Roderick on the Line

Ep. 83: "The Roderick Group"


00:00:00   hello hey john i'm marilyn is going to [TS]

00:00:11   move [TS]

00:00:12   ja don't take your love to town [TS]

00:00:19   mmm god it's early 50s he is a word is [TS]

00:00:24   that the worm has turned [TS]

00:00:27   I just looked that phrase up not but two [TS]

00:00:30   days ago [TS]

00:00:31   yeah German know what Shakespeare ah I [TS]

00:00:34   knew that it was Shakespeare but i [TS]

00:00:36   thought i thought that it meant i've [TS]

00:00:40   been using of course as we all have [TS]

00:00:41   forever and I thought that it meant now [TS]

00:00:45   the now the jig is up now the shoes on [TS]

00:00:48   the other foot now the you know what I [TS]

00:00:53   mean it's like with the switcheroo has [TS]

00:00:54   been pulled a switcheroo has been pulled [TS]

00:00:56   that's exactly right but in fact in [TS]

00:00:58   Shakespeare it means literally that even [TS]

00:01:05   the worm one day will rise up if you [TS]

00:01:11   insult him enough if you dance if he who [TS]

00:01:15   if you step on the worm even the worm [TS]

00:01:18   will turn and I i think i like that one [TS]

00:01:22   better [TS]

00:01:23   I liked it better to and i was [TS]

00:01:24   astonished at how how neutered the term [TS]

00:01:28   had become over the centuries you know [TS]

00:01:31   if you just sort of like oh the worm has [TS]

00:01:33   turned [TS]

00:01:34   murmur but in fact it means no the worm [TS]

00:01:37   will rise up [TS]

00:01:39   and fight you even the worm [TS]

00:01:42   oh it's it's really killing its gnarly [TS]

00:01:45   yeah so all of a sudden I no longer feel [TS]

00:01:49   like I can use the worm has turned in [TS]

00:01:53   the mundane events of my normal life I [TS]

00:01:56   have just I have to save it until I am I [TS]

00:01:59   mean it's like it's some shit that a [TS]

00:02:02   that so that a superhero would say when [TS]

00:02:06   they had almost completely been [TS]

00:02:08   vanquished I don't want to talk about [TS]

00:02:11   comic books but no I don't know it's a [TS]

00:02:14   heavy it's a heavy i think it's good [TS]

00:02:16   enough i don't know if this is the [TS]

00:02:17   chrome uses the term correctly it's [TS]

00:02:18   gonna keep my powder dry i like it so [TS]

00:02:20   much that i'm only gonna use it a couple [TS]

00:02:21   times a year [TS]

00:02:22   yeah yeah that's always going to be if [TS]

00:02:24   I've really let's say I'm talking to [TS]

00:02:25   like a doorman or something and I just [TS]

00:02:27   want to say that's enough [TS]

00:02:31   mmm the water my friend has turned [TS]

00:02:35   except in almost every instance that i [TS]

00:02:37   normally use it the other person is the [TS]

00:02:40   worm and now I'm realizing i am i'm [TS]

00:02:45   basically calling their I'm calm I'm [TS]

00:02:48   singing their their anthem and in fact I [TS]

00:02:51   should let them say the now serve the [TS]

00:02:53   worm has turned [TS]

00:02:55   that's about the security guard you know [TS]

00:02:57   in which every episode that was she [TS]

00:02:59   should have said the worm has turned [TS]

00:03:01   you're a lot like Samuel Jackson in so [TS]

00:03:03   many ways in Pulp Fiction you know where [TS]

00:03:05   at the end he you know he's been saying [TS]

00:03:07   that bible verse over and over and he [TS]

00:03:08   realized it means something else he said [TS]

00:03:11   now that's right i just realized the [TS]

00:03:12   worm has turned is some cold-blooded [TS]

00:03:14   ship [TS]

00:03:14   yeah exactly and he's going through a [TS]

00:03:16   transitional period [TS]

00:03:18   yeah yeah that's right he's the baby's [TS]

00:03:19   late may be laying his guns down [TS]

00:03:21   you're kind of going through it right [TS]

00:03:21   your kind of a kind of worm is turning [TS]

00:03:23   into a butterfly [TS]

00:03:25   I'm feeling I'm you know I've been [TS]

00:03:26   laying my guns down lately and I really [TS]

00:03:29   don't know what's going to come of it [TS]

00:03:31   someone wrote me a very nice letter the [TS]

00:03:33   other day saying you know I think that [TS]

00:03:36   people's the we all joke like that this [TS]

00:03:39   podcast is helpful to people but then [TS]

00:03:42   there's the there's the next level with [TS]

00:03:44   which is people saying all kidding aside [TS]

00:03:47   it really does help and then there's the [TS]

00:03:50   you know their multiple levels of [TS]

00:03:52   are you really kidding there's people [TS]

00:03:55   checking our word shorts that's not [TS]

00:03:56   really kidding aside [TS]

00:03:57   yeah there's people that are mad at us [TS]

00:03:59   for every other thing we say yeah you [TS]

00:04:00   know I got a lot of that only talk about [TS]

00:04:02   the show on the show but I i saw a lot [TS]

00:04:04   of nice response to that too it's it's [TS]

00:04:06   almost like you're your follow-up on the [TS]

00:04:08   well stroll in some ways I just like to [TS]

00:04:11   congratulate cut all this out that well [TS]

00:04:13   but but uh but I got a lot of got a nice [TS]

00:04:15   letter from somebody saying that you [TS]

00:04:18   should you should legitimately like [TS]

00:04:21   compile your thoughts into some kind of [TS]

00:04:24   volume because if they if those thoughts [TS]

00:04:27   were all in one place that would be a [TS]

00:04:28   very helpful manual for people natural [TS]

00:04:31   do agree I agree with that [TS]

00:04:33   well no and this is the problem up [TS]

00:04:34   because i am i'm more and more all the [TS]

00:04:39   time i am announcing my own code in the [TS]

00:04:44   sense that I although well this is the [TS]

00:04:47   problem although people are terrible [TS]

00:04:49   drivers and although they are bad [TS]

00:04:50   citizens and although they need [TS]

00:04:52   corrective measures and many many many [TS]

00:04:55   many many people every day should get a [TS]

00:04:58   light punch in the nose some should get [TS]

00:05:01   a stronger punch in the nose but i but I [TS]

00:05:04   no longer feel confident that that may [TS]

00:05:09   be history isn't against us like that [TS]

00:05:14   that what seems to us to be a passing [TS]

00:05:20   phase which is that this that the [TS]

00:05:22   culture is like so concerned with in the [TS]

00:05:27   in the parlance of merlin mann like [TS]

00:05:29   where's my parade this like where's my [TS]

00:05:31   parade culture and the and the egg like [TS]

00:05:36   overwhelming focus on rights that are [TS]

00:05:41   being infringed upon and and you know [TS]

00:05:45   like a constant kind of licking of our [TS]

00:05:48   wounds and and doubling down on our like [TS]

00:05:53   our Pete you know like p IQ you e huh [TS]

00:05:59   but it seems like with every passing day [TS]

00:06:02   this is the language now this is the way [TS]

00:06:05   that people think [TS]

00:06:06   and speak that the the the insidious in [TS]

00:06:10   the summit doesn't doesn't mean that it [TS]

00:06:13   isn't the new truth and more and more I [TS]

00:06:17   feel like I don't want to be on the [TS]

00:06:21   wrong side of history even if I feel [TS]

00:06:24   like history has turned to turn wrong [TS]

00:06:28   like I I need to be able to i need to be [TS]

00:06:32   able to say to people like that there's [TS]

00:06:38   a better way or there's a more elegant [TS]

00:06:40   way without just without fuming so much [TS]

00:06:44   you know what I mean I feel like I feel [TS]

00:06:46   like a fume and that that isn't that [TS]

00:06:50   isn't am what at an infertile response [TS]

00:06:57   to anything really fuming is the is the [TS]

00:07:01   most neutered response and I need to be [TS]

00:07:04   more active and I don't and I so I have [TS]

00:07:06   to engage have to engage this culture on [TS]

00:07:09   its terms and I resent it [TS]

00:07:13   well you know the attitude that you have [TS]

00:07:16   had fairly recently historically makes [TS]

00:07:20   sense [TS]

00:07:21   um if if you're in a in a club and [TS]

00:07:26   somebody slaps you with a white glove [TS]

00:07:28   your entire and you like you're totally [TS]

00:07:30   entitled to get that person to punch in [TS]

00:07:31   the nose [TS]

00:07:32   it's just it's like a lot of people who [TS]

00:07:33   don't really know you are emailing your [TS]

00:07:35   gloves and that doesn't scale well and [TS]

00:07:39   also like I like it seems almost like [TS]

00:07:43   the like the kind of apocryphal guy who [TS]

00:07:47   who believes in a gentleman's handshake [TS]

00:07:51   and then the unscrupulous developer [TS]

00:07:53   shows up with bulldozers and tears down [TS]

00:07:58   his house [TS]

00:08:01   because the guy didn't read the fine [TS]

00:08:03   print and although we all agree that the [TS]

00:08:06   guy who didn't begin the guy who [TS]

00:08:08   believes in a in a gentleman's agreement [TS]

00:08:10   is like morally ethically the hero of [TS]

00:08:13   that of that poem he still got his house [TS]

00:08:17   torn down and he still is [TS]

00:08:19   you know like you have to learn the you [TS]

00:08:22   have to learn to read the fine print it [TS]

00:08:23   seems like now more and more the fine [TS]

00:08:26   print is oversensitivity hyper [TS]

00:08:30   consciousness of language to the [TS]

00:08:33   exclusion of meaning and uh you know and [TS]

00:08:40   a complete focus on the surface of the [TS]

00:08:44   the surface like realms of umbrage and [TS]

00:08:49   insult and very little interest in the [TS]

00:08:56   it in general ism and in well that's [TS]

00:09:02   that's what sells [TS]

00:09:03   I mean it's you know why don't you but [TS]

00:09:06   the but these are these are the college [TS]

00:09:07   kids these are the kids that used to sit [TS]

00:09:09   in and debate mean even 20 years ago sit [TS]

00:09:12   and debate the finer points of yeah but [TS]

00:09:15   there's a part of the problem with that [TS]

00:09:16   is that right now are transgender rights [TS]

00:09:19   are indistinguishable from liking [TS]

00:09:20   android and people want to have the same [TS]

00:09:23   kind of you know incredibly heated [TS]

00:09:26   argument that goes nowhere basically [TS]

00:09:28   comes down to i wish more people agree [TS]

00:09:31   to be like me and and that is generally [TS]

00:09:33   not a fruitful way to go and I think [TS]

00:09:34   history is boring that out part of the [TS]

00:09:36   problem with the parade thing in my [TS]

00:09:39   opinion is that you know if you want to [TS]

00:09:41   parade go start your own fucking parade [TS]

00:09:42   and don't care who comes and don't care [TS]

00:09:44   who likes it or not that's that that is [TS]

00:09:46   you know where thats empowerment [TS]

00:09:48   empowerment is not sitting around and [TS]

00:09:49   waiting for people to use the right word [TS]

00:09:51   to make you feel like a whole human it's [TS]

00:09:53   going out and living your life the way [TS]

00:09:54   that you want and being imperturbable [TS]

00:09:56   about the people who see you is less [TS]

00:09:58   than you want to be and and there's no [TS]

00:10:00   amount of parsing language is going to [TS]

00:10:01   fucking improve that it's just it can't [TS]

00:10:03   be done [TS]

00:10:03   maybe in time everybody will evolve with [TS]

00:10:05   the best way for that to evolve as [TS]

00:10:06   everybody who wants to be in that parade [TS]

00:10:08   all walking in the same direction [TS]

00:10:09   don't worry about it likes it or not [TS]

00:10:11   yeah unfortunately if I had chosen to [TS]

00:10:17   live in a world [TS]

00:10:19   well if I have if I had chosen in [TS]

00:10:21   college to be an electrical engineer i [TS]

00:10:24   would take the job John that isn't it [TS]

00:10:26   how it's a good paying job I would be [TS]

00:10:29   now living in a culture of Engineers [TS]

00:10:30   specifically electrical engineers and [TS]

00:10:33   within the within our flights right [TS]

00:10:36   that's like being the car radio dr. [TS]

00:10:37   official engineer within our culture us [TS]

00:10:42   electrical engineers sitting around at [TS]

00:10:44   are drafting tables and our autocad [TS]

00:10:47   terminals and you know whatever our bar [TS]

00:10:52   function machines the culture of our of [TS]

00:10:59   our profession in our our side of the [TS]

00:11:01   world you know generally electrical [TS]

00:11:03   engineers tend to be very [TS]

00:11:04   process-oriented and you know and and [TS]

00:11:08   within that I would be able to pretty [TS]

00:11:11   much adopt you know with whatever kind [TS]

00:11:15   of worldview I wanted to and and [TS]

00:11:19   maintain it regardless [TS]

00:11:22   irrespective of what the outside world [TS]

00:11:24   is doing because I'm living in my [TS]

00:11:26   electrical engineer igloo or my my [TS]

00:11:30   Trapper minor trappers ball gang or [TS]

00:11:35   whatever but you know i have chosen to [TS]

00:11:37   be someone who is engaged with the [TS]

00:11:40   culture specifically the leftist culture [TS]

00:11:43   not just in America but in the world and [TS]

00:11:48   the progressive you know i have chosen [TS]

00:11:49   to be a progressive this is the problem [TS]

00:11:52   i have chosen to be a progressive I am [TS]

00:11:55   NOT a long time I am a person who is who [TS]

00:12:02   spent his whole life engaged in the in [TS]

00:12:04   the culture of ideas and this is the [TS]

00:12:10   this is where the culture of ideas seems [TS]

00:12:12   to be trending and I mean you know so [TS]

00:12:16   often I get letters or you and I get [TS]

00:12:19   letters from people who work in [TS]

00:12:21   universities [TS]

00:12:22   and who appreciate what we do and yet at [TS]

00:12:27   the end of the at the end of the page [TS]

00:12:29   they always feel very good naturedly [TS]

00:12:32   like they need to just kind of add like [TS]

00:12:35   one little tag sentence one little tag [TS]

00:12:38   at the end saying something about you [TS]

00:12:45   know how we need to take more feminist [TS]

00:12:47   theory classes or how ping pong is this [TS]

00:12:50   ping-pong or whatever you know some [TS]

00:12:52   little just like good-natured but still [TS]

00:12:56   pointed lecture that we're doing it [TS]

00:13:00   wrong and and all you know and it's all [TS]

00:13:05   it always comes from the same place that [TS]

00:13:07   we are we that the they love that we are [TS]

00:13:09   thinking outside of the of the the [TS]

00:13:13   mental block or the the mental apartment [TS]

00:13:16   blocks but that in the end they're also [TS]

00:13:19   confident that that we're doing it wrong [TS]

00:13:25   that we are that that we are at that [TS]

00:13:30   joke racism isn't funny that that joke [TS]

00:13:33   that joking isn't funny when it is about [TS]

00:13:36   these uber serious topics of identity [TS]

00:13:40   and like and pick [TS]

00:13:47   because I'm because i have chosen [TS]

00:13:48   progressivism as my language like I [TS]

00:13:52   can't make myself involved horrible to [TS]

00:13:54   that you know what I mean like I can't [TS]

00:13:56   say you don't get it you're not you [TS]

00:14:00   don't dig it like you're not hip or [TS]

00:14:03   whatever like i have to engage [TS]

00:14:05   progressives on their turf and but don't [TS]

00:14:11   you I mean there must be things that you [TS]

00:14:13   enjoy except for this one thing it's [TS]

00:14:16   just that you don't feel the need to i'm [TS]

00:14:18   not trying to sound ungrateful for [TS]

00:14:20   somebody and liking it I mean I I can [TS]

00:14:22   speak for myself it's just it doesn't [TS]

00:14:23   bother me because it's everybody's [TS]

00:14:26   entitled to an opinion for sure and it's [TS]

00:14:29   nice that people want to make some kind [TS]

00:14:31   of connection but take to maybe maybe to [TS]

00:14:33   your point I think I you know I'm not [TS]

00:14:36   crazy about that word brand but it's [TS]

00:14:38   hard to get away from we have a personal [TS]

00:14:40   brand about how we want the world to see [TS]

00:14:42   us and what things we choose you choose [TS]

00:14:44   to associate ourselves with and part of [TS]

00:14:46   brand is in some ways story and his [TS]

00:14:49   first story to make sense it has to have [TS]

00:14:51   a beginning a middle and an end and the [TS]

00:14:53   stories that we tell ourselves have to [TS]

00:14:55   make sense and they have to not have [TS]

00:14:56   plot holes and the rebranding because [TS]

00:14:59   when you have a story in your head about [TS]

00:15:01   how something goes your beer as much as [TS]

00:15:03   you might really enjoy something or [TS]

00:15:05   really you know not just this but [TS]

00:15:07   whatever it might be something you [TS]

00:15:08   really enjoy but you know when you find [TS]

00:15:10   out the dome lawyers drove drunk you [TS]

00:15:12   can't help but have that like not sit [TS]

00:15:14   right in your head if you turn it over [TS]

00:15:16   because it doesn't fit the story doesn't [TS]

00:15:17   fit the brand i think that's what it is [TS]

00:15:19   and I think that gets heavily amplified [TS]

00:15:21   on the web and social media interactions [TS]

00:15:24   because that's this we don't you know we [TS]

00:15:26   stopped noticing you know the huge [TS]

00:15:28   amount of DNA that has us similar [TS]

00:15:31   meaning mostly you know people who can [TS]

00:15:33   afford to have a computer and an [TS]

00:15:34   internet connection and it goes into [TS]

00:15:36   that narcissism of minor differences [TS]

00:15:37   about this one thing we can't reconcile [TS]

00:15:40   in that story and that's what people get [TS]

00:15:42   fixated on and you know and that's [TS]

00:15:44   integration sit around singing Kumbayah [TS]

00:15:45   I'm saying just you know it can be just [TS]

00:15:49   like do their own thing to be fucked up [TS]

00:15:50   and have that be ok [TS]

00:15:51   like it's white what why do you know ill [TS]

00:15:54   there's always been bad parties and [TS]

00:15:56   we've always had the ability to walk [TS]

00:15:58   away from them [TS]

00:15:58   you know you you need a better class of [TS]

00:16:01   people and your races friend you and [TS]

00:16:06   your racist friend nothing if I seem a [TS]

00:16:09   little distracted these cuts there [TS]

00:16:11   beeping when i first moved into this [TS]

00:16:13   house my neighbors said you gotta get an [TS]

00:16:16   alarm have to get an alarm for your [TS]

00:16:19   house because there are a lot of [TS]

00:16:21   Breaking and enterings and I was like [TS]

00:16:24   mmm yeah I have my own security system [TS]

00:16:27   in the form of Tiger traps [TS]

00:16:29   it's in the umbrella stand by the book [TS]

00:16:31   but but they were like no no you know [TS]

00:16:34   like a good friend of mine his house got [TS]

00:16:36   broken into like three times and he has [TS]

00:16:38   dogs and i think that the feeds just [TS]

00:16:41   like actually threw some steaks up on [TS]

00:16:44   the porch the dogs ran out on the porch [TS]

00:16:46   to get the stakes let's see mister the [TS]

00:16:48   cat ran in shut the door behind the dogs [TS]

00:16:51   and then took everything and so I was [TS]

00:16:54   like okay I'm gonna get an alarm system [TS]

00:16:56   but then it and then it was that's that [TS]

00:16:58   same process that you go through anytime [TS]

00:17:00   you want a service now just like [TS]

00:17:04   ordering the heart rate of phone or the [TS]

00:17:07   internet or whatever it's like a whole [TS]

00:17:09   menu of different expect you know [TS]

00:17:12   different services and attendant charges [TS]

00:17:16   none of them are the right the menu is [TS]

00:17:18   never right it's like wait a minute [TS]

00:17:19   it's like the Wright brothers when i get [TS]

00:17:21   like looking in the age of paper planes [TS]

00:17:23   and bicycle engine it is I thought about [TS]

00:17:26   doing that and i found it was like [TS]

00:17:27   buying an Adobe product it was [TS]

00:17:29   completely inscrutable the options and [TS]

00:17:31   the names and the features and benefits [TS]

00:17:32   i find it totally overwhelming it's the [TS]

00:17:34   worst and it's a you know I cancelled my [TS]

00:17:36   cable because I was insulted that [TS]

00:17:39   internet cost whatever it costs a [TS]

00:17:42   hundred dollars and cable was five [TS]

00:17:44   dollars extra it's like why I don't [TS]

00:17:46   subscribe to the new york times because [TS]

00:17:47   they're like the sunday New York Times [TS]

00:17:49   eight dollars of dollars a month and [TS]

00:17:52   then you can get it every single day of [TS]

00:17:54   the week for eight dollars and [TS]

00:17:55   twenty-five cents you're like fuck you [TS]

00:17:57   you know what that's just that I think [TS]

00:18:00   dangerous [TS]

00:18:01   that's right it's User so but but my [TS]

00:18:04   friends were like you got to get this [TS]

00:18:05   alarm system so i got an alarm so [TS]

00:18:08   system installed but I don't have a [TS]

00:18:10   landline so yeah I had to get an alarm [TS]

00:18:13   system that was cell phone-based so when [TS]

00:18:19   somebody breaks into your house it over [TS]

00:18:22   the seller for your convenience over the [TS]

00:18:24   cellular wires it sends an alert and I [TS]

00:18:28   knew that it was I knew that it was a [TS]

00:18:31   placebo you know I knew that this thing [TS]

00:18:34   would never protect me from burglary or [TS]

00:18:38   from fire from anything but it was a [TS]

00:18:40   thing that every time I leave the house [TS]

00:18:42   I push the buttons on the wall [TS]

00:18:44   it gives me a reassuring series of beeps [TS]

00:18:46   and I walk out of the house secure in [TS]

00:18:49   the knowledge that there is a fake thing [TS]

00:18:51   guarding my house and that that that [TS]

00:18:54   that this fake thing is going to act [TS]

00:18:57   somehow as a deterrent against whatever [TS]

00:19:00   like methi burglar once in my house but [TS]

00:19:05   but I knew the whole time it is a [TS]

00:19:08   cheap-ass system if it went off [TS]

00:19:11   none of my neighbors would hear it let [TS]

00:19:14   alone respond to it [TS]

00:19:16   the company itself probably probably the [TS]

00:19:20   alarm would there be so many dropped [TS]

00:19:23   calls that it would take 20 minutes to [TS]

00:19:25   send the message and then the cops would [TS]

00:19:28   be here four hours later but just [TS]

00:19:31   recently the alarm has decided after 45 [TS]

00:19:33   years of being in my house that it is [TS]

00:19:35   having a malfunction and now it just [TS]

00:19:41   beeps at random times and i called the [TS]

00:19:48   company and went through a whole process [TS]

00:19:49   with the put their customer service [TS]

00:19:51   person where [TS]

00:19:54   she tried everything she could to fix it [TS]

00:19:56   from a from a long distance to no avail [TS]

00:20:02   and now it wakes me up in the middle of [TS]

00:20:04   the night right now it's beeping [TS]

00:20:07   downstairs eat and I feel like I not [TS]

00:20:12   only do I feel like ripping it out of [TS]

00:20:13   the wall but I feel like ripping I feel [TS]

00:20:17   like ripping like America out of the [TS]

00:20:20   wall you know there's there there [TS]

00:20:22   this is the model that this company has [TS]

00:20:25   this company knows that it is a shit [TS]

00:20:28   service for for the for those keeping [TS]

00:20:30   track it is called monitronics that is [TS]

00:20:33   the name on the tracks at a local [TS]

00:20:34   company or no it is not it so it's one [TS]

00:20:36   of these like it's a it's a national [TS]

00:20:38   company it is probably owned by a series [TS]

00:20:42   of offshore shell companies and and [TS]

00:20:45   ultimately it is owned by General [TS]

00:20:47   Electric or by album it's probably owned [TS]

00:20:51   by Albert and it is it is a it's a [TS]

00:20:54   pyramid scheme kind of company where [TS]

00:20:56   they are true what they're trying to do [TS]

00:20:57   is get more customers all the time [TS]

00:20:59   they're not trying to provide service [TS]

00:21:01   you know like they're out there just [TS]

00:21:03   just steps just like going going door to [TS]

00:21:08   door trying to recruit people into their [TS]

00:21:10   listen to that it doesn't really do it [TS]

00:21:12   that often is it really going that often [TS]

00:21:14   well it is never done this before [TS]

00:21:16   until I sat down to do this podcast and [TS]

00:21:18   all the sudden I was like that thing [TS]

00:21:20   just beeped out twice and now it's it's [TS]

00:21:22   every I think it's happening every 45 [TS]

00:21:25   seconds be mindful right and that's and [TS]

00:21:28   so right now it's like it is really [TS]

00:21:30   keeping me in the present but but but [TS]

00:21:33   it's an example like I remember you [TS]

00:21:35   remember when I when I left verizon and [TS]

00:21:39   I had been on verizon the verizon had my [TS]

00:21:41   first cell phone and I was on verizon [TS]

00:21:43   for eight years or something like that [TS]

00:21:44   and I wanted to get an iphone and they [TS]

00:21:48   didn't have it and I said to the lady [TS]

00:21:51   and I called him up and I was like I've [TS]

00:21:53   been on month-to-month for like five [TS]

00:21:55   years now I'm canceling my service [TS]

00:21:58   because i want to get an iphone and I [TS]

00:22:00   have to go to AT&T I don't like them any [TS]

00:22:02   better but i but I want to I want to I [TS]

00:22:04   want to make this move [TS]

00:22:06   and she said well you came in a year and [TS]

00:22:09   a half ago because you dropped your [TS]

00:22:11   phone in the bathtub and at that time [TS]

00:22:15   you signed a new contract and so you're [TS]

00:22:17   not on month-to-month you are under [TS]

00:22:19   contract to us and it's going to cost [TS]

00:22:21   you three hundred dollars to get out of [TS]

00:22:22   this contract I was like I did no such [TS]

00:22:25   thing I dropped my phone in the tub and [TS]

00:22:27   i came in and i paid someone and she's [TS]

00:22:29   in Russia can that you didn't read the [TS]

00:22:31   fine print didn't read the fine print [TS]

00:22:32   and they did not you know that there [TS]

00:22:35   that's their game they didn't tell me [TS]

00:22:36   that I was signing a new contract they [TS]

00:22:38   said well we give you this brand new [TS]

00:22:40   phone for only twenty-five dollars and I [TS]

00:22:42   was like shocks you guys are nice and so [TS]

00:22:47   I was so mad and I'm talking to this [TS]

00:22:50   woman on the phone and I was like this [TS]

00:22:51   is your idea of customer service like [TS]

00:22:54   I'll never use verizon again and she [TS]

00:22:59   said quite wisely you are calling to [TS]

00:23:03   cancel your verizon service [TS]

00:23:05   why what I think you were going to use [TS]

00:23:07   verizon again and ice and I I thought [TS]

00:23:11   about a person I was like you know life [TS]

00:23:14   is long lady like there's there's [TS]

00:23:17   another 50 years of me interacting with [TS]

00:23:19   phone companies and you are you're [TS]

00:23:21   you're you're like you're burning this [TS]

00:23:23   bridge right now with me over some [TS]

00:23:26   couple hundred bucks but that's here you [TS]

00:23:30   know that's your attitude and your [TS]

00:23:31   attitude is that next next time you'll [TS]

00:23:33   have the iphone and then I'll just like [TS]

00:23:35   a little patient lamb i'll just be led [TS]

00:23:38   over to be tied up at your Corral that [TS]

00:23:43   was kind of a tortured metaphor [TS]

00:23:45   yeah I anyway so this miss monitronics [TS]

00:23:48   thing and I just I feel like I don't [TS]

00:23:50   know it's a i'm back to wanting to put a [TS]

00:23:51   flamethrower to everybody and I'm I just [TS]

00:23:54   don't feel like that's I can't continue [TS]

00:23:56   to be my my method [TS]

00:24:00   well ma I i like that continues sounding [TS]

00:24:03   very sage and and and distant from these [TS]

00:24:05   things about it that much mean [TS]

00:24:07   incredibly emotional it makes me want to [TS]

00:24:09   tear America out of the wall and because [TS]

00:24:11   every single one of the shit storm [TS]

00:24:12   there's not one of them that you can get [TS]

00:24:14   mobbed up with it's going to be good i [TS]

00:24:15   mean ask how many people you see walking [TS]

00:24:17   around in a verizon sure [TS]

00:24:19   and being really happy like he just [TS]

00:24:20   doesn't have the verizon tattoo sure [TS]

00:24:23   what it's all your eyes and can judge me [TS]

00:24:26   it's all the startups down in San [TS]

00:24:28   Francisco just like disruptive to shovel [TS]

00:24:31   that shit out the door and then you know [TS]

00:24:33   and let people let you know just like [TS]

00:24:37   let people deal with it i guess and [TS]

00:24:39   we'll we'll have we'll have our we'll [TS]

00:24:41   have our hundred million dollars and [TS]

00:24:42   will be under the next garbage pile i [TS]

00:24:46   had a similar calling experience as long [TS]

00:24:49   as we're talking about customer service [TS]

00:24:50   really get back to food & parenting but [TS]

00:24:52   Deion this one's really killed me [TS]

00:24:55   I at some point something happened I [TS]

00:24:57   don't know later on I want to like do [TS]

00:24:59   something different with my myphone find [TS]

00:25:01   out if i'm eligible for a thing and they [TS]

00:25:03   go oh well you know your seems you you [TS]

00:25:05   actually you just reach up your contract [TS]

00:25:06   you know a few months ago and I was like [TS]

00:25:10   oh my like what an auto- thing and like [TS]

00:25:14   you know you each you know when you you [TS]

00:25:16   changed your options [TS]

00:25:18   I asked you to drip login pin close even [TS]

00:25:22   better i added a service i add a [TS]

00:25:25   tethering so that I could use my phone [TS]

00:25:27   you know to to connect you know using [TS]

00:25:29   the ipad i could tether my phone so I i [TS]

00:25:31   asked them to charge me extra for [TS]

00:25:33   something that's really pretty much [TS]

00:25:34   invisible non-service and that renewed [TS]

00:25:37   my contract with them which it yeah but [TS]

00:25:40   that's really gracious of them to you [TS]

00:25:42   know but you know you pay for it and [TS]

00:25:44   then you get that and you know that's [TS]

00:25:46   like the whole thing you know that the [TS]

00:25:50   part that I can't reconcile on this [TS]

00:25:51   story is that like I really wish I could [TS]

00:25:53   just deal with people and have a [TS]

00:25:55   relationship that didn't feel like I [TS]

00:25:57   constantly have to monitor like exactly [TS]

00:25:59   how and when I'm being fucked [TS]

00:26:01   yeah it and whether that's something [TS]

00:26:02   like a company who keeps emailing me [TS]

00:26:04   stuff even though I never signed up for [TS]

00:26:05   anything Jonny silly stuff like that but [TS]

00:26:08   I mean you know you think about what you [TS]

00:26:09   pay for phone it really really adds up [TS]

00:26:11   and it makes me it makes my world small [TS]

00:26:14   because i do stuff like right now I have [TS]

00:26:16   my phone forward to google voice just [TS]

00:26:17   because I don't get real phone calls [TS]

00:26:19   anymore [TS]

00:26:19   yeah the vast majority of calls that I [TS]

00:26:21   get like this afternoon i got a phone [TS]

00:26:23   call I don't know what it's about i [TS]

00:26:24   don't speak spanish i think it might be [TS]

00:26:26   about 35 mortgages you don't have a [TS]

00:26:30   mortgage [TS]

00:26:31   I know [TS]

00:26:32   I got a phone domino's I get you know I [TS]

00:26:37   had a guy come and fix my aunt problem i [TS]

00:26:40   finally had a disturbing that's great [TS]

00:26:42   well wait wait for it like the guy cums [TS]

00:26:45   he's like and the woman on the phone I [TS]

00:26:47   said how much is a costume and she says [TS]

00:26:49   well answer really hard to eradicate [TS]

00:26:51   will have a guy come out with a free [TS]

00:26:53   estimate was like a free estimate so the [TS]

00:26:58   guy comes out and of course like he [TS]

00:27:01   comes out at eight thirty in the morning [TS]

00:27:02   and I have somewhere to be that one did [TS]

00:27:05   I have somewhere to be that one day at [TS]

00:27:08   nine you know 915 and I'm like alright [TS]

00:27:09   alright let's hurry this along like what [TS]

00:27:11   what's the story and he's like oh yeah [TS]

00:27:12   you got ants all right I said yeah how [TS]

00:27:15   much how much you get rid of the ants [TS]

00:27:17   and he was like well it's a 275 dollar [TS]

00:27:21   process uh and I was like fine you know [TS]

00:27:27   what you're here i'm not going to [TS]

00:27:28   comparison shop i'm not going to send [TS]

00:27:30   you away get rid of the ants and like [TS]

00:27:34   like let's let's get this happening the [TS]

00:27:36   ants have been driving me crazy all [TS]

00:27:38   summer and so he pulls out this [TS]

00:27:40   paperwork and he's like all right well [TS]

00:27:41   let's get you signed up for a plan i'll [TS]

00:27:44   come on i was like what what you're [TS]

00:27:47   you're an exterminator like you either [TS]

00:27:49   you got dirt on the knees your pants [TS]

00:27:51   what would talk about what's right there [TS]

00:27:52   in the name once you get rid of the [TS]

00:27:53   answer i don't need a plan [TS]

00:27:54   he says answer really hard to get rid of [TS]

00:27:57   usually what happens is we kill the ants [TS]

00:28:00   then they come back always helping you [TS]

00:28:02   and if you if we signed up for a plan [TS]

00:28:04   that every time we come back it's just a [TS]

00:28:06   $79 charge but if we don't if we don't [TS]

00:28:10   send you up for a plan then every time [TS]

00:28:12   we come back you have to charge $300 [TS]

00:28:14   again and I was like so what's the plan [TS]

00:28:17   he was like well the plan is for forty [TS]

00:28:18   nine dollars a month we keep the ants [TS]

00:28:21   out for good [TS]

00:28:23   I was like soon so every six months i'm [TS]

00:28:28   paying for a visit essentially i pay you [TS]

00:28:30   forty nine dollars a month forever or [TS]

00:28:33   until at what point do you feel like [TS]

00:28:35   it's cut you you are confident that they [TS]

00:28:37   won't come back and he's like well ants [TS]

00:28:39   are really hard to eradicate [TS]

00:28:41   and I was like listen man i did not i [TS]

00:28:45   had you here to kill Samantha I did not [TS]

00:28:47   think I was joining a club or or a cult [TS]

00:28:51   or whatever whatever you think whatever [TS]

00:28:54   kind of thing this is like a plan [TS]

00:28:56   seriously you think i'm going to sign up [TS]

00:28:58   and have you just like auto deduct 50 [TS]

00:29:02   bucks a month and and you hope that I [TS]

00:29:04   forget about it [TS]

00:29:05   I mean that's what they all do that's [TS]

00:29:07   that that's the whole business model now [TS]

00:29:09   half of american companies their [TS]

00:29:11   business model is let's hope they've [TS]

00:29:12   let's hope they sign up for direct pay [TS]

00:29:14   and forget about i think yeah I think [TS]

00:29:16   recurring revenue is really huge [TS]

00:29:17   incorporate in there yeah right so i [TS]

00:29:21   would just sit here like a like a you [TS]

00:29:23   know like a milk cow for the next 20 [TS]

00:29:26   years while this company is just like oh [TS]

00:29:29   you know we have you just 50 bucks a [TS]

00:29:32   month in the hands never come back and [TS]

00:29:34   I'm like wow I'm so lucky it's just like [TS]

00:29:38   so the guy killed the ants [TS]

00:29:40   it's been two weeks i haven't seen aunt [TS]

00:29:42   but i'm starting to wonder whether the [TS]

00:29:45   ants aren't but there's not i mean i [TS]

00:29:47   wouldn't be I wouldn't be surprised to [TS]

00:29:49   catch that guy in my bushes with the [TS]

00:29:50   bucket advanced yeah I'm answer [TS]

00:29:54   complicated problem John nobody really [TS]

00:29:56   knows where it's come from i went out [TS]

00:29:59   the other day and there were ants I saw [TS]

00:30:01   hive advance in my I saw hi Vance in my [TS]

00:30:08   driveway and I went in the house it was [TS]

00:30:10   that they were the same lands when in [TS]

00:30:12   the House very patiently put the mail in [TS]

00:30:14   my mail jar i put the keys in the key [TS]

00:30:18   cup took my coat off took my shoes off [TS]

00:30:23   put on my loafers put on my cardigan [TS]

00:30:25   sweater went into the kitchen boiled a [TS]

00:30:30   pot of boiling water [TS]

00:30:33   when the water was boiling hot I carried [TS]

00:30:35   it out into the driveway and I poured [TS]

00:30:38   the boiling water down the and whole uu [TS]

00:30:44   she should offer to do that for other [TS]

00:30:45   people it was fifty dollars a month it [TS]

00:30:48   was total carnage [TS]

00:30:49   I'll i heard good i heard a million [TS]

00:30:51   souls screaming out all at once [TS]

00:30:54   yeah and then go silent and I I felt no [TS]

00:30:58   remorse i felt only at Pikeville only [TS]

00:31:02   piece we were driving back from my [TS]

00:31:06   sister-in-law's yesterday and listening [TS]

00:31:08   we listen to pretend to fall all the way [TS]

00:31:09   through and at some point turned around [TS]

00:31:11   and said why don't you know that that's [TS]

00:31:13   that's Uncle John you should just know [TS]

00:31:15   that in my household you are known for [TS]

00:31:17   doing something podcasting with me she [TS]

00:31:19   knows that my daughter and you know we [TS]

00:31:22   played your records a lot but mainly [TS]

00:31:24   what she knows you for something that [TS]

00:31:26   she can recite from memory which is also [TS]

00:31:28   sometimes say so what are we going to do [TS]

00:31:29   and she says you go outside and take off [TS]

00:31:31   your clothes and throw garbage can [TS]

00:31:33   through the window and you set the place [TS]

00:31:34   on fire haha that that that is what you [TS]

00:31:37   are known for that but that is your [TS]

00:31:39   claim to fame in our home but your [TS]

00:31:45   reason I'm right we went to that place [TS]

00:31:47   that I when you first suggested that as [TS]

00:31:50   a palliative for dealing with the stuff [TS]

00:31:54   on her burger last time we went to that [TS]

00:31:56   place here in our neighborhood to get [TS]

00:31:57   her a burger i said i looked and looked [TS]

00:32:00   in the woman's eyes said I said this is [TS]

00:32:04   my daughter she's five [TS]

00:32:05   it's very very important that when you [TS]

00:32:07   make her burger it have exactly three [TS]

00:32:09   things on it it should have some bread [TS]

00:32:11   in the form of a bunt it should have a [TS]

00:32:13   meat burger and should have cheese and [TS]

00:32:15   there should be absolutely nothing else [TS]

00:32:17   on there that's it and then of course [TS]

00:32:19   daughter indicated to her what would [TS]

00:32:22   happen if they got her she said that [TS]

00:32:25   yeah she says or we're gonna go outside [TS]

00:32:27   take off our clothes for garbage can [TS]

00:32:29   through the window and set the place on [TS]

00:32:30   fire haha i said nah she's not really [TS]

00:32:34   gonna do know who kids say the darndest [TS]

00:32:37   things you know the thing about stories [TS]

00:32:38   John you know we get to tell our own [TS]

00:32:40   story for a while but if the story is [TS]

00:32:42   really good eventually it's not our own [TS]

00:32:43   more it becomes somebody else's story [TS]

00:32:45   that's right it goes out into the stream [TS]

00:32:47   down or returns worms we've got analysts [TS]

00:32:53   right think they're animals at the [TS]

00:32:55   phylum get worms she got ants I think I [TS]

00:32:58   just morally in biology [TS]

00:33:00   I find that hard to believe oh my [TS]

00:33:02   goodness i was telling my lady today how [TS]

00:33:04   when I was in seventh grade was a [TS]

00:33:05   military school I have perfect grades [TS]

00:33:07   and perfect department had straight a's [TS]

00:33:09   like a lot of people and I had was the [TS]

00:33:10   only person in my entire company in [TS]

00:33:12   military school that didn't have a [TS]

00:33:13   demerit all year [TS]

00:33:14   wow yeah whatever this really hundred [TS]

00:33:17   twenty kids or something yeah you're [TS]

00:33:18   born again hard mmm i was scared and I [TS]

00:33:22   was yeah and then i went to consumer [TS]

00:33:24   math in 8th grade and so it's pretty [TS]

00:33:25   much all downhill from there [TS]

00:33:27   you know I reflect often on my my cadet [TS]

00:33:31   years in the Civil Air Patrol and and I [TS]

00:33:37   you know I think they're there were [TS]

00:33:38   there were a couple of points along the [TS]

00:33:40   way where I could have right my life [TS]

00:33:43   could have gone a very different route [TS]

00:33:44   but but uh you know I was in the Civil [TS]

00:33:50   Air Patrol in Alaska in the seventies [TS]

00:33:52   and most of the facilities that we were [TS]

00:33:55   afforded by the air force at the time [TS]

00:33:58   were either built well generally had [TS]

00:34:03   been built in world war two like we that [TS]

00:34:06   if the Air Force built a new building [TS]

00:34:07   they moved into it and they abandoned [TS]

00:34:10   the old world war two building and then [TS]

00:34:12   the Civil Air Patrol was you know given [TS]

00:34:13   access to these kind of shabby places [TS]

00:34:16   and so there was that kind of weird [TS]

00:34:18   military mothball smell to everything [TS]

00:34:21   and a kind of you know like the doors [TS]

00:34:25   all shut really solidly but there was a [TS]

00:34:28   sense there was a sense that there was [TS]

00:34:31   black mold in the walls and it did not [TS]

00:34:35   none of it filled me with a feeling that [TS]

00:34:38   the that that pursuing a career in the [TS]

00:34:42   military was like going to be a safe and [TS]

00:34:45   developing environment you know what I [TS]

00:34:47   mean it was it felt very it was always [TS]

00:34:50   very cold in those places and [TS]

00:34:53   not unfriendly but but like [TS]

00:34:55   disinterested that was the thing being [TS]

00:34:58   on a military base as a as a as a young [TS]

00:35:01   kid or as a as a person in his early [TS]

00:35:03   teens the they were completely [TS]

00:35:06   disinterested in me in my thoughts in [TS]

00:35:12   who I was like I was being judged [TS]

00:35:14   entirely on how on you know obviously [TS]

00:35:17   done on the conformity how well you know [TS]

00:35:21   my department exactly as you say and I [TS]

00:35:27   didn't i guess i didn't whatever it is [TS]

00:35:32   that people find in the military culture [TS]

00:35:35   the-the-the-the like they they want the [TS]

00:35:40   challenge or they you know they want to [TS]

00:35:43   excel or succeed in a realm where [TS]

00:35:46   excellence is measure a bowl [TS]

00:35:49   you know those things were not [TS]

00:35:52   communicated to me in an appealing way [TS]

00:35:54   and I just I just always felt like a [TS]

00:35:58   strange in that environment and I and [TS]

00:36:01   and although i was the biggest military [TS]

00:36:03   like army nutcase as a kid I I didn't [TS]

00:36:12   you know I and and I went into that [TS]

00:36:14   cadet program with this but the real [TS]

00:36:16   passion for it I kind of came out the [TS]

00:36:19   other side not not disillusion but just [TS]

00:36:22   disaffected like it sounds like it [TS]

00:36:24   wasn't a good cultural fit it wasn't and [TS]

00:36:27   that was even before I mean it's not [TS]

00:36:30   like I went to boot camp and said wait a [TS]

00:36:32   minute this where there's no room in [TS]

00:36:34   here for my artistic sensibility you [TS]

00:36:37   know i was i was 12 and I guess I guess [TS]

00:36:42   what it ended up being was that I just [TS]

00:36:44   didn't get off on it and I watched other [TS]

00:36:47   kids really get off on it but I kind of [TS]

00:36:52   you know my dad was a member of another [TS]

00:36:54   organization so you he was a he was a [TS]

00:36:57   colonel in the Civil Air Patrol because [TS]

00:37:00   he was the wing legal officer and that [TS]

00:37:02   entitled him [TS]

00:37:04   believe it or not to wear a white [TS]

00:37:06   turtleneck as its uniform [TS]

00:37:09   well what a white turtleneck with up [TS]

00:37:11   with a blue blazer and like a nothing [TS]

00:37:14   like a kernel of spanish language [TS]

00:37:16   literature it with it was incredible he [TS]

00:37:18   was the only one of everybody else was [TS]

00:37:19   in the Air Force uniforms and he was in [TS]

00:37:21   this white turtleneck with a blue blazer [TS]

00:37:23   and then a crest like a like a I think [TS]

00:37:26   it looks so good in that right an eagle [TS]

00:37:29   grasping a propeller in gold braid on [TS]

00:37:33   his on the pocket of his jacket he would [TS]

00:37:36   it was such a badass but and and you [TS]

00:37:40   know courses wing legal officer like [TS]

00:37:42   everything my dad did he assumed that [TS]

00:37:44   eighty percent of the rules of the [TS]

00:37:47   organization didn't apply to him [TS]

00:37:49   this is emmanuel headed to private train [TS]

00:37:52   car from its employees but my dad was [TS]

00:37:55   also a member of a of a secret [TS]

00:37:57   organization called the quiet Birdman [TS]

00:38:00   the same as much as you can say is this [TS]

00:38:07   aviation-related that's correct the [TS]

00:38:10   quiet Berman was an organization founded [TS]

00:38:12   after World War one [TS]

00:38:15   founded by like former World War one [TS]

00:38:19   fighter aces and it was a group that [TS]

00:38:22   started meeting in some italian [TS]

00:38:24   restaurant in New York City you know in [TS]

00:38:28   and it was a it was a group that you [TS]

00:38:32   could not join you had to be you had to [TS]

00:38:34   be tapped yet to be invited by the [TS]

00:38:37   current membership and then once you [TS]

00:38:39   were tapped you were a life member and I [TS]

00:38:43   think it only costs a dollar to join and [TS]

00:38:46   then you have you were a life member and [TS]

00:38:49   like Eddie Rickenbacker and Charles [TS]

00:38:52   Limburger members and neil armstrong I [TS]

00:38:55   mean it's one of these groups of loud [TS]

00:38:56   Gordon Cooper no one no they don't they [TS]

00:38:59   don't talk about it you're not supposed [TS]

00:39:00   to talk about the quiet Birdman that I [TS]

00:39:02   really cool I keycard to well yeah and I [TS]

00:39:04   so this is the thing I still have my [TS]

00:39:06   dad's all my dad's quiet Birdman stuff [TS]

00:39:09   and I've talked to other children of [TS]

00:39:11   quiet Birdman service Africans who have [TS]

00:39:15   path who have passed on to the next [TS]

00:39:18   dimension of flown into up into the [TS]

00:39:19   clouds and not come down and they have [TS]

00:39:23   they claim that when their fathers died [TS]

00:39:26   someone from the quiet Birdman showed up [TS]

00:39:28   and collected the membership card and [TS]

00:39:31   all their paraphernalia [TS]

00:39:33   Oh [TS]

00:39:34   so that didn't happen in my case and and [TS]

00:39:38   I challenge any listener who is a member [TS]

00:39:42   of the quiet Birdman to try and come get [TS]

00:39:44   it [TS]

00:39:45   we're gonna you're ready to go [TS]

00:39:46   nose-to-nose with the old monitronics [TS]

00:39:48   that's right here ready to be ready [TS]

00:39:50   people if you're ready to deal with with [TS]

00:39:53   the the grab 45-second beeping come at [TS]

00:39:57   me come at me bro what's up [TS]

00:40:01   so quiet permit so my dad would go to [TS]

00:40:03   these quiet Birdman meetings and of [TS]

00:40:05   course in Alaska there are a lot of [TS]

00:40:07   quiet Birdman because that's where old [TS]

00:40:09   astronauts go to retire and he would go [TS]

00:40:12   off to these meetings and I would you [TS]

00:40:13   know was like it was like he was with [TS]

00:40:15   his fraternity i would say you know why [TS]

00:40:17   don't you show me the fight gamma delta [TS]

00:40:18   handshake and he would say never he [TS]

00:40:20   never did I i asked him on his deathbed [TS]

00:40:22   to show me his fraternity handshake and [TS]

00:40:24   he said no chance it for him [TS]

00:40:26   it died with it oh but the quiet Birdman [TS]

00:40:30   he was even more secretive about and I [TS]

00:40:31   was like what happens at those meetings [TS]

00:40:32   he said and we just said get everybody [TS]

00:40:35   out everybody else gets drunk and then [TS]

00:40:36   we all tell dirty jokes and I was like [TS]

00:40:38   really thats he's like pretty much like [TS]

00:40:42   seriously you you you get all dressed up [TS]

00:40:46   and you go off to the secret meeting in [TS]

00:40:47   a hotel somewhere just sit around talk [TS]

00:40:50   dirty jokes with astronauts that I don't [TS]

00:40:53   believe it it doesn't sound like you for [TS]

00:40:54   a second and he was like well it's just [TS]

00:40:56   it's just it's just plausible enough [TS]

00:40:58   that like somebody who wasn't thinking [TS]

00:41:00   about a lot would believe it but I'm [TS]

00:41:02   guessing they were there was a serious [TS]

00:41:03   fucking rock is going on with the quiet [TS]

00:41:05   Bergman well that's what I'm thinking [TS]

00:41:06   too and you know my dad had nothing [TS]

00:41:08   maybe like you can't like a black bag [TS]

00:41:09   type thing like they might have been out [TS]

00:41:10   doing some stuff you know a little many [TS]

00:41:12   missions there were plenty of [TS]

00:41:14   opportunities for him to go sit around [TS]

00:41:15   with drunks and listen to dirty jokes he [TS]

00:41:18   didn't like it i mean that's right he [TS]

00:41:19   did need to go to this this stupid thing [TS]

00:41:21   and then you know the other all the [TS]

00:41:24   other shit that my dad was into I i [TS]

00:41:27   wonder what the quiet Berman were up to [TS]

00:41:28   and the the problem is if you try and [TS]

00:41:30   figure it out you go online it's true [TS]

00:41:33   it's like the it's like the Bohemian [TS]

00:41:36   Grove you get out you get a get a [TS]

00:41:38   glancing overview on the internet like [TS]

00:41:40   oh yeah that's right it's an [TS]

00:41:41   organization and here [TS]

00:41:43   the members and everything else is [TS]

00:41:44   secret so go fuck yourself yeah and you [TS]

00:41:47   go well no seriously what why in the [TS]

00:41:49   hell would warren buffett go sit out in [TS]

00:41:51   the trees with Henry Kissinger for a [TS]

00:41:54   week like what is in it for him [TS]

00:41:56   they're like all we tell dirty stories [TS]

00:41:57   and i'm getting teenager rules i don't [TS]

00:42:00   know i don't know but I'm not buying it [TS]

00:42:02   so i don't but the thing is I but i'm [TS]

00:42:05   i'm i'm scared enough of the [TS]

00:42:07   organization that it's not like i would [TS]

00:42:08   try to impersonate a quiet Birdman no I [TS]

00:42:10   think the average age of course the [TS]

00:42:11   quiet Bergman is probably 84 and they [TS]

00:42:14   would know in an instant [TS]

00:42:16   you know they would it would i'd walk in [TS]

00:42:18   the door and they go hmm what's this a [TS]

00:42:20   flapper an aileron might be like uh and [TS]

00:42:22   they're like that show me your hands [TS]

00:42:24   she'll be here instance that I I'm the [TS]

00:42:27   one the first one in three generations [TS]

00:42:30   to not well as much as i can say is you [TS]

00:42:32   know right now I'm not in any secret [TS]

00:42:34   organizations and my grandfather was in [TS]

00:42:37   scottish rite rite as well as my father [TS]

00:42:40   really really people lay my my my mom [TS]

00:42:45   was in rainbow girls it and her [TS]

00:42:49   let's just say quote unquote boyfriend [TS]

00:42:51   was a figure skater was in demolay and [TS]

00:42:56   they love to dance but know that then [TS]

00:42:59   Saudi male looking very rhythmic people [TS]

00:43:02   he yeah he went over to the other side [TS]

00:43:08   young-hee so so anyway it but it's it's [TS]

00:43:11   really strange the things weird to me is [TS]

00:43:15   that like with secret organizations is [TS]

00:43:16   like you know it's a secret organization [TS]

00:43:18   and you're not allowed to talk about [TS]

00:43:20   stuff but people they still it isn't [TS]

00:43:24   secret enough that like you don't know [TS]

00:43:25   what the logo looks like you know what I [TS]

00:43:27   mean if you're in like for example I I [TS]

00:43:31   think about was before but I had on my [TS]

00:43:33   dad's old lighters on display in my [TS]

00:43:35   office my first job I had a private [TS]

00:43:36   office with all you know that decorated [TS]

00:43:38   so I had like 15 really cool lighters is [TS]

00:43:41   lighter from Korea and stuff like that [TS]

00:43:42   and one of them had the you know the [TS]

00:43:45   symbol with the compass around the the g [TS]

00:43:47   in it mmm know what is that that's [TS]

00:43:49   Freemasons that nothing that's the [TS]

00:43:50   Freemasons yeah yeah so [TS]

00:43:53   and a guy a local printer came in to [TS]

00:43:55   talk about a job we were getting time he [TS]

00:43:57   comes anyone going I mean brown and [TS]

00:43:59   written or two up and better [TS]

00:44:00   productivity goes are you a Mason said [TS]

00:44:08   no no I dad died I've got his lighter is [TS]

00:44:11   like you thinking about coming to Mason [TS]

00:44:15   who ok but he he said it like he was [TS]

00:44:20   like he was offered me a lollipop in a [TS]

00:44:21   white van and and I was like umm hmm now [TS]

00:44:25   I not you know it's nothing I've ever a [TS]

00:44:30   slide his card across my desk and says [TS]

00:44:32   you will let me know when you're ready [TS]

00:44:35   to become a man [TS]

00:44:36   wow i'm still not ready still not a man [TS]

00:44:42   nope but not buried the lighter i don't [TS]

00:44:45   want to eat haha [TS]

00:44:48   the thing about the military you know I [TS]

00:44:50   had a guy in sixth grade a year before I [TS]

00:44:52   did military so I think the only thing [TS]

00:44:53   that made military school appealing to [TS]

00:44:55   me was maybe some some some teen [TS]

00:44:59   comedies I'd scene involving you know [TS]

00:45:01   military school and a book i got on the [TS]

00:45:04   library and 6th grade on West Point and [TS]

00:45:09   I it was it all seemed extremely orderly [TS]

00:45:13   i learned how to make Hospital corners [TS]

00:45:15   I learned on it i was really into it for [TS]

00:45:17   a while right corner on your bed I did I [TS]

00:45:20   tell you I knew exactly like that little [TS]

00:45:22   how long the flaps should be at the top [TS]

00:45:23   etcetera etcetera etcetera and today I'm [TS]

00:45:24   a push pick you know I can barely find [TS]

00:45:26   work on my desk to put the mic to [TS]

00:45:28   deliver short-sheeting guys bed now I [TS]

00:45:30   was aware of the technology but I never [TS]

00:45:31   deployed it [TS]

00:45:32   this is this is the thing I have you [TS]

00:45:34   know when I was in the Civil Air Patrol [TS]

00:45:35   he doesn't seem like it would work it's [TS]

00:45:37   just who doesn't look in their bed but [TS]

00:45:40   we short-sheeted people's beds all the [TS]

00:45:43   time and your bed you know you like you [TS]

00:45:46   pull it pull open the sheets and it's [TS]

00:45:49   not like it's not like it catches you [TS]

00:45:50   where you like you you go to slide into [TS]

00:45:53   your bed guy like Molly inconvenience me [TS]

00:45:56   yeah but you know you pull open your [TS]

00:45:58   sheets and that are it's not a bet it's [TS]

00:46:00   an envelope [TS]

00:46:01   I mean it and it was hilarious and I [TS]

00:46:03   learned I learned this technology when I [TS]

00:46:05   when I was 12 years old [TS]

00:46:07   12-13 years old and I have never in the [TS]

00:46:10   rest of my life 30-odd years since then [TS]

00:46:13   I've never had the opportunity to [TS]

00:46:14   short-sheet somebody's bed and i'm [TS]

00:46:16   always looking for it all right because [TS]

00:46:18   who makes their bed like those cruises [TS]

00:46:21   that sheets right can you short-sheet [TS]

00:46:24   jonathan coulton is bad i guess i guess [TS]

00:46:26   i could if i could get into his room but [TS]

00:46:28   I mean all those room everybody's got a [TS]

00:46:29   keycard you think he'd be frustrated i [TS]

00:46:32   think that he would I think he might get [TS]

00:46:34   lucky he might have a moment of [TS]

00:46:35   reflection for like 150 would I think he [TS]

00:46:37   would think about that for awhile i want [TS]

00:46:39   more about how somebody got my room [TS]

00:46:40   probably [TS]

00:46:41   well that that's the thing i think i [TS]

00:46:43   think it would be most effective on Paul [TS]

00:46:45   sabores bed but but but but like this it [TS]

00:46:49   seems unfair it seems like [TS]

00:46:51   short-sheeting once you learn it you [TS]

00:46:53   should be able to use it the rest of [TS]

00:46:56   your life and this is just like I still [TS]

00:46:59   think about it I me but you know what [TS]

00:47:00   I'm gonna miss Cruz this cruise this [TS]

00:47:03   year I'm a minute's get look for the [TS]

00:47:05   opportunity to short-sheet simple I know [TS]

00:47:07   you're going through a transitional [TS]

00:47:08   phase i'm just gonna talk with are [TS]

00:47:09   probably end up cutting this out but i [TS]

00:47:11   just want to say you have so far today [TS]

00:47:12   you have revealed the brand name of your [TS]

00:47:15   home security system you indicated that [TS]

00:47:17   you have let's be honest purloined quiet [TS]

00:47:20   Birdman credentials and now you're [TS]

00:47:22   talking about what kinds of pranks [TS]

00:47:24   you're going to deploy you you might [TS]

00:47:25   want to think about playing a little bit [TS]

00:47:27   closer to the vest [TS]

00:47:28   well I'm do I feel like I feel like it's [TS]

00:47:30   maybe open book season for me [TS]

00:47:32   good for you like this business of the [TS]

00:47:34   the guy saying when you're ready to be a [TS]

00:47:35   man [TS]

00:47:36   I do feel like there was some important [TS]

00:47:39   moment important moment in the fifties [TS]

00:47:42   montage of my young life where I should [TS]

00:47:45   have gone through some kind of fraternal [TS]

00:47:47   hazing where we're peers slightly older [TS]

00:47:51   dressed in robes paddled me or put hot [TS]

00:47:56   wax on me or made me perform some kind [TS]

00:47:58   of ritualistic nothing just that weekend [TS]

00:48:03   in Germany [TS]

00:48:04   well you yeah except that the the [TS]

00:48:06   germany that I experienced that was all [TS]

00:48:08   by myself i wasn't i was in that was in [TS]

00:48:10   these hallowed halls but there was [TS]

00:48:11   nobody there to drip hot wax what do you [TS]

00:48:13   think you aren't uh it's your father [TS]

00:48:15   obviously walk down some very secret [TS]

00:48:17   corridors of power [TS]

00:48:18   why do you think you were not drawn into [TS]

00:48:19   these organs [TS]

00:48:20   protecting you no no I think it I think [TS]

00:48:23   that it was clear from the beginning [TS]

00:48:25   that i was to lippy as my dad would say [TS]

00:48:30   you to lippy and which makes ass to [TS]

00:48:35   mouth [TS]

00:48:36   yeah by which he meant like like the [TS]

00:48:41   presumption of somebody who talks as [TS]

00:48:44   like as much and as floridly as i do and [TS]

00:48:50   did I is that I'm not you know I'm not [TS]

00:48:54   stoic enough not the you know not John [TS]

00:49:03   McCain e-enough although I guess he was [TS]

00:49:06   a he was a challenge so you're kind of [TS]

00:49:08   not strictly speaking a team player not [TS]

00:49:11   a team player [TS]

00:49:12   that's right now you're against the team [TS]

00:49:14   but they're not ready to know there's no [TS]

00:49:16   John and team [TS]

00:49:17   I mean I definitely wouldn't leave a man [TS]

00:49:19   behind no but I'm also not i mean if [TS]

00:49:22   somebody seriously if I was being [TS]

00:49:24   interrogated in a in a foreign prison I [TS]

00:49:29   would just instinctively have a lot more [TS]

00:49:31   to say a lot more I wanted to say than [TS]

00:49:34   just my name rank and serial number [TS]

00:49:36   you know what I mean like that seemed so [TS]

00:49:38   limiting and maybe some of the things i [TS]

00:49:41   would say would be obfuscating maybe it [TS]

00:49:44   would appear oh maybe I would create a [TS]

00:49:46   hole and create a whole mind picture in [TS]

00:49:49   my interrogators a little notebook where [TS]

00:49:53   he would be you know they'd be still did [TS]

00:49:55   they be teasing out all the the hidden [TS]

00:49:57   meanings for years I don't think you can [TS]

00:50:00   under you can understate a 20-minute I [TS]

00:50:04   don't think you can overstate the value [TS]

00:50:06   of someone who appears to be cracking [TS]

00:50:11   under pressure and flooding them with [TS]

00:50:15   misinformation also get double reverse [TS]

00:50:17   mindfuck and that would be me I mean I'm [TS]

00:50:19   no i'm not going to the game [TS]

00:50:20   participation you tend to crack under [TS]

00:50:22   pressure [TS]

00:50:23   yeah standard attention to that would [TS]

00:50:25   definitely pretend pretend to crack [TS]

00:50:27   under pressure the problem is then they [TS]

00:50:28   go they try to get some of this stuff [TS]

00:50:30   like it you gotta give them some real [TS]

00:50:33   information [TS]

00:50:33   didn't you gotta give him the easy steps [TS]

00:50:36   got to be real so that they can go can [TS]

00:50:38   go ahead and say like oh well he must be [TS]

00:50:40   telling the truth so until they haven't [TS]

00:50:41   used that thing in months back way [TS]

00:50:43   uh-huh and then you know I I mean I feel [TS]

00:50:47   like there's there's always been a role [TS]

00:50:49   for me in America's intelligence [TS]

00:50:50   services but they have this that they're [TS]

00:50:53   so fixated on like have you ever done [TS]

00:50:56   drugs like what do you all you're gonna [TS]

00:51:00   get is squares if that's your the fact [TS]

00:51:03   that your lips I've been holding off [TS]

00:51:05   saying it John because i don't want to [TS]

00:51:07   do anything to you know I don't hurt [TS]

00:51:08   your feelings but if you ever wondered [TS]

00:51:10   if maybe that was just something to [TS]

00:51:12   scare off the people who are really [TS]

00:51:13   serious because again I mean I really [TS]

00:51:16   we've covered this a little in the past [TS]

00:51:18   but I i think being somebody who's found [TS]

00:51:21   new levels of rock bottom might be just [TS]

00:51:23   the sort of person you would want a [TS]

00:51:24   certain very particular kind of mission [TS]

00:51:26   know maybe you're not going to go into [TS]

00:51:27   like Bosnia and give out frosted flakes [TS]

00:51:30   but you know you there might be [TS]

00:51:32   something extremely specific and you [TS]

00:51:33   know with all the NSA information stuff [TS]

00:51:35   there this might be actually unique [TS]

00:51:36   opportunity right now people would know [TS]

00:51:38   exactly what kind of mission you would [TS]

00:51:39   be right for you still want to do it [TS]

00:51:40   today [TS]

00:51:41   well this is the problem that the as [TS]

00:51:43   soon as I became familiar with the idea [TS]

00:51:45   that there were agents and then those [TS]

00:51:48   there were operated on for stripes i'm [TS]

00:51:53   gonna get so many letters that's enough [TS]

00:51:56   I don't want to be run by somebody else [TS]

00:51:59   I mean you know maybe yeah sure somebody [TS]

00:52:02   like maybe director of operations but I [TS]

00:52:06   want to reply i don't want to be I don't [TS]

00:52:08   want to be an asset [TS]

00:52:09   you know I mean I'm nobody's fucking [TS]

00:52:11   assets on my own asset and this is the [TS]

00:52:15   problem i don't want to be recruited by [TS]

00:52:17   some dingaling at you know and not have [TS]

00:52:20   the full picture and just be out you [TS]

00:52:23   have to really be a company man you [TS]

00:52:25   would really have to give yourself a [TS]

00:52:26   first of all a lot of its just gonna be [TS]

00:52:28   extremely tedious a letter at the safe [TS]

00:52:31   house for four years and then all of a [TS]

00:52:32   sudden you're your digital watch beeps [TS]

00:52:35   three times and you're like huh [TS]

00:52:37   just as like somebody blows the door and [TS]

00:52:40   that's your signal to go watch something [TS]

00:52:41   with binoculars for two years but you [TS]

00:52:44   think I mean if you actually get a lot [TS]

00:52:45   of what that stuff is here here's the [TS]

00:52:48   thing a lot of these secret [TS]

00:52:49   organizations like the quiet Birdman the [TS]

00:52:52   Freemasons their kind of dying on the [TS]

00:52:54   vine that get those guys are that they [TS]

00:52:56   they were not successful at recruiting a [TS]

00:52:58   new generation but what if we started [TS]

00:53:01   kind of like our our our guest house [TS]

00:53:05   hostel for snipers for snipers what if [TS]

00:53:10   we started a secret organization that [TS]

00:53:14   was actually an intelligence service [TS]

00:53:17   like a civilian intelligence service [TS]

00:53:20   sort of a Halliburton but of of like [TS]

00:53:27   made up entirely of british guys with [TS]

00:53:30   explosives in their suitcases and like [TS]

00:53:32   renegade kind of Captain Haddock style [TS]

00:53:36   surly retired retired agents that never [TS]

00:53:42   were actually employed but that's like [TS]

00:53:47   perfect fit [TS]

00:53:48   you don't really think so it could be [TS]

00:53:50   it's not governmental in nature right [TS]

00:53:52   it's it's not strictly private nature [TS]

00:53:54   it's my private nature is obviously it's [TS]

00:53:56   got to be as extreme secrecy maintain [TS]

00:53:59   its all about it's all about different [TS]

00:54:01   levels of clearance different you know [TS]

00:54:04   that he get all the spy craft all the [TS]

00:54:07   tunnel digging in the fake IDs [TS]

00:54:09   counterfeit money [TS]

00:54:11   the false passports the you know the [TS]

00:54:14   like all the all the snow the spy craft [TS]

00:54:17   but without maybe expertise or danger [TS]

00:54:25   yes I think it's a great idea i don't [TS]

00:54:27   have a facebook group or sell t-shirts [TS]

00:54:28   but it's something where I think it's [TS]

00:54:30   something a lot of people late in life [TS]

00:54:31   would be interested in i think a lot of [TS]

00:54:33   us have made these I'm gonna say fits [TS]

00:54:35   the fifth or sixth grade [TS]

00:54:36   the guy had a variety of these [TS]

00:54:37   organizations alright spend a lot of [TS]

00:54:40   time coming up with work charts deciding [TS]

00:54:42   you know who is going to be vice [TS]

00:54:43   president under me and stuff like that [TS]

00:54:45   but at ya and certainly I have to think [TS]

00:54:47   that it would be something I don't know [TS]

00:54:49   like an 18 type thing where because of [TS]

00:54:51   our various connections in our various [TS]

00:54:53   industries that were involved and we [TS]

00:54:54   would know people who need help right [TS]

00:54:56   you young people you you would actually [TS]

00:54:58   be able and it will be like a reverse [TS]

00:54:59   business [TS]

00:55:00   hey we wouldn't you know we would not be [TS]

00:55:02   advertising the yellow pages but we [TS]

00:55:03   could go to people and say you you need [TS]

00:55:06   a little bit of help [TS]

00:55:07   yeah from the Roderick group right from [TS]

00:55:09   the Roderick group I like things like [TS]

00:55:12   that so much i cannot tell anything [TS]

00:55:15   about what they do [TS]

00:55:16   yeah and the business card just says the [TS]

00:55:18   robbery group like me and the rand [TS]

00:55:20   corporation doesn't rain corporation [TS]

00:55:21   sound like they make cogs the other ran [TS]

00:55:24   the the RAND Corporation for a long time [TS]

00:55:26   I thought they made crackers router and [TS]

00:55:31   curve and then I realized all the other [TS]

00:55:33   end crew the rand corporation is this [TS]

00:55:35   like fully Illuminati I wonder how long [TS]

00:55:38   the robbery group would have to be an [TS]

00:55:39   operation before the Illuminati [TS]

00:55:41   contacted us but for like an acquisition [TS]

00:55:44   or merger or just or just you know [TS]

00:55:46   initially to feel this out see below [TS]

00:55:48   royal actually blocking us out because [TS]

00:55:50   we were usually are you seeing like [TS]

00:55:52   what's involved it's just somebody to [TS]

00:55:53   take seriously it's just somebody's [TS]

00:55:55   family we need to take to Brazil or [TS]

00:55:56   something right and then when they [TS]

00:55:58   realize that we're that where an [TS]

00:56:00   imminently serious organization with a [TS]

00:56:02   great font and and you know really [TS]

00:56:05   nice-looking flowcharts and that would [TS]

00:56:07   be really important today it's a very it [TS]

00:56:09   to the Millennials are very visual [TS]

00:56:11   I don't need that we would need a great [TS]

00:56:12   logo and and and yeah person alex a way [TS]

00:56:16   from facebook i'm gonna count anymore [TS]

00:56:18   you have to manage that we are something [TS]

00:56:20   that division bad at that I love helping [TS]

00:56:22   people though i would say this is [TS]

00:56:24   chapter for a long long time I really [TS]

00:56:27   felt when I want to search my feelings [TS]

00:56:28   this is the thing so you know sometimes [TS]

00:56:30   late at night i sit down i sit down [TS]

00:56:33   indian style or what's the what's the [TS]

00:56:36   non-offensive what's the politically [TS]

00:56:37   correct Native American stuff native [TS]

00:56:40   american-style but I bet it but I [TS]

00:56:41   thought it was dot Indian not Indian [TS]

00:56:43   style is dot indian or is that will [TS]

00:56:46   Indian [TS]

00:56:46   like dot en mi the dot dot yet top-level [TS]

00:56:52   IM yeah okay dot biz [TS]

00:56:55   no you know I sit down and I and I and I [TS]

00:56:58   and I and I focus on my third eye and I [TS]

00:57:00   say what am I here for [TS]

00:57:02   I've gotten a lot of conflicting [TS]

00:57:03   messages over the years retired from [TS]

00:57:05   from yourself [TS]

00:57:06   yeah that's right for myself to retire [TS]

00:57:08   director of CIA was I didn't think it [TS]

00:57:10   was a false flag for a long time [TS]

00:57:12   my mind is trying to tell me something [TS]

00:57:14   that that that just wasn't possible but [TS]

00:57:16   what I was really getting at was and I [TS]

00:57:19   think we may have mentioned this to you [TS]

00:57:21   before when the UFOs come they are going [TS]

00:57:26   to need a human envoy we're gonna need [TS]

00:57:31   someone to represent humanity that has [TS]

00:57:34   everyone's best interests at heart you [TS]

00:57:37   know they think they can pick somebody [TS]

00:57:39   from the united nations are from the [TS]

00:57:41   internet or the United States certainly [TS]

00:57:42   I mean you know the cable channel all [TS]

00:57:44   those people are compromised [TS]

00:57:46   they're all compromised and the thing is [TS]

00:57:47   the UFOs I I'm fairly confident have [TS]

00:57:51   have vetted me completely now with the [TS]

00:57:53   with the vowel ambassadors and I feel [TS]

00:57:57   like it's all part of the application [TS]

00:57:58   process of gradual slow you know as I as [TS]

00:58:02   I build more and more people that are [TS]

00:58:03   that you know that understanding my word [TS]

00:58:06   is bond [TS]

00:58:07   it is it's all in service of this this [TS]

00:58:12   you know this i'm going to this future [TS]

00:58:14   calling where they they arrived right [TS]

00:58:16   and there's a third suddenly just as you [TS]

00:58:18   see it as you've seen so many times [TS]

00:58:20   giant motherships hovering over all [TS]

00:58:22   Earth's all the capitals of the earth [TS]

00:58:24   and everyone in singapore and everyone [TS]

00:58:26   in st. Petersburg that all run outside [TS]

00:58:28   and they're looking up in here these [TS]

00:58:29   inscrutable you know humming mother [TS]

00:58:33   ships and there's a couple of days where [TS]

00:58:36   everybody freaks out but there's no [TS]

00:58:37   communication from them it's just like [TS]

00:58:40   what do they want what they want and the [TS]

00:58:42   f-16s go up but they the vaporized or or [TS]

00:58:47   even know that just the instruments go [TS]

00:58:48   haywire nobody's hurt right limb the [TS]

00:58:51   planes land under their own power guided [TS]

00:58:54   by unseen hand [TS]

00:58:57   and and just as you know just as as [TS]

00:59:00   everyone is just as all the world's [TS]

00:59:02   governments and all of our technology [TS]

00:59:03   are revealed to be impotent against [TS]

00:59:06   these superior phones than all the [TS]

00:59:08   television sets and all the radios all [TS]

00:59:10   crackle at once and they all come on and [TS]

00:59:12   they're all it's all uh it's all just [TS]

00:59:15   sort of a green screen and then and then [TS]

00:59:17   my face [TS]

00:59:19   Boop translated translated into all the [TS]

00:59:23   languages of the earth which I speak [TS]

00:59:24   fluently because of the because the [TS]

00:59:27   babelfish that's been put inside mine if [TS]

00:59:29   you put like by the collarbone keep a [TS]

00:59:31   little implant does have a double [TS]

00:59:33   fishing implant and I say people of [TS]

00:59:35   Earth [TS]

00:59:36   hello i am a fellow earthling i have [TS]

00:59:40   been charged with this task and be able [TS]

00:59:43   to ask to speak on behalf of the roof [TS]

00:59:46   owes who have come in peace and they [TS]

00:59:50   seem threatening but they assure me they [TS]

00:59:53   are not and so as the speaker now for [TS]

00:59:58   them and speaker [TS]

00:59:58   them and speaker [TS]

01:00:00   of us to them send me your questions in [TS]

01:00:04   self-addressed stamped envelopes to the [TS]

01:00:07   Roderick group dot biz for some reason I [TS]

01:00:11   keep thinking of a I know you're crazy [TS]

01:00:13   about the opening music there will be [TS]

01:00:14   blood imagine the scene when Daniel goes [TS]

01:00:18   back out and he's going he goes to the [TS]

01:00:20   guy anyways start buying land and he [TS]

01:00:22   wants to find out what's available what [TS]

01:00:23   parcels with this person is going to [TS]

01:00:25   need to do that who's holding out [TS]

01:00:27   I I know it's not exactly equivalent but [TS]

01:00:29   I kind of see you in that position where [TS]

01:00:32   you're kind of the real estate agent for [TS]

01:00:33   earth day would come in there or hearts [TS]

01:00:35   and minds right you did they come to you [TS]

01:00:37   and you're able to give them the lay of [TS]

01:00:39   the land so everybody gets paid and [TS]

01:00:41   hopefully not vaporize story instrument [TS]

01:00:44   screwed up but you would be able to act [TS]

01:00:45   both ways between them that the biggest [TS]

01:00:47   problem I think you having credibility [TS]

01:00:48   with aliens is a foregone conclusion but [TS]

01:00:51   how would you how would you would you [TS]

01:00:53   feel like you needed to build that [TS]

01:00:54   credibility [TS]

01:00:55   these are the Earthlings before you got [TS]

01:00:57   the go-ahead for you think UFOs here's [TS]

01:01:00   the thing [TS]

01:01:01   what what Earthlings would recognize in [TS]

01:01:03   me automatic it you know instantaneously [TS]

01:01:05   is that I'm a straight shooter right and [TS]

01:01:08   so the the ufos often have to appear to [TS]

01:01:12   humans in the form of their dead [TS]

01:01:15   father's something they would understand [TS]

01:01:17   right but in my case that the they [TS]

01:01:21   recognize that they can appear to me in [TS]

01:01:22   their natural state and i will [TS]

01:01:24   comprehend even if it even if their [TS]

01:01:26   natural state is just a you know energy [TS]

01:01:29   ether or a bean pot or whatever it is [TS]

01:01:32   that the aliens are in their natural [TS]

01:01:35   environment maybe it's a train on a sort [TS]

01:01:39   of a transdimensional z28 or whatever [TS]

01:01:45   whatever it is not a dance haha if [TS]

01:01:49   they're ants I'm gonna have some [TS]

01:01:51   splainin to do but they surely they [TS]

01:01:53   already know and maybe that's why maybe [TS]

01:01:55   that's why they're sending me these [TS]

01:01:56   encoded messages because they recognize [TS]

01:01:58   that i'm not i'm not a patsy maybe you [TS]

01:02:02   know that such a lonely job though the [TS]

01:02:04   MS the emissary between Gerald's [TS]

01:02:06   ultimately would be but that is the kind [TS]

01:02:08   of sacrifice and prepared to make for my [TS]

01:02:09   people and I think the citizens of earth [TS]

01:02:11   would would you know I [TS]

01:02:12   say you're referring to the Earthlings [TS]

01:02:14   as your paper things right i would say [TS]

01:02:15   Earthlings listen with we don't have a [TS]

01:02:18   lot of bargaining room here because like [TS]

01:02:22   they they have superior technology and [TS]

01:02:24   they've really caught us with our pants [TS]

01:02:26   down but you know I'm counting on them [TS]

01:02:30   having a sense of humor and I'm counting [TS]

01:02:32   on them you know recognizing that that [TS]

01:02:35   that we we have lots to offer were good [TS]

01:02:37   dancers we we have students lots of [TS]

01:02:41   different spicy food and I'm gonna give [TS]

01:02:45   him a tour of some you know some cool [TS]

01:02:46   spots that i've seen over the years i'm [TS]

01:02:48   gonna take them into the medina and fez [TS]

01:02:51   and show him around a lot of spices in [TS]

01:02:53   there a lot of thought of good sights [TS]

01:02:55   and smells you know like come tour guide [TS]

01:02:58   like like a love boat style [TS]

01:03:02   ok so part of it is you're like this [TS]

01:03:04   your earth's Milton so you're gonna go [TS]

01:03:06   up and you're gonna explain the way the [TS]

01:03:08   ways of humans to to the UFOs help help [TS]

01:03:12   them understand how to use facebook and [TS]

01:03:14   things like that [TS]

01:03:14   yeah i'm gonna say listen you maybe you [TS]

01:03:16   you may have arrived here thinking that [TS]

01:03:18   you're gonna mind the molten platinum [TS]

01:03:19   core of our planet and to spoil spoil us [TS]

01:03:24   you're basing this base you know on on [TS]

01:03:28   having watched our television channels [TS]

01:03:31   and you're like space outpost but [TS]

01:03:34   there's a lot more to us than that a [TS]

01:03:35   cable there and I'm gonna say you know [TS]

01:03:39   I'm gonna say listen I'm gonna make a [TS]

01:03:42   white castles lab out of India sacred [TS]

01:03:44   cow just for you [TS]

01:03:47   I'm gonna take you down to Florida [TS]

01:03:48   finished look ya up for pretty cheap [TS]

01:03:54   there now [TS]

01:03:55   places like Nevada been really Florida [TS]

01:03:57   if they could set up operations in [TS]

01:03:58   Florida I'd be okay with that [TS]

01:03:59   the thing is if they change the tides [TS]

01:04:01   even buy a few meters all Florida's [TS]

01:04:05   underwater it's just a sec that's why [TS]

01:04:07   you want buildings that her a foot or [TS]

01:04:09   two above i think that would give you at [TS]

01:04:11   least a couple of centuries of safety [TS]

01:04:12   you can just lift it up like hunter [TS]

01:04:14   buildings are not a bad idea you know [TS]

01:04:17   we're so close to having endless [TS]

01:04:18   renewable energy is it sorry Cloud City [TS]

01:04:23   yeah Cloud City yeah yeah [TS]

01:04:25   precisely you know I think that [TS]

01:04:26   read such so yesterday I threw some [TS]

01:04:28   crumpled aluminum foil in the recycling [TS]

01:04:32   side of my of my bicameral garbage can [TS]

01:04:36   and then it said it had food on it [TS]

01:04:41   matter in it had food matter in it and I [TS]

01:04:45   said listen this super train is not [TS]

01:04:49   going to happen because we wait for it [TS]

01:04:52   it's gonna happen because we start [TS]

01:04:55   throwing food soiled aluminum foil in [TS]

01:04:58   our recycling until they start recycling [TS]

01:05:02   it i'll let you come with me [TS]

01:05:06   that's right oh that's good it's like so [TS]

01:05:08   again back to making your own parade [TS]

01:05:10   except in this case it's got aluminum [TS]

01:05:11   foil with a little bit of meat on it or [TS]

01:05:13   let them put in landfills there's more [TS]

01:05:16   raw aluminum for us when the when the [TS]

01:05:20   crane comes [TS]

01:05:21   look we're gonna roll up to these public [TS]

01:05:23   parks and they're going to be full of [TS]

01:05:25   like fully processed aluminum that for [TS]

01:05:28   whatever reason had a little spaghetti [TS]

01:05:29   sauce on them and were deemed like [TS]

01:05:32   unusable super train is going to fix all [TS]

01:05:35   that tragedy [TS]

01:05:37   I mean in the end it's a good thing but [TS]

01:05:39   you know this is this is how this is how [TS]

01:05:40   evolution works and in technology and [TS]

01:05:42   culture UFOs and trains is that it [TS]

01:05:45   they're really it takes it takes it [TS]

01:05:47   takes somebody with a certain vision to [TS]

01:05:50   be able to see something the way it's [TS]

01:05:51   not i think you have that and that's why [TS]

01:05:55   I think when I really search my feelings [TS]

01:05:58   when I really sit down and say what am I [TS]

01:05:59   here for our director of the CIA maybe [TS]

01:06:02   Bufo envoy absolutely [TS]

01:06:08   and it may already be happened you know [TS]

01:06:10   I mean I may already be part of the [TS]

01:06:12   softening of me that's been that's been [TS]

01:06:15   happening the last couple of months it [TS]

01:06:18   might be that they're just that they [TS]

01:06:21   that they felt like I was just a little [TS]

01:06:22   too acerbic and they're starting to show [TS]

01:06:25   me trying to put obstacles in front of [TS]

01:06:27   me like like security guards and an [TS]

01:06:32   alarm company [TS]

01:06:34   pi just waiting for you get off the [TS]

01:06:36   sugar a little bit so that you're you're [TS]

01:06:38   receptive to their wisdom [TS]

01:06:39   hey so I started trying to do this cheat [TS]

01:06:44   day cheat day by saturday's we're going [TS]

01:06:48   to be a cheat day where I ate like I [TS]

01:06:49   used to eat I would eat I would eat a [TS]

01:06:52   largely carb-free diet all week long and [TS]

01:06:56   then on saturdays I would you know ID [TS]

01:06:58   carbs and I'm telling you now Marlon I [TS]

01:07:02   don't like them now I had a cheat day on [TS]

01:07:05   on saturday and i mean it all tastes [TS]

01:07:07   fine taste pretty good but then I feel [TS]

01:07:11   like shit i feel like shit for three [TS]

01:07:12   days afterwards and i think i think even [TS]

01:07:16   though i have granted myself the the [TS]

01:07:19   cheat day option i think i'm still not [TS]

01:07:22   going to eat wheat on cheat day I can't [TS]

01:07:27   even believe I'm saying this I feel like [TS]

01:07:30   I've become a crazy person I really [TS]

01:07:32   maybe the UFOs are really monkeying with [TS]

01:07:36   me [TS]

01:07:37   well yea year ago if you had said i [TS]

01:07:40   would volunteer you i would give myself [TS]

01:07:41   one day a week where I could eat pasta [TS]

01:07:43   and I wouldn't i would issue it [TS]

01:07:45   uh-huh even on my cheat day at work and [TS]

01:07:48   imagine using the phrase cheat a shit [TS]

01:07:51   day [TS]

01:07:51   listen to me I you know I sound like I [TS]

01:07:54   sound like somebody sound like a guest [TS]

01:07:56   on the dr phil program that something is [TS]

01:07:59   happening to me i don't know what it is [TS]

01:08:01   that they're putting estrogen in my food [TS]

01:08:02   and now this now this beeping alarm [TS]

01:08:07   downstairs is starting to make sense [TS]

01:08:09   it's like you're going to cry are you [TS]

01:08:11   it's some kind of thing therefore the [TS]

01:08:13   green it's all its doing my man what's [TS]

01:08:17   happening i'm starting to crack [TS]

01:08:20   hope I don't want to cheat that you [TS]

01:08:24   could want it [TS]