Roderick on the Line

Ep. 217: "Dick…AND!"


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00:00:23   [Music]

00:00:28   hello hi John hi Merlin was going oh

00:00:33   good good good happy monday thank you

00:00:39   happy mondays

00:00:40   yeah um are you good

00:00:44   yes you have any and exciting new Apple

00:00:48   events well i'm reporting live from the

00:00:52   floor here at the major apple event may

00:00:56   be beating we have updated the terms of

00:00:59   service

00:00:59   yes I've seen it it's amazing it's

00:01:02   amazing that you agree

00:01:04   what choice do I have whoa-oh what you

00:01:08   got

00:01:09   I just agreed and you wouldn't believe

00:01:11   what happened no you have to be a

00:01:14   millennium to understand this breakup

00:01:15   story you have to be a nineties kid to

00:01:18   know how to use iOS 10 is tens need to

00:01:20   send you some stickers

00:01:22   listen I haven't upgraded yet know and I

00:01:25   keep hearing about it

00:01:27   oh it was problematic no no no the

00:01:30   opposite

00:01:30   oh it's amazing like like Buddha and

00:01:34   somebody says oh sorry i was just

00:01:35   watching my phone like tell me my own

00:01:39   future and I was like wow does it do

00:01:41   that

00:01:41   yeah you're probably doing is just

00:01:43   taking messages from people that say set

00:01:45   with lasers be getting that were sent

00:01:47   with confetti

00:01:48   mhm no I'm gotten that yet i'm doing how

00:01:52   r l talk about i'm walking down the

00:01:54   street with people IRL who lurk durban

00:01:57   yet on phone and it's like why you here

00:02:01   even lurp more than you normally do

00:02:03   it's fun it's really fun hey is that now

00:02:06   let me ask you this is a resolution

00:02:07   higher they increase the resolution from

00:02:10   1028 peepees to 400,000 let's get the

00:02:16   update you'll see it sets about 1029

00:02:18   peepees uh-huh yeah you want to get as

00:02:20   many cookies as you can on screen that's

00:02:22   why it's waterproof the it's a lot of

00:02:25   fun

00:02:26   there's a lot of neat stuff this is uh a

00:02:29   except for you who seems like poison

00:02:31   with electronics it's a fantastic very

00:02:34   solid update suit

00:02:37   yeah that's the stickers are fun there's

00:02:39   a there's a there's lots of stickers and

00:02:41   and and then there's and there's an app

00:02:43   you can get where you can remember your

00:02:45   favorite animated gifs and easily add

00:02:47   them from any of your devices really you

00:02:48   can you can add gifts mm-hmm

00:02:51   just click so I'm gonna do a good gift

00:02:55   yeah well you know I've always this is

00:02:58   minus thirty secret yeah always been

00:03:00   confused by how to make and save and

00:03:04   store gifts yes well the Photos app does

00:03:08   not handle them well or consistently

00:03:10   right huh

00:03:13   but I don't even know how to begin ok

00:03:15   I've tried to save some and then it

00:03:17   saves it as like four thousand pictures

00:03:19   no it's no good you know what that but I

00:03:20   can never get it just play again

00:03:22   mm there's some there's some writing

00:03:24   encryption me and you know it's weird

00:03:29   because sometimes you know i'll just

00:03:31   copy and paste the link and sometimes it

00:03:33   works and sometimes it goes to a page

00:03:34   and sometimes but you know start up

00:03:37   start off easy start easy easy that's

00:03:39   what I'm gonna start start off do you

00:03:40   back your phone up John I I should

00:03:42   probably ask the software feedback phone

00:03:44   up to me and do I back that phone you

00:03:47   back that up

00:03:47   ball ball ball ball and hip-hop song uh

00:03:50   i think it is a reference to an idea

00:03:53   back to the throne of part of ecology

00:03:57   get a little plug or get a little iCloud

00:03:59   back the phone up

00:04:01   mhm have you ever had someone back and

00:04:04   ass up to you

00:04:05   oh uh i was at a bachelor party one time

00:04:09   that I'd love to forget your hat now you

00:04:12   know you even said those words I want to

00:04:14   forget

00:04:15   yeah i still think about it once a month

00:04:17   and I i shudder at 10 what did terrible

00:04:20   things at that and I didn't enjoy it

00:04:22   spend a little more than I should it

00:04:24   wasn't fun i iu we've been in a strip

00:04:27   club together right

00:04:28   yes you know it's not my thing I know it

00:04:30   isn't you you i think i am probably the

00:04:32   greatest I'm the one they should have

00:04:33   dollars put into his underpants because

00:04:36   it's quite a show to watch how

00:04:38   manifestly uncomfortable I am and I

00:04:41   can't even begin to hide it

00:04:42   if i can recall correctly you sit with

00:04:45   your knees together pressed together

00:04:47   with briefcase on your lap and I don't

00:04:50   mean like flat on your lap I mean

00:04:52   standing up like popcorn yet with your

00:04:54   hand that's what your hands on the lock

00:04:56   yeah just waiting for the waiting to

00:04:58   look looking through the gloom for an

00:05:00   exit time

00:05:01   yeah if it's a lot like my posture from

00:05:05   my early days of going to Amateur improv

00:05:08   shows right just kind of have this this

00:05:11   rictus of a smile on my face as i gently

00:05:13   rock back and forth haha alright I'm

00:05:17   gonna need something you find about room

00:05:19   and it's a topping and while we can

00:05:23   comfortably now to know my god you know

00:05:25   dick jokes are funny just do dick jokes

00:05:28   but i'll try to make that improv

00:05:30   boop-boop-boop-boop Nick and go tell me

00:05:37   this

00:05:37   yes you there do you do you remember

00:05:45   your dreams

00:05:46   yes you do yes you wake up in the

00:05:48   morning and you remember your dreams i

00:05:50   can remember my dream from last night

00:05:52   and you remember it clearly

00:05:54   parts of it there's an entire episode of

00:05:58   the show John syracuse about this

00:06:00   because he is utterly perplexed by why

00:06:01   anybody would want to remember and

00:06:03   record the SE calls it brain garbage

00:06:05   that his dreams i'm intrigued by dreams

00:06:08   i don't find meaningful but i'm

00:06:10   intrigued by them like for example last

00:06:12   night i was eating fast food and I had

00:06:13   made friends with a comically large

00:06:15   fuzzy bear and the bear walked in front

00:06:19   of the restaurant was in and wave to me

00:06:22   and had the voice of Leslie Jones so

00:06:24   that's a nice feeling for me I like

00:06:26   listen Jen dream

00:06:27   why would you be pals with with a big

00:06:29   grizzly bear the talk Leslie Jones I am

00:06:31   I don't know that bear but yeah that's

00:06:37   wonderful and it do dreams fade

00:06:40   throughout the day so by the end of the

00:06:42   day you're kinda like and it was a bear

00:06:43   named chocolate Leslie Jones but early

00:06:45   on me

00:06:46   curious aj lee curious about this get a

00:06:48   little bit i'm fucking really curious ok

00:06:50   yes uh what happens is i will have

00:06:54   dreams very intense training for what

00:06:55   feels like a long time and then I wake

00:06:57   up and I've been made a practice of

00:07:00   trying to go back into the dream and I

00:07:03   have a methodology that i use for that

00:07:05   but to answer your question specifically

00:07:06   yes it does faith through the day but

00:07:08   Allah the phenomenon of 11 primacy and

00:07:12   recency i'm not sure i remember dreams

00:07:15   from the night before as i'm going to

00:07:16   sleep sometimes

00:07:17   oh you know what I mean not primacy and

00:07:20   recency what it's called

00:07:21   look at your local sprint I it's when

00:07:23   you're able to remember a dream but no

00:07:25   they must be fate sometimes I write them

00:07:26   down and they're very very silly how

00:07:30   successful have you been in pursuing a

00:07:32   lucid dreaming strategy ec not very we

00:07:37   should talk to our friend grant about

00:07:38   this because I think grant made quite a

00:07:39   study of this a long time and knows lots

00:07:41   about it you're talking about grand ball

00:07:43   for the floor

00:07:44   yeah you south africa south african

00:07:46   Germanic tribe and I have been very

00:07:50   actually I hate to admit it because you

00:07:52   know and I feel like we're getting more

00:07:54   jalan territory a little bit more jalan

00:07:56   ya but I I'm yeah I'm very interested in

00:08:00   that idea cause probably it's I mean I

00:08:02   accept the idea that what we call a

00:08:04   dream I just as my daughter and is

00:08:07   trying to describe like the you know

00:08:08   that what what i mean by brain garbage

00:08:10   which is that you bring you know your

00:08:11   mom your mind is a brain is doing lots

00:08:14   of filing and lots of people going out

00:08:16   yeah if you're sleeping enough stuff is

00:08:19   happening and the thing is it's not

00:08:21   garbage in the sense that it all useless

00:08:23   images but it is a fairly weird soon as

00:08:26   i understand it fairly weird random

00:08:28   synaptic mismatch like why did I

00:08:31   suddenly think of this person that I met

00:08:33   one time yeah 92 in a drunk drunk drunk

00:08:37   in bed spring garbage that fascinated by

00:08:40   it

00:08:40   did you ever work in her in like a in a

00:08:43   job where you filed things

00:08:44   yes right you're good at this you could

00:08:47   always find amazing lots file yeah i

00:08:49   could write amazing class file well I

00:08:50   just think of it as like files files

00:08:52   files on you know its files all the way

00:08:54   down

00:08:54   mvi find it there's certain kinds of

00:08:57   things i think this is one way in which

00:08:58   you and I

00:08:59   are probably more alike than different

00:09:01   there are certain kinds of what other

00:09:04   people consider mindless tasks that I

00:09:05   really enjoy i enjoy sorting Legos

00:09:09   oh yeah always black just sit just when

00:09:12   you just said that yeah I realized that

00:09:15   there's an emptiness in me how well we

00:09:17   sort them all we sort them by size will

00:09:19   sort them by color while we sort them by

00:09:21   kit we sort them by how often they're

00:09:24   used without sort of like the right

00:09:26   that's lame I know but I mean we take

00:09:28   the little things that could be used as

00:09:29   lights are flowers and put them into

00:09:31   this little of this little of tackle box

00:09:33   that I don't have a zero this i don't

00:09:36   have a bit of Legos so right now so I

00:09:38   don't have a tackle box

00:09:40   Oh as you know I have several several

00:09:43   tackle box style boxes

00:09:46   yes full of political pins and other

00:09:49   things that probably many of our friends

00:09:52   would consider garbage but these are

00:09:53   your cigar box type system

00:09:56   well except i have other i have larger

00:09:58   boxes bigger than cigar boxes that are

00:10:00   not meant for like tied flies exactly

00:10:05   but like you but there but they are

00:10:07   there are cut different from like

00:10:11   somebody's a little wooden wall

00:10:14   decoration where they keep all their

00:10:16   symbols like we're not talking about

00:10:17   like a like a box on the wall boxes what

00:10:19   we call that doesn't look that good

00:10:22   yeah some kind of display memento mori

00:10:24   uh yeah I know you're very popular

00:10:27   culture their ménage when we were kids

00:10:29   those are very popular we had some

00:10:30   friends that had 14 there late lamented

00:10:32   dog and a photo and his favorite chew

00:10:34   toy and that was on the wall

00:10:36   yeah and the the symbol remember in this

00:10:38   in the seventies people displayed their

00:10:40   symbols or there you know the the little

00:10:43   uns spoons right or the bells that you

00:10:45   would get in truck stops yes

00:10:47   gates you need a box for that stuff well

00:10:49   this my collections if you if if you'll

00:10:53   allow me he seemed not in those but in a

00:10:57   similar like structure but it has a

00:11:01   glass lid so so you can see the stuff

00:11:06   but it's under glass

00:11:08   and I don't mount them on the wall I

00:11:12   keep them stacked Oh like you know like

00:11:16   a like a modified little map rack but

00:11:19   miniature I like the sound of that full

00:11:22   of pins who but I don't have I have I

00:11:26   have not solved the legos conundrum

00:11:29   uh-huh because legos our thing obviously

00:11:34   to me as they are to you and to everyone

00:11:37   and I I desperately want Legos in my

00:11:42   life again i think probably seventy

00:11:45   percent of the reason i was excited

00:11:46   about having a kid was that I could get

00:11:48   legos back in my life

00:11:49   it trains and legos trains and legos

00:11:52   uh-huh

00:11:53   but when i go to the store to shop for

00:11:57   legos when I go to the lego store to

00:12:00   shop for legs when I make pilgrimages to

00:12:02   lego places

00:12:04   uh-huh i become so confused and baffled

00:12:09   and dismayed by what i find that Lego

00:12:13   stores by which i mean they're Shh

00:12:17   fucking shit tastic expensive

00:12:20   yeah it is they're entirely built around

00:12:23   kit this brainless a whole like brand

00:12:26   and marketing thing that like I I don't

00:12:28   want to build an Eiffel Tower I want a

00:12:30   box of legos and and then you can go to

00:12:34   those places where they have the legos

00:12:35   independently in bins they're like

00:12:39   fourteen dollars apiece and incredibly

00:12:41   costly and uh and so I don't know where

00:12:43   to begin i wander around the lego store

00:12:45   for like two and a half hours i pull

00:12:47   things down and like if I took this like

00:12:49   Lego princess castle apart would i be

00:12:52   able or can you make other things with

00:12:54   them and then I i leave empty-handed

00:12:56   I've gone online yeah and I've said sell

00:12:59   me your 1979 like like wash tub full of

00:13:05   legos which is what I'm imagining IV is

00:13:09   but I've never pulled the trigger on one

00:13:11   of them

00:13:11   are you looking more at first of all if

00:13:13   you'll permit me I will I will gift you

00:13:15   with something today i will send it to

00:13:17   you through the Amazon like I'd like to

00:13:19   do that for you are you interested in

00:13:21   just a whole bunch of classic like what

00:13:26   eight nubbin legos that kind of thing

00:13:28   you want classic bricks you're not

00:13:30   looking for a lot of Liberty tivity

00:13:31   that's correct

00:13:32   ok Oh was looking at right here it's a

00:13:34   good one is the lego classic large

00:13:36   creative brick box this is 790 pieces

00:13:40   looks like a lock it comes with a lot of

00:13:42   standard old stop bricks many different

00:13:44   colors it comes with wheels

00:13:45   it comes with screens it comes with

00:13:47   windows and doors you can make houses

00:13:49   that's nice but it's just a big-ass box

00:13:52   shaped like a Lego that has 790 pieces

00:13:56   in so okay i'm gonna give you that to

00:13:59   start and I like to give to you with the

00:14:01   classics and base plate on which you can

00:14:03   build these things

00:14:04   Santa blaze oh so it's sand-colored

00:14:06   being the big green 12

00:14:08   yeah but you'll also need to jerk did

00:14:10   your daughter get into duplo at all

00:14:12   well we did get into duplo and we built

00:14:15   things out of duplo several princess

00:14:18   castles as you can imagine yeah yeah we

00:14:21   built she likes to build rooms and you

00:14:25   know bedrooms and kitchens and garages

00:14:27   and bridges but the duplos just didn't

00:14:31   have the precision yeah well therefore

00:14:33   you know they're for little hands

00:14:34   yeah and then people started giving her

00:14:37   lego gifts but they were like here's a

00:14:41   like a like cool motorcycle mama she's

00:14:45   got a she's got a dirt bike and this is

00:14:50   a little it's like a little diorama

00:14:51   right there's a palm tree there's a tent

00:14:54   where she's spending the night

00:14:57   there's a motorcycle and then there are

00:14:59   50 tiny tiny little chocobo ball

00:15:03   talkable upon little things like here's

00:15:07   her little who's her little matchbook

00:15:09   yeah I'm here's her little you know like

00:15:11   her magnifying glass and sounds like the

00:15:13   franchise called friends which is seems

00:15:17   super lame but has some of the best

00:15:18   weirdo pieces ever but they know they're

00:15:22   always gonna say about to play was the

00:15:23   cool thing because they lay

00:15:24   no and they're awesome to delay the

00:15:26   duplo and the with accommodating size

00:15:29   pieces with bricks you can use your

00:15:31   DUPLO and your Lego to get there

00:15:33   No so if in our case we got it we got a

00:15:36   butt ton of big bricks so if you don't

00:15:38   have the base of your castle like your

00:15:41   wall your fortification you could make

00:15:43   that a duplos and then you can get sexy

00:15:46   it up with you know turrets mom is crazy

00:15:49   talk

00:15:49   I thought the same thing occurred to me

00:15:51   one day this is Lego I should see if

00:15:53   this works now doesn't work for him it's

00:15:54   gotta be the same size and everything

00:15:55   they do work together it's it's kind of

00:15:59   brilliant

00:15:59   so are you still at a five-digit address

00:16:03   starting with one

00:16:04   yes okay i'm going to send you right now

00:16:06   will be delivered today you're going to

00:16:08   get the classic large creative brick box

00:16:10   10 698 the classics and base plate and

00:16:15   the classic green base plate supplement

00:16:18   me i do that i mean that's that's that's

00:16:23   wonderful it's wonderful thoughtful of

00:16:25   you to do this just to try and solve my

00:16:27   lego connect I'm not trying to solve

00:16:28   anything I just want you to have legos

00:16:30   because because you know here's the

00:16:31   thing is ordered

00:16:32   um here's the thing it depends it's a

00:16:36   Sisyphean task let all things involving

00:16:39   parenting

00:16:39   well I'm like everything i do i use the

00:16:42   word Mississippi in 15 times a day to

00:16:44   describe something I just did write it

00:16:47   just keeps rolling back down synthesis

00:16:49   of this is all the way down every every

00:16:52   day I mean I'm so i should say she's a

00:16:55   way of this color entire enter cock but

00:16:58   warehouses professionally cleaned on

00:16:59   Friday our entire entire living room

00:17:02   table is currently covered with Lego ah

00:17:04   it was professionally cleaned in order

00:17:08   to make a clean a gar base you know what

00:17:11   a kid loves to mess up more than

00:17:12   anything a professionally cleaned room

00:17:14   right uh-huh perfectly professionally

00:17:17   clean the room and I want to I want to

00:17:18   get to the Sisyphus but just here's the

00:17:20   thing this it depends on I've said this

00:17:22   before you know as you know I'm a

00:17:23   Productivity to retire productivity cool

00:17:26   i think a big part of success in one's

00:17:28   career is to figure out what about one's

00:17:31   occupation is necessarily hard because

00:17:34   that is the reason as they say you get

00:17:36   the big bucks

00:17:37   is this part of it is necessary dip

00:17:39   necessarily difficult and there's a

00:17:40   reason that not everybody can or will do

00:17:42   it like some people are really good at

00:17:44   fixing automobiles and other people

00:17:46   right excellent pop songs or

00:17:48   what-have-you then you have to figure

00:17:50   out the part of your job that is not

00:17:51   necessarily difficult but you find to be

00:17:54   difficult and can you improve that and

00:17:56   the part of success is figuring out how

00:17:58   much you can tolerate the stuff that's

00:18:00   difficult but not making your job good

00:18:02   how much this stuff is difficult to fix

00:18:04   you see where I'm going with this

00:18:05   I'm sorry this goes for parenting to so

00:18:07   if you just happen to be a person who

00:18:09   likes sorting legos but don't mind that

00:18:12   it won't matter in 10 minutes that they

00:18:14   were organized you're good to go

00:18:16   problem is if you think that the the

00:18:18   flower light nubbins should always stay

00:18:19   in this drawer and you think you know

00:18:22   what I'm saying

00:18:22   pretty soon I was a guy in the lego

00:18:23   movie and you're you put the kragle over

00:18:26   everything right and then this guy over

00:18:27   here yet this would die I would not

00:18:31   tolerate racism i have of I have the

00:18:36   ball in the course of time

00:18:38   yeah basically evolutionary biology John

00:18:40   i have personally evolved into a

00:18:43   different species because of evolution

00:18:46   right i have naturally selected within

00:18:50   myself

00:18:51   oh you talk about that the the hidden

00:18:53   arm that that causes evolution you've

00:18:56   been you've been armed and the Armed

00:18:58   upon I think what I think it's the will

00:19:00   of something that wants to evolve in its

00:19:04   next-generation that wills that

00:19:06   evolution to happen right that wills the

00:19:10   natural selection to take place in a

00:19:11   certain way by by virtue of choosing

00:19:14   interesting

00:19:15   yeah so it's something like Lobster has

00:19:17   evolved to that yet

00:19:18   uh well a lobster is just a mosquito

00:19:23   that evolved into a lobster em right the

00:19:26   person skeet oh it's interesting at acc

00:19:29   roach

00:19:30   well it sort of it you know something

00:19:32   some bug

00:19:33   let's call it landed on the water was

00:19:35   like nice and then said in the future I

00:19:39   hope my kids can swim

00:19:43   haha and then those kids were swimmers

00:19:47   ok

00:19:48   oh you want you want better for your

00:19:49   kids yeah and then the swimmer kids were

00:19:51   like what's on the bottom

00:19:53   uh-huh one day I hope that my kids can

00:19:56   swim to the bottom and then they did

00:19:59   their kill you what I'm tired of having

00:20:02   the the short life of my progenitors I

00:20:06   would like my kids to live longer than

00:20:08   me maybe upwards of a hundred years

00:20:10   well somewhere along the line some

00:20:12   mosquito I don't know whether it was

00:20:14   intentional whether they just went to

00:20:15   the bottom because they're looking for

00:20:16   parole so who and then realize that the

00:20:18   cold water kept them live longer

00:20:21   ok or whether on the surface the

00:20:23   mosquito the the the proto mosquito

00:20:26   proto lobster I'm sorry yes post-post

00:20:28   Skeeter proto lobster mhm said I want to

00:20:32   live longer

00:20:34   I know that cold produces longer life I

00:20:37   said I sense it

00:20:38   I'm going down Paul you know what I'm

00:20:41   saying I'm going down one thing only

00:20:48   I am broadcasting to you from California

00:20:52   but I have a I have now established my

00:20:57   mobile podcasting rig you sound great

00:20:59   you played in also plugged in I'm

00:21:02   plugged into the hole

00:21:03   I'm putting the whole me gently you

00:21:06   sound so much better this way

00:21:08   and oh it all fits into a small bag into

00:21:14   a small bag my entire podcasting

00:21:17   operation now fits into my shoulder bag

00:21:21   which goes in the overhead compartment

00:21:23   move an airplane

00:21:25   this includes your fancy podcasting like

00:21:26   the open everything so it goes into a

00:21:30   couple bags one of the bags

00:21:31   actually that goes in the small bag

00:21:33   because the bag small bag is very small

00:21:36   whoo-hoo but one of the inner bags which

00:21:38   is smaller is a an old padded laptop bag

00:21:42   that you gave me one time back in the

00:21:44   day when laptops needed to be ensconced

00:21:48   in their own special bags yes that you

00:21:51   needed to take out of the bag and then

00:21:53   take this is it

00:21:54   snap tab SF bags at wakefield like a

00:21:58   phony

00:21:58   welcome back it's kind of funny but it's

00:22:00   not bulk repeal crow i think it was one

00:22:02   of your earliest one sure a bag that you

00:22:05   use when you had when your laptop was as

00:22:07   thick as a paperback book

00:22:08   whoo-hoo and and I find like a Russian

00:22:11   paperback book like a beer that's right

00:22:13   like a russian book a trade paperback

00:22:16   who from Russia and 1890s trivia I and

00:22:21   that bag actually does not it contains

00:22:23   the microphone and the headphones which

00:22:26   are in a separate small bag it all goes

00:22:28   into that small bag which goes into the

00:22:30   small bag i love a bag in the back

00:22:32   that's three bats bag in a bag in a bag

00:22:34   didn't say his bags on me down

00:22:40   so here i am and i'm in california and

00:22:42   it's all but you know the number of the

00:22:47   number of opportunities to feel like

00:22:48   Sisyphus in California who its

00:22:52   exponentially more opportunities because

00:22:55   they're all these people in California

00:22:57   that I have to correct because they're

00:22:59   profoundly doing it wrong yeah and and

00:23:04   then i use that you i'm just guessing in

00:23:06   the los angeles area i am in los angeles

00:23:09   area however either but what baby they

00:23:11   must be you must be exhausted John all

00:23:13   is what we just what you see you go

00:23:16   outside to get a newspaper pick up a

00:23:17   coffee the kind of stuff that you're

00:23:18   going to see people walking around and

00:23:20   acting like that is normal or acceptable

00:23:22   behavior it's insane you could if you

00:23:25   tied a copper wire around the top of the

00:23:29   first man bun you saw who

00:23:32   and then as you walk your spooling cop

00:23:34   I'm very thin copper wire as you're

00:23:38   walking every time you saw a bun on a

00:23:40   man-woman a top bottom i'm talking about

00:23:42   not a back button sure you wrap the

00:23:45   copper wire one more time around the

00:23:47   next one you saw and then you let those

00:23:49   people keep going you're spooning wire

00:23:51   wrap it around everybody you see for an

00:23:54   hour and you know your your kind of

00:23:57   trying to make somewhat of a loop

00:23:59   uh-huh you run back into the first

00:24:01   person you

00:24:05   wrap that copper wire around their

00:24:07   button one more time you made a Tesla

00:24:09   coil

00:24:09   I you know Tesla was on my mind as you

00:24:11   were saying that that's like Tesla's

00:24:13   dream right there right and it is

00:24:15   happening in LA right now always

00:24:18   alternating but you know that energy

00:24:20   just bits tears and rain it's not going

00:24:21   anywhere

00:24:22   no one's nose harnessing the energy of

00:24:24   the man bun circle

00:24:25   yeah and-and-and you and there are so

00:24:27   many man button circles in India of

00:24:31   different things

00:24:32   yeah that people could be taking

00:24:33   advantage of here and there not so many

00:24:36   I mean obviously I've made a big I've

00:24:39   made a big to-do about how California

00:24:41   coffee culture drives me crazy

00:24:43   who but there are so many other things

00:24:47   to be to be insane about down here that

00:24:50   I can't even worry about the coffee pot

00:24:52   I went to a whole foods in California

00:24:56   last night very very interesting

00:24:58   experience there was a lot more shouting

00:25:00   everyone's angry my experience at whole

00:25:03   foods is that everybody is very angry

00:25:05   and impatient

00:25:06   yeah impatient angry there were some

00:25:08   people walking around to just be

00:25:09   shouting which seems normal but then

00:25:11   there were other people that were

00:25:12   shouting at others it was just a very

00:25:14   tense situation I was like hey man we're

00:25:16   all Richie this is water buddy

00:25:18   yeah just chill chill chill the fuck out

00:25:20   you're paying 1499 a pound for salad bar

00:25:25   i put on my cal just like everybody else

00:25:27   well why are you upset yeah nothing to

00:25:30   be upset about using a hot party those

00:25:32   just just sell you macaroni and cheese

00:25:34   and a boxing take it home

00:25:35   how could he be mad about that how could

00:25:37   you be mad about that Jesus Christ a $25

00:25:40   for macaroni and cheese have you ever

00:25:41   done that you buy hot bar rather that'll

00:25:44   put a dent your wall you get to nice

00:25:45   slice of meatloaf and macaroni that's

00:25:47   like 60 bucks yeah you know back in the

00:25:49   touring days Mike Squires used to he

00:25:51   went through a phase where he decided on

00:25:53   tour he was only going to eat food that

00:25:56   was from out from the hot case in in gas

00:26:00   stations so we would drive and we pull

00:26:03   into a gas me up that's it that's a such

00:26:07   a bad idea

00:26:08   well this was it was my sister thought

00:26:09   experiment yeah I was during Mike's you

00:26:11   know period of like how much self-hate

00:26:13   can I put into a basket up in mind that

00:26:16   and so we pull into a gas station it's

00:26:19   like you know everybody jumps out you

00:26:20   can go get a bottle of water or you can

00:26:22   go in the bathroom

00:26:23   p get a coffee or whatever she could get

00:26:26   you could get like what's that what's

00:26:28   that awesome won the New York Times

00:26:29   wrote about you go get that cheddar and

00:26:31   sour cream ruffles which I've discovered

00:26:33   are possibly the greatest food in the

00:26:35   world

00:26:35   well I'm barfing at the thought shutter

00:26:38   sour cream ruffle know he would go in

00:26:42   against but there are known things you

00:26:44   can get you do not need to explore the

00:26:46   spinny meets he so obviously JoJo's

00:26:50   everywhere

00:26:51   jojo's are what time hot cases together

00:26:53   and then you've got your community of

00:26:58   jets it's just like everywhere is in

00:27:00   every job is different don't think that

00:27:02   it said that JoJo's are the same so just

00:27:05   not ojos and then you've got your little

00:27:10   like a in Toronto's or whatever they're

00:27:13   not quite like it's not clear what what

00:27:15   are their taquitos for legal reasons

00:27:18   they have to call them like in Chile

00:27:20   thus yeah so there's them and then

00:27:23   there's egg rolls

00:27:24   sometimes yeah right because it all goes

00:27:26   in a hot case and a fried chicken

00:27:29   sometimes you'll have just a like a

00:27:31   German sausage and then all the things

00:27:34   that get put into like a bread like a

00:27:37   like deep-fried bond right sausage it

00:27:40   deep fried sausage

00:27:41   yeah and then the little hot wrapped

00:27:45   sandwiches in tin foil chicken sandwich

00:27:47   sausage sandwich

00:27:50   translate sausage sandwich that fast

00:27:53   that sandwich and completely awful

00:27:56   that's that's that's making you think we

00:28:00   just say it's fast and it's so Squires

00:28:04   lived on on hot case for a while and it

00:28:07   was like remember and the number but now

00:28:10   they'll arrest of a supportive role is

00:28:12   just like stop doing this

00:28:14   I it was like that mcdonalds guy who ate

00:28:19   McDonald's every day for a year except

00:28:20   it happened way faster is all the color

00:28:23   one of his face except for like red

00:28:26   blotches

00:28:27   oh and he both gay

00:28:30   in weight and also lost 100 right he was

00:28:35   he was transforming for our eyes you

00:28:37   came to smooth did it was a screw

00:28:39   everybody was I don't think see you know

00:28:44   one thing that we I think we talked

00:28:45   about this we're having our we're

00:28:46   Chinese lunch but I had this impression

00:28:48   that especially when it comes to Asian

00:28:50   foods that are served in America a lot

00:28:52   of stuff that gets served as first of

00:28:54   all yeah heavily americanized to our

00:28:56   palates and tastes but also that it's

00:28:58   the kind of food that you eat every five

00:29:00   years at a wedding on like a tiny plate

00:29:02   that you he would not have like all you

00:29:05   can eat anything of like what gets

00:29:08   served at those kinds of places

00:29:10   yeah we yeah we did talk about that

00:29:11   right now well my girlfriend who lived

00:29:14   in China who was a vegetarian and she

00:29:17   would go to these meals and they would

00:29:22   serve like a big platter of you meet me

00:29:25   parks or whatever and she would say you

00:29:27   have any just like vegetables and rice

00:29:28   it's kind of what i would prefer they're

00:29:30   like what we would never serve an

00:29:33   honored guest right the food that we eat

00:29:35   every day it's against asleep on the dog

00:29:37   bed

00:29:38   yeah she's like no that's what i want

00:29:39   just the food that you normally eat

00:29:41   there like ha ha fat chance American

00:29:43   tourists

00:29:44   yeah you're gonna get the we're you need

00:29:46   our once-a-year meal and then you go to

00:29:49   what I went to my favorite not favorite

00:29:52   let's not call her favorite every

00:29:54   Christmas Eve for the last dozen years

00:29:59   my mom and I made a plan i made a made a

00:30:03   pact a long time ago we were going to

00:30:04   play Christmas anymore haha kinda like a

00:30:07   family and we went to house of home my

00:30:10   mom and I would go to house at home and

00:30:13   then we would go to the movies like ten

00:30:17   o'clock movie or something on Christmas

00:30:18   Eve house of home we'd get some moment

00:30:21   fried chicken or whatever you do and

00:30:23   then go to the movies and your house a

00:30:25   home on Christmas Eve you see all your

00:30:27   Jewish friends

00:30:28   right everybody everybody in Seattle

00:30:30   that wasn't celebrating Christmases is

00:30:32   in chinatown so it's a pretty fun time

00:30:35   and and house of hong was the reliably

00:30:40   bad chinese restaurant right it wasn't i

00:30:43   do I know exactly what you mean

00:30:45   yeah you wouldn't take your friends

00:30:47   there if they were coming in from out of

00:30:48   town you wouldn't go it's not a thing

00:30:50   you go to on a regular it's just like we

00:30:53   want almond fried chicken at

00:30:55   eight-thirty p.m. on christmas eve

00:30:58   there's no other place to go

00:31:00   we went to a song the other night

00:31:02   because it was my birthday and my sister

00:31:04   want to meet wanted to take me to the

00:31:06   House hall we went and it has changed

00:31:09   hands over and everything about it is

00:31:13   different and like that the old menu had

00:31:17   400 things on and the new menu has 40

00:31:22   things on and they came and they were

00:31:24   all no good huh

00:31:27   and you think that's disappointing I

00:31:29   mean if they were it was always meant to

00:31:30   be no good but their network in the

00:31:32   passage of time by the little things

00:31:34   that go away like that

00:31:35   yeah like whatever you remember house of

00:31:37   all remember all the Christmases weekend

00:31:38   I was talking about this just this one

00:31:39   let's take you up and talking about just

00:31:41   this week where there's like all these

00:31:42   restaurants that we used to go to on a

00:31:44   regular basis that are just they're just

00:31:45   gone and it's such a tiny thing but

00:31:47   still I call me and i miss the hofbrau

00:31:49   yeah sure i miss you know the little you

00:31:52   know the little man's gone I told you

00:31:54   that

00:31:54   no yes the dim sum is gone well i know

00:31:57   we we walked by there are sure our

00:31:59   crafts yeah now it's now it's like asian

00:32:01   bread

00:32:02   yeah we saw that go down and we were

00:32:04   like hey I think we actually walked in

00:32:06   and said when we did I forgot about you

00:32:08   know what we were high on house Trotter

00:32:09   yeah whatever little bit but having a

00:32:11   little me they were like what happened

00:32:14   to the cats in the kitchen good time

00:32:15   time time to change

00:32:17   get in the kitchen so what is there is

00:32:20   the asian bistro now we wash our hands

00:32:22   of a nice day

00:32:25   corrects yeah I I'm stories etc tours

00:32:30   etc hasn't been around for 25 years I

00:32:33   still miss it

00:32:34   little stories etc was was a was the the

00:32:38   place that every single hipster on in in

00:32:41   Seattle had bread

00:32:42   first on saturday and sunday mornings

00:32:44   there were very few hipsters then so

00:32:47   they could all fit in one restaurant

00:32:48   that's convenient but I had that I had

00:32:51   that experience one time of walking down

00:32:54   the street somebody that i vaguely knew

00:32:56   bumped into me and said hey come and

00:32:58   have breakfast with me at stories etc I

00:33:00   was like sure didn't you know definitely

00:33:02   know that person but have good feelings

00:33:04   about that who went in and they were

00:33:07   meeting two friends both of whom were

00:33:08   like the very charming pretty young

00:33:11   girls i was a young man at the time

00:33:13   mocha we sat down at the table and I

00:33:17   just had one of those magic mornings i

00:33:20   was i was hungover right so I had that

00:33:22   halo magic

00:33:24   yeah that can sometimes be upon a person

00:33:26   when they're hungover second loss a

00:33:29   special extra drink because he get a

00:33:31   certain kind of the department toward

00:33:34   the world that can be that can be kind

00:33:35   of nice can be kind of relaxing too kind

00:33:37   of house you down a little bit and this

00:33:39   was one of those mornings it was just

00:33:40   like that that time when you walk into a

00:33:42   bar and your pool game is just on top

00:33:46   and you're just school and everybody in

00:33:48   pool and you're chill about it and so

00:33:51   everybody in the bar is just loving you

00:33:55   by the end of the night because you

00:33:56   can't miss but you get but you got

00:34:00   nothing invested in it because you're

00:34:01   like I've never seen this before but

00:34:03   you're not but you don't give your

00:34:04   secret away either who just like one

00:34:07   play another game pow pow

00:34:09   it only lasts the spell is very brief

00:34:12   yes last for one night but this was one

00:34:14   of those mornings where i sat at this

00:34:15   table and I just I actually charmed the

00:34:19   clothes off of all three of these people

00:34:21   in the restaurant is it was JJ contends

00:34:24   what's called it was a Tory zeg cetera

00:34:27   ok alright and and by the end it was

00:34:30   clear that I could take these three

00:34:32   people anywhere and have them do

00:34:33   anything and instead i stood up at the

00:34:38   end of a lovely meal and said this has

00:34:41   been lovely to loo before and they said

00:34:45   wait wait don't go

00:34:47   and I was like I must do I must turn on

00:34:50   boom and endo and waltz away and I

00:34:55   always thought back to how my life would

00:34:59   have gone differently if I had just

00:35:00   either taken them sliding doors were

00:35:03   gone with them yes and instead it was

00:35:05   just like this has been perfect

00:35:07   I do not want you to know that I'm not

00:35:09   this perfect all the time right and so

00:35:12   before I say the dumb thing that I

00:35:16   surely am about to say before I ruin

00:35:19   this before my hangover wears off and

00:35:22   all of a sudden I'm talking to you about

00:35:23   a world war 1 i'm going to float off and

00:35:29   you will always hopefully look at the

00:35:33   drinking fountain and remember me

00:35:35   I still do that you still remember my

00:35:37   friend explore Kelly I'm gonna start

00:35:39   doing that other people because it

00:35:40   totally works

00:35:41   yeah it does it's crazy oh my goodness

00:35:42   but you're like--you're ultraman except

00:35:44   they can't see your bling chest and you

00:35:46   know the clock is running

00:35:47   you gotta go because he may be a little

00:35:48   bit george costanza but you know that's

00:35:50   it you've done the best you can it's all

00:35:52   gonna be downhill from here

00:35:54   get out yeah that's right anything as if

00:35:57   I keep talking i I'm gonna lose my cool

00:36:01   right if I keep talking eventually

00:36:03   you're going to look up at the cool

00:36:05   barometer and the winds will have

00:36:06   changing up and the and a new and

00:36:09   depression will have moved in

00:36:11   uh-huh and you're like wool my joints

00:36:13   hurt all of a sudden and it's because

00:36:15   this guy that I thought was amazing has

00:36:16   been talking about the battle of the

00:36:18   somme the thing though a lot of

00:36:21   civilians might understand if you've

00:36:23   never been charming in a restaurant is

00:36:25   that once you've set that high bar it's

00:36:28   extremely disappointed people when you

00:36:31   fall off because didn't actually hate

00:36:32   you

00:36:33   it isn't that they go back to neutral

00:36:34   feeling it they really hate you after

00:36:35   that I think I i'm pretty sure i've told

00:36:38   you the story about a the time another

00:36:41   charm night when i was walking along

00:36:42   with some friends and for some reason i

00:36:45   was in a suit my friends weren't and

00:36:48   there was an up pizza parlor that was

00:36:51   also an art gallery and it was closed

00:36:54   but the lights were on and music was

00:36:56   playing and we walked by and sort of

00:36:59   just walked in Walt's to and there were

00:37:03   half a dozen girls in there who worked

00:37:07   at the pizza parlor was just kind of

00:37:08   like

00:37:09   playing some music having a in wiping

00:37:12   down tables or whatever and we came in

00:37:15   and and they said we're closed and we

00:37:20   were like yeah we know we just heard the

00:37:22   music and thought we'd pop in and they

00:37:24   were like oh and somehow right away we

00:37:28   were all dancing

00:37:29   Wow and this is like a this is like a

00:37:33   nineties film

00:37:34   yeah it was like instant dance party and

00:37:38   we're dancing and the girls are dancing

00:37:40   we are dancing all you know and spray it

00:37:42   with some music that I would never ever

00:37:44   ever have danced to it like mo beers and

00:37:48   one of the girls is someone that I had

00:37:51   seen for years and been intrigued by in

00:37:55   the neighborhood on come on really

00:37:57   yeah she played bass in a band she had

00:37:59   her hair her hair was like wild and

00:38:02   tangled and teased up kinda but not

00:38:03   teased up uh what he teased up in a way

00:38:08   that gave the impression that she never

00:38:09   called it not that she had ever worked

00:38:11   on it for a second man she looked like a

00:38:13   lori petty oh except with big hair

00:38:18   chimney and we're dancing and dancing

00:38:21   and and like I'm in a suit up like a

00:38:24   pinstripe suit but I've got like group

00:38:26   crazy dance moves i'm back in that ass

00:38:28   up right and left the music's loud and

00:38:33   my friends are doing it to my friends

00:38:35   are into it too and my friends are you

00:38:36   know my friends normally are like we can

00:38:38   all agree on cheese or whatever they're

00:38:40   not like dance speed that this

00:38:41   spontaneous dance party with some girls

00:38:43   that work in the punk-rock pizza place

00:38:45   ok so the whole thing's going like what

00:38:47   is happening nobody can nobody in the

00:38:49   room knows what the hell is happening

00:38:50   and the and the girl the amazing girl is

00:38:56   now dancing where she's like she's

00:38:59   dancing with me right she separated me

00:39:02   from the herd a little bit oh man she's

00:39:04   like cleared out the space around us so

00:39:06   we're not it's not just like seven

00:39:08   people dancing with each other it's like

00:39:10   now we're dancing and at a certain point

00:39:13   and I'm just like dancing and she's

00:39:15   dancing and she leans in and she goes

00:39:18   who are you and you ready are you ready

00:39:26   for this yeah very comfortable mean like

00:39:29   up till now this is this is unheard of

00:39:31   everything everything's coming up

00:39:33   Roderick she says she says who are you

00:39:37   like whispers over the loud music in

00:39:40   over my in my ear

00:39:42   who are you and I go like sort of like

00:39:53   super chill face I shrug and go about

00:40:04   i'm about to say I don't you know I

00:40:09   don't know myself I don't know myself

00:40:11   Who I am and she she like steps back

00:40:16   waiting for the answer to her question

00:40:18   she sees me prepare to say i don't i

00:40:22   don't even know I don't know what who am

00:40:24   i and she and her face falls oh and

00:40:29   before I say it she goes she mouths to

00:40:34   me like with a super contemptuous face

00:40:38   like oh I don't even know right

00:40:42   uh-uh that's your that's your deep bro

00:40:45   answer that's your like and I was just

00:40:50   like dead to rights right i mean my

00:40:53   pants basically fell to the floor

00:40:56   the spell was broke and make the magic

00:41:00   just fell off the suit

00:41:01   yeah because she deposits fucked up

00:41:04   because you paused she looked and she

00:41:06   looked at me when I'm pausing she could

00:41:08   easily suss out the the of all the array

00:41:11   of things that you could say you were

00:41:14   going to say something really dumb and

00:41:15   she figured out before you said it

00:41:17   yeah and-and-and she could see as that

00:41:20   corny reply formed on my lips that I was

00:41:24   not the person that she thought I was

00:41:27   then you turn into a pumpkin

00:41:29   yeah i waltzed into this pizza parlor

00:41:31   started a dance party in the three-piece

00:41:36   suit was an excellent dancer and like a

00:41:40   and just like a fucking sorcerer but in

00:41:44   my corn in that in in that one little

00:41:47   moment of possible porn blue right then

00:41:52   and the answer to that question is

00:41:55   hi I'm John right that's the answer the

00:42:00   answer is not anything corny you don't

00:42:02   have to say I'm the wizard from the

00:42:03   north

00:42:04   you just say hey I'm John you can you

00:42:07   said i'm john and i am in my corn

00:42:11   i'm john what's your name and fucking

00:42:15   should we be married now that we've been

00:42:17   married we really be living on a puck

00:42:18   and original this episode of Roderick on

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00:44:47   the great shows your world

00:44:52   her hair is still be wild like turning

00:44:55   turning a little gray yeah it's fucking

00:44:57   tanked role and and and they're having a

00:45:00   dance party a pizza parlor dance party

00:45:02   on a group around the world

00:45:03   oh she's got a little bit she looks like

00:45:05   bride of frankenstein what kind and I'm

00:45:08   so intrigued

00:45:10   yeah and but but in that moment the what

00:45:13   it was was my insecurities was revealed

00:45:15   that that this was a night where I was

00:45:17   playing a super cool game of pool but i

00:45:20   didn't actually I was not actually that

00:45:23   cool because of because i was a

00:45:26   co-parent corny

00:45:28   uh-huh and look this

00:45:32   that's like me at the bachelor party I

00:45:35   think about that

00:45:36   yeah well yeah well shit that happened I

00:45:39   mean I'm still drinking right that

00:45:40   happenin man you still remember what

00:45:42   that message is not part of your curses

00:45:44   in that part of your Sisyphean curses is

00:45:46   you have a pretty good memory for even

00:45:48   stuff you did when you were pretty drunk

00:45:51   when I was drinking I never blacked out

00:45:53   I never blacked out and I very seldom

00:45:57   vomited I that was part of the part of

00:46:02   you know every every alcoholic is

00:46:05   different right and I was one of those i

00:46:07   was a battleship you can put all the

00:46:10   booze in me and I would just keep like I

00:46:13   was a I was a d-9 caterpillar like I

00:46:15   would just gurgurk and never blackout

00:46:20   never forget a thing so I saw although i

00:46:23   was i was at every horrible bachelor

00:46:25   party where everybody was a bachelor

00:46:28   right there was no one was getting

00:46:29   married anywhere i was just awful times

00:46:31   and and all the blood the the

00:46:35   blessedness that is that that quality

00:46:40   and most people where they wake up the

00:46:42   next morning they're like would happened

00:46:43   last night I was like I'll tell you what

00:46:46   happened what's in here all morning

00:46:49   thinking about it is a fucking bloodbath

00:46:50   happened like I never went to sleep

00:46:54   because I'm just sitting here but

00:46:55   replaying the whole it's a nice feeling

00:46:57   and and there's a lot of that stuff is

00:47:00   still with me right i mean i remember i

00:47:03   laid down in an alley one time because i

00:47:07   couldn't walk any further and I was like

00:47:10   this is a knife

00:47:11   Ali is probably no cars are coming down

00:47:14   here on little sleep a little bit little

00:47:17   sleepies little sleepers and I laid down

00:47:22   in the corner of this alley which was

00:47:23   absolutely full of rats it like we're

00:47:27   like I found the probably found the

00:47:29   place where people pissed the most often

00:47:33   for the last hundred and twenty years

00:47:34   curled up there but in my moment was

00:47:38   aware enough that i took my glasses off

00:47:41   and folded them and put them on my night

00:47:45   table which was a pile of garbage and

00:47:50   when I woke up an hour or two later

00:47:54   now it because in the middle of the day

00:47:56   this isn't this isn't like it two in the

00:47:59   two in the morning

00:48:00   this is two in the afternoon

00:48:02   wake up in this hot garbage strewn

00:48:05   piston Ali's I'm like yeah it was

00:48:08   refreshing sleep

00:48:10   do-do-do-do-do birthday purchasing at ya

00:48:15   retweet

00:48:19   still she absolutely shitfaced I stand

00:48:23   up and off I go down the street drip

00:48:27   interpreter but i forgot my glasses are

00:48:30   still on your nightstand so my

00:48:32   nightstand

00:48:33   my vision is blurred enough already that

00:48:35   I that it's not like whoa I can't see

00:48:37   I'm just like we were purple and I gets

00:48:42   wherever somewhere the next place and I

00:48:46   go wash at my glasses and we're going up

00:48:51   turn around pick our perp corporate lurp

00:48:55   back to the alley classes are gone now

00:48:58   no one uses who steals a pair of garbage

00:49:02   class and these were glasses that I had

00:49:04   made because a friend of mine worked as

00:49:07   a like an orderly at the hospital and

00:49:10   they and he came home and he was like

00:49:11   there's a program at the hospital at

00:49:14   where they make glasses free for poor

00:49:16   people and I was like that's me and so I

00:49:20   had I went because I didn't have glasses

00:49:21   at the time and then went and had my

00:49:23   glasses made and they were amazing

00:49:24   because this was an era where I think

00:49:27   you remember this time sometime in the

00:49:30   nineties where all of the shop classes

00:49:34   and like government-issue glasses that

00:49:39   they made in the in proliferation back

00:49:42   in 1961 they were all just like 25 cents

00:49:46   apiece and this government program to

00:49:49   make glasses for people had the these

00:49:52   incredible fifties style like black on

00:49:55   top clear on the bottom

00:49:56   all right out like a style that would

00:49:58   become it's almost like that with the

00:50:00   column in in England NIH classes

00:50:04   yeah then became kind of fashionable

00:50:05   like Morrissey glasses that's right yeah

00:50:07   and it was a pain where those you know

00:50:10   those glasses were fashionable because

00:50:12   they were they were cheap but you know

00:50:14   like

00:50:15   free but I lost that pair of glasses and

00:50:19   who would pick up that would pick up a

00:50:21   pair of glasses from that fucking pistol

00:50:23   i don't know probably somebody else they

00:50:26   stopped by to sleep there or maybe it

00:50:29   was the little bird maybe it was the

00:50:31   song is somebody else's bed and that was

00:50:32   their nightstand

00:50:33   yeah that could be with all these

00:50:35   glasses doing on my nightstand

00:50:37   that's my pilot these will do but that's

00:50:40   simply click but like that scene in the

00:50:43   new adventures in babysitting

00:50:45   oh where the girl takes her glasses off

00:50:47   and then the little homeless lady comes

00:50:48   by and put someone is like I can see and

00:50:50   walks off and then the girl can't then

00:50:54   she can't really do remember every she's

00:50:56   stuck in the bus station

00:50:57   no offense to babysit that sounds like a

00:51:00   big part of the adventure it well but

00:51:01   it's but she's just a like a she's a

00:51:05   tertiary character i sees the one that's

00:51:08   like in she's she's the emergency

00:51:11   meeting that causes the babysitter to

00:51:15   take the kids into chicago I'll see I

00:51:18   don't know this story so she's the

00:51:20   MacGuffin she's the MacGuffin so they

00:51:22   have to have to leave have to leave the

00:51:25   comfort of their suburban like John

00:51:28   Hughes neighborhood huh

00:51:31   and she has to take these three

00:51:32   irascible kids

00:51:34   oh one of them the oldest the little boy

00:51:37   is younger enough than her that he needs

00:51:40   a babysitter

00:51:41   yeah he's old enough to be in love with

00:51:43   her I know that one and then the little

00:51:46   the little girl is a she's you know not

00:51:50   very old six or something seven but

00:51:53   she's in love with four but the

00:51:55   comic-book care who and so she spends

00:51:57   the whole movie in love with or until

00:51:59   she finally meets Thor in the in the

00:52:03   person of a auto mechanic in like the

00:52:08   grittiest downtown chicago for played by

00:52:14   wait for a tow

00:52:16   so who is the actor that you least would

00:52:24   think of as for well Sean

00:52:26   haha this episode of rock on the line is

00:52:33   brought to you in part by Casper can

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00:54:53   our thanks to you guys for all the great

00:54:55   night sleep and first morning

00:54:57   rock on the line follows fast so fast

00:55:00   know it everyone cool huh they're gonna

00:55:05   get somebody from a scar when death is

00:55:07   on the line

00:55:08   haha no its it again didn't I can't

00:55:15   unsee it

00:55:16   he'd still be super strong baby fucking

00:55:18   Wallace Shawn I'm the great i would

00:55:21   watch I would so like the Avengers with

00:55:22   Wallace Shawn nest or wash on his store

00:55:25   but Yuma character of of bump my my

00:55:31   dinner with Andre yeah exactly

00:55:33   ok so I'll try to be more realistic this

00:55:35   is a movie it's made with the early

00:55:36   nineties probably know it ladies but

00:55:38   somebody you least expect it is an actor

00:55:41   that I know

00:55:42   yes okay uh you know I i can guess I'm

00:55:48   just gonna jump right in

00:55:49   go Vincent D'Onofrio it's D'Onofrio huh

00:55:55   it's an interesting career okay now I'll

00:55:58   let myself look it up and operate at

00:56:00   that very same moment was also playing

00:56:02   the guy in Full Metal Jacket who was

00:56:05   born again hard

00:56:06   Laurel and Hardy had already been the

00:56:08   bodyguard wasn't ours at the other guy

00:56:11   that's the other guy that's the

00:56:12   gamergate guy he was investing our free

00:56:15   oh yes he was born again hard ones even

00:56:17   before that he was in know he was in was

00:56:19   he in them busy men in black was later

00:56:21   using men in black with that was later

00:56:22   but so you lose them to confuse out in

00:56:25   baldwin and mrs. off you know what kind

00:56:28   of ball one has that ball Adam Baldwin

00:56:31   is like some kind of distillation of

00:56:33   baldwin ism down to all the thinking

00:56:36   seated fart

00:56:37   yeah like it's all this stuff about ball

00:56:39   one bald ones all the Baldwin ask

00:56:42   characteristics but I don't like like I

00:56:46   like Alec Baldwin despite all the

00:56:48   reasons not to like oh gosh yeah i mean

00:56:50   he's one of those he's an American

00:56:52   antihero

00:56:53   yeah that's right but like all the other

00:56:55   bald ones remember when the Baldwin's

00:56:57   were a thing like all the balls are huge

00:56:59   people talked about the Baldwin's as if

00:57:01   it was a good thing that matter they

00:57:02   were the lots of the nineties full metal

00:57:05   jacket and adventures in babysitting

00:57:06   both came out in 1987 is in the ya

00:57:10   episode of the equal at two episodes of

00:57:12   the equalizer has two different people

00:57:13   using mystic pizza

00:57:16   this is when he was still Vincent Philip

00:57:17   D'Onofrio who and then what I next know

00:57:20   him and he's in JFK I don't remember

00:57:22   that he's in the player i don't remember

00:57:23   that but if you look at him I remember

00:57:26   him being Orson Welles in Deadwood if

00:57:28   you look at a picture of him as for

00:57:30   adventures in babysitting right and then

00:57:33   you look at a picture of him as the

00:57:35   board again hard character same same

00:57:38   year huh

00:57:39   you realize that Vincent D'Onofrio is

00:57:41   greatest American huh

00:57:43   oh my goodness look at oh my goodness

00:57:47   look at him and then and then he ends up

00:57:51   on CSI

00:57:52   but you know a like new brunswick or

00:57:55   whatever the rights on the show we tilt

00:57:56   his head a lot but there is thats is

00:57:59   that's that that's where he got his

00:58:00   start as he's wearing a blue like

00:58:03   undershirt and he's got long uh like

00:58:05   very blond hair and a red baseball cap

00:58:08   baseball cap and he comes down out of

00:58:09   some smokies guy he's carrying a big

00:58:11   hammer little girl is like it's Thor in

00:58:15   my store

00:58:16   he's actually kind of mean who and that

00:58:19   thought I mean to your door is very

00:58:21   conceited that's how he ran into

00:58:23   problems

00:58:23   Oh see I didn't know enough about for ya

00:58:26   when i watched adventures in babysitting

00:58:28   together now it makes sense that thought

00:58:30   when we watch The Avengers my wife

00:58:32   turned to me and said stories basically

00:58:33   every guy i tried to avoid at parties at

00:58:36   santa cruz oh sure you know and so the

00:58:39   drama thora story is very conceited he

00:58:41   felt pretty positive that he was going

00:58:43   to be the heir apparent to Odin and then

00:58:45   he got really conceited and that's when

00:58:47   he took away my owner and he said he

00:58:48   said you can have your stripping of your

00:58:50   powers I'm gonna go to earth and you're

00:58:52   going to be you're going to be a

00:58:53   slightly disabled doctor he was a doctor

00:58:55   that which is nice

00:58:56   uh but he's he's stripped of his power

00:58:59   instead of his powers he has to earth

00:59:00   then he has he figured something out

00:59:02   something something he redeemed himself

00:59:03   he continues to be a doctor he's got it

00:59:05   he's got a can be

00:59:06   as he has a walking problem when he

00:59:07   smashes his cane really hard on the

00:59:09   ground it turns into mill near any meat

00:59:10   come store i see that's what we used to

00:59:13   do more transformation of the

00:59:14   superheroes and Mueller is the hammer

00:59:16   mia yah mule near member Mia and Loki is

00:59:20   his brother who is also bad

00:59:22   oh yeah he's really bad news no see he's

00:59:24   the problem the thing is Thor is a dick

00:59:27   but look he is perfidious he's disloyal

00:59:29   affinity is the worst kind of bad it's

00:59:32   the worst kind of disloyalty for sure

00:59:34   and so he's he and that's the reason the

00:59:36   Avengers were formed fiscal okie who has

00:59:39   these be basically is he's escaped from

00:59:41   his mental jail that he was put in he

00:59:43   goes to earth and he makes it look like

00:59:47   a train is going off the tracks he gets

00:59:50   into a Bruce banners head and so hawk

00:59:54   goes to try and save the train but it

00:59:56   looks like he's attacking the train

00:59:57   doors are formed in the

00:59:57   doors are formed in the

01:00:00   circa nineteen sixty-one the Avengers

01:00:01   are formed to go after Hulk because he's

01:00:04   a bad guy so they bring a man because

01:00:06   he's a guy who can send his hands all

01:00:07   over the world to find Marcus you know

01:00:09   I'm fighting hands right now California

01:00:11   oh my goodness you know my sugar ants

01:00:13   your you know my experience with north

01:00:14   northwest and yes and spiders

01:00:18   I am Legend in in the northwest as like

01:00:20   a holocaust her but here

01:00:23   yeah they're going to sink hole we ship

01:00:26   the ends in Southern California do not

01:00:28   kid around

01:00:29   yeah when they come upon one of our

01:00:32   waiters while they're looking for work

01:00:33   well that's the thing that most

01:00:34   beautiful and I ever saw them but ma ma

01:00:37   maybe art they're the most here's what

01:00:40   it is they were the most talented and in

01:00:42   their own communities sure like the best

01:00:45   entertainment began a small pond

01:00:47   I'm looking out the window to people

01:00:48   with buttons went by oh I've got my

01:00:51   spool here but I can't get out there you

01:00:54   know that they could take it probably

01:00:56   they could probably power and iphone for

01:00:58   a couple hours of those buns but they're

01:00:59   not there is walking around but that's

01:01:00   normal

01:01:01   if you don't think about that if you and

01:01:03   your significant other both have top

01:01:05   buttons who how

01:01:09   why wouldn't you tie them together once

01:01:11   positive one is negative right why

01:01:13   wouldn't you just run a little spool

01:01:14   even if it wasn't metal wire what if it

01:01:16   was just ribbin people already share

01:01:18   headphones John you're going public

01:01:20   transit and there's a couple Chinese

01:01:22   kids sharing and sharing their ipod same

01:01:24   deal here that wire could be i think

01:01:26   it's in an electrical transducer or

01:01:28   modem and that would be used for to one

01:01:31   of these positive one of these negative

01:01:33   and then that would generate enough

01:01:34   power for the ipod with some leftover

01:01:36   for the grid if you saw two people

01:01:38   walking on the beach in Venice

01:01:39   California they both had burns and they

01:01:41   were both flying kites from their buns

01:01:43   ok how would that make you feel because

01:01:47   it would fill me with joy i would say

01:01:49   here are some people here are some

01:01:51   millennium not SS SS me up for a minute

01:01:53   40 unit because the kite would be

01:01:56   pulling the bun up i have been a speech

01:01:59   problem

01:02:00   oh well it's it's a it's it's it's

01:02:07   it's a willful unusualness oh yeah yeah

01:02:12   there's a lot of that but you're gonna

01:02:13   find that in ann arbor 24 or all the

01:02:17   other are but you gotta wear more layers

01:02:19   their true true but like the willful I

01:02:22   mean the thing about Venice i think is

01:02:24   like the there the the the kumquats are

01:02:30   thick on the ground here who you know

01:02:33   what I mean like you don't have it do

01:02:35   you remember when being a wastoid

01:02:39   burnout seemed like it was a valid job

01:02:45   yes right and that 1982 remember 1982 it

01:02:49   was it was something to aspire to and

01:02:51   you know we talked about the the origins

01:02:53   of various kinds of Valley speak and

01:02:54   serve talk i mean that that was some of

01:02:57   that has antecedents in well in our

01:02:59   group that kind of Lodi's but you can

01:03:01   take burnouts I don't know where that

01:03:02   came from Lotus but i guess because they

01:03:04   got loaded but you get that you get the

01:03:05   Judas Priest drawn your folder easily

01:03:08   got a flannel shirt you fall asleep in

01:03:09   class

01:03:10   you're always in the smoking area

01:03:11   because yes high schools you have

01:03:12   smoking areas

01:03:13   yes and and not in your date will regard

01:03:16   except you're not canadian women

01:03:18   yeah when Gardner to canadian first of

01:03:20   all and also like to whatever it like

01:03:23   beckham hashers is that we call it up

01:03:24   there commissures is that is that a is

01:03:26   that considered a slider a slur sure I

01:03:29   feel like hasher came later in Anchorage

01:03:32   we call them stalkers stoners ok and

01:03:35   stoner was a blanket term for any kind

01:03:38   of sort of burner you know anybody that

01:03:42   was anybody that was because a stoner

01:03:46   would look at you and I'm not talking

01:03:47   about like a like a sixty-five-year-old

01:03:49   burnout stoner that's what they were

01:03:51   that's what they aspire to but when

01:03:52   you're 18 year old stoner yeah he's not

01:03:55   really fighting

01:03:56   I mean you gotta really to get kill

01:03:58   those brain cells permanently you're

01:03:59   gonna have to really stick with it and

01:04:01   there was a there was a tremendous

01:04:02   element of defiance right the stoners

01:04:06   would look at you and say I choose

01:04:09   nothingness right like I am

01:04:12   this is a valid life choice mmm i am I

01:04:16   do not care about your bullshit these

01:04:18   men are nihilist honey trap right now

01:04:22   and there's a transient me what's in the

01:04:24   box

01:04:25   mm no no that was ever to Russell it's

01:04:27   totally true and it was a life choice

01:04:29   and it was it a contrary to what

01:04:32   appeared to be it was not simply a

01:04:34   reaction to straight culture it was seen

01:04:36   as an affirmative stance

01:04:38   mm and that i remember very distinctly

01:04:41   mean we've all stood at the crossroads

01:04:45   who and we've all looked down one as far

01:04:49   as we couldn't tell where penned into

01:04:51   the undergrowth who but there was a

01:04:54   moment right where you're where you're

01:04:56   thinking like Spicoli is the coolest

01:04:58   character and fast times at ridgemont

01:05:00   high perhaps that coolness is also

01:05:03   available to me but Spicoli has made a

01:05:07   life choice Spicoli is on a path Spicoli

01:05:11   his reproach model with mr. hand over

01:05:14   the end of the film does not mean that

01:05:16   mr. hand has converted Spicoli to caring

01:05:19   about the identity that would be a

01:05:21   different film so different film i mean

01:05:24   if the fact that mr. hand comes to his

01:05:25   house in the way that he does and that's

01:05:27   a wonderful turn but also the fact that

01:05:30   you know they don't end up jumping into

01:05:31   a pool together I like that a lot

01:05:33   well and who is more changed quickly or

01:05:36   mr. hand you know I never have thought

01:05:38   about along you know what I mean like I

01:05:39   feel like being around my time now is

01:05:41   the one that's right mr. hand has as a

01:05:44   as as izzy is is changed and evolved by

01:05:47   the end of that but so I'm walking down

01:05:50   venice beach and i'm looking around and

01:05:52   i have this like wow this is there are

01:05:58   stoner burnouts here that are from my

01:06:02   time there are people here who who came

01:06:06   to that Spicoli crossroads and they took

01:06:10   the other as just as fair m and here

01:06:13   this resonates I just sit there and

01:06:15   smoke a doobie the crossroads something

01:06:17   they came into the crossroads who they

01:06:19   try to hitch a ride huh

01:06:21   and they saw the devil and they said

01:06:23   take me to the other side plank and dust

01:06:26   my broom and so they're they're they're

01:06:29   sitting around there walking around

01:06:32   their fucking riding a unicycle and it's

01:06:35   not just the guy that looks like Jimi

01:06:36   Hendrix on roller skates and it's not

01:06:39   like i sat down there the other day and

01:06:41   there were maybe ten black guys about my

01:06:45   age sitting around on the stone the

01:06:47   stands around the basketball court and

01:06:49   they were arguing loud about basketball

01:06:54   teams from the eighties john who was the

01:06:57   best

01:06:57   yeah and I knew all I knew everything I

01:07:00   knew every name that they were saying

01:07:02   and they were really up in each others

01:07:04   face about it like you know what your

01:07:07   guests and surprises the first time this

01:07:08   has come up this is like your old all

01:07:10   guys sitting on a stupid Turkey

01:07:11   yeah this these guys I think probably

01:07:14   have a version of this argument every

01:07:16   day

01:07:17   yeah and part of the loudness of it is

01:07:19   that it is a performance their conscious

01:07:22   of being we are the Venice Beach

01:07:24   middle-aged guys that sit around the

01:07:27   basketball court and what we do is argue

01:07:31   loudly about things from our childhood

01:07:35   or whatever like Iverson you know

01:07:37   they're just like screaming at each

01:07:39   other the Celtic Celtics were the you

01:07:42   know chelton melting

01:07:43   I don't know my friend right now people

01:07:47   think it's like like Apache Esperanto

01:07:49   fortran any other languages is something

01:07:52   are they teaching its young people are

01:07:53   they bringing in are they bring in new

01:07:55   people out work you have to be of the

01:07:57   vintage to argue about Larry Bird yeah

01:08:00   you have to care because young people

01:08:01   just roll their eyes at him because

01:08:03   there's been four or five complete

01:08:06   iterations of like basketball culture

01:08:10   since the since Michael Jordan like an

01:08:13   old a black guy version is like slacker

01:08:16   like sit around like like talking about

01:08:18   scooby-doo this moment in time for my 25

01:08:21   30 40 years ago you still like just just

01:08:23   turning over because there was never in

01:08:26   in their world right there was never a

01:08:28   better moment not just in basketball but

01:08:32   in history of a

01:08:35   the Bulls vs the the celtics writer or

01:08:39   LA right was the big rivalries or

01:08:41   whatever l 118 lakers and the lakers in

01:08:44   the celtics ya get magic vs Larry Bird

01:08:47   and and so that was such and I that is

01:08:50   just like cast in iron in my own mind

01:08:54   and I didn't care about it like the idea

01:08:59   that there would ever be a bigger moment

01:09:01   in sports than that rivalry which was

01:09:03   like so profound and I felt like I felt

01:09:07   like you know turn around and being like

01:09:08   well what about a you know the beauty

01:09:13   jazz but the witch named still really

01:09:18   gets under my skin

01:09:19   the Jazz the chance yeah famous utah

01:09:22   famous for its jazz scene right John

01:09:25   Stockton John Stockton he played when he

01:09:28   and the Bulls right well you want to

01:09:31   play for the Jazz now and John Stockton

01:09:33   went to Gonzaga where I want so he was

01:09:36   on and Gonzaga was a busy with college

01:09:39   as you know that's like basketball is

01:09:40   the big thing for guns and I learned

01:09:42   about you talk a lot about deadly

01:09:44   shrimps

01:09:45   yeah I learned about him because he's on

01:09:46   several episodes of parks and rec and he

01:09:48   used to play for the the Sonics that's

01:09:50   right it was a long time ago and the

01:09:52   sauna so in the early nineties right

01:09:54   that was sonics heyday and these guys

01:09:56   got into the Sonics they were they were

01:09:59   yelling at each other about and I SAT

01:10:00   there because I was loving it

01:10:02   I did not want to be anywhere else and

01:10:05   they yelled at each other about eighties

01:10:06   basketball until they were yelling at

01:10:08   each other about the Sonics and early

01:10:10   nineties basketball which I still could

01:10:12   follow along like I understood the terms

01:10:14   yeah but so so waltzing around down in

01:10:17   Venice IC IC the the the culture down

01:10:22   there and like underneath the underneath

01:10:27   the level of people selling a like

01:10:29   Guatemalan pans underneath the level of

01:10:33   in a sideshow Parker Parker ism

01:10:37   the like whatever creepy like sub but

01:10:40   like the real muscle beaches in santa

01:10:43   monica right there but there's another

01:10:44   muscle beach in Venice or like feel that

01:10:47   muscle beach and having you exactly

01:10:49   yeah like yeah it's the its earlier

01:10:52   muscle beach feel like every answer

01:10:53   Lysander's love the beach I feel like I

01:10:56   want to send my remark because i have

01:10:57   not been to Venice in a long time and I

01:10:58   realized I sound like a dick

01:11:00   there's there's a culture of performance

01:11:01   to what those people are doing and now i

01:11:02   feel kind of a dick that I said anything

01:11:04   no no I because because I've been to

01:11:07   Venice Beach in Venice California 1000

01:11:10   times and I Drive down

01:11:12   Albert kidney and I go to the beach and

01:11:14   I walk walk around and I go there's

01:11:16   nothing here for me and then I leave and

01:11:19   then I came back and I did it again I

01:11:21   was like there's nothing here for me and

01:11:22   then I leave and then there's a Pinot we

01:11:25   stop and get coffee and inteligencia and

01:11:27   like I don't like this either

01:11:28   for years I've been coming here and

01:11:30   saying there's nothing here that

01:11:32   interest me but now i'm here at more as

01:11:35   a local and spending the days here and i

01:11:41   find that there's their their levels

01:11:43   upon levels but everybody a little bit

01:11:46   of like and live in the suburbs are

01:11:48   going to the mall

01:11:49   we're going to the mall was its own

01:11:52   thing you were not there to buy a dress

01:11:54   shirt right you were maybe kind of their

01:11:57   to get an Orange Julius but I freely

01:11:59   went to the mall without a nickel in my

01:12:00   pocket just to go to the mall and there

01:12:02   was something that you did you knew

01:12:04   somebody that worked at the squire shop

01:12:05   it was kind of our version of cruising

01:12:07   like like in a car like you walk around

01:12:09   the mall for like three hours that's

01:12:11   what we do that we just go to we would

01:12:12   just go to the mall and that sounds

01:12:14   somewhat similar

01:12:15   this is the third place is the third

01:12:16   location for people yeah i bought a

01:12:18   bicycle from a guy i said i need a

01:12:22   bicycle and this guy had a like a a

01:12:28   rotten a rally an old raleigh 3-speed

01:12:32   raleigh that I recognized immediately as

01:12:34   a an older raleigh those are a British

01:12:40   British bikes and so I said I'd give him

01:12:44   a hundred bucks for it and he said okay

01:12:47   and then I you know I did some searching

01:12:50   did some online searching to try and

01:12:52   identify the the raleigh it turns out

01:12:55   it's in 1966 raleigh who which i'm in

01:12:59   the process of sort of cleaning up and

01:13:00   fix it up but so now I got this little

01:13:04   this little vintagey sort of thing being

01:13:06   kind of bicycle i look at David basket

01:13:09   on yours

01:13:10   I so i have a have a rack in the back

01:13:12   and I'm and I'm i want to put a basket

01:13:14   on it but i want it i want the runtastic

01:13:16   to be one that you can put a bunch of

01:13:20   stuff in right i want to be able to put

01:13:22   a like a gallon of milk and a loaf of

01:13:23   bread and stick of butter and be nice to

01:13:26   be able to stick in a standard grocery

01:13:27   bag without having to fiddle

01:13:29   yeah i just put it in and it's like

01:13:31   that's kind of a delivery guy Basque

01:13:33   basak okay so i'm trying to find the

01:13:36   right one so I haven't I haven't

01:13:37   committed to it yet but so I'm riding

01:13:41   around so now I'm a local right this

01:13:42   isn't some dumb beach bike that I rent

01:13:44   it from somebody who this is my quirky

01:13:47   sixties like three speed British bike

01:13:50   and so now I'm already feeling like

01:13:53   what's Mike work you know going tonight

01:13:55   am I gonna get a bowler

01:13:57   yeah you know your that that's now your

01:14:00   year you get that point where you gotta

01:14:01   like oh you do i always want to sit on

01:14:03   the side watch everybody else dance

01:14:04   exactly it's gonna be a party i should

01:14:06   get in there dance so yesterday i was

01:14:08   having breakfast here in Venice Beach a

01:14:09   guy rolls up ready for this motorcycle

01:14:14   sidecar now what's in the side armor one

01:14:18   bulldog that's right and what's the

01:14:20   Bulldog wearing this is he wearing

01:14:24   aviator helmet because this guy's got a

01:14:29   he's got a pair of goggles really

01:14:35   happened on the dog and and a

01:14:39   handkerchief your next move around feels

01:14:41   like something union where if he's like

01:14:43   as you went down that path there was no

01:14:45   way that wouldn't end with a bulldog

01:14:47   just as an aviator so here i'm watching

01:14:50   this guy gets up there and it's like a

01:14:51   platonic form of Bulldogs exactly right

01:14:54   it's a platonic form you know you might

01:14:56   not put into to you might not put in a

01:14:58   baseball cap that dog that dog needs to

01:15:00   be an aviator

01:15:01   what's so watching the whole thing

01:15:02   unfold he pulls up in front of the

01:15:03   sidewalk cafe where I meeting he talked

01:15:05   to some people think they take his

01:15:07   picture with the dog he looks like a

01:15:09   normal guy he's not he's not wearing a

01:15:12   sunflower costume right he's not Peter

01:15:15   Gabriel he's like just wearing a jean

01:15:18   jacket

01:15:19   normal haircut and but he doesn't come

01:15:24   into the restaurant he's he's out front

01:15:26   of the restaurant for a while talking to

01:15:28   people it's not clear that he knows

01:15:30   anything he saw somebody was like hey

01:15:31   there's my friend pulling over and then

01:15:33   he gets on the motorcycle and the dog

01:15:35   drive off and it's like does he just he

01:15:37   just touring all the restaurants it's

01:15:39   like sunday sunday morning I've seen

01:15:42   I've seen people who do that I've seen

01:15:43   belly dancers that do that I think

01:15:45   people who just go from place to place

01:15:47   doing their performance ya doing their

01:15:50   work and so as i said as i sat and

01:15:52   watched him and i watch this unfold I

01:15:54   was like wait a minute this is a this is

01:15:57   a platonic form this guy has chosen to

01:16:01   be that guy

01:16:04   the motorcycle with the Bulldog with the

01:16:06   sidecar with the goggles sky he didn't

01:16:10   invent this this is a this is the thing

01:16:12   that we all these days as the hint has

01:16:15   the hinges would say he's an avatar

01:16:16   he's an avatar right he is the he is the

01:16:20   mark twain impersonator but right now in

01:16:26   Venice California he may be the only one

01:16:28   he may be the guy and if I were 19 years

01:16:32   old it's like a century 21 franchise say

01:16:35   a limited to certain territory this is

01:16:37   what I wonder what does he do if he's if

01:16:39   he rides up in venice beach and there's

01:16:40   another guy with a motorcycle with a

01:16:42   sidecar with a bulldog with goggles

01:16:44   like what if you want to be the parent

01:16:45   guy there's already passed apparent what

01:16:48   you want if you want to be talks about

01:16:49   the deficit guy you're gonna have to go

01:16:51   to tell if he dresses like Mark Twain

01:16:53   guy there's a very good chance there's

01:16:55   already a dresses like Mark Twain guy or

01:16:57   what if you're Jimi Hendrix on roller

01:16:59   skates guy like there's been a jimi

01:17:02   hendrix on roller skates on venice beach

01:17:04   for 40 years

01:17:07   is it the same guy the whole time does

01:17:08   he play guitar away skating he does Oh

01:17:10   as an amplifier on his back and he's a

01:17:14   good piece

01:17:14   good enough guitar player that you

01:17:15   identify the guitar parts as Jim

01:17:17   Henderson Jimi Hendrix Ian but does is

01:17:24   it the same guy does he anoint the next

01:17:26   guy did you try out for that job when

01:17:29   the when the guys ready to retire but

01:17:31   but the motorcycle guy I was like which

01:17:34   element came first right did he have the

01:17:37   bulldog and then he said hey haha i'm

01:17:41   gonna put goggles on you and then he was

01:17:43   like wait a minute

01:17:44   yeah this feels right to me and then he

01:17:46   bought a motorcycle with a sidecar or

01:17:50   yeah

01:17:51   did he have a motorcycle and then he was

01:17:54   many felt like you know I've always

01:17:56   wanted a sidecar because i was a I was a

01:17:59   motorcycle person and I wanted a sidecar

01:18:03   until guess it went motorcycle for a

01:18:06   long time

01:18:07   Bulldog for some time oh he strapped on

01:18:10   a sidecar and that point it's just a

01:18:12   trip to the flea market 222 deck out

01:18:14   your your animal so you feel like he

01:18:17   sandwiched his way into it i don't see

01:18:19   how it goes backwards we're watching a

01:18:20   project runway where somebody made a

01:18:22   pattern that was based on their own

01:18:23   tattoo which I found very convoluted i

01:18:26   think i think it's like I cannot comes

01:18:28   razor thing like you know was like the

01:18:30   order that way because it'll be very sad

01:18:32   we started with chuckles you get back

01:18:39   solving the goggles i looked at it and

01:18:44   felt like it was very real possible my

01:18:46   god a stoner burnout just walked by the

01:18:48   front there

01:18:51   I mean they're real here they look like

01:18:52   they're that close yeah yeah like

01:18:55   clearly he had no he was like.he he

01:18:59   seriously was the dude right particular

01:19:02   did ya just missing the sweater how man

01:19:05   82 degrees or whatever but I looked at

01:19:07   the motorcycle sidecar guy and I felt

01:19:10   like the whole thing came to him in a

01:19:11   fever dream

01:19:12   uh-huh like tomorrow I like today I am

01:19:17   myself tomorrow i'm going to set in

01:19:21   motion a chain of events that will that

01:19:24   will will transform me

01:19:26   into motorcycle side darkside Bulldog

01:19:30   guy right

01:19:33   you know like yeah I'm thinking because

01:19:35   last night I was a movie I watched for

01:19:36   the fourth or fifth time which is called

01:19:38   a blue to prove you think of deceptive

01:19:41   practice and Ricky J think you might

01:19:44   have seen it once or twice I have you

01:19:46   know what should i watch it fairly

01:19:48   regularly because it's amazing and I'm

01:19:50   the toxin particular about his

01:19:52   relationship with the kids wasn't

01:19:54   charlie miller and I vernon and how he

01:19:56   would go to the magic castle in like

01:19:57   there was like this this like it was

01:19:59   like Fagan they're like all of these a

01:20:01   spy in the seventies they're always like

01:20:02   aspiring young magicians who would hang

01:20:05   out with these guys and like try and get

01:20:08   the information and would never give

01:20:10   away their know he totally messed them

01:20:12   like one time according to ricky jay you

01:20:15   know he indicated is an amazing thing

01:20:16   where he throws a card boomerangs back

01:20:18   to him and I've earned said I've done at

01:20:20   39 times I've never been able to 40

01:20:22   times if you can do 40 times i'll tell

01:20:24   you this effect that you want to know

01:20:25   and he did it and the 40th caught it

01:20:27   behind his back

01:20:28   just because he's a magic guy point

01:20:31   being like they're all jockeying they're

01:20:32   playing them against each other they're

01:20:34   good grooming the magician's basically

01:20:37   but like I wonder if something similar

01:20:38   happens do you have to go an apprentice

01:20:40   with somebody else's a motorcycle

01:20:42   sidecar Bulldog man here's the piers I

01:20:44   mean the thing that scared me

01:20:47   I bet there's a lot you can get wrong

01:20:48   and you might not learn for five years

01:20:50   something you've been doing wrong

01:20:51   this is what I'm this is what scared me

01:20:53   yeah the guy first of all two things one

01:20:56   he's wearing a denim jacket but it's a

01:20:57   sand colored denim jack

01:21:00   hmm I was like okay I haven't seen one

01:21:05   of those in a long time

01:21:06   it sounds like kind of a dad jacket

01:21:08   little bit you mean like a classic

01:21:10   Levi's but sin is that sandy color it's

01:21:13   insane because then everyone kind of

01:21:14   cold when Levi's was making sand color

01:21:17   denim i think i do this is one of those

01:21:19   but it's in Nice shape it's not like

01:21:21   ratty it's nice second problem that

01:21:24   looks like Tom Hanks oh that's nice and

01:21:29   interesting wrinkle right domestic it

01:21:31   looks like your heels i'm thinking it

01:21:33   looks like one of the biker guys in

01:21:34   pee-wee's big adventure right or maybe

01:21:36   somebody like the machi brothers or

01:21:38   somebody episode of the month

01:21:40   he's got that wrong yeah he looks like

01:21:42   Tom Hanks top to bottom

01:21:44   oh my god likes skinny but sand-colored

01:21:47   Levi's jacket I I didn't see his shoes

01:21:49   but I'm gonna say like not boat shoes

01:21:54   but in the in the larger than finally

01:21:57   slip-on she didn't answer at all the

01:21:59   whole thing was the dogs idea that guy's

01:22:00   just catching up

01:22:01   I think that's what I wonder i mean the

01:22:03   dogs submitted to the goggles the

01:22:05   goggles came off and on like three or

01:22:06   four times just about every time the

01:22:09   goggles went on the dogs just like

01:22:10   didn't bat an eye

01:22:13   huh I feel like the I feel like I feel

01:22:17   like he saw a movie and he had the money

01:22:20   to accomplish this task and like he did

01:22:26   not seem at all like a roller skate Jimi

01:22:30   Hendrix he seemed like a guy that works

01:22:34   on the on the admin side of film right

01:22:40   like all day long he's around

01:22:42   he works on designing women or or sure

01:22:45   another cut contemporary webseries yeah

01:22:47   yeah he works on a show where the

01:22:51   on-camera people are quirky and the

01:22:54   riders are quirky and he's been saving

01:22:56   for awhile

01:22:57   yeah he's in it's something he's in the

01:22:59   game right but he's you know he's like

01:23:02   the second assistant accountant person

01:23:06   hand and he's like I'm not going to get

01:23:09   I you know I gotta get I gotta up my

01:23:12   quick game here to play with the big

01:23:14   boys in santa monica and the dog seems

01:23:16   to like it but don't like sit the dog

01:23:19   gets its all the attention in the world

01:23:20   but he see in my head I thought and

01:23:25   maybe I'm being a little little

01:23:26   on-the-nose here I guess I figured that

01:23:28   they would in my head there's ninety

01:23:30   percent chance they're dressed almost

01:23:31   identically m which is you know I think

01:23:34   people do especially motorcycle people

01:23:35   they like to look kind of the same right

01:23:37   you know what maybe to you and your and

01:23:39   your mall or it could be you and your

01:23:42   crew but use a uniform you wear the

01:23:44   colors I thought that would be kind of a

01:23:46   cute thing if maybe they're just simple

01:23:48   for you know it would also be funny if

01:23:49   it was like there was a lot of the

01:23:51   in contrast maybe he's Harpo Marx but

01:23:53   the he would inhabit a certain character

01:23:55   beyond the guy who looks like Tom Hanks

01:23:57   yeah that surprised me

01:24:00   yeah yeah yeah yeah well the Mets it's a

01:24:03   world of surprises and they're not all

01:24:05   surprises in the they're not all

01:24:08   surprises in the amps sometimes they're

01:24:10   surprises in the bolts hmm i mean i

01:24:13   think i do yeah so you know you're used

01:24:16   to being like whoa so many amps but it's

01:24:18   like me it's not really the amps here

01:24:19   who's it's the torque yeah that's right

01:24:22   yeah I mean it's maybe he doesn't want

01:24:27   to distract from the dog I don't think

01:24:30   thats it hes he was soaking up that the

01:24:33   dollar it really take turns people are

01:24:35   throwing dollars at the dog but they're

01:24:37   going into the garter belt of the dude I

01:24:39   get it I get it it's like that star star

01:24:43   star 99 star-69 oh yeah its star 69

01:24:47   rosemary Stratton what's in here and she

01:24:48   demands and family we think of rosemary

01:24:50   Stratton knows i'm thinking isn't that

01:24:52   Gorge and there's good George Clooney's

01:24:54   mom right

01:24:56   Oh racetrack on my house my house my

01:24:59   Grammy dress you like a dog

01:25:02   hi i do not remember my dreams anymore

01:25:06   yeah Oh at all you know what

01:25:10   so you know you have on but you don't

01:25:12   remember them yeah but i never have

01:25:15   nightmares I never had bad dreams my

01:25:19   dream life is like this wonderful

01:25:20   wonderful landscape

01:25:22   I can't wait to get there I love stand

01:25:25   it's a good vacation photos right when i

01:25:28   wake up the dream like in the in the

01:25:32   moment I wake the dream is there and

01:25:36   then it all completely gone with no

01:25:39   residue

01:25:39   Oh like just comes to dust and when I

01:25:42   won't accept it except there's no like

01:25:45   there's no death to it's not like a

01:25:47   turns to subdue like crumble bone

01:25:49   it just goes like not for you and what

01:25:55   that does me learning somebody's first

01:25:56   name terrible dot discipline yes i want

01:26:01   to stress you out though you don't sound

01:26:03   stressed by it I I always remembered my

01:26:05   dreams I loved my dreams I tried to do

01:26:07   lucid dreaming I got to two shots at it

01:26:10   I gotta drive lucid dream to x wonderful

01:26:14   wonderful nights I wish I could you know

01:26:16   i wish i could go back and live there

01:26:18   all the time remembered my dreams

01:26:21   thought about him

01:26:22   cherish them reveled in them I had a

01:26:25   nightmare since the eighties probably

01:26:27   Wow at some point in the last 10 years

01:26:31   they just I just don't bring them into

01:26:36   the into my waking life and there's I

01:26:39   and I and I feel a sense of loss but

01:26:42   also i know that my dream life is still

01:26:45   ongoing and still very pleasant and so I

01:26:49   have to just I guess surrender

01:26:53   well that's that's that's kind of weird

01:26:54   and said that maybe it's like dave

01:26:56   eggers that's not for you not for me is

01:26:58   like itunes reviews

01:26:59   yeah these whatever whatever like files

01:27:02   were were thrown around you know there's

01:27:04   like 14 chimpanzees in a in a in a bank

01:27:08   who they're just throwing files in the

01:27:10   air and that's what your dream life is

01:27:13   well I'd love to have that way but every

01:27:18   morning you wake up the vault door

01:27:19   closes and all you see is the lead last

01:27:21   glimpse through the door of the

01:27:22   chimpanzees for files you're like look

01:27:24   at the book and then the doors closed

01:27:26   near like what can I do I don't know the

01:27:27   combination

01:27:28   [Music]

01:27:32   Jojo alright well