0:00:00I'm Merlin night John how are you I'm
0:00:09doing great man how's it going pretty
0:00:11good tale me somethin John around uh
0:00:17let's see something John that you like
0:00:20and where I add some I made some coffee
0:00:24mhm and then that this is what will give
0:00:27you some sense of where I'm at I I
0:00:31looked in the refrigerator and there was
0:00:32some cream in there and I grabbed it and
0:00:36I knew that there were I knew that there
0:00:37was a variety of sort of suspect creams
0:00:40in the in the refrigerator
0:00:42yeah but it was also possible there's
0:00:44been a few people in and out of the
0:00:45house is also possible that somebody had
0:00:47bought a new cream a new container of
0:00:50cream eisenberg uncertainty cream
0:00:51yep and so I I grabbed the cream I
0:00:56looked at it I read the date and I said
0:00:59oh joon one it's almost june yeah right
0:01:02and I right on the corner and I put the
0:01:04cream in the coffee and then I you know
0:01:06was walking around sipping it and if
0:01:08there were some floaters but you know
0:01:09that what does come on i'm not a guy
0:01:12that's gonna throw a cup of coffee way
0:01:13just for a couple of floaters and then
0:01:16after about 10 minutes I had one of
0:01:20those sort of you know the slow delayed
0:01:22slit time release the oxycontin of
0:01:25thought where I was like jun 10
0:01:31it's almost august our God and then I
0:01:35went and looked at the looked at it
0:01:39again to confirm that it was june and i
0:01:41open it up and I smell the cream and it
0:01:43was it did not smell like spoiled milk
0:01:46it smelled kind of like pie
0:01:51it had moved into some other realm where
0:01:55it was or or or maybe it's that at that
0:01:57strange phenomenon where we're
0:01:59half-and-half doesn't spoil because it's
0:02:01like you can only get so spoiled
0:02:03yeah right it just means refrigerated
0:02:05but it becomes something else it go it
0:02:08turns into like it had like a state
0:02:10change state change that's right it
0:02:12becomes a particulate
0:02:13and and so you know what I i made the i
0:02:17made the executive decision as executive
0:02:19level decision to just go with it so I
0:02:23am I still have you know it because I
0:02:26drink my coffee out of a half-liter beer
0:02:28steins i'm sitting here with the with
0:02:31about a quarter of the leader of coffee
0:02:33and and um uh what I can only describe
0:02:36as April's cream and and we're that's
0:02:42that's how I'm starting today
0:02:43boom you just get power through it
0:02:45myself you know it's a little little
0:02:49little saltier it's a little bit you
0:02:51know it's got a little go pow
0:02:53I coffee yeah I shouldn't say this but
0:02:56my coffee apparatus at work at some
0:02:59point i guess the last year so stop
0:03:01working and I was drinking less coffee
0:03:03at work i would have helped bring it in
0:03:05a long story short i have a half and
0:03:09half in my refrigerator that expired in
0:03:11april 2014
0:03:13oh and here's my thought it got to be
0:03:16able scream 2015 but you know what it
0:03:20maybe this is back to like affections
0:03:21for your shirt
0:03:23i I didn't throw the guy out I want to
0:03:25see how long he can stick around as
0:03:27April screams like he's been April
0:03:29scream twice now I mean I don't know
0:03:31it's sort of like putting a relative in
0:03:33a home or something like well you know
0:03:34they're they're kinda stinky not very
0:03:36useful but you know you get affection
0:03:38let me ask you this have you considered
0:03:39the cow or cows that produced April
0:03:43scream where they are now
0:03:45yeah that makes me so sad when I watch a
0:03:47movie and I know the dogs dead you know
0:03:49boo from France Ubu sit he died in
0:03:52nineteen eighty-four really yeah but his
0:03:54legacy continues on the loose it
0:03:56good boy good dog oh man that is rough
0:03:59we got some new coffee technology at the
0:04:01house and I'm a mixed feelings about it
0:04:04uh how so well you know you know our
0:04:08house we have like two plugs in the
0:04:09house because it was built in 1904
0:04:13one-electron city was powered by gas in
0:04:151928 was powered by horses and and so we
0:04:19don't have a lot and we don't have a lot
0:04:20of counter space but my wife in her new
0:04:23job has become so taken with the keurig
0:04:25k-cup system
0:04:27oh it is a system isn't it yeah and I
0:04:30was kind of always just against because
0:04:32it seemed a little fancy to have a
0:04:33single let you know a piece of
0:04:35electronics is that big for doing one
0:04:37thing that takes up that much space but
0:04:39when it got one and takes up a lot of
0:04:41space but it's really good
0:04:43well as he was wrong though it makes a
0:04:46lot of waste like I just don't feel good
0:04:48about it but man it's a great cup of
0:04:50coffee in less than a minute
0:04:51it produces a ton of little used cups
0:04:55yeah but a you know what am I mean
0:04:58coffee problems is that I you know I was
0:05:02made aware several years ago a that
0:05:04coffee mold is not just the the major
0:05:09mold system that arrives on your coffee
0:05:13filter if you don't change it for two
0:05:15weeks
0:05:15mmm coffee mold is something that is
0:05:18that's present in it can be present in
0:05:22your coffee without you knowing about it
0:05:25like if it's like old beans or ground
0:05:28along i ride old beans or be a grind
0:05:31that's been sitting around coffee mold
0:05:32becomes becomes a presence and you're
0:05:38just sort of not you're not conscious of
0:05:41it but talk coffee mold is potentially
0:05:43bad for you could be toxic who knows but
0:05:47I am I'm always fighting a losing losing
0:05:50battle up over coffee mold because i
0:05:54don't i don't have a regular or
0:05:57predictable routine
0:06:00obviously this is reflected in your
0:06:01April scream exactly i mean you know it
0:06:04seems like you would have gone through
0:06:06that is like a half gallon or quart what
0:06:09is it will see what so here's what
0:06:11happens with the cream right there at
0:06:13April's cream sometime in June was
0:06:18determined by some one else who was
0:06:22cycling through my home to be too old
0:06:27because meet different people have
0:06:28different ideas about how old cream
0:06:31should be yeah and if it says expo
0:06:33expiration date jun 1 and it's June
0:06:37fifteenth well
0:06:39up certain slice of the population will
0:06:42go ahead and get another one right that
0:06:44see this is how they get you John this
0:06:46is a used to put expiration dates on
0:06:48things and it was an expiration date and
0:06:50you would say you you gotta eat the
0:06:52salami by december and like that was
0:06:55something we could all understand i
0:06:56think the sell-by date is all about the
0:06:58people who are selling its their
0:06:59convenience to head out on their sell it
0:07:02by right right but I am somebody who is
0:07:05who sees a sell-by date of june one on
0:07:08june fifteenth and I feel like right
0:07:10where right you know we're right in
0:07:11right in the strike zone here
0:07:14yeah but you know I I'm not in one
0:07:18hundred percent control my environment
0:07:20anymore huh
0:07:22so another cream appeared in my
0:07:26refrigerator and and frankly it was a it
0:07:28was a bigger cream and a newer cream and
0:07:32it coincided with the time that I was
0:07:34out of town so when i arrived back in
0:07:37town here's this big new cream
0:07:40look you know April's cream is is back
0:07:43in there somewhere with the you know the
0:07:45half empty container of Greek yogurt and
0:07:47three or four different mustards and and
0:07:51a box of Armand Hammer baking soda
0:07:53that's been there since 2007 and I
0:07:56honestly you know I just reach for the
0:07:58front cream in that case you know like
0:08:01i'm not i'm not so I'm not so like
0:08:04managing my my refrigerator contents
0:08:08that I'm like listen I'm gonna work my
0:08:11way through april screen before i move
0:08:12into this June cream o.o understand I'm
0:08:16just reaching in grabbing the top cream
0:08:18first screen and April scream just got
0:08:22pushed back i think there's probably you
0:08:25know probably a mustard like migrated in
0:08:27front and then it was back to but the
0:08:29thing was I what I do manage my
0:08:30refrigerator well enough to know it was
0:08:32in there
0:08:33uh-huh I knew it was there I just wasn't
0:08:36you know it like kind of like you I
0:08:38wasn't it at any point along the way was
0:08:40I ready to say like you know it's time
0:08:42to go in and and do the humane thing and
0:08:46have April screams go live on a farm
0:08:48and so here's what happened right you
0:08:52know the the main creams of which there
0:08:55have been for probably since then for
0:08:58forefront creams all got cycled through
0:09:01and then one day April scream just
0:09:03popped up
0:09:05I don't know how she did it she just you
0:09:08know there was some kind of refrigerator
0:09:10machination the mustard let their guard
0:09:13down for a second april' scream came to
0:09:15the fore and masqueraded as a new cream
0:09:18huh and now here I am and I don't know
0:09:21what's going to happen if i drink this
0:09:25cream today I don't know you know this
0:09:28is also the top of this is also the
0:09:29beginning a blackberry season here huh
0:09:32and so as you as you probably know
0:09:34blackberries please grow in abundance it
0:09:37precisely in all those areas where the
0:09:40pollution is the highest i didn't know
0:09:42that well it just seems like the only
0:09:43the the places where people let
0:09:45blackberries run riot are right next to
0:09:49the freeway right next to the you know
0:09:51right next to the train switching yard
0:09:54right next to the where they dump the
0:09:56unusable of gas and so you know you're
0:10:03always kind of out there in this out
0:10:04there on this you pull over to the side
0:10:06of the road you're gathering
0:10:06blackberries and you're having a
0:10:08wonderful time but you're conscious that
0:10:10they are covered with if they're all
0:10:11covered with the film
0:10:13uh-huh ok kind of environmental dander
0:10:15mm-hmm
0:10:17so you know I've been scarfing
0:10:19blackberries 2i x by this afternoon i
0:10:23could be in the hospital
0:10:24oh good hey I wasn't gonna say anything
0:10:27but the the tale that you're weaving
0:10:30here involves people scream you've got
0:10:33you've got coffee dander you got the
0:10:34coffee mold that has performance
0:10:35characteristics i don't think we've even
0:10:37begun to identify that's right that's
0:10:38right it could I could see through time
0:10:40if i have enough coffee mold iic now as
0:10:45soon as I hear about a new kind of
0:10:46dancer the first thing I think about is
0:10:47the toxic plasmosis
0:10:49mm ok more was the cat poop thing it's
0:10:52thing that makes people crazy
0:10:53sure you can't you you might remember
0:10:55when there was a child on the way you
0:10:57start reading lots of things that say be
0:10:58careful with the cats because you get
0:11:00toxoplasmosis that's really bad
0:11:01for babies that are in their mommy's
0:11:03tummy yeah we sent the cats to live with
0:11:05Aunt Martha when the baby was coming so
0:11:07you're not you're not above making a
0:11:09hard decision if you know that there's
0:11:11that there's a risk my daughters
0:11:13Mother's cats were the two most awful
0:11:16people I had ever met in my life
0:11:18they were one of them at some point as a
0:11:22young cat had some cognitive disconnect
0:11:26where the cat did not understand what
0:11:29hissing the role that hissing performed
0:11:32in a normal sort of social milia
0:11:36interesting it's a domestic cat it
0:11:39doesn't know all the signals uh either
0:11:41of being a wildcat or being a
0:11:43domesticated cat might have crossed
0:11:44wires
0:11:45yeah right so the cat I feel like enjoy
0:11:48it personally enjoy kissing but hissed
0:11:52at inappropriate times fists at people
0:11:56that knew well pissed at you know like
0:12:00came to you to be petted you pet you pat
0:12:03it you petted it and then it hit you and
0:12:08then it remained there to be petted more
0:12:10so it sounds like half the women I date
0:12:13in college hmm but uh but not only that
0:12:22but the cat had a you know when it's
0:12:24hissing it is it is propelling whiskers
0:12:28breath at you yeah you know so it's just
0:12:31it's hissing right in your face and it's
0:12:32just like the word the inside of this
0:12:34it's like inside of a cat smell yet on
0:12:38this thing that thing's not flossing
0:12:40look
0:12:41yeah so that cat was really bad and then
0:12:43the other cat I think suffered from
0:12:45Kitty malaise all I had a kind of
0:12:49feeling on we did it feel light on
0:12:51what's so sad John and so that cat
0:12:54didn't really care for itself didn't
0:12:57have a very high self esteem it didn't
0:12:59keep itself up and so the combination of
0:13:02these two cats are you know I was just
0:13:04like listen these catch
0:13:06I mean talk about go live on a farm
0:13:07these cats should go live in the sea
0:13:10and how she attached to them
0:13:13well you know people get attached to me
0:13:16that's probably the toxoplasmosis it
0:13:17gets into your brain
0:13:19yeah well I feel like that's absolutely
0:13:21true because there was you know there
0:13:24was just cat garbage in the air but also
0:13:28you know there's a little bit of
0:13:29Stockholm Syndrome happening there where
0:13:32you are held captive by these monsters
0:13:35and then you start to feel sympathetic
0:13:36to them huh yeah he's so nice to me
0:13:39yeah oh no he doesn't mean that he just
0:13:42blah i'm like the only only reason to
0:13:46keep a pet is that that pet is it is a
0:13:49companion and a friend to keep a pet who
0:13:53clearly wants to die is 22 no one favor
0:13:58and so but it turned out that Aunt
0:14:02Martha is a cat lover and was able to
0:14:09take these two cats and give them a
0:14:11happy life where the the the depressed
0:14:15cat started grooming itself again and
0:14:18the hissing cat I think lived on top of
0:14:21the refrigerator and was showered with
0:14:23love and at the end
0:14:25actually it was a it was a story where
0:14:27we're uh it had a happy ending we had a
0:14:32baby that did not suffer from
0:14:33toxoplasmosis and I never had to see
0:14:37those cats again there are numerous
0:14:41according to wikipedia notable cases of
0:14:43celebrities who have contracted
0:14:44toxoplasmosis tell me more gwyneth
0:14:47paltrow please check i don't see it here
0:14:49its sheep when she's right she's right
0:14:51in the sweet spot i would say winter
0:14:53thinking that we have seemed like yeah I
0:14:55I'm just glancing at this quickly I I
0:14:57don't want I don't want to get email
0:14:59about this i have heard it said it is
0:15:01said by some people
0:15:02turns out that this is what causes the
0:15:04big the cat lady thing because you know
0:15:05like there's a certain kind of like
0:15:06super interesting animals that can take
0:15:08over another animal and make you crazy
0:15:09stuff you know how you can get like a
0:15:11zombie and or something like that
0:15:13yeah supposedly the story goes out of
0:15:14this is exactly toxoplasmosis but part
0:15:17of the reason you become like somebody
0:15:19who has a lot of attractive cat dander
0:15:21in the house is that the toxoplasmosis
0:15:23is attacking someone
0:15:24of your brain that says hey it's okay
0:15:25for all this poop to make more
0:15:26toxoplasmosis and then you don't know it
0:15:29wow that's heavy was coming from inside
0:15:31the cat I see now i want to know how
0:15:33often when you say i don't want to get
0:15:35emails about this how often does that
0:15:36work
0:15:37I couldn't go like i can't say i guess
0:15:39uh I guess I want to email him i think
0:15:42people will talk to plasmosis will send
0:15:43a lot of emails i think that's a side
0:15:45effect of it
0:15:46this is super interesting there's 33
0:15:47prominent athletes that have had Arthur
0:15:49Ashe the late great Arthur Ashe had
0:15:51toxoplasmosis
0:15:52hmm he later he later you know he had
0:15:54the AIDS but he developed neurological
0:15:57problems from toxoplasmosis with your
0:15:59arm
0:15:59martina navratilova so it's a tennis
0:16:02player this tennis problem or it might
0:16:03be it might be Sebastian Coe remember
0:16:06the guy who had the had the Union Jack
0:16:07on shorts the right right right you
0:16:10already had it and some other people
0:16:11Prince Francois the count of claremont
0:16:14returns pretender to the throne of
0:16:15France
0:16:16well sure I was just exchanging letters
0:16:18with him the other day his disability
0:16:20caused him to be overlooked in the line
0:16:21of succession it's not a shame
0:16:22wow really are using ensure wasn't
0:16:25simplistic it sounds like it could have
0:16:27been something more severe enjoy your
0:16:29captain's crap but I I feel like that up
0:16:34we had cats growing up when I really and
0:16:39my mom allowed cats
0:16:40well here's the thing we loved cats but
0:16:44we were both allergic to cats and we
0:16:47didn't know because allergy detection
0:16:51technologies and allergy and the you
0:16:55know and the cult of allergy had not yet
0:16:57entered into the American consciousness
0:17:00and so the fact that i had a chronic
0:17:03cough and fatigue my whole childhood was
0:17:10never attributed to anything other than
0:17:12a sickness or I don't know what other
0:17:16playing other cultural reasons to think
0:17:19the children were broken inside
0:17:20yep you didn't need science there to pop
0:17:22it up yeah and so it turned out later
0:17:25that you know i was sleeping with a cat
0:17:27on my chest my entire young life and I
0:17:30was allergic to them so I
0:17:35this so we don't we don't keep them
0:17:37anymore but but you know we were we work
0:17:40at three and we enjoyed cats for some
0:17:43reason I don't know my dad like that my
0:17:45mom liked them cats were sort of always
0:17:50present and i had i have to say i had a
0:17:53couple of great cats will you do pretty
0:17:56recently had a secret cat you have a
0:17:57secret that you didn't talk about it but
0:17:59you had a cat that you loved yeah I
0:18:00didn't like your heart
0:18:01yeah he did he did he got hit by car so
0:18:05and that was that was Louis and then in
0:18:08the pantheon of great cats i have to say
0:18:11Guido was a great cat you know there
0:18:15were some there were some support
0:18:17quality cats in there to my dad thought
0:18:20that my dad thought puppy was a good cat
0:18:22I never really bonded with puppy and
0:18:24then puppy died and dad got puppy too
0:18:26and the puppy to was a pretty good
0:18:29pretty good Mouser oh nice but not a
0:18:33real like not a real good dude but not a
0:18:37very personable guy he had a lot hit he
0:18:39felt like he had a job to do
0:18:41tippy was a good cat flaky was a flaky
0:18:47cat and then all learning so much you
0:18:51know all the way back to mel mel one of
0:18:54the original great cats my mom and my
0:18:57mom and dad talked about a symbol
0:18:59Jacobian Tiffany Michelle their two cats
0:19:03from the sixties they talked about those
0:19:04cats until until my dad passed away it
0:19:07was good still sit around and talk about
0:19:08simple Jacoby and Tiffany Michelle the
0:19:10great names who would ride on the bat
0:19:13they would jump up on the back of my
0:19:14folks borzoi manouschka and ride around
0:19:19and their dog they would follow
0:19:21manouschka around the neighborhood like
0:19:23a like a little pack of elephants but
0:19:26enough listen enough about my family's
0:19:28cat history no cats now we are presently
0:19:31catless I just sent you a link in the in
0:19:35the robot we met a cat weekend before
0:19:39last and I don't think of myself as a
0:19:41cat person i'm not anti cat as much as
0:19:45it might sound like I am but I i under
0:19:47stand that as a not active pet person
0:19:50it's a big step to get an animal and
0:19:52bring it in the house yeah and look at
0:19:55that cat that's midget that is really an
0:19:59extraordinary face
0:20:00yeah it's got a little dirty tone and
0:20:03that is a Persian cat that had just been
0:20:05shaved except for its head and basically
0:20:08i was at these peoples house and I was
0:20:09kind of avoiding my family and I looked
0:20:11out the front window and I saw something
0:20:13that looked like a teacup lion up front
0:20:16it was so tiny and so cute and so weird
0:20:19and so looking like it was near death
0:20:20and i instantly bonded with midget who
0:20:24is you see in the caption i'm referring
0:20:26to here is the world's most interesting
0:20:27cat midget lets you hold her and she
0:20:31licks you because you can't put your
0:20:33tongue back in your mouth and he
0:20:34shouldn't girl electrical from but I I I
0:20:38didn't want to say this in front of my
0:20:39family but like I was like I want this
0:20:42cat likes you ever decide cuz these
0:20:44people had two dogs and three cats and I
0:20:46was like if you ever want to unload this
0:20:47cat you know let's talk
0:20:50yes so there are some potential
0:20:52high-level talks going on about maybe
0:20:55bring midget into our life is pretty old
0:20:57but look at that face
0:20:59it's a great face yeah it's a great face
0:21:01it's a very you know yeah it's over it's
0:21:04a it's over used to describe a creature
0:21:07like that as Muppet like but it is very
0:21:09Muppet like a hundred percent it looks
0:21:13like it's jim henson project
0:21:14yep yep yep it is something that they
0:21:16modeled Muppets after but i know that
0:21:18feeling of seeing a little creature and
0:21:21I want your cat and saying like oh this
0:21:24creature belongs with me because it's
0:21:27pretty cool first knowledge on
0:21:28everything you're describing you kind of
0:21:29want an animal and this exactly the kind
0:21:31of thing somebody who doesn't own pets
0:21:32would say excuse me companion on pets
0:21:34would say is is that is that it's
0:21:37pre-qualified like I know right I know
0:21:39this is a cool cat
0:21:41Yeah right right if you just use driving
0:21:43to trader joes and somebody's a free
0:21:44sign means you don't know what you're in
0:21:45for
0:21:46that's right get pretty idea what you're
0:21:48in for but you know but in this case
0:21:50this is a pre-qualified cool cat that
0:21:52likes to lick you how cute is that
0:21:55well and the the problem with a with
0:21:57cats for me is that
0:21:59you know the the kitten does not denote
0:22:04the cat haha oh oh my goodness if you
0:22:08know what I'm saying I oh I think that's
0:22:11true i think that's true it's a species
0:22:13beyond beyond that species i think
0:22:14that's the thing the kitchen does not
0:22:16denote the cat
0:22:17yeah and so I have seen a lot of cute
0:22:21kittens that became pretty uncute cats
0:22:25and I i would like if I'm going to look
0:22:29at a little face all the time and have
0:22:32that little face look up at me
0:22:34pleadingly one thing its whiskers and
0:22:39that little face greet me every morning
0:22:41I would like to like that face I do not
0:22:44want to face that that that I would not
0:22:49choose and when you choose a kitten
0:22:52you're like oh Babu and then turns into
0:22:56this sort of grotesquerie but it's like
0:23:00no you know what i mean like you you can
0:23:02there's nature and there's nurture let's
0:23:04be honest there's only so much you can
0:23:06do to make it to you know to make a cap
0:23:10that is destined to be a jerk into into
0:23:15a good a good pal you know it only when
0:23:18you get a kid
0:23:19there's a lot of biological stuff going
0:23:21on where you feel a certain you feel
0:23:23compelled to try and move things around
0:23:26your schedule to make sure it doesn't
0:23:27die
0:23:28yes like with a cat i don't i think for
0:23:30some people like that i know i would
0:23:32have to manufacture a lot there are
0:23:35points when I have to manufacture a lot
0:23:37of care not that not only sound uncaring
0:23:39I'm trying to be realistic
0:23:40it's like those idiots to go out and buy
0:23:42an Easter Bunny or a turtle or something
0:23:43have no idea what they're getting into
0:23:45you know what i mean that's that's the
0:23:46trouble ninja turtles have what they
0:23:49have they've got the they've got the
0:23:51well was stuff you get from a bad meat
0:23:54oh good for trichinosis know it's pork i
0:23:58think but you know if the one they get
0:23:59the Salmonella you get someone from a
0:24:01turtle
0:24:01I thought that was from chickens and
0:24:03eggs I could have a pet chicken i would
0:24:04enjoy these people these people also
0:24:06chickens and therefore chickens at the
0:24:08house that they did they sound like
0:24:09chicken owners
0:24:10hi I'm I do not
0:24:14I you know I had a cat after Lewis I
0:24:19tried to replace Luis with another cat
0:24:22and all these cats you know they come to
0:24:25me you know by hook or by crook I don't
0:24:29know it's not like I go to the pound and
0:24:31choose cats but like cats show up and I
0:24:34and a second cat arrived and i think it
0:24:37was that somebody was trying to somebody
0:24:39was trying to make my my pain over Lewis
0:24:42go away
0:24:43ok and so this second cat arrived and
0:24:47the second cat was ok but I think had
0:24:53been weaned too early or incorrectly you
0:24:58know you can be weaned incorrectly I
0:25:00mean people like that all the time just
0:25:02got torn away little too just like clip
0:25:04hey i was using that wait a minute
0:25:08and so this catches didn't you know and
0:25:13and overtime my good friend Eric course
0:25:17and bass player the long winters would
0:25:20come around in the and eric and the cat
0:25:22had a good rapport and then I was going
0:25:25out of town as I care if you want to
0:25:26watch the cat he was like yeah and then
0:25:29I just never went back and got the cat
0:25:31that sounds like that sounds like a nice
0:25:33nice way for that and out
0:25:35yeah and I think Eric and the cat still
0:25:37have a good relationship and and our
0:25:39clothes and and I never have to see the
0:25:42cat and and we had everybody wins
0:25:45but I mean I lived with that cat for for
0:25:48a year maybe
0:25:49Wow with no with a never really feel I
0:25:52mean we were sharing a space together
0:25:54but we were not sharing a place together
0:25:57oh yeah
0:26:03the rotten milk in my coffee is really
0:26:06it's really making me sentimental yeah
0:26:10well I who knows who knows what's
0:26:12causing that I remember a job I had one
0:26:14time hearing on Monday morning I i hear
0:26:17a a man scream down the hallway and we
0:26:21all gathered round because he was the
0:26:22least intelligent people working there
0:26:23and he got himself a fresh cup of coffee
0:26:26with some cream in it but he erroneously
0:26:28grabbed the coffee from friday that was
0:26:33on his desk
0:26:34no fridays coffee yet fridays coffee
0:26:36took a big slug of it and had fried ice
0:26:38cream in it and he was a sad little man
0:26:41oh it's been sitting on the counter the
0:26:42whole time yeah that's not even in the
0:26:44fridge that's bad
0:26:46blue did I ever tell you about the time
0:26:50I left a cup of coffee in the in the
0:26:53garden
0:26:54no I left a cup of coffee in the garden
0:26:56and I came back a couple of days later
0:26:59and a bird had fallen into it and I
0:27:06don't know how or why I don't know why
0:27:10she swallowed a fly but she died in my
0:27:16coffee cup was it wasn't a cup that you
0:27:19liked
0:27:19well i mean i still use the cup good get
0:27:23you later thank you you honor the bird
0:27:25but i had to you know on under the bird
0:27:28honor the bird story like what i did was
0:27:31i I washed out the cup and that was no
0:27:33easy thing I dumped the coffee I dumped
0:27:37the Moldy coffee bird in the yard waste
0:27:44maybe the compost i'm not sure which i'm
0:27:47not sure which been which of Seattle's
0:27:49many bins got the Moldy coffee bird but
0:27:53then I went in I gave it a give the cup
0:27:54of good scrub and then I put it back in
0:27:56rotation and now I swear to you I could
0:27:59not tell you which one it was I could be
0:28:00drinking out of it now
0:28:01yeah that's the dream mhm mhm butBut
0:28:05trying to picture what was happening in
0:28:06a bird's life was like huh look at that
0:28:09I wonder what that is i'm gonna go perch
0:28:12on the edges of that mug
0:28:14yeah and then like birds totally lose
0:28:16our footing how did the bird end up in
0:28:18the I don't know he had a little bit
0:28:21curious right drop down and then
0:28:23couldn't get out
0:28:25yeah whatever I was like a little bird I
0:28:28mean little enough to fall into a beer
0:28:30style you wouldn't want you just say I
0:28:31want to state the obvious but you would
0:28:33not want that to be a crow
0:28:35no it wasn't an eagle to drink got a
0:28:38pretty big cups but uh but not as a
0:28:41brother would fit in a cup but it's you
0:28:44know there are a few there are a few
0:28:45private tragedies that I've had
0:28:48involving things creatures over the
0:28:51years / / palma almost 50 years in may
0:28:56in American life over for me and a few
0:29:00of them have just have always remained
0:29:01private right there just there a few
0:29:02those few times when you come upon a you
0:29:05come upon a noble stag in the forest and
0:29:09you felt him with a handmade bow and
0:29:12arrow
0:29:13you never talk about those things with
0:29:15anyone else no I never got a chance to
0:29:17put his head in your lap no it's just
0:29:19it's just the thing that doesn't come up
0:29:20in conversation and if you're sitting at
0:29:21a party and somebody says have you ever
0:29:23felt this tag you just kind of don't
0:29:25answer
0:29:26look out the window and just sort of
0:29:28it's not a story that you want to tell
0:29:29we've we've had two recently deal with
0:29:32the the state of little things lately
0:29:36and it's hard it's hard
0:29:38my daughter found a a robin's egg and
0:29:41put it back in the nest about a month
0:29:42ago and she's really excited cause it
0:29:44still hasn't hatched
0:29:46haha oh and what she's saying you know
0:29:49she's like she's pretty sure it takes at
0:29:50least a month for an egg to hatch and I
0:29:51was like I you know what do you say we I
0:29:53mean you know you know she's if it was
0:29:56just any any egg in a nest i would say
0:29:59well you know there's probably fucking
0:30:00dead but like she has some ownership
0:30:02some investment in that it's a project
0:30:04she rescued
0:30:05yeah and then the other day we went to
0:30:08the garage to check the mail and there
0:30:10was a mouse in a glue trap struggling
0:30:12row
0:30:14yeah and I mean I i I'm I'm I don't mind
0:30:17seeing my sleep I did when I was a kid
0:30:19but a key and animals struggling in a
0:30:21glue trap to where it has flipped a foot
0:30:23from where the trap had been it was
0:30:25really tiny it was like maybe an inch
0:30:26and a half
0:30:27long and that's no good no not she's
0:30:29probably scarred but it's like what am I
0:30:31going to say it's either that or have a
0:30:32garage full of mice your pic yeah right
0:30:34one things you know things to die mean
0:30:36the thing with the egg I don't know
0:30:38where you guys are on the Santa Claus
0:30:39continuum but I think you just go up
0:30:42there in the night he grabbed that egg
0:30:43you get rid of it that was perfect
0:30:45burden that when she looks for you said
0:30:47like oh the bird has influenced I used
0:30:50to be really good at that I used to be
0:30:51good at like really basic
0:30:52sleight-of-hand to make her think things
0:30:54are magic this the Santa Claus continuum
0:30:56is tough right now because I i don't
0:30:59know i could feel I think we're at that
0:31:00age where at that age where she's
0:31:02probably got some pretty specific
0:31:04concerns
0:31:05it's probably been some dickhead at
0:31:07school that's already spoiled it for her
0:31:09there's always one but uh where do you
0:31:12stand on Santa if you even if you're
0:31:15comfortable saying um you know my i do
0:31:20not have a I don't have any political
0:31:21feelings about Santa and I don't have
0:31:25you know i don't have a stand on the
0:31:30Santa you don't have like a hum a
0:31:33moralistic stake in the ground about the
0:31:34consequences of Santa right like some
0:31:37people have very strong feelings about
0:31:38say they do they do and I don't you know
0:31:40i'm not i'm not here saying like I will
0:31:42never lie to my child I used to think
0:31:45that and if you say Santa is real then
0:31:48you're just setting them up for a
0:31:49lifetime of not trusting people like I
0:31:52understand that logic heading causing a
0:31:54child to be born does that even better
0:31:56exactly but like I don't have that stand
0:31:59but nor am I sitting on my like like my
0:32:04my gilded tortoise or my magic footstool
0:32:07and saying the magic of Santa and
0:32:11Christmas something that I wouldn't deny
0:32:12my child and I didn't you know that lab
0:32:15lab lab like yeah I guess the magic of
0:32:17Christmas sure
0:32:20thus far Santa to her is just one in a
0:32:28one-of-a palapa liave bearded men who
0:32:32wear all red because her father is one
0:32:36of those two you know like Slater jolly
0:32:38bearded guys in
0:32:40funny hats who i'm not even sure she
0:32:43maybe she has made entirely made the
0:32:45connection that Santa brings presents
0:32:49she said she doesn't talk about
0:32:51Christmas I mean honestly the other day
0:32:54she was walking around the house with a
0:32:55little Christmas present in her hand and
0:32:58by little I mean a size of a matchbox
0:32:59and I said where did you find that and
0:33:05she said it was over there on the dining
0:33:09room table with the Christmas
0:33:11decorations and I looked and on my
0:33:15dining room table there is still a an
0:33:18advent calendar a crash and a stuffed
0:33:22Santa Claus that apparently had a couple
0:33:25of small presence at his feet
0:33:27that's been there since Christmas it's
0:33:30been there the whole time and I just
0:33:32stopped seeing it with my eyes though
0:33:34because i had other things going on
0:33:39uh-huh and I was like hmm i'm not sure
0:33:42what I mean I'm pretty sure that that
0:33:46doesn't say amazing things about me as a
0:33:51as like a is like a at idea or a person
0:33:57who is living a particularly organized
0:33:59life and then I went over to the
0:34:00fireplace to make sure that the
0:34:01stockings were still hanging and they
0:34:03weren't but she found a present a
0:34:07Christmas present and was carrying it
0:34:09around and and and then she like
0:34:12attached it to a fork somehow and was
0:34:15calling it a piece of cake
0:34:16so she was off on her own thing but but
0:34:21I had I had a real moment of pause
0:34:22realizing that I've been looking at an
0:34:24advent calendar for six months and had
0:34:28just and it had just turned into another
0:34:30piece of another sort of little piece of
0:34:34flotsam I mean it's not a small thing
0:34:37it's nothing big
0:34:38now I know but like you get me thinking
0:34:40I just who will be so convenient if we
0:34:44could choose and fully understand our
0:34:47own forms of madness but then I guess
0:34:49that would be madness part part part of
0:34:50what makes it madness is we either don't
0:34:52know about it or don't understand
0:34:54and it was the madness that we think we
0:34:56know about are comfortable with and
0:34:57that's crazy enough but then the other
0:34:59stuff we were like hmm i wonder if I'm
0:35:01out of my mind
0:35:02mm and I I think that sometimes we're
0:35:05all and then look for some reason have
0:35:06you ever seen a movie called Synecdoche
0:35:07New York yes which I find a very
0:35:10effective movie but I talked about this
0:35:13and another show but like that movie had
0:35:15a huge impact on me because I realize
0:35:17like how much of what
0:35:18kayden it goes through in that movie I
0:35:21felt feels like something that I thought
0:35:23was peculiar to me of like suddenly
0:35:25going oh no that actually happened 10
0:35:27years ago and you're not exactly crazy
0:35:29don't exactly think that it's whatever
0:35:311996 now or something but you could
0:35:33easily go like I'm in my case like we
0:35:36are little diner down the street that
0:35:37you've been to they give out a little
0:35:39stick-on calendar
0:35:41you know those little calendars with a
0:35:42little tear off calendar yeah and i have
0:35:44one of those over my my clothing
0:35:46dressing area from 2012 and it didn't
0:35:50occur to me that like not only had I not
0:35:53taking this down since july two thousand
0:35:55twelve but I hadn't bothered to rip it
0:35:56off since something like August 2012
0:35:58mhm and just kept sitting there and then
0:36:00that started dogging me like what why
0:36:02why is this here why did I why am i not
0:36:04changing this why am i why is this still
0:36:06here and why has it not bothered me
0:36:08until three years later
0:36:10why did you notice it three years later
0:36:12I mean if I i have to say like if that
0:36:15little Christmas present hadn't gotten
0:36:16repurposed as a piece of cake
0:36:18yeah I'm not sure whether I would have
0:36:20noticed these Christmas decorations
0:36:21until it was time to decorate for
0:36:23Christmas and I was like oh look look we
0:36:27already have a little still life here
0:36:28that's been here the entire time you got
0:36:31a little nativity just sitting there huh
0:36:33yeah Don crash my wife cause a crash
0:36:35yeah I mean it's not I mean know what
0:36:39what what what Christmas decorations are
0:36:42to me I guess is like another it's
0:36:46another couple of bins of sentimental
0:36:49sentimental jetsam stuff that I've
0:36:53looked at my whole life that I go like I
0:36:55remember when that advent calendar
0:36:58really mattered to me and every day I
0:37:02couldn't wait to open another little
0:37:04door
0:37:04uh-huh in the in the
0:37:06endless march to christmas i was like
0:37:10the longest month ever just like oh it
0:37:13is the 14th are you kidding me come on
0:37:15and you open the little door and there's
0:37:17a little you know and it's a advent
0:37:19calendar from Germany that was made in
0:37:221954 and so there's a little boy and
0:37:25later hosen behind the door and he's you
0:37:28know and he's holding up sugar plum you
0:37:31go
0:37:32I don't know what any of these I don't
0:37:33know what any of this imagery means and
0:37:35I don't know why germany in the fifties
0:37:38so completely colonized my childhood
0:37:42Christmas right like I knew the lyrics
0:37:45to o Tannenbaum and never understood
0:37:48never it made the connection that that
0:37:51was the same song as o Christmas tree
0:37:52alright same school why did the Germans
0:37:55have such a lock on on on Christmas
0:37:58particularly post-war Germany where
0:38:01would you know made in west germany
0:38:02that's what that says Christmas to me
0:38:04made in west germany feels more
0:38:06authentic it very much does right to
0:38:09feel the old country so i don't know
0:38:13so but but in in terms of like Santa and
0:38:16the tree and the and the business and
0:38:19whether or not whether or not we say
0:38:21like Santa's coming down the chimney so
0:38:24get in your room like I I honestly have
0:38:27not picked aside and I feel like I feel
0:38:31like not picking aside um my daughter is
0:38:34already knows that I am pretty
0:38:37half-hearted about most American
0:38:42traditions most you know like just most
0:38:45sort of like holidays like a big
0:38:47celebrator of holidays not at all
0:38:49yeah I feel bad about on the same way so
0:38:51it's like here comes easter boy we had
0:38:54some eggs you don't feel compelled like
0:38:56we just had what we had the fourth of
0:38:57July before that we had excuse me
0:38:59Independence Day couple months ago we
0:39:01had memorial day you know November
0:39:03veterans day and it's like I i don't i
0:39:06don't feel compelled to explain those
0:39:08distinctions and why they're special
0:39:10it's really mostly a day off and I feel
0:39:12bad about that
0:39:13well yeah and I mean it's a good way to
0:39:16mark your your your progress
0:39:19a year so it's already the fourth of
0:39:23July well let's go
0:39:25hey but I'm you know wow
0:39:29when when when that when we were before
0:39:33before the baby was born all the
0:39:36conversations that we had with
0:39:37pediatricians and with with the all the
0:39:40books that we read about how to raise a
0:39:42baby you know he you know there's a baby
0:39:45on the way and so everybody runs to the
0:39:46library and gets all the how to raise a
0:39:48baby books you study them and they're
0:39:51all contradictory and and none of them
0:39:53make sense really and and some of them
0:39:58make it seem like this is a matter of
0:40:01desperate importance and some of them
0:40:03make it seem like oh it'll be fine but
0:40:07they all they all kind of agreed and
0:40:09people lectured me a lot about routine
0:40:11children love routine they want they
0:40:14want routine they want the same things
0:40:16at the same time and that gives them
0:40:17that gives them a feeling of safety and
0:40:20it you know it makes them feel secure
0:40:21and that is kind of the nurturing life
0:40:24that they need to grow up to be
0:40:27productive and healthy members of the
0:40:31banking community and i remember reading
0:40:36those books and talking to those
0:40:37pediatricians and saying I do not have
0:40:39any kind of routine or any capability of
0:40:42maintaining a routine so i have two
0:40:47choices i can either accept your framing
0:40:51in which case I'm i already fear for my
0:40:56unborn child's future
0:40:59almost almost seems not to put too fine
0:41:01a point on it almost seems doomed doomed
0:41:03right side it's something you've if it's
0:41:05something that you've got to learn from
0:41:06scratch it's gonna be pretty tough to do
0:41:08on a day-to-day basis
0:41:09yeah right i have never I mean some
0:41:12weeks i make coffee every morning some
0:41:14weeks the coffee mold takes over the
0:41:17entire like northeast corner of the
0:41:19house and and I don't have a it's
0:41:23inexplicable to me why that's true and
0:41:26you know i have tried to take vitamins
0:41:29and I have made it
0:41:3110 days before I just stopped taking
0:41:35vitamins i just stopped remembering them
0:41:38i did the seven-minute workout for about
0:41:42I would I would go as far as to say 14
0:41:44days I did the seven-minute workout
0:41:46before one day I didn't and that was it
0:41:49and that was the end didn't just bounce
0:41:51back the next day I just was just like
0:41:53oh oh I missed a day
0:41:55let's get back on the train like I have
0:41:57never successfully gotten back on the
0:41:59train I get off the train
0:42:01often in the woods and then I'm
0:42:04bushwhackin again and that's my natural
0:42:06state so it what I chose to do was
0:42:09refused to accept the idea that a child
0:42:14without a child will refuse to accept
0:42:17the idea that a child needs routine and
0:42:21instead like found maybe it like a
0:42:24different a different layer of routine
0:42:31yeah i mean like that's like I see her
0:42:33every day like that is our routine it's
0:42:36you know that I'm sorry I don't mean to
0:42:37be going off here but like first of all
0:42:40there's a lot of great stuff in books
0:42:42there's a lot of great advice that
0:42:42exists in the world
0:42:44the trouble is that the advice that you
0:42:45get from people who are professionals
0:42:48and people who are professionals
0:42:49i think is mostly advice that is
0:42:51tendered to make you think better of
0:42:53them and to make them feel good about
0:42:55the decisions they've made whether or
0:42:57not they're particularly great but
0:42:58whatever version they tell you of their
0:43:00life which is usually put down the most
0:43:01strict possible way like it's always
0:43:03going to be this way and that's how I've
0:43:05had such success like that's the and
0:43:08then you get books and the thing is for
0:43:09a book to be a book it has to have a big
0:43:12point and then driving home all the time
0:43:13and say there's going to be a
0:43:15catastrophe if you don't do it this way
0:43:16all the time which which is very
0:43:19unrealistic and cause you just want to
0:43:21go and read more books you know if
0:43:23you're susceptible that kind of thing so
0:43:24I mean I don't have a super strong
0:43:26position on like how that shakes out to
0:43:28success or not but i dunno i feel that
0:43:30pressure of like you know any of these
0:43:32dumb books that have you know as a
0:43:34branding or marketing point have this
0:43:36here's the one big thing that you need
0:43:37to know in your case like it's like talk
0:43:39so Kat plasmosis
0:43:41yeah but in self-help books how's that
0:43:45you have a plant the little uh they
0:43:47plant a little seed they kept a little
0:43:50seed wear something more books
0:43:51yeah and like I don't know maybe I'm
0:43:53just as dumb as i seem but like I think
0:43:57I think there's a distinction to be made
0:43:59to was the phrase you used than a
0:44:02hammock banana mhm
0:44:04well there's a difference between like
0:44:07was aboard you use it to describe what
0:44:08you're never gonna have a routine
0:44:10routine like I think there's a diff
0:44:13there can be important differences
0:44:14between a routine and between
0:44:17consistency
0:44:19okay i think because here's the problem
0:44:22and I think this gets to something that
0:44:24people don't like talking about which is
0:44:25that people like to think that if they
0:44:28buy into a system and then do it doggy
0:44:31Glee I eat everything will probably turn
0:44:33out fine and even if it doesn't there's
0:44:35probably a reason that can be fixed
0:44:37because i want to do is go back to the
0:44:38book and read it and like I think what
0:44:40they're avoiding is the fact that you're
0:44:41kind of a little fucked all the time
0:44:42when you're a parent you're always
0:44:44behind you're always you're always not
0:44:46doing as much as you could and there is
0:44:48a very natural inclination to feel like
0:44:49wow I'm really not well suited for this
0:44:52and so you know do you believe that or
0:44:55not but like I think the the angle to
0:44:57add to that that's important is that
0:44:58when you think about routine vs
0:44:59consistency like okay if you got a
0:45:01routine that you're constantly stressing
0:45:03over and that you're making your child
0:45:05feel like where everything is a constant
0:45:07potential catastrophe because you're not
0:45:08at the bus at 90 5am like I my concern
0:45:12there is that if you can do that routine
0:45:14and be consistent and everybody's pretty
0:45:16content with that routine that's a good
0:45:18thing i think the problem is if you try
0:45:20to instill something in your kid that
0:45:22you don't basically have in yourself
0:45:24you're setting up a lot of potential a
0:45:26lot of potential disasters
0:45:28whereas if you're consistent like here's
0:45:30what you can consistently expect out of
0:45:31me
0:45:32interactive attitude and comportment and
0:45:34how things importantly how things good
0:45:36how I how I am when things don't go well
0:45:38like that's what I want to get good at
0:45:40what i want to get good at is being like
0:45:41the person who handles that stuff in
0:45:43stride well one right before right
0:45:47before she was born
0:45:48we decided that that we needed a wagon a
0:45:55uh-uh
0:45:56a car automotive wagon yeah because you
0:45:59got to carry the you know inner tubes
0:46:01and stuff or whatever it is that you do
0:46:02when you're a parent and so we drove
0:46:04over to mercer island which is the kind
0:46:05of upscale neighborhood because somebody
0:46:07was selling a passat wagon and we
0:46:11arrived at the house which was a nice
0:46:12sort of house out in the woods of mercer
0:46:15island and there was a family their mom
0:46:19and dad yo you know our age and they had
0:46:22to toddler age kids 1412 I think and a
0:46:28brand-new baby that was like one day old
0:46:32and they were selling their prasad
0:46:35because with the arrival of the third
0:46:38kid they now had you gonna upgrade
0:46:40yeah they now we're at suburban level of
0:46:42a of card need and so they were getting
0:46:47ready to get rid of the little car which
0:46:49was going to be the big car for our
0:46:52little family of one baby on the way and
0:46:57so we were sitting around and we like to
0:46:59the mother very much we're chatting and
0:47:00like the dad and the kids are running
0:47:02around and and the and we were
0:47:06fascinated by this one day old baby like
0:47:09wow look at this because we were buying
0:47:11this car just a couple of days before
0:47:13our daughter was do it was like that's a
0:47:16brand new baby like our babies are about
0:47:18the same age they're gonna be the same
0:47:20age when this but our baby is born and
0:47:22wow look at it's right there and the
0:47:25baby was crying and fussing and we were
0:47:27like so are you know is it up all night
0:47:29or what's the story and the mother very
0:47:31confidently said well you know this
0:47:34weekend and and you know I took next
0:47:37week off from work so for the next week
0:47:40or so yeah we're going to be like up in
0:47:42the middle of the night and stuff but
0:47:43then the baby's gonna have to get on our
0:47:45schedule and we were both like woe and
0:47:50she just said it like so like yep and
0:47:53then the baby's gonna have to you know
0:47:54babes going to figure it out and it
0:47:57absolutely blew our minds we do you
0:47:59think it was realistic
0:48:01oh I mean she had two kids yeah she was
0:48:03always something and she had people over
0:48:05by a car that day after she had a kid
0:48:07yeah right i'm daniel that's the part
0:48:08that's really telling and she was run
0:48:10the show and I was just like this idea
0:48:13that a one week old baby is going to get
0:48:16on your schedule and you're not going to
0:48:18be a slave to it it's not going to wake
0:48:21you up in the middle of the night you're
0:48:22gonna wake it up in the middle of the
0:48:24night it was like profound you know and
0:48:28incompetent in contrast like the only
0:48:31thing my daughter knows for sure is that
0:48:34the first day of seventh grade we are
0:48:38driving to mexico in a stolen Jeep like
0:48:43that's the only thing that's the only
0:48:44thing on horizon the cheek account and
0:48:49you know and and and so far she seems
0:48:52you know she seems fine with it i'm not
0:48:54sure if she believed she will ever
0:48:55believe in Santa Claus or the Easter
0:48:56Bunny or even know what those things are
0:48:58important because she still hasn't seen
0:49:03a movie we watched a couple at at your
0:49:07recommendation and Hodgins
0:49:08recommendation we sat down and watched a
0:49:10couple of adventure times she's a little
0:49:13young for adventure time she is yeah and
0:49:15but i'm not i was wrong but really I was
0:49:19like oh my god I'm so happy
0:49:21what is going on in this mushroom trip
0:49:23of a cartoon is kind of know what you
0:49:24expect right
0:49:25no i really i really enjoyed it and I
0:49:27looked forward to the time when she was
0:49:29eight years old and wants to Delft back
0:49:31into adventure time and you know and and
0:49:35go through that world or whatever you
0:49:37were you watching it and if i'm
0:49:39understanding you're watching it too
0:49:40kind of like check it out to see if it
0:49:41might be something that your shower
0:49:43yeah i mean almost everything that she
0:49:46has ever seen on a screen has has sort
0:49:49of come about as a result of either
0:49:51going over to a friend's house where the
0:49:53friend is watching frozen for the 40th
0:49:56time and Marlowe will kind of sit next
0:49:59to her friend for a while and watch some
0:50:02portion of frozen but she gets you know
0:50:05she her attention can't stay on it you
0:50:09know like it will come to a song and
0:50:11then Marlo you shall want to get up and
0:50:13sing however or i will say I'm depriving
0:50:17my child of this rich culture our
0:50:23which it encyclopedia of video culture
0:50:26and and I'll and I'll start to feel bad
0:50:29and i'll say i need to show her some
0:50:31things on the on TV because there's so
0:50:38much wonderful stuff on TV and so you
0:50:43know that's how i introduced to mr
0:50:44Rogers and she likes mr. Rogers nice we
0:50:48watch some some like British children's
0:50:51television programs from the seventies
0:50:53just because we like hearing them talk
0:50:56usually they involve like like the main
0:51:00characters of a man made out of a button
0:51:02and up and a soup can because those were
0:51:06those were hard times in England and
0:51:09production values were very low so
0:51:12button moon is one which is is really
0:51:16like it's an amazing show i highly
0:51:18recommend it's just there's a narrators
0:51:20like here comes mr. spoon
0:51:23he's wearing a hat and it's a spoon with
0:51:26a with a like a UH played on its head
0:51:28was right there on the 10 and you're
0:51:30like wow I like that little while this
0:51:33show really i mean yes you they don't
0:51:36even bother concealing the fact that
0:51:38they are controlling all the characters
0:51:40with like popsicle sticks but then i'll
0:51:43say like let's try adventure time let's
0:51:45try powerpuff girls let's try we watched
0:51:48a Mary Poppins and in general she just
0:51:55um you know I told you we watch dumbo it
0:51:58was it traumatized us both
0:52:00yeah but in general it's not it's it's
0:52:03not a because i don't i don't have a lot
0:52:08of time watching stuff it's not it's not
0:52:13part of her culture either great she
0:52:15does like the ones that feeds into that
0:52:16kind of the consistency thing
0:52:18yeah right she we have decided that
0:52:20watching tap dancing videos is one of
0:52:22the things that we both enjoy and the
0:52:24other day we were what we're watching
0:52:26tap dancing videos and we came upon one
0:52:28where
0:52:29some tap guys and some Riverdance guys
0:52:33well we're having a tap off and boy I i
0:52:40think i could watch it again right now I
0:52:42love me a little river dance video who
0:52:44it was it was tapped guys and Riverdance
0:52:46guys and the tap guys had a at a man
0:52:49with a fedora and a saxophone and the
0:52:51Riverdance guys had a redditor haired
0:52:53girl with a violin and so they were like
0:52:56trading licks and treatment aplex I
0:53:00think everybody agreed that one of the
0:53:02american-style tap-dance guys was like a
0:53:07pretty tough to beat
0:53:08but the head Riverdance guy i don't know
0:53:10he had some of the agents grants guy i
0:53:14don't think so i think these were you
0:53:16know these were younger Riverdance guys
0:53:17huh was he knows young guy young guys
0:53:20giving each other a little bit of the
0:53:21old razzmatazz booze but uh but yes you
0:53:27can be good for things like that
0:53:28oh I mean you just tap dance videos mind
0:53:31watching watching for a thousand years
0:53:32get a little bit of Shirley Temple you
0:53:34get a little bit of a get a little bit
0:53:37of like a the cast from Fame you know
0:53:42get a slight a real slice of American
0:53:44history huh sounds like she's this is
0:53:47something she doesn't feel like she's
0:53:48missing anything
0:53:49oh no I mean I was always worried that
0:53:52that that she was going to come to me
0:53:54one day and just be like videos
0:53:58what have you been doing why have you
0:54:00been depriving me of these magical
0:54:02things and so the first few times I
0:54:04showed her videos
0:54:06I you know I was watching very carefully
0:54:08we're looking at our eyes to see if
0:54:10there was some and I mean obviously she
0:54:13was delighted by the moving pictures but
0:54:17there was there was there wasn't any
0:54:21moment where we're uh some switch was
0:54:26flipped wear this with thistle
0:54:30incredible world of a video production
0:54:36was you know did she never wanted to
0:54:39dive in it was always another
0:54:42in the course of a day like oh and then
0:54:44we'll watch that for 15 minutes and then
0:54:46we'll go you know and then we'll go pull
0:54:51of pedals off a flower whatever
0:54:53ok so so yeah I know but it still may
0:54:57happen you know she maybe she maybe
0:55:00seven years old before she decides if
0:55:02you know what it's probably going to be
0:55:03virtual reality
0:55:05well that's an interesting point she's
0:55:07gonna put a VR headset on and she be
0:55:08like wait a minute
0:55:09nooope I don't have to stand around this
0:55:12stupid world anymore i can go into this
0:55:14other world our friend adjuster kisa on
0:55:17the show we do has said in the past and
0:55:19stuff that makes me think that he's more
0:55:20in the nature versus nurture camp which
0:55:23I would never have thought myself to be
0:55:24in the camp of but the more i think
0:55:25about it the more I see evidence that
0:55:28that can tend to be true
0:55:30once you start looking for it put
0:55:31differently it's not so surprising that
0:55:34something that you both of the parents
0:55:37are really into become something the
0:55:39kids are really into em conversely so
0:55:43not just because the fortune star wars
0:55:44down their throat but conversely
0:55:46something that the parents just are not
0:55:47into for any variety of reasons could
0:55:50easily be something the kid is not that
0:55:52into so you're suggesting a based on my
0:55:56daughters Mother's proclivities that my
0:55:58daughter will spend many hours a day
0:56:00looking at bed bath and beyond catalogs
0:56:01for the rest of your life
0:56:03I look over my wife sometimes at night
0:56:06and see on the ipad she's like looking
0:56:08at a catalog sites
0:56:09my daughter loves catalogs yeah catalogs
0:56:11catalogs and like I mean youyou peer
0:56:15over someone's shoulder and you think
0:56:16like oh boy I'm gonna catch him catch
0:56:19him looking at something on the internet
0:56:20who's Tom and it is it's just like
0:56:24discount per sites
0:56:26yeah it's like wow I mean I you know I
0:56:29have a luggage fetish myself
0:56:31yep yep and if you look over my shoulder
0:56:33you will catch me on some discount per
0:56:35site so I'm not I'm not casting
0:56:38aspersions and well in that case i mean
0:56:40i think that the point there's the thing
0:56:43that I feel like I think my wife would
0:56:44agree that we post struggle with this a
0:56:45little bit is we talk about things like
0:56:47the screen time thing is that we both
0:56:48really liked looking at ipads we both
0:56:51really like you know watching top chef
0:56:53at night or something like that and so
0:56:56and so you know like in the case of like
0:56:58last night we had a marathon gilmore
0:57:00girls night we don't like to get more
0:57:01girls which is a great show and we
0:57:03finished off season one we started
0:57:05season to my wife and I've seen all of
0:57:07them least the first six seasons three
0:57:09times so and my daughter loves it now
0:57:11she sings along on the song so amy is it
0:57:13surprising that like it's something we
0:57:15all enjoy doing and what you do it but
0:57:17then there's a long winter song and a
0:57:19couple of Gilmore Girls episode 0
0:57:20remember which which song
0:57:23no yeah be on the internet you on the OC
0:57:26to write a couple of times that's Chris
0:57:28supercool Maggie cause I respond respond
0:57:32to one of my to the other day that was
0:57:33kind of weird
0:57:33he's a nice man he seems like a very
0:57:35nice man yeah the times that you've
0:57:37introduced me to him he seems like a
0:57:38look at basically nice fellow
0:57:39yes so that's not surprising but then
0:57:43then now you're up against it because
0:57:45now
0:57:46yes we can have exactly one more gilmore
0:57:49girls and then we've already had a bath
0:57:50without dinner so it's definitely
0:57:51bedtime everyone will do you 20 minutes
0:57:53of reading we read you your 20 minutes
0:57:55like that's the thing we do
0:57:56yep and then and that's it but there's
0:57:59never been a time when the credits came
0:58:01up on anything that she was happy
0:58:02mm-hmm shot guess guess who else was
0:58:05exactly like that ma ma ma I want just
0:58:11one more just one more car to one more
0:58:13music video one more or but like who's
0:58:17to blame because we like that too
0:58:19yeah you know i'm just being straight-up
0:58:21I mean yeah but like I that's that's the
0:58:24thing
0:58:24so you know you might not have such a
0:58:26hard time getting her into the stolen
0:58:28Jeep in in seventh grade will wash out
0:58:34I you know I not to not to not to say
0:58:38that some version of this on every
0:58:40podcast but i was thinking about it the
0:58:41other day in the context of the campaign
0:58:45that I'm running that I you know I was
0:58:48asking around like did we have iphones
0:58:49for years ago we did what did they say i
0:58:54think a lot of people said said yes that
0:58:56they did I think I had 14 years ago yeah
0:58:58I think about you but definitely not
0:59:00eight years ago the iphone came out uh i
0:59:04think it was eight years ago came out
0:59:06eight years ago in
0:59:07june was with the streets right and so
0:59:10but you know but there was a pretty
0:59:12weird thing that the true believers
0:59:13bought but I think it got big like a
0:59:16year or two after that
0:59:17yeah and buried the 3g is the one where
0:59:19everybody went whoa i need one of these
0:59:20and i think my first one was a 3gs I
0:59:23think that's nice phone that was a good
0:59:25phone and said I mean that's that was a
0:59:26strong phone there was a strong phone
0:59:28and if i had never upgraded the
0:59:29operating system i would still be using
0:59:31it today st. sister but uh I realized
0:59:35that you know i already had screentime
0:59:38problems in the sense that i am I
0:59:42continue to be astonished at how much I
0:59:44how big a part of my life Twitter still
0:59:47is I don't understand it it was we never
0:59:52stop surprising you
0:59:53yeah we predict we predicted for years
0:59:55ago that it that that was over and it's
0:59:57not i still am I still look at all
0:59:57not i still am I still look at all
1:00:00time I look at my phone all the time but
1:00:02you know i'm running a political
1:00:04campaign and these are some of the first
1:00:08political campaigns that people have
1:00:09ever run where they were campaigning 24
1:00:12hours a day because their phone is right
1:00:15there and not there's no it's there's no
1:00:18time at which somebody can't either to
1:00:24something political at me or that I be
1:00:27asked to respond to an email or an issue
1:00:31its with me all the time and I think
1:00:34back to what it must have been like to
1:00:36run a campaign even 10 years ago when
1:00:40you had to go sit down at your desk and
1:00:43turn on your computer to read your
1:00:44emails let alone 20 years ago when you
1:00:50picked up the newspaper in the morning
1:00:51and read the headlines and then sat down
1:00:54at a phone and dialed people or you know
1:00:57waited for the phone to ring and what
1:01:01what that would have been like was that
1:01:04if the phone wasn't ringing and your
1:01:06name wasn't in the newspaper and you
1:01:07weren't out actively campaigning then
1:01:09you were off you know where you were
1:01:11sitting at a typewriter or something you
1:01:13you had some mental freedom from the
1:01:18process and what what has been
1:01:22characterizing my last three months is
1:01:23that is total involvement 24-hour day
1:01:26involvement in this thing that I'm doing
1:01:28which is which has taken every last
1:01:31shred of time always on call
1:01:34like you almost like it just there's
1:01:36never a time that you're probably
1:01:37comfortable not picking up the phone to
1:01:39see what that was right well I'm you
1:01:42know last night in the middle of the
1:01:43night somebody from some washington
1:01:46state bicycle advocacy group found a
1:01:50video of me very early on in the
1:01:53campaign when somebody at a forum asked
1:01:56a question where do you stand on bicycle
1:01:58license plates and i said and i honestly
1:02:04pictured myself on my schwinn stingray
1:02:06with a little license plate that said
1:02:10John
1:02:11Washington that was held onto the back
1:02:14of my bicycle with to twist times the
1:02:17depth of your analysis for this ad hoc
1:02:19I'm just thinking this in my head and I
1:02:21was like I support bicycle licenses and
1:02:24I look around and every other candidate
1:02:26on the on the forum is holding up a sign
1:02:29that says no and I'm like why not why
1:02:33wouldn't you put license plates are
1:02:34bicycles and the room is like boom and I
1:02:39realized very quickly I look out in the
1:02:41room and a couple of my supporters are
1:02:42like shaking their heads vigorously back
1:02:44and forth i realized that it is some
1:02:47kind of test that people that hate bikes
1:02:51and I don't even I can't even believe
1:02:54that there are people that hate bikes
1:02:56but they feel like bikes are a problem
1:02:58they want to know so that dog whistles
1:03:01for both sides
1:03:02yeah the way where you come out on this
1:03:03is I get it so that that's a pretty
1:03:07simple question to answer you don't feel
1:03:09yourself you know it's a trap like
1:03:10you're walking into this thing where
1:03:12like if how you answer that is going to
1:03:14have a big impact on how two groups look
1:03:16at you yeah right like oh if he wants
1:03:18bicycle license plates then he hates
1:03:20bicycles and it's like really I it
1:03:25wasn't it was a new idea to me that
1:03:26anybody hated bicycles but so somebody
1:03:30some like Washington bicycle club
1:03:34advocate in the middle of the night last
1:03:36night finds the video somewhere and you
1:03:42know caps it and start treating me
1:03:45really John Roderick do you really think
1:03:48that bicycles are the you know and I was
1:03:51just like yeah well i was just on
1:03:53Twitter just just reading some reading
1:03:56some eugene mirman tweets and now i'm
1:03:59like in a fist fight with somebody who
1:04:02is mad at me about something that I you
1:04:06know and I wrote immediately I was like
1:04:07I got that totally wrong I didn't know
1:04:09what that meant right it's it to quote
1:04:11John Lennon and now it's all this I
1:04:13didn't yeah I don't like the way we made
1:04:15this time is dumb remark about Jesus
1:04:17that was not really meant to say that we
1:04:19are better than jesus i made this remark
1:04:21and now it's all this
1:04:22yeah yeah and now it's all this
1:04:24and so then the but you know when
1:04:26somebody says like I was wrong when I
1:04:29said that um there's nothing you can do
1:04:34except like oh okay I get it
1:04:37and now i'm gonna send you 15 lecturing
1:04:40tweets about what you you know about
1:04:44what you should have known right and
1:04:45it's like I i understand i have educated
1:04:49myself sense then I you know I mean that
1:04:52has happened a lot in the i have said a
1:04:55lot of things on this podcast where I
1:04:56got a lot of pushback from our listeners
1:04:59and fans and then went and educated
1:05:01myself holy god I mean I can't even tell
1:05:03you how many times that's happened
1:05:05yeah and I I said little but the thing
1:05:06is here here's the part that did that
1:05:08people miss apprehend understandably is
1:05:11I didn't say I didn't say something dumb
1:05:13because I was trying to be offensive
1:05:15I said something dumb because i was
1:05:16being dumb right and like I can grow but
1:05:19now you have to go in public where like
1:05:21if you don't respond to that person it
1:05:22seems dismissive and if you do respond
1:05:24to that person you can arguing on the
1:05:25internet and you're just you're leaving
1:05:27this huge trail of 22 where we can go
1:05:29watch on servicing sensitive about this
1:05:30page yeah yeah and and then I mean I'm
1:05:34I'm very comfortable with the amount i
1:05:37have learned and the amount i've had had
1:05:40to grow up and and the role that
1:05:43pushback from our from our listeners and
1:05:46and super fans has has contributed to
1:05:49that but there's always going to be
1:05:52something that you can pull out
1:05:55I mean you know there's always gonna be
1:05:56something somebody can pull out from
1:05:57this podcast and say can these guys
1:05:59really can you really believe these guys
1:06:01and you know what a what can we do you
1:06:05know so it's a we were do we do it we do
1:06:09we do now it's all that now it's all
1:06:11this and it's like I you know and just
1:06:13just as I mean it kinda can't have one
1:06:16without the other way you can I want the
1:06:17other but any one of the rare ways in
1:06:20which i am becoming slightly more
1:06:21healthy as a person i think is that I it
1:06:25may not always show but i find myself
1:06:27much more forgiving of stuff stupid
1:06:31stuff I see happen
1:06:33how to remove yep really know like look
1:06:35stupid shit happens people do stupid
1:06:36stuff i mean it
1:06:37whatever I get why people pylon Donald
1:06:40Trump because he is a farcical character
1:06:42who clearly takes a certain amount of
1:06:44relish and I'm gonna use a word i almost
1:06:46never use people use it wrong people say
1:06:48trolling all the time when they mean
1:06:50teasing or baiting he's trolling people
1:06:52he's deliberately trying to say
1:06:54something extremely controversial
1:06:55because the more people talk about him
1:06:57the more real he seems so I mean it's
1:06:59setting setting that aside I mean it's
1:07:02just the I guess I feel like I I don't
1:07:05know it's too late to say this it's too
1:07:07late but like I i feel i feel pretty bad
1:07:11about a lot of dumb stuff I've said but
1:07:13you know I also realize that those words
1:07:16and they came out and I change and like
1:07:18I want to believe the other people with
1:07:19the same way to yeah yeah i agree just
1:07:21because of political correctness but
1:07:23because of growing as a person
1:07:24there's all kinds of stuff whether
1:07:25that's 40 years ago or a month ago
1:07:28there's all kinds of stuff that I don't
1:07:29just that it's not just that I'm not
1:07:30saying it because I don't wanna be
1:07:31offensive
1:07:32I'm not saying because i think it's not
1:07:33true and i realize that there's more to
1:07:34it than just those words right and I
1:07:36wish everybody got that same break
1:07:38well i think you know hopefully they
1:07:41will I mean there's there there are a
1:07:43lot of us that have grown a lot in the
1:07:45last few years and there there's a lot
1:07:47of people you know I mean you can only
1:07:50the only party to punish people so far
1:07:54before you have to sort of live with
1:07:56them again but you know what i do wanna
1:07:58hear more about the campaign if you have
1:07:59time but like here's another part of
1:08:02that is that you know you you must get
1:08:05this because i know i get this i
1:08:06actually I i get a surprisingly small
1:08:08amount of generally obnoxious stuff
1:08:10thrown at me I feel very fortunate but
1:08:12sometimes there will be you know what
1:08:15happens is like I'll say something or
1:08:17somebody heard I said something somebody
1:08:19else mentions that third hand they
1:08:21didn't hear the context and so of course
1:08:22now i'm hitler like that that happens
1:08:25whatever that you know I think that
1:08:26happens but i think part of it is the
1:08:28environment where like you described
1:08:32with the last week or the week before
1:08:33you describe being in a situation where
1:08:35like all the insiders and politics are
1:08:38interested in what you say but they're
1:08:40super interested in like who you hang
1:08:42out with because that's that's how we
1:08:43can really tell but basically I don't
1:08:46overstate this but basically implying
1:08:48that hey we're all just a bunch of liars
1:08:49on one level
1:08:50another haha and so I wonder part of it
1:08:53is people are so people understand how
1:08:56what's the word I'm looking for
1:08:59how how many demagogues are out there
1:09:02people who are artfully putting together
1:09:04a certain kinds of polemical and hurtful
1:09:11things by design because they know
1:09:13they're trying to reach a certain group
1:09:15there are other people who speak in a
1:09:17code that pretty much everybody knows
1:09:19right
1:09:20hmm i mean is is the Confederate battle
1:09:22flag really about heritage maybe you but
1:09:25it's not really it's kind of really
1:09:26about heritage that the Heritage easy
1:09:28used on black people like what we you
1:09:30know get past that like but like that is
1:09:33that something you can say that a coded
1:09:35statement you talk about you know urban
1:09:37urban people when you talk about all
1:09:39these things so i guess i want to get
1:09:40someone in your opinion on this because
1:09:41you're living it now is it like how much
1:09:43of that is just the rhetoric of being in
1:09:47public as a public person or maybe
1:09:49people are so accustomed to everybody
1:09:51out there having some brand that they're
1:09:54trying to portray and deliberately
1:09:56choosing the awful things that they say
1:09:58you think you're getting too hard with
1:09:59that you know how hard my use of the
1:10:01word tar the it's it's two things that
1:10:06and i think one of them politics is
1:10:08always a rhetorical place where where
1:10:11you're trying to catch the other guy
1:10:14with their pants down you're trying to
1:10:16trying to turn their words against them
1:10:20you know you think about think about
1:10:22politics all the way back it's it's one
1:10:26of the number one ways you run against
1:10:29somebody is to is to try and portray
1:10:34someone who is ultimately another person
1:10:38of good will who is trying to help other
1:10:40people by serving in the democratic
1:10:44process and you turn that person into a
1:10:48repository of everyone's fears and
1:10:51hatreds by like a heatsink you become
1:10:54like you know for that for your
1:10:55Orwellian moment of hate
1:10:57yeah the idea that you could Swift Boat
1:10:59John Kerry who
1:11:01do you know who went to Vietnam and
1:11:04fought nobly and that you could turn
1:11:09that against him and that his opponent
1:11:13would be a guy would be a rich kid who
1:11:16dodged service in Vietnam by joining the
1:11:21national guard and not even fulfilling
1:11:22his commitment but that he could be
1:11:26perceived as the better candidate
1:11:28because John Kerry you know in all on
1:11:31some River in Vietnam you miss reported
1:11:36that what what what his role in a battle
1:11:39was I mean that's just the that's just
1:11:43the political process and it's insane
1:11:45and it doesn't bear any relationship to
1:11:47reality and and it's unfortunate but
1:11:51it's real right and so there's that
1:11:54which you know which I can't do anything
1:11:59about and none of us can so you just
1:12:01have to accept the things you cannot
1:12:05change and have the courage to change
1:12:07the things you can
1:12:08the what makes it different now is that
1:12:12that rhetorical that rhetorical culture
1:12:17has expanded out into the world at large
1:12:21and normal people are sitting on the
1:12:26internet and using those same techniques
1:12:30to turn other normal people into the
1:12:35opposition or the enemy you know and and
1:12:38and like you say it is a we've spent a
1:12:42lot of time removing words from our
1:12:46lexicon but we haven't but removing
1:12:50those words hasn't successfully removed
1:12:51the underlying thoughts and prejudices
1:12:54it's almost like you
1:12:55it's almost like thinking that taking
1:12:57the book out the dictionary means people
1:12:59will understand what it means anymore
1:13:01yeah so now we have to decode what it
1:13:04means part that's the biggest problem
1:13:06yeah just David Duke can speak without
1:13:09using racial slurs but you know what he
1:13:12means
1:13:13and you know and evangelicals are always
1:13:16speaking to one another in kind of coded
1:13:18language so that you know that you're
1:13:19you know who you're dealing with it i
1:13:21mean there's all the family values
1:13:22yeah there are all these language codes
1:13:24now and so where we are we're forced to
1:13:28decode one another but that we're also
1:13:32applying this kind of political this
1:13:37political matrix to just what are normal
1:13:42conversation somebody goes online and
1:13:44says like I had a you know I met if I
1:13:47met somebody today she was so basic and
1:13:50then it's like wait a minutes you know
1:13:52using that is classes and all that you
1:13:55know an end and then that political
1:13:57attack comes and it takes the it takes
1:14:01the form of like i'm going to i'm i'm a
1:14:04i'm both going to try and educate this
1:14:06person but also discredit them and
1:14:09silence them and you know it's all that
1:14:11which comes from our political culture
1:14:13and now is just infiltrated our daily
1:14:16lives and so there's a lot of that
1:14:19coming from just daily life people back
1:14:23into politics right i mean i'm running
1:14:26and it's not just a super PAC that is
1:14:30going to Swift Boat me it's somebody
1:14:33that disagreed with something i said on
1:14:36the podcast and chose to interpret a
1:14:41certain way and then decides that
1:14:44independently they are going to be a
1:14:46flaming sword that alerts the world to
1:14:50the fact that i am a i'm a bad candidate
1:14:52in a bad man and then you know and so so
1:14:57yeah I i do feel i do feel that there's
1:15:02there's a lot more of that to come in my
1:15:03campaign there will be people that that
1:15:07that come out of the woodwork and say
1:15:12like
1:15:15I used to be a fan but then one time
1:15:18John Roderick didn't reply to my email
1:15:21fast enough right and then I realized
1:15:24that he was a narcissist and and and
1:15:29he's you know covered in white privilege
1:15:32and so I've made it my personal mission
1:15:34to destroy him and you know everybody's
1:15:38got the same resources now everybody's
1:15:40got access to the same communication
1:15:43channels it just you just keep lobbying
1:15:47dirt clods that somebody until one of
1:15:50them sticks you know and you don't you
1:15:52don't get any extra credit for not doing
1:15:53that right or do you mean personally 11
1:15:59that does not participate in that
1:16:00particular form of mudslinging is does
1:16:02you don't get credit for not doing that
1:16:04to you know i don't think so i don't
1:16:05think so i mean iíve said that I want
1:16:08to run a clean campaign and I get a lot
1:16:10of pressure from my own team to
1:16:13challenge my opponent on his record and
1:16:18when i do uh when I do I'm uh you know
1:16:28people that are fans of mine say I
1:16:30thought you were gonna run a clean
1:16:31campaign so you know uh there's a lot of
1:16:37there's a lot of time between a rock and
1:16:42a hard place I've got I've got people
1:16:44who think that me running a clean
1:16:46campaign means that i never say anything
1:16:48about my opponent except that I think
1:16:50he's a nice guy and I spend all my time
1:16:53I da ting up in the clouds and then my
1:16:57own staff is screaming at me to to get
1:17:05in the press and make it and
1:17:06differentiate myself from my opponent
1:17:08and you know you gotta do you gotta do
1:17:13both and I try not to be personal but
1:17:16ultimately ultimately the be the attacks
1:17:19against me probably aren't going to come
1:17:22from my opponent they're probably going
1:17:24to come from
1:17:25somebody on the internet somebody that
1:17:29you know that that is angry at me for
1:17:33for the way I talk and the way I am and
1:17:38the way I've lived and and has decided
1:17:41that it's their mission you know people
1:17:43have people have a have Crusades that
1:17:47will get them a lot less attention then
1:17:50going after me in public you know I mean
1:17:53that's a that's a real opportunity for
1:17:55somebody if they want to forget about
1:17:57what three more weeks three more weeks
1:18:00before the prime area who along three
1:18:03weeks huh boy I'll say that was weird
1:18:14kind of it