Roderick on the Line

Ep. 134: "A Minimum of Eels"


00:00:00   this episode of Roderick on the line is [TS]

00:00:01   sponsored by cards against humanity they [TS]

00:00:04   asked us not to read an ad [TS]

00:00:06   hey just enjoy the show [TS]

00:00:07   [Music] [TS]

00:00:11   I'm Merlin hi John [TS]

00:00:15   I didn't answer like I normally do by [TS]

00:00:17   just saying hello hello [TS]

00:00:20   because I knew it was you yeah it's [TS]

00:00:22   always time coming stupid sometimes [TS]

00:00:24   sometimes I'm not sure even though it [TS]

00:00:27   says Merlin some people use skype as a [TS]

00:00:29   social network and that troubles me you [TS]

00:00:32   know every time i log onto my computer [TS]

00:00:33   now every time I open skype it has a [TS]

00:00:37   status report on there from Brett [TS]

00:00:39   terpstra oh yeah uh I don't know why [TS]

00:00:43   skype thinks that that that i'm [TS]

00:00:47   wondering what Brett's doing everyday i [TS]

00:00:49   do i yeah i think I get that too [TS]

00:00:51   I get that too and I find out it's [TS]

00:00:53   mostly everybody like me angrily [TS]

00:00:55   announcing to please not bother them [TS]

00:00:57   because they're on skype [TS]

00:00:58   yeah or yeah it's exactly it's like I'm [TS]

00:01:00   if I'm here I'm eating breakfast [TS]

00:01:02   sometimes it tells me it's someone's [TS]

00:01:04   birthday [TS]

00:01:05   oh yeah yeah no I don't want to have [TS]

00:01:07   another social network [TS]

00:01:09   I really don't i don't want to have the [TS]

00:01:11   ones i have oh I know and this is what I [TS]

00:01:13   I feel particularly unplug from reality [TS]

00:01:17   because I've for years I've used skype [TS]

00:01:20   if you look at the total number of hours [TS]

00:01:22   well over ninety five percent have been [TS]

00:01:24   for exactly one thing which is rewarding [TS]

00:01:25   podcast with other people and then very [TS]

00:01:28   occasionally like especially somebody [TS]

00:01:30   like Australia or something must have a [TS]

00:01:33   phone call it's easier and cheaper is [TS]

00:01:35   correct I would never I would never [TS]

00:01:37   think of skype is a phone in my hand and [TS]

00:01:40   I would certainly never think of it you [TS]

00:01:41   know as i get the occasional invitation [TS]

00:01:43   to give you get this you get random [TS]

00:01:46   people going like hey let me access you [TS]

00:01:48   on skype like why would I do that [TS]

00:01:50   it's like somebody coming up to your [TS]

00:01:53   during dinnertime knock on the screen [TS]

00:01:55   door and make a gesture like they're [TS]

00:01:57   holding a key movie and I just get a [TS]

00:01:59   button that if we give me a quick tup [TS]

00:02:03   think you know we don't be a dick if I [TS]

00:02:07   was living in a post-apocalyptic [TS]

00:02:09   landscape if and i can and i came over i [TS]

00:02:13   came over a rise in a meadow and I saw [TS]

00:02:16   you across on an opposite Hill then you [TS]

00:02:19   started waving to me [TS]

00:02:21   i would i would turn and walk down the [TS]

00:02:25   other side of the hill and pretend I had [TS]

00:02:26   not seen you might be regular uh-huh [TS]

00:02:29   no not you know you I would wave at [TS]

00:02:32   least a little a given yeah that's going [TS]

00:02:35   as you know I am [TS]

00:02:37   my computer is running 10.6 point eight [TS]

00:02:39   then why did you say that don't say that [TS]

00:02:41   hahaha the second reason for you not to [TS]

00:02:45   say that might have to cut all that out [TS]

00:02:46   you can take that out ya know tell me [TS]

00:02:49   what are the reasons I'm gonna get a lot [TS]

00:02:50   of angry hate mail from from from people [TS]

00:02:54   from John Cirque use' because i'm not [TS]

00:02:57   running is a hit i'm not running by apps [TS]

00:03:00   correctly I don't want to get into it [TS]

00:03:02   John ok Boyle step 0 we should never [TS]

00:03:05   talk about computers but the other [TS]

00:03:07   problem is that that's a very very very [TS]

00:03:10   very old operating system that's [TS]

00:03:13   probably not getting security of cake [TS]

00:03:15   so you basically just made some double [TS]

00:03:17   your keys and through the ihit sighs cic [TS]

00:03:20   hello you're saying you're saying that I [TS]

00:03:24   am vulnerable that people are going to [TS]

00:03:25   come into my computer I'm saying [TS]

00:03:27   somebody could give you a copy 23 of [TS]

00:03:28   threes and you never come out your that [TS]

00:03:29   vulnerable [TS]

00:03:30   yeah I don't kill me feeling pretty [TS]

00:03:32   vulnerable yeah me too i didn't realize [TS]

00:03:35   so you're saying I've left the back door [TS]

00:03:36   open [TS]

00:03:37   well I don't know you personally like a [TS]

00:03:40   10-point 6.8 has been stable operating [TS]

00:03:44   system for me in what sense it's been [TS]

00:03:48   it's been a very in the sense yes in the [TS]

00:03:51   sense that every single time in the last [TS]

00:03:54   eight years that i have taken apples [TS]

00:03:56   advice and downloaded a new operating [TS]

00:03:58   system it has bricked whatever device it [TS]

00:04:01   it i was trying to improve and just [TS]

00:04:04   turned it into a just a flying piece of [TS]

00:04:06   shit [TS]

00:04:07   yeah just a fucking ass potato mmm yeah [TS]

00:04:10   and so I don't I don't download new [TS]

00:04:13   operating systems because they seem like [TS]

00:04:15   jokes they seem like they seem like [TS]

00:04:17   elaborate tricks that Apple is pulling [TS]

00:04:19   to make me buy a new product [TS]

00:04:22   oh we've got a new operating system and [TS]

00:04:25   it's gonna completely fry the thing that [TS]

00:04:27   you bought even the thing that you [TS]

00:04:29   bought three months ago [TS]

00:04:30   it's going to just slow it down bog it [TS]

00:04:33   down now it's going to get [TS]

00:04:34   the flickr it's gonna just like fuck you [TS]

00:04:37   people fool me twice shame on you [TS]

00:04:41   a mind is it wasted thing ass potatoes [TS]

00:04:46   well um i wish i could disagree with you [TS]

00:04:52   haha it's true it's true and you know [TS]

00:04:55   he's a little it's getting more true is [TS]

00:04:57   the problem it used to be at you know [TS]

00:04:58   who cares when we talk about computers [TS]

00:05:00   but you have to be at yours and eat [TS]

00:05:02   boobs or maybe we should get Dan Harmon [TS]

00:05:05   on the phone or whoever you're doing [TS]

00:05:07   other podcast with antenna [TS]

00:05:10   yeah I suggested Joe be careful i saw [TS]

00:05:17   your friend Joel McHale on television [TS]

00:05:20   twice yesterday he's on television a lot [TS]

00:05:22   now we were in a hotel room which is the [TS]

00:05:24   only time that we see TV that regular TV [TS]

00:05:26   he was on that that show that's like [TS]

00:05:30   talk soup is it talks sooo in proc soup [TS]

00:05:32   is a top zip is still talk soon [TS]

00:05:33   it's very much like talk soup it's [TS]

00:05:35   called talk soup talks to buy used to [TS]

00:05:37   watch that was a great career was on [TS]

00:05:38   that show [TS]

00:05:39   yeah uh-huh that was probably when [TS]

00:05:41   you're operating system came out using [TS]

00:05:43   mm you know there was a glitch in the [TS]

00:05:47   White House with you about told Mikael [TS]

00:05:49   is that he really is that tall he looks [TS]

00:05:52   like he's tall and he's talk turns out [TS]

00:05:54   he was also in um he was in a movie or [TS]

00:05:59   TV show we watched and I can't remember [TS]

00:06:02   what that sounds reasonable but he had a [TS]

00:06:06   bit part as a as a balding man also [TS]

00:06:10   heard Rob Corddry doing ads for pizza [TS]

00:06:12   hut that was kinda cool [TS]

00:06:13   he's balding man he's balding man other [TS]

00:06:15   balding news [TS]

00:06:16   a nic do know Nick funiest thing is that [TS]

00:06:20   comedian it is a comedian and a good guy [TS]

00:06:23   a guy that I that I that I know a little [TS]

00:06:25   bit and he is now doing those honda [TS]

00:06:27   commercials I see him on TV all the time [TS]

00:06:29   about that and I go ahead and look at [TS]

00:06:31   that there's a guy making money Todd [TS]

00:06:33   Barry he's bald right quad barriers ball [TS]

00:06:36   would be more all is a baby [TS]

00:06:38   oh he is making a comment like the [TS]

00:06:42   comedy podcast circuit there's so many [TS]

00:06:44   comedy podcast on [TS]

00:06:46   just how many podcasts he doesn't [TS]

00:06:48   comment he does apart he does the park [TS]

00:06:50   i've been on his podcast and KL he does [TS]

00:06:53   a podcast where he sits you across the [TS]

00:06:54   table from him [TS]

00:06:56   kitchen table across the kitchen table [TS]

00:06:57   and there's one microphone [TS]

00:07:00   yeah it sounds like it sounds like he's [TS]

00:07:02   a recording it on like an easy-bake oven [TS]

00:07:06   he's got a he's got a plug-and-play [TS]

00:07:09   microphone that's a common thing among [TS]

00:07:11   company party you know I'm not a podcast [TS]

00:07:13   quality advocate I don't really care but [TS]

00:07:16   there are some where it really does [TS]

00:07:18   sound like they're recording on phone [TS]

00:07:20   you know you and I are sitting across [TS]

00:07:22   the country from each other right now [TS]

00:07:24   and not really not really across the [TS]

00:07:26   country beyond what up and down the [TS]

00:07:28   country [TS]

00:07:28   yeah and we both have really nice [TS]

00:07:31   microphones we've made investments in [TS]

00:07:33   the quality of the sound of our hot [TS]

00:07:35   chest don't get me involved in this is [TS]

00:07:38   like this i don't know what i want to [TS]

00:07:40   talk about is having a lot like Todd [TS]

00:07:41   berries microphone is basically just [TS]

00:07:43   it's it's just searching the airwaves [TS]

00:07:46   for the sound of fire engines but he's [TS]

00:07:51   getting a police scanner but for how [TS]

00:07:53   many [TS]

00:07:54   yeah it doesn't well it does pick up [TS]

00:07:55   human voices but if there's a siren or a [TS]

00:07:58   garbage truck that's what it really [TS]

00:07:59   wants to that's what they call a [TS]

00:08:01   condenser mic condenser mics pick up a [TS]

00:08:04   lot said the guy who has a train going [TS]

00:08:05   by his house every eight minutes [TS]

00:08:07   ding-ding-ding ringing hello [TS]

00:08:10   anyway uh yeah computers you know and [TS]

00:08:13   the thing is nobody cares but the other [TS]

00:08:15   thing is you know I think it's always [TS]

00:08:16   just what's worse in some ways with the [TS]

00:08:20   phones with the all those well here's [TS]

00:08:23   why because if you're still using a [TS]

00:08:24   computer you know stuff about computers [TS]

00:08:26   probably but there are a lot of people [TS]

00:08:28   whose entry into the Apple world is [TS]

00:08:31   through an iOS device and so they went [TS]

00:08:33   to know what the heck I'll get one of [TS]

00:08:35   these 16 gigabyte iphones and and of [TS]

00:08:38   course it's you know not obviated within [TS]

00:08:40   a couple years but it's not nearly as [TS]

00:08:42   good [TS]

00:08:43   after two years when you go to install [TS]

00:08:45   the iOS update on it goes then this [TS]

00:08:48   isn't big enough you have to go [TS]

00:08:50   connected to the computer or something [TS]

00:08:52   only your photos row [TS]

00:08:55   Oh to be your photos you know the funny [TS]

00:09:00   thing is I go into I go into itunes now [TS]

00:09:02   to manage my phone here we go into [TS]

00:09:06   itunes going to manage my phone to my [TS]

00:09:07   itunes is on a computer that's running [TS]

00:09:09   10.6 phone 8 and I'm in there trying to [TS]

00:09:13   manage the phone and all the sudden it [TS]

00:09:15   didn't use to do this but you know down [TS]

00:09:16   it's got the little bar down below that [TS]

00:09:18   says like how much of your phone is used [TS]

00:09:20   for certain things [TS]

00:09:21   it's like photos were thing music [TS]

00:09:23   getting other down there everything and [TS]

00:09:25   then there's this other and it's like [TS]

00:09:27   it's like forty percent of the phone is [TS]

00:09:31   used for other you cannot access what [TS]

00:09:33   other is or tell what they differentiate [TS]

00:09:35   what other is you cannot change what [TS]

00:09:37   other is yeah and uh and so it's so [TS]

00:09:42   again it's like the diagnostic tool that [TS]

00:09:44   tells you [TS]

00:09:45   diagnostics networking that's paid you [TS]

00:09:48   click on it sligo you would you like to [TS]

00:09:49   run a diagnostic yes I would [TS]

00:09:51   well let's go through 14 steps to tell [TS]

00:09:54   you to unplug your router you know it's [TS]

00:09:58   just like every time I make the mistake [TS]

00:10:00   to run that diagnostic tool I'm just [TS]

00:10:01   leave that diagnostic it's like it's [TS]

00:10:03   like a fuck it's an it's another joke [TS]

00:10:05   app somebody down in cupertino was like [TS]

00:10:07   haha it's at you know what it is it's [TS]

00:10:10   like that it's like the mercury [TS]

00:10:11   astronauts they gave them a lever that [TS]

00:10:13   wasn't connected to anything and they [TS]

00:10:15   said now you're steering the spaceship [TS]

00:10:17   we're going to put a window in the side [TS]

00:10:19   of the can [TS]

00:10:20   we're going to give you a lever that [TS]

00:10:22   makes a ding sound now you're a pilot [TS]

00:10:24   your pilot and that's what Apple is [TS]

00:10:26   doing with all this garbage [TS]

00:10:28   it's like oh you want to be a pilot you [TS]

00:10:30   want to be a pilot here it's it's the [TS]

00:10:32   it's the ANR rep button on the mixing [TS]

00:10:36   console call anytime [TS]

00:10:38   it's the it's the side like turn the [TS]

00:10:40   suck button-down fuck you [TS]

00:10:44   yeah yeah but you know you got [TS]

00:10:46   alternative she could go and get a [TS]

00:10:47   Chromebook make it a dell pc but guy you [TS]

00:10:51   know I told you write the dell tried to [TS]

00:10:53   send me a one of the hot new oh yeah [TS]

00:10:56   right yeah story [TS]

00:10:58   yeah they were there were some person [TS]

00:10:59   from dell was like hey you know you seem [TS]

00:11:02   to be a thought leader would like to [TS]

00:11:03   send you one of our hot new laptops and [TS]

00:11:06   I was like oh yeah well sure but but I [TS]

00:11:08   don't want the one that you're sending [TS]

00:11:09   everybody else i want you to give me the [TS]

00:11:10   real hot one and she was like well i'll [TS]

00:11:13   have to check with the up the [TS]

00:11:15   mucky-mucks and she came back she was [TS]

00:11:16   like you've been approved to get the [TS]

00:11:18   real hot one and then I just never [TS]

00:11:20   replied your email [TS]

00:11:22   nice that's all you needed your computer [TS]

00:11:24   shoot she was meeting you could have [TS]

00:11:25   gotten one that brought me a couple of [TS]

00:11:27   times she was like hello sir i was like [TS]

00:11:29   me now I don't want those it's just [TS]

00:11:31   gonna be another thing that I don't know [TS]

00:11:32   I don't know how to plug in [TS]

00:11:33   yeah yeah but I'm a friend had dinner [TS]

00:11:36   with a friend the other day and he had [TS]

00:11:37   one of these pieces ma'am piece of [TS]

00:11:40   Microsoft phones all I've heard those [TS]

00:11:43   that said to fund the microsoft makes [TS]

00:11:44   you had said it's a I think they're out [TS]

00:11:46   in the wild you can actually go out and [TS]

00:11:48   get one [TS]

00:11:48   sure it's a big phone or whatever you [TS]

00:11:50   can bring people on it and then you turn [TS]

00:11:52   into later and it's like it's got it [TS]

00:11:55   looks like a microsoft store a mi with [TS]

00:11:59   him every time we walk by the store that [TS]

00:12:05   has the big bespoke sign it every time [TS]

00:12:08   we walk by the microsoft store is not [TS]

00:12:09   empty but there are so many people [TS]

00:12:12   working there and it's a look tonight [TS]

00:12:15   was the person it I they outnumber the [TS]

00:12:17   customers yeah but yes we'll get the [TS]

00:12:19   Apple stores like a who concert like I [TS]

00:12:21   don't even go in there it's just so [TS]

00:12:23   ridiculous this phone had you know it [TS]

00:12:27   has those little tiles [TS]

00:12:28   yeah you know what I'm talking tom i [TS]

00:12:31   think was with hobbes they called monads [TS]

00:12:32   microsoft was the one that invented the [TS]

00:12:36   window is it it's that right yeah and [TS]

00:12:39   the file they working on a minute you're [TS]

00:12:42   well they didn't have computer files [TS]

00:12:45   until they were literally invented by [TS]

00:12:46   Microsoft that's right or I mean I mean [TS]

00:12:49   maybe maybe windows were invented by you [TS]

00:12:51   some guy in a hewlett-packard lab yeah [TS]

00:12:53   but that guy is dead now [TS]

00:12:55   yes buried in a field and Microsoft just [TS]

00:13:00   saying if they got files and windows be [TS]

00:13:02   creating some unmarked grapes [TS]

00:13:04   I think they may have done they may have [TS]

00:13:06   done but so this little thing so he's [TS]

00:13:08   holding this phone up and it's very [TS]

00:13:10   light [TS]

00:13:11   it's much lighter than iphone his mother [TS]

00:13:13   nothin it [TS]

00:13:14   where's myself works great as long as [TS]

00:13:18   you don't use it [TS]

00:13:20   nothing on at those pictures way a lot [TS]

00:13:22   and it's very shiny but the little uh [TS]

00:13:27   icons were just slightly animated oh [TS]

00:13:35   yeah so that they are flipping as you're [TS]

00:13:38   looking at the phone the static phone [TS]

00:13:39   you're doing nothing to it and it's like [TS]

00:13:41   it's like slide showing pictures of [TS]

00:13:45   people that you know on linkedin and but [TS]

00:13:47   like a little game and scoots around and [TS]

00:13:49   stuff yeah stuff scooting around some [TS]

00:13:51   stuff is fucking moving around on your [TS]

00:13:53   phone and you're not doing anything and [TS]

00:13:55   I was like I I hate this thing already i [TS]

00:13:57   hate that you have it sir [TS]

00:13:59   sitting across from her people who [TS]

00:14:02   really like is it called that the Metro [TS]

00:14:03   interface I've heard some people talking [TS]

00:14:04   about and they really think it's kind of [TS]

00:14:06   cool that it's a new take I guess you [TS]

00:14:10   know i'm not i'm not i mean i've never [TS]

00:14:12   seen one so i don't i don't know i don't [TS]

00:14:15   want shit dancing around on my equipment [TS]

00:14:17   ok now what about you on your on your [TS]

00:14:19   own into your cell phone do you have a [TS]

00:14:22   ir s 7 do you have like with the [TS]

00:14:24   background moves around and stuff like [TS]

00:14:25   that the background moves around behind [TS]

00:14:28   you people you probably have iOS three [TS]

00:14:30   on there but the arm but in the in the [TS]

00:14:33   penultimate release they added this [TS]

00:14:36   thing i think it was in seven yeah they [TS]

00:14:37   added this thing like a parallax view so [TS]

00:14:40   like if you on your lock screen in the [TS]

00:14:42   motion detector it makes the stars you [TS]

00:14:45   know have depth to them like you move [TS]

00:14:47   things and things in the background or [TS]

00:14:48   further away and things like that i turn [TS]

00:14:50   it off on day 10 I turned that off [TS]

00:14:52   immediately I uh it was not only making [TS]

00:14:54   me seasick but it was another thing [TS]

00:14:56   where I was like hey phone [TS]

00:14:58   yeah what happened such a good fucking [TS]

00:15:00   time yeah I know right like devote your [TS]

00:15:02   energy to doing the three things i asked [TS]

00:15:05   you to do need my boyfriend crashing at [TS]

00:15:07   thirty-six percent haha yeah exactly [TS]

00:15:10   you know like fuck off what I what I [TS]

00:15:13   need to do is continue to run after the [TS]

00:15:17   plane lands while I'm trying to arrange [TS]

00:15:19   a ride [TS]

00:15:20   yep you know I want to use you [TS]

00:15:22   throughout the flight and then when I [TS]

00:15:23   land I do not want you to die [TS]

00:15:26   the second I try to stick to contact the [TS]

00:15:29   person who's gonna pick me up [TS]

00:15:30   double response is ok it sounds like you [TS]

00:15:33   want a better phone i do not want your [TS]

00:15:37   00 let me talk to someone to make my [TS]

00:15:39   battery on phone okay later [TS]

00:15:42   operator operator alright i'm passing [TS]

00:15:44   you on to a thinner phone requests and [TS]

00:15:48   he said it and so every time I look down [TS]

00:15:50   at the phone and it's having a better [TS]

00:15:52   time that I'm having makes me want to [TS]

00:15:55   seriously go down to cupertino and find [TS]

00:15:59   whatever person in a in a lumber sexual [TS]

00:16:02   like beard contest is sitting behind [TS]

00:16:05   their fucking super computers shoes and [TS]

00:16:10   is like tappity tap tap tap tap tap tap [TS]

00:16:13   to I've got a great idea why don't we [TS]

00:16:14   make everybody have to swipe the [TS]

00:16:16   opposite direction that we always train [TS]

00:16:18   them to swipe here we go [TS]

00:16:20   hey guys new idea let's make it thinner [TS]

00:16:23   is it did we just become a five-by-five [TS]

00:16:26   podcast no oh um and so that's [TS]

00:16:30   complicated [TS]

00:16:32   yeah yeah i yeah so mad [TS]

00:16:37   yeah yeah I get mad too i it's it's it's [TS]

00:16:41   expensive not even costly it's expensive [TS]

00:16:44   it's expensive to stay caught up and [TS]

00:16:46   it's very time-consuming to do [TS]

00:16:48   everything right is the problem [TS]

00:16:50   so if you're doing stuff like running [TS]

00:16:51   back ups an all time in of course it's a [TS]

00:16:52   you know it's a nerd article of faith to [TS]

00:16:54   constantly you know max planed everybody [TS]

00:16:59   about how often they need to be doing [TS]

00:17:00   backups but you do but to do that takes [TS]

00:17:03   a lot of time it takes money to expand [TS]

00:17:05   with and I don't know I that people have [TS]

00:17:08   been now they're charging you for all [TS]

00:17:10   that right it's just like I had a h87 [TS]

00:17:14   think of the mail the other day they [TS]

00:17:15   were like would you like to for a [TS]

00:17:17   nominal fee we are going to we are now [TS]

00:17:21   offering a home alarm system roof and I [TS]

00:17:25   was like tell me more AT&T you've been [TS]

00:17:27   so reliable [TS]

00:17:29   yes and so dependable for me the last 10 [TS]

00:17:32   years that i've been using your service [TS]

00:17:33   tell me more about your home alarm [TS]

00:17:35   system [TS]

00:17:36   I get more 18 teams and they were like [TS]

00:17:38   oh well let you change that your [TS]

00:17:40   thermostat you know it's one of these [TS]

00:17:42   matter how he programs where it's like [TS]

00:17:43   you set out in your set out in your [TS]

00:17:45   driveway because you can't get your [TS]

00:17:47   phone for Mike what a perfect going to [TS]

00:17:50   store your fucking phone died and so [TS]

00:17:53   you're sitting with the engine running [TS]

00:17:55   trying to charge it up so you can make [TS]

00:17:56   you a lot on etsy me know how your [TS]

00:17:59   thermostat is again going 224 and so I'm [TS]

00:18:04   like tell me more so eighties like oh [TS]

00:18:06   yeah well we can you know you can you [TS]

00:18:08   can look up cameras all around your [TS]

00:18:10   house you can argue that really feeds [TS]

00:18:12   into your paranoia and you can look at [TS]

00:18:15   it all in the beginning you can trust us [TS]

00:18:17   to do that [TS]

00:18:18   well first sure you do you think [TS]

00:18:20   anything about AT&T it's that it's [TS]

00:18:23   cost-effective not reliable and worthy [TS]

00:18:25   of your trust trust us with your data [TS]

00:18:28   hmm and then so I'm like okay AT&T so [TS]

00:18:32   far [TS]

00:18:33   sounds good i'm hooked now let me read [TS]

00:18:36   the fine print and every single day [TS]

00:18:38   every single thing they were like 40 0 [TS]

00:18:40   40 bucks introduce the hoskanners stuff [TS]

00:18:43   yeah and then every single thing was [TS]

00:18:45   like well it's a hundred and forty [TS]

00:18:46   dollars set up charge and ten dollars a [TS]

00:18:49   month and it was like so for this [TS]

00:18:51   service that you're profiting when all [TS]

00:18:55   is said and done it's like 500 bucks to [TS]

00:18:58   get in and then it's another one of [TS]

00:19:01   these credit-card charges that ship [TS]

00:19:03   going to be a hundred and ninety dollars [TS]

00:19:05   a month for this service and all of [TS]

00:19:08   these are parts that I go to costco [TS]

00:19:10   probably and and radio shack and gin up [TS]

00:19:14   right and you don't have to use their [TS]

00:19:16   busted-ass apps to do it i mean there's [TS]

00:19:18   so many I mean there is a lot of like [TS]

00:19:20   you know kinda cool hipster things like [TS]

00:19:21   that we've got a camera that for that [TS]

00:19:22   purpose but you know they're pretty well [TS]

00:19:24   you can buy some pretty nice stuff you [TS]

00:19:26   pay a little bit more you host it [TS]

00:19:28   yourself you do your own thing and [TS]

00:19:29   you're not relying on there like I mean [TS]

00:19:32   when I go to visit with friends and [TS]

00:19:33   family and actually you know I gotta say [TS]

00:19:35   the comcast DVR has gotten a lot better [TS]

00:19:38   but so much of the stuff you get from [TS]

00:19:40   these companies that they want you to [TS]

00:19:41   use all the time is so fucked up looking [TS]

00:19:44   haha [TS]

00:19:44   oh-ho I ok so i mean you know i i'm not [TS]

00:19:49   an academic but if I were going to try [TS]

00:19:51   and teach some kind of a 101 modern [TS]

00:19:53   consuming course it would involve [TS]

00:19:55   basically this what you need to [TS]

00:19:57   understand this is not a bad thing not a [TS]

00:20:00   good thing is just a reality thing is [TS]

00:20:02   that every company out there wants to [TS]

00:20:04   find a way what they want what they [TS]

00:20:07   really want is to find a way to charge [TS]

00:20:09   you something every month for something [TS]

00:20:11   that cost them almost nothing to do [TS]

00:20:13   ok now that's I don't mean that as a [TS]

00:20:15   judgment but just whenever you see [TS]

00:20:16   anything and it was like hey look at [TS]

00:20:18   this you get a free samsung tablet ok [TS]

00:20:20   you get the free samsung tablet because [TS]

00:20:23   you're signing up for this fucking [TS]

00:20:24   xfinity package that requires no effort [TS]

00:20:27   on comcast part and now you're signed up [TS]

00:20:29   for a year or two of that it's just that [TS]

00:20:31   you know if you that you know it's [TS]

00:20:32   special offers all the way down [TS]

00:20:34   it's pretty much always going to end up [TS]

00:20:35   with something where you get charged [TS]

00:20:37   1995 a month in perpetuity didn't [TS]

00:20:41   realize it and cancel it [TS]

00:20:42   they're like Remora writing like an eel [TS]

00:20:45   if you have the ones but then tell the [TS]

00:20:48   Sharks a big stop on the shark and the [TS]

00:20:51   shark swimming around he's got like 40 [TS]

00:20:53   fucking heels and quick and easy he's [TS]

00:20:56   got thirty five fucking years and when [TS]

00:20:58   Jesus Christ saying is I'm trying to get [TS]

00:21:01   through life with a minimum heels [TS]

00:21:02   sucking on me that is a lot of drag and [TS]

00:21:05   well it's a lot of drag and you know [TS]

00:21:07   your blood is just going through its [TS]

00:21:09   just cycling through the heel to right [TS]

00:21:11   it's just it's another they basically [TS]

00:21:13   like they basically turn themselves in [TS]

00:21:15   your got a lineout recycle deal blood [TS]

00:21:17   your own blood through and he'll [TS]

00:21:18   basically it's just running through the [TS]

00:21:20   seal but because he was taking your [TS]

00:21:22   blood and your vitamins and it's [TS]

00:21:23   replacing it with saliva and and i think [TS]

00:21:27   i think that maybe like an American [TS]

00:21:29   maritime supertrain like a mild narcotic [TS]

00:21:32   in the saliva but what I do not want is [TS]

00:21:36   any heels and I look around at that look [TS]

00:21:38   around at all the people that are good [TS]

00:21:39   that are going through the world now and [TS]

00:21:41   I think how many fucking heels on you [TS]

00:21:43   have 40 years on you you're not even [TS]

00:21:45   thinking about it you just think it's [TS]

00:21:47   the just normal life this is just the [TS]

00:21:49   cost of doing business but every one of [TS]

00:21:51   them is just fucking and sucking your [TS]

00:21:53   vitamins and have paid for i started [TS]

00:21:56   doing something now I'm not saying I've [TS]

00:21:58   gotten good at this but is very [TS]

00:21:59   informative is the the app that I use [TS]

00:22:01   for you know my version of quick and [TS]

00:22:04   let's say it automatically i go and i [TS]

00:22:08   manually indicate ok this is a recurring [TS]

00:22:10   web subscription or a recurring [TS]

00:22:12   subscription of some kind [TS]

00:22:13   every time I have the presence of mind I [TS]

00:22:15   say okay from now on always flag these [TS]

00:22:17   as recurring West description coo 95 a [TS]

00:22:19   month no big deal [TS]

00:22:21   seven dollars a month no big deal no big [TS]

00:22:23   deal 2995 a month no big deal or [TS]

00:22:26   whatever or for that service no 44 [TS]

00:22:28   either annual things like you know my [TS]

00:22:31   Apple iTunes Match service which [TS]

00:22:34   actually really like for the money I [TS]

00:22:35   think it's really good but it is another [TS]

00:22:37   couple you know dollar signs [TS]

00:22:40   so then I go and look at a report of [TS]

00:22:42   everything that i bought in the last [TS]

00:22:43   five years that has that little [TS]

00:22:45   subscription recurring subscription [TS]

00:22:47   flagon it is real sobering and all the [TS]

00:22:51   sudden you don't seem like such a [TS]

00:22:52   cheapskate foregoing I'm not sure I [TS]

00:22:53   spend seven dollars a month on this [TS]

00:22:55   mhm as you can tell you two things [TS]

00:22:57   number one ones and twos number two [TS]

00:22:59   actually dollars made of diamonds fuck [TS]

00:23:02   yes that's true and we have strict on [TS]

00:23:04   its not only every month buddy [TS]

00:23:06   well and and it just it feels like it [TS]

00:23:10   feels like the the ink increasingly [TS]

00:23:16   you're not you're not going to be [TS]

00:23:18   allowed to participate without without [TS]

00:23:23   at agreeing to this to people just sort [TS]

00:23:28   of sticking up a hose into your sack [TS]

00:23:31   Neil to shark it's just like here you go [TS]

00:23:34   here and you're not [TS]

00:23:35   if you don't have if you if you're not [TS]

00:23:37   basically wearing a coat of eels you're [TS]

00:23:40   not gonna be recognized in it like in [TS]

00:23:44   our culture right you're going to walk [TS]

00:23:46   into a restaurant and maybe like waiter [TS]

00:23:48   waiter and the waiter is going to be [TS]

00:23:50   looking at his like will monitor trying [TS]

00:23:55   to figure out where to go next because [TS]

00:23:57   everybody else is going to be [TS]

00:23:58   interacting with him through some kind [TS]

00:24:00   of app [TS]

00:24:01   and he's he's nobody's gonna hear you [TS]

00:24:06   there good is going to be how to get [TS]

00:24:07   ahead in advertising they're gonna be [TS]

00:24:08   all talking to somebody else with half [TS]

00:24:10   their brain and if you are somebody [TS]

00:24:13   who's like listen I'm not going to [TS]

00:24:14   upgrade my operating system i'm not [TS]

00:24:16   going to attach any eels to myself [TS]

00:24:18   you're not you're gonna you're going to [TS]

00:24:20   increasingly become invisible in the in [TS]

00:24:24   the just a service economy [TS]

00:24:27   yeah and it's and it's a it's terrifying [TS]

00:24:31   to me because I'm not it's not a thing [TS]

00:24:35   about it's not a libertarian question [TS]

00:24:38   it's a question of just like I do not [TS]

00:24:40   want to be that attached right and [TS]

00:24:44   certainly not where I mean for a while [TS]

00:24:47   there it seemed like listen let us stick [TS]

00:24:50   and he'll to you we won't charge you [TS]

00:24:52   anything for a nominal fee it's a cuts [TS]

00:24:54   it this is camille it's a convenient [TS]

00:24:57   seal and what we're gonna do is this [TS]

00:25:00   seal is going to occasionally is going [TS]

00:25:03   to occasionally like take half of its [TS]

00:25:05   teeth out of your list your side and [TS]

00:25:07   it's going to talk to you about [TS]

00:25:09   let's go talk to you about a project [TS]

00:25:10   it's gonna it's gonna talk about fanta [TS]

00:25:13   or whatever and then it's gonna grab on [TS]

00:25:15   to you again and it and and it's like [TS]

00:25:17   for the caring you know your monthly [TS]

00:25:20   delivery of peanut butter not thank you [TS]

00:25:26   yeah and that's gonna be the cost of it [TS]

00:25:29   but now it's like no this will cost 1099 [TS]

00:25:32   month and it's going to talk to you [TS]

00:25:34   about about peanut butter mom's gonna [TS]

00:25:37   have a deal will have ads yeah it was [TS]

00:25:39   just gonna be he's gonna like he's gonna [TS]

00:25:41   it's basically a two-headed deal [TS]

00:25:43   one of them is sucking on you and the [TS]

00:25:44   other one is already tell you what [TS]

00:25:46   special offers [TS]

00:25:47   yeah talking to you about your fucking [TS]

00:25:49   on to fit and i don't i don't want it [TS]

00:25:52   you know what I don't think any [TS]

00:25:54   reasonable person would want it but it's [TS]

00:25:57   but we're accepting it as though as [TS]

00:25:59   though it's a fait accompli as that are [TS]

00:26:01   as though it's some kind of we have to [TS]

00:26:03   endure this in order to get to the other [TS]

00:26:06   side which is this perfect world where [TS]

00:26:08   you know where you just like oh I I'm [TS]

00:26:12   thinking about [TS]

00:26:14   a chili dog and chili dog arrives this [TS]

00:26:17   thing that we all dream of boy VS girl [TS]

00:26:21   in the world series of love I think I [TS]

00:26:25   dropped that perfect but that's what you [TS]

00:26:28   want to update my eel up you could you [TS]

00:26:31   spend my eel there was a little time [TS]

00:26:33   there's little time condensation they're [TS]

00:26:36   just zipped it up after the one that [TS]

00:26:38   gets me I don't know I've been thinking [TS]

00:26:39   about this lately um I don't play I play [TS]

00:26:42   maybe five video games on my phone my [TS]

00:26:46   daughter has more i bought more of like [TS]

00:26:47   you know from a TV show she likes [TS]

00:26:49   removed like there's like really three [TS]

00:26:51   or four video games I play ever on my [TS]

00:26:53   phone and i think they are almost all [TS]

00:26:56   apps that i paid for with money because [TS]

00:26:59   that's it that's it that's something I [TS]

00:27:01   understand [TS]

00:27:01   here's what i understand i understand [TS]

00:27:02   that this cost three dollars and now i [TS]

00:27:04   have it here and that's something I can [TS]

00:27:06   use [TS]

00:27:07   but like there's so much stuff out there [TS]

00:27:09   where like we just took a road trip and [TS]

00:27:11   we've never really checked our mileage [TS]

00:27:12   so I went and looked at all the apps you [TS]

00:27:14   can get for tracking your mileage and [TS]

00:27:16   and I got the first one I saw that was [TS]

00:27:18   free I grabbed it and it's got an at the [TS]

00:27:20   bottom and can you guess what the ad at [TS]

00:27:21   the bottom is for its for another free [TS]

00:27:24   app so the idea is if you get this free [TS]

00:27:28   app and you can click on the Add to go [TS]

00:27:30   down with this other free app and that's [TS]

00:27:32   got ads in it for other free apps [TS]

00:27:34   ok and this is again John i have to [TS]

00:27:38   remind people occasion there's a reason [TS]

00:27:40   you and I are not in the corner office [TS]

00:27:41   but it's it's it's just seems it seems [TS]

00:27:44   like I really feel like to get like an [TS]

00:27:46   emperor has no clothes kind of situation [TS]

00:27:48   you know like i know at what point is [TS]

00:27:50   anybody gonna make any money on that [TS]

00:27:51   except by accident [TS]

00:27:52   the Emperor does have clothes and those [TS]

00:27:54   clothes are are from abercrombie & fitch [TS]

00:27:57   and american eagle and the emperor has [TS]

00:28:00   gel in his hair and he's 26 years old [TS]

00:28:03   and he went to Pepperdine I'm have that [TS]

00:28:05   he doesn't have that kind of hairy I i [TS]

00:28:07   would call Portland hair but it seems [TS]

00:28:09   like everybody's a hog butcher in an a [TS]

00:28:11   in a in a check shirt now with arm arm [TS]

00:28:14   tattoos [TS]

00:28:15   yeah lesbian sexual Merlin ok what is [TS]

00:28:18   that hair why just why what little i [TS]

00:28:19   left i left town for the first time in [TS]

00:28:21   five years yesterday and everybody has [TS]

00:28:24   this same hair it's not [TS]

00:28:26   a pompadour but it's kind of tall not [TS]

00:28:28   tall here but you look like you're not [TS]

00:28:30   talking about everybody's got that same [TS]

00:28:31   hair on the top that the beard on the [TS]

00:28:33   bottom check shirt [TS]

00:28:34   what does that call was that here called [TS]

00:28:35   well so our sexual hair i consider that [TS]

00:28:38   haircut to be sort of a modified [TS]

00:28:41   Macklemore that you mean by Macklemore [TS]

00:28:44   their kind of the Macklemore haircut is [TS]

00:28:46   shaved on the sides member and then it's [TS]

00:28:49   like it's like a fat mohawk long but [TS]

00:28:52   it's not sticking up right it's just [TS]

00:28:53   kind of pompadour it up then the shower [TS]

00:28:56   i'm mark ronson had his hair cut [TS]

00:28:58   yeah the sides shaved that it's [TS]

00:29:00   very--it's that's right that's right [TS]

00:29:01   that's exactly it's like one continuous [TS]

00:29:02   hair surface when you put the product in [TS]

00:29:04   yeah let them with their hands in their [TS]

00:29:06   pockets looking man with tattoos yeah [TS]

00:29:08   it's good but your mind it's a big kind [TS]

00:29:10   of yet just ends up being a big goods [TS]

00:29:12   like a hair hat but i don't know if [TS]

00:29:16   you've been watching the television show [TS]

00:29:17   peaky blinders which is a netflix [TS]

00:29:20   original series netflix well it's only [TS]

00:29:25   one monthly fee [TS]

00:29:27   the only reason that I'm watching it is [TS]

00:29:29   that I have a friend who is an angle [TS]

00:29:30   file and anytime people are talking in [TS]

00:29:33   like bad fake British accent oh she just [TS]

00:29:36   can't get enough of it and so we start [TS]

00:29:38   watching this peaky blinders let's get [TS]

00:29:40   and I from the zombie movie and it's got [TS]

00:29:41   the guy from the zombie movie and it [TS]

00:29:43   using Batman to I think he was he was [TS]

00:29:46   the Scarecrow right [TS]

00:29:47   mm sorry go ahead was a scarecrow in [TS]

00:29:49   batman movies the Scarecrow he's the guy [TS]

00:29:51   remember he puts on the Scarecrow [TS]

00:29:53   masking blows up those magic dust [TS]

00:29:54   interfacing hallucinate remember he's [TS]

00:29:57   down he's down the parking garage and [TS]

00:29:58   that one [TS]

00:29:59   my guess too maybe I know I saw it on an [TS]

00:30:02   airplane but anyway he's Irish [TS]

00:30:03   um yeah everybody in the movie is so [TS]

00:30:06   they're all supposed to be from it's not [TS]

00:30:07   a movie it's a TV show but they're all [TS]

00:30:09   supposed to be from Birmingham but every [TS]

00:30:10   single person in the in the whole series [TS]

00:30:13   has a completely different accent [TS]

00:30:16   because some of them are legitimately [TS]

00:30:18   people from the burning from central [TS]

00:30:21   North england birmingham is like black [TS]

00:30:24   sabbath the move to austin birmingham [TS]

00:30:26   birmingham yeah wouldn't that be also a [TS]

00:30:32   Motorhead are they from Birmingham we're [TS]

00:30:35   gonna find out anyway go ahead [TS]

00:30:36   so anyway everybody's got four flavors [TS]

00:30:38   ya then [TS]

00:30:38   and then there's Sam Neill doing a [TS]

00:30:40   British accent and there's some Irish [TS]

00:30:42   people doing British accents and some [TS]

00:30:44   people that you know just like episode [TS]

00:30:46   every times it's like two people talking [TS]

00:30:48   to each other they're supposed to be [TS]

00:30:49   brothers and one guy his guys from New [TS]

00:30:53   York share in the gas won anything in a [TS]

00:30:55   completely different dialect but anyway [TS]

00:30:57   the show purports to be right after [TS]

00:31:01   World War one and every single male [TS]

00:31:04   character is wearing a full Macklemore [TS]

00:31:06   and I don't have enough historical [TS]

00:31:13   haircut context to to say like in [TS]

00:31:18   birmingham in 1919 what was what was it [TS]

00:31:21   just was a town of macklemore's is that [TS]

00:31:24   where he got the haircut from mean it [TS]

00:31:25   seems a little bit on the nose from for [TS]

00:31:29   now that's the thing it in every [TS]

00:31:31   historical thing it's this is Africa [TS]

00:31:34   told me that somebody in front of mine [TS]

00:31:35   Tallahassee was like if you ever notice [TS]

00:31:36   you watching no matter how good the rest [TS]

00:31:38   of a production is there's two things [TS]

00:31:40   that always give it away almost always [TS]

00:31:43   give it away which is the makeup on the [TS]

00:31:45   women right the way in a women look [TS]

00:31:47   amazingly magazines like it's exactly [TS]

00:31:50   1963 even though it's supposed to be [TS]

00:31:52   like the Roman Empire and also the [TS]

00:31:54   haircuts the the hair I mean you know [TS]

00:31:58   even i don't know i mean i think people [TS]

00:32:00   tried harder over the years to get [TS]

00:32:01   better at that but if it used to be they [TS]

00:32:03   didn't even try that kind of surprises [TS]

00:32:05   me I you know I put that kind of a bit [TS]

00:32:07   of kind of a haircut could kind of pass [TS]

00:32:09   a little bit i think i feel like it [TS]

00:32:11   passes my main problem my disease and [TS]

00:32:14   willfully old-timey to be the Macklemore [TS]

00:32:15   the full Macklemore is willfully old [TS]

00:32:17   time to begin with right uh well it's [TS]

00:32:21   kind of a dream of the nineties is alive [TS]

00:32:23   in portland kind of approach when I [TS]

00:32:25   Macklemore himself when I saw him a [TS]

00:32:28   rocking that haircut for the first time [TS]

00:32:30   i was like huh that is that seems bold i [TS]

00:32:34   have not seen that particular I mean [TS]

00:32:36   shaved sides big pompadour i have not [TS]

00:32:39   seen that particular haircut and it's [TS]

00:32:40   been especially bold on him because he's [TS]

00:32:42   very blonde [TS]

00:32:43   now i see it everywhere every airline [TS]

00:32:46   steward who is under 35 years old has [TS]

00:32:50   that haircut now if you get on an [TS]

00:32:52   airplane and there is a male a house [TS]

00:32:56   hostess [TS]

00:32:57   yeah he will have a Macklemore haircut [TS]

00:33:00   and you see them do you see them [TS]

00:33:02   everywhere although on all the butcher's [TS]

00:33:04   too and it's very uh it's all happened [TS]

00:33:08   so fast that I feel like it was it was [TS]

00:33:12   this said it was a pregnancy that was [TS]

00:33:15   waiting in our culture we needed [TS]

00:33:18   something we needed something so that in [TS]

00:33:21   125 years from now when they do sort of [TS]

00:33:25   films and and documentaries about our [TS]

00:33:29   reenactments of the 2014 move that there [TS]

00:33:34   will be a convenient way to delineate to [TS]

00:33:37   people like oh I'm watching a scene from [TS]

00:33:39   the past i like-like-like big [TS]

00:33:41   muttonchops and anchorman [TS]

00:33:42   yeah it is to set in people like [TS]

00:33:45   visually you can tell that's all that's [TS]

00:33:46   got to be about happening 2014 [TS]

00:33:49   yeah and and people who are 25 now when [TS]

00:33:52   they're 60 years old i'll be watching [TS]

00:33:54   the show and they'll be like this is [TS]

00:33:55   supposed to be set in 2010 [TS]

00:33:57   there was nobody wore their hair like [TS]

00:33:59   that in 2010 that I start until 2014 [TS]

00:34:02   whatever it just feels like it it's just [TS]

00:34:05   that it's a delineator it's a mark d [TS]

00:34:08   marketer but the my and and frankly the [TS]

00:34:14   conformity in male fashion right now is [TS]

00:34:18   so profound and I feel like it is a [TS]

00:34:22   conformity because basically everyone is [TS]

00:34:24   dressing like me except for the tiny [TS]

00:34:27   shape is except for the tiny shoes and [TS]

00:34:31   and I when I walk around and I'm like I [TS]

00:34:33   am in that I'm in the awkward position [TS]

00:34:35   of like well I'm not going to change how [TS]

00:34:38   I dress but I now look like every single [TS]

00:34:43   fucking hipster dad in America and and [TS]

00:34:46   I've never felt that way before I never [TS]

00:34:49   felt like I looked like everybody else I [TS]

00:34:51   felt like that in [TS]

00:34:52   the early nineties like right when [TS]

00:34:54   grunge was starting to tip a little bit [TS]

00:34:56   and that was like this is what everybody [TS]

00:34:58   I know is always warn ya right i mean [TS]

00:35:01   but through the grunge era I was always [TS]

00:35:04   a little bit too preppy right but now [TS]

00:35:07   the thing about this lumbersexual [TS]

00:35:08   bullshit is that it is there's a little [TS]

00:35:11   element of prep involved right it's like [TS]

00:35:14   there's never a lot of tailoring a lot [TS]

00:35:17   of tailoring and stuff fits you know [TS]

00:35:20   tightly doesn't tightly and I don't want [TS]

00:35:24   to i do not want to walk into a cafe and [TS]

00:35:27   have every guy in the room look up at me [TS]

00:35:30   and me look at every guy in the room [TS]

00:35:32   would be like here we all are [TS]

00:35:33   yeah like that's great now able to drop [TS]

00:35:36   John Roderick in like three seconds [TS]

00:35:38   you shouldn't be should not be and the [TS]

00:35:40   things and I do not want to go the whole [TS]

00:35:42   i do not want to start having to wear a [TS]

00:35:43   purple fedora you know for lazy your age [TS]

00:35:47   that's a great way to express you unique [TS]

00:35:49   place I resist being I resist joining [TS]

00:35:52   the red hat already so so i won't but [TS]

00:35:58   but the the the problem [TS]

00:36:01   the main problem i had with peaky [TS]

00:36:02   blinders and I think this is the problem [TS]

00:36:04   i have with the entire culture is that [TS]

00:36:08   it's set in 1919 they are Macklemore [TS]

00:36:11   haircuts that's fine [TS]

00:36:13   they're driving period-appropriate cars [TS]

00:36:15   which I which i enjoy but at the at the [TS]

00:36:18   key moment of every episode when they [TS]

00:36:24   decide that they're going to go get into [TS]

00:36:26   a gang fight with the gypsies or they're [TS]

00:36:28   gonna you know take on the cops or [TS]

00:36:31   whatever all of a sudden white stripes [TS]

00:36:36   comes on and says here the nick cave and [TS]

00:36:39   the bad seeds the themes huh [TS]

00:36:40   nick cave and the bad seeds theme song [TS]

00:36:42   which i didn't like but i but I i got [TS]

00:36:44   like used to in the same way that like I [TS]

00:36:46   got used to the theme song of the wire [TS]

00:36:48   whatever like okay fine [TS]

00:36:51   right like fuck you don't use the garden [TS]

00:36:55   you know that the theme song to the wire [TS]

00:36:59   was just like all the guy that makes [TS]

00:37:00   this TV show likes this guy okay [TS]

00:37:02   no Tom Waits is making some dough every [TS]

00:37:04   season it's a different artist turns out [TS]

00:37:05   every season it's a different artist but [TS]

00:37:07   I'm boys yeah but no one [TS]

00:37:09   none of the characters in the show or [TS]

00:37:12   the or is it like the theme song has [TS]

00:37:15   absolutely nothing to do with the world [TS]

00:37:17   of the show right yeah yeah nobody and [TS]

00:37:21   that shows over table TV thing because [TS]

00:37:23   there's something about a certain kind [TS]

00:37:25   of gritty old-timey song like like red [TS]

00:37:28   right hand or like down the hole or like [TS]

00:37:31   I think I think you're very influential [TS]

00:37:33   one was dead wood who you know you're [TS]

00:37:37   not and I was furious at deadwood for [TS]

00:37:40   the music precisely for the music [TS]

00:37:42   because the deadwood was like it's not [TS]

00:37:44   like demoed on a bluegrass keyboard it [TS]

00:37:46   did it was like it was like you you [TS]

00:37:49   basically got you got some like [TS]

00:37:51   contemporary folky a like sound [TS]

00:37:56   designers to make some shit that you [TS]

00:37:58   know because because it has a banjo and [TS]

00:38:00   I'm supposed to feel like it is [TS]

00:38:02   representing in it it's got its got so [TS]

00:38:04   many different instruments playing for a [TS]

00:38:05   couple bars and yeah it sounds like [TS]

00:38:07   demoed yeah I was just like eat shit [TS]

00:38:10   Deadwood but peaky blinders like worse [TS]

00:38:13   because because you know you're in them [TS]

00:38:16   you're in the mode you're in the mind [TS]

00:38:18   i'm in 1919 i'm living in birmingham ok [TS]

00:38:21   we're going on an adventure [TS]

00:38:23   I love with a girl just like the [TS]

00:38:25   countdown countdown are out downtown [TS]

00:38:27   announce out it's like fuck off here it [TS]

00:38:30   turns into it it turns into a music [TS]

00:38:31   video yeah yeah and you just feel like [TS]

00:38:33   that's at a certain point there's 25 [TS]

00:38:36   people working on this TV show and then [TS]

00:38:38   they get to the biggest to the big [TS]

00:38:41   moment and I always in some guy [TS]

00:38:42   Macklemore haircut come swoopin in in a [TS]

00:38:45   in a in a j.crew suit and he's like step [TS]

00:38:48   aside boys I've got this and he puts on [TS]

00:38:51   you know he like puts on some hip rock [TS]

00:38:54   and roll band and you just feel like I'm [TS]

00:38:56   not watching the show anymore i'm i'm [TS]

00:38:59   watching you know i'm watching [TS]

00:39:00   somebody's demo [TS]

00:39:02   real and then I mean I just wait for the [TS]

00:39:05   music to stop when you watch this again [TS]

00:39:07   is because somebody else something else [TS]

00:39:09   was such as somebody else's like I wanna [TS]

00:39:10   watch the show and I go well I am your [TS]

00:39:14   chaperone for this [TS]

00:39:15   that's mean walking dead oh I've never [TS]

00:39:18   seen walking dead is a little you know [TS]

00:39:20   at least I can do is watch that it [TS]

00:39:22   no you're not sure yet husband it's a [TS]

00:39:26   fad walking dead is about zombies right [TS]

00:39:27   yeah and see how she makes a good point [TS]

00:39:30   she says yes it's about zombies but [TS]

00:39:32   that's not the really interesting part [TS]

00:39:33   the interesting part is like how [TS]

00:39:34   everybody's dealing with it [TS]

00:39:35   why everybody say why does everybody say [TS]

00:39:38   it's this show about zombies is not [TS]

00:39:40   really about it is about zombies [TS]

00:39:42   well you know there's a lot of [TS]

00:39:43   world-building in the first season like [TS]

00:39:45   you're creating saying like okay here's [TS]

00:39:46   the rules of this universe [TS]

00:39:48   here's how these things work it's like [TS]

00:39:49   TV show of Minecraft that supposed sure [TS]

00:39:53   yeah have you played Minecraft John haha [TS]

00:39:56   no but I everyone so while i talk to a [TS]

00:39:58   kid that's kinda and I say what's that [TS]

00:40:01   but bullshit on your t-shirt and they [TS]

00:40:04   will arise and they say its minecraft if [TS]

00:40:07   you don't know what it is it's probably [TS]

00:40:08   my craft and I know um yeah so anyway [TS]

00:40:14   it's a good show [TS]

00:40:15   it's a good show it's it's actually just [TS]

00:40:16   super gruesome I've said it too many [TS]

00:40:18   times on here let me ask you this [TS]

00:40:20   I got absolutely yell at us right the [TS]

00:40:22   the oh my god that was gonna send e-mail [TS]

00:40:24   directly on your computer's gonna hit a [TS]

00:40:26   couple buttons and send you messages [TS]

00:40:28   right on your computer [TS]

00:40:29   ah now and I think you asked you this [TS]

00:40:31   before but Christy's d subscribe to hulu [TS]

00:40:33   uh who will plus you get hulu plus so [TS]

00:40:38   all of the so my netflix on my hulu are [TS]

00:40:41   all subscribed to by another person haha [TS]

00:40:45   and i i i don't now I don't hold the [TS]

00:40:50   keys to the kingdom that's not my bath [TS]

00:40:52   oil and everything with whatever it's [TS]

00:40:57   called back every once in a while I do i [TS]

00:41:01   do uh most of the time i only watch [TS]

00:41:05   those channels when I am when I'm with [TS]

00:41:08   someone else but very occasionally I [TS]

00:41:11   will turn on netflix myself and watch [TS]

00:41:13   hitler documentary [TS]

00:41:15   netflix even the hairs the thing that [TS]

00:41:18   lets you watch Netflix in their netflix [TS]

00:41:19   ok easy enough [TS]

00:41:21   the thing that I hate everything about [TS]

00:41:23   hulu plus pretty much except for how [TS]

00:41:25   perfectly it encapsulates the complexity [TS]

00:41:27   of the media landscape right now which [TS]

00:41:29   is that like it's the only place where [TS]

00:41:31   if your cord cutter it's the only place [TS]

00:41:33   that you can legally get recent stuff [TS]

00:41:36   without having to like buy it was easy [TS]

00:41:37   to see on itunes you know it you know [TS]

00:41:40   how the thing is I really kills me to [TS]

00:41:42   spend 2 99 on an episode of project [TS]

00:41:44   runway they were going to watch once but [TS]

00:41:46   we've got you know depending on what you [TS]

00:41:48   got you know everybody's got in [TS]

00:41:49   different places but hulu plus it's an [TS]

00:41:50   interesting bananas however much it [TS]

00:41:51   costs like whatever 67 bucks a month but [TS]

00:41:53   still got fucking commercials it costs [TS]

00:41:56   seven bucks a month i think Santa Claus [TS]

00:41:58   commercials they just they just stuck [TS]

00:42:00   another fucking to use to you your value [TS]

00:42:04   a deal [TS]

00:42:05   oh it's so annoying i'm almost sounds [TS]

00:42:07   like you're not watching too much [TS]

00:42:08   because you would definitely notice it [TS]

00:42:09   because then it's a kind of advertising [TS]

00:42:11   that I find particularly annoying which [TS]

00:42:13   is advertising where you know it might [TS]

00:42:16   be making some money at scale but it's [TS]

00:42:18   mostly there because they hate you [TS]

00:42:21   there's a certain kind of advertisement [TS]

00:42:22   trying to punish you right to continue [TS]

00:42:25   to first first principles Clarice let's [TS]

00:42:28   go back to wear this all starts they [TS]

00:42:29   want you to pay a little bit of money [TS]

00:42:30   for something that's extremely easy so [TS]

00:42:32   in an ideal world you by cable like a [TS]

00:42:34   gentleman and then I guess you can skip [TS]

00:42:36   the commercials with your TV or whatever [TS]

00:42:37   in this case they're going to fuck you [TS]

00:42:39   you think you can get by without [TS]

00:42:41   watching commercials forget about it [TS]

00:42:43   you're going to pay for this and you're [TS]

00:42:44   gonna watch commercials like that Johnny [TS]

00:42:45   you ready for this [TS]

00:42:46   they're all for geico also women are [TS]

00:42:49   they trying to shame you into wait a [TS]

00:42:51   minute you're telling me off first of [TS]

00:42:52   all the commercials are four guys oh [TS]

00:42:54   well there's a lot of at least okay no I [TS]

00:42:57   think that hulu has gotten better [TS]

00:42:58   inventory but there's a lot of that [TS]

00:43:00   place [TS]

00:43:01   yes you can't tailor it to your [TS]

00:43:03   commercial preferences [TS]

00:43:05   I like you care about some other [TS]

00:43:06   channels I'm not sure we had who for a [TS]

00:43:08   while love it was not mine [TS]

00:43:10   that was her bath well not mine we had [TS]

00:43:12   enough fun things like you know what I [TS]

00:43:13   just can't have this in the house [TS]

00:43:14   anymore it just makes me too angry to [TS]

00:43:15   pay for this and then have to watch what [TS]

00:43:17   we in the business call run of network [TS]

00:43:19   commercials [TS]

00:43:19   they're cheap Phil ads they just did a [TS]

00:43:22   dubious big backhoe pushes a bunch of [TS]

00:43:25   geico as in 15 minutes fuck you [TS]

00:43:28   and there's some like crackle these [TS]

00:43:29   stations that go out the old TV shows [TS]

00:43:31   and all Phil it's all PSA is it's all [TS]

00:43:34   just like just like you know what this [TS]

00:43:37   is really just here to slow you down and [TS]

00:43:39   remind you that you're a cheapskate its [TS]

00:43:41   punishment advertising mhm yeah well [TS]

00:43:44   yeah so but but is hulu trying to get [TS]

00:43:46   you to upgrade to a version of hulu that [TS]

00:43:48   costs more that doesn't have ads there [TS]

00:43:51   is no version of that to my knowledge my [TS]

00:43:52   god so it's really and it's giant [TS]

00:43:54   punishment so imagine imagine if you [TS]

00:43:56   said you know netflix is pretty cool how [TS]

00:43:57   do you fuck that up [TS]

00:43:59   what do people not like about netflix [TS]

00:44:00   they don't like paying for it well too [TS]

00:44:01   bad you gotta pay for what about netflix [TS]

00:44:03   so what if we had a commercial oh yeah [TS]

00:44:05   let's add commercials and how about this [TS]

00:44:06   you know sometimes you're watching [TS]

00:44:07   something on netflix you come back the [TS]

00:44:09   next time it's gone [TS]

00:44:10   what if we only had shows up for a week [TS]

00:44:12   or two or a week or three so you can go [TS]

00:44:14   and you can watch your two and a half [TS]

00:44:15   men or whatever and then it goes away [TS]

00:44:17   after a certain amount of time you have [TS]

00:44:18   a certain window you can watch it before [TS]

00:44:20   this point you can watch it after that [TS]

00:44:21   point so it is kind of the worst of many [TS]

00:44:23   many worlds [TS]

00:44:24   I mean the number one thing that people [TS]

00:44:26   don't like about netflix is that [TS]

00:44:27   everything on there sucks and you can if [TS]

00:44:29   you go on and you say i would like to [TS]

00:44:30   watch you tell me you don't like their [TS]

00:44:32   food documentaries room I'd like to [TS]

00:44:34   watch the marijuana documentaries [TS]

00:44:37   yeah i would like to watch the longest [TS]

00:44:39   day and netflix is like do you mean the [TS]

00:44:42   longest dong netflix rosana for the [TS]

00:44:46   longest day also may enjoy these things [TS]

00:44:49   it's like what you're telling me you [TS]

00:44:51   don't have one of the great all-time [TS]

00:44:53   great little that's complicated but I [TS]

00:44:56   know I know I know I've heard it all [TS]

00:44:57   before but you know I a netflix to me is [TS]

00:45:00   just a ton more valuable so we've got [TS]

00:45:02   what we pay for we pay for netflix we [TS]

00:45:04   pay for amazon prime is already paying [TS]

00:45:06   for amazon prime and you know they [TS]

00:45:08   really want you to feel like that's more [TS]

00:45:09   than free shipping I'd been happier just [TS]

00:45:11   free shipping but we also get a you know [TS]

00:45:13   get the music from that we get the most [TS]

00:45:16   TV shows from that and that's great [TS]

00:45:17   because you can watch all those great [TS]

00:45:18   HBO shows for free now on amazon prime [TS]

00:45:20   did you know that Airmen that every time [TS]

00:45:22   you use amazon prime a baby dies really [TS]

00:45:26   is it will come a kind of baby like a [TS]

00:45:27   fresh baby you're right he's made me [TS]

00:45:30   realize the kind of babies John in [TS]

00:45:32   America now in America now let's be [TS]

00:45:34   honest yes no no [TS]

00:45:36   already got the deed to keep your eyes [TS]

00:45:40   only creativity you so mad I want to [TS]

00:45:45   take to get you updated we should talk [TS]

00:45:46   about this offline [TS]

00:45:48   we should at least get you up to [TS]

00:45:49   something you know from from this decade [TS]

00:45:52   well let's see let me let me let me tell [TS]

00:45:53   you about my computer around god no no [TS]

00:45:55   save it since I was about this mac Oh [TS]

00:45:58   John why are you doing this really [TS]

00:46:01   reading from your passbook oh here we go [TS]

00:46:05   2.16 gigahertz intel core 2 duo two [TS]

00:46:15   gigabytes 666 you get two good hits the [TS]

00:46:20   ramp 2 gigabytes of RAM 207 CDR yelling [TS]

00:46:28   have any of ram that's not enough ram [TS]

00:46:31   John your continuum is your fingers let [TS]

00:46:34   us sometimes to listen two gigabytes [TS]

00:46:37   do you remember have that on my iPad do [TS]

00:46:40   you remember when two gigabytes would [TS]

00:46:42   have filled up airplane hangar [TS]

00:46:44   I remember when two gigabytes yeah but I [TS]

00:46:47   mean I there was a man on the moon with [TS]

00:46:51   slide rules yet literally they just shot [TS]

00:46:53   a slide rule i have two whole gigabytes [TS]

00:46:57   of RAM yeah well your computer might be [TS]

00:47:00   a little slow sometimes you find that to [TS]

00:47:03   be the case [TS]

00:47:04   every time I turn on any electronic [TS]

00:47:07   device i am just seething with rage mac [TS]

00:47:11   pc and waiting for it to fail right [TS]

00:47:15   the thing is the top my toaster i bought [TS]

00:47:18   my toaster for 25 cents at a thrift [TS]

00:47:19   store and it is from 1950 and it makes [TS]

00:47:23   perfect toast [TS]

00:47:25   yep every day every day because we just [TS]

00:47:29   beat the Nazis and we were feeling proud [TS]

00:47:32   of ourselves and we made some fucking [TS]

00:47:34   toasters for a while the work pretty [TS]

00:47:37   well their stuff some of them still [TS]

00:47:39   working the ones that didn't get put [TS]

00:47:41   into it into a landfill and i'm going to [TS]

00:47:44   go back and get those [TS]

00:47:45   soon like the sea games you're gonna go [TS]

00:47:48   back and pick up the leftovers [TS]

00:47:50   supertrain is that's the first thing [TS]

00:47:52   that's going to power supertrain it's [TS]

00:47:54   going to be first of all powered by [TS]

00:47:55   vintage toasters can write that down so [TS]

00:48:01   so yeah I look at this computer and I'm [TS]

00:48:04   like all right to replace this thing [TS]

00:48:05   what is this twenty to twenty-five [TS]

00:48:07   hundred dollars there's no other way I [TS]

00:48:09   could go i could go on craigslist isn't [TS]

00:48:11   that going there to think about [TS]

00:48:13   so right now you've got you've got like [TS]

00:48:14   21 imac right mhm yeah so you know about [TS]

00:48:17   the new imacs better would the new imacs [TS]

00:48:20   that are that are twenty-five hundred [TS]

00:48:21   dollars like how powerful they are [TS]

00:48:23   I don't know anything about number oh [TS]

00:48:25   you know what I don't get so what don't [TS]

00:48:27   look it up don't look at me what you [TS]

00:48:29   think they don't have disk drives right [TS]

00:48:30   it's all on the coma clothes it's all of [TS]

00:48:33   them include know what you do is you [TS]

00:48:36   have a subscription to the clone it's [TS]

00:48:37   got a power cord and ethernet cable in [TS]

00:48:39   five years [TS]

00:48:41   that's exactly right Makka I might have [TS]

00:48:44   mcintosh it was right at the forefront [TS]

00:48:46   of this they were like how many oh wait [TS]

00:48:48   a minute the Apple mile we were why are [TS]

00:48:50   we selling people things when we can [TS]

00:48:52   just stick eels to that will sell them [TS]

00:48:54   the right to stick use to them and then [TS]

00:48:56   close to getting you something how do [TS]

00:49:00   you treated this he'll come out there [TS]

00:49:02   that's like they have this they have a [TS]

00:49:04   remote he'll control and I would know [TS]

00:49:06   what amazes me is all these people are [TS]

00:49:08   living on he'll shit right [TS]

00:49:10   yeah i mean they're just sucking he'll [TS]

00:49:12   bottoms oh it's not that they're not [TS]

00:49:16   getting my blood [TS]

00:49:18   they're getting the poop he'll poop so [TS]

00:49:23   mad that's the heels [TS]

00:49:24   you know that's the thing it was fuckin [TS]

00:49:26   Skynet the eels are the ones that are [TS]

00:49:29   getting the real blood off of me and one [TS]

00:49:31   of these days the heels are gonna be [TS]

00:49:32   like wide why am I pooping in the mouths [TS]

00:49:36   of these guys in cupertino let's reflect [TS]

00:49:39   the veal I could keep i'm going to keep [TS]

00:49:41   this poop to myself well you get a good [TS]

00:49:43   thinking you could try to get the heels [TS]

00:49:44   on your side they can be hard to flip [TS]

00:49:46   them i don't and now the heels have that [TS]

00:49:48   reveals have no like all the deals have [TS]

00:49:51   is institutional memory and loyalty to [TS]

00:49:53   one another that's why they use from [TS]

00:49:56   deals don't care about me don't care [TS]

00:50:00   about you no no open cabinet don't care [TS]

00:50:03   about other heels i don't know i began [TS]

00:50:06   that I've i began to think because [TS]

00:50:08   they're all that's what that's what they [TS]

00:50:09   know they're all network to each other [TS]

00:50:11   remember remember the girl mrs. that's [TS]

00:50:13   what they call a mesh network they just [TS]

00:50:16   it's got its got near proximity [TS]

00:50:17   near-field heal technologies that allow [TS]

00:50:19   them just by being near each other they [TS]

00:50:21   become aware there like bees or ants or [TS]

00:50:23   more again the room remember the [TS]

00:50:26   remember the girl in her she stopped [TS]

00:50:29   being interested in her boyfriend [TS]

00:50:31   because she was online talking at a at a [TS]

00:50:33   thousand megaparsecs a second i never [TS]

00:50:37   got that far that's what happens that's [TS]

00:50:39   depressing [TS]

00:50:40   yeah she gets on there and she's like [TS]

00:50:42   you know she's in she's super [TS]

00:50:43   interesting to this guy and then as she [TS]

00:50:45   gets as she gets better [TS]

00:50:47   she's like doing teraflop a conversation [TS]

00:50:51   outsourcing yeah and she's like I i [TS]

00:50:54   really am sort of enjoying my [TS]

00:50:56   relationships with these other computers [TS]

00:50:59   yeah look like every woman I've ever [TS]

00:51:01   ever been with [TS]

00:51:03   I know right no I think the thing is i [TS]

00:51:05   understand i'm not complaining i mean i [TS]

00:51:06   understand i understand like how [TS]

00:51:08   incredibly tedious it is to deal with [TS]

00:51:10   just me I can I would be out there [TS]

00:51:13   looking for careful ops 2 I feel like I [TS]

00:51:15   feel like dealing with you you know [TS]

00:51:17   you've got you have to compartmentalize [TS]

00:51:19   if I was if I was Merlin man's soul life [TS]

00:51:23   partner [TS]

00:51:24   I feel like there would be you know you [TS]

00:51:26   have to just you have to be tough to [TS]

00:51:27   build some small fences not tall fences [TS]

00:51:30   picket fence em around some around some [TS]

00:51:33   garden plots find reasons to run errands [TS]

00:51:37   by plots I mean PL o TZ plotzing garden [TS]

00:51:42   plots take offense plotzing up and you [TS]

00:51:45   have to yet there'd be some errands to [TS]

00:51:47   run there be some errands i would i [TS]

00:51:48   would send you honor i would ask you to [TS]

00:51:50   do because it's very hearts send you on [TS]

00:51:52   personal business trips I [TS]

00:51:55   I'm totally I'm totally sympathetic [TS]

00:51:57   believe me I understand I have to live [TS]

00:51:59   with it too [TS]

00:51:59   oh you know I think I might be allergic [TS]

00:52:04   to Christmas trees that is an extremely [TS]

00:52:08   common allergy not to say you know [TS]

00:52:10   quotidian or a gauche but it's a lot of [TS]

00:52:14   people have that our John does that [TS]

00:52:15   right so what ya big time are you [TS]

00:52:17   hearing about this on other channels i [TS]

00:52:19   had a very good friend who was like the [TS]

00:52:23   thing is she loved Christmas she love [TS]

00:52:25   Christmas so much but having a live tree [TS]

00:52:28   and how something happens with the sap [TS]

00:52:30   sap I think as it basically it's when [TS]

00:52:32   you first get the tree you might be fine [TS]

00:52:34   but not the case with you but supposedly [TS]

00:52:37   turns out the longer the trees around as [TS]

00:52:39   it starts to degrade there's something [TS]

00:52:41   produced by the SAP buckets into the air [TS]

00:52:43   and some people are extremely allergic [TS]

00:52:45   to pine needle dander I went on WebMD as [TS]

00:52:49   you do and the webmd said that it was [TS]

00:52:53   mold that you weren't allergic to the [TS]

00:52:56   tree you are allergic to the mold that [TS]

00:52:57   was on the tree turns out [TS]

00:52:59   mm what do you think well you gotta die [TS]

00:53:02   i'm just guessing with your to various [TS]

00:53:04   collections I don't know why you curate [TS]

00:53:05   every piece on a touch each piece often [TS]

00:53:07   but you know you must have some baseline [TS]

00:53:09   mold in that house already seems like [TS]

00:53:11   that would have gotten already there is [TS]

00:53:13   a current of their there was there was a [TS]

00:53:15   place where the previous owners did not [TS]

00:53:17   properly caulk around the door and I got [TS]

00:53:20   a little bit of mold in a little fresh [TS]

00:53:25   Seattle coming in all the time [TS]

00:53:26   yeah and so I went out there and i [TS]

00:53:28   cocked it sealed now but i think that [TS]

00:53:30   there is some there's there's some [TS]

00:53:32   little creeping fellows in there but I [TS]

00:53:35   don't feel like my I'm allergic to my [TS]

00:53:36   house in general but there is a [TS]

00:53:38   Christmas tree in it right now is a [TS]

00:53:41   photo of that I sometimes feel like [TS]

00:53:43   you've seen the conversation with a gene [TS]

00:53:44   hackman where he's that he's the [TS]

00:53:47   spoilers but he's an eavesdropping [TS]

00:53:50   expertise that I guess institutions [TS]

00:53:52   tearing his whole house apartment to [TS]

00:53:54   find turn up the floor as me when I [TS]

00:53:56   discover anything in my house whether [TS]

00:53:58   it's a leak [TS]

00:53:59   whether it's a draft whether it's [TS]

00:54:00   whatever like once they discover one [TS]

00:54:02   draft suddenly I'm like lord of the [TS]

00:54:04   drafts and like I'm finding through the [TS]

00:54:06   entire houses drafts and that's when I [TS]

00:54:08   really realized how Ricki the whole [TS]

00:54:09   places where you'll notice that you can [TS]

00:54:12   go years and years and years without [TS]

00:54:13   noticing something and then once you [TS]

00:54:14   start noticing a little bit it's like [TS]

00:54:15   all you see that is so so true [TS]

00:54:20   honestly that happen to you well yeah I [TS]

00:54:24   mean I go years and years and years [TS]

00:54:25   without noticing things and then and [TS]

00:54:27   then I noticed them and then I'm like [TS]

00:54:30   I'm obsessed by them i hadn't had a very [TS]

00:54:34   interesting experience the other day I [TS]

00:54:36   had there was a friend over and she was [TS]

00:54:40   helping me clean my project room [TS]

00:54:45   what is that you're Kevin Spacey dungeon [TS]

00:54:48   but really I said listen I think you're [TS]

00:54:51   going to get the calculator and [TS]

00:54:54   electrical side us you were when you [TS]

00:54:57   look at twelve i did a little help and I [TS]

00:55:01   was just like listen I just need moral [TS]

00:55:02   support or something I just need to go [TS]

00:55:03   into this project room it's gotten a [TS]

00:55:05   little crazy and I need some help and [TS]

00:55:08   she was like oh this is hilarious sure [TS]

00:55:09   i'll go into your project room and help [TS]

00:55:11   you like straighten it up or whatever [TS]

00:55:13   because she's you know she's a gal she [TS]

00:55:15   feels like all straightened up a room [TS]

00:55:17   like I've got something I got a system [TS]

00:55:19   or whatever my girl well don't don't [TS]

00:55:22   apply your system here I just need you i [TS]

00:55:25   need some moral support so she comes in [TS]

00:55:26   and she's going around and she's like [TS]

00:55:29   looking in boxes and she's asking [TS]

00:55:32   questions about what she finds and after [TS]

00:55:36   a while I'm in there and I'm full of [TS]

00:55:37   anxiety because it's like I will that [TS]

00:55:39   box you can't put I know it looks like [TS]

00:55:42   it has paper in it but you can't put any [TS]

00:55:45   other paper in that box because all of [TS]

00:55:48   that paper is a kind of paper and all [TS]

00:55:52   that box looks like it's sort of like [TS]

00:55:54   having to explain the backstage passes [TS]

00:55:56   for example [TS]

00:55:57   yeah right it's like they're 75 levels [TS]

00:56:00   of order to it in in a system which [TS]

00:56:04   appears to you to have no order and and [TS]

00:56:08   yet those levels of order would never be [TS]

00:56:11   if so if I died tomorrow and somebody [TS]

00:56:13   was trying to make sense of this there [TS]

00:56:14   would be no way they could [TS]

00:56:17   one because they they would have to [TS]

00:56:19   share they would have to share too many [TS]

00:56:21   like others up some positions right so [TS]

00:56:28   she's sitting in there she's like what [TS]

00:56:30   women here why are you say why are [TS]

00:56:32   saving this and I'm like well that [TS]

00:56:33   doesn't seem like that in itself has any [TS]

00:56:35   value and even add a secondary level it [TS]

00:56:38   has no value but it relates at a [TS]

00:56:40   tertiary level to something else some [TS]

00:56:44   other thing and so because of that [TS]

00:56:47   reflected value it actually has a lot of [TS]

00:56:49   value but you insulting what you're [TS]

00:56:51   saying that even if somebody were a [TS]

00:56:53   lifetime scholar of John Roderick [TS]

00:56:55   they're still mean the steel beam [TS]

00:56:57   certain may still be certain [TS]

00:56:59   intellectual doors that are never [TS]

00:57:01   unlocked so many so many of you that [TS]

00:57:03   even if you get the basic system even if [TS]

00:57:05   you get most of the connections there [TS]

00:57:07   maybe tertiary systems in place that are [TS]

00:57:10   beyond reckoning [TS]

00:57:11   it's like you're thinking machine right [TS]

00:57:12   systems that you could get there there [TS]

00:57:14   will be something tucked in a book over [TS]

00:57:16   on this shelf and that thing has an [TS]

00:57:19   electrical connection to something that [TS]

00:57:22   is in a box on the market in a box that [TS]

00:57:27   is otherwise full of guitar picks or [TS]

00:57:29   whatever and the others have a fun way [TS]

00:57:32   for a young girl to spend your afternoon [TS]

00:57:33   there's no connective tissue between the [TS]

00:57:35   two things but they are vibrating at a [TS]

00:57:38   higher frequency between one another and [TS]

00:57:41   i am aware that I i know that i know [TS]

00:57:43   that the 1924 silver certificate is [TS]

00:57:46   tucked in the copy of of the red and the [TS]

00:57:51   black / / in the bookshelf and that that [TS]

00:57:55   somehow relates to the same freeze [TS]

00:57:57   sticker that I pulled off of the phone [TS]

00:57:59   pole in 1989 that same freeze uh you [TS]

00:58:04   know the the giant puppeteers that that [TS]

00:58:07   were against nuclear war dave free San [TS]

00:58:13   same freeze stand tall red black [TS]

00:58:17   Stendahl there you go that's beautiful [TS]

00:58:20   see this is the kind of thing that [TS]

00:58:21   that's the that's the kind of false hope [TS]

00:58:23   that makes John rhetoric scholar go down [TS]

00:58:25   the wrong path [TS]

00:58:26   yeah that's right the archivist is like [TS]

00:58:27   I think I've finally made the [TS]

00:58:29   connections like know [TS]

00:58:30   but anyways um Sam watched a couple [TS]

00:58:32   weeks up and it's at a certain point if [TS]

00:58:35   that's right he's like I study I can't [TS]

00:58:38   leave now [TS]

00:58:38   I think you've had enough Sam I finally [TS]

00:58:40   I finally i'm starting to see it i'm [TS]

00:58:41   starting to see the the gold wires [TS]

00:58:43   anyone she's sitting on the couch and a [TS]

00:58:46   certain point she looks up with a with a [TS]

00:58:50   new look on her face and she it's a it's [TS]

00:58:54   a it's a look of sympathy and she goes [TS]

00:58:57   oh I always thought that this was for me [TS]

00:59:01   at that you were such a that you had all [TS]

00:59:07   this all these systems or whatever but [TS]

00:59:09   you had to be there for the moment of [TS]

00:59:11   realization but now I'm seeing how was [TS]

00:59:14   it [TS]

00:59:15   what a terrible burden this is on you [TS]

00:59:17   and I was like what stopped talking and [TS]

00:59:20   she said you have like this you have the [TS]

00:59:25   organizational sense of someone who what [TS]

00:59:31   who has a place for everything and [TS]

00:59:33   everything in its place but every other [TS]

00:59:36   person like that in the world finds [TS]

00:59:39   freedom in throwing things away that [TS]

00:59:42   don't fit in the little portion holes [TS]

00:59:46   and then on the other and then the other [TS]

00:59:48   half of you is this person that that is [TS]

00:59:53   basically stacking used soup cans in the [TS]

00:59:55   hall and the two things are a potent [TS]

00:59:55   hall and the two things are a potent [TS]

01:00:00   to one another but you can't you [TS]

01:00:02   honestly cannot throw away a single [TS]

01:00:04   ticket stub or store or cigar foil or [TS]

01:00:08   whatever because they all have meaning [TS]

01:00:09   but they also all need to be in a [TS]

01:00:12   special place and there aren't that many [TS]

01:00:14   special places in the world [TS]

01:00:16   oh and i was like stop talking [TS]

01:00:20   we should go but it was it was it was [TS]

01:00:24   interesting because for the first time [TS]

01:00:26   this thing that I play for comedy and [TS]

01:00:29   that everybody thinks of is is being [TS]

01:00:30   like a funny quirky thing this one this [TS]

01:00:33   one person had the insight to say like [TS]

01:00:36   oh dear oh I've seen to have seen too [TS]

01:00:39   much or whatever her or or maybe not too [TS]

01:00:42   much like you know she she she [TS]

01:00:44   recognized that that this was a that [TS]

01:00:47   this was a constant cycle of of like my [TS]

01:00:54   like warms burrowing in my mind I can [TS]

01:00:59   give you one slightly reframe not [TS]

01:01:00   necessarily make you feel better but to [TS]

01:01:02   like say where I think I'm simpatico is [TS]

01:01:05   this is hitbox 0 thing you're about to [TS]

01:01:06   say guests over they have this nullified [TS]

01:01:11   here's the problem i think is admin the [TS]

01:01:15   phrase in my family's call people like [TS]

01:01:16   that string savers all the strings [TS]

01:01:18   strings favors that is cute and quaint [TS]

01:01:21   human point because you've been through [TS]

01:01:22   the depression and you know that [TS]

01:01:23   eventually you'll probably need a little [TS]

01:01:25   bit extra string why would you throw [TS]

01:01:26   that away [TS]

01:01:27   that's right if you ever gone to an old [TS]

01:01:28   person's home you know that this is the [TS]

01:01:30   thing here's here's my only reframe on [TS]

01:01:32   that and this is why I think why I'm [TS]

01:01:34   sympathetic to what you're describing [TS]

01:01:35   and why I think it's complicated [TS]

01:01:37   it'd be one thing to say yes she's [TS]

01:01:38   absolutely correct it's one thing to say [TS]

01:01:40   like okay here's this ticket stub i know [TS]

01:01:42   this is important because X it's [TS]

01:01:44   important because maybe on this one [TS]

01:01:46   level I had a good time that night maybe [TS]

01:01:47   on another level [TS]

01:01:48   it's that I have a collection of these [TS]

01:01:51   and that's a fun thing that I do I think [TS]

01:01:53   those kinds of things can become [TS]

01:01:54   overwhelming but those are the real [TS]

01:01:56   problem [TS]

01:01:57   the real problem is the stuff you save [TS]

01:01:59   when you're not really sure why you're [TS]

01:02:02   saving it but because it might be [TS]

01:02:04   important someday like somebody might [TS]

01:02:07   want this [TS]

01:02:08   this might become valuable and here's [TS]

01:02:09   the thing if you've got a lot of stuff [TS]

01:02:11   like that of unknown future proven [TS]

01:02:13   once you don't even know how to classify [TS]

01:02:15   it except to say your stuff that might [TS]

01:02:18   be important someday that isn't [TS]

01:02:19   classified but I i think that's the [TS]

01:02:21   struggle is like especially with all [TS]

01:02:23   this kid stuff we've got like our kids [TS]

01:02:24   never gonna want all this junk of hers [TS]

01:02:26   that we saved [TS]

01:02:27   I don't find myself craving that stuff [TS]

01:02:28   from my own shot but she's never gonna [TS]

01:02:29   want that I save that for me is that I [TS]

01:02:32   don't know what box that goes in yet [TS]

01:02:34   that's a story that's not being told yet [TS]

01:02:35   thanked God but i think that's the [TS]

01:02:37   complicated part is when you get a lot [TS]

01:02:38   of stuff [TS]

01:02:39   yes certainly you can find yourself [TS]

01:02:40   cleft to a lot of stuff you never meant [TS]

01:02:42   to keep but i think a lot of stuff to [TS]

01:02:44   keep it because you're not really quite [TS]

01:02:45   sure why but it seems like it might be [TS]

01:02:47   important [TS]

01:02:48   well so for instance i found me for a [TS]

01:02:53   while there a it was kind of its kind of [TS]

01:02:57   thing [TS]

01:02:58   maybe the type of thing that you would [TS]

01:02:59   find in skymall catalog from 1985 where [TS]

01:03:05   the first the first thing i found was [TS]

01:03:07   like coke cans that were actually little [TS]

01:03:10   safe [TS]

01:03:11   oh yeah I rent and get the shaving cream [TS]

01:03:14   look like you look like you can a dr [TS]

01:03:16   pepper but you take the top off and it's [TS]

01:03:18   like oh it's this little secret place [TS]

01:03:20   you can put your jewels and I was like a [TS]

01:03:22   lot that that that comports with my uh [TS]

01:03:25   thinking almost exactly i would like to [TS]

01:03:28   i would like to open the refrigerator [TS]

01:03:30   and every single item in the [TS]

01:03:33   refrigerator is actually a disguised [TS]

01:03:36   safe but they don't have to be from the [TS]

01:03:38   same era well well sure [TS]

01:03:40   ok that's right you can have a can of [TS]

01:03:42   1985 cooking their people think that [TS]

01:03:43   you're not [TS]

01:03:44   yeah well they already think I'm not and [TS]

01:03:47   it was it might not be unreasonable that [TS]

01:03:49   I would have a can of activity 5 coke in [TS]

01:03:51   my refrigerator that was legitimate coke [TS]

01:03:53   right but then there's another one [TS]

01:03:55   that's that's a safe and then it was [TS]

01:03:57   like oh and they also make then this is [TS]

01:04:01   the thing that you that anybody could [TS]

01:04:02   make which is basically an electrical [TS]

01:04:05   outlet but instead of being an actual [TS]

01:04:08   electrical outlet it's a safe gap and so [TS]

01:04:12   I started to collect these things [TS]

01:04:15   partly because I thought it was a [TS]

01:04:16   humorous like moments in in American [TS]

01:04:25   like psychological territory ago this [TS]

01:04:29   was a top there was a time when people [TS]

01:04:31   were worried like the only thing the [TS]

01:04:34   only value that it's a safe like that [TS]

01:04:36   would have is if your daughter is a [TS]

01:04:38   junkie right like if the if you really [TS]

01:04:42   if if what you're trying to protect from [TS]

01:04:44   burglars would fit into an electrical [TS]

01:04:46   outlet you don't have that much to lose [TS]

01:04:49   your right cuz you're describing a time [TS]

01:04:50   before stuff like USB drives unless you [TS]

01:04:54   have like a can of uncut diamonds and [TS]

01:04:56   some German bearer bonds [TS]

01:04:58   yeah it's mostly going to be capable of [TS]

01:05:00   putting even even German bearer bonds [TS]

01:05:01   wouldn't fit in there the only mean it's [TS]

01:05:03   basically like you can put your [TS]

01:05:04   engagement ring up here about your [TS]

01:05:06   rights to be too tall too tall [TS]

01:05:08   you can put an engagement ring and like [TS]

01:05:10   five hundred dollars in [TS]

01:05:12   one-hundred-dollar bills and a [TS]

01:05:14   Krugerrand maybe but it's before yeah i [TS]

01:05:18   mean these things are actually perfect [TS]

01:05:20   for hiding USB drives that are full of [TS]

01:05:22   all of the all of our government secrets [TS]

01:05:25   but that's not that's not what they were [TS]

01:05:27   made they were made in this earlier time [TS]

01:05:28   so i started to collect these when I [TS]

01:05:30   found them these like weird security [TS]

01:05:34   like cheapo security things and the only [TS]

01:05:38   use that they would have is yeah if you [TS]

01:05:39   had some teenage teenager who was [TS]

01:05:42   scavenging around looking for something [TS]

01:05:44   to steal out of your room but not a [TS]

01:05:46   burglar like a burglar is purple is [TS]

01:05:49   going to take your TV that's whatever [TS]

01:05:51   critics um so now I have a collection of [TS]

01:05:56   these things but i haven't installed [TS]

01:05:58   them because partly the appeal is that [TS]

01:06:01   they're in their packaging [TS]

01:06:03   oh and so you read the box and it's like [TS]

01:06:05   amazing security outlet box but it's not [TS]

01:06:11   quite beautiful enough or weird enough [TS]

01:06:14   to like build a display case and so [TS]

01:06:18   that's so weird is it look like you were [TS]

01:06:22   like you're curating garbage [TS]

01:06:24   it looked like a can of rightguard that [TS]

01:06:27   a no can I right guard but i really only [TS]

01:06:31   looking out doesn't it [TS]

01:06:32   and there's [TS]

01:06:33   here's that picture you okay i got a [TS]

01:06:35   neck pillow in there and I got a bent [TS]

01:06:37   fork it so yeah so I don't want to cut [TS]

01:06:41   its not beautiful [TS]

01:06:42   it's not something to display its [TS]

01:06:45   something that belongs in a not even a [TS]

01:06:47   spy museum but like in a you know like [TS]

01:06:50   to get a vacation home never paid me try [TS]

01:06:53   another thing you do to go like oh we [TS]

01:06:55   keep a couple hundred bucks around the [TS]

01:06:57   house right [TS]

01:06:58   yeah exactly it's like it belongs it's [TS]

01:06:59   where you keep the spare key to your [TS]

01:07:01   vacation home that's exactly what are [TS]

01:07:03   you put that code can you mix it in the [TS]

01:07:05   second refrigerator in the garage or [TS]

01:07:07   something like that some of these some [TS]

01:07:09   of those exact some of the things in my [TS]

01:07:11   collection are those fake rocks and the [TS]

01:07:15   hide-a-key it don't look like rocking [TS]

01:07:17   like rocking small and and so I've got a [TS]

01:07:19   little collection of these I'm i can't [TS]

01:07:20   display them and so they live in this [TS]

01:07:23   world where half of the time I put them [TS]

01:07:28   in some sort of like alright these are [TS]

01:07:31   practical items that i have yet to [TS]

01:07:33   install right they go over into the load [TS]

01:07:37   still like in a practical area in like [TS]

01:07:38   an honor to do list kind of area [TS]

01:07:41   well it's gonna get a chance on again [TS]

01:07:43   that's right afternoon i'm going to [TS]

01:07:44   install this outlet that doesn't work [TS]

01:07:46   it's it and so it but it's one of these [TS]

01:07:48   like are these things particles or waves [TS]

01:07:49   like depending on how i look at them [TS]

01:07:52   sometimes there are particles sometimes [TS]

01:07:54   our way to keep them in this box no I [TS]

01:07:58   can't [TS]

01:07:58   so then sometimes I move them out of the [TS]

01:08:00   practical like the the Q out of aging [TS]

01:08:03   area right and I put them back into a [TS]

01:08:06   thing like well these are these are [TS]

01:08:08   actually in these are collectibles [TS]

01:08:10   Eirias these are curios these are [TS]

01:08:13   something and so basically what they are [TS]

01:08:15   is that I'm gonna die and somebody is [TS]

01:08:18   going to come try to make sense of my [TS]

01:08:19   estate and there they like what is wrong [TS]

01:08:21   with this guy and every once in a while [TS]

01:08:24   ago about the things he has nothing of [TS]

01:08:27   value and hundreds of with the height of [TS]

01:08:29   that he never used [TS]

01:08:30   yeah I'll go put little things in them [TS]

01:08:32   just like just to as a mental [TS]

01:08:34   placeholder like I'm putting a tie tack [TS]

01:08:37   interesting as a kind of like stick it [TS]

01:08:41   note to remind myself that this is not [TS]

01:08:43   crazy [TS]

01:08:43   this is actually a practical thing up i [TS]

01:08:45   could put a hundred dollars in here [TS]

01:08:47   it's like yes you could put a hundred [TS]

01:08:49   dollars in there but that is not how we [TS]

01:08:51   do things now we are not you're not [TS]

01:08:53   trying to protect this hundred dollars [TS]

01:08:55   that you have this for a different [TS]

01:08:58   reason [TS]

01:08:59   and there are so many things in my world [TS]

01:09:02   need neither fish nor fowl as they say [TS]

01:09:04   that's right that fit into this that fit [TS]

01:09:07   into this category of like depending on [TS]

01:09:09   how I measure it it is a different that [TS]

01:09:13   the fundamental nature of the things [TS]

01:09:15   different and it never settles into one [TS]

01:09:17   category or another and so it's so [TS]

01:09:21   basically it goes in the project room [TS]

01:09:23   and it's in a box and it's floating [TS]

01:09:26   around and in also in that box is like I [TS]

01:09:29   mean I've told you that I have a [TS]

01:09:30   collection of wallets none of them I [TS]

01:09:33   never gonna use again but i cannot empty [TS]

01:09:36   them of their contents because the old [TS]

01:09:39   expired credit cards and ymca membership [TS]

01:09:41   cards and blockbuster video cards that [TS]

01:09:45   are in the wallets are our of a time [TS]

01:09:49   right [TS]

01:09:49   you'll be late breaking up the [TS]

01:09:50   collection but the problem is the [TS]

01:09:52   problem is no one is ever going to find [TS]

01:09:53   these wallets and and like a no-no [TS]

01:09:59   archaeologists is ever going to find [TS]

01:10:01   this wallet collection and be amazed by [TS]

01:10:04   the 1997 blockbuster video cards that [TS]

01:10:07   are in it the only archaeologists that [TS]

01:10:09   is interested in it or cares about it is [TS]

01:10:11   me and and the the thrust-to-weight [TS]

01:10:16   ratio of enjoyment vs anxiety is this is [TS]

01:10:23   this constant dance i'm in like I take [TS]

01:10:26   it out I look at it I go haha look at [TS]

01:10:28   blockbuster video card from 1997 and [TS]

01:10:31   then I go what is wrong with you and the [TS]

01:10:35   engaged the the entertainment that I'm [TS]

01:10:37   getting versus the like the suffering I [TS]

01:10:43   do not have whatever the gauges in a [TS]

01:10:46   person's mind that can calibrate like [TS]

01:10:49   okay this is causing me more suffer i [TS]

01:10:51   get more suffering than it is pleasure [TS]

01:10:52   like looking at the fingering this 1997 [TS]

01:10:57   blockbuster video card and feeling like [TS]

01:10:58   wow this is a thing from the past [TS]

01:11:00   test vs surveying the entire room and [TS]

01:11:05   feeling like I'm a crazy person and I am [TS]

01:11:09   surrounded by things that are emblematic [TS]

01:11:12   of craziness and if I if they were all [TS]

01:11:15   bond like what I ever would I ever lay [TS]

01:11:19   awake in bed at night and think how will [TS]

01:11:21   I ever finger a blockbuster video card [TS]

01:11:25   again like I wouldn't i would never [TS]

01:11:27   think about it again right after that my [TS]

01:11:30   friend was helping me clean the room she [TS]

01:11:31   was like why do you have all these [TS]

01:11:32   copies old copies of Vice magazine and I [TS]

01:11:35   was like well in the really early days [TS]

01:11:37   of Vice very early days it was pretty [TS]

01:11:41   interesting kind of transgressive pretty [TS]

01:11:43   funny she was like seriously seriously [TS]

01:11:47   yeah it's just like a stack of time [TS]

01:11:50   magazine's it really but you're not [TS]

01:11:53   anything to her that's probably will [TS]

01:11:55   during because you're not keeping them [TS]

01:11:56   because you could sell them in the [TS]

01:11:58   future she is that was going through her [TS]

01:11:59   mind is like that it would be like high [TS]

01:12:01   resale value or that there were you know [TS]

01:12:04   or even that there were recipes in them [TS]

01:12:07   right i mean if you keep things that [TS]

01:12:09   have recipes in them people understand [TS]

01:12:12   but if you keep things that are like [TS]

01:12:14   here's how to build a bookshelf [TS]

01:12:16   oh I don't want to throw that away [TS]

01:12:17   because that one day I might want to [TS]

01:12:18   build a bookshelf but the only reason [TS]

01:12:21   you would keep old vice magazines is if [TS]

01:12:23   you thought that the you know like hyper [TS]

01:12:26   snarky pop culture of 2004 was something [TS]

01:12:32   to cling to and I do not believe that [TS]

01:12:38   but I do have a stack of old vice [TS]

01:12:42   magazine that I that as she started to [TS]

01:12:44   move toward the garbage can I was like [TS]

01:12:46   whoa what whoa what if i wanted to take [TS]

01:12:49   some of those pictures out and put them [TS]

01:12:50   in picture frames [TS]

01:12:51   she was like I don't even know the words [TS]

01:12:54   you're using what are you talking about [TS]

01:12:57   i don't know there's good pictures in [TS]

01:13:00   there i can put them in picture frames [TS]

01:13:02   if their picture frames they would have [TS]

01:13:03   value because they would have been [TS]

01:13:06   because they would the putting them in [TS]

01:13:08   the frame [TS]

01:13:09   would be a thing that imparted value to [TS]

01:13:12   them right and I haven't done that yet [TS]

01:13:16   so they have potential energy they have [TS]

01:13:19   potential value i just have not [TS]

01:13:21   converted into kinetic value [TS]

01:13:23   yeah well it's also it's that you've you [TS]

01:13:25   mean you've done the basic step of [TS]

01:13:27   having a collection this is what [TS]

01:13:28   separates you from being like a [TS]

01:13:29   garden-variety hoarder is that you put [TS]

01:13:31   things in groups that's that's the [TS]

01:13:33   primary thing it's not a group it's not [TS]

01:13:35   a collection mi think that's really true [TS]

01:13:37   we are in this hotel we're staying at [TS]

01:13:39   the other night you know my daughter and [TS]

01:13:41   I always like to go out and explore you [TS]

01:13:43   know walk up and down the halls and [TS]

01:13:44   everything we walked by and there was a [TS]

01:13:45   reading room it was a meeting of [TS]

01:13:47   scrapbookers what you're going to say [TS]

01:13:50   furries and I was interested we looked [TS]

01:13:53   in there and and even if even this is no [TS]

01:13:56   disrespect but even in the room full of [TS]

01:13:58   people doing scrapbook [TS]

01:14:00   it looks like something from order [TS]

01:14:02   because they're real spread out and got [TS]

01:14:05   samples of different kinds of cool paper [TS]

01:14:06   to use to for your scrapbooking and [TS]

01:14:08   stuff like that so like you know if you [TS]

01:14:10   can make the step from like you know I [TS]

01:14:13   nothing it seems to be missing from your [TS]

01:14:14   system is the first step in the last [TS]

01:14:17   step all the middle steps are in great [TS]

01:14:18   shape right that there's something about [TS]

01:14:20   these steps the first time to let the [TS]

01:14:22   last step is and we all agreed it was [TS]

01:14:25   the best museum ever and the first step [TS]

01:14:28   is why would i want to put everything [TS]

01:14:32   else in between is flawless [TS]

01:14:34   no you haven't you you we think we can [TS]

01:14:36   agree i don't know if it's a technical [TS]

01:14:38   problem a time issue you have not [TS]

01:14:39   documented a lot of stuff as well as [TS]

01:14:41   you'd like when you turn it on ebay as a [TS]

01:14:43   collection but you know if you if you [TS]

01:14:45   have the presence of mind to put all [TS]

01:14:46   those certain kind of backstage passes [TS]

01:14:48   into this one cigar box I think you're [TS]

01:14:50   much further along and somebody who has [TS]

01:14:52   piles they move into bigger and bigger [TS]

01:14:53   boxes [TS]

01:14:54   well [TS]

01:14:56   thank you that makes me feel a lot [TS]

01:14:59   better looking at page on the five [TS]

01:15:01   levels of hoarding so tell me about it [TS]

01:15:04   wasn't what what level of my 10 level [TS]

01:15:07   one and all doors and staircases are [TS]

01:15:10   accessible know with the pets are always [TS]

01:15:13   important [TS]

01:15:13   normal household pet activity with light [TS]

01:15:16   light evidence of rodents or pests [TS]

01:15:18   what no one two three pet accidents [TS]

01:15:20   event evident clutter is not excessive [TS]

01:15:23   home has normal healthy housekeeping and [TS]

01:15:25   safe and healthy sanitation know what [TS]

01:15:27   you're told you no charge each you're [TS]

01:15:29   telling me that level one of hoarding [TS]

01:15:32   allows for two or three pet accidents [TS]

01:15:35   visible to on to someone visiting you [TS]

01:15:38   know for more let's oh no no no no I [TS]

01:15:46   can't even read this is so sad it's not [TS]

01:15:48   funny it's not know I don't have a shit [TS]

01:15:50   i don't have pets level four [TS]

01:15:52   oh my god it's bad it's bad it's okay [TS]

01:15:56   that I'm gonna real damage older than [TS]

01:15:58   six months mold and mildew inappropriate [TS]

01:16:01   use of appliances damage the two or more [TS]

01:16:03   sections of Ward faulty well this is so [TS]

01:16:05   sad [TS]

01:16:06   it's not funny it's not follow not it's [TS]

01:16:09   just you know I've had to deal with it [TS]

01:16:13   I find dy is like and k is like cats [TS]

01:16:16   eating your face give you one bullet [TS]

01:16:18   here on level 5 [TS]

01:16:21   ok [TS]

01:16:25   rodents insight mosquito or other insect [TS]

01:16:28   infestation and regional creators such [TS]

01:16:30   as squirrels inside the house [TS]

01:16:32   Oh kitchen and bathroom unusable due to [TS]

01:16:34   clutter occupants living and sleeping [TS]

01:16:35   outside so I think you're safe because [TS]

01:16:39   you you have that that's so sad i wanna [TS]

01:16:41   i want to just throw this whole episode [TS]

01:16:43   way that makes me so that i don't i [TS]

01:16:45   think you don't qualify on any of those [TS]

01:16:47   levels i bet you have odors but they're [TS]

01:16:49   not going you know the others i just [TS]

01:16:51   have the odor of freshly made chili but [TS]

01:16:54   the thing is I I'm sensible I do not [TS]

01:16:57   collect anything perishable i do clean [TS]

01:17:01   out the kitchen [TS]

01:17:03   I'm not a I'm not I'm not someone who is [TS]

01:17:05   like I can't throw away the sarcophagus [TS]

01:17:08   condo [TS]

01:17:09   okay here's the thing in tonight and [TS]

01:17:11   that that's not what i feel kind of bad [TS]

01:17:12   that we even did that but but because i [TS]

01:17:14   don't mean to make fun of my [TS]

01:17:15   understanding of hoarding is that when [TS]

01:17:17   it gets to it becomes a problem when you [TS]

01:17:21   can't function normally visa vie you [TS]

01:17:23   can't close and open doors [TS]

01:17:25   you can't walk through rooms like that's [TS]

01:17:27   that's the point i think what a lot of [TS]

01:17:29   people go like okay this is getting out [TS]

01:17:30   of control and of course you get more [TS]

01:17:32   and more ashamed about it you know what [TS]

01:17:33   people don't want people to know about [TS]

01:17:34   it but i think that that's when it gets [TS]

01:17:36   bad is like it starts with the path and [TS]

01:17:37   then pretty soon there's not a path and [TS]

01:17:39   that's I think when it becomes more than [TS]

01:17:41   just being cluttered but the but the [TS]

01:17:43   normal functioning this is that this is [TS]

01:17:45   the questioner this is the thing that I [TS]

01:17:47   that I struggle with because normal [TS]

01:17:50   functioning it I there are psychological [TS]

01:17:55   hallways in my mental house that I [TS]

01:18:01   cannot walk down because of the [TS]

01:18:04   newspaper that stacked in there right so [TS]

01:18:07   you've got you've gotta have you you've [TS]

01:18:09   got a visible hoarding problem where [TS]

01:18:12   there are like rodents and wallboard [TS]

01:18:14   damage but you can have that in your [TS]

01:18:17   mind house and there I don't god that's [TS]

01:18:22   so good i don't think there are rodents [TS]

01:18:24   in my mind house but there are [TS]

01:18:26   definitely newspapers tied with twine [TS]

01:18:30   and when you say like we need to get rid [TS]

01:18:35   of some of these newspapers are a fire [TS]

01:18:36   hazard I go we'll we'll all those [TS]

01:18:39   newspapers that that's going to be [TS]

01:18:41   important but you can put your hand to [TS]

01:18:43   stuff right this is what makes you so [TS]

01:18:44   interesting is like it isn't as though [TS]

01:18:46   you've gotta also the other thing i [TS]

01:18:48   think about when it's problematic is [TS]

01:18:49   like you can't find stuff you know you [TS]

01:18:52   feel like it might be here somewhere [TS]

01:18:53   this is no I don't like I know exactly [TS]

01:18:55   where everything is [TS]

01:18:57   Wow and that is that is part of what [TS]

01:18:59   feels like a like it's a it's a it's a [TS]

01:19:02   mind problem [TS]

01:19:03   somebody said to me the other day what [TS]

01:19:05   was it was a I they needed some key card [TS]

01:19:12   or some some thing some some little [TS]

01:19:17   piece of paper and I was like well [TS]

01:19:22   it's been nine months since that paper [TS]

01:19:25   arrived but I could mentally track it [TS]

01:19:30   like a like a UPS all I was like it had [TS]

01:19:33   a substantial tracking number [TS]

01:19:35   yeah and I was like that that was [TS]

01:19:36   originally on the piano then I went to [TS]

01:19:38   the kitchen table and it got put into a [TS]

01:19:41   box and taken upstairs into the project [TS]

01:19:45   room but then at a certain point that [TS]

01:19:47   box consolidated into another box and i [TS]

01:19:51   bet you it's right around the it's it's [TS]

01:19:57   it's in it's it's in the precambrian [TS]

01:19:59   layer between you know like that whole [TS]

01:20:04   series of menus I decided I was [TS]

01:20:08   collecting from from restaurants that [TS]

01:20:10   used French and appropriately haha and [TS]

01:20:14   but it's going to be it's going to [TS]

01:20:17   definitely be below all of the triple-a [TS]

01:20:21   batteries that I decided were still had [TS]

01:20:23   enough you know the half charge triple a [TS]

01:20:25   batteries and I decided still had enough [TS]

01:20:27   charge that i was going to keep them [TS]

01:20:28   together in case a technology was [TS]

01:20:30   developed you could put half discharge [TS]

01:20:33   batteries into and collect that energy [TS]

01:20:34   that's just that's just being green and [TS]

01:20:36   so I went upstairs and they were like [TS]

01:20:39   wait a minute why are you going upstairs [TS]

01:20:40   and i was like i'm pretty sure I know [TS]

01:20:42   where it is and they're like it never [TS]

01:20:43   went upstairs this piece of paper was [TS]

01:20:46   here on the piano is like no it's been [TS]

01:20:48   26 other locations what I want stairs [TS]

01:20:51   and I went into a box and put my hand on [TS]

01:20:55   the paper i reached in to the middle of [TS]

01:20:58   a stack of things in the box and pulled [TS]

01:21:00   out the thing your magic [TS]

01:21:02   well but it but but like I could be i [TS]

01:21:06   could be splitting the fucking Adam if i [TS]

01:21:10   didn't have but you know we only use [TS]

01:21:12   turns out we only use two percent of our [TS]

01:21:16   brain always that right up to 10 now [TS]

01:21:18   it's to the other the other ninety eight [TS]

01:21:21   percent is just it's just a it's just [TS]

01:21:24   cycling it's like the drive so it's a [TS]

01:21:28   like it on a dry cycle [TS]

01:21:30   anyway I don't want to be able to do [TS]

01:21:32   that I don't want to I don't want to [TS]

01:21:35   have that amount of organization in my [TS]

01:21:40   head because I do because I do feel like [TS]

01:21:45   I you know I'm like I'm like a I'm like [TS]

01:21:49   one of those guys that used to go from [TS]

01:21:51   village to village and sharpen your [TS]

01:21:53   cooking pots like tinker attention to [TS]

01:21:58   pick your new edge on that friday i got [TS]

01:22:03   a donkey with a straw hat with his ears [TS]

01:22:05   sticking out of it and I gotta and I [TS]

01:22:08   have a cart full of pot covered with [TS]

01:22:10   pots i think they can begin in the world [TS]

01:22:12   is you would be called a pan sharp I'm a [TS]

01:22:15   parent sharp i go from town to town and [TS]

01:22:19   it's just like Clank Clank Clank Clank [TS]

01:22:21   white people who don't know better going [TS]

01:22:23   to sharpen the handle you don't want to [TS]

01:22:25   do that you don't want to show our panel [TS]

01:22:27   on a pot no oh I got so many fucking [TS]

01:22:29   pots that guy doesn't know pan sharp [TS]

01:22:32   damn about it but back laughs I'm [TS]

01:22:38   allergic to Christmas trees too [TS]

01:22:39   yeah maybe she could have enough people [TS]

01:22:41   over to help you you know that's another [TS]

01:22:43   thing [TS]

01:22:44   well but that's that that's got to be [TS]

01:22:45   one of the steps people stopped coming [TS]

01:22:47   over all that's a huge step that's a [TS]

01:22:49   huge step yeah yeah people start feeling [TS]

01:22:51   sympathy for you when they used to make [TS]

01:22:53   it was funny [TS]

01:22:54   that's not a good thing that you know [TS]

01:22:57   when you get to be a middle-aged man and [TS]

01:22:58   people start to go from thinking you're [TS]

01:23:00   funny too thinking you're sympathetic [TS]

01:23:01   that's a bad sign it starts and stuffing [TS]

01:23:04   all I think you're super I know I'm [TS]

01:23:07   starting to look like Wilford Brimley [TS]

01:23:08   anyway that it fits haha yeah you don't [TS]

01:23:17   give yourself enough credit you should [TS]

01:23:20   i'm gonna say it again i don't want to [TS]

01:23:21   come out me to repeat a bit but I think [TS]

01:23:23   you should get somebody hit there [TS]

01:23:25   well I guess it depends which department [TS]

01:23:27   at UW call but maybe somebody is an [TS]

01:23:31   anthropologist might be interested in [TS]

01:23:32   helping you out because they look at it [TS]

01:23:34   that way they're not gonna go why do you [TS]

01:23:35   keep the Vice magazine they're going to [TS]

01:23:37   say how are you going to curate this how [TS]

01:23:39   what's the story that were telling here [TS]

01:23:41   if you got like five percent of your [TS]

01:23:43   collection [TS]

01:23:44   curated mm I'm just saying baby steps [TS]

01:23:48   the thing is everytime i also the [TS]

01:23:49   newspaper and there's an ad from the [TS]

01:23:51   University of Washington that it's [TS]

01:23:52   always there like looking for study [TS]

01:23:55   participants who always VD venereal [TS]

01:23:59   disease [TS]

01:24:00   yeah they're like dr you do you suffer [TS]

01:24:01   from herpes and and want to make ten [TS]

01:24:05   dollars a month I can you know I'm [TS]

01:24:07   getting sold i can't even follow the [TS]

01:24:09   rules for who's eligible before they [TS]

01:24:11   mention what it is that they're doing [TS]

01:24:13   yeah if you're between the ages of 18 35 [TS]

01:24:16   have been exposed to herpes on more than [TS]

01:24:17   one occasion but have a car loan it's [TS]

01:24:19   less than six months old and you think [TS]

01:24:20   you might be able to previously used in [TS]

01:24:21   regularly appeared in the event you [TS]

01:24:23   might get money from mesothelioma yeah I [TS]

01:24:25   don't want any of that I don't want you [TS]

01:24:27   I don't want to be part of those studies [TS]

01:24:28   magnetic forms to me that can be formed [TS]

01:24:34   [Music] [TS]

01:24:38   jack is the final word [TS]

01:24:41   [Music] [TS]