Roderick on the Line

00:00:00 ◼   ► this episode of rock on the line is [TS]

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00:00:24 ◼   ► [Music] [TS]

00:00:29 ◼   ► hello hi John I'm Merlin how's it going [TS]

00:00:33 ◼   ► good how are you going I'm going very [TS]

00:00:36 ◼   ► well I do you remember the first time I [TS]

00:00:40 ◼   ► ever wondered what was the first time I [TS]

00:00:44 ◼   ► answered a skype call from you I pushed [TS]

00:00:46 ◼   ► video call [TS]

00:00:48 ◼   ► oh and the and the picture of me showed [TS]

00:00:50 ◼   ► up are on your screen and you started [TS]

00:00:54 ◼   ► screaming now [TS]

00:00:55 ◼   ► no turn that off [TS]

00:00:59 ◼   ► yeah i think i think i do I have like a [TS]

00:01:02 ◼   ► little PTSD about it you know and I was [TS]

00:01:04 ◼   ► like whoa I'm sorry scrambling around to [TS]

00:01:07 ◼   ► try and turn off the video i am I i am [TS]

00:01:10 ◼   ► persuaded of a single fact which is that [TS]

00:01:14 ◼   ► lots of different people have lots of [TS]

00:01:17 ◼   ► different ideas about what skype is for [TS]

00:01:20 ◼   ► and how you use it and when two people [TS]

00:01:22 ◼   ► who use it differently encounter each [TS]

00:01:24 ◼   ► other it's it can be a little bit rocky [TS]

00:01:25 ◼   ► i have noticed that people there are [TS]

00:01:27 ◼   ► some people not many who want to [TS]

00:01:29 ◼   ► socially networked with me through skype [TS]

00:01:31 ◼   ► yeah we talked about that inbred [TS]

00:01:33 ◼   ► churches birthday popping up but you [TS]

00:01:35 ◼   ► know that the big one for me and [TS]

00:01:36 ◼   ► sometimes they would have called on [TS]

00:01:37 ◼   ► skype and I'm like not really but ok and [TS]

00:01:40 ◼   ► ok let's go to the College great booby [TS]

00:01:42 ◼   ► both news is change our skype Andals and [TS]

00:01:45 ◼   ► then good boob you get the boob and it [TS]

00:01:48 ◼   ► comes up and it's some guy with like a [TS]

00:01:50 ◼   ► meticulous haircut who shaved like [TS]

00:01:52 ◼   ► wearing a polo shirt in office only what [TS]

00:01:54 ◼   ► are you doing don't show me that are put [TS]

00:01:56 ◼   ► away a people leave their video on they [TS]

00:01:59 ◼   ► liked the video talk again in the future [TS]

00:02:01 ◼   ► yes they do they like it well because [TS]

00:02:03 ◼   ► John you there people who won't be on [TS]

00:02:05 ◼   ► video with you [TS]

00:02:06 ◼   ► mm no no no my much more often but the [TS]

00:02:10 ◼   ► the the the thing that I get is why [TS]

00:02:13 ◼   ► don't you just go to your home studio [TS]

00:02:14 ◼   ► and record like I don't it doesn't even [TS]

00:02:16 ◼   ► matter just record like five minutes sir [TS]

00:02:18 ◼   ► just record like you know couple of [TS]

00:02:20 ◼   ► 30-second spots or whatever and I'm like [TS]

00:02:23 ◼   ► for like morning morning zoo or for what [TS]

00:02:24 ◼   ► I yeah and I'm just like oh go to my [TS]

00:02:26 ◼   ► home studio record you some 30-second [TS]

00:02:28 ◼   ► spots is that that's all I told you [TS]

00:02:30 ◼   ► everything is bi and the way the way [TS]

00:02:32 ◼   ► people like toss that off [TS]

00:02:33 ◼   ► it's obviously something that people do [TS]

00:02:36 ◼   ► all just like you're the dummy yeah I'm [TS]

00:02:38 ◼   ► the dummy right I'm sure I'm sure that [TS]

00:02:40 ◼   ► Ted Leo tosses off some 30-second spots [TS]

00:02:44 ◼   ► 50 a day he tosses off some spots Betty [TS]

00:02:46 ◼   ► toss the spots off all the time and I am [TS]

00:02:48 ◼   ► and I know for a fact people around here [TS]

00:02:51 ◼   ► top spots off and I'm sitting there like [TS]

00:02:54 ◼   ► you know what it would take for me to [TS]

00:02:55 ◼   ► toss you a spot it would i would have to [TS]

00:02:58 ◼   ► it would be it would be 11 weeks [TS]

00:03:01 ◼   ► I mean I'm so simpatico on this i'm a [TS]

00:03:04 ◼   ► sec okay first of all evolution they [TS]

00:03:08 ◼   ► used to be I had a camera on my monitor [TS]

00:03:11 ◼   ► pointed at my face with the thing open [TS]

00:03:14 ◼   ► so that it could accidentally like fire [TS]

00:03:17 ◼   ► off video and then I went to keeping the [TS]

00:03:19 ◼   ► little uh little swing closed and put [TS]

00:03:22 ◼   ► some tape over it [TS]

00:03:23 ◼   ► well and then I went to turn it sideways [TS]

00:03:25 ◼   ► so it points at the coffee pot and now [TS]

00:03:27 ◼   ► you look at right up here you see see I [TS]

00:03:29 ◼   ► disconnected the camera i do not want to [TS]

00:03:31 ◼   ► be seen right yeah yeah well you know [TS]

00:03:34 ◼   ► here's the other thing that you ever [TS]

00:03:35 ◼   ► gets it used to be for me back when I [TS]

00:03:37 ◼   ► used to type more the people like a [TS]

00:03:39 ◼   ► let's do an interview was do an email [TS]

00:03:41 ◼   ► interview and in some ways i prefer [TS]

00:03:43 ◼   ► greatly preferred the email interview [TS]

00:03:45 ◼   ► because I got to punctuate everything [TS]

00:03:46 ◼   ► correctly they are wonderful email [TS]

00:03:48 ◼   ► interviews are the only kind of [TS]

00:03:49 ◼   ► interviews and i guess but i got to [TS]

00:03:52 ◼   ► where it is something sometimes so [TS]

00:03:55 ◼   ► here's this thing here is part of the [TS]

00:03:56 ◼   ► disproportionate nature of electronic [TS]

00:03:59 ◼   ► media particularly email somebody could [TS]

00:04:01 ◼   ► send you a two-line email the requires [TS]

00:04:03 ◼   ► six months of work huh [TS]

00:04:05 ◼   ► and it doesn't there's nothing there's [TS]

00:04:06 ◼   ► nothing to keep you from basically [TS]

00:04:08 ◼   ► setting everything aside to take care of [TS]

00:04:09 ◼   ► whatever that person asked for so it [TS]

00:04:11 ◼   ► makes it very easy on the interviewer [TS]

00:04:13 ◼   ► right because they just go hey we'll [TS]

00:04:15 ◼   ► send you seven questions and thank you [TS]

00:04:17 ◼   ► and me will spend three days answering [TS]

00:04:18 ◼   ► absolutely yeah but now I'm more like [TS]

00:04:21 ◼   ► you know what let's just get your [TS]

00:04:23 ◼   ► questions plug-in will get on skype and [TS]

00:04:26 ◼   ► then you can go make a thing out of it [TS]

00:04:27 ◼   ► it's just it can be very time consuming [TS]

00:04:29 ◼   ► at but as you know back in the certainly [TS]

00:04:31 ◼   ► back in the days when i was doing a lot [TS]

00:04:34 ◼   ► of interviews in the Alternative Press [TS]

00:04:37 ◼   ► some guy gets you on the phone and [TS]

00:04:41 ◼   ► immediately starts asking those like so [TS]

00:04:44 ◼   ► why should somebody listened to your [TS]

00:04:47 ◼   ► band or you know or worse like so what [TS]

00:04:51 ◼   ► kind of music do you play [TS]

00:04:52 ◼   ► not like are you seriously you're [TS]

00:04:54 ◼   ► calling me on the phone and you're [TS]

00:04:55 ◼   ► asking me these dumbass questions and [TS]

00:04:57 ◼   ► then so you need to do your best to [TS]

00:04:59 ◼   ► answer them in a good and a good cherry [TS]

00:05:02 ◼   ► voice you you walk the person through [TS]

00:05:04 ◼   ► what their questions should have been [TS]

00:05:06 ◼   ► without being too pedantic you know you [TS]

00:05:08 ◼   ► get you get you can tell they didn't do [TS]

00:05:10 ◼   ► either didn't do any homework or there's [TS]

00:05:12 ◼   ► such a hack that they're going to the [TS]

00:05:14 ◼   ► first 30 this article is going to be [TS]

00:05:15 ◼   ► like the first third of every article [TS]

00:05:16 ◼   ► ever written about yeah well it's gonna [TS]

00:05:18 ◼   ► be the first of the article is going to [TS]

00:05:19 ◼   ► be about them right but then the article [TS]

00:05:22 ◼   ► comes out and they don't know the [TS]

00:05:26 ◼   ► difference between your and you were who [TS]

00:05:28 ◼   ► and they are making that mistake in [TS]

00:05:31 ◼   ► transcribing my comments so the reader [TS]

00:05:35 ◼   ► cannot help but feel that I have spoken [TS]

00:05:37 ◼   ► the wrong you're right i mean that like [TS]

00:05:40 ◼   ► the day that the reader can't help but [TS]

00:05:43 ◼   ► think that I am an idiot and you know if [TS]

00:05:46 ◼   ► the person like doesn't know how comas [TS]

00:05:48 ◼   ► work let alone a semicolon [TS]

00:05:51 ◼   ► yeah they can change the complete [TS]

00:05:54 ◼   ► meaning of what Eve Eve the what you've [TS]

00:05:56 ◼   ► said and and after after a while I was [TS]

00:05:59 ◼   ► just like you know what if it can't be [TS]

00:06:01 ◼   ► an email interview I you know even an [TS]

00:06:07 ◼   ► in-person interview there was a there [TS]

00:06:08 ◼   ► was a terrible event where I i I'd come [TS]

00:06:11 ◼   ► off of a tour that was that was a very [TS]

00:06:13 ◼   ► fun tour where we were all kind of [TS]

00:06:18 ◼   ► giving each other the sauce [TS]

00:06:20 ◼   ► oh and this is when you said some [TS]

00:06:22 ◼   ► certain things about a certain band [TS]

00:06:23 ◼   ► yeah I don't want this well certain [TS]

00:06:25 ◼   ► things about like everybody on the tour [TS]

00:06:27 ◼   ► in the spirit of the kind of you know [TS]

00:06:30 ◼   ► monkey business that we were throwing at [TS]

00:06:32 ◼   ► each other on the tour right i mean when [TS]

00:06:34 ◼   ► we were on the two we're just remember [TS]

00:06:36 ◼   ► this is that and the interviewer was [TS]

00:06:39 ◼   ► riding a big article about my upcoming [TS]

00:06:43 ◼   ► record for a major magazine and he was a [TS]

00:06:46 ◼   ► prominent [TS]

00:06:48 ◼   ► journalists and we met at a french cafe [TS]

00:06:50 ◼   ► and he was very charming and he [TS]

00:06:53 ◼   ► expressed that he was a great admirer of [TS]

00:06:56 ◼   ► my band and he wrote a five page feature [TS]

00:06:59 ◼   ► with six color photographs in a glossy [TS]

00:07:02 ◼   ► magazine but he had an axe to grind or [TS]

00:07:09 ◼   ► was in that likes journalistic scoop [TS]

00:07:13 ◼   ► mode or something and there was a whole [TS]

00:07:16 ◼   ► paragraph where you know the spirit of [TS]

00:07:18 ◼   ► the way I was saying what i was saying [TS]

00:07:20 ◼   ► was like I love these guys these jerks [TS]

00:07:23 ◼   ► these these dumb you implied that they [TS]

00:07:25 ◼   ► drank a lot i think yeah these dealings [TS]

00:07:27 ◼   ► are my god we Gino job party party party [TS]

00:07:30 ◼   ► in New Year's another thing they're all [TS]

00:07:32 ◼   ► they're all dead dummy heads and he just [TS]

00:07:35 ◼   ► put it in his article and sort of book [TS]

00:07:38 ◼   ► ended in a way that when the article [TS]

00:07:42 ◼   ► came out you know I got four really [TS]

00:07:44 ◼   ► angry phone calls from people God and [TS]

00:07:46 ◼   ► you know I'm not just angry but like [TS]

00:07:49 ◼   ► upset like why would you betray us like [TS]

00:07:51 ◼   ► this and it turned out like you're like [TS]

00:07:53 ◼   ► you're complicit right like i had been [TS]

00:07:55 ◼   ► lady she you want to you want to know [TS]

00:07:57 ◼   ► about these guys I'll tell you about [TS]

00:07:58 ◼   ► these guys and what it turned out was [TS]

00:08:01 ◼   ► that this particular writer like hated [TS]

00:08:04 ◼   ► one of the bands one of the guys for a [TS]

00:08:07 ◼   ► long time had written a bunch of smear [TS]

00:08:09 ◼   ► pieces about him or you know and [TS]

00:08:11 ◼   ► everybody everybody knew who this guy [TS]

00:08:13 ◼   ► was and didn't like him and it's just [TS]

00:08:15 ◼   ► like why would you why would you tell [TS]

00:08:17 ◼   ► that guy all that stuff I was like oh [TS]

00:08:19 ◼   ► shit yeah and so from that point on I [TS]

00:08:23 ◼   ► was like send me your questions i will [TS]

00:08:24 ◼   ► go over them and answer them and when [TS]

00:08:27 ◼   ► you get it back it will read like a it [TS]

00:08:29 ◼   ► will read like you are a good [TS]

00:08:30 ◼   ► interviewer don't worry it's not you [TS]

00:08:33 ◼   ► know ethics in indie rock journalism are [TS]

00:08:35 ◼   ► also not really a real thing right [TS]

00:08:38 ◼   ► you're not actually trying to get there [TS]

00:08:40 ◼   ► is no it's not like you are a it's not [TS]

00:08:45 ◼   ► like you are interviewing a presidential [TS]

00:08:46 ◼   ► candidate you're just talking about [TS]

00:08:48 ◼   ► bands and it's not important that you [TS]

00:08:51 ◼   ► that you transcribe the quote exactly [TS]

00:08:55 ◼   ► right you know right just get it's just [TS]

00:08:57 ◼   ► a good article fuck you [TS]

00:08:59 ◼   ► yeah because he was the other part of [TS]

00:09:00 ◼   ► that is that you're right you're not [TS]

00:09:02 ◼   ► you're not interviewing a Mike Huckabee [TS]

00:09:05 ◼   ► or something like that [TS]

00:09:06 ◼   ► yeah they are you are a musician who is [TS]

00:09:10 ◼   ► let's be honest you're talking to them [TS]

00:09:12 ◼   ► because you're promoting your album or [TS]

00:09:14 ◼   ► your platform or whatever and there was [TS]

00:09:16 ◼   ► somebody who wants to get hits on the [TS]

00:09:18 ◼   ► internet right so I mean you both have a [TS]

00:09:20 ◼   ► reason for doing this [TS]

00:09:21 ◼   ► that isn't just the public interest well [TS]

00:09:23 ◼   ► I that this is one of the weird things [TS]

00:09:24 ◼   ► that I've always kind of i I've started [TS]

00:09:28 ◼   ► on Twitter following a lot of real [TS]

00:09:30 ◼   ► journalists people who are embedded in [TS]

00:09:35 ◼   ► the Ukraine people who are in Africa in [TS]

00:09:40 ◼   ► Ukraine I'm sorry [TS]

00:09:43 ◼   ► ukraine people who are better than [TS]

00:09:45 ◼   ► Ukraine you're gonna get email no emails [TS]

00:09:47 ◼   ► please [TS]

00:09:48 ◼   ► it's a it's a it's a bad habit i know it [TS]

00:09:50 ◼   ► is an external calling it the Ukraine is [TS]

00:09:52 ◼   ► akin to up to the worst crimes against [TS]

00:09:56 ◼   ► humanity that person is will it save you [TS]

00:09:59 ◼   ► thank you i do not mean to create those [TS]

00:10:02 ◼   ► crimes against humanity lives here [TS]

00:10:04 ◼   ► recovering on real issues in the real [TS]

00:10:06 ◼   ► world [TS]

00:10:06 ◼   ► that's right real people out there and [TS]

00:10:08 ◼   ► you know their job is very difficult and [TS]

00:10:12 ◼   ► they are trying they're trying hard to [TS]

00:10:15 ◼   ► not misrepresent what's happening and a [TS]

00:10:19 ◼   ► lot of times the things they're seeing [TS]

00:10:21 ◼   ► with their own eyes are are fairly [TS]

00:10:24 ◼   ► incredible and if you're if you're a [TS]

00:10:26 ◼   ► journalist who's out in the middle of a [TS]

00:10:28 ◼   ► battlefield and you're the only person [TS]

00:10:29 ◼   ► there and you are the witness of history [TS]

00:10:34 ◼   ► I I feel the tremendous pressure they [TS]

00:10:37 ◼   ► must they must feel to get it accurately [TS]

00:10:42 ◼   ► recorded accurately if you are one of 60 [TS]

00:10:46 ◼   ► journalists in a news conference like [TS]

00:10:49 ◼   ► it's pretty at with that where there are [TS]

00:10:50 ◼   ► seven television cameras like it's [TS]

00:10:52 ◼   ► pretty well covered we can go back and [TS]

00:10:54 ◼   ► find out what happened right [TS]

00:10:57 ◼   ► this whole thing with Bill O'Reilly [TS]

00:10:59 ◼   ► where he is talking about [TS]

00:11:02 ◼   ► the falklands war as though he were in [TS]

00:11:04 ◼   ► the trenches and then it's it takes us a [TS]

00:11:09 ◼   ► it takes us 40 years for somebody to say [TS]

00:11:12 ◼   ► hey wait a minute there weren't any [TS]

00:11:13 ◼   ► trenches in the Falklands War and also [TS]

00:11:15 ◼   ► no one could get there [TS]

00:11:17 ◼   ► no one was there and he's you know for [TS]

00:11:19 ◼   ► years been shouting people down about [TS]

00:11:21 ◼   ► how he was like i do a bayonet charge [TS]

00:11:25 ◼   ► you know that's an example of like a [TS]

00:11:30 ◼   ► journalist miss representing something [TS]

00:11:32 ◼   ► for his own uniforms own glory but like [TS]

00:11:37 ◼   ► so much of so much of that that [TS]

00:11:41 ◼   ► journalism 5i me when I think about [TS]

00:11:43 ◼   ► music journalism and I've always felt [TS]

00:11:45 ◼   ► this way [TS]

00:11:46 ◼   ► what the hell is music journalism I I [TS]

00:11:50 ◼   ► understand the impulse to do it right I [TS]

00:11:52 ◼   ► understand the impulse to write it and i [TS]

00:11:54 ◼   ► really understand the impulse to read it [TS]

00:11:56 ◼   ► because i used to read it [TS]

00:11:58 ◼   ► just like with a mad hunger i would read [TS]

00:12:03 ◼   ► people writing about music but I but it [TS]

00:12:07 ◼   ► isn't really journalism is it you know [TS]

00:12:10 ◼   ► it's not good night in most cases i have [TS]

00:12:12 ◼   ► to say [TS]

00:12:13 ◼   ► not really yeah it's it it's reporting [TS]

00:12:17 ◼   ► of a kind but it's the features mostly [TS]

00:12:20 ◼   ► yeah and and it's and and and people who [TS]

00:12:23 ◼   ► mistake the job of writing about music [TS]

00:12:26 ◼   ► that that it needs to be hard-hitting or [TS]

00:12:29 ◼   ► you need to expose something some I mean [TS]

00:12:32 ◼   ► I suppose you can use music and [TS]

00:12:35 ◼   ► contemporary music all the time as a [TS]

00:12:37 ◼   ► lens through which you are trying to [TS]

00:12:40 ◼   ► expose a bigger vein of the culture but [TS]

00:12:45 ◼   ► that's not usually how it plays out [TS]

00:12:46 ◼   ► right most of the time it's like it's [TS]

00:12:50 ◼   ► about the band or about the family of [TS]

00:12:53 ◼   ► bands and and and largely about the [TS]

00:12:55 ◼   ► writers feelings about bands and so like [TS]

00:13:00 ◼   ► what it what what role does veracity [TS]

00:13:03 ◼   ► have you know right you know like yeah [TS]

00:13:06 ◼   ► there's yeah I think about I mean we [TS]

00:13:09 ◼   ► one thing i don't know if this is that [TS]

00:13:11 ◼   ► different but this feels different [TS]

00:13:12 ◼   ► I I think about like when i was still [TS]

00:13:14 ◼   ► watching TV news [TS]

00:13:15 ◼   ► maybe let's say in the eighties or even [TS]

00:13:17 ◼   ► in the early nineties i would watch like [TS]

00:13:18 ◼   ► the Sunday morning shows and stuff like [TS]

00:13:20 ◼   ► that [TS]

00:13:20 ◼   ► think about a character like sam [TS]

00:13:22 ◼   ► donaldson where he was he was like the [TS]

00:13:25 ◼   ► Howard Cosell of ABC news because he was [TS]

00:13:29 ◼   ► obviously a personality who wanted to [TS]

00:13:32 ◼   ► become at me to become part of the story [TS]

00:13:35 ◼   ► because it was sam donaldson who was [TS]

00:13:37 ◼   ► saying it [TS]

00:13:38 ◼   ► yeah bombs are dropping behind him and [TS]

00:13:39 ◼   ► his eyebrows are waggling and he is your [TS]

00:13:42 ◼   ► guy your man and he had he had what [TS]

00:13:44 ◼   ► appeared to be a personality and a point [TS]

00:13:47 ◼   ► of view in an industry where usually you [TS]

00:13:49 ◼   ► would try to recede into the background [TS]

00:13:51 ◼   ► and so I mean it's one thing to be and [TS]

00:13:54 ◼   ► mostly uncredited pool reporter for AP [TS]

00:13:59 ◼   ► Reuters where you are just you're going [TS]

00:14:01 ◼   ► to be evaluated mostly like how quickly [TS]

00:14:03 ◼   ► you got an accurate retelling of the [TS]

00:14:06 ◼   ► facts right into print and then that [TS]

00:14:08 ◼   ► gets distributed across the world but it [TS]

00:14:10 ◼   ► seems like more and more today and I I [TS]

00:14:12 ◼   ► this is a big jump to go from you know [TS]

00:14:15 ◼   ► talking about interviewing ronald reagan [TS]

00:14:16 ◼   ► to talking about the wrens or whatever [TS]

00:14:18 ◼   ► but now today in what you might call [TS]

00:14:20 ◼   ► music journalism on the one hand you've [TS]

00:14:22 ◼   ► got the sort of like what AV Club [TS]

00:14:24 ◼   ► pitchfork I don't even know anymore I [TS]

00:14:26 ◼   ► don't follow stuff anymore but you've [TS]

00:14:27 ◼   ► got you seem like you're mostly [TS]

00:14:28 ◼   ► addressing fans of the genre and banned [TS]

00:14:32 ◼   ► me with your coverage and in some cases [TS]

00:14:35 ◼   ► you are trying to say introduce like an [TS]

00:14:37 ◼   ► up-and-comer right but I mean what is [TS]

00:14:40 ◼   ► there really to say about like what the [TS]

00:14:43 ◼   ► rolling stones are up to that isn't a [TS]

00:14:44 ◼   ► story about something bigger than music [TS]

00:14:46 ◼   ► where you'd have to turn into a [TS]

00:14:48 ◼   ► personality story or just as often a [TS]

00:14:50 ◼   ► money story or something or in all cases [TS]

00:14:53 ◼   ► you know the difference between the same [TS]

00:14:56 ◼   ► Donaldson's of the event and today is [TS]

00:14:58 ◼   ► that you know you don't just want to [TS]

00:15:00 ◼   ► tell the facts you want to find [TS]

00:15:02 ◼   ► something that nobody else noticed even [TS]

00:15:04 ◼   ► if it's not really fair right so that's [TS]

00:15:07 ◼   ► get into the turns out stuff where you [TS]

00:15:08 ◼   ► want to be the one person who went to [TS]

00:15:10 ◼   ► that press conference came up with [TS]

00:15:11 ◼   ► something and maybe it's like you know a [TS]

00:15:13 ◼   ► funny [TS]

00:15:13 ◼   ► Titanic somebody's wearing or something [TS]

00:15:15 ◼   ► but you've got to find something nobody [TS]

00:15:16 ◼   ► else is doing otherwise you know you [TS]

00:15:18 ◼   ► don't really make a name for yourself [TS]

00:15:19 ◼   ► today [TS]

00:15:20 ◼   ► yeah right and and those pieces [TS]

00:15:23 ◼   ► uh at the the reviews of vampire weekend [TS]

00:15:27 ◼   ► that are really a review of ivy-league [TS]

00:15:31 ◼   ► privilege or whatever like I i love that [TS]

00:15:34 ◼   ► stuff still because it's because yeah [TS]

00:15:36 ◼   ► its feature writing it's good feature [TS]

00:15:37 ◼   ► writing but i don't know i just like you [TS]

00:15:41 ◼   ► I i used to read 600 reviews a week of [TS]

00:15:48 ◼   ► new records of live shows of three [TS]

00:15:52 ◼   ► issues i mean i would sit and just read [TS]

00:15:55 ◼   ► reviews reviews reviews reads of stuff I [TS]

00:15:58 ◼   ► never intended to listen to of stuff [TS]

00:16:00 ◼   ► that I knew backwards and forwards like [TS]

00:16:03 ◼   ► writing reviews and reading reviews felt [TS]

00:16:06 ◼   ► like a completely separate art form and [TS]

00:16:08 ◼   ► I do not do it anymore it's so strange [TS]

00:16:12 ◼   ► it's like it's I guess it's like [TS]

00:16:15 ◼   ► somebody that used to buy seven inches [TS]

00:16:17 ◼   ► and then stopped by 7 inches [TS]

00:16:20 ◼   ► except I I can't even really look over [TS]

00:16:22 ◼   ► at the milk crates full of record [TS]

00:16:24 ◼   ► reviews that I read and even go paw [TS]

00:16:28 ◼   ► through them i mean i suppose i could go [TS]

00:16:29 ◼   ► find an old copy of snipe hunt from 1993 [TS]

00:16:33 ◼   ► and i would love it I probably still [TS]

00:16:34 ◼   ► love it but yeah and and also its I mean [TS]

00:16:39 ◼   ► the role of the review has always been [TS]

00:16:42 ◼   ► kind of as much about the reviewer as [TS]

00:16:46 ◼   ► the review my way I mean if you think [TS]

00:16:48 ◼   ► about you know going back to i mean [TS]

00:16:50 ◼   ► certainly in film what they call film [TS]

00:16:52 ◼   ► criticism or movie reviewing their you [TS]

00:16:55 ◼   ► know it was it wasn't until the eighties [TS]

00:16:57 ◼   ► and the introduction of cisco [TS]

00:17:00 ◼   ► neighborhoods thumbs up thumbs down [TS]

00:17:01 ◼   ► before then yeah you have stars and [TS]

00:17:03 ◼   ► stuff but by and large it was about like [TS]

00:17:05 ◼   ► what this what this movie mint and the [TS]

00:17:07 ◼   ► night stars when do when was the star [TS]

00:17:10 ◼   ► system of movie reviewing introduced I [TS]

00:17:12 ◼   ► feel like um I think it's been around [TS]

00:17:16 ◼   ► that's a really good question i don't [TS]

00:17:18 ◼   ► know the answer but i'm thinking of [TS]

00:17:19 ◼   ► stuff think about like a people magazine [TS]

00:17:20 ◼   ► used to have jeers and cheering more but [TS]

00:17:24 ◼   ► like even in TV Guide remember when [TS]

00:17:25 ◼   ► you're a little kid you're reading TV [TS]

00:17:26 ◼   ► Guide they would have stars move for the [TS]

00:17:28 ◼   ► movies and again I think that's like a [TS]

00:17:30 ◼   ► syndicated service fine but I mean to be [TS]

00:17:33 ◼   ► as someone who considers themselves [TS]

00:17:35 ◼   ► think about the difference between being [TS]

00:17:36 ◼   ► a movie reviewer i was on a pocket [TS]

00:17:38 ◼   ► recently talking about this really funny [TS]

00:17:39 ◼   ► website [TS]

00:17:40 ◼   ► the kids in mind which is a site that is [TS]

00:17:43 ◼   ► very specifically for parents to get [TS]

00:17:46 ◼   ► reviews of like what happened in a movie [TS]

00:17:48 ◼   ► it's so funny [TS]

00:17:50 ◼   ► it ends up reading almost like porn oh [TS]

00:17:52 ◼   ► we have a start they have a star system [TS]

00:17:53 ◼   ► which is how much profanity sex and [TS]

00:17:55 ◼   ► violence from 0 to 10 and but then [TS]

00:17:58 ◼   ► there's this entire exhaustive page of [TS]

00:18:01 ◼   ► all the actual specific things that led [TS]

00:18:03 ◼   ► them to give those ratings and like I [TS]

00:18:05 ◼   ► say it does get a little like porn it's [TS]

00:18:07 ◼   ► it's so specific like you know spongebob [TS]

00:18:09 ◼   ► pulls down the bathing suit on a [TS]

00:18:12 ◼   ► starfish you know and you see his butt [TS]

00:18:14 ◼   ► crack [TS]

00:18:14 ◼   ► come on with ya but I mean that i wanna [TS]

00:18:17 ◼   ► i want a supercut of all those hmm i [TS]

00:18:20 ◼   ► mean is that journalism [TS]

00:18:22 ◼   ► well it's practical it's the thing is [TS]

00:18:24 ◼   ► you know it's very practical so I find [TS]

00:18:27 ◼   ► myself frequently despite myself going [TS]

00:18:30 ◼   ► to Rotten Tomatoes is my favorite movie [TS]

00:18:32 ◼   ► reviews just to get a feel right it [TS]

00:18:35 ◼   ► doesn't mean I'm not gonna like it cause [TS]

00:18:36 ◼   ► it got fifty percent but if it did get [TS]

00:18:39 ◼   ► ninety percent i am kind of more than [TS]

00:18:40 ◼   ► the aggregate right there aggregating [TS]

00:18:42 ◼   ► all these different reviews don't [TS]

00:18:43 ◼   ► actually this is so such a Philistine [TS]

00:18:46 ◼   ► but I'm not [TS]

00:18:47 ◼   ► that's super interested in what any one [TS]

00:18:50 ◼   ► critic in the United States had to say [TS]

00:18:52 ◼   ► about the movie but that aggregate [TS]

00:18:53 ◼   ► picture is very interesting to me but [TS]

00:18:55 ◼   ► that ain't journalism [TS]

00:18:56 ◼   ► I mean what the part that I'm therefore [TS]

00:18:58 ◼   ► is very practical [TS]

00:18:59 ◼   ► well and that's that was always that was [TS]

00:19:01 ◼   ► always one of the interesting things [TS]

00:19:03 ◼   ► about the promise of the internet right [TS]

00:19:06 ◼   ► that we were that through aggregating a [TS]

00:19:09 ◼   ► million voices we were going to get [TS]

00:19:12 ◼   ► closer to the truth because we wouldn't [TS]

00:19:15 ◼   ► be we wouldn't have gatekeepers right [TS]

00:19:18 ◼   ► anyway right it would just be like it [TS]

00:19:21 ◼   ► wasn't yet because I'm used to be one [TS]

00:19:22 ◼   ► and let's talk about what you're really [TS]

00:19:23 ◼   ► saying which is it used to be that if [TS]

00:19:25 ◼   ► you picked up the new york times you can [TS]

00:19:27 ◼   ► count on that being nominally the best [TS]

00:19:29 ◼   ► and brightest and reporting but it was a [TS]

00:19:31 ◼   ► very specific point of view that was [TS]

00:19:33 ◼   ► virtually hegemonic right right and and [TS]

00:19:37 ◼   ► and the internet was like going to [TS]

00:19:39 ◼   ► democratize everything [TS]

00:19:41 ◼   ► and there would be this you would have [TS]

00:19:44 ◼   ► the you would have the well essentially [TS]

00:19:46 ◼   ► the voice of the Borg everything would [TS]

00:19:50 ◼   ► be seeing double everything would be [TS]

00:19:52 ◼   ► knowable and you would just you listen [TS]

00:19:55 ◼   ► it you would eliminate the five-star [TS]

00:19:57 ◼   ► review and the one star review and then [TS]

00:19:59 ◼   ► concentrate on you know that aggravating [TS]

00:20:04 ◼   ► 5003 star reviews into some kind of [TS]

00:20:07 ◼   ► sensible idea about it but you know I [TS]

00:20:09 ◼   ► was out in was out in a town last night [TS]

00:20:12 ◼   ► called silverdale in Washington which is [TS]

00:20:14 ◼   ► a place that used to just be used to be [TS]

00:20:19 ◼   ► like Navy support personnel and then [TS]

00:20:22 ◼   ► people who ran out of gas and just [TS]

00:20:25 ◼   ► started living in their car and now [TS]

00:20:28 ◼   ► silverdale in the last 25 years has [TS]

00:20:30 ◼   ► turned into just a giant suburban it's [TS]

00:20:35 ◼   ► in a way kind of a suburban metropolis [TS]

00:20:38 ◼   ► it's just suburbs as far as the eye can [TS]

00:20:41 ◼   ► see and I'm over there and it's like oh [TS]

00:20:43 ◼   ► we're hungry [TS]

00:20:44 ◼   ► what do we do we go on the internet the [TS]

00:20:47 ◼   ► first thing that comes up is help i have [TS]

00:20:50 ◼   ► never I've never written a yelp review [TS]

00:20:52 ◼   ► yeah and in a way i feel like i have [TS]

00:20:55 ◼   ► read enough of them that i almost I [TS]

00:20:58 ◼   ► almost always to the community of of [TS]

00:21:02 ◼   ► humans to add yelp reviews just because [TS]

00:21:05 ◼   ► I take and take and take and I never [TS]

00:21:07 ◼   ► give back but I hate yelp and I hate the [TS]

00:21:11 ◼   ► police so much i get i use it [TS]

00:21:14 ◼   ► yeah i don't know why i use it because [TS]

00:21:16 ◼   ► if I see the star I see it's two and a [TS]

00:21:17 ◼   ► half stars that's gonna have an [TS]

00:21:19 ◼   ► impression and then I want to read the [TS]

00:21:20 ◼   ► reviews are like are you kidding me no [TS]

00:21:22 ◼   ► you always very very literate and yet [TS]

00:21:25 ◼   ► here i am in silverdale and i'm looking [TS]

00:21:28 ◼   ► for a mediterranean restaurant because I [TS]

00:21:30 ◼   ► feel like having some stuffed grape [TS]

00:21:32 ◼   ► leaves and here this program pops up out [TS]

00:21:36 ◼   ► of nowhere it tells me where one is [TS]

00:21:38 ◼   ► that's nearby and then it gives me this [TS]

00:21:41 ◼   ► sort of it gives me this Sisyphean [TS]

00:21:45 ◼   ► choice right because the reviews are [TS]

00:21:48 ◼   ► inconclusive [TS]

00:21:49 ◼   ► there's a there's some reviews they're [TS]

00:21:51 ◼   ► like this is the most amazing place [TS]

00:21:53 ◼   ► and then there are all these reviews are [TS]

00:21:54 ◼   ► like it was terrible [TS]

00:21:56 ◼   ► the waitress was rude and the and the [TS]

00:21:59 ◼   ► grape leaves didn't even taste like [TS]

00:22:01 ◼   ► grapes [TS]

00:22:02 ◼   ► it's just like what is that what that [TS]

00:22:04 ◼   ► was and then you go and so so then you [TS]

00:22:06 ◼   ► think you're like rolling the rolling [TS]

00:22:08 ◼   ► the dice and in a way rolling the dice [TS]

00:22:11 ◼   ► imagining that you're full of [TS]

00:22:13 ◼   ► information but in fact rolling the dice [TS]

00:22:17 ◼   ► in exactly the same way as if you had [TS]

00:22:18 ◼   ► looked it up in the phone book and [TS]

00:22:20 ◼   ► pulled up out front of it and said do [TS]

00:22:21 ◼   ► you want to go in there [TS]

00:22:22 ◼   ► does it look okay and so you go in full [TS]

00:22:26 ◼   ► of information but with actually no [TS]

00:22:28 ◼   ► information because what it boils down [TS]

00:22:32 ◼   ► to is you're gonna walk into a place it [TS]

00:22:33 ◼   ► down and try it out and your experiences [TS]

00:22:36 ◼   ► you know like none of those reviews are [TS]

00:22:38 ◼   ► so far none of them helped and what [TS]

00:22:41 ◼   ► ended up happening was we were the only [TS]

00:22:42 ◼   ► people in the restaurant [TS]

00:22:44 ◼   ► the waitress was great the food was [TS]

00:22:45 ◼   ► amazing and it was like but how would my [TS]

00:22:48 ◼   ► yelp review add to the conversation [TS]

00:22:49 ◼   ► right the next time the next person that [TS]

00:22:52 ◼   ► comes along and reads that it might be [TS]

00:22:54 ◼   ► five o'clock at night there's 200 people [TS]

00:22:56 ◼   ► in the restaurant it's a completely [TS]

00:22:57 ◼   ► different [TS]

00:22:58 ◼   ► I I told you I totally agree because on [TS]

00:23:01 ◼   ► most of those reviews ok on the one hand [TS]

00:23:02 ◼   ► this is just my impression as somebody [TS]

00:23:04 ◼   ► who mostly tries to avoid reading the [TS]

00:23:05 ◼   ► actual reviews but i think people treat [TS]

00:23:08 ◼   ► it like a blog a lot of the time and [TS]

00:23:10 ◼   ► there is a certain amount of status to [TS]

00:23:13 ◼   ► being somebody who reviews a lot and [TS]

00:23:15 ◼   ► gets their reviews like meta reviewed [TS]

00:23:17 ◼   ► like hey this person's a good review its [TS]

00:23:19 ◼   ► a top reviewer like there's all that's [TS]

00:23:21 ◼   ► how the internet works now right you get [TS]

00:23:22 ◼   ► points to get Wolfie 44 going on doing [TS]

00:23:24 ◼   ► that stuff but anybody is a normal [TS]

00:23:26 ◼   ► person that was going to leave a review [TS]

00:23:27 ◼   ► i mean i think over seventy-five percent [TS]

00:23:30 ◼   ► of the time you would only leave review [TS]

00:23:32 ◼   ► if something very unusual and unexpected [TS]

00:23:35 ◼   ► how that's right that's right you are [TS]

00:23:37 ◼   ► the year the outlier right somebody like [TS]

00:23:39 ◼   ► me that had a great experience or or a [TS]

00:23:41 ◼   ► surprising like that was kind of weird [TS]

00:23:43 ◼   ► like everything was great except this [TS]

00:23:44 ◼   ► one dish right or exactly or you could [TS]

00:23:47 ◼   ► say but no I think about how you begin a [TS]

00:23:49 ◼   ► review like that i was i was visiting [TS]

00:23:52 ◼   ► town I knew nothing about this [TS]

00:23:54 ◼   ► neighborhood and I had a surprising [TS]

00:23:55 ◼   ► experience here because i didn't know [TS]

00:23:56 ◼   ► this place would be this good [TS]

00:23:58 ◼   ► it still comes down to you it's still [TS]

00:23:59 ◼   ► about like your personality and then [TS]

00:24:02 ◼   ► those there's not [TS]

00:24:04 ◼   ► it's just well speaking of which I [TS]

00:24:07 ◼   ► really weird experience this man will [TS]

00:24:09 ◼   ► give me a review [TS]

00:24:11 ◼   ► well so you know my frozen bacon process [TS]

00:24:15 ◼   ► yeah so i made a bunch of bacon and you [TS]

00:24:19 ◼   ► know what i've been i've been going to [TS]

00:24:20 ◼   ► the German butcher and getting the hand [TS]

00:24:22 ◼   ► made bacon that had been lovingly hand [TS]

00:24:25 ◼   ► padded room and I was just at like a [TS]

00:24:30 ◼   ► chain grocery store and there was some [TS]

00:24:32 ◼   ► like mega like three pound bag of bacon [TS]

00:24:36 ◼   ► for five dollars and I was like you know [TS]

00:24:38 ◼   ► what I don't give a shit right now I was [TS]

00:24:41 ◼   ► I was hungry I was confused i bought a [TS]

00:24:44 ◼   ► three pound bag of like hormel bacon and [TS]

00:24:48 ◼   ► I took it home and I did I did the bacon [TS]

00:24:50 ◼   ► method I frozen its individual bags [TS]

00:24:52 ◼   ► I've been enjoying this bacon quite a [TS]

00:24:54 ◼   ► bit it is just it's just normal bacon [TS]

00:24:58 ◼   ► right but this morning on my way rushing [TS]

00:25:01 ◼   ► out to go to the office I grabbed a bag [TS]

00:25:04 ◼   ► of frozen bacon I took a cup of two day [TS]

00:25:08 ◼   ► old coffee and microwaved it as I [TS]

00:25:10 ◼   ► normally do and then I poured some [TS]

00:25:14 ◼   ► half-and-half into it to to take the [TS]

00:25:17 ◼   ► edge off but it was a new thing of [TS]

00:25:20 ◼   ► half-and-half and I put a little bit [TS]

00:25:21 ◼   ► extra little bit too much happen if i [TS]

00:25:23 ◼   ► don't like it to be [TS]

00:25:25 ◼   ► I don't like it to be creamy I wanted to [TS]

00:25:29 ◼   ► just be a little coffee with a little [TS]

00:25:30 ◼   ► splash you know just a little like [TS]

00:25:32 ◼   ► little fireworks in there but so I put [TS]

00:25:35 ◼   ► too much half-and-half and i'm walking [TS]

00:25:36 ◼   ► out the door and I've got my microwave [TS]

00:25:40 ◼   ► coffee in one hand in a in a beer mug of [TS]

00:25:43 ◼   ► beer stein my frozen bacon and the other [TS]

00:25:45 ◼   ► and as a mormon up the truck and I take [TS]

00:25:49 ◼   ► a take a bite of delicious frozen bacon [TS]

00:25:51 ◼   ► oh here's the here's the other the other [TS]

00:25:53 ◼   ► wrinkle when I was making the bacon I [TS]

00:25:59 ◼   ► ran out of paper towels and so I did not [TS]

00:26:03 ◼   ► have a [TS]

00:26:06 ◼   ► system by which i could pat the grease [TS]

00:26:09 ◼   ► I'll right right right and so I just put [TS]

00:26:12 ◼   ► I just said you know what people have [TS]

00:26:13 ◼   ► been eating bacon for thousands of years [TS]

00:26:15 ◼   ► before paper towels were they even [TS]

00:26:18 ◼   ► invented by man or a mouse and so I just [TS]

00:26:21 ◼   ► put the greasy bacon in the bag and put [TS]

00:26:25 ◼   ► it in the freezer so the bacon had a [TS]

00:26:28 ◼   ► pretty good coding of frozen grease on [TS]

00:26:35 ◼   ► it so I eat a couple of pieces of frozen [TS]

00:26:40 ◼   ► greasy bacon and then I take a sip of [TS]

00:26:43 ◼   ► over microwaved two-day-old coffee with [TS]

00:26:47 ◼   ► too much cream in it and the combination [TS]

00:26:51 ◼   ► of those two substances hot and cold [TS]

00:26:54 ◼   ► crazy and greasy with the coffee as a [TS]

00:27:00 ◼   ► bonding agent created a new polymer in [TS]

00:27:04 ◼   ► my mouth and on my tongue where it was [TS]

00:27:08 ◼   ► like I'm the inside of my mouth had been [TS]

00:27:12 ◼   ► a tad itself been processed somehow so [TS]

00:27:18 ◼   ► that might bite my tongue no longer felt [TS]

00:27:21 ◼   ► like a friend if I'd known for a long [TS]

00:27:24 ◼   ► time [TS]

00:27:25 ◼   ► put it up oxidized it felt like someone [TS]

00:27:28 ◼   ► wearing a helmet was in my mouth and was [TS]

00:27:34 ◼   ► trying to was trying to like strip [TS]

00:27:38 ◼   ► wallpaper up off of one of out of an [TS]

00:27:40 ◼   ► abandoned house that's a good review and [TS]

00:27:44 ◼   ► I was like this is really not what I was [TS]

00:27:47 ◼   ► expecting but it wasn't entirely [TS]

00:27:51 ◼   ► unpleasant and so it persisted and I i [TS]

00:27:58 ◼   ► put the car in gear and I'd driving down [TS]

00:28:00 ◼   ► the road and I'm exploring my new mouth [TS]

00:28:02 ◼   ► with this with this new helmeted friend [TS]

00:28:05 ◼   ► knew who it is unclear whether he's a [TS]

00:28:07 ◼   ► friend yet but he's certainly an ally [TS]

00:28:08 ◼   ► and and it lasted probably for [TS]

00:28:13 ◼   ► half-an-hour basic this experience there [TS]

00:28:15 ◼   ► was a tingling there was because I [TS]

00:28:18 ◼   ► picked the song [TS]

00:28:19 ◼   ► it was also playing a role i don't know [TS]

00:28:23 ◼   ► i'm still reeling from it it sounds like [TS]

00:28:25 ◼   ► you're not- you're ambivalent well as [TS]

00:28:30 ◼   ► your helmet friend i'm i'm glad that I'm [TS]

00:28:32 ◼   ► glad that that's not still going on in [TS]

00:28:33 ◼   ► my mouth i'm glad that that i'm not sure [TS]

00:28:37 ◼   ► if i will repeat it immediately but i do [TS]

00:28:41 ◼   ► feel like that particular polymer might [TS]

00:28:44 ◼   ► be of use in science [TS]

00:28:46 ◼   ► hmm and if there are people out there [TS]

00:28:49 ◼   ► listening this program who are in the [TS]

00:28:52 ◼   ► science or science as stem careers they [TS]

00:28:56 ◼   ► call it maybe experiment with those [TS]

00:29:00 ◼   ► ingredients as a kind of like maybe new [TS]

00:29:06 ◼   ► anesthetic or you know you never know [TS]

00:29:09 ◼   ► what that stuff is going to do right it [TS]

00:29:11 ◼   ► could be a cure for polio although we [TS]

00:29:13 ◼   ► don't we don't need one of those for now [TS]

00:29:16 ◼   ► right but but you know that kind of [TS]

00:29:20 ◼   ► experimentation [TS]

00:29:23 ◼   ► I don't think we need to go all the way [TS]

00:29:24 ◼   ► up the Amazon to find new grasses that [TS]

00:29:28 ◼   ► contain harare or whatever i think i may [TS]

00:29:32 ◼   ► have I may have manufactured sure RA in [TS]

00:29:34 ◼   ► my own rap by combining these beakers of [TS]

00:29:40 ◼   ► like material that shouldn't ever be put [TS]

00:29:42 ◼   ► or maybe should be put together on this [TS]

00:29:45 ◼   ► is like the hundred monkeys typing [TS]

00:29:47 ◼   ► typing on typewriter how how many [TS]

00:29:50 ◼   ► millennia might have been before [TS]

00:29:51 ◼   ► somebody came up with this particular [TS]

00:29:53 ◼   ► mixture [TS]

00:29:54 ◼   ► well that that's the thing i don't think [TS]

00:29:55 ◼   ► that frozen bacon is very common [TS]

00:29:58 ◼   ► I think microwave coffee is pretty [TS]

00:30:00 ◼   ► common i think over creamed coffee know [TS]

00:30:04 ◼   ► there's like three or four things here [TS]

00:30:05 ◼   ► also a big Stein there's several parts [TS]

00:30:08 ◼   ► to this that are that are unique [TS]

00:30:09 ◼   ► next I'm sitting in a cold truck I mean [TS]

00:30:12 ◼   ► there's a and it's kind of you know it's [TS]

00:30:14 ◼   ► it's a big motor so it's kind of [TS]

00:30:16 ◼   ► vibrating me there's a little bit of a [TS]

00:30:17 ◼   ► it's it's not quite a centrifuge but [TS]

00:30:20 ◼   ► there is a mixer [TS]

00:30:21 ◼   ► I mean this is not a thing people have [TS]

00:30:23 ◼   ► been eating bacon and drinking coffee [TS]

00:30:25 ◼   ► for millennia [TS]

00:30:27 ◼   ► but i don't know if this particular set [TS]

00:30:30 ◼   ► of circumstances that never occurred [TS]

00:30:31 ◼   ► before and the Black Swan so I don't [TS]

00:30:35 ◼   ► know everything on this everything on [TS]

00:30:37 ◼   ► this podcast so far has been creative [TS]

00:30:39 ◼   ► commons right yeah everybody everybody [TS]

00:30:42 ◼   ► just gets to take it and only make sure [TS]

00:30:44 ◼   ► to have it as long as you credit it to [TS]

00:30:46 ◼   ► us [TS]

00:30:47 ◼   ► you can go ahead and remix it and make [TS]

00:30:49 ◼   ► your own albums girl hot cast just out [TS]

00:30:51 ◼   ► of out of remixes sure sure I create a [TS]

00:30:55 ◼   ► whole platform at if you took this [TS]

00:30:56 ◼   ► podcast and you sped my voice up so that [TS]

00:31:01 ◼   ► it was at the pitch of your voice and [TS]

00:31:03 ◼   ► you slowed your voice down so that the [TS]

00:31:05 ◼   ► picture of mine [TS]

00:31:06 ◼   ► it wouldn't be that much of a of a [TS]

00:31:09 ◼   ► monkey right but you'd have to monkey [TS]

00:31:11 ◼   ► with their voices a little bit how would [TS]

00:31:13 ◼   ► that change the dynamic of the [TS]

00:31:14 ◼   ► conversation for the listener I'm gonna [TS]

00:31:16 ◼   ► say a lot [TS]

00:31:17 ◼   ► mhm mhm these we have our special [TS]

00:31:21 ◼   ► cadences right if I was a little bit [TS]

00:31:23 ◼   ► faster and a little bit you know like [TS]

00:31:25 ◼   ► just picked up a quarter tone yeah and [TS]

00:31:29 ◼   ► you were a little bit more laconic well [TS]

00:31:31 ◼   ► you know let's not go crazy with the [TS]

00:31:32 ◼   ► formula right I've been sure you know [TS]

00:31:36 ◼   ► what you know what Castello di just [TS]

00:31:37 ◼   ► start punching a bit for no reason [TS]

00:31:39 ◼   ► no you'd know you don't fuck with the [TS]

00:31:41 ◼   ► formula no you don't [TS]

00:31:43 ◼   ► don't fuck with the formula i'm just [TS]

00:31:44 ◼   ► wondering if if if a scientist have an [TS]

00:31:46 ◼   ► intrepid like thought scientist was out [TS]

00:31:49 ◼   ► there and was like I'm just you know [TS]

00:31:50 ◼   ► what I'm going to slow one guy up and [TS]

00:31:51 ◼   ► speed is slow one guy up and speed the [TS]

00:31:54 ◼   ► other guy down and down and then apply [TS]

00:31:58 ◼   ► that algorithm to all the past podcasts [TS]

00:32:01 ◼   ► em they're talking about a kind of [TS]

00:32:04 ◼   ► multiverse that could be created [TS]

00:32:05 ◼   ► that's right create create a multiverse [TS]

00:32:07 ◼   ► where or no one expected it and then oh [TS]

00:32:11 ◼   ► and then play those play those episodes [TS]

00:32:13 ◼   ► to someone who had never heard the show [TS]

00:32:15 ◼   ► before [TS]

00:32:16 ◼   ► and say what do you think these guys [TS]

00:32:18 ◼   ► would still be helpful right yeah yeah [TS]

00:32:21 ◼   ► yeah but people just be like what is [TS]

00:32:22 ◼   ► this is just very unsettled you know [TS]

00:32:25 ◼   ► John I encourage science i think it's a [TS]

00:32:27 ◼   ► good idea i think i think [TS]

00:32:28 ◼   ► experimentation is as interesting a [TS]

00:32:30 ◼   ► little worried that somebody's probably [TS]

00:32:32 ◼   ► try it now [TS]

00:32:33 ◼   ► really weird but there's a lot of [TS]

00:32:35 ◼   ► amateur scientist a lot of lay persons [TS]

00:32:37 ◼   ► who you know my just want to go to do [TS]

00:32:39 ◼   ► that and I I kind of a little scared [TS]

00:32:41 ◼   ► with what that would sound like you know [TS]

00:32:42 ◼   ► I feel like this podcast is basically a [TS]

00:32:44 ◼   ► bear talking to a raccoon and if you do [TS]

00:32:49 ◼   ► buy the record my little my little black [TS]

00:32:54 ◼   ► paws you took a few turns his head a [TS]

00:32:57 ◼   ► little bit if you did chewing on a piece [TS]

00:33:00 ◼   ► of garbage what maybe if you took a bit [TS]

00:33:03 ◼   ► of conversation be a barren raccoon and [TS]

00:33:05 ◼   ► you made the record sound like a parent [TS]

00:33:07 ◼   ► the pair sound like a raccoon that's [TS]

00:33:08 ◼   ► going to upset the animal kingdom right [TS]

00:33:10 ◼   ► people are gonna be sure that coffee was [TS]

00:33:12 ◼   ► ok John I honestly have no idea [TS]

00:33:14 ◼   ► and frankly you might have got into a [TS]

00:33:16 ◼   ► bit of a few state right now I don't [TS]

00:33:18 ◼   ► know how long that cream was in the [TS]

00:33:19 ◼   ► refrigerator remember buying and I was [TS]

00:33:21 ◼   ► out of town for weeks [TS]

00:33:23 ◼   ► this episode of rock on the line is [TS]

00:33:24 ◼   ► sponsored by Squarespace the all-in-one [TS]

00:33:27 ◼   ► platform that makes it fast and easy to [TS]

00:33:29 ◼   ► create your own professional website [TS]

00:33:30 ◼   ► portfolio and online store guys i have [TS]

00:33:34 ◼   ► been using square space for over five [TS]

00:33:36 ◼   ► years now and I really think you should [TS]

00:33:37 ◼   ► check them out to they have taken all [TS]

00:33:39 ◼   ► the pain and blood loss out of creating [TS]

00:33:41 ◼   ► and maintaining a gorgeous website they [TS]

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00:34:38 ◼   ► offer code supertrain to get ten percent [TS]

00:34:41 ◼   ► off your first purchase it also shows [TS]

00:34:43 ◼   ► your support for Roderick on the line as [TS]

00:34:46 ◼   ► always thank you so much to our friends [TS]

00:34:47 ◼   ► at square space for a great service and [TS]

00:34:49 ◼   ► for supporting Roderick on the line [TS]

00:34:51 ◼   ► Squarespace build it beautiful oh dear [TS]

00:34:54 ◼   ► dear dear [TS]

00:34:55 ◼   ► you know I hate to bring up gravy again [TS]

00:34:58 ◼   ► mhm but uh I did you notice the number [TS]

00:35:01 ◼   ► of people that pushed back on the great [TS]

00:35:03 ◼   ► like I expected people would respond to [TS]

00:35:05 ◼   ► that episode by saying i love gravy [TS]

00:35:08 ◼   ► I didn't get that I thought they were I [TS]

00:35:10 ◼   ► got it I got three or four people that [TS]

00:35:11 ◼   ► were like gravy know what you got to be [TS]

00:35:14 ◼   ► kidding know what you what you really [TS]

00:35:16 ◼   ► want is like leak super mental mental [TS]

00:35:21 ◼   ► mental butter or you know like they had [TS]

00:35:23 ◼   ► something else besides greater for God [TS]

00:35:25 ◼   ► that was better or you know change the [TS]

00:35:28 ◼   ► calculation somehow the right right well [TS]

00:35:30 ◼   ► it's that this is the god damn it this [TS]

00:35:33 ◼   ► is the beauty of this ecosystem of this [TS]

00:35:34 ◼   ► gravy multiverse is that there are there [TS]

00:35:36 ◼   ► are so many options in so many [TS]

00:35:38 ◼   ► combinations I think if anything we're [TS]

00:35:40 ◼   ► saying we just want to be more sauce [TS]

00:35:41 ◼   ► positive [TS]

00:35:42 ◼   ► yeah yeah that's absolutely right i I [TS]

00:35:44 ◼   ► don't I don't have a dog in this fight I [TS]

00:35:45 ◼   ► don't have a raccoon in this bear [TS]

00:35:46 ◼   ► whatever it is that people want to do I [TS]

00:35:48 ◼   ► just want them to feel free i would [TS]

00:35:50 ◼   ► encourage them to to try saucing more [TS]

00:35:53 ◼   ► things and and maybe sometimes have a [TS]

00:35:54 ◼   ► couple sauces [TS]

00:35:56 ◼   ► that's what I'm saying I I went through [TS]

00:35:58 ◼   ► a real Sasuke's recently that was sort [TS]

00:36:01 ◼   ► of in addition to my normal Sasuke's in [TS]

00:36:04 ◼   ► your saucer your sake I am and it was us [TS]

00:36:06 ◼   ► it was a sauce [TS]

00:36:07 ◼   ► it was a level it was soft level above [TS]

00:36:09 ◼   ► the normal level and i started any time [TS]

00:36:12 ◼   ► I cooked something and there was [TS]

00:36:14 ◼   ► anything left in the pan i would start [TS]

00:36:16 ◼   ► making a sauce i would take the thing [TS]

00:36:19 ◼   ► and i would put it over on a plate and i [TS]

00:36:20 ◼   ► would let it go cold while I SAT and [TS]

00:36:22 ◼   ► like focused on this sauce is gonna get [TS]

00:36:25 ◼   ► dr. Frankenstein maddie is kept i was [TS]

00:36:27 ◼   ► just like the sauce but the problem was [TS]

00:36:31 ◼   ► I'll of Marsala wine [TS]

00:36:34 ◼   ► yeah in a sauce it gives it a little [TS]

00:36:36 ◼   ► pill but I couldn't get away from the [TS]

00:36:38 ◼   ► marsala I would make the sauce I be [TS]

00:36:40 ◼   ► liking this is pretty good and what does [TS]

00:36:41 ◼   ► it need a little bit of member and then [TS]

00:36:42 ◼   ► I would always throw the wine in and so [TS]

00:36:45 ◼   ► every sauce ended up tasting the same [TS]

00:36:47 ◼   ► LOL and uh and I that included like [TS]

00:36:50 ◼   ► cheese sauces and I was just I couldn't [TS]

00:36:52 ◼   ► stop this is some one of the problems [TS]

00:36:55 ◼   ► with my cooking is like I know what I [TS]

00:36:58 ◼   ► know basically what ten ingredients do [TS]

00:37:00 ◼   ► there are 800 ingredients I don't know [TS]

00:37:03 ◼   ► what they do [TS]

00:37:04 ◼   ► uh-huh attend ingredients i dunno what [TS]

00:37:06 ◼   ► they do I end up putting them in [TS]

00:37:08 ◼   ► everything [TS]

00:37:08 ◼   ► yeah i'm the same way I'm exact all got [TS]

00:37:11 ◼   ► on the same way I cook I do so few [TS]

00:37:14 ◼   ► things like a man but I really cook like [TS]

00:37:16 ◼   ► a man not a good way i mean it's it's [TS]

00:37:19 ◼   ► it's going to be kosher salt garlic [TS]

00:37:22 ◼   ► powder [TS]

00:37:23 ◼   ► mrs. dash uh-huh and a little bit of [TS]

00:37:28 ◼   ► Lowery's to put a little hours on there [TS]

00:37:30 ◼   ► you know what I'm i don't i'm [TS]

00:37:33 ◼   ► uncomfortable saying this because my [TS]

00:37:34 ◼   ► wife kind of knows i do this and doesn't [TS]

00:37:36 ◼   ► like it I'll put some accent applause [TS]

00:37:38 ◼   ► max sentence seriously funny i'm a [TS]

00:37:41 ◼   ► little miss injure people must join you [TS]

00:37:45 ◼   ► know no disrespect to the people who [TS]

00:37:47 ◼   ► think that they're allergic to MSG comma [TS]

00:37:50 ◼   ► but yes i will put in it is how amazing [TS]

00:37:53 ◼   ► you hate crime [TS]

00:37:54 ◼   ► hey grunts that's okay so here's what [TS]

00:37:56 ◼   ► happened and I'm you know this is one of [TS]

00:37:59 ◼   ► those things one of those adults logs [TS]

00:38:02 ◼   ► were pretty much knew how this was gonna [TS]

00:38:03 ◼   ► go but I threw myself into it anyway [TS]

00:38:06 ◼   ► here's what happened last episode for [TS]

00:38:11 ◼   ► those of you have welcome welcome to [TS]

00:38:13 ◼   ► never heard the show we ended up talking [TS]

00:38:15 ◼   ► a lot at the end of the program about [TS]

00:38:17 ◼   ► the various sauces and gravies that we [TS]

00:38:19 ◼   ► enjoyed and how when we had been on a [TS]

00:38:21 ◼   ► cruise three weeks ago we were able to [TS]

00:38:24 ◼   ► have access two sauces and gravies of [TS]

00:38:26 ◼   ► many kinds all you care to eat anyway [TS]

00:38:29 ◼   ► and it made it made us into gravy [TS]

00:38:30 ◼   ► scientist [TS]

00:38:32 ◼   ► then a few days later I went out and had [TS]

00:38:35 ◼   ► like our quarterly comic meet up and I [TS]

00:38:37 ◼   ► swear to Christ John I don't know what [TS]

00:38:39 ◼   ► happened to me I i did go into a few [TS]

00:38:41 ◼   ► state and for like an hour and a half [TS]

00:38:42 ◼   ► you ask anybody who was there all I did [TS]

00:38:44 ◼   ► was talk about gravy for like an hour [TS]

00:38:46 ◼   ► and a half maybe that's why I'm getting [TS]

00:38:47 ◼   ► so much mail maybe our i'm getting mail [TS]

00:38:49 ◼   ► from people who were there I i was [TS]

00:38:51 ◼   ► really pitching apparently I i have [TS]

00:38:54 ◼   ► talked about this in many podcast and [TS]

00:38:55 ◼   ► other places before the idea of having [TS]

00:38:57 ◼   ► basically a mall restaurant that's all [TS]

00:39:01 ◼   ► about sauces apparently this is [TS]

00:39:02 ◼   ► something I've gone through before long [TS]

00:39:04 ◼   ► story short I want some fucking gravy in [TS]

00:39:06 ◼   ► my life and and here's the dumb guy part [TS]

00:39:09 ◼   ► is I wanted it to be easy so here's what [TS]

00:39:10 ◼   ► i did i knew this was going to work i [TS]

00:39:13 ◼   ► went to the store I went to the safeway [TS]

00:39:15 ◼   ► i went to the aisle with the gravy's oh [TS]

00:39:18 ◼   ► no and i bought a bunch of different [TS]

00:39:21 ◼   ► gravy oak and gravies and gravy mixes [TS]

00:39:24 ◼   ► and can I just tell you so far and [TS]

00:39:26 ◼   ► understand now like I'm like a little [TS]

00:39:28 ◼   ► child going into this i'm so excited [TS]

00:39:29 ◼   ► very first fucking gravy [TS]

00:39:31 ◼   ► yeah you know what they've been a [TS]

00:39:32 ◼   ► literal abortion every yeah i know it's [TS]

00:39:34 ◼   ► terrible somehow they put in that it's [TS]

00:39:36 ◼   ► not the sampan gum it is some other sort [TS]

00:39:39 ◼   ► of a multiplier or stabilizer that they [TS]

00:39:42 ◼   ► put in there that makes every canned [TS]

00:39:44 ◼   ► gravy tastes like you are licking and [TS]

00:39:51 ◼   ► licking a pan in a restaurant that [TS]

00:39:53 ◼   ► really should be cleaned rather than [TS]

00:39:54 ◼   ► linked yeah you're looking a dirty pants [TS]

00:39:57 ◼   ► here--here's the thing is the other part [TS]

00:39:59 ◼   ► this is I really had to fight myself [TS]

00:40:01 ◼   ► because I I'm an ingredient reader even [TS]

00:40:04 ◼   ► if you know I don't always not always [TS]

00:40:06 ◼   ► the healthiest either but i do like to [TS]

00:40:07 ◼   ► know what's unhealthy about what I'm [TS]

00:40:09 ◼   ► eating and you know me I'm a pretty [TS]

00:40:12 ◼   ► healthy eater I don't have high [TS]

00:40:13 ◼   ► standards [TS]

00:40:13 ◼   ► yeah but basically there's a flavor that [TS]

00:40:16 ◼   ► I wanted somewhere in the first 10 [TS]

00:40:18 ◼   ► ingredients is a flavor that I wanted [TS]

00:40:20 ◼   ► and then six to eight things that I [TS]

00:40:22 ◼   ► generally try to avoid in everything [TS]

00:40:23 ◼   ► that I yeah right like the taste of [TS]

00:40:25 ◼   ► plastic [TS]

00:40:26 ◼   ► well cases there somewhere in there is [TS]

00:40:29 ◼   ► chicken broth but then you've got you've [TS]

00:40:31 ◼   ► got corn starch fuck that yeah i mean i [TS]

00:40:33 ◼   ► know you gotta have that in gravy but [TS]

00:40:35 ◼   ► like the first ingredients are all like [TS]

00:40:36 ◼   ► grains that I try to avoid yeah [TS]

00:40:39 ◼   ► bombs and stuff like that doesn't come [TS]

00:40:41 ◼   ► screams and cums I mean I i tried given [TS]

00:40:44 ◼   ► the given the choice i will avoid a [TS]

00:40:46 ◼   ► greater gone because it in a non gravy [TS]

00:40:49 ◼   ► environment those are not things that [TS]

00:40:50 ◼   ► you want adulterating your food [TS]

00:40:52 ◼   ► no I tried I tried to pack oh god I got [TS]

00:40:56 ◼   ► some Universal envelopes like taco mix [TS]

00:40:59 ◼   ► oh yeah yeah I don't know what I'm [TS]

00:41:01 ◼   ► thinking John why am I saying this i got [TS]

00:41:02 ◼   ► i got like six or eight of those and [TS]

00:41:04 ◼   ► then a couple jars [TS]

00:41:05 ◼   ► yeah the the packs are just somebody [TS]

00:41:08 ◼   ► like crushed up to bullion cubes and [TS]

00:41:10 ◼   ► then mixed in some it's a board meeting [TS]

00:41:12 ◼   ► in a bag basically people go like what's [TS]

00:41:14 ◼   ► a bunch of shit we've got that we can [TS]

00:41:16 ◼   ► put a photo on and charged a dollar 89 [TS]

00:41:18 ◼   ► for okay fine so I got the nicest one I [TS]

00:41:20 ◼   ► could find the nicest assist envelope of [TS]

00:41:23 ◼   ► sausage gravy i could find because you [TS]

00:41:25 ◼   ► had milk instead of water right [TS]

00:41:26 ◼   ► obviously all walk we had two cups of [TS]

00:41:30 ◼   ► milk to this pocket of powder it was so [TS]

00:41:36 ◼   ► disgusting it doesn't taste like it [TS]

00:41:38 ◼   ► really it's what I imagine maybe Soylent [TS]

00:41:41 ◼   ► tastes like listen I i wish you had [TS]

00:41:43 ◼   ► called me i mean in general i want you [TS]

00:41:45 ◼   ► to call me [TS]

00:41:46 ◼   ► yes in situations where i was having [TS]

00:41:48 ◼   ► with these inflection points located one [TS]

00:41:49 ◼   ► way or another [TS]

00:41:50 ◼   ► yeah I'm liable listen i have tried [TS]

00:41:52 ◼   ► every package sauce and a so many of [TS]

00:41:57 ◼   ► them you just need to run you need to [TS]

00:42:00 ◼   ► run from the from so many of those the [TS]

00:42:03 ◼   ► Swanson's never bought this I don't [TS]

00:42:05 ◼   ► mccormick packs i don't buy those taco [TS]

00:42:07 ◼   ► packs i know that's real ghetto kind of [TS]

00:42:09 ◼   ► kind of food not get out you know what I [TS]

00:42:10 ◼   ► mean it's a real downscale except here's [TS]

00:42:14 ◼   ► here's the beers the problem you want to [TS]

00:42:16 ◼   ► stroganoff you know how does a man make [TS]

00:42:19 ◼   ► a stroganoff with having to throw away a [TS]

00:42:21 ◼   ► lot of food like I could get a [TS]

00:42:23 ◼   ► stouffer's right yeah yeah you're [TS]

00:42:26 ◼   ► talking about the Salisbury steaks [TS]

00:42:27 ◼   ► really took me back i'm thinking i'm [TS]

00:42:30 ◼   ► going to explore some Salisbury steaks [TS]

00:42:31 ◼   ► and some strong enough i love stroganoff [TS]

00:42:33 ◼   ► oh that's one of the that's one of the [TS]

00:42:34 ◼   ► all-time great foods stroganoff with [TS]

00:42:36 ◼   ► with noodles [TS]

00:42:37 ◼   ► oh boy but you know what happened to [TS]

00:42:39 ◼   ► stroganoff siz that stroganoff have [TS]

00:42:42 ◼   ► become one of these like one of these [TS]

00:42:45 ◼   ► secret with artisanal food weapons on [TS]

00:42:48 ◼   ► no people have artificially weaponized [TS]

00:42:51 ◼   ► stroganoff sauce so you walk into a [TS]

00:42:54 ◼   ► restaurant and you're like uh I don't [TS]

00:42:56 ◼   ► know what is all this I don't want any [TS]

00:42:58 ◼   ► of this too so I I think I know exactly [TS]

00:43:00 ◼   ► what you're talking about [TS]

00:43:02 ◼   ► I think of food you take a peasant food [TS]

00:43:03 ◼   ► up having for the perfect the way it is [TS]

00:43:06 ◼   ► yep and then you try to make it small [TS]

00:43:07 ◼   ► batch yeah and then you put then [TS]

00:43:08 ◼   ► obviously the stress so I'm like oh [TS]

00:43:10 ◼   ► they've got strung up on the menu shit [TS]

00:43:11 ◼   ► you know what that's what i want i want [TS]

00:43:13 ◼   ► a strong enough I don't you know I don't [TS]

00:43:15 ◼   ► need like any like beef tongue carpaccio [TS]

00:43:18 ◼   ► and mediterranean stroganoff with a bang [TS]

00:43:21 ◼   ► of southwestern spice yeah a little and [TS]

00:43:23 ◼   ► one of the worst part about it is it [TS]

00:43:24 ◼   ► comes and they have obviously put a new [TS]

00:43:27 ◼   ► york stake in it and it's like why is [TS]

00:43:32 ◼   ► this why is this full of new york state [TS]

00:43:34 ◼   ► any order on death row John that's not [TS]

00:43:37 ◼   ► like that kind of food for a person [TS]

00:43:39 ◼   ► who's for in a free society [TS]

00:43:40 ◼   ► oh my god if i had seriously i have us i [TS]

00:43:43 ◼   ► have a three-ring binder of my death row [TS]

00:43:45 ◼   ► food [TS]

00:43:46 ◼   ► DAV thought about some pairings well as [TS]

00:43:48 ◼   ► you know as you know I haven't read [TS]

00:43:50 ◼   ► Shakespeare because I'm saving it for [TS]

00:43:52 ◼   ► prison yeah and then there are some [TS]

00:43:54 ◼   ► things that I'm kind of saving for death [TS]

00:43:57 ◼   ► row with that if that's how it is that's [TS]

00:43:58 ◼   ► how this all plays out and one of those [TS]

00:44:01 ◼   ► is like a you know that last menu I've [TS]

00:44:04 ◼   ► seen some amazing men used to fried [TS]

00:44:06 ◼   ► chickens [TS]

00:44:06 ◼   ► I read one the other day that woman is [TS]

00:44:09 ◼   ► on death row she had a pretty amazing [TS]

00:44:11 ◼   ► last meal stacked up if you trust that's [TS]

00:44:14 ◼   ► right find it [TS]

00:44:15 ◼   ► drywall dry white toast to fried [TS]

00:44:17 ◼   ► chickens and act like you know hell yes [TS]

00:44:21 ◼   ► I'm gonna I'm gonna have like it's gonna [TS]

00:44:23 ◼   ► be that will be the one time that I [TS]

00:44:25 ◼   ► topics without without wrinkling my nose [TS]

00:44:29 ◼   ► at the affair right because I'm gonna be [TS]

00:44:31 ◼   ► like I want I want a little bit of the [TS]

00:44:34 ◼   ► following 60 foods [TS]

00:44:36 ◼   ► there's a lady on death row in Georgia [TS]

00:44:39 ◼   ► she was two cheeseburgers two large [TS]

00:44:41 ◼   ► orders of fries lemonade cherry vanilla [TS]

00:44:43 ◼   ► ice cream popcorn corn bread and a salad [TS]

00:44:45 ◼   ► made of boiled eggs tomatoes bell [TS]

00:44:47 ◼   ► peppers onions carrots cheese and [TS]

00:44:49 ◼   ► buttermilk dressing [TS]

00:44:50 ◼   ► Wow mhm there are some i can point to [TS]

00:44:54 ◼   ► some restaurants in Nebraska where they [TS]

00:44:56 ◼   ► eat once you get that right on the menu [TS]

00:44:57 ◼   ► is actually a platter and order is [TS]

00:45:00 ◼   ► beyond a single place right that's all [TS]

00:45:02 ◼   ► her number number number two yeah i [TS]

00:45:05 ◼   ► think that i would have to have some [TS]

00:45:07 ◼   ► comfort foods I'd have some like you [TS]

00:45:09 ◼   ► know what you know what a food that I [TS]

00:45:10 ◼   ► really have always liked chicken cordon [TS]

00:45:12 ◼   ► bleu [TS]

00:45:13 ◼   ► mmm chicken koji cordon bleu yes it got [TS]

00:45:17 ◼   ► a little bit ruined for me when I worked [TS]

00:45:19 ◼   ► in restaurants where that was there are [TS]

00:45:22 ◼   ► certain kinds of things that can be [TS]

00:45:24 ◼   ► really good veal Oscar certain kinds of [TS]

00:45:27 ◼   ► things that you just knew had been like [TS]

00:45:28 ◼   ► made a few days ago and we're sitting in [TS]

00:45:30 ◼   ► a big tray yeah when it's done well that [TS]

00:45:32 ◼   ► can be that can be quite good so one of [TS]

00:45:34 ◼   ► the first times that i really felt like [TS]

00:45:36 ◼   ► an adult i was in college i was probably [TS]

00:45:39 ◼   ► one sophomore and I had a up at the [TS]

00:45:48 ◼   ► party didn't happen at my house and I [TS]

00:45:50 ◼   ► think it's because my house even when I [TS]

00:45:52 ◼   ► was feeling like an adult my house was [TS]

00:45:54 ◼   ► generally uninhabitable but I wanted [TS]

00:45:58 ◼   ► things like the large bottles of P you [TS]

00:46:01 ◼   ► were saving well or at that point in [TS]

00:46:03 ◼   ► time like the pony keg that had a pony [TS]

00:46:07 ◼   ► keg that had sort of let go sour and the [TS]

00:46:11 ◼   ► the the party a few days before we're at [TS]

00:46:14 ◼   ► a certain point in the night people just [TS]

00:46:15 ◼   ► started putting their cigarettes out on [TS]

00:46:16 ◼   ► the floor so I was at a friend's house [TS]

00:46:20 ◼   ► but it was my party you know that kind [TS]

00:46:22 ◼   ► of scene where it's like we're having a [TS]

00:46:23 ◼   ► party it's at your house but it's my [TS]

00:46:25 ◼   ► party and the party was and like we [TS]

00:46:28 ◼   ► invited all the girls we knew and they [TS]

00:46:30 ◼   ► all came and it was it was a big enough [TS]

00:46:35 ◼   ► group probably 20 people that if that [TS]

00:46:37 ◼   ► felt like a party and not just a [TS]

00:46:38 ◼   ► gathering and my idea was we were all [TS]

00:46:43 ◼   ► going we're going to assembly line some [TS]

00:46:45 ◼   ► chicken cordon bleu and so we had all [TS]

00:46:48 ◼   ► the ingredients all of bowls of milk and [TS]

00:46:51 ◼   ► egg and breadcrumbs and people were on [TS]

00:46:53 ◼   ► board with this [TS]

00:46:54 ◼   ► people were like yes let's do it and i [TS]

00:46:56 ◼   ► think it was you know i mean it was [TS]

00:46:58 ◼   ► during a time when just the nature of [TS]

00:47:01 ◼   ► how we threw parties we were always a [TS]

00:47:02 ◼   ► little hungry if you know what I mean [TS]

00:47:05 ◼   ► and so we got this assembly line going [TS]

00:47:07 ◼   ► and everybody thought we were pounding [TS]

00:47:11 ◼   ► these chicken breasts flat and we were [TS]

00:47:12 ◼   ► rolling them up and we had [TS]

00:47:14 ◼   ► we got an officer good ingredients and [TS]

00:47:16 ◼   ► we had the best time it was basically [TS]

00:47:19 ◼   ► the whole the whole party was just [TS]

00:47:21 ◼   ► making chicken cordon bleu's we were [TS]

00:47:23 ◼   ► cycling through the oven and let it come [TS]

00:47:27 ◼   ► out and you'd better let them cool down [TS]

00:47:28 ◼   ► and then everybody would try one and [TS]

00:47:30 ◼   ► then another one would would be ready [TS]

00:47:32 ◼   ► it was a really good sounds that's [TS]

00:47:33 ◼   ► delightful yeah and and the the problem [TS]

00:47:37 ◼   ► is i'm pretty sure that was maybe 1989 [TS]

00:47:41 ◼   ► i'm pretty sure i have never made a [TS]

00:47:43 ◼   ► chicken cordon bleu since that time [TS]

00:47:45 ◼   ► because it really was it [TS]

00:47:47 ◼   ► it's a lot of work uh-huh you know just [TS]

00:47:49 ◼   ► like toss one of those off right but you [TS]

00:47:52 ◼   ► can buy them in a box yeah some of those [TS]

00:47:55 ◼   ► kinds of things are better than others [TS]

00:47:56 ◼   ► for sure i'm just reading here on this [TS]

00:47:59 ◼   ► page that says in 2011 Texas stop the [TS]

00:48:02 ◼   ► last meal tradition after Lawrence [TS]

00:48:04 ◼   ► Russell Brewer ask for a large final [TS]

00:48:06 ◼   ► meal including two chicken fried steaks [TS]

00:48:08 ◼   ► triple bacon cheeseburger and meat [TS]

00:48:09 ◼   ► lovers Pizza and refused to eat it [TS]

00:48:12 ◼   ► oh he dogged him right at the end you [TS]

00:48:14 ◼   ► ruined it for everyone [TS]

00:48:15 ◼   ► he was like you know what now I'm not [TS]

00:48:17 ◼   ► even gonna eat it because i just [TS]

00:48:18 ◼   ► realized that you're about to kill me [TS]

00:48:20 ◼   ► kind of weird I mean really think about [TS]

00:48:22 ◼   ► that though I mean so now anybody who's [TS]

00:48:25 ◼   ► one of the many many people sentenced to [TS]

00:48:26 ◼   ► death in Texas can't get a final meal [TS]

00:48:28 ◼   ► just because this guy was being kind of [TS]

00:48:30 ◼   ► ornery well and it seems weird like what [TS]

00:48:32 ◼   ► did that cost them 30 bucks yeah they're [TS]

00:48:34 ◼   ► they're mad about the 30 bucks that that [TS]

00:48:36 ◼   ► the guy that was about to die didn't [TS]

00:48:38 ◼   ► heat if I just make him feel bad you [TS]

00:48:41 ◼   ► know that's i'm guessing that that that [TS]

00:48:43 ◼   ► kind of mentality in Texas comes right [TS]

00:48:45 ◼   ► from the top down [TS]

00:48:46 ◼   ► I think that's probably Rick Perry that [TS]

00:48:49 ◼   ► came across his desk he was like you [TS]

00:48:50 ◼   ► know what we're not going to give [TS]

00:48:51 ◼   ► anybody a dinner and bust it up and [TS]

00:48:54 ◼   ► bring it to me and people were like he's [TS]

00:48:57 ◼   ► the governor [TS]

00:48:58 ◼   ► yep he must know on a country so I now [TS]

00:49:01 ◼   ► now I'm on the horns of a dilemma [TS]

00:49:03 ◼   ► because i do have these packets it was [TS]

00:49:05 ◼   ► not a large financial investment I'm i [TS]

00:49:08 ◼   ► don't see i'll try maybe one more but [TS]

00:49:10 ◼   ► now i'm figuring I'm trying to figure [TS]

00:49:11 ◼   ► out what my options are [TS]

00:49:12 ◼   ► what I'm sorry I don't mean to around at [TS]

00:49:15 ◼   ► all i figured i might move up the line a [TS]

00:49:17 ◼   ► little bit maybe i'll see if whole foods [TS]

00:49:19 ◼   ► has a line of gravies i can look on [TS]

00:49:21 ◼   ► amazon i haven't seen much on costco but [TS]

00:49:24 ◼   ► you know my goal was to get it where [TS]

00:49:26 ◼   ► it's kind of like you're frozen bacon [TS]

00:49:28 ◼   ► program i want to get it to where i can [TS]

00:49:31 ◼   ► have a a ready supply of small amounts [TS]

00:49:34 ◼   ► of gravies and sauces that can be [TS]

00:49:35 ◼   ► deployed tactically as needed so much [TS]

00:49:38 ◼   ► some I'm gonna again just speak from my [TS]

00:49:41 ◼   ► experience but are you familiar with the [TS]

00:49:44 ◼   ► concept I'm sure you are but there are [TS]

00:49:46 ◼   ► there are also their blogs devoted to [TS]

00:49:49 ◼   ► this i'm almost sure i think i read [TS]

00:49:51 ◼   ► about them in Sunset magazine where you [TS]

00:49:56 ◼   ► basically use prepackaged foods as a [TS]

00:50:00 ◼   ► component in making what ultimately [TS]

00:50:03 ◼   ► looks like a home-cooked meal [TS]

00:50:06 ◼   ► mm you know what I mean like you decamp [TS]

00:50:08 ◼   ► some that sounds like something i do ya [TS]

00:50:10 ◼   ► UD can't some some some some fairly good [TS]

00:50:16 ◼   ► quality packaged stuff and then you add [TS]

00:50:19 ◼   ► your own you contribute your own fresh [TS]

00:50:22 ◼   ► ingredients to it and pretty soon it's [TS]

00:50:25 ◼   ► it's not clear where the processing for [TS]

00:50:28 ◼   ► the process unity is an artisanal [TS]

00:50:30 ◼   ► version of the the fifties campbell soup [TS]

00:50:32 ◼   ► recipes start out with this as a base as [TS]

00:50:34 ◼   ► a component as a building block [TS]

00:50:36 ◼   ► yeah but it's not the center of the meal [TS]

00:50:38 ◼   ► like they want you to know that you if [TS]

00:50:39 ◼   ► you put some french fried onions on top [TS]

00:50:41 ◼   ► of it it's it's grandma's it's grandma [TS]

00:50:44 ◼   ► screamed creamed spinach sauce but so [TS]

00:50:48 ◼   ► what i end up doing with that stuff is [TS]

00:50:49 ◼   ► first of all as you know my my first [TS]

00:50:52 ◼   ► policy is if you buy something make it [TS]

00:50:54 ◼   ► all don't reserve half of the package [TS]

00:50:57 ◼   ► for later make it all [TS]

00:50:59 ◼   ► yeah and so I would you i would use [TS]

00:51:03 ◼   ► those i'm looking at a bucket or a [TS]

00:51:06 ◼   ► terrine just that's right get your [TS]

00:51:08 ◼   ► biggest pot out start with this garbage [TS]

00:51:11 ◼   ► gravy that you have that you that cost [TS]

00:51:17 ◼   ► 59 cents but that you feel pot committed [TS]

00:51:19 ◼   ► to another you don't want to just throw [TS]

00:51:21 ◼   ► it away and then build on that with [TS]

00:51:25 ◼   ► actual gravy making techniques until you [TS]

00:51:28 ◼   ► have made a pot of gravy until you made [TS]

00:51:32 ◼   ► a poder gravy [TS]

00:51:33 ◼   ► oh it's good it's like Stone Soup you [TS]

00:51:35 ◼   ► start out with this little strange thing [TS]

00:51:36 ◼   ► you build and build and build that's [TS]

00:51:37 ◼   ► right you build your own [TS]

00:51:39 ◼   ► you keep adding you know those gravy's [TS]

00:51:40 ◼   ► that don't say add milk [TS]

00:51:42 ◼   ► they're wrong add milk and Grady hacker [TS]

00:51:45 ◼   ► John you know what you throw a little [TS]

00:51:47 ◼   ► bit of a gluten-free flour in there you [TS]

00:51:50 ◼   ► little bit of like what what did i see i [TS]

00:51:52 ◼   ► was a trader joes for the day and [TS]

00:51:53 ◼   ► there's cashew flower i don't know i [TS]

00:51:56 ◼   ► bought it i don't even know what it does [TS]

00:51:58 ◼   ► i don't know i wouldn't use that I look [TS]

00:52:00 ◼   ► at it I'm like a shoe flower what is it [TS]

00:52:02 ◼   ► looks like flower looks like corn flour [TS]

00:52:05 ◼   ► and it's just groundnuts fascinating [TS]

00:52:08 ◼   ► I feel like one of these days it's gonna [TS]

00:52:10 ◼   ► be a situation where like a brother like [TS]

00:52:13 ◼   ► a burglar comes into the house and I [TS]

00:52:15 ◼   ► just all I the only weapon i have is I'm [TS]

00:52:18 ◼   ► standing in the pantry for some reason [TS]

00:52:20 ◼   ► the only weapon i have is this thing of [TS]

00:52:21 ◼   ► cashew nut flour and I do you want to [TS]

00:52:23 ◼   ► waste the stroganoff on it [TS]

00:52:24 ◼   ► no I just throw it in his eyes piece [TS]

00:52:26 ◼   ► like an engine power and money just like [TS]

00:52:29 ◼   ► a lot of my Birds it smells like not my [TS]

00:52:31 ◼   ► nut allergy [TS]

00:52:33 ◼   ► yeah exactly falls to the floor gets [TS]

00:52:35 ◼   ► hides an electric shock but uh but yeah [TS]

00:52:38 ◼   ► I would build i would use those just as [TS]

00:52:40 ◼   ► starters and then build a much bigger [TS]

00:52:42 ◼   ► pot of stuff that the danger of that of [TS]

00:52:46 ◼   ► course being that if the thing turns out [TS]

00:52:48 ◼   ► to be terrible then you have a huge [TS]

00:52:49 ◼   ► thing of terrible instead of a small [TS]

00:52:52 ◼   ► thing of terror [TS]

00:52:52 ◼   ► you just made me realize that when I [TS]

00:52:55 ◼   ► think about the Windjammer the [TS]

00:52:57 ◼   ► all-you-can-eat restaurant on the cruise [TS]

00:52:58 ◼   ► the source the fount of gravy for our [TS]

00:53:01 ◼   ► for our cruise you know what I think it [TS]

00:53:03 ◼   ► is I think I'm really realizing you're [TS]

00:53:05 ◼   ► right i need to man up because i like to [TS]

00:53:07 ◼   ► think that it's about sauces and gravies [TS]

00:53:08 ◼   ► but you know what it's also about the [TS]

00:53:10 ◼   ► ease of the sauces and gravies all I had [TS]

00:53:13 ◼   ► to do was say goodbye to my family walk [TS]

00:53:15 ◼   ► away for 35 minutes and I could have [TS]

00:53:16 ◼   ► grave you on anything so i need to let [TS]

00:53:18 ◼   ► go i need to let go and let God and [TS]

00:53:19 ◼   ► understand that if I'm gonna make a [TS]

00:53:21 ◼   ► gravy i'm going to have to make a gravy [TS]

00:53:23 ◼   ► yes yes so you're gonna put everything [TS]

00:53:26 ◼   ► in there you know what one of the one of [TS]

00:53:28 ◼   ► the things that I always do is if it's a [TS]

00:53:29 ◼   ► if it's a thing that has like I made [TS]

00:53:33 ◼   ► some cabbage soup the other day this is [TS]

00:53:34 ◼   ► going to hear your that's going to blow [TS]

00:53:35 ◼   ► your mind I got to tell you about this [TS]

00:53:37 ◼   ► now i got the biggest pot I own which is [TS]

00:53:40 ◼   ► a pretty big pot and I just started [TS]

00:53:42 ◼   ► throwing cabbages in it and I'm thinking [TS]

00:53:46 ◼   ► to myself I [TS]

00:53:49 ◼   ► cabbage is not a that's not a thing that [TS]

00:53:53 ◼   ► I in my in the top of my mind that I [TS]

00:53:56 ◼   ► think I'm gonna like but it turns out [TS]

00:53:58 ◼   ► every time somebody put some kind of [TS]

00:54:00 ◼   ► cooked cabbage in front of me i always [TS]

00:54:02 ◼   ► enjoy it [TS]

00:54:02 ◼   ► mhm so I'm like about what goes with it [TS]

00:54:04 ◼   ► i mean when you get you get it with like [TS]

00:54:06 ◼   ► anything that's part of it [TS]

00:54:07 ◼   ► unicorn be with them pretty good yeah [TS]

00:54:09 ◼   ► but like cabbage shows up in things now [TS]

00:54:12 ◼   ► and and it doesn't look appealing it [TS]

00:54:15 ◼   ► always kind of looks like the skin of a [TS]

00:54:17 ◼   ► cadaver that that washed up on the shore [TS]

00:54:21 ◼   ► right the skin of a cadaver that the [TS]

00:54:22 ◼   ► police boat is pulling over with a hook [TS]

00:54:25 ◼   ► but it's actually really good so I'm [TS]

00:54:29 ◼   ► like you know what I people people cook [TS]

00:54:31 ◼   ► cabbages it's not that hard even the [TS]

00:54:32 ◼   ► Irish cook cabbages [TS]

00:54:34 ◼   ► yeah I'm even the simple library i'm [TS]

00:54:38 ◼   ► gonna make I'm gonna make cabbage soup [TS]

00:54:40 ◼   ► so I get this pot I put some chicken [TS]

00:54:41 ◼   ► stock in there i throw some onions and I [TS]

00:54:43 ◼   ► start cooking them i'd throw some leaks [TS]

00:54:46 ◼   ► in there I don't even know what a leak [TS]

00:54:47 ◼   ► is but I throw it in there and I start [TS]

00:54:49 ◼   ► cooking it and I put some put some [TS]

00:54:51 ◼   ► mildly your system can take this right i [TS]

00:54:53 ◼   ► put the put a bunch of uh onions leeks [TS]

00:54:56 ◼   ► and cabbage garlic and all and then some [TS]

00:55:00 ◼   ► LOL you really live alone and threw a [TS]

00:55:03 ◼   ► bunch of kom there just because [TS]

00:55:06 ◼   ► yeah and then I start throwing cabbages [TS]

00:55:08 ◼   ► and I throw a couple of cabbages in a [TS]

00:55:09 ◼   ► red cabbage and I'm I and it's cooking [TS]

00:55:14 ◼   ► i'm here to put keratin well on this one [TS]

00:55:17 ◼   ► I did not I stayed away from the carrots [TS]

00:55:19 ◼   ► but then I was like you know what this [TS]

00:55:22 ◼   ► needs pound hamburger so i made some [TS]

00:55:24 ◼   ► hamburger and I threw a pound of [TS]

00:55:25 ◼   ► hamburger in here and then I was like [TS]

00:55:27 ◼   ► fearless John was like you know what [TS]

00:55:29 ◼   ► this you know what else I got in the [TS]

00:55:30 ◼   ► freezer pound of ground turkey I don't [TS]

00:55:32 ◼   ► even know why I bought that cook up the [TS]

00:55:35 ◼   ► ground turkey throw it in and then I'm [TS]

00:55:38 ◼   ► looking at the 10 spices that I know [TS]

00:55:39 ◼   ► what they do and I'm like little little [TS]

00:55:41 ◼   ► Hungarian paprika can't hurt and then [TS]

00:55:46 ◼   ► all the things that you described write [TS]

00:55:47 ◼   ► some garlic salt some oh I like that on [TS]

00:55:51 ◼   ► the man spice i bought I bought one of [TS]

00:55:53 ◼   ► those things uh you know when you go and [TS]

00:55:54 ◼   ► you're like I think I think I'm gonna [TS]

00:55:56 ◼   ► cook something I want some celery and [TS]

00:55:58 ◼   ► the only the only serving size at the [TS]

00:56:01 ◼   ► grocery store has a [TS]

00:56:02 ◼   ► gallery is like a UH an acre of celery [TS]

00:56:06 ◼   ► right like if I think that's how they [TS]

00:56:08 ◼   ► get you a forest stand of celery you [TS]

00:56:10 ◼   ► need a stock and you have to buy buy [TS]

00:56:13 ◼   ► like a forest [TS]

00:56:14 ◼   ► yeah you by like 50 stocks this thing is [TS]

00:56:16 ◼   ► the thing is as big as a rugby ball and [TS]

00:56:19 ◼   ► so I was like you know what I'm i got a [TS]

00:56:22 ◼   ► big pot and so i take this whole celery [TS]

00:56:25 ◼   ► thing this whole like scrum of celery [TS]

00:56:28 ◼   ► and I chopped it into whatever have it [TS]

00:56:32 ◼   ► the pieces that you know are the size of [TS]

00:56:35 ◼   ► watch their the size of a pocket watch [TS]

00:56:38 ◼   ► and I throw this whole thing in there [TS]

00:56:40 ◼   ► and so pretty soon this this stuff and [TS]

00:56:44 ◼   ► then I'm just like okay fucking in the [TS]

00:56:45 ◼   ► hamburger and the turkey is in the pot [TS]

00:56:47 ◼   ► at this point in the pot oh yeah I cook [TS]

00:56:49 ◼   ► some mushrooms that through min and then [TS]

00:56:51 ◼   ► I'm like fuck you pot you figure it out [TS]

00:56:55 ◼   ► and so this stuff cooks on the stove for [TS]

00:56:59 ◼   ► I don't know for forever and everyone so [TS]

00:57:02 ◼   ► I walked by and look at it and I you [TS]

00:57:05 ◼   ► know and I had my curse at it but in a [TS]

00:57:08 ◼   ► friendly way [TS]

00:57:08 ◼   ► sure you're just being encouraging I'm [TS]

00:57:10 ◼   ► just like okay listen I know you guys [TS]

00:57:12 ◼   ► don't know each other [TS]

00:57:13 ◼   ► I know you haven't worked together [TS]

00:57:14 ◼   ► before but I believe in you I believe in [TS]

00:57:17 ◼   ► you [TS]

00:57:17 ◼   ► celery cabbage turkey pretty cute [TS]

00:57:21 ◼   ► yeah get it get it going so this thing [TS]

00:57:23 ◼   ► cooks and it turns into this incall [TS]

00:57:27 ◼   ► that's an incredible it has it's an [TS]

00:57:31 ◼   ► incredible consistency that I feel like [TS]

00:57:34 ◼   ► you could build an adobe house out of [TS]

00:57:37 ◼   ► and eating it is kind of like if you [TS]

00:57:42 ◼   ► close your eyes it's kind of like eating [TS]

00:57:44 ◼   ► spaghetti [TS]

00:57:45 ◼   ► it's so it's so Mouse substantial it's [TS]

00:57:48 ◼   ► like yeah it's just so al dente and you [TS]

00:57:53 ◼   ► know kind of crunchy and and and it's [TS]

00:57:56 ◼   ► got like too much flavor it's great [TS]

00:58:01 ◼   ► flavor [TS]

00:58:03 ◼   ► and so I've got this i've got this pot [TS]

00:58:05 ◼   ► in there that could they could feed [TS]

00:58:07 ◼   ► Napoleon's army marching into Russia and [TS]

00:58:11 ◼   ► I'm like this stuff will probably go all [TS]

00:58:14 ◼   ► the other thing was I had a pound of [TS]

00:58:15 ◼   ► sauerkraut threw that in there just no [TS]

00:58:17 ◼   ► no and I god you're mad and it's this [TS]

00:58:21 ◼   ► fantastic stuff that I don't think would [TS]

00:58:23 ◼   ► ever go bad right it would just get it [TS]

00:58:26 ◼   ► would just start tasting more and more [TS]

00:58:28 ◼   ► like itself until it became kimchi is [TS]

00:58:31 ◼   ► like a retired woman just because more [TS]

00:58:33 ◼   ► and more like itself every day he know [TS]

00:58:35 ◼   ► you know what wild women don't get the [TS]

00:58:36 ◼   ► blues and neither does my cabbage soup [TS]

00:58:38 ◼   ► cot dammit [TS]

00:58:39 ◼   ► Jesus Christ so anyway that you know the [TS]

00:58:43 ◼   ► first tasting though well your first [TS]

00:58:44 ◼   ► impression is this is Adobe quality [TS]

00:58:46 ◼   ► spaghetti soup it's got that substantial [TS]

00:58:49 ◼   ► it's heavy it's it's got too much flavor [TS]

00:58:51 ◼   ► in a good way [TS]

00:58:52 ◼   ► yeah i was i was trippin because I had [TS]

00:58:54 ◼   ► me i had committed so much material and [TS]

00:58:58 ◼   ► I'm and in that and that I mean material [TS]

00:59:01 ◼   ► miss ya right i had I I was like [TS]

00:59:03 ◼   ► discourses of resources i was a I was [TS]

00:59:08 ◼   ► Yossarian and I had our i was i was Bob [TS]

00:59:13 ◼   ► Newhart in catch-22 [TS]

00:59:16 ◼   ► I was committing material to this pot [TS]

00:59:19 ◼   ► and if it went bad like Seattle sewers [TS]

00:59:23 ◼   ► couldn't handle it i would have to take [TS]

00:59:24 ◼   ► it out of town i'd have to put it in the [TS]

00:59:26 ◼   ► trunk and drive it out of town and put [TS]

00:59:28 ◼   ► it in the forest somewhere and then a [TS]

00:59:30 ◼   ► year from now somebody would be flying [TS]

00:59:32 ◼   ► overhead and maybe like why is what [TS]

00:59:34 ◼   ► what's going on down there [TS]

00:59:35 ◼   ► send in the troops understand captain it [TS]

00:59:37 ◼   ► seems they're just not more delicious [TS]

00:59:38 ◼   ► but but as it was it was this fantastic [TS]

00:59:42 ◼   ► concoction that when i look at it it's [TS]

00:59:46 ◼   ► really it's really like eight pounds of [TS]

00:59:49 ◼   ► vegetables and a and a and a couple of [TS]

00:59:52 ◼   ► pounds of of a small form of animals [TS]

00:59:56 ◼   ► yeah like growth with some grass fed [TS]

00:59:58 ◼   ► turkeys or [TS]

00:59:58 ◼   ► turkeys or [TS]

01:00:00 ◼   ► never and so anyway I feel like I feel [TS]

01:00:03 ◼   ► like that's my latest triumph [TS]

01:00:05 ◼   ► that's amazing John yeah so what do you [TS]

01:00:07 ◼   ► do when you got to do when you get the [TS]

01:00:08 ◼   ► leftovers you what to do with them do [TS]

01:00:10 ◼   ► you put in freezer bags [TS]

01:00:11 ◼   ► well so here's the thing every person [TS]

01:00:13 ◼   ► who's been in my house in the last week [TS]

01:00:14 ◼   ► i have basically forced to eat the cup [TS]

01:00:16 ◼   ► of soup because I'm like listen the he [TS]

01:00:21 ◼   ► at the more soup i take out of this pot [TS]

01:00:23 ◼   ► the fuller the pot is it sits I've I've [TS]

01:00:26 ◼   ► I've unlocked some miraculous grunts [TS]

01:00:28 ◼   ► yeah I've unlock some metaphysical door [TS]

01:00:32 ◼   ► and i have created the ultimate endless [TS]

01:00:36 ◼   ► soup and so I'm just like try the soup [TS]

01:00:39 ◼   ► and everybody's like a Roderick make [TS]

01:00:41 ◼   ► cabbage soup i don't know i don't know [TS]

01:00:43 ◼   ► if i had but I'm but i won't take no for [TS]

01:00:45 ◼   ► an answer and I sit him down and I put [TS]

01:00:46 ◼   ► the soup in front of them [TS]

01:00:48 ◼   ► I'm like look at it and they're like oh [TS]

01:00:50 ◼   ► it's like it really is just there's not [TS]

01:00:54 ◼   ► a lot of color to it you know what I [TS]

01:00:56 ◼   ► mean like I didn't put there's nothing [TS]

01:00:58 ◼   ► in it that isn't it sounds like [TS]

01:01:01 ◼   ► something you would use to like fill a [TS]

01:01:02 ◼   ► hole in your driveway right away it [TS]

01:01:04 ◼   ► looks up but then everybody tries it and [TS]

01:01:07 ◼   ► everyone agrees that he was that it's a [TS]

01:01:09 ◼   ► that it's a revolution in their mind i'm [TS]

01:01:11 ◼   ► ashamed I'm ashamed because i am [TS]

01:01:14 ◼   ► cleaving to the convenience even as I'm [TS]

01:01:17 ◼   ► filled with desire and in craving [TS]

01:01:19 ◼   ► gravy's I can feel myself like being [TS]

01:01:22 ◼   ► pulled in that direction of just wanting [TS]

01:01:23 ◼   ► the ease and your story your story of [TS]

01:01:26 ◼   ► adventure really in cooking is is [TS]

01:01:28 ◼   ► inspiring me and humiliating [TS]

01:01:31 ◼   ► well but I mean it is it is a little bit [TS]

01:01:32 ◼   ► of a difference between being a bachelor [TS]

01:01:34 ◼   ► and and being a like a househusband in [TS]

01:01:38 ◼   ► the sense that if I if I made a [TS]

01:01:42 ◼   ► catastrophe [TS]

01:01:43 ◼   ► I could slink out into the night and [TS]

01:01:49 ◼   ► leave it by an abandoned couch somewhere [TS]

01:01:51 ◼   ► i think that my Skeeter uh-huh [TS]

01:01:53 ◼   ► put it over by skater right he probably [TS]

01:01:55 ◼   ► you know a gary would probably try to [TS]

01:01:58 ◼   ► use it for gas [TS]

01:01:59 ◼   ► you just keep calling in the middle [TS]

01:02:01 ◼   ► indistinct god damn it [TS]

01:02:03 ◼   ► but but you know there are no [TS]

01:02:06 ◼   ► consequences right nobody's going to [TS]

01:02:07 ◼   ► come open the refrigerator and say we're [TS]

01:02:09 ◼   ► all the food go dancing like no one's [TS]

01:02:10 ◼   ► watching Joe that's exactly right [TS]

01:02:13 ◼   ► so and the thing is sometimes the the [TS]

01:02:16 ◼   ► race goes to the bolt up you know and in [TS]

01:02:21 ◼   ► a way every time i do this i feel like i [TS]

01:02:23 ◼   ► am the napoleon i am invading the Russia [TS]

01:02:26 ◼   ► of the unknown right yeah I do [TS]

01:02:30 ◼   ► I'm invading the rush of the unknown and [TS]

01:02:32 ◼   ► every time I could lose 700 thousand [TS]

01:02:34 ◼   ► troops to frostbite [TS]

01:02:36 ◼   ► yes and sometimes i do east bracket just [TS]

01:02:40 ◼   ► keep moving moving moving ghost ghost [TS]

01:02:41 ◼   ► ghost [TS]

01:02:42 ◼   ► hmm and then sometimes I am Napoleon [TS]

01:02:46 ◼   ► that conquered Russia em right and I [TS]

01:02:48 ◼   ► come back and I come back wondering why [TS]

01:02:51 ◼   ► I ever thought to do that because it was [TS]

01:02:53 ◼   ► a bad idea even if you had even if you [TS]

01:02:55 ◼   ► conquer Russia it's a bad idea and I [TS]

01:02:57 ◼   ► gotta run it and you gotta run it [TS]

01:02:59 ◼   ► that's exactly right then you gotta run [TS]

01:03:00 ◼   ► Russia and that's what i'm doing right [TS]

01:03:02 ◼   ► now i'm running I conquered russia i [TS]

01:03:04 ◼   ► gotta have it in a pot in my [TS]

01:03:06 ◼   ► refrigerator and everybody that comes by [TS]

01:03:09 ◼   ► gets a little you know it's a little [TS]

01:03:10 ◼   ► taste of the Ukraine mr. you i would be [TS]

01:03:18 ◼   ► shitting non-stop if I were you [TS]