Ep. 101: "Where All the Lilypads Are"
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[Music]
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hello a John Merlin how's it going get
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are you doing pretty well
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wow you sound good voice little i have
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yeah I haven't eaten here using your
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scott simpson voice oh well that's
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exciting i'm glad i'm not that we found
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a way to talk to each other today
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yes yes i am to you been busy you had
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your big show
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I put on a show I hear good things i
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wish every time I walk out the door
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jingle stick or now that's right
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feathered headdress the world is just a
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big percentage of them that you that you
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just enter and exit at your leisure
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yeah I stand out at the front arms arms
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spread wide in Jesus Christ pose ffi I
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say I'm a golden God already does that
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internal much to you
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mm she had your shot at the at the
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rendezvous how to go at the rendezvous
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well it was a it was a learning
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experience for me a growing experience
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learning and growing the you know the
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what I need to learn
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here's what I don't know i do not know
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how to use three-by-five cards and I and
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I know that might sound strange to you
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given how well you utilize three-by-five
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cards i hear them there but I never
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learned to use them I remember a in what
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would have been in general maybe fifth
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grade is where they first say now you're
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going to make a topic statement and then
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an outline
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nope yeah and i add in junior high they
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really really focused on it and I
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remember sitting on the floor surrounded
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by three-by-five cards and I had done
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everything I could number them in order
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them and they just always got mixed
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up you know I'd start flipping through
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them and pretty soon they're all mixed
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up in the been crazy order and never
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made any sense to me my mom was a three
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by five card user or at least she knew
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how to do it but three-by-five cards
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have always baffled me I've never
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learned how to employ them the things
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that I end up riding on three-by-five
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cards are always just random and useless
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when I'm standing in front of a crowd
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and look at what you don't know what it
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means later
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yeah I look at it it's just like it says
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ballpoint pen and it's like that's that
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I i'm not referring to that in my speech
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i don't know what i'm talking about why
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don't you write that down and now you're
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off your game because you're thinking
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about pens
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yeah well so so that's the problem i i i
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i had i needed some notes I wrote some
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notes and then the notes were a constant
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distraction to me because i would look
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at periodically would look over to the
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lectern at my list of notes and they
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were and it was just like I couldn't
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read my own handwriting and also I
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didn't know what I meant by the things
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that written down so that's very that's
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so that's something I need to learn how
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to do i need to learn how to
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bullet-point a presentation and then use
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those bullet points to effectively jog
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the speech in my mind can we circle back
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to index cards I i want to hear about
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your show but I actually i think what
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you just described a phenomenon that is
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really damaging to a lot of people who
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could be very creative and I'd like to
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circle back to that but I've like
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because I don't take off the game with
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your show but I got to say about what
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you're describing here
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yeah well I'm hope i see i'm hoping to
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get your your insight and your wisdom
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because i know that you do i know that
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you see this is the thing to get up and
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give an hour-long presentation where you
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have no there is no like you're not a
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guest on somebody else's show you are
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not hiding behind your guitar
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you're not be you are not an opener for
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something you are not there is no
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context other than i am here during a
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show i'm walking out onstage America
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I'm an hour-long show this is something
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I know you've done and for me I've
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always had a guitar or have been part of
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a larger production
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mhm and to get up and say like I'm going
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to entertain you with nothing else other
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than my own thoughts for an hour
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it requires a little bit of organization
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but like do you make a set list for the
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yes okay i think a set list is a
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terrific example of I'm gonna I'm gonna
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rhian circle back because i think this
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is not talking about and jumping jumping
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any point with the show okay i so you
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know right tool for the job is what it
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comes down to
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there's a bigger pattern here but the
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little pattern is that you discover
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which tools work for you I think so as a
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set list is has been for years has been
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a classic for a simple reason I mean
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it's really everybody understands what
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it's for you understand what order the
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songs are in unless you're the drummer
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you might need some special explanation
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something that's all you need little
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stars and numbers by the song
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hey John these real names of our songs i
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no see the little number by that that
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that means you use sticks on this one
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that's your name dude
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so I i think that that's a really good
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example because what do you really need
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to know like so you know how your songs
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go you you know how they start an end
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the thing that you need is the like like
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my get the job my dad used to having
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radio is called traffic which is not how
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cars are moving it was basically how you
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fill time and so my dad like a lot of
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people in broadcasting at the very
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unsexy job sitting there with a
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stopwatch and figure out exactly how
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many seconds each thing took and did
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they read the announcements this time
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and all that kind of stuff like the
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David Letterman you speak booth in an
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announcer at a TV station same job super
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boring but it's really it's kind of
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about transitions in some ways and I
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think in some ways you could think of
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set list is that yes a list of the songs
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are going to play that's what people
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want to take home and put on the dorm
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wall and stuff but to you it's just it's
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a queue of what the next thing is and
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then you don't have to think about it
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again until that songs are just about
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over and you look out of the corner of
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your eye and even have to read full name
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of the song down because you know how
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you know if you just wrote down medicine
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like you know what song that is
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right bc i'm saying though I can I think
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you may be a quote-unquote index card
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person already it's just that you have
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been probably poisoned by the same
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system that i was poisoned by which is
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you know I don't know I think there are
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some people who think in very different
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ways there are many books about this and
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some people are analysts some people are
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synthesist some people can do both
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there's some people though who like to
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see the whole problem finished and know
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what it looks like and are able to like
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make a thing without having to analyze
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it like they know what the whole thing
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is so I'd I was really embarrassed at
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the time fifth sixth seventh grade will
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really just in general but but I was
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really embarrassed because I i thought i
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was the only person in the world who
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wrote the essay first and then made an
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outline after they wrote an essay and
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then reverse engineer the index cards
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from the outline because that's what you
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had to hand and they want to see you
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show your work right I think that's
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really stifling to some people if
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somebody can write an essay let me write
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a cot damn essay
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okay you know you can get so obsessed
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with teaching that person this one
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little unit on how to use index cards to
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write a report that you really end up
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scratching their their creativity by not
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letting them make things the way they
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don't even realize they already know how
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to make it so now you make them think
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that they're a dumbass because they
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don't know how to use index cards i
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think that happens a whole a lot in
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schools
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I completely forgot why they even made
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us use index cards and now you've just
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reminded me yes of course they were
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trying to get us to use index cards to
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organize our thoughts to write a paper
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yeah and I was exactly like you of
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course i know what i want to say i'm
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just going to write it's not like I just
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let it sit down and write an essay i
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didn't have to organize my thoughts on
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index cards and then I had to like dummy
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up to gin up these index cards to
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pretend like i had used them he had to
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like cook the books
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yeah but that's actually what so this is
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so this is my preparation for my show
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was i sat down and I wrote 2,500 word
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humorous SI and then i read it and i
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don't quite weak and lakes yeah that's
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exactly right 2500 word universal well
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and that indicate the theme of it was
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two kinds of people in this world
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winner's lose just and so then I i read
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it and i liked it and I honed it as i do
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until it I until I really liked it and
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then I read it and I was like oh but I
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can't memorize this 2,500 work si like
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if I was doing if I was coming up with
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the show that I was gonna do like a rock
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band set list where i was going to do it
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30 times i was going to take this show
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on the road now is going to do it 30
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times then yeah I would sit and spend
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three weeks memorizing my my
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presentation and then i would go out in
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the first couple of nights would be a
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little bit rough and I be looking at my
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my cue cards but then i would get the i
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would i would get my show and then I
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would do it 30 times but what I am
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trying to do is do a show a week and I
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don't and and memorizing an essay isn't
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my forte and so then I was like maybe I
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should just maybe the show should be
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that I just sit on a stool and read my
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dramatic SI and I thought about that i
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read it out loud a couple of times and I
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was like well no first of all i I'm I'm
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bad at reading essays aloud like I don't
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but it's not fun i don't like it and
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also they don't think that's
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entertaining sit was watching guys sit
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on a stool and with it reads SI so the
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TBS right now so i was like no no what I
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wrote the essay to get my thoughts going
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and now i'm just going to get up onstage
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I'm going to extemporize based on having
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written this essay I thought about that
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for another day or two and then I sat
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down and I wrote a second 2500 word
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essay because when i read the first one
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allowed it only took it only lasted 15
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minutes I was like oh I guess I need
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5,000 words
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so wrote a second essay which I also
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liked which i also did not intend to
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memorize and then when I got up on stage
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I basically got up there and spend an
[TS]
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hour tried to recall the two essays I'd
[TS]
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written and signed up so I be talking
[TS]
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about be like and then blahblah and then
[TS]
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in my mind voice would say you had a
[TS]
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really really funny way of putting this
[TS]
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in your essay and I'm talking I'm still
[TS]
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◼
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telling the story but half of my
[TS]
00:11:26
◼
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attention is devoted to trying to recall
[TS]
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the funny way that I had of saying the
[TS]
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next thing I'm about to say range of
[TS]
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course i could not recall I couldn't lay
[TS]
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my hands on the funny turn of phrase so
[TS]
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when I got to the place in the story
[TS]
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where I where I was trying to recall the
[TS]
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funny term friends
[TS]
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I you know I I bumbled through it like a
[TS]
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guy trying to walk up a muddy road like
[TS]
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you know I jump over onto this rock and
[TS]
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then I see like oh there's a rock over
[TS]
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there and I jump but i miss alright it's
[TS]
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not a rock it's a puddle and so the
[TS]
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whole show
[TS]
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I'm feeling this step I'm doing this
[TS]
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◼
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state of a of handicap itude where I
[TS]
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◼
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have on my computer sitting feet away
[TS]
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◼
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from me in a bag to very humorous essays
[TS]
00:12:19
◼
►
it's like it's like a headache you're
[TS]
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◼
►
just holding two aspirin against your
[TS]
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◼
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head nothing's happened it and now I'm
[TS]
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◼
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trying to basically in part the gist of
[TS]
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◼
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these two humans essays to a roomful of
[TS]
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◼
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people who have paid to watch me
[TS]
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entertain them and so when I walked off
[TS]
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the stage I was like okay good learning
[TS]
00:12:41
◼
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experience first lesson you cannot
[TS]
00:12:45
◼
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recall your essays when you're onstage
[TS]
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◼
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and knowing that you've written them and
[TS]
00:12:51
◼
►
having them in the briefcase next to you
[TS]
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◼
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there is no as Moses that gets the the
[TS]
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◼
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funniness of them to you and also
[TS]
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◼
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they're just a distraction like I'm up
[TS]
00:13:00
◼
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there if I had
[TS]
00:13:02
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if I'd been standing on the stage
[TS]
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totally cold and your voice from the
[TS]
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back of the room had said bananas i will
[TS]
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I know you could attend three hours
[TS]
00:13:13
◼
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yeah I've got a funny story about
[TS]
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◼
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bananas and then I would have had no
[TS]
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◼
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there would have been no effort but in
[TS]
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◼
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it instead I had prepared just enough to
[TS]
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◼
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to hobble myself because I because part
[TS]
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of me part of my brain was tied to the
[TS]
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◼
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idea that i had already done this better
[TS]
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somewhere and that's entertaining to
[TS]
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well mhm and I don't think the crowd i
[TS]
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◼
►
don't think the audience would have have
[TS]
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◼
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noticed or I mean you know my mom was
[TS]
00:13:45
◼
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like at one point I could see you
[TS]
00:13:47
◼
►
visibly tried to recall something on
[TS]
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◼
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stage and I was like now that's
[TS]
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◼
►
entertainment but i I've had a slice of
[TS]
00:13:55
◼
►
pie one little pie was it let me let me
[TS]
00:13:59
◼
►
just stand up here and try to recall a
[TS]
00:14:02
◼
►
funny anecdote was that uncle Morris Oh
[TS]
00:14:05
◼
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uncle Wesley Morris don't know I want to
[TS]
00:14:07
◼
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get it right and and I feel like you
[TS]
00:14:10
◼
►
know I feel like after a little bit of a
[TS]
00:14:12
◼
►
rough start I did a surrender to the
[TS]
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◼
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idea that I was just get it was just
[TS]
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going to try and re i was gonna try and
[TS]
00:14:19
◼
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we capture the fun of telling these
[TS]
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stories in in real time and I don't
[TS]
00:14:26
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think I I don't think I traumatize the
[TS]
00:14:28
◼
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audience and in fact you know the great
[TS]
00:14:31
◼
►
had a great like hack of this show
[TS]
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◼
►
there are a few hacks first attack is
[TS]
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◼
►
that the room has 75 person capacity so
[TS]
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it is it's a it's an intimate
[TS]
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◼
►
environment although when I walked out
[TS]
00:14:51
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on stage it was not as intimate as I
[TS]
00:14:53
◼
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thought it was there how much distance
[TS]
00:14:55
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is their first highest stage and how far
[TS]
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is it from the first row seats
[TS]
00:14:59
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the stage is three feet high and it is
[TS]
00:15:02
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one and a half feet from the first seat
[TS]
00:15:06
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that's intimate so but there were 80
[TS]
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►
people in the room rate and so that is
[TS]
00:15:13
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►
just beyond the
[TS]
00:15:15
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►
you know that the people toward the
[TS]
00:15:17
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middle of the of the hall start to fade
[TS]
00:15:20
◼
►
into the mist like there are a lot of
[TS]
00:15:21
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►
there are enough people here that I
[TS]
00:15:22
◼
►
can't just I can't just look down and
[TS]
00:15:25
◼
►
address everybody by name but that but
[TS]
00:15:28
◼
►
the double hack of this was what was a
[TS]
00:15:32
◼
►
an idea that i cribbed from Hodgman
[TS]
00:15:35
◼
►
which is at the end of the night I said
[TS]
00:15:37
◼
►
I'm going to read out the URL i'm going
[TS]
00:15:39
◼
►
to do a dramatic reading of the URL
[TS]
00:15:41
◼
►
right now
[TS]
00:15:42
◼
►
bi t dot ly / and I read out the URL for
[TS]
00:15:48
◼
►
the ticket link for them it's for the
[TS]
00:15:50
◼
►
next show and I said for for the next 24
[TS]
00:15:54
◼
►
this link is only open to people in this
[TS]
00:15:59
◼
►
here's the code word here's the piers
[TS]
00:16:01
◼
►
the password and so for 24 hours only
[TS]
00:16:04
◼
►
people here have the ability to buy
[TS]
00:16:07
◼
►
tickets to the next show like your
[TS]
00:16:09
◼
►
grandfather again that's right so if you
[TS]
00:16:12
◼
►
were here at the first show and you want
[TS]
00:16:14
◼
►
to keep going to the next to the show's
[TS]
00:16:16
◼
►
then you are you know you have first
[TS]
00:16:18
◼
►
right of refusal on that psychology is
[TS]
00:16:21
◼
►
that nice it's easy
[TS]
00:16:22
◼
►
it creates a sense of false scarcity
[TS]
00:16:24
◼
►
that's so important today it really is
[TS]
00:16:27
◼
►
people like a little bit of scarcity and
[TS]
00:16:29
◼
►
sleep all this even if they know it's
[TS]
00:16:31
◼
►
false but I gotta get going to get it
[TS]
00:16:33
◼
►
I got to get the fucking ticket but I
[TS]
00:16:36
◼
►
woke up the next morning and the show
[TS]
00:16:38
◼
►
had sold out the next shows already sold
[TS]
00:16:40
◼
►
it sold out before the tickets were went
[TS]
00:16:43
◼
►
on sale
[TS]
00:16:44
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►
god bless John Hodgman isn't that a nice
[TS]
00:16:47
◼
►
a good trick
[TS]
00:16:48
◼
►
it's a very good trick and so that this
[TS]
00:16:51
◼
►
this this mention of it here on the
[TS]
00:16:54
◼
►
podcast is the last time all I will ever
[TS]
00:16:56
◼
►
credit John Hodgman for the idea and
[TS]
00:16:59
◼
►
going to get a lot of credit for things
[TS]
00:17:00
◼
►
as it really does and he probably stole
[TS]
00:17:02
◼
►
it from somebody I don't know maybe he
[TS]
00:17:04
◼
►
thought into Canada a pretty smart guy
[TS]
00:17:05
◼
►
but I'm I'm not crediting him anymore
[TS]
00:17:08
◼
►
end and I hope when the wikipedia entry
[TS]
00:17:11
◼
►
that written in 2025 reading deadly
[TS]
00:17:15
◼
►
lakes a lot more dramatic bit ly
[TS]
00:17:17
◼
►
readings will credit me
[TS]
00:17:19
◼
►
uh-huh innovation John Roderick's
[TS]
00:17:22
◼
►
primary contribution to Western culture
[TS]
00:17:25
◼
►
was this idea that he stole from
[TS]
00:17:27
◼
►
somebody who's name is lost to history
[TS]
00:17:31
◼
►
this brilliant innovation
[TS]
00:17:33
◼
►
notwithstanding John would frequently
[TS]
00:17:35
◼
►
just repeat one word as the course for a
[TS]
00:17:39
◼
►
he's known firm for more than 11 culture
[TS]
00:17:42
◼
►
culture additive you know we do we get
[TS]
00:17:45
◼
►
in our own way
[TS]
00:17:46
◼
►
that's the yes yes I was in my own way
[TS]
00:17:49
◼
►
yep it was like I was onstage and and I
[TS]
00:17:52
◼
►
kept standing in front of me and then
[TS]
00:17:54
◼
►
there was a third me that was trying to
[TS]
00:17:57
◼
►
move me and the other me around
[TS]
00:18:00
◼
►
interesting people on stage is let's be
[TS]
00:18:02
◼
►
honest john hodgman innovation haha he's
[TS]
00:18:06
◼
►
very good at you can email because you
[TS]
00:18:10
◼
►
dinged him just now
[TS]
00:18:11
◼
►
no he doesn't listen to our podcast good
[TS]
00:18:13
◼
►
no I think he does actually that's
[TS]
00:18:15
◼
►
alright so good
[TS]
00:18:18
◼
►
well so so so as I thought about the
[TS]
00:18:21
◼
►
show I was like the thing is I like
[TS]
00:18:23
◼
►
writing the 2500 word essay I that I
[TS]
00:18:26
◼
►
enjoy that and not only do i enjoy but
[TS]
00:18:30
◼
►
when i'm done i have a 2500 word essay
[TS]
00:18:33
◼
►
that I wrote
[TS]
00:18:34
◼
►
yeah which gives me a feeling of
[TS]
00:18:35
◼
►
accomplishment and so I write it and I
[TS]
00:18:39
◼
►
enjoy the process of like what that that
[TS]
00:18:41
◼
►
word isn't quite funny enough like how
[TS]
00:18:43
◼
►
do i how do I punched that up oh right
[TS]
00:18:45
◼
►
and then I find the funnier way of like
[TS]
00:18:48
◼
►
I like that
[TS]
00:18:50
◼
►
but there's not enough time every week
[TS]
00:18:52
◼
►
to to memorize all the funny turns of
[TS]
00:18:58
◼
►
phrase and and having written it out and
[TS]
00:19:02
◼
►
made it funny i have i have kind of
[TS]
00:19:05
◼
►
removed it from the realm of like
[TS]
00:19:10
◼
►
extemporaneous story that I'm just
[TS]
00:19:11
◼
►
coming up with and you're very colorful
[TS]
00:19:14
◼
►
speaker just listening to you talking
[TS]
00:19:16
◼
►
about your experience with united
[TS]
00:19:18
◼
►
airlines at seatac I've listened to that
[TS]
00:19:19
◼
►
episode that especially that first
[TS]
00:19:21
◼
►
episode of thank you for calling i
[TS]
00:19:23
◼
►
listen to that twice just for how
[TS]
00:19:24
◼
►
articulate you are at telling this
[TS]
00:19:26
◼
►
particular miserable story and your
[TS]
00:19:29
◼
►
turns of phrase are fantastic you didn't
[TS]
00:19:30
◼
►
write that out what you might have
[TS]
00:19:31
◼
►
written it out i don't know what but I
[TS]
00:19:34
◼
►
are awfully you're awfully good at that
[TS]
00:19:35
◼
►
it's a one reason people i think enjoy
[TS]
00:19:37
◼
►
this program is is you are a wonderful
[TS]
00:19:39
◼
►
extemporaneous storyteller and anything
[TS]
00:19:43
◼
►
that would get between you and getting
[TS]
00:19:45
◼
►
to the point where speaking comfortably
[TS]
00:19:46
◼
►
you know I mean I think it's because
[TS]
00:19:49
◼
►
this is what I want to learn and this is
[TS]
00:19:51
◼
►
the learning and growing part yeah like
[TS]
00:19:53
◼
►
I know that I can get up in front of a
[TS]
00:19:55
◼
►
room of people and say and basically you
[TS]
00:19:59
◼
►
know say to give me an animal a cat give
[TS]
00:20:03
◼
►
me a city st. Louis
[TS]
00:20:06
◼
►
alright let me tell you a story about a
[TS]
00:20:08
◼
►
cat in st. Louis
[TS]
00:20:09
◼
►
you know i got i know what you decide
[TS]
00:20:12
◼
►
which one but yeah exactly how many how
[TS]
00:20:15
◼
►
many cats stories of from st. Louis time
[TS]
00:20:18
◼
►
let's see well let's just limited to the
[TS]
00:20:21
◼
►
eighties but what I want to do is I want
[TS]
00:20:24
◼
►
to develop my I want to develop into a
[TS]
00:20:28
◼
►
like the whole point of doing this show
[TS]
00:20:30
◼
►
is to develop a new skill and what I
[TS]
00:20:33
◼
►
would what I want that skill to be what
[TS]
00:20:36
◼
►
my goal is is that i do some preparation
[TS]
00:20:39
◼
►
period like I do some preparation and I
[TS]
00:20:46
◼
►
know what I'm doing
[TS]
00:20:47
◼
►
I go into it with a little bit of
[TS]
00:20:51
◼
►
preparation and so
[TS]
00:20:53
◼
►
so do you you want to get your own way a
[TS]
00:20:56
◼
►
little bit and I grow you have to do
[TS]
00:20:58
◼
►
something more and it's something that
[TS]
00:21:00
◼
►
everybody falls into like you know god
[TS]
00:21:02
◼
►
bless Bob Dylan if he hadn't started
[TS]
00:21:04
◼
►
annoying Pete sticker with electric
[TS]
00:21:05
◼
►
music we would have a real different
[TS]
00:21:06
◼
►
idea yeah and that morning meal we're
[TS]
00:21:12
◼
►
good see except ring is hilarious and
[TS]
00:21:18
◼
►
what you're working your way just enough
[TS]
00:21:19
◼
►
to be able to you you're trying to put a
[TS]
00:21:21
◼
►
little sand into generate a little pearl
[TS]
00:21:23
◼
►
write something new
[TS]
00:21:24
◼
►
exactly well a couple years ago paul f
[TS]
00:21:26
◼
►
tompkins I saw a couple of politicking
[TS]
00:21:30
◼
►
shows we may have talked about this
[TS]
00:21:32
◼
►
before i saw a couple of politicking
[TS]
00:21:36
◼
►
shows where he had evolved he was
[TS]
00:21:38
◼
►
evolving his act away from straight
[TS]
00:21:41
◼
►
stand up and he was going into this
[TS]
00:21:43
◼
►
long-form storytelling where he started
[TS]
00:21:46
◼
►
out any he did an hour-long show and the
[TS]
00:21:51
◼
►
entire show was basically the story of
[TS]
00:21:55
◼
►
his his job history before he became a
[TS]
00:22:00
◼
►
comic like all of the shit jobs that he
[TS]
00:22:04
◼
►
had when he was a teenager in his early
[TS]
00:22:07
◼
►
place and so that is like basically any
[TS]
00:22:13
◼
►
rock on the line episode and any night
[TS]
00:22:17
◼
►
at a cocktail party with either you or
[TS]
00:22:19
◼
►
right like oh you wanted you want two
[TS]
00:22:22
◼
►
hour-long like disquisition you might
[TS]
00:22:25
◼
►
want to get a couple drinks and graphs
[TS]
00:22:27
◼
►
eat it because let me tell you about my
[TS]
00:22:30
◼
►
first five jobs or whatever but what
[TS]
00:22:32
◼
►
somebody say busboy
[TS]
00:22:34
◼
►
hello I know I'm busboy
[TS]
00:22:38
◼
►
yeah how many people in the room ever
[TS]
00:22:39
◼
►
worked at a glance real quick um but
[TS]
00:22:44
◼
►
watching Paul do his show it was evident
[TS]
00:22:48
◼
►
that his 20 years of stand-up comedy had
[TS]
00:22:53
◼
►
at was greatly informing his
[TS]
00:22:55
◼
►
storytelling his his comic time in was
[TS]
00:23:01
◼
►
you know not just impeccable but also
[TS]
00:23:04
◼
►
the laugh lines of the stories
[TS]
00:23:07
◼
►
were not what you that it wasn't built
[TS]
00:23:11
◼
►
around like here comes the story here
[TS]
00:23:13
◼
►
comes the story and it's coming up to
[TS]
00:23:14
◼
►
the end and the end is going to be funny
[TS]
00:23:17
◼
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and then there's the blue the end haha
[TS]
00:23:20
◼
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it was much more like he's telling the
[TS]
00:23:22
◼
►
story and then there would be a little
[TS]
00:23:24
◼
►
detail and it would be that it would be
[TS]
00:23:26
◼
►
the biggest laugh line of the night but
[TS]
00:23:28
◼
►
it wasn't the laugh lines were all kind
[TS]
00:23:30
◼
►
of like these polyps and the threat of
[TS]
00:23:34
◼
►
the story continued underneath and you
[TS]
00:23:36
◼
►
know the end of the story and like you
[TS]
00:23:37
◼
►
were saying the transitions between this
[TS]
00:23:40
◼
►
story and the next story work were these
[TS]
00:23:43
◼
►
seamless kind of you know he didn't it
[TS]
00:23:46
◼
►
wasn't a case where he just said well
[TS]
00:23:47
◼
►
then two years later I got another job
[TS]
00:23:49
◼
►
like it it all it all wove together it's
[TS]
00:23:53
◼
►
so much harder to do than it looks
[TS]
00:23:55
◼
►
incredibly hard to do and so I'm sitting
[TS]
00:23:57
◼
►
in the audience of these shows i'm
[TS]
00:23:59
◼
►
watching him work and I'm like okay he
[TS]
00:24:03
◼
►
has gone full circle from years and
[TS]
00:24:07
◼
►
years of standing up and saying you know
[TS]
00:24:10
◼
►
what's the deal with rutabagas and like
[TS]
00:24:15
◼
►
doing stand-up he's evolved and found
[TS]
00:24:19
◼
►
this long-form storytelling that is
[TS]
00:24:22
◼
►
that's really like a thing that I that I
[TS]
00:24:27
◼
►
do and have been doing my whole life
[TS]
00:24:29
◼
►
long form humorous storytelling taking
[TS]
00:24:32
◼
►
over a corner of a of a party and you
[TS]
00:24:36
◼
►
know and going on these sort of long
[TS]
00:24:38
◼
►
humorous digressions but he has but all
[TS]
00:24:42
◼
►
of the work he's done in comedy and all
[TS]
00:24:45
◼
►
his stage time and obviously the
[TS]
00:24:48
◼
►
preparation that's gone into making this
[TS]
00:24:50
◼
►
one show like it gives it allows him to
[TS]
00:24:55
◼
►
have the appearance of just
[TS]
00:24:57
◼
►
extemporaneously telling a story but he
[TS]
00:24:59
◼
►
knows every note of it and you know and
[TS]
00:25:05
◼
►
so he still allows for the opportunity
[TS]
00:25:09
◼
►
of chance right he can still he can
[TS]
00:25:12
◼
►
still respond to somebody in the crowd
[TS]
00:25:13
◼
►
he can still go off on a tangent but he
[TS]
00:25:16
◼
►
knows where all the lily pads are
[TS]
00:25:19
◼
►
and so watching it I was more than
[TS]
00:25:24
◼
►
anything I was like that is so outside
[TS]
00:25:26
◼
►
of my skill that here that is so above
[TS]
00:25:30
◼
►
my skill level what he's doing but I
[TS]
00:25:33
◼
►
recognize the framework and I mean this
[TS]
00:25:35
◼
►
is the danger that people have when they
[TS]
00:25:37
◼
►
watch a stand-up comic they're like I
[TS]
00:25:39
◼
►
could do that but like I could see the
[TS]
00:25:41
◼
►
architecture of it and I saw how much
[TS]
00:25:45
◼
►
how far I had to go how much I had to
[TS]
00:25:47
◼
►
learn and so for the last year I've
[TS]
00:25:51
◼
►
tried I've had multiple opportunities to
[TS]
00:25:54
◼
►
get up and do extemporaneous
[TS]
00:25:55
◼
►
storytelling and I've i have probably
[TS]
00:25:58
◼
►
done it now a dozen times where I've
[TS]
00:26:01
◼
►
gotten up and told a half-hour story
[TS]
00:26:02
◼
►
that I was making up off the top of my
[TS]
00:26:04
◼
►
head not the not the stories of course
[TS]
00:26:07
◼
►
they're all one hundred percent true
[TS]
00:26:09
◼
►
yes but the storytelling and now i
[TS]
00:26:13
◼
►
wanted i wanted to switch gears Merlin I
[TS]
00:26:16
◼
►
want to I want to I want to get better
[TS]
00:26:19
◼
►
at a thing where I am where I'm from
[TS]
00:26:23
◼
►
crafting a thing but I don't know how I
[TS]
00:26:29
◼
►
don't know what to do next and when you
[TS]
00:26:30
◼
►
try to ask paul f tompkins about it it's
[TS]
00:26:32
◼
►
like you know it's like asking a
[TS]
00:26:34
◼
►
magician to show you how to cut a lady
[TS]
00:26:36
◼
►
in half
[TS]
00:26:36
◼
►
he's like haha yes storytelling is funny
[TS]
00:26:39
◼
►
anyway I think it's something well first
[TS]
00:26:42
◼
►
of all I mean it's I i think it's high
[TS]
00:26:44
◼
►
time you did this
[TS]
00:26:45
◼
►
I'm glad you're doing this it's you know
[TS]
00:26:47
◼
►
i-i've been an advocate for a long time
[TS]
00:26:49
◼
►
for you realizing how talented new and
[TS]
00:26:51
◼
►
potentially gifted as horrible as a
[TS]
00:26:53
◼
►
human being is your that you are really
[TS]
00:26:55
◼
►
so awfully talented these things it's
[TS]
00:26:56
◼
►
nice to see you giving yourself the
[TS]
00:26:58
◼
►
chance to do that as nice to see we
[TS]
00:27:00
◼
►
appear onstage by yourself certain you
[TS]
00:27:03
◼
►
know if you're up there with a band and
[TS]
00:27:05
◼
►
rocking out if one is up there with the
[TS]
00:27:07
◼
►
band and rocking out that's one thing
[TS]
00:27:08
◼
►
and you know you could modulate your
[TS]
00:27:10
◼
►
performance for like how the sound in
[TS]
00:27:13
◼
►
the room is but you're not really i
[TS]
00:27:15
◼
►
don't know i feel like when I've done
[TS]
00:27:17
◼
►
music performances
[TS]
00:27:18
◼
►
I'm not changing that much based on like
[TS]
00:27:20
◼
►
how people's faces look on how they're
[TS]
00:27:22
◼
►
responding is not that much that I can't
[TS]
00:27:24
◼
►
even can change that much
[TS]
00:27:26
◼
►
it's so much changes when you're looking
[TS]
00:27:30
◼
►
at that audience we did our show we're
[TS]
00:27:31
◼
►
talking about this with these two shows
[TS]
00:27:33
◼
►
and just the chance to do this with you
[TS]
00:27:35
◼
►
in front of people I immediately
[TS]
00:27:36
◼
►
realized stuff we had to change the
[TS]
00:27:38
◼
►
second night not you know it's like a
[TS]
00:27:40
◼
►
bad way but like oh duh
[TS]
00:27:42
◼
►
there's a bunch of people in the
[TS]
00:27:43
◼
►
audience right and and like they're part
[TS]
00:27:45
◼
►
of the their part of the bit
[TS]
00:27:47
◼
►
yeah and we pretending they're not there
[TS]
00:27:48
◼
►
we can't now
[TS]
00:27:51
◼
►
no they won't go away they're still here
[TS]
00:27:54
◼
►
but that's I mean that's so silly but it
[TS]
00:27:56
◼
►
takes a certain amount of empathy and
[TS]
00:27:58
◼
►
the ability to open yourself up and
[TS]
00:28:00
◼
►
eventually I guess you open yourself up
[TS]
00:28:02
◼
►
in very selective ways when you get
[TS]
00:28:04
◼
►
really good once you get good at crafts
[TS]
00:28:06
◼
►
but it's it does take it certainly a
[TS]
00:28:09
◼
►
very different skill to call it just the
[TS]
00:28:11
◼
►
same kind of performing is was really
[TS]
00:28:13
◼
►
missing the point
[TS]
00:28:14
◼
►
it's a very different kind of much more
[TS]
00:28:15
◼
►
personal thing to be up there by
[TS]
00:28:17
◼
►
yourself having to carry the whole room
[TS]
00:28:20
◼
►
well and and and what was funny is about
[TS]
00:28:24
◼
►
halfway through the show I recognized
[TS]
00:28:26
◼
►
that I was adopting a kind of Todd Barry
[TS]
00:28:30
◼
►
like deadpan that that just to take Todd
[TS]
00:28:36
◼
►
Barry and paul f tompkins two examples
[TS]
00:28:38
◼
►
like Todd uses this this super low a
[TS]
00:28:43
◼
►
fact as a as a great sort of comedic
[TS]
00:28:48
◼
►
wedge and he becomes I i think i think
[TS]
00:28:55
◼
►
what i was seeing is that every comedian
[TS]
00:28:57
◼
►
I know every performer that gets up and
[TS]
00:29:00
◼
►
does a one-person show like they they
[TS]
00:29:03
◼
►
find a way to make their character
[TS]
00:29:06
◼
►
sympathetic make their make the person
[TS]
00:29:10
◼
►
onstage a person that everyone in the
[TS]
00:29:13
◼
►
audience can empathize with and so
[TS]
00:29:16
◼
►
somehow Todd Barry makes this like
[TS]
00:29:19
◼
►
really low a fact disagreeable uh you
[TS]
00:29:26
◼
►
a status conscious character that he
[TS]
00:29:29
◼
►
presents like you your ear on his side
[TS]
00:29:33
◼
►
right and and polished Tompkins is very
[TS]
00:29:37
◼
►
animated and friendly he appears to be a
[TS]
00:29:40
◼
►
guy that you would want to know and be
[TS]
00:29:42
◼
►
friends with who you're onstage want to
[TS]
00:29:46
◼
►
put them on a keychain you so cute he's
[TS]
00:29:49
◼
►
you're onstage thing when you give your
[TS]
00:29:51
◼
►
presentations at a you know I hear your
[TS]
00:29:54
◼
►
inbox zero presentations around in your
[TS]
00:29:56
◼
►
yeah when you get up on stage and do
[TS]
00:29:58
◼
►
your thing you know you
[TS]
00:30:00
◼
►
your character is like the guy that
[TS]
00:30:03
◼
►
everybody in the room who you know
[TS]
00:30:05
◼
►
wishes would come into their office and
[TS]
00:30:08
◼
►
and be there with them for an hour you
[TS]
00:30:11
◼
►
know like you are the one you're the guy
[TS]
00:30:12
◼
►
that they all want to be right and my
[TS]
00:30:17
◼
►
thing standing onstage with the rock
[TS]
00:30:19
◼
►
band like I the guitar and the song was
[TS]
00:30:26
◼
►
was so active and so there was so much
[TS]
00:30:30
◼
►
life in the music that then I could be
[TS]
00:30:35
◼
►
this kind of rye voice in between songs
[TS]
00:30:38
◼
►
where I would just you know I kind of
[TS]
00:30:40
◼
►
talk to the audience like this and this
[TS]
00:30:41
◼
►
voice just say oh you think that was
[TS]
00:30:44
◼
►
we'll look you don't you fucking shut up
[TS]
00:30:47
◼
►
for a second but and then go back into
[TS]
00:30:51
◼
►
the song was like yeah i am and the and
[TS]
00:30:54
◼
►
the attention and the contrast was was
[TS]
00:30:57
◼
►
exciting and it's part of why that
[TS]
00:30:59
◼
►
character worked but as I was doing this
[TS]
00:31:01
◼
►
our like I heard myself and and and was
[TS]
00:31:06
◼
►
conscious of this this persona where I'm
[TS]
00:31:12
◼
►
you know I'm kind of talking to the
[TS]
00:31:13
◼
►
audience like this for an hour and and
[TS]
00:31:18
◼
►
and it raised all these questions of
[TS]
00:31:21
◼
►
like well who is this guy like this
[TS]
00:31:24
◼
►
isn't this isn't how I'm this isn't how
[TS]
00:31:28
◼
►
I talk to my three-year-old
[TS]
00:31:30
◼
►
and this isn't you know and if I'm if
[TS]
00:31:34
◼
►
I'm standing somewhere and trying to get
[TS]
00:31:36
◼
►
a bunch of people's attention like I can
[TS]
00:31:38
◼
►
tell a very animated story but because I
[TS]
00:31:41
◼
►
have everyone's attention already in
[TS]
00:31:43
◼
►
this room and it's quiet room and
[TS]
00:31:45
◼
►
nobody's talking about me I'm you know
[TS]
00:31:47
◼
►
I'm all the way down here at this sort
[TS]
00:31:49
◼
►
of like and then so that anywhere then i
[TS]
00:31:51
◼
►
said this and then I said that and I was
[TS]
00:31:52
◼
►
like how do i need to divide it to turn
[TS]
00:31:55
◼
►
them turn the energy up a little bit on
[TS]
00:31:58
◼
►
me like be a little bit more excited
[TS]
00:32:01
◼
►
about my own story
[TS]
00:32:03
◼
►
I don't know that's another thing i need
[TS]
00:32:06
◼
►
two things I cannot bear to listen or
[TS]
00:32:10
◼
►
watch myself perform i should i should
[TS]
00:32:14
◼
►
be reviewing gameday tapes
[TS]
00:32:17
◼
►
yeah I should be watching these shows
[TS]
00:32:19
◼
►
and saying like oh that's that's the one
[TS]
00:32:22
◼
►
thing in mind I i really i can listen to
[TS]
00:32:24
◼
►
podcasts I've been on i can listen to
[TS]
00:32:26
◼
►
music I've done but I don't like
[TS]
00:32:27
◼
►
watching myself alone on stage doing a
[TS]
00:32:30
◼
►
thing and it's not embarrassing to me
[TS]
00:32:32
◼
►
but it does it makes me self-conscious
[TS]
00:32:35
◼
►
in a way that I'm not sure is good and I
[TS]
00:32:40
◼
►
mean it's I to me is how it feels in the
[TS]
00:32:42
◼
►
room you know it needs to feel a certain
[TS]
00:32:44
◼
►
way in the room and which means yes it
[TS]
00:32:46
◼
►
means that I need to feel a certain way
[TS]
00:32:48
◼
►
in the room but i think especially in
[TS]
00:32:49
◼
►
comedy quote-unquote comedy one of the
[TS]
00:32:52
◼
►
problems is that I don't know how to
[TS]
00:32:54
◼
►
describe this it's almost like people
[TS]
00:32:55
◼
►
think that they can win the room over by
[TS]
00:32:58
◼
►
controlling the temperature of the room
[TS]
00:33:00
◼
►
and making it hotter and colder right
[TS]
00:33:02
◼
►
she kind of also have to have these much
[TS]
00:33:04
◼
►
more subtle and ineffable qualities of
[TS]
00:33:06
◼
►
controlling the humidity and barometric
[TS]
00:33:07
◼
►
pressure there's this ability to like
[TS]
00:33:10
◼
►
it's like kegeling or something you
[TS]
00:33:12
◼
►
discover this mostly didn't even know
[TS]
00:33:14
◼
►
you had I tried killing and i discovered
[TS]
00:33:17
◼
►
i didn't have that most I think you have
[TS]
00:33:18
◼
►
to act like you're stopping or you can
[TS]
00:33:21
◼
►
get a little bar belt
[TS]
00:33:22
◼
►
I do that all the time i got like
[TS]
00:33:23
◼
►
stopping people just act like I'm
[TS]
00:33:25
◼
►
stopping
[TS]
00:33:27
◼
►
I keep eating sure you're not a Buddhist
[TS]
00:33:29
◼
►
haha what I can join the humidity there
[TS]
00:33:33
◼
►
what I what I do is I go into men's
[TS]
00:33:35
◼
►
rooms and I act like I'm stopping peeing
[TS]
00:33:37
◼
►
all of all the guys who have been
[TS]
00:33:38
◼
►
carrying a ladder and a bell and just
[TS]
00:33:40
◼
►
stand in the back and I'm like but it's
[TS]
00:33:47
◼
►
it's super interesting to me how you
[TS]
00:33:49
◼
►
know it's it's what makes me want to do
[TS]
00:33:51
◼
►
lots more live stuff because i know i
[TS]
00:33:53
◼
►
think i know what you're saying is that
[TS]
00:33:54
◼
►
you discover this this person emerging
[TS]
00:33:56
◼
►
through these little my new trial and
[TS]
00:33:58
◼
►
error things and I can only imagine how
[TS]
00:34:00
◼
►
much more I would learn if I did that
[TS]
00:34:02
◼
►
every week or every two weeks or
[TS]
00:34:03
◼
►
whatever you know where I feel like by
[TS]
00:34:05
◼
►
the time I'm ready to get off stage at
[TS]
00:34:07
◼
►
some kind of a live performance i think
[TS]
00:34:08
◼
►
im just barely starting to understand
[TS]
00:34:11
◼
►
I'm I'm loosening up that warming up and
[TS]
00:34:14
◼
►
I'm getting out of my own way and I'm
[TS]
00:34:16
◼
►
letting silence float when it needs to
[TS]
00:34:18
◼
►
float I'm knowing when to run out and do
[TS]
00:34:20
◼
►
something goofy but I but suddenly it
[TS]
00:34:23
◼
►
takes awhile for me because I don't do
[TS]
00:34:25
◼
►
it all the time where somebody like
[TS]
00:34:26
◼
►
politics or whomever can just walk out
[TS]
00:34:28
◼
►
and you know immediately they the energy
[TS]
00:34:31
◼
►
in the room changes when they come out
[TS]
00:34:33
◼
►
because there are presents they know
[TS]
00:34:34
◼
►
they are empathetic I don't have another
[TS]
00:34:36
◼
►
better word than that empathetic and
[TS]
00:34:38
◼
►
they can see themselves in the audience
[TS]
00:34:40
◼
►
watching it and knowing what they should
[TS]
00:34:42
◼
►
be doing and you know part of it is
[TS]
00:34:44
◼
►
probably that you can explain that to
[TS]
00:34:46
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somebody just got to go and do it a lot
[TS]
00:34:48
◼
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it's like that one Saturday morning when
[TS]
00:34:50
◼
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you wake up and can suddenly play bar
[TS]
00:34:51
◼
►
chords you can tell somebody put your
[TS]
00:34:53
◼
►
fingers here and then they can do a
[TS]
00:34:55
◼
►
whole bunch and eventually gets less
[TS]
00:34:56
◼
►
heart but honestly one day I could do a
[TS]
00:34:59
◼
►
barre chord the day before I couldn't i
[TS]
00:35:00
◼
►
don't know why but it was just I don't
[TS]
00:35:02
◼
►
know why was that Saturday rather than
[TS]
00:35:04
◼
►
the one before the one after but that
[TS]
00:35:05
◼
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was the difference because you know what
[TS]
00:35:07
◼
►
was the Grays out the the guys with the
[TS]
00:35:11
◼
►
alien guys have a great came into your
[TS]
00:35:13
◼
►
they said he's ready and they said let's
[TS]
00:35:15
◼
►
see let's upload the the matrix program
[TS]
00:35:18
◼
►
for our cords
[TS]
00:35:20
◼
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well apart though right well and so so
[TS]
00:35:24
◼
►
like a kurt braunohler do you know this
[TS]
00:35:27
◼
►
comedian he's a very funny comedian i
[TS]
00:35:31
◼
►
did a couple of shows with him in the
[TS]
00:35:33
◼
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fall where he got up in like cold in
[TS]
00:35:36
◼
►
front of a room that was it was one of
[TS]
00:35:38
◼
►
these shows like that is 10
[TS]
00:35:40
◼
►
sighs it was the wesley space the
[TS]
00:35:42
◼
►
cabinet of Wonders right it's like all
[TS]
00:35:45
◼
►
a british guys gonna get up and play to
[TS]
00:35:47
◼
►
folk songs and then there's going to be
[TS]
00:35:49
◼
►
a you know a guy who's playing wine
[TS]
00:35:52
◼
►
glasses and then there's gonna be an
[TS]
00:35:55
◼
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emoji then the juggler and Men the
[TS]
00:35:58
◼
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comedian gets five minutes and he walks
[TS]
00:36:01
◼
►
out and he you know ease in this
[TS]
00:36:04
◼
►
incredible position of trying to present
[TS]
00:36:08
◼
►
to the room like this casual comedian
[TS]
00:36:14
◼
►
effect where right away you're gonna
[TS]
00:36:18
◼
►
you're gonna be on board listening to
[TS]
00:36:19
◼
►
him tell his story and he also was doing
[TS]
00:36:24
◼
►
this what i can only think is like a new
[TS]
00:36:28
◼
►
movement in comedy which is like a funny
[TS]
00:36:30
◼
►
thing happened to me on the way over
[TS]
00:36:31
◼
►
here and told the story you know 10
[TS]
00:36:35
◼
►
minute long story that was that again
[TS]
00:36:38
◼
►
had all these elements of of joke making
[TS]
00:36:42
◼
►
that that was ever that showed 10 years
[TS]
00:36:46
◼
►
in the comedy trenches or longer of kind
[TS]
00:36:49
◼
►
of nowhere jokes and annoying how jokes
[TS]
00:36:51
◼
►
live but the framework of it was just
[TS]
00:36:57
◼
►
the anecdotal story telling and so
[TS]
00:37:03
◼
►
there's all this there's all this work
[TS]
00:37:06
◼
►
that's ever that's obviously gone into
[TS]
00:37:08
◼
►
this art form that they done the work so
[TS]
00:37:12
◼
►
now they can forget it and I have done a
[TS]
00:37:16
◼
►
lot of that work but it's it's a
[TS]
00:37:20
◼
►
patchwork quilt and so these shows the
[TS]
00:37:24
◼
►
this last show that I did and then my
[TS]
00:37:26
◼
►
goal for the shows for the next six
[TS]
00:37:28
◼
►
months is to is to get up there and and
[TS]
00:37:33
◼
►
really you know like I a lot of people
[TS]
00:37:35
◼
►
congratulating me after the show
[TS]
00:37:37
◼
►
everybody was very happy obviously
[TS]
00:37:38
◼
►
everybody that was there bought a ticket
[TS]
00:37:40
◼
►
to the next one or more they they call
[TS]
00:37:44
◼
►
their friends and said I can't go but
[TS]
00:37:45
◼
►
you should or whatever like it's like
[TS]
00:37:48
◼
►
selling tickets isn't isn't something
[TS]
00:37:50
◼
►
I'm worried about at least for now
[TS]
00:37:53
◼
►
so I have the opportunity to get up
[TS]
00:37:55
◼
►
there and failed but my god getting up
[TS]
00:37:57
◼
►
and failing is not fun even if you know
[TS]
00:38:00
◼
►
everybody in the room is like doesn't
[TS]
00:38:02
◼
►
matter to us go for it and that was that
[TS]
00:38:05
◼
►
was just good let me get that you get
[TS]
00:38:08
◼
►
that well
[TS]
00:38:09
◼
►
oh yeah that was good that was good i
[TS]
00:38:11
◼
►
mean you know there were a couple like
[TS]
00:38:12
◼
►
yeah that that story went a little long
[TS]
00:38:15
◼
►
but you know it was really good like
[TS]
00:38:17
◼
►
fuck you
[TS]
00:38:18
◼
►
but-but-but I expected it you know and
[TS]
00:38:22
◼
►
even even the guy from the guy from the
[TS]
00:38:24
◼
►
robber who runs the AV the dude up
[TS]
00:38:28
◼
►
I mean there's one microphone right so
[TS]
00:38:29
◼
►
he's up there is just got his hand on
[TS]
00:38:30
◼
►
the fader through the whole show one
[TS]
00:38:32
◼
►
fader but like he came back right
[TS]
00:38:35
◼
►
afterwards i'm sitting in the backstage
[TS]
00:38:37
◼
►
area he came back to sharpen his pencil
[TS]
00:38:40
◼
►
or something and and i'm looking at this
[TS]
00:38:45
◼
►
guy for some kind of validation like
[TS]
00:38:47
◼
►
well well you know I don't know your
[TS]
00:38:50
◼
►
name but tell me how i did and he's just
[TS]
00:38:53
◼
►
he's just one around back there like me
[TS]
00:38:54
◼
►
anything right and it needed anything
[TS]
00:38:57
◼
►
and I'm like no I'm going to me is like
[TS]
00:38:58
◼
►
okay and he walks out I'm like fuck the
[TS]
00:39:02
◼
►
thumbs-up no nothing
[TS]
00:39:03
◼
►
fuck i didn't win that guy like I
[TS]
00:39:06
◼
►
changed my life over funny to me that
[TS]
00:39:08
◼
►
you would feel that way that's so funny
[TS]
00:39:10
◼
►
you know it's terrible but but but also
[TS]
00:39:12
◼
►
i'm also i'm also monitoring myself a
[TS]
00:39:16
◼
►
through the whole process run like okay
[TS]
00:39:18
◼
►
calm calm down now Richard Pryor like
[TS]
00:39:23
◼
►
you just did one show rate and the AV
[TS]
00:39:26
◼
►
guy didn't put a Hawaiian lei around
[TS]
00:39:30
◼
►
your neck you're fine just
[TS]
00:39:32
◼
►
I got upset and so philosophical of
[TS]
00:39:35
◼
►
about this i mean you did your daughter
[TS]
00:39:37
◼
►
walks right she walk around
[TS]
00:39:39
◼
►
oh she likes to walk so yeah it's
[TS]
00:39:41
◼
►
actually see if Walker goes from here to
[TS]
00:39:43
◼
►
there but you know the first time that a
[TS]
00:39:45
◼
►
child this is the ultimate obvious
[TS]
00:39:47
◼
►
on-the-nose analogy because that's not
[TS]
00:39:50
◼
►
even an analogy but the first time you
[TS]
00:39:52
◼
►
know kid tries to walk for a really long
[TS]
00:39:53
◼
►
time and falls down and you applaud them
[TS]
00:39:55
◼
►
for for trying to walk and eventually
[TS]
00:39:57
◼
►
one day another good-looking get up your
[TS]
00:40:03
◼
►
get up look at this chart but you know
[TS]
00:40:06
◼
►
where you don't want to live buddy 48
[TS]
00:40:08
◼
►
percentile that is no place to live
[TS]
00:40:11
◼
►
my mom wrote down the the day that I
[TS]
00:40:13
◼
►
first walked and you are two percent
[TS]
00:40:16
◼
►
behind already
[TS]
00:40:19
◼
►
but you know eventually one day the kid
[TS]
00:40:21
◼
►
the kid walks for a while and you free
[TS]
00:40:23
◼
►
cuz you're like oh my god this is great
[TS]
00:40:24
◼
►
it's great it's great and then for a
[TS]
00:40:26
◼
►
long time
[TS]
00:40:26
◼
►
the kid doesn't walk very well but the
[TS]
00:40:28
◼
►
kid walks and then eventually the kid
[TS]
00:40:30
◼
►
walks and so on and so forth and I I
[TS]
00:40:32
◼
►
that's kind of how i feel about a lot of
[TS]
00:40:35
◼
►
performance where I used to really I
[TS]
00:40:38
◼
►
don't know it's not even superstition I
[TS]
00:40:39
◼
►
kind of don't like talking to people
[TS]
00:40:40
◼
►
about what i just did it feels it feels
[TS]
00:40:43
◼
►
undignified I i like it when people
[TS]
00:40:46
◼
►
complicated like it makes me feel good
[TS]
00:40:47
◼
►
but I don't want to parse it I don't
[TS]
00:40:49
◼
►
it's just it's done it's done now and
[TS]
00:40:51
◼
►
like for me it's just a matter of doing
[TS]
00:40:53
◼
►
that over and over and over and I got to
[TS]
00:40:55
◼
►
a point where like you know I didn't
[TS]
00:40:57
◼
►
worry about what the sound guy thought
[TS]
00:40:58
◼
►
and when doing like you know talks and
[TS]
00:41:00
◼
►
stuff and it made me it made me a
[TS]
00:41:02
◼
►
happier person I would it also made me I
[TS]
00:41:04
◼
►
think a little bit better at kind of the
[TS]
00:41:08
◼
►
trend that I mean obviously you're way
[TS]
00:41:10
◼
►
more performant I'll ever be
[TS]
00:41:11
◼
►
but at the same time like there's
[TS]
00:41:12
◼
►
something nice about getting the point
[TS]
00:41:14
◼
►
where you go thanks I'm glad you enjoyed
[TS]
00:41:15
◼
►
it and then you you know going to the
[TS]
00:41:16
◼
►
next thing but for me like I kind of
[TS]
00:41:20
◼
►
felt like that person who can I can walk
[TS]
00:41:22
◼
►
and I can walk pretty well and make it
[TS]
00:41:24
◼
►
can walk a little bit fancy sometimes
[TS]
00:41:25
◼
►
but it's just a matter of doing the
[TS]
00:41:27
◼
►
walking every day just doing that every
[TS]
00:41:29
◼
►
every every every day and eventually
[TS]
00:41:31
◼
►
like I'll know what I'm good it won't
[TS]
00:41:33
◼
►
matter i'm glad you liked it but what
[TS]
00:41:35
◼
►
matters is whether i think it's good and
[TS]
00:41:37
◼
►
when I know it's good it won't matter if
[TS]
00:41:39
◼
►
you didn't like it
[TS]
00:41:40
◼
►
that's to me that's kind of that's the
[TS]
00:41:42
◼
►
the good place to be not to be arrogant
[TS]
00:41:44
◼
►
but you know same thing again just we're
[TS]
00:41:46
◼
►
back the whole check your privilege
[TS]
00:41:47
◼
►
thing like if you actually are good at
[TS]
00:41:48
◼
►
something it's it's it's like Harrison
[TS]
00:41:53
◼
►
Bergeron you know like nobody's allowed
[TS]
00:41:55
◼
►
to be good at anything
[TS]
00:41:57
◼
►
Walker you certainly aren't aware you
[TS]
00:41:59
◼
►
sure are a lot to be aware if you're
[TS]
00:42:01
◼
►
good but if you get to a point where you
[TS]
00:42:02
◼
►
like don't need to glance across
[TS]
00:42:04
◼
►
everybody in the room to find out
[TS]
00:42:05
◼
►
whether you're happy with how you did
[TS]
00:42:07
◼
►
what you did because it's what you do
[TS]
00:42:09
◼
►
and you just keep going out and doing it
[TS]
00:42:10
◼
►
it's you know it makes me really want to
[TS]
00:42:13
◼
►
do that stuff more to get to where I it
[TS]
00:42:16
◼
►
really is about you know the crafters
[TS]
00:42:18
◼
►
and there's always going to be another
[TS]
00:42:19
◼
►
one that's the thing you're always going
[TS]
00:42:21
◼
►
to do more of these right well and this
[TS]
00:42:23
◼
►
was the thing that I mean watching Paul
[TS]
00:42:26
◼
►
Tompkins tell them tell his do is show a
[TS]
00:42:28
◼
►
couple years ago I was very very
[TS]
00:42:31
◼
►
conscious that the the apparent ease and
[TS]
00:42:37
◼
►
effortlessness of his work
[TS]
00:42:39
◼
►
surely every night invites 5 to 10
[TS]
00:42:43
◼
►
people to come up to him in the bar
[TS]
00:42:45
◼
►
afterwards and talk to him about their
[TS]
00:42:47
◼
►
storytelling talents you know I mean
[TS]
00:42:50
◼
►
like it seems so easy and so so people
[TS]
00:42:57
◼
►
are duped into thinking it's easy and so
[TS]
00:43:00
◼
►
I was very careful not to
[TS]
00:43:04
◼
►
and the problem was it's impossible
[TS]
00:43:05
◼
►
because I'm standing there with Paul
[TS]
00:43:07
◼
►
afterwards and I want to tell him about
[TS]
00:43:09
◼
►
how i like to tell stories and how the
[TS]
00:43:11
◼
►
how inspirational this was I recognize
[TS]
00:43:14
◼
►
that that that he hears it all the time
[TS]
00:43:18
◼
►
and unlike guitar playing and rock
[TS]
00:43:20
◼
►
banding like you get off the stage at a
[TS]
00:43:22
◼
►
at a rock concert yeah they're going to
[TS]
00:43:24
◼
►
be five or six guys that come up and
[TS]
00:43:25
◼
►
talk to you about their band but there
[TS]
00:43:28
◼
►
are so many things you have to do before
[TS]
00:43:31
◼
►
your band is headlining a show that you
[TS]
00:43:34
◼
►
can listen to a guy talk about his band
[TS]
00:43:36
◼
►
his guitar playing and all the things
[TS]
00:43:37
◼
►
that all his aspirations and then at the
[TS]
00:43:40
◼
►
end you can kind of just you know pat
[TS]
00:43:41
◼
►
him on the shoulder and go well good
[TS]
00:43:43
◼
►
luck buddy i hope good things happen to
[TS]
00:43:45
◼
►
your band but with storytelling that
[TS]
00:43:50
◼
►
Eugene Mirman anecdote about you know
[TS]
00:43:53
◼
►
that was really good now good for 10
[TS]
00:43:55
◼
►
years exactly go do it for 10 years and
[TS]
00:43:57
◼
►
the other thing about it is the
[TS]
00:43:58
◼
►
of entry to get up in front of a crowd
[TS]
00:44:00
◼
►
and hold the microphone in your hand
[TS]
00:44:01
◼
►
there is none like anybody can do it
[TS]
00:44:04
◼
►
anybody can stand take that first step
[TS]
00:44:06
◼
►
onto the stage holding a microphone and
[TS]
00:44:08
◼
►
the question is do does the audience
[TS]
00:44:10
◼
►
leave an hour later entertained so so
[TS]
00:44:16
◼
►
when I walked off the stage at the other
[TS]
00:44:19
◼
►
night and people wanted to talk to me
[TS]
00:44:25
◼
►
about it as much as I as much as I in a
[TS]
00:44:32
◼
►
wanted feedback I didn't need any ever
[TS]
00:44:35
◼
►
and what I kept playing in my own head
[TS]
00:44:39
◼
►
what other what I kept going back to
[TS]
00:44:42
◼
►
because you know i wanted i want to
[TS]
00:44:43
◼
►
criticize my own show and turn it into a
[TS]
00:44:46
◼
►
pile of what wet ashes
[TS]
00:44:49
◼
►
that's my instinct like to go through
[TS]
00:44:51
◼
►
each moment of the show and be like when
[TS]
00:44:54
◼
►
ashes or wet ashes who went ashes what
[TS]
00:45:01
◼
►
you know what I kept saying to myself as
[TS]
00:45:03
◼
►
I'm sitting backstage was a year ago you
[TS]
00:45:08
◼
►
were superior like massively depressed
[TS]
00:45:12
◼
►
you were 40 pounds overweight and the
[TS]
00:45:17
◼
►
prospect of actually getting up onstage
[TS]
00:45:20
◼
►
actually booking a show and following
[TS]
00:45:22
◼
►
through on it was like an insurmountable
[TS]
00:45:26
◼
►
obstacle you couldn't imagine doing it
[TS]
00:45:29
◼
►
and four months ago you said you set
[TS]
00:45:36
◼
►
some some goal and in a way like the
[TS]
00:45:39
◼
►
first time I ever first time in a very
[TS]
00:45:41
◼
►
long time actually wrote a goal down on
[TS]
00:45:43
◼
►
a piece of paper and it was a little
[TS]
00:45:46
◼
►
handful of of goals that all that all
[TS]
00:45:50
◼
►
dovetailed with each other like find an
[TS]
00:45:52
◼
►
assistant renting office space book a
[TS]
00:45:56
◼
►
weekly show and in the in the tension
[TS]
00:46:02
◼
►
and the anxiety leading up to this first
[TS]
00:46:04
◼
►
show it was very difficult to to take
[TS]
00:46:08
◼
►
pride in having taken any of those steps
[TS]
00:46:11
◼
►
because it seemed like oh sure you got
[TS]
00:46:14
◼
►
an office but the but they put some
[TS]
00:46:16
◼
►
chemical sealant on the floor and you
[TS]
00:46:17
◼
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can't be in there because it gives you
[TS]
00:46:18
◼
►
allergies and you know yeah you said
[TS]
00:46:21
◼
►
about trying to find an assistant but
[TS]
00:46:22
◼
►
now now you have for assistance and it's
[TS]
00:46:25
◼
►
and and like three times the anxiety and
[TS]
00:46:30
◼
►
oh you book to show sure but but between
[TS]
00:46:33
◼
►
now and when the show starts
[TS]
00:46:35
◼
►
maybe your pants are going to catch on
[TS]
00:46:36
◼
►
fire or maybe the world is going to come
[TS]
00:46:38
◼
►
to an end and sitting backstage what I
[TS]
00:46:41
◼
►
was a lot what I was allowing myself was
[TS]
00:46:44
◼
►
in fact you have you have accomplished
[TS]
00:46:46
◼
►
the goals that you set out to do
[TS]
00:46:49
◼
►
well you have to give yourself that you
[TS]
00:46:53
◼
►
allow yourself in that moment I was like
[TS]
00:46:55
◼
►
do not do not turn the show that you
[TS]
00:46:58
◼
►
just did it too wet ashes now is the
[TS]
00:47:00
◼
►
time to reflect on the fact that you
[TS]
00:47:02
◼
►
have an office you have you have an
[TS]
00:47:05
◼
►
assistant in fact you have two
[TS]
00:47:08
◼
►
assistants and maybe about two
[TS]
00:47:11
◼
►
assistants maybe maybe more i'm a
[TS]
00:47:13
◼
►
manager or two of the assistants I
[TS]
00:47:16
◼
►
haven't met yet
[TS]
00:47:17
◼
►
I've definitely met two of my assistant
[TS]
00:47:20
◼
►
and most importantly you have you have
[TS]
00:47:25
◼
►
you booked a weekly show and you have
[TS]
00:47:27
◼
►
now done the first one so no matter what
[TS]
00:47:30
◼
►
happened if I it if you know and and the
[TS]
00:47:34
◼
►
fact is like not only did the show but
[TS]
00:47:36
◼
►
like succeeded at it if I'd gotten up
[TS]
00:47:40
◼
►
there and just stuttered for an hour I
[TS]
00:47:44
◼
►
could be proud of having taken all those
[TS]
00:47:47
◼
►
steps and in fact I got up and I
[TS]
00:47:48
◼
►
entertained the crowd and everybody
[TS]
00:47:49
◼
►
laughed and sold out the next one
[TS]
00:47:53
◼
►
well and so that was before I knew that
[TS]
00:47:54
◼
►
right and so I was sitting there and I
[TS]
00:47:57
◼
►
was like listen maybe you're gonna sell
[TS]
00:47:58
◼
►
20 tickets to the next show in advance
[TS]
00:48:00
◼
►
and then you're going to have to promote
[TS]
00:48:03
◼
►
it and get you know put 50 more people
[TS]
00:48:05
◼
►
in there but that's not going to be hard
[TS]
00:48:06
◼
►
to do and over time this will build and
[TS]
00:48:10
◼
►
at some point there will be a long five
[TS]
00:48:12
◼
►
months from now and you'll only see and
[TS]
00:48:14
◼
►
nobody will come but you just keep doing
[TS]
00:48:18
◼
►
this is the this is the trail and a year
[TS]
00:48:23
◼
►
from now you will know a year from now
[TS]
00:48:26
◼
►
something will have revealed itself and
[TS]
00:48:30
◼
►
so I allowed myself that and and and
[TS]
00:48:33
◼
►
everytime everytime the voice came into
[TS]
00:48:35
◼
►
my head that was like you know that you
[TS]
00:48:37
◼
►
butchered the show last night and
[TS]
00:48:39
◼
►
everyone in the room that used to be a
[TS]
00:48:41
◼
►
fan of yours now realizes that you are
[TS]
00:48:43
◼
►
charlatans every time that happened that
[TS]
00:48:47
◼
►
voice speaks with a lot of battery am at
[TS]
00:48:49
◼
►
my house every day it's very hard for me
[TS]
00:48:51
◼
►
to to to describe that that character
[TS]
00:48:54
◼
►
because he speaks Welsh but yea right
[TS]
00:48:58
◼
►
that is the that every time that voice
[TS]
00:49:00
◼
►
came into my head I just repeated that
[TS]
00:49:01
◼
►
little like I a year ago we had hoped
[TS]
00:49:06
◼
►
Bob Hope and steve jobs and johnny cash
[TS]
00:49:09
◼
►
and now we have up we have up a
[TS]
00:49:14
◼
►
basically a group of assistance unusable
[TS]
00:49:18
◼
►
office space but you have done this show
[TS]
00:49:20
◼
►
will you use the gold first of all
[TS]
00:49:22
◼
►
congratulations i don't make it about my
[TS]
00:49:24
◼
►
congratulations and but also that the
[TS]
00:49:25
◼
►
thing about a goal is and three girls
[TS]
00:49:27
◼
►
are stupid is that most times people let
[TS]
00:49:30
◼
►
the goal becomes the goal the goal is
[TS]
00:49:32
◼
►
this thing that they basically carven
[TS]
00:49:34
◼
►
stone sometimes having absolutely no
[TS]
00:49:37
◼
►
reason and no credibility to make that
[TS]
00:49:39
◼
►
goal that I probably most people i think
[TS]
00:49:41
◼
►
is people are all into these goals and I
[TS]
00:49:43
◼
►
think the real productive if they got a
[TS]
00:49:44
◼
►
goal my goal is to corner of the solar
[TS]
00:49:47
◼
►
yeah yeah within three months but it's
[TS]
00:49:49
◼
►
the same but like I'm just biting my lip
[TS]
00:49:52
◼
►
to not going to put on my merlin hat
[TS]
00:49:54
◼
►
because there's so much about this that
[TS]
00:49:55
◼
►
is why people beat up on themselves and
[TS]
00:49:57
◼
►
end up not not not even not succeeding
[TS]
00:49:59
◼
►
that even trying like thinking it's easy
[TS]
00:50:01
◼
►
well yeah it's just the only people who
[TS]
00:50:02
◼
►
think something is easy or people who
[TS]
00:50:04
◼
►
haven't done it yet
[TS]
00:50:05
◼
►
anybody who's actually done anything
[TS]
00:50:06
◼
►
knows that nothing is easy it's only
[TS]
00:50:08
◼
►
easy after it stopped being hard and
[TS]
00:50:11
◼
►
it's not you know you and the thing is
[TS]
00:50:12
◼
►
nobody there is a new thing that's hard
[TS]
00:50:14
◼
►
absolutely there will be five new things
[TS]
00:50:16
◼
►
that are hard that's called growth and
[TS]
00:50:17
◼
►
the thing is sitting in a bar and
[TS]
00:50:19
◼
►
talking about this thing that's easy we
[TS]
00:50:20
◼
►
do you been doing that for 15 years
[TS]
00:50:22
◼
►
not you but I'm
[TS]
00:50:23
◼
►
like somebody's they're all this is easy
[TS]
00:50:25
◼
►
ok then why you sit around a bar talking
[TS]
00:50:27
◼
►
about how easy it is like what have you
[TS]
00:50:29
◼
►
done and that's and so the problem with
[TS]
00:50:31
◼
►
all those things this horrible
[TS]
00:50:32
◼
►
disconnect between where you think it
[TS]
00:50:34
◼
►
should be where you actually are and
[TS]
00:50:36
◼
►
where you can reasonably expect to be in
[TS]
00:50:37
◼
►
some amount of time so having a goal is
[TS]
00:50:39
◼
►
is so I think it's so valuable if it's a
[TS]
00:50:42
◼
►
goal that you're also allowing to have a
[TS]
00:50:45
◼
►
little air to it so I mean first of all
[TS]
00:50:47
◼
►
congratulations that you got this
[TS]
00:50:48
◼
►
bizarre that's pretty locked feat given
[TS]
00:50:50
◼
►
where you have been that's pretty
[TS]
00:50:52
◼
►
amazing with you in the troll that you
[TS]
00:50:53
◼
►
can get that far but also it's important
[TS]
00:50:55
◼
►
just always remember that a goal is
[TS]
00:50:56
◼
►
useful in as much as it keeps you moving
[TS]
00:50:58
◼
►
forward if the goal ever stops making
[TS]
00:51:01
◼
►
you move forward
[TS]
00:51:03
◼
►
you've missed the point of the goal the
[TS]
00:51:04
◼
►
goal is to make you show up every day
[TS]
00:51:06
◼
►
and to work really hard into the right
[TS]
00:51:08
◼
►
thing it doesn't mean now you become
[TS]
00:51:09
◼
►
some dumbass you stop taking a new
[TS]
00:51:11
◼
►
information or stops realizing that
[TS]
00:51:13
◼
►
you're trying to corner a non-existent
[TS]
00:51:14
◼
►
silver market
[TS]
00:51:15
◼
►
yeah that's the beauty part it's
[TS]
00:51:17
◼
►
whatever if that's the thing about a
[TS]
00:51:18
◼
►
hack that's the thing that gets you off
[TS]
00:51:20
◼
►
your ass and make sure you go out there
[TS]
00:51:22
◼
►
and do it every day until you understand
[TS]
00:51:24
◼
►
that enough to have a reasonable goal
[TS]
00:51:25
◼
►
that's why people don't get anywhere
[TS]
00:51:27
◼
►
right is they sit there they sit there
[TS]
00:51:29
◼
►
in their little pile of shit and talk
[TS]
00:51:31
◼
►
about how easy this should be and never
[TS]
00:51:33
◼
►
do anything to try and reconcile all
[TS]
00:51:35
◼
►
these possibilities they've introduced
[TS]
00:51:37
◼
►
into their life and they think the way
[TS]
00:51:39
◼
►
out of that is to come up with more
[TS]
00:51:40
◼
►
possibilities and then beam and
[TS]
00:51:41
◼
►
everybody because they didn't work out
[TS]
00:51:43
◼
►
quite well and and and and reflecting
[TS]
00:51:48
◼
►
back on how difficult it was like my
[TS]
00:51:52
◼
►
process since since we started talking
[TS]
00:51:54
◼
►
about this
[TS]
00:51:57
◼
►
not very many months ago I don't
[TS]
00:51:59
◼
►
remember what where when the debut of
[TS]
00:52:01
◼
►
the idea that i needed an assistant was
[TS]
00:52:04
◼
►
but it wasn't that blog now problem
[TS]
00:52:06
◼
►
could be much earlier than like holidays
[TS]
00:52:08
◼
►
fight last four months right
[TS]
00:52:09
◼
►
and the idea of asking for help was a
[TS]
00:52:14
◼
►
was an incredible obstacle to overcome
[TS]
00:52:16
◼
►
like I didn't know even who to ask for
[TS]
00:52:20
◼
►
help I didn't know how to ask for help
[TS]
00:52:22
◼
►
and having asked for it and then getting
[TS]
00:52:25
◼
►
a response from people and in and in
[TS]
00:52:27
◼
►
fact you know i don't know if i told you
[TS]
00:52:30
◼
►
that the the the way the assistant sign
[TS]
00:52:32
◼
►
now I heard about your
[TS]
00:52:35
◼
►
had like a medical assistant for a while
[TS]
00:52:36
◼
►
right well what happened was
[TS]
00:52:38
◼
►
that's why i said i have phrased that
[TS]
00:52:40
◼
►
poorly but you had an assistant manager
[TS]
00:52:41
◼
►
meaning you had someone who wanted to be
[TS]
00:52:43
◼
►
a manager of people who might be your
[TS]
00:52:45
◼
►
assistant right well so so so I I the
[TS]
00:52:49
◼
►
first thing i did was i called a my and
[TS]
00:52:51
◼
►
your good friend Adam practica who has
[TS]
00:52:55
◼
►
been working at he's a model of of a
[TS]
00:52:58
◼
►
task completion he's been working on the
[TS]
00:53:00
◼
►
long winters documentary for 15 years
[TS]
00:53:02
◼
►
hiya that said Adam like you know a lot
[TS]
00:53:07
◼
►
of people who are who are you know fans
[TS]
00:53:11
◼
►
of the long winters and sort of enemies
[TS]
00:53:14
◼
►
he is one dimension kind of away
[TS]
00:53:19
◼
►
he's one dimension away from me because
[TS]
00:53:21
◼
►
he's not me and he knows a lot of people
[TS]
00:53:23
◼
►
and I said who you know I need some help
[TS]
00:53:26
◼
►
finding an assistant can you think of
[TS]
00:53:28
◼
►
anybody and he recommended a couple of
[TS]
00:53:30
◼
►
people and I was thinking about like how
[TS]
00:53:32
◼
►
do I don't like all these people that i
[TS]
00:53:34
◼
►
know not very well and ask if they want
[TS]
00:53:37
◼
►
to work for me it's like you can't find
[TS]
00:53:39
◼
►
the number to call the optometrist
[TS]
00:53:41
◼
►
because you don't have glasses exactly
[TS]
00:53:43
◼
►
and so I called another friend of of
[TS]
00:53:47
◼
►
mine and of atoms Victoria Victoria van
[TS]
00:53:51
◼
►
bruna see who is an office manager for a
[TS]
00:53:53
◼
►
non-profit a very very capable like a
[TS]
00:53:58
◼
►
active sort of person and a and a
[TS]
00:54:02
◼
►
go-getter like a like get things done
[TS]
00:54:05
◼
►
kind of person she's the one who took
[TS]
00:54:07
◼
►
she's a photographer but she also kind
[TS]
00:54:09
◼
►
of put together how show that i played
[TS]
00:54:12
◼
►
here that that Adam film that's online
[TS]
00:54:14
◼
►
you a victorious somebody when she gets
[TS]
00:54:17
◼
►
an idea that sweet a little story and
[TS]
00:54:19
◼
►
sing the song exactly i was really good
[TS]
00:54:21
◼
►
yeah and that was victorious kind of
[TS]
00:54:23
◼
►
brain child and it happened at her house
[TS]
00:54:25
◼
►
and so I called Victoria and I was like
[TS]
00:54:28
◼
►
Adam gave me the names of a couple of
[TS]
00:54:30
◼
►
people that I think should be my
[TS]
00:54:32
◼
►
assistant
[TS]
00:54:33
◼
►
what do you think of these people and
[TS]
00:54:35
◼
►
Victoria said well I that girl would be
[TS]
00:54:38
◼
►
good except she's really busy and that
[TS]
00:54:41
◼
►
other person I don't think that they
[TS]
00:54:44
◼
►
would be very good because of some
[TS]
00:54:46
◼
►
I was like oh ok she said that she's
[TS]
00:54:49
◼
►
gonna dick cheney you she said said I'll
[TS]
00:54:53
◼
►
find your vice president 05 you a vice
[TS]
00:54:55
◼
►
president is what she said and so she
[TS]
00:54:58
◼
►
started to do the thing that I that I
[TS]
00:55:01
◼
►
always desperately need the thing that
[TS]
00:55:03
◼
►
my dad's executive secretary used to do
[TS]
00:55:06
◼
►
which is she would call me or send me an
[TS]
00:55:08
◼
►
email or text me and say well why don't
[TS]
00:55:11
◼
►
you just tell me the five things that
[TS]
00:55:12
◼
►
you need and so I would kind of i would
[TS]
00:55:15
◼
►
reply and it took me sometimes two weeks
[TS]
00:55:19
◼
►
to reply but she never got impatient you
[TS]
00:55:24
◼
►
know she just said yeah justjust you
[TS]
00:55:27
◼
►
know i'm just reminding you you need to
[TS]
00:55:29
◼
►
tell me the five things that you need
[TS]
00:55:30
◼
►
and through this process she came up
[TS]
00:55:33
◼
►
with an ad i talked about it on the
[TS]
00:55:35
◼
►
podcast a dozen or more people applied
[TS]
00:55:38
◼
►
for the job of my assistant Victoria
[TS]
00:55:43
◼
►
vetted all the applications she cheap
[TS]
00:55:46
◼
►
hopefully communicated with all dozen
[TS]
00:55:48
◼
►
people may be multiple times and then
[TS]
00:55:51
◼
►
after a two-month long process
[TS]
00:55:54
◼
►
she said I think the best candidate is
[TS]
00:55:58
◼
►
me she literally dick cheney that and I
[TS]
00:56:04
◼
►
said oh alright uh you have a office job
[TS]
00:56:10
◼
►
you are all you already have too much to
[TS]
00:56:12
◼
►
do and she said well this is the thing I
[TS]
00:56:13
◼
►
think the best candidate is me to find
[TS]
00:56:18
◼
►
you a better candidate one day or maybe
[TS]
00:56:24
◼
►
to evolve this job into a job that
[TS]
00:56:27
◼
►
enables me to one day do this job so
[TS]
00:56:31
◼
►
what she is saying is i am your
[TS]
00:56:34
◼
►
assistant until I am either your
[TS]
00:56:38
◼
►
assistant or until i have grown an
[TS]
00:56:42
◼
►
assistant from mud that I take from the
[TS]
00:56:45
◼
►
beach of life or until I am your I don't
[TS]
00:56:49
◼
►
know I and it's and the thing is at
[TS]
00:56:53
◼
►
every step of the way my instinct to
[TS]
00:56:55
◼
►
micromanage the process I resisted it
[TS]
00:56:59
◼
►
are you that's the whole point that's
[TS]
00:57:01
◼
►
the idea what that is step one step
[TS]
00:57:03
◼
►
you're moving up the Buddhist assistant
[TS]
00:57:05
◼
►
ladder because Victoria was doing a lot
[TS]
00:57:07
◼
►
of great stuff and so I was just like I
[TS]
00:57:11
◼
►
am going to be quiet now and i am not
[TS]
00:57:16
◼
►
going to i'm not going to jump in here
[TS]
00:57:18
◼
►
i'm not going to tell Victoria that she
[TS]
00:57:20
◼
►
can't do the thing that she's trying to
[TS]
00:57:22
◼
►
do I'm going to allow her to find her
[TS]
00:57:25
◼
►
own course here and so she found sochi
[TS]
00:57:29
◼
►
of all the assistance that she had
[TS]
00:57:31
◼
►
interviewed there was one who lived in
[TS]
00:57:33
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denver whose name was Bailey McCann and
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00:57:36
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then we can manage the chain of coffee
[TS]
00:57:38
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shops in Denver but did not want to do
[TS]
00:57:40
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that anymore and wanted to live in
[TS]
00:57:43
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Seattle and she and Victoria struck up a
[TS]
00:57:46
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friendship online and I was like this is
[TS]
00:57:50
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an unusual interview process because it
[TS]
00:57:54
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seems like you guys are staying up all
[TS]
00:57:56
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night talking on the phone and giggling
[TS]
00:57:59
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but again I am stepping out I'm stepping
[TS]
00:58:02
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away not out just stepping back now
[TS]
00:58:05
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bailey has moved to Seattle she has quit
[TS]
00:58:08
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her job jobs in denver has moved here
[TS]
00:58:12
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and is sleeping on Victorious couch and
[TS]
00:58:16
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the two of them
[TS]
00:58:17
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this sounds like something something on
[TS]
00:58:19
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on cable TV
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00:58:20
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this well as I said the other day worst
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00:58:22
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porn ever it is it's called it's called
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00:58:27
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a little assistance
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00:58:29
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yeah assistant search that org but let
[TS]
00:58:35
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me just say this show that I did last
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00:58:39
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week I could not have done without
[TS]
00:58:41
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victoria and then the Bailey hit the
[TS]
00:58:46
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ground running
[TS]
00:58:47
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she's here in and she was like seriously
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00:58:50
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taking care of business
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00:58:51
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I had a at not just taking care of like
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00:58:53
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all the business where i was like i need
[TS]
00:58:55
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a paperclip boom there's a paperclip
[TS]
00:58:57
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might need a three by five card I don't
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00:58:59
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know how to use she was like boom here's
[TS]
00:59:01
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a three by five card and here's the
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00:59:03
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thing i downloaded from the internet
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00:59:04
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about how to use them
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00:59:05
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I was like huh not only that but like
[TS]
00:59:07
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she showed up to a meeting I had with
[TS]
00:59:09
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the old
[TS]
00:59:10
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of the rendezvous and she brought two
[TS]
00:59:12
◼
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coffees one for me and one for her I was
[TS]
00:59:17
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like what's yes that's a French service
[TS]
00:59:20
◼
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like know what you need before you know
[TS]
00:59:22
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you need it right so so I'm standing
[TS]
00:59:24
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backstage and I'm also saying at a lot
[TS]
00:59:28
◼
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of different ways along the path to hear
[TS]
00:59:30
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i could have jumped into this Victoria
[TS]
00:59:32
◼
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Bailey love triangle I could have made
[TS]
00:59:36
◼
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myself the third pode but instead I did
[TS]
00:59:41
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what I basically was asking them to
[TS]
00:59:44
◼
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allow me to do which is just think about
[TS]
00:59:46
◼
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what i'm trying to do and in fact they
[TS]
00:59:50
◼
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both did all of the stuff that I
[TS]
00:59:52
◼
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everything I could have asked for and
[TS]
00:59:54
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more and they and so I was like this is
[TS]
00:59:58
◼
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working
[TS]
00:59:58
◼
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this is the Jonathan Club
[TS]
00:59:58
◼
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this is the Jonathan Club
[TS]
01:00:00
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Alton come foo of just not not getting
[TS]
01:00:06
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another not stepping on other people's
[TS]
01:00:07
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toes not getting in the way of people
[TS]
01:00:10
◼
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who are trying to help you and so that
[TS]
01:00:13
◼
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was a that that is an ongoing mystery
[TS]
01:00:17
◼
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and lesson to me that that the best
[TS]
01:00:21
◼
►
thing I can do is shut up and accept
[TS]
01:00:23
◼
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other people's work neck once again not
[TS]
01:00:29
◼
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as easy as it sounds so hard for me
[TS]
01:00:32
◼
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because you know I want to send
[TS]
01:00:33
◼
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especially three o'clock in the morning
[TS]
01:00:35
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i want to send everybody a five-page
[TS]
01:00:37
◼
►
email 2500 word essay had taught him all
[TS]
01:00:39
◼
►
what's wrong with that what they're
[TS]
01:00:40
◼
►
doing and and it and in this case just
[TS]
01:00:45
◼
►
letting it letting it go letting it be a
[TS]
01:00:50
◼
►
press produced tremendous results so
[TS]
01:00:54
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►
that is the story of my assistant search
[TS]
01:00:56
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►
and it has you know where we're in a we
[TS]
01:01:00
◼
►
basically like we have a little
[TS]
01:01:02
◼
►
professional organization now Victoria
[TS]
01:01:04
◼
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and Bailey are calling themselves the
[TS]
01:01:05
◼
►
Roderick group
[TS]
01:01:07
◼
►
come on Wow get out of here right is
[TS]
01:01:11
◼
►
that cute
[TS]
01:01:12
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►
I all I feel like making business cards
[TS]
01:01:13
◼
►
for everybody it's it this this is
[TS]
01:01:16
◼
►
amazing
[TS]
01:01:17
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►
yeah so now I just have to do it again
[TS]
01:01:23
◼
►
and again and this is so also when when
[TS]
01:01:26
◼
►
the shows when we heard the following
[TS]
01:01:28
◼
►
day that the show sold out the upcoming
[TS]
01:01:31
◼
►
show sold out you would be amazed at how
[TS]
01:01:35
◼
►
quickly my think tank and i don't mean
[TS]
01:01:39
◼
►
Victoria Bailey but like my mom my
[TS]
01:01:41
◼
►
friend Ben London like I've got a little
[TS]
01:01:43
◼
►
constellation of of people who are all
[TS]
01:01:46
◼
►
you get a blue ribbon panel a
[TS]
01:01:48
◼
►
blue-ribbon panel and everybody was
[TS]
01:01:50
◼
►
everybody's instinct and my own instinct
[TS]
01:01:53
◼
►
to was like well we need to find a
[TS]
01:01:57
◼
►
bigger venue
[TS]
01:01:58
◼
►
weddings are charging more for tickets
[TS]
01:02:00
◼
►
yeah we need to get ready to scale this
[TS]
01:02:02
◼
►
up to the I disagree we need to take we
[TS]
01:02:05
◼
►
need to start to remember that video
[TS]
01:02:07
◼
►
where share is on an aircraft carrier
[TS]
01:02:11
◼
►
that's what we need to be thinking you
[TS]
01:02:13
◼
►
think chaps how do we get your you in
[TS]
01:02:17
◼
►
assless pants and then they're crushing
[TS]
01:02:21
◼
►
the bunny don't want to crush the bunny
[TS]
01:02:22
◼
►
well that's the thing and I don't think
[TS]
01:02:23
◼
►
they don't think any of them work we're
[TS]
01:02:25
◼
►
pushing that too hard it was just the
[TS]
01:02:27
◼
►
first instinct and it was my own first
[TS]
01:02:29
◼
►
question of course it is is that this I
[TS]
01:02:31
◼
►
i somehow managed to stand up without
[TS]
01:02:33
◼
►
falling down i guess it's time to pull
[TS]
01:02:35
◼
►
the halt
[TS]
01:02:35
◼
►
yeah exactly it's time it's time now to
[TS]
01:02:37
◼
►
a to launch a rocket into space
[TS]
01:02:41
◼
►
now is the time to six months at that
[TS]
01:02:44
◼
►
plump side some career advice just six
[TS]
01:02:46
◼
►
months at that place gets fucking
[TS]
01:02:47
◼
►
awesome at it and then think about that
[TS]
01:02:48
◼
►
think about adding another show maybe a
[TS]
01:02:52
◼
►
different show where you can grow some
[TS]
01:02:54
◼
►
more but you you know you're building
[TS]
01:02:55
◼
►
your platform
[TS]
01:02:56
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►
yep so it only time I think I think
[TS]
01:03:00
◼
►
credit to everybody in this organization
[TS]
01:03:03
◼
►
like it only took 20 minutes for
[TS]
01:03:07
◼
►
everybody to come to that understanding
[TS]
01:03:09
◼
►
themselves like wait a minute wait a
[TS]
01:03:10
◼
►
minute where maybe maybe instead of six
[TS]
01:03:15
◼
►
dollars we charged seven but that is
[TS]
01:03:18
◼
►
that's the extent of how much we should
[TS]
01:03:21
◼
►
push this this is a this is an incubator
[TS]
01:03:24
◼
►
it is a yeah it's just it's a little
[TS]
01:03:26
◼
►
world the real you know the real benefit
[TS]
01:03:31
◼
►
of this is going to be in a year when I
[TS]
01:03:34
◼
►
understand when I understand what I'm
[TS]
01:03:37
◼
►
trying to make the benefit of it is not
[TS]
01:03:40
◼
►
that not that I made four hundred
[TS]
01:03:43
◼
►
dollars right and I need to make seven
[TS]
01:03:46
◼
►
hundred dollars but and so like I saw
[TS]
01:03:51
◼
►
anyway I believe in this little team of
[TS]
01:03:54
◼
►
people and I believe in this little
[TS]
01:03:56
◼
►
operation and I believe that I can well
[TS]
01:04:00
◼
►
that i can try again next week and try
[TS]
01:04:04
◼
►
and do it better
[TS]
01:04:08
◼
►
my biggest fear right now is that you're
[TS]
01:04:10
◼
►
becoming saying and I don't want you to
[TS]
01:04:13
◼
►
fuck up the show
[TS]
01:04:14
◼
►
don't get too okay stay inej a little
[TS]
01:04:17
◼
►
bit off-balance
[TS]
01:04:18
◼
►
oh I want to become too like well that
[TS]
01:04:21
◼
►
seems like a question with a very simple
[TS]
01:04:23
◼
►
history early years
[TS]
01:04:24
◼
►
three-point plan 2,500 words how well I
[TS]
01:04:29
◼
►
think what will keep me crazy is that
[TS]
01:04:31
◼
►
you and I'd start doing live rhetoric on
[TS]
01:04:32
◼
►
the lines that will be completely
[TS]
01:04:34
◼
►
unpredictable on scriptable unscheduled
[TS]
01:04:37
◼
►
below what if we do it in a five-person
[TS]
01:04:40
◼
►
venue and charged $5,000 let's do it in
[TS]
01:04:44
◼
►
mm and is anything but the band was so
[TS]
01:04:47
◼
►
we fly to Italy fly to a different city
[TS]
01:04:49
◼
►
in America and we do with a land in the
[TS]
01:04:51
◼
►
back we do a live right on the line in a
[TS]
01:04:53
◼
►
van and only five people can attend but
[TS]
01:04:57
◼
►
tickets are $500 5,000 5,000 articulate
[TS]
01:05:01
◼
►
making text and techniques you know what
[TS]
01:05:02
◼
►
to use some of you will get like three
[TS]
01:05:04
◼
►
fans from square and we don't work for
[TS]
01:05:06
◼
►
20 years
[TS]
01:05:07
◼
►
see now who's who thought of that who
[TS]
01:05:10
◼
►
thought of that Paula Tompkins yeah yeah
[TS]
01:05:12
◼
►
in your face mustache boy that's right
[TS]
01:05:15
◼
►
all you comedians are going to be like
[TS]
01:05:16
◼
►
you know my whole life was transformed
[TS]
01:05:20
◼
►
after John and Marlena pioneered the you
[TS]
01:05:22
◼
►
stop when you think she'd make a shirt
[TS]
01:05:25
◼
►
when in fact you charge 650 oh you know
[TS]
01:05:28
◼
►
what here's an idea
[TS]
01:05:29
◼
►
charge five thousand dollars two medians
[TS]
01:05:31
◼
►
in vans getting coffee but then I what
[TS]
01:05:35
◼
►
it was what it was like a really nice
[TS]
01:05:37
◼
►
van or maybe even like a limo
[TS]
01:05:39
◼
►
what if we got like a like a like a
[TS]
01:05:41
◼
►
white kids going to the prom limo
[TS]
01:05:42
◼
►
we got five or six people with a catered
[TS]
01:05:44
◼
►
meal escalade limo
[TS]
01:05:46
◼
►
yeah like super complicated maybe walk
[TS]
01:05:48
◼
►
around maybe have about the chemical
[TS]
01:05:50
◼
►
toilet in it like a nice one and then we
[TS]
01:05:52
◼
►
go around we do our show we drive around
[TS]
01:05:54
◼
►
somewhere that's not too interesting
[TS]
01:05:55
◼
►
where they would be distracted but drive
[TS]
01:05:57
◼
►
them maybe around the park a few times
[TS]
01:05:59
◼
►
go around the park ya go to the park
[TS]
01:06:01
◼
►
again geez you give them some give me a
[TS]
01:06:03
◼
►
gyro and and maybe some some lemonade or
[TS]
01:06:06
◼
►
something and H give us five thousand
[TS]
01:06:09
◼
►
dollars
[TS]
01:06:09
◼
►
yeah everybody gets a bell at the end of
[TS]
01:06:12
◼
►
the show everybody gets a bell it get to
[TS]
01:06:14
◼
►
take their belt sign your bail
[TS]
01:06:16
◼
►
that's right so we begin the van first
[TS]
01:06:18
◼
►
thing that get isabelle we make it seem
[TS]
01:06:20
◼
►
like they just get to hold the bell
[TS]
01:06:22
◼
►
oh it's a line yeah it's a little
[TS]
01:06:24
◼
►
something extra the end exactly say like
[TS]
01:06:26
◼
►
if the bell and yeah like listen don't
[TS]
01:06:29
◼
►
bring in a bunch but you're welcome to
[TS]
01:06:30
◼
►
ring it if you feel like it was it's an
[TS]
01:06:32
◼
►
occasion that the bell should ring you
[TS]
01:06:34
◼
►
get Val you get about
[TS]
01:06:36
◼
►
get out of my fucking number and we're
[TS]
01:06:46
◼
►
that's great
[TS]