Roderick on the Line

Ep. 61: "Neighborhood Stick Fight"


00:00:00   hello John [TS]

00:00:09   I Merlin bit how I certainly hits rin [TS]

00:00:17   now it's early huh [TS]

00:00:20   I drove all night hmm address just be [TS]

00:00:24   here with me [TS]

00:00:24   yeah i did i did i was in Portland I [TS]

00:00:28   last night at like 130 in the morning i [TS]

00:00:30   drove home and it was little we used for [TS]

00:00:34   how long a drive is that remind me [TS]

00:00:36   that's three hour drive is better but it [TS]

00:00:39   was a rainstorm and I haven't really [TS]

00:00:41   been to sleep [TS]

00:00:42   oh no I'm sorry we'll listen we'll look [TS]

00:00:44   we'll keep this will keep the shirt i [TS]

00:00:45   preciate you know it's great i I've got [TS]

00:00:48   to get Ted Nugent's wango tango going in [TS]

00:00:51   my head on purpose [TS]

00:00:53   no just popped in there i just started I [TS]

00:00:56   just started going the Maserati dates a [TS]

00:00:58   Maserati a he's got a he's got a flare [TS]

00:01:01   for a hook he does he does not have a [TS]

00:01:05   lyric writing flare [TS]

00:01:07   it's free for all because he's a fucking [TS]

00:01:09   idiot [TS]

00:01:10   yeah he's he's gotten by on the strength [TS]

00:01:13   for a pretty long time you know he's [TS]

00:01:15   gotten by on the fact that his guitar [TS]

00:01:17   can shoot the balls off the rhinoceros [TS]

00:01:18   and 250 yards [TS]

00:01:20   mmm he seems like he's got a lot to [TS]

00:01:22   prove meanly to himself [TS]

00:01:24   yeah he's a guy he's a guy that needs a [TS]

00:01:27   punch in the nose and my punch in the [TS]

00:01:29   nose I mean crossbow cross-border the [TS]

00:01:32   Nets a crossbow bolt to the notes [TS]

00:01:34   yeah he's one of those guys like I don't [TS]

00:01:37   know a lot about him i know he had some [TS]

00:01:39   role in that awesome during the journey [TS]

00:01:41   to the center of your mind song when he [TS]

00:01:43   was yes like 12 [TS]

00:01:45   yeah he got as he became the legal [TS]

00:01:48   guardian of his teenage girlfriend all [TS]

00:01:50   that sweet now he is that where he lived [TS]

00:01:53   you know get something that is not to [TS]

00:01:55   date no like Michigan or upstate [TS]

00:01:57   somewhere some Midwestern upstate place [TS]

00:02:00   mhm but he had he had some girlfriend it [TS]

00:02:02   was like 13 and he went to her parents [TS]

00:02:07   and he said listen this is gonna go one [TS]

00:02:09   of a couple of ways [TS]

00:02:10   well I think you should just make me her [TS]

00:02:12   legal guardian [TS]

00:02:13   what really yeah and the activity [TS]

00:02:16   acquiesced yeah and then he just he was [TS]

00:02:19   just walking around with this little [TS]

00:02:21   really teenage girlfriend like not like [TS]

00:02:24   like a little teen aged she was not a [TS]

00:02:26   little teenage she was fully teenaged [TS]

00:02:28   she was 100% early teens man it was the [TS]

00:02:35   seventies you could do a lot of okc [TS]

00:02:38   chips are they still together to [TS]

00:02:40   knowledge they were together for a long [TS]

00:02:42   time it was a Mary Kay Letourneau [TS]

00:02:43   situation where where when the when the [TS]

00:02:47   young person became of when she gained [TS]

00:02:50   her majority as we say they stayed [TS]

00:02:54   together whether or not happily or [TS]

00:02:57   whether it was a change in the basement [TS]

00:02:59   situation i can say they never invited [TS]

00:03:01   me over you know if you if you go and [TS]

00:03:04   you're gonna go I don't know you know [TS]

00:03:06   talk to Talia or something you know I [TS]

00:03:09   mean if somebody walks in and smiles and [TS]

00:03:12   puts a sidearm on the table it changes [TS]

00:03:14   the conversation I just think being in a [TS]

00:03:16   and upstate home filled with weapons [TS]

00:03:19   will over time change your perception of [TS]

00:03:22   what's okay you're going to get a little [TS]

00:03:24   bit of the Stockholm Syndrome I believe [TS]

00:03:26   that's terrific phrase yeah I've had [TS]

00:03:29   that I went into a room one time and I [TS]

00:03:32   got put a gun on the table and let me [TS]

00:03:34   tell you Merlin it did change that the [TS]

00:03:37   tenor of the conversation your man who [TS]

00:03:38   knows what a gun can do well I don't [TS]

00:03:42   have I have never been shot [TS]

00:03:43   yeah but I mean you take it seems to me [TS]

00:03:46   like like my late father who is a [TS]

00:03:47   sportsman and taught gun safety glasses [TS]

00:03:51   he was an Eagle Scout like he was a real [TS]

00:03:53   outdoorsy guy he's from the generation [TS]

00:03:55   when you would be in the NRA because he [TS]

00:03:58   didn't want people to die [TS]

00:03:59   you know you have the energy generated [TS]

00:04:01   was the organization yeah it's funny was [TS]

00:04:04   a funny time and 60 was also inducted [TS]

00:04:05   unlimited which is about keeping the [TS]

00:04:08   early conservation group in a lot of [TS]

00:04:09   ways because so that you can still shoot [TS]

00:04:11   the Ducks you want the text to die you [TS]

00:04:12   want to keep you want to keep nature so [TS]

00:04:14   that their duck so that you can shoot [TS]

00:04:16   them the Republicans to be good guys you [TS]

00:04:18   know [TS]

00:04:19   ok so I'm saying is it strikes me that [TS]

00:04:21   you're a man who's seen you you're [TS]

00:04:22   familiar again this is like this is like [TS]

00:04:24   the guy that there will be consequences [TS]

00:04:26   guy [TS]

00:04:27   like he's never gotten a really serious [TS]

00:04:29   punch in the nose and so he he talks [TS]

00:04:31   about consequences without really [TS]

00:04:33   understanding what that means right and [TS]

00:04:34   you you understand somebody puts a i'm [TS]

00:04:37   guessing a pistol on the table there was [TS]

00:04:38   a pistol yeah but you know how I was at [TS]

00:04:42   a bar one time with a good friend of [TS]

00:04:44   mine who was he was one of the he's one [TS]

00:04:49   of those guys that works the crab boats [TS]

00:04:50   like you see on the television and this [TS]

00:04:54   was in the heyday of the crabbing era in [TS]

00:04:56   Alaska where I 18 year old guy could [TS]

00:04:59   make fifty thousand dollars in three [TS]

00:05:00   months and I talked about this where you [TS]

00:05:03   could be like just a kid and come and [TS]

00:05:05   get paid cash you know [TS]

00:05:07   yeah justjust crazy amounts of money and [TS]

00:05:08   then we went to a bar one time and he [TS]

00:05:10   asked my sister to dance and and they [TS]

00:05:15   danced for a little bit up kind of close [TS]

00:05:16   to the stage and there was a band [TS]

00:05:18   there's a band playing kind of you know [TS]

00:05:19   reggae ska whatever and at a certain [TS]

00:05:22   point he he like he realized that he [TS]

00:05:24   couldn't dance as well as he wanted to [TS]

00:05:28   with the gun tucked in the waistband of [TS]

00:05:30   his pants so he took the gun out and he [TS]

00:05:33   put it on the stage so that he can dance [TS]

00:05:37   with my sister better you're just gonna [TS]

00:05:39   like tucked it tucked it behind the [TS]

00:05:41   monitors on the stage so that like he's [TS]

00:05:43   taking off a heavy coat [TS]

00:05:45   yeah it was just like oh man this thing [TS]

00:05:46   is going to slide down in my underwear [TS]

00:05:47   when you're in crab country you're [TS]

00:05:50   dancing with the lady and you want to [TS]

00:05:51   have a little more freedom of movement [TS]

00:05:52   you take your pick out your pistol in [TS]

00:05:54   your player on the stage that do you get [TS]

00:05:57   a that's just kind of thing that happens [TS]

00:05:58   there [TS]

00:06:00   I i was gonna sort of that the Jackpine [TS]

00:06:02   i was in the bar the time and it did not [TS]

00:06:06   escape notice i think the band was a [TS]

00:06:08   little bit freaked out and then what [TS]

00:06:10   they think of that keeps going away my [TS]

00:06:13   sister thought it was hilarious I mean [TS]

00:06:15   this is a good this is a good buddy of [TS]

00:06:16   mine who who just was suffering through [TS]

00:06:18   a period which in his case lasted 15 [TS]

00:06:21   years a period of compromise judgment it [TS]

00:06:26   was a 15-year long period where he had [TS]

00:06:29   no judgment of any kind and this was a [TS]

00:06:31   butBut confusingly or maybe I mean maybe [TS]

00:06:34   this says more about Alaska in the [TS]

00:06:36   eighties then then [TS]

00:06:38   it says maybe all you need to say about [TS]

00:06:41   Alaska in the eighties but he was not [TS]

00:06:42   expelled from the bar know what he did [TS]

00:06:44   not the song did not stop and I think he [TS]

00:06:48   finished they finished dancing and he [TS]

00:06:50   put the gun back in his pants and and [TS]

00:06:52   the night went on like there was not [TS]

00:06:54   like he skipped out on his tab [TS]

00:06:56   yeah it wasn't it wasn't like a needle [TS]

00:06:58   across a record situation it was like [TS]

00:06:59   the thing about life John is that you i [TS]

00:07:02   think one thing that is a problem for [TS]

00:07:04   people is that they understand or they [TS]

00:07:08   think they understand their world and [TS]

00:07:10   they have observed or constructed a [TS]

00:07:13   bunch of perhaps real were often [TS]

00:07:15   make-believe rules about how things [TS]

00:07:17   could go and when things diverge from [TS]

00:07:19   that is when they get super freaky and [TS]

00:07:21   that's why these people are super freaky [TS]

00:07:22   a lot it's like people who think it's [TS]

00:07:24   safe to drive 19 miles per hour on a [TS]

00:07:26   highway that is about that you know what [TS]

00:07:29   if everybody's driving 90 you're not [TS]

00:07:31   being safe [TS]

00:07:32   I've been dealing with those people for [TS]

00:07:34   the last 16 hours because now it's been [TS]

00:07:36   it's raining like crazy up here [TS]

00:07:38   seattle drivers are already terrible the [TS]

00:07:41   rain is not a thing we're on accustomed [TS]

00:07:43   to but when it really starts coming down [TS]

00:07:44   we just what people get into this mode [TS]

00:07:47   of like the safest lame to be in is the [TS]

00:07:49   fast lane and the safest speed is 40 [TS]

00:07:52   miles an hour [TS]

00:07:53   uh-huh it's like neither one of those [TS]

00:07:55   statements is true the safest lane for [TS]

00:07:58   you to be in is your driveway with the [TS]

00:08:00   engine off huh [TS]

00:08:01   and so I'm driving you know I'm trying [TS]

00:08:04   to just get around town and it is a [TS]

00:08:07   hydroplaning situation cars are [TS]

00:08:08   hydroplanes it so it is as it is at [TS]

00:08:11   least in Florida if it didn't rain for a [TS]

00:08:13   while when a very first range it would [TS]

00:08:14   kind of I don't know likely to the oil [TS]

00:08:16   out of the road and everything that [TS]

00:08:17   extra crazy there's that but there's [TS]

00:08:19   also just straight-up 4 inches water on [TS]

00:08:21   the roads Oh so-so cars are it's [TS]

00:08:24   definitely a squirrely situation but [TS]

00:08:26   when your car hydroplanes you do not [TS]

00:08:29   it's the same rules that we have [TS]

00:08:31   discussed many times you do not touch [TS]

00:08:32   the brakes you do not you do not panic [TS]

00:08:36   you do not champion don't panic and [TS]

00:08:38   don't start scaring all over the place [TS]

00:08:39   yeah you just keep keep driving keep [TS]

00:08:41   keep going [TS]

00:08:43   it's fine you're you're fine you know [TS]

00:08:45   but but no one seems to get that and [TS]

00:08:47   it's just all all day long all these [TS]

00:08:49   people that should have just stayed home [TS]

00:08:50   if you can't [TS]

00:08:51   if you can't get to where you're going [TS]

00:08:54   safely just stay home take a day off [TS]

00:08:56   from work [TS]

00:08:57   watch TV mhm make some nachos but [TS]

00:09:01   they're out imperiling people almost [TS]

00:09:04   makes you wish there were like a a [TS]

00:09:06   second a junior highway and we devised [TS]

00:09:08   an hour whomever had a lot of [TS]

00:09:10   forethought you know frontage road [TS]

00:09:12   you're saying yeah well you know how [TS]

00:09:14   like sometimes you have a service road [TS]

00:09:16   yeah an extra mostly runs alongside the [TS]

00:09:19   highway [TS]

00:09:19   maybe those people that could be like [TS]

00:09:21   that kind of a pop version of the [TS]

00:09:22   highway driving where they can just kind [TS]

00:09:24   of get acquainted you hit between [TS]

00:09:25   Lincoln's legs and try not to include [TS]

00:09:27   here's the problem with that now and [TS]

00:09:29   we've seen this at the TSA in airports [TS]

00:09:33   where they say okay this is the green [TS]

00:09:34   lane the Greenland is for people who [TS]

00:09:36   have never left the house before the [TS]

00:09:38   green lane is for people who you know [TS]

00:09:40   who had a frontal lobotomy or have 14 [TS]

00:09:43   kids or who are escorting which kid is [TS]

00:09:46   carrying a quart of water [TS]

00:09:48   Oh escorting like 30 grandmother's on [TS]

00:09:51   their first trip from Singapore here's [TS]

00:09:54   the green lane you go there then the [TS]

00:09:55   blue lane is for people who are just [TS]

00:09:58   like generally competent people they [TS]

00:10:00   have been on an airplane before but [TS]

00:10:02   maybe they don't know where their keys [TS]

00:10:03   are and then there's the black diamond [TS]

00:10:06   lane for people who have who traveled [TS]

00:10:09   with no luggage always mad and [TS]

00:10:11   everybody's ready [TS]

00:10:12   they're fucking ninjas they are CIA [TS]

00:10:14   agents and they are groc stars and they [TS]

00:10:17   are moving moving moving and then so tsa [TS]

00:10:20   sets this up and then they do not a [TS]

00:10:22   point the simple person to stand at the [TS]

00:10:25   head of the line and say i miss you are [TS]

00:10:27   not a black diamond traveler let's be [TS]

00:10:29   honest [TS]

00:10:30   let us move over here into this air let [TS]

00:10:32   the black the black diamond people all [TS]

00:10:34   have a look on their face like they have [TS]

00:10:37   a look on that I'm that guy you know you [TS]

00:10:39   know meet John I am NOT by and large a [TS]

00:10:40   competitive person but I am I become [TS]

00:10:42   extremely competitive mostly with myself [TS]

00:10:45   in that in that line I went three years [TS]

00:10:47   without causing a beep and then I not [TS]

00:10:49   only here's the thing [TS]

00:10:50   not only do I not inconvenience others [TS]

00:10:53   not only do I grabbed extra extra crates [TS]

00:10:55   and have ready for everybody i know to [TS]

00:10:57   move keep everything moving moving [TS]

00:10:58   moving keep moving forward from there to [TS]

00:11:01   help out i'm throwing a line and I man i [TS]

00:11:03   got I the tiger in that [TS]

00:11:04   fine yeah I don't even use a bit anymore [TS]

00:11:07   I walk up I throw my keys through the [TS]

00:11:11   x-ray machine i stand at one and i hook [TS]

00:11:14   him and then I'm through the fucking [TS]

00:11:17   thing before you know they don't even [TS]

00:11:19   they don't wave me like me like the [TS]

00:11:20   Death Star you get this a little just [TS]

00:11:22   it's an almost impossible shot and [TS]

00:11:24   somehow it goes clean through and then [TS]

00:11:26   I'm I'm been through the metal detectors [TS]

00:11:29   right forget their anniversaries are mad [TS]

00:11:30   and you're like oh my god you actually [TS]

00:11:32   get this guy I picked the pocket of the [TS]

00:11:34   guy whose job it is to wave you through [TS]

00:11:36   I've got his wallet in my hand [TS]

00:11:38   even this one I've got I've got four [TS]

00:11:40   passports I'm like get the fuck out of [TS]

00:11:42   my way and then you know and then right [TS]

00:11:44   in front of me there's four there's 14 [TS]

00:11:46   grandmother's from Singapore have never [TS]

00:11:47   been on an airplane before and they're [TS]

00:11:49   all bringing holy water from Lourdes [TS]

00:11:51   either you know and it's just like give [TS]

00:11:54   me the front so anyway we would build a [TS]

00:11:55   highway system like junior high way over [TS]

00:11:58   to the side but then the tea party would [TS]

00:12:02   have some referendum that reduces that [TS]

00:12:04   you know the that the taxes on car tabs [TS]

00:12:07   so that we can't afford to have that guy [TS]

00:12:09   in a booth was like you sir are not eat [TS]

00:12:13   you sir you with the Maserati you can [TS]

00:12:16   drive the normal freeway you my friend [TS]

00:12:19   in your in your volvo volvo sedan not [TS]

00:12:23   even a station wagon 4-door sedan you [TS]

00:12:26   are on the Iran the junior highway but [TS]

00:12:28   no there would not be that person [TS]

00:12:30   okay first of all I would like to [TS]

00:12:32   rescind that suggestion because it's [TS]

00:12:33   stupid and costly and it's anti super [TS]

00:12:36   super train in every meaningful way so [TS]

00:12:38   how about this instead here's my [TS]

00:12:39   thinking this is something that I [TS]

00:12:41   ruminate upon a lot which is this whole [TS]

00:12:44   notion in Colorado a million different [TS]

00:12:46   things you know past is prologue [TS]

00:12:48   yesterday's weather we can tell a lot [TS]

00:12:50   about what you will do in the future [TS]

00:12:52   based on what you have or have not done [TS]

00:12:54   in the past this is something i nearly [TS]

00:12:57   obsess over his people thinking you know [TS]

00:12:59   like in your case for example you got [TS]

00:13:01   somebody goes oh like in my head and I'm [TS]

00:13:03   an angry guy with no penis and like I've [TS]

00:13:06   imagined myself being in a lot of fights [TS]

00:13:08   so naturally I assumed that I would be [TS]

00:13:10   great in a fight but that guys never [TS]

00:13:12   been punched in the nose [TS]

00:13:13   that is not a black diamond lane guy [TS]

00:13:15   right [TS]

00:13:17   you're talking about a lot of guys in [TS]

00:13:18   tracksuits in the united kingdom right [TS]

00:13:20   haha instead of shaped heads they're [TS]

00:13:26   wearing tracksuit tracksuits check seats [TS]

00:13:28   that they called Chad's i think i dont [TS]

00:13:30   thats hanging on but you know I think [TS]

00:13:32   tracksuits denote different things in [TS]

00:13:34   different places even within the state [TS]

00:13:35   of New York here's my right here's my [TS]

00:13:37   thinking okay um it is it is farcical to [TS]

00:13:40   me how many things you just get to do [TS]

00:13:42   with just a basic just the most basic [TS]

00:13:46   testing or or approval [TS]

00:13:48   like for example but like let's say I'm [TS]

00:13:50   trying to get a good example [TS]

00:13:51   mountain-climbing martial arts you know [TS]

00:13:55   it to some extent so I don't force this [TS]

00:13:57   was skiing but I mean and when you go [TS]

00:13:59   into martial arts if you're coming from [TS]

00:14:00   another dojo and you say hey listen you [TS]

00:14:02   know I I'm a green belt in Taekwondo [TS]

00:14:05   they're not going to put you up against [TS]

00:14:07   a four-year-old or chuck norris because [TS]

00:14:10   that's not an appropriate match up [TS]

00:14:11   you're gonna have to show okay well [TS]

00:14:12   let's show me some of your moves and [TS]

00:14:14   i'll tell you what belt you got here's [TS]

00:14:16   what I'm thinking here's the problem [TS]

00:14:17   all of the money that we have poured [TS]

00:14:19   that we have literally poured into the [TS]

00:14:21   TSA there's a lot of thinking on the [TS]

00:14:24   front end and not a lot of thinking on [TS]

00:14:25   the back end it's all hell breaks loose [TS]

00:14:27   once you get past that area [TS]

00:14:29   everybody's running around with their [TS]

00:14:30   belts and shoes sitting down there [TS]

00:14:31   confused there should be someone they're [TS]

00:14:34   grading them and that should go on to [TS]

00:14:36   some kind of a permanent record i want [TS]

00:14:37   to tell Therrien I don't want to pop but [TS]

00:14:39   I'm just saying so you go through then [TS]

00:14:41   you say give me an idea you kind of belt [TS]

00:14:43   are you and you're getting through hear [TS]

00:14:45   you say well i think i think i'm pretty [TS]

00:14:46   good if it takes you 45 minutes and you [TS]

00:14:48   had seen your gunpowder you know what [TS]

00:14:50   next time next time going to be a [TS]

00:14:52   different Lane no you know what happens [TS]

00:14:54   at the end of that they bend you over [TS]

00:14:56   and they give you a tattoo a tattoo they [TS]

00:14:59   give you a little tattoo and it's not it [TS]

00:15:00   i'm not saying like a number on the arm [TS]

00:15:02   is it doesn't remove like the room for [TS]

00:15:05   improvement in the future I'm saying [TS]

00:15:06   it's like it's like the way we great [TS]

00:15:08   beef ru choice [TS]

00:15:11   are u prime who are you shot phony phony [TS]

00:15:16   baloney Angus copay is generated Chuck I [TS]

00:15:19   don't know I the lower grades i'm not [TS]

00:15:21   exactly sure what they are like diamonds [TS]

00:15:22   it's a black are all that stuff and a [TS]

00:15:24   lot of it's just BS you know the code [TS]

00:15:26   baby things a pajama that's not a real [TS]

00:15:28   thing right [TS]

00:15:28   you know that the kobe don't get me [TS]

00:15:30   started [TS]

00:15:30   Kobe beef isn't it is it like copper [TS]

00:15:33   river salmon where it's really a thing [TS]

00:15:34   it's just not the thing that makeup tool [TS]

00:15:36   you literally don't get me started on [TS]

00:15:38   this all the places you go and say what [TS]

00:15:39   you like what the kobe beef bangers [TS]

00:15:41   whatever would you like a little the [TS]

00:15:43   shooter slider and from there okay first [TS]

00:15:46   of all that's not cool baby like Kobe [TS]

00:15:47   beef every piece of the fucking beef has [TS]

00:15:50   a god damn i forgot i was gonna quit [TS]

00:15:52   cursing huh on all might be a curse jar [TS]

00:15:56   mm I'm trying to stop anyway mr. on the [TS]

00:15:59   thing and the throat order in every time [TS]

00:16:00   I need a big jar [TS]

00:16:02   I'm trying to stop anyway point being [TS]

00:16:04   every piece of beef [TS]

00:16:06   it's a long story but basically there's [TS]

00:16:07   a serial number for all Kobe beef and [TS]

00:16:10   and there are not air enough air quotes [TS]

00:16:12   they're literally can only be cool baby [TS]

00:16:14   this is beyond champagne right now I now [TS]

00:16:17   i want some Kobe beef I don't believe [TS]

00:16:19   I've ever had and you go most places [TS]

00:16:20   increasingly the places were being [TS]

00:16:22   straight up with you will say Colbie [TS]

00:16:23   style beef itself means they put some [TS]

00:16:26   sugar water on it [TS]

00:16:27   think of it this way if you go through [TS]

00:16:29   with your with your passport or whatever [TS]

00:16:31   in and they stamp it right there still [TS]

00:16:33   there's lots more pages in there you [TS]

00:16:35   think about something like like like a [TS]

00:16:37   report card you think about a GPA I [TS]

00:16:39   think there should be a way you can [TS]

00:16:41   bring your grade up your mind if you got [TS]

00:16:43   if you got straight apps a black diamond [TS]

00:16:45   lane you're not gonna you're not gonna [TS]

00:16:47   come you you know what you gotta move [TS]

00:16:48   you gotta move to a different Lane I [TS]

00:16:50   just love the idea of tattooing people [TS]

00:16:51   because I mean I just I i feel like the [TS]

00:16:53   next step is just hurting them into a [TS]

00:16:55   soylent green machine that is efficient [TS]

00:16:59   I feel like I you know this is the [TS]

00:17:01   problem this is why Hitler and stuff is [TS]

00:17:03   such a popular part of our podcast [TS]

00:17:05   because I believe that you are kind of [TS]

00:17:08   new genesis and I am just a totalitarian [TS]

00:17:10   like basically if you want to have a [TS]

00:17:16   healthy genocide of maniac [TS]

00:17:18   well you're not maniacal John you have [TS]

00:17:20   if your days i'm a calm i'm a calm [TS]

00:17:23   germicidal thing is you is the thing is [TS]

00:17:26   to have a cardiopulmonary system me [TS]

00:17:28   pulmonary any car do you need a heart [TS]

00:17:30   and lungs [TS]

00:17:31   you can't have them it's scary if you're [TS]

00:17:32   going to if you're going to have a [TS]

00:17:33   genocide of maniac you're gonna want a [TS]

00:17:34   eugenicist right next to him at the [TS]

00:17:36   right slot made with very small glasses [TS]

00:17:38   natalina to lean over to lean over and [TS]

00:17:41   whisper in my ear [TS]

00:17:42   that's not two tattoos [TS]

00:17:43   kind of a passport thing and then I go [TS]

00:17:45   all right right so check out that you [TS]

00:17:48   kind of already been done [TS]

00:17:49   yeah right okay alright passport been [TS]

00:17:51   good and good but I just shut but you [TS]

00:17:53   have to show that passport all I'm [TS]

00:17:55   trying to say is like I i would fail in [TS]

00:17:58   most meritocracy sees but the fact that [TS]

00:18:00   I accept my place in the meritocracy [TS]

00:18:02   makes me better than almost everyone i [TS]

00:18:04   understand that like when I'm with my [TS]

00:18:06   kid even though it drives me bananas and [TS]

00:18:08   I make her be as good at line as I am [TS]

00:18:11   nobody's good at line anymore and you [TS]

00:18:13   want a child that's good at line we go [TS]

00:18:14   into the into the you know that the [TS]

00:18:17   stupid family lane but because you know [TS]

00:18:19   because I'm a gentleman that's what i'm [TS]

00:18:20   gonna do i'm going to go there but you [TS]

00:18:22   know the fact is there's nobody i'm [TS]

00:18:24   saying is there's nobody there is [TS]

00:18:25   verifying the anybody deserved to be [TS]

00:18:27   there in the first place [TS]

00:18:28   I just know it is also i just only [TS]

00:18:29   tattoos that that's part of the problem [TS]

00:18:31   that's true that's true you're right i [TS]

00:18:33   don't like a meeting although i think [TS]

00:18:35   there are a lot of people with tattoos [TS]

00:18:36   listening to our podcast who want their [TS]

00:18:38   tattoo choices validated by us and it [TS]

00:18:41   and I anyone that's so hard to because i [TS]

00:18:43   want to give a blanket validation to [TS]

00:18:45   everyone who's listening who has a [TS]

00:18:46   tattoo I think your tattoos amazing just [TS]

00:18:49   like somebody just like somebody just [TS]

00:18:50   came from Portland it's everybody else's [TS]

00:18:52   tattoos I don't like your tattoos amazed [TS]

00:18:55   the dream of the nineties really still a [TS]

00:18:56   lot of important [TS]

00:18:57   oh my god well the dream you know the [TS]

00:19:00   dream of the nineties i think is getting [TS]

00:19:01   put aside their lifestyle Andy I [TS]

00:19:03   apologize it's getting pushed for the [TS]

00:19:06   further and further south it's in salem [TS]

00:19:08   now the nineties the dream is spreading [TS]

00:19:11   I don't know presentations there's a [TS]

00:19:13   reason that there is no major city [TS]

00:19:15   between San Francisco and well really [TS]

00:19:19   and Seattle or Portland it doesn't [TS]

00:19:21   qualify five there's not a single and [TS]

00:19:24   you're worried about people who listen [TS]

00:19:26   to podcasts that have tattoos but you're [TS]

00:19:30   not worried about a place does not even [TS]

00:19:33   really in Northern California all the [TS]

00:19:35   way to see how everywhere in between [TS]

00:19:36   there are no major cities tell me name a [TS]

00:19:39   major city in eureka that's not a major [TS]

00:19:41   city right I'm trying to keep us out of [TS]

00:19:44   trouble [TS]

00:19:45   Eureka Eureka is a place where they [TS]

00:19:47   circled the wagons and then they nailed [TS]

00:19:49   the wagons to the floor [TS]

00:19:50   yeah and they called into town and they [TS]

00:19:52   were like what we call it i don't know [TS]

00:19:53   let's give it a name that makes people [TS]

00:19:54   want to come here [TS]

00:19:56   that there's nothing there I mean in [TS]

00:19:57   that same space between San Francisco [TS]

00:19:59   and Seattle on the east coast there are [TS]

00:20:02   a hundred million people living you got [TS]

00:20:04   to make a lot less right you got that is [TS]

00:20:06   corridors it's a constant megalopolis [TS]

00:20:09   the entire distance from San Francisco [TS]

00:20:10   to seattle there are more sheep than [TS]

00:20:13   humans there are more i think there are [TS]

00:20:15   probably more Turtles you know yet weed [TS]

00:20:19   you got data cults you've got [TS]

00:20:21   Republicans know and then you move into [TS]

00:20:24   beards got lumber you got lumberjack [TS]

00:20:26   sexy Lumberjacks you got exciting [TS]

00:20:30   leverage is like being a marine there [TS]

00:20:31   are no extra lumber jack some-some got [TS]

00:20:34   some like Lumberjacks who liked who saw [TS]

00:20:36   the light they were out there one day [TS]

00:20:38   chopping down a tree and they were like [TS]

00:20:39   wait a minute [TS]

00:20:40   the trees are friends so they start [TS]

00:20:41   something like trees unlimited where [TS]

00:20:43   that make sure they keep the trees alive [TS]

00:20:44   so they keep cutting down it's right [TS]

00:20:46   that may build a true that the [TS]

00:20:47   conservation with 21 poetry [TS]

00:20:49   um you know I don't want gravy is out [TS]

00:20:52   there living in a bus was a party with [TS]

00:20:54   wavy gravy once he seemed very [TS]

00:20:57   self-involved well he is wavy gravy was [TS]

00:21:00   wearing a tie dye shirt yeah that's his [TS]

00:21:03   look at six grams that's his brand em I [TS]

00:21:07   just you know I mean I don't you wear [TS]

00:21:09   this I spent a lot of time at walgreens [TS]

00:21:10   because there's a variety of things i [TS]

00:21:12   need to get walgreens and my [TS]

00:21:13   prescriptions I need a basic agreement [TS]

00:21:14   with you I know you are [TS]

00:21:16   yeah I want to keep order capable to [TS]

00:21:17   keep our walgreens but I just get you [TS]

00:21:19   times the donuts that when you bought [TS]

00:21:21   that handsome handsome cape that i [TS]

00:21:23   really hope you still have still have I [TS]

00:21:24   see here's the thing when i go to [TS]

00:21:26   walgreens again I the tiger I know what [TS]

00:21:29   I'm going to do I know what I need to do [TS]

00:21:31   things about at walgreens they make it [TS]

00:21:33   worse and worse and worse all the time [TS]

00:21:34   because they they add like the it seems [TS]

00:21:36   like they replaced the point the point [TS]

00:21:37   of sale devices every point of sale [TS]

00:21:40   device inclusive it gets they all get [TS]

00:21:42   worse every year they get more [TS]

00:21:44   complicated they get more breast cancer [TS]

00:21:46   buttons [TS]

00:21:46   there's more things that I have more [TS]

00:21:47   dinguses doing guy that I have to [TS]

00:21:49   interact with i just want to give you [TS]

00:21:51   this money and I want you to let me [TS]

00:21:53   leave [TS]

00:21:53   that's not bad enough right the people [TS]

00:21:55   who don't understand like how to run the [TS]

00:21:57   car the stripe is this way that's what [TS]

00:21:58   the illustration is telling you it's [TS]

00:22:00   there's always a lady there [TS]

00:22:04   there's always at least one sixty year [TS]

00:22:08   old Chinese lady arguing about an [TS]

00:22:10   expired coupon at every walgreens i'm [TS]

00:22:12   starting to think that she might be an [TS]

00:22:14   employee and I just iin the thing is [TS]

00:22:17   it's part of the culture I think arguing [TS]

00:22:19   over coupons is a tentpole of the [TS]

00:22:21   culture and we're all in this line we [TS]

00:22:24   just want to get our ice cream and move [TS]

00:22:26   on with our lives [TS]

00:22:27   I think there should be you know what [TS]

00:22:29   maybe even a separate kiosk there should [TS]

00:22:31   be a coupon argument kiosk achieving [TS]

00:22:34   things that lady in San Francisco is a [TS]

00:22:36   little cheese a little six-year-old [TS]

00:22:37   Chinese lady [TS]

00:22:38   yeah but in Florida she's a little [TS]

00:22:39   six-year-old Jewish lady [TS]

00:22:41   yeah like they're there is a there is a [TS]

00:22:44   a 60 year old lady thing that transcends [TS]

00:22:47   all cultures all across America there [TS]

00:22:50   are these ladies arguing about that same [TS]

00:22:52   coupon expired coupon expired expired [TS]

00:22:55   coupon extra-special clarify one thing [TS]

00:22:57   she doesn't need or want yeah and I and [TS]

00:23:00   so I i personally think that the UFOs [TS]

00:23:03   who live under the North Pole who are [TS]

00:23:04   controlling the world governments are [TS]

00:23:07   sending out these kind of stay Scouts [TS]

00:23:10   their first of all they're changing the [TS]

00:23:12   cash register so they're impossible to [TS]

00:23:13   figure out and yet they're removing real [TS]

00:23:16   human beings from cash register so at [TS]

00:23:18   little by little were being just hurted [TS]

00:23:20   funneled into this like built-in [TS]

00:23:23   frustration machines a retail abattoir [TS]

00:23:26   yeah here you go you're going to sit [TS]

00:23:27   here and you're gonna you're gonna fuss [TS]

00:23:28   with this thing it's never going to give [TS]

00:23:30   you a satisfying response [TS]

00:23:32   there's going to be this distal this [TS]

00:23:33   plant this little old lady arguing about [TS]

00:23:36   an expired coupon and all this is so [TS]

00:23:38   it's some kind of preparation it's [TS]

00:23:41   preparing us for living aboard piece [TS]

00:23:44   alien cattle ships that are that are [TS]

00:23:48   going to take us away and somehow i [TS]

00:23:50   don't understand their culture but [TS]

00:23:52   somehow on those ships were going to be [TS]

00:23:54   required our compliance is going to be [TS]

00:23:56   required and this is a way that they're [TS]

00:23:58   this is how they're breaking their [TS]

00:24:00   spirits [TS]

00:24:00   okay i'm sorry to say that i think i [TS]

00:24:02   almost completely understand that but i [TS]

00:24:04   have a couple questions so you [TS]

00:24:06   understand what you're saying are the [TS]

00:24:08   the let's just say only ping-pong the [TS]

00:24:11   the aging well mine and they're expired [TS]

00:24:15   coupons are they aware [TS]

00:24:17   first you're saying they are a kind of [TS]

00:24:19   emissary of the of the sub the Arctic [TS]

00:24:23   thinking visitors [TS]

00:24:25   there's a couple of ways this could go [TS]

00:24:26   they could be a sort of don't have all [TS]

00:24:28   the details about some of this is [TS]

00:24:29   conjecture based on fact they could be a [TS]

00:24:31   Jeffrey Dahmer situation where the [TS]

00:24:32   aliens have dropped acid into their [TS]

00:24:34   frontal lobe and made them not into like [TS]

00:24:37   compliant sex slaves but into like [TS]

00:24:40   coupon coupon automaton slaves just [TS]

00:24:43   coupon slaves were they get a hand them [TS]

00:24:45   a coupon and they go go try and get the [TS]

00:24:46   go try and redeem this coupon and a [TS]

00:24:48   little lady goes yeah and actually goes [TS]

00:24:52   down the door and then the next one [TS]

00:24:53   comes up in there like go try and redeem [TS]

00:24:55   this coupon and they just ended and but [TS]

00:24:57   they've taken away some some crucial [TS]

00:24:59   part of their brain or they could be I [TS]

00:25:02   mean for all we know they're clones or [TS]

00:25:05   all I think that gives very well be [TS]

00:25:07   clones there they could be clones don't [TS]

00:25:09   see like the university in that [TS]

00:25:10   ecosystem none of them are tall they're [TS]

00:25:12   all the same sign all the same size they [TS]

00:25:14   get the bucket hats [TS]

00:25:15   hey Johnny they could be another species [TS]

00:25:18   they could be for instance they could be [TS]

00:25:20   goats taking human form [TS]

00:25:24   okay here's the thing if you want to [TS]

00:25:26   create a super army of of like a [TS]

00:25:30   psychotic killing machines [TS]

00:25:32   the thing is like yes you're going to [TS]

00:25:34   want somebody client but first you're [TS]

00:25:36   gonna want somebody big strong and [TS]

00:25:38   psychotic you can get them to be playing [TS]

00:25:40   through mind control as we know but you [TS]

00:25:42   have to start with a form factor that's [TS]

00:25:44   going to work for what you want and [TS]

00:25:45   here's the thing they may not want to be [TS]

00:25:47   killing machines per se in the way that [TS]

00:25:50   you want but they've got their already [TS]

00:25:52   kind of wired for that all you need to [TS]

00:25:54   do is get everybody pointing in the same [TS]

00:25:55   direction in this case these ladies are [TS]

00:25:57   more than happy to spend an entire [TS]

00:25:59   literally an entire morning arguing over [TS]

00:26:01   a non-existent coupon for a non-existent [TS]

00:26:04   discount for an item is not in stock [TS]

00:26:06   right now I look at that as somebody [TS]

00:26:08   who's not not Bob a part of the you know [TS]

00:26:11   part of the brood and and i think that's [TS]

00:26:13   that's a kind of a monkey balls way to [TS]

00:26:14   spend your morning but there there's [TS]

00:26:15   something going on here they are [TS]

00:26:17   incentivized indispensable John and [TS]

00:26:20   they're arguing they look they look sad [TS]

00:26:21   about it they look extremely focused [TS]

00:26:23   here's my suggestion the store manager [TS]

00:26:25   with whom they're arguing [TS]

00:26:27   yeah also a clone [TS]

00:26:30   the entire thing is a is a passion play [TS]

00:26:33   it's a tableau just for you and you are [TS]

00:26:38   having your having some of the reactants [TS]

00:26:39   sudden I'm getting really used to that [TS]

00:26:41   conversation going on for an hour [TS]

00:26:43   that's right it is killing you softly [TS]

00:26:45   with his song but but now i gotta file a [TS]

00:26:48   complaint card it happens so much that i [TS]

00:26:50   would have to spend my day filling out [TS]

00:26:52   complaint cards if I were eventually [TS]

00:26:53   going to be on the interplanetary see [TS]

00:26:55   barge with the Chinese ladies and and [TS]

00:26:57   the psychotics and the UFOs they're [TS]

00:26:59   gonna want me to be in a position where [TS]

00:27:00   this is the kind of thing that I'm used [TS]

00:27:02   to yes he's standing in line [TS]

00:27:04   yes he's used to waiting and yes he's [TS]

00:27:06   used to our emissaries is used to [TS]

00:27:08   overhearing this conversation so that it [TS]

00:27:10   is so that seems normal [TS]

00:27:11   and when we hand him an expired coupon [TS]

00:27:14   and say go try and redeem this right [TS]

00:27:18   he's gonna feel like that's a normal [TS]

00:27:19   thing he's exhausted x it's the new [TS]

00:27:22   normal [TS]

00:27:23   yeah I've heard this conversation I know [TS]

00:27:25   how this goes i bet i can redeem this [TS]

00:27:27   coupon [TS]

00:27:27   I don't doubt i don't think i don't feel [TS]

00:27:29   great offering this up but i would like [TS]

00:27:31   you to be as honest as you're [TS]

00:27:32   comfortable being do you think there's a [TS]

00:27:33   chance that i might be a clone [TS]

00:27:34   I cannot imagine keep doing the show as [TS]

00:27:38   long as you want to do it but but have [TS]

00:27:40   you ever gotten the sense that i might [TS]

00:27:41   be a clone [TS]

00:27:42   I cannot imagine what they would have [TS]

00:27:44   cloned what would I want with it started [TS]

00:27:46   with what they would have started with [TS]

00:27:47   to produce you like what what it would [TS]

00:27:49   have had to have been I can't no I can't [TS]

00:27:51   I can't I cannot picture the life-form [TS]

00:27:53   that they that the the like the starter [TS]

00:27:57   in the petri dish that would have [TS]

00:28:00   produced you unless something went [TS]

00:28:02   horribly arrived [TS]

00:28:03   unless it was a thing where it was like [TS]

00:28:05   okay like chocolate and peanut butter [TS]

00:28:07   accident there is a Gary Busey and then [TS]

00:28:10   somebody like boots like it fell off the [TS]

00:28:14   table and they scraped it all back into [TS]

00:28:16   thing and they got some lights other [TS]

00:28:18   stuff in there i love i just want to say [TS]

00:28:20   that you know i can be very critical of [TS]

00:28:22   people who don't know how to do line but [TS]

00:28:24   I i just want to be open to improvement [TS]

00:28:26   opportunities and and really honestly I [TS]

00:28:28   want to be open to whatever the future [TS]

00:28:29   holds for me [TS]

00:28:30   well here's the thing I what I'm what [TS]

00:28:32   I'm concerned about what I want that [TS]

00:28:34   with the point of this podcast for me [TS]

00:28:37   this entire time has been to prepare you [TS]

00:28:40   for your eventual role as [TS]

00:28:42   rebel leader and I noted for yet yeah i [TS]

00:28:45   know it goes against your your your [TS]

00:28:48   identity or self-identity I'm farting [TS]

00:28:50   rebellious that you will be a rebel [TS]

00:28:51   leader but I feel like I feel like this [TS]

00:28:54   is what the force is telling me huh [TS]

00:28:57   and so all of this is just been it's [TS]

00:28:59   been me trying to deprogram you but I [TS]

00:29:03   and I've and I feel like now the cats [TS]

00:29:05   out of the bag [TS]

00:29:05   no no you killed by white this maybe [TS]

00:29:08   there's a lot of mine wiping you know [TS]

00:29:10   i'll have to decide okay I'm you know [TS]

00:29:12   I'm going to cut all this out will cut [TS]

00:29:14   all this huh [TS]

00:29:14   I'm just gonna I'm just gonna keep [TS]

00:29:15   taking it out of the way I I don't know [TS]

00:29:18   you know it's a it's just so frustrating [TS]

00:29:21   it's just so frustrating you know what [TS]

00:29:22   will be standing there and I i try i [TS]

00:29:25   have in the past been a passive [TS]

00:29:26   aggressive person and it's something I i [TS]

00:29:27   struggle with and I don't want to be [TS]

00:29:29   that way but sometimes my daughter and I [TS]

00:29:31   will be standing in line and one of the [TS]

00:29:33   clone people will come up with their [TS]

00:29:34   expired coupons and i will see them [TS]

00:29:37   shuffling shuffling toward the clone [TS]

00:29:40   manager because they don't have a [TS]

00:29:42   frontal lobe that's why they shuffle but [TS]

00:29:44   here we go ahead [TS]

00:29:45   okay no okay and okay and I'll oh no lo [TS]

00:29:50   right here but I i well I will uh I'll [TS]

00:29:54   say hi to whom to whom just to the sky [TS]

00:30:00   shuffle clone i'll say hi oh you say hi [TS]

00:30:03   to her [TS]

00:30:03   we're all waiting in line back here haha [TS]

00:30:07   everyone here is in the same line [TS]

00:30:10   hi and then I got 16 smiling making yeah [TS]

00:30:15   it and they'll say and she'll say and my [TS]

00:30:19   daughter will say well let's go up there [TS]

00:30:20   are saying now Eleanor we are Americans [TS]

00:30:24   and we live in America and we waited [TS]

00:30:26   alive [TS]

00:30:27   no no no no no that way I just mean that [TS]

00:30:30   I mean that this this is or should be [TS]

00:30:33   I nobody likes waiting in a line but [TS]

00:30:35   when we stop waiting in line like [TS]

00:30:37   Americans that is when everything starts [TS]

00:30:40   to unless of course there's something [TS]

00:30:41   that I should be picking up from this [TS]

00:30:42   whole clone culture and I gotta be [TS]

00:30:43   honest with you I feel like I should go [TS]

00:30:44   to walgreens right now and just start [TS]

00:30:45   opening my eyes are closed on right I [TS]

00:30:48   feel like I feel like we wait in lines [TS]

00:30:50   until you see [TS]

00:30:52   until you just until you discover the [TS]

00:30:54   line that you do not want to wait in [TS]

00:30:56   like when when when that line is leading [TS]

00:30:59   into the belly of a giant spacecraft [TS]

00:31:01   that's the line that maybe you need to [TS]

00:31:05   I you know I'm not saying you need to [TS]

00:31:07   skip ahead who I'm saying judge every [TS]

00:31:10   line at individually [TS]

00:31:12   yeah and also i'm not super familiar [TS]

00:31:14   with the star wars franchise but it's my [TS]

00:31:16   understanding that one way you make a [TS]

00:31:17   rebel easy screw with them but you you [TS]

00:31:20   are you unintentionally make a rebel [TS]

00:31:21   like when you kill her and uncle and [TS]

00:31:24   leave their smoking skeletons behind at [TS]

00:31:26   the desert a glue that one way to make [TS]

00:31:28   somebody good mad about wanting to join [TS]

00:31:29   up with the rebels don't you think you [TS]

00:31:31   what are you rebelling against that's [TS]

00:31:32   the thing is I'm not sure where we're [TS]

00:31:34   going yet because maybe I haven't [TS]

00:31:35   suffered that kind of loss maybe I am so [TS]

00:31:37   comfortable waiting in line behind these [TS]

00:31:39   shuffle clothes because i have not been [TS]

00:31:41   adequately harmed to know what I should [TS]

00:31:44   or shouldn't be doing talking to me for [TS]

00:31:46   an hour once a week is the moral [TS]

00:31:49   spiritual equivalent of having you're [TS]

00:31:51   the aunt and uncle who raised you [TS]

00:31:53   a charred and left of smoldering in the [TS]

00:31:56   on them like outside your underground [TS]

00:31:59   hut on a desert planet that's my hope i [TS]

00:32:05   don't think i'm doing a good enough job [TS]

00:32:07   no I think you did a great sin people [TS]

00:32:09   travel single file to disguise their [TS]

00:32:11   numbers [TS]

00:32:11   laughs last night I was in a bar with a [TS]

00:32:13   bunch of British people this and the gut [TS]

00:32:16   and the Portland bartender comes over [TS]

00:32:19   and one of them and the one of the [TS]

00:32:20   British people says do you have a [TS]

00:32:23   pilsner and the bartender says well are [TS]

00:32:29   we have 42 beers on tap the closest [TS]

00:32:34   thing we have to a pilsner is this a [TS]

00:32:38   little that I think you'll find is [TS]

00:32:39   really light and I was like I was [TS]

00:32:43   overhearing this guy was sitting next to [TS]

00:32:45   the person i was listening this [TS]

00:32:46   conversation is going that don't get [TS]

00:32:48   that whatever he's saying right now do [TS]

00:32:50   not get it it's not what you want [TS]

00:32:52   well because steps here he didn't really [TS]

00:32:54   answer the question he did not even say [TS]

00:32:55   no and yeah and the answer was no [TS]

00:32:57   answers now and so what's your second [TS]

00:33:00   choice the answer is not find a nail [TS]

00:33:02   that tastes like a pilsner the answer is [TS]

00:33:04   no we don't have that what you want [TS]

00:33:06   and so anyway the but obsequious [TS]

00:33:09   bartender convinces the British person [TS]

00:33:12   this i'm keen this is somebody in there [TS]

00:33:15   in it was a member of a British pop a [TS]

00:33:18   traveling pop band was using just [TS]

00:33:20   excited to be in America convinces him [TS]

00:33:22   to try this Portland style beer that is [TS]

00:33:25   made out of cranberries and bit and [TS]

00:33:29   biodiesel people but yeah and it's just [TS]

00:33:32   like oh it's very happy but you don't [TS]

00:33:34   taste the hops and it's very easy but [TS]

00:33:35   you don't taste the east and you know [TS]

00:33:37   what fuck you anyway the beer comes the [TS]

00:33:40   the British person taste the beer and he [TS]

00:33:42   says this is reprehensible disappear [TS]

00:33:45   that is the worst thing I've ever had [TS]

00:33:46   and I go well let's send it back and [TS]

00:33:50   he's like no no I'm fine [TS]

00:33:52   oh dear and I said no seriously and he [TS]

00:33:56   looked at me looked me right in the eyes [TS]

00:33:58   and he said I'm British [TS]

00:33:59   I will I will drink this beer i will [TS]

00:34:01   endure this beer and I turned around and [TS]

00:34:04   I said barkeep come here and the guy [TS]

00:34:08   cums you know he waddles back out and [TS]

00:34:10   I'm like this beer satisfies no one at [TS]

00:34:12   the table [TS]

00:34:13   least of all me and i dont trick and he [TS]

00:34:16   looks at me and he goes what do you mean [TS]

00:34:18   and I said [TS]

00:34:20   what do I mean what does it sound like I [TS]

00:34:23   mean it satisfies no one no one likes [TS]

00:34:25   this beer [TS]

00:34:26   no one likes and everyone else at the [TS]

00:34:28   table is from England and they're all [TS]

00:34:30   looking at their fingernails and the guy [TS]

00:34:34   goes what would you like [TS]

00:34:37   and I said a pilsner and he says we have [TS]

00:34:39   it in bottles i'm like blah and the beer [TS]

00:34:43   goes away and a bottle of pills here [TS]

00:34:44   comes and it and it's like it's like a [TS]

00:34:48   it's a it's like the Seas parted you did [TS]

00:34:53   you seem like a magician to that I've [TS]

00:34:54   been fishes turn two lobes or whatever [TS]

00:34:57   it is that happens in the end and that [TS]

00:34:59   crazy book and yeah well not a magician [TS]

00:35:01   what I seems like was an American they [TS]

00:35:03   were all like wow that's incredible like [TS]

00:35:06   I that and they resisted the urge I [TS]

00:35:08   think to apologize to each other or like [TS]

00:35:10   it I where do they were apologizing to [TS]

00:35:12   the fingernails or whatever it is that [TS]

00:35:13   that people do when they marry [TS]

00:35:15   uncomfortable and don't have any agency [TS]

00:35:17   but what happened was this Ted this [TS]

00:35:21   terrible beard that had been filtered [TS]

00:35:22   through somebody's dreadlocks went into [TS]

00:35:24   the sink and what was what happened was [TS]

00:35:27   the the pilsner that the guy had the [TS]

00:35:29   whole time but was in a bottle arrived [TS]

00:35:34   at the table and it was like I just I [TS]

00:35:37   felt like on one hand I was dealing with [TS]

00:35:39   Portland which which is so far up its [TS]

00:35:43   own ask now that it can't even deliver a [TS]

00:35:44   beer when somebody orders it and then on [TS]

00:35:47   the other hand was this table full of [TS]

00:35:48   British people that are just their [TS]

00:35:49   they're suffering from from a thousand [TS]

00:35:51   years of oven uh-huh from a thousand [TS]

00:35:54   years of drinking a bad beer and not [TS]

00:35:56   complaining [TS]

00:35:57   they've been through a lot I mean they [TS]

00:36:00   have grandparents and maybe aunts and [TS]

00:36:02   uncles who made it through the Blitz [TS]

00:36:03   they made it through the Blitz that's [TS]

00:36:04   you mean I you know they get a lot of [TS]

00:36:06   strength as far as I'm concerned for [TS]

00:36:08   making it through that that was it that [TS]

00:36:09   was a pretty tough go [TS]

00:36:10   it was the same as the same england i've [TS]

00:36:12   been reading a lot about the the norman [TS]

00:36:13   conquest and that was a really that was [TS]

00:36:17   a that was an interesting time you know [TS]

00:36:20   it [TS]

00:36:21   there was a there there was a period of [TS]

00:36:24   certain when I was in the height of my [TS]

00:36:26   like deep inside the University era it [TS]

00:36:29   was it coincided with a time when when [TS]

00:36:32   the people at least at my university [TS]

00:36:34   were disparaging of the great man theory [TS]

00:36:37   of history they said you know history [TS]

00:36:40   has always been the story of these great [TS]

00:36:42   men but that's bullshit and there aren't [TS]

00:36:45   there were no great men history is just [TS]

00:36:47   this that are just forces acting [TS]

00:36:50   overtime and and it's a there's a [TS]

00:36:55   certain kind of inevitability to history [TS]

00:36:57   and these people that we think of like [TS]

00:36:59   Stalin or whomever it they're mostly [TS]

00:37:03   irrelevant because it's really these [TS]

00:37:05   served geopolitical and economic forces [TS]

00:37:08   that are moving history through time and [TS]

00:37:10   I always I always pissed on that idea [TS]

00:37:12   but you read about the Battle of [TS]

00:37:17   Hastings and it's one of these moments [TS]

00:37:21   where it's like these guys and those [TS]

00:37:22   guys fought and the one guys lost and [TS]

00:37:25   England was forever changed like the [TS]

00:37:29   guys who won who were just a few [TS]

00:37:31   thousand guys they they marched to [TS]

00:37:34   London they were like what we killed [TS]

00:37:35   your king and we won that battle and so [TS]

00:37:38   we're in charge now and this French guys [TS]

00:37:41   the new king and everybody went bullshit [TS]

00:37:44   okay [TS]

00:37:45   and it was and it was you know for for [TS]

00:37:48   300 years they spoke French it in the [TS]

00:37:51   royal court and it was a whole new like [TS]

00:37:54   these new guys came in and they were the [TS]

00:37:56   new Dukes and Earls and they took all [TS]

00:37:58   the everything and it was like it [TS]

00:38:01   happened one day there was just one day [TS]

00:38:03   and then everything was different and [TS]

00:38:07   and that one battle turned on just a [TS]

00:38:14   kind of one moment even like there was a [TS]

00:38:17   moment they were evenly matched and they [TS]

00:38:19   were fighting and the one guy that [TS]

00:38:20   horses and the other guys had shields [TS]

00:38:23   and then the guys with the shield's like [TS]

00:38:25   kind of got duped a little bit and then [TS]

00:38:28   the whole thing was settled you know and [TS]

00:38:31   it's just like the English my god the [TS]

00:38:35   stories they can tell [TS]

00:38:38   and so it's an it's a very pure idea of [TS]

00:38:42   war in some ways it isn't something [TS]

00:38:44   we're just going to try and move the [TS]

00:38:45   ball forward a little bit it's really [TS]

00:38:47   it's it's a complete and utter victory [TS]

00:38:50   yeah really savage overwhelming kind of [TS]

00:38:53   victory [TS]

00:38:54   yeah the Normans came and they claimed [TS]

00:38:56   that the Pope they went to the Pope [TS]

00:38:59   before they cross the English Channel [TS]

00:39:00   and they said hey Pope we think we have [TS]

00:39:03   a pretty good case here for y4y we're [TS]

00:39:07   entitled to get to the English throne [TS]

00:39:11   and the Pope was like yeah sounds good [TS]

00:39:14   and so when they show up in England [TS]

00:39:17   they're carrying the flag of the Pope [TS]

00:39:19   they got the Pope flag and the and King [TS]

00:39:24   Harold that is hard to fake probably [TS]

00:39:25   right right you get the Pope like that's [TS]

00:39:27   not a thing you're gonna fake so Harold [TS]

00:39:30   and his Danes whoever the the current [TS]

00:39:34   king of England they see the Normans [TS]

00:39:36   land with the Pope like and they're like [TS]

00:39:37   5i got the Pope black and they start to [TS]

00:39:42   doubt themselves they're like we don't [TS]

00:39:44   have a pope flag even though it's even [TS]

00:39:47   though it's their place [TS]

00:39:48   it's their place but if you don't have [TS]

00:39:50   the Pope flag it means God is against [TS]

00:39:53   you and they really seriously thought [TS]

00:39:56   this is themselves and 66 now when is [TS]

00:39:59   this and 66 up in there and this is so [TS]

00:40:01   are they still a Catholic nation at this [TS]

00:40:03   point yeah everybody's Catholic at this [TS]

00:40:04   point there is no other thing and and [TS]

00:40:07   they think to themselves [TS]

00:40:09   maybe they really doubt themselves maybe [TS]

00:40:12   the maybe God doesn't maybe God doesn't [TS]

00:40:15   want us and also what happened in 1066 [TS]

00:40:17   Halley's Comet really yeah so they're [TS]

00:40:23   looking up at the sky and they're like [TS]

00:40:25   crazy star with the tail [TS]

00:40:28   what does it portend and then the Norman [TS]

00:40:32   show up with the Pope flag and this is [TS]

00:40:34   like two strikes [TS]

00:40:35   ok I think if you're if you're I don't [TS]

00:40:37   know a lot of English people but if [TS]

00:40:39   you're the kind of people who already [TS]

00:40:40   are a little bit embarrassed about what [TS]

00:40:42   you might be doing wrong drug and you [TS]

00:40:44   get a common typo flag that's gonna is [TS]

00:40:46   gonna cut pretty deeply if you won't [TS]

00:40:48   send a beer back that you didn't order [TS]

00:40:51   you're going to be a little bit like [TS]

00:40:53   unmanned by the appearance of this Pope [TS]

00:40:56   flag and the and the common to the flag [TS]

00:40:59   ends up playing a big part in this it's [TS]

00:41:00   something where it is that then today [TS]

00:41:02   it's probably not as effective but just [TS]

00:41:03   in general you need if you have the [TS]

00:41:05   equivalent of a pope flag going in [TS]

00:41:08   even today you're going to be in better [TS]

00:41:09   shape if i showed up at a party with the [TS]

00:41:11   Pope like I don't think it would Accord [TS]

00:41:13   me very much extra well I can't relate [TS]

00:41:16   i'm making air quotes around the Pope [TS]

00:41:19   flag [TS]

00:41:19   alright if i showed up at a party with a [TS]

00:41:21   9.4 on pitchfork [TS]

00:41:24   yeah i think people would they would [TS]

00:41:27   first guys to get Travis more than a [TS]

00:41:28   poke flag [TS]

00:41:30   I think I don't think there's anybody [TS]

00:41:31   deserves a pope flag again it's French [TS]

00:41:34   for me more than I think he should march [TS]

00:41:35   marches narrow ass over Chicago with the [TS]

00:41:38   fucking Pope flag and an army of the [TS]

00:41:41   ship has sailed on that i'll never get [TS]

00:41:42   them never forget that [TS]

00:41:44   but then the so the battle takes place [TS]

00:41:45   and on the one hand the the Normans they [TS]

00:41:49   bring horses and they've got a Calvary [TS]

00:41:53   right and that and the and the gallery [TS]

00:41:55   calico whatever the correct kaveri I [TS]

00:41:58   would I wouldn't correct any other [TS]

00:42:00   perspective on that except for you gotta [TS]

00:42:02   cranberry got a personal gathi to grab [TS]

00:42:05   Murray got any way of that and then the [TS]

00:42:06   Brenda the the King of England Harold [TS]

00:42:09   and his British who are actually Danish [TS]

00:42:11   but let's that that's a different story [TS]

00:42:14   they don't have the horses but they have [TS]

00:42:17   they have this technology this shield [TS]

00:42:21   wall where they all stand real close to [TS]

00:42:22   each other and they put their shields up [TS]

00:42:24   I was the Pikes thing where they make a [TS]

00:42:26   big solid block [TS]

00:42:27   yeah whoo and the Normans have never [TS]

00:42:30   seen this [TS]

00:42:31   they each had never seen the others [TS]

00:42:33   water isn't that insane you could go [TS]

00:42:35   into war and like the way people [TS]

00:42:36   screamed and carried their shields might [TS]

00:42:38   just completely destroy the morale like [TS]

00:42:39   totally throw you off so they so the [TS]

00:42:41   Lord are utterly like work we are [TS]

00:42:43   extensively and certainly [TS]

00:42:45   technologically unprepared for dealing [TS]

00:42:47   with this it was it would be like [TS]

00:42:48   somebody like the poison gas in world [TS]

00:42:50   war one like this is a real curveball [TS]

00:42:52   this is a new one on this yeah the [TS]

00:42:53   Normans are used to swooping down with [TS]

00:42:55   their horses and like everybody runs and [TS]

00:42:58   they come at this shield wall with their [TS]

00:42:59   horses and the shield will just stands [TS]

00:43:01   there and the horses [TS]

00:43:03   get up to this wall of guys holding up [TS]

00:43:05   their shields and the horses don't know [TS]

00:43:06   what to do the horses turn around or the [TS]

00:43:08   horses like stop and then the and then [TS]

00:43:11   the British hit him with the spears the [TS]

00:43:13   long Pikes and it's like oh shit this is [TS]

00:43:15   heavy and then made the horses run back [TS]

00:43:18   but the Normans had archers and the [TS]

00:43:22   British forgot their archers they [TS]

00:43:24   literally left their archers behind [TS]

00:43:25   because the archers couldn't move as [TS]

00:43:28   fast or something and so rain of arrows [TS]

00:43:30   comes down shield wall goes up horses [TS]

00:43:33   shields [TS]

00:43:34   I mean basically the British all they [TS]

00:43:35   had was the shield wall but it was very [TS]

00:43:37   effective and they fight back and forth [TS]

00:43:40   all day long and this is a thing [TS]

00:43:42   this is an era when people fought [TS]

00:43:44   battles that lasted for a half an hour [TS]

00:43:47   like they went in to kick your ass then [TS]

00:43:50   any and you know you had a leather hat [TS]

00:43:52   and they hit you with a sword and the [TS]

00:43:53   leather hat didn't do anything and you [TS]

00:43:55   back and back in those days I mean he [TS]

00:43:57   would have these sort of limited [TS]

00:43:59   resources and if you just made a couple [TS]

00:44:00   good holes that it might be all over [TS]

00:44:03   right you guys writing it holds and [TS]

00:44:05   couple of holes in the flank and and [TS]

00:44:06   that's that you know gameover gameover [TS]

00:44:08   but they fought all day these two armies [TS]

00:44:11   not separable nobody was really winning [TS]

00:44:13   they were just brutalizing each other [TS]

00:44:15   and then sort of the end of the day [TS]

00:44:18   people are getting tired and and and the [TS]

00:44:23   turning point of the battle was the [TS]

00:44:24   Normans did another one of these like [TS]

00:44:26   attacks at the shield wall and then they [TS]

00:44:30   pretended to get this they pretended to [TS]

00:44:33   run away the Normans pretended to run [TS]

00:44:36   away and the British broke their shield [TS]

00:44:41   wall to pursue them down the hill like [TS]

00:44:44   father on the run and the minute they [TS]

00:44:50   break the shield while they chase they [TS]

00:44:52   chased the Normans down the hill and [TS]

00:44:54   then the horses swoop around and cut [TS]

00:44:58   them off and then [TS]

00:44:59   oh fuck the shield-wall was the only [TS]

00:45:03   defense they had it was the only [TS]

00:45:05   technology they had and they they they [TS]

00:45:07   broke it to pursue the the Normans down [TS]

00:45:11   the hill and then they realized their [TS]

00:45:13   mistake [TS]

00:45:14   and the shield-wall was really effective [TS]

00:45:18   both in terms of the surprise but [TS]

00:45:19   primarily as a a really strong defensive [TS]

00:45:22   deterrent it wasn't an offensive weapon [TS]

00:45:24   until you were attacked it was it was [TS]

00:45:27   impenetrable but in a situation like [TS]

00:45:28   this the burden of proof is on the [TS]

00:45:30   Normans they were the invaders if they [TS]

00:45:32   can't get past the shield-wall you're [TS]

00:45:34   just gonna push him into the ocean but [TS]

00:45:37   that's the thing it's one battle it's [TS]

00:45:40   just it's like it's like 5000 guys here [TS]

00:45:42   five thousand guys there the whole [TS]

00:45:44   history of the nation the whole history [TS]

00:45:46   of the West is like turns on this day it [TS]

00:45:50   lasted one day it's been ads and then [TS]

00:45:53   the Normans were like we win and they [TS]

00:45:54   could they marched their put poop flag [TS]

00:45:56   all the way across the country and [TS]

00:45:58   they're like here we are you guys clear [TS]

00:46:01   your furniture outlet take we're taking [TS]

00:46:02   everything on Z and they that's right [TS]

00:46:05   Posey and they did they took everything [TS]

00:46:07   and then it's like oh ok now that's it [TS]

00:46:09   that's out this geez Louise and the Pope [TS]

00:46:13   flag up everybody you know you carry a [TS]

00:46:15   thing like that around [TS]

00:46:16   I mean that odd King Harold let alone [TS]

00:46:20   just some country bumpkin somewhere some [TS]

00:46:22   you know some hobbits living in the [TS]

00:46:25   central England been i bet it made the [TS]

00:46:28   Pope proud once things got back to him [TS]

00:46:29   that his flag had been so effective [TS]

00:46:31   tata must have bullied him I better yet [TS]

00:46:33   but he's not strong more strongly than [TS]

00:46:35   ever about the five bears at that point [TS]

00:46:37   everybody heard that story and they were [TS]

00:46:39   like Pope flag respect it's just part of [TS]

00:46:43   me that really wishes public TV we're [TS]

00:46:45   still good because you could have a [TS]

00:46:49   jamesburg style runch on there any [TS]

00:46:53   feeling the cable you could be a cable [TS]

00:46:56   thing I mean I guess you could have some [TS]

00:46:57   kind of an independent production but [TS]

00:46:59   let's let's reinvent it you know all of [TS]

00:47:01   our friends now have these NPR shows [TS]

00:47:03   yeah it's like NPR for years was this [TS]

00:47:06   unassailable tower who is this ivory [TS]

00:47:08   tower for the consuming public radiation [TS]

00:47:11   is like you know mcdonald's gift [TS]

00:47:12   certificates yeah now you're just waltz [TS]

00:47:14   in there and you say i'm i'm a guy I've [TS]

00:47:16   got a moustache give me a public radio [TS]

00:47:18   show and they do have an offensive [TS]

00:47:19   sardonic wit ya [TS]

00:47:22   yeah well we can do that and we could we [TS]

00:47:24   get that we could do that [TS]

00:47:26   yeah there's also the problem of the a [TS]

00:47:27   dats you know i mean in retrospect you [TS]

00:47:30   had seemingly the clunkers yeah you know [TS]

00:47:33   I mean it's it seems so obvious now you [TS]

00:47:36   know it'sit's AE when you're making [TS]

00:47:39   these especially like what would like [TS]

00:47:40   early tanks and stuff like that right [TS]

00:47:42   early tanks now generally takes didn't [TS]

00:47:44   have treads right there basically just [TS]

00:47:47   like difficult to put to maneuver trucks [TS]

00:47:51   no I thought the the early tanks got [TS]

00:47:53   treads pretty fast because they were [TS]

00:47:54   used to learn that lesson pretty quick [TS]

00:47:56   yeah they made their introduction in [TS]

00:47:57   world war one and and a tank with wheels [TS]

00:48:01   was going to get mired them the treads [TS]

00:48:04   were where they were one of the big [TS]

00:48:06   innovations there's no there was no [TS]

00:48:08   battle of like the monitor versus the [TS]

00:48:10   Merrimack of Tanks no armor armored [TS]

00:48:13   Conestoga's where they were just like [TS]

00:48:15   boats that they kind of have sank over [TS]

00:48:18   at know that tanks tanks were were [TS]

00:48:22   pretty fully realized pretty fast they [TS]

00:48:24   did what they didn't have initially was [TS]

00:48:26   big guns they just had machine guns it [TS]

00:48:28   was just like a it's like that like [TS]

00:48:30   long-range artillery yeah it was just a [TS]

00:48:32   house with machine guns that you could [TS]

00:48:34   move into the other guys from yard and [TS]

00:48:37   it was only later that they were like [TS]

00:48:38   you know we could put a big cannon on [TS]

00:48:39   this too [TS]

00:48:40   oh I see what you're saying it wasn't [TS]

00:48:42   just a way to like have this this [TS]

00:48:45   hulking thing that could move across the [TS]

00:48:47   field without getting blown up it would [TS]

00:48:49   in that case it would be almost like [TS]

00:48:51   more like a transporter add a defensive [TS]

00:48:52   weapon you're saying that was big [TS]

00:48:54   development put the gun on there that is [TS]

00:48:56   what you want thought of that upfront [TS]

00:48:57   you it was a thing where they that they [TS]

00:48:59   have this they were fighting in trenches [TS]

00:49:01   and they were like how do we get how do [TS]

00:49:03   we break this stalemate [TS]

00:49:05   they've got a trench we've got a trench [TS]

00:49:06   to any time we send somebody out in the [TS]

00:49:08   middle that they just get turned amber [TS]

00:49:09   the barrier to entry in the trench or is [TS]

00:49:11   low and the cost is high [TS]

00:49:12   that's right so they were like let's [TS]

00:49:14   make let's make a bulldozer that has [TS]

00:49:17   that has a house on it a metal house [TS]

00:49:21   will put a metal house on a bulldozer [TS]

00:49:23   what about that they're like yeah we [TS]

00:49:26   could do that what if we put machine [TS]

00:49:27   guns in it a metal house with machine [TS]

00:49:29   guns then we drive it over there barbed [TS]

00:49:32   wire and then we just parked there and [TS]

00:49:34   shoot him [TS]

00:49:35   yeah good idea who it is that that the [TS]

00:49:39   beyond there since it was those a coat [TS]

00:49:42   anchor steam that's where it got its [TS]

00:49:44   name [TS]

00:49:45   we have to come to sherman tank William [TS]

00:49:48   William tanker tankers take your [TS]

00:49:50   students in Johnson no I don't you know [TS]

00:49:53   I don't know what [TS]

00:49:54   well I don't know it wasn't pershing [TS]

00:49:56   know just maybe generals now [TS]

00:50:00   no but that was it [TS]

00:50:03   grant so did you see that Lincoln movie [TS]

00:50:08   I haven't seen it yet because well for a [TS]

00:50:12   lot of reasons but but my thing with the [TS]

00:50:15   Daniel day-lewis 'as i like to wait for [TS]

00:50:17   the smoke to clear before i go see it if [TS]

00:50:20   they lose anymore [TS]

00:50:22   well Daniel day-lewis he think he gets a [TS]

00:50:24   pass [TS]

00:50:25   there's a lot there's a lot of reasons [TS]

00:50:27   why somebody like me would be suspicious [TS]

00:50:31   of Daniel day-lewis but i am not i will [TS]

00:50:34   go see Daniel day-lewis just as a [TS]

00:50:36   hypothetical excluding yourself why [TS]

00:50:38   would somebody like you be a little [TS]

00:50:39   suspicious of Daniel day-lewis well [TS]

00:50:42   there's a there that his method to get [TS]

00:50:49   to think my method is unsound I don't [TS]

00:50:52   see any method isn't that app yeah he's [TS]

00:50:59   basically he's basically the colonel [TS]

00:51:01   kurtz of a holic with oh ok so he's like [TS]

00:51:05   one of those dinero inhabit the role [TS]

00:51:08   kind of guys and he goes way past that [TS]

00:51:10   yeah and I feel like I feel actually cut [TS]

00:51:12   off cut off his left foot you know he [TS]

00:51:14   did I think yeah he went for the Lincoln [TS]

00:51:16   roll his foot and foot gained 50 pounds [TS]

00:51:18   for the role he actually he went and [TS]

00:51:21   lived in a in a log cabin in Illinois [TS]

00:51:26   for 25 years preparing for this role but [TS]

00:51:30   no I will go see it you're the only [TS]

00:51:31   thing the only redeeming feature of [TS]

00:51:33   gangs of new york was said okay Louis as [TS]

00:51:37   a weird movie it was a terrible movie [TS]

00:51:39   but Daniel day-lewis was I do I thought [TS]

00:51:41   transcendent I would have just that if [TS]

00:51:43   they had cut everything else out and [TS]

00:51:45   just show Daniel day-lewis for a half an [TS]

00:51:48   hour I would [TS]

00:51:49   what about there will be blood [TS]

00:51:51   the problem with their there will be [TS]

00:51:53   blood is the way that movie starts with [TS]

00:51:55   that [TS]

00:51:55   yeah there's like this sadness this [TS]

00:51:58   violin sound this room I crazy-making [TS]

00:52:01   violin sound at the very start of the [TS]

00:52:03   movie and I just turned me against the [TS]

00:52:04   film for the whole rest of the films [TS]

00:52:06   like whether they have that sounds so [TS]

00:52:07   well as a weird movie that was it that [TS]

00:52:09   was it that was a terrible sound to [TS]

00:52:11   start this movie off with that I and an [TS]

00:52:12   object you set your sensitive to sound [TS]

00:52:15   insensitive but your you know your manly [TS]

00:52:18   about it but it you know ass and put you [TS]

00:52:20   off the sound can put me off a film [TS]

00:52:22   there are a lot of things that can put [TS]

00:52:23   me off the film with our brother there [TS]

00:52:26   is i mentioned is it it starts out i [TS]

00:52:29   guess like you know look like private [TS]

00:52:32   ryan it starts out with the really grew [TS]

00:52:35   some slow motion civil war battle [TS]

00:52:38   yeah whoo yeah now let's see if it's one [TS]

00:52:42   of those you know it'sit's again it's a [TS]

00:52:44   and at some point I'd like to return to [TS]

00:52:47   your feelings about things like drones [TS]

00:52:48   it went if you're comfortable with it [TS]

00:52:50   because it seems like it's kind of [TS]

00:52:50   becoming a thing and I'd like to write I [TS]

00:52:52   know you're not into what i believe you [TS]

00:52:55   called chicken shit fighting with things [TS]

00:52:57   like like far away shooting and drugs [TS]

00:52:59   but what you really get a sense of what [TS]

00:53:01   hand-to-hand combat really means the [TS]

00:53:03   term you're just sitting there and [TS]

00:53:04   hitting somebody on the head and stabbed [TS]

00:53:07   him with that knife until they die and [TS]

00:53:09   that is what that is what war should be [TS]

00:53:11   and should always be too technical and [TS]

00:53:13   this is my problem with it is that as we [TS]

00:53:15   become technologically able to get away [TS]

00:53:19   from war then it becomes boo [TS]

00:53:22   ridiculously easy to to go blow people [TS]

00:53:26   apart you know that the people on the [TS]

00:53:28   receiving end of a sidewinder missiles [TS]

00:53:30   fired from a drone by a by a US Air [TS]

00:53:33   Force captain who's sitting in a trailer [TS]

00:53:35   and air-conditioned trailer outside of [TS]

00:53:37   Las Vegas Nevada the person on the [TS]

00:53:39   receiving end of that Sidewinder missile [TS]

00:53:40   is just as blown apart it's it's just [TS]

00:53:44   the guy that fires the fire the missile [TS]

00:53:46   that suffers no consequences but the you [TS]

00:53:50   know my feeling Merlin is that that [TS]

00:53:54   rather than [TS]

00:53:55   scale-up sighs war super-sized war we [TS]

00:53:59   need to return to an era of neighborhood [TS]

00:54:02   stick fights neighborhood stick fights [TS]

00:54:06   neighborhood against neighborhood we [TS]

00:54:08   need to us we need to institutionalize [TS]

00:54:09   this in America we need to stop playing [TS]

00:54:12   football for one that's and that's a big [TS]

00:54:15   distraction John football's a tremendous [TS]

00:54:18   distraction that and that all that [TS]

00:54:20   energy could be better channeled into [TS]

00:54:22   neighborhood stick fights and it would [TS]

00:54:25   it seems to me that it would have to be [TS]

00:54:27   sticks that you can find in your [TS]

00:54:28   neighborhood you should not be able to [TS]

00:54:30   amazon prime a better stick cause that [TS]

00:54:32   defeats the purpose of the neighborhood [TS]

00:54:33   stick fight [TS]

00:54:34   absolutely and the thing about [TS]

00:54:35   neighborhoods tick bite is that joining [TS]

00:54:37   the neighborhood stick fight team is [TS]

00:54:39   100-percent voluntary now stick with me [TS]

00:54:43   through this if i put up posters in my [TS]

00:54:45   neighborhood that said neighborhood [TS]

00:54:47   stick fights we are going to go down the [TS]

00:54:49   hill and we will all of us up here in [TS]

00:54:52   rainier of you are going to get a little [TS]

00:54:54   gang together we're going to go down the [TS]

00:54:55   hill and we're gonna have a stick fight [TS]

00:54:57   on the football field with the all of [TS]

00:54:59   those assholes in columbia city and [TS]

00:55:01   human City now who would be attracted [TS]

00:55:03   who'd show up to that meeting the answer [TS]

00:55:08   every asshole in my neighborhood like it [TS]

00:55:11   it would be a self-selecting process the [TS]

00:55:14   people who would be interested in being [TS]

00:55:16   on the stick fighting team are the [TS]

00:55:17   violence idiots [TS]

00:55:20   yeah that are precisely the people in my [TS]

00:55:22   neighborhood that I would a want [TS]

00:55:24   fighting on my name on a mighty have a [TS]

00:55:26   and B the people in my neighborhood that [TS]

00:55:28   I would want killed or injured like the [TS]

00:55:31   80 it is it is it is a natural selection [TS]

00:55:35   process we would pit neighborhoods [TS]

00:55:37   against one another in self-selecting [TS]

00:55:39   voluntary stick fighting teams it is but [TS]

00:55:42   it is fighting literally with sticks [TS]

00:55:44   until the other organic organic locally [TS]

00:55:47   sourced sticks whatever stick you can [TS]

00:55:49   find the best ticket fine until the [TS]

00:55:51   other team is too injured or dead to [TS]

00:55:54   continue okay get two questions be [TS]

00:55:56   if you win the neighborhood stick fight [TS]

00:55:58   and you like their sticks better can you [TS]

00:56:00   keep them castle kinda like when beta [TS]

00:56:02   ray bill gates Thor's hammer is that ok [TS]

00:56:04   you can it take your sticks okay and [TS]

00:56:06   then a here's the point part first of [TS]

00:56:09   all if I could say a1 I i think it would [TS]

00:56:12   be useful to have that poster not not in [TS]

00:56:15   a faggy way but make it have multiple [TS]

00:56:17   languages on because you can extend [TS]

00:56:18   extremely diverse neighborhood that's [TS]

00:56:20   exactly what this is all about to show [TS]

00:56:22   up you're gonna have to put somebody's [TS]

00:56:23   on there some oies yeah what you would [TS]

00:56:25   have in Vietnamese you would have it in [TS]

00:56:27   Spanish I don't think you would like it [TS]

00:56:29   a lot that you would have it in black [TS]

00:56:30   language yeah I don't think you would [TS]

00:56:32   get a lot of sub of hispanic stick [TS]

00:56:35   fighters but there be a few ok i think [TS]

00:56:37   there would be a lot of Vietnamese guys [TS]

00:56:39   you can tell them they'll be cool cars [TS]

00:56:40   there [TS]

00:56:41   do you know what the thing is these are [TS]

00:56:43   these are these are either fighting men [TS]

00:56:44   and women and you don't want to lie to [TS]

00:56:45   them my only thought is this and this is [TS]

00:56:48   the point part is yes most of the people [TS]

00:56:51   are going to be there for the stick and [TS]

00:56:53   the fight but i want to know more and in [TS]

00:56:56   the movie about this i want to know more [TS]

00:56:57   about the people who are there for the [TS]

00:56:58   neighborhood part because that that's [TS]

00:57:00   when you're going to have the surprising [TS]

00:57:02   old and lame ladies show up and say yes [TS]

00:57:05   I don't want to have to fight with a [TS]

00:57:06   stick but i feel very strongly about our [TS]

00:57:08   neighborhood that's right I've always [TS]

00:57:09   hated hillman city and I'm city art I [TS]

00:57:12   they're assholes [TS]

00:57:13   the thing is so so you have you have [TS]

00:57:15   these you have these situations where [TS]

00:57:17   everyone saw a little lady tries to get [TS]

00:57:19   in there but you know it's a [TS]

00:57:20   neighborhood situation so so once the [TS]

00:57:23   once human City once you once you kind [TS]

00:57:25   of like pulverize them on the little old [TS]

00:57:27   ladies come out may kick they kicked him [TS]

00:57:29   in the groin or whatever it is the [TS]

00:57:30   ladies do they think I'm argue with them [TS]

00:57:32   about an expired coupons and then the [TS]

00:57:34   winner of that fight goes on to the [TS]

00:57:37   regionals and will you know the winner [TS]

00:57:39   of that fight fights like a fights [TS]

00:57:42   cherry hill or whatever although they're [TS]

00:57:44   just a bunch of Seattle you students up [TS]

00:57:47   there nobody works like an easy stick [TS]

00:57:49   fight west seattle about that that would [TS]

00:57:51   be a hell of a stick and like what [TS]

00:57:53   alderman come and like wear robes [TS]

00:57:55   absofuckinglutely and you would do this [TS]

00:57:57   periodically it would quit would clean [TS]

00:58:00   out all the bad blood you got you got to [TS]

00:58:02   have a war every few years gotta have a [TS]

00:58:04   war yes then you're than the Seattle the [TS]

00:58:07   victorious Seattle stick fighting team [TS]

00:58:10   would take on Portland's top stick [TS]

00:58:13   fighting team and that you would just go [TS]

00:58:15   all the way to the Super Bowl stick [TS]

00:58:16   fights where presumably every year would [TS]

00:58:19   be pittsburgh pittsburgh vs oakland but [TS]

00:58:22   now we're back to the football problem [TS]

00:58:24   but the thing is it's not always [TS]

00:58:25   declined [TS]

00:58:26   you're literally beating each other to [TS]

00:58:29   death [TS]

00:58:30   ok to if I if you can say do you think [TS]

00:58:34   that maybe in your neighborhood is there [TS]

00:58:36   a feisty but beloved old lady could you [TS]

00:58:41   think you could find a feisty maybe just [TS]

00:58:43   beloved beloved would be fine just [TS]

00:58:44   enough to be feisty should be a [TS]

00:58:45   quiescent but if you find a feisty lady [TS]

00:58:47   and she gets killed in a neighborhood [TS]

00:58:49   stick fight you gotta poop flag on your [TS]

00:58:50   hands now you've got a mandate you've [TS]

00:58:53   got a martyr you've got you've got a [TS]

00:58:55   call Gotham that you can put on the [TS]

00:58:56   flagpole if you follow [TS]

00:58:58   yeah absolutely ready review would be [TS]

00:59:00   unstoppable because your horse horse [TS]

00:59:03   what's the deal what's the song is the [TS]

00:59:05   song or stub of our civilian League you [TS]

00:59:08   know you know the song there was this [TS]

00:59:11   guy special course definitely yeah am I [TS]

00:59:15   saying that right and i have a stroke [TS]

00:59:17   I don't know this story about horse [TS]

00:59:20   vessel supposedly being killed what I [TS]

00:59:22   choose right of course and that became [TS]

00:59:25   like what i want all people the Jews [TS]

00:59:27   they did it they did we will rock you we [TS]

00:59:30   are the champions thing where it was it [TS]

00:59:32   was totally new braless and horse vessel [TS]

00:59:34   lead [TS]

00:59:35   yeah which is I think the lyrics are [TS]

00:59:36   pretty bad i think the dignity like an [TS]

00:59:38   old song and Mako somebody killed horse [TS]

00:59:40   vessel probably basically like it was so [TS]

00:59:43   it's basically john denver's career but [TS]

00:59:45   you do is lead if you go and you watch [TS]

00:59:51   that referenced allmovie I don't even [TS]

00:59:53   have that this time speaking of this [TS]

00:59:54   phonetically that they say it they say [TS]

00:59:55   that people know the words to the horse [TS]

00:59:57   usually oh yes they do right you need [TS]

00:59:57   usually oh yes they do right you need [TS]

01:00:00   professionally for a beloved old lady in [TS]

01:00:02   your neighborhood that people can sting [TS]

01:00:04   saying that neighborhood stick fights [TS]

01:00:06   but I'm telling you is you really have [TS]

01:00:08   to die you can fake it you can fake it [TS]

01:00:09   now you would want to fake it you want [TS]

01:00:11   to really die you want people to really [TS]

01:00:13   have a little bit of you know you want [TS]

01:00:15   to dip that flag in her blood [TS]

01:00:17   aah the thing is if you had if you have [TS]

01:00:20   that shit like that going on there would [TS]

01:00:22   be a lot fewer invasions of Iraq I'm us [TS]

01:00:26   and so many fewer morbidly obese men [TS]

01:00:29   buying era official football jerseys [TS]

01:00:32   well and all of these out of my [TS]

01:00:34   neighborhood stick fight in there and [TS]

01:00:36   all right guys all of your all of your [TS]

01:00:38   Ted Nugent's like ted nugent the problem [TS]

01:00:42   of Ted Nugent would have been solved 25 [TS]

01:00:44   years ago because he would have felt [TS]

01:00:46   compelled by his constant macho rhetoric [TS]

01:00:50   he would have felt compelled to prove [TS]

01:00:52   himself on the stick fighting field and [TS]

01:00:55   he would have gone out there and got his [TS]

01:00:56   ass handed to him by some by some guy [TS]

01:01:00   who had his frontal lobe dissected and [TS]

01:01:04   it was potentially a clone Nugent future [TS]

01:01:07   would have been impaled on a stick 25 [TS]

01:01:12   years ago and wanted it more [TS]

01:01:14   the clone wanted more sure he's sitting [TS]

01:01:17   around doing pull offs and and bar [TS]

01:01:19   chords and here comes the man who [TS]

01:01:20   literally has no no frontal lobe is [TS]

01:01:22   being controlled by aliens or possibly [TS]

01:01:23   ladies with coupons to live under [TS]

01:01:25   Antarctica Arctic any of the point the [TS]

01:01:27   point is that like you can bring all the [TS]

01:01:28   crossbow you want but you get a man a [TS]

01:01:30   motivated man with the Pope flag and [TS]

01:01:32   stick he's going to make a journey to [TS]

01:01:34   the center your goddamn mind [TS]

01:01:35   it's like moose from Archie right move [TS]

01:01:39   it [TS]

01:01:40   Nugent against moose who all fine Tomlin [TS]

01:01:43   yeah tell me when was the last one was [TS]

01:01:45   last even halfway decent Ted Nugent [TS]

01:01:47   album [TS]

01:01:48   yeah it coincided about the time that he [TS]

01:01:51   that Newton should have died on the on [TS]

01:01:53   the quality and somewhere in Detroit [TS]

01:01:57   there would be a pope flag with Nugent's [TS]

01:02:00   face on it that had been dipped in his [TS]

01:02:01   blood may be fighting for Nugent to this [TS]

01:02:04   day and and all of the impoverished [TS]

01:02:06   neighborhoods of Detroit you know the [TS]

01:02:08   thing is he [TS]

01:02:09   I know you have a soft spot for Detroit [TS]

01:02:11   and scared spider to some extent but [TS]

01:02:13   imagine how that city could be [TS]

01:02:15   revitalized if they would pick up some [TS]

01:02:17   sticks [TS]

01:02:17   I mean just the civic pride that they [TS]

01:02:19   could bring back it would certainly get [TS]

01:02:20   rid of a lot of the malingerers I don't [TS]

01:02:24   they have good sticks in Detroit think [TS]

01:02:26   it's all it's all automatic now here's [TS]

01:02:28   the here's the translation of the horse [TS]

01:02:30   whistle song flag high ranks closed [TS]

01:02:32   already sounds like a neighborhood stick [TS]

01:02:34   fight the essay marches with silent [TS]

01:02:37   solid steps [TS]

01:02:38   mmm comrades shot by the red front and [TS]

01:02:44   reaction so the comments are shot both [TS]

01:02:47   by the red front and the red reaction [TS]

01:02:49   comrades marching spirit with us in our [TS]

01:02:52   ranks so their dead comrades are [TS]

01:02:53   marching ok so it's the it's the [TS]

01:02:55   socialist it's not a communist communist [TS]

01:02:58   not the jews did well but the Jews and [TS]

01:03:00   communists there's no distinction peas [TS]

01:03:02   and carrots the street 34 the brown [TS]

01:03:04   battalions we're not talking about brown [TS]

01:03:07   skin their time of brown shirts the [TS]

01:03:09   street free for the stormtroopers not [TS]

01:03:12   talking about Star Wars talk about Nazi [TS]

01:03:15   storm troopers millions lotto wish ps4 [TS]

01:03:18   good milkins full vote [TS]

01:03:21   look up at the swastika the day breaks [TS]

01:03:24   for freedom and for bread little bit of [TS]

01:03:28   red and a little bread and circuses for [TS]

01:03:29   the masses who so the guy that's [TS]

01:03:32   listening to this world they're marching [TS]

01:03:34   by the guy listening to it is like yeah [TS]

01:03:36   but what is this about what good is this [TS]

01:03:37   for me and then they say bread at the [TS]

01:03:40   end of that first and he's like oh right [TS]

01:03:43   bread i'm into bread is a lot of the [TS]

01:03:47   last first 20 yeah you keep going for [TS]

01:03:51   the last time the call will now be blown [TS]

01:03:53   lo the call blow the phone [TS]

01:03:59   ok we're not talking about NFL rest [TS]

01:04:02   they're talking about losing your own [TS]

01:04:04   norton anthology with footnotes they're [TS]

01:04:06   talking about a horn blowing the call in [TS]

01:04:10   you know in a ram's horn who are not [TS]

01:04:12   talking about the new wave band but now [TS]

01:04:13   not not a ram's horn like they used in [TS]

01:04:16   the gym i'm walking out on a car not a [TS]

01:04:18   Jew horn at you horn [TS]

01:04:20   bro so far so good for the struggle now [TS]

01:04:24   we all stand ready soon we'll fly Hitler [TS]

01:04:27   flags over every street like a flag this [TS]

01:04:32   is a Hitler flag soon we'll fly Hitler [TS]

01:04:34   flanks over every street slavery will [TS]

01:04:37   last only a short time longer [TS]

01:04:40   oh man right there implying of course [TS]

01:04:44   slavery to the to the Jewish communists [TS]

01:04:46   overloads but they're also leaving a [TS]

01:04:48   little wiggle room in their slavery will [TS]

01:04:51   last only a short time longer but they [TS]

01:04:53   don't stay don't specify how much like [TS]

01:04:56   that's like the universe being created [TS]

01:04:57   in seven days you know what I mean like [TS]

01:04:59   slavery [TS]

01:05:00   we might have to have a little bit of [TS]

01:05:01   slavery to but just a little [TS]

01:05:04   imagine being of I'm are a genius and [TS]

01:05:07   having to hear those lyrics could you [TS]

01:05:08   could you imagine being like kurt vile [TS]

01:05:11   and happy to sit around and listen to [TS]

01:05:12   that shit [TS]

01:05:12   yeah sitting and sitting in your like [TS]

01:05:14   ornately decorated like sitting sitting [TS]

01:05:16   there with this just the the ease with [TS]

01:05:18   which so many of the artistic geniuses [TS]

01:05:21   of that decade created so much amazing [TS]

01:05:23   stuff that should have lasted there [TS]

01:05:26   they're the ones that should last a [TS]

01:05:27   fucking thousand years you're in your [TS]

01:05:29   fitness akala partment you have your [TS]

01:05:32   beautiful like Klimt paintings on the [TS]

01:05:34   walls [TS]

01:05:35   you're taking a little bit of snuff off [TS]

01:05:37   of your extra-long pinky fingernail got [TS]

01:05:39   a radio these ding-dongs are out in the [TS]

01:05:42   street outside marching singing this [TS]

01:05:44   asshole song you know i will get i will [TS]

01:05:46   give them i will i will give them that [TS]

01:05:49   that might not be a generous translation [TS]

01:05:51   as with stuff like let's say like [TS]

01:05:53   Beethoven's like ode to joy when you [TS]

01:05:55   hear it when you hear the words in [TS]

01:05:57   English certainly not nearly as cool so [TS]

01:05:59   I'll give them that maybe that sounds [TS]

01:06:01   great with with a marshal beat you know [TS]

01:06:04   but the book that's terrible terrible [TS]

01:06:06   lyrics and and for the amount of [TS]

01:06:08   specificity that went into that it was [TS]

01:06:10   not really that historically useful and [TS]

01:06:13   it was not really that rousing fucking [TS]

01:06:15   Hitler flag over every street over every [TS]

01:06:18   street that part came true [TS]

01:06:20   mm-hmm yeah I i guess you know why they [TS]

01:06:25   got the Brownshirts right you got them [TS]

01:06:27   all over the goddamn bulk they were you [TS]

01:06:30   guys didn't I think that exactly i think [TS]

01:06:34   a bunch of people said like we don't [TS]

01:06:36   need let's drop these off at das good [TS]

01:06:37   will they were the summer they were the [TS]

01:06:40   unused summer uniforms lever from 41 [TS]

01:06:43   represent nordstrom and his longtime [TS]

01:06:45   companion were walking through thrift [TS]

01:06:47   stores they were doing was called us [TS]

01:06:48   drifting through and they said dr. [TS]

01:06:50   Lieber looks pretty nice shirts off [TS]

01:06:53   Braun scheisse [TS]

01:06:54   yeah shuts off Braun yeah they were like [TS]

01:06:56   we can get these for pennies on the [TS]

01:06:57   dollar at but you know what the you know [TS]

01:06:59   what the innovation one that's according [TS]

01:07:01   lochinver Brownshirts stores inchasa [TS]

01:07:04   that if the innovation was not the brown [TS]

01:07:06   shirt the innovation was the black tie [TS]

01:07:09   oh it's a it's a smart super duper gay [TS]

01:07:11   look you know what I mean like brown [TS]

01:07:13   shirt sure you look like you look like a [TS]

01:07:15   lion tamer at the zoo but you put a [TS]

01:07:17   black tie on that it looked like a [TS]

01:07:20   docent really yeah yeah yeah and those [TS]

01:07:24   fruity hats [TS]

01:07:25   it's hate a lot of thought went into [TS]

01:07:28   that there's others actually a whole [TS]

01:07:29   book I never I never finished but [TS]

01:07:31   there's a whole book about the like [TS]

01:07:33   homoerotic like of course they would [TS]

01:07:36   never say it was deliberate but like the [TS]

01:07:38   SS uniforms man you know who you know [TS]

01:07:40   who was one of the main Taylor's of the [TS]

01:07:42   SS uniforms loss what Hugo Boss maybe [TS]

01:07:48   it's a real hugo boss hugo boss did not [TS]

01:07:51   he didn't design the Nazi uniforms but [TS]

01:07:53   the hugo boss company and hugo boss what [TS]

01:07:56   were one of the main manufacturers of [TS]

01:07:59   Nazi uniforms made this ties leather [TS]

01:08:03   trench coats the bear bear bear bear [TS]

01:08:08   filing shy about the aspirin makers bear [TS]

01:08:14   right [TS]

01:08:14   crappie drops made that made the hats [TS]

01:08:17   they made the big move those little [TS]

01:08:18   blender milkshake maker drawn made the [TS]

01:08:20   shirts and the razors and the razors and [TS]

01:08:24   the Volkswagen made the shoes [TS]

01:08:27   that's right and nobody made the trains [TS]

01:08:29   run on [TS]

01:08:30   my god it's fucking Pope flag and [TS]

01:08:34   cursing you know I need a pope like to [TS]

01:08:37   i-i-i thought for a while that it was [TS]

01:08:39   going to be this boba fett a life-size [TS]

01:08:41   boba fett helmet on a on a popsicle [TS]

01:08:43   stick your head on a pike [TS]

01:08:48   yeah nobody rally to me I was I'd wave [TS]

01:08:50   it around and people just [TS]