Roderick on the Line

00:00:00 ◼   ► [Music] [TS]

00:00:05 ◼   ► slow hi John I'm Merlin how's it goin [TS]

00:00:10 ◼   ► good how are you I'm very well early [TS]

00:00:14 ◼   ► yeah well this is still honestly it's [TS]

00:00:17 ◼   ► still early for you [TS]

00:00:18 ◼   ► her yeah um well I mean yeah yeah it's [TS]

00:00:23 ◼   ► really the thing is I've set all the [TS]

00:00:25 ◼   ► clocks in my house 10 minutes fast haha [TS]

00:00:29 ◼   ► like Vince Lombardi and so by so I [TS]

00:00:32 ◼   ► always I'm running around like our kind [TS]

00:00:34 ◼   ► of late so late oh oh no and then I then [TS]

00:00:38 ◼   ► I get you know I get to where I'm going [TS]

00:00:41 ◼   ► like i sat down here thinking I was 10 [TS]

00:00:43 ◼   ► minutes late for your for your call and [TS]

00:00:47 ◼   ► then I looked up I was like oh I'm my [TS]

00:00:48 ◼   ► own time [TS]

00:00:48 ◼   ► oh wow my plan worked do you know who [TS]

00:00:52 ◼   ► myself fooling you forget that they're [TS]

00:00:55 ◼   ► set forward [TS]

00:00:56 ◼   ► oh yeah i read a biography of us don't [TS]

00:01:00 ◼   ► lie don't know it's a clock that's why [TS]

00:01:02 ◼   ► it's not locked cock i've enlisted them [TS]

00:01:07 ◼   ► in the circuit in my service [TS]

00:01:09 ◼   ► it's a life hack i am making those [TS]

00:01:11 ◼   ► clocks but i'm sure that those clocks [TS]

00:01:13 ◼   ► when they go to clock heaven [TS]

00:01:15 ◼   ► mhm have to answer to clock st. Peter [TS]

00:01:17 ◼   ► for all the years that they were 10 [TS]

00:01:21 ◼   ► minutes of as and even still they had to [TS]

00:01:25 ◼   ► wait because they got there 10 minutes [TS]

00:01:27 ◼   ► earlier that sounds like a bad irish [TS]

00:01:30 ◼   ► progress made the clocks be 10 minutes [TS]

00:01:32 ◼   ► early for your date with Peter the clock [TS]

00:01:34 ◼   ► st. I juicing Vince Lombardi did this I [TS]

00:01:38 ◼   ► I'm trying to remember um I've always [TS]

00:01:40 ◼   ► been a fan of biographies was a little [TS]

00:01:41 ◼   ► kid I would lose your batteries i [TS]

00:01:43 ◼   ► remember reading a biography of insolent [TS]

00:01:45 ◼   ► know this is true i think it's him that [TS]

00:01:47 ◼   ► supposedly he said his watch forward [TS]

00:01:49 ◼   ► some n number of minutes like 10 minutes [TS]

00:01:52 ◼   ► and I i heard that and how are the [TS]

00:01:55 ◼   ► actual facts in the matter are I started [TS]

00:01:57 ◼   ► singing all of our clocks forward five [TS]

00:01:59 ◼   ► minutes because i thought this is [TS]

00:02:01 ◼   ► brilliant i'll never be late again [TS]

00:02:03 ◼   ► because all as it is you know even today [TS]

00:02:05 ◼   ► I'm still late for everything all the [TS]

00:02:06 ◼   ► time but I but the the crap you've [TS]

00:02:10 ◼   ► answered the question the question is it [TS]

00:02:12 ◼   ► seems like you would you would see my [TS]

00:02:13 ◼   ► problem is I would remember that the [TS]

00:02:15 ◼   ► five minutes [TS]

00:02:17 ◼   ► fast and then I would recompensing eight [TS]

00:02:21 ◼   ► in my lateness and it can make even [TS]

00:02:23 ◼   ► worse it seems to me that what you could [TS]

00:02:25 ◼   ► do is is it would be nice to have built [TS]

00:02:29 ◼   ► a purpose clock that could randomly be a [TS]

00:02:31 ◼   ► certain amount of fast and I wouldn't [TS]

00:02:33 ◼   ► know how much right right you can [TS]

00:02:36 ◼   ► introduce a little entropy of the clock [TS]

00:02:38 ◼   ► the problem is that a the with this [TS]

00:02:40 ◼   ► system now is that everybody has a phone [TS]

00:02:42 ◼   ► and the phone is always exactly right [TS]

00:02:44 ◼   ► and so but but working in my advantage [TS]

00:02:49 ◼   ► is that I lose my phone all the time [TS]

00:02:51 ◼   ► uh-huh so when I look so I having a [TS]

00:02:56 ◼   ► phone that is always right causes me to [TS]

00:02:58 ◼   ► forget that I have set the clocks in my [TS]

00:03:00 ◼   ► house all wrong and i have innumerable [TS]

00:03:03 ◼   ► clocks in my house [TS]

00:03:05 ◼   ► partly because I collect clocks and so [TS]

00:03:09 ◼   ► I'm always looking up at the clock that [TS]

00:03:11 ◼   ► shaped like the state of Alaska or the [TS]

00:03:14 ◼   ► clock that is made out of 1964 silver [TS]

00:03:17 ◼   ► coins em or you know I have a microwave [TS]

00:03:21 ◼   ► and oven and they both have clocks that [TS]

00:03:23 ◼   ► are right up of one another and [TS]

00:03:26 ◼   ► sometimes sometimes I will sit for a [TS]

00:03:28 ◼   ► full minute with my finger on the Start [TS]

00:03:31 ◼   ► clock button [TS]

00:03:32 ◼   ► oh yeah of one of them waiting for the [TS]

00:03:34 ◼   ► other one to turn so that they are [TS]

00:03:35 ◼   ► exactly in sync [TS]

00:03:36 ◼   ► oh my god John i am i'm sorry to say I [TS]

00:03:41 ◼   ► am so glad you said that I I don't know [TS]

00:03:45 ◼   ► I've had the reputation i think it's [TS]

00:03:47 ◼   ► sometimes of being somebody I think it's [TS]

00:03:49 ◼   ► obviously somebody's tightly wound there [TS]

00:03:51 ◼   ► are a handful of things that I'm really [TS]

00:03:53 ◼   ► tightly wound if you like about and one [TS]

00:03:56 ◼   ► of them is it drives me nuts we've got [TS]

00:03:58 ◼   ► we've got like a radio on top of the [TS]

00:04:00 ◼   ► refrigerator which is one of those it's [TS]

00:04:01 ◼   ► not like a fancy pose but it's one of [TS]

00:04:03 ◼   ► those like little like nice radios gotta [TS]

00:04:05 ◼   ► clock [TS]

00:04:05 ◼   ► yeah you gotta clock on the microwave [TS]

00:04:07 ◼   ► and it drives me crazy with no match for [TS]

00:04:12 ◼   ► me to get feels it feels like something [TS]

00:04:14 ◼   ► is fundamentally wrong something is [TS]

00:04:16 ◼   ► fundamentally wrong and the clocks note [TS]

00:04:18 ◼   ► to the Hawks are very upset when the [TS]

00:04:20 ◼   ► hair here on my desk my private office [TS]

00:04:22 ◼   ► I've got this [TS]

00:04:25 ◼   ► this dinguses by ten bucks says atomic [TS]

00:04:27 ◼   ► clock on it and this clock automatically [TS]

00:04:29 ◼   ► sets itself using science right science [TS]

00:04:33 ◼   ► uh-huh is some some protons vibrating at [TS]

00:04:36 ◼   ► a million miles an hour and that clock [TS]

00:04:38 ◼   ► knows it now I know you're not a [TS]

00:04:40 ◼   ► scientist I think there are protons [TS]

00:04:41 ◼   ► vibrating and somewhere there's some [TS]

00:04:43 ◼   ► cadmium is degrading alright and that's [TS]

00:04:46 ◼   ► the GMT so actually I know a guy here [TS]

00:04:49 ◼   ► that really gets off on degrading cat [TS]

00:04:51 ◼   ► cadmium Jason fitting haha mixing blue [TS]

00:04:56 ◼   ► why do i say doing when I have a bell [TS]

00:04:58 ◼   ► right in front of me [TS]

00:04:59 ◼   ► primary the technology [TS]

00:05:03 ◼   ► yeah I yeah I don't like being that way [TS]

00:05:05 ◼   ► you have the only way that would work [TS]

00:05:07 ◼   ► for me i think is if they if they were [TS]

00:05:09 ◼   ► all wrong but you know part of it is [TS]

00:05:10 ◼   ► also you know I hate to admit it but [TS]

00:05:11 ◼   ► listen to the NPR a lot and you know [TS]

00:05:13 ◼   ► that's coming off the radio and that's a [TS]

00:05:15 ◼   ► straight shot right off the radio and [TS]

00:05:17 ◼   ► i'll read it to the time [TS]

00:05:19 ◼   ► yeah with the cadmium and whatnot and I [TS]

00:05:20 ◼   ► and so if it gets if I her dog done the [TS]

00:05:25 ◼   ► thing you're late and it is for its 459 [TS]

00:05:29 ◼   ► I'm I'm livid [TS]

00:05:31 ◼   ► yeah yeah well I i just had a very [TS]

00:05:34 ◼   ► interesting conversation kind of on this [TS]

00:05:35 ◼   ► exact topic this weekend [TS]

00:05:38 ◼   ► your friend of mine been a curse stay [TS]

00:05:40 ◼   ► here at my house [TS]

00:05:41 ◼   ► oh boy I bet that was funny it was fun [TS]

00:05:45 ◼   ► because also staying here guys all [TS]

00:05:47 ◼   ► snowstorm oh I better off staying at my [TS]

00:05:50 ◼   ► like the worst loved whatever trouble [TS]

00:05:52 ◼   ► little farm that's right no girls [TS]

00:05:54 ◼   ► allowed [TS]

00:05:55 ◼   ► but um you know this this way I have of [TS]

00:06:00 ◼   ► anthropomorphic sizing not just animals [TS]

00:06:03 ◼   ► but also inanimate objects [TS]

00:06:06 ◼   ► I was host i was telling the knacker [TS]

00:06:09 ◼   ► about my coffeemaker saga where I had [TS]

00:06:12 ◼   ► the one coffee maker that was fine and [TS]

00:06:15 ◼   ► then I got the other coffee maker [TS]

00:06:16 ◼   ► because it was going to solve all my [TS]

00:06:18 ◼   ► problems but it was a piece shit and [TS]

00:06:20 ◼   ► then I told you about it and you saw you [TS]

00:06:22 ◼   ► additionally solve my problem by sending [TS]

00:06:24 ◼   ► me a third coffee maker sorry and I was [TS]

00:06:28 ◼   ► like Christmas have all these coffee [TS]

00:06:30 ◼   ► makers and I can't get rid of them [TS]

00:06:32 ◼   ► because I'm not a monster [TS]

00:06:34 ◼   ► collector and then then very you know [TS]

00:06:38 ◼   ► strangely said do you mean that you're [TS]

00:06:41 ◼   ► not a monster in that you don't get rid [TS]

00:06:44 ◼   ► of those superfluous coffee makers [TS]

00:06:46 ◼   ► because you're afraid to hurt their [TS]

00:06:47 ◼   ► feelings and I said yes [TS]

00:06:52 ◼   ► what's your point thank you for knowing [TS]

00:06:54 ◼   ► me uh-huh and he said it's interesting [TS]

00:06:58 ◼   ► that and I said do you know because [TS]

00:07:01 ◼   ► that's such an penetrating observation i [TS]

00:07:03 ◼   ► said you do you feel that that inanimate [TS]

00:07:08 ◼   ► objects have feelings and you're afraid [TS]

00:07:09 ◼   ► of hurting them and he said well no in [TS]

00:07:12 ◼   ► fact I'm sort of the great santini of [TS]

00:07:15 ◼   ► inanimate objects [TS]

00:07:17 ◼   ► I walk around my house yelling at them [TS]

00:07:19 ◼   ► for failing to meet my expectations and [TS]

00:07:23 ◼   ► we and so now i'm very curious i pull up [TS]

00:07:26 ◼   ► a chair [TS]

00:07:26 ◼   ► even though I'm late for the podcast but [TS]

00:07:28 ◼   ► I'm not because I'm to my collection 10 [TS]

00:07:30 ◼   ► minutes fast and I say tell you still [TS]

00:07:32 ◼   ► there right now [TS]

00:07:33 ◼   ► yeah he's downstairs that and I said [TS]

00:07:38 ◼   ► tell me more about this and he said well [TS]

00:07:41 ◼   ► I walk around the house and I'm like god [TS]

00:07:43 ◼   ► dammit Sox where are you why are you on [TS]

00:07:45 ◼   ► my feet [TS]

00:07:46 ◼   ► god damn it you know television set why [TS]

00:07:50 ◼   ► don't you why does the channel come in [TS]

00:07:51 ◼   ► and I recognized immediately that the [TS]

00:07:56 ◼   ► voice that he was using to speak to [TS]

00:07:58 ◼   ► inanimate objects was the voice that a [TS]

00:08:00 ◼   ► depressed person uses to talk to [TS]

00:08:02 ◼   ► themselves the last roll [TS]

00:08:05 ◼   ► that's right and I said but you never [TS]

00:08:08 ◼   ► talk that way to yourself and he said oh [TS]

00:08:12 ◼   ► no I'm great with myself [TS]

00:08:13 ◼   ► meet me and myself are good together but [TS]

00:08:16 ◼   ► but he does have that voice he's just [TS]

00:08:20 ◼   ► directing it at the half the dumb things [TS]

00:08:24 ◼   ► and and and I I immediately was playing [TS]

00:08:28 ◼   ► this scenario out like what happens when [TS]

00:08:29 ◼   ► I can't find my socks and what happens [TS]

00:08:33 ◼   ► when I can't find my socks is in in my [TS]

00:08:36 ◼   ► inner monologue [TS]

00:08:37 ◼   ► I'm saying asshole why the you know why [TS]

00:08:40 ◼   ► can't you find your socks my house art [TS]

00:08:42 ◼   ► is that how hard it is to get your such [TS]

00:08:43 ◼   ► an idea what you know you should have a [TS]

00:08:44 ◼   ► system for having socks [TS]

00:08:46 ◼   ► and you don't even have you don't have a [TS]

00:08:48 ◼   ► system and so those socks are everywhere [TS]

00:08:50 ◼   ► and now you're late in your idiot and he [TS]

00:08:53 ◼   ► is saying that same thing except the [TS]

00:08:55 ◼   ► socks [TS]

00:08:55 ◼   ► Wow and he and he honestly you know you [TS]

00:08:59 ◼   ► know Ben actor he's not a depressed [TS]

00:09:01 ◼   ► person not really [TS]

00:09:03 ◼   ► and yet he has the same voice the same [TS]

00:09:05 ◼   ► impulse it's just he has miraculously [TS]

00:09:08 ◼   ► figured out or or like been raised to or [TS]

00:09:12 ◼   ► in his in his his beautiful mind has [TS]

00:09:16 ◼   ► transferred that responsibility to the [TS]

00:09:19 ◼   ► dumb thing and I'm just reeling from it [TS]

00:09:22 ◼   ► i think it's fantastic it's it takes it [TS]

00:09:25 ◼   ► takes years to realize that the voices [TS]

00:09:26 ◼   ► even there [TS]

00:09:27 ◼   ► let's be honest I mean you may be made [TS]

00:09:29 ◼   ► be aware occasionally have like feeling [TS]

00:09:31 ◼   ► bad about yourself but to really [TS]

00:09:32 ◼   ► recognize that there is a while [TS]

00:09:34 ◼   ► strolling your head take it configures [TS]

00:09:36 ◼   ► to really finally acknowledge that and [TS]

00:09:37 ◼   ► notice it when it's gonna go i know that [TS]

00:09:39 ◼   ► guy but what a move to be able to know [TS]

00:09:43 ◼   ► that voice is there and then take it as [TS]

00:09:45 ◼   ► your own and directed towards socks [TS]

00:09:47 ◼   ► isn't that something that's a thought [TS]

00:09:48 ◼   ► technology i really really i'm i'm [TS]

00:09:50 ◼   ► looking around my room and I'm so angry [TS]

00:09:52 ◼   ► at everything here now you're stuck to [TS]

00:09:54 ◼   ► get some as well because all this shit [TS]

00:09:56 ◼   ► has been failing me this entire time and [TS]

00:09:58 ◼   ► I thought it was my fault know and its [TS]

00:10:00 ◼   ► really all these dumb things that are [TS]

00:10:01 ◼   ► not where they belong and they're not [TS]

00:10:04 ◼   ► helping me the way they should and just [TS]

00:10:06 ◼   ► looking at them [TS]

00:10:06 ◼   ► I thought we I thought we had reached a [TS]

00:10:08 ◼   ► point I really did felt like even as [TS]

00:10:11 ◼   ► recently as a couple years ago i'm not [TS]

00:10:12 ◼   ► going to go into the iphone thing but [TS]

00:10:14 ◼   ► i'm just gonna say like it seemed like [TS]

00:10:16 ◼   ► up to maybe in the last couple years you [TS]

00:10:19 ◼   ► could do stuff that started to seem like [TS]

00:10:21 ◼   ► magic like you had a phone that you can [TS]

00:10:23 ◼   ► look at the internet on it worked and in [TS]

00:10:25 ◼   ► my case something I want to go too far [TS]

00:10:26 ◼   ► because it's not super interesting but [TS]

00:10:28 ◼   ► apparently I have cable TV and didn't [TS]

00:10:30 ◼   ► know it but you [TS]

00:10:32 ◼   ► well yeah we got it at some point and I [TS]

00:10:34 ◼   ► guess I forgot to cancel or whatever we [TS]

00:10:36 ◼   ► got cable TV and then I sat down one [TS]

00:10:38 ◼   ► night because my wife said let's watch [TS]

00:10:39 ◼   ► the oscars and I said that's good we've [TS]

00:10:42 ◼   ► got cable TV i think and i went i [TS]

00:10:44 ◼   ► collected all the things all the pieces [TS]

00:10:46 ◼   ► of Technology the comcast has been [TS]

00:10:48 ◼   ► sending me without my asking over the [TS]

00:10:49 ◼   ► years that I'm supposed to connect up [TS]

00:10:51 ◼   ► but you remember I mean as recently as a [TS]

00:10:52 ◼   ► couple three years ago we've gotten to [TS]

00:10:55 ◼   ► the point that you and I of course you [TS]

00:10:56 ◼   ► remember what was involved in getting a [TS]

00:10:57 ◼   ► special cable [TS]

00:10:59 ◼   ► and uh if i canna was an anchorage yeah [TS]

00:11:02 ◼   ► yeah yeah [TS]

00:11:02 ◼   ► crouch down yeah we're going to review [TS]

00:11:05 ◼   ► the wrong the parental key turn your key [TS]

00:11:07 ◼   ► sir you have the thing on your box you [TS]

00:11:09 ◼   ► can slip a piece of cardboard into to [TS]

00:11:10 ◼   ► get the porno channels but you there's [TS]

00:11:12 ◼   ► always an intermediary thing and it [TS]

00:11:13 ◼   ► seemed like we got to a point where [TS]

00:11:15 ◼   ► maybe even since college on a modern [TS]

00:11:17 ◼   ► setup all you have to do is take your [TS]

00:11:19 ◼   ► coaxial cable from out of the wall and [TS]

00:11:21 ◼   ► plug it into your TV and now you had TV [TS]

00:11:24 ◼   ► yet all the TV and all the TV and that [TS]

00:11:27 ◼   ► was it [TS]

00:11:27 ◼   ► I mean the worst thing was I mean [TS]

00:11:29 ◼   ► figuring out are you on channel three or [TS]

00:11:31 ◼   ► four right that one that was it and [TS]

00:11:32 ◼   ► you're done and you don't touch again [TS]

00:11:34 ◼   ► until the TV explodes and you buy [TS]

00:11:35 ◼   ► another one and you know i'm not the [TS]

00:11:38 ◼   ► sharpest knife in the drawer but I can [TS]

00:11:40 ◼   ► usually figure these things it's you [TS]

00:11:41 ◼   ► should see this this octopus of junk [TS]

00:11:44 ◼   ► that we've got and what I finally [TS]

00:11:46 ◼   ► discovered was that one of the things [TS]

00:11:47 ◼   ► that they sent us was like a converter [TS]

00:11:49 ◼   ► that you would use for like it basically [TS]

00:11:52 ◼   ► it's like a tiny cable box like the size [TS]

00:11:54 ◼   ► of a box of matches and you use their [TS]

00:11:56 ◼   ► comcast remote to change the channels [TS]

00:11:58 ◼   ► with that I don't know how to do this [TS]

00:12:00 ◼   ► John just it just feels like I want to [TS]

00:12:03 ◼   ► yell I want to yell at all the devices [TS]

00:12:04 ◼   ► now and as I fight it because you know i [TS]

00:12:07 ◼   ► know that i know the the Welshman's in [TS]

00:12:09 ◼   ► there i just i would like to think i can [TS]

00:12:11 ◼   ► rise above it and I think that's killing [TS]

00:12:12 ◼   ► me [TS]

00:12:13 ◼   ► yeah no no I i believe i believe that i [TS]

00:12:16 ◼   ► believe in this new technology i believe [TS]

00:12:18 ◼   ► in yelling at things [TS]

00:12:19 ◼   ► who the problem is that it would with [TS]

00:12:21 ◼   ► technology and i will get into the [TS]

00:12:24 ◼   ► iphone thing [TS]

00:12:25 ◼   ► oh my god fucking gone John can talk [TS]

00:12:27 ◼   ► about the experts and i'll talk about [TS]

00:12:29 ◼   ► the salty so mad at ya gotta put a [TS]

00:12:31 ◼   ► couple drops I'm so bad at seven fucking [TS]

00:12:34 ◼   ► mad at my outfit because you know I'm [TS]

00:12:37 ◼   ► entirely dependent on it and yet there [TS]

00:12:40 ◼   ► is still that suggestion and it's that [TS]

00:12:42 ◼   ► it's the fall suggestion that that [TS]

00:12:45 ◼   ► suggested by like false options you know [TS]

00:12:48 ◼   ► yet we have we have four or five options [TS]

00:12:51 ◼   ► and they're all false it's like up AT&T [TS]

00:12:53 ◼   ► or Verizon do i get a do i get a [TS]

00:12:56 ◼   ► microsoft phone or google phone or [TS]

00:12:58 ◼   ► iPhone and and and so when you're a [TS]

00:13:01 ◼   ► knight a delta who exactly united or [TS]

00:13:03 ◼   ► delta and so when the system isn't [TS]

00:13:05 ◼   ► working [TS]

00:13:06 ◼   ► there's that little [TS]

00:13:07 ◼   ► little element of doubt in your mind [TS]

00:13:10 ◼   ► that maybe you made the wrong choice and [TS]

00:13:12 ◼   ► if you have just chosen better if you [TS]

00:13:14 ◼   ► had done more research if you had like [TS]

00:13:16 ◼   ► if you were a more moral person you know [TS]

00:13:20 ◼   ► that's the whole iphone a mac microsoft [TS]

00:13:23 ◼   ► thing is that the two sides argued get [TS]

00:13:26 ◼   ► argue with each other and there's always [TS]

00:13:27 ◼   ► this tension like you're an immoral [TS]

00:13:29 ◼   ► person for having chosen the wrong [TS]

00:13:31 ◼   ► operating system or the wrong you know [TS]

00:13:33 ◼   ► the wrong corporate Overlord and so so [TS]

00:13:37 ◼   ► there's always this tinge of suggestion [TS]

00:13:39 ◼   ► of culpability in the fact that i'm [TS]

00:13:42 ◼   ► standing somewhere and my a mapping [TS]

00:13:46 ◼   ► program is lying to me and then i get a [TS]

00:13:50 ◼   ► text from somebody saying where are you [TS]

00:13:52 ◼   ► the buildings on fire and then the phone [TS]

00:13:54 ◼   ► dies and I'm and then all of a sudden [TS]

00:13:58 ◼   ► I'm just like covered in I'm uncovered [TS]

00:14:01 ◼   ► in ectoplasm [TS]

00:14:04 ◼   ► I mean I've been slimed basically by the [TS]

00:14:07 ◼   ► by Microsoft or by a Macintosh and you [TS]

00:14:12 ◼   ► know and humiliated and furious and whom [TS]

00:14:14 ◼   ► i'm at there's no one to direct the [TS]

00:14:17 ◼   ► anger and that little doubt of of choice [TS]

00:14:21 ◼   ► that's in their causes me to be mad at [TS]

00:14:23 ◼   ► myself and I don't know how I don't know [TS]

00:14:24 ◼   ► how that is the other day I was downtown [TS]

00:14:27 ◼   ► i'm with the time with my baby i'm [TS]

00:14:30 ◼   ► supposed to meet my baby's mama I'm then [TS]

00:14:33 ◼   ► supposed to meet I'm been supposed to [TS]

00:14:36 ◼   ► pick up my mom who is having some dental [TS]

00:14:39 ◼   ► surgery and my phone dies and my phone [TS]

00:14:44 ◼   ► does not because I failed to charge it [TS]

00:14:46 ◼   ► I my phone dies because it is a piece of [TS]

00:14:49 ◼   ► garbage can [TS]

00:14:51 ◼   ► what information did it go did it crash [TS]

00:14:53 ◼   ► to go all the way down and you can't get [TS]

00:14:54 ◼   ► it back up [TS]

00:14:55 ◼   ► can't get back up so you got that thing [TS]

00:14:57 ◼   ► where my wife has this if my wife at [TS]

00:14:59 ◼   ► some point between thirty and sixty [TS]

00:15:01 ◼   ► percent stops working [TS]

00:15:02 ◼   ► yeah just just goes just that's just the [TS]

00:15:04 ◼   ► thing it does i can't--it's up and it [TS]

00:15:06 ◼   ► and it always happens when it's like [TS]

00:15:08 ◼   ► okay it's 5pm and i'm downtown seattle [TS]

00:15:11 ◼   ► on a friday afternoon every single [TS]

00:15:14 ◼   ► worker bee in the hive is trying to get [TS]

00:15:17 ◼   ► out [TS]

00:15:18 ◼   ► of the city at this exact same moment so [TS]

00:15:21 ◼   ► there's no you there's no loading zones [TS]

00:15:24 ◼   ► there's no place to pull over just to [TS]

00:15:27 ◼   ► even collect your thoughts because the [TS]

00:15:29 ◼   ► whole big ant hill is disgorging yeah [TS]

00:15:33 ◼   ► the city requires all of your attention [TS]

00:15:35 ◼   ► it can talk with 100-percent attention [TS]

00:15:37 ◼   ► and my child is in the backseat doing [TS]

00:15:40 ◼   ► her thing where she lists every word [TS]

00:15:42 ◼   ► ever spoken by man at the top of her [TS]

00:15:45 ◼   ► voice in a kind of incantation that will [TS]

00:15:48 ◼   ► raise the Pharaohs and I'm saying to her [TS]

00:15:52 ◼   ► darling right now daddy needs just a [TS]

00:15:55 ◼   ► little bit of quiet just a moment of [TS]

00:15:58 ◼   ► quiet now now now and her responses now [TS]

00:16:02 ◼   ► yeah [TS]

00:16:02 ◼   ► quiet you want me to stop talking you [TS]

00:16:05 ◼   ► want talking to stop you know and i'm [TS]

00:16:08 ◼   ► like ahh and then the phone goes from ya [TS]

00:16:11 ◼   ► thirty percent battery power which I [TS]

00:16:15 ◼   ► mean I've only been out in the town a [TS]

00:16:17 ◼   ► couple of hours where it had a hundred [TS]

00:16:19 ◼   ► percent before so it's already and it is [TS]

00:16:21 ◼   ► that's a 3d sportswear that's a 33 times [TS]

00:16:23 ◼   ► a week thing for my wife with a [TS]

00:16:25 ◼   ► two-year-old phone [TS]

00:16:25 ◼   ► yeah yeah there you go on my phone is [TS]

00:16:27 ◼   ► just about that same age I like 4s [TS]

00:16:30 ◼   ► its a 50 and and this is the thing about [TS]

00:16:35 ◼   ► the choice like I was rocking a 3s and [TS]

00:16:39 ◼   ► the 3s was rocking but it no longer [TS]

00:16:42 ◼   ► could handle any of the new apps right [TS]

00:16:44 ◼   ► and so I had to upgrade and so I waited [TS]

00:16:49 ◼   ► for the five and I and I and I spent a [TS]

00:16:52 ◼   ► whole summer with the three kind of like [TS]

00:16:55 ◼   ► shaking shimmering almost not working [TS]

00:16:59 ◼   ► and i was like i can wait I can wait [TS]

00:17:00 ◼   ► until the five comes out i can wait I [TS]

00:17:02 ◼   ► can wait and the five came out and the [TS]

00:17:04 ◼   ► first thing they did was they fucked me [TS]

00:17:05 ◼   ► with the with the i had to buy all new [TS]

00:17:07 ◼   ► cables and then the second thing was [TS]

00:17:09 ◼   ► it's a piece of shit and and I felt like [TS]

00:17:12 ◼   ► and then also all my friends that are [TS]

00:17:14 ◼   ► better than still have 4 s's are like [TS]

00:17:16 ◼   ► mine still works fine I'm like oh my god [TS]

00:17:19 ◼   ► i may I made the wrong choice it's my [TS]

00:17:21 ◼   ► fault somehow right [TS]

00:17:23 ◼   ► anyway i'm downtown and it's like now [TS]

00:17:25 ◼   ► I'm I'm dead in the water [TS]

00:17:28 ◼   ► I'm paralyzed I don't even know these [TS]

00:17:30 ◼   ► people's actual phone numbers because i [TS]

00:17:33 ◼   ► have become I because the thing is such [TS]

00:17:36 ◼   ► a crunch now I used to carry a little [TS]

00:17:38 ◼   ► laminated card with all of my people's [TS]

00:17:40 ◼   ► phone numbers on because you're a Wes [TS]

00:17:43 ◼   ► Anderson care and as time went on [TS]

00:17:45 ◼   ► oh my god i still have all these cards [TS]

00:17:47 ◼   ► as time went on you know i had i have a [TS]

00:17:52 ◼   ► lot of friends right so i would make a [TS]

00:17:54 ◼   ► double-sided card and it ended up being [TS]

00:17:57 ◼   ► about a three by five card with [TS]

00:18:01 ◼   ► microscopic little writing on filling up [TS]

00:18:06 ◼   ► like sometimes three columns on both [TS]

00:18:08 ◼   ► sides of this car let your like personal [TS]

00:18:10 ◼   ► human information codex it's exactly [TS]

00:18:13 ◼   ► right and it had all of the it had all [TS]

00:18:15 ◼   ► of the key code numbers everything that [TS]

00:18:17 ◼   ► I needed every pin number and the pin [TS]

00:18:19 ◼   ► numbers were all disguised as like the [TS]

00:18:21 ◼   ► second half of phone numbers that didn't [TS]

00:18:24 ◼   ► exist that only I could read you know [TS]

00:18:26 ◼   ► all these like codes and keys and people [TS]

00:18:31 ◼   ► that I knew that had six different phone [TS]

00:18:32 ◼   ► numbers i would have all those arranged [TS]

00:18:34 ◼   ► and subheadings and stop on that i have [TS]

00:18:36 ◼   ► is i still have these little cards and [TS]

00:18:37 ◼   ► they're my favorite little talismans of [TS]

00:18:39 ◼   ► on of a dead age but now I'm standing [TS]

00:18:42 ◼   ► there and I'm realizing i don't even [TS]

00:18:45 ◼   ► know the phone number of my daughter's [TS]

00:18:47 ◼   ► mother like I couldn't tell you what it [TS]

00:18:50 ◼   ► is and as the camera zooms straight up [TS]

00:18:56 ◼   ► and I'll turn to the heavens and go god [TS]

00:18:59 ◼   ► dammit you know I'm like I'm I'm stuck [TS]

00:19:03 ◼   ► I'm in my own city surrounded by my own [TS]

00:19:07 ◼   ► people and i have no ability to this [TS]

00:19:10 ◼   ► thing dies and I'm just like that's like [TS]

00:19:12 ◼   ► my battery died it's also for you it [TS]

00:19:15 ◼   ► seems like it's like morally like [TS]

00:19:17 ◼   ► antithetical like as a man who would [TS]

00:19:19 ◼   ► like to have all knowledge available [TS]

00:19:21 ◼   ► after the apocalypse to be able to [TS]

00:19:23 ◼   ► recreate society must be going to know [TS]

00:19:25 ◼   ► that like there's one little battery [TS]

00:19:26 ◼   ► blip between you and all the world's [TS]

00:19:28 ◼   ► information and you can't do anything [TS]

00:19:29 ◼   ► about it [TS]

00:19:30 ◼   ► well it keeps me ever vigilant and so [TS]

00:19:32 ◼   ► what happened in this situation was the [TS]

00:19:35 ◼   ► backup plan was initiated and in our [TS]

00:19:39 ◼   ► family we have several backups that [TS]

00:19:41 ◼   ► plans [TS]

00:19:42 ◼   ► the first one being in that that's [TS]

00:19:47 ◼   ► that's where this is going to make you [TS]

00:19:49 ◼   ► laugh but in the event of a catastrophic [TS]

00:19:52 ◼   ► emergency everyone in my family knows to [TS]

00:19:57 ◼   ► convene at a certain spot plz drill them [TS]

00:20:02 ◼   ► on occasion we are all drills and so and [TS]

00:20:06 ◼   ► that spot that spot is our secret spot [TS]

00:20:08 ◼   ► which is also somewhat fortified against [TS]

00:20:12 ◼   ► intrusion i think you said enough and [TS]

00:20:15 ◼   ► everyone knows it and the end and the [TS]

00:20:19 ◼   ► idea the idea being like in the event of [TS]

00:20:21 ◼   ► a like a true a massive earthquake or [TS]

00:20:27 ◼   ► massive electromagnetic pulses some kind [TS]

00:20:30 ◼   ► of EMP it's going to take actually going [TS]

00:20:33 ◼   ► to take me the longest to get to this [TS]

00:20:36 ◼   ► place it is closest to the people that [TS]

00:20:41 ◼   ► will have the hardest time getting there [TS]

00:20:43 ◼   ► but we've like we have stopped it and so [TS]

00:20:47 ◼   ► forth and the Assumption being that it's [TS]

00:20:49 ◼   ► going to take me the longest to get [TS]

00:20:51 ◼   ► there but I'm the one that's most [TS]

00:20:52 ◼   ► capable of journeying in a [TS]

00:20:54 ◼   ► post-apocalyptic landscape [TS]

00:20:56 ◼   ► [Music] [TS]

00:20:58 ◼   ► and presumably as I am journeying in the [TS]

00:21:01 ◼   ► post-apocalyptic landscape i will also [TS]

00:21:03 ◼   ► be gathering other material so I'm [TS]

00:21:09 ◼   ► statue in the town i'm like I'm supposed [TS]

00:21:11 ◼   ► to get my mom from the doctor [TS]

00:21:13 ◼   ► I don't know how in need she is [TS]

00:21:18 ◼   ► i'm supposed to meet the baby's mother [TS]

00:21:21 ◼   ► and handed the baby off all these things [TS]

00:21:24 ◼   ► are supposed to happen and then I'll [TS]

00:21:26 ◼   ► everybody else in the in the story has [TS]

00:21:27 ◼   ► to then go to another event like this [TS]

00:21:30 ◼   ► all has to happen in it within a [TS]

00:21:32 ◼   ► compressed timeframe and I just said I'm [TS]

00:21:37 ◼   ► going to do I'm going to the bunker [TS]

00:21:39 ◼   ► I'm going to the mattresses and i turned [TS]

00:21:41 ◼   ► the car around and I went to the UH i [TS]

00:21:44 ◼   ► went to the rendezvous point and i SAT [TS]

00:21:47 ◼   ► there and I was like this is all i can [TS]

00:21:51 ◼   ► think of to do like my phone battery has [TS]

00:21:54 ◼   ► died and i've gone to the apocalypse Ron [TS]

00:21:56 ◼   ► available because it up with all you do [TS]

00:22:01 ◼   ► what else can I do you don't have you [TS]

00:22:03 ◼   ► don't have a bat-signal if you don't [TS]

00:22:05 ◼   ► have like a pneumatic tube every other [TS]

00:22:07 ◼   ► option is wrong and so I SAT there and [TS]

00:22:11 ◼   ► of course Chris the baby is like what [TS]

00:22:13 ◼   ► are we doing well after we hear what his [TS]

00:22:16 ◼   ► mama and I'm like I just I you know what [TS]

00:22:19 ◼   ► I still need to be quiet [TS]

00:22:20 ◼   ► not that does because daddy needs his [TS]

00:22:23 ◼   ► attention anymore but because daddy [TS]

00:22:25 ◼   ► really doesn't daddy doesn't know what's [TS]

00:22:28 ◼   ► happening now is covered in confusion [TS]

00:22:31 ◼   ► but because his one little fucking [TS]

00:22:35 ◼   ► stupid brick is dead and you know and [TS]

00:22:38 ◼   ► the babies just like well I could play [TS]

00:22:40 ◼   ► with dolls and that's you know that's [TS]

00:22:43 ◼   ► all the technology that she needs and so [TS]

00:22:46 ◼   ► we're sitting there just like dummies [TS]

00:22:49 ◼   ► I mean I'm just sitting there like a [TS]

00:22:50 ◼   ► dummy and then one by one all the clan [TS]

00:22:57 ◼   ► arrives and they need they knew they [TS]

00:23:00 ◼   ► were drilled and they walked in what one [TS]

00:23:03 ◼   ► after another [TS]

00:23:04 ◼   ► not mad just like Oh [TS]

00:23:08 ◼   ► I figured you'd be here this is the like [TS]

00:23:12 ◼   ► something must have happened and I was [TS]

00:23:15 ◼   ► like yeah my phone died and they were [TS]

00:23:18 ◼   ► like oh right and everybody understood [TS]

00:23:21 ◼   ► immediately that that was something I [TS]

00:23:22 ◼   ► was powerless about and be in the in the [TS]

00:23:26 ◼   ► event that happens it you know you might [TS]

00:23:29 ◼   ► as well just have like it really isn't [TS]

00:23:33 ◼   ► apocalypse and so that my mom came the [TS]

00:23:38 ◼   ► baby was collected the project continued [TS]

00:23:41 ◼   ► and you know i gotta walk back out into [TS]

00:23:45 ◼   ► the daylight like well I guess I'm what [TS]

00:23:49 ◼   ► can i do now i guess i have to go home [TS]

00:23:51 ◼   ► and look at my phone there's no other [TS]

00:23:54 ◼   ► like I could I guess I could go like [TS]

00:23:56 ◼   ► window shopping in the town and I guess [TS]

00:24:00 ◼   ► I could go walk down the street twirling [TS]

00:24:01 ◼   ► my cane and looking at flower [TS]

00:24:03 ◼   ► arrangements but if i have anything else [TS]

00:24:06 ◼   ► to do if i have any other appointment or [TS]

00:24:08 ◼   ► anybody else to talk to you today I've [TS]

00:24:10 ◼   ► got and the problem is you know at the [TS]

00:24:12 ◼   ► at our rendezvous point there is no [TS]

00:24:15 ◼   ► iphone 5 charger [TS]

00:24:17 ◼   ► oh I bought five of them and there's one [TS]

00:24:21 ◼   ► of my house and there's one in the car [TS]

00:24:23 ◼   ► and there's one at the baby mamas house [TS]

00:24:24 ◼   ► and there's one at the barber daughters [TS]

00:24:26 ◼   ► the iphone five charges everywhere but [TS]

00:24:28 ◼   ► there's not one at the bunker that's [TS]

00:24:35 ◼   ► really disquieting yeah i-i-i eat my [TS]

00:24:40 ◼   ► here at my house of course i have all [TS]

00:24:42 ◼   ► the Boy Scout manuals and all of the all [TS]

00:24:45 ◼   ► of the like introduction to electronics [TS]

00:24:47 ◼   ► reference guides that will allow me to [TS]

00:24:50 ◼   ► recreate civilization [TS]

00:24:53 ◼   ► yeah but and so and so the reality is i [TS]

00:24:58 ◼   ► cannot i cannot store things that matter [TS]

00:25:00 ◼   ► on my phone I have to I have to go back [TS]

00:25:02 ◼   ► and start making it your credit card I [TS]

00:25:04 ◼   ► think you're really describing that kind [TS]

00:25:07 ◼   ► of desolate existential feeling is is a [TS]

00:25:11 ◼   ► pretty good depiction of what a lot of [TS]

00:25:12 ◼   ► users feel like right now because the [TS]

00:25:15 ◼   ► thing is you know you and I both know [TS]

00:25:16 ◼   ► there is a reason for everything there's [TS]

00:25:19 ◼   ► a solution for everything [TS]

00:25:21 ◼   ► so you might get a whole bunch of email [TS]

00:25:22 ◼   ► after this from people going oh you can [TS]

00:25:24 ◼   ► get a little adapter for your old [TS]

00:25:26 ◼   ► charger you could always just you know [TS]

00:25:28 ◼   ► update your laminated card you can do [TS]

00:25:30 ◼   ► this you can do that you that but that's [TS]

00:25:31 ◼   ► not the point the point is that and and [TS]

00:25:34 ◼   ► this is I think where it gets tricky is [TS]

00:25:35 ◼   ► it if if you are a person like me and I [TS]

00:25:38 ◼   ► think yeah obviously to an extent like [TS]

00:25:39 ◼   ► you you have agreed to use that device [TS]

00:25:43 ◼   ► in exactly the way this company has [TS]

00:25:45 ◼   ► begged you to use it right you are not [TS]

00:25:48 ◼   ► doing anything [TS]

00:25:49 ◼   ► unconventional you are doing something [TS]

00:25:50 ◼   ► extremely conventional which is they [TS]

00:25:53 ◼   ► would like you to use that as the center [TS]

00:25:56 ◼   ► of your digital world which is [TS]

00:25:58 ◼   ► increasingly your world so that you did [TS]

00:26:01 ◼   ► exactly what you're supposed to do [TS]

00:26:02 ◼   ► that's the troubling part is that [TS]

00:26:04 ◼   ► there's nothing I have done to my phone [TS]

00:26:07 ◼   ► the reason nothing I even if I wanted to [TS]

00:26:09 ◼   ► I don't even know how to jailbreak my [TS]

00:26:11 ◼   ► phone I could figure it out but the [TS]

00:26:12 ◼   ► point is I i bought this phone whatever [TS]

00:26:14 ◼   ► last summer fall whenever the 55 s came [TS]

00:26:19 ◼   ► out and its it crashed three times a [TS]

00:26:22 ◼   ► week [TS]

00:26:23 ◼   ► it's not is it pink did you get it no [TS]

00:26:24 ◼   ► that's the c-4 color sorry i got the [TS]

00:26:27 ◼   ► fancy one because gold did you get the [TS]

00:26:30 ◼   ► gold one I did not I i got the least i [TS]

00:26:32 ◼   ► don't know i think it's kind of a thing [TS]

00:26:34 ◼   ► in the and apple nerd world to have like [TS]

00:26:35 ◼   ► the the most low-key thing you can with [TS]

00:26:37 ◼   ► no case that's what I have a low-key [TS]

00:26:39 ◼   ► phone with no case but but anyway I [TS]

00:26:42 ◼   ► think what's with the bummer about what [TS]

00:26:44 ◼   ► you're describing is like anybody out [TS]

00:26:46 ◼   ► there it's like you know I remember when [TS]

00:26:47 ◼   ► our neighbors our next door neighbors [TS]

00:26:48 ◼   ► got burglarized burglarized corrupt [TS]

00:26:51 ◼   ► world when i was there and i was when i [TS]

00:26:53 ◼   ► was maybe 14 and I remember having this [TS]

00:26:55 ◼   ► very strong feeling this impulse that [TS]

00:26:57 ◼   ► everybody else on the block at which we [TS]

00:26:59 ◼   ► stood outside while the police were [TS]

00:27:00 ◼   ► there will whisper to each other about [TS]

00:27:01 ◼   ► what they had done wrong [TS]

00:27:02 ◼   ► oh wow don't you think I'm going left [TS]

00:27:05 ◼   ► the window [TS]

00:27:06 ◼   ► yeah they really should have had they [TS]

00:27:07 ◼   ► should have the porch light on they [TS]

00:27:09 ◼   ► should've gotten better Windows you know [TS]

00:27:11 ◼   ► that it and you come up with the [TS]

00:27:12 ◼   ► whistling past the graveyard for all [TS]

00:27:13 ◼   ► these reasons why somebody else it's [TS]

00:27:15 ◼   ► like you know Shirley Jackson's the [TS]

00:27:17 ◼   ► lottery like why that person get picked [TS]

00:27:18 ◼   ► when I got picked as that's that's how [TS]

00:27:20 ◼   ► the lottery works [TS]

00:27:21 ◼   ► that's right and [TS]

00:27:21 ◼   ► and you come up with all these reasons [TS]

00:27:23 ◼   ► so anybody out there is listening to [TS]

00:27:24 ◼   ► this could be very unsympathetic because [TS]

00:27:26 ◼   ► their thing works today but the thing is [TS]

00:27:28 ◼   ► that the part about it that I I feel [TS]

00:27:32 ◼   ► thank you [TS]

00:27:33 ◼   ► I understand I understand that there are [TS]

00:27:37 ◼   ► way I know I could probably take it to [TS]

00:27:39 ◼   ► the apple genius and have them give me a [TS]

00:27:41 ◼   ► new phone and there's only one is apple [TS]

00:27:44 ◼   ► genius is going to tell me that one time [TS]

00:27:45 ◼   ► I had the phone in the bathroom with me [TS]

00:27:47 ◼   ► while i was showering and the chili [TS]

00:27:49 ◼   ► chili sensor went off [TS]

00:27:51 ◼   ► that's right the amount of water that [TS]

00:27:53 ◼   ► somehow got in there is enough to but [TS]

00:27:56 ◼   ► you know what i mean in other words it's [TS]

00:27:57 ◼   ► that we sound crazy when want one sounds [TS]

00:28:00 ◼   ► crazy in this situation because you're [TS]

00:28:02 ◼   ► contaminating all these different [TS]

00:28:03 ◼   ► frustrations that all have a perfectly [TS]

00:28:05 ◼   ► valid reason for being the way that they [TS]

00:28:07 ◼   ► are you know physics is complicated [TS]

00:28:09 ◼   ► engineering is hard i understand all [TS]

00:28:10 ◼   ► these things it's just that i finally [TS]

00:28:12 ◼   ► finally got to a point where I was ok [TS]

00:28:13 ◼   ► entrusting things like in this case what [TS]

00:28:16 ◼   ► you get your calendar [TS]

00:28:17 ◼   ► you got your communication device you [TS]

00:28:19 ◼   ► know all the ways we communicate with [TS]

00:28:20 ◼   ► other people on the go [TS]

00:28:22 ◼   ► I have entrusted to that thing and when [TS]

00:28:23 ◼   ► it does what happened with you we do [TS]

00:28:25 ◼   ► this do the troll ends up yelling at us [TS]

00:28:27 ◼   ► like what what did we do wrong in that [TS]

00:28:30 ◼   ► case [TS]

00:28:30 ◼   ► well in particular when you know the [TS]

00:28:32 ◼   ► Seattle is a microsoft town and so there [TS]

00:28:34 ◼   ► are a lot of people walking around now [TS]

00:28:37 ◼   ► with these these phones that are the [TS]

00:28:42 ◼   ► size of a of like a terabyte of look [TS]

00:28:48 ◼   ► like hard drive if you see phones i [TS]

00:28:50 ◼   ► think if you see phones or phablets as [TS]

00:28:53 ◼   ► we like to come if you see giant ass [TS]

00:28:55 ◼   ► phones that look like something a [TS]

00:28:57 ◼   ► cocktail waitress would use it's [TS]

00:28:59 ◼   ► probably a samsung running Android yeah [TS]

00:29:01 ◼   ► right it looks like something that you [TS]

00:29:02 ◼   ► would be handed at a museum to walk [TS]

00:29:05 ◼   ► around and get a guided tour of the art [TS]

00:29:08 ◼   ► or the paddleboat it's the size of a [TS]

00:29:10 ◼   ► vintage distortion box samsung big muff [TS]

00:29:17 ◼   ► yeah exactly it's the super funds [TS]

00:29:19 ◼   ► samsung and it uh it you know it glows [TS]

00:29:23 ◼   ► with this like almost television like [TS]

00:29:26 ◼   ► glow [TS]

00:29:27 ◼   ► yeah and so people are manipulating [TS]

00:29:29 ◼   ► these things in public places and it's [TS]

00:29:31 ◼   ► this giant like wow it's very impressive [TS]

00:29:35 ◼   ► just to see kind of out of the corner of [TS]

00:29:37 ◼   ► your on it is it does feel like the [TS]

00:29:38 ◼   ► future I'd like to thank the lady at the [TS]

00:29:39 ◼   ► muppet movie history for illuminating [TS]

00:29:41 ◼   ► the entire fucking theater while she [TS]

00:29:43 ◼   ► looked at her facebook for the first 20 [TS]

00:29:45 ◼   ► minutes in the movie uh I just want you [TS]

00:29:47 ◼   ► know that those are so much rightness [TS]

00:29:49 ◼   ► John I want to carry around a completely [TS]

00:29:52 ◼   ► operable fire hose with like a giant [TS]

00:29:56 ◼   ► fire truck outside full of water when I [TS]

00:29:58 ◼   ► could just like shit somebody like me [TS]

00:30:01 ◼   ► like that with just a just like a riot [TS]

00:30:03 ◼   ► control level of fire you think fire [TS]

00:30:06 ◼   ► engine stops working at thirty percent [TS]

00:30:07 ◼   ► power LOL no sirens going to talk about [TS]

00:30:10 ◼   ► the fire [TS]

00:30:11 ◼   ► sorry about the fire it but we have to [TS]

00:30:13 ◼   ► fix in the next month or so you know [TS]

00:30:15 ◼   ► what I mean that 777 flew all the way [TS]

00:30:17 ◼   ► down into the Indian Ocean because it [TS]

00:30:19 ◼   ► still had some gas i'm going to have [TS]

00:30:21 ◼   ► been kind of avoiding that but I do one [TS]

00:30:22 ◼   ► fact about everybody on the plane was [TS]

00:30:24 ◼   ► probably dead for hours but the plane [TS]

00:30:27 ◼   ► keeps flying probably put a little bit [TS]

00:30:29 ◼   ► of sriracha on this rice my wife and I [TS]

00:30:32 ◼   ► employ we have for a long time you know [TS]

00:30:34 ◼   ► when you got a person you got a kid you [TS]

00:30:36 ◼   ► got stuff really like to know where each [TS]

00:30:37 ◼   ► other are it's it's it's kinda creepy [TS]

00:30:40 ◼   ► but kind of cool and there's an apple as [TS]

00:30:42 ◼   ► an app on the iphone you can use where [TS]

00:30:44 ◼   ► you can allow people to see your [TS]

00:30:45 ◼   ► location and you can allow them to see [TS]

00:30:47 ◼   ► yours in theory it works really well so [TS]

00:30:50 ◼   ► you don't have to constantly how's it [TS]

00:30:51 ◼   ► going are you almost home right you can [TS]

00:30:53 ◼   ► see I can watch my wife on the bus like [TS]

00:30:54 ◼   ► you know going through the mission i can [TS]

00:30:56 ◼   ► see and so that's great and we have [TS]

00:30:58 ◼   ► consented to do that and you know we [TS]

00:31:01 ◼   ► kind of both said to each other hey if [TS]

00:31:02 ◼   ► you ever just want to disappear that's [TS]

00:31:03 ◼   ► fine but at the same time knowing what [TS]

00:31:06 ◼   ► happens with my wife's phone I I don't [TS]

00:31:08 ◼   ► compulsive about it but i'll go like oh [TS]

00:31:10 ◼   ► she's still in her after her exercise [TS]

00:31:12 ◼   ► class could i get home and do the dishes [TS]

00:31:13 ◼   ► before she gets her or whatever and and [TS]

00:31:15 ◼   ► the thing is though what happens with [TS]

00:31:18 ◼   ► your phone dies in that case when her [TS]

00:31:20 ◼   ► phone dies she's no longer seeable one [TS]

00:31:25 ◼   ► ok so that's important now I've relied [TS]

00:31:27 ◼   ► on this as a way to know where my wife [TS]

00:31:28 ◼   ► is [TS]

00:31:29 ◼   ► maybe bad on me because I'm a dummy the [TS]

00:31:31 ◼   ► point is that think about the cascade of [TS]

00:31:32 ◼   ► events when that happens my wife was [TS]

00:31:34 ◼   ► running home through the mission and [TS]

00:31:38 ◼   ► suddenly her location is not available [TS]

00:31:41 ◼   ► now I know I know that's probably [TS]

00:31:43 ◼   ► because her phone sucks [TS]

00:31:45 ◼   ► oh no this is the beginning of a Liam [TS]

00:31:47 ◼   ► Neeson milk [TS]

00:31:48 ◼   ► movie this is the taken that right i [TS]

00:31:50 ◼   ► think that is that a good movie [TS]

00:31:51 ◼   ► no I got I've never seen it but I can't [TS]

00:31:53 ◼   ► imagine it's good that he has to be [TS]

00:31:55 ◼   ► terrible but you know if you're like me [TS]

00:31:57 ◼   ► you always assume the worst conceivable [TS]

00:31:58 ◼   ► thing has always happened [TS]

00:32:00 ◼   ► absolutely some always a sandal man has [TS]

00:32:02 ◼   ► pulled up right that she's already [TS]

00:32:04 ◼   ► probably like making phones in in China [TS]

00:32:07 ◼   ► has been bundled off she's crossing [TS]

00:32:09 ◼   ► she's crossing in the Tijuana in a [TS]

00:32:11 ◼   ► 50-gallon drum she's gonna she's gonna [TS]

00:32:14 ◼   ► play in a mariachi band for a drug lord [TS]

00:32:16 ◼   ► and but you know you got any way not to [TS]

00:32:19 ◼   ► belabor it but I mean you start to rely [TS]

00:32:20 ◼   ► on that just kind of go clip and if you [TS]

00:32:22 ◼   ► see like oh you know this person has [TS]

00:32:24 ◼   ► moved in a while or whatever in this [TS]

00:32:25 ◼   ► case now I also because her phone died i [TS]

00:32:28 ◼   ► have no way to contact her so that [TS]

00:32:30 ◼   ► anxiety multiplies for me and I maybe [TS]

00:32:33 ◼   ► that's silly you know that's not me of [TS]

00:32:35 ◼   ► course she gets home you know 45 minutes [TS]

00:32:37 ◼   ► later on my phone died [TS]

00:32:38 ◼   ► no I don't think it is dumb and I did [TS]

00:32:39 ◼   ► you know without getting too [TS]

00:32:41 ◼   ► conspiratorial the fact that we are now [TS]

00:32:43 ◼   ► like living in a state of well in a [TS]

00:32:48 ◼   ► state of constant anxiety is not bad for [TS]

00:32:53 ◼   ► our corporate overlords right and then [TS]

00:32:56 ◼   ► this is the this is the moment where we [TS]

00:32:58 ◼   ► veer off into the social your legs [TS]

00:33:00 ◼   ► you're drinking emotional saltwater that [TS]

00:33:02 ◼   ► like every other figures the oh yeah I [TS]

00:33:04 ◼   ► can understand why you're upset here's [TS]

00:33:05 ◼   ► the fix for that [TS]

00:33:06 ◼   ► Yeah right right and that's the and [TS]

00:33:08 ◼   ► that's that that's the tech response but [TS]

00:33:10 ◼   ► the tech response is always yeah it's [TS]

00:33:12 ◼   ► always like oh by a nap or by a by an [TS]

00:33:14 ◼   ► additional battery pack or by a adapter [TS]

00:33:17 ◼   ► or wait six months and will mostly kind [TS]

00:33:19 ◼   ► of fix this problem but but in fact i am [TS]

00:33:23 ◼   ► now I have a as a fully grown adult I [TS]

00:33:26 ◼   ► now him tethered to a thing and this was [TS]

00:33:29 ◼   ► this was my complaint when I wouldn't [TS]

00:33:32 ◼   ► know when the Walkman first came out in [TS]

00:33:34 ◼   ► 1980 and I am I know you remember this [TS]

00:33:38 ◼   ► moment you the Walkman arrived on the [TS]

00:33:41 ◼   ► scene and at first it was inconceivable [TS]

00:33:45 ◼   ► that that of that much technology the [TS]

00:33:47 ◼   ► entire technology of a stereo system had [TS]

00:33:51 ◼   ► been reduced to the size of a paperback [TS]

00:33:53 ◼   ► book [TS]

00:33:54 ◼   ► difference for what you were coming like [TS]

00:33:56 ◼   ► custom like what you would think you [TS]

00:33:57 ◼   ► would pay for a crappy stereo you could [TS]

00:34:00 ◼   ► now have on your belt you can wear it on [TS]

00:34:02 ◼   ► your goddamn belt [TS]

00:34:04 ◼   ► listen to anything you want anytime you [TS]

00:34:05 ◼   ► want any time you wanted and all around [TS]

00:34:08 ◼   ► the city of Anchorage all the like all [TS]

00:34:13 ◼   ► the cool kids had Walkmans instantly and [TS]

00:34:17 ◼   ► I remember like being just in all of [TS]

00:34:23 ◼   ► this new capability and everyone was I [TS]

00:34:27 ◼   ► mean the entire world was just like you [TS]

00:34:30 ◼   ► mean I can just walk around listening to [TS]

00:34:33 ◼   ► my tapes and so I couldn't afford a [TS]

00:34:36 ◼   ► Walkman because it was a hundred bucks [TS]

00:34:39 ◼   ► or something which was a lot of money [TS]

00:34:40 ◼   ► even though it wasn't that much money [TS]

00:34:43 ◼   ► you know it was and I don't even think [TS]

00:34:45 ◼   ► it was a hundred bucks but it whatever [TS]

00:34:46 ◼   ► amount it was it was more than I was [TS]

00:34:48 ◼   ► prepared to spend it is what it is [TS]

00:34:49 ◼   ► definitely out of my reach [TS]

00:34:51 ◼   ► but I was at a i was actually at the [TS]

00:34:53 ◼   ► arcade playing elevator action one [TS]

00:34:57 ◼   ► afternoon I guess this is probably a pre [TS]

00:34:59 ◼   ► elevator action but i was at the [TS]

00:35:01 ◼   ► videogame arcade and I walked past a [TS]

00:35:05 ◼   ► store and they had a knockoff Walkman [TS]

00:35:07 ◼   ► for sale that act that included in [TS]

00:35:11 ◼   ► addition to a tape machine an am/fm [TS]

00:35:13 ◼   ► radio which really appealed to me [TS]

00:35:17 ◼   ► because of course you could be listening [TS]

00:35:19 ◼   ► to you could be it in the event of an [TS]

00:35:23 ◼   ► emergency you could you can tune to the [TS]

00:35:25 ◼   ► to the emergency Channel and and so and [TS]

00:35:29 ◼   ► you know if you get tired of your tapes [TS]

00:35:31 ◼   ► or whatever you can listen to the f MK [TS]

00:35:33 ◼   ► well 17.7 WHL okay well [TS]

00:35:37 ◼   ► and so I and that anything was it was [TS]

00:35:41 ◼   ► like it was fifteen or twenty dollars [TS]

00:35:44 ◼   ► new in the window of this place with and [TS]

00:35:47 ◼   ► for whatever reason at that point I had [TS]

00:35:49 ◼   ► that much money in my little velcro [TS]

00:35:52 ◼   ► wallet and I walked into this place in [TS]

00:35:54 ◼   ► that I was so astonished as I hand the [TS]

00:35:58 ◼   ► money over and they handed me this new [TS]

00:36:00 ◼   ► product that I i was making this adult [TS]

00:36:04 ◼   ► transaction I was buying into the future [TS]

00:36:07 ◼   ► right now that this technology was so [TS]

00:36:10 ◼   ► transformative and it had already gone [TS]

00:36:15 ◼   ► through the Maslow's seven stages of [TS]

00:36:17 ◼   ► technology and it was now but there was [TS]

00:36:20 ◼   ► a cheaper knockoff that was better [TS]

00:36:22 ◼   ► it was happening so fast i bought this [TS]

00:36:24 ◼   ► thing and I you know I I didn't have a [TS]

00:36:28 ◼   ► tape with me but I had the radio and i [TS]

00:36:31 ◼   ► put it I look I clipped it on my belt [TS]

00:36:33 ◼   ► like you were supposed to do but the [TS]

00:36:35 ◼   ► headphones on i'm walking down the [TS]

00:36:36 ◼   ► street listening to the radio and it's [TS]

00:36:38 ◼   ► like my black-and-white world went into [TS]

00:36:41 ◼   ► Technicolor yeah I'm listening to music [TS]

00:36:44 ◼   ► as i'm walking down the street [TS]

00:36:47 ◼   ► hello are you ready for the future [TS]

00:36:50 ◼   ► hands-free you're not holding a radio [TS]

00:36:51 ◼   ► i'm not i'm just walking like arm [TS]

00:36:53 ◼   ► swinging and I'm listening to a Uriah [TS]

00:36:57 ◼   ► Heep and it's and and I had never had my [TS]

00:37:02 ◼   ► own life soundtrack before and now I'm [TS]

00:37:06 ◼   ► realizing that I am living a dramatic [TS]

00:37:09 ◼   ► life to like my my progress walking down [TS]

00:37:13 ◼   ► fireweed boulevard in Anchorage is now [TS]

00:37:15 ◼   ► cinematic because as I jump off the you [TS]

00:37:20 ◼   ► know as I jump off this but the sidewalk [TS]

00:37:22 ◼   ► into the street into the muddy Street I [TS]

00:37:25 ◼   ► have a big guitar part to emphasize it [TS]

00:37:29 ◼   ► and I was so thrilled and for a week or [TS]

00:37:34 ◼   ► whatever I walked around with this thing [TS]

00:37:35 ◼   ► just like it never got old it was [TS]

00:37:38 ◼   ► tremendous and then the batteries died [TS]

00:37:43 ◼   ► and I was like whatever it costs and [TS]

00:37:47 ◼   ► went to the grocery store and I realized [TS]

00:37:52 ◼   ► what batteries cost which at the time [TS]

00:37:55 ◼   ► was just as they are now pretty [TS]

00:38:00 ◼   ► exhibited relative to the cost of the [TS]

00:38:02 ◼   ► device itself and if you're if you're [TS]

00:38:04 ◼   ► using that thing and fast forwarding and [TS]

00:38:06 ◼   ► rewinding you should really go through [TS]

00:38:08 ◼   ► well that's the thing so i started using [TS]

00:38:09 ◼   ► tapes instead of once i got home i [TS]

00:38:11 ◼   ► started using tips instead of instead of [TS]

00:38:14 ◼   ► a listen to the radio and i think i've [TS]

00:38:16 ◼   ► run out of batteries and replace them [TS]

00:38:18 ◼   ► with some batteries we had in the house [TS]

00:38:19 ◼   ► and had run through those batteries and [TS]

00:38:22 ◼   ► now I was responsible for buying my own [TS]

00:38:24 ◼   ► batteries to put into the Machine and [TS]

00:38:26 ◼   ► when I saw the price of batteries and I [TS]

00:38:28 ◼   ► reflected on how quickly i had run [TS]

00:38:31 ◼   ► through two sets of batteries [TS]

00:38:33 ◼   ► I realized oh my god this technology is [TS]

00:38:39 ◼   ► so this is basically just a battery [TS]

00:38:43 ◼   ► using device the reason to put reason [TS]

00:38:46 ◼   ► that this thing was $14 twenties like [TS]

00:38:49 ◼   ► it's a cipher yeah this was this is a [TS]

00:38:52 ◼   ► loss leader for battery companies and [TS]

00:38:56 ◼   ► I'm sure that whatever the company is [TS]

00:38:58 ◼   ► that made this machine for so cheap that [TS]

00:39:02 ◼   ► it's just a front company for ever ready [TS]

00:39:06 ◼   ► I don't know if they still make every [TS]

00:39:09 ◼   ► batteries but as look at all right a [TS]

00:39:13 ◼   ► little black cat like the cat but uh but [TS]

00:39:16 ◼   ► i think i might have I might have that [TS]

00:39:18 ◼   ► in that moment still been so in raptured [TS]

00:39:21 ◼   ► by this technology that I was like I [TS]

00:39:23 ◼   ► will buy these but i will buy five [TS]

00:39:25 ◼   ► dollars with the batteries for my $15 [TS]

00:39:27 ◼   ► tape machine and by the time those [TS]

00:39:30 ◼   ► batteries ran out again I the the [TS]

00:39:35 ◼   ► feeling of betrayal or the feeling of [TS]

00:39:37 ◼   ► having been roped in to a kind of thing [TS]

00:39:41 ◼   ► where they are giving me this wonderful [TS]

00:39:43 ◼   ► experience and all i need to do is is [TS]

00:39:48 ◼   ► just start directing [TS]

00:39:50 ◼   ► a constant stream of my resources to [TS]

00:39:54 ◼   ► ward them and they will just pirate my [TS]

00:39:56 ◼   ► resources and in return they will give [TS]

00:39:59 ◼   ► me this this like drug-like [TS]

00:40:02 ◼   ► transformation that I can have music [TS]

00:40:04 ◼   ► with me all the time and realizing that [TS]

00:40:08 ◼   ► realizing that that was the that was the [TS]

00:40:11 ◼   ► transaction and that if I if I mentally [TS]

00:40:16 ◼   ► acquiesced to this that I was I had [TS]

00:40:20 ◼   ► basically handcuffed myself to you know [TS]

00:40:25 ◼   ► not just to the device but to the whole [TS]

00:40:27 ◼   ► support system and I would never be free [TS]

00:40:31 ◼   ► and i put my Walkman on the shelf [TS]

00:40:35 ◼   ► I put my dead battery walking on the [TS]

00:40:37 ◼   ► shelf and I was like I can live without [TS]

00:40:39 ◼   ► that I can live without it because i [TS]

00:40:42 ◼   ► can't because it is to the degree to [TS]

00:40:45 ◼   ► which I am like mourning the loss of us [TS]

00:40:49 ◼   ► a constant soundtrack i cannot sell my [TS]

00:40:54 ◼   ► soul that cheaply and I feel that I have [TS]

00:40:59 ◼   ► felt that way about every new technology [TS]

00:41:02 ◼   ► just as just as I and it took me many [TS]

00:41:05 ◼   ► years to retro actively connect my [TS]

00:41:08 ◼   ► experience as a drug user to that [TS]

00:41:10 ◼   ► experience of just like yes the drug [TS]

00:41:13 ◼   ► does this amazing thing but you are hand [TS]

00:41:18 ◼   ► cutting yourself to it and to the unit [TS]

00:41:22 ◼   ► to the that whole complex relationship [TS]

00:41:25 ◼   ► of like these are my resources i am [TS]

00:41:27 ◼   ► giving away in order to have this and [TS]

00:41:31 ◼   ► the and the trade is never worth it but [TS]

00:41:34 ◼   ► now at 45 years old they finally got me [TS]

00:41:37 ◼   ► with this goddamn phone and I am [TS]

00:41:40 ◼   ► 100-percent tied now to this to this [TS]

00:41:43 ◼   ► machine and all the support network and [TS]

00:41:47 ◼   ► all of that you know in the end the [TS]

00:41:49 ◼   ► promise I remember sitting in your [TS]

00:41:52 ◼   ► kitchen and you describing for me that [TS]

00:41:58 ◼   ► right over the horizon there was gonna [TS]

00:42:01 ◼   ► be a time when your phone and your [TS]

00:42:04 ◼   ► computer or synced & that if you end [TS]

00:42:09 ◼   ► their calendar on your computer and your [TS]

00:42:11 ◼   ► photographs and all the things that were [TS]

00:42:13 ◼   ► on your computer were also going to be [TS]

00:42:15 ◼   ► on your phone and they would talk to [TS]

00:42:16 ◼   ► each other and I was like what you know [TS]

00:42:20 ◼   ► this is back when phones had two sides [TS]

00:42:24 ◼   ► and even in that particular dream would [TS]

00:42:28 ◼   ► involve like lots of cables and [TS]

00:42:30 ◼   ► third-party software but still you could [TS]

00:42:33 ◼   ► even conceptually take the world of your [TS]

00:42:35 ◼   ► desk and and bring it with you when you [TS]

00:42:38 ◼   ► go somewhere like on a trip was [TS]

00:42:40 ◼   ► completely mind-boggling [TS]

00:42:41 ◼   ► yeah and you were you were describing [TS]

00:42:43 ◼   ► and you were like this is this is not a [TS]

00:42:45 ◼   ► fantasy [TS]

00:42:46 ◼   ► this is happening and I was just like [TS]

00:42:49 ◼   ► and i think i spent a year or two then [TS]

00:42:52 ◼   ► like I'm not going to upgrade my phone [TS]

00:42:54 ◼   ► i'm going to wait until the phone comes [TS]

00:42:56 ◼   ► out that can talk to my computer but [TS]

00:43:00 ◼   ► with every step of this you know this [TS]

00:43:02 ◼   ► tying together of things it's just like [TS]

00:43:04 ◼   ► well now i need to upgrade my other [TS]

00:43:06 ◼   ► thing and now i need to buy the other [TS]

00:43:08 ◼   ► upgrade and now i'm just like the [TS]

00:43:12 ◼   ► octopus of of the octopus of like half [TS]

00:43:18 ◼   ► agreed to up end user agreements who you [TS]

00:43:24 ◼   ► know unread and user agreements is just [TS]

00:43:27 ◼   ► is just slowly it's like that it's just [TS]

00:43:30 ◼   ► like it's like a creeping vine that is [TS]

00:43:32 ◼   ► slowly squeezing the life out of me [TS]

00:43:35 ◼   ► it was only a few hundred dollars to get [TS]

00:43:38 ◼   ► started a kid cervix so right it's all a [TS]

00:43:41 ◼   ► loss leader and I feel like now it's not [TS]

00:43:43 ◼   ► the battery companies it's a loss leader [TS]

00:43:45 ◼   ► for the Illuminati haha ah man I had a I [TS]

00:44:01 ◼   ► used to try and read the agreements [TS]

00:44:03 ◼   ► no well you know there's a time when [TS]

00:44:05 ◼   ► they were little more you know modest [TS]

00:44:07 ◼   ► and coming up and a booklet you can flip [TS]

00:44:08 ◼   ► through into the headings on my little [TS]

00:44:11 ◼   ► love set-top box of a set-top box called [TS]

00:44:14 ◼   ► a roku which is like an apple TV and [TS]

00:44:16 ◼   ► there was some kind of an update in the [TS]

00:44:19 ◼   ► software and I&I it's like you know it's [TS]

00:44:21 ◼   ► going to change in the terms you read [TS]

00:44:24 ◼   ► this and click to agree and of course [TS]

00:44:26 ◼   ► they conveniently have a i have read and [TS]

00:44:28 ◼   ► great deal is right there yeah yeah but [TS]

00:44:31 ◼   ► then I noticed it was the weather was on [TS]

00:44:32 ◼   ► screen was page screen one of I think [TS]

00:44:35 ◼   ► was a hundred and six I would have had [TS]

00:44:38 ◼   ► to read 106 screens to read the entire [TS]

00:44:41 ◼   ► agreement let me just ah I got my [TS]

00:44:43 ◼   ► redline version here to question what [TS]

00:44:47 ◼   ► force medjool before I agree to live a [TS]

00:44:52 ◼   ► lot of the target somebody from tech [TS]

00:44:54 ◼   ► support [TS]

00:44:55 ◼   ► what if you had a chance to look at my [TS]

00:44:56 ◼   ► corrections oh no no no no really it [TS]

00:45:00 ◼   ► it's like it's like our are you ready to [TS]

00:45:02 ◼   ► put your hand into machine yes or no [TS]

00:45:03 ◼   ► that's exactly right are you ready to [TS]

00:45:05 ◼   ► put your hand into the stump and if you [TS]

00:45:10 ◼   ► put your hand in and pull it back out [TS]

00:45:12 ◼   ► and cover with the data and if you have [TS]

00:45:16 ◼   ► not if it's things you then then I guess [TS]

00:45:20 ◼   ► you die and then yeah then your that you [TS]

00:45:23 ◼   ► don't you don't join the clan of the [TS]

00:45:25 ◼   ► Birdman [TS]

00:45:27 ◼   ► Merlin what can I say no I know I know [TS]

00:45:36 ◼   ► and you know that here's the thing is if [TS]

00:45:39 ◼   ► it were like let's say for example this [TS]

00:45:43 ◼   ► will not be a huge amount to you because [TS]

00:45:44 ◼   ► you weren't into this stuff then but [TS]

00:45:46 ◼   ► feel that this one 1999 in 1999 there [TS]

00:45:49 ◼   ► were all these layers of hacks that [TS]

00:45:51 ◼   ► enabled certain interesting things to [TS]

00:45:52 ◼   ► happen like in 1999 you could have a [TS]

00:45:55 ◼   ► modem at your house that would let you [TS]

00:45:57 ◼   ► use your telephone system to get on the [TS]

00:46:01 ◼   ► internet which is pretty hockey but it [TS]

00:46:03 ◼   ► worked I mean think about it I mean [TS]

00:46:04 ◼   ► that's a pretty unconventional thing to [TS]

00:46:06 ◼   ► do in a home the kind of thing where 10 [TS]

00:46:08 ◼   ► years earlier you would have sounded [TS]

00:46:09 ◼   ► like the weirdest person in the world to [TS]

00:46:11 ◼   ► say no i'm sorry i can't take calls for [TS]

00:46:14 ◼   ► hours a day because i'm using this [TS]

00:46:15 ◼   ► device to have a computer connect to a [TS]

00:46:17 ◼   ► network with us so strange she would [TS]

00:46:19 ◼   ► somebody would seem like a guy that had [TS]

00:46:20 ◼   ► a us a dandy sweatshirt and so but that [TS]

00:46:26 ◼   ► was a hack and that worked i think about [TS]

00:46:28 ◼   ► stuff like the mp3 devices you know for [TS]

00:46:31 ◼   ► listening like to mp3's and it was a [TS]

00:46:33 ◼   ► pretty great thing that you know you [TS]

00:46:35 ◼   ► could have together this system for [TS]

00:46:37 ◼   ► getting your cds into mp3's and if [TS]

00:46:40 ◼   ► you're a little more gray hat you can go [TS]

00:46:42 ◼   ► get them for free off of the internet [TS]

00:46:44 ◼   ► and you can connect this wire up and he [TS]

00:46:46 ◼   ► had this extra software you be able to [TS]

00:46:47 ◼   ► connect into this but it was really like [TS]

00:46:49 ◼   ► a series of hacks so I really felt like [TS]

00:46:50 ◼   ► all on when that all worked and you can [TS]

00:46:52 ◼   ► even take that a few years forward to [TS]

00:46:54 ◼   ► the early days of like PDA sinking where [TS]

00:46:56 ◼   ► you know anytime I wanted to sing my [TS]

00:46:57 ◼   ► palm pilot with my Mac put in the cradle [TS]

00:47:00 ◼   ► you had to do this there's all kinds of [TS]

00:47:02 ◼   ► stuff as you know over the years even as [TS]

00:47:03 ◼   ► a recent mac user you know that his [TS]

00:47:05 ◼   ► computer users constant stuff we gotta [TS]

00:47:06 ◼   ► go I probably go delete this violence [TS]

00:47:08 ◼   ► try it again that kind of thing happens [TS]

00:47:09 ◼   ► and you live with that right because you [TS]

00:47:11 ◼   ► like okay this is something where like [TS]

00:47:12 ◼   ► this really kind of feels this is a [TS]

00:47:14 ◼   ► little magical but I'm able to do this [TS]

00:47:16 ◼   ► i'll put up with them some stuff to do [TS]

00:47:18 ◼   ► it and so anyway we're trying to get is [TS]

00:47:20 ◼   ► that the irony is that like back then [TS]

00:47:22 ◼   ► when stuff didn't work right or you [TS]

00:47:23 ◼   ► ended up with five copies of the same [TS]

00:47:24 ◼   ► contact you kind of write it down to the [TS]

00:47:27 ◼   ► happiness of it and saying like well you [TS]

00:47:30 ◼   ► know this this they really developed [TS]

00:47:33 ◼   ► this system for windows first and [TS]

00:47:34 ◼   ► there's this wackadoodle third-party [TS]

00:47:36 ◼   ► software they put together so it even [TS]

00:47:37 ◼   ► works at all on a mac so I should just [TS]

00:47:39 ◼   ► be grateful [TS]

00:47:40 ◼   ► yeah it's still bicycle [TS]

00:47:41 ◼   ► Howard yeah and I i really don't i'm not [TS]

00:47:43 ◼   ► i don't mean this as like a huge [TS]

00:47:45 ◼   ► indictment but it is a statement of fact [TS]

00:47:48 ◼   ► that I think lines up with what you're [TS]

00:47:50 ◼   ► saying which is it is weird that we've [TS]

00:47:52 ◼   ► gotten to a point where we've gotten ok [TS]

00:47:55 ◼   ► with pouring really well I know like [TS]

00:47:58 ◼   ► compared to a Walkman it's pretty [TS]

00:47:59 ◼   ► amazing what you can do with an iphone [TS]

00:48:01 ◼   ► but still they're not cheap to go out [TS]

00:48:02 ◼   ► and buy these devices it's not cheap to [TS]

00:48:04 ◼   ► buy apps for them in my case it has not [TS]

00:48:06 ◼   ► been cheap to go to go cock deep in the [TS]

00:48:09 ◼   ► act Apple ecosystem for things like I've [TS]

00:48:11 ◼   ► bought over a hundred movies on itunes [TS]

00:48:13 ◼   ► and I couldn't watch on those devices [TS]

00:48:15 ◼   ► isn't it well yeah I can also download [TS]

00:48:18 ◼   ► and do magic with them that's a little [TS]

00:48:19 ◼   ► bit grey hat but you know the point is I [TS]

00:48:22 ◼   ► i have gotten into that because it is [TS]

00:48:24 ◼   ► trying to say is it used to be that you [TS]

00:48:26 ◼   ► had to be a hobbyist in order to make [TS]

00:48:30 ◼   ► any of that stuff works the same way [TS]

00:48:31 ◼   ► that if you wanted a nice high five and [TS]

00:48:33 ◼   ► the fifties you have to be willing to go [TS]

00:48:35 ◼   ► get a kit and put it together right you [TS]

00:48:36 ◼   ► wanted to have a home computer [TS]

00:48:37 ◼   ► quote-unquote in the seventies for a [TS]

00:48:40 ◼   ► long time you would have to go as a [TS]

00:48:41 ◼   ► hobbyist and go make that thing yourself [TS]

00:48:42 ◼   ► and so you learned a lot about it maybe [TS]

00:48:45 ◼   ► you're not like an IBM engineer but you [TS]

00:48:46 ◼   ► could put it together you know i bet [TS]

00:48:48 ◼   ► your mom could have put together a [TS]

00:48:49 ◼   ► computer pretty good in there in the [TS]

00:48:51 ◼   ► early to mid seventies for you but you [TS]

00:48:53 ◼   ► know the but i'm getting to the obvious [TS]

00:48:55 ◼   ► irony here which is that there's one [TS]

00:48:57 ◼   ► company is putting all of that that's [TS]

00:48:59 ◼   ► organizing all of that and integrating [TS]

00:49:01 ◼   ► all that force and for for the last for [TS]

00:49:04 ◼   ► like for like five or six years it [TS]

00:49:06 ◼   ► really felt like man what a solid [TS]

00:49:08 ◼   ► amazing device this is I mean they [TS]

00:49:10 ◼   ► really hit it out of the park that but [TS]

00:49:11 ◼   ► the battery life is so long [TS]

00:49:13 ◼   ► it looks so much better than all the [TS]

00:49:14 ◼   ► other things it really is the iphone is [TS]

00:49:16 ◼   ► the industry leader in in half a dozen [TS]

00:49:19 ◼   ► ways with these kinds of devices and and [TS]

00:49:22 ◼   ► what made it great [TS]

00:49:23 ◼   ► I've not to go to tech here but what [TS]

00:49:25 ◼   ► made it great was the total integration [TS]

00:49:26 ◼   ► it was apple software running on Apple's [TS]

00:49:29 ◼   ► firmware on Apple's hardware with apples [TS]

00:49:31 ◼   ► manufacturing and QA QC and it was just [TS]

00:49:34 ◼   ► the fact that we were able to hand over [TS]

00:49:35 ◼   ► that money and Trust to them give my [TS]

00:49:38 ◼   ► keys get me the tracksuit and i will cut [TS]

00:49:41 ◼   ► my penis off and go with Apple behind [TS]

00:49:44 ◼   ► the hell Bob comet i am a member [TS]

00:49:46 ◼   ► yeah right i think that day I mean you [TS]

00:49:49 ◼   ► know I know you've-you've sometimes [TS]

00:49:51 ◼   ► like a lot of people struggle with [TS]

00:49:53 ◼   ► devices but i have to say that up until [TS]

00:49:54 ◼   ► a couple years ago [TS]

00:49:56 ◼   ► it all felt pretty solid and around the [TS]

00:49:59 ◼   ► time that they introduced I don't know [TS]

00:50:00 ◼   ► if you do or did this but around the [TS]

00:50:02 ◼   ► time they and whenever they introduced [TS]

00:50:04 ◼   ► Wi-Fi sinking 20 and iOS devices to [TS]

00:50:07 ◼   ► where you could have syncing between [TS]

00:50:09 ◼   ► your computer and your iphone without [TS]

00:50:11 ◼   ► having to hook it up that I think that [TS]

00:50:14 ◼   ► felt like the singularity at that point [TS]

00:50:16 ◼   ► I really felt like we had gotten to a [TS]

00:50:17 ◼   ► point of magic you can update apps and [TS]

00:50:19 ◼   ► you know I always so I know it all comes [TS]

00:50:21 ◼   ► at different times but it's just really [TS]

00:50:22 ◼   ► maybe it's maybe it's me because that's [TS]

00:50:25 ◼   ► the well stroll the well stroll says [TS]

00:50:27 ◼   ► maybe it's me but now today I have so [TS]

00:50:31 ◼   ► much less confidence in a basic thing [TS]

00:50:33 ◼   ► the most basic thing which is that when [TS]

00:50:34 ◼   ► i turn this on [TS]

00:50:35 ◼   ► i'm going to quickly be able to do a [TS]

00:50:37 ◼   ► thing that used to seem kind of simple [TS]

00:50:38 ◼   ► and I just feel like my confidence in [TS]

00:50:41 ◼   ► picking that thing up and knowing that [TS]

00:50:43 ◼   ► everything is going to go okay has [TS]

00:50:45 ◼   ► dropped probably thirty percent in the [TS]

00:50:47 ◼   ► last two years and I you know again she [TS]

00:50:50 ◼   ► can come up with a reason for why every [TS]

00:50:51 ◼   ► single thing including pilot error [TS]

00:50:53 ◼   ► behind the keyboard whatever you want to [TS]

00:50:54 ◼   ► call it but all I know is that like at [TS]

00:50:56 ◼   ► least 25 or more percent of my [TS]

00:50:58 ◼   ► confidence level has dropped as my [TS]

00:51:00 ◼   ► appletv can't get to itunes because it's [TS]

00:51:02 ◼   ► quote currently unavailable [TS]

00:51:04 ◼   ► where I suddenly let me know my wife's [TS]

00:51:07 ◼   ► phone dies at thirty percent power I [TS]

00:51:08 ◼   ► know there's a reason for all of those [TS]

00:51:10 ◼   ► but I maybe it's just because i use it [TS]

00:51:12 ◼   ► more that I notice it now but I that [TS]

00:51:15 ◼   ► confidence is not where it used to be [TS]

00:51:17 ◼   ► and with there was a time when I could [TS]

00:51:19 ◼   ► have said well maybe this didn't work [TS]

00:51:21 ◼   ► because of my apple computer maybe it [TS]

00:51:22 ◼   ► didn't work because of my Hayes modem [TS]

00:51:24 ◼   ► maybe it didn't work because of this [TS]

00:51:26 ◼   ► really cheap cord that I got to go [TS]

00:51:27 ◼   ► between them [TS]

00:51:28 ◼   ► maybe it's because my local service [TS]

00:51:30 ◼   ► provider for the internet is is oversold [TS]

00:51:32 ◼   ► and is dropping connections because the [TS]

00:51:34 ◼   ► quality is not good who knows why but I [TS]

00:51:36 ◼   ► could find half a dozen reasons why it [TS]

00:51:38 ◼   ► just didn't work and now today it's hard [TS]

00:51:41 ◼   ► not to kind of point a finger a little [TS]

00:51:42 ◼   ► bit and say you guys this is all stuff [TS]

00:51:47 ◼   ► that you have chosen to take control of [TS]

00:51:49 ◼   ► and give me no way of getting my hands [TS]

00:51:51 ◼   ► around right [TS]

00:51:52 ◼   ► I can't go see what's inside the apps i [TS]

00:51:54 ◼   ► can go debug what's going on with this I [TS]

00:51:56 ◼   ► could look at this console log and try [TS]

00:51:58 ◼   ► to figure out what all this stuff means [TS]

00:52:00 ◼   ► you can you tell what currently [TS]

00:52:02 ◼   ► unavailable me [TS]

00:52:03 ◼   ► you know you can available means to me a [TS]

00:52:06 ◼   ► guy who went to college and his has [TS]

00:52:08 ◼   ► worked on computers love full time since [TS]

00:52:10 ◼   ► 1989 for me that means i turn off two [TS]

00:52:13 ◼   ► power strips count to ten sing the [TS]

00:52:15 ◼   ► bridge from september's girls by big [TS]

00:52:17 ◼   ► star and then I turn it back on right [TS]

00:52:19 ◼   ► and then eighty-five percent of the time [TS]

00:52:21 ◼   ► it works [TS]

00:52:22 ◼   ► yep well i for for me the like for [TS]

00:52:27 ◼   ► instance i was thinking about this the [TS]

00:52:28 ◼   ► other day i have been using my calendar [TS]

00:52:30 ◼   ► as a diary for a while for as long as [TS]

00:52:36 ◼   ► I've had a iphone calendar and and and [TS]

00:52:39 ◼   ► before that i went into my calendar in [TS]

00:52:43 ◼   ► my computer even as long ago as 10 years [TS]

00:52:46 ◼   ► ago and went back and kind of retro [TS]

00:52:49 ◼   ► actively had scroll back through the [TS]

00:52:52 ◼   ► years and retro actively put in all the [TS]

00:52:56 ◼   ► kind of important dates of my life that [TS]

00:52:58 ◼   ► I wanted to remember the date going back [TS]

00:53:01 ◼   ► to the seventies invest in the in my mac [TS]

00:53:04 ◼   ► calendar and I didn't quite understand [TS]

00:53:07 ◼   ► how to use the different colors of like [TS]

00:53:10 ◼   ► well this is a work thing and this is a [TS]

00:53:12 ◼   ► poem thing so a lot of the old stuff [TS]

00:53:15 ◼   ► that I put in there like that that the [TS]

00:53:18 ◼   ► day I lost my front tooth for the first [TS]

00:53:20 ◼   ► time mark 17 1970s my front seat for the [TS]

00:53:24 ◼   ► first the day you know the day that [TS]

00:53:28 ◼   ► Kelly started going out with David [TS]

00:53:31 ◼   ► breast and ruined my teenage life she [TS]

00:53:34 ◼   ► took a chunk out each on she really did [TS]

00:53:36 ◼   ► you know I put all those dates into my [TS]

00:53:39 ◼   ► calendar because I because my whole life [TS]

00:53:42 ◼   ► I've I've been kept you know like 1980 [TS]

00:53:45 ◼   ► is this great cut off because 1980 [TS]

00:53:48 ◼   ► office Lee is a nice round number [TS]

00:53:50 ◼   ► it was the year that reagan was elected [TS]

00:53:53 ◼   ► to the presidency [TS]

00:53:55 ◼   ► it was the year that I i graduated from [TS]

00:53:59 ◼   ► sixth grade in the spring of nineteen [TS]

00:54:01 ◼   ► eighty and started seventh grade in the [TS]

00:54:05 ◼   ► fall of nineteen eighty [TS]

00:54:07 ◼   ► so 1980 in in the cosmology of my in the [TS]

00:54:12 ◼   ► in the in the mapping of time in my own [TS]

00:54:15 ◼   ► mind 1980 is a corner [TS]

00:54:19 ◼   ► I don't know if you map things I [TS]

00:54:21 ◼   ► absolutely do a map time in your yeah [TS]

00:54:24 ◼   ► always have but it's a corner and it's [TS]

00:54:27 ◼   ► also kind of a rounded corner but it's a [TS]

00:54:30 ◼   ► you know it's a very prominent little [TS]

00:54:32 ◼   ► well up really promontory in my in the [TS]

00:54:39 ◼   ► geography of time in my mind 1980 and so [TS]

00:54:41 ◼   ► if I'm like well what year was not what [TS]

00:54:45 ◼   ► get what day was the day when I but I [TS]

00:54:48 ◼   ► started 1980 and I go right 80 81 81 82 [TS]

00:54:51 ◼   ► 7 8th grade then I started high school [TS]

00:54:54 ◼   ► in the fall of 82 and from there I can [TS]

00:54:58 ◼   ► count this way or that and figure out [TS]

00:55:00 ◼   ► what the dates are anyway all that stuff [TS]

00:55:02 ◼   ► is in my calendar and and for the last [TS]

00:55:05 ◼   ► five years I've also been adding every [TS]

00:55:08 ◼   ► little dumb thing i do so that if I find [TS]

00:55:11 ◼   ► a receipt in a box and I'm like wait a [TS]

00:55:13 ◼   ► minute when was I ever in indianapolis [TS]

00:55:15 ◼   ► did I ever go to a sushi restaurant in [TS]

00:55:17 ◼   ► indianapolis that violates five core [TS]

00:55:20 ◼   ► rules never get seafood in inland state [TS]

00:55:23 ◼   ► you know never ever get sushi [TS]

00:55:25 ◼   ► Indianapolis never eat at Indiana how [TS]

00:55:29 ◼   ► did I where did this receipt come from i [TS]

00:55:31 ◼   ► go in i scroll back in my calendar and [TS]

00:55:33 ◼   ► I'm like oh right i was with joe / nice [TS]

00:55:36 ◼   ► and got a flat tire that day and we [TS]

00:55:39 ◼   ► didn't actually get sushi at that place [TS]

00:55:41 ◼   ► it was it was a sushi taco restaurant [TS]

00:55:44 ◼   ► and we got tacos on the taco side [TS]

00:55:46 ◼   ► forever but all of that all of that [TS]

00:55:49 ◼   ► information the value of which vastly [TS]

00:55:53 ◼   ► exceeds its like they it's useful value [TS]

00:55:58 ◼   ► like it is it is emotional value to me [TS]

00:56:02 ◼   ► it is biographical value it is i could [TS]

00:56:07 ◼   ► probably reproduce a lot of the big [TS]

00:56:09 ◼   ► dates but I'm never ever going to [TS]

00:56:11 ◼   ► remember I was in Indianapolis with [TS]

00:56:13 ◼   ► Joker nissan you know in in june of 2002 [TS]

00:56:17 ◼   ► or what [TS]

00:56:18 ◼   ► that is all stored now in the cloud the [TS]

00:56:25 ◼   ► cow it's stored in the cleared and I do [TS]

00:56:28 ◼   ► not believe in the cloud [TS]

00:56:30 ◼   ► I do not trust the cloud I think the [TS]

00:56:32 ◼   ► cloud is a giant fucking ripoff and the [TS]

00:56:35 ◼   ► cloud is just is just a system by which [TS]

00:56:38 ◼   ► these companies are are jostling with [TS]

00:56:41 ◼   ► one another to charge us fees to charge [TS]

00:56:45 ◼   ► us access fees to the cloud and i will [TS]

00:56:48 ◼   ► put all of this information into my [TS]

00:56:50 ◼   ► system they will migrate it to the cloud [TS]

00:56:53 ◼   ► and then one day they're going to slam a [TS]

00:56:57 ◼   ► door shut and go oh do you want that [TS]

00:56:59 ◼   ► stuff that's in the cloud [TS]

00:57:00 ◼   ► well you have to pay the cloud access [TS]

00:57:03 ◼   ► fee and i'm going to say what [TS]

00:57:06 ◼   ► no you didn't do that for me you didn't [TS]

00:57:08 ◼   ► put that there for me i put it into my [TS]

00:57:11 ◼   ► things i did a ton of work to organize [TS]

00:57:15 ◼   ► my life and I never asked it to be in [TS]

00:57:18 ◼   ► the clade you just put it there and now [TS]

00:57:21 ◼   ► you're charging me to get it and fuck [TS]

00:57:24 ◼   ► you forever a thousand million times [TS]

00:57:27 ◼   ► because that information i should have [TS]

00:57:31 ◼   ► just written down in a book and would [TS]

00:57:33 ◼   ► have at any time up until just recently [TS]

00:57:37 ◼   ► and-and-and would have carried that book [TS]

00:57:40 ◼   ► with me as i did with the paper [TS]

00:57:42 ◼   ► calendars and now i'm not you know so so [TS]

00:57:46 ◼   ► I have it's again it's like now I am [TS]

00:57:49 ◼   ► buying ever ready stock basically and [TS]

00:57:52 ◼   ► I'm just hoping that the cloud survives [TS]

00:57:56 ◼   ► because I know that it's an interim idea [TS]

00:57:58 ◼   ► and I know that eventually there will be [TS]

00:58:01 ◼   ► no hard drive and it will all be stored [TS]

00:58:06 ◼   ► it will all be encoded into into like [TS]

00:58:11 ◼   ► millennia computer or whatever like [TS]

00:58:14 ◼   ► about what we're trying to say notnot [TS]

00:58:18 ◼   ► phantom computers but um [TS]

00:58:23 ◼   ► huh I got one big God computer like God [TS]

00:58:26 ◼   ► computer like a i'm thinking of you move [TS]

00:58:29 ◼   ► your reference taking come it's a [TS]

00:58:32 ◼   ► quantum computers they're all just about [TS]

00:58:35 ◼   ► the Internet of quanta yeah made of [TS]

00:58:37 ◼   ► quanta wear it wear it where it's the [TS]

00:58:39 ◼   ► fifth the shrowde burgers cat hm it's a [TS]

00:58:44 ◼   ► is alive or dead and that is how my [TS]

00:58:47 ◼   ► calendar is saved in the computer [TS]

00:58:51 ◼   ► I wish you'd read the spec for the [TS]

00:58:52 ◼   ► goddamn Schrodinger burgers cat can't [TS]

00:58:57 ◼   ► count that that's alive or dead i don't [TS]

00:58:58 ◼   ► know and i can't access my clothes [TS]

00:59:01 ◼   ► uh he might be in there that's exactly I [TS]

00:59:04 ◼   ► I can't even tell if he's alive I think [TS]

00:59:05 ◼   ► he might be in the cloud I'm not sure [TS]

00:59:07 ◼   ► he's in a clue what about photos you [TS]

00:59:08 ◼   ► feel great about your photos on your [TS]

00:59:10 ◼   ► phone you on the phone you lost your [TS]

00:59:13 ◼   ► phone you know you got to get your [TS]

00:59:14 ◼   ► photos [TS]

00:59:14 ◼   ► well here Leslie here's what happened so [TS]

00:59:17 ◼   ► we were on the Oregon coast around [TS]

00:59:19 ◼   ► Christmas and I'm out there and we're [TS]

00:59:22 ◼   ► out on the the the mudflat you know the [TS]

00:59:25 ◼   ► Oregon coast is this fantastic place [TS]

00:59:27 ◼   ► it's really one of the great places in [TS]

00:59:29 ◼   ► the world and what's wonderful about it [TS]

00:59:31 ◼   ► is that the beaches are very very flat [TS]

00:59:34 ◼   ► and shallow so when the tide goes out [TS]

00:59:36 ◼   ► the tide goes way out and it goes and [TS]

00:59:40 ◼   ► then keep going [TS]

00:59:41 ◼   ► so you can stand on the beach at the [TS]

00:59:43 ◼   ► point where high tide is and when the [TS]

00:59:46 ◼   ► tide is fully out you can't even see you [TS]

00:59:47 ◼   ► can see the surf like in them bury [TS]

00:59:49 ◼   ► system you know like the shimmering [TS]

00:59:52 ◼   ► distance [TS]

00:59:53 ◼   ► wow so you have this fantastic like wet [TS]

00:59:57 ◼   ► flat sand [TS]

00:59:57 ◼   ► flat sand [TS]

01:00:00 ◼   ► stretching to infinity and so we're out [TS]

01:00:03 ◼   ► on the sand and my daughter and I are [TS]

01:00:06 ◼   ► out there walking around and we're [TS]

01:00:08 ◼   ► looking at little crabs and spoken in [TS]

01:00:11 ◼   ► the beginning scene where the little [TS]

01:00:12 ◼   ► clams are purse spurting and having a [TS]

01:00:15 ◼   ► good time but one of the other factors [TS]

01:00:20 ◼   ► of the organ coast is when the tide is [TS]

01:00:22 ◼   ► all the way out every hundredth wave is [TS]

01:00:27 ◼   ► a rogue wave and if you're beaches a [TS]

01:00:31 ◼   ► mile wide and super flat and up and an [TS]

01:00:34 ◼   ► outsize wave comes it can travel [TS]

01:00:37 ◼   ► hundreds of yards wow I hundreds of [TS]

01:00:40 ◼   ► yards further than what you are assuming [TS]

01:00:43 ◼   ► is the tide line at any given moment so [TS]

01:00:46 ◼   ► she and I are out walking on the beach [TS]

01:00:48 ◼   ► to poop derpa derpa derp looking and [TS]

01:00:50 ◼   ► poking it at crabs and going like a look [TS]

01:00:53 ◼   ► at this and she's like oh wow pvp and [TS]

01:00:56 ◼   ► i'm filming her walking on the beach and [TS]

01:01:00 ◼   ► all of a sudden I look up and here comes [TS]

01:01:02 ◼   ► a 2 foot wave and I've got the camera [TS]

01:01:09 ◼   ► pointed at her and I see this thing and [TS]

01:01:14 ◼   ► she looks up and sees this wave and I'm [TS]

01:01:17 ◼   ► 15 feet from her at this point and i go [TS]

01:01:22 ◼   ► one knowing that she's two-and-a-half [TS]

01:01:27 ◼   ► cannot outrun the wave does not even [TS]

01:01:30 ◼   ► understand it with that command from [TS]

01:01:33 ◼   ► daddy might just run to work the wave [TS]

01:01:35 ◼   ► and she like takes a step to the left [TS]

01:01:38 ◼   ► takes a step to the right and the wave [TS]

01:01:40 ◼   ► hits her and this is this is New Year's [TS]

01:01:45 ◼   ► it's not a warm wave em and she goes as [TS]

01:01:51 ◼   ► you can imagine like apeshit and she [TS]

01:01:54 ◼   ► tries to step she tries to keep her feet [TS]

01:01:56 ◼   ► and you know one second two seconds [TS]

01:02:01 ◼   ► three seconds she's she's fighting to [TS]

01:02:03 ◼   ► mention she's 20 and she decides to nap [TS]

01:02:06 ◼   ► she's fighting the wave and daddy is [TS]

01:02:08 ◼   ► like holy shit and trying to get to her [TS]

01:02:11 ◼   ► and just as I arrived at her she goes [TS]

01:02:15 ◼   ► down into the water and I have this [TS]

01:02:18 ◼   ► daddy moment where I'm like I've just [TS]

01:02:21 ◼   ► lost my daughter to Poseidon and I [TS]

01:02:24 ◼   ► grabbed her out of the froth and she [TS]

01:02:28 ◼   ► said it isn't the look on her face [TS]

01:02:30 ◼   ► tremendous and she is berserk and I am [TS]

01:02:35 ◼   ► desert with panic and of course all the [TS]

01:02:38 ◼   ► women folk who are part of my tribe who [TS]

01:02:42 ◼   ► had the good sense not to be anywhere [TS]

01:02:43 ◼   ► near the intertidal zone are standing up [TS]

01:02:47 ◼   ► on the dry sand shrieking and I'm like I [TS]

01:02:51 ◼   ► gotcha I gotcha [TS]

01:02:52 ◼   ► we're fine we're fine and she's like [TS]

01:02:55 ◼   ► kicking and going crazy and I carrier up [TS]

01:02:58 ◼   ► the beach and then the other last [TS]

01:03:02 ◼   ► salient feature of the oregon coast is [TS]

01:03:04 ◼   ► that there are sand dunes where we were [TS]

01:03:07 ◼   ► staying there sand dunes that are maybe [TS]

01:03:10 ◼   ► a quarter of a mile that we have to have [TS]

01:03:13 ◼   ► to traverse to get back to the the town [TS]

01:03:17 ◼   ► so I'm carrying this very wet very cold [TS]

01:03:20 ◼   ► very angry child and I put her inside my [TS]

01:03:24 ◼   ► coat and I'm the whole time I'm talking [TS]

01:03:26 ◼   ► to her like it's okay you're fine that [TS]

01:03:28 ◼   ► that's sometimes the waves this is the [TS]

01:03:31 ◼   ► thing about the ocean the ocean is [TS]

01:03:32 ◼   ► wonderful but sometimes the waves are [TS]

01:03:35 ◼   ► unpredictable and daddy really failed to [TS]

01:03:38 ◼   ► protect you from that way but it's also [TS]

01:03:41 ◼   ► good to remember the sea cannot be [TS]

01:03:43 ◼   ► trusted to not ever put your faith in [TS]

01:03:46 ◼   ► the sea he learned two valuable lessons [TS]

01:03:49 ◼   ► about a dress today I don't trust daddy [TS]

01:03:52 ◼   ► and don't let that sit because their [TS]

01:03:54 ◼   ► trust anything but you can trust me now [TS]

01:03:56 ◼   ► that I'm going to get you home and into [TS]

01:03:57 ◼   ► the bath [TS]

01:03:59 ◼   ► well six months later I'm going through [TS]

01:04:03 ◼   ► my photos and i realize that i was [TS]

01:04:08 ◼   ► filming her when she was hit by that [TS]

01:04:10 ◼   ► wave and then get intended and then I [TS]

01:04:14 ◼   ► immediately threw my phone in the in the [TS]

01:04:18 ◼   ► big pocket of my of my parka but it was [TS]

01:04:23 ◼   ► still running and so there is a film of [TS]

01:04:29 ◼   ► you know my baby walking down the beach [TS]

01:04:31 ◼   ► me talking to her were talking about [TS]

01:04:33 ◼   ► crabs and then [TS]

01:04:34 ◼   ► oh shit a rogue wave baby gets hit with [TS]

01:04:39 ◼   ► rogue wave and phone immediately goes [TS]

01:04:41 ◼   ► dark as it goes into my pocket but then [TS]

01:04:44 ◼   ► there's an hour and a half of audio of [TS]

01:04:47 ◼   ► me saying it's alright don't trust the [TS]

01:04:50 ◼   ► sea and don't trust daddy at but you [TS]

01:04:53 ◼   ► have to trust daddy this is the paradox [TS]

01:04:55 ◼   ► of life and really we depend on the sea [TS]

01:04:59 ◼   ► I know you're not going to understand [TS]

01:05:01 ◼   ► this for a while you know like dad just [TS]

01:05:03 ◼   ► you must have had a gentleman pumping [TS]

01:05:04 ◼   ► all-time yourself well but I'm like that [TS]

01:05:07 ◼   ► partly i am like calming my adrenaline [TS]

01:05:09 ◼   ► by explaining to my daughter that the [TS]

01:05:12 ◼   ► that the world is full of rogue waves [TS]

01:05:15 ◼   ► and you know when you hear the kind of [TS]

01:05:18 ◼   ► corduroy of of my wet pants as I'm [TS]

01:05:22 ◼   ► walking through the dunes work block [TS]

01:05:25 ◼   ► floor work carrying this like and she [TS]

01:05:28 ◼   ► and you can hear her screaming and then [TS]

01:05:30 ◼   ► you hear calm down here listening to the [TS]

01:05:32 ◼   ► story of the sea and what just happened [TS]

01:05:34 ◼   ► and so forth and so I have all this i [TS]

01:05:37 ◼   ► have this movie that's an hour and a [TS]

01:05:39 ◼   ► half long which itunes refuses to import [TS]

01:05:44 ◼   ► into my computer because too long and so [TS]

01:05:50 ◼   ► I go to the editing function like the [TS]

01:05:54 ◼   ► trim function on the on the photo app [TS]

01:05:59 ◼   ► and I say well I can trim off the last [TS]

01:06:03 ◼   ► now I can trim off the last hour of this [TS]

01:06:06 ◼   ► or whatever because it's just audio [TS]

01:06:08 ◼   ► sitting in a wet coat hanging on a peg [TS]

01:06:12 ◼   ► well you know the well basically the [TS]

01:06:16 ◼   ► women folk sit in the kitchen and talk [TS]

01:06:18 ◼   ► about what a bad father I am and the the [TS]

01:06:22 ◼   ► trim function says it requires too much [TS]

01:06:25 ◼   ► memory to trim this movie so you cannot [TS]

01:06:30 ◼   ► trim it might all right you won't import [TS]

01:06:34 ◼   ► it but you won't let me edit it and the [TS]

01:06:39 ◼   ► the key bit you know the key first 10 [TS]

01:06:42 ◼   ► minutes of this is something i would [TS]

01:06:44 ◼   ► like to keep quite frankly i would like [TS]

01:06:46 ◼   ► to keep this video of her getting hit by [TS]

01:06:48 ◼   ► the wave because it's because the story [TS]

01:06:51 ◼   ► is going to come up again but i cannot i [TS]

01:06:55 ◼   ► cannot employ can't get it off my phone [TS]

01:06:58 ◼   ► and I can't and I can't edit it to get [TS]

01:07:03 ◼   ► it off my phone and I honestly don't [TS]

01:07:05 ◼   ► know what to do [TS]

01:07:06 ◼   ► it's just sitting there it's not going [TS]

01:07:08 ◼   ► this is the thing it's not gone yet but [TS]

01:07:11 ◼   ► but my presumption is one day something [TS]

01:07:14 ◼   ► will go back and then it'll just be like [TS]

01:07:18 ◼   ► lost forever [TS]

01:07:20 ◼   ► it's like an astronaut on the moon were [TS]

01:07:22 ◼   ► like we're pretty sure they're still [TS]

01:07:23 ◼   ► alive but we don't have a way to get to [TS]

01:07:25 ◼   ► the up that's right that's right you're [TS]

01:07:27 ◼   ► just waiting for the oxygen to run out [TS]

01:07:29 ◼   ► my god [TS]

01:07:30 ◼   ► and you know what what are my options [TS]