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543: In the Pocket of Big Turkey

 

00:00:00   [Music]

00:00:17   From Relay, welcome to the Upgrade Holiday Special.

00:00:23   This is episode 543. For December 23rd, 2024, this episode is brought to you by

00:00:29   Squarespace, Vitaly, and Lex Games. My name is Mike Hurley and I am joined by

00:00:37   either my co-Santa or my elf, Jason Snell. Hi, Jason.

00:00:41   Why aren't you my elf? Hi, Mike. How are you?

00:00:43   I'm either Santa or you're an elf. That's how this works.

00:00:47   We're co-Santas then.

00:00:49   Okay. I'm Santa. You're co-Santa? Is that how that works?

00:00:53   No, you're assistant to the regional Santa. That's how that works.

00:00:56   There we go. We got him. We got him. This is the holiday special.

00:01:00   My word, do we have a weird show for you today?

00:01:02   Boy, do we. And I hope you enjoy it.

00:01:04   I hope you enjoy it. I have a Snell Talk question for you.

00:01:07   I think you mean...

00:01:08   [Music]

00:01:15   It's jingle all the way, or I mean jingles all the way here.

00:01:20   The jingles are back. We will talk about this later on, but I would like to thank

00:01:26   Lex Friedman for another selection of incredible jingles in this jingles episode.

00:01:32   But I have a Snell Talk question for you and it comes from Aaron who wants to know,

00:01:35   "Jason, what is the mix of Christmas-like colors that you went for for the holidays?"

00:01:41   Well, I can have any colors that I want, Aaron. That's the answer.

00:01:47   I can have any colors that I want.

00:01:49   They know that. That's why they want to know. What did you choose?

00:01:52   Well, no. On the outside of the house, there are a bunch of different things that cycle through.

00:01:57   There's a little flickering green and red. There's one with green and red and white that

00:02:00   slides along the house. I've got a whole bunch of different animations out there.

00:02:04   Likewise for the tree, I've got the LED lights that have a bunch of animations.

00:02:10   Sort of every day or two, I'm changing it to a different animation. Right now,

00:02:12   it's one where it's a white, red, and green cycle going around the Christmas tree,

00:02:18   because it can do that, because it knows the shape of the tree. It's bananas.

00:02:22   I love that we now live in a world where I can just program the colors as we go.

00:02:31   I've got a Hanukkah pattern for when Hanukkah happens that will be mixed in with the Christmas

00:02:36   pattern. I'm using every color of the rainbow. That's what's happening.

00:02:42   If you would like to send in a Snowtalk question of your own, it's very easy to do.

00:02:49   Just go to upgradefeedback.com and you could help us start a future episode of the show.

00:02:54   Jason, would you like to introduce our next segment, which we're calling Tech Gifts We'd Like?

00:03:00   [Music]

00:03:20   The only reason we're doing this is because of that version of this, the classic money, money,

00:03:29   money jingle that everybody wants forever. It's all about presents now.

00:03:33   It's all about presents, and Santa has them. This is the conceit of this topic, which is

00:03:38   technology gifts that we would like that we do not have, and there is no budget.

00:03:46   That's where I am. I was like, "Well, let me think." Say, "Oh, I would like this or that,

00:03:53   maybe like a book's palm or whatever." That's fun, I suppose, but that's something I could

00:03:57   have for myself, but not necessarily everything. Jason, would you like to begin? What is a

00:04:04   tech gift that you would like that you do not have?

00:04:07   I was thinking about this because I'm fortunate that since my job is technology,

00:04:13   there's a lot of technology stuff that I end up getting for my work. It's a really nice thing

00:04:19   about this. My first one is going to be... I was thinking about this a lot. The one thing that I've

00:04:28   thought about and I've had open in web browsers, I'm never going to get it. I'm just never going

00:04:32   to get it because it's impractical, but if there were no budget and no object, I just could do it.

00:04:36   A retro arcade cabinet. There are a bunch of companies that make these. I think what I would

00:04:44   ideally like is something that looks like an arcade cabinet but is actually a fully built

00:04:49   emulator, but it's got all of the neat input devices on it, all the buttons and sticks and

00:04:55   trackballs and all that stuff so that I can play classic arcade games. There are places that'll

00:05:05   make little packs of them or it's a replica of one. I'd really rather not. I'd really rather

00:05:12   have it be all the games of all time. Although if you got me a joust cabinet, I would be fine

00:05:19   because that's my all-time favorite arcade game. But I like the idea. I've thought about it,

00:05:24   about getting a full-on retro arcade cabinet. I do have one of those X Arcade tank sticks that's

00:05:29   got the input device for it. It's this enormous, enormous input device. But all I have to do is

00:05:36   pull it out and hook it up to my Mac and set it up and it's just not the same as standing at a

00:05:41   cabinet. So retro arcade cabinets, they're not cheap. They're kind of impractical. They take up

00:05:46   space that my house does not have, but yeah, I would put that on my wish list. Do you remember

00:05:52   at the Podcastathon, there was an arcade cabinet on the set and I think you were the same, just

00:06:03   constantly draw to it. Every time we were in rehearsals, I was just playing. It was Miss

00:06:08   Pac-Man and I was having a great time. Arcade cabinets are just, they draw you in, right?

00:06:13   And that's a very good pick. And yes, these days, I actually think they're all emulators of some

00:06:17   kind, like because it's just so much easier and more efficient. You just put a raspberry pie in

00:06:22   it or whatever. And that's just how the thing runs because why would you do anything more than that?

00:06:27   Just why not? Let's go emulate all the way. I'm actually going to meet you in this space.

00:06:33   I would like a full racing sim setup for playing F1 games.

00:06:38   Remember at your bachelor party, we went to that arcade and they had the sit down race car

00:06:46   setups where you could race against other people and stuff? That was pretty good.

00:06:52   That is what I want. And you can get the ones where like the chairs are kind of,

00:06:55   they're on like hydraulics or whatever, and they move and rumble and I want the whole thing. And

00:07:00   with monitors all around me, covering my front and peripheral vision, full on. And these things,

00:07:07   you can get started in a sim for like a couple of hundred dollars, but you can go to like

00:07:11   thousands and thousands and thousands with the more that you add into these things.

00:07:17   But you can get too much. There are some sims which, you know, they'll hurt your arm.

00:07:22   If you crash, they're just going to, these things are going to fly around. But yeah,

00:07:27   that's what I would like. Some kind of racing sim setup.

00:07:31   All right. I'm giving you another one? Okay.

00:07:36   We're doing a round robin now. This is not a draft.

00:07:41   No, we could get the same thing if we wanted to. I consulted with my guy, my TV guy.

00:07:49   My high end, high quality, what's the best TV I should buy right now guy.

00:07:56   Uh huh. His name is John Saracusa.

00:07:59   Yeah, no surprise.

00:08:00   And that's why I'm putting on my list the Sony XR77A95L, Bravia XR A95L, 77 inch QD OLED 4K,

00:08:10   HDR Smart TV. Give me the biggest, best OLED available. And probably, as an aside,

00:08:18   some sort of smart curtain installation that I'll need to install in my living room,

00:08:22   because one of the reasons I don't have an OLED is because my, one wall of my living room is entirely

00:08:30   window. And therefore, OLED is not great with that like kind of bright lighting condition. So I'll

00:08:39   probably need a smart curtain for when I'm watching things when it's bright outside. But yeah,

00:08:44   basically I'm up for a beautiful TV and as big as possible. I like my TV. My TV is great,

00:08:51   but it's, you know, it's, I know that I know what I'm missing by not having an OLED. I know that the

00:08:57   dark grays that I see should actually be black, but they're not. And so yeah, sure, if money is

00:09:04   no object, let's do it. Let's give you that quantum dot action. That's what I want.

00:09:09   I'm reminded of when John Sarac- I think we, did we have, or did I, I think I did a standalone

00:09:18   mic at the movies for Kill Bill with John. I don't think it was on this show. I think it was like a

00:09:23   standalone that I did because it was what he wanted me to watch. And I remember his instructions

00:09:28   telling me that I had to close the curtains or close the blinds. I had to watch this movie in

00:09:34   the dark. And that's just like a funny thing for that. So yeah. That reminds me very much.

00:09:41   I'm going to continue. No, I'm going to go in a completely different direction actually now.

00:09:46   I'm going to describe to you, Jason, what would be my ideal computer set up for this desk. It is

00:09:51   an M4 Pro Mac Mini with 64 gigabytes of RAM, two terabyte SSD, 10 gigabit ethernet adapter,

00:09:58   and two studio displays. That was what I would like. Okay. Are you going to get that? Probably

00:10:04   not that exact configuration. Like the two studio displays? No. Like that's why this is a like,

00:10:12   no budget thing. I'm not going to do that. At some point in the future, I hope that Apple release

00:10:17   a higher quality display and then I will move that to where I have my studio display on my other desk

00:10:22   and then move that studio display to this recording desk. But right now the two, like the one LG and

00:10:28   one Dell display that I've had for years, just doing the job. But why not go to studio displays

00:10:35   if there's no object, you know? I like having two displays for when I'm recording. Like it's

00:10:40   really good. I was thinking about how I wish Apple made a state of the art super high end display,

00:10:47   because I would put that on my list, but I have a studio display and it's fine. And I don't want

00:10:54   their Pro Display XDR that's been out there for years now unchanged. No. But I do want a Pro

00:11:00   Motion, you know, like the whole nine yards. I want a 27 inch monitor that is built with the

00:11:07   same technology of what you find in the MacBook Pro. Right. But that's not what I'm asking for,

00:11:13   because I don't make that. But I would like that like decked out M4 Pro Mac Mini and have a good

00:11:17   time. And that Mac Mini is in my future. I just don't know when. But if hey, if Santa's got all

00:11:24   the presents, then he could just give me that. Sure. Santa does have all the presents, Mike.

00:11:29   Santa does. That's what the song said. So I'm expecting he would give it to me. What's next

00:11:33   up on your list? I have two cats. And I have another one. I also, boy, no. I also have toyed

00:11:45   around. A lot of this is stuff that I thought about, like, should I? And I just haven't done it.

00:11:49   I'd probably get or ask for a litter robot, you know, basically a first off robot in the name is

00:11:57   great. But like an automatic cat box cleaning thing. I've heard mixed results about whether

00:12:04   some people love them. Some people say they're not worth it. But if it's a gift list item with

00:12:09   no budget coming from Santa, I would give one of those a spin. That would be great. I would love to

00:12:14   try to reduce the cat box maintenance in the house with technology. That would be great.

00:12:20   Great question from ZM Locks in the Discord. Is the litter robot a robot?

00:12:27   I don't know. Don't ask me. No, I mean, it doesn't go anywhere. It doesn't go anywhere. So I think no

00:12:33   is the answer. That's the what I think fundamentally flawed argument that John

00:12:38   Siracusa gives, right? If it has to move, I don't think that that... Shots fired. But yeah, I mean,

00:12:44   I've issued this to John before, so I have no problem saying it out loud. I think,

00:12:49   does the robot, does it move as the rubric for a robot or not? It doesn't make any sense to me.

00:12:55   Okay. I mean, it moves internally, I guess. It spins. It's a little bin and all of that,

00:13:00   but it's a brand name, so we don't need to debate whether it's a robot or not. Hey,

00:13:03   you're talking to the guy who's tea maker. I call a tea robot. And that's not a robot.

00:13:07   I know he doesn't like that. My next up is the PlayStation 5 Pro 30th anniversary edition,

00:13:15   something that is very not available anymore because they sold out very quickly. This is

00:13:22   the PlayStation 5 Pro, which is not really something that I want, but if I was going to get

00:13:26   it, I would want it to look like this. So Sony basically recolored the PlayStation and all of

00:13:32   the accessories in the original PlayStation gray colors with the colored logo. And I want everything

00:13:38   that it comes with, with the two controllers that are colored this way, the stand. It comes with a

00:13:43   cable that you can plug into your controller that looks like it's plugging in the original PlayStation

00:13:49   controller. Overall, the package is fantastic, but I had no need for it and would not spend the money

00:13:56   for this because I don't feel like I've gotten the most out of my actual PlayStation 5, let alone

00:14:01   thinking about a PlayStation 5 Pro. But again, if Santa has all the presents and he's going to give

00:14:05   one to me, I'll take this. All right. Makes sense. I like it. I am going to next ask for a proper set

00:14:15   of reliable video cameras for the outside of my house. Santa, I hope Santa's got a startup.

00:14:23   Some PC funding. Santa Cam. Look, he's got to do something for the other 11 months of the year.

00:14:30   I mean, he sees you when you're sleeping. He knows when you're awake. He knows if you've been bad or

00:14:34   good. How? So therefore he is really part of the surveillance state already. Cut me in Santa.

00:14:41   Yeah, I've explored a bunch of different video cameras inside and outside the house. None of

00:14:46   them are reliable. They're very frustrating. I'm not really willing to spend the money on something.

00:14:53   I just want a couple of cameras out there. First off, some of it's just for my own entertainment,

00:15:00   but also just to be able to peer out there. I could keep it on during recording to see if

00:15:05   somebody's there. At one point, something happened to somebody's car on my street and they're like,

00:15:11   "Oh, you've got a camera. Did you see it?" And I was like, "Let me check. Oh, the camera completely

00:15:16   failed." And I thought, "Why am I even doing this?" But if I'm going to do it, I want it to

00:15:21   actually work. And the stuff that I've got is just terrible. So I'm just going to say, I don't need

00:15:27   your recommendations. Tell Santa what product I should get. Because I think the truth is the

00:15:32   amount of time, effort, money I would have to put in to get this is more than I'm actually willing

00:15:38   to spend. But I'll put it just out there. That would be one of those things where it's like,

00:15:43   I don't even want to do the shopping and ask for the particular product. I want a team of elves to

00:15:48   come in and install an entire infrastructure and cameras and wiring and everything. And I want to

00:15:55   give zero input about the entire thing because I'm kind of fed up with it. - My last two I'm

00:16:02   actually going to do together because they are two sides of the same coin. It is the remarkable

00:16:08   paper pro and the Google pixel nine pro fold. These are devices that I find so interesting,

00:16:16   but I know I would not use. I would like them for like a day, right? Or like for the occasional

00:16:27   thing, but they are way too expensive for the amount of use I would personally get from them.

00:16:32   So the remarkable paper pro is the color version of the remarkable, right? So it's like the thing

00:16:37   where you can draw on it and you can read on it. - It's an e-ink tablet with a stylus. - Exactly.

00:16:43   And then the Google pixel nine pro fold is the folding pixel, right? And I think both of these

00:16:48   things technologically are fantastic. And they look like great versions of what they are, like

00:16:54   maybe even the best versions of what they are, but they're just not products that I would use enough,

00:17:01   partly because of the ecosystems that I'm in, right? So like the Google pixel nine pro fold,

00:17:07   if Apple made this, this would be my phone, right? Because it's got all my stuff. And if I,

00:17:13   I don't know, annotated documents more, the remarkable would be great. It's like both of

00:17:19   these pieces of technology, they're really interesting to me, but I know about myself

00:17:25   enough that I would not use these devices anywhere near enough to justify the price.

00:17:32   I was going to say the ecosystem that you're in for the remarkable is that paper and nice pens,

00:17:40   because that's the thing that I think would probably kill that product for you is that

00:17:43   in the end you actually appreciate paper and pens and having to use a stylus and a paper substitute

00:17:51   tablet would, I think you would hate it. Yes, because look, they cannot make this feel like

00:17:59   pen and paper. They can't, they can't, especially to me, someone who really knows what that feels

00:18:04   like. Somebody who knows, yeah, exactly. I'm sure it feels great to write on, but different to pen

00:18:11   and paper. All right, I'll give you a last one, which is again vague because I don't know if

00:18:18   there's one out there that really fits the bill right now, but I have a lot of hardware floors,

00:18:23   especially in our living room and kitchen. And although I have a Roomba that we use and is very

00:18:30   loud and robot vacuums are best used when there's nobody in the house and I'm always in the house.

00:18:36   So it's not ideal, but I do like it. It does, we don't sweep every day, right? And so the robot

00:18:43   going through and vacuuming our floors every day is great. But what I've thought a lot about is

00:18:49   probably could have a robot mop because we also don't mop on a regular basis, maybe once a week.

00:18:54   And what I've read is, first of all, they make combination mop and vacuums that are apparently

00:19:01   not very good. I'm going to say I have the Roomba combo and I have been very happy. All right, well,

00:19:09   see, there you go. Anyways, and I've got a Roomba, so I could get a combo or I could just get a robot

00:19:14   mop and they could fight it out, right? The Roomba and the robot mop could fight it out. But that's

00:19:19   on my list. Again, it's not a thing I've bought. It may not be a thing that I ever buy, but I have

00:19:25   had that thought because I do like my gadgets and I do have that expanse of wood floor that could

00:19:30   probably use a proper mopping more often than it gets done. So I'll put it on my Santa list. Again,

00:19:36   this is the whole idea here. Is it stuff that I, at least I approached it a lot as stuff that I've

00:19:42   thought about buying and then thought, no, like some part of me overrides it, like it's not

00:19:46   practical or it's too expensive or I might not use it or I don't know how well it works. But for a

00:19:53   gift list, works for me. This episode is brought to you by Squarespace, the all-in-one website

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00:21:56   of Relay. There's so much I eat for Christmas. There's so much I eat for Christmas. There's so

00:22:04   much I eat for Christmas. Could you grab me a beer? Good advice. We're gonna tier list. We're gonna

00:22:11   tier list. Let's go. Tier list time. Christmas food. All right. So we have established a list

00:22:19   in our document here of different things that I'm assuming the two of us like or don't like to eat

00:22:25   for Christmas. I don't know. We're going to collaborate on a tier list S-A-B-C-D-F is the

00:22:32   tiers in case you've never done this before. I'll put a link in the show notes. If you feel like,

00:22:36   what's a tier list? I'll put a link in the show notes to what I think is a classic episode of

00:22:40   Upgrade. I will put the video version in the show notes in fact. So you can see us tier list the

00:22:46   app icons from the Summer of Fun this year which is a great time. Ah yes, that was a good one.

00:22:49   But we're gonna do a tier list of food and I think the only place for me at least that you can start

00:22:57   with Christmas is Turkey because here in the UK we don't have Thanksgiving so the Turkey dinner

00:23:05   is at Christmas. Ah. Turkey is... I think you could make a case for Turkey to occupy essentially every

00:23:16   spot on the tier list. I think different people could make that argument. I personally would say

00:23:23   even good Turkey is B tier. I don't know how you feel about Turkey.

00:23:30   Uh I'm pro Turkey. Okay. You're in the pro Turkey lobby. I agree with you that Turkey can be

00:23:41   bad. It's often overdone so it's dry and awful. But you know what my favorite sandwich maybe is

00:23:51   a turkey sandwich. Like especially like sliced turkey breast and like oh you put some other

00:23:59   things that we're going to mention later. Ah probably on that sandwich. Boy that's good. I love it.

00:24:03   Leftover turkey after Thanksgiving it's great. But it can be made badly. It can be made very badly.

00:24:09   And I've spent a long time as I've detailed on this podcast trying to make good Turkey.

00:24:15   So I you know I think I kind of came in expecting we would just acclaim this as a great Christmas

00:24:26   food but I will go with you. If you're willing to go to B tier I'm willing to park it there

00:24:36   because it is so variable. I think there are so many bad Turkey experiences you can have. And

00:24:41   also there are just in my opinion so many things better than the turkey on my plate. Like even if

00:24:47   the turkey is good I just feel like I can't have it occupy a higher spot based on everything that

00:24:54   surrounds the turkey. So now there's foment and discord in the discord right now. Of course.

00:25:02   Suggesting that I might be in the pocket of big turkey. And I know that was meant as a joke to

00:25:07   TJ but it's almost true because the perhaps the best purveyor of turkeys in America especially

00:25:16   like high quality farm raised turkeys is Deestle which is based in my hometown. And I actually went

00:25:24   to school with a Deestle. So the heir to the turkey fortune. I am kind of in the pocket of big

00:25:32   turkey. I mean I'm not. I have no gain but I was very close at one point I was very close to the

00:25:40   pocket of big turkey. Big turkey bias on this show is what we're saying. Big turkey bias.

00:25:47   How do you spell that? D-I-E-S-T-E-L. Look at this. As they say meal time snack time anytime.

00:25:58   That is not. Nobody thinks of turkey this way. People think of turkey as one time. That's what

00:26:05   I like about this right? Meal time snack time anytime. No turkey is one time. You could try

00:26:12   Deestle as hard as you like. I'm just gonna say as a representative of big turkey not a week goes by

00:26:19   that I do not have turkey. I'm sure you do because you're in the pocket. Everyone else is like hey

00:26:25   turkey I know when I'm having that you know. Hey beat it turkey. It's one time. Beat it turkey.

00:26:30   In America two times maybe. I'm gonna ask you to bring the next two actually because I can't

00:26:35   believe that these would even be up for consideration. Okay well beef like roast a roast

00:26:42   or a steak and a ham like how we had the honey baked ham at Stephen's house. Yeah yeah. These

00:26:50   are alternate alternate proteins for the for the holiday table for the Christmas table. Ham I can

00:26:56   understand more because I've had it as part of Thanksgiving and enjoyed that right so like I

00:27:01   can understand if you've had turkey at Thanksgiving that you would have ham so you're not having two

00:27:07   turkey dinners a month apart even though as we've already established actually that's fine because

00:27:12   you can have turkey for meal time snack time anytime so. Any time. Two turkeys a month apart

00:27:18   no problem because it's meal time. Ham I get more. I can't personally imagine a steak with

00:27:26   don't you have like a Christmas roast though isn't that a thing and. Roast beef no I mean roast beef

00:27:32   is part of a roast dinner which it could be any time of the year any Sunday I get. Yes. Steak I

00:27:37   can't imagine so much um roast beef maybe ham I would say I'm not so much of a roast beef fan

00:27:46   anyway. Oh interesting. I would say. The king is disappointed in you. Maybe I mean for me I would

00:27:53   put if I was putting these just where I would where I put them I would put beef as a C and ham

00:27:58   as an A I think ham is a better meal than turkey a better meat than turkey for this but I would like

00:28:04   to know what you think. Uh I well we don't have ham in our house because Lauren doesn't eat it.

00:28:12   That's the problem. I enjoyed the ham at uh Stephen's house because it it reminded me

00:28:20   of when I to to your previous point got so tired of having turkey both holidays

00:28:28   that I insisted we do something else for Christmas and we got a ham instead. Um it's fine.

00:28:34   Um I I think you have correctly identified my issue here which is if you have a big turkey

00:28:41   for Thanksgiving having another turkey which we're gonna do this year it can be very samey

00:28:49   and so I have definitely had that where it's like that's too much effort we just had one

00:28:53   I'm just gonna make a roast or a steak or something like that or or I suppose a ham but not in my

00:28:59   house so I don't know um let's put we don't need to talk about steak we'll just put we'll put beef

00:29:07   roast beef on the list I would say at uh C tier. Okay. And ham I think I think uh is is too high

00:29:19   I would put that at like B or C tier. What do you think? I would let's put ham at C tier too.

00:29:25   Okay. I want to uphold the tradition of turkey. Of the turkey. All right the turkey turkey wins

00:29:31   that one I think that's I think you're right I think that's how it should be alternates below.

00:29:36   I have what I think is an easy S tier. Okay. Roast potatoes. Roast potatoes. Now how big are these

00:29:45   how be are these are these individual little potatoes are these sliced potatoes that are

00:29:49   then roasted like uh in chunks what what form do roast potatoes take it's like where we would like

00:29:54   to like chop them up so so that a big potato became a bunch of little tiny pieces of potatoes.

00:29:59   Tiny. That are then roasted. I wouldn't say tiny. Let's let's imagine a decent a regular potato

00:30:05   you'll cut that up into quarters or sixths. Sixths. And that will be roasted and so you end up with

00:30:11   this perfect thing that's for me what worst potatoes are some people like to roast them whole

00:30:15   I don't understand why you do that like to me. That's a big potato that's a big no you can take

00:30:21   smaller potatoes and you can dress them oh yes them yes you can roast small potatoes yes I think

00:30:26   this is basically the same parboiling put them in with oil roast them this is my favorite thing

00:30:34   on the Christmas meal like interesting without a shadow of a doubt I come from a strong

00:30:40   roast potato household. I see that's good. And roast potatoes are very important to me

00:30:45   and I've carried on the tradition in my family of good roast potatoes so that that's I actually

00:30:51   just right now Jason I made a note in our document I keep a so I keep a list of all the edit points

00:31:01   right yeah for the show and I just made one for a crosstalk and instead of writing crosstalk I

00:31:08   wrote roast potatoes so you know how much I'm thinking about roast potatoes right now

00:31:14   I got them on the mind so I'm all roast all the time including at 44 minutes and 13 seconds in

00:31:21   our show recording. Good note good note I appreciate it holiday special note so are you saying S tier

00:31:28   I mean I'd put them at A tier easy they're great if if you can't imagine a world for S tier but I

00:31:34   think roast potatoes are an S tier material okay let's put them up there they're great they're

00:31:39   great but now we have controversy because you know what I like I like mashed potatoes you know like

00:31:46   the mashed potatoes you gotta liquify everything you know just think it all in one go I like mashed

00:31:54   potatoes I do I do not as much as I like roast potatoes I haven't written mashed potatoes down

00:32:03   in our edit note document if that's what you're asking. Yeah that's right well that's that's

00:32:08   really the tell I don't even know what we're doing here why don't we just post why don't you just

00:32:12   read out your document and that'll tell everything about how you feel about all these things I'd be I

00:32:17   feel like mashed potatoes are very very good I love them they don't they don't have to be S tier

00:32:21   but I would put them at A or B. I think that mashed potatoes they're a good A I just think

00:32:28   potatoes are great right in all forms oh yes I agree and so but I don't I don't think they're

00:32:34   as good as roast but I I would put them up there well we'll put them in A tier which brings us to

00:32:42   the the other potato related thing that we've got on this list a thing my mother always made

00:32:50   the candied yams these are sweet potatoes is this aka sweet potato casserole no this is uh

00:32:58   you have you have baked or roasted sweet potato that is then covered in a melted marshmallow

00:33:05   right I mean I do love that by the way sweet potatoes and marshmallow I love that now not

00:33:12   at Christmas though I mean you've gone a step too far that is a Thanksgiving food in my mind I would

00:33:18   not have that on the same plate this is my Christmas meal this is one of my childhood

00:33:24   foods that I have I have excommunicated from my life from my holiday plate I'm fine with that

00:33:31   like I've only ever had them as an adult and I've had them like three times I could imagine every

00:33:36   year if I'm eating this every year I don't think I could do it so I put it down as a is it an F

00:33:43   I doubt it it's I mean I have a very strong contender for F later on and I don't think

00:33:50   you're gonna want candy jams in there I do too let's put it a D yeah I'm gonna now pick I'm gonna

00:33:57   talk about my favorite vegetable side from my Christmas dinner maple glaze root vegetables I

00:34:04   would choose parsnips and carrots for this as a little extra now this is the stuff right so

00:34:10   they're roasted first they're roasted in oil and maple syrup and it's so good so good so even even

00:34:19   ten years ago I would I would be decrying this but I I've discovered over the last ten years that if

00:34:25   you roast terrible vegetables they're edible yes that's the best way to do it yeah I've just got

00:34:32   to just got a point out in the discord this is incredible to me Zach says Mike's picks are very

00:34:37   British what else would they be you know I'm not I'm not eating an American Christmas dinner you

00:34:42   know like come on I'm eating I'm eating a good British Christmas dinner so you know the King

00:34:48   came over and he was like I spoke to Tim now I'm here to tell you how to do yeah I love these again

00:34:56   s-tier no they are not made a tier I would say yes because look I like carrots and I like parsnips

00:35:04   I like them they're fine they're great roasted but you know how they're even made better they put

00:35:07   maple yeah yeah I know I get behind that like I've eaten these things roasted and they're and

00:35:14   they're edible and I believe it or not like the fact that I can eat a carrot at all I'm never

00:35:17   gonna like carrots yeah I find it ironic that I actually prefer broccoli to carrots when they're

00:35:25   roasted which broccoli was literally like my least favorite broccoli and cauliflower and now I

00:35:31   actually like them quite a bit when they're roasted olive oil little salt carrots I would

00:35:37   never say I love them but they're edible and parsnips same they're a little more potato like

00:35:47   I guess so that's good you know Mike I'm never gonna really get behind this I don't but I don't

00:35:55   hate them so what do I do I mean I don't you know you would eat them I would eat okay here's what

00:36:03   here's where we are with this as the plate plates are getting passed around yeah and there's a plate

00:36:08   with maple glazed parsnips and carrots on it mm-hmm and it comes to me now classic Jason move and a

00:36:16   lot of these events is just keep on passing that plate yeah yeah would I take a little bit of parsnip

00:36:23   and carrot and put it on my plate I would would I eat it I would when that plate comes back to me

00:36:29   again or somebody holds it up and says anybody want more parsnips and carrots would I ask for

00:36:34   more no here's what I'll say is going on what you're saying that plate is given to you right

00:36:43   and they're on there like you've been given the plate no already on there you've got to have some

00:36:47   vegetables right because otherwise someone's gonna say I guess I have no vegetables sure these are

00:36:52   the vegetables you're gonna want no the number one vegetable is yet to be picked here but but

00:36:57   nobody depends I think I know where you're going and that one depends okay maple glazed parsnips

00:37:03   and carrots you're always gonna enjoy it because it's at least no I'm not you're always gonna

00:37:09   enjoy it I'm not okay see I mean if you're offering see I'll take see you seem so upset

00:37:17   about the vegetables that I feel like I can't get you to go to be no I'll tell you because you love

00:37:23   them all right let's go would be because you love them even though I do like I said I would eat them

00:37:27   okay and you love them and I would eat them and I figure that will average that out to a B all right

00:37:31   speaking of vegetables we got for me green beans or the classic American green bean

00:37:39   casserole loved by Midwesterners everywhere okay Mike I'm gonna make my pitch for it are you ready

00:37:46   I'm ready green beans are the worst and I put this on the list so I could say green beans stink

00:37:55   green bean casserole you're like we put a bunch of stuff on the green beans you know what you did

00:37:58   you put stuff on bad stuff like it doesn't matter it doesn't matter what you put on them green beans

00:38:04   are awful down with green beans thumbs down what a terrible terrible vegetable the worst

00:38:10   have Merry Christmas everybody we I like green beans I gotta tell you I like green beans

00:38:21   I've never had a green green green bean casserole in the way in which you describe it to my knowledge

00:38:29   so really I cannot speak to green bean casserole well let's let's let's take a tour through the

00:38:37   green bean casserole recipe okay born in the Campbell's soup test kitchen in 1955 it has

00:38:43   stood the test of time boy has it just five staple ingredients and 10 minutes of prep no wonder it's

00:38:47   a beloved family favorite one can of cream of mushroom soup no thank you half a cup of milk a

00:38:55   teaspoon of soy sauce four cups of cooked cut green beans and then over the top you sprinkle

00:39:02   french fried onions and bake it in a casserole dish I don't like the soup here why we I don't

00:39:10   why is this well in the 50s Mike in America all food got covered in mushroom cream of mushroom

00:39:16   soup that was I like the idea of green beans and I like the idea of fried onions I don't like the

00:39:24   sound of mushroom soup yeah yeah mmm Midwesterners I love you I have friends who are Midwesterners

00:39:31   mm-hmm this ain't it I'm sorry it's okay then we had it we had a dish that we had frequently when

00:39:39   I was a kid that was chicken and little little soft onions and cheese and green bean casserole

00:39:48   or not green bean casserole and cream of mushroom soup cream mushroom soup and it was it was pretty

00:39:55   good but like again I'm reminded of the fact that my mother is from Western Pennsylvania which is

00:40:01   technically I would say again point of contention the Midwest very Midwestern if it's not the

00:40:06   Midwest Western Pennsylvania and that was a very Midwestern kind of dish put cream of mushroom soup

00:40:12   in it where are we putting this Mike please make it go down low as low as possible I've never had

00:40:20   this I don't like the sound of it so I'm happy to put it in F which is a holiday I've never had it

00:40:29   all right so I'm going on how that sounds and just trust me option trust me okay trust me I will

00:40:36   I trust that bring that brings us to Brussels sprouts yeah okay okay first off Brussels sprouts

00:40:44   have a terrible reputation but so bad little little known that over the last 30 years 20 years

00:40:50   they have bred Brussels sprouts to be less bitter they've literally changed what the vegetable is

00:40:57   because people refused it and modern Brussels sprouts are actually pretty good they're not as

00:41:03   bitter and you roast them and they're tasty and you can they are great roasted they are great

00:41:08   roasted with a little balsamic vinegar there's a dish that we often make for the holidays where

00:41:13   you actually use some garlic and some sriracha and you make kind of Asian influence it's from

00:41:21   a it's from a restaurant in in Austin Texas actually is where it came from and Moises told

00:41:26   me about it but like they're like soy garlic sriracha Brussels sprouts Chris kind of crispy

00:41:33   because they're roasted they're so good Brussels sprouts I if I'll tell you this is how much I've

00:41:38   changed as an eater is if they're Brussels sprouts as an appetizer on a menu at a restaurant I go to

00:41:44   we absolutely order them like every time because Brussels sprouts roasted with some stuff on them

00:41:52   some cheese or whatever the dishes they're great I I'm completely bought in on Brussels sprouts now

00:41:59   I don't like Brussels sprouts on their own really I kind of do I don't like love them but I really

00:42:07   like them with bacon like that that for me Brussels sprouts and bacon is what opened my mind to see I

00:42:14   can't I can't do that in my in my household I can see why that would be good but there are so many

00:42:20   ways this is the thing is like that we have multiple ways of preparing very good tasty

00:42:24   Brussels sprouts would suggest to me that they should go pretty high now I can't imagine breaking

00:42:33   the B ranking to be honest oh I think Brussels sprouts are a tier I really alright go for it

00:42:39   put them in okay I'm gonna put them in stuffing now well if you're if you're gonna have a bird

00:42:45   you're gonna have to have stuffing right that's theory the theory anyway yeah I don't cook

00:42:51   stuffing in the turkey now British stuffing tends to have sausage meat in it hmm interesting and

00:43:00   it's real good basically deconstruct a sausage and add some bread to it or like a stuffing mix

00:43:09   maybe some onion I love stuffing I think it's fantastic it tastes super good I think it is a

00:43:17   honestly stuffing it's my favorite meat as well interesting Christmas dinner yeah it's real good

00:43:25   real real good so first off a health note you shouldn't actually make the stuffing in the

00:43:31   bird because there's cross-contamination that's potential and you could get sick so you should

00:43:35   just make it and yeah I like stuffing I don't love it but although you just described a stuffing that

00:43:44   sounds a lot of fun too I think it's good I think I think it's a I think it is maybe the best bread

00:43:51   related option as well in some ways to have a you want a little a little starchy kind of thing there

00:44:00   I mean you got your potatoes but like you can get like rolls or bread or something but stuffing is

00:44:04   good so where should we put stuffing I would say it's an a-tier I'll go with that I'll let you do

00:44:09   that I'm not I have no objections to that but I would like to add another a-tier sausage friend

00:44:16   to my to my plate here now this is what we call pigs in blankets which is Americans think of pigs

00:44:25   in blankets are what we would call a sausage roll pigs in blankets to us are little sausages wrapped

00:44:31   in bacon right where pig in blankets for us are little hot dogs in a pastry or a even that's not

00:44:39   what I would consider a sausage roll but yes I've seen this before but let's say little sausages

00:44:45   cocktail sausages as they're sometimes known yeah wrapped in pieces of bacon excellent just excellent

00:44:51   just a great time give me some pigs in blankets and you have that holidays you have that holidays

00:44:57   yes part of Christmas yeah sausage pigs pigs wrapped in pigs the blanket is is more pig is

00:45:03   what you're saying I will say in in England it seems like while you know we Turkey is the

00:45:10   duckies you know it's like oh it's the turkey dinner there's really a lot of pig on the plate

00:45:15   to be honest I say it's a lot now I know this is gonna be complicated for you what kind of bacon

00:45:20   is this I have to ask that question because bacon can be different things tends to be streaky bacon

00:45:24   because it's got to be thin right right so it's more like American bacon yeah it's more like this

00:45:28   we're good at wrapping things in bacon too yeah because the streaky bacon is is more wrappable

00:45:32   mm-hmm well okay um I'm willing to put this I'm willing to put the concept of pigs and blankets

00:45:40   up high if if you will acknowledge that it could be either kind because I actually do kind of like

00:45:45   an American pig in a blanket sure I mean a hot dog sounds fantastic like that that sounds fantastic

00:45:54   yeah a a tear oh let's just do it I mean I feel like we're building a great dinner sure all right

00:46:02   well I'm gonna ruin it let's ruin it what's our next item I demand this is this is created last

00:46:08   year when you told me that story so let's put it in there aspect whoa here I have had as part of

00:46:17   remaining meat inside gelatin so it's meat and vegetables suspended inside a pork gelatin one

00:46:25   of one of the traumas of my life I apologize to everybody in Eastern Europe but just the worst

00:46:31   I'm sorry that you have to go through this terrible well there's there's no tear below F so F tier it

00:46:38   is F I love I love that aspect and green bean casserole are sharing a cell that's how I hope

00:46:44   this would go I don't understand this next item so why don't you tell me about it so chocolate is a

00:46:51   big thing at Christmas little you know you got a little treats around the house right you just like

00:46:57   you're eating them every now and then a little chopper yeah a little chocolate was Cadbury they

00:47:01   are the purveyor of good chocolate and they produce lots of there are a lot of companies

00:47:07   do this but I like the every ones and there's a couple of different things where they're

00:47:10   essentially assortment boxes of individually wrapped chocolates and my favorite and it is

00:47:17   like a classic for me is from when I was a kid they make something called Cadbury roses you only

00:47:22   buy these at Christmas and they're a little various chocolate you might get just a derrimac one maybe

00:47:27   one with nuts in it one with a like a strawberry sausage a strawberry filling maybe an orange cream

00:47:39   filling it is just a good time this is to me an S tier part of Christmas just the in general idea

00:47:46   of boxes of chocolate that are just open that you can freely eat at any point in the day just a

00:47:54   great time I'm gonna suggest that we've just put chocolate in the S tier that is absolutely cuz we

00:48:00   have we have similar things here for different holidays but also at Christmas they're like

00:48:05   Hershey's kisses no don't write me about Hershey's but like again just like the idea that there are

00:48:09   various kinds of chocolate that are just around is great whatever chocolate you want to me novelties

00:48:15   Hershey's tastes like chalk so I cannot well you can't spell chocolate without chalk chocolate

00:48:22   done I don't like chocolate but I don't choose it I choose good chocolate but I also don't mind it

00:48:29   it's like fast-food chocolate it's fine whatever okay really quickly we're gonna get through the

00:48:33   desserts here pumpkin and or sweet potato pie I love it I think it's necessary I put it up at

00:48:40   very high having one of those Maggie kind of pies I love it what do you think hey Tia I like to do

00:48:47   it can pile up it's good sweet potato pie is just like pumpkin pie except I think better ginger

00:48:53   snaps or gingerbread S tier I agree ginger is the best gingerbread is the best and again this is the

00:49:00   time of year where where there's just like ginger stuff laying around for you to I build a red house

00:49:05   every year it's my favorite things you know you know the story right about how I terrorize my

00:49:10   children now I told you that sorry but tell me again yeah yeah cuz they wanted to eat the

00:49:15   gingerbread house so I got a hammer and I smashed it and my children like a legend for all time and

00:49:22   finally eggnog I really like eggnog but it's complicated you know I don't I actually you know

00:49:32   what Mike I've never had eggnog because it sounds so disgusting that's the thing so eggnog sounds

00:49:38   disgusting tastes great in my opinion with alcohol why don't we see tear it because it is complicated

00:49:47   even though I was complicated okay so we conclude the the Christmas food tier list S tier roast

00:49:54   potatoes chocolate and ginger snaps or gingerbread we could stop there quite frankly odd plate though

00:50:02   you can't stop there right you're not allowed to stop there but then let's mix in the a-tier

00:50:08   mashed potatoes Brussels sprouts stuffing pigs and blankets and pumpkin pie or sweet potato

00:50:14   pie B tier turkey maple glazed parsnips and carrots for Mike C tier the other the alternates

00:50:22   roast beef ham as well as eggnog D tier candied yams and F tier Sharon a space in the dungeon green

00:50:31   bean casserole and aspect the worst plate boo put the yams and the casserole in the aspect together

00:50:38   and hand that to a person you don't like your mean old uncle but the but the yams in the casserole

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00:51:56   oh at Christmas time you'll see me watching Christmas movies and TV and your dear friends

00:52:05   at upgrade know the best shows the best shows the best shows and movies now now what would

00:52:14   that what would a special episode be without a draft Christmas content draft favorite TV

00:52:21   shows favorite movies of the Christmas season that we like do they have to be Christmas

00:52:26   movies I don't know we'll find out I suppose Jason what's your first pick a Charlie Brown

00:52:33   Christmas very good it is the soundtrack alone I've already listened to multiple times and

00:52:41   I will try to find time to watch a Charlie Brown Christmas it's short it's sweet it's

00:52:46   very Charlie Brown it's the most Charlie Brown peanuts thing that there could possibly be

00:52:50   and it's a it's a classic of my childhood so and it's on Apple TV and hi-def so easy

00:52:57   for me to get to so Charlie Brown we had the family over at the weekend we were doing like

00:53:01   a little Christmas thing so we're gonna be together at Christmas so we just came together

00:53:04   and someone asked everyone to go around pick their favorite Christmas movie to which started

00:53:10   a debate of the home of home alone versus home alone oh that was the debate actually

00:53:15   it's not the debate you think okay thank goodness yeah home alone versus home alone too and

00:53:20   I after having the spirited conversation came down on home alone too as being the more Christmassy

00:53:29   of the home alone movies okay okay I mean any home alone too as well is the reason that

00:53:36   everybody outside of America wants to go to New York at Christmas oh this is interesting

00:53:42   yeah growing up everyone wanted to do Christmas in New York and I believe it's because of

00:53:47   home alone too you know one year at Macworld Expo in New York we stayed at a hotel where

00:53:53   they were shooting a Christmas movie so it's July and the entire place is dressed like

00:53:57   Christmas it was so strange that was made in Manhattan starring Jennifer Lopez I believe

00:54:03   oh wow wow made MA ID in Manhattan but it was like of course back when they made a hallmark

00:54:10   Christmas movies as regular movies yeah basically before they just became cable TV what many

00:54:16   people would call the glory days of cinema the best days of all I so my pick is gonna

00:54:24   be something that my wife introduced me to that I had never seen before and I think legitimately

00:54:29   is my favorite Christmas movie now and it's a classic and I highly recommend it to people

00:54:35   it moves along fast it's an old movie but it's super enjoyable I just I think you would

00:54:41   like it I think it I think it plays well to a modern audience there's there's good jokes

00:54:45   there's a good message it's miracle on 34th Street that was a huge surprise for me when

00:54:51   we did it as Mike at the movies yeah I did not think that I was going to enjoy that movie

00:54:58   because it's an old black and white Christmas movie but it has some twists and turns it

00:55:03   it really does and it's and jokes I mean there's there's there's also jokes it's not the movie

00:55:09   you think it's gonna be when it starts to where it's really not it's not sappy or anything

00:55:14   no right truly great movie it was very high up on my little shortlist here I'll put it

00:55:20   I'll put it this way to the guy who plays Santa Ana nominated for an Academy Award okay

00:55:25   it's a good movie yeah it's a very very good movie it's a very very good movie has a lot

00:55:32   to say about customer service by the way which I think is interesting for upgrade listeners

00:55:35   a lot to do about how companies treat their customers anyway go ahead I'm gonna do it

00:55:40   I'm gonna I'm gonna settle the debate and I'm gonna pick Die Hard Die Hard Christmas

00:55:44   movie I think honestly I think anything can be a Christmas movie I agree at Christmas

00:55:52   I agree 100% any this movie has Christmas in it it has Christmas in it ho ho ho now I

00:55:58   have a machine yes and what could be more Christmassy than getting rid of terrorists

00:56:05   from a building you know like is there anything more in the spirit of Christmas I don't think

00:56:10   so anything so yeah anything could be a Christmas movie if you watch it at Christmas I know

00:56:14   that this is some people deeply disagree with this but I just don't I don't agree I think

00:56:19   Die Hard has because if Die Hard was not a Christmas movie it has become one exactly agreed

00:56:26   yeah 100% that's a great pick another I would say latter-day classic and I know that people

00:56:35   don't particularly like well that's not true a lot of people like this actor some people

00:56:40   can't stand this actor and other stuff he's been in but I would say this is the perfect

00:56:46   perfect Will Ferrell performance yes I agree 100% elf this is like there aren't many modern

00:56:55   clap like right Christmas movies that get added to what would be the pantheon of like

00:57:00   this is it elf is one of them elf is a great movie a great Christmas movie the story gets

00:57:08   a little weird towards the end but that's fine I think it's well yeah there's there

00:57:14   I think you're probably referring to the moment where it sort of becomes a Lord of the Rings

00:57:18   parody which is very strange like why is the is the the the NYPD suddenly like a monster

00:57:32   that is riding evil horses and like it's it gets it gets real weird but that's okay because

00:57:37   then the spirit of Christmas comes upon us all and it's great so yes it's a great movie

00:57:45   I'm now gonna do the thing about movie that is now a Christmas movie for me but it's not

00:57:52   a Christmas movie at all I watched for the first time at Christmas last year frozen and

00:57:59   now frozen is a Christmas movie to me and I will be watching it again this year and

00:58:04   I loved it at Christmas I think frozen fits very well for Christmas because it's there's

00:58:10   ice and snow everywhere and it's just great I would probably say frozen one and two I'm

00:58:15   probably gonna watch both for them but yeah that I think the frozen movies are good movies

00:58:20   to watch at Christmas but I understand many parents have watched these movies many times

00:58:25   all year but the first time I'd seen them was last Christmas and I think I want to make

00:58:30   them a Christmas tradition in my household all right I'm gonna go a little bit off the

00:58:36   board now still a little bit unexpected mm-hmm but a it's actually a New Year's Eve tradition

00:58:45   for us okay but it's a silly silly movie that you can watch anytime and I'm gonna go back

00:58:51   further back into the past even then miracle on 34th Street whoa this is a movie that makes

00:58:58   my son crack up and he is a child born in 2004 and yet a movie from 1933 totally worked

00:59:12   on him it's absurd it's a great way to ring in the new year but you can also watch it

00:59:16   on Christmas night or Christmas Eve it is the Marx Brothers duck soup I've never seen

00:59:22   this but I know of it it's ridiculous it's great it actually has political commentary

00:59:27   it came out in 1933 it's about the rise of fascism but it's also just wall-to-wall bits

00:59:34   just comedy jokes comedy bits that just repeat and are and they kill so duck soup is a New

00:59:40   Year's Eve tradition for us but I'm gonna I'm gonna call that part of the holiday season

00:59:46   and throw it in there it's great it really is like watch it it's it's short too it's

00:59:52   like 70 minutes long I mean it's like really short but it's packed with jokes it ends in

00:59:57   an absurd way that is I think intentional in terms of their message about war and against

01:00:04   fascism and it's great duck soup the Marx Brothers I'm gonna go back to the kind of

01:00:11   traditional Christmas fair and pick a movie that I don't necessarily expect all the people

01:00:16   like but I loved it as a kid so it warms my heart when I see it now and that is Arnold

01:00:21   Schwarzenegger's jingle all the way oh nice why do you like that movie I've never seen

01:00:28   it do you know I don't know why right but like I watched it a lot as a kid so this is

01:00:32   Arnold Schwarzenegger plays a dad who is essentially not very good because he I don't think he's

01:00:44   very if I remember is a very attentive dad and he's tasked with buying an action figure

01:00:50   called turbo man for his son and he goes too late and he doesn't get turbo man he misses

01:01:01   out and then through a series of events in which he tries to procure a turbo man gets

01:01:10   caught up in a parade and becomes turbo man it's incredible and ridiculous and very that

01:01:19   yes full spoilers for the movie jingle all the way yeah if you've been waiting to watch

01:01:25   it now Mike's around it for you sorry it's great it's just stupid and great it's like

01:01:31   I don't know as in the 90s I guess when just Arnold Schwarzenegger made these kinds of movies

01:01:36   and this is just one of those it's basically the type of movie that the rock used to make

01:01:42   as well you know like that kind of like we're gonna put a big muscly guy in a peculiar role

01:01:49   sin bads in it too and that isn't the what is that effect West everyone thinks in bad

01:01:58   made that movie but he didn't make a Mandela effect right yeah Sinbad was actually in this

01:02:03   movie also starring Phil Hartman Rita Wilson Jim Belushi is it Sinbad or is it Shaquille

01:02:10   O'Neal that they thought was Sinbad or Sinbad I think it's something like that Sinbad is

01:02:14   somehow involved in the Mandela effect but he was actually in this movie yeah that's

01:02:22   good that's good yeah or is it kazam is a movie starring Shaquille O'Neal as a genie

01:02:29   but people remember it as being called something else and with Sinbad and it's just something

01:02:34   like that brain thing all right for my next pick I could I could be pretty generic here

01:02:42   but I'll be a little bit less generic so since 2005 there has been a Christmas or New Year's

01:02:47   special for Doctor Who almost every single year because it's a British thing right British

01:02:51   TV American TV has basically fled or put football on now for Christmas but British TV I came

01:03:00   to realize it is a thing right like everybody puts the special everythings on at Christmas

01:03:07   and so they do Doctor Who Christmas specials which are great but I have two that I want

01:03:11   to recommend more broadly that are my favorites I used to have one and now I have two there's

01:03:16   a Christmas Carol which is got Michael Gambon is the star of it it's with Matt Smith as

01:03:24   the 11th doctor the it's the ghosts of Christmas past present and future are appeared to Michael

01:03:31   Gambon via time travel because it's they got a time machine it's so such a good riff on

01:03:39   a Christmas Carol it's fun it is exactly what a Christmas special should be yeah excellently

01:03:45   done and then the one that I've added to the list is with Peter Capaldi also written by

01:03:50   Steven Moffat last Christmas which was a few years later and that one's got Nick Frost

01:03:56   in it as Santa it's got a good cat it's got a good cast it is fun and bittersweet and

01:04:04   also scary it is it riffs on alien but in a Christmas way and I love that I think it's

01:04:12   just a great episode so I actually have a Plex playlist of Doctor Who Christmas specials

01:04:17   I'll just put them on in the background and they just play all 12 of them or whatever

01:04:20   the Christmas special is a big thing in the UK and Doctor Who is one of the shows that

01:04:25   participates in this tradition it's a good vibe that some of them are better than others

01:04:29   but that those are a good vibe and I'm looking forward to this year's Moffat is coming back

01:04:34   to write another Christmas special because apparently Russell Davis is like I can't write

01:04:38   Christmas specials don't make me and so they bring they brought Moffat back to do another

01:04:42   one I'm looking forward to that too but those two are the best

01:04:47   I'm gonna pick an episode of television that is Christmas themed that you probably shouldn't

01:04:51   watch at Christmas but it is oh best episodes of television I've ever seen so I feel like

01:04:56   it needs to be included and that is the bear fishes oh yeah yeah this is the the holiday

01:05:07   feast with the the seven fishes of the nine fishes or whatever yeah that where that you

01:05:12   know ends with a car smashing into the house spoilers sorry spoilers for the bear spoilers

01:05:20   for the bear they're all they're all incredibly emotionally damaged I don't think that's much

01:05:23   of a spoiler for the bear yeah if you want to feel very very incredibly tense over Christmas

01:05:30   watch this episode of television it's maybe a perfect piece of television I don't think

01:05:36   that it will get you in the Christmas spirit but I feel like I couldn't make this list

01:05:40   of Christmas content about including it it's great I'm gonna go with the Muppets Christmas

01:05:47   Carol oh good that it's a good one you know there should be more movies that are just

01:05:55   the Muppets doing a thing because everything's better with Muppets in it I don't understand

01:06:01   like this is a movie that is themed around the Muppets no and about Muppets are in con

01:06:07   but the Muppets are just the characters but they don't need to be about the Muppets if

01:06:12   that I don't I don't understand why they just don't do every year there's a thing where

01:06:16   there's a classic something that is being made by the Muppets and the thing is they'll

01:06:20   add jokes it'll be fun it'll be light and the Muppets are in it and I don't that is

01:06:25   a franchise that's really been mismanaged by Disney I did an incomparable episode where

01:06:29   I pitched a movie that was Disney's Marvel's Muppets the Avengers or something like that

01:06:34   Disney's Muppets Marvel's the Avengers where the idea is yeah just do a Muppets Marvel

01:06:38   movie and it would be funny and like why not like why not do that why not why not take

01:06:44   they make live-action versions the quote-unquote live-action versions of all these classic

01:06:48   animated Disney movies I do not know why they do not also make Muppet versions of classic

01:06:53   Disney movies and Marvel and Star Wars like it would be so fun and I think people would

01:06:59   like them and I think it would be good sort of family fair and holiday fair but that's

01:07:04   my rant about the Muppets I'll just say Muppets Christmas Carol it's a Christmas Carol but

01:07:08   with the Muppets and it's good it's really good so sure Muppets put it on Muppets Christmas

01:07:14   Carol for my last pick love actually oh okay all right you know I know at this point that

01:07:26   movie is so played out right like I get it it's like memed into oblivion but it's there

01:07:32   was a time in British cinema when movies were like this it's like yes like this is like

01:07:42   a British romantic comedy it is and also it's worth remembering because love actually was

01:07:50   so successful it created a genre of let's get loads of people and put them in a movie

01:07:56   and everyone's having independent stories that mix together this was the movie that

01:08:02   popularized that format yeah although Richard Curtis had been doing it already yeah right

01:08:08   because he did yeah winnings in a funeral and Notting Hill and I mean but yes this is

01:08:12   the one that was the huge one yes like the Richard Curtis like movies are all great but

01:08:18   they were still like interesting people together but what love actually did that I think was

01:08:22   unique was like here are like six different stories and sometimes they move in and out

01:08:26   where it's kind of like an anthology in one movie where like say something like Four Weddings

01:08:31   and Notting Hill there they have a more of a of a typical structure of a movie like you're

01:08:36   telling a story yes it's a singular story and we're following one or two characters

01:08:41   through the whole time yeah love actually is like an anthology almost of little short

01:08:48   scenes and it's and it's the cast is so good and it's like good classic and

01:08:55   contemporary at the time actors like here a nightly for example who was very new in

01:09:02   her career then like and it's also very funny and very well written and and like the movie

01:09:08   yes it is played out but if you have not watched love actually in a long time I recommend going

01:09:13   back to that movie because I think it will surprise you how good it is considering these

01:09:18   days how prevalent it is I just watched it last year and it you know there's parts of

01:09:24   it where I'm like I don't know about that but the the it's got a good vibe and the cast

01:09:30   is bananas everywhere you look there's somebody that you will recognize even people who were

01:09:36   not famous at the time you will be like wait a second that's January Jones from Madman

01:09:42   or that's the that's Thomas Sangster who's been in a million things but he was just the

01:09:46   kid back then but he's been he was in Game of Thrones right like it everywhere you turn

01:09:51   why is Billy Bob Thornton in this movie well I guess he's the president the United States

01:09:55   it just keeps going it's it's a yeah that's a wild movie good pick and and it really was

01:10:01   like its thing was hey look at all these people like that was the poster the poster was just

01:10:06   look at all these people and then there ended up being even more of them it's a great movie

01:10:13   this episode is brought to you by Lex Games now we got to talk about Lex for doing all

01:10:19   of the incredible work that Lex has done in creating these jingles in this episode and

01:10:23   in our Summer of Fun episode we thank Lex and I would like to tell you all about Lex

01:10:27   Games as a thank you to Lex and so who doesn't love word games monsters that's who and this

01:10:33   isn't the holiday season for monsters it's the holiday season of joy and gift giving

01:10:38   so give yourself the gift of joy with Lex.Games Lex.Games is an iOS app and website with nine

01:10:45   daily word games if you like games that are like word or connection of crossword puzzles

01:10:50   you will like Lex.Games probably but for everyone games include collections lexicogs bio vowel

01:10:57   letter opener six six appeal and daily full size the mini crosswords and there's mind

01:11:03   control which is a whole lot like mastermind unless you're a lawyer in which case look

01:11:08   over there but for everyone else Lex.Games is a fun collection of mostly free and fully

01:11:14   ad free word games pony up a cheap subscription for a couple of specific games or just play

01:11:19   the seven free ones they don't judge the Lex of Lex.Games is Lex.Friedman the same

01:11:24   guy who's written all these incredible jingles for us and there are no fewer than three songs

01:11:29   written by Lex inside the Lex.Games app so if you like Lex's songs there's three

01:11:34   more if you don't like them there's only three even better this Lex isn't the other

01:11:41   Lex Friedman which is good on many levels go play Lex.Games or go to Lex.Games/relay

01:11:47   to find the website and app for iPhone and iPad and since every puzzle is written by

01:11:52   Lex you may find occasional references to Apple or Weird Al Yankovic or podcasts that

01:11:58   is Lex.Games/relay or in song form Lex.Games/relay of course that copy was written by Lex of

01:12:08   course because it's excellent thank you Lex.Of course it was well you know what it's time

01:12:13   for now Mike?I do indeed.

01:12:40   Thank you Lex.Jingles all the way.First question comes from Elizabeth when is it okay to put

01:12:49   Christmas decorations out and when should they have to come down?Well in the US I would

01:12:57   say Thanksgiving is a good barrier to Christmas decorations in the US I would not put them

01:13:02   out before the day after Thanksgiving Black Friday I guess and they like I think I think

01:13:08   they should probably come down after New Year's Day there's a little bit of a like New Year's

01:13:14   Day and Christmas are on a Wednesday this year you've got till the next weekend but

01:13:21   then they should by that next weekend they should be gone.I'd say that's pretty fair

01:13:25   I would say like we don't have the barrier here right so things can get smushy I think

01:13:30   in general December 1st is a good time to go up if not the very end of November but

01:13:35   I think December 1st is a good time to go up.Please not November 1st right please not

01:13:38   the day after Halloween it's too much it makes it less special if a whole one sixth of the

01:13:43   year has Christmas in it.I agree.Yeah so somewhere between Black Friday and the first of December

01:13:49   through somewhere around New Year's but also you know you're busy on New Year's if you

01:13:54   leave it till the next weekend I'm not gonna judge.We put up our tree way too early this

01:13:58   year because we were going away at the end of November and at the first week of December

01:14:02   so I didn't want to come home to there being no Christmas tree so we put it up a bit early

01:14:06   but that's the reason why but I would usually go into December 1st and I agree the weekend

01:14:11   that is immediately following New Year's is the right time to take it down.That's the

01:14:14   time you take the stuff down maybe if you're bored on New Year's Day you start to like

01:14:18   pack things away but certainly but you can give yourself till the next weekend.Matthew

01:14:22   asks what is the most low tech thing that you do for the holidays?Oh low tech.I have

01:14:29   my answer.Okay give your answer.You can think of one.Sure.So I mentioned it earlier but

01:14:33   every year I build a gingerbread house like that's something that I love to do we'll

01:14:37   buy like a kit and I'll make the gingerbread like actually bake the gingerbread.It's easy

01:14:43   they give you all the things you know like all the and it's all you just put them all

01:14:46   together I mean I say it's easy I had to order a second kit because I was I was I was

01:14:52   halfway through getting things ready and my mom called me and then I was like I ended

01:14:57   up not getting all of the liquids in at the same time so I couldn't bring the gingerbread

01:15:02   together as a whole thing I was very upset there's another kit come in I'm gonna build

01:15:05   it anyway you don't need my trauma I like to build the gingerbread house build it you

01:15:12   know build everything with icing and then decorate the whole thing I love doing this

01:15:17   it's something that I love to do and I am very excited to share this with my daughter

01:15:22   in the future that's gonna be a lovely thing and I'm happy that it's already like one

01:15:26   of the traditions in our house is that I build a gingerbread house and I very much look forward

01:15:30   to taking that into the future it's the most low-tech thing that I do in the holidays.

01:15:34   Don't smash it with a hammer. Unless you want to traumatize them I guess. I mean I thought

01:15:39   it was funny and it's like remember when daddy smashed that thing with the hammer it's like

01:15:43   oh boy okay sorry I just thought it was funny. It is funny. Maybe if I used like a comedy

01:15:49   mallet like a rubber mallet or something it would have been fun. Maybe if you would have

01:15:52   like put tinsel around the hammer it might have made it more Christmas-y. But I brandished a hammer and smashed it.

01:15:57   Gingerbread house. Anyway yeah I would say baking and cooking are the things that are

01:16:02   low-tech that I do so I make those ginger molasses cookies every year that are really

01:16:07   good. I have made some they're almost gone I'm probably gonna make more if there's enough

01:16:13   ginger for it because they have lots of ginger in it but they're great and I'll do some other

01:16:20   you know cookie baking or I've got a bunch of like cookie cutters so sometimes we'll

01:16:24   do a round of like sugar cookies because you can cut those out into fun little shapes and

01:16:28   then put like sprinkles or icing on them and decorate them and you know they're fine and

01:16:33   they're and they're fun they're fun to do and that's a fun thing to do when like the

01:16:36   kids are home or whatever. Cooking at Christmas is just a fun thing to do. So that's my answer.

01:16:44   When I Sam says when I was seven years old I designed a robot to help my mom with the

01:16:48   housework and asked Father Christmas for it for Christmas. I got a PlayStation and said

01:16:52   if you could ask Father Christmas for one non-existent tech product what would it be?

01:16:57   Woah what do you have here? It is a similar answer but this is for me not for my mom.

01:17:03   I absolutely would want it to be a non-human looking house cleaning robot. Like if I could

01:17:10   have one thing technology-wise that doesn't exist something that could clean my whole

01:17:17   home for me without me needing to do it is an incredible idea. Right there like we're

01:17:22   not just talking about a Roomba. I'm like this thing is dusting it's straightening up.

01:17:26   It's picking things up and cleaning underneath like it's doing the whole nine yards you know.

01:17:30   I agree I agree the the I'm gonna go with you on this because I think this is right

01:17:34   a robot butler and ironically I just wrote I just read a book about a robot butler and

01:17:40   a robot apocalypse which I highly recommend it's called Service Model by Adrian Tchaikovsky

01:17:45   it might be appearing in the Upgrady's but a robot butler that does not look like a human

01:17:51   being but what you said is exactly right so it knows not to be around where I am. It's

01:17:57   straightening it's picking up dishes and rinsing them off and putting them in the dishwasher

01:18:02   it's making it's setting the tea robot and maybe even bringing me the tea hey why not

01:18:07   it's it's a cleaning up it's emptying the cat box it's doing all of those things so

01:18:13   that I wouldn't have to do it because wouldn't it be great to have a robot butler.

01:18:15   But absolutely does not look like a human. That is so important to me.

01:18:20   No one of the things in Service Model is that the robot who's the narrator talks about

01:18:24   how they have different they go through different cycles of the fashion of a robot and it's

01:18:29   like oh and then we look very human and then people found that disturbing and I think he's

01:18:32   like almost like a clown mask where it's like a face but it's just got like like dots like

01:18:39   a kid drew it which is even more terrifying. I don't want a human form at all.

01:18:45   No thank you. Maybe you already answered this but aaaah asks what are the ideal kinds of

01:18:53   cookies to leave out for Santa?

01:18:56   Oh wow I would probably okay it depends on who the audience is here if you want to make

01:19:04   Santa happy you leave Santa some of those really nice ginger molasses cookies and probably

01:19:11   like a drink like bourbon or something that's what Phil Michaels always left out a bourbon

01:19:18   for Santa when his daughter was younger. If you want to make the kids happy you put out

01:19:23   milk and sugar cookies that are probably shaped like I don't know reindeer Santa snowmen whatever

01:19:28   and then whatever Santa doesn't eat.

01:19:31   Wait would Santa be happy to eat Santa cookies?

01:19:36   Maybe it depends on if he views it as cannibalism or as branding.

01:19:41   Okay.

01:19:44   I encourage parents to put out your favorite cookie and your favorite beverage for Santa

01:19:50   because Santa anything Santa leaves behind you can have.

01:19:55   Yeah Santa likes what you like that's the good thing about Santa.

01:19:59   Santa is a magical being who likes what you like yes.

01:20:03   Elizabeth asks do you prefer snow or no snow for Christmas and Jason have you ever had

01:20:08   a white Christmas?

01:20:10   I have no preference here because I have mostly lived in a place that doesn't have snow growing

01:20:15   up we did have snow occasionally my 1988 Christmas which was my freshman year in college it snowed

01:20:25   on Christmas Eve so one time we had a white Christmas and that was great although you

01:20:34   know what maybe my favorite Christmas was when we were in Hawaii for Christmas mele

01:20:41   kaliki maka as they say that was pretty sweet.

01:20:46   Christmas day?

01:20:47   On Hawaiian Christmas Day that was pretty great Hawaiian Christmas Day was also pretty

01:20:50   awesome so I'm gonna say no snow but if I were somewhere that could get snow I would

01:20:55   probably prefer snow because it was beautiful I always wanted there to be snow on Christmas

01:20:59   Day as a kid and it never happened I thought it never would and then my freshman year in

01:21:03   college it happened.

01:21:06   I think that the Christmas season is made that little bit nicer when there is some snow

01:21:13   during it I think it is very fitting.

01:21:16   Of course.

01:21:17   I've never had to my memory I have never had like what you would consider a true white

01:21:24   Christmas I have had there has been snow at Christmas but like proper like snow at Christmas

01:21:29   I've not had that but there's been around that time and I like a bit of snow I like

01:21:34   a bit of snow.

01:21:35   Aaron asks do you think Santa would be a Mac or iPad person?

01:21:41   Santa's on the go Santa's just iPhone all iPhone all the time.

01:21:45   See I would say iPad if we're choosing but yes I get the-

01:21:49   He might have an iPad in the sleigh or you know and back at home they might have a whole

01:21:54   big Mac setup but I feel like he's so he's so mobile like he's got to check his list

01:21:59   I think that list is an app now and he's got it down the chimney there so he's got it's

01:22:03   got to be in his pocket it's got to be an iPhone so I've turned that question around

01:22:08   entirely.

01:22:09   I like that yeah I like that.

01:22:11   Andrew asks this is probably a question for me what is the best alcohol for eggnog?

01:22:15   Rum bourbon brandy or something more exotic?

01:22:17   I'm going to put a link in the show notes for the one of my favorite YouTube channels

01:22:22   Benjamin Babish there is a I'll put a link to the video that they did for holiday cocktails

01:22:31   and I really like Babish's recipe which is bourbon and rum but just like specifically

01:22:37   the entire recipe is is really good and I recommend that so I'll put that in.

01:22:45   And I will recommend an episode of the incomparable game show episode 245 where we play a game

01:22:54   of mind meld and one of the questions is about what goes in eggnog and and you'll find out

01:23:02   interesting thoughts about what people who don't understand eggnog put in eggnog I don't

01:23:06   drink eggnog so I have no opinion here but I think I put I think rum is what I answered

01:23:11   for that.

01:23:12   Okay yeah rum rum is typical but I think a nice combo of rum and bourbon is good.

01:23:19   Ann asks Christmas songs but it's not what you think what's your least favorite?

01:23:26   Least favorite Christmas song is in Christmas it's a marshmallow world.

01:23:34   What is that?

01:23:38   It's a song and I remember hearing it and hating it Bing Crosby it was a hit and then

01:23:46   I think there was a marshmallow world Dean Martin did it.

01:23:54   I hate that song so much.

01:23:56   I don't know this by its like title but I'll have to go check it out.

01:24:01   Marshmallow world in the winter and the snow is humbling down.

01:24:05   It's bad.

01:24:10   And then the other one I don't like is jingle bell rock.

01:24:15   I don't like jingle bell rock.

01:24:17   I think it's lazy I think it's super lazy.

01:24:21   I think jingle bell rock is lazy I think marshmallow world is cloying and bad.

01:24:26   I like yeah I've got opinions I don't really like the beach boys Christmas song either

01:24:32   I know.

01:24:33   This is killing me you know I don't feel so bad about what I'm gonna say now.

01:24:38   I think the worst Christmas song is all I want for Christmas is you by Mariah Carey.

01:24:44   Stop.

01:24:45   You've got to stop it.

01:24:46   You've got to stop it.

01:24:48   There are better versions of this song.

01:24:49   Mariah Carey much love to you alright.

01:24:52   You're an incredible artist with such a great range.

01:24:55   We got to stop this song.

01:24:57   We got to stop it.

01:24:58   It has to end.

01:24:59   We need another one.

01:25:01   I please please another song.

01:25:04   Please like Michael Buble's version better.

01:25:10   I think you could say that about most songs.

01:25:12   Aaron final question real tree or artificial tree and why which do you have now and have

01:25:19   you ever done the other?

01:25:22   Real tree always have had a real tree love a real tree love the smell that it brings

01:25:27   it's got the tree smell your house smells like there's a tree in it which there is which

01:25:31   is great.

01:25:32   If I could get a tree that was like in a pot that I could put inside and then put outside

01:25:40   I would do that but the problem is I think trees grow and so it would outgrow the pot

01:25:44   and then I couldn't use it as a Christmas tree.

01:25:46   I would love to do that at some point but real tree 100%.

01:25:50   My mom has an artificial tree now but we always had real tree when I was growing up and I

01:25:53   still do.

01:25:56   I've always done artificial tree.

01:25:59   I would like to do real tree.

01:26:01   We have I've it was not something that my mom would have wanted and when we were in

01:26:06   our apartment we did not have enough space.

01:26:08   We have enough space in our house now for a bigger tree.

01:26:11   So we're going to get a bigger artificial tree but I at some point in the next couple

01:26:17   of years would like to try a real tree for the first time.

01:26:19   I think that would be really good and I would I know I would appreciate it and there are

01:26:25   places not too far from me where I could get one and I could like walk home with it.

01:26:30   But yeah I would like to do it but I've never done it.

01:26:34   So it's funny because when you said that you put up your tree early before you before Thanksgiving

01:26:40   because then you flew to America I almost said we would never do that because the tree

01:26:48   would be dying way before the end of the year but it doesn't die if it's not alive.

01:26:56   Our tree is a little bit sad so in a way.

01:27:00   Our decorations are amazing.

01:27:02   We buy decorations in places that we go so our tree is full of memories which I think

01:27:07   for me I think is the perfect way to decorate.

01:27:12   But we have not bought a new tree so like we found like a really small tree it's called

01:27:16   a slim tree which we needed in the apartment because we didn't have space.

01:27:19   So right we have this very small Christmas tree in the downstairs now which is just like

01:27:24   an open space.

01:27:25   A pretty large downstairs yeah.

01:27:27   Yeah and it's also actually quite short so we have to put it on top of a small coffee

01:27:31   table.

01:27:33   But the tree is trying its best out here right it's decorating nice so I think we get away

01:27:37   with it.

01:27:38   The tree is doing what it can.

01:27:39   It's doing what it can with what it's got but next year it's a bigger tree.

01:27:41   My mom has a tree that's probably two feet tall but it's every it's a fiber it's like

01:27:47   fiber optic strands coming out of it so it like it lights itself.

01:27:51   It's pretty cool.

01:27:52   Yeah those things are a lot but good.

01:27:57   I wouldn't want that you can do it I would not want a full size tree like that but people

01:28:02   do it.

01:28:03   No.

01:28:04   No.

01:28:05   That's too much.

01:28:06   Yeah.

01:28:07   Thank you for sending in your holiday ask upgrade questions.

01:28:09   Thank you for sending in all of the ask upgrade questions that you send us.

01:28:12   You can always send them in at upgradefeedback.com.

01:28:16   You can check out Jason's work at sixcolors.com.

01:28:19   You can hear him at the incomparable and here on Relay.

01:28:21   You can listen to me here on Relay too and check out my work at cortexbrand.com.

01:28:25   You can find us online on Mastodon Threads and Blue Sky and you can watch clips of this

01:28:29   show on TikTok, Instagram and YouTube where we're at Upgrade Relay.

01:28:34   Thank you to our members who support us with Upgrade Plus and thank you to our sponsors

01:28:37   of this week's episode.

01:28:39   Thank you to Squarespace and Vitally.

01:28:40   A huge thank you to Lex Friedman for the jingles all the way that we needed throughout this

01:28:45   entire episode.

01:28:46   Thank you for listening.

01:28:48   Happy holidays and we'll be back next week with the 11th annual upgradeys.

01:28:53   Until then, say goodbye Jason Snell.

01:28:56   Ho ho ho!

01:28:58   Merry Christmas my Curly.

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