Roderick on the Line

00:00:00 ◼   ► this episode of rock on the line is [TS]

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00:00:15 ◼   ► [Music] [TS]

00:00:20 ◼   ► hello guy John I'm Merlin how's it going [TS]

00:00:23 ◼   ► good how are you I'm doing pretty good [TS]

00:00:28 ◼   ► good having a coffee [TS]

00:00:31 ◼   ► yeah you know that seems like something [TS]

00:00:33 ◼   ► to do we have our our teacher conference [TS]

00:00:36 ◼   ► today and I always get nervous on [TS]

00:00:37 ◼   ► teacher conference day [TS]

00:00:38 ◼   ► what do you think is what's there to be [TS]

00:00:40 ◼   ► nervous about well you know how it is in [TS]

00:00:44 ◼   ► life you always kind of hope that things [TS]

00:00:46 ◼   ► will go as well as you could dream and [TS]

00:00:50 ◼   ► and you you fear that it's as bad as you [TS]

00:00:53 ◼   ► imagined and they always they almost [TS]

00:00:55 ◼   ► always go really well but still you [TS]

00:00:57 ◼   ► worry about the one where you going [TS]

00:00:58 ◼   ► they're like well we all have some [TS]

00:01:02 ◼   ► concerns about your child's call know [TS]

00:01:05 ◼   ► hello we haven't gotten that one yet but [TS]

00:01:06 ◼   ► you know so he's dropped a little bit [TS]

00:01:08 ◼   ► here the other ones and yeah i just am [TS]

00:01:11 ◼   ► always waiting you know because she's [TS]

00:01:12 ◼   ► been she's a good kid but yeah I'm [TS]

00:01:16 ◼   ► always nervous because I feel like I'm [TS]

00:01:17 ◼   ► on trial [TS]

00:01:18 ◼   ► i feel ya defensive is the wrong word [TS]

00:01:20 ◼   ► but I feel a little defensive [TS]

00:01:22 ◼   ► mmm yeah will you give them homework [TS]

00:01:25 ◼   ► uh-huh right yeah so now but you know I [TS]

00:01:28 ◼   ► think it'll probably go find have you [TS]

00:01:29 ◼   ► had any of those experiences yet once ya [TS]

00:01:33 ◼   ► teacher conference went to a teacher [TS]

00:01:35 ◼   ► conference skip the PTA meeting so far [TS]

00:01:40 ◼   ► mmm teacher compensation you should [TS]

00:01:42 ◼   ► really get yourself to at least a few [TS]

00:01:44 ◼   ► this [TS]

00:01:45 ◼   ► oh yeah i know they're in my future [TS]

00:01:46 ◼   ► right there was just one that was like [TS]

00:01:49 ◼   ► oh great one [TS]

00:01:51 ◼   ► hey come to the PTA meeting tonight if [TS]

00:01:55 ◼   ► you want to order bottles of wine with [TS]

00:02:00 ◼   ► your child's picture on them all its [TS]

00:02:02 ◼   ► Rick training wheel nuts big lovely [TS]

00:02:06 ◼   ► gifts [TS]

00:02:07 ◼   ► this is your last chance this is like my [TS]

00:02:09 ◼   ► dream and you're not gonna send you [TS]

00:02:11 ◼   ► another email up this is only the eight [TS]

00:02:14 ◼   ► comes the big 90 many limited [TS]

00:02:17 ◼   ► opportunities every week and so I said [TS]

00:02:20 ◼   ► this is this is a PTA room organization [TS]

00:02:23 ◼   ► i'm gonna I'll get involved [TS]

00:02:26 ◼   ► not quite yet I made that mistake when I [TS]

00:02:30 ◼   ► was when we were in pre-k [TS]

00:02:32 ◼   ► and I went in and said sure I'll join [TS]

00:02:35 ◼   ► the Executive Board I told you this I'm [TS]

00:02:39 ◼   ► sure went and sat down at the first [TS]

00:02:42 ◼   ► meeting and they were running the [TS]

00:02:44 ◼   ► meeting like full-on Robert's Rules of [TS]

00:02:48 ◼   ► Order No Wow and just real quickly if it [TS]

00:02:52 ◼   ► without revealing too much was your [TS]

00:02:54 ◼   ► pre-k of any particular stripe [TS]

00:02:58 ◼   ► methodology philosophy was it sort of [TS]

00:03:00 ◼   ► allied with any big ideas uh the big [TS]

00:03:04 ◼   ► idea it was a cooperative preschool [TS]

00:03:06 ◼   ► yeah me too which means that everybody [TS]

00:03:07 ◼   ► was there all hands on deck at work but [TS]

00:03:10 ◼   ► I was in this executive board meeting [TS]

00:03:11 ◼   ► the first one and they started running [TS]

00:03:14 ◼   ► down the minutes of them and i could not [TS]

00:03:20 ◼   ► I thought I felt that feeling that you [TS]

00:03:24 ◼   ► that maybe it was like a bad dream where [TS]

00:03:26 ◼   ► you were in fifth grade and you had been [TS]

00:03:29 ◼   ► mistakenly put in 15th grade yeah where [TS]

00:03:33 ◼   ► I was like what way will I i drifted off [TS]

00:03:35 ◼   ► their what what are we talking about and [TS]

00:03:38 ◼   ► I and you know then my eyes were were [TS]

00:03:41 ◼   ► like i was i was falling asleep in my [TS]

00:03:44 ◼   ► chair my eyes were like yeah I'm [TS]

00:03:45 ◼   ► uncontrollably drooping and like 45 [TS]

00:03:50 ◼   ► minutes into an hour-long meeting I said [TS]

00:03:51 ◼   ► I can never be here again I this has [TS]

00:03:54 ◼   ► been a horrible mistake but it turned [TS]

00:03:57 ◼   ► out that my daughter's mother goes to [TS]

00:04:00 ◼   ► those things all the time and she she [TS]

00:04:03 ◼   ► happily not happily but she took my [TS]

00:04:06 ◼   ► place and no one even noticed one thing [TS]

00:04:09 ◼   ► we have in common we both have young [TS]

00:04:10 ◼   ► daughters and we both have baby mamas [TS]

00:04:13 ◼   ► who are how shall I say and I mean this [TS]

00:04:17 ◼   ► as the extreme compliment that is it [TS]

00:04:19 ◼   ► helped capable they're capable when they [TS]

00:04:22 ◼   ► they go places and they do stuff and [TS]

00:04:26 ◼   ► they don't piss and moan about minor [TS]

00:04:28 ◼   ► inconveniences whereas we made a career [TS]

00:04:30 ◼   ► out of that wouldn't that be something [TS]

00:04:32 ◼   ► she's not my wife she cool she goes to [TS]

00:04:35 ◼   ► some meetings and she goes to a lot of [TS]

00:04:37 ◼   ► meetings you know there's one kind of [TS]

00:04:38 ◼   ► meeting or like like like you going like [TS]

00:04:40 ◼   ► you're the guest speaker and I got to [TS]

00:04:42 ◼   ► find meaning i like those this yeah [TS]

00:04:44 ◼   ► right [TS]

00:04:44 ◼   ► actually that that's the podcasters type [TS]

00:04:46 ◼   ► of meeting it gets bigger [TS]

00:04:48 ◼   ► hello but a lot of those kinds of [TS]

00:04:53 ◼   ► meetings I they have certain valence to [TS]

00:04:57 ◼   ► them that are not well suited to people [TS]

00:05:00 ◼   ► like you and me nobody there is [TS]

00:05:02 ◼   ► necessarily happy to be there but they [TS]

00:05:04 ◼   ► they're more grown-up about it they [TS]

00:05:06 ◼   ► handle it better and on occasion i am [TS]

00:05:09 ◼   ► sure i told you the story but on [TS]

00:05:10 ◼   ► occasion i would I you know what with [TS]

00:05:12 ◼   ► what with the preschools it was a co-op [TS]

00:05:15 ◼   ► like yours and you gotta help out [TS]

00:05:17 ◼   ► I mean yeah stuff does not get done [TS]

00:05:19 ◼   ► unless everybody does more than they [TS]

00:05:21 ◼   ► need to because there are a lot of [TS]

00:05:23 ◼   ► people aren't who are supposed to be [TS]

00:05:24 ◼   ► doing what they need to and you end up [TS]

00:05:26 ◼   ► doing more than you need to do then you [TS]

00:05:28 ◼   ► need to do so that's just to do to do to [TS]

00:05:32 ◼   ► do i was at a dinner party [TS]

00:05:34 ◼   ► not very long ago in a cabin which wait [TS]

00:05:38 ◼   ► for it didn't have a dishwasher [TS]

00:05:41 ◼   ► huh now it's been a long time since I've [TS]

00:05:44 ◼   ► been someplace that didn't have a [TS]

00:05:46 ◼   ► dishwasher because I state of mind [TS]

00:05:48 ◼   ► yeah i'm a i'm a downtown person and uh [TS]

00:05:52 ◼   ► we live in a you know interrupt in the [TS]

00:05:54 ◼   ► rarefied air of the ivory tower of [TS]

00:05:57 ◼   ► Seattle one of the two towers who and I [TS]

00:06:03 ◼   ► so I'm at this party and you know we're [TS]

00:06:08 ◼   ► making dishes faster than we're making [TS]

00:06:11 ◼   ► any other thing this is your meat [TS]

00:06:13 ◼   ► centric wedding party [TS]

00:06:16 ◼   ► well same cabin different events when we [TS]

00:06:20 ◼   ► were making we're making plates at the [TS]

00:06:23 ◼   ► at the at the boy party and yeah there [TS]

00:06:28 ◼   ► was a certain amount of like our I don't [TS]

00:06:29 ◼   ► gotta do the dishes one of the guys at [TS]

00:06:32 ◼   ► the at the at the boy party was a nag [TS]

00:06:34 ◼   ► right about the dishes and stuff me [TS]

00:06:37 ◼   ► tells me all right but then we're at a [TS]

00:06:41 ◼   ► we're at a party at the same place few [TS]

00:06:43 ◼   ► weeks later it was a it was a [TS]

00:06:46 ◼   ► mixed-gender party and we were just [TS]

00:06:50 ◼   ► making we're making dirty dishes like [TS]

00:06:53 ◼   ► you're going out of style because it was [TS]

00:06:54 ◼   ► one of those dinner parties we're making [TS]

00:06:56 ◼   ► the food all [TS]

00:06:57 ◼   ► only making the food making some pasta [TS]

00:06:59 ◼   ► making some sauce making some cake [TS]

00:07:02 ◼   ► that's that's that's a lot of dishes [TS]

00:07:04 ◼   ► making making making make him and these [TS]

00:07:08 ◼   ► dishes needed to get done and I jump [TS]

00:07:10 ◼   ► over and I started doing dishes and you [TS]

00:07:12 ◼   ► know it's a it's like riding a bike [TS]

00:07:14 ◼   ► right I haven't sat us in a sudsy sink [TS]

00:07:17 ◼   ► and done dishes in a long time but you [TS]

00:07:20 ◼   ► don't forget how to do it and it and [TS]

00:07:23 ◼   ► it's like back in the you know I was [TS]

00:07:25 ◼   ► back in the dishes who felt real it kind [TS]

00:07:29 ◼   ► of felt real good i was always I was [TS]

00:07:32 ◼   ► always too meticulous about doing the [TS]

00:07:35 ◼   ► dishes interesting and I never [TS]

00:07:38 ◼   ► understood when people would say you're [TS]

00:07:40 ◼   ► being too meticulous i would say how can [TS]

00:07:43 ◼   ► you be too meticulous in cleaning dirty [TS]

00:07:46 ◼   ► dishes [TS]

00:07:48 ◼   ► I mean I just want to make sure that [TS]

00:07:49 ◼   ► they're they're very clean and they're [TS]

00:07:52 ◼   ► like yeah I've been watching you been [TS]

00:07:54 ◼   ► we've watched that one dish for three [TS]

00:07:56 ◼   ► minutes and I'm like yeah that's what it [TS]

00:07:58 ◼   ► takes three minutes dish [TS]

00:08:01 ◼   ► this is this a gun on the moon right and [TS]

00:08:04 ◼   ► you don't you don't get on the moon by [TS]

00:08:06 ◼   ► just watching some water around [TS]

00:08:07 ◼   ► no that's right you make sure every inch [TS]

00:08:10 ◼   ► of that dish is clean and molecular you [TS]

00:08:12 ◼   ► got the right stuff so I'm doing the [TS]

00:08:16 ◼   ► dishes i'm making my way through it the [TS]

00:08:17 ◼   ► problem with spending three minutes per [TS]

00:08:20 ◼   ► dish is that three-quarters of the way [TS]

00:08:22 ◼   ► through a big pile of dishes [TS]

00:08:23 ◼   ► your hands are fully saturated huh like [TS]

00:08:27 ◼   ► my hands were like look but you know on [TS]

00:08:33 ◼   ► on on I go right [TS]

00:08:36 ◼   ► Semper Fi yeah dude I and uh and it was [TS]

00:08:40 ◼   ► it was it was it was super gratified but [TS]

00:08:44 ◼   ► it was some there was a visit is a [TS]

00:08:48 ◼   ► methodology and there's a way you know [TS]

00:08:50 ◼   ► there's like a every house has a [TS]

00:08:52 ◼   ► different style [TS]

00:08:54 ◼   ► oh so different you know and so I'm [TS]

00:08:57 ◼   ► stacking them up over here but that's [TS]

00:08:58 ◼   ► not where they go when you start with [TS]

00:09:00 ◼   ► something as simple as bottoms up [TS]

00:09:02 ◼   ► bottoms down [TS]

00:09:03 ◼   ► that's the or you know you get into [TS]

00:09:05 ◼   ► stuff like what-what silver silverware [TS]

00:09:07 ◼   ► makes sense to go to this place like [TS]

00:09:09 ◼   ► that why would you keep your knives [TS]

00:09:11 ◼   ► there [TS]

00:09:11 ◼   ► but I think bottoms up bottoms down i [TS]

00:09:13 ◼   ► used to be a used to be a bottoms-up [TS]

00:09:14 ◼   ► person and now i think those people are [TS]

00:09:16 ◼   ► monsters [TS]

00:09:17 ◼   ► if you wash cup why would you put the [TS]

00:09:20 ◼   ► lip of the cup on the filthy like when [TS]

00:09:24 ◼   ► you put it away like would you put it in [TS]

00:09:25 ◼   ► the cupboard like lip down that's that's [TS]

00:09:29 ◼   ► so gross don't talk about well I know it [TS]

00:09:34 ◼   ► all too well because i am a bottoms-up [TS]

00:09:36 ◼   ► person interesting it's time for this [TS]

00:09:39 ◼   ► country to come together [TS]

00:09:41 ◼   ► why why would you put a coffee mug in [TS]

00:09:44 ◼   ► the cupboard where all of the detritus [TS]

00:09:48 ◼   ► that falls from the sky [TS]

00:09:49 ◼   ► I see me what you're worried about [TS]

00:09:51 ◼   ► gravity plus the Flies mm and the like [TS]

00:09:56 ◼   ► geckos yeah like anything that wants to [TS]

00:09:59 ◼   ► get out of the night geckos [TS]

00:10:01 ◼   ► well shit the with the woofers and [TS]

00:10:03 ◼   ► tweeters come out of your speakers in [TS]

00:10:04 ◼   ► the middle of the night and they're [TS]

00:10:05 ◼   ► going around licking all the rims [TS]

00:10:07 ◼   ► that's what they do they like the rims [TS]

00:10:09 ◼   ► they climb into your cups and pots [TS]

00:10:10 ◼   ► stander back into the speakers in the [TS]

00:10:13 ◼   ► morning before you get down [TS]

00:10:15 ◼   ► yeah yeah so no you put the lips down [TS]

00:10:17 ◼   ► and then all that stuff they're just you [TS]

00:10:20 ◼   ► know they're like all you see them all [TS]

00:10:22 ◼   ► the geckos know the tweeters they're all [TS]

00:10:25 ◼   ► like clawing at the cop let me and let [TS]

00:10:27 ◼   ► me in i want to get on the get in the [TS]

00:10:30 ◼   ► cabins like sorry buddy but up [TS]

00:10:32 ◼   ► mhm now at that particular event was [TS]

00:10:36 ◼   ► there was there a sense that somebody [TS]

00:10:39 ◼   ► will take care of this [TS]

00:10:40 ◼   ► no because that there was some times [TS]

00:10:43 ◼   ► that that's what happens when you get an [TS]

00:10:44 ◼   ► event like that is and get you actually [TS]

00:10:46 ◼   ► this does there's a thread that runs [TS]

00:10:48 ◼   ► through all of this which is like being [TS]

00:10:49 ◼   ► around people who have just as strong [TS]

00:10:52 ◼   ► feeling about how to do this as you do [TS]

00:10:55 ◼   ► and it's very very different like a [TS]

00:10:57 ◼   ► different feeling about how this should [TS]

00:10:58 ◼   ► go [TS]

00:10:59 ◼   ► you don't mean I do like there's always [TS]

00:11:02 ◼   ► there who's like never watched edition [TS]

00:11:04 ◼   ► their life they're like they're gonna [TS]

00:11:05 ◼   ► think that's in front that's an attack [TS]

00:11:06 ◼   ► that's a punishment [TS]

00:11:08 ◼   ► OIC doing dishes just any of it just me [TS]

00:11:11 ◼   ► or whether it's going to the meeting [TS]

00:11:12 ◼   ► where they talk for literally 45 minutes [TS]

00:11:14 ◼   ► about how to deal with the fact that the [TS]

00:11:16 ◼   ► chickens are pooping in the yard and [TS]

00:11:17 ◼   ► gets on the children shoes I did feel [TS]

00:11:19 ◼   ► like that was a punishment [TS]

00:11:20 ◼   ► mmm [TS]

00:11:21 ◼   ► then see the first party I went to the [TS]

00:11:23 ◼   ► NAG guy meg I was the one that was like [TS]

00:11:27 ◼   ► well your mom doesn't live here [TS]

00:11:29 ◼   ► hmm where I was like all right pal but [TS]

00:11:34 ◼   ► the second one it's like we're gonna [TS]

00:11:36 ◼   ► wear a dinner party and its fancy fancy [TS]

00:11:40 ◼   ► enough we're making our own pasta [TS]

00:11:43 ◼   ► wow I'm not gonna be the one that's [TS]

00:11:46 ◼   ► sitting in the chair a pretending that [TS]

00:11:49 ◼   ► retained a nap when the dishes need to [TS]

00:11:51 ◼   ► get washed [TS]

00:11:52 ◼   ► you know i'm not going to be the ones [TS]

00:11:53 ◼   ► like huh what does not just take care of [TS]

00:11:56 ◼   ► itself you know you're trying to get [TS]

00:11:58 ◼   ► called on in class like not like noticed [TS]

00:12:00 ◼   ► yeah you don't want to be that you want [TS]

00:12:01 ◼   ► to be the one that's like way that's a [TS]

00:12:02 ◼   ► step ahead of the game i can't let me [TS]

00:12:04 ◼   ► get in there and get me to take care of [TS]

00:12:05 ◼   ► that sin there's the guy that I've been [TS]

00:12:07 ◼   ► which is a seems only slightly better [TS]

00:12:10 ◼   ► but is actually much worse which is um [TS]

00:12:12 ◼   ► you guys want me to do the dishes but no [TS]

00:12:15 ◼   ► no you relax somebody else such as the [TS]

00:12:17 ◼   ► dishes never asked what does somebody [TS]

00:12:20 ◼   ► want me to get more beer [TS]

00:12:22 ◼   ► no don't know you just you just you just [TS]

00:12:24 ◼   ► sit here and play DJ oh that's right [TS]

00:12:28 ◼   ► that is a job tho never cursed me to be [TS]

00:12:31 ◼   ► DJ really uh no I leave that to people [TS]

00:12:37 ◼   ► that have strong feelings about being DJ [TS]

00:12:38 ◼   ► em but when I'm appointed DJ hmm then [TS]

00:12:44 ◼   ► look out the roof is coming off this [TS]

00:12:46 ◼   ► party mhm I mean I love being DJ I'm [TS]

00:12:49 ◼   ► just not gonna I'm not gonna stand in [TS]

00:12:51 ◼   ► line to be DJ and I'm not gonna sit [TS]

00:12:54 ◼   ► there and you know like I'm not unzip my [TS]

00:12:56 ◼   ► pants m to be DJ ok i was a little bit [TS]

00:13:00 ◼   ► here oh my niece's wedding a couple [TS]

00:13:02 ◼   ► years ago because I was the only person [TS]

00:13:03 ◼   ► who had such great heights on the phone [TS]

00:13:05 ◼   ► oh that's nothing which we live in now [TS]

00:13:08 ◼   ► is likely there's a caller to call out [TS]

00:13:09 ◼   ► the the bride is a couple drinks she [TS]

00:13:12 ◼   ► really wants to hear such great heights [TS]

00:13:13 ◼   ► and they are oddly enough the DJ didn't [TS]

00:13:15 ◼   ► have it [TS]

00:13:15 ◼   ► this is a call to all mhm um she was a [TS]

00:13:20 ◼   ► whole she got a little tipsy and she was [TS]

00:13:23 ◼   ► like oh they're both guys hates her day [TS]

00:13:27 ◼   ► you know and you're like step size [TS]

00:13:31 ◼   ► inbee man is here actually gonna [TS]

00:13:35 ◼   ► constantly you district sleeps alone is [TS]

00:13:37 ◼   ► really good but that doesn't mean you [TS]

00:13:39 ◼   ► know what that that's kind of [TS]

00:13:41 ◼   ► lesser-known track but i think it's got [TS]

00:13:43 ◼   ► a lot of trooper who leases REM demos [TS]

00:13:45 ◼   ► have you ever heard [TS]

00:13:46 ◼   ► guided by voices all gather around i'm [TS]

00:13:50 ◼   ► going to show you guys how to kick at a [TS]

00:13:51 ◼   ► party set aside your chicken dance it [TS]

00:13:54 ◼   ► haha i would if i were if I were djing a [TS]

00:14:03 ◼   ► wedding i would just play god only knows [TS]

00:14:05 ◼   ► on permanent loop [TS]

00:14:06 ◼   ► oh that's a great choice you know you [TS]

00:14:09 ◼   ► don't know where that song ends so you [TS]

00:14:11 ◼   ► can just loop if you loop it properly [TS]

00:14:13 ◼   ► just keep going yeah he totally could [TS]

00:14:16 ◼   ► and maybe people would notice but you [TS]

00:14:18 ◼   ► know i have a this is I guess kind of a [TS]

00:14:19 ◼   ► bit but i have a problem with wedding [TS]

00:14:22 ◼   ► djs it's like every part of the getting [TS]

00:14:25 ◼   ► married industry it has a great gaping [TS]

00:14:28 ◼   ► maw and giant teeth and you think it's [TS]

00:14:31 ◼   ► gonna be a friendly dragon you think [TS]

00:14:32 ◼   ► like they say oh you know we can make [TS]

00:14:34 ◼   ► these petty fours just the way you want [TS]

00:14:36 ◼   ► the buttercreams gonna be exactly like [TS]

00:14:38 ◼   ► your dreams and you know it's like no no [TS]

00:14:42 ◼   ► the ER and never forget this Miami my [TS]

00:14:44 ◼   ► primary high school girlfriend got [TS]

00:14:46 ◼   ► married and went to your wedding [TS]

00:14:48 ◼   ► the German secondary high school program [TS]

00:14:49 ◼   ► i had secondary and tertiary high school [TS]

00:14:51 ◼   ► girlfriends but my primary high school [TS]

00:14:52 ◼   ► girlfriend was kinda nuts aren't [TS]

00:14:54 ◼   ► watching body but I went to her wedding [TS]

00:14:56 ◼   ► and and she had been like super clear [TS]

00:15:00 ◼   ► with the DJ about a few things and like [TS]

00:15:04 ◼   ► she you know you know everybody is [TS]

00:15:06 ◼   ► whether you're given birth [TS]

00:15:07 ◼   ► we're getting married you're making a [TS]

00:15:08 ◼   ► website you got certain things you have [TS]

00:15:10 ◼   ► like not that much of a feeling about a [TS]

00:15:12 ◼   ► couple things we like I really want to [TS]

00:15:14 ◼   ► have this one thing I wanted dancing [TS]

00:15:15 ◼   ► panda and head of the page and then you [TS]

00:15:17 ◼   ► might have some things we go like I [TS]

00:15:18 ◼   ► really it's so important to me above all [TS]

00:15:21 ◼   ► else that these things not happen right [TS]

00:15:23 ◼   ► away no rhinoceroses know and she said [TS]

00:15:27 ◼   ► she's looked into his eyes and said I i [TS]

00:15:30 ◼   ► am the bride [TS]

00:15:32 ◼   ► hey and here's here's here's a very [TS]

00:15:35 ◼   ► serves two things she's like I want you [TS]

00:15:37 ◼   ► to play at one point I'm gonna want you [TS]

00:15:40 ◼   ► to play melt with you modern English [TS]

00:15:43 ◼   ► would be [TS]

00:15:44 ◼   ► got the original or the the what the [TS]

00:15:46 ◼   ► original no I given given one of my [TS]

00:15:50 ◼   ► primary high school girlfriend it was it [TS]

00:15:51 ◼   ► was definitely be the yeah the original [TS]

00:15:53 ◼   ► you remember you remember they came out [TS]

00:15:55 ◼   ► with it again like two years later [TS]

00:15:57 ◼   ► bringing on the heartbreak [TS]

00:15:59 ◼   ► that's right that's right that's right [TS]

00:16:01 ◼   ► when they came out the next record they [TS]

00:16:02 ◼   ► think of me like think a lot of people [TS]

00:16:04 ◼   ► would listen to the original bringing on [TS]

00:16:06 ◼   ► the heartbreak and be kind of maybe even [TS]

00:16:08 ◼   ► confused because it doesn't have the [TS]

00:16:10 ◼   ► keyboard and stuff on it rite of the [TS]

00:16:12 ◼   ► second it's much more about the John [TS]

00:16:14 ◼   ► John John you know what I mean to do is [TS]

00:16:17 ◼   ► it's a different song and I think are [TS]

00:16:19 ◼   ► the request i see i remember her [TS]

00:16:20 ◼   ► enjoying the chicken dance but I feel [TS]

00:16:22 ◼   ► like she said something there was some [TS]

00:16:24 ◼   ► kind of one of those things that every [TS]

00:16:26 ◼   ► DJ does unless for the sake of this [TS]

00:16:28 ◼   ► argument let's say it's the chicken [TS]

00:16:29 ◼   ► dance [TS]

00:16:29 ◼   ► she was the chicken big pop up above a [TS]

00:16:34 ◼   ► bump and this dance that goes with that [TS]

00:16:36 ◼   ► we flap your arms you ever done a [TS]

00:16:37 ◼   ► chicken dance [TS]

00:16:38 ◼   ► what you see you sweating and you've [TS]

00:16:41 ◼   ► never done a chicken dance [TS]

00:16:42 ◼   ► this feels like a very regional idea of [TS]

00:16:45 ◼   ► how to marry another person it's kinda [TS]

00:16:48 ◼   ► like suburban moral stance we really [TS]

00:16:49 ◼   ► gotta get back to more stances simple [TS]

00:16:50 ◼   ► this is a masquerade nothing [TS]

00:16:52 ◼   ► it's like a macro and thinking how green [TS]

00:16:53 ◼   ► is like a wedding thing now I see the [TS]

00:16:56 ◼   ► only reason i am said macaroni the thing [TS]

00:16:58 ◼   ► is that somehow I knew that it was a [TS]

00:16:59 ◼   ► wedding thing but I don't know about [TS]

00:17:00 ◼   ► chicken pants okay i don't know from [TS]

00:17:02 ◼   ► chicken dances yeah but you know but you [TS]

00:17:05 ◼   ► know how to DJ at a wedding this i mean [TS]

00:17:06 ◼   ► no disrespect to the industry of wedding [TS]

00:17:08 ◼   ► teaches i'm sure they're hard-working [TS]

00:17:09 ◼   ► people but they do have a way they like [TS]

00:17:12 ◼   ► to do things and they got a bit somebody [TS]

00:17:13 ◼   ► has on microphone and they start running [TS]

00:17:15 ◼   ► things and they become the over-the-top [TS]

00:17:18 ◼   ► like drive time DJ person who mcs your [TS]

00:17:22 ◼   ► wedding and tells everybody when it's [TS]

00:17:24 ◼   ► time to do what some people really like [TS]

00:17:26 ◼   ► that but looking I'm sorry to interrupt [TS]

00:17:29 ◼   ► now please [TS]

00:17:30 ◼   ► I don't really go anywhere with this [TS]

00:17:31 ◼   ► like some time just talk about sadness [TS]

00:17:32 ◼   ► well but i need the bride very sad [TS]

00:17:35 ◼   ► because because you played the fucking [TS]

00:17:36 ◼   ► chicken dance and he did not even have a [TS]

00:17:39 ◼   ► copy of modern English's mail with you [TS]

00:17:41 ◼   ► which seems unconscionable to me [TS]

00:17:42 ◼   ► well if you asked for specifically the [TS]

00:17:44 ◼   ► soup yeah good I I guess have not been [TS]

00:17:49 ◼   ► to a lot of weddings [TS]

00:17:50 ◼   ► ok and that may seem that may seem [TS]

00:17:52 ◼   ► strange right you and I'm not gonna take [TS]

00:17:55 ◼   ► that seems very strange because you are [TS]

00:17:56 ◼   ► an event [TS]

00:17:57 ◼   ► and you get invited to a lot of things [TS]

00:17:59 ◼   ► you go to a lot of things [TS]

00:18:00 ◼   ► yeah it seems you would have been 240 [TS]

00:18:04 ◼   ► weddings [TS]

00:18:06 ◼   ► yes ice I you know like I I can see [TS]

00:18:10 ◼   ► where it might seem like that [TS]

00:18:11 ◼   ► okay but I have performed as the [TS]

00:18:15 ◼   ► officiant at but let's say a dozen [TS]

00:18:21 ◼   ► wedding [TS]

00:18:22 ◼   ► no kidding i have officiated a dozen [TS]

00:18:25 ◼   ► weddings including a couple of weddings [TS]

00:18:29 ◼   ► of people very close to me I the drummer [TS]

00:18:31 ◼   ► of the long winters I efficient his [TS]

00:18:33 ◼   ► wedding I officiated me or my nabil [TS]

00:18:36 ◼   ► seals was officiated Nick Harmer's [TS]

00:18:39 ◼   ► wedding the bass player of death kappa [TS]

00:18:40 ◼   ► cute [TS]

00:18:41 ◼   ► wow I appreciate i have officiated a lot [TS]

00:18:45 ◼   ► of weddings but i have not been to many [TS]

00:18:49 ◼   ► weddings where I wasn't officiated haha [TS]

00:18:53 ◼   ► kinda night going to PTA meetings if I [TS]

00:18:55 ◼   ► may say mmm right you don't you're [TS]

00:18:58 ◼   ► experiencing this in a very different [TS]

00:18:59 ◼   ► way than most people [TS]

00:19:01 ◼   ► yeah right i mean and so so I've always [TS]

00:19:04 ◼   ► felt a little bit of responsibility for [TS]

00:19:06 ◼   ► the wedding going going well [TS]

00:19:09 ◼   ► absolutely uh but that responsibility [TS]

00:19:12 ◼   ► ends when they say i do and like I don't [TS]

00:19:21 ◼   ► have any sense of what the wedding djs [TS]

00:19:24 ◼   ► doing past that point but all of the [TS]

00:19:27 ◼   ► weddings I've really all the ones I've [TS]

00:19:29 ◼   ► ever been to have been indie-rock [TS]

00:19:32 ◼   ► weddings where like same beam was the [TS]

00:19:40 ◼   ► music so lets you know what sort of [TS]

00:19:43 ◼   ► unconventional well yeah there's not if [TS]

00:19:46 ◼   ► there's a DJ it's someone that we all [TS]

00:19:49 ◼   ► know right like it's it's like Chris [TS]

00:19:52 ◼   ► wall or something right [TS]

00:19:54 ◼   ► and why would that be a great wedding DJ [TS]

00:19:56 ◼   ► right yeah no chicken dance tho puku and [TS]

00:20:01 ◼   ► also dated checks from david bowie's [TS]

00:20:03 ◼   ► Berlin period it is like down waiting [TS]

00:20:08 ◼   ► for little sound and vision ever [TS]

00:20:10 ◼   ► buddy dance it's just music for airports [TS]

00:20:12 ◼   ► and what ball inside 1 is over but he [TS]

00:20:16 ◼   ► lets the needle run for a minute because [TS]

00:20:18 ◼   ► this far as my hair [TS]

00:20:19 ◼   ► bom bom bom-bom so I really gets rocking [TS]

00:20:25 ◼   ► I have no idea at all what a [TS]

00:20:29 ◼   ► conventional wedding is like and I'm [TS]

00:20:31 ◼   ► kidding that's so interesting to me i [TS]

00:20:33 ◼   ► hear people talk about them and I hear [TS]

00:20:35 ◼   ► that you know and I hear about [TS]

00:20:37 ◼   ► bridezillas and I hear that a that drunk [TS]

00:20:41 ◼   ► rooms and I look at pictures sometimes [TS]

00:20:44 ◼   ► online of wedding parties and I think [TS]

00:20:46 ◼   ► why are they dressed like that and I [TS]

00:20:48 ◼   ► hear that weddings are very expensive [TS]

00:20:50 ◼   ► and that they're very stressful for [TS]

00:20:52 ◼   ► people like I I know about weddings [TS]

00:20:57 ◼   ► ok but either i don't get invited to [TS]

00:21:00 ◼   ► them uh well conventional weddings or [TS]

00:21:07 ◼   ► maybe I have been invited to them and I [TS]

00:21:09 ◼   ► didn't open the evite because I don't [TS]

00:21:11 ◼   ► open invites now that that's good policy [TS]

00:21:14 ◼   ► um they were all together hitch up on [TS]

00:21:16 ◼   ► facebook you know what I'm you know the [TS]

00:21:18 ◼   ► thing is if you send me any bite who you [TS]

00:21:20 ◼   ► don't have my phone number to text me [TS]

00:21:22 ◼   ► and say why don't you open my evite [TS]

00:21:25 ◼   ► there should be a name for this you [TS]

00:21:26 ◼   ► don't know your name for this phenomenon [TS]

00:21:28 ◼   ► right [TS]

00:21:30 ◼   ► don't you think i mean like i have [TS]

00:21:32 ◼   ► weddings but there should be a name for [TS]

00:21:33 ◼   ► this phenomenon haha GG almost got me [TS]

00:21:35 ◼   ► there if you really if you really knew [TS]

00:21:38 ◼   ► me you would never have sent us it's [TS]

00:21:40 ◼   ► like a canary trap [TS]

00:21:41 ◼   ► yeah yeah yeahs an evite when an evite [TS]

00:21:44 ◼   ► arrives in my inbox I i scan who it's [TS]

00:21:48 ◼   ► from [TS]

00:21:49 ◼   ► I make a mental note that person wants [TS]

00:21:51 ◼   ► something once we'd either attend [TS]

00:21:54 ◼   ► something or want something for me and [TS]

00:21:56 ◼   ► then I await a second communication i [TS]

00:21:59 ◼   ► see like a warning shot [TS]

00:22:01 ◼   ► yeah that's right like alright alright [TS]

00:22:03 ◼   ► Teddy I saw that you sent me bite [TS]

00:22:06 ◼   ► let's let's see how serious you are [TS]

00:22:09 ◼   ► about this i got a very I got a very [TS]

00:22:12 ◼   ► terse email from uh from a bride not [TS]

00:22:16 ◼   ► very long ago saying reply to my email [TS]

00:22:20 ◼   ► and I said but I I can't find it [TS]

00:22:26 ◼   ► oh and she said you bastard [TS]

00:22:30 ◼   ► mmm it is hard enough to put automatic [TS]

00:22:33 ◼   ► this is hard enough without forty [TS]

00:22:39 ◼   ► percent of the people i know not sending [TS]

00:22:42 ◼   ► the card back in a self-addressed stamp [TS]

00:22:45 ◼   ► card right and then I send emails to [TS]

00:22:49 ◼   ► that forty percent and fully twenty [TS]

00:22:51 ◼   ► percent don't reply to the email oh my [TS]

00:22:53 ◼   ► goodness and then I text that twenty [TS]

00:22:56 ◼   ► percent and here you and I are standing [TS]

00:23:00 ◼   ► standing on to like a two tiny little [TS]

00:23:06 ◼   ► roadrunner plateaus in a bit but the [TS]

00:23:10 ◼   ► skies turn red and the ground isn't [TS]

00:23:13 ◼   ► inflamed and more quality in terms [TS]

00:23:14 ◼   ► though it's more like she has to go [TS]

00:23:16 ◼   ► door-to-door and like stand there while [TS]

00:23:18 ◼   ► you're obviously she can see your shadow [TS]

00:23:20 ◼   ► on the screen look you're obviously [TS]

00:23:20 ◼   ► standing there like open the fucking [TS]

00:23:22 ◼   ► door [TS]

00:23:23 ◼   ► but why and now you're on the here [TS]

00:23:27 ◼   ► it felt so bad for I felt badly because [TS]

00:23:32 ◼   ► I understand in a lot of cases that i [TS]

00:23:36 ◼   ► meant to know better [TS]

00:23:41 ◼   ► Wow back tilt we don't know better [TS]

00:23:46 ◼   ► all by way of saying that i have never [TS]

00:23:50 ◼   ► been to a wedding in an event space [TS]

00:23:52 ◼   ► where the where the bride didn't know [TS]

00:23:55 ◼   ► the DJ already as a friend so I don't [TS]

00:23:59 ◼   ► know what I don't know from even from [TS]

00:24:01 ◼   ► Mac arena [TS]

00:24:02 ◼   ► I don't know from I don't know from but [TS]

00:24:05 ◼   ► I always know the parents of the of the [TS]

00:24:08 ◼   ► people already like a so I can't believe [TS]

00:24:13 ◼   ► that at my advanced age i'm sitting here [TS]

00:24:16 ◼   ► thinking about it I can't think of a [TS]

00:24:19 ◼   ► wedding I've been to in 25 years that [TS]

00:24:22 ◼   ► didn't have some where I didn't either [TS]

00:24:27 ◼   ► know every single person there or where [TS]

00:24:29 ◼   ► it wasn't like being held [TS]

00:24:32 ◼   ► a rowboat or something you know so this [TS]

00:24:39 ◼   ► episode of Roderick on the line is [TS]

00:24:40 ◼   ► brought to you by braintree code for [TS]

00:24:43 ◼   ► easy mobile payments to learn more about [TS]

00:24:46 ◼   ► braintree right now by going to [TS]

00:24:47 ◼   ► braintree payments dot-com / supertrain [TS]

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00:25:54 ◼   ► our thanks to braintree for supporting [TS]

00:25:56 ◼   ► rod on the line and all the great shows [TS]

00:25:59 ◼   ► so so i'm i'm i'm so divorced from from [TS]

00:26:05 ◼   ► what the from this whole not just the [TS]

00:26:07 ◼   ► wedding culture but like the like what [TS]

00:26:09 ◼   ► everyone must have gone everyone i know [TS]

00:26:11 ◼   ► that's married that I don't know well [TS]

00:26:13 ◼   ► enough to have been there but they must [TS]

00:26:14 ◼   ► have gone through [TS]

00:26:15 ◼   ► well it's it's butterly fraud because [TS]

00:26:17 ◼   ► everything you're saying is true and as [TS]

00:26:21 ◼   ► usual [TS]

00:26:22 ◼   ► yeah sure and and and so one thing about [TS]

00:26:27 ◼   ► this is everything you're describing is [TS]

00:26:28 ◼   ► true and ever thus it's been I assume [TS]

00:26:31 ◼   ► like it is costly it is complicated it's [TS]

00:26:33 ◼   ► emotionally difficult because there's a [TS]

00:26:37 ◼   ► certain kind of like [TS]

00:26:40 ◼   ► class sorting you have to be the sorting [TS]

00:26:43 ◼   ► hat for all these different people and [TS]

00:26:46 ◼   ► decide all kinds of things like and you [TS]

00:26:48 ◼   ► see this for example with table [TS]

00:26:49 ◼   ► arrangements for you to start like who's [TS]

00:26:51 ◼   ► at what table and how you're going to [TS]

00:26:52 ◼   ► mix that up and there's this constant [TS]

00:26:54 ◼   ► type but I guess what I think in general [TS]

00:26:56 ◼   ► is constant tightrope walk on the one [TS]

00:26:58 ◼   ► hand like you think is what you think [TS]

00:27:00 ◼   ► those weddings are like is probably not [TS]

00:27:02 ◼   ► far off what they're like [TS]

00:27:04 ◼   ► because a lot of our sense of what we [TS]

00:27:06 ◼   ► get about wedding what wedding should be [TS]

00:27:08 ◼   ► is from TV's and movies and from other [TS]

00:27:10 ◼   ► weddings we've been to so on the one [TS]

00:27:13 ◼   ► hand there's this pressure to like put [TS]

00:27:15 ◼   ► on this thing for your family and to [TS]

00:27:16 ◼   ► extend your friends that was really in a [TS]

00:27:19 ◼   ► lot of ways weddings are about everybody [TS]

00:27:21 ◼   ► but you [TS]

00:27:22 ◼   ► they're just like funerals yeah that's [TS]

00:27:24 ◼   ► what they're not for the living [TS]

00:27:25 ◼   ► that's that's a very very good point but [TS]

00:27:28 ◼   ► it isn't someone is really about [TS]

00:27:29 ◼   ► throwing a party that's going to be this [TS]

00:27:32 ◼   ► satisfying our ritual for all the [TS]

00:27:36 ◼   ► important people in your life you have [TS]

00:27:38 ◼   ► to whether you want to or not you kind [TS]

00:27:40 ◼   ► of have to think about stepping on toes [TS]

00:27:41 ◼   ► like thinking about like okay is is [TS]

00:27:45 ◼   ► divorced dad going to be here and [TS]

00:27:47 ◼   ► divorce mom going to be there and is is [TS]

00:27:49 ◼   ► she going to bring her boyfriend all [TS]

00:27:52 ◼   ► that kind of the drinks he drinks right [TS]

00:27:53 ◼   ► who drinks and then who's gonna walk her [TS]

00:27:56 ◼   ► down the aisle and like she wants that [TS]

00:27:58 ◼   ► to be her decision she might want her [TS]

00:28:00 ◼   ► English professor to walk her down the [TS]

00:28:02 ◼   ► aisle but she can because divorce dad [TS]

00:28:03 ◼   ► will get mad and etc etc setup button so [TS]

00:28:06 ◼   ► but i think there's this line try to [TS]

00:28:08 ◼   ► walk like making it the big event for [TS]

00:28:10 ◼   ► the couple making it the pretentious [TS]

00:28:13 ◼   ► maybe even vaguely mumbo-jumbo religious [TS]

00:28:16 ◼   ► event probably for some of your family [TS]

00:28:18 ◼   ► but you're also constant tightrope is [TS]

00:28:20 ◼   ► also weighing that against like oh but I [TS]

00:28:22 ◼   ► don't want this to be a cliché I want [TS]

00:28:24 ◼   ► it and once I want mine to be different [TS]

00:28:26 ◼   ► so we're going to write our own vows and [TS]

00:28:28 ◼   ► these days almost everybody raised their [TS]

00:28:29 ◼   ► own valves or you know what I mean [TS]

00:28:30 ◼   ► there's something about it you're going [TS]

00:28:32 ◼   ► to do the flowers in this different way [TS]

00:28:33 ◼   ► and it all at all costs money it all [TS]

00:28:35 ◼   ► takes time and I'll takes resources so I [TS]

00:28:38 ◼   ► mean it is it's is I mean like for [TS]

00:28:40 ◼   ► example my niece for whom I was the [TS]

00:28:42 ◼   ► efficient in the only wedding she could [TS]

00:28:44 ◼   ► not have been more mellow about the [TS]

00:28:46 ◼   ► whole thing to wear it was like I was [TS]

00:28:48 ◼   ► the one emailing her like so is this ok [TS]

00:28:49 ◼   ► it's alright just not be fine [TS]

00:28:51 ◼   ► like make it a little bit like the [TS]

00:28:53 ◼   ► spiritual or something [TS]

00:28:54 ◼   ► and I was like okay a little bit of Book [TS]

00:28:56 ◼   ► of Common Prayer funny anecdote where [TS]

00:28:59 ◼   ► some nice shoes with all the Bible was [TS]

00:29:01 ◼   ► written is that right yeah yeah we're [TS]

00:29:04 ◼   ► sumbitches chill just don't where's more [TS]

00:29:06 ◼   ► religious stuff they got animal stories [TS]

00:29:08 ◼   ► they got fire [TS]

00:29:09 ◼   ► that's right that's right there's some [TS]

00:29:11 ◼   ► there's a lot of adventure hydrant magic [TS]

00:29:13 ◼   ► john is like magic in the Bible they are [TS]

00:29:14 ◼   ► gladiators gladiators get Wizards yeah [TS]

00:29:17 ◼   ► you gotta get healings you get fish just [TS]

00:29:20 ◼   ► throw a little bit more religious stuff [TS]

00:29:22 ◼   ► in there and we're good [TS]

00:29:23 ◼   ► you think that passes through like a [TS]

00:29:24 ◼   ► second draft and gets passed around the [TS]

00:29:25 ◼   ► writers room and like I like the loaves [TS]

00:29:28 ◼   ► and fishes but I'm not really seeing the [TS]

00:29:30 ◼   ► connection with God [TS]

00:29:31 ◼   ► well yeah I think it does i think each [TS]

00:29:33 ◼   ► one of the I think each one of the [TS]

00:29:34 ◼   ► writers had a little bit of leeway also [TS]

00:29:37 ◼   ► the Sadducees are coming across little [TS]

00:29:39 ◼   ► jewy to me we turn that down a little [TS]

00:29:40 ◼   ► bit but the thing is then you know then [TS]

00:29:43 ◼   ► it goes to committee right and it's the [TS]

00:29:45 ◼   ► council of nicea it takes it apart and [TS]

00:29:47 ◼   ► then Augustine's got other things to say [TS]

00:29:49 ◼   ► about you get the diet of worms it's and [TS]

00:29:51 ◼   ► takes a long time to get to get a script [TS]

00:29:53 ◼   ► into production [TS]

00:29:54 ◼   ► yeah all my gosh and then you get stuck [TS]

00:29:56 ◼   ► in turn around what is that right it's [TS]

00:29:58 ◼   ► an epic picture you're going to have to [TS]

00:30:00 ◼   ► get going to get a lot of hard to build [TS]

00:30:02 ◼   ► a set of Cleopatra twice because the [TS]

00:30:05 ◼   ► first one was they used metric instead [TS]

00:30:07 ◼   ► of instant alert three or four minute [TS]

00:30:10 ◼   ► youtube videos i'm not really sure but i [TS]

00:30:11 ◼   ► think something happened with a [TS]

00:30:13 ◼   ► elizabeth taylor got sick and then they [TS]

00:30:15 ◼   ► had to like use it for something else [TS]

00:30:17 ◼   ► and then rebuild the set and even though [TS]

00:30:18 ◼   ► it was the top movie of that year it [TS]

00:30:21 ◼   ► still didn't turn back turn back and [TS]

00:30:24 ◼   ► that's something that's inside talk [TS]

00:30:26 ◼   ► about some Hollywood we did not even [TS]

00:30:27 ◼   ► gotten into the whole gift conundrum [TS]

00:30:30 ◼   ► so like a lot of you with the wedding [TS]

00:30:32 ◼   ► yes a lot of people our wedding you want [TS]

00:30:33 ◼   ► to say hey don't give us gifts well you [TS]

00:30:35 ◼   ► know what turns out that's not actually [TS]

00:30:37 ◼   ► that cool thing to say because the thing [TS]

00:30:39 ◼   ► is you're on who loves you really wants [TS]

00:30:42 ◼   ► to not just give you something but wants [TS]

00:30:44 ◼   ► to give you something memorable your I [TS]

00:30:46 ◼   ► don't be unkind but you're kind of [TS]

00:30:47 ◼   ► denying them the chance to do something [TS]

00:30:48 ◼   ► that's important to them it's one of the [TS]

00:30:50 ◼   ► many bullets you have to take when [TS]

00:30:52 ◼   ► you're when you're getting married is up [TS]

00:30:54 ◼   ► to give you LOL you have to register you [TS]

00:30:56 ◼   ► don't have to but your entire family is [TS]

00:30:58 ◼   ► going to be like no like I really want [TS]

00:31:00 ◼   ► to get you something [TS]

00:31:01 ◼   ► yeah and then you gotta figure out a [TS]

00:31:03 ◼   ► range of prices you gotta put a big bang [TS]

00:31:05 ◼   ► on there so if you do something to do [TS]

00:31:07 ◼   ► we just want money towards our mortgage [TS]

00:31:08 ◼   ► like that might not go over all that [TS]

00:31:10 ◼   ► well someone like just pay for our [TS]

00:31:12 ◼   ► honeymoon that some people are doing [TS]

00:31:14 ◼   ► things like that you could pay off my [TS]

00:31:15 ◼   ► student debt [TS]

00:31:16 ◼   ► well yeah i wanna know yeah I could do [TS]

00:31:18 ◼   ► that but like candy some spoons or [TS]

00:31:20 ◼   ► something [TS]

00:31:21 ◼   ► spoons yeah I do that I some i think [TS]

00:31:24 ◼   ► somewhere with a long time ago I went to [TS]

00:31:27 ◼   ► one of the early weddings when I you [TS]

00:31:30 ◼   ► know but which I mean one of the first [TS]

00:31:32 ◼   ► ones ever was Abraham and Sarah uh-huh [TS]

00:31:35 ◼   ► uh-huh and uh and it was Abraham and [TS]

00:31:40 ◼   ► Mary are you telling me refresh sorry [TS]

00:31:42 ◼   ► top and they said we look for if that's [TS]

00:31:47 ◼   ► funny [TS]

00:31:48 ◼   ► ok your little one for that they they [TS]

00:31:50 ◼   ► said we don't want gifts this when so [TS]

00:31:54 ◼   ► different is that we don't want gifts [TS]

00:31:59 ◼   ► and so I took that tube bikes i took [TS]

00:32:02 ◼   ► that to be how weddings are and that I [TS]

00:32:05 ◼   ► just have always extended that to [TS]

00:32:07 ◼   ► everyone [TS]

00:32:07 ◼   ► ok alright so because I was the first [TS]

00:32:11 ◼   ► one I went to didn't want gifts [TS]

00:32:12 ◼   ► yeah why would any subsequent when it's [TS]

00:32:14 ◼   ► a little learning pattern and you [TS]

00:32:16 ◼   ► internalize they see that's my that's my [TS]

00:32:17 ◼   ► new pattern now I said it was supposedly [TS]

00:32:19 ◼   ► you get a year to give a gift that's the [TS]

00:32:21 ◼   ► conventional wisdom [TS]

00:32:22 ◼   ► oh so you want when I'm the hook one [TS]

00:32:26 ◼   ► wedding i went to i did give the bride [TS]

00:32:29 ◼   ► and groom very fancy matching gift [TS]

00:32:32 ◼   ► because I felt like I thought like the [TS]

00:32:37 ◼   ► groom had done many great [TS]

00:32:39 ◼   ► he he he had been a good friend over the [TS]

00:32:42 ◼   ► years and that this was a group this was [TS]

00:32:44 ◼   ► a a 0 a gift commensurate with the [TS]

00:32:48 ◼   ► amount of love that I felt who and and [TS]

00:32:54 ◼   ► the bride and groom received the gift [TS]

00:32:56 ◼   ► very you know like graciously like oh [TS]

00:33:00 ◼   ► thanks like that we receive a men's [TS]

00:33:03 ◼   ► wallet [TS]

00:33:04 ◼   ► we're here sort of like the way you if I [TS]

00:33:07 ◼   ► had handed them a casserole and when [TS]

00:33:10 ◼   ► they looked at the casserole it had [TS]

00:33:12 ◼   ► pasta but also like eminem top stitched [TS]

00:33:19 ◼   ► whatever like thanks like this is my [TS]

00:33:23 ◼   ► family was on you but I add a ska added [TS]

00:33:27 ◼   ► skills because it's because i love [TS]

00:33:29 ◼   ► skittles and then those gifts which were [TS]

00:33:34 ◼   ► you know which were pretty nice like it [TS]

00:33:37 ◼   ► was basically like here is here is a [TS]

00:33:40 ◼   ► taxidermy to ramshead there's only one [TS]

00:33:44 ◼   ► place it can go over the mantel right [TS]

00:33:47 ◼   ► you don't give you don't take a [TS]

00:33:48 ◼   ► taxidermy man rams head and put it in [TS]

00:33:50 ◼   ► the downstairs bathroom it comes it's [TS]

00:33:52 ◼   ► like one ramshead in 10 assumptions [TS]

00:33:54 ◼   ► yeah right well sure first of all that [TS]

00:33:56 ◼   ► you want to ram set and second that [TS]

00:33:57 ◼   ► you're gonna you're gonna put it up if [TS]

00:33:58 ◼   ► you're gonna put it up right this whole [TS]

00:34:00 ◼   ► chain of dependencies like that gives [TS]

00:34:01 ◼   ► you if i give you a ram said you're [TS]

00:34:03 ◼   ► gonna be moving some shit around [TS]

00:34:04 ◼   ► yeah like Jason fan of the President of [TS]

00:34:06 ◼   ► the United States of America hasn't a [TS]

00:34:08 ◼   ► great number of platinum albums because [TS]

00:34:11 ◼   ► the president the united states of [TS]

00:34:12 ◼   ► america went platinum their their first [TS]

00:34:16 ◼   ► album went platinum in like 50 countries [TS]

00:34:19 ◼   ► or something I know they have let me [TS]

00:34:20 ◼   ► know they're platinum records from [TS]

00:34:22 ◼   ► Uzbekistan [TS]

00:34:23 ◼   ► huh there were multiple multiple [TS]

00:34:25 ◼   ► platinum records for them in australia [TS]

00:34:29 ◼   ► new zealand canada and europe and [TS]

00:34:31 ◼   ► america like and then known that and the [TS]

00:34:33 ◼   ► the new style of that is instead of one [TS]

00:34:36 ◼   ► big vinyl platinum record in a frame [TS]

00:34:39 ◼   ► it's like a frame with five CDs I think [TS]

00:34:43 ◼   ► that you just have to re-authenticate [TS]

00:34:44 ◼   ► with the itunes store you download your [TS]

00:34:46 ◼   ► record up you download your get your war [TS]

00:34:49 ◼   ► you record but so Jason would Jason you [TS]

00:34:53 ◼   ► know he's not somebody that's going to [TS]

00:34:54 ◼   ► put a big platinum record on in his [TS]

00:34:56 ◼   ► living he's got paintings [TS]

00:34:58 ◼   ► yeah he's got a lot of fantastic art a [TS]

00:35:00 ◼   ► great art collection he's not gonna he's [TS]

00:35:01 ◼   ► not going to even just have one of them [TS]

00:35:03 ◼   ► right like the best one I don't know [TS]

00:35:05 ◼   ► what the best one was if you had a [TS]

00:35:07 ◼   ► platinum record from Uzbekistan if I had [TS]

00:35:09 ◼   ► one [TS]

00:35:09 ◼   ► forget it front and center no question [TS]

00:35:12 ◼   ► other and their be the spotlights on it [TS]

00:35:14 ◼   ► but if you wanted to see any of the like [TS]

00:35:18 ◼   ► Jason kept them in the downstairs [TS]

00:35:19 ◼   ► bathroom right because he's like what am [TS]

00:35:22 ◼   ► I gonna do with all these planet record [TS]

00:35:23 ◼   ► and and they weren't all on display [TS]

00:35:25 ◼   ► right it was just like sort of all the [TS]

00:35:27 ◼   ► little put this here and then a couple [TS]

00:35:29 ◼   ► of them in a box [TS]

00:35:30 ◼   ► something there's you know we use one as [TS]

00:35:31 ◼   ► a we put one on the on the coffee table [TS]

00:35:34 ◼   ► and that's in the garage though you know [TS]

00:35:36 ◼   ► the coffee table that's like stacked in [TS]

00:35:38 ◼   ► the garage anyway that's not what you're [TS]

00:35:41 ◼   ► going to do if somebody gives you a [TS]

00:35:42 ◼   ► taxidermied ramshead it's not gonna fit [TS]

00:35:44 ◼   ► in the downstairs bathroom there's one [TS]

00:35:45 ◼   ► spot for and so I gave them the i gave [TS]

00:35:49 ◼   ► the bride and groom this lovely gift and [TS]

00:35:50 ◼   ► it just went away I never heard about it [TS]

00:35:53 ◼   ► again still haven't about it don't know [TS]

00:35:56 ◼   ► where it is it's in the world somewhere [TS]

00:35:57 ◼   ► i'm assuming it's not didn't go [TS]

00:36:00 ◼   ► immediately into the fire [TS]

00:36:02 ◼   ► I it has intrinsic value not just not [TS]

00:36:06 ◼   ► just like friend value it's like a thing [TS]

00:36:08 ◼   ► you could pawn and it feels like the [TS]

00:36:10 ◼   ► kind of gift that lots of families [TS]

00:36:13 ◼   ► actually one of my favorite holiday [TS]

00:36:14 ◼   ► traditions in some families is like the [TS]

00:36:15 ◼   ► the weird gift that gets really gifted [TS]

00:36:18 ◼   ► every year [TS]

00:36:19 ◼   ► mm you run into this cheesecake are the [TS]

00:36:22 ◼   ► three cubed fruit cake with fruit cake [TS]

00:36:24 ◼   ► yeah we had an inflatable hammer in my [TS]

00:36:26 ◼   ► family that went around every year but [TS]

00:36:28 ◼   ► my friend Richard that a quasi-religious [TS]

00:36:30 ◼   ► skipped the season is did you hide it [TS]

00:36:32 ◼   ► under a bushel my friend Richard day I [TS]

00:36:38 ◼   ► don't know how this thing started [TS]

00:36:39 ◼   ► because some kind of ugly gift and [TS]

00:36:40 ◼   ► basically when you're given that gift [TS]

00:36:42 ◼   ► then you have to add something to it [TS]

00:36:45 ◼   ► like hot glue something to it and then [TS]

00:36:46 ◼   ► give it to somebody else the next year [TS]

00:36:48 ◼   ► and so the weirdness accumulates every [TS]

00:36:50 ◼   ► year and it gets weirder and stupider [TS]

00:36:51 ◼   ► every year and I apparently it's a real [TS]

00:36:53 ◼   ► joy of the bucket right family christmas [TS]

00:36:55 ◼   ► is a great idea [TS]

00:36:57 ◼   ► are you gonna see that I bet that you [TS]

00:36:58 ◼   ► know what that might be in Martha [TS]

00:37:00 ◼   ► Stewart or real simple at this point but [TS]

00:37:01 ◼   ► I think that's I think that's a good [TS]

00:37:02 ◼   ► idea as a as a gift idea what you think [TS]

00:37:06 ◼   ► that the Rams Head could be something [TS]

00:37:07 ◼   ► that you are you then maybe it's a [TS]

00:37:09 ◼   ► wedding gift that you keep passing on [TS]

00:37:10 ◼   ► other people [TS]

00:37:11 ◼   ► it was like out of a kind of ad hoc [TS]

00:37:12 ◼   ► monkey's paw that would have been fine [TS]

00:37:14 ◼   ► and fun if they had done that [TS]

00:37:17 ◼   ► yeah did you know I'm about it well [TS]

00:37:19 ◼   ► that's the problem i don't know enough [TS]

00:37:21 ◼   ► about weddings but I get a i get a sense [TS]

00:37:24 ◼   ► that i get a sense from my other from [TS]

00:37:27 ◼   ► all the many faux pas i have committed [TS]

00:37:30 ◼   ► in so many other areas of human life [TS]

00:37:33 ◼   ► yeah um that once you give someone a [TS]

00:37:36 ◼   ► gift you do not it does not come with a [TS]

00:37:40 ◼   ► guarantee [TS]

00:37:41 ◼   ► like a reverse guarantee where I can [TS]

00:37:44 ◼   ► call and find out what they did with it [TS]

00:37:45 ◼   ► like not like saving a child it's not [TS]

00:37:49 ◼   ► like you get a letter with a picture of [TS]

00:37:50 ◼   ► the kid did you get fresh water too [TS]

00:37:54 ◼   ► yeah well or I mean you could write they [TS]

00:37:56 ◼   ► could every year say look here it is [TS]

00:37:58 ◼   ► here's your gift we you know we take it [TS]

00:38:00 ◼   ► every year [TS]

00:38:01 ◼   ► ice fishing with us it's like the mascot [TS]

00:38:04 ◼   ► of our ice fishing trip every year thank [TS]

00:38:06 ◼   ► you so much [TS]

00:38:07 ◼   ► if they don't do that if it's just like [TS]

00:38:10 ◼   ► will never mention this gift again [TS]

00:38:13 ◼   ► mhm um you can't call him five years [TS]

00:38:17 ◼   ► later and say hey just wondering [TS]

00:38:21 ◼   ► remember that super thoughtful gift I [TS]

00:38:24 ◼   ► gave you guys just recently I mean if [TS]

00:38:31 ◼   ► you're not using it [TS]

00:38:33 ◼   ► yeah i mean shit dog get back a lot i [TS]

00:38:37 ◼   ► think it i'll take it back [TS]

00:38:38 ◼   ► uh you know I don't think you can do [TS]

00:38:40 ◼   ► that i don't think that's I don't think [TS]

00:38:43 ◼   ► that's kosher right so it's been a great [TS]

00:38:47 ◼   ► lesson to me in letting go and letting [TS]

00:38:50 ◼   ► god [TS]

00:38:51 ◼   ► mm oh god that's easy as a chance for [TS]

00:38:53 ◼   ► self-discovery [TS]

00:38:55 ◼   ► yeah yeah where i'm like i still i mean [TS]

00:38:57 ◼   ► i'm talking about it right now i still [TS]

00:38:59 ◼   ► sit and go from wonder what I wonder if [TS]

00:39:04 ◼   ► that's just in a box somewhere or ya did [TS]

00:39:07 ◼   ► that get is that what did I get water [TS]

00:39:10 ◼   ► damage in the flooded and they just had [TS]

00:39:13 ◼   ► to toss it i want to say anything I I [TS]

00:39:17 ◼   ► left and I left some stuff at a guy's [TS]

00:39:19 ◼   ► house one time in the great city of [TS]

00:39:21 ◼   ► Minneapolis and it wasn't it was stuff [TS]

00:39:24 ◼   ► that was important to me including some [TS]

00:39:26 ◼   ► journals some journals that I'd [TS]

00:39:29 ◼   ► accidentally left when I decamped rather [TS]

00:39:33 ◼   ► quickly and for a while we were in touch [TS]

00:39:38 ◼   ► with one another and I was like God hey [TS]

00:39:41 ◼   ► gotta get those journals from you [TS]

00:39:43 ◼   ► hey buddy how's it going gotta get those [TS]

00:39:45 ◼   ► journals from you and he's like yeah I [TS]

00:39:47 ◼   ► yeah I got him right here [TS]

00:39:49 ◼   ► you know I'm gonna I'm gonna send them [TS]

00:39:51 ◼   ► on just got to get the [TS]

00:39:53 ◼   ► just got to figure out how the post [TS]

00:39:55 ◼   ► office works yeah I'm great well I can [TS]

00:39:57 ◼   ► anything i can do just let me know just [TS]

00:40:00 ◼   ► should want to get those back [TS]

00:40:02 ◼   ► yep no problem and then one day he said [TS]

00:40:07 ◼   ► uh and it wasn't like he wrote me it was [TS]

00:40:11 ◼   ► that I wrote him and said so what about [TS]

00:40:13 ◼   ► the journals let's revisit the journals [TS]

00:40:15 ◼   ► and he said oh man there was a flood em [TS]

00:40:20 ◼   ► and the journals got wet and they [TS]

00:40:26 ◼   ► weren't really savable [TS]

00:40:27 ◼   ► hmm so I tossed them and I was like what [TS]

00:40:29 ◼   ► will whoa [TS]

00:40:31 ◼   ► like I get the flood part you know [TS]

00:40:35 ◼   ► floods happen but journals dry out too [TS]

00:40:42 ◼   ► like you can dry a journal how and and [TS]

00:40:45 ◼   ► and potentially like there are a lot of [TS]

00:40:47 ◼   ► there's a lot of when you talk about [TS]

00:40:51 ◼   ► journal [TS]

00:40:52 ◼   ► yeah but you know i have somebody who's [TS]

00:40:53 ◼   ► made a lot of lame excuses in life I can [TS]

00:40:56 ◼   ► smell that that's that is a lame excuse [TS]

00:40:58 ◼   ► he thought that was going to be his [TS]

00:40:59 ◼   ► ticket to ride looking although [TS]

00:41:02 ◼   ► everything flowed and so anyway well [TS]

00:41:03 ◼   ► like yeah they're damaging flood end of [TS]

00:41:05 ◼   ► conversation [TS]

00:41:06 ◼   ► yeah and i was like i could if you'd [TS]

00:41:09 ◼   ► sent them wet [TS]

00:41:10 ◼   ► I could I could you know like bake them [TS]

00:41:13 ◼   ► in the oven like it's not the it's not [TS]

00:41:17 ◼   ► the paper i want it's the work mmm yeah [TS]

00:41:20 ◼   ► world's my words gone gone forever you [TS]

00:41:25 ◼   ► know many journals that lost over the [TS]

00:41:26 ◼   ► years too many oh that you've openly and [TS]

00:41:29 ◼   ► you've also had a lot of things stolen [TS]

00:41:31 ◼   ► like you have lost the journal of with [TS]

00:41:33 ◼   ► the stealing one time when you're in [TS]

00:41:34 ◼   ► Europe have lost a few journals from [TS]

00:41:36 ◼   ► stealing had a roommate one time a young [TS]

00:41:41 ◼   ► woman who had a different idea of our [TS]

00:41:45 ◼   ► roommate ship than I did him and when [TS]

00:41:48 ◼   ► she moved out she moved out mad and took [TS]

00:41:52 ◼   ► my journals what like didn't take the [TS]

00:41:57 ◼   ► didn't take my art or whatever didn't [TS]

00:42:00 ◼   ► take my guitar which would have been a [TS]

00:42:03 ◼   ► great country song [TS]

00:42:05 ◼   ► that you know if she'd taken my guitar [TS]

00:42:07 ◼   ► that could be i'd still be dining out [TS]

00:42:09 ◼   ► and take my art she didn't take my [TS]

00:42:12 ◼   ► guitar took out the words that mean the [TS]

00:42:15 ◼   ► world to me not page but the words on [TS]

00:42:17 ◼   ► the page it [TS]

00:42:19 ◼   ► yeah yeah took the journal support our [TS]

00:42:22 ◼   ► troops [TS]

00:42:22 ◼   ► how weird does she still have them what [TS]

00:42:26 ◼   ► he's got into that self-same primary a [TS]

00:42:28 ◼   ► high-school girlfriend whenever I was a [TS]

00:42:30 ◼   ► shitheel and I was often a shitheel she [TS]

00:42:32 ◼   ► would destroy one of my o2 sets one of [TS]

00:42:35 ◼   ► your mixtapes no no usually one of my [TS]

00:42:37 ◼   ► like Columbia House or self purchase [TS]

00:42:39 ◼   ► cassettes but like that that's how I [TS]

00:42:41 ◼   ► lost english settlement for example that [TS]

00:42:43 ◼   ► double LP how did you destroy like pull [TS]

00:42:46 ◼   ► the tape out orgy playgrounds you do I [TS]

00:42:49 ◼   ► totally had it coming [TS]

00:42:50 ◼   ► all but that's I mean that's like each [TS]

00:42:53 ◼   ► pole must be even more gratifying to her [TS]

00:42:56 ◼   ► that's not just like I'm throwing this [TS]

00:42:58 ◼   ► in the garbage i'm not sure i learned my [TS]

00:42:59 ◼   ► lesson as well as I should've just like [TS]

00:43:01 ◼   ► every one of these polls just fucking [TS]

00:43:04 ◼   ► Marlin locking haha ah that's all the [TS]

00:43:08 ◼   ► world is football-shaped just for me to [TS]

00:43:11 ◼   ► kick in space [TS]

00:43:12 ◼   ► I can hear that i can see hear smell [TS]

00:43:14 ◼   ► touch taste [TS]

00:43:16 ◼   ► hey a funny story least some of my house [TS]

00:43:20 ◼   ► and start using it [TS]

00:43:21 ◼   ► this is happening on numerous occasions [TS]

00:43:23 ◼   ► get back my furniture but Wright has an [TS]

00:43:25 ◼   ► excellent name Richard left much was [TS]

00:43:27 ◼   ► burning at the stuff at the place and [TS]

00:43:30 ◼   ► learning about for exactly it's the [TS]

00:43:32 ◼   ► stuff of bits you got the don't call it [TS]

00:43:34 ◼   ► don't call its and its dust it's got the [TS]

00:43:36 ◼   ► playa dust all over it [TS]

00:43:37 ◼   ► so like I used one of his chairs from [TS]

00:43:40 ◼   ► the burning man for a long time so that [TS]

00:43:42 ◼   ► disappeared [TS]

00:43:43 ◼   ► I've used I've used to i still using a [TS]

00:43:45 ◼   ► sleeping bag when would you use good [TS]

00:43:47 ◼   ► until it disappeared because that I left [TS]

00:43:49 ◼   ► it's got a hog works but it's kind of a [TS]

00:43:51 ◼   ► long strange story but I had a chair i [TS]

00:43:53 ◼   ► left it this is this is not a Donovan [TS]

00:43:55 ◼   ► song but I had a chair haha i left it [TS]

00:43:58 ◼   ► somewhere [TS]

00:43:58 ◼   ► it disappeared and i was saying my hair [TS]

00:44:01 ◼   ► and then it came back another time in [TS]

00:44:03 ◼   ► the chair was back but then I lost again [TS]

00:44:07 ◼   ► and there are other agents that might be [TS]

00:44:09 ◼   ► moving the chairs or there's so many [TS]

00:44:11 ◼   ► things I try not to think about too much [TS]

00:44:13 ◼   ► but it's a funny story about this thing [TS]

00:44:14 ◼   ► right here [TS]

00:44:15 ◼   ► my friend my friend Lance walked over to [TS]

00:44:20 ◼   ► my house I don't know if we've been [TS]

00:44:23 ◼   ► drinking to get there the night before [TS]

00:44:25 ◼   ► but we were both really hungover this is [TS]

00:44:28 ◼   ► probably late 1990s 19 anyone he walked [TS]

00:44:32 ◼   ► over to my house and hang out and we [TS]

00:44:35 ◼   ► both had some ibuprofen laying on the [TS]

00:44:36 ◼   ► floor and he had a big cup of coffee cup [TS]

00:44:38 ◼   ► of coffee and he left his coffee cup at [TS]

00:44:41 ◼   ► my house and I am using it right the [TS]

00:44:44 ◼   ► second we're using the coffee cup that [TS]

00:44:47 ◼   ► Lance left at my house 25 years ago wow [TS]

00:44:52 ◼   ► now I you know I nurse this i use this [TS]

00:44:56 ◼   ► everyday this is my office coffee cup at [TS]

00:44:58 ◼   ► this point it's also see photo it's a [TS]

00:45:00 ◼   ► nice big cup it's it's like it's almost [TS]

00:45:02 ◼   ► like a Stein and it's got lots of [TS]

00:45:04 ◼   ► beautiful trees on it and it survived [TS]

00:45:06 ◼   ► all those years is one of the few things [TS]

00:45:08 ◼   ► in my life that hasn't broken I i love [TS]

00:45:12 ◼   ► that story [TS]

00:45:13 ◼   ► thank you but that's just like you you [TS]

00:45:16 ◼   ► maintain that relationship by keeping [TS]

00:45:21 ◼   ► that stuff in play [TS]

00:45:23 ◼   ► yeah i have talked to many years but I [TS]

00:45:25 ◼   ► still enjoy his cup he's a lot of this [TS]

00:45:26 ◼   ► kind of thing we put it in a box and you [TS]

00:45:28 ◼   ► say oh I've got to get this [TS]

00:45:30 ◼   ► no it's not a collectible yeah yeah I [TS]

00:45:33 ◼   ► don't know I've got to get this back to [TS]

00:45:34 ◼   ► him [TS]

00:45:35 ◼   ► oh no no he's never getting this back it [TS]

00:45:37 ◼   ► would be kinda cool like especially like [TS]

00:45:38 ◼   ► a no-go for babies on his deathbed his [TS]

00:45:40 ◼   ► coffee cup back [TS]

00:45:41 ◼   ► yeah yeah sure that's a little [TS]

00:45:42 ◼   ► on-the-nose work that's where it gets [TS]

00:45:44 ◼   ► married me up ringtone there it's not [TS]

00:45:47 ◼   ► like you've ever left anything at my [TS]

00:45:48 ◼   ► house unintentionally because it's a [TS]

00:45:51 ◼   ► it's a very small number of times that [TS]

00:45:53 ◼   ► you've never left your house that's [TS]

00:45:56 ◼   ► that's true but but there have been a [TS]

00:45:58 ◼   ► couple of times where you you loaned me [TS]

00:46:01 ◼   ► some I've loan has lent or gifted you a [TS]

00:46:05 ◼   ► strange array of things who somewhat [TS]

00:46:09 ◼   ► recovered before but I really appreciate [TS]

00:46:11 ◼   ► the fact that you you're so gracious at [TS]

00:46:14 ◼   ► receiving things [TS]

00:46:16 ◼   ► thank you know you really are I mean [TS]

00:46:18 ◼   ► like when I go like oh here's this bag [TS]

00:46:20 ◼   ► that was really expensive that I don't [TS]

00:46:22 ◼   ► like and I lost the strap do you want it [TS]

00:46:24 ◼   ► and you're like you really can capture [TS]

00:46:26 ◼   ► i'll have it [TS]

00:46:28 ◼   ► and then I found the strap and give you [TS]

00:46:29 ◼   ► the strap you did and that bag is a [TS]

00:46:31 ◼   ► great bag that man ack did i tell you [TS]

00:46:34 ◼   ► that i tell you that i found the [TS]

00:46:37 ◼   ► matching bag [TS]

00:46:39 ◼   ► no way it's that was it red ox it's [TS]

00:46:41 ◼   ► right off its a that was the bag on like [TS]

00:46:43 ◼   ► those like learn how to pack one bag [TS]

00:46:45 ◼   ► websites that was the one that was [TS]

00:46:46 ◼   ► recommended and I hated it it was you [TS]

00:46:49 ◼   ► had to carry on your shoulder and was [TS]

00:46:50 ◼   ► like Lou big yeah yeah too big for not [TS]

00:46:53 ◼   ► having wheels or something [TS]

00:46:54 ◼   ► yeah if you're going to pack a small bag [TS]

00:46:55 ◼   ► have the bag be small that's really you [TS]

00:46:57 ◼   ► know what that's a great tip you know [TS]

00:46:59 ◼   ► what I'm saying i do but so I was at a [TS]

00:47:02 ◼   ► thrift store months later and i found [TS]

00:47:04 ◼   ► the the identical red ox bag except blue [TS]

00:47:08 ◼   ► wow that's so cool yeah and it was only [TS]

00:47:11 ◼   ► a dollar that's a that's a costly bag [TS]

00:47:15 ◼   ► yeah and I said Merlin told me this was [TS]

00:47:17 ◼   ► a costly bag it's obviously a costly bag [TS]

00:47:20 ◼   ► by the amount of expense that's evident [TS]

00:47:23 ◼   ► in it in the quality of its manufacturer [TS]

00:47:26 ◼   ► it seems like something that was made in [TS]

00:47:29 ◼   ► America it feels great hearty it's a [TS]

00:47:32 ◼   ► hardy bag it's got a nice got really [TS]

00:47:34 ◼   ► nice zippers on it it's like a the beef [TS]

00:47:36 ◼   ► stew of bags mike is more expensive than [TS]

00:47:37 ◼   ► I remember [TS]

00:47:38 ◼   ► and so I did you know what that's like a [TS]

00:47:40 ◼   ► one of a kind of like a thick satchel em [TS]

00:47:43 ◼   ► like they're like it's called a fix [TS]

00:47:45 ◼   ► actual phone call the mini-boss on my [TS]

00:47:47 ◼   ► god [TS]

00:47:48 ◼   ► anyway i bought the second one and now i [TS]

00:47:50 ◼   ► have a matching set on basically they're [TS]

00:47:53 ◼   ► like I could turn them into motorcycle [TS]

00:47:55 ◼   ► pans if I allowed myself to consider [TS]

00:48:00 ◼   ► riding a motorcycle oh don't do that [TS]

00:48:02 ◼   ► I've taken just recently I've taken [TS]

00:48:06 ◼   ► riding motorcycles out of the can't wait [TS]

00:48:12 ◼   ► to do it any day now file and put it [TS]

00:48:16 ◼   ► into I wonder if I'm ever going to be [TS]

00:48:18 ◼   ► able to revisit that I all really [TS]

00:48:21 ◼   ► interesting [TS]

00:48:22 ◼   ► yeah and I don't like having done it but [TS]

00:48:24 ◼   ► I I just tell you I mean I know I kind [TS]

00:48:26 ◼   ► of don't want to talk about it because I [TS]

00:48:27 ◼   ► worry about you worried about your [TS]

00:48:28 ◼   ► safety but I could I could really see [TS]

00:48:31 ◼   ► you in the motorcycle i could see the [TS]

00:48:33 ◼   ► three motorcycles [TS]

00:48:34 ◼   ► oh no oh I know I and I you know I could [TS]

00:48:37 ◼   ► see me getting three motorcycles too but [TS]

00:48:39 ◼   ► i would need to live somewhere where [TS]

00:48:41 ◼   ► didn't rain all the time all a top like [TS]

00:48:44 ◼   ► the nation's likes steepest most [TS]

00:48:47 ◼   ► difficult hills to traverse mhm like [TS]

00:48:50 ◼   ► it's just this is a stupid town on a [TS]

00:48:52 ◼   ► motorcycle in unless you have one of [TS]

00:48:54 ◼   ► those motorcycles that's like died I [TS]

00:48:58 ◼   ► motorcycle like if i lived in San Diego [TS]

00:49:01 ◼   ► no never it's flat it's dry as flat as [TS]

00:49:04 ◼   ► dry you just get on your motorcycle [TS]

00:49:05 ◼   ► put-put-put you go from place to place [TS]

00:49:07 ◼   ► if you like a Navy SEAL you're here at [TS]

00:49:10 ◼   ► the Navy SEAL basis right out to the [TS]

00:49:11 ◼   ► beach on your on your crotch rocket [TS]

00:49:13 ◼   ► there you go that's exactly right but i [TS]

00:49:15 ◼   ► have a have a friend who was a was a [TS]

00:49:20 ◼   ► loss Angelino motorcyclist who just died [TS]

00:49:25 ◼   ► just a time when a car he's been riding [TS]

00:49:30 ◼   ► motorcycles his whole life he's [TS]

00:49:31 ◼   ► obviously very good at riding motorcycle [TS]

00:49:34 ◼   ► he's not he's not like didn't just hop [TS]

00:49:37 ◼   ► on a motorcycle been writing an email [TS]

00:49:39 ◼   ► way we're 25 years and just car mr. car [TS]

00:49:45 ◼   ► I'm so sorry not a thing that he could [TS]

00:49:47 ◼   ► have been anything about that's what i [TS]

00:49:50 ◼   ► said if your motorcycle you just have to [TS]

00:49:52 ◼   ► assume that nobody sees you you have to [TS]

00:49:55 ◼   ► yeah it already is it was my daughter [TS]

00:49:57 ◼   ► like I said when we look at whatever way [TS]

00:49:59 ◼   ► across the street I would say to her you [TS]

00:50:00 ◼   ► are a motorcycle [TS]

00:50:01 ◼   ► the thing is nobody sees motorcycles [TS]

00:50:03 ◼   ► because they're not the pattern matching [TS]

00:50:05 ◼   ► for driving a car does not account for [TS]

00:50:07 ◼   ► bicycles motorcycles anything it's not [TS]

00:50:09 ◼   ► another car people just to ICU they [TS]

00:50:12 ◼   ► don't see you and the thing is they [TS]

00:50:14 ◼   ► don't even see other cars people are [TS]

00:50:16 ◼   ► crashing into things all the time and if [TS]

00:50:18 ◼   ► he had been in a car this person still [TS]

00:50:21 ◼   ► might have crashed into him [TS]

00:50:22 ◼   ► it's just that he wouldn't have been [TS]

00:50:24 ◼   ► like dismembered you must have to become [TS]

00:50:28 ◼   ► very you know phrase defensive driving [TS]

00:50:32 ◼   ► you must have to become so aware of your [TS]

00:50:35 ◼   ► surroundings you know when you get such [TS]

00:50:37 ◼   ► v square inches of tire on the road at a [TS]

00:50:39 ◼   ► given time and you've got so much [TS]

00:50:42 ◼   ► potential power under you i mean you [TS]

00:50:44 ◼   ► could I mean it's just you know any [TS]

00:50:46 ◼   ► almost any motorcycle you could get on [TS]

00:50:48 ◼   ► and go really fast really quickly if you [TS]

00:50:50 ◼   ► bring a lot you know I'm [TS]

00:50:52 ◼   ► I'm not criticizing and I have we have a [TS]

00:50:54 ◼   ► friend out there who enjoys the show the [TS]

00:50:55 ◼   ► most of guy and so I'm you know I'm not [TS]

00:50:58 ◼   ► riding motorcycles but it must take a [TS]

00:51:00 ◼   ► lot of self-restraint and a lot of [TS]

00:51:01 ◼   ► self-awareness to be safe on a [TS]

00:51:03 ◼   ► motorcycle [TS]

00:51:04 ◼   ► this is my problem on a motorcycle [TS]

00:51:06 ◼   ► because when i get on a motorcycle [TS]

00:51:08 ◼   ► I'm like a super cautious respectful [TS]

00:51:11 ◼   ► driver and then have to learn how to get [TS]

00:51:15 ◼   ► how to do one you can do a motorcycle [TS]

00:51:17 ◼   ► i'll have driven a motorcycle across [TS]

00:51:18 ◼   ► America halfway across America until I [TS]

00:51:21 ◼   ► crashed it [TS]

00:51:22 ◼   ► ok ok let's not let's not focus on the [TS]

00:51:24 ◼   ► crashing probably not liar [TS]

00:51:26 ◼   ► let's talk about let's let's focus on [TS]

00:51:27 ◼   ► that this all the safe driving ID right [TS]

00:51:30 ◼   ► up until i graphed feels like an [TS]

00:51:34 ◼   ► important metaphor for something that's [TS]

00:51:35 ◼   ► been spent a considerable amount of time [TS]

00:51:37 ◼   ► in the hospital and then went to jail [TS]

00:51:39 ◼   ► let's not let's not go through that [TS]

00:51:42 ◼   ► whole chain of events every story [TS]

00:51:44 ◼   ► requires careful editing will head to [TS]

00:51:46 ◼   ► think about the good safe time I spent [TS]

00:51:50 ◼   ► on the moors but I you know I'm a Vespa [TS]

00:51:53 ◼   ► rider all of us until very recently but [TS]

00:51:56 ◼   ► the problem is when i get on a high pass [TS]

00:51:58 ◼   ► a hypo motorcycle one that has this [TS]

00:52:00 ◼   ► power that you're talking about working [TS]

00:52:01 ◼   ► with a flick of a wrist you can go from [TS]

00:52:03 ◼   ► zero to a thousand very very quickly [TS]

00:52:08 ◼   ► surprisingly quickly like shocking to [TS]

00:52:11 ◼   ► myself how quickly it happens I turn [TS]

00:52:15 ◼   ► into that person where someone's in the [TS]

00:52:17 ◼   ► left-turn lane and they're not they [TS]

00:52:21 ◼   ► they're waiting for the traffic to come [TS]

00:52:23 ◼   ► the other direction to make their turn [TS]

00:52:25 ◼   ► someone's in the right lane with their [TS]

00:52:27 ◼   ► blinker on waiting to turn right to do a [TS]

00:52:30 ◼   ► right at the light but there's someone [TS]

00:52:32 ◼   ► in the crosswalk walking and I thread [TS]

00:52:35 ◼   ► the like three-and-a-half feet between [TS]

00:52:39 ◼   ► the bumpers of the two cars at 45 miles [TS]

00:52:43 ◼   ► an hour [TS]

00:52:43 ◼   ► em and with the full knowledge that [TS]

00:52:47 ◼   ► there's someone coming the opposite [TS]

00:52:49 ◼   ► direction with their blinker on about to [TS]

00:52:51 ◼   ► turn right in front of me but you see [TS]

00:52:54 ◼   ► you see that opportunity and it just [TS]

00:52:55 ◼   ► feels like that's John size hole too [TS]

00:52:57 ◼   ► so here we go because I see that the [TS]

00:52:59 ◼   ► people walking across the crosswalk that [TS]

00:53:00 ◼   ► are blocking the guy that's about to [TS]

00:53:02 ◼   ► turn in front of me are still blocking [TS]

00:53:03 ◼   ► him enough that if [TS]

00:53:04 ◼   ► everybody behaves perfectly rational e.m [TS]

00:53:08 ◼   ► there's a slot here for me and what then [TS]

00:53:11 ◼   ► I do it and end my blood goes cold [TS]

00:53:15 ◼   ► I'm like you idiot that is the classics [TS]

00:53:18 ◼   ► situation if one of those people is even [TS]

00:53:22 ◼   ► slightly distracted if one of them [TS]

00:53:24 ◼   ► behave even slightly abnormally which [TS]

00:53:27 ◼   ► everyone does all the time then you are [TS]

00:53:30 ◼   ► a casualty think why did they stop [TS]

00:53:32 ◼   ► moving in the same trajectory that [TS]

00:53:34 ◼   ► you're expecting or they make a little [TS]

00:53:36 ◼   ► micro change and everything so it takes [TS]

00:53:39 ◼   ► micro change because a lot of those are [TS]

00:53:42 ◼   ► that slot isn't three feet yet the slot [TS]

00:53:46 ◼   ► has not opened yet because everybody's [TS]

00:53:48 ◼   ► still slightly in motion your schedule [TS]

00:53:50 ◼   ► to see how your skating with the fuck is [TS]

00:53:51 ◼   ► going to be that's right you see the [TS]

00:53:53 ◼   ► opportunity right you're leading the [TS]

00:53:55 ◼   ► you're here you're in a Sopwith Camel [TS]

00:53:58 ◼   ► you are leading the fucker tribe wing [TS]

00:54:01 ◼   ► and that was a new house brand new [TS]

00:54:04 ◼   ► technology then we can end it away i [TS]

00:54:07 ◼   ► feel like it still is a brand-new [TS]

00:54:08 ◼   ► technology now but that is the thing [TS]

00:54:10 ◼   ► that keep that that gets me back off the [TS]

00:54:12 ◼   ► motorcycle I park the motorcycle and I [TS]

00:54:15 ◼   ► say daddy's not old enough yet to drive [TS]

00:54:18 ◼   ► a motorcycle even though he's 47 years [TS]

00:54:21 ◼   ► old he does not have the good sense that [TS]

00:54:24 ◼   ► God gave a chicken cannot cannot stand [TS]

00:54:28 ◼   ► in a field and look up at the rain until [TS]

00:54:31 ◼   ► he drowns checking the weather so I [TS]

00:54:37 ◼   ► stopped so i stopped and then I spent [TS]

00:54:40 ◼   ► but the thing is that doesn't stop me [TS]

00:54:41 ◼   ► from Step sitting online and saying wow [TS]

00:54:43 ◼   ► that looks cycle boy if I had that [TS]

00:54:46 ◼   ► motorcycle then all of my problems would [TS]

00:54:49 ◼   ► be solved I see the appeal because it's [TS]

00:54:51 ◼   ► not so different from the appeal of a [TS]

00:54:52 ◼   ► bicycle which is just this like this is [TS]

00:54:55 ◼   ► this this little thing that you can get [TS]

00:54:57 ◼   ► lots it or even a skateboard like [TS]

00:54:58 ◼   ► there's little thing that can get me [TS]

00:54:59 ◼   ► lots of places but in that case man [TS]

00:55:02 ◼   ► that's that's part of the American dream [TS]

00:55:03 ◼   ► to a motorcycle [TS]

00:55:04 ◼   ► well yeah it's could I see what you're [TS]

00:55:07 ◼   ► saying about the bicycle but in another [TS]

00:55:08 ◼   ► way it's utterly unlike a bicycle [TS]

00:55:10 ◼   ► because if you are invited to a wedding [TS]

00:55:12 ◼   ► let's say you can I don't know much [TS]

00:55:14 ◼   ► about weddings the ends into that me [TS]

00:55:16 ◼   ► previously stipulated but i'm guessing [TS]

00:55:18 ◼   ► if you're invited to a wedding and you [TS]

00:55:19 ◼   ► ride up to the wedding on a bicycle [TS]

00:55:21 ◼   ► shingling is in your gear and write with [TS]

00:55:27 ◼   ► your little your little flippy hat and [TS]

00:55:29 ◼   ► you're and you're clapping shoes and [TS]

00:55:31 ◼   ► your you're like the wet pants or [TS]

00:55:35 ◼   ► whatever [TS]

00:55:36 ◼   ► Oh like but that's not how you roll or [TS]

00:55:39 ◼   ► maybe like one of those rear view [TS]

00:55:40 ◼   ► mirrors that's clipped to your glasses [TS]

00:55:41 ◼   ► right that's not how you roll up to a [TS]

00:55:43 ◼   ► wedding but if you roll up to a wedding [TS]

00:55:45 ◼   ► on a like a superboss seventies style [TS]

00:55:49 ◼   ► like chopped hardtail panhead [TS]

00:55:56 ◼   ► mm well no I like those words you roll [TS]

00:56:00 ◼   ► up to a wedding it on on one of those in [TS]

00:56:04 ◼   ► a in a tuxedo with some like some bausch [TS]

00:56:10 ◼   ► and lomb like commando sunglasses with [TS]

00:56:16 ◼   ► your with your date on the back with [TS]

00:56:18 ◼   ► your date riding on the back fender [TS]

00:56:20 ◼   ► because you don't even have a passenger [TS]

00:56:21 ◼   ► you paint quite a picture my friend [TS]

00:56:23 ◼   ► you're you're not riding up to that [TS]

00:56:25 ◼   ► wedding on a bicycle who you know now [TS]

00:56:27 ◼   ► right you're right you're absolutely [TS]

00:56:28 ◼   ► right you are riding up to that wedding [TS]

00:56:31 ◼   ► on a carpet of dreams [TS]

00:56:32 ◼   ► oh my goodness on a fucking on a rain on [TS]

00:56:35 ◼   ► a loud rainbow his way you know like a [TS]

00:56:39 ◼   ► rainbow with a bumper sticker that says [TS]

00:56:42 ◼   ► a lot of pipe save lives and then the [TS]

00:56:45 ◼   ► wedding belongs to you write some fried [TS]

00:56:47 ◼   ► everything belongs to you can leave that [TS]

00:56:49 ◼   ► wedding with whatever any problems in [TS]

00:56:51 ◼   ► love but only this show by paul williams [TS]

00:56:53 ◼   ► in this case [TS]

00:56:54 ◼   ► yeah you show up he show up on your gas [TS]

00:56:57 ◼   ► Molly with your with your heavy breaks [TS]

00:56:59 ◼   ► and you're in your passion loam a [TS]

00:57:01 ◼   ► costume [TS]

00:57:02 ◼   ► yeah and then all of a sudden you're [TS]

00:57:04 ◼   ► like Bugsy mala and the bride's thinking [TS]

00:57:07 ◼   ► man I sit on that tailpipe [TS]

00:57:09 ◼   ► hell yes LOL the tailpipe is wrapped in [TS]

00:57:12 ◼   ► some is wrapped in like fabric tape [TS]

00:57:15 ◼   ► that's your gift to her because boom [TS]

00:57:17 ◼   ► pumping yeah right your gift to that [TS]

00:57:19 ◼   ► wedding is that you came [TS]

00:57:21 ◼   ► mmm [TS]

00:57:21 ◼   ► didn't know so I I just feel like but I [TS]

00:57:26 ◼   ► had to step I had to step back from that [TS]

00:57:28 ◼   ► and then of course the other flip the [TS]

00:57:30 ◼   ► other motorcycle is the is the tsunami [TS]

00:57:34 ◼   ► motorcycle the apocalypse motorcycle [TS]

00:57:36 ◼   ► while we're doing that well let's say [TS]

00:57:39 ◼   ► you're living in long beach california [TS]

00:57:41 ◼   ► or gearhart or again or long beach [TS]

00:57:45 ◼   ► Washington every every state has a long [TS]

00:57:48 ◼   ► beach always writes like a Springfield [TS]

00:57:50 ◼   ► it's like sprinkles or at least every [TS]

00:57:53 ◼   ► beach and on the west coast for every [TS]

00:57:55 ◼   ► state in the west coast when there are [TS]

00:57:56 ◼   ► only three they each have a long beach [TS]

00:57:58 ◼   ► i'm guessing that's always be more [TS]

00:58:00 ◼   ► simply should be five all of oregon is a [TS]

00:58:02 ◼   ► long beach who is just one big language [TS]

00:58:05 ◼   ► okay but i want to live I want to have a [TS]

00:58:10 ◼   ► house in gearhart oregon or down by uh [TS]

00:58:17 ◼   ► you know down by cannon beach want to [TS]

00:58:21 ◼   ► have a house right because nice and I [TS]

00:58:24 ◼   ► don't I'm I don't want to talk about it [TS]

00:58:25 ◼   ► too much on this podcast because i don't [TS]

00:58:27 ◼   ► want other people that go there no [TS]

00:58:29 ◼   ► looky-loos gonna be saying well maybe I [TS]

00:58:31 ◼   ► should get into that vertical yeah like [TS]

00:58:32 ◼   ► let's get down to that lets go down to [TS]

00:58:34 ◼   ► the oregon coast and get ourselves a [TS]

00:58:36 ◼   ► house and for the ll the middle class [TS]

00:58:38 ◼   ► white people come in really well that's [TS]

00:58:40 ◼   ► already happened but now for Portland is [TS]

00:58:42 ◼   ► a small town relative to other cities [TS]

00:58:45 ◼   ► and the number of people that the number [TS]

00:58:48 ◼   ► of people that Portland can the number [TS]

00:58:50 ◼   ► of likes poor people that Portland can [TS]

00:58:53 ◼   ► actually put out into the world to ruin [TS]

00:58:55 ◼   ► everything [TS]

00:58:56 ◼   ► it's like a lot fewer people like Boston [TS]

00:58:59 ◼   ► every day is just sending out spores [TS]

00:59:02 ◼   ► that are just ruining things for other [TS]

00:59:05 ◼   ► people and this darkness race start with [TS]

00:59:07 ◼   ► a larger number of people right that's [TS]

00:59:08 ◼   ► right that's right there bear in the [TS]

00:59:10 ◼   ► process right now of ruining western [TS]

00:59:13 ◼   ► Massachusetts which was ruined by a [TS]

00:59:15 ◼   ► previous generation in a different [TS]

00:59:17 ◼   ► direction right like the 3d at the trip [TS]

00:59:20 ◼   ► the the generation in western [TS]

00:59:22 ◼   ► Massachusetts that ruined it by focusing [TS]

00:59:24 ◼   ► on manufacturing and doing bad business [TS]

00:59:27 ◼   ► and turning all those into abandoned [TS]

00:59:29 ◼   ► factory towns they were bad [TS]

00:59:31 ◼   ► did John Hodgman have any role in this [TS]

00:59:34 ◼   ► well he's certainly a pioneer country of [TS]

00:59:37 ◼   ► the of the next generation of runners [TS]

00:59:39 ◼   ► who were the the early middle-aged you [TS]

00:59:43 ◼   ► know like affluent middle-class people [TS]

00:59:46 ◼   ► who are now going out to western [TS]

00:59:48 ◼   ► Massachusetts and buying old manor [TS]

00:59:50 ◼   ► houses and turning them into sex tens or [TS]

00:59:53 ◼   ► something all the people all the people [TS]

00:59:54 ◼   ► that used to be that used to be in [TS]

00:59:56 ◼   ► Dinosaur Jr who are now living [TS]

00:59:56 ◼   ► Dinosaur Jr who are now living [TS]

01:00:00 ◼   ► and you know on on 50 acres gamer but i [TS]

01:00:05 ◼   ► do not want i do not want any more [TS]

01:00:08 ◼   ► people my age who currently live in [TS]

01:00:12 ◼   ► portland or seattle to go out to a [TS]

01:00:16 ◼   ► cannon beach and make it any harder to [TS]

01:00:18 ◼   ► live there [TS]

01:00:19 ◼   ► ok but if you do live there particularly [TS]

01:00:22 ◼   ► if you live in in gear harder seaside or [TS]

01:00:24 ◼   ► something like that and you hear those [TS]

01:00:26 ◼   ► tsunami sirens which are indicating one [TS]

01:00:32 ◼   ► of two things either there was a giant [TS]

01:00:34 ◼   ► giant giant earthquake in japan and you [TS]

01:00:38 ◼   ► have like my don't know how many hours [TS]

01:00:40 ◼   ► but like a significant number of hours [TS]

01:00:42 ◼   ► while that wave goes all the way across [TS]

01:00:45 ◼   ► the ocean or there was just a earthquake [TS]

01:00:50 ◼   ► on the Pacific plate right there [TS]

01:00:55 ◼   ► portese and it's actually catch a break [TS]

01:00:57 ◼   ► man [TS]

01:00:58 ◼   ► newzealand others a big ones like an [TS]

01:01:00 ◼   ► eight-point something new zealand [TS]

01:01:01 ◼   ► alright because New Zealand is a young [TS]

01:01:03 ◼   ► young country it's just that was a [TS]

01:01:05 ◼   ► terrible earthquake nothing about me but [TS]

01:01:08 ◼   ► like right slick with a day or two after [TS]

01:01:10 ◼   ► we've flown out of this is terrible [TS]

01:01:12 ◼   ► earthquake there so awful common [TS]

01:01:15 ◼   ► wonderful country they don't deserve [TS]

01:01:16 ◼   ► earthquakes so I some of our new zealand [TS]

01:01:19 ◼   ► listeners who are among our best [TS]

01:01:21 ◼   ► listeners i love that country so much [TS]

01:01:24 ◼   ► they are right now dealing with the [TS]

01:01:26 ◼   ► dealing with earthquake aftermath [TS]

01:01:28 ◼   ► yeah but the nice thing about New [TS]

01:01:30 ◼   ► Zealand of course is that if you leave [TS]

01:01:32 ◼   ► the water if you leave the coast and [TS]

01:01:35 ◼   ► head inland you go uphill pretty fast [TS]

01:01:37 ◼   ► right like New Zealand's not a swampy [TS]

01:01:40 ◼   ► country em right here you get the the [TS]

01:01:43 ◼   ► secret to getting away from a a an ocean [TS]

01:01:46 ◼   ► wave is to go up ocean wave right okay [TS]

01:01:49 ◼   ► yeah right here comes ocean wave who [TS]

01:01:51 ◼   ► head up finally most up place you can be [TS]

01:01:55 ◼   ► and go there okay if you're at the [TS]

01:01:57 ◼   ► nearest up place is like a tower made [TS]

01:02:00 ◼   ► out of toothpicks that somebody made for [TS]

01:02:01 ◼   ► a science fair that's not enough [TS]

01:02:04 ◼   ► ok go if you can find a little up land [TS]

01:02:08 ◼   ► go up land but if you're on the Oregon [TS]

01:02:10 ◼   ► coast the up land is John [TS]

01:02:12 ◼   ► just far enough away you can see it but [TS]

01:02:17 ◼   ► you can't run to it so so so how do you [TS]

01:02:22 ◼   ► how do you decide how to proceed in the [TS]

01:02:25 ◼   ► event you wanted to get some kind of [TS]

01:02:28 ◼   ► organ beachfront property how what's [TS]

01:02:32 ◼   ► your thought process for deciding so [TS]

01:02:34 ◼   ► here to do about that [TS]

01:02:35 ◼   ► here's what I'm assuming yeah you're [TS]

01:02:38 ◼   ► buying your organ coast property you [TS]

01:02:41 ◼   ► already have a vintage four-by-four [TS]

01:02:44 ◼   ► because that's one of the first things [TS]

01:02:46 ◼   ► you should get em I vintage four-by-four [TS]

01:02:50 ◼   ► that's like that's like a long time [TS]

01:02:53 ◼   ► before you're thinking about a beach [TS]

01:02:54 ◼   ► house but when you get the beach house [TS]

01:02:58 ◼   ► you realize my vintage four-by-four is [TS]

01:03:01 ◼   ► just exactly like everybody else's [TS]

01:03:04 ◼   ► vintage four-by-four out here there's [TS]

01:03:06 ◼   ► only one Road out of town and it's gonna [TS]

01:03:10 ◼   ► be it's gonna be completely jammed with [TS]

01:03:13 ◼   ► vintage four by fours and you're done [TS]

01:03:15 ◼   ► you know if you like pile everybody in [TS]

01:03:18 ◼   ► the vintage four-by-four and say we're [TS]

01:03:19 ◼   ► headed to the hills [TS]

01:03:21 ◼   ► no you died in a traffic jam so what you [TS]

01:03:25 ◼   ► need is to stay is the greater [TS]

01:03:27 ◼   ► four-by-four theory that's right exactly [TS]

01:03:30 ◼   ► right [TS]

01:03:30 ◼   ► what you need is two high-powered enduro [TS]

01:03:33 ◼   ► motorcycles their gassed up and ready to [TS]

01:03:37 ◼   ► go with Swift side you know that would [TS]

01:03:40 ◼   ► like hardcase side bag and see your [TS]

01:03:43 ◼   ► hacking system a little bit [TS]

01:03:44 ◼   ► that's right who and you and whoever [TS]

01:03:47 ◼   ► you're with [TS]

01:03:47 ◼   ► whether it be your spouse or significant [TS]

01:03:50 ◼   ► other you have both practiced this where [TS]

01:03:53 ◼   ► you run out to your covered secret [TS]

01:03:57 ◼   ► garage hop on motorcycles brain bomb and [TS]

01:04:01 ◼   ► then you're off and you are using the [TS]

01:04:04 ◼   ► roads only as much as net and needed but [TS]

01:04:08 ◼   ► you have a route that you can do if the [TS]

01:04:12 ◼   ► roads are all jammed full of you for her [TS]

01:04:14 ◼   ► status is a bug out and bug let's bug [TS]

01:04:17 ◼   ► out we've rehearsed this right now we [TS]

01:04:19 ◼   ► don't have to we don't have to that we [TS]

01:04:21 ◼   ► don't have enough gear to survive for 40 [TS]

01:04:24 ◼   ► days because a life I've further than [TS]

01:04:26 ◼   ► you that's right out riding the tiger [TS]

01:04:28 ◼   ► all we have to do is get all we have to [TS]

01:04:31 ◼   ► do is close the distance between us and [TS]

01:04:33 ◼   ► five miles from here like as fast as we [TS]

01:04:37 ◼   ► can [TS]

01:04:38 ◼   ► Oh on the assumption that everybody else [TS]

01:04:40 ◼   ► is going to be trying to do that at the [TS]

01:04:41 ◼   ► same time but they're not going to have [TS]

01:04:42 ◼   ► these high-powered motorcycles who and [TS]

01:04:45 ◼   ► then once you get there you watch the [TS]

01:04:46 ◼   ► waves come in you feel [TS]

01:04:48 ◼   ► yeah i mean obviously you're not [TS]

01:04:49 ◼   ► gloating you feel bad for everyone sure [TS]

01:04:51 ◼   ► and then the wave goes out east you [TS]