Roderick on the Line

Ep. 59: "Insufferabilityism"


00:00:00   hello John better then ma'am that's gone [TS]

00:00:12   remember when we used to do a podcast i [TS]

00:00:18   think i do ya back in the eighties had I [TS]

00:00:22   thought how I don't apologize you're [TS]

00:00:24   eating a snickers bar getting a Snickers [TS]

00:00:25   bar you know when time is of the essence [TS]

00:00:30   and I this podcast in the morning [TS]

00:00:32   sometimes i'm eating a morning cookie or [TS]

00:00:35   a morning cake [TS]

00:00:36   no I'mI'm gonna see this TV this is [TS]

00:00:39   where on your time now this is night we [TS]

00:00:43   are night podcasting here's the problem [TS]

00:00:45   alki the new get I know Mom [TS]

00:00:49   m-maybe started for listeners that I you [TS]

00:00:54   know dr. the judge about whether there's [TS]

00:00:57   a difference but we usually record in [TS]

00:00:59   something closer to the morning my time [TS]

00:01:01   but it's it's literally the middle of [TS]

00:01:03   the night right now it's the middle of [TS]

00:01:05   the night and we were texting yeah and [TS]

00:01:08   you said yeah I'm trying to make a plan [TS]

00:01:10   to podcast yeah you're like oh we could [TS]

00:01:13   do it friday we could do it son thursday [TS]

00:01:17   and then out of nowhere [TS]

00:01:22   you said we could do it right now yeah [TS]

00:01:24   i'm a child you know and I was like wow [TS]

00:01:27   yeah I said were John you've been you've [TS]

00:01:31   been busy than working and in your home [TS]

00:01:34   I figured you would you know need some [TS]

00:01:36   time to unwind and i'm home but here's [TS]

00:01:38   the thing this is the thing about manic [TS]

00:01:41   depression doesn't think about [TS]

00:01:43   bipolarism which is that I am I have [TS]

00:01:50   been working for the last month and I'm [TS]

00:01:52   so wound up now i'm not talking about [TS]

00:01:56   like wound up tonight i'm talking about [TS]

00:01:57   i am bipolar lee i am maniacally wound [TS]

00:02:04   up [TS]

00:02:05   so that if you said to be right now that [TS]

00:02:08   get in your car and drive to San [TS]

00:02:09   Francisco I would seriously consider it [TS]

00:02:13   really if you use that if somebody [TS]

00:02:15   called me right now and said let's get [TS]

00:02:16   married tonight [TS]

00:02:18   hi i would not even need them to send me [TS]

00:02:21   a picture i would say you know what [TS]

00:02:25   let's go let's get married tonight [TS]

00:02:27   yeah that sounds great let's start a [TS]

00:02:30   band and just give me a given address [TS]

00:02:33   and i'll be there [TS]

00:02:34   yeah I got home last night from a month [TS]

00:02:37   away [TS]

00:02:38   ah i did three shows last weekend in New [TS]

00:02:41   York City that were like all three of [TS]

00:02:46   them crazy and then I can I got home [TS]

00:02:48   last night at like ten o'clock at night [TS]

00:02:50   and I was on morning television this [TS]

00:02:52   morning at 9am and then I spent all day [TS]

00:02:55   at rei making fake videos for people and [TS]

00:02:59   then I went to christmas party and then [TS]

00:03:01   I went out for drinks and I don't even [TS]

00:03:03   drink [TS]

00:03:04   no one knows that that's for work [TS]

00:03:07   that's at how do you do that i mean now [TS]

00:03:09   i'm going home and i'm looking at [TS]

00:03:10   pictures of turtles on the internet food [TS]

00:03:12   and it's just not enough if I mean you [TS]

00:03:16   know there was a time even a few months [TS]

00:03:17   ago Marilyn you know that i would have [TS]

00:03:19   been looking at pictures of turtles on [TS]

00:03:21   the internet would have been like a week [TS]

00:03:22   for me that would have been I would've [TS]

00:03:24   been done but tonight it's not enough [TS]

00:03:26   not enough right Polly you know just [TS]

00:03:28   apologize for the new get so let me stop [TS]

00:03:32   giving something for my ears to grab [TS]

00:03:33   onto i'm still working through the [TS]

00:03:35   nougat who I hear you're my god this is [TS]

00:03:38   fantastic John so you've been away for a [TS]

00:03:40   month that's remarkable so so we want a [TS]

00:03:44   coach without with jonathan is a [TS]

00:03:47   retinues of the whole time [TS]

00:03:49   well you know it started a month ago as [TS]

00:03:51   i as i said earlier i was in I was in [TS]

00:03:54   Europe with keen on their tour bus and I [TS]

00:03:57   don't sleep well on tour buses because [TS]

00:03:59   tour buses are a tour bus is just a [TS]

00:04:02   regular bus that has had coffins install [TS]

00:04:05   them [TS]

00:04:07   Anna and some couches it's on coffee bus [TS]

00:04:10   yeah so they take a normal buzz and they [TS]

00:04:13   put they put like five circle buses in [TS]

00:04:16   it and I am NOT as you know i'm not [TS]

00:04:21   normally sighs and so here you are [TS]

00:04:24   plus-sized and plus size so when they're [TS]

00:04:26   building these when they're building a [TS]

00:04:27   sarcophagus bus they say average-sized [TS]

00:04:31   guy 5-foot especially in Europe you by [TS]

00:04:33   Europeans each other very tailored yeah [TS]

00:04:35   yeah that's right and then I think it's [TS]

00:04:37   from England is that right there for me [TS]

00:04:38   in blank as we say over England and they [TS]

00:04:42   had and so wewe but we didn't we never [TS]

00:04:44   went to two dangling we were in Scotland [TS]

00:04:46   and we were in Ireland together and I [TS]

00:04:50   got sick over there and I didn't sleep [TS]

00:04:51   and then I flew to san francisco and i [TS]

00:04:53   played neil diamond in the last waltz [TS]

00:04:55   and I didn't sleep in San Francisco [TS]

00:04:56   either i just lay in my expensive hotel [TS]

00:04:59   bed and I sweated I just sweated if we [TS]

00:05:03   like feverish I was feverish Jessa [TS]

00:05:06   stress bob i did not i had a diet of I I [TS]

00:05:09   had I had so much fever that a stress [TS]

00:05:12   bump couldn't survive you had an [TS]

00:05:13   honest-to-god according to Hoyle fever I [TS]

00:05:16   was so feverish and sweaty in San [TS]

00:05:19   Francisco that there were you know there [TS]

00:05:23   are clubs in the castro that wouldn't [TS]

00:05:24   even that wouldn't even let me come in [TS]

00:05:27   there and pay fifty dollars to sweat on [TS]

00:05:30   people which is as you know a big thing [TS]

00:05:33   in the castro a huge yeah I mean you [TS]

00:05:36   know a big hairy sweaty guy in the [TS]

00:05:38   castro is usually a major draw through [TS]

00:05:41   but i was so hot i was so hot i would [TS]

00:05:45   have burned people's bitches bitches [TS]

00:05:48   like see things where I mean like you [TS]

00:05:50   know like when i get if you want to get [TS]

00:05:51   a fever I like a really bad one [TS]

00:05:55   yeah you know I don't say hallucinate [TS]

00:05:58   but I definitely a lot of crazy thoughts [TS]

00:05:59   I kept seeing eggs benedict show up in [TS]

00:06:02   my hotel room and then I realized I was [TS]

00:06:04   ordering it from room service [TS]

00:06:06   so then I flew from San Francisco to San [TS]

00:06:10   Diego where I met Jonathan Coulton his [TS]

00:06:11   traveling retinue and we drove across [TS]

00:06:14   the American South and his tour bus and [TS]

00:06:17   then I fluted new york city and i did a [TS]

00:06:19   bunch of NPR shows and I you know went [TS]

00:06:23   on a further rampage and by the time I [TS]

00:06:25   got back here I realized that I'm in no [TS]

00:06:27   condition to be in seattle there's not [TS]

00:06:29   there's not a there is no 24-hour roast [TS]

00:06:32   beef sandwich depot here and i am i'm [TS]

00:06:36   just sitting here now looking at turtles [TS]

00:06:37   on the internet and I am Here I am I'm [TS]

00:06:39   concerned so tomorrow yeah tomorrow i'm [TS]

00:06:42   going i'm doing a video shoot and the [TS]

00:06:47   people who are putting on the video [TS]

00:06:48   shoot have promised me that there is not [TS]

00:06:51   only going to be a live reindeer at this [TS]

00:06:56   video shoot where i am playing Santa but [TS]

00:07:00   there is also going to be a real-life [TS]

00:07:01   camel and said that is enough that is [TS]

00:07:06   enough for me tomorrow like that that [TS]

00:07:08   that a little alone on my calendar feels [TS]

00:07:11   like okay that's enough for tomorrow if [TS]

00:07:13   I do you for sure that's real that part [TS]

00:07:15   if I sing because I'm supposed to just [TS]

00:07:17   be dressed as Santa I'm supposed to sing [TS]

00:07:19   the song with the ukulele and the [TS]

00:07:21   suggestion has been made that I'm going [TS]

00:07:22   to sing the song to the Campbell sure [TS]

00:07:25   and it's happens i'm not sure is that on [TS]

00:07:28   the call sheet you hear the doubt in my [TS]

00:07:30   voice but if I do I I hear you I hear [TS]

00:07:33   you pausing on the word camel am [TS]

00:07:36   completely and thinking is this egg's [TS]

00:07:38   Benedict yeah exactly at but if it [TS]

00:07:41   happens [TS]

00:07:41   uh-huh tomorrow then tomorrow I'm gonna [TS]

00:07:43   put a little check mark next to its not [TS]

00:07:45   literally be the biggest month of your [TS]

00:07:46   life yet [TS]

00:07:47   and then the next day of course is my [TS]

00:07:50   big day where I play Santa Claus and all [TS]

00:07:52   the dirty girls common citizen and tell [TS]

00:07:55   me what they tell me all the bad things [TS]

00:07:57   they did and then I give them a little [TS]

00:07:58   swat is it a form of Absolution in some [TS]

00:08:02   ways I mean like we know look at you [TS]

00:08:03   know mutually consensual absolution you [TS]

00:08:07   know I've seen ICU now on twitter [TS]

00:08:09   talking to my friend the next time to [TS]

00:08:11   that to the prof to the American Anakin [TS]

00:08:14   bra and I and I feel like now this [TS]

00:08:16   concept of flagellation and [TS]

00:08:19   absolution it's it's in the air now who [TS]

00:08:22   we need we need to swing settle back [TS]

00:08:24   down we need to stop talking to priest [TS]

00:08:26   on the internet even even young hip [TS]

00:08:29   crease that watch youtube videos when [TS]

00:08:31   you get back to our core values Merlin [TS]

00:08:33   you and me just talking without [TS]

00:08:36   restarting lot of just you know what you [TS]

00:08:38   need [TS]

00:08:39   I'm Ashley like and they're not a big [TS]

00:08:41   comic reader but like you need alcohol [TS]

00:08:43   up we're only worry is a little like [TS]

00:08:49   literally it's literally midnight and [TS]

00:08:51   I'm so angry you for your already [TS]

00:08:53   prescribing me some x-men like you know [TS]

00:08:56   what you need [TS]

00:08:57   here's the thing John you need not detox [TS]

00:09:00   but you need some kind of a dmz you need [TS]

00:09:02   to pass through some kind of his own [TS]

00:09:04   you know what I mean unique because the [TS]

00:09:06   thing is I'm not sure going from all of [TS]

00:09:08   the madness you've been through and the [TS]

00:09:09   fevers and the eggs straight back to [TS]

00:09:12   your home is the best thing I mean thank [TS]

00:09:14   God you know turtles are there right but [TS]

00:09:16   you need to pass through some area where [TS]

00:09:18   you can like burn that off right well [TS]

00:09:20   this is what I'm worried about a because [TS]

00:09:23   i don't want to go you know when you are [TS]

00:09:25   when you are manic you don't want to go [TS]

00:09:27   back to depressed know you want to stay [TS]

00:09:29   and mannequins manic is great even [TS]

00:09:31   though even though i'm literally sitting [TS]

00:09:34   here burning the lake hair offer monthly [TS]

00:09:36   like that like this job but you don't [TS]

00:09:41   you don't want to put this John John you [TS]

00:09:45   put this John back in a sarcophagus bus [TS]

00:09:47   and you bring up plumber John again he [TS]

00:09:50   was like oh all these books that I'll [TS]

00:09:52   never read of all the lips I'll never [TS]

00:09:56   kiss [TS]

00:09:57   yeah who wants that guy around he was [TS]

00:10:00   not about past to vegas it seems like [TS]

00:10:01   Vegas like you go in there and it's it's [TS]

00:10:04   it's an energy sink you could go to [TS]

00:10:07   Vegas it's not a fun place to be [TS]

00:10:09   contrary to popular opinion but you [TS]

00:10:11   could go to Vegas and it could really [TS]

00:10:12   take the mickey out of you you come home [TS]

00:10:14   your likes your water your plants and go [TS]

00:10:16   to sleep like a gentleman is Las Vegas [TS]

00:10:19   the worst is though that the worst it's [TS]

00:10:23   absolutely the worst and it's the worst [TS]

00:10:25   in a way that I am incapable of enjoying [TS]

00:10:27   them you know I enjoyed it [TS]

00:10:29   terrible things yeah [TS]

00:10:30   but there's nothing about Las Vegas that [TS]

00:10:32   i can even I can I cannot winch myself [TS]

00:10:36   into a posture where I'm enjoying myself [TS]

00:10:39   how do you feel in a casino I I feel I [TS]

00:10:42   feel like like there are spiders [TS]

00:10:45   crawling on me feel menaced every I [TS]

00:10:47   really do I feel it it will even like [TS]

00:10:50   the strip club with ladies I want to [TS]

00:10:51   talk to you i just feel like it's just [TS]

00:10:53   it's all everyone can do to not just [TS]

00:10:56   like attack me for money and and it's [TS]

00:10:59   just there's the ETA we talked about [TS]

00:11:01   this you know about like how all the [TS]

00:11:03   slot machines and everything are like [TS]

00:11:05   all tuned to see they're playing like a [TS]

00:11:07   veggie ozz removing that's crazy-making [TS]

00:11:12   but here's the thing for a man like you [TS]

00:11:15   who who is cycling in and give a very [TS]

00:11:17   bad proactive way you know that could be [TS]

00:11:20   a good place to burn it off a little bit [TS]

00:11:21   maybe get some shows and here's the [TS]

00:11:23   problem i have too much empathy for [TS]

00:11:25   desperate people and so I walk through [TS]

00:11:28   the thing and I cannot take any [TS]

00:11:29   enjoyment because I because everywhere I [TS]

00:11:31   looked there is someone who is putting [TS]

00:11:33   literally their last quarter in the [TS]

00:11:37   machine who and then watching all their [TS]

00:11:40   help drain away get you want to relocate [TS]

00:11:43   cool and I don't and it's just it's like [TS]

00:11:47   it's all over me it's all over me like [TS]

00:11:50   rancid butter i can do you think you [TS]

00:11:53   want to reach out to them do you want to [TS]

00:11:54   like help [TS]

00:11:55   well I i do but i want to help them I [TS]

00:11:58   mean you know I want to help them like [TS]

00:12:02   Mengele wanted to help people [TS]

00:12:04   yes science like science studies science [TS]

00:12:07   hey what ru signs to to put them in tubs [TS]

00:12:10   like water see how cold they can get [TS]

00:12:12   twins [TS]

00:12:13   it's not it's not a healthy desired LLC [TS]

00:12:16   which twin thrives you're saying you [TS]

00:12:20   want to get out there and say look [TS]

00:12:21   you're not in a good place right now [TS]

00:12:23   right right i would you like to run an [TS]

00:12:25   obstacle course [TS]

00:12:27   listen I know you have to be getting on [TS]

00:12:30   a roller coaster going on the mall I [TS]

00:12:32   know emphysema how drive to go to the [TS]

00:12:34   buffet with me and let's see how much [TS]

00:12:35   you can eat [TS]

00:12:36   I mean literally how much you can [TS]

00:12:38   how bout you can actually like a seven [TS]

00:12:41   type situation like so much they get you [TS]

00:12:43   can really put down exactly how much of [TS]

00:12:46   your body can you cut away with a knife [TS]

00:12:47   right now you're not done yet salad up [TS]

00:12:51   I'm and I worried for myself I want [TS]

00:12:54   another Napoleon said I know when I get [TS]

00:12:56   in these manic phases i start to i start [TS]

00:12:58   to talk to people like I really can do [TS]

00:13:01   magic real magic don't not like i was [TS]

00:13:06   the original in the last three weeks [TS]

00:13:08   have been talking to people like I can [TS]

00:13:10   do magic and everyone so well somebody [TS]

00:13:11   totally believes me and I know then I [TS]

00:13:14   know that the two of us are gonna go uh [TS]

00:13:16   go ride the subway together [TS]

00:13:17   how does that evidence itself I mean DD [TS]

00:13:20   someone who needs help they reach out to [TS]

00:13:22   you or do you just you just sense that [TS]

00:13:24   someone needs it needs a little bit of [TS]

00:13:25   John you know hunches I'm swinging [TS]

00:13:28   through life on a vine and a handset and [TS]

00:13:32   and then somebody answers my monkey call [TS]

00:13:34   in oh you're terrible idea why do we do [TS]

00:13:40   this here I come [TS]

00:13:41   yeah yeah you want a lot of Las Vegas is [TS]

00:13:44   one of those things it's it's it's a [TS]

00:13:47   it's difficult to describe the right Las [TS]

00:13:51   Vegas is what you end up using as an [TS]

00:13:52   analogy for something else because it's [TS]

00:13:55   it's hard to describe like how perfectly [TS]

00:13:57   awful it is in so many ways it's just [TS]

00:14:01   it's the worst of everything about [TS]

00:14:02   people and America the top the the best [TS]

00:14:06   thing about Las Vegas is the worst best [TS]

00:14:09   thing [TS]

00:14:10   yeah and though and the lowest most [TS]

00:14:12   degraded place in Las Vegas is the worst [TS]

00:14:14   of all places like an existential [TS]

00:14:16   compressor limiter yeah right exactly [TS]

00:14:20   and if I mean like it is it's very [TS]

00:14:22   poorly calibrated but I mean the fact [TS]

00:14:24   that like you know I arrived I forget [TS]

00:14:26   sometimes a low-pass filter like helpful [TS]

00:14:28   all of life's highs are just eliminated [TS]

00:14:31   all the Roloffs is called yeah that's [TS]

00:14:33   right all you get is farting sound so [TS]

00:14:35   good boy [TS]

00:14:37   heavy breathing in parts the thing that [TS]

00:14:39   strikes me is I i have in Las Vegas [TS]

00:14:40   maybe like three times or Andrey now [TS]

00:14:43   gambling locations but las vegas in [TS]

00:14:45   particular you arrive there and it's [TS]

00:14:46   also exciting and it's it's just so much [TS]

00:14:49   going on it's like Disney World you go [TS]

00:14:50   there and there's slot machines and [TS]

00:14:52   everything is exciting and like the part [TS]

00:14:55   that always strikes me is that like that [TS]

00:14:56   there's slot machines by the terminals [TS]

00:14:59   in the airport and it's like people but [TS]

00:15:01   people like playing the slots and like [TS]

00:15:05   the same thing that I go oh this is i [TS]

00:15:07   arrived i gotta carry on i get off and [TS]

00:15:09   go oh this is exciting it's Las Vegas [TS]

00:15:12   people are playing slot machines and [TS]

00:15:14   then i'm leaving i'm like fock it's Las [TS]

00:15:17   Vegas people are playing slot machines [TS]

00:15:19   it's what I mean that very same thing [TS]

00:15:22   it's just it's it's it a it is to bring [TS]

00:15:26   down for me like two days in Las Vegas [TS]

00:15:28   and I'm ready to go [TS]

00:15:29   that's it I'm done the only thing that [TS]

00:15:31   interests me about Las Vegas is those [TS]

00:15:33   unmarked 727 that fly out of the las [TS]

00:15:37   vegas airport to area 51 seconds those [TS]

00:15:43   things i'm fascinated by you know [TS]

00:15:45   there's a special their special terminal [TS]

00:15:47   velocity vegas airport where the [TS]

00:15:49   airplanes have no exterior markings [TS]

00:15:51   events such as a side note is definitely [TS]

00:15:53   a thing was always gentle is a fever [TS]

00:15:55   thing [TS]

00:15:55   no no this is a real thing ok there they [TS]

00:15:58   are jumbo jets not jumbo jets but [TS]

00:16:00   they're medium-sized jets who commercial [TS]

00:16:02   airliners yeah but they have no markings [TS]

00:16:04   of any kind of people get on them and [TS]

00:16:06   they fly into the desert because that's [TS]

00:16:10   the only way you can get to area 51 they [TS]

00:16:13   don't you there's no there's no they [TS]

00:16:14   don't let you drive their shuttle is not [TS]

00:16:17   a shuttle you don't like you don't show [TS]

00:16:19   up and like show your ID card area 51 [TS]

00:16:21   because area 51 doesn't exist so the [TS]

00:16:24   only way you can get theirs from the las [TS]

00:16:25   vegas airport and there are these [TS]

00:16:27   airplanes that don't have any markings [TS]

00:16:28   that just shuttle people back and forth [TS]

00:16:31   to all these secret military bases in [TS]

00:16:34   the Nevada desert and that fascinates me [TS]

00:16:37   I will sit with binoculars and watch [TS]

00:16:39   that happen also liked it as much you [TS]

00:16:41   can say like what kind of credentials do [TS]

00:16:43   you show to get even near one of those [TS]

00:16:45   planes have who goes is shield nations [TS]

00:16:48   like glucose on this [TS]

00:16:50   well I have to imagine that that most of [TS]

00:16:52   the people most of the people are just [TS]

00:16:54   like government called [TS]

00:16:56   right i mean it if they are conducting [TS]

00:17:00   alien autopsies and area 51 [TS]

00:17:02   they're not doing it like like in a good [TS]

00:17:05   morning america situation with a window [TS]

00:17:07   in Times Square they're probably doing [TS]

00:17:10   it in a basement room somewhere and most [TS]

00:17:12   of the other people they're just pushing [TS]

00:17:14   brooms are there you know they're there [TS]

00:17:16   toggling knobs are they're rewriting [TS]

00:17:17   encryptions or whatever it is that [TS]

00:17:19   people in secret military one this is [TS]

00:17:21   the thing about government is that we go [TS]

00:17:22   again we talked about the government [TS]

00:17:24   like it's this big you know this big wad [TS]

00:17:27   of stuff and really it's a bunch of [TS]

00:17:29   people with boring jobs right by and [TS]

00:17:31   large if you're not if you're not an [TS]

00:17:32   operative like you're if you're an [TS]

00:17:34   operative a lot of what you do is sit [TS]

00:17:35   there with binoculars like waiting for [TS]

00:17:36   something to change [TS]

00:17:37   yeah i mean there there are people that [TS]

00:17:39   live in Las Vegas the flat area 51 on a [TS]

00:17:42   secret military jet and they get there [TS]

00:17:44   and what they do all day is the total [TS]

00:17:46   their space pen in picking between their [TS]

00:17:48   fingers and they watch one gauge to make [TS]

00:17:51   sure that it doesn't go into the red [TS]

00:17:53   zone over there just like they're just [TS]

00:17:55   dopes the regular dopes you don't worry [TS]

00:17:56   three comics and so-and-so you watch you [TS]

00:17:59   watch one gauge and you're saying that [TS]

00:18:00   this could be an energy change it could [TS]

00:18:01   be psionics hmm I you know if they are [TS]

00:18:05   if they're monitoring psionics with [TS]

00:18:07   gauges there are better the guy watching [TS]

00:18:09   the gauge doesn't know what the gauge [TS]

00:18:10   measures [TS]

00:18:11   I bet they're just like don't let it go [TS]

00:18:13   into the red if it doesn't hold [TS]

00:18:15   deniability you bring in a gauge guy [TS]

00:18:17   rather than a psionic guy exactly the [TS]

00:18:20   psionic guys isn't watching the games [TS]

00:18:22   back in DC and your guy was his name [TS]

00:18:24   exactly God must drive you crazy you're [TS]

00:18:29   sitting there and you're watching these [TS]

00:18:30   unmarked planes take off the most [TS]

00:18:31   traffic bananas it does it drives me [TS]

00:18:34   crazy because I know out there in the [TS]

00:18:35   desert they really are working on [TS]

00:18:37   something i don't know what it is no [TS]

00:18:38   question [TS]

00:18:39   yeah they're working on something and [TS]

00:18:40   the fact and the fact that it's not that [TS]

00:18:42   I'm not alone and driving me crazy [TS]

00:18:44   I mean it doesn't keep me up at night [TS]

00:18:45   like some cooks but he's got the things [TS]

00:18:48   to keep you up and you get to get us I'm [TS]

00:18:50   worried that my pillows are turning into [TS]

00:18:51   owls I'm not worried about secret [TS]

00:18:53   airplanes so much camper this thing John [TS]

00:18:55   and you like the uninstall opens las [TS]

00:18:57   vegas it's already a little bit of a [TS]

00:18:59   Black Swan like what why the fuck is Las [TS]

00:19:01   Vegas there i guess it was a stop off [TS]

00:19:02   for troops right [TS]

00:19:04   because it's never like a rail line [TS]

00:19:05   right and maybe you know they built that [TS]

00:19:07   dam right down the road and a lot of [TS]

00:19:10   there are a lot of guys coming up from [TS]

00:19:11   building that damn and spending their [TS]

00:19:13   money in the tent city who ever you know [TS]

00:19:16   where their guys building a dam they're [TS]

00:19:18   gonna be hookers [TS]

00:19:20   yes that's is all that's as old as as [TS]

00:19:22   Cheops 30 works you know what I mean you [TS]

00:19:27   know the damn huh [TS]

00:19:28   we're gonna find a hugger Sharon right [TS]

00:19:30   after that there's that you know then [TS]

00:19:32   there's gaming in the Gaming Commission [TS]

00:19:33   kaming i love that term but here's the [TS]

00:19:36   thing John nobody's going to fly into it [TS]

00:19:38   desert for no reason I mean if you're [TS]

00:19:40   going to if you're going to like it [TS]

00:19:42   he's told us it is costly to gas up a [TS]

00:19:44   plane ticket somewhere not gas but you [TS]

00:19:45   know fuel plane and take it someplace [TS]

00:19:47   right didn't I gasps yeah but you're not [TS]

00:19:50   gonna do that just for fun if you're [TS]

00:19:52   gonna make that like a regular thing [TS]

00:19:53   there's a reason there's some kind of a [TS]

00:19:55   process in place there and i'm just [TS]

00:19:57   guessing as a man with a minus active is [TS]

00:19:59   your own you must be turning that over [TS]

00:20:01   in your head you're sitting there you're [TS]

00:20:03   you're looking at the details magazine [TS]

00:20:05   and thinking about the things that [TS]

00:20:07   you're seeing here is the problem though [TS]

00:20:09   I agree with you one hundred percent [TS]

00:20:11   until I think about my own father who [TS]

00:20:13   routinely gassed up his plane and flew [TS]

00:20:16   circles in the sky for no fucking reason [TS]

00:20:17   he thinks also apparently apparently he [TS]

00:20:21   was just giving you know i would go up [TS]

00:20:23   to them and be like what are you doing [TS]

00:20:24   he's like I'm looking at the map and I'm [TS]

00:20:25   like yeah i know you're looking at the [TS]

00:20:27   map but why we why we 6,000 feet in the [TS]

00:20:29   air was practicing know he's been flying [TS]

00:20:32   since he was 27 years old he knows how [TS]

00:20:35   to do it [TS]

00:20:36   no he just likes to gas up the plane and [TS]

00:20:38   go fly and maybe bit maybe the air [TS]

00:20:40   force's the same maybe they aren't [TS]

00:20:43   really running secret ops maybe they're [TS]

00:20:45   just maybe they're just dicking around [TS]

00:20:48   so maybe like they're playing grab-ass [TS]

00:20:52   maybe the entire US Air Force just a [TS]

00:20:54   game of grab-ass yes but it's a really [TS]

00:20:56   strategic grass so maybe Las Vegas is a [TS]

00:20:59   kind of distraction [TS]

00:21:00   I mean obviously on any number of levels [TS]

00:21:02   but you get everybody looking over here [TS]

00:21:04   hey look over here it's a pyramid [TS]

00:21:06   made out of black jack but don't look [TS]

00:21:08   over here right because that's where the [TS]

00:21:11   real action is [TS]

00:21:12   well so okay so I so so i was pretty [TS]

00:21:14   fine with I was pretty soon I was pretty [TS]

00:21:16   okay with believing that whatever UFOs [TS]

00:21:21   were it didn't matter i didn't care and [TS]

00:21:24   I was driving down the road today i've [TS]

00:21:26   been i thought you know for the last [TS]

00:21:28   four years I've pretty much been okay [TS]

00:21:31   with the idea that whatever UFOs are I [TS]

00:21:33   don't know and I don't care I really [TS]

00:21:35   don't care i don't i'm not gonna vote [TS]

00:21:37   one way or the other I am I am [TS]

00:21:39   reasonably convinced either way that [TS]

00:21:42   either yes they are real or no they're [TS]

00:21:43   not [TS]

00:21:44   which is the same as how i feel about [TS]

00:21:46   god i was gonna say and ask alice UFO [TS]

00:21:49   wager [TS]

00:21:50   yeah it's exactly they're like a fine i [TS]

00:21:53   did their unidentified for a reason [TS]

00:21:55   precisely like like they're there [TS]

00:21:58   you know i i'm i am I going to sit in an [TS]

00:22:01   airport and argue with the Hari Krishna [TS]

00:22:02   about our Christian is no i'm not i'm [TS]

00:22:06   just getting on with it anyway I'm [TS]

00:22:08   driving down the street i'm stuck in [TS]

00:22:09   traffic i'm headed to the new day [TS]

00:22:13   northwest on King 5 TV and all of a [TS]

00:22:18   sudden eyes I say to myself but wait a [TS]

00:22:21   minute if somewhat because let me back [TS]

00:22:26   let me back up a little bit when we were [TS]

00:22:28   on tour we went to we went to Mission [TS]

00:22:30   Control Houston [TS]

00:22:31   oh yes I cool photo that and then we [TS]

00:22:34   went to Mass and we went to Mission [TS]

00:22:35   Control and we're walking around and [TS]

00:22:37   it's all very awesome and it's like [TS]

00:22:39   amazing to be there especially because [TS]

00:22:41   they have they have maintained the [TS]

00:22:44   Apollo era Mission Control as a kind of [TS]

00:22:48   like living not issuing a shrine [TS]

00:22:51   it's just a shrine it just sits there [TS]

00:22:52   and you walk in and you sit down and at [TS]

00:22:54   launch control and you're like okay or [TS]

00:22:56   not launch control but like like you're [TS]

00:22:59   sitting there where they all were for [TS]

00:23:01   all for everything you're like it's just [TS]

00:23:03   like it's just the same i'm pushing the [TS]

00:23:05   same fucking buttons [TS]

00:23:07   anyway they tourists around we see that [TS]

00:23:09   we see the space station we go out and [TS]

00:23:11   they they take a our friend takes us out [TS]

00:23:14   to the warehouse where they have all the [TS]

00:23:16   capsules the actual [TS]

00:23:18   life-size mock-ups and my whole life as [TS]

00:23:22   as we all have done I've said if I got [TS]

00:23:26   the opportunity to be an astronaut of [TS]

00:23:27   course i would be an astronaut like [TS]

00:23:29   that's the best job ever [TS]

00:23:31   right yeah don't you think that same [TS]

00:23:33   thing oh I absolutely i mean i-i was at [TS]

00:23:36   the tail end of that I think that's [TS]

00:23:38   something very much started you know in [TS]

00:23:40   in the in the fifties with the whole [TS]

00:23:42   idea that there might be a space program [TS]

00:23:44   I was at you and I were both at the tail [TS]

00:23:46   end like having grown up taking photos [TS]

00:23:49   of the television when Neil Armstrong [TS]

00:23:52   remember that [TS]

00:23:52   hey everybody everybody their family has [TS]

00:23:54   photos of the television screen and it [TS]

00:23:57   was absolutely the coolest thing in the [TS]

00:23:58   world [TS]

00:23:59   yeah amazing until you're sitting in the [TS]

00:24:02   warehouse really anything i'm not [TS]

00:24:03   talking about the smithsonian [TS]

00:24:04   institution where you're looking at the [TS]

00:24:06   capsule in the museum and you're like [TS]

00:24:08   wow cool but you're at NASA and you're [TS]

00:24:12   looking at the ones they used to train [TS]

00:24:14   and I looked in this thing and I'm like [TS]

00:24:16   holy shit it's really small to climb [TS]

00:24:20   into that you would have to be in seen [TS]

00:24:22   there's like there's like five things [TS]

00:24:25   about it that would make me [TS]

00:24:27   uncomfortable just thinking about it [TS]

00:24:28   it's it wasn't like upside-down it's [TS]

00:24:31   tiny and everybody bars right well and [TS]

00:24:34   you're strapped onto a stick of dynamite [TS]

00:24:36   and you are shot into space and about [TS]

00:24:40   that trip to the moon took a week [TS]

00:24:42   it took a week friendlier yes and [TS]

00:24:45   they're strapped into this thing that is [TS]

00:24:47   basically the size of a bookcase three [TS]

00:24:50   guys strapped into a bookcase and [TS]

00:24:52   optimistic diner that sounds WAY worse [TS]

00:24:54   than clothes plus it is so bad and yeah [TS]

00:24:57   and it's not just that they're sitting [TS]

00:24:59   there and then there's a window it's [TS]

00:25:00   like they're sitting there there's a [TS]

00:25:01   solid steel bulkhead three inches from [TS]

00:25:03   their face [TS]

00:25:04   oh and they're flying in this there [TS]

00:25:06   flying blind in this thing for a week [TS]

00:25:09   and then they go into orbit around the [TS]

00:25:12   moon and then they have to figure all [TS]

00:25:14   that shit out and they get down to the [TS]

00:25:16   moon which I'm sure was amazing but then [TS]

00:25:18   make it back in this little this little [TS]

00:25:20   tuna fish can and they fly another week [TS]

00:25:23   home and i realized that i could not be [TS]

00:25:25   an astronaut that none of us could be [TS]

00:25:28   astronauts and that the very few people [TS]

00:25:31   in the world who [TS]

00:25:31   and be astronauts are a mutant race ya [TS]

00:25:35   of people that have no that have no [TS]

00:25:38   claustrophobia they have no fear they [TS]

00:25:41   have no they have no common sense [TS]

00:25:42   they're right i mean you think he's [TS]

00:25:45   visiting into a stick of dynamite and [TS]

00:25:47   stare at a piece of metal for a week [TS]

00:25:48   takes a certain kind of crazy a certain [TS]

00:25:51   kind of crazy that's right then you [TS]

00:25:52   gotta want it because there's like again [TS]

00:25:54   it's like it's like a DNA like a PA and [TS]

00:25:57   Hollywood there's 5,000 people behind [TS]

00:25:59   you who want the same job and you've got [TS]

00:26:01   to be better than all of them like by an [TS]

00:26:03   order of magnitude but you've got to be [TS]

00:26:05   better than all of them than all of them [TS]

00:26:07   of having no human characteristics [TS]

00:26:09   whatsoever you can have no fight or [TS]

00:26:12   flight mechanism you can or you or you [TS]

00:26:14   have to be in such inside you I don't [TS]

00:26:16   even believe it is kid is possible that [TS]

00:26:18   they are in control of those things they [TS]

00:26:20   are just without them they and and in [TS]

00:26:22   that sense I think they are amazing i [TS]

00:26:24   think that they are mutants the same way [TS]

00:26:26   that that great athletes are or great [TS]

00:26:29   you know like great they are just a kind [TS]

00:26:32   of human being that is absolutely [TS]

00:26:34   necessary and i'm stunned i was stunned [TS]

00:26:39   to be at NASA and realize that we do not [TS]

00:26:42   even these mutants we are not funding [TS]

00:26:45   like there's no money for these people [TS]

00:26:48   to even do the think that this amazing [TS]

00:26:51   thing which is strap themselves onto a [TS]

00:26:52   stick of dynamite and fly through space [TS]

00:26:54   like we don't even care I don't care how [TS]

00:26:57   amazing that is enough to pay them money [TS]

00:26:58   and you will he walk around NASA and and [TS]

00:27:01   they are really there duct-taping shit [TS]

00:27:03   together then they really are it's [TS]

00:27:06   hilarious but but anyway so I'm driving [TS]

00:27:08   down the road today and I'm realizing [TS]

00:27:09   okay if you take those if you take some [TS]

00:27:12   mutants like that some mutant human [TS]

00:27:14   beings and you put them in a space ship [TS]

00:27:17   that flies for generations where these [TS]

00:27:25   mutants are meeting with each other in [TS]

00:27:27   space and their bones are losing all [TS]

00:27:30   their mass and there is no light and [TS]

00:27:35   they are just mutating and becoming more [TS]

00:27:38   and more their day and natural selection [TS]

00:27:40   is choosing [TS]

00:27:43   the ideal creature for this environment [TS]

00:27:46   that creature would basically look like [TS]

00:27:49   these dumb aliens that stoners put on [TS]

00:27:51   there on the back windows of their cars [TS]

00:27:54   and grace but the grace like like and I [TS]

00:27:57   started to think did we know did we [TS]

00:28:01   start talking about this the these these [TS]

00:28:04   a what-what aliens looked like before we [TS]

00:28:07   understood that being in space reduces [TS]

00:28:09   your bone mass like a at what pointed to [TS]

00:28:12   one [TS]

00:28:13   well is it a chicken-or-egg situation [TS]

00:28:15   anyway I'm driving down the street and [TS]

00:28:16   I'm realizing wait a minute i do believe [TS]

00:28:18   in aliens because they look exactly like [TS]

00:28:20   they would have to look uh they look [TS]

00:28:24   exactly like if you took Neil Armstrong [TS]

00:28:26   and oh and a female Neil Armstrong and [TS]

00:28:29   we put them in space and have them have [TS]

00:28:32   babies for 50 generations like any like [TS]

00:28:37   a cephalopod the taste physics right and [TS]

00:28:40   have stones right like like the thing [TS]

00:28:42   the thing about alien when we talk about [TS]

00:28:44   sending these guys to Mars these these [TS]

00:28:46   mutant humans we we we devote all this [TS]

00:28:49   energy two treadmills and all this all [TS]

00:28:53   this extra work that we go to to keep [TS]

00:28:56   these Navy jock pilots in good shape [TS]

00:29:01   alright fly to Mars because we're scared [TS]

00:29:04   because if they lose their bone density [TS]

00:29:05   and they just sit there and stare at a [TS]

00:29:07   wall but they're with their big green [TS]

00:29:09   eyes they're going to a go crazy and [TS]

00:29:12   they're not going to have any you get it [TS]

00:29:15   look like it's almost the humanities a [TS]

00:29:17   hindrance [TS]

00:29:18   exactly so you don't choose Neil you [TS]

00:29:22   don't choose neil armstrong to be an [TS]

00:29:24   astronaut you choose neil gaiman to be [TS]

00:29:26   an astronaut write a guy who already has [TS]

00:29:28   no bone density now and who can sit and [TS]

00:29:31   stare at a at a you know basically like [TS]

00:29:34   a spot on the wall as long as it had [TS]

00:29:36   some anime movie happening and he put [TS]

00:29:41   him in a capsule central game and now [TS]

00:29:43   you're already you're already four or [TS]

00:29:45   five generations of natural selection [TS]

00:29:47   closer to the greys [TS]

00:29:50   then you are if you have to start with [TS]

00:29:52   Neil Neil Armstrong you know what I mean [TS]

00:29:54   you're doing it which is the right [TS]

00:29:56   choose the right Neil exactly you don't [TS]

00:29:58   pick that shit you don't jock night [TS]

00:30:01   you gotta pick the one that that you [TS]

00:30:04   know that has no interest in coming back [TS]

00:30:06   because it isn't part of the excitement [TS]

00:30:08   of this the sending a healthy hearty [TS]

00:30:12   inhale human something H into space [TS]

00:30:17   isn't part of it that we're sending like [TS]

00:30:19   our job guys into space don't you think [TS]

00:30:21   is that part of why they got behind it [TS]

00:30:23   is that we're gonna send this specimen [TS]

00:30:25   out there and unlike poor little ham [TS]

00:30:28   we're actually gonna bring this guy back [TS]

00:30:30   yeah because you know we can bring this [TS]

00:30:32   monkeys back they didn't come back [TS]

00:30:33   intact leave me and they're like guys [TS]

00:30:35   alright like a well he wasn't a monkey [TS]

00:30:37   bohemian is a basic block monkey right [TS]

00:30:38   yeah dog Mickey maybe I maybe I used too [TS]

00:30:41   many monkeys [TS]

00:30:43   ha ha ha noi but the point is I think [TS]

00:30:46   maybe that in the fifties we had this we [TS]

00:30:50   still were worshiping these crew-cut [TS]

00:30:52   jocks but we don't worship them anymore [TS]

00:30:55   now we're worshiping all these nebbishy [TS]

00:30:57   a spindly little twerps food and maybe [TS]

00:31:01   maybe astrid y gastón 4chan cinema [TS]

00:31:05   yeah right yeah I'm saying send moot [TS]

00:31:07   into space and give him please you know [TS]

00:31:11   give him some kind of like a computer [TS]

00:31:14   puzzle give him give him a [TS]

00:31:15   four-dimensional Rubik's Cube and say [TS]

00:31:18   you know say once a day you can jack off [TS]

00:31:22   and and in six months you'll be a Mars [TS]

00:31:25   and they'd be like cool cool brah food [TS]

00:31:31   you know we would need to put any [TS]

00:31:32   treadmills on there [TS]

00:31:33   yeah extra weight I mean the weight is [TS]

00:31:35   critical [TS]

00:31:36   weight is critical to these guys and a [TS]

00:31:38   half those guys on 4chan are already [TS]

00:31:40   drinking their own piss [TS]

00:31:41   you don't even have to filter it but [TS]

00:31:44   I don't know I just you know what I [TS]

00:31:47   don't need in my life right now [TS]

00:31:48   particularly being in a manic phase is [TS]

00:31:51   to start believing in aliens again and [TS]

00:31:54   then worrying whenever there's a raccoon [TS]

00:31:55   on my roof that it's just an alien in [TS]

00:31:59   disguise it's really as simple as [TS]

00:32:00   believing in aliens it's a question of [TS]

00:32:02   like are you thinking more MSA it seems [TS]

00:32:06   like it you know we we have to believe [TS]

00:32:07   there's aliens we would have to be just [TS]

00:32:09   so monumentally self-involved to aliens [TS]

00:32:12   I mean that such a silly term any course [TS]

00:32:13   of course we believe in them there's got [TS]

00:32:15   to be other stuff out there but are they [TS]

00:32:17   are they coming and scratching on my [TS]

00:32:19   roof [TS]

00:32:20   what's what's the role and why are they [TS]

00:32:23   getting in where they getting into your [TS]

00:32:24   barn [TS]

00:32:25   yeah are they disguising themselves as [TS]

00:32:27   owls and then not understanding how owls [TS]

00:32:32   behave enough that they come into my [TS]

00:32:34   room and become a GG and pretend to be [TS]

00:32:37   pilon I know what exactly they are there [TS]

00:32:40   as we're not classic that is classic [TS]

00:32:43   alien behavior because I mean you think [TS]

00:32:45   about like you go to any planet for okay [TS]

00:32:47   first of all how's your Mandarin be mine [TS]

00:32:49   but yeah but yeah mine too [TS]

00:32:51   so when people like all the people in my [TS]

00:32:54   neighborhood they don't speak very good [TS]

00:32:55   you know what you know what they speak [TS]

00:32:57   pretty good English compared to how I [TS]

00:32:59   speak Mandarin and Cantonese I'm just [TS]

00:33:01   saying confusing a barn with the pillow [TS]

00:33:05   is pretty good for somebody's from [TS]

00:33:07   another dimension right right exactly [TS]

00:33:10   like they're there looking down there [TS]

00:33:12   like all vowels yes that's good we yeah [TS]

00:33:15   okay good let's discuss our wise and [TS]

00:33:18   green comfort i won't be a pillow [TS]

00:33:19   yes we will be owls that is a good plan [TS]

00:33:22   and then somebody's like well how are we [TS]

00:33:24   going to get in and watch watch this [TS]

00:33:27   John Rother to make sure that he's the [TS]

00:33:29   emissary yeah but to the humans that we [TS]

00:33:31   that we that we think he is preventing [TS]

00:33:34   him it's like well let's so let's just [TS]

00:33:37   get let's just get right in bed with [TS]

00:33:38   them [TS]

00:33:38   well this is well trodden from the [TS]

00:33:40   things like you know the right stuff and [TS]

00:33:42   whatnot but what's amazing about what [TS]

00:33:44   you're describing is they did any of it [TS]

00:33:46   succeeded I mean because these were [TS]

00:33:48   basically guys who wanted to drive fast [TS]

00:33:51   cars you've got to drive fast [TS]

00:33:55   what planes yeah I you know different [TS]

00:33:58   kinds of airplanes and super super fast [TS]

00:34:01   planes but I mean if you think about it [TS]

00:34:03   it's not really it's amazing how quickly [TS]

00:34:06   we went from like a thing that moves [TS]

00:34:09   pretty fast on wheels across the ground [TS]

00:34:12   to a thing that moves alarmingly [TS]

00:34:14   dangerously fast across the Terran sky [TS]

00:34:17   to like now we're going to the fucking [TS]

00:34:20   moon [TS]

00:34:21   it's amazing you could do that 40 years [TS]

00:34:23   well if you look at those Saturn five [TS]

00:34:25   rockets which i did at bit in [TS]

00:34:28   excruciating detail when i was at this [TS]

00:34:31   place [TS]

00:34:32   they are you know you think about like [TS]

00:34:35   the way they make a Ford f-150 they have [TS]

00:34:39   machines that stamp out these ford f150 [TS]

00:34:42   fenders because they're making a million [TS]

00:34:45   f-150 is this year and every every f-150 [TS]

00:34:47   right front fender is the same but they [TS]

00:34:52   did not make that many Saturn five [TS]

00:34:54   rockets and if they did [TS]

00:34:56   there's no machine big enough to stamp [TS]

00:34:58   the you know one quarter of the big part [TS]

00:35:04   of a sudden Saturn five rocket so you [TS]

00:35:06   look at these things and you realize [TS]

00:35:08   they are hand-hammered they are bespoke [TS]

00:35:12   item starting Santa rocket it is an art [TS]

00:35:16   of fucking single rocket to these guys [TS]

00:35:19   it's there it's really it's truly built [TS]

00:35:21   to purpose [TS]

00:35:22   yeah there were guys in white [TS]

00:35:24   short-sleeved button down shirts with 15 [TS]

00:35:29   pens and a slide rule in the front [TS]

00:35:30   pocket who sat with a rubber mallet and [TS]

00:35:34   banged this rocket together [TS]

00:35:37   and it's just and you look at here like [TS]

00:35:40   Jesus Christ that anybody thought that [TS]

00:35:44   you could like this thing on fire and go [TS]

00:35:46   to the moon that that that way and come [TS]

00:35:49   back that's that that's the crazy part [TS]

00:35:52   of what do you think is in part of it [TS]

00:35:53   the coming back that's crazy i think so [TS]

00:35:56   you can attach dynamite to anything and [TS]

00:35:58   send it somewhere but for it to come [TS]

00:36:00   back and be able to hug it skids is [TS]

00:36:02   still to this day completely [TS]

00:36:04   mind-blowing it's astonishing everything [TS]

00:36:06   because we're already fragile i mean as [TS]

00:36:08   as as you know as organic life-forms go [TS]

00:36:11   we're pretty fragile it doesn't take [TS]

00:36:13   that much to really fuck us up [TS]

00:36:15   yeah and and you know and in you know i [TS]

00:36:17   have two regrets in life I wish I [TS]

00:36:19   learned to draw and I wish I had learned [TS]

00:36:21   enough about physics to be able to in [TS]

00:36:24   math to take engineering classes because [TS]

00:36:27   that's that's the thing is like somebody [TS]

00:36:29   is all we send somebody to the moon and [TS]

00:36:31   you imagine not you but but you know [TS]

00:36:33   laypersons imagine a virtual slingshot [TS]

00:36:37   where you shoot this piece of metal and [TS]

00:36:40   a big stone in the sky its it's so much [TS]

00:36:44   more complicated than that because [TS]

00:36:45   that's moving everything's moving it's [TS]

00:36:48   moving right and and then you get the [TS]

00:36:49   Sun is moving around the center of our [TS]

00:36:52   fucking universe there's no tellin a [TS]

00:36:55   what what he got in there there's no [TS]

00:36:57   there's no there everything's moving and [TS]

00:37:02   everything is degrading like this is [TS]

00:37:04   where entropy starts to be a dick [TS]

00:37:05   because you have to account for all of [TS]

00:37:07   these things like what goes wrong if we [TS]

00:37:09   lose these tiles we get there [TS]

00:37:11   this happens these redundancies opinion [TS]

00:37:13   and every single thing paper every gay [TS]

00:37:16   precisely and and everything that you [TS]

00:37:19   add in terms of what weight drag [TS]

00:37:22   anything anything you add you have to [TS]

00:37:24   account for its like I've never taken [TS]

00:37:26   calculus but this must be like the most [TS]

00:37:28   tricked-out calculus in the world to [TS]

00:37:30   figure out how to account for getting a [TS]

00:37:33   hundred eighty pound man to a celestial [TS]

00:37:37   body and bring it back in one piece [TS]

00:37:39   well and I think you bring up arrays the [TS]

00:37:41   most fascinating idea [TS]

00:37:45   which is how much easier would it have [TS]

00:37:49   been in 1957 in 1961 to say listen on [TS]

00:37:57   behalf of humanity we need to send a man [TS]

00:38:00   to the moon [TS]

00:38:02   there's no way he's ever gonna make it [TS]

00:38:04   back but we need to do this [TS]

00:38:07   the man is going to go to the moon and [TS]

00:38:09   he's gonna talk to us on the radio hour [TS]

00:38:12   and I said he's not coming back send a [TS]

00:38:14   criminal or or not or or maybe send the [TS]

00:38:17   greatest american hero but we will all [TS]

00:38:20   stand there with our we will stand up in [TS]

00:38:23   front of our televisions saluting the TV [TS]

00:38:26   as our astronauts dies on the moon [TS]

00:38:31   yeah like when you think about 20 years [TS]

00:38:35   before during World War Two we were we [TS]

00:38:39   as human race Stalin and Hitler were [TS]

00:38:42   murdering millions of people and burying [TS]

00:38:47   them in shallow graves that 20 years [TS]

00:38:49   later we would we would consider that [TS]

00:38:55   bringing this one guy back from space [TS]

00:38:58   and landing him on the ground safely was [TS]

00:39:01   of paramount importance you know like at [TS]

00:39:04   what point did they [TS]

00:39:05   because you know the Soviets sent a lot [TS]

00:39:08   of guys into space that we never heard [TS]

00:39:10   about that never came back right or if [TS]

00:39:13   they didn't i'm fucking surprised you [TS]

00:39:15   know like they said that dog up there [TS]

00:39:17   and nobody that mean that was just like [TS]

00:39:19   hardy-har right but but if it had not [TS]

00:39:24   been for America [TS]

00:39:26   I wonder whether the whether the [TS]

00:39:28   Russians would have an alibi the [TS]

00:39:30   Russians I mean the Soviets whether they [TS]

00:39:31   would have with whether they would have [TS]

00:39:34   pursued a moon program or even the Nazis [TS]

00:39:37   pursuit of moon program where the first [TS]

00:39:40   10 missions were suicide missions right [TS]

00:39:44   they got the Alger affect you heard that [TS]

00:39:46   term know it's it's a fascinating idea a [TS]

00:39:49   little bit rathole but you know there's [TS]

00:39:51   this part of the whole turns out culture [TS]

00:39:53   of you know the increasing need to [TS]

00:39:56   publish something interests [TS]

00:39:57   thing especially in social psychology is [TS]

00:40:00   its leading to more and more of what the [TS]

00:40:01   color file drawer effect which is you go [TS]

00:40:03   out and you do some research and every [TS]

00:40:05   time you don't get the result you want [TS]

00:40:07   you kind of quietly move it aside until [TS]

00:40:10   you get the result that you wanted right [TS]

00:40:12   and so the Russians I mean you know and [TS]

00:40:14   again it's like some kind of an advanced [TS]

00:40:15   card trick [TS]

00:40:16   we're like a cold reading we're like you [TS]

00:40:19   can get something right as long as you [TS]

00:40:21   kind of forget about all the stuff you [TS]

00:40:22   write you know right right you don't [TS]

00:40:25   like it's fine don't worry about that [TS]

00:40:27   well you think about I mean the the the [TS]

00:40:30   the Soviet Army systematically decimated [TS]

00:40:34   the entire polish officer corps kill [TS]

00:40:37   them all like the greatest minds of [TS]

00:40:40   Poland the most elegant aristocratic man [TS]

00:40:44   of Poland all gone in a in like a poof [TS]

00:40:49   well think about all the potential [TS]

00:40:52   astronauts right right that although [TS]

00:40:56   always all these men that that only 15 [TS]

00:41:01   years later you know they're spending [TS]

00:41:03   hundreds of millions of dollars hundreds [TS]

00:41:05   of trillions of rubles to get these guys [TS]

00:41:09   back on earth you know and life human [TS]

00:41:13   life was worth so much less 15 years [TS]

00:41:18   before right [TS]

00:41:19   it's a it was a it was a some kind and I [TS]

00:41:22   wonder whether that moral leap was in [TS]

00:41:26   response to World War One World War two [TS]

00:41:29   like like somehow we have to [TS]

00:41:32   re-establish the value of human life [TS]

00:41:36   somehow [TS]

00:41:37   yes yes alongside the superiority of the [TS]

00:41:40   American know-how right i mean think [TS]

00:41:43   about what would that be probably 15-20 [TS]

00:41:46   years before the for the third time the [TS]

00:41:49   eldest Kennedy brother like that why the [TS]

00:41:52   thought would you send him up and in [TS]

00:41:55   that tarted-up plane and have him blow [TS]

00:41:57   up [TS]

00:41:58   I mean the idea of losing part of the [TS]

00:42:01   American you know on money stock recei [TS]

00:42:04   in this in this crazy plane accident you [TS]

00:42:08   know what I mean yeah I do like how [TS]

00:42:10   wasteful is that [TS]

00:42:11   but a part of it is also i mean i guess [TS]

00:42:13   part of the Cold War yeah you're right i [TS]

00:42:14   mean showing that we are able to do that [TS]

00:42:17   I just just blows me away so use on no [TS]

00:42:20   signs at all that it said that it didn't [TS]

00:42:22   happen [TS]

00:42:22   you're pretty sure it happened the moon [TS]

00:42:24   landing yeah I'm pretty sure it happened [TS]

00:42:29   okay [TS]

00:42:29   hi I'm pretty sure it happened is that [TS]

00:42:32   really is that what they told you to say [TS]

00:42:33   I really am [TS]

00:42:35   there's you know who I I know how hard [TS]

00:42:38   it is [TS]

00:42:39   listen if you I know how hard it is just [TS]

00:42:43   to keep it a secret that you're sleeping [TS]

00:42:44   with your friend's wife [TS]

00:42:46   yes and that doesn't involve any [TS]

00:42:47   technology at all [TS]

00:42:49   it's complicated you know you get up you [TS]

00:42:53   get a bunch of people you get a bunch of [TS]

00:42:55   guys who are watching gauges you get a [TS]

00:42:57   bunch of guys with mustaches short white [TS]

00:43:00   t-shirt surfer short-sleeved white [TS]

00:43:02   button-down shirts they're all [TS]

00:43:04   yeah they're all making everybody [TS]

00:43:05   smoking everybody smoke and they got [TS]

00:43:08   slide rules out there scribbling on on [TS]

00:43:10   pads and and and you're gonna hear and [TS]

00:43:14   you're gonna fake the moon landing and [TS]

00:43:15   nobody's ever going to say it before [TS]

00:43:17   Facebook I don't know you see the link i [TS]

00:43:21   sent you to do send me link [TS]

00:43:23   yeah probably seen this but is it is it [TS]

00:43:28   is it some transsexual porn maybe it's [TS]

00:43:34   ham the monkey porn on in event of moon [TS]

00:43:37   disaster [TS]

00:43:38   yeah but read it read the first [TS]

00:43:40   paragraph there in July eighteenth of [TS]

00:43:42   1969 as the world waited anxiously for [TS]

00:43:44   Apollo 11 to land safely on the surface [TS]

00:43:46   of the Moon speech writer William Safire [TS]

00:43:49   imagine the worst case scenario i have [TS]

00:43:51   read this [TS]

00:43:52   yeah that's basically sapphire route for [TS]

00:43:54   mixing to read well yeah we were I mean [TS]

00:43:57   like let's be honest these guys are [TS]

00:43:59   coming back right that's monkey balls [TS]

00:44:01   it's crazy to think that these guys we [TS]

00:44:03   know how insane it is for all of these [TS]

00:44:06   yeah it has ordained that the men who [TS]

00:44:10   went to the moon to exploring piece will [TS]

00:44:13   stay on the moon to rest in peace to get [TS]

00:44:15   it's great and it's and it's touching [TS]

00:44:19   and you know you know they expected [TS]

00:44:23   it that these guys would would perish up [TS]

00:44:26   there there's no consistent note at the [TS]

00:44:28   bottom [TS]

00:44:29   prior to the president's statement the [TS]

00:44:31   president should telephone each of the [TS]

00:44:33   windows to be after the president's [TS]

00:44:36   statement at the point when NASA and [TS]

00:44:37   communications with the men a clergyman [TS]

00:44:39   should adopt the same procedure as a [TS]

00:44:41   burial at sea commanding their souls to [TS]

00:44:44   quote the deepest of the deep unquote [TS]

00:44:46   concluding with the Lord's / and so with [TS]

00:44:50   windows to be what he's saying is they [TS]

00:44:52   are alive they are on the moon and we [TS]

00:44:56   are basically just waiting for their air [TS]

00:44:59   to run out [TS]

00:45:00   yeah you got a real serious David belly [TS]

00:45:02   type situation huh [TS]

00:45:04   it's just it's so thin that suck [TS]

00:45:08   it's so like well I mean we're gonna do [TS]

00:45:13   you gonna hit another golf ball [TS]

00:45:14   god I think some more snapshots you know [TS]

00:45:18   what I'm gonna move the flag [TS]

00:45:19   I'll turn upside down to be a dick let's [TS]

00:45:22   let's run this moon rover see what she [TS]

00:45:24   can see what this baby can do really [TS]

00:45:25   really really open her up [TS]

00:45:27   I don't start a whole thing but then [TS]

00:45:29   isn't it kind of equally amazing that [TS]

00:45:31   within like 10 years of that I guess for [TS]

00:45:33   the space shuttle at that point but I [TS]

00:45:35   mean it didn't take that long for us to [TS]

00:45:37   lose our zest for this amazing [TS]

00:45:40   accomplishment that we come up with [TS]

00:45:42   arguably one of the greatest things that [TS]

00:45:44   humanity had ever done [TS]

00:45:46   yeah but you think I mean we've done [TS]

00:45:48   some pretty easy using stuff i mean [TS]

00:45:50   setting aside benjamin franklin there's [TS]

00:45:51   some amazing things that people have [TS]

00:45:53   managed to do but this is 444 Kennedy to [TS]

00:45:57   get up there in whatever that was 1961 [TS]

00:46:00   to get up there and say you think even [TS]

00:46:02   though i have no real basis for saying [TS]

00:46:05   this I should have made some calls [TS]

00:46:07   we're going to have a man on the moon by [TS]

00:46:09   the end of the decade and you know there [TS]

00:46:11   were so many guys in white button down [TS]

00:46:14   short sleeve shirts shitting themselves [TS]

00:46:16   and their pencils go say whether that 14 [TS]

00:46:20   more well at lot of pencils and slide [TS]

00:46:24   rules we have I mean I would argue that [TS]

00:46:28   that putting people on the moon and [TS]

00:46:31   bringing them home safely [TS]

00:46:33   beats all the art made after 1902 [TS]

00:46:40   through teaching 1707 maybe anyway yeah [TS]

00:46:45   alright 1908 let's go on making 1000 [TS]

00:46:49   let's say all the arts and architecture [TS]

00:46:51   Casso in there i don't have turned 19 [TS]

00:46:53   you know what who the moon [TS]

00:46:56   you know what i'll trade you a Rothko i [TS]

00:46:57   will show you a fucking Rothko for a [TS]

00:47:00   grown man on the moon who comes home any [TS]

00:47:02   day i will put a grown man on the moon [TS]

00:47:04   against all Rothko's ok together beyond [TS]

00:47:09   PB take that up against the Duchamp all [TS]

00:47:11   of it [TS]

00:47:12   who and this is what I'm saying these [TS]

00:47:15   guys now are working down there in [TS]

00:47:17   Houston which is you know already kind [TS]

00:47:20   of that's a toilet [TS]

00:47:22   no she live in Houston come on come on [TS]

00:47:24   really that's the best we can do [TS]

00:47:25   Jesus because he says biggest constant [TS]

00:47:27   they're the biggest consolation is [TS]

00:47:29   dallas that's really the only thing [TS]

00:47:31   that's worse right [TS]

00:47:32   I've heard he's pretty bad oh well I [TS]

00:47:36   mean Dallas has its charms studios in [TS]

00:47:39   houston and are just actively like i [TS]

00:47:41   don't know why i'm in houston [TS]

00:47:43   there's a lot to not know about why [TS]

00:47:45   you're in houston but there are some you [TS]

00:47:47   can have some like for instance right [TS]

00:47:49   now in the middle of winter in Houston [TS]

00:47:52   people are sitting outside having dinner [TS]

00:47:54   and there's a warm breeze [TS]

00:47:57   it's not too humid houston in december [TS]

00:48:00   is like pretty nice place food enjoying [TS]

00:48:04   velcro and hang soon a span you see me [TS]

00:48:08   in August is is really like being inside [TS]

00:48:12   a dog's ass like there's no it's like [TS]

00:48:15   being in a mouth [TS]

00:48:16   it's like are you there goddamn mouth [TS]

00:48:19   huh i live in a closed maps us sound [TS]

00:48:25   good [TS]

00:48:26   it seems today the bed most of Texas is [TS]

00:48:28   because of what the Alamo and oil right [TS]

00:48:31   there's a lot of oil oil related to [TS]

00:48:35   geography and then you have to throw [TS]

00:48:36   some very beautiful landscapes in Texas [TS]

00:48:39   you know here's the weird thing if [TS]

00:48:40   you're driving across Spain if you drive [TS]

00:48:42   from barcelona to madrid you realize why [TS]

00:48:46   this [TS]

00:48:47   banish thought Texas was a paradise [TS]

00:48:50   Texas looks like a you know looks like [TS]

00:48:55   the it basically it looks like la mancha [TS]

00:48:58   except kind of nicer it [TS]

00:49:03   arrivals what's wrong with Spain nothing [TS]

00:49:07   wrong with that it's just dry red earth [TS]

00:49:11   with a bunch of mesas and you kind of [TS]

00:49:15   scratch out a scratch out an existence [TS]

00:49:18   in a rough-draft first growing you know [TS]

00:49:21   go on olives and wine [TS]

00:49:23   I mean that there's no like there's no [TS]

00:49:26   monkeys living in Spain except those [TS]

00:49:30   ones down in Gibraltar and who knows how [TS]

00:49:32   they got there [TS]

00:49:33   it's not like it's not like Spain is [TS]

00:49:35   lush 50 acorns tightness that it looks [TS]

00:49:38   like Texas and the Spanish landed in [TS]

00:49:40   Texas and they were like oh fuck yes we [TS]

00:49:45   get it [TS]

00:49:46   Southern California to you know that [TS]

00:49:50   there's a reason that the Spanish did [TS]

00:49:51   not land in seattle and say let's build [TS]

00:49:55   some missions see me can't get a decent [TS]

00:49:57   drink at a strip club there have you [TS]

00:50:00   have you been eating what you're eating [TS]

00:50:02   than like lately have you been trying to [TS]

00:50:03   eat regularly you know I've lost I've [TS]

00:50:05   lost 20 pounds because I because when I [TS]

00:50:07   mannequin forget to eat 20 pounds of [TS]

00:50:09   what if John had 20 pounds of all that [TS]

00:50:12   extra John that wasn't doing anything [TS]

00:50:13   was just sitting around [TS]

00:50:15   isn't that a good Lasser a troubling us [TS]

00:50:18   who knows you can't poop on the bus at [TS]

00:50:21   all [TS]

00:50:22   you can't you know no mud pickles so we [TS]

00:50:25   have to wait you have to wait to poop [TS]

00:50:26   but you like that you you like you like [TS]

00:50:29   gab having to hold off my way to poop [TS]

00:50:32   now you know i think i think those [TS]

00:50:34   people those people that have to poop [TS]

00:50:36   now [TS]

00:50:37   yeah they're not going to make it look [TS]

00:50:40   but they're not going to survive [TS]

00:50:42   now what about supertrain can you let [TS]

00:50:44   pickle on supertrain oh absolutely i [TS]

00:50:47   mean like this is your personal quarters [TS]

00:50:49   coupon supertrain that poop goes [TS]

00:50:52   immediately in to the mechanism is all [TS]

00:50:56   of it [TS]

00:50:57   again and all of the all of the the [TS]

00:51:00   essential minerals and and the useful [TS]

00:51:02   cooking oil are taken out of the poop [TS]

00:51:05   and all that's left is a little pile of [TS]

00:51:07   carbon and some trace its of silver [TS]

00:51:10   Mercury golden iodine we're not gonna [TS]

00:51:13   throw that corner away [TS]

00:51:15   absolutely not with the corner weekend [TS]

00:51:16   we can use that the corn goes to feed [TS]

00:51:18   the pigs that are on the back car of [TS]

00:51:20   super train that are making delicious [TS]

00:51:22   bacon for us it's already I it was not [TS]

00:51:27   until this moment like literally in the [TS]

00:51:29   middle of the night that it occurred to [TS]

00:51:31   me that super training is more than a [TS]

00:51:34   totalitarian solution it's an ecosystem [TS]

00:51:37   it absolutely right i mean it's it's [TS]

00:51:39   it's sad that you know what is it tell [TS]

00:51:41   woman says those the soul is [TS]

00:51:43   self-satisfying like you've gotta train [TS]

00:51:45   is going to fucking take care of itself [TS]

00:51:46   and you better believe brother it is [TS]

00:51:48   going to take care of you [TS]

00:51:49   that's right thing is super train is an [TS]

00:51:52   ecosystem it is a guy a bomb it is also [TS]

00:51:55   an elaborate revenge fantasy for example [TS]

00:51:59   of God is there any place for the for [TS]

00:52:04   the brother you think what you are you [TS]

00:52:06   talking about the priest we don't down [TS]

00:52:08   the great job of the black man because [TS]

00:52:10   but no know about memento mori right you [TS]

00:52:13   know about the idea that like there's [TS]

00:52:15   the guy i forget which where this [TS]

00:52:17   happened but the idea of the guy who [TS]

00:52:19   stands next to the king right he stands [TS]

00:52:21   networking and it is all day long and [TS]

00:52:24   says what like your mortal your mortal [TS]

00:52:27   your moral memento mori remember that [TS]

00:52:30   you are going to die right so you need a [TS]

00:52:32   court jester like would it be useful [TS]

00:52:34   I'm just saying for the sake of argument [TS]

00:52:36   that's your train you like if you were [TS]

00:52:38   to take this guy from the east bay who [TS]

00:52:40   apparently i'm gonna have beer with now [TS]

00:52:41   if you were to take him and make him [TS]

00:52:43   somehow part of the supertrain system [TS]

00:52:46   what is the role of the brother for you [TS]

00:52:48   because it seems to me that that he [TS]

00:52:49   might be useful to you as a kind of as a [TS]

00:52:53   kind of moral check for as a kind of got [TS]

00:52:57   it I got as many consigliere Azaz I can [TS]

00:52:59   handle it if you have a wartime [TS]

00:53:01   consigliere every single you know i just [TS]

00:53:03   got off of a tour and every single town [TS]

00:53:05   I went into there were 40 guys lining up [TS]

00:53:07   offering their services [TS]

00:53:10   as like night errands for super train [TS]

00:53:12   for real [TS]

00:53:14   oh yeah there John has gone viral is [TS]

00:53:16   something where people aware of how [TS]

00:53:17   important this is going to be [TS]

00:53:18   approaching you I mean I that are they [TS]

00:53:21   are they are they are they they're [TS]

00:53:23   speaking when you when you go places and [TS]

00:53:25   make personal appearances and play [TS]

00:53:26   professional music they're approaching [TS]

00:53:28   you and saying look it's easy i'm [TS]

00:53:30   unfamiliar super train like I need this [TS]

00:53:32   I need to make sure i have a birth it [TS]

00:53:35   isn't even that people are approaching [TS]

00:53:37   me and they are they basically have a [TS]

00:53:39   small bag already under their arm not [TS]

00:53:43   already packed in the car under their [TS]

00:53:44   arm anticipating that maybe we're [TS]

00:53:47   leaving now I'm like you know what I'm [TS]

00:53:50   doing right now i'm selling t-shirts [TS]

00:53:51   after my rock concert we are not leaving [TS]

00:53:56   tonight and they're like they're not [TS]

00:53:58   disappointed they feel like okay I you [TS]

00:54:02   know I knew i knew i would I knew that [TS]

00:54:04   when super train leaves is not of things [TS]

00:54:06   you can see this isn't it will come like [TS]

00:54:09   a thief in the night [TS]

00:54:11   it's a good size from the Bible but down [TS]

00:54:13   but but that's the other side of super [TS]

00:54:15   train is like you can prepare all you [TS]

00:54:17   want but you'll never really be ready [TS]

00:54:19   yeah well that's exactly right you're [TS]

00:54:21   not ready just becomes and you go huh [TS]

00:54:24   yeah yeah it's you that I gather he [TS]

00:54:26   seems pretty cool [TS]

00:54:27   the thing about the thing about the [TS]

00:54:28   Dominican brother is a Dominican I saw [TS]

00:54:31   some letters after his name that I [TS]

00:54:33   didn't recognize i have you verified [TS]

00:54:34   with the authorities an actual mark any [TS]

00:54:38   bacon say BR in front of their name you [TS]

00:54:39   know that's true because his brother [TS]

00:54:41   John I believe that he is i believe that [TS]

00:54:44   he is what we what we call the a black [TS]

00:54:47   friar but it may it may be that he is [TS]

00:54:51   amazing it's like an anti palin up I I I [TS]

00:54:57   you know I don't we may be a Benedictine [TS]

00:55:00   I don't think so though he doesn't talk [TS]

00:55:02   like one [TS]

00:55:03   I know what the fuck's up at the sky but [TS]

00:55:04   anyway I you know the thing is like for [TS]

00:55:07   instance one of my good friends from [TS]

00:55:08   high school is a he ended up ended up [TS]

00:55:13   going to becoming a lawyer he clerked [TS]

00:55:16   for Rehnquist this guy and now he [TS]

00:55:19   teaches law at UH at Notre Dame [TS]

00:55:22   and he is what we call a Catholic legal [TS]

00:55:25   scholar he talks about the law he talks [TS]

00:55:29   about American law but through the lens [TS]

00:55:33   of Catholicism so he is interested in [TS]

00:55:35   the moral implications of American law [TS]

00:55:39   from a Catholic perspective and he is a [TS]

00:55:42   constant check on me because he sends me [TS]

00:55:45   emails and he is a pompous ass and he he [TS]

00:55:53   delights in arguing with me because he [TS]

00:55:56   is that you know he has been an arguer [TS]

00:56:00   his entire life [TS]

00:56:02   he was an arguer when he was 15 he was [TS]

00:56:04   an arguer when he was a Duke he was an [TS]

00:56:06   arguer when he was a fucking road [TS]

00:56:09   Scholar this and then he went to Yale [TS]

00:56:13   Law and argued there and then he went [TS]

00:56:15   went to the Supreme Court as a clerk and [TS]

00:56:17   I just everything about him makes me a [TS]

00:56:20   sip a castrating the fact that he walks [TS]

00:56:22   the land still yeah makes me mad and the [TS]

00:56:25   fact that he writes me that he writes me [TS]

00:56:29   contemptuously and describes all the [TS]

00:56:33   ways in which i am wrong her wedding [TS]

00:56:39   that he is wrong is it is a constant [TS]

00:56:43   thorn in my shoe that that he exists at [TS]

00:56:46   all and that not only that he exists but [TS]

00:56:48   that he will one day probably get a [TS]

00:56:50   pointed to something by somebody he will [TS]

00:56:54   probably end up on the bench somewhere [TS]

00:56:57   now as you know I want to be a retired [TS]

00:57:00   senator and retired general yes the army [TS]

00:57:04   and a retired head of the CIA but [TS]

00:57:07   there's there's one thing that really [TS]

00:57:11   beats all that and that is being on the [TS]

00:57:14   bench all the mayor your it last word on [TS]

00:57:20   the bench [TS]

00:57:21   whoo there you are on the bench and you [TS]

00:57:24   are there forever and one day this is [TS]

00:57:29   going to happen to this friend of mine [TS]

00:57:30   who is a constant thorn machines [TS]

00:57:34   sufferable he is going to get appointed [TS]

00:57:36   to the federal judiciary and then i'm [TS]

00:57:40   going to wherever I am I'm going to feel [TS]

00:57:42   it first of all it's going to be a [TS]

00:57:43   ripple i'm probably gonna be sitting in [TS]

00:57:45   a bathtub somewhere in Hungary and [TS]

00:57:49   there's gonna be a ripple across the [TS]

00:57:50   surface of the water no matter what was [TS]

00:57:51   that [TS]

00:57:52   and it's that it's that this friend of [TS]

00:57:54   mine got appointed to the federal bench [TS]

00:57:56   and when it happens I just I just I have [TS]

00:58:01   no have no context for for how I'm going [TS]

00:58:03   to react because then he will be [TS]

00:58:06   enshrined he will be ensconced he will [TS]

00:58:09   be in all of the things he's gonna is [TS]

00:58:12   going to paint him he will probably be [TS]

00:58:15   engraved his name will be engraved in [TS]

00:58:18   things stadiums will be named after him [TS]

00:58:21   maybe fellowships fellowships video [TS]

00:58:24   about maybe a fellowship let's hold off [TS]

00:58:26   on stadiums but you're telling me you [TS]

00:58:29   tell me that did that like you're in the [TS]

00:58:31   Supreme Court you get a stadium named [TS]

00:58:33   after you [TS]

00:58:33   maybe a little league stadium maybe you [TS]

00:58:36   know what you know maybe like yeah maybe [TS]

00:58:39   some kind of maybe like a horse ring [TS]

00:58:40   where but I anyway this is that this is [TS]

00:58:45   the thing that torments I'm sorry that [TS]

00:58:47   must dog you [TS]

00:58:48   it does it does ude percent a lot of [TS]

00:58:51   accomplished people receiving [TS]

00:58:53   appear at one point you thought this is [TS]

00:58:54   a fair horse race meeting at one point [TS]

00:58:56   sorry um he was it we were we were peers [TS]

00:59:03   who and and part of you know part of [TS]

00:59:06   being peers involved us each thinking [TS]

00:59:11   that the other one was less intelligent [TS]

00:59:13   and less useful to the world critical [TS]

00:59:15   now but now he has done all the things [TS]

00:59:18   he has done all of the things that you [TS]

00:59:21   do in our culture to indicate that you [TS]

00:59:25   are [TS]

00:59:27   he has a he has accomplished all the [TS]

00:59:31   accomplishments and then one day he will [TS]

00:59:36   get the final accomplishment which is [TS]

00:59:38   that he will get this appointment an [TS]

00:59:41   appointment mind you he does not run he [TS]

00:59:44   does not beg for your for your vote [TS]

00:59:48   you're pathetic electorate it's it [TS]

00:59:50   really as close as we get to Europe [TS]

00:59:52   write some somebody comes in and there's [TS]

00:59:55   a lot of hand waving and there's some [TS]

00:59:57   some some incest gets it gets [TS]

00:59:57   some some incest gets it gets [TS]

01:00:00   just spread around right and and that's [TS]

01:00:03   why they call it right the way through [TS]

01:00:04   some incense the centuries of what are [TS]

01:00:06   called and then and then and then you [TS]

01:00:08   get a robe you get a robe you show up [TS]

01:00:11   and then you've got a fucking job you're [TS]

01:00:13   like you you're the Pope of Justice you [TS]

01:00:15   make law now it's not that you make law [TS]

01:00:18   because that's what the college is [TS]

01:00:20   bigger than that buddy [TS]

01:00:21   that's right get the arbiter you judge a [TS]

01:00:26   fucking judge judge designer and you [TS]

01:00:29   judge you judge it based on your on your [TS]

01:00:32   conscience and on the laws you [TS]

01:00:34   understand it you hope I mean talk about [TS]

01:00:39   business carriage of Justice John this [TS]

01:00:42   guy this friend of mine this recursive [TS]

01:00:46   friend of mine this Achilles heel of [TS]

01:00:48   mine will sit there and judge based on [TS]

01:00:51   his understanding of the law and his own [TS]

01:00:59   conscience as filtered through a [TS]

01:01:03   lifetime of Catholicism in Yale and yale [TS]

01:01:07   ism & Rhodes Scholar ism and [TS]

01:01:11   insufferable ility ism and I have to sit [TS]

01:01:17   here and take it [TS]

01:01:19   I have to sit here and look like legally [TS]

01:01:21   I have to sit here and look at my [TS]

01:01:23   collection [TS]

01:01:24   perhaps and i have to say [TS]

01:01:27   mhm nice collection of hats guy is it is [TS]

01:01:32   it partly could feel your influence [TS]

01:01:35   day-by-day waning that that maybe by the [TS]

01:01:39   time he's on the bench that maybe the [TS]

01:01:42   the effect that you can have by like [TS]

01:01:44   jabbing at him [TS]

01:01:46   it's not going to be quite as pointed as [TS]

01:01:50   it would have been 20 years ago [TS]

01:01:52   well because as you know at when you [TS]

01:01:54   reach our age you the mind becomes to [TS]

01:01:56   atrophy [TS]

01:01:57   yeah like we are losing our acuity with [TS]

01:02:01   you know leaps and bounds we are my [TS]

01:02:03   mental plasticity is like the greatest [TS]

01:02:07   generation which is to say that that [TS]

01:02:11   everyday half of it dies [TS]

01:02:13   yeah every passing day half of my [TS]

01:02:16   elasticity goes away just as World War [TS]

01:02:20   two veterans are dying fifty percent [TS]

01:02:22   every day depressing it's terrible and [TS]

01:02:26   so and this is also happening to my [TS]

01:02:29   friend and so get that he is a fucking [TS]

01:02:31   rope [TS]

01:02:32   yeah he gets a robe and gets to sit up [TS]

01:02:34   there with his like calcified you listen [TS]

01:02:37   to fucking Nina Totenberg read what [TS]

01:02:40   those people are saying they're not [TS]

01:02:41   super duper break and no they're not [TS]

01:02:44   and they've definitely got a fucking [TS]

01:02:46   agenda they definitely do so frustrating [TS]

01:02:49   to me that like they're up there you [TS]

01:02:52   know like the big boss of the level and [TS]

01:02:55   like they're actually I mean like Rhodes [TS]

01:02:59   Scholar good for you i'm glad you got to [TS]

01:03:01   travel but like a slap on the ass but I [TS]

01:03:04   mean no offense I don't work ping pong [TS]

01:03:07   but I mean come on Clarence Thomas I [TS]

01:03:08   mean really well wait a minute now [TS]

01:03:10   Clarence Thomas's yeah is jenny is [TS]

01:03:13   genuinely yeah he needs to take care and [TS]

01:03:16   cook when he sees it is genuinely a [TS]

01:03:19   fucking tool but you know and the funny [TS]

01:03:25   thing is my dad's best friend was a [TS]

01:03:28   federal judge who also happened to be an [TS]

01:03:33   african-american person by the name of [TS]

01:03:36   Jack Tanner judge jack dinner my [TS]

01:03:39   father's best friend my father's best [TS]

01:03:42   friend since the first day of law school [TS]

01:03:45   in 1940 fuck-all whatever-it-was 1949 [TS]

01:03:50   Jack Tanner and my dad were inseparable [TS]

01:03:52   for I can't even count how many years [TS]

01:03:57   you know 60-plus years they were best [TS]

01:04:03   friends and at a certain point in the [TS]

01:04:07   mid-seventies Jack Tanner Tanner who [TS]

01:04:12   went to the rumble in the jungle without [TS]

01:04:15   tying so tired Kelly exile the indian [TS]

01:04:19   chief of the puyallup indian tribe he [TS]

01:04:22   sataya command Jack tanner [TS]

01:04:25   flew to the rumble in the jungle it's [TS]

01:04:27   not that Muhammad Ali fight [TS]

01:04:28   yes no shit with two brown paper sacks [TS]

01:04:33   full of money that they that they [TS]

01:04:36   somehow got through hired Tanner was his [TS]

01:04:39   lawyer and satanic and was on the run [TS]

01:04:42   from some kind of like Federals to [TS]

01:04:46   showdown with the federal cops he was [TS]

01:04:48   gay he was running gambling and [TS]

01:04:50   cigarette he was running a cigarette [TS]

01:04:53   racket or something like that and they [TS]

01:04:55   threw as much money as they could put [TS]

01:04:57   into grocery bags and flew to Africa to [TS]

01:05:02   see this boxing match they're gone for a [TS]

01:05:03   year huh [TS]

01:05:04   and somehow and they got into the [TS]

01:05:07   Emerald trade at some point in Thailand [TS]

01:05:10   none of these stories ever made sense i [TS]

01:05:11   heard in my whole life none of this [TS]

01:05:13   makes it is it never made any sense at [TS]

01:05:16   all they have these they had there's [TS]

01:05:17   money in the description to suffer that [TS]

01:05:19   its attack them was like like a 6-foot [TS]

01:05:22   for indian chief from puyallup injector [TS]

01:05:25   was a five foot four black guy who was [TS]

01:05:28   like his his attorney [TS]

01:05:30   it's like a it's like it makes hunter s [TS]

01:05:32   thompson that's gonna say it sounds like [TS]

01:05:34   a blaxploitation version of hundreds [TS]

01:05:36   it doesn't make any sense at all and [TS]

01:05:38   Tanner would say like oh yeah we were in [TS]

01:05:40   Thailand it was you know right during [TS]

01:05:42   the end of the Vietnam War and they're [TS]

01:05:43   all these guys selling emeralds and so [TS]

01:05:46   we traded one of the bags of money for a [TS]

01:05:48   for a bag of emeralds but then somebody [TS]

01:05:50   worked us out of it in a you know in [TS]

01:05:54   some kind of like a singapore whorehouse [TS]

01:05:57   whatever and you're just listening to [TS]

01:05:58   these stories like what are you fucking [TS]

01:06:00   talking about but then he came back to [TS]

01:06:02   America and jimmy carter appointed him [TS]

01:06:05   to the federal bench jimmy carter [TS]

01:06:08   appointed him to the federal bench [TS]

01:06:09   because he was record because Tanner was [TS]

01:06:12   recommended by the US senator from [TS]

01:06:16   Washington State and the rest of my [TS]

01:06:19   dad's life he had to suffer the fact [TS]

01:06:22   that this guy his best friend who had [TS]

01:06:25   who was a absolute living maniac a [TS]

01:06:31   pathological liar and also like somebody [TS]

01:06:34   who legitimately did [TS]

01:06:36   get into the Emerald trade in thailand [TS]

01:06:39   as far as i can tell that he was now a [TS]

01:06:42   federal judge he was a federal judge and [TS]

01:06:46   they would meet four times a week for [TS]

01:06:50   Chinese food anytime they would get into [TS]

01:06:53   an argument [TS]

01:06:54   Tanner would just he would just give my [TS]

01:06:56   dad all the line in the world and my dad [TS]

01:06:59   would just work himself out into this [TS]

01:07:01   thing and then eventually 10 would be [TS]

01:07:03   like well David I mean I'm a federal [TS]

01:07:06   judge [TS]

01:07:07   oh come off oh so you know you don't [TS]

01:07:11   know what the fuck you're talking about [TS]

01:07:12   fucking clue counselor that what the [TS]

01:07:14   fuck yeah it was there there was the [TS]

01:07:16   game they played that game for 35 more [TS]

01:07:18   years from know how did you handle that [TS]

01:07:21   I mean I'm not well you did not handle [TS]

01:07:23   it well my dad was in a constant state [TS]

01:07:25   of furious agitation and you saw that [TS]

01:07:27   you had to live with that I had to sit [TS]

01:07:29   at the table and listen to listen to [TS]

01:07:32   these two guys go at it and and and you [TS]

01:07:36   know Tanner 10 their tone tone stories [TS]

01:07:39   about World War two [TS]

01:07:40   neither one of them ever did a goddamn [TS]

01:07:42   thing [TS]

01:07:44   Tanner his job in world war two he was [TS]

01:07:46   some like five stripes sergeant his job [TS]

01:07:49   was to drive those landing craft like he [TS]

01:07:52   was driving in fitness landing craft [TS]

01:07:54   into into majima my dad was flying [TS]

01:07:58   overhead you know spilling coffee on him [TS]

01:08:00   on his pants and it was a long series [TS]

01:08:03   with the 45 that they would argue about [TS]

01:08:05   world war two until the cows came home [TS]

01:08:07   and I would sit there at the table and [TS]

01:08:08   I'd be like neither one of you knows a [TS]

01:08:09   fucking thing about world war two like [TS]

01:08:12   you were abused people spent the whole [TS]

01:08:13   war in the mess hall is associated or [TS]

01:08:19   two here and then tender be like well [TS]

01:08:21   one of us is a federal judge so and and [TS]

01:08:24   game over its it is the thing but it is [TS]

01:08:27   the it is the that's a shitty fucking [TS]

01:08:29   trump card but i guess it works ultimate [TS]

01:08:31   trump card and the problem is i have a [TS]

01:08:33   friend and one day he is going to one [TS]

01:08:35   day he's gonna wake up and he's going to [TS]

01:08:37   open up the newspaper or there's the [TS]

01:08:38   phone is gonna ring and it's going to be [TS]

01:08:40   a congratulatory call that somebody has [TS]

01:08:42   appointed him to the federal bench [TS]

01:08:44   and wherever I am [TS]

01:08:45   [Music] [TS]

01:08:47   my my lettuce is gonna go limp and airy [TS]

01:08:54   given would undermine him never going to [TS]

01:08:56   get over how do you undermine him [TS]

01:08:58   because he's a because he's a Catholic [TS]

01:08:59   theologian and a Catholic University he [TS]

01:09:03   does not i am sure he never touches [TS]

01:09:05   himself in a simple way now you know [TS]

01:09:07   what I mean he has no skeletons in his [TS]

01:09:09   closet he believes he's a true believer [TS]

01:09:11   and this is the problem with the [TS]

01:09:13   skeletons are all down the rectory [TS]

01:09:15   this is our problem with our East Bay uh [TS]

01:09:17   the Dominican bra which is which is that [TS]

01:09:21   he is a that he is a true believer and [TS]

01:09:24   so in a sense you know he is morally [TS]

01:09:28   unassailable as long as you know as long [TS]

01:09:32   as you could be he's morally [TS]

01:09:35   unassailable because he lives in a [TS]

01:09:36   castle and it is a castle of his of [TS]

01:09:41   belief it is a castle belief and so it's [TS]

01:09:46   a frustrating this is so far away from [TS]

01:09:48   the runway level I mean we are tracking [TS]

01:09:50   across America on a train [TS]

01:09:52   yeah that is not riding on a track of [TS]

01:09:55   belief it is riding on a track made out [TS]

01:09:58   of crushed human skulls and belief you [TS]

01:10:06   know belief is nice in it because we are [TS]

01:10:10   going to need we're going to need some [TS]

01:10:11   poetry in the dining car who to drown [TS]

01:10:15   out the sounds of of all those bones [TS]

01:10:18   cracking under our train John if you [TS]

01:10:20   decide and this is your train [TS]

01:10:22   like I say but but if you decide to keep [TS]

01:10:24   any of the judiciary in place [TS]

01:10:26   what will be your system for vetting you [TS]

01:10:29   don't like for example when they [TS]

01:10:30   downsize like you come in here and you [TS]

01:10:32   gotta get apply for your own job again [TS]

01:10:34   like what are you going to do to if you [TS]

01:10:37   choose to keep any of the infrastructure [TS]

01:10:39   in place how you make sure that the [TS]

01:10:41   right people are in their game against [TS]

01:10:44   the last yeah well uh first of all no [TS]

01:10:47   banjo players [TS]

01:10:48   ok [TS]

01:10:49   write that down banjo players badges [TS]

01:10:52   right out can't be trusted is it is it [TS]

01:10:54   just something about banjos in [TS]

01:10:56   particular those are fine if you are [TS]

01:10:58   guitar player or something or just like [TS]

01:11:00   an innocent to pick up a banjo on planks [TS]

01:11:02   along on an outright no it's not a [TS]

01:11:04   victim banjos another problems just like [TS]

01:11:06   a bagpipe isn't a problem it's the banjo [TS]

01:11:09   players in the bagpipe players may seem [TS]

01:11:12   like an assault rifle [TS]

01:11:13   yeah you don't shoot you do not choose [TS]

01:11:14   the bagpipe impress you [TS]

01:11:17   well yeah right i'm not sure i don't [TS]

01:11:20   know but you know banjos uh what about [TS]

01:11:23   Rhodes Scholars to have a particular [TS]

01:11:25   pain I mean like at UK just reject all [TS]

01:11:27   that out pan because certainly amongst [TS]

01:11:29   all of the of the fucktards have become [TS]

01:11:31   Rhodes Scholars most because the [TS]

01:11:33   connection let's be honest some of them [TS]

01:11:35   might be useful [TS]

01:11:36   well I mean I don't want to be all pol [TS]

01:11:38   pot here but if I if I could trace all [TS]

01:11:43   the problems in America if i could if i [TS]

01:11:47   could independently trace every single [TS]

01:11:49   problem in America that thread would [TS]

01:11:51   would end up back at Yale here is the [TS]

01:11:55   center of all everything that's wrong [TS]

01:11:57   with America like I have no I have no [TS]

01:11:58   doubt that I could trace even the fact [TS]

01:12:00   that it's sitting here in my room I [TS]

01:12:02   don't have any 9-volt batteries for my [TS]

01:12:04   rat pedal there's some way I can I can [TS]

01:12:08   locate the source of that problem at [TS]

01:12:10   Yankee reason skull and bones so I mean [TS]

01:12:16   I don't want to be pull pot I did not [TS]

01:12:18   believe for a second that [TS]

01:12:20   anti-intellectualism is a valid like go [TS]

01:12:24   forward strategy for supertrain not at [TS]

01:12:27   all [TS]

01:12:27   yeah we are not and it is not an [TS]

01:12:29   anti-intellectual programs but i mean i [TS]

01:12:31   don't think the Rhodes Scholarship is an [TS]

01:12:33   intellectual program i know you don't [TS]

01:12:36   this John the kind of people who get [TS]

01:12:38   fucking scholarships and grants and you [TS]

01:12:40   get the the steak rails grease for them [TS]

01:12:46   not anything special [TS]

01:12:48   no you know they don't enter the Tanners [TS]

01:12:51   then bags full of money we're going to [TS]

01:12:53   put all the George Plimpton's behind the [TS]

01:12:55   train and they're going to have to run [TS]

01:12:59   and run and at a certain point [TS]

01:13:04   some of that's they're gonna run they're [TS]

01:13:06   gonna run some of that smugness off and [TS]

01:13:10   when this when they were when they run [TS]

01:13:11   the smugness often they're welcome on [TS]

01:13:13   board but you know that's what it is and [TS]

01:13:16   that's the thing about the people that [TS]

01:13:18   come up to me on when i'm on tour the [TS]

01:13:20   people that come up and say you know [TS]

01:13:22   that that kinda you know that offer [TS]

01:13:24   offer the hand and they're thinking of [TS]

01:13:26   them so they put the put the handout and [TS]

01:13:28   their thinking is there a secret [TS]

01:13:31   supertrain handshake [TS]

01:13:32   yeah but I don't know they put the hand [TS]

01:13:35   out there and they're worried that there [TS]

01:13:38   is a secret supertrain handshake and [TS]

01:13:40   they don't know it but it doesn't [TS]

01:13:42   inhibit them from putting their hand out [TS]

01:13:44   like a gentleman [TS]

01:13:46   yeah and shake their hand and they [TS]

01:13:48   realized there is no super-secret [TS]

01:13:51   supertrain handshake but there's no [TS]

01:13:53   smugness in their approach they are they [TS]

01:13:56   they are approaching that and a lot of [TS]

01:13:58   them are very smart people to connect [TS]

01:13:59   you with that respect and dignity and [TS]

01:14:01   with you know with the with the humility [TS]

01:14:03   that that any human being should [TS]

01:14:06   approach another human with yes if you [TS]

01:14:07   if you do not approach people with that [TS]

01:14:09   humility and an intrinsic humility and [TS]

01:14:12   this is the problem with people who are [TS]

01:14:14   who are flush with belief they lack that [TS]

01:14:18   ten percent of of the needed humility [TS]

01:14:21   because their belief like Trump's there [TS]

01:14:27   that their native humility right they [TS]

01:14:32   they cannot they cannot allow for the [TS]

01:14:35   possibility that what they think they [TS]

01:14:38   know is wrong [TS]

01:14:39   Tom they've excused in the giant pie [TS]

01:14:42   graph of no ability they've they've [TS]

01:14:43   excused a lot of things because of their [TS]

01:14:46   certainty and it's made them less [TS]

01:14:49   respectful there is there is an [TS]

01:14:51   arrogance at the core of every doctrine [TS]

01:14:55   and super train is a doctrine free [TS]

01:15:00   juggernaut [TS]

01:15:03   mmm [TS]

01:15:04   it just eats and shits terrible idea [TS]

01:15:25   what we do this [TS]

01:15:27   hello no banjo players [TS]