Roderick on the Line

Ep. 79: "We Are Not Snow Giants"


00:00:00   hello hey John [TS]

00:00:10   hi Merlin has gone man oh man you know [TS]

00:00:19   Beyonce cut her hair [TS]

00:00:20   I think I think actually Beyonce just [TS]

00:00:24   took out her weave [TS]

00:00:26   yeah and and most people don't [TS]

00:00:30   understand that [TS]

00:00:31   beyonce's hair is not normally her real [TS]

00:00:34   hair hbu pretty sure about that [TS]

00:00:37   yeah I'm pretty sure based on beyonce's [TS]

00:00:40   ethnicity who that a blonde Mary Tyler [TS]

00:00:46   Moore hairstyle is not her natural hair [TS]

00:00:49   huh i think it probably is natural hair [TS]

00:00:53   i think it's very expensive hair [TS]

00:00:55   yes but i do not think that it belongs [TS]

00:00:57   to her [TS]

00:00:58   I mean it belongs to her in the sense [TS]

00:01:00   that she is the owner of it inhabits [TS]

00:01:02   their inhabitants but John show business [TS]

00:01:05   you've been around a lot of people you [TS]

00:01:07   you have concerns about ben affleck and [TS]

00:01:08   what's going on his head [TS]

00:01:09   have you met a lot of people with figure [TS]

00:01:11   that no one is a fake I mean it could be [TS]

00:01:14   artificially short or long you can have [TS]

00:01:16   in a bun do I IC IC unreal hair [TS]

00:01:22   sometimes uh but uh um but you know like [TS]

00:01:27   a lot of people brag about their gaydar [TS]

00:01:30   or about their other relationship dars [TS]

00:01:36   mm haired are other relationship dollars [TS]

00:01:40   you can tell somebody's like cheating on [TS]

00:01:41   somebody [TS]

00:01:42   yeah i think so i think there are people [TS]

00:01:44   who claim that they can tell what's [TS]

00:01:46   going on [TS]

00:01:47   they can tell whether someone is [TS]

00:01:48   cheating they can tell whether someone [TS]

00:01:49   is sleeping this on there are varieties [TS]

00:01:51   of dar yes from across the room i have [TS]

00:01:54   had I've been in a situation where I [TS]

00:01:56   have let's say oh I'm going to take this [TS]

00:01:58   into the hypothetical but let's say for [TS]

00:02:00   instance one time I was in a club and [TS]

00:02:04   there [TS]

00:02:04   let's say for instance there were two [TS]

00:02:05   people in the club that I was engaged [TS]

00:02:08   with in bed with [TS]

00:02:11   varying degrees of of seriousness like [TS]

00:02:15   in the present tense we were having some [TS]

00:02:18   kind of acid nations that's real [TS]

00:02:22   hypothetical and the two people in the [TS]

00:02:26   club who had no reason to suspect that [TS]

00:02:29   the other also shared my confidence they [TS]

00:02:34   were aware of one another and commented [TS]

00:02:37   on it they were aware of that they were [TS]

00:02:40   I mean I knew one another but they were [TS]

00:02:41   aware that there was something going on [TS]

00:02:44   and they were both very close at [TS]

00:02:47   pinpointing what was going on [TS]

00:02:49   just based on how they caught each other [TS]

00:02:53   looking at me across a crowded room with [TS]

00:02:57   these ladies they were ladies because [TS]

00:02:59   this is a superpower and i think that [TS]

00:03:02   you know [TS]

00:03:03   oh they're good they're incredible and [TS]

00:03:05   and I was like I'm and I was there in [TS]

00:03:07   the bar the whole night obviously and i [TS]

00:03:09   was watching these people from across [TS]

00:03:11   the room and as far as I could tell [TS]

00:03:13   using all of my special forces training [TS]

00:03:15   but there was nothing given away but if [TS]

00:03:19   you go to the glossary of the Special [TS]

00:03:21   Forces handbook and look for like look [TS]

00:03:25   for like Lady look lady looks in the [TS]

00:03:28   back in the glossary there is no section [TS]

00:03:30   on lady looks there's a section on [TS]

00:03:33   punjabi sticks [TS]

00:03:35   uh-huh there's a section on how to be [TS]

00:03:39   had a guy on a motorcycle driving down a [TS]

00:03:41   road at night there is not a section on [TS]

00:03:44   lady looks and how to avoid them and I [TS]

00:03:46   was really I was astonished I was caught [TS]

00:03:48   off guard but I don't know when I [TS]

00:03:51   practically i played out this scenario [TS]

00:03:53   I'm just hypothetically super glad I [TS]

00:03:54   wasn't there and involved i am you know [TS]

00:03:57   they say that dogs can smell fear and [TS]

00:03:58   turns out I've heard this i don't know [TS]

00:04:01   this is true being a dogs sense of smell [TS]

00:04:02   is is extremely acute don't know they [TS]

00:04:05   can smell very well from pretty far away [TS]

00:04:07   but it is very sensitive and supposedly [TS]

00:04:09   what a dog can smell is what you might [TS]

00:04:12   call flop sweat think they can smell the [TS]

00:04:15   difference in somebody who is feeling [TS]

00:04:16   anxious and so for example they say you [TS]

00:04:19   know if you've got a dog like you know [TS]

00:04:22   they'll get the really but okay [TS]

00:04:24   is the vibe from the owner sometimes so [TS]

00:04:26   if the if the owner of another dog is [TS]

00:04:28   really anxious I guess what I'm saying [TS]

00:04:29   is that maybe this is the kind of Dar [TS]

00:04:31   and maybe there's something that ladies [TS]

00:04:33   can detect you know and I don't know if [TS]

00:04:35   it sent thing [TS]

00:04:36   well now you have we talked about this [TS]

00:04:38   before but the you know in the back of [TS]

00:04:40   certain kinds of magazines there is that [TS]

00:04:44   there's that add that has the picture of [TS]

00:04:48   the woman who discovered the human [TS]

00:04:50   pheromone scent [TS]

00:04:53   uh-huh and that woman looks kind of like [TS]

00:04:55   Marilyn Vos savant but a little me with [TS]

00:05:00   the highest IQ in the world that's right [TS]

00:05:02   the woman and her name is something like [TS]

00:05:04   that it's like doctor at dr. Adonis [TS]

00:05:09   androgynous superiority and um and you [TS]

00:05:14   know she discovered the human pheromone [TS]

00:05:16   and/or pheromone and supposedly [TS]

00:05:19   condensed it down into like a little [TS]

00:05:21   sort of like deer piss sent they you put [TS]

00:05:25   behind your ears and it brings dears [TS]

00:05:28   sheshe theoretically selling this idea [TS]

00:05:30   to which gender is she saying this to [TS]

00:05:32   this is for men she is selling this [TS]

00:05:34   typically these ads are in the back of [TS]

00:05:36   lad mag okay [TS]

00:05:39   ack like some androgen you get something [TS]

00:05:41   on there right that's going to make make [TS]

00:05:43   make a woman uncontrolled for guys who [TS]

00:05:45   have given up on the on the seduction [TS]

00:05:48   community they're ready to go to the [TS]

00:05:49   next level [TS]

00:05:50   I feel like I feel like it may even be [TS]

00:05:52   called Andros that's a good name [TS]

00:05:55   he had the product but in any case she [TS]

00:05:58   she has it she has like I think what she [TS]

00:06:01   does is she you know she gets people [TS]

00:06:03   aroused and then collect em and put [TS]

00:06:07   funnels under their arms like a squeegee [TS]

00:06:11   like she squeegees them who I don't need [TS]

00:06:16   this of course I don't need any of this [TS]

00:06:18   now you have a you have a very of the [TS]

00:06:19   power of Andres all in your own with my [TS]

00:06:21   even completely clean [TS]

00:06:24   I still have a fááá have a kind of [TS]

00:06:28   attractant that does bring it brings [TS]

00:06:31   dear [TS]

00:06:32   it but i think it probably leaches out [TS]

00:06:35   of your van [TS]

00:06:36   I know the van is gone now writes that [TS]

00:06:39   man's gone my gosh I someone else so [TS]

00:06:42   this weapon someone from the march of [TS]

00:06:43   dimes is driving around in that van [TS]

00:06:45   wondering why they keep getting late [TS]

00:06:47   haha i have been working for the march [TS]

00:06:50   of dimes for 15 years and i have this [TS]

00:06:52   used ban that we've got they got a van [TS]

00:06:55   would like that wheelchair on the back [TS]

00:06:57   and the rolling around get more pussy [TS]

00:06:58   than Sinatra and I'm shagging I'm [TS]

00:07:01   shaking so many 35 year old women i [TS]

00:07:03   don't have to do with myself but in any [TS]

00:07:05   case so my fiancé haired are his is [TS]

00:07:10   it's just I know that she does not have [TS]

00:07:13   that hair because of my because my human [TS]

00:07:17   studies indicate that she would have a [TS]

00:07:19   different type of hair typically then [TS]

00:07:22   the hair that she frequently rocks oh [TS]

00:07:25   yeah and her her ethnicity is not [TS]

00:07:28   conducive to a blonde pixie cut out of [TS]

00:07:33   the box [TS]

00:07:34   yeah necessity does play a role in hair [TS]

00:07:37   type but I think you could accomplish [TS]

00:07:40   that hair but you would be we've talked [TS]

00:07:43   recently in this podcast about donks but [TS]

00:07:47   now we need to talk about the conch [TS]

00:07:50   oh yeah this is what I got Malcolm X [TS]

00:07:52   with his head in the toilet when the [TS]

00:07:53   cops came [TS]

00:07:53   that's right is burning it was burning [TS]

00:07:55   burning like fire the acid a you know [TS]

00:07:58   bleach solution whatever it is in this [TS]

00:08:01   area it's like like it's okay remember [TS]

00:08:02   is that it relaxes your hair and it [TS]

00:08:04   burns like fire the conch as a great [TS]

00:08:06   scene it was a hell of a scene i am [TS]

00:08:09   speaking of the dog thing [TS]

00:08:10   yeah we have received a lot of mail oh [TS]

00:08:13   god don't get me started and and I know [TS]

00:08:16   I know the people who have who have been [TS]

00:08:17   i know- listeners response on our lives [TS]

00:08:22   in there at the impalas impala thank you [TS]

00:08:25   thank you very much i was very [TS]

00:08:27   instructive and now you still got 30 [TS]

00:08:29   characters left thank you have I have [TS]

00:08:32   received so many of these I didn't [TS]

00:08:34   respond to the first 50 but by the [TS]

00:08:37   hundred and fiftieth the hundred and [TS]

00:08:39   fiftieth one I was just like seriously [TS]

00:08:42   yeah is that the word you think i was [TS]

00:08:44   searching for it in [TS]

00:08:46   Paula whose yeah i mean i understand [TS]

00:08:50   people get confused with that we cover a [TS]

00:08:52   lot of mr. john i'm just glad they [TS]

00:08:53   listen I'm glad they're here [TS]

00:08:55   you know what I mean that you know god [TS]

00:08:56   bless them here's the thing i was trying [TS]

00:08:58   to explain to pays to my daughter go to [TS]

00:09:02   pays well and yeah I mean there's a lot [TS]

00:09:04   of things in life that are complicated [TS]

00:09:05   to explain but in you know it's easy [TS]

00:09:07   enough to explain that sometimes when [TS]

00:09:09   people don't have as much hair as they [TS]

00:09:10   would like they'll put on a little hat [TS]

00:09:12   makes it look like they have more hair [TS]

00:09:14   my hair with humans does now that's not [TS]

00:09:16   to pay that i can appreciate my time I [TS]

00:09:18   like those beers was actually hair and [TS]

00:09:20   bad that little cap that looks like a [TS]

00:09:23   sea anemone I've never seen without a [TS]

00:09:25   hat [TS]

00:09:25   well yeah and he where he is at a [TS]

00:09:27   certain point he realized that he [TS]

00:09:28   couldn't wear a cowboy hat everywhere [TS]

00:09:29   and he needed something where was the [TS]

00:09:32   place was a plausible [TS]

00:09:34   Yeah Yeah right it's like hey Billy you [TS]

00:09:36   know they jump out of the shower come [TS]

00:09:38   look at this cowboy hat on [TS]

00:09:41   he needed to happen he could wear [TS]

00:09:42   everywhere right [TS]

00:09:44   he hops into the hot tub and so he had [TS]

00:09:47   this custom-made i'm sure he saw it at [TS]

00:09:49   like a like a street fair and Amsterdam [TS]

00:09:53   or something and it's a watch cap that [TS]

00:09:54   looks like a sea anemone and he's been [TS]

00:09:58   wearing and it so it looks like kind of [TS]

00:10:00   mini dreads almost like this like is it [TS]

00:10:03   more like the edge or more with your [TS]

00:10:05   chest array or it's like an edge hat if [TS]

00:10:09   the edge hat was covered with layne [TS]

00:10:12   staley beards and multiple tiny layne [TS]

00:10:15   staley yeah so if you had lain stiff [TS]

00:10:17   layne staley was still alive [TS]

00:10:18   I restless soul and you are cultivating [TS]

00:10:20   his little braided chin beard and every [TS]

00:10:23   time he grew one that was about six [TS]

00:10:25   inches long you would cut it off and say [TS]

00:10:26   you know you keep feeding him [TS]

00:10:28   Staley Chow and you keep you keep [TS]

00:10:31   growing these things once you have [TS]

00:10:32   collected five place its own gravy [TS]

00:10:35   you would then knit them into an edge [TS]

00:10:37   cap ok and that's the billy gibbons hair [TS]

00:10:41   hat and what what's underneath there [TS]

00:10:44   I one can only imagine i think he I [TS]

00:10:48   think he looks like the the professor [TS]

00:10:50   from Back to the Future under there [TS]

00:10:52   um i have not seen that but I mean and [TS]

00:10:56   you know i don't want to sound unkind we [TS]

00:10:58   have on numerous occasions too [TS]

00:10:59   that's the problem of hairless men and [TS]

00:11:02   it was during one of our early video [TS]

00:11:04   interviews where you first introduce me [TS]

00:11:06   to the ben affleck problem which is [TS]

00:11:07   something i still turn over in my mind a [TS]

00:11:08   couple times a month [TS]

00:11:09   I like to circle back to that but I'm is [TS]

00:11:12   a couple things about this first of all [TS]

00:11:13   I'm gonna say again thank God a man can [TS]

00:11:16   shave his head I'm so glad that this is [TS]

00:11:18   now an option right remember when it [TS]

00:11:20   wasn't [TS]

00:11:20   oh I know I i woke up the morning and I [TS]

00:11:23   started thinking about the special [TS]

00:11:24   education teacher at my high school mr. [TS]

00:11:26   r minus his name isn't mr. frensky he [TS]

00:11:29   has never been skied Minsky the burns [TS]

00:11:31   keeps a prince key Verbinski anyway ski [TS]

00:11:34   suppose he was very obviously he would [TS]

00:11:39   definitely registered on my flamboyant [TS]

00:11:41   dar yeah and he working on shirts in [TS]

00:11:44   like nineteen eighty-three let me way [TS]

00:11:46   behind the bell-bottoms and the whole [TS]

00:11:47   thing and he a nice guy never met such [TS]

00:11:49   he uses he was a really really nice guy [TS]

00:11:56   and he taught special education is [TS]

00:11:57   incredibly patient he was very kind [TS]

00:11:59   he was a great guy and I really liked [TS]

00:12:01   the video screen always kind of [TS]

00:12:03   weird-looking he had that really bad you [TS]

00:12:04   know kind of acne you know right now is [TS]

00:12:07   driving around in a March of Dimes band [TS]

00:12:09   was like what the fuck is going on my [TS]

00:12:12   life and let me turn around [TS]

00:12:14   what's happening this is insane [TS]

00:12:19   Mikey's he was a super nice guy don't [TS]

00:12:21   like I disparage the guy but he's very [TS]

00:12:23   kind of odd features is very body [TS]

00:12:25   against sweetest man in the world but he [TS]

00:12:27   had this he had this strange hair that [TS]

00:12:30   hair problem that really approach like a [TS]

00:12:32   bozo the clown level problem where I [TS]

00:12:34   mean he had to be looking his early to [TS]

00:12:36   mid thirties but he had he was full-on [TS]

00:12:38   like super tonsure bald on top like [TS]

00:12:42   shiny bald not a lick hair and he didn't [TS]

00:12:46   do the comb-over but he had a bozo thing [TS]

00:12:48   going on [TS]

00:12:49   yeah his hair did was very long he [TS]

00:12:51   looked kind of like am what's that there [TS]

00:12:53   was a movie all the people of three [TS]

00:12:55   flower rocky horror hit that like the [TS]

00:12:57   rocky horror guys sure the string here [TS]

00:12:59   his name is a riff raff that's that's [TS]

00:13:02   the original riff raff in ac/dc song [TS]

00:13:04   well you do you're familiar with the the [TS]

00:13:07   current rapper [TS]

00:13:08   a name drift graph riffraff I can keep [TS]

00:13:11   track everybody everybody has [TS]

00:13:13   diacritical and ! the name of the new [TS]

00:13:16   riff raff is a guy he's a guy that is [TS]

00:13:18   actually free actually kind of in some [TS]

00:13:21   ways not not physically but spiritually [TS]

00:13:23   resembles the old riffraff it's but he's [TS]

00:13:28   a guy who has taken you know you know [TS]

00:13:31   the like hyper trimmed beard they don't [TS]

00:13:34   like Don Johnson kind of thing [TS]

00:13:36   well no like that like we're here where [TS]

00:13:38   you have micro clippers and you are able [TS]

00:13:40   to like draw z is here hurry be so he's [TS]

00:13:44   taking that to the end level he has he [TS]

00:13:46   has cornrows he's a white guy but he has [TS]

00:13:49   cornrows [TS]

00:13:50   are you kidding he's a white guy and he [TS]

00:13:52   can't believe it or not and he cuts [TS]

00:13:54   notches in his eyebrows and he draws [TS]

00:13:57   like he draws very intricate little sort [TS]

00:14:00   of mazes out of his beard hair on his [TS]

00:14:03   face and he has he has the mtv logo [TS]

00:14:07   tattooed on his neck and he is he is all [TS]

00:14:11   the is really all the 1981 MTV logo [TS]

00:14:15   yeah okay with with a certain kind of [TS]

00:14:17   like a young person who likes to snort [TS]

00:14:23   oxy cotton but who is not a juggalo [TS]

00:14:27   necessary riffraff is the DJ du jour [TS]

00:14:32   ok Annie he cuts across all fronts hehe [TS]

00:14:36   can get appeal to any audience because [TS]

00:14:38   of his variety of terrible decisions [TS]

00:14:39   well you remember when we talked about [TS]

00:14:41   the vein of juggalo right where's the [TS]

00:14:44   band always talk to you about the vein [TS]

00:14:47   of juggalo the vein the vein of juggalo [TS]

00:14:49   runs from just just south of Cincinnati [TS]

00:14:51   like it's in the south through the [TS]

00:14:55   center of america down to you know [TS]

00:14:57   somewhere like south of memphis yeah but [TS]

00:15:01   and broadens at a certain point it feels [TS]

00:15:03   very Alabama to me with nothing at all [TS]

00:15:05   against the wonderful state of Alabama [TS]

00:15:06   it's got a real kind of Alabama vibe to [TS]

00:15:08   me there's a lot of that down there but [TS]

00:15:09   in any case riffraff is he penetrates [TS]

00:15:13   the agenda buckle juggalo I'm sorry did [TS]

00:15:15   I said the jane of bungalow yet jainism [TS]

00:15:18   i think it's a it's a kind of chocolate [TS]

00:15:19   religion he he penetrates they're here [TS]

00:15:22   but he also like he's very active in [TS]

00:15:25   South Florida which are which obviously [TS]

00:15:27   there's a lot of juggalos there too but [TS]

00:15:29   i don't know i'm still really still [TS]

00:15:31   researching the new riff raff ok i went [TS]

00:15:35   back to you but I know more okay let's [TS]

00:15:37   table that I'm going to do some research [TS]

00:15:38   on riff raff i'm pretty sure that that [TS]

00:15:41   there was really a recent movie where [TS]

00:15:43   the actor james franco plays a character [TS]

00:15:48   derived from like the players character [TS]

00:15:52   that is basically an homage to riff raff [TS]

00:15:54   is it is it is it played straighter is [TS]

00:15:56   it Raffe plantation that is a really [TS]

00:16:01   good question i feel like riffraff may [TS]

00:16:03   feel like it ain't no thing [TS]

00:16:05   uh-huh but he might also feel like [TS]

00:16:07   what's up [TS]

00:16:09   yes you know what I mean it's a good [TS]

00:16:11   point yeah so anyway so anyway he can't [TS]

00:16:14   hehehe have bozo hair [TS]

00:16:16   yeah sweet guy and then he came back and [TS]

00:16:19   late August he shows up for a new school [TS]

00:16:21   year and he has the most luxurious like [TS]

00:16:26   an anvil like helmet of jet black fake [TS]

00:16:29   hair the un-named i don't know if i'm [TS]

00:16:31   assuming it was a toupee it was you know [TS]

00:16:33   and I'm gonna get to the second to pay [TS]

00:16:35   dark but like I couldn't even tell what [TS]

00:16:37   it was I mean it was it was some kind of [TS]

00:16:39   people helmet was like yeah kind of [TS]

00:16:41   feels like a woodland creature but it [TS]

00:16:43   had all the worst components of both the [TS]

00:16:45   toupee and a comb-over like you know [TS]

00:16:48   there's a comb-over you can get we're [TS]

00:16:49   looking animal you can just kind of a [TS]

00:16:51   trapezoid shape on your head right but i [TS]

00:16:53   think it was on a second pair i guess so [TS]

00:16:55   i guess so but you're trying to struggle [TS]

00:16:57   to explain to my daughter and eventually [TS]

00:16:58   stopped because I don't want to become a [TS]

00:16:59   hard person like me but you know but [TS]

00:17:02   that's the funny thing is like how could [TS]

00:17:04   you you could try to explain to somebody [TS]

00:17:06   how to spot somebody with a toupee but [TS]

00:17:09   it would still not really get to like [TS]

00:17:11   how you can tell a bad toupee you can [TS]

00:17:13   tell right like a really bad toupee [TS]

00:17:15   where you got a two tone hair like Brian [TS]

00:17:17   got this black thing on top of your head [TS]

00:17:19   and great was that squirrel attacking [TS]

00:17:20   that man different textures it doesn't [TS]

00:17:23   match but I mean even if you look at [TS]

00:17:25   Tony Bennett who has four years have one [TS]

00:17:26   of the best drugs in the business you [TS]

00:17:28   can still kind of tell us a toupee [TS]

00:17:30   and I i don't i don't know what that is [TS]

00:17:32   I don't know this is one of those [TS]

00:17:32   malcolm gladwell turns out things but [TS]

00:17:34   like it's not age-appropriate hair for [TS]

00:17:36   one thing we talked about Frank Sinatra [TS]

00:17:38   Frank Sinatra as as we know used to wear [TS]

00:17:41   you sells booze a shot him in the studio [TS]

00:17:43   during his comeback in the fifties and [TS]

00:17:46   sixties and he's wearing a cool hat [TS]

00:17:48   yeah you look at pictures of him in [TS]

00:17:49   whatever the one with the Berlin caster [TS]

00:17:52   having sex on the beach with that data [TS]

00:17:53   car like in that movie he's bald man [TS]

00:17:55   he's balding bald bald man yeah and then [TS]

00:17:58   suddenly and he's dancing with Nancy [TS]

00:18:00   Reagan yes and he has a he has like a [TS]

00:18:03   doormat on his head [TS]

00:18:05   well but here's where we'll go to the [TS]

00:18:07   expenses doorman well what I here's my [TS]

00:18:09   props that I have to give we said this [TS]

00:18:10   numerous times i think it's worth [TS]

00:18:11   repeating because that's how you help [TS]

00:18:13   people and you know I he had a realistic [TS]

00:18:16   to pay in the sense that yes it was [TS]

00:18:18   great and yes he had as awful of a man [TS]

00:18:21   is he was as poorly as he treated me [TS]

00:18:23   Pharaoh and he still had the presence of [TS]

00:18:25   mind to get a plausible to pay for it [TS]

00:18:28   looked like his hair was thinning in the [TS]

00:18:30   front right right and it was and it was [TS]

00:18:32   it [TS]

00:18:32   yeah i would look appropriate yeah yeah [TS]

00:18:34   anyway I i think it's a funny thing it's [TS]

00:18:36   a man enough it's all related to the [TS]

00:18:39   ladies now where the two ladies in in [TS]

00:18:41   hypothetical competition with one [TS]

00:18:42   another was their history [TS]

00:18:44   no not at all and frankly if we can [TS]

00:18:48   speak honestly and hypothetical they [TS]

00:18:50   both have amazing hair [TS]

00:18:52   I don't know how that plays and i'm [TS]

00:18:54   using natural hair big curl is [TS]

00:18:57   pathetically oh I hypothetically now big [TS]

00:19:00   hair [TS]

00:19:01   I think I hypothetically no one of them [TS]

00:19:02   is naturally big hair to not like he has [TS]

00:19:05   great thick not hear that you have to [TS]

00:19:08   tease up but just hear that just no [TS]

00:19:10   matter what happened humane generous [TS]

00:19:12   hair you're on a ferry boat the wind is [TS]

00:19:14   blowing hair looks great you're here to [TS]

00:19:16   put up with you Mon longer than probably [TS]

00:19:18   anybody should have yeah yeah I don't [TS]

00:19:21   you can explain that to a kid the last [TS]

00:19:22   ben affleck movie that the town which [TS]

00:19:25   which I felt like was a I don't know if [TS]

00:19:27   that was the last but that's like move [TS]

00:19:28   it was left is when you were with her up [TS]

00:19:31   whatever the last time i went to a ben [TS]

00:19:33   affleck movie Oh know what you know what [TS]

00:19:35   I saw Argo Argo was fine [TS]

00:19:38   yeah it was fine i think it's deeply [TS]

00:19:40   deeply overrate nothing against the [TS]

00:19:41   movie but the budget is way too much for [TS]

00:19:43   her reaction [TS]

00:19:43   and all those rewards it didn't deserve [TS]

00:19:45   it was like a top-20 TV movie zero dark [TS]

00:19:48   thirty was a better fill that's a very [TS]

00:19:50   good movie but in any case the last time [TS]

00:19:52   I saw ben affleck movie where there were [TS]

00:19:53   a lot of real close ups of the guy I [TS]

00:19:58   swear to you Merlin I was enjoying the [TS]

00:20:00   movie that the town [TS]

00:20:02   yes I was enjoying it i was absorbed in [TS]

00:20:04   the film every time Ben Affleck came on [TS]

00:20:07   the movie on the screen all i could do [TS]

00:20:09   is look at his hairline and go we're is [TS]

00:20:12   the graft i got i'm looking at a photo [TS]

00:20:15   how does he do it i'm looking at a [TS]

00:20:17   pretty well ok so I'm looking one here [TS]

00:20:19   where he's he's very shortly shorn yeah [TS]

00:20:21   and it looks real [TS]

00:20:22   it looks a little while it's so good it [TS]

00:20:25   drives me crazy I mean this is the [TS]

00:20:27   problem now that I'm i became aware that [TS]

00:20:29   many years ago but ever since then I [TS]

00:20:31   cannot appreciate a ben affleck movie [TS]

00:20:33   because the only performance i've been [TS]

00:20:35   i'm interested in is the performance of [TS]

00:20:37   his hair doctor isn't that awful i am [TS]

00:20:42   judging his hair dr. the entire time [TS]

00:20:43   like you are amazing that somebody had a [TS]

00:20:46   stroke and you're just kind of watching [TS]

00:20:47   for some kind of sign for watching [TS]

00:20:49   yourself soup to dribble out of trying [TS]

00:20:51   to figure out which leg somebody lost in [TS]

00:20:53   the war before they stood up [TS]

00:20:54   it's very it's very very distracting I [TS]

00:20:56   want me another one that one he looked [TS]

00:20:58   well haired this one I'm looking at now [TS]

00:21:00   hirsute mmm yes there's hair suit like a [TS]

00:21:04   hair shirt but fake p.m. then this one [TS]

00:21:07   he really does look like he's in an ad [TS]

00:21:09   for the Hair Club for Men his hair looks [TS]

00:21:11   bad you're saying this one it does [TS]

00:21:13   because it doesn't conform to the shape [TS]

00:21:14   of the head [TS]

00:21:15   it's it's you know what is the thing [TS]

00:21:17   Michael Jackson had body allocation ok [TS]

00:21:21   that's the thing where you get body [TS]

00:21:24   dysmorphic yes [TS]

00:21:26   yeah it's like it's like it isn't it [TS]

00:21:28   like a isn't it a starving sister of [TS]

00:21:31   anorexia will guide you you don't see [TS]

00:21:34   what you actually look like even though [TS]

00:21:36   even though they look like lon chaney [TS]

00:21:37   senior he thought that nose look good [TS]

00:21:40   yeah just morphia I guess is that it was [TS]

00:21:42   this region would be of trouble [TS]

00:21:43   swallowing [TS]

00:21:44   I think I guess at any rate he i see i [TS]

00:21:49   think the thing is when you put on your [TS]

00:21:51   little hair hat you go to the store you [TS]

00:21:53   get your consultant [TS]

00:21:54   uur this is that sounds unkind but i [TS]

00:21:58   think it's a very human thing because [TS]

00:21:59   you go in there and you want to see [TS]

00:22:01   yourself as you think you look or as you [TS]

00:22:03   think you should look for used to look [TS]

00:22:06   well here's but now so so here we're [TS]

00:22:08   into a category that kind of haunts me [TS]

00:22:11   all the time which is that in them in [TS]

00:22:14   the morning I wake up and I go to my [TS]

00:22:15   closet and I ask myself how how are we [TS]

00:22:20   going to dress today how are we going to [TS]

00:22:22   present herself that's the uniform of [TS]

00:22:23   the day for challenge and as as chris [TS]

00:22:25   wallace has has so aptly pointed out [TS]

00:22:29   sometimes I sometimes I show up at the [TS]

00:22:32   studio dressed like a space cowboy and [TS]

00:22:36   he doesn't he doesn't know how to how to [TS]

00:22:38   prepare for those days he's not he's not [TS]

00:22:41   expect he's never expecting it and so I [TS]

00:22:44   walk out of the house sometimes in the [TS]

00:22:45   most my most recent purchases course a [TS]

00:22:47   pair of pink pants with little blue [TS]

00:22:50   anchors on them and I will go outside [TS]

00:22:54   and i'll be walking around i'll be going [TS]

00:22:56   through my day and then it will occur to [TS]

00:22:57   me that maybe I am maybe other people [TS]

00:23:02   are seeing me differently than i am [TS]

00:23:04   seeing myself home starting with that [TS]

00:23:06   right now and i am a 44 year old and I [TS]

00:23:09   know that I know that there are certain [TS]

00:23:12   things that it's well in fact i don't i [TS]

00:23:18   was trying to make a list of all the [TS]

00:23:20   things that I know I'm too old to wear [TS]

00:23:21   but i but I don't have anything on that [TS]

00:23:24   list it so i have that i have no [TS]

00:23:26   restrictions on on the clothes that i [TS]

00:23:28   will wear and I'm afraid I'm afraid for [TS]

00:23:31   myself [TS]

00:23:32   you haven't gotten to that point you're [TS]

00:23:33   not you're not seeing what the hairpiece [TS]

00:23:35   actually looks like yet [TS]

00:23:36   that's right i'm afraid that that i'm [TS]

00:23:38   walking down the street and people are [TS]

00:23:41   saying people are saying unkind things [TS]

00:23:43   yeah because maybe that maybe the [TS]

00:23:47   combination of powder blue cowboy boots [TS]

00:23:50   and pink pants with anchors on them [TS]

00:23:54   maybe I look like I'm having a stroke [TS]

00:23:56   and I I think I'm Lila grad yeah but [TS]

00:24:02   maybe it maybe other people are maybe a [TS]

00:24:04   maybe the reason that people are so nice [TS]

00:24:06   to me in supermarkets [TS]

00:24:08   is they think that I am a disabled [TS]

00:24:10   person they want to donate avandia yeah [TS]

00:24:13   but they're like oh look at the poor old [TS]

00:24:15   guy who suffers from colorblindness I [TS]

00:24:20   can't like jelly color blindness of his [TS]

00:24:23   soul haha all [TS]

00:24:25   yeah I suffered that well I realized [TS]

00:24:28   early as i was heading that the purchase [TS]

00:24:30   button on amazon that I probably don't [TS]

00:24:31   need a third Fantastic Four shirt and [TS]

00:24:35   it's identical to the other two just [TS]

00:24:36   that we're almost where my fantastic for [TS]

00:24:38   sure almost every day so I bought a [TS]

00:24:39   third one unless yeah you want to go to [TS]

00:24:42   comic-con with me next year i would do [TS]

00:24:44   that [TS]

00:24:45   I'm forgotten to comic-con you know I [TS]

00:24:47   remember when I made fun of you but yeah [TS]

00:24:49   we was when we're doing the show I mean [TS]

00:24:50   it's been the last you know what are a [TS]

00:24:51   couple years and I make funny you going [TS]

00:24:54   to comiccon I totally spaced this year I [TS]

00:24:56   I'm ready to throw myself into Comic Con [TS]

00:24:59   I'm ready to do it i think we should go [TS]

00:25:01   I think we should do a performance there [TS]

00:25:02   and then we do cosplay we should cosplay [TS]

00:25:03   as each other that we should go to [TS]

00:25:05   here's what we should do will go to [TS]

00:25:07   comic-con and we'll cosplay as the [TS]

00:25:10   mythbusters and we're going to be the [TS]

00:25:13   Doobie Brothers goodnight and we'll both [TS]

00:25:15   though we'll do a whole Mythbusters show [TS]

00:25:18   but it'll be us instead of those guys [TS]

00:25:20   and you can be the Doobie Brothers guy [TS]

00:25:22   I'm gonna be Adam Savage [TS]

00:25:23   he talks a lot less doesn't he The [TS]

00:25:25   Doobie Brothers going yeah but he's [TS]

00:25:26   doing you know he's the one that's [TS]

00:25:27   really that's really blown stuff up [TS]

00:25:30   oh is that his role he's the he's got [TS]

00:25:32   the break so he's got to be the guy with [TS]

00:25:33   the briefcase full of bombs [TS]

00:25:35   he's he's older and I think he is he's [TS]

00:25:38   the one that likes to he's more I get [TS]

00:25:42   the impression that adam is like its [TS]

00:25:45   kind of the showman he's the showman and [TS]

00:25:46   then then the other guy the other the [TS]

00:25:50   other guy Alex let's call him [TS]

00:25:53   alright my interactions with mr. savage [TS]

00:25:55   have and I know you're you're closer to [TS]

00:25:57   him than i am but all of my interactions [TS]

00:25:59   with him have been a perfect delight he [TS]

00:26:01   is like one of the nicest kind of famous [TS]

00:26:03   people I've ever met in my life and and [TS]

00:26:06   he's so much exactly like what you would [TS]

00:26:09   expect but even nicer in my experience [TS]

00:26:11   yeah he's extraordinary I i concur i [TS]

00:26:14   have never replace your songs of parties [TS]

00:26:16   well but but but but what you're saying [TS]

00:26:18   is is like absolutely true and stuff [TS]

00:26:21   finishing about him which is that you [TS]

00:26:23   meet him and he is exactly what you [TS]

00:26:25   would hope which is a thing that you [TS]

00:26:28   cannot you never say that about how [TS]

00:26:31   about the way i said i'm not saying that [TS]

00:26:32   to sound fancy i'm saying that because [TS]

00:26:34   like my ex but I've you know I'm an [TS]

00:26:36   older man now my expectations for [TS]

00:26:38   meeting people that I admire are very [TS]

00:26:40   measured right and right and you're hot [TS]

00:26:43   every measured but I ever expect a guy [TS]

00:26:45   to exceed your expectations in every way [TS]

00:26:48   and he does consist yeah i mean i don't [TS]

00:26:51   want to oversell it but yeah I have to [TS]

00:26:52   say it is it's very unusual have been a [TS]

00:26:54   few people that are really admire that [TS]

00:26:55   meant last in a couple three years as i [TS]

00:26:58   as i get a little more exposure to the [TS]

00:27:00   corridors of power [TS]

00:27:02   you like that huh you've known me longer [TS]

00:27:04   than it's it's it's true I've had your [TS]

00:27:07   Android's in my in my inflatable bed [TS]

00:27:09   inflatable literally literally we have [TS]

00:27:13   to have it destroyed it's like like [TS]

00:27:14   gattaca or something [TS]

00:27:15   listen you and I are going to go to [TS]

00:27:17   comic-con I think we should go to [TS]

00:27:18   comic-con John and we're going to swim [TS]

00:27:21   in order you a shirt [TS]

00:27:22   yeah we're going to be both whatever [TS]

00:27:24   format that's not for us [TS]

00:27:26   no here's the deal will both were [TS]

00:27:28   fantastic four shirts and we'll both [TS]

00:27:29   wear pink trousers with blinkers on them [TS]

00:27:32   oh my god wait a minute maybe we should [TS]

00:27:34   cause play as the Fantastic Four i would [TS]

00:27:37   love to be storm Richards can I be this [TS]

00:27:39   mr. stretchy you can mr. stretch he's [TS]

00:27:41   such a dick [TS]

00:27:42   he's not about to get the part where [TS]

00:27:44   Reed is not a dick United mr. stretchy [TS]

00:27:46   and mr. Flay me both at the same time I [TS]

00:27:48   think he should be mr. Rocky and mr. [TS]

00:27:50   stretchy Oh mr. Rocky and mr. stretch [TS]

00:27:53   key but I was walking around in in my [TS]

00:27:57   second blue Fantastic Four shirt and I [TS]

00:28:00   had on you you're the one getting back [TS]

00:28:02   into 50 ones in 10 years ago and now all [TS]

00:28:05   I where is these five or six pairs of [TS]

00:28:07   five on one's in different flavors and [TS]

00:28:08   then the ones that still fit me are very [TS]

00:28:11   holy I mean it's just I'm just and you [TS]

00:28:14   know you know where we're patterns are [TS]

00:28:15   so weird [TS]

00:28:16   yeah i know we're through them in this [TS]

00:28:18   and in places where like I do nothing in [TS]

00:28:20   that area of my body [TS]

00:28:21   well and like I'm not a pant scientist [TS]

00:28:23   but it seems crazy to me that yes it is [TS]

00:28:25   in an uneven way like with shoes [TS]

00:28:27   probably a chiropractic problem but I [TS]

00:28:29   always one need look down [TS]

00:28:31   ok right knee blows out way faster and [TS]

00:28:33   bigger than my left knee [TS]

00:28:34   right of course I got a hole on the [TS]

00:28:37   right side where myspace pen [TS]

00:28:39   okie and keys keep rubbing i have an [TS]

00:28:40   iphone shaped rectangle on my left [TS]

00:28:43   pocket you have a toucan ring in your [TS]

00:28:46   backpack is it doing that you can't [TS]

00:28:47   answer that you can say I'm but i but I [TS]

00:28:50   ya know that they brought the same time [TS]

00:28:51   walking around interesting matters not [TS]

00:28:53   important you get back to hair and [TS]

00:28:54   Beyonce but I but um where I'm wearing [TS]

00:28:56   I'm wearing a fantastic for sure and i'm [TS]

00:28:58   wearing these pants that look that are [TS]

00:29:00   so hobo and the coffee stains on them [TS]

00:29:03   and then send some guys in your [TS]

00:29:05   neighborhood at the at the humble place [TS]

00:29:07   start pointing and laughing as you walk [TS]

00:29:08   by tampon and that yeah i'm wearing a [TS]

00:29:14   purple converse like Hawkeye worse so [TS]

00:29:16   that's that's a moment that was a moment [TS]

00:29:18   where I said you know this may not be [TS]

00:29:19   anything appropriate let alone [TS]

00:29:21   age-appropriate I pick up your honor its [TS]

00:29:23   places and I feel like they're they're [TS]

00:29:24   going to like extra double check me for [TS]

00:29:26   security are you are you wearing your [TS]

00:29:28   second a fantastic four shirt because [TS]

00:29:32   you have them labeled like Pete [TS]

00:29:33   Townsend's guitars like one through four [TS]

00:29:35   or are you wearing your second because [TS]

00:29:37   you blew out the first one you know I [TS]

00:29:40   just don't do laundry enough and i want [TS]

00:29:41   to i don't want to i'm not an animal [TS]

00:29:43   so you have three and they're all in [TS]

00:29:45   rotation [TS]

00:29:46   okay yeah i mean like what I mean you [TS]

00:29:49   got you got several reckon backers right [TS]

00:29:51   you see you know where the same one all [TS]

00:29:53   the time [TS]

00:29:54   no I just have one written back it [TS]

00:29:55   sounds right it was at the 330 nobody [TS]

00:29:57   had fucker [TS]

00:29:58   it's a 360 360 sorry and yeah i just [TS]

00:30:02   have the one and I and I haven't played [TS]

00:30:04   in a long time because as you know I'm a [TS]

00:30:06   mathematical I'm one too bad I'm not [TS]

00:30:10   currently making rock band music and so [TS]

00:30:13   the guitar just decided not to do my job [TS]

00:30:17   join the club Johnny way to go out what [TS]

00:30:19   I think we're here so the other day the [TS]

00:30:21   other day comic con amore comic-con so [TS]

00:30:23   write down ComicCon in big letters on a [TS]

00:30:25   on a three by five card remember when we [TS]

00:30:27   go we're gonna go next year okay um the [TS]

00:30:31   other day based based largely on on [TS]

00:30:35   conversation that you and I have had and [TS]

00:30:37   on this podcast i decided i was going to [TS]

00:30:41   stop eating bread pasta and sugar is [TS]

00:30:44   that right [TS]

00:30:45   and I've actually been doing it now for [TS]

00:30:47   45 days living entirely on like a [TS]

00:30:53   lettuce like i'm using lettuce instead [TS]

00:30:56   of bread and I got a Cobb salad the [TS]

00:30:59   other day which I was just like cobb [TS]

00:31:00   salad couple of cheese on it right yeah [TS]

00:31:03   but who I mean who orders a Cobb salad [TS]

00:31:05   like it's like it's something Hugh [TS]

00:31:06   Hefner would order for somebody who [TS]

00:31:08   doesn't want people to know he's gay [TS]

00:31:09   right like Bob's always got ham on it [TS]

00:31:12   really but I ordered it and I ate it [TS]

00:31:15   I've been eating all this food that is [TS]

00:31:17   not my normal time so interested in this [TS]

00:31:21   well so I'm really tripping out like my [TS]

00:31:23   whole body is just I I can't say that it [TS]

00:31:26   feels better [TS]

00:31:27   it just feels different it feels weird [TS]

00:31:29   so for five days [TS]

00:31:31   yeah and and so you're if you're really [TS]

00:31:34   sticking with it mostly you're getting [TS]

00:31:36   your near the hump [TS]

00:31:37   I think the first week is really hard I [TS]

00:31:40   mean it's weird like you're going to God [TS]

00:31:41   eggs again [TS]

00:31:42   yeah it's weird and I woke up like I [TS]

00:31:44   just ate eggs for dinner eggs and [TS]

00:31:46   spinach pretend i'm looking at this food [TS]

00:31:49   and I'm like is this food this seems [TS]

00:31:51   like i know that all the ingredients are [TS]

00:31:54   food right and you put it all together [TS]

00:31:56   and it is food but it feels like [TS]

00:31:58   something that you would get on like [TS]

00:32:00   Kazakh Stan airlines like there is [TS]

00:32:05   something missing in that portion of [TS]

00:32:07   eggs comes it starts like it's like food [TS]

00:32:12   that you would food that you would be [TS]

00:32:14   you'd be five days into a seven day hike [TS]

00:32:17   and you'd be opening up your [TS]

00:32:19   freeze-dried bags like well I've got [TS]

00:32:22   some eggs well I've got some spinach [TS]

00:32:24   yeah what I wasn't bring this up last [TS]

00:32:26   time [TS]

00:32:27   um unless I knew that your kind of [TS]

00:32:29   thinking about but [TS]

00:32:30   the one reason this intrigues me i'm [TS]

00:32:32   curious that this factored into it at [TS]

00:32:33   all [TS]

00:32:34   aight you're a man who ate almost [TS]

00:32:37   anything you've ever wanted to quit or [TS]

00:32:39   chosen to quit you've done cold turkey [TS]

00:32:40   right yeah you just you don't you don't [TS]

00:32:42   you don't say oh I'm going to taper off [TS]

00:32:44   the cigarette so I don't know it doesn't [TS]

00:32:45   work right and but it's interesting [TS]

00:32:48   because the the yeah you know sure it's [TS]

00:32:49   kind of half joke but like you know how [TS]

00:32:51   you keep cigarettes around the house [TS]

00:32:52   just to prove that you don't have to [TS]

00:32:53   smoke them have a Pakistani I have a I [TS]

00:32:56   have three quarters of a pack of [TS]

00:32:57   cigarettes in my house [TS]

00:32:58   Wow and unite and I go sometimes and I [TS]

00:33:01   pick him up and look at him leave it and [TS]

00:33:04   I go and we could leave it leave it [TS]

00:33:06   no I don't I mean I'm I'm where I'm way [TS]

00:33:09   past now I like the last time I quit [TS]

00:33:13   smoking which was the 20th time I quit [TS]

00:33:15   smoking something really did change in [TS]

00:33:18   me [TS]

00:33:18   oh and i look at them now and night and [TS]

00:33:21   they seem like some they seem like [TS]

00:33:24   something from another planet that I'd [TS]

00:33:25   they have no appeal to me and in the [TS]

00:33:29   past I would I kept that pack of [TS]

00:33:30   cigarettes around until I finally smoked [TS]

00:33:32   one a year and a half later now but now [TS]

00:33:35   it's been several it's been four years [TS]

00:33:37   and I haven't really been that long [TS]

00:33:40   yeah and I still pick up that pack of [TS]

00:33:41   cigarettes and look at it and I'm like [TS]

00:33:42   oh it's just a different a different [TS]

00:33:45   response to it looking just like well i [TS]

00:33:47   mean i have i have probably five cigars [TS]

00:33:49   I brought back from Cuba that I keep in [TS]

00:33:52   a humidifier and I keep it humidified [TS]

00:33:55   yeah but I look at them and they seem [TS]

00:33:58   like uh it's that it would be the same [TS]

00:34:01   it if I had a bottle of 54 chateau [TS]

00:34:04   lafayette or whatever I mean right [TS]

00:34:07   an interesting thing this is why it's [TS]

00:34:09   nice to have a friend who smoke some of [TS]

00:34:10   them for you [TS]

00:34:11   yeah next time you're up you should [TS]

00:34:12   smoke all these old cigar old lines will [TS]

00:34:14   let this is what's interesting to me as [TS]

00:34:16   an experiment because you know who you [TS]

00:34:18   talked about your relationship with food [TS]

00:34:20   at you no just looking at something like [TS]

00:34:22   the egg and spinach dinner like that [TS]

00:34:23   really seems super fucking weird because [TS]

00:34:25   in your mind that doesn't mean not even [TS]

00:34:27   just that that's a breakfast thing or [TS]

00:34:29   that that's a brunch thing I mean it's [TS]

00:34:30   you realize is my guess the question is [TS]

00:34:32   like first of all can this be a kind of [TS]

00:34:34   John leave it experiment but also [TS]

00:34:37   doesn't make you aware of like how [TS]

00:34:40   weirdly a part of your life a certain [TS]

00:34:42   kind of way of eating is like [TS]

00:34:43   eating a certain kind of food late at [TS]

00:34:45   night yep isn't it doesn't make you wear [TS]

00:34:47   that because that's what i feel i feel [TS]

00:34:48   like i feel so off-center because again [TS]

00:34:50   I go back on which I i can have some may [TS]

00:34:53   not have another boiled egg white a [TS]

00:34:54   boiled egg it's three in the afternoon [TS]

00:34:56   what's wrong with you [TS]

00:34:57   yeah right was very distressed feels [TS]

00:34:58   very disruptive it's 1030 tonight it's [TS]

00:35:00   peanut butter cup time and it's like [TS]

00:35:03   nope it's not peanut butter cup time but [TS]

00:35:06   at what would it [TS]

00:35:08   it's making me aware of is that I sub i [TS]

00:35:11   have substituted quantity for variety in [TS]

00:35:14   food for a long time if I am making food [TS]

00:35:17   at home i make a one pound of pasta [TS]

00:35:20   rather than making a four-course meal [TS]

00:35:24   for myself so ice [TS]

00:35:26   I you know I will put vegetables in the [TS]

00:35:29   spaghetti sauce but idea i would not [TS]

00:35:31   make a second plate of vegetables and [TS]

00:35:37   taking away the pounds of pasta [TS]

00:35:39   I you know like I'm looking at my meals [TS]

00:35:44   now and realizing that the stomach or [TS]

00:35:46   nutrition the core interesting part of [TS]

00:35:50   the meal is is not interesting enough [TS]

00:35:53   you know like a little dollop of this [TS]

00:35:56   really what you want to have a vegetable [TS]

00:35:59   course you you want to have a salad you [TS]

00:36:01   want to have on you want to have other [TS]

00:36:03   elements something I mean the one that [TS]

00:36:05   really got me was potatoes I got not a [TS]

00:36:07   giant potato and he's like I don't have [TS]

00:36:09   to have potatoes and pasta with every [TS]

00:36:10   meal but it was amazing how quickly I [TS]

00:36:12   you know I I would that's how I would [TS]

00:36:14   have burgers i would have a burger with [TS]

00:36:15   cheese and stuff in Greenleaf lettuce [TS]

00:36:17   and like that's actually really really [TS]

00:36:19   good [TS]

00:36:20   it's it's great and it's it's just as [TS]

00:36:22   good as a hamburger [TS]

00:36:23   it's just but then like where's the [TS]

00:36:25   fucking french fries why are there not [TS]

00:36:27   any potatoes with this it's yes isn't [TS]

00:36:30   that strange [TS]

00:36:30   yeah something's missing and [TS]

00:36:31   particularly a strawberry milkshake is [TS]

00:36:33   missing [TS]

00:36:34   mm so anyway I'm figuring it out because [TS]

00:36:36   i do i because i opened the atkins book [TS]

00:36:39   right and i looked at I read it and it's [TS]

00:36:41   just like everything in the world [TS]

00:36:43   son where some white guys trying to tell [TS]

00:36:46   me how to live and I read it and I was [TS]

00:36:48   like listen I am the white guy who tells [TS]

00:36:52   other people how to live [TS]

00:36:54   not you mr. whoever-you-are mr. slip on [TS]

00:36:57   the ice and I so I'm reading his book [TS]

00:37:00   and he's like if you have if you breathe [TS]

00:37:02   in the smell of a of a buttercup as [TS]

00:37:05   you're walking through a park you are [TS]

00:37:07   you're off the diet and you need to go [TS]

00:37:09   back and put your head in a bucket of [TS]

00:37:12   frozen you know anywhere for his enemy [TS]

00:37:16   frozen meat helmet and and I was like I [TS]

00:37:19   can't live like this isn't so this isn't [TS]

00:37:21   going to be sustainable [TS]

00:37:22   I'm never going away my food I'm never [TS]

00:37:25   gonna do any of this stupid shit but I [TS]

00:37:28   know what my problem is I mean my [TS]

00:37:30   problem is that I eat one pound of pasta [TS]

00:37:34   average myself down at a table and that [TS]

00:37:37   would not make an interesting 300-page [TS]

00:37:39   book that is the day that is that that [TS]

00:37:41   is a tweet length problem and so eat [TS]

00:37:45   less exercise more is not going to be a [TS]

00:37:47   best-selling book it's gonna be longer [TS]

00:37:49   than that but there it is in a nutshell [TS]

00:37:50   and so taking away taking away this [TS]

00:37:54   spread in the pasta and the rice and and [TS]

00:37:58   sugar candy seems like it a workable [TS]

00:38:01   thing but I am NOT sitting here trying [TS]

00:38:03   to put myself into ketosis and then that [TS]

00:38:06   monitor my pee with the pregnancy strips [TS]

00:38:11   or whatever it is that people did that [TS]

00:38:12   about some of those diabetes strips and [TS]

00:38:15   did you turn to the return color isn't a [TS]

00:38:17   video game I wanted to make a change and [TS]

00:38:19   did it [TS]

00:38:19   um I think it did and they hear it did [TS]

00:38:22   you think did you think you won gallica [TS]

00:38:25   did you win gallon multi-ball I well [TS]

00:38:29   here's okay mom this is not a defense of [TS]

00:38:30   that but i think first of all you there [TS]

00:38:32   has to be a big hook and it has to be a [TS]

00:38:34   certain number of pages long [TS]

00:38:35   the Paleo diet paintball the Paleo diet [TS]

00:38:38   because even worse [TS]

00:38:39   I mean it's i counted it's ten chapters [TS]

00:38:41   before they tell you what to eat [TS]

00:38:43   oh it's just like this is going to [TS]

00:38:46   revolutionize your last nine chapters of [TS]

00:38:48   like I'm gonna get into because you know [TS]

00:38:50   you'll get email but like there's like [TS]

00:38:51   nine chapters of here is the [TS]

00:38:53   indisputable science by this whole [TS]

00:38:56   self-help book somebody said you know [TS]

00:38:57   you know tear the book in half and start [TS]

00:38:59   reading there you know we we opened up [TS]

00:39:01   the stomach of the prehistoric Austrian [TS]

00:39:06   simply too much about it that just it's [TS]

00:39:08   like it's like anything looking [TS]

00:39:10   that turns out stuff like it's okay as [TS]

00:39:13   long as you don't think about it too [TS]

00:39:14   much but you have to sleep in a [TS]

00:39:15   completely dark room that's actually [TS]

00:39:17   great like i do that i turn off [TS]

00:39:18   everything and I want the darkest room [TS]

00:39:20   possible and the reason is because we [TS]

00:39:21   used to strip and caves under the scars [TS]

00:39:23   like well okay but didn't you have a [TS]

00:39:25   fire while you were sleeping indicate [TS]

00:39:27   doesn't count as light right he also [TS]

00:39:29   went to bed at eight o'clock at night [TS]

00:39:30   when the Sun went down as you do but [TS]

00:39:32   because he missed my defense but I'm [TS]

00:39:35   gonna say is that i think as with the [TS]

00:39:37   Marines and cults the more that you can [TS]

00:39:41   dramatize the amount of how much you [TS]

00:39:45   have to plunge yourself into this and [TS]

00:39:47   get rid of your old ideas [TS]

00:39:48   the more you can make people understand [TS]

00:39:51   not even believe or think but one [TS]

00:39:54   hundred percent accept that this is [TS]

00:39:56   going to be a sea change and how they [TS]

00:39:58   deal with the world the more you can do [TS]

00:39:59   that the more the more likely you are to [TS]

00:40:02   succeed with whatever it is and in that [TS]

00:40:04   case I mean you know the context of [TS]

00:40:06   stuff i can I think it's a MacGuffin I [TS]

00:40:07   don't know I don't know there's not much [TS]

00:40:08   science behind that but I do know that [TS]

00:40:10   when you start to think more about what [TS]

00:40:11   you eat you tend to eat better [TS]

00:40:13   yeah well so don't talk about food [TS]

00:40:18   this is great yeah the larger prompt the [TS]

00:40:20   large problem for me is that like a [TS]

00:40:23   adulthood has more or less been a series [TS]

00:40:29   of of exorcisms of of whatever what with [TS]

00:40:37   the various demons that I that I brought [TS]

00:40:39   out of my teen years right at when I [TS]

00:40:40   when I was 24 years old I was like a [TS]

00:40:44   like a Bruegel painting I mean I had I [TS]

00:40:49   had had demons and fairies accompanying [TS]

00:40:53   me everywhere and one by one I have [TS]

00:40:55   invited them to leave and now i'm 44 and [TS]

00:41:01   I've got all these like I've got a bunch [TS]

00:41:04   of quiet demons left you know and and [TS]

00:41:07   and all these like demons the day that I [TS]

00:41:11   can feel like our friends or maybe [TS]

00:41:15   they're not even demons maybe they're [TS]

00:41:17   Icelandic kiddin people or maybe they [TS]

00:41:19   are [TS]

00:41:20   the gnomes or as you know as Shawn [TS]

00:41:26   Nelson was telling me the other day that [TS]

00:41:28   that meditation really helped him and I [TS]

00:41:31   said I mean I do you have liked to have [TS]

00:41:35   George Harrison thoughts now are you [TS]

00:41:38   you started he's starting to think that [TS]

00:41:42   there are you trying to give peace a [TS]

00:41:44   chance and he said no but I do i do [TS]

00:41:48   believe in gnomes now huh which I think [TS]

00:41:51   I guess is a side effect of meditating [TS]

00:41:54   I've never tried it but I've got all [TS]

00:41:56   these I've got all these quiet friends [TS]

00:41:59   that are like oh you're kind of you're [TS]

00:42:01   actually a demon are you you you were [TS]

00:42:04   like drafting off of the loud demons and [TS]

00:42:07   now they're gone and now and can all [TS]

00:42:11   these like these these guys left around [TS]

00:42:14   that I'm like it is adulthood is the [TS]

00:42:16   whole made my whole process going to be [TS]

00:42:17   just like sweeping out my closets my [TS]

00:42:21   whole life and by the time that I get [TS]

00:42:23   like I've finally have got a clean bear [TS]

00:42:27   apartment and I put toothpaste in all [TS]

00:42:29   the nail holes huh and and then i'll be [TS]

00:42:33   ready to take the ferry across this dust [TS]

00:42:35   opportunity to go you just have your [TS]

00:42:37   hands ok done done and that is [TS]

00:42:39   yeah yeah so so I i'm not sure that that [TS]

00:42:42   is a like I'm trying to look I'm trying [TS]

00:42:44   to think big picture now and I don't [TS]

00:42:46   want my life to just be a process of of [TS]

00:42:50   of kicking people out of my mental house [TS]

00:42:53   but trying to get ahold of this food [TS]

00:42:57   thing and then realizing like I mean a [TS]

00:42:59   big a big part of being 44 years old [TS]

00:43:01   having a child and being as yet [TS]

00:43:04   unmarried is addressing this question of [TS]

00:43:09   like it's one thing when you're 27 to [TS]

00:43:13   read a magazine article that says human [TS]

00:43:16   beings are not [TS]

00:43:18   monogamous by nature that is a social [TS]

00:43:22   construct and when you're 27 years old [TS]

00:43:24   you read that you go all right yeah [TS]

00:43:26   totally [TS]

00:43:27   that makes sense i knew that all along [TS]

00:43:28   whatever but at 44 years old [TS]

00:43:31   all my friends are paired off in mated [TS]

00:43:34   couples and there is a certain i have [TS]

00:43:39   been taking on this feeling of or rather [TS]

00:43:42   feelin myself escapes swimming against [TS]

00:43:46   the current in a way that used to give [TS]

00:43:50   me great satisfaction and now feels like [TS]

00:43:54   it is i'm open to the idea that it is an [TS]

00:43:58   unnecessary labor why why am I always [TS]

00:44:01   swimming upstream against my peers [TS]

00:44:05   against nature against the inevitable [TS]

00:44:09   and I don't know how to I don't know how [TS]

00:44:16   to approach it next you know like I [TS]

00:44:18   don't want to it's again it's at the [TS]

00:44:20   thing about the it's a question of [TS]

00:44:22   wearing anchor pans to the supermarket [TS]

00:44:24   at a certain point we feel like [TS]

00:44:28   we feel like a guy who is dating a [TS]

00:44:31   younger girl like when you are 27 and [TS]

00:44:35   you have a 21 year old girlfriend that [TS]

00:44:37   is that's like a socially acceptable and [TS]

00:44:41   it is it is appealing to almost [TS]

00:44:44   everybody I mean they're very few people [TS]

00:44:46   that are gonna look a scan sat that but [TS]

00:44:49   when you are 50 and have a 25-year old [TS]

00:44:53   girlfriend it begins to be unseemly [TS]

00:44:56   maybe it's a long way past being [TS]

00:44:58   unseemly right and at what point do [TS]

00:45:02   level point is chasing girls the [TS]

00:45:06   equivalent of wearing glasses for sure [TS]

00:45:09   or a fantastic for teacher tucked into [TS]

00:45:12   your dad jeans at comic-con are picking [TS]

00:45:15   up your your your daughter you're here [TS]

00:45:17   then 14 year old daughter at her high [TS]

00:45:21   school and and her friend I mean I me [TS]

00:45:24   I'm over here [TS]

00:45:25   hey who's your friend Tommy be so I'm so [TS]

00:45:31   all these things are now you know I'm I [TS]

00:45:33   I believe I may be in middle age now I [TS]

00:45:37   think that science would confirm it for [TS]

00:45:40   your age don't worry about that i'm in [TS]

00:45:41   middle age right i am i'm straight in [TS]

00:45:44   the middle of it and I get your if [TS]

00:45:45   you're lucky you're a middle-aged right [TS]

00:45:47   exactly let's hope and shall law [TS]

00:45:49   oh um but so so what am i doing like it [TS]

00:45:57   might have i'm doing the same things [TS]

00:45:59   I've always done so there's no midlife [TS]

00:46:00   crisis I'd I I can't afford to buy a red [TS]

00:46:03   car [TS]

00:46:04   so what it what am i doing like what is [TS]

00:46:07   what is my what's my big picture [TS]

00:46:09   I'm with you on everything except for [TS]

00:46:11   the relationship thing I you know [TS]

00:46:14   because I major amazed it well but I you [TS]

00:46:18   know I think I think that's some very [TS]

00:46:21   subtle coloration there you know I mean [TS]

00:46:26   it'sit's ya said ya [TS]

00:46:29   I don't know I just I guess I just feel [TS]

00:46:31   like I i'm with you i mean i'm with you [TS]

00:46:33   on 99.9 percent of everything else I [TS]

00:46:35   understand i think i understand why you [TS]

00:46:37   would say their way you feel that way [TS]

00:46:38   totally it makes a hundred percent since [TS]

00:46:40   but the fact it's like feeling it's one [TS]

00:46:41   thing to say like hey you know I really [TS]

00:46:43   like to settle down with somebody that's [TS]

00:46:44   the thing i want to do in the same way [TS]

00:46:45   that I don't need a pound of pasta i [TS]

00:46:47   would like to go i like to pick one and [TS]

00:46:50   and make this make this work for better [TS]

00:46:52   for worse a pic one line them up and [TS]

00:46:54   find a good one I think that's yeah but [TS]

00:46:56   I mean that's you know there's a lot of [TS]

00:46:57   people you know who you know I i think [TS]

00:47:00   that's that's not an unreasonable thing [TS]

00:47:01   one is certainly something to me like [TS]

00:47:03   embarrassed about but the pipe put the [TS]

00:47:05   pressure part is what I don't as much [TS]

00:47:07   you know by because that doesn't seem [TS]

00:47:11   like your ml is that what you're [TS]

00:47:12   struggling with is like well you know [TS]

00:47:14   the pressure part what's bugging you [TS]

00:47:15   know not not an external pressure but [TS]

00:47:17   you know like an internal pressure of [TS]

00:47:20   feeling in some ways tired of explaining [TS]

00:47:24   yourself [TS]

00:47:26   yeah we ever found getting married to [TS]

00:47:28   help the hat but tired of explaining [TS]

00:47:29   myself to myself is I know you know and [TS]

00:47:32   and part of this Merlin I have to be [TS]

00:47:34   honest my mom went on okcupid at 79 [TS]

00:47:42   years old and found an 80 year old guy [TS]

00:47:45   who restores cars she let him and her [TS]

00:47:51   life and now she's dating and Spencer do [TS]

00:47:58   I have no context for this [TS]

00:47:59   no you listen listen to listen to me [TS]

00:48:01   listen to my voice I don't even know [TS]

00:48:03   what to do [TS]

00:48:03   she's dating she spends every waking [TS]

00:48:05   minute with this guy he's a nice guy but [TS]

00:48:09   he's a two year old guy your mother [TS]

00:48:12   never stops surprising me they go for [TS]

00:48:14   drives in his 1947 buick convertible but [TS]

00:48:19   he restored it sounds like the Rain Man [TS]

00:48:21   car [TS]

00:48:22   yeah that's exactly what it is yeah well [TS]

00:48:25   that's a sweet ride [TS]

00:48:27   so she shows up over my house today with [TS]

00:48:28   this guy [TS]

00:48:30   dropping off Gibson the dog what and I'm [TS]

00:48:33   like water with whatever you can get the [TS]

00:48:36   washer [TS]

00:48:37   yeah so what was what was Gibson doing [TS]

00:48:39   here and she's like oh well you know [TS]

00:48:41   we're going over to the to kitsap county [TS]

00:48:45   for the weekend long weekend three days [TS]

00:48:47   so you're watching Gibson and I'm like [TS]

00:48:49   when did I get drafted into this whole [TS]

00:48:51   business I why am I dogsitting now but [TS]

00:48:55   it is very confusing to me as an adult [TS]

00:48:58   man that my mom after a 30-year absence [TS]

00:49:02   from the dating pool has returned to it [TS]

00:49:06   with a bigger but it's also i mean like [TS]

00:49:08   enough to tell you about your mom but I [TS]

00:49:09   mean like it strikes me that it's not [TS]

00:49:11   even something as simple as being out of [TS]

00:49:13   the the dating thing but she seems just [TS]

00:49:15   very resolute in her has a I mean this [TS]

00:49:18   is not absolutely not deceive not [TS]

00:49:20   independent now but she's been so [TS]

00:49:22   resolutely defiantly independent and I'm [TS]

00:49:25   just talking to her conversation she [TS]

00:49:27   doesn't change we talked to her she [TS]

00:49:29   doesn't say things she's exactly the way [TS]

00:49:31   she is and she's not gonna stop making [TS]

00:49:33   sound unkind but she won't say things [TS]

00:49:35   like just to make you happy [TS]

00:49:36   she's very gracious she's very she's a [TS]

00:49:38   very kind person but she doesn't just [TS]

00:49:40   say bullshit [TS]

00:49:41   no she tells you if you said something [TS]

00:49:42   wrong that's right and it's it's really [TS]

00:49:44   is being around her is really really [TS]

00:49:46   stunning experience [TS]

00:49:47   I'm got him thrown for her but it's an [TS]

00:49:49   interesting change [TS]

00:49:50   she's gross she can grow it for freaking [TS]

00:49:52   79 years old ten years ago she said to [TS]

00:49:54   me other people will always be nothing [TS]

00:49:57   but a disappointment to you and you [TS]

00:49:58   should you should just get used to that [TS]

00:50:02   fact and stop trying to make other [TS]

00:50:04   people and important part of your life [TS]

00:50:06   and I was like mom that's that's great [TS]

00:50:10   and everything if we were snow Giants [TS]

00:50:13   but contrary to what you kind of think [TS]

00:50:19   we're not a snow Giants we are not a [TS]

00:50:22   separate race up of a of mountain Giants [TS]

00:50:27   we are normals to within within some [TS]

00:50:33   certain tolerances and I'm you know 30 [TS]

00:50:36   years old i'm not going to eliminate [TS]

00:50:38   other people from my life quite yet and [TS]

00:50:42   she shrugged her shoulders [TS]

00:50:43   roll her eyes and said all right [TS]

00:50:47   whatever do what you gotta do is really [TS]

00:50:51   odd advice with a very clear with the [TS]

00:50:53   clear like sense that she was like [TS]

00:50:56   you'll basically you'll be back it [TS]

00:51:00   you'll be back in ten years with it with [TS]

00:51:02   a thousand disappointments fucking tell [TS]

00:51:05   me how that worked out [TS]

00:51:06   ready to hear my advice ready to hear [TS]

00:51:08   you know creating to to march up typic [TS]

00:51:11   to the crystal castle that we built at [TS]

00:51:14   the North Pole she pulled a switcheroo [TS]

00:51:15   and now she's like to do like driving [TS]

00:51:19   around kitsap county in a 40 in a [TS]

00:51:21   convertible and i'm watching the dog and [TS]

00:51:24   so I'm like what the fuck like okay [TS]

00:51:27   alright alright i might take it back [TS]

00:51:29   this is making more sense now so i'm [TS]

00:51:31   having a little bit of like all right [TS]

00:51:33   well my whole business of like trying to [TS]

00:51:36   find a balance between minded my needs [TS]

00:51:40   as a as a as a half's no giant [TS]

00:51:45   half-human and my have to be a fighter [TS]

00:51:49   or can be an illusionist I feel like you [TS]

00:51:53   like a paladin on speaking of Maryland [TS]

00:51:56   versus Avant i would like to give you a [TS]

00:51:58   parade magazine level of sophistication [TS]

00:52:00   observation that may or may not be [TS]

00:52:02   germane because it's going to involve [TS]

00:52:04   ken jennings breaks it's because i'm a [TS]

00:52:07   little mad at him right now [TS]

00:52:08   really ok i write that down let's talk [TS]

00:52:10   about automatic huh [TS]

00:52:11   okay i won't have I'm always interested [TS]

00:52:13   in learning about your grudges [TS]

00:52:15   um I don't know that I've been thinking [TS]

00:52:18   about this later I its it seems sort of [TS]

00:52:20   related [TS]

00:52:21   it's a human being a little kid and you [TS]

00:52:23   always can't wait for the future when [TS]

00:52:25   things are going to be better [TS]

00:52:26   you can't wait until the school day is [TS]

00:52:28   done right you can't wait until the [TS]

00:52:30   school week is over so you can have a [TS]

00:52:31   weekend [TS]

00:52:32   you can't wait to Christmas break like [TS]

00:52:34   you know you just can't you just can't [TS]

00:52:35   wait and God knows you can't wait to [TS]

00:52:37   summer vacation [TS]

00:52:38   well at least you know once i'm 17 and [TS]

00:52:41   go to an r-rated movie want some 18 and [TS]

00:52:42   so on and so on and and you know these [TS]

00:52:45   so for so long it's I don't mean I'm not [TS]

00:52:48   trying to sound wise but I think you do [TS]

00:52:50   at least I spent a lot of my youth just [TS]

00:52:53   thinking about like how when can I put [TS]

00:52:55   all this behind me [TS]

00:52:57   and get to what's actually the good [TS]

00:52:58   stuff in life is and you know the [TS]

00:53:01   obvious you know whatever bobby [TS]

00:53:03   goldsboro version of this is that you [TS]

00:53:05   know your youth goes by DD but now it's [TS]

00:53:07   really thats yes that's currently try [TS]

00:53:10   but of course it is true which makes it [TS]

00:53:11   but right things are true but then the [TS]

00:53:14   other thing I've been thinking about [TS]

00:53:15   lately there's no man's land that you [TS]

00:53:16   might call your thirties where you know [TS]

00:53:19   that's just normal life or whatever but [TS]

00:53:20   then the things I'm thinking about now [TS]

00:53:22   and when you were talking about your [TS]

00:53:24   demons and gnomes and frost giants [TS]

00:53:26   what is a snow chance it isn't also [TS]

00:53:29   isn't it interesting that when you get [TS]

00:53:31   to our age now you start thinking about [TS]

00:53:34   how much of the stuff from the preceding [TS]

00:53:37   40 years you've got to get rid of like [TS]

00:53:40   all that time you were just thinking [TS]

00:53:41   about what's going to happen in the [TS]

00:53:42   future whether or not you're actually [TS]

00:53:43   planning for it you're just waiting for [TS]

00:53:46   the life that's out there for you [TS]

00:53:47   somewhere and so you spend all this time [TS]

00:53:49   just waiting for it to go by DD and then [TS]

00:53:51   isn't it funny that you get to a certain [TS]

00:53:52   point you're like fucking my pants don't [TS]

00:53:54   fit all these years of we're eating i [TS]

00:53:57   have to shut that all of these years of [TS]

00:53:58   thinking I could I could smoke three [TS]

00:54:00   packs of cigarettes a day and be okay i [TS]

00:54:02   gotta shut that all these years of [TS]

00:54:03   thinking that eventually love will fall [TS]

00:54:05   in my lap I gotta shed that and so then [TS]

00:54:07   and this is what your mom's story i [TS]

00:54:08   think is Jermaine is that I don't know [TS]

00:54:10   if you feel that way but like I I'm not [TS]

00:54:12   like you know I'm not a plastic about it [TS]

00:54:14   but I do think about that now it's weird [TS]

00:54:16   that like instead of thinking about the [TS]

00:54:18   future in some ways now I feel like I've [TS]

00:54:20   got to address the past and in the end [TS]

00:54:23   the extent to which you feel yourself [TS]

00:54:24   having to address your past can become a [TS]

00:54:29   skin stifle your actually weirdly bright [TS]

00:54:33   future that you could have you know [TS]

00:54:35   because you've gotta dress the past [TS]

00:54:36   right you gotta settle these things that [TS]

00:54:38   are still around but you know in the [TS]

00:54:40   case of your mom I think that's kind of [TS]

00:54:42   weird [TS]

00:54:43   it's courageous is it for her likes put [TS]

00:54:46   behind her all that resolution and to [TS]

00:54:48   try this is really weird new thing but [TS]

00:54:51   I'm you could do you feel that at all I [TS]

00:54:52   mean like everything you're describing [TS]

00:54:54   in some ways and the setting aside the [TS]

00:54:56   the relationship part all stuff about [TS]

00:54:58   food and substances and stuff [TS]

00:55:00   amazing that it's kind of a certain kind [TS]

00:55:01   of chickens coming home to roost really [TS]

00:55:02   well I can't really move on to this one [TS]

00:55:04   thing until I sort of address these old [TS]

00:55:06   things [TS]

00:55:07   oh yeah i mean when i think about [TS]

00:55:09   when I I mean whenever I address my past [TS]

00:55:14   I feel like I feel like d'Artagnan on a [TS]

00:55:18   bridge fighting off like 15 granted ears [TS]

00:55:22   a where you know for whatever reason [TS]

00:55:27   three of them all attacked me at the [TS]

00:55:29   same time and i am able to block them [TS]

00:55:31   with one Perry and then I turned to the [TS]

00:55:34   other side of the bridge and you know [TS]

00:55:35   you remember the way to the Grenadiers [TS]

00:55:38   is always attack and threes what makes [TS]

00:55:41   it a run actually kick 3 these guys as [TS]

00:55:43   you turn around you get another three [TS]

00:55:44   guys that kind of thing with arbonne [TS]

00:55:46   international there and so is very [TS]

00:55:48   effective it seems like the more [TS]

00:55:49   training right it does and in and and [TS]

00:55:51   but what it enables you to do is fight [TS]

00:55:53   12 men at a time because they're only [TS]

00:55:56   attacking three at a time and all three [TS]

00:55:57   of them are making the same attack each [TS]

00:55:59   time i get three guys attacked you one [TS]

00:56:01   when I one went low and 11 in the middle [TS]

00:56:03   you'd there would be no defense but [TS]

00:56:05   they're a bunch of guys with long does [TS]

00:56:06   in the back and some guys with bikes [TS]

00:56:08   here and another guy with a dagger [TS]

00:56:10   coming over the side of the bridge one [TS]

00:56:12   blunderbuss and the whole payment but in [TS]

00:56:16   any case that is right it's disruptive [TS]

00:56:18   is what its I spend a lot of time I [TS]

00:56:20   don't know if people other people are [TS]

00:56:21   like this I confess this one time to a [TS]

00:56:24   friend of mine and he like got real [TS]

00:56:26   quiet we're walking downtown and I was [TS]

00:56:28   like do you ever right before you go to [TS]

00:56:30   sleep late bed and just imagine like [TS]

00:56:36   kidnapping all your enemies in a place [TS]

00:56:41   where you blacked out the windows and [TS]

00:56:42   take them to a desert prison camp that [TS]

00:56:45   you've built and then like keeping them [TS]

00:56:49   in isolation and feeding them [TS]

00:56:51   hallucinogens and showing them like [TS]

00:56:55   weird movies trying to drive them insane [TS]

00:56:59   leaving the lights on all the time and [TS]

00:57:01   it said no I'll come on everybody thinks [TS]

00:57:06   about that [TS]

00:57:06   come on seriously like what does isn't [TS]

00:57:08   that a way that you comfort yourself as [TS]

00:57:11   you are drifting off into sleep he tried [TS]

00:57:13   to prime your dreams with a little bit [TS]

00:57:16   of like hey I am kidnapping all the bad [TS]

00:57:22   people as part of a cross-country sweep [TS]

00:57:25   just the worst one you could your cross [TS]

00:57:29   between like Nick Fury and John Wayne [TS]

00:57:30   Gacy but with Ricky's is right and and [TS]

00:57:34   my Victim list is also lebs like Rush [TS]

00:57:37   Limbaugh look at her get hurt ken [TS]

00:57:39   jennings dick cheney no ken is i mean [TS]

00:57:42   i'm at can but I'm not gonna put it on [TS]

00:57:44   wear sarees not worthy of a brainwashing [TS]

00:57:46   not gonna put him in a desert prison [TS]

00:57:48   camp and feed him he loses the jensen [TS]

00:57:49   and keep the lights on all day [TS]

00:57:52   good for you no no he and I are he and I [TS]

00:57:55   can resolve our differences on the [TS]

00:57:56   street but I think Michael bottom huh [TS]

00:58:00   Cheney and I like there's a real [TS]

00:58:02   imbalance is not enough light to turn on [TS]

00:58:04   for that guy and I I've created a whole [TS]

00:58:07   I've created a whole apartment [TS]

00:58:09   underground with Dick Cheney's going to [TS]

00:58:13   live while I very suddenly become his [TS]

00:58:16   friend i will be in a lab coat so he'll [TS]

00:58:20   know i have some authority and he also [TS]

00:58:23   will know that he can't get out with a [TS]

00:58:25   clipboard and photos of his kids [TS]

00:58:27   yeah yeah but it'll be a comfortable [TS]

00:58:29   apartment it's not going to be like [TS]

00:58:30   uncomfortable for him there and you know [TS]

00:58:34   and he and there will be a video monitor [TS]

00:58:36   where he can talk to recordings of [TS]

00:58:39   possible and it's like Silence of the [TS]

00:58:40   Lambs meets a little bit pow [TS]

00:58:43   that's right but little by little i'm [TS]

00:58:45   going to up the dose of LSD and his [TS]

00:58:49   drinking water [TS]

00:58:51   and i'm going to introduce like [TS]

00:58:52   increasingly more confusing and [TS]

00:58:54   cigarettes events it's a total gas [TS]

00:58:57   lighting situation where is the picture [TS]

00:58:59   of his family that's always been on the [TS]

00:59:01   end table is just going to be subtly [TS]

00:59:03   modified something that used to be in [TS]

00:59:05   the background isn't going to be there [TS]

00:59:06   when he finally passes out you switch [TS]

00:59:09   out for us like getting slightly smaller [TS]

00:59:11   class [TS]

00:59:12   yeah that's right it's gonna be exactly [TS]

00:59:13   that type of situation grammar different [TS]

00:59:16   but the bathroom is going to be six [TS]

00:59:19   inches smaller in on all dimensions all [TS]

00:59:22   this is so good [TS]

00:59:23   that's when it's gonna end in my big [TS]

00:59:25   cats it's gonna it's gonna be like it's [TS]

00:59:27   gonna happen over the course of like [TS]

00:59:29   years like you said it i think about [TS]

00:59:32   that stuff gonna be living in this [TS]

00:59:34   underground bunker and his apartment [TS]

00:59:35   will be one of many apartments [TS]

00:59:39   look up an optical yeah when the back [TS]

00:59:41   we'll be living nearby they will be [TS]

00:59:44   building your messages to each other [TS]

00:59:46   like Steve McQueen know they will have [TS]

00:59:48   no awareness of one another you'll get a [TS]

00:59:50   baseball through against the wall except [TS]

00:59:52   periodically I may introduce one of them [TS]

00:59:54   into one of the other departments like [TS]

00:59:56   he'll wake up in the morning and tell [TS]

00:59:58   their [TS]

00:59:58   their [TS]

01:00:00   they will be sharing an apartment maybe [TS]

01:00:01   glenn beck is dressed as a fancy society [TS]

01:00:03   lady but at this point [TS]

01:00:05   yeah they will at this point they will [TS]

01:00:07   have been their minds will have been [TS]

01:00:08   broken down it will be like the movie [TS]

01:00:11   seven kind of insist that i'm sorry to [TS]

01:00:14   keep trying to drop all these references [TS]

01:00:16   but it'sit's so many of the darkest [TS]

01:00:18   aspects of like 300 years of literature [TS]

01:00:21   well you know really it's medieval in a [TS]

01:00:22   lot of ways but with the ability with [TS]

01:00:24   the technology what you can do to really [TS]

01:00:26   fuck somebody up with a little bit of [TS]

01:00:27   planning and that's the thing it has to [TS]

01:00:29   be it has to go slowly and in order for [TS]

01:00:32   it to be interesting i would have to [TS]

01:00:33   have a would have to be doing the [TS]

01:00:35   simultaneously to a lot of bad men go [TS]

01:00:38   for it to scale [TS]

01:00:39   yeah just because i don't want to spend [TS]

01:00:41   my whole day thinking about what kind of [TS]

01:00:43   thing about the subtle ways I'm fucking [TS]

01:00:45   with like Jace exchange it would be kind [TS]

01:00:47   of weird to just do it the one guy but [TS]

01:00:49   there's something kind of grand about [TS]

01:00:51   doing it to 80 yeah like 80 guys in [TS]

01:00:54   apartments built off of a retired a [TS]

01:00:56   missile silo some of those are mine [TS]

01:01:00   shaft and stopped somewhere way way out [TS]

01:01:02   in my domain where no one is suspicious [TS]

01:01:06   of the fact that we have likes a bunch [TS]

01:01:07   of trailers with with the with satellite [TS]

01:01:10   dishes on them kind of how educational [TS]

01:01:12   changed pockets and and and we're just [TS]

01:01:16   running this really long game on [TS]

01:01:19   everybody [TS]

01:01:20   anyway this is how I put myself to sleep [TS]

01:01:22   at night and I've met and I have not [TS]

01:01:24   found a lot of my friends want to talk [TS]

01:01:27   about it i think that's I think that's [TS]

01:01:29   very I think it's a shame that people [TS]

01:01:31   not admit that they thought about things [TS]

01:01:32   like that not know me i'm not [TS]

01:01:34   particularly no i'm not a vengeful [TS]

01:01:36   person but i do like fucking with people [TS]

01:01:38   so the gas lighting part of it is really [TS]

01:01:41   appealing to me like if I if it's one of [TS]

01:01:43   those things where it's like one of [TS]

01:01:43   those ethical questions like you know if [TS]

01:01:46   nobody's around you steal a Snickers bar [TS]

01:01:47   from the crippled kids box you know I [TS]

01:01:49   mean except in this case is dick cheney [TS]

01:01:51   i think--not know what you're talking [TS]

01:01:54   about yeah you never had a job but [TS]

01:01:55   likely workplaces and they'll have like [TS]

01:01:57   little cardboard box dykes cam to begin [TS]

01:01:59   with on the truth hey they hang two [TS]

01:02:01   bananas from the roof and there's a box [TS]

01:02:02   over in the corner and you're supposed [TS]

01:02:04   to figure out what will the monkey go [TS]

01:02:05   for the tea tour will grab the rug [TS]

01:02:07   alright its basic social sciences like [TS]

01:02:09   applicator right the the wire money [TS]

01:02:12   what the metal wire mom with the nipple [TS]

01:02:14   exactly exactly that terry cloth [TS]

01:02:16   oh but you know I know you're trying to [TS]

01:02:18   get to the point but i would love to [TS]

01:02:19   talk about the apartments because the [TS]

01:02:20   thing is the thing is they're going to [TS]

01:02:22   be clinging right it'sit's sore again [TS]

01:02:24   it's sort of like when I think about the [TS]

01:02:25   greatest get papillon and papillon when [TS]

01:02:27   he won't he won't say who gave him the [TS]

01:02:29   coconut not going to turn over Dustin [TS]

01:02:32   Hoffman and so they bring the shade they [TS]

01:02:34   put the shade over and all he has is [TS]

01:02:37   completely losing his mind eating [TS]

01:02:39   roaches no spoilers but it's just a tiny [TS]

01:02:41   little crack of of light coming through [TS]

01:02:43   and it's like you do anything to have [TS]

01:02:45   something you can depend on the first [TS]

01:02:46   thing he does when he walks into cells [TS]

01:02:47   egos like nine paces or something he [TS]

01:02:49   counts off the number of paces from all [TS]

01:02:50   the wall and so he has this one now I [TS]

01:02:53   mean really there's something that stone [TS]

01:02:54   walls and floor and then two buckets to [TS]

01:02:56   come in and that's it that's all that's [TS]

01:02:57   all his day is but think about Dick [TS]

01:02:59   Cheney right thing what sometimes [TS]

01:03:01   there's an ashtray somebody's not astray [TS]

01:03:03   it's it's it's it's it's a great Plato's [TS]

01:03:05   cave because what the reality that I [TS]

01:03:09   would be able to show dick cheney like [TS]

01:03:11   his windows in his apartment because [TS]

01:03:13   even though it is in a mineshaft it will [TS]

01:03:16   be there will be windows technologies [TS]

01:03:18   there and there will end and outside the [TS]

01:03:21   windows like the day will change right [TS]

01:03:24   at the Sun will come up the sun will go [TS]

01:03:26   down the right the right temperature of [TS]

01:03:28   light and yes he's not gonna think he's [TS]

01:03:31   in a mineshaft he's gonna think he's in [TS]

01:03:34   a high-rise apartment in in a major [TS]

01:03:38   metropolitan because the kids put him in [TS]

01:03:40   a home and he's constantly trying the [TS]

01:03:42   door like why what why can't I get out [TS]

01:03:46   of this hotel room he's constantly [TS]

01:03:47   calling room service you might be [TS]

01:03:48   doubting himself right and there's a [TS]

01:03:50   there's an obsequious guy that answers [TS]

01:03:53   the phone every time he he's like unlock [TS]

01:03:56   this door [TS]

01:03:57   yes sir we'll send the man right up like [TS]

01:04:00   for 15 more years however long he lives [TS]

01:04:02   and then eventually one day it's [TS]

01:04:04   unlocked he opens it and it's exactly [TS]

01:04:05   the same apartment next door haha it [TS]

01:04:08   goes it goes on and on and on i mean you [TS]

01:04:11   know you because because you're able [TS]

01:04:13   it's like D&D don't you want to plan out [TS]

01:04:15   that entire the entire dungeon you have [TS]

01:04:17   to plan you have to plan it gets an X [TS]

01:04:19   paper i would love to plan that out you [TS]

01:04:21   have to plan it in such a way that you [TS]

01:04:22   can do things like change the dimensions [TS]

01:04:25   of the room in a small way that he would [TS]

01:04:28   register without I mean but it cannot [TS]

01:04:33   get you eat that you can never give away [TS]

01:04:35   the game [TS]

01:04:36   ok but like something as simple as and [TS]

01:04:37   again it is like software or making an [TS]

01:04:40   automobile if you plan it out ahead of [TS]

01:04:41   time it won't be costly to make changes [TS]

01:04:43   we write you planned it all out so you [TS]

01:04:46   can have some rails [TS]

01:04:47   it's all I have something on rails and [TS]

01:04:49   hydraulics like you've got a wall that's [TS]

01:04:51   got a window and he can't quite see out [TS]

01:04:52   of right now but while he's sleeping [TS]

01:04:54   the wall is it which is on like sliding [TS]

01:04:57   hydraulic rails the wall silently and [TS]

01:05:00   undetectably raises six inches while [TS]

01:05:03   he's sleeping [TS]

01:05:04   if he wakes up the next day and the [TS]

01:05:05   window is six inches higher up but [TS]

01:05:07   here's the thing about all these guys [TS]

01:05:08   like my list of you know my enemies list [TS]

01:05:11   my Nixon's enemies list my tension list [TS]

01:05:15   you know you got Jamie you got Limbaugh [TS]

01:05:17   you got a glenn beck you got all the [TS]

01:05:18   heroes on there yeah and and the list [TS]

01:05:21   goes on it's much deeper course then [TS]

01:05:22   these knees but what these three will do [TS]

01:05:24   the thing about them is that they are [TS]

01:05:27   done they will do in a pinch but they [TS]

01:05:28   are very smart guys like smart that's [TS]

01:05:32   the problem aware guys feel better [TS]

01:05:34   got ya the thing is you can't move [TS]

01:05:37   anything six inches because they're [TS]

01:05:39   gonna be like wait a minute and then [TS]

01:05:42   they're like then you then they know [TS]

01:05:44   like they would have to be in there for [TS]

01:05:46   a year before you did anything before [TS]

01:05:49   you made any they would just have to get [TS]

01:05:51   adjusted to the idea they were penned a [TS]

01:05:53   year having everything be mind-numbingly [TS]

01:05:55   identical yep yep which I am that you [TS]

01:05:58   would introduce the psychedelics yet [TS]

01:05:59   maybe watching television [TS]

01:06:02   it would obviously be on a pre-recorded [TS]

01:06:03   feed so you'd be QB curating the [TS]

01:06:05   television that they had so that it [TS]

01:06:07   looked like real television but it was [TS]

01:06:10   just suddenly government was completely [TS]

01:06:12   in your control [TS]

01:06:13   always keeping it could be ninety-five [TS]

01:06:15   percent like it could be like they [TS]

01:06:16   watched dick Van Dyke right as they seem [TS]

01:06:18   like there's five seasons and Dick Van [TS]

01:06:20   Dyke Show all the dick Van Dyke's and [TS]

01:06:22   then maybe when you show them again [TS]

01:06:24   there there's like scenes that are cut [TS]

01:06:26   out right or or maybe you know just for [TS]

01:06:29   for a few seconds dick and Excise bulge [TS]

01:06:31   you know mr. look just a little flash of [TS]

01:06:34   cock [TS]

01:06:36   they don't foresee not a flat [TS]

01:06:40   aeronautics they're not they're not a [TS]

01:06:42   hundred percent sure that they saw what [TS]

01:06:44   they think they saw but like you're also [TS]

01:06:46   you're also taking current news programs [TS]

01:06:49   and just modifying them slightly so that [TS]

01:06:52   they are so that their senior instructor [TS]

01:06:54   in your area [TS]

01:06:56   see I think this could be a little bit [TS]

01:06:57   like a Marvel alternate universe and hit [TS]

01:07:00   that is not everybody's watching the [TS]

01:07:01   same shows this is the beauty part [TS]

01:07:03   so when rush limbaugh and Henry [TS]

01:07:04   Kissinger finally meet in the mess hall [TS]

01:07:06   they're gonna have a completely [TS]

01:07:07   different idea what's happening last [TS]

01:07:08   five exactly exactly and this is the [TS]

01:07:12   this is the great sort of trouble [TS]

01:07:14   watchin jennifer aniston instead of the [TS]

01:07:18   truman show aspect of it is now tell me [TS]

01:07:20   who would not want to watch a 24-hour [TS]

01:07:24   feed of Rush Limbaugh slowly going [TS]

01:07:26   insane [TS]

01:07:28   it's pretty popular right now right if I [TS]

01:07:31   could just if I could just arrange this [TS]

01:07:33   in such a way that yes yeah we're [TS]

01:07:34   running it through a Russian server farm [TS]

01:07:37   and it was on it you know seven proxies [TS]

01:07:40   going it was it was through tor and not [TS]

01:07:44   no one you know as Deep Web people but [TS]

01:07:46   then you could subscribe to it with [TS]

01:07:48   behind and it's it's not like Comcast [TS]

01:07:52   it's totally unbundled yeah you can [TS]

01:07:54   certainly get value packs like you could [TS]

01:07:56   buy a season of sports you can buy all [TS]

01:07:57   right wing commentators absolutely you [TS]

01:07:59   could have a rod down there and see the [TS]

01:08:02   steroids guy [TS]

01:08:03   yeah you could hear ambitions are very [TS]

01:08:06   broad John you have all your favorites [TS]

01:08:08   will think what's amazing is when you [TS]

01:08:10   think about abducting these guys in such [TS]

01:08:14   a way that they wake up in a hotel [TS]

01:08:16   strange hotel room and they're not aware [TS]

01:08:19   of having been started started tagged [TS]

01:08:24   and bagged and shipped to a Wyoming [TS]

01:08:27   missile silo and installed in a hotel [TS]

01:08:30   room that makes them think they're in [TS]

01:08:31   Chicago [TS]

01:08:32   oh it's a great it's a fun time i mean [TS]

01:08:35   it is like a kind of super train [TS]

01:08:37   rendition program em right i mean in [TS]

01:08:41   some ways in some ways he is so you're [TS]

01:08:43   going in there [TS]

01:08:44   here's the other thing I I don't want to [TS]

01:08:45   micromanage your project but obviously [TS]

01:08:47   you're going to have the resources to be [TS]

01:08:48   able to do this the way you would like [TS]

01:08:49   to do [TS]

01:08:49   are you we wouldn't want to do it right [TS]

01:08:50   i mean that this is a vanity project and [TS]

01:08:52   it has to be splendid [TS]

01:08:53   yeah no question about like what if it [TS]

01:08:55   was for example like a a cabin it likes [TS]

01:08:59   a dick cheney has something evil cabin [TS]

01:09:01   that you like to go to any man he wakes [TS]

01:09:03   up he's on vacation mondays in the cabin [TS]

01:09:05   Tuesday's in the cabin [TS]

01:09:07   Wednesday's in the cabin Thursday he's [TS]

01:09:08   in the cabin like he wakes up and it's [TS]

01:09:11   an exact duplicate of his cabin right [TS]

01:09:13   Oh what now the door doesn't work and [TS]

01:09:16   take the deduction bolt sure it's the [TS]

01:09:18   trout fishing cabin that he and Scalia [TS]

01:09:20   who go up to in Idaho or whatever and [TS]

01:09:23   see on the list total of Scalia has got [TS]

01:09:25   a whole there's a whole dream I mean [TS]

01:09:29   skill it will actually be giving [TS]

01:09:30   lectures to a to a non-existent like [TS]

01:09:34   class of law school students thought a [TS]

01:09:37   regular he's going to have appointments [TS]

01:09:38   committee is going to have appts the [TS]

01:09:41   only time you gonna keep busy but but [TS]

01:09:43   yeah right dick cheney's trout fishing [TS]

01:09:45   cabin and he's just gonna be like the [TS]

01:09:46   doors Jam he's going to look out the [TS]

01:09:49   windows it's gonna be exactly the same [TS]

01:09:50   for any her he won't be able to get out [TS]

01:09:54   he'll try everything it i'm sure he has [TS]

01:09:59   a drawer full of tools and they're [TS]

01:10:01   practically duplicate it is fake diamond [TS]

01:10:04   cap [TS]

01:10:05   yeah yeah all the tools are there except [TS]

01:10:07   they're all just a little bit like [TS]

01:10:08   little broken or a little like oh why [TS]

01:10:11   does this always gone through so many [TS]

01:10:13   screwdrivers am left-handed scissors [TS]

01:10:14   after two years after two years in the [TS]

01:10:21   apartment [TS]

01:10:22   thus it all the scissors become [TS]

01:10:23   left-handed so let's think about this [TS]

01:10:25   like tonight i was making I was making a [TS]

01:10:27   sodastream altered my house and I knew I [TS]

01:10:30   had just drank drunk I just I just had a [TS]

01:10:33   bottle of soda stream I knew there was [TS]

01:10:34   an empty soda stream and there had to be [TS]

01:10:36   a cap there's always a cap and for the [TS]

01:10:38   life of me I could not find a cap i [TS]

01:10:40   could find another cap but that wasn't [TS]

01:10:41   the point the point was I felt like I [TS]

01:10:43   was losing my goddamn mind because [TS]

01:10:44   somewhere in this area that i have been [TS]

01:10:46   drinking this there should be a cap and [TS]

01:10:48   you know I really did feel like I was [TS]

01:10:50   losing my mind now imagine if somebody [TS]

01:10:52   had to live with years and years and [TS]

01:10:54   years of that as their my memory has [TS]

01:10:55   already been declining as the cognition [TS]

01:10:57   is also been getting a little skewed as [TS]

01:10:59   the politics that increasingly right [TS]

01:11:00   wing is going to you don't have to have [TS]

01:11:03   at me missing soda cast before they're [TS]

01:11:04   going to really start thinking about [TS]

01:11:05   their life combined with gradually [TS]

01:11:08   increasing doses of LSD and their [TS]

01:11:10   drinking water occasionally occasionally [TS]

01:11:14   some methamphetamine an occasional [TS]

01:11:16   Argentine or something that they give [TS]

01:11:18   you enough to screw up it's like that [TS]

01:11:19   you know they're going to torture you [TS]

01:11:21   and understand the torture obviously [TS]

01:11:23   we're not talking about torture this is [TS]

01:11:24   you know and tradition and and so but [TS]

01:11:26   the things you want to keep slapping [TS]

01:11:27   awake right you get some coffee wake up [TS]

01:11:28   if we're gonna hit you want to be awake [TS]

01:11:30   for this [TS]

01:11:31   you give them just enough to be a little [TS]

01:11:32   bit confused all the time and [TS]

01:11:34   occasionally up it or they are the ants [TS]

01:11:36   are you gonna give them like some hunter [TS]

01:11:39   s thompson level like drinking glass [TS]

01:11:41   full of psychedelics I mean occasionally [TS]

01:11:44   it goes away occasionally it comes back [TS]

01:11:46   in full force the community to have to [TS]

01:11:48   just any kind of mix just gotta mix it [TS]

01:11:50   up like one getting machi ready will you [TS]

01:11:51   give some math other days you give him [TS]

01:11:54   some kind of like you know barbiturates [TS]

01:11:56   yep and some days it's it's just you [TS]

01:11:58   know prepared is it the peyote in the [TS]

01:12:00   end the day comes [TS]

01:12:02   yeah and then and then occasionally [TS]

01:12:03   there's a very very very low-grade [TS]

01:12:07   electric shock that's happening except [TS]

01:12:12   the door like throughout the house like [TS]

01:12:14   I had a friend had a friend who used to [TS]

01:12:18   work in the on the docks up in up in [TS]

01:12:22   Kodiak in Alaska and he was down in the [TS]

01:12:26   bilge of a ship in like waist-deep water [TS]

01:12:30   like setting up a pump to to pump out [TS]

01:12:35   this like build full of fish guts and [TS]

01:12:38   and seawater and the boat connected with [TS]

01:12:44   an overhead electrical wire like somehow [TS]

01:12:48   the wire was draped across the boat and [TS]

01:12:52   the boat moved in its mooring and [TS]

01:12:53   connected with this wire and this friend [TS]

01:12:56   of mine down in the Builder this boat [TS]

01:12:59   was like hey hey guys something [TS]

01:13:02   something's wrong [TS]

01:13:03   he's getting shocked but it's just [TS]

01:13:10   it's just mitigated enough by like being [TS]

01:13:14   throughout this boat which is also [TS]

01:13:17   sitting on the ocean that his friends [TS]

01:13:20   standing on the doctor like what what's [TS]

01:13:22   the matter he's like I don't know [TS]

01:13:23   something bad [TS]

01:13:26   get me out of here and they're like [TS]

01:13:27   what's the matter saying again get here [TS]

01:13:29   you know and he spent piece he spent a [TS]

01:13:33   couple of minutes [TS]

01:13:36   waist-deep in fish guts and seawater [TS]

01:13:38   being kind of electrocuted and probably [TS]

01:13:42   probably felt like any like an extreme [TS]

01:13:44   version of like the shivers [TS]

01:13:46   yeah I like pins you-know-who oh yeah [TS]

01:13:49   but he couldn't quite describe it or [TS]

01:13:53   couldn't quite tell what it was but it [TS]

01:13:54   was having it was kind of affecting his [TS]

01:13:56   nervously maddening [TS]

01:13:58   yeah where he's just like hey you guys [TS]

01:14:00   help me get me out of here and there [TS]

01:14:02   like uh ok and you know and as soon as [TS]

01:14:05   somebody else touches the boat from the [TS]

01:14:07   doc they're like oh bad you know but now [TS]

01:14:11   they really now they're like oh shit we [TS]

01:14:13   gotta get him out of there i got to pull [TS]

01:14:14   it on that one [TS]

01:14:15   yeah they finally hoisted him out of the [TS]

01:14:17   hole that he was fine but it was like [TS]

01:14:20   one of those kind of you get this sense [TS]

01:14:23   of electricity of like well it's either [TS]

01:14:24   year it's either you're not being [TS]

01:14:26   electrocuted or you are being you're [TS]

01:14:28   being killed you apply that tactically [TS]

01:14:30   to potentially almost everything in the [TS]

01:14:31   room [TS]

01:14:32   sure everything in the place would have [TS]

01:14:33   you know there would be a therapy a [TS]

01:14:35   screen like a metal screen it will be [TS]

01:14:38   like the opposite of a Faraday cage [TS]

01:14:40   yeah exactly it would so you'd be you'd [TS]

01:14:44   wake up in the morning to be walking [TS]

01:14:45   around the house and just be like oh I [TS]

01:14:47   feel weird not seeing you know that you [TS]

01:14:49   could if you were like a really evil [TS]

01:14:50   mangala type you could like give someone [TS]

01:14:53   anthrax like that's not cool but what if [TS]

01:14:55   you gave somebody something where they [TS]

01:14:57   always felt like they were just getting [TS]

01:14:58   a cold [TS]

01:14:59   it's like five years when that sock I [TS]

01:15:01   think it's pretty clear by this [TS]

01:15:03   description that I am a kind of mangala [TS]

01:15:05   type how you just want to sleep at night [TS]

01:15:08   this isn't this is not bad [TS]

01:15:10   yeah this is just fun times and and [TS]

01:15:13   really you know and and that list [TS]

01:15:14   expands and contracts sometimes I feel [TS]

01:15:16   like budgetary constraints are disallow [TS]

01:15:20   me from having a tea full apart [TS]

01:15:22   the strength living walls in the [TS]

01:15:26   opposite of Varitek it and and complete [TS]

01:15:29   control over every environmental aspect [TS]

01:15:31   and also given TV but the people inside [TS]

01:15:35   can look out the windows and feel like [TS]

01:15:37   they're in the world i sometimes [TS]

01:15:39   budgetary constraints restrict my guest [TS]

01:15:42   list and I don't fully have like 80 guys [TS]

01:15:45   in there sometimes it's a smaller group [TS]

01:15:47   but it really is you know an end and [TS]

01:15:49   some guys come on guys go up I mean [TS]

01:15:51   Donald Trump has a permanent space but [TS]

01:15:55   like I'm not really invested in a rod I [TS]

01:15:58   don't care about him I don't wanna I'm [TS]

01:16:01   not i would have nothing to say to him [TS]

01:16:02   what would you want with your opinion [TS]

01:16:04   would you be open to moving this beyond [TS]

01:16:07   your very well found a personal grudges [TS]

01:16:08   to something where you might want to do [TS]

01:16:10   this on a for-hire basis [TS]

01:16:12   no here's what I'm saying no no I'm not [TS]

01:16:14   just saying you know you don't want to [TS]

01:16:15   become a kind of cabin hitman but I'm [TS]

01:16:17   saying if if somebody came to you and [TS]

01:16:19   they made they said they came and they [TS]

01:16:20   said Don Corleone on this the day of [TS]

01:16:22   your daughter's wedding [TS]

01:16:23   I want you to fuck with my ex-husband [TS]

01:16:24   for five years no I feel like this is I [TS]

01:16:26   feel like this project is a is reserved [TS]

01:16:30   for people with geopolitical [TS]

01:16:32   significance or at least American level [TS]

01:16:35   of American popular significantly lower [TS]

01:16:38   from college who wouldn't want it [TS]

01:16:39   no no I'm not interested in him but all [TS]

01:16:42   time sneaking into the army the schola [TS]

01:16:44   pen i think i could find a place for him [TS]

01:16:47   but is that ok is the French right-wing [TS]

01:16:51   that kind of there's a cabin Nazi [TS]

01:16:54   agitator you know there's like every [TS]

01:16:56   country has got one guy who I mean like [TS]

01:17:01   Putin is obviously a bad guy but [TS]

01:17:04   personally there's something so smug [TS]

01:17:08   about Putin and so like he's such an ear [TS]

01:17:12   to get pretty mundane villain he's not [TS]

01:17:13   like I need o-level cool villain [TS]

01:17:15   yeah he's he is a Bond villain he is the [TS]

01:17:19   from look at George Lazenby movie like [TS]

01:17:21   he's like a real bond he's an [TS]

01:17:22   old-fashioned Bond villain who's like [TS]

01:17:24   mr. bombs expected to die I want 1 [TS]

01:17:28   million dollars so i don't care about [TS]

01:17:31   Putin that they're broken plenty people [TS]

01:17:33   that are going to tell me like Putin is [TS]

01:17:35   bad [TS]

01:17:35   around fucking cabin dungeon exactly the [TS]

01:17:38   dictator of kazakh stan is a really bad [TS]

01:17:40   guy and Anna that's your problem is you [TS]

01:17:43   keep pulling level that would have a [TS]

01:17:45   little bit of fight that's the nice [TS]

01:17:46   thing about Scalia this is exactly what [TS]

01:17:49   I mean if you if you just put your hand [TS]

01:17:51   in the water and pulling on the fish [TS]

01:17:52   that's not really fishing you want a [TS]

01:17:53   little bit of a fight to get that Marlon [TS]

01:17:54   the boat because they be on the phone [TS]

01:17:58   with the desk clerk trying to negotiate [TS]

01:18:01   a Samana it's just gonna stand right up [TS]

01:18:05   this complete because this is the thing [TS]

01:18:07   every time they picked up the phone [TS]

01:18:09   the guy would answer since the one that [TS]

01:18:12   could be like you been saying this for [TS]

01:18:15   two years somebody I'll be right there [TS]

01:18:18   like that one day someone comes up with [TS]

01:18:22   something they asked for two years ago [TS]

01:18:24   all right exactly every once in a while [TS]

01:18:26   like they wake up and they wake up in [TS]

01:18:28   the morning this is the wonderful thing [TS]

01:18:29   about drugs they wake up in the morning [TS]

01:18:32   and there's a there's like a while they [TS]

01:18:34   would have to be fed right so every they [TS]

01:18:36   would try and so they would try not go [TS]

01:18:38   to sleep but you would be in charge of [TS]

01:18:40   when they went to sleep or not you give [TS]

01:18:42   us a prisoner gasps and so they go to [TS]

01:18:44   sleep they wake up there like how I was [TS]

01:18:46   trying to stay awake and thinking on the [TS]

01:18:47   prisoner on the prison when they just [TS]

01:18:48   scored a bunch of gas out of all the [TS]

01:18:50   everyone on the island or whatever and [TS]

01:18:51   poof he's asleep he wakes up and there's [TS]

01:18:53   a there's a room-service cards with like [TS]

01:18:57   you know a very nice selection of foods [TS]

01:18:59   and he's like fuck and so he's it's like [TS]

01:19:03   with Santa Claus you think I'm gonna [TS]

01:19:04   stay up i'm goin to see Santa Claus this [TS]

01:19:06   year I'm going to stay up all night I'm [TS]

01:19:08   gonna see Santa Claus and he would stay [TS]

01:19:09   up as long as he could he would [TS]

01:19:10   eventually go to sleep [TS]

01:19:12   the room service cart we go away and a [TS]

01:19:14   new one would come back i think that you [TS]

01:19:18   can work on their memoirs I man there's [TS]

01:19:20   just you know here's the thing John once [TS]

01:19:21   once you make your supertrain fortune [TS]

01:19:23   idea i think having a revenue stream [TS]

01:19:25   associated with this would be nice i [TS]

01:19:27   think a better thing would be to become [TS]

01:19:28   dictator such a strong word to to become [TS]

01:19:31   a thought leader is literally leading [TS]

01:19:34   with your thoughts getting to where you [TS]

01:19:35   could have a super train style system [TS]

01:19:37   and I think a lot of this stuff is going [TS]

01:19:39   to start falling in place you have a lot [TS]

01:19:40   of people on your side a lot of people [TS]

01:19:41   who are there's gonna be a lot of people [TS]

01:19:42   who are gonna help you get to these [TS]

01:19:44   people are not going to ask a lot of [TS]

01:19:46   questions you need those people you [TS]

01:19:47   can't just go to statistically up is [TS]

01:19:48   getting too [TS]

01:19:48   my cabin oh no absolutely we need an [TS]

01:19:51   entire Special Forces don't want a bag [TS]

01:19:53   I mean you want to be something like [TS]

01:19:55   where they think they're going to go [TS]

01:19:56   into the cabin to write their memoirs [TS]

01:19:57   and then they wake up and there's a [TS]

01:19:58   loose in genetics and food [TS]

01:20:00   yeah they've been gassed and then like [TS]

01:20:02   retired SEAL Team six members working [TS]

01:20:05   both for higher but also because they [TS]

01:20:08   have a vested interest in making things [TS]

01:20:10   right are working for you as a kind of a [TS]

01:20:13   rendition team [TS]

01:20:14   I mean I understand Elon Musk wanting to [TS]

01:20:17   build a spaceship that looks like a [TS]

01:20:19   bumble bee hive I understand that the [TS]

01:20:22   kid from facebook wants to live it [TS]

01:20:24   presumably in a 10,000 square foot Palo [TS]

01:20:28   Alto house that just has a prince of [TS]

01:20:31   white Lamborghinis like leaning against [TS]

01:20:34   the wall ghostliness and balloons over [TS]

01:20:37   Africa to give people internet right [TS]

01:20:39   google Africa internet balloon project i [TS]

01:20:41   understand these rich people uh who are [TS]

01:20:45   young and and don't have any real sense [TS]

01:20:47   of what the world needs like spending [TS]

01:20:50   their money in these in these dumbass [TS]

01:20:52   ways but where where is the ruthlessness [TS]

01:20:55   where is the sense of retributive [TS]

01:20:58   justice like these people with all the [TS]

01:21:02   resources in the world [TS]

01:21:03   any one of them could fund a bunker [TS]

01:21:05   based gas light stretching it only takes [TS]

01:21:13   a couple and yet as well as the [TS]

01:21:15   grounding air is a rounding error for [TS]

01:21:16   Jeff basis that's right that's exactly [TS]

01:21:18   right about 80 million dollars we could [TS]

01:21:20   get started you you need you and it not [TS]

01:21:23   an angel investor is a devil investor [TS]

01:21:25   you need someone to just kind of get [TS]

01:21:26   things started [TS]

01:21:27   yeah that's and friends around now and [TS]

01:21:29   once this is up and running and once [TS]

01:21:31   everybody is logged onto it and and you [TS]

01:21:34   know Bitcoin there but feeds here you [TS]

01:21:39   know talk about like if you are if you [TS]

01:21:41   believe the Texas argument that the [TS]

01:21:44   death penalty is it dissidence sent [TS]

01:21:48   advises crime [TS]

01:21:49   what is going to do you incentivize [TS]

01:21:52   becoming like a Kissinger like warmonger [TS]

01:21:57   then if you're gonna be if you're [TS]

01:21:59   thinking about becoming a shitty [TS]

01:22:00   reactionary drop some Bitcoin that's [TS]

01:22:02   right and watch a little bit of Scalia [TS]

01:22:04   write his memoirs really stripping [TS]

01:22:05   that's right straight fast [TS]

01:22:08   yeah watch donald rumsfeld try and [TS]

01:22:11   figure out what's different about his [TS]

01:22:13   apartment this morning it that that it's [TS]

01:22:18   too many can't do the couch move like [TS]

01:22:22   sit and watch that for a few hours and [TS]

01:22:24   then decide that you're going to be the [TS]

01:22:26   Secretary of Defense one more time with [TS]

01:22:28   someone that's why is my belt so small [TS]