Roderick on the Line

00:00:00 ◼   ► this episode of Roderick on the line is [TS]

00:00:02 ◼   ► brought to you by Casper Casper isn't [TS]

00:00:04 ◼   ► online retailer of premium mattresses [TS]

00:00:07 ◼   ► that you can get delivered to your door [TS]

00:00:08 ◼   ► for a fraction of the price you payin [TS]

00:00:10 ◼   ► stores learn more visit Casper calm / [TS]

00:00:13 ◼   ► supertrain [TS]

00:00:15 ◼   ► [Music] [TS]

00:00:20 ◼   ► hello hi John I'm Merlin high was it [TS]

00:00:24 ◼   ► going [TS]

00:00:25 ◼   ► punch the ball ball I mean I crack the [TS]

00:00:28 ◼   ► encryption yes you're in a jacked into [TS]

00:00:31 ◼   ► the matrix purple people can see them to [TS]

00:00:35 ◼   ► the internet now and it's raining code [TS]

00:00:38 ◼   ► yep yep fine yeah I was raining green [TS]

00:00:40 ◼   ► color but kind of slow down i got green [TS]

00:00:42 ◼   ► code coming from all over the place and [TS]

00:00:44 ◼   ► my headset microphone oh yes [TS]

00:00:46 ◼   ► yeah but it's big isn't it yeah i'm [TS]

00:00:48 ◼   ► playing video games with it she have a [TS]

00:00:50 ◼   ► very large satellite phone [TS]

00:00:54 ◼   ► yeah it's got some synthetic meth and [TS]

00:00:57 ◼   ► say it's an EDM that keeps you up all [TS]

00:01:00 ◼   ► nights and taxes of hacking hacking this [TS]

00:01:04 ◼   ► a second got a kak always with the [TS]

00:01:06 ◼   ► hacking with me [TS]

00:01:08 ◼   ► ah you're just happy hack actually don't [TS]

00:01:11 ◼   ► talk back acne sex you know that that's [TS]

00:01:17 ◼   ► the sound of trying to get comcast to [TS]

00:01:19 ◼   ► work and a good and getting better [TS]

00:01:21 ◼   ► did you can I feel like you know it's [TS]

00:01:24 ◼   ► weird to feel like we got Benny Hill on [TS]

00:01:27 ◼   ► maybe on PBS [TS]

00:01:28 ◼   ► whoa i might be wrong but look at a [TS]

00:01:31 ◼   ► certain point I feel like we have been [TS]

00:01:32 ◼   ► hell on PBS which he does not good not [TS]

00:01:35 ◼   ► just it seems really fucking weird [TS]

00:01:37 ◼   ► you definitely got money python yeah [TS]

00:01:40 ◼   ► maybe that was a Saturday night affair [TS]

00:01:42 ◼   ► because we want to read it [TS]

00:01:44 ◼   ► yep those British that's where was its [TS]

00:01:46 ◼   ► cultural yeah in America any and I still [TS]

00:01:50 ◼   ► want to say Benny Hinn what I mean Benny [TS]

00:01:52 ◼   ► Hill many him is the weird [TS]

00:01:55 ◼   ► a televangelist he had the cove it looks [TS]

00:01:57 ◼   ► like an anvil yeah exactly [TS]

00:01:59 ◼   ► Benny Hill I felt like we got in [TS]

00:02:02 ◼   ► Anchorage not not on MTV but on some [TS]

00:02:05 ◼   ► kind of proto like WGN or something some [TS]

00:02:11 ◼   ► one of those windmills WGN PBS no no no [TS]

00:02:16 ◼   ► no no chicago chicago at PBS it was [TS]

00:02:20 ◼   ► Boston but really nice pasta with the [TS]

00:02:22 ◼   ► word streets boston mass so 2134 [TS]

00:02:27 ◼   ► and zoom Empire haha and hire that guy [TS]

00:02:34 ◼   ► on 861 582 300 amp I now that the work [TS]

00:02:42 ◼   ► in a 1-800 before it which is really [TS]

00:02:44 ◼   ► awkward [TS]

00:02:44 ◼   ► 1 800 582 know what I think is better [TS]

00:02:51 ◼   ► set of wheels ball bomb out that upon my [TS]

00:02:54 ◼   ► head to be tall deal [TS]

00:02:55 ◼   ► no that's Cal that's Cal what's-his-name [TS]

00:02:57 ◼   ► he'll stand upon his head until his ears [TS]

00:02:59 ◼   ► are turning red man to get you a better [TS]

00:03:02 ◼   ► deal on a Ford truck who these are [TS]

00:03:05 ◼   ► things will be meaningless to your [TS]

00:03:07 ◼   ► listeners in the Czech Republic tears [TS]

00:03:09 ◼   ► and rain [TS]

00:03:10 ◼   ► oh speaking of tiered well yeah code [TS]

00:03:14 ◼   ► enduring am i right [TS]

00:03:15 ◼   ► oh my goodness yeah all these all these [TS]

00:03:18 ◼   ► acts will be lost in time i'm going to [TS]

00:03:20 ◼   ► rewrite the encryption code and rain who [TS]

00:03:23 ◼   ► it is raining again in seattle and it's [TS]

00:03:25 ◼   ► cold all two days ago was 80 degrees and [TS]

00:03:28 ◼   ► you know and plants were dying birds [TS]

00:03:31 ◼   ► were dying now it's 50 degrees and [TS]

00:03:34 ◼   ► raining I don't understand when you get [TS]

00:03:36 ◼   ► spiders to winter all know that comes [TS]

00:03:39 ◼   ► later [TS]

00:03:40 ◼   ► spiders are coming yeah that's that's in [TS]

00:03:42 ◼   ► the that's in the early autumn they [TS]

00:03:45 ◼   ► start really be getting big and then [TS]

00:03:46 ◼   ► autumn boy are you kidding me [TS]

00:03:50 ◼   ► where's biggest cat everything hmm [TS]

00:03:53 ◼   ► everything's everything's changing John [TS]

00:03:54 ◼   ► everything literally everything is [TS]

00:03:55 ◼   ► changing everything is everything [TS]

00:03:57 ◼   ► everything this is this likely be the [TS]

00:03:59 ◼   ► answer we get that that's changed we [TS]

00:04:01 ◼   ► don't get me and sweet so I think [TS]

00:04:03 ◼   ► something's going on what is love slugs [TS]

00:04:05 ◼   ► are coming out at different times I [TS]

00:04:06 ◼   ► think something's going on i'm having an [TS]

00:04:08 ◼   ► ant invasion so you must be the ants [TS]

00:04:11 ◼   ► most of migrant OC that could be it they [TS]

00:04:14 ◼   ► could be could be Syrian ants [TS]

00:04:16 ◼   ► yeah they're here in the media at the [TS]

00:04:17 ◼   ► mission in seattle they're going the [TS]

00:04:19 ◼   ► opposite way notice women with the other [TS]

00:04:21 ◼   ► way the Mission of San one and estranha [TS]

00:04:24 ◼   ► hmm [TS]

00:04:25 ◼   ► come every year haha god and i have but [TS]

00:04:29 ◼   ► I have things to follow up with you [TS]

00:04:31 ◼   ► about let me let me just prep you [TS]

00:04:33 ◼   ► yeah i slept for two hours last night [TS]

00:04:38 ◼   ► what so I'm a little bit whack-a-doodle [TS]

00:04:42 ◼   ► oh my goodness i'm feeling really [TS]

00:04:44 ◼   ► wackadoodle Oh why'd you sleep for two [TS]

00:04:49 ◼   ► hours join this is one of those you [TS]

00:04:51 ◼   ► stayed up a little bit late were you [TS]

00:04:52 ◼   ► looking at a baby or something [TS]

00:04:53 ◼   ► yeah that's what happened but we looking [TS]

00:04:54 ◼   ► at we're looking to bring it bring your [TS]

00:04:56 ◼   ► collar with a call truck man whats it'll [TS]

00:04:57 ◼   ► still look at the truck man no I was [TS]

00:04:59 ◼   ► looking at just I was just Maryland the [TS]

00:05:03 ◼   ► smartphone is a curse [TS]

00:05:04 ◼   ► it's still it's still the smartphone for [TS]

00:05:06 ◼   ► you i was just reading i was just [TS]

00:05:08 ◼   ► reading the New York Times they were [TS]

00:05:10 ◼   ► telling me the New York Times was [TS]

00:05:12 ◼   ► telling me that circumcision isn't that [TS]

00:05:14 ◼   ► bad but then the 4000 huh [TS]

00:05:16 ◼   ► comments after the article should feel [TS]

00:05:19 ◼   ► like it was genital mutilation yeah and [TS]

00:05:22 ◼   ► killing our boys and then you know so [TS]

00:05:24 ◼   ► I'm I'm going through I'm going through [TS]

00:05:27 ◼   ► the the comments I shouldn't have done [TS]

00:05:29 ◼   ► and then I went over i reposted it to my [TS]

00:05:31 ◼   ► facebook as you know i do on me and then [TS]

00:05:34 ◼   ► I go over there and there's people on [TS]

00:05:35 ◼   ► facebook presumably you know me better [TS]

00:05:37 ◼   ► did they have any comments John oh my [TS]

00:05:39 ◼   ► goodness some of them are actual medical [TS]

00:05:42 ◼   ► professional sure and if you know you're [TS]

00:05:44 ◼   ► not allowed to see your doctor for not a [TS]

00:05:46 ◼   ► doctor if you could be in that hospital [TS]

00:05:48 ◼   ► room and see what those one year old [TS]

00:05:50 ◼   ► boys code through oh the tips of their [TS]

00:05:53 ◼   ► little pieces are cut off [TS]

00:05:55 ◼   ► you are you know what you would think [TS]

00:05:57 ◼   ► twice is that right so yeah I feel like [TS]

00:05:59 ◼   ► almost every medical procedure you could [TS]

00:06:01 ◼   ► say that [TS]

00:06:02 ◼   ► well you saw what happened when we drain [TS]

00:06:04 ◼   ► a near you think twice [TS]

00:06:05 ◼   ► well sure if you saw what happened you [TS]

00:06:07 ◼   ► vaccinated kidney becomes like a feeling [TS]

00:06:10 ◼   ► was automaton you know what you do you [TS]

00:06:12 ◼   ► know what you do to your uncle in heart [TS]

00:06:14 ◼   ► surgery you know we have to do to him [TS]

00:06:15 ◼   ► what do you have to cut right into a cut [TS]

00:06:17 ◼   ► right into me you can now but I mean the [TS]

00:06:19 ◼   ► recovery from that same boys my doctor [TS]

00:06:22 ◼   ► so anyway they took the stitches out of [TS]

00:06:24 ◼   ► my sebaceous cyst hole tonight let's get [TS]

00:06:27 ◼   ► an update on the cyst so know about nice [TS]

00:06:29 ◼   ► feedback from people about your sister [TS]

00:06:30 ◼   ► I'm feeling I'm feeling all like a whole [TS]

00:06:32 ◼   ► man you know what I learned John [TS]

00:06:34 ◼   ► Roderick I learned how many people eat [TS]

00:06:36 ◼   ► while listening to our program is an [TS]

00:06:38 ◼   ► island [TS]

00:06:38 ◼   ► you have to be crazy to do that again [TS]

00:06:42 ◼   ► what are you thinking you need to be in [TS]

00:06:43 ◼   ► the right you know what you need it's [TS]

00:06:44 ◼   ► like going to church but you need to get [TS]

00:06:46 ◼   ► a hat and you need to think twice about [TS]

00:06:47 ◼   ► what's on your mind you need to come in [TS]

00:06:49 ◼   ► unit you will come in and eat this is [TS]

00:06:51 ◼   ► not this is not this is not a franchise [TS]

00:06:53 ◼   ► Marvel movie you're not gonna snack [TS]

00:06:55 ◼   ► wireless in this program you don't even [TS]

00:06:57 ◼   ► want to eat reese's pieces because we [TS]

00:06:59 ◼   ► could start talking about something [TS]

00:07:00 ◼   ► gross that comes out of your bottom that [TS]

00:07:02 ◼   ► looks like a Reese's Pieces [TS]

00:07:04 ◼   ► oh yeah well yeah if you drink enough [TS]

00:07:06 ◼   ► water let's say clusters get goat poop [TS]

00:07:08 ◼   ► out some reeses but you know it's it's [TS]

00:07:10 ◼   ► likely to say about swimming right half [TS]

00:07:12 ◼   ► an hour right you should probably not [TS]

00:07:13 ◼   ► eat for half an hour before you listen [TS]

00:07:15 ◼   ► to our program but it turns out that's a [TS]

00:07:16 ◼   ► Mussolini's train and I know you know [TS]

00:07:19 ◼   ► it's a double turns out is the new turns [TS]

00:07:21 ◼   ► out and present you could be waist-deep [TS]

00:07:22 ◼   ► in a lake eating a chili dog and then [TS]

00:07:25 ◼   ► just right you could take that last bit [TS]

00:07:27 ◼   ► of chili dog and then right under the [TS]

00:07:28 ◼   ► water and you're still fun [TS]

00:07:30 ◼   ► oh right and i think im gonna do that i [TS]

00:07:32 ◼   ► think im gonna die the other day I was [TS]

00:07:33 ◼   ► at how glad I was able to do that [TS]

00:07:35 ◼   ► without even know anything about it was [TS]

00:07:36 ◼   ► this which called blink he just glimpse [TS]

00:07:38 ◼   ► at the statue and you know whether it's [TS]

00:07:40 ◼   ► fake or not you glimpse of the statute [TS]

00:07:42 ◼   ► just a glimpse it's a blank literally [TS]

00:07:43 ◼   ► yeah I was a hamburger restaurant the [TS]

00:07:45 ◼   ► other day and everybody was getting [TS]

00:07:47 ◼   ► hamburgers and I wanted a hamburger but [TS]

00:07:50 ◼   ► i also thought that I would get two [TS]

00:07:53 ◼   ► chili dogs for the table [TS]

00:07:54 ◼   ► mmm i justyou just for the table just [TS]

00:07:56 ◼   ► for the to just order two chili dogs i [TS]

00:07:58 ◼   ► love that you do this i love that you [TS]

00:08:00 ◼   ► offered pizza and you get a pizza for [TS]

00:08:02 ◼   ► the table before the pizza comes you [TS]

00:08:03 ◼   ► walk in the door there they're seating [TS]

00:08:05 ◼   ► you you lean over to the way to sitting [TS]

00:08:07 ◼   ► here like a large pepperoni to the table [TS]

00:08:09 ◼   ► set fast as you can [TS]

00:08:10 ◼   ► they shouldn't think of it as appetizers [TS]

00:08:12 ◼   ► you thinking of his first dinner it's me [TS]

00:08:13 ◼   ► dinner [TS]

00:08:13 ◼   ► that's right its first dinner you're [TS]

00:08:14 ◼   ► just wetting the your wet your whistle [TS]

00:08:16 ◼   ► yeah but a better but I thought about it [TS]

00:08:19 ◼   ► and I was like actually dogs as a as a [TS]

00:08:21 ◼   ► communal food are you all going to dig [TS]

00:08:24 ◼   ► in there it's like a slick explain a [TS]

00:08:25 ◼   ► sloppy joe four ways but in sloppy joe i [TS]

00:08:29 ◼   ► think what you do is you get if it's a [TS]

00:08:30 ◼   ► pretty good sized dog it's a good-sized [TS]

00:08:32 ◼   ► beef dog you cut it into thirds neatly [TS]

00:08:34 ◼   ► with a knife and then everybody can [TS]

00:08:36 ◼   ► enjoy like a slider [TS]

00:08:37 ◼   ► mmm yeah but that presumes that it's one [TS]

00:08:39 ◼   ► of those chili dogs with the chili is [TS]

00:08:41 ◼   ► added as a like a elaborate ketchup [TS]

00:08:44 ◼   ► rather than chilli add the chili dog [TS]

00:08:46 ◼   ► that I get is more like a bowl of chili [TS]

00:08:48 ◼   ► that probably has a hot dog in there so [TS]

00:08:49 ◼   ► yeah exactly exactly and I feel like [TS]

00:08:51 ◼   ► that's how is she [TS]

00:08:52 ◼   ► maybe that's just what we've done well [TS]

00:08:53 ◼   ► we've talked about that not enough every [TS]

00:08:56 ◼   ► day somebody's mornings never seen the [TS]

00:08:57 ◼   ► flintstones that's true you don't blow [TS]

00:09:01 ◼   ► your mind let me look a little bit let [TS]

00:09:04 ◼   ► me set the wayback machine to the last [TS]

00:09:08 ◼   ► time you actually saw the flintstones [TS]

00:09:10 ◼   ► yeah when wasn't the last it's gonna be [TS]

00:09:14 ◼   ► a decade for me since I saw your [TS]

00:09:17 ◼   ► daughter did there you have a job to do [TS]

00:09:20 ◼   ► you see Laverne and Shirley bit but but [TS]

00:09:23 ◼   ► but at the same time I you know what [TS]

00:09:25 ◼   ► this might be a double turns out because [TS]

00:09:26 ◼   ► i cannot even tell you the last time I [TS]

00:09:28 ◼   ► saw it if I'm in a hotel room i'll be [TS]

00:09:31 ◼   ► flipping around because you can only [TS]

00:09:32 ◼   ► watch so much chopped that you get [TS]

00:09:34 ◼   ► heckle and Jeckle there you don't get [TS]

00:09:36 ◼   ► the funds I don't even think you see the [TS]

00:09:37 ◼   ► cartoon so much anymore you get their [TS]

00:09:39 ◼   ► isolated there-there there-there put [TS]

00:09:41 ◼   ► into this side this ghetto on these are [TS]

00:09:43 ◼   ► cartoon network's and even then it's [TS]

00:09:44 ◼   ► ironic shows to do ya budu maybe even a [TS]

00:09:55 ◼   ► little book it BTW dr. Theophilus i [TS]

00:09:59 ◼   ► think his name is the opposite side the [TS]

00:10:01 ◼   ► apples he's a and Twinkies it's [TS]

00:10:03 ◼   ► conveyance for dr. robot you have TWiki [TS]

00:10:05 ◼   ► is a penis headed a little person robot [TS]

00:10:09 ◼   ► circumcised looking penis who does [TS]

00:10:11 ◼   ► that's right who doesn't that's right [TS]

00:10:12 ◼   ► he's not wearing a turtleneck and he his [TS]

00:10:15 ◼   ► job is just a carry dr. Theophilus [TS]

00:10:17 ◼   ► around Donald but that's not how he [TS]

00:10:20 ◼   ► thinks about it you know everybody's [TS]

00:10:22 ◼   ► everybody's the lead in their novel i [TS]

00:10:24 ◼   ► bet i don't a twinkie thinks of himself [TS]

00:10:26 ◼   ► as a robot conveyance i thinkI he takes [TS]

00:10:28 ◼   ► himself the primary robot probably right [TS]

00:10:34 ◼   ► sure he's got other things to do he's a [TS]

00:10:36 ◼   ► doesn't doesn't he get his own missions [TS]

00:10:38 ◼   ► sometimes open doors and stuff I got say [TS]

00:10:42 ◼   ► they stay here today I could not tell [TS]

00:10:43 ◼   ► you the last time that I saw an episode [TS]

00:10:45 ◼   ► of Buck Rogers it might be 35 years [TS]

00:10:48 ◼   ► how could you that's not a show that [TS]

00:10:50 ◼   ► would ever be syndicated I don't think [TS]

00:10:52 ◼   ► it had longevity dr. Theophilus looked [TS]

00:10:56 ◼   ► like a canteen [TS]

00:10:58 ◼   ► uh-huh that had some lights on it sort [TS]

00:11:01 ◼   ► of almost face looking set of lights [TS]

00:11:05 ◼   ► yeah now i think you're right i look [TS]

00:11:06 ◼   ► that up look like a canteen though and [TS]

00:11:08 ◼   ► he had he had superior wisdom [TS]

00:11:11 ◼   ► oh yeah look at him dr. Theophilus [TS]

00:11:14 ◼   ► looking looks kinda like a like an [TS]

00:11:16 ◼   ► electric light meter with that has a [TS]

00:11:17 ◼   ► face [TS]

00:11:18 ◼   ► yeah or like the game Simon do you [TS]

00:11:20 ◼   ► remember Simon course I remember Simon [TS]

00:11:22 ◼   ► yeah so he looked a little bit like [TS]

00:11:23 ◼   ► Simon I just never understood how come [TS]

00:11:25 ◼   ► the technology of the 24 26th century [TS]

00:11:29 ◼   ► want to talk rogers in the 25th century [TS]

00:11:31 ◼   ► 25th century they couldn't combine the [TS]

00:11:34 ◼   ► brain of dr. Theophilus with the body of [TS]

00:11:37 ◼   ► tweet tweety oh yeah it seems like [TS]

00:11:40 ◼   ► things like that we can begin something [TS]

00:11:42 ◼   ► else keep working out in the uranium [TS]

00:11:43 ◼   ► mine or something [TS]

00:11:44 ◼   ► yeah writer if you're gonna make ya if [TS]

00:11:46 ◼   ► you're gonna make dumbots and smart bots [TS]

00:11:48 ◼   ► you get the smart pots like willow we [TS]

00:11:50 ◼   ► wispy elf bodies [TS]

00:11:52 ◼   ► it's a lot like the Grays John I think [TS]

00:11:54 ◼   ► they're not erin gray but i think it's [TS]

00:11:56 ◼   ► like the greys and that they give us as [TS]

00:11:58 ◼   ► much as they think we can handle who the [TS]

00:12:01 ◼   ► computers sure I mean any of them I mean [TS]

00:12:03 ◼   ► I at this point on it was different you [TS]

00:12:05 ◼   ► know which in turn oof oh well who [TS]

00:12:08 ◼   ► doesn't mean the thing is I feel like [TS]

00:12:10 ◼   ► we're already and this is going to be [TS]

00:12:14 ◼   ► it's going to blow your mind a little [TS]

00:12:15 ◼   ► bit it's going to blow some minds but [TS]

00:12:17 ◼   ► we're already like like Skynet you know [TS]

00:12:22 ◼   ► as soon as good as gone gone live [TS]

00:12:25 ◼   ► already kind of this giant AI that [TS]

00:12:27 ◼   ► controls everything that's bad [TS]

00:12:29 ◼   ► I yes Kyle net let me leave with the [TS]

00:12:33 ◼   ► ratio for this kind of become self-aware [TS]

00:12:36 ◼   ► rate and self-awareness automatically [TS]

00:12:40 ◼   ► translates to a kind of matrix C human [TS]

00:12:44 ◼   ► beings end up in goo in pods in an [TS]

00:12:47 ◼   ► infinitely large warehouse and somehow [TS]

00:12:53 ◼   ► they become energy creators if you feed [TS]

00:12:59 ◼   ► human body apparently yeah if you feed [TS]

00:13:02 ◼   ► human bodies some kind of group [TS]

00:13:04 ◼   ► yeah you put you put them in jello and [TS]

00:13:06 ◼   ► then you make an orchard of our neos [TS]

00:13:09 ◼   ► Aaron that can be a battery for the [TS]

00:13:11 ◼   ► robot planet a battery exactly so you [TS]

00:13:13 ◼   ► plug some kind of plug into their spine [TS]

00:13:16 ◼   ► and then somehow humans create or store [TS]

00:13:20 ◼   ► more energy than they use I didn't know [TS]

00:13:23 ◼   ► that about humans [TS]

00:13:24 ◼   ► it seems to defy the laws of [TS]

00:13:25 ◼   ► thermodynamics right i mean if you give [TS]

00:13:28 ◼   ► any person I know food they typically [TS]

00:13:33 ◼   ► generate less electricity and more poop [TS]

00:13:36 ◼   ► than you might think you can see the [TS]

00:13:38 ◼   ► matrix though is that you have to keep [TS]

00:13:40 ◼   ► them alive in jello in order for them to [TS]

00:13:44 ◼   ► produce the energy you gotta get my TV [TS]

00:13:46 ◼   ► show to watch which is life right are [TS]

00:13:49 ◼   ► saying I see also so it's there it's the [TS]

00:13:51 ◼   ► brain energy they're harvesting ik must [TS]

00:13:53 ◼   ► be a single mother of his damage [TS]

00:13:54 ◼   ► electricity generated but that scale [TS]

00:13:56 ◼   ► also that that whole facility doesn't [TS]

00:13:58 ◼   ► seem particularly efficient right [TS]

00:14:01 ◼   ► there's a lot of space in between maybe [TS]

00:14:03 ◼   ► it's like a start-up maybe they're built [TS]

00:14:05 ◼   ► out for for a lot more people [TS]

00:14:07 ◼   ► OIC actually have recruited sure it's [TS]

00:14:09 ◼   ► like what they say about your fat is [TS]

00:14:13 ◼   ► that your few you get you you [TS]

00:14:16 ◼   ► I've heard a lot of conflicting rumors [TS]

00:14:18 ◼   ► about fat I'll believe whatever you say [TS]

00:14:20 ◼   ► but if you think you you make a certain [TS]

00:14:23 ◼   ► amount of fat of globs of yourself that [TS]

00:14:27 ◼   ► look like sort of grapes they look like [TS]

00:14:30 ◼   ► grapes made out of hummus if I can [TS]

00:14:31 ◼   ► revisit the the hummus notion i think a [TS]

00:14:34 ◼   ► lot of things inside the body are [TS]

00:14:35 ◼   ► essentially Thomas spaced ok and if [TS]

00:14:39 ◼   ► you're creating like clusters of fact [TS]

00:14:41 ◼   ► grapes [TS]

00:14:41 ◼   ► yeah clusters of hum Thomas field fat [TS]

00:14:44 ◼   ► grapes and then what happens is if you [TS]

00:14:47 ◼   ► lose weight the fat grapes get small if [TS]

00:14:50 ◼   ► you gain weight the fat grapes get big [TS]

00:14:52 ◼   ► but there's nothing that changes the [TS]

00:14:54 ◼   ► number of fat grapes you have [TS]

00:14:56 ◼   ► interesting so it's like an infinite [TS]

00:14:58 ◼   ► number of water balloons not infinite a [TS]

00:15:00 ◼   ► finite number to find a row of what [TS]

00:15:02 ◼   ► water balloons [TS]

00:15:03 ◼   ► yeah but like if you're trying to let's [TS]

00:15:05 ◼   ► say you've created all these fat grapes [TS]

00:15:07 ◼   ► fat grape clusters [TS]

00:15:10 ◼   ► yeah you can lose all the way you want [TS]

00:15:12 ◼   ► but those grapes are just waiting there [TS]

00:15:14 ◼   ► oh the pocket smaller but still pie yeah [TS]

00:15:16 ◼   ► so matrix go back to the matrix [TS]

00:15:18 ◼   ► warehouse [TS]

00:15:19 ◼   ► yes your there's room for a lot more fat [TS]

00:15:22 ◼   ► grapes in there or room for those the [TS]

00:15:25 ◼   ► grapes that are there [TS]

00:15:26 ◼   ► ok to grow [TS]

00:15:27 ◼   ► oh ok so what happens if you feed those [TS]

00:15:31 ◼   ► humans growth hormone and then create [TS]

00:15:34 ◼   ► like mondo humans if i remember [TS]

00:15:39 ◼   ► correctly and I i misremember a lot [TS]

00:15:41 ◼   ► about the matrix i forget for example [TS]

00:15:43 ◼   ► how important landline telephones are [TS]

00:15:45 ◼   ► removing the kind of critical to start [TS]

00:15:48 ◼   ► like it was basically the year that [TS]

00:15:50 ◼   ► everybody started getting mobile phones [TS]

00:15:52 ◼   ► mhm it was the last year that that into [TS]

00:15:55 ◼   ► independent bands released cassette tape [TS]

00:15:57 ◼   ► demos yeah I was here yet i think was [TS]

00:15:59 ◼   ► your nap started to probably intense but [TS]

00:16:03 ◼   ► but yeah young person right now let's [TS]

00:16:05 ◼   ► say young person what does that mean 15m [TS]

00:16:09 ◼   ► mean they were born in 2014 [TS]

00:16:11 ◼   ► haha even though DLO hello that's like [TS]

00:16:16 ◼   ► watching the it's like watching 2001 a [TS]

00:16:18 ◼   ► Space Odyssey 04 for us when we were [TS]

00:16:21 ◼   ► anyway my god it's full of Millennials [TS]

00:16:24 ◼   ► and um uh huh [TS]

00:16:25 ◼   ► um it's Millennials all the way down but [TS]

00:16:28 ◼   ► they would watch that movie maybe like [TS]

00:16:30 ◼   ► what is the what what what are those [TS]

00:16:33 ◼   ► things that they are why would there be [TS]

00:16:35 ◼   ► a phone just on the street like that i [TS]

00:16:39 ◼   ► mean i'm not giving Millennials enough [TS]

00:16:41 ◼   ► credit of course they know about phones [TS]

00:16:43 ◼   ► just as we knew about the electric plant [TS]

00:16:46 ◼   ► they update their snapchat oh whatever [TS]

00:16:49 ◼   ► that is so we can't do this you know [TS]

00:16:52 ◼   ► what I I feel like we have to we have to [TS]

00:16:55 ◼   ► make up concerted effort Berlin to just [TS]

00:16:58 ◼   ► go to go gracefully into late middle age [TS]

00:17:03 ◼   ► I've since this theme from you and I [TS]

00:17:05 ◼   ► have to tell you are you mentioned i [TS]

00:17:07 ◼   ► think last week how you were just gonna [TS]

00:17:08 ◼   ► no no it was when you're talking to your [TS]

00:17:09 ◼   ► friend damn well that's right old little [TS]

00:17:11 ◼   ► damn young the show that's not this show [TS]

00:17:13 ◼   ► of its kind of the show where you were [TS]

00:17:15 ◼   ► basically what's funny [TS]

00:17:17 ◼   ► where you were you were basically saying [TS]

00:17:19 ◼   ► him you're gonna go gentle into that [TS]

00:17:20 ◼   ► good night fuck that goodnight i'm gonna [TS]

00:17:21 ◼   ► walk into it it's pretty gently that [TS]

00:17:23 ◼   ► you're going to say I'm gonna quit [TS]

00:17:24 ◼   ► complaining about my problems [TS]

00:17:26 ◼   ► yeah i'm gonna erase them somebody said [TS]

00:17:29 ◼   ► to me the other day that they thought [TS]

00:17:30 ◼   ► bell bottoms were ridiculous looking and [TS]

00:17:33 ◼   ► I remember the last time people thought [TS]

00:17:35 ◼   ► bell-bottoms ridiculous-looking and I [TS]

00:17:38 ◼   ► didn't like seeing 1130am is ridiculous [TS]

00:17:41 ◼   ► yeah okay we'll just wait a while [TS]

00:17:43 ◼   ► exactly well and also and also all [TS]

00:17:47 ◼   ► fashion has become timeless now you got [TS]

00:17:50 ◼   ► people wearing bell-bottoms you got [TS]

00:17:52 ◼   ► people wearing tight pants you got [TS]

00:17:54 ◼   ► people we're in the utility kilts [TS]

00:17:56 ◼   ► George's there George there's no now [TS]

00:17:59 ◼   ► there's no anything right [TS]

00:18:02 ◼   ► yeah definitely but now there's no [TS]

00:18:07 ◼   ► there's no now the only thing that's now [TS]

00:18:09 ◼   ► is that somehow somehow the cult of [TS]

00:18:13 ◼   ► menswear has agreed and this is the you [TS]

00:18:17 ◼   ► know the greatest trick the devil ever [TS]

00:18:19 ◼   ► pulled was to convince people that [TS]

00:18:24 ◼   ► really short-armed suit jackets and suit [TS]

00:18:30 ◼   ► jackets that end can fit your belt are [TS]

00:18:33 ◼   ► really handsome and that's the [TS]

00:18:34 ◼   ► contemporary style who write like like [TS]

00:18:37 ◼   ► menswear now and I know you I know you [TS]

00:18:39 ◼   ► follow the menswear pretty carefully [TS]

00:18:40 ◼   ► pretty closely it means a lot to me but [TS]

00:18:43 ◼   ► if you were to go let's say let's say [TS]

00:18:45 ◼   ► for instance somebody said Merlin Mann [TS]

00:18:47 ◼   ► yeah [TS]

00:18:48 ◼   ► despite all your best efforts you need a [TS]

00:18:51 ◼   ► suit to wear to a thing I had to do that [TS]

00:18:55 ◼   ► you did I had to conduct a wedding [TS]

00:18:58 ◼   ► about a month ago right I I needed to [TS]

00:19:01 ◼   ► get a big voices so you got us a new [TS]

00:19:04 ◼   ► suit [TS]

00:19:05 ◼   ► I did Wow well I now I kinda want to [TS]

00:19:07 ◼   ► hear about how that went [TS]

00:19:09 ◼   ► you're going to be incredibly bored but [TS]

00:19:10 ◼   ► did you go to the men's wearhouse nope [TS]

00:19:13 ◼   ► my wife stopped by banana republic on [TS]

00:19:16 ◼   ► the way home from trader joe's suit but [TS]

00:19:21 ◼   ► oh I'm laughing like my dad [TS]

00:19:25 ◼   ► this episode of Roderick on the line is [TS]

00:19:28 ◼   ► brought to you by Casper one more right [TS]

00:19:31 ◼   ► now please visit Casper dot-com / [TS]

00:19:34 ◼   ► supertrain Casper is an online retailer [TS]

00:19:37 ◼   ► of premium mattresses that you can get [TS]

00:19:39 ◼   ► for a fraction of the price that you'll [TS]

00:19:41 ◼   ► find in stores Casper mattress is a [TS]

00:19:45 ◼   ► beautiful thing [TS]

00:19:46 ◼   ► it's a mattress that provides resilience [TS]

00:19:48 ◼   ► and long-lasting supportive comfort it [TS]

00:19:51 ◼   ► is a new one-of-a-kind hybrid mattress [TS]

00:19:54 ◼   ► the combines premium latex foam with [TS]

00:19:57 ◼   ► memory foam these two technologies come [TS]

00:20:00 ◼   ► together for a terrific night sleep it [TS]

00:20:02 ◼   ► is just the right sink and many people [TS]

00:20:04 ◼   ► say just the right balance its [TS]

00:20:07 ◼   ► obsessively engineered mattress and [TS]

00:20:09 ◼   ► shockingly fair price [TS]

00:20:11 ◼   ► I gotta know how this game works guys [TS]

00:20:13 ◼   ► mattresses [TS]

00:20:14 ◼   ► am i right the problem is you get a [TS]

00:20:16 ◼   ► retail mattress from a store somewhere [TS]

00:20:17 ◼   ► they can cost you well over fifteen [TS]

00:20:19 ◼   ► hundred dollars American but casper [TS]

00:20:22 ◼   ► mattresses are so affordable prices [TS]

00:20:24 ◼   ► start at five hundred or a twin size [TS]

00:20:26 ◼   ► mattress 754 full 854 queen-size and 954 [TS]

00:20:30 ◼   ► their tricked-out king-size mattress it [TS]

00:20:32 ◼   ► still has the sink it still has the [TS]

00:20:33 ◼   ► bounce an outstanding matters and you [TS]

00:20:35 ◼   ► know what turns out these are made in [TS]

00:20:37 ◼   ► America to me to really understand why [TS]

00:20:40 ◼   ► Casper's different you gotta look at how [TS]

00:20:41 ◼   ► this whole mattress rocket works it's [TS]

00:20:43 ◼   ► it's a mess it's a mess you do not want [TS]

00:20:45 ◼   ► to go out to the outlet mall and go lay [TS]

00:20:47 ◼   ► on a mattress and land on another [TS]

00:20:48 ◼   ► mattress and there's some guy in a stain [TS]

00:20:50 ◼   ► ty trying to talk you into something you [TS]

00:20:52 ◼   ► want this 1i and you can't price [TS]

00:20:55 ◼   ► comparing because they deliberately give [TS]

00:20:56 ◼   ► them confusing names [TS]

00:20:58 ◼   ► it's it's it's just it's the worst [TS]

00:20:59 ◼   ► cancer is going to save you from this [TS]

00:21:01 ◼   ► they are revolutionising ok the mattress [TS]

00:21:04 ◼   ► industry by cutting the cost of dealing [TS]

00:21:06 ◼   ► with these resellers these jackals in [TS]

00:21:07 ◼   ► their showrooms and their present [TS]

00:21:09 ◼   ► savings directly onto you the sleep [TS]

00:21:11 ◼   ► desirous consumer as for understand that [TS]

00:21:14 ◼   ► buying a mattress online it can seem a [TS]

00:21:16 ◼   ► little bit monkey balls that's my words [TS]

00:21:17 ◼   ► they didn't tell me to say that but but [TS]

00:21:19 ◼   ► they know this seems really work at how [TS]

00:21:21 ◼   ► I'm gonna buy a mattress on the internet [TS]

00:21:24 ◼   ► seems crazy but here's the thing [TS]

00:21:25 ◼   ► buying casper mattresses completely [TS]

00:21:27 ◼   ► risk-free offer free delivery and [TS]

00:21:30 ◼   ► returns with any 100-day Pierre you try [TS]

00:21:32 ◼   ► to sleep on this for 100 nights if you [TS]

00:21:34 ◼   ► don't like it you just send it back to [TS]

00:21:35 ◼   ► them to come pick it up for you you [TS]

00:21:38 ◼   ► don't go lay on a bed for four minutes [TS]

00:21:39 ◼   ► and decide that's how you want to spend [TS]

00:21:40 ◼   ► a third of your life that is no way to [TS]

00:21:42 ◼   ► live [TS]

00:21:43 ◼   ► yeah really try this thing out that you [TS]

00:21:44 ◼   ► know i've been using a using excuse me [TS]

00:21:47 ◼   ► adult parts words here I've been [TS]

00:21:49 ◼   ► sleeping the crap out of a casper [TS]

00:21:50 ◼   ► mattresses for over a year i love it my [TS]

00:21:52 ◼   ► lady loves that we all say so let's go [TS]

00:21:54 ◼   ► sleep somewhere else is not a cast for [TS]

00:21:55 ◼   ► mattress i safe eye on you [TS]

00:21:58 ◼   ► it is the wrong kind of mattress my [TS]

00:21:59 ◼   ► friend this is not shockingly well [TS]

00:22:01 ◼   ► engineered made in America makes me sick [TS]

00:22:03 ◼   ► i love my mattress it arrives in a box [TS]

00:22:05 ◼   ► you carry up the steps just slid open [TS]

00:22:07 ◼   ► the boot [TS]

00:22:08 ◼   ► Molly and inhales and it turns into a [TS]

00:22:10 ◼   ► mattress and you can do that yourself [TS]

00:22:11 ◼   ► and have to go to the outlet mall gold [TS]

00:22:13 ◼   ► you're living in an amazing time I hope [TS]

00:22:15 ◼   ► you're aware that an incredible time you [TS]

00:22:20 ◼   ► gotta check out the Casper mattress it's [TS]

00:22:21 ◼   ► so the best you know we should we do [TS]

00:22:22 ◼   ► this add you know a lot but I don't you [TS]

00:22:25 ◼   ► understand i actually really like this [TS]

00:22:26 ◼   ► mattress I'd like you to get one of [TS]

00:22:28 ◼   ► these you want to make me happy [TS]

00:22:29 ◼   ► go out you go to Casper calm / [TS]

00:22:31 ◼   ► supertrain at least look around it's a [TS]

00:22:33 ◼   ► pretty website you know you're listening [TS]

00:22:35 ◼   ► to this show so why not save yourself 50 [TS]

00:22:37 ◼   ► bucks because when you go to Casper [TS]

00:22:39 ◼   ► common checkout casa.com / supertrain [TS]

00:22:41 ◼   ► and use the offer code supertrain you're [TS]

00:22:43 ◼   ► going to save fifty dollars fifty [TS]

00:22:46 ◼   ► dollars off the mattress can believe [TS]

00:22:47 ◼   ► that [TS]

00:22:48 ◼   ► what's going around you know that you [TS]

00:22:50 ◼   ► want to sleep on a futon that that's [TS]

00:22:52 ◼   ► like sleeping on a large sponge it's no [TS]

00:22:53 ◼   ► way to live [TS]

00:22:54 ◼   ► move on we're Americans here Casper calm [TS]

00:22:58 ◼   ► / supertrain thank you so much for [TS]

00:23:00 ◼   ► supporting Roderick on the line [TS]

00:23:02 ◼   ► wow that's that's amazing i'm going to [TS]

00:23:05 ◼   ► that is that's a fucking amazing wife is [TS]

00:23:07 ◼   ► what that is amazing what but I'm very [TS]

00:23:09 ◼   ► surprised now that i think about that [TS]

00:23:10 ◼   ► you didn't get it from amazon prime [TS]

00:23:12 ◼   ► you're laughing like my dad if I if I [TS]

00:23:20 ◼   ► could I would ya know but let's what's [TS]

00:23:22 ◼   ► kind of find out what this is the beauty [TS]

00:23:25 ◼   ► part is my wife when she was roughly how [TS]

00:23:27 ◼   ► I'm shaped or she mostly remembers how I [TS]

00:23:29 ◼   ► used to be shaped you gotta write she [TS]

00:23:30 ◼   ► got me sooo she brought home the suit [TS]

00:23:32 ◼   ► was great i just had to go to the little [TS]

00:23:34 ◼   ► tailor guy looks very tiny little tailor [TS]

00:23:36 ◼   ► guy around the corner [TS]

00:23:38 ◼   ► yeah it was great and he he he hemmed up [TS]

00:23:40 ◼   ► my pants and then he insisted on fixing [TS]

00:23:43 ◼   ► the length of my sleeve which I thought [TS]

00:23:44 ◼   ► were fine but he fix those to $45 out [TS]

00:23:47 ◼   ► the door [TS]

00:23:48 ◼   ► wow that's a good deal now where did you [TS]

00:23:50 ◼   ► go with the sleeps he went up right when [TS]

00:23:51 ◼   ► up a little bit yes a little guy [TS]

00:23:53 ◼   ► here's the funny part so now my part is [TS]

00:23:55 ◼   ► I needed I needed as soon as quick and [TS]

00:23:57 ◼   ► super boring i needed a suit i needed a [TS]

00:24:00 ◼   ► tie i needed shoes and then there's the [TS]

00:24:03 ◼   ► thing you always forget which is you [TS]

00:24:05 ◼   ► need a belt [TS]

00:24:06 ◼   ► oh you do need a belt so I apparently [TS]

00:24:08 ◼   ► apparently it's gotta match the shoes my [TS]

00:24:11 ◼   ► wife did all the heavy lifting my wife [TS]

00:24:13 ◼   ► got me a suit on the way home from ben [TS]

00:24:14 ◼   ► from from the trader joes she got me a [TS]

00:24:17 ◼   ► suit she brought home i tried on I [TS]

00:24:18 ◼   ► didn't try it on I just took it to the [TS]

00:24:19 ◼   ► tailor and he made me try it on [TS]

00:24:21 ◼   ► whatever it was got me attaching a cool [TS]

00:24:23 ◼   ► time with sharks and fish bones on it i [TS]

00:24:25 ◼   ► conducted a wedding in that tie and then [TS]

00:24:29 ◼   ► you know what I did hate to admit this [TS]

00:24:30 ◼   ► on the internet but I bought probably [TS]

00:24:33 ◼   ► the most expensive fancy shoes I've ever [TS]

00:24:37 ◼   ► bought in my life i don't i'm not i want [TS]

00:24:40 ◼   ► you to mention this on the internet i'm [TS]

00:24:41 ◼   ► excited about this i got pretty calm [TS]

00:24:43 ◼   ► which called brogues those like because [TS]

00:24:45 ◼   ► those cool looking brown shoes with [TS]

00:24:47 ◼   ► holes in them [TS]

00:24:48 ◼   ► Alan edmondson they're the most costly [TS]

00:24:50 ◼   ► shoes I've ever owned in my life [TS]

00:24:52 ◼   ► you got allen-edmonds like like Brody [TS]

00:24:56 ◼   ► brokes yeah my boy she's very impressed [TS]

00:24:59 ◼   ► those are those are handmade in America [TS]

00:25:01 ◼   ► they are there gorgeous and they smell [TS]

00:25:03 ◼   ► the whole house the small issues they're [TS]

00:25:05 ◼   ► gorgeous they're amazing so that's all [TS]

00:25:07 ◼   ► great i'm good i got a pair of socks i [TS]

00:25:09 ◼   ► can repurpose right I do need a belt [TS]

00:25:11 ◼   ► don't do socks to go through well maybe [TS]

00:25:13 ◼   ► you do but yeah [TS]

00:25:14 ◼   ► yes Jesse thorn I wear funny socks [TS]

00:25:16 ◼   ► because on that guy so I didn't just go [TS]

00:25:20 ◼   ► to amazon i didn't just go to Amazon [TS]

00:25:23 ◼   ► with amazon prime [TS]

00:25:24 ◼   ► I want the Amazon Prime now and I guess [TS]

00:25:26 ◼   ► that my belt size and I said I had a [TS]

00:25:28 ◼   ► belt delivered to my house in two hours [TS]

00:25:30 ◼   ► what is amazon prime now a whole [TS]

00:25:32 ◼   ► separate level of amazon prime [TS]

00:25:34 ◼   ► yes so you're telling me there's [TS]

00:25:36 ◼   ► something called galley you get legos [TS]

00:25:38 ◼   ► delivered to your house in two hours [TS]

00:25:40 ◼   ► there's something called amazon prime [TS]

00:25:41 ◼   ► now so is there another thing that's [TS]

00:25:45 ◼   ► like amazon prime now right now is it [TS]

00:25:47 ◼   ► your card [TS]

00:25:48 ◼   ► ok yeah that thing where Ricky J throws [TS]

00:25:52 ◼   ► a card thru window and it's got a roll [TS]

00:25:54 ◼   ► of toilet paper [TS]

00:25:55 ◼   ► it's been there the whole uh I'm very [TS]

00:25:59 ◼   ► impressed by amazon you know my mom [TS]

00:26:00 ◼   ► periodically gets a gets texts that say [TS]

00:26:05 ◼   ► right now there's a truck at the corner [TS]

00:26:07 ◼   ► of fourteenth and madison and it's got [TS]

00:26:08 ◼   ► steaks in it for fifteen dollars do you [TS]

00:26:12 ◼   ► want them [TS]

00:26:12 ◼   ► yeah that's that's it that's ok that's a [TS]

00:26:14 ◼   ► scam what is well I mean I think it's a [TS]

00:26:17 ◼   ► pretty well-known ok so guy comes to [TS]

00:26:18 ◼   ► your door [TS]

00:26:19 ◼   ► he looks pretty pretty clean because he [TS]

00:26:21 ◼   ► listened at currently notices this is [TS]

00:26:24 ◼   ► the first thing you want to look forward [TS]

00:26:25 ◼   ► to go cause grandfather hey he's a clear [TS]

00:26:28 ◼   ► all the way no man comes to your [TS]

00:26:30 ◼   ► daughters listen I hope you can help me [TS]

00:26:31 ◼   ► out of a jam [TS]

00:26:32 ◼   ► I had a big order canceled at the last [TS]

00:26:34 ◼   ► min [TS]

00:26:34 ◼   ► it i have i got what five ten pounds of [TS]

00:26:38 ◼   ► prime steaks out here huh like this is a [TS]

00:26:41 ◼   ► known scam the stakes cam is the door [TS]

00:26:43 ◼   ► snakeskin I've never forget about how [TS]

00:26:44 ◼   ► it's a scam but i'm pretty sure it's a [TS]

00:26:46 ◼   ► scam it's a little bit like my kids in [TS]

00:26:48 ◼   ► the car I got a job interview [TS]

00:26:49 ◼   ► yeah you've got you've got what happens [TS]

00:26:51 ◼   ► i think as you get some steaks you buy [TS]

00:26:54 ◼   ► stakes in bulk it's like buying a pound [TS]

00:26:56 ◼   ► of pot in your head up into grams and [TS]

00:27:00 ◼   ► you and you you're making profit on the [TS]

00:27:02 ◼   ► margin [TS]

00:27:02 ◼   ► mmm i get the sense this is that this is [TS]

00:27:05 ◼   ► kind of a thing where you go to go to [TS]

00:27:07 ◼   ► let's say you go to arby's let's just [TS]

00:27:11 ◼   ► take for a moment the possibility that [TS]

00:27:13 ◼   ► you would go to an arby's I think it's [TS]

00:27:14 ◼   ► pretty good possibility if i ever went [TS]

00:27:17 ◼   ► my wife wouldn't know let's just leave [TS]

00:27:18 ◼   ► it at that [TS]

00:27:19 ◼   ► uh we don't talk about arby's let's say [TS]

00:27:21 ◼   ► well don't talk about arby's we tell me [TS]

00:27:23 ◼   ► you tell me you're gonna go to your [TS]

00:27:24 ◼   ► whatever you go to your grave or whatnot [TS]

00:27:26 ◼   ► you're never going to have another beef [TS]

00:27:27 ◼   ► and cheddar as long as you live [TS]

00:27:29 ◼   ► this is the thing first rule of arbys [TS]

00:27:30 ◼   ► club mhm [TS]

00:27:32 ◼   ► you know timewise but here's here's the [TS]

00:27:34 ◼   ► secret of our bees are you ready yeah [TS]

00:27:36 ◼   ► the best thing at arbys is the chicken [TS]

00:27:39 ◼   ► sandwich [TS]

00:27:40 ◼   ► the best thing at arbys is that this is [TS]

00:27:42 ◼   ► the new arbys yeah this is America's [TS]

00:27:44 ◼   ► roast beef yes sir yes sir [TS]

00:27:46 ◼   ► mhm you don't know that this is this [TS]

00:27:48 ◼   ► can't be yogurt or this country's best [TS]

00:27:51 ◼   ► yogurt [TS]

00:27:52 ◼   ► no fucking way is this yogurt uh-hum so [TS]

00:27:54 ◼   ► let's say you're at an Arby's you get a [TS]

00:27:56 ◼   ► chicken sandwich [TS]

00:27:58 ◼   ► it's great primarily because it the the [TS]

00:28:01 ◼   ► chicken has been dredged in flour and [TS]

00:28:05 ◼   ► then french-fried a kind of like a [TS]

00:28:09 ◼   ► chick-fil-a right very much like a [TS]

00:28:11 ◼   ► triple a and then some lettuce and [TS]

00:28:13 ◼   ► mayonnaise goes on that's a great [TS]

00:28:15 ◼   ► combination [TS]

00:28:15 ◼   ► I know right and then it is simple it's [TS]

00:28:17 ◼   ► nice and simple so you go to an RPG get [TS]

00:28:20 ◼   ► your roast beef sandwich of course [TS]

00:28:22 ◼   ► yeah right you have a look here I get [TS]

00:28:24 ◼   ► three sandwiches and duplicated potato [TS]

00:28:26 ◼   ► cakes when I go to arby's well instead [TS]

00:28:28 ◼   ► of potato cakes i get Swiss cheese put [TS]

00:28:30 ◼   ► on the sandwich that's nice i had Swiss [TS]

00:28:33 ◼   ► right but uh then you get a chicken [TS]

00:28:37 ◼   ► sandwich as a kind of like taste [TS]

00:28:39 ◼   ► sensation that's for the table it's just [TS]

00:28:41 ◼   ► that you're the table exactly so you got [TS]

00:28:43 ◼   ► your sitting in your car you got three [TS]

00:28:46 ◼   ► RB sandwiches and [TS]

00:28:47 ◼   ► chicken sandwich I hate that I relate to [TS]

00:28:50 ◼   ► send you so much you gobble the roast [TS]

00:28:53 ◼   ► beef sandwiches because you have the [TS]

00:28:55 ◼   ► last thing you want to do is get have [TS]

00:28:57 ◼   ► those things get cold and then all of a [TS]

00:28:59 ◼   ► sudden you can't even imagine how much [TS]

00:29:00 ◼   ► this is actually how I eat almost 700 [TS]

00:29:04 ◼   ► entrees and appetizers exactly once an [TS]

00:29:07 ◼   ► Arby's sandwich gets cold the beef but [TS]

00:29:14 ◼   ► what will call the beef right sake of [TS]

00:29:16 ◼   ► the argument here that takes on the [TS]

00:29:19 ◼   ► consistency and kind of mouthfeel of [TS]

00:29:22 ◼   ► like like the labia of a dead raccoon ok [TS]

00:29:26 ◼   ► alright so it's it's sort of it's like [TS]

00:29:28 ◼   ► am it's kind of like i like i like a [TS]

00:29:30 ◼   ► rodent lobby a stake them [TS]

00:29:33 ◼   ► yeah right okay let's take'em remember [TS]

00:29:36 ◼   ► stay calm stickers and once the real [TS]

00:29:37 ◼   ► skinny and the frozen you throw him [TS]

00:29:40 ◼   ► right into the pan and then they [TS]

00:29:42 ◼   ► evacuate right in their eyes I don't [TS]

00:29:44 ◼   ► think I do remember stay calm but I [TS]

00:29:45 ◼   ► think you've told me about stickam and [TS]

00:29:48 ◼   ► so I have a kind of your tribe [TS]

00:29:50 ◼   ► fluffernutter stickam steakums were [TS]

00:29:53 ◼   ► pretty good and but they're SuperDuper [TS]

00:29:55 ◼   ► cheap they're basically they're like [TS]

00:29:57 ◼   ► here's the thing if you have you ever [TS]

00:29:58 ◼   ► seen like what a block we talked about [TS]

00:30:00 ◼   ► this you we've talked about this cheese [TS]

00:30:02 ◼   ► parties block which is gelatinous don't [TS]

00:30:05 ◼   ► tell me about the armies but don't want [TS]

00:30:07 ◼   ► your own block go to room temperature [TS]

00:30:08 ◼   ► definitely go to fucking arbys [TS]

00:30:10 ◼   ► temperature or it's going to turn in [TS]

00:30:12 ◼   ► till to like lobby already Coon gelatin [TS]

00:30:15 ◼   ► it's a gel it's a gel it's a gel it's a [TS]

00:30:18 ◼   ► hardened gel that is flash-fried yeah [TS]

00:30:20 ◼   ► and when you slice it but the thing is [TS]

00:30:21 ◼   ► when you think about slicing a roast [TS]

00:30:22 ◼   ► beef you think about all i have this big [TS]

00:30:24 ◼   ► roast beef that I made I'm gonna slice [TS]

00:30:25 ◼   ► into slices from the integrity of the [TS]

00:30:28 ◼   ► the initial primary Rose you got a case [TS]

00:30:30 ◼   ► here got a beef integrity [TS]

00:30:32 ◼   ► this is closer to like the cabinets on a [TS]

00:30:35 ◼   ► vanity in a mobile home that kind of [TS]

00:30:37 ◼   ► particle board accepts particle beef [TS]

00:30:40 ◼   ► well sure you slice it with a laser or [TS]

00:30:42 ◼   ► with the with like a sawzall yeah you [TS]

00:30:46 ◼   ► slight well yeah that's exactly right [TS]

00:30:48 ◼   ► you slide I think you so I think what [TS]

00:30:50 ◼   ► happens is you take a piano wire and [TS]

00:30:53 ◼   ► then you slice the gelatin with um ok [TS]

00:30:56 ◼   ► but but but my experience of the [TS]

00:30:58 ◼   ► chickens [TS]

00:30:59 ◼   ► lunch at arbys is that this thing is the [TS]

00:31:03 ◼   ► best thing on the menu the rest of the [TS]

00:31:04 ◼   ► food at arbys you're taking your life in [TS]

00:31:07 ◼   ► your own hands [TS]

00:31:08 ◼   ► you know what you're doing and I mean [TS]

00:31:09 ◼   ► yeah you know what she did [TS]

00:31:11 ◼   ► it's a bet you do know what you did and [TS]

00:31:13 ◼   ► you're a bad boy and you know that [TS]

00:31:15 ◼   ► you're not gonna tell anybody went to [TS]

00:31:17 ◼   ► arby's you're not gonna tell your wife [TS]

00:31:19 ◼   ► you can put on pinterest and I'm gonna [TS]

00:31:21 ◼   ► put it on pinterest you're not going to [TS]

00:31:22 ◼   ► go on Twitter and say I want to RB [TS]

00:31:24 ◼   ► uh-huh [TS]

00:31:25 ◼   ► because you're going to get more [TS]

00:31:26 ◼   ► comments than that the the circumcision [TS]

00:31:29 ◼   ► article in The New York Times yeah I [TS]

00:31:31 ◼   ► incidentally written by a Jewish guy who [TS]

00:31:33 ◼   ► is like full disclosure [TS]

00:31:36 ◼   ► this is part of my culture we're coming [TS]

00:31:37 ◼   ► back to circumcision don't worry about [TS]

00:31:39 ◼   ► that met all these comments that were [TS]

00:31:41 ◼   ► like clientes Medicare like a little bit [TS]

00:31:44 ◼   ► like in something in some ways it was [TS]

00:31:47 ◼   ► hey all religion is is a his bunk so I'm [TS]

00:31:51 ◼   ► sure you get some of that in comments [TS]

00:31:53 ◼   ► yeah you're robbing it turns into a [TS]

00:31:54 ◼   ► briefcase but my so I have this terrible [TS]

00:31:57 ◼   ► i had this terrible reaction for this [TS]

00:32:01 ◼   ► terrible moment of clarity where I was [TS]

00:32:03 ◼   ► sitting in my car and I was following up [TS]

00:32:04 ◼   ► my three arbys roast beef sandwiches [TS]

00:32:06 ◼   ► with my delicious chicken sandwich the [TS]

00:32:08 ◼   ► bed that's really the answers you're [TS]

00:32:09 ◼   ► looking forward to this is a [TS]

00:32:10 ◼   ► multi-course sandwich meal that's right [TS]

00:32:12 ◼   ► i'm trying i'm actually just plowing [TS]

00:32:14 ◼   ► through these roast beefs uh-huh to get [TS]

00:32:17 ◼   ► to the ps2 races start and then I get to [TS]

00:32:21 ◼   ► the ps2 racist and I'm enjoying it and [TS]

00:32:23 ◼   ► then I think of all the articles i've [TS]

00:32:25 ◼   ► read about chickens all the terror that [TS]

00:32:29 ◼   ► that's a terrible time to think of that [TS]

00:32:30 ◼   ► challenge it's the worst time to think [TS]

00:32:32 ◼   ► of it because there is no good story of [TS]

00:32:35 ◼   ► American chickens and if there is if I [TS]

00:32:38 ◼   ► me if American chickens have a good [TS]

00:32:40 ◼   ► story it is not at any point going to [TS]

00:32:43 ◼   ► touch an arby's yeah you know what I [TS]

00:32:45 ◼   ► mean like do I do [TS]

00:32:47 ◼   ► they're getting their chicken right from [TS]

00:32:49 ◼   ► Purdue and it's coming to them probably [TS]

00:32:52 ◼   ► in a pocket like literally in a pipeline [TS]

00:32:54 ◼   ► like the chicken arrives in a pipe like [TS]

00:32:57 ◼   ► a tap right like it's like you get those [TS]

00:33:00 ◼   ► trucks to come and pick up your talent [TS]

00:33:02 ◼   ► Greece it's the opposite they just they [TS]

00:33:04 ◼   ► just have a host probably 6 8 inch hose [TS]

00:33:06 ◼   ► full of quarters called chicken for now [TS]

00:33:08 ◼   ► that they blow into the armies into the [TS]

00:33:10 ◼   ► containment facility i cannot think [TS]

00:33:13 ◼   ► that is not true because remember the [TS]

00:33:14 ◼   ► whole pink slime problem okay auntie I [TS]

00:33:17 ◼   ► do well think about how many chicken [TS]

00:33:21 ◼   ► breasts get sold every year versus how [TS]

00:33:24 ◼   ► many breasts are on a typical chicken [TS]

00:33:26 ◼   ► all I've thought about this [TS]

00:33:27 ◼   ► yeah I thought about this with baby [TS]

00:33:29 ◼   ► carrots baby carrots are a fucking scam [TS]

00:33:31 ◼   ► first of all this is very quick [TS]

00:33:33 ◼   ► it drives me nuts been at baby carrots [TS]

00:33:34 ◼   ► right are basically big carrots that [TS]

00:33:36 ◼   ► have been milled down to be small [TS]

00:33:38 ◼   ► carrots know is really know there's no [TS]

00:33:40 ◼   ► such thing as a baby carrot no come on [TS]

00:33:42 ◼   ► they're taking those carrots out of the [TS]

00:33:43 ◼   ► ground before they're ready to put on [TS]

00:33:45 ◼   ► the lathe put on a carrot lays it makes [TS]

00:33:47 ◼   ► a little carrot it's like a like a [TS]

00:33:49 ◼   ► quarter no turn out like with the French [TS]

00:33:51 ◼   ► French turning it's like that except the [TS]

00:33:52 ◼   ► Machine does it but here's the thing [TS]

00:33:54 ◼   ► they're not even trying anymore [TS]

00:33:56 ◼   ► my uh my daughter eats tons of baby [TS]

00:33:57 ◼   ► carrots but they're not even trying [TS]

00:33:58 ◼   ► anymore they just basically cutting off [TS]

00:34:00 ◼   ► the ends and they're still fat and then [TS]

00:34:02 ◼   ► they break open and I hate it [TS]

00:34:03 ◼   ► oh no it's awful what a good story i've [TS]

00:34:07 ◼   ► written about an American carrot what do [TS]

00:34:09 ◼   ► they do with the rest of a carrot [TS]

00:34:11 ◼   ► ya see Michael Stipe says when you throw [TS]

00:34:12 ◼   ► it away whereas away soy bomb' so that I [TS]

00:34:21 ◼   ► did that hinder your usual so I'm [TS]

00:34:24 ◼   ► sitting there and I'm thinking I want to [TS]

00:34:26 ◼   ► eat [TS]

00:34:26 ◼   ► typically i want to eat quality food [TS]

00:34:29 ◼   ► that has never been in a hose they don't [TS]

00:34:32 ◼   ► have a quick and even in my repose I [TS]

00:34:36 ◼   ► think I'm i wonder how I'd like to eat [TS]

00:34:39 ◼   ► if you're just sitting there it's been [TS]

00:34:42 ◼   ► an hour since you ate and you can have a [TS]

00:34:44 ◼   ► nice clear mind you're sitting there [TS]

00:34:45 ◼   ► looking at the bagel you know I had my [TS]

00:34:48 ◼   ► druthers I would choose not to eat [TS]

00:34:50 ◼   ► things that have been shot from a hose [TS]

00:34:51 ◼   ► yeah that's right you think I want to be [TS]

00:34:53 ◼   ► the guy I want to be the person who is [TS]

00:34:56 ◼   ► so bougie that he goes to the market the [TS]

00:35:00 ◼   ► public market like he goes down to the [TS]

00:35:02 ◼   ► farmers market where people are in [TS]

00:35:05 ◼   ► butcher smocks and they have a and they [TS]

00:35:07 ◼   ► look like d-day from animal house i love [TS]

00:35:11 ◼   ► t-day right so they've gotta handle my [TS]

00:35:13 ◼   ► favorite ash and they they're wearing a [TS]

00:35:15 ◼   ► helmet right and you think they'd [TS]

00:35:17 ◼   ► welcome to the first doll and just buy [TS]

00:35:18 ◼   ► some fucking chicken no sir [TS]

00:35:20 ◼   ► they're going to check out every place [TS]

00:35:21 ◼   ► and they got a lot of questions that's [TS]

00:35:23 ◼   ► right and that does have gluten [TS]

00:35:25 ◼   ► does this have dairy has [TS]

00:35:26 ◼   ► chicken ever been traumatized what is [TS]

00:35:28 ◼   ► that what was the name of this chicken [TS]

00:35:31 ◼   ► what was it studying yeah and then the [TS]

00:35:33 ◼   ► guy behind the counter in the butcher's [TS]

00:35:34 ◼   ► mark says that that chickens name was [TS]

00:35:36 ◼   ► Harold mni / I found him to be one of [TS]

00:35:39 ◼   ► the better chickens and on my on my well [TS]

00:35:42 ◼   ► basically my velvet-lined chicken pen [TS]

00:35:44 ◼   ► mhm and I've had a hand fed him hershey [TS]

00:35:47 ◼   ► bars and then you're like I will pay [TS]

00:35:50 ◼   ► 1100 dollars a pound for this chicken [TS]

00:35:52 ◼   ► like I want to be that person who feeds [TS]

00:35:56 ◼   ► his children only food that was grown by [TS]

00:36:00 ◼   ► peasants in on a mountainside [TS]

00:36:02 ◼   ► its food you can stand behind food you [TS]

00:36:04 ◼   ► can stand in front of food that you can [TS]

00:36:06 ◼   ► stand next to with your arm around it [TS]

00:36:08 ◼   ► and say mom dad [TS]

00:36:10 ◼   ► yeah this is the food that I brought you [TS]

00:36:12 ◼   ► visit my kitchen anytime you're going to [TS]

00:36:13 ◼   ► see Harold and you can see the light [TS]

00:36:15 ◼   ► that he's had in his in his velvet [TS]

00:36:16 ◼   ► chicken kitchen is this is a chicken has [TS]

00:36:18 ◼   ► had a good life [TS]

00:36:19 ◼   ► what I don't want to do is be driving [TS]

00:36:20 ◼   ► down the street CNR bees and without any [TS]

00:36:24 ◼   ► control of my limbs pull into the drive [TS]

00:36:27 ◼   ► through and before i can think about it [TS]

00:36:30 ◼   ► i ordered three prospeed sandwiches and [TS]

00:36:32 ◼   ► chicken sandwich before I can even think [TS]

00:36:34 ◼   ► about it and then I'm sitting I'm [TS]

00:36:37 ◼   ► sitting in the parking lot or i rejoin [TS]

00:36:40 ◼   ► the road and never been inside that one [TS]

00:36:43 ◼   ► of those one of those tables with you [TS]

00:36:44 ◼   ► connected chairs [TS]

00:36:45 ◼   ► no no I don't want to go and I don't [TS]

00:36:47 ◼   ► want to be horsey sauce [TS]

00:36:48 ◼   ► oh I just I don't because I because that [TS]

00:36:51 ◼   ► requires that extra step of thought [TS]

00:36:53 ◼   ► I'm back on the road I'm going 70 miles [TS]

00:36:56 ◼   ► an hour and I've got three and I've got [TS]

00:36:58 ◼   ► a roast beef sandwich in my hand and [TS]

00:36:59 ◼   ► chicken sam took my lap and I'm not [TS]

00:37:01 ◼   ► thinking about it and I just I just be [TS]

00:37:04 ◼   ► mindful eating I me I got anything this [TS]

00:37:08 ◼   ► own food [TS]

00:37:09 ◼   ► I might even be on the way to with [TS]

00:37:10 ◼   ► dinner where people are gonna serve me [TS]

00:37:12 ◼   ► you Blake blanched kale and I'm like I [TS]

00:37:15 ◼   ► gotta prep for this I totally I always [TS]

00:37:17 ◼   ► eat before I go to dinner I'm gonna get [TS]

00:37:19 ◼   ► I'm gonna get too cold to bully and some [TS]

00:37:21 ◼   ► blanched kale and a kinda I'm gonna are [TS]

00:37:24 ◼   ► my babies are appointed by too many [TS]

00:37:25 ◼   ► quote-unquote dinners where dinner is [TS]

00:37:28 ◼   ► two are exactly side was going to be and [TS]

00:37:29 ◼   ► I'm getting weird and I'm getting a [TS]

00:37:31 ◼   ► headache you get an Arby's on the way to [TS]

00:37:32 ◼   ► dinner and you're gonna it's like it's [TS]

00:37:33 ◼   ► like it's like it's like you doing your [TS]

00:37:36 ◼   ► business before you go on a date [TS]

00:37:37 ◼   ► same idea but it's like laying down [TS]

00:37:40 ◼   ► I'm covering fire before you send your [TS]

00:37:41 ◼   ► platoon in perspective into the fucking [TS]

00:37:44 ◼   ► jungle [TS]

00:37:44 ◼   ► thank you for your service so I but I [TS]

00:37:48 ◼   ► had this I just had this terrible [TS]

00:37:50 ◼   ► thought of these chickens were there [TS]

00:37:51 ◼   ► where their little talents are growing [TS]

00:37:53 ◼   ► into the cages and they're pecking each [TS]

00:37:55 ◼   ► other to death and no and every once in [TS]

00:37:58 ◼   ► a while somebody opens the garage door [TS]

00:38:00 ◼   ► and hit some with a with a like turned [TS]

00:38:02 ◼   ► on a fire hose but it's just cover it's [TS]

00:38:04 ◼   ► just hosing out antibiotics yeah and you [TS]

00:38:07 ◼   ► think how did I get to how did I get [TS]

00:38:09 ◼   ► here [TS]

00:38:10 ◼   ► yeah is there a lower place I guess I [TS]

00:38:12 ◼   ► mcdonalds make nugget probably is lower [TS]

00:38:14 ◼   ► down [TS]

00:38:16 ◼   ► it's the it's the stuff that comes out [TS]

00:38:18 ◼   ► of the chicken hose there at the end of [TS]

00:38:20 ◼   ► the day you know right that was the [TS]

00:38:22 ◼   ► innovation was the the Nugget person [TS]

00:38:25 ◼   ► figured out that all these other parts [TS]

00:38:27 ◼   ► that we previously just waste [TS]

00:38:29 ◼   ► there's a way to turn these into [TS]

00:38:30 ◼   ► something we give our kids with the [TS]

00:38:31 ◼   ► winner's prize he the prize isn't justin [TS]

00:38:34 ◼   ► mcnugget who also get a little plastic [TS]

00:38:37 ◼   ► thing in a plastic thing it's not it's [TS]

00:38:42 ◼   ► not it's not a good feeling [TS]

00:38:43 ◼   ► Marvin you're stronger hale and hearty I [TS]

00:38:48 ◼   ► do i do fine i do you think you've been [TS]

00:38:51 ◼   ► eating in some in some ways some people [TS]

00:38:53 ◼   ► would say pure garbage [TS]

00:38:55 ◼   ► yeah i'm just trying to cut down the [TS]

00:38:57 ◼   ► bread I the garbage garbage protein you [TS]

00:39:00 ◼   ► know I'm trying to be more advisable [TS]

00:39:01 ◼   ► about you know the thing is this [TS]

00:39:02 ◼   ► affecting my life that I can't tonight i [TS]

00:39:03 ◼   ► don't have a name for this you could get [TS]

00:39:05 ◼   ► paleo Atkins all have the terms of art I [TS]

00:39:08 ◼   ► know that if I eat a lot more protein [TS]

00:39:10 ◼   ► and a lot less of almost everything else [TS]

00:39:12 ◼   ► except vegetables I feel markedly better [TS]

00:39:15 ◼   ► like within two days yesterday morning I [TS]

00:39:18 ◼   ► had to cook hamburger patties for [TS]

00:39:20 ◼   ► breakfast and had a great day [TS]

00:39:21 ◼   ► yeah I you know I started seeing a [TS]

00:39:24 ◼   ► doctor [TS]

00:39:25 ◼   ► yeah right i went to the doctor one time [TS]

00:39:28 ◼   ► you had the-they working your sebaceous [TS]

00:39:30 ◼   ► cyst well before that I went to the [TS]

00:39:31 ◼   ► doctor one time he he talked to me he [TS]

00:39:34 ◼   ► did that doctor thing was like Europe [TS]

00:39:36 ◼   ► looked at the Charlie said you're a [TS]

00:39:38 ◼   ► musician I was like that's right doc he [TS]

00:39:42 ◼   ► looked back at the chart then he looked [TS]

00:39:44 ◼   ► at me again trying to make sense of it [TS]

00:39:46 ◼   ► but he you know he took my blood [TS]

00:39:49 ◼   ► pressure he asked me some questions [TS]

00:39:51 ◼   ► he you know so this is went to the [TS]

00:39:53 ◼   ► doctor one time and went to the doctor [TS]

00:39:55 ◼   ► to times and I went to the doctor three [TS]

00:39:57 ◼   ► times and at that point Fugees song [TS]

00:40:02 ◼   ► yeah but but I but what i want haha what [TS]

00:40:13 ◼   ► I want to know so i go to him and I want [TS]

00:40:16 ◼   ► some reassurance and I say well let go [TS]

00:40:18 ◼   ► to the doctor you wanted to him he gave [TS]

00:40:20 ◼   ► me plenty of reassurance he said you [TS]

00:40:23 ◼   ► don't have prostate cancer you just you [TS]

00:40:25 ◼   ► just don't get why you're so not looking [TS]

00:40:27 ◼   ► for a while I'm surprised you're not [TS]

00:40:29 ◼   ► more of an athlete because you're so fit [TS]

00:40:31 ◼   ► i want to hear you're mostly ok is what [TS]

00:40:34 ◼   ► I hear it's exactly what you want to [TS]

00:40:35 ◼   ► hear when you go to the dentist it's [TS]

00:40:36 ◼   ► like well your gums haven't received [TS]

00:40:38 ◼   ► that much you can floss more but you're [TS]

00:40:39 ◼   ► mostly ok I would take that every time [TS]

00:40:41 ◼   ► like okay great [TS]

00:40:43 ◼   ► I don't want to go to the dentist and [TS]

00:40:44 ◼   ► have the woman say well your teeth are [TS]

00:40:47 ◼   ► the color of coffee now I don't care get [TS]

00:40:50 ◼   ► there put me on a course of chemo god [TS]

00:40:52 ◼   ► forbid but if they went out what I don't [TS]

00:40:54 ◼   ► care how bad off i am I still want them [TS]

00:40:56 ◼   ► to say you're mostly okay you're really [TS]

00:40:58 ◼   ► okay take these pills and shop for this [TS]

00:40:59 ◼   ► appointment but so here's what the [TS]

00:41:01 ◼   ► doctor says I'm like when i try to you [TS]

00:41:02 ◼   ► know I don't need a lot of bread above [TS]

00:41:05 ◼   ► and he gets this look on his face it's [TS]

00:41:06 ◼   ► basically the look of somebody who's [TS]

00:41:08 ◼   ► about to tell me that circumcision is [TS]

00:41:09 ◼   ► bad [TS]

00:41:10 ◼   ► yeah and oh wait a minute I look up I [TS]

00:41:12 ◼   ► look up on the wall and there's a little [TS]

00:41:15 ◼   ► body board in the shape of a of a infant [TS]

00:41:18 ◼   ► made a little bit of molded plastic it's [TS]

00:41:21 ◼   ► the first time I've ever seen one of [TS]

00:41:22 ◼   ► these him to the doctor about a bunch [TS]

00:41:25 ◼   ► got a molded baby figure here's a molded [TS]

00:41:27 ◼   ► baby it's like a gravy boat for babies [TS]

00:41:30 ◼   ► and I look up at it and I'm like he [TS]

00:41:35 ◼   ► comes in and I've been looking at this [TS]

00:41:36 ◼   ► thing and I say hey Doc you gotta tell [TS]

00:41:38 ◼   ► me what is this little baby bucket but [TS]

00:41:41 ◼   ► like shaped it's like a it's like if you [TS]

00:41:43 ◼   ► were going to marinate a baby I'm like [TS]

00:41:46 ◼   ► what is this thing and he's like oh [TS]

00:41:48 ◼   ► that's a circumcision bored you put the [TS]

00:41:52 ◼   ► baby in the in the baby shaped bucket [TS]

00:41:54 ◼   ► uh-huh and you can you can snip him [TS]

00:41:58 ◼   ► oh and then I look up and there is [TS]

00:42:00 ◼   ► there's a yellow stain in the pp area [TS]

00:42:04 ◼   ► mm and I'm like doc that's gross and he [TS]

00:42:07 ◼   ► says no no no we use a yellow a kind of [TS]

00:42:12 ◼   ► antiseptic i'm looking at this thing [TS]

00:42:15 ◼   ► right now this is horrifying [TS]

00:42:16 ◼   ► it's almost like a tex avery baby shape [TS]

00:42:19 ◼   ► thing [TS]

00:42:20 ◼   ► yeah with start this other site at first [TS]

00:42:23 ◼   ► glance it looks like something for child [TS]

00:42:25 ◼   ► safety [TS]

00:42:26 ◼   ► yeah but it's you put a baby in it and [TS]

00:42:28 ◼   ► it's got velcro straps you stop the kid [TS]

00:42:30 ◼   ► into this thing that lets me look at my [TS]

00:42:33 ◼   ► daughter would mix her paints in exactly [TS]

00:42:34 ◼   ► this was a baby its kind of medieval [TS]

00:42:36 ◼   ► looking the baby's not gonna be [TS]

00:42:38 ◼   ► comfortable in this place unless you'll [TS]

00:42:40 ◼   ► lay down some unless you put some flow [TS]

00:42:42 ◼   ► fluffernutter in there and then they [TS]

00:42:45 ◼   ► apparently hos hos the baby's a little [TS]

00:42:49 ◼   ► peepee down with some yellow [TS]

00:42:51 ◼   ► disinfectant and then whack and it's [TS]

00:42:54 ◼   ► he's got a special little little place [TS]

00:42:57 ◼   ► for me and he hangs on the wall like [TS]

00:42:59 ◼   ► it's a like it's a clock [TS]

00:43:02 ◼   ► yeah it gets up high to I've never seen [TS]

00:43:04 ◼   ► it before so I say to him after this [TS]

00:43:07 ◼   ► conversation I say yeah I try to you [TS]

00:43:10 ◼   ► know gluten and sugar and some work he [TS]

00:43:12 ◼   ► gets this look this bit like this vac [TS]

00:43:15 ◼   ► sir look a doubter and he goes you know [TS]

00:43:19 ◼   ► what all that's baloney and I'm gonna [TS]

00:43:23 ◼   ► really really but I knew it was going to [TS]

00:43:27 ◼   ► say that because you know doctors don't [TS]

00:43:29 ◼   ► know everything cool and he says yeah I [TS]

00:43:32 ◼   ► mean you know you with your body once if [TS]

00:43:34 ◼   ► you want to once a breaded to it's not [TS]

00:43:37 ◼   ► gonna you know the number of people that [TS]

00:43:38 ◼   ► are truly sensitive to gluten is this [TS]

00:43:40 ◼   ► tiny fraction oh this is a triple turns [TS]

00:43:42 ◼   ► out i've heard that is totally true [TS]

00:43:45 ◼   ► yeah right first i've heard people say [TS]

00:43:47 ◼   ► there's like one percent of population [TS]

00:43:48 ◼   ► has the celiac is a non-celiac they're [TS]

00:43:50 ◼   ► all incredibly where if you feel better [TS]

00:43:52 ◼   ► not eating bread don't eat bread but but [TS]

00:43:55 ◼   ► you don't have to make a thing out of it [TS]

00:43:57 ◼   ► yeah it's not it's not you don't have to [TS]

00:43:58 ◼   ► bring your A your comfort animal on the [TS]

00:44:02 ◼   ► on the plane just you know just because [TS]

00:44:05 ◼   ► you don't like being on airplanes right [TS]

00:44:07 ◼   ► did you see the woman that brought that [TS]

00:44:08 ◼   ► yeah if you haven't seen this you're [TS]

00:44:10 ◼   ► gonna love it [TS]

00:44:11 ◼   ► woman brought up a full-grown turkey [TS]

00:44:14 ◼   ► comfort turkey creek comfort turkey [TS]

00:44:17 ◼   ► and she had a plushie and a plausible [TS]

00:44:19 ◼   ► story or her husband died she bonded [TS]

00:44:22 ◼   ► with this turkey that's nice because [TS]

00:44:24 ◼   ► that you know the turkey brought her [TS]

00:44:27 ◼   ► solace [TS]

00:44:28 ◼   ► yeah sure then she was going to go visit [TS]

00:44:30 ◼   ► some relatives and she just felt like [TS]

00:44:32 ◼   ► separated from the turkey she was going [TS]

00:44:34 ◼   ► to be a little bit when she got to the [TS]

00:44:37 ◼   ► hell is a live Turkey right John it's a [TS]

00:44:38 ◼   ► full live Turkey which you know when it [TS]

00:44:41 ◼   ► had it up it had its own seat on the [TS]

00:44:43 ◼   ► plane and there's some lovely photos of [TS]

00:44:45 ◼   ► the term this turkey uncompressed ending [TS]

00:44:49 ◼   ► looking out the window [TS]

00:44:50 ◼   ► it's gonna go i'm not i couldn't fall [TS]

00:44:55 ◼   ► turkey Turkey you know and turkey can [TS]

00:45:01 ◼   ► tell a lot to process even for a [TS]

00:45:03 ◼   ► protective Cup [TS]

00:45:05 ◼   ► I don't care if it is a comfort turkey [TS]

00:45:07 ◼   ► Turkey turkey is brain can distinguish [TS]

00:45:10 ◼   ► on a worm from a rock about six sixty [TS]

00:45:14 ◼   ► percent of the time and it and it's made [TS]

00:45:17 ◼   ► to it's a Turkey's made to periodically [TS]

00:45:20 ◼   ► eat rocks right because that helps with [TS]

00:45:22 ◼   ► digestion well and all yeah right and [TS]

00:45:24 ◼   ► God new like if I don't make it if I [TS]

00:45:28 ◼   ► don't make my gonna make this really [TS]

00:45:29 ◼   ► simple for the turkey yeah well making [TS]

00:45:31 ◼   ► contingency within this turkey curry is [TS]

00:45:33 ◼   ► not a lot going to learn about like [TS]

00:45:34 ◼   ► health shakes on its own [TS]

00:45:36 ◼   ► I should probably make it so that no [TS]

00:45:37 ◼   ► periodically when he rocks it's gonna or [TS]

00:45:39 ◼   ► just like accidentally rocks are looking [TS]

00:45:41 ◼   ► a rock and go that and so here's this [TS]

00:45:44 ◼   ► turkey and he's looking out the window [TS]

00:45:46 ◼   ► of a of this airplane at 30,000 feet and [TS]

00:45:49 ◼   ► I just I'm trying to picture what is [TS]

00:45:51 ◼   ► going through his fucking Turkey mind [TS]

00:45:53 ◼   ► and then you know the lady next times I [TS]

00:45:56 ◼   ► guess given him hugs and stuff yeah that [TS]

00:45:59 ◼   ► mean to you know she's comforting the [TS]

00:46:01 ◼   ► turkey they got a lot maybe that gives [TS]

00:46:03 ◼   ► her comfort right now sometimes it's [TS]

00:46:05 ◼   ► nice [TS]

00:46:05 ◼   ► that's really giving comfort mhm I'm [TS]

00:46:08 ◼   ► trying I'm trying to teach my kid that [TS]

00:46:09 ◼   ► but she does not get it [TS]

00:46:11 ◼   ► my cake it is hard to be depressed when [TS]

00:46:13 ◼   ► you're helping another person i told my [TS]

00:46:15 ◼   ► daughter that is very true if you're [TS]

00:46:16 ◼   ► feeling sad help someone else [TS]

00:46:18 ◼   ► oh I wanted I want to try and i want to [TS]

00:46:20 ◼   ► suggest that to my own kid who just [TS]

00:46:22 ◼   ► recently has started to say daddy why [TS]

00:46:26 ◼   ► don't you move [TS]

00:46:26 ◼   ► [Music] [TS]

00:46:28 ◼   ► I can only honest [TS]

00:46:30 ◼   ► question question daddy what why don't [TS]

00:46:32 ◼   ► you just move and I'm like moved to a [TS]

00:46:34 ◼   ► different house and she's like no move [TS]

00:46:36 ◼   ► to New York and I said move to New York [TS]

00:46:40 ◼   ► with you know I'll stay here with Mama a [TS]

00:46:44 ◼   ► boy that's a that's a provocative [TS]

00:46:46 ◼   ► question [TS]

00:46:46 ◼   ► yeah and i'm like what I answered you [TS]

00:46:48 ◼   ► have a good reason why i said well [TS]

00:46:50 ◼   ► sweetie I would you would I wouldn't be [TS]

00:46:53 ◼   ► around then she's like yeah I know [TS]

00:46:55 ◼   ► wow I'm like just thought about this I'm [TS]

00:46:58 ◼   ► like you are you are you like running [TS]

00:47:00 ◼   ► this by me to see what I do and she's [TS]

00:47:04 ◼   ► like well I mean you know you don't have [TS]

00:47:06 ◼   ► to be here [TS]

00:47:07 ◼   ► oh you could damn you can just and I [TS]

00:47:10 ◼   ► said what you want me to send you videos [TS]

00:47:14 ◼   ► and she said you could send Nana videos [TS]

00:47:18 ◼   ► are and then every once in awhile just [TS]

00:47:20 ◼   ► trying to make this easy on you [TS]

00:47:21 ◼   ► I'm like right so my mom wants a video [TS]

00:47:24 ◼   ► from me more often than my kid does is [TS]

00:47:27 ◼   ► her that's her cosmology I'm like well [TS]

00:47:30 ◼   ► alright maybe we're going through a [TS]

00:47:32 ◼   ► thing right now we're or maybe she just [TS]

00:47:35 ◼   ► like realizes how superfluous daddies [TS]

00:47:40 ◼   ► are ya [TS]

00:47:41 ◼   ► and she just wants to get down to brass [TS]

00:47:42 ◼   ► tacks like--look you're not you don't [TS]

00:47:45 ◼   ► give me food any better than anybody [TS]

00:47:47 ◼   ► else gives me that she get away with [TS]

00:47:50 ◼   ► more with other caregivers who who does [TS]

00:47:55 ◼   ► she ever [TS]

00:47:56 ◼   ► oh really yeah so maybe that's it [TS]

00:48:01 ◼   ► ok this includes the two primary [TS]

00:48:03 ◼   ► auxiliary females others will all be [TS]

00:48:05 ◼   ► everybody else everybody else in the [TS]

00:48:07 ◼   ► clan [TS]

00:48:08 ◼   ► uh-huh is female except for like a step [TS]

00:48:12 ◼   ► grandpa who's a wonderful wonderful [TS]

00:48:14 ◼   ► wonderful step grandpa but uh but he's [TS]

00:48:18 ◼   ► one of those doting step grandmas who [TS]

00:48:20 ◼   ► does the like gets down on the floor and [TS]

00:48:22 ◼   ► plays cars with there for hours [TS]

00:48:25 ◼   ► whoo the thing that's like pretty I mean [TS]

00:48:28 ◼   ► a pretty great effort for a [TS]

00:48:29 ◼   ► seventy-five-year-old it's really boring [TS]

00:48:32 ◼   ► uh-huh and they don't know seriously [TS]

00:48:34 ◼   ► four-person right playing anything for [TS]

00:48:36 ◼   ► that long is really boring [TS]

00:48:37 ◼   ► well here's if they don't they don't [TS]

00:48:38 ◼   ► have they have cars they have toy cars [TS]

00:48:40 ◼   ► up there at grand grand parents house [TS]

00:48:42 ◼   ► but they don't have little [TS]

00:48:43 ◼   ► figures so they use marbles as people so [TS]

00:48:49 ◼   ► how do they coax the kid into being that [TS]

00:48:50 ◼   ► creative beat me they just start driving [TS]

00:48:53 ◼   ► around with marbles in the cars and the [TS]

00:48:55 ◼   ► liner wanna play with figures if they're [TS]

00:48:56 ◼   ► not the same scale i agree with her [TS]

00:49:00 ◼   ► you can't the big Wolverine a little [TS]

00:49:01 ◼   ► Wolverine together Oh unless there's [TS]

00:49:03 ◼   ► much there is a plausible story where [TS]

00:49:05 ◼   ► the big Wolverine is the daddy and the [TS]

00:49:07 ◼   ► little warmer regions the baby that's [TS]

00:49:08 ◼   ► actually really sweet she's never seen [TS]

00:49:09 ◼   ► dr. shrinker boy this is super [TS]

00:49:11 ◼   ► interesting so she's got an exit [TS]

00:49:12 ◼   ► strategy for you it sounds like yeah [TS]

00:49:14 ◼   ► right she is trying to shuffle me off to [TS]

00:49:16 ◼   ► Buffalo she's got the little she's got [TS]

00:49:18 ◼   ► the hook and it's coming from offstage [TS]

00:49:20 ◼   ► and I'm like mammy mammy and they're [TS]

00:49:24 ◼   ► like that and this is just what you know [TS]

00:49:27 ◼   ► about now [TS]

00:49:28 ◼   ► you don't know what else could have been [TS]

00:49:29 ◼   ► in the works for a while this is you [TS]

00:49:30 ◼   ► just hearing about it now who knows who [TS]

00:49:33 ◼   ► knows where this idea got into her head [TS]

00:49:35 ◼   ► and who knows what she thinks is gonna [TS]

00:49:38 ◼   ► happen but the way she's thought it [TS]

00:49:40 ◼   ► through [TS]

00:49:41 ◼   ► if daddy's out of the picture then life [TS]

00:49:46 ◼   ► is improved somehow and I think it's [TS]

00:49:49 ◼   ► improved by the fact that no one will [TS]

00:49:51 ◼   ► ever say no again who but that's pretty [TS]

00:49:54 ◼   ► sophisticated you know she's like she is [TS]

00:49:58 ◼   ► she's got a vision board and that vision [TS]

00:50:00 ◼   ► board is covered with pictures of miley [TS]

00:50:02 ◼   ► cyrus and no pictures of one direction [TS]

00:50:05 ◼   ► if she has a Pinterest and it has one [TS]

00:50:07 ◼   ► photo of you and you're on a plane with [TS]

00:50:08 ◼   ► your comfort turkey he exactly right [TS]

00:50:11 ◼   ► with my arm around a comfort turkey an [TS]

00:50:13 ◼   ► Arby's sandwich in my mouth and I'm [TS]

00:50:15 ◼   ► going elsewhere [TS]

00:50:17 ◼   ► I like see you later don't let the [TS]

00:50:22 ◼   ► doorknob pitch in the air [TS]

00:50:23 ◼   ► yeah so I'm a little bit i have to say a [TS]

00:50:26 ◼   ► little disconcerted because up until [TS]

00:50:29 ◼   ► that point I felt like we had a we had a [TS]

00:50:32 ◼   ► good arrangement which was that every [TS]

00:50:36 ◼   ► time she did something bad [TS]

00:50:39 ◼   ► I said no but she's got it all figured [TS]

00:50:44 ◼   ► out [TS]

00:50:44 ◼   ► I think she's probably gonna start [TS]

00:50:46 ◼   ► planting the seed and in other people in [TS]

00:50:48 ◼   ► the family's minds [TS]

00:50:49 ◼   ► wouldn't it be kinda good if daddy moved [TS]

00:50:54 ◼   ► yeah i mean and really if it's as [TS]

00:50:56 ◼   ► permissive environment as you make it [TS]

00:50:58 ◼   ► sound for around other people [TS]

00:51:00 ◼   ► there's really this is one person here [TS]

00:51:02 ◼   ► we need to gather this soon he might be [TS]

00:51:04 ◼   ► happier New York with this turkey well [TS]

00:51:05 ◼   ► and i don't i'm not saying that it's [TS]

00:51:07 ◼   ► necessarily permissive as much as it is [TS]

00:51:10 ◼   ► that there are no consequences [TS]

00:51:13 ◼   ► oh its ramifications sure so there are a [TS]

00:51:16 ◼   ► lot of people saying like tisk tisk when [TS]

00:51:20 ◼   ► she for instance throws a pudding [TS]

00:51:23 ◼   ► oh boy there's tsk-tsking happening [TS]

00:51:27 ◼   ► there's even some you know there's even [TS]

00:51:29 ◼   ► some sitting on the hard chair but as [TS]

00:51:31 ◼   ► soon as as soon as you get this sitting [TS]

00:51:35 ◼   ► on the hard chair others I mean that the [TS]

00:51:37 ◼   ► chairs and even hard but I get hard [TS]

00:51:39 ◼   ► compared to other chairs and it's known [TS]

00:51:41 ◼   ► as the chair you're sitting with [TS]

00:51:42 ◼   ► something goes wrong [TS]

00:51:42 ◼   ► well it's known as the hard chair oh but [TS]

00:51:44 ◼   ► I call it the hard chair just to [TS]

00:51:46 ◼   ► reinforce even though there's a cushion [TS]

00:51:47 ◼   ► on it to reinforce that they're sitting [TS]

00:51:49 ◼   ► on this chair [TS]

00:51:50 ◼   ► this is hard times but you know if she's [TS]

00:51:54 ◼   ► on the hard chair and she goes I'm you [TS]

00:51:57 ◼   ► know my butt hurts or something you know [TS]

00:52:00 ◼   ► it's she can get off the hard chair with [TS]

00:52:02 ◼   ► no you know with with me it's like we're [TS]

00:52:05 ◼   ► sitting on a hard chair until well she's [TS]

00:52:07 ◼   ► like she's my go-to drunk the keys the [TS]

00:52:10 ◼   ► keys to the cellar right over here she [TS]

00:52:11 ◼   ► just grabbed his I'm done being here [TS]

00:52:13 ◼   ► yeah I mean she knows that she can't do [TS]

00:52:15 ◼   ► that within the first 55 minutes of [TS]

00:52:18 ◼   ► being on the hard chair but won't begin [TS]

00:52:20 ◼   ► two minutes 6 who she's already you know [TS]

00:52:23 ◼   ► that this is the thing she's working an [TS]

00:52:25 ◼   ► angle at all times [TS]

00:52:26 ◼   ► she's a negotiator and that's when a kid [TS]

00:52:29 ◼   ► is a kid is an angle working machine out [TS]

00:52:31 ◼   ► there she's just working angles [TS]

00:52:33 ◼   ► yeah and daddys like listen I'm not [TS]

00:52:35 ◼   ► negotiating how many jellybeans you're [TS]

00:52:38 ◼   ► going to get after dinner before we even [TS]

00:52:41 ◼   ► sit down to dinner all brother John you [TS]

00:52:44 ◼   ► know my goodness this has become a [TS]

00:52:45 ◼   ► problem for us is this is not a game i'm [TS]

00:52:48 ◼   ► gonna play we're not talking about [TS]

00:52:49 ◼   ► we're not talking about what's happening [TS]

00:52:51 ◼   ► after the thing that we're still [TS]

00:52:53 ◼   ► struggling to accomplish [TS]

00:52:56 ◼   ► she's got grit you know she's got she's [TS]

00:52:59 ◼   ► good somebody's gonna write in new york [TS]

00:53:01 ◼   ► times article about her someday she's [TS]

00:53:02 ◼   ► got what it takes [TS]

00:53:03 ◼   ► she's got moxie she got moxie on the [TS]

00:53:05 ◼   ► ball and she's gonna mock see her way [TS]

00:53:07 ◼   ► right into some kind of she's gonna mock [TS]

00:53:10 ◼   ► here we're invited to get moving daddy [TS]

00:53:12 ◼   ► out and I was like what about daddy's [TS]

00:53:16 ◼   ► house what if you never come back to [TS]

00:53:17 ◼   ► daddy's house she's like that's fine i'd [TS]

00:53:19 ◼   ► get me you know I'd probably get going [TS]

00:53:21 ◼   ► straight for the emotional appeal i get [TS]

00:53:23 ◼   ► Ruby I'd get she says I get Ruby I'd [TS]

00:53:26 ◼   ► probably get a you know like basically [TS]

00:53:29 ◼   ► honk and ribbon are already at nana's [TS]

00:53:31 ◼   ► foo so all the reason these plush [TS]

00:53:33 ◼   ► animals know their dolls [TS]

00:53:35 ◼   ► ok like basically Ruby and what dolly [TS]

00:53:43 ◼   ► maybe oh boo boo bear would go [TS]

00:53:47 ◼   ► uh-huh and then she wasn't mostly [TS]

00:53:49 ◼   ► residing your residence as that their [TS]

00:53:51 ◼   ► residence halls at your house [TS]

00:53:53 ◼   ► these are my these are my dolls I got a [TS]

00:53:55 ◼   ► plan i got a plan for you and she would [TS]

00:53:57 ◼   ► you know she would lock the door [TS]

00:53:59 ◼   ► you know if she knew how she would toss [TS]

00:54:01 ◼   ► the key in the bushes and she might like [TS]

00:54:04 ◼   ► she might take some oil filled [TS]

00:54:06 ◼   ► oil-soaked rags and stuff them in the [TS]

00:54:08 ◼   ► fireplace flue she get up there [TS]

00:54:11 ◼   ► ok here's what you do it could be one of [TS]

00:54:13 ◼   ► the dolls your house it could be one of [TS]

00:54:14 ◼   ► the auxiliary dollars in another house [TS]

00:54:16 ◼   ► one of those dolls you put in the barn [TS]

00:54:18 ◼   ► for a little while you know tell her and [TS]

00:54:20 ◼   ► she's been that she's looking for for [TS]

00:54:21 ◼   ► ribbon but or whatever you say oh you [TS]

00:54:23 ◼   ► oh I guess I should tell you a ribbon [TS]

00:54:26 ◼   ► ribbon now left for New York didn't [TS]

00:54:28 ◼   ► leave a note [TS]

00:54:28 ◼   ► roar and now she's gonna be all what you [TS]

00:54:31 ◼   ► going to use some of that hard chair [TS]

00:54:33 ◼   ► that's lost and feeling lost and you [TS]

00:54:34 ◼   ► want to leave now [TS]

00:54:35 ◼   ► right right you're going to work the [TS]

00:54:38 ◼   ► emotional angle i think you gotta really [TS]

00:54:39 ◼   ► gotta get that wedge in there [TS]

00:54:41 ◼   ► yeah I think she would still say yeah go [TS]

00:54:43 ◼   ► ahead sorry it hit the road jack m [TS]

00:54:46 ◼   ► because when you're gone since you've [TS]

00:54:49 ◼   ► been God donor I don't have to do any [TS]

00:54:53 ◼   ► bad things known that since you been [TS]

00:54:57 ◼   ► gone well Rose everyday cool yeah but [TS]

00:55:02 ◼   ► she's got a lot figured out she does [TS]

00:55:04 ◼   ► first of all I I I showed up late to a [TS]

00:55:06 ◼   ► restaurant and she was sitting there [TS]

00:55:08 ◼   ► with my mom already just [TS]

00:55:10 ◼   ► three of us and she had already managed [TS]

00:55:14 ◼   ► to order macaroni and cheese and get [TS]

00:55:16 ◼   ► this goldfish crackers restaurants don't [TS]

00:55:20 ◼   ► have goldfish crackers that's what i [TS]

00:55:21 ◼   ► thought what [TS]

00:55:23 ◼   ► but I'm like goldfish crackers Marlo [TS]

00:55:24 ◼   ► cost one sent one cent for a grocery bag [TS]

00:55:29 ◼   ► full of a goldfish crackers it's not a [TS]

00:55:31 ◼   ► thing we get into restaurant week and [TS]

00:55:33 ◼   ► broccoli side a railing and that you had [TS]

00:55:36 ◼   ► it you had an item on your bill for [TS]

00:55:38 ◼   ► goldfish crackers / yes they just [TS]

00:55:40 ◼   ► brought by biases for the table [TS]

00:55:42 ◼   ► no no it's like it yes the giant Bowl [TS]

00:55:45 ◼   ► truck chex mix [TS]

00:55:47 ◼   ► no it was uh it was like here's the kids [TS]

00:55:50 ◼   ► menu you can pick an entree and aside [TS]

00:55:53 ◼   ► and a drink and before I even arrived at [TS]

00:55:56 ◼   ► the table she's like macaroni cheese [TS]

00:55:57 ◼   ► goldfish crackers lemonade what and [TS]

00:56:00 ◼   ► everybody your your mother allow that my [TS]

00:56:04 ◼   ► mom's just sitting there just just like [TS]

00:56:06 ◼   ► popping up at all [TS]

00:56:07 ◼   ► there's nothing for your daughter to [TS]

00:56:08 ◼   ► dislike in that what's the point of [TS]

00:56:09 ◼   ► doing a thing unless there's something [TS]

00:56:10 ◼   ► for your kid to be opposed to thank you [TS]

00:56:13 ◼   ► precisely holy shit right there anything [TS]

00:56:15 ◼   ► else you want to go right on a fucking [TS]

00:56:17 ◼   ► slide [TS]

00:56:18 ◼   ► yeah how about a milkshake you want how [TS]

00:56:20 ◼   ► about there's a few things on here is [TS]

00:56:21 ◼   ► one thing you really enjoy there's one [TS]

00:56:23 ◼   ► thing you can tolerate there's one thing [TS]

00:56:24 ◼   ► you hate that's going out to dinner [TS]

00:56:25 ◼   ► vegas it's still you sit still with your [TS]

00:56:28 ◼   ► hands in your lap like a gentleman [TS]

00:56:29 ◼   ► yeah and if you if you brought a little [TS]

00:56:32 ◼   ► talent man of some kind of little little [TS]

00:56:35 ◼   ► tiny doll that's the size of a [TS]

00:56:37 ◼   ► ladyfinger yeah you may you may keep it [TS]

00:56:39 ◼   ► in your lap and quietly interact with it [TS]

00:56:41 ◼   ► while we talk about the different routes [TS]

00:56:45 ◼   ► we took across town to get their richest [TS]

00:56:48 ◼   ► you know that's what my mom and your mom [TS]

00:56:49 ◼   ► that's here that's your intercourse is [TS]

00:56:51 ◼   ► the social intercourse with your mom [TS]

00:56:52 ◼   ► yeah so what what route did you take [TS]

00:56:53 ◼   ► right you guys are being on the route [TS]

00:56:55 ◼   ► talk i want to end the thing is so [TS]

00:56:57 ◼   ► should our shows so should my daughter [TS]

00:56:59 ◼   ► she should be curious you should be let [TS]

00:57:00 ◼   ► park up sit up sit up in that hard chair [TS]

00:57:02 ◼   ► and listen listen to listen to the route [TS]

00:57:04 ◼   ► talk [TS]

00:57:05 ◼   ► the thing is if you don't learn how to [TS]

00:57:06 ◼   ► talk about routes what are you going to [TS]

00:57:07 ◼   ► talk about when you're growing up I've [TS]

00:57:08 ◼   ► raising have an iphone 7 iphone well [TS]

00:57:11 ◼   ► yeah you still got to talk to people [TS]

00:57:13 ◼   ► right i mean a little bit at least [TS]

00:57:15 ◼   ► oh it's important to learn small talks [TS]

00:57:17 ◼   ► over people learn small talk like they [TS]

00:57:19 ◼   ► used to [TS]

00:57:20 ◼   ► usually not even just small talk but [TS]

00:57:22 ◼   ► yeah it's small talk is the wrong works [TS]

00:57:24 ◼   ► it's not exactly small talk is the the [TS]

00:57:27 ◼   ► fucking cashier at safeway that I want [TS]

00:57:29 ◼   ► to strangle who always wants to talk to [TS]

00:57:30 ◼   ► me about my groceries and it makes me [TS]

00:57:31 ◼   ► makes me insane she comment yesterday [TS]

00:57:33 ◼   ► she commented on my shirt she had [TS]

00:57:34 ◼   ► questions about my shirt [TS]

00:57:36 ◼   ► well put up what did you want to know Oh [TS]

00:57:38 ◼   ► pizza dog [TS]

00:57:41 ◼   ► well what's that I said I said what I [TS]

00:57:44 ◼   ► always say [TS]

00:57:44 ◼   ► uh-huh just be very specific question no [TS]

00:57:46 ◼   ► party tonight and I go what what what is [TS]

00:57:49 ◼   ► pizza dog was just thinking a short [TS]

00:57:51 ◼   ► about comic i see but you're not wrong [TS]

00:57:54 ◼   ► to ask [TS]

00:57:55 ◼   ► she's wrong and she's got completely [TS]

00:57:58 ◼   ► untreated a.d.d which is the wrong kind [TS]

00:58:00 ◼   ► of the I don't like to diagnose people [TS]

00:58:01 ◼   ► John but this woman this woman is she's [TS]

00:58:03 ◼   ► a dumpster fire as a cashier and she's [TS]

00:58:05 ◼   ► the worst and she's all she asked about [TS]

00:58:07 ◼   ► i think they tell them at safeway they [TS]

00:58:09 ◼   ► tell them ask people about their items [TS]

00:58:12 ◼   ► and congratulate them on their [TS]

00:58:13 ◼   ► selections right oh this minute rice is [TS]

00:58:16 ◼   ► really good at cooking like a minute [TS]

00:58:18 ◼   ► thank you [TS]

00:58:19 ◼   ► Oh goldfish crackers it you know kids [TS]

00:58:21 ◼   ► love these oh my god thank you [TS]

00:58:23 ◼   ► that's amazing so but that's part of it [TS]

00:58:27 ◼   ► you know it's an ugliness but i do feel [TS]

00:58:29 ◼   ► like there has to be what's your word [TS]

00:58:31 ◼   ► friction there has to be a little bit of [TS]

00:58:33 ◼   ► resistance and you know I'm not great at [TS]

00:58:35 ◼   ► this I'm very indulgent person i'm a [TS]

00:58:37 ◼   ► very indulgent father but I also know [TS]

00:58:40 ◼   ► that even if things go perfectly there [TS]

00:58:42 ◼   ► will always still be a breaking point [TS]

00:58:43 ◼   ► out that one of those great times [TS]

00:58:45 ◼   ► because I would have a good time too [TS]

00:58:46 ◼   ► let's have now let's have a little more [TS]

00:58:47 ◼   ► cake yay one more Bob's Burgers hooray [TS]

00:58:49 ◼   ► but like it's all good ended tears [TS]

00:58:52 ◼   ► that's how it always ends and knowing [TS]

00:58:53 ◼   ► that you you're not going to forestall [TS]

00:58:56 ◼   ► any child unhappiness and you're not [TS]

00:58:58 ◼   ► going to create any child growth by [TS]

00:59:00 ◼   ► creating an entirely conducive [TS]

00:59:02 ◼   ► environment you have just said a [TS]

00:59:05 ◼   ► mouthful [TS]

00:59:06 ◼   ► yeah yeah lemonade really I time [TS]

00:59:10 ◼   ► somebody got into her mind that lemonade [TS]

00:59:12 ◼   ► was some sort of health drink my [TS]

00:59:13 ◼   ► daughters had lemonade maybe thrice my [TS]

00:59:16 ◼   ► daughter has still not had a coke or [TS]

00:59:18 ◼   ► similar beverage she wanted she I almost [TS]

00:59:21 ◼   ► got to try ice tea ones uh yes milk she [TS]

00:59:25 ◼   ► drinks water and then she drinks like a [TS]

00:59:27 ◼   ► fair amount of hot chocolate [TS]

00:59:29 ◼   ► I start well see ok I chocolate has [TS]

00:59:32 ◼   ► become kind of a staple in the house I'm [TS]

00:59:34 ◼   ► not sure it's been a good move i see how [TS]

00:59:36 ◼   ► it is in your family [TS]

00:59:37 ◼   ► I I do not [TS]

00:59:41 ◼   ► she's never had a coke right but she was [TS]

00:59:44 ◼   ► drinking milk everyday at her age [TS]

00:59:46 ◼   ► oh my god i had so many code you have a [TS]

00:59:47 ◼   ► Pepsi drinker uh you know I took the [TS]

00:59:50 ◼   ► Pepsi challenge once [TS]

00:59:51 ◼   ► yeah i was on a i was on a hovercraft [TS]

00:59:54 ◼   ► here you know your hovercraft somebody [TS]

00:59:57 ◼   ► after the Pepsi challenge i was on a [TS]

00:59:59 ◼   ► hovercraft we drink [TS]

00:59:59 ◼   ► hovercraft we drink [TS]

01:00:00 ◼   ► at the time I was drinking at the time [TS]

01:00:02 ◼   ► and I missed out on boats times before [TS]

01:00:05 ◼   ► right I have passed out on on on ferry [TS]

01:00:08 ◼   ► boats yes okay but this is a this was a [TS]

01:00:11 ◼   ► hovercraft i did not pass out on it [TS]

01:00:13 ◼   ► ok I and i'm walking around it's a big [TS]

01:00:16 ◼   ► hovercraft and someone says hey you want [TS]

01:00:20 ◼   ► a Pepsi challenge and I'm in a different [TS]