0:00:00hello a jack a line Maryland ask going
0:00:09pretty good how are you go but don't get
0:00:12that's good that's really early i just
0:00:19thought i'd say that so that we would
0:00:22feel some the soulja take us back to the
0:00:25old days the old days when it was early
0:00:28instead of like at night which is what
0:00:30we're doing now i think was adjusted
0:00:32well how do you feel it's different
0:00:36hmm well but you know we've not that it
0:00:40matters but we know we received some
0:00:41plot it's from people seem to enjoy the
0:00:45later recording time I think it's pretty
0:00:48good on our fans but we don't care about
0:00:50their praise that's the supertrain
0:00:52talking I care
0:00:56yeah I know you care for your gentle
0:00:59your soft I don't know about that yeah
0:01:02you're right
0:01:03yeah yeah yeah yeah I had kind of a
0:01:07heavy meal
0:01:08oh you did you know what I just did let
0:01:11go into the taco bus but it but I didn't
0:01:16have enough time to eat
0:01:17sounds dirty it is dirty or el taco bus
0:01:21as i call it because i'm sure a polyglot
0:01:24i am and i'm out sort of an
0:01:26internationalist low slow Stocco bus and
0:01:31i went there but I didn't have enough
0:01:32time beat so there's there's talk of us
0:01:34food downstairs and it's in it's a it's
0:01:38it's my prize it's my prize that's
0:01:40waiting for me
0:01:41what's terrible is still hot doesn't
0:01:43matter i'll come on
0:01:45no it doesn't matter because Merlin I
0:01:46like food that is room temperature
0:01:50huh is that like a Chinese energy thing
0:01:53I mean you know well a little
0:01:55well no do you mean like is Mike and
0:01:57drinks like you know I I you know
0:01:59working on but I think you're not
0:02:01supposed to drink at anything while
0:02:03you're eating but especially you can't
0:02:05drink cold stuff when you're pregnant
0:02:07because of functions way i see i gotta
0:02:10look that up that it just general
0:02:13cheese are aligned with your other
0:02:14cheese is some you know they don't have
0:02:17a lot of cheese in Chinese food
0:02:19uh oh god I hate myself up you know what
0:02:26that was pretty good i believe in and
0:02:28allow it sorry Billy Graham limp I'm
0:02:31limping now here's my question now
0:02:34so you like room temperature foods that
0:02:35go both ways do you like do you like you
0:02:37like yogurt to come to room temperature
0:02:39and you like your beef you know to get
0:02:41the you know get too comfortable 70
0:02:44degrees
0:02:45yeah kind of I mean of you I'll put it
0:02:48this way i do not object to to any food
0:02:52that is either cooled or warmed up from
0:02:56its from its initial serving temperature
0:02:58huh to closer than room temperature and
0:03:00some people find it repulsive that i
0:03:02will eat a lot of for instance open a
0:03:04can of food and just eat it out of the
0:03:06can
0:03:07I've been affronted by that yeah and a
0:03:09lot of people are there like that is
0:03:11that's disgusting them like what what do
0:03:13you think he is doing to it
0:03:16hey you guys okay it's always have you
0:03:19guys always have a reason I you know
0:03:21what is this guy who's this guy's i have
0:03:24had a couple i think i've had a couple
0:03:27being eaters like you that I that I have
0:03:31been acquainted one of my one of my very
0:03:35good friends in high school
0:03:36first of all would eat pretty much
0:03:37anything and you can eat it in almost
0:03:40any state
0:03:41yeah and I think I don't know that to me
0:03:43there's three parts to it there's the
0:03:45first part which is the eating it out of
0:03:48the original container what it really
0:03:50says bachelor for life anything up and
0:03:54then there is the get it matter i mean
0:03:56does that does that do if you get
0:03:58takeout you want you like to decamp it i
0:04:01am notorious in my household for liking
0:04:03piping hot food right now I'm not not
0:04:06not not i mean my mind my sister-in-law
0:04:09your head dunkin donuts coffee course
0:04:12it's pretty good coffee and they're kind
0:04:14of famous for how scalding-hot their
0:04:16coffee is and its really you know it's
0:04:19really i mean i'm not to say anything
0:04:20because you know my family or island
0:04:22well you know Papa stage if I say
0:04:24anything but it's good it's not like the
0:04:25best coffee I've ever had
0:04:26she has the microchip is it super hot
0:04:29though because you're supposed to you
0:04:31know you're going to be on like a
0:04:31four-hour stakeout
0:04:33oh yeah everybody doing was a cop but
0:04:36then she has the microwave it to make it
0:04:39hotter
0:04:40yes can you imagine microwaving dunkin
0:04:43donuts coffee will you
0:04:46you know you know the whole story about
0:04:48the exploding hot-water heaters
0:04:51I don't think I know that all started
0:04:53the old story see any hot water heaters
0:04:57don't explode anymore because they have
0:04:58like 17 layers of failsafe valves and
0:05:03vents and stuff to keep this from
0:05:04happening
0:05:05ok this is something i learned that they
0:05:06say it's like it's like a big slightly
0:05:09sophisticated teakettle historic city
0:05:11channel it's a sealed teakettle and if
0:05:13you're if you don't have if you don't
0:05:15have like shut off valves for the for
0:05:18the heating element and also steam vents
0:05:21for the steaming elements what happens
0:05:23in a hot water heater if especially one
0:05:25that's like two-thirds full the this the
0:05:28the water gets hotter and hotter and
0:05:29hotter but it can't boil because as it
0:05:31gets hotter and also the pressure
0:05:33increases and the pressure increases and
0:05:35pressure increases in the water gets
0:05:37hotter and hotter without boiling and
0:05:40then finally the pressure gets so great
0:05:41that the hot water heater explodes and
0:05:44the second that there's an opening all
0:05:47like 80 gallons of water turns to steam
0:05:51instantly and how water you can blow up
0:05:55your house how guys like flash flash
0:05:58explosion of like instant steam and all
0:06:02that pressure can like you can flatten
0:06:04your home now when today as an industry
0:06:07fix that they fixed it i think after the
0:06:10great water the great hot water heater
0:06:14explosion epidemic team of the nineteen
0:06:17thirties but we're all those people were
0:06:19killed at work because they were they
0:06:21were sealing the fire exits
0:06:23all right there the Triangle Shirtwaist
0:06:25water heater and thread the internship
0:06:29with water heater incidents voices easy
0:06:31the second part
0:06:33the second part is the room temperature
0:06:34part yeah i loved Gillard's playing on
0:06:37that guy's solid heat heat you don't
0:06:39know who they are
0:06:40never he never listened to them you
0:06:43never thought to an entire gotta be with
0:06:45someone in your life but I happen to be
0:06:46friends with the killers
0:06:47well I never signed you is wife on
0:06:50livejournal blender
0:06:53tell me more remember he chides journal
0:06:56i remember being very mad at livejournal
0:06:58because you were on livejournal with a
0:07:01bunch of like our love our seat mafia
0:07:03bunch of teenage girls who were talking
0:07:05about me I it and then i would say well
0:07:09what are they saying and nobody would
0:07:10tell me more they will say things old
0:07:12they would go with the secret code you
0:07:14could and if you weren't on there then
0:07:15you didn't get to know ya they're
0:07:17talking about me I should know nobody
0:07:20would say nobody would say was a series
0:07:21of private handjob booths you know and
0:07:24we know it's what happens in the booth
0:07:26hmm the second part is the room
0:07:28temperature so it's it's like here's the
0:07:32thing if you were a hobo with it's a
0:07:33little bit of fucking human dignity
0:07:34you'd stick and over fire like a
0:07:36gentleman
0:07:37we're dead and i'm gonna get a minute
0:07:39i'm gonna come to a very specific sense
0:07:41memory of this and and i think the third
0:07:43part is i think if you're the kind of
0:07:45person that eats out of a container and
0:07:46B has it at room temperature
0:07:48you're not here you're not above picking
0:07:52up something that might have been open
0:07:54and room temperature for a while
0:07:56yeah maybe even of an unknown amount of
0:07:58time and picking it up this could start
0:08:01something as simple as the guy who eats
0:08:03the maguro that's been on the table for
0:08:05an hour and it could go all the way up
0:08:07to my friend who would eat ravioli that
0:08:09was almost blew and I don't Miles Davis
0:08:12I definitely I definitely have like back
0:08:16in my college days would would wake up
0:08:18in the morning and it because of my
0:08:21because of the position that i was the
0:08:24night ended up sleeping in which was
0:08:25kinda half on the floor i would have you
0:08:28under my bed is your graffiti right
0:08:30there a 5-4 have on the floor and then
0:08:33I'd be like looking looking at my bed
0:08:35and I'd be like oh there's two slices of
0:08:38pizza in there and ideas yeah okay pizza
0:08:41is here pizza i hope i will give you a
0:08:44papal dispensation
0:08:46Pizza yeah the thing is a hobos when
0:08:49they were cooking those cans of food on
0:08:51the fire it was because those were cans
0:08:53of raw ground pork
0:08:55this was a very popular food during the
0:08:59Depression did that happen glenn hey
0:09:01glenn hey raw ground pork and you have
0:09:04to cook that stuff
0:09:05yeah butBut modern food is all cooked
0:09:07it's cooked in the it's cooked in the
0:09:09King gets its flash-fried or it's a
0:09:12that's right yeah it's steamed with
0:09:15steamed or boiled and so if i open a can
0:09:18of say chef boyardee ravioli oohs thats
0:09:21the sense memory at the equator a minute
0:09:24oh my god it was getting it was live up
0:09:27John if I told you the story it was
0:09:29literally chef by 40 or was ready yet
0:09:31revealed Julio's yeah that's exactly
0:09:33what he ate was almost blew heating them
0:09:36up just it just fills the house with the
0:09:38smell of a cat that died on top of a
0:09:40furnace and what you know it literally
0:09:42smells like barf
0:09:43it smells like like a dead cat or barf
0:09:46who are very similar in smell who he was
0:09:49eating real temperature the room
0:09:50temperature cat if you don't hit him up
0:09:53you don't have that that they don't
0:09:54smell like that they just smell like
0:09:56mother smell like like to that's a
0:09:58really good point did of Brussels
0:10:00sprouts if you'd like an apple you're
0:10:01good to go
0:10:02voilà voilà not i had i had at some
0:10:06point I don't remember that block this
0:10:08out but at some point I had made some
0:10:10canned probably store-brand ravioli in
0:10:14my in my in my doorman I don't know why
0:10:17would have left any as i remember it was
0:10:19a very very small bit that was left in
0:10:21there and with a completely straight
0:10:23non-ironic non jokey non frat boy non
0:10:26hey look at this expression my very good
0:10:29friend said are you know the classic I
0:10:32gotta get a name for what you guys are
0:10:34the classic room temperature just the
0:10:36temperature wrists are you gonna eat
0:10:40that
0:10:41uh-huh and I said no my dear friend i'm
0:10:44not going to because that's trash it's
0:10:46just that i am a freshman in college and
0:10:48I don't throw my trash out and he picked
0:10:51up the tensile which memory serves like
0:10:54a tablespoon next to it it's a nice to
0:10:57see to him that if he wanted to eat the
0:10:59he was free to do so listen all of us up
0:11:06for most likely to succeed in high
0:11:07school Jon it's garbage from the
0:11:09beginning if you if we can if we can
0:11:11rewind to the pump that's chilly this
0:11:13very subtle distinction and then imagine
0:11:16imagine that same pumped meet said that
0:11:22you had AG that does not even have the
0:11:25advantage of chili powder to to
0:11:27camouflage it's like essential nature
0:11:30and it is being pumped at chef boyardee
0:11:33headquarters a multitude because it's
0:11:36like it's like bob hoskins in Brazil
0:11:39except those tubes are full of of liquid
0:11:42meet and they're making little ravioli
0:11:44pods like more thing before between like
0:11:49why would you cook it again
0:11:51so this is really this is really all
0:11:53about me and and my ravioli hypocrisy
0:11:56so I'm fancy about whether or not you
0:11:59should eat it like a fucking bomb
0:12:01missing your sexy pants with his stove
0:12:03and his microwave just eat the things
0:12:06God intended
0:12:07you're gonna defecate why would you
0:12:09flush yeah and I and I i SAT there like
0:12:14slack-jawed as you do and and boy he
0:12:18could he could eat anything anytime
0:12:20yeah yeah what-what when I was not not
0:12:24in college but a little bit after
0:12:26college early twenties i had a static
0:12:28three of three bedroom apartment with a
0:12:30couple of guys and our kitchen had so
0:12:33many flies in it over but somehow had so
0:12:36many flies in it that no one ever went
0:12:38in there again has a certain point we
0:12:41have to get a student lounge like that
0:12:43it basically became a place of the TV
0:12:45that you run into four star trek and
0:12:47then dash back out but we would not even
0:12:49cross the threshold but somehow the
0:12:51Flies remained there was no door on the
0:12:54kitchen but they remained in that area
0:12:56because that is where that was that is
0:12:59where they were born that is where they
0:13:00fell in love that is where they they
0:13:02died their whole culture was there but
0:13:05they never came through the door into
0:13:06the rest of the house also because there
0:13:08was probably an impenetrable wall pot
0:13:11smoke
0:13:11and so we had we had kind of de tot we
0:13:15lived in this room and they lived in the
0:13:18kitchen and we never went in window I I
0:13:20never went in that kitchen again i lived
0:13:22in three years that was your Munich
0:13:23that's right is he said look we need we
0:13:27need to reach some kind of a you know
0:13:30and have a centerpiece
0:13:32yeah you can have the Sudetenland which
0:13:35is our kitchen we will have and you want
0:13:38to have time he walked out holding up a
0:13:40piece of paper saying peace in our time
0:13:42is dinner time and then you know the you
0:13:45did you read the umbrella story the
0:13:47other day I don't think that'll i know i
0:13:49don't think i saw that i read about two
0:13:50and curry but have only have read about
0:13:52the umbrella tell me the umbrella story
0:13:55so you know about the you know about the
0:13:57guy with the umbrella on the grassy
0:13:58knoll
0:13:59oh it this is the faint I know about the
0:14:03grassy no I don't think you know about
0:14:04the umbrella so right at the moment the
0:14:07kennedy was assassinated as he is
0:14:10driving past the grassy knoll in dallas
0:14:12visible on the Zapruder film and other
0:14:15love Zapruder film I could watch that
0:14:17all day
0:14:19there is a man standing right at the
0:14:21point of impact when the first bullet
0:14:24hits Kennedy standing with an open
0:14:26umbrella and it has law it has long been
0:14:31I mean it was one of the major sort of
0:14:35like what the fuck's it's a beautiful
0:14:39sunny November day sunny day and this
0:14:42guy's standing right at that exact spot
0:14:46with outstanding under an open umbrella
0:14:49parasol don't know the full full on
0:14:53black umbrella and so this was a this
0:14:56was a thing that kind of made the rounds
0:14:57last week the all the conspiracy
0:15:01theorist of course said this bizarreness
0:15:04not even conspiracy there's any normal
0:15:06thinking person would say this
0:15:09bizarreness must be connected the man
0:15:12with the umbrella has to somehow be
0:15:15significant in this in in this moment
0:15:19this like historical moment and the
0:15:23that and I am forgetting the names of
0:15:25both the the the man who investigated it
0:15:28and the man who made the documentary
0:15:30film about him
0:15:31so this is useless well I'm uh what is
0:15:36the Warren Commission no no this is this
0:15:38is a who is the guy that arrow Morris
0:15:40the field ok errol morris and who was
0:15:43that the guy that made the film about
0:15:44the the about the McNamara Earl Warren
0:15:48out no women McNamara is errol morris
0:15:50and that is the camera that talks to you
0:15:53right right so he is making a film about
0:15:56this guy
0:15:57Oh Errol Morris is a very interesting
0:15:59guy well anyway though no because he's
0:16:02very into this idea i'm sorry to
0:16:04interrupt you but he has a whole famous
0:16:06essay that we should come back to about
0:16:09one photograph of the that road with
0:16:11cannonball dents in it and the
0:16:13authenticity of it he's very I think
0:16:14he's a person is obviously he's a guy
0:16:16who's always searching for like the
0:16:17unexpected truth behind the unexpected
0:16:20truth so you're saying he's making a
0:16:21movie about the umbrella kyar about
0:16:23about the know so he's interviewing a
0:16:25guy who went to great lengths to find
0:16:26the umbrella God and the umbrella guy
0:16:30actually came forward and testified
0:16:32before congress at the end of the
0:16:33seventies and his story was PS i am the
0:16:37umbrella guy yes I stood there with my
0:16:39open umbrella and my open umbrella that
0:16:43day was a protest against not John F
0:16:49Kennedy but it was a reference to
0:16:52Chamberlain's umbrella and it was a
0:16:56protest against Kennedy's dad who was a
0:17:01Nazi sympathizer em or who this man you
0:17:05know was like John that is John that is
0:17:07extremely subtle it was very was
0:17:10extremely subtle and the point the point
0:17:11of this little this little the short
0:17:14film that I watched was that if you
0:17:16examine any historical moment in
0:17:19excruciating detail like you like you
0:17:22like we have done that moment in dallas
0:17:26that the number the number of things
0:17:28that are like too bizarre to describe
0:17:32that in any sort of historical like over
0:17:35examined historical moment I what would
0:17:39blow your mind
0:17:39like if you could be if you could if you
0:17:42could take apart a photograph of any
0:17:44like a any moment like that he would
0:17:49find so many unexplainable kind of jobs
0:17:53so it's not just related weirdness
0:17:55it's not just that this question marks
0:17:57on this particular day but that you know
0:17:59every single frame of anything that
0:18:01anybody shot that day every single
0:18:03person was interviewed the research
0:18:05ethics like a huge amount of detail and
0:18:07you get a Russian one thing where
0:18:08there's so many different versions plus
0:18:10the documentation anywhere you've got
0:18:12that you're going to get different
0:18:13things and it's going to sound ? just
0:18:17lots of question marks
0:18:18yeah you see it in this in the Boston
0:18:20Marathon I was gonna bring that up at
0:18:21that that's relevant
0:18:22yeah although all the redditors out
0:18:24there looking at all the photographs and
0:18:26they find 25 different guys with
0:18:28backpacks and yeah and you're like how
0:18:30many how many suspicious looking guys
0:18:32with backpacks are there at the finish
0:18:34line of the Boston Marathon turns out a
0:18:38lot
0:18:38yeah you know I for some reason and that
0:18:42their amorous thing i'll send you a link
0:18:44to the X it's really interesting but I
0:18:48don't you ever seen this but you know
0:18:50they'll be something you see something
0:18:51like a really iconic photograph
0:18:53I'm trying LOL the closet when a classic
0:18:55examples you know the very famous
0:18:56portrait of Winston Churchill you know
0:18:59looking taciturn and that famous in a
0:19:02photo on extending it that tommy gun
0:19:03that's my favorite picture of him he's
0:19:06he's a he's yeah he's a he's a good
0:19:09subject but you know if you received you
0:19:12know what the fuck photographer who's
0:19:13made an iconic image you'll notice that
0:19:15there's an iconic image usually in this
0:19:18Chet Baker you don't usually see it
0:19:20alongside the 17 rejects with you know
0:19:23why texas right sure the the the the the
0:19:28memory of the rejects you know the ones
0:19:30the ones that did not become iconic
0:19:32because that's not the one they picked
0:19:33and what always strikes me about that is
0:19:35you know when you see it becomes like
0:19:37the Mona Lisa
0:19:38so are you saying that so many times
0:19:40that you kind of go dead to the
0:19:42foreground to background that you know
0:19:44anyway it's always amazing me when you
0:19:46get to see a whole sequence of photos
0:19:47where that might be one of 17 photos
0:19:50that somebody shot really fast and it's
0:19:52amazing how completely different a scene
0:19:55looks in like a really literally a
0:19:58fraction of a second and it changes the
0:20:00entire story i mean if you saw like the
0:20:03nurse slapping the sailor in one of
0:20:06those you know I'm not one was a VJ day
0:20:08yeah TJ davis funny but but I don't even
0:20:13like if you see you know if anything was
0:20:15worth anything if anything were
0:20:16different in that one shot it kind of
0:20:19starts to tell a different story or like
0:20:21you know the the woman walking down the
0:20:23street with the guys the french guy that
0:20:25takes all the pictures or bozo nono
0:20:27that's what was and what so I think it's
0:20:30one so so so was Shawn and a thing is if
0:20:34he didn't capture that one moment where
0:20:36a bunch of time of the Italian woman
0:20:37where all the guys on vegetables are
0:20:39whistling at her I think that's the one
0:20:40yeah and if everybody if he had captured
0:20:42in that one moment it would have been a
0:20:44completely different photograph you know
0:20:46anyway I don't want to get into like you
0:20:48know
0:20:48no I was thinking about this George
0:20:50territory but that's kind of what we're
0:20:51talking about
0:20:52well I was this came up for me because
0:20:56because for for many years I would say
0:21:0125 years ever since i first saw that
0:21:05iconic picture of mountain girl sitting
0:21:09next to jerry garcia it right before
0:21:12Jerry grew a beard mountain girl cherry
0:21:16garcia ok mountain girl is a woman named
0:21:20Caroline Garcia who was one of the
0:21:22original Merry Pranksters she had a baby
0:21:25with Ken Kesey and then she hooked up
0:21:29with Jerry and had two babies with jerry
0:21:31garcia before they married sometime in
0:21:33the eighties order but there isn't this
0:21:35iconic photograph of a mountain girl and
0:21:39Jerry sitting next to one another and
0:21:41probably 67 and it's like the days he's
0:21:45got big muttonchops and they
0:21:47and he's got big big muttonchops and she
0:21:49is a she is a gallon her twenties and
0:21:53they're both kind of looking up
0:21:55she looks like she might be in later
0:21:56Kenny she looks like she might be in
0:21:58later okay guys that's what she said
0:22:00nice photo really nice sweater
0:22:01so the first time I saw this picture it
0:22:03was back in the eighties when if you
0:22:08recall seeing pictures of your favorite
0:22:10rock stars was not it was not just a
0:22:15simple matter right i mean you did not
0:22:17just go on the internet and Google
0:22:19mountain girl and get every picture of
0:22:21her ever taken you would cut them out of
0:22:23circus magazine you would cut them out
0:22:25of magazines right and and so you would
0:22:28buy up and down with the rolling stones
0:22:30and you would pour over those to pick
0:22:34the two pages of pictures in the middle
0:22:36of the book because those were the only
0:22:38candidate pictures of the rolling stones
0:22:40you had ever seen right and i saw this
0:22:43picture of mountain girl with jerry
0:22:44garcia and on the one hand it is a it's
0:22:49that it's a picture of Jerry before he
0:22:52had his beard so it is a it is a picture
0:22:54of utter carnage and horror because
0:22:58Jerry is a terrible-looking person and
0:23:00here and he has a very sort of a weak
0:23:04chin that his beard later concealed and
0:23:07he's got so he's got a real like effort
0:23:09for focusing on the scene it's got a
0:23:10real mid-seventies my dog speaks to me
0:23:14serial killer kind of vibe yeah that's
0:23:16it
0:23:17he's super uncool that his beard and
0:23:19it's crazy to think that he was the
0:23:21leader of this whole movement but then
0:23:24once he grows the beard then you're like
0:23:25it's jerry garcia it's like Santa Claus
0:23:28is amazing looking and he rightfully
0:23:30never shaped it again but mountain girl
0:23:32was tempted me at at 21 years old or
0:23:36whatever when I first saw this picture
0:23:38she was so beautiful she was like the
0:23:40girl in the over minor ski catalog and
0:23:43she actually looks a lot like the girl
0:23:45and the Obermeyer ski catalog 01 the
0:23:48puffy jacket the puffy jacket call the
0:23:50ski pants and this picture of mountain
0:23:53girl kind of looking up maybe slightly
0:23:57slightly squinting her eyes
0:23:59care so fresh and clean and it's so
0:24:04embodied the sixties to me from my
0:24:08perspective in the in the mid to late
0:24:10eighties when sixties worship was at its
0:24:13highest and i was at 18 and 19 years old
0:24:17consumed by this nostalgia for the
0:24:21sixties and this feeling of loss and
0:24:24regret that I hadn't lived through the
0:24:2760s that in fact the sixties were lost
0:24:30forever and we were stuck in these
0:24:32miserable eighties I wanted so much to
0:24:35be with mountain girl and this was not a
0:24:39this wasn't it didn't have anything to
0:24:41do with liking the grateful dead because
0:24:42I didn't particularly like the Grateful
0:24:43Dead this is 1 this is a right before
0:24:46you're grateful dead hang out period did
0:24:50anything you say you had a period we
0:24:51hung out with deadheads yeah I did but I
0:24:54mean you know i I've always had a period
0:24:56of time might I have multiple periods
0:24:59simultaneously so I was hanging with a
0:25:01look at memory but I wasn't a oh sorry
0:25:05where's my bell and here it is ready
0:25:09whoo up so you're talking about your
0:25:13menses yeah I you know I had had a lot
0:25:17of dead as i started three times now but
0:25:20it but what I know right but it wasn't
0:25:22about it wasn't about that it was about
0:25:24this idea i mean i don't know if you
0:25:26remember the movie 1969 starring a
0:25:29starring role
0:25:32what's his name the Iron Man oh wow nice
0:25:36pole of opportunity here Robert Downey
0:25:38jr. and Kiefer Sutherland and winona
0:25:40ryder in a movie called 1969 that came
0:25:44out in 1987 or 88 and it was this you
0:25:49know it was this super
0:25:52super stroke off kind of like the
0:25:55sixties man the sixties are gonna make
0:25:58didn't the nineties going to make the
0:26:00sixties look like the eighties matter
0:26:02whatever dennis hopper's famous quote
0:26:04but uh but anyway so I spent years
0:26:08thinking that mountain girl was you know
0:26:13like kind of this beautiful girl like my
0:26:16ideal hippie girl but I had only ever
0:26:20seen the one picture of her literally
0:26:23there were no other pictures of mountain
0:26:26girl and I thought I guess at a certain
0:26:28point many many years ago I just assumed
0:26:31that she had gone up into the mountains
0:26:34and never come down or that she had
0:26:37turned into an eagle or I don't know
0:26:41what happened i did i had no idea what
0:26:42having a mountain girl and what happened
0:26:44to mount girl was that she married jerry
0:26:47garcia had two kids and wrote a book
0:26:49about cooking with pot or something and
0:26:51she's still alive today and lives in
0:26:54santa rosa and I so the other day i was
0:26:58just i don't know why i was thinking
0:27:00about it but I googled her and they're
0:27:02all these pictures of mountain colonel
0:27:03and you look at it from a different
0:27:05angle and I mean she's cute
0:27:09you know but just like a an assistant
0:27:13manager at a health food store
0:27:14yeah she's not so cute that that she
0:27:17would burn herself into your into a
0:27:19person's mind for 425 years but here I
0:27:23am like the mountain girl and my
0:27:26imagination Trump's the real mountain
0:27:28girl and it's because I only ever saw
0:27:31this one great picture of her and they
0:27:33were probably 25 pictures on either side
0:27:35of it that no one's ever seen right so
0:27:39unfair considering how many terrible
0:27:40pictures of me are out there in Excel
0:27:45yeah I look you look really different
0:27:47from different angles
0:27:49I don't think I'm going to shave my
0:27:50beard again it's not because I have a
0:27:52weak chin it's because i have the chin
0:27:54of a thousand
0:27:56men having too much in your beard Shape
0:28:00face have too much I've too much face
0:28:03oh yeah you know what's interesting
0:28:05about you
0:28:06it's hard to explain but you have kind
0:28:09of big everything
0:28:10yeah it's weird like there's some people
0:28:12who seem pretty like kind of a
0:28:14proportionate but it seems like you know
0:28:16like that you can only really have one
0:28:18big thing I your potty training that you
0:28:20but one like you know it seems like you
0:28:22have a real big melon head that are like
0:28:24all cans or something those big wide
0:28:27shoulder read a lot of guys but he meets
0:28:29people sometimes especially Frenchman
0:28:30whoo-hoo-hoo-hoo like laundry the giant
0:28:33everything on him looks big
0:28:35yeah it's Gallic yeah they're not well I
0:28:39guess I i guess i'm not Gallic you're
0:28:42pretty sexy she in a lot of ways
0:28:44oh that's interesting you think i'm
0:28:46kinda French but I'm not gonna get
0:28:48involved in this again
0:28:49all right the guy who I just sent you a
0:28:51link to this the guy who took the same
0:28:53as photo telling her encourage you look
0:28:55at the link because of the other picture
0:28:57that came out of that session so it's a
0:28:58famous picture of Churchill with his
0:29:00head kind of slightly down beautiful
0:29:02photo he's got a cane
0:29:04he looks great and so cars the guy who
0:29:07shot this had asked Rachel to remove the
0:29:09scar in its mouth Churchill refuse
0:29:10Karsch walked up to Churchill supposedly
0:29:13to get a light level and casually pull
0:29:15the signatures of car from the lips of
0:29:17Churchill and walk back toward the
0:29:18camera as he walked he clicked his
0:29:20camera mode capturing the quote-unquote
0:29:22determined look he's looking now when
0:29:25you know that knows that the right is
0:29:27that true that link i essentially it
0:29:29mostly now he just looks like a fat man
0:29:31he's pouting
0:29:32mmm yeah but at the time he looked like
0:29:35the guy who was going to defeat Hitler
0:29:36with his scowl here's the thing to go to
0:29:38that page and scroll down you can see
0:29:39the one of him smiling broadly from the
0:29:41same yeah very different that's like
0:29:43oliver hardy right although still with
0:29:46the kind of like yeah like the left side
0:29:50of his face is fully four inches shorter
0:29:55than the right side of his face that
0:29:58yeah like he's one of those guys if you
0:30:00draw a line down the middle of that
0:30:01picture and you look at just put your
0:30:03hand over you look at the one-half yeah
0:30:05yeah it's two completely different men
0:30:08he looks like a courageous twice-baked
0:30:10potato
0:30:12um yeah yeah it's a funny thing else
0:30:16into that arrow Morris thing to exist
0:30:17it's a good read i don't know i like hot
0:30:21food I like medium warm coffee I don't
0:30:24get too hot my friends really look down
0:30:27on this but I I put a lot of like half
0:30:29and half in my coffee you do I think
0:30:32you're a half-and-half guy right
0:30:33I like half and half but you go through
0:30:35a gallon of half-and-half I don't do a
0:30:37lot of everything but yeah you're
0:30:38absolutely right i am what I'll do is
0:30:41I'll make real strong coffee i'm gonna
0:30:43hear my office in my dingus and then i
0:30:45will pour in a sec this is an admixture
0:30:48of hot water and a half and half until
0:30:52it's exactly the perfect temperature to
0:30:54drink immediately you know you know
0:30:56Merlin I will drink room temperature pop
0:30:58I've done that I've done that but you
0:31:05know what here's the thing I I don't
0:31:06want to get too much into your biography
0:31:08and comfortable talking about it but you
0:31:10know how do you think some of this
0:31:12let me ask you this have you always been
0:31:14this way or has had some of this come
0:31:17out of your like I i recently I you know
0:31:20I guess I read those the diaries were
0:31:24like he said it sent stuff from your
0:31:27walk back to that Professor and i guess
0:31:30and i read those pages a long time ago
0:31:31and had looked at him again till
0:31:32recently but they're fantastic but I'm
0:31:36write a book about that that's a while
0:31:38already talked about email if you write
0:31:39a book about your walk the okay high
0:31:41five fucking creeper 420 but i but I
0:31:46mean it sounds like your diet was uneven
0:31:49at best and then you had you had your
0:31:51surgery which is your feet were singing
0:31:53was that it or they're working bring
0:31:55your bring your fever ringing
0:31:57but I mean you know you must have you
0:31:58sound like you really did kind of eat
0:32:00roots and berries if you were lucky
0:32:01sometimes yeah
0:32:02did that make you less picky uh the the
0:32:07high became less picky um I didn't ever
0:32:13tell you the story about how I became
0:32:14less picky
0:32:15no John I would love to hear the story
0:32:20about how you became less picky
0:32:22are you sure in the Balkans no no it was
0:32:25a long time before i was i was extremely
0:32:28picky when I was a kid the pickiest of
0:32:30all the major i would only 84 menu items
0:32:33macaroni and cheese boiling bags
0:32:36Salisbury steaks stoffers staffers good
0:32:41boil-in-the-bag Salisbury steaks i would
0:32:43eat pizza and I would eat spaghetti if
0:32:45you put the spaghetti sauce in the
0:32:48blender and blended all visible lumps
0:32:52out of it
0:32:53how often would your mother capitulate
0:32:54to these requests well she the thing is
0:32:56she's busy she had a career she was busy
0:32:58and so what she what she ended up doing
0:33:00what she would make spaghetti sauce was
0:33:02just like like drizzle tomato sauce she
0:33:06wouldn't put anything in it
0:33:07okay um and and the problem was that i
0:33:10was i was a I was extremely I was
0:33:15extremely stubborn like it was no it
0:33:17wasn't a question of I would sit and did
0:33:20multiple times sit at a table in front
0:33:22of a of a cup of cold peas and sit there
0:33:26until it was time to go to bed and you
0:33:28know and they would sit me in front of a
0:33:30couple cold peas in it for breakfast and
0:33:32I wouldn't eat and they would sit me at
0:33:35the couple cold Pease at lunch and
0:33:36dinner and I just would need and it
0:33:39ended and I wouldn't eat until
0:33:41continuing to not feed me would
0:33:44constitute child abuse and they just and
0:33:48it wasn't that I would you know I wasn't
0:33:50crying I wasn't I was just sitting
0:33:53quietly staring over the top of the cup
0:33:57of cold peas
0:33:59on community like to fuck McCain of
0:34:01convenience vegetables until they just
0:34:05you know until everyone capitulated and
0:34:07i just ate the you know the five things
0:34:09that I would eat and when I was in high
0:34:12school and had a car at lunch time I
0:34:15would go to McDonald's because i was
0:34:16growing I was a big i was getting big
0:34:18now we go to McDonald's and i would get
0:34:21two cheeseburgers a 20 piece chicken
0:34:23mcnugget a strawberry shake a strawberry
0:34:29sundae an Apple turnover and one other
0:34:34thing i didn't need french fries insane
0:34:37i would get i would get this this meal
0:34:39that would feed like a soccer team but I
0:34:43wouldn't eat a green vegetable I
0:34:45wouldn't eat a and you know and I and I
0:34:47had a powerful gag reflex it's not just
0:34:49that I wouldn't eat it but the that I
0:34:51would sit and like look like I couldn't
0:34:54even if you if you if you put a piece of
0:34:56broccoli under my nose
0:34:58it would i would be retching like I was
0:35:00like I was in a outhouse you know and
0:35:06that persisted and na was a big reason
0:35:08that I didn't do foreign exchange when I
0:35:12was in high school it was suggested that
0:35:13maybe what I should do is go on a
0:35:15foreign exchange program and maybe that
0:35:17would straighten me out or maybe that
0:35:18which show me the show me something
0:35:21about the world that would that was
0:35:22going to change my my weird little
0:35:24provincial attitudes and I didn't want
0:35:29to go on foreign exchange because i was
0:35:30afraid that I was going to go somewhere
0:35:32I was afraid to even apply for fear that
0:35:34I would end up going someplace where
0:35:35they served me frogs legs and clams and
0:35:39made me eat lettuce and and so I was
0:35:44like no thanks
0:35:46you know like I i sheltered myself from
0:35:49experience all the way through high
0:35:51school largely based on like am I going
0:35:55to be able to get to mcdonalds or to
0:36:00taco bell and even at taco bell i would
0:36:04order tacos with no lettuce while they
0:36:07would especially make tacos for me with
0:36:09no lettuce
0:36:10and the cheeseburgers i got it at
0:36:12mcdonalds plain plain cheeseburgers no
0:36:15casualties you to grill order to a grill
0:36:17or move so so this this was true of me
0:36:22into college and unfortunately the food
0:36:29that you get in college is basically
0:36:31exactly that menu pizza and macaroni and
0:36:34cheese boil-in-the-bag Salisbury steaks
0:36:37so until i was i guess not know until I
0:36:43was 20 I had I had an incredibly small
0:36:47palette and and I lived in fear
0:36:52you know I lived in fear of the wider
0:36:53world strictly because if I ended up
0:36:58going home with somebody for dinner and
0:37:01their mom put a plate of food in front
0:37:03of me then what are they made lumpy like
0:37:05spaghetti sauce made lumpy spaghetti so
0:37:07let's be totally out it not only what
0:37:09you have to eat it but you would have to
0:37:10explain that you're picky
0:37:12yeah it would end it happened many many
0:37:14many times I'm over to somebody's house
0:37:16and their mom is like i made spaghetti
0:37:17and everybody's like yeah and I am dying
0:37:21inside you get panicky I did I was dying
0:37:24because I because I I didn't know am I
0:37:27going to sit down at the table and the
0:37:28spaghetti is going to come and it's and
0:37:30it's fine
0:37:31or is it gonna have big green peppers in
0:37:34it and onions and all these things that
0:37:36that I was just like oh no and believe
0:37:40me you cannot eat spaghetti at someone's
0:37:42house and pick out the green peppers and
0:37:44put them on the side here play that
0:37:45doesn't fly so all the way until I sell
0:37:49admire it was so I mean you know when I
0:37:51was I had I done it all and put to put
0:37:54the food in my pockets that wrapped in a
0:37:56napkin stole the napkin
0:37:59no it didn't we have six napkins I don't
0:38:01know I've got it tucked down the front
0:38:03of my pants but so anyway so I anna and
0:38:08i had been like this
0:38:09checking all across the states it's just
0:38:11like everybody has a hamburger
0:38:13you know what I mean in America so if
0:38:16you have any choice of food you're fine
0:38:18because you just choose a hamburger and
0:38:20it's fine
0:38:21but then i went to Europe for the first
0:38:25time and for most of the time I was just
0:38:30living on French bread and cheese and
0:38:33every once in a while I would I would
0:38:36get a plate or something and I'd you
0:38:39know kind of pick at it but but it i was
0:38:43pretty much covered like ham sandwich in
0:38:45Europe is the same as hamburger over
0:38:47here you can find a piece of French
0:38:50bread with us thin slice of ham and some
0:38:52and some cheese everywhere you go
0:38:55but one day i was on a train and it
0:39:01deposited me in innsbrook austria and it
0:39:04was at the end of the day and I got off
0:39:07the train and instead it instead of
0:39:09heading heading left i headed right and
0:39:11it's you know it's one of those things
0:39:13where if you're if you're not just this
0:39:15is the lady who made you food
0:39:17yeah I told you the story the lady who
0:39:19who made me the-the-the-the asparagus
0:39:22with the pollination she laid out an
0:39:25entire meal for you it was past closing
0:39:28time in chi and she spread out an entire
0:39:30banquet for you
0:39:31that's right that's right i have told
0:39:33you the story gets story i'm sorry it's
0:39:36ok I shouldn't have said anything i
0:39:37should i'm sorry i shouldn't say
0:39:39anything
0:39:39no that's but that's the story so you
0:39:42know my name but I never heard the part
0:39:43I never heard the part before that and I
0:39:46have to say it's very isn't it
0:39:48surprising to me that you are pure picky
0:39:50it's not surprising to me that you had
0:39:52showdowns with your mom because it seems
0:39:54like that would be a kind of inevitable
0:39:55battle of the wills that's the problem
0:39:57it didn't start with my mom my dad was
0:40:01weird about food and I don't know
0:40:04whether it was from his dad or whatever
0:40:05but but when I was a little kid after my
0:40:09folks got divorced my dad would come
0:40:12stay with us and one time and it's it's
0:40:16a it's a moment that that sticks in my
0:40:18head even though i had I I couldn't have
0:40:21been any older than about three and a
0:40:22half
0:40:23but my dad got up with me and my mom you
0:40:29know slept in and my dad made me eggs
0:40:31and my mom had always made my eggs
0:40:34sunny-side up and I would pop the yolks
0:40:38and I would eat the yolks with toast and
0:40:41my dad scramble the eggs or he may be
0:40:44eggs some way and I was a three-year-old
0:40:47up until that point
0:40:48three-and-a-half-year-old ID and
0:40:49everything it wasn't a problem but dad
0:40:51made the eggs wrong and I was a little
0:40:53kid and didn't and I was like no that's
0:40:56not how eggs are that's that when a kid
0:40:59is and my dad lost his mind and was
0:41:04screaming and you're going to eat those
0:41:06eggs and it was this traumatic
0:41:11experience where I was like I'm not
0:41:13gonna eat those eggs
0:41:14those are those I know what an egg looks
0:41:16like uh huh
0:41:17this is something he'll there's some
0:41:19garbage food and it
0:41:21my dad and I had a showdown and it was
0:41:23the first time and he and I were had
0:41:24been you know we're always very close
0:41:26the first time there been any conflict
0:41:28between us
0:41:29wow really yeah my mom came running into
0:41:32the kitchen
0:41:33leave him alone and my dad was like a is
0:41:37you're ruining him tied and it was this
0:41:40whole and I mean it sticks in my head
0:41:42not just because it has been talked
0:41:44about sense but I mean it was a it was
0:41:46it made a big the planning a big flag in
0:41:50the ground and from that point on food
0:41:54was the thing that food was the way that
0:41:56I could control my environment
0:41:59whoa really yeah and so I never from
0:42:02that point on I was just any cut time a
0:42:04plate landed in front of me if it was
0:42:06something I had never seen before I was
0:42:08like no way no way and so my palate
0:42:12basically stayed at the at the like
0:42:16chicken strips grilled cheese sandwich
0:42:21level of a three-and-a-half-year-old and
0:42:25it and with every passing year I just
0:42:27reinforced it reinforced it in my mind
0:42:29and in my and everything I did until you
0:42:33know you're 16 years old 17 years old
0:42:35you're just like
0:42:36see sandwich please or whatever you know
0:42:40never I grew up in Alaska I never ate
0:42:42fish of any kind wow people would pull
0:42:46king salmon is out of the kenai river
0:42:48and got him right there and throw him on
0:42:52the throne on an open fire and everybody
0:42:55else is like digging into this you know
0:42:57that the guy i have sense had its course
0:43:00but a king salmon straight out of the
0:43:03river there's no it's like ambrosia and
0:43:07I said get it i'm eating a hot dog and
0:43:10my teenage friends are like what is the
0:43:13matter with you man this is the world's
0:43:16greatest food and I'm just like gross
0:43:18but usually do it but I mean you were
0:43:20okay with saying like that's just not a
0:43:23thing I'm gonna do
0:43:24oh yeah okay I mean I was like you guys
0:43:27are eating a fish then just came out of
0:43:31a river like think about it they're like
0:43:35we are thinking about it as we eat this
0:43:37delicious fish that just came out of
0:43:39this river and I'm like no thanks I'm
0:43:41gonna stick with this hotdog this
0:43:44amazing fewer hot dog that wasn't just
0:43:49in a river
0:43:50I mean I was like I was it something you
0:43:53take a hot dog you know a lot of all of
0:43:56all the kinds of 50
0:43:58I mean you know just saying it wasn't
0:44:00like you're having inorganic parsnips
0:44:01your hand here our plans and butts
0:44:04basically far from it and and and and
0:44:06presently very familiar the the one
0:44:09thing that that that holds over is this
0:44:13is that I still eating Arby's
0:44:14periodically not very often me too but
0:44:17you know an RB sandwich is probably the
0:44:19worst thing that human beings have ever
0:44:24devised i see i see some signs for stuff
0:44:27at our taco bell that i I just I can't
0:44:30believe you know what goes into food
0:44:32photography
0:44:33I'm just my I'm i just sent my daughter
0:44:36didn't think that that doesn't like barf
0:44:38she's yeah i mean it really it looks
0:44:40like art looks like barf I mean all
0:44:42those companies you know how the food
0:44:45gets there it gets there in tanker
0:44:47trucks don't like
0:44:50everything at a Taco Bell arrives in a
0:44:52tanker and they just plug a huge fire
0:44:55hose into a slot in the wall and they
0:44:58just pump it in and that's true of our
0:45:00efforts to of arbys to but I just it's
0:45:02the one holdover from those years so
0:45:04anyway after that experience in
0:45:05innsbrook then it was like going from
0:45:09black and white to color it like it is
0:45:11almost get broke a fever or something
0:45:13exciting that's exactly right
0:45:15it's something popped and I because and
0:45:17I think it's because asparagus was at
0:45:21the very top of my list of things I
0:45:24would never ever eat like it looked so
0:45:26wrong it's smelled something terrible
0:45:28and and the idea that an asparagus and
0:45:33and I say this with the full knowledge
0:45:35that Europeans have no idea how to cook
0:45:37asparagus like like Europeans eat white
0:45:41Candace paragas limp grows soggy
0:45:44asparagus like not nothing compared to
0:45:47to the amazing olive oil drenched
0:45:50broiled asparagus
0:45:52that's ok but even then even this soggy
0:45:56Austrian asparagus was so delicious and
0:45:59so astonishing that it that could have
0:46:02been there in the world the whole time
0:46:04that I was sitting sitting on my cold
0:46:08log eating a hotdog average salmon i go
0:46:11through this with my daughter who is you
0:46:14know she is really she's a five-year-old
0:46:16a lot of ways so you know she she
0:46:18doesn't want to schedule a lot of ways
0:46:20including actual chronological age I am
0:46:23yes I guess that I guess that does
0:46:24factor into it yes she's not where we'd
0:46:27like her to be but she's being five on a
0:46:3012th grade level
0:46:31yeah but I but you know I have to say to
0:46:34her sometimes she's like you know will
0:46:36be like just gonna try a little this
0:46:37food you know I'm gonna get weird
0:46:39because I think and I don't want to get
0:46:41into eating disorders is the new Hitler
0:46:43but but you know I've had more than one
0:46:46woman tell me that their relationship
0:46:47with food like yours became really
0:46:50fucked up in a divorced family where
0:46:53food became a way to control something
0:46:55in an environment that they didn't have
0:46:57controlling seriously I've had a handful
0:46:58of women tell me that that's how they
0:47:00got a weird relationship with food so
0:47:01I'm
0:47:02not really surprised you know what
0:47:04you're saying that in some ways but but
0:47:05like with my kid you know
0:47:07yeah where were the typical I mean kind
0:47:10of like we consider ourselves good about
0:47:13this family which is let's just try it
0:47:15and just try and and that's really all
0:47:17you have to do just try a bite
0:47:18that's all we're asking me to do you
0:47:20know there's nothing you're gonna like
0:47:21we're not going to make you go on a
0:47:22roller coaster even though we don't like
0:47:24it like we're not gonna make you eat
0:47:26shrimp with lobster sauce because I'm
0:47:29you live from the house who likes it
0:47:30anyway you know what I mean like just
0:47:32just give it a spin that's really all
0:47:33that were asking
0:47:34yeah and the thing I end up saying to
0:47:36her that is um you know I try to be
0:47:39careful because I just in life i try to
0:47:43be careful not to tell somebody who I
0:47:46think they are but rather what I think
0:47:48they're doing right I'm not great at it
0:47:50but in this case I don't want to hear
0:47:51your picky eater or something right
0:47:52right right now but what I will say is
0:47:54pretty much every food we have put in
0:47:57front of you you didn't want to try and
0:47:59that includes chocolate and I can pretty
0:48:01much guarantee that there was at least
0:48:03one Saturday morning years ago where you
0:48:05didn't want to watch toy story like you
0:48:07have a habit of not liking stuff until
0:48:11you try it because that's how it works
0:48:13right and you know I I think that's
0:48:16actually weirdly appropriate you know to
0:48:18a lot of things in life you know where
0:48:20you know you get this really strong idea
0:48:22but uh I've i swear i've met a lot of
0:48:26people with kind of sometimes like
0:48:29famous but often like shameful things
0:48:31like that it's kind of like being an
0:48:32adult dead wetter in some ways I'm
0:48:34afraid you wouldn't want anything should
0:48:36only way a lot huh
0:48:38I was a bed-wetter until I was
0:48:39embarrassingly hold its at right yeah
0:48:43you know my well at least until i was
0:48:45introduced until I was in fourth grade
0:48:48no kidding that's Sox it did you know
0:48:51the the the the thing about my parents
0:48:54divorce was that I gave no outward sign
0:48:58of being affected God and so all of
0:49:02these things all these little little
0:49:04broken of like gauges
0:49:10it just all came out in these in these
0:49:12other ways and they hated everything to
0:49:17try and get me to stop bedwetting and in
0:49:19the mid-seventies there was the purpose
0:49:21that was an appliance and oft there
0:49:24wasn't applying now really as it was it
0:49:27took the form of a complete sheet of
0:49:33like stainless steel thin very thin air
0:49:37show no no no under my sheet that was
0:49:43looking to make flooding and that was
0:49:45connected with to you know electrode
0:49:48clamps to a buzzer to a loud alarm and
0:49:55if I wet the bed in the middle of the
0:49:59night get the water the the liquid would
0:50:02hit this this metal sheet and this bad
0:50:06rap why that should make a shame problem
0:50:09worse and it was it was put the way it
0:50:12was sold to us was it was supposed to
0:50:15wake the child up and that way they
0:50:18would learn to equate their full bladder
0:50:21or their recently recently empty bring
0:50:24her recently evacuated a lot of causing
0:50:27the editor
0:50:28yeah with the dude with the need to get
0:50:29up in the night and go to the go to the
0:50:31bathroom and so uh you know this thing
0:50:34went off a couple of times and I was no
0:50:37dummy i pulled the sheet back and
0:50:41figured out how it work and took the
0:50:43took the electrode off the metal sheet
0:50:46just you know just one not both care
0:50:48lifehacker is I know how electricity
0:50:50works and then and then I would wet the
0:50:53bed and then when I would wake up in the
0:50:55morning I would go oh fuck
0:50:58and I would lean over and plug it back
0:51:00in like clip the clip back to the middle
0:51:04and it would immediately start why lab
0:51:06and my mom would come running in and she
0:51:08would say you just want the bed now you
0:51:12just it's time to wake up you just you
0:51:15made it all the way through the night
0:51:16and just wet the bed now i don't
0:51:19understand i was like boom
0:51:22oops and for the for a long time I you
0:51:26know I pulled this scam where I was
0:51:29convincing my mom that I don't sleep all
0:51:32the way through the night and then just
0:51:33pee like two minutes before she was
0:51:37that's super interesting and that seemed
0:51:39better in your mind because it actually
0:51:43kind of seems worse better than being
0:51:46woken up in the middle of the night I'll
0:51:48alarm and gotten out of bed and you know
0:51:53put in the shower and close i mean i
0:51:56would much rather sleep through the
0:51:58night not now of course now I would i do
0:52:00not want to sleep through the night in
0:52:02wet pajamas but i have much preferred to
0:52:06do it when I was you know 67 years old
0:52:09right then than the alternative but also
0:52:13you know like waking up the entire house
0:52:17at one o'clock in the morning
0:52:18not a great feeling yeah I know I would
0:52:23never say anything against your family
0:52:25combo but but but that seems together i
0:52:29mean that's like masturbation minutes or
0:52:31something like yeah I was the seventies
0:52:32I mean you know there were people
0:52:33sitting there kids down and put you know
0:52:36giving them like quarter doses of LSD
0:52:37and flashing lights at them to see what
0:52:40they did they could add your are a
0:52:41cleanse they could have you know but but
0:52:43that was another thing the bedwetting
0:52:45was a thing that kept me from going to
0:52:47slumber parties and kept me from going
0:52:48over to other kids houses so i think
0:52:52that i think that the person that I am
0:52:54today is absolutely a product of of the
0:52:58person i was at ten or twelve which was
0:53:02a kid with a you know I had I had this
0:53:05sense of adventure that I have but it
0:53:09was in the shell of timidity that was a
0:53:14you know that was timidity brought on by
0:53:17fear of being exposed as a picky eating
0:53:21bedwetting
0:53:23[Music]
0:53:24thumb sucking kid that played with GI
0:53:27Joes until he was 17 know like right I
0:53:31was a late bloomer Late Late Late this
0:53:36is this is one of those things that it's
0:53:37just it seems so obvious which is why it
0:53:40must be said which is that I think for
0:53:42most of us there are very few people
0:53:44that are always looking forward I mean
0:53:46if you think about anything that you did
0:53:47we do in a given day or a week it is for
0:53:52most of us in some way a conscious or
0:53:56more often maybe unconscious reaction to
0:53:58something that just happened and I mean
0:54:00in extreme cases you can think of lots
0:54:02of you know examples of that but pretty
0:54:04much everything that we're doing you
0:54:06know even if it's going out to get half
0:54:08and half because we forgot to get half a
0:54:09nap
0:54:10we're constantly reacting something that
0:54:11just happened to Scientology but but I
0:54:14mean the thing is that didn't just
0:54:15happen this week that's happened every
0:54:17week your fucking life
0:54:18you're always direct reacting to
0:54:20something that just happened before and
0:54:21if all of that is happening and that
0:54:23goes back 45 years it's still the same
0:54:25thing and I mean if you had if one had
0:54:29these these things that really helped
0:54:32form your personality into a certain way
0:54:35you know I it sounds like I don't know
0:54:37if the sounds frightening or something
0:54:38but I'm not surprised at all to know
0:54:40that I mean to know that that that has
0:54:42such a long live effect on one who you
0:54:45think you are
0:54:47and then what you should be doing to
0:54:48react to what just happened
0:54:50well and and I i think because i felt a
0:54:54prisoner of shame like kids shame right
0:55:01and not really shame for anything I had
0:55:03done but just kids shame of a you know
0:55:08of of somebody and I wasn't even afraid
0:55:11of kids pointing at me and saying that
0:55:13being a bed-wetter I was afraid of
0:55:14adults doing it because of course in the
0:55:18seventies it is not it is not so far
0:55:21outside of the realm of possibility that
0:55:23some coach or teacher or friends parent
0:55:27would go wow what a little baby so
0:55:32living you know living can find
0:55:36bye-bye kids shame i was a big part of
0:55:42me that what at some point deciding that
0:55:46I would that I would have no shit no
0:55:48shame or is it would be rather it would
0:55:50be impossible to shame me you know what
0:55:53I mean that was the that was the key
0:55:55that was the that was the moment the
0:55:58moment when I realized that the only
0:55:59reason you couldn't be gay in the CIA
0:56:01was because that though that would give
0:56:04the Russians power over you right you're
0:56:07already kind of compromise your
0:56:08vulnerable you're vulnerable because you
0:56:10can be exposed and the idea that that
0:56:14and then and I saw that radiating out
0:56:18through the world that people were so
0:56:19afraid of being exposed that they were
0:56:22enslaved not not you know it was not
0:56:26hard to enslave another person you just
0:56:28find out what they're scared of other
0:56:30people knowing and then you hold it over
0:56:31there and right i mean structure that a
0:56:34person nothing nothing difficult for
0:56:36someone to enslave themselves right and
0:56:39that's that's this little suddenly it's
0:56:41Oprah but I mean you know that that's
0:56:43where you end up having this prison of
0:56:45your own design your own personal you
0:56:48know Penn opticon of shame which you
0:56:50dwell and I i think that that I mean I
0:56:53think that has ramifications that are
0:56:55they go much further than most of us
0:56:57like to think I mean you know i mean
0:56:59again it sounds like a cliche but you
0:57:01know you want to say to kids like what
0:57:04you know that guy who's just you know an
0:57:08unrepentant bully like we know in
0:57:11retrospect now like that poor that mean
0:57:13poor kid like probably was getting his
0:57:15if he's lucky just getting his ass
0:57:17kicked
0:57:18yeah it might have been a lot more like
0:57:20the fact he's hitting he's not hitting
0:57:22you like he's hit knuckle Joe right you
0:57:25know i mean or he's hitting his his big
0:57:27brother who's getting hit by uncle gel
0:57:29I've told you the story of Julius McRae
0:57:31I don't know that
0:57:33yeah sure shot down and give me a shout
0:57:35out to get an A
0:57:36I don't understand what makes you want
0:57:38to be a gym coach doesn't seem like that
0:57:42seems like maybe a third level
0:57:45fall back mm you know they're all those
0:57:47dads this is the thing that Merlin we
0:57:49were not jock so we don't understand the
0:57:51power of jock dumb
0:57:53yes the people who are engineers you
0:57:55know where people you know its people
0:57:58who are engineers have troubled thinking
0:57:59understanding how people who are not
0:58:02engineers think because they understand
0:58:04the mechanics of how the universe
0:58:06operates at a physics level and so they
0:58:11don't understand why people would not
0:58:12think the same way that they do right
0:58:15they don't understand why nobody can
0:58:16read the instruction manual that they
0:58:18wrote because strangle the road is
0:58:21totally obvious to an engineer dr.
0:58:23Strangelove is in there you just haven't
0:58:25searched enough services yet and this is
0:58:27the thing about jocks and and I'm
0:58:28convinced of this jocks are jocks live
0:58:31fairly happy lives i think much happier
0:58:34than mine because because the they're
0:58:38just a the life of a jock is just
0:58:41uncomplicated by all this yyyy wandering
0:58:46wandering spreading fretting fretting
0:58:49about stuff that can't be fixed and you
0:58:52know chalk throws the ball catches a
0:58:54ball
0:58:54there's a feeling of accomplishment
0:58:55there it may be is just as real as the
0:58:58accomplishment of writing a novel maybe
0:59:01just as real as the accomplishment of
0:59:02writing a great novel if you catch a
0:59:04great touchdown pass and it saves the
0:59:06day for the team and the town like what
0:59:10could be better than that and a lot of
0:59:12these guys who didn't have the didn't
0:59:16have the glory for themselves or their
0:59:19you know their glory days are behind
0:59:20them and they get to work with kids and
0:59:23and bask in the reflected glory of young
0:59:26people having those experiences i mean
0:59:28at that whole world where where there is
0:59:32somebody out there right now who has
0:59:34reached his career pinnacle and it is it
0:59:38is being like secondary teams coach for
0:59:45small Midwestern college and you know
0:59:52and he's out there it for 50 years on
0:59:57the sidelines season after season
0:59:57the sidelines season after season
1:00:00I mean those seem like a valid and
1:00:02poetic beautiful lives i guess and it's
1:00:05never a thing i can i can relate to it
1:00:09all out all I can picture myself it if
1:00:12if if if it was freaky friday and he and
1:00:15I switch positions and I'm standing
1:00:16there in those polyester pants with the
1:00:19wind blowing over my windbreaker
1:00:21watching these kids not even the a-team
1:00:24but like the you know the secondary
1:00:27defense squad and they're running drills
1:00:29and ice
1:00:32you know I just see myself standing
1:00:34there and watching them for like a
1:00:35minute and a half and then looking
1:00:36around wondering where the bus station
1:00:38is and it but people devote their whole
1:00:42lives to it and I might you know my dad
1:00:45I think would have been happier guy if
1:00:48he had just followed sports if he had
1:00:52just followed the sports thread of his
1:00:55young life and it found a way to stay in
1:00:58sports
1:01:00um without all the pressure of trying to
1:01:03make a difference and trying to settle
1:01:06the disputes with labor unions if he had
1:01:09just so you know been in that clear-cut
1:01:11world of like the dispute is that your
1:01:15team is against our team and the
1:01:17disputes is benefiting in law and
1:01:19politics which is never resolved right
1:01:22and you like you have a victory on that
1:01:24Tuesday night and then the real work
1:01:26begins and you start over or in-law
1:01:29I mean it's just all shades and subtlety
1:01:31yeah I couldn't do that but you know
1:01:33here's one thing you think about think
1:01:35about like without my chocks and I mean
1:01:37I think we think this from at least in
1:01:39my mind like the the jock thing goes way
1:01:41beyond who's on the field playing sports
1:01:43because you know football teams are big
1:01:45if you you know it's yours whatever 11
1:01:47people on each side of the field at a
1:01:49time
1:01:49it's one of you there that and it's i'm
1:01:52speaking phonetically but but you know
1:01:54what is it 11 people i think so yeah it
1:01:57doesn't look at 11 offensive and
1:01:58defensive name faces that right 11 a
1:02:02little weird number why 1100 all sports
1:02:05are done in in Muslim prime numbers
1:02:07interesting something that you love
1:02:10basketball team
1:02:11on a team or on the court at a time
1:02:14there are there are there are five
1:02:16people from the basketball team on the
1:02:19court at a time but you can have as many
1:02:21people on the team as you want
1:02:23I think so you can have what they call a
1:02:25deep bench how many people are on a
1:02:26soccer team other on the columns is it
1:02:30is it as a prime number
1:02:32you know I'm not gonna look but i'm
1:02:36going to say what you get you forward to
1:02:38get your Center you get your bags 567
1:02:43anything is even if you don't let's take
1:02:45it as read there's 40 to 60 people on
1:02:48the football team in high school which i
1:02:50think is probably still a little high
1:02:51there's a ton more people than that that
1:02:54see themselves as jocks and act like
1:02:55jocks and you could be i'm just going to
1:02:57stay with all due respect to lard asses
1:03:00there are so many lard-ass men in this
1:03:02area walking around in era like official
1:03:06Giants or you know or worthless say this
1:03:09for steam 49ers jerseys are walking
1:03:12around and the RNA that delivers their
1:03:14fat like fuck in a giant official jersey
1:03:17and then they are there they know
1:03:19everybody in a first-name basis they
1:03:20talk about all of them so I mean the
1:03:22apartment not to eat Hodgins played here
1:03:24but i think this jock thing goes way
1:03:26beyond victory on the field and I wonder
1:03:28if a lot of those people who want you to
1:03:29shower down to get an A
1:03:31we're not like the quarterback I feel
1:03:33like you're I feel like you're feeling
1:03:35that job shouldn't be fat is the same as
1:03:37my feeling that Christians should smoke
1:03:39pot oh let me think about that there are
1:03:45a lot of fat jocks yeah yeah but i'm not
1:03:49talking about i'm not like i'm talking
1:03:50about coming by it honestly but I'm
1:03:52talking about like the Association you
1:03:55know it's kind of like kind of like
1:03:56girls who like when a dress up like
1:03:57people they've seen us magazine and then
1:04:00talk like people on TV you know that
1:04:02have been like like inherently wrong
1:04:04with that i guess but it's it's no
1:04:06different really than like the
1:04:07management the bad management of a
1:04:09company hiring more people who are like
1:04:11them like it's this self-replicating
1:04:13pattern of willful dumb fuckery that
1:04:17makes me lose my mind anyway I
1:04:19understand coaches and the shorts
1:04:22they had always had to find jobs that
1:04:24are high school I think we might have
1:04:25mentioned this once but I had my high
1:04:27school we talked by talking about this
1:04:29on the mr. Finelli episode but remember
1:04:31my high school they had to come up with
1:04:33some heat with phony baloney jobs for
1:04:35all the coaches i'm sure they're all
1:04:37history teachers are social studies
1:04:38teachers well I mean in some cases yes
1:04:41the drivers at teacher was no one here
1:04:44is the text history as a as a pursuit
1:04:47and give them a coach because the coach
1:04:49is always the history teacher and he's
1:04:51always like that uh through French
1:04:53Revolution when the soccer coach taught
1:04:55taught in school suspension sounds like
1:04:59about those a class you guys okay this
1:05:01is officially a faculty member because
1:05:03he sat in a silent room for six hours
1:05:06today watching people who got in a fight
1:05:07is it called it you must have been a
1:05:11real you must well he was a soccer coach
1:05:13was gonna say what a what a Buddhist but
1:05:16you don't look like somebody who looks a
1:05:18lot like somebody who would like listen
1:05:22to Peter Frampton and follow lady to her
1:05:24car not getting a good way to get a
1:05:28little close to home there buddy
1:05:29which pocket can i get your big Frampton
1:05:33fan i'm not i know i know i know you
1:05:37know the first time I ever heard
1:05:38Frampton turns uh comes alive
1:05:41that's what started the trick returns
1:05:44alive was also the first time i ever saw
1:05:47somebody like a fart it's true i was
1:05:57over at this kids house and he had big
1:05:58brothers and they were playing comes
1:06:01alive and they're like want to see
1:06:02something cool
1:06:03ok hopefully a little okay don't get
1:06:05down like i do one of these of the goal
1:06:07and let his part
1:06:10mm that's living that's right learn the
1:06:13a major seventh chord i'm not sure i
1:06:17still know it
1:06:18oh it's like it's like an able to drop
1:06:20the middle one
1:06:21oh right oh yeah great for it's a great
1:06:24core it's the official court of the
1:06:26nineteen seventies and even you if you
1:06:29play pretty much anything as a as a
1:06:32major 7th you I it invokes the seventies
1:06:35right all right
1:06:36well i'm going to give that a try since
1:06:38we're soon as I i lose you today
1:06:41yeah I like it was just out of reach
1:06:43lucky you
1:06:44so we got to see them that should be the
1:06:47name of my autobiography my guitars just
1:06:49out of reach the buyer for the last
1:06:52seven years finished up it's on my good
1:06:57friend will Johnson of the band centrum
1:06:59attic last night and he has i have no
1:07:02doubt has put out 12 albums since the
1:07:04last long winters record i can be so
1:07:06fucking annoying and then you have to
1:07:07talk to him when you know he's your
1:07:10friend and you like him but is there
1:07:12some part of you that wants to be
1:07:13wetting the bed while the the problem is
1:07:15that he and Davis on my wrist and around
1:07:17in a circle and Davis on you know place
1:07:19200 road shows a year and will probably
1:07:24you know does close to that or or a
1:07:27wilson 10 bands and puts out for records
1:07:29a year and we're all talking shop but
1:07:33there was a time 10 years ago when we
1:07:37would be standing around talking shop
1:07:38and we all had it we all had very
1:07:42duplicatable experiences you know we
1:07:45were doing the same thing and now we're
1:07:47stand around and they're like yeah so
1:07:49anyway you know that you know you know
1:07:51Jimmy's Chicken Shack down in Las
1:07:54Colello Florida oh yeah I hit that place
1:07:57or whatever and I'm standing there like
1:07:59hey I've given some keynote speeches
1:08:03about for you guys
1:08:07ah well what about those keynotes right
1:08:10am i right
1:08:11hey got a new keyboard hurt yeah and
1:08:13they're like huh anyway
1:08:15no just your you're just preceding that
1:08:19I know you're doing it for comedic
1:08:20effect here I'm sure but you're just
1:08:22preceding that I I even if you are being
1:08:25honest i think you you're kidding right
1:08:27well a little bit i mean but but there
1:08:30is that thing of like why don't you know
1:08:31we look at each other it's like oh man
1:08:33we used to play so many shows together
1:08:35we played any shows lately and then
1:08:39there's there's silence you have a chem
1:08:41trails and then it's like all right it's
1:08:44me i'm the reason we haven't played any
1:08:46shows chair of the consummate god dammit
1:08:49John fucking Roderick you've evolved
1:08:51yeah you're sitting around like why am i
1:08:53not throw my monkey bone in the air and
1:08:54having it turn into a spaceship and I'm
1:08:56telling you you are the spaceship you
1:08:59come you're how i gave my first
1:09:01powerpoint presentation yesterday
1:09:03oh shit really yeah I didn't do it be
1:09:06pitching vc's know i was at EMP the
1:09:09experience music project is definitely
1:09:13have a deck on my honey's van it was it
1:09:16was called it was that's the pop
1:09:18conference where intellectuals and uh
1:09:20and journalists journalists get together
1:09:23to talk about pop music as though it is
1:09:26a serious academic discipline chair
1:09:28which kind of you neither
1:09:30ok but i was there to talk about
1:09:32weathering the storm the fallout of my
1:09:36punk rock article so they wanted me they
1:09:40wanted me to have a PowerPoint
1:09:41presentation to go along with my speed
1:09:44shit and I was like I don't know
1:09:46anything about that and they were like
1:09:48how it's easy and they sent me a bunch
1:09:49of templates in emails that i didn't
1:09:51open it send the judge the day before
1:09:55the day before I was giving the talk was
1:09:58like oh right
1:09:59powerpoint thing so I there's a gal that
1:10:03works over at the grammy Oh awards where
1:10:08i'm also on the board and so I sent an
1:10:11email and I was like will you
1:10:12you know about powerpoints and she was
1:10:14like and I said we make me a powerpoint
1:10:16and she said for what I said I'm giving
1:10:19this speech she said I know but I mean
1:10:21what do you want me to like we should
1:10:23get together and talk about this
1:10:24PowerPoint thing and i said no i don't
1:10:26need to see it just the best i'll be
1:10:28like being called thinking can make me a
1:10:30song
1:10:31yeah basically that I'm and I was like
1:10:33just make me a powerpoint demonstration
1:10:35that's X number of minutes long that has
1:10:37pictures of punk rockers and punk rock
1:10:40and she was like well yeah I mean I
1:10:43didn't really like your article very
1:10:44much and I was like perfect
1:10:47so I got up and I gave this speech with
1:10:49a powerpoint demonstration going behind
1:10:50me where the slides were programmed to
1:10:53change every 15 seconds and i had never
1:10:56seen it before and I still haven't seen
1:10:57that you're kidding
1:10:59because i wasn't looking at what that's
1:11:00my bed waiting right there that is that
1:11:02is a terrifying idea enemy and the only
1:11:05the only advice I gave her was at the
1:11:07but i would like the last slide the one
1:11:09that's that hangs up there because of
1:11:11that inevitably i will go over my lot of
1:11:13time so the last light is just going to
1:11:15sit there all afternoon while I keep
1:11:18talking i wanted to say fuck you that
1:11:24she did it but she will she took time
1:11:28out of her day to do that for you
1:11:30yeah so i gave this PowerPoint
1:11:32demonstration we're all these pictures
1:11:33of sitting Nancy or whatever we're
1:11:35flashing behind the screen tells got a
1:11:37horrible powerpoint it was terrible and
1:11:40then at the end I mean it was great
1:11:42because it was terrible because i was i
1:11:44was talking about depends i wasn't
1:11:47defending I didn't defend my mom can you
1:11:50just have somebody with sink stoppers in
1:11:52their areas like slowly flip through an
1:11:55enemy or like a maximum R&R while you're
1:11:57up and basically what it was that's
1:11:59basically it's like just get a barista
1:12:00and overhead protect ya that's
1:12:03essentially what it was but then the
1:12:04last slide said fuck you and I have been
1:12:06for the last 15 minutes i just talked
1:12:07over the slides and fuck you have you
1:12:09practiced it and you're like rehearsed
1:12:10it with time and everything
1:12:12oh no no no I improvised it because as I
1:12:15say I gave no thought to it until I
1:12:17arrived but you understand you
1:12:19understand my mind my questions
1:12:21it's that thatthat's wow how was the
1:12:24reception was uh yet you know i like to
1:12:29give impromptu speeches who and
1:12:33generally the response is good because
1:12:36some people people Larkin you're in
1:12:40you're very entertaining and I haven't
1:12:42done a lot of public speaking but i but
1:12:44i will just say that I think slides John
1:12:47i heard this a long time ago and I kind
1:12:50of don't want to say it to you because I
1:12:51I don't want to lose this awesome
1:12:53analogy that I have to mention is not
1:12:56correct
1:12:56but I've heard it said that the only
1:12:58people who really need polls when they
1:13:02ski are beginners and experts that the
1:13:06typical moderate level skier doesn't
1:13:09really need the polls to ski interesting
1:13:12yeah I don't think you need poles to ski
1:13:15I don't mean even an expert doesn't a
1:13:18beginner really doesn't either but okay
1:13:21stop right there
1:13:21good thing I don't ruin it ok no just
1:13:24just cause it's so good anyway you take
1:13:26the analogy in you know writ large right
1:13:28to me that's that slides you know you
1:13:31you you know when you are up there and
1:13:34you're nervous you don't know what
1:13:35you're saying I don't mean to talk about
1:13:36my actual job that I have but when
1:13:39people do that would make it up there
1:13:40they're making the classic mistakes
1:13:42they've got a bunch of bullshit slides
1:13:43with tiny tiny letters on it and they're
1:13:46doing the rookie mistake of reading off
1:13:47the slides right into me like when you
1:13:50get really good you come up with the
1:13:52super polished that to me I knew my
1:13:55slides got better when they didn't make
1:13:57any sense on their own sure and like it
1:14:01is to really frustrate me when people
1:14:03first of all demand slides and I would
1:14:05wish I had your last slide to send them
1:14:06because I would be like you know it's
1:14:09well yeah okay some your deck like what
1:14:11you want my deck only want to put in the
1:14:13binder we were planning on putting the
1:14:15vine binder is something people but
1:14:16that's what people i mean i'd get 100
1:14:18yeah but maybe that's what they do with
1:14:21these things you go oh and you see
1:14:23someone get me started that somebody
1:14:25could sit and just open the binder
1:14:26before the thing even starts read
1:14:28through all the slides yes and then
1:14:30there are done and then a person gets up
1:14:33and reads the slides allowed um it could
1:14:37be but let's say you've got the greatest
1:14:39talk in the world think about this how
1:14:41about this how about how about you're
1:14:43about to go and I don't have an example
1:14:46where you would go somewhere prestigious
1:14:4822 like CS three-song set but imagine
1:14:51that you went up to do your three best
1:14:52songs and right before you went out they
1:14:56handed out the lyrics to all the songs
1:15:00to the audience stapled together along
1:15:03with maybe a biography now if you're the
1:15:05typical person in that audience what are
1:15:07you going to be doing well somebody
1:15:09that you've never heard is performing a
1:15:11song at all the following along yeah
1:15:13thatthat's you'll be reading the lyrics
1:15:15but you'll be you'll be flipping through
1:15:18looking at all this and it's like having
1:15:20somebody the fucking script for the
1:15:22godfather to like right before the movie
1:15:24roles good guy you know before you go
1:15:27into this building will give you the
1:15:28blueprint
1:15:29well that's not the thing I gotta hate
1:15:31selling diva about this but like it too
1:15:33but and that's why to me it's so funny i
1:15:35would send people as well fine here you
1:15:37go here's my slides have fun and it
1:15:40would be likely no sense at all they're
1:15:42just know there's one that's a picture
1:15:43of a cardboard box there's another one
1:15:46that's a douchebag making to Devil's
1:15:48horns invites his lower lip and that's
1:15:51it you know have fun here's 20 flights
1:15:52are you up
1:15:53how's that working out love it yeah so I
1:15:56mean that's that's the problem
1:15:58this is like I've said several podcast
1:16:00about this how crazy making it is to me
1:16:03that and like I don't know there's
1:16:05there's probably this is probably
1:16:06actually emblematic of a lot of cultures
1:16:08where there's this shittiness of
1:16:11presentation culture that is so deeply
1:16:13ingrained in not only the people who
1:16:15give the talks and not really even need
1:16:17the people who have to suffer the talks
1:16:19but in the people who put on the tox em
1:16:22right and so I've been places where I'm
1:16:23expected to stand somewhere I didn't
1:16:26talk a year or two ago where and you
1:16:28know I when i trihard my slides are
1:16:30pretty good but I was at a place where I
1:16:32was expected to first hand them a PDF
1:16:35because they couldn't handle having like
1:16:37you know a keynote file with all the
1:16:39bills and stuff so I'm going to a PDF
1:16:41and then I had a remote right to change
1:16:43the slide
1:16:44except that remote actually send a
1:16:45signal to someone that turn on a light
1:16:47to let this guy in another room no to
1:16:49advance the slide
1:16:50whoa so so imagine that you had cards
1:16:53that you would hold up to let someone
1:16:55know which chords to fret
1:16:58wow that's how i felt and so I said sure
1:17:01I did what I end up doing about eighty
1:17:02percent of time which is I want you know
1:17:04what this Lots right because because you
1:17:07know you can do it right or don't do
1:17:09this is really boring but I i think it's
1:17:11AII but you know it does get to
1:17:13something that was driving me crazy
1:17:14which is like but the shittiness of a
1:17:16culture becomes you have these ruts like
1:17:19truly arrived
1:17:20like if you imagine wagons going down a
1:17:22road pretty much get 50 wagons going on
1:17:24a road there's gonna be some pretty deep
1:17:26ruts that those wheels create and it's
1:17:29going to be really hard to not have your
1:17:31wagon go into this and that's exactly
1:17:32what it is n times interesting to use a
1:17:34wagon as a rep producer but this we were
1:17:37talking about skiing earlier and it
1:17:38seems like skiing would be the way that
1:17:41you got to the cut to the right
1:17:43description i'm going to explain rest of
1:17:46my daughter two days ago with what we
1:17:48scoot together with soot and I was
1:17:50telling her about rats
1:17:51yeah rights are rights are a major
1:17:53features like you're a teachable moment
1:17:56like i can't i could talk for five
1:17:57minutes about ruts but they don't really
1:17:59become clear until you experience them
1:18:02you sure especially if you're going over
1:18:03ruts the wrong way oh yeah you like a
1:18:06lady and high heels
1:18:07yeah well this is a thing there's a
1:18:08thing on it on a wagon ruts it's not
1:18:12like you're gonna it's not like you want
1:18:13to take a different line on your way to
1:18:15oregon right here wagon ruts you're
1:18:18going to get into ruts you're going to
1:18:19go but in skiing ruts getting ruts get
1:18:22dug in and then you want to go a
1:18:24different way but they're these ruts in
1:18:26the way Barry and I could go on Ron I am
1:18:31wish avoid the Holocaust this is a
1:18:37documentary on Hollywood's treatment of
1:18:40primarily the Holocaust but also a
1:18:42little bit of pre-war stuff and they
1:18:44talked about you know this one scene in
1:18:46Sophie's Choice where Meryl Streep is
1:18:49doing this
1:18:49really aww she's very she's walking
1:18:51across the camp is it is what's right
1:18:53I never saw circuit now is it a
1:18:56holocaust movie I once thought it was
1:18:58about horses
1:19:00it totally sounds like a horse movie so
1:19:02these choices about horses and she's as
1:19:05credits on this dialogue thought it was
1:19:07like National Velvet shower and you
1:19:09actually turns out my friend flicka was
1:19:11about the state land but I didn't see
1:19:14that movie there anyway but she's got
1:19:16this really peculiar gate
1:19:19she's walking very very strange that
1:19:21basically in the middle of this federal
1:19:22street or or illustrate your brown horse
1:19:25I shouldn't said gate sorry my bad but
1:19:27on in her character is you know of
1:19:29course she's very ill and she
1:19:31walking across the ground meat you know
1:19:34being kind of let along by this you know
1:19:35one of those me now shirts ladies and
1:19:38and she has very odd like a it's a very
1:19:42memorable when you see it but this very
1:19:44strange like kind of swaying like almost
1:19:49like she's about to fall over kind of
1:19:51drunken master sort of way of walking
1:19:52and they hired people and consultants
1:19:55because they really wanted to get every
1:19:57you know detail day they could write and
1:20:00she wasn't doing that simply because she
1:20:01was malnourished she was doing that
1:20:03because there's like several inches of
1:20:05mud in the camp and you would make every
1:20:08attempt that you could follow the
1:20:10footsteps of other people in the mud so
1:20:13that you wouldn't get bogged down or or
1:20:16fall down in the mud right it's like
1:20:18it's like snow also watched three movies
1:20:23about anti-semitic propaganda the other
1:20:26name that we're not about the they were
1:20:30not also about the Holocaust I guess
1:20:33given that one was made by Hitler who is
1:20:38the is the dribbler Hitler and Hitler
1:20:42was the propagation of similar similar
1:20:44that mr. filter welcome to give any
1:20:51therapist howard county and the internet
1:20:56money fight on are off-limits but anyway
1:20:59uh so that's why people walk that way at
1:21:01Auschwitz right all the brothers ideas
1:21:04that actually to document you know what
1:21:05nevermind
1:21:06yeah you know I i was feeling the other
1:21:10day that you know when we talk about
1:21:13Semites it's all the people of Arabia
1:21:18and the Levant all of the Arabs are also
1:21:21Semitic people poop right we we never
1:21:25stay but anti-semite only refers to Jews
1:21:29well oh ok.what while I take a minute to
1:21:32look up a Twitter to you had yesterday
1:21:35tell me what that means by semi-tight
1:21:38i'm not familiar
1:21:40I thought Semitic meant Jewish
1:21:42no Semitic is a description of a
1:21:45language group the Semitic no shit
1:21:48yeah our arabic and Aramaic i am a total
1:21:53pike right i mean work ping-pong have a
1:21:54piker as a as a Holocaust scholar i
1:21:57could not know that
1:21:58yeah and Hebrew all these are a language
1:22:01group that are one of the endo Sam sem
1:22:05but right here you go from the Latin you
1:22:09know you digging in
1:22:10oh fuck so all of those people are
1:22:13called Semites as a because because they
1:22:17all share a common language group and
1:22:22then I think anti-semite only became a
1:22:26only became more of a targeted reference
1:22:29to Jews in the in the 19th century um
1:22:34during that whole period sort of mid
1:22:38eighteen hundreds when the Germans were
1:22:40really really wrestling with how how to
1:22:44integrate to choose into their culture
1:22:46that they decided not to
1:22:49spoiler alert but so Arabs are Semitic
1:22:54people also and all of this anti-arab
1:22:58talk in America that we have been
1:23:01soaking in for the last and I'm sorry
1:23:03that Arab Arab or Muslim well era
1:23:08because this gets me back to your toot
1:23:10what did I say in my 2 i'm sorry i'm
1:23:12double interrupting you don't remember
1:23:14all this that happened after 9-11 was
1:23:17like sikhs were being beat up right i
1:23:20mean there's this entire Venn diagram of
1:23:23confusion about who we were supposed to
1:23:25be mad at sure anybody with the turban
1:23:27but of course seeks couldn't be further
1:23:28like what like indian and pakistani guys
1:23:31like it and hassle to I mean it got
1:23:33pretty bananas for a while right well
1:23:35pakistani guys might have had it coming
1:23:37but indian guys not so much huh
1:23:40even even though it's a kind of bullying
1:23:42clairvoyance even though Indians and
1:23:44Pakistanis are very similar racially
1:23:47they have very different religions
1:23:51could be so could you eyeball a
1:23:53Pakistani vs Indian well but there are
1:23:57like seven hundred different racial
1:23:59groups in India you should be in the
1:24:01fucking cabinet John nine hours ago John
1:24:04erotic remember that a Chechen is not a
1:24:07check i actually ever ever read your
1:24:08Twitter sometimes remember that it's
1:24:10Chechen is not a check
1:24:11norwich ethnic normal avian in Moldavia
1:24:14and / moldovan or a Mon Rodian Nora
1:24:18Roman Roma or romanian right and as with
1:24:22me if I may say I can't believe you fit
1:24:24that many fucking letters into a two-up
1:24:27but you testify thinking that satisfy
1:24:29your exemplifying like a an unbelievable
1:24:34error that will make including me right
1:24:36you know well yeah so just so there's no
1:24:39Chechnya
1:24:40oh I don't have to show ya
1:24:44instead I should tell you John there is
1:24:48one way in which i am so and it's really
1:24:57hard can be hard to believe there's one
1:24:58way in which i am I don't even own a TV
1:25:01guy which is about the news right and i
1:25:05am that guy first of all in the way that
1:25:07like I actually don't follow the news
1:25:08but i'm also that guy in constantly
1:25:10letting you know that I don't follow the
1:25:11news so I have I i literally go out of
1:25:15my way if you could see my filling my
1:25:18filter file on tweek pot actually slows
1:25:20my computer down 10 it there's no way
1:25:23you can you can't prove a negative and
1:25:25there's no way you could begin to
1:25:27visualize how many things i never see
1:25:29anywhere but so Chechnya is part of the
1:25:32actual capital R Russia well so that
1:25:36area so we're about these countries and
1:25:38after hearing about these countries in
1:25:39the news all the time
1:25:40Armenia Azerbaijan Georgia
1:25:45right those are those are areas where
1:25:47the Russians have been fighting wars for
1:25:52a long time because they are these
1:25:54untamed areas between the Black Sea and
1:25:59the Caspian Sea at the very south end of
1:26:02what we think of as Russia but it isn't
1:26:04Russia really at all they are the they
1:26:08are the people there are a lot of them
1:26:10are Muslims they're there they're
1:26:12related to like Persians and Turks and
1:26:19they were conquered by the Russians back
1:26:21in the day multiple different times in
1:26:24ways but they live up in the mountains
1:26:26they are Caucasian people because those
1:26:30are literally the caucus snare Isis
1:26:33mountainous but the they are not they
1:26:37are not ethnically russian they are they
1:26:39are very much like descendants of
1:26:43genghis khan and and they are mad and
1:26:51Chechnya is this weird little landlocked
1:26:55mountain readout up there that doesn't
1:27:00want to be in Russia anymore it's not
1:27:02really a self-sustaining place
1:27:05surrounded by Russians and mountains and
1:27:12it's ruled by an autocratic dictator who
1:27:16thinks that he is god like a lot of
1:27:19those places you talk about Turkmenistan
1:27:20well turkmenistan has it bad check ice
1:27:23crossing turkey that guy's amazing
1:27:26administration whose becca Stan and
1:27:28Kazakh Stan and Tajikistan are all on
1:27:32the other side of the Caspian Sea and
1:27:34they're much more like steps you know
1:27:38they're much more like horse horse
1:27:40people those are the horse-riding people
1:27:42the long 15 us that name all the months
1:27:46after himself
1:27:47yeah he's built that he's built a couple
1:27:49of Brazilians like big towns out in the
1:27:52middle of nowhere that are littered full
1:27:54of pyramids and globes giant gold gold
1:27:57globes
1:27:58but so that area is very interesting now
1:28:02more Arabia is is a half of the Czech
1:28:10Republic so the czech republic is made
1:28:13up of bohemia and moravia which are two
1:28:16regions that we don't think of their out
1:28:19separate countries and never were but
1:28:20they are two kingdoms i guess and the
1:28:24Bohemians and the meridians feel
1:28:25differently about each other they're
1:28:27United in a kind of contempt for the
1:28:29Slovakian now moldova used to be part of
1:28:35Romania and they speak Romanian but it
1:28:40was absorbed into be Ukraine and so
1:28:42became my god John it's like they're
1:28:45trying to fuck with us they change the
1:28:46alphabet of the Romanian language into
1:28:49cyrillic so the Moldovan 'he's which
1:28:54that country also before it was called
1:28:56moldova it was called Mordovia but had
1:29:02that region is now a separate country
1:29:05where they speak Romanian but they but
1:29:09they spell it with russian letters and
1:29:16so all of these places are probably
1:29:18going to erupt in war and everyone will
1:29:20be sent to camps i am yeah you hear more
1:29:28about there's a anti-semitic sorry aunty
1:29:31she the anti-gm movies now now you don't
1:29:34yet but i mean like the one you still
1:29:35see today that's a pretty funny so
1:29:37Georgia I mean setting aside the white
1:29:39album and who my mind the my daughter
1:29:44loves that song how cool is that she's
1:29:46here now repeat your daughter is cool to
1:29:48turn into that's gets are you know about
1:29:54the importance of happiness is a warm
1:29:55gun aware of how important that song is
1:29:57to you personally or to the world to the
1:30:00Beatles
1:30:01it was the last song they had fun making
1:30:04really yeah you know like we talked
1:30:08before about that does outtakes from and
1:30:10your bird can sing you can hear how high
1:30:12they were and like they're laughing I
1:30:14mean they're super duper high right
1:30:16there soon want to say I don't sound
1:30:19public broadcast sure the sea
1:30:21hey might still have you it's fun it's
1:30:24really done that's gonna happen camera
1:30:26and his podcast has a bullet when I
1:30:29could have the doctor and they put the
1:30:30piece of paper in front of me ever done
1:30:33any drugs or smoke cigarettes and I'm
1:30:34like no way haha I'm not telling you
1:30:37buddy
1:30:39if you find out if you find an
1:30:41undifferentiated mass in my lung
1:30:44we're both going to wonder where it came
1:30:45from it's asparagus
1:30:48ok forget about 17 my friend I have a
1:30:55good friend who had had a really really
1:30:57bad traumatic injury to his hand me
1:30:59heartless years we'll be able to figure
1:31:01out who this is and that he went to the
1:31:04doctor because I mean basically you know
1:31:06he liked s7 and nerve and he had to go
1:31:09through all this like it's a big deal
1:31:10and and where they went to the doctor
1:31:14of course like they do they ask you you
1:31:17know d take ibuprofen I do you smoke
1:31:20anymore
1:31:23like do you do you do in SD drink right
1:31:27and of course you know like me I think
1:31:31he paused he paused and then I mean
1:31:35continuously if you fucking if you're if
1:31:37you're like a anderson nurse but if you
1:31:39are the information taker at that
1:31:41facility you
1:31:44I mean you know what you can get good at
1:31:46something in a day if you do it often
1:31:48enough it was you do that 10 times in
1:31:50one day I bet within a week you are
1:31:52going to be like fucking Kreskin at
1:31:55knowing whether somebody drinks a lot or
1:31:57whether someone lies a lot for that
1:31:58price right absolutely but they never
1:32:00let on
1:32:02I mean so here's here's some here's some
1:32:03possible answers to that
1:32:05also here's the thing and this is such
1:32:09great hack
1:32:10don't ask you drink they ask you how
1:32:12many drinks do you have
1:32:14week it's the first of all you gotta do
1:32:16math if you're trying to be honest
1:32:18yeah but you know you could say I don't
1:32:20drink anymore which is a good lie or it
1:32:23could be four times a week or you say
1:32:28your senior couple weekends because it's
1:32:30not a binge drinker right and so my
1:32:33friend said that the real rookie thing
1:32:36which is that he has a couple drinks a
1:32:38day
1:32:39ok so that's the like he's starting to a
1:32:40college is exactly what i would say
1:32:42which really means i have about three or
1:32:45four times that much right
1:32:47couple of drinks and his wife it was
1:32:50also his wife is awesome
1:32:51it was all she could do not to like
1:32:53knock him onto the floor
1:32:55she said listen when you go in and you
1:32:58talk to anyone whether it's a doctor or
1:32:59anyone and they ask you how much you
1:33:01drink you don't you tell them i only
1:33:03drink socially which is such a great
1:33:06answer because it doesn't really it
1:33:07doesn't really answer the question all
1:33:09but that's such a that's a RK cancer
1:33:11that's a Mad Men answer i'll get drink
1:33:14socially it sounds like denial
1:33:16it sounds likes it sounds like something
1:33:18that you heard your father say many
1:33:20times or heard sounds like something you
1:33:22heard your mother say to your father
1:33:23about this that the the nurse and the
1:33:25next ron says how many things do you
1:33:28have a week and you say to you think
1:33:30you're better than me haha
1:33:37it's pretty ghetto that's actually a
1:33:39good one word god fucking hour and a
1:33:41half
1:33:42[Music]