Roderick on the Line

Ep. 192: "King of Tahiti"


00:00:00   this set is the show this episode of [TS]

00:00:03   Roderick on the line is sponsored by [TS]

00:00:05   cards against community this week they [TS]

00:00:07   asked James T green to help say hi to [TS]

00:00:09   john overcome [TS]

00:00:12   [Music] [TS]

00:00:23   hello hi John hi Moreland how's it going [TS]

00:00:29   mmm mmm it's so good to be back [TS]

00:00:34   oh you're sick i belittle sick you right [TS]

00:00:40   you're still sick [TS]

00:00:41   it was a it was a bad one it was a it [TS]

00:00:45   was a virus has snuck past see I got a [TS]

00:00:49   flu shot wasn't a flu virus it was a [TS]

00:00:53   other virus no mystery virus that snuck [TS]

00:00:57   past every all of my defenses and then [TS]

00:01:00   conned me into thinking it was just a [TS]

00:01:02   normal cold for a couple of days [TS]

00:01:05   oh my my battery won't start my family's [TS]

00:01:09   in the car down here to interview for a [TS]

00:01:11   job [TS]

00:01:11   yep yep exactly hey classic fan belt my [TS]

00:01:15   fan belt fuckinf and I got a fan belt [TS]

00:01:18   right here to prove it also must be a [TS]

00:01:20   teacher right so it's one o'clock in the [TS]

00:01:23   morning and i'm usually once again I [TS]

00:01:24   story seemed like a nice virus your [TS]

00:01:26   cleaner articulate sure come on in [TS]

00:01:28   yeah so I had a little sore throat a [TS]

00:01:29   little stuffy nose and then in the [TS]

00:01:32   middle of the night I was a hundred and [TS]

00:01:33   four degrees and then I was freezing [TS]

00:01:35   cold and then I was honored for degrees [TS]

00:01:37   and I was like this is no normal cold [TS]

00:01:40   man and then I had a fever for three [TS]

00:01:42   days and then I went to the doctor [TS]

00:01:45   oh shit i don't do know and I was like [TS]

00:01:48   you gotta be kidding me with this [TS]

00:01:50   let me guess you told you you had a [TS]

00:01:52   virus but dr. it was a she and she said [TS]

00:01:54   you have a virus and she said with us [TS]

00:01:56   like a smirk on her face like she knows [TS]

00:01:58   you're sure it's yeah she was like ya [TS]

00:02:00   know you're sick are ya good you came to [TS]

00:02:04   the doctor [TS]

00:02:04   yeah happens sometimes you good thing he [TS]

00:02:06   came it is a good thing you came because [TS]

00:02:09   it could have been something worse and [TS]

00:02:10   that's why we ordered all these tests [TS]

00:02:12   but she did an amazing thing she hooked [TS]

00:02:14   me up to an IV and gave me a whole bag [TS]

00:02:16   of what is probably you know radon [TS]

00:02:20   medical benefits medical grade right on [TS]

00:02:24   yeah but a plump me right back up and I [TS]

00:02:26   was like oh I was dehydrated in addition [TS]

00:02:29   to being all these other things feverish [TS]

00:02:31   and me shitting me the actually [TS]

00:02:32   connected connected you up to a bag just [TS]

00:02:34   the old me up with what saline and they [TS]

00:02:36   need [TS]

00:02:36   better i felt better i mean i didn't [TS]

00:02:38   feel great no no but I mean I would do [TS]

00:02:40   anything to not feel terrible [TS]

00:02:42   yeah just get hooked up to a bag once in [TS]

00:02:43   awhile and feel better that was the [TS]

00:02:45   thing i SAT there and I was like can you [TS]

00:02:46   throw some vitamin b12 in that too and [TS]

00:02:49   whatever else give me some of that shit [TS]

00:02:51   that Kennedy had all the Kennedy shit [TS]

00:02:53   the addison yes fighter [TS]

00:02:55   yeah give me the give me the Hitler shit [TS]

00:02:57   in the Kennedy shit and I'll go out and [TS]

00:02:58   run for president [TS]

00:03:00   anyway so I'm on the mend but here's the [TS]

00:03:04   here's the caveat which is that i may [TS]

00:03:08   explode into a coughing fit that no one [TS]

00:03:11   wants to hear and as you know i don't [TS]

00:03:13   have a cough button so if it happens I [TS]

00:03:17   don't know whether you can insert some [TS]

00:03:20   hold music or cut it out or whatever it [TS]

00:03:23   is the I think it could probably guess [TS]

00:03:24   what i'm gonna do i'm just gonna listen [TS]

00:03:26   listen politely [TS]

00:03:28   oh but it's so this is a very real cough [TS]

00:03:32   that I have right now which is a which [TS]

00:03:33   is a cough where I am I'm off-gassing [TS]

00:03:36   right examples insurance it's not gas i [TS]

00:03:40   am yeah i'm i'm usin xing it's [TS]

00:03:43   productive cough it up that's exactly [TS]

00:03:45   right it's a productive cough so i'm not [TS]

00:03:47   sure that our listeners around the world [TS]

00:03:49   are prepared for what it sounds like [TS]

00:03:50   when someone in seattle offloads yeah [TS]

00:03:55   you guys think these umbrellas [TS]

00:03:56   yeah offload some of that moisture that [TS]

00:03:58   i collected when they put me on a bag I [TS]

00:04:03   realize you're in a vulnerable place [TS]

00:04:05   right now this is too philosophical of a [TS]

00:04:07   question feel free to secure it going on [TS]

00:04:09   I'm just curious i know you like to [TS]

00:04:11   avoid you know intoxicants strategy for [TS]

00:04:13   purposes of intoxication you don't even [TS]

00:04:15   generally like to take cold medicine [TS]

00:04:16   true [TS]

00:04:17   Howard is saline from a Mad Max bag what [TS]

00:04:21   does that fall on your spectrum of [TS]

00:04:22   acceptable things to bring your body you [TS]

00:04:25   know this is a very good question [TS]

00:04:26   because I'm very [TS]

00:04:30   in toxicants I don't partake of because [TS]

00:04:34   they are they present a risk to me I [TS]

00:04:38   feel [TS]

00:04:38   mhm whereas a bag of ceiling it's [TS]

00:04:44   unlikely enough that i'll have a that i [TS]

00:04:47   befriend or street friend that knows how [TS]

00:04:50   to put an IV in and has a bag of saline [TS]

00:04:54   or can make it available and it didn't [TS]

00:04:58   make me feel that amazing it was just [TS]

00:05:00   like oh shit that what that's like I [TS]

00:05:02   just drank six cups of water [TS]

00:05:04   alright if you're still part of this is [TS]

00:05:06   dehydration when you get not even all [TS]

00:05:08   that [TS]

00:05:08   yeah you're just like I don't want to go [TS]

00:05:10   downstairs and drink water and shivering [TS]

00:05:12   I'm just so you and then everybody says [TS]

00:05:15   you gotta keep hydrated got to keep you [TS]

00:05:16   hydrated [TS]

00:05:17   it's like I'm fine I'm fine but I had [TS]

00:05:20   I'd run down so I i'm ok with i'm ok [TS]

00:05:23   with sailing but this is one of those [TS]

00:05:24   this is a deeper question I think you're [TS]

00:05:27   asking is kind of a deeper question [TS]

00:05:29   because yeah go ahead but I i think [TS]

00:05:31   there's two things at least two parts to [TS]

00:05:33   it with you [TS]

00:05:34   mmm and it started out as one and became [TS]

00:05:36   another winning first watch want to say [TS]

00:05:39   I think the idea that max bags terrific [TS]

00:05:41   idea i think he did the right thing I [TS]

00:05:43   think even you put some vitamins in [TS]

00:05:44   there I don't think that's so bad right [TS]

00:05:46   what I hear you saying is there is a [TS]

00:05:47   time when substances were trouble for me [TS]

00:05:51   and I know to avoid certain i [TS]

00:05:53   deliberately deliberately ingesting [TS]

00:05:55   something to make me feel very different [TS]

00:05:57   on whatever level so obviously this [TS]

00:06:00   nonsense i also think there's something [TS]

00:06:01   to it it's more from your like your [TS]

00:06:05   Alaskan stock which is you're like I [TS]

00:06:07   want to see if I can do this whole thing [TS]

00:06:09   without the epidural like I want to see [TS]

00:06:12   I don't even want something even if it's [TS]

00:06:13   something that's been nine even if it's [TS]

00:06:15   a placebo don't want to placebo because [TS]

00:06:19   i could think I could do without right [TS]

00:06:23   and and you know if I were a woman I [TS]

00:06:25   know that and I were pregnant I know [TS]

00:06:27   that I would want to have the baby the [TS]

00:06:30   old-fashioned way and screaming that's [TS]

00:06:32   right screaming and habits or ruin my [TS]

00:06:34   body as it happens because that's how [TS]

00:06:38   God intended [TS]

00:06:41   haha and there are plenty plenty of [TS]

00:06:46   people that I respect very much they're [TS]

00:06:48   like are you crazy [TS]

00:06:49   if you have a caesarean section you can [TS]

00:06:51   schedule the moment the baby arrives [TS]

00:06:54   go to the hospital go to sleep and when [TS]

00:06:58   you wake up there's a baby there and [TS]

00:06:59   everything was monitored and it is in [TS]

00:07:02   your you know and you did not get split [TS]

00:07:06   in half by a giant bubble of fat huh [TS]

00:07:12   um and and that makes perfect sense to [TS]

00:07:16   me and it is like that technology is [TS]

00:07:18   here why do why not employ it but i but [TS]

00:07:23   I still personally would not find that [TS]

00:07:25   convincing because I would think that in [TS]

00:07:28   the experience of having a kid there [TS]

00:07:29   would be some mystery that i would [TS]

00:07:31   unlock some lasting reverberation in me [TS]

00:07:35   and the kid that couldn't be duplicated [TS]

00:07:37   if nothing else you might always wonder [TS]

00:07:39   what it would have been like yeah and i [TS]

00:07:41   think the cesarean people are like yeah [TS]

00:07:43   uh-huh okay well i think i can handle [TS]

00:07:45   imagining what are you know you're [TS]

00:07:48   pining for what it was like but I you [TS]

00:07:52   know I was healed in two days and and [TS]

00:07:56   could walk fine immediately and you know [TS]

00:07:58   so forth and so on so there are all [TS]

00:08:01   kinds of arguments like why don't you [TS]

00:08:05   use the most current technology why [TS]

00:08:08   haven't i got LASIK surgery for instance [TS]

00:08:10   walking around with glasses they no [TS]

00:08:14   longer really work for me because my [TS]

00:08:16   eyes are becoming dried-up little corn [TS]

00:08:19   husks why wouldn't I years ago i've [TS]

00:08:23   gotten it gotten gone and gotten laser [TS]

00:08:25   surgery uh-huh and you know there's a [TS]

00:08:28   there's a there's a part of me that [TS]

00:08:31   feels like what if I'm trying to be an [TS]

00:08:36   astronaut and they're scanning me to see [TS]

00:08:41   if I am one of the genetically pure and [TS]

00:08:46   I see some kind of got Academy don't [TS]

00:08:49   think they go oh we've detected in [TS]

00:08:50   cyborg technology [TS]

00:08:51   yeah we've seen that you shaved your [TS]

00:08:53   eyes and if you have to [TS]

00:08:54   save your eyes that means you're not one [TS]

00:08:57   of the one of the goods could be [TS]

00:08:59   something as simple as you can you can't [TS]

00:09:00   handle the your eyes couldn't handle the [TS]

00:09:03   pressure of takeoff or it could just be [TS]

00:09:06   you know what you're not really up for [TS]

00:09:08   this if your eyes shaved you should be [TS]

00:09:10   should be done in the commissary [TS]

00:09:11   well that's the thing it's just the [TS]

00:09:12   nature of the fact that your eyes were [TS]

00:09:14   miss shapen means that you are [TS]

00:09:15   genetically inferior right that because [TS]

00:09:17   the the perfect the perfect aren't [TS]

00:09:20   perfect now of course if they're [TS]

00:09:22   measuring that type of thing they would [TS]

00:09:23   recognize my eyes were misshapen already [TS]

00:09:26   and besides i'm 47 I'm not gonna be an [TS]

00:09:29   astronaut but it but it's that lingering [TS]

00:09:32   sense of like don't modify your closer [TS]

00:09:34   to having your ashes shot on the canon [TS]

00:09:35   essbase than you are to getting to ride [TS]

00:09:37   and take off [TS]

00:09:38   yeah i'm i'm hoping that one of our [TS]

00:09:40   listeners who works for NASA will name a [TS]

00:09:42   star after me but that was in control he [TS]

00:09:47   was keeping that one in control i added [TS]

00:09:49   some great [TS]

00:09:50   oh thank you so there's that and that [TS]

00:09:53   you know and that extends to like I [TS]

00:09:54   don't have any tattoos obviously but I [TS]

00:09:58   can't argue with anybody that does but [TS]

00:10:02   then we get into the category of [TS]

00:10:03   elective surgery which is akin to the I [TS]

00:10:10   shaving but like where is the word is [TS]

00:10:14   the line on elective surgery lay for me [TS]

00:10:17   and or lie i just know which is which [TS]

00:10:22   one would you use in that situation i [TS]

00:10:24   always i used the wrong one entire which [TS]

00:10:26   we're with the line lie [TS]

00:10:28   yes we're with the line lie and you're [TS]

00:10:32   talking about an entire spectrum of [TS]

00:10:33   different kinds of like so what kind of [TS]

00:10:35   surgery which is if we don't take out [TS]

00:10:37   your gallbladder and there's like an [TS]

00:10:39   eighty percent chance you'll die in the [TS]

00:10:40   next month [TS]

00:10:41   who and I kind of non-elective you [TS]

00:10:43   really know you [TS]

00:10:44   we have the technology we can do this [TS]

00:10:46   your chances of living and having a good [TS]

00:10:48   life are better if we do this surgery [TS]

00:10:50   right it's over here right when you get [TS]

00:10:52   them wet very very far far far far far [TS]

00:10:54   end of the spectrum washing in trouble [TS]

00:10:56   for this [TS]

00:10:56   yeah but you've got like a re-up of [TS]

00:11:00   something like Botox yeah or you've got [TS]

00:11:04   you know like reflect freshening up a [TS]

00:11:07   plastic eggs [TS]

00:11:08   listing plastic surgery who and then all [TS]

00:11:11   along the way on the spectrum you got [TS]

00:11:12   all kinds of things where you got stuff [TS]

00:11:14   like you know if there's certain kinds [TS]

00:11:15   of surgery you know sometimes when you [TS]

00:11:16   go into these especially going to like [TS]

00:11:17   these certain kinds of doctors with an [TS]

00:11:19   orthodontist or you go into a a what's [TS]

00:11:23   the what's the what's the doctors to the [TS]

00:11:24   face surgery plastic surgery like more [TS]

00:11:26   plastic surgery then looking like a cat [TS]

00:11:29   lady look like that could be like we we [TS]

00:11:31   help you after a mastectomy to have like [TS]

00:11:33   you know what bus line that you can be [TS]

00:11:34   happy with there's all kinds of things [TS]

00:11:36   and plastic surgery that go way beyond [TS]

00:11:37   just like I'm a horrible person from Los [TS]

00:11:39   Angeles but sometimes I think what they [TS]

00:11:41   will do is they will also get your car [TS]

00:11:43   fixed it's like hey you know as long as [TS]

00:11:44   we're pulling the engine we probably [TS]

00:11:47   want to look at a couple other things [TS]

00:11:48   too because we're not gonna pull the [TS]

00:11:49   engine that many times and there's some [TS]

00:11:51   things where you may not need it but we [TS]

00:11:53   could do it as a precaution you see [TS]

00:11:55   where I'm going with this since we're in [TS]

00:11:56   there anyway so for instance like my [TS]

00:11:59   teeth don't fit together and the doctors [TS]

00:12:02   have been telling me for years that the [TS]

00:12:04   first thing they wanted to do [TS]

00:12:06   from the time I was 17 they're like we [TS]

00:12:08   gotta break this kids jaw and reset it [TS]

00:12:11   in a different place so his teeth [TS]

00:12:14   together and I was like even at the time [TS]

00:12:16   I felt like that seems crazy they're [TS]

00:12:19   like no no it's very routine we just [TS]

00:12:22   break your jaw and move it back and fit [TS]

00:12:26   your teeth together and then we you know [TS]

00:12:28   saw some part of your job and put it [TS]

00:12:30   back together you phrase it like that it [TS]

00:12:32   sounds you know we see it as break your [TS]

00:12:35   jaw it sounds like you know Lu's gonna [TS]

00:12:36   come in and give you a good stock to the [TS]

00:12:38   to the face yeah but it's like cut both [TS]

00:12:40   sides of your John take some part of it [TS]

00:12:42   out but it's serious you know I have a [TS]

00:12:43   person very near and dear to me in my [TS]

00:12:44   life who had a procedure yeah yeah and [TS]

00:12:46   there was it's a its enormous and a huge [TS]

00:12:49   deal [TS]

00:12:49   it felt like a huge deal that's exactly [TS]

00:12:51   right and then as I got older they [TS]

00:12:54   started saying that i granted to they [TS]

00:12:56   kept every dentist was like oh we got it [TS]

00:12:58   we got to cut your jaw in half and move [TS]

00:13:00   it back and I was like yeah yeah and [TS]

00:13:03   then I started talking to some some oral [TS]

00:13:07   surgeons who are like no no we don't [TS]

00:13:09   break your jaw move it back anymore [TS]

00:13:11   what we do is we cut off your upper [TS]

00:13:14   palate [TS]

00:13:15   yeah entirely we cut your hole we saw [TS]

00:13:18   your top layer of teeth [TS]

00:13:20   off completely from your skull and move [TS]

00:13:23   them forward we move your top teeth [TS]

00:13:26   forward so they fit with your bottom [TS]

00:13:28   teeth because what happened was not that [TS]

00:13:30   your jaw grew too much which is what we [TS]

00:13:33   thought had happened but it was the top [TS]

00:13:35   of your that's that seems really extreme [TS]

00:13:38   the top of your mouth face failed to [TS]

00:13:41   grow enough it seems like mowing your [TS]

00:13:45   lawn by making the neighborhood move [TS]

00:13:46   around under your house [TS]

00:13:47   oh I mean really doesn't that seem even [TS]

00:13:50   more extreme [TS]

00:13:51   I don't know break into saw your jaw or [TS]

00:13:53   cut the top of your head off i mean i [TS]

00:13:54   don't know i don't a bit of both things [TS]

00:13:57   seem crazy [TS]

00:13:58   yeah but what they were saying was that [TS]

00:14:01   it would it would make my teeth fit [TS]

00:14:06   better together which would which would [TS]

00:14:08   increase the longevity of my teeth [TS]

00:14:10   because right now the way they fit [TS]

00:14:12   together i'm slowly grinding them apart [TS]

00:14:14   and i'm going to grind my face apart [TS]

00:14:16   until it's just a soul patch touching a [TS]

00:14:20   nose and at every opportunity I've said [TS]

00:14:25   I don't don't want more performant even [TS]

00:14:30   say chin he said soul back just a soul [TS]

00:14:33   patch tickling your nose [TS]

00:14:35   hey guys however harbor I didn't want it [TS]

00:14:38   and you heard the new fastball you know [TS]

00:14:41   the last time I talked to dentist about [TS]

00:14:43   it i was 46 and I said I'm 46 imap [TS]

00:14:47   weight of the goal line and they were [TS]

00:14:50   like you're gonna need those teeth [TS]

00:14:51   I was like yeah i know but i'm hoping [TS]

00:14:53   that technology somewhere along the line [TS]

00:14:55   can give me aluminum teeth your teeth [TS]

00:14:58   that are made of Plexiglas that have [TS]

00:15:00   little goldfish swimming in them or [TS]

00:15:01   something cool [TS]

00:15:02   who r I don't have to you don't have to [TS]

00:15:05   saw either part of my face and they just [TS]

00:15:08   shrug and go well that's what we do and [TS]

00:15:09   I'm like exactly that's what you do [TS]

00:15:13   right it's a failure of your imagination [TS]

00:15:14   that's why you drive a porsche 911 [TS]

00:15:17   because you saw people spaces in half [TS]

00:15:21   I don't see it as a necessity but when [TS]

00:15:26   the guy said he was going to move the [TS]

00:15:27   top of my face [TS]

00:15:29   forward I did have a thought which was [TS]

00:15:32   that is gonna make my mustache look very [TS]

00:15:36   cool [TS]

00:15:37   oh because it's gonna push my mustache [TS]

00:15:40   out a little bit and I've always felt [TS]

00:15:44   like what now that you mention it I've [TS]

00:15:47   always felt like that my top the area [TS]

00:15:51   between the bottom of my nose in the top [TS]

00:15:52   of my lip was a little too small i had [TS]

00:15:56   always I'd never I guess I had never [TS]

00:15:59   thought of it that way [TS]

00:16:00   you didn't because you really know [TS]

00:16:01   you're introducing something very [TS]

00:16:02   interesting here which is really truly [TS]

00:16:04   thinking about your face as having three [TS]

00:16:06   dimensions right kind of this instead of [TS]

00:16:09   saying like oh here's a here's a rough [TS]

00:16:11   drawing of an oval with some dots on it [TS]

00:16:13   uses a three-dimensional thing you're [TS]

00:16:15   talking about adding architectural [TS]

00:16:16   e-learning more bioavailable mustache [TS]

00:16:19   surface so we hit so what happened was [TS]

00:16:21   from a young age I wanted a mustache [TS]

00:16:23   when I was 17 I wanted a mustache and of [TS]

00:16:26   course God realized that this was [TS]

00:16:29   something I wanted and God was going to [TS]

00:16:31   deny this to me because that's the [TS]

00:16:33   mysterious way that God works it's true [TS]

00:16:35   he wants to put obstacles in front of [TS]

00:16:37   you in order to you know test team and [TS]

00:16:41   so I have studied men's mustaches over [TS]

00:16:44   the years very closely and all the most [TS]

00:16:47   ashes that you'd like the Tom Selleck's [TS]

00:16:50   of the world if you look at Tom Selleck [TS]

00:16:52   he has an enormous area between the [TS]

00:16:55   bottom of his nose in the top of his lip [TS]

00:16:57   it's a fucking soccer field you are [TS]

00:17:00   you're changing the whole way I think [TS]

00:17:02   about mustaches and you're filling in a [TS]

00:17:04   lot of holes for why mustaches look [TS]

00:17:06   weird sometimes [TS]

00:17:07   yeah so he's got this huge areas got [TS]

00:17:09   this big mustache it looks great and [TS]

00:17:12   then you start looking at men's faces [TS]

00:17:15   and you say uh this area between the [TS]

00:17:18   bottom of the nose and the top of the [TS]

00:17:19   lip is a very crucial area for men to [TS]

00:17:22   look trustworthy and capable if you look [TS]

00:17:26   at door but the Greek he's got a big [TS]

00:17:28   area there like all the guys that you [TS]

00:17:30   instinctively go how this guy is going [TS]

00:17:32   to handle things thinking about thinking [TS]

00:17:34   about Sam Elliott Samuel it's got a huge [TS]

00:17:36   area [TS]

00:17:37   he's got a huge area which can [TS]

00:17:38   accommodate eight a frankly enormous [TS]

00:17:41   mustache you the future [TS]

00:17:42   tried to grow a what-do-you-call-it area [TS]

00:17:45   between your lips in your nose and the [TS]

00:17:46   top of your hunger under knows your mind [TS]

00:17:49   your mustache holder moustache if you're [TS]

00:17:51   you know what I mean the conveyance the [TS]

00:17:52   budget motherfucker your-your-your [TS]

00:17:55   trough you got you got you got your hair [TS]

00:17:57   trough under your nose if that is even [TS]

00:18:00   just on my gosh it's just my co meters [TS]

00:18:02   too small you're not gonna be able to do [TS]

00:18:05   too much with that and so gonna be like [TS]

00:18:06   one of those guys you can't really grow [TS]

00:18:08   a beard but keep trying to grow up here [TS]

00:18:09   and you're like you just feel like a [TS]

00:18:10   gray stop doing that [TS]

00:18:12   yes so I so my whole my whole young life [TS]

00:18:14   21 24 26 I got a big huge beard I got a [TS]

00:18:20   big beard shaped face and I've got this [TS]

00:18:23   little teeny little you know like hand [TS]

00:18:27   strap this little blonde sort of wispy [TS]

00:18:32   little moustache that's in an area too [TS]

00:18:35   small to contain a mustache and there's [TS]

00:18:38   nothing you can do about that nothing I [TS]

00:18:40   can do about it and so all of all the [TS]

00:18:42   great mustaches [TS]

00:18:45   I was just like yeah you know Rob [TS]

00:18:49   Delaney the comedian if you look at Rob [TS]

00:18:52   Delaney he's got a huge nose trough huge [TS]

00:18:55   mustache trough doing Rob Delaney is a [TS]

00:18:59   famous TV show right guys on some [TS]

00:19:01   british TV show I look at that guy look [TS]

00:19:03   at that money is a handsome guy [TS]

00:19:05   well see and how much of that handsome [TS]

00:19:07   this is just that area [TS]

00:19:09   yeah so they're talking about this [TS]

00:19:12   enormous song of my face to get my teeth [TS]

00:19:15   fitting together better which seemed to [TS]

00:19:17   me to be a completely like it's just up [TS]

00:19:21   a Porsche conveyance for these for these [TS]

00:19:25   doctors because they're just they're [TS]

00:19:28   sitting in those conferences in in las [TS]

00:19:32   vegas where all but all the oral [TS]

00:19:33   surgeons get together and they're saying [TS]

00:19:36   what's a new thing that we can do i tell [TS]

00:19:38   i totally agree i hate to admit this but [TS]

00:19:41   I and then the problem is i argue with [TS]

00:19:43   our friend John syracuse about this [TS]

00:19:45   because I honestly I don't have any way [TS]

00:19:47   of being able to judge when they're just [TS]

00:19:49   saying some shit vs giving me life [TS]

00:19:51   saving advice [TS]

00:19:52   it is indistinguishable they never give [TS]

00:19:54   you a percentage esta [TS]

00:19:56   how much what they're saying might be [TS]

00:19:57   totally might be total bullshit that [TS]

00:20:00   only makes sense for a little while they [TS]

00:20:02   could be fucking Theodoric of York for [TS]

00:20:04   all I know [TS]

00:20:05   yeah well and this happens at [TS]

00:20:07   universities all the time right at [TS]

00:20:08   somebody gets up and they give a paper [TS]

00:20:10   they write a book and they're like what [TS]

00:20:12   if X was why what if blue was orange and [TS]

00:20:15   if it if it makes sense then everybody [TS]

00:20:18   suddenly he's like well x is why blue is [TS]

00:20:20   orange and so a dentist gets up at a one [TS]

00:20:24   of these conferences and gives a [TS]

00:20:25   presentation a TEDTalk where he's like [TS]

00:20:27   one time I saw the guy's face in half [TS]

00:20:30   and moved his teeth around and boy the [TS]

00:20:33   results were amazing [TS]

00:20:34   he never had any problems after that and [TS]

00:20:37   then all of a sudden everybody in the [TS]

00:20:38   room is convinced that is that that's a [TS]

00:20:40   key surgery a key thing that as that [TS]

00:20:44   makes modern life better and we need to [TS]

00:20:46   like we need to encourage people that [TS]

00:20:49   have this problem i think half the [TS]

00:20:50   population their teeth put together [TS]

00:20:52   right one [TS]

00:20:54   she's got so much feeling about this [TS]

00:20:55   because I mean there are the kinds of [TS]

00:20:57   things but you're talking about the tea [TS]

00:20:58   thing having been around this in my [TS]

00:20:59   household is that there's more to it [TS]

00:21:01   than my teeth don't fit together even in [TS]

00:21:03   the case of my daughter she's got [TS]

00:21:04   retainers because her teeth are going to [TS]

00:21:07   come in we're in a way that's about way [TS]

00:21:09   more than whether she can be a model [TS]

00:21:11   where we are going to be an impact there [TS]

00:21:12   could be there's all kinds of things [TS]

00:21:13   that can happen get TMJ you get all [TS]

00:21:15   these different things that can happen [TS]

00:21:16   so you know you want you want to nip [TS]

00:21:17   that in the bud sure if you are if you [TS]

00:21:19   have to know on whale blubber in order [TS]

00:21:22   to survive a winter you can make it you [TS]

00:21:24   know what those teeth to be strong [TS]

00:21:26   certainly you can advocate for Wales um [TS]

00:21:29   yeah and then yeah that's so but my [TS]

00:21:34   thing was how so all of a sudden I was [TS]

00:21:37   considering this surgery in part because [TS]

00:21:40   so many dentists had recommended it but [TS]

00:21:42   now suddenly him part because it was [TS]

00:21:45   potentially going to increase my [TS]

00:21:46   mustache area now i'm listening and so [TS]

00:21:49   then I had a crisis right like a like a [TS]

00:21:53   like a conundrum like a like a serious [TS]

00:21:57   sort of spiritual crisis how much of [TS]

00:21:59   this now am i considering as an elective [TS]

00:22:02   surgery [TS]

00:22:02   Oh am I going if somebody said hey we've [TS]

00:22:06   got a new surgery that expands your [TS]

00:22:08   mustache [TS]

00:22:09   area i would say that's ridiculous but [TS]

00:22:14   what if I get this necessary tooth [TS]

00:22:17   surgery that just coincidentally expand [TS]

00:22:21   my mustache area so only I know until [TS]

00:22:25   until now when i'm reporting it to [TS]

00:22:26   everyone [TS]

00:22:27   well sort of like you were you know like [TS]

00:22:29   you introduced me to hydrogen peroxide [TS]

00:22:31   in your early days you would use that [TS]

00:22:32   you know as a surfactant and as a [TS]

00:22:35   mouthwash as a debriding agent but also [TS]

00:22:37   as a way to deal with your allergy to [TS]

00:22:39   yourself you remember you discovered as [TS]

00:22:41   a side effect of that you also got super [TS]

00:22:43   cool blonde hair out of it move it was [TS]

00:22:45   wasn't a similar uh black dark night of [TS]

00:22:49   the soul for you it was and you will [TS]

00:22:51   notice that I don't ever put hydrogen [TS]

00:22:53   peroxide on my head anymore didn't know [TS]

00:22:55   you could do it right now [TS]

00:22:56   that's right not because I didn't like [TS]

00:22:57   the blonde hair that it gave me but [TS]

00:22:59   because i know that it will do that and [TS]

00:23:01   so doing it now even to counteract the [TS]

00:23:05   fact that my body is trying to kill [TS]

00:23:06   itself seems like secretly I would be [TS]

00:23:10   doing it in order to go [TS]

00:23:12   oopsie i got blond hair which I don't [TS]

00:23:16   you know like this is the thing with [TS]

00:23:18   taking cold medicine it's like oopsy now [TS]

00:23:20   I'm hi what can I do about a better have [TS]

00:23:23   more cold medicine is good for me [TS]

00:23:24   yeah i'm sick i need cold medicine and [TS]

00:23:27   then you know that i'm i'm i'm riding [TS]

00:23:31   across America on the back of a [TS]

00:23:34   motorcycle with some guy named Steve so [TS]

00:23:38   that's not what I want right now and so [TS]

00:23:40   all these things it's like how much are [TS]

00:23:43   how much of those secondary repairs that [TS]

00:23:46   follow upon a quote-unquote necessary [TS]

00:23:49   surgery you know what he how many [TS]

00:23:52   decisions are getting made in that gray [TS]

00:23:54   space uh-huh so and there are elective [TS]

00:23:58   surgeries that are intentionally [TS]

00:24:00   augmentative and then there are electric [TS]

00:24:03   surgeries where you know like for [TS]

00:24:06   instance my second toe is longer than [TS]

00:24:08   the first two makes you smart [TS]

00:24:10   well yeah it means I'm descended from [TS]

00:24:11   Russian royalty [TS]

00:24:13   no kidding well it means you're smart i [TS]

00:24:16   means you're smart because you're [TS]

00:24:17   descended from royalty and everyone [TS]

00:24:19   knows they're the smartest QED right [TS]

00:24:21   so excuse me not wrong [TS]

00:24:25   mm-hmm I'm so let's say rather than [TS]

00:24:32   taking pride in the fact that my second [TS]

00:24:34   toe is longer than the first which i do [TS]

00:24:36   because i have somewhat of a set of [TS]

00:24:40   prehensile feet of monkey says a monkey [TS]

00:24:45   toes which enable me to grab and peel an [TS]

00:24:47   orange with my toes that's an adaptation [TS]

00:24:50   that's nice to have no I know what [TS]

00:24:53   people are self-conscious about their [TS]

00:24:54   monkeytoes I feel like that's a mitzvah [TS]

00:24:56   well see this is the thing I feel like [TS]

00:24:58   having a little Donald Trump Towers [TS]

00:24:59   nobody wants those but let's say blue [TS]

00:25:01   but let's say you are somebody who looks [TS]

00:25:03   down at your feet and says oh they are [TS]

00:25:05   grotesque and misshapen if there were [TS]

00:25:08   surgery and perhaps there is to have [TS]

00:25:11   your second toe shortened or all your [TS]

00:25:13   toes short but it's really [TS]

00:25:14   and here's the funny thing about that [TS]

00:25:16   second toe longer thing if you look at [TS]

00:25:19   my feet you realize it is the first toe [TS]

00:25:21   which is too short [TS]

00:25:23   it's not that the second toe is longer [TS]

00:25:25   it's the big toes too small [TS]

00:25:28   that's how that's how all the second to [TS]

00:25:30   longer people get away but that's not [TS]

00:25:32   mine band [TS]

00:25:33   yeah if your if your big toe was long [TS]

00:25:35   enough you'd have normal-looking feet [TS]

00:25:37   that will not you don't want a big tits [TS]

00:25:39   too long that you know that thumb [TS]

00:25:41   well if my big toe as long as long as my [TS]

00:25:44   second toe it would look like it would [TS]

00:25:45   not only look like a thumb it would [TS]

00:25:47   function as a thumb and i would not be [TS]

00:25:48   living here people are just brothers at [TS]

00:25:50   the same time be I would be in Tahiti I [TS]

00:25:53   would be king of tea and that sounds [TS]

00:25:57   pretty good i wish that might so let's [TS]

00:25:59   say there's an elective surgery that [TS]

00:26:01   shortens my second toe to make my feet [TS]

00:26:04   look normal yeah or an elective surgery [TS]

00:26:06   that in long gates my big toe so that i [TS]

00:26:10   can become king of Tahiti yeah which one [TS]

00:26:13   of those acquits with my idea of of what [TS]

00:26:20   you know personally which one would [TS]

00:26:22   equipped with my sort of validity needs [TS]

00:26:25   given that they are both a kind of [TS]

00:26:28   elective cosmetic surgery which one is [TS]

00:26:30   would keep you sure to your to your [TS]

00:26:32   final form [TS]

00:26:33   who write but when you describe the [TS]

00:26:35   palate slicing technique that sounds [TS]

00:26:36   more like we're going to move all four [TS]

00:26:38   toes that aren't your second toe and [TS]

00:26:41   pull them out and make them longer [TS]

00:26:42   mhm boil the ocean model for teeth you [TS]

00:26:45   know [TS]

00:26:45   yeah yeah well I'm so many elective [TS]

00:26:49   surgeries are so so to take this to a [TS]

00:26:52   wired magazine place which I know you [TS]

00:26:55   and I like to do because we thought [TS]

00:26:56   leaders are technologists how many [TS]

00:27:00   articles of you read in Wired magazine [TS]

00:27:02   about enhancement drugs that are going [TS]

00:27:07   to make you better faster stronger [TS]

00:27:10   you're going to be creating apps while [TS]

00:27:13   you sleep [TS]

00:27:14   this was a hot topic in the late [TS]

00:27:16   nineties right and I dipped I dipped one [TS]

00:27:20   of my perfectly normal-sized toes into [TS]

00:27:21   this topic a little bit which is smart [TS]

00:27:23   drugs to this day I continue to take a [TS]

00:27:26   version of smart drugs for things [TS]

00:27:27   oh well they have less of an impact [TS]

00:27:29   because if they're having to fight off [TS]

00:27:31   you know me [TS]

00:27:32   right right but there was a time when [TS]

00:27:34   this is a very hot topic i feel this is [TS]

00:27:35   like a wired magazine post rave future's [TS]

00:27:39   so bright I gotta wear shades thing [TS]

00:27:40   where you're going to be able to create [TS]

00:27:42   your own personal cocktails putting it [TS]

00:27:44   too clearly but cocktail of different [TS]

00:27:47   drugs that would enable you to to be [TS]

00:27:49   your your best self is your best self [TS]

00:27:52   not with the goal of intoxication or [TS]

00:27:54   enlightenment but just basically what [TS]

00:27:57   unlocking potential that's otherwise [TS]

00:27:59   difficult to access the whole business [TS]

00:28:01   of like the only use ten percent your [TS]

00:28:03   brain business which is not true but [TS]

00:28:06   let's but but a lot of those wired [TS]

00:28:08   magazine think pieces let's call some of [TS]

00:28:10   them think pieces some of them were just [TS]

00:28:12   reportage and some of them were were [TS]

00:28:15   think pieces start out with coverage on [TS]

00:28:18   a scene move his coverage of the smart [TS]

00:28:20   drug scene that's right we've heard [TS]

00:28:22   about let's talk to some of these people [TS]

00:28:23   that's kind of where we are right now [TS]

00:28:24   people want to be robots there's a [TS]

00:28:26   largest general coverage of like oh I've [TS]

00:28:28   got this thing like a hard thing on NPR [TS]

00:28:30   which is like the wired of the 2010 mom [TS]

00:28:33   of a guy who has a thing that he has an [TS]

00:28:36   Augmented antenna for his head to help [TS]

00:28:38   you see colors because he's colorblind [TS]

00:28:40   oh so you know I'm i support that people [TS]

00:28:42   razem I guess he looks like an [TS]

00:28:43   anglerfish like a female anglerfish [TS]

00:28:45   people rise [TS]

00:28:46   my body's got a henna that helps them [TS]

00:28:48   see colors oh and it's necessary that it [TS]

00:28:50   be an antenna it's not a it's not a [TS]

00:28:52   thing where he was like can you make [TS]

00:28:53   that look like an antenna because i am a [TS]

00:28:55   no it's not a glamour I say anything but [TS]

00:28:58   don't know but no you're right that's [TS]

00:28:59   what starts and then you get into the [TS]

00:29:00   whole like I think he gets into the only [TS]

00:29:02   going to the first person reportage like [TS]

00:29:05   I tried taking piracy them from want to [TS]

00:29:07   see what happens right then of course [TS]

00:29:09   you get into the double thinks the the [TS]

00:29:11   tricky three-part turn american life [TS]

00:29:13   version of like do smart drugs really do [TS]

00:29:15   anything [TS]

00:29:15   whoops they do it's not what we expected [TS]

00:29:17   whoops twist again right and that and [TS]

00:29:20   the twist the ultimate twist is always [TS]

00:29:21   if you don't take smart drugs are you [TS]

00:29:23   gonna be able to keep up [TS]

00:29:25   yeah are you going to be are you going [TS]

00:29:28   to be competitive [TS]

00:29:29   are you gonna be still working on your [TS]

00:29:30   first app when the people at your school [TS]

00:29:34   who weren't even as smart as you write [TS]

00:29:36   are already making their sixth or [TS]

00:29:38   seventh app right are you still working [TS]

00:29:40   on your first TED talk when you know [TS]

00:29:44   when the little kids are still sketching [TS]

00:29:46   it out while this guy down the street he [TS]

00:29:47   got a couple shots of saline back in [TS]

00:29:49   2002 and now look where he is yeah he's [TS]

00:29:51   done he's done like six tedtalks he's [TS]

00:29:53   got venture capital funding he's got an [TS]

00:29:55   app that makes apps you know everything [TS]

00:29:58   you know and you're in you're sitting [TS]

00:30:00   there with your dick in your hand [TS]

00:30:00   wondering if you should if you should [TS]

00:30:02   make something for the blackberry [TS]

00:30:04   yeah he said Nicholas he's sitting at a [TS]

00:30:06   cosmodrome somewhere getting ready to be [TS]

00:30:09   blasted up to the ISS yeah right [TS]

00:30:12   Darth Vader helmet put on for which he's [TS]

00:30:14   paid for with the fuckin petty cash [TS]

00:30:17   right and you are driving around in a [TS]

00:30:20   Honda Civic trying to figure out evil [TS]

00:30:23   what a nap is you gotta like 30 MW you [TS]

00:30:28   do you can't even trade your fucking [TS]

00:30:30   three-year-old BMW for a new BMW you see [TS]

00:30:32   this one leaving the leads are weak you [TS]

00:30:38   are weak believe you are wanting to even [TS]

00:30:43   set the time on a Rolex I don't even [TS]

00:30:44   know how you do it i think you need a [TS]

00:30:45   second rolex someone to two-factor [TS]

00:30:47   authentication you have the role you [TS]

00:30:49   send the Rolex back [TS]

00:30:50   yep this is visit there's a very small [TS]

00:30:52   large fee for sending in the Rolex a set [TS]

00:30:55   the time [TS]

00:30:55   they send it back but they give you a [TS]

00:30:57   loaner rolling to make sure that the [TS]

00:30:58   time still correct Johnson just taking a [TS]

00:31:05   minute to cough oh you sound like you're [TS]

00:31:12   getting better [TS]

00:31:12   whoa oh oh oh yeah that was great that [TS]

00:31:17   was uh yeah that was like it was like a [TS]

00:31:20   trout was living in my lungs [TS]

00:31:22   oh and now he's not there anymore huh [TS]

00:31:26   he's in a tissue on the table I think [TS]

00:31:29   tattoo removal is gonna be huge [TS]

00:31:31   well could be huge people have been [TS]

00:31:33   saying tattoo removal is going to be [TS]

00:31:35   huge for 20 years right [TS]

00:31:38   I told you the story about the guy who [TS]

00:31:40   had his who had his arms covered with [TS]

00:31:43   the like hot rod racing tattoos [TS]

00:31:45   the man's ruin tattoos and the tumbling [TS]

00:31:47   dice and the the naked devil girl [TS]

00:31:50   surrounded by a halo of flames and I I [TS]

00:31:54   told you this story don't tell me again [TS]

00:31:56   know not everybody listen to every [TS]

00:31:57   episode and i was i was with them at a [TS]

00:31:59   party and somebody's like we need [TS]

00:32:01   somebody to go on a beer run and I was [TS]

00:32:03   like it you got a car and he said yeah I [TS]

00:32:07   was like all right let's go let's go to [TS]

00:32:09   the beer store i think you know partly i [TS]

00:32:12   picked a more pointed them out because I [TS]

00:32:14   was like this guy's gonna have the hot [TS]

00:32:15   rod of all time [TS]

00:32:17   oh right he's got checkered flag cross [TS]

00:32:20   checkered flags on his forearm we get [TS]

00:32:23   out to his car and it's a 92 toyota two [TS]

00:32:27   wheel drive pickup man i was like got in [TS]

00:32:30   the Cardinals really disappointed and I [TS]

00:32:34   couldn't help but say something I was [TS]

00:32:36   like so what's the story man you got [TS]

00:32:37   this Toyota hear you always a place [TS]

00:32:40   hotrod tattoos to race motorcycles [TS]

00:32:42   there's like no so do you have a hot rod [TS]

00:32:45   somewhere no did you ever know [TS]

00:32:49   so what's what's what's with the [TS]

00:32:51   hydrogen's like well this one used to be [TS]

00:32:55   a dancing bear and this one used to be [TS]

00:32:58   you know Pooh they're all cover-ups this [TS]

00:33:01   one was Winnie the Pooh flying a [TS]

00:33:02   yin-yang flag [TS]

00:33:04   and this one over here was a fucking [TS]

00:33:07   smiling sun and this one was you know [TS]

00:33:10   Jerry's hand missing a finger and I was [TS]

00:33:14   like you are fucking kidding me you had [TS]

00:33:17   a hippie tattoos all over and now you've [TS]

00:33:19   got hot rod tattoos covering the Marlins [TS]

00:33:20   look you and I said what are you gonna [TS]

00:33:24   do when heart tattoos are the hippie [TS]

00:33:27   tattoos of the two thousands because the [TS]

00:33:31   nineties are going to make the sixties [TS]

00:33:33   look like the fifties and he was like it [TS]

00:33:36   hadn't even occurred to him right and [TS]

00:33:39   that turns out I was wrong [TS]

00:33:40   hotrod punk-rock hotrod tattoos never go [TS]

00:33:43   out of style [TS]

00:33:44   he had fucked up the first time and [TS]

00:33:46   gotten hippie tattoos and then he [TS]

00:33:49   decided he didn't want to live in that [TS]

00:33:51   in the rarefied air of rainbow [TS]

00:33:55   gatherings and now he was he'd gone hot [TS]

00:33:59   rod and I'm sure he's still very happy [TS]

00:34:01   with those but uh but I people have been [TS]

00:34:06   saying tattoo removal tattoo removal but [TS]

00:34:08   I don't see it [TS]

00:34:09   I just see more and more tattoos all [TS]

00:34:11   that are you think it's like virtual [TS]

00:34:12   reality like we're just going to keep [TS]

00:34:14   hearing about it like every three to [TS]

00:34:15   five years [TS]

00:34:16   well I've never really gonna get pay [TS]

00:34:17   it's just like moms and people that [TS]

00:34:20   didn't get tattoos constantly wanting to [TS]

00:34:22   be vindicated [TS]

00:34:23   uh-huh because to a certain minority but [TS]

00:34:26   i don't know if it's a minority but i [TS]

00:34:28   think i guess probably still the [TS]

00:34:29   majority but to a certain group of [TS]

00:34:31   people take a moral stand on tattoos and [TS]

00:34:34   they keep wanting to be vindicated right [TS]

00:34:36   be all you're gonna be sorry you're [TS]

00:34:38   going to be sorry and all the people [TS]

00:34:39   with tattoos continue to not be sorry [TS]

00:34:42   and there are plenty of people out there [TS]

00:34:44   who have aged to old age and died [TS]

00:34:47   already [TS]

00:34:47   who had tattoos the entire time and [TS]

00:34:49   we're not sorry a little bit well yeah [TS]

00:34:51   maybe I don't immoral in my case but I [TS]

00:34:53   mean part of it also is like there's [TS]

00:34:55   never is never a good day to be 75 and [TS]

00:34:57   go what the fuck did I do well yeah but [TS]

00:34:59   I this is the weird thing [TS]

00:35:02   what I have discovered in my long [TS]

00:35:04   travels is that there are people who do [TS]

00:35:08   not have a regret right i want to hear [TS]

00:35:13   this but all the reason I mention this [TS]

00:35:15   because my dad who let you know passed [TS]

00:35:17   away and making sense [TS]

00:35:18   before he had a tattoo removed oh what [TS]

00:35:20   was he when he's in Korea got an [TS]

00:35:24   ill-advised tattoo with the name of his [TS]

00:35:26   den fiance and his mother on it he was [TS]

00:35:29   drunk one night in tokyo on leave who [TS]

00:35:31   and got a tattoo [TS]

00:35:33   it's like the worst cliché of all time [TS]

00:35:35   and he was not my mommy loves him he's [TS]

00:35:38   like I got to get this got to get this [TS]

00:35:39   removed i don't remember ever having [TS]

00:35:41   seen it but i guess i don't remember [TS]

00:35:43   exactly when he goes before I would have [TS]

00:35:44   cognizance of the these kinds of things [TS]

00:35:46   and apparently the lake late sixties [TS]

00:35:48   early seventies version of to having a [TS]

00:35:50   tattoo removal was not pretty [TS]

00:35:51   no I think they put us they put a [TS]

00:35:53   grinder on you it was I mean of the [TS]

00:35:56   accounts that I've heard from my mom it [TS]

00:35:58   was just ridiculously unpleasant I guess [TS]

00:36:00   I so part of what i'm saying is yeah I'm [TS]

00:36:02   like to use whatever who cares but what [TS]

00:36:03   I'm saying is like also it like think [TS]

00:36:05   about a world where getting a tattoo [TS]

00:36:08   removed is eighteen ninety percent [TS]

00:36:11   ninety percent effective for most kinds [TS]

00:36:13   of tattoos that are colors that I heard [TS]

00:36:15   colors are really hard but color and [TS]

00:36:16   kind of things not going to well you [TS]

00:36:18   knows what is that from i know that [TS]

00:36:20   colors is colors colors colors so I [TS]

00:36:24   could die for your life when you shotgun [TS]

00:36:25   scatters the fort apache the bronx ilysm [TS]

00:36:27   colors colors [TS]

00:36:28   no I see I stigmatize te and but imagine [TS]

00:36:34   if we got to wear like you still get a [TS]

00:36:36   tattoo and commit to it but that doors [TS]

00:36:39   not closed forever [TS]

00:36:40   let's say it's about as hard as John [TS]

00:36:43   getting his teeth adjusted you go down [TS]

00:36:45   to the bartells and you get it done or [TS]

00:36:47   or somebody have salsa has two saw your [TS]

00:36:49   face [TS]

00:36:50   well i'm thinking like what if it's [TS]

00:36:51   enough we go again that's sure if I want [TS]

00:36:53   to do this and but let's say something [TS]

00:36:55   is really awful like save a tattoo or [TS]

00:36:57   something where like for any variety of [TS]

00:36:59   reasons like you know something outside [TS]

00:37:01   of your control like swastikas on your [TS]

00:37:03   knuckles Bill Cosby tattoo [TS]

00:37:05   let's say you gotta to the cause hmm so [TS]

00:37:09   even though i think we can all still say [TS]

00:37:10   he is easily one of the great stand-up [TS]

00:37:13   comedian of all time I don't know if I [TS]

00:37:14   want my face [TS]

00:37:15   mhm mhm know yet reasons at that point I [TS]

00:37:18   see what you're saying well you know [TS]

00:37:20   there are a lot of people I know and you [TS]

00:37:22   know who have one tattoo right like [TS]

00:37:25   Hodgman i hope i'm not giving anything [TS]

00:37:27   away here I don't think I am [TS]

00:37:29   he's pretty open about Hardman has one [TS]

00:37:31   tattoo Wow one tattoo which is a which [TS]

00:37:34   is an inexpert tattoo not quite a prison [TS]

00:37:40   tattoo put clothes which is up on his [TS]

00:37:43   shoulder and it is of a diamond tiny [TS]

00:37:46   blue diamond with little raise i guess [TS]

00:37:49   i've never seen him shirtless it's a [TS]

00:37:51   tiny little thing that he doesn't he has [TS]

00:37:57   an explanation for it doesn't buy [TS]

00:37:58   clothes around displaying it for example [TS]

00:38:00   no no it'sit's in the pits in a personal [TS]

00:38:02   area that you wouldn't see unless you [TS]

00:38:04   had seen Hodgman without a shirt on and [TS]

00:38:06   he I think spend a great many years [TS]

00:38:08   where he avoided that opportunity for [TS]

00:38:11   most people here is like most nerdy [TS]

00:38:14   Radecki sure yeah that's right- you know [TS]

00:38:16   for years I would go swimming with [TS]

00:38:17   Hardman and he would swim in an outfit [TS]

00:38:19   back into a nineteenth-century swimming [TS]

00:38:22   costume which is perfectly in character [TS]

00:38:25   also look at like Gibson Girl going to [TS]

00:38:27   the bloomers canada didn't bloomers but [TS]

00:38:30   you know like a like a like an [TS]

00:38:31   old-fashioned weightlifters costume idea [TS]

00:38:33   with the curly mustache caliber and like [TS]

00:38:36   like a weight lifters costume but so he [TS]

00:38:39   has this tattoo and the thing is it is [TS]

00:38:41   it is absolutely ridiculous tattoo but [TS]

00:38:45   he's not ashamed of it he owns it [TS]

00:38:47   because it represents that moment in [TS]

00:38:48   time right and I think there are a lot [TS]

00:38:51   of people that have one tattoo who for [TS]

00:38:54   whom it represents a moment in time and [TS]

00:38:56   they wouldn't have it removed even if [TS]

00:38:58   they could because there it is right [TS]

00:39:01   it's there [TS]

00:39:02   look at it they say that yeah I was tore [TS]

00:39:05   me um but I wonder if you could just go [TS]

00:39:10   to bartells and get my that's not an [TS]

00:39:13   advertisement for bar teleport tells [TS]

00:39:15   John oh oh I'm sorry well now in that [TS]

00:39:18   case it isn't [TS]

00:39:19   advertisement for party drugstore to the [TS]

00:39:21   drugstore in that started in seattle and [TS]

00:39:24   my dad in the in the twenties was a [TS]

00:39:30   delivery boy for bartels he would people [TS]

00:39:33   would order stuff from the pharmacy my [TS]

00:39:36   dad would go in his knickers and his [TS]

00:39:39   lace-up boots that he needed a little [TS]

00:39:40   hook to lace up my goodness he would [TS]

00:39:43   ride his bike to the bartells they put [TS]

00:39:45   the stuff in a basket in the front of [TS]

00:39:47   his bike and he would run this way he [TS]

00:39:48   was the he was the delivery boy for the [TS]

00:39:50   chinatown Jeff japantown neighborhood so [TS]

00:39:53   he would race around and take little [TS]

00:39:56   bags of predicaments in 28 he said he [TS]

00:40:02   would go into these chinese tall's which [TS]

00:40:04   are like secret societies and there'd be [TS]

00:40:07   all these people in smoke-filled room [TS]

00:40:08   playing mahjong then he would walk [TS]

00:40:11   through with his little with his little [TS]

00:40:12   newsboy cap and his knickers and he [TS]

00:40:16   would go and knock on a door in the back [TS]

00:40:17   and they would open it there'd be all [TS]

00:40:19   these guys in a really smoke filled room [TS]

00:40:21   and he would hand handle paper bag to [TS]

00:40:24   one of them filled with who knows what [TS]

00:40:26   and he would give my dad a couple of [TS]

00:40:28   coins and he'd go ride his bike back to [TS]

00:40:30   the bar tells my dad would tell these [TS]

00:40:32   stories endlessly and it's why it's why [TS]

00:40:38   does it happen that like your canonical [TS]

00:40:40   drugstore now so bartels is like all [TS]

00:40:43   over Seattle and you can go to a rite [TS]

00:40:45   aid or what's the other one yes or [TS]

00:40:47   longer and walgreens right the walgreens [TS]

00:40:50   where they come into a neighborhood and [TS]

00:40:51   they plop down there [TS]

00:40:52   quote unquote signature architecture [TS]

00:40:55   with their little hammer or pestle and [TS]

00:40:59   mortar and pestle and mortar pestle it's [TS]

00:41:01   a hammer and pestle that that was the [TS]

00:41:03   Soviet flag with the hammer and pestle [TS]

00:41:06   yeah so bartels is our homegrown store [TS]

00:41:09   here and and you know my dad has a [TS]

00:41:13   connection to it so that that makes it [TS]

00:41:14   again i will i will advertise for free [TS]

00:41:16   for them and if they ever got to remove [TS]

00:41:18   their you gonna put your blessing on [TS]

00:41:20   that well but that's what I wonder I [TS]

00:41:22   wonder if let's say at some point in [TS]

00:41:25   your early twenties you got a giant [TS]

00:41:27   tattoo on your neck of the Virgin Mary [TS]

00:41:31   not because you were Catholic but [TS]

00:41:33   because a giant tattoo of the Virgin [TS]

00:41:35   Mary on your neck looked rad to you [TS]

00:41:37   because you like drive like jehu and [TS]

00:41:41   then at a certain point you're like I [TS]

00:41:43   work now a job i gotta trying to get you [TS]

00:41:47   know I'm trying to date online i'm not [TS]

00:41:50   sure if this is repping what I'm repping [TS]

00:41:53   anymore but then again i think if you [TS]

00:41:55   get a virgin mary on your neck you don't [TS]

00:41:58   you're you keep prepping it [TS]

00:42:00   yeah I think it's definitely become a [TS]

00:42:02   lot more okay um which is good [TS]

00:42:05   I've seen I have seen a lot of that lot [TS]

00:42:10   of there's a cop in our neighborhood [TS]

00:42:12   who's got all porch on ya see I think [TS]

00:42:19   there might be there are certainly right [TS]

00:42:23   now some Germans and Scandinavians [TS]

00:42:26   listening this program who are already [TS]

00:42:29   compiling a list of homeopathic drugs [TS]

00:42:34   that I should have been taking the whole [TS]

00:42:35   time I thought the Germans didn't like [TS]

00:42:36   that [TS]

00:42:37   no wait Germans like st. John's water [TS]

00:42:39   they hate st. John's wort always forget [TS]

00:42:40   my experience of Germans is that they [TS]

00:42:43   believe in herbs and they don't like [TS]

00:42:46   Scientology they do not like Scientology [TS]

00:42:48   but they don't think Jeremy come down [TS]

00:42:50   pretty hard on the Scientologists oh [TS]

00:42:51   yeah i think they made it illegal [TS]

00:42:52   because they are because they have a [TS]

00:42:54   favor about cults but they believe in [TS]

00:42:57   herbs because they are still Animists [TS]

00:42:59   there we discuss relationship just [TS]

00:43:03   certain ideas is a little bit like your [TS]

00:43:06   relationship to certain kinds of [TS]

00:43:08   substances who consider all right go on [TS]

00:43:12   well example you know she saying [TS]

00:43:16   yeah yeah I don't put too fine a point [TS]

00:43:18   on it it's a certain kinds of ideas that [TS]

00:43:21   they would just as soon we set aside [TS]

00:43:23   because you know there's a reason we we [TS]

00:43:26   don't keep you know a bottle of whiskey [TS]

00:43:28   by the refrigerator [TS]

00:43:30   oh because you would have a sip every [TS]

00:43:33   time you went to the refrigerator [TS]

00:43:35   yeah yeah I'm pretty soon the whole [TS]

00:43:36   houses whiskey bottles so if you get [TS]

00:43:38   something that's a little bit like a [TS]

00:43:39   culture you get an idea that's a little [TS]

00:43:40   bit too sticky about a certain kind of [TS]

00:43:42   authoritarianism [TS]

00:43:44   I'm saying now you're making some [TS]

00:43:46   connections yeah actually there was a [TS]

00:43:48   really good episode of a ninety-percent [TS]

00:43:51   visible about this about the what's a [TS]

00:43:54   call this idea in Germany that there's [TS]

00:43:56   is called thanks for the gift shrunk [TS]

00:43:58   even with this idea of shrunk is about [TS]

00:44:03   is about drunken gifts because they do [TS]

00:44:06   have those also give strong and so this [TS]

00:44:09   is the idea that there are certain kinds [TS]

00:44:11   of books in particular that have ideas [TS]

00:44:13   that are so dangerous that we have to [TS]

00:44:15   maintain a copy of these like sort of [TS]

00:44:17   like a virus that you want to keep [TS]

00:44:19   around for experimentation but you have [TS]

00:44:21   to keep it away from the public and this [TS]

00:44:22   is an idea that has continued to endure [TS]

00:44:24   to this day cooling and not spoil the [TS]

00:44:26   ending but you know my conf is is a out [TS]

00:44:29   of copyright now so you can just put all [TS]

00:44:31   kinds of places this idea that goes back [TS]

00:44:34   i think like centuries that what is [TS]

00:44:36   starting 15 eighties the idea that the [TS]

00:44:38   church basically had these certain books [TS]

00:44:39   that they kept a single copy of but like [TS]

00:44:42   you weren't allowed to see right very [TS]

00:44:44   German idea right now or like as chief [TS]

00:44:46   Wiggum says Ralphie why are you so [TS]

00:44:48   interested in DC and daddies forbidden [TS]

00:44:50   closet of mystery who you know saying [TS]

00:44:52   well this was the picture p with the [TS]

00:44:54   Anarchist Cookbook right every time i [TS]

00:44:56   would buy a copy of the Anarchist [TS]

00:44:58   Cookbook my mom would find it on the [TS]

00:45:00   shelves and she would take it and [TS]

00:45:01   destroy it because it was about [TS]

00:45:02   explosives because yeah I was about [TS]

00:45:04   setting Tiger traps and you know [TS]

00:45:06   refighting the Vietnam War and I was [TS]

00:45:10   more interested in like to just the [TS]

00:45:11   clandestine spy craft stuff i don't care [TS]

00:45:13   about the how to make bombs I just [TS]

00:45:14   thought was cool for all the like it was [TS]

00:45:16   that what's that for fantagraphics [TS]

00:45:18   what's the name of that publishing house [TS]

00:45:19   to put out all those books [TS]

00:45:20   yeah well oh those books I don't know [TS]

00:45:23   fantagraphics put out a lot of Dominic's [TS]

00:45:25   well [TS]

00:45:26   oh no you talk about I research survival [TS]

00:45:29   research laboratories but they're so you [TS]

00:45:32   get that little fuck catalog [TS]

00:45:34   yeah the ones that were all about [TS]

00:45:35   vivisection and and general sideshow [TS]

00:45:38   circus and oh there's that research but [TS]

00:45:40   yet anyhow I service doesn't work anyway [TS]

00:45:43   but there's all kinds of stuff in about [TS]

00:45:44   like you know how to hide stuff and all [TS]

00:45:46   that kind of spy stuff that you know [TS]

00:45:48   that you would love is a little kid [TS]

00:45:49   that's what i want to copy i loved [TS]

00:45:51   learning how to make bombs and the in [TS]

00:45:53   Turkish cookbook inspired me to start [TS]

00:45:55   making pipe [TS]

00:45:56   arms and I went through a phase where I [TS]

00:45:58   made a lot of pipe bombs and blue stuff [TS]

00:46:00   up with them until I realized that the [TS]

00:46:03   next thing I blew up was going to be me [TS]

00:46:05   and you'll see you disappointed your [TS]

00:46:06   teacher of memory serves [TS]

00:46:07   yeah and I got in big trouble I got a [TS]

00:46:09   big trouble but uh I feel like I feel [TS]

00:46:16   like that impulse to have a safe room [TS]

00:46:20   that has all the forbidden books is I i [TS]

00:46:25   disagree with that entirely I feel like [TS]

00:46:27   that is a bad that's a bad principles [TS]

00:46:29   that's more like a form of fetishism [TS]

00:46:31   yeah right and I mean it's just a [TS]

00:46:33   ultimately like this is for the dirty [TS]

00:46:36   dirty ideas that i want anyone to know [TS]

00:46:38   about well sure and what inspires is [TS]

00:46:40   like uh then the protocols of the Elders [TS]

00:46:43   of Zion sleaks supposedly and all of the [TS]

00:46:50   people that want to believe that stuff [TS]

00:46:51   have reason to believe that there's a [TS]

00:46:53   secret room with all the secret books [TS]

00:46:55   and so this one snuck out in it and the [TS]

00:46:57   idea that there's a place where books [TS]

00:46:59   like this exists which is a public [TS]

00:47:02   knowledge validates the idea that there [TS]

00:47:04   are that this secret book it must be [TS]

00:47:06   true even though it's it's it's also i [TS]

00:47:09   mean it's not it's not also not [TS]

00:47:11   dissimilar from the reason why a lot of [TS]

00:47:14   us don't want Apple to weaken the [TS]

00:47:16   encryption on their phones people [TS]

00:47:20   don't understand like what's at stake [TS]

00:47:22   here with this right and so you know [TS]

00:47:24   it's like we talked about before like [TS]

00:47:26   you know do you want to have let's say [TS]

00:47:27   you go out and you buy the most secure [TS]

00:47:29   safe that's available and you put in [TS]

00:47:31   your house and you have an entire room [TS]

00:47:32   it's so important an entire room in your [TS]

00:47:34   house and the door says safe on it [TS]

00:47:36   uh-huh and you open up and there's the [TS]

00:47:39   safe yeah well you know and no matter [TS]

00:47:40   how secure that safe is now like [TS]

00:47:42   everybody knows where the safe is [TS]

00:47:43   yeah and all you do is tear the walls [TS]

00:47:45   down to get in yeah you kind of tell ya [TS]

00:47:48   you gotta tear down this wall down this [TS]

00:47:50   wall that's right and then the walls [TS]

00:47:52   came down forbidden things dangerous [TS]

00:47:55   things all these things like week we [TS]

00:47:57   imbue them with power we put them in the [TS]

00:48:00   gift strongly that's exactly and that's [TS]

00:48:02   why no gift wrong you'll get shocked you [TS]

00:48:04   put that stuff out there and let [TS]

00:48:06   everybody has hassle it out with each [TS]

00:48:08   other because yeah right about kids and [TS]

00:48:12   drinking [TS]

00:48:13   what do you stand on the whole like nah [TS]

00:48:15   no no well you know what I'm saying like [TS]

00:48:17   I i got thought on this one what your [TS]

00:48:19   thought is because I could be very [TS]

00:48:20   interesting point of view there's a lot [TS]

00:48:22   of people who say hey look you know in [TS]

00:48:23   Italy kids have a little wine with [TS]

00:48:25   dinner most kids don't like the taste of [TS]

00:48:27   alcohol but now they've tasted alcohol [TS]

00:48:29   in the house and it's not it's not it's [TS]

00:48:32   not in the gift strong where there have [TS]

00:48:33   to go drive out and find it [TS]

00:48:34   yeah just the idea of the whole idea of [TS]

00:48:36   like I think taking the magic out of [TS]

00:48:39   this forbidden thing he'd ever thought [TS]

00:48:41   on that I support it [TS]

00:48:43   uh I support that although you know [TS]

00:48:46   there's a lot of smugness in Europe [TS]

00:48:47   about drinking because they all say oh [TS]

00:48:49   you mean we give our kids drinks and we [TS]

00:48:51   don't have this alcoholism probably hung [TS]

00:48:53   up like the American that's right or the [TS]

00:48:55   British to our are notorious alcoholics [TS]

00:48:58   and they even though the sort of [TS]

00:49:01   continental Europeans are all smug about [TS]

00:49:03   it but the thing about Cardinal [TS]

00:49:06   Europeans in my experience is that yes [TS]

00:49:08   they do practice moderation but wherever [TS]

00:49:10   their line of what it is moderate intake [TS]

00:49:13   of things is pretty high right so in [TS]

00:49:18   Europe there are a lot of people who are [TS]

00:49:21   just drunk all the time and they don't [TS]

00:49:23   go they don't fantasize it to the point [TS]

00:49:25   where they are you know alcoholics like [TS]

00:49:29   you see in shakes the clown [TS]

00:49:32   but they are picture the picture that's [TS]

00:49:35   often drawn of the role of vodka [TS]

00:49:38   yeah right for Soviet Union yeah that's [TS]

00:49:40   right that's right where people are just [TS]

00:49:41   drinking themselves to death [TS]

00:49:43   sounds pretty bad but in france and [TS]

00:49:45   italy and germany people are just [TS]

00:49:47   fucking drunk all the time they're just [TS]

00:49:48   they keep a lid on it and they managed [TS]

00:49:51   to go to work on Monday night the kind [TS]

00:49:53   of maintenance drinking we're just [TS]

00:49:55   having a little bit all day now they're [TS]

00:49:56   just how they drink with a drink with [TS]

00:49:58   lunch they drink with dinner they drink [TS]

00:50:00   with late breakfast they drink with they [TS]

00:50:01   just drink all the time [TS]

00:50:03   yeah and so that you know so the [TS]

00:50:05   smugness is like yeah right okay you [TS]

00:50:07   guys are all live in life you know [TS]

00:50:11   you're really sucking the marrow out of [TS]

00:50:12   life but you are your you spend all your [TS]

00:50:15   time and in restaurants which are really [TS]

00:50:18   bars and you're just always a little bit [TS]

00:50:20   shitfaced so yeah I think that kids [TS]

00:50:23   should drink a little wine with dinner [TS]

00:50:24   but I also feel like alcohol is a human [TS]

00:50:28   is like this widely accepted waited [TS]

00:50:33   beach checked out most of the time [TS]

00:50:35   right right so two things on this topic [TS]

00:50:39   Skeeter died [TS]

00:50:46   oh no not Gary no Gary Roscoe Roscoe / [TS]

00:50:52   Skeeter oh no just last week shuffled [TS]

00:50:57   off this mortal coil can eat for are far [TS]

00:50:59   more listeners kill my people who [TS]

00:51:01   schemers so Skeeter and Gary live across [TS]

00:51:04   the street from me neither one of them [TS]

00:51:07   is the leaseholder Gary lives in his van [TS]

00:51:11   in the front yard Skeeter lives in the [TS]

00:51:14   house [TS]

00:51:14   Gary still lives in the vanity area is [TS]

00:51:16   still in the Vale gary has jerry has [TS]

00:51:19   grandfather themselves you ever cast it [TS]

00:51:21   would be this long [TS]

00:51:22   no I goodness and I used all of my [TS]

00:51:24   psionic power to dismember Gary while he [TS]

00:51:29   slept but gary has gary has a matured [TS]

00:51:35   into kind of a lively [TS]

00:51:40   character droke in the neighborhood [TS]

00:51:44   he's never you know oh yeah kara I was [TS]

00:51:46   I'm Gary's best friend he remembers me [TS]

00:51:48   having that you know so not only does he [TS]

00:51:51   remember me but now I have to avoid Gary [TS]

00:51:53   because he's going to strike up a long [TS]

00:51:54   conversation with me about and this part [TS]

00:51:57   of the conversation is about jesus which [TS]

00:51:59   I'm just like Kari look of all the [TS]

00:52:02   things that you shouldn't be [TS]

00:52:03   representing to me right now is the [TS]

00:52:05   power of Jesus old living in your van [TS]

00:52:09   and street drunk guy but Skeeter lived [TS]

00:52:12   in the house [TS]

00:52:13   Skeeter was gonna marry the matron of [TS]

00:52:15   the house the lady who who owns the [TS]

00:52:18   place [TS]

00:52:19   that's right and the reason she wasn't [TS]

00:52:21   correct me if I'm wrong but over time [TS]

00:52:22   she's been very generous about making [TS]

00:52:24   this a place that's almost like an [TS]

00:52:25   ad-hoc halfway house right people could [TS]

00:52:27   come and kind of like get their legs [TS]

00:52:29   under there she has a generous spirit [TS]

00:52:31   she is always trying to rescue people [TS]

00:52:33   she's a rescue her and so she rescued [TS]

00:52:36   these two ding-a-lings some for some [TS]

00:52:39   reason I have no idea why they may I [TS]

00:52:42   think that she knew Skeeter for a long [TS]

00:52:44   time and and gary is native to the [TS]

00:52:47   neighborhood this is the thing that I [TS]

00:52:48   found out about their long ago [TS]

00:52:50   Gary grew up in that neighborhood I'd [TS]

00:52:52   Gary might have been living in that [TS]

00:52:53   front yard [TS]

00:52:54   no I remember when he moved in but Gary [TS]

00:52:57   you know as a teenager might have been [TS]

00:52:58   sleeping in that front yard [TS]

00:53:00   well anyways the reason I called Roscoe [TS]

00:53:03   Skeeter was of course because he had a [TS]

00:53:05   neck tattoo of a giant mosquitoes [TS]

00:53:07   sucking blood out of his neck which was [TS]

00:53:09   just like oh like a truffle oil [TS]

00:53:11   no look it was sucking it out like a [TS]

00:53:14   shitty like a shitty tattoo he got in [TS]

00:53:18   Kodiak ok of a mosquito as big as your [TS]

00:53:21   hand [TS]

00:53:22   this is a sucking blood out of his neck [TS]

00:53:25   which was just like the first time I met [TS]

00:53:28   him I was like let me guess you uh [TS]

00:53:32   worked in Alaska he was like how'd you [TS]

00:53:34   know man I was like there's only one [TS]

00:53:36   reason you would have a tattoo of a [TS]

00:53:38   mosquito on your neck unless you're from [TS]

00:53:41   Siberia and you don't seem Canadian you [TS]

00:53:45   you worked in Alaskans like i did 25 [TS]

00:53:47   years of advertisement every anyway so [TS]

00:53:51   here I and he used to mean [TS]

00:53:53   Skeeter was a [TS]

00:53:54   and the fact that his was quote-unquote [TS]

00:53:57   real name was Roscoe there's no way his [TS]

00:53:59   name was Roscoe his fucking name is [TS]

00:54:01   probably Brian but nobody knew it's [TS]

00:54:04   because he'd been going by roscoe sense [TS]

00:54:06   both sense back in a time when calling [TS]

00:54:09   yourself Roscoe seemed cool right can [TS]

00:54:11   you remember the remember the party in [TS]

00:54:13   1982 we're like I'm Roscoe everybody [TS]

00:54:16   said that's great and then it just stuck [TS]

00:54:19   but Skeeter worked much better for me so [TS]

00:54:23   much so that I started calling Skeeter [TS]

00:54:25   to his face but he you know he didn't [TS]

00:54:27   know what the fuck was up or down and so [TS]

00:54:30   he died of liver failure on now which I [TS]

00:54:33   had been i had watched the decline [TS]

00:54:36   across the street until you know he was [TS]

00:54:38   just experiencing all that i don't know [TS]

00:54:39   if you've ever watched somebody with [TS]

00:54:41   liver failure [TS]

00:54:41   it's not pretty no you get bloated and [TS]

00:54:45   you get a John to see and and all that [TS]

00:54:49   was happening and a couple of times i'm [TS]

00:54:51   talking to him in the street knows i [TS]

00:54:53   came in you know you're past the point [TS]

00:54:54   now like you got to get some help for [TS]

00:54:57   you it's it's a like you're it's not [TS]

00:55:00   it's not a joke anymore obviously you [TS]

00:55:02   know that he was like yeah well I'm [TS]

00:55:04   trying to listen that but he wasn't and [TS]

00:55:09   so I don't think he was about 55 or [TS]

00:55:11   that's all 50 signs as he looked like he [TS]

00:55:15   was a thousand years old but so so [TS]

00:55:19   skeeters gone making Gary top dog like [TS]

00:55:25   Gary now I the yesterday the the boy [TS]

00:55:28   prince has ascended yeah right good [TS]

00:55:31   skier always kept kept Gary down but at [TS]

00:55:34   last is two days ago I I look out my [TS]

00:55:37   window [TS]

00:55:38   Gary's laughs and he's walking up and [TS]

00:55:40   down the street I don't think [TS]

00:55:42   celebrating but I just feel like he [TS]

00:55:44   finally felt released because he Gary [TS]

00:55:47   would tell me in the middle of the night [TS]

00:55:48   I'd run into him in the street and he'd [TS]

00:55:50   be like you know Roscoe threaten me with [TS]

00:55:53   a knife like you know my name is Paul [TS]

00:55:57   and this is between y'all [TS]

00:55:59   he's like no no he like some you know [TS]

00:56:03   some like fish knife was like seriously [TS]

00:56:07   I don't want to hear it [TS]

00:56:08   I don't want to hear you guys are all [TS]

00:56:10   bananas so so that's one that's one [TS]

00:56:16   element that's what happened is a power [TS]

00:56:18   vacuum well so I don't know what's I [TS]

00:56:21   don't know what's gonna happen whether [TS]

00:56:22   you might try to move in [TS]

00:56:24   I don't think she won't have it right [TS]

00:56:25   she won't have him in the house but you [TS]

00:56:27   know he has graduated to like trusted [TS]

00:56:28   handyman um where he's you know I don't [TS]

00:56:33   know if he's ever been up on the roof [TS]

00:56:34   cleaning out the gutters but he's doing [TS]

00:56:35   little little inconsequential chores [TS]

00:56:38   taking out the garbage that type of [TS]

00:56:39   thing but what you know what I worry [TS]

00:56:41   about is that she that she saved some [TS]

00:56:44   other guy that we go back we go back to [TS]

00:56:46   yung skeeter we reset and there's you [TS]

00:56:50   know some next guy i don't i don't know [TS]

00:56:52   I I root for her I think she's a lovely [TS]

00:56:54   person right and I know that he been [TS]

00:56:57   very concerned about her her actual like [TS]

00:56:59   you know Joe kidding and stuff aside the [TS]

00:57:01   concerned about her welfare where you [TS]

00:57:03   know she wasn't on the scene very much [TS]

00:57:05   people seem to be coming in and out of [TS]

00:57:06   the house align there was a bad time [TS]

00:57:07   there there was a bad time with before [TS]

00:57:10   before Rosco lost his agency where he [TS]

00:57:14   was just it seemed to me like he was [TS]

00:57:16   stripping the place right [TS]

00:57:18   anyway that's one that's one side of [TS]

00:57:20   this conversation that I thought though [TS]

00:57:22   that their longtime listeners who wonder [TS]

00:57:24   about the saga I would want to know I'm [TS]

00:57:27   sorry to hear that [TS]

00:57:28   yeah well you know he uh he was colorful [TS]

00:57:31   guy and any he burned brightly uh-huh he [TS]

00:57:37   went on gently into this goodnight the [TS]

00:57:42   other the other side this conversation [TS]

00:57:45   that may interest you is that when i was [TS]

00:57:48   very sick and getting an IV the other [TS]

00:57:49   night the doctor who was convicted and [TS]

00:57:56   gave me a look that communicated to me [TS]

00:58:00   that she might be aware of Russia who [TS]

00:58:03   her patient was because at this point is [TS]

00:58:06   the thing with you and I gotta think [TS]

00:58:07   about is there's lots of people in [TS]

00:58:09   positions of power who are a lot younger [TS]

00:58:10   than [TS]

00:58:11   this who is people running for president [TS]

00:58:13   or younger than me [TS]

00:58:14   should I know I know that I don't know [TS]

00:58:16   that's a new one for me none of them [TS]

00:58:17   qualified but but this doctor was our [TS]

00:58:21   age exactly and she was she didn't get [TS]

00:58:25   it she didn't she almost gave me a look [TS]

00:58:27   like she was a fan not know she was a [TS]

00:58:31   doctor right so she's keeping her she [TS]

00:58:34   was giving me a little bit of the the [TS]

00:58:35   head nod you know professor Roderick [TS]

00:58:37   kind of thing at one point when I had my [TS]

00:58:40   IV about halfway through the bag i was [TS]

00:58:44   like oh I've got to go to the party [TS]

00:58:46   because this bag is filled me up with [TS]

00:58:49   water and so in my little gown I grab [TS]

00:58:54   ahold of my little because there's no [TS]

00:58:55   you know it's off its a hospital so [TS]

00:58:57   there's nobody around right there nobody [TS]

00:58:59   actually monitoring it to the emergency [TS]

00:59:01   room going to the emergency room because [TS]

00:59:04   it was late at night [TS]

00:59:05   yeah and sells drive yourself yeah of [TS]

00:59:08   course [TS]

00:59:09   Shang me which everybody was like what [TS]

00:59:11   are you doing and I was like did I [TS]

00:59:12   return the story about the time I got [TS]

00:59:14   hit with a hatchet and they were like no [TS]

00:59:15   this is the first time we've ever met [TS]

00:59:17   I was like it's a great story remind me [TS]

00:59:19   to tie some time to myself to the [TS]

00:59:21   hospital then with blood running down my [TS]

00:59:23   face [TS]

00:59:23   oh my god anyway so I'm walking down the [TS]

00:59:25   hall with my gown and my IV bag attached [TS]

00:59:29   to me and I'm pushing this little IV [TS]

00:59:30   stand and admitted to the bathroom and [TS]

00:59:34   she is coming the other way looking at a [TS]

00:59:37   chart as doctors do and up until that [TS]

00:59:40   point she had maintained a very [TS]

00:59:43   professional demeanor with me but she [TS]

00:59:45   passed me in the hall she looked up saw [TS]

00:59:48   me and there was a momentary a momentary [TS]

00:59:54   candor that went across her face and her [TS]

00:59:58   guard was Dale [TS]

00:59:58   guard was Dale [TS]

01:00:00   and she gave me like this and I wouldn't [TS]

01:00:04   know what to describe it to you as other [TS]

01:00:07   than a look I've seen many times which [TS]

01:00:10   was like a little bit of a titter almost [TS]

01:00:14   a titter I was like oh interesting i'm [TS]

01:00:18   not sure whether she voted for me or not [TS]

01:00:20   hope that she hope every doctor in the [TS]

01:00:22   town did alright because of politics [TS]

01:00:25   politics politics everything music I [TS]

01:00:27   forgot about the politics but she's [TS]

01:00:29   she's my age right so she could have [TS]

01:00:31   been she was 29 she could have been a [TS]

01:00:33   fan of one of my bands but it anyway at [TS]

01:00:38   the end of the thing she's like at that [TS]

01:00:40   point in time I was coughing in such a [TS]

01:00:43   way where it looked like I was gonna die [TS]

01:00:47   like I had to bend over [TS]

01:00:49   hold my lungs with my arms and I was I [TS]

01:00:53   was just copying like like the like the [TS]

01:00:57   alien in the first alien movie just you [TS]

01:01:02   know like my second set of teeth came [TS]

01:01:04   out and is coughing up stuff and it was [TS]

01:01:08   now it was a racking cough extremely [TS]

01:01:11   painful and so the doctor very sort of [TS]

01:01:14   lively prescribes me codeine cough syrup [TS]

01:01:19   and there was a moment where my [TS]

01:01:24   reflexive reply which i have been using [TS]

01:01:28   for 20 years the reflexive reply being [TS]

01:01:32   oh I'm sorry I'm in recovery and so I [TS]

01:01:38   don't do codeine cough syrup and I've [TS]

01:01:42   said that 50 times to various doctors [TS]

01:01:46   and they always go oh totally understood [TS]

01:01:47   and they prescribe me [TS]

01:01:50   imodium or what are you know like yeah [TS]

01:01:54   they give you something narcotic yeah [TS]

01:01:55   but in this case I'm sitting there in [TS]

01:01:58   tremendous pain and i have gone to the [TS]

01:02:01   emergency room for a thing that turns [TS]

01:02:04   out to be a virus right and i went to [TS]

01:02:09   the emergency room in part because I had [TS]

01:02:10   a fever for days and i mistakenly [TS]

01:02:13   said so on the internet which I hardly [TS]

01:02:15   ever do i complained about a symptom on [TS]

01:02:18   the internet and I got 45 replies on [TS]

01:02:21   Twitter and 400 replies on facebook all [TS]

01:02:24   telling me that I needed to eat raw [TS]

01:02:25   garlic but there were this one [TS]

01:02:29   surprising trick [TS]

01:02:30   yeah but there were several several [TS]

01:02:31   people who are like I am a medical [TS]

01:02:33   doctor and if you have fever for days [TS]

01:02:34   you need to go to a doctor immediately [TS]

01:02:36   and so all of a sudden what I knew to be [TS]

01:02:40   true which was that if I just cowered [TS]

01:02:42   under these blankets for two more days i [TS]

01:02:43   would start getting better turned into [TS]

01:02:45   this bug in my mind which was no shit [TS]

01:02:49   you've got pneumonia and you're gonna [TS]

01:02:51   die or or it or rather it is normal to [TS]

01:02:55   go to the doctor under these [TS]

01:02:56   circumstances and so I'm gonna go do it [TS]

01:02:59   and so I called the doctor and they were [TS]

01:03:01   like well the doctors office doesn't [TS]

01:03:02   have any appointments available until [TS]

01:03:05   march of 2017 [TS]

01:03:07   yeah no big you know big it's not like [TS]

01:03:09   anything out like a health issue or [TS]

01:03:11   something [TS]

01:03:11   yeah so you need to go to be a dick [TS]

01:03:13   about it you need to go to the emergency [TS]

01:03:15   clinic block in clinic which of course [TS]

01:03:17   is you know an emergency room by any [TS]

01:03:20   other definition there you go in there [TS]

01:03:21   and it's every kind of person all [TS]

01:03:24   miserable so she prescribes this coding [TS]

01:03:30   cup syrup and there's a part of me that [TS]

01:03:32   wants to feel like my illness is bad [TS]

01:03:36   enough that it that it justified this [TS]

01:03:38   trip because I don't want to walk out of [TS]

01:03:40   here saying well she gave me a pint a [TS]

01:03:43   saline solution and patted me on the [TS]

01:03:44   head and told me I had a cold so she [TS]

01:03:48   gives me this coating cough syrup she [TS]

01:03:49   prescribes us to be and I'm like well [TS]

01:03:52   yes the seriousness of that medicine [TS]

01:03:54   validates howl in pain and how late lo I [TS]

01:03:58   am and so rather than tell her no I just [TS]

01:04:03   SAT there quietly like everybody I mean [TS]

01:04:07   I think probably half the population [TS]

01:04:08   when a doctor says we're going to [TS]

01:04:10   prescribe some codeine cough syrup a [TS]

01:04:12   silent we were rejoice [TS]

01:04:13   oh my god it's like in the lottery it's [TS]

01:04:15   like oh boy I'm gonna get codeine cough [TS]

01:04:17   a totally agree i haven't taken this [TS]

01:04:19   stuff in 20 years and so [TS]

01:04:22   [Music] [TS]

01:04:24   I went home I fill the prescription and [TS]

01:04:27   i went home and i SAT and looked at this [TS]

01:04:29   bottle of codeine cough syrup and I said [TS]

01:04:32   you sir are problem for me because you [TS]

01:04:37   are no more kotik and I haven't taken [TS]

01:04:40   narcotics in 20 years [TS]

01:04:42   this is a bad scene this is one of those [TS]

01:04:44   scenes you did you did get you did fill [TS]

01:04:46   the prescription you had in front of you [TS]

01:04:47   add in front of me so I'm there I'm like [TS]

01:04:50   an L now here we are and then I went who [TS]

01:04:56   have and I bent over i was in a cough so [TS]

01:05:01   badly that I dropped to my knees and was [TS]

01:05:04   banging my head on the floor [TS]

01:05:06   oh Jesus John with this with this cough [TS]

01:05:08   that was coming from my pelvis and it's [TS]

01:05:12   a virus it's just a thing it's just a [TS]

01:05:15   little thing that was floating in the [TS]

01:05:17   air snuck inside me and is trying to [TS]

01:05:19   kill me but isn't really trying to kill [TS]

01:05:20   me just trying to send me a message [TS]

01:05:22   trying to send me a message that God is [TS]

01:05:25   watching me and then I was expressing [TS]

01:05:26   too much hubris some take me down to [TS]

01:05:31   size and so I poured myself four or five [TS]

01:05:35   millimeters five milliliters of codeine [TS]

01:05:41   cough syrup and I took it and then i [TS]

01:05:46   went to sleep and then I woke up the [TS]

01:05:49   next day and woke up to a racking cough [TS]

01:05:53   and I went downstairs and took five [TS]

01:05:55   milliliters of this officer and now I [TS]

01:06:00   was in this tricky place i was like i [TS]

01:06:03   have now taken five milliliters of [TS]

01:06:06   coding two times prescribed by a doctor [TS]

01:06:10   for they had cold where am i where am i [TS]

01:06:16   right now do i need to go back do I need [TS]

01:06:19   to go to an a meeting for the first time [TS]

01:06:21   in a year and a half and throw my [TS]

01:06:23   20-year coin Adam and say I start over [TS]

01:06:26   oh ok i start over i'm back to zero or [TS]

01:06:31   do i do I [TS]

01:06:34   just chill because it's not like I'm you [TS]

01:06:39   know it's not like it was like whoo than [TS]

01:06:45   halfway through the day I had another [TS]

01:06:50   terrible episode of coughing which as [TS]

01:06:53   you know i do not i don't typically well [TS]

01:06:56   I don't exaggerate it all under any [TS]

01:06:59   circumstances [TS]

01:07:00   no but like when you're it's eat at a [TS]

01:07:01   certain point it's one thing to go like [TS]

01:07:02   an excuse me it's another thing when you [TS]

01:07:04   have this entire like torso rattling [TS]

01:07:08   cough that starts in your pelvis we like [TS]

01:07:10   I will do anything to get this out and [TS]

01:07:12   make it stopped because I'm just gonna [TS]

01:07:13   come back and is it is really really [TS]

01:07:15   painful [TS]

01:07:16   oh it's awful it's it's in its you'd [TS]

01:07:18   read it you come to dread it and then [TS]

01:07:20   you're like well if I think about this [TS]

01:07:21   one start coughing because it's going to [TS]

01:07:23   start all over again and it is lazy low [TS]

01:07:25   yeah i would be at the cough would start [TS]

01:07:27   and i would try and sequester the cough [TS]

01:07:30   in my throat like somebody with a with [TS]

01:07:34   bad asthma right i do not want to start [TS]

01:07:35   coughing and I'm trying to keep I'm [TS]

01:07:37   trying to dampen this cop because if it [TS]

01:07:40   goes then I'm just ruined and like [TS]

01:07:43   there's nobody in my house i'm there by [TS]

01:07:45   myself it's not like i'm performing for [TS]

01:07:46   anybody I don't even have a cat [TS]

01:07:48   I'm not putting on a show i am like [TS]

01:07:51   laying on the floor writhing in agony [TS]

01:07:54   so I go to pour another cup of codeine [TS]

01:08:00   cough syrup and this time I give myself [TS]

01:08:03   seven milliliters what's your sense of [TS]

01:08:07   how much that is versus the recommended [TS]

01:08:09   dose beats me probably less well yeah [TS]

01:08:12   there's a cop you know like a one of [TS]

01:08:14   those cough syrup cups and I am just [TS]

01:08:16   putting a tiny little you know you're [TS]

01:08:19   probably well below what they would do [TS]

01:08:20   normally cake i'm certainly well below [TS]

01:08:23   what i would have taken 20 years ago but [TS]

01:08:27   you know it's like it's like three [TS]

01:08:28   quarters [TS]

01:08:30   30 American Cohen quarters stacked [TS]

01:08:35   that's how much it is [TS]

01:08:36   wow wow and so then I went to seven [TS]

01:08:40   millimeters which was adding another [TS]

01:08:41   quarter now it's a stack of four [TS]

01:08:43   quarters [TS]

01:08:44   in the bottom of this little cup and [TS]

01:08:46   that amount of escalation when I put two [TS]

01:08:51   more milliliters in that cup just [TS]

01:08:52   unconsciously just not just like well I [TS]

01:08:56   just that was a really bad ones just [TS]

01:08:57   give myself a little bit just juice it a [TS]

01:09:00   little bit then I was like holy shit [TS]

01:09:05   whoopsie-daisy oh no you felt something [TS]

01:09:07   no no i didn't really feel anything but [TS]

01:09:09   like that was that was coming from [TS]

01:09:14   inside me [TS]

01:09:15   oh just that one extra quarter something [TS]

01:09:19   something hit you and you went ok that [TS]

01:09:21   that's the quarter couldn't do me that [TS]

01:09:23   was me [TS]

01:09:24   upping the dose that was not shit okay [TS]

01:09:27   that was not anything I didn't feel it [TS]

01:09:29   any differently but that was me upping [TS]

01:09:31   the dose that was me upping the dose [TS]

01:09:33   hoping that I could scrape the underside [TS]

01:09:38   of feeling something right if I just [TS]

01:09:41   keep going up to milliliters at a time I [TS]

01:09:44   reject John going to get to the [TS]

01:09:45   underside of this it's just it it was [TS]

01:09:47   always right and to the edge [TS]

01:09:49   I'm just like I'm laying on the floor [TS]

01:09:52   coughing I by all rational thought I [TS]

01:09:57   this is a this is a medicine which is [TS]

01:10:00   helping me but i just went I just want [TS]

01:10:04   that little peep peep and i took that [TS]

01:10:06   codeine cough syrup and I put it in the [TS]

01:10:08   farthest darkest corner and was like [TS]

01:10:11   that does not exist that is long gone [TS]

01:10:15   from my world and you know for for about [TS]

01:10:19   a half a day more of racking cough I was [TS]

01:10:22   like you know this little one more [TS]

01:10:24   little shot of that would help me a lot [TS]

01:10:25   and I was like fuck you fuck you fuck [TS]

01:10:30   you [TS]

01:10:31   so I don't know whether I go that when i [TS]

01:10:34   throw my 20-year coin atom or whether [TS]

01:10:37   who gives a shit [TS]

01:10:39   it's not about that but that is the [TS]

01:10:42   that's the furthest little test I've [TS]

01:10:44   made like that's the everyone's well you [TS]

01:10:48   know walk through a party and there'll [TS]

01:10:49   be people smoking pot and i will just I [TS]

01:10:54   won't make it and I won't make an [TS]

01:10:55   attempt to not inhale [TS]

01:10:57   whatever just like yeah I wonder bit but [TS]

01:11:03   if somebody if somebody poured me a [TS]

01:11:04   glass of juice and I put it in my mouth [TS]

01:11:07   and I realize there's alcohol in it i [TS]

01:11:09   will go to the bathroom and spit it out [TS]

01:11:10   so I in 20 years I have never taken a [TS]

01:11:15   quote-unquote accidental drink of liquor [TS]

01:11:18   spit every one of them out and never had [TS]

01:11:22   any coding coughs operating like this [TS]

01:11:24   but this was situation where i was just [TS]

01:11:26   like the combination of factors and all [TS]

01:11:29   of a sudden I'm i tiptoe tiptoe and [TS]

01:11:32   didn't didn't notice it at the time but [TS]

01:11:34   immediately looking back immediately [TS]

01:11:38   recognized the tendency wow I feel about [TS]

01:11:45   that i mean so I mean so just state the [TS]

01:11:50   obvious so you don't have any more than [TS]

01:11:52   hello [TS]

01:11:54   I don't want and I don't want that stuff [TS]

01:11:55   near me and and you know how I feel [TS]

01:12:00   about it is people ask me this a lot [TS]

01:12:04   is there a point where you stop thinking [TS]

01:12:07   about having a drink you know is there a [TS]

01:12:12   point of sobriety where stop thinking [TS]

01:12:13   about it and in my experience no right [TS]

01:12:19   there's there's never a time when it [TS]

01:12:23   doesn't come up [TS]

01:12:24   I mean you live in the world there's [TS]

01:12:27   almost no day in my life where the topic [TS]

01:12:30   of alcohol doesn't come up somehow [TS]

01:12:33   you know I work in bars right but also [TS]

01:12:36   it's the world you drive down the street [TS]

01:12:37   it's just alcohol signs all around [TS]

01:12:39   people just alcohol alcohol so know what [TS]

01:12:42   it the it's not a question of it never [TS]

01:12:45   occurred to you are never coming up it's [TS]

01:12:48   always there and as a somebody who's [TS]

01:12:52   quit drinking [TS]

01:12:53   it's constantly there the question what [TS]

01:12:57   if i had a drink [TS]

01:12:58   you know that's the that's the little [TS]

01:13:01   question the little voice what are the [TS]

01:13:04   voices just always saying that it is one [TS]

01:13:07   line and [TS]

01:13:08   just point of information it that's sort [TS]

01:13:10   of a it seems like you know AAA seems [TS]

01:13:12   like such a mature culture where there's [TS]

01:13:14   just a huge part son seems to me like a [TS]

01:13:16   huge part of a is yeah we've heard that [TS]

01:13:18   before or yeah we've seen that before or [TS]

01:13:20   you know what you're going through right [TS]

01:13:21   now is very well understood in the [TS]

01:13:23   community [TS]

01:13:24   you're not experiencing anything any [TS]

01:13:26   different than what people have [TS]

01:13:27   experienced some people a dozen times [TS]

01:13:29   yeah and one of those is I can have a [TS]

01:13:32   little bit right no yeah i mean that's [TS]

01:13:34   the big one right that's how people [TS]

01:13:36   that's how people come in today and go [TS]

01:13:38   out of a and that's how people get sober [TS]

01:13:40   for nine months and go out that's [TS]

01:13:42   everybody's desire that nobody wants to [TS]

01:13:45   be a holic every single person that [TS]

01:13:46   wants to quit drinking doesn't want to [TS]

01:13:48   quit drinking they want to drink like a [TS]

01:13:50   normal night so they quit and they're [TS]

01:13:53   like I feel great you know what was the [TS]

01:13:56   problem i was just in a bad way i can [TS]

01:13:58   have a little bit and then there you [TS]

01:14:00   know back to be a wino in no time [TS]

01:14:04   and so a big part of going to meetings [TS]

01:14:11   all the time is to keep that voice at [TS]

01:14:15   bay by reminding yourself what will [TS]

01:14:18   happen and doing that by sitting in a [TS]

01:14:20   room full of people who all are having [TS]

01:14:22   that experience and who are coming in [TS]

01:14:24   they're like I was sober for 20 years [TS]

01:14:26   and I got a bad headache and somebody [TS]

01:14:28   gave me some codeine cough syrup and [TS]

01:14:30   three days later I was on a barge to [TS]

01:14:33   Shanghai right and I was out again for [TS]

01:14:36   for 14 years and now i'm back here in a [TS]

01:14:39   16 days sober and thank you so much [TS]

01:14:42   everybody applauds and you go wow you [TS]

01:14:45   know it's that easy all you have to do [TS]

01:14:48   is slip on the ice one time and you know [TS]

01:14:52   for guys like me who say to themselves [TS]

01:14:55   all you know it's I'm I've been clean [TS]

01:14:58   for 20 years and and I've got a lot of [TS]

01:15:03   willpower and I got this thing licked [TS]

01:15:05   there's no part of me that thinks that i [TS]

01:15:08   can go have a drink you know I'm not a [TS]

01:15:10   dummy [TS]

01:15:11   I've heard enough stories but it's [TS]

01:15:15   fucking hilarious to see how little it [TS]

01:15:18   took to with how little it took for me [TS]

01:15:21   to do do what I did but so I mean I [TS]

01:15:26   totally take your point but it's also a [TS]

01:15:27   testament to your vigilance that you [TS]

01:15:30   were able to see that you know one more [TS]

01:15:32   quarter was too much don't you were you [TS]

01:15:34   were [TS]

01:15:35   it's it's great that you had the ability [TS]

01:15:36   to catch that again because I've heard a [TS]

01:15:39   thousand stories i ran into a guy that [TS]

01:15:42   I'd known for a long time in the program [TS]

01:15:45   I one time about 10 years ago and he [TS]

01:15:51   looked all bagged up and was like hey [TS]

01:15:54   what happened and he said oh I was [TS]

01:15:57   riding my motorcycle and I got side i [TS]

01:16:01   got t-boned by a car and i flew off the [TS]

01:16:05   motorcycle through the front windshield [TS]

01:16:08   of the car and it's split my helmet and [TS]

01:16:11   a half [TS]

01:16:12   oh my god and uh you know it wasn't i [TS]

01:16:17   wasn't sure whether I was gonna live or [TS]

01:16:18   die and i had their they were picking [TS]

01:16:20   glass shards out of my eyes and just [TS]

01:16:26   insane story and he was in the hospital [TS]

01:16:29   all messed up and they had about a [TS]

01:16:33   morphine drip and when he woke up out of [TS]

01:16:40   his stupor he spent a day of a morphine [TS]

01:16:45   drip and maybe called the doctor and he [TS]

01:16:46   was like take me off the morphe man [TS]

01:16:49   the doctor was like are you serious [TS]

01:16:51   you've got glass in your eyeball and he [TS]

01:16:54   said yeah i know but if you keep me a [TS]

01:16:58   bit more feed the result for me will be [TS]

01:17:02   worse them suffering through this with [TS]

01:17:06   suffering through this with no pain [TS]

01:17:08   killer and he told me that story and I [TS]

01:17:13   was like whoa there's a guy who is [TS]

01:17:18   vigilant because he fell so deep [TS]

01:17:25   and he knows he doesn't want to go back [TS]

01:17:27   right and I don't want to go back and so [TS]

01:17:34   you know there was that was by I wasn't [TS]

01:17:37   even on a day on a morphine drip that [TS]

01:17:39   was just me left alone with you know [TS]

01:17:42   with something like left alone with [TS]

01:17:45   something where i had a justification [TS]

01:17:46   and I've been in that situation 30 times [TS]

01:17:49   sicker than I was you know but for some [TS]

01:17:51   reason right this moment it was a little [TS]

01:17:54   it was a little check and and probably I [TS]

01:17:58   should go to my first day meeting in a [TS]

01:17:59   year and a half and tell that story [TS]

01:18:01   because I be useful to somebody might be [TS]

01:18:05   useful somebody and it would be useful [TS]

01:18:07   to me to just be in a room full of [TS]

01:18:09   people who were like ha ha look at you [TS]

01:18:12   look at you that's the hubris [TS]

01:18:15   that's your universe right there you're [TS]

01:18:17   you breast man he flew too close to the [TS]

01:18:20   coding it's huge [TS]

01:18:22   how you brucey you were because i don't [TS]

01:18:30   want to end up like skater who nobody [TS]

01:18:32   does not stand up like skater don't want [TS]

01:18:36   to end up like gary gary is going to [TS]

01:18:38   live forever gonna be over there [TS]

01:18:40   listening the Jethro tall he's getting [TS]

01:18:44   one calling 911 on you coming tonight [TS]

01:18:47   that's right color well you know he [TS]

01:18:49   decided that the house next door where [TS]

01:18:51   Gary's van is parked is a house where a [TS]

01:18:54   couple of Mexican families moved in uh [TS]

01:18:57   and they are you know their large [TS]

01:18:59   families and they are limited if it's a [TS]

01:19:02   fairly big house and may they are our [TS]

01:19:06   great neighbors although they have a [TS]

01:19:07   rooster nail which is driving me crazy [TS]

01:19:11   oh no it's awful but you know I've I [TS]

01:19:14   feel like it's a small price to pay up [TS]

01:19:16   everybody everybody in the neighborhood [TS]

01:19:17   I think they're probably the best [TS]

01:19:19   neighbors this fucking rooster [TS]

01:19:21   I don't know why they don't know why the [TS]

01:19:23   abbot but Gary at one point decided that [TS]

01:19:28   they were coming over and messing with [TS]

01:19:31   his van now [TS]

01:19:32   it was like Gary the last people [TS]

01:19:36   that are messing with your van are are [TS]

01:19:40   the those families they've got like a [TS]

01:19:43   lot of kids they go to everybody in the [TS]

01:19:46   house is trying hard they got a foothold [TS]

01:19:48   you know what I mean yeah last thing i [TS]

01:19:51   want to do is go cause trouble [TS]

01:19:52   they're not causing trouble with you [TS]

01:19:53   Gary you got nothing of value to anybody [TS]

01:19:56   because that this is the way I talk to [TS]

01:19:59   carry and then he's all that he starts [TS]

01:20:00   telling me about Jesus but so at one [TS]

01:20:05   point Gary took two in the middle of the [TS]

01:20:07   night standing on the other side of the [TS]

01:20:10   fence and shouting into their darkened [TS]

01:20:14   house where everyone is sleeping [TS]

01:20:16   no like shouting sort of slurs and was [TS]

01:20:22   pacing back and forth seen stay out of [TS]

01:20:24   my van stay out of my yard I know what [TS]

01:20:27   you're doing I know you're coming in and [TS]

01:20:29   you're damn banana and I had to go i had [TS]

01:20:34   to go told Gary that that was that in [TS]

01:20:37   keeping with neighborhood standards [TS]

01:20:39   uh-huh you know I don't know what [TS]

01:20:40   pornography is but I know what I see it [TS]

01:20:42   so hospitable it's in hospital and also [TS]

01:20:45   nobody's best with your van [TS]

01:20:47   except for fucking notes that you're [TS]

01:20:48   imagining tingly feel better [TS]

01:20:57   thanks for letting you out on that one [TS]

01:21:00   yeah you you have a bad cough John [TS]

01:21:02   Roderick [TS]