Roderick on the Line

00:00:00 ◼   ► I John hi Merlin how's it going good how [TS]

00:00:09 ◼   ► are you this is this is weird this is [TS]

00:00:16 ◼   ► where telling what we're doing so so as [TS]

00:00:19 ◼   ► some of you as the regular listeners to [TS]

00:00:21 ◼   ► this podcast know i'm driving across the [TS]

00:00:24 ◼   ► West in my gmcr be and that the the trip [TS]

00:00:28 ◼   ► has taken me to the san francisco [TS]

00:00:29 ◼   ► california where one Merlin man lives [TS]

00:00:32 ◼   ► and works and we are doing our [TS]

00:00:35 ◼   ► first-ever podcast we're in the same [TS]

00:00:37 ◼   ► room looking at each other [TS]

00:00:38 ◼   ► it wasn't a hickey live event for like a [TS]

00:00:40 ◼   ► fake company thing oh yeah we do that [TS]

00:00:42 ◼   ► we've done live singing but even then [TS]

00:00:43 ◼   ► we're not looking at each other we're [TS]

00:00:44 ◼   ► both looking at the audience come riding [TS]

00:00:46 ◼   ► the faders over here and you're in my [TS]

00:00:47 ◼   ► nuts lately yeah meeting Marlins special [TS]

00:00:49 ◼   ► not blend which you you you gave me the [TS]

00:00:52 ◼   ► whole recipe for I won't reveal it to [TS]

00:00:54 ◼   ► the audience [TS]

00:00:55 ◼   ► yeah yeah yeahs fancy pancy not yeah put [TS]

00:00:57 ◼   ► these together on my own with a variety [TS]

00:00:58 ◼   ► of different walgreens premium that [TS]

00:01:01 ◼   ► suggested you know we don't usually eat [TS]

00:01:02 ◼   ► on the program better goddamn train [TS]

00:01:04 ◼   ► since we're here in beautiful San [TS]

00:01:06 ◼   ► Francisco why not too sure that sounds [TS]

00:01:08 ◼   ► nuts already invented free love [TS]

00:01:10 ◼   ► everything is ok here in trucks right so [TS]

00:01:14 ◼   ► we're having a great time we moved out [TS]

00:01:16 ◼   ► like nuts [TS]

00:01:17 ◼   ► we're here together i'm in your office [TS]

00:01:19 ◼   ► for the first time in all the years I've [TS]

00:01:20 ◼   ► never been in this i don't have an [TS]

00:01:22 ◼   ► office job [TS]

00:01:23 ◼   ► oh yes I do yes I do but it is [TS]

00:01:25 ◼   ► undisclosed location Yeah Yeah right [TS]

00:01:28 ◼   ► I mean no one remembers your repurpose [TS]

00:01:30 ◼   ► not to some marine layer over here by [TS]

00:01:33 ◼   ► the Chrysler Building yeah well I just [TS]

00:01:36 ◼   ► heard a strange sound rumbling it's like [TS]

00:01:39 ◼   ► I somehow managed to get an office right [TS]

00:01:40 ◼   ► next to wear a fucking Street car going [TS]

00:01:42 ◼   ► by drawing now you're in the room 400 x [TS]

00:01:46 ◼   ► 0 nee so yeah they like rate i'm here in [TS]

00:01:50 ◼   ► the room I see all of the lb x-men [TS]

00:01:54 ◼   ► paraphernalia that i thought was just [TS]

00:01:56 ◼   ► part of a bit but it's gotten really [TS]

00:01:58 ◼   ► keep describing from see there's [TS]

00:02:00 ◼   ► microphones there's there's a box is all [TS]

00:02:03 ◼   ► hello it's a it's a character called arm [TS]

00:02:08 ◼   ► I like a pupil list girl and here's her [TS]

00:02:12 ◼   ► friends robot our message right and [TS]

00:02:16 ◼   ► pupils girl and robot arms are in an [TS]

00:02:18 ◼   ► adventure [TS]

00:02:19 ◼   ► that's called these legs are impossibly [TS]

00:02:21 ◼   ► long yeah and they're running and they [TS]

00:02:23 ◼   ► look like kind of like gold plated [TS]

00:02:26 ◼   ► skeleton you get you can tell they've [TS]

00:02:27 ◼   ► been through some stuff but there but [TS]

00:02:29 ◼   ► they have like wedge clogs [TS]

00:02:32 ◼   ► yeah they have like wedgie clogged [TS]

00:02:34 ◼   ► choose what you got there is a giant [TS]

00:02:35 ◼   ► Phoenix nigga Dark Phoenix Phoenix and [TS]

00:02:38 ◼   ► dark phoenix yeah and they're good 14 [TS]

00:02:41 ◼   ► inches tall [TS]

00:02:41 ◼   ► yeah they're huge and like [TS]

00:02:43 ◼   ► disproportionate like we're even worse [TS]

00:02:46 ◼   ► than Barbies these these are [TS]

00:02:47 ◼   ► physiologically they could not stand on [TS]

00:02:50 ◼   ► their own they're very powerful women [TS]

00:02:51 ◼   ► but they have that I think that the [TS]

00:02:54 ◼   ► thing that sticks out to me is that if [TS]

00:02:56 ◼   ► you were going to be super heroing I [TS]

00:02:58 ◼   ► don't think you need high heels for them [TS]

00:03:00 ◼   ► that's right wrong kind of boots right [TS]

00:03:01 ◼   ► please no not you could not climb a [TS]

00:03:03 ◼   ► fence not gonna fight some crime or [TS]

00:03:05 ◼   ► whatever so what so Phoenix is a crime [TS]

00:03:08 ◼   ► fighter [TS]

00:03:09 ◼   ► uh-huh is she a detective or something [TS]

00:03:12 ◼   ► or she's a detective detective she does [TS]

00:03:15 ◼   ► she does she like have the power of of [TS]

00:03:19 ◼   ► smell should be Miller probably the most [TS]

00:03:22 ◼   ► powerful super hero in the universe not [TS]

00:03:24 ◼   ► that it matters penises penises Dark [TS]

00:03:26 ◼   ► Phoenix yeah [TS]

00:03:26 ◼   ► Oh what like Phoenix are like this is [TS]

00:03:29 ◼   ► nice [TS]

00:03:30 ◼   ► by greenfield she's a great Phoenix had [TS]

00:03:32 ◼   ► some issues over time she she said [TS]

00:03:34 ◼   ► sometimes for me to just be Marvel girl [TS]

00:03:36 ◼   ► but then something happened and she got [TS]

00:03:39 ◼   ► stuck in a cocoon under a lake for a [TS]

00:03:40 ◼   ► whole bunch of years and Roses Phoenix [TS]

00:03:42 ◼   ► only it wasn't really her it was [TS]

00:03:44 ◼   ► actually his avatar this thing called [TS]

00:03:46 ◼   ► the Phoenix force and that you can make [TS]

00:03:48 ◼   ► 16 extension dark penis penis and she [TS]

00:03:50 ◼   ► basically a two-planet did she ever find [TS]

00:03:53 ◼   ► a Balrog trip going up high smiling out [TS]

00:04:00 ◼   ► with see and be inside the jam cr-v you [TS]

00:04:03 ◼   ► did you have your whole family there but [TS]

00:04:05 ◼   ► you-you-you like really adopted it you [TS]

00:04:09 ◼   ► you like you went for right away you're [TS]

00:04:11 ◼   ► like I could live in this I want to live [TS]

00:04:13 ◼   ► in this right now [TS]

00:04:14 ◼   ► why what is wrong with my life that I [TS]

00:04:16 ◼   ► don't have one of these I'm not living [TS]

00:04:17 ◼   ► in I wonder if it's not exclusively but [TS]

00:04:19 ◼   ► i wonder if it's partly just like the [TS]

00:04:21 ◼   ► dream of us of a boy from the nineteen [TS]

00:04:22 ◼   ► seventies it's got its it's such a [TS]

00:04:24 ◼   ► seventies dream to have [TS]

00:04:26 ◼   ► the house you really enjoy that Dark [TS]

00:04:27 ◼   ► Phoenix aren't you well maybe ambulating [TS]

00:04:29 ◼   ► her the other thing I'm finding about [TS]

00:04:30 ◼   ► this dark phoenix is that she would be [TS]

00:04:32 ◼   ► really impossible to play with like if [TS]

00:04:34 ◼   ► you want to put her in a seated position [TS]

00:04:35 ◼   ► like she's collectible you want to sit [TS]

00:04:38 ◼   ► in a chair her legs immediately spread [TS]

00:04:40 ◼   ► into jus like more gentle with her [TS]

00:04:42 ◼   ► joints you know what I mean like the [TS]

00:04:44 ◼   ► only reason a person would ever sit like [TS]

00:04:45 ◼   ► this is that they were having a [TS]

00:04:46 ◼   ► gynecological exam [TS]

00:04:48 ◼   ► this is not a natural way for a person [TS]

00:04:50 ◼   ► or doll to see how do you know that's [TS]

00:04:51 ◼   ► not a special offer from like a comic [TS]

00:04:53 ◼   ► con with a special gynecology edition of [TS]

00:04:55 ◼   ► phoenix oh no you rose from the ashes of [TS]

00:04:57 ◼   ► who to have a speculum and maybe she's a [TS]

00:04:59 ◼   ► pap smear [TS]

00:05:00 ◼   ► uh-huh super pap smear and what is that [TS]

00:05:03 ◼   ► what's the deal with her hair she [TS]

00:05:04 ◼   ► doesn't need all this hair she does [TS]

00:05:05 ◼   ► she's the most powerful super hero in [TS]

00:05:07 ◼   ► the universe you don't mean any hair [TS]

00:05:08 ◼   ► loss means you can have as much hair as [TS]

00:05:10 ◼   ► you want you know it's like I movable 47 [TS]

00:05:12 ◼   ► movable object so this is the soup that [TS]

00:05:14 ◼   ► so this is the big question if you had [TS]

00:05:16 ◼   ► all the power in the universe would you [TS]

00:05:17 ◼   ► have a all the hair in the world or [TS]

00:05:19 ◼   ► would you have be no hair was a part of [TS]

00:05:23 ◼   ► me that thinks that for a long time I [TS]

00:05:24 ◼   ► would just use all the power universe to [TS]

00:05:26 ◼   ► make people not care about what my hair [TS]

00:05:27 ◼   ► looks like me but I think eventually I [TS]

00:05:29 ◼   ► would get incredibly fucking elaborate [TS]

00:05:30 ◼   ► hair because I could so let's say this [TS]

00:05:32 ◼   ► girl dark phoenix yeah comes up against [TS]

00:05:36 ◼   ► naked blue giant man from the other [TS]

00:05:39 ◼   ► comic book the naked penis man attacked [TS]

00:05:42 ◼   ► dr. manhattan from the comic book with [TS]

00:05:44 ◼   ► the guy with the like bag over his face [TS]

00:05:47 ◼   ► with a scarecrow [TS]

00:05:48 ◼   ► um so who's more powerful I'll dark [TS]

00:05:52 ◼   ► phoenix or a penis man [TS]

00:05:54 ◼   ► uh-huh you know I'm gonna have to legal [TS]

00:05:58 ◼   ► a single find their wiki is there we [TS]

00:06:00 ◼   ► can't let me check my there I say yeah [TS]

00:06:04 ◼   ► in the universe [TS]

00:06:09 ◼   ► I feel like dark phoenix can't even [TS]

00:06:10 ◼   ► fucking sit down so I'm gonna give this [TS]

00:06:12 ◼   ► one to be this me maybe he doesn't need [TS]

00:06:15 ◼   ► to sit down John I don't know even the [TS]

00:06:17 ◼   ► most powerful creature in the universe [TS]

00:06:18 ◼   ► if she--if of the most powerful creature [TS]

00:06:20 ◼   ► still has articulated joints yeah and [TS]

00:06:22 ◼   ► isn't just a like a like a model of that [TS]

00:06:24 ◼   ► personal sitting or oh my god it's [TS]

00:06:28 ◼   ► brutal and on [TS]

00:06:30 ◼   ► yeah this is I i feel like these things [TS]

00:06:32 ◼   ► are these would only be collected by did [TS]

00:06:35 ◼   ► you want to open your mail or anything [TS]

00:06:36 ◼   ► while you're hairy people drink [TS]

00:06:38 ◼   ► different email with I didn't know [TS]

00:06:40 ◼   ► here's the great story [TS]

00:06:42 ◼   ► here's a great story so I get an email [TS]

00:06:43 ◼   ► from the woman who has the office next [TS]

00:06:46 ◼   ► to mine in my office building right and [TS]

00:06:49 ◼   ► she said hey um I don't know if you [TS]

00:06:53 ◼   ► haven't been around in a couple of days [TS]

00:06:54 ◼   ► but there is a giant stack of boxes [TS]

00:06:57 ◼   ► leaning against your office door what [TS]

00:07:00 ◼   ► and I was like how many boxes and she [TS]

00:07:02 ◼   ► was like more than a dozen boxes and [TS]

00:07:07 ◼   ► they are basically starting to block the [TS]

00:07:09 ◼   ► hallway and I said oh right [TS]

00:07:13 ◼   ► not very long ago I gave out the the [TS]

00:07:16 ◼   ► physical address of my office and told [TS]

00:07:18 ◼   ► people to send me the things that they [TS]

00:07:19 ◼   ► make and then I left town in an RV with [TS]

00:07:23 ◼   ► no clear return date food and so I [TS]

00:07:25 ◼   ► called the building manager and I said [TS]

00:07:27 ◼   ► hey um which check to see if there are a [TS]

00:07:31 ◼   ► bunch of boxes outside my office door [TS]

00:07:33 ◼   ► and he went up and he was like here I [TS]

00:07:36 ◼   ► said you have a key to my office would [TS]

00:07:37 ◼   ► you put those things in my office and he [TS]

00:07:39 ◼   ► said yes and then it happened again and [TS]

00:07:43 ◼   ► he put those in my office so when i get [TS]

00:07:45 ◼   ► back to the office [TS]

00:07:48 ◼   ► there's gonna be a lot of mail to open [TS]

00:07:49 ◼   ► and you're gonna get a talking-to i [TS]

00:07:50 ◼   ► think from the from the building manager [TS]

00:07:53 ◼   ► well you know it's not your mom John [TS]

00:07:55 ◼   ► thing is it's an art space and I'm the [TS]

00:07:57 ◼   ► one guy that doesn't routinely spray [TS]

00:07:59 ◼   ► freon into the halls ok alright you know [TS]

00:08:01 ◼   ► like your losses and minuses [TS]

00:08:03 ◼   ► yeah right and walk down the hall and [TS]

00:08:04 ◼   ► it's like Oh somebody has pushed out [TS]

00:08:07 ◼   ► into the hall like several mannequins [TS]

00:08:09 ◼   ► that have been made into a very awful [TS]

00:08:12 ◼   ► art and they're just gonna sit there for [TS]

00:08:15 ◼   ► seven months huh [TS]

00:08:17 ◼   ► he has made another woman of Port jobs [TS]

00:08:19 ◼   ► right so i have a bunch of boxes in the [TS]

00:08:22 ◼   ► hall and and its credit to my space that [TS]

00:08:25 ◼   ► nobody are presumably nobody stole any [TS]

00:08:27 ◼   ► right i mean maybe somebody walked by [TS]

00:08:29 ◼   ► was like I'm gonna take one of those he [TS]

00:08:30 ◼   ► has 12 boxes i'm going to take one but i [TS]

00:08:33 ◼   ► don't think so i don't think they did [TS]

00:08:34 ◼   ► you regret giving out the address [TS]

00:08:36 ◼   ► well I haven't haven't really opened any [TS]

00:08:38 ◼   ► of these boxes so i have no idea if I [TS]

00:08:40 ◼   ► open these boxes and I have 12 new [TS]

00:08:42 ◼   ► poorly made wallets what I'm gonna be [TS]

00:08:45 ◼   ► like that was a weird experiment but if [TS]

00:08:47 ◼   ► i open the box and there's like salt and [TS]

00:08:49 ◼   ► pepper shakers carved out [TS]

00:08:51 ◼   ► of precious Rock right and there's like [TS]

00:08:54 ◼   ► somebody made me a bunch of custom [TS]

00:08:56 ◼   ► underwear that says like look who's [TS]

00:08:59 ◼   ► talking to or whatever it is that people [TS]

00:09:03 ◼   ► are making seven-sided lighthouse made a [TS]

00:09:05 ◼   ► dream if somebody made one of those are [TS]

00:09:07 ◼   ► annual out of real dreams popsicle [TS]

00:09:09 ◼   ► popsicle stick [TS]

00:09:11 ◼   ► Lincoln Logs may be careful Tower made [TS]

00:09:13 ◼   ► out too quick yep [TS]

00:09:14 ◼   ► yeah i'm gonna be psyched because i'll [TS]

00:09:16 ◼   ► just be like my office now looks cool it [TS]

00:09:18 ◼   ► doesn't just have a bunch of like vote [TS]

00:09:20 ◼   ► Roderick paraphernalia that's sad [TS]

00:09:22 ◼   ► it's wet and sad now and i would like a [TS]

00:09:25 ◼   ► seven sideline house made of Dreams [TS]

00:09:26 ◼   ► people can come over here and feel like [TS]

00:09:28 ◼   ► this is great and if you know if there [TS]

00:09:30 ◼   ► are a couple of wallets i'll stop [TS]

00:09:32 ◼   ► admitting office 332 washington avenue [TS]

00:09:35 ◼   ► in any town USA 12345 send all the cards [TS]

00:09:39 ◼   ► and letters cards and letters nothing [TS]

00:09:42 ◼   ► dead cards and letters right we have [TS]

00:09:47 ◼   ► crazy lunch i'm still on some I'm way [TS]

00:09:49 ◼   ► off my game today for a number of [TS]

00:09:50 ◼   ► reasons I've had a lot of coffee but [TS]

00:09:51 ◼   ► also we had incredibly weird lunch do [TS]

00:09:53 ◼   ► you want on butter's should i ahh you [TS]

00:09:55 ◼   ► should talk about it so knowing that [TS]

00:09:57 ◼   ► you're not as much of a fan of secret [TS]

00:09:58 ◼   ► salt as i am right well years and years [TS]

00:10:00 ◼   ► ago when i first started coming to this [TS]

00:10:03 ◼   ► beautiful part of san francisco back [TS]

00:10:05 ◼   ► when I would stay at your house [TS]

00:10:09 ◼   ► sometimes for many many many nights [TS]

00:10:11 ◼   ► before you don't never never more than [TS]

00:10:13 ◼   ► two or three weeks [TS]

00:10:15 ◼   ► yeah right but I thought that would be [TS]

00:10:16 ◼   ► unusual for a lot of people to have a [TS]

00:10:18 ◼   ► houseguest show up and Lee and stay for [TS]

00:10:20 ◼   ► two weeks [TS]

00:10:21 ◼   ► sort of like AE but we had fun right [TS]

00:10:24 ◼   ► times man and you know you you get you [TS]

00:10:26 ◼   ► get a man like John Ryder canales you [TS]

00:10:28 ◼   ► can throw you can throw mountain now [TS]

00:10:29 ◼   ► we're going to fill them out [TS]

00:10:31 ◼   ► good luck but you get a forklift so I [TS]

00:10:34 ◼   ► even all the way back then we there was [TS]

00:10:37 ◼   ► a little dim sum place then you've [TS]

00:10:38 ◼   ► referred to in many many many of your [TS]

00:10:40 ◼   ► other programs and it's a dirty little [TS]

00:10:43 ◼   ► tiny little dim sum place where the man [TS]

00:10:46 ◼   ► counts the money and then to handle the [TS]

00:10:48 ◼   ► dick he never has more than five dollars [TS]

00:10:50 ◼   ► in money in the cash drawer if you have [TS]

00:10:53 ◼   ► to make if he has to make change for [TS]

00:10:54 ◼   ► anything he literally reaches under a [TS]

00:10:56 ◼   ► filthy counter grabs filthy money and [TS]

00:10:58 ◼   ► then this filthy hands that filthy thing [TS]

00:10:59 ◼   ► the thing that distinguishes this place [TS]

00:11:01 ◼   ► is so well-known [TS]

00:11:02 ◼   ► neighborhood I because they had a cat [TS]

00:11:06 ◼   ► Oh intelligence all in the kitchen and [TS]

00:11:09 ◼   ► they didn't mind it so it's clear down [TS]

00:11:12 ◼   ► just to be clear here it's not that they [TS]

00:11:14 ◼   ► welcomed the cats in the pigeons into [TS]

00:11:16 ◼   ► the kitchen and it's not that they were [TS]

00:11:17 ◼   ► mad about it [TS]

00:11:18 ◼   ► they merely didn't mind somewhere in [TS]

00:11:20 ◼   ► between yeah it was it was yeah it was [TS]

00:11:22 ◼   ► just it was just a situation that they [TS]

00:11:24 ◼   ► just don't sort of irrelevant to them i [TS]

00:11:26 ◼   ► remember going in there in ordering dim [TS]

00:11:28 ◼   ► sum at one point he reached into his [TS]

00:11:30 ◼   ► pocket and put it put it in the in the [TS]

00:11:34 ◼   ► container for us but we had the many [TS]

00:11:36 ◼   ► great dim sums and let this is something [TS]

00:11:38 ◼   ► maybe I've never revealed yeah but that [TS]

00:11:41 ◼   ► place was the first dim sum I overhand [TS]

00:11:43 ◼   ► you can see became i became a ritual you [TS]

00:11:46 ◼   ► would come to town no matter what would [TS]

00:11:47 ◼   ► always go there and get probably 15 [TS]

00:11:49 ◼   ► pounds of himself right a dollar amount [TS]

00:11:51 ◼   ► of them something that seemed impossible [TS]

00:11:52 ◼   ► for us to actually manage to eat through [TS]

00:11:54 ◼   ► and yet we did it every time [TS]

00:11:56 ◼   ► yeah even if you did the math you said 5 [TS]

00:11:58 ◼   ► 10 15 25 40 per person we still managed [TS]

00:12:01 ◼   ► to do it and and they emit rarely cost [TS]

00:12:04 ◼   ► more than like ten dollars no matter how [TS]

00:12:05 ◼   ► much we got right because the thirty [TS]

00:12:06 ◼   ► cents apiece yeah and so like it's the [TS]

00:12:09 ◼   ► place that with the place that I first [TS]

00:12:11 ◼   ► had dim sum I mean I know the place that [TS]

00:12:13 ◼   ► I promotion antis the place that I first [TS]

00:12:15 ◼   ► had thai food [TS]

00:12:16 ◼   ► I mean I know these places i remember [TS]

00:12:17 ◼   ► the occasion and remember that and you [TS]

00:12:19 ◼   ► introduced me to dim sum and we went [TS]

00:12:21 ◼   ► there today to have our beautiful John [TS]

00:12:23 ◼   ► and Merlin dim sum lunch and what [TS]

00:12:25 ◼   ► happened [TS]

00:12:26 ◼   ► it's got it got it somebody is in there [TS]

00:12:28 ◼   ► i was there as recently as I want to say [TS]

00:12:30 ◼   ► a week and a half ago I went in there [TS]

00:12:32 ◼   ► grabbed six books on my out the door [TS]

00:12:34 ◼   ► good to go how's your daughter she's in [TS]

00:12:36 ◼   ► school have a nice day go [TS]

00:12:37 ◼   ► Bob's your uncle bob's your uncle yeah [TS]

00:12:39 ◼   ► yeah and and we went in it was it was [TS]

00:12:41 ◼   ► they were getting it getting it they had [TS]

00:12:43 ◼   ► all the lights on it wasn't dark and [TS]

00:12:44 ◼   ► weird like it used to be over there for [TS]

00:12:46 ◼   ► the first of about four occasions this [TS]

00:12:49 ◼   ► particular afternoon I said something to [TS]

00:12:50 ◼   ► someone they stared at me like I was [TS]

00:12:51 ◼   ► from another planet you said is this [TS]

00:12:53 ◼   ► place gone for good or you just [TS]

00:12:55 ◼   ► remodeling and the guy turned he was on [TS]

00:12:56 ◼   ► a ladder he literally staring at me [TS]

00:12:58 ◼   ► turned and looked at you and said no he [TS]

00:12:59 ◼   ► didn't even make a handshake and speak [TS]

00:13:00 ◼   ► English [TS]

00:13:01 ◼   ► he just he looked at me as the like I [TS]

00:13:03 ◼   ► had an umbrella forehead yeah right and [TS]

00:13:05 ◼   ► then you finally found somebody who had [TS]

00:13:07 ◼   ► would answer you [TS]

00:13:08 ◼   ► yeah and he said yeah it's going to be a [TS]

00:13:09 ◼   ► coffee shop shop because you know if if [TS]

00:13:11 ◼   ► you have a chance for one thing that we [TS]

00:13:12 ◼   ► need more around here right it's a [TS]

00:13:14 ◼   ► coffee shop coffee shop with you some [TS]

00:13:15 ◼   ► more bubble tea [TS]

00:13:16 ◼   ► some more Irish bars and a problem or [TS]

00:13:19 ◼   ► coffee on another walgreens if they put [TS]

00:13:22 ◼   ► another walgreens on this block but then [TS]

00:13:24 ◼   ► so we went we went up the street we were [TS]

00:13:26 ◼   ► looking for a good lunch and we went [TS]

00:13:28 ◼   ► into a place that kind of smells like [TS]

00:13:29 ◼   ► propane [TS]

00:13:31 ◼   ► yeah and they didn't seem like not so [TS]

00:13:33 ◼   ► much and then we went into a place that [TS]

00:13:34 ◼   ► was a really big [TS]

00:13:38 ◼   ► by comparison to the other restaurant [TS]

00:13:39 ◼   ► mean it was it's it's palatial animal 33 [TS]

00:13:43 ◼   ► tables out of 30 in this place occupied [TS]

00:13:45 ◼   ► also almost completely empty [TS]

00:13:47 ◼   ► we sat down the first thing that [TS]

00:13:48 ◼   ► happened was a table of six white people [TS]

00:13:51 ◼   ► stood up and left without having ordered [TS]

00:13:53 ◼   ► and as they walked by each person made [TS]

00:13:55 ◼   ► sustained and uncomfortable eye contact [TS]

00:13:58 ◼   ► with us yeah with a weird like Manson [TS]

00:14:01 ◼   ► Family smile [TS]

00:14:02 ◼   ► yeah it had a real text Watson kind of [TS]

00:14:04 ◼   ► feeling today were all different ages [TS]

00:14:06 ◼   ► there was like a hippie mom yep there [TS]

00:14:08 ◼   ► was a young guy there was an old man i [TS]

00:14:11 ◼   ► think the last guy was kind of a father [TS]

00:14:12 ◼   ► figure in the family and he he had a [TS]

00:14:15 ◼   ► real real enduring look at us [TS]

00:14:18 ◼   ► yeah yeah like the sort of bhagwan look [TS]

00:14:20 ◼   ► and so we were like what do we do [TS]

00:14:23 ◼   ► Merlin looked at the menu shows some [TS]

00:14:25 ◼   ► items show some other items that there [TS]

00:14:28 ◼   ► were some you know there was a there was [TS]

00:14:30 ◼   ► a bullfrog on the dish on the menu idea [TS]

00:14:33 ◼   ► just trying to find the menu real quick [TS]

00:14:35 ◼   ► is out there are some of them there's [TS]

00:14:36 ◼   ► one was a it was venting chicken didn't [TS]

00:14:38 ◼   ► wanna write which would be good for [TS]

00:14:40 ◼   ► something there was there was garlic [TS]

00:14:42 ◼   ► strings grow extremes there was the one [TS]

00:14:44 ◼   ► that started with was like acid reflux [TS]

00:14:47 ◼   ► other than acid drops pork buns they got [TS]

00:14:50 ◼   ► the drops was the name of that acid [TS]

00:14:51 ◼   ► drops yeah anyway so so we ended up [TS]

00:14:55 ◼   ► ordering as it as the droplets beans [TS]

00:14:57 ◼   ► pork has the droplets beans pork acid [TS]

00:15:01 ◼   ► droplets drop beans pork havin ass [TS]

00:15:04 ◼   ► addresses that was beans pork [TS]

00:15:06 ◼   ► yeah great guided by voices two three [TS]

00:15:08 ◼   ► four and down so we ordered this food [TS]

00:15:11 ◼   ► the waiter kind of made some suggestions [TS]

00:15:13 ◼   ► we ordered it came it was delicious but [TS]

00:15:17 ◼   ► it was so flavored with msg & cumin and [TS]

00:15:21 ◼   ► inexplicably cumin which is not normally [TS]

00:15:23 ◼   ► attorney asked tons of cumin [TS]

00:15:26 ◼   ► the distinguishing characteristic is [TS]

00:15:27 ◼   ► everybody we encountered was staring at [TS]

00:15:30 ◼   ► us but also everyone in this restaurant [TS]

00:15:32 ◼   ► the diners and the wait staff alike not [TS]

00:15:35 ◼   ► only in this case the wait staff seemed [TS]

00:15:37 ◼   ► not only as though they had not been [TS]

00:15:39 ◼   ► waiters for more than an hour so it [TS]

00:15:41 ◼   ► seems like maybe they just never been to [TS]

00:15:43 ◼   ► a restaurant they didn't know how to [TS]

00:15:44 ◼   ► restaurant [TS]

00:15:45 ◼   ► well I the right the waiters didn't they [TS]

00:15:47 ◼   ► also walked by and sustained eye contact [TS]

00:15:50 ◼   ► with us with no not attempting to fill [TS]

00:15:52 ◼   ► our water glasses or asks any questions [TS]

00:15:54 ◼   ► just pacing the restaurant what about [TS]

00:15:56 ◼   ► Cheryl Tiegs act like staring [TS]

00:15:58 ◼   ► yeah and then I thinking back to the the [TS]

00:16:00 ◼   ► original customers that left as soon as [TS]

00:16:02 ◼   ► we walked in they seemed like people who [TS]

00:16:05 ◼   ► were approximating what they thought [TS]

00:16:07 ◼   ► being a human being was yeah if you have [TS]

00:16:11 ◼   ► a really above average an alien doing a [TS]

00:16:14 ◼   ► really above average impersonation of [TS]

00:16:15 ◼   ► human yeah if you put on human suit yeah [TS]

00:16:17 ◼   ► not for the first time but this was the [TS]

00:16:19 ◼   ► first time they like you you tried out [TS]

00:16:21 ◼   ► the human suit a few times you'd wanted [TS]

00:16:23 ◼   ► on the train [TS]

00:16:24 ◼   ► yeah you did to put on human suit like [TS]

00:16:26 ◼   ► you're not ready to join a summary get [TS]

00:16:28 ◼   ► you could pass among the other grades [TS]

00:16:29 ◼   ► right right just walking around not [TS]

00:16:31 ◼   ► trying to interact with me because that [TS]

00:16:33 ◼   ► Phil not like I still human totally [TS]

00:16:35 ◼   ► human being he doesn't is not he's not [TS]

00:16:37 ◼   ► he's not so comfortable in the human [TS]

00:16:39 ◼   ► suit that he's going to get a job in an [TS]

00:16:40 ◼   ► office but this was like all right you [TS]

00:16:42 ◼   ► know what let's take five of us out to a [TS]

00:16:44 ◼   ► restaurant and see how it plays in the [TS]

00:16:47 ◼   ► afternoon will be a great place to test [TS]

00:16:48 ◼   ► that out and then you and I walk in and [TS]

00:16:50 ◼   ► they're like I don't think we're ready [TS]

00:16:52 ◼   ► to like be in a restaurant with these [TS]

00:16:53 ◼   ► two guys right you know they're like oh [TS]

00:16:56 ◼   ► my god i don't have no idea how deep [TS]

00:16:57 ◼   ► this goes right if they were they were [TS]

00:16:59 ◼   ► in there they were trying it out the [TS]

00:17:00 ◼   ► waiters are also praised and so they [TS]

00:17:04 ◼   ► were just like let's see how this played [TS]

00:17:05 ◼   ► the whole restaurant is just like it's a [TS]

00:17:07 ◼   ► front let's test this XP on the front [TS]

00:17:09 ◼   ► it's it's more like a like one of those [TS]

00:17:11 ◼   ► little towns you go to when you're going [TS]

00:17:13 ◼   ► act like you're attacking the Russians [TS]

00:17:14 ◼   ► you go somewhere or little safety town [TS]

00:17:16 ◼   ► where you bring your bike it's an entire [TS]

00:17:18 ◼   ► simulacrum town right safety town safety [TS]

00:17:20 ◼   ► where you come in and you interact with [TS]

00:17:22 ◼   ► other people so you know you all know [TS]

00:17:24 ◼   ► it's a drill you all know it's an [TS]

00:17:25 ◼   ► exercise right you can dance if you want [TS]

00:17:26 ◼   ► to [TS]

00:17:27 ◼   ► yeah so you can leave stuff behind but [TS]

00:17:28 ◼   ► you want to be able to fit in you want [TS]

00:17:29 ◼   ► to pass you don't get clocked exactly [TS]

00:17:31 ◼   ► and so we walk in and it's they were not [TS]

00:17:33 ◼   ► expecting us they knew we were headed to [TS]

00:17:35 ◼   ► do [TS]

00:17:35 ◼   ► some but somehow the whole thing like [TS]

00:17:37 ◼   ► they didn't coordinate the gutting of [TS]

00:17:39 ◼   ► the dim sum place with you and me being [TS]

00:17:41 ◼   ► on the street my god they should have [TS]

00:17:42 ◼   ► seen this coming and we walk in there [TS]

00:17:44 ◼   ► like holy shit this is not part of the [TS]

00:17:47 ◼   ► plan [TS]

00:17:48 ◼   ► what we're going to do is sit in here [TS]

00:17:49 ◼   ► and people are gonna walk by and look in [TS]

00:17:51 ◼   ► at us feel uncomfortable about this [TS]

00:17:53 ◼   ► restaurant and not come in and that was [TS]

00:17:55 ◼   ► going to be what we did today like [TS]

00:17:57 ◼   ► somebody had left off the sheet the fact [TS]

00:18:00 ◼   ► that if this was an actual restaurant [TS]

00:18:02 ◼   ► there might be people who come in and [TS]

00:18:03 ◼   ► want to eat their right they should more [TS]

00:18:05 ◼   ► than simply prepare yourselves for this [TS]

00:18:06 ◼   ► and the last time diners the last thing [TS]

00:18:08 ◼   ► they thought was it would be you and me [TS]

00:18:10 ◼   ► alright if it was just a couple of [TS]

00:18:11 ◼   ► Snorks just like some normals who came [TS]

00:18:14 ◼   ► in and were like oh you need some food [TS]

00:18:16 ◼   ► and look at our phones isn't I did not [TS]

00:18:19 ◼   ► there is not a single thing I said to [TS]

00:18:22 ◼   ► anyone in that place that they would not [TS]

00:18:24 ◼   ► have heard 40 times a day if they were [TS]

00:18:26 ◼   ► waiters but they looked like they had [TS]

00:18:28 ◼   ► never heard it like like like for [TS]

00:18:29 ◼   ► example they never actually heard what I [TS]

00:18:31 ◼   ► would describe as human voice well and [TS]

00:18:33 ◼   ► you said do you have t.i said first ever [TS]

00:18:35 ◼   ► said i will I said we'd like some tea [TS]

00:18:37 ◼   ► jasmine tea and the i think its response [TS]

00:18:39 ◼   ► was t Yeah right right [TS]

00:18:42 ◼   ► like a like a young Chinese guy had [TS]

00:18:44 ◼   ► never heard of tea and so so get this [TS]

00:18:47 ◼   ► guy over here [TS]

00:18:48 ◼   ► yeah so then we ordered this food and it [TS]

00:18:50 ◼   ► adds it had all the wrong flavors for [TS]

00:18:52 ◼   ► Chinese food like like they were back [TS]

00:18:54 ◼   ► there like like the waiter comes back [TS]

00:18:56 ◼   ► and he's like holy shit they want food [TS]

00:18:57 ◼   ► they would feel like [TS]

00:18:58 ◼   ► only I don't get it twisted what is a [TS]

00:19:01 ◼   ► good book [TS]

00:19:03 ◼   ► telephone telephone room and so he opens [TS]

00:19:08 ◼   ► the book is like cumin capers fish and [TS]

00:19:11 ◼   ► like a milk you threw it all in a pot [TS]

00:19:15 ◼   ► and then it came out and I feel now like [TS]

00:19:18 ◼   ► I have like I've been sucking on 2d [TS]

00:19:20 ◼   ► batteries all afternoon [TS]

00:19:22 ◼   ► there's some there's so much msg in my [TS]

00:19:24 ◼   ► body that my tongue is just like swollen [TS]

00:19:27 ◼   ► and let and and full of like I don't [TS]

00:19:31 ◼   ► know like corpuscles I don't even want [TS]

00:19:33 ◼   ► yeah I to tell you what is it you mean [TS]

00:19:35 ◼   ► like you got an extra retina I I started [TS]

00:19:37 ◼   ► really experiencing meals from my [TS]

00:19:38 ◼   ► childhood i started i started tasting [TS]

00:19:39 ◼   ► things that I had tasted in years [TS]

00:19:41 ◼   ► it suddenly reawakens kind of nine volt [TS]

00:19:44 ◼   ► energy on my tongue you're like otter [TS]

00:19:45 ◼   ► pops [TS]

00:19:46 ◼   ► the 10 human counterparts and humid with [TS]

00:19:50 ◼   ► Cuban food like that never heard of it [TS]

00:19:52 ◼   ► well so anyway I do feel like that that [TS]

00:19:55 ◼   ► uh that warrants some more investigation [TS]

00:19:58 ◼   ► i kinda wanna go back but you know from [TS]

00:20:00 ◼   ► experience [TS]

00:20:01 ◼   ► yeah you know place especially like a [TS]

00:20:03 ◼   ► lot of Asian restaurants but especially [TS]

00:20:04 ◼   ► a Chinese restaurant [TS]

00:20:05 ◼   ► it pays to go in and get a group of [TS]

00:20:07 ◼   ► people trapped bunch of different things [TS]

00:20:08 ◼   ► at least one thing will be good at this [TS]

00:20:11 ◼   ► is not a Chinese thing but like it's the [TS]

00:20:12 ◼   ► kind of food is usually very conducive [TS]

00:20:14 ◼   ► to sharing family-style order in their [TS]

00:20:16 ◼   ► obvious right or six things for for the [TS]

00:20:18 ◼   ► two of us right and ago and the guy [TS]

00:20:20 ◼   ► finally the guy he gets real you know [TS]

00:20:22 ◼   ► greater get to his credit says ah I [TS]

00:20:25 ◼   ► think that's enough [TS]

00:20:26 ◼   ► yeah we ordered three things like that's [TS]

00:20:28 ◼   ► that's that's plenty and he was right to [TS]

00:20:30 ◼   ► fish arrived in what I can only describe [TS]

00:20:31 ◼   ► is I want to say a terrine it was [TS]

00:20:33 ◼   ► actually more of a punch bowl [TS]

00:20:34 ◼   ► it was screaming punchbowl was the type [TS]

00:20:36 ◼   ► of thing that if you went into a fancy [TS]

00:20:37 ◼   ► house it would be sitting on the table [TS]

00:20:39 ◼   ► in the entryway filled with dried [TS]

00:20:42 ◼   ► flowers or yeah right now or or 7,000 [TS]

00:20:47 ◼   ► starlight mints or colored marble [TS]

00:20:49 ◼   ► imagine like you have a pretty good [TS]

00:20:50 ◼   ► sized hands and it was you're given a [TS]

00:20:52 ◼   ► job on a game show and was your job on [TS]

00:20:54 ◼   ► that game show to as quickly as possible [TS]

00:20:57 ◼   ► stick your hands into this into this [TS]

00:20:59 ◼   ► confuses food and take out everything [TS]

00:21:01 ◼   ► that was a large flavor fish a man with [TS]

00:21:04 ◼   ► large hands it would take two minutes [TS]

00:21:05 ◼   ► for the media that this was astonishing [TS]

00:21:07 ◼   ► to me it was like four fish you get a [TS]

00:21:09 ◼   ► big bowl of this and the first time I [TS]

00:21:10 ◼   ► dug into it was like oh there's some [TS]

00:21:12 ◼   ► kind of bean sprouts in the bottom but [TS]

00:21:13 ◼   ► but they're not real bean sprouts [TS]

00:21:15 ◼   ► there's some other kind of sprout and I [TS]

00:21:17 ◼   ► was like oh this is a thing where [TS]

00:21:18 ◼   ► there's like four pieces of fish on top [TS]

00:21:20 ◼   ► of a giant answer that's how they get [TS]

00:21:22 ◼   ► you right under layer of sprouts yeah [TS]

00:21:24 ◼   ► but then we kept digging into this thing [TS]

00:21:26 ◼   ► and there were there were like the flesh [TS]

00:21:29 ◼   ► of 15 fish and 15 good-sized fish were [TS]

00:21:33 ◼   ► in this terrain you can you can put away [TS]

00:21:35 ◼   ► some groceries and I i think they did [TS]

00:21:37 ◼   ► you finish all of it so at the end I [TS]

00:21:40 ◼   ► blacked out toward the antenna and I was [TS]

00:21:41 ◼   ► like I'm not gonna leave I leave some [TS]

00:21:44 ◼   ► sprouts in this bowl but I'm gonna leave [TS]

00:21:46 ◼   ► any fish right you take that challenge [TS]

00:21:47 ◼   ► and then I what I i went for it and my [TS]

00:21:50 ◼   ► plate was piled high with with the human [TS]

00:21:52 ◼   ► fish for the sixth time [TS]

00:21:54 ◼   ► and I just was like I I don't think [TS]

00:21:56 ◼   ► there's a bottom to no mas [TS]

00:21:58 ◼   ► I cannot guess I can't get all the fish [TS]

00:21:59 ◼   ► out and then that was trying to find of [TS]

00:22:01 ◼   ► wine down we got some stuff to do we get [TS]

00:22:02 ◼   ► to ride in the RV we need to get going [TS]

00:22:04 ◼   ► yeah and so stuff to do i if i remember [TS]

00:22:07 ◼   ► correctly I i think i did two things [TS]

00:22:09 ◼   ► that are usually fairly well understood [TS]

00:22:11 ◼   ► when it's the end of the meal so one of [TS]

00:22:13 ◼   ► the things I did was I held my hand up [TS]

00:22:15 ◼   ► in the air like I had a make-believe pen [TS]

00:22:17 ◼   ► and I i made a signature what am i doing [TS]

00:22:19 ◼   ► John kind of square doing oscillating [TS]

00:22:21 ◼   ► signing was a sign sign the check now I [TS]

00:22:24 ◼   ► would like to check but just to put a [TS]

00:22:26 ◼   ► belt on those suspenders I also turned [TS]

00:22:27 ◼   ► to the man and I said can we have the [TS]

00:22:28 ◼   ► check please that's right and what [TS]

00:22:31 ◼   ► response you get [TS]

00:22:32 ◼   ► I got a blank I you know I got me a [TS]

00:22:34 ◼   ► mambo dogface to the banana patch but I [TS]

00:22:36 ◼   ► got I got I got a dead-eyed shark look [TS]

00:22:39 ◼   ► like I just said things that weren't [TS]

00:22:41 ◼   ► even looking like he'd been talking to [TS]

00:22:42 ◼   ► to look a like a book about lean like a [TS]

00:22:44 ◼   ► whale right yeah we're like it like you [TS]

00:22:47 ◼   ► were Beetlejuice and all of a sudden [TS]

00:22:49 ◼   ► your hat turned into a merry-go-round [TS]

00:22:50 ◼   ► and you're like doing meanwhile oh um I [TS]

00:22:55 ◼   ► can't I can't explain it except that I [TS]

00:22:58 ◼   ► mean this neighborhood is gentrifying [TS]

00:22:59 ◼   ► fast yes faster than I expected and but [TS]

00:23:04 ◼   ► this doesnt sit this is no justification [TS]

00:23:05 ◼   ► i ever saw [TS]

00:23:06 ◼   ► I almost back to that is I you know if I [TS]

00:23:09 ◼   ► allow myself to adopt that thought [TS]

00:23:11 ◼   ► technology a whole lot of shit in this [TS]

00:23:13 ◼   ► neighborhood [TS]

00:23:14 ◼   ► something's making a lot more sense yeah [TS]

00:23:15 ◼   ► i just got about one of our sponsors [TS]

00:23:17 ◼   ► this week [TS]

00:23:18 ◼   ► hush whoa we're going to do like all [TS]

00:23:21 ◼   ► right we're sitting in the room together [TS]

00:23:22 ◼   ► yeah you're going to live live live read [TS]

00:23:25 ◼   ► of the sponsor and isn't it and you are [TS]

00:23:27 ◼   ► encouraged to to join into it to flush [TS]

00:23:29 ◼   ► it out before you do I'd like everyone [TS]

00:23:31 ◼   ► to hear that i'm i'm drinking one of [TS]

00:23:33 ◼   ► Merlin man's who famous Saltzer waters [TS]

00:23:36 ◼   ► in a can the Refresh e seltzer water [TS]

00:23:39 ◼   ► like to thank our sponsor for this [TS]

00:23:41 ◼   ► episode safeway seltzer water [TS]

00:23:43 ◼   ► hi enjoying it I haven't tasted it yet i [TS]

00:23:45 ◼   ► just opened and everybody in 50 mm um [TS]

00:23:51 ◼   ► it's good it tastes it tastes good it [TS]

00:23:54 ◼   ► does not taste like was filtered through [TS]

00:23:56 ◼   ► a dead raccoon or no taste the cumin [TS]

00:23:58 ◼   ► uh-huh no taste of giving it its rinsing [TS]

00:24:00 ◼   ► it out but it goes great with Merlin [TS]

00:24:02 ◼   ► special blend of nuts i got your I got [TS]

00:24:03 ◼   ► your chaser right here look [TS]

00:24:05 ◼   ► some hydrogen that one quart of hydrogen [TS]

00:24:07 ◼   ► peroxide another one haven't opened yet [TS]

00:24:08 ◼   ► it's a cure-all [TS]

00:24:09 ◼   ► yes for me I just keep right here just [TS]

00:24:11 ◼   ► me and swish swish and then into the [TS]

00:24:13 ◼   ► spit bucket with him up there goes haha [TS]

00:24:16 ◼   ► it's literally as bitbucket it's a five [TS]

00:24:20 ◼   ► gallon can of like spackle once you [TS]

00:24:23 ◼   ► start with the hydrogen peroxide you'll [TS]

00:24:24 ◼   ► never look back that's right you feel [TS]

00:24:26 ◼   ► dirty you feel dirty in the mouth if you [TS]

00:24:28 ◼   ► don't have a little bit of hydrogen [TS]

00:24:28 ◼   ► peroxide use it for every user for [TS]

00:24:30 ◼   ► everybody would all be about 90 for [TS]

00:24:32 ◼   ► everything is it is contact lens [TS]

00:24:33 ◼   ► solution it's not know that right mrs. [TS]

00:24:35 ◼   ► safety [TS]

00:24:36 ◼   ► ladies and gentlemen are today i would [TS]

00:24:38 ◼   ► say about our once part of our show [TS]

00:24:39 ◼   ► which is Casper tony lacasse me so now i [TS]

00:24:43 ◼   ► have not one but two casper mattresses [TS]

00:24:45 ◼   ► in my house and they are mom ok put a [TS]

00:24:49 ◼   ► pin in that because Casper is an online [TS]

00:24:51 ◼   ► retailer premium mattresses out like [TS]

00:24:52 ◼   ► John i know i only have one casper [TS]

00:24:54 ◼   ► mattresses I don't know how you got away [TS]

00:24:55 ◼   ► with two but they're online retailer [TS]

00:24:57 ◼   ► premium mattresses and you get delivered [TS]

00:24:58 ◼   ► to your door for a fraction of the price [TS]

00:25:00 ◼   ► that you pay in stores and I I'm telling [TS]

00:25:02 ◼   ► you you do not want have you actually [TS]

00:25:04 ◼   ► tried to go and buy a mattress in a [TS]

00:25:05 ◼   ► store i have a you know I used to go [TS]

00:25:08 ◼   ► routinely to department stores and just [TS]

00:25:09 ◼   ► lay on the mattresses because it just [TS]

00:25:11 ◼   ► was a thing to do in the afternoon so [TS]

00:25:12 ◼   ► this is just during that period where [TS]

00:25:14 ◼   ► you would place to lay down the thing is [TS]

00:25:15 ◼   ► they won't kick you off the mattress [TS]

00:25:16 ◼   ► because they think you might be testing [TS]

00:25:18 ◼   ► it you can lay there for 12 minutes [TS]

00:25:21 ◼   ► before someone comes along and as long [TS]

00:25:23 ◼   ► as you leave a spot or something I and [TS]

00:25:25 ◼   ► then they're like hey can I help you [TS]

00:25:27 ◼   ► with something you're like just testing [TS]

00:25:28 ◼   ► the matter what do you think you're [TS]

00:25:30 ◼   ► better than me but then those mattresses [TS]

00:25:31 ◼   ► are like 35 hundred dollar super [TS]

00:25:33 ◼   ► expensive and they're super gross [TS]

00:25:34 ◼   ► because the thing is you think you're [TS]

00:25:36 ◼   ► the first but you think you think you're [TS]

00:25:37 ◼   ► the first person to go lay on the [TS]

00:25:38 ◼   ► disgusting mattress in the store [TS]

00:25:40 ◼   ► sorry Johnny you are the latest one is [TS]

00:25:42 ◼   ► what that is right cancers mattress is a [TS]

00:25:44 ◼   ► one of a kind of mattress it's a new [TS]

00:25:46 ◼   ► hybrid mattress that combines premium [TS]

00:25:47 ◼   ► latex phone with latex say what I didn't [TS]

00:25:50 ◼   ► even know that it's a new kind of hybrid [TS]

00:25:52 ◼   ► mattress Jonna combines premium latex [TS]

00:25:54 ◼   ► phone from with memory foam it's a [TS]

00:25:55 ◼   ► hybrid it's a new kind of hybrid matters [TS]

00:25:58 ◼   ► that combines premium latex phone with [TS]

00:26:00 ◼   ► memory foam and she doesn't have a it [TS]

00:26:01 ◼   ► doesn't have a battery pack I didn't [TS]

00:26:03 ◼   ► look inside [TS]

00:26:03 ◼   ► no it's a new kind of hybrid mattress [TS]

00:26:05 ◼   ► that combines premium latex phone with [TS]

00:26:07 ◼   ► memory foam latex foam and memory and [TS]

00:26:09 ◼   ► memory foam that means it's got just the [TS]

00:26:11 ◼   ► right sink and just the right balance [TS]

00:26:14 ◼   ► it does a lot of time to get the best [TS]

00:26:15 ◼   ► but not the sink or the worst is the [TS]

00:26:17 ◼   ► same without the bound can just [TS]

00:26:18 ◼   ► literally begging to get me started on [TS]

00:26:20 ◼   ► that thing is like this is starting to [TS]

00:26:22 ◼   ► sound a little bit like a real doll in [TS]

00:26:24 ◼   ► the shape of a matter best the two [TS]

00:26:26 ◼   ► technologies come together for better [TS]

00:26:27 ◼   ► nights and brighter days i have now had [TS]

00:26:29 ◼   ► mine I checked it's been over every 14 [TS]

00:26:31 ◼   ► months now Wow 14 months so what you ask [TS]

00:26:34 ◼   ► you a question job so I piled onto that [TS]

00:26:37 ◼   ► mattress III so it it shows up shows up [TS]

00:26:40 ◼   ► in a box it's literally about it's a box [TS]

00:26:42 ◼   ► on the on the front porch [TS]

00:26:43 ◼   ► it's a little bigger than a two drawer [TS]

00:26:45 ◼   ► file cabinet yeah right the boxes I I [TS]

00:26:47 ◼   ► showed up I was like no there's no way [TS]

00:26:49 ◼   ► that there's a king-size mattress in [TS]

00:26:50 ◼   ► that box is one thought that everyone [TS]

00:26:52 ◼   ► has no way is that a bad no way [TS]

00:26:54 ◼   ► and what is that a bit and I and they [TS]

00:26:55 ◼   ► said over the mattresses on its way and [TS]

00:26:57 ◼   ► then two days later there is on the [TS]

00:26:58 ◼   ► front porch I'm like you think shame on [TS]

00:27:00 ◼   ► me [TS]

00:27:01 ◼   ► shame on me for falling for these [TS]

00:27:02 ◼   ► hucksters and Casper yeah and so I slept [TS]

00:27:04 ◼   ► the thing inside and I let it sit there [TS]

00:27:05 ◼   ► in the entryway for a couple of days i'm [TS]

00:27:07 ◼   ► not sure what to do and she do a couple [TS]

00:27:08 ◼   ► of days to a couple of weeks and people [TS]

00:27:10 ◼   ► are like what's the big box and I'm like [TS]

00:27:12 ◼   ► a king size mattress they're like no way [TS]

00:27:13 ◼   ► so i finally that John are the other [TS]

00:27:17 ◼   ► things in this is really interesting [TS]

00:27:18 ◼   ► size mattresses which is this tiny box [TS]

00:27:20 ◼   ► so i unpack it and the mattress goes the [TS]

00:27:23 ◼   ► warning [TS]

00:27:24 ◼   ► it's like a it's like one of those [TS]

00:27:26 ◼   ► mushrooms in the forest that comes up [TS]

00:27:27 ◼   ► out of the ground and all of a sudden [TS]

00:27:28 ◼   ► it's like this enormous mushroom [TS]

00:27:30 ◼   ► mushroom like a giant mushroom like a [TS]

00:27:32 ◼   ► magic mushroom time punishment I flip it [TS]

00:27:33 ◼   ► out and I'm like I've stayed on [TS]

00:27:35 ◼   ► listen I've been a touring musician for [TS]

00:27:37 ◼   ► 15 years I've slept on a lot of [TS]

00:27:39 ◼   ► mattresses john robert forecaster [TS]

00:27:41 ◼   ► mattresses around the around the country [TS]

00:27:43 ◼   ► and around the world and I looked at [TS]

00:27:44 ◼   ► this thing and I was like all right well [TS]

00:27:46 ◼   ► you know when is the ones this match [TS]

00:27:49 ◼   ► gonna rise up and buy my by biting me on [TS]

00:27:51 ◼   ► the way and I get on this thing then [TS]

00:27:53 ◼   ► like it's not there it's not it's not [TS]

00:27:57 ◼   ► it's not a heavy it's not think it's not [TS]

00:27:58 ◼   ► there's no baloney [TS]

00:28:00 ◼   ► I'm just like oh I'm on this mattress [TS]

00:28:02 ◼   ► and then I'm just like having some [TS]

00:28:04 ◼   ► mattress time yes and then here's the [TS]

00:28:07 ◼   ► here's the here's the crazy thing [TS]

00:28:08 ◼   ► yeah i was putting this mattress in the [TS]

00:28:10 ◼   ► guest room yeah but then I started [TS]

00:28:14 ◼   ► sleeping in the guest room turns out and [TS]

00:28:17 ◼   ► since the caps casper mattresses arrived [TS]

00:28:19 ◼   ► in the guest room [TS]

00:28:20 ◼   ► I have not slept in my actual bed oh my [TS]

00:28:23 ◼   ► goodness and sleeping on the Casper in [TS]

00:28:24 ◼   ► the guest room I wake up every morning [TS]

00:28:26 ◼   ► like where am I [TS]

00:28:27 ◼   ► I I sleep in mind every day I think I [TS]

00:28:29 ◼   ► know why it's so comfortable because [TS]

00:28:30 ◼   ► it's a new kind of hybrid model combines [TS]

00:28:33 ◼   ► premium latex foam with memory foam [TS]

00:28:36 ◼   ► well I support it to the top of the box [TS]

00:28:38 ◼   ► shows up you open this thing in it [TS]

00:28:40 ◼   ► inhales any of this beautiful beautiful [TS]

00:28:43 ◼   ► mattress it's you know the thing is it's [TS]

00:28:45 ◼   ► not it's not too hard not too soft it's [TS]

00:28:47 ◼   ► not a kind of hybrid match i collect i [TS]

00:28:49 ◼   ► like i like a firm mattress [TS]

00:28:51 ◼   ► I don't like a I don't like a bus [TS]

00:28:52 ◼   ► segment is the thing i think from [TS]

00:28:54 ◼   ► watching cartoons and seeing thirties [TS]

00:28:55 ◼   ► movies we think you know a hobo time you [TS]

00:28:57 ◼   ► think you want a soft bed is off below [TS]

00:28:59 ◼   ► that the last thing in the world that [TS]

00:29:01 ◼   ► you don't want to talk about [TS]

00:29:01 ◼   ► particularly particularly when you are a [TS]

00:29:03 ◼   ► big man you want to you want a firm [TS]

00:29:05 ◼   ► mattress on a big mattress big boy bed [TS]

00:29:07 ◼   ► and you know i'm i'm often uh five [TS]

00:29:11 ◼   ► guests right right i mean you want a [TS]

00:29:13 ◼   ► mattress that shoot people out of bed [TS]

00:29:15 ◼   ► are you sure i don't like people to [TS]

00:29:17 ◼   ► stick around in bed i wanted to go sleep [TS]

00:29:19 ◼   ► in their own bed [TS]

00:29:20 ◼   ► it's a new kind of hybrid that combines [TS]

00:29:21 ◼   ► this mattress can accommodate three [TS]

00:29:24 ◼   ► people let's just say that right [TS]

00:29:26 ◼   ► what size is that it's I swear the King [TS]

00:29:28 ◼   ► one who [TS]

00:29:29 ◼   ► so here's the crazy thing yeah right i [TS]

00:29:32 ◼   ► think they're gonna find out what [TS]

00:29:33 ◼   ► happened so i'm gonna be knocking on [TS]

00:29:34 ◼   ► your door buddy [TS]

00:29:35 ◼   ► so then I got a second one through you [TS]

00:29:38 ◼   ► know by hook or by crook let's say let's [TS]

00:29:40 ◼   ► say I was not a scam [TS]

00:29:42 ◼   ► I wasn't trying to scam anybody i was [TS]

00:29:43 ◼   ► just like hey Here I am Here I am I'm [TS]

00:29:45 ◼   ► doing these podcasts plural [TS]

00:29:47 ◼   ► yeah and the podcast to match to podcast [TS]

00:29:50 ◼   ► to match that's the that's the old [TS]

00:29:52 ◼   ► exchange rate and so that the next one [TS]

00:29:55 ◼   ► when the Talmud next one I was like it's [TS]

00:30:00 ◼   ► really more of a it is a product an [TS]

00:30:02 ◼   ► Ashkenazi uh [TS]

00:30:03 ◼   ► that's the park in here the the is it [TS]

00:30:07 ◼   ► right for a man to have two mattresses [TS]

00:30:08 ◼   ► in exchange for to podcast so here's one [TS]

00:30:10 ◼   ► here's one here's what i did on the [TS]

00:30:11 ◼   ► second the second mattress I was like [TS]

00:30:13 ◼   ► you know what I want to California king [TS]

00:30:14 ◼   ► I've never been before and I'm big man i [TS]

00:30:17 ◼   ► want it say yeah I don't think I've ever [TS]

00:30:19 ◼   ► even seen one if I had a california king [TS]

00:30:21 ◼   ► i might not even shoot people on my bad [TS]

00:30:22 ◼   ► i might welcome them into my bed get [TS]

00:30:24 ◼   ► their little zip code [TS]

00:30:26 ◼   ► yeah that's right you go over to that [TS]

00:30:28 ◼   ► side of the mattress i'll see you in the [TS]

00:30:29 ◼   ► morning [TS]

00:30:29 ◼   ► so this California King arrives on the [TS]

00:30:33 ◼   ► front porch [TS]

00:30:34 ◼   ► it's still like an impossibly small box [TS]

00:30:37 ◼   ► for what it were pretends to be right up [TS]

00:30:39 ◼   ► or tends to be but uh but I've seen this [TS]

00:30:42 ◼   ► in action so I know I know it's possible [TS]

00:30:46 ◼   ► and I move the california king into the [TS]

00:30:49 ◼   ► living room but the problem is in order [TS]

00:30:52 ◼   ► to install this california king in my [TS]

00:30:54 ◼   ► house I have to actually get rid of my [TS]

00:30:56 ◼   ► actual bed [TS]

00:30:58 ◼   ► oh you got a word problem right now you [TS]

00:31:01 ◼   ► got you got some kind of thing where you [TS]

00:31:02 ◼   ► got this is not gonna be easy a single [TS]

00:31:03 ◼   ► answer for this to go to trial game too [TS]

00:31:05 ◼   ► kind of existential tile game I've got a [TS]

00:31:07 ◼   ► queen size sleigh bed and the sleigh bed [TS]

00:31:09 ◼   ► creaks when you are when you move [TS]

00:31:14 ◼   ► trigger vigorously yes and that can be [TS]

00:31:16 ◼   ► funny [TS]

00:31:17 ◼   ► depending on who your houseguest is your [TS]

00:31:19 ◼   ► Majesty but it can also be kind of a [TS]

00:31:21 ◼   ► pain in the ass just very much [TS]

00:31:23 ◼   ► distracting right here just like what is [TS]

00:31:25 ◼   ► come on this can't be real this is like [TS]

00:31:27 ◼   ► something that adds an element [TS]

00:31:28 ◼   ► competition it's like that's like the [TS]

00:31:29 ◼   ► movie delicate testing this is somebody [TS]

00:31:32 ◼   ► down there somebody like cutting up some [TS]

00:31:33 ◼   ► pork and a french movie with their the [TS]

00:31:35 ◼   ► garbage can that's right that's right in [TS]

00:31:37 ◼   ► the garbage can [TS]

00:31:38 ◼   ► the the one with the tape recorder that [TS]

00:31:39 ◼   ► says who have you been sleeping boots [TS]

00:31:41 ◼   ► that's good movie at the galaxy frog in [TS]

00:31:43 ◼   ► it i think i feel like i feel like i'm [TS]

00:31:45 ◼   ► mixing up consistently and you say no [TS]

00:31:47 ◼   ► but kinda but that's a queen-size bed [TS]

00:31:49 ◼   ► and here's the here's the thing in the [TS]

00:31:51 ◼   ► in the in the sleigh bed there is a [TS]

00:31:56 ◼   ► mattress that i have had since uh since [TS]

00:32:00 ◼   ► basically three weeks after I quit [TS]

00:32:03 ◼   ► drinking which was 21 hours i think the [TS]

00:32:07 ◼   ► international matches authority would [TS]

00:32:08 ◼   ► tell you you should be changing that [TS]

00:32:10 ◼   ► little fellow a little more you should [TS]

00:32:12 ◼   ► change that mattress long time ago but [TS]

00:32:13 ◼   ► here's what happened [TS]

00:32:14 ◼   ► I got sober and i was like i needed i [TS]

00:32:16 ◼   ► need to get an apartment i haven't had [TS]

00:32:18 ◼   ► an apartment for a while to get key i [TS]

00:32:19 ◼   ► should buy a toothbrush one of these [TS]

00:32:21 ◼   ► days and I need a mattress so I I went [TS]

00:32:25 ◼   ► out to one of those places like keep [TS]

00:32:27 ◼   ► mattresses on the side of the road and [TS]

00:32:28 ◼   ► there was a there was a shipping [TS]

00:32:30 ◼   ► container and you could go in the [TS]

00:32:32 ◼   ► shipping container and walk down the [TS]

00:32:34 ◼   ► dark like no lights in it and pick your [TS]

00:32:37 ◼   ► mattress out of there in the solitary [TS]

00:32:38 ◼   ► 450 shoot somebody off of pit and there [TS]

00:32:42 ◼   ► was no so they were all stacked up like [TS]

00:32:43 ◼   ► mattresses stand on end [TS]

00:32:46 ◼   ► Wow and so I walk through and I'm [TS]

00:32:47 ◼   ► looking at these things and i pointed [TS]

00:32:49 ◼   ► out there and that what this is at a [TS]

00:32:51 ◼   ► time [TS]

00:32:51 ◼   ► kinda like remember one Gibson Les [TS]

00:32:53 ◼   ► Paul's were judged by how heavy they [TS]

00:32:56 ◼   ► were oh yeah like all the heavier the [TS]

00:32:58 ◼   ► les paul the more sustained and now if [TS]

00:33:01 ◼   ► you go to get some company they they [TS]

00:33:04 ◼   ► sell you the lightest Les Paul that's [TS]

00:33:07 ◼   ► the sign of quality the light ones [TS]

00:33:09 ◼   ► because they can still get the [TS]

00:33:10 ◼   ► performance characteristics or without [TS]

00:33:11 ◼   ► the way if you're playing for a long [TS]

00:33:12 ◼   ► time on stage that becomes be on the [TS]

00:33:14 ◼   ► lighter guitar apparently although I [TS]

00:33:15 ◼   ► feel like a heavy guitar still good [TS]

00:33:17 ◼   ► anyway I'm walking through this thing's [TS]

00:33:18 ◼   ► that's silly ad that's the that's the [TS]

00:33:20 ◼   ► only comparison i have so I'm like I [TS]

00:33:21 ◼   ► want the heaviest mattress here a smile [TS]

00:33:24 ◼   ► and pulling these light matches out no [TS]

00:33:25 ◼   ► no no and then I come to a mattress that [TS]

00:33:28 ◼   ► is a purple paisley and be weighs as [TS]

00:33:32 ◼   ► much as a honda civic now even with [TS]

00:33:34 ◼   ► paisley that's a mattress that for a man [TS]

00:33:36 ◼   ► like you at that time that's the future [TS]

00:33:38 ◼   ► not the past [TS]

00:33:38 ◼   ► all right that's exactly right i felt [TS]

00:33:40 ◼   ► like I'm i got a toothbrush now I've [TS]

00:33:43 ◼   ► been sober sober for three weeks i'm [TS]

00:33:45 ◼   ► getting a purple paisley mattress that i [TS]

00:33:46 ◼   ► had that treat myself to a mattress out [TS]

00:33:48 ◼   ► of shipping containers right for people [TS]

00:33:50 ◼   ► can't lift this mattress and I brought [TS]

00:33:52 ◼   ► home it was firm like you were sleeping [TS]

00:33:55 ◼   ► on a Honda Civic em but I've had it for [TS]

00:33:59 ◼   ► 20 years literally every good thing [TS]

00:34:03 ◼   ► that's ever happened to me has happened [TS]

00:34:04 ◼   ► on that mattress every bad thing that's [TS]

00:34:06 ◼   ► ever happened to me has happened on that [TS]

00:34:07 ◼   ► mattress it is that mattress now is I [TS]

00:34:12 ◼   ► would say uh i would say it is the color [TS]

00:34:16 ◼   ► of Oklahoma as seen from the air and it [TS]

00:34:22 ◼   ► is so knackered right yeah it has [TS]

00:34:27 ◼   ► everyone I've ever known has left a part [TS]

00:34:31 ◼   ► of themselves in one or the other side [TS]

00:34:34 ◼   ► of this mattress literally every person [TS]

00:34:36 ◼   ► i've ever been [TS]

00:34:37 ◼   ► I've ever been close to and you know at [TS]

00:34:40 ◼   ► some point in their sort of right after [TS]

00:34:42 ◼   ► I quit drinking i got scabies um because [TS]

00:34:46 ◼   ► I still is and still is trafficking with [TS]

00:34:49 ◼   ► people that I knew the old days there [TS]

00:34:51 ◼   ► but this is not a cats purr question no [TS]

00:34:53 ◼   ► no no this is this matches i got a [TS]

00:34:55 ◼   ► shipping container anyway i sterilized [TS]

00:34:58 ◼   ► it somehow I think bye-bye like pouring [TS]

00:35:00 ◼   ► a hydrogen peroxide on it which was the [TS]

00:35:03 ◼   ► only multi-tool I hadn't yeah sure [TS]

00:35:05 ◼   ► and ya literature I mean I can see it's [TS]

00:35:09 ◼   ► like a Rorschach test of my entire life [TS]

00:35:11 ◼   ► oh and so I'm very reluctant to get rid [TS]

00:35:14 ◼   ► of it except it is past its expiration [TS]

00:35:16 ◼   ► date [TS]

00:35:17 ◼   ► the problem is it still weighs 700 [TS]

00:35:19 ◼   ► pounds i can't just slap it down the [TS]

00:35:21 ◼   ► stairs and move it outside [TS]

00:35:23 ◼   ► I said that's it that's the challenge so [TS]

00:35:25 ◼   ► the whole thing's gotta go my whole room [TS]

00:35:27 ◼   ► he's gotta change I've got this [TS]

00:35:28 ◼   ► california king waiting in its cocoon [TS]

00:35:31 ◼   ► down in my entryway and I'm like so [TS]

00:35:35 ◼   ► excited about it but I also there's a [TS]

00:35:37 ◼   ► there's an uphill climb before i can [TS]

00:35:39 ◼   ► like deploy this in life [TS]

00:35:42 ◼   ► the crazy part is if you get your Casper [TS]

00:35:43 ◼   ► mattress for some reason we could just [TS]

00:35:47 ◼   ► not the Paisley mattress John's over 20 [TS]

00:35:49 ◼   ► years [TS]

00:35:49 ◼   ► halfway through the read listen if [TS]

00:35:53 ◼   ► anybody wants to come by be the last one [TS]

00:35:55 ◼   ► to sleeping on a mattress this could be [TS]

00:35:57 ◼   ► a promotion with Casper maybe cast which [TS]

00:35:59 ◼   ► is what contest be the last one to leave [TS]

00:36:01 ◼   ► your mark on John's Paisley that's right [TS]

00:36:02 ◼   ► yeah that's right you can take it with [TS]

00:36:04 ◼   ► you when you go you should please [TS]

00:36:06 ◼   ► imagine what like in the crime lab what [TS]

00:36:08 ◼   ► they would have to deal with in terms of [TS]

00:36:09 ◼   ► there's no control on he even imagine [TS]

00:36:12 ◼   ► you could create you know basically you [TS]

00:36:13 ◼   ► could repopulate the planet [TS]

00:36:15 ◼   ► I just taking the DNA out of this [TS]

00:36:17 ◼   ► mattress and saying like well there's I [TS]

00:36:19 ◼   ► mean we have 400 completely separate DNA [TS]

00:36:22 ◼   ► and probably 4,000 DNA's that have [TS]

00:36:26 ◼   ► combined unnatural my god the island of [TS]

00:36:28 ◼   ► dr honor you get this casper mattresses [TS]

00:36:32 ◼   ► the one of the glass [TS]

00:36:33 ◼   ► super-clean nitrous incredibly clean [TS]

00:36:36 ◼   ► it's a lot nice living in a [TS]

00:36:37 ◼   ► hermetically-sealed background God and [TS]

00:36:40 ◼   ► you get in your house and you sleep on [TS]

00:36:41 ◼   ► it for a hundred knights and if you are [TS]

00:36:42 ◼   ► not satisfied for some reason you can [TS]

00:36:44 ◼   ► send it back because that is their [TS]

00:36:45 ◼   ► policy is free delivery paints returns [TS]

00:36:47 ◼   ► it's made in America and get sleep [TS]

00:36:49 ◼   ► glorious sleep all of that is incredible [TS]

00:36:51 ◼   ► all the amazing the prices are bananas [TS]

00:36:53 ◼   ► on these things he started with five [TS]

00:36:54 ◼   ► hundred dollars for twin size up to 954 [TS]

00:36:56 ◼   ► a king-size mattress that is like about [TS]

00:36:58 ◼   ► half of what you pay in my experience [TS]

00:37:00 ◼   ► dynamite dynamite [TS]

00:37:02 ◼   ► I don't you know the thing is now i'm [TS]

00:37:03 ◼   ► thinking rather than take the Paisley [TS]

00:37:06 ◼   ► mattress out i feel like i should give [TS]

00:37:09 ◼   ► it to a lab because there may be new [TS]

00:37:10 ◼   ► strains of penicillin they could pull [TS]

00:37:12 ◼   ► out of it or potentially like like [TS]

00:37:15 ◼   ► painkillers you solve crimes [TS]

00:37:17 ◼   ► sure well I don't think they're there [TS]

00:37:19 ◼   ► weren't any real crimes man on that [TS]

00:37:22 ◼   ► mattress somewhere incredible part is [TS]

00:37:24 ◼   ► that it is a list of this show you can [TS]

00:37:26 ◼   ► go to Casper calm / supertrain and use [TS]

00:37:28 ◼   ► the very special offer code supertrain [TS]

00:37:30 ◼   ► wait a minute and you get fifty dollars [TS]

00:37:34 ◼   ► towards the purchase of any mattress my [TS]

00:37:36 ◼   ► ship has been tastic terms and get [TS]

00:37:41 ◼   ► supplies and test so glad I brought you [TS]

00:37:44 ◼   ► and that's thanks to Casper for a great [TS]

00:37:47 ◼   ► night sleep and for supporting Roderick [TS]

00:37:49 ◼   ► online Thank You Casper you have you [TS]

00:37:51 ◼   ► have revolutionized my life and and I [TS]

00:37:54 ◼   ► feel like if you like when i finally get [TS]

00:37:56 ◼   ► rid of that that old mattress it's the [TS]

00:37:59 ◼   ► beats the dawn of a new age I have to be [TS]

00:38:01 ◼   ► honest with you I don't know it might be [TS]

00:38:03 ◼   ► a gas leak [TS]

00:38:04 ◼   ► I think something's happened to me in [TS]

00:38:05 ◼   ► the last 15 minutes do you are you [TS]

00:38:07 ◼   ► feeling anything with the msg and the [TS]

00:38:09 ◼   ► human my tongue has the swelling has [TS]

00:38:11 ◼   ► gone down I still feel like there's I [TS]

00:38:14 ◼   ► still feel like I have a battery in my [TS]

00:38:15 ◼   ► mouth but it's just a triple a battery [TS]

00:38:18 ◼   ► I feel like I'm falling down very very [TS]

00:38:21 ◼   ► very very slowly [TS]

00:38:24 ◼   ► you had the feeling he wasn't really [TS]

00:38:26 ◼   ► going down yeah exactly like oh no I'm [TS]

00:38:28 ◼   ► fine i think is i'm falling down but it [TS]

00:38:30 ◼   ► might take me a week and a half now that [TS]

00:38:32 ◼   ► you mention it I feel like I have an [TS]

00:38:34 ◼   ► extra stomach [TS]

00:38:35 ◼   ► yeah well you you sound both very close [TS]

00:38:38 ◼   ► and very far away right now [TS]

00:38:39 ◼   ► yeah well it might be it might be the [TS]

00:38:41 ◼   ► extra stomach like I've never felt like [TS]

00:38:44 ◼   ► I had two stomachs beforehand [TS]

00:38:45 ◼   ► isn't weird strange i'm gonna miss that [TS]

00:38:47 ◼   ► damn somebody I'll tell you what I miss [TS]

00:38:49 ◼   ► it already [TS]

00:38:50 ◼   ► so we had lunch and welcome back to [TS]

00:38:53 ◼   ► Sunday afternoon with John Merlin who [TS]

00:38:55 ◼   ► and we went to the 0 which the walgreens [TS]

00:38:57 ◼   ► got some guts math half went to the [TS]

00:38:58 ◼   ► walgreens we saw a very very interesting [TS]

00:39:01 ◼   ► thing at the walgreens yes which I don't [TS]

00:39:04 ◼   ► I don't mean to say i don't mean to say [TS]

00:39:06 ◼   ► that like weird line that couldn't [TS]

00:39:08 ◼   ► figure out whether it was a line or not [TS]

00:39:10 ◼   ► like well everyone that join the line [TS]

00:39:12 ◼   ► was like is this the line oh no no one's [TS]

00:39:15 ◼   ► ever know where the line is that is a [TS]

00:39:17 ◼   ► bunch of people standing around in there [TS]

00:39:18 ◼   ► are some castor just let me talk about [TS]

00:39:20 ◼   ► this walking in the past that it sounds [TS]

00:39:22 ◼   ► so if you just listen to the program's [TS]

00:39:24 ◼   ► you think I'm exaggerating left it with [TS]

00:39:26 ◼   ► this is the walgreens where we bought [TS]

00:39:27 ◼   ► the Cape [TS]

00:39:28 ◼   ► yes we're then we went and had a night [TS]

00:39:31 ◼   ► with John tonight with the Cape [TS]

00:39:33 ◼   ► yes yes yes we took photos of you but [TS]

00:39:35 ◼   ► but you know what you would you not [TS]

00:39:36 ◼   ► agree that there is there is some kind [TS]

00:39:38 ◼   ► of something a little bit Grimm brothers [TS]

00:39:39 ◼   ► about this walgreens this walgreens I've [TS]

00:39:42 ◼   ► been to a lot of walgreens let's be [TS]

00:39:43 ◼   ► honest answers first of all it's an [TS]

00:39:44 ◼   ► urban walgreen so it doesn't have the [TS]

00:39:46 ◼   ► full like it doesn't stretch out like a [TS]

00:39:48 ◼   ► normal water now it's very compact they [TS]

00:39:51 ◼   ► probably don't have what you need and if [TS]

00:39:53 ◼   ► they do have something that's like what [TS]

00:39:54 ◼   ► you need [TS]

00:39:55 ◼   ► they might have one of it or be out of [TS]

00:39:56 ◼   ► it huh and everyone knows where the line [TS]

00:39:59 ◼   ► is everything everytime we can like [TS]

00:40:00 ◼   ► write because there's some machines that [TS]

00:40:02 ◼   ► you can get your copies made all your [TS]

00:40:04 ◼   ► photos made prescription there maybe for [TS]

00:40:06 ◼   ► cash registers registers open or just [TS]

00:40:08 ◼   ► the pharmacy and then no one's gonna [TS]

00:40:11 ◼   ► reach out [TS]

00:40:12 ◼   ► yeah there's sort of a grouping of [TS]

00:40:13 ◼   ► people and no one's in charge and then [TS]

00:40:15 ◼   ► it got endcaps people are fighting to [TS]

00:40:17 ◼   ► get to the end caps and because it's the [TS]

00:40:19 ◼   ► holidays I here in San Francisco there's [TS]

00:40:22 ◼   ► an end cap full of sharper image branded [TS]

00:40:24 ◼   ► products that's right which I couldn't I [TS]

00:40:26 ◼   ► mean I stripper image has really fallen [TS]

00:40:28 ◼   ► from its early days as a as a thing that [TS]

00:40:31 ◼   ► was expected james bond company [TS]

00:40:33 ◼   ► yeah really like you were CEO and you [TS]

00:40:36 ◼   ► wanted something on your desk and said [TS]

00:40:37 ◼   ► I'm an asshole some little bit like you [TS]

00:40:40 ◼   ► get that is where the balls are going [TS]

00:40:42 ◼   ► obsidian Yeah right and I'm sitting I'm [TS]

00:40:45 ◼   ► an asshole look at me [TS]

00:40:46 ◼   ► look at me and then they moved into [TS]

00:40:48 ◼   ► massage chairs and air filters well [TS]

00:40:50 ◼   ► there was a while didn't have a [TS]

00:40:51 ◼   ► submarine was like Hammacher Schlemmer [TS]

00:40:53 ◼   ► slam slam your hammer slammer consumers [TS]

00:40:55 ◼   ► for they had all of those things that [TS]

00:40:57 ◼   ► hammer slicer and and now I think I [TS]

00:41:00 ◼   ► don't even know there's still a company [TS]

00:41:01 ◼   ► I think they might just like PR card and [TS]

00:41:03 ◼   ► I think just by their name to put on [TS]

00:41:05 ◼   ► yeah it's a brand and you can just like [TS]

00:41:06 ◼   ► yeah it's did you just put it on with [TS]

00:41:08 ◼   ► like one of those price guns seriously [TS]

00:41:10 ◼   ► think I love dad I want to make his day [TS]

00:41:12 ◼   ► special yeah I want to get him something [TS]

00:41:13 ◼   ► nice from the sharper image and cap & [TS]

00:41:17 ◼   ► Cabot the walgreens is it would say i [TS]

00:41:19 ◼   ► love you daddy [TS]

00:41:21 ◼   ► yeah so we're looking at this work I [TS]

00:41:22 ◼   ► mean you know absolutely looking at [TS]

00:41:24 ◼   ► because we're just two guys that can't [TS]

00:41:25 ◼   ► find it with long as we think we're in [TS]

00:41:27 ◼   ► line but we're not sure and and then I [TS]

00:41:30 ◼   ► notice that there's a flask sharper [TS]

00:41:33 ◼   ► image flask an email kind of lasting put [TS]

00:41:35 ◼   ► your back pocket down your back pocket [TS]

00:41:37 ◼   ► plastic might take to a football game up [TS]

00:41:38 ◼   ► lid on it is something that you know [TS]

00:41:40 ◼   ► it's not like I'm an alcoholic it's just [TS]

00:41:42 ◼   ► like I just want to carry somebody [TS]

00:41:43 ◼   ► saying you're walking on you would have [TS]

00:41:45 ◼   ► a little nip i went a little miss [TS]

00:41:46 ◼   ► designed the small paperback book you [TS]

00:41:48 ◼   ► can put that in your pocket enjoy a [TS]

00:41:49 ◼   ► little bit of just something if you may [TS]

00:41:50 ◼   ► be out in a duck blind or you're sitting [TS]

00:41:53 ◼   ► at sitting up under Pendleton blanket at [TS]

00:41:55 ◼   ► the at the college game which in your [TS]

00:41:56 ◼   ► vest pocket polo flash flash give [TS]

00:41:58 ◼   ► somebody give the guy next to you and [TS]

00:41:59 ◼   ► nip put a little bit in your coffee [TS]

00:42:01 ◼   ► maybe [TS]

00:42:01 ◼   ► sure right doesn't mean you have a [TS]

00:42:03 ◼   ► drinking problem just means that you [TS]

00:42:04 ◼   ► want a little you just want like eight [TS]

00:42:06 ◼   ► ounces Merry Christmas but this flask is [TS]

00:42:09 ◼   ► characterized by a unique it has a [TS]

00:42:11 ◼   ► unique quality that other flash don't [TS]

00:42:13 ◼   ► which is that it is a 40-ounce flat [TS]

00:42:16 ◼   ► 40-ounce baskets about the size of a [TS]

00:42:18 ◼   ► professional frisbee [TS]

00:42:19 ◼   ► yeah that's right it's about so it's a [TS]

00:42:21 ◼   ► disciple 175 [TS]

00:42:23 ◼   ► yeah but it's shaped in every other way [TS]

00:42:25 ◼   ► my hip pockets like a hip flask [TS]

00:42:28 ◼   ► yeah and so we stared at it we picked it [TS]

00:42:31 ◼   ► up off the shelf and passed it back and [TS]

00:42:32 ◼   ► forth between yes tried to we tried to [TS]

00:42:35 ◼   ► imagine how how bored we try to compute [TS]

00:42:39 ◼   ► if you can put an entire liquor bomb [TS]

00:42:41 ◼   ► into this which you could well I'd also [TS]

00:42:45 ◼   ► as it happens there is a standard [TS]

00:42:47 ◼   ► alcohol unit that is 40 ounces alone a [TS]

00:42:53 ◼   ► lot of people think of malt liquor they [TS]

00:42:54 ◼   ► think of a quart of malt liquor right [TS]

00:42:56 ◼   ► but we're talking about a 40 do you [TS]

00:42:58 ◼   ► no how many ounces is 40 ounces mm it's [TS]

00:43:01 ◼   ► yeah it's a lot of a lot of that I can't [TS]

00:43:03 ◼   ► do the math that fast but and so if [TS]

00:43:06 ◼   ► you're holding this flask you'd base [TS]

00:43:07 ◼   ► basically in scale you would like an [TS]

00:43:09 ◼   ► alcoholic child it's more that's right [TS]

00:43:11 ◼   ► it's more than a leader it's like to [TS]

00:43:13 ◼   ► love 1.2 leaders and and just imagining [TS]

00:43:18 ◼   ► like you would have to you would have to [TS]

00:43:19 ◼   ► either have a friend help you carry it [TS]

00:43:22 ◼   ► yes you can put it in the back pocket of [TS]

00:43:24 ◼   ► your films and jacket but it wasn't [TS]

00:43:26 ◼   ► co-branded with filson no that's just a [TS]

00:43:28 ◼   ► little thing i'm doing [TS]

00:43:29 ◼   ► whoo-hoo and is honestly I almost bought [TS]

00:43:33 ◼   ► it and I still think maybe i want to buy [TS]

00:43:36 ◼   ► it looks so good because on the [TS]

00:43:38 ◼   ► passenger seat [TS]

00:43:39 ◼   ► yeah it goes with the RV right it just [TS]

00:43:41 ◼   ► go sleep and the thing is i would fill [TS]

00:43:42 ◼   ► with acetone or benzene yeah something [TS]

00:43:46 ◼   ► that you need if you want to and like [TS]

00:43:48 ◼   ► prime a fuel-injection system [TS]

00:43:50 ◼   ► 30-5 search for 1.5 liters / no by all [TS]

00:43:54 ◼   ► means are taking it [TS]

00:43:56 ◼   ► it's full of acetone we have plenty of [TS]

00:43:59 ◼   ► time to look at it it's a fantastic [TS]

00:44:01 ◼   ► thing and the more I think about it the [TS]

00:44:02 ◼   ► more I like once you get it you get it i [TS]

00:44:04 ◼   ► feel like i wanted i mean I'm you know [TS]

00:44:06 ◼   ► what I'm just gonna buy it for christmas [TS]

00:44:07 ◼   ► that's sweet of you yeah you got to wrap [TS]

00:44:09 ◼   ► yourselves that alright yeah ok I'm [TS]

00:44:11 ◼   ► going to wrap it haha i don't want to [TS]

00:44:13 ◼   ► make it John feeling I'm feeling i think [TS]

00:44:14 ◼   ► i had too much human do you want some [TS]

00:44:16 ◼   ► special month when I live in upland you [TS]

00:44:18 ◼   ► know I'm surprised as sitting here [TS]

00:44:20 ◼   ► looking at you [TS]

00:44:20 ◼   ► yeah that the this is this is spills [TS]

00:44:24 ◼   ► like a normal podcast it feels like [TS]

00:44:25 ◼   ► sitting around with you talking if I [TS]

00:44:26 ◼   ► were hallucinating from the food i would [TS]

00:44:28 ◼   ► be feeling pretty good [TS]

00:44:30 ◼   ► somebody asked me the other day whether [TS]

00:44:31 ◼   ► we look at each other when we podcasting [TS]

00:44:32 ◼   ► I was like no yes I'm you get questions [TS]

00:44:37 ◼   ► that are hard to answer because they're [TS]

00:44:38 ◼   ► so wrong we're not even right yeah I [TS]

00:44:40 ◼   ► like it will ask me how long it i have [TS]

00:44:42 ◼   ► been asking the past how long it takes [TS]

00:44:43 ◼   ► to write in episodes haha that's [TS]

00:44:49 ◼   ► difficult to answer you know somebody [TS]

00:44:51 ◼   ► asked me the other day like how much [TS]

00:44:52 ◼   ► preparation i do before on the line I'll [TS]

00:44:55 ◼   ► get all got rehearsal you got scheduling [TS]

00:44:57 ◼   ► you got the fittings get to the fittings [TS]

00:44:59 ◼   ► know sometimes I put on a shirt but I i [TS]

00:45:03 ◼   ► remember the first time you called me on [TS]

00:45:05 ◼   ► skype and I or maybe I called you or [TS]

00:45:07 ◼   ► something like that but it was like I i [TS]

00:45:10 ◼   ► push the video button [TS]

00:45:12 ◼   ► because i didn't know what i was doing [TS]

00:45:14 ◼   ► my nightmare and you were you started [TS]

00:45:16 ◼   ► yelling no no no video no video and I've [TS]

00:45:19 ◼   ► never since then I've never used video [TS]

00:45:21 ◼   ► skype I why don't even I don't even [TS]

00:45:23 ◼   ► touch it the button that button just [TS]

00:45:25 ◼   ► feels like like like some kind of flush [TS]

00:45:27 ◼   ► button [TS]

00:45:28 ◼   ► I don't trigger people but I happen to [TS]

00:45:30 ◼   ► know that I share an electronic fear [TS]

00:45:33 ◼   ► with with other people a lot of my [TS]

00:45:34 ◼   ► friends have this your biggest fear is [TS]

00:45:37 ◼   ► your phone starts ringing it's a weird [TS]

00:45:38 ◼   ► ringtone oh my god it's a FaceTime [TS]

00:45:40 ◼   ► clearly call you pick it up [TS]

00:45:42 ◼   ► unknown caller requesting a video call [TS]

00:45:45 ◼   ► haha that happen to us triggering yes [TS]

00:45:48 ◼   ► somebody in trinidad and tobago Kaponi [TS]

00:45:50 ◼   ► alexa turn office lights off yeah also [TS]

00:45:59 ◼   ► just so you know anybody who has a an [TS]

00:46:02 ◼   ► Amazon echo in the house you turned off [TS]

00:46:03 ◼   ► their life [TS]

00:46:04 ◼   ► why do exactly that's great alexa uh [TS]

00:46:08 ◼   ► open garage door couldn't find a [TS]

00:46:13 ◼   ► divisive group named garage door moving [TS]

00:46:15 ◼   ► profile alexa who's John Roderick Oh [TS]

00:46:19 ◼   ► John Roderick is an American musician [TS]

00:46:22 ◼   ► writer podcaster and politician I'm a [TS]

00:46:30 ◼   ► podcaster and politician that's Thank [TS]

00:46:34 ◼   ► You election [TS]

00:46:35 ◼   ► thank you oof that's a good work here [TS]

00:46:39 ◼   ► writing I feel like when do I feel I [TS]

00:46:42 ◼   ► actually feel a little bit we look like [TS]

00:46:43 ◼   ► my like my arm like my eyelids are [TS]

00:46:45 ◼   ► sweating yeah i'm starting to get the [TS]

00:46:47 ◼   ► Rosicrucians of msg as I said that group [TS]

00:46:51 ◼   ► of friars that you can get the tear out [TS]

00:46:52 ◼   ► of magazines that they have a monastery [TS]

00:46:54 ◼   ► important the Rosicrucians the [TS]

00:46:56 ◼   ► Rosicrucians of different from rosacea [TS]

00:46:59 ◼   ► that's what I English boy spanglish boys [TS]

00:47:01 ◼   ► had their oh yeah rosacea is a show [TS]

00:47:04 ◼   ► that's how you tell a German from a [TS]

00:47:06 ◼   ► group of other white people [TS]

00:47:07 ◼   ► it's alright yeah i got that capillaries [TS]

00:47:09 ◼   ► yeah the capillary start to burst at a [TS]

00:47:12 ◼   ► young age the uber storm capillaries [TS]

00:47:13 ◼   ► scheisse [TS]

00:47:15 ◼   ► well it's dark in here now it is dark [TS]

00:47:17 ◼   ► shop alexa turn on [TS]

00:47:20 ◼   ► those lights ok ok it's pretty Boyce's I [TS]

00:47:27 ◼   ► I feel like she should be more [TS]

00:47:29 ◼   ► respectful of course needs to I think I [TS]

00:47:32 ◼   ► think she should say okay or I think she [TS]

00:47:34 ◼   ► should say yes sir or yes mr. Roderick [TS]

00:47:36 ◼   ► or yes mr. man [TS]

00:47:38 ◼   ► mhm like okay just feels like what the [TS]

00:47:41 ◼   ► food the fucker you used to get that [TS]

00:47:43 ◼   ► with my gps where I really felt like I [TS]

00:47:46 ◼   ► knew in my head to to a near certainty [TS]

00:47:48 ◼   ► that there's no way the voice was [TS]

00:47:50 ◼   ► actually getting frustrated with me but [TS]

00:47:52 ◼   ► still we go [TS]

00:47:54 ◼   ► recalculating I just don't I just felt [TS]

00:47:56 ◼   ► like decades of disappointment in the [TS]

00:47:58 ◼   ► place is like make a u-turn when [TS]

00:48:00 ◼   ► possible [TS]

00:48:01 ◼   ► recalculating make a u-turn well the [TS]

00:48:02 ◼   ► thing i love about the new gps is is [TS]

00:48:05 ◼   ► that they have started to do like given [TS]

00:48:08 ◼   ► normal traffic there you are on the [TS]

00:48:11 ◼   ► fastest route except for like at the one [TS]

00:48:16 ◼   ► of them said to me today except for some [TS]

00:48:17 ◼   ► traffic was like some how do you know [TS]

00:48:20 ◼   ► about some traffic you don't know you [TS]

00:48:22 ◼   ► don't know how much traffic is some [TS]

00:48:24 ◼   ► traffic you're you're like a you're an [TS]

00:48:27 ◼   ► algorithm another man start don't start [TS]

00:48:29 ◼   ► put using like it with me started using [TS]

00:48:31 ◼   ► mitigating words ray like maybe you'll [TS]

00:48:33 ◼   ► get there at that it's like Oh for your [TS]

00:48:36 ◼   ► drive home [TS]

00:48:36 ◼   ► it's going to be a little bit busy huh [TS]

00:48:39 ◼   ► and I thought is that I feel like it's [TS]

00:48:41 ◼   ► the you know what it is it's casual [TS]

00:48:43 ◼   ► Friday everywhere [TS]

00:48:44 ◼   ► yeah and they're all the people that are [TS]

00:48:45 ◼   ► making these robots for us they're like [TS]

00:48:47 ◼   ► oh what we want is a robot that's really [TS]

00:48:49 ◼   ► cash so it's serious as who's John [TS]

00:48:52 ◼   ► Roderick oh my god says who's your [TS]

00:48:56 ◼   ► daughter turned on what my gosh it Bob's [TS]

00:48:59 ◼   ► your daughter that's not the influence [TS]

00:49:01 ◼   ► is really horrifying [TS]

00:49:02 ◼   ► who's John Roderick 00087 just pull up [TS]

00:49:08 ◼   ► your card lets you got anything [TS]

00:49:10 ◼   ► yeah I want to hear her voice wikipedia [TS]

00:49:13 ◼   ► John Roderick I just because all it [TS]

00:49:17 ◼   ► isn't this photo of you look at that is [TS]

00:49:19 ◼   ► early and that's a home haircut huh [TS]

00:49:21 ◼   ► is there a nice photo or 40 just having [TS]

00:49:23 ◼   ► a 47 i did i just turned 40 I was back [TS]

00:49:25 ◼   ► in September 47 it turns out when people [TS]

00:49:28 ◼   ► uh [TS]

00:49:30 ◼   ► this is something i didn't know but that [TS]

00:49:32 ◼   ► middle-aged white men are afforded [TS]

00:49:35 ◼   ► certain uh privileges in our society I [TS]

00:49:38 ◼   ► don't think that's accurate and and as a [TS]

00:49:41 ◼   ► right when i turned 47 all the sudden I [TS]

00:49:43 ◼   ► started getting treated differently i [TS]

00:49:45 ◼   ► was already traded with a lot of respect [TS]

00:49:46 ◼   ► just by General by the general [TS]

00:49:49 ◼   ► population after carrier mom's groceries [TS]

00:49:51 ◼   ► yeah yeah right exactly but Meryl I just [TS]

00:49:53 ◼   ► feel like I feel like the police are [TS]

00:49:55 ◼   ► very respectful i gotta pull I gotta [TS]

00:49:57 ◼   ► park are not a parking a speeding ticket [TS]

00:49:59 ◼   ► driving through pepperdine university [TS]

00:50:01 ◼   ► the other day in my RV and I was like [TS]

00:50:04 ◼   ► you know the this is a college campus in [TS]

00:50:07 ◼   ► there is no part of it where you can [TS]

00:50:09 ◼   ► drive an RV 60 miles an hour and that I [TS]

00:50:12 ◼   ► was like did you break that question in [TS]

00:50:13 ◼   ► two parts like you know I suppose I do a [TS]

00:50:15 ◼   ► lot of things are suffering do you mean [TS]

00:50:18 ◼   ► no place that's very poorly worded he [TS]

00:50:21 ◼   ► said when when you tried to stop it you [TS]

00:50:24 ◼   ► actually skidded to a stop but I was [TS]

00:50:26 ◼   ► like that was a big hill so I got a [TS]

00:50:30 ◼   ► speeding ticket but and so he handed me [TS]

00:50:32 ◼   ► the ticket to sign and I was very [TS]

00:50:34 ◼   ► frustrated with him because I was like [TS]

00:50:36 ◼   ► I'm in an RV like I want some special [TS]

00:50:39 ◼   ► dispensation here i just bought this [TS]

00:50:41 ◼   ► thing i'm driving to California doing [TS]

00:50:42 ◼   ► you a favor [TS]

00:50:43 ◼   ► absolutely should be excited for you I'm [TS]

00:50:45 ◼   ► bringing commerce to you yes and so he [TS]

00:50:47 ◼   ► handed me the ticket to sign and I was [TS]

00:50:49 ◼   ► feeling I was feeling very much like one [TS]

00:50:52 ◼   ► of those guys that's like I know my [TS]

00:50:53 ◼   ► rights only one of the YouTube guys [TS]

00:50:55 ◼   ► youtube guys it's like I don't have to [TS]

00:50:57 ◼   ► open my window more than one inch that's [TS]

00:50:59 ◼   ► just to be able to pass documents [TS]

00:51:01 ◼   ► through that's right and so the cop [TS]

00:51:03 ◼   ► hands meeting design and I drew and x su [TS]

00:51:05 ◼   ► on my signature internet and handed it [TS]

00:51:08 ◼   ► back to and he was a California state [TS]

00:51:10 ◼   ► highway patrolman Oh chip and he said [TS]

00:51:14 ◼   ► sir is that your signature and I said [TS]

00:51:20 ◼   ► they called me mr. X is that no let me [TS]

00:51:25 ◼   ► hand it back to me and I scrawled some [TS]

00:51:27 ◼   ► like battleship with gyro definitely [TS]

00:51:31 ◼   ► here [TS]

00:51:32 ◼   ► Mildred you're not gonna believe what [TS]

00:51:33 ◼   ► just happened I felt like a man decides [TS]

00:51:36 ◼   ► to get wrong [TS]

00:51:38 ◼   ► come on X you should have you been Jimmy [TS]

00:51:42 ◼   ► was last time somebody sign the ticket X [TS]

00:51:44 ◼   ► doesn't matter they'll be signed for [TS]

00:51:45 ◼   ► credit card you draw a tree on there i [TS]

00:51:47 ◼   ► can do it all the time you draw to draw [TS]

00:51:48 ◼   ► pictures of penis [TS]

00:51:49 ◼   ► I don't really that's not my style [TS]

00:51:52 ◼   ► that's not you but I do not make any [TS]

00:51:54 ◼   ► attempt to replicate my actual signature [TS]

00:51:57 ◼   ► looks terrific [TS]

00:51:59 ◼   ► I go Lou and a lot of times i make that [TS]

00:52:02 ◼   ► sound and I look at the cashier as I'm [TS]

00:52:04 ◼   ► drawing it right I don't look at what [TS]

00:52:07 ◼   ► i'm doing i just go really really rude [TS]

00:52:08 ◼   ► and they always laughing think I'm [TS]

00:52:11 ◼   ► charming people who deliver our [TS]

00:52:12 ◼   ► groceries will have to sign for [TS]

00:52:13 ◼   ► something they've stopped even asking me [TS]

00:52:15 ◼   ► they just signed himself now and I say [TS]

00:52:17 ◼   ► did you want me to sign sign that and [TS]

00:52:18 ◼   ► they go [TS]

00:52:19 ◼   ► that's right I'll do it well so this is [TS]

00:52:21 ◼   ► the crazy thing is that people continue [TS]

00:52:22 ◼   ► to send us PDFs on the internet and say [TS]

00:52:25 ◼   ► we need you to sign this in fact it back [TS]

00:52:27 ◼   ► and I'm like you bastards [TS]

00:52:29 ◼   ► you bastard his fax it back i will not [TS]

00:52:32 ◼   ► sign it and they're like well sorry but [TS]

00:52:34 ◼   ► we can't [TS]

00:52:35 ◼   ► yeah it's disgusting state of affairs [TS]

00:52:36 ◼   ► generalizing like a little bit about a [TS]

00:52:38 ◼   ► sponsor this week another sponsor this [TS]

00:52:40 ◼   ► is braintree braintree is code for easy [TS]

00:52:44 ◼   ► online payments you learn more by going [TS]

00:52:45 ◼   ► to braintree payments dot-com / [TS]

00:52:48 ◼   ► supertrain [TS]

00:52:49 ◼   ► he's braintree before I you have you [TS]

00:52:52 ◼   ► just didn't know it [TS]

00:52:53 ◼   ► what happened when was it all the time [TS]

00:52:54 ◼   ► you get John if you forgive me use the [TS]

00:52:56 ◼   ► number 0 answers yes yes yes have you [TS]

00:53:00 ◼   ► ever been to an Airbnb oh yes i just [TS]

00:53:03 ◼   ► recently was never I get on livingsocial [TS]

00:53:05 ◼   ► whatever that is [TS]

00:53:06 ◼   ► livingsocial all the times that like oh [TS]

00:53:08 ◼   ► yes i do go there and we've got monetary [TS]

00:53:10 ◼   ► delivered mantri terrible name for [TS]

00:53:12 ◼   ► company we've got mantri oh yes we have [TS]

00:53:14 ◼   ► you know that we should get on that [TS]

00:53:15 ◼   ► today instead of the eat those batteries [TS]

00:53:17 ◼   ► they they are the payment solution used [TS]

00:53:20 ◼   ► by companies like that did you know that [TS]

00:53:21 ◼   ► braintree braintree braintree is is [TS]

00:53:24 ◼   ► behind the scenes making all this [TS]

00:53:25 ◼   ► commerce happen that's an excellent [TS]

00:53:27 ◼   ► question John appreciate you asking me [TS]

00:53:28 ◼   ► that [TS]

00:53:29 ◼   ► what you do is you drop in some code and [TS]

00:53:30 ◼   ► get a full stack payment solution [TS]

00:53:32 ◼   ► uh code like like computer code code for [TS]

00:53:35 ◼   ► easy online payments so if your mobile [TS]

00:53:37 ◼   ► app developer you gotta check out [TS]

00:53:38 ◼   ► braintree here's the deal they made the [TS]

00:53:41 ◼   ► payment experiences in so many bf's all [TS]

00:53:43 ◼   ► the great app seamless and magical and [TS]

00:53:45 ◼   ► now you can add a similar experience to [TS]

00:53:47 ◼   ► your own app so this is this the [TS]

00:53:49 ◼   ► braintree is it isn't it is a thing that [TS]

00:53:51 ◼   ► you would use if you were building a nap [TS]

00:53:53 ◼   ► yes to build in the functionality of [TS]

00:53:55 ◼   ► online payments that's an excellent [TS]

00:53:57 ◼   ► question [TS]

00:53:58 ◼   ► Casper's mattress is a one-of-a-kind [TS]

00:54:00 ◼   ► hybrid mattress IC right and right and [TS]

00:54:03 ◼   ► so bring tree is not it's not a thing [TS]

00:54:05 ◼   ► that a consumer would you yes it's [TS]

00:54:08 ◼   ► absolutely the consumer uses not being [TS]

00:54:10 ◼   ► consumed by cause here's how it works [TS]

00:54:11 ◼   ► you've made a nap and I need to figure [TS]

00:54:12 ◼   ► out a way how to do what make money with [TS]

00:54:14 ◼   ► it yet so what you want to do is you [TS]

00:54:16 ◼   ► would have a way to drop in just a tiny [TS]

00:54:18 ◼   ► bit of code with that one easy [TS]

00:54:20 ◼   ► integration you can now have you can now [TS]

00:54:22 ◼   ► payments through what you got you got [TS]

00:54:23 ◼   ► paypal Apple pay right [TS]

00:54:25 ◼   ► bitcoin just so you saw me use Apple pay [TS]

00:54:27 ◼   ► today first time you've ever seen it i [TS]

00:54:28 ◼   ► did see you use Apple pay at the [TS]

00:54:29 ◼   ► walgreen Bitcoin venmo cards credit [TS]

00:54:32 ◼   ► cards and more always that one single [TS]

00:54:33 ◼   ► integration across all platforms [TS]

00:54:34 ◼   ► superior fraud protection customer [TS]

00:54:37 ◼   ► service and fast passed on my eyes are [TS]

00:54:40 ◼   ► literally salivating right now I can see [TS]

00:54:42 ◼   ► you can see their movie series fast i'm [TS]

00:54:44 ◼   ► extremely uncomfortable with this but I [TS]

00:54:45 ◼   ► have to continue because it's so [TS]

00:54:46 ◼   ► important for you to know that you can [TS]

00:54:47 ◼   ► learn more and get your first $50,000 [TS]

00:54:51 ◼   ► American and transactions be free by [TS]

00:54:53 ◼   ► going to braintree payments dot-com / [TS]

00:54:56 ◼   ► super trains you know that I didn't know [TS]

00:54:58 ◼   ► and it and it's a it's like a [TS]

00:55:00 ◼   ► symptomatic of our age yes if that [TS]

00:55:03 ◼   ► $50,000 in payments to your app would be [TS]

00:55:07 ◼   ► considered a like lost leader for this [TS]

00:55:11 ◼   ► company i'm not here to tell Brandi what [TS]

00:55:12 ◼   ► their model is I know that they're there [TS]

00:55:14 ◼   ► a terrific company get the simple [TS]

00:55:15 ◼   ► integrations you can get ready to [TS]

00:55:17 ◼   ► receive those payments quickly and [TS]

00:55:18 ◼   ► here's the thing branches continuous [TS]

00:55:19 ◼   ► support that means fast payouts means [TS]

00:55:22 ◼   ► you'll be prepared as your company grows [TS]

00:55:23 ◼   ► from your first dollar in my case to [TS]

00:55:26 ◼   ► your billion-dollar in John's case you [TS]

00:55:28 ◼   ► find out more about this right now [TS]

00:55:29 ◼   ► please go and have a look at you know [TS]

00:55:30 ◼   ► what to say the truth [TS]

00:55:31 ◼   ► turns out off the record i work with [TS]

00:55:33 ◼   ► these folks in the past so what I've [TS]

00:55:34 ◼   ► been in visit with them very fantastic [TS]

00:55:36 ◼   ► group you know the the to my favorite [TS]

00:55:38 ◼   ► two words in the English language I [TS]

00:55:39 ◼   ► didn't realize it until you just said [TS]

00:55:40 ◼   ► you've asked to pay out fast payouts i [TS]

00:55:43 ◼   ► love fat [TS]

00:55:44 ◼   ► oh my gosh I'll I can't even tell you [TS]

00:55:45 ◼   ► what a difference it makes for fast path [TS]

00:55:47 ◼   ► when I was back in the day when I was [TS]

00:55:48 ◼   ► getting slow payout was literally this [TS]

00:55:50 ◼   ► class I was like I was like what the [TS]

00:55:52 ◼   ► what the what [TS]

00:55:53 ◼   ► yeah you know you're sending your [TS]

00:55:55 ◼   ► sending postcards to people you're [TS]

00:55:57 ◼   ► calling him on the telephone said hey [TS]

00:55:58 ◼   ► you know the guy over here you're taking [TS]

00:56:01 ◼   ► out ads on a blimp sand-like pay me full [TS]