Roderick on the Line

Ep. 148: "Can't Find the Starch"


00:00:00   this episode of Roderick on the line is [TS]

00:00:01   sponsored by cards against humanity this [TS]

00:00:04   month they ask marion call to help me [TS]

00:00:06   say hi to john it's rather a quarter of [TS]

00:00:08   aquatic time John Ryder time [TS]

00:00:12   [Music] [TS]

00:00:16   hello hi John hi Merlin how's it going [TS]

00:00:21   it's Roderick Roderick Roderick time [TS]

00:00:25   John Roderick time wow what a good theme [TS]

00:00:29   that's a cover [TS]

00:00:30   Oh of cover-up on pepper [TS]

00:00:34   mm kind of its Marion call primary [TS]

00:00:36   oncall and she does the i'm getting [TS]

00:00:38   inside the looking glass here that's the [TS]

00:00:40   segment she greets you this week with [TS]

00:00:42   that you don't know yet because this [TS]

00:00:43   episode doesn't exist yet know what [TS]

00:00:45   don't you are doing it again [TS]

00:00:47   yeah do it again I can't do the [TS]

00:00:48   harmonies it's Roderick Roderick [TS]

00:00:50   Roderick time John Roderick time [TS]

00:00:53   Wow five seconds long Aryan call Marion [TS]

00:00:56   call we've got some good ones I don't [TS]

00:00:59   listen to the program but but you know [TS]

00:01:01   one of our sponsors Commission someone [TS]

00:01:03   to greet you on the episodes is the show [TS]

00:01:06   you do with me is that subtle yeah yeah [TS]

00:01:09   how many many men in San Francisco a few [TS]

00:01:11   years ago hi how many out many of these [TS]

00:01:13   of there been more than one [TS]

00:01:18   yeah we had that boy we've had the [TS]

00:01:21   double clicks we've had we've had many [TS]

00:01:24   mia popular artists we have only Lewis [TS]

00:01:26   to the first one she did a bang-up job [TS]

00:01:28   you're kidding [TS]

00:01:29   yeah you your computer by Apple mm Wow [TS]

00:01:34   I'd love to get all of these on a on a [TS]

00:01:37   like a CD or you want me to make a USB [TS]

00:01:39   Drive Johnny but you know could you make [TS]

00:01:41   it could you put it on a cassette I can [TS]

00:01:42   bitcoin that to your cassette yeah sure [TS]

00:01:44   that you would use include for that [TS]

00:01:46   mmm [TS]

00:01:47   the glow got it huh [TS]

00:01:54   I just just hooked up my thermostat and [TS]

00:01:57   my garage door opener to the clothes and [TS]

00:02:02   every time it gets below 84 degrees in [TS]

00:02:06   my kitchen my garage door Oberg goes off [TS]

00:02:09   in a rush place to be from in the name [TS]

00:02:11   of love by the Thompson Twins done and [TS]

00:02:14   wow I think listening to the Thompson [TS]

00:02:17   Twins a lot lately on vinyl and I don't [TS]

00:02:20   know a lot of that is really inexcusable [TS]

00:02:21   arm [TS]

00:02:23   mmm i was fan yeah yeah i was a fan too [TS]

00:02:26   and am still but there is there's some [TS]

00:02:30   inexcusable [TS]

00:02:31   I i I'm machines in particular there are [TS]

00:02:35   so many fusible drum machine [TS]

00:02:36   yeah and i think they really need to [TS]

00:02:38   give a lot of something to do sometimes [TS]

00:02:40   they gave her the area that Davy Jones [TS]

00:02:42   problem you know where they had to give [TS]

00:02:43   her something to and that she wasn't [TS]

00:02:45   contributing well they gave her that [TS]

00:02:46   they gave her that have to wear [TS]

00:02:48   yeah she had the funny haircut yeah that [TS]

00:02:50   was like two peoples job well that's a [TS]

00:02:52   good point and then there was the other [TS]

00:02:53   guy you got the other guy he played [TS]

00:02:55   keyboards we got the main guy you got [TS]

00:02:57   Alana and then you get the other guy [TS]

00:02:58   right and I the main guy [TS]

00:03:02   oh when I was Jane Wiedlin right is that [TS]

00:03:04   right with his name Tom Baker was a [TS]

00:03:06   doctor who [TS]

00:03:06   what was that guy's name Tom Tom Tom and [TS]

00:03:09   Tom cotton tom poston Babbitt Bombadil [TS]

00:03:13   Babbitt postage Bombadil how you made it [TS]

00:03:16   with him a hobbit joke haha but yeah I [TS]

00:03:23   think didn't they write our lips are [TS]

00:03:25   sealed together [TS]

00:03:26   oh I know that was originally a fun boy [TS]

00:03:28   three song [TS]

00:03:30   yeah which is a good version as well was [TS]

00:03:33   the same guy right [TS]

00:03:34   I see and I got to go to the Internet [TS]

00:03:37   our lips are sealed that is a really [TS]

00:03:40   good i had the fun boy three version on [TS]

00:03:42   a US my Charlie it wasn't originally a [TS]

00:03:45   fun 13 version that they believe they [TS]

00:03:47   wrote that song together and it was that [TS]

00:03:49   they were they they came out [TS]

00:03:50   simultaneously writer they were they [TS]

00:03:52   were they wrote it too [TS]

00:03:54   you know I wasn't there so it's a [TS]

00:03:56   written by Jane Wiedlin yeah-hoo-hoo of [TS]

00:03:59   whom we are both hands i believe and the [TS]

00:04:01   special the guy from the specials all I [TS]

00:04:04   always get that confused Harry hall [TS]

00:04:06   he's a white fellow right yeah the fun [TS]

00:04:09   boy three guy was in the specials not [TS]

00:04:11   the fun boy three guy was in the [TS]

00:04:13   Thompson Twins pom-pom and i always i [TS]

00:04:16   had that problem even then I know I know [TS]

00:04:18   it's hard to keep up you're not reading [TS]

00:04:19   any every week boom every enemy when i [TS]

00:04:23   worked at steves Broadway news i would [TS]

00:04:25   read an enemy and any other right mr. my [TS]

00:04:29   presented me and then what's the other [TS]

00:04:30   big one melody maker and like it was a [TS]

00:04:33   perfect example of how the UK exist in a [TS]

00:04:36   mirror universe because I would read it [TS]

00:04:38   and I would know the names of the [TS]

00:04:39   artists but I couldn't understand a word [TS]

00:04:40   anyone was saying or I didn't understand [TS]

00:04:42   the sense of humor especially is very [TS]

00:04:44   different from us magazines [TS]

00:04:45   yeah so different and so willing to I [TS]

00:04:48   mean so excited when they were excited [TS]

00:04:50   and then two weeks later so dismissive [TS]

00:04:54   when they're dismissive i remember in [TS]

00:04:56   particular i remember buying a copy [TS]

00:04:58   around the time that I was I was getting [TS]

00:05:02   into you two more like an 84-82 I guess [TS]

00:05:06   84 83 84 anyway but the waterboys were [TS]

00:05:08   opening up for them and they love the [TS]

00:05:10   waterboys but they just did not have [TS]

00:05:11   enough terrible things to say about you [TS]

00:05:13   too poor you too [TS]

00:05:14   yeah you know when they came out with [TS]

00:05:17   boy who nobody had a bad thing to say [TS]

00:05:20   about him everybody loved him to rock [TS]

00:05:21   and roll album but then it went straight [TS]

00:05:24   to once you started waving flags [TS]

00:05:27   yeah I think you should not be a shirt [TS]

00:05:28   off at red rocks i think that was [TS]

00:05:29   problematic as they say he should or [TS]

00:05:31   shouldn't do see I would leave the shirt [TS]

00:05:32   on [TS]

00:05:33   he had a handsome you to of memory [TS]

00:05:35   serves he had a war two or t-shirt [TS]

00:05:37   mmm yeah I'm not afraid to wear his own [TS]

00:05:40   shirt on stage in either wearing rock on [TS]

00:05:42   the line now Hoodie a lot of you I've [TS]

00:05:44   been so that guy for two weeks it's very [TS]

00:05:46   comfy i like it but by the way we sold [TS]

00:05:49   shirts a while back just so you know I [TS]

00:05:50   don't have one was I supposed to get one [TS]

00:05:53   ya you gonna pay for with money like a [TS]

00:05:54   gentleman OIC uh-huh [TS]

00:05:57   you know I've been living in a swag [TS]

00:05:59   economy for so long it just when PR tote [TS]

00:06:01   bags and don't even remember [TS]

00:06:03   members mandolins hats but i don't [TS]

00:06:06   remember what it was like to go buy a [TS]

00:06:08   thing [TS]

00:06:09   uh oh right yeah I just walk around and [TS]

00:06:12   like people run up to me and hand me [TS]

00:06:14   gift bags [TS]

00:06:16   yeah i-i've gotten stuff like that can't [TS]

00:06:18   last forever [TS]

00:06:20   yeah yeah yeah I I still well it's not [TS]

00:06:23   important but it sounds it can be very [TS]

00:06:25   frustrating that's a good song on I [TS]

00:06:27   wonder what I'm sorry general but I was [TS]

00:06:29   trying to get a picture of mental [TS]

00:06:30   picture of bono a young bar now with his [TS]

00:06:33   shirt off at red rocks i might be [TS]

00:06:35   misremembering I seem to remember [TS]

00:06:36   there's the video for new years day was [TS]

00:06:40   the one that got a lot of play I was a [TS]

00:06:41   bigger fan of songs that nobody sunday [TS]

00:06:47   the desk the desk drums one of the [TS]

00:06:50   restaurant didn't sunday bloody sunday [TS]

00:06:51   was the one where yes anybody somebody [TS]

00:06:54   got a lot of play tonight but there's [TS]

00:06:56   even one video of the from red rocks [TS]

00:06:58   that i remember getting play i think was [TS]

00:06:59   new years day I think he might be [TS]

00:07:00   shirtless I think he climbs something [TS]

00:07:02   yeah yeah there was a lot of that that [TS]

00:07:05   was like i'm gonna go ahead and risked a [TS]

00:07:07   lot here by saying I'm google for Bono [TS]

00:07:09   shirtless [TS]

00:07:11   oh my god you're going to go right into [TS]

00:07:14   the like oh like a fanfic parallel [TS]

00:07:16   universe talking about parallel you know [TS]

00:07:19   my goodness oh my goodness me what [TS]

00:07:22   well and some of them yeah there's a [TS]

00:07:24   picture of him like from six months ago [TS]

00:07:26   in a Russian bath [TS]

00:07:28   there's a shot at him I kind of milling [TS]

00:07:29   around in some not dick Nixon shorts [TS]

00:07:31   like hanging out at the beach [TS]

00:07:33   ms you're being photographed at the [TS]

00:07:34   beach John by a paparazzi ever had that [TS]

00:07:36   happen [TS]

00:07:37   let's see that that there's one time I [TS]

00:07:40   was photographed by paparazzi i was i [TS]

00:07:45   was staying at the Chateau Marmont in [TS]

00:07:47   los angeles california and we were doing [TS]

00:07:51   a weird making a pilot of a television [TS]

00:07:54   show and one of our guests was a French [TS]

00:07:58   chanteuse who was a you know a woman in [TS]

00:08:04   her early twenties from France from [TS]

00:08:07   France she was brunch and a and a great [TS]

00:08:10   singer songwriter and it was one of [TS]

00:08:12   those things are a lot of your making a [TS]

00:08:14   television show a lot of people TV [TS]

00:08:16   cameras [TS]

00:08:16   people with the headset microphones [TS]

00:08:19   walking around and she and i sat down on [TS]

00:08:21   the couch sort of after her segment we [TS]

00:08:23   started talking we became oh we became [TS]

00:08:26   fast friends we were we had an immediate [TS]

00:08:29   robbed or if you will [TS]

00:08:31   Oh Nancy up all rapprochement and so we [TS]

00:08:36   don't approach me although we had never [TS]

00:08:38   had a add a new approach never had a [TS]

00:08:41   care with a recoger so there was no need [TS]

00:08:43   for a promotion all but um so the [TS]

00:08:48   evening wore on and then it was late and [TS]

00:08:51   and she was like I'm afraid that must [TS]

00:08:54   bid you adieu and i said uh I'll ah alas [TS]

00:08:58   i will walk you to the car and she was [TS]

00:09:05   like I have a girl coming it and so I we [TS]

00:09:09   went down together in the elevator and [TS]

00:09:10   we walked out of the front of the [TS]

00:09:12   chateau marmont and it's kind of a [TS]

00:09:14   straight you know that the that the [TS]

00:09:16   ingress and egress of that hotel is very [TS]

00:09:19   strange they changed it at some point [TS]

00:09:20   and now you kind of leave through a [TS]

00:09:22   basement a driveway kind of thing and we [TS]

00:09:27   walk down together and I'm i'm putting [TS]

00:09:31   her in a town car and we get to the end [TS]

00:09:34   of the drive and she says it has been [TS]

00:09:36   such a pleasure to the to get to know [TS]

00:09:40   your sister Nikki beat and I was like [TS]

00:09:43   the pleasure has been all mine [TS]

00:09:45   Mademoiselle and she presents herself [TS]

00:09:49   for a euro style but you know the kiss [TS]

00:09:53   and then the other kiss and then the [TS]

00:09:55   third kiss right the boom boom boom the [TS]

00:09:57   three Christmas lacroix that's why as [TS]

00:10:00   they say and Eileen in a at and give her [TS]

00:10:03   the first of what will be three kisses [TS]

00:10:05   and all of a sudden it's like it's like [TS]

00:10:09   the psalm always just lit up pop out [TS]

00:10:15   flash bulbs from everywhere and I had I [TS]

00:10:17   had a second before been convinced that [TS]

00:10:20   we were alone [TS]

00:10:21   that's so creepy right we were just [TS]

00:10:23   standing there the car was there it was [TS]

00:10:25   like oh you know fair and we were [TS]

00:10:26   talking to each other kind of software [TS]

00:10:27   like very well this has been one of [TS]

00:10:29   those meetings [TS]

00:10:30   one of those meetings in life where you [TS]

00:10:31   just encounter someone in the afternoon [TS]

00:10:34   and by the end by the end of the day you [TS]

00:10:37   know that you have you have you really [TS]

00:10:39   lived you know you know yahoo you really [TS]

00:10:42   leave the kind of charming only these [TS]

00:10:44   few hours we have really lived and then [TS]

00:10:47   pop out and we both are like like a [TS]

00:10:51   startled and terrified and we turn and [TS]

00:10:53   the bushes are full of photographers ish [TS]

00:10:57   because i think the Olsen twins were in [TS]

00:11:02   the shadow or maybe it was I think the [TS]

00:11:07   Olsen twins were there at but then I [TS]

00:11:10   think there might also have been another [TS]

00:11:11   like that there was probably a rat king [TS]

00:11:16   of celebrities because it was a Saturday [TS]

00:11:19   night I was a rat king of celebrity [TS]

00:11:22   that's the new collective in the lobby [TS]

00:11:23   with a worker you know they were all [TS]

00:11:26   like doing cocaine and playing piano and [TS]

00:11:28   simple and so these photographers had no [TS]

00:11:31   idea who we were but because we looked [TS]

00:11:33   chic and because we were behaving in a [TS]

00:11:36   chic fashion and they may have her over [TS]

00:11:39   her French accent they were like these [TS]

00:11:42   people must be we'd better with we'd [TS]

00:11:44   better get this for safety right here [TS]

00:11:48   there [TS]

00:11:48   I mean you get the coverage the top [TS]

00:11:51   towel and I was I mean I went into like [TS]

00:11:54   a combat Crouch is your training i think [TS]

00:11:58   is very I pulled out my Marine Corps [TS]

00:12:00   survival knife i hustled her into the [TS]

00:12:03   car history as a human shield but no no [TS]

00:12:07   I stood between her and the and the zoo [TS]

00:12:10   gunfire hustled into the car we pounded [TS]

00:12:14   on the trunk go God me and I collected [TS]

00:12:20   for scalps but it was it was I had a [TS]

00:12:23   sense just a momentary sense of what a [TS]

00:12:27   nightmare [TS]

00:12:28   it must be to try to just be a just [TS]

00:12:31   leave the Rat King for a second as a [TS]

00:12:33   celebrity and walk outside for a [TS]

00:12:36   cigarette be to put french girl in a car [TS]

00:12:38   who see to run across the street for a [TS]

00:12:42   pack of cigarettes [TS]

00:12:43   tonight I guess they have people for [TS]

00:12:44   that but it was blue boy [TS]

00:12:47   holy cats I would not want it [TS]

00:12:50   no way no that would you know you that [TS]

00:12:54   would intrude on something very that [TS]

00:12:56   would intrude on something about you [TS]

00:12:58   that you do not want to intrude upon I [TS]

00:12:59   think you're probably right [TS]

00:13:00   um yeah I i I'm yeah well we've covered [TS]

00:13:05   this I I'm a very social person but I [TS]

00:13:09   wouldn't want to be you know fastball [TS]

00:13:10   popped at the Mormont no no I you know [TS]

00:13:14   all those other shots of celebrities [TS]

00:13:17   where they're like winding up to punch a [TS]

00:13:20   photographer [TS]

00:13:21   yeah and the photographer gets that that [TS]

00:13:23   classic shot of you know Sean Penn with [TS]

00:13:25   this [TS]

00:13:26   yeah with his shirt off and his fist up [TS]

00:13:29   in the air that the the celebs in [TS]

00:13:31   question never look good in those shots [TS]

00:13:34   but you can you can kind of empathize [TS]

00:13:36   with well it helps when you see video of [TS]

00:13:39   that because when you see how you know [TS]

00:13:43   the word how aggressive multiple people [TS]

00:13:47   are being they are in there in your face [TS]

00:13:49   they're following you they are running [TS]

00:13:50   after you they are provoking the subject [TS]

00:13:53   you know and I mean it's the the bigger [TS]

00:13:56   you get the more you're supposed to just [TS]

00:13:58   think that that's okay i guess i I'm [TS]

00:14:00   totally sympathetic to punch in some of [TS]

00:14:03   those guys [TS]

00:14:03   it is a poor vocation november two [TS]

00:14:07   thousand uh mary-kate and Ashley Olsen [TS]

00:14:11   released a film called our lips are [TS]

00:14:12   sealed [TS]

00:14:13   Oh without em all connected [TS]

00:14:18   there it is that it is all connected i [TS]

00:14:20   sat in the lobby of that hotel one time [TS]

00:14:22   when mary-kate and Ashley were there and [TS]

00:14:25   boy was a real eye-opener a particularly [TS]

00:14:29   an eye-opener to the effect of how [TS]

00:14:33   boring it is to be a young celebrity em [TS]

00:14:35   but anytime you're the biggest celebrity [TS]

00:14:39   you become the more you just spent a lot [TS]

00:14:40   of time waiting to do something right [TS]

00:14:42   yeah yeah we're or I'd in this case it [TS]

00:14:45   was the old thing you know they're still [TS]

00:14:47   young people writing and so instead of [TS]

00:14:50   sitting in the basement in the [TS]

00:14:52   non-alcohol serving basement of a [TS]

00:14:55   college [TS]

00:14:56   like the non-alcohol serving a basement [TS]

00:15:00   club in a college dorm trying to pretend [TS]

00:15:05   that they're having a really good time [TS]

00:15:06   they were in extremely glamorous hotel [TS]

00:15:10   and people were giving them every single [TS]

00:15:13   kind of intoxication that they could [TS]

00:15:15   possibly want and yet they were still [TS]

00:15:17   just young people pretending that [TS]

00:15:19   they're having a really good time [TS]

00:15:20   yeah because they know people are [TS]

00:15:22   watching them and they don't want to [TS]

00:15:23   seem like they're not having fun right [TS]

00:15:25   so there's all that like just did just [TS]

00:15:27   the normal stuff the forced laughter the [TS]

00:15:30   like the other the the young men that [TS]

00:15:33   are around them have a possible for them [TS]

00:15:35   to have anything like a normal [TS]

00:15:37   conversation with anybody that's their [TS]

00:15:39   age or younger in particular right i [TS]

00:15:42   mean they could talk to somebody who's [TS]

00:15:43   60 and might not know who they are you [TS]

00:15:44   know they're 27 now according to [TS]

00:15:46   wikipedia to might be true and i must be [TS]

00:15:48   there born in 1987 they could be my kids [TS]

00:15:50   Wow but the socks i have on right now [TS]

00:15:52   are 27 mm that's how you get the good [TS]

00:15:55   ones you got your vintage about Sox's [TS]

00:15:58   some of them some of them blow out right [TS]

00:16:01   away [TS]

00:16:01   yep some of them are there for the [TS]

00:16:03   duration only one kind of stock and then [TS]

00:16:06   I just keep replenishing them and when [TS]

00:16:08   they get dirty and throw him out but i [TS]

00:16:09   only wear one kind of stock to tell me [TS]

00:16:11   what it is I don't get too personal but [TS]

00:16:13   I wear the white crew goldtoes where [TS]

00:16:17   goldtail and I'll get the gold doesn't [TS]

00:16:18   get any socks before I think you know [TS]

00:16:20   you have a couple of pairs of your [TS]

00:16:21   goldtoes i usually have a pretty good [TS]

00:16:23   supply on hand and when they've all been [TS]

00:16:26   washed after purchase it's pretty quick [TS]

00:16:28   because it fills an entire drawer but [TS]

00:16:29   you know and again this is the kind of [TS]

00:16:30   thing I don't have to think about but [TS]

00:16:32   but Jesse Thorne who is gonna is gonna [TS]

00:16:35   ask I'm gonna start going to do a [TS]

00:16:37   stand-in here for Jesse thorn st thorn [TS]

00:16:40   is going and I don't do a good Jessie [TS]

00:16:42   third impression but if you can just [TS]

00:16:44   picture me i'm i'm wearing a morning [TS]

00:16:47   like a country gentleman outfit have [TS]

00:16:50   jodhpurs on i personally that I picture [TS]

00:16:53   him dressed as the Blue Boy from the [TS]

00:16:54   painting haha alright let's go that [TS]

00:16:57   direction so I'm dressed little progress [TS]

00:16:59   does the Blue Boy right i have one hand [TS]

00:17:02   jauntily akaki provide your head you can [TS]

00:17:04   provide holder your cravat holder case [TS]

00:17:06   there might be a couple of irish [TS]

00:17:08   wolfhound standing in the [TS]

00:17:10   behind me and I'm gonna say do you [TS]

00:17:12   really only have white sox hmm see the [TS]

00:17:15   thing is just he's got kids now so I [TS]

00:17:17   mean you know this is you did your child [TS]

00:17:19   ever see I don't say too much as your [TS]

00:17:20   child or socks [TS]

00:17:22   yes okay so we know we've done the fun [TS]

00:17:25   thing and bought her different pairs of [TS]

00:17:26   socks but i have officially reached the [TS]

00:17:28   end of my fucking rope with the socks [TS]

00:17:30   because we literally have one of like 14 [TS]

00:17:34   different pairs of socks and i said to [TS]

00:17:35   my wife the other day we need to get [TS]

00:17:36   this kid on the Gold Toe program we need [TS]

00:17:37   to get her something like a generic you [TS]

00:17:40   know lo not not like that but like a ped [TS]

00:17:42   like not like the little little ones [TS]

00:17:44   because they're annoying you can't run [TS]

00:17:45   around they begin your shoe but we need [TS]

00:17:47   to get her one kind of stock and just [TS]

00:17:48   once a month have amazon just give us [TS]

00:17:50   like 60 pairs of socks huh like but like [TS]

00:17:53   one pink hello kitty one blue captain [TS]

00:17:55   america like we got all these great [TS]

00:17:57   single socks and that's all we've got [TS]

00:17:59   do you run into this well so we have [TS]

00:18:02   back in the back when we were just [TS]

00:18:06   beginning our child-rearing a journey a [TS]

00:18:09   journey we call ya the journey we were [TS]

00:18:12   we were very strongly influenced by my [TS]

00:18:16   friend david bazan and his wife who have [TS]

00:18:19   a very excellent parenting style that [TS]

00:18:23   Brooks no baloney from the from the the [TS]

00:18:28   youngsters right as it happens dad only [TS]

00:18:30   wears one thing well and dad that's [TS]

00:18:32   right dad has one outfit right his red [TS]

00:18:34   sweatshirt red hoodie sweatshirt black [TS]

00:18:36   t-shirt jeans and he solved that problem [TS]

00:18:39   for himself here many years ago but his [TS]

00:18:43   wife had this this whole policy of like [TS]

00:18:46   one of the big problems with a with [TS]

00:18:49   raising kids is that at a certain point [TS]

00:18:51   they want to start dressing themselves [TS]

00:18:52   and then every morning you sit around [TS]

00:18:55   for 45 minutes while the kid rejects 25 [TS]

00:18:59   different outfits and it always descends [TS]

00:19:01   into a screaming nightmare match [TS]

00:19:04   yeah so her plan which I thought was a [TS]

00:19:06   genius plan was at the on sunday night [TS]

00:19:10   they go and they put together a whole [TS]

00:19:13   week's worth of outfits [TS]

00:19:15   oh my god that's so smart shirt pants [TS]

00:19:17   socks all the stuff and for they put [TS]

00:19:21   together five different outfit all my [TS]

00:19:23   God why did I do that then they put [TS]

00:19:25   those outfits each one in a in a ziploc [TS]

00:19:28   bag a big ziploc Oh lifehack this is [TS]

00:19:32   gonna change everything fright and now [TS]

00:19:34   wait [TS]

00:19:34   ok the genius part every morning the kid [TS]

00:19:38   gets to pick the outfit the illusion of [TS]

00:19:41   choice [TS]

00:19:42   thank you brilliant boom boom and the [TS]

00:19:45   kid [TS]

00:19:46   oh my and it's all are already in the [TS]

00:19:47   bag you know you're not sitting there at [TS]

00:19:50   seven forty-two in the morning i'm not [TS]

00:19:51   gonna name any names but you're not [TS]

00:19:52   sitting there 742 in the morning was [TS]

00:19:54   pleased literally pick something to wear [TS]

00:19:56   that's right that's right because the [TS]

00:19:57   child has already participated in the [TS]

00:20:00   picking of my god I sometime before so [TS]

00:20:04   with their if they suddenly have a [TS]

00:20:05   problem you're like you picked this boom [TS]

00:20:08   you cannot argue this is the bag you [TS]

00:20:10   picked and so pick whatever back right [TS]

00:20:12   that's the back this is the bag and you [TS]

00:20:15   open the bag and that's what you get [TS]

00:20:17   don't be upset but how about the socks [TS]

00:20:22   so and i have just entered into a new [TS]

00:20:24   realm with our daughter and I know that [TS]

00:20:26   on our last program i mentioned her name [TS]

00:20:28   several times i would like to thank [TS]

00:20:29   everyone who's concerned I was concerned [TS]

00:20:31   about the privacy issues of you saying [TS]

00:20:32   your daughter's name for time and then [TS]

00:20:34   mentioned on the internet thank you for [TS]

00:20:35   that [TS]

00:20:35   yeah I'd hate everyone for pointing that [TS]

00:20:37   out i got i got 200 concern letters and [TS]

00:20:39   I do appreciate it i have I tried for a [TS]

00:20:42   long time not to do it and then and what [TS]

00:20:43   was funny about that that tolerance i [TS]

00:20:45   don't know how i spaced it well and the [TS]

00:20:47   thing was halfway through that podcast i [TS]

00:20:49   said to myself vice accidentally said [TS]

00:20:52   her name at some point and the answer [TS]

00:20:55   was no and so I was like oh good and I [TS]

00:20:58   relaxed my vigilance and then proceeded [TS]

00:21:00   to say her name four times yeah anyway [TS]

00:21:02   cut all this out [TS]

00:21:03   here's the here's the thing about our [TS]

00:21:06   current situation [TS]

00:21:07   our daughter is a is starting to pick [TS]

00:21:10   her own clothes but she has decided she [TS]

00:21:13   prefers mismatch socks 9-2 yeah so she [TS]

00:21:18   wears she better learn to prefer it and [TS]

00:21:20   she is one of each kind and it's this [TS]

00:21:23   little you know when she gets to like [TS]

00:21:24   letter freak flag fly in her shoes and [TS]

00:21:28   you know like i am a person that likes [TS]

00:21:31   to combine multiple patterns that are [TS]

00:21:35   some better supposedly money [TS]

00:21:37   defies genre is in a lot of what yeah [TS]

00:21:38   and I think that's in her too but her [TS]

00:21:41   mother is much more like wait a minute [TS]

00:21:43   you can't go out of the house like that [TS]

00:21:44   yeah but the mismatch sauce attractive [TS]

00:21:47   people are like that attracted people [TS]

00:21:48   are always trying to to change where the [TS]

00:21:50   bar is it such a thing they get away [TS]

00:21:53   with super frustrating but but she kept [TS]

00:21:57   the baby can have whatever sakshi what's [TS]

00:21:59   inside of her little beats so one of you [TS]

00:22:03   know one of a Hello Kitty sock one sock [TS]

00:22:05   that has balloons and cupcakes on it [TS]

00:22:07   everybody's happy but I do feel like [TS]

00:22:10   that that outfit in a bag thing that's a [TS]

00:22:12   that could be a hack that starts [TS]

00:22:14   tomorrow [TS]

00:22:14   that's no there's no question and then [TS]

00:22:16   is my wife right after this and say [TS]

00:22:17   here's the plan this morning my daughter [TS]

00:22:19   we had a nice morning now is finally [TS]

00:22:21   feeling and his report on my own family [TS]

00:22:23   my wife is finally over the flu after [TS]

00:22:25   her two weeks with the flu she's feeling [TS]

00:22:27   better [TS]

00:22:28   we're just getting ready for school [TS]

00:22:29   today my daughter my wife and directed [TS]

00:22:32   the first part of the outfit she [TS]

00:22:33   directed deep here's a cool dress that [TS]

00:22:35   you like like it's a good dress you can [TS]

00:22:37   move around in it [TS]

00:22:38   22 that we're at so i think it was kind [TS]

00:22:40   of a pinky dress but it was you know [TS]

00:22:42   it's a cool kid dress you can run around [TS]

00:22:43   in it to that we add some leggings that [TS]

00:22:46   were a completely different color i [TS]

00:22:47   think possibly striped she has a new set [TS]

00:22:49   of vans lace-up vans they have a galaxy [TS]

00:22:52   on them blue galaxy with stars like a [TS]

00:22:55   milky way into that she came in with one [TS]

00:22:57   of my belts and decided she was gonna [TS]

00:22:59   wear that she's wearing like a like a [TS]

00:23:01   man with a 34 inch waist belt and I [TS]

00:23:04   punched a hole in it for so she could [TS]

00:23:05   actually wear it to school and locate [TS]

00:23:07   the sword looks really cool so she [TS]

00:23:09   didn't wrap it around yourself twice [TS]

00:23:10   it's just well my wife split by tucking [TS]

00:23:12   in a little bit at the end but it was it [TS]

00:23:14   was a sharp look with the shoes buddy [TS]

00:23:16   galaxy shoes and entered a belt he could [TS]

00:23:19   meet this kid is way ahead [TS]

00:23:22   it's the stone super fashion mhm yeah [TS]

00:23:25   cheese the back things going to change a [TS]

00:23:27   lot for me now you know because we have [TS]

00:23:29   never actually employed it it will find [TS]

00:23:32   lots of those gallon-sized ziplock bags [TS]

00:23:34   be perfect for that's what it's for [TS]

00:23:35   right and it's just it's one it's one of [TS]

00:23:37   several examples of how the bazan family [TS]

00:23:39   has really they pioneered a lot of a lot [TS]

00:23:42   of thought technologies that we have [TS]

00:23:44   employed in the raising of our own child [TS]

00:23:48   fleet if and when we don't cut this out [TS]

00:23:49   but whenever [TS]

00:23:50   if and when we do that special other [TS]

00:23:52   project we're talking about doing we [TS]

00:23:53   he's going to be involved [TS]

00:23:54   laughing I think he has a lot to share [TS]

00:23:56   with people he really does he's got a [TS]

00:23:57   lot of the technologies that people [TS]

00:23:59   don't get you know they don't even know [TS]

00:24:01   because the thing is he's a songwriter [TS]

00:24:02   right so he still wants he still [TS]

00:24:04   believes in the power of song m1 like [TS]

00:24:07   some of us who have abandoned the ship [TS]

00:24:09   and David you still like songs but don't [TS]

00:24:13   have the power [TS]

00:24:14   I'm just like songs Dave Dave still [TS]

00:24:18   believes that he can say everything he [TS]

00:24:19   needs to say in his music but he has a [TS]

00:24:21   lot to share that he would he would be [TS]

00:24:25   able to share with his words [TS]

00:24:26   ah if we can just get them to use this [TS]

00:24:28   for you see here is part of the problem [TS]

00:24:30   is most of the people who have a lot [TS]

00:24:32   think they have a lot to share don't [TS]

00:24:33   really actually have that much to share [TS]

00:24:35   and in fact run out of ideas pretty [TS]

00:24:37   quickly way to start tapping into the [TS]

00:24:38   people who don't know how much they know [TS]

00:24:40   and we need to drain that shit man we [TS]

00:24:42   need to get the knowledge from the [TS]

00:24:43   people who don't think the thought [TS]

00:24:44   leaders that's without your knowledge [TS]

00:24:46   resides you know did you know hutch [TS]

00:24:48   Harris of the thermal understand easy [TS]

00:24:51   easy young man from Portland Oregon feel [TS]

00:24:53   like he has a lot to share actually [TS]

00:24:55   touch and Kathy together they have it's [TS]

00:24:58   like beans and rice they have the other [TS]

00:25:00   have a full profile this whole protein [TS]

00:25:02   yeah ted leo has a lot of information [TS]

00:25:05   still think about ted leo [TS]

00:25:06   yeah they could help people get totally [TS]

00:25:07   on my mind man Ted Leo on my and Ted Leo [TS]

00:25:11   I knew that guy would be smart i had no [TS]

00:25:13   idea how smart he would be yeah you know [TS]

00:25:15   he has a lot of eli has a lot of back [TS]

00:25:17   catalogue did you notice I want to get [TS]

00:25:18   back on the gravy thing but did you [TS]

00:25:20   notice how I don't wanna you know again [TS]

00:25:21   this is private celebrity stuff you [TS]

00:25:23   don't you want to talk about gravy i'll [TS]

00:25:25   talk about right now I think there's [TS]

00:25:27   support therefore gravy talk but all i [TS]

00:25:29   want to say is i was amazed [TS]

00:25:31   first of all he's a very is a very [TS]

00:25:32   slender man he always wears nice shoes [TS]

00:25:34   and he showed remarkable restraint at [TS]

00:25:36   the Windjammer ever notice how he would [TS]

00:25:37   eat like he would eat like a like a lady [TS]

00:25:39   meal he would be looking like a normal [TS]

00:25:41   human being would eat instead of gorging [TS]

00:25:42   everything with sauces and gravies dunno [TS]

00:25:44   why why [TS]

00:25:45   30 years of vegan 30 years of vegan 30 [TS]

00:25:49   years of vegan whoa [TS]

00:25:51   so whatever whatever anything in the [TS]

00:25:54   Windjammer he could eat ya carrots did [TS]

00:25:57   the fruit had pork and John I mean and [TS]

00:25:59   yeah you're right at a certain point [TS]

00:26:00   they put hollandaise sauce on the [TS]

00:26:01   carrots but if you got in there before [TS]

00:26:03   they put [TS]

00:26:03   sauce on it could you know he basically [TS]

00:26:06   like makes if he makes one of those hit [TS]

00:26:09   when he shows up backstage at the show [TS]

00:26:11   and they have one of those hospitality [TS]

00:26:13   trays that's just celery and create a [TS]

00:26:16   college and and who miss em and the rest [TS]

00:26:19   of us go [TS]

00:26:19   ah a little goes yeah because that's [TS]

00:26:23   like that's as good as it's gonna get [TS]

00:26:26   and what a world what a world connection [TS]

00:26:28   going places and not gonna be able to [TS]

00:26:30   like even have any animal in it that [TS]

00:26:31   must be so challenging [TS]

00:26:33   well I'm up so so might you know [TS]

00:26:35   obviously I could feel like sugar is [TS]

00:26:36   poison I've said that a lot of times but [TS]

00:26:38   i also am i also feel a compulsion to go [TS]

00:26:43   to war to the sugar in every case and [TS]

00:26:46   iím seed a fundraiser fundraising event [TS]

00:26:49   the other night and there were 400 [TS]

00:26:52   desserts at this thing and I just was [TS]

00:26:56   like I can't be in this room and not [TS]

00:26:59   have a cookie and i have to be in this [TS]

00:27:01   room so i have to have a cook it [TS]

00:27:03   wouldn't be charitable and John you [TS]

00:27:04   really you should show a little bit of [TS]

00:27:06   gratitude by having some of their [TS]

00:27:07   cookies [TS]

00:27:07   well so I had some cookies and then the [TS]

00:27:09   next day and this is bet you have gone [TS]

00:27:11   for months with no with you know no [TS]

00:27:15   voluntary sugar intake the next day I [TS]

00:27:17   was like like Jenna and fudge sundae and [TS]

00:27:19   then that they and then having had a hot [TS]

00:27:21   fumble at two o'clock in the morning i [TS]

00:27:24   was like isn't there a candied apple [TS]

00:27:25   around here somewhere [TS]

00:27:27   haha and you know it's just like a seam [TS]

00:27:32   I feel like there's a candy apple hear [TS]

00:27:34   some candied apple in this house [TS]

00:27:36   somewhere [TS]

00:27:36   time like going through the going [TS]

00:27:38   through the dirty clothes hamper I know [TS]

00:27:40   there's a candied apple in this house [TS]

00:27:41   somewhere so i have to just move just [TS]

00:27:45   the worst and you know and I look at Ted [TS]

00:27:47   Leo and it's not like he it's not like [TS]

00:27:49   he walks along and it's just like you [TS]

00:27:50   know what I'm at this I'm playing this [TS]

00:27:52   benefit for the bacon concert council [TS]

00:27:55   and I should just have a bacon [TS]

00:27:58   just because you know just I'm here yeah [TS]

00:28:01   shoulders esprit de corps yeah that's [TS]

00:28:03   right and and then he has a bacon and [TS]

00:28:05   then the next day he's he's ordering the [TS]

00:28:07   like five meat platter at Jack's [TS]

00:28:09   barbecue [TS]

00:28:10   no he just is like it that he has you [TS]

00:28:14   know it's basically like Dave Pisans [TS]

00:28:15   outfit ted leo has solved the [TS]

00:28:17   food products so smart because there's [TS]

00:28:19   only seven foods I got to I got two [TS]

00:28:21   cookies for you one very quickly i found [TS]

00:28:24   myself as one does i found myself on the [TS]

00:28:28   website for soiling and I paused I my [TS]

00:28:34   hovered i hovered over the Triad about [TS]

00:28:35   $85 version i hovered over it [TS]

00:28:38   there's a part of me that thinks if i [TS]

00:28:39   can get this dicked i can get a lot of [TS]

00:28:41   stuff done but I just I couldn't do it i [TS]

00:28:43   couldn't pull the trigger [TS]

00:28:44   I'm with you and I have a friend that [TS]

00:28:46   doesn't have an appeal though i have a [TS]

00:28:47   friend that ordered it yeah I got [TS]

00:28:49   friends I have friends who swear by like [TS]

00:28:51   smart Brett rest of the guys birthday's [TS]

00:28:53   always showing up on your skype yeah I [TS]

00:28:54   think he's a silent guy I my pal said [TS]

00:28:57   that what happened was he ordered it and [TS]

00:28:59   then a the rule is if you're already on [TS]

00:29:03   the Soylent train then your then the [TS]

00:29:07   soil it just is flowing right on the [TS]

00:29:09   spice and the spice but if you're new to [TS]

00:29:12   the soil and train you gotta wait in the [TS]

00:29:15   station and they send you emails like [TS]

00:29:18   you're someone's coming but it's gonna [TS]

00:29:19   be it's gonna be five more weeks it's [TS]

00:29:23   like a zit a supply-and-demand problem [TS]

00:29:25   yeah they're scaling up and there is [TS]

00:29:27   only one point for whatever there's a [TS]

00:29:29   new version they have version numbers on [TS]

00:29:31   their food so I 1.4 yea and perhaps [TS]

00:29:33   threats very excited about the new 1i [TS]

00:29:35   think you don't have to add like I like [TS]

00:29:37   oil to it anymore [TS]

00:29:38   oh that sucks 61like isn't part of me [TS]

00:29:44   that thinks you know what I should do is [TS]

00:29:46   get the 400 and something dollars [TS]

00:29:47   version so i don't have money anymore [TS]

00:29:48   and I have to eat it i think i should [TS]

00:29:50   force myself to eat for a month [TS]

00:29:52   this sounds like something you would try [TS]

00:29:54   John just just as a thought technology i [TS]

00:29:56   could see you saying I'm gonna do this [TS]

00:29:58   for a month and that's just going to be [TS]

00:29:59   a thing I do [TS]

00:30:00   oh I'm very curious about it don't it [TS]

00:30:02   sounds I mean let's be honest it sounds [TS]

00:30:03   miserable it sound it sounds like [TS]

00:30:05   punishment but it's like going on some [TS]

00:30:07   kind of a diet or a purge or cruise like [TS]

00:30:09   something you really regret but but you [TS]

00:30:11   know but you gotta really go off balls [TS]

00:30:13   in you know I'm saying well the thing [TS]

00:30:15   about the thing about punishment is that [TS]

00:30:18   I derive a lot of pleasure from [TS]

00:30:19   punishment and if ever you see you're on [TS]

00:30:22   record John suffering is not punishment [TS]

00:30:24   that's right and so so all these all [TS]

00:30:27   these deprivation diets where it's like [TS]

00:30:29   all right for the next three days all [TS]

00:30:30   you get to do [TS]

00:30:31   because hot lemon juice and then you get [TS]

00:30:33   to put a little even then you get to put [TS]

00:30:35   a little agave and your hot lemon juice [TS]

00:30:37   for three it's like a little up it's [TS]

00:30:39   driving me crazy like i don't i don't [TS]

00:30:41   like it but if if if the tie it was [TS]

00:30:44   every day you drink one mug of cement [TS]

00:30:49   mix and then in the afternoon another [TS]

00:30:53   mug of cement mix and then a sensible [TS]

00:30:55   dinner you know where where your stomach [TS]

00:31:00   was just full of this you know of a [TS]

00:31:03   basically like a like concrete made of [TS]

00:31:06   nuts or whatever that stuff is it i mean [TS]

00:31:09   they basically they go to out they go to [TS]

00:31:11   laboratory store and buy magnesium [TS]

00:31:15   potassium aluminum flakes and and and [TS]

00:31:19   and put some oil in it right that's yeah [TS]

00:31:21   soil is yeah it's like it's like it is a [TS]

00:31:25   little bit like edible concrete but [TS]

00:31:26   here's here's my problem in and like [TS]

00:31:28   again this is a little personal but like [TS]

00:31:30   I'm the heater in the family I am the [TS]

00:31:32   one of the three of us who live in our [TS]

00:31:34   household [TS]

00:31:34   I'm the one that likes to have a meal on [TS]

00:31:36   a plate right with parts and I want two [TS]

00:31:39   or three parts even if it's just if it's [TS]

00:31:41   just like a steak & noodles that still [TS]

00:31:43   counts as a meal but I want to serve it [TS]

00:31:45   at the same time I want it on a plate [TS]

00:31:47   I want it to be hot and I want to use a [TS]

00:31:48   fork I want to be seated I don't want to [TS]

00:31:50   be eating it over the sink I will sit [TS]

00:31:52   and watch TV while I am NOT an animal [TS]

00:31:54   but but i am the only one in the house [TS]

00:31:57   that cares one iota one whit about that [TS]

00:31:59   my daughter would be fine as soon as the [TS]

00:32:01   rice is done as soon as the noodles are [TS]

00:32:02   done [TS]

00:32:03   she's ready for dinner and I'm like no [TS]

00:32:04   it's not food yet that's just one [TS]

00:32:05   constituent but I i'm learning i am the [TS]

00:32:08   only person who cares about that so I'm [TS]

00:32:09   the one who's gonna have to make that [TS]

00:32:11   happen because they're both perfectly [TS]

00:32:12   happy i can get my daughter noodles [TS]

00:32:14   carrots and cucumbers and that that's [TS]

00:32:16   that's almost a meal [TS]

00:32:17   she's happy with that it is there is [TS]

00:32:20   there a window of time during which [TS]

00:32:22   dinner has to happen for you [TS]

00:32:25   um no not really my I mean the only [TS]

00:32:29   thing to that point is that i tend to [TS]

00:32:31   forget to eat like right now my stomach [TS]

00:32:32   is audibly rumbling because i forgot to [TS]

00:32:33   eat today I do that a lot but now no [TS]

00:32:36   what about you no no i mean so it's [TS]

00:32:39   sometimes dinner happens at 9pm [TS]

00:32:41   sometimes dinner happens at [TS]

00:32:43   for the afternoon sometimes dinner [TS]

00:32:45   happens it at 1am well your kids now in [TS]

00:32:48   an age where I think you can appreciate [TS]

00:32:50   the importance of the Cascade where you [TS]

00:32:53   know anything could potentially happen [TS]

00:32:55   anytime if I didn't really could fuck [TS]

00:32:57   everything up so there's a certain order [TS]

00:32:59   to things right listen up this is not [TS]

00:33:01   nam this is bowling right right so you [TS]

00:33:03   got the thing is if you want to have [TS]

00:33:05   story enough time for stories at bedtime [TS]

00:33:07   you gotta get the baths by a certain [TS]

00:33:08   time to have it i asked by a certain [TS]

00:33:09   time we need to have you know homework [TS]

00:33:12   done and food and all that so the thing [TS]

00:33:13   is if you do have dinner at seven [TS]

00:33:15   o'clock the kind of screws up everything [TS]

00:33:16   he does and this is what happened last [TS]

00:33:18   night I was uh I had talked my daughter [TS]

00:33:21   into bed I had sort of laid down on her [TS]

00:33:24   bed to say goodnight to her and I saying [TS]

00:33:29   you know frère Jacques to her and then [TS]

00:33:34   after you sing Frere Jacques she wants [TS]

00:33:35   you to sing in English she's not [TS]

00:33:38   satisfied if you just think in English [TS]

00:33:40   she wants it in french first and then [TS]

00:33:43   it's like a tiny little kickback [TS]

00:33:45   that's right angry at everyone now [TS]

00:33:48   sacre bleu sacre bleu [TS]

00:33:52   so and then I'm lying there and and i [TS]

00:33:57   say as i do at the end of every day with [TS]

00:33:59   her i said to have any other questions [TS]

00:34:01   you never have other questions [TS]

00:34:08   oh she always does and she takes she is [TS]

00:34:11   so she knows so she's a little bit of a [TS]

00:34:13   thumbsucker and she knows that daddy [TS]

00:34:14   will not answer a question that is asked [TS]

00:34:17   but passed a thumb right if you're going [TS]

00:34:20   to ask a question of a grown-up you have [TS]

00:34:22   to take your thumb out of your mouth one [TS]

00:34:24   of the basic rules and a lot of [TS]

00:34:26   Millennials can learn that John you know [TS]

00:34:27   what I apply that to every I you know I [TS]

00:34:29   said it to a cop the other day listen [TS]

00:34:31   I'm not going to answer your question [TS]

00:34:32   sir unless you get your thumb out of [TS]

00:34:33   your mouth so she takes them out of her [TS]

00:34:37   mouth she she you know she looks at me [TS]

00:34:39   seriously and she says Danny what is [TS]

00:34:43   beauty and I'm like this is last night [TS]

00:34:48   and I'm like oh what is beauty [TS]

00:34:50   Jesus [TS]

00:34:52   and so I so I go you know I give up I [TS]

00:34:56   give a basic sort of careful once-over [TS]

00:35:03   through beauty that's just there's so [TS]

00:35:06   many little sand traps in that lot of [TS]

00:35:09   sand traps and a lot of you know a lot [TS]

00:35:10   of stuff that you have to be careful of [TS]

00:35:13   of you know your language and then your [TS]

00:35:16   metal language and your pre language but [TS]

00:35:19   you also have to watch how long a pause [TS]

00:35:20   to think about it that's right you have [TS]

00:35:22   to just get an answer out because there [TS]

00:35:24   it is and you know maybe it makes it i [TS]

00:35:28   think the longer i feei feel like the [TS]

00:35:30   longer i wait to compose a good answer [TS]

00:35:33   the more it's going to feel like [TS]

00:35:34   bullshit right well and the other thing [TS]

00:35:36   is I feel like kids even young kids have [TS]

00:35:39   enough intrinsic logic to know that an [TS]

00:35:42   answer along the lines of well beauty is [TS]

00:35:44   what you make it or beauty is different [TS]

00:35:46   for everybody is also kind of a lie [TS]

00:35:49   I mean that is true and you need to [TS]

00:35:51   communicate that concept that beauty is [TS]

00:35:53   relative but if Beauty it's it's like [TS]

00:35:59   all that stuff that people say like oh [TS]

00:36:00   it's different for everybody and no it's [TS]

00:36:02   just better that's not nice like that's [TS]

00:36:03   right it's like if that were true then [TS]

00:36:05   we wouldn't talk about it all the time [TS]

00:36:07   and there wouldn't be a word for it [TS]

00:36:08   right so anyway give an answer and she's [TS]

00:36:12   you know got a couple of follow-up [TS]

00:36:13   questions and at some point she says [TS]

00:36:17   like you know because I because I said [TS]

00:36:20   like some people think that is that a [TS]

00:36:21   bunch of sailboats on a lake on a sunny [TS]

00:36:23   day is very beautiful to see the [TS]

00:36:25   sailboats all together on the lake [TS]

00:36:27   other people don't have they don't feel [TS]

00:36:30   that emotion when they see a bunch of [TS]

00:36:33   sailboats they just see boats they don't [TS]

00:36:35   see the beauty and she said my eyes are [TS]

00:36:39   beautiful because everybody says that to [TS]

00:36:44   her and so she's trying to like fit that [TS]

00:36:47   in that you like sort of two sailboats [TS]

00:36:49   yeah like what am I supposed to do with [TS]

00:36:52   this basically she's asked me what is [TS]

00:36:54   beauty because she's single [TS]

00:36:55   what am I supposed to do with this when [TS]

00:36:56   everybody says my eyes are beautiful [TS]

00:36:58   what does that mean and what are they [TS]

00:37:01   saying [TS]

00:37:01   and when is what am i how do i do what [TS]

00:37:03   do i do with what's my take away [TS]

00:37:05   and I was like I don't think there's [TS]

00:37:08   anybody that would disagree that your [TS]

00:37:09   eyes are beautiful but i'm sure i could [TS]

00:37:13   find somebody who's like Blair they'll [TS]

00:37:18   look but so i gotta so you know she's [TS]

00:37:21   finally you know she finally has had [TS]

00:37:23   some food for thought I was like you [TS]

00:37:26   know remember the james bond movie where [TS]

00:37:28   where roger moore gets on a circus train [TS]

00:37:31   that's universally regarded as not [TS]

00:37:35   beautiful by everybody is like an aging [TS]

00:37:37   roger morris dressed as a clown me and [TS]

00:37:39   she's like right right idea i agree i [TS]

00:37:42   know what that I know what you mean now [TS]

00:37:43   but I get out of a room i close the door [TS]

00:37:46   i say goodnight sweetheart close the [TS]

00:37:47   door I look up at the clock it's ten [TS]

00:37:49   o'clock now I'm like how did this happen [TS]

00:37:52   how did I get to ten o'clock here i did [TS]

00:37:55   not i had there was dinner and there was [TS]

00:37:58   a there was some storytelling and then [TS]

00:38:02   there was pajamas got on and weds ten [TS]

00:38:04   o'clock every night I say this to my [TS]

00:38:06   wife twice a week but every night at a [TS]

00:38:09   different time I don't know when it [TS]

00:38:10   happens but at some point between [TS]

00:38:12   usually about 4 15 and 6 45 and our [TS]

00:38:16   disappears [TS]

00:38:17   there's an hour i cannot account for [TS]

00:38:19   every night I'm like what the fuck how [TS]

00:38:21   is it 630 yeah those hours are going [TS]

00:38:23   somewhere [TS]

00:38:25   well they're going back to nineteen [TS]

00:38:26   ninety-seven they're trying to rebuild [TS]

00:38:27   the missing teen is that totally makes [TS]

00:38:30   sense there I they're like collecting [TS]

00:38:32   like people are resilient dump trying to [TS]

00:38:33   get some milk cartons in the ear out of [TS]

00:38:35   it that's right exactly [TS]

00:38:36   ah that explains a lot on well I feel [TS]

00:38:40   like this is the thing about about [TS]

00:38:42   multiple multiverses and I feel that's [TS]

00:38:44   the thing about what happens if you go [TS]

00:38:46   into the black hole and you are in the [TS]

00:38:48   room of a of all the times and you start [TS]

00:38:53   knocking books off the shelf [TS]

00:38:54   yeah yeah pretty soon you're going to [TS]

00:38:56   make a year somewhere where you're going [TS]

00:38:59   to take a year away [TS]

00:39:00   well it makes sense because of the [TS]

00:39:02   differences in gravity when you know [TS]

00:39:04   what we need to get Neil deGrasse Tyson [TS]

00:39:05   on here okay [TS]

00:39:07   he's going to have his whole you know [TS]

00:39:08   like blah blah blah theories [TS]

00:39:10   yeah about it and then we'll get Ted [TS]

00:39:13   Cruz and he can give us his theories [TS]

00:39:16   okay um and jump in here the [TS]

00:39:19   other thing that I did related to food [TS]

00:39:20   part 2 yeah I am tried some different [TS]

00:39:25   Salisbury steaks see what you did it [TS]

00:39:28   even sounds big comparison test yeah [TS]

00:39:31   apparently one night apparently well [TS]

00:39:35   apparently a few nights ago I cooked two [TS]

00:39:38   different brands of Salisbury steak and [TS]

00:39:41   to do a side-by-side tests are you [TS]

00:39:42   saying that this happened during a [TS]

00:39:44   blackout or some kind of everything that [TS]

00:39:46   happens after my family goes to bed [TS]

00:39:48   that's what I do most of my science [TS]

00:39:49   because it's just it's just easier to [TS]

00:39:52   cleaner environment [TS]

00:39:53   let's talk with beauty so I cooked it up [TS]

00:39:55   and I I knew the winner going into it [TS]

00:39:57   you can tell the winner just by looking [TS]

00:39:59   at the ingredients [TS]

00:40:00   yeah but I did I could not find the [TS]

00:40:03   boiling bag i think that's an artifact [TS]

00:40:04   this point that breaks my heart [TS]

00:40:05   unless we go to ebay i don't think we're [TS]

00:40:07   going to find boil in bag Salisbury [TS]

00:40:08   steak but i did get a nicely paired [TS]

00:40:11   Stouffer Salisbury steak with macaroni [TS]

00:40:13   cheese and then I got some kind of like [TS]

00:40:15   weird off-brand cafeteria food one to [TS]

00:40:18   compare it with and this tho those [TS]

00:40:20   surfers was much much better it was it [TS]

00:40:22   was you know it was it was good the [TS]

00:40:24   other one was not was was categorically [TS]

00:40:26   not good the other one had that kind of [TS]

00:40:29   like a cafeteria like elementary school [TS]

00:40:32   cafeteria hamburger feel to it [TS]

00:40:34   yeah well when you look at the [TS]

00:40:36   ingredients if if like the second or [TS]

00:40:39   third ingredient is dog food okay you [TS]

00:40:42   know that's not that's the one to leave [TS]

00:40:44   bond [TS]

00:40:45   yeah yeah well you know it's funny [TS]

00:40:46   because I mean the first ingredient is [TS]

00:40:48   gravy [TS]

00:40:49   it's mostly great gravy and Salisbury [TS]

00:40:51   steak because my weight but you know the [TS]

00:40:53   stuff is pretty good imma stick with it [TS]

00:40:55   i'm gonna go through all the ones that [TS]

00:40:56   got the storm that rhyme all I'm not [TS]

00:40:57   gonna write it up on our blogger not an [TS]

00:40:58   animal but i will try all of them on but [TS]

00:41:02   it was pretty damn good [TS]

00:41:03   here's my mean my hack of course is you [TS]

00:41:06   always make a little pot of egg noodles [TS]

00:41:08   and i know that for next time that [TS]

00:41:11   doubles the it just doubles the [TS]

00:41:13   experience right because then the [TS]

00:41:15   gravy's got somewhere to go and you got [TS]

00:41:17   a little bit of get a little noodle with [TS]

00:41:19   every bite I i took note from you though [TS]

00:41:21   I believe your advice is always make the [TS]

00:41:23   whole thing always make it all so if you [TS]

00:41:26   get the package of wide egg noodles from [TS]

00:41:29   the grocery store you always cook the [TS]

00:41:30   whole thing make the whole thing [TS]

00:41:32   I i do that now and then i have the [TS]

00:41:34   leftovers i put in a ziploc bag and then [TS]

00:41:35   I can have one of the things i think [TS]

00:41:37   they call it second dinner that night I [TS]

00:41:39   can have second dinner [TS]

00:41:40   y la after was going to bed mendota [TS]

00:41:42   science now here's the problem is the [TS]

00:41:44   problem this is a problem for me but not [TS]

00:41:46   for you because of my because of my [TS]

00:41:50   gluten relationship my number one [TS]

00:41:55   favorite food of all foods which is [TS]

00:41:57   yesterday's egg noodles and butter in a [TS]

00:42:01   ziploc bag i can no longer I can no [TS]

00:42:04   longer indulge in those and I do not [TS]

00:42:06   want to eat corn pasta or rice pasta so [TS]

00:42:12   I have to forgo what had what basically [TS]

00:42:16   had formerly been the the the junk [TS]

00:42:21   let's call it i mean i'm talking about a [TS]

00:42:23   Chinese junk [TS]

00:42:24   ok right the junk that that that kid [TS]

00:42:27   that ferried me across the sea was [TS]

00:42:31   basically a boat made out of egg noodles [TS]

00:42:34   right that's how I came to be when they [TS]

00:42:36   went when when when they took me down to [TS]

00:42:40   the Nile and they put me in a in a raft [TS]

00:42:43   made of reeds like Moses that raft was [TS]

00:42:48   made of noodles if you if i'm ever [TS]

00:42:50   involved I don't know if you have in [TS]

00:42:52   your will at all but if you wanna have a [TS]

00:42:53   Viking funeral I would find a way to put [TS]

00:42:56   you on a boat made of egg noodles and [TS]

00:42:57   fucking set it on fire i would do that [TS]

00:42:58   for you [TS]

00:42:59   Thank You Merlin that's why we are [TS]

00:43:01   that's why we are friends i am kind of [TS]

00:43:03   confused those are you are you are [TS]

00:43:05   I thought you were like officially at [TS]

00:43:06   that you've given up are you kind of [TS]

00:43:08   back on avoiding the glutens the thing [TS]

00:43:10   is I have to because they are they are [TS]

00:43:13   poisons i hadn't i gave them i gave them [TS]

00:43:15   up and then I was sad and now I had [TS]

00:43:18   cannot be sad it is not upstate that I [TS]

00:43:21   prefer and now I've seen the other side [TS]

00:43:23   i've been to the edge i stood and looked [TS]

00:43:25   down up and down still somehow that's [TS]

00:43:28   right solutions you call but the noodles [TS]

00:43:32   heart so good after all [TS]

00:43:35   uh and I do not want them sam-i-am [TS]

00:43:38   mm and so I I so what I used to do was [TS]

00:43:42   make an entire bag of noodles and then [TS]

00:43:43   you've got a bag then you've got the the [TS]

00:43:45   leftover noodles in the fridge and you [TS]

00:43:47   can throw a handful of already cooked [TS]

00:43:49   noodles into pretty much anything like [TS]

00:43:52   you've got some chili throw a little [TS]

00:43:54   handful of yesterday's noodles on there [TS]

00:43:56   you got some cells break celebrates take [TS]

00:43:59   you even I mean there's almost nothing i [TS]

00:44:02   mean if you have a bean burrito maybe [TS]

00:44:04   don't throw a handful of noodles on it [TS]

00:44:05   but maybe do right but I can't do that [TS]

00:44:09   anymore and so now i look in my [TS]

00:44:12   refrigerator and and I think there's [TS]

00:44:14   some voice in my head that's like find [TS]

00:44:17   the starch but there is no starch and [TS]

00:44:21   your Terminator heads-up display flips [TS]

00:44:23   on just like fuck us all so I can't not [TS]

00:44:27   so I can't find the starch and I and so [TS]

00:44:31   I just you know I just go to have my [TS]

00:44:34   miserable a little little like cheese [TS]

00:44:38   wad you know you take it you take one of [TS]

00:44:43   those pics one of those things that [TS]

00:44:45   letter you put a cheese and this is god [TS]

00:44:48   sue this is uh I well let me give you [TS]

00:44:51   one thought technology i mentioned this [TS]

00:44:53   on another program i don't think i told [TS]

00:44:54   you about this do you know about the [TS]

00:44:56   costco boiled peeled eggs i do and [TS]

00:45:00   here's because here's the deal for like [TS]

00:45:03   eleven dollars you get 24 boiled peeled [TS]

00:45:07   eggs in little packages you have you [TS]

00:45:10   have eggs any time you want to just open [TS]

00:45:12   up internet if you don't want to do a [TS]

00:45:13   fucking egg yeah [TS]

00:45:15   have you tried it i swear i've done it [TS]

00:45:17   three times now I've had three of them I [TS]

00:45:18   don't kill a lot of chickens they're [TS]

00:45:20   really good and super convenient so I [TS]

00:45:23   have a very complicated relationship [TS]

00:45:24   with hard-boiled eggs through hardball [TS]

00:45:29   hard-boiled eggs as you know smell like [TS]

00:45:31   feet and I they are both [TS]

00:45:38   kind of spongy slimy and also chalky [TS]

00:45:41   melee uh-huh right you have to be [TS]

00:45:44   applied through the spongy slimy part to [TS]

00:45:46   get to the chalky merely part and for [TS]

00:45:49   years I didn't want anything to do with [TS]

00:45:51   the hardwell day I don't want anything [TS]

00:45:53   to do with it but then when I was [TS]

00:45:56   walking across Europe you get to that [TS]

00:45:59   point you know so you're in england [TS]

00:46:00   right and you get the you get the deluxe [TS]

00:46:02   English breakfast which is like which is [TS]

00:46:05   like 15 different kinds of food all I is [TS]

00:46:08   it like an Irish Breakfast irish [TS]

00:46:09   breakfast yesterday [TS]

00:46:10   yeah it's like my putting you get the [TS]

00:46:12   you get the blood sausage you get the [TS]

00:46:14   liens you always get beans in my [TS]

00:46:16   experience an irish breakfast is sort of [TS]

00:46:18   a uniform brown they're shooting for a [TS]

00:46:20   brown kind of like a universally [TS]

00:46:23   golden-brown yeah yeah [TS]

00:46:24   an English breakfast really wants the [TS]

00:46:27   entire breakfast ultimately to be the [TS]

00:46:29   color of the whole of a ship it's trying [TS]

00:46:33   to get a kind of steely gray a steely [TS]

00:46:36   gray color and it's grim and dignified [TS]

00:46:39   it's really it's really grim and and I [TS]

00:46:42   think we've talked about this before [TS]

00:46:43   where the English the United Kingdom [TS]

00:46:46   people who eat these breakfasts they [TS]

00:46:50   need a little bit of this and then they [TS]

00:46:51   move over need a little bit of that and [TS]

00:46:52   then move it a little bit of that and if [TS]

00:46:54   you are an American and you look at this [TS]

00:46:57   plate of beans and and tomatoes and so [TS]

00:47:01   forth and you're just like great and you [TS]

00:47:02   stir it all up together in one kind of [TS]

00:47:04   like soupy mush boy it really affects [TS]

00:47:08   them it makes them recoil in horror they [TS]

00:47:12   have a lot of you know what I mean they [TS]

00:47:13   like they like to wait in lines they [TS]

00:47:15   have a lot of the English people have a [TS]

00:47:16   lot of they definitely like things a [TS]

00:47:18   certain way [TS]

00:47:19   yeah and do not think you should make [TS]

00:47:21   sure English and they survived for [TS]

00:47:22   thousands of years with a certain kind [TS]

00:47:24   of order right but then you cross the [TS]

00:47:26   channel and then you are in the land of [TS]

00:47:29   black bread and hard-boiled eggs and [TS]

00:47:32   every day you get you could eat you you [TS]

00:47:35   go someplace for breakfast and they're [TS]

00:47:36   like here's some black bread here is [TS]

00:47:39   some momento lo this is more germany had [TS]

00:47:44   touchy German land who move monster land [TS]

00:47:49   let's call it whoo & [TS]

00:47:51   I love that pimento loaf right salami [TS]

00:47:53   with little bits in it like not but like [TS]

00:47:57   yeah like little bits of olive and [TS]

00:48:01   pistachios and you know I'm talking to [TS]

00:48:03   me and now I I do i do and then I tend [TS]

00:48:06   to skip over those things [TS]

00:48:07   well sure as you do right but if you're [TS]

00:48:10   sitting if you're starving to death as i [TS]

00:48:12   was literally to death and you and you [TS]

00:48:16   have opportunity to avail yourself of [TS]

00:48:18   our breakfast there is a house brow who [TS]

00:48:20   is presenting you with a breakfast on [TS]

00:48:23   and maybe going to watch you eat it [TS]

00:48:24   absolutely gonna watch it and there's [TS]

00:48:26   some kind of bread that is the color of [TS]

00:48:29   like raw raw crude oil and then there is [TS]

00:48:34   a pimento loaf and then maybe a second [TS]

00:48:38   pimento loaf and then a hard-boiled egg [TS]

00:48:40   you're like Jesus at least I know what [TS]

00:48:43   the egg is tonight at least I recognize [TS]

00:48:45   the egg so I started to i started to eat [TS]

00:48:48   these eggs and I realized that hard [TS]

00:48:50   boiled eggs are amazing [TS]

00:48:52   now I'm in my thirties at this point [TS]

00:48:54   uh-huh [TS]

00:48:55   never never really enjoyed an egg now I [TS]

00:48:58   was really enjoying an egg but when I [TS]

00:49:01   got back to America and I was in a land [TS]

00:49:03   of plenty [TS]

00:49:04   again where I had a refrigerator full of [TS]

00:49:07   yesterday's noodles boil-in-the-bag [TS]

00:49:10   Salisbury steaks on the hoof it was very [TS]

00:49:15   difficult for me to go back to this this [TS]

00:49:18   privation diet huh [TS]

00:49:20   right where I once upon a time had [TS]

00:49:23   enjoyed hardball days and i have not [TS]

00:49:25   i've never been able to put it back into [TS]

00:49:26   gear because I because I never and [TS]

00:49:30   confronted with pimento loaf so [TS]

00:49:32   hard-boiled egg has fallen back to the [TS]

00:49:34   bottom of the list i get it and having [TS]

00:49:36   my dad I think I think my dad in a my [TS]

00:49:39   late father any more enlightened age [TS]

00:49:41   would probably have been diagnosed with [TS]

00:49:43   PTSD from being Korea and it was really [TS]

00:49:46   rough time he was an infant really oh [TS]

00:49:48   yeah he could be around fireworks and [TS]

00:49:51   then another one was that he just [TS]

00:49:55   chicken and rice [TS]

00:49:56   he just did not ever want to see it [TS]

00:49:58   again because you walk around Korea and [TS]

00:50:00   you kill a bunch of fucking chickens [TS]

00:50:01   need some rice and that's what they did [TS]

00:50:02   all the time while [TS]

00:50:03   they were miserable and I don't you know [TS]

00:50:04   even for a man in his twenties I think [TS]

00:50:06   that has enough of a kind of imprint on [TS]

00:50:09   chicken as bad news index in your case [TS]

00:50:12   once your way from the provision of the [TS]

00:50:13   of the brown bread and the and the eggs [TS]

00:50:16   watch your back to the SS brown the hoof [TS]

00:50:19   like why would you why would you go back [TS]

00:50:20   why have an egg in an egg and onion as [TS]

00:50:22   you're saying an egg is a perfect little [TS]

00:50:24   dollop it's a perfect little thing you [TS]

00:50:26   can go to costco and by 25 of them in a [TS]

00:50:28   bag already peeled [TS]

00:50:30   well I mean you're living in the future [TS]

00:50:31   dude if you've got some frozen bacon you [TS]

00:50:33   get some frozen bacon and a couple eggs [TS]

00:50:34   you get breakfast on the go my friends [TS]

00:50:36   wow it's such a it's such a thought act [TS]

00:50:39   mhm but I just can't I just you know [TS]

00:50:41   what it is I'm afraid that I'm gonna [TS]

00:50:43   open up that bag of 25 eggs and that [TS]

00:50:47   smell of feet [TS]

00:50:49   yeah it's going to come out of there and [TS]

00:50:51   I'm and I'm I'm gonna be like I'm gonna [TS]

00:50:53   have to go into an isolation two guys [TS]

00:50:55   with it people you can certainly Gary oh [TS]

00:51:00   my god i saw Skeeter the other day [TS]

00:51:02   yeah he does not look well I don't know [TS]

00:51:05   Skeeter Skeeter is in trouble and and [TS]

00:51:08   and he they were yelling at Gary and [TS]

00:51:11   gary was yelling they were it was like [TS]

00:51:13   the things are coming to a head over [TS]

00:51:14   there calm now you're yelling carry and [TS]

00:51:17   he was like what could i do when they [TS]

00:51:18   were like do something well what you [TS]

00:51:21   think it means [TS]

00:51:22   well I don't know I just mean who knows [TS]

00:51:24   ah but then i but then i had a lot kind [TS]

00:51:26   of a long conversation with Skeeter and [TS]

00:51:28   he's like oh yeah they don't have my [TS]

00:51:29   medication right and I'm by looked and [TS]

00:51:31   he was like I looked bad i was and i [TS]

00:51:34   said i said scare you look bad [TS]

00:51:37   it was like yeah i know we just need it [TS]

00:51:38   we just need to figure out the figure [TS]

00:51:41   out the cocktail [TS]

00:51:43   well that's like this room I don't think [TS]

00:51:45   you need to figure out a cocktail friend [TS]

00:51:48   yeah it's but it's a it's it's pretty [TS]

00:51:50   rough over there but but you know i am [TS]

00:51:55   my brother's keeper in a way yeah and so [TS]

00:51:58   you know help out when I can [TS]

00:52:00   yeah yeah you know anything set on fire [TS]

00:52:02   that's for sure no i don't and i don't i [TS]

00:52:06   don't want frankly I don't want Gary [TS]

00:52:08   living in the front yard anymore but you [TS]

00:52:10   know Gary might be the only thing that's [TS]

00:52:12   holding that whole thing down right it's [TS]

00:52:14   like it's a guy like a human [TS]

00:52:16   a game of Jenga you don't move the van [TS]

00:52:18   that's right you move the van but well [TS]

00:52:20   the thing is this is what's crazy i came [TS]

00:52:22   up i came out the other day the man had [TS]

00:52:24   moved it had just moved to a different [TS]

00:52:27   place he stipulated it doesn't run well [TS]

00:52:30   it had must have it must have run enough [TS]

00:52:33   to pull out where it was and then repart [TS]

00:52:36   itself and what I feel like is that they [TS]

00:52:39   had a big fight they were like you're [TS]

00:52:41   out of here and he went out and spent [TS]

00:52:44   what she probably was two-and-a-half [TS]

00:52:46   hours getting the van started then he [TS]

00:52:50   got into gear he pulled it around as [TS]

00:52:54   though he was gonna load up his [TS]

00:52:56   extension cord and he needed to find his [TS]

00:52:59   weed whacker or something you know like [TS]

00:53:02   he was like they're so you know I'm [TS]

00:53:04   gonna Park it here while I go in and get [TS]

00:53:05   the stuff my stuff I gotta go get my [TS]

00:53:08   stuff out of the kitchen or something [TS]

00:53:10   oh so you think maybe the the lady that [TS]

00:53:12   who runs the house might have said it's [TS]

00:53:14   time to go [TS]

00:53:15   something there was some kind of [TS]

00:53:16   experience there was something i don't [TS]

00:53:18   think he would have started that band [TS]

00:53:19   for any other reason other than we could [TS]

00:53:21   have over the last whatever year to he [TS]

00:53:23   would I mean if I if I were they I mean [TS]

00:53:25   finally live and also be driving a van [TS]

00:53:27   if I could see personally think when you [TS]

00:53:29   think [TS]

00:53:29   yeah so he started the band he he reap [TS]

00:53:33   parked it went inside to get his spatula [TS]

00:53:36   and then they had a rock pro small m and [TS]

00:53:43   or you know it was kind of like when I [TS]

00:53:46   was a teenager right my mom said you're [TS]

00:53:48   bad you're bad a your bad kid and go [TS]

00:53:52   live with your father and so I went and [TS]

00:53:55   I went to live with my dad and when I [TS]

00:53:58   came back over to visit my mom had [TS]

00:54:01   turned my bedroom into a guest room [TS]

00:54:02   about I've told you the story that [TS]

00:54:04   subtle and show and replaced by whoever [TS]

00:54:08   shows up yeah and and this with the full [TS]

00:54:11   knowledge that she has never had a guest [TS]

00:54:12   spend the night [TS]

00:54:13   yeah she had a guest e-type is no so she [TS]

00:54:15   has a guest room and it's for Elijah [TS]

00:54:18   basically right there's never no one's [TS]

00:54:20   ever going to state it was this is [TS]

00:54:22   unintentionally black [TS]

00:54:24   it was just it was just that she took [TS]

00:54:27   all of my stuff and all of my paintings [TS]

00:54:29   and stuff down off the wall and put a [TS]

00:54:31   flower bed spread on the bed it was like [TS]

00:54:33   wow it's the guest room and so when he [TS]

00:54:35   John and I for a couple of months i live [TS]

00:54:38   with my dad which you know i found just [TS]

00:54:42   it just basically intolerable just [TS]

00:54:44   because my dad was a bit busy body and [TS]

00:54:47   it just felt like you know it felt like [TS]

00:54:50   staying with mom was a prize that I had [TS]

00:54:53   to earn I had to re-learn and I was [TS]

00:54:56   going to do that immediately write it [TS]

00:54:58   was you can't you can't give me the give [TS]

00:55:01   me a red ribbon and and put the blue [TS]

00:55:04   ribbon up on a shelf right I'm gonna go [TS]

00:55:06   for the Blue Ribbon who so i started [TS]

00:55:09   going over to my mom's house and then [TS]

00:55:10   you know it's sneak in and and end up [TS]

00:55:12   spending the night in the guest room but [TS]

00:55:15   it was like a it was it was a little bit [TS]

00:55:18   of a I never fully read I never fully [TS]

00:55:25   read joined that room for that house for [TS]

00:55:31   like three more years I never really put [TS]

00:55:34   my paintings back up on the wall [TS]

00:55:36   I never really it was still a little bit [TS]

00:55:41   of the guest room until I graduate from [TS]

00:55:45   high school and moved out [TS]

00:55:48   and for the first time rollin right this [TS]

00:55:54   moment I have no idea how I got on that [TS]

00:55:56   topic haha and all of our time together [TS]

00:55:59   you're right you're pivoting you're red [TS]

00:56:01   you're pivoting from Gary in the van [TS]

00:56:03   oh right so what you but your mom I mean [TS]

00:56:06   you know just a close you helped her fix [TS]

00:56:08   up her house I mean but this is what I'm [TS]

00:56:10   saying I feel like Gary moved the van [TS]

00:56:12   the van is in a new position now but it [TS]

00:56:16   is in a position that is sort of pointed [TS]

00:56:18   out the driveway instead of tucked [TS]

00:56:22   safely behind the hedge and so even if [TS]

00:56:25   Gary lives there for two more years he's [TS]

00:56:28   never he's it bc he's going to show up [TS]

00:56:31   there he's going to see the van [TS]

00:56:33   positioned its new position and he's [TS]

00:56:35   never gonna feel a hundred percent [TS]

00:56:37   oh because you're his paintings were off [TS]

00:56:39   the wall his paintings are off the wall [TS]

00:56:41   van is divided the van is closer [TS]

00:56:44   potentially closer to moving than it was [TS]

00:56:46   before right and so he's in a he is he's [TS]

00:56:49   changed his superposition 21 of like [TS]

00:56:54   motion i had a prediction you know [TS]

00:56:58   what's gonna happen i think about why [TS]

00:57:01   you step pick my daughter up from her [TS]

00:57:04   preschool we would walk the same route [TS]

00:57:06   every day to walk from her school to the [TS]

00:57:08   train to go home and every day every day [TS]

00:57:11   you go to walk and we started noticing [TS]

00:57:14   you know i can kinda can't help but [TS]

00:57:16   notice uh it's January some people start [TS]

00:57:20   sentries on the street [TS]

00:57:22   februari sometimes you see a tree or two [TS]

00:57:25   on the street there was one house we [TS]

00:57:27   passed every day and became a running [TS]

00:57:28   joke i thought was funny and cheated but [TS]

00:57:30   everyday into march into april i would [TS]

00:57:33   say do you think the trees gonna be [TS]

00:57:34   there today [TS]

00:57:35   mhm and and she would say usually yeah i [TS]

00:57:39   think i'll still be there and then one [TS]

00:57:41   day the tree was gonna we never find out [TS]

00:57:42   find out why was there until spring time [TS]

00:57:44   what's gonna happen with the van well [TS]

00:57:46   let's see that's the thing though this [TS]

00:57:47   is the thing about inertia the thing [TS]

00:57:49   about you know momentum the the inertia [TS]

00:57:52   is on the side of Gary's van until it [TS]

00:57:55   moves and then I i think it's going to [TS]

00:57:57   disappear you're never going to know why [TS]

00:57:58   unless you ask [TS]

00:57:59   I think it's gonna be I think it's meant [TS]

00:58:00   to be a mystery [TS]

00:58:01   well so what one of one day I was [TS]

00:58:03   talking to gary and what one of the [TS]

00:58:05   amazing things about Gary of course is [TS]

00:58:07   that you can have a you can have [TS]

00:58:08   multiple conversations with him and he [TS]

00:58:10   has no recollection of ever having met [TS]

00:58:13   you before from one I mean you know he's [TS]

00:58:17   been living across the street for me now [TS]

00:58:19   for stuck for a couple years at least [TS]

00:58:21   no regular introduces himself to me [TS]

00:58:24   every time [TS]

00:58:25   are you serious is it really true yeah [TS]

00:58:27   oh my god comes over introduces me and [TS]

00:58:29   introduced himself to me and starts to [TS]

00:58:31   tell me his story [TS]

00:58:32   okay man I'm just standing here for a [TS]

00:58:34   little while you know just bubbled up [TS]

00:58:36   and I'm like Carrie I fucking know who [TS]

00:58:37   you are afraid we've talked like 15 [TS]

00:58:40   times [TS]

00:58:40   oh sorry man sorry I just do the habit [TS]

00:58:43   of it anyway in one of those [TS]

00:58:45   conversations I learned that Gary grew [TS]

00:58:49   up in that neighborhood who grew up [TS]

00:58:52   three blocks away the native son [TS]

00:58:55   so when I found that out I was I was [TS]

00:59:00   dismayed because it can only mean that [TS]

00:59:02   carry is Gary may never go away hearing [TS]

00:59:07   remove his fan around that front yard [TS]

00:59:11   for 20 more years because yeah he [TS]

00:59:15   remembers that neighborhood from from [TS]

00:59:17   the seventies god that's depressing John [TS]

00:59:21   yeah it is it is depressing but I but [TS]

00:59:24   you know there's there are a lot of [TS]

00:59:28   things that could happen you know what [TS]

00:59:29   there's a million stories in The Naked [TS]

00:59:30   City that's true you know the other day [TS]

00:59:32   I was at a i was at the store as I do as [TS]

00:59:35   I still do even despite having talked [TS]

00:59:38   many times about how I need to stop [TS]

00:59:39   going to thrifty always sounds like [TS]

00:59:41   you're gonna stop it sounds like you've [TS]

00:59:42   had your fill that the the everything [TS]

00:59:45   store has jumped the thrift shark but [TS]

00:59:47   there you are you're back there you're [TS]

00:59:48   looking for bargains and back and [TS]

00:59:50   looking for bargains that's exactly [TS]

00:59:51   right and i'm in there and I don't know [TS]

00:59:53   what I you know you'd never know what [TS]

00:59:54   you're looking for right go in you're [TS]

00:59:56   looking around just looking and looking [TS]

00:59:58   the 15 [TS]

00:59:58   the 15 [TS]

01:00:00   the wizard Harry well and and this is [TS]

01:00:03   what happened so I'm like you know what [TS]

01:00:05   I hardly ever look at belts I'm gonna go [TS]

01:00:08   look at belts and walk over and there's [TS]

01:00:12   just you know total fucking like it [TS]

01:00:16   looks like that it looks like the [TS]

01:00:18   cabling at a at a server farm right [TS]

01:00:23   except its belt human belt human del [TS]

01:00:26   tracking human belt Rat King and I'm [TS]

01:00:29   standing there and I'm like flipping [TS]

01:00:31   through these belts and like as well [TS]

01:00:33   garbage and like you know a belt this [TS]

01:00:35   boy and and belts little sailboats on [TS]

01:00:39   demand that you know right let's see you [TS]

01:00:42   double points boy [TS]

01:00:44   yeah i guess you'd have to transport the [TS]

01:00:47   buckle to a slightly more voluminous [TS]

01:00:49   belt [TS]

01:00:50   yeah or well you know the lot of those [TS]

01:00:51   belts the style was to do as a as your [TS]

01:00:55   daughter was wearing it you know sort of [TS]

01:00:57   tucked in right extra-long like an 80 [TS]

01:01:00   spelt that sort of tucked around so [TS]

01:01:02   maybe i might even be able to wear one [TS]

01:01:03   of those boy belts but anyway i'm [TS]

01:01:06   flipping through and flipping through [TS]

01:01:07   and then I find a belt and I'm like you [TS]

01:01:10   know you just you get used to in thrift [TS]

01:01:11   stores you can get that the tips of your [TS]

01:01:13   fingers kind of can feel when something [TS]

01:01:15   is of a different grade ever make you [TS]

01:01:18   flip through the shirts or like garbage [TS]

01:01:20   garbage garbage and then you touch up [TS]

01:01:21   fabric and you're like that's a nice [TS]

01:01:23   fabric and that's kind of when I pull [TS]

01:01:26   the shirt a little bit to look at look [TS]

01:01:29   at it more closely [TS]

01:01:30   like I don't want to I don't want to [TS]

01:01:31   wear a shirt that I don't like the feel [TS]

01:01:33   of it so a lot of lot of times I just I [TS]

01:01:35   just running my fingers over stuff like [TS]

01:01:36   yet yet yet yet [TS]

01:01:38   and then you find something so I'm [TS]

01:01:40   flipping through these belts there's [TS]

01:01:42   probably 300 belts you know and I touch [TS]

01:01:47   something I'm like that's a different [TS]

01:01:48   feel and I pull this belltown and I'm [TS]

01:01:52   like oh it's you know it's kind of soft [TS]

01:01:53   and then I look at it it's like the [TS]

01:01:55   front of the belt is alligator like [TS]

01:01:58   that's an interesting thing so I pull [TS]

01:02:00   the thing off and I and I put it on and [TS]

01:02:03   it fits me like all right so I like the [TS]

01:02:07   feel it fits me it's kind of I've never [TS]

01:02:10   I've never owned an alligator belt [TS]

01:02:12   because my standard for belts has always [TS]

01:02:16   been like hippie big buckle right like [TS]

01:02:21   rock-and-roll belt i got a lot of [TS]

01:02:24   rock-and-roll belt now I now I want a [TS]

01:02:28   nice belt [TS]

01:02:29   all of a sudden I never had a nice belt [TS]

01:02:33   so look at this thing i turn the belt / [TS]

01:02:35   it's got all these different stamps any [TS]

01:02:38   impressions on the back but tell all [TS]

01:02:41   this information about it which seems [TS]

01:02:45   promising right [TS]

01:02:47   the more information that an item has on [TS]

01:02:49   it the more you are able to research it [TS]

01:02:51   so I take out my phone and I start [TS]

01:02:54   putting in all this data from the back [TS]

01:02:56   of this belt [TS]

01:02:57   turns out it's an eight-hundred-dollar [TS]

01:02:59   alligator belt Wow [TS]

01:03:01   and it was only are they notes on the [TS]

01:03:03   sourcing well it's like the name of so a [TS]

01:03:06   lot of belts you just you look at them [TS]

01:03:07   they have no information on them and [TS]

01:03:09   then the first piece of information that [TS]

01:03:11   you'll find on a belt is this is the [TS]

01:03:12   size so a lot of belts just have the [TS]

01:03:15   size stamped on it uh-huh and then [TS]

01:03:17   you'll have you know if if a company is [TS]

01:03:19   making a belt and they think highly [TS]

01:03:21   enough of themselves that they'll put [TS]

01:03:23   their name on the belt then that's a [TS]

01:03:25   step up and you'll get the you know [TS]

01:03:27   you'll get those belts that are like I [TS]

01:03:29   don't know [TS]

01:03:30   dolce & gabbana or something they put [TS]

01:03:32   their name on it but this was a belt [TS]

01:03:35   that had like like a cursive stamp [TS]

01:03:37   that's in hand made in America and then [TS]

01:03:40   it had you know the name of the [TS]

01:03:42   alligator and had all this stuff and it [TS]

01:03:44   was all it wasn't think it was all like [TS]

01:03:46   embossed was like well let's let's [TS]

01:03:49   research this so I so I find out it's [TS]

01:03:51   this very expensive built now I've [TS]

01:03:54   already been through three that the [TS]

01:03:56   process of like deciding that I like the [TS]

01:03:58   feel of it figuring out it fits so now [TS]

01:04:01   I'm realizing that it is a very [TS]

01:04:02   expensive belt which ignites the [TS]

01:04:05   basically ignites the the bonfire chain [TS]

01:04:09   on top of the mountains that signal the [TS]

01:04:12   riders of rohan hand to ride to the cash [TS]

01:04:16   register and so but [TS]

01:04:22   but I'm thinking to myself like is an [TS]

01:04:25   alligator belt really where I'm headed [TS]

01:04:27   in life is that is that my direction can [TS]

01:04:30   ask the digit and would it not only fit [TS]

01:04:32   you [TS]

01:04:33   it fits great you're kidding that was [TS]

01:04:35   this that's the second thing i do right [TS]

01:04:37   I I pulled it off and i put it around me [TS]

01:04:39   and I was it sounds talismanic John it's [TS]

01:04:41   not like this bell was intended for you [TS]

01:04:42   write like a sword in the stone type [TS]

01:04:44   situation right it's the wand finds you [TS]

01:04:46   Harry [TS]

01:04:47   that's right Harry yes sir i have this [TS]

01:04:49   alligator felt which communicates I mean [TS]

01:04:52   an alligator belt to me communicates [TS]

01:04:54   that you are the either the worst kind [TS]

01:04:56   of lawyer or someone who lives on a boat [TS]

01:05:01   for someone who hates alligators or [TS]

01:05:04   right it could be an alligator hunter [TS]

01:05:06   but i would think that that alligator [TS]

01:05:08   belt would be like something that you [TS]

01:05:10   had made but that's a new kind of [TS]

01:05:11   statement dealt for you so I get this [TS]

01:05:14   belt and I and I take it home I wear it [TS]

01:05:16   I where the next day and i feel i feel [TS]

01:05:19   that weird thing that you feel when you [TS]

01:05:21   are thrifty shopper and you have found a [TS]

01:05:24   little treasure you wear it around and [TS]

01:05:26   it's like it's like our daughters with [TS]

01:05:28   their mismatch socks it's that little [TS]

01:05:31   bit of like I have a secret I my belt [TS]

01:05:36   cost eight hundred dollars [TS]

01:05:38   Wow my belt had my belt formerly cost [TS]

01:05:42   eight hundred dollars at someone else [TS]

01:05:43   paid for it one time and now it's mine [TS]

01:05:46   for 399 so the next day i'm driving [TS]

01:05:52   around town in my alligator belt feeling [TS]

01:05:56   strong and I start to feel that Vegas [TS]

01:05:59   thing like how many of these how many of [TS]

01:06:03   these alligator belts are out there I [TS]

01:06:05   wasn't even all I get it yeah and so I [TS]

01:06:09   head to a thrift store get the itch got [TS]

01:06:12   the itch I walked over to the belt i [TS]

01:06:13   start flipping through the belts at a [TS]

01:06:15   different thrift store the next day why [TS]

01:06:17   I'm wearing my alligator belt i find [TS]

01:06:21   another alligator built by the same [TS]

01:06:23   maker at a different thrift store [TS]

01:06:26   wow what and it also fit me what are the [TS]

01:06:29   chances i don't know now I got to [TS]

01:06:31   alligator belt this is the [TS]

01:06:33   baader-meinhof syndrome like he did [TS]

01:06:35   no alligator belt existing I see him all [TS]

01:06:36   the time yeah now you got two of them [TS]

01:06:38   and i'm walking around like what else is [TS]

01:06:42   gonna happen and right now these are [TS]

01:06:44   these alligator belts are like these are [TS]

01:06:47   very expensive items they communicate to [TS]

01:06:49   somebody they communicate this is what's [TS]

01:06:52   crazy [TS]

01:06:52   whatever it is that these alligator [TS]

01:06:54   belts communicate they only communicate [TS]

01:06:57   that thing to people i will never meet [TS]

01:07:00   or that i hardly ever how it's like a [TS]

01:07:02   dumb mistake challenge coin [TS]

01:07:04   yeah right like it's going to really get [TS]

01:07:06   the influencer significance of it you [TS]

01:07:08   gotta get the significant 7 but you do [TS]

01:07:11   you know what it is you're telegraphing [TS]

01:07:11   with that I have no idea it's like I'm [TS]

01:07:13   where it's like I'm innocent girls like [TS]

01:07:15   a hanky code [TS]

01:07:16   yeah right it's a hanky code I don't [TS]

01:07:18   know where it's like a black box pinging [TS]

01:07:19   on the bottom of the South Pacific that [TS]

01:07:22   no one will ever hear [TS]

01:07:23   I'm walking around sending off these [TS]

01:07:25   powerful like this black belt message [TS]

01:07:29   the best bike belt boner and it's [TS]

01:07:35   falling on deaf ears everyone around me [TS]

01:07:37   is def to the fact that you can even [TS]

01:07:40   communicate something like this with a [TS]

01:07:42   belt i'm gonna guess that the first one [TS]

01:07:44   of the well I who knows like what order [TS]

01:07:46   these things going but I bet one of the [TS]

01:07:47   first things is when you slip one of [TS]

01:07:48   these on you suddenly start seeing more [TS]

01:07:50   of this kind of belt [TS]

01:07:52   ok it's so mean you need about to see [TS]

01:07:55   the belt it's like when you're playing [TS]

01:07:56   slugbug who and all of a sudden their [TS]

01:08:00   books with your bugs everywhere [TS]

01:08:01   yeah exactly right it's a good [TS]

01:08:03   availability heuristic with belts so I [TS]

01:08:06   need the belt to see the belt right now [TS]

01:08:09   i'm going to start seeing the belt then [TS]

01:08:11   why do it now you're in a year in a [TS]

01:08:12   multiverse now my friend like where did [TS]

01:08:14   that come from how do that what was that [TS]

01:08:16   what was the prime moving belt like how [TS]

01:08:18   how you know what I mean like how is it [TS]

01:08:20   you got that belt [TS]

01:08:22   how do i get the belt enough but now I [TS]

01:08:24   found a second belt so my my third [TS]

01:08:26   question is now that i'm aware of this [TS]

01:08:28   and i start at in my thrift store [TS]

01:08:31   experiences of course now i'm going to [TS]

01:08:33   go right to the belts every time I walk [TS]

01:08:34   in I think it's your obligation at this [TS]

01:08:36   point well what happens if I what [TS]

01:08:38   happens if i find a third one does it a [TS]

01:08:39   mean that alligator belt are are thick [TS]

01:08:43   on the ground and that there are so many [TS]

01:08:46   of these but that but that doesn't [TS]

01:08:48   I'm not me and it might be a Brigadoon [TS]

01:08:50   type situation where like maybe once a [TS]

01:08:52   year one of these belts makes itself a [TS]

01:08:54   parent I'm gonna say i don't know [TS]

01:08:56   because I don't have one of these but [TS]

01:08:57   maybe your job now is to help the right [TS]

01:09:00   people find one of these belts too i [TS]

01:09:02   don't know how you find out who that is [TS]

01:09:03   to be like a belt guide [TS]

01:09:05   mmm yeah i got bella bella has felt the [TS]

01:09:08   spirit guide [TS]

01:09:09   I mean they're very very pleasing these [TS]

01:09:11   belt they're very soft I mean I feel bad [TS]

01:09:13   that an alligator had to die but you [TS]

01:09:15   know if something's gonna have to die [TS]

01:09:16   like an alligator might be a small [TS]

01:09:22   alligator is pretty close to like the [TS]

01:09:24   top-ranked of things that I don't care [TS]

01:09:26   whether it does or not I got no feelings [TS]

01:09:28   about him was probably bigger than [TS]

01:09:30   alligators that John I mean I don't [TS]

01:09:31   think this happens by accident this [TS]

01:09:33   well I don't say it on there but [TS]

01:09:35   although this might be well this might [TS]

01:09:37   be the photos you think when I don't [TS]

01:09:40   know I don't know but like how would you [TS]

01:09:42   know when they were reaching out to you [TS]

01:09:44   maybe maybe they give you an offering [TS]

01:09:46   ok now this and now you got two [TS]

01:09:48   offerings and now you're asking [TS]

01:09:49   questions and now you're open to the [TS]

01:09:51   idea that great thing might be somebody [TS]

01:09:53   need to talk to so last night I'm [TS]

01:09:55   driving home i'm wearing my second [TS]

01:09:57   alligator belt and i'm driving past the [TS]

01:10:00   airport and you know because of a trick [TS]

01:10:03   of the of the perspective like a big [TS]

01:10:06   sort of military jet has taken off from [TS]

01:10:09   boeing field but it appears to kind of [TS]

01:10:12   be hovering there because it's so big [TS]

01:10:15   that it that it's not disappearing very [TS]

01:10:18   fast and it's just it's nighttime so I [TS]

01:10:21   can only kind of see it's light and it's [TS]

01:10:23   hovering over the road as I'm driving [TS]

01:10:25   and I was reminded that of course that's [TS]

01:10:30   if if the UFOs were here on a regular [TS]

01:10:33   basis that's how they would disguise [TS]

01:10:34   themselves right they would disguise [TS]

01:10:37   themselves as military jets and this [TS]

01:10:41   thing is just hovering there over the [TS]

01:10:42   road and i'm driving a long I've got my [TS]

01:10:44   alligator belt on and watching this [TS]

01:10:45   airplane and I'm thinking is this it [TS]

01:10:48   over [TS]

01:10:49   are they is this the moment when all of [TS]

01:10:53   a sudden like they might have tried lots [TS]

01:10:55   of times and the conditions just weren't [TS]

01:10:57   right or maybe you were right [TS]

01:10:59   like maybe you weren't where you need to [TS]

01:11:00   be to be looking for [TS]

01:11:02   right kind of thing because it's like I [TS]

01:11:03   just be an obvious think you're gonna [TS]

01:11:04   like show up with a with cake I need the [TS]

01:11:08   belt to see the belt the belt to see the [TS]

01:11:11   belt [TS]

01:11:12   oh Allah oh shanthi our shanti shanti [TS]

01:11:17   home am gonna cut all that out haha you [TS]

01:11:26   need adult to the belt [TS]