Ep. 282: "The Grand Slam"
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coming in and now it has been in fact it
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wasn't yesterday it was the day before
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it has been 48 hours with not a single
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Grand Slam or sign of life nor has the
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dog barked it is back to silence silence
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silence emptiness complete lack of
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emotion does this bring us up to date
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now and now the the entire reason I
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started to bring this up was right
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before you called I was sitting in my
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chair looking out the window at the gas
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powered leaf blower guy walking around
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the driveway of the house in question
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mm-hmm blowing dirt and leaves around
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which is all those things do just
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blowing it around and I was like oh
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Merlin's gonna call and then I've got
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this leaf blower guy house on your mind
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and then the phone rang leaf blower guy
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miraculously stuck turned his motor off
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almost simultaneously with you and I was
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I started to tell this story in to prep
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you for the fact that there might be
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gasping gone into this expecting to tell
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me about this whole story no I was just
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like look you got to be you got to be
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ready for this there's this things have
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changed around here and there's gonna be
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some machine noise in the background but
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he's gone the Sun is out there's no
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rooster even I don't know what it's like
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everything's gone quiet because the
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because they're feeling some
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electromagnetic pulse and Mount Rainier
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is about to explode or I don't know what
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happened they everybody got raptured see
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you have an answer I don't know what's
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on your 3x5 car it's a startup
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oh hi John how's it going oh gosh oh
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although although got a little bit of a
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breaking news so you know over the last
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year we saw first of all we saw Skeeter
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died of cirrhosis of the liver and then
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we lost Randy Randy man Randy is Randy
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from across the street
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really Randy who lives in his van down
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by the river oh and then the house got
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sold to the flippers mm-hmm and they
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worked on it for a long time they spent
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a lot of money on it it up check in with
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you to make sure you were keeping an eye
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yep check checking in with me checking
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in to spend a lot of money on it and
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then for some reason couldn't quite they
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expected to put it on the market and it
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would just sell in an instant and I
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think maybe part of it was that the
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street appeal was somewhat the street
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that I live on doesn't have a ton of
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patrick living next to me works in the
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underground sewer installation
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department of a company that works with
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the city he's got a he's got a working
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man's truck out front and and he
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sometimes I think his son-in-law wrecked
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a car and so he brought it over to
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Patrick's and he put it under a tarp
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this is a neighborhood where people are
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working they're doing stuff they're not
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hiding anything under a bushel basket
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nope I have a I have an RV it's actually
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presently hidden under a bushel basket
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but it's a huge basket the the guys that
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live across the street
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they have like a business on the side
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where they're working on cars so
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sometimes there are other people don't
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like that now between 13 and 30 cars
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anyway they did a very nice job fixing
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up this house and it didn't sell right
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away but then it finally did sell and
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flippers know well and I met the owners
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on the day before Christmas Eve and they
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were just a very delightful
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african-american couple with two
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children young children five and three
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and most I mean was it Jamaica was that
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then moved so this is a view for people
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who have deep catalogue this is
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this is jamaica's house and Jamaica
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moved and I don't know where I haven't
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heard from her since she the last time
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Jamaican I talked she was asking me if I
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would take Randy's van into my yard for
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a couple of weeks while Randy got his
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stuff figured out got the backdoor pilot
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that's pretty bad yeah
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did she decline I did yeah already got
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this bushel basket over here I did well
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I said I said and I we may have talked
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about it at the time I said you cannot
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we can't do this because this is not a
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this is not an asset this van is not an
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asset to you need to stop thinking about
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it like it's his asset you know what I
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mean like he's thinking for his door
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monkey spa yeah and and of course the
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man we're talking about is not named
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Randy mm-hmm what is his name
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Merlin I'm afraid that's okay I think
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for purposes of this show will go with
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Randy no but what what is his actual
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name it's not Jesse Randy is the name of
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the restaurant down at the bottom of the
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I know this people yeah yeah it is not
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it's not Skeeter it's not Skeeter it's
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it's a name like this oh boy what is his
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name I just bring that on me like that
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I don't know well I'm just sitting here
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thinking like it sounds like it should
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be Randy but it's not Randy this is like
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he'd be yelling it is at his youngest
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Luke phone you know who it is
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no I know they know yeah people are
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screaming at us right now
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it's not Randy it's um Jesse Pinkman is
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the guy from Breaking Bad right right
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no it's it's gonna be one for the hall
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of fame why did I say no idea it'll come
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anyway it's not an asset it's not an
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asset this thing and he thinks it's like
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a piece of material that he thinks this
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is where his retirement is in this van
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and it's garbage it's like it needs to
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go to the crusher it's not restorable
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and I'm somebody who has some experience
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buying and trying to restore this thank
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you I mean apart from forgetting his
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name I think you're really missing the
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elephant in the room which is that I've
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given you advice before unsolicited
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advice that whenever you're thinking
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about a decision that involves a
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relationship with another person it's
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just what I ask do I want much more of
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this relationship or much less of this
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relationship right just abstract this
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idea and in this instance the idea of
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taking his asset unto your property is
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gonna give you a lot more interaction
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with the artist formerly known as Randy
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I do not want that no I hear in his
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calls no it's nothing there right oh
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it's the fits I mean they're there it's
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not salvageable like as a piece of metal
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like there's nothing in it the it's rust
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it's rusted it's completely rusted he
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like it's like it's like full of rats
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it's like not a it's it's not just that
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it's not a nice truck it's like not like
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you it's it's tetanus it's ten anyway so
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this young couple buys the house we have
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a we have an extremely pleasant exchange
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on the street I'm like you guys are
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moving in on Christmas Eve
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and they kind of were like yeah like
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that what we need with two kids that was
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no big deal and I was like wow that
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seems like a really big deal move into a
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new house on Christmas heat but at the
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same time how amazing you get to spend
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your first you know like first Christmas
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in the new house that's for adventure
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this do yeah and I was like this is
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gonna be fun we're gonna have a fun time
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she said that she was a long time
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satellite he was from Brooklyn and we
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were gonna get along famously and the
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thing is I was leaving for Christmas we
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we spent Christmas up at a little house
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in the snow and so I was like you know
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well I'll get together welcome-wagon
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when I get back and then in January I
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traveled a lot February I traveled a lot
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and I didn't see them right I didn't
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bump into them on the street very often
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every once in a while there would be the
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car would pull up they drove like nice
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cars nice SUV style new ones you know
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like you know somebody drives up in a
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SUV and it's like pearlescent Wow nice I
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don't even know what brand it is they
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it's a little class version of having
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fancy nails you know saying yeah yeah
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it's like I'm not gonna be digging with
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my hands anytime soon yeah this thing is
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full-time four-wheel drive and I'll
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never drive off of the road
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but then after a while and then there
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were there were a couple of Sundays
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where like Sunday evening I would come
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home and there would be cars parked all
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on the street and in our neighborhood
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there are no sidewalks it feels kind of
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country out here and so the areas in
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front of people's houses bye-bye
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accepted convention in the neighborhood
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those areas sort of belong to the house
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if you're gonna park your car on the
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street you're gonna park it in your area
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and not bleed over into somebody else
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right that's somebody else's shoulder
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yeah and it's not like if there were
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sidewalks right then you just park your
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car on the sidewalk and you park your
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car in a parking spot and they don't
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belong to people but yeah you know like
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the gravel in front of my house is
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an extension of my yard that's how we
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all art everywhere the neighbor that's
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right over here that's next to me on the
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other side they will drink they'll bring
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the front bumper of their car right up
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to the fence line but they would never
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go two inches with their bumper over
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that fence line ain't it's not yeah I
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know anyway I would come home on Sunday
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and there would be a bunch of cars like
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parked on my side of the street in front
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of my house where I park mm-hmm and so
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there was no place for me to park I was
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like whoa but I talked to my mom about
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it I was like what do I do in this
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situation she said these are public
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roads if you go over and ask them not to
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park in front of your house you are a
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very bad person debating that really I
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was like all right all right I said but
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what about social convention and she was
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like these are the public roads you do
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not mess with the public roads I know
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better than to disagree with your mom
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but uh let's say sure about her police
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work there I think this is a culture
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this is you know we're living in a
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society that's what I thought too but
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you know as you say you don't you don't
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you know you go against mom and then
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you'll live to regret it
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anyway I didn't say anything couple of
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Sundays went by I was like whatever no
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problem it's a temporary thing but it
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did make me feel like oh they're Church
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people they're having events on Sunday
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evening after Journal I see where
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they're inviting people over and so it's
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gonna be it's gonna be even harder to
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kind of go into this situation and be
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like hi I know that you're having like a
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church event but don't park in front of
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couldn't do it you know it's just like
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this is just we're just we're learning
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about each other but then it got real
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quiet over there and I and by the time
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the end of February rolled around it had
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become curious I've never seen or heard
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the kids well it's just been clear now
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no more pearlescent SUV coming to going
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well they have a garage with the door
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that opens and closes and I could always
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tell when Jamaica was here and randy
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paul paulie i can always tell when they
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were there because the garage was full
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of garbage so they couldn't park inside
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there or not but now they could be
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parking inside they could it's a two-car
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garage they could it be all inside but
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you know I'm out at all hours I come and
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go I never saw them come and go so I was
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like it's interesting that they're very
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quiet and I don't mind a quiet neighbor
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mm-hmm better than karaoke and I'm
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saying yeah but but you know the house
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is very neatly kept it was it was put
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into neat neat zone in order to sell and
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it still looks like it's a house for
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sale you know the yard is very kept it's
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very neat well about two three weeks ago
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all of a sudden cars were coming and
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going from the house and it was a
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situation where I just generally rough
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you just be clear so you have or have
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not seen kids playing in the yard or
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none have not heard of finger you know I
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fit in my house I listen to what's going
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on on the street if I was a sibling and
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lived in a big free-standing
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single-family house I'd be out playing
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you'd be out playing he'd be hitting
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stuff with a stick even though it's the
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winter but if you come in the car and
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you get out on the way between the car
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and the house as you know from having a
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kid even that closing that that 20 yards
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from the under under under 10 yeah there
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won't silence any bikes you don't see
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any big wheels frisbees skateboards
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scooters not only do I not but I have
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never heard someone go mom that's not a
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single time okay this is you got me I'm
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hooked so I'm like what's going on over
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there now I'm peeking through the blinds
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every once a while but I'm but it's the
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it's like opposite day I'm peeking
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through the blinds at nothing nothing's
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happening but then I'm sitting in the
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I'm sitting in the living room and I
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start hearing the tell-tale signs of
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people coming and going which are you
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here some you know faint music playing
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as a car drives up the sits there with
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the motor running for a minute
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turns off and then a door slams as
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somebody gets out of the
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and that's not you know that's not
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unusual like I say that the people next
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door to them they have between 13 and 30
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cars so he's here door slamming sure but
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but I started to hear these events where
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car would pull up and I would hear this
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slam slam slam slam slam slam slam slam
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slam slam that's that sounds like a mob
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that sounds like the Mafia to me yes
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just unsound and I heard nine door slams
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I would assume that's a bunch of guys
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getting out of mob cars and and that's
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what it that's what I felt - and so I
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did what what you do when you are
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somebody like me who takes an interest
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in other people sure I would get up and
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I would go look out and say who's your
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social creature that's right and what
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was happening was there were three cars
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that were arriving all at the same time
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and there were between nine and thirteen
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white kids in their early 20s who all
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were pretty clean-cut
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you know like fresh-faced hmm and they
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we're all getting at they were arriving
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at the same time all getting out of the
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car at the same time obviously from the
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obviously from the multiple slams the
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grand slam as I like to call it yeah and
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then they were going in through the gate
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not in through the front door but in
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through the gate into the backyard okay
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okay I think it's a sports team or
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missionaries well so I immediately think
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missionaries okay because what are you
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so you got a young african-american
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family that has already established that
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sometimes they have Sunday evening
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events and then you have a bunch of
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teenage fresh fresh-faced college-age
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people who are coming and going as a
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group I'm thinking this guy is a pastor
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he's got a youth group of some kind
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learning the trade they're here for like
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youth these are like the leaders the
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elders of their youth groups or whatever
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they're getting some extra like Deacons
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in training yeah oh I should mention at
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some point on the fence facing the front
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next to the garage appeared a sign that
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was the kind of sign that you would get
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at Target that said like this is Janet's
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room keep out that's made to look like a
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street sign right that they could say
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keep calm and carry on or it could say
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like Volkswagen bug parking I'm looking
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for world's greatest people right for
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world's greatest people but it is shaped
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like us like a city sign looks like one
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and it said what does it say it's not
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visitor parking only it's something like
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parking for guests only it's it's uh
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it's worded strangely what it's like the
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kind of wording it doesn't like a city
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sign would say you know visitor parking
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only something simple but this is like
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parking for guests only it's like
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something you would find in the front of
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the Royal Hawaiian hotel this is
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tickling my zoning phone and it felt a
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little bit like oh this is the this is
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the first expression of the family's
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like personality that they've put in the
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house they didn't put a little statue of
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or then put two two white lions on
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either side of the driveway like you see
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in my neighborhood a lot they didn't put
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a Buddha next to the front door they
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didn't put a like a little wind chime
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they put this like parking for guests
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only sign on the fence and and it's
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charming but but now I'm starting now so
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they are thinking about parking well
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yeah oh and that's the other thing I was
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like oh okay well I mean interesting
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interesting oh you're knocking we're not
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gonna put fourteen Lexuses in there
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fourteen Lex I that's high anyway so so
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I was here in the Grand Slam a lot Grand
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Slam in the morning Grand Slam at noon
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Grand Slam in the other one occasion
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Grand Slam at night from this one's
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coming in like white people coming in
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coming and going okay
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Grand Slam at 11:30 at night 11:30 at
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night such that every time I heard a
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Grand Slam which again is organized is
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something very organized happening
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coming and going so and every time I
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would look out it's not let's just be
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clear here just cuz my mind I have no
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idea what this is going if it was a
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social occasion where you're gonna have
◼
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some potato salad people would become in
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a different time some people would be
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late their kids would be screaming this
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is a heterogeneous group of people
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arriving all at the same time and
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immediately doing a Grand Slam and then
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heading back through the gate heading
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back through the gate not going in
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through the front door okay so I do a
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little bit I went over and I looked at
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the cars one of the cars so there's a
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like 2010 okay 2010 4runner okay all
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right got it with Montana plate Montana
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►
you say and one sticker which is of a
◼
►
blue whale with no other writing on it
◼
►
is it the company they make sportswear
◼
►
nope it's just a blue whale talking with
◼
►
the blue was a whale my daughter likes
◼
►
no this is a different this is like the
◼
►
type of blue whale that you would get at
◼
►
an aquarium it's not adorable no it's
◼
►
not cute it is a this is a very similar
◼
►
to dwell okay but it doesn't say like
◼
►
Rhode Island aquarium okay there's
◼
►
nothing just a blue whale okay and
◼
►
Montana plates no other no that's Big
◼
►
Sky Country that's Big Sky Country
◼
►
oh no and one other things there is a
◼
►
little sticker on the bottom corner of
◼
►
the window that I later decipher as a
◼
►
parking sticker for a Boise State
◼
►
in Boise Idaho yeah Montana Montana
◼
►
guess parking only the second car is
◼
►
what I would guesstimate to be like a
◼
►
2009 Infiniti with Washington plates and
◼
►
no other sign no stickers no other sign
◼
►
of life like if you look in the windows
◼
►
it's just like grandma's car nothing no
◼
►
one PR sticker no NPR the parking pass
◼
►
no sticker that says like Christian
◼
►
Leadership Conference no sticker that
◼
►
says you know coexist no like no fish no
◼
►
Darwin fish no fish eating a fish
◼
►
nothing and then the third car which
◼
►
always parks in the this parking for
◼
►
guests only spot because the other two
◼
►
cars park on the street they just park
◼
►
on the park what I would consider
◼
►
correctly like on the dirt in front of
◼
►
that house okay but the one that always
◼
►
parks in the slot is a brand new car
◼
►
with temporary license plates okay
◼
►
temporary Washington plates that have
◼
►
what so temporary the leader yeah I know
◼
►
but but the plates are ten days got a
◼
►
nice new car they recently either
◼
►
recently moved the area recently bought
◼
►
a car in the area they have not gotten
◼
►
their permanent plates right but they
◼
►
have let it lapse and they park in the
◼
►
so now I am now I'm prepared to the next
◼
►
time I see the kids I'm gonna say like
◼
►
hey hi I'm your neighbor what's up what
◼
►
you guys did you know what you no no but
◼
►
I am never in the in the week that I'm
◼
►
trying to put myself into like this
◼
►
situation I'm never able to get the get
◼
►
to them between hearing the grand slam
◼
►
and them all disappearing behind the
◼
►
very efficient I just point of
◼
►
information so just took just to cross a
◼
►
tee here if I'm understand this
◼
►
correctly Grand Slam Grand Slam Grand
◼
►
Slam over a period of days but still no
◼
►
sign of the african-american family at
◼
►
all okay this okay yep okay kids never
◼
►
hear a kid no kids oh okay okay we're
◼
►
here a darn thing these these these
◼
►
presumptive missionaries whoever this is
◼
►
they seem to be kind of running the
◼
►
well except they never go in the front
◼
►
don't they don't go in the front door
◼
►
and when you look at the house at night
◼
►
none of the lights are on oh this is
◼
►
such a good mystery John you're so good
◼
►
I remember when it was being fixed up by
◼
►
the flippers by fuller dan and I do
◼
►
remember his name was Dan I toured the
◼
►
house many times and what he did was he
◼
►
turned the downstairs which had been a
◼
►
kind of slap a - mother-in-law
◼
►
he turned the downstairs into a proper
◼
►
you could even call it a three-bedroom
◼
►
apartment although the zoning would not
◼
►
allow you to describe it as that but it
◼
►
definitely there were but if you wanted
◼
►
to have a relative come and live with
◼
►
you they could be there very comfortably
◼
►
very comfortably there there was a nice
◼
►
nice big living room he put a full bath
◼
►
down there there there was a nice
◼
►
staircase up to the main house and it
◼
►
had three I mean one room that qualified
◼
►
as a large legal bedroom and then an
◼
►
office and then a bedroom that was you
◼
►
know like you could have three people
◼
►
living down there for sure means of
◼
►
egress entrance it doesn't have its own
◼
►
dan was thinking ahead he was he was and
◼
►
and there were a couple of people that
◼
►
came to look at the house during the
◼
►
period when it was for sale that were
◼
►
like yeah we're thing about having my
◼
►
mother live in the basement and I'm like
◼
►
that's a great idea it's a great house
◼
►
you should buy it the the the young
◼
►
family that did buy it did not show any
◼
►
signs of having a mother
◼
►
in law plan but they were like you know
◼
►
they were affluent young family with two
◼
►
kids I assumed that they would fill up
◼
►
that house with with toys and excitement
◼
►
ask a question yeah go ahead
◼
►
I might have missed this how did you
◼
►
establish that the initial
◼
►
african-american family were the owners
◼
►
of the house in the long first
◼
►
conversation so you did you did talk
◼
►
about this and they were they were the
◼
►
people who bought the house in your
◼
►
estimation yeah well they drove they
◼
►
drove up I was standing out I think I
◼
►
was even packing my car to go to the
◼
►
mountains and those I'm sorry Christmas
◼
►
yes yes yes and they drive up and I'm
◼
►
like hello I march over hello and
◼
►
they're like hello okay and I said are
◼
►
you the new owners and they're like we
◼
►
are we just closed and I'm like it's
◼
►
okay yes I'm sorry you didn't establish
◼
►
this so but at that point you've
◼
►
imprinted on this idea that this is the
◼
►
nuclear family that's gonna live in
◼
►
flippered Ann's old house that's right
◼
►
and they are gonna be they're gonna have
◼
►
kids that come over and play with my
◼
►
daughter pushing a hoop around with a
◼
►
stick lemonade stand and they are part
◼
►
of the kind of gentrification that I've
◼
►
been waiting for in the neighborhood
◼
►
which is that because this neighborhood
◼
►
is the most diverse ZIP code in America
◼
►
we we here in this neighborhood want to
◼
►
keep that true we do not want to see
◼
►
what's happened in the rest of Seattle
◼
►
happen here which is that there is
◼
►
displacement we want instead for the
◼
►
standard of living to rise while Maine
◼
►
whilst maintaining a diverse community
◼
►
so they were like decidedly a
◼
►
middle-class family that was going to
◼
►
like increase the tax base so the
◼
►
schools are better you know while at the
◼
►
same time like not changing the fact
◼
►
that I'm the only white person in my
◼
►
neighborhood right they need you they
◼
►
need me I'm the anchor baby in the
◼
►
neighborhood anyway so I keep putting
◼
►
myself in situations where I'm trying to
◼
►
when this Grand Slam of of white
◼
►
Millennials is going to show up and move
◼
►
as a group really fast through what is
◼
►
just one fence gate like I don't know
◼
►
how they do it frankly and there was one
◼
►
time when I was driving up as they
◼
►
arrived and I was like here's my chance
◼
►
and I put the car in park I opened the
◼
►
door and they they were moving so fast
◼
►
and I got out and kind of was like uh
◼
►
and they they reflexively like looked
◼
►
down and away from me in a way
◼
►
suggesting that they were young people
◼
►
who did not ever want to look at an
◼
►
adult or beat yes not engaged with the
◼
►
olds not engaged nobody was like hi or
◼
►
anything they were just like get us out
◼
►
of here okay so there's a third wrinkle
◼
►
Oh God which is that the Mexican family
◼
►
that lives on the corner that has
◼
►
between 13 and 30 cars for the last
◼
►
several years has had a rooster now they
◼
►
have chickens and the chickens are
◼
►
running around the neighborhood and
◼
►
everybody thinks that's charming but
◼
►
they had a rooster which is technically
◼
►
against Seattle City regulations
◼
►
interesting you're not supposed to have
◼
►
a rooster because roosters are a pain in
◼
►
the ass season ye yeah right even out in
◼
►
the fucking farms roosters are a pain in
◼
►
the ass but in a city what does it
◼
►
rooster do Hawaii if they warned me
◼
►
about the roosters there they got there
◼
►
on their own timetable and this rooster
◼
►
is a fucking dumbass like they all are
◼
►
and it's a very very very first inkling
◼
►
of light he's and he does it all morning
◼
►
and then all day he's just fucking
◼
►
cockadoodle doodling all the time talk
◼
►
of the walk and somebody said to me like
◼
►
well you know with in Mexican culture a
◼
►
rooster is a very important character he
◼
►
plays a B plays a role within like
◼
►
culturally within the whole sort of
◼
►
pantheon like a rooster as a he's a guy
◼
►
right just explaining it's a rooster guy
◼
►
mm-hmm and I'm like all right okay keep
◼
►
keep a rooster around like you know like
◼
►
like I guess I guess the
◼
►
neighborhood jaundice I'm gonna claim
◼
►
the Ravens and the raccoons huh
◼
►
you've got your rooster visit earlier
◼
►
yeah that's right and somebody's gonna
◼
►
want the possum it's not me somebody
◼
►
somebody wants something no thought
◼
►
can't have that we all get the rats the
◼
►
cancer around for us all but the Ravens
◼
►
the Ravens ER and I have an
◼
►
understanding so I was fine with the
◼
►
rooster I mean I wasn't like thrilled
◼
►
about it but I'm not somebody that's
◼
►
gonna pick up the phone and be like the
◼
►
motorcycle he's coming again what's the
◼
►
matter sico you used to it that's right
◼
►
there's a rooster and he wakes me up in
◼
►
the morning and whatever okay so yeah
◼
►
rooster but but they also at some point
◼
►
along the way I cannot remember exactly
◼
►
when bought a dog which they keep pinned
◼
►
in a pen at the far end of their
◼
►
property which is pretty far from the
◼
►
house but very close to the house that
◼
►
I'm describing Oh flip the flipper dance
◼
►
all place good and close to this newly
◼
►
yeah the pen oh that's a nuisance John
◼
►
right on the other side of the fence I
◼
►
didn't sign this and if you took a tape
◼
►
measure the pen of the dog is actually
◼
►
probably closer to my bedroom window
◼
►
than it is to any window of the house to
◼
►
which the dog belongs now the dog I've
◼
►
been conscious of the dog for a long
◼
►
time because the dog every once while
◼
►
sounds like a dog and I'm lay all right
◼
►
okay I smelled something on the wind
◼
►
there's another dog somewhere in this
◼
►
neighborhood that everyone swallows and
◼
►
then this dog goes okay that happens a
◼
►
few times a day and I go that's just how
◼
►
it is it's just like then the resource
◼
►
and there used to be a dog down the road
◼
►
that was just all day long
◼
►
no see now that's that's and I remember
◼
►
my place when there used to be the dog
◼
►
upstairs oh that dog remembered remember
◼
►
Linus that Linus would attack you with
◼
►
my sweet a sweet little dog but they
◼
►
keep him in a kennel literally right
◼
►
over my head where I worked all day and
◼
►
he would do this in terms of eight feet
◼
►
from my ear was a dog all day and
◼
►
that'll make a person a little bit crazy
◼
►
after a while and they were gone during
◼
►
the day oh gosh yeah that's why - have
◼
►
sweet little - that's why he was in his
◼
►
little in his little kennel is low
◼
►
bastard here you go sweetie here's some
◼
►
cookie dough with some Martha some like
◼
►
a diet dies a pram in it or whatever
◼
►
like I would resort to screaming three
◼
►
times a day well so okay got a lot of
◼
►
pieces on the board here yeah
◼
►
this dog this rooster this situation
◼
►
over here never was a problem for me the
◼
►
the family that lives there is an
◼
►
extended family by which I means there's
◼
►
a family with the automobiles yeah but
◼
►
in the 13 and 30 cars there are also
◼
►
between 3 and 5 families living in the
◼
►
house it's a big house
◼
►
and there are a lot of daughters there
◼
►
are by my estimation at least one
◼
►
quinceanera a year for the last eight
◼
►
so I don't know how I don't know how you
◼
►
do that I don't know how you keep the
◼
►
quinceanera factory spinning like that
◼
►
but there's Amazon subscribe and save
◼
►
this episode of Roderick on the line is
◼
►
brought to you by Squarespace you can
◼
►
learn more about Squarespace right now
◼
►
by visiting squarespace.com it's right
◼
►
there on the Internet oh you guys know
◼
►
it I am such a fan of Squarespace it is
◼
►
what we use to host Roderick on the line
◼
►
more about that in a second but what do
◼
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you want Squarespace for well you can
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they're great at that so get out there
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we're encouraging folks to make it you
◼
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make it yourself easily create a website
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all by yourself as I've said before I'm
◼
►
a huge fan of Squarespace I've been with
◼
►
them for I don't even know how many
◼
►
years now if you're listening to the
◼
►
Roderick on the line podcast which I
◼
►
assume you are right now you're already
◼
►
using Squarespace you're using it as a
◼
►
consumer of Squarespace but you could
◼
►
also use it as a creator of Squarespace
◼
►
you put up whatever you want you get it
◼
►
up there you dingus put something on
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Squarespace you go to Squarespace
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►
squarespace.com and when you go there
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you know what you can use well first of
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►
all you go to Squarespace and create a
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supertrain our thanks to Squarespace for
◼
►
supporting Rodrick on the line and all
◼
►
the great shows but I love them as
◼
►
neighbors they're extremely
◼
►
conscientious I think that they are you
◼
►
know they're the best sort of version of
◼
►
a hundred percent something nice about
◼
►
this I mean like like the like when I go
◼
►
in next door and people are like oh
◼
►
there's people coming ask you on my
◼
►
packages part of that is there's just
◼
►
not much activity there's not much come
◼
►
and go there's not much like I think I
◼
►
think people are a little bit more
◼
►
respectful of a neighborhood where
◼
►
there's stuff going on it's a
◼
►
neighborhood stuff is happening it's a
◼
►
nice place to live except fetid misters
◼
►
in the morning the girls are always
◼
►
going to school in a big gaggle and in
◼
►
the end then they come home in the
◼
►
afternoon and there are moms around and
◼
►
that's nice cars coming and going and
◼
►
they and everybody and it you know what
◼
►
it is it's a situation where everybody
◼
►
tips their hat over there if you walk by
◼
►
if you drive by I love that John get a
◼
►
little hat tip and you give a little hat
◼
►
tip give a little get a little give a
◼
►
little get a little so it just feels
◼
►
like exactly the right kind of like
◼
►
issue cover this on your the program a
◼
►
lot of people don't know how to do how
◼
►
delicate anymore I know right it's a
◼
►
thing that's a thing that you could find
◼
►
out by listening to Omnibus with Ken
◼
►
Jennings regularly-scheduled predicted
◼
►
to get anyway so the grand slams what
◼
►
I'm realizing is that the Grand Slam
◼
►
comes in goes through the back gate goes
◼
►
around the back into the back door but
◼
►
then I think is sitting around on the
◼
►
back porch of the house in a way that I
◼
►
cannot see but that the Pend dog right
◼
►
on the other side of the fence is very
◼
►
aware of Oh interesting
◼
►
so starting that becomes like a little
◼
►
mirror that lets you look around the
◼
►
corner yes and the way he mirrors it is
◼
►
okay from 10:00 to 2:00 p.m. p.m. 10:00
◼
►
p.m. to 2 a.m. no that's no good
◼
►
and so you if you ask todd todd todd
◼
►
sleep bro he would tell you he did not
◼
►
no no he's mad I'm mad and the thing is
◼
►
for a few days I don't make the
◼
►
connection I'm like what the fuck is
◼
►
going on around here like all of a
◼
►
sudden this dogs that I has been there
◼
►
for maybe between 1 and 11 years I don't
◼
►
know but now I'm conscious of this dog
◼
►
barking all night this isn't how things
◼
►
and there's the fucking kids across the
◼
►
street and where's the family that I
◼
►
thought I was gonna be friends with and
◼
►
what the hell is going on around here
◼
►
and I and I actually got
◼
►
this is what it call this one is locked
◼
►
room mysteries what's a call trapped
◼
►
room Baumbach box it's an Asian American
◼
►
finger trap finger trap how did you even
◼
►
get in this situation you wake up one
◼
►
day all this others fucking roosters and
◼
►
kids in Harrison barking dogs yeah and
◼
►
some kind of a cult is a cult I thought
◼
►
we were I thought it was stability we
◼
►
were getting when when Jamaica and hand
◼
►
and with a little Randy no little Randy
◼
►
went away oh my god I'm spent
◼
►
Oh Larry and he's such a garyun so not a
◼
►
Randy I don't know just know Gary's and
◼
►
Randy's are very related they're usually
◼
►
assistant managers at restaurants they
◼
►
are it's true and the thing is that
◼
►
Randy is the is the stereotype name that
◼
►
we give to Gary's yeah manager a stepdad
◼
►
that's really okay this is how long so
◼
►
the your initial first contact was
◼
►
around in the Christmas holiday period
◼
►
you know where are we up to at this
◼
►
point in the story so so then January it
◼
►
just seemed like oh they're real quiet
◼
►
stipulated January and February you're
◼
►
I'm touring alone gathering as much
◼
►
string you know as many things together
◼
►
and what and it made it plausible that
◼
►
like oh I don't see these two because
◼
►
I'm gone they're on a regular schedule
◼
►
and it's winter three reasons why you
◼
►
might not see people on Sundays every
◼
►
once while I come home and there's this
◼
►
traffic jam but I'm also gone along to a
◼
►
lot of the Sundays so those traffic jams
◼
►
could be happening every Sunday and I'm
◼
►
just not there okay or it could be rarer
◼
►
than that but I if you don't notice you
◼
►
don't notice the things you don't see
◼
►
and you don't notice the things you
◼
►
don't notice right this is what it's
◼
►
like a cognitive bias but but King Midas
◼
►
in Reverse you're once you start
◼
►
noticing you know what you start really
◼
►
noticing but if you're not noticing you
◼
►
can't notice because you don't notice
◼
►
but then once you notice
◼
►
you're starting to put the string
◼
►
together is what I'm saying all I'm
◼
►
noticing up until about the end of
◼
►
February is I still haven't gotten to
◼
►
know my new neighbors but I'm sure when
◼
►
the Sun comes out yeah they're in the
◼
►
yard and I'm in the yard we're gonna get
◼
►
a house in a neighborhood you're buying
◼
►
a family house for a family in a
◼
►
neighborhood I'm not seeing everybody
◼
►
but most Americans in that situation you
◼
►
want to at least like wave to your
◼
►
neighbors that's pretty normal like hey
◼
►
you know everything's good hi
◼
►
like that's just such a normal thing for
◼
►
somebody new in the neighborhood I think
◼
►
well and the thing is I'm not seeing
◼
►
them even to wave at them it's not like
◼
►
they're being unfriendly right I'm just
◼
►
not even seen okay and I understand you
◼
►
know I'm missing a tooth right now sure
◼
►
how's your hair looks pretty good I was
◼
►
looking at your Instagram that's a
◼
►
little bit too short I mean it just
◼
►
seems like if you did have the option of
◼
►
driving up to your house pushing a
◼
►
button the garage door goes up you go in
◼
►
and the garage door goes closed if I'm
◼
►
standing there you know with like a
◼
►
pitchfork in one hand and like a
◼
►
Romanian flag in the other understand
◼
►
why you would go straight in okay that's
◼
►
what that's not happening now it's only
◼
►
in the it's only in March now that that
◼
►
all of this starts to happen all at once
◼
►
the kids the door the grand slam the dog
◼
►
the and and that's all causing me to
◼
►
realize wait I have not seen my
◼
►
neighbors in a long time yeah and it got
◼
►
so bad that I got up got dressed and
◼
►
went out and down the block prepared to
◼
►
ring the doorbell at the Mexicans house
◼
►
to say what's going on let's talk about
◼
►
this dog we've been friends for a long
◼
►
time in certainly Dean I mean they're
◼
►
right there they got the dog that got
◼
►
the cards to get the kids in years
◼
►
they must be seeing stuff well let's see
◼
►
in the backyard too right except that
◼
►
their dog and their dogs all the way
◼
►
down by flipper dams and the house is
◼
►
further away from them than it is for me
◼
►
okay like there are the lots are big
◼
►
here and there between
◼
►
their house and and this and the house
◼
►
in question there are between 13 and 30
◼
►
cars like that's the area that they do
◼
►
all the mechanical work that's where
◼
►
they have the quinceañeras that's where
◼
►
they have a basketball hoop like it's a
◼
►
so you could be living in that in their
◼
►
house and the dog just sounds like a dog
◼
►
in the distance and the kids just sound
◼
►
like it like kids in the dissing you
◼
►
can't see in the flipper dance yard
◼
►
can't see it okay but so I go down there
◼
►
and and because there's a lot of
◼
►
activity at that house there's a guy
◼
►
standing out in the yard look at Sierra
◼
►
SH at 11:30 at night just he's just in
◼
►
between he's coming and going okay and I
◼
►
think I'm dropping off cars picking up
◼
►
cars there's stuff happening well there
◼
►
are a few families living there so
◼
►
there's a lot there's a lot to me Oh
◼
►
oh and I should say that in that that in
◼
►
the in the different layers of languages
◼
►
that are happening in my neighborhood
◼
►
and particularly there at that house
◼
►
English is down somewhere it's not in
◼
►
first place okay it's like it's down in
◼
►
the it's between 2nd and 5th place of
◼
►
languages that are being regularly
◼
►
spoken so I go over and say hey and he's
◼
►
like hey what's up and I said let's talk
◼
►
about this dog and he says what's going
◼
►
on what oh no he said what did he do and
◼
►
we're both standing there and the dog is
◼
►
going okay and the dog is doing this and
◼
►
I point over at the dog behind the fence
◼
►
and he looks over and looks at me and
◼
►
I'm like and it's doing this all night
◼
►
sparking now like this all the time I
◼
►
don't know what happened I don't know
◼
►
what changed but this is like this has
◼
►
so I can't just do this all the time and
◼
►
he kind of is concerned and nods and he
◼
►
says well I'll talk to the guy that owns
◼
►
hmm I'm like okay right that makes sense
◼
►
there are a lot of people living in this
◼
►
house yeah lot going on and he this
◼
►
person that I'm talking to is not
◼
►
prepared to take responsibility for the
◼
►
dog and there is a there's an
◼
►
understanding clearly within the house
◼
►
that there are different things are
◼
►
owned by different people it's not like
◼
►
we all are just all in co-ownership of
◼
►
this dog or of of that Volkswagen GTI or
◼
►
you know or whatever of this spit that's
◼
►
like the the the plastic four-foot-tall
◼
►
illuminated Christmas ornament of Jesus
◼
►
that is up all year okay so all season
◼
►
Jesus all season Jesus and it's not
◼
►
clear it's not clear to me anymore who
◼
►
in the house owns it I used to think it
◼
►
was communally owned but now I
◼
►
understand Oh all these things are owned
◼
►
by individuals intent and so he said I'm
◼
►
gonna talk to the guy that I wanted and
◼
►
I'm gonna tell him that you mentioned it
◼
►
that's all I that's all I can ask for
◼
►
and I went home and and listened for the
◼
►
rest of the night to the dog continue to
◼
►
signal into the night sky that he heard
◼
►
something or had a thought and I and
◼
►
it's frustrating when you go talk to
◼
►
somebody and then the problem doesn't go
◼
►
away immediately yeah I mean this is
◼
►
already you've got a couple different
◼
►
layers here faith faith like I talked to
◼
►
him he's gonna they're gonna have a
◼
►
family meeting tomorrow it's gonna be
◼
►
they're gonna work it out so then there
◼
►
came a climactic moment oh boy which was
◼
►
Graham's grand slam okay grand slam
◼
►
three three guitars and it's a bit and
◼
►
it's a big grand slam this is like the
◼
►
1213 person grand slam it's not the nine
◼
►
person grand slam it's the big one
◼
►
and I see them they all go through the
◼
►
fence before I can like get my shoes on
◼
►
and get outside and then they and this
◼
►
is like in the afternoon and then I see
◼
►
them through the fence sitting together
◼
►
like some of them sitting up on rock
◼
►
walls some of them sitting you know
◼
►
they're sitting in a semi-circle having
◼
►
a meeting it's not like a culty thing
◼
►
they're having like a meeting and I'm
◼
►
like this is a situation
◼
►
or like go through the gate and say hey
◼
►
since we're all here mm-hmm and I'm like
◼
►
I'm reluctant I'm reluctant do you have
◼
►
a deep confidence that you have some
◼
►
kind of a reason for piercing there
◼
►
perimeter with a question did you know
◼
►
what you're gonna ask me do you have
◼
►
like a you have like a dog collar in
◼
►
your hand going can you help me find my
◼
►
dog no here and that's exactly that's
◼
►
exactly what I should have done right
◼
►
like say hey my fan belt broke can you
◼
►
help but so here are the different
◼
►
factors in place right yeah I do not
◼
►
know like in my neighborhood there is
◼
►
always a racial component to every
◼
►
exchange because everyone is a different
◼
►
ethnicity yeah so anytime one person
◼
►
from one house goes over to the other to
◼
►
another house there's not just sometimes
◼
►
a language problem like the the
◼
►
neighbors over here where the guy parks
◼
►
just up to the fence line and not over
◼
►
they speak English as a second language
◼
►
their primary language is Vietnamese and
◼
►
so all of our exchanges although very
◼
►
friendly are like always somewhat kind
◼
►
of like hi um you guys have been cutting
◼
►
my bamboo for some reason I'm not sure
◼
►
why if it's if it's cultural I'm curious
◼
►
about it did you think it was just like
◼
►
there for you to make fences out of or
◼
►
art is it making you mad is my bamboo
◼
►
making you mad if so the conversations
◼
►
are very difficult super super difficult
◼
►
we have a neighbor that I thought we
◼
►
were on good terms on who
◼
►
slams a door in such a way that the
◼
►
entire house shakes and I went outside
◼
►
to say you know hey neighbor of many
◼
►
many years did you know something you
◼
►
our entire house shakes and everyone
◼
►
says so and he got real mad which made
◼
►
me think all the more that he's doing it
◼
►
on purpose that's just me that's just me
◼
►
and like all like I'm like a white tech
◼
►
bro it's like there's not
◼
►
intersectionality that's the wrong word
◼
►
but like there's all these layers and
◼
►
layers of like how we communicate with
◼
►
other people let alone language and
◼
►
that's gonna be a bad about I don't know
◼
►
why it was it felt kind of
◼
►
passive-aggressive well just took it off
◼
►
my trash and I was like yeah no I know I
◼
►
mean we all take out our trash once a
◼
►
week it's just that you just slam that
◼
►
door five times and it Massey literally
◼
►
I don't mean figuratively I mean it
◼
►
literally made our house shake like do
◼
►
you need to slam it that hard every time
◼
►
cuz that seems a little like aggressive
◼
►
and he was he was playing it off legit
◼
►
so I think he's miffed at us about
◼
►
something out know what so now I know
◼
►
the thing to think about you know saying
◼
►
this is the layers it's this layers and
◼
►
I don't so there are a lot there are a
◼
►
few layers here like this is a house
◼
►
this is a house owned by an an affluent
◼
►
african-american family that now has
◼
►
suddenly has like Hercule Poirot has
◼
►
just walked into the train compartment
◼
►
is now ready to bring the entire mystery
◼
►
together yeah but there are a dozen
◼
►
white Millennials coming and going okay
◼
►
so if it's Christian I feel like on the
◼
►
one hand they're probably going to be
◼
►
inclined to answer politely but on the
◼
►
other hand that is a cultural there's a
◼
►
cultural separation between me and they
◼
►
where I'm not sure exactly what I'm
◼
►
asking like just you know I'm just on
◼
►
this no on this index card I've written
◼
►
three words that is my guess at what it
◼
►
is and I'm gonna set it aside okay but I
◼
►
have a guess okay go ahead and also I
◼
►
have at that point there at this point
◼
►
made the connection oh the dog is
◼
►
barking at the kids the dogs been there
◼
►
for years the dog never had a problem
◼
►
never had a kid to Warka no the dog just
◼
►
barked every once in a while some
◼
►
sketchy person walked by the dog and
◼
►
Gary I don't remember the dog barking at
◼
►
Gary being a problem maybe the dog gave
◼
►
Gary like hi bark or a bye bark but he
◼
►
didn't sit and just constantly bark it
◼
►
Gary and when Gary was outside talking
◼
►
on the phone at 2:00 a.m.
◼
►
Gary was the problem not the dog like
◼
►
he's the one I was going out to yell at
◼
►
right Gary goddamn a gel-like so I so I
◼
►
don't feel 100% secure in walking across
◼
►
the street and ringing the doorbell and
◼
►
demanding answers particularly not after
◼
►
my mom told me that I have no right to
◼
►
yell at them about their parking that's
◼
►
gonna be on your mind now so I'm like
◼
►
what are my rights here
◼
►
like this is a mini problem yeah you can
◼
►
do what you want in your own house it's
◼
►
not like it's not like I can go over and
◼
►
say can you 11 people who are all
◼
►
showing up at the same time not all
◼
►
close your car doors at the same time
◼
►
like it's just the nature of 13 people
◼
►
arriving at once they are gonna get a
◼
►
grand slam and they they're millenniums
◼
►
they're not conscious of the dog right
◼
►
they don't even hear the dogs because
◼
►
this dog is just to them it's just the
◼
►
dogs always barking when they're out
◼
►
there so they just think that's what it
◼
►
I was on a hiking trail the other day
◼
►
with my daughter and we were going down
◼
►
and some people were coming up and it
◼
►
was a wide trail it was a like a jeep
◼
►
trail and there were five kids coming up
◼
►
and they were walking five abreast and
◼
►
they're millenniums and so we're walking
◼
►
down and my daughter turns to me when
◼
►
they're about a hundred feet away and
◼
►
this is the type of little person she is
◼
►
she says with some anxiousness daddy how
◼
►
are we going to get by isn't that
◼
►
Shannon need to find the trail now and I
◼
►
was like wow what an interesting little
◼
►
thing for you to be thinking about
◼
►
already and I said well sweetie and I
◼
►
said it I wasn't whispering I said it in
◼
►
a in a loud conversational voice I said
◼
►
well as we get closer to that
◼
►
I have to assume that they're going to
◼
►
give way for other people using the
◼
►
trail and they're going to move and as
◼
►
I'm saying this we're getting closer and
◼
►
closer to them they're going to move to
◼
►
let us walk by because we're just two
◼
►
people just walking down the trail and
◼
►
they're coming up and they're gonna and
◼
►
as I'm saying this they come right up on
◼
►
us five abreast and it's like two guys
◼
►
in three women and the two people that
◼
►
are like in the area of the trail where
◼
►
lucidi where you'd be allowing other
◼
►
people to go are both women and they
◼
►
just walk straight up on us and then at
◼
►
the very last second kind of like become
◼
►
aware of the existence of other people
◼
►
and like sort of like shrug their
◼
►
shoulders over to the side as though
◼
►
we're passing in a very confined and
◼
►
narrow spaces and like one of them
◼
►
actually brushes past me and and and you
◼
►
know and my kid has kind of gone over
◼
►
into the into the grass on this you know
◼
►
like and there's a ditch there's a clear
◼
►
ditch so she's scared of the ditch or
◼
►
whatever and I'm just like wow I don't I
◼
►
don't know what to I don't know how to
◼
►
do like I don't even know that feels
◼
►
like something though it's something
◼
►
it's a it's a cultural it's a
◼
►
generational difference it never ever
◼
►
ever ever ever would have happened
◼
►
before like that when you're taking a
◼
►
hike you say hi to people and you like
◼
►
it's it's like you're saying like we
◼
►
said we take hikes we say hi like that's
◼
►
the thing you do you say good morning in
◼
►
the culture of hiking that you shared
◼
►
the trail that you say hello when you're
◼
►
when you pass that you ignore but it's
◼
►
just in the culture you don't go for a
◼
►
hike unless you know these things you
◼
►
don't just go sell fire fast I mean like
◼
►
you know help a brother out
◼
►
know we're walking up the trail I guess
◼
►
we own the world it's just like crazy so
◼
►
so but they're over there they're not
◼
►
conscious of them themselves being the
◼
►
the source of the dog barking right I
◼
►
when I was when I was that age I
◼
►
wouldn't have either I don't think
◼
►
that's necessarily like that's just
◼
►
their they're not aware that they're
◼
►
doing that I took me four days to figure
◼
►
but I don't feel secure I definitely
◼
►
felt secure going over to the people I
◼
►
know and saying the dog like what's up
◼
►
but like to go over ringing the doorbell
◼
►
and say who are you and why are you in
◼
►
my neighborhood all of a sudden and what
◼
►
precisely the fuck is going on here yeah
◼
►
and is this a Jesus thing because that's
◼
►
fine but I want to know and so I'm right
◼
►
at the point where it's like okay this
◼
►
is like this is not like we can't live
◼
►
the dog all night kids coming and going
◼
►
but Kim my curiosity's going crazy
◼
►
what's the story here did you guys kill
◼
►
the family that was living there like I
◼
►
need some answers did you make us house
◼
►
is cursed well don't say that it looks
◼
►
great Oh oh god the other thing and the
◼
►
whole reason that I brought this up is
◼
►
that the family that owns the house now
◼
►
Jamaica's house flipper dip it in hires
◼
►
land scrapers to come once a week with
◼
►
gas-powered leaf blower oh come on you
◼
►
walk around man just blowing leaves and
◼
►
dirt how's the dog respond to that so
◼
►
confusing caused a lot of tumult in this
◼
►
neighborhood yeah confusingly the dog
◼
►
doesn't care about the leaf blower the
◼
►
doctor stuff whatever but but leaf
◼
►
blowers just in principle drive me crazy
◼
►
did you ever read there was an article
◼
►
in the Atlantic that's like 1010
◼
►
millenniums on a trail it's so it's so
◼
►
it's so aggressive there was an article
◼
►
in I think Atlantic about some rich
◼
►
neighborhood in Santa Barbara or
◼
►
something some valley that's like a like
◼
►
like a beautiful liberal oasis valley
◼
►
where everybody has a beautiful home and
◼
►
it's and the trees rustle in the wind
◼
►
and it's always 75 degrees and it's the
◼
►
perfect incubator of like middle-aged
◼
►
liberal culture because because there
◼
►
are no problems it seems like that's all
◼
►
that you need is the ball though all the
◼
►
to do is just be like them F affluence
◼
►
and passive-aggressive but what happened
◼
►
was at some point a rich white person
◼
►
who lived in the neighborhood broke the
◼
►
social convention and hired landscapers
◼
►
that used gas-powered leaf blowers and
◼
►
it became a huge issue within the
◼
►
community because then there were some
◼
►
people who decided that because the
◼
►
civil rights movement was already tied
◼
►
up with a bow that now they had a new
◼
►
cause which was to fight their neighbor
◼
►
who had a gas-powered leaf blower and so
◼
►
then they were hanging up posters and
◼
►
saying like BAM this gas-powered leaf
◼
►
blower and then the other guy who was a
◼
►
liberal but maybe like one degree more
◼
►
libertarian was like you can't tell me
◼
►
what to do and then then somebody
◼
►
acknowledged that all the people that
◼
►
were doing the work in the neighborhood
◼
►
were all Hispanic and so classic race
◼
►
issue because you're asking them to do
◼
►
this work with a broom
◼
►
what's on your mind as you're going into
◼
►
this situation well I mean every article
◼
►
like that I've read in my entire life is
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always on my mind in every situation sir
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►
like it's part of being as woke as I am
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►
II don't walk down the street without
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►
being conscious of everything always
◼
►
results all tempest and teapots they're
◼
►
all in there somewhere
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►
but in this situation like I feel like
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►
dealing with white 22 year olds with
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►
that have a blue whale sticker on the
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►
back of their of their their Toyota
◼
►
Xterra or whatever I feel like this is a
◼
►
group of people I can address you know
◼
►
in a shared language except for the
◼
►
Millennium Generation X cultural Gulf
◼
►
the the language barrier there sometimes
◼
►
is even greater than them a dog with the
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►
consider man yeah oh my god so tonight a
◼
►
little bit of a fit of pique here you're
◼
►
frustrated at this point I don't know
◼
►
what I don't know which way to go
◼
►
okay then yesterday mmm I hear a grand
◼
►
here we go off they go they have not
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►
empty okay of whites of anybody's I see
◼
►
no I see no sign of life there is that a
◼
►
longer than usual amount of time between
◼
►
from the first Grand Slam there was a
◼
►
Grand Slam four times a day through the
◼
►
entire Grand Slam period they were never