The Incomparable

261: Summer Superhero Spectacular: Round Three


  the incomparable number 261 artists 2015 [TS]

  welcome back everybody to be [TS]

  uncomfortable we're back for the third [TS]

  round of our a pointless [TS]

  why are we doing this superhero [TS]

  spectacular something-or-other [TS]

  tournament we've we've reduced our [TS]

  numbers 216 we're gonna go down to eight [TS]

  superheroes in this round a few changes [TS]

  have happened since the last two rounds [TS]

  first off let me introduce our two new [TS]

  judges Lisa Schmeisser has been promoted [TS]

  from advocate to judge as so often [TS]

  happens [TS]

  hi Lisa I like to think I'm failing [TS]

  upward hello yes you have worked and [TS]

  succeeded and your reward is being a [TS]

  judge in this ridiculous tournament [TS]

  likewise chip sudderth not Tony chip [TS]

  sudderth you were also a judge now [TS]

  congratulations i'm sorry i am looking [TS]

  forward to completely forgetting every [TS]

  moment of advocacy i have ever had and [TS]

  ruling a just and fair and completely [TS]

  dispassionate forget that is why you [TS]

  were elevated to the bench also joining [TS]

  us we have our we have our excellent [TS]

  advocates Monty Ashley hello your honor [TS]

  I'm just a simple country comic book- [TS]

  lawyer [TS]

  yes reference acknowledged voices to [TS]

  yawn [TS]

  hello hello you are prepared [TS]

  I briefs legal briefs I i I've got to be [TS]

  honest with you i wish i wish that i [TS]

  could say that I were and to echo my [TS]

  colleague I i feel like the the only [TS]

  thing to do is to is to call in a favor [TS]

  and have a friend a simple country [TS]

  lawyer take my place this evening if [TS]

  that's permissible it's not permissible [TS]

  limit [TS]

  well I rule against you well then I'll [TS]

  just I'll just have to muddle through [TS]

  you'll have to do it you'll have to do [TS]

  it yourself we want you feel most black [TS]

  is also out there back for more [TS]

  punishment I most I'm here to do my job [TS]

  yep i'm not gonna take this serious but [TS]

  I'm here to do the people's will all [TS]

  right and I'm very I'm fantastically [TS]

  excited about the new judge lineup [TS]

  alright well done well is your way of [TS]

  sucking up to us [TS]

  no there's no real bad now because [TS]

  passwords it's working i'm no it's not [TS]

  it's really not my type split-decision [TS]

  yeah we're back [TS]

  Jason you're gonna have to say yes I [TS]

  know something nice about the typewriter [TS]

  why don't you Tony sindelar also one of [TS]

  our advocates tonight I Tony hi jason i [TS]

  have been practicing my legal Rasul and [TS]

  my legal dazzles you know I'm ready also [TS]

  i'm prepared to cheat to win [TS]

  unlike last time i like i like the [TS]

  wrestled as a reference how could it go [TS]

  wrong [TS]

  I have a good feeling is your some of [TS]

  your some of your character something [TS]

  you can do well tonight and dan moore [TS]

  and hello dan welcome back chasing we [TS]

  have to do to get bumped up to judge [TS]

  because I'm about done with this uh well [TS]

  let's see how you do tonight [TS]

  let's say anything I I just I I sure [TS]

  hope that you don't have lose any first [TS]

  like top seeds that I think that [TS]

  unlikely [TS]

  yeah it's not gonna happen before we get [TS]

  started I work for your previous [TS]

  episodes where we picked two heroes [TS]

  against each other eventually will solve [TS]

  a problem nobody wanted solve which is [TS]

  what we'll pick a hero that won the [TS]

  tournament for some reason but to get [TS]

  there we have different rules meet [TS]

  around in this round we've asked the [TS]

  advocates to go negative and while they [TS]

  can talk about that what's great about [TS]

  their hero they should at very least [TS]

  frame it and in the context of what's [TS]

  wrong with the other guy and if they [TS]

  just want to go full-on negative and [TS]

  just completely assault the character [TS]

  that they oppose then they are [TS]

  encouraged to do that it's a it's the [TS]

  it's the negative campaigning edition of [TS]

  the superhero tournament [TS]

  let's get started with our first [TS]

  showdown it is number one iron man who [TS]

  will be represented by Dan and number 12 [TS]

  the thing who will be represented by [TS]

  Tony Tony can you give us your statement [TS]

  about the thing and more importantly [TS]

  about iron man so look the thing is a is [TS]

  a is a classic workingman superhero a [TS]

  man a super hero of the people [TS]

  Tony Stark is a drunk chauvinist [TS]

  womanizer [TS]

  he's basically the Donald Trump of the [TS]

  Avengers it literally takes a team of [TS]

  people [TS]

  like pepper and Captain America and [TS]

  Rohde sometimes even happy Hogan to [TS]

  basically keep him on track [TS]

  otherwise he's just a walking disaster [TS]

  area [TS]

  he needs a support team he's basically [TS]

  just you know sure he's done some things [TS]

  in his life but you know he would he was [TS]

  he born on third base you know sort of [TS]

  Howard Stark and it's just you know [TS]

  walking around claiming that he hit a [TS]

  home run he's not the true hero that [TS]

  that the thing is that was a really good [TS]

  baseball metaphor I think he didn't get [TS]

  it quite right but I a for effort [TS]

  Tony I was i thought we were talking [TS]

  about cricket yeah that's right well [TS]

  third-base home run [TS]

  you gotta go another base there i'm not [TS]

  sure if Tony Stark flew to the other [TS]

  base or not but that's that's fine that [TS]

  was very good [TS]

  dan you are defending iron man attacking [TS]

  the thing go ahead and deed [TS]

  well I far be it for me to disagree with [TS]

  my esteemed colleague but i must point [TS]

  out that the the thing do anything to [TS]

  become a superhero now it was purely [TS]

  accidental [TS]

  Tony Stark is a self-made man the thing [TS]

  is a rock she's just a big rock and well [TS]

  you know the the implications of being a [TS]

  blue-collar superhero are admirable i [TS]

  think that you have to look back at the [TS]

  fact and say that that the the thing Ben [TS]

  Grimm he's just he doesn't mean he [TS]

  doesn't really know what he's doing he's [TS]

  just a guy who's been giving some powers [TS]

  and doesn't really seem to have a plan [TS]

  or any sort of angle for using them i [TS]

  mean this is a guy the best slogan he [TS]

  could come up with is it's clobbering [TS]

  time [TS]

  damn when time is it it's clobbering [TS]

  time that's in our data that's not any [TS]

  that's not in any clock us unlost just [TS]

  say clobbering know any that's not gonna [TS]

  stop clock is Right twice a day but no [TS]

  dough clocks in clobbering time is this [TS]

  meeting over yet [TS]

  oh god my face in conclusion I would [TS]

  like to say that how far can you trust [TS]

  any superhero whose voice patterns are [TS]

  based on Jimmy Durante he's alright time [TS]

  to throw this to our judges Lisa you are [TS]

  the first judge on this case what are [TS]

  your thoughts [TS]

  have we ever definitively established [TS]

  the thing is in fact a pile of sentient [TS]

  rocks and if so where is you where there [TS]

  are are they made in the USA rocks are [TS]

  they [TS]

  foreign rocks are the space rocks born [TS]

  in Brooklyn born in Brooklyn em so the [TS]

  rocks remind Brooke is the thing lying [TS]

  about his origins [TS]

  I have no reason to believe that but the [TS]

  thing is never lied about anything [TS]

  he's as honest as the orange rock from [TS]

  which he is bored to tears point what [TS]

  again only I don't think that our [TS]

  exposure i love you know what what what [TS]

  are you a geologist super-g I was [TS]

  baseball geologist I think everyone is [TS]

  going somewhere this liquid that were [TS]

  asking a question you don't want to yeah [TS]

  especially about the thing I'm I i have [TS]

  more questions for the for the plate tip [TS]

  we're off to an early and early great [TS]

  earlier ailment happen again triking [TS]

  forgerock it'sit's click that Lisa would [TS]

  you like that would you like to pass and [TS]

  let your other judges under I would [TS]

  please let well now I actually preferred [TS]

  but I want to hear chip side of [TS]

  increasing free issue it because I can [TS]

  be swayed and persuasive argument [TS]

  intriguing this is a river in new ground [TS]

  here is what what what are your thoughts [TS]

  Siri what is clobbering time [TS]

  let me check on that ok i found this on [TS]

  the web for clobbering time [TS]

  serie did not give me any kind of [TS]

  indication of a specific time that [TS]

  clobbering time is I'm sorry i am i'm [TS]

  sympathetic to tony's argument against [TS]

  Iron Man as being a creature of [TS]

  privilege but dan had the gall to attack [TS]

  the thing for not being special for not [TS]

  being smart for not having agency [TS]

  ah it strikes me from hearing these [TS]

  arguments that the thing is the every [TS]

  not only the every person hero but the [TS]

  hero for the rest of us who are not very [TS]

  special i find for the thing please sir [TS]

  I have to find for something that was [TS]

  forged in Brooklyn [TS]

  I find for the thing as well I well that [TS]

  that that's its two to nothing two most [TS]

  most generic of superhero names next [TS]

  time we went over this stuff then you [TS]

  already lost just gotta let it go now [TS]

  oh no I know I can I can be bitter and [TS]

  petty after all right it's much more fun [TS]

  with so the thing moves on even though [TS]

  he wasn't actually from Brooklyn and we [TS]

  move on to our next pairing it's going [TS]

  to be Monty but you are going to be [TS]

  talking about spider-man and facing off [TS]

  against number four seed kitty pryde who [TS]

  is going to be defended by Moises s so [TS]

  moist is your the lower seat here number [TS]

  one number one versus number four I will [TS]

  let you go first to tell us what's great [TS]

  about gay pride and more important [TS]

  what's not so great about the old [TS]

  webhead well I to start off with and [TS]

  jonah Jameson ready [TS]

  is that which is wru is James and one of [TS]

  your consultants because that would be [TS]

  really smart of you to do your honor [TS]

  your honor [TS]

  I I have to be honest I i wish i wish [TS]

  that i had more terrible things to say [TS]

  about spider-man [TS]

  I wish that I did I only have a few [TS]

  dozen that that i was able to bring to [TS]

  the table this evening and now whereas [TS]

  with Kitty Pryde you have someone who [TS]

  has repeatedly constantly put themselves [TS]

  on the line but their life on the line [TS]

  and sacrificed and sacrifice and [TS]

  sacrificed time a variety of different [TS]

  costumes a variety of different aliases [TS]

  code names for the sake of the good of [TS]

  life liberty and the pursuit of justice [TS]

  that kind of stuff with spider-man [TS]

  granted he is marvel signature well he [TS]

  was Marvel signature hero until they [TS]

  recently decided that's now Iron Man so [TS]

  perhaps perhaps that demotion in and of [TS]

  itself is the beginning of an indicator [TS]

  as to where the problems the spider-man [TS]

  begin for someone who's trademark slogan [TS]

  is with great power comes great [TS]

  responsibility to be so repeatedly [TS]

  irresponsible selfish and just plain bad [TS]

  luck not only to himself but the people [TS]

  around him how howhow could [TS]

  that individual be the greatest hero to [TS]

  rise to the top of the illustrious ranks [TS]

  that we've gone through so far how could [TS]

  that individual often at the center of a [TS]

  crossover not because he's particularly [TS]

  able to stop a cosmic threat on his own [TS]

  but because g-shocks he's a great guy [TS]

  and he's the company mascot not do to [TS]

  merit no no spider-man spider-man is the [TS]

  fraternity legacy of Marvel superhero [TS]

  characters and frankly we must break [TS]

  with tradition we must say no never [TS]

  again I may just be a simple country [TS]

  comic book fan but to me spider-man is [TS]

  way too much big-city way too much [TS]

  family name as it were before actual [TS]

  achievements [TS]

  let's let's let's start listing off the [TS]

  deaths death of captain Stacy death of [TS]

  Gwen Stacy death of jean de wolf there's [TS]

  not a single good-hearted person or [TS]

  member of law enforcement they can go [TS]

  anywhere near spider-man without their [TS]

  life immediately being put at risk [TS]

  rather than feeling like they have some [TS]

  semblance of security or more than about [TS]

  a 15 issue lifespan so your honors again [TS]

  there are many great things that [TS]

  spider-man is done but really crucially [TS]

  it is the many irresponsible selfish and [TS]

  outright lamebrain things that he's done [TS]

  over the years that has me asking that [TS]

  you must find in favor of Kitty Pryde [TS]

  who would who would sail across the [TS]

  galaxy invisible inside of a giant [TS]

  bullet before she would think of herself [TS]

  what is a true hero is up to you to [TS]

  decide to decide my dear judges I rest [TS]

  my case [TS]

  right that was that had more endings in [TS]

  the lord of the rings but thank you my [TS]

  success we just like most spider-man [TS]

  crossover events we move on to monsey [TS]

  level a stick their his last name you [TS]

  feeling our family legacy dash man yeah [TS]

  a land is honorable tradition i think [TS]

  you'll agree yes indeed I implore you [TS]

  are a lot of all Spider Man huh [TS]

  tell us tell us your story [TS]

  naughty kitty pryde is an intangible [TS]

  teenage girl with a pet dragon is [TS]

  sometimes known as Ariel [TS]

  sprite or Shadowcat depending on whether [TS]

  the current writer can keep a straight [TS]

  face about it according to wikipedia [TS]

  she's soon going to add star lady to [TS]

  that roster of random names nobody ever [TS]

  calls her she mostly exists to look on [TS]

  goggle eyed as truly heroic characters [TS]

  do all the work when you can phase out [TS]

  of physical reality you're never in any [TS]

  physical danger her stories don't have [TS]

  any snakes she's cute she's fun but [TS]

  she's not heroic enough to make it past [TS]

  this round if you want a teenager who [TS]

  actually grapples with problems and put [TS]

  himself on the line to save the world [TS]

  over and over again [TS]

  you gotta go spider-man I rest my case [TS]

  well those were very powerful arguments [TS]

  we're going to move to judge chip [TS]

  judgeship what do you think star lady [TS]

  yes our lady is joining the guardians of [TS]

  the galaxy star lady it's like star-lord [TS]

  but yeah you're never gonna believe this [TS]

  they found ways and nowhere else [TS]

  thursdays i wasn't aware there's a star [TS]

  parentage is they're also going to start [TS]

  early star count to start campus star by [TS]

  him [TS]

  well it gets confusing because there are [TS]

  the space where the space nights you see [TS]

  some other space Dame's with the space [TS]

  nights possible go ahead and hold it [TS]

  against kitty pryde that her only [TS]

  choices are a bunch of dopey doot [TS]

  I gotta get him thrown into the digital [TS]

  chip let's say you um I advocate voices [TS]

  were you aware you can you use you spoke [TS]

  of spider-man as the fraternity legacy [TS]

  of Marvel superhero characters i don't [TS]

  suppose you are aware that this justice [TS]

  was a member of the five new Alpha [TS]

  Sinfonia music fraternity in college at [TS]

  the Larry Sanders is slander this [TS]

  slander against a hallowed institution [TS]

  forces meet find in favor of spider-man [TS]

  wow well again sometimes you need to do [TS]

  your research about your judges i will [TS]

  is fair and impartial decision it's [TS]

  moved to Lisa [TS]

  completely dispassionate to I enjoyed [TS]

  the focus nastiness of advocate Monty's [TS]

  of assault and so I find for spider-man [TS]

  wow I think you should I think you [TS]

  should award reward both brevity and [TS]

  brutality [TS]

  yep yeni pride undone by a male hero yet [TS]

  again no save it she's got terrible [TS]

  taste in men have to say this was a yes [TS]

  dentistry this is a yeah this is a tough [TS]

  one for me because I want both those [TS]

  characters but spider-man moves on [TS]

  unanimously our judges have are in sync [TS]

  at the moment we're gonna move on with [TS]

  impeccable legal reason absolutely i [TS]

  have no these are not coming back on [TS]

  review because there is no review but [TS]

  still they're not coming back [TS]

  we're going to imagine see British and [TS]

  shorts life its legal decision mister [TS]

  mister mister uh advocate moist rihanna [TS]

  is going to advocate now for the Hulk [TS]

  against Barry Allen the flash em as [TS]

  advocated by moze moze you get to go [TS]

  first [TS]

  well my talking about the Hulk [TS]

  I mean the Hulk I mean basically look [TS]

  he's green peas lean well not so lean [TS]

  he's actually kind of a big buff [TS]

  whatever he is gamma radiation filled [TS]

  human being but at the end of the day [TS]

  what is he really [TS]

  dr. Jekyll mr. Hyde are all our [TS]

  superheroes [TS]

  basically balancing between those two [TS]

  things so what makes the whole so [TS]

  special [TS]

  I'll tell you Andy anak oh he's not [TS]

  he's a wanton garbage filled you know [TS]

  basically completely invulnerable [TS]

  ah bastion of destruction [TS]

  who cares it's dumb [TS]

  he had Bruce Banner you can talk so much [TS]

  about science and and how cool this guy [TS]

  is how smart he is at the end of the day [TS]

  who cares because all everybody looks as [TS]

  the whole all he does is come on thru [TS]

  break some doors break some buildings [TS]

  break this that and the other [TS]

  is that really what we want from a hero [TS]

  in fact i would tell you that he's not a [TS]

  hero planet hulk who cares it's not this [TS]

  world i mean at the end of the day what [TS]

  he does here destroys humanity at the [TS]

  end of the day [TS]

  stumm but what does he contribute [TS]

  ok at the end of the day he's completely [TS]

  invulnerable [TS]

  what [TS]

  that's crazy when you look at the wide [TS]

  array of heroes out there and the Hulk [TS]

  is the top end of the chain [TS]

  he can't be beat puny God garbage mark [TS]

  ruffalo garbage [TS]

  oh wow it's all over are you serious are [TS]

  you serious [TS]

  judges well please listen [TS]

  is the whole really a hero just because [TS]

  you so invulnerable [TS]

  I mean really purple shorts and [TS]

  vulnerable [TS]

  I rest my case I had that the this that [TS]

  is a fascinatingly dismissive argument [TS]

  which I kind of enjoy voice it's your [TS]

  turn to reply with in favor of the whole [TS]

  game against the flash [TS]

  I hold no ill will toward the flash I [TS]

  have to be honest I can't say that I [TS]

  hate the flash I cannot stand here [TS]

  before you judges and say the flash is [TS]

  terrible the flashes a pile of garbage [TS]

  and absolutely in essential to comic [TS]

  book lord I can't do that i just i can't [TS]

  do that because I have too much respect [TS]

  for these legendary characters I i wish [TS]

  my colleague on the other side of the [TS]

  courtroom were so respectful but alas it [TS]

  were not to be the hulk single-handedly [TS]

  was responsible to me and to many for [TS]

  turning around the notion of the Marvel [TS]

  crossover which of course got undone [TS]

  relatively quickly thereafter with with [TS]

  the planet hulk leading into world war [TS]

  hulk making the Marvel Universe world of [TS]

  crossing over their characters actually [TS]

  interesting for once and not just a [TS]

  rehash of house event for the thousandth [TS]

  time one of the things that is most [TS]

  beloved about the Hulk is exactly what [TS]

  my opponent here tells you is so [TS]

  terrible about him which is his duality [TS]

  of self duality of purpose his confusion [TS]

  as to what direction his life is going [TS]

  in fact he carries a very heavy load so [TS]

  I I again i'm so i'm so sad that that I [TS]

  am across the aisle from an opponent who [TS]

  seems to devalue comic book characters [TS]

  so fundamentally especially their [TS]

  portrayal as done by wonderful actors [TS]

  like Mark Ruffalo now turning to the [TS]

  flash if we're really looking at [TS]

  fundamentally the person to be the top [TS]

  of the superhero pile do we want that to [TS]

  be a hero who's very super power can [TS]

  result in rewriting and unwinding and [TS]

  erasing comic-book continuity and [TS]

  resulting in a version of various [TS]

  characters across an entire multiverse [TS]

  that nobody really likes be honest [TS]

  was the new 52 just the bee's knees for [TS]

  everybody or it wasn't just me who found [TS]

  Batman and Green Lantern were two of a [TS]

  few books that was really still worth [TS]

  reading after the flash flash pointed [TS]

  all over DC how can we allow that to be [TS]

  the title signature hero of this [TS]

  competition how can we allow such a [TS]

  thing and perhaps a minor note but just [TS]

  speaking to greater world progress peace [TS]

  happiness around the globe with how much [TS]

  Barry Allen has to eat did his Malibu [TS]

  and metabolic rate judges i would say [TS]

  that we must eliminate him from this [TS]

  competition because if he were the last [TS]

  hero left on earth he would eat the [TS]

  earth out of sustainable vegetation meet [TS]

  a consumable food in and of itself the [TS]

  flash if we take both of these [TS]

  characters to the end of time the flash [TS]

  is the one that is going to either [TS]

  destroy the universe as it is or eat it [TS]

  I rest my case alright interesting [TS]

  arguments there got a little ecological [TS]

  at the end i I'm find that fascinating [TS]

  let's move to Lisa what are your [TS]

  thoughts about this case so what I'm [TS]

  hearing is that the whole could destroy [TS]

  the planet simply by having a temper [TS]

  tantrum whereas the flash could destroy [TS]

  the planet simply by having too many [TS]

  tacos this is this correct both [TS]

  advocates correct i would say that i [TS]

  would say that the flash is capable of [TS]

  of depleting the planet of consumable [TS]

  resources could he then run back in time [TS]

  and change things so that there are more [TS]

  tacos for him [TS]

  do we really have to remove that [TS]

  narrative your Your Honor I call paradox [TS]

  taco paradoxian my travelpod open source [TS]

  is paradoxical time so we have the app [TS]

  so on the one hand as a judge's is a [TS]

  difficult decision to render because on [TS]

  the one hand we do have a hero who is [TS]

  capable of altering the very fabric of [TS]

  space and time for narrative convenience [TS]

  on the other hand we have a superhero [TS]

  who is so potent and so powerful that [TS]

  several of his other fellow powerful [TS]

  superheroes got together a super-secret [TS]

  brainy cabal sent into another planet [TS]

  which he then conquered [TS]

  rules like a god and then came back to [TS]

  earth of the grudge [TS]

  these two are fairly evenly matched and [TS]

  a less impartial judge would immediately [TS]

  vote for the flash because she did not [TS]

  appreciate the ding against Mark Ruffalo [TS]

  who has single-handedly redeemed the [TS]

  Hulk in Marvel Cinematic Universe i [TS]

  would argue however in this case i'm [TS]

  finding for the most powerful and potent [TS]

  superhero and I find for the one that [TS]

  can bend the fabric of space and time I [TS]

  find the flash like you're on all right [TS]

  chip what say you I appreciated the [TS]

  interpretive jiggery-pokery of Moses [TS]

  arguments [TS]

  however when Moises mentioned that the [TS]

  flash flash pointed all over DC which [TS]

  sounded faintly scatological he brought [TS]

  to mind how much I hated the new 52 and [TS]

  it really is the flashes fault i find [TS]

  for the whole oh is this is a split [TS]

  decision and that means that leaves it [TS]

  for me your humble bailiff I don't think [TS]

  that's how it works and host in my [TS]

  memories like court to that's right to [TS]

  break the tie I as as the arguments are [TS]

  going on I i SAT and thought a lot about [TS]

  what would happen if this came up and it [TS]

  was a tie [TS]

  I'm a Marvel marvel kidd [TS]

  through-and-through always look Marshall [TS]

  I love the Hulk love the bill bixby Hulk [TS]

  loved uh loved the break pack planet [TS]

  hulk so the fact that despite all of [TS]

  that I have great feelings toward Barry [TS]

  Allen and the flash and feel that he is [TS]

  in fact the DC Comics character that I [TS]

  kind of like the most [TS]

  I real for the flash the flash moves on [TS]

  yeah that's how that feels exciting to [TS]

  look and rerouted my remote [TS]

  easy there Joe Biden this result can be [TS]

  rewritten by the reality in mere minutes [TS]

  a little flash does need to reread it [TS]

  because he won yeah he's had perhaps you [TS]

  won't get lost when previous we never [TS]

  said if you would like to be on reviews [TS]

  and I'll i am i holding these tacos [TS]

  that's what let's move on [TS]

  here is our matchup between number two [TS]

  seed Wolverine as argued by Morris s and [TS]

  number six [TS]

  Rorschach from watchmen as argued by [TS]

  moze moze you are the underdog so why [TS]

  don't you go first [TS]

  this happens to be probably the single [TS]

  most worst character in the comic book [TS]

  universe [TS]

  why you ask well Deadpool is gone [TS]

  already so well the only event [TS]

  be careful be careful what we wish for [TS]

  because we wished for a amazingly [TS]

  ridiculously haired and by the way his [TS]

  hair matches his costume which is stupid [TS]

  and he has a unbreakable [TS]

  Oh bone structure that's kind of let's [TS]

  just say ridiculous now at the end of [TS]

  the day lets his strategy run-and-gun [TS]

  and / and kill and sniffed and sniffed [TS]

  and snikt but recently full-frame lost [TS]

  his healing factor so what does he [TS]

  really have nothing [TS]

  unbreakable bones I mean look the the [TS]

  Hulk that guy that other that green guy [TS]

  ripped him apart [TS]

  completely in half for two-and-a-half [TS]

  years is that really a hero that gets [TS]

  ripped in half and just live to tell [TS]

  about it [TS]

  in fact i will go so far as to say um I [TS]

  know I'm on treading on thin ground here [TS]

  but [TS]

  a guy named Spock gave him the Klingon [TS]

  death grip whatever that's called you [TS]

  know what's called the you know that [TS]

  love Vulcan death grip and knocked him [TS]

  out so happily invulnerable is this guy [TS]

  and I will go so far as the same look [TS]

  popsicle oh yeah popsicle the brand they [TS]

  made x-men popsicles with in the shape [TS]

  of Wolverines haircut that again [TS]

  conforms to his um yeah his his costume [TS]

  which is stupid [TS]

  really it's stupid and we couldn't even [TS]

  get it straight that this guy had to [TS]

  have english put on his little of what [TS]

  are those claws and then they turn them [TS]

  into bone because who wait a minute it's [TS]

  got to be genetic it's gotta be mutation [TS]

  it can't be it can't be something else [TS]

  look this guy has been literally put [TS]

  everywhere and anywhere as the character [TS]

  who's so invulnerable that we all should [TS]

  care about his dumb and you know he is [TS]

  and when you really look at him is [TS]

  I rest my case alright the popsicle [TS]

  defense comes out at last voice s please [TS]

  tell us why were in this great and [TS]

  Rorschach is not well I your honors I [TS]

  have to say the the the charges leveled [TS]

  against Wolverine are really the [TS]

  foundation of a fantastic thesis on why [TS]

  he is one of the greatest comic book [TS]

  heroes of all time and frankly there's [TS]

  much more depth and levels of intrigue [TS]

  to be had in stories told about this [TS]

  character than the Rorschach what other [TS]

  stories are you going to tell with war [TS]

  Shaq Shaq is great in watchmen [TS]

  watchman's a great piece of fiction i [TS]

  will I I cannot argue that I cannot [TS]

  argue that I can't say that's a bad [TS]

  thing [TS]

  what doesn't make any sense to me is how [TS]

  he fits into any of the of the broader [TS]

  mythic landscape of superhero narrative [TS]

  since there was never any sort of a [TS]

  prequel or sequel to watchman that i [TS]

  know of at least I don't know how [TS]

  Rorschach fits in anything else and not [TS]

  to to to throw politics into this but [TS]

  Rorschach is also the only character on [TS]

  this entire roster that's openly [TS]

  endorsed by a political candidate Ted [TS]

  Cruz and regardless of what you think of [TS]

  my fellow Texan and fellow Cuban [TS]

  American and fellow not much else [TS]

  Ted Cruz the endorsement of political [TS]

  figure immediately makes me suspect of [TS]

  any comic book character [TS]

  well what are we going to do next pay [TS]

  attention to who you know Lex Luthor [TS]

  endorses forehead of the Justice League [TS]

  i I just I don't see how considering the [TS]

  the litany of better qualities that [TS]

  Wolverine has going for him at an [TS]

  exponential rate that anyone could [TS]

  possibly find for Shaq for me it's it's [TS]

  the most lopsided battle that there is [TS]

  and and frankly not for effect but [TS]

  simply because i'm in all I am I am [TS]

  absolutely abject Lee in all of how much [TS]

  better job than i did that my opponent [TS]

  did in in defending Wolverine I i would [TS]

  have to say that you have to listen to [TS]

  my opponent and find for Wolverine [TS]

  Yorkers fascinating I'll let's go to [TS]

  chip with his verdict intrigue arguments [TS]

  on both sides I [TS]

  iddi I detect a startled assets subtle [TS]

  commonality of approach with advocate [TS]

  Mo's are whose exponents are [TS]

  ridiculously stupid it's dumb i think [TS]

  was a strong argument i'd like to see [TS]

  the site legal citations for it's dumb [TS]

  but it did sound good [TS]

  I i can't i can't endorse Wolverines [TS]

  Erica in any way but popsicles popsicles [TS]

  are kind of neat actually they're tasty [TS]

  they're there they're cheap they're [TS]

  there they're flavorful [TS]

  I like to just like wolverine cheap and [TS]

  flavorful and endorsement by Ted Cruz I [TS]

  don't want to get political but that's [TS]

  that's that that's pure applesauce arm i [TS]

  find for Wolverine interesting that the [TS]

  vote for the big sideburns let's move on [TS]

  to Lisa I really don't think we should [TS]

  spend our time focusing on how these [TS]

  characters look because that's an [TS]

  enormous your owner is normative yeah [TS]

  it's just a limiting and we've all had [TS]

  bad hair days it's it's not the fault of [TS]

  wolverine that he's had a bad hair life [TS]

  he said long and eventful life filled [TS]

  with stupid episodes like ninja [TS]

  badassery and fighting in myth admiss [TS]

  terious wars and so on and so forth [TS]

  however bacon presumably Korshak really [TS]

  smells bad by the way so no the one [TS]

  argument that his sweetie however is a [TS]

  one that was pointed out which is that [TS]

  war shocks value as a character rest [TS]

  precisely in his limited deployment you [TS]

  really can't spin off the adventures of [TS]

  Rorschach requires a japanese wife and [TS]

  teaches kitty pryde how to be a samurai [TS]

  Rorschach is never going to background a [TS]

  shopping mall with Jubilee and be her [TS]

  sidekick on her many adventures were [TS]

  shocked is a genuine loner so that [TS]

  sharply reduces the odds that he'll join [TS]

  eight different teams in the Marvel [TS]

  Universe and insist on all of them that [TS]

  he's a loner Rorschach is never going to [TS]

  do the cannibal special [TS]

  the thing that makes him such a great [TS]

  character makes him a limited hero [TS]

  because he exists in one roll only and [TS]

  that is at and that is to be [TS]

  uncompromising principal and as if we [TS]

  see at the end of the watchman [TS]

  uncompromising principles of course [TS]

  destroyed i find for Wolverine for pure [TS]

  narrative entertainment [TS]

  alright Wolverine advances to the next [TS]

  round [TS]

  good arguments all right we're going to [TS]

  move onto a marquee matchup number one [TS]

  seed Superman has argued by Monty [TS]

  against number five seed Doctor Strange [TS]

  shoes advocate is dan dan you're the [TS]

  lower seed please tell us why is my [TS]

  doctor Strange's good friend Superman is [TS]

  bad respected judges are i would like to [TS]

  enter the following facts into evidence [TS]

  Superman not a doctor as far as i can [TS]

  tell you know postgraduate degrees of [TS]

  any kind that's just kind of a big lunk [TS]

  head who seems to fly around and [TS]

  strangely it's really a saver America [TS]

  like you Justina he's got that whole [TS]

  American thing going on which i guess is [TS]

  great and all but at the same time hehe [TS]

  comes off a little too potentially you [TS]

  know right wing / fascist for me so I'm [TS]

  a little concerned about that item [TS]

  evidence number two Superman does not [TS]

  have an awesome mustache and I think not [TS]

  undervalue that that lack of of awesome [TS]

  facial hair is really just going to hold [TS]

  them back i mean there's no place to go [TS]

  this is a guy who could desperately use [TS]

  some facial hair because he needs to [TS]

  maintain a secret identity and instead [TS]

  he just puts on a pair of glasses so [TS]

  clearly not the sharpest tool in the [TS]

  shed to begin with the item number three [TS]

  superman also not a sorcerer i think [TS]

  that is worth pointing out that you know [TS]

  there is there are those who have [TS]

  mastered the magical arts and those who [TS]

  are just kind of big strong guys you fly [TS]

  around a lot [TS]

  and my final piece of evidence i would [TS]

  like to point out that he is also [TS]

  allergic to rocks and that is just like [TS]

  the worst weakness ever I mean clearly [TS]

  if the thing went up against Superman [TS]

  then Scooby hollow-point so in the end [TS]

  I'm and strong but no all right Monty [TS]

  it's time for your report [TS]

  Doctor Strange is not a superhero [TS]

  he's a magician he should restrict [TS]

  himself to guessing what coward you're [TS]

  thinking of now I realize that techno [TS]

  he's a wizard or sorcerer not a common [TS]

  street or stage magician but what does [TS]

  that mean that means he should be [TS]

  hanging out in the Shire not in comic [TS]

  books also he's going to be played by [TS]

  Benedict Cumberbatch in the upcoming [TS]

  movie which means you're already sick of [TS]

  it before it even comes out and finally [TS]

  know how quickly finally comes name [TS]

  Doctor Strange is the laziest comic-book [TS]

  moniker since mr. fantastic I rest my [TS]

  case [TS]

  oh nice a lot love a short but sweet [TS]

  arguments there [TS]

  let's go to Lisa for her thoughts on the [TS]

  verdict I i think one of the unfortunate [TS]

  side effects of having a lengthy public [TS]

  record is that my disdain for mr. [TS]

  fantastic is well known and I worry that [TS]

  it is a an attempt to bias me doing the [TS]

  doctor strange to be fair is his name [TS]

  his name is Stephen strange we have [TS]

  Richards name is not fantastic this is [TS]

  also true [TS]

  and here are no medical doctor and I [TS]

  believe so i think it was changed from [TS]

  strange kowski was originally published [TS]

  he was going to be this is true he was [TS]

  going to be mr. straight until Stanley [TS]

  decided that was too much like mr. [TS]

  fantastic [TS]

  so rather than come up with a better [TS]

  kind of day we just had been making in [TS]

  spent six years in strange magical [TS]

  medical school to be called mr. street [TS]

  actually I believe the doctor Strange's [TS]

  origins are such where he was a [TS]

  hoity-toity surgeon who have [TS]

  time for anything until he was in a car [TS]

  accident lost the ability to operate [TS]

  right and then was desperate to regain [TS]

  it and so he embarked on mystical path [TS]

  and kinda got distracted by that was [TS]

  already pre love kind of things it was [TS]

  it was and the problem is in a trail of [TS]

  Dormammu yes and the promises now that [TS]

  you put it that way I'm almost empty [TS]

  I'm almost tempted to vote for him just [TS]

  because a superhero with eat pray love [TS]

  is an origin story is a refreshing [TS]

  addition to almost any any any Hall of [TS]

  my T's I think that's iron fist actually [TS]

  i also have to give special attention to [TS]

  the antiserum and forces because they're [TS]

  five arguments were both compelling and [TS]

  factually true again my love of Superman [TS]

  is well-documented I think he represents [TS]

  a lot of the best of both the DC [TS]

  Universe and and the best of what we can [TS]

  strive for us human beings [TS]

  however the case against him was [TS]

  skillfully constructed and I desperately [TS]

  want to see eat pray love make it to the [TS]

  finals so I'm finding for dr. strange [TS]

  child big big moment here potentially [TS]

  chip what are your thoughts Superman and [TS]

  dr. strange well you would think the [TS]

  answer would be obvious [TS]

  thank you your honor dan has dan has put [TS]

  together a skillful argument i concur [TS]

  with uh with judge miser on that point [TS]

  are even on top of that Superman both [TS]

  pre-crisis and after the crisis was [TS]

  frequently written as vulnerable to [TS]

  magic [TS]

  so you think that dr. strange would [TS]

  actually just snap his fingers and [TS]

  Superman would vanish in a puff of logic [TS]

  but Monty reminded us that dr. strange [TS]

  will be played by Benedict Cumberbatch [TS]

  who my wife thinks is hot i find for [TS]

  Superman that throws it to me again [TS]

  mhm i have no great love for dr. strange [TS]

  or more magician superheroes in general [TS]

  but I i am going to cite an argument [TS]

  made earlier bye-bye advocate mo is in a [TS]

  different context here which is Superman [TS]

  he's dumb he's [TS]

  boring i rule for Doctor Strange slow [TS]

  Your Honor I think you did a great thing [TS]

  for all mankind I already said I like [TS]

  the flash better than other DC heroes [TS]

  this this is a night a night full of [TS]

  upset mmm yes it's very exciting [TS]

  compaq yes and Monty you might be quite [TS]

  right to point out that was the you [TS]

  complete you play the dumb name card how [TS]

  are you doing for Superman [TS]

  hey they started with a draft of strong [TS]

  guy and had to work their way on here [TS]

  you know attention and strong guy was an [TS]

  improvement on car lifter amazing [TS]

  amazing things are happening again which [TS]

  is just a guy named Jack Tony yeah lot [TS]

  of lifting a lot of writing work there [TS]

  so all right let's move on to a matchup [TS]

  it is number two seed captain america [TS]

  who is going to be champion by Monty vs. [TS]

  a number 11 seed beta ray bill who's [TS]

  going to be championed by moes yeah [TS]

  that's right it's worth or I hope chip [TS]

  can Kenda view this without recusing [TS]

  himself Mo's you get to argue for a big [TS]

  underdog beta ray bill and against [TS]

  Captain America [TS]

  why do you hate America go ahead well I [TS]

  mean you kind of set things American I [TS]

  mean it's done lightly it's true for me [TS]

  but I'm willing to come out of that [TS]

  because you don't if funny thing you [TS]

  mentioned i just recently watched age of [TS]

  Ultron and there was a man named vision [TS]

  who picked up the Thor's hammer which [TS]

  seemed to be pretty a pretty big deal [TS]

  and the whole thing there's only one of [TS]

  the person in fact vision is never [TS]

  actually done that that was movie [TS]

  stuffed will call that there's only one [TS]

  other person that as a person alien a [TS]

  beta ray bill who who was i quote worthy [TS]

  to hold [TS]

  Thor's hammer [TS]

  and odin was the one who kind of team [TS]

  that now we're dealing with God's [TS]

  mysteries and things that nature at its [TS]

  funny [TS]

  there was another uh situation in the [TS]

  age of Ultron you know everybody had [TS]

  sins or things that they were afraid of [TS]

  but this guy captain america [TS]

  it's very interesting to me because he [TS]

  didn't have in fact he only wanted to do [TS]

  is dance with his girl I find that very [TS]

  interesting that a guy a mortal man if [TS]

  you will and without kind of throwing [TS]

  too much religion into the whole mix [TS]

  seems to have no sins [TS]

  there was only one guy that I've I'm [TS]

  aware of that never had that but he was [TS]

  rings can I crawled my apologize i think [TS]

  that's a really are Jesus and Reed [TS]

  Richards mixed up again I'm sorry that's [TS]

  right that's what you're going to see [TS]

  how that might happen Richard himself [TS]

  until it happens all the time [TS]

  absolutely and in fact I would say that [TS]

  Captain America I look at this nation [TS]

  and I say to myself [TS]

  twenty percent Donald Trump well you [TS]

  know you know captain america did a [TS]

  great thing back in the day I mean look [TS]

  in fact we're all believe that he killed [TS]

  Hitler what you really done for us [TS]

  lately [TS]

  capitalism is that really what were [TS]

  striving for and that's really against [TS]

  the people cap or you really for [TS]

  I rest my case interesting intriguing [TS]

  question we're gonna leave it out there [TS]

  Monty what do you say well your honor [TS]

  you and honor are you just a bailiff I [TS]

  am I am as poetry bail I as host I am [TS]

  honorable to an extent it can ask the [TS]

  bailiff to describe the contents of the [TS]

  jpeg that I just entered into the record [TS]

  yes so i can describe this for the [TS]

  listeners who cannot check in the show [TS]

  notes for this excellent piece of work [TS]

  it is Captain America holding Thor's [TS]

  hammer above his head shouting Avengers [TS]

  Assemble while being looked upon by [TS]

  passers-by and heroes who are nearby as [TS]

  well as apparently he's about to be [TS]

  attacked by Nazi robots [TS]

  thank you i checked i have checked on [TS]

  whether this is well there have been [TS]

  many inches and its role in the [TS]

  background and just now you're gonna [TS]

  bring that up [TS]

  well well you have had time to do your [TS]

  research you said that only one person [TS]

  has been able to lift Thor's hammer and [TS]

  I just wanted to put on the record the [TS]

  fact that captain america has in fact [TS]

  with to Thor's hammer twice and [TS]

  continuity but that is not the essence [TS]

  of my argument the essence of my [TS]

  argument as I consider captain america [TS]

  beyond reproach will focus on my honored [TS]

  opponent beta ray bill is basically [TS]

  defined by being almost as good as Thor [TS]

  it [TS]

  he's like a substituted ingredient in a [TS]

  recipe if you don't have Thor you can [TS]

  use beta ray bill and you can put them [TS]

  out below they're saying it'll basically [TS]

  be fine [TS]

  he's nearly Thor he's liam hemsworth oh [TS]

  zing is not terrible but his first name [TS]

  is literally beta the novelty of being a [TS]

  hammer-wielding space horse can take you [TS]

  only so far [TS]

  and honorable judges i submit that this [TS]

  round is where beta ray bills journey [TS]

  has to end [TS]

  thank you for your time alright we are [TS]

  going to start with Lisa here [TS]

  well i'll keep this very very very brief [TS]

  in terms of who ranks above whom in the [TS]

  comic index there is a beta ray bill who [TS]

  again has the head of a horse i also [TS]

  want to draw his attention to Bill known [TS]

  as Starfighter in the wonderful comic [TS]

  god hates astronauts who has the head of [TS]

  a supernatural cow so even in the genre [TS]

  of butt-kicking superheroes with the [TS]

  head of livestock beta ray bill doesn't [TS]

  match how you doing bill [TS]

  yes named Bill get it i want i want to [TS]

  add to we're not quite two three because [TS]

  R cubed through hands-on with to you [TS]

  merely have two examples but but even in [TS]

  this contest battery bill losses also [TS]

  you can't argue with the dude is [TS]

  wielding a hammer and fighting not zero [TS]

  but at the same time I find for Captain [TS]

  America chip unfamiliar as i am with [TS]

  beta ray bill it would take a while to [TS]

  get to catch you up [TS]

  i think the the phrase his first name is [TS]

  literally beta is one of the most [TS]

  masterful things I have ever heard on a [TS]

  podcast haha I you know after after he [TS]

  after hearing that any other words no [TS]

  longer have meaning i can't rule against [TS]

  Captain America I would be ruling [TS]

  against myself chip is Captain America [TS]

  ok yes the mirrorless Marlys alright so [TS]

  I'm hearing a two-nothing verdict for [TS]

  Captain America what the lesson we [TS]

  learned here is being not as boring as [TS]

  Thor can only go so far and this is the [TS]

  point where beta ray bill gets off the [TS]

  the treadmill but well well flat or [TS]

  store well-fought let us move on to our [TS]

  next round it is going to be number two [TS]

  seed Wonder Woman versus number six seed [TS]

  Barbara Gordon known as bad girl and [TS]

  oracle tony is the advocate for wonder [TS]

  woman hello [TS]

  what do I need to say to ask any [TS]

  questions of the judges about whether [TS]

  they need to with it whether they can be [TS]

  impartial in this situation I would [TS]

  actually turkeys myself from this really [TS]

  wow GG quick about it [TS]

  that is a lot i'll allow it all out i [TS]

  have i have a tiebreaking i have a [TS]

  tiebreaking system in place should [TS]

  should it's a coin it's a client is [TS]

  judging excuse themselves ship and I [TS]

  disagree your honor how can we have [TS]

  wonder woman vs. Batgirl and have the [TS]

  only woman on the panel not participate [TS]

  this whole trial is a farce [TS]

  i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i-i actually perhaps [TS]

  you can't choose between them [TS]

  I is Lisa if you which if you choose to [TS]

  abstain how about this i would like you [TS]

  to make a statement at the end and then [TS]

  if you choose to abstain then you may do [TS]

  so [TS]

  alright alright alright so Monty you are [TS]

  going for Barbara Gordon Tony you're [TS]

  arguing for Wonder Woman Monty Barbara [TS]

  Gordon's the number six seed one number [TS]

  two so you were the underdog you may go [TS]

  first all right now it should go without [TS]

  saying that i have nothing but the [TS]

  utmost respect for his woman I believe [TS]

  that she was a princess surf sometimes [TS]

  she's a princess [TS]

  sometimes she's a goddess sometimes [TS]

  she's been literally molded out of clay [TS]

  the thing is one woman's background is [TS]

  constantly changing to the point where [TS]

  she's not the same character as she was [TS]

  when she was first created and that's [TS]

  good because i'm going to put this [TS]

  delicately Wonder Woman's early comic [TS]

  books are kind of not for kids they were [TS]

  created by a world class weirdo who's [TS]

  personal obsessions are right there on [TS]

  every single page and they say that [TS]

  Wonder Woman is one of the three pillars [TS]

  of DC Comics you got Superman Batman and [TS]

  Wonder Woman but the Wonder Woman we [TS]

  have now they have carefully removed all [TS]

  of the goofy nonsense that she used to [TS]

  have [TS]

  she's not from Paradise Island anymore [TS]

  she's from the mascara her bracelets i'm [TS]

  pretty sure are not made of a metal [TS]

  called feminine um [TS]

  anymore but that at least I hope they're [TS]

  not if it thinks it is also from [TS]

  Amazonia at one point hmm wonder woman [TS]

  although she has put forth as a good [TS]

  role model for young girls [TS]

  he really isn't not like Barbara Gordon [TS]

  the butt-kicking librarian and finally i [TS]

  will remind the judges that yvonne craig [TS]

  passed away very recently and a lovely [TS]

  way to honor her memory would be to [TS]

  honor that girl / oracle / Barbara [TS]

  Gordon and put her through the next [TS]

  round [TS]

  thanks pulling out all the stops and [TS]

  there will be wine that's how i got Tony [TS]

  it's your turn my opponent has already [TS]

  pointed out that Wonder Woman is is part [TS]

  of the Holy Trinity that you know has [TS]

  guided comics to where they are today [TS]

  you know that girl has done a lot of a [TS]

  lot of good work for the bat [TS]

  Organization and I don't want to [TS]

  underplay that but you know I she [TS]

  probably only got that job because of [TS]

  her dad is you know there's some [TS]

  nepotism at work there this may not have [TS]

  been the most qualified candidate for [TS]

  that position and you know sometimes the [TS]

  bat bureaucracy just keeps expanding and [TS]

  there's back jobs and you you take on [TS]

  who you need and it's you know it's kind [TS]

  of the peter principle at work here also [TS]

  you know I i think that the the recent [TS]

  versions of a batgirl are actually has [TS]

  become somewhat of a ridiculous hipster [TS]

  that makes even me feel too old to be [TS]

  reading those comics you know she's done [TS]

  a lot of good good work for the the bat [TS]

  agency over the years but i think [TS]

  perhaps it you know she should take some [TS]

  time off from superheroing and focus on [TS]

  her studies [TS]

  the end the end thank you okay well i'm [TS]

  gonna go to chip for his his thoughts [TS]

  and ruling yvonne craig was a lovely [TS]

  woman [TS]

  yvonne craig brought spandex to Batman [TS]

  the the Batman TV show in and in [TS]

  appealing in an appealing way how can i [TS]

  how can i turn my back on Monty's [TS]

  stirring recollections of her gifts and [TS]

  talents and her memory by voting for [TS]

  Wonder Woman pretty easily over Wonder [TS]

  Woman alright Lisa what are your [TS]

  thoughts [TS]

  like I said I'm recusing myself from [TS]

  this one the reason being that I am an [TS]

  unapologetic and unashamed Barbara [TS]

  Gordon / oracle fangirl and I don't [TS]

  trust myself to be impartial on this [TS]

  issue i have past history with oracle [TS]

  advocate Gail Simone's wonderful [TS]

  rehabilitation of the character and the [TS]

  birds of prey series that every thought [TS]

  every opportunity and do this lengthy [TS]

  history i cannot issue a ruling in this [TS]

  case [TS]

  well this is a very difficult one for me [TS]

  as well I i am married to a librarian my [TS]

  wife also was a childhood fan of of [TS]

  Wonder Woman and we have Wonder Woman [TS]

  memorabilia in the house so how to [TS]

  choose between these two characters i [TS]

  don't know this is this is the most [TS]

  supremely difficult battle i think that [TS]

  that we're going to face I in the end i [TS]

  think i have to rule over this way yes [TS]

  Wonder Woman's history is a is peculiar [TS]

  although her her creator is I think I [TS]

  wouldn't get too judgmental about her [TS]

  creator he was certainly lead an [TS]

  interesting life but he created a [TS]

  character that has resonated for years [TS]

  in many different guises what what is to [TS]

  be said for Batgirl [TS]

  and oracle for Barbara Gordon is [TS]

  somebody who is introduced as the kid [TS]

  sidekick and the girl sidekick which is [TS]

  not necessarily a position of strength [TS]

  has it she has been transmogrified into [TS]

  something bigger and better showing the [TS]

  versatility of the writers and I think [TS]

  that's to be commended [TS]

  but in the end I like chip i think i [TS]

  have to lean ever so slightly toward [TS]

  Wonder Woman for being uh more fully [TS]

  formed from the beginning and and sadly [TS]

  have to say that Barbara Gordon has [TS]

  passed as far as she can go so wonder [TS]

  woman moves on to the next round [TS]

  just justice is difficult work it is [TS]

  difficult that was a tough one I [TS]

  actually was sending instant messages to [TS]

  Lauren that entire time saying please [TS]

  choose one for me and she's smart [TS]

  well because Babs is a library Babs is a [TS]

  librarian and there's that there's not [TS]

  tied to it and you know my own daughter [TS]

  has a has a set of boredom and pajamas [TS]

  that she absolutely adores and to be [TS]

  honest because they don't make oracle [TS]

  pajamas a little girl sex that's a [TS]

  little dark [TS]

  oh yeah now I was actually thinking if [TS]

  we ever took her to a convention in [TS]

  cosplay I would dress up like background [TS]

  whenever put joker in a wheelchair like [TS]

  a little Joker doll in a wheelchair nice [TS]

  flip it around huh well if if dr. [TS]

  strange should get a cold or something [TS]

  it Barbara Gordon isn't available to [TS]

  fight battles later I like that idea [TS]

  she's an alternate how about that sounds [TS]

  good to me I'd never move on to be final [TS]

  matchup of the night it's the one that [TS]

  the people who looked ahead in the [TS]

  bracket thought was a possible but [TS]

  highly unlikely match up and yet it has [TS]

  come to pass through sheer luck i'm [TS]

  going to say sheer luck it is the [TS]

  matchup that everybody demanded and now [TS]

  it is finally here [TS]

  you know it you wanted it and now you [TS]

  get to hear Dan more'n advocating for [TS]

  Marvel's moon night against Tony [TS]

  sindelar who is arguing for DC Comics [TS]

  the Batman was that dan please tell us [TS]

  about why moon night is great [TS]

  that man is no good no good luck buddy [TS]

  alright so [TS]

  I i know this is this seems like an [TS]

  uphill climb it seems like a tough row [TS]

  to hoe here and and I know exactly what [TS]

  my my esteemed opponent is gonna tell [TS]

  you he's Batman and that may be true but [TS]

  i think what we need to look at is the [TS]

  fact here that it's incontrovertible [TS]

  that Batman is just a terrible moon [TS]

  night rip off because another night [TS]

  dates back to ancient Egyptian god this [TS]

  power on various sort of worthy vessels [TS]

  and in that sense [TS]

  Batman is simply a modern-day invention [TS]

  of some guy who is a rich playboy and [TS]

  yeah I had a tough upbringing but really [TS]

  just decided that instead of using his [TS]

  millions to help the poor people of [TS]

  Gotham City that he would dress up like [TS]

  a bat and beat the crap out of criminals [TS]

  this is the guy was a butler right in [TS]

  the evening we talked a little bit of [TS]

  Tony Stark being full of privilege but [TS]

  but Bruce Wayne is a poster boy for [TS]

  white male privilege i mean anybody else [TS]

  tried to dress up as a bat and beat up [TS]

  people they would just not go very far [TS]

  so I think that you know in some ways [TS]

  Batman is just a pale imitation of moon [TS]

  night I mean moon night is I think he [TS]

  shows a certain degree of ostentation [TS]

  listen and devil-may-care attitude that [TS]

  Batman doesn't sure Batman dresses up in [TS]

  dark clothes and goes around sneaks [TS]

  around we're not wears all white and [TS]

  runs around he is not afraid of being a [TS]

  target because he has you know the power [TS]

  of of good and righteousness and [TS]

  psychosis on his side so i think in in [TS]

  summation if I may present my case and [TS]

  in just a simple brief sentence he's [TS]

  moon night writer words never spoken [TS]

  ah Tony tell us about why but the Batman [TS]

  is so good and Moon Knight is so not [TS]

  good [TS]

  I'd like to say earlier case love [TS]

  regarding he is Batman you do you are [TS]

  you referring to Batman or moon that [TS]

  would you make that stat I would like to [TS]

  establish that Batman is bad me okay [TS]

  uh-huh and just to make sure that there [TS]

  no can do you want adventure I am a [TS]

  hundred percent sure that Batman is [TS]

  Batman uh welcome to technology club [TS]

  um so just to just to dispel any [TS]

  potential confusion among our judges are [TS]

  listeners we all know that Batman was [TS]

  created in the thirties and midnight is [TS]

  created in the seventies which I think [TS]

  my opponent will have to concede happens [TS]

  after the 30 pretty awesome decade [TS]

  though eighteen seventies you mean ya [TS]

  know [TS]

  yes actually before nineteen thirties [TS]

  but nice try with your lies and [TS]

  flim-flam moon night there's really not [TS]

  a lot i can say to impeach moon night [TS]

  because nobody knows who he is because [TS]

  he is literally just Marvel's [TS]

  watered-down Batman and you know what [TS]

  tonight is pretty awesome he is a really [TS]

  cool underappreciated Marvel hero and if [TS]

  you know you're somewhere and you can't [TS]

  get Batman you know maybe maybe this [TS]

  will carry over until you get to your [TS]

  next Batman installment butBut moon [TS]

  night is just he's just imitation Batman [TS]

  he store-brand Batman except no [TS]

  substitutions alright let's go to leave [TS]

  her for her judgment [TS]

  this is a difficult one because no it's [TS]

  not [TS]

  no comments from the peanut gallery [TS]

  please [TS]

  that's not Ella the one hand the input [TS]

  the first really wants me to sing them [TS]

  like moonlight take it all the way for [TS]

  good again often mistaken as moon.white [TS]

  I have a very about courtrooms they need [TS]

  an agent of chaos driver let you think [TS]

  about justice [TS]

  I want to just think about well just as [TS]

  it's coming in for other alright [TS]

  continue Lisa you for the immediate [TS]

  briefs but the truth of the matter is a [TS]

  crazy dude who may or may not be [TS]

  multiple personalities one of which may [TS]

  or may not be an ancient Egyptian [TS]

  divinity is sorely boiler he's not he [TS]

  just won't do not cast aspersions it [TS]

  simply know this whole round is about as [TS]

  casting argument said closed oversleep [TS]

  we got you gotta be careful we start we [TS]

  start exploring the mental health of our [TS]

  clients and I had [TS]

  that's a that's a dark road nobody wins [TS]

  then that's just 0 is nobody vs no way [TS]

  for the final round that eat the thing [TS]

  is if Barry Allen is the heart of the DC [TS]

  Universe you could argue that Batman is [TS]

  kind of the dysfunctional mom who keeps [TS]

  them all together inside I was really [TS]

  hoping to fit all the salt very heart [TS]

  and and that means that's there [TS]

  and and that means that's there [TS]

  I know hereby hard you know because you [TS]

  think about this and and Batman has has [TS]

  helped a half dozen people in the DC nor [TS]

  springboard into their own place in the [TS]

  in the superhero pantheon [TS]

  he is arguably the greatest detective in [TS]

  the DC Universe he keeps Superman honest [TS]

  and on his toes and for Superman to [TS]

  confront his construction of humanity [TS]

  even as he is super and is that how he [TS]

  did well now look the dress code aside e [TS]

  Batman brings everyone else together [TS]

  either because they're terrified of him [TS]

  or they can't figure out where they want [TS]

  to work with him but he's something [TS]

  everybody in the DC Universe in common [TS]

  and he's got like the coolest rogue's [TS]

  gallery ever so I'm gonna find for [TS]

  Batman alright Batman gets a vote from [TS]

  lee so judge Jim judge it whatever the [TS]

  audacity of advocate morons argument it [TS]

  moves me I I I was like God give me a [TS]

  reason to vote for moon night and I got [TS]

  several and then Dan said that Batman is [TS]

  a pale imitation of moon night Dan [TS]

  Batman is a pale imitation of moonlight [TS]

  what color is badass cost you up [TS]

  dark light gray no dark defending that [TS]

  depends on your version did well your [TS]

  night likely great yeah what color the [TS]

  19 Knights costume it's impossible to be [TS]

  sure haha not no one has ever really [TS]

  seen him [TS]

  why does not really ignore your honor I [TS]

  believe the color is pale imitation is [TS]

  that what you're asking [TS]

  it is indeed I 54 Batman alright well [TS]

  Oh pale imitation is a great paint color [TS]

  for kitchen to see you know if any man [TS]

  that can roll around in like a pilot [TS]

  suit or something and pretend to be [TS]

  Batman in the next round [TS]

  unfortunately been doing forever we're [TS]

  checking IDs and he won't be allowed [TS]

  through so bad man moves along to the [TS]

  next round and and with that we have cut [TS]

  our number of heroes from 16 to 28 the [TS]

  remaining heroes in our in our [TS]

  tournament our number-one seed [TS]

  spider-man number two seed captain [TS]

  america that went according to plan [TS]

  number one seed a let's see what number [TS]

  one seed Batman number two seed one [TS]

  woman that also went according to plan [TS]

  then we have number five seed Doctor [TS]

  Strange up against number three seed the [TS]

  flash number 12 seed cinderella story [TS]

  the thing Ben Graham going up against [TS]

  number two seed Wolverine those are the [TS]

  eight heroes who remain in our ultimate [TS]

  quest to discover something that we're [TS]

  not sure about about superheroes I and [TS]

  we will resolve all of the rest of this [TS]

  tournament in one final edition of the [TS]

  incomparable home please let it be only [TS]

  one final edition and comfortable summer [TS]

  superhero tournament in in a few weeks [TS]

  when you have a one-hour episode that's [TS]

  just the final one on one will be a [TS]

  radio drama i want to sit there any [TS]

  popcorn [TS]

  yeah well we'll see you around both the [TS]

  advocates will just be shouting at each [TS]

  other [TS]

  yeah stop shouting first loses still [TS]

  have some will have some very exciting [TS]

  space fire coming up there but until [TS]

  then I want to thank our are advocates [TS]

  Monty Ashley thank you for being here [TS]

  thank you Jason [TS]

  sorry Superman voices too jaan thank you [TS]

  for being here thank you very much for [TS]

  having me what I do isn't very nice but [TS]

  I'm I'm the best there is at what it is [TS]

  whatever that is a job offering Mo's [TS]

  philipose black thank you so much for [TS]

  being here it's a pleasure and I i try [TS]

  to do the people's will appreciate it [TS]

  Tony sindelar thank you for fighting the [TS]

  good fight I will always fight the good [TS]

  fight as long as I don't have to fight [TS]

  Batman also you were three and out [TS]

  tonight so congratulations on that I [TS]

  cheat to win and Dan Morgan thank you [TS]

  for that driver [TS]

  alright that way I think you're thinking [TS]

  of batman forever just a film would not [TS]

  have gotten one night that they're in [TS]

  there have been way more bad Batman [TS]

  films in bad moon night fell we have you [TS]

  seen the area that the fan recut of the [TS]

  Batman movies to feature moon night [TS]

  they're done by dan and his brother [TS]

  and I'd like to think the doing the hard [TS]

  job of being our judges chips under [TS]

  thank you [TS]

  we should start calling this loss go to [TS]

  scare and research miser thank you thank [TS]

  you it's a pleasure and everybody out [TS]

  there thank you for putting up with us [TS]

  this is ridiculous we know but we also [TS]

  think it's kind of fun and we will be [TS]

  back with a regular episode next weekend [TS]

  yes the threat of more superhero [TS]

  tournament is out there in a few weeks [TS]

  until then thanks for listening [TS]