Ep. 131: "Subsequious"
00:00:00
◼
►
this episode of Roderick on the line is
[TS]
00:00:01
◼
►
sponsored by need a refined retailer and
[TS]
00:00:04
◼
►
lifestyle magazine for men each month
[TS]
00:00:06
◼
►
need sources and curate a selection of
[TS]
00:00:08
◼
►
exclusive products from brands around
[TS]
00:00:10
◼
►
the world to learn more about needs
[TS]
00:00:12
◼
►
first anniversary and explore their new
[TS]
00:00:14
◼
►
essentials collection
[TS]
00:00:15
◼
►
please visit need edition dot-com that's
[TS]
00:00:17
◼
►
need edition com shop
[TS]
00:00:24
◼
►
[Music]
[TS]
00:00:29
◼
►
hello and John hi Berlin all know
[TS]
00:00:35
◼
►
oh I'm a little sick I was exaggerating
[TS]
00:00:39
◼
►
how sick I was you've never been a
[TS]
00:00:42
◼
►
little sick
[TS]
00:00:43
◼
►
mm don't you feel pretty fast I mean
[TS]
00:00:45
◼
►
youryour you got a hockey stick curve my
[TS]
00:00:48
◼
►
yeah well the problem is that they're
[TS]
00:00:50
◼
►
also all colds all sicknesses and in the
[TS]
00:00:53
◼
►
same place and it doesn't matter what i
[TS]
00:00:54
◼
►
do if if the moment I start feeling sick
[TS]
00:00:58
◼
►
I lay in bed for three days it with a
[TS]
00:01:01
◼
►
warm blankie
[TS]
00:01:03
◼
►
uh-huh i'm still going to get just as
[TS]
00:01:05
◼
►
sick as if I went running naked in the
[TS]
00:01:07
◼
►
cold rain
[TS]
00:01:09
◼
►
Oh like there's nothing i can do once
[TS]
00:01:11
◼
►
I'm on the path culture like record our
[TS]
00:01:14
◼
►
with an upper respiratory infection
[TS]
00:01:16
◼
►
yeah yeah yeah that's right and so yeah
[TS]
00:01:20
◼
►
that's right so I died this year this
[TS]
00:01:23
◼
►
time when I started feeling sick I was
[TS]
00:01:25
◼
►
lying there in bed and I was like uh you
[TS]
00:01:29
◼
►
know what I'm gonna do this time I'm
[TS]
00:01:30
◼
►
just gonna I'm just gonna power through
[TS]
00:01:32
◼
►
it i'm gonna go do all the stuff I'm
[TS]
00:01:34
◼
►
going to be out in the cold i'm not
[TS]
00:01:36
◼
►
gonna wear a scarf I'm just gonna go for
[TS]
00:01:38
◼
►
yeah and here i am three days in and
[TS]
00:01:41
◼
►
just as sick as I would be if I were in
[TS]
00:01:44
◼
►
a bath right now so i got a second I
[TS]
00:01:48
◼
►
thought but not the cuttin out the
[TS]
00:01:50
◼
►
glutens it helps a little bit but you're
[TS]
00:01:52
◼
►
still going to get tax sometimes it is
[TS]
00:01:54
◼
►
it has helped immeasurably I think my
[TS]
00:01:57
◼
►
overall health
[TS]
00:01:58
◼
►
I was thinking about this last night i
[TS]
00:01:59
◼
►
have not since I stopped because I'm not
[TS]
00:02:02
◼
►
maintaining out perfect and your default
[TS]
00:02:06
◼
►
your default is i mean i'm guessing here
[TS]
00:02:08
◼
►
at least with me when I've been
[TS]
00:02:10
◼
►
successful with that it's been has never
[TS]
00:02:11
◼
►
been the night I mean I very briefly was
[TS]
00:02:14
◼
►
100% Atkins yeah back in the day as you
[TS]
00:02:17
◼
►
know and you made fun of me
[TS]
00:02:18
◼
►
yeah which is understandable but you
[TS]
00:02:20
◼
►
know for me it's generally like all
[TS]
00:02:22
◼
►
other things being equal if i have the
[TS]
00:02:23
◼
►
choice i'm gonna go for less rather than
[TS]
00:02:25
◼
►
more of the junk that I'm trying to
[TS]
00:02:27
◼
►
avoid which i think is a very same
[TS]
00:02:28
◼
►
pattern
[TS]
00:02:29
◼
►
yeah unfortunately the problem with this
[TS]
00:02:31
◼
►
cold is that it coincided perfectly with
[TS]
00:02:33
◼
►
halloween and so Halloween I've given
[TS]
00:02:36
◼
►
myself a bye
[TS]
00:02:38
◼
►
on Reese's peanut butter cups
[TS]
00:02:41
◼
►
oh man and so the sugar makes me feel
[TS]
00:02:45
◼
►
bad anyway I don't know that's just it
[TS]
00:02:48
◼
►
sounds like I'm it sounds like you're
[TS]
00:02:50
◼
►
watching turning into like bald men
[TS]
00:02:52
◼
►
talking about their colon alive so much
[TS]
00:02:55
◼
►
to discuss including my colon and I I
[TS]
00:02:57
◼
►
you know here's the thing that I am
[TS]
00:02:59
◼
►
finally having to accept and you're
[TS]
00:03:00
◼
►
right nothing could be more boring and
[TS]
00:03:02
◼
►
somebody realizing they're getting old
[TS]
00:03:03
◼
►
it's something everybody's gonna do in
[TS]
00:03:05
◼
►
know when I am fighting at all but
[TS]
00:03:10
◼
►
here's the thing you're younger and more
[TS]
00:03:13
◼
►
elastic you can do things that make a
[TS]
00:03:15
◼
►
difference in your life you could say
[TS]
00:03:17
◼
►
you could say like oh I'll get a little
[TS]
00:03:19
◼
►
more sleep want to think a little bit
[TS]
00:03:21
◼
►
less i'll eat some carrots and you know
[TS]
00:03:24
◼
►
within a day or two you notice a
[TS]
00:03:25
◼
►
difference and it's it's it's like you
[TS]
00:03:28
◼
►
know I would remember hearing is a kid
[TS]
00:03:29
◼
►
like oh you know ground broker broker
[TS]
00:03:31
◼
►
hip and it takes a really long time to
[TS]
00:03:34
◼
►
heal when you're an old person with a
[TS]
00:03:35
◼
►
broken hip
[TS]
00:03:36
◼
►
you know it's just it's that if not it i
[TS]
00:03:38
◼
►
would say a death sentence but in a
[TS]
00:03:40
◼
►
mobility sentence that was a killer the
[TS]
00:03:42
◼
►
broken hip
[TS]
00:03:43
◼
►
yeah i'm a lot of people don't come back
[TS]
00:03:45
◼
►
line and stuff goes downhill after that
[TS]
00:03:46
◼
►
scene grandmother when she got old
[TS]
00:03:48
◼
►
enough she broke her femur
[TS]
00:03:50
◼
►
oh he managed to break your femur oh
[TS]
00:03:52
◼
►
thank you might regret it because it's
[TS]
00:03:53
◼
►
only in your body
[TS]
00:03:54
◼
►
she broke it like buttering some toast
[TS]
00:03:56
◼
►
right she like leaned into the toes
[TS]
00:03:58
◼
►
known so much worse that's so pathetic
[TS]
00:04:01
◼
►
she's sitting on my stoner uh got busted
[TS]
00:04:04
◼
►
my cousins bed and he had this kind of
[TS]
00:04:06
◼
►
like AB like it was kind of slippery
[TS]
00:04:08
◼
►
sort of bedspread and she's sitting
[TS]
00:04:10
◼
►
there she's very very very slowly slid
[TS]
00:04:15
◼
►
off the bed landed on her knee and broke
[TS]
00:04:17
◼
►
her from her femur
[TS]
00:04:20
◼
►
well I suppose that's better than
[TS]
00:04:22
◼
►
spontaneous combustion
[TS]
00:04:24
◼
►
I don't know right i mean that's got a
[TS]
00:04:27
◼
►
finality to it
[TS]
00:04:28
◼
►
did you ever go through a phase where
[TS]
00:04:29
◼
►
you research spontaneous combustion
[TS]
00:04:31
◼
►
times because i know i did of course of
[TS]
00:04:34
◼
►
course now of the many kinds of you know
[TS]
00:04:37
◼
►
sasquatches and yet he's out there
[TS]
00:04:38
◼
►
that's when I thought a lot about I want
[TS]
00:04:40
◼
►
to circle back to that but i wanna talk
[TS]
00:04:42
◼
►
here's the other thing for me it's like
[TS]
00:04:44
◼
►
so like who like you and the Reese's
[TS]
00:04:47
◼
►
peanut butter cups is that kinda like a
[TS]
00:04:48
◼
►
one cigarette situation for you but can
[TS]
00:04:50
◼
►
you really
[TS]
00:04:51
◼
►
away from that after a couple days uh
[TS]
00:04:53
◼
►
well you enjoy your hands John i do it
[TS]
00:04:56
◼
►
remains to be seen i enjoy a chocolate
[TS]
00:04:59
◼
►
candy particularly one where your
[TS]
00:05:01
◼
►
chocolate has gotten in someone else's
[TS]
00:05:03
◼
►
peanut butter right or conversely if
[TS]
00:05:07
◼
►
your peanut butter gets in someone
[TS]
00:05:08
◼
►
else's chocolate
[TS]
00:05:10
◼
►
those are situations that I relish where
[TS]
00:05:14
◼
►
you'll be walking along with a chocolate
[TS]
00:05:15
◼
►
bar and you'll bump into a pretty girl
[TS]
00:05:17
◼
►
and she'll have an open jar of peanut
[TS]
00:05:19
◼
►
butter and it'll be like what the and
[TS]
00:05:23
◼
►
here the forum
[TS]
00:05:24
◼
►
I never thought this would happen to me
[TS]
00:05:25
◼
►
up but but what's nice about the small
[TS]
00:05:30
◼
►
size Halloween candies now the
[TS]
00:05:34
◼
►
children's portion is that i can get i
[TS]
00:05:38
◼
►
can i can have a little mini buffet
[TS]
00:05:40
◼
►
because it you know about me also that I
[TS]
00:05:42
◼
►
like a sample I like a sampler platter
[TS]
00:05:44
◼
►
like a flight I went into I went into a
[TS]
00:05:47
◼
►
fancy-pants restaurant here the other
[TS]
00:05:49
◼
►
day where everybody had mustaches and i
[TS]
00:05:52
◼
►
sat down and there was all this stuff
[TS]
00:05:54
◼
►
about kale & P nope eyelashes and all
[TS]
00:05:58
◼
►
this bullshit and then there was at the
[TS]
00:06:00
◼
►
bottom it was like a platter right
[TS]
00:06:03
◼
►
platter you can get it for for you could
[TS]
00:06:07
◼
►
get it for six you could get 48 or
[TS]
00:06:10
◼
►
something like that platter 48 huh
[TS]
00:06:13
◼
►
and I looked at everything on the menu
[TS]
00:06:15
◼
►
and I was like well I don't want any of
[TS]
00:06:17
◼
►
that I want this platter but there's
[TS]
00:06:19
◼
►
only going to be two of us the other
[TS]
00:06:20
◼
►
person hadn't arrived yet and the
[TS]
00:06:22
◼
►
waitress was like well it's a lot
[TS]
00:06:24
◼
►
platter for is a lot of food and I was
[TS]
00:06:29
◼
►
like alright i'll look at the menu again
[TS]
00:06:30
◼
►
I looked one more time and then she came
[TS]
00:06:32
◼
►
back and was like I i want the platter
[TS]
00:06:34
◼
►
bring the platter
[TS]
00:06:35
◼
►
I want the samples you know I want a
[TS]
00:06:37
◼
►
little bit everything
[TS]
00:06:39
◼
►
yeah I mean that sounds like we'll be
[TS]
00:06:40
◼
►
back in the discriminatory days a real
[TS]
00:06:42
◼
►
estate that sounds like steering is very
[TS]
00:06:44
◼
►
normative to tell you how much you
[TS]
00:06:45
◼
►
should be eating I know when the problem
[TS]
00:06:47
◼
►
was or what she meant what she should
[TS]
00:06:50
◼
►
have said was it comes with a bucket of
[TS]
00:06:53
◼
►
potatoes
[TS]
00:06:54
◼
►
awesome you have helped when the platter
[TS]
00:06:59
◼
►
got their childs and pale the vegetables
[TS]
00:07:02
◼
►
and the meat portions were all like
[TS]
00:07:04
◼
►
quickly find for two people it was just
[TS]
00:07:06
◼
►
that had a bucket of potatoes just gonna
[TS]
00:07:10
◼
►
matter but last night I sat down i sat
[TS]
00:07:15
◼
►
down at the kitchen table after
[TS]
00:07:16
◼
►
everybody had gone to bed and I had a
[TS]
00:07:18
◼
►
one little reese's peanut butter cup and
[TS]
00:07:21
◼
►
add one little butterfinger and had one
[TS]
00:07:23
◼
►
little crackle and one little mr goodbar
[TS]
00:07:27
◼
►
and one little Hershey person bar with
[TS]
00:07:30
◼
►
almonds and that amount of candy was
[TS]
00:07:35
◼
►
probably the equivalent I mean it what
[TS]
00:07:39
◼
►
wouldn't even wouldn't even come close
[TS]
00:07:41
◼
►
to the amount of garbage that's in a
[TS]
00:07:43
◼
►
single small blizzard from Dairy Queen
[TS]
00:07:45
◼
►
but I had a little bit of each candy and
[TS]
00:07:49
◼
►
then I did I felt I mean honestly I
[TS]
00:07:52
◼
►
walked around the house the rest of the
[TS]
00:07:53
◼
►
night in a state of total craving but at
[TS]
00:07:58
◼
►
the same time I noon there was not i had
[TS]
00:08:00
◼
►
had one of every possible kind of little
[TS]
00:08:04
◼
►
I that was not a second one that was
[TS]
00:08:07
◼
►
going to help me at that point uh huh so
[TS]
00:08:09
◼
►
that's the little the little many many
[TS]
00:08:11
◼
►
bars actually are good for me although
[TS]
00:08:14
◼
►
I'm opposed to them in principle
[TS]
00:08:15
◼
►
yeah we did full-size bars this year god
[TS]
00:08:18
◼
►
bless you and I figured it's time to
[TS]
00:08:20
◼
►
start giving back to the community
[TS]
00:08:22
◼
►
here's my problem and like this is a
[TS]
00:08:24
◼
►
slow dawning and painful realization
[TS]
00:08:26
◼
►
that I just have to reread realize like
[TS]
00:08:28
◼
►
every few days is that this is not going
[TS]
00:08:31
◼
►
to get better
[TS]
00:08:32
◼
►
none of this i'm doing Louie CK sweep
[TS]
00:08:33
◼
►
down my entire body of the spoiler
[TS]
00:08:35
◼
►
loving about this is getting going to
[TS]
00:08:37
◼
►
get better we'll see i keep I keep
[TS]
00:08:39
◼
►
thinking that maybe when our alien
[TS]
00:08:43
◼
►
overlords finally arrived and make them
[TS]
00:08:46
◼
►
so I'm sorry when they finally make
[TS]
00:08:47
◼
►
themselves known who and when they make
[TS]
00:08:50
◼
►
themselves known by virtue of coming to
[TS]
00:08:52
◼
►
me first and saying we need you to talk
[TS]
00:08:55
◼
►
to the other humans on our behalf
[TS]
00:08:57
◼
►
the first thing I'm going to say is put
[TS]
00:09:00
◼
►
me in one of those TSA scanners and
[TS]
00:09:04
◼
►
figure out everything that's wrong with
[TS]
00:09:06
◼
►
me all the torn ligaments and all the
[TS]
00:09:08
◼
►
little you know scar tissues you really
[TS]
00:09:12
◼
►
get those moles like that John the moles
[TS]
00:09:14
◼
►
and the enlarged prostate and all the
[TS]
00:09:17
◼
►
end all this sick
[TS]
00:09:18
◼
►
missin the and what is presumably like a
[TS]
00:09:20
◼
►
like a thousand dormant viruses that are
[TS]
00:09:24
◼
►
all just sort of sitting around the
[TS]
00:09:26
◼
►
lunch table taking turns deciding which
[TS]
00:09:28
◼
►
one is gonna get all the stuff we don't
[TS]
00:09:30
◼
►
even have a way of metering at this
[TS]
00:09:31
◼
►
point that's right in there and they
[TS]
00:09:33
◼
►
have the technology maybe involving time
[TS]
00:09:35
◼
►
travel to let you know like on and based
[TS]
00:09:37
◼
►
on this here's a pie graph on how is
[TS]
00:09:38
◼
►
probably gonna end for you
[TS]
00:09:39
◼
►
I field well no I think they're going to
[TS]
00:09:41
◼
►
scan me and then they're gonna do like a
[TS]
00:09:43
◼
►
top-to-bottom scan and just eradicate
[TS]
00:09:45
◼
►
all problems
[TS]
00:09:47
◼
►
Oh what
[TS]
00:09:51
◼
►
and then everything all the viruses are
[TS]
00:09:54
◼
►
gone all the scar tissue is mitigated
[TS]
00:09:56
◼
►
all the cells or little plump that happy
[TS]
00:09:59
◼
►
little childlike cells and then fuck
[TS]
00:10:03
◼
►
i'll be their spokesperson I'll do
[TS]
00:10:05
◼
►
whatever they want
[TS]
00:10:06
◼
►
that's a nice good faith gesture I feel
[TS]
00:10:09
◼
►
like that would be you know like I don't
[TS]
00:10:11
◼
►
want I don't want I presumably don't
[TS]
00:10:13
◼
►
want Bitcoin or whatever from them who I
[TS]
00:10:16
◼
►
don't even know what a universal
[TS]
00:10:18
◼
►
spaceship will buy probably just shit
[TS]
00:10:21
◼
►
the company store but if they can make
[TS]
00:10:24
◼
►
my cells fat and plump again
[TS]
00:10:26
◼
►
yeah I mean I i I'm so I'm getting
[TS]
00:10:29
◼
►
details magazine in the mail now because
[TS]
00:10:31
◼
►
somebody signed up for details
[TS]
00:10:33
◼
►
I think as a prank i don't know where it
[TS]
00:10:36
◼
►
came from but i'm getting details and it
[TS]
00:10:38
◼
►
comes in and it's got like five perfume
[TS]
00:10:41
◼
►
ads and you get but you can see the
[TS]
00:10:42
◼
►
fumes coming out of the mailbox is in
[TS]
00:10:44
◼
►
your hands
[TS]
00:10:45
◼
►
it just smells like the just like who
[TS]
00:10:48
◼
►
smells like that who are the people that
[TS]
00:10:49
◼
►
buy this stuff but on the cover of
[TS]
00:10:52
◼
►
details this month is a picture of brad
[TS]
00:10:54
◼
►
pitt and i'm looking at Brad Pitt as I'm
[TS]
00:10:57
◼
►
walking back from the mailbox to the
[TS]
00:10:59
◼
►
house with my copy of details that I
[TS]
00:11:01
◼
►
minute before i even get in the house I
[TS]
00:11:03
◼
►
tear all the perfume ads out of it from
[TS]
00:11:05
◼
►
looking at him like Brad Pitt is older
[TS]
00:11:07
◼
►
than me he looks great
[TS]
00:11:10
◼
►
he still looks like the best-looking guy
[TS]
00:11:13
◼
►
at the hardware store is a really
[TS]
00:11:15
◼
►
good-looking guy and I'm standing there
[TS]
00:11:16
◼
►
with a friend with a lady friend and I'm
[TS]
00:11:20
◼
►
like look at him he looks amazing and
[TS]
00:11:22
◼
►
she's like you know he's you know he
[TS]
00:11:24
◼
►
dyes his beard right
[TS]
00:11:26
◼
►
oh I was like what Brad Pitt doesn't die
[TS]
00:11:28
◼
►
is beer that's that's really the angel
[TS]
00:11:30
◼
►
and she said look at his beard its all
[TS]
00:11:33
◼
►
full of just for men and I looked at his
[TS]
00:11:36
◼
►
beard and it did look a little suspect
[TS]
00:11:37
◼
►
it looked like James Lipton's beard huh
[TS]
00:11:40
◼
►
that is a very that is that beard is
[TS]
00:11:43
◼
►
suspicious on so many levels right and
[TS]
00:11:45
◼
►
so then I lunch and she was like he dyes
[TS]
00:11:47
◼
►
his hair too and I was like no not Brad
[TS]
00:11:49
◼
►
Pitt now and i looked at he does he does
[TS]
00:11:52
◼
►
here so I don't know what that tells me
[TS]
00:11:56
◼
►
he's still we still can climb a rope or
[TS]
00:11:59
◼
►
whatever and you know that doesn't that
[TS]
00:12:01
◼
►
you don't throw out the baby with the
[TS]
00:12:02
◼
►
bath i'm sure there's still a lot of
[TS]
00:12:03
◼
►
things you can learn from details
[TS]
00:12:05
◼
►
magazine there's all that well there's a
[TS]
00:12:07
◼
►
lot I can learn from brad pitt I feel
[TS]
00:12:09
◼
►
still here and I really need to have a
[TS]
00:12:12
◼
►
sit down like that guy seems
[TS]
00:12:13
◼
►
down-to-earth yeah I'm you know who
[TS]
00:12:16
◼
►
knows he's made a lot of questionable
[TS]
00:12:17
◼
►
decisions but that's what I proves he's
[TS]
00:12:19
◼
►
probably down to earth but i do feel
[TS]
00:12:21
◼
►
like you know his handsome this alone
[TS]
00:12:23
◼
►
would get him an audience with me
[TS]
00:12:26
◼
►
we're watching the captain america movie
[TS]
00:12:28
◼
►
and I i did I don't know why I do this
[TS]
00:12:31
◼
►
when I say anything to my daughter ever
[TS]
00:12:32
◼
►
was like yeah that guy right there you
[TS]
00:12:34
◼
►
know a lot of people considered him
[TS]
00:12:36
◼
►
Robert Redford to be the handsomest man
[TS]
00:12:39
◼
►
and in the world at one point and even
[TS]
00:12:41
◼
►
as the words were coming out of my mouth
[TS]
00:12:42
◼
►
I was like this is not going to make any
[TS]
00:12:44
◼
►
sense at all because even in he was very
[TS]
00:12:46
◼
►
rugged looking
[TS]
00:12:47
◼
►
yes he had a certain let's just say you
[TS]
00:12:51
◼
►
know there's certain kinds of stars that
[TS]
00:12:52
◼
►
would not have come up in the HD era em
[TS]
00:12:56
◼
►
you got your Bradford's you got exactly
[TS]
00:12:58
◼
►
get your your-your-your edward james
[TS]
00:13:01
◼
►
olmos 'as you got sure
[TS]
00:13:03
◼
►
Cameron Diaz's like we're like HD is not
[TS]
00:13:07
◼
►
surpassingly kind to them
[TS]
00:13:09
◼
►
uh-huh you see you see some of those uh
[TS]
00:13:11
◼
►
see some of those flaws
[TS]
00:13:13
◼
►
yeah it's very topographical yeah and so
[TS]
00:13:16
◼
►
yeah I like the idea of the pink the
[TS]
00:13:20
◼
►
pink plump cells though now when you
[TS]
00:13:21
◼
►
pick up details did you start with the
[TS]
00:13:23
◼
►
table contest you flip to obviously
[TS]
00:13:25
◼
►
remove all the acts what are you looking
[TS]
00:13:27
◼
►
for recipes because i read i read every
[TS]
00:13:30
◼
►
magazine from front to back right this
[TS]
00:13:32
◼
►
is that when i was when i was a little
[TS]
00:13:34
◼
►
kid my mom got my mom had a subscription
[TS]
00:13:36
◼
►
to Time magazine and she would give me
[TS]
00:13:37
◼
►
the time magazine's and her instruction
[TS]
00:13:41
◼
►
at first was you don't have to read
[TS]
00:13:44
◼
►
every article just read the things that
[TS]
00:13:46
◼
►
are interesting to you and so I was like
[TS]
00:13:49
◼
►
okay alright and so I would have put
[TS]
00:13:50
◼
►
through and you know back then it was
[TS]
00:13:52
◼
►
just like page after page of pictures of
[TS]
00:13:54
◼
►
henry kissinger talking to make george
[TS]
00:13:56
◼
►
bundy but then there would be a picture
[TS]
00:13:59
◼
►
of some bottles we have super hot there
[TS]
00:14:02
◼
►
be a picture of somebody on a motorcycle
[TS]
00:14:03
◼
►
over there would be a picture of some
[TS]
00:14:05
◼
►
black September terrorists leaning over
[TS]
00:14:08
◼
►
a balcony in the olympic village or
[TS]
00:14:11
◼
►
there would be some you know the last
[TS]
00:14:13
◼
►
feature on howard he's is long toenails
[TS]
00:14:16
◼
►
and super interesting i want to attend
[TS]
00:14:19
◼
►
the corner where you get a Time magazine
[TS]
00:14:21
◼
►
like that anyway so I started reading
[TS]
00:14:23
◼
►
time I started reading just the Articles
[TS]
00:14:26
◼
►
that interested me and then I remember
[TS]
00:14:29
◼
►
feeling a real sense of accomplishment
[TS]
00:14:30
◼
►
when I said to myself when I began
[TS]
00:14:34
◼
►
reading it from front to back without
[TS]
00:14:37
◼
►
regard for whether or not the article
[TS]
00:14:39
◼
►
seemed interesting and that was when I
[TS]
00:14:42
◼
►
really started learning about interest
[TS]
00:14:44
◼
►
rates but so now when i get a copy of
[TS]
00:14:48
◼
►
details i open it up and I do not
[TS]
00:14:49
◼
►
presume i do not prejudice the feature
[TS]
00:14:52
◼
►
article i do not presume that the but
[TS]
00:14:54
◼
►
that any of the stuff at the front of
[TS]
00:14:56
◼
►
the book is not interesting to me i just
[TS]
00:14:57
◼
►
read it all the way through details
[TS]
00:15:01
◼
►
takes about 10 minutes
[TS]
00:15:03
◼
►
true the latest copy of Wired you made
[TS]
00:15:08
◼
►
me maybe surprised or not surprised to
[TS]
00:15:10
◼
►
find also has perfume ads in it but
[TS]
00:15:12
◼
►
which I was I felt like writing a letter
[TS]
00:15:15
◼
►
to them like do of all the magazines in
[TS]
00:15:18
◼
►
the world yours has to be the most
[TS]
00:15:19
◼
►
chemically sensitive thought is it's
[TS]
00:15:22
◼
►
like space perfume
[TS]
00:15:23
◼
►
no it's some kind of Acts body spray
[TS]
00:15:26
◼
►
because wire is trying to appeal to bros
[TS]
00:15:28
◼
►
because bros are who make up San
[TS]
00:15:30
◼
►
Francisco now yeah fair enough
[TS]
00:15:33
◼
►
there was a fantastic editorial in the
[TS]
00:15:35
◼
►
latest a wired about how machines should
[TS]
00:15:38
◼
►
be free of spyware or of pre-programmed
[TS]
00:15:43
◼
►
pre pre programmed government nipples or
[TS]
00:15:48
◼
►
whatever lot of good stuff and wired I
[TS]
00:15:51
◼
►
get a lot of my that's how I even talked
[TS]
00:15:54
◼
►
to will we
[TS]
00:15:54
◼
►
I just read wired and then I Benny and I
[TS]
00:15:56
◼
►
have all this common ground and cats and
[TS]
00:15:59
◼
►
cats and it's our you must says we
[TS]
00:16:02
◼
►
should have artificial intelligence we
[TS]
00:16:05
◼
►
should or shouldn't I thought I heard
[TS]
00:16:06
◼
►
something i don't i don't like tech news
[TS]
00:16:08
◼
►
i don't like news i think i heard that
[TS]
00:16:10
◼
►
Elon Musk I understand you follow
[TS]
00:16:12
◼
►
periodically he has concerned that the
[TS]
00:16:14
◼
►
eyes are going to take over
[TS]
00:16:16
◼
►
well I think the I think the concern is
[TS]
00:16:18
◼
►
that in order to you know bit currently
[TS]
00:16:23
◼
►
every device is has this built-in a
[TS]
00:16:27
◼
►
weakness with a built-in flaw which is
[TS]
00:16:30
◼
►
that the copyright protectors don't want
[TS]
00:16:32
◼
►
us to be able to listen to music so they
[TS]
00:16:35
◼
►
built in a way that they can keep us
[TS]
00:16:36
◼
►
from listening to music and the cops
[TS]
00:16:39
◼
►
don't want us to be able to make 3d guns
[TS]
00:16:44
◼
►
with our 3d printers you're talking
[TS]
00:16:46
◼
►
about like the apple thing like the
[TS]
00:16:47
◼
►
Apple not gonna help break into your
[TS]
00:16:49
◼
►
phone and bright and so over time as we
[TS]
00:16:52
◼
►
seed more and more control to our
[TS]
00:16:54
◼
►
machines if we continue to allow them to
[TS]
00:16:57
◼
►
all be built with backdoor you know
[TS]
00:17:02
◼
►
backdoor weaknesses or backdoor a
[TS]
00:17:04
◼
►
permissions right higher level
[TS]
00:17:07
◼
►
permissions that are granted to someone
[TS]
00:17:09
◼
►
else besides us the owners then you've
[TS]
00:17:12
◼
►
got AI things running all around you
[TS]
00:17:14
◼
►
don't know who they're answering to and
[TS]
00:17:17
◼
►
that is a dangerous condition and it was
[TS]
00:17:19
◼
►
very was really food for thought I was
[TS]
00:17:21
◼
►
like that's right that's what I don't
[TS]
00:17:23
◼
►
want that's why that's why there's no
[TS]
00:17:25
◼
►
computers in my new suburban oh that's
[TS]
00:17:29
◼
►
probably smart you got an AM radio
[TS]
00:17:30
◼
►
signals against entre got an AM radio
[TS]
00:17:33
◼
►
and and I'm learning a lot about for you
[TS]
00:17:36
◼
►
know Frank Sinatra was a sex symbol like
[TS]
00:17:38
◼
►
every time I hear his voice come over
[TS]
00:17:41
◼
►
the over the am radio over the single
[TS]
00:17:43
◼
►
speaker in my truck which is all the
[TS]
00:17:46
◼
►
time because he is the king of AM radio
[TS]
00:17:50
◼
►
i think this guy was sexy people wanted
[TS]
00:17:54
◼
►
to kiss the Skeletor of a like this baby
[TS]
00:17:57
◼
►
Skeletor is what he looks like to I
[TS]
00:18:01
◼
►
don't see it
[TS]
00:18:01
◼
►
I don't see and I don't hear it in his
[TS]
00:18:03
◼
►
voice he doesn't is not appealing you
[TS]
00:18:05
◼
►
was really young he was super skinny
[TS]
00:18:07
◼
►
when he was young and kind of freakish
[TS]
00:18:09
◼
►
lakenya that we're curly hair back when
[TS]
00:18:11
◼
►
he had hair
[TS]
00:18:12
◼
►
see now i don't i'm not i'm not a body
[TS]
00:18:14
◼
►
normative no rise as one thing I think
[TS]
00:18:17
◼
►
we can all say about John Roberts he's
[TS]
00:18:18
◼
►
not body normally not body normative but
[TS]
00:18:20
◼
►
at the same time he is a row dent I'm
[TS]
00:18:23
◼
►
creek Dean Martin sexy guy
[TS]
00:18:28
◼
►
yeah we even Jerry Lewis would have a
[TS]
00:18:31
◼
►
certain amount of enthusiasm in bed
[TS]
00:18:32
◼
►
presumably but yeah that's how to make a
[TS]
00:18:37
◼
►
lady lap right yeah Frank Sinatra like
[TS]
00:18:42
◼
►
was just like little bony knuckles my
[TS]
00:18:48
◼
►
problem is I fall back on convenience
[TS]
00:18:49
◼
►
food sometimes sometimes I think I'm
[TS]
00:18:51
◼
►
gonna treat myself and that fucking KFC
[TS]
00:18:55
◼
►
/ taco bell near our house is always
[TS]
00:18:59
◼
►
it's always there you however you choose
[TS]
00:19:01
◼
►
the KFC and how often do you choose the
[TS]
00:19:03
◼
►
talk about what one does not choose a
[TS]
00:19:07
◼
►
KFC one ends up at a KFC guys are you
[TS]
00:19:10
◼
►
here in the door I I real KFC generally
[TS]
00:19:13
◼
►
you don't go over the Taco Bell side of
[TS]
00:19:15
◼
►
the line
[TS]
00:19:15
◼
►
no no that the menu there is so
[TS]
00:19:19
◼
►
overwhelming it's really really weird
[TS]
00:19:20
◼
►
given that footprint of this place it's
[TS]
00:19:22
◼
►
crazy how many different combinations of
[TS]
00:19:24
◼
►
some kind of meat and sauce they have
[TS]
00:19:26
◼
►
its really well but you know like
[TS]
00:19:27
◼
►
yesterday I did this thing that I here's
[TS]
00:19:31
◼
►
the thing I've never going to KFC and
[TS]
00:19:33
◼
►
not regret it and I know that
[TS]
00:19:35
◼
►
yeah I know I'm gonna regret it and it's
[TS]
00:19:38
◼
►
the thing is like I really short on time
[TS]
00:19:40
◼
►
I've made my thought processes like okay
[TS]
00:19:42
◼
►
I did it again it's three o'clock and i
[TS]
00:19:44
◼
►
haven't eaten and if I go home not
[TS]
00:19:46
◼
►
having eaten i'll be cranky right and I
[TS]
00:19:49
◼
►
and so it's dumb i should have eaten
[TS]
00:19:50
◼
►
something halfway decent should eat some
[TS]
00:19:52
◼
►
beef jerky two hours earlier but I say
[TS]
00:19:55
◼
►
oh I'll just go in and get this little
[TS]
00:19:57
◼
►
thing yeah and that the effect that food
[TS]
00:20:00
◼
►
has on me setting aside anything it does
[TS]
00:20:02
◼
►
to my gastrointestinal system it just it
[TS]
00:20:04
◼
►
takes me out i need like a two-hour nap
[TS]
00:20:06
◼
►
after i eat that food popcorn chicken to
[TS]
00:20:08
◼
►
your popcorn trick and
[TS]
00:20:10
◼
►
I guess sometimes i get a colonel strip
[TS]
00:20:13
◼
►
like some strips i might get the the
[TS]
00:20:15
◼
►
10-pack of the the bites get something
[TS]
00:20:18
◼
►
small that can eat one literally walking
[TS]
00:20:20
◼
►
to my house in something between the
[TS]
00:20:21
◼
►
strip in a bite like yesterday we went
[TS]
00:20:23
◼
►
to see the movie was seen moving my
[TS]
00:20:24
◼
►
daughter and I and good movie and and
[TS]
00:20:28
◼
►
why did this thing to do periodically
[TS]
00:20:29
◼
►
where you get this you get this little
[TS]
00:20:31
◼
►
platter that comes with curly fries and
[TS]
00:20:34
◼
►
chicken strips
[TS]
00:20:35
◼
►
uh-huh and I SAT there in a movie
[TS]
00:20:37
◼
►
theater ate the entire thing
[TS]
00:20:38
◼
►
uh I mean and and like every single by
[TS]
00:20:42
◼
►
time i just filled with self-loathing
[TS]
00:20:44
◼
►
because I know what's gonna happen then
[TS]
00:20:45
◼
►
i came home and i slept for an hour and
[TS]
00:20:47
◼
►
a half me in the middle in the middle of
[TS]
00:20:49
◼
►
leaving daylight savings that's
[TS]
00:20:51
◼
►
practically dark and i'm still laying on
[TS]
00:20:52
◼
►
the bed groaning hmm i don't know i
[TS]
00:20:55
◼
►
don't point it's just it's just that my
[TS]
00:20:57
◼
►
recovery I recoveries are not what they
[TS]
00:21:00
◼
►
used to be
[TS]
00:21:01
◼
►
well it's so so i'm not i'm not
[TS]
00:21:05
◼
►
depressed anymore i think that because
[TS]
00:21:08
◼
►
of the gluten you remember number one
[TS]
00:21:10
◼
►
night when I would talk about like I was
[TS]
00:21:12
◼
►
just in a fog and I couldn't see to the
[TS]
00:21:14
◼
►
end of my hand and I didn't know it
[TS]
00:21:16
◼
►
sounds like you would I mean not as
[TS]
00:21:18
◼
►
necessarily as a palliative or something
[TS]
00:21:20
◼
►
but like you would find yourself eating
[TS]
00:21:22
◼
►
a very large bowl of something perhaps
[TS]
00:21:24
◼
►
even in the middle of the night
[TS]
00:21:26
◼
►
yeah just to you know just to keep like
[TS]
00:21:28
◼
►
the just to keep the barking sucks but
[TS]
00:21:32
◼
►
you know now that now that now that it's
[TS]
00:21:35
◼
►
been a long time since I've been in in a
[TS]
00:21:38
◼
►
deep depression it has revealed my sort
[TS]
00:21:41
◼
►
of latent normal level of constant
[TS]
00:21:44
◼
►
depression to be just my old friend like
[TS]
00:21:47
◼
►
I'm back with my old friend walking
[TS]
00:21:49
◼
►
hand-in-hand with my pal
[TS]
00:21:52
◼
►
normal depression and so I so last night
[TS]
00:21:57
◼
►
I'm reading a wings of goals the
[TS]
00:22:01
◼
►
magazine of naval aviators that i still
[TS]
00:22:04
◼
►
get because my dad was a lifetime member
[TS]
00:22:07
◼
►
of the association of naval aviators
[TS]
00:22:11
◼
►
and it's one of those groups that
[TS]
00:22:12
◼
►
doesn't want somebody dies that they
[TS]
00:22:14
◼
►
don't take their name off their
[TS]
00:22:16
◼
►
subscription list just keeps any of the
[TS]
00:22:18
◼
►
magazine of Naval Aviation so I'm
[TS]
00:22:21
◼
►
reading about it have you know I I enjoy
[TS]
00:22:23
◼
►
getting it because it tells me all about
[TS]
00:22:25
◼
►
the latest technologies you know they're
[TS]
00:22:28
◼
►
firing harpoon missiles from c-130 is
[TS]
00:22:30
◼
►
now it's very exciting
[TS]
00:22:32
◼
►
it's not that's a cargo plane isn't yeah
[TS]
00:22:34
◼
►
yeah i would like to be innovative
[TS]
00:22:36
◼
►
I was like why weren't they doing this
[TS]
00:22:38
◼
►
before you could put a lot of missiles
[TS]
00:22:40
◼
►
on that that's what the leftover KFC in
[TS]
00:22:43
◼
►
have you figured it out but anyway i'm
[TS]
00:22:45
◼
►
reading you know one of my favorite
[TS]
00:22:46
◼
►
things about this magazine is it it felt
[TS]
00:22:49
◼
►
all the old guys the 80 90 year old guys
[TS]
00:22:52
◼
►
when they sit down to write the
[TS]
00:22:55
◼
►
reminiscences you know they were right
[TS]
00:22:57
◼
►
about the time that they that they
[TS]
00:23:00
◼
►
scored that they put them down 50 in one
[TS]
00:23:05
◼
►
day or whatever or telling shot.0 out of
[TS]
00:23:07
◼
►
the sky with a 45
[TS]
00:23:08
◼
►
shot.0 out of the sky over 45 her or you
[TS]
00:23:11
◼
►
know strafed some locomotives outside of
[TS]
00:23:13
◼
►
Incheon or whatever it was that they
[TS]
00:23:15
◼
►
were doing back in the old days when
[TS]
00:23:19
◼
►
they were flying mechanical airplanes
[TS]
00:23:21
◼
►
the bristling with machine guns and they
[TS]
00:23:24
◼
►
had to actually see the thing they were
[TS]
00:23:25
◼
►
shooting it wasn't just some dot over
[TS]
00:23:27
◼
►
her horizon and these kids know some of
[TS]
00:23:31
◼
►
these people lived these extraordinary
[TS]
00:23:33
◼
►
lives in their use where they you know
[TS]
00:23:38
◼
►
imagine being in 50 dog fights before
[TS]
00:23:44
◼
►
you're thirty right i mean you know
[TS]
00:23:47
◼
►
think about some of these guys i mean
[TS]
00:23:48
◼
►
there's a guy the world's oldest naval
[TS]
00:23:52
◼
►
aviator is this guy who's a hundred and
[TS]
00:23:54
◼
►
three years old and he retired from the
[TS]
00:23:58
◼
►
Air Force as a over time so i retired
[TS]
00:24:02
◼
►
from the Navy as a as a rear-admiral in
[TS]
00:24:06
◼
►
1958 wow he's still alive and yet i'm
[TS]
00:24:13
◼
►
reading this magazine and I'm like this
[TS]
00:24:15
◼
►
Wow like think about his life think
[TS]
00:24:17
◼
►
about retiring from the Navy as an
[TS]
00:24:19
◼
►
admiral in 58 and ever since 58 10 years
[TS]
00:24:23
◼
►
before I was born
[TS]
00:24:24
◼
►
when he's been walking around people
[TS]
00:24:25
◼
►
still call him Admiral but he's been
[TS]
00:24:28
◼
►
alive longer sense retired from the Navy
[TS]
00:24:32
◼
►
then he was that he was old when he
[TS]
00:24:36
◼
►
retired from the Navy and yes
[TS]
00:24:41
◼
►
who gives a fuck nobody's ever heard of
[TS]
00:24:44
◼
►
this guy he's gonna he's probably dead
[TS]
00:24:46
◼
►
by now since the time the magazine came
[TS]
00:24:47
◼
►
out and wherever he lives
[TS]
00:24:50
◼
►
probably somewhere in san diego there's
[TS]
00:24:52
◼
►
an obituary of him in the newspaper and
[TS]
00:24:54
◼
►
then uh whatever his kids have a picture
[TS]
00:24:58
◼
►
of him and that his grandkids are like I
[TS]
00:24:59
◼
►
think that was my grandfather and then
[TS]
00:25:01
◼
►
his great gang kids don't have never
[TS]
00:25:04
◼
►
heard of them
[TS]
00:25:06
◼
►
who cares who cares about anything my IP
[TS]
00:25:11
◼
►
I can feel my colon my-my-my am what's
[TS]
00:25:15
◼
►
that blue bulb up your butt that the
[TS]
00:25:18
◼
►
doctor touches and that all in here at
[TS]
00:25:20
◼
►
your prostate
[TS]
00:25:21
◼
►
yeah I can feel mine in larger I can
[TS]
00:25:24
◼
►
feel like it's not i don't even have to
[TS]
00:25:25
◼
►
it's not impacting me yet I can just
[TS]
00:25:27
◼
►
feel it down there like well now's my
[TS]
00:25:30
◼
►
yeah right he's waking up he takes his
[TS]
00:25:32
◼
►
little stocking cap off and he's like Oh
[TS]
00:25:33
◼
►
better get going and who cares who gives
[TS]
00:25:39
◼
►
a shit who cares about me that I was
[TS]
00:25:43
◼
►
gonna I you know I've got a lot of
[TS]
00:25:45
◼
►
theories that I feel like there's a part
[TS]
00:25:48
◼
►
of me that feels like well what if I got
[TS]
00:25:49
◼
►
cancer tomorrow and they told me i had a
[TS]
00:25:51
◼
►
month to live
[TS]
00:25:52
◼
►
I would I would I hire somebody to sit
[TS]
00:25:54
◼
►
and transcribe all my theories so that
[TS]
00:25:56
◼
►
the that the world could benefit from
[TS]
00:25:58
◼
►
them before i went and then when I was
[TS]
00:26:00
◼
►
like who cares who gives a shit
[TS]
00:26:02
◼
►
nobody's going to remember either way
[TS]
00:26:04
◼
►
nobody cares about what I think and also
[TS]
00:26:06
◼
►
who cares what happens to people even if
[TS]
00:26:09
◼
►
my theories are super-good who gets the
[TS]
00:26:11
◼
►
ship actually improve your diet
[TS]
00:26:14
◼
►
yeah little friend back I got I got out
[TS]
00:26:17
◼
►
of my card today in front of a cafe and
[TS]
00:26:20
◼
►
a an attractive young woman was walking
[TS]
00:26:22
◼
►
past and she looked at me and I looked
[TS]
00:26:24
◼
►
at her and for whatever reason it will
[TS]
00:26:26
◼
►
we didn't break eye contact you normally
[TS]
00:26:29
◼
►
you look at somebody and you kind of a
[TS]
00:26:30
◼
►
half like you have a scott simpson smile
[TS]
00:26:32
◼
►
and then you look away real fast
[TS]
00:26:34
◼
►
in case your eyes are hurting them but
[TS]
00:26:38
◼
►
for whatever reason we both kept looking
[TS]
00:26:39
◼
►
at each other and then she said
[TS]
00:26:41
◼
►
nice hat was like wow thank you and I
[TS]
00:26:46
◼
►
didn't have I didn't get back to her
[TS]
00:26:49
◼
►
with a like I like your scarf or
[TS]
00:26:51
◼
►
whenever it all happened so fast
[TS]
00:26:53
◼
►
nice hat she said and all I could say
[TS]
00:26:55
◼
►
was thank you
[TS]
00:26:57
◼
►
and then we were past and I thought
[TS]
00:27:02
◼
►
about filing a harassment suit but more
[TS]
00:27:04
◼
►
importantly who cares she's gonna she
[TS]
00:27:11
◼
►
doesn't remember me even now
[TS]
00:27:13
◼
►
yeah that's a that's another thing in
[TS]
00:27:15
◼
►
the fascinating story of getting older
[TS]
00:27:17
◼
►
is being a non-combatant in the sexual
[TS]
00:27:21
◼
►
revolution became the progress i've got
[TS]
00:27:25
◼
►
a Greybeard and I swear to you there are
[TS]
00:27:27
◼
►
people who walked past me and probably
[TS]
00:27:29
◼
►
think to themselves look good for a
[TS]
00:27:31
◼
►
sixty-year-old this episode of rock on
[TS]
00:27:35
◼
►
the line is sponsored by need need is a
[TS]
00:27:38
◼
►
refined retailer and lifestyle magazine
[TS]
00:27:40
◼
►
for men
[TS]
00:27:41
◼
►
you can learn more about them at their
[TS]
00:27:42
◼
►
site need edition dot-com now here's the
[TS]
00:27:45
◼
►
thing about need they're not a catalog
[TS]
00:27:47
◼
►
there not some overwhelming retailer
[TS]
00:27:49
◼
►
juggernaut know this is a whole new
[TS]
00:27:51
◼
►
thought technology every month the folks
[TS]
00:27:54
◼
►
that need source and curate a careful
[TS]
00:27:56
◼
►
collection of exclusive products from
[TS]
00:27:57
◼
►
brands around the world and then they
[TS]
00:28:00
◼
►
present that collection in a monthly
[TS]
00:28:01
◼
►
editorial a lot like what you'd see in a
[TS]
00:28:03
◼
►
contemporary men's magazine
[TS]
00:28:04
◼
►
so you're not going to see 50 pages of
[TS]
00:28:06
◼
►
ironic t-shirts or some flash gallery of
[TS]
00:28:08
◼
►
wackadoodle pan man pants no need does
[TS]
00:28:11
◼
►
all the heavy lifting by hand selecting
[TS]
00:28:13
◼
►
just the coolest and classiest pieces of
[TS]
00:28:15
◼
►
menswear and accessories that they can
[TS]
00:28:17
◼
►
find it is understated it is classic it
[TS]
00:28:19
◼
►
is just beautifully simple to peruse
[TS]
00:28:21
◼
►
purchase and owned the thing is this
[TS]
00:28:24
◼
►
month need celebrated its first
[TS]
00:28:25
◼
►
anniversary by launching a redesign and
[TS]
00:28:28
◼
►
introducing a terrific new line called
[TS]
00:28:30
◼
►
need essentials and that's an ongoing
[TS]
00:28:32
◼
►
ever-changing collection of men's
[TS]
00:28:34
◼
►
everyday staple items including stuff
[TS]
00:28:36
◼
►
for grooming and travel they got
[TS]
00:28:38
◼
►
literature coffee even items for your
[TS]
00:28:39
◼
►
desk you really need to check this out
[TS]
00:28:41
◼
►
is super cool so in celebration of needs
[TS]
00:28:43
◼
►
first anniversary guess what
[TS]
00:28:44
◼
►
Roger online listeners get some special
[TS]
00:28:46
◼
►
freebies
[TS]
00:28:47
◼
►
after you place your order with need
[TS]
00:28:49
◼
►
send an email to hello at need edition
[TS]
00:28:52
◼
►
calm with the subject line ping-pong and
[TS]
00:28:55
◼
►
they'll send you a whole bunch of cool
[TS]
00:28:56
◼
►
extra stuff stuff like field notes
[TS]
00:28:58
◼
►
t-shirt socks maybe even one of those
[TS]
00:29:00
◼
►
limited edition need baseball caps
[TS]
00:29:02
◼
►
who knows to learn more and to browse
[TS]
00:29:04
◼
►
needs current monthly collection
[TS]
00:29:06
◼
►
please visit need edition comments need
[TS]
00:29:08
◼
►
edition dot-com and our thanks go out to
[TS]
00:29:11
◼
►
need for sponsoring Roger online they
[TS]
00:29:13
◼
►
are making the world a lot more handsome
[TS]
00:29:15
◼
►
like there are young people who cannot
[TS]
00:29:17
◼
►
distinguish me from a sixty-year-old mhm
[TS]
00:29:20
◼
►
and ultimately they're right right i
[TS]
00:29:24
◼
►
mean what's the difference between me
[TS]
00:29:25
◼
►
and a sixty-year-old just a little bit
[TS]
00:29:28
◼
►
of just ten percent more vitality
[TS]
00:29:30
◼
►
oh yeah i mean when you see those guys
[TS]
00:29:32
◼
►
like you know if you don't have to be
[TS]
00:29:34
◼
►
Jack LaLanne you know just those kind of
[TS]
00:29:36
◼
►
guys who are real real puckish they can
[TS]
00:29:38
◼
►
they're hopping around and helping
[TS]
00:29:40
◼
►
helping move chairs and stuff in the
[TS]
00:29:42
◼
►
violin i'm just sitting on the floor
[TS]
00:29:44
◼
►
great take a photo of my daughter
[TS]
00:29:48
◼
►
onstage go back to sleep
[TS]
00:29:50
◼
►
it's not i've definitely reached a point
[TS]
00:29:52
◼
►
it's really dispiriting it's dispiriting
[TS]
00:29:54
◼
►
III and the thing is is part of me
[TS]
00:29:56
◼
►
thinks I should you know we should make
[TS]
00:29:57
◼
►
a bunch of changes i should make but I
[TS]
00:29:59
◼
►
should I should have a personal mental
[TS]
00:30:02
◼
►
and physical and emotional and maybe
[TS]
00:30:05
◼
►
spiritual revolution I should just hit
[TS]
00:30:07
◼
►
reboot and started all over
[TS]
00:30:09
◼
►
yeah really nice but then not now now
[TS]
00:30:11
◼
►
you're just a pathetic nut because you
[TS]
00:30:13
◼
►
can't change it
[TS]
00:30:14
◼
►
I mean you're good i mean though the
[TS]
00:30:16
◼
►
only reboot that's gonna work is if the
[TS]
00:30:18
◼
►
aliens have tsa backscatter technology
[TS]
00:30:22
◼
►
to fix all your cells and make them
[TS]
00:30:24
◼
►
plump again that's pretty appealing i
[TS]
00:30:26
◼
►
think i think the way to make that an
[TS]
00:30:28
◼
►
interesting story so the way I know your
[TS]
00:30:29
◼
►
comic fan it's kinda like they're
[TS]
00:30:31
◼
►
Galactus in your silver surfer and
[TS]
00:30:33
◼
►
instead of actually eating the earth and
[TS]
00:30:34
◼
►
consuming all of its energy they're
[TS]
00:30:35
◼
►
going to do something something i'm
[TS]
00:30:37
◼
►
thinking they throw you a bone they make
[TS]
00:30:39
◼
►
you aware of the backscatter scanner and
[TS]
00:30:41
◼
►
say you know what the usual season you
[TS]
00:30:45
◼
►
got maybe let's say 22 episodes and
[TS]
00:30:46
◼
►
classic TV season they say there's 20
[TS]
00:30:49
◼
►
things about you that can and eventually
[TS]
00:30:52
◼
►
will kill you and this one's free
[TS]
00:30:55
◼
►
well and the thing is some of them are
[TS]
00:30:56
◼
►
just annoying right like yeah i mean
[TS]
00:30:58
◼
►
like each week they could solve they can
[TS]
00:31:01
◼
►
one really fucked up mole that you
[TS]
00:31:03
◼
►
weren't even worried about right i'm
[TS]
00:31:05
◼
►
just saying they give you a little bit
[TS]
00:31:06
◼
►
every week I know you don't marry the
[TS]
00:31:07
◼
►
cow if you can get the milk in the
[TS]
00:31:09
◼
►
backscatter scanner so this is the ID i
[TS]
00:31:11
◼
►
don't know what the aliens want from us
[TS]
00:31:13
◼
►
is the thing right there they clearly
[TS]
00:31:15
◼
►
don't want they're not here to take all
[TS]
00:31:17
◼
►
six billion of us with them right where
[TS]
00:31:21
◼
►
they put them over they do
[TS]
00:31:23
◼
►
yeah right so if they're gonna take any
[TS]
00:31:25
◼
►
of us and put us through the the plumper
[TS]
00:31:28
◼
►
there's it
[TS]
00:31:31
◼
►
there's got to be some trade you know
[TS]
00:31:34
◼
►
you're going to end up being a pet
[TS]
00:31:35
◼
►
somewhere right or you're here it's not
[TS]
00:31:38
◼
►
going to end well for you
[TS]
00:31:40
◼
►
you see I don't mean to sound like I'm
[TS]
00:31:41
◼
►
obsessing over this but i think if you
[TS]
00:31:43
◼
►
look at one thing that's super
[TS]
00:31:45
◼
►
interesting to me about the last say two
[TS]
00:31:46
◼
►
or three hundred years of changes in an
[TS]
00:31:49
◼
►
actual technology not dating apps but
[TS]
00:31:51
◼
►
actual technology isn't everything
[TS]
00:31:52
◼
►
changes when you can measure something
[TS]
00:31:55
◼
►
major measure something you didn't know
[TS]
00:31:57
◼
►
was measurable and when you get a name
[TS]
00:31:59
◼
►
for something that you didn't know
[TS]
00:32:00
◼
►
existed if I think that's to me that is
[TS]
00:32:03
◼
►
super interesting there's think about
[TS]
00:32:05
◼
►
the special ed class when you were even
[TS]
00:32:07
◼
►
in high school and when I was in I look
[TS]
00:32:09
◼
►
back now and I think about the kids that
[TS]
00:32:10
◼
►
were in the quote-unquote special
[TS]
00:32:12
◼
►
education class and it seems fucking
[TS]
00:32:14
◼
►
medieval the mix of kids in there
[TS]
00:32:16
◼
►
they're probably kids that were dyslexic
[TS]
00:32:17
◼
►
in there there are kids who had profound
[TS]
00:32:20
◼
►
developmental disabilities their kids
[TS]
00:32:22
◼
►
never probably had a severe and a TD
[TS]
00:32:25
◼
►
right and certainly a whole range of
[TS]
00:32:27
◼
►
spectrum stuff going on but they just
[TS]
00:32:29
◼
►
want this one group which is like you
[TS]
00:32:30
◼
►
don't fit with the rest of the school
[TS]
00:32:31
◼
►
because we didn't have a way to measure
[TS]
00:32:33
◼
►
it we didn't have a name for it and I
[TS]
00:32:35
◼
►
think for a lot of power in technology
[TS]
00:32:37
◼
►
and maybe I'm getting too sci-fi here is
[TS]
00:32:38
◼
►
figuring out like maybe their shit that
[TS]
00:32:40
◼
►
the aliens can come and measure and have
[TS]
00:32:42
◼
►
a name for that we don't even know about
[TS]
00:32:44
◼
►
including maybe let's just say our
[TS]
00:32:46
◼
►
natural resources there may be natural
[TS]
00:32:47
◼
►
resources here that they can measure
[TS]
00:32:49
◼
►
have a name for that we aren't even
[TS]
00:32:50
◼
►
aware of their I serve them well in
[TS]
00:32:52
◼
►
their in their a GM GMC rvs in another
[TS]
00:32:57
◼
►
galaxy and you could be the person you
[TS]
00:32:58
◼
►
don't need to know where it is
[TS]
00:33:00
◼
►
you just need to be you need to lay is
[TS]
00:33:01
◼
►
that fucking shit you need to get in
[TS]
00:33:02
◼
►
there and silver surfer that situation
[TS]
00:33:04
◼
►
and help them get the things that we
[TS]
00:33:05
◼
►
don't have a name for but I end up my
[TS]
00:33:07
◼
►
end up feeling like
[TS]
00:33:09
◼
►
remember remember in red dawn the mayor
[TS]
00:33:11
◼
►
of the town remember the mayor of the
[TS]
00:33:13
◼
►
town who are looking up no room in the
[TS]
00:33:16
◼
►
movie Red Dawn he's a minor character
[TS]
00:33:19
◼
►
yeah but the mayor of the town it's some
[TS]
00:33:21
◼
►
kind of Montana town and he's just
[TS]
00:33:23
◼
►
trying to on the one hand he's trying to
[TS]
00:33:27
◼
►
help right the Russians are here the new
[TS]
00:33:29
◼
►
boss or the Cubans for the new boss of
[TS]
00:33:32
◼
►
the Montana dolly played by laying the
[TS]
00:33:34
◼
►
great Lena Smith course was like me he's
[TS]
00:33:37
◼
►
a character actor love that guy he's
[TS]
00:33:39
◼
►
just trying to be just trying to keep
[TS]
00:33:41
◼
►
their keep the lid on everything he's
[TS]
00:33:44
◼
►
still the Mayor they're still dealing
[TS]
00:33:46
◼
►
with him you know they didn't just take
[TS]
00:33:48
◼
►
him out and shoot him
[TS]
00:33:49
◼
►
they're still dealing with him
[TS]
00:33:50
◼
►
contemptuously but they're dealing with
[TS]
00:33:53
◼
►
him as they go about their own project
[TS]
00:33:56
◼
►
is kinda like a union right kind of
[TS]
00:33:58
◼
►
situation exactly is a union right he
[TS]
00:34:00
◼
►
kinda comes in he's like he's subsequent
[TS]
00:34:03
◼
►
is an East but but ultimately like you
[TS]
00:34:05
◼
►
sense that he has he has some altruistic
[TS]
00:34:10
◼
►
goals in mind he wants to be wants to
[TS]
00:34:13
◼
►
help the citizens of his town who by
[TS]
00:34:17
◼
►
liaison with his new masters but he ends
[TS]
00:34:20
◼
►
up being on the wrong side because he's
[TS]
00:34:23
◼
►
yeah he's a beast vichy yeah right yeah
[TS]
00:34:25
◼
►
and the problem with being the the
[TS]
00:34:28
◼
►
liaison to our alien masters is you
[TS]
00:34:30
◼
►
don't want to be vichy and the end and
[TS]
00:34:34
◼
►
the end you look and I don't understand
[TS]
00:34:37
◼
►
their thought technologies enough to
[TS]
00:34:39
◼
►
know whether they would they would
[TS]
00:34:41
◼
►
recognize that trade in me and they
[TS]
00:34:44
◼
►
would they would let me believe that I
[TS]
00:34:47
◼
►
had complete autonomy in decision-making
[TS]
00:34:50
◼
►
this minimalist I totally see what
[TS]
00:34:52
◼
►
you're saying you don't really have any
[TS]
00:34:54
◼
►
and you don't have any real bargaining
[TS]
00:34:56
◼
►
power you don't have anybody to stock
[TS]
00:34:58
◼
►
them you don't even understand what
[TS]
00:34:59
◼
►
they're trying to do and they're just
[TS]
00:35:01
◼
►
letting you have an extra crust of bread
[TS]
00:35:02
◼
►
in this case might be removing them all
[TS]
00:35:04
◼
►
from your back so your you get on you
[TS]
00:35:06
◼
►
get on that television you use sir paul
[TS]
00:35:08
◼
►
international television broadcast you
[TS]
00:35:10
◼
►
say hello i am I have been empowered by
[TS]
00:35:13
◼
►
our new alien masters to explain to you
[TS]
00:35:16
◼
►
what is going on i am a human like you
[TS]
00:35:20
◼
►
and I'm not under their thought control
[TS]
00:35:21
◼
►
i am just here as it as a translator an
[TS]
00:35:25
◼
►
intermediary to speak human language to
[TS]
00:35:28
◼
►
you but who knows what theyre who knows
[TS]
00:35:31
◼
►
if it got a finger and they're tickling
[TS]
00:35:33
◼
►
your prostate or whatever but you don't
[TS]
00:35:35
◼
►
even know about think about Jodie Foster
[TS]
00:35:38
◼
►
in the in that uh and that contact movie
[TS]
00:35:41
◼
►
but it's her there
[TS]
00:35:44
◼
►
she's she's up in imaginary space and
[TS]
00:35:47
◼
►
she's talking to her
[TS]
00:35:48
◼
►
the ghost of her dad was a lot of angles
[TS]
00:35:53
◼
►
for sugar a lot of angles so they're
[TS]
00:35:55
◼
►
like yeah we're gonna remove this mole
[TS]
00:35:56
◼
►
from your back inside here like oh
[TS]
00:35:58
◼
►
that's thank you can use that sure the
[TS]
00:36:01
◼
►
other plumping yourselves up
[TS]
00:36:03
◼
►
meanwhile they're mining the the molten
[TS]
00:36:06
◼
►
gold at the core of the earth shall we
[TS]
00:36:08
◼
►
talked about this before
[TS]
00:36:09
◼
►
nobody offers you money for something
[TS]
00:36:11
◼
►
unless they think they're gonna get more
[TS]
00:36:12
◼
►
value out of it then you're getting out
[TS]
00:36:15
◼
►
actually I think it's a good idea in
[TS]
00:36:16
◼
►
your in your liaison to be a little bit
[TS]
00:36:18
◼
►
suspicious but maybe not let him know
[TS]
00:36:20
◼
►
you're suspicious
[TS]
00:36:20
◼
►
I'm just trying to figure out what their
[TS]
00:36:22
◼
►
angle is you know their angle would be I
[TS]
00:36:25
◼
►
can't imagine that it's anything other
[TS]
00:36:27
◼
►
than mining the molten gold at the core
[TS]
00:36:29
◼
►
of the earth unless it is i mean it just
[TS]
00:36:32
◼
►
seems so unlikely that they but they
[TS]
00:36:34
◼
►
want us for food it's like food is a
[TS]
00:36:36
◼
►
simple problem seems like a uniquely
[TS]
00:36:38
◼
►
earth problem
[TS]
00:36:41
◼
►
yeah right i mean all right I'm did i
[TS]
00:36:42
◼
►
tell you when i was in Kansas City
[TS]
00:36:44
◼
►
I went to I went to oklahoma joe's BBQ
[TS]
00:36:48
◼
►
and I had a tweetup with some with some
[TS]
00:36:50
◼
►
very nice people in Kansas City and one
[TS]
00:36:53
◼
►
of the people there was a was a young
[TS]
00:36:55
◼
►
man in glasses and a baseball hat who
[TS]
00:36:59
◼
►
works in tech nice guy intelligent guy
[TS]
00:37:01
◼
►
and halfway through the meal halfway
[TS]
00:37:04
◼
►
through my brisket meal i say to him
[TS]
00:37:07
◼
►
like do what you want to BBQ by his BBQ
[TS]
00:37:10
◼
►
or whatever he's like no I mostly eat
[TS]
00:37:12
◼
►
silence
[TS]
00:37:15
◼
►
and I was like we've been standing here
[TS]
00:37:17
◼
►
talking for 20 minutes and only now you
[TS]
00:37:20
◼
►
tell me that you mostly eat Soylent that
[TS]
00:37:22
◼
►
stuff that's like a like a space shake
[TS]
00:37:25
◼
►
yeah it's it's another San Francisco bro
[TS]
00:37:28
◼
►
technology bunch of bros down there but
[TS]
00:37:31
◼
►
hippie bros so we're like if you if you
[TS]
00:37:34
◼
►
look at all the ingredients all the all
[TS]
00:37:36
◼
►
the news interview an open-source
[TS]
00:37:37
◼
►
nutritional drink it is yes all the
[TS]
00:37:40
◼
►
nutrients that you need
[TS]
00:37:42
◼
►
they just buy them raw from chemical
[TS]
00:37:44
◼
►
companies and combine them in a grey
[TS]
00:37:47
◼
►
metamucil style shake and you can just
[TS]
00:37:52
◼
►
seriously mostly just eat this paste and
[TS]
00:37:57
◼
►
it has all the nutrients that you need
[TS]
00:37:58
◼
►
and off you go from universe rich life
[TS]
00:38:01
◼
►
you've solved the food problem so you
[TS]
00:38:04
◼
►
can spend more time coding dating apps
[TS]
00:38:07
◼
►
the Creator says I spent a hundred fifty
[TS]
00:38:11
◼
►
four dollars and sixty-three cents a
[TS]
00:38:12
◼
►
month to your diet of 11,000 kilo joules
[TS]
00:38:15
◼
►
in kilojoules kilojoules per day that's
[TS]
00:38:18
◼
►
a thousand joules
[TS]
00:38:20
◼
►
hmm who do you think it's quite medical
[TS]
00:38:24
◼
►
food medical food food
[TS]
00:38:27
◼
►
he said in a brisket for him now and so
[TS]
00:38:29
◼
►
no he didn't want me brisket and you
[TS]
00:38:31
◼
►
know when he was leaving he was gonna
[TS]
00:38:32
◼
►
live forever you could tell you can see
[TS]
00:38:34
◼
►
the look in his eyes that he knew he was
[TS]
00:38:35
◼
►
going to live forever and i have to say
[TS]
00:38:37
◼
►
as much of an epicurean as I am as much
[TS]
00:38:41
◼
►
of a person who lives who truly lives
[TS]
00:38:44
◼
►
who sucks the marrow out of life who it
[TS]
00:38:47
◼
►
appeals to me to wake up every morning
[TS]
00:38:50
◼
►
and then drinking shake with all of my
[TS]
00:38:52
◼
►
kilojoules imminent you know ten years
[TS]
00:38:55
◼
►
ago I would have said maybe because
[TS]
00:38:57
◼
►
because there is something very
[TS]
00:38:58
◼
►
appealing onstage on this is this is a
[TS]
00:39:00
◼
►
really depressing episode i'm tired of
[TS]
00:39:02
◼
►
thinking about I'm tired of thinking
[TS]
00:39:04
◼
►
about starting a particular about feel
[TS]
00:39:06
◼
►
about me coppers are back at ya go ahead
[TS]
00:39:10
◼
►
tired of thinking about food and tired
[TS]
00:39:12
◼
►
of buying food i'm tired of preparing
[TS]
00:39:14
◼
►
food i'm tired of cleaning up after I've
[TS]
00:39:17
◼
►
made the food and i'm tired of throwing
[TS]
00:39:18
◼
►
leftover food i'm tired of food i'm
[TS]
00:39:21
◼
►
tired of thinking about it and even when
[TS]
00:39:23
◼
►
its food that makes me happy it doesn't
[TS]
00:39:24
◼
►
make me that happy I'm tired of thinking
[TS]
00:39:26
◼
►
about food no why do you have to keep
[TS]
00:39:28
◼
►
clicking
[TS]
00:39:28
◼
►
you're fucking toenails they just keep
[TS]
00:39:30
◼
►
growing yeah yeah an irregular shapes
[TS]
00:39:33
◼
►
increasing you know I've said this
[TS]
00:39:34
◼
►
before but i really miss the the
[TS]
00:39:36
◼
►
symmetry of my youth my body was more
[TS]
00:39:38
◼
►
symmetrical starting to feel more and
[TS]
00:39:41
◼
►
more off-center did you have a
[TS]
00:39:44
◼
►
symmetrical body
[TS]
00:39:45
◼
►
no not a hundred percent but i mean i
[TS]
00:39:47
◼
►
think i could pass
[TS]
00:39:48
◼
►
yeah yeah but but yeah I'll ok see
[TS]
00:39:51
◼
►
anything is I i haven't researched this
[TS]
00:39:53
◼
►
but silent and so and so this is
[TS]
00:39:56
◼
►
something this is a new technology that
[TS]
00:39:58
◼
►
people are exploring because why it's
[TS]
00:40:02
◼
►
crisp it's just solved all the problems
[TS]
00:40:04
◼
►
that you just described
[TS]
00:40:05
◼
►
yes don't have to go can't you can make
[TS]
00:40:07
◼
►
more apps yet you don't have to you
[TS]
00:40:10
◼
►
don't have to eat kale you don't have to
[TS]
00:40:11
◼
►
really even deal with taste for
[TS]
00:40:14
◼
►
something to worry about costly dates
[TS]
00:40:16
◼
►
you just you just chug your gray a like
[TS]
00:40:21
◼
►
cornmeal paste and then you're gonna get
[TS]
00:40:25
◼
►
so watching when you're free right you
[TS]
00:40:28
◼
►
know it looks like it looks like i did
[TS]
00:40:30
◼
►
this I've done a lot of kooky fad diets
[TS]
00:40:32
◼
►
in the past i remember one point
[TS]
00:40:34
◼
►
probably maybe 92 93 I gotten you know
[TS]
00:40:36
◼
►
I've been a job for a couple years
[TS]
00:40:37
◼
►
that's I you know I remember when I was
[TS]
00:40:40
◼
►
in some 59 and when i was in college i
[TS]
00:40:43
◼
►
was 249 pounds and so I was pretty
[TS]
00:40:46
◼
►
skinny like not super skinny but then by
[TS]
00:40:50
◼
►
the time I had a job for a couple years
[TS]
00:40:51
◼
►
coinciding with the fact that I was now
[TS]
00:40:53
◼
►
in my twenties and officially going
[TS]
00:40:55
◼
►
downhill
[TS]
00:40:56
◼
►
you know I got to like probably 165 and
[TS]
00:40:59
◼
►
I i well i mean i was still wasn't you
[TS]
00:41:01
◼
►
know heavy but it's still out but yeah
[TS]
00:41:04
◼
►
one of the guys that you know you pick
[TS]
00:41:05
◼
►
up on those even had a lot of these real
[TS]
00:41:07
◼
►
jobs but that happens at the newsstand
[TS]
00:41:09
◼
►
but you start doing like kooky diets
[TS]
00:41:11
◼
►
that other people try and only the
[TS]
00:41:13
◼
►
cabbage soup I did the not neutral
[TS]
00:41:15
◼
►
systems what's the what's the one where
[TS]
00:41:16
◼
►
you you get the shakes got cellulose in
[TS]
00:41:18
◼
►
it we had orange juice to the powder and
[TS]
00:41:20
◼
►
you shake it up you drink two of those a
[TS]
00:41:22
◼
►
day instead of meals my orange julius
[TS]
00:41:25
◼
►
now know you get a can and you put a
[TS]
00:41:28
◼
►
scoop of this into this special built
[TS]
00:41:30
◼
►
purpose shaker you top it off with
[TS]
00:41:32
◼
►
orders to shake it and then you'll
[TS]
00:41:33
◼
►
joyously slow down
[TS]
00:41:35
◼
►
who and that's kind of what this stuff
[TS]
00:41:37
◼
►
looks like it's got a little bit of a
[TS]
00:41:38
◼
►
foam head
[TS]
00:41:39
◼
►
on it before we had except in this case
[TS]
00:41:42
◼
►
it looks like it's it i'm guessing it's
[TS]
00:41:43
◼
►
got everything that you need for your
[TS]
00:41:45
◼
►
key kilo joules I i feel i feel like
[TS]
00:41:48
◼
►
this is a new evolution this is that
[TS]
00:41:53
◼
►
this is this is it may be one of the
[TS]
00:41:55
◼
►
principal problems of my charity right
[TS]
00:41:58
◼
►
back when we were at the dawn of the of
[TS]
00:42:01
◼
►
the modern age someone devised the
[TS]
00:42:05
◼
►
theory that what we lacked was enough
[TS]
00:42:11
◼
►
time we were wasting time doing all
[TS]
00:42:15
◼
►
these labor-intensive things and what we
[TS]
00:42:18
◼
►
need it was to free up that time and if
[TS]
00:42:21
◼
►
we had that time free even imagine what
[TS]
00:42:24
◼
►
we would do if we get that time back if
[TS]
00:42:25
◼
►
we got that time we would be reading
[TS]
00:42:28
◼
►
poetry we would be philosophizing on the
[TS]
00:42:31
◼
►
mountaintop we would be living in a
[TS]
00:42:33
◼
►
culture that was flowering art and music
[TS]
00:42:37
◼
►
and dance will become cocksman on a
[TS]
00:42:39
◼
►
level that are that arm our
[TS]
00:42:41
◼
►
great-great-grandfather's could never
[TS]
00:42:42
◼
►
even dreamed
[TS]
00:42:44
◼
►
yeah I collapse on the divan with one
[TS]
00:42:48
◼
►
hand shading my eyes just thinking about
[TS]
00:42:50
◼
►
the elegance that would be capable of if
[TS]
00:42:54
◼
►
we just had that time yes and the whole
[TS]
00:42:56
◼
►
project of the last 200 years has been
[TS]
00:42:58
◼
►
to free up this at this crucial time
[TS]
00:43:01
◼
►
that we somehow that we somehow had lost
[TS]
00:43:06
◼
►
it as we moved into the Machine Age and
[TS]
00:43:08
◼
►
with every new device with every new
[TS]
00:43:11
◼
►
thing that supposedly saves us time we
[TS]
00:43:15
◼
►
realize that we have all this time now
[TS]
00:43:19
◼
►
and we have to fill it and in the past
[TS]
00:43:24
◼
►
we would have filled this time from dawn
[TS]
00:43:26
◼
►
to dusk laboring and now we don't have
[TS]
00:43:30
◼
►
anything to do and we don't have the
[TS]
00:43:33
◼
►
imagination is necessary to really do
[TS]
00:43:37
◼
►
you know to flower but also just in in
[TS]
00:43:40
◼
►
passing during before the times that we
[TS]
00:43:42
◼
►
were laboring all day we also have to
[TS]
00:43:43
◼
►
worry about being destroyed by our
[TS]
00:43:45
◼
►
environment right so we had a legitimate
[TS]
00:43:47
◼
►
reason to be anxious all the time
[TS]
00:43:49
◼
►
well we knew we were literally being
[TS]
00:43:51
◼
►
chased by will
[TS]
00:43:52
◼
►
literally not figuratively wolves not
[TS]
00:43:55
◼
►
demon dogs but actual wolves snarling
[TS]
00:43:57
◼
►
wolf app so you so you take away food
[TS]
00:44:00
◼
►
and when you're 24 years old it seems
[TS]
00:44:03
◼
►
like well I mean all I mean is taco bell
[TS]
00:44:05
◼
►
anyway I might as well just drink
[TS]
00:44:07
◼
►
Soylent and i'm getting nutrition
[TS]
00:44:09
◼
►
uh-huh but for those of us who are in
[TS]
00:44:11
◼
►
middle-aged food thinking about food
[TS]
00:44:14
◼
►
preparing food eating food and then
[TS]
00:44:17
◼
►
worrying about food but sixty percent of
[TS]
00:44:20
◼
►
how we fill our time take that away and
[TS]
00:44:24
◼
►
what do you fill it with more episodic
[TS]
00:44:26
◼
►
television more Dan Harmon fan worship
[TS]
00:44:30
◼
►
no do not take my food even though I
[TS]
00:44:34
◼
►
hate it and even though I despise
[TS]
00:44:36
◼
►
everything about food is least a game
[TS]
00:44:39
◼
►
you have to play every day now you're
[TS]
00:44:43
◼
►
right i mean i-i enjoy the food i enjoy
[TS]
00:44:45
◼
►
the idea of some food but it's just
[TS]
00:44:48
◼
►
again maybe I'm just old entire but it
[TS]
00:44:50
◼
►
seems like so much effort goes into the
[TS]
00:44:53
◼
►
food proposition to have my daughter
[TS]
00:44:56
◼
►
then like push around a little bit of
[TS]
00:44:58
◼
►
noodles and ask for dessert
[TS]
00:44:59
◼
►
you know it's it's ridiculous but think
[TS]
00:45:01
◼
►
about how much effort it would be if you
[TS]
00:45:03
◼
►
had to make your own clothes but i can't
[TS]
00:45:07
◼
►
imagine how much worse things would be
[TS]
00:45:09
◼
►
if I had to make because I mean I kind
[TS]
00:45:11
◼
►
of where the same thing every day as it
[TS]
00:45:12
◼
►
is right so now which i think i wear the
[TS]
00:45:14
◼
►
same thing literally everyday take a
[TS]
00:45:16
◼
►
look at the clothes that you have on
[TS]
00:45:17
◼
►
right now and imagine yourself in a
[TS]
00:45:20
◼
►
situation where those were gone
[TS]
00:45:23
◼
►
those had worn out and you needed to
[TS]
00:45:26
◼
►
just make that you just needed to make
[TS]
00:45:28
◼
►
those clothes that you have on it will
[TS]
00:45:30
◼
►
take me like three years and you know
[TS]
00:45:33
◼
►
but you'd feel good about it and you
[TS]
00:45:35
◼
►
would wear those you wear those everyday
[TS]
00:45:37
◼
►
with pride with the project write the
[TS]
00:45:39
◼
►
correct the craftsmanship that went into
[TS]
00:45:40
◼
►
this particular fantastic for sure
[TS]
00:45:42
◼
►
now imagine if you had to make you make
[TS]
00:45:44
◼
►
clothes for your daughter and how
[TS]
00:45:46
◼
►
frustrating it would be every six months
[TS]
00:45:48
◼
►
when you have to make her new clothes
[TS]
00:45:49
◼
►
because the little beast kept growing
[TS]
00:45:51
◼
►
yeah I feel like I feel like you know my
[TS]
00:45:54
◼
►
I've told you my mom was issues to
[TS]
00:45:57
◼
►
detail her week back in Ohio in the
[TS]
00:46:01
◼
►
forties wherever you know there was an
[TS]
00:46:04
◼
►
hey that they devoted just to ironing or
[TS]
00:46:07
◼
►
arnon as they said they would earn for
[TS]
00:46:11
◼
►
an entire day now they were thinking boy
[TS]
00:46:17
◼
►
was that there was some kind of silence
[TS]
00:46:20
◼
►
at least so close
[TS]
00:46:22
◼
►
yeah that could allow us to be free of
[TS]
00:46:24
◼
►
this labor right but you know but
[TS]
00:46:27
◼
►
that's--you know it's kinda that's kind
[TS]
00:46:28
◼
►
of what life is
[TS]
00:46:29
◼
►
I mean you know not to pull out that
[TS]
00:46:30
◼
►
turns out thing but you know people
[TS]
00:46:32
◼
►
turned on time turns out you know what
[TS]
00:46:33
◼
►
once we get all these time-saving
[TS]
00:46:35
◼
►
devices once we have refrigerators you
[TS]
00:46:37
◼
►
don't have to go to the store twice a
[TS]
00:46:38
◼
►
day once we have washing machines so we
[TS]
00:46:41
◼
►
don't have to spend our entire monday
[TS]
00:46:42
◼
►
washing they needed said that all that
[TS]
00:46:45
◼
►
really happened was that the standards
[TS]
00:46:47
◼
►
went up now people expected there close
[TS]
00:46:48
◼
►
to be done more quickly
[TS]
00:46:50
◼
►
well write the standard of the standard
[TS]
00:46:54
◼
►
of that went up but went down was closed
[TS]
00:46:57
◼
►
suck now clothes are made by little
[TS]
00:46:59
◼
►
brown hands in malaysia the clothes are
[TS]
00:47:02
◼
►
all garbage we throw them away we we
[TS]
00:47:04
◼
►
wear wear shirt 15 times and it's like
[TS]
00:47:06
◼
►
this shirts old gone like standards have
[TS]
00:47:11
◼
►
not only only the appearance of
[TS]
00:47:13
◼
►
standards have gone up actual standards
[TS]
00:47:15
◼
►
have declined everywhere
[TS]
00:47:16
◼
►
yeah and I'm sitting here for helping a
[TS]
00:47:19
◼
►
lot of people with something here and
[TS]
00:47:21
◼
►
i'm sticking up this whole house with
[TS]
00:47:23
◼
►
farts because all I eat is land jager
[TS]
00:47:25
◼
►
and uh and reese's peanut butter cups
[TS]
00:47:28
◼
►
that's no way to live however let's hear
[TS]
00:47:31
◼
►
it certainly an option
[TS]
00:47:32
◼
►
how can a man my age survive on land
[TS]
00:47:34
◼
►
jager and reese's peanut butter cups
[TS]
00:47:36
◼
►
till I mean I mean my Maya my emissions
[TS]
00:47:41
◼
►
are evidence there's something deeply
[TS]
00:47:43
◼
►
wrong inside be that's why I'm sick I
[TS]
00:47:49
◼
►
need time you need to get on an alien
[TS]
00:47:51
◼
►
scanner but you need to get on a new
[TS]
00:47:53
◼
►
planet but if an alien scan me right now
[TS]
00:47:56
◼
►
yeah they would find a ball the size of
[TS]
00:47:59
◼
►
a of a calf they would find a ball the
[TS]
00:48:03
◼
►
size of a newborn calf made of bovine
[TS]
00:48:05
◼
►
calf made up of peanut butter and land
[TS]
00:48:08
◼
►
jager inside me and they would say
[TS]
00:48:10
◼
►
there's nothing we can do to save you
[TS]
00:48:12
◼
►
were going to go somewhere else we're
[TS]
00:48:13
◼
►
gonna have we're going to hire another
[TS]
00:48:14
◼
►
going to be the spokesperson
[TS]
00:48:16
◼
►
did you not know what you were doing we
[TS]
00:48:17
◼
►
did you not know that this is what you
[TS]
00:48:19
◼
►
get you get a ball out of this i had
[TS]
00:48:22
◼
►
chicken fingers
[TS]
00:48:24
◼
►
Oh configures chicken fingers and yeah
[TS]
00:48:26
◼
►
some curly fries with it
[TS]
00:48:29
◼
►
I stop that i actually on my drive
[TS]
00:48:31
◼
►
across America I stopped at Taco Bell i
[TS]
00:48:34
◼
►
have to admit and i had not been to a
[TS]
00:48:35
◼
►
taco bell in a dozen years and I was
[TS]
00:48:40
◼
►
like you know what I'm on a road trip
[TS]
00:48:41
◼
►
and I am too busy to stop and a perkins
[TS]
00:48:46
◼
►
i do not want to go into a bob evans
[TS]
00:48:50
◼
►
still got Perkins yeah the last time
[TS]
00:48:52
◼
►
last time i went into a bob evans I were
[TS]
00:48:54
◼
►
the pot roast and it was watery and I
[TS]
00:48:57
◼
►
was like no more hugging fool won't get
[TS]
00:49:00
◼
►
fooled again so i went to talk about
[TS]
00:49:02
◼
►
went to taco bell drive-thru and I got
[TS]
00:49:05
◼
►
the old standby that I used to get when
[TS]
00:49:08
◼
►
I would go to talk about all the time
[TS]
00:49:09
◼
►
when I was a young person the old
[TS]
00:49:12
◼
►
standby which is five tacos
[TS]
00:49:13
◼
►
yeah they should be like 89 cents yeah
[TS]
00:49:15
◼
►
and i sat in my truck with the engine
[TS]
00:49:18
◼
►
running and I scarfed five tacos because
[TS]
00:49:22
◼
►
that's all that's the only word you
[TS]
00:49:23
◼
►
could use to describe it you don't start
[TS]
00:49:25
◼
►
but it's a ver nice car from and the
[TS]
00:49:29
◼
►
whole time i was thinking this is likes
[TS]
00:49:30
◼
►
this is subtly this is this is like meat
[TS]
00:49:35
◼
►
that is just coming out of a basically
[TS]
00:49:37
◼
►
out of a Coke machine right it's chill
[TS]
00:49:41
◼
►
it's just like they are they have to add
[TS]
00:49:45
◼
►
texture to this to make it seem like
[TS]
00:49:49
◼
►
ground beef and it was one of those taco
[TS]
00:49:53
◼
►
bells in the middle of the country where
[TS]
00:49:54
◼
►
you pull up in every single employee is
[TS]
00:49:57
◼
►
like a high school girl roof
[TS]
00:50:00
◼
►
you know I mean like as soon as you get
[TS]
00:50:02
◼
►
out of the city's you pull up and like
[TS]
00:50:04
◼
►
fast food jobs are still jobs that like
[TS]
00:50:07
◼
►
somebody on there any club would get
[TS]
00:50:10
◼
►
yeah I get five tacos handed to me by a
[TS]
00:50:14
◼
►
girl with a jaunty ponytail
[TS]
00:50:16
◼
►
I scar from in the parking lot and I was
[TS]
00:50:18
◼
►
like this is it this is what this is
[TS]
00:50:20
◼
►
reality i am i'm experiencing reality
[TS]
00:50:26
◼
►
now in a way that I don't I don't let my
[TS]
00:50:28
◼
►
protect my
[TS]
00:50:29
◼
►
self from this reality five of them huh
[TS]
00:50:37
◼
►
you-you-you smoke this shit cells to
[TS]
00:50:40
◼
►
escape from reality
[TS]
00:50:41
◼
►
I don't need this shit I am reality but
[TS]
00:50:45
◼
►
then but better than even like just yea
[TS]
00:50:47
◼
►
even just having like like normal food
[TS]
00:50:50
◼
►
still feels like such a grind it just it
[TS]
00:50:53
◼
►
really I UD I feel like a meat machine
[TS]
00:50:55
◼
►
that just has to feed other meat into
[TS]
00:50:57
◼
►
the meat machine and then I you know
[TS]
00:51:00
◼
►
create my rudimentary paste take a nap
[TS]
00:51:02
◼
►
it's disgusting creepy-looking Soylent
[TS]
00:51:04
◼
►
maybe I should its open its open source
[TS]
00:51:06
◼
►
i should get some code you know so you
[TS]
00:51:09
◼
►
know my daughter is a is a happy
[TS]
00:51:12
◼
►
carnivore but I'm shutter shutter to
[TS]
00:51:19
◼
►
think about the conversations we've
[TS]
00:51:22
◼
►
already had the conversation about like
[TS]
00:51:23
◼
►
well this is this is meet it comes from
[TS]
00:51:26
◼
►
a cow and she was like that comes from a
[TS]
00:51:28
◼
►
cow how was like well it is a cow this
[TS]
00:51:32
◼
►
is part of a cow that we made into these
[TS]
00:51:34
◼
►
two this meat and she was like hmm
[TS]
00:51:38
◼
►
and then we moved on to a different
[TS]
00:51:42
◼
►
conversation but when she really i mean
[TS]
00:51:44
◼
►
really sitting and explaining to her
[TS]
00:51:46
◼
►
that we eat
[TS]
00:51:52
◼
►
aminals uh-huh we eat aminals we don't
[TS]
00:51:57
◼
►
have to leave but we do it on purpose we
[TS]
00:52:00
◼
►
do it on purpose a lot a lot of planning
[TS]
00:52:02
◼
►
infrastructure involved in getting this
[TS]
00:52:04
◼
►
five chakra in your lab yeah like the
[TS]
00:52:07
◼
►
farm is is a motif that we that we talk
[TS]
00:52:10
◼
►
to kids about a lot like the farm
[TS]
00:52:13
◼
►
chickens and cows and pigs and goats the
[TS]
00:52:16
◼
►
farm and we take kids to farms were like
[TS]
00:52:20
◼
►
the farm and kids get it but then it's
[TS]
00:52:24
◼
►
like you know what the farmers who not
[TS]
00:52:26
◼
►
just corn it's a fucking Holocaust every
[TS]
00:52:30
◼
►
single farm everybody here dies and
[TS]
00:52:35
◼
►
everybody here dies in a way that's they
[TS]
00:52:38
◼
►
don't go curl up in their bed with
[TS]
00:52:41
◼
►
they're bluffing
[TS]
00:52:42
◼
►
the loving hand that they've spent their
[TS]
00:52:44
◼
►
whole lives with everybody here dies bit
[TS]
00:52:47
◼
►
by getting lured into a room they lured
[TS]
00:52:50
◼
►
into a stainless steel room where we're
[TS]
00:52:53
◼
►
a German looking woman in a smock is
[TS]
00:52:55
◼
►
waiting and then it's all over it's
[TS]
00:52:59
◼
►
curtains for you
[TS]
00:53:00
◼
►
farm to our and that's you know and you
[TS]
00:53:03
◼
►
know that's not a conversation I'm
[TS]
00:53:06
◼
►
looking forward to having with her
[TS]
00:53:07
◼
►
I can barely justify to myself I I i I'm
[TS]
00:53:11
◼
►
the huge hypocrite in the world becomes
[TS]
00:53:13
◼
►
I i do not have the stomach for that at
[TS]
00:53:15
◼
►
all and you think about like that the
[TS]
00:53:17
◼
►
the sluice and getting although matter
[TS]
00:53:20
◼
►
off the farm in talking to the water
[TS]
00:53:23
◼
►
supplies alarm pink slime
[TS]
00:53:25
◼
►
I mean the best thing the aliens could
[TS]
00:53:27
◼
►
do for us is make soil and tastes like
[TS]
00:53:32
◼
►
Reese's peanut butter cups
[TS]
00:53:33
◼
►
who and then you wouldn't have to you
[TS]
00:53:36
◼
►
know the the number one advantage of
[TS]
00:53:38
◼
►
silence with all its disgusting this is
[TS]
00:53:41
◼
►
just that you can just take a step back
[TS]
00:53:44
◼
►
from the factory killing machine culture
[TS]
00:53:47
◼
►
is and I say that as someone who is has
[TS]
00:53:51
◼
►
already eating a sausage today already
[TS]
00:53:54
◼
►
in a sausage and chewed on the little
[TS]
00:53:56
◼
►
like the little nubbins that are in
[TS]
00:53:59
◼
►
every sausage and going like what is
[TS]
00:54:01
◼
►
this nothin
[TS]
00:54:02
◼
►
this was once a part of a thing those
[TS]
00:54:05
◼
►
cardiology goodness this isn't like the
[TS]
00:54:07
◼
►
soft part of that of whatever that guy
[TS]
00:54:10
◼
►
was you know and that guy was out in the
[TS]
00:54:12
◼
►
field not very long ago not thinking
[TS]
00:54:15
◼
►
anything just the just a dumb cow not
[TS]
00:54:18
◼
►
thinking i'm not sorry about it
[TS]
00:54:20
◼
►
his thoughts you know you know I'm not
[TS]
00:54:23
◼
►
sorry for him fuck him again
[TS]
00:54:25
◼
►
yeah um so did you make your own soil at
[TS]
00:54:29
◼
►
home do you buy it in a package don't
[TS]
00:54:32
◼
►
think i'm starting to see the appeal
[TS]
00:54:33
◼
►
like I tell you I think what I think you
[TS]
00:54:35
◼
►
should try silence you go on amazon and
[TS]
00:54:38
◼
►
it shows up in one of those civil
[TS]
00:54:40
◼
►
defense bins remember when we were kids
[TS]
00:54:44
◼
►
and they were still air raid shelters
[TS]
00:54:47
◼
►
who in city buildings
[TS]
00:54:49
◼
►
yeah you would go down in the basement
[TS]
00:54:51
◼
►
of those buildings and there would be
[TS]
00:54:52
◼
►
all those cardboard 50-gallon drums
[TS]
00:54:55
◼
►
we'll shop with the Civil Defence
[TS]
00:54:58
◼
►
triangle on them that was sort of a
[TS]
00:55:00
◼
►
Trilateral Commission looking Masonic
[TS]
00:55:03
◼
►
I'm sure it's a coincidence and you
[TS]
00:55:06
◼
►
would open those 50-gallon drums and
[TS]
00:55:08
◼
►
they would be full of single aren't ya
[TS]
00:55:11
◼
►
freeze dried food and and can stop that
[TS]
00:55:14
◼
►
was all just slowly moldering yeah
[TS]
00:55:16
◼
►
somewhere in America and I'm bed sheets
[TS]
00:55:19
◼
►
in Kansas City there's still a basement
[TS]
00:55:21
◼
►
of a government office building where
[TS]
00:55:22
◼
►
all that civil defense air ride stuff is
[TS]
00:55:25
◼
►
like sealed behind the door like like Al
[TS]
00:55:28
◼
►
Capone's vault on you and you get now
[TS]
00:55:30
◼
►
it's vintage but you know like when I
[TS]
00:55:33
◼
►
was a kid there
[TS]
00:55:33
◼
►
I mean maybe Alaska had a preponderance
[TS]
00:55:36
◼
►
of this stuff but everywhere you went
[TS]
00:55:38
◼
►
there were these civil defense cans in
[TS]
00:55:41
◼
►
the down in the in the in the
[TS]
00:55:42
◼
►
sub-basement where you were supposed to
[TS]
00:55:44
◼
►
go when the Russians blow us all up
[TS]
00:55:46
◼
►
of course yeah and I think what happens
[TS]
00:55:49
◼
►
is silent sends you a big a big
[TS]
00:55:51
◼
►
cardboard 50-gallon drum full of sand
[TS]
00:55:56
◼
►
and then you add water to the sand and
[TS]
00:56:01
◼
►
maybe like what a splash of cranberry
[TS]
00:56:02
◼
►
juice or something for just one lady I
[TS]
00:56:06
◼
►
bet there's a nepotism MacGuffin or a
[TS]
00:56:07
◼
►
little trickier but there's something
[TS]
00:56:09
◼
►
you put in like activated yeast event
[TS]
00:56:11
◼
►
planning something that makes it look
[TS]
00:56:12
◼
►
fresh right makes it fresh
[TS]
00:56:14
◼
►
well you know it makes it the you know
[TS]
00:56:16
◼
►
probiotic there's probably something you
[TS]
00:56:18
◼
►
put in there that introduces a something
[TS]
00:56:21
◼
►
that that was not available in the area
[TS]
00:56:23
◼
►
shelters of the 50 something that you
[TS]
00:56:24
◼
►
know something that makes it could see
[TS]
00:56:25
◼
►
the trick is I bet it's got to be a
[TS]
00:56:27
◼
►
little bit artisanal this is not that
[TS]
00:56:29
◼
►
different from typical like diet powder
[TS]
00:56:30
◼
►
you buy at the at the you know GNC or
[TS]
00:56:33
◼
►
whatever there's gotta be something I
[TS]
00:56:34
◼
►
should just read the wikipedia article i
[TS]
00:56:36
◼
►
guess i sometimes it is if you google
[TS]
00:56:38
◼
►
Soylent hack i bet you people are
[TS]
00:56:44
◼
►
hacking Soylent uh-huh and i'm filling
[TS]
00:56:47
◼
►
it up with you know acacia berries
[TS]
00:56:52
◼
►
she's or yeah other and like
[TS]
00:56:55
◼
►
antioxidants
[TS]
00:56:57
◼
►
mmm yeah oh god this is depressing or
[TS]
00:56:59
◼
►
make it taste like coffee make it taste
[TS]
00:57:01
◼
►
like peanut butter
[TS]
00:57:02
◼
►
oh this is really really depressing
[TS]
00:57:04
◼
►
every it looks like everything in it is
[TS]
00:57:07
◼
►
is gray or beige
[TS]
00:57:09
◼
►
yeah because all because really we are
[TS]
00:57:13
◼
►
made from the ashes and we go back to
[TS]
00:57:16
◼
►
the ashes
[TS]
00:57:18
◼
►
Mazel Tov sometimes i'm really hungry
[TS]
00:57:29
◼
►
after we recorded i am not hungry today
[TS]
00:57:31
◼
►
ah Mazel Tov
[TS]