Roderick on the Line

Ep. 214: "Tinder for the Google Man"


00:00:00   this episode of Roderick on the line is [TS]

00:00:02   sponsored by America votes with cards [TS]

00:00:04   against humanity cards against humanity [TS]

00:00:06   asks Americans to vote this November [TS]

00:00:09   [Music] [TS]

00:00:15   hello hi John I'm I Merlin how's it [TS]

00:00:19   going [TS]

00:00:19   oh it's going so good oh good morning [TS]

00:00:24   mmm good morning mhm [TS]

00:00:28   oh boy I know what I want whoo-hoo yeah [TS]

00:00:34   yeah yeahs catcher what the human [TS]

00:00:39   condition i was on a plane all night [TS]

00:00:44   now that's not good you know what that [TS]

00:00:45   no I arrived in seattle at 515 am I am [TS]

00:00:54   you are you on a plane five hours ago [TS]

00:00:57   the others [TS]

00:00:58   yeah dancer huh and then I woke up with [TS]

00:01:03   a sore throat are you know if I was our [TS]

00:01:07   broadcast partner pal [TS]

00:01:10   dan Benjamin who i'd already be at the [TS]

00:01:13   doctor's office he beat the doctor twice [TS]

00:01:15   by now I would have canceled this [TS]

00:01:17   episode of the show in your ropes [TS]

00:01:19   training because I would have needed [TS]

00:01:21   some medical attention on but I am NOT [TS]

00:01:25   and Benjamin I'm me and I'm here in the [TS]

00:01:28   chair [TS]

00:01:29   oh man he's selling his like you're [TS]

00:01:30   about to blow I'm back [TS]

00:01:33   no I here's the thing i realized that [TS]

00:01:35   your you've been flying in your your [TS]

00:01:36   little bit sick we just see no you also [TS]

00:01:38   sound like you could just blow up right [TS]

00:01:40   now like you could really this could be [TS]

00:01:42   it this could be if you ever need to [TS]

00:01:44   emulate the feeling of this is the last [TS]

00:01:46   straw that that's the voice listen I i [TS]

00:01:51   do not want to miss my chance to blow a [TS]

00:01:54   guarantee you know because more attempts [TS]

00:01:57   on my father's like opportunity comes [TS]

00:01:59   once in a lifetime [TS]

00:02:01   well I'll try to join you in this tone [TS]

00:02:04   alright alright why like why were you [TS]

00:02:07   traveling and going to do this entire [TS]

00:02:10   program with clenched teeth was it for [TS]

00:02:15   business or pleasure it was there is no [TS]

00:02:17   pleasure in flying well hold on i i i [TS]

00:02:24   went up to the nice lady and I said [TS]

00:02:25   listen [TS]

00:02:27   my google arenas now use its you selling [TS]

00:02:31   it Jeanne old black you know inside me [TS]

00:02:36   uh-huh there are a lot of cells [TS]

00:02:39   oh you're like what women but I you know [TS]

00:02:42   I was booked on a flight that left two [TS]

00:02:45   a.m. and got in at 6 55 or something [TS]

00:02:49   like that and i went up to the counter [TS]

00:02:51   is the thing about Alaska Airlines you [TS]

00:02:55   can change your flight right there at [TS]

00:02:56   the kiosk so it's change it to an [TS]

00:03:00   earlier flight but then i was on a [TS]

00:03:01   middle seat in the middle plane was [TS]

00:03:05   gonna be awful was going to be worse [TS]

00:03:07   than bad know how far from anywhere even [TS]

00:03:11   if I could ask my flight from LA I use [TS]

00:03:13   are you saying that that it was a [TS]

00:03:15   one-hour flight that would be somehow [TS]

00:03:17   more tolerable I guess it would I guess [TS]

00:03:20   I 19-hour flight i need to have more [TS]

00:03:23   facts in order to propose some kind of [TS]

00:03:25   preposterous theory about you could [TS]

00:03:26   probably suck it up for two hearts but [TS]

00:03:29   it was a dignity dignity comes into it [TS]

00:03:33   was a three-hour flight but I went up to [TS]

00:03:35   the lady you know you gotta know the [TS]

00:03:36   deal even and 45 minutes before the [TS]

00:03:40   flight takes off they close the flight [TS]

00:03:42   oh yeah thatthat's I don't understand [TS]

00:03:45   that it was actually considering that [TS]

00:03:47   they quote unquote open the flight [TS]

00:03:48   usually about five minutes before that [TS]

00:03:50   well no there's nobody there there's no [TS]

00:03:53   might be signage about what's going to [TS]

00:03:54   happen there at some point later in the [TS]

00:03:56   day [TS]

00:03:56   eventually one Harry person shows up a [TS]

00:03:59   lot of white men run to the counter and [TS]

00:04:00   then they close the flight [TS]

00:04:02   that's right the flight is closed and [TS]

00:04:03   i'm one of those white men and I say [TS]

00:04:05   listen I know you're about to close the [TS]

00:04:07   flight and I really can't be in this [TS]

00:04:08   seat for a variety of reasons I'm very [TS]

00:04:11   special person that I have right here i [TS]

00:04:14   have my service horse will have trained [TS]

00:04:20   to tap his hooves in order to [TS]

00:04:23   communicate how desperately i need this [TS]

00:04:25   chair lol people interact with Winston [TS]

00:04:27   and she told ya my service turkey and [TS]

00:04:31   she took me she just like very very [TS]

00:04:34   cash on the download just put me right [TS]

00:04:36   in an exit row around the island exit [TS]

00:04:40   row that didn't have a person in the [TS]

00:04:41   middle seat it was just it was full [TS]

00:04:43   flight the the woman prior and told me [TS]

00:04:47   there were no seats available [TS]

00:04:49   they closed that flight and that's when [TS]

00:04:52   those exits eats cum online Merle uh-huh [TS]

00:04:55   anyway I was flying from Anchorage [TS]

00:04:58   Alaska my hometown because i went back [TS]

00:05:02   to attend my 30th highschool reunion and [TS]

00:05:08   I don't know if you remember the film [TS]

00:05:09   peggy sue got married [TS]

00:05:11   no yeah probably i think that was one of [TS]

00:05:16   the early Nicolas Cage hells yeah it was [TS]

00:05:18   an eighties film where Kathleen Turner [TS]

00:05:21   went back in time to her [TS]

00:05:24   30 30 years to when she was in high [TS]

00:05:27   school [TS]

00:05:28   yeah that's running about and that came [TS]

00:05:30   out when we are in high school and [TS]

00:05:32   Kathleen Turner was envied ibly thought [TS]

00:05:37   to be an actress who could play who [TS]

00:05:39   could go back and play herself in high [TS]

00:05:40   school she was the Michael J Fox of the [TS]

00:05:44   story but now its new standards this [TS]

00:05:47   let's be honest the standards have [TS]

00:05:48   changed [TS]

00:05:49   it's true it's like you know sometimes [TS]

00:05:51   they measure the the economy how much [TS]

00:05:54   Big Mac costs I think today you can [TS]

00:05:56   judge the health of what it means to be [TS]

00:05:59   an actress in hollywood by how old you [TS]

00:06:01   have to be to play Peter Parker's aren't [TS]

00:06:03   which was originally I think mrs. [TS]

00:06:06   Cunningham and more recently was marisa [TS]

00:06:08   tomei marisa tomei is such a good actor [TS]

00:06:15   has good i really admire her [TS]

00:06:18   I feel like yeah it sounds like it's [TS]

00:06:20   right after topic so so whatever's [TS]

00:06:22   travels in time with nicolas cage and we [TS]

00:06:24   were high scarlett johansson plays the [TS]

00:06:28   beyond unnoticed the sexually [TS]

00:06:32   unappealing matron in a film because [TS]

00:06:35   she's older she's gotta be pushing 30 [TS]

00:06:37   now it's 35 or whatever oh my gosh I [TS]

00:06:40   told that will be the day that I check [TS]

00:06:42   out [TS]

00:06:42   no I don't remember feeling [TS]

00:06:44   uncomfortable about finding her [TS]

00:06:45   attractive in that in that steve buscemi [TS]

00:06:47   movie [TS]

00:06:47   with the other girl because she's a [TS]

00:06:49   teenager solution teenager right she was [TS]

00:06:51   playing a teenager and yeah I made you [TS]

00:06:52   feel uncomfortable my thinking [TS]

00:06:55   uncomfortable i love movies [TS]

00:06:57   how do you feel about songs from the [TS]

00:06:59   fifties sixties and seventies that [TS]

00:07:01   reference uh like younger women [TS]

00:07:06   this is that side this i will hear [TS]

00:07:10   anecdote but that that's a big topic is [TS]

00:07:12   actually keys and something that I think [TS]

00:07:14   about a lot which is the coded language [TS]

00:07:16   of men over time and I was sitting [TS]

00:07:20   around the other day as irritating and [TS]

00:07:22   it occurred to me that you know because [TS]

00:07:24   there's always been code is always been [TS]

00:07:26   coding when you say stuff like you know [TS]

00:07:28   we exist of like you know oh there's [TS]

00:07:31   gonna be girls there and for a long time [TS]

00:07:33   when I was younger I would think the [TS]

00:07:34   1000 i can get a date or like or have a [TS]

00:07:37   chance to try out my social skills that [TS]

00:07:39   was gonna be girls there and then as I [TS]

00:07:40   got a little older I started seeing oh [TS]

00:07:42   yeah that's probably the girls i can [TS]

00:07:43   kiss on women as I got a little earlier [TS]

00:07:46   when they're being seen with the guys [TS]

00:07:47   let's go to this party is gonna be girls [TS]

00:07:48   i'm pretty sure that was code for we're [TS]

00:07:51   gonna have intercourse [TS]

00:07:52   oh wow and now I find myself as a [TS]

00:07:55   moulder and urinating I think to myself [TS]

00:07:56   I wonder how many times that means i can [TS]

00:07:58   force a girl to to do something with me [TS]

00:08:00   you know for certain kinds of codes in [TS]

00:08:02   earlier times what I'm saying [TS]

00:08:05   and as for like a chase around teenage [TS]

00:08:07   girls like you know Chuck Berry ran into [TS]

00:08:09   a little trouble with that I thought he [TS]

00:08:11   ran into trouble to see was hiding in to [TS]

00:08:14   us in toilets yeah yeah that's the thing [TS]

00:08:16   that has I think that Chuck Berry can [TS]

00:08:18   find out you know around the time you [TS]

00:08:21   know the music died like all those guys [TS]

00:08:23   died in a crash and then you know Chuck [TS]

00:08:25   Berry violated the Mann Act and you're [TS]

00:08:26   like and then you know that in that case [TS]

00:08:28   you know was named kathleen quinlan was [TS]

00:08:30   a girl Kathleen Turner you know the [TS]

00:08:32   fighting going back in time is 0 [TS]

00:08:34   all he did was try to transport his [TS]

00:08:36   cousin over the state line for Nikki but [TS]

00:08:38   like who knows he might have had some [TS]

00:08:40   prototypical Russian spy camera in the [TS]

00:08:43   bus station bathroom because that's [TS]

00:08:44   really his thing so i decided i think is [TS]

00:08:46   a dookie man i decided to to yet to to [TS]

00:08:50   figure out what the real story of the of [TS]

00:08:53   the [TS]

00:08:55   whoever the character was that actually [TS]

00:08:57   was hiding inside a port-a-potty because [TS]

00:09:01   they wanted they wanted to watch people [TS]

00:09:04   go to the potty [TS]

00:09:05   yeah and I ced at the the to put a low [TS]

00:09:09   point on it I think he had some partial [TS]

00:09:12   ownership in like an establishment like [TS]

00:09:15   a restaurant right and so at some point [TS]

00:09:18   he caused cameras to be installed where [TS]

00:09:20   he could watch ladies go to the bathroom [TS]

00:09:21   but there was someone who actually was [TS]

00:09:23   in the toilet [TS]

00:09:25   that's right you get thought-form for [TS]

00:09:26   that promise so I i just tried to Google [TS]

00:09:29   hiding in toilet and that's gonna go on [TS]

00:09:33   my permanent record right google has put [TS]

00:09:35   that jumped in cabinets to get put in [TS]

00:09:38   google is Sergey Brin let their nests [TS]

00:09:41   that you're getting you're gonna get ads [TS]

00:09:43   based on was hiding and hiding hiding [TS]

00:09:44   hiding in toilet and so whatever [TS]

00:09:47   whenever I put something in the Google I [TS]

00:09:49   imagine sergey brin sitting at a big [TS]

00:09:50   desk which is in to speak with google [TS]

00:09:53   glass on an entire heads-up display an [TS]

00:09:56   array of things spin out of that he [TS]

00:09:59   clicks eclipse there's like three [TS]

00:10:00   pathways you choose for you at this [TS]

00:10:02   point it's like it's like a job 04 your [TS]

00:10:03   sexuality [TS]

00:10:04   no but this is my this is my imagination [TS]

00:10:07   right Sunday's he's he's got the [TS]

00:10:09   heads-up displays that because this is a [TS]

00:10:11   cinematic imagination are visible to us [TS]

00:10:13   the viewer right out there in in virtual [TS]

00:10:17   space in front of him [TS]

00:10:18   the desk is completely clean of any of [TS]

00:10:20   no comments no pen holder no pictures [TS]

00:10:24   family little 10 clean broad desk he's [TS]

00:10:28   sitting there in a black turtleneck with [TS]

00:10:30   the with the in homage sure and that [TS]

00:10:34   he's wearing Google glass and then a [TS]

00:10:36   secretary walks in and puts a piece of [TS]

00:10:38   paper on his desk already scan it with [TS]

00:10:43   Snowden google glass existed should put [TS]

00:10:45   it facedown his desk piece of paper and [TS]

00:10:47   he picks it up and it says hiding in [TS]

00:10:50   toilet [TS]

00:10:52   because you can be a new wrinkle in the [TS]

00:10:55   sexuality of General Eric he's [TS]

00:10:57   monitoring me in a different way and he [TS]

00:11:00   doesn't want he doesn't want the record [TS]

00:11:03   on his google glass [TS]

00:11:05   oh and he's how that anything any [TS]

00:11:08   information he finds about me it's on [TS]

00:11:09   paper and then he burns it has been [TS]

00:11:12   doing this for a while John that in my [TS]

00:11:13   imagination he has like it'sit's had the [TS]

00:11:15   ability you you've been on his glass [TS]

00:11:18   screen but here's the truth here's the [TS]

00:11:19   wrinkle yeah i went to write hiding in [TS]

00:11:22   toilet and I swear to you accidentally [TS]

00:11:27   finger from ball i wrote hiding internal [TS]

00:11:32   it with Archie Bunker fetish [TS]

00:11:35   that's right which is a little bit of [TS]

00:11:38   coded language it's actually much more [TS]

00:11:42   appropriate whoever it was that did [TS]

00:11:44   hiding the toilet probably pronounced in [TS]

00:11:46   toilet yeah but now Sergei was not a [TS]

00:11:48   native English speaker know gets that on [TS]

00:11:50   a piece of paper possibly hiding [TS]

00:11:52   internal it and he's that's hard to [TS]

00:11:56   parse peak and the thing is you could [TS]

00:11:58   google it probably but he wants no [TS]

00:12:01   record so he's looking at hiding it [TS]

00:12:04   turlet oh and he's making no sense out [TS]

00:12:07   of this i guess you could you could just [TS]

00:12:11   google turlet it suddenly someone [TS]

00:12:14   somewhere down in mountain view here [TS]

00:12:15   boob grace appear micrometer as we [TS]

00:12:21   continue to believe that because he's [TS]

00:12:23   checking everything grace our require [TS]

00:12:31   moment so now there is an article here [TS]

00:12:33   afternoon after googling hiding in [TS]

00:12:35   turlet there's an article here on the [TS]

00:12:39   Huffington Post which is which is never [TS]

00:12:40   wrong [TS]

00:12:41   the port-a-potty paper [TS]

00:12:46   huh-uh from boulder colorado [TS]

00:12:50   port-a-potty paper or paper prompts this [TS]

00:12:54   is that they do some alliteration party [TS]

00:12:57   part of paper prompts for body probe [TS]

00:13:02   police in no problem huh [TS]

00:13:04   but then i click on the article and what [TS]

00:13:09   came up was an inspiring way New Orleans [TS]

00:13:11   youth persevered 11 years post-katrina [TS]

00:13:13   yeah I think surgery is gonna take some [TS]

00:13:17   personal time another piece of paper is [TS]

00:13:19   gently slid onto his desk where met [TS]

00:13:22   download but the page here toilet terror [TS]

00:13:26   as Python bites man's penis while he [TS]

00:13:28   sits on the loop that's something to [TS]

00:13:30   post know this is somewhere else this is [TS]

00:13:33   well here they say Lou so you know it's [TS]

00:13:35   got to be some kind of you know that [TS]

00:13:37   comes from British ship potty talk you [TS]

00:13:40   know that comes from Lou supposedly [TS]

00:13:42   turns out it comes from the toilet in a [TS]

00:13:46   public building in England was often [TS]

00:13:48   room 100 really turns out i don't know [TS]

00:13:53   that's true you can notice that person [TS]

00:13:55   and i think john at this point you [TS]

00:13:56   should probably just stop searching I [TS]

00:13:58   think you've you've given plenty of [TS]

00:13:59   tender to the google man i just clicked [TS]

00:14:03   that's one of my favorite cat stevens [TS]

00:14:04   stops different good interpersonal man [TS]

00:14:07   well I i I'm being bothered by my click [TS]

00:14:13   on toilet errors Python bites minds [TS]

00:14:15   man's penis while he sits on the loop [TS]

00:14:16   before bloody battle ensues that's the [TS]

00:14:19   the rest of the headline huh [TS]

00:14:22   so now that piece of paper is getting [TS]

00:14:24   slit across that desk right this very [TS]

00:14:26   moment and you know he's easy on other [TS]

00:14:28   work to do [TS]

00:14:29   he's up in the google glass moving [TS]

00:14:31   billions of dollars around he's buying [TS]

00:14:34   yachts he's doing stuff am imagining it [TS]

00:14:37   because most of what I know about [TS]

00:14:39   running a large corporation comes from [TS]

00:14:41   watching TV shows in the in the [TS]

00:14:42   seventies I imagine that periodically [TS]

00:14:44   somebody comes into interrupting he's [TS]

00:14:46   frustrated they thrust a giant pile of [TS]

00:14:48   papers and say sign here and here in [TS]

00:14:50   here in here so he's still he's still [TS]

00:14:52   splitting his attention he occasionally [TS]

00:14:53   has to do something [TS]

00:14:54   he has to decide that something needs to [TS]

00:14:56   be purchased hehe maybe order a couple [TS]

00:14:58   Tesla's he signed some merger and [TS]

00:15:00   acquisition documents but the whole time [TS]

00:15:01   he's thinking about the turlet pythons [TS]

00:15:03   the thing is that the number of [TS]

00:15:05   situations in being in my life presently [TS]

00:15:09   where people send me an email where they [TS]

00:15:11   want me to use and some kind of app to [TS]

00:15:14   sign the email and send it back a secure [TS]

00:15:17   app and sign it now or signed with a Z [TS]

00:15:22   signs and I've got some of these [TS]

00:15:27   programs and I sit and try to navigate [TS]

00:15:29   them in and sign my document virtually [TS]

00:15:31   and send it back [TS]

00:15:32   you're always you're often often kind [TS]

00:15:34   enough to include me in the threat for [TS]

00:15:35   this that because i wanted my phone I [TS]

00:15:39   conduct my business on my telephone and [TS]

00:15:42   I frankly don't understand why I would [TS]

00:15:45   need to virtually sign as easy on this [TS]

00:15:47   forum [TS]

00:15:48   yeah it this application is not loading [TS]

00:15:50   properly on my telephone [TS]

00:15:52   yeah what I would i say is can you not [TS]

00:15:54   accept an email authorization of this [TS]

00:15:57   like contract for five dollars it's like [TS]

00:16:00   it's like yeah exactly that's what kills [TS]

00:16:03   me [TS]

00:16:03   it's like you know I'm not bowing [TS]

00:16:05   alright you want me to like come and do [TS]

00:16:07   like a little puppet show for 42 minutes [TS]

00:16:09   yeah and like we're talking about like [TS]

00:16:11   what what you spend on light bulbs in an [TS]

00:16:13   afternoon in this one building we're [TS]

00:16:15   talking about like rounding error levels [TS]

00:16:17   of money here that i won't see for six [TS]

00:16:19   months and yet I have to fill out the [TS]

00:16:20   Boeing for ya like like [TS]

00:16:23   no I don't have a million dollars in [TS]

00:16:24   insurance nobody has a million dollars [TS]

00:16:26   insurance who are you [TS]

00:16:28   I is now spent more time trying to sign [TS]

00:16:31   this form than I did during the during [TS]

00:16:34   the presentation you hired me to give [TS]

00:16:35   like my my show was not this long time [TS]

00:16:39   two hours into trying to sign your [TS]

00:16:41   fucking contract is also it's a [TS]

00:16:43   professional heal those organizations [TS]

00:16:45   and God love the people who are in [TS]

00:16:47   charge of putting those forms on my [TS]

00:16:48   phone but they have a bunch of people [TS]

00:16:50   who just sit around all day doing [TS]

00:16:52   nothing but making those little gears [TS]

00:16:54   turn just a tiny little bit yeah and [TS]

00:16:57   like the thing is I'm over here and I [TS]

00:16:58   got stuff to do it's not important stuff [TS]

00:17:00   you know who I got no soup you got this [TS]

00:17:02   guy over here not me [TS]

00:17:03   and the whole time I'm not an important [TS]

00:17:05   man John I'm like as i like to say John [TS]

00:17:07   I'm not busy I'm time constraint i I'm [TS]

00:17:10   not busy but I built my life for 49 [TS]

00:17:13   years getting to where I can be time [TS]

00:17:14   constraint without being busy when you [TS]

00:17:16   make me to sign something with a Z on my [TS]

00:17:18   phone [TS]

00:17:19   you're making me busy and you're [TS]

00:17:20   attaching an eel to my phone that's [TS]

00:17:22   right we see this all the time [TS]

00:17:24   yes people who there they are getting [TS]

00:17:27   work credit for sending emails [TS]

00:17:31   oh they could get paid to not make that [TS]

00:17:32   your turn buddy and i am sitting here [TS]

00:17:35   not getting work credit for receiving [TS]

00:17:37   their emails so it it costs them nothing [TS]

00:17:41   to send me five emails a day to make [TS]

00:17:43   sure that i'm gonna be there at load in [TS]

00:17:45   time costs them nothing [TS]

00:17:47   it's there it's their job they're being [TS]

00:17:49   rewarded for it but every one of those [TS]

00:17:50   emails I have to use my eyes to look at [TS]

00:17:53   and although you don't have to sign if [TS]

00:17:56   you ignore it still takes a minute to [TS]

00:17:57   decide to the north gate for ignoring [TS]

00:18:00   things [TS]

00:18:00   well then I get 14 more emails just [TS]

00:18:02   checking to make sure that you got my [TS]

00:18:04   email that circle back [TS]

00:18:06   actually I got that as a form i don't [TS]

00:18:08   know if we talk about this but you know [TS]

00:18:10   I i was getting phone calls to to make [TS]

00:18:13   sure I'd seen the email that was making [TS]

00:18:16   sure that I'd seen the text that was [TS]

00:18:19   telling me what time to be a place where [TS]

00:18:22   the thing [TS]

00:18:23   what were the time to be a place had [TS]

00:18:25   been carefully stated in five or six [TS]

00:18:28   emails I'd already received a great [TS]

00:18:29   great part is those people will get to [TS]

00:18:31   retire with those people have a job [TS]

00:18:33   where they get paid the same amount of [TS]

00:18:35   money every month and they get to retire [TS]

00:18:36   their kids get to go to college and [TS]

00:18:38   you're sitting there answering emails [TS]

00:18:39   about did you get my phone call about [TS]

00:18:40   the email about the phone call about the [TS]

00:18:41   gig and loaded [TS]

00:18:42   yeah like San we send me this sign [TS]

00:18:44   contract so i can send you the money I [TS]

00:18:46   owe you [TS]

00:18:47   oh my god for the thing you did already [TS]

00:18:50   that I asked you you know that I said I [TS]

00:18:53   would pay you to do but i can't pay [TS]

00:18:54   I there's an outstanding one right now I [TS]

00:18:57   am owed money by music company in [TS]

00:19:00   England you know for for some work I did [TS]

00:19:03   on an album was at the four tracks john [TS]

00:19:05   this is right circle brixham [TS]

00:19:09   and they and it's like it's like when [TS]

00:19:11   you're become a Microsoft vendor i went [TS]

00:19:14   online and somebody sent me an email and [TS]

00:19:16   they were like just click here and sign [TS]

00:19:18   up as a vendor for mca dot u K or [TS]

00:19:23   whatever and that then we'll be able to [TS]

00:19:27   pay and i went online and i filled out [TS]

00:19:30   the whole fucking form and then I [TS]

00:19:32   clicked on send and it and had asked an [TS]

00:19:38   inscrutable question like it went to [TS]

00:19:41   another page upon which there was a an [TS]

00:19:44   inscrutable question and I tried to [TS]

00:19:47   answer it and it did not accept my [TS]

00:19:50   answer huh and would not accept the form [TS]

00:19:53   and you know I hurt no one but myself [TS]

00:19:56   when I say go fuck yourself you have now [TS]

00:20:01   I've now gone to a third location with [TS]

00:20:04   the hippie ya never do that and I do not [TS]

00:20:06   want to be here anymore [TS]

00:20:08   go fuck yourself that you're the weirdo [TS]

00:20:09   you're the weirdo yeah that's it that is [TS]

00:20:11   inscrutable to them that you would not [TS]

00:20:13   want to take another couple days of your [TS]

00:20:15   life to just go deal with the with the [TS]

00:20:17   content management system again what [TS]

00:20:18   does what it required is that I've been [TS]

00:20:20   emailed the person back who sent me the [TS]

00:20:22   email and and I have to just wipe all [TS]

00:20:25   the work I've done so far because i [TS]

00:20:27   can't get back to that screen have to [TS]

00:20:29   email that person said what is the what [TS]

00:20:31   is this question about what do I have to [TS]

00:20:33   what the question was who was your [TS]

00:20:36   reference I name the person that was [TS]

00:20:42   your reference and i put in the name of [TS]

00:20:45   the person that sent me because [TS]

00:20:46   obviously we don't have access to the [TS]

00:20:47   system that you spent all that time we [TS]

00:20:49   have to go find it was a Johnny yeah [TS]

00:20:51   yeah really well know John emailed me i [TS]

00:20:54   get these emails all the time about [TS]

00:20:55   who's my new contact [TS]

00:20:56   I think I think Joey might be three [TS]

00:20:58   people ago ya ever get those you've got [TS]

00:21:00   you've gotten those height when [TS]

00:21:01   introduced my replacement [TS]

00:21:02   yeah cheers leone speak when you're near [TS]

00:21:06   the airport in your you type do you have [TS]

00:21:08   your flight number [TS]

00:21:09   no here's my name what's your final [TS]

00:21:12   destination today [TS]

00:21:13   here's my final destination all right [TS]

00:21:15   now you have my name and my final [TS]

00:21:17   destination [TS]

00:21:18   tell me that there are more than one [TS]

00:21:20   John Roderick right now that are going [TS]

00:21:22   to seattle tell can't do it service [TS]

00:21:24   security and so then it's like oh well [TS]

00:21:27   which flight are you on [TS]

00:21:29   and here's a list of five flights pick [TS]

00:21:31   the one that you're on [TS]

00:21:32   alright I'm i don't remember which one [TS]

00:21:36   month this one that one and so sorry [TS]

00:21:42   you're here now back out at the front [TS]

00:21:44   back out at the front of the back out of [TS]

00:21:46   the gate push the button [TS]

00:21:48   can I get in please i want it all to die [TS]

00:21:52   Merlin I want everything I want it all [TS]

00:21:54   to die and i wanted to go back to [TS]

00:21:56   triplet remember triplicates yeah surely [TS]

00:22:01   do you remember the goldenrod goldenrod [TS]

00:22:05   i love this whole you know that the [TS]

00:22:06   goldenrod was usually my copy to [TS]

00:22:08   remember to gene did you smell [TS]

00:22:11   mimeograph paper [TS]

00:22:12   we've talked about this of course idea i [TS]

00:22:14   seldom I smelled all the things it i [TS]

00:22:17   passed onto my daughter she's a hot for [TS]

00:22:19   now she smells so she'll enjoy a sharpie [TS]

00:22:21   remember sitting at a gas station when [TS]

00:22:23   there were no things that kept [TS]

00:22:25   chlorofluorocarbons from just pouring [TS]

00:22:28   into the atmosphere on the trip and just [TS]

00:22:30   huffing that gasps Oh gasps yeah the [TS]

00:22:35   leaded gas Maryland then we huffed i [TS]

00:22:39   missed the gas i missed the Midway graph [TS]

00:22:43   paper so it's 1985 Peggy Sue bodell sets [TS]

00:22:48   off to her 25-year high school reunion [TS]

00:22:50   with her daughter Beth oh she's just [TS]

00:22:53   separated from her high school [TS]

00:22:54   sweetheart now husband Charlie and his [TS]

00:22:56   weary of attending the reunion because [TS]

00:22:58   of everyone questioning her about his [TS]

00:22:59   absence as they have been married since [TS]

00:23:02   Peggy became pregnant right after [TS]

00:23:03   graduation I had this very conversation [TS]

00:23:06   just last just just last night with one [TS]

00:23:10   of my highschool classmates [TS]

00:23:11   yes this is directed by francis ford [TS]

00:23:13   coppola we aware that I I was not aware [TS]

00:23:16   of that [TS]

00:23:17   just someone getting divorced just now [TS]

00:23:20   after having been married since high [TS]

00:23:23   school [TS]

00:23:24   that's heavy the entire time that you [TS]

00:23:27   and I've been doing this podcast and [TS]

00:23:30   before that even these two people were [TS]

00:23:33   married all the way back to when I was [TS]

00:23:35   in high school and now they're getting [TS]

00:23:37   into [TS]

00:23:38   yeah I mean it's kind of become the [TS]

00:23:40   default assumption you know it's like I [TS]

00:23:43   I recently reconnected with the power [TS]

00:23:44   from college she I know somebody [TS]

00:23:46   following me and responding at home that [TS]

00:23:48   person has the name of somebody was [TS]

00:23:50   pretty good friends with in college and [TS]

00:23:51   so I did that thing that's really [TS]

00:23:53   awkward right said mom there get your [TS]

00:23:56   final destination [TS]

00:23:57   what if huh what's your fucking i said i [TS]

00:24:00   miss any chance there any chance that [TS]

00:24:02   this is the doesn't such person that I [TS]

00:24:04   knew in college which you know it's a [TS]

00:24:07   fairly unusual name but i thought i'm [TS]

00:24:09   probably gonna sound like a loon because [TS]

00:24:10   who knows and she was like of course [TS]

00:24:11   it's me [TS]

00:24:13   so when is my god you send him is this [TS]

00:24:16   wasn't such did I sent that message and [TS]

00:24:19   then now I when I was exploring what [TS]

00:24:21   she's been up to and it's like she's [TS]

00:24:23   still with the guy that I mostly those [TS]

00:24:27   closer friends with a in college there's [TS]

00:24:31   they're still together and I was like [TS]

00:24:33   wow thats I'm not feels like the [TS]

00:24:35   exception [TS]

00:24:36   yeah you don't can assume you can't go [TS]

00:24:38   like you know house Christine or [TS]

00:24:41   whatever or you know all what about [TS]

00:24:44   James how is he is like I don't know we [TS]

00:24:46   haven't talked since 1992 and all right [TS]

00:24:49   sorry [TS]

00:24:50   yeah I said that to a guy to I was like [TS]

00:24:53   yeah you still see in Tasha rasmussen [TS]

00:24:56   whatever it was like not since 1994 [TS]

00:24:58   looks like oh what's been happening [TS]

00:25:01   since then [TS]

00:25:02   well I had three kids one of them's 22 [TS]

00:25:04   years old shit I haven't talked to you [TS]

00:25:07   in a long time [TS]

00:25:08   yeah I know it's been about 22 years I I [TS]

00:25:12   feel my forms i still feel very close to [TS]

00:25:15   you [TS]

00:25:15   yeah well here's the school together [TS]

00:25:18   this is the Atlas together as part of it [TS]

00:25:19   i really wish you'd tell me more about [TS]

00:25:20   your story but the others part of this [TS]

00:25:22   is that I want to hear I realized by [TS]

00:25:24   going to Google somebody and in so many [TS]

00:25:26   of my friends that there are still out [TS]

00:25:28   there are some of them are still writers [TS]

00:25:29   a lot of them have become developers and [TS]

00:25:32   stuff like that and I'll go I'll look [TS]

00:25:36   somebody up and I'll go wow shit man [TS]

00:25:38   that guy you please put pushing 50 [TS]

00:25:41   dog-eat-dog and i'll be like and then go [TS]

00:25:43   like it sweet [TS]

00:25:44   here because i know they were mostly my [TS]

00:25:45   age in 1986 and the crazy part is [TS]

00:25:48   they're still mostly my age today [TS]

00:25:50   because in my head they will always be [TS]

00:25:52   19 or 20 [TS]

00:25:53   I know this is an obvious thing but when [TS]

00:25:56   you actually are confronted with like [TS]

00:25:57   holy shit you're you're older now than [TS]

00:26:00   you and your dad was when I met you [TS]

00:26:02   which is in agreement that smooth and [TS]

00:26:07   now your fingers still didn't get the [TS]

00:26:10   email you about this to the email how [TS]

00:26:11   they let you know John it's time for the [TS]

00:26:14   32 33 Union yes today is such a high [TS]

00:26:17   school is it you want to the high school [TS]

00:26:19   that wasn't a good high school you went [TS]

00:26:20   to the other always a good i'm perfectly [TS]

00:26:22   fine but you're not the high school got [TS]

00:26:24   ozzy osbourne know where we weren't we [TS]

00:26:26   was always pretty I feel like you've [TS]

00:26:28   always portrayed it as like you were the [TS]

00:26:29   also-ran you mean where's my hit the [TS]

00:26:32   white ribbon I we were highschool number [TS]

00:26:34   two who high school number one uh for [TS]

00:26:39   many many years was the only high school [TS]

00:26:41   and they also have the auditorium that [TS]

00:26:44   seed seated 2,000 people so everyone in [TS]

00:26:48   Anchorage when there was something to do [TS]

00:26:49   when there was an event in in 1960 [TS]

00:26:52   everybody in the city went and SAT in [TS]

00:26:56   the west high auditorium and on the side [TS]

00:26:58   of the westheimer aquarium as a giant [TS]

00:27:01   Bald Eagle shrieking through the sky [TS]

00:27:05   with its talons outstretched to catch a [TS]

00:27:10   giant anchor a giant be fouled anchor [TS]

00:27:14   like in relationship to this screaming [TS]

00:27:18   eagle it is a truly bad ass logo and [TS]

00:27:23   then it was determined that the city was [TS]

00:27:25   growing and it needed a second high [TS]

00:27:27   school also West has colors were black [TS]

00:27:30   and orange very tough see those you do a [TS]

00:27:35   leather jacket your collar we recall [TS]

00:27:37   what year's work [TS]

00:27:38   sure I do holy warriors well let me get [TS]

00:27:42   there okay because when they started [TS]

00:27:44   when they built east high school [TS]

00:27:46   they did not give it a 2000 seat [TS]

00:27:49   auditorium and the mascot was the [TS]

00:27:53   Thunderbird a mythical animal and the [TS]

00:27:59   Thunderbird was represented in sort of [TS]

00:28:01   Native American like general vague [TS]

00:28:08   Native American iconography but a [TS]

00:28:13   Thunderbird is not it's not part of the [TS]

00:28:19   the Eskimo that's more or less that [TS]

00:28:24   feels more like a Southwest I'm look at [TS]

00:28:28   the lower 48 like a Southwest Native [TS]

00:28:30   American kind of thing [TS]

00:28:32   look at the UCC a Thunderbird thing I [TS]

00:28:34   feel like maybe in like in like I in [TS]

00:28:35   Arizona or New Mexico and even like [TS]

00:28:39   Pacific Northwest you know I can also [TS]

00:28:43   see a vancouver top type Thunderbird day [TS]

00:28:45   there's all kinds of what the card [TS]

00:28:46   indigenous know every original peoples [TS]

00:28:48   whatever thats that's a huge thing we're [TS]

00:28:50   in vancouver it was like it was in [TS]

00:28:51   ironically a big part of the culture [TS]

00:28:53   there was like this yeah experience of [TS]

00:28:56   that culture looks good let's call it a [TS]

00:28:58   look let's call it an indigenous myth [TS]

00:29:01   mythology my wife and I went to a fancy [TS]

00:29:03   dinner at a place that was all like it [TS]

00:29:06   was like kind of fancy but like the [TS]

00:29:09   Atlantic ish upscale like a I don't want [TS]

00:29:13   to say something racist but I don't say [TS]

00:29:14   Indian whatever the work term they use [TS]

00:29:16   there is but what's the whatever the the [TS]

00:29:18   tribes of the British Columbia they're [TS]

00:29:20   still very aware that totem poles in the [TS]

00:29:21   park and this whole thing you know where [TS]

00:29:23   the the Haida and the blanket right the [TS]

00:29:27   clicker from a little bit further north [TS]

00:29:30   I'm catco's the Haida are from right [TS]

00:29:32   around there but there are a lot of [TS]

00:29:33   subject sub-tribes right right right [TS]

00:29:36   uh the you know the LED the lips the the [TS]

00:29:42   tribes from right around here [TS]

00:29:43   I mean I i could name 40 of them but [TS]

00:29:46   they're all related to the Haida what [TS]

00:29:48   happened the supra tribe but the Thunder [TS]

00:29:53   what one thing the Thunderbird is not is [TS]

00:29:55   either an Eskimo [TS]

00:29:58   like icon nor is it really like a [TS]

00:30:03   central Alaskan I don't I don't I don't [TS]

00:30:07   think of it as a as an Athabascan image [TS]

00:30:12   and Anchorage is not really part of the [TS]

00:30:15   turf of the of the blanket who you know [TS]

00:30:21   their turf ends down there in the [TS]

00:30:22   wrangles somewhere i don't know i'm [TS]

00:30:24   using a lot of words in the sentence [TS]

00:30:26   word salad but I'm riding the wave and [TS]

00:30:28   so it sounds a little bit like saying [TS]

00:30:30   it's like it might as well as meaningful [TS]

00:30:32   as saying like hey we're the Pirates [TS]

00:30:33   well we never really had Pirates here or [TS]

00:30:35   what oh they're they're adopting some [TS]

00:30:37   kind of a culture [TS]

00:30:39   yeah but even yeah right it's not [TS]

00:30:40   there's no there are no hurricanes on [TS]

00:30:42   the west coast so you shouldn't because [TS]

00:30:44   you shouldn't say like East I hurricanes [TS]

00:30:46   they you know it should be cyclones or [TS]

00:30:49   whatever but yeah this is that this is [TS]

00:30:51   some there aren't totem poles in [TS]

00:30:55   Anchorage let's just put it that way [TS]

00:30:57   there are no totem poles but the East [TS]

00:30:58   High logo looks like it came from a [TS]

00:31:01   totem pole so right away you're feeling [TS]

00:31:04   like um and then to make matters worse [TS]

00:31:08   our colors were red white and powder [TS]

00:31:13   blue and so our letter jackets were the [TS]

00:31:17   the body of them were powder blue sounds [TS]

00:31:19   kinda like maybe like Eastern European [TS]

00:31:22   it well and out and my lady friend went [TS]

00:31:26   to my reunion with me and she said I [TS]

00:31:28   find those very attractive colors and I [TS]

00:31:31   said but but but yes okay but are they [TS]

00:31:34   butch sports color [TS]

00:31:36   she'sshe's millennium she's a millennium [TS]

00:31:38   so she's like I don't even know what [TS]

00:31:40   about butch sports colors but i think [TS]

00:31:42   it's a very attractive jacket in a in it [TS]

00:31:45   in any case so here we are [TS]

00:31:48   against the fighting Eagles west high [TS]

00:31:50   and we're like the the powder blue [TS]

00:31:53   Thunderbirds it was tough and and what [TS]

00:31:57   what drives me crazy is were there no [TS]

00:31:59   other fierce animals in Alaska that [TS]

00:32:01   could have been the mascot of the second [TS]

00:32:04   high school [TS]

00:32:04   yeah how about a bear what about a wolf [TS]

00:32:07   these are there there are these he could [TS]

00:32:11   have even gone with [TS]

00:32:12   you know something that seems to be a [TS]

00:32:13   touchdown for you which is the hearty [TS]

00:32:14   stock of the various people that have [TS]

00:32:17   come there over time so we can really [TS]

00:32:19   get to san francisco 49ers or something [TS]

00:32:21   like that you could go with something [TS]

00:32:22   that's about the people but instead they [TS]

00:32:24   transplanted a Thunderbird sure the [TS]

00:32:26   Anchorage anchors I don't know the West [TS]

00:32:29   i already have the anchor let's say they [TS]

00:32:31   have the eagle and the anchor it's so [TS]

00:32:33   infuriating and if they had a secret [TS]

00:32:35   society i bet it was called the Eagle in [TS]

00:32:37   the anchor here we are [TS]

00:32:39   the Thunderbird and the and the cultural [TS]

00:32:42   co-optation and we could have been so [TS]

00:32:45   the third high school or whatever [TS]

00:32:47   Bartlett I think that Carlos in portland [TS]

00:32:51   maybe diamond was the third could have [TS]

00:32:52   been yeah i think one of those you know [TS]

00:32:54   they're the Bears the diamonds are the [TS]

00:32:57   something else's so here's East I the [TS]

00:33:00   truth we fought we fought a just going [TS]

00:33:04   there was a fight or a scrappy we were [TS]

00:33:08   scrappy upstart so huh [TS]

00:33:10   and so i'm back at the Reunion East I [TS]

00:33:15   Thunderbirds goatee birds who and my [TS]

00:33:19   classmates at least the ones that came [TS]

00:33:21   to the reunion are in fine shape they're [TS]

00:33:25   in find federal there were a lot of [TS]

00:33:28   people there that I said did look the [TS]

00:33:31   same like look the same or better than [TS]

00:33:34   they did in high school and I was [TS]

00:33:36   thinking when I went to the 20-year you [TS]

00:33:38   know everybody had kind of thickened up [TS]

00:33:40   and it seem to bode that by the time you [TS]

00:33:44   get to the 30-year you know we were just [TS]

00:33:45   going to be flesh mounds but people were [TS]

00:33:51   in good shape [TS]

00:33:53   they'll you know they looked sharp they [TS]

00:33:55   had they had sparkle in their eyes a lot [TS]

00:33:58   of them their you know their third kid [TS]

00:34:00   was graduating from high school and [TS]

00:34:01   they're ready to start a new adventure [TS]

00:34:02   in life Kenny [TS]

00:34:05   and I was standing there like in my [TS]

00:34:09   banana republic blazer that i bought a [TS]

00:34:11   Salvation Army for a dollar and thinking [TS]

00:34:15   to myself [TS]

00:34:17   christ almighty what it could look a [TS]

00:34:20   bunch of people from how did this [TS]

00:34:22   how'd they are older than my friend's [TS]

00:34:25   parents were when i was in high school [TS]

00:34:26   but my friend's parents looked like me [TS]

00:34:29   piles with hair you know they were they [TS]

00:34:33   needed to trim the hair on their ears [TS]

00:34:35   and hear my of my highschool classmates [TS]

00:34:38   look like they're the freaking Kennedy's [TS]

00:34:40   so times have changed in the and the [TS]

00:34:45   expectations are up by 5i I went [TS]

00:34:52   immediately to a drugstore but just for [TS]

00:34:54   men mustache die [TS]

00:34:56   nice to see me now look like Tom Selleck [TS]

00:35:00   this November we head to the polls and [TS]

00:35:06   select the 45th President of the United [TS]

00:35:08   States of America but today [TS]

00:35:12   cards against humanity is asking you to [TS]

00:35:15   vote with your dollar for the candidate [TS]

00:35:17   that you support [TS]

00:35:21   the Democratic nominee Hillary Clinton [TS]

00:35:23   is a graduate of Yale Law School who has [TS]

00:35:26   served our country as secretary of state [TS]

00:35:29   senator from New York and First Lady of [TS]

00:35:33   the United States in her decades of [TS]

00:35:36   public service [TS]

00:35:37   she has tirelessly advocated for women's [TS]

00:35:40   rights campaign finance reform and [TS]

00:35:43   access to healthcare [TS]

00:35:46   the Republican candidate Donald Trump [TS]

00:35:50   will make America great again he is a [TS]

00:35:53   powerful CEO who wears three suits at [TS]

00:35:57   once all across america building [TS]

00:36:01   screaming his name Trump Trump he always [TS]

00:36:06   knows what time it is [TS]

00:36:09   Donald Trump is a huge man who lives in [TS]

00:36:14   a golf course at the end of this [TS]

00:36:18   promotion cards against humanity will [TS]

00:36:20   tally up the sales of both packs and [TS]

00:36:23   depending on which pack gets more [TS]

00:36:24   support we will donate all the money in [TS]

00:36:28   support of Hillary Clinton [TS]

00:36:31   exercise your sacred franchise at [TS]

00:36:34   www.bulbamerica.com with cards against [TS]

00:36:39   humanity dot-com [TS]

00:36:43   I love to see you now that's a possible [TS]

00:36:50   he's a good guy could have some guy i'm [TS]

00:36:52   on my way [TS]

00:36:53   uh-huh i'm on my way to you a legend [TS]

00:36:55   when I am you know there's a lot of [TS]

00:36:59   there are a lot of people didn't go to [TS]

00:37:00   the 30th and I got it I got a lot of [TS]

00:37:03   feedback from people online that [TS]

00:37:06   indicated a kind of a kind of sort of [TS]

00:37:10   smug consensus that like why would you [TS]

00:37:13   go to your reunion [TS]

00:37:14   herp derp and I feel like I feel like [TS]

00:37:20   some of that attitude comes from people [TS]

00:37:23   still not realizing that life is short [TS]

00:37:26   and there aren't and it doesn't last [TS]

00:37:28   forever your your reunions are like [TS]

00:37:32   they're just a a pair of demarcation of [TS]

00:37:37   life time progressing and that when i [TS]

00:37:42   walked in the door of the reunion out [TS]

00:37:44   you know I had a natural apprehension [TS]

00:37:47   what's this going to be like the I [TS]

00:37:49   haven't seen these people in years [TS]

00:37:51   do I even have anything in common with [TS]

00:37:53   them they're like moms and dads from [TS]

00:37:54   Anchorage Alaska but then you get there [TS]

00:37:57   and you know all these people you know [TS]

00:37:59   them now for four decades even if you [TS]

00:38:02   haven't seen him you know one like I [TS]

00:38:05   can't remember what I meet somebody at a [TS]

00:38:07   party in there like hi my name's Andy [TS]

00:38:09   their name goes right in one ear and out [TS]

00:38:12   the other I have no recollection of who [TS]

00:38:14   they are one minute later and I turn to [TS]

00:38:16   lean over to their friend of mine and I [TS]

00:38:18   go what's this guy's name again and the [TS]

00:38:21   handy and I said that's my secret shame [TS]

00:38:24   i'm like right handy and then i turn my [TS]

00:38:27   head back and look at Andy and I've [TS]

00:38:29   already forgotten his name but I walk [TS]

00:38:32   into this ski chalet where my 30th [TS]

00:38:35   reunion is and every single person that [TS]

00:38:38   walks up to me I'm like holy shit John [TS]

00:38:40   Lindsay how are you i like oh my god [TS]

00:38:42   it's chilly coochie like I know them [TS]

00:38:44   like a like I nobody chillin sorry [TS]

00:38:48   chilly was we could chill coochie that's [TS]

00:38:51   terrific mean it's like somebody from [TS]

00:38:53   Greece he's amazingly could use amazing [TS]

00:38:55   lives in Denver you [TS]

00:38:56   look about Kelly's a real person tell [TS]

00:38:58   you know I normal and we had a very like [TS]

00:39:04   an excellent high school class and i [TS]

00:39:06   will end at the time I didn't think so [TS]

00:39:07   but like really interesting excellent [TS]

00:39:11   people who are still still thriving [TS]

00:39:13   so I think that I think that those [TS]

00:39:15   things like those little dumb flags your [TS]

00:39:22   highschool reunions the dumb flags [TS]

00:39:25   aren't you don't you too sophisticated [TS]

00:39:26   for that now you've moved San Francisco [TS]

00:39:29   oh no this is this is the irony is that [TS]

00:39:32   i like i like to think that's the case [TS]

00:39:33   but it's really just cuz I'm scared [TS]

00:39:34   well and I think that's true for a lot [TS]

00:39:36   of people who you know the people that [TS]

00:39:38   are like I've I don't go back to my [TS]

00:39:40   hometown I got out of there now I'm [TS]

00:39:42   living now I've got 700 channels of [TS]

00:39:45   television in my town [TS]

00:39:49   I'm not going back to that but yeah you [TS]

00:39:51   go back to that and you it turns out [TS]

00:39:53   that you thought you were a nerd but [TS]

00:39:55   none of your classmates did they all [TS]

00:39:56   thought you were great [TS]

00:39:58   or you remember everybody hating your [TS]

00:40:00   guts but in fact they all really liked [TS]

00:40:02   you and they're all nice now they're all [TS]

00:40:05   nice people and they're not little high [TS]

00:40:07   school jerks and every basis do this is [TS]

00:40:09   what everybody says this is what [TS]

00:40:10   everybody says it makes me feel terrible [TS]

00:40:11   that I don't go to these things I think [TS]

00:40:14   everybody should go right now because [TS]

00:40:16   people are great i mean there's only one [TS]

00:40:19   guy my eyes go reunion that is still [TS]

00:40:22   working out the whole problem of cool [TS]

00:40:27   there's one guy who every time I see him [TS]

00:40:30   online he's very nice to me every time I [TS]

00:40:34   see him in person he lurks over on the [TS]

00:40:37   other side of the room because he's not [TS]

00:40:39   gonna come say hi to me first [TS]

00:40:41   there's a one guy you know a whole room [TS]

00:40:44   of people I went to high school but [TS]

00:40:45   still worried about that kind of that [TS]

00:40:49   level of thing and he's a super [TS]

00:40:52   interesting guy but he's just got this [TS]

00:40:54   he's just still got you can see it in it [TS]

00:40:56   but it's not like you're walking over to [TS]

00:40:57   him first you're gonna wait here [TS]

00:40:59   oh no I mean I I'm talking to people who [TS]

00:41:02   are coming up to me to talk to me but [TS]

00:41:04   I'm looking across the room and I see [TS]

00:41:05   him over there and he's just looking at [TS]

00:41:06   his fingernails [TS]

00:41:08   when i get done talking to the people [TS]

00:41:10   who are brave enough to come over and [TS]

00:41:12   say hello then I do go over and say hey [TS]

00:41:15   man because i want to relieve him of [TS]

00:41:19   this stress but it's very funny to think [TS]

00:41:23   that you wouldn't go to one of these [TS]

00:41:24   things you're like oh jesus you know [TS]

00:41:25   everybody's gonna be high school on me [TS]

00:41:27   but nobody is except for one there's [TS]

00:41:29   always one guy but this reunion is put [TS]

00:41:32   together you in answer to your original [TS]

00:41:34   question that was put together on [TS]

00:41:35   facebook [TS]

00:41:36   yeah there were no emails it all [TS]

00:41:40   happened on Facebook including all of [TS]

00:41:42   the threads where people were saying I [TS]

00:41:45   maybe i can come maybe I can't how much [TS]

00:41:47   is it [TS]

00:41:47   when is it oh my daughter has a dance [TS]

00:41:50   recital that day and it's like in yeah [TS]

00:41:54   this is your 30th reunion like [TS]

00:41:56   reschedule the dance recital [TS]

00:41:59   there's a lot of that kind of facebook [TS]

00:42:01   chatter and I just was always glimpsing [TS]

00:42:05   and then I made my reservations to go to [TS]

00:42:11   the reunion and then I arrived and then [TS]

00:42:14   I was sort of getting on the plane and [TS]

00:42:17   we got a text from one of my friends was [TS]

00:42:19   like all right we'll see you in a couple [TS]

00:42:20   of hours i was like what are you talking [TS]

00:42:22   about the reunion tonight the reasons [TS]

00:42:26   tonight friday night I naturally assumed [TS]

00:42:29   it was saturday night because i never [TS]

00:42:31   read the invite i didn't read the [TS]

00:42:35   facebook description of and so I made [TS]

00:42:39   him hated plane reservation that landed [TS]

00:42:42   in Anchorage one hour after the event [TS]

00:42:45   starts and so I i rented a car I i ran [TS]

00:42:51   through the airport like a disgraced [TS]

00:42:53   football star yep jumpin over suitcases [TS]

00:42:56   jumping over suitcases nothing but [TS]

00:42:57   smiles some little old lady says go [TS]

00:43:00   j-rod who make it into that and make it [TS]

00:43:05   into my rental four-by-four and I Korean [TS]

00:43:10   across the city a city I know intimately [TS]

00:43:13   all the way over to the mountains where [TS]

00:43:17   the brain is being held in a ski chalet [TS]

00:43:19   and you know what I wasn't even [TS]

00:43:21   aight they were just getting started Wow [TS]

00:43:23   and I have the whole reunion with all my [TS]

00:43:28   my pals and then got in the four-by-four [TS]

00:43:33   and raced back to the airport because my [TS]

00:43:36   lady friend was flying in on a later [TS]

00:43:38   flight [TS]

00:43:38   I did all this and one night felt like a [TS]

00:43:42   felt like I I didn't need to have flown [TS]

00:43:46   in a day early because what I could have [TS]

00:43:48   driven back to the airport and flown [TS]

00:43:50   home I could have done that whole thing [TS]

00:43:52   flown in landed gone to the reunion had [TS]

00:43:54   a great time gone back to the airport [TS]

00:43:56   gone home [TS]

00:43:57   nobody would have I mean I could have [TS]

00:43:59   left a pot on the stove [TS]

00:44:01   no I'm saying Marilyn I could do your [TS]

00:44:04   you're the it seems like you getting [TS]

00:44:06   closer and closer with the you know [TS]

00:44:07   sometimes you just need to put that [TS]

00:44:09   fight around like you get you're gettin [TS]

00:44:11   recent history indicates that you're a [TS]

00:44:13   man is happy that you can if you have to [TS]

00:44:14   hop back on a plane and just go straight [TS]

00:44:16   back you just your jet-setting how many [TS]

00:44:18   years of our lives have we thought oh [TS]

00:44:21   boy i got a better get those plane [TS]

00:44:24   tickets it's only six months till I have [TS]

00:44:26   to fly [TS]

00:44:26   oh yeah you know like find out about [TS]

00:44:29   your travel insurance [TS]

00:44:30   yeah going on trips is a big deal [TS]

00:44:32   changing flights as an enormous steel [TS]

00:44:35   you might as well just stay home you [TS]

00:44:38   could get stranded if something goes [TS]

00:44:40   wrong with your flight you may never go [TS]

00:44:41   home again [TS]

00:44:42   yeah and now I'm realizing that [TS]

00:44:43   everything you do with visa via an [TS]

00:44:46   airline cost a hundred bucks let's get [TS]

00:44:49   to now you know what I mean like you've [TS]

00:44:50   got a you've got a wallet with hundreds [TS]

00:44:52   in it and every time you talk to [TS]

00:44:54   somebody should just throw a [TS]

00:44:55   hundred-dollar bill at him but it's only [TS]

00:44:58   a hundred dollars once you understand [TS]

00:45:00   that it's less shocking [TS]

00:45:02   yeah it's easy just this is just how [TS]

00:45:04   this works hey can I do this [TS]

00:45:06   they're like yeah that'll be 101 dollars [TS]

00:45:08   and ninety-five cents and you're like [TS]

00:45:09   yeah I knew it was going to be a hundred [TS]

00:45:11   dollars and so here's I have some [TS]

00:45:15   hundreds already earmarked for this [TS]

00:45:16   purpose and then you get at the thing is [TS]

00:45:20   that hundred dollars allows you to be on [TS]

00:45:22   an airplane in one hour rather than [TS]

00:45:26   get a hotel room and wait until tomorrow [TS]

00:45:28   get a 250 our hotel room and wait until [TS]

00:45:31   you're originally scheduled flight or [TS]

00:45:34   whatever you know like that hundred [TS]

00:45:36   dollars is just the thing that is [TS]

00:45:38   required and you can leave whenever you [TS]

00:45:41   can leave you can I mean I was in LA in [TS]

00:45:43   LA couple weeks ago and I said I'm [TS]

00:45:45   leaving La right now what this did not [TS]

00:45:48   work out this trip didn't work out i'm [TS]

00:45:49   leaving and I was like 100 dollars and I [TS]

00:45:53   was on an airplane in an hour so it has [TS]

00:45:58   really stripped away the feeling that [TS]

00:46:00   getting on an airplane is a big deal or [TS]

00:46:01   that all that stuff all that like we got [TS]

00:46:06   a plan we gotta prepare what are we [TS]

00:46:08   gonna do when we get there [TS]

00:46:09   like what are you gonna do you're gonna [TS]

00:46:10   peel off another hundred dollars and [TS]

00:46:12   throw it at somebody and then it's just [TS]

00:46:16   like you play it's just like you planned [TS]

00:46:17   it becomes becomes a kind of thought [TS]

00:46:18   technology where you at so you're really [TS]

00:46:20   realigning your whole idea of how this [TS]

00:46:22   is gonna work [TS]

00:46:23   Yeah Yeah right because it because if [TS]

00:46:25   the trip originally if you had budgeted [TS]

00:46:27   $1,000 for a trip let's say uh I mean [TS]

00:46:32   that's ten one hundred dollars is uh huh [TS]

00:46:36   and if the flight if you buy the flight [TS]

00:46:38   today for a flight tomorrow and it costs [TS]

00:46:41   whatever even $500 you still have 500 to [TS]

00:46:45   throw and you still you're still within [TS]

00:46:49   your budget so it was I mean I flew up [TS]

00:46:54   to Anchorage on friday and i left Sunday [TS]

00:46:56   night and that is a that's ludicrous to [TS]

00:47:02   fly to Alaska for the weekend except [TS]

00:47:05   it's not cause $300 to you know i bought [TS]

00:47:07   my tickets with miles and will rule look [TS]

00:47:10   at you mr medallion i know c and then [TS]

00:47:13   high and then i read in the car I was [TS]

00:47:16   200 bucks who I throw a hundred dollars [TS]

00:47:18   and somebody for something i don't [TS]

00:47:19   remember what don't need to know [TS]

00:47:21   justjust know they're gonna go I don't [TS]

00:47:22   even care it's like how many how many [TS]

00:47:24   dinners have I bought for Jason Finn it [TS]

00:47:28   costs a hundred dollars least sales be [TS]

00:47:30   going to a place Jason orders some [TS]

00:47:33   Negroni you get some appetizers [TS]

00:47:36   maybe a little blanched spinach it for [TS]

00:47:39   the table then the thing comes as ninety [TS]

00:47:41   seven dollars really fuck knows a lot [TS]

00:47:43   more money than I thought it was gonna [TS]

00:47:44   be [TS]

00:47:45   how many Negro needs to g-get but he's [TS]

00:47:47   already under the table like I guess [TS]

00:47:51   this one's on me and that's that's [TS]

00:47:54   that's the amount it is it's basically [TS]

00:47:56   the same amount that it cost to get [TS]

00:47:58   Jason fit under the table with a plate [TS]

00:47:59   of blanched spinach is the cost of being [TS]

00:48:01   able to fly at the drop of a hat you [TS]

00:48:04   don't get rich in life by spending money [TS]

00:48:05   isn't it the other way around [TS]

00:48:10   huh you do get rich in life baseman oh [TS]

00:48:12   this is the thing when everything goes [TS]

00:48:14   well isn't it funny how rich people are [TS]

00:48:16   the cheapest people in your like well [TS]

00:48:18   that's spoken like a poor person [TS]

00:48:20   oh no I'm saying sort of oh yeah Jason [TS]

00:48:24   he's got more money than Sinatra and [TS]

00:48:25   euro fine isn't growing and he's under [TS]

00:48:27   the table if I see snake [TS]

00:48:28   I see what you're saying uh yeah he [TS]

00:48:31   Pat's he pats at his and his fleece that [TS]

00:48:33   he's always wearing like that that [TS]

00:48:36   mixture that have a while but even [TS]

00:48:39   better Jason friend ID hi Jason and he [TS]

00:48:41   still listens [TS]

00:48:42   I'm sure he does he listens on his runs [TS]

00:48:44   so a lot of the podcast him just sounds [TS]

00:48:46   like trucks honking whoo oh I remember [TS]

00:48:50   what the hundred dollars I throughout [TS]

00:48:51   somebody was I got back to the car [TS]

00:48:53   rental place and they were like oh [TS]

00:48:54   you're two hours late dropping the car [TS]

00:48:56   off its an extra day and it costs a [TS]

00:48:58   hundred dollars and I was like seriously [TS]

00:49:00   a hundred dollars for for being two [TS]

00:49:02   hours late [TS]

00:49:03   uh-huh and they're like this right here [TS]

00:49:05   the contracts and it's like I don't read [TS]

00:49:07   your stinking contracts and I stood [TS]

00:49:10   there and I was like okay I can get all [TS]

00:49:11   heated up about this are you mad [TS]

00:49:14   he's dealing to just peel pull off a [TS]

00:49:15   couple the cenotes and walk away [TS]

00:49:17   yeah I was like I i used to demand [TS]

00:49:19   satisfaction in a situation like this [TS]

00:49:21   sure did but now the satisfaction comes [TS]

00:49:24   from from flipping another hundred [TS]

00:49:26   through the window of her and being like [TS]

00:49:29   this problem is gone it cost one hundred [TS]

00:49:31   dollars and i'm not talking about a [TS]

00:49:33   hundred value they're going to be people [TS]

00:49:35   listening to this podcast they're like [TS]

00:49:36   well it's nice if you can afford 305 [TS]

00:49:39   John Roderick that's right but the [TS]

00:49:40   problem is that everybody's budgeting to [TS]

00:49:45   do things and they're the end and these [TS]

00:49:47   hundred-dollar bills they're spending [TS]

00:49:49   them to their [TS]

00:49:50   just in different categories they don't [TS]

00:49:52   see it as peel-off honored throw it [TS]

00:49:54   throw it out of thing the problem is [TS]

00:49:55   solved [TS]

00:49:56   they're like well then there's a hundred [TS]

00:49:58   dollars budget for this and for that and [TS]

00:50:00   for this and for that it's like if you [TS]

00:50:02   buy this ticket six months ahead of time [TS]

00:50:04   they're not any cheaper it doesn't give [TS]

00:50:06   you any relief from anxiety to have all [TS]

00:50:09   that stuff in a folder sitting on the [TS]

00:50:13   sitting on your desk this is my trip six [TS]

00:50:15   months from now and I've got it all [TS]

00:50:16   squared away at least for me it doesn't [TS]

00:50:19   it's cheaper to just to just spend a [TS]

00:50:23   hundred dollars in in terms of like [TS]

00:50:25   right let me through this [TS]

00:50:26   let me make it through this little [TS]

00:50:28   portal let me through your spider web [TS]

00:50:30   huh tsa PreCheck [TS]

00:50:33   yeah just get er done get er done get er [TS]

00:50:38   done [TS]

00:50:38   ya like that how we went to Disneyland [TS]

00:50:43   as i mentioned off-air we went to [TS]

00:50:46   Disneyland a few weeks ago for the first [TS]

00:50:47   time and I I felt something similar [TS]

00:50:49   where I had I had basically said that in [TS]

00:50:52   order to have this trip and for me to [TS]

00:50:54   not be stressful this is actually [TS]

00:50:55   something I've learned from our friend [TS]

00:50:56   John siracusa which is like be a [TS]

00:50:58   rational person all the time and here's [TS]

00:50:59   your rationality when it's time to go on [TS]

00:51:02   vacation [TS]

00:51:02   be prepared and plan for everything to [TS]

00:51:05   cost way more than you expected like [TS]

00:51:08   build that into the budget don't take [TS]

00:51:10   the trip until you know you can spend [TS]

00:51:12   way more than you think you should [TS]

00:51:13   because even if you don't just buy a [TS]

00:51:15   bunch of shit [TS]

00:51:16   still you're still gonna have the [TS]

00:51:17   hundred-dollar problem everywhere you go [TS]

00:51:19   as in your parlance and we had a [TS]

00:51:21   wonderful trip partly because i just got [TS]

00:51:23   you sleep well that meal costs a hundred [TS]

00:51:24   dollars shit like she just had macaroni [TS]

00:51:26   again and somehow we spend a hundred [TS]

00:51:28   dollars i'm not sure how that happened [TS]

00:51:29   yet because it was 18 $18 macaroni [TS]

00:51:31   because it had two bacon bits on [TS]

00:51:33   oh yeah well I'm and i think i think [TS]

00:51:36   part of it for me is that I'm just [TS]

00:51:39   budgeting my money toward living this [TS]

00:51:41   life rather than budgeting money toward [TS]

00:51:45   living a different life [TS]

00:51:46   well you need to get one of those jobs [TS]

00:51:47   we circle back with people about how the [TS]

00:51:49   forms are going I can't stop I can't say [TS]

00:51:51   but I can't stop thinking about that [TS]

00:51:53   look at your job you make money in your [TS]

00:51:56   job god bless you god bless you you make [TS]

00:51:59   money in your job when I'm not doing [TS]

00:52:01   mine [TS]

00:52:02   yeah yeah it's just it's vexing me I [TS]

00:52:05   don't take you off your peggy sue or [TS]

00:52:07   your body cam but my goodness that [TS]

00:52:09   frustrates me when you see them all the [TS]

00:52:11   time you see him walking around with [TS]

00:52:12   their jobs now making money doing [TS]

00:52:15   nothing and its really changed a lot of [TS]

00:52:18   what I do because you know this could be [TS]

00:52:21   a personality fall where I just don't [TS]

00:52:23   have I don't have the patience to in the [TS]

00:52:27   worst-case have a series of phone calls [TS]

00:52:30   with different people for six months [TS]

00:52:32   about whether something will happen [TS]

00:52:34   oh and then you go through what I [TS]

00:52:36   learned was eventually called the [TS]

00:52:37   engagement process which is where we [TS]

00:52:39   figure out if the thing we definitely [TS]

00:52:41   took six months decided we definitely [TS]

00:52:42   want to do with you whether that money [TS]

00:52:44   exists and who could potentially pay for [TS]

00:52:46   it [TS]

00:52:46   yeah we spent that entire amount of [TS]

00:52:48   money months ago on the amount of time [TS]

00:52:50   you guys were in meetings about whether [TS]

00:52:51   you wanted to do this [TS]

00:52:52   that's when you're when you're a loser [TS]

00:52:53   like us he's never gonna retire that's [TS]

00:52:55   the way you think but they're on a [TS]

00:52:57   different level you know when when i [TS]

00:52:59   when i did this this little television [TS]

00:53:01   talk show thing that I ever tell you [TS]

00:53:03   about the the i was i arrived for [TS]

00:53:07   wardrobe [TS]

00:53:09   oh yeah you took much in Turner yeah [TS]

00:53:12   they were fitting me having a wardrobe [TS]

00:53:14   and somebody came out and they were i [TS]

00:53:16   was interacting with about five people [TS]

00:53:18   at this point the producer the writer [TS]

00:53:20   the producer's assistant [TS]

00:53:23   uh-huh the representative from the [TS]

00:53:25   agency the representative from the other [TS]

00:53:27   agency and some nothing much for ya [TS]

00:53:31   someone came out and said well they're [TS]

00:53:33   all having a meeting right here right [TS]

00:53:35   next to where we are and they really [TS]

00:53:38   liked to me there and I think that in a [TS]

00:53:42   minute [TS]

00:53:42   they're going to be ready for you uh-huh [TS]

00:53:44   and I had other stuff to do the wardrobe [TS]

00:53:47   person was putting shoes on me and I was [TS]

00:53:50   like all right and when they're ready to [TS]

00:53:53   talk to me i guess i'm here already and [TS]

00:53:55   i'm not being paid for this day right [TS]

00:53:57   there was they think this is pro bono [TS]

00:53:59   out of your like hell parts in the city [TS]

00:54:01   work [TS]

00:54:02   yeah and but they contracted me for two [TS]

00:54:04   days worth of work [TS]

00:54:05   and then they said but there's going to [TS]

00:54:06   be a fitting day i'm alright alright [TS]

00:54:10   hitting day they're not paying me for [TS]

00:54:11   the fitting that's just you know that's [TS]

00:54:15   presumed so there's some money in it but [TS]

00:54:17   it's very circumscribed like was making [TS]

00:54:20   money for for day 2 and a 3 but there's [TS]

00:54:22   no okay [TS]

00:54:23   icic day one this is the fitting day and [TS]

00:54:25   i'm not getting paid for this and that [TS]

00:54:27   was fine i was like sure I'll go fitting [TS]

00:54:28   day but then they're like okay we're [TS]

00:54:31   there [TS]

00:54:32   they're about ready to meet you and the [TS]

00:54:34   person that said that walked away went [TS]

00:54:35   through a door somebody else came out [TS]

00:54:38   hi nice to meet you I'm the person [TS]

00:54:40   that's doing this they're gonna be there [TS]

00:54:43   they are about ready to meet you and [TS]

00:54:46   then that person walked away I went [TS]

00:54:47   through a different door I got shoes put [TS]

00:54:50   on me and that I put on me and I was [TS]

00:54:51   like I'm having a fine time somebody [TS]

00:54:53   came and asked me if i wanted to rap and [TS]

00:54:56   i said i have a wrap [TS]

00:54:58   oh well you know rap checkout sure it's [TS]

00:55:00   like it's like a breeder sandwich [TS]

00:55:01   sure give me a chicken wrap this [TS]

00:55:02   wonderful thank you and then they [TS]

00:55:04   realized that there was just a tray of [TS]

00:55:05   wraps in the kitchen that hadn't been [TS]

00:55:07   eaten by by the day I was like I'll take [TS]

00:55:10   one of your old raps so maybe even [TS]

00:55:13   sitting there with new shoes on even an [TS]

00:55:15   old rap and finally somebody comes out [TS]

00:55:17   and says um it's gonna be a minute [TS]

00:55:20   they're not sure if they you know [TS]

00:55:22   they're not sure if they're ready to see [TS]

00:55:24   you yet [TS]

00:55:25   so what I'm sorry I'm already losing the [TS]

00:55:27   thread here who are they and why do they [TS]

00:55:29   need to talk to you [TS]

00:55:30   I had no idea either but it's but the [TS]

00:55:32   implication is or what you inferred is [TS]

00:55:34   that these are some kind of big [TS]

00:55:36   stakeholders in whoever's behind the [TS]

00:55:38   scenes behind the scenes and it's gonna [TS]

00:55:40   be like kind of a meet-and-greet and [TS]

00:55:41   maybe a little bit of like here's the [TS]

00:55:43   here's the reason for the season [TS]

00:55:44   yeah exactly alright my assumption you [TS]

00:55:48   know all these situations is look I'm [TS]

00:55:50   the talent I'm the one they want to meet [TS]

00:55:52   I don't care who they are they could be [TS]

00:55:55   President the goddamn world it can be [TS]

00:55:57   sergey brin sitting on a magic carpet [TS]

00:55:58   sitting indian-style on a floating magic [TS]

00:56:00   carpet [TS]

00:56:01   he's gonna want to meet me because I'm [TS]

00:56:03   the talent sure [TS]

00:56:04   criss-cross applesauce preeminent so I'm [TS]

00:56:06   out there and I'm like hey I'm not [TS]

00:56:08   getting paid for today already [TS]

00:56:09   whoever's timeline we're working on is [TS]

00:56:11   fine with me part of my brand is that I [TS]

00:56:14   don't give a fuck i got a used wrap here [TS]

00:56:18   apparently shoes and i'm already [TS]

00:56:19   negotiating with the costume lady that [TS]

00:56:21   I'm going to get to keep these shoes at [TS]

00:56:23   the end of the shoot you can get your [TS]

00:56:25   decision [TS]

00:56:25   well so I leaned in and I go what I [TS]

00:56:27   gotta do to keep these shoes huh [TS]

00:56:29   she's like well i got this budget i got [TS]

00:56:31   this in that i did about 10 [TS]

00:56:33   I don't know about that's gonna be tough [TS]

00:56:34   and I'm like him but I'm gonna keep [TS]

00:56:39   these shoes right she's like well I can [TS]

00:56:41   talk to the guy can't do this happened [TS]

00:56:43   and then there are you doing a little [TS]

00:56:46   bit of a Jedi mind trick on her [TS]

00:56:47   well see the thing is I know that's not [TS]

00:56:49   her decision I don't want to put her in [TS]

00:56:50   a in an awkward position [TS]

00:56:53   I'm just sowing the seeds so the first [TS]

00:56:55   person I've talked to already thinks [TS]

00:56:57   that I'm going to keep the shoes [TS]

00:56:59   eventually what happens is the person I [TS]

00:57:03   figure out who the person in charge of [TS]

00:57:05   that process is later on in the [TS]

00:57:09   production a day and a half later and [TS]

00:57:12   I'm like I love these shoes how about me [TS]

00:57:13   keep these shoes and that person by that [TS]

00:57:16   point in time is so focused on keeping [TS]

00:57:18   me happy mood because they've been [TS]

00:57:20   bringing me waters the whole time even [TS]

00:57:21   though [TS]

00:57:22   hello there pay grade they're doing it [TS]

00:57:24   because I'm the talent developed a [TS]

00:57:25   relationship they got some skin in the [TS]

00:57:27   game and then that person makes the [TS]

00:57:29   decision like this what you want the [TS]

00:57:30   shoes all ya done and the and the [TS]

00:57:35   Wardrobe lady standing there and the [TS]

00:57:37   production people are all standing [TS]

00:57:39   around and they heard the person say it [TS]

00:57:40   and then I just walk out issues I don't [TS]

00:57:42   there's no storm to sign at that point [TS]

00:57:44   who was the person already the the [TS]

00:57:47   person who's bringing me the water so [TS]

00:57:48   said so anyway so I'm sitting in this [TS]

00:57:50   room and finally someone comes out and [TS]

00:57:52   says they're ready to see you like I'm [TS]

00:57:57   ready to see them and it was ostensibly [TS]

00:58:00   that i was going to come in and show [TS]

00:58:02   them the costume and they were going to [TS]

00:58:04   decide that the suit was right huh [TS]

00:58:07   right so all right I'm realizing like oh [TS]

00:58:10   this is a this is a situation where they [TS]

00:58:13   want to meet me and they want to be [TS]

00:58:14   entertained by me but but they justified [TS]

00:58:17   it as that i'm walking in there like a [TS]

00:58:19   like a monkey talent from mannequin to [TS]

00:58:23   show them my clothes [TS]

00:58:26   well that seems like a status move a [TS]

00:58:28   little bit deputy 50 people and so I [TS]

00:58:31   walk in and you will not believe it a [TS]

00:58:34   u-shaped table there's 20 people so for [TS]

00:58:38   goodness sake when the people i walk in [TS]

00:58:42   i am I like am taken aback [TS]

00:58:45   holy shit this is a big meeting room and [TS]

00:58:48   there's 20 people in here there's [TS]

00:58:50   there's the row of stakeholders in the [TS]

00:58:53   chairs around the you and then there's a [TS]

00:58:55   then there's the back row of chairs of [TS]

00:58:58   their assistance or somebody I don't [TS]

00:58:59   know people with people that are [TS]

00:59:00   actually holding pieces of paper that's [TS]

00:59:02   what all those people do well there's [TS]

00:59:04   the agency personnel sure you get there [TS]

00:59:06   is a person from the other agency yes [TS]

00:59:09   there's the person from move the client [TS]

00:59:12   there's client-side person there's the [TS]

00:59:14   other there's a person from the other [TS]

00:59:16   client there's the people that were [TS]

00:59:20   contracted there's the boss there's the [TS]

00:59:25   boss lady who's above the boss sure [TS]

00:59:28   right there anything else in charge and [TS]

00:59:31   the thing is everybody in this room is [TS]

00:59:33   in charge right all the people that [TS]

00:59:34   aren't charger outside the room running [TS]

00:59:37   around telling me when things are going [TS]

00:59:38   to happen and so you know of course I [TS]

00:59:41   walk in and I go hey hey it's dave [TS]

00:59:45   Roderick area you want to see my costume [TS]

00:59:48   let me turn around us do these pants [TS]

00:59:50   look good on my house and everybody is [TS]

00:59:52   immediately disarmed and charm because [TS]

00:59:54   the talent is fun and then i say i'm [TS]

00:59:58   keeping the shoes [TS]

00:59:58   keeping the shoes [TS]

01:00:00   and every single one of the 20 people [TS]

01:00:04   they go around the table and everybody's [TS]

01:00:06   got something to say [TS]

01:00:07   mm there's a person from California that [TS]

01:00:09   has very very casual hair you know [TS]

01:00:12   somebody that used to work at geffen [TS]

01:00:14   who's not wearing socks and then there's [TS]

01:00:18   the person that this very you know like [TS]

01:00:21   high and tight haircut who came from New [TS]

01:00:23   York every single one of those has this [TS]

01:00:26   as some kind of say in the decision and [TS]

01:00:29   as I'm standing there in front of them [TS]

01:00:31   doing this little dance not getting paid [TS]

01:00:34   for today because it's fitting day I [TS]

01:00:38   look around the room like me the the top [TS]

01:00:41   person in this room is probably making [TS]

01:00:43   seven hundred thousand dollars here [TS]

01:00:44   yeah the bottom person in this room is [TS]

01:00:47   making 220,000 dollars a year and i'm [TS]

01:00:51   not getting seven hundred fifty dollars [TS]

01:00:52   for today because it's fitting well okay [TS]

01:00:56   and like here's the thing from from me [TS]

01:00:59   being a karma suck you know being the [TS]

01:01:01   holden caulfield of the operation if [TS]

01:01:03   somebody said to me hey what if we paid [TS]

01:01:05   you whatever your dingaling rate is to [TS]

01:01:07   come and be fitted with clothes for a [TS]

01:01:10   day and then be inspected by a crew of [TS]

01:01:13   people at our leisure and to give you [TS]

01:01:15   notes if somebody gave me that as the [TS]

01:01:18   entire proposition i would say fuck no [TS]

01:01:20   let alone will you then go do a talk [TS]

01:01:25   show on the back of a truck [TS]

01:01:27   I'm just here to say like when you look [TS]

01:01:28   at it from that point of view no you [TS]

01:01:30   couldn't pay me to do that that's [TS]

01:01:31   ridiculous [TS]

01:01:32   mm so but all this is just a little bit [TS]

01:01:35   of a little bit of extra sky like saying [TS]

01:01:37   like hey we're gonna pay you to come [TS]

01:01:40   over repeated to come to our house and [TS]

01:01:42   watch the price is right [TS]

01:01:44   oh but also there's a day where you are [TS]

01:01:46   paint the exterior of our house but we [TS]

01:01:49   figured you know I figured you know [TS]

01:01:50   that's pretty standard in the industry [TS]

01:01:51   but wasn't sure about that exterior [TS]

01:01:54   house painting stuff [TS]

01:01:56   well and that's that's why in those [TS]

01:01:58   situations I'm like I i feel i feel no [TS]

01:02:00   shame about taking these shoes [TS]

01:02:04   not at all I feel no shame about [TS]

01:02:09   about asserting the fact that even [TS]

01:02:13   though everybody in this room has a 401k [TS]

01:02:14   everyone in this room is going to retire [TS]

01:02:16   one day [TS]

01:02:17   yeah I walk in and say look at my ass [TS]

01:02:20   you dummies are they gonna do replace [TS]

01:02:27   you [TS]

01:02:27   yeah exactly i'm the talent you're like [TS]

01:02:29   Greg Brady you fit the shoes [TS]

01:02:30   yeah how do you like me like that may [TS]

01:02:32   like me now what if i pulled his pants [TS]

01:02:34   up really high is that funny that you [TS]

01:02:35   really interesting point here is my ass [TS]

01:02:37   my cloud you any questions i make you [TS]

01:02:39   laugh a little more ass [TS]

01:02:41   I'm keeping these fucking shoes and they [TS]

01:02:43   can't do anything all weekend warriors [TS]

01:02:45   left one of the what are they gonna do [TS]

01:02:46   stay tone it down [TS]

01:02:47   fuck you look at my ass again because i [TS]

01:02:50   went to high school with these same [TS]

01:02:51   people she just be sure did [TS]

01:02:53   yeah you're gonna sue that's right I'm [TS]

01:02:55   the piggy soon this story i'm scared to [TS]

01:03:00   go back to my reunion because i just got [TS]

01:03:02   divorced my husband 35 years [TS]

01:03:04   yeah it's my 25th reunion Greg and I [TS]

01:03:06   don't really talk much anymore [TS]

01:03:09   oh it's complicated I told he cried i [TS]

01:03:15   went to a Denny's the couple years ago [TS]

01:03:17   and the server came over and he was what [TS]

01:03:20   he was wearing up a and is recognized [TS]

01:03:22   that the server was about my age and I [TS]

01:03:25   looked at his name tag and it said [TS]

01:03:27   dennys employees since 1986 I was like [TS]

01:03:32   that's the year I graduated from high [TS]

01:03:33   school [TS]

01:03:34   oh shit that's the year he graduated [TS]

01:03:36   from high school [TS]

01:03:38   absolutely and i ordered a pancake who [TS]

01:03:42   and I had a real moment [TS]

01:03:45   uh-huh of feeling like all but all that [TS]

01:03:51   time that I felt like I was just [TS]

01:03:54   throwing time down a down a turlet sure [TS]

01:03:58   well there's another there's an [TS]

01:03:59   alternate universe black mirror version [TS]

01:04:02   of this where what if we lived in a [TS]

01:04:04   world where each of us had to wear a [TS]

01:04:06   nametag about the thing we mostly done [TS]

01:04:09   since high school [TS]

01:04:11   in that case is pretty simple it might [TS]

01:04:13   actually seemed pretty honorable yeah I [TS]

01:04:15   have worked at this location since then [TS]

01:04:18   yeah somehow managing to fuck it up [TS]

01:04:19   since 1986 and what would your nametag [TS]

01:04:22   say that [TS]

01:04:22   that's pretty much it might be it might [TS]

01:04:24   be a GF yeah i mean will be something [TS]

01:04:28   along the lines of you know snatching [TS]

01:04:30   defeat from the jaws of victory since [TS]

01:04:32   1980 Maddox not working up to his [TS]

01:04:35   potential since 1986 yeah 3/5 that's [TS]

01:04:38   interesting so you you were young for [TS]

01:04:40   your grade I was old for mine and we [TS]

01:04:42   graduated your part that's interesting [TS]

01:04:44   question 8585 I always thought if I was [TS]

01:04:47   a good year all those terrible year we [TS]

01:04:48   were bribing the bottom of the barrel [TS]

01:04:50   for every part of my generation also our [TS]

01:04:52   school colors were green and yellow and [TS]

01:04:54   not a nice green or a nice yellow I [TS]

01:04:57   always thought green and yellow was like [TS]

01:04:59   if a high school had green yellow [TS]

01:05:02   it was by that point in time all the [TS]

01:05:05   other color schemes had been taken by [TS]

01:05:07   better high schools and somebody was [TS]

01:05:09   just looking at a pallet wheel now it's [TS]

01:05:12   like they found it's like from [TS]

01:05:12   lost-and-found hoop it's green and [TS]

01:05:14   yellow and it was like a kind of like a [TS]

01:05:16   sickly yellow looks like you got some [TS]

01:05:17   kind of like a like a liver problem [TS]

01:05:19   yellow yeah I think that's what this one [TS]

01:05:22   before but one tenth grade they made [TS]

01:05:24   painters hats for school spirit and sold [TS]

01:05:26   them and they misspelled the name of the [TS]

01:05:28   mascots on the back so you know 670 [TS]

01:05:33   people had six sure had had painters has [TS]

01:05:35   said that boosting years on it [TS]

01:05:37   a1c boutonnieres [TS]

01:05:42   hey where the marker tears at the booth [TS]

01:05:45   and here's hit its but at least where [TS]

01:05:48   you were going to school there were [TS]

01:05:51   historical boutonnieres [TS]

01:05:54   no I think they just call it that [TS]

01:05:55   because of the the football team I don't [TS]

01:05:57   know that's you know what that's a [TS]

01:05:58   really good point is the football team [TS]

01:05:59   from tamp nah i think came around in [TS]

01:06:03   this state seventies to Bruce appearance [TS]

01:06:06   attempt to boost in years and I think my [TS]

01:06:08   high school predated that so i don't [TS]

01:06:10   know if they did a pivot to become busan [TS]

01:06:12   years they might they might have been [TS]

01:06:14   the you know the new jersey retirees [TS]

01:06:16   until then I'm not sure something more [TS]

01:06:17   appropriate for the setting in anchorage [TS]

01:06:20   in the seventies I was a little league [TS]

01:06:22   baseball team that was called the Padres [TS]

01:06:25   the other the pot LOL i'm for service [TS]

01:06:29   I thought that was the star wars [TS]

01:06:30   reference yeah yeah okay likelike the [TS]

01:06:32   San Diego's san diego padres and which [TS]

01:06:35   in san diego [TS]

01:06:36   makes sense because your father [TS]

01:06:37   admissions and stuff that's right [TS]

01:06:38   there's some historical Padre [TS]

01:06:40   yeah but there are no Padres and [TS]

01:06:42   anything we haven't fucking busan years [TS]

01:06:45   in new port richey at felt I felt very [TS]

01:06:48   much like i was very confused because we [TS]

01:06:51   also kept the colors of the Padres which [TS]

01:06:54   was that shameful southwestern all and [TS]

01:06:57   brown goo & you not good in the Astros I [TS]

01:07:02   think seventies throwback Houston Astros [TS]

01:07:03   colors would look really cool you just [TS]

01:07:05   could have been the Astros that would've [TS]

01:07:07   been cool well but there's no like the [TS]

01:07:11   houston astros where the Astros because [TS]

01:07:13   Astro is short for astro not as a space [TS]

01:07:16   and Houston is space town USA but the [TS]

01:07:20   Anchorage team should have been either [TS]

01:07:24   the east high oil profit ears or the [TS]

01:07:30   East I genocide assists last nice you [TS]

01:07:33   know the East time I I do you can get [TS]

01:07:36   one of those names like you know [TS]

01:07:36   Stanford's team is the Cardinal they [TS]

01:07:38   have one of those cool like plural names [TS]

01:07:40   you could have been the East High [TS]

01:07:42   awkward silence you start sounds that [TS]

01:07:45   sounds like dr. google it [TS]

01:07:47   the east by assimilation uh huh the East [TS]

01:07:51   I a chevy short beds em shorts because [TS]

01:07:56   it was the early eighties sure and what [TS]

01:07:58   you wanna know what we would've been the [TS]

01:08:00   chevy stepside the stepside the stepside [TS]

01:08:02   sounds a little fancy you had top hats [TS]

01:08:04   right the step sides that sounds like a [TS]

01:08:06   game for the Warriors a little bit [TS]

01:08:08   Yeah Yeah right the step size they were [TS]

01:08:10   baseball shirts and top hats and their [TS]

01:08:12   weapon of choice is the feathered [TS]

01:08:14   outside come out and discuss the [TS]

01:08:16   property lines general special treasures [TS]

01:08:19   your feather duster and then they put it [TS]

01:08:22   right in your face [TS]

01:08:22   they're like how am I going on in your [TS]

01:08:25   life she kicked in the balls [TS]

01:08:29   that's got kind of asynchronous gang [TS]

01:08:35   warfare [TS]

01:08:35   yeah yeah that's right why I was [TS]

01:08:38   thinking about this the other day what [TS]

01:08:39   happened to the stepside pickup stepside [TS]

01:08:42   pickup [TS]

01:08:42   mmm those big ones gotta step [TS]

01:08:45   well you know it's like the one where [TS]

01:08:47   the wheel wells in the back stick out [TS]

01:08:51   because the bed itself is made smaller [TS]

01:08:56   right like a like Google stepside pickup [TS]

01:08:58   huh you're gonna see that is the classic [TS]

01:09:01   pickup look well because the thing about [TS]

01:09:04   clearance is you can strain by axles the [TS]

01:09:07   only way to get your axle is it said [TS]

01:09:08   that that's the guns and roses story [TS]

01:09:10   that that's good that you're done you're [TS]

01:09:18   done that got heal [TS]