Roderick on the Line

Ep. 205: "Space Clarinets"


00:00:00   hello hi John [TS]

00:00:08   I'm Merlin how's it going good i really [TS]

00:00:11   like your new avatar your skype avatar [TS]

00:00:14   thank you dr. head or whatever dr. [TS]

00:00:17   Scarface and shiny thing where I change [TS]

00:00:21   things periodically oh whoa you just [TS]

00:00:23   recently change your passwords can say [TS]

00:00:27   uh oh my i'm always change my passwords [TS]

00:00:30   when you have a new password do you make [TS]

00:00:34   it so that it's something that you can [TS]

00:00:35   type quickly or is it something that you [TS]

00:00:37   have to kind of spider type like at [TS]

00:00:39   spider typing okay actually asking [TS]

00:00:43   yeah I would never choose a password [TS]

00:00:44   that i can remember i see and i use a [TS]

00:00:47   little computer program that remembers [TS]

00:00:50   my passwords for me [TS]

00:00:52   how do you remember the computer program [TS]

00:00:55   huh who blue penis is the blue penis man [TS]

00:00:59   right [TS]

00:01:00   I mean I mean I mean [TS]

00:01:03   whoa words all the way I mean what oh so [TS]

00:01:07   you just have the password to you have [TS]

00:01:10   the password to the computer machine [TS]

00:01:12   yes and it has the passwords to [TS]

00:01:15   everything i have a password to the [TS]

00:01:16   computer machine and then my password [TS]

00:01:18   program has passed phrase which is a [TS]

00:01:21   long sentence that type that in and then [TS]

00:01:24   that lets me get to individual passwords [TS]

00:01:27   oh I see you have a passphrase a [TS]

00:01:29   passphrase you have a pass phrase which [TS]

00:01:31   is like opposite dolorem upset dolorem [TS]

00:01:35   consecutive MIT this is ronnie was [TS]

00:01:40   Ronnie and it's something that only you [TS]

00:01:45   could know i don't know maybe my want to [TS]

00:01:49   talk about it it's not photos of your [TS]

00:01:52   keys [TS]

00:01:54   it's not what mr. Fidel did everybody [TS]

00:01:58   hear from mr. fail did see that's the [TS]

00:02:01   bigger wouldn't work exactly because [TS]

00:02:03   nobody knows that's that's my passphrase [TS]

00:02:05   he came prodigiously in his shorts but i [TS]

00:02:08   changed all those two zeros because I'm [TS]

00:02:10   leet wow you learned about that in 4chan [TS]

00:02:12   right [TS]

00:02:13   I yeah sure i'm not a new but I'm i [TS]

00:02:18   right am i right [TS]

00:02:19   this is terrific do-si-do radical Ali's [TS]

00:02:25   totally i do inverted Mobius oh is that [TS]

00:02:28   right [TS]

00:02:29   my trick move him inverted Mobius if you [TS]

00:02:31   started inverted Mobius be allowed to [TS]

00:02:33   finish it is just keep turning around [TS]

00:02:34   hand I think you're finished with you [TS]

00:02:37   when you land and pitches no matter [TS]

00:02:41   where you are on the loop i don't know [TS]

00:02:43   exactly why our when this started but [TS]

00:02:45   for some reason uh maybe starting a few [TS]

00:02:48   months ago whenever I see some some kid [TS]

00:02:50   walk around the neighborhood vaping i [TS]

00:02:52   would say first interest in my head I go [TS]

00:02:54   68 bro huh [TS]

00:02:58   and then increasingly i would kind of [TS]

00:02:59   say it under my breath ago six great bro [TS]

00:03:01   break if something happened in the last [TS]

00:03:04   couple weeks and I I don't even realize [TS]

00:03:07   i'm doing it i just go sick bro which [TS]

00:03:11   now I'm making friends well now i'm [TS]

00:03:14   doing it for skateboarding tricks and it [TS]

00:03:15   feels pretty good so we're using sick [TS]

00:03:17   vape bro two people could further [TS]

00:03:20   skateboarder they don't land the trick [TS]

00:03:23   it feels it feels so good and it feels [TS]

00:03:30   so right because there's 200 you know [TS]

00:03:34   you see those people that they look a [TS]

00:03:35   little bit he kept off their tribal or [TS]

00:03:37   merely live in a car and it's it's a [TS]

00:03:39   it's a guy who could be 16 or it could [TS]

00:03:41   be 60 and he keeps riding a skateboard [TS]

00:03:44   and try to jump over the bike rack and [TS]

00:03:46   he keeps making a big noise and falling [TS]

00:03:48   down and doing it over now first of all [TS]

00:03:50   I want to say to this young or old man [TS]

00:03:53   you know hakuna matata I admire your [TS]

00:03:56   persistence for feeling the need to [TS]

00:03:58   write a children's toy over a bike rack [TS]

00:04:00   stick with that letters they're going to [TS]

00:04:03   get a lot of letters [TS]

00:04:05   yeah I know it's hard when i think about [TS]

00:04:07   vapor yeah i think your piping of your [TS]

00:04:09   friend Scott Simpson family he's not [TS]

00:04:11   really a vapor though I'm no see we talk [TS]

00:04:15   about what's the dividing line between [TS]

00:04:16   one who babysat a vapor I think it's one [TS]

00:04:19   thing to have an ethernet wizard [TS]

00:04:20   cigarette and it's quite another thing [TS]

00:04:21   to have that little RTT dildo is ok [TS]

00:04:25   alright I see what you're saying [TS]

00:04:27   when you get you wonder like this is [TS]

00:04:29   probably what futurist from the forties [TS]

00:04:30   thought it would look like if you had [TS]

00:04:32   polio or asthma in 2016 this is what he [TS]

00:04:35   who continues I will take a minuscule [TS]

00:04:39   amount of my space medicine food and [TS]

00:04:43   litter name is Dan tenten tenten isn't a [TS]

00:04:50   yeah it is it a baby christmas Benny [TS]

00:04:53   Goodman signal yeah like a space [TS]

00:04:55   clarinet i don't know why i don't know [TS]

00:04:58   why i think it's quite so funny as i do [TS]

00:05:01   except that it's one of those things [TS]

00:05:03   where you're like an old person you see [TS]

00:05:07   something that perfectly encapsulate the [TS]

00:05:09   silliness of a certain generation [TS]

00:05:10   regardless of whether the individual [TS]

00:05:12   people are or are not rhodes scholars [TS]

00:05:14   and good people [TS]

00:05:15   there's something that just encapsulated [TS]

00:05:16   like what we're gonna laugh about and [TS]

00:05:19   you see this in something like when you [TS]

00:05:21   first see a movie that sends up a trend [TS]

00:05:25   that's 15 to 20 years old so yeah you [TS]

00:05:27   know you show a movie about that's [TS]

00:05:29   essentially what the late eighties and [TS]

00:05:31   there's gotta be some kid with like at [TS]

00:05:32   all fade and it's gonna be some people [TS]

00:05:35   in like neon clothing there's the kinds [TS]

00:05:40   of things that immediately jump out to [TS]

00:05:41   us [TS]

00:05:42   oh my god that's all remember hat we can [TS]

00:05:44   look but there's that thing that jumps [TS]

00:05:46   out at you that it takes 15 years to [TS]

00:05:48   really sink in for most normal people we [TS]

00:05:50   go oh my god that's so weird that we all [TS]

00:05:52   did that and that seemed normal for a [TS]

00:05:54   while [TS]

00:05:55   yeah well think about like at the time [TS]

00:05:57   River Phoenix hair seemed like it was [TS]

00:06:01   like a fat right you'll see it mocked in [TS]

00:06:05   that kind of Arab like long wispy bangs [TS]

00:06:07   across your space [TS]

00:06:09   no kid got it you're talking about that [TS]

00:06:10   did leonardo dicaprio Titanic Arab [TS]

00:06:12   that's right that's right i think of it [TS]

00:06:14   as River Phoenix sure I think he was [TS]

00:06:15   their first I think that the key was the [TS]

00:06:17   John the Baptist's to that no for [TS]

00:06:19   shizzle [TS]

00:06:20   but but whatever Phoenix air turns out [TS]

00:06:24   who is a perennial style where we're [TS]

00:06:27   always going to have river phoenix area [TS]

00:06:28   I think it's kinda cool actually that's [TS]

00:06:30   right ok so if I was out if I was out to [TS]

00:06:32   do and always I would have little track [TS]

00:06:35   I've had it I've had it [TS]

00:06:36   anytime but do you remember there was a [TS]

00:06:38   done you may not because you might have [TS]

00:06:40   been sequestered somewhere in florida [TS]

00:06:42   where army jackets didn't have a [TS]

00:06:45   mustache [TS]

00:06:45   yeah but in the questionable situation [TS]

00:06:48   is one of the primary performance [TS]

00:06:49   characteristics of Florida yeah right [TS]

00:06:52   for precisely i mean because you're all [TS]

00:06:54   preparing for the for the the super wave [TS]

00:06:56   yeah NP the Jesus losing sports losing [TS]

00:07:02   sports the entire state just doing that [TS]

00:07:05   was a great canneries me for making [TS]

00:07:06   anyone without losing sports losing [TS]

00:07:08   sports [TS]

00:07:08   yeah that's actually the brand of my [TS]

00:07:09   underwear oh well but there's one that's [TS]

00:07:14   the silver in it gets over it now that's [TS]

00:07:16   different the silver underwear is [TS]

00:07:17   different that your feet are for [TS]

00:07:19   protecting underwear it it's a it's like [TS]

00:07:22   a Faraday cage [TS]

00:07:23   well thanks it's a Faraday cage for your [TS]

00:07:27   for your business [TS]

00:07:28   it keeps the the the electromagnetic [TS]

00:07:30   pulse out of my junk that's nice i was [TS]

00:07:32   on the eff site day and a half ago and i [TS]

00:07:34   saw i was buying some eff items and I [TS]

00:07:37   saw that they have several are fit [TS]

00:07:39   protecting things you can get you cannot [TS]

00:07:41   get our foot protector for your passport [TS]

00:07:43   you can get one free wallet is the eff [TS]

00:07:47   site the one that listens to the signals [TS]

00:07:48   radio station from the linkages with [TS]

00:07:51   Jeff Tweety know it's the Electronic [TS]

00:07:54   Frontier Foundation and they're trying [TS]

00:07:55   to protect us from things they have a [TS]

00:07:57   seed bank [TS]

00:07:58   all right exactly the seed bank people [TS]

00:08:00   are you know hang on a minute talking [TS]

00:08:02   about like a survivalist thing about [TS]

00:08:04   like rubber see if you don't think of [TS]

00:08:06   the WWF the World Wrestling Federation [TS]

00:08:08   that protects the pandas a lot of people [TS]

00:08:10   their seed bank is just a pile of the [TS]

00:08:13   abuse issue but ok I'm gonna help seed [TS]

00:08:15   bank right here talking about his back [TS]

00:08:18   weeks i know i want to go but I want to [TS]

00:08:21   go back and revisit the idea of it [TS]

00:08:23   alright a whole day thing I want to get [TS]

00:08:25   back I want to get back to this see fit [TS]

00:08:27   thing you're talking about or whatever [TS]

00:08:29   whatever i just missed it all our fish [TS]

00:08:31   are fed but uh but no I remember very [TS]

00:08:34   distinctly in the early nineties when [TS]

00:08:35   the when the first wave of not not like [TS]

00:08:40   raver the first wave of ravers I think [TS]

00:08:43   of as sort of madchester [TS]

00:08:46   manchester ravers right but the second [TS]

00:08:48   wave of waivers if you will where they [TS]

00:08:52   were where they all had pacifiers and [TS]

00:08:55   giant pants and they were wearing shop [TS]

00:08:58   classes and they would they're very [TS]

00:09:00   Burning Man II like they had they had [TS]

00:09:02   goggles on bottom [TS]

00:09:04   yeah and I know I know what you mean it [TS]

00:09:05   wasn't there was a cross over there was [TS]

00:09:07   the because he had I mean not be too [TS]

00:09:09   precious about this but you have like [TS]

00:09:11   house music it was kind of a thing I was [TS]

00:09:13   right presents but then the Madchester [TS]

00:09:14   came along and you had all that bullshit [TS]

00:09:16   like happy mondays which I wish I still [TS]

00:09:18   can't believe anybody like and what [TS]

00:09:20   wasn't letting you know it was our [TS]

00:09:21   program it's a lot of stomping and a lot [TS]

00:09:23   of screaming and and it wasn't very good [TS]

00:09:26   and i could really sing in the music [TS]

00:09:28   wasn't really any particular kind of [TS]

00:09:29   music but it was of its time and so [TS]

00:09:31   people go and they dance around that [TS]

00:09:33   because their english and then and [TS]

00:09:37   favorite [TS]

00:09:38   yes yes yes recently French hmm how [TS]

00:09:42   butBut second wave i was a friend when [TS]

00:09:44   you get into more the the statistic and [TS]

00:09:47   stuff right now we get the waivers I was [TS]

00:09:50   afraid of a that I was kind of like with [TS]

00:09:54   the with the space clarinet [TS]

00:09:56   yeah it seemed like wait a minute is [TS]

00:10:00   this the thing we're all going to laugh [TS]

00:10:02   about [TS]

00:10:03   or is this the have we turn to the page [TS]

00:10:06   is this the new because everybody going [TS]

00:10:09   to be doing this in 15 years and will [TS]

00:10:12   never remember a time like having a foot [TS]

00:10:14   in both those worlds on the one hand you [TS]

00:10:16   go [TS]

00:10:16   clearly it's silly for grown men to wear [TS]

00:10:18   clown pants and have a pacifier on the [TS]

00:10:20   other hand like you know I you know I [TS]

00:10:21   don't reject everything out and just [TS]

00:10:23   don't understand it well exactly right [TS]

00:10:24   and and there are so many things right [TS]

00:10:26   now I was thinking about this the other [TS]

00:10:28   day so many so many things right now [TS]

00:10:30   where you're like is this the is are we [TS]

00:10:33   at the beginning of a thing where this [TS]

00:10:34   is the this is a lasting I'm missing out [TS]

00:10:36   it's like it's like it's like will be [TS]

00:10:38   like in 1969 like I'm not doing snapchat [TS]

00:10:39   I told the snapshot i find it totally [TS]

00:10:41   confusing my the guy who goes like I'm [TS]

00:10:44   not gonna watch the moon landing because [TS]

00:10:46   that's not such a big deal right [TS]

00:10:48   ru ru on the wrong side of history right [TS]

00:10:50   or I mean in particular right now we [TS]

00:10:53   have so many ideas that are fashionable [TS]

00:10:56   so many ideas about what the what the [TS]

00:10:58   futures gonna look like or how I got my [TS]

00:11:02   whole life my whole young life I was [TS]

00:11:04   like dad you don't know anything [TS]

00:11:06   perfect dirt and then as I got older I [TS]

00:11:10   was like all turns out my dad knew some [TS]

00:11:12   stuff you know [TS]

00:11:13   now we're in a cultural moment where [TS]

00:11:15   there's a whole generation of people [TS]

00:11:16   like you don't know anything and maybe [TS]

00:11:19   they're right [TS]

00:11:20   hmm or maybe they work a stranger John [TS]

00:11:23   yeah maybe their culture maybe it's [TS]

00:11:25   maybe some of these ideas are cultural [TS]

00:11:27   called a sec it's really hard to know I [TS]

00:11:29   agree how we're gonna be in 15 years [TS]

00:11:32   would always get the thing is that there [TS]

00:11:33   are certain kinds of things like you [TS]

00:11:35   know in retrospect looking at video of [TS]

00:11:38   civil rights protesters like they had [TS]

00:11:41   everything going for them they had they [TS]

00:11:43   had had a really shitty history as human [TS]

00:11:45   beings terrible things were visited upon [TS]

00:11:47   them and yet they looked cool [TS]

00:11:49   the acting cool they were tough as nails [TS]

00:11:51   and like to see like a well-dressed [TS]

00:11:54   black woman getting hit with a fire hose [TS]

00:11:56   you're like holy shit how could anybody [TS]

00:11:58   not look at that and go [TS]

00:12:00   god I hope that lady wins whatever it is [TS]

00:12:01   that she's winning yes even if it's a [TS]

00:12:03   weird idea even like but even like I was [TS]

00:12:05   watching a watching Muhammad Ali a [TS]

00:12:07   biography the other night like a [TS]

00:12:09   documentary and like you say what you [TS]

00:12:11   will about loose connection of Islam but [TS]

00:12:14   man those guys look sharp [TS]

00:12:16   they look sharp that was a great look [TS]

00:12:17   and so in retrospect that yeah the [TS]

00:12:20   candidate plus pluses and minuses but [TS]

00:12:21   I'm trying to say is you cannot always [TS]

00:12:23   judge the space clarinets and the [TS]

00:12:26   waivers in the burning and burning hair [TS]

00:12:27   that's right you can't always judge it [TS]

00:12:30   by how well they pull off the fashion [TS]

00:12:31   park is there could be an a/c the back [TS]

00:12:33   to the seed bank a seat of a fantastic [TS]

00:12:35   idea buried inside all those clown pants [TS]

00:12:37   this is what I worry about because if I [TS]

00:12:39   if I if I launched myself back into the [TS]

00:12:42   early eighties when i'm watching buck [TS]

00:12:43   rogers in the 21st century there was a [TS]

00:12:46   lot of dancing in that television show [TS]

00:12:48   that revolved around people each [TS]

00:12:51   grabbing one end of a scarf [TS]

00:12:54   sometimes a long ghazi scarf and and [TS]

00:12:57   kind of waltzing around as though around [TS]

00:13:00   the Maypole except there's no pole [TS]

00:13:03   they're just holding the scarf up in the [TS]

00:13:05   air and with things like fancy chamber [TS]

00:13:07   music well [TS]

00:13:08   sort of except play through space [TS]

00:13:09   closest space space space again right so [TS]

00:13:12   it was space music and they were doing [TS]

00:13:14   this dance that seemed kind of like a [TS]

00:13:15   cut like a mating dance but they were [TS]

00:13:18   obviously very sophisticated space [TS]

00:13:19   people of the future and it actually [TS]

00:13:22   kind of connected to the dancing that [TS]

00:13:26   they did in the Bill and Ted's Excellent [TS]

00:13:28   Adventure sort of you know the guitar [TS]

00:13:30   swooping everything in the future as [TS]

00:13:33   seen from the eighties involved some [TS]

00:13:35   kind of hand motion dancing is kinda [TS]

00:13:38   like like what like morris dancing meets [TS]

00:13:40   rhythmic gymnastics who is except very [TS]

00:13:43   slow right it always timed first slowly [TS]

00:13:45   like the buck rogers dancing was very [TS]

00:13:47   slow so was the guitar swooping motion [TS]

00:13:50   of Bill and Ted it was all very you know [TS]

00:13:52   it's not like frenetic dancing and so [TS]

00:13:55   you so you look now and you think ours [TS]

00:13:58   is it [TS]

00:14:00   are we actually closer to the future [TS]

00:14:02   with with the goggles in the the clown [TS]

00:14:05   pants and the vaping then we are because [TS]

00:14:09   you know when I see a picture of Malcolm [TS]

00:14:11   X in nineteen sixty or when i see that [TS]

00:14:13   you know the the people in Selma like [TS]

00:14:16   you're absolutely right there is sitting [TS]

00:14:19   there at the lunch counter like inland [TS]

00:14:21   necktie there's no better fashion in the [TS]

00:14:24   history of times so badass and 1959 to [TS]

00:14:27   1962 and you wonder like it's sort of [TS]

00:14:31   like the cars the cars of 1967 why don't [TS]

00:14:34   we just go back to that we've never let [TS]

00:14:36   you know in this is the crazy is I sound [TS]

00:14:38   like absolutely crazy person but because [TS]

00:14:41   but i think because those passions [TS]

00:14:44   actually predate me i'm not doing the [TS]

00:14:47   weird nostalgia thing of like why what [TS]

00:14:50   hey why don't we just all drive 1987 [TS]

00:14:53   cars which would sound crazy but to say [TS]

00:14:56   1967 cars from before I was born [TS]

00:14:59   that doesn't sound crazy room 18 when [TS]

00:15:01   they just doesn't sound crazy but the [TS]

00:15:02   problem is the people do try to do that [TS]

00:15:04   but when they do it would be like going [TS]

00:15:06   to like the cheap carnival in town where [TS]

00:15:09   they want to draw the caricature of you [TS]

00:15:11   with the giant head kicking a soccer [TS]

00:15:12   ball and that's not really what i look [TS]

00:15:14   like that's what you get for buck feels [TS]

00:15:16   like he's 57 like if you were actually [TS]

00:15:19   seen one of these cards these things you [TS]

00:15:20   need [TS]

00:15:21   you think that people make today looking [TS]

00:15:22   box that arise from amazon it just [TS]

00:15:24   happens to be painted orange yeah yeah I [TS]

00:15:27   one time I was walking across the [TS]

00:15:29   Charles Bridge in in Prague and it's [TS]

00:15:34   covered with people doing those drawings [TS]

00:15:36   except they're not just thinking that [TS]

00:15:38   mug [TS]

00:15:39   no that was a different town so I can [TS]

00:15:42   get all your brief anecdote straight [TS]

00:15:44   it's like there's a lot of a lot is [TS]

00:15:46   going on the bridges in Europe that's it [TS]

00:15:49   that's the main because what happens is [TS]

00:15:50   the people on the one side of the people [TS]

00:15:52   on the other side they meet in the [TS]

00:15:53   middle [TS]

00:15:53   yeah let's sit down on the girlfriends [TS]

00:15:57   are always feel they're doing that [TS]

00:15:58   people have little contraptions where [TS]

00:16:01   there there it's like an organ grinder [TS]

00:16:03   and some little puppet is damn thing I'm [TS]

00:16:06   sure that you'll find somebody with a [TS]

00:16:08   monkey a lot of people are drawing [TS]

00:16:10   there's juggling you know it's a it's [TS]

00:16:13   like it's a thing half the tourists in [TS]

00:16:17   Prague only go across the bridge to go [TS]

00:16:19   back across the bridge got a bridge like [TS]

00:16:21   that right but oh that's right you do [TS]

00:16:23   but there's a lot of there's a lot of [TS]

00:16:26   people that actually have to go across [TS]

00:16:26   this bridge and i'm missing to think of [TS]

00:16:28   it that way because like I never thought [TS]

00:16:30   in quite those terms like what do you [TS]

00:16:32   use for a bridge the primary use the [TS]

00:16:34   bridge for most people is to go from one [TS]

00:16:35   side to the other for a while and then [TS]

00:16:37   probably come back the other people just [TS]

00:16:39   think of the bridge that thing that you [TS]

00:16:40   just go over and come back you go over [TS]

00:16:42   and come back right how many people how [TS]

00:16:44   many people go over the golden gate [TS]

00:16:46   bridge and come back so was yesterday [TS]

00:16:48   was it was so foggy and so windy and [TS]

00:16:50   they're all these people out there [TS]

00:16:51   taking pictures of themselves being held [TS]

00:16:53   i felt that let me know when you think [TS]

00:16:56   about that [TS]

00:16:57   what would you estimate it was forty [TS]

00:16:59   percent of the trafficker sixty percent [TS]

00:17:01   as far as like obviously the foot [TS]

00:17:03   traffic there's not that many people [TS]

00:17:04   that are commuting from sausalito just I [TS]

00:17:09   just gotta just need to get from need to [TS]

00:17:11   get from the presidio up to the Marin [TS]

00:17:13   Headlands for my executive job know a [TS]

00:17:16   lot of people on bikes and you know and [TS]

00:17:18   no matter how many times it's it never [TS]

00:17:20   stopped being funny this is San [TS]

00:17:21   Francisco is the TSA agent of the world [TS]

00:17:23   we keep telling people [TS]

00:17:24   ladies and gentlemen please I know it [TS]

00:17:26   says June on your calendar [TS]

00:17:28   I know it's probably june in Germany [TS]

00:17:30   somewhere please please wear long and [TS]

00:17:33   hoes and [TS]

00:17:33   where some long pants yeah for sure sure [TS]

00:17:36   you're gonna freeze your ass off but it [TS]

00:17:38   was on the Charles Bridge le ok oh why [TS]

00:17:42   stopped one day and this is the comments [TS]

00:17:44   over the lava River Park yeah the blue [TS]

00:17:46   top [TS]

00:17:47   oh yeah okay I know what you mean i'm [TS]

00:17:48   sorry confused for a minute sava mm [TS]

00:17:50   apparently bridge it's just a stone [TS]

00:17:53   bridge is that the one that's the one [TS]

00:17:55   that's exactly right it has statues [TS]

00:17:58   along its wing of all be important [TS]

00:18:01   saints of the Czech people and it's very [TS]

00:18:05   it's one of these bridges where ya tens [TS]

00:18:08   of thousands people go across that [TS]

00:18:09   everyday for absolutely no reason I [TS]

00:18:11   happen to feel like there's a really [TS]

00:18:13   great break bakery on the other side no [TS]

00:18:15   one ever goes to it because just waiting [TS]

00:18:17   it's just waiting there for the normals [TS]

00:18:19   for the people that are like I gotta go [TS]

00:18:21   across the Charles Bridge on my way to [TS]

00:18:22   work and I think probably if you lived [TS]

00:18:24   there you would avoid it at certain [TS]

00:18:26   times of the year but I stop there one [TS]

00:18:28   time having gone across this bridge were [TS]

00:18:30   not a million times but you know [TS]

00:18:31   somewhere short of a million more than [TS]

00:18:34   15 and there's a guy there he's drawing [TS]

00:18:37   people and I'm like you know I'm gonna [TS]

00:18:39   send a drawing home to my mom because is [TS]

00:18:44   that isn't that a nice thing to do like [TS]

00:18:45   i'll put it in the mail [TS]

00:18:47   it's nice it's personal and it's unusual [TS]

00:18:49   yeah and she'll open this package i want [TS]

00:18:51   a shot glass or a tiny spoon [TS]

00:18:53   exactly it's a little thing and and it's [TS]

00:18:55   like oh I got a package and you open it [TS]

00:18:56   up [TS]

00:18:57   it's a hand drawing of my son up from in [TS]

00:19:01   and and it's not going to say anywhere [TS]

00:19:03   on it that it was done on a bridge that [TS]

00:19:05   will be part of the story that i bring [TS]

00:19:07   home so I sit down this guys doing this [TS]

00:19:10   drawing and he's chatting to the other [TS]

00:19:13   drawers around him [TS]

00:19:15   I'm not going to call them artist who [TS]

00:19:17   and I get this thing what and when he's [TS]

00:19:21   done i get this drawing and it is the [TS]

00:19:24   spitting image of my cousin of creating [TS]

00:19:28   like he just did my face just strong [TS]

00:19:32   enough that looked exactly like my [TS]

00:19:35   cousin's TV so much that I thought about [TS]

00:19:38   sending it to Stevie like hey we haven't [TS]

00:19:42   talked in awhile i have this drawing [TS]

00:19:44   done of you [TS]

00:19:44   let's not weekend [TS]

00:19:46   and so I didn't want to send it to my [TS]

00:19:49   mom because I was like this isn't a [TS]

00:19:50   likeness of me but but this guys doing [TS]

00:19:52   this drawing look like send me a picture [TS]

00:19:53   of your cousin [TS]

00:19:55   yeah right let's get a weaker this [TS]

00:19:57   drawing of Stevie not sure what to do [TS]

00:19:59   with it [TS]

00:19:59   happy mondays so I so I carried it with [TS]

00:20:05   me because I'd paid five dollars for it [TS]

00:20:08   or fifteen dollars i didn't want to [TS]

00:20:10   throw it away and we'll let you know [TS]

00:20:11   when the guy was like your drawing I was [TS]

00:20:13   like hmm [TS]

00:20:14   and he said five dollars he was it was [TS]

00:20:16   clear that it was clear to both of us [TS]

00:20:18   that it was shite but he was like five [TS]

00:20:21   dollars and are looking here you go [TS]

00:20:23   I would sort of parted ways without a [TS]

00:20:24   handshake or anything like right thanks [TS]

00:20:27   for your help and I but I carried it [TS]

00:20:30   with me I carried it with me i'm going [TS]

00:20:33   to throw it away but also i'm going to [TS]

00:20:35   send it to anyone and knowing I would [TS]

00:20:37   never display it or use it for anything [TS]

00:20:40   uh I carry it with me until it became up [TS]

00:20:43   like a talismanic of a certain kind of [TS]

00:20:45   thing like here's this shitty drawing [TS]

00:20:47   that I can't get rid of and i eventually [TS]

00:20:49   one day like unburden myself of of [TS]

00:20:52   events and i think i might have even [TS]

00:20:54   thrown in a river [TS]

00:20:55   all units a later river huh [TS]

00:20:58   tell me anyone how at risk i have i have [TS]

00:21:04   to now i'm giving away a lot of stuff [TS]

00:21:07   you don't want to do this people are [TS]

00:21:08   going to be very upset onto this please [TS]

00:21:10   don't do this [TS]

00:21:11   are you are very sincerely worried you [TS]

00:21:14   worried about being our passwords [TS]

00:21:15   no notnot password okay don't talk more [TS]

00:21:20   about morris dancing and one password [TS]

00:21:24   for all my stuff oh my god had it and [TS]

00:21:26   it's the name of my captain whose name [TS]

00:21:28   is cat I said the name of the cat on the [TS]

00:21:32   programs every time to know I what is [TS]

00:21:36   the actual risk of somebody scanning me [TS]

00:21:39   as i walked passed out far with for our [TS]

00:21:42   part of my eyes see that's a good [TS]

00:21:45   question i don't know i don't know a lot [TS]

00:21:49   about our foods I i dint get also [TS]

00:21:53   because i don't know a lot about the way [TS]

00:21:55   that you capture the information from [TS]

00:21:57   our fit i remember a few years back [TS]

00:21:59   really fast [TS]

00:22:00   sending article about walmart and as [TS]

00:22:03   there are so many fascinating but like [TS]

00:22:04   reading basically about how their [TS]

00:22:05   infrastructure works and we know about [TS]

00:22:07   things that there just-in-time delivery [TS]

00:22:08   we know about you know the ability to [TS]

00:22:11   use computers to track the need for [TS]

00:22:13   things and what works well what sells [TS]

00:22:15   well and we know about all the business [TS]

00:22:16   relationships gonna what's there just on [TS]

00:22:18   time delivery it seems to me that if you [TS]

00:22:20   order something you would like it to it [TS]

00:22:22   to arrive a little bit before just on [TS]

00:22:25   time [TS]

00:22:26   well jit just in time and so and so part [TS]

00:22:28   of what part of walmart success comes [TS]

00:22:31   down to their network of massive [TS]

00:22:34   warehouse is located around the u.s. and [TS]

00:22:36   an ability that people like Amazon I'm [TS]

00:22:38   not gonna extremely good at which is to [TS]

00:22:40   anticipate what kind of stuff will be [TS]

00:22:41   needed we're not just based on what [TS]

00:22:43   season it is infinitely walgreens [TS]

00:22:44   putting fucking fans up in an aisle in [TS]

00:22:47   West San Francisco because the [TS]

00:22:49   summertime [TS]

00:22:50   yeah nice yeah all thanks for the extra [TS]

00:22:53   spf50 that would be really handy got [TS]

00:22:55   mufflers haha but the fuck know so that [TS]

00:22:59   I got were being real sweet girl called [TS]

00:23:00   seasonal where we put the Easter shit no [TS]

00:23:03   more than that so anyway the idea that [TS]

00:23:04   was just in time is that they have they [TS]

00:23:07   have the ability to understand a whole [TS]

00:23:09   lot of stuff about their supply chain [TS]

00:23:12   from like what where the weather like [TS]

00:23:15   the basic plastics are mind all the way [TS]

00:23:17   down to like how people will buy stuff [TS]

00:23:19   in the store what goes on an end cap [TS]

00:23:20   which kind of deal together classic [TS]

00:23:22   pickles all that kind of stuff do you [TS]

00:23:24   think do you think the Amazon knows that [TS]

00:23:26   I'm gonna buy new pads for my 75 0 sixes [TS]

00:23:30   like is there somebody there that's like [TS]

00:23:32   whew i can feel the disturbance in the [TS]

00:23:35   force as this has been explained to me [TS]

00:23:36   it's not quite as creepy or magical as [TS]

00:23:39   you would think but there is an element [TS]

00:23:42   and we're going to come back to walmart [TS]

00:23:44   but the idea with amazon is that they [TS]

00:23:45   can anticipate what people in the area [TS]

00:23:48   that they supply are more likely than [TS]

00:23:50   not to order based on stuff so for [TS]

00:23:52   example let's say I mean this is [TS]

00:23:54   probably not scientific but let's say [TS]

00:23:56   that there is something that's getting [TS]

00:23:59   super hot like cards against humanity [TS]

00:24:01   like it's very popular card game has [TS]

00:24:03   been the number one card game on but [TS]

00:24:05   something like that there's a new thing [TS]

00:24:07   that pops up that suddenly goes on a [TS]

00:24:08   national list goes from number 7280 nine [TS]

00:24:12   like within [TS]

00:24:13   few days and therefore about cabbage [TS]

00:24:15   patch dolls could be could be but the [TS]

00:24:17   thing is they notice another pattern [TS]

00:24:18   which is that a bunch of people in the [TS]

00:24:22   city of San Francisco have added that [TS]

00:24:23   item to their wish list or matted that [TS]

00:24:26   item to their cart think about it this [TS]

00:24:28   way just for the sake of argument let's [TS]

00:24:29   say a hundred people in San Francisco [TS]

00:24:31   have added something to their cart the [TS]

00:24:33   gate given ski given a SI ASI n has gone [TS]

00:24:36   into their cart if they were just for [TS]

00:24:38   the just for shits and giggles to have [TS]

00:24:40   10 of those in town at the even though [TS]

00:24:43   they have been ordered yet [TS]

00:24:44   I was you that's entirely reasonable [TS]

00:24:45   because it's a pretty good chance [TS]

00:24:47   somebody's gonna buy those shirts in [TS]

00:24:48   somebody's cards right and so for stuff [TS]

00:24:51   so for stuff they can use a whole bunch [TS]

00:24:54   of different signals to figure out smart [TS]

00:24:56   ways to supply so that and then [TS]

00:24:59   obviously what kind of shit like you [TS]

00:25:00   know cables for iphones for all kinds of [TS]

00:25:03   stuff [TS]

00:25:04   butterflies you know every everybody [TS]

00:25:06   buys on mrs. Myers that's just how it [TS]

00:25:08   works [TS]

00:25:08   mrs. meyer's to spray for making your [TS]

00:25:10   house smell like a watermelon [TS]

00:25:12   no really people buy this I do have a [TS]

00:25:14   button for hit the button tickets [TS]

00:25:16   delivered to my house so your house [TS]

00:25:17   smells like watermelon land grapefruit [TS]

00:25:19   it used to smell like bacon and coffee [TS]

00:25:22   you're sweet to say so so they got [TS]

00:25:25   really good at this at the walmart and [TS]

00:25:26   so on trying to get at length is that [TS]

00:25:28   supposably one part of their ability to [TS]

00:25:32   do this is our food technology so mean [TS]

00:25:34   to me by a dingus you open the box and [TS]

00:25:36   the thing is you open up the box inside [TS]

00:25:38   the box of the dancing and you notice [TS]

00:25:40   this is an RV this there's two creepy [TS]

00:25:42   little things in it is a creepy little [TS]

00:25:44   white strip and creepy little square [TS]

00:25:45   strip [TS]

00:25:46   oh yeah i know those and the story goes [TS]

00:25:48   that those are there i think one of them [TS]

00:25:50   is for loss prevention be stealing and [TS]

00:25:53   the other one is an are fit that is a [TS]

00:25:54   unique identifier for that serial [TS]

00:25:56   numbered object right so that at a given [TS]

00:25:58   time in walmart that stuff gets can to [TS]

00:26:00   put on the Shelf you [TS]

00:26:01   they now have like an instant idea of [TS]

00:26:03   exactly how much stuff is where its it [TS]

00:26:06   was designed to be for supply chain [TS]

00:26:09   buttons but because your credit cards [TS]

00:26:13   got a chip now because your passport has [TS]

00:26:17   an R fit people are I think the concern [TS]

00:26:19   people have is that you're walking by [TS]

00:26:21   somebody's got a scanner going oh IC and [TS]

00:26:23   so if you're entertaining hallmarks they [TS]

00:26:26   could pull [TS]

00:26:27   your data down but it's not like [TS]

00:26:28   somebody's cruising around in a month [TS]

00:26:30   you can be fairly close [TS]

00:26:32   I think that's the thing is it isn't it [TS]

00:26:34   isn't like you can have a drone fly over [TS]

00:26:36   the sea and collect everybody's our [TS]

00:26:37   foods i think it's it's much it's more [TS]

00:26:40   like Bluetooth i'm guessing so this is a [TS]

00:26:41   thing if I were one of those people that [TS]

00:26:44   had some thing in my wallet [TS]

00:26:46   yeah like you go to the gas station [TS]

00:26:48   sometimes they're like hey just touch [TS]

00:26:50   your wallet and we'll take your money [TS]

00:26:52   yeah I'm like does not seem like a thing [TS]

00:26:54   I will ever want to do I don't want to [TS]

00:26:56   touch my wallet to a gas pump out we [TS]

00:26:58   have the dingus when you get the little [TS]

00:27:00   fob and then they take my money but it's [TS]

00:27:02   not a little else [TS]

00:27:03   it's a thing inside it's like your [TS]

00:27:05   credit card has the RR foods or some [TS]

00:27:09   other sometimes a smart champion yeah [TS]

00:27:11   it's like it's like the the old app bump [TS]

00:27:13   for a while people would come up and [TS]

00:27:17   saved a bump he dumped your phones and [TS]

00:27:19   then have a cream for that now [TS]

00:27:21   ok I've got four or five people's [TS]

00:27:24   personal information in my phone that [TS]

00:27:27   still says like arrived at through bump [TS]

00:27:30   but like you had bump some kind of bump [TS]

00:27:33   technology within the card that's in [TS]

00:27:35   your wallet [TS]

00:27:35   yes but anyway so I have that enhanced [TS]

00:27:38   driver's license and I have a past board [TS]

00:27:41   and i have my my TSA supercard yeah and [TS]

00:27:48   for a while I carried them around in a [TS]

00:27:51   little oil sleeve like crazy like a chem [TS]

00:27:53   trails person yeah you know like tinfoil [TS]

00:27:55   hat and then one day I was like what is [TS]

00:27:58   this this is insane like giving some [TS]

00:28:00   from what am i protecting myself [TS]

00:28:01   yes some Russian hacker has figured out [TS]

00:28:03   a way to get my passport information [TS]

00:28:06   from being close to a gas pump [TS]

00:28:09   yeah I say you got here we should [TS]

00:28:11   probably research this with information [TS]

00:28:14   but my gut is that it was that we're [TS]

00:28:17   gonna get a lot of letters you know [TS]

00:28:18   people are going to tell us about [TS]

00:28:20   looking at my contact link it's just [TS]

00:28:22   it's just not bring me joy anymore [TS]

00:28:23   is that right yeah you don't want you [TS]

00:28:25   what you don't want to hear from fans we [TS]

00:28:27   that's exactly what you want because i [TS]

00:28:29   don't hear from ya hands contact me [TS]

00:28:33   other ways and they say hello I'm [TS]

00:28:35   talking about I'm talking about today i [TS]

00:28:37   woke up to a slew of [TS]

00:28:39   I'm doing this thing now right trying to [TS]

00:28:40   look at my phone when i first wake up [TS]

00:28:42   and I and I do other things in my life [TS]

00:28:44   before look at my phone which is very [TS]

00:28:46   difficult to do because when you unplug [TS]

00:28:47   it I can clearly see just out of the [TS]

00:28:49   corner of my eye that's filled with [TS]

00:28:50   notifications and I'm like yeah Louie CK [TS]

00:28:52   says he doesn't masturbate to to stuff [TS]

00:28:55   it images on computers anymore he sits [TS]

00:28:57   around and waits until a sexy idea pops [TS]

00:28:59   into his head [TS]

00:29:00   oh boy he's ready he's a farm-to-table [TS]

00:29:02   master baby sure isn't any sits and he [TS]

00:29:04   thinks about it was like mm-hmm [TS]

00:29:08   I've gotta add you know like this is a [TS]

00:29:10   very sexy idea [TS]

00:29:11   why's it fired instead of like odds 15 [TS]

00:29:15   I'd better call up some some internet [TS]

00:29:17   born yeah they're right that's right [TS]

00:29:19   hey you know he's being self involved in [TS]

00:29:21   a no and i'm in a much more engaged [TS]

00:29:23   intellectual way but he is walking as [TS]

00:29:26   one who now he's super wise so anyway I [TS]

00:29:29   but i think the notion is that when you [TS]

00:29:32   got a bunch of emails though you're [TS]

00:29:33   saying how ya wear the emails offering [TS]

00:29:36   you the opportunity to apply for a [TS]

00:29:39   permit show now and get a lot of emails [TS]

00:29:43   about people wanting to appear on a [TS]

00:29:46   podcast that I do as you know and then I [TS]

00:29:48   get a lot of email from people having to [TS]

00:29:50   they want you to buy a website of mine [TS]

00:29:52   they want to advertise on a website they [TS]

00:29:54   want to write on a website of mine and [TS]

00:29:57   it's just disappearing because i know [TS]

00:29:58   i'm not going to write back to them but [TS]

00:29:59   even the effort that it takes to archive [TS]

00:30:02   / delete the email is exhausting to me [TS]

00:30:05   yeah I don't like beginning my day with [TS]

00:30:06   bullshit right you have to comb through [TS]

00:30:08   all these things [TS]

00:30:09   yeah and I mean the thing is it would be [TS]

00:30:11   like I mean look at Minority Report you [TS]

00:30:14   walk around in the billboards talking [TS]

00:30:16   and stuff like that it would be like [TS]

00:30:17   that except the billboards act but hurt [TS]

00:30:20   if I don't invite into my house to hang [TS]

00:30:22   out let me ask about your program where [TS]

00:30:24   you have guessed yes do you do you have [TS]

00:30:27   guests that once on the Brooklyn not a [TS]

00:30:30   single time [TS]

00:30:31   so when people say when you get multiple [TS]

00:30:33   multiple emails from people saying and I [TS]

00:30:35   love and follow up just just certainly [TS]

00:30:37   back i'd love to be a guest on your [TS]

00:30:39   program let me tell you why would be a [TS]

00:30:41   good fit [TS]

00:30:42   it's a war it's an award-winning program [TS]

00:30:44   yes that's been on the air for a long [TS]

00:30:45   long time [TS]

00:30:46   huge never had a guest never had a guest [TS]

00:30:48   i see yeah there's three parts was least [TS]

00:30:51   three parts to this [TS]

00:30:52   and we parted us elsewhere not talk [TS]

00:30:54   about with you before but you get me you [TS]

00:30:56   know i get it we get a note and it said [TS]

00:30:57   the first thing really let's just get [TS]

00:30:59   this out of the way this is pretty [TS]

00:31:00   embarrassing for me i am a huge fan of [TS]

00:31:05   your podcast about productivity I just [TS]

00:31:08   it's all love your podcast never gets it [TS]

00:31:13   huge huge fan all the great i have to [TS]

00:31:15   tell you number two I think I would be a [TS]

00:31:19   great guest on your show with my new [TS]

00:31:23   book uh you know a hundred and fifteen [TS]

00:31:25   new ways to turbocharge your power hacks [TS]

00:31:27   you won't believe what happens next and [TS]

00:31:29   then third there's been at length [TS]

00:31:32   there's an explanation that almost [TS]

00:31:33   always uses the exact same phraseology [TS]

00:31:35   which is here's why I think I'd be a [TS]

00:31:37   great fit hundred one super axe [TS]

00:31:40   uh-huh in the case of somebody not too [TS]

00:31:42   long ago named the backbone pet pet [TS]

00:31:46   wanted to be on the show you and [TS]

00:31:48   Benjamin and any giving us some links to [TS]

00:31:51   things that he had recently done buried [TS]

00:31:53   in those links i went and I looked at [TS]

00:31:54   the description of an episode of a show [TS]

00:31:56   he was on a good where I do you have [TS]

00:32:00   trouble getting bloggers to respond to [TS]

00:32:02   your emails dog pet [TS]

00:32:04   ah and there's a part of me my eyes can [TS]

00:32:08   roll back in my head for a minute like [TS]

00:32:10   you know like a look at like I touch the [TS]

00:32:12   max amount set out tree i started went [TS]

00:32:13   into this vision quest where I was like [TS]

00:32:15   this guy is fucking awesome [TS]

00:32:17   yeah because he's done it I know I'm [TS]

00:32:19   another time there's a guy who only work [TS]

00:32:20   four hours a week at one time in an [TS]

00:32:21   interview he told somebody about how he [TS]

00:32:25   had engineered contacting me even though [TS]

00:32:27   he kind of knew that I didn't want to [TS]

00:32:28   talk to him he was able to engineer a [TS]

00:32:30   way for us to get in contact and show [TS]

00:32:33   about that he talked about this on [TS]

00:32:34   another show [TS]

00:32:35   oh yeah see this is a whole thing this [TS]

00:32:37   I've been trying to get ahold of merlin [TS]

00:32:38   mann i know a lot of you have you got [TS]

00:32:40   the darknet the dark podcast net which [TS]

00:32:41   is like the podcast about getting some [TS]

00:32:43   podcast recording on you know podcast [TS]

00:32:46   but I mean it's just that draw out the [TS]

00:32:48   humor of what you're describing here and [TS]

00:32:49   this is what makes me tired [TS]

00:32:51   is that like to get to the point where [TS]

00:32:52   somebody has obviously never listen to [TS]

00:32:55   the show and let's just be clear i don't [TS]

00:32:57   give a flying fuck whether you've ever [TS]

00:32:58   heard the show what bugs me is if you [TS]

00:33:01   pretend your whole pretense of this [TS]

00:33:03   bullshit email is that you've heard the [TS]

00:33:04   show [TS]

00:33:05   when in fact if you'd listened to part [TS]

00:33:08   of an episode you would know that we [TS]

00:33:10   have had guest hosts we've had you have [TS]

00:33:12   Jonathan Coulton rob corddry there's [TS]

00:33:14   been a handful of people that have [TS]

00:33:15   students guest house but we've never had [TS]

00:33:17   anybody on the show in five-and-a-half [TS]

00:33:20   years to talk about the book [TS]

00:33:22   no it's never happened know you've never [TS]

00:33:24   had anyone over your house to talk about [TS]

00:33:25   a book you've never talked about a book [TS]

00:33:28   with anybody even on the train to [TS]

00:33:30   terrible but you know it's just it's [TS]

00:33:33   there's a don't know what and I am and [TS]

00:33:35   going into holden caulfield mode right [TS]

00:33:38   here but yeah I mean talk about it was [TS]

00:33:39   that have to wake up to that like a fish [TS]

00:33:41   needs a bicycle [TS]

00:33:42   oh you're telling me that the lesbian [TS]

00:33:45   over here I I had an idea [TS]

00:33:47   this is gonna come back we'll come back [TS]

00:33:48   we still have to get back to River [TS]

00:33:49   Phoenix out walmart our foods and I'm [TS]

00:33:51   still talking about morris dancing I [TS]

00:33:53   want to know more about our foods who [TS]

00:33:55   but i feel you need to do some research [TS]

00:33:57   on that [TS]

00:33:58   well see I'm it i feel like i don't need [TS]

00:34:01   to do some research sounds good until [TS]

00:34:02   you go through because you and other [TS]

00:34:04   people are going to do that research for [TS]

00:34:06   me and then you're gonna send me emails [TS]

00:34:09   that warned me this is so can challenge [TS]

00:34:11   on i gotta i gotta i gotta text this [TS]

00:34:14   morning out of texts i keep thinking of [TS]

00:34:15   tweets as texts now I'm going to think [TS]

00:34:18   of emails letters instead of starting i [TS]

00:34:20   received a letter received a letter [TS]

00:34:22   probably concerned for that wonderful [TS]

00:34:26   thing where they threaten to explain [TS]

00:34:29   threatened to mansplain frisbee golf to [TS]

00:34:33   me and I was like it's so good of you to [TS]

00:34:35   threaten to do that without doing it [TS]

00:34:37   like I appreciate that because what [TS]

00:34:40   they've communicated is I have this [TS]

00:34:41   information I know you don't want it [TS]

00:34:43   yeah but listen it's there for you and [TS]

00:34:47   and that's that's lovely because now i [TS]

00:34:49   don't have to Wikipedia frisbee golf and [TS]

00:34:51   up and i was going to know what it's [TS]

00:34:52   called they probably have a cute name [TS]

00:34:53   for know they have called disc golf of [TS]

00:34:56   course for years of you know it's [TS]

00:34:58   something else so we ever contacted by a [TS]

00:34:59   Shriner this week as a matter of fact [TS]

00:35:02   yes I got a lot of schreiner emails from [TS]

00:35:04   people who had already contacted me [TS]

00:35:06   explaining that the same trailer [TS]

00:35:08   different day explaining that shrine is [TS]

00:35:11   an as an offshoot of or maybe just a [TS]

00:35:13   like a deeply embedded component of of [TS]

00:35:16   Masonic life [TS]

00:35:18   although perhaps in decline or maybe [TS]

00:35:21   ironically in it in a sentence that's [TS]

00:35:25   useful but i but I get this may or may [TS]

00:35:28   not be this and it may or may not be [TS]

00:35:30   growing more night didn't probe who [TS]

00:35:32   didn't read the shriner I didn't probe [TS]

00:35:34   and that also is a component of shrine [TS]

00:35:36   ism don't buy the shriner but i forgot [TS]

00:35:39   to say last week was so as I was a yes I [TS]

00:35:41   was as I was describing out my mom hates [TS]

00:35:43   Hillbillies over there is nothing she [TS]

00:35:45   hates more than Shriners oh no that was [TS]

00:35:47   the second one [TS]

00:35:48   yeah things number one two things with [TS]

00:35:50   your mother and your father just review [TS]

00:35:51   because people don't normally listen to [TS]

00:35:52   this show two things about your parents [TS]

00:35:55   while your parents are the least racist [TS]

00:35:56   people you've ever met probably next to [TS]

00:35:58   Donald Trump i'm guessing your direct do [TS]

00:36:00   it there are two groups that your mother [TS]

00:36:02   with holes nothing in her ire and that [TS]

00:36:05   is number one Hillbillies and then you [TS]

00:36:06   had a second you're telling me now the [TS]

00:36:07   second Shriners yeah we never got back [TS]

00:36:09   to the second one which is Shriners can [TS]

00:36:12   she just has this lifelong and it's [TS]

00:36:14   because she worked as a waitress in ohio [TS]

00:36:16   in the fifties and see she said the [TS]

00:36:18   Shriners would come in and they they [TS]

00:36:21   like they kept cattle prods and they [TS]

00:36:23   would prob the waitresses cattle prods [TS]

00:36:26   now they were set getting drunk in the [TS]

00:36:27   middle of the day and these and you know [TS]

00:36:29   it's a different era of Shriners right [TS]

00:36:31   sure [TS]

00:36:32   temporary a more enlightened age and [TS]

00:36:34   well yeah I mean now they ride Vespa [TS]

00:36:36   scooters or so you know now they have [TS]

00:36:37   porkpie hats then that mirrors on the [TS]

00:36:40   shoes John Mitchell baby my mom made [TS]

00:36:43   that sound like a huge minutes in the 56 [TS]

00:36:45   men with mirrors on the shooters on [TS]

00:36:46   their shields to this day I still I've [TS]

00:36:49   never seen mirrors on a shoe but but i [TS]

00:36:51   do think about it that's why you wear [TS]

00:36:52   clean underwear in case you're in an [TS]

00:36:54   accident or far the finest wine with a [TS]

00:36:56   mirror but she's my Martin great Morris [TS]

00:36:58   on anymore you never see a Shriner but [TS]

00:37:02   when I was a kid there and Shriners and [TS]

00:37:05   my mom was just under her brushed china [TS]

00:37:08   and sheep and i think so i grew up with [TS]

00:37:10   a very strong association with Shriners [TS]

00:37:13   and there was a shrine temple [TS]

00:37:15   uh-huh not four blocks from our house so [TS]

00:37:18   they were Shriners all the time driving [TS]

00:37:20   their little cars like saving kids [TS]

00:37:23   yeah from sickness yeah and and I I when [TS]

00:37:26   I went by the shriner temple both very [TS]

00:37:28   curious about what was happening in [TS]

00:37:30   there [TS]

00:37:30   are no windows in the building but also [TS]

00:37:32   like already filled with suspicion and [TS]

00:37:35   fear of the trainers with their cattle [TS]

00:37:38   prods horrible [TS]

00:37:40   yeah I don't gotta go ahead i know i'm [TS]

00:37:43   paul most definitely remembering this [TS]

00:37:45   wrong because you know sometimes just [TS]

00:37:47   words [TS]

00:37:47   collapse in your head and there's a [TS]

00:37:49   phrase going through my mind which is [TS]

00:37:50   shrine circus or Shriner's circus [TS]

00:37:53   yeah and what I'm remembering probably [TS]

00:37:56   wrong was that the Shriners had a circus [TS]

00:38:00   when I was a kid [TS]

00:38:01   yeah and-and-and I i might be [TS]

00:38:04   concatenated are conflating the idea of [TS]

00:38:08   clowns and Shriners and being scared [TS]

00:38:10   people just feel like there was a circus [TS]

00:38:13   when I was a kid [TS]

00:38:14   yeah and now i'm remembering the name of [TS]

00:38:16   this this temple [TS]

00:38:18   uh-huh they that was very clever [TS]

00:38:20   actually they called it the AL askah [TS]

00:38:23   like done in an Arabic script like al [TS]

00:38:28   madina al al bundy right they have [TS]

00:38:33   changed the name of Alaska into an Arab [TS]

00:38:38   sounding like Al askah oh come on [TS]

00:38:42   right they had they hadn't and they did [TS]

00:38:45   it if they did it in like a script like [TS]

00:38:47   an Orientalist script font where it felt [TS]

00:38:52   like an Arab word Alaska and what is [TS]

00:38:56   that that's like a check Jones cartoon [TS]

00:38:58   yeah it was very like who united that [TS]

00:39:01   table down in Albuquerque how but cookie [TS]

00:39:05   and you imagine that in there there were [TS]

00:39:08   dancing girls with veils yeah because [TS]

00:39:10   but there weren't there were little cars [TS]

00:39:12   and and cattle prods but the idea is [TS]

00:39:14   this there was a kind of all like really [TS]

00:39:18   I just started with all respect to mr. [TS]

00:39:20   syed an Orientalist kind of bent it was [TS]

00:39:24   very like Egyptian but there was [TS]

00:39:26   something kind of like spooky oriental [TS]

00:39:28   about Shriners that seemed [TS]

00:39:29   self-consciously ridiculous [TS]

00:39:31   well professors were sort of autumn [TS]

00:39:34   is there a little bit Turkish yeah yeah [TS]

00:39:36   yeah but then you get the tiny cars [TS]

00:39:38   where you're basically saying look at me [TS]

00:39:39   I'm a dick i'm driving around a tiny car [TS]

00:39:41   well who knows what a tiny car [TS]

00:39:43   communicates anymore people might really [TS]

00:39:44   like i like it i wanted to smoke up i [TS]

00:39:47   want a little the three quarter sized [TS]

00:39:49   the rolls-royce to drive back and forth [TS]

00:39:50   from school the children shiners are [TS]

00:39:52   probably driving smart cars better they [TS]

00:39:54   are little tiny ones those little those [TS]

00:39:56   little BMW ones that look like my boy [TS]

00:40:00   there's a wreck there was a rash of [TS]

00:40:01   smart car flipping a couple years ago in [TS]

00:40:04   severance of people would just turn them [TS]

00:40:06   upside this is not funny san Francisco [TS]

00:40:08   has so many fucking problems [TS]

00:40:09   no but there was a thing where like [TS]

00:40:11   basically overnight like people were [TS]

00:40:12   just walking around and with with like [TS]

00:40:14   you and a few of your buddies you can [TS]

00:40:15   flip the smart car [TS]

00:40:16   why with your hands I kind of don't hate [TS]

00:40:20   that although an apt lawful well there's [TS]

00:40:22   just so much awful stuff in San [TS]

00:40:23   Francisco would be funny if it was [TS]

00:40:25   somewhere else i guess a smart car is an [TS]

00:40:27   audio yeah if that was happening vnb [TS]

00:40:29   Emma only like yes exactly [TS]

00:40:32   yeah I the donors of any spring be any [TS]

00:40:37   spring I don't know when why didn't we [TS]

00:40:39   intervene in the be any spring 1918 [TS]

00:40:41   maicon hi [TS]

00:40:44   I I don't like smart cars but I do [TS]

00:40:47   wonder so here they are smart cars [TS]

00:40:50   things that basically should be given [TS]

00:40:52   away free because it's just a little [TS]

00:40:55   it's like a little transporter for two [TS]

00:40:57   people yeah it's not a thing you should [TS]

00:40:59   buy particularly nothing you should buy [TS]

00:41:00   for twenty-seven thousand dollars [TS]

00:41:02   whatever cost that much [TS]

00:41:04   I think there are a lot of money and [TS]

00:41:06   when I think it is the primary thing the [TS]

00:41:08   size i mean like example like when you [TS]

00:41:10   get a premium for the speed and handling [TS]

00:41:12   is it will was the smart part how it [TS]

00:41:14   handles energy things [TS]

00:41:16   yeah i think it was not just how it [TS]

00:41:18   handles energy but it was a whole it was [TS]

00:41:20   a whole like urbanist revision of the [TS]

00:41:24   city and that's why sometimes you'll see [TS]

00:41:26   smart cars backed into the curb at [TS]

00:41:30   almost like a motorcycle [TS]

00:41:31   yeah by way of communicating that in the [TS]

00:41:33   space of thought in the space that it [TS]

00:41:36   takes to park your car we could put five [TS]

00:41:38   smart cars there by efficient seeing the [TS]

00:41:41   entire operation of a cityscape [TS]

00:41:44   while you the nice thing about a smart [TS]

00:41:46   card that I do look at you girl smart [TS]

00:41:48   car is our neighborhood you know what [TS]

00:41:50   our neighborhoods like and most mr. [TS]

00:41:52   Rogers are small small garages but also [TS]

00:41:54   it's kind of weird i mean i don't think [TS]

00:41:57   these streets were designed i don't know [TS]

00:42:00   maybe they were designed of street [TS]

00:42:01   parking [TS]

00:42:02   but even with the relatively smaller car [TS]

00:42:05   sizes up today there's still so many [TS]

00:42:07   places where you can't quite fit a car [TS]

00:42:10   we're like trying to tie up your horse [TS]

00:42:12   there i guess so yeah but I mean like [TS]

00:42:14   you have these two driveways that are [TS]

00:42:15   just like you know 989 feet of parts in [TS]

00:42:18   78 feet apart where there's no way that [TS]

00:42:21   the jet is gonna fit in there but it's [TS]

00:42:22   more car baby [TS]

00:42:23   no problem that's right when did you [TS]

00:42:25   start saying yeah like Chris wallah how [TS]

00:42:27   to do that [TS]

00:42:27   oh yeah cool [TS]

00:42:31   I I don't like smart cars and in [TS]

00:42:36   particular I don't like them because [TS]

00:42:38   I've been waiting 25 years for people to [TS]

00:42:43   start driving those motorcycles like the [TS]

00:42:45   one in akhirah do you remember the [TS]

00:42:48   motorcycle in acura i'm looking it up [TS]

00:42:50   right now and it was really it was only [TS]

00:42:53   the leaves the aerated the animated [TS]

00:42:55   program [TS]

00:42:55   yeah I was like that's like a light [TS]

00:42:57   cycle you know exactly you you sit back [TS]

00:42:59   in it like your kind of driving a [TS]

00:43:02   chopper almost like a run on that [TS]

00:43:04   motorcycle [TS]

00:43:05   yeah and the motorcycle is hinged in the [TS]

00:43:07   middle somehow like one of those green [TS]

00:43:10   goblin bikes from the 70 this is cool [TS]

00:43:13   and it's like what a cool bike [TS]

00:43:16   all you need to do is just extended the [TS]

00:43:18   canopy a little bit and it would be an [TS]

00:43:19   enclosed you know you could use those [TS]

00:43:22   big fat tires that you see on the back [TS]

00:43:23   of Harley's now would be a little bit [TS]

00:43:26   like the motorcycle from the Batmobile [TS]

00:43:28   but i like what you mean with the big [TS]

00:43:30   that big fat tire [TS]

00:43:31   yeah if we're gonna have if we're gonna [TS]

00:43:33   have a thing like a smart car we drive [TS]

00:43:35   around like perp i'm an engineer I went [TS]

00:43:38   to school in Prague why not have a [TS]

00:43:42   bucking one person light cycle right it [TS]

00:43:46   would you just have a fucking light [TS]

00:43:48   cycle into a but you know what's nice [TS]

00:43:49   about this fat tires it seems to me that [TS]

00:43:51   one of the problems with the motorcycle [TS]

00:43:52   is the surpassingly small amount of [TS]

00:43:55   surface area [TS]

00:43:56   where the vehicle is touching the road [TS]

00:43:57   at a given time I mean not many square [TS]

00:43:59   inches of motorcycle touching the road [TS]

00:44:01   if you get those big Batman tires but [TS]

00:44:03   you also introduced a little bit of a [TS]

00:44:04   Segway gyroscope to it that's exactly [TS]

00:44:07   right you put some you put some segue [TS]

00:44:09   technology we have big fat tires you [TS]

00:44:12   make it you take up let's say [TS]

00:44:13   particularly a Segway where you lay down [TS]

00:44:15   a laying down segue but it's but you [TS]

00:44:18   know those you know those scooters [TS]

00:44:19   they're like commuter scooters that are [TS]

00:44:22   bigger and they have big fat butts and [TS]

00:44:25   people actually write them on the [TS]

00:44:26   freeway but they're sitting up on it [TS]

00:44:27   like a scooter like a jonathan pryce [TS]

00:44:29   Brazil car if you [TS]

00:44:31   well not quite it's a it's it seems like [TS]

00:44:34   a lot of times it's sort of a dykes on [TS]

00:44:37   bikes thing almost but like people ride [TS]

00:44:40   them to work they go 65 miles an hour [TS]

00:44:43   butcher but it's like it's a it's open [TS]

00:44:46   in the middle kind of like a scooter so [TS]

00:44:48   you can wear your I don't know what suit [TS]

00:44:50   or kill terse wilt but uh if you can [TS]

00:44:54   make those why can't you take a [TS]

00:44:57   bat-cycle a lights light cycle and an [TS]

00:45:01   acura cycle who lay back with those for [TS]

00:45:04   a little bit think about them as i have [TS]

00:45:06   done and then use your a your check [TS]

00:45:09   engineering education to actually build [TS]

00:45:12   a cool thing [TS]

00:45:14   cool rad thing that would never tip over [TS]

00:45:17   that would protect you from the elements [TS]

00:45:19   and that probably would be able to use [TS]

00:45:22   segue technology to prevent you from [TS]

00:45:24   ever getting sideswiped by a little lady [TS]

00:45:27   in a Volvo and then this then we'd be in [TS]

00:45:30   the future right [TS]

00:45:32   cars not the furniture it's a col de sac [TS]

00:45:34   nobody wants that nobody wants to ride [TS]

00:45:36   around in a hard chair you want to lay [TS]

00:45:39   back and you're super cool motorcycle [TS]

00:45:41   but the thing is that the Batman and the [TS]

00:45:43   light cycle both have a real aggressive [TS]

00:45:46   forward leaning position don't [TS]

00:45:48   absolutely late like a crotch rocket [TS]

00:45:50   yeah but the akhirah bike you're like [TS]

00:45:52   your cooling out you're like it's like [TS]

00:45:54   you're in an Eames chair [TS]

00:45:56   mmm in fact what if you co branded it [TS]

00:45:58   with a name that's pretty good [TS]

00:46:00   that's more people people love stuff [TS]

00:46:02   like that see it be could be mid-century [TS]

00:46:03   modern except in the future [TS]

00:46:07   mm okay with killing people see very [TS]

00:46:10   easy amounts of free around about design [TS]

00:46:13   just slightly out of reach justify which [TS]

00:46:15   i think is actually what Design Within [TS]

00:46:17   Reach is my goodness without it for me [TS]

00:46:19   places costly it's costly but if you [TS]

00:46:22   took if you took that laminated a [TS]

00:46:24   plywood aesthetic of mid-century modern [TS]

00:46:28   design but you made it into a super [TS]

00:46:32   motorcycle you get a little bubbly would [TS]

00:46:34   car the campus over be like weevil [TS]

00:46:36   because we both crossed with that with a [TS]

00:46:39   light cycle or a with Brazil car [TS]

00:46:41   it can't fall over right you know [TS]

00:46:43   whatever you can fit in your lap you get [TS]

00:46:45   to ride and it becomes self-driving oh [TS]

00:46:46   brother [TS]

00:46:47   because I feel like a lot of the cars [TS]

00:46:49   that we have now are actually designed [TS]

00:46:51   after the car in the Woody Allen movie [TS]

00:46:54   sleeper which even then was a chin see [TS]

00:46:58   car it's like the car it's like the car [TS]

00:47:01   in the tom petty video where they're out [TS]

00:47:04   in the desert and they find a video game [TS]

00:47:06   parlor sure remember that car and both [TS]

00:47:09   of those cars it just seems like they [TS]

00:47:10   built some thing out of like they [TS]

00:47:12   recycled some tin foil and put it over [TS]

00:47:14   books wagon bug you know that's not the [TS]

00:47:17   future that's not the future future is [TS]

00:47:19   mid-century modern motorcycle i'm [TS]

00:47:23   looking at the the Express Isetta oh [TS]

00:47:28   yeah which i think is that is the [TS]

00:47:29   jonathan pryce Brazil car and only this [TS]

00:47:32   it's what really its got like a door in [TS]

00:47:34   the front that opens like where you [TS]

00:47:36   would think we expect is google is he [TS]

00:47:40   showed the Senate is a little BMW from [TS]

00:47:44   it was actually a pain it was actually [TS]

00:47:45   the first smart car kind of it looks [TS]

00:47:47   cool i'm it's not much bigger than like [TS]

00:47:49   a one of the scooters from like [TS]

00:47:51   Quadrophenia well and I think that the [TS]

00:47:53   idea of the of the Isetta was that it [TS]

00:47:55   was a1 a2 cylinder motor it was like a [TS]

00:47:57   motorcycle and its really little bit but [TS]

00:47:59   the thing is not what I'm not getting a [TS]

00:48:00   constant so cool [TS]

00:48:02   I preachers the brazil car you open it [TS]

00:48:04   got a little like you look at the front [TS]

00:48:07   of the car with the windshield with the [TS]

00:48:08   single windshield wiper on it you know [TS]

00:48:10   like where you'd expect like the hood to [TS]

00:48:11   be on a car it's got a latch you open [TS]

00:48:13   that that's how you get in the car [TS]

00:48:15   yeah I was breaking news when you came [TS]

00:48:17   here in the GMC RV and only had one door [TS]

00:48:19   really disoriented me [TS]

00:48:20   some reason because now all you need is [TS]

00:48:23   one door you remember the the Chevy [TS]

00:48:25   Suburbans until nineteen seventy-two had [TS]

00:48:27   three Doors a driver's door passenger [TS]

00:48:31   door and then one door for the second [TS]

00:48:35   row seats that was that seems very smart [TS]

00:48:37   in its way [TS]

00:48:38   so you pull up to the curb if you're in [TS]

00:48:40   the backseat you're not gonna get off on [TS]

00:48:42   this you're gonna get out on the streets [TS]

00:48:43   they say whatever little kids said they [TS]

00:48:45   slide Clyde Clyde Clyde client so the [TS]

00:48:49   British armored steel it's like lot [TS]

00:48:51   never have a move over over you're [TS]

00:48:53   saying that i have said move over room I [TS]

00:48:55   said that to my daughter about the 16 [TS]

00:48:57   times a day when she sits on my area my [TS]

00:48:58   area of the couch that i bought icy [TS]

00:49:01   River mr. seen slide Clyde I'm gonna say [TS]

00:49:04   move over over whenever someone is on my [TS]

00:49:06   side of the bed because i have a clear [TS]

00:49:08   side of the bed don't get myself it's [TS]

00:49:10   not complicated [TS]

00:49:12   you know what I mean I complicated you [TS]

00:49:13   walked into my room you know what side [TS]

00:49:15   of the bed isn't babies understand half [TS]

00:49:17   that's right if we're in a hotel [TS]

00:49:19   yeah you should want change anything [TS]

00:49:21   doesn't get a half is still have this is [TS]

00:49:22   your side of the day this is my side [TS]

00:49:25   yeah but everybody seems to feel like [TS]

00:49:26   that they need to be over on my side [TS]

00:49:28   like no no no nearside it on your side [TS]

00:49:32   that's why it's called your side [TS]

00:49:33   that's right exactly it's right in the [TS]

00:49:35   middle name the my side has my name in [TS]

00:49:37   it that's me I'm is me I I me and in the [TS]

00:49:40   middle of you what's called your side we [TS]

00:49:42   were side explains everything in this [TS]

00:49:44   one very simple phrase it's your insides [TS]

00:49:47   the side of the bed that is for you're [TS]

00:49:48   in the middle of the night don't get [TS]

00:49:50   your feet on my side even 10 can see [TS]

00:49:52   that still that's yours that's John side [TS]

00:49:54   of the bed the feet go on your side [TS]

00:49:55   because let's feed those are your feet [TS]

00:49:58   feet i'm gonna start saying move over [TS]

00:50:00   over over over over and let Jimmy take [TS]

00:50:03   over where slide Clyde I let me ask you [TS]

00:50:08   this [TS]

00:50:08   yes did you do you remember learning the [TS]

00:50:13   word nautical [TS]

00:50:17   nautical I'm gonna do I don't remember [TS]

00:50:19   specifically learning it i remember its [TS]

00:50:22   seeming old-timey and kind of Jules [TS]

00:50:25   Verne when I first heard it right but [TS]

00:50:27   not a goal to me nautical is not I don't [TS]

00:50:29   think of like a destroyer I think about [TS]

00:50:32   a ship it's got a sextant you get one of [TS]

00:50:34   those big companies whatever those are [TS]

00:50:36   yeah I could be a steam ship but it's [TS]

00:50:39   but it's still not gonna take captain's [TS]

00:50:42   wheel you got you get rigging that gets [TS]

00:50:44   climbed you might have a brig but [TS]

00:50:46   nautical also is a use a science science [TS]

00:50:49   scientific room with you go and we have [TS]

00:50:51   charts and things and that's those are [TS]

00:50:52   all nautical things right but I think [TS]

00:50:54   you probably heard and understood the [TS]

00:50:57   word nautical before even making those [TS]

00:50:59   associations probably as just something [TS]

00:51:02   that had to do with the sea like that [TS]

00:51:04   the nautical themed bar and some nights [TS]

00:51:06   not right serve water uh when did you [TS]

00:51:09   and I think i'm not i'm not even going [TS]

00:51:11   to have to phrase this in terms of a [TS]

00:51:13   quiz because I've already have the [TS]

00:51:15   answer for you yes but i think the word [TS]

00:51:17   bovine is simple right you don't [TS]

00:51:19   remember learning the word bovine no I [TS]

00:51:21   remember seeing funny from the beginning [TS]

00:51:22   it's pretty funny but like bovine also [TS]

00:51:25   is the thing that that it's not there's [TS]

00:51:28   not a reason to use it [TS]

00:51:31   no one ever says bovina that's one of [TS]

00:51:33   the special words you just used to be [TS]

00:51:34   cute or funny or smart [TS]

00:51:36   yeah but it's a thing that you know [TS]

00:51:37   because you've read some do you read [TS]

00:51:40   some article or some description or [TS]

00:51:42   someone has their it has come up even [TS]

00:51:46   though bovine has no there's nothing in [TS]

00:51:48   the word to see its distinction that [TS]

00:51:50   most people in cities today don't need [TS]

00:51:53   to make do with the regular version or [TS]

00:51:54   the bowline version right it's what we [TS]

00:51:57   antibiotic of whatever like when you [TS]

00:51:59   have the need to use the word you just [TS]

00:52:00   go cow stuff [TS]

00:52:01   yeah but you would you count stuff right [TS]

00:52:03   unless you were reading an article about [TS]

00:52:04   about block bovines or blow vines food [TS]

00:52:09   um but yeah so I'm compartment i'm [TS]

00:52:11   working on this theory of language that [TS]

00:52:16   and that's connected to a theory of [TS]

00:52:18   education that there's there's a certain [TS]

00:52:21   uh there's a certain vocabulary that [TS]

00:52:25   you're never going to if you have one of [TS]

00:52:28   those vocabulary calendars where every [TS]

00:52:30   day there's an [TS]

00:52:31   new word yeah and you rip off the top of [TS]

00:52:33   the thing it's like today's word is bond [TS]

00:52:35   vine if you don't already know what [TS]

00:52:39   bovine is that you learned at some point [TS]

00:52:42   who threw from your parents or something [TS]

00:52:46   your bovine is not a word that you're [TS]

00:52:47   going to learn from a free minute of [TS]

00:52:50   vocabulary desk calendar and if they [TS]

00:52:52   talk about it in school they're like [TS]

00:52:54   today's word is bond Viner like here are [TS]

00:52:56   some years ten words you need to [TS]

00:52:57   memorize for the vocabulary test don't [TS]

00:53:00   really like a GRE word no no it's not [TS]

00:53:02   going to stick right like I think about [TS]

00:53:04   like words that I remember learning for [TS]

00:53:06   the GRE like lachrymose lachrymose right [TS]

00:53:09   there's all these words you just learn [TS]

00:53:11   for the GRE or words that you have read [TS]

00:53:14   or heard in your own kind of family or [TS]

00:53:17   your own early education right lacrimosa [TS]

00:53:20   is a word that by the time you've read [TS]

00:53:23   it 15 times you're like alright what the [TS]

00:53:25   fuck does that mean you go look it up in [TS]

00:53:26   the dictionary [TS]

00:53:27   yeah but you don't it's not a word [TS]

00:53:29   that's going to stick if it's educated [TS]

00:53:31   on to you [TS]

00:53:32   uh-huh and this is the this is one of [TS]

00:53:35   the problems I think of one of a one of [TS]

00:53:37   the problems with a theory of education [TS]

00:53:39   that like where there are there are [TS]

00:53:41   there imbalances in schools that we need [TS]

00:53:45   to redress and we need to do that [TS]

00:53:47   through vocabulary tests and so forth [TS]

00:53:50   where there's just this weird there's [TS]

00:53:52   this vocabulary in within the language [TS]

00:53:54   with these words nautical bovine and I [TS]

00:53:57   wouldn't put lacrimosa in there but like [TS]

00:53:59   just words that you just know what you [TS]

00:54:01   just know what they mean where there's [TS]

00:54:03   no it's not like aeronautical that you [TS]

00:54:05   can that you can say like oh it has the [TS]

00:54:08   word air in it aeronautical is a good [TS]

00:54:10   word [TS]

00:54:10   yeah it might be but you know it's not a [TS]

00:54:13   cold plus air its aeronautical even [TS]

00:54:16   though air is felt differently right but [TS]

00:54:19   it's not a thing you could triangulate [TS]

00:54:20   to but you just know and then that [TS]

00:54:25   that's that's the that kind of that [TS]

00:54:29   substrata of knowledge is a thing I [TS]

00:54:31   don't know how you would educate into [TS]

00:54:34   someone it's like a it's like an [TS]

00:54:36   advantage that certain kids have going [TS]

00:54:38   into school who that they're just bathed [TS]

00:54:41   in a [TS]

00:54:41   already a language that's inaccessible [TS]

00:54:44   and it's not one that's it's not one [TS]

00:54:47   that's maybe meant to communicate class [TS]

00:54:50   it's just a it's just that it's so it's [TS]

00:54:53   a vocabulary of people that that use [TS]

00:54:55   words and no word i'm not sure if I'm [TS]

00:54:58   getting your exact point but i think i [TS]

00:55:00   feel i think that i think i feel a thing [TS]

00:55:02   that I think is related and which is [TS]

00:55:06   this [TS]

00:55:06   so you've got things like vocabulary [TS]

00:55:08   look for example if you're learning [TS]

00:55:10   spanish you have your local area where [TS]

00:55:12   you've got right some spanish words [TS]

00:55:13   that's you know you want to learn what a [TS]

00:55:14   senhora and biblioteca all the things in [TS]

00:55:17   autocross yeah and my all-time favorite [TS]

00:55:19   a mana kiya monkey i love to see a [TS]

00:55:22   monkey but anyway that makes sense [TS]

00:55:24   because you have a you have a marker [TS]

00:55:25   here is what I'm gonna start saying when [TS]

00:55:26   somebody gets their feet on my side of [TS]

00:55:28   the monarchy gii your butter and so [TS]

00:55:34   here's the thing though so that makes [TS]

00:55:36   sense if you have a primary language [TS]

00:55:37   Anarchy's Muslims English then you're [TS]

00:55:39   gonna say okay and undergo would learn [TS]

00:55:41   all of these not cognates but need to [TS]

00:55:44   learn the words for things that can [TS]

00:55:46   mentally say when I want to say library [TS]

00:55:48   i know i have to say bibliothèque and I [TS]

00:55:50   learned all those words as I'm kind of [TS]

00:55:52   working my way through the difficult [TS]

00:55:53   process of like you know a spoonful at a [TS]

00:55:56   time trying to learn this language [TS]

00:55:57   you're not standing on the street in in [TS]

00:55:59   Mexico City going libreria daughter a [TS]

00:56:02   library Oh librarian but here's the [TS]

00:56:05   thing and this is not very smart but [TS]

00:56:07   it's just the thing you know the way my [TS]

00:56:10   kids learning math is very different [TS]

00:56:11   from the way that I learned math or also [TS]

00:56:13   arithmetic and we can all time to go too [TS]

00:56:16   deeply into it but it's it's a very [TS]

00:56:17   different way I grew up likely doing [TS]

00:56:22   math the hard way for no good reason and [TS]

00:56:25   like just memorizing lots of stuff and [TS]

00:56:26   there's the way that she's learning that [TS]

00:56:29   is a lot is a lot smarter and a lot more [TS]

00:56:31   integrated with how life works and she's [TS]

00:56:33   learning things in a way that will make [TS]

00:56:34   things like algebra much less weird to [TS]

00:56:37   learn her new math is treason our new [TS]

00:56:39   math is trees and nice hey goodbye love [TS]

00:56:42   that bag okay i think i'm not done his [TS]

00:56:45   thing about vocabulary here's the [TS]

00:56:46   problem you go out and buy yourself a [TS]

00:56:48   word-a-day calendar and like you can [TS]

00:56:51   make yourself sound a little bit fancy [TS]

00:56:53   because you could say things like that [TS]

00:56:55   really made me lachrymose and like but [TS]

00:56:57   the thing is that strap on education is [TS]

00:56:59   the process and here's the thing i'm not [TS]

00:57:01   on sounds really condescending I don't [TS]

00:57:02   mean it to be it's just that you learn [TS]

00:57:04   enough about how to suss out word what [TS]

00:57:06   word is or where to look it up and went [TS]

00:57:08   to deploy it correctly you will learn [TS]

00:57:10   things like in the case of people like [TS]

00:57:12   me who are annoying but there's a [TS]

00:57:14   difference between costly and expensive [TS]

00:57:15   they mean different things saying the [TS]

00:57:17   one you mean [TS]

00:57:18   hello if you read enough stuff you can [TS]

00:57:20   learn the words mean things and [TS]

00:57:21   different words mean different things [TS]

00:57:22   and when you read and read and read and [TS]

00:57:24   read and you think they can talk and [TS]

00:57:26   read and read and read a little talk a [TS]

00:57:28   little [TS]

00:57:28   you're gonna get good at that the [TS]

00:57:29   problem is strapped on education is this [TS]

00:57:32   way of saying like gap but if you [TS]

00:57:34   haven't had all with that their lives [TS]

00:57:35   the privilege to benefit of that you can [TS]

00:57:37   kind of snuck a fake you can simulate [TS]

00:57:41   see again words you can simulate that [TS]

00:57:43   emulates duel with me la calendar [TS]

00:57:46   simulating simulacrum my own milady the [TS]

00:57:50   ground the titles of books you almost [TS]

00:57:51   finished my lady friend went to law [TS]

00:57:55   school and learn learned school she was [TS]

00:57:59   very successful in school and she [TS]

00:58:01   learned how to be in school i'm saying i [TS]

00:58:05   learned it so you can be teaches you [TS]

00:58:07   that [TS]

00:58:08   yeah like and the thing is about blurts [TS]

00:58:10   is learning how to go to school learning [TS]

00:58:12   how to speak in school and go to school [TS]

00:58:13   and I learned how to be in school on my [TS]

00:58:17   own right where I was like I need to [TS]

00:58:19   learn how to be in school here's what I [TS]

00:58:21   think being in school is and everybody [TS]

00:58:23   was like nope nope that's not what being [TS]

00:58:25   in school is and I said too late i [TS]

00:58:28   learned how to be in school already buy [TS]

00:58:29   my own device [TS]

00:58:31   yep but she learned how to be in school [TS]

00:58:33   correctly and part of being in school [TS]

00:58:37   for her meant to read a certain way and [TS]

00:58:42   that reading was to read to to see you [TS]

00:58:47   know to skim the education out of the [TS]

00:58:49   book and it seems you once you know it [TS]

00:58:52   seems like cheating [TS]

00:58:53   well yeah because here's what you did [TS]

00:58:55   you look at the book you read the back [TS]

00:58:56   of the book you read the flap of the [TS]

00:58:58   book you read the table of contents you [TS]

00:59:00   go through the index you see how [TS]

00:59:01   detailed is the index order the parts [TS]

00:59:03   that are in bold and you find the parts [TS]

00:59:04   in the book that you definitely know in [TS]

00:59:05   the parts you don't know and you get a [TS]

00:59:07   shape of the education [TS]

00:59:08   for you read a fucking word right and [TS]

00:59:10   then you go through and you're like [TS]

00:59:11   chapter headings you skim through you [TS]

00:59:14   find halfway through the paragraph that [TS]

00:59:16   basically that the whole chapter hinges [TS]

00:59:19   upon it's the it's the fulcrum of the [TS]

00:59:21   chapter you can give it a Terry Gross [TS]

00:59:23   where you read you read the first two [TS]

00:59:24   chapters and then read the beginning and [TS]

00:59:26   end of every other chapter and if you [TS]

00:59:28   need to go back and read the whole thing [TS]

00:59:29   but spoiler alert i mean that's the way [TS]

00:59:32   to get through a lot of material that it [TS]

00:59:34   doesn't have to be the favorite book [TS]

00:59:35   you've ever read a lawyer thinks well [TS]

00:59:38   and this is this is one of the [TS]

00:59:40   interesting things as we try and find a [TS]

00:59:42   common language which is that I said [TS]

00:59:45   well here a couple of novels that meant [TS]

00:59:46   something to me and shredded she [TS]

00:59:49   recommended day how did you or did you [TS]

00:59:51   do a Merlin she was the first 20 seconds [TS]

00:59:54   whoa there's no way you read the heart [TS]

00:59:57   is a lonely hunter in a day and you [TS]

00:59:57   is a lonely hunter in a day and you [TS]

01:00:00   like totally and I realized like oh [TS]

01:00:03   there was a whole different relationship [TS]

01:00:04   to reading happening here that was and [TS]

01:00:07   both of us come from privileged places [TS]

01:00:10   where you know where you expect to go to [TS]

01:00:12   a good college and you end up in a world [TS]

01:00:14   of a of whatever thinking people but the [TS]

01:00:19   relationship and I have spent many many [TS]

01:00:22   many hours reading a reading like [TS]

01:00:26   literary theory books as though they [TS]

01:00:30   were novels where I'm like reading every [TS]

01:00:33   word and and try trying to find a [TS]

01:00:37   fucking plot in that whole discipline [TS]

01:00:40   her and just like I'm you know I'm in [TS]

01:00:43   this stew of words [TS]

01:00:45   eighty-five percent of them are made up [TS]

01:00:47   for in that context completely made up [TS]

01:00:49   like that's not a word that you can use [TS]

01:00:51   that way but okay I'm with you I'm with [TS]

01:00:52   you or I think i'm with you and so so [TS]

01:00:56   much of the books so many of the books [TS]

01:00:57   that I was exposed to i read incorrectly [TS]

01:01:03   I should've just been reading the table [TS]

01:01:05   of contents and scattering the first two [TS]

01:01:07   chapters and and throw the book in a [TS]

01:01:08   pyre but like like even trying to find a [TS]

01:01:13   philosophy of reading that's that is [TS]

01:01:15   common even with people that share your [TS]

01:01:18   sort of social and class strata it's [TS]

01:01:22   very interesting to find these other [TS]

01:01:23   styles and just to say like oh shit in [TS]

01:01:27   it in reading this not in me trying to [TS]

01:01:29   expose you to this novel and and get you [TS]

01:01:32   to treasure it [TS]

01:01:33   we have to go back a little bit and [TS]

01:01:35   start with a whole new you know like [TS]

01:01:37   learn to read a different way and that's [TS]

01:01:40   a that's a thing that that when you're [TS]

01:01:43   talking about a theory of Education [TS]

01:01:45   you're talking about like we need to [TS]

01:01:46   reform the school's how what in what [TS]

01:01:49   like what are you T how are you teaching [TS]

01:01:51   them to read and I don't mean like a [TS]

01:01:54   like stringing the words together but [TS]

01:01:55   like what is their style of reading [TS]

01:01:58   uh-huh and like him it's caused me to [TS]

01:02:00   reflect on my own style of reading and [TS]

01:02:02   it's why i can't subscribe to The New [TS]

01:02:04   York Times right it takes me it takes me [TS]

01:02:07   six hours to read the New York Times and [TS]

01:02:09   it doesn't take everyone else six hours [TS]

01:02:12   so i guess like the mail that's my wife [TS]

01:02:16   Madeline my wife she she reads so fast [TS]

01:02:20   and and i've tested her [TS]

01:02:22   I've jobs like if you really like i said [TS]

01:02:23   the thing is what you got to read this [TS]

01:02:24   thing about breakfast it's this screen [TS]

01:02:27   cap that's 33 pages of screencap from [TS]

01:02:30   facebook comments like it's pretty good [TS]

01:02:32   this kind of fucking thought-provoking [TS]

01:02:33   thing about article 25 you should look [TS]

01:02:35   at this and it was like it was like this [TS]

01:02:37   one two three [TS]

01:02:39   yeah it was interesting all right I get [TS]

01:02:43   the idea let's let's let's put a little [TS]

01:02:44   funny game called us placate merlino [TS]

01:02:46   that you actually read that she's like [TS]

01:02:47   AI was really good and she doesn't [TS]

01:02:49   belong that she was being glib but she [TS]

01:02:50   actually can read that fast and [TS]

01:02:52   comprehend it [TS]

01:02:53   yeah my reading is more like this bump [TS]

01:02:55   bone bone bone but i consider myself a [TS]

01:03:00   not stupid person but my reading is [TS]

01:03:02   ridiculously so so in terms of your I [TS]

01:03:04   much of this has to do with our fits and [TS]

01:03:06   that's don't talk about morris dancing [TS]

01:03:07   how how how does this relate to your [TS]

01:03:09   theory of education and education [TS]

01:03:12   well you know I had that the for a long [TS]

01:03:16   time right we've been trying to get to [TS]

01:03:20   get a similar Education a fair and [TS]

01:03:24   comparable education to the widest [TS]

01:03:27   number of students possible you don't [TS]

01:03:29   want to have a situation where there's [TS]

01:03:31   inequitable access to to education so [TS]

01:03:35   that the kids in the rich schools get a [TS]

01:03:37   great education and the kids in the poor [TS]

01:03:40   schools get shitty education sure and [TS]

01:03:42   within that theory of Education there's [TS]

01:03:44   a lot of understanding that by the time [TS]

01:03:47   a kid gets to school they're already on [TS]

01:03:50   a path and in some cases are are like [TS]

01:03:54   operatory able to digest are able to [TS]

01:03:59   that they already have a better [TS]

01:04:00   education just coming from home so with [TS]

01:04:03   a theory of education then extends to a [TS]

01:04:05   social theory of how do we get how do we [TS]

01:04:09   get that education in that preparation [TS]

01:04:12   for education who in kids before they [TS]

01:04:15   ever darken the doors and not to go to [TS]

01:04:18   the obvious bit but also in the face of [TS]

01:04:20   needing to teach the test which I love [TS]

01:04:23   so much thing now and that's a new thing [TS]

01:04:25   right that since the [TS]

01:04:26   Bush administration like it's not [TS]

01:04:27   there's not there's not a whole lot of [TS]

01:04:28   extra time at the end of the day to go [TS]

01:04:30   back and learn anything because yeah [TS]

01:04:32   there's there's a lot of a lot of tests [TS]

01:04:34   up that becomes very important how that [TS]

01:04:35   school gets money and stuff like that [TS]

01:04:37   yeah and the tests are all that there's [TS]

01:04:39   a lot of prejudice within the test of [TS]

01:04:42   just like and and and the idea of that I [TS]

01:04:47   that's a fairly new idea where [TS]

01:04:50   african-american students don't ask [TS]

01:04:54   rhetorical questions because rhetorical [TS]

01:04:57   questions are not part of the language [TS]

01:05:01   of the african-american community [TS]

01:05:04   well yeah so they come in two different [TS]

01:05:06   thing [TS]

01:05:07   yeah we come into schools and their [TS]

01:05:09   white teacher will say so uh what is [TS]

01:05:14   what is another orange what is an orange [TS]

01:05:18   and the black kids will be like one [TS]

01:05:21   that's a fucking orange and the white [TS]

01:05:24   kids are like is it a fruit and the [TS]

01:05:27   teacher go exactly it's a fruit so we [TS]

01:05:31   know that and oranges of fruit right and [TS]

01:05:33   they that there's this sort of pedantry [TS]

01:05:35   that that is where they where the the [TS]

01:05:40   rhetorical question is a way of setting [TS]

01:05:43   up a kind of like here's the metaphor [TS]

01:05:46   we're going to use on oranges and fruit [TS]

01:05:48   right so therefore all fruit are black [TS]

01:05:52   or you know what I mean like there's a [TS]

01:05:53   kind of there's a language of rhetoric [TS]

01:05:56   scizzum in the White style of Education [TS]

01:05:59   and black students go [TS]

01:06:02   this is a this is a stupid question huh [TS]

01:06:05   and so right away there's a language [TS]

01:06:09   Gulf that has nothing to do with the you [TS]

01:06:11   know obviously everybody understands [TS]

01:06:13   what an orange is it is that had this is [TS]

01:06:16   a problem related to how we teach or how [TS]

01:06:18   kids learn [TS]

01:06:19   yeah right well it so it like that he [TS]

01:06:21   said it said that's camera typically [TS]

01:06:23   exactly what it is is that there are all [TS]

01:06:28   these prejudices the way upstream in [TS]

01:06:33   terms of the way teachers just talk [TS]

01:06:36   right the way they even approach [TS]

01:06:38   subjects [TS]

01:06:39   huh that puts certain students at a [TS]

01:06:40   disadvantage before you know and and [TS]

01:06:45   makes them to the teacher seem dumb or [TS]

01:06:48   disengaged they get out they get a dark [TS]

01:06:50   mark from previous because they're like [TS]

01:06:53   huh [TS]

01:06:53   that is stupid question and the teachers [TS]

01:06:56   like no no you're not getting it [TS]

01:06:58   they're like no I get it you're asking [TS]

01:07:00   stupid obvious questions about my spot [TS]

01:07:02   where you know like where's my point of [TS]

01:07:03   engagement yeah sure [TS]

01:07:05   so so all of that you know as we as we [TS]

01:07:07   realize that stuff and understand that [TS]

01:07:09   we're trying to modify how we do but it [TS]

01:07:14   has it happens so far back that there's [TS]

01:07:18   no way other you know other than having [TS]

01:07:20   the schools and and you know having [TS]

01:07:23   schools be this this overarching agency [TS]

01:07:27   that's actually in people's homes you [TS]

01:07:30   know that you can't it's hard to Taylor [TS]

01:07:32   and I a system of education that serves [TS]

01:07:35   everybody and how do you that an edit [TS]

01:07:38   that the testing thing notwithstanding [TS]

01:07:39   like I feel like I feel like good [TS]

01:07:43   judging a school system on how well [TS]

01:07:45   students do on tests is just endtime [TS]

01:07:48   shit and it's the opposite of Education [TS]

01:07:51   and drives me bananas [TS]

01:07:52   maybe I agree it's teaching maybe it is [TS]

01:07:55   teaching kids to be good at law school [TS]

01:07:58   but I feel like we don't need that many [TS]

01:08:01   lawyers we need fewer lawyers and more [TS]

01:08:03   book readers we have plenty of lawyers [TS]

01:08:06   in other words but i love i love lawyers [TS]

01:08:09   don't get me wrong yeah but i mean i [TS]

01:08:13   would say more like maybe monitors maybe [TS]

01:08:16   more like doctors maybe that's what [TS]

01:08:17   we're trying to make with all this [TS]

01:08:18   testing but now with a lawyer like part [TS]

01:08:20   of being it seems to me that part of [TS]

01:08:21   being a lawyer and there's a reason I [TS]

01:08:23   suppose that so many of my friends from [TS]

01:08:24   fancy liberal arts school became [TS]

01:08:25   attorneys and it wasn't just because of [TS]

01:08:27   their love of the law or the desire to [TS]

01:08:29   be a judge or you know if the full of [TS]

01:08:32   the time for most people giving up and [TS]

01:08:33   becoming a teacher of law but that [TS]

01:08:35   happened really quickly in some cases [TS]

01:08:37   but no it's because there was something [TS]

01:08:39   very attractive about law school to [TS]

01:08:41   people who would read a lot and fought a [TS]

01:08:43   lot and work independently and had to [TS]

01:08:45   figure out relatively impossible amount [TS]

01:08:47   of work [TS]

01:08:48   alright period of time so if it was like [TS]

01:08:50   tingling like me with systemic [TS]

01:08:52   I've sixteen hundred pages of reading [TS]

01:08:54   this week I better get started and make [TS]

01:08:56   coffee doesn't hurt but there's another [TS]

01:08:58   way of saying like how do we feel like [TS]

01:09:00   hack on this to figure out okay what is [TS]

01:09:03   the one and i'm not even any good at [TS]

01:09:05   this I'm not a lawyer but like there's a [TS]

01:09:06   certain kind of thinking you have to do [TS]

01:09:08   to go like how do i find the like twenty [TS]

01:09:10   percent of this that is going to be [TS]

01:09:12   hugely important to getting the most [TS]

01:09:13   important part of this done right so as [TS]

01:09:16   a lawyer you might go into a case it [TS]

01:09:17   seems to me and say like like if I treat [TS]

01:09:19   every datum in this news many many [TS]

01:09:22   positive banker boxes factory all of [TS]

01:09:24   these data as equally important time I'm [TS]

01:09:26   gonna be screwed [TS]

01:09:28   I'm gonna have to find some way to [TS]

01:09:30   quickly almost like a like a sorting [TS]

01:09:31   algorithm i'm going to find some way to [TS]

01:09:33   to get the gist of a bunch of this [TS]

01:09:35   fairly quickly write like well I think [TS]

01:09:37   about my daughter you know the trick [TS]

01:09:38   about the estimating where you take a [TS]

01:09:40   big pile of stuff you break it into n [TS]

01:09:43   divisions of Latino that look equivalent [TS]

01:09:46   you know this old trick right you can [TS]

01:09:47   take all of your change for example [TS]

01:09:48   their websites that can help you do this [TS]

01:09:50   but we could weigh your change basically [TS]

01:09:51   find out how much it's worth [TS]

01:09:53   but if you take a giant amount of your [TS]

01:09:54   change breaking into your hand range its [TS]

01:09:56   to it works astonishingly well that's [TS]

01:09:58   one of my favorite bad company songs you [TS]

01:10:02   know about this you go and you take a [TS]

01:10:04   bunch of your change and you grab a [TS]

01:10:06   certain amount of it and you come up but [TS]

01:10:09   no however much arbitrarily you say like [TS]

01:10:11   okay in this two fists worth there are [TS]

01:10:14   as many quarters this many times this [TS]

01:10:16   mean because this many pennies and then [TS]

01:10:18   you weigh how much is in the jar and [TS]

01:10:21   it's astonishingly close [TS]

01:10:23   really yeah because you're taking this [TS]

01:10:24   random sampling of your of your own it's [TS]

01:10:27   not perfect but like even if you're [TS]

01:10:28   getting like one percent of the change [TS]

01:10:30   that's in there if it's a difference [TS]

01:10:32   affair sampling you're not just [TS]

01:10:33   cherry-picking quarters [TS]

01:10:34   yeah it is astonishingly good so what [TS]

01:10:37   she's learned that trick so that's okay [TS]

01:10:38   here's the thing and you sleep anymore [TS]

01:10:40   penny ha'penny I think you know anybody [TS]

01:10:42   that says penny I don't know i'll find [TS]

01:10:44   out but that elements are going with [TS]

01:10:46   this article that this is an amazingly [TS]

01:10:48   useful skill like that i don't remember [TS]

01:10:51   learning things like this of like you [TS]

01:10:53   know what if you want to figure out how [TS]

01:10:54   many are in this set you know anybody [TS]

01:10:56   can figure out half of something [TS]

01:10:57   visually like half roughly half now half [TS]

01:11:00   of that have that have etc center count [TS]

01:11:02   how many are in that amount and then x [TS]

01:11:04   how many [TS]

01:11:04   miles there are and it's gonna be close [TS]

01:11:06   enough most of the time that perfect no [TS]

01:11:09   because this morally general way that [TS]

01:11:11   we're taught to do is you count every [TS]

01:11:13   fucking one because an American School [TS]

01:11:15   we're gonna get this right memorize [TS]

01:11:16   memorize memorize instead of going like [TS]

01:11:17   here's an estimation that's going to get [TS]

01:11:19   you most of the way there in like a [TS]

01:11:21   twentieth of the time so this is how it [TS]

01:11:23   is how to do and that's what our should [TS]

01:11:25   read a table right when you when you sit [TS]

01:11:27   down and you're trying to read Hagel and [TS]

01:11:29   you're like here I go I'm reading Hagel [TS]

01:11:31   and you're in you're in the you know [TS]

01:11:34   you're in the first two chapters and [TS]

01:11:37   it's one of those like read four [TS]

01:11:38   sentences go back and read the first [TS]

01:11:40   sentence again type of thing [TS]

01:11:41   normal beyond really you should just be [TS]

01:11:44   approaching like like his law school [TS]

01:11:46   students can read sixteen hundred pages [TS]

01:11:47   and four and a half hours and you know [TS]

01:11:51   and i'm still on page 150 going like now [TS]

01:11:54   wait a minute let me go back to the [TS]

01:11:55   dictionary and you can i find myself [TS]

01:11:57   doubting myself it's just even i was [TS]

01:11:59   reading a very accessible very good book [TS]

01:12:02   about language yesterday and even [TS]

01:12:03   because i was with my family the beach i [TS]

01:12:05   would still have to keep going back and [TS]

01:12:07   going like I think I just missed I kept [TS]

01:12:09   feeling like I miss something [TS]

01:12:10   yeah because if you don't read it [TS]

01:12:12   straight through you gotta go back you [TS]

01:12:14   gotta go back right and i and and and [TS]

01:12:16   what that effectively did in certain [TS]

01:12:18   ways was it like my feeling that to read [TS]

01:12:21   a book half acidly left me with a [TS]

01:12:25   dissatisfied feeling that I had not read [TS]

01:12:28   every word in that book and understood [TS]

01:12:30   it and therefore I in some ways had done [TS]

01:12:34   it was worse to have read that book half [TS]

01:12:38   acidly then to not have even read the [TS]

01:12:40   book like I did by reading that book [TS]

01:12:43   poorly i did the book a disservice and [TS]

01:12:46   so to honor the book i will not even [TS]

01:12:48   begin to read it and that was a weird [TS]

01:12:51   that's a weird relationship to reading [TS]

01:12:53   and I have you know I have I have [TS]

01:12:56   friends that have read like volumes and [TS]

01:13:00   volumes and volumes and from where I'm [TS]

01:13:03   coming from they read it half acidly [TS]

01:13:05   they never had that moment where they [TS]

01:13:08   put the book down and went oh god that [TS]

01:13:11   was beautiful writer they like reading [TS]

01:13:13   through a chapter they're just like oh [TS]

01:13:15   my god [TS]

01:13:15   that was the most beautiful thing I've [TS]

01:13:16   ever read their missing that they have [TS]

01:13:18   let me think about it think about the [TS]

01:13:20   way I have a friend is a read scripts at [TS]

01:13:22   Lucasfilm and you know anybody reads [TS]

01:13:25   film's producer you think about that [TS]

01:13:27   scene in the producers you know where [TS]

01:13:29   they're going through all the different [TS]

01:13:29   scripts to find the terrible one but [TS]

01:13:31   like she knows and quarters talk about [TS]

01:13:33   this she like she knows within like 25 [TS]

01:13:36   pages pretty much like what this is [TS]

01:13:39   something she needs to keep reading [TS]

01:13:40   because she's got so many scripts treat [TS]

01:13:42   she can't stop and sit and cry about the [TS]

01:13:44   beauty of the plot of every one of them [TS]

01:13:45   she's going to do you think about being [TS]

01:13:47   a book editor in New York City we [TS]

01:13:48   imagine that stacks and stacks and [TS]

01:13:50   stacks it's like you can't be reading [TS]

01:13:52   these books you got to develop some kind [TS]

01:13:53   of a hero sting a set of heuristics for [TS]

01:13:56   figuring out when something is worth [TS]

01:13:57   spending your time on and then quickly [TS]

01:13:59   sussing out how much time before you [TS]

01:14:01   reassess how much time you should spend [TS]

01:14:03   I mean not to bring this back to karl [TS]

01:14:05   rove button [TS]

01:14:07   I mean how many how many pages of a guy [TS]

01:14:11   recounting basically minute-by-minute [TS]

01:14:13   what his boring childhood was was like [TS]

01:14:17   how many of those how much but you know [TS]

01:14:19   but to put the book down and say I can't [TS]

01:14:22   keep doing this as opposed to just [TS]

01:14:24   accelerating your pace and we like [TS]

01:14:26   uh-huh can get through this category [TS]

01:14:27   this glitter this slip right left right [TS]

01:14:29   right still talking about that time in [TS]

01:14:31   the kitchen where his dad wouldn't look [TS]

01:14:32   at him [TS]

01:14:33   flip flip flip right depends on what [TS]

01:14:36   you're there for I mean that you get the [TS]

01:14:38   same could be said I guess of like any [TS]

01:14:40   warhol movie where you go into it [TS]

01:14:42   knowing that it's going to be many many [TS]

01:14:43   hours long and then seemingly [TS]

01:14:45   deliberately boring and so that you can [TS]

01:14:47   either be there for that experience or [TS]

01:14:51   you can get super frustrated about how [TS]

01:14:52   dumb it is well and like the cremaster [TS]

01:14:54   cycle huh are you if are you watching [TS]

01:14:58   I'm not reading that for plot watching [TS]

01:15:00   that for plot but if you're watching it [TS]

01:15:01   and also looking at your phone and also [TS]

01:15:04   i'm getting with your friend are you [TS]

01:15:06   watching you [TS]

01:15:06   I know I know I go through this with my [TS]

01:15:08   lady friend because when i'm watching [TS]

01:15:10   something really good especially if it's [TS]

01:15:12   got dragons and shit [TS]

01:15:14   I put everything down I put everything [TS]

01:15:16   down and I watching and with it's one of [TS]

01:15:18   those like if it's looking like a [TS]

01:15:19   generosity anything like that where it [TS]

01:15:21   quits an immersive potentially [TS]

01:15:23   disturbing experience you know there's [TS]

01:15:26   going to be little things that are cute [TS]

01:15:29   you have a sport I'm trying to write [TS]

01:15:32   something here which is to say that like [TS]

01:15:34   I think one problem with us as we get [TS]

01:15:35   older as you rely more heavily on [TS]

01:15:37   heuristics shortcuts eventually clichés [TS]

01:15:39   which can of course take you all the way [TS]

01:15:41   down to like stabbing people in [TS]

01:15:42   Sacramento because that's how you roll [TS]

01:15:44   you don't want to get too caught up in [TS]

01:15:47   your guesses your fast guess about what [TS]

01:15:50   something is [TS]

01:15:51   and yet I think there's other kinds of [TS]

01:15:53   heuristics that we don't think about [TS]

01:15:54   actively I know I don't think about [TS]

01:15:56   actively enough and it's something you [TS]

01:15:58   know and how do you judge this you think [TS]

01:16:01   about something like a line like well [TS]

01:16:02   you know I don't have to eat a pound of [TS]

01:16:04   dirt to know I don't want to eat dirt [TS]

01:16:05   like the kind of thing you would say [TS]

01:16:06   about in politics like oh well use right [TS]

01:16:08   this person off like this is kind of the [TS]

01:16:10   characteristics that can be very [TS]

01:16:12   dismissive but like for example like if [TS]

01:16:14   you walk into you walk into a thrift [TS]

01:16:17   store [TS]

01:16:18   Eric I bet you've got an unconscious or [TS]

01:16:20   even conscious set of heuristics very [TS]

01:16:22   common for how much time to spend before [TS]

01:16:25   you realize and recheck how much time to [TS]

01:16:27   spend you would never go i'm gonna look [TS]

01:16:28   at every item in this entire store i [TS]

01:16:30   could put it on I could put in a [TS]

01:16:31   worksheet it could be one page long and [TS]

01:16:34   now there could be a quiz give me a [TS]

01:16:35   couple like it doesn't start outside [TS]

01:16:37   what how how do you at what begins the [TS]

01:16:39   process of going [TS]

01:16:41   yeah warm or cold like this you mean [TS]

01:16:43   this is not me for me you walk in you're [TS]

01:16:45   already moving fast right you don't [TS]

01:16:47   stand in the doorway of a thrift store [TS]

01:16:48   and look around like a dummy your you [TS]

01:16:51   come in your moving fast you know that [TS]

01:16:54   if there if this particular thrift store [TS]

01:16:56   has already cherry-picked what they [TS]

01:16:59   think is the nice stuff which they're [TS]

01:17:01   usually wrong about but if they've [TS]

01:17:04   already cherry-picked to a certain [TS]

01:17:05   extent and put over in their little [TS]

01:17:07   boutique area never thought of that [TS]

01:17:10   before that's so awful but it's true the [TS]

01:17:12   stuff that's been chosen as a high-value [TS]

01:17:14   fashion stuff that people who work [TS]

01:17:15   exactly right this is a person you need [TS]

01:17:18   to know that people in the back of a [TS]

01:17:20   thrift store do not understand what is [TS]

01:17:22   good but sometimes it's like weighing [TS]

01:17:25   your change sometimes they get it just [TS]

01:17:28   right enough that you can't you can't [TS]

01:17:30   blow past that thing and say no things [TS]

01:17:33   you do have to go through it right right [TS]

01:17:36   up but you can go through it pretty [TS]

01:17:37   quickly I was standing in the thrift [TS]

01:17:39   store one time listening to the little [TS]

01:17:41   old ladies in the back [TS]

01:17:42   room who were sorting stuff and one of [TS]

01:17:46   them pulled out a 2 or t-shirt from like [TS]

01:17:49   a late seventies journey to her [TS]

01:17:53   oh my god was it was a baseball shirt [TS]

01:17:57   it was the a fucking baseball shirt I [TS]

01:17:59   just feel for that it was battered you [TS]

01:18:02   know this shirt was was battered but [TS]

01:18:04   still intact and still beautiful i'm [TS]

01:18:06   still looking for a van Halen was it 79 [TS]

01:18:09   invasion sharp i'm still looking for one [TS]

01:18:11   of those right so that shirt on Melrose [TS]

01:18:13   is where 250 dollars and in San [TS]

01:18:17   Francisco it's worth a hundred and fifty [TS]

01:18:18   dollars and on ebay it's probably worth [TS]

01:18:20   ninety dollars and this little old lady [TS]

01:18:23   is like well what do you think Marge [TS]

01:18:25   this is that you think that this is [TS]

01:18:26   still wearable and Marge looks and goes [TS]

01:18:28   now it's pretty worn out [TS]

01:18:30   yeah and i watch her toss it into a bin [TS]

01:18:33   which been I'm sure is headed to either [TS]

01:18:37   of fabric recycle become death Mets a [TS]

01:18:40   bath mats or it's gonna go to the [TS]

01:18:41   Ukraine right there's a there's a whole [TS]

01:18:43   there's a whole thing and member Ukraine [TS]

01:18:47   I said the Ukraine I'm sorry it again he [TS]

01:18:49   started writing on out to use this it's [TS]

01:18:51   going to maybe it's and I know that [TS]

01:18:53   whoever is mad at me about saying value [TS]

01:18:55   crane is also going to be mad at the [TS]

01:18:57   suggestion that old t-shirts are being [TS]

01:18:58   delivered so long as you don't get some [TS]

01:19:00   kids gonna be a don't stop believin he's [TS]

01:19:02   gonna be so happy [TS]

01:19:03   that's right but and I think maybe it [TS]

01:19:04   ends up in a in Transylvania let's say [TS]

01:19:08   Transylvania because I've never gotten [TS]

01:19:09   angry from anyone in Transylvania at [TS]

01:19:13   work instinct was going to retire but [TS]

01:19:15   I'm looking at it i'm looking at this [TS]

01:19:17   thing go into this bin and i'm thinking [TS]

01:19:18   i am not someone who's gonna get that [TS]

01:19:21   journey t-shirt and sell it on ebay i'm [TS]

01:19:22   just not and I don't care enough about [TS]

01:19:24   it and vaya con Dios dirty shirt like [TS]

01:19:28   you blew it but I'm also thinking these [TS]

01:19:30   ladies throw Otis so there's a heuristic [TS]

01:19:34   for you is that there is a chance that [TS]

01:19:36   there is some some pros among the [TS]

01:19:38   oysters here [TS]

01:19:39   it happens every day ok but when I walk [TS]

01:19:41   into the store I go through their [TS]

01:19:43   boutique really fast and you know my my [TS]

01:19:47   number-one heuristic is if you don't [TS]

01:19:49   like the fabric of the thing doesn't [TS]

01:19:52   matter if it's oh don't let your time [TS]

01:19:55   right [TS]

01:19:56   if you're walking through the thing and [TS]

01:19:57   you're like does this fit does this fit [TS]

01:19:59   does this fit your that's your [TS]

01:20:01   screwed-up you what you do is you run [TS]

01:20:03   your you kind of walk down the aisle you [TS]

01:20:05   run your fingers along at the size area [TS]

01:20:07   so you say long sleeve shirts in your [TS]

01:20:09   lungs no no no because for those people [TS]

01:20:13   in the back room don't know what sizes [TS]

01:20:15   are either they just don't been [TS]

01:20:19   particularly because a lot of shirts [TS]

01:20:20   that are nice are in european style [TS]

01:20:22   sizes and they're like 46 I guess that [TS]

01:20:26   means it's the same as a 14 maybe they [TS]

01:20:29   put the decimal point the wrong place [TS]

01:20:31   you know stuff is everywhere all the [TS]

01:20:33   time sometimes i go over and look in the [TS]

01:20:36   extra-large women's stuff because they [TS]

01:20:39   look at a blazer that's an unusual color [TS]

01:20:42   and they go [TS]

01:20:43   this must be a girl's blazer and they [TS]

01:20:45   put in extra large womens so so we heard [TS]

01:20:50   it's it's just if you have to imagine it [TS]

01:20:53   just gets the gynecology color crystal [TS]

01:20:55   and the granularity of your lens like [TS]

01:20:57   how you see the world [TS]

01:20:58   yeah so I represent an entirely [TS]

01:21:00   different results a bit of of other [TS]

01:21:03   people's old shit arrives in the back [TS]

01:21:05   room of a thrift store and the people [TS]

01:21:07   who have either anointed themselves or [TS]

01:21:09   been transferred over into the sorter [TS]

01:21:12   gang are just going through there with [TS]

01:21:15   whatever their education is about [TS]

01:21:17   clothes and about stuff and they're like [TS]

01:21:20   this goes here this goes there and [TS]

01:21:21   they're often wrong so you just run your [TS]

01:21:24   fingers over everything until you see [TS]

01:21:26   something that jumps out at us like [TS]

01:21:27   that's nice and then then you you take [TS]

01:21:32   extra time with that you say this is [TS]

01:21:34   gonna fit do I like this do I like the [TS]

01:21:35   style and it's very different if you are [TS]

01:21:38   looking for a black suit to go to a [TS]

01:21:39   funeral because there's a lot of black [TS]

01:21:42   suits and you have to kind of like okay [TS]

01:21:45   I'm just confining myself to it was [TS]

01:21:47   confined myself to these blacks but for [TS]

01:21:49   me I can walk through there really fast [TS]

01:21:50   just like nope nope nope nope nope i [TS]

01:21:53   know that i'm not going to go through [TS]

01:21:56   the every button down shirt in the store [TS]

01:21:59   looking for the one that jumps out at me [TS]

01:22:02   because I can just go i can i can go [TS]

01:22:04   almost at a walking pace with with my [TS]

01:22:07   middle finger just [TS]

01:22:09   raising over everything uh-huh looking [TS]

01:22:11   for the moment that I hit something [TS]

01:22:13   that's like that feels good or that [TS]

01:22:15   fabrics unusual or you know and then [TS]

01:22:18   they're almost just as quickly you can [TS]

01:22:21   pull the thing out [TS]

01:22:22   look at it and say is that gonna fit me [TS]

01:22:24   yea or nay uh-huh [TS]

01:22:26   I then the upu look at you go neigh and [TS]

01:22:28   if you look at the tag only you will be [TS]

01:22:32   wrong about a third of the time because [TS]

01:22:34   the tags going to say medium and then [TS]

01:22:37   you look at the shirt you're like this [TS]

01:22:38   is not a medium clearly it's not a [TS]

01:22:40   medium it's bigger than all of its [TS]

01:22:42   neighbors you know like it's a it is a [TS]

01:22:45   mistake the sizes sizes even on garments [TS]

01:22:48   you pick up brand-new really feel like [TS]

01:22:52   there are two standard deviations [TS]

01:22:55   it's like I got a sweater not longer [TS]

01:22:57   that's a large that after one washing [TS]

01:22:59   feel smaller than a medium uh there's [TS]

01:23:01   not much to really bank on except your [TS]

01:23:03   ability to let go pick it up and try [TS]

01:23:06   yourself [TS]

01:23:07   yeah that's right so I hid all that [TS]

01:23:09   stuff right i barely look at pants [TS]

01:23:12   because really a man needs three pairs [TS]

01:23:14   of pants and I don't need to go through [TS]

01:23:16   a store where some other guys pants but [TS]

01:23:19   I do go through the shoes and again it's [TS]

01:23:21   a thing where the store is full of [TS]

01:23:24   square-toed shoes because square-toed [TS]

01:23:27   shoes are from the nineties or from the [TS]

01:23:30   two thousands or something and you don't [TS]

01:23:32   want to pair square-toed shoes if you [TS]

01:23:34   have a pair of square-toed shoes that [TS]

01:23:36   you bought back then that you're still [TS]

01:23:37   wearing that's great you're still [TS]

01:23:39   wearing the shoes that you bought them [TS]

01:23:41   you're not going to go buy somebody [TS]

01:23:42   else's throwaway square-toed shoes and [TS]

01:23:44   you can walk through the shoe section [TS]

01:23:45   and go nope nope nope nope and then [TS]

01:23:49   every once in awhile it's rare but you [TS]

01:23:52   see a pair of shoes and the shoes that [TS]

01:23:53   you're like these are used shoes already [TS]

01:23:56   a problem problematic notion yeah yeah [TS]

01:23:59   but this shoe the shoes singing to me [TS]

01:24:03   somehow and only then do you see if it [TS]

01:24:05   fits [TS]

01:24:06   uh-huh and then I go back to the luggage [TS]

01:24:08   and with the luggage I'm not even [TS]

01:24:10   touching stuff i'm just looking with my [TS]

01:24:11   eyes because what I'm looking for is a [TS]

01:24:14   certain kind of bag [TS]

01:24:16   which is to say old and soft you looking [TS]

01:24:23   for like the the plastic the red plastic [TS]

01:24:25   samsonite I don't want to dance tonight [TS]

01:24:26   I don't want somebody's old trumpet case [TS]

01:24:29   because i have 14 of those alright I [TS]

01:24:32   don't wanna I don't want a hatbox you [TS]

01:24:35   know look for someone's duffle that [TS]

01:24:39   someone's you know old small duffle that [TS]

01:24:44   they used maybe when they shipped out to [TS]

01:24:46   Singapore or maybe they used it as a gym [TS]

01:24:50   bag back in the day when they belonged [TS]

01:24:52   to an Athletic Club like said but I can [TS]

01:24:55   see it with my right and so I'm moving [TS]

01:24:56   through there and then I'm moving [TS]

01:24:58   through the blankets looking for a [TS]

01:25:00   Hudson's Bay blanket or a mohair some [TS]

01:25:04   kind of some kind of wool blanket made [TS]

01:25:07   by an American or Canadian or English [TS]

01:25:09   mill and again those are not fleece [TS]

01:25:12   blankets those are not comforters those [TS]

01:25:14   are not blankets knitted by your [TS]

01:25:15   grandmother there are certain kind of [TS]

01:25:16   thing and you can feel them with your [TS]

01:25:18   finger just run your finger along there [TS]

01:25:20   you're like that blankets too soft too [TS]

01:25:22   soft too soft oh that one feels [TS]

01:25:23   uncomfortable let's look at it and [TS]

01:25:26   because with the with a blanket you want [TS]

01:25:28   something that looks that looks and [TS]

01:25:29   feels uncomfortable because that those [TS]

01:25:30   are the those are the best ones some a [TS]

01:25:34   blanket that might have one point have [TS]

01:25:35   been on a horse [TS]

01:25:36   oh and then if there's plenty a time [TS]

01:25:40   right half the time i'm already out of [TS]

01:25:42   the thrift store by this point but if [TS]

01:25:43   there's plenty of time you look at the [TS]

01:25:45   cufflinks and the wallets and belt [TS]

01:25:48   buckles in this and again this is stuff [TS]

01:25:50   that they don't dawdle in that section [TS]

01:25:52   of various souvenir would items hope [TS]

01:25:55   somehow always have their own Island a [TS]

01:25:57   thrift store i got up i got all of the [TS]

01:25:59   in-and-out boxes i need I've gotta talk [TS]

01:26:02   about that could be also things made a [TS]

01:26:04   bob roughly a roughly making a sculpture [TS]

01:26:09   of something that looks like a person [TS]

01:26:10   out of tiny seashells [TS]

01:26:12   mmm yes all business that was made in [TS]

01:26:14   woodshop class pencil holders strange [TS]

01:26:18   that that area feels the most disturbing [TS]

01:26:19   like if I were gonna try and check out [TS]

01:26:21   the set of a movie to really look like a [TS]

01:26:23   serial killer was there i would get all [TS]

01:26:24   of those items while right like the [TS]

01:26:26   monkey that's made out thats carved out [TS]

01:26:28   of a coconut [TS]

01:26:29   my goodness somebody definitely want to [TS]

01:26:31   use this yeah well or and also the aisle [TS]

01:26:33   where it's just 1500 wall works for [TS]

01:26:37   different electronic devices that don't [TS]

01:26:40   exist anymore you have a cascade of [TS]

01:26:42   these that it sounds like is somewhat [TS]

01:26:44   conscious but you don't have to think [TS]

01:26:46   about it much you know you don't have to [TS]

01:26:47   think about each shirt you run your hand [TS]

01:26:49   along you have a whole cascade of ways [TS]

01:26:51   you blow through one of these places [TS]

01:26:53   yeah but i'm guessing there are also [TS]

01:26:54   things where you can even there's that [TS]

01:26:57   you can get a vibe sometimes about a [TS]

01:26:59   place for you [TS]

01:27:00   mm that's not gonna be good yeah you [TS]

01:27:02   walk in the door and you smell it [TS]

01:27:03   doesn't take long [TS]

01:27:04   oh there's a some photos that Dan has [TS]

01:27:08   been sending the overtime starting in [TS]

01:27:10   march and it is placing ad and gets very [TS]

01:27:11   bewildered he has concerns about things [TS]

01:27:13   that gets really like to send photos of [TS]

01:27:15   things again not always not always clear [TS]

01:27:16   what the not sure what it is or why [TS]

01:27:18   sending it yeah that's the thing that [TS]

01:27:20   nobody starts things to me in marches pc [TS]

01:27:22   is gonna get concerns about things we [TS]

01:27:24   called as concerned on the show today [TS]

01:27:26   I'm concerned about this place across [TS]

01:27:27   the street from his office it's this [TS]

01:27:28   place that has japanese food i want to [TS]

01:27:30   the name of but it says sushi ramen soba [TS]

01:27:33   so they're in what looks like you've [TS]

01:27:36   been someplace where there's not really [TS]

01:27:38   a front [TS]

01:27:39   everything feels like the back no matter [TS]

01:27:40   where you are is not one of those places [TS]

01:27:42   that they say I get it I get it yes it [TS]

01:27:44   was just goes ooh feels like this no [TS]

01:27:45   matter where you goin to San Francisco [TS]

01:27:47   you feel like you're behind wherever [TS]

01:27:49   you're supposed to actually be okay if I [TS]

01:27:51   went to this in a Japanese restaurant [TS]

01:27:52   would there there would be that curtain [TS]

01:27:54   between you in the kitchen but you feel [TS]

01:27:56   like you're on the wrong side of this [TS]

01:27:57   cases are outside there's a tree of [TS]

01:27:59   beautiful tree blocking the entire front [TS]

01:28:00   of this place but it basically looks [TS]

01:28:02   like a combination of across the [TS]

01:28:03   warehouse and one of those like a [TS]

01:28:04   super-solid places it's got an awning [TS]

01:28:06   but it looks very much like the back [TS]

01:28:08   door [TS]

01:28:08   there's lots of like utility boxes they [TS]

01:28:10   had a sign up for the place then they [TS]

01:28:12   added a second sign to the other side of [TS]

01:28:14   the house other side of the building [TS]

01:28:16   then they put Christmas lights around [TS]

01:28:19   the sign out front right to that they [TS]

01:28:21   then alone hello to that they then added [TS]

01:28:25   a costco open closed sign to that they [TS]

01:28:28   then added a lamp in addition to that [TS]

01:28:30   and the thing is but I watching this [TS]

01:28:32   progress now for you know whatever 3-4 [TS]

01:28:35   months it's it's so depressing because [TS]

01:28:37   they are doing something they think is [TS]

01:28:40   working [TS]

01:28:41   they think they're helping [TS]

01:28:43   easy heuristic a little bit by putting [TS]

01:28:45   up more signs and more crystal and every [TS]

01:28:47   like piece of shit look at me think that [TS]

01:28:49   they add to this makes this more place I [TS]

01:28:51   would never in a million years going to [TS]

01:28:52   yeah this is trying to get him saying [TS]

01:28:55   that they're trying to like stimulate in [TS]

01:28:57   their mind they're like why is no one [TS]

01:28:58   coming here we've got all these signs [TS]

01:28:59   and christmas lights why is no one [TS]

01:29:01   coming here for like food that is [TS]

01:29:03   definitely totally fresh if I owned a [TS]

01:29:05   restaurant I've thought about this if I [TS]

01:29:07   owned a restaurant I would have a very [TS]

01:29:09   difficult time not over accessorizing it [TS]

01:29:12   to assess exactly barrel [TS]

01:29:15   well no not quite that by wouldn't like [TS]

01:29:17   there wouldn't be any plows no [TS]

01:29:19   Bennigan's kind of street signs and [TS]

01:29:21   stuff but like I i also i too would [TS]

01:29:26   maybe not know when to stop with open [TS]

01:29:29   signs because you finally own a [TS]

01:29:34   restaurant you got to put all of them up [TS]

01:29:36   I'd find won an auction that was like a [TS]

01:29:38   cool vintage open sign and I'd put it in [TS]

01:29:41   there and then I'd be like wow you know [TS]

01:29:42   what a barber pole like signage [TS]

01:29:48   yeah maybe I should call this place [TS]

01:29:50   barbers who or taking j polls that and [TS]

01:29:54   and you know and pretty soon it would be [TS]

01:29:56   I would be like a mechanic ins and begin [TS]

01:29:58   Akalis where I just had you know my [TS]

01:30:02   waiters all had garters on their sleeve [TS]

01:30:04   uh-huh and and we're on roller skates [TS]

01:30:07   and I'd be like you know you're only [TS]

01:30:10   wearing 15 pieces of flair just here to [TS]

01:30:12   do a bit of a minimum job or you're [TS]

01:30:14   gonna go the whole distance like I would [TS]

01:30:16   be I I'm afraid of being in retail or in [TS]

01:30:19   restaurants mostly that would not be [TS]

01:30:22   able to know I wouldn't know when to [TS]

01:30:24   when to quit and every day because you [TS]

01:30:26   go into restaurants sometimes in there [TS]

01:30:28   like beautiful minimalist places [TS]

01:30:30   somebody's really thought about it like [TS]

01:30:32   my lady friend college is to say her [TS]

01:30:34   advice for most women was take out all [TS]

01:30:36   the makeup that you want to use tonight [TS]

01:30:37   and then put away half of it and you [TS]

01:30:39   look really really good [TS]

01:30:40   most people after their own devices will [TS]

01:30:42   do too much of these things and if it's [TS]

01:30:43   like a one-person own place [TS]

01:30:46   there's a place nearby college I'm [TS]

01:30:48   always using this as an example because [TS]

01:30:49   it's so salient to me he's there was [TS]

01:30:51   this guy who had bought you know you get [TS]

01:30:53   a good place to call your dentist [TS]

01:30:54   offices to pizza hut that kind of thing [TS]

01:30:56   got a place that used to be a chain [TS]

01:30:58   burger place and made it here interested [TS]

01:31:01   well no no this is a guy who made a [TS]

01:31:02   burger place of an old burger place like [TS]

01:31:04   this right now there are a couple [TS]

01:31:05   distinctive things you walk in there and [TS]

01:31:06   first of all the lighting is not that of [TS]

01:31:09   a national chain that he's really really [TS]

01:31:11   not spending a lot on keeping this place [TS]

01:31:13   up to the standard of even mcdonalds [TS]

01:31:15   nothing you notice and you think about [TS]

01:31:17   think about this is like a dream I swear [TS]

01:31:18   to god John imagine walking into a fast [TS]

01:31:20   food place and at the counter there's [TS]

01:31:22   one person working there that person has [TS]

01:31:24   a large console color TV behind the [TS]

01:31:27   counter [TS]

01:31:28   oh and it's little in a reclining chair [TS]

01:31:30   like a lazy boy haha and you walk in [TS]

01:31:33   there now this is all pretty interesting [TS]

01:31:35   but then it gets super interesting [TS]

01:31:36   because every burger every sandwich [TS]

01:31:38   everything that this man-made if you [TS]

01:31:42   just got the standard sandwich standard [TS]

01:31:44   burger he always always always put a [TS]

01:31:46   fried egg on it unless you asked him not [TS]

01:31:48   to and you might seem a little hurt that [TS]

01:31:51   you didn't want to friday he had his own [TS]

01:31:53   fucking restaurant with lazy boy here [TS]

01:31:55   and every sandwich got a fried egg on it [TS]

01:31:58   unless you order otherwise and to me [TS]

01:32:00   that in my head that still always been [TS]

01:32:01   the canonical example of like what can [TS]

01:32:03   go slightly wrong and there's nobody [TS]

01:32:05   else there to tell you how this should [TS]

01:32:06   work [TS]

01:32:06   yeah right he's like look I like a [TS]

01:32:08   friday got everything you know like i [TS]

01:32:10   like because even say you want a fried [TS]

01:32:11   egg on that right like that's my thing [TS]

01:32:13   it's more like no I mean it might as [TS]

01:32:14   well be like he could put like that [TS]

01:32:15   fishing lures or brochures on there it [TS]

01:32:17   is the head is just that's just the [TS]

01:32:19   thing he does well but the you know the [TS]

01:32:21   flip side of that is the people that [TS]

01:32:23   don't know anything [TS]

01:32:24   they're like opening a restaurant i'm [TS]

01:32:26   gonna put a chili burger on the [TS]

01:32:27   restaurant i'm gonna put when somebody [TS]

01:32:29   orders that I'm gonna spread chili on [TS]

01:32:30   the bun like it's a condiment because i [TS]

01:32:34   read about it in restaurant or magazine [TS]

01:32:36   or somebody shows sandwiches as though [TS]

01:32:38   they've never actually eaten a sandwich [TS]

01:32:40   it's the bane of my existence whoo-hoo [TS]

01:32:43   this is the other 1i have a chili burger [TS]

01:32:46   please and then the burger comes and [TS]

01:32:49   it's got lettuce tomato and mayonnaise [TS]

01:32:52   and pickles on it it's like owning like [TS]

01:32:54   company on the side or like children [TS]

01:32:56   like those around chili on the bun till [TS]

01:32:59   the other bun and then all the all this [TS]

01:33:02   other stuff like do they not have chili [TS]

01:33:04   burgers in your town dude named for your [TS]

01:33:06   info my name [TS]

01:33:08   good like it'sit's it's exactly the same [TS]

01:33:10   kind of thing I've this is all part of [TS]

01:33:11   my heuristic now as I can sniff out [TS]

01:33:12   basically I go in there your coffee [TS]

01:33:14   place right [TS]

01:33:15   hmm ok if you're constantly since you [TS]

01:33:17   get real fancy coffee only this Gigi [TS]

01:33:19   breakfast sandwiches you know the [TS]

01:33:21   breakfast sandwich in my neighborhood is [TS]

01:33:23   you know you get your egg and cheese you [TS]

01:33:26   gotta meet and then all of the other [TS]

01:33:28   things that you would put on a lunchtime [TS]

01:33:31   sandwich no lettuce don't know [TS]

01:33:35   so routes when God no-no exactly this is [TS]

01:33:38   like me trying to go out and make [TS]

01:33:40   szechuan where I would have no idea what [TS]

01:33:41   to make because I've eaten it but don't [TS]

01:33:43   have to cook it but like puts that but [TS]

01:33:45   everybody in the neighborhood does it [TS]

01:33:47   you have 10 I don't want tomato on my [TS]

01:33:50   egg sandwich for breakfast sprouts no no [TS]

01:33:54   did you don't make me a ham cheese and [TS]

01:33:56   bologna sandwich with sprouts lettuce [TS]

01:33:58   and mayonnaise like you're making me so [TS]

01:34:00   sad [TS]

01:34:01   yeah yeah I night and I feel like I feel [TS]

01:34:03   like there are people that go into being [TS]

01:34:04   in restaurants because it seems like a [TS]

01:34:07   Jedi like a good job huh [TS]

01:34:10   like I'm gonna start a restaurant [TS]

01:34:11   because it's seems like a thing for a [TS]

01:34:14   person to do [TS]

01:34:16   everybody's gotta eat right instead of [TS]

01:34:19   somebody that's like I've always wanted [TS]

01:34:20   to have a restaurant because I have [TS]

01:34:21   because I have a passion and because [TS]

01:34:25   you've liked been through the business [TS]

01:34:27   of it and like that's when you're we're [TS]

01:34:28   talking about like you know the kind of [TS]

01:34:29   restaurant where you going like this is [TS]

01:34:31   nice but they notice things like they [TS]

01:34:34   noticed that they at they don't ask you [TS]

01:34:35   if you want more water they give you [TS]

01:34:37   more water because no one has never [TS]

01:34:38   nobody has ever not wanted water if you [TS]

01:34:41   drank the water in the glass already [TS]

01:34:44   yeah that you know what here's a 10 you [TS]

01:34:46   have demonstrated that your water [TS]

01:34:48   drinker right not thirsty like I drink [TS]

01:34:52   water [TS]

01:34:53   I have drunk would be one more lettuce [TS]

01:34:55   on your except which I here's my idea [TS]

01:34:58   for a restaurant and I feel like I feel [TS]

01:35:00   like I got one for you too my what my [TS]

01:35:01   daughter and I invented once we can't [TS]

01:35:02   let me hear yours [TS]

01:35:03   alright here's my idea it would be like [TS]

01:35:05   the soup guy in the Seinfeld show okay [TS]

01:35:07   except it would have three big like like [TS]

01:35:13   foodservice sized giant cooking pots [TS]

01:35:18   uh-huh right behind a very it's a very [TS]

01:35:21   small restaurant to stop just a railroad [TS]

01:35:24   sighs restaurant three big pots one has [TS]

01:35:27   macaroni and cheese in it one has chili [TS]

01:35:29   in it one has stew in it [TS]

01:35:30   oh my they get they never change [TS]

01:35:34   it's the three pots stew chili mac and [TS]

01:35:37   cheese and you decide you can obviously [TS]

01:35:40   the second thing is you can get a big [TS]

01:35:42   bunch of it to go first thing is how [TS]

01:35:44   many items it's like going to panda [TS]

01:35:45   express how to do one two or three items [TS]

01:35:47   that's right one two or three and that's [TS]

01:35:50   it that's it every day every day it's [TS]

01:35:54   just like if you don't want macaroni and [TS]

01:35:55   cheese toward chili go to a different [TS]

01:35:57   restaurant but if you want any one of [TS]

01:35:59   those things or all three of those [TS]

01:36:00   things here we are and for five bucks [TS]

01:36:03   you get a thing of one of those things [TS]

01:36:06   oh my god I would so I would be there so [TS]

01:36:08   much here like here's here's ours by the [TS]

01:36:10   big this is based on the way that my [TS]

01:36:12   daughter and I increasingly eat pizza [TS]

01:36:13   its new its new restaurant called [TS]

01:36:15   toppers we go in there and we give you [TS]

01:36:18   melted cheese with toppings on it but no [TS]

01:36:20   pizza when you love to be able to go and [TS]

01:36:23   enjoy pizza without me having to eat [TS]

01:36:24   fucking pizza just have the top of its [TS]

01:36:26   just like that place that are I guess [TS]

01:36:28   it's another seinfeld episode about the [TS]

01:36:30   about the muffin top of the muffin tops [TS]

01:36:32   yeah yeah I find other ideas I've had [TS]

01:36:33   other ideas for places that are just [TS]

01:36:36   gravy's it's just gravies and sauces and [TS]

01:36:38   things to put it on [TS]

01:36:39   that's when you and I retire which we [TS]

01:36:41   can of course never afford to do but if [TS]

01:36:43   we do you know what this would be a [TS]

01:36:44   chance for our listeners to support us [TS]

01:36:45   help us start the restaurant chain great [TS]

01:36:49   gravy mix Austin's hauling job and it [TS]

01:36:53   and it'll be we'll have like it will be [TS]

01:36:55   like Bartles and Jaymes [TS]

01:36:57   oh yeah yeah we'll be in the commercial [TS]

01:36:58   but we need a queen a cool name maybe [TS]

01:37:00   cover band got its got to have a name [TS]

01:37:03   that incorporates the sauce idea you [TS]

01:37:05   don't think you just cooperate you cover [TS]

01:37:06   me or just call it fxmike gravy's I like [TS]

01:37:11   JJ as a as like that JJ grey diamond [TS]

01:37:14   Oh JJ McRaven all you like JJ because he [TS]

01:37:17   did that incomprehensible television [TS]

01:37:18   show that no one should ever watch TV [TS]

01:37:20   arms [TS]

01:37:21   yeah JJ Abrams Jamie no plot no general [TS]

01:37:27   rooms is the one with this all the [TS]

01:37:29   spaceship you made a Star Wars and then [TS]

01:37:31   you get JJ arms who was the private [TS]

01:37:32   detective that hooks France now Johnny [TS]

01:37:35   arms if JJ arms could come in and be the [TS]

01:37:37   spokesperson for Christmas [TS]

01:37:39   haha determine gravy's changing [TS]

01:37:43   McGrady's its lucky JJ carms I was the [TS]

01:37:47   television show where there was a ghost [TS]

01:37:49   monster and people were in and out of [TS]

01:37:51   least it's called house man it's about [TS]

01:37:54   big house sorority boy it's called it's [TS]

01:37:56   called the ghost house where ghosts [TS]

01:37:59   ghosts and we'll know it was a ghost [TS]

01:38:01   airplane that crashed onto an island [TS]

01:38:03   that was lost or lost how I think about [TS]

01:38:06   is one after that dollhouse is what i [TS]

01:38:08   was thinking i was a lot of notice my [TS]

01:38:10   thinking about going to joss whedon just [TS]

01:38:11   hold on JJ abrams made alias changing [TS]

01:38:14   abrams made lost and I think JJ abrams [TS]

01:38:16   made my so-called life [TS]

01:38:18   oh i get it that way just said JJ abrams [TS]

01:38:20   made lost what did I say [TS]

01:38:22   ugh just we didn't make that all know [TS]

01:38:25   Joss Whedon didn't make lost [TS]

01:38:26   no I think just being JJ Abrams i think [TS]

01:38:28   let's see here what I see I keep seeing [TS]

01:38:31   joss whedon at like comic-con and [TS]

01:38:33   standing on it will Whedon a will we we [TS]

01:38:37   didn't know will we didn't we started [TS]

01:38:43   talking about morris dancing know that [TS]

01:38:45   is next time [TS]