Ep. 122: "Parliament of the Moment"
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[Music]
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hello hey John hi Merlin has it going
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good how are you going I'm going it's
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early it's pretty early is early pretty
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early but uh but you know I I'm living a
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new way got a new whole new life so I'm
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i feel like this isn't even early for me
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anymore
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wow I just can't talk about just like
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come on bring it you know really tired
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I'm tired of being on the wrong side of
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history
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oh just like up and going and just
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living and you're achieving ah yeah oh
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yeah he just dodging bullets
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yeah no I'm no I'm definitely not just
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putting out fires i am living in the now
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and in the past and in the future
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oh wow yeah why is that it is it
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anything in particular this it's like
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this change is just your schedule gotten
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busy no it's just you know what it was
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it was just that i decided i decided
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that every single book and pamphlet and
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website link i had ever been given to a
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life improvement style a philosophy i
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was just going to let him sit down over
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the course of a weekend I was just going
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to digest it all on implement it that's
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the best way to do it
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yeah yeah you're gonna let that stuff
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piled up its like the old like old new
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york times or something just want to
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really sit down and just really get
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through
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yeah well the thing is a lot of the
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words of the same roof between uh
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between philosophy so i was able to kind
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of go through and you know kind of like
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when you originally learn to do
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fractions you know you kind of cross off
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these these sort of similar words like
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when you're doing long division
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you know I still do stuff on doing long
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division that I learned in third grade
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and I probably don't need to but it's
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like I'm doing better division if I show
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my work I feel that way too well with a
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lot of stuff although times tables i'm
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very proud of having memorized my times
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tables a long time ago
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and so you know I you'll never catch me
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rolling my eyes up to to remember my
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time stable system 7 I was 6 times 7 is
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Wow hi I'm AKA you know like there's a
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and actually 67 was a very important
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equation if you think those what would
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that be
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I want to be the one hundred different
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multiplication problems that create the
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times tables right so angry so you
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figure you get you know if you look at
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like 1 x 2 into x 2 and those are at the
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very far left end of the curve six times
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seven there was a very long tail seven
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times eight and six times seven both
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took me this is like the last two that i
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learned i found them incredibly
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difficult
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well and so this is what y 6 times 7 was
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so important to me because six times
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seven was the first one I learned
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oh because I because 42 is such a nice
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number who and six times seven seems to
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be a dick you know six times seven just
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seems to produce nothing right i mean
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it's just like six is there but seven is
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a weird number we just wanna multiply in
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that way like seven half dozen of eggs
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it seems pretty random yeah but that you
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know that happens like okay well how
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many are in a bushel of six of them all
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right so how many do we have seven of
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them you know the guy i find myself
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doing that all the time
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sure but six times seven was a such an
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ungainly and awkward equation produce
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such a beautiful number 42 that it stood
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out in my head and so it was like it was
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the linchpin it was the capstone of my
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whole well that's the wrong way of
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getting should be a capstone 0 gateway
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capstone is the first one you put it is
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the last one you can keep not a keystone
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then you know it's not a keystone I
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guess it would be a cornerstone because
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I would then I could work i came over
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for a rock i could work either direction
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from from 40 to write it because I knew
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six times seven so if you say you know
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seven times eight
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I know like I can work for
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42 went from 42 in either direction and
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it helped me and help me you know
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memorize that it was an errand medical
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stake in the ground
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yeah that's right that's good 67 and so
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did you had all this stuff some of it
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was electronic i'm guessing a lot of
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those things you printed out probably
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since the early 2000s think about
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leadership and see Iration so people
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print stuff out for me people people i
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don't i don't typically print stuff out
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even when i'm asked to print stuff out
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yeah education considering the
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environment
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well yeah and I also just seems like
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printers really factors God sleep are we
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still I remember when printers were
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described as being on the way out
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currently obsolete in what was that
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1999b yeah because the laser rider when
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the laser came out with the mac and you
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could have like a mac ac30 and
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laserwriter and you could make a
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production-quality publication that was
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life-changing but it wasn't long before
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cooking you know maybe we don't know
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this production
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yeah seems like we make a lot of paper
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remember that you've ever worked in an
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office where you would just get
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everybody in the office got the same
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like 30 sheets of paper every day I used
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to work currency at piper jaffray which
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was a investment company
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yeah i'm gonna head like a hole full of
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paper detectable floors they had that
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and anything that they their office was
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in a building in downtown Seattle that
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was designed by the same guy who
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designed the world trade center and it
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was like a proto World Trade Center this
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building was built in the in the
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mid-sixties and it's a much smaller sort
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of you know like archetype of that style
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of concrete construction and if you look
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at it knowing that it was designed by
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the same guy
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it kind of takes your breath away you're
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like oh my god it is sort of like a
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little world trade center and the top
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three floors of this building which
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should be the most expensive offices in
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it and could be some of the nicest
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offices in downtown Seattle
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are like the windows are papered over
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and it's just full of boxes of papers of
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long-ago business transactions but but
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like the whole the whole reason we were
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encouraged to start using computers was
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that they were going to do away with
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paper and now i get i get five emails a
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week from people saying well print this
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out fill it out then fax at Brown my god
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John like God I go die I would rather
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not do the job I would rather not do i
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would not rather not get paid the money
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well whatever it is it's how anytime
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there's a relationship that will involve
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money you're gonna have to send almost
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always especially with large large
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Institute's institutions and
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organizations you almost always have to
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send them like three pieces of paper
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always but you know what's weird though
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is if I think back to that time and i
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was working in office i was making
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mostly about the time I was well admit
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early mid nineties i was making a lot of
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courtroom exhibits that we would print
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out sometimes on a very costly color
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printer but but the truth was like
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nothing felt real like nobody could
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relax until it had printed out in
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multiple copies you know it wasn't
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really yet it had it wasn't a thing what
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didn't matter that we're doing it setup
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you know automated backups and stuff
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like that didn't matter it didn't exist
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until it was something you could put in
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a fedex envelope
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well as you know i mean it's a cliche to
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say but well as I was going through my
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dad's papers probably a refrigerator box
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full of paper that what without you that
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had a receipt receipt school photo at
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the top at the girl that sure but then
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at the top you know the kind of
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gibberish that that that used to be at
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the top of every email you printed out
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and then it would be like hi honey how
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are you I've just been thinking about
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you okay
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write me when you can and he's like
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printing out emails not just the emails
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that he receives but like also printing
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out is part of the email like and you
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know emails he get back like
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everything's good dad talk to you soon
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just like wow you're printing these out
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and partly it's he's putting it out
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because
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I he wants to have a record but i think
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a big part of it was it wasn't real it
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wasn't real until I mean look at it on
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the computer screen maybe like 10
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yeah i mean that's put too fine a point
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on it but I think for a lot of people I
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was working 2.com I told you the story
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about our CTO there who thought that I
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should invent email attachments because
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that we need idea that he was completely
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backward you nothing he didn't know the
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scroll wheel on his mouth confused him i
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told you about this guy and he basically
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i think his work flow was a common
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workflow in the late nineties which was
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the same way that today we would read
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email and you might flag it or you might
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if you're me you turn that into like an
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action somewhere else that's it that's a
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tip anything you printed out with
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something that you either had to read or
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you have to do something about and
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that's the way you did your email
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anytime you got to ask for old people
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when you got to an email you actually do
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something about you printed out put it
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otherwise it wasn't real right you can
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you post a thing any post a might be
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misremembering this but did you post
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something with your dad's letter to the
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car dealership about his last payment on
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oh I don't think that was me and that
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you know I think that might have been
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maybe I was Dan Benjamin could be i like
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when mi like when people put those kinds
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of things i love that ephemera but now I
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have a lot of that stuff but but you
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know I think a lot of my dad's
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correspondence is still protected under
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some sort of lawyer-client privilege
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foundation under various transit laws
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intelligence but i'm telling you i've
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decided to adopt all principles of
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self-improvement i'm so excited to hear
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about this yeah and one of them is just
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like I just woke up at the crack of dawn
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this morning i made a blender of raw
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eggs and I'm gonna get that Iran regular
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wash that museum in Philadelphia put my
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fist in the air and then I started
[TS]
00:11:05
◼
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immediately writing the best work of my
[TS]
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◼
►
life and I just that one weekend of
[TS]
00:11:11
◼
►
reviewing this materials and now here I
[TS]
00:11:14
◼
►
am at a time that formerly would have
[TS]
00:11:16
◼
►
been pretty daunting to me i've already
[TS]
00:11:19
◼
►
done so much today
[TS]
00:11:21
◼
►
wow yeah I'm fine and you know i'm i'm
[TS]
00:11:24
◼
►
here i'm getting married haha
[TS]
00:11:26
◼
►
there's a lot I mean you know I'm not
[TS]
00:11:29
◼
►
just thinking about it but I'm taking
[TS]
00:11:31
◼
►
over the hump on it feel like you have
[TS]
00:11:33
◼
►
anybody in mind
[TS]
00:11:34
◼
►
I you know I read a lot of a lot of
[TS]
00:11:36
◼
►
stuff that said that married people are
[TS]
00:11:37
◼
►
happier
[TS]
00:11:38
◼
►
yes and so you live longer John if you
[TS]
00:11:40
◼
►
made me so you'll take fewer risks
[TS]
00:11:43
◼
►
seemed like a thing that had you know up
[TS]
00:11:45
◼
►
until just a just a little while ago I i
[TS]
00:11:49
◼
►
was pretty anti-marriage but now I'm
[TS]
00:11:51
◼
►
re-evaluating this is evaluated a lot
[TS]
00:11:55
◼
►
ever I i would love to hear about all
[TS]
00:11:57
◼
►
seeing all of that at one time in one
[TS]
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◼
►
place that's a lot of that deep data
[TS]
00:12:01
◼
►
really sink in
[TS]
00:12:02
◼
►
yeah whereas if you're eating you know
[TS]
00:12:03
◼
►
piecemeal throughout the month just a
[TS]
00:12:05
◼
►
little nibble here in newtonville there
[TS]
00:12:07
◼
►
but you you really set down your
[TS]
00:12:09
◼
►
information transformant you sat down
[TS]
00:12:11
◼
►
and said love rain over me tell me what
[TS]
00:12:13
◼
►
should I do
[TS]
00:12:14
◼
►
that's right i went into the tank went
[TS]
00:12:16
◼
►
into the tank and and now the
[TS]
00:12:18
◼
►
formaldehyde of self-knowledge is
[TS]
00:12:21
◼
►
permeated all my cells ask you you're
[TS]
00:12:24
◼
►
getting up early you might get married
[TS]
00:12:26
◼
►
you're gonna hear is your problem
[TS]
00:12:29
◼
►
here's the problem a lot of these books
[TS]
00:12:32
◼
►
lead me to the inescapable conclusion
[TS]
00:12:35
◼
►
that i need to log off
[TS]
00:12:38
◼
►
oh you mean the internet I need to log
[TS]
00:12:42
◼
►
off the internet because of productivity
[TS]
00:12:44
◼
►
well because of productivity and because
[TS]
00:12:47
◼
►
of spiritual the cleanliness you know
[TS]
00:12:52
◼
►
it's not just enough to not read the
[TS]
00:12:54
◼
►
comments section because the Internet
[TS]
00:12:56
◼
►
has become a comment section the entire
[TS]
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◼
►
internet and so to avoid the comments
[TS]
00:13:04
◼
►
page you have to avoid everything I mean
[TS]
00:13:08
◼
►
I remember just it was not a couple of
[TS]
00:13:10
◼
►
years ago that I felt like a genius
[TS]
00:13:12
◼
►
because I was getting my news from
[TS]
00:13:14
◼
►
Twitter then it was a thousand times
[TS]
00:13:17
◼
►
better than getting my news from the
[TS]
00:13:18
◼
►
news but now
[TS]
00:13:20
◼
►
twitter is the news yeah it's the same
[TS]
00:13:23
◼
►
news and you feel the same bad way and
[TS]
00:13:25
◼
►
yet you're it's like it's like the new
[TS]
00:13:27
◼
►
it's like like have reverted all the way
[TS]
00:13:29
◼
►
back to that era when people couldn't
[TS]
00:13:31
◼
►
take their eyes off of CNN
[TS]
00:13:33
◼
►
oh yeah and it's like everyone headline
[TS]
00:13:37
◼
►
news i remember i was living with my on
[TS]
00:13:38
◼
►
my horrible stepfather when headline
[TS]
00:13:40
◼
►
news got popular and he would just leave
[TS]
00:13:42
◼
►
he would sit there in a chair and watch
[TS]
00:13:45
◼
►
the 30-minute somebody with Michael and
[TS]
00:13:47
◼
►
cycle day long
[TS]
00:13:49
◼
►
yeah and every every every half hour
[TS]
00:13:52
◼
►
they would add one little new not even a
[TS]
00:13:56
◼
►
new bit but like sometimes just a word
[TS]
00:13:58
◼
►
to the scroll that one word would change
[TS]
00:14:00
◼
►
like instead of pending it would say you
[TS]
00:14:04
◼
►
know it would say something else you
[TS]
00:14:08
◼
►
know like that not that away
[TS]
00:14:10
◼
►
it's a pretty long time ago also now but
[TS]
00:14:12
◼
►
you bet you're right and I'm and now I'm
[TS]
00:14:14
◼
►
you still see that today you get to an
[TS]
00:14:15
◼
►
airport it's just want to all CNN to see
[TS]
00:14:17
◼
►
anything that's for I really don't know
[TS]
00:14:19
◼
►
who that's for
[TS]
00:14:20
◼
►
well but unfortunately now twitter has
[TS]
00:14:22
◼
►
become this like whatever that whatever
[TS]
00:14:24
◼
►
the news it is that twitter has decided
[TS]
00:14:27
◼
►
is the important news which sometimes is
[TS]
00:14:29
◼
►
Twitter still is very proud of itself
[TS]
00:14:30
◼
►
when what it decides the news is not the
[TS]
00:14:33
◼
►
same as what CNN decides the news-times
[TS]
00:14:35
◼
►
does a pretty good job and it doesn't
[TS]
00:14:37
◼
►
amazing job especially at first except
[TS]
00:14:40
◼
►
now it's doing an amazing job and i am
[TS]
00:14:43
◼
►
back as a person watching the freaking
[TS]
00:14:45
◼
►
news which is not a person I want to be
[TS]
00:14:47
◼
►
I don't want to follow the news closely
[TS]
00:14:49
◼
►
following the news closely does not
[TS]
00:14:52
◼
►
produce happiness or productivity that
[TS]
00:14:55
◼
►
was reading your papers John the things
[TS]
00:14:57
◼
►
you ready sure wasn't some of these
[TS]
00:14:58
◼
►
things predate twitter but they were
[TS]
00:15:00
◼
►
telling me stuff about the news that I
[TS]
00:15:03
◼
►
reflect and realize that it applies now
[TS]
00:15:06
◼
►
the the the the the magnetism of
[TS]
00:15:10
◼
►
constant news updates seems to be
[TS]
00:15:16
◼
►
inescapable for for anything you know
[TS]
00:15:19
◼
►
remember like oh there was such promise
[TS]
00:15:22
◼
►
on the internet got it had such promise
[TS]
00:15:24
◼
►
yeah it's gonna be analysis and there is
[TS]
00:15:27
◼
►
you know that's still twitter is better
[TS]
00:15:29
◼
►
because you get a you get a hundred
[TS]
00:15:31
◼
►
voices and you can put together an
[TS]
00:15:34
◼
►
analysis that but but still the cult is
[TS]
00:15:37
◼
►
chase the news change the updates and I
[TS]
00:15:42
◼
►
didn't it just it's just not good for
[TS]
00:15:45
◼
►
it's not good for person it's not good
[TS]
00:15:47
◼
►
for one I can't tell how serious your
[TS]
00:15:48
◼
►
being so I'm gonna act like you're being
[TS]
00:15:50
◼
►
a little bit serious i I'm i used to
[TS]
00:15:52
◼
►
have a habit
[TS]
00:15:53
◼
►
this is a terrific example of life hacks
[TS]
00:15:55
◼
►
gone awry one of things that I would do
[TS]
00:15:57
◼
►
probably starting in the early two
[TS]
00:15:59
◼
►
thousands whenever whatever the point
[TS]
00:16:01
◼
►
was that you could have tabs i had a tab
[TS]
00:16:05
◼
►
set where with one like command-click it
[TS]
00:16:09
◼
►
would open like six different news sites
[TS]
00:16:11
◼
►
in a window and then I just you know
[TS]
00:16:13
◼
►
scroll through each one and look at all
[TS]
00:16:14
◼
►
of them but it's so strange how that one
[TS]
00:16:16
◼
►
all it took to create six tabs of
[TS]
00:16:19
◼
►
information was me hitting the little
[TS]
00:16:22
◼
►
you know spot key and clicking and I
[TS]
00:16:26
◼
►
could have 35 minutes of sadness and
[TS]
00:16:28
◼
►
your resolution in my life but they
[TS]
00:16:31
◼
►
would only be slaked by going back a few
[TS]
00:16:33
◼
►
minutes later and doing exactly the same
[TS]
00:16:34
◼
►
thing again
[TS]
00:16:35
◼
►
yeah not unlike my email inbox but
[TS]
00:16:37
◼
►
that's a different show I feel like if
[TS]
00:16:39
◼
►
if all the news I God was delivered once
[TS]
00:16:44
◼
►
a month in a brown package wrapped with
[TS]
00:16:47
◼
►
white string along with some other
[TS]
00:16:51
◼
►
staples like eggs and milk some eggs and
[TS]
00:16:53
◼
►
milk some lard got a lot sir it's the
[TS]
00:16:58
◼
►
eggs milk large salt grass here at the
[TS]
00:17:02
◼
►
office of doing that is resolution
[TS]
00:17:04
◼
►
rebrand as staples staples within you
[TS]
00:17:06
◼
►
absolutely the basic shit you need once
[TS]
00:17:08
◼
►
a month
[TS]
00:17:09
◼
►
look that should just staple should just
[TS]
00:17:11
◼
►
start calling themselves staples and
[TS]
00:17:14
◼
►
actually sell staples
[TS]
00:17:15
◼
►
not in there and say what's up with the
[TS]
00:17:17
◼
►
news and it's actually not that much new
[TS]
00:17:18
◼
►
just get back to work you know what they
[TS]
00:17:20
◼
►
can do they could wrap the lard and
[TS]
00:17:21
◼
►
sugar and bacon and coffee in the new
[TS]
00:17:24
◼
►
you read the rapper yet as you can
[TS]
00:17:26
◼
►
she'll get there you open up your beer
[TS]
00:17:28
◼
►
put your stuff in your in your like that
[TS]
00:17:30
◼
►
dugout cooler underneath your cabin and
[TS]
00:17:33
◼
►
then you're like a look at this
[TS]
00:17:34
◼
►
holy cow the Japanese bombed Pearl
[TS]
00:17:36
◼
►
Harbor and that is about as current as
[TS]
00:17:39
◼
►
you you need to be you know every two
[TS]
00:17:41
◼
►
weeks every month if you just gotta
[TS]
00:17:43
◼
►
round up of the news and you'd be like
[TS]
00:17:45
◼
►
oh alright well it seems like everything
[TS]
00:17:48
◼
►
is just about the same i mean anything
[TS]
00:17:51
◼
►
and is there any news out of gaza in the
[TS]
00:17:54
◼
►
last three months
[TS]
00:17:55
◼
►
that couldn't have come out of gaza in
[TS]
00:17:57
◼
►
1972 like yeah i could just be reading I
[TS]
00:18:01
◼
►
could be reading the newspapers from the
[TS]
00:18:03
◼
►
Nixon administration's you want to keep
[TS]
00:18:04
◼
►
your anger fresh
[TS]
00:18:06
◼
►
I so don't know what I want my anger to
[TS]
00:18:10
◼
►
be so stale I wanted to be the stainless
[TS]
00:18:12
◼
►
thing in my cupboard
[TS]
00:18:14
◼
►
oh man had its ups talking at all the
[TS]
00:18:16
◼
►
time and not only am I stoking the anger
[TS]
00:18:19
◼
►
but I'm stoking like this
[TS]
00:18:21
◼
►
I'm you know I'm smoking like confusing
[TS]
00:18:24
◼
►
emotions in me right where where it's
[TS]
00:18:29
◼
►
like oh there's so many opinions
[TS]
00:18:32
◼
►
it's not healthy to see that many
[TS]
00:18:34
◼
►
opinions i guess is what it is you know
[TS]
00:18:36
◼
►
we we like to think oh the more opinions
[TS]
00:18:38
◼
►
you get the more you know the more
[TS]
00:18:40
◼
►
well-rounded your eventual take on
[TS]
00:18:44
◼
►
things will be but in fact like the more
[TS]
00:18:48
◼
►
polemical opinions you read the more it
[TS]
00:18:51
◼
►
feels like well all opinions are equally
[TS]
00:18:54
◼
►
all opinions are equally unfounded and
[TS]
00:18:57
◼
►
maybe on partly also they're ultimately
[TS]
00:19:01
◼
►
somewhat recently updated it's not it's
[TS]
00:19:04
◼
►
not opinion of five years
[TS]
00:19:06
◼
►
alright it's an opinion on this one or
[TS]
00:19:09
◼
►
two degree change in something hopeless
[TS]
00:19:12
◼
►
not hopeless but it's something that's
[TS]
00:19:14
◼
►
really awful that i can personally do
[TS]
00:19:15
◼
►
very much about today but me getting
[TS]
00:19:18
◼
►
that you know it also has the
[TS]
00:19:20
◼
►
self-selecting bias of making more and
[TS]
00:19:22
◼
►
more even I think unconsciously seek out
[TS]
00:19:25
◼
►
the little sub tunnel that goes to the
[TS]
00:19:27
◼
►
stuff that you agree with
[TS]
00:19:29
◼
►
what makes you feel angry in the way
[TS]
00:19:30
◼
►
that makes you happy well under this is
[TS]
00:19:32
◼
►
the thing I mean how do you feel about
[TS]
00:19:35
◼
►
killing babies what the ones that
[TS]
00:19:38
◼
►
deserve it or the the wetlands see that
[TS]
00:19:41
◼
►
he go that's what you've just opened up
[TS]
00:19:42
◼
►
a can of worms that I I thought I set
[TS]
00:19:45
◼
►
their own purpose
[TS]
00:19:46
◼
►
yeah that and I and I had a mechanical
[TS]
00:19:48
◼
►
arm said Merlin do not open and you
[TS]
00:19:50
◼
►
opened it immediately I did you know
[TS]
00:19:52
◼
►
what I can't even read the label which
[TS]
00:19:55
◼
►
ah i mean good babies back babies but
[TS]
00:19:59
◼
►
that but they put the whole but the
[TS]
00:20:01
◼
►
concept of killing babies is such like a
[TS]
00:20:03
◼
►
universal galvanizing flaming sword and
[TS]
00:20:07
◼
►
it fits into a tweet so well killing
[TS]
00:20:09
◼
►
babies bad send and you know I look out
[TS]
00:20:13
◼
►
the window and look out the window and I
[TS]
00:20:15
◼
►
scan across the city and I think about
[TS]
00:20:17
◼
►
all the dead babies through history so
[TS]
00:20:21
◼
►
many dead babies really like you know
[TS]
00:20:25
◼
►
pallets of God and you go
[TS]
00:20:27
◼
►
is that really the thing that I want to
[TS]
00:20:30
◼
►
that I that i'm going to like permanent
[TS]
00:20:32
◼
►
have motivate me and it in a day like to
[TS]
00:20:37
◼
►
prevent it to think about it at all and
[TS]
00:20:40
◼
►
i'm not just about to say that to avoid
[TS]
00:20:41
◼
►
thinking about is good but just like
[TS]
00:20:44
◼
►
yeah I think I'm gonna get you off dead
[TS]
00:20:48
◼
►
babies four seconds thank you
[TS]
00:20:49
◼
►
I I remember feeling this feeling when i
[TS]
00:20:52
◼
►
had been away and on my own and fancy
[TS]
00:20:54
◼
►
for a while and then you go spend some
[TS]
00:20:56
◼
►
time with your relatives with you and
[TS]
00:20:58
◼
►
friends we know and you get to you go
[TS]
00:21:00
◼
►
and you read read books and you look at
[TS]
00:21:03
◼
►
Harpers and stuff and think you got it
[TS]
00:21:04
◼
►
going on I just right you know it always
[TS]
00:21:06
◼
►
whenever I would go back home and I
[TS]
00:21:07
◼
►
don't mean to make people sound
[TS]
00:21:09
◼
►
provincial and I'm fancy but it always
[TS]
00:21:11
◼
►
really struck me how much and this is
[TS]
00:21:15
◼
►
this is so not part of my universe but i
[TS]
00:21:17
◼
►
think it's a lot of people's universe
[TS]
00:21:18
◼
►
like watching the local news at night
[TS]
00:21:20
◼
►
it's something like all old people did
[TS]
00:21:22
◼
►
when I was a kid it was something my
[TS]
00:21:23
◼
►
family did you always watch the local
[TS]
00:21:24
◼
►
news and you watch the national news
[TS]
00:21:26
◼
►
here and now today like I kind of can't
[TS]
00:21:28
◼
►
even fathom having been out of that
[TS]
00:21:30
◼
►
particular palette of babies for a while
[TS]
00:21:32
◼
►
going back to it and just seeing like
[TS]
00:21:35
◼
►
how how awful on every level the
[TS]
00:21:38
◼
►
reporting is not only awful in terms of
[TS]
00:21:40
◼
►
the subject matter but also how its
[TS]
00:21:42
◼
►
presented
[TS]
00:21:42
◼
►
and how narrowly is presented and
[TS]
00:21:44
◼
►
basically if you got your impression
[TS]
00:21:46
◼
►
about life from watching your own local
[TS]
00:21:48
◼
►
news you would understand that there's a
[TS]
00:21:50
◼
►
fifty percent chance of rain societies
[TS]
00:21:52
◼
►
falling apart
[TS]
00:21:53
◼
►
yeah every night all you get is this new
[TS]
00:21:55
◼
►
thing about like the you get a really
[TS]
00:21:58
◼
►
cloud idea of how often given thing
[TS]
00:22:00
◼
►
happens and yeah if you could keep
[TS]
00:22:02
◼
►
seeing the same mugshot of black guy
[TS]
00:22:03
◼
►
supposedly stab somebody or whatever and
[TS]
00:22:05
◼
►
over and over i got a young person in a
[TS]
00:22:09
◼
►
in a in a park standing in a dark
[TS]
00:22:11
◼
►
parking lot with a microphone telling
[TS]
00:22:13
◼
►
you about an apartment fire
[TS]
00:22:14
◼
►
we're like for grandmothers and a cat
[TS]
00:22:17
◼
►
died and it's like that is not essential
[TS]
00:22:19
◼
►
information it it just Stokes a thing in
[TS]
00:22:23
◼
►
me it is it is meant to stoke thing in
[TS]
00:22:26
◼
►
us that that you know that where we feel
[TS]
00:22:30
◼
►
on the verge of catastrophe at all times
[TS]
00:22:32
◼
►
yes I do not want to know about the
[TS]
00:22:35
◼
►
latest apartment fire
[TS]
00:22:37
◼
►
I just don't need to and and as an
[TS]
00:22:42
◼
►
empathetic person I need to I need to
[TS]
00:22:46
◼
►
make sure that the empathy is just
[TS]
00:22:49
◼
►
channeled in the right direction
[TS]
00:22:51
◼
►
you know what I mean like that is just
[TS]
00:22:52
◼
►
what that is doing is its its opening
[TS]
00:22:55
◼
►
the spigot are on my on my empathy maple
[TS]
00:23:00
◼
►
man is letting the empathy syrup drip
[TS]
00:23:03
◼
►
drip drip drip drip onto the forest
[TS]
00:23:05
◼
►
floor and we're not nothing
[TS]
00:23:06
◼
►
I'm not collecting it in a bucket and
[TS]
00:23:08
◼
►
I'm not making and I'm not putting it
[TS]
00:23:10
◼
►
over delicious pancakes just ripping my
[TS]
00:23:13
◼
►
empathy syrup on the forest floor it's
[TS]
00:23:15
◼
►
not it's not what I want
[TS]
00:23:17
◼
►
anyway so I am worried very worried but
[TS]
00:23:22
◼
►
i'm worried that all of the all of the
[TS]
00:23:25
◼
►
self-help manuals that I have digested
[TS]
00:23:27
◼
►
in the last weekend point to the
[TS]
00:23:30
◼
►
inescapable conclusion that maybe the
[TS]
00:23:35
◼
►
best thing the best practices are two
[TS]
00:23:39
◼
►
for someone like me at it it's to log
[TS]
00:23:44
◼
►
off over and if I were someone who was
[TS]
00:23:47
◼
►
not given to
[TS]
00:23:49
◼
►
abuse of substances maybe I could be
[TS]
00:23:54
◼
►
someone who did not abuse the internet
[TS]
00:23:57
◼
►
substance
[TS]
00:23:57
◼
►
oh yeah but I am a substance abuser and
[TS]
00:24:01
◼
►
the internet is another thing that I
[TS]
00:24:04
◼
►
can't you know because I've been lately
[TS]
00:24:07
◼
►
I've been asking myself the question I'm
[TS]
00:24:09
◼
►
sitting there I'm staring at my phone
[TS]
00:24:11
◼
►
the world is going by my you know my
[TS]
00:24:13
◼
►
child is growing up but the water is
[TS]
00:24:16
◼
►
boiling over on the stove and i'm
[TS]
00:24:19
◼
►
staring at my phone and there's a voice
[TS]
00:24:22
◼
►
in my head that's conscious of it and is
[TS]
00:24:24
◼
►
saying look at you look at you you're
[TS]
00:24:27
◼
►
sitting here staring at your phone you
[TS]
00:24:30
◼
►
know things are going awry and the other
[TS]
00:24:33
◼
►
the other voice the recording voice says
[TS]
00:24:36
◼
►
well what would you have me do not look
[TS]
00:24:38
◼
►
at my phone
[TS]
00:24:39
◼
►
that seems irresponsible and right and
[TS]
00:24:42
◼
►
and I don't have an answer for like if
[TS]
00:24:45
◼
►
you are if if I'm living in this in this
[TS]
00:24:48
◼
►
world where I am a where I'm a part of
[TS]
00:24:51
◼
►
social media where I where I perceive
[TS]
00:24:56
◼
►
that that's important to my career or
[TS]
00:24:58
◼
►
important to mine self-expression or my
[TS]
00:25:01
◼
►
sense of involvement belonging then yeah
[TS]
00:25:05
◼
►
what would you have me do not look at my
[TS]
00:25:07
◼
►
phone and I kit that's impossible
[TS]
00:25:09
◼
►
and so I had to go i had to go step back
[TS]
00:25:12
◼
►
and say like well what has Facebook done
[TS]
00:25:14
◼
►
for me lately and that I didn't have an
[TS]
00:25:19
◼
►
answer Marilyn uh-huh
[TS]
00:25:21
◼
►
what is facebook done for you lately you
[TS]
00:25:23
◼
►
don't even go on there
[TS]
00:25:24
◼
►
i deactivated my account years ago and
[TS]
00:25:27
◼
►
so what so what do you think you tell me
[TS]
00:25:29
◼
►
when you think would happen to me if I
[TS]
00:25:30
◼
►
stopped going on Twitter just stopped
[TS]
00:25:34
◼
►
I mean it'sit's as we record this it's a
[TS]
00:25:36
◼
►
monday i know you've had a lot of
[TS]
00:25:38
◼
►
knowledge to match your last night you
[TS]
00:25:41
◼
►
really are you really up for this all
[TS]
00:25:42
◼
►
weekend long been reading reading
[TS]
00:25:44
◼
►
reading and my brain is open
[TS]
00:25:46
◼
►
yeah I synapses are open I want some of
[TS]
00:25:50
◼
►
that patented hotdogs lady's computer
[TS]
00:25:55
◼
►
thinkI yes yes for Kennedy culture think
[TS]
00:25:58
◼
►
you wisdom that's that's what I do
[TS]
00:26:01
◼
►
I know I'm relish these talks uh well I
[TS]
00:26:07
◼
►
got a couple of thoughts you know you
[TS]
00:26:08
◼
►
know the only taught used to work at a
[TS]
00:26:10
◼
►
newsstand
[TS]
00:26:11
◼
►
I heard interesting interview you worked
[TS]
00:26:12
◼
►
there for three years did you say maybe
[TS]
00:26:15
◼
►
longer it was the longest my newsstand
[TS]
00:26:17
◼
►
job is the longest job I ever had but
[TS]
00:26:19
◼
►
you know back in those days or even
[TS]
00:26:20
◼
►
today you pick up a copy of The
[TS]
00:26:21
◼
►
Economist I used to subscribe to The
[TS]
00:26:24
◼
►
Economist now I'm not here now I
[TS]
00:26:25
◼
►
understand even mentioning the name of a
[TS]
00:26:27
◼
►
magazine we're going to get into bios or
[TS]
00:26:29
◼
►
whatever but you know whatever people
[TS]
00:26:30
◼
►
you know preach or advise at me about
[TS]
00:26:35
◼
►
the importance of staying informed via
[TS]
00:26:38
◼
►
you know forcing a fire hose into your
[TS]
00:26:41
◼
►
mouth for 18 hours a day
[TS]
00:26:42
◼
►
I'm always tempted to say you know what
[TS]
00:26:44
◼
►
one in the past 12 when I felt like I
[TS]
00:26:46
◼
►
wanted to stay informed
[TS]
00:26:48
◼
►
I one of the best things i think a
[TS]
00:26:50
◼
►
person can do this is not necessarily
[TS]
00:26:51
◼
►
for you but this help me is to do
[TS]
00:26:54
◼
►
exactly what you're saying which is to
[TS]
00:26:55
◼
►
spend less time seeking out new sources
[TS]
00:26:57
◼
►
that are basically about what's changed
[TS]
00:27:00
◼
►
in the last 12 hours the arm and i don't
[TS]
00:27:04
◼
►
know i think he is really old guy
[TS]
00:27:06
◼
►
thinking I guess but gets find a source
[TS]
00:27:08
◼
►
that you like one reason i like the
[TS]
00:27:09
◼
►
economist is that you can go through and
[TS]
00:27:11
◼
►
you can read we've probably talked about
[TS]
00:27:13
◼
►
this you do and read those first
[TS]
00:27:15
◼
►
whatever half dozen pages which has like
[TS]
00:27:18
◼
►
a paragraph or two about what's
[TS]
00:27:19
◼
►
happening all over the world and you
[TS]
00:27:23
◼
►
should i think what you might want to do
[TS]
00:27:25
◼
►
person environment the economist is very
[TS]
00:27:28
◼
►
Tory but they're very Pro capital but
[TS]
00:27:31
◼
►
with that said it's I mean you know the
[TS]
00:27:33
◼
►
thing is you could also pick out which
[TS]
00:27:35
◼
►
of like they do read five different
[TS]
00:27:36
◼
►
encyclopedias well no you read an
[TS]
00:27:38
◼
►
encyclopedia enough to know what to look
[TS]
00:27:40
◼
►
at next
[TS]
00:27:41
◼
►
so whatever one's given sources the
[TS]
00:27:42
◼
►
reason i like that though is it is a way
[TS]
00:27:44
◼
►
of going in and saying wow I didn't know
[TS]
00:27:46
◼
►
the name of this country in africa and
[TS]
00:27:48
◼
►
they're having a problem down there
[TS]
00:27:49
◼
►
that's something i didn't hear about
[TS]
00:27:50
◼
►
with the firehose I had jammed in my
[TS]
00:27:52
◼
►
well right that's and that and and and
[TS]
00:27:55
◼
►
the economist is great for that because
[TS]
00:27:56
◼
►
they treat like they do talk about the
[TS]
00:27:58
◼
►
world but the reason I think it's
[TS]
00:28:00
◼
►
quickly the only reason i mention that
[TS]
00:28:01
◼
►
though is that I and I'll take out my
[TS]
00:28:04
◼
►
Long Knives the people who are ok with
[TS]
00:28:07
◼
►
unintentionally or unconsciously
[TS]
00:28:09
◼
►
spending three to six hours a day
[TS]
00:28:11
◼
►
consuming what's changed in news and
[TS]
00:28:14
◼
►
last few minutes or hours i wonder if
[TS]
00:28:16
◼
►
they could find the time to sit down
[TS]
00:28:18
◼
►
once a week and read all the way through
[TS]
00:28:21
◼
►
even just that digest the information
[TS]
00:28:24
◼
►
because that that's the real test if you
[TS]
00:28:26
◼
►
really care that much about what's going
[TS]
00:28:28
◼
►
on in the world why don't you sit down
[TS]
00:28:30
◼
►
like a gentleman and find out what's
[TS]
00:28:31
◼
►
actually going on in the world
[TS]
00:28:33
◼
►
yeah um and and that's not the only
[TS]
00:28:34
◼
►
thing to do but i think that's a good
[TS]
00:28:36
◼
►
place to start because now if you go and
[TS]
00:28:37
◼
►
follow all of that stuff that's what
[TS]
00:28:39
◼
►
that's what smart people do is they look
[TS]
00:28:42
◼
►
at different sources but they also try
[TS]
00:28:44
◼
►
to get at least a gloss on what's
[TS]
00:28:45
◼
►
happening all over the place
[TS]
00:28:47
◼
►
yeah that's what smart people did you
[TS]
00:28:49
◼
►
look at a you know look at that even a
[TS]
00:28:52
◼
►
Clemenza Clemenza a new Hitler was a
[TS]
00:28:53
◼
►
problem years before anybody else did
[TS]
00:28:55
◼
►
you know what Clemenza had you know club
[TS]
00:28:57
◼
►
listen if you're going to need to make
[TS]
00:28:59
◼
►
sauce who for a bunch of guys we're
[TS]
00:29:03
◼
►
going to do you get a little meatball
[TS]
00:29:05
◼
►
yeah you know some Tomatoes you know
[TS]
00:29:07
◼
►
what stick
[TS]
00:29:08
◼
►
no one's paying attention yeah i don't
[TS]
00:29:10
◼
►
know i mean i struggle with because I
[TS]
00:29:11
◼
►
got back and forth with you know in my
[TS]
00:29:13
◼
►
location and my personal stuff is
[TS]
00:29:15
◼
►
starting with what you're saying there's
[TS]
00:29:17
◼
►
a school of thought it's all about
[TS]
00:29:19
◼
►
unplugging the router which I think can
[TS]
00:29:21
◼
►
be useful if you've got a deadline and
[TS]
00:29:23
◼
►
you just need to make words on a page
[TS]
00:29:25
◼
►
that Grady a good short-term thing and
[TS]
00:29:27
◼
►
in some ways it's a little similar to
[TS]
00:29:29
◼
►
cold turkey with the substance but in
[TS]
00:29:32
◼
►
the end I think it's about sort of read
[TS]
00:29:35
◼
►
read digging the road you know I almost
[TS]
00:29:39
◼
►
think about wagons of wagon wheels ruts
[TS]
00:29:41
◼
►
in the road and how hard it is to get
[TS]
00:29:43
◼
►
out of any kind of habit like that I
[TS]
00:29:45
◼
►
think you kind of have to learn to be
[TS]
00:29:46
◼
►
mindful on your own that you're doing
[TS]
00:29:48
◼
►
that you know my my problem is more just
[TS]
00:29:52
◼
►
more than just the regular consumption
[TS]
00:29:54
◼
►
of news you know that this is this is a
[TS]
00:29:56
◼
►
problem we've talked about before it's a
[TS]
00:29:58
◼
►
problem that's you know kind of been it
[TS]
00:30:00
◼
►
was true even in in the daily newspaper
[TS]
00:30:03
◼
►
days if you got the daily newspaper you
[TS]
00:30:05
◼
►
would be reading the same period that
[TS]
00:30:06
◼
►
leave watching evening news like we've
[TS]
00:30:08
◼
►
said but what's happening what's
[TS]
00:30:10
◼
►
different about the internet is that
[TS]
00:30:11
◼
►
there is this semiotic discussion
[TS]
00:30:15
◼
►
happening simultaneously
[TS]
00:30:16
◼
►
yeah you know and so you're you're it's
[TS]
00:30:19
◼
►
not just that you're reading the Daily
[TS]
00:30:21
◼
►
News it's that you're reading the Daily
[TS]
00:30:23
◼
►
News and then every single editorial
[TS]
00:30:26
◼
►
come in the country including the
[TS]
00:30:30
◼
►
including a UH a wide number of
[TS]
00:30:32
◼
►
editorial columns from like a the nation
[TS]
00:30:37
◼
►
of islam and editorial columns from the
[TS]
00:30:39
◼
►
Socialist Workers paper and editorial
[TS]
00:30:42
◼
►
columns from like five or six written by
[TS]
00:30:46
◼
►
high school students and you know what I
[TS]
00:30:49
◼
►
mean like like I i'm having semiotic
[TS]
00:30:51
◼
►
overload i do not want any more analysis
[TS]
00:30:54
◼
►
I'm not getting anything out of it I
[TS]
00:30:56
◼
►
don't feel like the the ball is being
[TS]
00:30:59
◼
►
advanced culturally by every single
[TS]
00:31:02
◼
►
person having their anger there every
[TS]
00:31:06
◼
►
single person expressing their doubts
[TS]
00:31:08
◼
►
and confusion in the form of a really
[TS]
00:31:11
◼
►
know what they imagine is the real
[TS]
00:31:13
◼
►
solution right an announcement and I
[TS]
00:31:16
◼
►
write their dead here are my doubts
[TS]
00:31:17
◼
►
couched in a in a in the in the form of
[TS]
00:31:20
◼
►
a program is anything like a monograph
[TS]
00:31:22
◼
►
for me out right and so that seems to be
[TS]
00:31:26
◼
►
the thing I cannot avoid I i turn on i
[TS]
00:31:29
◼
►
mean i follow a really wide swath of
[TS]
00:31:32
◼
►
people and thinkers I try to have a
[TS]
00:31:35
◼
►
really wide ranging sort of balanced
[TS]
00:31:38
◼
►
group of people that i'm following and
[TS]
00:31:43
◼
►
so what that produces is a twitter feed
[TS]
00:31:44
◼
►
that's like the the Israelis are them
[TS]
00:31:47
◼
►
are the most evil people who ever lived
[TS]
00:31:50
◼
►
on the word on the face of the earth
[TS]
00:31:51
◼
►
there just like Hitler so you're like
[TS]
00:31:53
◼
►
the worst most argumentative party ever
[TS]
00:31:55
◼
►
yeah and then absolutely the next tweet
[TS]
00:31:57
◼
►
is like the Palestinians are using
[TS]
00:32:00
◼
►
children as shields and then the next
[TS]
00:32:01
◼
►
one is like did you ever notice about
[TS]
00:32:04
◼
►
did you ever notice that the Ukrainian
[TS]
00:32:06
◼
►
government is you know is infiltrated by
[TS]
00:32:09
◼
►
russian spies and then the next as
[TS]
00:32:12
◼
►
literally the next week is just like
[TS]
00:32:14
◼
►
Russia has a right to maintain the
[TS]
00:32:17
◼
►
integrity of our own borders and and
[TS]
00:32:19
◼
►
it's just like i'm i'm i'm reading all
[TS]
00:32:21
◼
►
of the propaganda from every sect
[TS]
00:32:24
◼
►
there's no it ends up almost being like
[TS]
00:32:26
◼
►
you're almost find yourself getting your
[TS]
00:32:29
◼
►
information from amateur press releases
[TS]
00:32:30
◼
►
and and then and then and every 15th one
[TS]
00:32:34
◼
►
will be a professional press release
[TS]
00:32:35
◼
►
that just seems to be like us
[TS]
00:32:38
◼
►
sit in comparison like incredibly
[TS]
00:32:41
◼
►
mealy-mouthed than and non-committal and
[TS]
00:32:44
◼
►
it's just like oh my god I I don't want
[TS]
00:32:47
◼
►
to be I do not want to be in the
[TS]
00:32:49
◼
►
parliament of of the moment you know
[TS]
00:32:54
◼
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yeah I will I want to be in I want to
[TS]
00:32:57
◼
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read the historical record I find that
[TS]
00:32:59
◼
►
interesting and I want to sit in the
[TS]
00:33:02
◼
►
Algonquin Hotel with a bunch of smart
[TS]
00:33:04
◼
►
people and listen to their like
[TS]
00:33:06
◼
►
witticisms about things but I'm what I'm
[TS]
00:33:09
◼
►
listening to is the Minister of
[TS]
00:33:11
◼
►
Information of 1,000,000 sex most of
[TS]
00:33:16
◼
►
them are a sect of one or a sect of four
[TS]
00:33:19
◼
►
or sect of 40 and a and I feel like and
[TS]
00:33:25
◼
►
then on and then over on facebook of
[TS]
00:33:27
◼
►
course it's it's um it's all of the
[TS]
00:33:30
◼
►
ministers of information for a thousand
[TS]
00:33:32
◼
►
different families i don't care about
[TS]
00:33:33
◼
►
you know and so anyway I guess it's the
[TS]
00:33:39
◼
►
two different baby problems you got
[TS]
00:33:41
◼
►
pallets of babies on Twitter and then
[TS]
00:33:43
◼
►
you got literally thousands of photos of
[TS]
00:33:45
◼
►
fresh babies present raises fresh happy
[TS]
00:33:47
◼
►
babies either kind of the the linchpin
[TS]
00:33:50
◼
►
hear ya babies babies which are being
[TS]
00:33:53
◼
►
you know like you are you're being shown
[TS]
00:33:55
◼
►
that they are being swaddled in
[TS]
00:33:57
◼
►
privilege which you already know they're
[TS]
00:34:01
◼
►
going to have to really confront later
[TS]
00:34:03
◼
►
like I look over on facebook and it's
[TS]
00:34:06
◼
►
like look at all these baby swaddled in
[TS]
00:34:07
◼
►
privilege and then I go over to Twitter
[TS]
00:34:09
◼
►
and they're like all these baby swans
[TS]
00:34:11
◼
►
and a privilege and it's like hey I
[TS]
00:34:15
◼
►
don't want to be a part of that
[TS]
00:34:16
◼
►
conversation is not interesting to me
[TS]
00:34:18
◼
►
anymore and I thought it was that's
[TS]
00:34:19
◼
►
what's great and what can you add to
[TS]
00:34:21
◼
►
that you know anyone and what can you
[TS]
00:34:23
◼
►
derive from it you know and then this is
[TS]
00:34:25
◼
►
this is why i feel like i need to lock
[TS]
00:34:27
◼
►
off because I sit down and I try and
[TS]
00:34:29
◼
►
write my own thing and I go this is just
[TS]
00:34:32
◼
►
and I'm just another person i'm just
[TS]
00:34:34
◼
►
another person I don't want to be
[TS]
00:34:35
◼
►
another person i have never been another
[TS]
00:34:37
◼
►
person that's not good i I'm this person
[TS]
00:34:39
◼
►
I am dog person not a person
[TS]
00:34:43
◼
►
it happens mainly on your phone right it
[TS]
00:34:47
◼
►
happens mainly on my phone and one of
[TS]
00:34:48
◼
►
the great things i was i moved my eye
[TS]
00:34:52
◼
►
desktop from my house to my office so at
[TS]
00:34:58
◼
►
three o'clock in the morning i am no
[TS]
00:34:59
◼
►
longer sitting at my desk in my home
[TS]
00:35:01
◼
►
reading about firing pins or something
[TS]
00:35:04
◼
►
right there yeah exactly following you
[TS]
00:35:07
◼
►
know like I I it's not as fun to sit on
[TS]
00:35:10
◼
►
your phone and like read the biography
[TS]
00:35:14
◼
►
of Wellington and so that you know
[TS]
00:35:17
◼
►
moving my my computer down in my office
[TS]
00:35:19
◼
►
has been a has been very healthy and it
[TS]
00:35:23
◼
►
might be a thing where i go back to you
[TS]
00:35:26
◼
►
know what I originally was on Twitter I
[TS]
00:35:28
◼
►
only did it from my desktop computer
[TS]
00:35:30
◼
►
I didn't have because I didn't have a
[TS]
00:35:32
◼
►
smartphone i just had a flip phone and
[TS]
00:35:35
◼
►
you know it might be one of those stuff
[TS]
00:35:38
◼
►
but you know what that feels like that
[TS]
00:35:39
◼
►
feels like I only drink brown liquor or
[TS]
00:35:41
◼
►
I only drink beer on wednesdays are you
[TS]
00:35:45
◼
►
know it feels like I know I know
[TS]
00:35:46
◼
►
yeah no I get that no reason i say it is
[TS]
00:35:49
◼
►
a i mean i think one first line of
[TS]
00:35:53
◼
►
defense if you haven't already is to
[TS]
00:35:55
◼
►
turn off as many notifications
[TS]
00:35:58
◼
►
I don't have any notification alright
[TS]
00:36:00
◼
►
well I i find out every day how many
[TS]
00:36:02
◼
►
people have notifications for things
[TS]
00:36:03
◼
►
like at responses that kind of blows me
[TS]
00:36:05
◼
►
yeah those people either and you know
[TS]
00:36:07
◼
►
they had you know that you know who they
[TS]
00:36:09
◼
►
are because they replied you instantly
[TS]
00:36:11
◼
►
know yet another thing you can do this
[TS]
00:36:13
◼
►
is a very low level room high-level
[TS]
00:36:16
◼
►
silly my fact which is that you can the
[TS]
00:36:19
◼
►
apps that you find yourself most
[TS]
00:36:20
◼
►
attracted to you might want to move that
[TS]
00:36:22
◼
►
way off the front page
[TS]
00:36:24
◼
►
it's not that much harder to get to but
[TS]
00:36:26
◼
►
if there's something that's what lawyers
[TS]
00:36:27
◼
►
call an attractive nuisance I i find
[TS]
00:36:29
◼
►
even something as simple as for me
[TS]
00:36:31
◼
►
definitely taking out of the dock and a
[TS]
00:36:33
◼
►
little shelf at the bottom and further
[TS]
00:36:35
◼
►
to that taking it off of the homepage
[TS]
00:36:38
◼
►
further to that take it to a faraway
[TS]
00:36:39
◼
►
page and putting it all in a little
[TS]
00:36:41
◼
►
folder I can still just as easily search
[TS]
00:36:43
◼
►
for it but it's still more work than
[TS]
00:36:44
◼
►
turning on my phone and hitting that
[TS]
00:36:46
◼
►
button which is I maybe you're not like
[TS]
00:36:49
◼
►
this but for me I'm like a little monkey
[TS]
00:36:50
◼
►
when I when I hit that scene at home
[TS]
00:36:52
◼
►
screen it's i am like a little what like
[TS]
00:36:55
◼
►
almost like a logo on our band that you
[TS]
00:36:57
◼
►
can see my little cylinders flipping
[TS]
00:36:59
◼
►
around trying to figure which one of
[TS]
00:37:00
◼
►
these distractions I should click on
[TS]
00:37:01
◼
►
first I very rarely click on the thing
[TS]
00:37:03
◼
►
let me write something
[TS]
00:37:04
◼
►
i'm more likely going to hit something
[TS]
00:37:06
◼
►
like email or tweet pot or Twitter you
[TS]
00:37:09
◼
►
know in my case like that that can help
[TS]
00:37:12
◼
►
um here's what I here's what I click on
[TS]
00:37:14
◼
►
my phone ok but and this is you know and
[TS]
00:37:16
◼
►
I'm I've always been embarrassed about
[TS]
00:37:18
◼
►
this I'm kind of embarrassed to share it
[TS]
00:37:19
◼
►
but I go to turn on my phone I look at
[TS]
00:37:23
◼
►
my email and generally i have a feeling
[TS]
00:37:26
◼
►
of dread this has the emails loading and
[TS]
00:37:29
◼
►
then I go to Twitter and I generally
[TS]
00:37:33
◼
►
have a kind of a mild feeling of dread
[TS]
00:37:35
◼
►
as x @ replies load like which person is
[TS]
00:37:39
◼
►
going to yell at me for something that i
[TS]
00:37:41
◼
►
wrote uh two weeks ago right and then
[TS]
00:37:46
◼
►
that feeling of dread goes away when i
[TS]
00:37:47
◼
►
read a bunch of like the replies that
[TS]
00:37:51
◼
►
are trying to enlist me in some kind of
[TS]
00:37:53
◼
►
hijinks you know but it's that it's that
[TS]
00:37:56
◼
►
it's that like oh god don't let this be
[TS]
00:37:58
◼
►
bad and then it's like oh this is bad
[TS]
00:38:00
◼
►
this was full of praise and this is
[TS]
00:38:02
◼
►
great i have that like up and down and
[TS]
00:38:05
◼
►
then I go over and I i click on facebook
[TS]
00:38:08
◼
►
and almost half the time that the
[TS]
00:38:12
◼
►
interface the app is slow to load or the
[TS]
00:38:16
◼
►
facebook at some you know Facebook right
[TS]
00:38:17
◼
►
now anytime to unconsciously hold your
[TS]
00:38:20
◼
►
yeah and and right now they want me to
[TS]
00:38:22
◼
►
download their messenger a pirate and
[TS]
00:38:24
◼
►
refused to do it so i have like I have
[TS]
00:38:26
◼
►
this backlog of messages that people
[TS]
00:38:29
◼
►
have sent me in facebook that i cannot
[TS]
00:38:31
◼
►
read oh my god because facebook what
[TS]
00:38:34
◼
►
insists that I download their thing I
[TS]
00:38:36
◼
►
can't read it and so I haven't read them
[TS]
00:38:39
◼
►
and maybe some of those people are like
[TS]
00:38:41
◼
►
time-sensitive help but you have crabs
[TS]
00:38:46
◼
►
so sorry shouldn't have tried to contact
[TS]
00:38:48
◼
►
me on facebook and then I then the
[TS]
00:38:51
◼
►
fourth thing I do on my phone as I go
[TS]
00:38:52
◼
►
play solitaire I'll and that's why I I
[TS]
00:38:55
◼
►
don't spoil the image on my suggestion
[TS]
00:38:57
◼
►
is he more video games
[TS]
00:38:58
◼
►
I don't see that's the thing i don't
[TS]
00:38:59
◼
►
have enough video games and I don't I
[TS]
00:39:01
◼
►
serious you need to get yourself i'm
[TS]
00:39:03
◼
►
gonna suggest a game called threes that
[TS]
00:39:05
◼
►
means you would really like lives is
[TS]
00:39:07
◼
►
that does that is that like is it titled
[TS]
00:39:09
◼
►
by its by like age appropriateness yes
[TS]
00:39:12
◼
►
now configure breeds that thing is I'm
[TS]
00:39:14
◼
►
just telling you whenever I find myself
[TS]
00:39:16
◼
►
this is this
[TS]
00:39:17
◼
►
you know and antithetical to lots of
[TS]
00:39:19
◼
►
things but when i find myself going to
[TS]
00:39:21
◼
►
her and I go to read this dumb news
[TS]
00:39:24
◼
►
article I don't want to read and then it
[TS]
00:39:25
◼
►
loads slowly and then there's a pop-up
[TS]
00:39:27
◼
►
that I have to dismiss and then there's
[TS]
00:39:29
◼
►
a slideshow to find out you know 17
[TS]
00:39:31
◼
►
important celebrity boobs and like now
[TS]
00:39:33
◼
►
what am i doing i close and open up
[TS]
00:39:35
◼
►
threes and this little song goes
[TS]
00:39:37
◼
►
done done done and then Anna but I'm
[TS]
00:39:40
◼
►
bump and move little cards little tiles
[TS]
00:39:42
◼
►
around and I find it incredibly
[TS]
00:39:44
◼
►
centering and I might be there in 20
[TS]
00:39:45
◼
►
minutes
[TS]
00:39:46
◼
►
so can and it's a better it's a better
[TS]
00:39:48
◼
►
thing it's a waste of time but it is a
[TS]
00:39:50
◼
►
solitary a political non-emotional waste
[TS]
00:39:54
◼
►
of time
[TS]
00:39:55
◼
►
C&I you know and I i play this fucking
[TS]
00:39:58
◼
►
solitaire game I used to play a mahjongg
[TS]
00:40:00
◼
►
and for that I think that played
[TS]
00:40:03
◼
►
mahjongg like around the first idea
[TS]
00:40:05
◼
►
about how to play mahjong i would get
[TS]
00:40:06
◼
►
along so much better in my neighborhood
[TS]
00:40:08
◼
►
if I knew that
[TS]
00:40:08
◼
►
oh yeah I loved by I had to take
[TS]
00:40:11
◼
►
mahjongg off my phone because I did it
[TS]
00:40:14
◼
►
exclusive of almost everything else and
[TS]
00:40:17
◼
►
before that of course it was Tetris I am
[TS]
00:40:19
◼
►
um and I find that if you know I'm i
[TS]
00:40:22
◼
►
know i'm not alone and all right of
[TS]
00:40:24
◼
►
course we've talked about before tetris
[TS]
00:40:26
◼
►
it was minesweeper but if you could get
[TS]
00:40:29
◼
►
paid to play minesweeper I would be the
[TS]
00:40:31
◼
►
richest man in the world over because
[TS]
00:40:33
◼
►
it's all i want to do really but I i
[TS]
00:40:37
◼
►
think i think the the revelation without
[TS]
00:40:41
◼
►
question when i first started really
[TS]
00:40:45
◼
►
participating on the internet because
[TS]
00:40:46
◼
►
you remember when wet when i was at the
[TS]
00:40:50
◼
►
height of my music career I was actively
[TS]
00:40:53
◼
►
discouraged by a lot of people from even
[TS]
00:40:56
◼
►
going on the internet to comment on
[TS]
00:40:58
◼
►
things or participate because it is
[TS]
00:41:01
◼
►
initially the idea was you're a rockstar
[TS]
00:41:04
◼
►
keep that mr. mythology keep the mystery
[TS]
00:41:08
◼
►
about yourself you don't wanna be too
[TS]
00:41:10
◼
►
accessible you don't want your fans to
[TS]
00:41:12
◼
►
feel like you're just a regular person i
[TS]
00:41:15
◼
►
mean i got this council from all kinds
[TS]
00:41:16
◼
►
of people
[TS]
00:41:18
◼
►
we wanted when I met you you had a very
[TS]
00:41:20
◼
►
strongly held opinion on that
[TS]
00:41:21
◼
►
yeah right well because I you know I
[TS]
00:41:23
◼
►
thought about it a lot and I was like
[TS]
00:41:24
◼
►
listen I don't want to just be on there
[TS]
00:41:26
◼
►
just like a regular because you would
[TS]
00:41:29
◼
►
diminish and this goes straight back
[TS]
00:41:30
◼
►
again to this interview have my friend
[TS]
00:41:32
◼
►
and protector the other day when you
[TS]
00:41:33
◼
►
were talking about your impression you
[TS]
00:41:35
◼
►
said this numerous times your impression
[TS]
00:41:36
◼
►
of being of arriving in rock and up
[TS]
00:41:39
◼
►
through the late nineties was I think
[TS]
00:41:42
◼
►
you can get a private jet with the so
[TS]
00:41:44
◼
►
symbol on it
[TS]
00:41:45
◼
►
yeah yeah and then and you know that is
[TS]
00:41:47
◼
►
not the kind of people who respond you
[TS]
00:41:50
◼
►
know you don't sit on your jet
[TS]
00:41:50
◼
►
responding to comments like Robert Plant
[TS]
00:41:53
◼
►
never wrote a letter back to a kid they
[TS]
00:41:56
◼
►
just slap in the face with his dick
[TS]
00:41:58
◼
►
yeah you just say to send like so he'd
[TS]
00:42:00
◼
►
send you a fish in the mail like you
[TS]
00:42:02
◼
►
know that is the jet not only had soso
[TS]
00:42:05
◼
►
written on the side that had a sunken
[TS]
00:42:06
◼
►
living room in it and the carpeting John
[TS]
00:42:09
◼
►
Sheppard so at a certain point
[TS]
00:42:13
◼
►
yeah you know at in 2007 or whatever I
[TS]
00:42:16
◼
►
abandoned that and I went into the
[TS]
00:42:19
◼
►
internet i remember when i first joined
[TS]
00:42:20
◼
►
twitter I tiptoed in and I was doing I
[TS]
00:42:24
◼
►
was sending tweets out that were that
[TS]
00:42:26
◼
►
were intentionally kind of like just a
[TS]
00:42:28
◼
►
different side of myself kind of like
[TS]
00:42:30
◼
►
funny little surreal little tweets that
[TS]
00:42:33
◼
►
I never ever referred to even music let
[TS]
00:42:37
◼
►
alone my own music
[TS]
00:42:38
◼
►
I was just talking about the mundane
[TS]
00:42:40
◼
►
stuff around my house and I really
[TS]
00:42:42
◼
►
enjoyed it i really enjoyed the response
[TS]
00:42:44
◼
►
in a different world i mean you are you
[TS]
00:42:46
◼
►
coming to 2008-2009 2007-2008 yeah and
[TS]
00:42:52
◼
►
it was a different it was a different
[TS]
00:42:53
◼
►
time but but I don't want to be all the
[TS]
00:42:55
◼
►
sentimental about it but then there was
[TS]
00:42:57
◼
►
a then there was a very definite time in
[TS]
00:43:00
◼
►
the sort of middle part where I
[TS]
00:43:03
◼
►
absolutely felt like being a participant
[TS]
00:43:08
◼
►
in the internet was furthering my it was
[TS]
00:43:13
◼
►
advancing my personal brand
[TS]
00:43:18
◼
►
it was advancing my career in a way that
[TS]
00:43:21
◼
►
people knew me now differently the it I
[TS]
00:43:25
◼
►
wasn't reliant on that small handful of
[TS]
00:43:29
◼
►
music magazines that were writing about
[TS]
00:43:31
◼
►
me I wasn't reliant on them to get my
[TS]
00:43:33
◼
►
message out or I didn't have to i didn't
[TS]
00:43:36
◼
►
have to hide
[TS]
00:43:39
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I wasn't creating mystery about myself
[TS]
00:43:42
◼
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because I was in I I didn't need to
[TS]
00:43:44
◼
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create it because I was intrinsically
[TS]
00:43:47
◼
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mysterious enough to be interesting and
[TS]
00:43:50
◼
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end and so people started asking me to
[TS]
00:43:53
◼
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do things i started to get work i was
[TS]
00:43:55
◼
►
able to maintain a career even in the
[TS]
00:43:58
◼
►
absence of releasing new records you
[TS]
00:44:01
◼
►
know it for the internet felt like a
[TS]
00:44:02
◼
►
great and and I was having arguments
[TS]
00:44:04
◼
►
with people in rock-and-roll who were
[TS]
00:44:09
◼
►
some of the mad that i was wasting time
[TS]
00:44:12
◼
►
on the internet some of them jealous
[TS]
00:44:14
◼
►
that I was able can watch you not doing
[TS]
00:44:16
◼
►
what they were expecting you to do
[TS]
00:44:18
◼
►
yeah and there were a lot of you know a
[TS]
00:44:20
◼
►
lot of my fellow musicians were like
[TS]
00:44:22
◼
►
envious of the kind of other life i was
[TS]
00:44:26
◼
►
able to have on the internet because
[TS]
00:44:28
◼
►
they would go on Twitter or whatever and
[TS]
00:44:31
◼
►
they didn't know what to say and they
[TS]
00:44:33
◼
►
were grateful for the fact that their
[TS]
00:44:36
◼
►
message had been masked that they were
[TS]
00:44:41
◼
►
they were grateful that they only had to
[TS]
00:44:43
◼
►
give five interviews a year they didn't
[TS]
00:44:44
◼
►
want to
[TS]
00:44:45
◼
►
they felt like going on the internet was
[TS]
00:44:46
◼
►
like giving an interview every day and
[TS]
00:44:48
◼
►
that was their worst nightmare also is
[TS]
00:44:50
◼
►
not only distraction but it was so I'm
[TS]
00:44:55
◼
►
looking for watering down their
[TS]
00:44:58
◼
►
messaging well yeah and also it was
[TS]
00:45:00
◼
►
revealing about them something that they
[TS]
00:45:03
◼
►
feared which was that their music was
[TS]
00:45:06
◼
►
the most interesting thing about them
[TS]
00:45:07
◼
►
and the music was the message and if you
[TS]
00:45:11
◼
►
took away that then they just that they
[TS]
00:45:14
◼
►
didn't have anything to say they didn't
[TS]
00:45:16
◼
►
have an interesting viewpoint right it
[TS]
00:45:19
◼
►
was the the music was there interesting
[TS]
00:45:22
◼
►
viewpoint
[TS]
00:45:23
◼
►
and so there was a lot you know there
[TS]
00:45:24
◼
►
was there were and I still meet people
[TS]
00:45:26
◼
►
all the time that are like well you you
[TS]
00:45:28
◼
►
can do that because you seem to have
[TS]
00:45:31
◼
►
things to say but like I don't I I i
[TS]
00:45:33
◼
►
fail at it and that those are all those
[TS]
00:45:35
◼
►
Twitter accounts for bands that are just
[TS]
00:45:36
◼
►
like your upcoming shows ever
[TS]
00:45:39
◼
►
yeah but at a certain point I it's
[TS]
00:45:43
◼
►
inescapable to me that the that the
[TS]
00:45:48
◼
►
world has changed and i have changed and
[TS]
00:45:51
◼
►
now I do not feel any more like i am i'm
[TS]
00:45:55
◼
►
certainly not unique among entertainers
[TS]
00:45:57
◼
►
who have found a separate voice on the
[TS]
00:45:59
◼
►
internet that's very common and the
[TS]
00:46:03
◼
►
group think and the reciprocal echo
[TS]
00:46:07
◼
►
chamber e nature of all of the places
[TS]
00:46:09
◼
►
that exists right now i'm not i don't
[TS]
00:46:13
◼
►
feel not only do I not feel special
[TS]
00:46:15
◼
►
there but i don't feel like i'm getting
[TS]
00:46:16
◼
►
anything out of it and maybe I need to
[TS]
00:46:20
◼
►
maybe I need to go live on a mountain
[TS]
00:46:24
◼
►
yeah i mean you know i would still talk
[TS]
00:46:26
◼
►
to you from mountaintop thank you i
[TS]
00:46:30
◼
►
would talk to you on my shortwave radio
[TS]
00:46:31
◼
►
but you know mountaintop maybe what do
[TS]
00:46:37
◼
►
you think back to the mountaintop
[TS]
00:46:39
◼
►
because i don't want to know what I
[TS]
00:46:40
◼
►
think when i wrote pretend to fall
[TS]
00:46:42
◼
►
prefer i was living in an apartment
[TS]
00:46:45
◼
►
oh yes when you're in new york city new
[TS]
00:46:47
◼
►
york city i was living in an apartment a
[TS]
00:46:49
◼
►
hundred 18th Lexington the first long
[TS]
00:46:52
◼
►
winters record had not come out yet and
[TS]
00:46:54
◼
►
i was convinced that I was like at 32
[TS]
00:46:57
◼
►
years old was like completely over the
[TS]
00:46:59
◼
►
hill my whatever relevance i had was
[TS]
00:47:02
◼
►
going to be a kind of quaint relevance
[TS]
00:47:06
◼
►
and i was living in this apartment in
[TS]
00:47:09
◼
►
neighborhood where nobody would have
[TS]
00:47:11
◼
►
recognized me as anything other than
[TS]
00:47:15
◼
►
that guy that vaguely looks like a cop
[TS]
00:47:17
◼
►
who comes in every day and gets to don't
[TS]
00:47:19
◼
►
neatly in Harlem
[TS]
00:47:20
◼
►
yeah i donated elections in Spanish
[TS]
00:47:23
◼
►
so so a lot of the people you know the
[TS]
00:47:26
◼
►
the people at the copy shop at the
[TS]
00:47:28
◼
►
corner where I got my coffee and donut
[TS]
00:47:29
◼
►
every morning didn't speak English at
[TS]
00:47:30
◼
►
all and in that in that place of total
[TS]
00:47:34
◼
►
anonymity
[TS]
00:47:36
◼
►
I did not feel alone i did not feel
[TS]
00:47:37
◼
►
disconnected i went home every day and
[TS]
00:47:40
◼
►
and wrote I wrote all the songs for that
[TS]
00:47:43
◼
►
next album and i have not really had
[TS]
00:47:46
◼
►
that feeling of love you know complete
[TS]
00:47:51
◼
►
sort of um the the freedom of no
[TS]
00:47:56
◼
►
expectations i haven't had that feeling
[TS]
00:48:00
◼
►
since then because it because the moment
[TS]
00:48:02
◼
►
that you know the moment that next
[TS]
00:48:03
◼
►
record came out then I heard them are my
[TS]
00:48:05
◼
►
first record came out then I imagine
[TS]
00:48:07
◼
►
that there were people who had
[TS]
00:48:10
◼
►
expectations of me and then there were
[TS]
00:48:12
◼
►
people there were people who did but I
[TS]
00:48:16
◼
►
gave that you know I give those people
[TS]
00:48:17
◼
►
way more weight than they deserve
[TS]
00:48:20
◼
►
and ever since then I've been writing
[TS]
00:48:22
◼
►
you know I've been writing for an
[TS]
00:48:24
◼
►
audience I guess as opposed to just
[TS]
00:48:27
◼
►
writing for me now I that's a really I
[TS]
00:48:32
◼
►
think that's pretty and participation is
[TS]
00:48:35
◼
►
because I I've always felt like I hear
[TS]
00:48:38
◼
►
you because like when i was writing and
[TS]
00:48:40
◼
►
writing something everyday and putting
[TS]
00:48:42
◼
►
it up online i developed one good one I
[TS]
00:48:46
◼
►
think very good habit which was I knew
[TS]
00:48:47
◼
►
that was my job to put some words
[TS]
00:48:49
◼
►
together and make it go somewhere and
[TS]
00:48:52
◼
►
that's a good habit that's good habit
[TS]
00:48:53
◼
►
but when i accidentally picked up
[TS]
00:48:55
◼
►
several less good habits and the less
[TS]
00:48:57
◼
►
good habits have been much more durable
[TS]
00:48:59
◼
►
for me unless good habits are after i
[TS]
00:49:02
◼
►
posted that series of words regardless
[TS]
00:49:03
◼
►
of how well edited and thought through
[TS]
00:49:05
◼
►
it was I would immediately go and see
[TS]
00:49:07
◼
►
how well it was doing haha so and when I
[TS]
00:49:09
◼
►
got google analytics on my site boy that
[TS]
00:49:11
◼
►
was a real oh you could see in you can
[TS]
00:49:15
◼
►
see every aspect
[TS]
00:49:17
◼
►
yeah and I mean this i'm not trying to
[TS]
00:49:19
◼
►
beat myself up here but i think that I'm
[TS]
00:49:21
◼
►
probably not the first person in the
[TS]
00:49:23
◼
►
world who would spend 10 minutes writing
[TS]
00:49:25
◼
►
something and then x 3 minutes looking
[TS]
00:49:27
◼
►
at how well it was
[TS]
00:49:28
◼
►
like now for you that's that we talked
[TS]
00:49:31
◼
►
about we talked about this in our early
[TS]
00:49:32
◼
►
interviews you know when your record
[TS]
00:49:33
◼
►
comes out that first week you really
[TS]
00:49:34
◼
►
want to ride on the scout soundscan
[TS]
00:49:36
◼
►
staff to see how things are going
[TS]
00:49:38
◼
►
that's one week out of two or three
[TS]
00:49:40
◼
►
years right you may still not getting
[TS]
00:49:42
◼
►
this night i'm not trying to
[TS]
00:49:43
◼
►
oversimplify it but the trouble is like
[TS]
00:49:45
◼
►
it does it doesn't take very much
[TS]
00:49:47
◼
►
it really doesn't take very much in
[TS]
00:49:49
◼
►
terms of hits on your own ego or feeling
[TS]
00:49:51
◼
►
of ability self-esteem adjustability it
[TS]
00:49:54
◼
►
doesn't take very much to go pretty
[TS]
00:49:55
◼
►
quickly to like I can't wait to go see
[TS]
00:49:57
◼
►
how this thing did way more than I'm
[TS]
00:50:00
◼
►
going to be okay with it not nobody even
[TS]
00:50:02
◼
►
knowing what i'm doing for a month and
[TS]
00:50:04
◼
►
you can't even imagine that today nobody
[TS]
00:50:05
◼
►
even knowing that you're working on
[TS]
00:50:07
◼
►
something that feels unheard of
[TS]
00:50:09
◼
►
that's what I'm trying to picture i'm
[TS]
00:50:11
◼
►
sitting here trying to let myself make
[TS]
00:50:12
◼
►
John deck or something
[TS]
00:50:14
◼
►
sounds like some sort of some kind of
[TS]
00:50:15
◼
►
crazed you know person out in the woods
[TS]
00:50:18
◼
►
yeah his know who sitting there with
[TS]
00:50:21
◼
►
this toy piano and is real quick yeah
[TS]
00:50:24
◼
►
well what would happen to me
[TS]
00:50:26
◼
►
psychologically if no one gave me any
[TS]
00:50:29
◼
►
praise for a month
[TS]
00:50:31
◼
►
that wasn't standing right in front of
[TS]
00:50:33
◼
►
me oh my god
[TS]
00:50:35
◼
►
oh that's a thought technology you know
[TS]
00:50:37
◼
►
and what would happen if you're up for
[TS]
00:50:39
◼
►
the next month i worked on something and
[TS]
00:50:41
◼
►
saw things with my own eyes and shared
[TS]
00:50:44
◼
►
them with I don't know one so not only
[TS]
00:50:46
◼
►
would you not create stuff with the idea
[TS]
00:50:48
◼
►
that you congratulated on it like not
[TS]
00:50:50
◼
►
only would you not happen upon those
[TS]
00:50:54
◼
►
things you go out of your way to not
[TS]
00:50:55
◼
►
even notice what somebody thought about
[TS]
00:50:57
◼
►
you from what if I saw a duck carrying a
[TS]
00:51:01
◼
►
a ok like carrying a banana
[TS]
00:51:06
◼
►
I would not take a picture of it no
[TS]
00:51:08
◼
►
photo i would not talk about it i would
[TS]
00:51:12
◼
►
not come up with a third funny thing to
[TS]
00:51:14
◼
►
say about a duck carrying a banana and
[TS]
00:51:16
◼
►
it's got good
[TS]
00:51:18
◼
►
hey let me get a job they wanted and I
[TS]
00:51:21
◼
►
you know I would just see it then i
[TS]
00:51:26
◼
►
would go huh
[TS]
00:51:27
◼
►
just like I used to and it's another
[TS]
00:51:29
◼
►
fucking deck with a minute that's it is
[TS]
00:51:32
◼
►
how many by a dollar and then i would
[TS]
00:51:36
◼
►
get on with my fucking light that's so
[TS]
00:51:39
◼
►
funny to know why
[TS]
00:51:41
◼
►
I don't know and you know and the thing
[TS]
00:51:43
◼
►
is right now if I saw a duck with a
[TS]
00:51:44
◼
►
banana out the window and I didn't get a
[TS]
00:51:46
◼
►
picture of it I would be like oh fuck
[TS]
00:51:48
◼
►
rightful my whole week is ruined that
[TS]
00:51:51
◼
►
was like ah ha i have all right there
[TS]
00:51:55
◼
►
yeah it was me i had the phone pointed
[TS]
00:51:57
◼
►
at it and then my fucking iphone shut
[TS]
00:51:59
◼
►
down because it only had twenty nine
[TS]
00:52:01
◼
►
percent battery power this episode of
[TS]
00:52:07
◼
►
rock on the line is sponsored by our
[TS]
00:52:09
◼
►
very good friends at Squarespace you
[TS]
00:52:11
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know Squarespace they are the all-in-one
[TS]
00:52:13
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[TS]
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00:52:16
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00:52:20
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00:52:29
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00:52:44
◼
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00:52:46
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00:52:57
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00:53:00
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thanks to squarespace for supporting rod
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00:53:09
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on the line we could not do it without
[TS]
00:53:11
◼
►
like respect always supposed to live how
[TS]
00:53:17
◼
►
do we supposed to live I am I went to I
[TS]
00:53:23
◼
►
went to my daughter is a halloween day
[TS]
00:53:25
◼
►
at her school and I village officials
[TS]
00:53:27
◼
►
crossing share this great captain
[TS]
00:53:29
◼
►
america costume all her friends looked
[TS]
00:53:31
◼
►
adorable and ice I took lots of videos
[TS]
00:53:33
◼
►
lots of videos lots of videos and I
[TS]
00:53:36
◼
►
didn't realize until I taken like three
[TS]
00:53:37
◼
►
or four these really good like three
[TS]
00:53:39
◼
►
minute videos that i was doing this
[TS]
00:53:40
◼
►
thing that I always do which is I didn't
[TS]
00:53:43
◼
►
realize that i hadn't turned the video
[TS]
00:53:46
◼
►
hadn't started shooting and then i would
[TS]
00:53:49
◼
►
get pics pictures the whole time
[TS]
00:53:50
◼
►
no not even that no it's like I like
[TS]
00:53:52
◼
►
imagine me holding it up to the all
[TS]
00:53:54
◼
►
these adorable five
[TS]
00:53:55
◼
►
your old dressed up in costumes so I hit
[TS]
00:53:57
◼
►
the button i'm shooting for three
[TS]
00:53:58
◼
►
minutes and then I hit the button to
[TS]
00:53:59
◼
►
stop only realizing in that exact you
[TS]
00:54:01
◼
►
talk about this is some fucking
[TS]
00:54:02
◼
►
jean-paul Sartre shit
[TS]
00:54:04
◼
►
the second you hit that button it goes
[TS]
00:54:07
◼
►
up and starts recording and you realize
[TS]
00:54:09
◼
►
that you weren't recording for three
[TS]
00:54:10
◼
►
minutes and that's such a feeling like
[TS]
00:54:13
◼
►
that and that's a pretty good hard one
[TS]
00:54:15
◼
►
like i really wish i had more videos of
[TS]
00:54:16
◼
►
my daughter and her friends but it's
[TS]
00:54:18
◼
►
like man there goes there goes a fucking
[TS]
00:54:20
◼
►
talk with a banana and i'm sitting here
[TS]
00:54:22
◼
►
with my phone in my hand pointed at it
[TS]
00:54:25
◼
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it was right there and I just didn't put
[TS]
00:54:28
◼
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my thumb on the setup right I got the
[TS]
00:54:29
◼
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Sun behind me I know what I'm doing her
[TS]
00:54:31
◼
►
a semi-professional I know what I'm
[TS]
00:54:33
◼
►
doing PS god dammit so so this house I
[TS]
00:54:36
◼
►
got something a project you're thinking
[TS]
00:54:38
◼
►
about well you know i just i have to say
[TS]
00:54:40
◼
►
that that the reason this intruded upon
[TS]
00:54:45
◼
►
me so so profoundly was that I you know
[TS]
00:54:51
◼
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I have always had for the last 15 years
[TS]
00:54:54
◼
►
let's say the last two now let's say
[TS]
00:54:57
◼
►
last yeah let's say well let's let's
[TS]
00:55:00
◼
►
limited to 10 years for the last ten
[TS]
00:55:03
◼
►
years I have had five outstanding
[TS]
00:55:06
◼
►
projects all of which you know sometimes
[TS]
00:55:10
◼
►
the sometimes a project gets completed
[TS]
00:55:12
◼
►
right in that time I made three
[TS]
00:55:14
◼
►
full-length record albums and a an EP
[TS]
00:55:17
◼
►
and in that time I have produced some
[TS]
00:55:21
◼
►
number of podcast with you and I've
[TS]
00:55:24
◼
►
written some newspaper articles but uh
[TS]
00:55:29
◼
►
for that entire 10 years i have i have
[TS]
00:55:33
◼
►
had on the wall post it note that says
[TS]
00:55:35
◼
►
graduate from college
[TS]
00:55:37
◼
►
what an asshole and I look at that
[TS]
00:55:40
◼
►
posted i look at the edges are curled
[TS]
00:55:42
◼
►
it's all yellow the ink is faded it's in
[TS]
00:55:46
◼
►
fancy script
[TS]
00:55:47
◼
►
yeah but it says graduate from college
[TS]
00:55:49
◼
►
and I look at it and I go it would be
[TS]
00:55:52
◼
►
very easy for me to graduate from
[TS]
00:55:53
◼
►
college I have all the credits necessary
[TS]
00:55:55
◼
►
i just need to fill out the forms hand
[TS]
00:55:59
◼
►
in you know one paper on Karl Marx that
[TS]
00:56:02
◼
►
I copy out of Wikipedia
[TS]
00:56:05
◼
►
and submit you know my-my ungainly
[TS]
00:56:12
◼
►
thesis to them which is written but
[TS]
00:56:16
◼
►
which I which i withhold from them
[TS]
00:56:18
◼
►
because I don't feel that they have
[TS]
00:56:20
◼
►
earned it and so I look at that and I go
[TS]
00:56:23
◼
►
well I yeah I should absolutely you know
[TS]
00:56:26
◼
►
what there's a new quarter coming up I
[TS]
00:56:28
◼
►
should absolutely go down there this
[TS]
00:56:29
◼
►
quarter and I should figure out how to
[TS]
00:56:31
◼
►
graduate from college and I have gone
[TS]
00:56:33
◼
►
down to the University at the start of
[TS]
00:56:34
◼
►
the quarter eight times in the last 15
[TS]
00:56:39
◼
►
years and said to the said to my friends
[TS]
00:56:42
◼
►
down there hey I really want to graduate
[TS]
00:56:44
◼
►
from college this quarter and they say
[TS]
00:56:47
◼
►
oh well you gotta hand in that paper for
[TS]
00:56:49
◼
►
about marks and I go got-dammit and I go
[TS]
00:56:52
◼
►
home in it and I do nothing and and uh
[TS]
00:56:55
◼
►
in that time the people at the
[TS]
00:56:59
◼
►
University have changed right
[TS]
00:57:02
◼
►
the Maya my original advisor passed away
[TS]
00:57:07
◼
►
than the chairman of the department
[TS]
00:57:09
◼
►
handled me for a long time and then he
[TS]
00:57:11
◼
►
retired and then the guys that had been
[TS]
00:57:13
◼
►
ph sees when i started now we're running
[TS]
00:57:16
◼
►
the department and then now they are
[TS]
00:57:19
◼
►
retiring the next generation of
[TS]
00:57:23
◼
►
professors are starting to retire and
[TS]
00:57:26
◼
►
i'm still going down there with the same
[TS]
00:57:28
◼
►
problem so there's that there's my you
[TS]
00:57:32
◼
►
know my book uh my book about my walk
[TS]
00:57:35
◼
►
there is the the long winters album the
[TS]
00:57:39
◼
►
4th 4th full-length long winters album
[TS]
00:57:41
◼
►
which is completely recorded except for
[TS]
00:57:43
◼
►
vocals and has been for four years and
[TS]
00:57:46
◼
►
and then there are the you know the
[TS]
00:57:50
◼
►
various like other projects that are and
[TS]
00:57:54
◼
►
that i could sit and described to you
[TS]
00:57:56
◼
►
but that are fully formed in my mind
[TS]
00:57:59
◼
►
just have never liked no boots on the
[TS]
00:58:01
◼
►
ground right yeah
[TS]
00:58:03
◼
►
and now you know there's this new
[TS]
00:58:05
◼
►
concept of like why don't have a
[TS]
00:58:07
◼
►
television show someone somehow
[TS]
00:58:08
◼
►
everybody at people i meet in an airport
[TS]
00:58:10
◼
►
and talk to 45 minutes or like why don't
[TS]
00:58:11
◼
►
you have a television show ever given
[TS]
00:58:13
◼
►
away for a while and I'm like fuck why
[TS]
00:58:15
◼
►
don't have a television show anyway but
[TS]
00:58:18
◼
►
on a post-it note C right next to
[TS]
00:58:20
◼
►
graduate from college so I so I I and
[TS]
00:58:23
◼
►
the things i did not have a post-it note
[TS]
00:58:24
◼
►
that said have a kid but I went ahead
[TS]
00:58:27
◼
►
and did that I got that done and I so
[TS]
00:58:31
◼
►
I'm thinking about like what
[TS]
00:58:32
◼
►
so what is the what is keeping me from
[TS]
00:58:34
◼
►
finishing these things and honestly
[TS]
00:58:35
◼
►
right now it's insecurity more than
[TS]
00:58:39
◼
►
anything
[TS]
00:58:39
◼
►
look I know it you know i look at the
[TS]
00:58:41
◼
►
thing and I'm like oh god oh god I'd if
[TS]
00:58:44
◼
►
I finish that and it's bad that man
[TS]
00:58:47
◼
►
right there with you
[TS]
00:58:48
◼
►
yeah and so why do I want where's this
[TS]
00:58:51
◼
►
insecurity comment coming from and I
[TS]
00:58:53
◼
►
just I feel like like the inn at the
[TS]
00:58:55
◼
►
very least the internet is not helping
[TS]
00:58:57
◼
►
you through the internet is not helping
[TS]
00:58:59
◼
►
me feel less insecure and I'm not you
[TS]
00:59:03
◼
►
know insecurity that's not my bugbear
[TS]
00:59:05
◼
►
you know I'm a I'm a UH I was I'm
[TS]
00:59:10
◼
►
important to her
[TS]
00:59:12
◼
►
I meant to be here for your legacy
[TS]
00:59:16
◼
►
I'm a legacy my dad was important
[TS]
00:59:18
◼
►
totally important he was very important
[TS]
00:59:20
◼
►
man i'm here to fulfill his dreams he
[TS]
00:59:24
◼
►
let me know that multiple times when I
[TS]
00:59:26
◼
►
was a kid has as the years went by how
[TS]
00:59:29
◼
►
disappointed he realizes that wasn't
[TS]
00:59:30
◼
►
working out like a while you know I mean
[TS]
00:59:33
◼
►
see and that's that that's number five
[TS]
00:59:34
◼
►
on my list be a u.s. senator which is
[TS]
00:59:38
◼
►
you know i have not abandoned that idea
[TS]
00:59:40
◼
►
yeah being a u.s. senator is still it's
[TS]
00:59:43
◼
►
still very real to me
[TS]
00:59:44
◼
►
yeah but I mean there's so many parts of
[TS]
00:59:46
◼
►
all those things as big as the project
[TS]
00:59:48
◼
►
is or as small as the project is
[TS]
00:59:49
◼
►
promising as it is as overdue or you
[TS]
00:59:53
◼
►
know incomplete as it is there's still
[TS]
00:59:55
◼
►
some part of every one of those that can
[TS]
00:59:57
◼
►
feel like the beginning
[TS]
00:59:57
◼
►
feel like the beginning
[TS]
01:00:00
◼
►
handle that helps you grab that thing
[TS]
01:00:02
◼
►
you can feel just slightly out of reach
[TS]
01:00:04
◼
►
and the fact that it's just slightly out
[TS]
01:00:06
◼
►
of reach ends up being much more
[TS]
01:00:09
◼
►
damaging than the fact that it's
[TS]
01:00:11
◼
►
completely out of reach
[TS]
01:00:12
◼
►
we're completely out of reach you say
[TS]
01:00:13
◼
►
with black which i'm not going to do
[TS]
01:00:14
◼
►
that right
[TS]
01:00:15
◼
►
I'm not become a jockey I'm too tall to
[TS]
01:00:17
◼
►
be a jockey handle on that it can have
[TS]
01:00:19
◼
►
my pilot
[TS]
01:00:21
◼
►
yeah I won't fit in the plane yeah well
[TS]
01:00:24
◼
►
yeah but these things are your right
[TS]
01:00:26
◼
►
there is some of them seem tantalizingly
[TS]
01:00:28
◼
►
close but just far enough away i think
[TS]
01:00:34
◼
►
you gotta look at video games you're
[TS]
01:00:36
◼
►
saying that video games are going to be
[TS]
01:00:38
◼
►
but they are the there the talcum it's
[TS]
01:00:40
◼
►
not a panacea unless you end up writing
[TS]
01:00:42
◼
►
an iOS app called panacea but guide to
[TS]
01:00:44
◼
►
essential link in the robot you can go
[TS]
01:00:46
◼
►
look at 3i think you should download it
[TS]
01:00:48
◼
►
today and remove those off your page and
[TS]
01:00:51
◼
►
you know maybe yeah yeah I don't know
[TS]
01:00:53
◼
►
maybe because posted notes are helping
[TS]
01:00:54
◼
►
but you feel like it will be an
[TS]
01:00:55
◼
►
indictment if you took down the post it
[TS]
01:00:57
◼
►
well what am i getting up so this is the
[TS]
01:01:00
◼
►
so let me let me just the college thing
[TS]
01:01:02
◼
►
for instance i feel like i have gotten a
[TS]
01:01:06
◼
►
lot of satisfaction and never having
[TS]
01:01:07
◼
►
graduated from college I feel I feel
[TS]
01:01:10
◼
►
that there are lots and lots of cocktail
[TS]
01:01:13
◼
►
parties where everyone is comparing
[TS]
01:01:15
◼
►
their smart college that they that they
[TS]
01:01:17
◼
►
graduated from and then it comes to me
[TS]
01:01:19
◼
►
and i get i am the only one that the
[TS]
01:01:22
◼
►
only one in the room that hasn't
[TS]
01:01:23
◼
►
graduated from college and that that is
[TS]
01:01:24
◼
►
a that's a little reverse snobbery a
[TS]
01:01:26
◼
►
little point of pride but do I want to
[TS]
01:01:30
◼
►
go to my grave not having graduated from
[TS]
01:01:32
◼
►
college or do I want to graduate from
[TS]
01:01:34
◼
►
college just to just so that my father
[TS]
01:01:37
◼
►
and my uncle and his uncle before him
[TS]
01:01:39
◼
►
can all rest in their graves and say you
[TS]
01:01:46
◼
►
know like it's the it is anymore
[TS]
01:01:49
◼
►
the middle class it's it's it's some
[TS]
01:01:53
◼
►
kind of like lay that you get when you
[TS]
01:01:56
◼
►
get off the airplane in Honolulu of the
[TS]
01:01:58
◼
►
middle and substantial Hawaii right and
[TS]
01:02:02
◼
►
you just should have it writer you
[TS]
01:02:04
◼
►
should and especially having done all
[TS]
01:02:06
◼
►
the work that people ask questions you
[TS]
01:02:08
◼
►
know they're so like move
[TS]
01:02:09
◼
►
wonder why it's getting kind of odd he
[TS]
01:02:11
◼
►
seems like he should be one of us
[TS]
01:02:13
◼
►
yeah and so if i am going to do it if if
[TS]
01:02:17
◼
►
if I'm not gonna take that post-it note
[TS]
01:02:19
◼
►
down if I intend to do it then why not
[TS]
01:02:24
◼
►
like why would I would I let another 10
[TS]
01:02:26
◼
►
years go by
[TS]
01:02:28
◼
►
that's a question I can't answer that's
[TS]
01:02:30
◼
►
a question I can't even answer somebody
[TS]
01:02:33
◼
►
asked me the other day how do you
[TS]
01:02:34
◼
►
picture the narrative in your mind
[TS]
01:02:39
◼
►
they were saying the days that the ideas
[TS]
01:02:42
◼
►
that they have they see go by like a
[TS]
01:02:44
◼
►
ticker-tape like us like a scroll on on
[TS]
01:02:49
◼
►
CNN that the the thoughts
[TS]
01:02:52
◼
►
yeah they're thought timeline and I said
[TS]
01:02:55
◼
►
I see like my oh my aware mind as a kind
[TS]
01:03:02
◼
►
of foggy more and there are phases
[TS]
01:03:08
◼
►
coming out of the fog and some of them
[TS]
01:03:11
◼
►
are very close
[TS]
01:03:14
◼
►
the fog is extremely thick some of those
[TS]
01:03:16
◼
►
faces are close enough that I can
[TS]
01:03:17
◼
►
discern their features and they are
[TS]
01:03:19
◼
►
speaking the loudest and then their
[TS]
01:03:21
◼
►
faces that are a little further away and
[TS]
01:03:23
◼
►
they're less distinct and I can hear
[TS]
01:03:25
◼
►
their voices to and then there are
[TS]
01:03:27
◼
►
phases that are then i can just make out
[TS]
01:03:29
◼
►
sort of the basics of their features and
[TS]
01:03:32
◼
►
then their faces that are just an
[TS]
01:03:33
◼
►
outline just a shadow and then in the
[TS]
01:03:35
◼
►
distance voices I can hear where I can't
[TS]
01:03:38
◼
►
see the faces but I can still hear you
[TS]
01:03:41
◼
►
know their voices are still audible and
[TS]
01:03:43
◼
►
though and the faces that approximate
[TS]
01:03:45
◼
►
keep changing like the ones that are
[TS]
01:03:48
◼
►
closest to me then back away into the
[TS]
01:03:49
◼
►
fog and other ones come step forward and
[TS]
01:03:53
◼
►
it is a disc sort of like whack-a-mole
[TS]
01:03:56
◼
►
on a foggy more of different
[TS]
01:04:02
◼
►
different people saying different things
[TS]
01:04:04
◼
►
and what will ever like and I think one
[TS]
01:04:12
◼
►
of those voices is one of those people
[TS]
01:04:15
◼
►
just lives in the more and every once in
[TS]
01:04:18
◼
►
awhile walk forward and goes college and
[TS]
01:04:23
◼
►
then steps back and turned his face away
[TS]
01:04:24
◼
►
you can't see who it was
[TS]
01:04:26
◼
►
yeah he might have other jobs you might
[TS]
01:04:27
◼
►
walk forward every once in awhile and
[TS]
01:04:29
◼
►
say marriage retirement think he might
[TS]
01:04:33
◼
►
he might have like seven things he says
[TS]
01:04:35
◼
►
but he's like how am I ever gonna quiet
[TS]
01:04:38
◼
►
that guy
[TS]
01:04:39
◼
►
yeah hand him a diploma he's well he's
[TS]
01:04:42
◼
►
Welsh will step forward one day college
[TS]
01:04:44
◼
►
and I go here and implemented but it's
[TS]
01:04:47
◼
►
like oh shit
[TS]
01:04:49
◼
►
thank you
[TS]
01:04:54
◼
►
that's good
[TS]