Roderick on the Line

00:00:00 ◼   ► low a John I'm Merlin has gone good 40 [TS]

00:00:12 ◼   ► where you can say i went to the swimming [TS]

00:00:17 ◼   ► pool who and I did some swimming [TS]

00:00:24 ◼   ► wow yeah it's not it's not a thing that [TS]

00:00:26 ◼   ► i am not a very good swimmer frankly you [TS]

00:00:30 ◼   ► graceful in the water [TS]

00:00:32 ◼   ► hi I'm i am i I'm a graceful bobber I'm [TS]

00:00:37 ◼   ► a good barber but you know when i start [TS]

00:00:41 ◼   ► to swim [TS]

00:00:42 ◼   ► it's a combination of like yeah the two [TS]

00:00:45 ◼   ► things you wouldn't think go together [TS]

00:00:46 ◼   ► boredom and panic [TS]

00:00:48 ◼   ► you have no idea how you actually pretty [TS]

00:00:54 ◼   ► much my whole life how you can be on the [TS]

00:00:57 ◼   ► verge of panic and yet also bored [TS]

00:00:59 ◼   ► shitless but that is swimming today [TS]

00:01:03 ◼   ► that's a whole body exercise yeah that's [TS]

00:01:05 ◼   ► right it's a body and soul i spend the [TS]

00:01:07 ◼   ► whole time like you know choking back [TS]

00:01:09 ◼   ► just a freak out a pure freak out and [TS]

00:01:13 ◼   ► you have swam my whole life there's no [TS]

00:01:15 ◼   ► reason I should be such a bad like the [TS]

00:01:18 ◼   ► psychic the psychology of Swimming's [TS]

00:01:21 ◼   ► just don't know why you are you actually [TS]

00:01:24 ◼   ► brilliant [TS]

00:01:25 ◼   ► no no I think like a stone and I had a [TS]

00:01:28 ◼   ► couple of experiences one time in Greece [TS]

00:01:30 ◼   ► I swam out around the you know there was [TS]

00:01:34 ◼   ► a big there's a big rock big real big [TS]

00:01:37 ◼   ► rock and I swam out around pass the rock [TS]

00:01:39 ◼   ► and got out into the into the chop and [TS]

00:01:45 ◼   ► then i realized i had gone to the moment [TS]

00:01:47 ◼   ► I realized I had gone too far [TS]

00:01:51 ◼   ► it was you know it was too late to go [TS]

00:01:54 ◼   ► back and also too far to go forward and [TS]

00:01:59 ◼   ► I couldn't and and the waves were [TS]

00:02:02 ◼   ► hitting the rock i couldn't get up on [TS]

00:02:04 ◼   ► the rock it was a sheer cliff so I [TS]

00:02:07 ◼   ► couldn't even like hold onto the rock [TS]

00:02:09 ◼   ► because the waves were hitting it so [TS]

00:02:10 ◼   ► hard it was a real [TS]

00:02:12 ◼   ► the real kind of like yeah really set [TS]

00:02:14 ◼   ► the tone and you know obviously i [TS]

00:02:18 ◼   ► drowned and died and this is all a dream [TS]

00:02:24 ◼   ► this is all the Jacob's Ladder things [TS]

00:02:28 ◼   ► but a but yeah so anyway but that's that [TS]

00:02:32 ◼   ► doesn't explain that shit that's [TS]

00:02:34 ◼   ► everybody's had a near-death experience [TS]

00:02:36 ◼   ► in the in the waters off mechanic is it [TS]

00:02:40 ◼   ► is a good word for it [TS]

00:02:41 ◼   ► yeah i think it's I'm just I'm always [TS]

00:02:44 ◼   ► pushing it down much just like even in a [TS]

00:02:45 ◼   ► even it with a ymca swimming pool [TS]

00:02:48 ◼   ► I'm always pushing down the like talk [TS]

00:02:51 ◼   ► like this is it i'm gonna take a [TS]

00:02:54 ◼   ► mouthful of water and by the time they [TS]

00:02:55 ◼   ► get to me i'm going to be a corpse [TS]

00:02:58 ◼   ► I am I asking about your buoyancy and [TS]

00:03:01 ◼   ► that's a personal question because I I I [TS]

00:03:04 ◼   ► mean I've had was a kid what I've been [TS]

00:03:06 ◼   ► eating frankly who cutting out the wheat [TS]

00:03:09 ◼   ► is probably makes me even less buoyant [TS]

00:03:12 ◼   ► yeah you're probably less bloated you're [TS]

00:03:15 ◼   ► taking less air that's right let's gasps [TS]

00:03:17 ◼   ► huh [TS]

00:03:18 ◼   ► I i took like the is of course you can [TS]

00:03:21 ◼   ► take to you know do you learn the very [TS]

00:03:23 ◼   ► basics like there's a Red Cross [TS]

00:03:24 ◼   ► certified class where you learn how to [TS]

00:03:26 ◼   ► float and stuff like that and i don't [TS]

00:03:29 ◼   ► know i'm not a scientist but it seems to [TS]

00:03:31 ◼   ► me like most people should be plus or [TS]

00:03:33 ◼   ► minus five percent roughly the same [TS]

00:03:35 ◼   ► buoyancy wouldn't you think it [TS]

00:03:38 ◼   ► I mean maybe I don't know what it is i [TS]

00:03:39 ◼   ► remember them saying that like the sound [TS]

00:03:41 ◼   ► silly but take a big breath because [TS]

00:03:43 ◼   ► filling up your lungs make sure more [TS]

00:03:44 ◼   ► buoyant but like my mother-in-law [TS]

00:03:46 ◼   ► floating anything she's a little stick [TS]

00:03:48 ◼   ► of the lady she's like three feet tall [TS]

00:03:50 ◼   ► and she just she just gets in the water [TS]

00:03:52 ◼   ► no Raph no nothing 80 years old and she [TS]

00:03:55 ◼   ► just she floats like a little like a [TS]

00:03:57 ◼   ► little fishing bobber yeah the water [TS]

00:03:59 ◼   ► doesn't water now it repels her [TS]

00:04:02 ◼   ► yes water water resistant the water ones [TS]

00:04:04 ◼   ► me I'm on the same way at the bottom [TS]

00:04:07 ◼   ► that wants me it's not even the water oh [TS]

00:04:09 ◼   ► the waters just the vessel as the medium [TS]

00:04:12 ◼   ► the bottom wants to be the center of the [TS]

00:04:14 ◼   ► earth wants me [TS]

00:04:15 ◼   ► you should read that watchman comic [TS]

00:04:16 ◼   ► there's a lot of good yeah yeah [TS]

00:04:21 ◼   ► I'm not now I know you're not a fan of [TS]

00:04:25 ◼   ► things like being in small places if [TS]

00:04:27 ◼   ► memory serves [TS]

00:04:27 ◼   ► do you think about driving it sounds [TS]

00:04:30 ◼   ► like it's on your mind [TS]

00:04:31 ◼   ► uh not well you know of all the all the [TS]

00:04:34 ◼   ► deaths from what I understand once you [TS]

00:04:38 ◼   ► take the first big mouthful of water [TS]

00:04:40 ◼   ► while the first big lungs full of water [TS]

00:04:42 ◼   ► all all reports are that you do you have [TS]

00:04:47 ◼   ► a have an overwhelming feeling of calm [TS]

00:04:50 ◼   ► it doesn't hurt anymore and you just [TS]

00:04:53 ◼   ► yeah nothing find way out really yeah [TS]

00:04:56 ◼   ► right i mean and so when I think about [TS]

00:04:57 ◼   ► drowning it's always in it's always in [TS]

00:04:59 ◼   ► the context of like out the ship has [TS]

00:05:01 ◼   ► gone down and I Here I am bobbing and [TS]

00:05:03 ◼   ► how much do I want to live and those [TS]

00:05:06 ◼   ► guys that those guys that like swim and [TS]

00:05:09 ◼   ► swim and swim and find a buoy or swim [TS]

00:05:12 ◼   ► and and you know make make friends with [TS]

00:05:16 ◼   ► the giant tuna and they create a a raft [TS]

00:05:20 ◼   ► for him seems like a lot of work right [TS]

00:05:22 ◼   ► and it's just like how much do I want to [TS]

00:05:23 ◼   ► live i'm out here in the ocean the first [TS]

00:05:25 ◼   ► thing that nibbles on my foot like you [TS]

00:05:28 ◼   ► know I'm gonna have a hard time holding [TS]

00:05:32 ◼   ► back the desire to just say you know [TS]

00:05:34 ◼   ► what it's been a good run [TS]

00:05:35 ◼   ► whoo-hoo and I'm and an understanding [TS]

00:05:38 ◼   ► that the first big lung full of air for [TS]

00:05:41 ◼   ► the first big long full of water is like [TS]

00:05:42 ◼   ► then it all it all just goes away and [TS]

00:05:45 ◼   ► somehow your body is pre-programmed to [TS]

00:05:49 ◼   ► drown painlessly you just your back in [TS]

00:05:53 ◼   ► the womb who it's just we're not [TS]

00:05:56 ◼   ► designed to be on the internet but dying [TS]

00:05:58 ◼   ► in water not a problem [TS]

00:05:59 ◼   ► that's right saltwater out saltwater in [TS]

00:06:01 ◼   ► boom and then it all you know something [TS]

00:06:05 ◼   ► in your lizard brain is just like Oh [TS]

00:06:06 ◼   ► fucking thank God it would really be a [TS]

00:06:10 ◼   ► dream for me because I'm so good at [TS]

00:06:12 ◼   ► getting up on things as it is i think i [TS]

00:06:14 ◼   ► could really be very dignified and that [TS]

00:06:17 ◼   ► you just surrender and it's I mean think [TS]

00:06:19 ◼   ► about drowning what a great thing about [TS]

00:06:21 ◼   ► just like lost at sea not even drowning [TS]

00:06:24 ◼   ► but like it's epic [TS]

00:06:25 ◼   ► whatever happened to Merlin nobody else [TS]

00:06:27 ◼   ► see but i bet he went pretty easy you [TS]

00:06:30 ◼   ► know he wasn't for a dolphin or tuna [TS]

00:06:32 ◼   ► baby Jones [TS]

00:06:34 ◼   ► occur because of what do you do we need [TS]

00:06:36 ◼   ► to survive on desert island no thanks no [TS]

00:06:38 ◼   ► thanks four or even you know suffering [TS]

00:06:41 ◼   ► severe sunburn and being saltwater I'm [TS]

00:06:43 ◼   ► very sensitive to the Sun doesn't sound [TS]

00:06:45 ◼   ► good but so for me no drowning their 100 [TS]

00:06:50 ◼   ► something recently that i think i found [TS]

00:06:53 ◼   ► very chilling you might have heard if [TS]

00:06:55 ◼   ► you ever like really read the Heimlich [TS]

00:06:57 ◼   ► poster you know like when you're working [TS]

00:06:59 ◼   ► oh no you need to learn that the only [TS]

00:07:01 ◼   ► Spanish male right it's not even English [TS]

00:07:03 ◼   ► that's just such a sickening John I'm [TS]

00:07:05 ◼   ► sorry even hear that [TS]

00:07:07 ◼   ► no no it's quick look I just I just I'm [TS]

00:07:13 ◼   ► just skimming now so I died maybe i'm [TS]

00:07:15 ◼   ► missing the English parts in Vietnamese [TS]

00:07:18 ◼   ► and Spanish uh-huh okay um I i will eat [TS]

00:07:22 ◼   ► you read on there like somebody wasn't [TS]

00:07:23 ◼   ► all joking you know you they're not true [TS]

00:07:27 ◼   ► they're not choking come on you remember [TS]

00:07:29 ◼   ► it says you know check can't speak [TS]

00:07:31 ◼   ► breathe or cough right right so if you [TS]

00:07:34 ◼   ► say to somebody you know say your name [TS]

00:07:37 ◼   ► or something like that say my name say [TS]

00:07:39 ◼   ► my name on a bitch you want help [TS]

00:07:41 ◼   ► it's when it's when people are going [TS]

00:07:42 ◼   ► like this i can see you okay [TS]

00:07:46 ◼   ► you see my hands around my throat right [TS]

00:07:48 ◼   ► I get it ok here's what I learned from [TS]

00:07:50 ◼   ► my friend is a lifeguard [TS]

00:07:51 ◼   ► do you notice about drowning people you [TS]

00:07:53 ◼   ► think oh you see somebody out there [TS]

00:07:54 ◼   ► splashing around like they're in Jaws [TS]

00:07:56 ◼   ► they must be drowning but did you know [TS]

00:07:58 ◼   ► that a drowning person doesn't move one [TS]

00:08:02 ◼   ► now listen go do your own due diligence [TS]

00:08:03 ◼   ► before you decide whether or not to save [TS]

00:08:05 ◼   ► somebody based on their behavior people [TS]

00:08:07 ◼   ► go check my facts on this but i'm pretty [TS]

00:08:09 ◼   ► sure that what lifeguards look for [TS]

00:08:10 ◼   ► someone who's pretty far out and it's [TS]

00:08:13 ◼   ► just is maybe like not doing well but [TS]

00:08:16 ◼   ► they're not flapping around I think that [TS]

00:08:18 ◼   ► once that water gets in there that's [TS]

00:08:20 ◼   ► that calmness that you and I are looking [TS]

00:08:21 ◼   ► for yes the calm that comes over one [TS]

00:08:25 ◼   ► where you can slip the left guard 20 and [TS]

00:08:26 ◼   ► just say let's not make a big deal out [TS]

00:08:28 ◼   ► of this [TS]

00:08:28 ◼   ► I think of a lifeguard to get to me i [TS]

00:08:30 ◼   ► would i would at least put up i put up a [TS]

00:08:33 ◼   ► fight [TS]

00:08:33 ◼   ► well you know it's hard to save somebody [TS]

00:08:35 ◼   ► because they fight ya when somebody's [TS]

00:08:36 ◼   ► legitimate if they're legitimately [TS]

00:08:38 ◼   ► drowning they will fight that's right [TS]

00:08:40 ◼   ► the thing is like apology contract so [TS]

00:08:43 ◼   ► it's not about like what if I was on the [TS]

00:08:45 ◼   ► Indianapolis [TS]

00:08:46 ◼   ► like if I was if I was Quint oh god what [TS]

00:08:50 ◼   ► a great story [TS]

00:08:51 ◼   ► come on what am I gonna do and how it [TS]

00:08:52 ◼   ► was that water that's the other thing [TS]

00:08:53 ◼   ► now you got the cold water situation [TS]

00:08:55 ◼   ► like with the Titanic have you ever been [TS]

00:08:57 ◼   ► in water that's like even like 50 [TS]

00:08:59 ◼   ► degrees 50 degrees you go that's a cool [TS]

00:09:01 ◼   ► day that sweater weather in San [TS]

00:09:03 ◼   ► Francisco 50 degrees in the water is so [TS]

00:09:06 ◼   ► freaking cold one Memorial Day 1978 my [TS]

00:09:09 ◼   ► friends open their pool in ohio and we [TS]

00:09:12 ◼   ► were determined to get in this is the [TS]

00:09:14 ◼   ► first day of the swimming season and we [TS]

00:09:16 ◼   ► spend like probably six hours trying to [TS]

00:09:18 ◼   ► get into the water because it was so [TS]

00:09:20 ◼   ► cold you imagine being in that for like [TS]

00:09:21 ◼   ► half an hour [TS]

00:09:22 ◼   ► well as a matter of fact who it's a [TS]

00:09:26 ◼   ► common practice in Alaska to be in the [TS]

00:09:30 ◼   ► sauna and to come out of the sauna and [TS]

00:09:34 ◼   ► run across the snow to the half frozen [TS]

00:09:38 ◼   ► lake and run it run to the end of the [TS]

00:09:41 ◼   ► dock and jump in [TS]

00:09:43 ◼   ► what could possibly go wrong when you [TS]

00:09:45 ◼   ► are but right at right as the the steam [TS]

00:09:48 ◼   ► room has become so intolerably hot you [TS]

00:09:51 ◼   ► can't breathe anymore your entire body [TS]

00:09:53 ◼   ► is cooking you run down to the end of [TS]

00:09:56 ◼   ► the document jump into the water which [TS]

00:09:59 ◼   ► is just on the cusp of freezing see that [TS]

00:10:01 ◼   ► goes right into that part of my life [TS]

00:10:03 ◼   ► right everyone have to fill that out on [TS]

00:10:04 ◼   ► a form and get explain to somebody what [TS]

00:10:07 ◼   ► i was doing charged with an ice-cold [TS]

00:10:09 ◼   ► like it was right after I'd been nearly [TS]

00:10:10 ◼   ► dead from heat [TS]

00:10:11 ◼   ► what happens in those moments is the [TS]

00:10:15 ◼   ► shock is so extreme and the things you [TS]

00:10:16 ◼   ► don't you go to the end of the dock [TS]

00:10:17 ◼   ► you're not like you're not like [TS]

00:10:18 ◼   ► tiptoeing into the water you go all we [TS]

00:10:20 ◼   ► run to the end of the dock and then you [TS]

00:10:21 ◼   ► are submerged who and the shock is so [TS]

00:10:25 ◼   ► extraordinary that it blanks out [TS]

00:10:27 ◼   ► everything that you poop [TS]

00:10:29 ◼   ► well or something i have never pooped [TS]

00:10:31 ◼   ► but he's done though you've ever had on [TS]

00:10:34 ◼   ► this done it multiple times because once [TS]

00:10:36 ◼   ► you do it once that then you it's it's [TS]

00:10:39 ◼   ► incredibly addictive and what happens is [TS]

00:10:41 ◼   ► all goes black like it the shock is so [TS]

00:10:45 ◼   ► extreme there you you lose [TS]

00:10:48 ◼   ► however long it takes for you to a [TS]

00:10:51 ◼   ► minute that's like it's pretty like [TS]

00:10:53 ◼   ► knocked out she's like knocked the wind [TS]

00:10:54 ◼   ► out of you kind of feeling it knocks the [TS]

00:10:56 ◼   ► soul [TS]

00:10:57 ◼   ► you become an empty vessel for for a few [TS]

00:11:03 ◼   ► seconds and then it all comes rushing [TS]

00:11:05 ◼   ► back in and it is like being stabbed [TS]

00:11:08 ◼   ► with a million needles [TS]

00:11:09 ◼   ► yeah but its its exceptional it really [TS]

00:11:13 ◼   ► is so well I'll tell you this about me [TS]

00:11:16 ◼   ► and this this is going to be [TS]

00:11:17 ◼   ► contradictory i guess but like if i go [TS]

00:11:19 ◼   ► to a hotel man and they've got you go to [TS]

00:11:22 ◼   ► really tricked out Marriott and they've [TS]

00:11:23 ◼   ► got all of the like locker room [TS]

00:11:26 ◼   ► facilities i will go in there was no [TS]

00:11:28 ◼   ► Shana is that an urban dictionary thing [TS]

00:11:31 ◼   ► and that this together the cult polish [TS]

00:11:34 ◼   ► on now I i will utilize all of the [TS]

00:11:38 ◼   ► facilities you can't get that steam hot [TS]

00:11:40 ◼   ► enough for me even though is it strikes [TS]

00:11:41 ◼   ► me every year it becomes clear to me how [TS]

00:11:44 ◼   ► hygienic the steam room is when you [TS]

00:11:45 ◼   ► really think about it let me tell you i [TS]

00:11:47 ◼   ► got a pretty bad rash sure that's what [TS]

00:11:53 ◼   ► is your condition [TS]

00:11:54 ◼   ► not very long ago that's right haha is [TS]

00:11:56 ◼   ► that I didn't want to ask i had a [TS]

00:11:57 ◼   ► feeling it was a rash [TS]

00:11:58 ◼   ► it was a rash from a steam room going [TS]

00:12:01 ◼   ► well for me from a spa facility so it [TS]

00:12:03 ◼   ► was either the hot tubs or the sauna [TS]

00:12:06 ◼   ► gave me some kind of of bacterium but it [TS]

00:12:13 ◼   ► wasn't a bacteria because the penicillin [TS]

00:12:15 ◼   ► didn't work so it was a it was some kind [TS]

00:12:18 ◼   ► of athletes foot of the body [TS]

00:12:21 ◼   ► yes I right I told because the thing is [TS]

00:12:24 ◼   ► I think about now and i don't think i'm [TS]

00:12:26 ◼   ► up i'm not obsessed with these things [TS]

00:12:27 ◼   ► but I think about it I know that there [TS]

00:12:30 ◼   ► are various things various fauna the [TS]

00:12:32 ◼   ► benefit from the sauna there are various [TS]

00:12:34 ◼   ► things that if you go into a steam room [TS]

00:12:36 ◼   ► you think about that that's like a [TS]

00:12:38 ◼   ► little petri dish and it's dripping [TS]

00:12:39 ◼   ► hello dripping off of the ceiling [TS]

00:12:42 ◼   ► yes sano-sama associate fun leases to [TS]

00:12:45 ◼   ► the dry heat and this on the side you [TS]

00:12:47 ◼   ► can get us on hot enough for me I like [TS]

00:12:49 ◼   ► it I like a good and hot [TS]

00:12:51 ◼   ► but then i'll do that then go jump in [TS]

00:12:52 ◼   ► the shower and jump it's a real super [TS]

00:12:54 ◼   ► like middle-class white guy version of [TS]

00:12:56 ◼   ► jumping in an Alaskan lake [TS]

00:12:57 ◼   ► yeah my dad used to call that the [TS]

00:12:59 ◼   ► executive work out how I find it [TS]

00:13:02 ◼   ► extremely relaxing and it's what got me [TS]

00:13:04 ◼   ► hooked on this some menthol shower spray [TS]

00:13:06 ◼   ► I've got now [TS]

00:13:07 ◼   ► John everything's changed since like [TS]

00:13:09 ◼   ► something I max product [TS]

00:13:11 ◼   ► yes yes that's right i got to get [TS]

00:13:14 ◼   ► squeaky to scrape the ladies off the [TS]

00:13:15 ◼   ► side menthol showers breath here's what [TS]

00:13:18 ◼   ► you do it's really easy you can make it [TS]

00:13:19 ◼   ► home you go out you were just covering [TS]

00:13:22 ◼   ► yourself with the vicks vapor rub but [TS]

00:13:23 ◼   ► every chance I get I need so little [TS]

00:13:26 ◼   ► provocation to slather myself in tiger [TS]

00:13:28 ◼   ► mom I find it incredibly comforting but [TS]

00:13:31 ◼   ► a tiger balm was always always my LSD go [TS]

00:13:34 ◼   ► to oh dude i'm selling your skin right [TS]

00:13:37 ◼   ► now so when I when I would when I would [TS]

00:13:39 ◼   ► take LSD I always had a little like a [TS]

00:13:41 ◼   ► little Bota bag or not a boat back but [TS]

00:13:43 ◼   ► like a little uh you know little Dopp [TS]

00:13:44 ◼   ► kit got a chip get a trip get and you [TS]

00:13:50 ◼   ► gotta have a trick by bubbles know there [TS]

00:13:53 ◼   ► were no i wasn't a fucking girl that [TS]

00:13:59 ◼   ► Jon's getting into his bubble I had a [TS]

00:14:01 ◼   ► you know a pack of camel filters i had [TS]

00:14:03 ◼   ► eight the weed I had a you know a bottle [TS]

00:14:07 ◼   ► of water i had a a growth girls beer two [TS]

00:14:12 ◼   ► girls peers may be an apple I always had [TS]

00:14:15 ◼   ► tiger balm because when you're really [TS]

00:14:18 ◼   ► you're really tripping and you're [TS]

00:14:21 ◼   ► hanging out with some other trippers and [TS]

00:14:23 ◼   ► you're all just your back to like monkey [TS]

00:14:25 ◼   ► status we're just sitting there picking [TS]

00:14:27 ◼   ► nits out of each other's hair [TS]

00:14:29 ◼   ► one of the great things to do is take a [TS]

00:14:32 ◼   ► little tiger balm and rub it on rub it [TS]

00:14:34 ◼   ► on your friends temple-like so you're [TS]

00:14:38 ◼   ► tripping and you're looking at each [TS]

00:14:39 ◼   ► other and you're rubbin tiger balm in [TS]

00:14:40 ◼   ► each other's temples and it's like [TS]

00:14:43 ◼   ► you'll be careful not to get that in and [TS]

00:14:44 ◼   ► I well that's the thing yeah you but [TS]

00:14:47 ◼   ► your beer conscious of the difference [TS]

00:14:48 ◼   ► between and I a temple no matter how [TS]

00:14:50 ◼   ► high you are [TS]

00:14:51 ◼   ► yeah right but its proximity to the I [TS]

00:14:53 ◼   ► like you feel the mentholatum in the air [TS]

00:14:56 ◼   ► around your eyeball through pretty heavy [TS]

00:14:59 ◼   ► stuff who kept trip get there are few [TS]

00:15:02 ◼   ► other items in there you should i know i [TS]

00:15:04 ◼   ► know you enjoy bathing this the shower [TS]

00:15:07 ◼   ► sprays its dynamic I got a recipe off [TS]

00:15:09 ◼   ► the internet because if you go by the [TS]

00:15:10 ◼   ► stuff in the store it's really expensive [TS]

00:15:11 ◼   ► but you know that smell like you go into [TS]

00:15:13 ◼   ► some kind of environment that kind of [TS]

00:15:14 ◼   ► menthol sort of smell you are making [TS]

00:15:16 ◼   ► your own menthol shower spray penny [TS]

00:15:20 ◼   ► Penny's she hit any court you got a [TS]

00:15:24 ◼   ► recipe of the internet for getting our [TS]

00:15:26 ◼   ► bomb shower spray well here's what [TS]

00:15:29 ◼   ► happened I i got some as a stocking [TS]

00:15:32 ◼   ► stuffer from a lady last year and i [TS]

00:15:34 ◼   ► liked it so much I wanted some off [TS]

00:15:36 ◼   ► amazon turns out what I ordered was dog [TS]

00:15:39 ◼   ► dog menthol spray is for if you wash [TS]

00:15:42 ◼   ► your dog and you want to smell good [TS]

00:15:44 ◼   ► so used all that up i finished it up [TS]

00:15:46 ◼   ► online office get back to your lady now [TS]

00:15:48 ◼   ► in my shower because i just bought some [TS]

00:15:50 ◼   ► shampoo that's that's designed for [TS]

00:15:52 ◼   ► horses Mane's and Tails I think that's a [TS]

00:15:54 ◼   ► thing and it works great [TS]

00:15:57 ◼   ► what's called the main event and I think [TS]

00:16:00 ◼   ► it might be called mane and tail [TS]

00:16:01 ◼   ► uh-oh watch yourself hoarse and it's and [TS]

00:16:06 ◼   ► it came in you know conveniently in a [TS]

00:16:07 ◼   ► 50-gallon drum I've seen this I've seen [TS]

00:16:10 ◼   ► this [TS]

00:16:10 ◼   ► yeah all you gotta do and I don't know [TS]

00:16:12 ◼   ► the exact amount so you know obviously [TS]

00:16:13 ◼   ► don't do this without doing the due [TS]

00:16:15 ◼   ► diligence searching the internet but [TS]

00:16:17 ◼   ► it's you put in a few drops of us [TS]

00:16:19 ◼   ► especially camp for you can put in some [TS]

00:16:21 ◼   ► eucalyptus you get the little essential [TS]

00:16:23 ◼   ► oil in a bottle right just a few drops [TS]

00:16:25 ◼   ► and then you add in some witch hazel and [TS]

00:16:27 ◼   ► water if you're in the witch hazel I [TS]

00:16:29 ◼   ► think you don't have to spend it or [TS]

00:16:30 ◼   ► something about to shake it shake that [TS]

00:16:32 ◼   ► up you spray it when you run your super [TS]

00:16:34 ◼   ► hot shower to get steamy yeah it's like [TS]

00:16:37 ◼   ► a little spa right in your home and i [TS]

00:16:39 ◼   ► are you buying like spray bottles at the [TS]

00:16:42 ◼   ► at the the pack and save and that's a [TS]

00:16:44 ◼   ► good question i repurposed the the dog [TS]

00:16:46 ◼   ► spray bottle oh I get you [TS]

00:16:48 ◼   ► yeah a rough for therapy or something [TS]

00:16:51 ◼   ► did you go through a phase where the [TS]

00:16:52 ◼   ► women in your life were all going [TS]

00:16:55 ◼   ► through a phase where they were making [TS]

00:16:56 ◼   ► their own bombs soaps medicament and and [TS]

00:17:01 ◼   ► gels I can't I can't put my hand to one [TS]

00:17:04 ◼   ► because i think it's a fairly recent [TS]

00:17:05 ◼   ► phenomenon but i will say that after the [TS]

00:17:08 ◼   ► dream of making your own jewelry and [TS]

00:17:09 ◼   ► selling it on etsy I think making [TS]

00:17:11 ◼   ► unnecessary soap has become a really [TS]

00:17:13 ◼   ► popular thing about is a lot of soap [TS]

00:17:15 ◼   ► with little sticks in it now [TS]

00:17:17 ◼   ► yeah yeah about LLC and i got i was [TS]

00:17:19 ◼   ► gifted a couple of bars of soap with [TS]

00:17:21 ◼   ► sticks in it at one of our shows [TS]

00:17:24 ◼   ► recently from some fans and one of them [TS]

00:17:27 ◼   ► i'm using right now not right this [TS]

00:17:30 ◼   ► minute but it's my current bathroom self [TS]

00:17:32 ◼   ► the other one they had flavor [TS]

00:17:33 ◼   ► do with patchouli oil a little a little [TS]

00:17:36 ◼   ► peculiar not a little enough and it came [TS]

00:17:40 ◼   ► into the house brought it home and came [TS]

00:17:42 ◼   ► into the house with me and immediately [TS]

00:17:44 ◼   ► everyone that that uses my house as [TS]

00:17:47 ◼   ► their common area [TS]

00:17:48 ◼   ► uh-huh they would walk in the house [TS]

00:17:50 ◼   ► maybe like what is whoa whoa whoa who [TS]

00:17:53 ◼   ► who's been here what dreadlocked person [TS]

00:17:55 ◼   ► has been in your home and I was like oh [TS]

00:17:57 ◼   ► I think it's this soap this lovely self [TS]

00:17:59 ◼   ► that I was given as a gift and i would [TS]

00:18:02 ◼   ► like to use your other bathroom some [TS]

00:18:04 ◼   ► very nice people and eventually the soap [TS]

00:18:06 ◼   ► like when people kept putting it in [TS]

00:18:08 ◼   ► deeper and deeper nesting Tupperware [TS]

00:18:11 ◼   ► containers until it finally just just [TS]

00:18:14 ◼   ► nested its way right out of the house [TS]

00:18:16 ◼   ► and I haven't I haven't seen it I don't [TS]

00:18:18 ◼   ► have any proof of this but my sense is [TS]

00:18:20 ◼   ► that just from my own experience there [TS]

00:18:23 ◼   ► are certain smell related cosmetic [TS]

00:18:26 ◼   ► things which I would include patchouli [TS]

00:18:29 ◼   ► musk Drakkar Noir and comic lines that [TS]

00:18:34 ◼   ► cover the light of session session right [TS]

00:18:36 ◼   ► that's powerful stuff where something [TS]

00:18:39 ◼   ► happens and you smell it once especially [TS]

00:18:41 ◼   ► if your lady you smell it once you put a [TS]

00:18:43 ◼   ► little on and something happens very [TS]

00:18:45 ◼   ► quickly that you stopped noticing how [TS]

00:18:47 ◼   ► much of it you're using I know that's [TS]

00:18:48 ◼   ► true actually and enter this day I mean [TS]

00:18:51 ◼   ► I if I it's like if you could smell the [TS]

00:18:53 ◼   ► patchouli there's too much [TS]

00:18:54 ◼   ► well and the problem with Calvin Klein's [TS]

00:18:56 ◼   ► obsession is you never smell it anymore [TS]

00:18:59 ◼   ► it's always one one girl for me when I [TS]

00:19:01 ◼   ► smell that for the rest of my life it [TS]

00:19:03 ◼   ► will always be exactly one woman me too [TS]

00:19:05 ◼   ► and it's imprinted unfortunately I it [TS]

00:19:08 ◼   ► imprinted on me in 1987 86 for me those [TS]

00:19:12 ◼   ► girls name was Maureen lynn and uh it [TS]

00:19:17 ◼   ► was on her like uh like the class like [TS]

00:19:21 ◼   ► it was on her like fog in santa cruz [TS]

00:19:23 ◼   ► like it was it was this is so thick on [TS]

00:19:29 ◼   ► her [TS]

00:19:30 ◼   ► I mean she put it on with a trowel and [TS]

00:19:32 ◼   ► yet and yet now I'll be you know be on [TS]

00:19:35 ◼   ► public transit i'll be in a strange town [TS]

00:19:37 ◼   ► and someone who did not get a series of [TS]

00:19:42 ◼   ► important memos and phone calls telling [TS]

00:19:45 ◼   ► them to stop wearing calvin klein [TS]

00:19:46 ◼   ► obsession in the early nineties will [TS]

00:19:49 ◼   ► walk past I'll smell that smell and I'll [TS]

00:19:51 ◼   ► be right back [TS]

00:19:52 ◼   ► I'll be right back at Maureen's feet [TS]

00:19:54 ◼   ► while she toys with me like a like a a [TS]

00:19:57 ◼   ► catnip ball and it's 0 don't think you [TS]

00:20:04 ◼   ► should get to retire fragrances [TS]

00:20:05 ◼   ► definitely after a certain point i mean [TS]

00:20:07 ◼   ► i i've enjoyed fragrances for myself in [TS]

00:20:09 ◼   ► the past but when you look in your [TS]

00:20:13 ◼   ► little boy you never put on love [TS]

00:20:14 ◼   ► grandpa's hai karate or something [TS]

00:20:16 ◼   ► no you know my mom would give me her old [TS]

00:20:19 ◼   ► makeup and I would wear I would have a [TS]

00:20:22 ◼   ► makeup kit I got a little purse and I [TS]

00:20:28 ◼   ► didn't want to wear how old were you [TS]

00:20:30 ◼   ► well this is the thing and what I when I [TS]

00:20:32 ◼   ► think back to the seventies and I [TS]

00:20:34 ◼   ► imagine like my mom and all of the [TS]

00:20:37 ◼   ► people in my family and me like that [TS]

00:20:41 ◼   ► it's old make it like that it's like a [TS]

00:20:44 ◼   ► compact with just a little bit of stuff [TS]

00:20:46 ◼   ► yeah the lipstick that was like down to [TS]

00:20:49 ◼   ► it now the eyeshadow eyeliner that all [TS]

00:20:51 ◼   ► the stuff and and I would make myself [TS]

00:20:55 ◼   ► beautiful until I was probably 800 you [TS]

00:21:03 ◼   ► could you could have got a couple more [TS]

00:21:04 ◼   ► years out of that but you stopped at a [TS]

00:21:05 ◼   ► good time I stop that I think what [TS]

00:21:07 ◼   ► happened was I moved [TS]

00:21:08 ◼   ► I'm i went to live with my dad when I [TS]

00:21:11 ◼   ► was still well yeah between eight and [TS]

00:21:13 ◼   ► ten and I didn't have access to the [TS]

00:21:16 ◼   ► makeup anymore but my makeup kit my bag [TS]

00:21:20 ◼   ► of makeup was one of my prized [TS]

00:21:21 ◼   ► possessions and I would play dress-up [TS]

00:21:24 ◼   ► and i would get I would make my face up [TS]

00:21:26 ◼   ► and and I I cannot imagine that that [TS]

00:21:31 ◼   ► wasn't causing a little bit of concern [TS]

00:21:36 ◼   ► core or at least a little bit of like um [TS]

00:21:40 ◼   ► I I imagine everyone was very interested [TS]

00:21:43 ◼   ► in what was what i was talking like 19 [TS]

00:21:46 ◼   ► 7676 yeah but my mom when my mom was [TS]

00:21:51 ◼   ► very encouraging [TS]

00:21:52 ◼   ► she always whenever she got to the end [TS]

00:21:54 ◼   ► of some makeup and there was just just [TS]

00:21:57 ◼   ► the you know the last little bit of [TS]

00:21:59 ◼   ► energy she decided she didn't like a [TS]

00:22:00 ◼   ► color that was another thing she decided [TS]

00:22:03 ◼   ► that has a certain color of lipstick or [TS]

00:22:05 ◼   ► eyeshadow didn't work for you know i [TS]

00:22:06 ◼   ► would get the anasso my makeup kit i had [TS]

00:22:08 ◼   ► tons and tons of options and and I I [TS]

00:22:14 ◼   ► remember looking back at it later in my [TS]

00:22:16 ◼   ► twenties and realizing no one ever said [TS]

00:22:21 ◼   ► a thing about it or looked at me [TS]

00:22:23 ◼   ► sideways or made any kind of of untoward [TS]

00:22:28 ◼   ► comment and I just happily verbal along [TS]

00:22:33 ◼   ► making myself pretty dressing and you [TS]

00:22:35 ◼   ► know I would wear the high-heeled shoes [TS]

00:22:36 ◼   ► and the feather boas and parade around [TS]

00:22:39 ◼   ► and you know and then just I mean these [TS]

00:22:44 ◼   ► days I I I would be concerned that they [TS]

00:22:47 ◼   ► would they would sign me up for sex [TS]

00:22:49 ◼   ► reassignment surgery uh-huh but at the [TS]

00:22:51 ◼   ► time it was just like I just one day I [TS]

00:22:53 ◼   ► guess I i mean i was i was a I don't [TS]

00:22:57 ◼   ► want to sound like Macklemore here but i [TS]

00:22:59 ◼   ► was playing with guns and stuff too but [TS]

00:23:02 ◼   ► it's not to say that women don't play [TS]

00:23:03 ◼   ► with guns soon you know what I'm saying [TS]

00:23:05 ◼   ► no in any case [TS]

00:23:08 ◼   ► yeah it was a chance to get became less [TS]

00:23:10 ◼   ► interesting and kind of went away you [TS]

00:23:12 ◼   ► think it's because of going to your dads [TS]

00:23:14 ◼   ► that you re i think i just didn't I [TS]

00:23:15 ◼   ► wasn't i didn't have my makeup with me [TS]

00:23:17 ◼   ► anymore I'd never became less [TS]

00:23:19 ◼   ► interesting in fact I the other day did [TS]

00:23:22 ◼   ► I was watching a sean connery movie [TS]

00:23:24 ◼   ► which is to say russia house [TS]

00:23:30 ◼   ► was watching russia house and throughout [TS]

00:23:34 ◼   ► the movie Sean Connery is playing this [TS]

00:23:35 ◼   ► sort of exaggerated character that is in [TS]

00:23:39 ◼   ► some ways like maybe a just a just a [TS]

00:23:45 ◼   ► slightly drunker me 10 years from now [TS]

00:23:47 ◼   ► and I'm watching it and I'm like why is [TS]

00:23:51 ◼   ► sean connery so beautiful even at 60 [TS]

00:23:55 ◼   ► years old [TS]

00:23:56 ◼   ► why is he so compelling why do I want to [TS]

00:23:58 ◼   ► look at his face [TS]

00:24:00 ◼   ► what is it about Sean Connery's face and [TS]

00:24:03 ◼   ► I realized Sean Connery has very [TS]

00:24:06 ◼   ► interesting eyebrows huh [TS]

00:24:09 ◼   ► Mikey's he's got he's got [TS]

00:24:11 ◼   ► salt-and-pepper beard he's got [TS]

00:24:13 ◼   ► salt-and-pepper hair in this film but [TS]

00:24:15 ◼   ► his eyebrows are like two fuzzy South [TS]

00:24:19 ◼   ► American caterpillars and so I'm sitting [TS]

00:24:24 ◼   ► watching this movie and I'm thinking you [TS]

00:24:25 ◼   ► know what my eyebrows are really blonde [TS]

00:24:29 ◼   ► oh this you're right it is he has [TS]

00:24:32 ◼   ► beautiful eyes and he has amazing [TS]

00:24:34 ◼   ► eyebrows fantastic eyebrows and then I [TS]

00:24:36 ◼   ► think I'm reflecting on my own face as [TS]

00:24:39 ◼   ► I'm watching russia house and I'm [TS]

00:24:41 ◼   ► realizing my eyebrows are barely visible [TS]

00:24:44 ◼   ► if you looked at me from across the room [TS]

00:24:47 ◼   ► you wouldn't even think i had eyebrows [TS]

00:24:49 ◼   ► and here i am I got I got a [TS]

00:24:51 ◼   ► salt-and-pepper beard I got the salt and [TS]

00:24:53 ◼   ► pepper coming in my hair but my eyebrows [TS]

00:24:56 ◼   ► have never they never came in basically [TS]

00:24:58 ◼   ► my eyebrows never fully like arrived [TS]

00:25:02 ◼   ► they just stayed this sort of blonde was [TS]

00:25:05 ◼   ► be nothing that's why I've always said [TS]

00:25:08 ◼   ► this to you more than more than my dad [TS]

00:25:11 ◼   ► more than anybody I've ever known who [TS]

00:25:13 ◼   ► looks different with the glasses off [TS]

00:25:14 ◼   ► you look so different with your glasses [TS]

00:25:17 ◼   ► off right because the glass you're [TS]

00:25:19 ◼   ► almost unrecognizable your eyes are [TS]

00:25:20 ◼   ► completely different yeah the glasses [TS]

00:25:22 ◼   ► frames give me some eyebrow em they put [TS]

00:25:25 ◼   ► some black contrast around my eyes and [TS]

00:25:29 ◼   ► without it it's just it's just like a [TS]

00:25:31 ◼   ► sandstorm from from my hairline to my [TS]

00:25:35 ◼   ► you know to my tie [TS]

00:25:38 ◼   ► basically it's just a it's like a it's [TS]

00:25:40 ◼   ► like some dishwater [TS]

00:25:42 ◼   ► that is being poured into some into a [TS]

00:25:45 ◼   ► bowl Sam and so would like to have a [TS]

00:25:49 ◼   ► margarine so I was like paused the movie [TS]

00:25:53 ◼   ► and I got up and I went into the [TS]

00:25:55 ◼   ► bathroom and I found a marker and I drew [TS]

00:25:58 ◼   ► some eyebrows on myself and then I [TS]

00:26:01 ◼   ► looked really different and looked uh I [TS]

00:26:09 ◼   ► i well like on a discomforting Lee [TS]

00:26:12 ◼   ► different and so I walked around for the [TS]

00:26:14 ◼   ► rest of the day with these like marked [TS]

00:26:18 ◼   ► in eyebrows and it was that there's a [TS]

00:26:23 ◼   ► little bit of like Groucho Marx going on [TS]

00:26:26 ◼   ► whoo-hoo um I couldn't quite decide that [TS]

00:26:30 ◼   ► but anyways all by way of saying i don't [TS]

00:26:32 ◼   ► think i ever did stop wanting to play [TS]

00:26:34 ◼   ► with makeup i think i would still play [TS]

00:26:35 ◼   ► with makeup if if I didn't you know I [TS]

00:26:38 ◼   ► didn't have to represent all these punk [TS]

00:26:42 ◼   ► rock ethics that I you know that I [TS]

00:26:44 ◼   ► basically personified the culture who [TS]

00:26:47 ◼   ► applied like a guy who doesn't trust his [TS]

00:26:50 ◼   ► hair whatever as you said that I mean [TS]

00:26:55 ◼   ► now first I googled pictures of Sean [TS]

00:26:56 ◼   ► Connery and and he has absolutely [TS]

00:26:58 ◼   ► amazing eyebrows it looks like their [TS]

00:26:59 ◼   ► looks like they might be a very slight [TS]

00:27:02 ◼   ► bit i coughed I think they're to do I [TS]

00:27:07 ◼   ► think they haven't he dies his eyebrows [TS]

00:27:09 ◼   ► and I think 30 styles as eyebrows [TS]

00:27:10 ◼   ► ok ok and then some reason I started [TS]

00:27:14 ◼   ► thinking of josh's character in JFK haha [TS]

00:27:18 ◼   ► very right with the fake the figure go [TS]

00:27:21 ◼   ► google David Ferrie w shaved his [TS]

00:27:24 ◼   ► eyebrows hey literally what is alopecia [TS]

00:27:27 ◼   ► that's a good question no no I he go [TS]

00:27:30 ◼   ► search for David Ferrie to rie and you [TS]

00:27:33 ◼   ► can see it looks like he essentially [TS]

00:27:35 ◼   ► their actual guy looks like he pretty [TS]

00:27:37 ◼   ► much took like a sharpie [TS]

00:27:39 ◼   ► like a kind of sharpie that you use for [TS]

00:27:41 ◼   ► like graffiti and just and gave himself [TS]

00:27:44 ◼   ► a little frowns above his eyes [TS]

00:27:46 ◼   ► Oh pop-up box its you have to their ears [TS]

00:27:52 ◼   ► its distinctive you're looking at the [TS]

00:27:54 ◼   ► actual guy right those eyes really stand [TS]

00:27:56 ◼   ► out so here they pop if he did not have [TS]

00:27:59 ◼   ► those eyebrows he would not be nearly as [TS]

00:28:00 ◼   ► handsome [TS]

00:28:01 ◼   ► wow wow that's a hell of a look zoom so [TS]

00:28:04 ◼   ► so yeah so I so so I've been thinking [TS]

00:28:07 ◼   ► like well now on the scale on the [TS]

00:28:10 ◼   ► continuum of middle-aged male vanity [TS]

00:28:14 ◼   ► where does dying ones eyebrows full ah [TS]

00:28:18 ◼   ► that's a good that's a good question [TS]

00:28:20 ◼   ► you know what I mean it's not like [TS]

00:28:21 ◼   ► getting it's not like getting of fancy [TS]

00:28:23 ◼   ► haircut it's not like spending a bunch [TS]

00:28:25 ◼   ► of money on brown shoes well and let's [TS]

00:28:28 ◼   ► go to the obvious ones it's not like [TS]

00:28:29 ◼   ► getting something like a chemical peel [TS]

00:28:31 ◼   ► right point omniscient ucky exactly [TS]

00:28:34 ◼   ► talks as they call it [TS]

00:28:36 ◼   ► who but dying my eyebrows would be a [TS]

00:28:39 ◼   ► tremendous for some people it would it [TS]

00:28:41 ◼   ► would be no it would be actually be a [TS]

00:28:43 ◼   ► step back in the male vanity a hallway [TS]

00:28:47 ◼   ► but for me it would be a giant leap for [TS]

00:28:52 ◼   ► a guy who cuts his own hair and shave [TS]

00:28:54 ◼   ► dry with a 99-cent razor to put coloring [TS]

00:29:00 ◼   ► in his eyebrows to give his face more [TS]

00:29:02 ◼   ► definition it just feels like a it's too [TS]

00:29:07 ◼   ► it's too vain and yet I feel like God [TS]

00:29:11 ◼   ► rip me off a little bit [TS]

00:29:13 ◼   ► no no question but these with these non [TS]

00:29:15 ◼   ► eyebrows like of all the things [TS]

00:29:19 ◼   ► yeah I mean it's great to have a [TS]

00:29:20 ◼   ► distinctive face [TS]

00:29:22 ◼   ► I mean there has to be a kind of a [TS]

00:29:24 ◼   ► combination of angles and softness and [TS]

00:29:28 ◼   ► proportion and symmetry and all these [TS]

00:29:30 ◼   ► kinds of things and so people who have [TS]

00:29:32 ◼   ► slight they say like a weak chin for [TS]

00:29:33 ◼   ► example or don't have much in the way of [TS]

00:29:35 ◼   ► cheekbones right can make it seem like [TS]

00:29:37 ◼   ► your face doesn't really have a frame to [TS]

00:29:39 ◼   ► it [TS]

00:29:39 ◼   ► yeah I said what you're saying is with [TS]

00:29:41 ◼   ► this with this ice water being poured [TS]

00:29:43 ◼   ► into a bowl of sand or whatever it is [TS]

00:29:45 ◼   ► you feel like there's there's not enough [TS]

00:29:47 ◼   ► clarity about where the top of your head [TS]

00:29:48 ◼   ► is officially starting precisely and [TS]

00:29:51 ◼   ► the thing is you know i would rather I [TS]

00:29:54 ◼   ► would rather have a no eyebrows than a [TS]

00:29:59 ◼   ► week chin [TS]

00:30:00 ◼   ► let's just go on record there i could [TS]

00:30:03 ◼   ► give up much in but uh but like eyebrows [TS]

00:30:09 ◼   ► seem like a small thing as as you know [TS]

00:30:12 ◼   ► as the great as the great chemist in the [TS]

00:30:14 ◼   ► sky is putting all the little droppers [TS]

00:30:17 ◼   ► of stuff into a into his cauldron and [TS]

00:30:21 ◼   ► making a guy like he's got the eyebrow [TS]

00:30:24 ◼   ► dropper and he's like man not this guy [TS]

00:30:28 ◼   ► like that seems a little bit but first I [TS]

00:30:32 ◼   ► just want to get out there i think this [TS]

00:30:33 ◼   ► is well in the range of acceptable [TS]

00:30:35 ◼   ► suitor vanity for a man of your age [TS]

00:30:38 ◼   ► you're really enjoying being I'm being [TS]

00:30:40 ◼   ► totally serious and i'll tell you one [TS]

00:30:41 ◼   ► reason why it's not obvious that's going [TS]

00:30:44 ◼   ► to be very much one of those things like [TS]

00:30:45 ◼   ► when you get new glasses and people go [TS]

00:30:47 ◼   ► what's different about you is in your [TS]

00:30:48 ◼   ► haircut [TS]

00:30:49 ◼   ► nobody's gonna think to go did you paint [TS]

00:30:51 ◼   ► on your eyebrows right or did you did [TS]

00:30:53 ◼   ► you do something to enhance your [TS]

00:30:54 ◼   ► eyebrows did you get an eyebrow weave or [TS]

00:30:56 ◼   ► something i don't think most people [TS]

00:30:57 ◼   ► especially other men are going to notice [TS]

00:30:59 ◼   ► at all now other men wouldn't notice [TS]

00:31:01 ◼   ► applies if I started wearing an Indian [TS]

00:31:03 ◼   ► headdress everywhere I want but right [TS]

00:31:07 ◼   ► one down [TS]

00:31:08 ◼   ► I had a friend i have a friend that back [TS]

00:31:10 ◼   ► in the nineties he was a gay man who was [TS]

00:31:12 ◼   ► about 10 years older than me his name is [TS]

00:31:14 ◼   ► Frank and he was a Basque and his last [TS]

00:31:20 ◼   ► name was spelt with a series of X's and [TS]

00:31:23 ◼   ► tease and eyes and it was a to it that [TS]

00:31:29 ◼   ► the actual pronunciation of it was just [TS]

00:31:31 ◼   ► like just sounded like some italian name [TS]

00:31:33 ◼   ► but to look at it spelled it just looked [TS]

00:31:35 ◼   ► like somebody had had just thrown down [TS]

00:31:38 ◼   ► some you know somebody was changing the [TS]

00:31:40 ◼   ► marquee at a movie theater and they just [TS]

00:31:42 ◼   ► threw down all the X's on the ground and [TS]

00:31:46 ◼   ► this guy his name is Frank and he had [TS]

00:31:49 ◼   ► absolutely the reddest hair red eye [TS]

00:31:53 ◼   ► lashes red eyebrows read everything and [TS]

00:31:56 ◼   ► he's a handsome flamboyant guy and one [TS]

00:31:59 ◼   ► day I'm walking down the street and he [TS]

00:32:00 ◼   ► was a well-known character in seattle [TS]

00:32:02 ◼   ► walking down the street and this guy [TS]

00:32:04 ◼   ► walks up to me and grabbed [TS]

00:32:05 ◼   ► me by the shirt he goes hey and I was [TS]

00:32:07 ◼   ► like get off me strange person and it [TS]

00:32:11 ◼   ► was frank who had died his hair black [TS]

00:32:14 ◼   ► but had gone the extra mile and had died [TS]

00:32:19 ◼   ► not only his eyebrows but had died his [TS]

00:32:21 ◼   ► eyelashes black oh he's a completist [TS]

00:32:24 ◼   ► plans good at what i mean and Jesse's [TS]

00:32:26 ◼   ► he's the he's cool he's committed he [TS]

00:32:28 ◼   ► leans in and he you know he's like it's [TS]

00:32:31 ◼   ► me and I went oh my god damn heat and [TS]

00:32:34 ◼   ► the first thing he wanted to show me [TS]

00:32:35 ◼   ► with his eyelashes seems like look at my [TS]

00:32:37 ◼   ► eyelashes and she was utterly a [TS]

00:32:41 ◼   ► different person a transformation that [TS]

00:32:45 ◼   ► and you know and I i honestly think if i [TS]

00:32:48 ◼   ► just colored my eyebrows I could [TS]

00:32:50 ◼   ► disappear into a crowd and my best [TS]

00:32:53 ◼   ► friend wouldn't recognize him i took my [TS]

00:32:55 ◼   ► glasses off died my eyebrows I wouldn't [TS]

00:32:57 ◼   ► have to change another thing you have it [TS]

00:32:59 ◼   ► you know it's there and the thing is BP [TS]

00:33:01 ◼   ► would not just wouldn't register is the [TS]

00:33:03 ◼   ► cool part people just know John looks [TS]

00:33:06 ◼   ► better [TS]

00:33:06 ◼   ► we're not sure why it's probably because [TS]

00:33:07 ◼   ► he cut out the wheat me right [TS]

00:33:10 ◼   ► uh-huh John cut out the wheat and his [TS]

00:33:13 ◼   ► eyebrows filled-in you think she [TS]

00:33:15 ◼   ► actually i see i'm telling you i don't [TS]

00:33:17 ◼   ► think i don't think they would notice i [TS]

00:33:19 ◼   ► don't think they would be able to pay it [TS]

00:33:20 ◼   ► i think it would be completely [TS]

00:33:21 ◼   ► perplexing to them it would just be like [TS]

00:33:23 ◼   ► you look rested [TS]

00:33:24 ◼   ► I bet you look here's the thing you get [TS]

00:33:26 ◼   ► contrast now right you're gonna look so [TS]

00:33:28 ◼   ► rested you know you look at you look [TS]

00:33:31 ◼   ► lonely sandwich he's got some good [TS]

00:33:33 ◼   ► eyebrows I could everything you know Dan [TS]

00:33:36 ◼   ► Benjamin big big eyebrows over a lot of [TS]

00:33:40 ◼   ► the people you work with our eyebrow [TS]

00:33:41 ◼   ► people hadn't thought about this and [TS]

00:33:44 ◼   ► then me I'm like some kind of like like [TS]

00:33:47 ◼   ► eyebrow desert [TS]

00:33:49 ◼   ► I don't understand it's got some small [TS]

00:33:51 ◼   ► part of John thinking why not mean how [TS]

00:33:53 ◼   ► come I didn't get the eyedropper [TS]

00:33:54 ◼   ► literally mhm [TS]

00:33:56 ◼   ► I i think it's i think it's a terrific [TS]

00:33:58 ◼   ► idea i think it's something you could [TS]

00:33:59 ◼   ► start very modestly you could explode as [TS]

00:34:01 ◼   ► with your mom your mom's a hand-me-down [TS]

00:34:03 ◼   ► makeup you can experiment around the [TS]

00:34:05 ◼   ► house while you're preparing a meal you [TS]

00:34:07 ◼   ► can just try it on see if it's not too [TS]

00:34:09 ◼   ► heavy [TS]

00:34:09 ◼   ► well but here's the thing I there are a [TS]

00:34:11 ◼   ► lot of so a lot of guys come up to me in [TS]

00:34:13 ◼   ► there that you know that we've talked [TS]

00:34:14 ◼   ► about this before they're insecure about [TS]

00:34:16 ◼   ► their beards [TS]

00:34:17 ◼   ► oh yeah and I get a lot of young guys [TS]

00:34:19 ◼   ► with light beards wispy beard who think [TS]

00:34:22 ◼   ► that a little hare Club for Men or [TS]

00:34:24 ◼   ► whatever the best performance and [TS]

00:34:27 ◼   ► surround us to get the stuff the like [TS]

00:34:29 ◼   ► that precisely right or it's basically a [TS]

00:34:31 ◼   ► graphite from a pencil you can get your [TS]

00:34:33 ◼   ► beard right uh yeah that's the stuff the [TS]

00:34:34 ◼   ► chuck norris and Steven Segal use where [TS]

00:34:37 ◼   ► it's like your rides a sudden their [TS]

00:34:39 ◼   ► beard looks like they were like giving [TS]

00:34:43 ◼   ► cunnilingus to a cat and then face was [TS]

00:34:45 ◼   ► covered with mentholatum you know where [TS]

00:34:49 ◼   ► their it you know it is chuck norris's [TS]

00:34:51 ◼   ► beard but it's clearly they took nor is [TS]

00:34:54 ◼   ► literally eating pussy haha his beer [TS]

00:35:02 ◼   ► his spirit is the fake check horses [TS]

00:35:04 ◼   ► fake-looking but his beard is the fake [TS]

00:35:07 ◼   ► is looking thing about him and I'm gonna [TS]

00:35:09 ◼   ► get it as with the two-page we talked [TS]

00:35:11 ◼   ► about its it's way too dark and ample [TS]

00:35:14 ◼   ► it's too it's too pushy but it's really [TS]

00:35:15 ◼   ► it's way too dark for man of his age [TS]

00:35:17 ◼   ► Zach exactly and the problem but being a [TS]

00:35:20 ◼   ► young guy who puts that paint in his [TS]

00:35:22 ◼   ► beard is the same problem you all of a [TS]

00:35:24 ◼   ► sudden you've got a beard that is that's [TS]

00:35:28 ◼   ► completely implausible [TS]

00:35:30 ◼   ► yeah you need your young person and if [TS]

00:35:32 ◼   ► you have a blond beard it it it is [TS]

00:35:34 ◼   ► evident in your eyes that your beard is [TS]

00:35:37 ◼   ► blonde you can you can diet but your [TS]

00:35:40 ◼   ► eyes betray the blonde the blondeness at [TS]

00:35:43 ◼   ► yours at your Center and I'm worried [TS]

00:35:47 ◼   ► that the blondeness that's still at my [TS]

00:35:49 ◼   ► center will be evident over and so the [TS]

00:35:54 ◼   ► the ruse of the eyebrows will at the [TS]

00:35:59 ◼   ► game will be up even a stranger would [TS]

00:36:01 ◼   ► look at me and say there's something [TS]

00:36:04 ◼   ► blonder about you than you're repping [TS]

00:36:06 ◼   ► well I you know you're a thinker I can't [TS]

00:36:09 ◼   ► stop that but i think this could be a [TS]

00:36:12 ◼   ► really valuable experiment experiment [TS]

00:36:14 ◼   ► all you really need [TS]

00:36:15 ◼   ► see I don't even know what to say which [TS]

00:36:16 ◼   ► make up to get but i'm telling you if [TS]

00:36:18 ◼   ► you had one lady who you trust [TS]

00:36:21 ◼   ► we're right there right there right [TS]

00:36:24 ◼   ► what if it was about that but but here's [TS]

00:36:28 ◼   ► the thing and somebody who's good with [TS]

00:36:29 ◼   ► makeup i can think of at least one lady [TS]

00:36:31 ◼   ► you know that I know he's very [TS]

00:36:32 ◼   ► attractive in it has great backup and [TS]

00:36:35 ◼   ► and somebody you trust who could do it [TS]

00:36:37 ◼   ► gradually and with the right color so it [TS]

00:36:40 ◼   ► wasn't too much because here's the [TS]

00:36:42 ◼   ► problem we get back to the Calvin Klein [TS]

00:36:43 ◼   ► problem is now you may not know you [TS]

00:36:45 ◼   ► might start going like oh this looks [TS]

00:36:46 ◼   ► pretty great i should get a bigger hair [TS]

00:36:48 ◼   ► hat let go you know what I mean and you [TS]

00:36:50 ◼   ► you get so it's it's a it's a form of [TS]

00:36:52 ◼   ► personal fetishization we're going like [TS]

00:36:54 ◼   ► oh you know I look good with my teeth on [TS]

00:36:57 ◼   ► yellowed I should get them whiter I [TS]

00:37:00 ◼   ► should get I should get veneers put on I [TS]

00:37:02 ◼   ► should get these giant choppers that are [TS]

00:37:04 ◼   ► blindingly white and obviously take [TS]

00:37:05 ◼   ► giant veneers where you can see the you [TS]

00:37:10 ◼   ► can see the small yellow rotten tooth [TS]

00:37:11 ◼   ► behind that guy like different but um [TS]

00:37:14 ◼   ► yeah that right i mean you know a little [TS]

00:37:16 ◼   ► bit of color in your eyebrows looks [TS]

00:37:18 ◼   ► great and then all of a sudden I'm [TS]

00:37:20 ◼   ► walking around and I you know I've got [TS]

00:37:21 ◼   ► like a three finger eyebrows on either [TS]

00:37:23 ◼   ► side you know exactly is that height [TS]

00:37:28 ◼   ► there are three fingers right [TS]

00:37:31 ◼   ► oh you brought a modern loosely me and [TS]

00:37:34 ◼   ► it looks like Groucho you look like you [TS]

00:37:36 ◼   ► have grease paint the shiny I break-ups [TS]

00:37:39 ◼   ► well I feel like I feel like I need to [TS]

00:37:41 ◼   ► do something about this i don't know [TS]

00:37:42 ◼   ► whether it's that I thought I start [TS]

00:37:44 ◼   ► wearing a run DMC glasses or that that I [TS]

00:37:48 ◼   ► mean like I feel like maybe a glasses [TS]

00:37:50 ◼   ► yeah no glasses where it just makes me [TS]

00:37:51 ◼   ► just gives me recognize or whether i [TS]

00:37:55 ◼   ► need to start doing my eyebrows a little [TS]

00:37:57 ◼   ► bit you know [TS]

00:37:58 ◼   ► yeah i just want to say John I would say [TS]

00:38:01 ◼   ► step away from having any trepidation [TS]

00:38:03 ◼   ► about this dive into this have some fun [TS]

00:38:05 ◼   ► with that you are you are literally a [TS]

00:38:07 ◼   ► performer [TS]

00:38:07 ◼   ► this is part of your work oh true true [TS]

00:38:10 ◼   ► true this could be excused Swift [TS]

00:38:12 ◼   ► surrounding so should i be pretty today [TS]

00:38:14 ◼   ► now she know she should be pretty you [TS]

00:38:17 ◼   ► should die you should dive into this [TS]

00:38:18 ◼   ► with gusto [TS]

00:38:19 ◼   ► you could you could probably you know [TS]

00:38:21 ◼   ► you might be you know what you could [TS]

00:38:23 ◼   ► maybe get like I don't like Maybelline [TS]

00:38:25 ◼   ► or a max factor or mary kay you know [TS]

00:38:28 ◼   ► like apologies to get it free Chuck's [TS]

00:38:30 ◼   ► maybe you could get some makeup [TS]

00:38:33 ◼   ► well I've thought about this in another [TS]

00:38:34 ◼   ► context which is the [TS]

00:38:37 ◼   ► the mod haircut [TS]

00:38:40 ◼   ► here's the thing about the mod haircut i [TS]

00:38:42 ◼   ► mean like i like a Caesar come over and [TS]

00:38:45 ◼   ► I'm talking about like a like a Style [TS]

00:38:48 ◼   ► Council haircut like a floopy haircut [TS]

00:38:52 ◼   ► um stop council who right now i'm [TS]

00:38:55 ◼   ► thinking i can't decide if i'm thinking [TS]

00:38:56 ◼   ► more like the guy from suede or like [TS]

00:38:59 ◼   ► Keith Moon I its it well don't you don't [TS]

00:39:04 ◼   ► you want floopy pseudo goth locks no [TS]

00:39:06 ◼   ► think about Ron Wood em in 7d before he [TS]

00:39:12 ◼   ► joined the stone like a shag like a [TS]

00:39:14 ◼   ► share the paul weller maybe five years [TS]

00:39:18 ◼   ► ago John a paul weller in well under you [TS]

00:39:23 ◼   ► and I are well into the age where we [TS]

00:39:24 ◼   ► need to think carefully about shaggy [TS]

00:39:26 ◼   ► hair [TS]

00:39:26 ◼   ► yeah no I know this is the thing but I [TS]

00:39:28 ◼   ► never really had that you look tired [TS]

00:39:30 ◼   ► it makes you look tired i feel like it [TS]

00:39:32 ◼   ► does make you look tired but I can't [TS]

00:39:34 ◼   ► decide whether it's just that people in [TS]

00:39:36 ◼   ► the middle age you are still wearing a [TS]

00:39:38 ◼   ► shag haircut are actually just tired [TS]

00:39:41 ◼   ► like they feel like maybe those are the [TS]

00:39:43 ◼   ► tired people [TS]

00:39:44 ◼   ► yeah because I just don't trust my own [TS]

00:39:46 ◼   ► instincts you can hear me being trying [TS]

00:39:48 ◼   ► to be circumspect about this because I [TS]

00:39:49 ◼   ► know like I I'm hey I'm to use your [TS]

00:39:52 ◼   ► words a grotesquerie like I when I went [TS]

00:39:54 ◼   ► in today and I got my eyes examined and [TS]

00:39:56 ◼   ► got some new glasses are making for me [TS]

00:39:58 ◼   ► and egg every single pair of glasses I [TS]

00:40:01 ◼   ► put on look asinine still not nearly as [TS]

00:40:04 ◼   ► good as the ones my sister-in-law [TS]

00:40:05 ◼   ► throwaway nothing i'm angry but but [TS]

00:40:07 ◼   ► every every pair of glasses I put on I [TS]

00:40:09 ◼   ► looked like somebody who wanted to be a [TS]

00:40:11 ◼   ► danish architect for halloween [TS]

00:40:13 ◼   ► yes that was 60 yes you know they're all [TS]

00:40:16 ◼   ► very angular and Nordic or something [TS]

00:40:20 ◼   ► I and I just I'm afraid that if i get if [TS]

00:40:24 ◼   ► i got a shaggy haircut like pretty soon [TS]

00:40:27 ◼   ► i would be on the robert evans path like [TS]

00:40:29 ◼   ► I would start like moisturizing it's [TS]

00:40:31 ◼   ► right it's very Robin boys arises if you [TS]

00:40:33 ◼   ► can say to I moisturize I could see [TS]

00:40:36 ◼   ► moisturizing I don't even [TS]

00:40:38 ◼   ► I think I think lack of moisturizing is [TS]

00:40:41 ◼   ► maybe a problem for me because I i have [TS]

00:40:43 ◼   ► I IH I get it just uh huh and the way [TS]

00:40:48 ◼   ► that I solve my itch problem is that i [TS]

00:40:50 ◼   ► put super hot scalding water on the the [TS]

00:40:53 ◼   ► place where I hid genric I can't even [TS]

00:40:55 ◼   ► tell you how much hydrogen peroxide I'm [TS]

00:40:57 ◼   ► going through at this point I and it's a [TS]

00:40:59 ◼   ► wonderful [TS]

00:40:59 ◼   ► hi rush engines my game your you got me [TS]

00:41:02 ◼   ► into that burning now and I I can't look [TS]

00:41:04 ◼   ► back i use it on every part of my body I [TS]

00:41:06 ◼   ► use a mouthwash probably three or four [TS]

00:41:07 ◼   ► times a day and it foams and it burns [TS]

00:41:11 ◼   ► that you know working [TS]

00:41:12 ◼   ► yes but the problem the problem is i [TS]

00:41:16 ◼   ► went into the doctor and and I said I so [TS]

00:41:19 ◼   ► i'm using a lot of hot scalding water [TS]

00:41:21 ◼   ► and a lot of hydrogen peroxide to get [TS]

00:41:25 ◼   ► your my head it's 1920s took yer pretty [TS]

00:41:28 ◼   ► much all of my problem because in my [TS]

00:41:32 ◼   ► head I met i'm at a catalog facility [TS]

00:41:34 ◼   ► theory and they are giving me weird [TS]

00:41:38 ◼   ► times I thought you meant the bowels and [TS]

00:41:41 ◼   ► yea even a lot of steel cut oats and [TS]

00:41:44 ◼   ► scolding myself and pouring hydrogen [TS]

00:41:48 ◼   ► peroxide into the woods and the doctor [TS]

00:41:50 ◼   ► said well as it occurred to you that you [TS]

00:41:53 ◼   ► are using I mean that hot scalding water [TS]

00:41:56 ◼   ► and hydrogen peroxide both dry your skin [TS]

00:42:00 ◼   ► against skin Socrates you maybe you may [TS]

00:42:05 ◼   ► be experiencing itching because because [TS]

00:42:08 ◼   ► of the treatments that you're giving [TS]

00:42:10 ◼   ► yourself the unauthorized treatments and [TS]

00:42:12 ◼   ► maybe what you should do instead is [TS]

00:42:13 ◼   ► moisturize and I was like what is this [TS]

00:42:17 ◼   ► an estee lauder emergency room [TS]

00:42:20 ◼   ► I don't want to moisturize I don't want [TS]

00:42:23 ◼   ► to become a guy who moisturizes but then [TS]

00:42:26 ◼   ► I walked out of there and I was like is [TS]

00:42:28 ◼   ► this this is this is another right I [TS]

00:42:30 ◼   ► side of middle C I and this is the thing [TS]

00:42:32 ◼   ► with me and maybe it's like he maybe [TS]

00:42:34 ◼   ► it's like you and that unopened bottle [TS]

00:42:35 ◼   ► of whiskey like it's their right for me [TS]

00:42:37 ◼   ► like a friend of mine for I can for like [TS]

00:42:40 ◼   ► a stocking stuffer gift-giving some [TS]

00:42:41 ◼   ► keels cream [TS]

00:42:42 ◼   ► yeah it was really it felt really good [TS]

00:42:45 ◼   ► well sure that's how they get you you [TS]

00:42:47 ◼   ► know I'm trying to I'm trying to go the [TS]

00:42:49 ◼   ► other [TS]

00:42:49 ◼   ► Eunice's isn't you too it's real and [TS]

00:42:53 ◼   ► it's not even like I'm over a masculine [TS]

00:42:55 ◼   ► anything it's just complexity thing if [TS]

00:42:57 ◼   ► they don't want to and it's expensive [TS]

00:42:59 ◼   ► it's very very costly hot water is [TS]

00:43:02 ◼   ► negligible and costs even even during a [TS]

00:43:04 ◼   ► drought and then then you become a guy [TS]

00:43:06 ◼   ► who's like oh I can't go on that trip I [TS]

00:43:09 ◼   ► forgot my crazy i forgot my cream i'm [TS]

00:43:13 ◼   ► sorry i can't go walk to the top of the [TS]

00:43:15 ◼   ► of the hill with you I have to go to [TS]

00:43:17 ◼   ► town to get some more cream because [TS]

00:43:20 ◼   ► without it I am i I'm a sobbing wreck [TS]

00:43:25 ◼   ► we're going to have to catch a later [TS]

00:43:26 ◼   ► funicular haha him I have to go pick up [TS]

00:43:29 ◼   ► some creepy and propped up now in my in [TS]

00:43:32 ◼   ► my old age i propped up by cream and a [TS]

00:43:35 ◼   ► girdle and now you ever done that my [TS]

00:43:38 ◼   ► eyebrow pencils I'm telling you man I've [TS]

00:43:41 ◼   ► you boy up and they hold a back brace [TS]

00:43:43 ◼   ► and make you feel real slender know what [TS]

00:43:46 ◼   ► you're losing weight now because the [TS]

00:43:47 ◼   ► week ready story continuing to lose [TS]

00:43:49 ◼   ► weight or have you sort of most people [TS]

00:43:51 ◼   ► get to a certain point and then they [TS]

00:43:52 ◼   ► hang in the same plus or minus five six [TS]

00:43:54 ◼   ► pound area [TS]

00:43:55 ◼   ► yeah I have plateaued i have plateaued [TS]

00:43:57 ◼   ► at what was formerly my fat weight like [TS]

00:44:01 ◼   ► until I was 35 [TS]

00:44:03 ◼   ► I had a weight i had a top wait oh I [TS]

00:44:06 ◼   ► know what you mean an apology [TS]

00:44:08 ◼   ► yep yep and I never got to the thai hard [TS]

00:44:11 ◼   ► hardly ever got to the top way when I [TS]

00:44:13 ◼   ► did I was ashamed of Who and I was [TS]

00:44:15 ◼   ► always striving to get back to the [TS]

00:44:17 ◼   ► bottom way and I never quite got there [TS]

00:44:18 ◼   ► but then sometime in my forties I went [TS]

00:44:23 ◼   ► screaming past my top weight just like [TS]

00:44:26 ◼   ► top-down stereo on hair blowing in the [TS]

00:44:30 ◼   ► wind Nana the top weight was in the [TS]

00:44:34 ◼   ► review beer I was flipping double birds [TS]

00:44:37 ◼   ► i was peeing in a milk carton heading [TS]

00:44:41 ◼   ► down the highway and so when I stopped [TS]

00:44:44 ◼   ► eating wheat I like lost all that like [TS]

00:44:48 ◼   ► secondary top-weight AJ stop way to [TS]

00:44:50 ◼   ► jason's who top-weight annex and then I [TS]

00:44:54 ◼   ► got back to like top-weight neighborhood [TS]

00:44:57 ◼   ► and then i stalled and the wait wait [TS]

00:44:59 ◼   ► stop going off and I started like cheat [TS]

00:45:02 ◼   ► day started being [TS]

00:45:03 ◼   ► cheat weekend started being cheated you [TS]

00:45:05 ◼   ► know yeah but the thing is when I eat [TS]

00:45:08 ◼   ► wheat I still feel to Harrow that's it [TS]

00:45:10 ◼   ► that's it for me [TS]

00:45:11 ◼   ► yeah I taken off some weight because I'd [TS]

00:45:13 ◼   ► pretty much I did several I've done [TS]

00:45:15 ◼   ► several health related things that I [TS]

00:45:17 ◼   ► thought I needed to do getting more [TS]

00:45:19 ◼   ► sleep [TS]

00:45:20 ◼   ► trying to eat a lot more protein and you [TS]

00:45:22 ◼   ► know here's the thing i mean it's cool [TS]

00:45:23 ◼   ► yeah you know again back to the food for [TS]

00:45:25 ◼   ► happy new year but you guys been so long [TS]

00:45:28 ◼   ► since we've talked about it but for me [TS]

00:45:29 ◼   ► it's real simple like I don't want to [TS]

00:45:32 ◼   ► get into a thing I don't have the cycles [TS]

00:45:35 ◼   ► or the interest to dive into something a [TS]

00:45:37 ◼   ► totally bananas diet with a brand name [TS]

00:45:39 ◼   ► all I do is to everything I can to avoid [TS]

00:45:42 ◼   ► we accept when I can't and to eat stuff [TS]

00:45:45 ◼   ► with as much protein as possible i'm not [TS]

00:45:47 ◼   ► really worried about how much fat is in [TS]

00:45:48 ◼   ► it it's just if stuff like like begin [TS]

00:45:51 ◼   ► like beef jerky or things like that has [TS]

00:45:53 ◼   ► just blood tons of protein in it and it [TS]

00:45:55 ◼   ► will give you energy looking oh that's a [TS]

00:45:57 ◼   ► snack but if you eat that you will feel [TS]

00:45:59 ◼   ► better [TS]

00:45:59 ◼   ► whereas if i go on to sit down I'm going [TS]

00:46:01 ◼   ► to tuck into this two pounds of fucking [TS]

00:46:02 ◼   ► chow mein and I feel like shit like that [TS]

00:46:06 ◼   ► KFC now I'm out for like two days [TS]

00:46:09 ◼   ► yep yep and i'm i'm the same but but i'm [TS]

00:46:13 ◼   ► no longer i'm no longer accruing to [TS]

00:46:16 ◼   ► myself all of the like what I what I was [TS]

00:46:20 ◼   ► kind of what I was smugly calling the [TS]

00:46:25 ◼   ► tangential benefits like oh I didn't [TS]

00:46:28 ◼   ► quit eating way to lose weight quickly [TS]

00:46:30 ◼   ► week because blood is a middle-aged man [TS]

00:46:33 ◼   ► yeah I quit because of bullshit but then [TS]

00:46:36 ◼   ► it turned into real and also i'm losing [TS]

00:46:39 ◼   ► weight and now i'm not doing that [TS]

00:46:41 ◼   ► anymore and now it just feels like i [TS]

00:46:43 ◼   ► have a medical condition and i'm back in [TS]

00:46:46 ◼   ► a fucking brace I'm back I'm back in a [TS]

00:46:48 ◼   ► I'm back I'm back in my polio crutches [TS]

00:46:51 ◼   ► and now now it's like I'm still a fat [TS]

00:46:55 ◼   ► guy but i can't eat spaghetti anymore [TS]

00:46:57 ◼   ► Oh No so anyways so the other day i was [TS]

00:47:01 ◼   ► that that's terrible for a fact that [TS]

00:47:03 ◼   ► it's not good that guys love spaghetti [TS]

00:47:06 ◼   ► that guy if you get back i can't eat [TS]

00:47:08 ◼   ► spaghetti what kind of fact I do so I [TS]

00:47:10 ◼   ► was at the mall the other day for a [TS]

00:47:13 ◼   ► totally different reason [TS]

00:47:15 ◼   ► and I noticed that the more buying cream [TS]

00:47:17 ◼   ► i was that was not buying cream i was at [TS]

00:47:19 ◼   ► the mall because you know I'm a family [TS]

00:47:22 ◼   ► man and family men are required to go to [TS]

00:47:24 ◼   ► the mall food by the police and i went [TS]

00:47:28 ◼   ► there and I saw that there was an LA [TS]

00:47:31 ◼   ► fitness at the local mall and I became [TS]

00:47:35 ◼   ► curious about what an LA fitness is what [TS]

00:47:38 ◼   ► it represents [TS]

00:47:39 ◼   ► uh-huh so I went and I looked it is a it [TS]

00:47:43 ◼   ► is a chain of this is superficial and [TS]

00:47:45 ◼   ► only pretends to like it if it's a yeah [TS]

00:47:48 ◼   ► it's a fit its fitness place that is [TS]

00:47:50 ◼   ► stuck in traffic for two hours just a [TS]

00:47:52 ◼   ► locked door that's his call me sometime [TS]

00:47:53 ◼   ► and and so now I am toying with the idea [TS]

00:47:57 ◼   ► of joining a fitness club Bob Lee and [TS]

00:48:00 ◼   ► then going and then we'll be talking [TS]

00:48:02 ◼   ► about exercise are you gonna get bulky [TS]

00:48:04 ◼   ► don't get bulky John i don't i don't [TS]

00:48:07 ◼   ► think i think you know i have that skin [TS]

00:48:09 ◼   ► that doesn't am good because i do not [TS]

00:48:12 ◼   ► like looking at extremely fit all guys [TS]

00:48:14 ◼   ► I'd rather see a saggy old guy and [TS]

00:48:16 ◼   ► somebody with saggy old guy skin who [TS]

00:48:18 ◼   ► happens to have muscle pumps horrifying [TS]

00:48:21 ◼   ► using the chest of a muscular man [TS]

00:48:23 ◼   ► horrifying [TS]

00:48:24 ◼   ► yeah I mean it's not like the chest of a [TS]

00:48:26 ◼   ► muscular old guys anything to write home [TS]

00:48:29 ◼   ► well but at least its natural thing [TS]

00:48:31 ◼   ► about old people is the Paraclete tell [TS]

00:48:33 ◼   ► you I mean listen I'm looking at a [TS]

00:48:34 ◼   ► picture of paul weller right now and his [TS]

00:48:36 ◼   ► skin is the color of oxblood I mean he [TS]

00:48:40 ◼   ► is he is literally a court oven shoe [TS]

00:48:43 ◼   ► according to shoot from that is a [TS]

00:48:45 ◼   ► quarter-inch it has a quarter inch of [TS]

00:48:47 ◼   ► the face he has like a fringe of hair in [TS]

00:48:51 ◼   ► in like salt and pepper [TS]

00:48:55 ◼   ► that looks like somebody put a sham [TS]

00:48:57 ◼   ► while on his head but he looks awesome [TS]

00:49:00 ◼   ► he looks amazing but it was like he [TS]

00:49:02 ◼   ► looks like somebody left them out in the [TS]

00:49:04 ◼   ► Sun a little too i mean just in the [TS]

00:49:05 ◼   ► sense of he looks like he's a little [TS]

00:49:07 ◼   ► raisiny well he does and if you don't [TS]

00:49:09 ◼   ► sure I guarantee you it would look like [TS]

00:49:11 ◼   ► somebody somebody hung two persons on a [TS]

00:49:15 ◼   ► tree [TS]

00:49:17 ◼   ► not good what if you can tell your [TS]

00:49:24 ◼   ► trainer that's what you're looking for [TS]

00:49:26 ◼   ► yeah somebody hung two small brown [TS]

00:49:28 ◼   ► percent on a trip by the thinking more [TS]

00:49:31 ◼   ► like guys like to evening bags nothing [TS]

00:49:33 ◼   ► ostentatious but something to keep keep [TS]

00:49:36 ◼   ► the cream in but he looks great [TS]

00:49:40 ◼   ► he's graduating without didn't Nick Lowe [TS]

00:49:41 ◼   ► and I'd known it low i'm gonna guess i'm [TS]

00:49:44 ◼   ► gonna guess you know he's rich right we [TS]

00:49:45 ◼   ► talked about the scene it was Richard [TS]

00:49:47 ◼   ► Nixon logarithm never believed in a [TS]

00:49:48 ◼   ► million years he wrote uh didn't get [TS]

00:49:51 ◼   ► rich from using steam no no even better [TS]

00:49:54 ◼   ► like what is the path to fame today I [TS]

00:49:56 ◼   ► just like for example you make anything [TS]

00:49:57 ◼   ► up the OC soundtrack [TS]

00:49:59 ◼   ► oh yeah he has a song on the bodyguard [TS]

00:50:03 ◼   ► soundtrack [TS]

00:50:05 ◼   ► yeah rising tide raises all those boom [TS]

00:50:09 ◼   ► yep so he can do what he wants now [TS]

00:50:11 ◼   ► because he's on the fucking bodyguard [TS]

00:50:12 ◼   ► soundtrack right and that was like the [TS]

00:50:13 ◼   ► most advanced properties yes precisely [TS]

00:50:16 ◼   ► yeah yeah that happened to the posies [TS]

00:50:18 ◼   ► are you all rested powers know they had [TS]

00:50:22 ◼   ► that song on reality bites soundtrack [TS]

00:50:24 ◼   ► oh you're kidding me and the reality [TS]

00:50:26 ◼   ► bites soundtrack for whatever what it [TS]

00:50:28 ◼   ► was it represented at that moment in [TS]

00:50:30 ◼   ► time I think that people wanted to buy I [TS]

00:50:32 ◼   ► don't know I thought it was like [TS]

00:50:34 ◼   ► Soundgarden e-meter jami I don't know I [TS]

00:50:37 ◼   ► never that's awesome that's so that's so [TS]

00:50:39 ◼   ► great so that's that that's how they can [TS]

00:50:41 ◼   ► afford that luxury that they enjoy yeah [TS]

00:50:43 ◼   ► right exactly so they you know i think [TS]

00:50:45 ◼   ► that i think i think they have a extra [TS]

00:50:48 ◼   ► cash Chris blue says he's thinking of [TS]

00:50:50 ◼   ► retiring getting into the check-cashing [TS]

00:50:52 ◼   ► business [TS]

00:50:53 ◼   ► oh here's a picture of paul weller with [TS]

00:50:56 ◼   ► a with a fat Tommy [TS]

00:50:58 ◼   ► Oh something's going on with Paul keep [TS]

00:51:02 ◼   ► sucks [TS]

00:51:03 ◼   ► oh with the purple shirt purple shirt is [TS]

00:51:05 ◼   ► local chubby how he's getting that old [TS]

00:51:07 ◼   ► lesbian look yet but he does the quick [TS]

00:51:09 ◼   ► an old lesbian he looks like he's a [TS]

00:51:10 ◼   ► singer of the psychedelic furs [TS]

00:51:12 ◼   ► there is that one tumblr what is it old [TS]

00:51:18 ◼   ► man who looked like lesbians or [TS]

00:51:20 ◼   ► something like that [TS]

00:51:21 ◼   ► yeah I I got to the last page i looked [TS]

00:51:24 ◼   ► at every single page and i was sad when [TS]

00:51:26 ◼   ► i got to the end it might've been a [TS]

00:51:27 ◼   ► blogspot thing but you know I gotta say [TS]

00:51:29 ◼   ► nothing against paul well I am a fan I'm [TS]

00:51:31 ◼   ► a big-time sure but like I he kind of [TS]

00:51:34 ◼   ► looks like a lot of these photos it [TS]

00:51:36 ◼   ► looks a little bit like he had a [TS]

00:51:38 ◼   ► makeover for a time like you got it you [TS]

00:51:41 ◼   ► know what I'm saying this is again [TS]

00:51:42 ◼   ► nothing to disparage him he looks great [TS]

00:51:44 ◼   ► but it looks like he put this look [TS]

00:51:46 ◼   ► together for a while and that it was [TS]

00:51:48 ◼   ► hard to sustain that haircut is not a [TS]

00:51:50 ◼   ► haircut is not gonna take care of itself [TS]

00:51:52 ◼   ► you don't get that thing cut every two [TS]

00:51:53 ◼   ► weeks yeah yeah well I and that's the [TS]

00:51:56 ◼   ► thing it's a signature look so he can't [TS]

00:51:58 ◼   ► he can't get away from it you know what [TS]

00:52:00 ◼   ► I mean like it's not like paul weller [TS]

00:52:02 ◼   ► can just start wearing his hair like a [TS]

00:52:05 ◼   ► normal guy [TS]

00:52:06 ◼   ► yeah if there's there's an expectation [TS]

00:52:07 ◼   ► that he's going to show up in that hair [TS]

00:52:09 ◼   ► and that is a thing I have always tried [TS]

00:52:11 ◼   ► to avoid in my own case not that I'm [TS]

00:52:14 ◼   ► under the same pressure that Paul Weller [TS]

00:52:15 ◼   ► is under to represent well but you know [TS]

00:52:18 ◼   ► like whatever people say whenever people [TS]

00:52:22 ◼   ► start talking about my beard too much I [TS]

00:52:23 ◼   ► shave it off just to be difficult and [TS]

00:52:27 ◼   ► the the problem with that of course is [TS]

00:52:28 ◼   ► that as i get older i don't want to [TS]

00:52:30 ◼   ► shave my beard anymore it's just too [TS]

00:52:32 ◼   ► much just to recognizing over and [TS]

00:52:36 ◼   ► whenever I go to Europe people are in [TS]

00:52:38 ◼   ► that European way they're always really [TS]

00:52:40 ◼   ► happy to tell me like you should never [TS]

00:52:42 ◼   ► shave your beards you look a lot better [TS]

00:52:44 ◼   ► without some ways to get your face is [TS]

00:52:47 ◼   ► not as good and sweet tribute it's [TS]

00:52:50 ◼   ► probably it's probably a very very long [TS]

00:52:52 ◼   ► german word for beard Shape this shut up [TS]

00:52:55 ◼   ► you people [TS]

00:52:56 ◼   ► yeah i'm sure there is and i'm sure they [TS]

00:52:57 ◼   ► have said it to me and I i'm already [TS]

00:53:00 ◼   ► looking at the next person in the [TS]

00:53:01 ◼   ► Merchant I don't want to belabor this a [TS]

00:53:03 ◼   ► physical appearance issue but it is this [TS]

00:53:06 ◼   ► kind of the sort of haircut you're [TS]

00:53:08 ◼   ► thinking about well know now that i see [TS]

00:53:10 ◼   ► it on something vanderslice ii kinda [TS]

00:53:12 ◼   ► Paul vanderslice you know what what's [TS]

00:53:15 ◼   ► interesting about it when you really [TS]

00:53:16 ◼   ► look at those haircuts is they're very [TS]

00:53:17 ◼   ► choppy like they're they are they're a [TS]

00:53:21 ◼   ► little too like I remember when [TS]

00:53:23 ◼   ► vanderslice first started to cut his [TS]

00:53:25 ◼   ► hair really [TS]

00:53:26 ◼   ► really hip really young and I felt like [TS]

00:53:31 ◼   ► 30 you know he's not he's not and and I [TS]

00:53:35 ◼   ► felt looks good looks real good [TS]

00:53:37 ◼   ► he does look good but that but my [TS]

00:53:39 ◼   ► initial feeling was that it was a little [TS]

00:53:41 ◼   ► too chair noble like its it seemed like [TS]

00:53:48 ◼   ► somebody got a little too many red we're [TS]

00:53:50 ◼   ► just glad you're alive i think what I'm [TS]

00:53:53 ◼   ► thinking of is ron wood or I'm thinking [TS]

00:53:54 ◼   ► of caregiving of Keith Richards it's [TS]

00:53:56 ◼   ► like 70 Sarah faces Iran would like but [TS]

00:54:00 ◼   ► spiky spiky but long time he looked like [TS]

00:54:04 ◼   ► Elvira I could find my friend i will i'm [TS]

00:54:07 ◼   ► afraid that the the part of me that [TS]

00:54:09 ◼   ► wants to be Keith Richards in 77 it was [TS]

00:54:12 ◼   ► gonna get this is like by this is like [TS]

00:54:14 ◼   ► buying a Corvette it's going to right at [TS]

00:54:19 ◼   ► the point where I finally like feel like [TS]

00:54:22 ◼   ► I've earned the right or I i can finally [TS]

00:54:25 ◼   ► you know I in my mind I can pull it off [TS]

00:54:27 ◼   ► I will already be so far past be able to [TS]

00:54:31 ◼   ► pull it off and i will just I'll just [TS]

00:54:33 ◼   ► look like such a dope and also keith [TS]

00:54:35 ◼   ► richards great eyebrows who and you know [TS]

00:54:38 ◼   ► and black hair like I don't have those [TS]

00:54:40 ◼   ► things [TS]

00:54:40 ◼   ► well let us talk about the elephant in [TS]

00:54:42 ◼   ► the room if you got these color to a [TS]

00:54:44 ◼   ► point where people could tell that you [TS]

00:54:45 ◼   ► have eyes do you think you do you see [TS]

00:54:47 ◼   ► yourself doing any shaping maybe of the [TS]

00:54:51 ◼   ► eyebrows oh yeah I mean I'm not saying [TS]

00:54:53 ◼   ► you go nuts and the same goal David [TS]

00:54:55 ◼   ► Ferrie but do you see yourself you know [TS]

00:54:56 ◼   ► doing some doing some manscaping of your [TS]

00:54:59 ◼   ► eyebrows you can get a great look you [TS]

00:55:01 ◼   ► get like Ashley Judd kind of a brown [TS]

00:55:03 ◼   ► like that changes everything [TS]

00:55:04 ◼   ► there's a lot there's a lot of people [TS]

00:55:05 ◼   ► out there who look completely different [TS]

00:55:07 ◼   ► after they did their eyebrows up well [TS]

00:55:09 ◼   ► let me tell you here's the thing about [TS]

00:55:10 ◼   ► that about my eyebrows it is not just [TS]

00:55:12 ◼   ► that they that I have these big blonde [TS]

00:55:16 ◼   ► eyebrows and you just can't see them [TS]

00:55:17 ◼   ► because they're blonde like I barely [TS]

00:55:20 ◼   ► have eyebrows is just hard to listen to [TS]

00:55:22 ◼   ► teach on the side of blonde hair up [TS]

00:55:24 ◼   ► there and the fields as i get older now [TS]

00:55:27 ◼   ► the hairs that are there are starting to [TS]

00:55:29 ◼   ► grow really long yako Brezhnev yeah i'm [TS]

00:55:33 ◼   ► already getting wizard eyebrows but they [TS]

00:55:35 ◼   ► are [TS]

00:55:35 ◼   ► but there's no there's not like there's [TS]

00:55:38 ◼   ► not really much there so it's like one [TS]

00:55:41 ◼   ► Brezhnev sticks out and then you know I [TS]

00:55:45 ◼   ► have the have the the rest of my [TS]

00:55:47 ◼   ► eyebrows like belong on an [TS]

00:55:48 ◼   ► eleven-year-old girl so i would have to [TS]

00:55:51 ◼   ► i would have to really just basically i [TS]

00:55:56 ◼   ► would have to fraudulently put eyebrows [TS]

00:56:00 ◼   ► on myself or go some goes away and maybe [TS]

00:56:03 ◼   ► have to have eyebrows surgically [TS]

00:56:05 ◼   ► implanted can you get can you go to a [TS]

00:56:08 ◼   ► like a hair club type so I get this [TS]

00:56:11 ◼   ► Broadway this is the beauty of such a [TS]

00:56:13 ◼   ► modest change is that there are so many [TS]

00:56:15 ◼   ► things you could go to a fucking [TS]

00:56:17 ◼   ► Halloween supply store to start you know [TS]

00:56:20 ◼   ► you can go up as high as you want i [TS]

00:56:21 ◼   ► would say don't go with things like the [TS]

00:56:23 ◼   ► tattooing in the permanent anything [TS]

00:56:24 ◼   ► because you never know you never know [TS]

00:56:26 ◼   ► what you eating everything fashions [TS]

00:56:27 ◼   ► change you know what I mean you might [TS]

00:56:29 ◼   ► decide that you you might finally have [TS]

00:56:31 ◼   ► freaked out someday I want to shave off [TS]

00:56:32 ◼   ► your eyebrows with no one would notice [TS]

00:56:35 ◼   ► John I don't think it's going to take [TS]

00:56:40 ◼   ► all that much for this to really make [TS]

00:56:42 ◼   ► your eyes pop you look good you should [TS]

00:56:44 ◼   ► do it well [TS]

00:56:45 ◼   ► ok so now now the question of course is [TS]

00:56:47 ◼   ► that mrs. ever since I discovered ebay a [TS]

00:56:51 ◼   ► week ago [TS]

00:56:52 ◼   ► yeah yeah i saw this you've been now [TS]

00:56:54 ◼   ► even bidding I've been on ebay and you [TS]

00:56:57 ◼   ► know and it's the wrong place for me to [TS]

00:56:58 ◼   ► be first of all and it is not it does [TS]

00:57:02 ◼   ► not bring out your better angels and [TS]

00:57:04 ◼   ► then the mi fear about this eyebrow [TS]

00:57:06 ◼   ► thing is that it is another example of a [TS]

00:57:09 ◼   ► kind of creeping materialism in my life [TS]

00:57:11 ◼   ► where if I'm really honest if I really [TS]

00:57:17 ◼   ► search my feelings i am trying to solve [TS]

00:57:20 ◼   ► a different problem than a lack of [TS]

00:57:23 ◼   ► eyebrows [TS]

00:57:24 ◼   ► I'm trying to put eyebrows on a [TS]

00:57:28 ◼   ► basketball you know what I mean I'm [TS]

00:57:31 ◼   ► trying to I'm drawing a face on a [TS]

00:57:34 ◼   ► volleyball and i am i'm investing my [TS]

00:57:38 ◼   ► friendship in it [TS]

00:57:40 ◼   ► except you're also the volleyball and [TS]

00:57:42 ◼   ► then one day what you are Wilson the the [TS]

00:57:45 ◼   ► one day the sea will take Wilson back [TS]

00:57:47 ◼   ► oh and then where will I be so I need to [TS]

00:57:52 ◼   ► I need to really ask myself do I meet so [TS]

00:57:54 ◼   ► the other day i was on i was on the [TS]

00:57:56 ◼   ► internet i was on ebay and i realized [TS]

00:57:58 ◼   ► that i did not even know that such a [TS]

00:58:01 ◼   ► thing as a tie case existed you know [TS]

00:58:05 ◼   ► that I cases now I know about tie racks [TS]

00:58:08 ◼   ► right what I case is a piece of luggage [TS]

00:58:11 ◼   ► a small piece of luggage that holds your [TS]

00:58:15 ◼   ► times are just be throwing written all [TS]

00:58:17 ◼   ► over it right it's a total Jesse thorn [TS]

00:58:20 ◼   ► thing and there and so all the fancy [TS]

00:58:23 ◼   ► people like hermes and a Christian I [TS]

00:58:30 ◼   ► think if you deliberately pronounced it [TS]

00:58:31 ◼   ► wrong and stays masculine and you know [TS]

00:58:35 ◼   ► and and whatever gucci these guys they [TS]

00:58:40 ◼   ► all make thai cases out of Corinthian [TS]

00:58:43 ◼   ► leather and then I should you not they [TS]

00:58:47 ◼   ► will sell them for three hundred dollars [TS]

00:58:49 ◼   ► or five hundred dollars or in the case [TS]

00:58:51 ◼   ► of louisvuitton probably $1,500 empty [TS]

00:58:55 ◼   ► not even a tie-in it doesn't include [TS]

00:58:58 ◼   ► another thing coming like a starter time [TS]

00:59:01 ◼   ► no its just oh it is just a piece of [TS]

00:59:03 ◼   ► luggage that is the size and shape of [TS]

00:59:06 ◼   ► half of a tie and you are meant to put [TS]

00:59:08 ◼   ► your tie in it and fold your tie a [TS]

00:59:10 ◼   ► couple of times and then put it in this [TS]

00:59:12 ◼   ► case in the case keeps it protected this [TS]

00:59:13 ◼   ► isn't a single ty i think you can put to [TS]

00:59:16 ◼   ► you 24 times it now that's funny and you [TS]

00:59:20 ◼   ► tuck it into your luggage is a total [TS]

00:59:22 ◼   ► Jesse third thing is he is attacking his [TS]

00:59:24 ◼   ► it you know his latest set of like [TS]

00:59:27 ◼   ► five-thousand-dollar luggage guys know [TS]

00:59:28 ◼   ► he's got his cravat brush holder and [TS]

00:59:30 ◼   ► guarantee you next to his cravat brush [TS]

00:59:33 ◼   ► holder case there is he has at least one [TS]

00:59:36 ◼   ► time case if not if not several anyway [TS]

00:59:39 ◼   ► so i'm looking online and I was like I [TS]

00:59:40 ◼   ► didn't even know that there was such a [TS]

00:59:42 ◼   ► thing as a tie case and now i want one [TS]

00:59:45 ◼   ► yeah now i want to take it all sex [TS]

00:59:47 ◼   ► politics and I'm on ebay [TS]

00:59:50 ◼   ► but I have this I still have this thrift [TS]

00:59:52 ◼   ► store mentality which is that the point [TS]

00:59:55 ◼   ► is not to get a thing at fair value the [TS]

00:59:58 ◼   ► point is to find a thing [TS]

00:59:58 ◼   ► point is to find a thing [TS]

01:00:00 ◼   ► that other people don't understand the [TS]

01:00:03 ◼   ► final thing that is ridiculously [TS]

01:00:04 ◼   ► underpriced because nobody notices it [TS]

01:00:07 ◼   ► like that's the thrift store game you go [TS]

01:00:10 ◼   ► in there and I mean I see things in [TS]

01:00:12 ◼   ► thrift stores all the time that are that [TS]

01:00:14 ◼   ► they know what it is they have priced it [TS]

01:00:15 ◼   ► reasonably and I am contemptuous of it [TS]

01:00:19 ◼   ► because reasonable price is not what I'm [TS]

01:00:24 ◼   ► one that's not why I'm here I'm here to [TS]

01:00:27 ◼   ► beat the game and find the diamonds in [TS]

01:00:31 ◼   ► the rough [TS]

01:00:32 ◼   ► so I'm on ebay and i'm looking at all [TS]

01:00:34 ◼   ► these Thai cases I'm like well there's a [TS]

01:00:36 ◼   ► thai case that's it that's a handsome [TS]

01:00:37 ◼   ► thing it's only nine dollars 999 i'm [TS]

01:00:42 ◼   ► gonna bid on it and I bet on it and then [TS]

01:00:44 ◼   ► two days later i come back and it's $75 [TS]

01:00:47 ◼   ► because it's a hermes and I say that is [TS]

01:00:52 ◼   ► ludicrous like that is ludicrous [TS]

01:00:55 ◼   ► it's a it's a ludicrous item to own let [TS]

01:00:59 ◼   ► alone to pay real money for let alone to [TS]

01:01:02 ◼   ► fight other anonymous people over so [TS]

01:01:06 ◼   ► then I'm like I'm searchin searchin I [TS]

01:01:07 ◼   ► find another tie case I'm like a lesson [TS]

01:01:09 ◼   ► that's it that's a nice-looking ty case [TS]

01:01:11 ◼   ► that's by a luggage company called [TS]

01:01:13 ◼   ► Gurkha and I bet on it 99 couple days [TS]

01:01:17 ◼   ► later i come back $55 and it sent three [TS]

01:01:21 ◼   ► days left to run and I'm and so I'm [TS]

01:01:25 ◼   ► getting emotionally worked up because [TS]

01:01:29 ◼   ► other people are stealing my tie cases [TS]

01:01:32 ◼   ► and I'm not really considering a I [TS]

01:01:36 ◼   ► didn't even know what a tight case was [TS]

01:01:38 ◼   ► ok i'll be i do not need a tie case I'm [TS]

01:01:41 ◼   ► 45 years old I've never needed one [TS]

01:01:43 ◼   ► before I don't need one now and see a [TS]

01:01:47 ◼   ► these two of these type cases are [TS]

01:01:50 ◼   ► precisely items of conspicuous the [TS]

01:01:55 ◼   ► ultimate the whole point is the chair [TS]

01:01:57 ◼   ► that you buy something expensive [TS]

01:01:58 ◼   ► yeah you could make a tie case if you [TS]

01:02:00 ◼   ► can make a holster out of cardboard and [TS]

01:02:03 ◼   ► and packing tape you can make a fuckin [TS]

01:02:05 ◼   ► ty case on her cards right about [TS]

01:02:07 ◼   ► functions event of Evelyn good you get [TS]

01:02:09 ◼   ► it just because it's fancy [TS]

01:02:11 ◼   ► I that was a Thorstein Veblen reference [TS]

01:02:14 ◼   ► and you know I don't usually stop [TS]

01:02:17 ◼   ► I don't usually stop the the car and get [TS]

01:02:19 ◼   ► out to give you and give you a round of [TS]

01:02:21 ◼   ► applause but that was very nice [TS]

01:02:23 ◼   ► that makes me happy uh so but in any [TS]

01:02:28 ◼   ► case i did find that I case and and i [TS]

01:02:30 ◼   ► realized i looked at i looked on there [TS]

01:02:33 ◼   ► and-and-and I realized it was a [TS]

01:02:35 ◼   ► Christian Dior and the owner didn't know [TS]

01:02:38 ◼   ► what it was a hole that's right in your [TS]

01:02:40 ◼   ► wheelhouse that nobody else bothered to [TS]

01:02:43 ◼   ► because it was like it didn't say to [TS]

01:02:45 ◼   ► your honor but there was a little emblem [TS]

01:02:46 ◼   ► that was like some early dior stamp and [TS]

01:02:50 ◼   ► I don't care about christian dior I [TS]

01:02:51 ◼   ► don't have a single item of that brand [TS]

01:02:55 ◼   ► it means nothing to me but the fact that [TS]

01:02:58 ◼   ► there was this thing which I did the [TS]

01:03:00 ◼   ► research to know was a thing that value [TS]

01:03:03 ◼   ► that the owner and the other customers [TS]

01:03:06 ◼   ► did not recognize was a thing I was very [TS]

01:03:08 ◼   ► excited and I bid on it and I want it [TS]

01:03:10 ◼   ► congratulations for five dollars [TS]

01:03:14 ◼   ► Wow get out walk away you're done with [TS]

01:03:17 ◼   ► vegas I've dollars and then six dollars [TS]

01:03:19 ◼   ► shipping so eleven dollars total I gotta [TS]

01:03:21 ◼   ► tie case a vintage Christian to your tie [TS]

01:03:24 ◼   ► case which the next time i see Jesse [TS]

01:03:27 ◼   ► thorne I'm going to waggle it in front [TS]

01:03:30 ◼   ► of his nose [TS]

01:03:31 ◼   ► i'm going to say i'm in a wagon so he [TS]

01:03:33 ◼   ► can smell the Corinthian in the leather [TS]

01:03:35 ◼   ► is a look at that [TS]

01:03:38 ◼   ► waggle waggle waggle waggle I'm not even [TS]

01:03:41 ◼   ► gonna put ties in it i'm just going to [TS]

01:03:43 ◼   ► carrier I'm gonna carry it around in the [TS]

01:03:45 ◼   ► hopes i'm gonna run into jesse thorn so [TS]

01:03:48 ◼   ► i can i can draw it under his nose and [TS]

01:03:50 ◼   ► be like five dollars will be like why do [TS]

01:03:53 ◼   ► you look different [TS]