Ep. 161: "It's Ramifications!"
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[Music]
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hello hi John I'm Merlin how's it going
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good are you going I'm going I'm going
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big weekend early man
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Oh John rado red call patriotic version
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um yeah it was a big weekend a big nice
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big long hot weekend I was it hot up
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there I know it's very hot up here yet
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just set some kind of record for most
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days above 80 yeah where we're headed
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we're headed to a record of most days
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above 90 now that that's where we were
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that's what that's our target
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yeah it hasn't rained in in a long long
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time and it's a everybody you know the
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sociopaths love it
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course because because they're there had
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their lizard people and they they lay
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out on their hot rocks you get it they
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get to live this little fantasy of
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pretending they live somewhere else
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mmm i live somewhere different with son
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yeah yeah they just they absorb the
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life-giving rays of the Sun and the rest
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of us are just a cowering something I
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have has done on me slowly i think i may
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pick up slightly from you is that when
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you think about the the problems that
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different places have you know whether
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that's you know when it rains in Atlanta
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rains in san francisco when it snows in
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some sort doesn't snow and everybody
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laughs the point laughs but you know the
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problem is that you know you have your
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community set up a certain way your city
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if you like to accommodate what happens
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over eighty percent of the time
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mhm right and i don't know i think i
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have more subtle understanding of these
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things because I get now I get that that
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you know yet it's still kinda silly that
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literally no one in Florida can drive
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but but you know if you if you're not
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used to a certain kind of traffic and
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event happens it's a very infrastructure
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issue in some ways you can't suddenly
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ramp up to everybody having air
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conditioning because it's HOT for four
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that's right and no one here has air
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conditioning it's always been a point of
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personal pride for satellites no
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air-conditioning number
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Ella's those are two big co system-wide
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decision
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wow that everyone makes no umbrellas no
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air conditioning and and now the no
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air-conditioning thing is kind of
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starting to be a little bit of a problem
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for people you can't go you can't go two
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weeks with no break in the sun in July
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and and be just sit in front of your box
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fan and be like yeah I'm fine I'm fine I
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don't need an umbrella either
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well yeah I mean there's there's health
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issues I mean it seems like if I feel
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like this happens in Chicago a lot when
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there's heat ways you know ramifications
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for people like an old people who live
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alone and don't have air-conditioning or
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something like that there's there's real
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mistakes to it you know you know what
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you just hit on Merlin through its
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ramifications boom that's what we're
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talking about what he really said and
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it's all about ramifications you know
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what its ramifications and this is a
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thing that people don't people don't get
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we don't talk about ramifications enough
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write that down but uh but this is about
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ramifications and so many things are you
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know what i mean so many things are
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about ramifications really good point
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John yeah i think i think as principal
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people with a lot of fancy ideas we have
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a lot of nouns in our head about how the
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world works but when it comes down to it
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the real problem its ramifications
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that's right yeah yeah at the annual gay
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though the more the more you say it the
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more it really resonates with me
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ramifications its ramifications and you
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know it started really thinking with me
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to say just say it a few times and often
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it's almost like praying and
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capabilities start to you start to see
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the ramifications of it
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yeah you know it's true it's true
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because I you know and the thing is i
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don't know i think a lot about these
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things you know that's what we're you
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know actually I mentioned this recently
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somewhere else i think about like I have
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talked about this with you about like
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what by evil parenting style or any of
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the ways you conduct your life I used to
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think that I had a set of principles or
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values or any of these other lists of
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nouns that white men like to talk about
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I used to think that I had these things
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and then i willfully mindful e in a very
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muscular masculine way apply those to
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I started to realize that that list is
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easy to overlook when things are going
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the way that I want it when things don't
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go the way that I want right
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that's when I start wanting to start
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grabbing my big bag of nouns and
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slapping on two things going that's why
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this is wrong when really have to
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realize its ramifications there's
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ramifications that you know what i mean
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though i do people you know it's it's
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always the kind of like and I guess form
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of personal NIMBY where you're always
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putting other people who are doing it
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wrong on one does that and it's like you
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used to assume you're doing it right
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because you got this bag announced yeah
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I have more than ever before and no i am
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convinced that i am out that do not have
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special knowledge and i am not doing it
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haha you really feel that when I mean if
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you have time to sit and think and stew
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and steam and various other ways of
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mentally cooking yourself you you can
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really dig yourself in on how correct
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your idea about something is and then
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you might suddenly one might suddenly be
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exposed to several dozen people who not
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only disagree with how you steam vents
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dude but like you can they can actively
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demonstrable to show you how full of
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shit you are in a way that is incredibly
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humbling
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well there are two things in my
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immediate life here where I feel like I
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do have some special knowledge right now
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one of them and I get this may be a
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foreign world to you don't write it down
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but uh when I was first introduced to
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facebook the first thing that I felt
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about it was that it was a terrible name
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facebook I don't you know a lot of
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people don't like the word moist the I
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don't like the word face succulent
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there's nothing about the word face that
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I like and face
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remember remember in on golden pond when
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they describe kissing and sucking face
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and remember that okay yeah okay you add
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you had sucked face and it really brings
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out the nastiness of face as a teenager
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was you know so people sucking face well
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see it wasn't do it was the is the you
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the one of the one of the plot points of
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on golden pond was what Jane Fonda's son
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her obnoxious little blonde son or was
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yeah there was a young person in that
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film I haven't seen in a long time but I
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do remember i do remember the term
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sucking face ruined not only the movie
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for me but but i think that entire year
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of my life who and then so on facebook
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first came out I was like that's just
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like sucking face it face facebook i
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don't want you know like a rock face i
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like the face of the rock face i can get
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that's more dignified but a human face
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yeah or even a little animal face tho 10
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days I went into this having no problems
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faced yeah its ramifications now
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thinking about face
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well so yeah that's the thing like
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you're thinking about face you you took
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out eat
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you're not even using like it's just
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face now right i mean you're just saying
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it's like it's like the way they talk
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about police in the wire
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you don't even say the police anymore
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you just say it doesn't have an article
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you just say face just a police right
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and so Facebook anyway when it first
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came on i was at you know i had spent so
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much time worrying about who I was
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trending on myspace uh-huh that when
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Facebook came I was just like screw it
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i'm just going to friend everybody
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everybody that wants to be my friend can
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be my friend because i don't care i'm
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not here to curate anything i'm not
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trying to create a special place for my
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people my people aren't on here at all
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so the people that are on my facebook
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page are just whoever and so long time
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ago or some amount of time ago i arrived
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at the 5,000 friend mark which is the
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most you can have
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oh there's limit you can only have 5,000
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friends because somewhere in within
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Facebook they imagined themselves that
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they imagine their product has a correct
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use absolutely that's super interesting
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they do that's why they're so tied to
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the whole real name thing
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yeah because they're saying if this is
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real John rock there's no way an actual
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person has actual 5,000 friends side and
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setting aside the fact that you can go
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and like coca-cola on facebook right
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that's exactly right so they have an
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idea about the correct way to use their
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product and 5,000 friends they determine
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is the most that are normal human being
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could have it's obviously way more than
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a normal human being to adapt but still
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not as many as I mean if you want to
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have if you want to be my friend past
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5,000 then you're my fan right but over
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the years I have accepted a lot of
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friend requests from like as I say from
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whoever so record labels have friended
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me and a guy that owns a Pontiac
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dealership and you know there's a lot of
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stuff on there that I don't care about
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now my pc pontiac THX pontiac dealership
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but so I was like all this is you know
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this is a bummer because people keep
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friending me every every day and i cant
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i cannot conclude the transaction with
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your you're all out of the Bitcoin of
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human kindness that's right i cannot
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hand them my like my ace of spades and
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say you know 1st airborne was here right
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I cannot touch them with my my virtual
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fingertip you can't be can't palm your
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challenge coin i cannot show them my
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face and take their face into my
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collection of faces into my book of
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faces if you will and so and yet here's
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what i've discovered you ready yeah
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everyday some one to four people uh
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disappear from my facebook friendless
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everyday I'm allotted between 22 and
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five new opportunities to friend people
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or to accept friend requests
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and I don't know where the three to five
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people 25 people a day go
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they just decide I've had enough for
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their monitor their they are a they're
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in their own Facebook's really managing
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their account and they decide you know
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John Roderick he's just not i don't know
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he's just not working for me anymore
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whatever it is so every day I get the
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gratifying feeling of just the and I
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always go to the always go to the top of
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the line i always go to the head of the
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queue and I let to 25 people to 25 more
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people in and then take it you aren't
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you unclasp the velvet rope that's right
[TS]
00:11:34
◼
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and I say go outside please bring your
[TS]
00:11:36
◼
►
face to my book
[TS]
00:11:37
◼
►
yeah and so today it was whose jenn
[TS]
00:11:41
◼
►
louis and it was who is this person that
[TS]
00:11:47
◼
►
does the rilo kiley person I don't think
[TS]
00:11:50
◼
►
we were already friends huh
[TS]
00:11:52
◼
►
and then this next person has a has an
[TS]
00:11:55
◼
►
avatar that is a it's a furry it's a
[TS]
00:11:58
◼
►
it's a free raccoon to free face friend
[TS]
00:12:01
◼
►
a very friend so uh so that's exciting
[TS]
00:12:05
◼
►
so that's one thing that I want bad name
[TS]
00:12:07
◼
►
5,000 friend limit 5,000 friend limited
[TS]
00:12:10
◼
►
they have a sense of they have a sense
[TS]
00:12:12
◼
►
of what's of justice here and then the
[TS]
00:12:15
◼
►
other thing the other thing i know i'm
[TS]
00:12:16
◼
►
doing right i was walking along and I
[TS]
00:12:20
◼
►
saw an orange handle on the ground and a
[TS]
00:12:26
◼
►
what kind of handle you might ask who
[TS]
00:12:28
◼
►
it's like a broom handle but it's only
[TS]
00:12:32
◼
►
about 16 18 inches long let's say 18 and
[TS]
00:12:37
◼
►
lets it not quite two feet sort of like
[TS]
00:12:40
◼
►
the cap on a push broom
[TS]
00:12:41
◼
►
that's it is it's a push broom like
[TS]
00:12:45
◼
►
handle it has it is threaded on one end
[TS]
00:12:47
◼
►
and it's meant i think to go into a
[TS]
00:12:50
◼
►
squeegee over right it's like a window
[TS]
00:12:53
◼
►
washer tool it's unused it's not like
[TS]
00:12:57
◼
►
well no no it's been used
[TS]
00:13:00
◼
►
bright orange and I saw it on the ground
[TS]
00:13:03
◼
►
it and appeal to me I picked it up and
[TS]
00:13:07
◼
►
I've been carrying it around and it you
[TS]
00:13:10
◼
►
know it's exactly the right left that
[TS]
00:13:12
◼
►
you can kind of spin it between your
[TS]
00:13:14
◼
►
fingers you know it's like it's big it's
[TS]
00:13:17
◼
►
a stick right you could you could whack
[TS]
00:13:19
◼
►
somebody with it but it also you can
[TS]
00:13:21
◼
►
twirl it in your hand that's a very
[TS]
00:13:23
◼
►
satisfying a circumference and it and
[TS]
00:13:26
◼
►
it's you know it's got broom-handle
[TS]
00:13:27
◼
►
weight and I can you know as I i was
[TS]
00:13:31
◼
►
sitting here right before you called and
[TS]
00:13:32
◼
►
I was just kinda here i'll give you a
[TS]
00:13:34
◼
►
little sound effect just back in my leg
[TS]
00:13:37
◼
►
it interesting so it stands in for its
[TS]
00:13:43
◼
►
it's not a walking stick
[TS]
00:13:44
◼
►
it's not a riding crop no not a baton
[TS]
00:13:46
◼
►
it's certainly not a baseball bat
[TS]
00:13:48
◼
►
it's it's a it's not one of those giants
[TS]
00:13:50
◼
►
tix he used to hit your tire but you're
[TS]
00:13:52
◼
►
actually using it to to beat up people
[TS]
00:13:54
◼
►
at truck stops but this fits into it is
[TS]
00:13:56
◼
►
a nice place in your life you saw it you
[TS]
00:13:58
◼
►
were attracted to it and you just knew
[TS]
00:13:59
◼
►
that would have the hand weight and feel
[TS]
00:14:00
◼
►
that you're looking for exactly it does
[TS]
00:14:02
◼
►
all of the things it scratches the itch
[TS]
00:14:05
◼
►
of every single one of those things that
[TS]
00:14:07
◼
►
you just described the tire thumper the
[TS]
00:14:10
◼
►
riding crop
[TS]
00:14:12
◼
►
the walking stick the torso a baton
[TS]
00:14:18
◼
►
right in a mini-me can't stand it's a
[TS]
00:14:21
◼
►
lot of things like sort of like a
[TS]
00:14:22
◼
►
receptor em who and so on and the and
[TS]
00:14:26
◼
►
the orange color i think if it had been
[TS]
00:14:28
◼
►
blue maybe I would have left it on the
[TS]
00:14:30
◼
►
ground but the orange color was very
[TS]
00:14:31
◼
►
intriguing to me and so now i have a
[TS]
00:14:34
◼
►
thing right i have i have found at least
[TS]
00:14:35
◼
►
for the in this context i have found a
[TS]
00:14:38
◼
►
small duck it is this stick and it's
[TS]
00:14:42
◼
►
giving me like it's it's you know it's
[TS]
00:14:45
◼
►
giving my fingers something to do it's
[TS]
00:14:48
◼
►
just dangerous enough that i'm almost
[TS]
00:14:51
◼
►
certain to whack myself with it like
[TS]
00:14:54
◼
►
wrongly at some point for her which
[TS]
00:14:56
◼
►
gives which gives my you know my
[TS]
00:14:58
◼
►
possession of a little bit of an edge
[TS]
00:15:00
◼
►
they provide you with a certain amount
[TS]
00:15:01
◼
►
of alertness that's right that's exactly
[TS]
00:15:03
◼
►
right it's keeping me in the game keep
[TS]
00:15:05
◼
►
my head in the game so I feel like in
[TS]
00:15:07
◼
►
that respect I have sort of a stitt
[TS]
00:15:11
◼
►
today it's very close in color but
[TS]
00:15:14
◼
►
different in color to my bell
[TS]
00:15:18
◼
►
so I've got kind of an orange theme I
[TS]
00:15:20
◼
►
don't know I just feel like that this
[TS]
00:15:22
◼
►
little guy oh the other thing I did was
[TS]
00:15:23
◼
►
I put my water bottle in the in the
[TS]
00:15:25
◼
►
refrigerator last night and now my water
[TS]
00:15:28
◼
►
bottle is I was good i got tired of
[TS]
00:15:30
◼
►
drinking hot water oh so there are few
[TS]
00:15:33
◼
►
things i know i'm not going to get
[TS]
00:15:35
◼
►
around here and say that I'm that I
[TS]
00:15:36
◼
►
don't know anything I do know a few
[TS]
00:15:40
◼
►
the small victories can be very
[TS]
00:15:42
◼
►
important
[TS]
00:15:43
◼
►
I really I really I really believe that
[TS]
00:15:45
◼
►
I think I think he started out everyday
[TS]
00:15:47
◼
►
on the bubble maybe at best and i think
[TS]
00:15:49
◼
►
you know sometimes it's something comes
[TS]
00:15:51
◼
►
along and you say hey this is the
[TS]
00:15:52
◼
►
direction you need to go
[TS]
00:15:54
◼
►
what does that phrase me on the bubble I
[TS]
00:15:56
◼
►
think it has to do I think of it as
[TS]
00:15:57
◼
►
being like a like a level a carpenter's
[TS]
00:16:00
◼
►
level where oh yeah
[TS]
00:16:03
◼
►
beware when it's when it's you know
[TS]
00:16:04
◼
►
across the event that is exactly
[TS]
00:16:06
◼
►
horizontal the the little bubble in the
[TS]
00:16:09
◼
►
green liquid is exactly the right place
[TS]
00:16:10
◼
►
you're on the bubble
[TS]
00:16:12
◼
►
I don't know I don't know why that's
[TS]
00:16:13
◼
►
what i think of any way but you know
[TS]
00:16:15
◼
►
they're just mean that it could go
[TS]
00:16:16
◼
►
either way
[TS]
00:16:17
◼
►
yeah I i well I wonder I I I think
[TS]
00:16:21
◼
►
sometimes what well you know a lot of a
[TS]
00:16:25
◼
►
lot of our podcast yours in mine one of
[TS]
00:16:28
◼
►
the major themes has been what are we
[TS]
00:16:30
◼
►
doing what are we meant to do and what
[TS]
00:16:34
◼
►
are we actually doing and and I feel
[TS]
00:16:42
◼
►
like I feel like I'm just trying to get
[TS]
00:16:45
◼
►
on the bubble
[TS]
00:16:45
◼
►
I'm just trying to get get that bubble
[TS]
00:16:48
◼
►
somewhere huh
[TS]
00:16:49
◼
►
I when I went hiking yesterday with my
[TS]
00:16:52
◼
►
family we hiked up to a mountain lake
[TS]
00:16:54
◼
►
and we're some of the only people there
[TS]
00:16:58
◼
►
there was a there was some kind of dead
[TS]
00:17:00
◼
►
critter it was truly mountainous and and
[TS]
00:17:06
◼
►
the ladies in my party all jumped in
[TS]
00:17:09
◼
►
this freezing mountain lake and I kind
[TS]
00:17:12
◼
►
of took my shoes off and waded into my
[TS]
00:17:14
◼
►
knees which is that was that that was
[TS]
00:17:17
◼
►
right where I was comfortable was very
[TS]
00:17:19
◼
►
it was cold mountain lake and I was you
[TS]
00:17:21
◼
►
know I was I was being watchful eye was
[TS]
00:17:24
◼
►
I didn't want to jump in the lake I
[TS]
00:17:26
◼
►
wanted to kind of keep one not a foot on
[TS]
00:17:29
◼
►
the shore but i wanted to be ready to
[TS]
00:17:31
◼
►
you know you don't know what's gonna
[TS]
00:17:32
◼
►
happen up there in the mountains like we
[TS]
00:17:33
◼
►
heard coyotes and you know and I was
[TS]
00:17:39
◼
►
there and I was like okay my is this
[TS]
00:17:41
◼
►
this was this was absolutely where I was
[TS]
00:17:44
◼
►
meant to be right now right this is I am
[TS]
00:17:47
◼
►
exactly where I need to be right now
[TS]
00:17:50
◼
►
um and and hey if you can get if you can
[TS]
00:17:57
◼
►
I feel like if you can even get that
[TS]
00:17:59
◼
►
once a day like this is exactly where
[TS]
00:18:01
◼
►
i'll try and meant to be right now
[TS]
00:18:05
◼
►
uh-huh like you're you are your triumph
[TS]
00:18:08
◼
►
in a little bit at least i'll totally oh
[TS]
00:18:11
◼
►
no III hundred percent agree yeah when
[TS]
00:18:14
◼
►
was the last time that you felt like
[TS]
00:18:15
◼
►
that you were exactly where you were
[TS]
00:18:19
◼
►
meant to be
[TS]
00:18:19
◼
►
well this is gonna be a false positive
[TS]
00:18:21
◼
►
because i rarely get it because I'm
[TS]
00:18:24
◼
►
broken inside and now I can't stop
[TS]
00:18:26
◼
►
thinking about the motherfucking
[TS]
00:18:27
◼
►
kool-aid man coming through my wall haha
[TS]
00:18:30
◼
►
son there's something about the enough
[TS]
00:18:33
◼
►
and the analogy of the anxiety kool-aid
[TS]
00:18:35
◼
►
man that has now kind of taken over as
[TS]
00:18:38
◼
►
controlling metaphor for my own mental
[TS]
00:18:39
◼
►
landscape and sorry i know i mean you
[TS]
00:18:43
◼
►
know it's a it is this happens rare
[TS]
00:18:45
◼
►
enough that i did really enough that I
[TS]
00:18:46
◼
►
really notice it
[TS]
00:18:47
◼
►
uh we mentioned i think fly we went away
[TS]
00:18:51
◼
►
for the weekend to visit family the
[TS]
00:18:54
◼
►
family you know our in-laws that we
[TS]
00:18:55
◼
►
visit pretty often they've recently
[TS]
00:18:57
◼
►
moved like much further away than where
[TS]
00:18:59
◼
►
they were before they're out like east
[TS]
00:19:00
◼
►
of Sacramento now and it's in an area
[TS]
00:19:03
◼
►
that I would almost described as like
[TS]
00:19:04
◼
►
the suburban Country like I I don't know
[TS]
00:19:07
◼
►
a lot about California but there are
[TS]
00:19:08
◼
►
these areas where not much happens for a
[TS]
00:19:10
◼
►
while and then you get into this this
[TS]
00:19:12
◼
►
area that's like a weird combination of
[TS]
00:19:15
◼
►
like gated communities but also like
[TS]
00:19:17
◼
►
fairly what I think it's the kind of
[TS]
00:19:19
◼
►
places that tend to go up like tinder
[TS]
00:19:21
◼
►
during a wildfire like you're out in the
[TS]
00:19:23
◼
►
middle of you know that they have a
[TS]
00:19:25
◼
►
creek behind their house and with
[TS]
00:19:26
◼
►
crawdads in it and we go and we draw the
[TS]
00:19:28
◼
►
crawdads it's really fun and a 10 you
[TS]
00:19:31
◼
►
draw the kroger my my daughter is kind
[TS]
00:19:34
◼
►
of a what's less than amateur a terrible
[TS]
00:19:37
◼
►
naturalist she likes looking at things
[TS]
00:19:39
◼
►
and holding them in collecting the golf
[TS]
00:19:40
◼
►
balls that people have hit into the
[TS]
00:19:41
◼
►
creek where so many golf balls and a
[TS]
00:19:45
◼
►
part of nature and they got credits
[TS]
00:19:47
◼
►
which is kind of cool sort of my tiny
[TS]
00:19:49
◼
►
lobsters when you said draw the crawdads
[TS]
00:19:51
◼
►
I thought that was a southern way of
[TS]
00:19:54
◼
►
describing catching them but you're
[TS]
00:19:56
◼
►
literally drawing them with pen and
[TS]
00:19:57
◼
►
paper sketching them George driving the
[TS]
00:20:00
◼
►
crawdad sounds like a terrible guided by
[TS]
00:20:01
◼
►
voices wreck all we were out there
[TS]
00:20:03
◼
►
drawing the crawdads and grew up for 25
[TS]
00:20:07
◼
►
/ a sketch the mudflat family a but
[TS]
00:20:10
◼
►
skipper would slap much fun so I now
[TS]
00:20:14
◼
►
that's a gross word that goes on with
[TS]
00:20:16
◼
►
face mudflap the word flap is so groups
[TS]
00:20:20
◼
►
well I i I'm may not have ever told you
[TS]
00:20:23
◼
►
the story but I was sitting I was
[TS]
00:20:24
◼
►
sitting on the side of the road one time
[TS]
00:20:27
◼
►
with a with an an older guy and we're
[TS]
00:20:32
◼
►
just sort of shooting the shit I was
[TS]
00:20:34
◼
►
there with a friend and he was there
[TS]
00:20:35
◼
►
with a friend the older guy was with a
[TS]
00:20:37
◼
►
friend and a really nice Cadillac drove
[TS]
00:20:41
◼
►
by and the old man said that's a nice
[TS]
00:20:45
◼
►
car and I said that's not really my
[TS]
00:20:47
◼
►
style I like it I like a little bit
[TS]
00:20:51
◼
►
grittier than you know that's all that's
[TS]
00:20:53
◼
►
all dandy it up and he said oh you're
[TS]
00:20:57
◼
►
one of them mud ducks my ducks and that
[TS]
00:21:03
◼
►
sounds like that sounds like a sexy
[TS]
00:21:04
◼
►
thing a mud duck and then my friend
[TS]
00:21:06
◼
►
seized upon it and still to this day
[TS]
00:21:10
◼
►
calls me mud Archie see that's how it
[TS]
00:21:12
◼
►
just like snotboogie anyway so you're
[TS]
00:21:15
◼
►
out there in Grass Valley California
[TS]
00:21:16
◼
►
working app grass valley Greg were way
[TS]
00:21:19
◼
►
the heck out the middle to know and
[TS]
00:21:20
◼
►
believe me I have so many things to tell
[TS]
00:21:21
◼
►
you about this weekend but but you know
[TS]
00:21:23
◼
►
I'm in retrospect there was just this is
[TS]
00:21:25
◼
►
really dumb personal but my daughter
[TS]
00:21:28
◼
►
loves going to the family's new house
[TS]
00:21:30
◼
►
they have a hammock in the backyard and
[TS]
00:21:32
◼
►
we were just laying there kind of
[TS]
00:21:34
◼
►
perpendicular in the hammock kind of
[TS]
00:21:36
◼
►
just cuddling and being silly
[TS]
00:21:39
◼
►
yeah but I mean you know it isn't like i
[TS]
00:21:42
◼
►
think you know we need to disabuse
[TS]
00:21:45
◼
►
ourselves of the of the like we're
[TS]
00:21:47
◼
►
I don't know Norman Rockwell fifties
[TS]
00:21:49
◼
►
idea about how families actually spend
[TS]
00:21:50
◼
►
time together a lot of it's excruciating
[TS]
00:21:52
◼
►
it is actually extremely rare to have
[TS]
00:21:54
◼
►
the moments that are depicted in things
[TS]
00:21:55
◼
►
like coca-cola commercials and and but
[TS]
00:21:58
◼
►
when it does happen and you're not
[TS]
00:21:59
◼
►
trying to create a coca-cola moment it's
[TS]
00:22:01
◼
►
actually really nice so we were just
[TS]
00:22:02
◼
►
laying there and we do something there's
[TS]
00:22:03
◼
►
a thing we do where we take a sound and
[TS]
00:22:06
◼
►
then we try to figure out all the words
[TS]
00:22:08
◼
►
that you get the alphabet and how many
[TS]
00:22:09
◼
►
words you can make out that sound and
[TS]
00:22:11
◼
►
that becomes a song and we're just
[TS]
00:22:14
◼
►
sitting there and I was like you know
[TS]
00:22:15
◼
►
this is actually really nice and she
[TS]
00:22:17
◼
►
went inside to play on the ipad but it
[TS]
00:22:18
◼
►
was nice and but i find those moments
[TS]
00:22:25
◼
►
very rare maybe partly because of the
[TS]
00:22:27
◼
►
kool-aid man but uh but it does it does
[TS]
00:22:30
◼
►
happen it does happen but I see now I
[TS]
00:22:32
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had numerous things I you know numerous
[TS]
00:22:35
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times with the family where I felt like
[TS]
00:22:37
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I was not participating as much as i
[TS]
00:22:39
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should like in your case you go in up to
[TS]
00:22:41
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your up to your you know calves I
[TS]
00:22:43
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finally at length put on my swimsuit and
[TS]
00:22:45
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got in the pool with everybody but I
[TS]
00:22:46
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don't love that you know it John
[TS]
00:22:49
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everybody's got tattoos now know your
[TS]
00:22:51
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resume i see I this is the thing I live
[TS]
00:22:53
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in a bubble and then I go out to the to
[TS]
00:22:55
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the suburban Country land and like I'm
[TS]
00:22:58
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on me like like there's there's not a
[TS]
00:23:00
◼
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clean ankle in that County yeah there's
[TS]
00:23:03
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some kind of some kind of shitty
[TS]
00:23:05
◼
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insignia affixed to every leg where they
[TS]
00:23:10
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live and boy people buy clothes to show
[TS]
00:23:12
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it off and like you know God love you
[TS]
00:23:14
◼
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i'm glad you're having the life you want
[TS]
00:23:15
◼
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but it makes me incredibly uncomfortable
[TS]
00:23:17
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yeah and uh huh I mean everybody you
[TS]
00:23:20
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know and I think sometimes like moms and
[TS]
00:23:22
◼
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dads get sympathy and tattoos because
[TS]
00:23:24
◼
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their kids have already gotten in way
[TS]
00:23:25
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over their head in there in the in the
[TS]
00:23:26
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tattoos in their twenties I think they
[TS]
00:23:28
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get a sympathy tattoo maybe get a
[TS]
00:23:29
◼
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memorial tattoo your Tweety Bird you get
[TS]
00:23:32
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some kind of like a really poorly drawn
[TS]
00:23:34
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trouble clef oh I've seen since I've
[TS]
00:23:37
◼
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seen so many insignias oh oh my goodness
[TS]
00:23:40
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but no I'm not always participating as
[TS]
00:23:42
◼
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much as i showed him you know I go
[TS]
00:23:44
◼
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through my moods but yeah oh yeah oh I
[TS]
00:23:46
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know I know not
[TS]
00:23:47
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I'm pretty I'm usually a pretty jolly
[TS]
00:23:49
◼
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guy but you know sometimes it's just
[TS]
00:23:51
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hey kool-aid kool-aid
[TS]
00:23:55
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oh yeah yeah crashing baby boomer with a
[TS]
00:23:59
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big Fred you're gonna retire
[TS]
00:24:01
◼
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oh yeah haha oh yeah I had that
[TS]
00:24:05
◼
►
conversation you know god please no
[TS]
00:24:07
◼
►
company where i figger morning come on
[TS]
00:24:10
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I said listen the only real wealth is
[TS]
00:24:12
◼
►
property i heard that where I heard
[TS]
00:24:15
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those words come out of my mouth the
[TS]
00:24:16
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only real wealth his property and the
[TS]
00:24:20
◼
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people are always talking to world like
[TS]
00:24:22
◼
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you said like James Earl Jones and cohen
[TS]
00:24:24
◼
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know what is a good one person kinda
[TS]
00:24:29
◼
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looked out the window the other person
[TS]
00:24:30
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started twirling their hair and I was
[TS]
00:24:32
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like no listen it was it was it was a
[TS]
00:24:34
◼
►
non sequitur we sitting a little bit
[TS]
00:24:36
◼
►
like bad puffing on your on your on your
[TS]
00:24:38
◼
►
uh your mirror Shami or your calabash in
[TS]
00:24:42
◼
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the only real well as proper traffic i
[TS]
00:24:44
◼
►
looked i think i looked up from a
[TS]
00:24:46
◼
►
newspaper looked over the ground
[TS]
00:24:48
◼
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scratching yourself at the same time the
[TS]
00:24:50
◼
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real world looks and you know what
[TS]
00:24:52
◼
►
there's something I want my daughter to
[TS]
00:24:54
◼
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know gather out the only real world is
[TS]
00:24:57
◼
►
probably real well that's true yeah
[TS]
00:25:00
◼
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never going to retire Jesus and and can
[TS]
00:25:04
◼
►
only get can only be comfortable with
[TS]
00:25:07
◼
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other people are in brief a brief moment
[TS]
00:25:10
◼
►
you think we're really different you and
[TS]
00:25:13
◼
►
me roar us and the world
[TS]
00:25:16
◼
►
well I knew you and I were corner cases
[TS]
00:25:18
◼
►
but like I I used to think of us as
[TS]
00:25:21
◼
►
being very very a different and now I
[TS]
00:25:23
◼
►
think we might share a kool-aid man m
[TS]
00:25:26
◼
►
kool-aid man as a service
[TS]
00:25:28
◼
►
one of one of my quotes from yesterday
[TS]
00:25:29
◼
►
you know we were we were hiking it was a
[TS]
00:25:31
◼
►
it was a truly a mountain mountain hike
[TS]
00:25:33
◼
►
and my little girl has gone on some
[TS]
00:25:37
◼
►
she's become some forced marches with us
[TS]
00:25:39
◼
►
before before no and the you know in my
[TS]
00:25:43
◼
►
long-term goal which was to get her to
[TS]
00:25:45
◼
►
think that hiking in the mountains is
[TS]
00:25:46
◼
►
normal is starting to take effect right
[TS]
00:25:50
◼
►
she no longer complains she
[TS]
00:25:54
◼
►
she knows better she just she assumed
[TS]
00:25:57
◼
►
that this is you know that we're gonna
[TS]
00:25:58
◼
►
do any was quite a long hike it was it
[TS]
00:26:00
◼
►
was a few miles up in a few miles down
[TS]
00:26:02
◼
►
my goodness on her little legs ya up to
[TS]
00:26:04
◼
►
the up to the mountains but what I what
[TS]
00:26:06
◼
►
I started to notice was you know she she
[TS]
00:26:09
◼
►
is a narrator right she is narrating all
[TS]
00:26:12
◼
►
the time and when she's narrating show
[TS]
00:26:17
◼
►
get up into a word storm and forget
[TS]
00:26:20
◼
►
where she is forget what she's doing but
[TS]
00:26:22
◼
►
she's on a mountain trail so she would
[TS]
00:26:24
◼
►
then immediately slip-and-fall she felt
[TS]
00:26:28
◼
►
one at one point yesterday face-first
[TS]
00:26:31
◼
►
into a stream
[TS]
00:26:33
◼
►
no it didn't know she was just stopping
[TS]
00:26:35
◼
►
out and tripped and plop right like face
[TS]
00:26:39
◼
►
in a stream and that was a surprise that
[TS]
00:26:41
◼
►
it was really actually quite priceless
[TS]
00:26:45
◼
►
oh no I she wasn't horribly injured no
[TS]
00:26:48
◼
►
and woman she was coming it we were
[TS]
00:26:51
◼
►
hiking in the mountains we were all
[TS]
00:26:52
◼
►
injured by the end but at a certain
[TS]
00:26:55
◼
►
point I i became a dad right and I
[TS]
00:26:59
◼
►
started to say less talking more walking
[TS]
00:27:03
◼
►
and I heard myself say it again and then
[TS]
00:27:08
◼
►
I was like it's my mantra it's my dad
[TS]
00:27:10
◼
►
mantra for the day and every time i
[TS]
00:27:13
◼
►
would say you would stop and she would
[TS]
00:27:15
◼
►
think about it for a while and she would
[TS]
00:27:16
◼
►
walk and she would walk without falling
[TS]
00:27:17
◼
►
and then after a while you know we can
[TS]
00:27:20
◼
►
die in the end I and there were a couple
[TS]
00:27:22
◼
►
of identity to the rules right if you
[TS]
00:27:24
◼
►
have a question about anything you can
[TS]
00:27:26
◼
►
always ask a question are you allowed to
[TS]
00:27:28
◼
►
pause and stop walking
[TS]
00:27:30
◼
►
you can pause and stop walking and look
[TS]
00:27:31
◼
►
at stuff there long i can see a lot of
[TS]
00:27:34
◼
►
potential abuse right up right there
[TS]
00:27:38
◼
►
there's a certain amount of that but we
[TS]
00:27:39
◼
►
did we play a game where it's like who's
[TS]
00:27:41
◼
►
that who's the locomotive who is the
[TS]
00:27:43
◼
►
who's the hopper car and who's the
[TS]
00:27:45
◼
►
caboose
[TS]
00:27:47
◼
►
so if you use if you stop and want to
[TS]
00:27:50
◼
►
like look at something then you know
[TS]
00:27:53
◼
►
we'll all stop and look but if you're
[TS]
00:27:55
◼
►
your laggin and you're the caboose you
[TS]
00:28:00
◼
►
remember you are four years old and the
[TS]
00:28:02
◼
►
this is a mountain forest
[TS]
00:28:04
◼
►
so you want a lag to collect too far
[TS]
00:28:07
◼
►
behind because the Coyotes ok
[TS]
00:28:09
◼
►
uh-huh yeah we should start a collection
[TS]
00:28:11
◼
►
of dad quotes i had 1i I like the
[TS]
00:28:15
◼
►
description of this as being something
[TS]
00:28:16
◼
►
you find yourself saying yeah no one
[TS]
00:28:18
◼
►
wakes up wanting to say say say certain
[TS]
00:28:22
◼
►
things but one finds oneself saying
[TS]
00:28:23
◼
►
things that you wear it's very you may
[TS]
00:28:26
◼
►
sound like your parents one's own
[TS]
00:28:27
◼
►
parents or you may sound like a whole
[TS]
00:28:29
◼
►
new kind of awful parents
[TS]
00:28:31
◼
►
yeah I sound I mean I never in my life
[TS]
00:28:33
◼
►
thought I would ever say less talking
[TS]
00:28:34
◼
►
more walking
[TS]
00:28:35
◼
►
how about this one um well you're just
[TS]
00:28:38
◼
►
gonna have to cry in the car which witch
[TS]
00:28:44
◼
►
is which is a version of less talking
[TS]
00:28:46
◼
►
more walking which is like an incorrect
[TS]
00:28:49
◼
►
I screwed up any attempt i might make to
[TS]
00:28:52
◼
►
take the lessons I've learned from my
[TS]
00:28:53
◼
►
child's wonderful school to say
[TS]
00:28:55
◼
►
something like hey you know it's okay to
[TS]
00:28:56
◼
►
feel sad
[TS]
00:28:57
◼
►
it's ok to have emotions it's okay to
[TS]
00:28:59
◼
►
cry but you know what did you can
[TS]
00:29:00
◼
►
anything we don't have time to cry here
[TS]
00:29:07
◼
►
no listen that's a lie i have have said
[TS]
00:29:11
◼
►
that voice why did they say that it's
[TS]
00:29:12
◼
►
know what a help save your feelings hold
[TS]
00:29:16
◼
►
them in when we get into the women get
[TS]
00:29:19
◼
►
into our safe bubble you can let them
[TS]
00:29:22
◼
►
we gotta go we got three hour drive la
[TS]
00:29:24
◼
►
grande Grande the car
[TS]
00:29:26
◼
►
listen grab your bag oh yeah so uh so i
[TS]
00:29:33
◼
►
have i've been i've been coping pretty
[TS]
00:29:38
◼
►
well lately by you know you know you
[TS]
00:29:44
◼
►
kind of we this is another thing that
[TS]
00:29:46
◼
►
you and I talked about a lot and I don't
[TS]
00:29:48
◼
►
think we've ever put a name to it but I
[TS]
00:29:49
◼
►
but I'm starting to think of it as
[TS]
00:29:51
◼
►
reverse-engineered Buddhism well that's
[TS]
00:29:55
◼
►
pretty good right where you're not going
[TS]
00:29:57
◼
►
into it Buddhistic Lee mhm but you you
[TS]
00:30:02
◼
►
arrive at it you arrive at Buddhism by
[TS]
00:30:05
◼
►
other by another path that's good and
[TS]
00:30:09
◼
►
I'm and I'm finding that I'm finding
[TS]
00:30:11
◼
►
that in my life
[TS]
00:30:14
◼
►
that it's actually very effective you
[TS]
00:30:17
◼
►
know Two and sometimes it involves some
[TS]
00:30:22
◼
►
swears right where I think of actual
[TS]
00:30:25
◼
►
Buddhism isn't as never involving any
[TS]
00:30:27
◼
►
swears see that's that's bad marketing
[TS]
00:30:30
◼
►
right that's the thing they don't tell
[TS]
00:30:32
◼
►
you this is what those Wall Street fat
[TS]
00:30:34
◼
►
cats don't want you to know that if
[TS]
00:30:35
◼
►
you're meditating and he was
[TS]
00:30:36
◼
►
uncomfortable experiences in your entire
[TS]
00:30:38
◼
►
life not just on your legs your behind
[TS]
00:30:39
◼
►
but like you're just supposed to sit
[TS]
00:30:41
◼
►
there and take it as your mind like goes
[TS]
00:30:43
◼
►
through everything that's wrong
[TS]
00:30:45
◼
►
well so many squares that's the thing so
[TS]
00:30:47
◼
►
many squares it's like it's like that
[TS]
00:30:48
◼
►
argument you and I had so many years ago
[TS]
00:30:50
◼
►
when I was like Christians shouldn't
[TS]
00:30:51
◼
►
smoke pot it's the same it's like
[TS]
00:30:55
◼
►
Buddhist shouldn't swear but of course
[TS]
00:30:56
◼
►
when you're meditating your mind is full
[TS]
00:30:58
◼
►
of swears your you are so full of
[TS]
00:31:01
◼
►
squares and that's that's how you feel
[TS]
00:31:03
◼
►
like I'm not doing this right and
[TS]
00:31:05
◼
►
percent alcohol your good John Wow king
[TS]
00:31:07
◼
►
but in fact it's all swears it's where's
[TS]
00:31:10
◼
►
all the way down
[TS]
00:31:11
◼
►
how did you so you know how did you
[TS]
00:31:13
◼
►
reverse engineer this but what's the
[TS]
00:31:16
◼
►
thing if I could ask if you want to say
[TS]
00:31:17
◼
►
what's the thing that occurs to you go
[TS]
00:31:19
◼
►
hmm here's the thing i could try here's
[TS]
00:31:21
◼
►
a thought technology i could experiment
[TS]
00:31:23
◼
►
with well so so running this campaign
[TS]
00:31:28
◼
►
for public office has been a extremely
[TS]
00:31:32
◼
►
difficult and emotionally difficult and
[TS]
00:31:35
◼
►
and practically difficult energetically
[TS]
00:31:39
◼
►
difficult and and so the difficulty like
[TS]
00:31:45
◼
►
breeds in me at least like and I think
[TS]
00:31:49
◼
►
in i think in most candidates like i was
[TS]
00:31:51
◼
►
talking the other day to a very
[TS]
00:31:53
◼
►
successful local politician who is like
[TS]
00:31:56
◼
►
sort of everybody everybody admires and
[TS]
00:31:59
◼
►
he turned to his wife and said you know
[TS]
00:32:04
◼
►
because i was talking about the pic the
[TS]
00:32:06
◼
►
trials of the campaign he turned to his
[TS]
00:32:07
◼
►
wife he said remember my first campaign
[TS]
00:32:09
◼
►
and she said yeah and he said I had a a
[TS]
00:32:13
◼
►
total nervous breakdown like I i thought
[TS]
00:32:16
◼
►
i was going to end up in a rubber room
[TS]
00:32:18
◼
►
oh wow and I think that that is true of
[TS]
00:32:22
◼
►
everyone that's one of the things that
[TS]
00:32:24
◼
►
people don't really know it's so easy to
[TS]
00:32:26
◼
►
look at
[TS]
00:32:27
◼
►
political candidates and think oh
[TS]
00:32:31
◼
►
they're ego-driven it's all for glory
[TS]
00:32:35
◼
►
it's all for their you know they just
[TS]
00:32:36
◼
►
like to hear the sound of their own
[TS]
00:32:37
◼
►
voice all this kind of stuff that we put
[TS]
00:32:40
◼
►
on political candidates and and there's
[TS]
00:32:43
◼
►
no way to know even as a I mean even as
[TS]
00:32:46
◼
►
a total political voyeur and tourists as
[TS]
00:32:50
◼
►
I feel like I've been my whole life
[TS]
00:32:51
◼
►
watching candidates and watching the
[TS]
00:32:53
◼
►
process there's just no way to know how
[TS]
00:32:55
◼
►
much you know how exposed you are how
[TS]
00:33:01
◼
►
vulnerable you are and how much the
[TS]
00:33:03
◼
►
process of running for office is to just
[TS]
00:33:05
◼
►
put yourself over and over in front of
[TS]
00:33:07
◼
►
people who are communicating to you in
[TS]
00:33:11
◼
►
every way that the best you can do is to
[TS]
00:33:16
◼
►
be that the best that you're going to
[TS]
00:33:18
◼
►
get from them is that they're going to
[TS]
00:33:19
◼
►
give you a face like they're sucking on
[TS]
00:33:21
◼
►
a lemon right like every day you're just
[TS]
00:33:24
◼
►
you wake up in the morning like I'm
[TS]
00:33:25
◼
►
gonna have to go out and I'm gonna meet
[TS]
00:33:27
◼
►
600 people today and they're all going
[TS]
00:33:29
◼
►
to give me a lemon face and then at the
[TS]
00:33:31
◼
►
end of the day maybe I'll remember to
[TS]
00:33:34
◼
►
eat so there's not that you know the
[TS]
00:33:38
◼
►
idea that anybody would do it for that
[TS]
00:33:40
◼
►
the idea that it is self-aggrandizing or
[TS]
00:33:43
◼
►
that you that you do it and it's just
[TS]
00:33:45
◼
►
like strokes the whole time right is so
[TS]
00:33:48
◼
►
far off and there's so much easier ways
[TS]
00:33:51
◼
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to do that
[TS]
00:33:51
◼
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all right i mean if you I mean anyway
[TS]
00:33:53
◼
►
now just go on facebook and put a bunch
[TS]
00:33:55
◼
►
of put a bunch of selfies on there and
[TS]
00:33:58
◼
►
talk about your surgery you're you're
[TS]
00:34:02
◼
►
already you're already like getting so
[TS]
00:34:05
◼
►
many more ego strokes then even the
[TS]
00:34:08
◼
►
president of the united states right i
[TS]
00:34:10
◼
►
mean it's just like running for office
[TS]
00:34:12
◼
►
is so hard and and there have been
[TS]
00:34:15
◼
►
multiple multiple times where I've just
[TS]
00:34:17
◼
►
you know kind of like my friend the
[TS]
00:34:19
◼
►
successful politician where I don't feel
[TS]
00:34:22
◼
►
like I'm going to end up in a rubber
[TS]
00:34:23
◼
►
room but I'd but you get that you get
[TS]
00:34:24
◼
►
that very human cornered feeling just
[TS]
00:34:28
◼
►
like everywhere I look there is
[TS]
00:34:31
◼
►
something bad about to happen and it's
[TS]
00:34:35
◼
►
an and none of it is going to register
[TS]
00:34:38
◼
►
as bad to people outside like you know I
[TS]
00:34:40
◼
►
was in a pro
[TS]
00:34:41
◼
►
is marked in the pride parade and
[TS]
00:34:44
◼
►
everybody around me and everybody that
[TS]
00:34:47
◼
►
saw me and took a picture of me is like
[TS]
00:34:49
◼
►
wow you're you know that must have been
[TS]
00:34:52
◼
►
amazing you're marching in the pride
[TS]
00:34:54
◼
►
parade but from my perspective like I'm
[TS]
00:34:59
◼
►
marching as a political candidate in the
[TS]
00:35:02
◼
►
pride parade and so the joy that people
[TS]
00:35:06
◼
►
are expressing um is not directed at me
[TS]
00:35:11
◼
►
right I am trying being a political
[TS]
00:35:14
◼
►
candidate I am arriving in a situation
[TS]
00:35:16
◼
►
where people are expressing joy and I'm
[TS]
00:35:19
◼
►
trying to grab it
[TS]
00:35:21
◼
►
I'm trying to grab your more like a
[TS]
00:35:23
◼
►
witness to joy yeah right or like i am
[TS]
00:35:25
◼
►
here is the is the best that you can be
[TS]
00:35:28
◼
►
right now if you if I had if I had an
[TS]
00:35:31
◼
►
enormous feathered headdress and was
[TS]
00:35:33
◼
►
wearing a g-string I would be like I am
[TS]
00:35:38
◼
►
giving back the joy that you are sending
[TS]
00:35:41
◼
►
right like I am I am Here I this parade
[TS]
00:35:44
◼
►
is an expression of my liberation you
[TS]
00:35:46
◼
►
know there are so many people in that
[TS]
00:35:48
◼
►
parade that are truly expressing like
[TS]
00:35:50
◼
►
something real and powerful and i am
[TS]
00:35:53
◼
►
saying i would like to be your elected
[TS]
00:35:55
◼
►
representative yeah like kind of like
[TS]
00:35:57
◼
►
almost a form of tourism and and so and
[TS]
00:36:00
◼
►
i don't and i think most most candidates
[TS]
00:36:02
◼
►
are most candidates are either not
[TS]
00:36:05
◼
►
sensitive i think i think ultimately to
[TS]
00:36:07
◼
►
be a successful political candidate he
[TS]
00:36:09
◼
►
cannot be sensitive
[TS]
00:36:11
◼
►
you can't have spent your whole
[TS]
00:36:12
◼
►
professional career trying to be
[TS]
00:36:14
◼
►
emotionally raw which is what i have
[TS]
00:36:16
◼
►
done for now you are emotionally raw
[TS]
00:36:20
◼
►
you're an adult who is still emotionally
[TS]
00:36:22
◼
►
raw which is a rare enough thing in and
[TS]
00:36:24
◼
►
of itself and then you're putting
[TS]
00:36:26
◼
►
yourself into a situation where people
[TS]
00:36:27
◼
►
are like it's just like squeezing lemons
[TS]
00:36:31
◼
►
in your eyes all day so I think people
[TS]
00:36:35
◼
►
are marching in this parade and they are
[TS]
00:36:36
◼
►
not conscious of the fact that they are
[TS]
00:36:38
◼
►
uh or there or if they are conscious of
[TS]
00:36:41
◼
►
it they don't it's not connected to
[TS]
00:36:42
◼
►
their emotions that they are kind of
[TS]
00:36:44
◼
►
carpetbagging almost any situation
[TS]
00:36:47
◼
►
you're in as a candidate your
[TS]
00:36:49
◼
►
carpetbagging unless it is an event that
[TS]
00:36:52
◼
►
you have set up yourself for people to
[TS]
00:36:54
◼
►
yellow you about streetcars um but but
[TS]
00:37:00
◼
►
so so I'm arriving at this
[TS]
00:37:02
◼
►
I'm arriving at this backdoor Buddhism
[TS]
00:37:04
◼
►
because literally I it's the only I mean
[TS]
00:37:10
◼
►
I it's not a stratagem my employ in it
[TS]
00:37:14
◼
►
is a last resort of how am I going to
[TS]
00:37:19
◼
►
make it to the end of today and then I
[TS]
00:37:22
◼
►
find myself like trying to just be
[TS]
00:37:27
◼
►
present and trying to recognize the you
[TS]
00:37:30
◼
►
know all these are all these notions
[TS]
00:37:35
◼
►
that I've I learned or heard of her but
[TS]
00:37:39
◼
►
in other ways other different kinds of
[TS]
00:37:41
◼
►
practice and I'm actually it's the it's
[TS]
00:37:43
◼
►
the only thing that that will get me to
[TS]
00:37:48
◼
►
the end of the day and that's really you
[TS]
00:37:52
◼
►
know that's where you get to the to the
[TS]
00:37:53
◼
►
kind of the mathematics of the soul
[TS]
00:37:56
◼
►
right where you we just you find the
[TS]
00:38:00
◼
►
core principles that are true across all
[TS]
00:38:02
◼
►
religions are you find the core
[TS]
00:38:04
◼
►
principles that are just that are that
[TS]
00:38:06
◼
►
are the equations
[TS]
00:38:08
◼
►
uh-huh at the start of the Spirit is
[TS]
00:38:10
◼
►
written in because you you you get to a
[TS]
00:38:16
◼
►
place where you're justyou're you have
[TS]
00:38:17
◼
►
you are in the particle accelerator of
[TS]
00:38:21
◼
►
the of the Spirit and it just breaks it
[TS]
00:38:26
◼
►
down to two those you know the elements
[TS]
00:38:31
◼
►
i guess there's an element of any port
[TS]
00:38:35
◼
►
in a storm
[TS]
00:38:36
◼
►
um well or you know it's for it
[TS]
00:38:41
◼
►
it's funny because you mean there are
[TS]
00:38:46
◼
►
aspects of what I'm doing where I have
[TS]
00:38:47
◼
►
never cared so much about i think i'm
[TS]
00:38:53
◼
►
doing right I've never I mean maybe
[TS]
00:38:55
◼
►
maybe making records ye you care so
[TS]
00:38:59
◼
►
deeply about it but but the thing about
[TS]
00:39:01
◼
►
making a record is your caring about
[TS]
00:39:03
◼
►
each aspect of it
[TS]
00:39:06
◼
►
it's very hard to care about the record
[TS]
00:39:10
◼
►
while you're making it because what
[TS]
00:39:12
◼
►
you're what you really care about is
[TS]
00:39:13
◼
►
this bass part you're working on right
[TS]
00:39:15
◼
►
now and if you manage to care deeply
[TS]
00:39:18
◼
►
about this bass part and that tambourine
[TS]
00:39:21
◼
►
part and you never you never walked in
[TS]
00:39:24
◼
►
the studio and go out this tambourine
[TS]
00:39:25
◼
►
part doesn't matter just bang bang bang
[TS]
00:39:28
◼
►
but you go in every time ago like I
[TS]
00:39:30
◼
►
gotta get this tambourine part right
[TS]
00:39:31
◼
►
like this is going to be the thing that
[TS]
00:39:32
◼
►
really lifts this tune and you know so
[TS]
00:39:35
◼
►
you're carrying very deeply about the
[TS]
00:39:36
◼
►
parts and but you you never aware of
[TS]
00:39:39
◼
►
like Ike I'm i care about this record
[TS]
00:39:41
◼
►
you don't you don't think that if you
[TS]
00:39:42
◼
►
keep you if you're too much i said this
[TS]
00:39:44
◼
►
from some experience if you're too much
[TS]
00:39:46
◼
►
in that position you're probably not
[TS]
00:39:48
◼
►
making the record that's right it's just
[TS]
00:39:50
◼
►
it's there's something actually i
[TS]
00:39:51
◼
►
actually heard an interview this morning
[TS]
00:39:53
◼
►
on sound opinions they were talking to I
[TS]
00:39:55
◼
►
want to say the band Torres but this
[TS]
00:39:57
◼
►
woman Mackenzie something in this band
[TS]
00:39:58
◼
►
proposal sentence anyway and some point
[TS]
00:40:01
◼
►
recently heard an interview with
[TS]
00:40:02
◼
►
somebody where they were talking about
[TS]
00:40:03
◼
►
how dealing with I think I'm really
[TS]
00:40:08
◼
►
mangling this but somebody talking about
[TS]
00:40:09
◼
►
how like there's something really
[TS]
00:40:10
◼
►
comforting about actually being in the
[TS]
00:40:11
◼
►
studio and recording and its high
[TS]
00:40:13
◼
►
pressure is that is that's really kind
[TS]
00:40:15
◼
►
of knowable sort of high pressure and
[TS]
00:40:17
◼
►
because you you really are a tent-like
[TS]
00:40:19
◼
►
deep in the implementation details and
[TS]
00:40:21
◼
►
doing of things it's like when you're
[TS]
00:40:23
◼
►
outside of that rare environments and I
[TS]
00:40:25
◼
►
feel about recording the show were being
[TS]
00:40:26
◼
►
onstage I find it relaxing we do this is
[TS]
00:40:28
◼
►
this this is not is not the part that i
[TS]
00:40:29
◼
►
find difficult at all i love doing this
[TS]
00:40:31
◼
►
it's you know it's everything else
[TS]
00:40:33
◼
►
that's difficult and because that's when
[TS]
00:40:35
◼
►
you think about like what should you be
[TS]
00:40:36
◼
►
doing that you're not doing right now
[TS]
00:40:38
◼
►
you don't think I mean like it do you do
[TS]
00:40:39
◼
►
that to an extent but like if you're
[TS]
00:40:40
◼
►
really absorbed in what you're doing in
[TS]
00:40:42
◼
►
the studio was just thinking about a
[TS]
00:40:43
◼
►
baseline or tambourine like that's
[TS]
00:40:45
◼
►
that's really freeing yeah and and when
[TS]
00:40:48
◼
►
and that is the opposite of what it is
[TS]
00:40:50
◼
►
like at least for me in running a
[TS]
00:40:52
◼
►
campaign because each individual event
[TS]
00:40:55
◼
►
in the campaign like none of them and
[TS]
00:41:01
◼
►
not very few of them at least is thus
[TS]
00:41:03
◼
►
far our are moments where it's like I
[TS]
00:41:08
◼
►
really have to get this bass part right
[TS]
00:41:10
◼
►
you know each each one of them at least
[TS]
00:41:11
◼
►
four and i think there are candidates
[TS]
00:41:13
◼
►
who every every time they appear in
[TS]
00:41:16
◼
►
front of the like concerned shoppers of
[TS]
00:41:18
◼
►
America
[TS]
00:41:19
◼
►
they want to you know they want to give
[TS]
00:41:21
◼
►
their stump speech a little bit better
[TS]
00:41:23
◼
►
and tailor it to this concern shoppers
[TS]
00:41:26
◼
►
but for me each one of those events is
[TS]
00:41:30
◼
►
just like oh there's nothing i want to
[TS]
00:41:32
◼
►
do less than go talk to the concerned
[TS]
00:41:34
◼
►
shoppers of america and it's not because
[TS]
00:41:36
◼
►
I'm not interested in hearing what the
[TS]
00:41:40
◼
►
concern shoppers are concerned about it
[TS]
00:41:43
◼
►
is that every one of these things is it
[TS]
00:41:45
◼
►
is is a kind of theater and they are not
[TS]
00:41:49
◼
►
really telling me what they're concerned
[TS]
00:41:50
◼
►
about like there is there's very little
[TS]
00:41:52
◼
►
real communication happening if any real
[TS]
00:41:57
◼
►
communication does happen in these
[TS]
00:41:58
◼
►
events it is by accident and yet so so
[TS]
00:42:02
◼
►
every one of the building block events
[TS]
00:42:04
◼
►
is kind of really hard much much harder
[TS]
00:42:08
◼
►
than than what you get out of it you
[TS]
00:42:11
◼
►
know what I mean like it's almost over
[TS]
00:42:13
◼
►
what do they call it in sports is it
[TS]
00:42:15
◼
►
like the compulsories and in-store or
[TS]
00:42:17
◼
►
like you know if anything we're like you
[TS]
00:42:19
◼
►
or time trial kind of thing where you
[TS]
00:42:22
◼
►
have to compete in order to be allowed
[TS]
00:42:24
◼
►
to compete right right right exactly
[TS]
00:42:26
◼
►
right and so that in one way obviously
[TS]
00:42:28
◼
►
that is very similar to a primary you're
[TS]
00:42:30
◼
►
competing before you're allowed to
[TS]
00:42:32
◼
►
compete but the other part of it is that
[TS]
00:42:33
◼
►
and I i might be over dramatizing this a
[TS]
00:42:36
◼
►
little bit but it seems to me like every
[TS]
00:42:37
◼
►
event you go to what you're trying to
[TS]
00:42:38
◼
►
avoid saying is that it sounds like is
[TS]
00:42:41
◼
►
that these can't all be the most
[TS]
00:42:42
◼
►
important high-stakes thing in the world
[TS]
00:42:44
◼
►
for you perish like but you also have to
[TS]
00:42:47
◼
►
take each one of those seriously because
[TS]
00:42:49
◼
►
while there's not an eternal like huge
[TS]
00:42:53
◼
►
amount of long-term gain from really
[TS]
00:42:55
◼
►
hitting it out of the park there are
[TS]
00:42:57
◼
►
there are potentially huge ramifications
[TS]
00:42:58
◼
►
if it goes terribly wrong
[TS]
00:43:00
◼
►
so it's one of those this it's like all
[TS]
00:43:02
◼
►
the worst kind of existential compressor
[TS]
00:43:03
◼
►
limiter were like no matter how great it
[TS]
00:43:05
◼
►
gets you're ok you're good now these
[TS]
00:43:07
◼
►
three hundred shoppers might consider
[TS]
00:43:09
◼
►
you but if you say something wrong or
[TS]
00:43:11
◼
►
you fart or something like that like it
[TS]
00:43:12
◼
►
could go it could be potentially
[TS]
00:43:14
◼
►
catastrophic is now there's now there's
[TS]
00:43:16
◼
►
really some news report on ya and every
[TS]
00:43:18
◼
►
single you know every single moment is
[TS]
00:43:23
◼
►
an opportunity for somebody to stand up
[TS]
00:43:27
◼
►
and say when did you stop beating your
[TS]
00:43:29
◼
►
right you're just like you know a god
[TS]
00:43:32
◼
►
it's happy you know like it's always
[TS]
00:43:34
◼
►
there's every morning waking up and
[TS]
00:43:37
◼
►
looking at the internet it's just like
[TS]
00:43:39
◼
►
is today the day that the internet it
[TS]
00:43:44
◼
►
you know that I mean there there's one
[TS]
00:43:46
◼
►
guy in my race that that that wants to
[TS]
00:43:50
◼
►
win badly enough that he is willing to
[TS]
00:43:53
◼
►
be he's willing to attack me personally
[TS]
00:43:56
◼
►
that gets it gets too desperate he's
[TS]
00:43:58
◼
►
more than willing to to go negative
[TS]
00:44:01
◼
►
yeah he's demonstrated it already a
[TS]
00:44:03
◼
►
couple of times and that the attacks
[TS]
00:44:05
◼
►
have been sort of ineffective because
[TS]
00:44:07
◼
►
he's just but he's he really is he
[TS]
00:44:13
◼
►
really wants it and what I have learned
[TS]
00:44:17
◼
►
the way I have learned to survive this
[TS]
00:44:21
◼
►
is to arrive at a place where it is it's
[TS]
00:44:29
◼
►
really funny because as I say I have
[TS]
00:44:31
◼
►
never cared so much about the overall
[TS]
00:44:35
◼
►
project I've never cared so much about
[TS]
00:44:39
◼
►
the about the thing i'm doing but I have
[TS]
00:44:44
◼
►
also had to learn to say it like
[TS]
00:44:49
◼
►
ultimate Lee I'm fine with any result
[TS]
00:44:54
◼
►
i'm fine with either result like if i
[TS]
00:44:58
◼
►
that is a that is cause for celebration
[TS]
00:45:02
◼
►
if I do not win that is also that is
[TS]
00:45:07
◼
►
also fine for that is also like even a
[TS]
00:45:10
◼
►
it is a it will be a profound lesson and
[TS]
00:45:16
◼
►
experience and i don't mean personally
[TS]
00:45:18
◼
►
like I'm not talking about this like
[TS]
00:45:20
◼
►
what a journey right but like I will I i
[TS]
00:45:26
◼
►
already know so much more than I ever
[TS]
00:45:27
◼
►
knew and that knowledge is going to be
[TS]
00:45:33
◼
►
useful to me down the road and and I you
[TS]
00:45:39
◼
►
know and i know i want to
[TS]
00:45:41
◼
►
I know that helping other people helping
[TS]
00:45:44
◼
►
my fellows is one of my core principles
[TS]
00:45:47
◼
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and now I know how to do that better but
[TS]
00:45:50
◼
►
ultimately if I if I focus on winning if
[TS]
00:45:56
◼
►
that is the goal then there's there are
[TS]
00:46:00
◼
►
so many opportunities every day to do
[TS]
00:46:03
◼
►
something in order to win that is
[TS]
00:46:07
◼
►
against my beliefs her and so I cannot
[TS]
00:46:11
◼
►
focus on winning because I see what it
[TS]
00:46:15
◼
►
does to people and and there are
[TS]
00:46:20
◼
►
hundreds and hundreds of people who want
[TS]
00:46:22
◼
►
to facilitate you making the wrong
[TS]
00:46:25
◼
►
choice in order to win right that's the
[TS]
00:46:28
◼
►
whole consultant game it's just like oh
[TS]
00:46:32
◼
►
you want to win I'll tell you how to win
[TS]
00:46:34
◼
►
you put you know you you you unscrew
[TS]
00:46:38
◼
►
your opponent's brake lines and there's
[TS]
00:46:40
◼
►
always another devil to appear on your
[TS]
00:46:41
◼
►
shoulder
[TS]
00:46:42
◼
►
yeah and so you cannot think about
[TS]
00:46:44
◼
►
winning and if you're not thinking about
[TS]
00:46:47
◼
►
winning then you have to arrive at a
[TS]
00:46:49
◼
►
place where winning doesn't matter we're
[TS]
00:46:50
◼
►
winning isn't the goal the goal is
[TS]
00:46:52
◼
►
something else and you know like the
[TS]
00:46:55
◼
►
goal is not to keep your personal
[TS]
00:46:57
◼
►
integrity intact because i already had
[TS]
00:46:59
◼
►
my personal integrity intact before I
[TS]
00:47:02
◼
►
started running the race
[TS]
00:47:03
◼
►
this wasn't some isn't something where
[TS]
00:47:05
◼
►
it's like I need to find what find my
[TS]
00:47:07
◼
►
integrity like I had it right so the the
[TS]
00:47:11
◼
►
goal has to be something else and if it
[TS]
00:47:14
◼
►
isn't winning and if it isn't staying
[TS]
00:47:16
◼
►
honest rat no matter what the cost or
[TS]
00:47:20
◼
►
what the what the result you know that
[TS]
00:47:23
◼
►
that is this that is this that is this a
[TS]
00:47:27
◼
►
this arrival in a place of like
[TS]
00:47:29
◼
►
acceptance where I'm still I'm still
[TS]
00:47:33
◼
►
working hard and striving every day to
[TS]
00:47:37
◼
►
do the best job I can with the with the
[TS]
00:47:41
◼
►
constant friend with the constant
[TS]
00:47:43
◼
►
companion being the knowledge that i'm
[TS]
00:47:47
◼
►
not willing to do anything to win
[TS]
00:47:50
◼
►
and you know you know but not by
[TS]
00:47:53
◼
►
anything i mean you know when you do
[TS]
00:47:55
◼
►
like you know in yeah I I understand
[TS]
00:47:57
◼
►
what you mean
[TS]
00:47:57
◼
►
yeah and that at that that's the only
[TS]
00:47:59
◼
►
thing that gives me comfort right i mean
[TS]
00:48:01
◼
►
I will be I will like the anxiety will
[TS]
00:48:03
◼
►
well up in me to the point where I feel
[TS]
00:48:07
◼
►
like I have never felt so bad it's just
[TS]
00:48:12
◼
►
a terrible anxiety is a terrible
[TS]
00:48:14
◼
►
terrible feeling her and a and it will
[TS]
00:48:18
◼
►
it rises up and I feel so so so bad and
[TS]
00:48:22
◼
►
then I just say you know i'm not trying
[TS]
00:48:26
◼
►
to I'm not trying to win i'm trying to
[TS]
00:48:29
◼
►
do something else and you know I'm
[TS]
00:48:33
◼
►
trying to help
[TS]
00:48:34
◼
►
um and and that's that's getting me down
[TS]
00:48:40
◼
►
the road you know my pipe right I talked
[TS]
00:48:42
◼
►
to my mom the other day and she said I
[TS]
00:48:44
◼
►
was looking for sympathy first mistake
[TS]
00:48:47
◼
►
and she said you've had worse months
[TS]
00:48:51
◼
►
than this I was like mom that's not
[TS]
00:48:54
◼
►
helpful i need i need support
[TS]
00:48:57
◼
►
she was like that is support you've had
[TS]
00:48:59
◼
►
worse months than this you survived
[TS]
00:49:00
◼
►
worse than this so survive it
[TS]
00:49:05
◼
►
Wow no borders no quarter and I was like
[TS]
00:49:09
◼
►
she's right i have had worse months than
[TS]
00:49:12
◼
►
this and i have survived them and that
[TS]
00:49:17
◼
►
is good advice and that is a way of but
[TS]
00:49:20
◼
►
you know that's very different than like
[TS]
00:49:22
◼
►
you've gotta win
[TS]
00:49:24
◼
►
yeah I man i'm sorry that this is as
[TS]
00:49:30
◼
►
hard as it is the I mean I know you knew
[TS]
00:49:34
◼
►
going into this that were smarter than
[TS]
00:49:36
◼
►
yeah yay this is there also a practical
[TS]
00:49:40
◼
►
side to this though where I don't know
[TS]
00:49:42
◼
►
when you think about being this is not
[TS]
00:49:45
◼
►
just a true of a candidate with anybody
[TS]
00:49:47
◼
►
like if you're desperate to have some
[TS]
00:49:49
◼
►
thing and it's starting to seem less and
[TS]
00:49:52
◼
►
less likely that you're going to be able
[TS]
00:49:54
◼
►
to get it
[TS]
00:49:55
◼
►
there's a constant and growing
[TS]
00:49:57
◼
►
temptation to do or attempt more radical
[TS]
00:50:01
◼
►
things in order to get that thing
[TS]
00:50:04
◼
►
and this is what i worry about from my
[TS]
00:50:06
◼
►
opponents was right well here's what I
[TS]
00:50:09
◼
►
think about that also is that you know
[TS]
00:50:11
◼
►
that it's almost like I'm trying to
[TS]
00:50:14
◼
►
imagine like somebody who thinks they
[TS]
00:50:15
◼
►
can defend themselves by doing some kind
[TS]
00:50:17
◼
►
of like Daniel karate kick and mainly
[TS]
00:50:21
◼
►
just blowing up their pants and landing
[TS]
00:50:22
◼
►
on their face
[TS]
00:50:23
◼
►
it's like you one might try the most
[TS]
00:50:25
◼
►
radical thing in the world and it just
[TS]
00:50:28
◼
►
makes things worse and when you're
[TS]
00:50:31
◼
►
getting advice from the outside from
[TS]
00:50:32
◼
►
people who are like go do this and go do
[TS]
00:50:34
◼
►
it must be hard to know I mean they're
[TS]
00:50:35
◼
►
obviously there must be something to
[TS]
00:50:37
◼
►
come along you know I'm never gonna do
[TS]
00:50:38
◼
►
that there's no way but other kinds of
[TS]
00:50:40
◼
►
things like you've talked about the the
[TS]
00:50:41
◼
►
siren song of getting involved in a
[TS]
00:50:43
◼
►
certain kind of negativity where you
[TS]
00:50:44
◼
►
respond to what other people have said
[TS]
00:50:46
◼
►
to show how you would do that
[TS]
00:50:47
◼
►
differently or whatever where you
[TS]
00:50:48
◼
►
basically jump into somebody's at
[TS]
00:50:49
◼
►
responses publicly to start going in and
[TS]
00:50:52
◼
►
wrestling around to show how you're
[TS]
00:50:54
◼
►
different or to like sort of monetize
[TS]
00:50:56
◼
►
the shot in front of somebody else's bad
[TS]
00:50:58
◼
►
day which is luring but like does that
[TS]
00:51:02
◼
►
actually helped is the problem you know
[TS]
00:51:05
◼
►
and and i think one of the worst and
[TS]
00:51:06
◼
►
most anxiety producing things is as you
[TS]
00:51:08
◼
►
feel like you're not getting closer to
[TS]
00:51:10
◼
►
what is that you want you consider more
[TS]
00:51:12
◼
►
and more crazy things in order to get
[TS]
00:51:13
◼
►
there isn't that is not part of the
[TS]
00:51:15
◼
►
problem and now in your case now you
[TS]
00:51:17
◼
►
feel like you're someone at risk because
[TS]
00:51:19
◼
►
somebody else might be in that position
[TS]
00:51:21
◼
►
well yeah but somebody else is really in
[TS]
00:51:25
◼
►
that position and you know and i can
[TS]
00:51:26
◼
►
hear the mantra that other people say to
[TS]
00:51:30
◼
►
themselves which is you know
[TS]
00:51:32
◼
►
particularly when it gets down to the
[TS]
00:51:35
◼
►
wire when they say you know when you
[TS]
00:51:38
◼
►
look back on this are you gonna feel
[TS]
00:51:39
◼
►
like you did everything that you could
[TS]
00:51:41
◼
►
have done
[TS]
00:51:41
◼
►
do you want to look back at this and and
[TS]
00:51:45
◼
►
feel like you you didn't pull out all
[TS]
00:51:47
◼
►
the stops and what that I think for a
[TS]
00:51:51
◼
►
lot of people means as you near the
[TS]
00:51:55
◼
►
finish line is if there's somebody
[TS]
00:51:58
◼
►
running abreast of you or running a
[TS]
00:52:00
◼
►
little bit ahead of you you triple
[TS]
00:52:02
◼
►
instead of running your own campaign as
[TS]
00:52:08
◼
►
well as you can and may the best man win
[TS]
00:52:13
◼
►
alright maybe you know you know and and
[TS]
00:52:16
◼
►
in in American politics
[TS]
00:52:18
◼
►
and politics I guess everywhere there's
[TS]
00:52:21
◼
►
that it's this healthy dose of like
[TS]
00:52:23
◼
►
here's my platform here's my campaign
[TS]
00:52:25
◼
►
and also did you ever see generally look
[TS]
00:52:29
◼
►
at the other guy didn't really notice
[TS]
00:52:31
◼
►
how you know
[TS]
00:52:33
◼
►
did you really notice I was knows a
[TS]
00:52:34
◼
►
little crooked like theirs theirs that
[TS]
00:52:38
◼
►
that aspect where it's presented as like
[TS]
00:52:42
◼
►
a fair comparison
[TS]
00:52:45
◼
►
you should look at the two two of us and
[TS]
00:52:47
◼
►
pick the best one but you know but all
[TS]
00:52:51
◼
►
this Swift boating all this extra
[TS]
00:52:53
◼
►
information about the other person that
[TS]
00:52:55
◼
►
isn't true that's the that is just
[TS]
00:52:57
◼
►
throwing handfuls of sand
[TS]
00:52:59
◼
►
yeah and you know it speaks to it speaks
[TS]
00:53:04
◼
►
to the fact that
[TS]
00:53:05
◼
►
yeah here's an interesting insight i had
[TS]
00:53:08
◼
►
recently which is that i have i have
[TS]
00:53:10
◼
►
quite a few friends in Seattle who are
[TS]
00:53:12
◼
►
old friends in friends more than 20
[TS]
00:53:16
◼
►
years who are active in the political
[TS]
00:53:19
◼
►
chatter there they'll never run for
[TS]
00:53:23
◼
►
office themselves but they are there
[TS]
00:53:24
◼
►
chatterers there on the internet there
[TS]
00:53:26
◼
►
put their public figures they're well
[TS]
00:53:29
◼
►
known as as members of a kind of like
[TS]
00:53:38
◼
►
yeah right the Intelligencia then the
[TS]
00:53:43
◼
►
nattering nabobs and although these
[TS]
00:53:48
◼
►
friends of mine are you know liberals in
[TS]
00:53:53
◼
►
every way they're on the wrong side of a
[TS]
00:53:55
◼
►
couple of issues they were both on the
[TS]
00:53:56
◼
►
wrong side of fifteen dollars an hour
[TS]
00:53:58
◼
►
minimum wage because they are business
[TS]
00:54:01
◼
►
their small business owners and they
[TS]
00:54:02
◼
►
didn't think about it they thought about
[TS]
00:54:04
◼
►
it from there from the terms of their
[TS]
00:54:06
◼
►
own bottom line rather than from the
[TS]
00:54:09
◼
►
long-term you know not just long-term
[TS]
00:54:12
◼
►
benefit of everybody but also like they
[TS]
00:54:15
◼
►
did not sense which way the political
[TS]
00:54:16
◼
►
winds were blowing
[TS]
00:54:18
◼
►
and they came out vocally against
[TS]
00:54:21
◼
►
fifteen dollars an hour at a time and I
[TS]
00:54:23
◼
►
think they both thought that they were
[TS]
00:54:25
◼
►
trying to be reasonable small business
[TS]
00:54:27
◼
►
people but they made public
[TS]
00:54:31
◼
►
pronouncements and then defended their
[TS]
00:54:33
◼
►
public pronouncements long after it was
[TS]
00:54:37
◼
►
clear that the the public wanted fifteen
[TS]
00:54:40
◼
►
dollars an hour and fifteen dollars an
[TS]
00:54:42
◼
►
hour was going to be good and that they
[TS]
00:54:44
◼
►
should have they should make up or they
[TS]
00:54:47
◼
►
should shut up or they should just you
[TS]
00:54:49
◼
►
know they should think about it and
[TS]
00:54:50
◼
►
change their minds
[TS]
00:54:53
◼
►
well so young political operatives of
[TS]
00:54:57
◼
►
which there are astonishingly large
[TS]
00:54:59
◼
►
number four right like there are so many
[TS]
00:55:02
◼
►
people in the their mid-twenties in the
[TS]
00:55:06
◼
►
political game and quite a few of them
[TS]
00:55:12
◼
►
have come up to me and said with a with
[TS]
00:55:14
◼
►
a like a sneer like a sneer and a spin a
[TS]
00:55:18
◼
►
and a and a smirk an ugly smirk have
[TS]
00:55:22
◼
►
said we're very concerned about your
[TS]
00:55:25
◼
►
relationship with these two guys and my
[TS]
00:55:30
◼
►
first response was like what do you mean
[TS]
00:55:32
◼
►
I've known those guys for 25 years
[TS]
00:55:34
◼
►
they're like my pals
[TS]
00:55:35
◼
►
well yeah but they're on the wrong side
[TS]
00:55:39
◼
►
of history there on the wrong side of
[TS]
00:55:42
◼
►
politics who and I go oh yeah right i
[TS]
00:55:45
◼
►
mean I totally disagree with them and I
[TS]
00:55:47
◼
►
disagreed with them at the time and any
[TS]
00:55:50
◼
►
right-thinking person disagrees with
[TS]
00:55:51
◼
►
them but now they're like damaged goods
[TS]
00:55:53
◼
►
well there but they're still my friend
[TS]
00:55:55
◼
►
alright lying right handed and and the
[TS]
00:56:00
◼
►
the ugly smirk was a way of
[TS]
00:56:04
◼
►
communicating that within the political
[TS]
00:56:07
◼
►
class it matters less what you say then
[TS]
00:56:13
◼
►
who your friends are
[TS]
00:56:15
◼
►
because among those people it is it's
[TS]
00:56:19
◼
►
considered a more reliable indicator of
[TS]
00:56:21
◼
►
what you're going to do
[TS]
00:56:25
◼
►
who your who your friends and associates
[TS]
00:56:27
◼
►
are then what you're babbling again your
[TS]
00:56:29
◼
►
back to that that issue that like at
[TS]
00:56:32
◼
►
least we know what to expect from this
[TS]
00:56:33
◼
►
guy that's right and so the print so
[TS]
00:56:35
◼
►
what I derived from that is that the
[TS]
00:56:37
◼
►
premise is the premise of of the
[TS]
00:56:40
◼
►
political class is that you are lying
[TS]
00:56:44
◼
►
when you say things and that what is
[TS]
00:56:49
◼
►
true is who you break bread with and
[TS]
00:56:54
◼
►
that was a that was a shock to me right
[TS]
00:56:57
◼
►
because I right I break bread with
[TS]
00:56:59
◼
►
everybody and it felt like the whole
[TS]
00:57:03
◼
►
break bread with that becomes kind of a
[TS]
00:57:04
◼
►
dog whistle were like if you want to
[TS]
00:57:06
◼
►
really know what this person is up to
[TS]
00:57:07
◼
►
look his look is on there
[TS]
00:57:09
◼
►
look who there that's right now with
[TS]
00:57:11
◼
►
who's that that's telegraphing a lot
[TS]
00:57:13
◼
►
more to people than what you say that
[TS]
00:57:15
◼
►
you're so that is it's a kind of
[TS]
00:57:16
◼
►
cynicism to say like what we know
[TS]
00:57:18
◼
►
everybody says what needs to be said
[TS]
00:57:19
◼
►
that day but let's look over time and
[TS]
00:57:21
◼
►
who they are they spending time with
[TS]
00:57:22
◼
►
yeah let's look at who their donors are
[TS]
00:57:25
◼
►
let's look at who there
[TS]
00:57:27
◼
►
whoo-hoo speaks on their behalf on
[TS]
00:57:29
◼
►
facebook you know that's how you judge
[TS]
00:57:32
◼
►
where a person stands and it's and I i
[TS]
00:57:38
◼
►
guess for most people who are running
[TS]
00:57:40
◼
►
for office they've been thinking about
[TS]
00:57:43
◼
►
this their whole adult lives right there
[TS]
00:57:46
◼
►
that that they have always made sure
[TS]
00:57:48
◼
►
that their friends are the right kind of
[TS]
00:57:50
◼
►
friends or they've all they only
[TS]
00:57:52
◼
►
associate with people within a narrow
[TS]
00:57:55
◼
►
band of of on the political spectrum and
[TS]
00:58:00
◼
►
in the in the the work that we do but
[TS]
00:58:03
◼
►
somebody like me who spent his whole
[TS]
00:58:05
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career in his whole life like sitting
[TS]
00:58:08
◼
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down at a table with everybody and a lot
[TS]
00:58:13
◼
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of them I a lot of them are people that
[TS]
00:58:15
◼
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I love that I think are reprehensible
[TS]
00:58:18
◼
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for the idea that you know that that my
[TS]
00:58:26
◼
►
friendship with them would somehow
[TS]
00:58:29
◼
►
compromised my my ability to to stand up
[TS]
00:58:36
◼
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to them and to everybody and say
[TS]
00:58:38
◼
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no here's the right course clearly like
[TS]
00:58:41
◼
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this is the like my friends are over
[TS]
00:58:43
◼
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here yelling but my friends are
[TS]
00:58:45
◼
►
ding-a-lings there's the ears the
[TS]
00:58:47
◼
►
politically like correct decision and
[TS]
00:58:53
◼
►
that is on that is that is foreign or or
[TS]
00:58:58
◼
►
I guess you know like have definitely
[TS]
00:59:01
◼
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like non-traditional and-and-and-and-and
[TS]
00:59:04
◼
►
very suspicious to these to these people
[TS]
00:59:08
◼
►
who think that that think that the
[TS]
00:59:10
◼
►
languages is is a certain way and what
[TS]
00:59:13
◼
►
is what has been astonishing are
[TS]
00:59:15
◼
►
startling to me is that the idea that
[TS]
00:59:18
◼
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the candidate is lying is presupposed by
[TS]
00:59:25
◼
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is by these up political operatives who
[TS]
00:59:29
◼
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who are some in some ways self-appointed
[TS]
00:59:33
◼
►
and in some ways see themselves as the
[TS]
00:59:35
◼
►
gatekeepers of this of the of the
[TS]
00:59:38
◼
►
operation the system and also the only
[TS]
00:59:40
◼
►
way that one could assume or infer that
[TS]
00:59:43
◼
►
everybody else is a liar is to first
[TS]
00:59:45
◼
►
understand and believe and accept that
[TS]
00:59:47
◼
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the one is a liar
[TS]
00:59:49
◼
►
that is right that is so it's the same
[TS]
00:59:50
◼
►
if my same beef with hypocrisy that the
[TS]
00:59:53
◼
►
people who are most obsessed with
[TS]
00:59:54
◼
►
hypocrisy attend either be active
[TS]
00:59:56
◼
►
hypocrites for people who just sit
[TS]
00:59:58
◼
►
around waiting to be shown as a
[TS]
00:59:59
◼
►
hypocrite
[TS]
00:59:59
◼
►
hypocrite
[TS]
01:00:00
◼
►
Fred yeah and so the way it takes a
[TS]
01:00:02
◼
►
certain knows what it takes one to know
[TS]
01:00:03
◼
►
one kind of thing like you're always
[TS]
01:00:04
◼
►
sniffing around to be able to expose
[TS]
01:00:06
◼
►
somebody who has the same flaws and
[TS]
01:00:08
◼
►
vulnerabilities that you know you have
[TS]
01:00:09
◼
►
and these are the people leaning in
[TS]
01:00:12
◼
►
whispering advice to me conspiratorial
[TS]
01:00:14
◼
►
like these are the people who see
[TS]
01:00:18
◼
►
themselves as the in a lot of ways like
[TS]
01:00:22
◼
►
they present themselves as the beacons
[TS]
01:00:24
◼
►
of integrity they know that they know
[TS]
01:00:27
◼
►
the the the right decision and and they
[TS]
01:00:30
◼
►
are judging whether the candidates live
[TS]
01:00:32
◼
►
up to this expectation but then they
[TS]
01:00:35
◼
►
reveal that they are liars because they
[TS]
01:00:37
◼
►
presume everyone else is a liar and then
[TS]
01:00:39
◼
►
you realize like oh wow it is it's very
[TS]
01:00:45
◼
►
hard to to enter into this world and not
[TS]
01:00:52
◼
►
agree to to be a liar and not agree to
[TS]
01:01:01
◼
►
you not agree to presume that the other
[TS]
01:01:06
◼
►
guys lying not agree to presume that the
[TS]
01:01:10
◼
►
that who your friends are says more
[TS]
01:01:12
◼
►
about how you're going to vote then what
[TS]
01:01:14
◼
►
you say um and and and ultimately like
[TS]
01:01:18
◼
►
not agree that having an answer to
[TS]
01:01:23
◼
►
everything is better than being willing
[TS]
01:01:26
◼
►
to a to consider all the arguments and
[TS]
01:01:33
◼
►
it's a and and so there's a month left
[TS]
01:01:37
◼
►
before the primary and every day I have
[TS]
01:01:40
◼
►
to wake up and reaffirm these things and
[TS]
01:01:45
◼
►
reaffirming them is reaffirming them is
[TS]
01:01:51
◼
►
what allows me to get out of bed and go
[TS]
01:01:52
◼
►
through the process and it's so it's so
[TS]
01:01:57
◼
►
divorced from winning from trying to win
[TS]
01:02:01
◼
►
from doing whatever it takes to win that
[TS]
01:02:05
◼
►
I feel like I'm running a like i'm i'm
[TS]
01:02:09
◼
►
i'm running a race
[TS]
01:02:11
◼
►
but somehow i'm on though like I the the
[TS]
01:02:15
◼
►
other candidates are running on the
[TS]
01:02:17
◼
►
track and I'm up in the stands running
[TS]
01:02:19
◼
►
around like they're on the road and
[TS]
01:02:22
◼
►
you're in the dirt
[TS]
01:02:23
◼
►
sort of yeah writer I'm like running I'm
[TS]
01:02:26
◼
►
running through the trees and swinging
[TS]
01:02:27
◼
►
through the trees or I'm i'm flying
[TS]
01:02:30
◼
►
overhead and original that I made myself
[TS]
01:02:32
◼
►
it's like if you're Mario Kart goes on
[TS]
01:02:33
◼
►
the rough part of the tracks not gonna
[TS]
01:02:35
◼
►
go as fast so so I don't know you know
[TS]
01:02:38
◼
►
and i can i keep saying to the people
[TS]
01:02:39
◼
►
closest to me like in a month i will
[TS]
01:02:42
◼
►
either have made it through the primary
[TS]
01:02:45
◼
►
where which point I will have won an
[TS]
01:02:47
◼
►
election a kind of an election you know
[TS]
01:02:50
◼
►
i will have won my first public vote and
[TS]
01:02:54
◼
►
that will confirm that people that the
[TS]
01:02:59
◼
►
public doesn't play by the same rules as
[TS]
01:03:02
◼
►
the political class and that i was able
[TS]
01:03:05
◼
►
to reach the public and that ultimately
[TS]
01:03:08
◼
►
the rules of the political class apply
[TS]
01:03:12
◼
►
only if you allow if you allow them to
[TS]
01:03:16
◼
►
or i will lose in the primary at which
[TS]
01:03:20
◼
►
point it proves that the political class
[TS]
01:03:22
◼
►
knows how knows how the game is played
[TS]
01:03:24
◼
►
and that is how the game is played and
[TS]
01:03:27
◼
►
the public does not the public makes
[TS]
01:03:31
◼
►
choices basis based on the political
[TS]
01:03:33
◼
►
class and then that will be very
[TS]
01:03:38
◼
►
instructive and very profound come back
[TS]
01:03:48
◼
►
the old thing that where you I don't
[TS]
01:03:49
◼
►
allow yourself to to celebrate victories
[TS]
01:03:51
◼
►
for more than a couple minutes
[TS]
01:03:53
◼
►
yeah you've already kinda night yourself
[TS]
01:03:55
◼
►
the joy of winning this of inhabitants
[TS]
01:03:56
◼
►
well kool-aid man I didn't say if I one
[TS]
01:04:01
◼
►
that I was going to buy myself a pair of
[TS]
01:04:02
◼
►
shoes if I make it through the primary
[TS]
01:04:05
◼
►
money get a pair of shoes and my mom
[TS]
01:04:07
◼
►
used to do with me clean my room again
[TS]
01:04:08
◼
►
Batman costume is it working
[TS]
01:04:10
◼
►
ru ru you feeling like you're motivated
[TS]
01:04:14
◼
►
to cut something out of a catalog and
[TS]
01:04:15
◼
►
put it up how many how many Batman
[TS]
01:04:16
◼
►
costume did you end up with never got it
[TS]
01:04:18
◼
►
couldn't keep my room clean
[TS]
01:04:19
◼
►
oh really OIC so it was a sliding scale
[TS]
01:04:22
◼
►
it was a like a
[TS]
01:04:23
◼
►
still see it I can still see in my head
[TS]
01:04:25
◼
►
we had a piece of posterboard we cut it
[TS]
01:04:27
◼
►
out i think there was some checking off
[TS]
01:04:29
◼
►
of boxes into this the perfect kind of
[TS]
01:04:32
◼
►
textbook way to encourage a hopelessly
[TS]
01:04:35
◼
►
messy and careless child to to get good
[TS]
01:04:38
◼
►
at equal cut it out of the Sears catalog
[TS]
01:04:39
◼
►
it was exactly the bat but the branded
[TS]
01:04:42
◼
►
Batman costume that I wanted and I
[TS]
01:04:44
◼
►
really I really really wanted it but
[TS]
01:04:46
◼
►
apparently not enough that i would clean
[TS]
01:04:47
◼
►
my room and how how many times did you
[TS]
01:04:51
◼
►
have to clean your room do you think if
[TS]
01:04:52
◼
►
you look back
[TS]
01:04:54
◼
►
how how how long would you have needed
[TS]
01:04:56
◼
►
to keep your room clean to my head was
[TS]
01:04:58
◼
►
suppose a month but it was probably more
[TS]
01:05:00
◼
►
like a week straight or something
[TS]
01:05:02
◼
►
it's just that I I never hit those goals
[TS]
01:05:06
◼
►
yeah yeah yeah did I ever tell you the
[TS]
01:05:09
◼
►
story about the time that my mom told me
[TS]
01:05:11
◼
►
to clean my room and I put all my toys
[TS]
01:05:13
◼
►
in the closet and shut the door
[TS]
01:05:14
◼
►
mmm i can guess how that turned out
[TS]
01:05:17
◼
►
nobody ever told you the story you might
[TS]
01:05:18
◼
►
have tell it again
[TS]
01:05:19
◼
►
yeah and then she came in and she looked
[TS]
01:05:20
◼
►
round she was like a good job and then
[TS]
01:05:22
◼
►
she opened the closet and saw the toys
[TS]
01:05:23
◼
►
in there and she jumped in the closet
[TS]
01:05:26
◼
►
and jumped up and down all right i do
[TS]
01:05:28
◼
►
remember this all because little pieces
[TS]
01:05:30
◼
►
she's not a large woman must take a lot
[TS]
01:05:34
◼
►
of jumping well you know kids toys right
[TS]
01:05:36
◼
►
i mean it back in truth and oh my gosh
[TS]
01:05:40
◼
►
that's the worst motivations hard John
[TS]
01:05:42
◼
►
its ramifications ramifications
[TS]
01:05:44
◼
►
motivation is difficult it's difficult
[TS]
01:05:46
◼
►
for me to figure out it's difficult for
[TS]
01:05:48
◼
►
me to provide everybody gets motivated
[TS]
01:05:52
◼
►
by such different things
[TS]
01:05:53
◼
►
what are you motivated by fear
[TS]
01:05:57
◼
►
ya know honestly like as far as like
[TS]
01:05:58
◼
►
would do as far as a motivational I
[TS]
01:06:00
◼
►
think fear is I think that's how we have
[TS]
01:06:02
◼
►
no no but it's also clarity it takes a
[TS]
01:06:05
◼
►
certain amount of clarity it depends
[TS]
01:06:07
◼
►
like what i think of the stuff that i
[TS]
01:06:08
◼
►
like that i'm doing or do well it's just
[TS]
01:06:10
◼
►
like there is something nice like today
[TS]
01:06:12
◼
►
you know we have a podcast we will
[TS]
01:06:14
◼
►
record this i will edit this i will put
[TS]
01:06:16
◼
►
it together
[TS]
01:06:17
◼
►
that's a good feeling for me I like that
[TS]
01:06:18
◼
►
I feel very motivated to do that
[TS]
01:06:20
◼
►
particular kind of work because I do
[TS]
01:06:22
◼
►
actually really enjoy it as far as
[TS]
01:06:24
◼
►
motivation it'sit's hard as motivation
[TS]
01:06:26
◼
►
such a slippery word because it
[TS]
01:06:27
◼
►
encompasses so many different kinds of
[TS]
01:06:29
◼
►
things that that aren't really
[TS]
01:06:32
◼
►
motivating right it's it's more like
[TS]
01:06:34
◼
►
what are you running away from rather
[TS]
01:06:35
◼
►
like what are you running to war
[TS]
01:06:37
◼
►
so I don't know it's funny because I I
[TS]
01:06:39
◼
►
do feel like you know one way that I am
[TS]
01:06:42
◼
►
a simple and and fault tolerant person
[TS]
01:06:48
◼
►
is that I do my best when I'm feeling
[TS]
01:06:50
◼
►
good about what I'm doing and when I
[TS]
01:06:51
◼
►
feel like you know I'm succeeding and
[TS]
01:06:53
◼
►
things like that you know from there are
[TS]
01:06:55
◼
►
other people who love being down in the
[TS]
01:06:57
◼
►
they love you know that feeling of like
[TS]
01:06:59
◼
►
oh I can power through this and you know
[TS]
01:07:01
◼
►
i'm good at that sometimes I don't know
[TS]
01:07:03
◼
►
it's hard to know I did this is this is
[TS]
01:07:06
◼
►
a good question what motivates you
[TS]
01:07:10
◼
►
you're not supposed to exhale when you
[TS]
01:07:14
◼
►
ask but you know what motivates me
[TS]
01:07:18
◼
►
um I mean that's the that's what's so
[TS]
01:07:22
◼
►
wonderful about having done this podcast
[TS]
01:07:25
◼
►
now for a hundred and fifty plus
[TS]
01:07:28
◼
►
episodes is that it is it's one of those
[TS]
01:07:31
◼
►
rare things that is its own reward
[TS]
01:07:36
◼
►
who and what has always motivated me is
[TS]
01:07:40
◼
►
the is the hope that I would discover a
[TS]
01:07:44
◼
►
life which was its own reward and the
[TS]
01:07:48
◼
►
feeling that the expectation that that
[TS]
01:07:51
◼
►
that life should be its own reward
[TS]
01:07:55
◼
►
and that's why why I've had such a
[TS]
01:08:01
◼
►
complicated relationship with work my
[TS]
01:08:03
◼
►
whole life because the because i watched
[TS]
01:08:08
◼
►
the adults in my life really practice at
[TS]
01:08:13
◼
►
really practice the be the belief that
[TS]
01:08:20
◼
►
work was this thing that you did in
[TS]
01:08:23
◼
►
order to provide opportunity to provide
[TS]
01:08:29
◼
►
opportunities for pleasure or relaxation
[TS]
01:08:31
◼
►
later you know that have that yeah kinda
[TS]
01:08:36
◼
►
kind of a Protestant work ethic idea
[TS]
01:08:38
◼
►
Yeah right there there was no sense that
[TS]
01:08:40
◼
►
that work was its own reward that life
[TS]
01:08:42
◼
►
was its own reward
[TS]
01:08:44
◼
►
even though i'm sure that it was
[TS]
01:08:46
◼
►
I'm sure that the adults in in my life
[TS]
01:08:50
◼
►
when I was a kid were enjoying the
[TS]
01:08:53
◼
►
challenges of work and the teachers in
[TS]
01:08:56
◼
►
my school were enjoy you know where were
[TS]
01:08:59
◼
►
we're we're teaching us that we could go
[TS]
01:09:04
◼
►
to work and enjoy it but I don't
[TS]
01:09:06
◼
►
remember anyone in school saying you
[TS]
01:09:11
◼
►
know you're gonna find a job that you're
[TS]
01:09:12
◼
►
going to love nobody nobody would ever
[TS]
01:09:15
◼
►
put that anywhere near the top of the
[TS]
01:09:17
◼
►
I knew it was much more the way that
[TS]
01:09:19
◼
►
people treated being married and in
[TS]
01:09:21
◼
►
another decade or century which is like
[TS]
01:09:23
◼
►
well you need to get along with this
[TS]
01:09:25
◼
►
person and if things work out well
[TS]
01:09:27
◼
►
youyou might be kind of in love for a
[TS]
01:09:29
◼
►
long time but it was but I mean anybody
[TS]
01:09:31
◼
►
sensible would say well you know don't
[TS]
01:09:32
◼
►
just marry the first person you have a
[TS]
01:09:34
◼
►
crush on this is this is work right in
[TS]
01:09:36
◼
►
that sense but the e-cigarette well a
[TS]
01:09:39
◼
►
nap and I think I mean in a way we were
[TS]
01:09:43
◼
►
the first generation that didn't marry
[TS]
01:09:45
◼
►
the first person they had a crush on
[TS]
01:09:47
◼
►
right that was it that was a new ya
[TS]
01:09:49
◼
►
around a new thought technology for us
[TS]
01:09:51
◼
►
even the even the baby boomers they
[TS]
01:09:55
◼
►
rebelled against it but the way they
[TS]
01:09:57
◼
►
were taught by my mom found it doubly
[TS]
01:09:59
◼
►
confounding and now may I see why my mom
[TS]
01:10:02
◼
►
being somebody who graduated from high
[TS]
01:10:03
◼
►
school in 1952 I believe 5256 maybe you
[TS]
01:10:10
◼
►
have my 56 but anyway but she found two
[TS]
01:10:12
◼
►
things that now I realize why she
[TS]
01:10:13
◼
►
finally on the one hand she thought it
[TS]
01:10:15
◼
►
was so strange that that I and all of my
[TS]
01:10:17
◼
►
friends everybody I knew nobody knew
[TS]
01:10:19
◼
►
dated to me there was no such thing as
[TS]
01:10:21
◼
►
dating when I was in high school that
[TS]
01:10:23
◼
►
seemed weird and slutty to me that I
[TS]
01:10:25
◼
►
would be somebody who would go out and
[TS]
01:10:27
◼
►
like even if it was just going to the
[TS]
01:10:29
◼
►
skating rink I did not know anybody who
[TS]
01:10:30
◼
►
went on dates in the conventional cell
[TS]
01:10:33
◼
►
went out together as again
[TS]
01:10:35
◼
►
well that could be it but the funny this
[TS]
01:10:37
◼
►
is this is the weird irony is that for
[TS]
01:10:39
◼
►
me it was more like getting a girlfriend
[TS]
01:10:41
◼
►
or someone is getting a boyfriend or
[TS]
01:10:42
◼
►
whatever it was it was this like it this
[TS]
01:10:45
◼
►
constant yearning for stable monogamy
[TS]
01:10:49
◼
►
when I was in high school junior high
[TS]
01:10:51
◼
►
no dice there but let's just say high
[TS]
01:10:53
◼
►
school on the one hand like so much like
[TS]
01:10:55
◼
►
you know serial monogamy where you
[TS]
01:10:57
◼
►
nobody would date you would have a
[TS]
01:10:58
◼
►
boyfriend/girlfriend need break up
[TS]
01:11:00
◼
►
anytime you have another boyfriend
[TS]
01:11:01
◼
►
girlfriend and then did the normal state
[TS]
01:11:03
◼
►
was your either seeking that person from
[TS]
01:11:05
◼
►
monogamy or you're in the monogamous
[TS]
01:11:07
◼
►
not everybody but i would say the vast
[TS]
01:11:09
◼
►
majority of people i knew that that's
[TS]
01:11:11
◼
►
what they wanted that's what they
[TS]
01:11:12
◼
►
sometimes God but at the same time I had
[TS]
01:11:14
◼
►
zero interest in getting married and I
[TS]
01:11:16
◼
►
thought that was really weird I thought
[TS]
01:11:17
◼
►
was very strange so my mom thought was
[TS]
01:11:19
◼
►
strange that i wasn't like trying to you
[TS]
01:11:20
◼
►
know meet more people do different
[TS]
01:11:21
◼
►
things you know be exposed in people
[TS]
01:11:23
◼
►
from different places maybe not from
[TS]
01:11:24
◼
►
school no interest to me like I wanted
[TS]
01:11:26
◼
►
that girl in my class to like me and
[TS]
01:11:28
◼
►
then be my girlfriend
[TS]
01:11:29
◼
►
whereas then of course like her
[TS]
01:11:31
◼
►
generation it was all about getting
[TS]
01:11:33
◼
►
married and nothing my mom was some kind
[TS]
01:11:35
◼
►
of automaton or something but i think
[TS]
01:11:36
◼
►
that was really expected of people was
[TS]
01:11:38
◼
►
that you're going to get married you're
[TS]
01:11:40
◼
►
going to have kids and just look at the
[TS]
01:11:41
◼
►
questions that anybody under 30 kids ask
[TS]
01:11:43
◼
►
look at the cascade of questions and I
[TS]
01:11:46
◼
►
really felt this in Florida big time I
[TS]
01:11:48
◼
►
mean first we know do you have a
[TS]
01:11:49
◼
►
girlfriend when you're okay are you
[TS]
01:11:51
◼
►
gonna get engaged
[TS]
01:11:52
◼
►
ok gonna get married and have a kid and
[TS]
01:11:55
◼
►
you can have three more kids like
[TS]
01:11:56
◼
►
nobody's ever satisfied with the
[TS]
01:11:58
◼
►
progress on becoming the person they'd
[TS]
01:11:59
◼
►
like you to be you're never far enough
[TS]
01:12:01
◼
►
along so anyway I'm just saying I my
[TS]
01:12:03
◼
►
eyes I see my mom's point of view now
[TS]
01:12:05
◼
►
and I see the the paradox of that that
[TS]
01:12:07
◼
►
creating all this monogamy at a time i'm
[TS]
01:12:09
◼
►
supposed to be exposed to all these
[TS]
01:12:11
◼
►
different people now and continue then
[TS]
01:12:13
◼
►
after high school but i never was into
[TS]
01:12:15
◼
►
the idea of dating it seemed like a lot
[TS]
01:12:16
◼
►
of overhead
[TS]
01:12:17
◼
►
oh my god but ended so what's your story
[TS]
01:12:21
◼
►
uh like you're like for example with
[TS]
01:12:24
◼
►
your parents like what did you if I
[TS]
01:12:25
◼
►
could ask where did your parents meet oh
[TS]
01:12:28
◼
►
you know my mom my mom was in college
[TS]
01:12:32
◼
►
no no you know my dad was 44 solar ya
[TS]
01:12:35
◼
►
right ya know my dad was already
[TS]
01:12:38
◼
►
divorced from his first wife and he had
[TS]
01:12:41
◼
►
three kids and was living in seattle and
[TS]
01:12:44
◼
►
was kind of a player here in the in the
[TS]
01:12:48
◼
►
legal world in the political world sort
[TS]
01:12:51
◼
►
of big man on campus right in and my mom
[TS]
01:12:54
◼
►
was had graduated from Ohio State and
[TS]
01:13:00
◼
►
was living in columbus and you are
[TS]
01:13:04
◼
►
living a pretty high style mad men era
[TS]
01:13:08
◼
►
life she worked at a television station
[TS]
01:13:11
◼
►
she knew a lot of people in the arts
[TS]
01:13:14
◼
►
world and you know when her boyfriend
[TS]
01:13:17
◼
►
was Jewish and so she was part of a sort
[TS]
01:13:20
◼
►
of Jewish a subculture in ohio which is
[TS]
01:13:25
◼
►
a huge you know huge subculture there at
[TS]
01:13:28
◼
►
that's that's sort of the way she's
[TS]
01:13:31
◼
►
always described its you know funnier
[TS]
01:13:33
◼
►
and more little racier a little more
[TS]
01:13:36
◼
►
artistic than your normal columbus crowd
[TS]
01:13:39
◼
►
and they all drove foreign sports cars
[TS]
01:13:42
◼
►
which in the fifties were very exotic
[TS]
01:13:45
◼
►
you know Morgan's and Austin Healey's
[TS]
01:13:48
◼
►
and that was kind of hircine and then
[TS]
01:13:53
◼
►
she decided that she wanted to see the
[TS]
01:13:55
◼
►
world and she loaded everything in her
[TS]
01:13:57
◼
►
53 Chevy and I'm not sure it's a 53
[TS]
01:14:04
◼
►
Chevy I have a picture of it on my
[TS]
01:14:05
◼
►
mantel i'm pretty sure something like
[TS]
01:14:06
◼
►
that and she headed west to and her
[TS]
01:14:12
◼
►
first up was Seattle because she was
[TS]
01:14:14
◼
►
going to visit a friend and then she was
[TS]
01:14:17
◼
►
gonna head down to san francisco and
[TS]
01:14:19
◼
►
then all points beyond right then she's
[TS]
01:14:23
◼
►
going to get on a ship and go to Japan
[TS]
01:14:24
◼
►
and you know and around the world
[TS]
01:14:27
◼
►
sounds like up yeah like you know like
[TS]
01:14:30
◼
►
she she she was the first she was the
[TS]
01:14:32
◼
►
kind of the only person from her little
[TS]
01:14:35
◼
►
group to get out of her small town and
[TS]
01:14:37
◼
►
then she was leaving columbus in the
[TS]
01:14:40
◼
►
same way like I'm gonna go see the world
[TS]
01:14:42
◼
►
i'm not going to be tied down to Ohio
[TS]
01:14:44
◼
►
and she showed up in Seattle and her
[TS]
01:14:48
◼
►
friend she met up with her friend and
[TS]
01:14:50
◼
►
her friend was dating a guy and that guy
[TS]
01:14:52
◼
►
brought along his friend my dad as a
[TS]
01:14:57
◼
►
blind date for for this girl that was
[TS]
01:15:03
◼
►
coming from Ohio and they started to
[TS]
01:15:07
◼
►
date and my dad I think i guess i'm at a
[TS]
01:15:14
◼
►
certain point she became his legal
[TS]
01:15:15
◼
►
secretary she was working for the Alaska
[TS]
01:15:17
◼
►
steamship company for a while but they
[TS]
01:15:20
◼
►
you know they had a
[TS]
01:15:22
◼
►
like a courtship late fifties style my
[TS]
01:15:26
◼
►
dad had a Jaguar so it fit in with her
[TS]
01:15:31
◼
►
foreign car like culture and he was a
[TS]
01:15:38
◼
►
lawyer and dependable and a politician
[TS]
01:15:41
◼
►
and you know she describes seattle at
[TS]
01:15:44
◼
►
the time in the for the late fifties is
[TS]
01:15:46
◼
►
pretty small town and my dad knew
[TS]
01:15:48
◼
►
everybody and he was one of these guys
[TS]
01:15:50
◼
►
that you know you'd get on a boat you
[TS]
01:15:52
◼
►
get on a steamship and dad would just
[TS]
01:15:56
◼
►
sort of waltz into the bridge introduced
[TS]
01:15:58
◼
►
himself to the captain and pretty soon
[TS]
01:16:01
◼
►
you know my mom would be steering the
[TS]
01:16:03
◼
►
boat for her because you know dad just
[TS]
01:16:06
◼
►
had that so like really about you hit
[TS]
01:16:07
◼
►
like Ray Liotta you know walking into
[TS]
01:16:09
◼
►
the club
[TS]
01:16:10
◼
►
yeah exactly just sort of he just so you
[TS]
01:16:14
◼
►
know he waltzed around but also he my
[TS]
01:16:17
◼
►
dad you know they were on weekends they
[TS]
01:16:18
◼
►
would go drive around the northwest and
[TS]
01:16:21
◼
►
so they they saw all the you know Grand
[TS]
01:16:25
◼
►
Coulee Dam and all these things them as
[TS]
01:16:29
◼
►
part of their courtship and he was
[TS]
01:16:33
◼
►
drinking at the time i mean it was
[TS]
01:16:34
◼
►
variable one I told you I think that my
[TS]
01:16:38
◼
►
mom tried to watch Mad Men and she
[TS]
01:16:41
◼
►
couldn't watch it after a couple of
[TS]
01:16:43
◼
►
episodes because all she could tell she
[TS]
01:16:46
◼
►
could see was all the details that
[TS]
01:16:47
◼
►
they've gotten wrong but you know that
[TS]
01:16:51
◼
►
that first two seasons of mad men was
[TS]
01:16:53
◼
►
really the era exactly the era when my
[TS]
01:16:57
◼
►
mom and dad met and you know him he was
[TS]
01:17:00
◼
►
a successful lawyer and politician and
[TS]
01:17:02
◼
►
so but he was already divorced and she
[TS]
01:17:06
◼
►
was a very independent-minded woman she
[TS]
01:17:09
◼
►
was not gonna do
[TS]
01:17:11
◼
►
she wasn't going to do what was expected
[TS]
01:17:15
◼
►
and yet even so the pressure the social
[TS]
01:17:20
◼
►
pressure of the sixties who was still
[TS]
01:17:23
◼
►
intact and it still put them together in
[TS]
01:17:26
◼
►
a marriage where even though my mom was
[TS]
01:17:30
◼
►
effectively like a
[TS]
01:17:32
◼
►
like a a mage level account
[TS]
01:17:36
◼
►
my father was in charge of the checkbook
[TS]
01:17:39
◼
►
and my father was somebody that you know
[TS]
01:17:42
◼
►
if you if you if you put him in a room
[TS]
01:17:44
◼
►
and you said here's a cupcake but if you
[TS]
01:17:47
◼
►
can wait for an hour you get two
[TS]
01:17:48
◼
►
cupcakes you would open the door in 30
[TS]
01:17:51
◼
►
seconds and my dad would be covered in
[TS]
01:17:53
◼
►
cupcake frosting and that inhabited
[TS]
01:17:56
◼
►
stripped off all his clothes so there
[TS]
01:18:00
◼
►
was no you know so those the the social
[TS]
01:18:04
◼
►
expectations the gender roles even
[TS]
01:18:07
◼
►
though both of my folks were so
[TS]
01:18:09
◼
►
independent minded they couldn't escape
[TS]
01:18:11
◼
►
the the gravity of those roles in that
[TS]
01:18:15
◼
►
time and you know and as soon as the
[TS]
01:18:18
◼
►
seventies arrived and there were social
[TS]
01:18:22
◼
►
movements that allowed my mom to achieve
[TS]
01:18:24
◼
►
escape velocity like she took that route
[TS]
01:18:28
◼
►
as fast as she could and my dad was just
[TS]
01:18:32
◼
►
enough older that he never really fully
[TS]
01:18:34
◼
►
was able to to adapt I get the feeling
[TS]
01:18:41
◼
►
that this seems pretty broad but I get
[TS]
01:18:43
◼
►
the feeling that you know we can look at
[TS]
01:18:46
◼
►
the photos and we can look at the watch
[TS]
01:18:48
◼
►
the movies but it's I think it's
[TS]
01:18:50
◼
►
probably pretty hard to capture how we
[TS]
01:18:54
◼
►
can you know take a drink how much
[TS]
01:18:55
◼
►
Germany there was in the fifties just
[TS]
01:18:56
◼
►
how much how much people were not just
[TS]
01:18:59
◼
►
expected to like have a certain haircut
[TS]
01:19:00
◼
►
or drink a certain drink or whatever but
[TS]
01:19:02
◼
►
i think the part that gets left out is
[TS]
01:19:04
◼
►
you get that pressure from everybody
[TS]
01:19:06
◼
►
around you there's also constantly this
[TS]
01:19:08
◼
►
clock ticking like especially for a
[TS]
01:19:10
◼
►
woman and I i think it's easy to
[TS]
01:19:12
◼
►
overlook we see that the old gosh why
[TS]
01:19:13
◼
►
did you do that and the thing that's I
[TS]
01:19:15
◼
►
think sometimes difficult to articulate
[TS]
01:19:17
◼
►
is this sense that you're not where you
[TS]
01:19:18
◼
►
should be yet and it's starting to show
[TS]
01:19:20
◼
►
and the more that it starts to show the
[TS]
01:19:23
◼
►
harder it is to get where you're
[TS]
01:19:24
◼
►
supposed to be i know that's a pretty
[TS]
01:19:26
◼
►
sure that's true in venture capital
[TS]
01:19:27
◼
►
projects and I think that's probably
[TS]
01:19:29
◼
►
true for a lot of men and especially
[TS]
01:19:31
◼
►
women and in the fifties you know i mean
[TS]
01:19:33
◼
►
in my case my mom had a long story short
[TS]
01:19:36
◼
►
it took a long time for her to have a
[TS]
01:19:38
◼
►
kid took her you know 10 years of trying
[TS]
01:19:40
◼
►
and the idea of a woman of thirty having
[TS]
01:19:42
◼
►
her first baby was like the craziest
[TS]
01:19:44
◼
►
idea not the craziest but like it was
[TS]
01:19:46
◼
►
definitely pretty out there to be at
[TS]
01:19:48
◼
►
that advanced stage and having your
[TS]
01:19:49
◼
►
first child and which i think is
[TS]
01:19:51
◼
►
indicative of the kind of pressure
[TS]
01:19:52
◼
►
people felt was like even know try as
[TS]
01:19:54
◼
►
hard as you might you're swimming
[TS]
01:19:55
◼
►
against the stream there's this constant
[TS]
01:19:57
◼
►
pressure not only to be this way but
[TS]
01:19:58
◼
►
also the idea that like hey these
[TS]
01:20:00
◼
►
opportunities are not going to be there
[TS]
01:20:01
◼
►
forever you better you better get
[TS]
01:20:03
◼
►
yourself a new brazier put on some
[TS]
01:20:04
◼
►
lipstick and get out there
[TS]
01:20:07
◼
►
I mean I think about that every day I
[TS]
01:20:09
◼
►
mean I need to put on some lipstick roof
[TS]
01:20:13
◼
►
and get out there because i have
[TS]
01:20:18
◼
►
somebody said to me the other day it and
[TS]
01:20:21
◼
►
and it it was so arresting it was
[TS]
01:20:25
◼
►
another one of these young political
[TS]
01:20:27
◼
►
people and he was talking about you know
[TS]
01:20:32
◼
►
needing more diversity in the candidates
[TS]
01:20:35
◼
►
and and in that sense I'm very lucky
[TS]
01:20:38
◼
►
because i'm running in a race where it's
[TS]
01:20:41
◼
►
just for white guys and so I am the
[TS]
01:20:45
◼
►
diverse candidate but he you know he was
[TS]
01:20:50
◼
►
like we need more you know more gender
[TS]
01:20:52
◼
►
diversity more you know more racial
[TS]
01:20:58
◼
►
diversity and he kind of like gesture at
[TS]
01:21:03
◼
►
me and said and more age diversity and
[TS]
01:21:09
◼
►
oh my god
[TS]
01:21:11
◼
►
it took me a second to realize that what
[TS]
01:21:14
◼
►
he was saying was that i was the age of
[TS]
01:21:20
◼
►
a typical candidate and what we needed
[TS]
01:21:24
◼
►
was younger candidates I'm that man and
[TS]
01:21:28
◼
►
that being 35 was preferable to being 45
[TS]
01:21:34
◼
►
because um because something because
[TS]
01:21:40
◼
►
youth is the new that youth is also a
[TS]
01:21:44
◼
►
thing that is discriminated against and
[TS]
01:21:47
◼
►
I was like it and it did it took me a
[TS]
01:21:51
◼
►
second to realize that at
[TS]
01:21:54
◼
►
46 years old that I had I had crossed a
[TS]
01:21:59
◼
►
threshold to people in their twenties
[TS]
01:22:02
◼
►
where I was just an indeterminate age I
[TS]
01:22:05
◼
►
was some times when I was such a good
[TS]
01:22:07
◼
►
way to put it it's like it's a girl it's
[TS]
01:22:09
◼
►
almost like with little kids where
[TS]
01:22:11
◼
►
you've got kids that are there you
[TS]
01:22:12
◼
►
consider younger consider their age big
[TS]
01:22:14
◼
►
kids old kids adults and old people
[TS]
01:22:18
◼
►
yeah it's like there's no difference
[TS]
01:22:20
◼
►
between states 28 and 48 right and not
[TS]
01:22:25
◼
►
really a to a little kid there's not to
[TS]
01:22:28
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a twenty-eight-year-old a
[TS]
01:22:30
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twenty-eight-year-old still imagines
[TS]
01:22:32
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that they are an eighteen-year-old but
[TS]
01:22:35
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that 35 and older is is just old and and
[TS]
01:22:40
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you know and you you you you always are
[TS]
01:22:42
◼
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pushing back that curtain a little bit
[TS]
01:22:45
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but when you get to be 46 and you
[TS]
01:22:47
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realize like oh when I read in the
[TS]
01:22:49
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newspaper about somebody that's 50 years
[TS]
01:22:51
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old they're basically talking about the
[TS]
01:22:53
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people that were seniors in high school
[TS]
01:22:55
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when I was a freshman her and you know
[TS]
01:22:59
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and I am closer I'm closer to 60 then I
[TS]
01:23:02
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am 225 and yeah I that that is an act in
[TS]
01:23:11
◼
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some ways an accurate assessment and
[TS]
01:23:16
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that and yet we and again it's the it's
[TS]
01:23:20
◼
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the funny business of the the of the
[TS]
01:23:25
◼
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generations because my dad's generation
[TS]
01:23:29
◼
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you became an adult when you were 18 and
[TS]
01:23:35
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then you very very definitely joined a
[TS]
01:23:40
◼
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pool of adulthood where there wasn't
[TS]
01:23:43
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such a thing as young adults it was you
[TS]
01:23:47
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know you could be just starting out but
[TS]
01:23:49
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if you look at pictures of of people in
[TS]
01:23:52
◼
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their thirties in the nineteen thirties
[TS]
01:23:55
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they are trying desperately to look old
[TS]
01:23:57
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right right and it was really the baby
[TS]
01:24:00
◼
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boomers that were the first generation
[TS]
01:24:02
◼
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that made any distinction between being
[TS]
01:24:05
◼
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30 and being 50 right then this but they
[TS]
01:24:08
◼
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say they say that the the whole concept
[TS]
01:24:11
◼
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of being a teenager was invented in
[TS]
01:24:13
◼
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something like colonial times but i
[TS]
01:24:15
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think it's it's really feels like an
[TS]
01:24:17
◼
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armchair observer it really feels like
[TS]
01:24:19
◼
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the the fifties late forties early
[TS]
01:24:21
◼
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fifties or when they're really caught on
[TS]
01:24:23
◼
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partly because a market right but here
[TS]
01:24:26
◼
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in affluent society now there was a new
[TS]
01:24:28
◼
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source of spending inside the family so
[TS]
01:24:30
◼
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that your cater to and they're all kinds
[TS]
01:24:33
◼
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of things that were you know and also a
[TS]
01:24:35
◼
►
time when you could then that come on
[TS]
01:24:37
◼
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your kids being a little safer by
[TS]
01:24:38
◼
►
participating in these certain kinds of
[TS]
01:24:39
◼
►
activities he didn't want to go straight
[TS]
01:24:40
◼
►
into the army you been in the Army and
[TS]
01:24:41
◼
►
you know what that was like that kind of
[TS]
01:24:43
◼
►
stuff right but like we so in a
[TS]
01:24:46
◼
►
hunter-gatherer society i am at the end
[TS]
01:24:49
◼
►
of my usable life my useful lifespan
[TS]
01:24:52
◼
►
right at 46 years old I am no longer
[TS]
01:24:55
◼
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able to spend a lot of time on this is
[TS]
01:24:58
◼
►
crazy this is a crazy thing to get into
[TS]
01:25:00
◼
►
right now but I've spent a lot of time
[TS]
01:25:03
◼
►
in the last few days crouching in the
[TS]
01:25:07
◼
►
dirt looking out over a mountain valley
[TS]
01:25:10
◼
►
and imagining myself not in prehistoric
[TS]
01:25:14
◼
►
times but imagining myself now but as a
[TS]
01:25:17
◼
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subsistence hunter and i have my have my
[TS]
01:25:21
◼
►
lady's with me on the trail and i am you
[TS]
01:25:25
◼
►
know and I'm meeting to keep this tribe
[TS]
01:25:30
◼
►
going over you know defended against
[TS]
01:25:34
◼
►
wild animals other humans probably give
[TS]
01:25:38
◼
►
find food and we know working together
[TS]
01:25:40
◼
►
as a tribe but with the knowledge that
[TS]
01:25:41
◼
►
one of us is four years old and
[TS]
01:25:44
◼
►
realizing that at 46 years old I am less
[TS]
01:25:47
◼
►
useful to this tribe that I would have
[TS]
01:25:50
◼
►
been at 26 years old and if this tribe
[TS]
01:25:56
◼
►
were were a little bit bigger if there
[TS]
01:25:58
◼
►
were 10 of us or 15 of us that would be
[TS]
01:26:01
◼
►
much better but i would still be I
[TS]
01:26:03
◼
►
wouldn't be I'm not so old that I would
[TS]
01:26:05
◼
►
be slowing us down for but you know my i
[TS]
01:26:10
◼
►
would not be with a spear out at the
[TS]
01:26:14
◼
►
leading edge
[TS]
01:26:16
◼
►
either against a bear or another tribe
[TS]
01:26:19
◼
►
you know i would i would have died i
[TS]
01:26:23
◼
►
have a lot more strategy i have a lot
[TS]
01:26:25
◼
►
more plan but I'm a lot less you know my
[TS]
01:26:29
◼
►
knees are bad right right and so that
[TS]
01:26:34
◼
►
awareness of like the the tipping point
[TS]
01:26:36
◼
►
at in their mid-forties where your eyes
[TS]
01:26:38
◼
►
go bad your your joints go bad and
[TS]
01:26:40
◼
►
you're like oh shit and if I if we were
[TS]
01:26:43
◼
►
on the Savannah you know I'm kind of i'm
[TS]
01:26:47
◼
►
a drag now I basically be used to bait
[TS]
01:26:50
◼
►
uh-hum that so that knowledge but also
[TS]
01:26:54
◼
►
in the context of us kind of being the
[TS]
01:26:58
◼
►
first or second generation really the
[TS]
01:27:00
◼
►
first generation that was raised all
[TS]
01:27:03
◼
►
along with the idea that there wasn't
[TS]
01:27:06
◼
►
just a static adulthood but that you
[TS]
01:27:11
◼
►
weren't supposed to trust anybody under
[TS]
01:27:12
◼
►
30 and then 40 was the new 30 and then
[TS]
01:27:16
◼
►
you know 45 is the new thirty five were
[TS]
01:27:18
◼
►
the first people that have ever talked
[TS]
01:27:20
◼
►
like that and it's and it's crazy and it
[TS]
01:27:23
◼
►
reflects how desperately we don't know
[TS]
01:27:25
◼
►
how to that we took away graceful
[TS]
01:27:30
◼
►
adulthood and replaced it with this
[TS]
01:27:33
◼
►
consumerist striving youth-obsessed
[TS]
01:27:37
◼
►
desperate feeling all the time and now
[TS]
01:27:41
◼
►
kinda where the where the test case
[TS]
01:27:43
◼
►
again this dumb generation x that nobody
[TS]
01:27:45
◼
►
likes that it turned out was a lot
[TS]
01:27:48
◼
►
smaller than we thought and less
[TS]
01:27:49
◼
►
influential than we thought and we're
[TS]
01:27:51
◼
►
out here kind of baking in the hot Sun
[TS]
01:27:54
◼
►
trying to figure out like how do you be
[TS]
01:27:58
◼
►
45 like the yuppies did it in the
[TS]
01:28:01
◼
►
grossest way possible they were terrible
[TS]
01:28:03
◼
►
in their forties and where the next you
[TS]
01:28:09
◼
►
know the next ones to come along you
[TS]
01:28:10
◼
►
think about my dad's generation by the
[TS]
01:28:12
◼
►
time they're in their forties they were
[TS]
01:28:13
◼
►
I mean they had done so much they rot so
[TS]
01:28:15
◼
►
much devastation but they weren't
[TS]
01:28:17
◼
►
thinking about their age in the same way
[TS]
01:28:23
◼
►
and and they
[TS]
01:28:26
◼
►
shocked when their children said don't
[TS]
01:28:29
◼
►
trust anyone over 30 you know they were
[TS]
01:28:30
◼
►
horrified and now you know Here I am way
[TS]
01:28:36
◼
►
way over 34 when they hanging out with
[TS]
01:28:41
◼
►
the wrong people hanging out with the
[TS]
01:28:42
◼
►
wrong people when they build the AI love
[TS]
01:28:44
◼
►
you and me from this podcast they're
[TS]
01:28:46
◼
►
gonna be such boring crotchety guys
[TS]
01:28:48
◼
►
saggy pants i disagree i think the AI
[TS]
01:28:53
◼
►
that they come up with if they are is
[TS]
01:28:55
◼
►
not just see I think I'm if I'm i say i
[TS]
01:28:57
◼
►
think you might have a failure of
[TS]
01:28:58
◼
►
imagination here we're not talking about
[TS]
01:28:59
◼
►
robots that think and talk like us relay
[TS]
01:29:02
◼
►
I would be able to take the stuff that
[TS]
01:29:04
◼
►
we're not articulating well and make it
[TS]
01:29:05
◼
►
a lot smarter and they would be able to
[TS]
01:29:07
◼
►
draw connections like we're pretty good
[TS]
01:29:09
◼
►
at certain parts of this but we really
[TS]
01:29:10
◼
►
need a super smart robot that will be
[TS]
01:29:12
◼
►
able to go and connect all the dots
[TS]
01:29:13
◼
►
think what you could do with something
[TS]
01:29:15
◼
►
like that i love that you pronounce a
[TS]
01:29:18
◼
►
robot not just anything i'm doing i
[TS]
01:29:20
◼
►
think it's so good and it really isit's
[TS]
01:29:22
◼
►
it is a robot that we're building it's a
[TS]
01:29:25
◼
►
robot and that that's what I i don't i
[TS]
01:29:29
◼
►
do not want a robot i do want a robot oh
[TS]
01:29:32
◼
►
man like a cling clang like actually
[TS]
01:29:34
◼
►
like with like a body made at n stuff i
[TS]
01:29:37
◼
►
may be so much more into that with a
[TS]
01:29:39
◼
►
little funnel for a hat I don't want I
[TS]
01:29:41
◼
►
don't want like a like a real doll that
[TS]
01:29:43
◼
►
walks not interested
[TS]
01:29:45
◼
►
like i mentioned the real thing at all
[TS]
01:29:46
◼
►
like the dead rubber girl but like to
[TS]
01:29:49
◼
►
have an actual like nineteen fifties
[TS]
01:29:51
◼
►
like forties maybe thirties idea of a
[TS]
01:29:53
◼
►
robot that's the robot for me that we
[TS]
01:29:57
◼
►
actually says clink clank when he walks
[TS]
01:29:58
◼
►
around going Clank Clank Clank I feel
[TS]
01:30:02
◼
►
like my desire to not be around other
[TS]
01:30:04
◼
►
people that much really extends to
[TS]
01:30:08
◼
►
robots like if you tell them that it
[TS]
01:30:11
◼
►
wouldn't hurt their feelings
[TS]
01:30:12
◼
►
well but that's the thing it because of
[TS]
01:30:14
◼
►
the because of the anthropomorphic
[TS]
01:30:16
◼
►
sizing that I do it isn't the robots
[TS]
01:30:19
◼
►
feelings that I be worried about its my
[TS]
01:30:22
◼
►
own transference of feeling into the
[TS]
01:30:25
◼
►
robot the act of smirnoff problem that's
[TS]
01:30:27
◼
►
exactly right
[TS]
01:30:32
◼
►
so just having it in the house even if
[TS]
01:30:35
◼
►
it was turned off i would feel social
[TS]
01:30:39
◼
►
pressure to turn it on interact with it
[TS]
01:30:41
◼
►
hit bad feelings if you have ill
[TS]
01:30:44
◼
►
feelings or guilty feelings about your
[TS]
01:30:45
◼
►
clothing imagine imagine a computer that
[TS]
01:30:49
◼
►
yeah it's an edge off imagine how bad i
[TS]
01:30:51
◼
►
would feel I mean even like that's why
[TS]
01:30:55
◼
►
I've never turned on Cirie I'll really
[TS]
01:30:58
◼
►
because i do not want to interact I did
[TS]
01:31:01
◼
►
not want to have an interaction with the
[TS]
01:31:02
◼
►
thing where I could disappointed its
[TS]
01:31:07
◼
►
ramifications
[TS]
01:31:08
◼
►
[Music]
[TS]