Roderick on the Line

00:00:00 ◼   ► hello age on Merlin has gone good mmm [TS]

00:00:12 ◼   ► good here to be honest i have been [TS]

00:00:15 ◼   ► recording podcasts on a little bit [TS]

00:00:16 ◼   ► winded you are a podcast recorder [TS]

00:00:20 ◼   ► hmm uh-huh all happen i'll have it right [TS]

00:00:24 ◼   ► here it's just yeah yeah I hear I hear [TS]

00:00:27 ◼   ► from a lot of people about your podcasts [TS]

00:00:29 ◼   ► yeah I don't like using that word [TS]

00:00:30 ◼   ► podcast certainly out nobody found a [TS]

00:00:33 ◼   ► better one being outcasts [TS]

00:00:35 ◼   ► yeah it's hell is that tests on ugly it [TS]

00:00:38 ◼   ► sounds like poop [TS]

00:00:39 ◼   ► I tried to for awhile coin that you may [TS]

00:00:42 ◼   ► recall when we first started doing this [TS]

00:00:43 ◼   ► I tried to separate it and make it into [TS]

00:00:45 ◼   ► words podcast yeah and I got some angry [TS]

00:00:49 ◼   ► letters from Germany [TS]

00:00:50 ◼   ► oh yes is a term of art there [TS]

00:00:53 ◼   ► well I don't know what I don't know what [TS]

00:00:55 ◼   ► their problem was I never know what [TS]

00:00:56 ◼   ► they're for the Germans problem is but [TS]

00:00:58 ◼   ► that these guys were like no not nine [TS]

00:01:01 ◼   ► dick house that I guess I'm sorry I [TS]

00:01:06 ◼   ► didn't know what you know it just it I [TS]

00:01:07 ◼   ► think of it I think good maybe they [TS]

00:01:09 ◼   ► didn't like the affectation [TS]

00:01:11 ◼   ► I don't know what you know we kid we kid [TS]

00:01:13 ◼   ► about our listeners but i just want to [TS]

00:01:14 ◼   ► stipulate to the people of Germany there [TS]

00:01:18 ◼   ► are there's nobody who's more tolerant [TS]

00:01:19 ◼   ► of the craft of the choices that we give [TS]

00:01:21 ◼   ► them the government's that's true [TS]

00:01:23 ◼   ► therefore resilient John you know funny [TS]

00:01:25 ◼   ► the funny thing is did you know he [TS]

00:01:28 ◼   ► probably didn't know this but did you [TS]

00:01:29 ◼   ► know that Germans are far and away the [TS]

00:01:34 ◼   ► disproportionately largest group of [TS]

00:01:36 ◼   ► immigrants in America I would not have [TS]

00:01:40 ◼   ► guessed that but net that does make [TS]

00:01:41 ◼   ► sense yeah it's like a he take the take [TS]

00:01:45 ◼   ► the numbers of all the people that have [TS]

00:01:46 ◼   ► emigrated to the Americas over the years [TS]

00:01:48 ◼   ► are this America the North America and [TS]

00:01:51 ◼   ► and the Germans are like overwhelmingly [TS]

00:01:54 ◼   ► that the largest population and they [TS]

00:01:56 ◼   ► came over they just stayed quiet they [TS]

00:02:00 ◼   ► kept moving [TS]

00:02:01 ◼   ► they got out of the way mhm they got [TS]

00:02:03 ◼   ► some farmland out there in minnetonka [TS]

00:02:05 ◼   ► and they started making schnitzel and [TS]

00:02:09 ◼   ► and then they integrated into the local [TS]

00:02:13 ◼   ► population because they look just like [TS]

00:02:14 ◼   ► English English sure if you if pressed I [TS]

00:02:18 ◼   ► changed their name to Windsor when you [TS]

00:02:22 ◼   ► yo yo Han york i would have guessed if [TS]

00:02:28 ◼   ► pressed I would have guessed Irish whose [TS]

00:02:30 ◼   ► property it and availability heuristic [TS]

00:02:32 ◼   ► on my part but you know Irish used to be [TS]

00:02:34 ◼   ► very discriminating against you aware of [TS]

00:02:35 ◼   ► this [TS]

00:02:36 ◼   ► no no blacks dogs are Irish is that a [TS]

00:02:39 ◼   ► real sign that was a real son [TS]

00:02:41 ◼   ► no blacks dogs are Irishness service i [TS]

00:02:43 ◼   ► reassured that at the bottom of that [TS]

00:02:45 ◼   ► list actually I seem to remember I think [TS]

00:02:48 ◼   ► anyone had a charvel with a picture of a [TS]

00:02:50 ◼   ► leprechaun with a Buster on it never has [TS]

00:02:52 ◼   ► no fat chicks no fat chicks [TS]

00:02:55 ◼   ► how do you know used to be able to get [TS]

00:02:57 ◼   ► away with that but now that's very [TS]

00:02:58 ◼   ► unpopular cut all this out i I'm out my [TS]

00:03:03 ◼   ► last name is German I i come from start [TS]

00:03:05 ◼   ► to finish [TS]

00:03:05 ◼   ► mon from all the Germans stock also i'll [TS]

00:03:08 ◼   ► bet you you know the Germans come in [TS]

00:03:10 ◼   ► they work hard they don't they didn't [TS]

00:03:12 ◼   ► cause cause a lot of trouble and they [TS]

00:03:14 ◼   ► weren't controversial in the way I don't [TS]

00:03:16 ◼   ► know anything about history John but i [TS]

00:03:17 ◼   ► think they were controversial compared [TS]

00:03:19 ◼   ► to a lot of you say they blend in blend [TS]

00:03:21 ◼   ► to do that you know what I mean [TS]

00:03:23 ◼   ► well yeah they were you know the Germans [TS]

00:03:26 ◼   ► i think i think the Irish and the [TS]

00:03:28 ◼   ► Italians both immigrated to America [TS]

00:03:30 ◼   ► typically because their countries were [TS]

00:03:32 ◼   ► having food crises and they were kind of [TS]

00:03:36 ◼   ► coming over here because it was a last [TS]

00:03:37 ◼   ► ditch effort or like they put their they [TS]

00:03:41 ◼   ► went down to the docks and they put [TS]

00:03:42 ◼   ► their kids on the boat and they said [TS]

00:03:44 ◼   ► ciao go find go find food in America [TS]

00:03:47 ◼   ► little really really really excel [TS]

00:03:50 ◼   ► self-preservation [TS]

00:03:52 ◼   ► ya like like we are not making it here [TS]

00:03:54 ◼   ► there are too many of us in Italy and [TS]

00:03:55 ◼   ► and there's a potato famine here and we [TS]

00:03:58 ◼   ► are gone [TS]

00:03:59 ◼   ► whereas the Germans I think maybe moved [TS]

00:04:02 ◼   ► emigrated to america with a little bit [TS]

00:04:04 ◼   ► more resources and maybe were able to [TS]

00:04:07 ◼   ► like get on a wagon train and get out to [TS]

00:04:10 ◼   ► Minnesota and North Dakota and claim [TS]

00:04:12 ◼   ► their land and they knew how to use guns [TS]

00:04:15 ◼   ► so they could defend their land against [TS]

00:04:18 ◼   ► I don't get the Irish against he gets [TS]

00:04:20 ◼   ► the Irish were who are coming from [TS]

00:04:22 ◼   ► a little bit later get out of my [TS]

00:04:23 ◼   ► cabbages um but yeah it's it's a it's a [TS]

00:04:27 ◼   ► strange statistic and and you know like [TS]

00:04:30 ◼   ► the Germans are the silent majority i am [TS]

00:04:33 ◼   ► not really like that senior like that [TS]

00:04:35 ◼   ► Godfather Godfather movies the first [TS]

00:04:36 ◼   ► couple and others that great scene at [TS]

00:04:38 ◼   ► the beginning of godfather to when a [TS]

00:04:40 ◼   ► veto arrives at ellis island and there's [TS]

00:04:43 ◼   ► that long i have no way to know if this [TS]

00:04:45 ◼   ► is anywhere near real but i love that [TS]

00:04:47 ◼   ► long cannon-shot we're going across all [TS]

00:04:51 ◼   ► the people waiting to be processed you [TS]

00:04:52 ◼   ► know through Ellis Island I thought that [TS]

00:04:54 ◼   ► was just so wonderfully done it looks [TS]

00:04:55 ◼   ► like it really looks like it's from [TS]

00:04:57 ◼   ► whatever you know 1900 or whatever but [TS]

00:05:00 ◼   ► it also just gives you feel can imagine [TS]

00:05:02 ◼   ► how monkey balls it must have been in [TS]

00:05:03 ◼   ► manhattan at that time to be cheek to [TS]

00:05:06 ◼   ► jowl with all these different people [TS]

00:05:07 ◼   ► when really like a lot of folks from [TS]

00:05:09 ◼   ► Europe they're coming from a more [TS]

00:05:11 ◼   ► homogeneous background has been so [TS]

00:05:13 ◼   ► strange to be living like right next to [TS]

00:05:15 ◼   ► people from a different continent that [TS]

00:05:16 ◼   ► you could have to totally crazy [TS]

00:05:18 ◼   ► particularly given that the Irish and [TS]

00:05:22 ◼   ► Italians and a panel and frankly a lot [TS]

00:05:25 ◼   ► of the Germans and move a lot of the [TS]

00:05:27 ◼   ► people's all shared a religion i mean [TS]

00:05:28 ◼   ► they were all cat liquors never [TS]

00:05:34 ◼   ► pronounced like that [TS]

00:05:35 ◼   ► did you go in that John my father grew [TS]

00:05:39 ◼   ► up I up here are in seattle on capitol [TS]

00:05:41 ◼   ► hill and there were their work at [TS]

00:05:45 ◼   ► liquors who went to Catholic school and [TS]

00:05:48 ◼   ► there were public hers who went to [TS]

00:05:50 ◼   ► public school so you either link to [TS]

00:05:53 ◼   ► public white guy rhyming slang [TS]

00:05:56 ◼   ► yeah and then there were the Jews and [TS]

00:05:58 ◼   ► the Jews went you know the Jews kind of [TS]

00:06:00 ◼   ► were like in the middle and of course [TS]

00:06:02 ◼   ► the the the the Japanese bringing up the [TS]

00:06:06 ◼   ► rear or actually you know heading the [TS]

00:06:08 ◼   ► basketball team [TS]

00:06:09 ◼   ► so my dad seattle was was fairly [TS]

00:06:13 ◼   ► cosmopolitan but also you know that the [TS]

00:06:15 ◼   ► the main groups were Japanese Jewish [TS]

00:06:18 ◼   ► italian italian irish and then whatever [TS]

00:06:23 ◼   ► Episcopalian or whatever the rest of the [TS]

00:06:25 ◼   ► people were [TS]

00:06:26 ◼   ► interesting little world when I look at [TS]

00:06:28 ◼   ► my mom's high school yearbook [TS]

00:06:30 ◼   ► she graduated in nineteen fifty-four [TS]

00:06:32 ◼   ► first of all everybody looks 50 like 35 [TS]

00:06:36 ◼   ► to 50 years of age but its next stage [TS]

00:06:39 ◼   ► III there's a kid in my in my daughter's [TS]

00:06:42 ◼   ► preschool I won't name him because he's [TS]

00:06:45 ◼   ► too I bet in but he looks 50 and I'm and [TS]

00:06:51 ◼   ► you're one of these you're one of these [TS]

00:06:53 ◼   ► kids that I see in an old photographs of [TS]

00:06:55 ◼   ► the Bowery you're like a shoeshine boy [TS]

00:06:58 ◼   ► like looking up with a Donegal cap [TS]

00:07:01 ◼   ► yeah he's a he is he is just a couple of [TS]

00:07:04 ◼   ► like leather boots and and knee-high [TS]

00:07:07 ◼   ► pants away from being a street ruffian [TS]

00:07:10 ◼   ► in the foot down the five points huh [TS]

00:07:13 ◼   ► it is strange i always think I think of [TS]

00:07:15 ◼   ► a semi- here because it is it was an [TS]

00:07:18 ◼   ► interesting mix 44 1956 it was an [TS]

00:07:22 ◼   ► interesting mix of like there are a lot [TS]

00:07:23 ◼   ► of Jewish people a lot of the essay like [TS]

00:07:26 ◼   ► you know different kinds of it not so [TS]

00:07:27 ◼   ► many black people but but they were [TS]

00:07:29 ◼   ► there it was it was more integrated in [TS]

00:07:34 ◼   ► the aggregate that I would have expected [TS]

00:07:36 ◼   ► yeah i think that it's in seattle in [TS]

00:07:38 ◼   ► particular like the great migration of [TS]

00:07:42 ◼   ► african-americans came during the war [TS]

00:07:45 ◼   ► and before that there was a vibrant a [TS]

00:07:48 ◼   ► small but vibrant community the second [TS]

00:07:51 ◼   ► big arrival this couple 300 years [TS]

00:07:55 ◼   ► earlier he had some show up [TS]

00:07:56 ◼   ► but-but-but here and see I'm in the [TS]

00:07:58 ◼   ► North well I see you got to do I [TS]

00:08:00 ◼   ► manufacturing well yeah there they they [TS]

00:08:03 ◼   ► came from the south to work in the [TS]

00:08:05 ◼   ► Boeing your airplane factory before that [TS]

00:08:08 ◼   ► there was a there was a tight-knit and [TS]

00:08:11 ◼   ► and vibrant black community in seattle [TS]

00:08:14 ◼   ► and they were that they were such a [TS]

00:08:16 ◼   ► minority that there was there was not [TS]

00:08:20 ◼   ► really much racism against them the [TS]

00:08:24 ◼   ► threat to the threat the white people [TS]

00:08:26 ◼   ► perceived where the Chinese out here and [TS]

00:08:30 ◼   ► so because of their numbers [TS]

00:08:31 ◼   ► yeah right i mean the Chinese were [TS]

00:08:33 ◼   ► flooding the city and there were [TS]

00:08:35 ◼   ► anti-chinese riots here and there were [TS]

00:08:37 ◼   ► like the the Chinese were the terror [TS]

00:08:40 ◼   ► defying influx and the blacks had a had [TS]

00:08:42 ◼   ► a work were like a middle-class [TS]

00:08:45 ◼   ► community there was a prominent guy who [TS]

00:08:47 ◼   ► owned a waterfront hotel who built a [TS]

00:08:50 ◼   ► large house at the top of Capitol Hill [TS]

00:08:52 ◼   ► and his family all lived you know all [TS]

00:08:54 ◼   ► kind of came up to join them and they [TS]

00:08:56 ◼   ► but they kind of built in neighborhood [TS]

00:08:57 ◼   ► so before the war [TS]

00:09:00 ◼   ► from all accounts there was not a lot of [TS]

00:09:04 ◼   ► prejudice against blacks here it was all [TS]

00:09:07 ◼   ► directed it at the bronchi kind of asian [TS]

00:09:10 ◼   ► and then after the war course then it [TS]

00:09:14 ◼   ► was like all bets were off there were [TS]

00:09:16 ◼   ► there were still red line laws here in [TS]

00:09:18 ◼   ► Seattle meaning like black families [TS]

00:09:20 ◼   ► couldn't live north of a certain Street [TS]

00:09:23 ◼   ► all the way just like wouldn't get a [TS]

00:09:25 ◼   ► mortgage [TS]

00:09:26 ◼   ► oh yeah they wouldn't get a they would [TS]

00:09:28 ◼   ► not only were they not get a mortgage [TS]

00:09:29 ◼   ► they would like yeah you want you you [TS]

00:09:32 ◼   ► weren't they weren't really even [TS]

00:09:34 ◼   ► encouraged to walk around after dark [TS]

00:09:36 ◼   ► north of a surface street and that [TS]

00:09:38 ◼   ► persisted here until the early seventies [TS]

00:09:40 ◼   ► yeah my mom I don't know why I remember [TS]

00:09:43 ◼   ► this but from the time my mom was taking [TS]

00:09:45 ◼   ► real estate classes shitty the license [TS]

00:09:48 ◼   ► in ohio and then legislature in florida [TS]

00:09:49 ◼   ► in both cases she had to take classes in [TS]

00:09:52 ◼   ► and how they call it the time that [TS]

00:09:54 ◼   ► steering you have vertical red line to [TS]

00:09:57 ◼   ► back in the day when they really did [TS]

00:09:58 ◼   ► when banks you know that comes from [TS]

00:10:00 ◼   ► banks would actually take a map and with [TS]

00:10:02 ◼   ► a red whatever they use for markers [TS]

00:10:04 ◼   ► would draw red lines but if you're in [TS]

00:10:08 ◼   ► this area you can get a mortgage [TS]

00:10:09 ◼   ► thanks doc please hold up the map and [TS]

00:10:12 ◼   ► talk loud because they didn't understand [TS]

00:10:13 ◼   ► English the whole childhood shakemap [TS]

00:10:15 ◼   ► them with red lines on it i'm not just [TS]

00:10:17 ◼   ► being treated like that with my mom and [TS]

00:10:20 ◼   ► dad bought a house in 60 [TS]

00:10:23 ◼   ► let's say four in the name in within the [TS]

00:10:27 ◼   ► the redline neighborhood in a hidden in [TS]

00:10:29 ◼   ► a neighborhood that was that had already [TS]

00:10:32 ◼   ► that was that we had always directly [TS]

00:10:34 ◼   ► Chinese well no that was that way that [TS]

00:10:36 ◼   ► that they were deciding already was [TS]

00:10:39 ◼   ► going to be the ghetto and the banks and [TS]

00:10:42 ◼   ► you know my dad of course was my dad [TS]

00:10:45 ◼   ► knew knew his banker as as you did at [TS]

00:10:48 ◼   ► the time if you were if you were [TS]

00:10:50 ◼   ► prominent a white guy [TS]

00:10:53 ◼   ► and his banker was like Dave come on you [TS]

00:10:56 ◼   ► can't buy down in that neighborhood it's [TS]

00:10:57 ◼   ► you know like basically saying we are [TS]

00:11:01 ◼   ► conspiring to turn that neighborhood [TS]

00:11:04 ◼   ► into a shithole like what are you [TS]

00:11:05 ◼   ► thinking [TS]

00:11:06 ◼   ► have you been not coming to the meetings [TS]

00:11:07 ◼   ► and my dad that's possible but that was [TS]

00:11:11 ◼   ► like now now we're gonna that's the [TS]

00:11:13 ◼   ► house we want and the you know and had [TS]

00:11:16 ◼   ► to kind of twist his bankers arm to [TS]

00:11:20 ◼   ► protect to agree you know to get even [TS]

00:11:24 ◼   ► I'm gonna say this even my dad couldn't [TS]

00:11:27 ◼   ► easily get a mortgage in that [TS]

00:11:29 ◼   ► neighborhood because it was like a [TS]

00:11:31 ◼   ► citywide plan knows risk is like risky [TS]

00:11:34 ◼   ► let's turn this neighborhood into a a a [TS]

00:11:39 ◼   ► bog you know because government doesn't [TS]

00:11:43 ◼   ► work let's stop fixing up this neighbor [TS]

00:11:45 ◼   ► I think we can all agree on rightminding [TS]

00:11:48 ◼   ► together they called steering with [TS]

00:11:50 ◼   ► movement mom's time because it really [TS]

00:11:52 ◼   ► was i don't think it it could I could [TS]

00:11:54 ◼   ► almost repeat i think what they meant [TS]

00:11:56 ◼   ► was don't gently put your hand on the [TS]

00:11:59 ◼   ► black family shoulders and like move [TS]

00:12:01 ◼   ► them over to clifton you know what i [TS]

00:12:03 ◼   ► mean but I mean really like literally [TS]

00:12:05 ◼   ► steering wheel like to take you to where [TS]

00:12:06 ◼   ► houses would be it wasn't legal [TS]

00:12:09 ◼   ► I mean it was a legal thing that was [TS]

00:12:10 ◼   ► very much a cultural thing where if [TS]

00:12:12 ◼   ► somebody want to go to indian hill or [TS]

00:12:14 ◼   ► something [TS]

00:12:15 ◼   ► you got no no you don't wanna go over [TS]

00:12:17 ◼   ► there if you want to go over here that [TS]

00:12:19 ◼   ► you'll be more comfortable here [TS]

00:12:21 ◼   ► yeah it's like the scene animal house [TS]

00:12:22 ◼   ► like Achmed like you need a hug dish and [TS]

00:12:25 ◼   ► Mohammed and yeah yeah I'm very [TS]

00:12:30 ◼   ► surprised to learn from you in this [TS]

00:12:31 ◼   ► conversation that there were any classes [TS]

00:12:34 ◼   ► in Florida pretending to real estate [TS]

00:12:36 ◼   ► licensing i think it was mostly it was a [TS]

00:12:39 ◼   ► nominal sort of you know like realistic [TS]

00:12:41 ◼   ► thing it was like a game of lawn darts [TS]

00:12:44 ◼   ► right there they drew a circle and if [TS]

00:12:45 ◼   ► you could get a dart in the circle you [TS]

00:12:47 ◼   ► were you were [TS]

00:12:49 ◼   ► yeah these your lieutenant governor it [TS]

00:12:50 ◼   ► was education by charts look chocolates [TS]

00:12:55 ◼   ► well i have i have just recently found [TS]

00:13:01 ◼   ► in the greater seattle area [TS]

00:13:03 ◼   ► the bit in the Seattle bedroom community [TS]

00:13:07 ◼   ► of burien a place called hansa sausage & [TS]

00:13:10 ◼   ► delicatessen owned by hans and Mary on [TS]

00:13:14 ◼   ► stewin i'm holding their business card [TS]

00:13:18 ◼   ► and it is it is a german deli I went in [TS]

00:13:24 ◼   ► there the other day I was driving by and [TS]

00:13:26 ◼   ► I was like them that building looks like [TS]

00:13:28 ◼   ► a that the building is like a big Abel [TS]

00:13:31 ◼   ► vice you know it looked like a it looks [TS]

00:13:34 ◼   ► like the Eagles Nest but it was in [TS]

00:13:37 ◼   ► between two auto shops and I went in and [TS]

00:13:41 ◼   ► they're all these Germans in there and [TS]

00:13:42 ◼   ► they're all I you know talking their [TS]

00:13:45 ◼   ► German talk and I walked over to the [TS]

00:13:47 ◼   ► deli counter and there's 80 different [TS]

00:13:52 ◼   ► versts oh my god [TS]

00:13:54 ◼   ► and I said well what do you got going on [TS]

00:13:56 ◼   ► here what's so what's the what's the [TS]

00:13:58 ◼   ► story and the guy was like can be [TS]

00:14:00 ◼   ► tempted to put up to the list and I said [TS]

00:14:04 ◼   ► you know you gotta versed sampler it was [TS]

00:14:07 ◼   ► like you've won seven of us and i got [TS]

00:14:10 ◼   ► like two pounds of versed sampler where [TS]

00:14:14 ◼   ► he just went along and it didn't it [TS]

00:14:16 ◼   ► didn't make it there [TS]

00:14:16 ◼   ► oh yeah Wow and he went along we cut cut [TS]

00:14:20 ◼   ► you know three slices of every burst [TS]

00:14:24 ◼   ► they had he came to the he came to the [TS]

00:14:27 ◼   ► tongue versed and he held it up and he [TS]

00:14:31 ◼   ► was like you want the tongue [TS]

00:14:32 ◼   ► some people don't want the tunnel and I [TS]

00:14:36 ◼   ► stood there and I said I'm going to be [TS]

00:14:38 ◼   ► in the am going to be in the don't want [TS]

00:14:40 ◼   ► the tongue camp it was not it was like [TS]

00:14:43 ◼   ► em so i left the tongue out but every [TS]

00:14:48 ◼   ► other kind of worst and I've been [TS]

00:14:49 ◼   ► working through it here every day like [TS]

00:14:52 ◼   ► is it is all Marc see you know which is [TS]

00:14:54 ◼   ► which worst is worst know it was it [TS]

00:14:57 ◼   ► wasn't it's like guess guess the worst [TS]

00:15:00 ◼   ► is the game so i'll pull three slices [TS]

00:15:03 ◼   ► out and I'm like wow you know you smell [TS]

00:15:05 ◼   ► it it's like what is this this is crazy [TS]

00:15:07 ◼   ► so i highly recommend that you find the [TS]

00:15:10 ◼   ► german deli in your neighborhood [TS]

00:15:12 ◼   ► can go in and get the first sampler [TS]

00:15:15 ◼   ► because it is a it's truly a journey in [TS]

00:15:19 ◼   ► meet have you been happy with the but [TS]

00:15:21 ◼   ► there's also far i have been happy I [TS]

00:15:24 ◼   ► mean you know anytime I see a nice [TS]

00:15:26 ◼   ► anytime I see a mental loaf or abalone [TS]

00:15:30 ◼   ► abalone that has pistachios in it [TS]

00:15:34 ◼   ► I'm a little wary but this stuff is you [TS]

00:15:39 ◼   ► know that's all tall either made their [TS]

00:15:41 ◼   ► or he's got some connection back in [TS]

00:15:44 ◼   ► Heidelberg the first of all that sounds [TS]

00:15:47 ◼   ► fantastic but this is so awful the first [TS]

00:15:49 ◼   ► thing comes to my head is I can't [TS]

00:15:50 ◼   ► believe it hasn't been co-opted by [TS]

00:15:51 ◼   ► hipsters it seems like exactly the kind [TS]

00:15:54 ◼   ► of place where hipsters would sweep in [TS]

00:15:55 ◼   ► and ruin it [TS]

00:15:56 ◼   ► well this is what submit this is what [TS]

00:15:57 ◼   ► why it's in burien it's it's perfectly [TS]

00:16:01 ◼   ► outside of like the orbit of of hipsters [TS]

00:16:07 ◼   ► that they have that they haven't found [TS]

00:16:09 ◼   ► it you know what I mean and it's and [TS]

00:16:10 ◼   ► it's legitimately like you walk in there [TS]

00:16:12 ◼   ► there's a there's a shelf with 24 kinds [TS]

00:16:16 ◼   ► of mustard and I i asked the little [TS]

00:16:19 ◼   ► hausfrau to come over and talk to me [TS]

00:16:22 ◼   ► about the mustard and she walked over [TS]

00:16:23 ◼   ► and she was like you know she kinda [TS]

00:16:25 ◼   ► tapped on one that was mustered that had [TS]

00:16:29 ◼   ► been packaged in a little beer stein and [TS]

00:16:34 ◼   ► she's like that's the hot stuff and I [TS]

00:16:36 ◼   ► was like sold and then she you know hit [TS]

00:16:39 ◼   ► another one and she was like that [TS]

00:16:41 ◼   ► stuff's really good too and I grab that [TS]

00:16:43 ◼   ► was you know [TS]

00:16:44 ◼   ► loading up on Monster dwellings they're [TS]

00:16:46 ◼   ► pretty hot [TS]

00:16:49 ◼   ► alright I think it's fantastic I i love [TS]

00:16:53 ◼   ► i love finding stuff like that [TS]

00:16:54 ◼   ► here's the funny thing that when you're [TS]

00:16:55 ◼   ► talking about like tongue like you know [TS]

00:16:58 ◼   ► I might have gone for the tone because I [TS]

00:17:00 ◼   ► like was it the lingua or whatever the [TS]

00:17:02 ◼   ► college right now you're talking [TS]

00:17:05 ◼   ► that's good yes it's real good i but you [TS]

00:17:08 ◼   ► know when I see something like the [TS]

00:17:09 ◼   ► things a lot of stuff been like really [TS]

00:17:11 ◼   ► bastardized and dumb down instantly [TS]

00:17:13 ◼   ► think of stuff like Bologna [TS]

00:17:15 ◼   ► I mean it's still going to be you know [TS]

00:17:17 ◼   ► whatever snouts and and buts or whatever [TS]

00:17:19 ◼   ► right but you know you can get a pretty [TS]

00:17:21 ◼   ► good version that had I draw the line [TS]

00:17:23 ◼   ► headcheese yeah I can't even look at it [TS]

00:17:25 ◼   ► he's just looks like it's mocking it's [TS]

00:17:27 ◼   ► mocking you with how much weird shit [TS]

00:17:28 ◼   ► isn't it [TS]

00:17:29 ◼   ► if you if you order a hot dog you're [TS]

00:17:32 ◼   ► probably eating plenty of tongue but [TS]

00:17:35 ◼   ► this was this was rough chopped and [TS]

00:17:40 ◼   ► formed into a sausage that was six [TS]

00:17:45 ◼   ► inches across [TS]

00:17:47 ◼   ► so it looked like ground bark [TS]

00:17:51 ◼   ► I like if the second reason I think he [TS]

00:17:53 ◼   ► did the right thing yeah yeah I want me [TS]

00:17:55 ◼   ► I'm easing into it I mean I you know I [TS]

00:17:56 ◼   ► like a little bit of I I'm Polly [TS]

00:17:59 ◼   ► liverwurst all day but the but the like [TS]

00:18:01 ◼   ► the rough chopped [TS]

00:18:03 ◼   ► I mean rough chopped to the extent that [TS]

00:18:04 ◼   ► there were plenty of taste buds visible [TS]

00:18:09 ◼   ► haha in your in your to giant log of of [TS]

00:18:13 ◼   ► like tongues that have been that had [TS]

00:18:16 ◼   ► been cut out of these beasts [TS]

00:18:18 ◼   ► yeah and put put into what i can only [TS]

00:18:22 ◼   ► guess was like a lawnmower and then fed [TS]

00:18:26 ◼   ► into a sewer pipe and then served on a [TS]

00:18:30 ◼   ► manhole cover there might be some canary [TS]

00:18:35 ◼   ► traps in there you never know there [TS]

00:18:36 ◼   ► might be some joke foods in there that [TS]

00:18:37 ◼   ► then you can tell you know somebody's a [TS]

00:18:39 ◼   ► poser if they if they were the wrong [TS]

00:18:42 ◼   ► thing [TS]

00:18:42 ◼   ► yeah this seems seems like pro level [TS]

00:18:44 ◼   ► over but i'm gonna go i'm gonna keep [TS]

00:18:46 ◼   ► going back to this place i'm gonna go [TS]

00:18:47 ◼   ► back until until my whole house is [TS]

00:18:50 ◼   ► decorated in like Baron munchen flax [TS]

00:18:56 ◼   ► bigger in Munich ilu military time me [TS]

00:19:00 ◼   ► and old-timey shop we got the the [TS]

00:19:02 ◼   ► sausages hanging from the ceiling so [TS]

00:19:05 ◼   ► although that was the bet was the best [TS]

00:19:07 ◼   ► part is I'm walking out I turn around [TS]

00:19:09 ◼   ► and I go back to the butcher kind of got [TS]

00:19:11 ◼   ► this big bag of meat and mi and I look [TS]

00:19:14 ◼   ► at the guy and he was very friendly and [TS]

00:19:16 ◼   ► I said did I miss anything [TS]

00:19:18 ◼   ► what am i missing like giving him the [TS]

00:19:21 ◼   ► kind of squinty-eyed like you tell me [TS]

00:19:24 ◼   ► what I'm missing and he nods turns [TS]

00:19:29 ◼   ► around and goes and grabs a big string [TS]

00:19:31 ◼   ► of lon da ger off the wall which are [TS]

00:19:34 ◼   ► those little dried [TS]

00:19:37 ◼   ► I like turkey sausages and you know [TS]

00:19:42 ◼   ► there and the time together in a string [TS]

00:19:43 ◼   ► of sausages but you know they're like [TS]

00:19:45 ◼   ► they're like Germans I got pepperoni [TS]

00:19:47 ◼   ► kind of thing [TS]

00:19:48 ◼   ► yeah it's like it's like that you can [TS]

00:19:49 ◼   ► keep it at room temperature it's dried [TS]

00:19:51 ◼   ► and yeah you you pull it out of your [TS]

00:19:53 ◼   ► pocket and you you'd bite off a hunk and [TS]

00:19:56 ◼   ► and put it back in your pocket right in [TS]

00:19:58 ◼   ► your wheelhouse John i have all the [TS]

00:20:00 ◼   ► things I've seen these lon jaegers in my [TS]

00:20:03 ◼   ► travels in Germany like if you get out [TS]

00:20:05 ◼   ► into the country everybody's got one in [TS]

00:20:07 ◼   ► his shirt pocket [TS]

00:20:08 ◼   ► they're just they're just like they keep [TS]

00:20:10 ◼   ► them around because who doesn't want a [TS]

00:20:12 ◼   ► bite of delicious german pepperoni [TS]

00:20:15 ◼   ► throughout it looks it looks kind of [TS]

00:20:17 ◼   ► like a an upscale slim jim [TS]

00:20:19 ◼   ► exactly and so this any and i say am I [TS]

00:20:22 ◼   ► missing anything he turns around and is [TS]

00:20:24 ◼   ► like lon jager and he brings me like a [TS]

00:20:26 ◼   ► string of them and and I and I plot i [TS]

00:20:30 ◼   ► purchased like a a fairly long string [TS]

00:20:33 ◼   ► but when i got home and started like [TS]

00:20:35 ◼   ► just carrying one around and come [TS]

00:20:39 ◼   ► chewing on it i realized that i had [TS]

00:20:40 ◼   ► under ordered by a thousand percent next [TS]

00:20:43 ◼   ► time that I go I'm going to get many [TS]

00:20:45 ◼   ► that my whole out it's my Christmas tree [TS]

00:20:47 ◼   ► is going to be decorated with strings of [TS]

00:20:49 ◼   ► longer because it's the old so it's it's [TS]

00:20:52 ◼   ► it's totally it's the perfect it's the [TS]

00:20:53 ◼   ► perfect meet food [TS]

00:20:55 ◼   ► it looks like it's almost like you're [TS]

00:20:56 ◼   ► almost like smoking like you get like [TS]

00:20:58 ◼   ► get out like a like a three cigar holder [TS]

00:21:01 ◼   ► and like that it's the state's the size [TS]

00:21:03 ◼   ► and shape of a chair root em yeah my god [TS]

00:21:06 ◼   ► this is making me hungry looks really i [TS]

00:21:08 ◼   ► just had a speaking of the other end of [TS]

00:21:11 ◼   ► the spectrum i just had a I had a dirty [TS]

00:21:12 ◼   ► south doesn't hurry so I want to get a [TS]

00:21:15 ◼   ► dirty self talk about the dirty south [TS]

00:21:16 ◼   ► right [TS]

00:21:17 ◼   ► tell me again about the jury say it's a [TS]

00:21:18 ◼   ► hot dog with chili yeah and cole slaw [TS]

00:21:22 ◼   ► and BBQ sauce [TS]

00:21:24 ◼   ► whoa-hoo-hoo mr.right act week and I had [TS]

00:21:29 ◼   ► to kind of fast so yeah I know I know [TS]

00:21:31 ◼   ► there's no way that you don't want to [TS]

00:21:33 ◼   ► savor one of those you want to just want [TS]

00:21:35 ◼   ► to put it in yet [TS]

00:21:36 ◼   ► yeah everybody just kind of its real [TS]

00:21:38 ◼   ► wide because it kind of spreads out the [TS]

00:21:40 ◼   ► bun it's it's it's definitely like a [TS]

00:21:42 ◼   ► like I even the fork thing but not gonna [TS]

00:21:43 ◼   ► hate myself [TS]

00:21:44 ◼   ► what's up the bone through i have went [TS]

00:21:47 ◼   ► to a cocktail party last night for a it [TS]

00:21:49 ◼   ► was a [TS]

00:21:50 ◼   ► fundraiser because I as i described i'm [TS]

00:21:52 ◼   ► trying to get more and more involved in [TS]

00:21:53 ◼   ► local politics and the more involved I [TS]

00:21:56 ◼   ► get the more I realize even Seattle and [TS]

00:22:00 ◼   ► and washington state politics are [TS]

00:22:02 ◼   ► completely gnarly realm of like blood [TS]

00:22:09 ◼   ► oath and vendetta like half the people I [TS]

00:22:14 ◼   ► met this cocktail party last night were [TS]

00:22:16 ◼   ► in the olive oil business it's it is [TS]

00:22:20 ◼   ► it's just and and you make allegiances [TS]

00:22:22 ◼   ► and and alliances with people and then [TS]

00:22:26 ◼   ► later on you regret them hands down down [TS]

00:22:29 ◼   ► at the left end of the spectrum you [TS]

00:22:31 ◼   ► still get a lot of vile olive oil [TS]

00:22:33 ◼   ► industry that's the thing it's all it's [TS]

00:22:35 ◼   ► all left up here [TS]

00:22:36 ◼   ► I mean that it is certainly in the [TS]

00:22:38 ◼   ► circles I travel and it's just like [TS]

00:22:39 ◼   ► progressives against progressives but my [TS]

00:22:43 ◼   ► god they go for the jugular and so i'm [TS]

00:22:45 ◼   ► at anyway I'm at this party last night [TS]

00:22:47 ◼   ► and there's a there's like a buffet [TS]

00:22:50 ◼   ► I walked over and I can't eat any of the [TS]

00:22:53 ◼   ► the starchy stuff but there are these [TS]

00:22:57 ◼   ► like delicious look like cream cheese [TS]

00:22:59 ◼   ► filled green peppers and so I gobble a [TS]

00:23:05 ◼   ► handful of them and like two peppers and [TS]

00:23:09 ◼   ► I realize their cream cheese filled [TS]

00:23:11 ◼   ► jalapenos that have not been completely [TS]

00:23:16 ◼   ► divested of their jalapeno seeds and so [TS]

00:23:21 ◼   ► I i plow through a you know a baker's [TS]

00:23:25 ◼   ► dozen of these things before i realized [TS]

00:23:27 ◼   ► that they are that they are spice [TS]

00:23:29 ◼   ► grenades [TS]

00:23:30 ◼   ► I can't believe they're serving these at [TS]

00:23:33 ◼   ► an event full of normal people like I is [TS]

00:23:36 ◼   ► that kind of hot where you can take a [TS]

00:23:37 ◼   ► bite and go that's spicy but then it may [TS]

00:23:39 ◼   ► not really hit you for a little minute [TS]

00:23:41 ◼   ► anyway so talk about may not hit you for [TS]

00:23:45 ◼   ► a while [TS]

00:23:45 ◼   ► it's really hitting me today oh no you [TS]

00:23:48 ◼   ► need to go no no i I've mostly a mostly [TS]

00:23:52 ◼   ► covered all those bases but you know but [TS]

00:23:55 ◼   ► I'm sitting here I i'm sitting here like [TS]

00:23:58 ◼   ► a like I am sitting on a porcupine 000 [TS]

00:24:06 ◼   ► which is which is good it's so it's part [TS]

00:24:08 ◼   ► of part of growing old [TS]

00:24:10 ◼   ► that's very centering you know it's [TS]

00:24:12 ◼   ► really keeping me in the moment it's [TS]

00:24:14 ◼   ► keeping me focused on the now it's easy [TS]

00:24:16 ◼   ► to overlook when you're just merely [TS]

00:24:19 ◼   ► getting older it's easy to overlook how [TS]

00:24:22 ◼   ► quickly everything escalates [TS]

00:24:23 ◼   ► yeah that it isn't really just a thing [TS]

00:24:25 ◼   ► of like suddenly there's this thing [TS]

00:24:27 ◼   ► that's a little different it see you [TS]

00:24:29 ◼   ► don't even have time to keep up with how [TS]

00:24:31 ◼   ► many things are changing [TS]

00:24:32 ◼   ► yeah I can't see I can't eat I can't [TS]

00:24:35 ◼   ► drink coffee after nine in the morning I [TS]

00:24:37 ◼   ► can't climb stairs its I you know I feel [TS]

00:24:40 ◼   ► like I feel like walking out on an [TS]

00:24:41 ◼   ► iceberg for an ice floe and just like [TS]

00:24:44 ◼   ► setting sail but then I realized no I've [TS]

00:24:47 ◼   ► got 40 more years of this but this is [TS]

00:24:49 ◼   ► just if you're lucky you will have [TS]

00:24:52 ◼   ► another 40 years of decline the more you [TS]

00:24:54 ◼   ► know you might want to sit on the [TS]

00:24:55 ◼   ► iceberg for awhile today but I since i [TS]

00:24:59 ◼   ► have since i have stopped eating sugar [TS]

00:25:01 ◼   ► and pasta and rice i have experienced a [TS]

00:25:06 ◼   ► total transformation and I rim really [TS]

00:25:10 ◼   ► enjoying it I'm enjoying every aspect of [TS]

00:25:13 ◼   ► it but there's this nagging feeling that [TS]

00:25:17 ◼   ► I have become one of those middle-aged [TS]

00:25:19 ◼   ► men who is about to say I've never been [TS]

00:25:23 ◼   ► in such good shape in my life I've never [TS]

00:25:25 ◼   ► felt so young and you know like and I [TS]

00:25:29 ◼   ► don't I do not want to do not want to go [TS]

00:25:32 ◼   ► into my middle-aged with a kayak on my [TS]

00:25:34 ◼   ► roof rack you know what I mean I see you [TS]

00:25:37 ◼   ► in some patagonia zipped all the way up [TS]

00:25:39 ◼   ► is to this morning I woke up and I was [TS]

00:25:42 ◼   ► inspired to put on some wide wale [TS]

00:25:45 ◼   ► corduroys [TS]

00:25:48 ◼   ► that's okay that'sthat's within your [TS]

00:25:50 ◼   ► I'll yeah but I started Oriole [TS]

00:25:53 ◼   ► wheelhouse like I've been wearing I've [TS]

00:25:57 ◼   ► been wearing thin well chords for the [TS]

00:25:59 ◼   ► last 20 years and to transition to why [TS]

00:26:01 ◼   ► dwell chords it just feels like I I I [TS]

00:26:07 ◼   ► don't know I'm starting to feel like a [TS]

00:26:09 ◼   ► sitcom father I'm I'm starting to feel [TS]

00:26:13 ◼   ► like like I should be in a state like I [TS]

00:26:18 ◼   ► should be the father in a sitcom where I [TS]

00:26:20 ◼   ► a UFO alien is trying to pass as a [TS]

00:26:25 ◼   ► normal high school kid and he's living [TS]

00:26:28 ◼   ► with a he's living with the family and [TS]

00:26:30 ◼   ► he's he looks like he's a he's a [TS]

00:26:32 ◼   ► handsome kid he's got a good couple of [TS]

00:26:34 ◼   ► good catch phrases but he gets into a [TS]

00:26:36 ◼   ► lot of trouble because he's a UFO [TS]

00:26:38 ◼   ► so you're like your character actor from [TS]

00:26:40 ◼   ► some late seventies early eighties like [TS]

00:26:44 ◼   ► comedies and you've got your first or [TS]

00:26:46 ◼   ► second gig [TS]

00:26:47 ◼   ► unlike an ABC show yeah exactly this is [TS]

00:26:50 ◼   ► like this is like it's like 3rd rock or [TS]

00:26:54 ◼   ► uh what was or Al for what was the one [TS]

00:26:56 ◼   ► where that the Bigfoot lived with them [TS]

00:26:59 ◼   ► is a hearing the Andersons area in the [TS]

00:27:01 ◼   ► hundred well that was a movie right [TS]

00:27:03 ◼   ► yeah but i mean yet but you it would be [TS]

00:27:05 ◼   ► kind of john lithgow ask do you think [TS]

00:27:07 ◼   ► you know I think I am I have for 25 [TS]

00:27:13 ◼   ► years I've been kind of afraid of ending [TS]

00:27:16 ◼   ► up like john lithgow in the world [TS]

00:27:23 ◼   ► according to garp freely [TS]

00:27:25 ◼   ► yeah it is hmm scraping scraping feeling [TS]

00:27:32 ◼   ► hesitant to pull this thread is that the [TS]

00:27:34 ◼   ► more it becomes a lady i just i remember [TS]

00:27:38 ◼   ► watching that movie and feeling like of [TS]

00:27:40 ◼   ► all the of all the actors in this movie [TS]

00:27:43 ◼   ► the one that resembles me physically the [TS]

00:27:46 ◼   ► most is John with gal and I don't like I [TS]

00:27:51 ◼   ► don't like to I don't want to end up [TS]

00:27:53 ◼   ► being john lithgow i do not want to be [TS]

00:27:54 ◼   ► Michael Caine in hannah and her sisters [TS]

00:27:57 ◼   ► oh you're get you don't want to become [TS]

00:28:00 ◼   ► like the neutered old guy the older guy [TS]

00:28:04 ◼   ► with the weird haircut huh looks a [TS]

00:28:07 ◼   ► little bit like I like a lesbian [TS]

00:28:08 ◼   ► those glasses are too busy you know I [TS]

00:28:10 ◼   ► mean you lose that you lose any kind of [TS]

00:28:12 ◼   ► you know that looks certain guys get [TS]

00:28:14 ◼   ► their fifties when they start looking a [TS]

00:28:15 ◼   ► little bit shiny and kind of like a lady [TS]

00:28:17 ◼   ► I don't want to get you know I the last [TS]

00:28:19 ◼   ► time I saw the psychedelic firms ho ho [TS]

00:28:22 ◼   ► I was like he looks like someone's [TS]

00:28:24 ◼   ► grandmother she used to be so scary and [TS]

00:28:29 ◼   ► cool and now he really looks like a [TS]

00:28:31 ◼   ► grandma now I bet that's really not [TS]

00:28:34 ◼   ► Richard Butler I bet that's really not [TS]

00:28:37 ◼   ► what he was shooting for [TS]

00:28:38 ◼   ► no I don't think anybody don't think any [TS]

00:28:40 ◼   ► any straight man and probably not even [TS]

00:28:43 ◼   ► any gay men are trying to look like [TS]

00:28:45 ◼   ► grandmother's yeah um and so but but [TS]

00:28:50 ◼   ► also but I but I'm terrified that as I [TS]

00:28:53 ◼   ► try and take better care of myself like [TS]

00:28:56 ◼   ► already in the last several weeks then [TS]

00:28:58 ◼   ► the number of conversations I've had [TS]

00:29:00 ◼   ► about my food and my health have [TS]

00:29:02 ◼   ► skyrocketed it's fifty percent of what I [TS]

00:29:04 ◼   ► talk about two people now even as I [TS]

00:29:07 ◼   ► stand there saying I am I apologize that [TS]

00:29:11 ◼   ► i'm talking about my health and my food [TS]

00:29:13 ◼   ► right now and people like no no I'm very [TS]

00:29:15 ◼   ► interested I'm like you can't be [TS]

00:29:17 ◼   ► interested i have overheard a million of [TS]

00:29:20 ◼   ► these conversations I'm embarrassed for [TS]

00:29:21 ◼   ► myself but I really have nothing else to [TS]

00:29:23 ◼   ► say I have nothing I have no other [TS]

00:29:26 ◼   ► interests right now except in like my [TS]

00:29:29 ◼   ► food intake and my and the energy that [TS]

00:29:33 ◼   ► that it that my body is turning that [TS]

00:29:36 ◼   ► food into and I'm so embarrassed I'm [TS]

00:29:40 ◼   ► embarrassed for myself I used to talk [TS]

00:29:43 ◼   ► about so many things [TS]

00:29:45 ◼   ► the world domination striking fear into [TS]

00:29:47 ◼   ► the hearts of villagers and now i'm just [TS]

00:29:49 ◼   ► like quinoa quinoa this is your baby [TS]

00:29:55 ◼   ► you're having a latent period maybe [TS]

00:29:56 ◼   ► you're just taking a little bit of time [TS]

00:29:57 ◼   ► off from affairs of the day [TS]

00:30:00 ◼   ► yeah yeah okay yeah I great is it is [TS]

00:30:02 ◼   ► super boring to hear it I hear myself [TS]

00:30:04 ◼   ► talking about you know the other day I [TS]

00:30:05 ◼   ► realized you know is I was where the [TS]

00:30:07 ◼   ► same thing [TS]

00:30:08 ◼   ► and I want to pick up my daughter at [TS]

00:30:10 ◼   ► school and I kind of went through my [TS]

00:30:13 ◼   ► head that I probably should have worn [TS]

00:30:16 ◼   ► something else that i showed up at [TS]

00:30:19 ◼   ► school and I looked like I look so silly [TS]

00:30:23 ◼   ► i was bringing anything like a [TS]

00:30:25 ◼   ► five-year-old boy like a five-year-old [TS]

00:30:27 ◼   ► boy was 50 really give that a minute so [TS]

00:30:31 ◼   ► i think that's the Russell Simmons act [TS]

00:30:34 ◼   ► right addresses confessing later he'll [TS]

00:30:36 ◼   ► fit now that I had I i really need a [TS]

00:30:38 ◼   ► haircut [TS]

00:30:39 ◼   ► I hadn't shaved in a couple days since [TS]

00:30:42 ◼   ► then I clean some of this stuff up but I [TS]

00:30:43 ◼   ► i still need a haircut but I showed up [TS]

00:30:45 ◼   ► by my hair was too i think i'd take a [TS]

00:30:46 ◼   ► nap and I woke up and I had to scurry [TS]

00:30:49 ◼   ► and I pulled on a pair of 34 thirties [TS]

00:30:53 ◼   ► that haven't really had the full effect [TS]

00:30:56 ◼   ► they had blown out knees blowing out [TS]

00:30:58 ◼   ► right pocket to wear my plan underwear [TS]

00:31:00 ◼   ► was sticking out and for some reason I [TS]

00:31:02 ◼   ► guess I white my left hand right hand [TS]

00:31:04 ◼   ► I've read my right hand on my leg a lot [TS]

00:31:06 ◼   ► because that's what that's a pattern now [TS]

00:31:07 ◼   ► there's like a a roan kind of patch of [TS]

00:31:11 ◼   ► former hand dander on my pants and I [TS]

00:31:15 ◼   ► think I had the presence of mind I [TS]

00:31:16 ◼   ► didn't put on the purple high-top tennis [TS]

00:31:17 ◼   ► shoes i think i put on remember the dad [TS]

00:31:19 ◼   ► shoes I got remember those keen walking [TS]

00:31:21 ◼   ► shoes everybody made fun of my god i was [TS]

00:31:23 ◼   ► wearing the dad shoes with blown-out [TS]

00:31:25 ◼   ► blue jeans plaid underwear and what I'm [TS]

00:31:28 ◼   ► wearing right now [TS]

00:31:28 ◼   ► fantastic four short number one the old [TS]

00:31:30 ◼   ► one and I show up there with a backpack [TS]

00:31:32 ◼   ► and a rattle look at i got a handheld [TS]

00:31:39 ◼   ► video game and like what are you doing [TS]

00:31:43 ◼   ► here [TS]

00:31:43 ◼   ► you're almost 47 like that's like a no I [TS]

00:31:47 ◼   ► don't want to overthink this stuff and [TS]

00:31:48 ◼   ► so the next day want to pick her up [TS]

00:31:50 ◼   ► I wore khaki pants and I were khaki [TS]

00:31:54 ◼   ► pants and I War I think I war or that's [TS]

00:32:00 ◼   ► called the the desert cheese that you [TS]

00:32:02 ◼   ► are no chuckles yeah [TS]

00:32:04 ◼   ► clarks I with parents brothers dark dark [TS]

00:32:06 ◼   ► brown Clark's and as I yeah what do you [TS]

00:32:08 ◼   ► think huh [TS]

00:32:09 ◼   ► she's like yeah then look like you is [TS]

00:32:12 ◼   ► like a parents in court but well i'm [TS]

00:32:15 ◼   ► finding like I went to bumbershoot and I [TS]

00:32:17 ◼   ► was wearing my white linen [TS]

00:32:21 ◼   ► a like my coolest white linen pains to [TS]

00:32:25 ◼   ► this event because i was i was going to [TS]

00:32:28 ◼   ► be interviewed on stage a couple of [TS]

00:32:29 ◼   ► times and I you know and it was a hot [TS]

00:32:31 ◼   ► very hot day and I wanted to like [TS]

00:32:32 ◼   ► represent some white linen on the [TS]

00:32:36 ◼   ► fairgrounds because everybody in seattle [TS]

00:32:38 ◼   ► is going to be wearing the exact same [TS]

00:32:39 ◼   ► you know the exact same outfit of Levi's [TS]

00:32:42 ◼   ► 535 jeans or whatever the help and so [TS]

00:32:46 ◼   ► they take some pictures of me and they [TS]

00:32:48 ◼   ► posted on the brooklyn vegan website and [TS]

00:32:51 ◼   ► the first comment like Brooklyn Vegan [TS]

00:32:53 ◼   ► always treats me really well they're [TS]

00:32:55 ◼   ► great website of indie rock fans but [TS]

00:32:58 ◼   ► they have the shittiest New York Stock [TS]

00:33:00 ◼   ► new york-based commenters and the first [TS]

00:33:04 ◼   ► comment is nice dockers dude thanks for [TS]

00:33:09 ◼   ► taking the time and I'm like I'm like at [TS]

00:33:13 ◼   ► the time what about what I slid into [TS]

00:33:16 ◼   ► soccer [TS]

00:33:17 ◼   ► my takeaway was that it no longer [TS]

00:33:19 ◼   ► matters what I wear to a to a [TS]

00:33:23 ◼   ► twenty-six-year-old if they look like [TS]

00:33:25 ◼   ► dockers like a twenty-six-year-old from [TS]

00:33:28 ◼   ► now until eternity is going to be able [TS]

00:33:30 ◼   ► to slay me by just saying nice doctors [TS]

00:33:33 ◼   ► dude [TS]

00:33:34 ◼   ► yes you arguing back is going to be like [TS]

00:33:36 ◼   ► no that wasn't on NBC it was on the [TS]

00:33:38 ◼   ► Dumont Network distinction do because [TS]

00:33:41 ◼   ► there's no arguing there's no saying [TS]

00:33:43 ◼   ► like get a life like a fucking my pic [TS]

00:33:46 ◼   ► nice dockers dude is end is the end of [TS]

00:33:49 ◼   ► the story it was the first comment and [TS]

00:33:53 ◼   ► at and as much as as much as I want to [TS]

00:33:56 ◼   ► while that guy is sleeping like find out [TS]

00:33:58 ◼   ► where he lives [TS]

00:33:58 ◼   ► show up at his like miserable studio [TS]

00:34:01 ◼   ► apartment in Williamsburg with me [TS]

00:34:03 ◼   ► sharing with four people kick down the [TS]

00:34:06 ◼   ► door in the middle of the night [TS]

00:34:07 ◼   ► tell his three screaming roommates shut [TS]

00:34:10 ◼   ► up and sit in the corner while I [TS]

00:34:11 ◼   ► flamethrower him with a world war two [TS]

00:34:16 ◼   ► airplane door and as he's sitting [TS]

00:34:18 ◼   ► there's no screaming and burning just be [TS]

00:34:21 ◼   ► like nice doctors too [TS]

00:34:23 ◼   ► as much as I want to do that course like [TS]

00:34:25 ◼   ► that's that is all that is a waste of my [TS]

00:34:27 ◼   ► that is a waste of my resources and [TS]

00:34:29 ◼   ► Savior miles but but I'm you know I do [TS]

00:34:33 ◼   ► not want to do not want to go the rest [TS]

00:34:35 ◼   ► of my life and be wearing you know and [TS]

00:34:38 ◼   ► increasingly be trying to wear like [TS]

00:34:41 ◼   ► purple nylon parachute pants just to [TS]

00:34:45 ◼   ► avoid the nice doctors did comment and [TS]

00:34:48 ◼   ► then still be completely vulnerable to [TS]

00:34:49 ◼   ► it like I could be wearing I could be [TS]

00:34:51 ◼   ► wearing harlequin pans palio cheap ants [TS]

00:34:54 ◼   ► and some to know [TS]

00:34:57 ◼   ► twenty-seven-year-old be like nice [TS]

00:34:58 ◼   ► doctors dude and it's just the it's over [TS]

00:35:00 ◼   ► because that is the like that is [TS]

00:35:04 ◼   ► shorthand for you you are too old to be [TS]

00:35:07 ◼   ► here it is [TS]

00:35:09 ◼   ► you're too old to be on brooklyn vegan [TS]

00:35:10 ◼   ► we're both facing something that we only [TS]

00:35:14 ◼   ► ever saw before from a remove which is [TS]

00:35:16 ◼   ► when men and women reach an age where [TS]

00:35:19 ◼   ► they became what they become [TS]

00:35:20 ◼   ► non-combatants in the game of youth you [TS]

00:35:23 ◼   ► know and so I think I i think one reason [TS]

00:35:25 ◼   ► that middle-aged guys especially [TS]

00:35:27 ◼   ► libidinous middle-aged guys get so [TS]

00:35:29 ◼   ► fucking weird is it suddenly dawns on [TS]

00:35:33 ◼   ► them that young girls are not thinking [TS]

00:35:35 ◼   ► about them like not even like thinking [TS]

00:35:38 ◼   ► about not looking at anything and then [TS]

00:35:40 ◼   ► if they do it's it's not your believe me [TS]

00:35:43 ◼   ► they're not thinking about that they're [TS]

00:35:45 ◼   ► not they're not done you know and it [TS]

00:35:47 ◼   ► unless it is some kind of like like one [TS]

00:35:49 ◼   ► of those freaky gold digger type [TS]

00:35:50 ◼   ► situations where the creepy old guy and [TS]

00:35:52 ◼   ► a you know a gal who wants a place to [TS]

00:35:56 ◼   ► live or something like like cool girls [TS]

00:35:58 ◼   ► are not looking at us [TS]

00:36:00 ◼   ► it's and I think for a lot of guys that [TS]

00:36:01 ◼   ► is extremely hard to accept [TS]

00:36:05 ◼   ► yeah I don't think that's true with you [TS]

00:36:07 ◼   ► here but we really are where we have [TS]

00:36:09 ◼   ► fallen off the radar screen what worries [TS]

00:36:10 ◼   ► me talk about the purple Polly actually [TS]

00:36:12 ◼   ► a parachute pants I I'll I think about [TS]

00:36:16 ◼   ► when I was young and I would say we [TS]

00:36:18 ◼   ► could see some movies you go and watch [TS]

00:36:19 ◼   ► you know actors and especially actresses [TS]

00:36:22 ◼   ► who were once considered very beautiful [TS]

00:36:23 ◼   ► and maybe that was their primary thing [TS]

00:36:25 ◼   ► where they obviously lost track of what [TS]

00:36:27 ◼   ► they actually look like now [TS]

00:36:28 ◼   ► yeah yeah and they there's something [TS]

00:36:30 ◼   ► about you know your vision changes over [TS]

00:36:31 ◼   ► time you actually see things more sepia [TS]

00:36:33 ◼   ► as you get older because of the cataract [TS]

00:36:35 ◼   ► out what happen [TS]

00:36:36 ◼   ► your eyes you think see things more [TS]

00:36:37 ◼   ► brightly when you're young it's true and [TS]

00:36:39 ◼   ► and so that's their lipstick starts [TS]

00:36:41 ◼   ► looking more orange and everything's [TS]

00:36:43 ◼   ► class xi and they're there they got the [TS]

00:36:46 ◼   ► zany feet sticking out of their fancy [TS]

00:36:48 ◼   ► shows any fees when you don't talk about [TS]

00:36:50 ◼   ► that injection that good for you a for [TS]

00:36:52 ◼   ► effort but you know it's okay if you [TS]

00:36:54 ◼   ► wear something more age-appropriate and [TS]

00:36:56 ◼   ► that's why I started to think more about [TS]

00:36:57 ◼   ► age-appropriate not doing anything about [TS]

00:36:59 ◼   ► it but well that's that's that's what [TS]

00:37:01 ◼   ► that's what's going on with these wide [TS]

00:37:02 ◼   ► well corduroys see I refuse I refuse to [TS]

00:37:05 ◼   ► allow because there's a there's a [TS]

00:37:07 ◼   ► there's a strange component in women [TS]

00:37:11 ◼   ► yeah where I hear that yes there is and [TS]

00:37:16 ◼   ► uh and it is that a that older men are [TS]

00:37:21 ◼   ► inexplicably attracted to be attractive [TS]

00:37:23 ◼   ► to younger women because they have some [TS]

00:37:28 ◼   ► set of some sort of quality some [TS]

00:37:31 ◼   ► inevitable set of like father like a [TS]

00:37:35 ◼   ► talent that young women admire so I do [TS]

00:37:40 ◼   ► not allow that they are not continuing [TS]

00:37:44 ◼   ► to look at me but they're there but [TS]

00:37:47 ◼   ► they're looking at me [TS]

00:37:48 ◼   ► they're looking in a different way whoo [TS]

00:37:50 ◼   ► & and honestly when I was 24 [TS]

00:37:53 ◼   ► they looked at me only with contempt and [TS]

00:37:55 ◼   ► derision so that in some ways this is my [TS]

00:37:58 ◼   ► it's always been a complicated matter [TS]

00:38:00 ◼   ► for you [TS]

00:38:00 ◼   ► yeah now I'm finally I am finally [TS]

00:38:02 ◼   ► blooming into the sort of pedagogical [TS]

00:38:06 ◼   ► sex father role that I have that a train [TS]

00:38:13 ◼   ► the whole life for this is my early [TS]

00:38:15 ◼   ► twenties you know they were just they [TS]

00:38:16 ◼   ► were like they did say I was I was [TS]

00:38:19 ◼   ► forever alone and but but my own vanity [TS]

00:38:26 ◼   ► is so much I mean it was always [TS]

00:38:31 ◼   ► complicated but it's it's so much more [TS]

00:38:33 ◼   ► complicated now that i am that I'm [TS]

00:38:37 ◼   ► conscious of this is the thing out there [TS]

00:38:39 ◼   ► i think there are a lot of older guys [TS]

00:38:40 ◼   ► are like well you know uh I am sexually [TS]

00:38:44 ◼   ► attractive to younger women and i'm [TS]

00:38:48 ◼   ► going to exploit that [TS]

00:38:49 ◼   ► fact and be be creepier be but not [TS]

00:38:56 ◼   ► creepy but the be predatory and I still [TS]

00:39:02 ◼   ► want you know this is the amazing thing [TS]

00:39:04 ◼   ► about getting older you do not feel you [TS]

00:39:07 ◼   ► still feel you still feel young and I [TS]

00:39:09 ◼   ► mean I remember my dad said actually [TS]

00:39:11 ◼   ► entitled to be young [TS]

00:39:12 ◼   ► yeah well my dad was 87 he was like two [TS]

00:39:14 ◼   ► terrible thing about it is that you can [TS]

00:39:17 ◼   ► old and you still feel young and I was [TS]

00:39:20 ◼   ► like oh that's really pathetic be old [TS]

00:39:27 ◼   ► and he was like fuck you [TS]

00:39:31 ◼   ► but now I'm time now I'm standing in the [TS]

00:39:35 ◼   ► one in the doorway of it and I'm like oh [TS]

00:39:38 ◼   ► right like i do not want to be predatory [TS]

00:39:42 ◼   ► I want to be appreciated and I want to [TS]

00:39:45 ◼   ► also be age-appropriate and and I want [TS]

00:39:50 ◼   ► those if i'm going to have if i'm going [TS]

00:39:53 ◼   ► to have pedagogical relationships i want [TS]

00:39:56 ◼   ► them to be appropriate I want them to be [TS]

00:39:59 ◼   ► I want everybody to agree like yes I am [TS]

00:40:03 ◼   ► sexually appealing i am a middle-aged [TS]

00:40:07 ◼   ► man who knows some things a lot and John [TS]

00:40:10 ◼   ► I don't know why but a lot of women are [TS]

00:40:11 ◼   ► attracted to you [TS]

00:40:12 ◼   ► it's very it's very strange i've seen it [TS]

00:40:15 ◼   ► since want to talk about it it's [TS]

00:40:17 ◼   ► fantastic some people like others [TS]

00:40:19 ◼   ► there's one lady fallen tumblr who likes [TS]

00:40:20 ◼   ► your beard LLC is a beard [TS]

00:40:23 ◼   ► it's so soft and the and the thing was [TS]

00:40:25 ◼   ► that you know i have described myself as [TS]

00:40:27 ◼   ► a young person being more or less like [TS]

00:40:30 ◼   ► an uncooked scallop that was left in the [TS]

00:40:32 ◼   ► Sun um and uh those were hard times [TS]

00:40:38 ◼   ► those were does reduce paying times [TS]

00:40:41 ◼   ► because inside I knew that I was I that [TS]

00:40:44 ◼   ► I was I was a swashbuckler and that all [TS]

00:40:47 ◼   ► of these likes young dark intense guys [TS]

00:40:51 ◼   ► were you know we're just empty shells or [TS]

00:40:56 ◼   ► whatever they were you know they were [TS]

00:40:57 ◼   ► peanuts in the mix nut can of life and I [TS]

00:41:01 ◼   ► was a [TS]

00:41:02 ◼   ► filbert or better but i but i but but [TS]

00:41:07 ◼   ► now I'm you know I'm confronting it all [TS]

00:41:10 ◼   ► because so the picture is socially there [TS]

00:41:12 ◼   ► are all these kind of a middle-aged guy [TS]

00:41:16 ◼   ► who is who is appealing to younger women [TS]

00:41:18 ◼   ► is also appealing to older women and [TS]

00:41:22 ◼   ► everybody's mad [TS]

00:41:24 ◼   ► everybody's mad at me already for other [TS]

00:41:27 ◼   ► reasons but then that you add this [TS]

00:41:30 ◼   ► component in and everybody gets extra [TS]

00:41:31 ◼   ► mad like other guys are mad [TS]

00:41:34 ◼   ► everybody's mad all the time because of [TS]

00:41:37 ◼   ► your pedagogy but yeah because it to go [TS]

00:41:41 ◼   ► G that you exuded because the silver fox [TS]

00:41:43 ◼   ► is a is a caricature and a lot of a lot [TS]

00:41:48 ◼   ► of guys that that grow into their looks [TS]

00:41:51 ◼   ► and grow into their their appeal are uh [TS]

00:41:55 ◼   ► are not very interesting ultimately or [TS]

00:41:59 ◼   ► you know what I mean like they are [TS]

00:42:00 ◼   ► they're kind of their it's it is an [TS]

00:42:03 ◼   ► exploitative think it I think a lot [TS]

00:42:06 ◼   ► skies III don't know I can follow this [TS]

00:42:08 ◼   ► and I think a lot of guys just get a [TS]

00:42:09 ◼   ► different kind of stick and you know [TS]

00:42:11 ◼   ► maybe become like that's it just almost [TS]

00:42:13 ◼   ► everything that deviates from the norm [TS]

00:42:15 ◼   ► starts to reduce creepy when L like you [TS]

00:42:18 ◼   ► know some rings you know tomorrow o [TS]

00:42:21 ◼   ► people to that why did you even say that [TS]

00:42:24 ◼   ► I know I know I know I'm are now i'm [TS]

00:42:27 ◼   ► sitting on a porcupine again but for [TS]

00:42:28 ◼   ► different bringing up with that too but [TS]

00:42:30 ◼   ► you know but this is the thing this is [TS]

00:42:31 ◼   ► my challenge like I want to enjoy being [TS]

00:42:34 ◼   ► appreciated let's say that and I thought [TS]

00:42:36 ◼   ► and I and I don't want to enjoy being [TS]

00:42:39 ◼   ► appreciated I want to enjoy being [TS]

00:42:40 ◼   ► appreciated and I don't want for [TS]

00:42:42 ◼   ► everyone it's just like nature right on [TS]

00:42:43 ◼   ► there [TS]

00:42:44 ◼   ► yeah I don't want I don't want to say [TS]

00:42:45 ◼   ► like because because i spent a lot of [TS]

00:42:47 ◼   ► time saying oh miss I I don't think you [TS]

00:42:52 ◼   ► I don't think you're really in love with [TS]

00:42:53 ◼   ► me I think that you have unresolved you [TS]

00:42:57 ◼   ► know and she's like uh huh and what [TS]

00:42:58 ◼   ► walks across the room and goes home with [TS]

00:43:01 ◼   ► the guide with a motorcycle while I'm [TS]

00:43:04 ◼   ► sitting there trying to explain to her [TS]

00:43:05 ◼   ► like what her what her real one a real [TS]

00:43:08 ◼   ► problem is and now I'm like okay yeah [TS]

00:43:11 ◼   ► sure I I accept accept your [TS]

00:43:14 ◼   ► except your gaze that's that's really [TS]

00:43:17 ◼   ► good of you you've really gotten yes got [TS]

00:43:20 ◼   ► any more than that but then I look [TS]

00:43:21 ◼   ► across the room and there's like a 37 [TS]

00:43:23 ◼   ► year old woman staring at me with a kind [TS]

00:43:24 ◼   ► of like uh huh uh huh you got your nice [TS]

00:43:28 ◼   ► yeah exactly and I'm like what what I'm [TS]

00:43:30 ◼   ► just I'm just talking to my friend [TS]

00:43:33 ◼   ► mhm she's like hmm and then you know and [TS]

00:43:37 ◼   ► then the other guys are giving me the [TS]

00:43:38 ◼   ► same and it's just like I listen I'm I [TS]

00:43:41 ◼   ► this these silver fox a metals artwork [TS]

00:43:46 ◼   ► hard 1i eye-catching you know I had no [TS]

00:43:49 ◼   ► idea that you were dealing with this [TS]

00:43:50 ◼   ► much [TS]

00:43:51 ◼   ► yeah it's a lot of I've even a real [TS]

00:43:53 ◼   ► gentleman about not bringing it up this [TS]

00:43:54 ◼   ► you got carry this around with you all [TS]

00:43:56 ◼   ► the time you go to the store you go to [TS]

00:43:58 ◼   ► the sausage factory [TS]

00:43:59 ◼   ► wherever you go you're encountering [TS]

00:44:01 ◼   ► people who are seeing the pedagogical [TS]

00:44:03 ◼   ► silver fox [TS]

00:44:05 ◼   ► yeah but you want to be able to enjoy [TS]

00:44:06 ◼   ► them enjoying it well and this is the [TS]

00:44:08 ◼   ► thing a lot of people want to learn [TS]

00:44:10 ◼   ► right and i want to teach and it's like [TS]

00:44:17 ◼   ► it's like I'm a it's like them a free [TS]

00:44:21 ◼   ► radical and I'm going around and I'm but [TS]

00:44:24 ◼   ► I'm connecting with people some neurons [TS]

00:44:30 ◼   ► and that it there's an open space and [TS]

00:44:35 ◼   ► and I'm you know I'm clicking and [TS]

00:44:39 ◼   ► clicking in i'm just imagining [TS]

00:44:40 ◼   ► explaining to someone in a very loud bar [TS]

00:44:42 ◼   ► if you're free why free radical radical [TS]

00:44:48 ◼   ► she teach seminars up they got how many [TS]

00:44:52 ◼   ► guys a little bit of money could learn [TS]

00:44:54 ◼   ► from you [TS]

00:44:54 ◼   ► I know jumping your white coming oh but [TS]

00:44:57 ◼   ► this is a but I don't feel like it is [TS]

00:44:59 ◼   ► transferable knowledge like I feel like [TS]

00:45:02 ◼   ► some of this sky it's gotta be you gotta [TS]

00:45:04 ◼   ► put the hours in right we got to put the [TS]

00:45:07 ◼   ► hours in and you also have to have that [TS]

00:45:08 ◼   ► that ineffable like like a some people [TS]

00:45:12 ◼   ► grow out of out of there looks like you [TS]

00:45:14 ◼   ► were describing people who are famous [TS]

00:45:16 ◼   ► for being beautiful when they're young [TS]

00:45:18 ◼   ► and they forget what they look like and [TS]

00:45:20 ◼   ► they turn into these like handbags as [TS]

00:45:23 ◼   ► they get older they turn into laundry [TS]

00:45:26 ◼   ► acres [TS]

00:45:26 ◼   ► and then there are people like me who [TS]

00:45:30 ◼   ► grow into their looks as they get older [TS]

00:45:31 ◼   ► and go from looking like an uncooked [TS]

00:45:35 ◼   ► scallop to looking like a and like a [TS]

00:45:38 ◼   ► mighty fur step step on the top of a are [TS]

00:45:45 ◼   ► you as you see here today because you've [TS]

00:45:47 ◼   ► been aware how much thought you put into [TS]

00:45:48 ◼   ► this i'm mostly putting the thought into [TS]

00:45:52 ◼   ► it right now let's coming out great up [TS]

00:45:56 ◼   ► don't want to lucky you want to grow [TS]

00:45:58 ◼   ► into your into your sausage and out of [TS]

00:46:00 ◼   ► your schedule [TS]

00:46:00 ◼   ► that's right yeah here he crawl out of [TS]

00:46:03 ◼   ► your out of your scalp and you become [TS]

00:46:05 ◼   ► interesting you know and and to whatever [TS]

00:46:09 ◼   ► degree and this is the problem with the [TS]

00:46:11 ◼   ► this is but this is one of the [TS]

00:46:13 ◼   ► stereotypical gender problems which is [TS]

00:46:16 ◼   ► that older fascinating women who have [TS]

00:46:19 ◼   ► grown into their looks are not it like [TS]

00:46:24 ◼   ► widely attractive to young callow men [TS]

00:46:28 ◼   ► but there is a there is a certain [TS]

00:46:31 ◼   ► component or certain kind of aspect to [TS]

00:46:35 ◼   ► sex roles where like fascinating older [TS]

00:46:39 ◼   ► men are attractive to young women [TS]

00:46:43 ◼   ► because women young women are kind of [TS]

00:46:44 ◼   ► more interesting the you will in this [TS]

00:46:48 ◼   ► world who wants to learn more than young [TS]

00:46:50 ◼   ► women who has a war to teach the old men [TS]

00:46:53 ◼   ► it's true you see that young receptacles [TS]

00:46:57 ◼   ► just waiting to be filled with internet [TS]

00:46:59 ◼   ► information it's terrible but i am in it [TS]

00:47:02 ◼   ► you know like this is the subject of so [TS]

00:47:04 ◼   ► many angry editorials in ms magazine [TS]

00:47:10 ◼   ► it's the subject of a lot of late 20th [TS]

00:47:13 ◼   ► century novels it is i mean it's a trope [TS]

00:47:17 ◼   ► it is a it is a it's something that [TS]

00:47:19 ◼   ► people are mad at films about why it is [TS]

00:47:22 ◼   ► what george clooney is 69 years old why [TS]

00:47:25 ◼   ► is leading lady always 26 that can be [TS]

00:47:28 ◼   ► real creepy it's tara parents Harris's [TS]

00:47:31 ◼   ► forward and honoree is 90 [TS]

00:47:34 ◼   ► yeah and and they pairing with the with [TS]

00:47:37 ◼   ► whatever that Welsh lady who's living [TS]

00:47:39 ◼   ► with [TS]

00:47:40 ◼   ► what's his name Michael Douglas thank [TS]

00:47:44 ◼   ► you [TS]

00:47:44 ◼   ► yeah but I mean that's a that's their [TS]

00:47:46 ◼   ► actual relationship i mean there they [TS]

00:47:48 ◼   ► are in a relationship together and [TS]

00:47:50 ◼   ► there's a page but you might see more of [TS]

00:47:52 ◼   ► those than I do [TS]

00:47:54 ◼   ► I don't know I I mean more of the angry [TS]

00:47:57 ◼   ► editorials are more of the film's yeah i [TS]

00:47:59 ◼   ► guess for the relationships just want to [TS]

00:48:02 ◼   ► avoid the whole thing to see this is why [TS]

00:48:05 ◼   ► we haven't talked about it because i [TS]

00:48:06 ◼   ► know that it makes you no no it's I'm [TS]

00:48:08 ◼   ► learning a lot [TS]

00:48:09 ◼   ► I don't I hadn't thought of myself as a [TS]

00:48:11 ◼   ► silver fox [TS]

00:48:12 ◼   ► yes um well because you are happily [TS]

00:48:15 ◼   ► married and so when you get be approving [TS]

00:48:18 ◼   ► looks I'm sure you deflect them or you [TS]

00:48:22 ◼   ► unconsciously it's like five things [TS]

00:48:24 ◼   ► wrong with that I don't get those really [TS]

00:48:27 ◼   ► hey I know I think I'm much more [TS]

00:48:28 ◼   ► attractive to men in their late twenties [TS]

00:48:31 ◼   ► oh right ok no no not that way [TS]

00:48:34 ◼   ► no I know what you mean though I know [TS]

00:48:36 ◼   ► what you mean I practically my comic the [TS]

00:48:38 ◼   ► Marilyn Monroe nerds in some ways yeah [TS]

00:48:40 ◼   ► they they all [TS]

00:48:41 ◼   ► yeah this is fine i mean that's that's [TS]

00:48:43 ◼   ► great that's really that's that that's [TS]

00:48:44 ◼   ► awesome i mean boy am I couldn't ask for [TS]

00:48:46 ◼   ► more [TS]

00:48:47 ◼   ► I yeah I just can't take that much [TS]

00:48:50 ◼   ► libido my life I i I'm so grateful [TS]

00:48:53 ◼   ► yeah its opinion I don't know how you do [TS]

00:48:55 ◼   ► it it's just always there right it's [TS]

00:48:57 ◼   ► always it's something we're like one of [TS]

00:48:59 ◼   ► the bathroom like you're always gonna [TS]

00:48:59 ◼   ► have to go again and the of the libido [TS]

00:49:02 ◼   ► just builds right back up i like it like [TS]

00:49:03 ◼   ► a great royal insist [TS]

00:49:05 ◼   ► yeah well part of it is that I you know [TS]

00:49:10 ◼   ► I I walk around like mid-period John [TS]

00:49:14 ◼   ► Wayne you know I kind of like heck hold [TS]

00:49:16 ◼   ► my arms out a little bit in in case you [TS]

00:49:19 ◼   ► run into a wall case i need to draw my [TS]

00:49:22 ◼   ► my oh it's like fire like Justin Worley [TS]

00:49:26 ◼   ► he's really really drunk and if the [TS]

00:49:27 ◼   ► American there's a little bit of that [TS]

00:49:29 ◼   ► laughs at this talk to a party last [TS]

00:49:31 ◼   ► night I i went all the way to the end [TS]

00:49:33 ◼   ► and I'm with it [TS]

00:49:35 ◼   ► I'm with this crowd of like you know [TS]

00:49:38 ◼   ► like local liberal activist engaged rich [TS]

00:49:43 ◼   ► mafioso mafiosi [TS]

00:49:49 ◼   ► and everybody's shit faced and they're [TS]

00:49:54 ◼   ► not just shitfaced on liquor they're [TS]

00:49:56 ◼   ► like shit faced on pills and liquor and [TS]

00:50:01 ◼   ► we're sitting around it's like it [TS]

00:50:02 ◼   ► chaplaincy the netbook it's fucking [TS]

00:50:04 ◼   ► terrible [TS]

00:50:05 ◼   ► we're sitting around a table in there [TS]

00:50:07 ◼   ► and it's and it's all really really [TS]

00:50:08 ◼   ► expensive liquor to all these these [TS]

00:50:10 ◼   ► bottles that have like handmade labels [TS]

00:50:14 ◼   ► it's like oh this is one of one of a [TS]

00:50:18 ◼   ► hundred bottles of this this cask and [TS]

00:50:23 ◼   ► what it's going to say was a fundraiser [TS]

00:50:25 ◼   ► this is like a strategic meeting was [TS]

00:50:27 ◼   ► more like having fun hanging out and [TS]

00:50:29 ◼   ► make a little money for the cause [TS]

00:50:30 ◼   ► well it's a fundraiser but it's very [TS]

00:50:31 ◼   ► early in the game and so it was a [TS]

00:50:34 ◼   ► strategic meeting at this the the the [TS]

00:50:37 ◼   ► candidate who was at this party went [TS]

00:50:39 ◼   ► around and pointed out all the other [TS]

00:50:42 ◼   ► elected officials that were in the room [TS]

00:50:45 ◼   ► and it was probably seventy seventy [TS]

00:50:51 ◼   ► percent of the 70 people there were [TS]

00:50:55 ◼   ► elected officials in Washington state [TS]

00:50:58 ◼   ► including like high like high [TS]

00:51:01 ◼   ► mucky-mucks like prosecutors and big big [TS]

00:51:05 ◼   ► wheels and then there were you know 20 [TS]

00:51:08 ◼   ► of us who were local the people local [TS]

00:51:16 ◼   ► local normals are local tattoo taste and [TS]

00:51:21 ◼   ► and money developer people and so the [TS]

00:51:26 ◼   ► candidates all bail or the you know the [TS]

00:51:29 ◼   ► politicians have to get out of there [TS]

00:51:31 ◼   ► they made their appearance and then the [TS]

00:51:34 ◼   ► rest of us are sitting around and it's [TS]

00:51:35 ◼   ► like oh you're the guy that runs that [TS]

00:51:37 ◼   ► oh you're the guy that runs that we're [TS]

00:51:39 ◼   ► sitting around and everybody's fucked up [TS]

00:51:40 ◼   ► and be a little by little they they peel [TS]

00:51:43 ◼   ► off until there's just this this group [TS]

00:51:45 ◼   ► around the table and it is at this point [TS]

00:51:47 ◼   ► like a planning session except everybody [TS]

00:51:51 ◼   ► so i can loaded and I'm sitting there at [TS]

00:51:54 ◼   ► the table i'm the only one that's sober [TS]

00:51:56 ◼   ► but if you if you pan the camera back my [TS]

00:52:00 ◼   ► body language [TS]

00:52:02 ◼   ► is I and I became conscious of this like [TS]

00:52:06 ◼   ► I kind of zoomed out I was like you look [TS]

00:52:10 ◼   ► like the most fucked-up of all of them [TS]

00:52:13 ◼   ► like i was slouching in my chair leaning [TS]

00:52:16 ◼   ► on the leading on the table and half on [TS]

00:52:18 ◼   ► my hand with one foot up on a potted [TS]

00:52:20 ◼   ► plant my eyes half-closed slurring my [TS]

00:52:25 ◼   ► words almost in the in partly in a sin [TS]

00:52:29 ◼   ► like sympathetic imitation of everybody [TS]

00:52:34 ◼   ► else had a contact speech impediment [TS]

00:52:35 ◼   ► right but also i'm i'm i'm most [TS]

00:52:41 ◼   ► comfortable in that it like where the [TS]

00:52:45 ◼   ► inhibitions where everybody's [TS]

00:52:47 ◼   ► inhibitions are so far in the rearview [TS]

00:52:50 ◼   ► mirror that were that we are seconds [TS]

00:52:53 ◼   ► away from just tumbling into bed with [TS]

00:52:55 ◼   ► each other you know I'm lying I'm kind [TS]

00:52:57 ◼   ► of lying on this table like listen [TS]

00:53:00 ◼   ► here's what you fuckers need to [TS]

00:53:02 ◼   ► understand about metro and how it [TS]

00:53:08 ◼   ► interacts with the sewer system and I'm [TS]

00:53:13 ◼   ► like why am i why am I Oh what is that [TS]

00:53:16 ◼   ► why I sound like John Wayne at that [TS]

00:53:18 ◼   ► commencement the 1968 come commencement [TS]

00:53:22 ◼   ► who is against Vietnam I don't [TS]

00:53:25 ◼   ► understand it [TS]

00:53:27 ◼   ► how could you be against America on says [TS]

00:53:30 ◼   ► for clapping up and I and I realize like [TS]

00:53:34 ◼   ► this is this is what you get to that [TS]

00:53:37 ◼   ► point and that's cut that's kind of what [TS]

00:53:40 ◼   ► who I really am the rest of the time my [TS]

00:53:43 ◼   ► my by a my clearer speech and my clearer [TS]

00:53:47 ◼   ► main it's all just it's it's all just [TS]

00:53:53 ◼   ► drag it's like straight World drag [TS]

00:53:55 ◼   ► really what I would really rather be [TS]

00:53:57 ◼   ► doing is have one hand down the front of [TS]

00:53:58 ◼   ► my pants and be yelling at somebody [TS]

00:54:01 ◼   ► about about the school district [TS]

00:54:05 ◼   ► that's that's when you're in your [TS]

00:54:07 ◼   ► element [TS]

00:54:08 ◼   ► yeah yelling yelling it yelling at some [TS]

00:54:10 ◼   ► state legislature about uh about [TS]

00:54:13 ◼   ► earmarks with my pants off before i fall [TS]

00:54:20 ◼   ► i like every time I thought but [TS]

00:54:22 ◼   ► sometimes don't you get a little weary [TS]

00:54:25 ◼   ► of being around too intoxicated people [TS]

00:54:29 ◼   ► does not get on your nerves after awhile [TS]

00:54:31 ◼   ► I didn't get that feeling [TS]

00:54:33 ◼   ► ninety-nine percent of the time it does [TS]

00:54:34 ◼   ► because ninety nine percent of the time [TS]

00:54:36 ◼   ► people get shit-faced and all they have [TS]

00:54:37 ◼   ► to talk about is their record [TS]

00:54:39 ◼   ► collections you know but this end as [TS]

00:54:43 ◼   ► opposed to millage since that this group [TS]

00:54:47 ◼   ► of guys it they are that you know [TS]

00:54:53 ◼   ► they're talking about millions of [TS]

00:54:54 ◼   ► dollars and and war realms of influence [TS]

00:54:59 ◼   ► and the more fucked up they get that [TS]

00:55:03 ◼   ► they just want to talk more and more [TS]

00:55:04 ◼   ► about the world that they live in which [TS]

00:55:06 ◼   ► is this world of like the guys from [TS]

00:55:09 ◼   ► bellagio want to come up and make an [TS]

00:55:12 ◼   ► investment in this bridge project that's [TS]

00:55:17 ◼   ► like wait a minute what did you just say [TS]

00:55:19 ◼   ► the guys from bellagio why do they want [TS]

00:55:21 ◼   ► to make an investment in this bridge [TS]

00:55:23 ◼   ► project oh because the you know the [TS]

00:55:26 ◼   ► there's a lot of money in these big [TS]

00:55:31 ◼   ► construction projects and I'm like oh [TS]

00:55:33 ◼   ► right of course there is [TS]

00:55:35 ◼   ► haha up so the more drunk these guys get [TS]

00:55:38 ◼   ► and fucked up they they get like the [TS]

00:55:41 ◼   ► more interesting the conversation gets [TS]

00:55:43 ◼   ► in a way because their guard drops and [TS]

00:55:46 ◼   ► then you're talking about some like [TS]

00:55:48 ◼   ► crazy crazy shit that you know it's [TS]

00:55:52 ◼   ► never going to make it into the [TS]

00:55:53 ◼   ► newspaper and unless it's the topic of a [TS]

00:55:55 ◼   ► federal indictment so setting aside the [TS]

00:55:57 ◼   ► chili peppers when you get home for an [TS]

00:56:00 ◼   ► event like that you feel like it was a [TS]

00:56:01 ◼   ► night well spent [TS]

00:56:03 ◼   ► I can't tell because this is the this is [TS]

00:56:10 ◼   ► what I've been experiencing the last [TS]

00:56:12 ◼   ► year of getting more and more involved [TS]

00:56:13 ◼   ► in local politics is that I feel at a [TS]

00:56:16 ◼   ► certain point out of my depth and I'm [TS]

00:56:19 ◼   ► not used to feeling out of my depth and [TS]

00:56:21 ◼   ► growing up in a bit with politicians all [TS]

00:56:25 ◼   ► around [TS]

00:56:26 ◼   ► I I got used to i got used to [TS]

00:56:32 ◼   ► interacting out at a surface level with [TS]

00:56:36 ◼   ► this kind of business and feeling and I [TS]

00:56:39 ◼   ► guess made the mistake of feeling like [TS]

00:56:42 ◼   ► if you can talk the talk and if you are [TS]

00:56:46 ◼   ► chummy with everybody [TS]

00:56:49 ◼   ► then all these deals just kind of get [TS]

00:56:50 ◼   ► made and everybody wins and even looking [TS]

00:56:54 ◼   ► at my dad's life and and my uncle's life [TS]

00:56:57 ◼   ► and the people that I know who felt like [TS]

00:56:59 ◼   ► they had been miss dealt time and time [TS]

00:57:02 ◼   ► again you know my dad always complained [TS]

00:57:05 ◼   ► about not being ruthless enough it it [TS]

00:57:09 ◼   ► was his it was his main it was it wasn't [TS]

00:57:11 ◼   ► a thing he didn't want to be more [TS]

00:57:12 ◼   ► ruthless he just he just was continually [TS]

00:57:16 ◼   ► surprised that at the moment when the [TS]

00:57:19 ◼   ► deal was done and everybody was shaking [TS]

00:57:21 ◼   ► hands [TS]

00:57:22 ◼   ► there was always somebody there with a [TS]

00:57:24 ◼   ► with a knife in the gut and in the end [TS]

00:57:27 ◼   ► the thing gets taken away or the [TS]

00:57:29 ◼   ► percentage gets reduced or the you know [TS]

00:57:32 ◼   ► it's like oh I'm glad we signed this but [TS]

00:57:35 ◼   ► right before i sign i just wanna I just [TS]

00:57:37 ◼   ► wanted to insert one really minor little [TS]

00:57:41 ◼   ► thing that is going to change the nature [TS]

00:57:43 ◼   ► of this deal and take everybody for a [TS]

00:57:45 ◼   ► ride you know like that aspect of it [TS]

00:57:48 ◼   ► my dad rude it and so here i am now like [TS]

00:57:53 ◼   ► dipping my toes in the water in my [TS]

00:57:55 ◼   ► mid-forties after years of working in a [TS]

00:57:58 ◼   ► scummy business the music business but [TS]

00:58:02 ◼   ► also feeling like time and time again [TS]

00:58:03 ◼   ► not that I got not that I was rooked but [TS]

00:58:07 ◼   ► that my nature is such that when [TS]

00:58:09 ◼   ► somebody says all right great [TS]

00:58:11 ◼   ► there it is there's the deal I I relax [TS]

00:58:15 ◼   ► too soon [TS]

00:58:16 ◼   ► I go great [TS]

00:58:17 ◼   ► alright we've got a deal shake on it and [TS]

00:58:20 ◼   ► then you'd then I'm not watching out [TS]

00:58:22 ◼   ► when two weeks later an invoice comes [TS]

00:58:27 ◼   ► for all this you know like oh well they [TS]

00:58:31 ◼   ► were set up charges and then we had to [TS]

00:58:33 ◼   ► pay the other things like your burglar [TS]

00:58:34 ◼   ► alarm [TS]

00:58:35 ◼   ► exactly and in in as I could deep as i [TS]

00:58:40 ◼   ► could dip into local politics i realized [TS]

00:58:42 ◼   ► that what what's has seemed to me in 30 [TS]

00:58:46 ◼   ► years of reading the Daily newspaper as [TS]

00:58:48 ◼   ► like well that's a simple matter you [TS]

00:58:50 ◼   ► just get the guys from the waterfront [TS]

00:58:51 ◼   ► down there and you get the guys from the [TS]

00:58:53 ◼   ► shipping companies and you put them all [TS]

00:58:55 ◼   ► in a room and use strike a deal like [TS]

00:58:58 ◼   ► yeah except the guys from bellagio have [TS]

00:59:05 ◼   ► an interest in the project and all of a [TS]

00:59:08 ◼   ► sudden there's a guy from the Army Corps [TS]

00:59:10 ◼   ► of Engineers here and what the hell is [TS]

00:59:11 ◼   ► he doing here and nobody's nobody's [TS]

00:59:15 ◼   ► acknowledging him but I but like a the [TS]

00:59:22 ◼   ► Chairman looks over at him and he [TS]

00:59:25 ◼   ► imperceptibly nods and then the Chairman [TS]

00:59:29 ◼   ► calls a recess you know like all this [TS]

00:59:32 ◼   ► type of stuff we're like well now when [TS]

00:59:34 ◼   ► will while I thought we were all thought [TS]

00:59:37 ◼   ► we had a deal and so I feel out of my [TS]

00:59:40 ◼   ► depth and people now are starting to say [TS]

00:59:43 ◼   ► things to me like um there's something [TS]

00:59:47 ◼   ► in this for you if you back this project [TS]

00:59:52 ◼   ► because I don't [TS]

00:59:54 ◼   ► yeah and I don't know to what degree [TS]

00:59:55 ◼   ► this is the thing when i look at my own [TS]

00:59:58 ◼   ► voice and [TS]

00:59:58 ◼   ► voice and [TS]

01:00:00 ◼   ► own influence in seattle i have a pretty [TS]

01:00:03 ◼   ► clear idea understanding that i have no [TS]

01:00:05 ◼   ► influence in seattle beyond like or at [TS]

01:00:12 ◼   ► least my own perception of it is like oh [TS]

01:00:13 ◼   ► yeah that guy he's this get people hurt [TS]

01:00:17 ◼   ► his name but people on the other side of [TS]

01:00:21 ◼   ► this this door are starting to appeal to [TS]

01:00:27 ◼   ► my vanity and say listen if you come out [TS]

01:00:29 ◼   ► in public and endorse this candidate for [TS]

01:00:33 ◼   ► this idea then there will be a seat at [TS]

01:00:36 ◼   ► the table for you when we start to talk [TS]

01:00:40 ◼   ► about it or you know if if this [TS]

01:00:43 ◼   ► candidate get selected and you are at [TS]

01:00:45 ◼   ► the table then there will be there's a [TS]

01:00:47 ◼   ► there's opportunity for you to have here [TS]

01:00:50 ◼   ► have input you you're going to get [TS]

01:00:53 ◼   ► patronage right with Colin yeah well i [TS]

01:00:58 ◼   ► will see I'm not seeking that kind of [TS]

01:01:01 ◼   ► patrons like I don't want a government [TS]

01:01:03 ◼   ► job but i will but you know that but I [TS]

01:01:07 ◼   ► have been identified by people now as [TS]

01:01:09 ◼   ► somebody who is seeking influence or [TS]

01:01:11 ◼   ► somebody who is who wields a certain [TS]

01:01:13 ◼   ► amount of influence and edit and [TS]

01:01:16 ◼   ► everybody that plays this game at a high [TS]

01:01:18 ◼   ► level knows that people don't want to [TS]

01:01:19 ◼   ► wield influence don't ever get enough [TS]

01:01:23 ◼   ► you know like these the really great [TS]

01:01:26 ◼   ► politicians could be making a fortune if [TS]

01:01:32 ◼   ► they if any one of them just went and [TS]

01:01:34 ◼   ► got a ya got a job at a at a major law [TS]

01:01:38 ◼   ► firm you know I mean like that the big [TS]

01:01:40 ◼   ► tall the big government guys here in [TS]

01:01:42 ◼   ► Washington state they could go down to [TS]

01:01:43 ◼   ► bogel & gates and be making 350 thousand [TS]

01:01:45 ◼   ► dollars a year walking in the door and [TS]

01:01:47 ◼   ► instead they're they're working for a [TS]

01:01:49 ◼   ► hundred and ten thousand dollars a year [TS]

01:01:51 ◼   ► as a as a government guy because when [TS]

01:01:55 ◼   ► they walk in the room their Rockstar [TS]

01:01:56 ◼   ► everywhere they go [TS]

01:01:58 ◼   ► and that is the pay you know they are [TS]

01:02:01 ◼   ► powerful people and when when you get [TS]

01:02:04 ◼   ► identified as somebody and and and I and [TS]

01:02:07 ◼   ► unfortunately i am one of these people [TS]

01:02:08 ◼   ► who would sacrifice money in order to [TS]

01:02:12 ◼   ► have influenced and its really what I [TS]

01:02:14 ◼   ► have done my whole life my eye I want [TS]

01:02:17 ◼   ► the I want the power and I want the [TS]

01:02:20 ◼   ► recognition and the guys the guys who [TS]

01:02:24 ◼   ► are like yeah you take the power and the [TS]

01:02:26 ◼   ► recognition and i will take ten percent [TS]

01:02:28 ◼   ► off the top of everything that gets [TS]

01:02:29 ◼   ► built in the in this county like those [TS]

01:02:32 ◼   ► are the guys that take a helicopter [TS]

01:02:35 ◼   ► everywhere right because they're wetting [TS]

01:02:38 ◼   ► your beak [TS]

01:02:39 ◼   ► oh and all these different places right [TS]

01:02:41 ◼   ► and so anyway I having been so now I'm [TS]

01:02:44 ◼   ► starting to feel this like guys coming [TS]

01:02:45 ◼   ► up to me and saying hey we're really [TS]

01:02:47 ◼   ► glad that you're here and I'm glad that [TS]

01:02:48 ◼   ► we can count on your voice in this [TS]

01:02:50 ◼   ► nyquil whoa whoa hold on [TS]

01:02:53 ◼   ► like I came to this because i am [TS]

01:02:56 ◼   ► interested but I haven't you don't have [TS]

01:03:00 ◼   ► endorsed anything that makes like such a [TS]

01:03:04 ◼   ► bozo thing to say to somebody unless you [TS]

01:03:06 ◼   ► knew I mean like it's it's almost like [TS]

01:03:08 ◼   ► you would just assume you're trying to [TS]

01:03:10 ◼   ► find another it sounds like they're [TS]

01:03:11 ◼   ► trying to find this swinger just walking [TS]

01:03:13 ◼   ► around going so you [TS]

01:03:14 ◼   ► well yeah but then they lean in a little [TS]

01:03:15 ◼   ► closer they're like yeah well your [TS]

01:03:19 ◼   ► endorsement [TS]

01:03:20 ◼   ► I you know your endorsement matters and [TS]

01:03:24 ◼   ► if we get it then you have this you are [TS]

01:03:27 ◼   ► invited you're invited to the to a more [TS]

01:03:32 ◼   ► inner room [TS]

01:03:34 ◼   ► yeah and I go oh I want you got here [TS]

01:03:38 ◼   ► sooner than that John because what [TS]

01:03:40 ◼   ► they're it's as well just in the sense [TS]

01:03:41 ◼   ► that you might go to get a better deal [TS]

01:03:43 ◼   ► you never know but also it's like when [TS]

01:03:45 ◼   ► you join the mob and our gang and the [TS]

01:03:47 ◼   ► first thing I do is kill somebody so [TS]

01:03:49 ◼   ► they got something on you like they may [TS]

01:03:51 ◼   ► be able to be able to offer you the idea [TS]

01:03:53 ◼   ► the prospect of something that sounds [TS]

01:03:56 ◼   ► really good and yeah maybe that will [TS]

01:03:58 ◼   ► eventually pay off and now you owe them [TS]

01:03:59 ◼   ► and that's the thing i know so I so I'm [TS]

01:04:03 ◼   ► confronting the fact that I have I'm [TS]

01:04:05 ◼   ► very comfortable being in charge and i'm [TS]

01:04:11 ◼   ► entering a world where I'm not in charge [TS]

01:04:13 ◼   ► and it's not it's not a corporate [TS]

01:04:18 ◼   ► structure where the rules are clear and [TS]

01:04:21 ◼   ► where you play by certain rules and [TS]

01:04:23 ◼   ► there's a certain amount of intrigue but [TS]

01:04:25 ◼   ► there's also [TS]

01:04:26 ◼   ► dress like this is a world where you are [TS]

01:04:30 ◼   ► not in charge [TS]

01:04:31 ◼   ► the rules are up to and there is no [TS]

01:04:34 ◼   ► redress of any kind like if you get if [TS]

01:04:38 ◼   ► you get if you get 99 percent of the way [TS]

01:04:41 ◼   ► into a deal and you get boxed out of it [TS]

01:04:43 ◼   ► her here like you can sue them no [TS]

01:04:49 ◼   ► because there's because they thought of [TS]

01:04:53 ◼   ► that already first of all and second of [TS]

01:04:55 ◼   ► all like there were aspects of the deal [TS]

01:04:57 ◼   ► that that it's all happening on on a [TS]

01:05:00 ◼   ► handshake and there's no you know what [TS]

01:05:02 ◼   ► are you gonna say like oh hey i was in [TS]

01:05:04 ◼   ► on that and then they kicked me out [TS]

01:05:05 ◼   ► there like we never heard of this guy [TS]

01:05:07 ◼   ► like what you know so it's like every [TS]

01:05:09 ◼   ► high-speed it is absolutely every heist [TS]

01:05:12 ◼   ► movie and it's how politics are played [TS]

01:05:14 ◼   ► and in a way it's how it's how an aspect [TS]

01:05:17 ◼   ► of its an aspect of the way cities run [TS]

01:05:19 ◼   ► and so so I feel out of my depth i [TS]

01:05:24 ◼   ► really do i'm in these in these [TS]

01:05:26 ◼   ► situations i'm looking around these guys [TS]

01:05:27 ◼   ► and I'm like some of these guys are [TS]

01:05:28 ◼   ► tougher than me and it's not that it's [TS]

01:05:32 ◼   ► not I mean they're tougher than me in [TS]

01:05:33 ◼   ► the sense that if we went out into the [TS]

01:05:34 ◼   ► parking lot I would be they they do have [TS]

01:05:38 ◼   ► pinky rings and those picky rings are [TS]

01:05:40 ◼   ► meant to cut you [TS]

01:05:42 ◼   ► but but also like they're tougher than [TS]

01:05:44 ◼   ► me like they have they have bodies [TS]

01:05:48 ◼   ► buried all over the county and I'm I'm [TS]

01:05:54 ◼   ► like a I'm fresh blood [TS]

01:05:57 ◼   ► I'm a new guy that's like sniffing [TS]

01:05:58 ◼   ► around like a I'd like to be involved in [TS]

01:06:00 ◼   ► this local government I'd sure like to [TS]

01:06:02 ◼   ► make the world better for the for the [TS]

01:06:04 ◼   ► citizens of my County and I'd like to be [TS]

01:06:06 ◼   ► engaged in the in the process [TS]

01:06:10 ◼   ► these guys are like yeah man come on in [TS]

01:06:12 ◼   ► and have you know have a seat at the [TS]

01:06:13 ◼   ► table and and there's like that there's [TS]

01:06:17 ◼   ► the smell of blood is in the room just [TS]

01:06:19 ◼   ► like oh so what's that make you want to [TS]

01:06:23 ◼   ► do [TS]

01:06:25 ◼   ► what makes me want to figure it out but [TS]

01:06:29 ◼   ► but I reflect on my father's life as a [TS]

01:06:33 ◼   ► as a politician and one met um and I've [TS]

01:06:39 ◼   ► watched I've watched young politicians [TS]

01:06:41 ◼   ► that I know personally become [TS]

01:06:42 ◼   ► middle-aged politicians around here and [TS]

01:06:44 ◼   ► watch their gaze get Flint here and [TS]

01:06:48 ◼   ► there smile get more like that there's [TS]

01:06:54 ◼   ► an element of rigor mortis that comes in [TS]

01:06:57 ◼   ► to their face and it's like oh wow some [TS]

01:07:01 ◼   ► something is hard about them and then [TS]

01:07:03 ◼   ► when you look at the national [TS]

01:07:04 ◼   ► politicians you really look at them [TS]

01:07:06 ◼   ► those candid photographs you see every [TS]

01:07:08 ◼   ► once in a while like a u.s. senator [TS]

01:07:10 ◼   ► that's been there for 25 years and you [TS]

01:07:13 ◼   ► just see the like the death that's on [TS]

01:07:16 ◼   ► them and the-the-the like the capacity [TS]

01:07:23 ◼   ► for evil [TS]

01:07:24 ◼   ► that's right behind their eyes and you [TS]

01:07:27 ◼   ► go fuck like those guys even the [TS]

01:07:30 ◼   ► gentlest even the friendly ones are [TS]

01:07:34 ◼   ► terrifying wild animals like they think [TS]

01:07:38 ◼   ► they've held the ring for too long [TS]

01:07:40 ◼   ► yeah you get that what Ted Kennedy Tip [TS]

01:07:44 ◼   ► O'Neill dick cheney name anybody in the [TS]

01:07:48 ◼   ► Democratic Party or really politics has [TS]

01:07:50 ◼   ► been around for a long time they get [TS]

01:07:52 ◼   ► that that flabby too much cortisol [TS]

01:07:56 ◼   ► stress thing plus the gin blossoms and [TS]

01:07:59 ◼   ► it's just like oh that's that's the [TS]

01:08:00 ◼   ► corporately behind it looks like the [TS]

01:08:02 ◼   ► stress is what i see like that but their [TS]

01:08:04 ◼   ► their their body and their mind their [TS]

01:08:05 ◼   ► life has been stressed and then [TS]

01:08:07 ◼   ► repeatedly stressed so many times just [TS]

01:08:09 ◼   ► so that it becomes a kind of hardened [TS]

01:08:11 ◼   ► steel like it just gets here for the [TS]

01:08:14 ◼   ► flabbiness the tensile strength is I am [TS]

01:08:17 ◼   ► I I feel like even the even the gentle [TS]

01:08:20 ◼   ► ones like like barney frank or maria [TS]

01:08:23 ◼   ► cantwell like in those you remember that [TS]

01:08:27 ◼   ► picture of Ted Bundy that was taken in [TS]

01:08:30 ◼   ► the courtroom where he made that [TS]

01:08:32 ◼   ► yeah ferocious screaming face [TS]

01:08:35 ◼   ► and he was doing he had to be doing it [TS]

01:08:38 ◼   ► with the knowledge that he was being [TS]

01:08:39 ◼   ► photographed and it's like this terrible [TS]

01:08:41 ◼   ► moment where serial killers never really [TS]

01:08:45 ◼   ► let their guard down that way and he was [TS]

01:08:47 ◼   ► performing this kind of what does he [TS]

01:08:49 ◼   ► will look like on his face but it really [TS]

01:08:53 ◼   ► isn't it really is a terrible picture [TS]

01:08:55 ◼   ► who and and I see that I see that same [TS]

01:09:01 ◼   ► kind of scream just on the Placid faces [TS]

01:09:06 ◼   ► of of CEOs and high-ranking government [TS]

01:09:12 ◼   ► people where it's just like because [TS]

01:09:15 ◼   ► these are the people that say like well [TS]

01:09:17 ◼   ► 10,000 10,000 soldiers are going to die [TS]

01:09:20 ◼   ► during this invasion but that's the [TS]

01:09:22 ◼   ► price of establishing this beachhead and [TS]

01:09:25 ◼   ► you just go right i am i am not at the [TS]

01:09:31 ◼   ► point where I could consign 10,000 [TS]

01:09:33 ◼   ► people to die with the will and feel [TS]

01:09:37 ◼   ► confident that that was that was [TS]

01:09:39 ◼   ► necessary and without that you can't you [TS]

01:09:44 ◼   ► can't be in that room it's not that they [TS]

01:09:45 ◼   ► won't invite you in that room but you [TS]

01:09:47 ◼   ► are just food but they can smell it they [TS]

01:09:51 ◼   ► absolutely do and I think they smell it [TS]

01:09:52 ◼   ► on me right now here in local politics [TS]

01:09:54 ◼   ► like I am food and they don't know they [TS]

01:09:59 ◼   ► don't know how much food I am or how [TS]

01:10:00 ◼   ► good I am like how tasty i am departing [TS]