Roderick on the Line

Ep. 106: "Nürburgring Confirmation"


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00:00:18   [Music]

00:00:23   hello hey John I Merlin how are you

00:00:28   oh it's very early yeah it's good though

00:00:33   yeah yeah it's good to go early how you

00:00:36   move the earlier moving

00:00:39   I've got a personal time change yeah i'm

00:00:41   moving earlier I am I'm trending earlier

00:00:44   food i think that early is morally

00:00:48   better

00:00:49   who it's been that's what people have

00:00:51   been telling me my whole life people who

00:00:53   get up early are morally superior people

00:00:55   that sleep late i resisted it because

00:00:59   we're not a pearly have to defend

00:01:00   ourselves

00:01:01   that's right that's right they're

00:01:03   writing their writing our biographies

00:01:05   and were sleeping and then when you wake

00:01:07   up they hide them under the pillow

00:01:09   no I go yeah look who's up lazybones

00:01:11   it's typical of the earlies just cutting

00:01:13   they do the earlies do a lot the earlies

00:01:16   are running the world because the

00:01:19   chances lots of things that I think

00:01:20   earlies tend to do that ladies wouldn't

00:01:22   do or we doing a different annoying way

00:01:24   like an early baby stuff like they move

00:01:26   things around the house

00:01:28   mhm right have you ever noticed this you

00:01:30   might you might notice a lot of what

00:01:31   earlies get away with with their

00:01:33   particular personality type is by virtue

00:01:35   of the fact that they're up literally

00:01:36   three hours earlier

00:01:37   that's right there sometimes up so much

00:01:38   earlier that it's like they're living in

00:01:40   a different universe parallel universe

00:01:42   who I you back in the old days when I

00:01:45   would stay up routinely all night and I

00:01:49   would be I never had a walk of shame

00:01:52   exactly because I'm too full of pride

00:01:54   but you know I would walk down the walk

00:01:58   down the boulevard in the morning it

00:02:00   wearing last night's clothes and I'd see

00:02:05   all the earlies like pooling

00:02:07   congregating in their little early

00:02:10   classes power walking

00:02:12   oh they're walking so strong and fast

00:02:15   and I would see like oh you look like

00:02:19   different people you have different

00:02:21   physiognomies yeah no I think I i well I

00:02:27   don't know that word very well but I

00:02:29   think you might be right now my question

00:02:31   for you is

00:02:32   in order to be getting up even a little

00:02:34   earlier and I guess I I'm this money i

00:02:37   partly because I mainly this time I

00:02:39   spent in person with you is when you're

00:02:41   on tour so your whole life kinda has to

00:02:43   be later but it seems like in the past

00:02:45   you've naturally you wouldn't naturally

00:02:48   wake up before like 11 in the past

00:02:51   no but not by preference or by nature

00:02:55   what I wake up before I'm not shaming

00:02:57   you know knowing that and the thing is i

00:02:59   spent my whole life trying to reconcile

00:03:03   that with Oh with the world with a world

00:03:06   that feels like eleven o'clock is pretty

00:03:10   much like too late to get anything done

00:03:13   like if you if you get up by 11 you're

00:03:16   not out of the house by 12 at which

00:03:18   point the stores are already starting to

00:03:20   close

00:03:20   you know those those stores there was

00:03:23   this is Madrid from the stores that are

00:03:25   open from seven to noon and then just

00:03:29   like oh well if you needed sewing

00:03:30   supplies the sewing store closes in his

00:03:34   notions is not a night owl operation

00:03:37   yeah it's like what you expect expect to

00:03:39   stay open till five and that's the

00:03:41   that's the crazy part about being an

00:03:44   eleven o'clock wake up person is just

00:03:47   that that so many places close at five

00:03:49   and and that just seems crazy to me why

00:03:53   every place isn't open till eight right

00:03:56   yeah and what kind of place opens at

00:03:59   eight in the morning like who is doing

00:04:01   anything at eight besides dragging their

00:04:03   sorry ass somewhere i was in probably

00:04:05   middle late twenties before this all

00:04:07   really clicked

00:04:08   I mean it was after i had a job and not

00:04:10   had a regular job and been freelancing

00:04:12   and sleeping general III m2 11 most days

00:04:15   but it ain't finally really did click

00:04:17   something that should be so obvious

00:04:18   which is the world runs 925 because the

00:04:22   world runs 925 that's exactly absolutely

00:04:25   you just said a mouthful sir and so

00:04:27   you're able to do things but i mean it's

00:04:29   it's so it's so bitter that you would

00:04:31   have to go and be somewhere during the

00:04:33   working hours and then right at the time

00:04:34   you get out and you know that for these

00:04:36   kids today they don't they don't know

00:04:38   from ours but it used to be you couldn't

00:04:40   buy stuff on Christmas and used abused

00:04:42   time was it doesn't count

00:04:44   on can count on ATM being there I mean

00:04:47   those there's a lot more stuff where you

00:04:49   really had to plan and think ahead

00:04:51   like for example i just noticed

00:04:52   yesterday our local post office which

00:04:56   really is like something from East

00:04:58   Germany and in the mid-seventies they

00:05:00   are they reached the I understandably I

00:05:02   think they're cutting hours so they're

00:05:04   going to start closing it 5pm instead of

00:05:06   6pm but think about the impact that has

00:05:08   on people who actually need to do

00:05:09   anything with that place while you but

00:05:11   absolutely and this is the whole premise

00:05:13   behind daylight savings time which is

00:05:16   which is a crazy solution to a simple

00:05:18   problem you know daylight savings time I

00:05:21   guess I guess what they think we're

00:05:22   still getting up to plow or something

00:05:25   but I mean here's here's a here's a clue

00:05:28   just have the stores open later keep the

00:05:31   time the same just move the opening

00:05:34   hours and the closing hours of the shops

00:05:37   that's what strange and I've said this

00:05:39   to you have a half a dozen times but

00:05:40   that's one thing that's so starkly

00:05:41   different from what I was living in

00:05:43   florida is is I remember even being in

00:05:45   college

00:05:46   mid to late eighties ah gas stations

00:05:48   open all night it was you know is more

00:05:51   more you're seeing stuff it will still

00:05:52   wasn't the point when like I don't think

00:05:54   we had super walmarts then but you know

00:05:57   as recently as maybe what like five or

00:05:59   eight years ago going to Florida either

00:06:02   super walmart is open all night long and

00:06:04   that's in it really serves an ironic sad

00:06:07   purpose which is all the people who work

00:06:09   in this crazy jobs it's crazy hours they

00:06:12   go and they go in there wheeling there

00:06:14   with three kids at two in the morning

00:06:15   cuz that's when they can go get

00:06:16   groceries announcing the first time I

00:06:19   ever saw super walmart i was so

00:06:21   flabbergasted

00:06:22   it was in florida and it was one of

00:06:25   those super walmarts what would seem

00:06:29   like it was a

00:06:32   like to get there you have to cross a 11

00:06:35   lane Boulevard and then go down into a

00:06:38   storm dick your journey is not over yet

00:06:41   traveling down into a storm ditch that

00:06:44   was again like four lanes wide and then

00:06:46   up the other side and then across a long

00:06:48   misty parking lot like arc light lit

00:06:53   parking lot and it was the first time

00:06:56   I'd ever been to Florida and I was hyper

00:06:59   vigilant for alligators

00:07:02   oh so I'm like trying to get across this

00:07:06   Boulevard and through this storm

00:07:08   condition over and threw them at the

00:07:11   merc woodforest and everywhere I'm you

00:07:15   know every step I take

00:07:17   I'm thinking and I'm going to fully

00:07:19   grown adult like I don't the thing is I

00:07:20   don't know anything about alligators you

00:07:23   know you don't have to be scared of that

00:07:25   sort

00:07:25   I know enough that alligators are making

00:07:27   outrage on and straight line

00:07:29   mmm i didn't know that I knew enough of

00:07:31   I knew enough about alligators but I

00:07:33   didn't know how to say i didn't know how

00:07:35   to spot an alligator on the land or in a

00:07:38   in a pond and you know good in Alaska I

00:07:41   know how to not get eaten by various

00:07:44   things but it in Florida where I'd never

00:07:48   been the prospect of like I you know I

00:07:52   presumed that you didn't just put a bell

00:07:54   on your backpack and that would scare

00:07:55   the alligators away like it does the

00:07:58   bears an alligator belt an alligator

00:08:02   belt you didn't like you didn't walk

00:08:03   walk along up in the middle of the night

00:08:06   everybody that would draw attention to

00:08:07   me

00:08:08   well yeah right i mean in Alaska walk

00:08:10   along in the middle of the night through

00:08:11   the forest and you say everyone's want

00:08:12   to say hello bear

00:08:13   oh they're all bear and the bears here

00:08:18   you and they proved they prefer not to

00:08:20   have an encounter with you but I was not

00:08:22   about to start saying oh alligator was

00:08:25   just to be clear this is early in your

00:08:27   first visit to florida so this has gotta

00:08:30   be an overwhelming experience experience

00:08:31   for you is just it's like I'm I'm 12

00:08:34   hours in country and the it's you know

00:08:38   it's really it's my first trip to

00:08:39   Vietnam you know that the air is heavy

00:08:43   it's hot and there's this that the

00:08:47   concierge at the hotel says all you want

00:08:49   to go over the super walmart open 24

00:08:51   hours and you know and I see it in the

00:08:55   distance glowing it's like the it's like

00:08:57   the bridge that they blow up every night

00:08:58   and then rebuild and yeah but alligators

00:09:03   foremost in my mind I do not want to

00:09:07   walk along and step on an alligator

00:09:09   I do not want to do not want an

00:09:11   alligator surprise me from behind the

00:09:13   garbage can and so so whatever I think

00:09:17   of walmart even now I think alligators

00:09:19   on that way with new orleans in nutrias

00:09:22   have you ever seen a real live nutrient

00:09:25   be honest with you I only ever needed to

00:09:28   see one nutrient in my entire life and

00:09:31   equity right into alligator country it

00:09:33   was because my friend joking about say

00:09:35   oh you know these things they raised him

00:09:36   to make a beaver coat and then the

00:09:39   beaver coat fake beaver coat market

00:09:40   dropped out i guess in the late twenties

00:09:42   and they apparently however me like a

00:09:44   thousand two thousand even 10,000 let

00:09:46   him go and now they breed prodigiously

00:09:48   and they're they're like the face of

00:09:51   Satan their horrifying creatures they're

00:09:53   like oh they're rats but they're the

00:09:54   size of beavers the rap beavers with

00:09:57   with big yellow teeth and they make it

00:09:59   sound like this like they're like I

00:10:07   don't like the Korean water ghosts of

00:10:09   Louisiana this episode of rock on the

00:10:12   line is sponsored by our very good

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00:11:34   the line we could not do it without them

00:11:36   I I'm anything is I'm not gonna front

00:11:39   here John I mean is we could have a

00:11:41   conversation about walmart has done to

00:11:42   America but the first time I walked into

00:11:44   a Super Walmart I thought it was like

00:11:46   Valhalla i thought was the most amazing

00:11:47   thing I've ever seen in my life because

00:11:49   at the time we had my girlfriend and I

00:11:52   were driving and I think we're moving

00:11:54   one of us one place to another and we

00:11:57   need a tarp to cover up like a u-haul

00:12:00   trailer in the back at our colon as they

00:12:02   say in in in in Florida and we put in

00:12:06   there and I think we ended up buyin

00:12:08   tires and frozen peas

00:12:10   I mean it was I've never seen a walmart

00:12:12   that had food in it to produce a frozen

00:12:14   peas that sorry I'm over here in the

00:12:17   otherwise you can hear me a prison peas

00:12:20   but now but I mean I just remember I

00:12:22   think memory serves

00:12:25   we ended up spending baloch an hour and

00:12:26   a half maybe two hours in there because

00:12:28   it was like oh my god they have

00:12:30   literally everything in it's all like a

00:12:31   dollar twenty yeah so I mean I don't

00:12:35   know it's I I had a right captain I want

00:12:37   to make this about the economics of

00:12:39   politics but i have to say it was a

00:12:41   really illuminating experience for me to

00:12:43   go back to Florida and mid-2002 my mom

00:12:47   was recovering from surgery and I had

00:12:49   spent like 10 days or something like

00:12:51   that when you went back to florida to do

00:12:55   make a White Castle fly about industry

00:12:57   cop

00:12:59   what that mean we go down to the Lord is

00:13:06   that is it but I surfers on and on and

00:13:09   no but I did see the crepe and that's

00:13:14   alla o my soul yeah I tell you though I

00:13:18   think there was something about it that

00:13:19   was it was weirdly illuminating to this

00:13:21   flaming liberal there was there was my

00:13:24   at the time still still living

00:13:25   grandmother who was very old and ill and

00:13:28   had you know Alzheimer's in my mom he's

00:13:30   got some kind of movement stuff and I'm

00:13:33   just here to tell you man you pull into

00:13:34   the walmart you got your little tag

00:13:36   everybody's gonna hang tag now you know

00:13:37   we should talk about that at some point

00:13:38   everybody's gotta tell you it's

00:13:40   interesting

00:13:40   everybody's gotta cut somebody a a

00:13:42   handicapped parking spot exactly just

00:13:44   they just give that to you in florida

00:13:46   and then if you don't want you give it

00:13:47   back but anyway you pull right up next

00:13:49   to the door you can you get to rascal

00:13:51   scooters and you can drive rascal

00:13:53   scooters like retail Rascals we've got a

00:13:55   battle gets on them so i actually I

00:13:57   wasn't super into grandma driving her

00:13:59   asking but she did pretty she was really

00:14:01   into it but we had we had this little

00:14:03   like a sad their sets wagon train of me

00:14:06   with a giant s cart and then my mom my

00:14:07   grandma we went around but it was it was

00:14:10   the thing is in san francisco you've

00:14:12   been to our safeway you park if you can

00:14:14   find a space you park on the roof of our

00:14:16   safeway you get the elevator which i'm

00:14:18   pretty sure pretty positive was probably

00:14:20   not working when you were here it was

00:14:21   enough just stop working while you're in

00:14:23   it you gotta get cards downstairs or get

00:14:27   cards upstairs and then go into the and

00:14:30   it's it's amazing though when you're

00:14:32   we've lived in even a pseudo urban area

00:14:34   like like where you live where I live

00:14:36   like it is so strange to pull into a

00:14:39   walmart that has literally hundreds i

00:14:42   don't think they've ever filled that

00:14:43   parking lot except maybe like Christmas

00:14:45   Eve writes the hugest parking lot you've

00:14:47   got the the worst space at a Walmart is

00:14:49   like the best space in our mall and then

00:14:52   you get two Rascals your driveway and

00:14:54   like a hundred twenty dollars later like

00:14:56   you fill the truck its I all I'm saying

00:14:58   is and you can do it two in the morning

00:14:59   and at times when you're like dealing

00:15:01   with things like moves or like

00:15:03   transitions you just find yourself going

00:15:04   to walmart three times today it

00:15:06   completely blew me away and I don't

00:15:08   think it's a great thing but it was

00:15:09   really illuminating to me as somebody

00:15:10   who likes to look down his nose

00:15:12   isn't talking about all the people who

00:15:13   are ruining America with all their

00:15:14   retail because that was all that was

00:15:16   there when I funny funny thing is i have

00:15:19   some coffee when I when I left for

00:15:20   college in 1986 we gone to walmart to

00:15:24   buy all the pots and pans kind of stuff

00:15:25   and at that point there were still strip

00:15:27   malls everywhere retail stores you had

00:15:30   so many drug stores so many grocery

00:15:31   stores but it's it's I don't want to

00:15:34   make this to idiocracy but really was

00:15:36   kind of like this 8th block area where

00:15:38   there used to be all these different

00:15:39   stores now this one like ridiculously

00:15:41   large building with ample parking

00:15:43   the ultra store how do you get those

00:15:45   what you know you can't build those in

00:15:46   the city limits here now we don't have

00:15:47   them here either in Seattle because yeah

00:15:51   right

00:15:51   the anti basically because because maybe

00:15:55   because of Meg Ryan's character in

00:15:57   you've got mail

00:15:59   we are prohibited from building super

00:16:01   stores in the city but you know a when

00:16:04   we first started doing this podcast you

00:16:06   sent me a giant long upright blue

00:16:11   hyperlink cable of that's a it's a that

00:16:17   was going to such a hyperlink cable it's

00:16:18   a hyper hyper link cable or whatever it

00:16:20   is it's a you know like a like a direct

00:16:22   direct in cable for the internets who

00:16:26   because the first I think the first four

00:16:28   letters help johns talking about an

00:16:29   ethernet cable ethernet cable the first

00:16:32   the first time we tried to do the this

00:16:35   television program i was doing it on the

00:16:40   line to the cap was doing to you on the

00:16:44   the Wi-Fi and you were like doesn't

00:16:47   sound good

00:16:47   I'm gonna send you something and then

00:16:48   this blue cable showed up within hours

00:16:51   and we never look back because of

00:16:52   because of amazon anyway so for a long

00:16:56   time I was doing the like housekeeping

00:17:00   of a bit a bit end of the show I would

00:17:04   unplug the cable that runs down the

00:17:07   stairs to the router if memory serves

00:17:09   the full part of the fun of this was

00:17:11   your internet connection was downstairs

00:17:13   that you're recording upstairs record

00:17:15   upstairs in the interconnect gonna get a

00:17:16   hurt foot a 100-foot Ethan 100 foot

00:17:19   ethernet cable because it internet

00:17:20   connection is down the stairs across the

00:17:22   hall and in the in the other wing

00:17:24   and so for a long time i would get done

00:17:27   with the program and i would go down i

00:17:29   would on unhook the hundred foot

00:17:31   ethernet cable i would plug the Wi-Fi

00:17:33   router back in i would coil up the

00:17:36   ethernet cable all the way up the stairs

00:17:38   and you know and put it behind the

00:17:41   computer well over time I just got used

00:17:44   to the blue cable running through the

00:17:46   house and everybody kind of got used to

00:17:48   it and so the blue cable just ended up

00:17:52   not getting coiled up the blue cable

00:17:54   just runs through the house but the blue

00:17:59   cable has to go through one two three

00:18:02   doorways and across it it goes right

00:18:07   across a pretty highly sounds like a

00:18:08   health class video John that sounds like

00:18:10   a terrible tripping hazard

00:18:12   well what's happened is that doors have

00:18:14   gotten shut on the long blue cable many

00:18:18   many times and now the longer cable it

00:18:22   looks like it has been like chewed upon

00:18:25   by a nutria it it is completely mangled

00:18:31   and if it if any real electricity were

00:18:34   running through it would be a hazard as

00:18:37   it stands it's just like a it's it looks

00:18:39   like it's just dropping internet bites

00:18:41   because it's just dropping bites right

00:18:43   there look and I'm sure the NSA comes in

00:18:46   and sweeps up all the internet that

00:18:47   spills out of it and and goes and and

00:18:50   catalogs it as they're doing to me all

00:18:53   the time but I realized as I was looking

00:18:56   at it today

00:18:57   oh right this thing now is is is fast

00:19:04   approaching uselessness and I went on

00:19:08   amazon to get a new one and in the

00:19:11   course of beam on amazon even for five

00:19:13   minutes I filled up a shopping cart with

00:19:16   seven hundred dollars with stuff

00:19:18   Wow and I was like well I can't spend

00:19:20   seven hundred dollars on all this stuff

00:19:21   so I didn't buy any of it and the blue

00:19:24   cable is still in the shopping bag

00:19:27   and now i feel like this blue cable

00:19:29   belongs in a museum

00:19:32   you should sell it blew on it belongs in

00:19:34   the Roderick on making the merch hits

00:19:35   the merch table and so so I can't part

00:19:39   with it because now it has value every

00:19:41   time the door is closed on it

00:19:43   mm it's you know every single Roderick

00:19:45   on the line has gone through this cable

00:19:46   at least half of it and so what is ok

00:19:50   yeah that's what I'm supposed to do i'm

00:19:52   gonna go burned in the yard so yeah now

00:19:56   i'm now I have this i have this kind of

00:19:57   busted ass cable and I don't know if you

00:20:00   can even find Wonder walmart i need to

00:20:02   just I just need to go to you know what

00:20:04   I need you know what Amazon needs to do

00:20:05   they need to start opening stores you

00:20:08   mean so you're saying that one of I

00:20:10   guess you'd call it out be retail but a

00:20:12   store

00:20:12   yeah like us retail store a retail store

00:20:14   so be like an online store but in a

00:20:18   building like in a big building with a

00:20:21   parking lot and people would come jump i

00:20:23   think i'm following you

00:20:24   you're saying instead of buying it

00:20:26   online and having it delivered they

00:20:27   would go there they would park they go

00:20:28   inside and they give something like

00:20:30   money to take something in their hands

00:20:32   and they are out of it with her seat but

00:20:34   Gordon you can use bitcoin bitcoin ok

00:20:36   alright the idea that the thing about it

00:20:39   think about it is that I when I meant

00:20:45   when i'm on the internet you might have

00:20:47   noticed this but this is the this is the

00:20:48   reason that dictionaries this is the

00:20:51   reason i've started buying dictionaries

00:20:53   in addition to the dictionaries i

00:20:55   already own which are several I started

00:21:00   getting other dictionaries because I

00:21:02   realized the main flaw of online

00:21:05   dictionaries is that they're so they're

00:21:09   so concerned with profiting from the

00:21:12   idea of a dictionary by throwing

00:21:14   advertisements up all around the world

00:21:17   you're trying to look up that they have

00:21:19   they have misjudged what the best thing

00:21:22   about a dictionary is which is that you

00:21:24   go to the dictionary to look up the word

00:21:27   gin

00:21:28   let's say or just you know like let's

00:21:31   say you go look at a vision which is a

00:21:34   kind of detainee what's this

00:21:36   the genie and then you're there and you

00:21:40   say oh interesting decision right and

00:21:43   then you go oh

00:21:45   djibouti or whatever like you see the

00:21:47   next DJ word and you say oh that's

00:21:52   interesting and then pretty soon you're

00:21:53   reading the dictionary and I defy anyone

00:21:55   to tell me a dictionary story that

00:21:57   doesn't start and end with some amazing

00:22:00   discovery they made up by this or

00:22:04   accidental proximity dictionary findings

00:22:09   and new dictionaries which are you know

00:22:14   on the internet you can look up any word

00:22:16   in any time but there is no there's no

00:22:18   lucky fun to them and it's the same it's

00:22:22   the same I mean wikipedia has the

00:22:24   hyperlink which is very much like we

00:22:26   used to do with encyclopedias where you

00:22:28   would know related articles or in line

00:22:31   length and you're justyou're then pretty

00:22:33   soon you're reading an encyclopedia and

00:22:35   I mean I think that I think that the

00:22:36   time i spent reading the Encyclopedia as

00:22:38   a child

00:22:39   absolutely trumped every school I ever

00:22:42   heard that's where three academic years

00:22:44   for me like three good academic years

00:22:46   that's worth like 4th to 6th grade

00:22:48   absolutely absolutely i mean and those

00:22:50   are precisely the years from 4th to 6th

00:22:53   grade point third to sixth grade I

00:22:56   learned more out of the encyclopedias

00:22:57   then out at and completely unguided

00:23:00   unstructured learning but just like you

00:23:02   go to the Encyclopedia to look something

00:23:04   up and then you're just there for the

00:23:06   rest of the afternoon and so hyperlink

00:23:10   kind of allows for that although you

00:23:12   never really feel like you're getting

00:23:13   all the way into talk about the

00:23:15   hyperlink cabling protocol hyperlink

00:23:18   cabling protocol

00:23:19   okay now you're just funny you should

00:23:21   say that because HTTP ok ok i I uh I

00:23:26   would never have thought of that and

00:23:27   you're exactly right we just finally I

00:23:30   the Webster's I think or Miriam we were

00:23:33   the red dictionary everybody had to have

00:23:35   a point and we've got a fancier one but

00:23:37   i wanted the the dictionary that I had

00:23:39   when I was in Middle School yeah thought

00:23:41   you could hold it in one

00:23:43   and metrics and you know what we we have

00:23:45   I realized that it's important that we

00:23:47   do that really annoying thing that your

00:23:49   family always makes you do which is you

00:23:51   go look upward and my daughter's not

00:23:52   gonna miss so much of a reader that she

00:23:55   can like going to do that on around but

00:23:57   we do it together and circle the word

00:23:58   and that becomes a thing but you're

00:24:00   absolutely right you did on the internet

00:24:02   you don't get to you don't get the edge

00:24:03   booty

00:24:04   no you don't and and oftentimes the word

00:24:07   on either the words on either side of

00:24:08   the world you looked up are related to

00:24:11   the word you looked up who and so you're

00:24:13   you you're developing up all this word

00:24:16   context that is like crucial to

00:24:19   understanding language it's crucial to

00:24:21   understanding concepts but that he look

00:24:24   up a word and then you go what is this

00:24:26   this looks like the a very similar word

00:24:28   and you read about it you're like oh it

00:24:30   is a similar word and here's why

00:24:32   etc etc so I feel like I feel like the

00:24:39   the you know in a way the opposite is

00:24:41   true with online stores because when i

00:24:43   go to the guitar store I and i'm looking

00:24:48   for something or let's say I go to the

00:24:50   wall into the the giant brick-and-mortar

00:24:52   amazon store and im looking 4a a

00:24:55   hundred-foot hyperlink cable i go in

00:25:00   there it's a store full of things I'm

00:25:03   just lookin for the cable you know maybe

00:25:05   they get me with a point of purchase

00:25:07   Reese's Peanut Butter Cup for the most

00:25:10   part like I know that I know I'm going

00:25:12   into a store it's going to be full of

00:25:13   stuff I'm I'm just here to get the one

00:25:15   jobber right but when i go on Amazon

00:25:19   looking for a thing that's dangerous

00:25:23   country for me when I go on amazon.com

00:25:25   looking for a thing and their their

00:25:28   their genius about this like oh well you

00:25:30   know if you had if you had one more

00:25:33   thing you get free shipping details on

00:25:35   prime well this you don't do it enough

00:25:40   to make that pay for it

00:25:41   well that's the thing if i did it then I

00:25:43   would be like oh I've got amazon prime

00:25:45   this is why don't this is why we don't

00:25:46   have a car anymore because I realized

00:25:48   that if you buy a car you're gonna have

00:25:51   to find ways to use it and then you just

00:25:52   end up spending more money i was going

00:25:54   to not have a car and put it

00:25:55   into like some uber and muni passes and

00:25:57   stuff like that this is but don't you

00:25:59   think isn't that kind of the thing

00:26:00   absolutely as my dad said when I when I

00:26:02   took away his car and he was like I

00:26:04   needed to do stuff I here we go to

00:26:07   appointments and I was like what

00:26:09   appointments do you go to would name on

00:26:13   an appointment and he was like I gotta

00:26:15   go to the car repair it said and he's

00:26:23   dead serious he has to go to the car but

00:26:26   doesn't that also kind of a social thing

00:26:28   for him

00:26:29   well then I'm not saying you're robbing

00:26:32   him of his social intercourse but but

00:26:33   but hanging out and and and shoot the

00:26:35   shit with the car guy was the kind of

00:26:36   thing he did the car guy is the car guys

00:26:39   slowly swindled him out of thousands of

00:26:41   dollars as the guy was when the amount

00:26:44   of you know and i think this is like the

00:26:47   I've told you before right that he

00:26:50   decided that the goalie guy he would let

00:26:52   work on his airplane lived in hell

00:26:54   tourists California and he would

00:27:00   it's that you know you never get like a

00:27:01   like a drink in style decision the even

00:27:04   you would really pull back on after a

00:27:06   week or so what I didn't occur to me

00:27:08   that I would have to go to another state

00:27:10   to get this plane worked on

00:27:12   yeah like it's the type of thing where

00:27:13   you're you're let's say you're flying a

00:27:15   commercial airplane you sit down next to

00:27:17   a guy and the guy turns out to be an

00:27:19   airplane mechanic and you own an

00:27:20   airplane here like I'm gonna come see

00:27:21   you in Altos California but my dad in

00:27:26   one of his many many cross-country

00:27:27   flights you know what he used to do he

00:27:29   would fly along and he'd see a little

00:27:30   Airport did see little airstrip and he

00:27:32   would just put her down

00:27:34   he do that yeah just call ahead and say

00:27:37   can I get clearance know you don't call

00:27:39   ahead you just put her down

00:27:40   all I gotta do these little one

00:27:42   uncontrolled airports you just line up

00:27:45   and you unmaintained Road in an airport

00:27:47   really just a little bit of road and you

00:27:49   land your you're on the plane road

00:27:51   that's right you go there is a that you

00:27:53   turn the radio to up to you know what if

00:27:55   you plot your map to find the little

00:27:57   Airport it'll have a little channel 4

00:27:59   channel 19

00:28:00   yeah channel 19 right you go there and

00:28:03   you say hey you know attention

00:28:05   uncontrolled airspace i am this airplane

00:28:08   I'm come

00:28:08   going in I am 763 for mike alpha i am on

00:28:12   final approach you know and you look

00:28:15   around and if there's nobody in the air

00:28:17   and there's nobody on that airstrip you

00:28:19   just put it down as an American that's

00:28:21   American that is this god damn holy shit

00:28:23   that's cool

00:28:24   I thought you'd have a flight plan a big

00:28:25   bag and and if you didn't show up

00:28:27   somewhere by certain time you just watch

00:28:28   out of the air

00:28:29   no you the thing is the thing about

00:28:30   flight plan i was explaining this to

00:28:32   somebody the other day you can change

00:28:33   your flight plan over the radio

00:28:36   you can just find a topic sentence

00:28:38   that's good to know

00:28:39   use file a new flight plan who so we

00:28:42   would do this all the time and sometimes

00:28:44   one time when I was about 10 years old

00:28:46   we landed on him on an airstrip that had

00:28:49   been clearly like carved out of the

00:28:51   forest up in Yukon Territories he was on

00:28:55   the 11 i was in Alaska so but it was up

00:28:57   way north we landed on a little dirt

00:29:02   airstrip out in the middle of nowhere

00:29:04   dad was just like look at that somebody

00:29:06   carved an airstrip another forest and he

00:29:09   turns around and lines it up and puts it

00:29:11   down and we are where you know taxing

00:29:14   down this little dirt runway and a guy

00:29:16   comes out of the forest holding a

00:29:17   shotgun from the revenue and I was

00:29:23   thrilled I was hoping you know i was i

00:29:25   was expecting that to do what he always

00:29:26   did which is turn the engine off open

00:29:28   the door climb out who and I we were

00:29:30   going to meet this very interesting man

00:29:32   who was holding a gun standing at the

00:29:34   edge of the woods and dad did a thing he

00:29:37   hardly ever did which was he went Wow

00:29:39   look at the throttle forward and fun the

00:29:43   plane around here like Dukes of Hazzard

00:29:45   store like dirt flying kicking up sticks

00:29:49   bra and headed down the runway at a clip

00:29:54   and I was like wow what's going on

00:29:57   it was like he didn't say anything until

00:29:59   we were at 2,000 feet and was like nope

00:30:02   that's not restricted that man was

00:30:05   explaining to us non-verbally yeah but

00:30:07   that was because it was interested in

00:30:10   personal unwritten rules in aviation one

00:30:14   of them is if a guy is running onto the

00:30:15   field with a shotgun

00:30:17   oh he was called this could be this guy

00:30:19   just stepped out of the boot dark forest

00:30:22   yeah that's that's creepy yeah with a

00:30:24   gun was just you know I'm gonna gun like

00:30:26   cradle not pointed and just say that man

00:30:28   that is that is so freaking exciting

00:30:30   like I'm everyone a very first started

00:30:32   playing around college-age being old

00:30:34   enough to just drive around and go

00:30:35   places and go out let's drive to this

00:30:37   place we don't even know about that was

00:30:39   exciting but i can't imagine doing that

00:30:40   a plane

00:30:41   I mean that must be so exciting just go

00:30:42   oh there's an area where we could put

00:30:44   the plane let's go there

00:30:45   yeah well I'm and in Alaska of course

00:30:47   dad put put slightly bigger tires on the

00:30:51   planet he landed on the side of the

00:30:52   river you know they were those guys are

00:30:55   therapy if there's a stretch of mud like

00:30:58   riverbank that seemed solid i'll just

00:30:59   put the plane right down and dad would

00:31:01   do it to just put them just put it right

00:31:03   down if putting it down isn't the

00:31:07   challenge the challenge of course is

00:31:09   getting it back up off the riverbank

00:31:11   sure I'm sorry

00:31:13   so you gotta you gotta have a good

00:31:15   because gravity right because gravity

00:31:17   and because a lot of things in but he

00:31:19   would do so you would put himself down

00:31:20   on these trips and he was flying along

00:31:22   in that corner of Northern California

00:31:26   and Southern southeastern Oregon and

00:31:29   Nevada that corner that's just like what

00:31:33   how is this even I mean that it should

00:31:36   much more properly just be an unbored on

00:31:39   governed area because there's nothing

00:31:41   there

00:31:42   why would why would you even pay a

00:31:43   surveyor could be like taking a holiday

00:31:45   or something yeah absolutely you could

00:31:47   you could you could you could put a new

00:31:49   state in there and can call it

00:31:53   winnemucca and no one would know one

00:31:56   would know or care

00:31:57   Prison Prison tension but so he landed

00:32:01   on this airstrip at some point just like

00:32:04   a look at that there's an airport morale

00:32:06   and taxied up to a hanger and I've been

00:32:10   with him it wasn't there the first time

00:32:11   you want to outsource but I've been with

00:32:13   them many many times when he's done this

00:32:15   and what happens is airport looks

00:32:17   abandoned your you're taxing down the

00:32:20   runway you're you know you kind of pull

00:32:21   off to the side you're just puttering

00:32:23   along there are a couple of old war two

00:32:26   era

00:32:27   hangers Quonset huts all look completely

00:32:31   abandoned you just pop up at Rincon

00:32:34   opener and as you're here slowly driving

00:32:38   by these little these little abandoned

00:32:40   structures and then invariably a door

00:32:43   bangs open in a building made out of

00:32:46   corrugated metal and I'm old man comes

00:32:50   out like things here and you're wearing

00:32:51   a cap he comes out sometimes he's

00:32:53   literally wearing overalls he comes out

00:32:56   he's wiping his sweaty hands on a rag

00:32:59   and dad goes hey points the plane at the

00:33:03   guy and you know cuts the cuts the motor

00:33:07   and we wheel over and the guy comes over

00:33:09   and he is absolutely invariably one of

00:33:14   the most laconic men you'll ever meet

00:33:17   dad gets out hey how's it going guys

00:33:19   pair up and that's it you know and then

00:33:23   dad's holding up both ends of the

00:33:25   conversation and everyone smile goes

00:33:27   morrow your mirror and it turns out dad

00:33:31   fought in world war two and this guy

00:33:32   fought in world war two and you go you

00:33:36   go try to find an encyclopedia and

00:33:39   there's a you know there's also it's

00:33:40   there was always it always turned out

00:33:43   that dad was an officer in the war that

00:33:45   was an officer in the Navy and this guy

00:33:46   was a was a petty officer in the Navy so

00:33:50   there develops right away some ancient

00:33:53   officer enlisted man dynamic between

00:33:56   them that only they understand only they

00:34:00   are comfortable with and then I you know

00:34:03   so then I'm walking around some

00:34:05   sun-blasted airstrip kicking rocks while

00:34:10   dad at this guy go into a hangar and sit

00:34:13   and talk about god only knows what dad

00:34:15   buys a baseball hat from him that says

00:34:17   I'll taurus chevron you know in the

00:34:23   heart of Kristin yeah have gas and pet

00:34:25   store gas and feed and then we get back

00:34:30   on the plane will fly away well anyway

00:34:31   one of these times he meets this guy who

00:34:33   he decides his mechanic this is the only

00:34:36   guy that he's gonna let work on this

00:34:37   plan and he lives in alaska which is

00:34:40   you know which requires that once a year

00:34:42   he go on a four-day walkabout each

00:34:48   direction in his airplane me and uh and

00:34:54   i have ended up spending more time in

00:34:56   all tourists so he really did he went

00:35:00   through with it

00:35:01   oh he was a word for you based on this

00:35:03   one like random chance thing now you

00:35:05   want done for 15 years

00:35:07   don't be like don't be like driving

00:35:08   somewhere in stopping at a Stuckey's and

00:35:10   deciding that was going to be your

00:35:11   physician or something that's just

00:35:13   strange

00:35:13   yeah it'sit's but it's absolutely

00:35:15   bizarre and you know and I'll Taurus is

00:35:17   like a is one of those Old West towns

00:35:19   that at least the last time i was there

00:35:23   still no one had discovered and turned

00:35:25   into a miking mountain biking town it

00:35:28   was still it was still just like I mean

00:35:33   the type of place that you pay for your

00:35:35   shot with a silver dollar and the only

00:35:39   people and there are still like they're

00:35:41   still there are still problems between

00:35:43   the ranchers and the and whatever the

00:35:46   other demographic is the musical waiting

00:35:48   to happen the ranchers and the meth

00:35:50   dealers are like trying to decide who

00:35:53   owns the dairy ranchers and the meth

00:35:54   dealer should be friends up

00:35:57   yeah so uh I'd say that's incredible

00:36:01   ended but before your dad has a real

00:36:02   sense of loyalty huh

00:36:04   he was a very loyal guy he was loyal to

00:36:07   loyal you know and i think part of it

00:36:09   was a like like his car mechanic this

00:36:14   was a world that he didn't understand he

00:36:17   did not know how to fix his own airplane

00:36:20   engine and he didn't know how to fix his

00:36:22   own car and so those things became

00:36:25   magical realms and he figured out that

00:36:30   he didn't need to know how to fix those

00:36:32   things he just needed to find one guy

00:36:34   that he trusted and then once he decided

00:36:38   that he trusted the guy even if even if

00:36:41   all empirical evidence indicated that

00:36:43   this guy was not trustworthy and that he

00:36:45   was ripping them off and that he was a

00:36:46   jerk and a bastard

00:36:48   my dad would privilege their their

00:36:51   friendship from that point on over

00:36:54   you know over the fact i mean his last

00:36:56   car mechanic was building him four

00:36:59   hundred dollars a month for work he was

00:37:02   doing on an eight-hundred-dollar cause

00:37:04   the past three feet

00:37:05   yeah exactly was just like oh Dave I

00:37:07   think you need a new are you need a new

00:37:09   water filter that's like the car doesn't

00:37:15   have a water filter down that's I think

00:37:18   my family had a lot in common there I

00:37:20   there was always a go-to person

00:37:22   especially not think my grandfather who

00:37:24   was roughly a little younger

00:37:26   my grandfather was born and I think 1903

00:37:27   and you're sure was your dad

00:37:30   19-21 your granddad was a lot of well as

00:37:33   well as well as a kid but you know he

00:37:35   was very much of that like you know he

00:37:36   was a freemason was a Shriner and

00:37:39   everything was a secret deal like he

00:37:41   made it look like he would do these look

00:37:43   strange gestures sometimes to security

00:37:44   people I I'm sure we're into entirely

00:37:47   constructed to make me think that he was

00:37:48   part of a cabal didn't actually exist

00:37:49   like every time every time we drive

00:37:53   somewhere he do this little kind of like

00:37:55   this little like the stain thing with

00:37:57   his finger on his nose gotta rush toward

00:37:59   them like that's what we got in like an

00:38:02   idea what up but but now it's the same

00:38:05   way and I think every everybody my

00:38:06   family was like that where you like all

00:38:08   this is where we always get our tires

00:38:10   and eventually I was like mom like that

00:38:12   these tires are really expensive and it

00:38:15   takes them three or four days and they

00:38:17   don't answer the phone to get what we've

00:38:18   done to them for years

00:38:19   yeah isn't that is that a thing I think

00:38:21   that might be an old people think I

00:38:23   think basically will become a meeting i

00:38:25   think it's a thing and I think that I

00:38:27   think that you get to like we have now

00:38:28   in seattle here we have a an auto

00:38:32   mechanic I've talked to you about him

00:38:33   before he is he is from Palestine

00:38:39   graphics and he is an Arab but he's a

00:38:44   b-bad double question right and it gives

00:38:46   you some notes okay yeah and I think

00:38:49   maybe he's a messianic Christian and it

00:38:53   and he is a very nice guy he drives a

00:38:59   what is the car the dodge that rampage

00:39:06   what is the Dodge made a made the super

00:39:09   hot rod with the v10 motor it's a dodge

00:39:13   dakota pickup truck

00:39:14   it's a no it's it's a card about the

00:39:16   cobra verde or what is called the dodge

00:39:19   the dodge insanity car that it looks it

00:39:24   actually looks like a like a oh it's the

00:39:27   Viper it looks like a snake right the

00:39:30   Dodge Viper have you seen one of them

00:39:31   look it up it looks but it looks like

00:39:34   the head of a snake and I was I always

00:39:38   thought that it was just a just a clown

00:39:40   car like a joke car that that the hot

00:39:43   rod division 8.4 leaders yeah the hot

00:39:47   rods a hundred thousand dollars that

00:39:49   possible

00:39:50   the hot rod division of Dodge was given

00:39:53   free reign at some point by somebody by

00:39:55   Lee Iacocca to crap build like the

00:40:00   supercar and rather than build like an

00:40:04   attractive-looking a good handling

00:40:07   sports car they built that they took a

00:40:11   like a truck motor from a dump truck or

00:40:15   a or airplane motor and put it in the

00:40:18   front of a car that only an

00:40:21   eleven-year-old could have designed it's

00:40:24   got a real lady agra seafield you know

00:40:26   it's just like okay that is you can't be

00:40:29   serious right i mean that is a car that

00:40:32   that is a car that only an

00:40:35   eleven-year-old would buy or drives an

00:40:37   eight leader car

00:40:39   well so this is the thing so I always

00:40:40   thought these cars were were just jokes

00:40:43   it for somebody for whom a Corvette is

00:40:46   too subtle for somebody you know that

00:40:49   feels like a PT Cruiser is too is like

00:40:54   to add two to conservatives it's Harvard

00:40:58   Johnson's our version of a trap Street

00:41:00   it's like something you would put on the

00:41:02   menu to see some douchebag would buy it

00:41:03   right that's exactly right and they and

00:41:07   they sell them they sell them and and so

00:41:09   so I thought so I I just

00:41:12   I just assumed that it was it was the

00:41:15   hot rod PT Cruiser community that the

00:41:18   only type of people that would buy this

00:41:20   are people that have no eyes and yet the

00:41:25   other day i was looking up the fastest

00:41:28   laps around the Nurburgring for the

00:41:32   Nurburgring in bergen choices the I can

00:41:38   I don't know how to pronounce it but

00:41:39   it's a the Nurburgring gangin bergen

00:41:42   gurbin King ring and it's not getting

00:41:44   better

00:41:45   no not the Nurburgring number garden

00:41:49   soon that's a stretch of road it is in

00:41:55   so in Germany they built like this test

00:41:58   track the Nurburgring and it's it's it's

00:42:06   in Europe it's the thing where if you're

00:42:08   testing out a car

00:42:10   nurburgring that's hard to say her bring

00:42:13   you have your testing out a car you go

00:42:15   rule running around the Nurburgring and

00:42:20   and that's your that's your standard of

00:42:23   like a how fast do you make it around

00:42:25   this thing and it's a it's a and

00:42:28   everybody wants to everybody in the

00:42:29   sports car world wants to go around at

00:42:32   least once around this fabric ring and I

00:42:35   think if you heard seven is a little bit

00:42:37   hairpin turn 7 a little freaky right low

00:42:40   it's actually less than a hairpin it

00:42:44   less than happen yeah no I'm saying I

00:42:47   mean that you go you will almost a

00:42:48   circle to go around

00:42:49   Yeah Yeah right oh and i think if you if

00:42:51   you go on if you if you do those uh car

00:42:55   racing video games where you can you can

00:42:57   pick your track and you can do Monza and

00:43:00   you can do turn everyone yokohama s here

00:43:03   is really dangerous looking well and

00:43:07   people people get a people blow up on

00:43:10   this nürburgring like the crash and bad

00:43:12   things happen anyway i was i was as you

00:43:15   do

00:43:16   looking up the fastest laps in history

00:43:19   of the Nurburgring and it appears that

00:43:22   the fastest lap ever of the Nurburgring

00:43:26   is in a dodge viper which I was just

00:43:29   like what are you talking about faster

00:43:32   than any Porsche or Ferrari or like it's

00:43:39   in a dodge viper that just seems crazy

00:43:42   that seems like it seems like the

00:43:45   classic you know the story of sports

00:43:47   cars is that Americans throw horsepower

00:43:49   yeah i mean that drag race you've got

00:43:51   some crazy handling here

00:43:53   yeah it has to really really make it

00:43:54   around this super spinny track and I

00:43:58   don't know if you've ever done this but

00:44:00   um no I'm I'm you know what I do know

00:44:03   that you have never done anything I

00:44:05   heard it and i know i haven't done it

00:44:06   but I'm gonna tell you to do something

00:44:08   today it is 10 minutes or 10 or 15

00:44:12   minutes of your life that you that once

00:44:16   you've experienced it you will never

00:44:18   look at life the same way we need to get

00:44:20   a zipcar no I think it's all going to

00:44:23   happen on the internet that you are

00:44:25   going to google rough are you f rough

00:44:29   yellowbird nürburgring are you a fright

00:44:36   you offered nürburgring again and it is

00:44:40   a video of a guy driving a super

00:44:45   hopped-up porsche 911 barefoot around

00:44:51   the Nurburgring

00:44:52   [Music]

00:44:54   and it is phenomenal you put your

00:44:59   headphones on you you put you get in

00:45:02   full screen mode it's a bit it's bad

00:45:03   resolution this because it's a VHS

00:45:06   somebody put a VHS camera in the back of

00:45:08   this car but it is astonishing

00:45:12   it's it's better than it's really better

00:45:15   than going on a rollercoaster watching

00:45:17   this guy drive this one car around this

00:45:19   nürburgring your Palestinian mechanic

00:45:22   has a viper okay right so he has a viper

00:45:25   and he was discovered by my sister or by

00:45:29   my mom some some someone found him out

00:45:32   in the sticks and he was recommended

00:45:35   through somebody threw so-and-so and he

00:45:39   has become this character in Our Lives

00:45:41   the trusted mechanic and I have called

00:45:45   him a few times and said I'm thinking

00:45:46   about getting this this car thing about

00:45:49   getting car x and he says he's like can

00:45:51   I stop you right there we go yeah he

00:45:53   says would you like my advice I go yeah

00:45:56   he's like don't ever get that car so I

00:46:00   know you are the trusted mechanic now

00:46:02   like you are the guy that I'm putting

00:46:04   I'm just putting it all in your hands

00:46:07   like if you tell me that i need a new

00:46:08   water filter if you tell me that i need

00:46:11   you know whatever I find need new hoses

00:46:16   if I need if i need to to buy a hundred

00:46:20   a pound bag of grass seed whatever it is

00:46:24   that you say I'm gonna just go with it

00:46:26   because you are the year the wizard and

00:46:29   you live inside this world that assuming

00:46:32   obviously that he must have he must have

00:46:35   like the greatest car available right

00:46:36   for that he's seen so much about what

00:46:40   can go wrong so we can go well and

00:46:42   poorly about cars that he's obviously a

00:46:43   sage of these things

00:46:45   well yeah but i but i personally feel

00:46:47   like the fact that he drives a viper

00:46:49   it's very confusing to me it's like

00:46:52   something out of seinfeld John where

00:46:54   you've been trusting somebody for years

00:46:56   you know talking about like you know

00:46:58   what kind of real estate to buy and then

00:47:00   you find out that he's like loses a

00:47:02   shirt every couple months terrible deal

00:47:05   but he swears by it and as I've

00:47:07   explained before he's not a guy that you

00:47:09   that you're going to enter into a

00:47:12   conversation like that unless you're

00:47:14   prepared to have an hour-long lecture

00:47:16   about whether dodge viper is the

00:47:18   greatest cars ever made but

00:47:20   independently i have i've discovered

00:47:22   this that this confirmation this

00:47:24   nürburgring confirmation at least that

00:47:26   it is it's done that did that huh side

00:47:34   there's so many letters to write down

00:47:36   nerve for ruff ruff ruff yellow burger

00:47:39   burger bring rough yellow Bergner berg

00:47:43   ring boom you're berg group under yellow

00:47:47   berg yellow Bergner Berg Berg selling a

00:47:51   strep test this week up expertise man

00:47:55   that's complicated it's hard to never

00:47:56   trust just organic yeah and you know for

00:48:00   a long time at you or my computer guy

00:48:02   yeah i wrote the head coach it by that

00:48:04   hyperlink cable yeah if I had any

00:48:06   computer problems i would call you and

00:48:07   then you know and then you would spin a

00:48:09   web of a of lies

00:48:11   it's been a story and pretty soon i

00:48:14   would be down at the mac store buying

00:48:16   apple TV are you just reading things on

00:48:19   the card is the Select now here's the

00:48:23   question you're going to be in this

00:48:24   house you know god-willing for for

00:48:27   several years have you thought about

00:48:28   bringing somebody in to do some work and

00:48:30   get you some ethernet upstairs so you

00:48:32   don't need the blue hyperlink cable i'm

00:48:35   gonna guess you haven't no I have I have

00:48:39   but there are a few there are a few

00:48:43   mistakes that I've made in life get a

00:48:46   fresh card when I bought this house

00:48:49   there was cable TV in every single room

00:48:53   and when you went up when you went

00:48:55   outside and looked at the outside of the

00:48:57   house there was one of those cable

00:48:58   junction boxes and it looked like Doc

00:49:02   already love TV there he had his normal

00:49:08   to human hands and then he had six

00:49:11   octopus hands and then they were like a

00:49:13   there like 10 other hands

00:49:16   somebody love TV i think it was probably

00:49:18   at one point it was used this house was

00:49:22   used as a place where a lot of people

00:49:23   lived and so everybody had TV in their

00:49:27   room and I said to the guy night so I

00:49:30   said to the cable guy is a is a junction

00:49:34   box like this does it divide the signal

00:49:38   so that each box has one sixth of the

00:49:42   available bandwidth or does everybody

00:49:44   get equal power and he was like the

00:49:47   former yep i discovered that and so I

00:49:51   said well I want the most powerful

00:49:53   bandwidth so I want you to take all

00:49:58   these other oh I see what you're saying

00:50:01   you want the one big pipe i want a big

00:50:04   pipe i don't want a bunch of little

00:50:05   pipes and so I want to take all these

00:50:08   other a cables off and just give me one

00:50:12   solid power right into the room we had

00:50:15   we had the doc ock legacy spiderweb of

00:50:17   of that at one point in the comcast are

00:50:20   sitting right there was not enough

00:50:21   signal enough digital signal to keep our

00:50:23   internet connection up because there was

00:50:25   so much stuff and so much transit

00:50:27   injunctions and little Joyner things and

00:50:29   all of that and somebody came in just

00:50:30   just tore all the unnecessary stuff out

00:50:32   and it fixed it

00:50:33   you know it was leading ones and zeros

00:50:35   all over the yard you kidding me i gotta

00:50:37   get another sweep it out so so I say

00:50:40   that this guy like like kill it and so

00:50:42   what he does is he takes all the cables

00:50:45   off of the junction box and rewires it

00:50:49   so just it's a cable coming in and it

00:50:50   goes right in the house right where the

00:50:52   cable arrives which is like the middle

00:50:54   of the living room

00:50:55   well two problems one he didn't then

00:50:58   spend the afternoon taking all the cable

00:51:01   and down off the outside of the house so

00:51:05   it wasn't until he left that I realized

00:51:08   away all that cabling and still I mean

00:51:10   this house is basically held together by

00:51:12   by video cable coaxial cable staple to

00:51:16   be outside and that if I think about

00:51:20   that drives me crazy that bothers me i

00:51:23   want that cleaned up i want some sit

00:51:25   somebody's responsibility to come clean

00:51:27   that up it's so trashy and in our case

00:51:29   we are capable

00:51:30   he's like hanging off the wall and

00:51:31   nobody wants to take any responsibility

00:51:32   for it bases one of those like oh the

00:51:35   tenants are going to have to be the ones

00:51:36   who go to pay to fix this

00:51:37   that's our landlord is not going to come

00:51:38   out and like fix a cable box and you

00:51:41   know comcast and going to do it

00:51:42   oh yeah I'm the comcast guy if there was

00:51:45   ever an opportunity to get him to make

00:51:47   this change it was that first time that

00:51:49   first visit he came out I could have

00:51:51   said hey I just bought this house this

00:51:53   is my responsibility can all this cable

00:51:54   off here but even then he would have

00:51:55   said nah nah nah man nah but now it's

00:52:00   grandfathered in as far as comcast is

00:52:02   concerned I put up all that cable but

00:52:06   anyway so that was the first mistake was

00:52:07   that I didn't think you know what I'm

00:52:09   not gonna do I'm not gonna have a

00:52:11   computer terminal in the living room and

00:52:15   so now i have either given myself a

00:52:18   router behind a couch that I constantly

00:52:22   have to move the couch out from the wall

00:52:23   to reset the router or I have you know

00:52:28   what or I have to run a blue cable over

00:52:33   the over hill over the hills and Del's

00:52:35   up to where I want to compete you know

00:52:38   where i want the internet to be I i

00:52:40   think i'm not an expert on these things

00:52:41   John but I think you're not facing two

00:52:43   much here

00:52:44   mmm i think that's all you got to do the

00:52:47   thing is something just straight up

00:52:48   through the wall just the actual you can

00:52:50   get internet drop upstairs and you'll be

00:52:52   good i'd like to drop it and sorry II

00:52:55   you know you're gonna draw it starts

00:52:57   start over you know there's a nice bird

00:53:00   some of my favorite old-fashioned

00:53:02   candies the ethernet drops and the love

00:53:05   that is different also upgrade retro

00:53:09   jazz band like that ethernet driver like

00:53:12   when you wake up early so I want so

00:53:15   you're right i just recently I have gone

00:53:18   through the looking glass of feeling

00:53:21   like you know I when I bought my house

00:53:23   the market immediately crashed and i

00:53:25   actually remember being at the ymca with

00:53:27   my dad and I was there with the with the

00:53:30   whole group of of elder statesman who

00:53:33   ended up and they're declining years

00:53:36   going to water aerobics

00:53:39   you know all these guys that once was

00:53:41   sat in the seat of power guys that it

00:53:44   should look Henry Kissinger hand and now

00:53:47   they're doing water aerobics to Paula

00:53:49   Abdul CA and I had just bought my first

00:53:55   house sent a note and like that before

00:54:05   you know she started something very

00:54:08   slowly moving in with her she started

00:54:11   out of the dancer she was a later loser

00:54:13   all right that's right click and read

00:54:15   description just a licorice person

00:54:18   no that's a little ping-pong did you

00:54:20   know she was a lakers person

00:54:23   yeah and she was on that television show

00:54:25   well with weigh-in tomorrow with that

00:54:27   guy with the captain Katie yeah wait

00:54:29   wait and Martin's and he will hate

00:54:33   living color

00:54:34   yeah she was on the cool that's right

00:54:36   that's right you always want to be a fly

00:54:38   girls she's a fly girl that's correct my

00:54:40   girl

00:54:41   apply a girl a Flygirl flagger oh I'm

00:54:46   sorry you are you were supposed to join

00:54:47   in there outside fly girls there you go

00:54:50   anyway you're getting water aerobics

00:54:54   yeah one of the old men i was like i was

00:54:56   there and i was like i just bought my

00:54:59   first house and one of these old sons of

00:55:02   bitches says oh good job at the top of

00:55:06   the market

00:55:07   haha shut up old make that happen and I

00:55:11   was like oh you've seen some ups and

00:55:12   downs in your day is that right is that

00:55:14   what you're telling me you've seen the

00:55:16   cycle you can you can peer through peer

00:55:20   through the cheesecloth at the rest of

00:55:22   us are looking through and you see the

00:55:24   cycle of time

00:55:26   Hakuna Matata asshole but his words rang

00:55:30   in my head as the market crashed and my

00:55:32   house was not worth what I paid for

00:55:35   and i SAT here for several years going

00:55:37   like oh this is this was this is the

00:55:39   final straw

00:55:40   I've never participating in wall street

00:55:42   again I have never ever ever i am NOT

00:55:46   joining this dumbass American economy

00:55:49   that is such a blatant lie that has time

00:55:54   after time duped me and my family

00:55:58   personally and all of us collectively

00:56:00   into believing that there is anything

00:56:03   that is anything other than a shelter as

00:56:05   any order that there's any kind of law

00:56:08   that there's any kind of sense to it

00:56:09   that isn't just just a bunch of made-up

00:56:11   bullshit it's just a giant ripoff

00:56:13   we're gonna really is it's just a giant

00:56:14   it's just like two people at a roulette

00:56:17   table where they have a button under the

00:56:19   counter and they're like come play the

00:56:22   music game of one big rule that button

00:56:24   yeah so for a long time I you know I

00:56:27   loved my house but I had this i have

00:56:29   this tension the psychic tension about

00:56:32   it like that if that somehow I had been

00:56:34   cooked and that really the goal was to

00:56:39   get up above water again and then get

00:56:41   out of everything and go live on a

00:56:43   sailboat go live in a shipping container

00:56:45   but now that their economy has recovered

00:56:48   and back I'm back in the black here i

00:56:52   realized i still like my house and now

00:56:54   my mortgage payment is less than any

00:56:57   rent would be in this crazy nice and

00:57:00   these crazy times and so yeah now i'm

00:57:02   looking at being here for awhile and

00:57:05   feeling like maybe I should get some

00:57:07   drops maybe I should get some ethernet

00:57:09   drops maybe I should a rehab that a that

00:57:14   wing of the house that I've been meaning

00:57:16   to do maybe I should build a yoga studio

00:57:18   in the backyard

00:57:19   this could be the time to put up the

00:57:20   shelves you know put up some shelves

00:57:22   that sometimes like some some built-ins

00:57:25   get some built-ins maybe maybe have the

00:57:28   fireplace taken out and replaced with

00:57:30   the Franklin stove

00:57:31   mm its cozy maybe dig out the basement

00:57:34   and build a media room what about

00:57:37   tunnels

00:57:38   speaking Vietnamese have you ever

00:57:39   thought about having two tunnels or I

00:57:41   you know you can't say you can't say

00:57:43   nevermind

00:57:44   my life because that's what I that's

00:57:46   what I want if I ever achieved anything

00:57:47   like success all my single thing now in

00:57:50   the houses i would want to have like

00:57:52   that man isn't cabinets that aside i

00:57:55   have some outbuildings yeah and uh and

00:57:59   of course i would want a tunnel Network

00:58:00   sure

00:58:02   connecting all the outbuildings when

00:58:03   something gets you past the pool in case

00:58:04   you have to get away kind of Professor X

00:58:06   you know to mention you need a way to

00:58:08   get out off of the property right that's

00:58:10   the thing is I mean no matter how good

00:58:11   your defenses you still need a way to

00:58:12   get out of your own property otherwise

00:58:14   you just locked in its just like living

00:58:15   in prison

00:58:16   well this is one of the things that

00:58:17   infuriated me about the movie Skyfall

00:58:20   like Skyfall james bond goes out to his

00:58:25   his childhood mansion in northern

00:58:28   Scotland the caretaker is still there

00:58:31   i'll write a little monk whole this

00:58:33   beautiful

00:58:34   yes I called what is called among pole I

00:58:36   was awesome

00:58:37   god I either with such a boner moment

00:58:39   for me i would love to have a muckle

00:58:41   goes behind the fireplace down into a

00:58:43   secret passage and then somehow down in

00:58:45   the basement it's like full of barrels

00:58:47   of gunpowder and like it's not just

00:58:51   among all its true like month we've been

00:58:53   stocking up on plot devices for decades

00:58:55   exactly it's like wow since the

00:58:58   Revolutionary War you guys have been

00:58:59   since you've been putting cannonballs

00:59:02   down here what's what's in that day's ex

00:59:04   machina box open it to find out but then

00:59:09   in the film multiple times people follow

00:59:13   this monk hole which is which which you

00:59:16   you see these you see in the shots like

00:59:18   it still has brick or stone walls it is

00:59:21   still a passage that a man can walk in

00:59:23   upright and then somehow they somehow

00:59:28   there's 200 yards that they travel under

00:59:32   the under the grass which we never see

00:59:35   do they have to get down on their hands

00:59:38   and knees it's totally unmaintained

00:59:39   unless presently unless unless it has

00:59:42   spooky candles

00:59:43   yeah do they do they have do they run

00:59:45   the entire way and then at the barrier

00:59:47   that then we see them reappear in the

00:59:49   yard but we never see the opening we

00:59:52   always see it from over the time I don't

00:59:55   remember this being that flimsy I'm

00:59:57   gonna watch it probably get angry as

00:59:58   you're frustrating because

00:59:58   you're frustrating because

01:00:00   it's it because it's it's not there's

01:00:02   always some sort of chasing element

01:00:04   where it's like you're what you're

01:00:05   really interested in is are they going

01:00:07   to make it over to the chapel or

01:00:08   whatever it should be almost like The

01:00:10   Great Escape where it should be a little

01:00:11   bit perilous super-low like you know the

01:00:14   thing is that's not going to be made

01:00:16   who knows maybe that was a very

01:00:17   expensive undertaking at the time but

01:00:19   it's not going to be maintained it's

01:00:20   going to be dangerous that should be a

01:00:22   huge parallel getting out of there

01:00:23   that's right and is it just open to the

01:00:26   world then it then the entire thing is

01:00:29   going to be filled with bears you know

01:00:33   like what what it is there a dorm and

01:00:36   there's no in the movie

01:00:40   no one ever opens a door that just they

01:00:42   run out this monk hole and may appear in

01:00:45   the garden but you think it's probably

01:00:46   good-looking zeroed or maybe like a dog

01:00:47   house

01:00:48   well i would like to see that I like

01:00:50   that the screen it's not on the screen i

01:00:52   would like to see that technology

01:00:53   revealed because i am interested in

01:00:56   building among whole passageway to the

01:00:58   to the sin just in case I ever have to

01:01:02   escape from a very poorly explained

01:01:06   barcelona bad guy who was living in on

01:01:09   an island in China with computers taking

01:01:12   over the world but really he wants

01:01:13   revenge

01:01:14   let's get busy it's not a good look at

01:01:17   you getting terrible movies a really

01:01:19   good movie i did not about the Bears

01:01:21   it's awful that movie like really good

01:01:23   and so so this the problem the problem

01:01:27   of that monk hole is 200 yards of it

01:01:30   plus a door go unexplained I can't get

01:01:33   away from the upkeep issues you think

01:01:36   about how wet it is got to be there it

01:01:37   Scotland right it's this guy wetplace it

01:01:40   slow me it's Modi its Scottish think

01:01:44   didn't cave in and even if you assume

01:01:46   that the caretaker guy is also

01:01:48   maintaining the monk whole i would not

01:01:51   count on that I wouldn't count on it

01:01:52   either but let's say he's down there

01:01:54   stockpiling muskets and sabers and and

01:01:59   again more likely to be recently

01:02:02   disappeared children down there right

01:02:04   something terrible what who is who is

01:02:06   stashing what in the most stuff in the

01:02:08   monk hole but then but then this whole

01:02:11   business of like and then you just pop

01:02:12   up in the

01:02:13   garden like a did you pop up in the

01:02:16   garden like the groundhog in Caddyshack

01:02:21   no thank you that thing would be full of

01:02:25   burgers

01:02:26   [Music]