Roderick on the Line

Ep. 75: "Mean Baby"


00:00:01   [Music] [TS]

00:00:07   hello hi John oh hi Marla are you still [TS]

00:00:15   get to still a good time [TS]

00:00:16   that's pretty early move he hit my bell [TS]

00:00:20   happen who then a bit of a feeling like [TS]

00:00:25   a little bit of a cat that's been [TS]

00:00:26   sitting in a hammock all day [TS]

00:00:29   hmm nothing like that likes more than [TS]

00:00:31   being in a hammock but that sounds like [TS]

00:00:34   some old Southern wisdom that is a [TS]

00:00:36   little bit of southern wisdom I feel [TS]

00:00:38   like a cornpone inside of a fritter [TS]

00:00:40   ok I'm not existentially conflicted as a [TS]

00:00:44   cat named eric i don't like it but I [TS]

00:00:49   feel a little off-kilter up a little bit [TS]

00:00:51   like a cat on the image of a bathtub mi [TS]

00:00:55   miss the color of the South i should say [TS]

00:00:57   that's a lot of ping-pong from that it's [TS]

00:00:59   a nice to wear what I feel like just [TS]

00:01:03   told you in the tutor I feel girl idiot [TS]

00:01:05   because of you because he's you set a [TS]

00:01:08   time signature that could possibly be a [TS]

00:01:11   time signature in our last episode John [TS]

00:01:13   as you know I'm not a music theory [TS]

00:01:15   addition the red assist the all right to [TS]

00:01:17   your answer [TS]

00:01:19   yeah the road Rorschach Rorschach's yeah [TS]

00:01:22   you know but still i know there's no [TS]

00:01:24   such thing as a sixth note that i'm [TS]

00:01:25   always have but you know what here's [TS]

00:01:26   what i did not know there is such a [TS]

00:01:28   thing as two-thirds for time units next [TS]

00:01:33   extra / two-thirds for time [TS]

00:01:36   yeah yeah yeahs two-thirds for and you [TS]

00:01:40   can also play in four thirds for you can [TS]

00:01:42   play all combine now that's a [TS]

00:01:44   three-fifths for four thirds find local [TS]

00:01:47   from off my but wouldn't it be something [TS]

00:01:48   like 11.3 time [TS]

00:01:50   what is it has all too well that's the [TS]

00:01:53   good question is just like the time [TS]

00:01:55   signature version of like like 12 times [TS]

00:01:58   or something [TS]

00:01:58   apparently not is now a few rules all [TS]

00:02:02   third both the third movement of the [TS]

00:02:04   motto songs made to a about that the [TS]

00:02:09   belay song [TS]

00:02:10   yeah anyway it has it has a portion of [TS]

00:02:13   the of the third bar the third movement [TS]

00:02:16   third reminds me have to be honest too [TS]

00:02:19   mercy that I from try to remember the [TS]

00:02:21   name that I think it's merged into [TS]

00:02:23   tonight libo nielsen hear that Martin [TS]

00:02:25   Bormann to yeah right well that's more [TS]

00:02:27   like in three fifths over Fort I think [TS]

00:02:29   it's actually two-thirds over 2 and then [TS]

00:02:31   bar 123 is in two-thirds over for well [TS]

00:02:34   you know there's a lot of room for music [TS]

00:02:36   theatre additions to disagree about [TS]

00:02:38   these years [TS]

00:02:40   yes it's all about counting and you can [TS]

00:02:41   count things a lot of different ways [TS]

00:02:43   yes yes are some cinnamon for instance [TS]

00:02:46   is in I still understand that song it's [TS]

00:02:48   in four-four time but it was doing the [TS]

00:02:51   terms are you doing New poor thing right [TS]

00:02:53   well the song so the know the drums are [TS]

00:02:55   doing for the drums are in for the rest [TS]

00:02:56   of the songs in 30 hits a triplet when [TS]

00:02:59   it comes it lines up it lines up every [TS]

00:03:01   every 470 miles [TS]

00:03:03   OIC it's what does straight couple of [TS]

00:03:05   synchronicity it's a little bit of [TS]

00:03:07   synchronicity synchrony synchronicity [TS]

00:03:09   let me see the crystal singing bank [TS]

00:03:12   account [TS]

00:03:13   goodra mucho gusto [TS]

00:03:16   hmm so you know what here's something [TS]

00:03:22   corny with his bow Nielsen's got a lot [TS]

00:03:23   of entries on the unusual time signature [TS]

00:03:25   page yeah I get the feeling that he is [TS]

00:03:26   one of those sport composers I was like [TS]

00:03:29   us and that math classical rock [TS]

00:03:31   yeah it was just like out there like [TS]

00:03:32   trying to try to to write music because [TS]

00:03:35   it's possible he wants to get a [TS]

00:03:37   Wikipedia page [TS]

00:03:38   he's trying to he's doing math because [TS]

00:03:39   it's possible not because it's true [TS]

00:03:41   because because it's real I mean I guess [TS]

00:03:43   if it's possible it's real but well or [TS]

00:03:47   we can say we're going to sing something [TS]

00:03:48   I was gonna sing there's a house on my [TS]

00:03:52   street and it looks real need [TS]

00:03:55   I'm the cat who lives in it the sidewalk [TS]

00:04:01   there's the car by the door i'll go for [TS]

00:04:04   a drive in it pop up what your team and [TS]

00:04:07   when no one back comes [TS]

00:04:09   yes by now that's that's one of the [TS]

00:04:12   steric open songs right it's a stewart [TS]

00:04:13   copeland song and stewart copeland sings [TS]

00:04:15   it and it is a I remember being well [TS]

00:04:20   what I've been 13 I think that's all one [TS]

00:04:23   of the the three good records it is on [TS]

00:04:25   one of the three good roads and and it [TS]

00:04:27   and it's it's one it's one of the it's [TS]

00:04:29   one of those songs that to a [TS]

00:04:32   thirteen-year-old [TS]

00:04:33   the aesthetic thirteen-year-old mind [TS]

00:04:35   it's just like so awesome so great it's [TS]

00:04:38   the type of song that you play if you [TS]

00:04:41   are the type of kid who takes that half [TS]

00:04:44   rack box from a 12-pack of Schmidt beer [TS]

00:04:47   and writes dork on it and then makes [TS]

00:04:52   whoever is drinking whoever shot getting [TS]

00:04:56   the next year has to wear the dork [TS]

00:04:57   ailments that is the kind of song that [TS]

00:05:00   you want playing while you shotgunning a [TS]

00:05:03   beer wearing a dork ailment [TS]

00:05:05   I'm just I'm just singing theorizing [TS]

00:05:10   what it would be like huh [TS]

00:05:12   it's just yeah as a hypothetical to be [TS]

00:05:14   that kid or to be that kind of kid well [TS]

00:05:16   if it's real it's rational and true i [TS]

00:05:18   think sting said that on one of his jazz [TS]

00:05:19   records i remember i had been with that [TS]

00:05:22   song was about his father and the [TS]

00:05:24   Russians yeah and yoga roof [TS]

00:05:27   I I had a strange experience a couple [TS]

00:05:29   months ago I mention this but I I saw [TS]

00:05:31   somebody wearing a cowboy hat that they [TS]

00:05:33   had made you called half and 12 pack [TS]

00:05:35   half-rack 12 packs and yeah yeah yeah [TS]

00:05:37   unless unless you talk about Stroh's oh [TS]

00:05:41   and then Stroh's course has the 15 pack [TS]

00:05:44   em Viennese Waltz three extra beers and [TS]

00:05:47   the stros go for the gold 15 pack is [TS]

00:05:51   that is that have cold activated bottles [TS]

00:05:53   and cold activated cans [TS]

00:05:54   no that's your thing of coors you're [TS]

00:05:57   talking about your thing about the [TS]

00:05:58   silver bullet for which there is no [TS]

00:06:00   slowing down [TS]

00:06:01   oh that's no signed and that's right and [TS]

00:06:03   so they put that put in the new yorker [TS]

00:06:04   would have a diuresis over the second oh [TS]

00:06:07   right exactly that exact mr. cool mr. [TS]

00:06:11   Kufuor yours to use it you recently did [TS]

00:06:15   you recently call them out for putting a [TS]

00:06:18   hurting on whom lot over cooperation or [TS]

00:06:20   something and now it was gas but it was [TS]

00:06:22   he in cooperation I made my peace with [TS]

00:06:23   like they're going to do that in your [TS]

00:06:25   loser i think was reenter re-enter old [TS]

00:06:28   at the second II yeah yeah if you [TS]

00:06:31   pronounce this is 2000 a row they're [TS]

00:06:34   gonna they're gonna die die click the [TS]

00:06:36   second one man I'd like to do a Code Red [TS]

00:06:38   on whoever is their grammar nazi they [TS]

00:06:41   are there [TS]

00:06:42   the problem is that the Chicago Manual [TS]

00:06:44   style like k [TS]

00:06:46   even I think or at least they they [TS]

00:06:48   waffled on the on the Oxford comma there [TS]

00:06:52   was all that waffling over the Oxford [TS]

00:06:54   comma and as a result of it [TS]

00:06:56   no one no one knew what to believe [TS]

00:06:58   anymore well I mean you know if you're [TS]

00:07:00   not going to have the Oxford comma I [TS]

00:07:02   mean first of all God i canna table the [TS]

00:07:05   course hat I don't want to talk about [TS]

00:07:07   whatever the course have you talked [TS]

00:07:09   about we talked about the Oxford comma [TS]

00:07:10   on one of the other podcasts and you and [TS]

00:07:12   you and you feel like I know it's not a [TS]

00:07:14   topic throughout if it's true it's [TS]

00:07:15   rational and provable so I have to [TS]

00:07:18   imagine you know it's like monkeys [TS]

00:07:20   monkeys in Shakespeare uh-huh [TS]

00:07:23   imagine at some point have discussed the [TS]

00:07:24   extra common good an unlimited number of [TS]

00:07:26   Merlin's in an interview with an [TS]

00:07:28   unlimited number of grammar books [TS]

00:07:31   well eventually we'll talk about [TS]

00:07:32   everything i'm gonna get to the course [TS]

00:07:33   at about my daughter I want to hear [TS]

00:07:35   about my daughter started a new activity [TS]

00:07:37   and we got an informative multi-page [TS]

00:07:39   sheet as you know you get informative [TS]

00:07:40   multi-page sheets about everything as a [TS]

00:07:42   parent you to digest it all like it's [TS]

00:07:45   all equally important i only know this [TS]

00:07:47   from the pediatrician who gives you the [TS]

00:07:49   baby doctor [TS]

00:07:50   yeah that's right it gives you the [TS]

00:07:52   multi-page sheets that say your child at [TS]

00:07:55   this age should begin to you know vomit [TS]

00:07:58   in in in solid chunks instead of just [TS]

00:08:02   the slurry your childhood sh-should [TS]

00:08:05   should begin to resist when you try and [TS]

00:08:08   choke it your child at this age should [TS]

00:08:11   you know should have opinions about [TS]

00:08:14   French cinema and and I read the sheet [TS]

00:08:16   and it's just like these are the same [TS]

00:08:18   people that told me that the [TS]

00:08:20   contractions were going to come in and [TS]

00:08:22   even and regular way and that they were [TS]

00:08:26   going to start at this road at this [TS]

00:08:28   rotation at this intensity and then over [TS]

00:08:31   the course of several hours they were [TS]

00:08:33   going to mature until they were coming [TS]

00:08:34   faster and harder and I and I went all [TS]

00:08:38   the hands however just a second I I lost [TS]

00:08:40   track i was writing down course hat and [TS]

00:08:42   lost track for a second I thought you're [TS]

00:08:43   talking about contractions like don't [TS]

00:08:45   can't [TS]

00:08:46   oh yeah well that too called [TS]

00:08:47   braxton-hicks contractions and about [TS]

00:08:50   braxton-hicks contractions yet doesn't [TS]

00:08:51   always and they trained me for months [TS]

00:08:53   that you know a big they Pavlovian [TS]

00:08:56   trained me [TS]

00:08:57   to feel like like when the baby was [TS]

00:09:00   coming it was going to be a it was going [TS]

00:09:01   to be a predictable and rational [TS]

00:09:03   experience and then the brand they get [TS]

00:09:06   you the Braxton Hicks contractions [TS]

00:09:08   started and they were like something [TS]

00:09:11   that Tesla had to devise it was just [TS]

00:09:14   like it was like above a lightning ball [TS]

00:09:17   and they were coming that they weren't [TS]

00:09:19   anything like they had said in all these [TS]

00:09:21   many many classes and all these five [TS]

00:09:23   page stapled handouts and I called the [TS]

00:09:26   doctor i called the pediatrician and [TS]

00:09:28   actually have the pediatrician come out [TS]

00:09:31   of surgery to talk to me and I said what [TS]

00:09:37   the hell took over do you think I've [TS]

00:09:39   must've they just they just put the [TS]

00:09:40   suction in there and its surrounding [TS]

00:09:42   villages but put some ice in there and [TS]

00:09:44   just everybody cool with all the [TS]

00:09:46   products on the button i'll be back in [TS]

00:09:47   three and he comes out and he's like [TS]

00:09:49   yeah ok hello what is going on and I [TS]

00:09:51   said you guys said that it was going to [TS]

00:09:53   go like this and it isn't going like [TS]

00:09:54   that and he said oh it's fine [TS]

00:09:56   every pregnancy is different and I said [TS]

00:09:59   that's baloney you gave me I went to 40 [TS]

00:10:01   classes and everything every class told [TS]

00:10:04   me it was going to be exactly the same [TS]

00:10:05   but he's like oh I know but that's every [TS]

00:10:06   one of them's different your guys units [TS]

00:10:08   everything's happening maybe that's just [TS]

00:10:09   to keep you from not freaking out are [TS]

00:10:11   you freaking out you know any now when [TS]

00:10:13   they hand me a three-page printout that [TS]

00:10:15   says your baby at this age should start [TS]

00:10:17   resisting when you choked her I'm like I [TS]

00:10:18   don't believe it i'm not going to read [TS]

00:10:20   this it's just more of this [TS]

00:10:22   it's more this like the mean if your [TS]

00:10:24   baby is the mean baby and my baby is a [TS]

00:10:27   mean baby living you if she is that if [TS]

00:10:29   she's the mean baby [TS]

00:10:30   yeah she will behave predictably [TS]

00:10:32   otherwise but I mean boils down to a [TS]

00:10:34   certain kind of speculation like you can [TS]

00:10:36   expect like you're saying with if he got [TS]

00:10:38   a curve and you gotta mean and median [TS]

00:10:39   it's like you know a bunch of the time [TS]

00:10:42   it kind of sometimes works out this way [TS]

00:10:44   right two white parents normally white [TS]

00:10:46   baby but not give concerns every once in [TS]

00:10:50   a while you have to you have to have a [TS]

00:10:52   dream to have a conversation he had some [TS]

00:10:54   white chocolate so anyway course at you [TS]

00:10:58   want we are just got his hand out and [TS]

00:11:00   the handout my wife and I both notice [TS]

00:11:03   completely independently that they did [TS]

00:11:04   missed a comma and so one of the things [TS]

00:11:06   that you're not allowed to bring is a is [TS]

00:11:10   animals electronic devices so either [TS]

00:11:13   there's a missing the comic devices to [TS]

00:11:18   belong to the animals [TS]

00:11:19   yeah yeah and I mean and then again at [TS]

00:11:22   once again d put the s you know after [TS]

00:11:24   the anyway like the combo drop the BS [TS]

00:11:27   I'm starting I gotta get back to Phil [TS]

00:11:28   Collins so I i was walking us through [TS]

00:11:30   this is one of those i think it's what [TS]

00:11:32   does your calls synchronicity i'm [TS]

00:11:34   walking down the street or somewhere i [TS]

00:11:35   met dreamed it and I saw somebody I [TS]

00:11:37   believe this doesn't make sense given [TS]

00:11:40   Florida but i think was the first time [TS]

00:11:41   in my life I saw somebody wearing an air [TS]

00:11:44   SATs cowboy hat made out of a 12-pack of [TS]

00:11:49   course bottles so no no let me get me [TS]

00:11:53   let me see if I can 0 and have you seen [TS]

00:11:56   one of these is this is this is this [TS]

00:11:58   where they have cut aluminum cans and [TS]

00:12:00   macro made them together into an honor [TS]

00:12:02   sorry I should have been clearer it's [TS]

00:12:03   like that's not like a pop top vest [TS]

00:12:05   no no it's where you take you take the [TS]

00:12:07   boxee the empty kors curves cold [TS]

00:12:11   activated box and fashioned it somehow [TS]

00:12:13   into a cowboy hat now this on its own is [TS]

00:12:16   pretty strange can do it with one or do [TS]

00:12:19   you need multiple cores boxes to to make [TS]

00:12:21   that look right guess it depends on how [TS]

00:12:22   lonely you are i mean because you're [TS]

00:12:25   gonna want the logo [TS]

00:12:27   oh you're saying like you want a [TS]

00:12:27   ten-gallon I don't know that the wolfram [TS]

00:12:30   alpha but but anyway and then that very [TS]

00:12:32   same day maybe a day later I saw that [TS]

00:12:34   you could buy one on the amazon [TS]

00:12:36   marketplace [TS]

00:12:37   I'm not sure how I arrived at that it [TS]

00:12:39   might have been one of those of beer a [TS]

00:12:42   half-rack cardboard and it was coolers [TS]

00:12:45   how boy hat you know pretty weird [TS]

00:12:48   yeah anyway there's no such thing as [TS]

00:12:51   13-6 time I feel dumb that I said it and [TS]

00:12:53   I just I regret the error i've been [TS]

00:12:55   doing that a lot lately John I i thought [TS]

00:12:57   you know my dad my daughter leaves on [TS]

00:12:59   every time I say something stupid i [TS]

00:13:01   confuse some Avengers i'm sure i do it [TS]

00:13:03   on the show all the time and I say [TS]

00:13:05   something guy 59-48 time you gotta close [TS]

00:13:09   this page [TS]

00:13:10   um I do it more and more and I'm hoping [TS]

00:13:13   that you do it too i mean in a selfish [TS]

00:13:15   way I just find myself sometimes saying [TS]

00:13:17   something think I met people like [TS]

00:13:20   slow-motion strokey like I've fuck [TS]

00:13:22   myself [TS]

00:13:23   things that after i said them and it's [TS]

00:13:26   been pointed out to me I realized makes [TS]

00:13:27   almost no sense and i'm not talking [TS]

00:13:28   about my usual nonsense you know what I [TS]

00:13:31   mean did you ever get that at all [TS]

00:13:33   well the thing the thing about You [TS]

00:13:35   Merlin that is so extraordinary is that [TS]

00:13:37   the the that you are capable of a of [TS]

00:13:41   such a torrent of ideas that for the [TS]

00:13:45   most part do make sense that is what's [TS]

00:13:49   astonishing [TS]

00:13:50   yeah you know I don't have that problem [TS]

00:13:53   because it takes me a long time to say [TS]

00:13:56   everything that i am trying to say [TS]

00:13:58   because I take time in your you choose [TS]

00:14:03   your words carefully and and not just [TS]

00:14:05   because you're pedantic yeah we'll set [TS]

00:14:07   that aside for a minute is that is one [TS]

00:14:08   reason you're here to help people John [TS]

00:14:10   can I slow it down [TS]

00:14:11   yeah and what what you know I've said [TS]

00:14:14   multiple times because lately [TS]

00:14:17   Merlin I've been reading a couple of [TS]

00:14:19   transcripts of our show [TS]

00:14:21   um because i think you know you're so [TS]

00:14:24   quotable youyou really speak in like [TS]

00:14:26   written paragraphs well part of that is [TS]

00:14:29   that is the slowness but but reading [TS]

00:14:32   some of the transcripts of the show [TS]

00:14:33   there are things that you say I'm sure [TS]

00:14:35   that the person who transcribed the [TS]

00:14:37   episode had to slow the tape down you [TS]

00:14:40   know it took him a half an hour to [TS]

00:14:41   transcribe 11 exchange between us [TS]

00:14:44   because you say so many things and so [TS]

00:14:46   many of them are on point and they are [TS]

00:14:48   referencing back and referencing forward [TS]

00:14:51   and you are moving through time like a [TS]

00:14:53   like a like a warm through a cheese and [TS]

00:14:57   and and decidedly a thing [TS]

00:15:00   yeah you should see worms move through [TS]

00:15:03   cheez-its they're like Time Traveller's [TS]

00:15:05   hots that's just science but but uh but [TS]

00:15:08   i'm reading the transcripts and I'm [TS]

00:15:10   thinking you know I i was i was a part [TS]

00:15:13   of this conversation and there were [TS]

00:15:15   there are whole stretches of it with [TS]

00:15:17   where I was really I was like the jetski [TS]

00:15:20   writer and and then either in cans of [TS]

00:15:24   course at and no one can you and you [TS]

00:15:26   were the lake and I was just I was just [TS]

00:15:29   start was just going on the wave tops [TS]

00:15:31   just John the sidekick and I'm so okay [TS]

00:15:34   with that [TS]

00:15:35   I come in I [TS]

00:15:36   and I had a penis but I added the [TS]

00:15:38   program i select the show art I thought [TS]

00:15:41   you didn't end of the program [TS]

00:15:42   oh I i put in garage band hit button [TS]

00:15:46   well I guess that counts as editing [TS]

00:15:47   other half half the people that have a [TS]

00:15:49   production credit on wikipedia or that's [TS]

00:15:51   all they did put in the ground and put [TS]

00:15:53   it into any warhol set there with the [TS]

00:15:56   starboard to say or whatever it's called [TS]

00:15:57   that the film editing machine i doubt it [TS]

00:15:59   he just abusing be printed at the empire [TS]

00:16:01   state building gets a haircut if you [TS]

00:16:03   look at the production credits just from [TS]

00:16:04   the long winters records there are a lot [TS]

00:16:05   of people on there that did last but [TS]

00:16:07   yeah me neither can Stringfellow i'm [TS]

00:16:08   always punching in yeah although can God [TS]

00:16:13   rest his soul get more in the undead [TS]

00:16:18   that's not class i'm i'm so I I'm so I I [TS]

00:16:22   you know I just like to say a nice word [TS]

00:16:24   about Ken who's been dead all these [TS]

00:16:27   centuries that Donaire matches of direct [TS]

00:16:32   I don't like to speak ill of the undead [TS]

00:16:34   but but but no again is a great producer [TS]

00:16:38   yeah part of it is that he doesn't need [TS]

00:16:40   sleep and and feeds on teens but he made [TS]

00:16:45   it gets great guitars [TS]

00:16:47   okay um did you know that the lyrics of [TS]

00:16:51   synchronicity the song actually [TS]

00:16:54   foreshadow stings solo career like the [TS]

00:16:59   lyrics sarah palin drime i'm not talking [TS]

00:17:01   about synchronicity two are you talking [TS]

00:17:03   about with one breath one help you [TS]

00:17:05   willna synchronicity [TS]

00:17:07   yeah yeah a star fall because phone all [TS]

00:17:09   it joins all synchronicity it's so deep [TS]

00:17:12   it's so wide you're inside synchronicity [TS]

00:17:16   it's a foreshadowing yeah shadow came [TS]

00:17:19   first [TS]

00:17:19   yes this is this is a dream of the blue [TS]

00:17:22   turtles but in advance of of like [TS]

00:17:27   pathetic that we could have ever [TS]

00:17:28   conceived of it like when synchronicity [TS]

00:17:31   came out you had no you had no fourth [TS]

00:17:33   site of dream of the blue turtles or [TS]

00:17:35   beyond [TS]

00:17:37   that's the only way i can be hanging on [TS]

00:17:38   yeah but if you if you had really [TS]

00:17:41   studied these lyrics you know almost [TS]

00:17:45   imperceptible something inexpressible [TS]

00:17:48   science insusceptible we should have [TS]

00:17:51   seen it coming projects so inflexible [TS]

00:17:53   causally connected mobile outcome is an [TS]

00:17:57   important commercial this is and it's [TS]

00:17:59   it's really i mean i've heard this on a [TS]

00:18:01   billion times i don't i don't think i [TS]

00:18:03   ever took the time to see what sting was [TS]

00:18:06   talking about and what he was talking [TS]

00:18:08   about was ya tam trick fucking now write [TS]

00:18:12   down in the back of a Jaguar yes and you [TS]

00:18:15   know I get a little of the Indian come [TS]

00:18:17   vice right you just need to clamp it [TS]

00:18:18   down [TS]

00:18:19   that's right and none of this is good [TS]

00:18:21   now none of this is no political [TS]

00:18:22   solution i'm gonna have trouble [TS]

00:18:25   evilution have no faith in constitution [TS]

00:18:27   there is no bloody revolution but see I [TS]

00:18:29   can forgive that that could be with that [TS]

00:18:31   fits the Minutemen lyric or whatever but [TS]

00:18:34   all here we go [TS]

00:18:35   but but I'm gonna have to go back and [TS]

00:18:38   see what the first sign or maybe [TS]

00:18:40   somewhere lol I i can I can help with [TS]

00:18:42   that [TS]

00:18:42   what is the first indication that you [TS]

00:18:44   had that sting would eventually be [TS]

00:18:47   become the sting that we know where is [TS]

00:18:50   the evidence in the public in the police [TS]

00:18:52   well for example he did not write the [TS]

00:18:54   lyric ton of white boy guilt that's my [TS]

00:18:56   problem obstacle to enjoy when you [TS]

00:18:58   reason to use some drugs he'd written [TS]

00:19:00   like that no no chance probably don't [TS]

00:19:03   recognize that you know it's a it's [TS]

00:19:05   bullshit i realized that when i saw him [TS]

00:19:08   as a bellhop carrying people's bags away [TS]

00:19:12   into fancy hotel is that I was the job [TS]

00:19:15   of brimstone and marmalade just that [TS]

00:19:18   movie where he's the creepy guy know [TS]

00:19:20   doing what he talking about [TS]

00:19:21   no no it's his it says he's faced a [TS]

00:19:25   space to start turning Quadrophenia had [TS]

00:19:27   a good movie i feel like it started it [TS]

00:19:29   and it seems weird no no never talk [TS]

00:19:33   about the first time I saw Tommy did you [TS]

00:19:37   get that everybody liked it that I'm [TS]

00:19:38   architecture 7315 guard there that's [TS]

00:19:41   breath like a hot one burning a hole in [TS]

00:19:44   your hand i'm just going to write all [TS]

00:19:45   this down I want to come back to my time [TS]

00:19:46   when I tell my daughter to curse will be [TS]

00:19:48   up and the first interview right with [TS]

00:19:50   sting writing the stem the first time I [TS]

00:19:52   ever saw Tommy there was a double [TS]

00:19:54   feature at the University of Alaska [TS]

00:19:56   Anchorage in the student center and some [TS]

00:20:00   kid from my junior high school [TS]

00:20:02   was like hey you want to go to this [TS]

00:20:04   movie with me and I had never had I mean [TS]

00:20:08   it was like it was a it was a student [TS]

00:20:09   like a student activity at the [TS]

00:20:12   University we were going to sneak in we [TS]

00:20:13   were in eighth grade I guess we go in [TS]

00:20:17   and it's you know it's the student [TS]

00:20:18   center is awful kids and you can smell [TS]

00:20:20   pot smoke in the air and it felt very [TS]

00:20:23   dangerous we were like clearly too young [TS]

00:20:27   to be there and it was a double feature [TS]

00:20:28   of Tommy and heavy metal which had just [TS]

00:20:33   come out [TS]

00:20:34   Wow and tommy was first and heavy metal [TS]

00:20:38   was the was the headliner and that's we [TS]

00:20:41   were there to see heavy metal [TS]

00:20:42   neither did you know what was on the [TS]

00:20:44   soundtrack that soundtrack not not well [TS]

00:20:47   yeah I guess we had we we already own [TS]

00:20:49   the soundtrack because we were here [TS]

00:20:51   soundtrack we were devo fans so we got [TS]

00:20:54   the soundtrack because the depot and [TS]

00:20:55   then you know that sammy hagar tracks [TS]

00:20:57   pretty killer and if there's a lot of [TS]

00:20:58   cheap tricks on their tricks on there's [TS]

00:21:00   there's some good jams that's a great [TS]

00:21:02   movie but so we had to sit through Tommy [TS]

00:21:04   and I had never seen a musical certainly [TS]

00:21:08   I've never seen a rock musical and it [TS]

00:21:12   chilled me to the bone [TS]

00:21:13   it scared the living daylights out of me [TS]

00:21:15   Tommy did I kept waiting for it to make [TS]

00:21:18   sense i kept waiting for completing for [TS]

00:21:21   a sympathetic character it really it [TS]

00:21:27   will I can't say that I was too young [TS]

00:21:29   I just was i didn't i didn't get it i [TS]

00:21:31   didn't like it took me it took me [TS]

00:21:33   multiple viewings of Tommy 22 to be some [TS]

00:21:37   really weird movie it's it's it looks i [TS]

00:21:40   describe this it stopped my head I mean [TS]

00:21:44   because the thing is when i saw i was [TS]

00:21:45   already such a huge fan and I i mean [TS]

00:21:48   like i had just in Tommy for me was like [TS]

00:21:51   wow i mean III just don't listen to it [TS]

00:21:53   so many times and I you know learned up [TS]

00:21:55   in as well as I could play along with [TS]

00:21:57   the songs in the movie just it looked [TS]

00:21:59   weird and it was two concrete in some [TS]

00:22:02   ways I think probably Elton John in [TS]

00:22:05   giant shoes playing pinball like didn't [TS]

00:22:07   help her Tina Turner and the iron maiden [TS]

00:22:11   was that help maybe he'll serve me well [TS]

00:22:13   let's see i but yeah I remember looking [TS]

00:22:16   in retrospect kind of like the blues [TS]

00:22:18   brothers you know Blues Brothers has [TS]

00:22:19   that weird like almost a TV movie kind [TS]

00:22:21   of look to it and in retrospect I think [TS]

00:22:23   about like speaking of a space and gangs [TS]

00:22:26   i watch this movie and then called the [TS]

00:22:27   firm about soccer hooligans it was [TS]

00:22:29   pretty good and I've been thinking more [TS]

00:22:31   about like dang movies actually lately [TS]

00:22:33   and at you know I don't know I don't [TS]

00:22:35   know why I mentioned this but like [TS]

00:22:36   sometimes movies it seems like the firm [TS]

00:22:39   for example was based on this BBC show [TS]

00:22:41   like a like a one hour to our TV show [TS]

00:22:43   with Gary old olden olden olden Newman [TS]

00:22:47   gary numan perfect it was it was a [TS]

00:22:49   two-way army show from but I and I [TS]

00:22:52   thought you know this is a good movie [TS]

00:22:53   but it was probably a lot better as a TV [TS]

00:22:55   show because of the dramatic compression [TS]

00:22:57   of it you kind of need to stretch it out [TS]

00:22:59   into a movie and with Tommy it's what [TS]

00:23:01   makes him so great i mean i love the [TS]

00:23:03   little rip like what i can do with this [TS]

00:23:05   us for as a call back [TS]

00:23:08   you know what I mean it becomes almost [TS]

00:23:09   symphonic and we put in a movie with [TS]

00:23:11   like Eric Clapton walking down a church [TS]

00:23:13   I'll it's weird [TS]

00:23:15   yeah so you found it disturbing aight [TS]

00:23:18   i'm still disturbed by my blog by that [TS]

00:23:20   first by the first impression of Tommy [TS]

00:23:22   and even the cartoon boobs in heavy [TS]

00:23:25   metal could not erase the trauma of of [TS]

00:23:29   of watching Tommy all the way through [TS]

00:23:31   and and you know like a drunk pill [TS]

00:23:34   filled out and Margaret rolling around [TS]

00:23:36   in a in a bed full of beans [TS]

00:23:39   mm I mean yeah but I take I take a guy I [TS]

00:23:44   still watch The Blues Brothers probably [TS]

00:23:46   three times a month i really really i [TS]

00:23:50   like that movie and I until I think [TS]

00:23:51   about it I don't realize that how often [TS]

00:23:54   I still constantly quote the Blues [TS]

00:23:56   Brothers yeah you can't you can't not [TS]

00:23:58   and yet i introduce jonathan coulton our [TS]

00:24:00   often referenced friend on this podcast [TS]

00:24:03   I introduced him to the blues brothers [TS]

00:24:06   as an adult he had never seen it 40 [TS]

00:24:08   years old had never seen the Blues [TS]

00:24:09   Brothers [TS]

00:24:10   and I say anything it's just like come [TS]

00:24:11   on really didn't see the blues bros [TS]

00:24:13   because why because you were too cool [TS]

00:24:16   when you were ten i wanted to beat him i [TS]

00:24:18   wanted to beat him down with a boat [TS]

00:24:20   paddle deserve to go to Yale and yeah [TS]

00:24:22   that's exactly right and you know what [TS]

00:24:23   you was full of people like that i'm not [TS]

00:24:25   surprised at all John you want you under [TS]

00:24:27   an extraordinary amount of people from [TS]

00:24:28   Yale and I just like it's a shame on [TS]

00:24:30   every level if you stood on the view [TS]

00:24:31   stood if you stood in the center of yell [TS]

00:24:33   at him on their quads they probably [TS]

00:24:34   minimal quantities probably Quint it is [TS]

00:24:37   a Quincy era sext and you stand there [TS]

00:24:40   with it to play D&D is tempered with a [TS]

00:24:43   clipboard and you ask every person [TS]

00:24:45   walking by with the with the knotted [TS]

00:24:47   pink scarf for our not a pink sweater or [TS]

00:24:50   a lot but you say excuse me have you [TS]

00:24:52   ever seen the Blues Brothers I bet [TS]

00:24:53   eighty percent of them would say no and [TS]

00:24:56   they would say you know they'd say no [TS]

00:24:57   like now that's a that's a movie the [TS]

00:24:59   servants watch but anyway I introduce [TS]

00:25:01   jonathan coulton to the blues brothers [TS]

00:25:02   are rather I insisted that he watches [TS]

00:25:04   which is the way interviews people two [TS]

00:25:06   things at once she wrote me and here's [TS]

00:25:09   what he said are you ready yeah man [TS]

00:25:12   ah he said man yeah this is a movie with [TS]

00:25:18   cab call away [TS]

00:25:20   Rachael Ray Charles yeah i mean track on [TS]

00:25:24   is in that movie that must get to get [TS]

00:25:26   everything Franklin steve cropper [TS]

00:25:27   pee-wee Herman back he said that must've [TS]

00:25:30   been infuriating can imagine you first [TS]

00:25:33   of all anybody who says that to you [TS]

00:25:35   what can you do he was across the [TS]

00:25:36   country if they've been married and [TS]

00:25:37   that's why you did it now [TS]

00:25:38   aerial enemy he really relies on that i [TS]

00:25:41   would i would have put a carton of milk [TS]

00:25:42   down the front of his pain that man met [TS]

00:25:46   I'm sorry I have you told your daughter [TS]

00:25:49   swear chicken for dinner [TS]

00:25:51   oh yeah I don't know what who cares um [TS]

00:25:54   no I want to know because i intend i'm [TS]

00:25:56   already teaching my daughter is where x [TS]

00:25:57   square around all the time [TS]

00:25:59   see I thought it was gonna be okay to [TS]

00:26:00   say crap but today today she said crap [TS]

00:26:02   on the swing set and I felt kind of bad [TS]

00:26:04   and I really have to another child now I [TS]

00:26:07   return comics it's my substitution for [TS]

00:26:10   another word and you know I say IDC [TS]

00:26:12   crappy a lot and in my head that's like [TS]

00:26:14   what crappy a boy what a what a crappy [TS]

00:26:17   comic this was or something like that [TS]

00:26:18   and I don't realize that you know she [TS]

00:26:20   can hear what I'm saying [TS]

00:26:21   yeah and they emulate that now can we [TS]

00:26:25   say this Rachel we have rituals on [TS]

00:26:26   imaging officials one of our know what [TS]

00:26:28   this is really boring one of the rituals [TS]

00:26:30   we go to go to the walk-in beer cooler [TS]

00:26:31   ever since she was an infant we would go [TS]

00:26:33   to the walking beer cooler at the later [TS]

00:26:34   one of those at your house [TS]

00:26:36   that's not gonna show you and to your [TS]

00:26:40   house i never saw a walk-in beer cooler [TS]

00:26:41   and ever since way before she could talk [TS]

00:26:44   we walk in there is even one of our [TS]

00:26:45   rituals visit the lobsters we walk into [TS]

00:26:47   the beer cooler and welcome to the tires [TS]

00:26:49   is that you put inside the beer cooler [TS]

00:26:51   and pretend you're going to leave her [TS]

00:26:53   there is not that much i have the [TS]

00:26:55   teacher about what i have and we walk up [TS]

00:26:58   to the coolers and and i would say look [TS]

00:27:01   I say look cold activated bottles cold [TS]

00:27:05   you know along the lines of you know [TS]

00:27:07   real tomato ketchup cold activated [TS]

00:27:10   bottles cold activated again I say le [TS]

00:27:13   vice this course you can talk it's like [TS]

00:27:16   a dumb asses and then eventually now she [TS]

00:27:20   picks it up and I always tell her before [TS]

00:27:21   we leave the beer cooler right this is [TS]

00:27:24   just our special word that we only using [TS]

00:27:25   the beer cooler [TS]

00:27:26   somehow I i saw i read an interview with [TS]

00:27:30   sting and i want to say so to answer [TS]

00:27:32   your question i'm not sure where it [TS]

00:27:34   started because there needs to be a name [TS]

00:27:35   for this phenomenon which is like oh my [TS]

00:27:38   gosh you are such an important part of [TS]

00:27:40   my life [TS]

00:27:41   artist that like you could roll in the [TS]

00:27:43   strength for a pretty long time you know [TS]

00:27:46   Weezer be a great example when I made [TS]

00:27:48   two of my all-time favorite records and [TS]

00:27:51   then a lot of stuff that maybe go huh [TS]

00:27:53   we're not just that but they've they've [TS]

00:27:54   committed like full-on crimes against [TS]

00:27:57   humanity that you are blind to or [TS]

00:27:59   continue to forgive them for I'm gonna [TS]

00:28:00   write that down so you think she should [TS]

00:28:03   be a Twitter Nuremberg up there really [TS]

00:28:06   should we should have it we should have [TS]

00:28:07   a tribunal but we can get them online [TS]

00:28:10   that put the put headphones on them and [TS]

00:28:12   let everybody let everybody on twitter [TS]

00:28:13   try them try them for crimes against [TS]

00:28:16   humanity quarter they're fucking peers [TS]

00:28:18   can also watch downfall the other name [TS]

00:28:21   you wish I yeah okay we return to that [TS]

00:28:24   it was an interview and I want to say [TS]

00:28:27   musician magazine and it was right [TS]

00:28:30   around the time it was no publicity for [TS]

00:28:32   blue turtles [TS]

00:28:33   it was one of those another one of those [TS]

00:28:35   bruce willis moments where in the i [TS]

00:28:37   think i want to say I'm probably get [TS]

00:28:39   this wrong but my memory of it is the in [TS]

00:28:40   the introductory paragraph where the [TS]

00:28:43   over rider wants to establish the scene [TS]

00:28:45   I think he was in bare feet and he had a [TS]

00:28:49   yellow legal pad beeping there's a copy [TS]

00:28:51   of Lolita sitting around of course you [TS]

00:28:53   know right he's read a book and a [TS]

00:28:55   rhyming dictionary and in retrospect [TS]

00:28:58   that seems kind of important think about [TS]

00:29:03   that think about the political solution [TS]

00:29:05   the troubled evolution the faith and [TS]

00:29:06   constitution the bloody revolution alone [TS]

00:29:09   you're absolutely right he's rhyming [TS]

00:29:10   tion John John John yeah yeah and yeah I [TS]

00:29:13   was always your example was uh oh [TS]

00:29:17   whatever whatever it was from from [TS]

00:29:19   synchronicity of synchronicity one [TS]

00:29:21   synchronicity one right the well I mean [TS]

00:29:24   every imperceptible inexpressible since [TS]

00:29:27   insusceptible see I think he can do I [TS]

00:29:30   think he tries too hard i think you know [TS]

00:29:32   we talked about the sauruses this rie [TS]

00:29:34   not too long ago like I think he tries [TS]

00:29:36   way too hard I think he's trying to jam [TS]

00:29:38   a lot of fakes mark in into a rock song [TS]

00:29:41   and then he realized that that was he [TS]

00:29:43   was above that [TS]

00:29:44   yeah well this was the problem with me [TS]

00:29:46   and my early career when I was up [TS]

00:29:49   against some other indie rockers who [TS]

00:29:52   were using big words and was I was [TS]

00:29:58   coming up short people are saying I [TS]

00:29:59   can't belong winners are you know it's [TS]

00:30:02   smart indie-rock kind of in the family [TS]

00:30:04   of these others really smart indie [TS]

00:30:06   rockers like X Y Z all whom I knew to be [TS]

00:30:11   stings they were all stings [TS]

00:30:14   they're all saying inexpressible [TS]

00:30:16   imperceptible insusceptible arab boy and [TS]

00:30:21   I was mad all the time can put my last [TS]

00:30:26   big black i'm not mad anymore you don't [TS]

00:30:28   write about Dickens at all pirates part [TS]

00:30:30   music right now now [TS]

00:30:32   ok not saying anybody specifically just [TS]

00:30:35   saying that is you know that's a true [TS]

00:30:36   that is a kind of it's a genre that [TS]

00:30:39   music lighter writers like to put [TS]

00:30:41   musicians that right lyrics that are [TS]

00:30:43   complete sentences they like to put them [TS]

00:30:45   all together [TS]

00:30:46   let's say these are the ones these are [TS]

00:30:49   the musicians who write complete [TS]

00:30:51   sentences right they are a type [TS]

00:30:53   there's onra and I was so mad because [TS]

00:30:58   you know there are a lot i can use a lot [TS]

00:31:00   of 11 sent words but I but they don't [TS]

00:31:02   belong the song lyrics I don't think [TS]

00:31:04   come on in susceptible [TS]

00:31:07   yeah and that's just you know what I'm [TS]

00:31:11   thinking now I mean I'm trying to keep [TS]

00:31:12   up with the conversation even as my [TS]

00:31:14   brain churns on on police lyrics but you [TS]

00:31:17   know the final and I'm talking about you [TS]

00:31:19   you must have had this with certain [TS]

00:31:20   bands we're in the case of the police [TS]

00:31:22   like I lost my virginity listening to [TS]

00:31:24   the police [TS]

00:31:25   I feel that way about fresh prince you [TS]

00:31:31   jazzy jeff & as in parents just don't [TS]

00:31:34   understand that first DJ jazzy jeff & [TS]

00:31:37   Friends Fresh Prince record which I mean [TS]

00:31:39   I think the entire career of of Will [TS]

00:31:42   Smith is in in a in a way indefensible [TS]

00:31:45   it is not the entire thing [TS]

00:31:48   well I've musically out like I don't [TS]

00:31:50   think you could go i don't think you [TS]

00:31:51   could go like take his whole catalog and [TS]

00:31:54   make a playlist out of it and be proud [TS]

00:31:56   of yourself man i don't mean to bust [TS]

00:31:58   your bubble but there are ways of the [TS]

00:32:00   world ain't nothin but trouble [TS]

00:32:03   mm that's a pretty tight Jam a 12 inch [TS]

00:32:05   of that but i can go i can do the entire [TS]

00:32:08   parents just don't understand start to [TS]

00:32:10   finish [TS]

00:32:11   yeah and every time you know somewhere [TS]

00:32:13   about three-quarters of the way down I [TS]

00:32:16   start to feel like I'm about to lose my [TS]

00:32:17   virginity again you know and start [TS]

00:32:20   having flashbacks it's a so that the [TS]

00:32:22   fresh prince is like your trigger word [TS]

00:32:24   yeah that's right i feel i all of a [TS]

00:32:26   sudden i'm at a sex on the beach party [TS]

00:32:28   and there are a bunch of girls that have [TS]

00:32:30   their their bangs spray-painted into [TS]

00:32:33   these giants like rocks of Gibraltar [TS]

00:32:35   still listening to that [TS]

00:32:36   30 it's interesting haha that was my can [TS]

00:32:40   reach me [TS]

00:32:42   thanks uh but yeah you know big banks [TS]

00:32:46   and then there's this one girl across [TS]

00:32:47   the room who's bangs are unadulterated [TS]

00:32:51   and I was like who is that girl every [TS]

00:32:56   other girl in this place has teased her [TS]

00:32:59   hair she had natural banks and she just [TS]

00:33:01   had left was letting her hair just be [TS]

00:33:03   like she washed it and then she probably [TS]

00:33:06   put some conditioner in it and it was it [TS]

00:33:08   was black hair and it was just sort of [TS]

00:33:11   hanging down curly I was like what's [TS]

00:33:14   going on with this girl no hair product [TS]

00:33:18   and at the at the time that seems like [TS]

00:33:22   almost all most stuff of the highest [TS]

00:33:25   endorsement you could give a person that [TS]

00:33:27   is that is punk rock in its way and our [TS]

00:33:29   listeners who are certainly younger than [TS]

00:33:31   us will not remember this but in the [TS]

00:33:34   time I think you're talking about [TS]

00:33:35   I I used to I think this is in parlance [TS]

00:33:39   hair muffins like like you would have [TS]

00:33:41   these things that involve usually moose [TS]

00:33:42   and then in girls usually like a curling [TS]

00:33:45   iron and then they would produce this [TS]

00:33:47   puffy pastry of hair [TS]

00:33:50   wrecked yeah I mean two coaches a bear I [TS]

00:33:52   mean most most of the women at the time [TS]

00:33:54   had three different haircuts amended to [TS]

00:33:57   but but the women the women you know you [TS]

00:33:59   get like a perm right firm you get a [TS]

00:34:02   perm [TS]

00:34:02   step one step one come on you gotta find [TS]

00:34:05   her and I'm step two is you iron flat [TS]

00:34:08   your front hair right and then you [TS]

00:34:12   curling iron it into a muffin [TS]

00:34:17   yeah yeah I mean it looks almost like [TS]

00:34:20   like half a fountain and what their real [TS]

00:34:22   delicate and have to be maintained right [TS]

00:34:24   humidity you know and then you couple [TS]

00:34:27   that with high waisted jeans actually [TS]

00:34:32   got like an esprit like striped top of [TS]

00:34:34   this leaves us breathe that says spread [TS]

00:34:36   across the top races sleeveless [TS]

00:34:38   sleeveless sweatshirt I with jeans that [TS]

00:34:42   maybe have have like a proto finish of [TS]

00:34:45   the flaps you know acid wash [TS]

00:34:50   I think those off yeah color color new [TS]

00:34:53   new new style color finish and and then [TS]

00:34:57   choose i'm going to say pink pumps or [TS]

00:34:59   candies candies candies usually the the [TS]

00:35:02   cancer little short in the electric [TS]

00:35:03   ankle [TS]

00:35:04   you could also have been stirrup pants [TS]

00:35:07   yes I'm like this was this was what we [TS]

00:35:11   had to deal with you me Merlin during [TS]

00:35:13   during it is primary our primary like [TS]

00:35:17   art sexual burgeoning are blooming and [TS]

00:35:21   women were dressed almost universally [TS]

00:35:25   young women were dressed like they were [TS]

00:35:27   climbing out of a clown car in that in [TS]

00:35:30   that james bond movie where a where he [TS]

00:35:33   goes to the circus in and transfer Roger [TS]

00:35:36   Moore is a clown yeah [TS]

00:35:37   roger moore dresses up like a clown ate [TS]

00:35:39   that seen what an undignified seen it [TS]

00:35:41   was such a terrible movie and all of [TS]

00:35:42   them and that's how that's how young [TS]

00:35:44   girls dressed when we were teens [TS]

00:35:45   attraction for like Roger Moore with [TS]

00:35:47   giant giant coconut bones or and then [TS]

00:35:50   there was this moment this moment I [TS]

00:35:52   remember looking around one day and all [TS]

00:35:56   the girls were wearing tight clothes and [TS]

00:35:59   everybody looked great and I was like [TS]

00:36:03   what the fuck [TS]

00:36:04   oh you got you got to enrollment like [TS]

00:36:07   that got taken away from you did not [TS]

00:36:08   have that you miss that window your [TS]

00:36:11   window opened into a spree [TS]

00:36:13   I could never be 16 again and when I was [TS]

00:36:16   16 I was being I was being shown through [TS]

00:36:21   the efforts of my peers this completely [TS]

00:36:23   ambiguous like sexuality this this this [TS]

00:36:28   version of femininity that you couldn't [TS]

00:36:30   possibly be attracted to you know [TS]

00:36:32   underneath all of the gel and the acid [TS]

00:36:35   wash and ill-fitting clothes there are [TS]

00:36:37   young girls and you are a young boy you [TS]

00:36:39   know you're attracted some through the [TS]

00:36:41   haze but they were like they were it was [TS]

00:36:45   like a it was like their fathers had all [TS]

00:36:48   band together and devised the like from [TS]

00:36:53   head to toe the best possible way to [TS]

00:36:55   make them sexually unappealing [TS]

00:36:57   I've been sitting here while you're [TS]

00:36:59   finishing that excellent sentence I've [TS]

00:37:00   been sitting here trying to come up with [TS]

00:37:01   a funny example [TS]

00:37:02   like what you might as well as dressed [TS]

00:37:05   him up like Dennis the Menace was like [TS]

00:37:06   you know what that would be totally [TS]

00:37:07   fucking hot compared with the wings a [TS]

00:37:09   little mr. Wilson [TS]

00:37:11   I mean next door I mean that was hotter [TS]

00:37:14   girls dressed like mr. Wilson that would [TS]

00:37:16   be hot there if there's nothing less hot [TS]

00:37:18   than acid-washed waist-high jeans [TS]

00:37:20   yeah and-and-and like overdone [TS]

00:37:25   overthought hair like Roman had earrings [TS]

00:37:28   that look like lightning bolts not the [TS]

00:37:29   brand but remember this like weird i'm [TS]

00:37:32   not talking about like Nina cherry i'm [TS]

00:37:33   talking about obviously like five years [TS]

00:37:35   before that don't like the the geometry [TS]

00:37:37   there's a lot of geometry there's a lot [TS]

00:37:40   of angles lot of angles a lot of big big [TS]

00:37:42   big big big big shoulders are God's [TS]

00:37:46   chosen big shoulders [TS]

00:37:48   what is what what who thought that that [TS]

00:37:51   a good look at a sixteen-year-old girl [TS]

00:37:53   would be a a jacket with giant shoulders [TS]

00:37:57   it's like and and and and i was training [TS]

00:38:00   my penis during this time to know what [TS]

00:38:04   it liked to be able to function in the [TS]

00:38:06   world [TS]

00:38:07   hmm and I'm looking around and I'm like [TS]

00:38:09   big shoulders geometric ear-rings like [TS]

00:38:14   ill fitting pants stirrups sweatshirt [TS]

00:38:20   does not add up John and I was just like [TS]

00:38:23   what am I and then then across the room [TS]

00:38:25   I see a girl who has not put any product [TS]

00:38:27   in her hair and I'm like it's she's from [TS]

00:38:31   another dimension she's from another [TS]

00:38:32   time she's wearing she's wearing army [TS]

00:38:35   pants and you know and I was and my [TS]

00:38:39   course was set but what if everybody had [TS]

00:38:41   just been dressing like normal people [TS]

00:38:43   back in the eighties maybe my life would [TS]

00:38:45   be totally different [TS]

00:38:46   I remember my friend saying I came to [TS]

00:38:48   school one time in a and just some [TS]

00:38:50   clothes just some clothes some normal [TS]

00:38:52   clothes and my friends like stage two in [TS]

00:38:57   an intervention like a mini intervention [TS]

00:38:59   in the hall and they're like dude are [TS]

00:39:03   you immune to embarrassment [TS]

00:39:05   why don't know what I'm sorry so what [TS]

00:39:06   counts is like nor money with your usual [TS]

00:39:09   kind of preppy Stan Smith look [TS]

00:39:11   no I mean I'm wearing I was wearing some [TS]

00:39:13   army pants that I got at the army-navy [TS]

00:39:15   surplus [TS]

00:39:16   door and I was wearing a shirt [TS]

00:39:20   I don't know but it might have had that [TS]

00:39:22   I went through a phase where i found a [TS]

00:39:25   whole roll of stickers that were little [TS]

00:39:28   rainy beers with legs remember the [TS]

00:39:32   rainier beers now that I think it's a [TS]

00:39:34   exclusively like Washington State things [TS]

00:39:37   rainier beers that use that they do the [TS]

00:39:38   commercial where there were a bunch of [TS]

00:39:40   giant rainier beers that had legs and [TS]

00:39:42   they like we're running through the [TS]

00:39:44   forest and the gun your goal as the [TS]

00:39:47   consumer was to was to chase these wild [TS]

00:39:50   reindeers fucking get the dts on pop up [TS]

00:39:54   and you're like the reindeers and needs [TS]

00:39:57   somebody see them and then maybe alway [TS]

00:39:59   across a meadow and then they would run [TS]

00:40:01   into the woods and you'd be like give [TS]

00:40:03   them the reindeers was it animated no no [TS]

00:40:07   they were live there but that's chilling [TS]

00:40:09   out live-action full-size rainier beers [TS]

00:40:11   down the houses and so they made [TS]

00:40:13   somebody made a bunch of stickers that [TS]

00:40:15   were like actually fabric little fabric [TS]

00:40:18   rainier beers with legs [TS]

00:40:21   oh I think that the community they look [TS]

00:40:22   almost like patches but you can have my [TS]

00:40:24   patches but they're stickers right and [TS]

00:40:26   and so all my friends had alligators on [TS]

00:40:28   their shirts and so this shirt might [TS]

00:40:31   have had a Rainier beer in place is [TS]

00:40:35   helping you when you meet the free bang [TS]

00:40:37   bang lady this is just this day in high [TS]

00:40:39   school when I was wearing army pants and [TS]

00:40:42   maybe it does look at charts courage [TS]

00:40:44   maybe the polo shirt that might have had [TS]

00:40:46   a Rainier beer instead of an alligator [TS]

00:40:48   and these guys were like you are [TS]

00:40:50   humiliating us they did like a every [TS]

00:40:53   near intervention [TS]

00:40:54   it was a little bit like a scene from [TS]

00:40:56   pretty in pink like um John really how [TS]

00:41:00   you are you gonna be going to like be a [TS]

00:41:03   loser or are you going to get with the [TS]

00:41:05   program and that the phrase they used [TS]

00:41:08   was immune to embarrassment [TS]

00:41:09   are you immune to embarrassment if you [TS]

00:41:11   send out signals that you don't want to [TS]

00:41:12   fit in and and and yet you know there [TS]

00:41:17   was across the room [TS]

00:41:18   this girl with her hair down and she [TS]

00:41:22   probably was just wearing some normal [TS]

00:41:24   tennis shoes [TS]

00:41:25   I mean we wouldn't we look we look like [TS]

00:41:27   you say that like that's a small [TS]

00:41:28   in this girl probably looked like the [TS]

00:41:30   only two but by today's standards we [TS]

00:41:32   would be the only two normal people if [TS]

00:41:35   you look at it what if they made a movie [TS]

00:41:37   about it right you would look at the at [TS]

00:41:40   me and this girl and you'd be like oh [TS]

00:41:41   there's two people that they forgot to [TS]

00:41:43   put in costume i was watching the great [TS]

00:41:44   American classic hot tub time machine [TS]

00:41:46   last night and of course they get all [TS]

00:41:48   caught there's two kinds of people in [TS]

00:41:50   the world will probably five but but [TS]

00:41:51   there's hangover people on the top of [TS]

00:41:53   Time Machine people and I am definitely [TS]

00:41:54   in the better group hot tub time machine [TS]

00:41:56   oh it's a far superior movie and but you [TS]

00:41:59   know that they play super fast and loose [TS]

00:42:01   with the references like you wouldn't [TS]

00:42:03   have safety dance and like those in [TS]

00:42:05   excess songs in the same period [TS]

00:42:06   whatever-it-was p90x 47 but i think they [TS]

00:42:09   kind of nailed in the production design [TS]

00:42:11   the kind of nailed a lot of the look [TS]

00:42:13   because it really was that stupid [TS]

00:42:14   I mean you know by the time it was in [TS]

00:42:16   the early to mid nineties the eighties [TS]

00:42:18   seemed much more David than seventies my [TS]

00:42:20   god i'm now looking back whatever you [TS]

00:42:22   know 25 30 years later it's it's [TS]

00:42:24   ridiculous and here's but even tennis [TS]

00:42:26   shoes like you have to have a certain [TS]

00:42:27   girls have a certain kind of kids but [TS]

00:42:29   they didn't wear kids if you were going [TS]

00:42:31   to wear kids if you're gonna wear tennis [TS]

00:42:33   shoes you have to work heads unless [TS]

00:42:34   you're like running track but otherwise [TS]

00:42:35   you'd wear like these weird flats but [TS]

00:42:38   those weird like white shoes everybody [TS]

00:42:40   like Daisy Duck yeah okay so anyway was [TS]

00:42:43   not a fresh i had read boat shoes but I [TS]

00:42:46   like a like a sperry top-sider yeah but [TS]

00:42:49   they were red [TS]

00:42:50   I had that top-siders where they read [TS]

00:42:52   their brownish right and so when it was [TS]

00:42:57   fresh friends playing when you saw her [TS]

00:42:58   was I it wasn't if you leave doesn't [TS]

00:43:00   play you know you never know it [TS]

00:43:03   here's the thing you may not know about [TS]

00:43:04   me I lost my virginity a little bit late [TS]

00:43:07   I was not a sixteen-year-old I was not a [TS]

00:43:09   fifteen-year-old I remember I dated a [TS]

00:43:12   girl one time who was who told me her [TS]

00:43:14   big like loser virginity story about how [TS]

00:43:18   she and her longtime boyfriend who had [TS]

00:43:20   long black hair to the to his belt [TS]

00:43:24   we're running a field of flowers or [TS]

00:43:27   something I mean shit this girl like [TS]

00:43:28   with at the time I thought she was [TS]

00:43:30   hallucinating when she talked about she [TS]

00:43:32   had this virtue of that identity this [TS]

00:43:34   idea of herself that she lost her [TS]

00:43:36   virginity and field of flowers with [TS]

00:43:37   their 15-year old [TS]

00:43:39   but one true love later on she was [TS]

00:43:42   looking at the singer from Soundgarden [TS]

00:43:44   do you play exactly look like chris [TS]

00:43:45   cornell later on she told me that hurt [TS]

00:43:47   the boy she was dating right before me [TS]

00:43:49   was a heroin act who rode his motorcycle [TS]

00:43:52   up the stairs of their house in San [TS]

00:43:54   Francisco they're leaving their Nob Hill [TS]

00:43:56   victorian that they were squatting in [TS]

00:43:58   rode his motorcycle up the stairs and [TS]

00:44:01   then she and he and some other girl made [TS]

00:44:06   passionate love all night together and [TS]

00:44:08   it was the freest any of them had ever [TS]

00:44:09   been is before livejournal yeah and then [TS]

00:44:12   and then she and I are going out and I'm [TS]

00:44:15   like well I work at a pizza parlor and [TS]

00:44:19   nicely and understand i don't and [TS]

00:44:22   physics scientists and motorcycles [TS]

00:44:24   dunkel narrow steps we both work in a [TS]

00:44:26   pizza parlor and i'm having a hard time [TS]

00:44:27   squaring that away with all of these [TS]

00:44:30   amazing stories are told you that at the [TS]

00:44:32   time [TS]

00:44:32   well know at the time every time i read [TS]

00:44:35   an interview with kurt cobain in the [TS]

00:44:37   newspaper where he said that he just [TS]

00:44:39   wrote all the lyrics to nevermind on the [TS]

00:44:41   bus on the way to the studio I took at [TS]

00:44:43   face value and i took this girl at face [TS]

00:44:45   value i was like wow your last boyfriend [TS]

00:44:46   was a heroin addict who rode his [TS]

00:44:48   motorcycle up the stairs of your knob [TS]

00:44:50   hill mansion and any during that and you [TS]

00:44:53   know I i had enough sense that i could [TS]

00:44:55   think back what surely you know that [TS]

00:44:58   wasn't only six months ago before she [TS]

00:45:03   left San Francisco and six months ago in [TS]

00:45:06   my own personal timeline i was sleeping [TS]

00:45:09   in a ford aerostar parked in a carport [TS]

00:45:11   and i was i was scraping people's bones [TS]

00:45:15   for a living and I'm like well then why [TS]

00:45:19   are you going out with me and she was [TS]

00:45:21   you know she kind of look look out the [TS]

00:45:24   window and say I'm not even sure and i'd [TS]

00:45:26   be like man I feel I feel like the [TS]

00:45:29   pressures on here to be the worst [TS]

00:45:31   boyfriend you ever had [TS]

00:45:33   I really I really feel like she's almost [TS]

00:45:36   daring you [TS]

00:45:37   yeah I feel like you are you are really [TS]

00:45:39   you want to see you want to see a guy [TS]

00:45:41   right as motorcycle up the stairs of [TS]

00:45:43   your house [TS]

00:45:43   I'm gonna do you one better I'm gonna [TS]

00:45:45   write them up my motorcycle up the [TS]

00:45:47   stairs of your heart [TS]

00:45:49   man but you know you're so I mean like I [TS]

00:45:57   i was so susceptible to stuff like that [TS]

00:45:59   maybe just maybe just because I was [TS]

00:46:01   insecure but it was so easy for me to be [TS]

00:46:04   drawn in to something like that regular [TS]

00:46:05   low [TS]

00:46:06   yea though you know if you could tell me [TS]

00:46:08   anything the craziest stories and [TS]

00:46:10   because i was so provincial I would sit [TS]

00:46:13   there wrapped you know what I mean yeah [TS]

00:46:15   for sure you know you meet people who [TS]

00:46:17   work in the service industry and talk [TS]

00:46:19   about their boat or whatever and you're [TS]

00:46:20   like wow that sounds like an awesome [TS]

00:46:21   vote [TS]

00:46:22   yeah when you leave 7-eleven at the end [TS]

00:46:24   of your shift must be great to go [TS]

00:46:26   yachting around the pathologist's Cody [TS]

00:46:27   river [TS]

00:46:28   yeah that that whole but the braggadocio [TS]

00:46:30   is is one thing that at a certain point [TS]

00:46:33   you realize like all the guys that you [TS]

00:46:35   were sitting around with in high school [TS]

00:46:36   who are telling you about the remote [TS]

00:46:38   control helicopter that they built that [TS]

00:46:40   could fire real missiles you realize [TS]

00:46:43   that there they were bullshitting the [TS]

00:46:45   whole time and yet when you when you're [TS]

00:46:48   getting that kind of your getting that [TS]

00:46:50   kind of flim-flam from a girl that [TS]

00:46:52   you're interested in and she's [TS]

00:46:54   flimflamming you about the time she lost [TS]

00:46:56   her virginity when she was 15 and field [TS]

00:46:57   of flowers with chris cornell you're [TS]

00:46:59   like this that is the female equivalent [TS]

00:47:02   of i built a remote-control uh [TS]

00:47:04   helicopter over the summer that fire [TS]

00:47:06   drill missiles and I killed a cat with [TS]

00:47:08   it or something like it's the same level [TS]

00:47:10   of bullshit but yeah I but I was not I [TS]

00:47:15   was not prepared for it but on a [TS]

00:47:17   practical level even today like if you [TS]

00:47:19   had a liquidity event in mind you would [TS]

00:47:24   still play along today I mean maybe you [TS]

00:47:27   as the estimate or John Roderick [TS]

00:47:28   wouldn't need that liquidity event [TS]

00:47:30   enough and you would go home to your [TS]

00:47:31   brow Playboy's but I think back then you [TS]

00:47:33   would go whoa this is a you know this is [TS]

00:47:37   dangerous and like even if it's BS it's [TS]

00:47:38   pretty great PS yeah it's a there's a [TS]

00:47:41   little bit of like whatever you say miss [TS]

00:47:42   but in my own case my own peculiar route [TS]

00:47:47   through life I i was busy trying to [TS]

00:47:50   reform girls for most of my teenage [TS]

00:47:52   years huh [TS]

00:47:53   when they would when they would come to [TS]

00:47:55   me and say like [TS]

00:47:57   [Music] [TS]

00:47:58   have you ever kissed a girl behind the [TS]

00:48:02   gym and I would look around and we would [TS]

00:48:04   happen to be standing behind the gym and [TS]

00:48:07   I would it would register like what she [TS]

00:48:11   was doing like the instinctively what I [TS]

00:48:14   would say is oh you don't you don't [TS]

00:48:17   really wanna kiss me [TS]

00:48:20   I think you're I think what you want is [TS]

00:48:23   to be friends maybe or to have have the [TS]

00:48:30   respect of a of oh you still stand very [TS]

00:48:34   qualities don't faze we're talking about [TS]

00:48:36   your you are helping people in a [TS]

00:48:37   different way than I was helping people [TS]

00:48:38   and I was like that kind of gender in [TS]

00:48:41   normative Pygmalion yeah i was i was [TS]

00:48:43   killing them softly with my lack of song [TS]

00:48:46   and so anyhow it did mention first of [TS]

00:48:50   all you know i'm guessing most girls at [TS]

00:48:52   that age that took some balls [TS]

00:48:53   well the pulse it took some took some [TS]

00:48:55   guts to say I'm like that to a guy [TS]

00:48:58   behind the gym you just have to ask [TS]

00:49:00   unless they're fast they were and then [TS]

00:49:01   maybe then they would look they would [TS]

00:49:03   look mortified and they would try and [TS]

00:49:05   play it off like they had been that they [TS]

00:49:07   have been kidding or whatever and then [TS]

00:49:09   it would be awkward between us remember [TS]

00:49:11   forever after so anyway I did not lose [TS]

00:49:13   my virginity until I was almost 20 years [TS]

00:49:15   old 19 and three quarters and even then [TS]

00:49:20   it was just because I happen to be at [TS]

00:49:22   this party I like I had no intention of [TS]

00:49:25   losing my virginity [TS]

00:49:27   I didn't realize that that was the thing [TS]

00:49:29   that I was gonna have to choose to do i [TS]

00:49:31   was out there in your like that night [TS]

00:49:33   when you are preparing and like putting [TS]

00:49:35   on deodorant choosing a shirt he didn't [TS]

00:49:37   like have that in mind [TS]

00:49:38   well in fact that day I had gone four [TS]

00:49:41   wheeling in a national park with a [TS]

00:49:43   friend of mine and had gotten arrested [TS]

00:49:45   and I've got arrested and then when the [TS]

00:49:51   and I was arrested by by national parks [TS]

00:49:55   employee a humiliating but no by well no [TS]

00:49:59   I mean those national parks guys I mean [TS]

00:50:00   he's a gun carrying Oh national parks [TS]

00:50:03   cop is a start that's right he is a is [TS]

00:50:07   literally a ranger [TS]

00:50:10   a ranger in the in the lord of the ring [TS]

00:50:12   sense etiquette and he arrested me [TS]

00:50:16   partly because i was so baked that I got [TS]

00:50:20   out of my truck and I turned the locking [TS]

00:50:22   hubs on my four-wheel-drive truck but I [TS]

00:50:26   had since I had been so drunk the night [TS]

00:50:28   before that I had had turned the hubs [TS]

00:50:31   and so I turned them off I I unplucked [TS]

00:50:34   the hub's thinking I was hooking them [TS]

00:50:37   and then I was four wheeling and I but I [TS]

00:50:40   wasn't in four-wheel drive and so I got [TS]

00:50:41   my truck stuck and then the national [TS]

00:50:44   park ranger came and arrested me for [TS]

00:50:46   four wheeling in a national park and [TS]

00:50:50   then he searched me and he found that I [TS]

00:50:52   was covered in drugs and they pulled out [TS]

00:50:56   and so anyway my friend my good friend [TS]

00:50:57   Peter who sometimes listen to this [TS]

00:50:59   podcast he was Peter was videotaping the [TS]

00:51:01   entire arrest home now and at a certain [TS]

00:51:04   point the park ranger pulls a pipe out [TS]

00:51:08   of my pocket that I had made out of a [TS]

00:51:10   ski pole so it was very look it's like a [TS]

00:51:14   peace pipe it was like a foot and a half [TS]

00:51:15   long made out of a a made out of a ski [TS]

00:51:18   pole did you have it on your person [TS]

00:51:20   added in my large jacket I a large [TS]

00:51:24   gore-tex jacket that had many of [TS]

00:51:26   multiple pockets and he certainly is [TS]

00:51:28   frisky me found this thing you pulled it [TS]

00:51:30   out and on the videotape you can see him [TS]

00:51:32   hold it up and look at it and look at me [TS]

00:51:34   and look back at the pipe just like what [TS]

00:51:35   the and then he goes to break it over [TS]

00:51:38   his knee but the pipe is made of [TS]

00:51:41   aluminum and it's just it's just that on [TS]

00:51:45   the video it's on the video it's just [TS]

00:51:47   short enough that he that he goes to [TS]

00:51:49   break across his knee and it and it [TS]

00:51:51   didn't even been he just like he just [TS]

00:51:53   cream disney with this thing and then [TS]

00:51:56   they can look at them and I made him so [TS]

00:51:57   mad that he handcuffed me and he put me [TS]

00:52:00   in the back of his of his blazer and [TS]

00:52:04   drove me down off of this mountain drove [TS]

00:52:08   me down to one so actually where sarah [TS]

00:52:09   palin is from with my friend Peter [TS]

00:52:12   following behind in the in my truck [TS]

00:52:14   video taping the whole out of here [TS]

00:52:16   videotaped it and got out of the whole [TS]

00:52:18   thing unscathed Peter Peter thing about [TS]

00:52:19   Peters he was like he was my Teflon [TS]

00:52:21   friend [TS]

00:52:22   Peter and I could be standing next to a [TS]

00:52:24   burning building and Peter would have [TS]

00:52:27   the gas can in his hand and a cop walk [TS]

00:52:30   up and arrest me and Peter be like okay [TS]

00:52:33   Johnny boy all Billy out when i get the [TS]

00:52:35   you know out so i gave Peter my my ATM [TS]

00:52:38   card i right he took the ATM car and [TS]

00:52:42   went and bought himself dinner before he [TS]

00:52:47   got the money out to bail me out and get [TS]

00:52:49   respect for you and clear with him about [TS]

00:52:51   what the card was 40 he videotaped [TS]

00:52:53   himself having dinner here and then the [TS]

00:52:57   you know he's like a loving this [TS]

00:52:59   sandwich thanks a lot Johnny boy and [TS]

00:53:01   he's like he's doing it as a left as [TS]

00:53:03   like a you know that was the kind of [TS]

00:53:04   that kind of sport we played on one [TS]

00:53:06   another but then he saw it so I'm I'm [TS]

00:53:09   like nobody knows wasting away in this [TS]

00:53:12   jail ain't got you get super drunk one [TS]

00:53:15   night you were high and four wheeling [TS]

00:53:16   international park that day you got [TS]

00:53:18   arrested [TS]

00:53:19   yeah and then so Peter finally comes he [TS]

00:53:21   bails me out of jail now it's like I [TS]

00:53:26   don't know what time it is still ten [TS]

00:53:27   eleven o'clock at night and we're all [TS]

00:53:29   the way out in Wasilla and we know about [TS]

00:53:31   this party that is literally called a [TS]

00:53:33   sex on the beach party you mean as in [TS]

00:53:36   the the mixed drink mixed drink because [TS]

00:53:39   the girls that are throwing the party or [TS]

00:53:40   like hehe sex on the beach we're making [TS]

00:53:42   these drinks and so Peter and I Drive to [TS]

00:53:46   the sex on the beach party may just [TS]

00:53:50   freshly sprung from jail and and [TS]

00:53:52   relieved of all my pot and other drugs [TS]

00:53:55   by the Ranger and we roll up into this [TS]

00:53:59   party and it's all these girls with the [TS]

00:54:00   stirrup pants and the high hair and then [TS]

00:54:03   there's this girl across the room with [TS]

00:54:05   black curly hair and no product in it [TS]

00:54:07   and I was like hmm what do you know [TS]

00:54:11   there's a girl here like me and little [TS]

00:54:15   by little everybody else you know it's [TS]

00:54:17   four o'clock in the morning and [TS]

00:54:18   everybody else has passed out or you [TS]

00:54:20   know vomiting in the driveway or [TS]

00:54:21   whatever and she and I are like kind of [TS]

00:54:23   the last men standing and fresh prince [TS]

00:54:28   is playing [TS]

00:54:30   and she says something to me and I [TS]

00:54:33   remember you know we're sitting on the [TS]

00:54:34   couch and I'd and I turned and you don't [TS]

00:54:38   know how old i am 19 years old I mean I [TS]

00:54:40   come on [TS]

00:54:41   right i turned her and I wrap some fresh [TS]

00:54:45   prince center and like a rap along with [TS]

00:54:50   the record but you happen to know and [TS]

00:54:54   that is me night and she was not 19 I [TS]

00:54:56   think she was 17 and she got a look on [TS]

00:55:00   her face that was not impressed but that [TS]

00:55:03   this is then this is most of the girls [TS]

00:55:05   that I've slept with in my life they get [TS]

00:55:07   a look on their face that is not [TS]

00:55:08   impressed but that thinks that's pretty [TS]

00:55:10   cute [TS]

00:55:11   you made an impression yeah and then and [TS]

00:55:15   then when I lost my virginity to her and [TS]

00:55:18   it was very definitely a case where I [TS]

00:55:21   don't I don't think she was a virgin at [TS]

00:55:23   all and I think that she didn't think I [TS]

00:55:25   was either so I was you know I was under [TS]

00:55:27   a little bit of pressure to pretend that [TS]

00:55:29   I was not pretend that this was not like [TS]

00:55:32   compass singular moment [TS]

00:55:34   did you know that you been in jail that [TS]

00:55:36   day I mean at that point I'm pretty sure [TS]

00:55:39   was the first thing Peter said when we [TS]

00:55:41   walked in the door of the party but he [TS]

00:55:43   doesn't have a tape of you guys have [TS]

00:55:44   intercourse right well he did he does [TS]

00:55:47   have a tape of himself barging into the [TS]

00:55:50   room the following morning and waking us [TS]

00:55:54   up tangled up in her bed videotaping us [TS]

00:55:58   and saying like wake up Johnny boy and [TS]

00:56:03   IIT may jump he made up on the bed i'm [TS]

00:56:05   not sure if this was you know this was [TS]

00:56:07   this is what kids have been doing for [TS]

00:56:09   thousands of years and pretty sure [TS]

00:56:12   Peters real someone else my club things [TS]

00:56:16   it i know for a fact that he's real [TS]

00:56:18   yeah the the number of you know Peter [TS]

00:56:20   and I met he went to a different high [TS]

00:56:21   school than i did he went to West Bank [TS]

00:56:23   which is called the good ozzy osbourne [TS]

00:56:25   one that's right i went to East [TS]

00:56:26   Anchorage high school it was the [TS]

00:56:27   low-rent of the two original high [TS]

00:56:30   schools West West was the first high [TS]

00:56:33   school in Anchorage and the people want [TS]

00:56:34   their thought that they were going to [TS]

00:56:36   the Yale of public high schools of [TS]

00:56:38   anchor like they really did they acted [TS]

00:56:40   like they were stay with somebody [TS]

00:56:41   special [TS]

00:56:42   and Peter Peter I went to different high [TS]

00:56:44   schools we barely knew each other we [TS]

00:56:45   knew each other from like some student [TS]

00:56:47   congress a event or something but hardly [TS]

00:56:51   just like a boy state kind of thing [TS]

00:56:53   yeah boise state right that's everything [TS]

00:56:55   we met we met there but didn't didn't [TS]

00:56:57   know each other and then I was [TS]

00:56:59   hitchhiking across the country and after [TS]

00:57:01   high school and I was up at middlebury [TS]

00:57:04   college visiting a guy another guy [TS]

00:57:06   didn't know and those guys kicked me out [TS]

00:57:09   and he said you should go down to [TS]

00:57:11   rutgers my friend Peters going there and [TS]

00:57:14   I had checked down to represent just [TS]

00:57:15   barged in on him and ended up staying in [TS]

00:57:18   his dorm room for like three weeks and [TS]

00:57:20   then we were we were we've been friends [TS]

00:57:22   ever since [TS]

00:57:23   and please have you kept in touch that [TS]

00:57:25   whole time yeah yeah the number of the [TS]

00:57:27   number of events the number of of like [TS]

00:57:29   adventures that he and I went on in a in [TS]

00:57:33   a you know very brief like four year [TS]

00:57:35   period where neither of us were really [TS]

00:57:38   living in the same place most of the [TS]

00:57:39   time but every time we were together we [TS]

00:57:41   would go on some kind of singular and [TS]

00:57:42   went to Europe together we went we lived [TS]

00:57:46   in washington DC together like we did a [TS]

00:57:48   lot of we did a lot of things peter is a [TS]

00:57:50   easy an adventurous guy and a good [TS]

00:57:54   friend although the type of going to a [TS]

00:57:57   that will take your credit card and by [TS]

00:58:00   himself dinner while you are like [TS]

00:58:01   languishing in jail i think it you know [TS]

00:58:03   can just say this if you have been if [TS]

00:58:05   he's finished bailing you out and you [TS]

00:58:07   edited the tape down you know I'd go [TS]

00:58:08   enjoy a sandwich but you know what John [TS]

00:58:10   first I mean it is your card that's not [TS]

00:58:13   how he that's not how you roles he was [TS]

00:58:15   he let you know when i'm sitting in [TS]

00:58:17   there like and that the sheriff is kind [TS]

00:58:19   of like running is under his keys up and [TS]

00:58:21   down there the bars like so looks like [TS]

00:58:23   your friends split on you so it was it [TS]

00:58:26   was bailed out you have to still you [TS]

00:58:29   know it doesn't derail it [TS]

00:58:30   no I had to go back and deal i had to [TS]

00:58:32   deal with the crime but now you have a [TS]

00:58:33   little experience I you know I got two [TS]

00:58:35   thoughts on this first of all like isn't [TS]

00:58:37   in retrospect if what you're saying is [TS]

00:58:39   even forty percent accurate and i'm sure [TS]

00:58:41   it is that you have a great memory but [TS]

00:58:43   you know it isn't pretty bananas like [TS]

00:58:46   after I look in my case I'll speak for [TS]

00:58:47   myself [TS]

00:58:49   speaking for you to but like months can [TS]

00:58:51   go by and did not that much really [TS]

00:58:53   happens but there's not that many things [TS]

00:58:55   where you go I've got a pretty crazy [TS]

00:58:57   story about the day i looked at youtube [TS]

00:59:00   or whatever and but think that it [TS]

00:59:02   doesn't seem so strange in retrospect [TS]

00:59:04   maybe the intensity of the memory that [TS]

00:59:06   like you could have so much happenin 48 [TS]

00:59:08   hours does not seem crazy in retrospect [TS]

00:59:10   yeah well and and particularly i mean [TS]

00:59:13   when i was 20 years old I could tell you [TS]

00:59:15   the top 10 times I was closest to death [TS]

00:59:19   and every one of those every one of [TS]

00:59:22   those stories would have been like what [TS]

00:59:26   no way seriously like to add 10 good [TS]

00:59:29   stories about like hanging by my [TS]

00:59:32   fingernails and now 24 years later like [TS]

00:59:38   eight of my top 10 best stories about [TS]

00:59:42   being close to death rir the same as [TS]

00:59:45   they were when i was 20 [TS]

00:59:47   well that seems good kind of I mean [TS]

00:59:49   wasn't it a kind of does but you know i [TS]

00:59:51   put i put most of those stories together [TS]

00:59:53   between the time i was 15 and 20 min [TS]

00:59:55   five years and it's been five years I [TS]

00:59:56   mean in the last five years I've been [TS]

00:59:56   mean in the last five years I've been [TS]

01:00:00   I've been working on this macaroni [TS]

01:00:01   macaroni art here and as it's still not [TS]

01:00:05   done it's all spread over the spread [TS]

01:00:06   over the floor of my office here making [TS]

01:00:08   kind of a macaroni George Washington you [TS]

01:00:10   know good things take time [TS]

01:00:12   I'll tell ya but I'm not going to tell [TS]

01:00:15   that story five years from now on fast [TS]

01:00:19   die young a lot what's crazy is there a [TS]

01:00:21   lot of people who died over those [TS]

01:00:25   adventures when they're 22 or 23 or 17 [TS]

01:00:30   you know who died and then he says he [TS]

01:00:32   doesn't kind of seemed like the odds [TS]

01:00:34   that that's that's the thing is like [TS]

01:00:35   anymore when you're saying all of this [TS]

01:00:37   it that's it kind of blows my mind given [TS]

01:00:42   so like you're just saying like eight of [TS]

01:00:43   your 10 best stories are from like 420 [TS]

01:00:46   like it's it doesn't seem destined to be [TS]

01:00:49   morose [TS]

01:00:50   oh yeah yeah i said my bad sex stories [TS]

01:00:52   right look for later but i'm not a [TS]

01:00:54   librarian but but yeah I'm doesn't seem [TS]

01:00:56   kind of crazy that like given the the [TS]

01:00:59   curve the trajectory that you are on [TS]

01:01:01   like I don't know a must [TS]

01:01:04   I don't know it must seem pretty weird [TS]

01:01:05   that like that you would make it out of [TS]

01:01:07   that [TS]

01:01:07   well it's it it is a it's it's one of [TS]

01:01:11   the reasons that a lot of the [TS]

01:01:13   hand-wringing that goes into talking [TS]

01:01:16   about teens and the culture that we are [TS]

01:01:19   raising teens in and how morally [TS]

01:01:22   bankrupt it is and how video games cause [TS]

01:01:24   violence and how you know we're not [TS]

01:01:28   teaching our kids the right sexual [TS]

01:01:29   politics and all this stuff in and and [TS]

01:01:33   that that that consumes a big part of [TS]

01:01:35   our national dialogue and the reality is [TS]

01:01:39   that i mean seventeen-year-olds have a [TS]

01:01:43   kind of death wish you can tell your kid [TS]

01:01:46   every day not to not to hang his head [TS]

01:01:50   out of the sunroof and try and drive his [TS]

01:01:52   car with his feet at a hundred and ten [TS]

01:01:55   miles an hour but right now somewhere in [TS]

01:01:59   America that's happening half a dozen [TS]

01:02:02   times there's some kid right now driving [TS]

01:02:04   his car with his feet a hundred miles an [TS]

01:02:05   hour with the headlights off on a dirt [TS]

01:02:07   road and you can talk about it being [TS]

01:02:10   part of the culture or his parents [TS]

01:02:13   didn't raise him writer any one of a [TS]

01:02:15   million things in it and it's really [TS]

01:02:17   none of those things it's just I mean [TS]

01:02:19   I've told you right when they have that [TS]

01:02:20   when they instituted the three-strikes [TS]

01:02:21   law up here in Washington I would open [TS]

01:02:25   the newspaper and read these articles [TS]

01:02:26   about like how this kid 24 years old [TS]

01:02:29   just got sentenced to life in prison [TS]

01:02:30   because he had his third strike and i [TS]

01:02:34   would read the description of the three [TS]

01:02:35   strikes and I'm just like man I have [TS]

01:02:38   done every one of those things i did all [TS]

01:02:40   three of those strikes worse than that [TS]

01:02:44   kid and I just didn't get pot and it's [TS]

01:02:47   not that I didn't get caught because I [TS]

01:02:48   was smart or faster [TS]

01:02:51   I just didn't get caught they're just [TS]

01:02:53   didn't happen to be a sheriff driving by [TS]

01:02:55   or they didn't happen to be you know I [TS]

01:02:57   missed the phone poll by a hair's [TS]

01:02:59   breadth reason you even look at that and [TS]

01:03:02   you see yourself but realize it was just [TS]

01:03:04   kind of dumb luck [TS]

01:03:05   absolutely i mean yeah you read those [TS]

01:03:06   three strikes I mean they don't they [TS]

01:03:08   don't prosecute people that same way [TS]

01:03:09   anymore but you read these three strikes [TS]

01:03:11   laws and it's like the first strike was [TS]

01:03:13   he was 17 and he stole his grandmother's [TS]

01:03:17   car and joy riding it [TS]

01:03:21   he rekted and to teach him a lesson [TS]

01:03:24   his grandmother press charges and they [TS]

01:03:28   try him as an adult because he he had [TS]

01:03:31   already gotten into some trouble smoking [TS]

01:03:33   pot in school and every person in that [TS]

01:03:35   chain didn't do it mean this they did it [TS]

01:03:37   out of thinking that it was gonna set [TS]

01:03:38   this kit straight [TS]

01:03:39   yeah and then he think absolutely his [TS]

01:03:42   second strike was a [TS]

01:03:45   breaking-and-entering because he and [TS]

01:03:47   some friends were drunk and her out in [TS]

01:03:49   the woods and they broke into a cabin [TS]

01:03:52   and stole some liquor out of the liquor [TS]

01:03:54   cabinet but the neighbor down the road [TS]

01:03:57   saw light on in the cabin and called the [TS]

01:03:59   troopers and the troopers came and they [TS]

01:04:02   were too drunk to run and so that's his [TS]

01:04:04   second strike but they prosecuted it as [TS]

01:04:06   a breaking-and-entering because his dad [TS]

01:04:08   wasn't a lawyer and he you know and he [TS]

01:04:13   got nine months in jail which he served [TS]

01:04:16   and then he got out and then his third [TS]

01:04:20   strike was that he was selling ecstasy [TS]

01:04:24   and he's 21 years old he was selling [TS]

01:04:27   ecstasy at a rave and he sold ecstasy to [TS]

01:04:31   some 16 year olds and he was 21 and it [TS]

01:04:36   was a felony charge and that's his third [TS]

01:04:39   strike and gets life in prison and I and [TS]

01:04:42   I read and there's so many articles like [TS]

01:04:44   that are there were we just run down the [TS]

01:04:46   list and you're like to think there was [TS]

01:04:47   no he never even fired a gun in the air [TS]

01:04:50   like there was no he never burn anything [TS]

01:04:52   down [TS]

01:04:53   he never led police on a chase I mean [TS]

01:04:57   all three times it was just like pretty [TS]

01:04:59   much falls in the category of what to me [TS]

01:05:02   at least at the time seemed like [TS]

01:05:04   innocent hijinks like call you broke [TS]

01:05:06   into a mountain cabin come on who hasn't [TS]

01:05:07   done that a thousand times but wasn't [TS]

01:05:10   like it was like three hostage [TS]

01:05:11   situations or three like bombings or [TS]

01:05:14   something only even yeah like no one [TS]

01:05:16   ever got hurt and it was and it was like [TS]

01:05:19   some low-level minorly drug shit some [TS]

01:05:22   minor league like breaking and entering [TS]

01:05:25   I mean come on I I broke and entered [TS]

01:05:29   into a lot of places and never took [TS]

01:05:35   anything other than like a bowl of ice [TS]

01:05:37   cream and half of the time i left a note [TS]

01:05:39   but like I needed a place to sleep for a [TS]

01:05:42   minute it was a mountain cabin I was out [TS]

01:05:45   that was between that was between beds [TS]

01:05:48   or whatever there's a million reasons [TS]

01:05:49   why you might find yourself living in a [TS]

01:05:53   shotgun Shack [TS]

01:05:55   you might find yourself in another part [TS]

01:05:57   of the world and and every one of those [TS]

01:06:02   you know the number of cars that i [TS]

01:06:04   borrowed and maybe got high centered on [TS]

01:06:08   a stump outside of Golden Colorado [TS]

01:06:11   hypothetically or Horton AP you know ran [TS]

01:06:16   into some wetlands and and in a lot of [TS]

01:06:20   cases like either either kind of got [TS]

01:06:24   away with it or didn't or didn't get [TS]

01:06:26   prosecuted for it and all that stuff [TS]

01:06:28   it's just crazy let alone the kids that [TS]

01:06:31   were doing that and Cygnus that is agony [TS]

01:06:33   and died you know that I've told you [TS]

01:06:37   about the friend of mine who was in left [TS]

01:06:39   a party and cutting through backyards [TS]

01:06:42   top defense and got his pants caught on [TS]

01:06:45   the on the fence and couldn't get his [TS]

01:06:48   parents are dislodged and and passed out [TS]

01:06:51   and froze to death what it's like he's a [TS]

01:06:54   he's a friend of mine and they found him [TS]

01:06:58   in the morning likes frozen solid [TS]

01:07:01   hang on this fence by his belt loop and [TS]

01:07:03   you're in you must be thinking like [TS]

01:07:04   you've done so much stupider with my [TS]

01:07:08   awfully stupid stuff in there come on i [TS]

01:07:10   mean like you know like we used to climb [TS]

01:07:13   up here and as another thing my print my [TS]

01:07:16   buddy Peter and I used to climb up on [TS]

01:07:17   the second story of this cabin that was [TS]

01:07:20   surrounded by logged area and we would [TS]

01:07:26   jump off the second story of this cabin [TS]

01:07:28   and um and like just three fall [TS]

01:07:32   face-first and land in the snow [TS]

01:07:36   what from like but like 15 20 feet up [TS]

01:07:40   I mean you have the the peak of a [TS]

01:07:42   two-story cabin so God and you know we [TS]

01:07:45   would like swan dive but there were [TS]

01:07:47   which is like okay sure there's five [TS]

01:07:50   feet of snow and and and we had none of [TS]

01:07:51   us ever got hurt but all around this [TS]

01:07:53   cabin there were stumps just like tree [TS]

01:07:56   stumps and we never landed on one but [TS]

01:08:00   you wouldn't know i mean the snow was [TS]

01:08:02   just deep enough that you wouldn't know [TS]

01:08:04   where the tree stumps were so [TS]

01:08:05   you jump off the roof of the cabin and [TS]

01:08:07   and when I what about the time that you [TS]

01:08:10   just land chest first on a 3-inch tree [TS]

01:08:15   stump or something but again it's [TS]

01:08:16   another kind of dumb lock stupid just [TS]

01:08:19   stupid locked and the so so I mean the [TS]

01:08:23   number of the the top ten times that I [TS]

01:08:25   could have died all those good stories [TS]

01:08:28   involve actual motorcycle crashes floor [TS]

01:08:31   like freight train high jinks or gunplay [TS]

01:08:34   like bad scenes where hilariously I [TS]

01:08:38   avoid dying but but the shit where you [TS]

01:08:41   just were just like hopping over a fence [TS]

01:08:43   in the middle of the winner or write or [TS]

01:08:47   uh we were to know sharing across a [TS]

01:08:49   frozen lake one time and the lake [TS]

01:08:51   started to break like started to go and [TS]

01:08:54   we were running and the and the to the [TS]

01:08:57   ice was heaving and like water was kind [TS]

01:09:04   of chasing us across this lake and [TS]

01:09:05   because we were on snowshoes we weren't [TS]

01:09:07   we were staying up it didn't know it was [TS]

01:09:11   a lake when you're crossing it [TS]

01:09:13   oh yeah we know it was like two minutes [TS]

01:09:14   yeah clearly the late feels different [TS]

01:09:16   when you're walking on [TS]

01:09:17   well there are no trees like you're [TS]

01:09:20   walking through the forest and then you [TS]

01:09:21   come to the an area that is that is like [TS]

01:09:24   a frozen lake [TS]

01:09:26   it looks it looks like a lake except [TS]

01:09:27   it's frozen [TS]

01:09:29   so while back because it's because it's [TS]

01:09:32   a big lake and you're trying to get to [TS]

01:09:33   the other side of it and it's already [TS]

01:09:35   around you don't want to go around and [TS]

01:09:37   and and you can walk across the frozen [TS]

01:09:39   lake on snowshoes and it's not a problem [TS]

01:09:40   except these are these situations like i [TS]

01:09:43   was describing where we would land on a [TS]

01:09:44   float plane for Lansky plan on the swamp [TS]

01:09:47   because the swamp is generating all this [TS]

01:09:50   methane and there and there's the [TS]

01:09:51   springs are keeping them there at the [TS]

01:09:55   lake never completely freezes and you [TS]

01:09:57   can't tell one from the other and we're [TS]

01:09:59   halfway across this thing you know when [TS]

01:10:02   you're walking on frozen lakes the bank [TS]

01:10:04   the crack you hear the cracking but it [TS]

01:10:07   doesn't mean that you're going to fall [TS]

01:10:08   through but in this case like it cracked [TS]

01:10:10   and then big big panels started to move [TS]

01:10:15   like we were on a piece of ice that was [TS]

01:10:17   you know 50 feet across and it started [TS]

01:10:20   to go and we're running for the edge and [TS]

01:10:25   it starts to you know it starts to tilt [TS]

01:10:28   and slide and we jump then hit the next [TS]

01:10:32   section which starts to crack and break [TS]

01:10:34   and stilton slide and the snowshoes are [TS]

01:10:37   keeping us keeping us on top of the snow [TS]

01:10:41   so we're not you know if we had just [TS]

01:10:45   been in Boots it wouldn't we would have [TS]

01:10:46   gone into this lake which is i I'm I'm [TS]

01:10:50   not I'm not describing a very well [TS]

01:10:51   because this lake was in the middle of [TS]

01:10:53   nowhere it's you know it's a hundred [TS]

01:10:55   miles from anywhere and if either of us [TS]

01:10:58   any if we had gone in it would have been [TS]

01:11:00   that would have been the end there's [TS]

01:11:02   nobody there to rescue us and there was [TS]

01:11:04   no they would never have found us you [TS]

01:11:06   know what I mean you would have just [TS]

01:11:07   gone in and under the ice and gone [TS]

01:11:10   forever and so all that kind of stuff [TS]

01:11:13   where you're like that doesn't even [TS]

01:11:14   that's not even on the list of stories [TS]

01:11:15   that's just like one that's just a day [TS]

01:11:17   in the left but there are people who go [TS]

01:11:21   out and never come back and and they're [TS]

01:11:23   on a list of their own list of mysteries [TS]

01:11:26   and it does give it does give one pause [TS]

01:11:30   particularly particularly on the like [TS]

01:11:33   400 consecutive day that I'm sitting in [TS]

01:11:36   my computer looking bring a trailer calm [TS]

01:11:38   and trying to imagine if I can fit into [TS]

01:11:41   an alpha romão that I have earned this [TS]

01:11:45   leisure by somehow surviving all these [TS]

01:11:50   is your msn emeritus yeah yeah something [TS]

01:11:54   that's right like i am a retired the [TS]

01:11:56   retired director of the dumbass of [TS]

01:11:59   American and I'm sitting in my dotage [TS]

01:12:02   here just kind of squandering my my file [TS]

01:12:06   my life squandering my adult life that [TS]

01:12:09   all these amazing adventurous crazy kids [TS]

01:12:13   are deprived of because they either died [TS]

01:12:17   or in jail for shit that you know shit [TS]

01:12:22   it was just just they just did when they [TS]

01:12:25   should have zagged and I don't have any [TS]

01:12:32   sense that i was saved for a reason or [TS]

01:12:35   that i was at the problem that I [TS]

01:12:37   survived because i was small it was it [TS]

01:12:39   wasn't like there was one time you know [TS]

01:12:41   we let some kind of like a clean and got [TS]

01:12:44   the life and then one time you prayed [TS]

01:12:45   and it turned out better than you'd [TS]

01:12:46   hoped right and there's no fucking [TS]

01:12:49   reason you're alive [TS]

01:12:50   it's completely bananas when I mean I [TS]

01:12:53   swear you open up the Sunday paper and [TS]

01:12:55   there will be some article about a [TS]

01:12:56   seventeen-year-old girl in a in a [TS]

01:13:00   volkswagen cabriolet that our Father [TS]

01:13:02   butter as a graduation present who along [TS]

01:13:05   with three friends went off the road and [TS]

01:13:08   they're thrown from the car and they're [TS]

01:13:10   dead and you're just like yet what how [TS]

01:13:13   does that how do you prevent that you [TS]

01:13:14   don't I mean you cannot buy her a [TS]

01:13:16   cabriolet so she does it in a minute [TS]

01:13:19   used a honda civic or whatever it's just [TS]

01:13:22   like some people don't make it look at [TS]

01:13:26   the guy ran sound at the place where [TS]

01:13:28   we're all over all of our bands played [TS]

01:13:30   you know typical kind of local sound man [TS]

01:13:33   in front of the owners and he's a party [TS]

01:13:36   one night and he jumped off a diving [TS]

01:13:38   board when there wasn't like water and [TS]

01:13:41   then he got it was just from then on he [TS]

01:13:44   was like in the Stephen Hawking [TS]

01:13:45   situation like little the little chair [TS]

01:13:48   with the battery and stuff and that you [TS]

01:13:51   know not to be morose but I mean God I [TS]

01:13:54   in retrospect I've done such high i'm [TS]

01:13:57   not i'm a pykrete compare d like i have [TS]

01:13:59   not played on the same level you're [TS]

01:14:00   playing but like getting everybody who's [TS]

01:14:02   under 25 does shit that will hair them [TS]

01:14:06   just is a superb if they will blow your [TS]

01:14:10   way that will make your scrote suck up [TS]

01:14:13   into your body when you think about like [TS]

01:14:15   how close you were [TS]

01:14:17   and lets just hear the other thing and [TS]

01:14:18   these are just the ones you know about [TS]

01:14:20   setting aside the like you step off the [TS]

01:14:23   curb and some idiot hits you but I mean [TS]

01:14:26   like all the times where you like made [TS]

01:14:28   some step that a even 30 year old person [TS]

01:14:31   go what the fuck were you thinking [TS]

01:14:33   yeah I mean we will have these in [TS]

01:14:35   I i saw this article I don't know why I [TS]

01:14:37   mishmash all these turns out articles [TS]

01:14:39   but two things i remember reading the [TS]

01:14:40   last year so one of them is that my [TS]

01:14:42   shrink actually said this is like this [TS]

01:14:44   kind of important middle part of your [TS]

01:14:46   brain that doesn't really finish forming [TS]

01:14:49   into your liking your mid-twenties m [TS]

01:14:51   campus could be that's the little [TS]

01:14:55   seahorse that lives that's where the [TS]

01:14:57   hippos live it's one of the kids go to [TS]

01:14:58   college i'm giving you a bell in my head [TS]

01:15:03   my corpus callosum but ah but but you [TS]

01:15:07   know you hear these turns out stories [TS]

01:15:09   there was one of few months ago about [TS]

01:15:10   the the fact that like teenagers are [TS]

01:15:12   like not only are they kind of not done [TS]

01:15:15   baking brain-wise but there's a certain [TS]

01:15:17   you have to google this but there's a [TS]

01:15:19   certain kind of chemistry that people in [TS]

01:15:21   their teens have that kind of makes them [TS]

01:15:23   take risks like your kind of hardwired [TS]

01:15:26   to be a dumbass at a certain point it's [TS]

01:15:28   kind of astonishing that anybody makes [TS]

01:15:30   it long enough to lose their virginity [TS]

01:15:32   let alone get arrested [TS]

01:15:33   yeah I mean it's kind of a you know what [TS]

01:15:35   I mean it's like if we didn't have all [TS]

01:15:37   this great healthcare and airbags you [TS]

01:15:39   know it's it seems that there would be a [TS]

01:15:41   lot more of them and it's the same kind [TS]

01:15:43   of thing that makes me maybe something [TS]

01:15:45   that makes you want to join the army [TS]

01:15:46   maybe it's kind of thing that makes you [TS]

01:15:47   want to base jump like right now I guess [TS]

01:15:49   it varies a lot but I mean it's like [TS]

01:15:51   it's the first of its the fundamental [TS]

01:15:53   like it's it's what so dichotomous about [TS]

01:15:57   us is that we are so hard to kill [TS]

01:15:59   and yet so easy to kill and it's one of [TS]

01:16:02   the things that I let's profound about [TS]

01:16:05   having a child is just like you [TS]

01:16:09   you see how resilient of human being is [TS]

01:16:12   like they're very hard to injure and yet [TS]

01:16:16   at the same time you can turn around and [TS]

01:16:17   and just one one false move all right i [TS]

01:16:22   mean like my kid got away from me for 30 [TS]

01:16:24   seconds a target last week and I almost [TS]

01:16:25   lost my mind you know I mean I felt like [TS]

01:16:27   such as such a weird helicopter dad but [TS]

01:16:30   but I mean like like and I really don't [TS]

01:16:33   sound glib about this but you know you [TS]

01:16:35   think about God the horrible loss like [TS]

01:16:37   to try drowning I don't know if you [TS]

01:16:38   actually googled that but on the kind of [TS]

01:16:41   horrible like a god you can never see it [TS]

01:16:43   coming kind of thing that we will take a [TS]

01:16:45   child's life but then you also think [TS]

01:16:46   about like one [TS]

01:16:47   guy who's like 22 or 23 like being kind [TS]

01:16:52   of a funny [TS]

01:16:53   hi jerk at a party and now like the the [TS]

01:16:57   car key and part of it is he's going to [TS]

01:16:59   live but he's gotta have a little straw [TS]

01:17:02   and a chair with a battery [TS]

01:17:04   yeah like for the next like 60 years [TS]

01:17:07   yeah and it's like that's the part where [TS]

01:17:09   like you know when I was getting like [TS]

01:17:10   like a god [TS]

01:17:12   you know I don't have many stories like [TS]

01:17:13   yours not by a long shot but in [TS]

01:17:16   retrospect a lot of things that given my [TS]

01:17:17   background we're extremely close calls [TS]

01:17:19   you know we're like getting busted and [TS]

01:17:21   busted are almost busted for drinking or [TS]

01:17:24   drugs and like I think about like how [TS]

01:17:26   they could have been a little bit [TS]

01:17:27   different you know justjust if that a [TS]

01:17:29   gun just the slightest bit different you [TS]

01:17:31   know let alone that like you know I was [TS]

01:17:33   not a drinker driver I've never have [TS]

01:17:34   been but you know like that kind of [TS]

01:17:37   thing like you know you just hear these [TS]

01:17:40   stories these chillin got this is [TS]

01:17:42   entertaining because horribly chilling [TS]

01:17:44   stories about somebody who's just a [TS]

01:17:47   fucking kid and there and there being [TS]

01:17:49   like us and then silly and they run [TS]

01:17:52   through a stop sign and like you know I [TS]

01:17:55   kill a sophomore with a promising future [TS]

01:17:57   and I like trains like the rest of their [TS]

01:18:00   life they're just going to what the fuck [TS]

01:18:01   like well just to take this just to [TS]

01:18:03   really shift gears on this conversation [TS]

01:18:05   and really put the pedal to the medal [TS]

01:18:08   really cold activated [TS]

01:18:09   I'm gonna I'm gonna pop the tab on my [TS]

01:18:12   you can of guinness and it's good Phil [TS]

01:18:15   it's gonna it's gonna make the Guinness [TS]

01:18:17   and a little just about anything they [TS]

01:18:18   have little things matter came out of [TS]

01:18:20   the tap of the warm tap of a english [TS]

01:18:24   club is this whole business of like you [TS]

01:18:28   turn around your kid is gone [TS]

01:18:29   if you're at the playground turn around [TS]

01:18:32   your kids gone right and you didn't do [TS]

01:18:35   anything wrong [TS]

01:18:36   you're just there and they were there [TS]

01:18:37   and then it they're gone and you never [TS]

01:18:39   see them again [TS]

01:18:40   like how do you like how do you [TS]

01:18:43   contextualize that howdy hi I'm so good [TS]

01:18:45   at generally not thinking about that [TS]

01:18:47   like I have to say for as insecure as I [TS]

01:18:49   am as weird and helicopter as I am I [TS]

01:18:52   don't obsess about that and I have [TS]

01:18:54   because I am so anxious a lot of the [TS]

01:18:56   time i actually do pretty well sometimes [TS]

01:18:59   less [TS]

01:18:59   friends yelling at me to call 911 I [TS]

01:19:01   generally do pretty well on a slightly [TS]

01:19:03   stressful situation because i tend to go [TS]

01:19:05   straight into like okay finally have [TS]

01:19:07   what I don't think I have something for [TS]

01:19:09   this all this focus that I have this [TS]

01:19:10   will be useful if it's a lot i'm at [TS]

01:19:13   target and I said you know listen we [TS]

01:19:14   gotta go i'm gonna start walking this [TS]

01:19:16   way and I and she wasn't there and just [TS]

01:19:21   in this case and but i stopped for a [TS]

01:19:23   second wait a minute [TS]

01:19:24   like I dunno as I have counseled my kid [TS]

01:19:28   the main thing to remember is not to [TS]

01:19:29   freak out like there's nothing that's [TS]

01:19:31   ever been made better panicking and so I [TS]

01:19:33   stopped for a second I got a little [TS]

01:19:34   logical and I realized how far even add [TS]

01:19:37   up [TS]

01:19:38   yeah it's like Tommy Lee Jones but even [TS]

01:19:40   at like a like a sprint how far she [TS]

01:19:42   would go and I thought well i'm gonna [TS]

01:19:44   risk my dignity and I yelled her name [TS]

01:19:46   really loud but not crazily like three [TS]

01:19:48   times and then I walked toward where I [TS]

01:19:50   thought she would be and you know the [TS]

01:19:52   deal and being lost right when you're [TS]

01:19:53   lost like like stay in one place [TS]

01:19:55   right right i think the too far beyond [TS]

01:19:57   the perimeter and found 30 seconds and [TS]

01:19:59   then suddenly relieved and then all the [TS]

01:20:01   stress of my regular life came back but [TS]

01:20:03   in that case I know but but you know I [TS]

01:20:05   haven't had too many of those but like [TS]

01:20:07   now she goes places and takes the field [TS]

01:20:09   trips on buses and you go like oh he [TS]

01:20:13   just yeah you put her in the hands of [TS]

01:20:16   some other person who's right and you do [TS]

01:20:19   everything their own list of time but [TS]

01:20:20   now here's and this is our crazy on Form [TS]

01:20:22   brain is like you can like you certainly [TS]

01:20:24   know this you can sit around and like [TS]

01:20:25   process that and overthink that all day [TS]

01:20:27   long and does exactly jack shit about [TS]

01:20:30   reality right which is that like you [TS]

01:20:32   know add the equivalent of a drone could [TS]

01:20:36   come along anytime was just stupid shit [TS]

01:20:38   just happens your hand and you know and [TS]

01:20:40   there's like it could be both of us [TS]

01:20:42   killed in a crosswalk you know I mean [TS]

01:20:43   not to be morose but the thing is i [TS]

01:20:47   don't know i think you can obsess about [TS]

01:20:48   that stuff too much or you get you get [TS]

01:20:51   really weird and I think you generate a [TS]

01:20:54   level of anxiety and your kids it's not [TS]

01:20:56   useful for anybody [TS]

01:20:57   yeah it's like today I say as though I'm [TS]

01:20:59   great at it [TS]

01:21:01   the are you familiar with the great man [TS]

01:21:04   theory of history and you know you [TS]

01:21:06   talked about a lot but i don't think [TS]

01:21:07   i've ever gotten a eight and according [TS]

01:21:09   to Hoyle acceptance of that so I would [TS]

01:21:10   you know the the great man theory [TS]

01:21:12   history is just that it was very out of [TS]

01:21:14   fashion John's very out of fashion when [TS]

01:21:16   you were in college [TS]

01:21:17   that's right very out of fashion as it [TS]

01:21:18   turns on the idea that Charlemagne and [TS]

01:21:20   Napoleon that these kind of singular [TS]

01:21:22   people gonna bark ranch fucking three [TS]

01:21:25   fucking French people that's right it [TS]

01:21:26   was that because that's all history went [TS]

01:21:28   through friends if he said all went [TS]

01:21:30   through and what all went through often [TS]

01:21:31   when Hawkins part of friends but in any [TS]

01:21:34   case all of history turns on these [TS]

01:21:36   giants these giant a pivot people and it [TS]

01:21:41   was very unfashionable for a long time [TS]

01:21:42   in the university but it's all but but [TS]

01:21:44   in my own personal history [TS]

01:21:46   I look back and I think if i had not if [TS]

01:21:50   I had not met person X and instead of [TS]

01:21:58   having met person axle had met person [TS]

01:22:01   why would my whole life be different [TS]

01:22:03   because as you're searching for you know [TS]

01:22:07   if you're searching for meaning you're [TS]

01:22:08   searching for a narrative in your own [TS]

01:22:10   life [TS]

01:22:11   these tentpole people like oh yeah right [TS]

01:22:16   i only lost my virginity to one girl and [TS]

01:22:18   and it's my case in my kids yeah what if [TS]

01:22:22   you're lucky he just how is it 21 I [TS]

01:22:25   didn't really I didn't ride my [TS]

01:22:26   motorcycle up the stairs and lose my [TS]

01:22:27   virginity to two girls I just had the [TS]

01:22:30   one and I got lucky in that case but you [TS]

01:22:33   know I feel like I feel like my high [TS]

01:22:35   school girlfriend who was a wonderful [TS]

01:22:36   who you know is a wonderful productive [TS]

01:22:38   member of society mulatto Irish brogue [TS]

01:22:41   and I'm sure that I'm sure the chief [TS]

01:22:43   votes in all the elections and I and she [TS]

01:22:46   probably pays her taxes with a minimum [TS]

01:22:49   of complaints but I you know if if I had [TS]

01:22:53   gone a different way if i had met a [TS]

01:22:54   different person of my high school [TS]

01:22:56   girlfriend have been a different person [TS]

01:22:57   i think my life would have been a lot [TS]

01:22:58   different and it's the same it's the [TS]

01:23:02   same kind of idea and now that I'm [TS]

01:23:04   looking at my kid you know I want her [TS]

01:23:06   first boyfriend to be somebody nice and [TS]

01:23:09   i know i can't do anything about it [TS]

01:23:11   certainly I can't do anything about it [TS]

01:23:12   now and all you can do is try and make [TS]

01:23:15   her a good person and hope that she gets [TS]

01:23:17   lucky you know it's not that I it's not [TS]

01:23:19   that I chose wrong it's just that i [TS]

01:23:21   didn't get lucky in the hot in the high [TS]

01:23:23   school girlfriend sweepstakes like [TS]

01:23:25   that's the that's the that's the trick [TS]

01:23:28   like I didn't choose wrong i chose the [TS]

01:23:30   hosp correctly and it and like wasn't on [TS]

01:23:35   my side and thats the in in my own life [TS]

01:23:40   I can I just run by and for the most [TS]

01:23:43   part shrug but when you have a we have a [TS]

01:23:46   kid and you look at her future and you [TS]

01:23:48   think like oh my god luck luck is gonna [TS]

01:23:51   play into this somehow i'm trying to do [TS]

01:23:53   everything right that just won't do [TS]

01:23:56   and you're going to roll into some [TS]

01:23:57   school and there's gonna be some guy and [TS]

01:24:00   he's gonna seem awesome great and it's [TS]

01:24:03   just like he really seems to left kids [TS]

01:24:06   it turns out he doesn't it turns out [TS]

01:24:08   he's not myself like I thought you know [TS]

01:24:11   you you will handle this so much better [TS]

01:24:13   than me [TS]

01:24:14   um I know what I mean I actually thought [TS]

01:24:17   about that a lot and i'm reluctant to [TS]

01:24:19   say anything because I don't want to [TS]

01:24:20   sound callous but I really don't want to [TS]

01:24:23   sound callous but you know I mean the [TS]

01:24:25   one thing I try to keep in mind is I [TS]

01:24:29   don't know just that I mean II wonder if [TS]

01:24:33   you were nervous about me but sometimes [TS]

01:24:35   I can be a somewhat anxious person [TS]

01:24:36   wait we're hanging on which one of my [TS]

01:24:39   way to edit your the way to design my [TS]

01:24:42   t-shirt driven by fear a turned on my VC [TS]

01:24:45   her see what I've had for years but the [TS]

01:24:48   design by fear and talk soon found [TS]

01:24:52   driven by pierre football don't think [TS]

01:24:57   that's what Stewart Copeland calls [TS]

01:24:58   anyway I but I mean like and you can [TS]

01:25:01   probably get a cynical person could see [TS]

01:25:03   this is playing the odds but I in the [TS]

01:25:06   with the prospect of what I could [TS]

01:25:08   potentially pass on to her with my [TS]

01:25:10   ridiculous amount of anxiety like it you [TS]

01:25:12   know and there's no way i can I used to [TS]

01:25:14   think that i couldn't i used to think [TS]

01:25:16   that I could successfully not pass on [TS]

01:25:19   not simply my own anxieties but the [TS]

01:25:21   anxieties that were visited upon me and [TS]

01:25:22   became mine among people have to imagine [TS]

01:25:25   on some level is super personal and I [TS]

01:25:27   should shut up but I mean I think about [TS]

01:25:28   like you and your dad like there must be [TS]

01:25:29   things about your life you wish were [TS]

01:25:30   different you love your wonderful a [TS]

01:25:32   father and but there must be certain [TS]

01:25:34   things really I wish I [TS]

01:25:35   could go in and kind of scrub through [TS]

01:25:37   this video a little bit and change a [TS]

01:25:39   couple things about it because certainly [TS]

01:25:41   had an impact for the positive in some [TS]

01:25:43   ways but you know you probably think [TS]

01:25:44   you'd like to do differently i think i [TS]

01:25:46   would have been a bass player [TS]

01:25:47   really yeah i think you're amazing and [TS]

01:25:50   you would have lost your virginity a lot [TS]

01:25:52   earlier I think you're a bass player [TS]

01:25:54   singer-songwriter you can control a band [TS]

01:25:58   yes from like the puppet master chair [TS]

01:26:02   like an applicant bum look at the bottom [TS]

01:26:04   where my name is mud has a singer guitar [TS]

01:26:07   player right you're just like here with [TS]

01:26:11   my honda civic of people [TS]

01:26:13   yeah you're really here lying on all [TS]

01:26:16   these mechanics to tell you like what [TS]

01:26:20   you know that to run a diagnostic on [TS]

01:26:22   your current tell you what the chip says [TS]

01:26:23   and you're just sitting there with your [TS]

01:26:25   fucking guitar in your see Kourtney G [TS]

01:26:27   chord and you don't know you don't know [TS]

01:26:29   what they mean you don't you're just [TS]

01:26:30   like you're like uh ok I'll pay whatever [TS]

01:26:34   it is I'll pay whatever it costs just [TS]

01:26:35   please just play my song just wanna [TS]

01:26:38   drive up to actually drive out the [TS]

01:26:40   garage tonight dignity intact [TS]

01:26:41   yeah but if you're the bass player [TS]

01:26:43   singer yeah then I don't know I just [TS]

01:26:46   feel like I could have I could give you [TS]

01:26:48   a great example that comports with what [TS]

01:26:49   you're describing keep the no-hit les [TS]

01:26:52   claypool that's the thing there that the [TS]

01:26:55   guy from winger Kip Winger oh you gotta [TS]

01:26:57   let me let me I feel but the thing is [TS]

01:27:00   McCartney right yeah it's a good example [TS]

01:27:06   yeah i mean i think he is like lou [TS]

01:27:09   barlow I think he is at heart a guitar [TS]

01:27:11   player [TS]

01:27:11   yeah I know he's famous for bass the [TS]

01:27:15   chances base got louder and louder over [TS]

01:27:16   the years [TS]

01:27:17   well that was that was the whole thing [TS]

01:27:19   becomes really love songs it was [TS]

01:27:21   literally all you could hear ya okay I'm [TS]

01:27:23   gonna get past this one thing and then [TS]

01:27:25   we can check-in job just the one thing [TS]

01:27:27   I'm going to say is that like I'm trying [TS]

01:27:29   to let go of this meta anxiety which is [TS]

01:27:31   this idea that like I have any kind of [TS]

01:27:34   control over these things I don't really [TS]

01:27:36   have control over so i want to do you [TS]

01:27:38   like doing that though [TS]

01:27:39   well i think i'm i'm not saying i'm good [TS]

01:27:43   at but but but I i do think that [TS]

01:27:47   you know that'll don't think they say [TS]

01:27:49   word you know dogs can smell fear like [TS]

01:27:52   I'm i'm not sure if that's like.you know [TS]

01:27:53   strictly like biologically anatomically [TS]

01:27:57   animali true and i had more honor i [TS]

01:28:00   think what tops can sense his flop sweat [TS]

01:28:02   and i think i think one reason dogs [TS]

01:28:04   react also they also can smell when a [TS]

01:28:08   woman is ovulating sure they caught the [TS]

01:28:10   menses yet the and so I think that kids [TS]

01:28:16   are extremely sensitive to what the [TS]

01:28:19   parents are freaked out about and and [TS]

01:28:21   and they're probably equally sensitive [TS]

01:28:24   to win they're trying to cover it up [TS]

01:28:27   well I i can appreciate why you would [TS]

01:28:29   want to move beyond anxiety but how do [TS]

01:28:33   you [TS]

01:28:33   well i mean i don't i don't have got [TS]

01:28:36   like a bullet list but all say is it's [TS]

01:28:38   an ongoing struggle and yeah and again [TS]

01:28:42   I'm not trying to say that I'm any good [TS]

01:28:44   at it and I feel like I'm I you know I'm [TS]

01:28:46   not a superstitious person but I feel [TS]

01:28:48   like I'm courting feet just by saying [TS]

01:28:49   this will probably be in the thing they [TS]

01:28:50   play on NPR from achievement up honey no [TS]

01:28:54   but not on the Supreme Court what am I [TS]

01:28:56   saying oh no you're trying to mean Hagen [TS]

01:28:59   well how do you think the class know me [TS]

01:29:01   or for Nina Blackwood I didn't get this [TS]

01:29:04   part out [TS]

01:29:05   I just like you know what I i'm not [TS]

01:29:06   saying i'm good at it i'm just saying [TS]

01:29:07   that like once you accept that there are [TS]

01:29:12   some drones in life that you don't have [TS]

01:29:14   that much control over its it doesn't [TS]

01:29:17   make you any happier or less anxious but [TS]

01:29:20   it does make you appreciate that like [TS]

01:29:22   you can keep your powder dry for the [TS]

01:29:24   times when there is something you can [TS]

01:29:26   prevent right so you know this is [TS]

01:29:29   actually a Productivity guru that I like [TS]

01:29:31   a lot of this guy David Allen says it [TS]

01:29:32   you know in your in your life and in [TS]

01:29:35   your productivity it's a lot like having [TS]

01:29:36   a kid have a few rules as possible but [TS]

01:29:39   be really dogged about enforcing what [TS]

01:29:41   those rules are and to me that [TS]

01:29:43   application becomes like okay here's [TS]

01:29:46   some patterns i don't want to I don't [TS]

01:29:47   you have to feel like you've got to read [TS]

01:29:48   a fucking PDF to decide how to cross the [TS]

01:29:50   street [TS]

01:29:51   I want you to get to where you can [TS]

01:29:53   develop some combination of confidence [TS]

01:29:56   that self-possession that I don't have [TS]

01:29:59   that I hope you will have that lets you [TS]

01:30:01   make the right decision at the right [TS]

01:30:02   time in the right context and you don't [TS]

01:30:04   get that by going here right right and [TS]

01:30:07   if I constantly go ye you know somebody [TS]

01:30:10   I and I i'm guessing you're better at [TS]

01:30:12   this than me sometimes she just gonna [TS]

01:30:14   fucking hit her head on the swing set [TS]

01:30:16   and that's gonna have to be okay [TS]

01:30:18   the the rules that I the only rules I [TS]

01:30:20   have for my daughter are no loud talking [TS]

01:30:23   tonight [TS]

01:30:26   don't touch daddy cigarettes there is no [TS]

01:30:30   no outside voice haha ok i'm slightly [TS]

01:30:33   quickly since it's the number one no no [TS]

01:30:35   loud talking ever [TS]

01:30:36   no loud talking naughty not just when [TS]

01:30:39   you're concentrating on your on your on [TS]

01:30:42   your ptown and research for just any [TS]

01:30:43   time [TS]

01:30:44   no love dog it's unnecessary don't touch [TS]

01:30:47   that e-cigarettes daddy doesn't smoke [TS]

01:30:50   but he keeps cigarettes around as a as a [TS]

01:30:54   like in the same way that he keeps [TS]

01:30:56   loaded guns around [TS]

01:30:58   oh don't touch that is loaded guns to a [TS]

01:31:00   headshot they're loaded [TS]

01:31:04   I thought everything you think about of [TS]

01:31:05   some any kind of a again you're supposed [TS]

01:31:07   to personally check to see if it's [TS]

01:31:09   loaded [TS]

01:31:09   yeah they're all different rules is that [TS]

01:31:11   could never never pointed anything you [TS]

01:31:13   don't want to kill well first of all [TS]

01:31:14   step 0 don't take it out is correct [TS]

01:31:17   this is the reference Creed there are [TS]

01:31:18   many like it but my you take if you're [TS]

01:31:20   going to take it out [TS]

01:31:21   yeah you got a plan to kill somebody [TS]

01:31:22   right oh you're saying if your carrier [TS]

01:31:24   gun and you're going to pull it and [TS]

01:31:25   pointed at somebody [TS]

01:31:26   I'm just saying if you talk wants to get [TS]

01:31:28   that cigarette she's gonna take out his [TS]

01:31:30   sidearm if you took out a gun and [TS]

01:31:32   pointed at somebody you had better be [TS]

01:31:33   prepared to shoot and kill them highly [TS]

01:31:35   highly work at it [TS]

01:31:36   yeah because then and what that ass in [TS]

01:31:38   assume every gun is loaded yes but that [TS]

01:31:40   is a what that means though is that [TS]

01:31:42   never pull your gun out and pointed at [TS]

01:31:44   somebody [TS]

01:31:44   I mean you never you never are going to [TS]

01:31:47   ninety-nine percent of the people pulled [TS]

01:31:48   a gun on a point somebody have no [TS]

01:31:50   intention of shooting and killing them [TS]

01:31:51   they just want to scare the other skiing [TS]

01:31:54   teenagers into swirling it around on [TS]

01:31:57   their finger right well but no 99 [TS]

01:31:59   percent of adults that pulled a gun out [TS]

01:32:01   they expect that the other person is [TS]

01:32:03   going to cower and what they're looking [TS]

01:32:06   for is is that what they're looking for [TS]

01:32:08   is that power [TS]

01:32:09   they want to make somebody cower I was [TS]

01:32:11   like that little man kind of thing [TS]

01:32:13   yeah yeah and so they pull their guns [TS]

01:32:15   out and they're like what did you say [TS]

01:32:16   they're like now how that now how you [TS]

01:32:19   feeling any hold it sideways like 17 and [TS]

01:32:22   a gangster videos i made for you or you [TS]

01:32:24   you know where you do some kind of [TS]

01:32:25   Bologna with parents on it's super [TS]

01:32:28   effective way to point a gun [TS]

01:32:29   don't you know that sideways yeah over [TS]

01:32:31   your head sideways boy has there by the [TS]

01:32:34   third shot you're gonna be in great [TS]

01:32:35   shape but and then and the reason people [TS]

01:32:37   get shot is that a lot of times they [TS]

01:32:39   they probably got out and they pointed [TS]

01:32:41   at somebody who is legitimately crazy or [TS]

01:32:44   doesn't give a fuck or also has a gun or [TS]

01:32:46   moves faster than them or whatever right [TS]

01:32:49   you know what I don't think I think I [TS]

01:32:50   mean most of the time if you and 10 if [TS]

01:32:52   you are prepared to shoot somebody you [TS]

01:32:54   pull it out and shoot them you do [TS]

01:32:56   there's no big speech that you have to [TS]

01:32:58   give so all those my gun comes out and [TS]

01:33:01   you're like giving a speech but i'm [TS]

01:33:04   guessing you don't worry about that you [TS]

01:33:06   wait till she's three or four to like [TS]

01:33:07   really express this perhaps some kind of [TS]

01:33:09   a PowerPoint but allowed talking [TS]

01:33:13   don't touch that his cigarettes don't [TS]

01:33:14   wish that his guns I think what'll [TS]

01:33:16   happen with her is that she see this in [TS]

01:33:18   action somebody pulled a gun out at me [TS]

01:33:20   and i will take it and i will i'll make [TS]

01:33:22   them eat it and then she'll be like oh I [TS]

01:33:25   get it [TS]

01:33:25   don't do that don't pull it out don't [TS]

01:33:27   pull a gun on daddy will be the first [TS]

01:33:29   thing [TS]

01:33:32   to learn from pistol-whipping [TS]