Roderick on the Line

Ep. 185: "I Reject Potatoes."


00:00:00   this episode of Roderick on the line is [TS]

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00:00:27   [Music] [TS]

00:00:32   hello hi John hi Merlin how's it going [TS]

00:00:37   good [TS]

00:00:39   ok happy Monday I feel like bears this [TS]

00:00:46   morning that the dancer in that band [TS]

00:00:48   yeah that's right the Happy Mondays wow [TS]

00:00:50   he's the dancer professional the [TS]

00:00:53   accompanying dancer is EOD startup [TS]

00:00:56   professional or when they must just [TS]

00:00:58   invite him on stage to do a little dance [TS]

00:00:59   I think he probably invited himself [TS]

00:01:02   onstage [TS]

00:01:03   yeah there was another band here in the [TS]

00:01:06   northwest that had had their own dancer [TS]

00:01:09   I i'd love to hear why feel like best [TS]

00:01:12   but also i am a fan of band to have a [TS]

00:01:15   superfluous dancer on stage I like that [TS]

00:01:17   how many do you know it depends on how [TS]

00:01:20   you define it i think bob from pavement [TS]

00:01:21   kind of started out as a guy doing dance [TS]

00:01:24   onstage [TS]

00:01:24   you're right i think you're right then [TS]

00:01:26   they gave him a stick right the other [TS]

00:01:28   day and they might give him a stick he [TS]

00:01:30   used to be the old drummer supposedly [TS]

00:01:33   used to lake and out food at the door [TS]

00:01:34   like sugar babies hand Gary's that his [TS]

00:01:37   name Carrie Carrie Carrie so many [TS]

00:01:41   cherries and they're all wonderful and [TS]

00:01:43   then there was at the time of course [TS]

00:01:44   like and then the sixth easy to have [TS]

00:01:45   people dancing on stage I think it was [TS]

00:01:47   just part of the people really used to [TS]

00:01:48   put on a show that's right there was a [TS]

00:01:52   Portland bank old hazel which was the [TS]

00:01:55   peak krebs band and they had a dancer [TS]

00:01:58   named fred fred was a little bit older [TS]

00:02:01   than everybody else in the band and the [TS]

00:02:03   thing i would think about them is that [TS]

00:02:05   they were just an indie rock band you [TS]

00:02:06   know they were there were excellent [TS]

00:02:08   indie rock band i remember the name very [TS]

00:02:10   much [TS]

00:02:11   yeah but they had a great land like a [TS]

00:02:13   middle-aged guy with the long beard [TS]

00:02:14   dancing on stage with them which at the [TS]

00:02:16   time was quite it quite a spectacle [TS]

00:02:20   now what you expected yeah well I like [TS]

00:02:23   to circle back to this can ask why I [TS]

00:02:24   feel like that's today [TS]

00:02:26   mmm jayla wind it no no let me tell you [TS]

00:02:30   so in my office now i have to rig a key [TS]

00:02:37   curing you kind of Kuric a cure egg [TS]

00:02:42   and so I spent I was a little bit late [TS]

00:02:44   to the program 15 minutes late because [TS]

00:02:46   that was the 15 minutes it took me to [TS]

00:02:48   figure out my care reg was this your [TS]

00:02:50   first of the first pole first one [TS]

00:02:53   sorry I'm saying I'm drinking it I'm [TS]

00:02:55   drinking it out of a mug that says my [TS]

00:02:56   own picture on it because that was the [TS]

00:02:59   only mug that I had here [TS]

00:03:00   uh-huh and hand it's delicious it's [TS]

00:03:05   delicious it's nutritious it's my own [TS]

00:03:07   coffee my own copy in my own strange [TS]

00:03:10   little packet coffeemaker I'm into it [TS]

00:03:13   though [TS]

00:03:14   yeah here I go was it a gift oh nice [TS]

00:03:18   oh the call coffee [TS]

00:03:21   it was it was Christmas present and it's [TS]

00:03:27   simple just Merlin it just simplifies [TS]

00:03:29   the process of making coffee so much all [TS]

00:03:32   you have to do is just push like 14 [TS]

00:03:34   buttons wait wait 11 minutes yeah I [TS]

00:03:38   don't want to rain on your parade [TS]

00:03:39   there's there's there's a few things I [TS]

00:03:41   really really like about the keurig and [TS]

00:03:43   then like a very large number of things [TS]

00:03:45   I don't like about it [TS]

00:03:46   mhm but it's me as a new keurig keurig [TS]

00:03:49   owner [TS]

00:03:50   I'm very very curious well I you know [TS]

00:03:52   maybe I should not hold back i don't [TS]

00:03:54   want to sour your experience of it [TS]

00:03:56   milady works in a job at a fancy office [TS]

00:03:59   and it's got lots of nice perks she can [TS]

00:04:02   like walk to the gym you know she got a [TS]

00:04:04   standing desk hundred rooms a lot of [TS]

00:04:07   turquoise turquoise it's the kind that's [TS]

00:04:08   why you get a job for the perks I think [TS]

00:04:11   when you get a job in you know in her [TS]

00:04:13   case medicine and education there's a [TS]

00:04:15   lot of parks free medicine but she's got [TS]

00:04:21   a Keurig machine the reason we ended up [TS]

00:04:23   getting a Keurig machine she has one in [TS]

00:04:25   her work place where she can walk a few [TS]

00:04:26   steps go to the little kitchen and the [TS]

00:04:28   thing about her current machine is its [TS]

00:04:30   got like a dedicated waterline whoa it's [TS]

00:04:33   a it's a it's a plugged in your eggs you [TS]

00:04:35   can you imagine how that changes [TS]

00:04:37   everything with fuckin changes [TS]

00:04:38   everything [TS]

00:04:39   you walk up to get one of these little [TS]

00:04:41   buckets it looks kinda like a [TS]

00:04:43   giant-sized cisco creamer [TS]

00:04:44   yeah he drop it in an incredibly sharp [TS]

00:04:47   needle goes into it and then it scored [TS]

00:04:48   some coffee for you [TS]

00:04:50   yeah it'sit's the the thing i will say [TS]

00:04:52   about the keurig it is when it works is [TS]

00:04:54   it is insanely can [TS]

00:04:55   distant mm inconvenient consistent [TS]

00:04:59   convenient those are two things that I [TS]

00:05:00   want [TS]

00:05:01   yeah because I a man you know I'm here [TS]

00:05:04   and at the office and sometimes I want [TS]

00:05:08   another cup of coffee but it's a long [TS]

00:05:09   way to get a cup of coffee here [TS]

00:05:11   well can I ask you about your iOS too [TS]

00:05:14   much better office for a variety of [TS]

00:05:15   reasons but what is the basic setup in [TS]

00:05:17   terms of amenities I assume that you [TS]

00:05:19   have a desk with your mac on it [TS]

00:05:21   you've got probably a lot of empty [TS]

00:05:22   amazon boxes there starts true and so [TS]

00:05:26   what what is the setup for things like [TS]

00:05:28   you know I'm always interested in [TS]

00:05:29   bathrooms your bathroom set up what's [TS]

00:05:31   the kitchen and food setup as the [TS]

00:05:34   refrigeration could you give a rough [TS]

00:05:35   idea of what today is like for you in [TS]

00:05:37   terms of the amenities and perks [TS]

00:05:38   absolutely so my offices as you know [TS]

00:05:41   constructed in a former immigration [TS]

00:05:44   prison [TS]

00:05:45   wha well yeah that really honest [TS]

00:05:49   well so it's a it's a beautiful art deco [TS]

00:05:52   building that was built to house [TS]

00:05:57   foreigners that we just we determined we [TS]

00:06:02   did not want to just roam around so this [TS]

00:06:06   was in the this was pre World War two [TS]

00:06:09   when the biggest sort of problem the [TS]

00:06:14   biggest immigration problem here in [TS]

00:06:16   Seattle I think we're Chinese and and [TS]

00:06:19   other sort of asian being Filipino knows [TS]

00:06:23   they were coming in the working on ships [TS]

00:06:26   and then they were trying to emigrate [TS]

00:06:27   and and we had some issue with that so [TS]

00:06:30   this was the new this was the new prison [TS]

00:06:32   at the time I think before that they [TS]

00:06:33   were just you know people whose [TS]

00:06:36   immigration status was unclear [TS]

00:06:38   we're just held in warehouses or Worf's [TS]

00:06:41   and in addition to being the new [TS]

00:06:43   immigration prison it was also the [TS]

00:06:46   assays office so if you wanted your if [TS]

00:06:49   you wanted your poke of gold assayed [TS]

00:06:53   would also bring it here if you wanted [TS]

00:06:56   your little if you wanted your your or [TS]

00:06:58   if you are not recognized at the rim you [TS]

00:07:00   can bring in what you find and let you [TS]

00:07:02   know if it's a good claim [TS]

00:07:03   oh well they will actually yeah they [TS]

00:07:06   will tell you I'll tell you what you're [TS]

00:07:08   golden [TS]

00:07:08   going for like it it's a well put it on [TS]

00:07:12   the scale in other words wow wow [TS]

00:07:15   and so it continued in that role and [TS]

00:07:19   then the war came [TS]

00:07:20   so there this was not I mean they they [TS]

00:07:24   decided that they were going to deport [TS]

00:07:25   all of the japanese-americans two camps [TS]

00:07:28   and this was sort of the headquarters of [TS]

00:07:31   that process also did started out more [TS]

00:07:35   like Vito Corleone in a room and became [TS]

00:07:38   more like a halfway house to getting [TS]

00:07:41   people to those camps during the war and [TS]

00:07:44   I'm a nap after the war successive waves [TS]

00:07:47   of people immigrating to Washington [TS]

00:07:50   created a you know sort of like a your [TS]

00:07:53   immigration statuses you don't have a [TS]

00:07:56   passport for you don't you know you are [TS]

00:07:59   applying for asylum here and it was a [TS]

00:08:02   kind of place that that the goal was to [TS]

00:08:05   process people through it but a lot of [TS]

00:08:08   times you find people who just need to [TS]

00:08:11   be deported to their original country [TS]

00:08:14   okay sometimes you find people where [TS]

00:08:17   they are original company doesn't her [TS]

00:08:18   country doesn't want them back and [TS]

00:08:21   that's where you get people in a limbo [TS]

00:08:22   state America wants to send them away [TS]

00:08:26   and then no country wants them i got and [TS]

00:08:30   so then they live in a limbo state where [TS]

00:08:32   they are locked in this prison until [TS]

00:08:36   they are until their statuses resolved [TS]

00:08:38   and as you can imagine the the people [TS]

00:08:40   whose job it is to resolve that status [TS]

00:08:42   are underpaid and overworked and harried [TS]

00:08:46   and so forth by talk about being stuck [TS]

00:08:47   in the system [TS]

00:08:48   yeah and so there there were for many [TS]

00:08:51   years people that just lived in a prison [TS]

00:08:53   and there was no they they continue to [TS]

00:08:56   have no status remember that guy that [TS]

00:08:57   lived in the airport he lived in he [TS]

00:08:59   landed in in the New York City edited [TS]

00:09:03   JFK I really needed they made a movie [TS]

00:09:05   about him because he is an international [TS]

00:09:07   airport and he couldn't couldn't get out [TS]

00:09:09   he couldn't go anyplace else [TS]

00:09:11   yeah right he just was stuck in this [TS]

00:09:13   like in-between State so this prison you [TS]

00:09:18   know developed a reputation as being a [TS]

00:09:20   pretty bad place [TS]

00:09:22   it's because there are people stuck here [TS]

00:09:23   for years and that no recourse to any [TS]

00:09:26   law so as time went on you know then [TS]

00:09:29   there were then there were a lot of [TS]

00:09:32   latin american people here and a lot of [TS]

00:09:34   Muslim people here and at a certain [TS]

00:09:38   point after nine eleven it was [TS]

00:09:41   determined that this prison wasn't big [TS]

00:09:43   enough we needed to build a new prison a [TS]

00:09:48   super-big state-of-the-art prison to [TS]

00:09:51   house all of the new people that we were [TS]

00:09:53   going to hold that to come in Northwest [TS]

00:09:57   detention center that's the one and so [TS]

00:09:59   this was the Bush era when we were a [TS]

00:10:01   building a lot of prisons and behold a [TS]

00:10:03   lot of people and so they they're here [TS]

00:10:06   was this there's this enormous [TS]

00:10:07   terracotta prison right in the center of [TS]

00:10:11   Seattle's international district that no [TS]

00:10:13   one knew what to do with so they just [TS]

00:10:14   surplus it i just sold it to some dudes [TS]

00:10:17   and the dudes thought oh man it's very [TS]

00:10:22   cool building they were like oh well [TS]

00:10:24   we'll set it up with t1 lines and it'll [TS]

00:10:26   be a super rad tech office [TS]

00:10:30   Wow and then the tech crashed sure and [TS]

00:10:38   they said you know what [TS]

00:10:40   rather than do that we're just gonna [TS]

00:10:43   throw up some drywall and ran into a [TS]

00:10:46   bunch of artists because right at that [TS]

00:10:48   time Seattle's pioneer square [TS]

00:10:49   neighborhood which had formerly been the [TS]

00:10:51   art artist loft place was being swept [TS]

00:10:55   with a with a wave of gentrification and [TS]

00:10:58   all the artists were getting pushed out [TS]

00:11:00   there was a place called The Washington [TS]

00:11:01   shoe building which was an old shoe [TS]

00:11:04   factory and it was that kind of artist [TS]

00:11:06   hive where you walk in and the walls [TS]

00:11:09   were all wackadoodle and people were [TS]

00:11:11   having crazy parties like wonderful [TS]

00:11:14   wonderful art parties and people living [TS]

00:11:18   in there illegally and you know and [TS]

00:11:19   making art so a lot of the old [TS]

00:11:23   respectable artists that have come up in [TS]

00:11:26   the Washington shoe building just moved [TS]

00:11:28   over to this place which was formerly [TS]

00:11:31   the [TS]

00:11:33   what they call it the lioness building [TS]

00:11:37   and the new owners change that too in [TS]

00:11:40   escape so IMS case inscape so no t1 [TS]

00:11:49   lines know uh amenities really of any [TS]

00:11:54   kind and my office is a corner office in [TS]

00:11:56   what was formerly the men's dormitory [TS]

00:11:59   where people lived in bunk beds in a [TS]

00:12:05   giant you know holding place where I [TS]

00:12:09   think they lived for a long long time [TS]

00:12:10   there were bars on the windows [TS]

00:12:12   I'm up on the top top floor so and and [TS]

00:12:17   you know there are stories of guys that [TS]

00:12:19   like climbed out on the on the ledge and [TS]

00:12:22   jump to their deaths because it was so [TS]

00:12:25   abysmal here my god [TS]

00:12:27   and now some artists have turned the [TS]

00:12:30   inscape building into a living museum [TS]

00:12:34   where they commemorate all of the areas [TS]

00:12:37   of of its prison dumb and there are all [TS]

00:12:43   kinds of art parties here now and it's a [TS]

00:12:46   and on my floor like painters and [TS]

00:12:50   photographers and there's a woman that [TS]

00:12:52   does a wonderful thing which i'm sure [TS]

00:12:54   you know about which is she goes into [TS]

00:12:57   business meetings and she diagrams the [TS]

00:13:00   meeting what maybe you don't know about [TS]

00:13:02   this yeah I love it out it's a kind of [TS]

00:13:04   art but also a business strategy where [TS]

00:13:11   they're having a meeting and she is kind [TS]

00:13:13   of simultaneously like turning the [TS]

00:13:15   meeting into a big a flow chart e wall [TS]

00:13:23   art thing which then allows you to look [TS]

00:13:25   at the meeting in and like a whole piece [TS]

00:13:29   of data data art Wow [TS]

00:13:33   I and let's see there's a woman next [TS]

00:13:36   door who is I mean there are a lot of [TS]

00:13:39   like the encaustic sculptor type people [TS]

00:13:44   who are melting wax and burning things [TS]

00:13:46   Potter's but what that means is an [TS]

00:13:52   industrial sink halfway down the hall [TS]

00:13:54   over a dormitory bathroom at the far end [TS]

00:13:59   of the hall from me and no kitchen no I [TS]

00:14:04   mean you just have to build your own [TS]

00:14:05   little kitchen in your own place so if [TS]

00:14:07   you want running water you gotta go to [TS]

00:14:08   the sink you go to the sink to go [TS]

00:14:10   ok alright you gotta go down the hall to [TS]

00:14:13   go to the bathroom which is like shared [TS]

00:14:17   yeah yeah I know and I mean but it's [TS]

00:14:20   kept its kept reasonably clean there's a [TS]

00:14:22   there's a manager here that sort of it [TS]

00:14:25   does a a pretty darn good job of running [TS]

00:14:28   heard on everybody [TS]

00:14:30   the free pile is pretty amazing down in [TS]

00:14:34   the basement right now i would say the [TS]

00:14:36   free pile has gone to shit people are [TS]

00:14:38   just dumping trash there but over the [TS]

00:14:40   years like you know you find a dentist [TS]

00:14:43   chair there i mean i've outfitted my [TS]

00:14:45   whole place with stuff I found in the [TS]

00:14:47   building the couch there's a table with [TS]

00:14:50   four chairs there's a desk [TS]

00:14:53   it's a it's living history living [TS]

00:14:56   history that's right and I like the [TS]

00:14:57   space i like the weird people so the [TS]

00:15:01   current is good fit for you in that [TS]

00:15:03   sense yet [TS]

00:15:04   that's right gotta fetch some water got [TS]

00:15:07   and I've got a picture so i can go get [TS]

00:15:09   the water without taking the courage up [TS]

00:15:11   curate apart right and uh yeah I've got [TS]

00:15:16   a little space heater yet fridge no [TS]

00:15:20   fridge [TS]

00:15:21   you should get fridge well so what i did [TS]

00:15:22   was i bought a I bought a box of those [TS]

00:15:24   little creamers oh they're like aseptic [TS]

00:15:28   don't go back rumors [TS]

00:15:30   no don't go bad dreamers and I figure [TS]

00:15:34   they won't go bad for six months or [TS]

00:15:35   something like that what else would I [TS]

00:15:37   want in the fridge Greek yogurt yogurt [TS]

00:15:39   you can have us ulcers [TS]

00:15:40   yeah I don't mind a warm seltzer yeah I [TS]

00:15:44   don't know one of my favorite things [TS]

00:15:45   I've got you've been here I [TS]

00:15:46   got a cosco dorm fridge right I've got [TS]

00:15:50   our old microwave and I've got a [TS]

00:15:53   Cuisinart hotpot water boiler for for [TS]

00:15:58   making hot beverages [TS]

00:16:00   well what's nice about your offices and [TS]

00:16:03   you got the private bathroom and always [TS]

00:16:05   just steps away [TS]

00:16:06   yes away and and that's great and you [TS]

00:16:09   know you could actually you know if you [TS]

00:16:11   and the wife had a disagreement you go [TS]

00:16:12   down and live in your office for don't [TS]

00:16:14   think I haven't thought about it and and [TS]

00:16:16   here I mean I sleep I take naps here of [TS]

00:16:19   course but i do it just stretched out on [TS]

00:16:21   the floor with it because the couch is [TS]

00:16:23   too small to sleep alone [TS]

00:16:25   yeah i got a sleeping bag and pillow i [TS]

00:16:26   pull out a couple times a month and I'm [TS]

00:16:28   worried that when on the very rare [TS]

00:16:29   occasion my landlord was really great [TS]

00:16:31   when he comes here I I worried that he [TS]

00:16:34   thinks there's something kind of weird [TS]

00:16:35   going on here huh [TS]

00:16:36   it's a live-work space yeah you know I [TS]

00:16:38   feel guilty worried about everything but [TS]

00:16:40   like yeah exactly that maybe maybe I'm [TS]

00:16:43   like stretching the stretching the code [TS]

00:16:44   a little bit so you've got a big shelf [TS]

00:16:46   unit that has a bunch of dolls on it [TS]

00:16:49   Supergirl and super boy and girl boy and [TS]

00:16:53   and dynamite win the Great DC villain [TS]

00:16:56   girl boy and and whatever like bat that [TS]

00:17:00   person and and green green person person [TS]

00:17:03   that big boob girl big girl with the [TS]

00:17:07   black eyes bigger bigger boobs girl on [TS]

00:17:10   my shelf let's see what i have i have a [TS]

00:17:12   have a piano i have a second piano what [TS]

00:17:16   well I mean like electric pianos look at [TS]

00:17:20   rhodes I i have a Wurlitzer and roads [TS]

00:17:23   and then I have a juno 106 and then I've [TS]

00:17:26   got a very big creative kazoos and also [TS]

00:17:30   this old long winters come and winters [TS]

00:17:32   kazoos we we bought you know 10,000 of [TS]

00:17:36   those and we sold a lot of them but we [TS]

00:17:38   still have a lot of them and I've got [TS]

00:17:41   some oh I don't want to say kind of what [TS]

00:17:44   I've got because people are going to [TS]

00:17:45   start hassling me but I've got some long [TS]

00:17:47   winners by know some John Roderick books [TS]

00:17:51   some old t-shirts vintage long winters [TS]

00:17:53   t-shirts including a couple of girl [TS]

00:17:57   baseball sleeve snowblower t-shirts [TS]

00:18:01   wow this is all classics and and i'm [TS]

00:18:04   just imagining you have any of your you [TS]

00:18:07   know [TS]

00:18:07   Roderick campaign materials there I've [TS]

00:18:09   got some robber campaign materials [TS]

00:18:11   anybody's interested in moans that's [TS]

00:18:12   quite a living museum you got there it [TS]

00:18:14   is i was including a giant banner a huge [TS]

00:18:17   huge Roderick Roderick band is unfurled [TS]

00:18:19   uh-huh [TS]

00:18:20   not on 400 i could put it on the wall [TS]

00:18:22   but I wouldn't still a little soon soon [TS]

00:18:25   too soon and then I've got various and [TS]

00:18:29   sundry things that I found in the free [TS]

00:18:31   pile that I was like I'm yeah what the [TS]

00:18:35   hell that that's a cool box i did that [TS]

00:18:38   some of the fun things down the street [TS]

00:18:39   now there's nothing to worry about with [TS]

00:18:40   the landlord says I'll find things on [TS]

00:18:41   the street and I just pick it up for no [TS]

00:18:43   reason to bring it like I've gotta get a [TS]

00:18:45   pallet yeah i don't know why i have a [TS]

00:18:47   palette but I thought maybe somebody [TS]

00:18:48   that could use that for something [TS]

00:18:50   well sure after the apocalypse you break [TS]

00:18:51   it up and we'll make a campfire you can [TS]

00:18:53   make a campfire very very tiny house [TS]

00:18:55   oh you can make a tiny house that's [TS]

00:18:56   right for uh for the girl boy to live in [TS]

00:18:59   your boy and green green boil it and [TS]

00:19:02   Wilberforce and open borders and uh like [TS]

00:19:06   I'd lady [TS]

00:19:07   yeah dr. bold this episode of Roderick [TS]

00:19:11   on the line is brought to you in part by [TS]

00:19:12   Squarespace you can learn more about [TS]

00:19:14   Squarespace right now by going to [TS]

00:19:16   squarespace.com as you probably know i'm [TS]

00:19:19   a huge fan and evangelist to squarespace [TS]

00:19:21   I've used them for over five years now [TS]

00:19:23   and I think the best it's not only the [TS]

00:19:25   place that I use for hosting me my own [TS]

00:19:27   sites and yes my podcast including the [TS]

00:19:29   one you're listening to [TS]

00:19:30   it's also the first place i recommend [TS]

00:19:32   for anybody who wants to do the same [TS]

00:19:34   Squarespace eyes are gorgeous they are [TS]

00:19:35   professionally designed masterpieces and [TS]

00:19:37   they look great out-of-the-box you do [TS]

00:19:39   not have to get nerd to make these [TS]

00:19:40   things work they have intuitive [TS]

00:19:42   easy-to-use tools that take all the pain [TS]

00:19:44   of getting your stuff up plus square [TS]

00:19:46   space has state-of-the-art technology to [TS]

00:19:47   power your site that ensure security and [TS]

00:19:50   stability even if you get a link from an [TS]

00:19:52   internet celebrity like John Roderick [TS]

00:19:54   Squarespace is trusted by millions of [TS]

00:19:56   people and some of the most respected [TS]

00:19:57   companies in the world and today i will [TS]

00:19:59   remind you that Squarespace also offer [TS]

00:20:01   some amazing ecommerce functionality [TS]

00:20:03   that means with squarespace you can [TS]

00:20:05   design a best-in-class online storefront [TS]

00:20:07   you sell your own stuff right on the [TS]

00:20:09   internet it's crazy [TS]

00:20:10   you get award-winning templates [TS]

00:20:11   customizable settings shoppable look [TS]

00:20:14   books and more all without a single [TS]

00:20:16   plug-in thing is you're starting to look [TS]

00:20:18   great everywhere including on mobile [TS]

00:20:19   managing orders pain listen even help [TS]

00:20:22   you determine shipping rates and [TS]

00:20:23   generate labels it's all in one place [TS]

00:20:25   this is solid gold [TS]

00:20:27   here's the part that's crazytown banana [TS]

00:20:28   pants these Squarespace plans they start [TS]

00:20:30   at eight dollars a month that even [TS]

00:20:32   includes a free domain name if you sign [TS]

00:20:34   up for a year which you should totally [TS]

00:20:36   do so please check these folks i love [TS]

00:20:38   them i use them I tell everybody go give [TS]

00:20:40   these folks to try the best and tell [TS]

00:20:42   your friends about it can start your [TS]

00:20:43   free trial site today with no credit [TS]

00:20:46   card required by visiting [TS]

00:20:48   squarespace.com and when you decide to [TS]

00:20:49   sign up for Squarespace please make sure [TS]

00:20:51   to use that very special offer code [TS]

00:20:52   super training and that will get you ten [TS]

00:20:55   percent off your first purchase [TS]

00:20:56   beautiful website [TS]

00:20:58   oh I'm so happy our thanks to [TS]

00:21:00   squarespace for supporting Robert on the [TS]

00:21:02   line and all the great shows [TS]

00:21:04   Squarespace build it beautiful use my [TS]

00:21:08   i'm such a poor housekeeper that even [TS]

00:21:11   now I all of your stuff including the [TS]

00:21:14   coffee cup used all still in exactly the [TS]

00:21:16   same place I haven't moved it [TS]

00:21:17   oh really oh yeah yeah yeah yeah I is a [TS]

00:21:21   giant is a giant pile of Marvel dolls on [TS]

00:21:24   the floor that you that you have [TS]

00:21:25   examined in described me that well yeah [TS]

00:21:28   I could tell i could tell that it wasn't [TS]

00:21:31   you hadn't recently swept through there [TS]

00:21:34   with a big cleaning [TS]

00:21:36   well this is the problem with my [TS]

00:21:37   questions it said we should give [TS]

00:21:38   accurate i guess but but you know I it [TS]

00:21:41   seems like you have a very particular [TS]

00:21:43   feeling about your space at home and you [TS]

00:21:46   have your collections and you've got [TS]

00:21:47   things set up a certain way so does that [TS]

00:21:50   same philosophy apply at your office [TS]

00:21:53   because I mostly just clean up [TS]

00:21:54   occasionally move stuff around and [TS]

00:21:55   fillmore bankers boxes it's pretty [TS]

00:21:57   utilitarian let me say that the state of [TS]

00:22:02   my house currently is embarrassing [TS]

00:22:07   no I say that John Robert why would you [TS]

00:22:10   say such a thing [TS]

00:22:11   well because somewhere along the line in [TS]

00:22:14   october i just started to let it all go [TS]

00:22:20   to hell [TS]

00:22:21   I and i put it back together I think [TS]

00:22:23   once in late October did a big clean put [TS]

00:22:26   everything back together but it was it [TS]

00:22:28   was it wasn't that the house itself was [TS]

00:22:32   teetering but it was that I was [TS]

00:22:33   teetering and then in November I let it [TS]

00:22:36   go again when it also this point you're [TS]

00:22:38   still dealing with the election [TS]

00:22:40   well I'm you know I'm i have processed [TS]

00:22:43   it but i'm looking into the future I'm [TS]

00:22:45   like what's gonna happen until I got an [TS]

00:22:47   October when was the one did your part [TS]

00:22:50   in the race and beginning of august so i [TS]

00:22:52   can open that long [TS]

00:22:54   yeah gosh i know that saying the City [TS]

00:22:59   Council the seattle city council has [TS]

00:23:01   been seeded the election is completely [TS]

00:23:05   over and they've all taken their jobs [TS]

00:23:07   and won't be the same without you [TS]

00:23:08   well it's true it's true but there you [TS]

00:23:10   know the Seattle Seattle just didn't [TS]

00:23:12   share my vision yet yet [TS]

00:23:15   that's right anyway I let it go in [TS]

00:23:18   november and then I went away for a [TS]

00:23:19   month and a half on tour tourists [TS]

00:23:22   tourists kind of things and now walking [TS]

00:23:25   into my house that you'll be greeted by [TS]

00:23:28   just utter chaos chaos in every [TS]

00:23:31   direction including I took apart my I [TS]

00:23:34   talk about my bed in order to replace it [TS]

00:23:37   with my Casper bed and that whole [TS]

00:23:40   process because i'm sleeping now on the [TS]

00:23:42   Casper bed that I put in the guest room [TS]

00:23:45   right so i emigrated to the guest room [TS]

00:23:48   and in the whole time I've lived in the [TS]

00:23:49   house I'd ever I never lived in the [TS]

00:23:50   guest room [TS]

00:23:51   it's the guest room I said says it right [TS]

00:23:53   on it but another one that Kevin the [TS]

00:23:55   back by the stairs there's stairs okay [TS]

00:23:57   now I'm living in the guest room and my [TS]

00:23:59   bedroom like the sleigh bed is all [TS]

00:24:01   dismantled but hasn't been moved [TS]

00:24:04   there's an extra couch upstairs that [TS]

00:24:06   doesn't belong there that never should [TS]

00:24:08   have gone there it was hard to get there [TS]

00:24:10   and now it has to get out of there are [TS]

00:24:12   you singing my song ah yeah and there's [TS]

00:24:15   a desk up there that doesn't belong [TS]

00:24:17   there [TS]

00:24:18   there's a there's a there's a new Casper [TS]

00:24:20   reality just waiting to be implemented [TS]

00:24:24   and then downstairs [TS]

00:24:27   oh there's another desk that doesn't [TS]

00:24:28   belong there there's some furniture that [TS]

00:24:31   I just there's some furniture i found in [TS]

00:24:32   the barn that needs to go [TS]

00:24:35   i'm wearing my couch out and on top of [TS]

00:24:38   it all is a thousand unread New Yorker [TS]

00:24:41   magazines all that stuff I got back from [TS]

00:24:44   the burglary that i decided i needed to [TS]

00:24:46   sort again [TS]

00:24:48   oh sure it's got to find a new place in [TS]

00:24:50   there in your new new reality right but [TS]

00:24:51   that's all half sorted and then there's [TS]

00:24:54   a layer of like a layer of books and [TS]

00:24:58   novels and stuff that's all on top of [TS]

00:25:00   that and then there's a layer of just [TS]

00:25:04   wall over everything [TS]

00:25:06   sure and so a every time I walk into my [TS]

00:25:09   house now I'm I'm overwhelmed by the the [TS]

00:25:14   daunting scale of just what needs to be [TS]

00:25:18   done and so I'm becoming someone who's [TS]

00:25:21   just walking through the clearing on the [TS]

00:25:24   way and there are a lot of like i said i [TS]

00:25:26   started doing my Bobby's and projects in [TS]

00:25:28   the kitchen because there wasn't any [TS]

00:25:29   space anywhere and how the kitchen [TS]

00:25:31   counters are all covered with boxes is [TS]

00:25:33   this is so similar so similar to what [TS]

00:25:35   we're dealing with at home right now [TS]

00:25:37   where there's been this perfect storm is [TS]

00:25:39   an overused phrase but there's been a [TS]

00:25:41   confluence of several things that have [TS]

00:25:43   happened including that my wife works [TS]

00:25:46   full-time now I'm you know not super [TS]

00:25:48   busy but I'm doing more than I was like [TS]

00:25:50   six months ago [TS]

00:25:51   christmas comes along so all kinds of [TS]

00:25:55   new things come in the house because of [TS]

00:25:56   christmas and also my daughter I am on [TS]

00:26:01   the one hand very proud to say has [TS]

00:26:03   gotten really into will just say arts [TS]

00:26:06   and crafts she's very but feel like [TS]

00:26:08   drawing you know painting that kind of [TS]

00:26:10   stuff that's bad enough but she's also [TS]

00:26:11   does things with beads and just all of [TS]

00:26:14   these little projects there's lego [TS]

00:26:15   everywhere and my problem is like I hear [TS]

00:26:19   you because I feel like I come in the [TS]

00:26:20   house and it's a little depressing [TS]

00:26:21   partly because it's like a tile puzzle [TS]

00:26:25   we're like if I if half of this stuff [TS]

00:26:27   was just gone [TS]

00:26:29   I would be able to clean the place up [TS]

00:26:30   right you can't really properly if you [TS]

00:26:32   got two deaths you don't need your house [TS]

00:26:33   like you got a bigger problem [TS]

00:26:35   yes you need a holler you need you need [TS]

00:26:37   somebody to come in with the big claw [TS]

00:26:38   and like actually take some giant things [TS]

00:26:40   out to make more room in the tile puzzle [TS]

00:26:42   that's exactly right and then on top of [TS]

00:26:44   it like one of the big problems and [TS]

00:26:46   I and I'm embarrassed to say this but [TS]

00:26:49   one of the big problems [TS]

00:26:51   honestly is that I have too many blazers [TS]

00:26:52   in the last that seems like something [TS]

00:26:57   you could collect and organize but but [TS]

00:27:01   there's only so much closet space in any [TS]

00:27:03   one place and I just I just really found [TS]

00:27:09   a lot of good blazers in the last couple [TS]

00:27:11   of years and and I didn't say no to any [TS]

00:27:15   of them the good ones because they were [TS]

00:27:17   only eight dollars and they were lovely [TS]

00:27:19   but now i have so many Blazers that I [TS]

00:27:23   just don't have the closet space for [TS]

00:27:25   them but I take them out and I arrange [TS]

00:27:26   them you know I spread them out and look [TS]

00:27:29   at them and say which of these plays can [TS]

00:27:30   I get rid of alcohol i need the orange [TS]

00:27:33   linen 1i need the green felt one and I [TS]

00:27:37   need the blue tweet whether i need that [TS]

00:27:40   other tweet one and then pretty soon I'm [TS]

00:27:42   like in that headspace where it's like [TS]

00:27:44   well what if i get asked to a2 an orange [TS]

00:27:46   tweed party [TS]

00:27:47   yeah right you're gonna find that twice [TS]

00:27:49   yeah right so then and that's part of [TS]

00:27:52   part of like the looming ebay store that [TS]

00:27:54   i'm going to launch is going to be a [TS]

00:27:55   player up like a pipeline for all this [TS]

00:27:57   stuff to go out into the world and I'm [TS]

00:28:00   just hoping the problem is when we when [TS]

00:28:02   we did our show our live show the other [TS]

00:28:03   day i was looking at the audience and I [TS]

00:28:05   was saying how many of these people are [TS]

00:28:07   44 and 46 Long's right because that's [TS]

00:28:11   the that's the market for pretty much [TS]

00:28:14   everything I own [TS]

00:28:16   I'm gonna put a bunch of Blazers up [TS]

00:28:17   online but if you're not a 44 long or 46 [TS]

00:28:20   long or 42 long list says there can't be [TS]

00:28:22   that many people who buy it just to have [TS]

00:28:25   you know a creepy piece of John's past [TS]

00:28:27   yeah people are going to put it on the [TS]

00:28:28   wall like a kimono now man can imagine [TS]

00:28:30   that said a tweed jacket up up on the [TS]

00:28:34   wall in a big giant frame in the John [TS]

00:28:36   room [TS]

00:28:37   um so no I expect that these will be [TS]

00:28:40   practical items for people but there [TS]

00:28:42   it's gonna be a limited number of people [TS]

00:28:44   if you are if you're 56 these things are [TS]

00:28:47   going to be its there's not really going [TS]

00:28:50   to be anything I'll be pretty cute girl [TS]

00:28:53   like a girl 56 of the pixie cut where [TS]

00:28:54   246 long and pretty cute how with the [TS]

00:28:57   belt [TS]

00:28:58   love you like a ribbon belt exactly and [TS]

00:29:00   rolled up sleeves i mean i could see it [TS]

00:29:02   I can't do I actually that's pretty cute [TS]

00:29:05   is super cute but yeah just move the [TS]

00:29:08   buttons right just move the buttons over [TS]

00:29:10   and to make it into a double-breasted [TS]

00:29:12   jacket with Johnny I got it is believed [TS]

00:29:14   that it would look like come on now I [TS]

00:29:17   mhm [TS]

00:29:19   I i think i've talked about this before [TS]

00:29:20   but like there's something I do every [TS]

00:29:21   depending on where it is what it is [TS]

00:29:23   every year two or three which is called [TS]

00:29:26   the hauling guy and the thing is this is [TS]

00:29:30   not this is the final part of the [TS]

00:29:32   problem but getting to that part is [TS]

00:29:34   difficult so basically there's these [TS]

00:29:36   places you can call and I don't like [TS]

00:29:38   doing this I feel weird about it I don't [TS]

00:29:40   think it's super environmentally sound [TS]

00:29:42   but my environment needs to be made more [TS]

00:29:44   sound by doing this which is i will just [TS]

00:29:46   get a and I don't know this for you but [TS]

00:29:49   it's time to think about you get some [TS]

00:29:51   contractor bags like a bunch of [TS]

00:29:53   contractor bags and just just start [TS]

00:29:55   feeling feeling feeling feeling feeling [TS]

00:29:56   them up and the amazing part is like I [TS]

00:29:59   go through so much anxiety with that [TS]

00:30:01   where it's like a I don't want to miss [TS]

00:30:03   out i don't want to deal with this I [TS]

00:30:04   don't want this stuff going to dump I [TS]

00:30:05   feel terrible about all of this but the [TS]

00:30:07   amazing part is in my case a few months [TS]

00:30:08   ago I did this from my office and this [TS]

00:30:10   guy like five guys and a big pickup [TS]

00:30:13   truck show up and honestly it was about [TS]

00:30:14   18 minutes from my life is virtually [TS]

00:30:18   unlivable in this office to like a new [TS]

00:30:20   start and it's it is one of those like [TS]

00:30:24   talk about a weight off your shoulders [TS]

00:30:25   again I'm not saying it's the greatest [TS]

00:30:27   thing environmentally but like what you [TS]

00:30:29   gonna do you gonna be your own personal [TS]

00:30:30   garbage dump for the rest your life own [TS]

00:30:32   personal garbage dome but just if you [TS]

00:30:37   could just get the the desks out that [TS]

00:30:41   would be a start you have some kids come [TS]

00:30:42   and carry your desks out that would be a [TS]

00:30:43   huge start [TS]

00:30:44   you can also do something like a task [TS]

00:30:46   rabbit you can have somebody coming make [TS]

00:30:47   a bed for you that's probably a few [TS]

00:30:48   uh-huh but I'm just saying you might [TS]

00:30:50   need to outsource some of this hey kids [TS]

00:30:51   get these desks out of here you can find [TS]

00:30:53   some merchants in the neighborhood [TS]

00:30:55   well and so the thing is like I'm [TS]

00:30:57   starting to look at my candlestick [TS]

00:30:58   collection with with the different I [TS]

00:31:00   with it with a little bit of a jaundiced [TS]

00:31:01   eye [TS]

00:31:02   yeah i'm saying i got too many [TS]

00:31:03   candlesticks I really don't i don't need [TS]

00:31:05   these and that's something i could put [TS]

00:31:07   on my ebay store and someone of any size [TS]

00:31:09   could buy [TS]

00:31:10   you need in some ways your barn is [TS]

00:31:12   probably not up to it you wouldn't want [TS]

00:31:14   to be your office [TS]

00:31:15   I don't think anybody else in your life [TS]

00:31:16   would allow it you need a third place a [TS]

00:31:19   storage shed not great because nobody [TS]

00:31:20   ever open the storage shed after nobody [TS]

00:31:22   over just becomes this place where [TS]

00:31:23   spiders live [TS]

00:31:24   that's it becomes the place where [TS]

00:31:26   spiders move into your stuff yeah right [TS]

00:31:28   but you kind of need you need you know [TS]

00:31:29   you almost could get one of those [TS]

00:31:31   storage that you can have those like it [TS]

00:31:33   the way they move now you can have a big [TS]

00:31:35   storage container you put your stuff in [TS]

00:31:36   and they ship that out to a place and [TS]

00:31:38   you almost could use a storage container [TS]

00:31:39   somewhere on your property from month it [TS]

00:31:43   is a thing what I really want and need [TS]

00:31:45   is a basement like I'm a basement [TS]

00:31:48   dweller truly amazed i learned that [TS]

00:31:50   about myself there are people who like [TS]

00:31:52   to live in an upstairs environment i am [TS]

00:31:54   at late at night I want to be in a [TS]

00:31:56   basement [TS]

00:31:57   yeah and if I'm in a basement then it [TS]

00:32:00   then it feels it feels appropriate that [TS]

00:32:02   I be surrounded by crazy projects and [TS]

00:32:05   it's all down in daddy's basement and [TS]

00:32:08   can be closed the door and just the [TS]

00:32:10   insanity happens down there you can play [TS]

00:32:11   the guitar you can you can build a train [TS]

00:32:14   set you can do whatever lunatic thing [TS]

00:32:17   that you want to do but my house doesn't [TS]

00:32:19   have a basement it's just one of those [TS]

00:32:21   houses that was built up built on the [TS]

00:32:24   ground for all intensive purposes and [TS]

00:32:27   it's the one thing that i rue is that I [TS]

00:32:32   don't have a basement and you know I [TS]

00:32:33   could dig out under the house and build [TS]

00:32:35   a basement but what a project [TS]

00:32:38   oh come on no vault oh no that would be [TS]

00:32:42   too much with the last place that I [TS]

00:32:43   lived in Tallahassee and Tallahassee is [TS]

00:32:47   not so much of a basement kind of place [TS]

00:32:49   in seattle basement play so there are a [TS]

00:32:51   lot of basements there I depends but no [TS]

00:32:54   I mean yes but no it's not it's not a [TS]

00:32:58   massive there are basements but it's not [TS]

00:33:01   like you know the you know mid-atlantic [TS]

00:33:03   or the Midwest were like you just get a [TS]

00:33:05   basement the size of your house with [TS]

00:33:07   your house [TS]

00:33:07   no it's I mean they're they're plenty of [TS]

00:33:10   houses here have basements plenty don't [TS]

00:33:12   I mean in Anchorage a lot of houses that [TS]

00:33:16   don't have basements they're just you [TS]

00:33:17   know they just throw some boards on the [TS]

00:33:20   ground and start building a house [TS]

00:33:21   in Tallahassee i would imagine that [TS]

00:33:23   you'd have alligators down there right [TS]

00:33:25   away yeah because of the sea level [TS]

00:33:26   situation it's not as bad as Miami but [TS]

00:33:28   like the last house I lived in which [TS]

00:33:30   seemed probably expensive at seven [TS]

00:33:32   hundred fifty dollars a month had an [TS]

00:33:35   entire it wasn't actually technically it [TS]

00:33:37   wasn't part of the house that we were [TS]

00:33:39   renting so like we weren't supposed to [TS]

00:33:40   use it but except to do like laundry but [TS]

00:33:43   oh my god it had an entire you don't [TS]

00:33:45   talk about where you've got a basement [TS]

00:33:46   that's almost the size of your house and [TS]

00:33:48   it's in it's the footprint of your house [TS]

00:33:50   and it was it was finished so that it [TS]

00:33:51   could be like a nice in law [TS]

00:33:54   oh yeah and it had like a full bathroom [TS]

00:33:56   and had a whole separate area like [TS]

00:33:59   utility area for storage and and laundry [TS]

00:34:03   oh you're giving me a chubby I know what [TS]

00:34:06   if you live in a Seattle San Francisco [TS]

00:34:08   New in Manhattan like you know like oh [TS]

00:34:10   my god what a dream that that would be [TS]

00:34:11   to have your own dedicated Eric area for [TS]

00:34:14   stuff that like wasn't the the living [TS]

00:34:16   right now stuff that you could go down [TS]

00:34:18   to play guitar [TS]

00:34:18   oh my god what a dream you remember the [TS]

00:34:20   split-level house did you ever live in a [TS]

00:34:21   split-level uh I think I know what that [TS]

00:34:25   means we're looking like a sunken living [TS]

00:34:26   room in a ranch-style house [TS]

00:34:28   no no no level with that were they both [TS]

00:34:30   the parents have their own area while [TS]

00:34:31   you walk in the front door [TS]

00:34:33   let's split plan split split split plan [TS]

00:34:37   split plan what plan is a very popular [TS]

00:34:42   kind of design way but plans but plan so [TS]

00:34:44   you got you got a middle area of the [TS]

00:34:45   house [TS]

00:34:46   we've got all the common rooms way over [TS]

00:34:48   in this other side of the house you've [TS]

00:34:49   got two or three bedrooms for dumb kids [TS]

00:34:51   and then and then there's this wing over [TS]

00:34:53   here we go down a hallway and you enter [TS]

00:34:55   into this zone with a separate door for [TS]

00:34:58   like your entire grown-up master living [TS]

00:35:00   area so I like a separate zone right and [TS]

00:35:02   she got a giant bc go into a door and [TS]

00:35:04   you've got your giant giant closet maybe [TS]

00:35:06   two closets you got a big bathroom and [TS]

00:35:09   you got your big master bedroom maid [TS]

00:35:12   with a sliding door in a wet bar that's [TS]

00:35:14   a fantastic sounding thing but a [TS]

00:35:17   split-level house sorry is one where you [TS]

00:35:21   walk in the front door and you are [TS]

00:35:23   immediately greeted by a choice [TS]

00:35:25   upstairs or downstairs like the stairs [TS]

00:35:29   sure the entryway is basically you're on [TS]

00:35:33   a landing between [TS]

00:35:35   going up and going down I totally know [TS]

00:35:37   what you mean it's not exactly a [TS]

00:35:38   townhouse it's kind of a classic like [TS]

00:35:40   big city philadelphia is kind of place [TS]

00:35:42   where you get this area the zone a [TS]

00:35:44   common zone you come into we're like [TS]

00:35:45   okay will you go down to the sleeping [TS]

00:35:48   and hang out or like up to the kitchen [TS]

00:35:49   in family area [TS]

00:35:52   yes but no no this is a suburban house [TS]

00:35:55   which is which is wider than it is deep [TS]

00:35:59   so its wide it's it's it's it's built on [TS]

00:36:03   the it's built on the the with when you [TS]

00:36:07   look at it from the front there's always [TS]

00:36:09   a there's always kind of a two-car [TS]

00:36:10   garage and then the the Duke the front [TS]

00:36:13   door is sets not in the very middle of [TS]

00:36:16   the the face but sort of you know skewed [TS]

00:36:19   over two-thirds front door is two-thirds [TS]

00:36:21   in you know a classic proportion [TS]

00:36:25   yeah sure you walk in and you either go [TS]

00:36:28   upstairs to a big open plan living room [TS]

00:36:32   and then there's a little dining room in [TS]

00:36:35   the back and then a kind of long kitchen [TS]

00:36:37   and then down the hall from the living [TS]

00:36:42   room back over the two-car garage are [TS]

00:36:44   like three to four bedrooms [TS]

00:36:46   let's say three bedrooms ickk [TS]

00:36:50   not-not-not brady bunch but like I kind [TS]

00:36:51   of classic there's it's got a little [TS]

00:36:53   pop-up yep now you're getting it [TS]

00:36:55   okay get it sort of Brady Bunch was it [TS]

00:36:57   was a very cool modern architectural the [TS]

00:37:01   cool one example of this but it would [TS]

00:37:04   have been in a neighborhood of these and [TS]

00:37:06   then if you go downstairs there's a a [TS]

00:37:09   big wreck room and probably another [TS]

00:37:13   bathroom the laundry room and another [TS]

00:37:16   bedroom and that is the fat that bottom [TS]

00:37:23   bedroom is the 1i think that you put [TS]

00:37:26   your teenager in or you're mother right [TS]

00:37:30   it's the it's the one that's like it's [TS]

00:37:34   not it's not part of you you can have [TS]

00:37:37   the whole top floor be your house where [TS]

00:37:40   everybody's living and hanging out but [TS]

00:37:41   and that bottom big rec room can be your [TS]

00:37:43   TV room then there's a back [TS]

00:37:46   droom yeah and that's where first time [TS]

00:37:48   where we kind of mutually agree we want [TS]

00:37:50   that personal space [TS]

00:37:51   yeah you go there there's a skill your [TS]

00:37:53   own bathroom [TS]

00:37:54   bottom floor of the split-level house [TS]

00:37:56   pal and I lived in a split-level house [TS]

00:38:00   right as I was transitioning into being [TS]

00:38:03   a teenager and I couldn't have been [TS]

00:38:05   happier that was circa ozzy osbourne's [TS]

00:38:10   blizzard of Oz whoo-hoo [TS]

00:38:12   and I I worked out a situation I i [TS]

00:38:15   designed a system where I could sit in [TS]

00:38:17   bed and I had a string that I could pull [TS]

00:38:21   that went up to an eyebolt above my bed [TS]

00:38:25   and then the string went across the [TS]

00:38:27   ceiling to an eyebolt on the far side of [TS]

00:38:30   the room and then down to the not for to [TS]

00:38:35   the pullout knob that turned on my TV my [TS]

00:38:39   goodness and my TV was you know like a [TS]

00:38:42   little R it was red plastic TV there was [TS]

00:38:49   a seriously about the size of one of [TS]

00:38:51   these amazon boxes like a portable TV a [TS]

00:38:54   portable TV that's right and so I could [TS]

00:38:56   pull this I could pull out this the on [TS]

00:38:59   button and course we only had three [TS]

00:39:03   channels plus PBS [TS]

00:39:07   yep and I would pull out i would pull [TS]

00:39:11   the TV on and watch mel's diner and then [TS]

00:39:15   I had a I had another rope another piece [TS]

00:39:20   of string went up and turned on the [TS]

00:39:22   light [TS]

00:39:23   I have this whole system and in my [TS]

00:39:26   bathroom i had a jar of Lipton's instant [TS]

00:39:29   iced tea which I drank like 5 tall [TS]

00:39:35   glasses of a day [TS]

00:39:36   me too not realizing that it was full of [TS]

00:39:39   caffeine i would take a pitch I would [TS]

00:39:41   watch Carol Burnett and drink an entire [TS]

00:39:42   picture that by myself wasn't that [TS]

00:39:43   incredible stuff that Lipton's tea we [TS]

00:39:46   would get the the Nestea and I was not [TS]

00:39:48   easy all you do is add water and a [TS]

00:39:50   picture with ice cubes and then you just [TS]

00:39:51   you just drinking sugary tea for our [TS]

00:39:53   trick and sugar tea i loved it i still [TS]

00:39:56   have a jar of it in my pantry with [TS]

00:39:59   I never touch i just have it there i [TS]

00:40:02   have it in the pantry just to look at it [TS]

00:40:04   and go like huh yep because i drank so [TS]

00:40:07   much about me too and I was so happy you [TS]

00:40:12   could make it there right in your room [TS]

00:40:13   can make it in the room so so I had my [TS]

00:40:15   own corner of the house and I had it [TS]

00:40:17   rigged up exactly how I wanted it I [TS]

00:40:20   there was a little desk where I could [TS]

00:40:22   build my model of the USS Enterprise [TS]

00:40:24   then I do not mean the fucking spaceship [TS]

00:40:27   I mean the aircraft carrier ok and a boy [TS]

00:40:33   will when people to think you're no no I [TS]

00:40:37   was building the aircraft carrier [TS]

00:40:38   actually which is cool and not the [TS]

00:40:41   starship enterprise which was also [TS]

00:40:45   instrumental Starship Enterprise you [TS]

00:40:46   wouldn't have said USS enterprise would [TS]

00:40:47   have said starship that's right i [TS]

00:40:50   remember in 1900 this have been you know [TS]

00:40:55   8081 I remember building a model of a [TS]

00:40:59   b-52 bomber because in 1981 during the [TS]

00:41:05   Reagan administration the b-52 bomber [TS]

00:41:08   was slated to be retired and I and I was [TS]

00:41:13   working hard on this model because i [TS]

00:41:16   wanted to finish it before the b-52 was [TS]

00:41:19   taken out of service and for those of [TS]

00:41:22   you listening at home you know that the [TS]

00:41:24   b-52 is still in service [TS]

00:41:27   wow so I was in a big hurry in anyone to [TS]

00:41:30   get this thing done because it was going [TS]

00:41:32   to be replaced with the new the new b-1 [TS]

00:41:35   bomber brand-new b-1 bomber Reagan [TS]

00:41:38   administration was going to build a [TS]

00:41:39   thousand of these of course right there [TS]

00:41:42   was a big deal [TS]

00:41:43   yeah and then it got it wasn't a good [TS]

00:41:45   bomber and it and it didn't it got [TS]

00:41:47   canceled but not cancelled that they [TS]

00:41:50   built like you know however many of them [TS]

00:41:52   and then they decided well we'll keep [TS]

00:41:54   these b---fifty twos around i think the [TS]

00:41:56   b1 bombers are still flying to the ones [TS]

00:41:59   that we build our still fly anyway [TS]

00:42:02   that's a little bit of an aside but not [TS]

00:42:06   that this show ever has an aside [TS]

00:42:08   god forbid but yeah the split-level [TS]

00:42:11   house I it wasn't actually a basement [TS]

00:42:15   you wouldn't call it a basement you [TS]

00:42:17   would call it even though it was [TS]

00:42:19   slightly subterranean right it was it [TS]

00:42:22   was three feet of it was underground but [TS]

00:42:25   a net but i miss that i miss that [TS]

00:42:28   separate area [TS]

00:42:29   I don't have that in my house i need a [TS]

00:42:32   separate area [TS]

00:42:34   oh my god be so nice and it's like no [TS]

00:42:36   grown-up dads get again [TS]

00:42:38   yeah again like like like the great mike [TS]

00:42:40   brady the architect you know he had his [TS]

00:42:41   den and he went in there to do is work [TS]

00:42:43   at his table and you're supposed to bug [TS]

00:42:45   him [TS]

00:42:46   hmm you know that was dad's area you [TS]

00:42:48   don't bug dad when he's in his den i [TS]

00:42:50   think it's something else is fine so [TS]

00:42:51   funny your pinpoint exactly a time in my [TS]

00:42:54   life when I was very much the same way [TS]

00:42:55   where I can I was always just trying to [TS]

00:42:57   find a new Enclave and for some kids [TS]

00:43:00   maybe that was a treehouse but for me [TS]

00:43:01   that would be like I decided to one day [TS]

00:43:04   like set up a second room for myself in [TS]

00:43:07   our third bedroom we have a very small [TS]

00:43:09   house but it was three bedrooms in this [TS]

00:43:10   very small house and there was this one [TS]

00:43:12   kind of junk room that had an old single [TS]

00:43:14   bed in it but that's why would hang up [TS]

00:43:15   the pictures of Charlie's Angels that I [TS]

00:43:17   cut out of magazines and I had a [TS]

00:43:18   separate radio in there when you were [TS]

00:43:21   allowed or you felt empowered enough to [TS]

00:43:24   just publicly hang up your Charlie's [TS]

00:43:26   Angels posters [TS]

00:43:27   yeah my mom worked a lot i was a [TS]

00:43:29   latchkey kid so I could inhabit this [TS]

00:43:31   room that's why I kept my copy of Emily [TS]

00:43:33   Post's etiquette how all my almanacs I [TS]

00:43:36   used Miss Manners myself [TS]

00:43:38   yeah let Amy Vanderbilt and Emily Post [TS]

00:43:42   didn't you ever read that i would read [TS]

00:43:43   that a couple times a week you didn't [TS]

00:43:45   read the Miss Manners book that first [TS]

00:43:47   Miss Manners book had so many manners in [TS]

00:43:50   it and she was a very funny writer she's [TS]

00:43:55   she's underrated she's a very funny [TS]

00:43:56   writer and she's funny writer and she [TS]

00:43:58   she gave great advice and so my two [TS]

00:44:02   books where Miss Manners guide to was [TS]

00:44:05   this man's guide to something [TS]

00:44:07   exquisitely correct behavior that's [TS]

00:44:09   right that's right a for the first one [TS]

00:44:11   and then the preppy handbook i love that [TS]

00:44:14   Lisa Birnbaum yeah and I would pour over [TS]

00:44:17   those two books and love the preppy [TS]

00:44:19   handbook try to figure out exactly what [TS]

00:44:21   the behavior was exactly what balance i [TS]

00:44:24   was going to strike between this [TS]

00:44:26   behavior the the polite and accepted [TS]

00:44:28   behavior and the completely [TS]

00:44:31   inappropriate behavior that was going to [TS]

00:44:32   balance it out the program book was not [TS]

00:44:35   precisely like an on the nose parody but [TS]

00:44:38   i think it was fairly tongue-in-cheek [TS]

00:44:39   but I didn't really treat it that way [TS]

00:44:41   now I didn't even understand that it was [TS]

00:44:43   meant as a joke until later right when [TS]

00:44:46   somebody when i first learned that the [TS]

00:44:48   preppy handbook was was a pair was like [TS]

00:44:52   a was ironic i was a little bit taken [TS]

00:44:56   aback and I played it off right the [TS]

00:44:58   person was like all that looks hilarious [TS]

00:44:59   and I said huh [TS]

00:45:03   and they're like yeah that's like saying [TS]

00:45:04   like it's um it's mocking perhaps and I [TS]

00:45:08   was like oh haha yeah yeah of course [TS]

00:45:11   yeah right my mocking brand that I kind [TS]

00:45:14   of like walked away and I was like [TS]

00:45:15   marketing perhaps I think you're [TS]

00:45:17   describing something a lot of people too [TS]

00:45:18   so I had that room I had a one-point we [TS]

00:45:20   moved into a different place we had a [TS]

00:45:22   well move to florida we had an addict [TS]

00:45:25   with pull down stairs we had pulled on [TS]

00:45:29   stereo really oh yes so that all of our [TS]

00:45:31   christmas stuff all of our old stuff was [TS]

00:45:33   up there but like at a certain point we [TS]

00:45:35   really at that same time as a little [TS]

00:45:36   older than you but not 1981 i started [TS]

00:45:39   spending a lot of my time in the Attic [TS]

00:45:42   that's so cool down the stairs i would [TS]

00:45:44   get you pulled that you put on this door [TS]

00:45:45   you know talk about right now oh yeah [TS]

00:45:47   Cyril come out to your house and install [TS]

00:45:48   this and so it was amazing and so this [TS]

00:45:51   creaky door would come down you pull [TS]

00:45:53   down these steps and then you could go [TS]

00:45:55   up into the attic and I had made a space [TS]

00:45:57   where I covered up some of the [TS]

00:45:58   installation the beams again i move my [TS]

00:46:00   books up there have a radio up there is [TS]

00:46:02   some drinks up there probably not the [TS]

00:46:04   most hygienic thing but like the same [TS]

00:46:06   same pattern i would go up there and [TS]

00:46:07   like inhabit the life that I wanted to [TS]

00:46:09   have up there i would get a gentleman up [TS]

00:46:11   there [TS]

00:46:11   yep i have my own one-man teenage [TS]

00:46:14   gentlemen's club now you've heard [TS]

00:46:16   Hodgman described his house having you [TS]

00:46:19   uh probably his parents his parents [TS]

00:46:22   lived in a gigantic East Coast central [TS]

00:46:28   Boston like one of those it's it's like [TS]

00:46:32   it's like a brownstone but it was in [TS]

00:46:34   enormous like to remember this he had a [TS]

00:46:36   he gave him accommodations didn't they [TS]

00:46:38   and he had his own apartment he had two [TS]

00:46:40   rooms a bathroom and he was he was an [TS]

00:46:45   only child and and very autonomous and [TS]

00:46:48   he set it up even with like firms and [TS]

00:46:51   huh [TS]

00:46:52   he had a TV area with couches he had his [TS]

00:46:56   I mean it was basically his own grown-up [TS]

00:46:58   what he imagined to be his own grown-up [TS]

00:47:00   a living space with the campus house [TS]

00:47:02   would look like like like the cavity [TS]

00:47:04   yeah exactly and then the then this now [TS]

00:47:06   this house had room for borders who had [TS]

00:47:10   their own apartments so like a dream I [TS]

00:47:15   know can you imagine all right Merlin [TS]

00:47:18   i'm i'm going to make a second cup of [TS]

00:47:20   coffee here [TS]

00:47:21   oh ok out so hard with this will give me [TS]

00:47:25   a minute to talk about casper mattresses [TS]

00:47:27   oh yeah let's do this episode of [TS]

00:47:31   Roderick on the line is brought to you [TS]

00:47:33   in part by Casper to learn more right [TS]

00:47:35   now please visit Casper calm / [TS]

00:47:37   supertrain oh this is so very easy to [TS]

00:47:40   understand you heard us talking about [TS]

00:47:41   cats for just a minute ago just you see [TS]

00:47:42   right over there [TS]

00:47:43   caspere's company that offers and [TS]

00:47:45   obsessively engineered mattress and a [TS]

00:47:48   shockingly fair price and their [TS]

00:47:50   mattresses are so good you might just [TS]

00:47:51   leave it in the guest room and sleep on [TS]

00:47:52   it just like a internet celebrity John [TS]

00:47:54   Roderick cash mattress is a [TS]

00:47:56   one-of-a-kind mattress it's a new kind [TS]

00:47:58   of hybrid mattress that combines premium [TS]

00:48:00   latex foam with memory foam that just [TS]

00:48:03   the right sick and just the right [TS]

00:48:04   balance the best of two technologies [TS]

00:48:06   coming together for better nights and [TS]

00:48:08   brighter days I have been used sleeping [TS]

00:48:10   on this Casper is sort of God for over a [TS]

00:48:12   year and I love it my lady friend and I [TS]

00:48:14   sleep on it don't be creepy i love this [TS]

00:48:15   thing so much i love the quality of the [TS]

00:48:17   product i love the sleep that I get from [TS]

00:48:19   it thank you but you know what even over [TS]

00:48:21   a year after getting this thing I'm [TS]

00:48:22   still just stunned at how easy this [TS]

00:48:24   company is to deal with and that matters [TS]

00:48:26   this entire process is so painless if [TS]

00:48:29   you've ever tried to go in one of the [TS]

00:48:30   junkie stores where you go and lay on a [TS]

00:48:31   match for five seconds and decided [TS]

00:48:33   that's how you want to spend a third of [TS]

00:48:34   your life [TS]

00:48:34   stop it nonsense ponderous the Casper a [TS]

00:48:38   surprisingly small box maybe a little [TS]

00:48:40   bigger than like a small file cabinet [TS]

00:48:42   appears at your door you carry that up [TS]

00:48:44   to your room by yourself [TS]

00:48:45   and you just slide open this little bag [TS]

00:48:47   with this little mattress in it the [TS]

00:48:49   sudden becomes a very big mattress in [TS]

00:48:51   the mattress exhales exhales inhales [TS]

00:48:54   takes a breath it draws breath goes huh [TS]

00:48:56   and now within minutes you have [TS]

00:48:58   everything you need for a good night's [TS]

00:49:00   sleep [TS]

00:49:00   it's not easy it's that simple here's [TS]

00:49:02   part that's nuts Casper has an equally [TS]

00:49:04   simple risk-free trial and return policy [TS]

00:49:07   so you can try sleeping on your Casper [TS]

00:49:09   mattress for 100 nights and if for some [TS]

00:49:12   reason it's not to your liking [TS]

00:49:13   you can send it back that's free [TS]

00:49:14   delivery painless returns made in [TS]

00:49:16   America and sleep glorious sleep the [TS]

00:49:19   prices for these things are so crazy [TS]

00:49:21   five hundred dollars for a twin-size all [TS]

00:49:23   the way up to 9 50 for a king on top of [TS]

00:49:26   it all [TS]

00:49:26   Casper has a limited special offer to [TS]

00:49:28   listeners of Roderick on the line you [TS]

00:49:30   get fifty dollars toward any mattress [TS]

00:49:32   purchase a visit in casper calm / [TS]

00:49:34   supertrain and using that offer code [TS]

00:49:36   supertrain at checkout terms and [TS]

00:49:39   conditions to apply our thanks to Casper [TS]

00:49:42   for many a great night's sleep and for [TS]

00:49:44   sporting Roderick on the line [TS]

00:49:46   I'm kind of an expert on them but i want [TS]

00:49:48   to hear about that more [TS]

00:49:49   alright here we go make this thing i'm [TS]

00:49:51   going to do it you go ahead with the [TS]

00:49:53   Casper not all day after [TS]

00:49:55   oh I seek making a lot it's a long pole [TS]

00:50:01   0 to a long pull list do how are you [TS]

00:50:11   I i define em bent pine to save it for [TS]

00:50:17   the chef's you just leave all this in I [TS]

00:50:18   got the Casper here somewhere [TS]

00:50:20   well I mean yeah but this feels this you [TS]

00:50:23   know skills a little bit and there are [TS]

00:50:26   neither fish nor fowl is the show I mean [TS]

00:50:28   I was gonna I was gonna be I was gonna [TS]

00:50:30   give you a play-by-play on the phone [TS]

00:50:32   when you can you can drop while you're [TS]

00:50:33   making coffee to hear that nearly don't [TS]

00:50:39   leave it all innocent ya know that [TS]

00:50:41   sounds amazing i want one no and I want [TS]

00:50:45   to pee [TS]

00:50:46   I know that's my coffee being made in my [TS]

00:50:49   own in my own mug now who how many [TS]

00:50:51   people can say that I mean I guess [TS]

00:50:53   anybody that works in an auto supply [TS]

00:50:55   place [TS]

00:50:56   yeah i mean i guess a lot of people have [TS]

00:50:58   money [TS]

00:50:58   eggs with their own business on them but [TS]

00:51:00   not with their face on them now [TS]

00:51:02   Oh what no disgusting what flavor you [TS]

00:51:05   doing well so so with the Cure egg came [TS]

00:51:11   like a sample pack [TS]

00:51:14   uh-huh right sample pack of all the [TS]

00:51:16   different flavors that you might want [TS]

00:51:18   coffee [TS]

00:51:20   yeah that's kind of what we got was kind [TS]

00:51:22   of a strange collection get the fake [TS]

00:51:24   dunkin donuts [TS]

00:51:25   yeah you gotta like donut shop no at the [TS]

00:51:27   donut shop donut shop here's what i got [TS]

00:51:32   English breakfast tea which I don't want [TS]

00:51:34   chai latte I don't want that [TS]

00:51:36   nope hazelnut flavored something I do [TS]

00:51:38   not want that eight o'clock the original [TS]

00:51:41   medium roast coffee i'll probably use [TS]

00:51:43   that [TS]

00:51:43   yeah swissmiss hot cocoa unlikely but [TS]

00:51:46   maybe my kid will be here sometime and [TS]

00:51:50   then these various things Breakfast [TS]

00:51:51   Blend caribou blend starbucks starbucks [TS]

00:51:56   dark Sumatra's all you need [TS]

00:51:58   yeah that's a pretty good so and then so [TS]

00:52:02   what so I didn't know what to do and so [TS]

00:52:05   my mom went on the internet which is I [TS]

00:52:08   mean she is that she is the 81 year old [TS]

00:52:10   lady that loves the internet and and she [TS]

00:52:14   bought me and like 80 of these from [TS]

00:52:18   costco or no I'm sorry from office depot [TS]

00:52:21   and they're all starbucks brand so i [TS]

00:52:27   have to have coffee for days [TS]

00:52:28   yeah and maybe one day I'll want a chai [TS]

00:52:30   latte [TS]

00:52:32   yeah it's worth a try ok so now i've got [TS]

00:52:35   this cup of coffee it's it's very full [TS]

00:52:37   because I got the long pole for sitting [TS]

00:52:39   back down I've got my my to creamers [TS]

00:52:42   that don't spoil and dad you make it [TS]

00:52:44   dark you use the option to make it dark [TS]

00:52:46   i prefer dark [TS]

00:52:48   do you know the dingus to make it dark [TS]

00:52:50   what's the dingus on China remember we [TS]

00:52:52   have any stars in months because it's [TS]

00:52:54   broken but uh what [TS]

00:52:57   when you're on the screen and the [TS]

00:52:58   interfaces think sucks but remember [TS]

00:53:00   there's a section like once you drop the [TS]

00:53:02   thing is like I yo you ready to bake off [TS]

00:53:03   it now [TS]

00:53:04   oh no mine doesn't have a screen no [TS]

00:53:06   screen no mine is just a simple one that [TS]

00:53:08   just is like it just has buttons and I [TS]

00:53:11   was like three buttons [TS]

00:53:12   do you want this no man that's [TS]

00:53:13   attractive prices really never says you [TS]

00:53:16   know we have a pretty small kitchen it's [TS]

00:53:17   a big footprint like if you commit to [TS]

00:53:19   this thing you're not gonna have other [TS]

00:53:21   things around 10 this thing is just the [TS]

00:53:23   size of a normal coffee maker is that [TS]

00:53:25   right yeah it's just a little bit's just [TS]

00:53:27   bigots and splits the size of a rugby [TS]

00:53:28   ball if a rugby ball was shaped like a [TS]

00:53:32   coffee maker like a coffee maker or like [TS]

00:53:34   the matador for a port au port [TS]

00:53:39   ok all right ok it's a rugby ball sized [TS]

00:53:43   matador alright okay now this coffee [TS]

00:53:47   looks good is it all this office pro [TS]

00:53:49   might be an office pro I my eyelids this [TS]

00:53:52   is a professional office that's a much [TS]

00:53:53   smaller footprint [TS]

00:53:54   yeah and i think and i hope that it [TS]

00:53:57   breaks less easily argue it gets clogged [TS]

00:54:01   it gets clogged it doesn't work you end [TS]

00:54:03   up wasting those very expensive little [TS]

00:54:05   buckets because it didn't run right yeah [TS]

00:54:07   and so there's been lots of advice [TS]

00:54:08   people on how to clean it we've cleaned [TS]

00:54:10   it i think ours is defective and it's [TS]

00:54:12   super disappointing cause it was pretty [TS]

00:54:13   expensive [TS]

00:54:14   yeah that sucks now what you used to be [TS]

00:54:16   an advocate of the fizzy water maker [TS]

00:54:19   yeah i still i select fizzy water mario [TS]

00:54:21   maker i i i i got my problem is this is [TS]

00:54:23   how my brain works like i'll be up to [TS]

00:54:26   date and buying lots of those canisters [TS]

00:54:27   the canisters are not inexpensive know [TS]

00:54:29   i'm a big go to go through you do but it [TS]

00:54:32   is in the end way less expensive than [TS]

00:54:35   cans way less expensive and less [TS]

00:54:38   wasteful but it's a lot of effort you [TS]

00:54:40   gotta I drink a lot of sorts you do i do [TS]

00:54:44   I mean I get at least over 12 pack of [TS]

00:54:46   cells for a day [TS]

00:54:46   now you used to drink coke right or [TS]

00:54:48   something when I was a youngster I drink [TS]

00:54:50   in the days of my attic days I would [TS]

00:54:52   drink a lot of coke if you see the photo [TS]

00:54:54   i sent you guys I found and sent you a [TS]

00:54:55   photo of the Nestea that I remember from [TS]

00:54:58   childhood with that green label [TS]

00:55:01   oh that's exactly the Nestea with the [TS]

00:55:03   green stripe ecap alburnett and so yeah [TS]

00:55:06   I used to drinking like way too much [TS]

00:55:08   coke it's really weird I can't I just [TS]

00:55:10   can't even drink it today I got a [TS]

00:55:11   Mexican cook twice a year and I'm glue [TS]

00:55:13   is just this is too much [TS]

00:55:15   I don't you know the next seven st had [TS]

00:55:17   even more sugar in it i'll betcha [TS]

00:55:19   oh for sure that misty was I can't even [TS]

00:55:21   believe how much you know it was the it [TS]

00:55:25   was that [TS]

00:55:25   really eighties and they still were [TS]

00:55:26   feeding kids garbage [TS]

00:55:28   yes like like tang and and nasty in a [TS]

00:55:36   jar [TS]

00:55:37   I was just terrible terrible stuff but [TS]

00:55:39   it seemed like I had nobody thought for [TS]

00:55:42   a second about providing me a [TS]

00:55:45   twelve-year-old or 13 year old with as [TS]

00:55:49   much tea as much sugar tea as I could [TS]

00:55:52   consume oh no no no i mean there was way [TS]

00:55:55   more background sugar like today my [TS]

00:55:57   daughter loves candy she loves chocolate [TS]

00:56:00   all things chocolate and she will eat [TS]

00:56:02   all the chocolate that's not good [TS]

00:56:04   I wish that were habit we have not [TS]

00:56:05   started but i still think I'm my god i [TS]

00:56:07   still feel like it's nothing like what [TS]

00:56:08   we had as kids between things like [TS]

00:56:10   breakfast cereals things like powdered [TS]

00:56:13   drinks only put it this way until I was [TS]

00:56:16   in probably college I actively disliked [TS]

00:56:19   drinking a glass of water but I didn't [TS]

00:56:22   want me to do [TS]

00:56:23   nobody i knew drank water i was sooo [TS]

00:56:25   much water it seemed like like something [TS]

00:56:28   like something you were being cheated [TS]

00:56:30   yeah it's weird would be like you know [TS]

00:56:31   be like having a machine that dispenses [TS]

00:56:32   mana or something you like white why you [TS]

00:56:34   haven't why would you have that why [TS]

00:56:36   don't you have something real [TS]

00:56:37   why don't you drink water drink water [TS]

00:56:39   that you have it on the side and a [TS]

00:56:40   little glass at dinner maybe but like I [TS]

00:56:43   drink I water is my primary thing that I [TS]

00:56:45   drink now and yeah she never did never [TS]

00:56:47   did but the background sugar in [TS]

00:56:49   everything I mean we would we went [TS]

00:56:51   shopping and my mom was a good mom she [TS]

00:56:53   but like she would just buy stuff like [TS]

00:56:55   hostess cakes your strategies things in [TS]

00:56:59   the house you go to leave a salon do you [TS]

00:57:01   take lunch you just like have a twinkie [TS]

00:57:03   like like like that's a thing you I [TS]

00:57:05   didn't know this is gonna be this is [TS]

00:57:07   gonna sound weird to you right this is [TS]

00:57:08   this was along the lines of the fact [TS]

00:57:10   that I don't eat potatoes potatoes at [TS]

00:57:13   all you know this about me [TS]

00:57:14   do I i do not nor have I ever eaten [TS]

00:57:19   potatoes in any form this is like [TS]

00:57:21   finding out you're gay or not gay [TS]

00:57:22   this is huge you you you you you just [TS]

00:57:26   you reject them [TS]

00:57:27   I reject potato [TS]

00:57:28   now i will eat mashed potatoes on [TS]

00:57:30   Thanksgiving that are that have gravy on [TS]

00:57:33   them [TS]

00:57:34   sure and if i'm sitting at a table and [TS]

00:57:36   someone is lauding some fries which is [TS]

00:57:39   something people do right there like [TS]

00:57:41   these are great fries or these are awful [TS]

00:57:44   fries people talk about their fries they [TS]

00:57:47   do talk about their fries and if i'm [TS]

00:57:48   sitting at a table and somebody's like [TS]

00:57:50   all these fries are amazing these are [TS]

00:57:52   best fries [TS]

00:57:54   I'll reach over and try fri but [TS]

00:57:57   otherwise I have never ordered a french [TS]

00:57:59   fry [TS]

00:58:00   I've never heed I do not like potato [TS]

00:58:02   chips in any of any kind i don't like [TS]

00:58:05   hashbrowns I don't like at any kind of [TS]

00:58:08   potato you don't need home fries black [TS]

00:58:11   look I will put little russet potatoes [TS]

00:58:16   in a stew that I'm making or maybe like [TS]

00:58:18   a corned beef hash [TS]

00:58:19   no I don't need a corned beef hash I [TS]

00:58:22   will eat corned beef all day but a [TS]

00:58:24   corned beef hash I've never I've never [TS]

00:58:26   had a corn beef hash [TS]

00:58:27   oh my god this is I feel like I'm [TS]

00:58:29   tripping I don't want any kind of one of [TS]

00:58:31   those breakfasts where it's all jumbled [TS]

00:58:33   together with potatoes are servants or [TS]

00:58:35   lid i don't i don't want one that would [TS]

00:58:38   cover with white sauce i do not want [TS]

00:58:40   potatoes [TS]

00:58:41   Sam I do not want them sam-i-am moon no [TS]

00:58:44   potato and this is that I never wanted [TS]

00:58:45   them even when I was a little kid you go [TS]

00:58:48   to a kids party and they throw potato [TS]

00:58:50   chips at you through a cannon and you're [TS]

00:58:53   like no thank you i do not want them I [TS]

00:58:55   want one of those things that's not [TS]

00:58:56   candy its like noodles or rice it's one [TS]

00:58:58   of those things you can mostly depend on [TS]

00:59:00   most kids to want to eat [TS]

00:59:01   yeah right you and and the thing is in [TS]

00:59:03   the world they will they will shove [TS]

00:59:06   potatoes at you [TS]

00:59:08   I mean you may not even notice it but [TS]

00:59:11   when you're someone who doesn't eat [TS]

00:59:12   potatoes which I have to say I'm the [TS]

00:59:15   only one I've ever met but potatoes are [TS]

00:59:19   given to you as as may be your primary [TS]

00:59:21   starch option about sixty percent of the [TS]

00:59:24   time [TS]

00:59:24   oh yeah and i don't like them so do you [TS]

00:59:28   have can I don't take it for game but [TS]

00:59:30   did you Tiki trace back to with you as [TS]

00:59:32   long as you can remember you've not want [TS]

00:59:34   to pay you've rejected potatoes as long [TS]

00:59:36   as you can remember the first potato I [TS]

00:59:37   ever had i didn't i didn't like and I [TS]

00:59:39   never liked to subsequent [TS]

00:59:41   never look back and what they seemed [TS]

00:59:43   like to me was a kind of grainy Greece [TS]

00:59:46   holder right it was like it was it's [TS]

00:59:50   actually it's actually a greased [TS]

00:59:52   delivery device and salt grease and salt [TS]

00:59:54   delivery device where the underlying [TS]

00:59:57   substance it [TS]

00:59:57   substance it [TS]

01:00:00   as a sort of grainy buck that tastes [TS]

01:00:04   like ma kore tastes like dirt [TS]

01:00:06   it's a dude tastes like dirt it has the [TS]

01:00:08   consistency of dirt and it's slathered [TS]

01:00:11   with grease and salt is super [TS]

01:00:13   interesting to me and so and even if [TS]

01:00:15   you're even if they're fried to a crisp [TS]

01:00:17   you can still taste that grainy dirt and [TS]

01:00:21   then that no matter how much salt and [TS]

01:00:23   fat you put on him [TS]

01:00:24   I still taste mud so I so I mean I was [TS]

01:00:30   four years old I was like I don't want [TS]

01:00:32   potatoes don't give me those [TS]

01:00:33   and the thing is that most people if you [TS]

01:00:34   don't want potatoes they just take your [TS]

01:00:36   potatoes or I think what it is is [TS]

01:00:38   everybody recognizes the potatoes are [TS]

01:00:40   garbage food so if they put potatoes on [TS]

01:00:42   your plate you don't eat them they just [TS]

01:00:43   throw him away like nobody ever says why [TS]

01:00:46   didn't Jeter potatoes because everybody [TS]

01:00:48   realizes it's just garbage ah it's pre [TS]

01:00:51   garbage cause I I now okay i was looking [TS]

01:00:54   for a while but now you're just talking [TS]

01:00:55   crazy words it's like pre compost [TS]

01:00:57   Bruce's so here that this is all in [TS]

01:01:03   prelude to what I was about to say which [TS]

01:01:06   is that I don't like twinkies yeah I [TS]

01:01:09   like ding-dongs the the ding-dongs more [TS]

01:01:12   like guys at the cupcake 110 it's the [TS]

01:01:15   ding dong is wrapped in foil it's the [TS]

01:01:17   size and shape of a hockey puck and all [TS]

01:01:19   dying dong [TS]

01:01:20   yes it's chocolate on the outside and [TS]

01:01:23   whatever that lardy sugar fat it's real [TS]

01:01:27   it's real thing is those yes i remember [TS]

01:01:29   is but it's just barely any of its [TS]

01:01:32   constituent parts it's just barely [TS]

01:01:34   chocolate it's just barely cake and it's [TS]

01:01:36   just barely a filling thing [TS]

01:01:38   the chocolate is is largely wax it's [TS]

01:01:40   very waxing the cake is also wax and the [TS]

01:01:44   filling is just long it's just [TS]

01:01:46   √≥leo with sugar yeah and i love them i [TS]

01:01:50   love ding dong and that here's the thing [TS]

01:01:52   those hostess cakes on the East Coast [TS]

01:01:54   have different names that on the west [TS]

01:01:56   coast yet we could people say yeah exact [TS]

01:01:58   go ahead [TS]

01:01:59   well Twinkies are the same uh-huh but [TS]

01:02:01   then there they have different names for [TS]

01:02:02   all the other stuff right yeah yeah I [TS]

01:02:05   think it's one of those best food [TS]

01:02:07   ailments type situations em right we [TS]

01:02:09   give a different name on the east and [TS]

01:02:11   west coast right [TS]

01:02:12   and my experience was that the Twinkie [TS]

01:02:14   was the potato chips of of large cake so [TS]

01:02:19   if you were if you were gonna have one [TS]

01:02:22   kind of of kids sugar large cake it was [TS]

01:02:25   going to be a Twinkie [TS]

01:02:26   oh yes singers front of singers yes [TS]

01:02:29   singers you don't see this advertised [TS]

01:02:31   during a charlie brown specials and they [TS]

01:02:33   were like a little cake with a funny [TS]

01:02:37   kind of like it's a vanilla cake with a [TS]

01:02:39   creamy topping on them kind of like a [TS]

01:02:43   kind of like a frosting you got Twinkies [TS]

01:02:45   got cupcakes get donuts [TS]

01:02:47   I do remember the tiny donuts i enjoyed [TS]

01:02:49   a tiny donut now know what was the what [TS]

01:02:52   was the one that looks like a Yule Log [TS]

01:02:53   oh yeah I know what you mean is that oh [TS]

01:02:56   ho so ho yo ho it with the other hostess [TS]

01:03:01   Ho we didn't I mean I don't in my mind [TS]

01:03:04   I'm thinking oh yeah yeah-hoo-hoo you [TS]

01:03:06   use a rolled-up thing [TS]

01:03:07   yeah we didn't use to get hohos very [TS]

01:03:09   often that was more about that seems [TS]

01:03:11   like something special going home [TS]

01:03:13   this is horrible but I think it's also [TS]

01:03:15   my mom will get her hair done [TS]

01:03:17   I'd go to pony keg next door and get a [TS]

01:03:20   chocolate milk and a couple of us that [TS]

01:03:23   started it was a normal thing [TS]

01:03:24   chocolate milk and a couple holes i want [TS]

01:03:26   that now or I'm sorry a couple of of the [TS]

01:03:31   so but this was this was the problem at [TS]

01:03:33   as as I got older the amount of wax [TS]

01:03:37   oh yeah went up and the size and and [TS]

01:03:42   moistness of the ding-dong went down [TS]

01:03:44   hostess snowballs afraid of us know [TS]

01:03:46   below I would never eat us [TS]

01:03:47   no snowballs that's totally not my [TS]

01:03:48   wheelhouse snowball seems like an old [TS]

01:03:51   lady food [TS]

01:03:51   yeah so so let me just say my childhood [TS]

01:03:57   was was kind of book and did and [TS]

01:04:00   characterized by the fact that on one [TS]

01:04:02   end I would not eat potatoes and on the [TS]

01:04:04   other end I didn't like twinkies [TS]

01:04:05   problems just like what is this what i [TS]

01:04:07   want what kind of kid is this people [TS]

01:04:09   would say that to me kind of kid are you [TS]

01:04:12   right right you don't like the two great [TS]

01:04:13   kids foods it's like saying you don't [TS]

01:04:15   watch TV [TS]

01:04:16   it's one of those things that doesn't [TS]

01:04:17   even register as having it something [TS]

01:04:19   sensible to you like oh no i'd rather [TS]

01:04:20   just read quietly let you watch TV like [TS]

01:04:22   that that's weird kids would come to my [TS]

01:04:25   house and [TS]

01:04:26   and knock on the door and say mrs. [TS]

01:04:27   Roderick can John come out and play and [TS]

01:04:31   my mom would come into my room and say [TS]

01:04:32   hey a you know Todd and and Tony are [TS]

01:04:36   here and they want to they want you to [TS]

01:04:38   go out and play and i would say no [TS]

01:04:40   thanks [TS]

01:04:43   hello Wow mom would go back and say I [TS]

01:04:45   John's busy and maybe he'll come out and [TS]

01:04:48   play later and they'd be like oh ok and [TS]

01:04:51   then they go play and I would just be in [TS]

01:04:52   my room [TS]

01:04:53   eventually they stop knocking yeah right [TS]

01:04:55   i'd be in there just doing doing what I [TS]

01:04:58   was doing doing looking at the house now [TS]

01:05:00   I'm remembering as I look at these [TS]

01:05:01   horrible things I would always unroll [TS]

01:05:03   mine that was part of my ritual you know [TS]

01:05:05   for any kind of food you like to have a [TS]

01:05:06   ritual [TS]

01:05:08   well yeah but I've never heard of that [TS]

01:05:09   unroll your home unroll your ho ho and [TS]

01:05:11   their character for the whole was happy [TS]

01:05:13   ho ho who is a cylindrical Robin Hood [TS]

01:05:16   character who is quivering he's passing [TS]

01:05:18   I think that's East Coast only happy ho [TS]

01:05:21   ho you get this captain guy who is a [TS]

01:05:23   cupcake you get wind of course you [TS]

01:05:24   remember Twinkie the kid of course [TS]

01:05:26   yeah like the cowboy twinky twinky but [TS]

01:05:29   uh will you send me some pictures of [TS]

01:05:30   these hoes in their native environment [TS]

01:05:33   yeah you do a google search on hostess [TS]

01:05:35   hello OIC so you're not gonna send me [TS]

01:05:37   the most are you sure yeah I'm a search [TS]

01:05:39   for them is it didn't it when i send you [TS]

01:05:42   things in the robot you don't respond i [TS]

01:05:43   don't know if you got something here you [TS]

01:05:45   pausing because I think you're confused [TS]

01:05:46   you heard a bleep noise [TS]

01:05:48   yeah that happened look at all these [TS]

01:05:50   there's dig'em see some of these some of [TS]

01:05:53   these are either later packaging or they [TS]

01:05:55   are not that's not canonical oh now i'm [TS]

01:05:58   remembering King dawn was king don was [TS]

01:06:01   the mascot of the of the of the [TS]

01:06:03   ding-dong [TS]

01:06:04   I don't looks like you a little bit he's [TS]

01:06:07   got a crown and a scepter and a big [TS]

01:06:09   white mustache [TS]

01:06:10   maybe that's what i liked about his King [TS]

01:06:11   Don King Don mm I know although i did [TS]

01:06:17   just watch that movie the big short and [TS]

01:06:19   the fact that Brad Pitt looked like [TS]

01:06:21   Angry me all right through the whole [TS]

01:06:23   thing I was like he'll it just looks [TS]

01:06:25   like me when I'm depressed and angry I [TS]

01:06:27   thought I guess that Bruce Vilanch on [TS]

01:06:28   shark tank not long ago [TS]

01:06:29   stop saying Bruce Vilanch i would say [TS]

01:06:32   that in three years [TS]

01:06:33   damn it nothing you know what that does [TS]

01:06:35   that just sets a bunch of people off and [TS]

01:06:37   they all start sending me pictures of [TS]

01:06:38   Bruce [TS]

01:06:39   so mad so mad so i'm not against the [TS]

01:06:45   idea of the keurig right now at work i [TS]

01:06:47   do so i got this cuisinart pot that I [TS]

01:06:48   like because it's got six buttons on it [TS]

01:06:50   for different temperatures and it goes [TS]

01:06:52   from what 60 175 185 all the way up to [TS]

01:06:57   boiling so if you want to have all you [TS]

01:07:00   know the green tea [TS]

01:07:01   you're not gonna like singe it nice well [TS]

01:07:03   why doesn't it just have a AG radiated [TS]

01:07:05   knob [TS]

01:07:06   oh I don't know that that's that's like [TS]

01:07:08   from another generation a knob yeah [TS]

01:07:11   you're telling me that they've done away [TS]

01:07:13   with the knob I guess they have one that [TS]

01:07:14   bespoke buttons work pretty great and [TS]

01:07:16   it's super fast i haven't seen a knob in [TS]

01:07:18   a long time on a thing you should talk [TS]

01:07:20   to John Serkis about this because this [TS]

01:07:21   is what drives him crazy about the way [TS]

01:07:23   the toasters work let's say about toes [TS]

01:07:25   hehe wants a knob [TS]

01:07:26   he wants a great haha you know what I'm [TS]

01:07:29   not going to get into it he wants a lot [TS]

01:07:30   of things about two strands I don't want [TS]

01:07:33   a toaster oven we had a either as a [TS]

01:07:35   judge probably black & decker we had a [TS]

01:07:36   black & decker toaster knows what I'm [TS]

01:07:38   talking about being 10 we had a black & [TS]

01:07:40   decker toaster oven when I was a kid [TS]

01:07:41   that was probably the greatest i've [TS]

01:07:43   never made you could you could make [TS]

01:07:44   great toast in it you could make [TS]

01:07:46   stouffer's uh french bread pizza in it [TS]

01:07:49   for good [TS]

01:07:50   you know plans were cut let me tell you [TS]

01:07:52   another thing you may not know about me [TS]

01:07:54   ya never had a toaster oven this is just [TS]

01:07:57   too much for one day except wait a [TS]

01:08:00   minute so no no potatoes toaster oven [TS]

01:08:03   no toaster oven we didn't have one in [TS]

01:08:05   the house it was there's another thing [TS]

01:08:06   there's another thing you're very famous [TS]

01:08:08   about what was the more your mom's gonna [TS]

01:08:09   make you eat them and you wouldn't eat [TS]

01:08:10   it was you have another food that you're [TS]

01:08:13   dead set against well olives olives [TS]

01:08:17   don't need all of you will have a [TS]

01:08:18   muffaletta who think about a muffaletta [TS]

01:08:22   ok working i got it [TS]

01:08:23   yeah it's crazy right yeah yeah yeah no [TS]

01:08:27   idea but you know my mom made me sit in [TS]

01:08:29   front of some bowls of peas a couple of [TS]

01:08:31   times where I didn't eat the peas and [TS]

01:08:33   she was like that's what you're gonna [TS]

01:08:34   have for breakfast then and I called her [TS]

01:08:36   Bluff and then I had peas for breakfast [TS]

01:08:37   cold peas and then I called her Bluff on [TS]

01:08:40   that I cold piece for lunch and then in [TS]

01:08:43   a sense that i started to cry [TS]

01:08:44   oh you're looking at be boarded well [TS]

01:08:46   have been at dinner cold peas and then I [TS]

01:08:49   really was crying [TS]

01:08:51   oh sheet you she stuck with that yeah [TS]

01:08:54   she finally I would have crumbled after [TS]

01:08:55   10 minutes she stayed with it that long [TS]

01:08:57   no cold p she moved her day around to [TS]

01:08:59   make sure you got piece that's right [TS]

01:09:01   cold peas in front of me until I choked [TS]

01:09:03   those cold Pease down [TS]

01:09:05   gagging like theatrically gagging with [TS]

01:09:08   every spoon of Colby's with her just [TS]

01:09:10   sitting there you know just placid faced [TS]

01:09:13   like eat the peas [TS]

01:09:15   oh my behind using or you get no food [TS]

01:09:19   so that's it not there's no other food [TS]

01:09:20   you're going to get into these pieces [TS]

01:09:22   are done this is this is a this is a [TS]

01:09:24   dependency you need to get done [TS]

01:09:25   yeah yeah what I was finding was same [TS]

01:09:27   peas right it's not it's not she's [TS]

01:09:30   putting out new Colby's it is that these [TS]

01:09:32   pieces were once hot and they cool down [TS]

01:09:34   and they're not going to get hot again [TS]

01:09:35   you're going to see this bowl of peas [TS]

01:09:38   until they grow a skin on them [TS]

01:09:40   do you feel like what she will do you [TS]

01:09:42   have a sense of what she wanted to [TS]

01:09:44   accomplish and do you think she [TS]

01:09:45   accomplished it [TS]

01:09:46   I feel like Michaels with those things [TS]

01:09:48   is like I was just an ink passing i find [TS]

01:09:51   myself sometimes doing that I realize [TS]

01:09:52   I'm doing it more out of anger than [TS]

01:09:53   parenting know when I do things more out [TS]

01:09:55   of anger tired whatever frustration than [TS]

01:09:57   I am out of actually trying to make a [TS]

01:09:58   point that's what I'm like what the fuck [TS]

01:10:00   am i doing because mainly what she's [TS]

01:10:01   gonna remember is I was really super [TS]

01:10:03   mean an irrational about food [TS]

01:10:05   well I concern so the irrational and [TS]

01:10:08   mean about food like that was my dad [TS]

01:10:10   right he came keep your legs that's it [TS]

01:10:12   the eggs he didn't you didn't like the [TS]

01:10:13   way he made the eggs made the eggs wrong [TS]

01:10:15   and and I had and I cross my arms and [TS]

01:10:18   said no way because I like my eggs [TS]

01:10:20   sunny-side up [TS]

01:10:21   you don't say that David Roderick and he [TS]

01:10:22   made scrambled eggs and I was like no [TS]

01:10:25   way I'm am i eating those weird eggs and [TS]

01:10:27   he was like oh you're going to eat these [TS]

01:10:29   eggs and we had a battle royale that [TS]

01:10:32   involved everybody in the family and [TS]

01:10:33   everybody in the neighborhood about the [TS]

01:10:36   freaking scrambled eggs so he and i [TS]

01:10:39   would have showdowns like that over chow [TS]

01:10:42   mein we would have showdowns like that [TS]

01:10:44   over up just a lot of thing was it was [TS]

01:10:46   it was probably because like he made his [TS]

01:10:48   certain way and you didn't like the way [TS]

01:10:50   he made it or so here's the crazy thing [TS]

01:10:52   he made macaroni and cheese according to [TS]

01:10:54   the directions on the box 8 quarts of [TS]

01:10:56   water into needs eight quarts of water [TS]

01:10:59   to make macaroni and cheese and [TS]

01:11:00   therefore it's at four cores 4 quarts of [TS]

01:11:03   water that's it four quarts of water and [TS]

01:11:04   half a stick of butter so the macaroni [TS]

01:11:07   and cheese sauce would be this like just [TS]

01:11:10   butter sauces and so I remember when I [TS]

01:11:14   was living with my dad and he man oh [TS]

01:11:16   here's the other great thing I may have [TS]

01:11:18   talked about this before our cabin mom [TS]

01:11:20   will know who but he would make the [TS]

01:11:23   macaroni and cheese so I get this he [TS]

01:11:26   would make the macaroni and cheese sauce [TS]

01:11:28   for kraft dinner now [TS]

01:11:30   yeah in a separate pot he would prepare [TS]

01:11:33   the sauce and then pour the sauce on the [TS]

01:11:36   noodles when they were did that harm the [TS]

01:11:39   performance characteristics of the kraft [TS]

01:11:40   dinner [TS]

01:11:41   oh absolutely but he didn't know any [TS]

01:11:44   better because he was following the [TS]

01:11:45   instructions on the box and the first [TS]

01:11:47   thing about kraft dinner is you know [TS]

01:11:48   follow the instructions first rule of [TS]

01:11:50   kraft dinner club bought first rule is [TS]

01:11:52   you just put a little bit of butter in [TS]

01:11:54   there a little bit of milk a little bit [TS]

01:11:56   of sauce and then you get that nice like [TS]

01:11:58   sticky [TS]

01:12:00   yeah that's different i think it feels [TS]

01:12:01   fancier to make it separately [TS]

01:12:03   oh yeah that's right he was like I'm [TS]

01:12:05   gonna make your craft dinner but Don [TS]

01:12:07   it's like opening a can of chef boyardee [TS]

01:12:09   spaghetti and meatballs and like and [TS]

01:12:12   like putting a salad on the plate was [TS]

01:12:14   gonna say that's a little bit like [TS]

01:12:15   making somebody boiling bag stouffer's [TS]

01:12:17   like you know a piece stroganoff and [TS]

01:12:19   look at porn a bunch of fucking truffle [TS]

01:12:21   oil on top [TS]

01:12:22   yeah right that don't do that i don't [TS]

01:12:23   want that don't mess around and I was [TS]

01:12:25   like I actually called my mom in Seattle [TS]

01:12:27   long distance and said mom how do you [TS]

01:12:31   make macaroni and cheese because dad is [TS]

01:12:34   doing it wrong and she said oh here's [TS]

01:12:37   the secret you think his mom my mom will [TS]

01:12:39   make me kraft macaroni and cheese with [TS]

01:12:40   water right not even clip milk in it [TS]

01:12:43   yeah and with the with just a little bit [TS]

01:12:46   of butter and a little bit of salt and I [TS]

01:12:47   was like oh my God thank you know my mom [TS]

01:12:49   was doing that because she was a frugal [TS]

01:12:51   and be a like crazy or or not crazy but [TS]

01:12:57   just like your mom has read it strikes [TS]

01:12:59   me that your mom has reasons why she [TS]

01:13:00   does most things even if we don't know [TS]

01:13:02   what that is I think your mom seems to [TS]

01:13:04   me that she has a reason for almost [TS]

01:13:05   everything [TS]

01:13:05   yeah i think what she understood was [TS]

01:13:07   that the powder the powder cheese what [TS]

01:13:10   had once been cheese and all that had [TS]

01:13:12   been taken out of it was the wall [TS]

01:13:14   ok and so all you needed to do was [TS]

01:13:16   reconstituted with water [TS]

01:13:17   ok and it would have all the [TS]

01:13:19   characteristics of cheese which had what [TS]

01:13:21   she presumed it had once been she didn't [TS]

01:13:24   realize that it was orange food coloring [TS]

01:13:26   and dust and and iced tea mix it was it [TS]

01:13:33   she she understood it to be cheese and [TS]

01:13:35   all it needed was and if you put a [TS]

01:13:37   little milk in it that was sort of a [TS]

01:13:38   luxury like sure go ahead help yourself [TS]

01:13:40   so that was a big big contention between [TS]

01:13:44   me and my dad I think what my mom was [TS]

01:13:46   trying to do at a certain point was to [TS]

01:13:48   say you know what enough and as a parent [TS]

01:13:52   I don't know I don't know where that [TS]

01:13:56   line is yet it was kind about the food [TS]

01:13:59   was more about like no she just makes [TS]

01:14:01   needs to make a stand here m is that was [TS]

01:14:03   just about anything is the MacGuffin [TS]

01:14:05   that but it's really more about like no [TS]

01:14:07   you're not gonna you're not gonna do [TS]

01:14:08   that you're not going to dictate what [TS]

01:14:09   food get served [TS]

01:14:10   yeah you're not you're you we are done [TS]

01:14:12   with you just arbitrarily deciding that [TS]

01:14:16   you're gonna you're gonna throw a wrench [TS]

01:14:19   into the spokes of my road bike as I [TS]

01:14:23   pass you it trying to be friendly [TS]

01:14:27   yes trying to be friendly to your [TS]

01:14:28   Italian bike team and you put your bike [TS]

01:14:32   pump in the spokes of my wheel about the [TS]

01:14:34   cutters talking about the cutter sense [TS]

01:14:36   right [TS]

01:14:37   she said enough I'm making my stand now [TS]

01:14:41   and it is over cold Bowl apiece and [TS]

01:14:45   here's the here is the here is the bad [TS]

01:14:49   part are you ready yes this happened on [TS]

01:14:52   Easter gosh this bowl appease happened [TS]

01:14:56   on Easter and we had just graduated to a [TS]

01:15:00   thing where the easter bunny was not [TS]

01:15:02   hiding the eggs anymore because we knew [TS]

01:15:03   that there was no Easter Bunny and what [TS]

01:15:06   we were able to do is the kids could [TS]

01:15:08   hide eggs for each other and then find [TS]

01:15:12   the eggs and then the next kid got an [TS]

01:15:14   opportunity to hide the eggs for each [TS]

01:15:16   other and my mom's boyfriend had five [TS]

01:15:18   kids so that was like their eight kids [TS]

01:15:20   at this party everyone hiding eggs for [TS]

01:15:24   each other and then [TS]

01:15:25   it was hide-and-go-seek with eggs and I [TS]

01:15:28   was sitting at the dining room table in [TS]

01:15:30   front of a cold bowl of peas and so the [TS]

01:15:33   kids were actually hiding eggs around me [TS]

01:15:36   they would come into the dining room and [TS]

01:15:38   they would hide eggs around me hide eggs [TS]

01:15:40   is there this is complicated [TS]

01:15:42   they were hiding eggs for each other on [TS]

01:15:43   my it right around me [TS]

01:15:45   well I'm saying they're crying over a [TS]

01:15:46   cold Bowl appease it was it was truly [TS]

01:15:49   like a it was it is cinched in my memory [TS]

01:15:52   yeah and this is one of those things [TS]

01:15:53   that if my school my mom listen to this [TS]

01:15:55   podcast periodically and then she comes [TS]

01:15:57   to me and she says that's not how it [TS]

01:15:59   happened and I say you have a selective [TS]

01:16:03   memory about things about instances [TS]

01:16:06   where you were standing in my closet [TS]

01:16:09   stomping on my toys have them and now [TS]

01:16:11   she has gia had equal time for that just [TS]

01:16:14   didn't do it now she denies it [TS]

01:16:16   completely and she says that's not how [TS]

01:16:17   it happened [TS]

01:16:18   here's how it happened and then she [TS]

01:16:19   tells some story that it is not at all a [TS]

01:16:22   true story [TS]

01:16:24   she said some species of bananas stuff [TS]

01:16:27   about how I was a bad kid or something [TS]

01:16:29   she was great mom she never laid a [TS]

01:16:31   finger on me I struggle to try and make [TS]

01:16:34   the right point because it is is in all [TS]

01:16:36   honesty trying to make the right point [TS]

01:16:39   gets so clouded by all the different [TS]

01:16:42   layers of being inside my own head and [TS]

01:16:44   combined with trying to do the right [TS]

01:16:45   thing but like I find it very difficult [TS]

01:16:47   to know you know here's the thing it's [TS]

01:16:50   like this is like Buddhism like what if [TS]

01:16:52   everything's going well in life program [TS]

01:16:54   is this you know but some mail you don't [TS]

01:16:58   think about how things are going until [TS]

01:16:59   they're not going well so we can have [TS]

01:17:01   the most perfect in the world but then [TS]

01:17:02   like if it gets towards you know it's [TS]

01:17:03   bath time and it's time to stop doing [TS]

01:17:04   whatever the fun thing is now whether [TS]

01:17:06   thats watching TV or video games or [TS]

01:17:08   drawing or reading or whatever now it's [TS]

01:17:09   time to do the next thing this [TS]

01:17:11   transition times are you know that's [TS]

01:17:13   where things are tough and like I find [TS]

01:17:15   myself this is not interesting no one [TS]

01:17:16   cares but like I find myself really [TS]

01:17:18   struggling with like okay what's the [TS]

01:17:19   point that i want to make here is the [TS]

01:17:20   point that i want to make that you're [TS]

01:17:21   not gonna push me around [TS]

01:17:23   wow that's a really weird point to make [TS]

01:17:24   you're supposed to be the adult here is [TS]

01:17:25   the point that like sometimes we have to [TS]

01:17:27   do things we don't want to do is the [TS]

01:17:28   point here that you know there's this I [TS]

01:17:30   and I just have to be very careful that [TS]

01:17:33   I not get emotional before I understand [TS]

01:17:36   what the point is because it's it's very [TS]

01:17:38   easy [TS]

01:17:39   if you especially if you take something [TS]

01:17:40   personally and especially especially if [TS]

01:17:42   you don't realize you're taking it [TS]

01:17:44   personally [TS]

01:17:44   it gets ugly and stupid fast and I end [TS]

01:17:46   up apologizing and saying that was [TS]

01:17:48   really silly i'm not sure why i was so [TS]

01:17:50   short with you but that was wrong and [TS]

01:17:52   that's when the tears really come is now [TS]

01:17:53   apologizing oh you'd never do that [TS]

01:17:57   well the other day she stomped her foot [TS]

01:18:00   at me [TS]

01:18:01   we were out in we're out in public and i [TS]

01:18:04   said here's what we're gonna do next and [TS]

01:18:08   she said that's not what I want to do I [TS]

01:18:09   want to do this and I said well we can't [TS]

01:18:11   do that because we're we have to do this [TS]

01:18:13   we have to do this other thing we have [TS]

01:18:15   to go in this direction because of [TS]

01:18:17   reasons and she turned put her hands on [TS]

01:18:21   her hips like little fists on her hips [TS]

01:18:25   and stomped her feet at me and said no [TS]

01:18:29   daddy [TS]

01:18:30   what about you dad and I said with a big [TS]

01:18:34   smile on my face don't you stop your [TS]

01:18:35   feet of me you don't stomp your feet at [TS]

01:18:38   me i am daddy and I don't get feet [TS]

01:18:42   stomped at me and she's just at the age [TS]

01:18:45   she's rather still at the age where I [TS]

01:18:49   can say that and she puts that into her [TS]

01:18:51   function machine and she goes oh I [TS]

01:18:54   didn't realize that you don't stomp your [TS]

01:18:56   feet of daddy but yeah that I've that [TS]

01:18:58   doesn't work for that that right and [TS]

01:19:01   that's what I could see that already [TS]

01:19:02   when you use now you've made some kind [TS]

01:19:05   of little encoding trail in her brain [TS]

01:19:07   you may never be able to take back [TS]

01:19:09   well and so I am so I don't know what [TS]

01:19:11   I'm doing here right like you don't stop [TS]

01:19:12   your feet daddy and so what that what [TS]

01:19:15   that means is that i would she use that [TS]

01:19:17   when she's 30 [TS]

01:19:18   well and she's so i could see it going [TS]

01:19:20   in our head like what that means is a [TS]

01:19:22   you do stomp your feet and other people [TS]

01:19:24   and daddy is a special case and be daddy [TS]

01:19:29   thinks you don't stomp your feet at him [TS]

01:19:31   which I will accept now because the [TS]

01:19:34   because it's unclear what the results [TS]

01:19:37   will be if i do right that's still on [TS]

01:19:39   she's still unsure exactly what daddy is [TS]

01:19:42   capable of and so but there will come a [TS]

01:19:46   day when she goes oh yeah let's see [TS]

01:19:49   let's see what happens if we stop your [TS]

01:19:51   feet daddy [TS]

01:19:51   uh-huh and then I don't know what I'm [TS]

01:19:53   gonna do what do you do [TS]

01:19:55   it's already I've already laid down the [TS]

01:19:56   law you don't stomp your feet daddy and [TS]

01:19:59   I did with a big smile on my face [TS]

01:20:00   because I thought it was cute as hell [TS]

01:20:02   when she's stomping your feet of me of [TS]

01:20:03   course whether little fists on our hips [TS]

01:20:05   but now what do i do when she stops her [TS]

01:20:08   feet daddy and I say you don't stop your [TS]

01:20:10   feet daddy and she does it again [TS]

01:20:12   I don't know what I'm gonna do i totally [TS]

01:20:14   agree here's the other one like for [TS]

01:20:15   example if your kids real little I mean [TS]

01:20:17   this is like so we've never we've never [TS]

01:20:20   hit our kid we're not a hitting family [TS]

01:20:22   but like the one way that i can [TS]

01:20:25   understand like a smack on the butt for [TS]

01:20:27   example is like don't run into traffic [TS]

01:20:30   like I need to make an impression on you [TS]

01:20:33   about something that just happened so I [TS]

01:20:34   don't think you have to go hitting but [TS]

01:20:36   like there are times when a kid is when [TS]

01:20:37   you are not able to communicate the [TS]

01:20:39   complexity of why we don't run into the [TS]

01:20:41   street where you just need to make an [TS]

01:20:43   impression i do think that that probably [TS]

01:20:45   it could be wrong Street we're getting [TS]

01:20:47   you'll get email about this don't you [TS]

01:20:48   but they're getting people to tell us [TS]

01:20:50   how we're doing this wrong especially [TS]

01:20:50   they don't have kids but I but it [TS]

01:20:53   sometimes you need to make that [TS]

01:20:53   impression the trouble is first of all [TS]

01:20:55   that only works for so long and then it [TS]

01:20:58   becomes what I worry about is it becomes [TS]

01:21:01   that like something like what I don't [TS]

01:21:04   want to have that turn into is if things [TS]

01:21:06   don't go his way [TS]

01:21:08   dad gets mad mhm what like so what is [TS]

01:21:11   the point that i want to make there is [TS]

01:21:13   the point there that like that's your [TS]

01:21:14   being unkind right now or you're not [TS]

01:21:16   you're not listening to how your [TS]

01:21:17   feelings are making you you know be [TS]

01:21:18   right now like what is one of my sage [TS]

01:21:21   piece of advice at that amounts to you [TS]

01:21:23   don't stop your feet daddy I don't know [TS]

01:21:25   so where do you think she learned the [TS]

01:21:26   stomp [TS]

01:21:27   oh I you know I imagine that the stop is [TS]

01:21:31   partly in a tin her and partly she's [TS]

01:21:34   going through a phase right now where [TS]

01:21:35   she's she's real I mean she's always [TS]

01:21:38   bossed everybody but she's really [TS]

01:21:39   doubling down on like a know right she's [TS]

01:21:46   just no to everything and [TS]

01:21:49   you know my my goal at this point is [TS]

01:21:52   really not i'm not i don't believe that [TS]

01:21:55   she has the capacity to understand well [TS]

01:21:59   even her feelings and so i'm not going [TS]

01:22:02   through the process yet of uh of being [TS]

01:22:07   too complicated in explaining or Orion [TS]

01:22:11   reasoning with her so that she [TS]

01:22:14   understands you know so that she comes [TS]

01:22:16   out the other side in better touch with [TS]

01:22:18   her reality i'm i am at the stage of [TS]

01:22:21   like you don't stomp your feet daddy [TS]

01:22:22   which is just as new to you too [TS]

01:22:26   yeah it's just what it is it is just a [TS]

01:22:28   rule it's just a it's just a way of [TS]

01:22:31   saying enough right you're the you are [TS]

01:22:35   not the boss and there are a lot of ways [TS]

01:22:37   that you are trying to assert that you [TS]

01:22:40   are the boss and there are some realms [TS]

01:22:43   in which you are the boss like I give [TS]

01:22:46   you lots and lots of things where lots [TS]

01:22:48   of situations where you are absolutely [TS]

01:22:50   the boss you decide but there are things [TS]

01:22:52   that you don't decide right and you will [TS]

01:22:55   end [TS]

01:22:55   what where we're going to eat dinner is [TS]

01:22:57   not a thing that you decide will take [TS]

01:22:58   your input but in the end that's going [TS]

01:23:01   to be something that mom decides you do [TS]

01:23:03   not decide about crossing the street and [TS]

01:23:07   you don't decide what we're gonna do [TS]

01:23:09   next if daddy says we can't do this we [TS]

01:23:11   have to go to that like because reasons [TS]

01:23:14   you don't decide and your input is in [TS]

01:23:16   these matters is that you know there [TS]

01:23:19   will come in a purely advisory role [TS]

01:23:22   right and and the thing is I am I [TS]

01:23:24   feeling about it even before she was [TS]

01:23:26   born I side well I talked about this at [TS]

01:23:28   length with in my family was that every [TS]

01:23:32   birthday and in and now that we've [TS]

01:23:34   established that there are such things [TS]

01:23:35   as half birthdays and fucking quarter [TS]

01:23:39   birthdays which I don't know that didn't [TS]

01:23:41   i didn't that mean that I don't think [TS]

01:23:42   that's a thing John that didn't come [TS]

01:23:44   from me I I established the precedent of [TS]

01:23:46   half birthdays and i immediately [TS]

01:23:47   regretted it but then she learned that [TS]

01:23:51   in addition to have their half of a half [TS]

01:23:54   was a quarter and she was like it's my [TS]

01:23:56   quarter birthday and I was like my [TS]

01:23:57   quarter birthday is coming up and I was [TS]

01:23:59   like oh my god [TS]

01:24:00   I've never heard of that your quarter [TS]

01:24:02   birthday she was like yeah don't I get a [TS]

01:24:03   cupcake on my quarter birthday and I was [TS]

01:24:06   like okay I just was I you know she's [TS]

01:24:11   young quarterback days i don't know i [TS]

01:24:13   established as a precedent and now I'm [TS]

01:24:15   sure she's 16 years old she can be like [TS]

01:24:17   it's my corner birthday but i did say in [TS]

01:24:21   advance of her even being born that [TS]

01:24:24   there that she should be accorded new [TS]

01:24:27   rights and privileges as a as a birthday [TS]

01:24:30   present [TS]

01:24:31   so now you are seven and you get to pick [TS]

01:24:33   the following you get to you are now [TS]

01:24:36   empowered within the family to be this [TS]

01:24:40   have these new rights and [TS]

01:24:41   responsibilities so that she'll just so [TS]

01:24:45   that she thinks of every birthday not [TS]

01:24:47   just as a time when she gets presence [TS]

01:24:49   but as another masonic level in her path [TS]

01:24:54   to being a 33rd degree Mason but mainly [TS]

01:24:57   mainly wanting more rights and [TS]

01:25:00   responsibilities [TS]

01:25:01   well right but but but trying to impart [TS]

01:25:03   to her that [TS]

01:25:04   here are your new rights and here are [TS]

01:25:06   your new responsibilities so that the [TS]

01:25:08   two things go hand in hand [TS]

01:25:10   so now you can dress yourself without [TS]

01:25:12   arguing with your mom and you can wear [TS]

01:25:14   whatever you want but that means that [TS]

01:25:18   you put your clothes in the laundry when [TS]

01:25:21   you get undressed at night huh [TS]

01:25:23   good luck you know well but you know [TS]

01:25:24   this is the thing and if you do if you [TS]

01:25:26   do not perform the responsibility than [TS]

01:25:28   you then the right is returned [TS]

01:25:30   understand I understand I don't believe [TS]

01:25:31   me I understand [TS]

01:25:32   yeah oh I know I know and we're but [TS]

01:25:34   Wilson you know we'll see if mrs. the [TS]

01:25:36   thing about like don't stop repeated [TS]

01:25:37   daddy and it may just be that that this [TS]

01:25:41   up what I don't understand is what the [TS]

01:25:43   consequences are [TS]

01:25:44   I know I know and if if she's like oh [TS]

01:25:47   I'm gonna keep dressing myself but i am [TS]

01:25:49   not going to put my clothes in the [TS]

01:25:50   laundry then I don't know whether she [TS]

01:25:52   sits in front of a cold Bowl appease or [TS]

01:25:54   all of her clothes disappear in the [TS]

01:25:56   night and all that's left is the white [TS]

01:25:59   boiler suits from the earliest [TS]

01:26:01   incarnation of the police [TS]

01:26:02   let's go you should your gas lighter you [TS]

01:26:04   know where she just wakes and I had [TS]

01:26:06   nothing to do with that but that's just [TS]

01:26:07   life to did that to you there's just six [TS]

01:26:09   boiler suits and it's like hey baby [TS]

01:26:12   there it is you know [TS]

01:26:13   mirror in the bathroom and so I don't [TS]

01:26:20   know I mean daddy does have significant [TS]

01:26:22   power significant power to change actual [TS]

01:26:25   reality where she comes from [TS]

01:26:26   I did this once to my dad he away for [TS]

01:26:29   two days on vacation with his girlfriend [TS]

01:26:31   and while he was gone I painted the [TS]

01:26:33   walls of his house yellow [TS]