Roderick on the Line

Ep. 66: "If I Could Stop Time"


00:00:00   hello John [TS]

00:00:07   I'm Marlins are you I'm fine how are you [TS]

00:00:11   feeling somewhat muted you're feeling [TS]

00:00:15   muted in just you know little reserved [TS]

00:00:17   for a little bit low ebb midnight store [TS]

00:00:22   you listen to daddy o records i'm i'm [TS]

00:00:31   sitting here reading the lyrics to della [TS]

00:00:34   souls hit song the magic number M think [TS]

00:00:39   that's a lot of right now I don't think [TS]

00:00:41   I that cool what didn't have a giant [TS]

00:00:43   problem with clearing their samples a [TS]

00:00:46   child is that but oh I eibhlín gilbert [TS]

00:00:50   o'sullivan so that's an example of a [TS]

00:00:53   clear situation where sampling produced [TS]

00:00:56   a masterwork uh-huh and all should kneel [TS]

00:01:01   I stand I stand corrected you can buy it [TS]

00:01:03   i just remember there's a time where it [TS]

00:01:04   was it was kinda hard to get [TS]

00:01:06   yeah you might think the hell of a [TS]

00:01:08   record that was a dozen amazing summer [TS]

00:01:10   you know that you are getting about this [TS]

00:01:12   for a second that was 24 years ago 24 [TS]

00:01:16   years ago [TS]

00:01:17   telesales three feet high and rising 24 [TS]

00:01:22   years the 24th anniversary of abbey road [TS]

00:01:25   was September of 1993 i was playing this [TS]

00:01:29   game tonight with my wife a terrible [TS]

00:01:31   game [TS]

00:01:32   it's a horrible game i think some words [TS]

00:01:34   the game I've been playing for years and [TS]

00:01:36   i wish i had a name for it but I had a [TS]

00:01:38   little genius mix on and down if I can't [TS]

00:01:42   change your mind Bob Mould came up and [TS]

00:01:44   was like this song is 20 years old or [TS]

00:01:49   more [TS]

00:01:49   that's about 20 years old which means [TS]

00:01:50   that at that time a 20-year old song [TS]

00:01:53   came out in 1973 this will be nothing to [TS]

00:01:56   the younger listeners but it's harrowing [TS]

00:01:58   it's harrowing to me it's harrowing at [TS]

00:02:01   and particularly i was thinking about [TS]

00:02:03   this the other day in 1986 the it is not [TS]

00:02:08   just that we were younger [TS]

00:02:11   and that time is longer for young people [TS]

00:02:14   because in 1986 clearly we had we had [TS]

00:02:17   gone through we had transitioned through [TS]

00:02:18   a thousand years in the culture from [TS]

00:02:23   1966 right that 20-year period from 66 [TS]

00:02:27   286 we had experienced the metamorphosis [TS]

00:02:32   of a thousand years of human [TS]

00:02:35   consciousness 66 we had not been to the [TS]

00:02:38   moon 66 we were still we were still [TS]

00:02:43   wearing white go-go boots for the love [TS]

00:02:45   set of God and body and ironically and [TS]

00:02:48   by 1986 we had been through we had you [TS]

00:02:54   know we had been through a doo-wop [TS]

00:02:55   revival we had been through am radio [TS]

00:02:59   songwriting we had a weird experience [TS]

00:03:03   the punk-rock disco anti disco anti punk [TS]

00:03:07   new wave anti new wave post auntie disco [TS]

00:03:11   punk post auntie new wave disc upon we [TS]

00:03:15   had had then another doo-wop revival [TS]

00:03:17   write them there were there were three [TS]

00:03:21   rockabilly revivals between nineteen [TS]

00:03:23   sixty six in 1986 and you know it in the [TS]

00:03:28   same 20 years band 2013-2 1993 i [TS]

00:03:36   challenge you to think of a single thing [TS]

00:03:37   that's happened I think it's I think [TS]

00:03:39   it's problematic yardstick of that all [TS]

00:03:41   of our age [TS]

00:03:42   yeah okay here's one this is this is [TS]

00:03:44   regarded by some as such a classic it's [TS]

00:03:46   cliche but Greece which had been a [TS]

00:03:49   Broadway Broadway show reasons the word [TS]

00:03:51   is the word the word you've been hearing [TS]

00:03:53   it's that move it's got feeling in time [TS]

00:03:56   space and emotion Frankie Frankie Valli [TS]

00:03:58   saying that is that right not involved a [TS]

00:04:01   lot of soul not in falsetto wow thats [TS]

00:04:05   exactly [TS]

00:04:06   risa the movie that people are most [TS]

00:04:09   familiar with more than the show grace [TS]

00:04:11   came out in 1978 which means that the [TS]

00:04:14   nostalgia in Greece was 20 years old and [TS]

00:04:18   grease movies no 35 years old [TS]

00:04:20   [Music] [TS]

00:04:21   so I just have a try first ballot in a [TS]

00:04:25   month while you're thinking [TS]

00:04:26   Adam I am so nostalgic for the original [TS]

00:04:32   nostalgia that I felt for a thing that I [TS]

00:04:35   was not alive for continuing to be so [TS]

00:04:38   mean there's so many layers of nostalgia [TS]

00:04:41   between me and anything that wasn't that [TS]

00:04:44   though that I like I'm think about this [TS]

00:04:47   in 1940 when my dad went down to the [TS]

00:04:51   showbox theater to see Benny Goodman and [TS]

00:04:55   his orchestra but wait I'm sorry get [TS]

00:04:57   what year is that 1942 my god imagine [TS]

00:05:01   seeing like sing sing live [TS]

00:05:04   bye-bye on a pop and doing to do that [TS]

00:05:07   was that was the punk-rock of swing and [TS]

00:05:10   people are flying through the air [TS]

00:05:11   they're dancing so that they're there [TS]

00:05:14   they're causing the sprung dance floor [TS]

00:05:17   to bounce people people are flying [TS]

00:05:19   through the air and my dad is you know [TS]

00:05:23   with basically with his teeth on the [TS]

00:05:25   stage watching this band and thinking to [TS]

00:05:28   himself this is all I want to do with my [TS]

00:05:30   life I don't want to I don't want to be [TS]

00:05:32   a lawyer I don't want to go into real [TS]

00:05:36   estate or business or government I want [TS]

00:05:37   to go with this so I want to go with [TS]

00:05:39   this band and he there was no aspect of [TS]

00:05:45   nostalgia in that music him for its time [TS]

00:05:50   it was a hundred percent original with [TS]

00:05:54   no antecedents do it was not was not [TS]

00:05:58   aping Lenny antecedent habits like two [TS]

00:06:01   years old it was I was like it was like [TS]

00:06:03   a throwback a direct like quote of [TS]

00:06:06   ragtime or something it was something [TS]

00:06:08   really new [TS]

00:06:09   yeah and I guess they did I guess [TS]

00:06:10   everyone's while they would they would [TS]

00:06:11   tag ragtime like a little pavement riff [TS]

00:06:15   or something yeah they driven they drop [TS]

00:06:17   it in but I mean they were they were [TS]

00:06:20   blowing people's minds with this music [TS]

00:06:22   and I'm thinking now like everything [TS]

00:06:25   I've ever loved has been filtered [TS]

00:06:29   through at least one cheesecloth of [TS]

00:06:32   nostalgia right now [TS]

00:06:35   is that not even knew other there's [TS]

00:06:36   nothing about new wave once you strip [TS]

00:06:40   the clothes off of them which i tried to [TS]

00:06:44   do in every opportunity there was [TS]

00:06:46   nothing about new wave that hadn't been [TS]

00:06:48   ok let's turn on the farfisa it's like a [TS]

00:06:50   fast kinks song a lot of time right or [TS]

00:06:54   you know or again any any one of a [TS]

00:06:57   number of beatles songs right Perseids [TS]

00:06:59   the whole idea i don't know i'm just [TS]

00:07:02   sitting here I'm just sitting here in [TS]

00:07:05   mind [TS]

00:07:05   nostalgia pod I my nostalgia escape pod [TS]

00:07:10   I'm looking around the room and I can I [TS]

00:07:12   cannot think of a single thing here that [TS]

00:07:14   either isn't actually a thing from the [TS]

00:07:19   sixties or seventies or or from a modern [TS]

00:07:22   thing that has been made to look like [TS]

00:07:23   it's from the sixties or seventies it's [TS]

00:07:25   true except for my apple products [TS]

00:07:27   they're the only modern thing in this [TS]

00:07:32   whole and basically my whole house and [TS]

00:07:34   you're not happy with them with of it [TS]

00:07:36   just they don't do it you know what this [TS]

00:07:38   is it's like I don't explain it to you [TS]

00:07:41   but it's kind of like the days of the [TS]

00:07:42   Wright brothers it's like we're using [TS]

00:07:44   bicycles and her airplanes that's where [TS]

00:07:48   that's where we are right now if this if [TS]

00:07:50   if this Apple nostalgia for the early [TS]

00:07:52   days if it had been made it is that if [TS]

00:07:55   this mac thing had been made to look [TS]

00:07:58   like an apple 2e and i think i would be [TS]

00:08:00   very satisfied with it through think i [TS]

00:08:02   would be like well look at this it's so [TS]

00:08:04   quaint and quirky a friend add mr. [TS]

00:08:08   Hodgman was on Marc Maron's podcast [TS]

00:08:09   awhile back and there's a wonderful [TS]

00:08:11   quote I I don't understand how you come [TS]

00:08:13   up with something like that's without [TS]

00:08:14   writing it but i think it was John [TS]

00:08:16   nightmare but some one of them said I [TS]

00:08:18   nostalgia used to be better haha but the [TS]

00:08:22   sad part is instantly understood you [TS]

00:08:24   know what they met but you can't [TS]

00:08:27   understand don't know from nostalgia [TS]

00:08:28   yeah nostalgia Jesus everyone now [TS]

00:08:32   increase came out I was kind of torn [TS]

00:08:34   because I had had just kind of split [TS]

00:08:39   allegiance among the two cool guys on TV [TS]

00:08:42   that I followed closely the fonts and [TS]

00:08:45   yeah Arboretum [TS]

00:08:47   barberino right yeah but then Barbarino [TS]

00:08:50   was in he knows in Greece and so like [TS]

00:08:54   that the way that I found common ground [TS]

00:08:56   listed go into the bathroom and take a [TS]

00:08:58   giant scoop of Vaseline petroleum jelly [TS]

00:09:01   that you have that you guys had in your [TS]

00:09:03   house [TS]

00:09:04   my mom's of liberal woman I see actually [TS]

00:09:06   no part of that is accurate and that why [TS]

00:09:08   don't you ever put vaseline on your hair [TS]

00:09:10   I've never did it says easy it seemed so [TS]

00:09:12   straightforward you've got something it [TS]

00:09:14   doesn't look like when you look at [TS]

00:09:15   Fonzie you think he's probably got [TS]

00:09:16   Vaseline his heritage but he's putting a [TS]

00:09:18   greasy kids let's give all the things in [TS]

00:09:21   your Hall things go back in your mind [TS]

00:09:23   imagine a young John Robert going [TS]

00:09:25   through your home right now and you had [TS]

00:09:27   to create Fonzie hair of all the things [TS]

00:09:29   don't you think that's in like the point [TS]

00:09:31   five percent of things that would make [TS]

00:09:32   you look like you have phones here [TS]

00:09:34   well you would think that except that [TS]

00:09:36   you know my parents were a little bit [TS]

00:09:38   older [TS]

00:09:39   I'll see you know about like Brylcreem [TS]

00:09:41   or pc kid stuff [TS]

00:09:42   yeah so I actually went to my mom and [TS]

00:09:45   said how do you get your hair to do that [TS]

00:09:47   and she said oh can you be studying [TS]

00:09:51   she did she did say that but then she [TS]

00:09:53   said oh what you want is a vitalis and [TS]

00:09:58   so we all went to the drugstore longs [TS]

00:10:01   drugs in anchorage alaska and they're in [TS]

00:10:05   the men's grooming section in the in [TS]

00:10:08   this section you know pass the drug card [TS]

00:10:09   to our down where the where like only [TS]

00:10:13   old men shopped where you could buy [TS]

00:10:14   still buy a straight razor there was [TS]

00:10:18   vitalis you could buy it and i bought a [TS]

00:10:21   bottle of it which i still have I don't [TS]

00:10:25   think they go bad i have they don't [TS]

00:10:28   think I everybody i know you're not a [TS]

00:10:30   big bottle water fan but it's got an [TS]

00:10:31   expiration date on it [TS]

00:10:32   yeah I don't think my talent has ever [TS]

00:10:34   had an expiration date no and I still [TS]

00:10:35   have the exact bottle of italicized [TS]

00:10:38   bought in 1983 it is the duck there's [TS]

00:10:41   not a lot of vitalis left in it but i [TS]

00:10:42   still use it every once in awhile output [TS]

00:10:45   a little sprinkle of my talents in Miami [TS]

00:10:47   been the but the fact is that my mom was [TS]

00:10:49   wrong [TS]

00:10:50   that's not how you get on two hits it's [TS]

00:10:52   like it's mostly Hanukkah it's how is [TS]

00:10:55   there still fight Alice in there that's [TS]

00:10:57   right it's um it's a miracle [TS]

00:10:58   what is that Ellis it's how you get [TS]

00:11:01   Benny Goodman hair it's not how you get [TS]

00:11:03   fuzzy hair he's a good-looking guy but [TS]

00:11:05   my mom was in but she was one of those [TS]

00:11:06   in-between generation shoes that thing [TS]

00:11:08   you know she was 20 in the early fifties [TS]

00:11:12   so she still was licking her hair down [TS]

00:11:14   an old-fashioned way anyways don't have [TS]

00:11:17   this by Dallas wow so so you put [TS]

00:11:20   vaseline in your hair yeah it seems you [TS]

00:11:23   know and it's sometimes things I've [TS]

00:11:25   noticed about myself over the years one [TS]

00:11:26   thing I've noticed in the last five to [TS]

00:11:28   ten years is occasionally i use a little [TS]

00:11:29   bit of hair product you know like if I [TS]

00:11:31   want to like achieve a certain look I've [TS]

00:11:33   noticed that when I'm nervous I use a [TS]

00:11:35   little more than I should run you know [TS]

00:11:37   like you know like so we'll talk more [TS]

00:11:38   than they should when they're nervous i [TS]

00:11:39   use I use more hair product than I [TS]

00:11:41   should and that was wow you know that [TS]

00:11:43   you cut your own hair and you know the [TS]

00:11:45   problem of like I'm just gonna like even [TS]

00:11:47   these sides up [TS]

00:11:48   yeah and then pretty soon you click here [TS]

00:11:50   about be putting the you know electric [TS]

00:11:52   chair now and dad happened to me and so [TS]

00:11:54   I put in you know what seemed like I [TS]

00:11:56   remember hearing that phrase that broken [TS]

00:11:58   phrasal a little dab will do you [TS]

00:11:59   I did not have a standard for what a DAB [TS]

00:12:01   was but I thought is probably applicable [TS]

00:12:03   to this obviously applicable Vaseline [TS]

00:12:07   and then I needed more because i wasn't [TS]

00:12:09   getting the effect i wanted and pretty [TS]

00:12:11   soon I basically put lots of oil like [TS]

00:12:14   literally oil in my hand and it melts [TS]

00:12:17   once it's in your hair like yeah once it [TS]

00:12:18   once it gets into the 98.6 it gets real [TS]

00:12:21   comfortable the fact that it starts to [TS]

00:12:22   run down the back to America it was more [TS]

00:12:25   of an eye I can't in my head right now I [TS]

00:12:28   can't imagine at games hair look like [TS]

00:12:29   but haha i think if you're going if [TS]

00:12:34   somebody just knew enough about 18 you [TS]

00:12:36   would you have ashley and then my mom [TS]

00:12:38   was really really unhappy with me and so [TS]

00:12:41   I went in there and I and I wash my hair [TS]

00:12:43   and wash my hair again and I don't know [TS]

00:12:45   if you're from the hood TX that went on [TS]

00:12:46   water don't mix I but the my hair said [TS]

00:12:50   fuck you to the shower for days right at [TS]

00:12:53   least raise i look I look so bad i [TS]

00:12:56   looked like Larry Darryl Darryl I mean [TS]

00:12:58   it looks really really bad [TS]

00:12:59   yeah I'm sure you smelled like like a [TS]

00:13:01   refinery are you smelled like is [TS]

00:13:03   somebody dressed like West Texas [TS]

00:13:05   yeah well I mean I looked I looked I I [TS]

00:13:07   smelled like a dildo and look like a [TS]

00:13:08   serial killer mm it was miserable but I [TS]

00:13:11   didn't do that again [TS]

00:13:12   I learn more about stuff later but I [TS]

00:13:13   mean this is an ongoing problem for me [TS]

00:13:15   takes a long time [TS]

00:13:16   well I said before I have my whole life [TS]

00:13:18   especially as a and adults young adults [TS]

00:13:20   and older adult I always feel like that [TS]

00:13:22   somehow not gotten the manual like it [TS]

00:13:24   was just like I said my wife the other [TS]

00:13:25   day I always feel like somebody got like [TS]

00:13:27   a three page printout but what happened [TS]

00:13:29   was we were watching that house of cards [TS]

00:13:30   thing on netflix and we accidentally [TS]

00:13:32   skipped over a very important episode [TS]

00:13:34   and when the next one came on we were [TS]

00:13:36   like what happened so what do you do you [TS]

00:13:38   doubt yourself and you say oh I'm stupid [TS]

00:13:40   because I can't figure this out [TS]

00:13:42   obviously I wasn't paying attention i [TS]

00:13:43   was playing with my ipad i just need to [TS]

00:13:45   watch this more closely and the two [TS]

00:13:47   nights later [TS]

00:13:48   that's like well you know we missed an [TS]

00:13:49   incredibly important episode [TS]

00:13:51   yeah and that's how i feel i feel like [TS]

00:13:53   there was a three page handout that [TS]

00:13:54   would have made everything like [TS]

00:13:57   seventy-five percent better for me well [TS]

00:13:59   that's why we're doing this podcast is [TS]

00:14:00   like it is the three page handout for [TS]

00:14:02   the next generation but uh but you know [TS]

00:14:06   that my problem with grease he was the [TS]

00:14:09   movie was that I had a younger sister [TS]

00:14:12   who was actually more culturally aware [TS]

00:14:14   and more of a media consumer than I was [TS]

00:14:18   even at the age of ten she was eight and [TS]

00:14:22   I was 10 [TS]

00:14:23   your sister seems hip so she was very [TS]

00:14:24   hip like she could get the things that [TS]

00:14:27   you might try to dissect with the chart [TS]

00:14:29   like she could just grok that she got [TS]

00:14:31   him instantly so so I wanted to be as a [TS]

00:14:35   ten-year-old I wanted to be absorbed [TS]

00:14:37   into the greased universe and I wanted [TS]

00:14:40   to drive a hot-rod car that had a [TS]

00:14:42   Plexiglas you know by now that might in [TS]

00:14:45   the fullness of time flying to discuss [TS]

00:14:48   my flight into this guy I definitely [TS]

00:14:50   definitely a understood the appeal of [TS]

00:14:54   being a rocker girl but I also [TS]

00:14:57   understood the appeal of being a good [TS]

00:15:01   girl [TS]

00:15:01   I mean these are some of my models and I [TS]

00:15:04   wasn't sure whether I wanted to be a [TS]

00:15:05   good girl or a rocker girl but but I'm [TS]

00:15:08   but then my sister was like [TS]

00:15:13   seriously seriously heavily into Greece [TS]

00:15:17   and I I felt an obligation as her older [TS]

00:15:19   brother to be dismissive about it was [TS]

00:15:21   like the girl version of frantic [TS]

00:15:22   Frampton Comes Alive like every girl I [TS]

00:15:24   knew how to copy that soundtrack every [TS]

00:15:26   girl and my sister you know had it [TS]

00:15:28   memorized and she what she watched the [TS]

00:15:30   movie 25 times and she learned whatever [TS]

00:15:32   bad thing you're supposed to learn about [TS]

00:15:35   about being a Barbie dollar or whatever [TS]

00:15:39   whatever it is that people are mad at [TS]

00:15:41   Greece for but but uh but i wanted to [TS]

00:15:44   enjoy Greece I wanted to be an innocent [TS]

00:15:46   ten-year-old boy who loses his innocence [TS]

00:15:49   to I mean you know honestly i was i was [TS]

00:15:53   more in love with frenchie em ngu [TS]

00:15:56   stockard channing character [TS]

00:15:58   oh I was announced that the guy from [TS]

00:16:01   taxi that's the dude from taxi know and [TS]

00:16:03   i think it was Kenickie friend she was [TS]

00:16:05   the girl who wanted to be a she was the [TS]

00:16:08   beauty school dropout all right the girl [TS]

00:16:10   with the nose yeah bingo [TS]

00:16:14   she's a little break she was the seed so [TS]

00:16:17   she was so Julie and substitute so cute [TS]

00:16:22   and I you know and I didn't understand [TS]

00:16:26   why she wasn't the one she wasn't the [TS]

00:16:28   sex object of the film because olivia [TS]

00:16:29   newton-john she's fine she's cute but [TS]

00:16:31   she's a little plain compared to the [TS]

00:16:33   exotic everybody movie is obviously at [TS]

00:16:36   least 30 in retrospect well you start [TS]

00:16:38   eating like 645 totally but Stockard [TS]

00:16:42   Channing was foxy 2 i'm not i mean of [TS]

00:16:45   all the girls to GTV show after that and [TS]

00:16:49   I was attracted to her [TS]

00:16:50   yeah she'sshe's puckish partitions right [TS]

00:16:54   although I thought I felt her character [TS]

00:16:55   on the west wing with Chad thought she [TS]

00:16:57   was not supportive enough of the [TS]

00:16:58   president who [TS]

00:17:00   well no that's your job you're working [TS]

00:17:01   for the president you should be [TS]

00:17:02   extremely supportive really if you're [TS]

00:17:05   his wife and I mean I understand that [TS]

00:17:06   she's a she's a female empowerment [TS]

00:17:08   figure but come behind the man who is [TS]

00:17:11   the president is the president on my a [TS]

00:17:14   nice file card increase its real [TS]

00:17:15   straightforward it came out i think in [TS]

00:17:17   1978 and I just have such a clear [TS]

00:17:20   recollection of this one family at our [TS]

00:17:22   church had gone and brought [TS]

00:17:26   their child to it and they walked out of [TS]

00:17:30   that they marched out of there in [TS]

00:17:32   complete and utter outrage in like the [TS]

00:17:34   first however many minutes like what [TS]

00:17:37   happens in the first minutes it doesn't [TS]

00:17:38   matter [TS]

00:17:39   like everything in fact we eat well I [TS]

00:17:41   think they're smoking and sass mouth and [TS]

00:17:44   like all things like if this is what [TS]

00:17:46   happens at the beginning of a PG movie [TS]

00:17:48   you know you put your hands over the [TS]

00:17:50   kids ears and you know out of here leave [TS]

00:17:52   the popcorn take the cannoli let's get [TS]

00:17:54   out of here [TS]

00:17:54   yeah and that was the thing is that was [TS]

00:17:57   the word that you heard with groove and [TS]

00:17:58   feeling was this grease was not where [TS]

00:18:01   people at wait a christian church should [TS]

00:18:03   be spending their time with their [TS]

00:18:04   children carys bad it might as well as [TS]

00:18:06   you know it was like the Holocaust or [TS]

00:18:07   something [TS]

00:18:08   people were dry humping people were [TS]

00:18:09   finger-banging oh yeah fingerbanged I [TS]

00:18:13   mean probably through the pants but uh [TS]

00:18:16   huh uh huh you know for a long time I i [TS]

00:18:19   was because of my very special things I [TS]

00:18:22   was very attracted to the weirdly the [TS]

00:18:26   disturbing sexy Olivia newton-john yeah [TS]

00:18:30   because I think that's what you're [TS]

00:18:32   supposed to do even that she seemed [TS]

00:18:33   really uncomfortable in her role [TS]

00:18:35   yeah it's like fake slutty girl of [TS]

00:18:37   course I was attracted to her but in [TS]

00:18:38   retrospect I gotta say the original the [TS]

00:18:41   one who should be your vitalis Olivia [TS]

00:18:48   newton-john in those spandex pants is a [TS]

00:18:50   little too bony I have to say huh [TS]

00:18:52   she's a little bony she's a little like [TS]

00:18:55   boy hipped yeah what about the word [TS]

00:18:57   about the don't want I really don't want [TS]

00:18:59   to know what what your special thing is [TS]

00:19:00   but what about the physical video now [TS]

00:19:03   come on boy that was that transitioned [TS]

00:19:07   into like I had a very very complicated [TS]

00:19:10   relationship with leg warmers and [TS]

00:19:11   headbands big ones and headbands [TS]

00:19:16   basically where the they were the ballot [TS]

00:19:18   that those were the boundary fences of [TS]

00:19:20   my whole young sex life right there was [TS]

00:19:23   there was a headband here and there were [TS]

00:19:26   late warmers there and everything [TS]

00:19:27   in-between was like well how did you get [TS]

00:19:31   there like a PPS in dmz yeah how did you [TS]

00:19:34   first know how to get the pants off with [TS]

00:19:36   their leg warmers guarding the approach [TS]

00:19:39   and I met I don't know what the headband [TS]

00:19:41   is for yeah but look like by that you [TS]

00:19:43   know that kicked up to get John McEnroe [TS]

00:19:45   and you're bored with the headbands I [TS]

00:19:47   think they really gonna kick that off [TS]

00:19:48   Olivia definitely carry that forward and [TS]

00:19:50   then Flashdance just blew that wide-open [TS]

00:19:53   think that I a flash I wasn't into [TS]

00:19:55   Flashdance I I have a confession to make [TS]

00:19:57   you know this is one of those weird [TS]

00:20:00   things that when I look back at it I [TS]

00:20:02   cannot know I cannot I cannot put myself [TS]

00:20:06   fully in my thirteen-year-old mind [TS]

00:20:09   because when i was 13 i could not think [TS]

00:20:13   of a more beautiful woman and Jamie Lee [TS]

00:20:16   Curtis who and then later 15 years later [TS]

00:20:22   when I in the fullness of time had come [TS]

00:20:26   to recognize that Jamie Lee Curtis was [TS]

00:20:28   kind of repulsive [TS]

00:20:29   oh I'd well I tried to get a shower and [TS]

00:20:33   Aphrodite and hope that didn't know your [TS]

00:20:34   opinion of a general or bad it's jay [TS]

00:20:36   normative that's what that's one of [TS]

00:20:38   those things like that they pumped a [TS]

00:20:40   gallon of semen out of Rod Stewart I [TS]

00:20:42   don't believe that izzy 8w spider eggs [TS]

00:20:44   but he here pop rocks and then drank a [TS]

00:20:49   coke and it turned into a gallon of [TS]

00:20:51   scene and that's why they charged in ten [TS]

00:20:52   thousand dollars for the cookie recipe [TS]

00:20:54   but I honestly my whole idea of like the [TS]

00:20:59   foxiest girl in the world was Jamie Lee [TS]

00:21:03   Curtis in trading places and now i [TS]

00:21:07   cannot i cannot get there i can not at [TS]

00:21:10   all you can that you don't have access [TS]

00:21:13   to that at all [TS]

00:21:14   I mean Jill st. John there's there was [TS]

00:21:18   never any question I can always go look [TS]

00:21:20   at Joe st. John and I can find exactly [TS]

00:21:24   what it was that I was thinking the [TS]

00:21:25   first time I saw Jolson job but I but [TS]

00:21:30   Jamie Lee it's just it's not the same [TS]

00:21:32   it's not the same for me anything like [TS]

00:21:34   you wouldn't be so vacuous as to say it [TS]

00:21:36   was just because you saw her boobies for [TS]

00:21:38   a second and then known before long [TS]

00:21:40   before I saw her boobies right she been [TS]

00:21:44   in you know what halloween and we should [TS]

00:21:46   either using 10 but I'm just saying like [TS]

00:21:48   I think she was in front of 13 [TS]

00:21:50   yes she did all these slasher films that [TS]

00:21:52   were really pop those are two like [TS]

00:21:54   canonical slasher films point being that [TS]

00:21:56   like her face was everywhere for teenage [TS]

00:21:58   boys like fangoria staring at you know [TS]

00:22:01   what I mean like she was some of our [TS]

00:22:02   youth [TS]

00:22:03   yeah she had that boyish haircut she had [TS]

00:22:05   the 1i like John I like bullish I come [TS]

00:22:07   snapping i really like bullish but now [TS]

00:22:10   now as proper as as it probably should [TS]

00:22:14   have been and Margaret in Tommy oh god [TS]

00:22:17   is 50 actually is actually the peak is [TS]

00:22:21   actually the you know she is the ER do [TS]

00:22:24   do enjoy the appearance of a more [TS]

00:22:26   womanly woman these days to I enjoy the [TS]

00:22:30   appearance of a more womanly woman I [TS]

00:22:33   don't wanna talk about this at all but [TS]

00:22:34   if we're going to talk about this let's [TS]

00:22:35   make it a continuum [TS]

00:22:37   I'm just making this up I still kind of [TS]

00:22:38   digesting dinner but if we have a [TS]

00:22:41   continuum that goes somewhere between [TS]

00:22:42   Audrey Hepburn and Marilyn Monroe right [TS]

00:22:46   is that a fair one like because I want [TS]

00:22:48   him [TS]

00:22:48   yeah i mean that the cultural reference [TS]

00:22:51   because literally 50 60 years old [TS]

00:22:55   yes and and so is established like a [TS]

00:22:58   certain standard yeah well and the thing [TS]

00:23:01   is i can find many I can find you know I [TS]

00:23:03   know I got my other one [TS]

00:23:05   what about Carly Rae Jepsen and say ben [TS]

00:23:08   gibbard yeah haha i don't know what are [TS]

00:23:13   Carly Rae Jepsen is I keep seeing that [TS]

00:23:15   came and I could you mention that and I [TS]

00:23:18   googled it and I started playing her hit [TS]

00:23:20   song for my daughter and now she loves [TS]

00:23:22   it she wants the whole album [TS]

00:23:24   I feel like a Carly Rae Jepsen when I [TS]

00:23:26   when I hear that a hater nick name I [TS]

00:23:30   picture Punky Brewster my kind of sound [TS]

00:23:34   the same [TS]

00:23:35   yeah I picture somebody that's like [TS]

00:23:36   that's a little moon frye the play [TS]

00:23:39   trying years old [TS]

00:23:40   yeah I don't know but I did learn the [TS]

00:23:42   other day that the the woman who plays [TS]

00:23:44   the the blonde the narcissist on 30 rock [TS]

00:23:49   oh yeah Jenna you know she was the girl [TS]

00:23:52   with the side ponytail in National [TS]

00:23:55   Lampoon's Vacation my friend Michael [TS]

00:23:57   he's met one went on a date with her a [TS]

00:23:59   couple [TS]

00:23:59   months after that but yeah she lived in [TS]

00:24:02   New Jersey where he lived in a they went [TS]

00:24:04   to a carnival together and she was [TS]

00:24:05   already a movie star [TS]

00:24:07   well you know vacation you know yeah one [TS]

00:24:10   of the great films of the last 40 years [TS]

00:24:12   can help you with that Eddie please [TS]

00:24:14   remember her health her up real tomato [TS]

00:24:20   catch him nothing but the best Clark [TS]

00:24:22   I've never seen it [TS]

00:24:24   oh so the party's going to work with 140 [TS]

00:24:30   come on really [TS]

00:24:31   oh wow no no this is the beauty of [TS]

00:24:34   having cable basic cable plus showtime [TS]

00:24:38   and HBO is there are so many so I'm [TS]

00:24:40   coming back to something here is that [TS]

00:24:41   there's so many movies that i have seen [TS]

00:24:43   I saw stripes six times in a month and a [TS]

00:24:47   half and at that age when I had [TS]

00:24:49   retention I mean either still lines to [TS]

00:24:51   this day that are you know lighten up [TS]

00:24:53   francis like they're still lines from [TS]

00:24:54   the movie that are just you know it just [TS]

00:24:57   just implanted in my brain kids a little [TS]

00:25:00   younger than us had like a VHS player to [TS]

00:25:02   watch their favorite movie over and over [TS]

00:25:04   but you don't mean like for me like [TS]

00:25:05   sitting in the dark when I'm not [TS]

00:25:09   supposed to be watching TV like watching [TS]

00:25:10   escape from new york an alien like made [TS]

00:25:12   such an impression on me my god me too [TS]

00:25:14   and in spite of that fact i still i [TS]

00:25:18   could not even the first time through [TS]

00:25:19   could not stand the movie Porky's it was [TS]

00:25:23   so dumb pretty overrated i was just [TS]

00:25:25   watching it to see the shower shower [TS]

00:25:28   scene you but uh but even then even at [TS]

00:25:32   the impressionable age when I was the [TS]

00:25:34   target audience for that film it was too [TS]

00:25:36   dumb to dump to believe it's not a well [TS]

00:25:38   made movie [TS]

00:25:39   no I think it's done canada like you [TS]

00:25:41   well soon see that figures have said but [TS]

00:25:43   like you say I i watched stripes and [TS]

00:25:47   escape from new york and national [TS]

00:25:50   lampoon's vacation i would watch them [TS]

00:25:52   over and over and over and over [TS]

00:25:54   well you remember I mean until recently [TS]

00:25:56   you would still get this in hotel rooms [TS]

00:25:57   we get that little booklet like a little [TS]

00:25:59   bit like a three by five card that [TS]

00:26:01   little like shiny booklet with all like [TS]

00:26:02   what's on HBO at what times I think you [TS]

00:26:05   still get that in hotel rooms it's just [TS]

00:26:06   that you have no talent retention yeah [TS]

00:26:09   you no longer touch anything in your [TS]

00:26:10   hotel room so it's still there if you [TS]

00:26:12   were willing to put your hands on this [TS]

00:26:14   the spine is bent to cinemax after dark [TS]

00:26:17   I you know I was enough to tell not very [TS]

00:26:21   long ago and uh and I was a you know I [TS]

00:26:24   of course I put my remote in a plastic [TS]

00:26:25   bag that you did and then I'm sitting [TS]

00:26:28   and i'm scrolling through and I was like [TS]

00:26:29   you know what maybe I'm gonna lie i've [TS]

00:26:31   been through the channels 15 times [TS]

00:26:33   there's nothing on except like yeah II [TS]

00:26:36   entertainmenttelevision dubbed into [TS]

00:26:38   german and so I'm going to maybe i'll go [TS]

00:26:42   watch a first-run movie so I go over and [TS]

00:26:44   i'm scrolling through the the ads for [TS]

00:26:46   the first run movies I'm like now this [TS]

00:26:48   is garbage too and then i think maybe i [TS]

00:26:51   launched an adult movie like a so you [TS]

00:26:53   pay for it [TS]

00:26:54   yeah so I go over to the adult movie [TS]

00:26:56   menu and you and i'm scrolling through [TS]

00:27:00   and it's all the same stuff it's just [TS]

00:27:01   like yeah cheerleaders babysitter's [TS]

00:27:03   scroll Scroll scroll and then I realize [TS]

00:27:08   these fucking things are $25 yeah $25 to [TS]

00:27:13   watch an adult movie in the privacy of [TS]

00:27:15   your hotel room and it was like they're [TS]

00:27:17   not that good [TS]

00:27:18   $25 yeah $25 I could go down I could go [TS]

00:27:22   down to the nearest mcdonalds plus a [TS]

00:27:25   20-percent service charge give me I [TS]

00:27:27   could meet a couple I could meet a [TS]

00:27:29   couple of girls right for 25 bucks by [TS]

00:27:32   them both their dinner sitting up in a [TS]

00:27:35   motel paid $25 you know back in the old [TS]

00:27:38   days do with HBO you would you could [TS]

00:27:41   potentially see one of those porn movies [TS]

00:27:43   where all the good stuff had been edited [TS]

00:27:45   out [TS]

00:27:46   yes which is plenty for me is that right [TS]

00:27:50   you're certain you're pretty soft very [TS]

00:27:51   soft scale you know I freely I've really [TS]

00:27:54   gone off the rails in the last 30 years [TS]

00:27:55   but back then sure you're looking for me [TS]

00:27:58   man I i could break a pair of jeans with [TS]

00:28:01   ZZ Top video you know sort of salad days [TS]

00:28:04   when I was that when I was a teenager I [TS]

00:28:06   mean I i would get off looking at [TS]

00:28:08   looking at skiwear catalogs I'll of [TS]

00:28:12   cattle box know like oh my god that that [TS]

00:28:15   puffy jacket is son you know puffy [TS]

00:28:19   jackets are a thing [TS]

00:28:20   not recently i did not know this but [TS]

00:28:23   puffy jackets are somebody special thing [TS]

00:28:24   what you're saying it's a sex thing it's [TS]

00:28:26   a sexy thing yeah feat jackets jackets [TS]

00:28:29   yeah yeah um boy one time I said why are [TS]

00:28:34   we talking about this [TS]

00:28:35   I want to say probably about 1982 like [TS]

00:28:37   right right at the worst considerable [TS]

00:28:38   time somebody the this is back of course [TS]

00:28:42   when the postal service was was useful [TS]

00:28:44   and incompetent with the band [TS]

00:28:46   mhm yeah I like that new song by the way [TS]

00:28:48   you know there's no Melanie tell Marilyn [TS]

00:28:50   Monroe I like it [TS]

00:28:51   they're playing a bunch of shows they're [TS]

00:28:53   so good i went back to that record so [TS]

00:28:54   good ok this out [TS]

00:28:56   um I don't know how this happened [TS]

00:28:58   because remember male used to be like a [TS]

00:28:59   real thing you didn't get other people's [TS]

00:29:01   mail half of our mail at our house is [TS]

00:29:03   someone else's man which leads me to [TS]

00:29:05   believe you know is a good job very re [TS]

00:29:08   remember that movie you can always get a [TS]

00:29:10   job at the postal service [TS]

00:29:12   Oh was that it is not blowing your mind [TS]

00:29:15   bad as a pull quote well whatever you [TS]

00:29:19   know I'm gonna let that sit I'm gonna [TS]

00:29:20   let that sit like a search [TS]

00:29:21   there's always work at the postal [TS]

00:29:23   service they brought somebody else's [TS]

00:29:25   victoria's secret catalog to your house [TS]

00:29:28   you are home I'd never heard of Victoria [TS]

00:29:30   I didn't know what her secret was an [TS]

00:29:32   online hell was this one little pile of [TS]

00:29:35   shiny paper changed everything because [TS]

00:29:38   it's worried that you understand where [TS]

00:29:40   we're right we're right in the pocket [TS]

00:29:41   for like the ZZ Top era i'm pretty sure [TS]

00:29:45   that I got the first-ever victoria [TS]

00:29:48   secret channel it you got it bagged and [TS]

00:29:50   boarded you get outside the comment you [TS]

00:29:52   can you keep it somewhere special [TS]

00:29:54   Oh bagged and boarded i get that [TS]

00:29:55   reference yeah like they didn't want oh [TS]

00:29:57   no I don't have it now but when you're [TS]

00:30:00   saying that those go back to 83 I don't [TS]

00:30:01   think that's true yeah yeah i mean like [TS]

00:30:03   Victoria's Secret like was the thing in [TS]

00:30:05   malls by the time i was in college but [TS]

00:30:07   back then like you know what [TS]

00:30:10   years later I would acquire like a [TS]

00:30:12   fredericks of hollywood it was really [TS]

00:30:14   gross [TS]

00:30:15   it was obviously like like trailer-park [TS]

00:30:16   garter belts by the way those kids are [TS]

00:30:18   great and if you heard him right now [TS]

00:30:21   wave but at ya boy I just [TS]

00:30:24   I that was a very very special companion [TS]

00:30:27   for me [TS]

00:30:28   yeah the I knew what was on each page [TS]

00:30:30   I mean I can come up with like a running [TS]

00:30:32   order the early models in the Victoria's [TS]

00:30:35   Secret catalog oh this is another this [TS]

00:30:36   is part of the jamie lee curtis problem [TS]

00:30:38   yeah i'm not sure if i went back i'm not [TS]

00:30:41   sure if i went back and looked at an [TS]

00:30:43   early victoria secret whether it would [TS]

00:30:45   seem mundane to me at the time of course [TS]

00:30:47   it was like it was a blaze the trail [TS]

00:30:50   through the forest of my mind it was [TS]

00:30:52   like a mystic Manor it just showed up [TS]

00:30:55   there was a there was a there there [TS]

00:30:58   little really was a spot on the back [TS]

00:31:00   page of like some ski magazine there was [TS]

00:31:03   a an advertisement for obermeyer skiwear [TS]

00:31:07   I'm talking now same it's a mare 82 [TS]

00:31:10   maybe obermeyer and that it was a [TS]

00:31:14   picture of a girl wearing an over Meyer [TS]

00:31:16   ski jacket and she was so beautiful and [TS]

00:31:20   the idea that she was also a skier [TS]

00:31:24   really made a made a connection with me [TS]

00:31:29   because the skinny girls that I knew [TS]

00:31:31   that where skiers I mean most of the [TS]

00:31:33   people I knew who are scared for girls [TS]

00:31:34   because they were there and our ski club [TS]

00:31:37   via the girls team was very competitive [TS]

00:31:42   and a lot of the lot of the girls that I [TS]

00:31:46   was in love with as a teenager where [TS]

00:31:47   these these really mean mean rich ski [TS]

00:31:51   girls that's enough jackets puffy [TS]

00:31:54   jackets and they always had every season [TS]

00:31:55   they had brand new skis and brand new [TS]

00:31:59   polls brand new ski pants and I was kind [TS]

00:32:04   of like I was already so sort of you [TS]

00:32:08   know she lumpin my way through trying to [TS]

00:32:10   get by on some it's right so 33 year-old [TS]

00:32:13   so you know spider ski jacket with a [TS]

00:32:16   flight suit underneath it and and anyway [TS]

00:32:20   this obermeyer ski girl she looked out [TS]

00:32:23   of the back page of this ski magazine at [TS]

00:32:25   me with laser beam eyes and it was the [TS]

00:32:30   type of thing where I i seriously kept [TS]

00:32:32   at Ski Magazine like under my bed so [TS]

00:32:35   that i could just and I wasn't even it's [TS]

00:32:37   not like i was jacking off or anything i [TS]

00:32:39   would just take it out would take the [TS]

00:32:41   magazine out and I would just stare at [TS]

00:32:42   this picture [TS]

00:32:43   tender John for hours at a time and I [TS]

00:32:46   don't even think I was imagining [TS]

00:32:47   scenarios with her it's not like i was [TS]

00:32:50   saying and then we went to zermatt and [TS]

00:32:52   we were skiing on the piste like I was [TS]

00:32:55   just looking at her I was just looking [TS]

00:32:57   at her face for hours at a time [TS]

00:32:59   wondering what it was wondering you know [TS]

00:33:01   even you are working at a pretty high [TS]

00:33:03   level [TS]

00:33:04   well I was wondering i love with storage [TS]

00:33:06   on if we were ever going to meet in a [TS]

00:33:07   train station somewhere like and I'm not [TS]

00:33:11   sure I'm not sure if I could go back and [TS]

00:33:12   you know if I found that picture that [TS]

00:33:14   girl whether she was now she would [TS]

00:33:16   probably look like a teenage girl [TS]

00:33:17   because that's what she was but now you [TS]

00:33:19   you shouldn't you should let that be [TS]

00:33:21   special [TS]

00:33:22   you're really not every yeah I mean it's [TS]

00:33:25   a yeah you don't want to revisit that I [TS]

00:33:28   mean look what look what happened Jamie [TS]

00:33:29   Lee Curtis she's still a handsome woman [TS]

00:33:31   yeah that's true but he's not your [TS]

00:33:32   special thing not so special anymore i [TS]

00:33:35   wish i could have kept her and trading [TS]

00:33:36   places it once again trading places it [TS]

00:33:40   comes up [TS]

00:33:40   there's always work at the post office [TS]

00:33:42   Hollywood shuffle it is that rather [TS]

00:33:47   Robert Townsend maybe yes [TS]

00:33:49   remember remember the impact that film [TS]

00:33:52   had i but i don't think i've actually [TS]

00:33:54   side what really seriously yeah it was [TS]

00:33:58   good movie was around the time i was in [TS]

00:33:59   college was so I had a pretty uneven had [TS]

00:34:03   very uneven exposure to think there was [TS]

00:34:05   something that I was way way over [TS]

00:34:06   exposed to and then other things like he [TS]

00:34:09   was like about Star Trek Star Trek new [TS]

00:34:11   generation and you know as you know I'm [TS]

00:34:12   not like a big star trek fan so I didn't [TS]

00:34:15   make the time to seek it out and didn't [TS]

00:34:17   have it the country so you know what i [TS]

00:34:19   mean like i say it was just so many [TS]

00:34:20   things from that time that you know it's [TS]

00:34:23   just I i have this like black hole in my [TS]

00:34:26   memory for those things I should've seen [TS]

00:34:28   it that probably now he finds that on [TS]

00:34:29   his kind of credit cards i know it was [TS]

00:34:31   like it was like a as much stone it was [TS]

00:34:34   a touchdown it was a it was a earth [TS]

00:34:35   shatter a breaker [TS]

00:34:37   what's he doing now you think he's [TS]

00:34:38   working for the post office but i don't [TS]

00:34:39   know probably what are any of us doing [TS]

00:34:41   now that's a good point i watch the [TS]

00:34:43   beginning but that my point being that [TS]

00:34:45   one of those movies was a mission to the [TS]

00:34:47   program recently but Sigourney Weaver an [TS]

00:34:50   alien [TS]

00:34:50   that very very and it just a beginning [TS]

00:34:53   sorry for myself but beginning to end [TS]

00:34:55   and out standing movie I watched it the [TS]

00:34:57   three nights ago it's still so good but [TS]

00:35:01   then like Boise are in her underwear and [TS]

00:35:05   she was right in my wheelhouse is not [TS]

00:35:07   right [TS]

00:35:08   oh yes that's true you you do have a [TS]

00:35:10   Sigourney Weaver well in like another [TS]

00:35:13   program are watching now with that that [TS]

00:35:15   girl from Felicity she plays a russian [TS]

00:35:17   spy on this TV show we watch now and [TS]

00:35:20   she's just right in the pocket [TS]

00:35:23   yeah I don't have anything against you [TS]

00:35:25   know girls who look like women but but [TS]

00:35:28   but I i think i think i do like a like a [TS]

00:35:30   boyish pixie ish something [TS]

00:35:33   yeah I ipads ipods often ladies its [TS]

00:35:37   opponent was never I i am number two [TS]

00:35:40   she's hard she's hard that's right it's [TS]

00:35:43   hard without without being a break [TS]

00:35:45   she's hard and on her break what's a [TS]

00:35:47   canonical celebrity her break for you [TS]

00:35:49   like when you think about when you think [TS]

00:35:52   about what you're looking for assuming [TS]

00:35:54   that you know she could get the right [TS]

00:35:56   you know haircut and combat boots like [TS]

00:35:58   what give me a sense of if you're a [TS]

00:36:01   firefighter in the in the police station [TS]

00:36:04   and we had to draw a composite sketch of [TS]

00:36:06   your idea Lewis get my sense of how you [TS]

00:36:08   can tell you exactly and it happened and [TS]

00:36:10   it didn't actually you did you wouldn't [TS]

00:36:11   have to go [TS]

00:36:13   you would have to go far from a police [TS]

00:36:14   station because the archetype slice know [TS]

00:36:18   Jennifer Grey in ferris bueller's day [TS]

00:36:21   off if you've got to be kidding me no [TS]

00:36:24   are you kidding me she's the hottest of [TS]

00:36:26   the hottest at Sloan Jennifer Grey in [TS]

00:36:30   the police station with Charlie Sheen [TS]

00:36:33   with Charlie Sheen and he is flirting [TS]

00:36:36   with her just as she is not having it [TS]

00:36:38   but that feeling but then she she she [TS]

00:36:42   starts to melt [TS]

00:36:44   oh my god jennifer grey and then you [TS]

00:36:46   know of course when Jennifer Grey [TS]

00:36:48   appeared in dirty dancing movie i have [TS]

00:36:49   never seen I never seen all the way [TS]

00:36:51   through i started because i like Jerry [TS]

00:36:53   Orbach well I didn't even know he was in [TS]

00:36:55   it but I movie I've never seen but i [TS]

00:36:57   have watched the highlight reel of her [TS]

00:36:59   dancing [TS]

00:37:01   a few times because jennifer grey [TS]

00:37:04   jennifer grey jennifer grey prinos job [TS]

00:37:06   super foxy Jennifer great post nose job [TS]

00:37:10   one of those amazing situation she had [TS]

00:37:13   she had a chat and nose job and it is [TS]

00:37:16   like she disappeared from the earth she [TS]

00:37:19   she's up there for me in there's this [TS]

00:37:23   weird Venn diagram of people who had [TS]

00:37:25   like unimpeachably successful cosmetic [TS]

00:37:28   surgery and I'm actually look better or [TS]

00:37:31   worse but she looked I mean she didn't [TS]

00:37:33   look like she had plastic surgery if you [TS]

00:37:34   had no matter before a great job but [TS]

00:37:36   I've never i don't think i've seen many [TS]

00:37:38   people with successful plastic-surgery [TS]

00:37:40   that look more different and all the [TS]

00:37:42   changes her nose she was she really i [TS]

00:37:44   mean seriously when that happens and [TS]

00:37:46   people showing those photos like there's [TS]

00:37:48   no way there's no way that's the girl [TS]

00:37:49   from Ferris Bueller and you remember [TS]

00:37:51   shield her whole face completely [TS]

00:37:53   different [TS]

00:37:54   yeah she got a really great super [TS]

00:37:56   high-quality expensive professional nose [TS]

00:37:58   job and she became the plainest looking [TS]

00:38:01   Albia very pretty girl she looks like [TS]

00:38:05   the prettiest girl in like a like the [TS]

00:38:07   traffic traffic class like if you went [TS]

00:38:09   had to like work off a ticket by going [TS]

00:38:11   to traffic school and there's the girl [TS]

00:38:13   across the room and you'd be like oh [TS]

00:38:14   she's really wow she's she knows how to [TS]

00:38:16   speed [TS]

00:38:17   I'll try and sit by her butt but not [TS]

00:38:19   that she's a movie star anymore and I [TS]

00:38:21   don't know what you're actually going to [TS]

00:38:22   impugn jennifer grey either way I have [TS]

00:38:25   never met the woman but you know nice [TS]

00:38:28   lady [TS]

00:38:28   you know it's a lot like indie rock [TS]

00:38:30   people are always stampeding to get rid [TS]

00:38:32   of the thing they still haven't realized [TS]

00:38:34   makes them special [TS]

00:38:35   yeah you can people can't wait to get to [TS]

00:38:37   the middle of the curve at least in my [TS]

00:38:40   opinion you know what I mean like you [TS]

00:38:41   can't wait for people can't wait for us [TS]

00:38:43   to find somebody who will shave all of [TS]

00:38:46   the edges that made them interesting [TS]

00:38:47   that's why i religiously don't exercise [TS]

00:38:51   as they had the same conversation today [TS]

00:38:54   if I got to be super fit [TS]

00:38:57   I think I would lose a big part of what [TS]

00:38:59   makes me so cuddly and lovable [TS]

00:39:01   Oh John in so many ways I mean just [TS]

00:39:04   think about how much time you would lose [TS]

00:39:06   over your brooding and you're steaming [TS]

00:39:07   organizing you do a lot of organizing [TS]

00:39:10   and moving around right yeah yeah yeah [TS]

00:39:11   well if these men who spent three hours [TS]

00:39:13   a day at the gym that the [TS]

00:39:14   just gonna all go to shit here's the [TS]

00:39:16   thing about super-fit guys that I don't [TS]

00:39:18   quite understand this [TS]

00:39:20   why do they look so clammy like what I [TS]

00:39:24   mean like super fit guys all its it you [TS]

00:39:26   can towel them a thousand times and [TS]

00:39:29   never wipe the sweat all the way off [TS]

00:39:31   like they seem to have like some time [TS]

00:39:33   machine [TS]

00:39:34   yeah they seem clammy and like covered [TS]

00:39:36   with the kind of like greasy moisture [TS]

00:39:39   but but it's but they're dry like they [TS]

00:39:42   look like that even in a tuxedo [TS]

00:39:44   maybe it's endorphins endorphins make [TS]

00:39:46   you look make your skin look reason that [TS]

00:39:48   scientist John alright alright well see [TS]

00:39:51   that's what I don't want I don't want [TS]

00:39:52   now the natural sort of flat coloring [TS]

00:39:57   the natural dryness of my skin and I [TS]

00:39:59   mean okay with driving a step Rock flaky [TS]

00:40:02   like appealing lack of bc moisture on my [TS]

00:40:05   skin I don't want to sacrifice that just [TS]

00:40:07   kind of whitish sweater weather look [TS]

00:40:09   like somebody who's who's cheeks are [TS]

00:40:12   little pink from it's hard to tell [TS]

00:40:14   whether it's a cold wind or the gym [TS]

00:40:18   journalist the exhibit the exertion of [TS]

00:40:20   walking up a flight of stairs [TS]

00:40:23   yeah but I don't want to I don't want to [TS]

00:40:25   trade that in for some kind of like a [TS]

00:40:28   like Vaseline layer between me and the [TS]

00:40:32   world is that one of those body the [TS]

00:40:35   stages for you have one of those body [TS]

00:40:36   things like the Michael Jackson disease [TS]

00:40:38   where they think that looks good [TS]

00:40:39   they must not have any control over it [TS]

00:40:42   right but I mean maybe maybe they think [TS]

00:40:44   that's maybe something's happened to [TS]

00:40:46   their chemistry and they got that Karen [TS]

00:40:47   Carpenter thing and they think they look [TS]

00:40:48   at most looks good [TS]

00:40:50   yeah yeah I think that's it well I think [TS]

00:40:51   what happens is their skin becomes [TS]

00:40:53   translucent because like slightly [TS]

00:40:55   translucent because the pigment that [TS]

00:40:57   used to be a used to make their skin [TS]

00:41:00   like look solid who was redirected [TS]

00:41:05   somewhere to like to replace the [TS]

00:41:08   necessary facts that the various ya like [TS]

00:41:11   it like as their balls shrink up into [TS]

00:41:13   their body the pigment from their skin [TS]

00:41:15   when has to go down and fill them back [TS]

00:41:17   up [TS]

00:41:18   enough that you know that they don't [TS]

00:41:20   create like a like a problem imprint [TS]

00:41:23   impaction I can't believe you never went [TS]

00:41:25   to medical school it's astonishing [TS]

00:41:27   because i had coffee with the guy this [TS]

00:41:29   morning that I mostly just know from you [TS]

00:41:31   no internet stuff in really nice guy but [TS]

00:41:33   with with just a complete lack of irony [TS]

00:41:36   he asked me what kind of workout i do [TS]

00:41:38   what do you even lift a lift [TS]

00:41:42   well I I walk around the corner to my [TS]

00:41:44   office and sometimes then I walk home [TS]

00:41:47   and that's a pill [TS]

00:41:48   uh yeah now that I mean that's a city [TS]

00:41:50   block that's not even a small block [TS]

00:41:52   right given up the hill it's a hell of a [TS]

00:41:54   workout something that's a long walk [TS]

00:41:56   you got you got a blast effects or [TS]

00:41:58   something you're my favorite eighties [TS]

00:42:00   television personality i'm gonna i'm [TS]

00:42:03   gonna you were in college at this time I [TS]

00:42:05   don't know [TS]

00:42:06   no I'm sure I can phonetically follow [TS]

00:42:08   along but it was Kevin seal [TS]

00:42:11   oh sure that like yellow team stone on [TS]

00:42:14   MTV right [TS]

00:42:15   mtv in two hundred twenty minutes what [TS]

00:42:17   he did he did he did on in 20 minutes [TS]

00:42:19   he did a bit headbangers ball for a [TS]

00:42:21   while but he was MTV is like fun [TS]

00:42:25   stoned slacker vijay the first one that [TS]

00:42:29   wasn't the first one that wasn't like [TS]

00:42:31   some some radio DJ the day plucked and [TS]

00:42:36   made into a VJ really seem not like a [TS]

00:42:39   pro yeah he was a guy that they did a [TS]

00:42:41   Talent Search and he showed up and he [TS]

00:42:44   was like hey whats up guys [TS]

00:42:45   the that may said for whatever reason [TS]

00:42:48   this guy with the superstone dies is our [TS]

00:42:51   new Vijay and when he appeared on the [TS]

00:42:53   MTV tea but when he appeared on the [TS]

00:42:55   screen the first time I was sitting in [TS]

00:42:58   front of the you know sitting in my [TS]

00:43:00   lounge my Barcalounger completely baked [TS]

00:43:04   drinking Schmidt beer and this guy shows [TS]

00:43:08   up on the screen and it's like I'm [TS]

00:43:10   looking into a mirror [TS]

00:43:11   here's the guy that got the job that I [TS]

00:43:13   wanted to [TS]

00:43:14   and yet I couldn't hate him because he [TS]

00:43:17   was so amazing implicating yourself it [TS]

00:43:20   would be like hating the successful [TS]

00:43:22   version of yourself thoroughly like [TS]

00:43:23   hating myself and I watched you guys I [TS]

00:43:26   mean I got to the point where I had no [TS]

00:43:28   interest in watching MTV unless Kevin [TS]

00:43:30   seal was on and then i would just sit [TS]

00:43:32   and laugh and laugh and laugh at me and [TS]

00:43:36   I had such a different reaction may I [TS]

00:43:38   mean I didn't dislike him but like he [TS]

00:43:41   always seemed a little affected to me [TS]

00:43:43   yeah right effective because he was [TS]

00:43:44   baked in this formula Julia was that [TS]

00:43:47   really i'm pretty sure it was pretty big [TS]

00:43:51   I was baked and he seemed legit and yeah [TS]

00:43:53   we're when you're really baked you can [TS]

00:43:55   tell when somebody else's picture called [TS]

00:43:56   big baby daughter she got that yeah a [TS]

00:44:00   little shy one session was just rolling [TS]

00:44:03   on the floor everything everything out [TS]

00:44:05   of this guy's about one time he comes [TS]

00:44:06   home and he says he says you know Eddie [TS]

00:44:10   Van Halen and valerie bertinelli um you [TS]

00:44:14   know they've been married for like ten [TS]

00:44:15   years already and I'm trying to imagine [TS]

00:44:17   what they talked about and I just I just [TS]

00:44:20   picture them at home just going like [TS]

00:44:22   cuckoo cuckoo and he starts doing the [TS]

00:44:28   hand puppets of valerie bertinelli and [TS]

00:44:31   eddie van halen like cooing at each [TS]

00:44:33   other and I i actually feed and it was [TS]

00:44:39   and it might be because i was incredibly [TS]

00:44:42   bake [TS]

00:44:42   yeah i think that things he was speaking [TS]

00:44:44   a certain kind of truth to you he was [TS]

00:44:46   speaking he was speaking truth to power [TS]

00:44:48   and you know and he was cracking himself [TS]

00:44:52   up i wouldn't be surprised if he peed a [TS]

00:44:53   little [TS]

00:44:54   that was the heyday of television for me [TS]

00:44:56   yeah we can never go back to that now [TS]

00:44:58   let's see it now we're back and I mean [TS]

00:45:00   back in a warm pool of nostalgia [TS]

00:45:03   yeah you're you remember when nostalgia [TS]

00:45:04   really meant something yeah yeah yeah [TS]

00:45:07   y'all so nothing for Jamie Lee Curtis [TS]

00:45:14   she wants to make sure its children's [TS]

00:45:16   books now we've got one of her [TS]

00:45:17   children's books and feel like there's [TS]

00:45:19   there's something has been lost and it [TS]

00:45:21   and it happened in me it's not anything [TS]

00:45:23   it's not anything to do with Jamie Lee [TS]

00:45:24   fish called wanda still very much [TS]

00:45:27   very should watch that is it still good [TS]

00:45:29   all right well I imagine is good you [TS]

00:45:32   know the the the drama that john cleese [TS]

00:45:35   brings to the proceedings seriousness of [TS]

00:45:38   his character i think is the tent pole [TS]

00:45:41   that holds the whole thing up everybody [TS]

00:45:44   else is doing broad forest but he [TS]

00:45:47   pleases bringing real pay those I think [TS]

00:45:49   Kevin clients pretty creating that he's [TS]

00:45:51   amazing but it's not a subtle roll now [TS]

00:45:55   now it's very private very private john [TS]

00:45:57   cleese is such an interesting character [TS]

00:45:59   in general and you know he's become well [TS]

00:46:02   over the years I mean he's I feel [TS]

00:46:04   certain residents with him because he's [TS]

00:46:06   made his own career out of being broken [TS]

00:46:09   in public in some ways you know what I [TS]

00:46:11   mean I really admire the fact that he's [TS]

00:46:12   you know he's he's all I mean part of [TS]

00:46:15   what he brought the money Python was all [TS]

00:46:17   of this ridiculous rage yet you brought [TS]

00:46:19   so much rage you know but very smart [TS]

00:46:22   rage but and then by the time you get to [TS]

00:46:24   Fawlty Towers it's the time I mean you [TS]

00:46:27   know i guess i guess he went through a [TS]

00:46:29   lot of stuff and he got into therapy and [TS]

00:46:32   stuff and now he's kind of a big thinker [TS]

00:46:33   about this stuff but you know there's [TS]

00:46:36   there's something really resident about [TS]

00:46:38   his character in that movie you know [TS]

00:46:39   it's just it's weird to be such a [TS]

00:46:42   combination of like angry and you know [TS]

00:46:44   fawning click Lisa's one of those people [TS]

00:46:47   that that I feel like he's kinda like [TS]

00:46:51   Pete Townsend in the in the sense that [TS]

00:46:54   the first time I ever laid eyes on him [TS]

00:46:57   before he ever did a comedy like the [TS]

00:47:00   when he arrived on the screen the first [TS]

00:47:03   time I ever saw him he was the star of [TS]

00:47:05   the show to me and I loved him you know [TS]

00:47:09   like the first time I ever saw Pete [TS]

00:47:11   Townsend before i ever saw him do [TS]

00:47:13   anything he was the star of the [TS]

00:47:16   photograph and I knew that I loved him [TS]

00:47:19   and there are those people in the world [TS]

00:47:23   where you just you see them and you know [TS]

00:47:27   that they that they are the one you love [TS]

00:47:29   and you kind of follow them anywhere [TS]

00:47:31   like why would John Cleese in a cast of [TS]

00:47:34   geniuses like [TS]

00:47:36   like Python why is click the star and he [TS]

00:47:40   is you know police is the star in a in a [TS]

00:47:45   democracy of of geniuses and it's [TS]

00:47:50   because he has this like supernatural [TS]

00:47:54   power I remember when I was a little kid [TS]

00:47:58   my dad started a college in Alaska what [TS]

00:48:04   he started a college for native guys [TS]

00:48:09   like Eskimo guys who were at the time [TS]

00:48:14   kind of being underserved by the [TS]

00:48:17   university of alaska and my dad started [TS]

00:48:19   this this can t Qing it was like it like [TS]

00:48:24   a teacher's college called the Pacific [TS]

00:48:27   Rim it not university but like it was [TS]

00:48:32   called pacific rim and it was a he [TS]

00:48:36   rented classrooms at alaska pacific [TS]

00:48:38   university and he was giving he had [TS]

00:48:41   hired teachers I mean I was like six [TS]

00:48:44   years old five years old and barely [TS]

00:48:46   remember what he was doing and then and [TS]

00:48:48   now looking back at it I cannot imagine [TS]

00:48:50   what he thought he was doing but he had [TS]

00:48:52   these classrooms full of guys in and [TS]

00:48:55   that work you know they were that was a [TS]

00:48:57   time in Alaska when a lot of young guys [TS]

00:48:59   were coming to Anchorage from the [TS]

00:49:01   villages and they they were having a [TS]

00:49:05   hard time coping with city life and my [TS]

00:49:07   dad had this idea he was going to start [TS]

00:49:09   this school I remember walking into a [TS]

00:49:13   classroom one time and they were like 40 [TS]

00:49:15   guys in there they're all between the [TS]

00:49:18   ages of like 17 and 24 and they were all [TS]

00:49:22   Native Alaskans [TS]

00:49:25   and they were in this class and somebody [TS]

00:49:27   was lecturing them about you know how to [TS]

00:49:30   make some make the transition i remember [TS]

00:49:34   what that what the class was about but I [TS]

00:49:35   walked in and I was a little little [TS]

00:49:38   teeny kid and there was a guy in the [TS]

00:49:41   middle of the room just sitting in a [TS]

00:49:43   desk like any one of the 40 guys and I [TS]

00:49:47   just went to him and he was he was just [TS]

00:49:52   a young guy like any other and he was [TS]

00:49:54   kind of like oh hey kid you know and and [TS]

00:49:56   everybody laughed like a little blonde [TS]

00:49:59   boy just kind of walked across the room [TS]

00:50:03   beeline for this guy and I stood I [TS]

00:50:07   stayed with him all day and my dad was [TS]

00:50:10   off doing stuff and he didn't know you [TS]

00:50:12   know he was just like okay well I guess [TS]

00:50:14   you're watching the kid [TS]

00:50:15   well I go do whatever it is I'm gonna go [TS]

00:50:18   do you have to my dad probably left [TS]

00:50:20   campus and went on a date but I spent I [TS]

00:50:23   spent all day a just like glued to this [TS]

00:50:27   guy and my sister was with me and chief [TS]

00:50:30   she was there with like the two of us [TS]

00:50:32   and she was for the two of us were just [TS]

00:50:36   glued to this guy and at the end of the [TS]

00:50:39   day when it was time to for a time for [TS]

00:50:42   him to go like they had to pry us away [TS]

00:50:45   from him and it's not that he ever said [TS]

00:50:46   anything to us he did not back into us [TS]

00:50:49   it was just that this guy was we knew [TS]

00:50:52   when walking in the room i still [TS]

00:50:54   remember the feeling that he was up that [TS]

00:50:58   he was a kind of royalty [TS]

00:51:01   he was a prince and I wanted to be I [TS]

00:51:06   wanted to be with him I wanted to follow [TS]

00:51:08   him and and he was a deal was just a [TS]

00:51:11   dumb teenager like his reaction to us [TS]

00:51:13   was like huh [TS]

00:51:14   I don't know what this is all about I [TS]

00:51:16   don't know what these kids want but he [TS]

00:51:18   was kind to us all day [TS]

00:51:20   it's just that we knew that he was [TS]

00:51:23   somebody special and I don't know [TS]

00:51:28   ever happened to him but uh but every [TS]

00:51:31   once in awhile in life you see these [TS]

00:51:33   people these magic people think John [TS]

00:51:35   places one where it she and he walked [TS]

00:51:41   onto the set and it was just like the [TS]

00:51:44   star right you know and and I think he's [TS]

00:51:48   I think he's born that out right [TS]

00:51:50   yeah and I mean I grew up thinking about [TS]

00:51:54   what you said that cuz I just definitely [TS]

00:51:55   people like that in my own life where [TS]

00:51:57   for reasons I cannot explain it was not [TS]

00:52:00   it was not sexually was not intellectual [TS]

00:52:02   it was not familial for no reason that I [TS]

00:52:05   can quite put my finger on there were [TS]

00:52:08   certain people that I was just I was [TS]

00:52:10   incredibly IC attracted to but you know [TS]

00:52:12   what i mean like magnetized to that I [TS]

00:52:14   just want to be around all the time [TS]

00:52:16   yeah like I want a piece of you go on a [TS]

00:52:19   piece of whatever your thing is you know [TS]

00:52:20   kid karisma maybe one way anything but I [TS]

00:52:24   mean I I don't even remember I mean I'm [TS]

00:52:26   obviously I'm trying to recall something [TS]

00:52:28   that happened to me when I was five but [TS]

00:52:29   i don't remember this guy particularly [TS]

00:52:31   doing anything was executed for he says [TS]

00:52:34   that he's a teenager it sounds like you [TS]

00:52:35   know it wasn't like he was smooth or [TS]

00:52:37   anything no I mean he had had it was the [TS]

00:52:40   early seventies so he had kinda long [TS]

00:52:42   black hair and he was wearing an army [TS]

00:52:45   jacket but but half the guys in the room [TS]

00:52:48   met description it was just that he was [TS]

00:52:51   like you said he was magnetic in some [TS]

00:52:53   way that at that young age I had no [TS]

00:52:56   filter had no social filter that kept me [TS]

00:53:00   from just saying oh well that's the guy [TS]

00:53:02   want to stand next to and you know you [TS]

00:53:05   think about all the social mean half of [TS]

00:53:07   half of growing up is learning to [TS]

00:53:09   implement social filters that keep you [TS]

00:53:12   from making that terrible tragic error [TS]

00:53:15   later in life [TS]

00:53:16   okay here like walking up to something [TS]

00:53:18   like can I help you [TS]

00:53:19   oh uh yeah I yeah I just wanted to come [TS]

00:53:26   stand by you don't really know why that [TS]

00:53:28   is a life you know just sit here all day [TS]

00:53:30   is obsession we're gonna do you think [TS]

00:53:32   it's alright it's not sexual learn [TS]

00:53:34   things that the sexual or just met [TS]

00:53:36   magnetic this is that there's a little [TS]

00:53:38   boy like that at my daughter school who [TS]

00:53:40   I mean it goes beyond a crush like his [TS]

00:53:43   feelings for my daughter are on like [TS]

00:53:44   this other level and it's it's really [TS]

00:53:47   weird like he always wants to like we're [TS]

00:53:49   getting ready to go he went to like [TS]

00:53:50   bring her things and talk about our [TS]

00:53:52   house he sees an adopted kid from from [TS]

00:53:55   china is like to learn English in like [TS]

00:53:56   the last nine months like amazingly fast [TS]

00:53:58   he's a fantastic like smart swell little [TS]

00:54:01   kid and like he just cannot get enough [TS]

00:54:04   of my daughter you know what i mean but [TS]

00:54:06   I there's been so many people in my life [TS]

00:54:08   like that you know and you you can't [TS]

00:54:10   explain it and you look back and like [TS]

00:54:11   right now I can hear you almost kind of [TS]

00:54:12   struggling to describe from hearing [TS]

00:54:15   right struggling to describe what it [TS]

00:54:17   could possibly have been about this [TS]

00:54:19   person [TS]

00:54:19   yeah you found some magnetic yeah and [TS]

00:54:21   and what's what's what's astonishing is [TS]

00:54:23   that it's entirely possible that he went [TS]

00:54:26   back to his village and got a job [TS]

00:54:27   pumping gas at the airport and now he is [TS]

00:54:30   60 years old he's lucky he's lucky he's [TS]

00:54:37   six years old and easy might be sitting [TS]

00:54:39   on an overturned Apple crate watching [TS]

00:54:41   rachel maddow on a on a settlement TV [TS]

00:54:44   like it's not necessarily so that [TS]

00:54:47   anything amazing happened to this guy [TS]

00:54:49   right there that he became like the [TS]

00:54:51   leader of his people or anything he [TS]

00:54:52   could just be a god [TS]

00:54:54   yeah that's the thing it isn't like I've [TS]

00:54:56   met famous people and it isn't that [TS]

00:54:59   often that you meet somebody and they [TS]

00:55:01   really are just a completely [TS]

00:55:02   incandescent personality i know that [TS]

00:55:05   there are people like that although [TS]

00:55:06   Barbarino Barbarino had that effect [TS]

00:55:10   right the first time [TS]

00:55:11   welcome back kotter came on and i was [TS]

00:55:13   obvious and it scanned the cameras scan [TS]

00:55:15   of the room you're like who's the Goomba [TS]

00:55:17   I like Ron Palillo and Robert edges [TS]

00:55:21   where we're definitely disappear actors [TS]

00:55:23   question you can tell they came from [TS]

00:55:24   like a like Shakespeare background [TS]

00:55:25   interactive absolutely hundred percent [TS]

00:55:27   uh huh [TS]

00:55:28   Shakespeare Shakespeare actors channel [TS]

00:55:31   numbers that show dragged on way too [TS]

00:55:33   long and and and then Barbarino left and [TS]

00:55:36   they brought in that one guy who was [TS]

00:55:38   always the replacement guy on TV shows [TS]

00:55:40   he didn't have his on happy days [TS]

00:55:41   the blond guy Skippy or whatever and [TS]

00:55:44   you're not the one of the big glasses uh [TS]

00:55:46   little kid that it showed up on happy [TS]

00:55:49   days [TS]

00:55:49   no no scrappy-doo yeah I think cousin [TS]

00:55:53   Oliver [TS]

00:55:54   a caller ya cousin Oliver yeah where [TS]

00:55:56   does about Colby cousin Oliver showed up [TS]

00:55:58   on happy days right yeah of course he [TS]

00:56:00   did robbie rist retired punk rocker now [TS]

00:56:04   where they're shown set in 1954 suddenly [TS]

00:56:06   had a kid with the John Denver haircut [TS]

00:56:08   and like point extra class alright let [TS]

00:56:10   me start over [TS]

00:56:11   um but good remember there's a very like [TS]

00:56:14   a very special episode about her shack [TS]

00:56:16   one ever was i don't think it was [TS]

00:56:18   something about her just me all all very [TS]

00:56:21   special episodes go through different [TS]

00:56:24   strokes but always back to all in the [TS]

00:56:26   family so I can't remember if it's like [TS]

00:56:29   menopause or or rape or race but it was [TS]

00:56:33   something there's something with Paula [TS]

00:56:35   Trump allows character they were they [TS]

00:56:38   explored Shakespearean background book [TS]

00:56:42   see I don't need a Soviet the station [TS]

00:56:45   gentle his condition thought the funds [TS]

00:56:47   is another one like I'm really notice [TS]

00:56:50   where I cannot return in my mind to a [TS]

00:56:53   time when the funds i cannot remember i [TS]

00:56:56   cannot get back into the headspace where [TS]

00:56:59   the funds was the coolest thing in the [TS]

00:57:02   universe because i have i have enough [TS]

00:57:05   exposure to Henry Winkler and what I [TS]

00:57:07   like like a soft like a sauce [TS]

00:57:11   starting with the michael keaton movie [TS]

00:57:13   but the night shift [TS]

00:57:15   oh god no how about this you remember [TS]

00:57:17   when Diane was on there what's her name [TS]

00:57:19   Sally Struthers Johnny Martin what's [TS]

00:57:21   your home like oh yeah I am a doctor but [TS]

00:57:23   yea shoes is pretty cute in that mija [TS]

00:57:26   again but against small cup little boy [TS]

00:57:30   top but I was I was dunno you know who [TS]

00:57:33   you know who is another one of my TV [TS]

00:57:34   hotties Markie Post i'll come on i care [TS]

00:57:37   i wrote I wrote night one of my very [TS]

00:57:39   first song I ever wrote had Markie Post [TS]

00:57:42   in it [TS]

00:57:42   okay yeah a little poser is political [TS]

00:57:46   song it was it was it was about the [TS]

00:57:49   apparent differences between us and the [TS]

00:57:51   Soviets well your songs have a lot of [TS]

00:57:53   lyrics in them is very political John if [TS]

00:57:55   you're looking to squeeze Markie Post [TS]

00:57:57   into there was a kind of Russians love [TS]

00:57:59   their children to know there was very [TS]

00:58:02   little yoga or Tantrism it was but it [TS]

00:58:04   was a it was a you [TS]

00:58:05   not Dylan ripoff but it was one of those [TS]

00:58:07   kind of like you know simple dessert [TS]

00:58:10   every kind of Paul Simon ish you have to [TS]

00:58:13   like listen songs you know i do any [TS]

00:58:15   market post yeah no no back to Night [TS]

00:58:18   Court when you're not my quilt but uh [TS]

00:58:19   was denied a nation that shift [TS]

00:58:23   yeah when that movie came out it was [TS]

00:58:25   really the first film Henry Winkler was [TS]

00:58:27   going to do after every shot graphical [TS]

00:58:29   know he'd been in the one where he was a [TS]

00:58:32   pro wrestler with a worm farm because i [TS]

00:58:33   called the world's biggest loser what [TS]

00:58:35   was that one movie remember that one is [TS]

00:58:36   big like well of course Lords of [TS]

00:58:38   Flatbush so as you know the Flatbush in [TS]

00:58:41   1974 with it so that her sir [TS]

00:58:46   no he wasn't Lords of Flatbush remember [TS]

00:58:49   i still remember the TV at the logs up [TS]

00:58:51   that package that posh posh PG cutting [TS]

00:58:58   all this out lawyer big square pegs said [TS]

00:59:01   we're square pegs that was a good show [TS]

00:59:05   right now boy that she had she had a [TS]

00:59:07   serious proportionally giant nose at [TS]

00:59:09   that time did I thought she was totally [TS]

00:59:13   cute i found her very attractive to [TS]

00:59:16   thank you and tell them you felt totally [TS]

00:59:18   different head lots of flowers little [TS]

00:59:20   differently her head [TS]

00:59:21   i Henry England's 1974 and that's kind [TS]

00:59:24   of where they came up with the funny [TS]

00:59:25   character which as you know in season [TS]

00:59:27   one was going to be this kind of minor [TS]

00:59:29   character people loved him so much etc [TS]

00:59:31   but Henry Winkler sport I'm so sorry we [TS]

00:59:34   know I but always came about my eye i [TS]

00:59:38   just recently tweeted a little thing [TS]

00:59:40   about pinky Tuscadero oh my god and her [TS]

00:59:43   sister leather leather together in the [TS]

00:59:45   states from other than what I what I [TS]

00:59:47   discovered through the miracle of [TS]

00:59:48   crowdsourcing because I was like [TS]

00:59:50   whatever happened to picu Tuscadero that [TS]

00:59:51   was a that was a pre models in your [TS]

00:59:54   Larry King spits it was great [TS]

00:59:54   Larry King spits it was great [TS]

01:00:00   listen maybe later I'll get it give me a [TS]

01:00:02   minute what's the name of that but [TS]

01:00:03   through the miracle of crowdsourcing you [TS]

01:00:05   go people told me the whole story you [TS]

01:00:08   know is she paralyzed [TS]

01:00:10   no is it an undecided go to verify my [TS]

01:00:15   thought is another side of the mountain [TS]

01:00:17   thing like she got the matcha crunch and [TS]

01:00:18   now she's in a chair [TS]

01:00:20   no it was a it was a situation where [TS]

01:00:22   they loved that the audience response [TS]

01:00:24   was so positive to pinky Tuscadero that [TS]

01:00:26   they they they were going to make her a [TS]

01:00:30   major character in the next season and [TS]

01:00:32   all the promo ads in the offseason for [TS]

01:00:36   the upcoming season of happy days they [TS]

01:00:38   were really selling pinky Tuscadero well [TS]

01:00:40   she's in all the ads and she's going to [TS]

01:00:42   be a big part of the show you want more [TS]

01:00:43   money [TS]

01:00:44   no it turned out nobody liked her aight [TS]

01:00:46   anything couldn't stand by the cast [TS]

01:00:49   couldn't get along with the cast and the [TS]

01:00:50   director she was like she was she was [TS]

01:00:53   hard to get along with and so they wrote [TS]

01:00:56   her out of the show and apparently more [TS]

01:00:58   very recently she like she got sentenced [TS]

01:01:01   sent to jail because she she fired a [TS]

01:01:04   shotgun into her neighbors she I guess [TS]

01:01:08   she her neighbor's car alarm was going [TS]

01:01:10   off she probably has her reasons she [TS]

01:01:11   fired a shotgun [TS]

01:01:13   she shot her neighbors called pinky [TS]

01:01:14   testing here I'm big it doesn't fucking [TS]

01:01:16   there now see the poor thing now that's [TS]

01:01:18   our file card on her like that was a [TS]

01:01:20   thing she did for a few months in the [TS]

01:01:21   seventies [TS]

01:01:22   yeah but but that's something that's [TS]

01:01:24   because you don't don't you feel lucky [TS]

01:01:26   that there was that there was no YouTube [TS]

01:01:27   then I mean like that that poor lady she [TS]

01:01:30   got lucky enough Garry Marshall like [TS]

01:01:31   said hey put this lady on the show let's [TS]

01:01:33   bring her in [TS]

01:01:33   yeah and and now she's pinky Tuscadero [TS]

01:01:35   well but but but the thing that really [TS]

01:01:37   resonated with me was that at that stage [TS]

01:01:41   in her life how old she must've been 23 [TS]

01:01:44   she gets she gets cast in the role of [TS]

01:01:47   the tough girl in the in the pink satin [TS]

01:01:50   jacket on the number one TV show in the [TS]

01:01:53   country and for whatever reason either [TS]

01:01:55   she's a little crazy or she doesn't [TS]

01:01:57   understand how the world works and I've [TS]

01:01:58   seen this happen a million times [TS]

01:02:01   she doesn't understand how the world [TS]

01:02:02   works and she acts bigger than her [TS]

01:02:07   actual station you know she I'm sure she [TS]

01:02:10   was she was being lame around the cast [TS]

01:02:15   and she didn't realize that she wasn't a [TS]

01:02:18   big star yet and that it was not [TS]

01:02:20   appropriate for her to be a jerk and she [TS]

01:02:27   blew it and she got written out of the [TS]

01:02:29   show right-handed pinch forever after [TS]

01:02:31   she's a footnote and you know and you [TS]

01:02:34   think about like this person at 23 years [TS]

01:02:36   old making what at i mean i can i can [TS]

01:02:41   put myself back in my 23-year old mind [TS]

01:02:43   and recall a time when I thought that [TS]

01:02:45   success meant that I would be able to be [TS]

01:02:49   a jerk to people and no one could be mad [TS]

01:02:52   at me because I was successful [TS]

01:02:53   like I legitimately suffered through a [TS]

01:02:56   long period of feeling like the the [TS]

01:02:58   reason to get successful but then you [TS]

01:03:00   would not have to be nice but that was [TS]

01:03:04   that was the only appeal it was not [TS]

01:03:05   money it was nice to him on the way up [TS]

01:03:07   because you're gonna meet again when [TS]

01:03:09   you're on the way down [TS]

01:03:10   yeah and i would rather hear those at [TS]

01:03:11   people would say things like that to me [TS]

01:03:13   and I'd be like that's just because you [TS]

01:03:14   know you're not famous enough yet you [TS]

01:03:16   don't know Marlon Brando didn't have to [TS]

01:03:17   be nice to anybody right well you know [TS]

01:03:19   it's not like Robert De Niro has to be [TS]

01:03:21   nice to anybody almost there up [TS]

01:03:24   apparently the narrow is nice to people [TS]

01:03:27   although God knows why I think he's a [TS]

01:03:30   little goofy probably well okay 10 and [TS]

01:03:32   it was it was only it was only after [TS]

01:03:34   many many years of not being successful [TS]

01:03:36   then I realized that I needed to learn [TS]

01:03:37   to be nice to people just out of this [TS]

01:03:39   kind of a recent variation that's a [TS]

01:03:41   fairly recent thing for you isn't it [TS]

01:03:43   well last 10 years i was 30 years old [TS]

01:03:45   and still not entirely convinced that i [TS]

01:03:47   needed to be nice to people you want [TS]

01:03:49   that nice when I met you [TS]

01:03:50   well you know long as I have known you [TS]

01:03:53   would let me just get a 69 now to 69 [TS]

01:03:59   years old so how old was she in 1975 I [TS]

01:04:03   can't do the math me neither [TS]

01:04:04   she's born 43 so she would have been 32 [TS]

01:04:07   something like that is the picture on [TS]

01:04:10   her i'm sorry i did i did look at [TS]

01:04:11   wikipedia [TS]

01:04:12   picture for with the henry winkler 1976 [TS]

01:04:15   I'm sorry you have heard me make a [TS]

01:04:17   little noise a couple minutes ago [TS]

01:04:19   let me see if i can find this on october [TS]

01:04:21   twenty seven two thousand she was [TS]

01:04:23   sentenced to 120 days in jail after [TS]

01:04:25   pleading no contest to charges stemming [TS]

01:04:27   from an August 22,000 arrest for hitting [TS]

01:04:30   a man with her cane haha thinking mr. [TS]

01:04:34   Garrow that's it for example can I [TS]

01:04:37   wonder if it's a sword came but listen [TS]

01:04:41   if anybody's listening to this program [TS]

01:04:42   and you want to get me a gift sword cane [TS]

01:04:45   yeah yeah yeah yeah I worry about these [TS]

01:04:53   things I worry about the determination [TS]

01:04:55   all of these things John I i was [TS]

01:04:57   thinking I was thinking I was thinking [TS]

01:04:58   of an event not that long ago where I [TS]

01:05:01   was mean to somebody and I was like I [TS]

01:05:04   was mean to somebody i'm still being [TS]

01:05:06   mean to people how have I not how I know [TS]

01:05:11   John everybody's mean sometimes I guess [TS]

01:05:13   don't you think [TS]

01:05:14   well but it now you're not made of stone [TS]

01:05:17   you have bad days I suppose I'm trying [TS]

01:05:20   to stop being mean you know one thing [TS]

01:05:21   trying so hard but one of the things [TS]

01:05:23   I've learned from jonathan coulton who [TS]

01:05:25   is never mean to anybody's a pussy [TS]

01:05:29   well see that's the problem you think a [TS]

01:05:32   lot of that well-known a good way [TS]

01:05:34   because i have accused him of being a [TS]

01:05:36   pussy and you know what he says he's [TS]

01:05:37   like yeah maybe I'm like that's the [TS]

01:05:40   pussiest thing is that what how can you [TS]

01:05:42   sit here and take this is like whoa whoa [TS]

01:05:44   don't care of you came up maybe i'll be [TS]

01:05:46   in my bunk but but but but everybody [TS]

01:05:49   loves him and and he's a genuinely nice [TS]

01:05:52   and thoughtful guy not thoughtful isn't [TS]

01:05:54   like he gives you greeting cards but he [TS]

01:05:55   thinks a lot he does think of when you [TS]

01:05:58   ask him a question he very rarely unless [TS]

01:06:00   he's trying to to like make a joke [TS]

01:06:02   Jonathan will never of his own accord [TS]

01:06:04   just shoot an answer to be fast [TS]

01:06:06   you almost always kind of make a face [TS]

01:06:08   and look up at the sky and think it's [TS]

01:06:09   true i really admire that [TS]

01:06:11   but you know he talked about somebody [TS]

01:06:13   who has who has formed a cult around [TS]

01:06:15   himself [TS]

01:06:16   yeah which I have to say is not my goal [TS]

01:06:18   is not my end goal that is not why I'm [TS]

01:06:21   saying this but he has really more love [TS]

01:06:23   to have [TS]

01:06:24   cult around no no no no that the people [TS]

01:06:27   that terrified me the most of the ones [TS]

01:06:28   that agree with me [TS]

01:06:29   how about if you could have a Collins [TS]

01:06:31   and Darrell you but if you could have a [TS]

01:06:32   color you get the hand tech who is in [TS]

01:06:34   your cult but you have to vet them [TS]

01:06:36   because probably the cult is you don't [TS]

01:06:38   get to pick right he is the problem the [TS]

01:06:41   mob [TS]

01:06:41   you know i mean the mob because this one [TS]

01:06:43   mind but if you if you have you got like [TS]

01:06:45   five minutes with somebody to decide if [TS]

01:06:46   they could be in your cult I I am I am [TS]

01:06:50   embarrassed to say that one of my [TS]

01:06:51   long-standing fantasies and this goes [TS]

01:06:54   all the way back to seventh grade when I [TS]

01:06:55   should have been at a part of a forest [TS]

01:06:58   service trail building program but [TS]

01:07:00   instead was it wendler junior high [TS]

01:07:02   school in anchorage alaska and forced to [TS]

01:07:05   sit in a room with a bunch of other like [TS]

01:07:07   pimply-faced shitbirds all of us will [TS]

01:07:11   just go back to your bedroom and [TS]

01:07:14   fantasize about yeah we're walking we [TS]

01:07:16   all had we all had 10 our boners and [TS]

01:07:19   we're sitting in this classroom being [TS]

01:07:20   taught algebra and it was during this [TS]

01:07:23   point in time that I developed the [TS]

01:07:28   technology of imagining that I could [TS]

01:07:30   stop time because i was i was sitting in [TS]

01:07:35   algebra class and I had three [TS]

01:07:37   conflicting desires all of them and I [TS]

01:07:41   remember thinking about this long and in [TS]

01:07:45   a detailed fashion at the time I had [TS]

01:07:47   three desires and they were all equal i [TS]

01:07:51   could not prioritize one desire over the [TS]

01:07:53   other and the three desires were a that [TS]

01:07:58   I wanted to go to sleep I wanted to go [TS]

01:08:01   back to sleep because I was very very [TS]

01:08:05   tired had been forced to get up in the [TS]

01:08:08   morning [TS]

01:08:08   this is just a regular this is this is [TS]

01:08:10   not ranked you're just starting [TS]

01:08:11   practices that he wanted 1i am one of [TS]

01:08:14   any of them was you want to go to sleep [TS]

01:08:16   I wanted to go back to sleep i did not [TS]

01:08:18   want to get up in the morning I did not [TS]

01:08:19   want to go to school I was forced to do [TS]

01:08:21   these things and now i'm sitting in [TS]

01:08:22   school and I just want to go back to [TS]

01:08:24   sleep so that is desire one and if I [TS]

01:08:26   could stop time the first thing I would [TS]

01:08:30   do is go to sleep time would be stopped [TS]

01:08:34   so there would be no penalty is so [TS]

01:08:36   practical I would sleep until i was done [TS]

01:08:38   sleeping and then i would wake up and I [TS]

01:08:40   would end I would have lost nothing [TS]

01:08:43   the second thing the second thing I [TS]

01:08:46   wanted was to see naked girls and if I [TS]

01:08:53   could stop time i would first go to [TS]

01:08:56   sleep and then this was my plan in [TS]

01:09:00   seventh grade I would go through the [TS]

01:09:03   whole school everybody would be frozen [TS]

01:09:05   and I would move i think with a dolly [TS]

01:09:11   sure I would move all the pretty girls [TS]

01:09:16   that I wanted to see make it i would [TS]

01:09:19   move them all to the gym and then I [TS]

01:09:23   would that I would take off their [TS]

01:09:26   clothes and I would see them naked and [TS]

01:09:27   type time is still frozen in time is [TS]

01:09:29   frozen [TS]

01:09:30   ok so i would have time to put their [TS]

01:09:31   clothes back martyr who delivered them [TS]

01:09:33   back to their classrooms with the be a [TS]

01:09:35   dollar whatever method I mean let's be [TS]

01:09:36   honest I mean this might this might take [TS]

01:09:38   four or five days to register and try to [TS]

01:09:42   get them all the way back in like with [TS]

01:09:43   the pencil in their hand every time will [TS]

01:09:44   stop so and this was a long time before [TS]

01:09:48   it occurred to me that I would ever [TS]

01:09:50   actually have sex i had no interest in I [TS]

01:09:52   did not understand how it well you [TS]

01:09:55   certainly couldn't have sex with [TS]

01:09:56   somebody without their consent so that [TS]

01:09:58   was off the table [TS]

01:09:59   I just wanted to see them without their [TS]

01:10:00   clothes on it was a simple it was a [TS]

01:10:03   simple man doesn't seem that complicated [TS]

01:10:05   it wouldn't it wasn't that complicated [TS]

01:10:06   and if I edit if I could go back in time [TS]

01:10:08   and talk to myself that I would say hey [TS]

01:10:10   listen there's a better way to do this [TS]

01:10:12   then stopping time and moving them all [TS]

01:10:15   to the gym but it may take you a couple [TS]

01:10:17   of tries [TS]

01:10:19   I can't wait for three number three was [TS]

01:10:25   that had I will I wanted chocolate chip [TS]

01:10:30   cookie [TS]

01:10:34   and no particular order all all three [TS]

01:10:40   designers were equal but I but after i [TS]

01:10:43   had slept and I just seeing all these [TS]

01:10:46   girls naked [TS]

01:10:48   uh-huh then I could eat i could find and [TS]

01:10:52   eat as many chocolate chip cookies at [TS]

01:10:55   one time to stop that was gonna stop you [TS]

01:10:57   I'm it stopped and then i would start [TS]

01:11:00   time again and no one no one would [TS]

01:11:03   notice the girls might feel like why are [TS]

01:11:05   my pants on backwards that's a result of [TS]

01:11:08   course all the cookies and web my leg [TS]

01:11:09   warmers and Ron somewhere somewhere in [TS]

01:11:11   the town there would be some like like [TS]

01:11:14   large woman in a chef's hat that was [TS]

01:11:16   like what we're all the cookies go [TS]

01:11:18   replace John Rutter looks arrested but [TS]

01:11:21   but that was how that was how I was [TS]

01:11:23   going to use the most powerful powerball [TS]

01:11:25   you shouldn't you should have been [TS]

01:11:28   building trail really i had no business [TS]

01:11:30   being with you and being really worn out [TS]

01:11:32   by the end of the day [TS]

01:11:34   yeah you know you want you mind if I you [TS]

01:11:36   might have had that dream but you [TS]

01:11:37   wouldn't have remembered it because you [TS]

01:11:38   would have Treasury you know what you're [TS]

01:11:39   going to get good sleep when you cut [TS]

01:11:40   trail [TS]

01:11:41   let's be honest yeah you want to do when [TS]

01:11:43   you want my other day dream in that same [TS]

01:11:46   era was that the Russians invaded and [TS]

01:11:50   that all the sudden we looked out of [TS]

01:11:51   their classrooms and the and the the gym [TS]

01:11:55   was full of like paratroopers allow red [TS]

01:11:58   dawn [TS]

01:11:59   although this cluster at done although [TS]

01:12:00   this fantasy was a long time before red [TS]

01:12:02   dawn I think I'd be a welder who danced [TS]

01:12:04   haha no I had I had presage to the I [TS]

01:12:10   provisions the 0 is your IP that was [TS]

01:12:14   that you can help with that because we [TS]

01:12:15   were in Alaska with the Russians were [TS]

01:12:17   like well the Cold War here they came [TS]

01:12:19   that you are right there you you guys [TS]

01:12:21   for the front yard of america that's [TS]

01:12:23   right and I imagine that the arms full [TS]

01:12:25   of paratroopers and then all the kids [TS]

01:12:27   got up and started screaming we all ran [TS]

01:12:29   again to the gym because that's where [TS]

01:12:31   you went and in my fantasy I was put in [TS]

01:12:36   charge because I was [TS]

01:12:39   the Civil Air Patrol had the training [TS]

01:12:42   and i have the training you you'd help [TS]

01:12:45   like direct parking at likes counting [TS]

01:12:47   the hours that I that I would you know [TS]

01:12:49   that i would i would form the students [TS]

01:12:52   into into troops we're doing very well [TS]

01:12:56   be a very brief training session because [TS]

01:12:58   the Russians would be in the parking lot [TS]

01:12:59   but we would mount a defense but you [TS]

01:13:03   would have time to get them basic if you [TS]

01:13:05   like marching orders and then give them [TS]

01:13:06   the appropriate amount of encouragement [TS]

01:13:08   and direction so that they could go and [TS]

01:13:11   fight back that the Reds right but [TS]

01:13:14   officially but you would you would know [TS]

01:13:15   you would know in that moment other [TS]

01:13:17   people are losing their heads but she [TS]

01:13:18   would have the focus to know how to [TS]

01:13:21   bring this trips together even those [TS]

01:13:22   those those young scrappy unseasoned [TS]

01:13:24   troops [TS]

01:13:25   yeah I have the training and also most [TS]

01:13:27   of the time i was wearing a flight suit [TS]

01:13:29   on the move and yet here we are again [TS]

01:13:33   you're like a kind of spider-man 2 here [TS]

01:13:35   and really always ready and and you know [TS]

01:13:39   and I feel like I feel like by hook or [TS]

01:13:41   by crook the long way around now Merlin [TS]

01:13:45   you and I are our we're actually in a [TS]

01:13:48   position where we have a high school gym [TS]

01:13:50   full of confused students and we have [TS]

01:13:56   the opportunity and a few brief moments [TS]

01:13:58   every week to form them into hardened [TS]

01:14:01   shock troops to defend not against [TS]

01:14:05   Russian paratroopers but against Snorks [TS]

01:14:09   what is that the candy normals oh god [TS]

01:14:15   you've been preparing your whole life [TS]

01:14:16   for this moment there's so many [TS]

01:14:18   scenarios that you have gone through in [TS]

01:14:20   your head you know i'm sitting around [TS]

01:14:22   looking at garter belts and you're [TS]

01:14:23   figuring out how we're gonna beat the [TS]

01:14:25   Russians yeah i just gotta have wasted [TS]

01:14:29   so many fantasies I just got a text from [TS]

01:14:31   a friend who is at a local option down [TS]

01:14:35   in renton and his text just says you [TS]

01:14:38   missed the guns who so bright and early [TS]

01:14:41   light by the black people moved right oh [TS]

01:14:44   well among other things written is the [TS]

01:14:46   town to the south where all you're [TS]

01:14:49   suggesting that I think the way that's [TS]

01:14:51   where a lot of people who can [TS]

01:14:52   pushed out like rising prices they [TS]

01:14:54   couldn't keep up with the property taxes [TS]

01:14:56   they got a ring [TS]

01:14:57   yes that's correct the guns they left [TS]

01:15:01   guns the town that that our town made it [TS]

01:15:04   used to be used to be a town that a [TS]

01:15:05   drugstore and hardware store and now [TS]

01:15:08   it's just a town it's just one of those [TS]

01:15:11   guys think ahh yes that's selling John [TS]

01:15:12   Mellencamp salons [TS]

01:15:13   yeah there's there's like a remote [TS]

01:15:15   there's rrc modeling store on Main [TS]

01:15:20   Street though you know what I mean like [TS]

01:15:22   if an RC modeling store is on Main [TS]

01:15:25   Street [TS]

01:15:25   yeah it opens up at the old mall on the [TS]

01:15:27   outskirts of town that's your town is [TS]

01:15:29   dead [TS]

01:15:29   yeah Wow chocolate chip cookies [TS]

01:15:35   that's right up there and I swear to you [TS]

01:15:37   right now if there was a there was a [TS]

01:15:39   naked girl sitting on my couch and a bag [TS]

01:15:41   of freshly baked chocolate chip cookies [TS]

01:15:43   i would still be torn but you stopped [TS]

01:15:46   time you don't have to choose you know [TS]

01:15:48   what I think I think right now I would [TS]

01:15:50   probably go to sleep first [TS]

01:15:54   really grown [TS]