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Roderick on the Line

Ep. 55: "A Welsh Troll"

 

00:00:00   hello hi John [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/0">TS</a>]

00:00:07   hi Merlin hi how are you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/7">TS</a>]

00:00:11   more than men how are you you sound like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/11">TS</a>]

00:00:17   a lot going on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/17">TS</a>]

00:00:18   no you know i'm so dizzy yeah you're a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/18">TS</a>]

00:00:21   busy person i'm so dizzy I think people [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/21">TS</a>]

00:00:25   say that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/25">TS</a>]

00:00:26   busy busy busy busy now I love life is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/26">TS</a>]

00:00:29   like a glass like a big closet [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/29">TS</a>]

00:00:30   you know you're always gonna you're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/30">TS</a>]

00:00:32   gonna fill up every one of them no [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/32">TS</a>]

00:00:33   matter what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/33">TS</a>]

00:00:34   absolutely true you know people say [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/34">TS</a>]

00:00:36   they're busy because i think it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/36">TS</a>]

00:00:39   indisputable that most other people in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/39">TS</a>]

00:00:42   the world are not doing anything you're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/42">TS</a>]

00:00:45   not busy at all and the so those few [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/45">TS</a>]

00:00:48   people who are busy who say I'm really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/48">TS</a>]

00:00:50   busy right now they are the better git [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/50">TS</a>]

00:00:53   er done errs for the actual busy people [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/53">TS</a>]

00:00:55   and we should support them with all of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/55">TS</a>]

00:00:57   our efforts i got mixed feelings because [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/57">TS</a>]

00:01:00   when i say i'm busy it usually means one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/60">TS</a>]

00:01:03   of a couple things and they're both my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/63">TS</a>]

00:01:05   fault [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/65">TS</a>]

00:01:06   no I'm never if I I mean I'm a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/66">TS</a>]

00:01:08   disgusting the nature of what I quote [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/68">TS</a>]

00:01:11   unquote do it since there's never time [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/71">TS</a>]

00:01:13   that I should be too busy unless I you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/73">TS</a>]

00:01:15   have chosen to be too busy mean because [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/75">TS</a>]

00:01:18   I'm really its kind of trip everybody [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/78">TS</a>]

00:01:19   when they like to admit it or not but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/79">TS</a>]

00:01:21   yeah I with me it means i have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/81">TS</a>]

00:01:22   overcommitted or a plan poorly or all in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/82">TS</a>]

00:01:28   the midst of all that i'm just not being [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/88">TS</a>]

00:01:30   very good our effective if you like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/90">TS</a>]

00:01:33   yeah I I whenever I say I'm busy I could [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/93">TS</a>]

00:01:37   just replace that with i'm behind the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/97">TS</a>]

00:01:39   8-ball i'm behind the eight ball that's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/99">TS</a>]

00:01:42   what I mean [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/102">TS</a>]

00:01:43   screams I'm sitting in a room right now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/103">TS</a>]

00:01:45   that is basically just boxes and bags of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/105">TS</a>]

00:01:49   things that I haven't attended to and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/109">TS</a>]

00:01:52   the boxes and bags are stacked on other [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/112">TS</a>]

00:01:54   boxes and bags until I'm like a I'm like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/114">TS</a>]

00:01:59   a hoarder person where you can only get [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/119">TS</a>]

00:02:01   to my computer desk through a corridor [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/121">TS</a>]

00:02:03   through a corridor just like stacked [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/123">TS</a>]

00:02:08   olds cat food cans [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/128">TS</a>]

00:02:12   these newspapers tied with tied with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/132">TS</a>]

00:02:16   ramen noodles and a little taste of the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/136">TS</a>]

00:02:20   orient in your home organization and i'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/140">TS</a>]

00:02:22   just i'm behind the eight ball just even [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/142">TS</a>]

00:02:24   walk in here and like a behind the eight [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/144">TS</a>]

00:02:25   ball [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/145">TS</a>]

00:02:26   well I hate to admit tonight that I know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/146">TS</a>]

00:02:28   this but there are stages to hoarding [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/148">TS</a>]

00:02:31   and there are like they're like in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/151">TS</a>]

00:02:33   same way you look at dsm you know this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/153">TS</a>]

00:02:35   all the are you a person who has you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/155">TS</a>]

00:02:37   know depression with them some kind of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/157">TS</a>]

00:02:39   some kind of sex thing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/159">TS</a>]

00:02:41   yeah it's a role-playing thing is the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/161">TS</a>]

00:02:43   DSM guide mhm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/163">TS</a>]

00:02:45   oh the diagnostic stimulation modulator [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/165">TS</a>]

00:02:49   4got sybian sibilance is that is a UH [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/169">TS</a>]

00:02:55   that gosh where do i begin first of all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/175">TS</a>]

00:02:58   it's it's it's all I can do not turn [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/178">TS</a>]

00:03:00   this into you know one of those other [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/180">TS</a>]

00:03:01   shows right about bad stuff stages of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/181">TS</a>]

00:03:04   stages according to their stations [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/184">TS</a>]

00:03:05   reporting and you know it's a I had I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/185">TS</a>]

00:03:07   had a reason and one point my life to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/187">TS</a>]

00:03:09   learn about these things their family [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/189">TS</a>]

00:03:10   you're into my house do you feel like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/190">TS</a>]

00:03:12   I'm on the hoarding continuum John we're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/192">TS</a>]

00:03:15   all on the horn continue and that's only [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/195">TS</a>]

00:03:17   two continuum you're right you're right [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/197">TS</a>]

00:03:18   everybody's a little special mi mi [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/198">TS</a>]

00:03:21   somewhere out along the horn continuum [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/201">TS</a>]

00:03:24   as you can jaan i'm not a hoarding [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/204">TS</a>]

00:03:27   clinician right but yeah there's that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/207">TS</a>]

00:03:31   forget how many faces there are but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/211">TS</a>]

00:03:34   there's once you're it's you know it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/214">TS</a>]

00:03:36   again once you want to become aware [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/216">TS</a>]

00:03:38   something it's hard to stop seeing it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/218">TS</a>]

00:03:39   everywhere and i have to tell you that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/219">TS</a>]

00:03:41   I'm pretty sure one of the middle phases [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/221">TS</a>]

00:03:43   is paths [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/223">TS</a>]

00:03:45   uh-huh right when you believe we have to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/225">TS</a>]

00:03:47   blaze trails through stuff I think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/227">TS</a>]

00:03:50   you're I think you're on the ec [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/230">TS</a>]

00:03:51   exceedingly slightly more special part [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/231">TS</a>]

00:03:54   of a continuum that's like when you when [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/234">TS</a>]

00:03:56   you buy of a Volkswagen bug and then all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/236">TS</a>]

00:03:59   of a sudden you see Volkswagen bugs [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/239">TS</a>]

00:04:00   everywhere i didn't know i think this i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/240">TS</a>]

00:04:03   think this is a version of an [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/243">TS</a>]

00:04:05   availability heuristic that you make [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/245">TS</a>]

00:04:07   decisions about what's going on in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/247">TS</a>]

00:04:09   world based on the information that's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/249">TS</a>]

00:04:10   available to you in your own experience [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/250">TS</a>]

00:04:12   right right for instance i never used to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/252">TS</a>]

00:04:15   see PT Cruisers at all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/255">TS</a>]

00:04:17   thank god you're lucky i know i had a PT [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/257">TS</a>]

00:04:20   Cruiser screen on my consciousness like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/260">TS</a>]

00:04:22   a filter that came down [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/262">TS</a>]

00:04:24   let a little like a little protective [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/264">TS</a>]

00:04:25   advisor it was a protective visor a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/265">TS</a>]

00:04:27   mental visor that screened out PT [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/267">TS</a>]

00:04:30   Cruisers but then one time Kathleen [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/270">TS</a>]

00:04:32   Edwards came here to visit me and she [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/272">TS</a>]

00:04:33   rented a PT Cruiser so cute and we're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/273">TS</a>]

00:04:37   driving around town in his PT cruiser [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/277">TS</a>]

00:04:39   and all of a sudden i'm a member of the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/279">TS</a>]

00:04:40   PT Cruiser fraternity and people are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/280">TS</a>]

00:04:43   like PB pie other PT Cruisers everywhere [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/283">TS</a>]

00:04:46   and I and I have to see them i'm in one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/286">TS</a>]

00:04:50   and it did change me forever and not in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/290">TS</a>]

00:04:53   a good way [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/293">TS</a>]

00:04:54   no no I I feel the same way uh ever [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/294">TS</a>]

00:04:57   since I was a little kid [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/297">TS</a>]

00:04:58   this is probably a phenomenon with the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/298">TS</a>]

00:05:00   name but you you feel like you have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/300">TS</a>]

00:05:01   there's a word that you haven't heard [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/301">TS</a>]

00:05:03   your whole life and then one day you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/303">TS</a>]

00:05:05   hear it and then that same day you hear [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/305">TS</a>]

00:05:06   it again and so either you heard that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/306">TS</a>]

00:05:09   word before and you didn't remember it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/309">TS</a>]

00:05:11   when there's some you know you know dark [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/311">TS</a>]

00:05:14   matter what and when you say it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/314">TS</a>]

00:05:16   probably the name you mean your name [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/316">TS</a>]

00:05:18   Merlin Mann never heard it that advisor [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/318">TS</a>]

00:05:20   protect advisor what you know what I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/320">TS</a>]

00:05:23   hate is a legitimate so what the first [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/323">TS</a>]

00:05:25   time somebody's on abracadabra to you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/325">TS</a>]

00:05:26   you're like a boy and a man but you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/326">TS</a>]

00:05:31   you gotta hate and unintentional [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/331">TS</a>]

00:05:33   left-handed compliment at a job [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/333">TS</a>]

00:05:35   my wife had a few years ago her boss was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/335">TS</a>]

00:05:38   just talking about you know whatever [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/338">TS</a>]

00:05:39   like you do in office cuz you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/339">TS</a>]

00:05:41   really work in an office and and she [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/341">TS</a>]

00:05:44   said and then have you ever seen those [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/344">TS</a>]

00:05:46   PT Cruisers and she's like yeah sure [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/346">TS</a>]

00:05:48   just that seems like the kind of car you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/348">TS</a>]

00:05:50   drive [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/350">TS</a>]

00:05:51   oh and you know I think that's the way I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/351">TS</a>]

00:05:54   think that's a way of saying to somebody [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/354">TS</a>]

00:05:55   that you really knows mostly through [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/355">TS</a>]

00:05:57   work as a way of saying you're a fun [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/357">TS</a>]

00:05:59   like kinky individual Oh interesting [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/359">TS</a>]

00:06:03   it's a kicky it's a it's a quirky cards [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/363">TS</a>]

00:06:05   like ya on ya can tech this is from a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/365">TS</a>]

00:06:08   lady this is from a lady has reached [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/368">TS</a>]

00:06:10   that kind of menopausal age we start [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/370">TS</a>]

00:06:11   wearing a lot of chunky jewelry and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/371">TS</a>]

00:06:12   saying what's on your mind you know but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/372">TS</a>]

00:06:14   she wasn't saying it unkind way [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/374">TS</a>]

00:06:16   no no she meant that Madeline was a was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/376">TS</a>]

00:06:18   like a funky gal it totally and it's you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/378">TS</a>]

00:06:21   know the things that we buy for other [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/381">TS</a>]

00:06:23   people as present as an example is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/383">TS</a>]

00:06:25   another example usually say much more [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/385">TS</a>]

00:06:26   about us than it does about the other [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/386">TS</a>]

00:06:28   person often it shows that we have bad [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/388">TS</a>]

00:06:29   judgment and no taste [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/389">TS</a>]

00:06:31   well i hope that Madeline enjoys the the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/391">TS</a>]

00:06:33   pearl handle derringers I border for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/393">TS</a>]

00:06:35   Christmas she treasures them [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/395">TS</a>]

00:06:37   she was gonna give her anything with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/397">TS</a>]

00:06:39   pearl on it that's good [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/399">TS</a>]

00:06:41   it's a but you know that's that seem [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/401">TS</a>]

00:06:42   like a sweet thing to say but do you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/402">TS</a>]

00:06:44   know gosh where I even begin I want to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/404">TS</a>]

00:06:45   get back to the hoarding but yeah yeah [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/405">TS</a>]

00:06:47   you know it's like when you're a little [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/407">TS</a>]

00:06:49   kid and you know you know exactly the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/409">TS</a>]

00:06:51   kind of GI joe that you want like a very [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/411">TS</a>]

00:06:54   specific my case files in the big gym [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/414">TS</a>]

00:06:56   for a while we just him [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/416">TS</a>]

00:06:58   yeah which is kind of like a bicurious [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/418">TS</a>]

00:06:59   GI joe who likes to go to the beach how [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/419">TS</a>]

00:07:01   about Stretch Armstrong did you have a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/421">TS</a>]

00:07:03   stretch arms from test marketed for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/423">TS</a>]

00:07:04   kenner what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/424">TS</a>]

00:07:06   how are you the kid that got to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/426">TS</a>]

00:07:08   test-market Stretch Armstrong general [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/428">TS</a>]

00:07:10   did you ever have a really cool little [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/430">TS</a>]

00:07:12   car called an SST we pulled the t-strap [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/432">TS</a>]

00:07:14   and flies across the floor [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/434">TS</a>]

00:07:16   test marketed I stories right saw them I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/436">TS</a>]

00:07:19   never had one myself another broken by [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/439">TS</a>]

00:07:21   your mother up the wizard the wizard top [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/441">TS</a>]

00:07:24   this tops it goes across the floor yeah [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/444">TS</a>]

00:07:27   I was a test marketer for counter toys [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/447">TS</a>]

00:07:29   when I was a child [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/449">TS</a>]

00:07:30   how did you get this gig i was bored in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/450">TS</a>]

00:07:33   class and I i think what happens counter [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/453">TS</a>]

00:07:36   and Family Services encounter was is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/456">TS</a>]

00:07:37   based in Cincinnati or at least has a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/457">TS</a>]

00:07:39   big outpost there right this is the kind [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/459">TS</a>]

00:07:41   of thing you can do in a public school [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/461">TS</a>]

00:07:42   in the seventies is you would take a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/462">TS</a>]

00:07:44   mean let's be honest it was the smart [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/464">TS</a>]

00:07:45   kids the kids they could afford to just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/465">TS</a>]

00:07:47   miss the whole class to go play with the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/467">TS</a>]

00:07:48   toy and please don't ever make the other [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/468">TS</a>]

00:07:50   kids love us they want to thank you baby [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/470">TS</a>]

00:07:52   love you test market toys in school to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/472">TS</a>]

00:07:54   me Jenny balcom Billy shallower we did [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/474">TS</a>]

00:07:57   they take us out the second let's go and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/477">TS</a>]

00:07:59   and all the kids who star who already [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/479">TS</a>]

00:08:00   done with work they get to go play with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/480">TS</a>]

00:08:01   toys for the other kids haha I you thank [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/481">TS</a>]

00:08:04   you thank you hate me too [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/484">TS</a>]

00:08:07   that's terrible yeah I mean it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/487">TS</a>]

00:08:09   wonderful but it's terribly awful i hate [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/489">TS</a>]

00:08:11   me 2 i'm like a PT Cruiser oh you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/491">TS</a>]

00:08:14   what I had to do I had to pretend I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/494">TS</a>]

00:08:15   sick and go to the nurse's office to how [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/495">TS</a>]

00:08:18   do you have a method did you put that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/498">TS</a>]

00:08:19   you put a thermometer under your arm up [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/499">TS</a>]

00:08:21   against the light or anything like that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/501">TS</a>]

00:08:23   oh no I file it i mean you want to see [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/503">TS</a>]

00:08:25   right through you actually have to get a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/505">TS</a>]

00:08:27   disease [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/507">TS</a>]

00:08:28   clearly i was sick when I was never you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/508">TS</a>]

00:08:31   know it's funny we had cats my whole [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/511">TS</a>]

00:08:34   life growing up and I'm allergic to cats [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/514">TS</a>]

00:08:36   so I always orders was a little sick [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/516">TS</a>]

00:08:41   oh really you're like you're like will [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/521">TS</a>]

00:08:42   ring you have to constantly call upon [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/522">TS</a>]

00:08:44   your healing abilities in order just to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/524">TS</a>]

00:08:46   stay alive and that causes baseline [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/526">TS</a>]

00:08:48   paint you all the time [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/528">TS</a>]

00:08:49   exactly there's there's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/529">TS</a>]

00:08:50   many ways in which I'm like wolverine [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/530">TS</a>]

00:08:52   that is one of the ways radians fuck you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/532">TS</a>]

00:08:54   up with all that metal that's not going [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/534">TS</a>]

00:08:56   to go into it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/536">TS</a>]

00:08:57   marbut so so nobody ever thought maybe [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/537">TS</a>]

00:09:00   this kid is allergic to cats so I had a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/540">TS</a>]

00:09:03   constant scratchy cough and runny nose [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/543">TS</a>]

00:09:05   for I'm serious now 14 years your eyes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/545">TS</a>]

00:09:08   you get the eyes itchy eyes and so I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/548">TS</a>]

00:09:11   would sit in class and if I wanted to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/551">TS</a>]

00:09:13   if class was boring i wanted to get out [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/553">TS</a>]

00:09:15   i would just be like I've really thick [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/555">TS</a>]

00:09:17   right down and they sent me to the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/557">TS</a>]

00:09:19   nurse's office and I I'd lay on the way [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/559">TS</a>]

00:09:21   on the cot in the nurse's office and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/561">TS</a>]

00:09:23   count the dots in the ceiling tile you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/563">TS</a>]

00:09:27   can call upon your your your conquest [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/567">TS</a>]

00:09:29   space fantasies for really any room [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/569">TS</a>]

00:09:32   where you can be supplied [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/572">TS</a>]

00:09:33   yeah i just want this one to go [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/573">TS</a>]

00:09:35   somewhere lay down have him turn the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/575">TS</a>]

00:09:37   lights down a little bit and then leave [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/577">TS</a>]

00:09:38   me the leave me alone and you know and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/578">TS</a>]

00:09:40   they thought i was sleeping but I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/580">TS</a>]

00:09:42   just you know what you needed you needed [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/582">TS</a>]

00:09:43   fake chronic migraines [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/583">TS</a>]

00:09:46   oh interesting many people are very [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/586">TS</a>]

00:09:48   think about it it's one of those things [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/588">TS</a>]

00:09:49   the etiology is really tough you can [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/589">TS</a>]

00:09:51   look at somebody and tell whether they [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/591">TS</a>]

00:09:53   do or don't have a migraine is they're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/593">TS</a>]

00:09:55   really good at looking like they have a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/595">TS</a>]

00:09:56   migraine [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/596">TS</a>]

00:09:57   well or chronic fatigue syndrome no I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/597">TS</a>]

00:09:59   don't want to get into chronic fatigue [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/599">TS</a>]

00:10:00   syndrome because i believe it's a real [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/600">TS</a>]

00:10:01   thing and there are people who is well [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/601">TS</a>]

00:10:04   the people who suffer from it are very [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/604">TS</a>]

00:10:06   very serious about it being real thing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/606">TS</a>]

00:10:09   and and they have impressed upon me that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/609">TS</a>]

00:10:11   if it is a real thing and no one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/611">TS</a>]

00:10:15   believes you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/615">TS</a>]

00:10:16   that is got to be a terrible terrible [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/616">TS</a>]

00:10:18   fate right to be like completely sick [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/618">TS</a>]

00:10:22   and you're essentially telling somebody [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/622">TS</a>]

00:10:24   that they're either insane a liar or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/624">TS</a>]

00:10:26   both [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/626">TS</a>]

00:10:27   yeah right these people go to the doctor [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/627">TS</a>]

00:10:28   and they're like I feel like I can [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/628">TS</a>]

00:10:31   barely function and the doctors like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/631">TS</a>]

00:10:33   you're imagining it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/633">TS</a>]

00:10:34   uh huh you know and for years this goes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/634">TS</a>]

00:10:36   on so I i won't make I won't make jokes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/636">TS</a>]

00:10:38   about chronic fatigue syndrome x6 that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/638">TS</a>]

00:10:41   helped except that it does sound like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/641">TS</a>]

00:10:44   they're faking it sound like it but you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/644">TS</a>]

00:10:46   know there's there's a funny thing in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/646">TS</a>]

00:10:47   medicine as you know not physician but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/647">TS</a>]

00:10:49   there are a range of things where they [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/649">TS</a>]

00:10:51   know that there's a condition that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/651">TS</a>]

00:10:52   exists but there's no etiology for it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/652">TS</a>]

00:10:56   and there's no test for proving that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/656">TS</a>]

00:10:57   exists right and having one of those [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/657">TS</a>]

00:10:59   things suck [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/659">TS</a>]

00:11:00   x sucks it sucks and that chronic [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/660">TS</a>]

00:11:02   fatigue syndrome is one you know what I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/662">TS</a>]

00:11:04   gotta tell you up until and you're gonna [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/664">TS</a>]

00:11:06   get you know about this but up until the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/666">TS</a>]

00:11:08   last few years I was pretty sure that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/668">TS</a>]

00:11:11   kids with food allergies was mostly a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/671">TS</a>]

00:11:13   fake things my thought it was maybe a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/673">TS</a>]

00:11:15   doting mother or something you know but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/675">TS</a>]

00:11:18   it's like why did why is it suddenly [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/678">TS</a>]

00:11:19   everybody has food allergies and it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/679">TS</a>]

00:11:21   didn't use to be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/681">TS</a>]

00:11:22   oh yeah tell you the truth I don't know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/682">TS</a>]

00:11:24   why that is and I kind of don't care [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/684">TS</a>]

00:11:25   because now i do I have a friend whose [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/685">TS</a>]

00:11:28   kid to Justin brief when they knew that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/688">TS</a>]

00:11:32   like once I'm healing touch the piece of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/692">TS</a>]

00:11:33   cheese and it looks like a tattoo on his [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/693">TS</a>]

00:11:35   arm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/695">TS</a>]

00:11:36   whoa yeah just from like a little piece [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/696">TS</a>]

00:11:37   of it took me to get tested [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/697">TS</a>]

00:11:39   yeah and they started with i think an [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/699">TS</a>]

00:11:41   eighth of a teaspoon of milk and I think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/701">TS</a>]

00:11:45   it's such a horrible story said mom I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/705">TS</a>]

00:11:47   feel crazy I feel weird or something in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/707">TS</a>]

00:11:50   his eyes rolled back in his head he went [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/710">TS</a>]

00:11:52   into anaphylactic shock and they had to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/712">TS</a>]

00:11:54   give him like two or three EpiPen shots [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/714">TS</a>]

00:11:56   and taken to the emergency room he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/716">TS</a>]

00:11:57   almost died at the hospital [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/717">TS</a>]

00:11:59   holy cats yeah yeah so like he's so when [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/719">TS</a>]

00:12:02   you hear stuff when i first heard like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/722">TS</a>]

00:12:03   there's a little lactose intolerance [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/723">TS</a>]

00:12:05   what you're saying that he's a little [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/725">TS</a>]

00:12:06   lactose intolerant but here's the thing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/726">TS</a>]

00:12:09   imagine now the this this wonderful that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/729">TS</a>]

00:12:12   the parents he has a good friend of mine [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/732">TS</a>]

00:12:14   and she's a pistol begin with and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/734">TS</a>]

00:12:16   crystal sheer all she's assisting your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/736">TS</a>]

00:12:19   son and more like when you follow her on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/739">TS</a>]

00:12:21   Twitter she's very this isn't this is a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/741">TS</a>]

00:12:23   non-public story meeting grouper their [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/743">TS</a>]

00:12:25   kid has an extreme allergy and she [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/745">TS</a>]

00:12:28   carries EpiPens everywhere and she's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/748">TS</a>]

00:12:30   ready but you know the thing is i have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/750">TS</a>]

00:12:32   to say like a few years ago i got when i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/752">TS</a>]

00:12:34   was a kid I remember Julie schlessinger [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/754">TS</a>]

00:12:37   didn't like oranges so she had to wait [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/757">TS</a>]

00:12:41   in line for a banana [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/761">TS</a>]

00:12:42   oh and she would cry and now now that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/762">TS</a>]

00:12:45   might have been a food allergy but no [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/765">TS</a>]

00:12:46   kid I knew that stuff that they just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/766">TS</a>]

00:12:48   couldn't eat because they would get sick [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/768">TS</a>]

00:12:49   that I knew of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/769">TS</a>]

00:12:51   yeah yeah but I am a hundred percent [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/771">TS</a>]

00:12:52   positive that israel now but this is the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/772">TS</a>]

00:12:55   problem with are both being from our [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/775">TS</a>]

00:12:57   generation and before [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/777">TS</a>]

00:12:58   mmm this is that this is one of those i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/778">TS</a>]

00:13:01   remember the first time I heard the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/781">TS</a>]

00:13:04   first well and the first time I heard a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/784">TS</a>]

00:13:05   DD i was in a psychologist's office [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/785">TS</a>]

00:13:09   psychiatrist's office actually and he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/789">TS</a>]

00:13:12   said [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/792">TS</a>]

00:13:13   I want you to sit in front of this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/793">TS</a>]

00:13:15   computer and and play this game and i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/795">TS</a>]

00:13:18   sat in front of a computer and i played [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/798">TS</a>]

00:13:20   this game where things flashed at me and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/800">TS</a>]

00:13:22   I was supposed to choose this thing or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/802">TS</a>]

00:13:25   that thing and then something shot [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/805">TS</a>]

00:13:27   across the screen and I was supposed to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/807">TS</a>]

00:13:29   choose between two options and I get to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/809">TS</a>]

00:13:32   the end of this not very fun game and he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/812">TS</a>]

00:13:35   goes well here's the problem you have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/815">TS</a>]

00:13:39   attention deficit disorder who and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/819">TS</a>]

00:13:42   said what's that he said oh it's this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/822">TS</a>]

00:13:45   new diagnosis where people who are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/825">TS</a>]

00:13:51   people who are struggling to integrate [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/831">TS</a>]

00:13:56   themselves into the world's it turns out [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/836">TS</a>]

00:13:58   that you are not lazy or dumb [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/838">TS</a>]

00:14:01   it's just that you can't stay focused on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/841">TS</a>]

00:14:04   things and there's a medicine for that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/844">TS</a>]

00:14:06   and I said I was old enough at this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/846">TS</a>]

00:14:11   point I like 17 that i was at and I had [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/851">TS</a>]

00:14:16   been going to psychologist for a long [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/856">TS</a>]

00:14:18   time that I was suspicious of them and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/858">TS</a>]

00:14:20   was suspicious of this diagnosis as I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/860">TS</a>]

00:14:22   think a lot of people were at first a TD [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/862">TS</a>]

00:14:25   what the hell is that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/865">TS</a>]

00:14:26   attention deficit disorder what is that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/866">TS</a>]

00:14:28   mhm and then attempted attention deficit [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/868">TS</a>]

00:14:31   hyperactivity disorder and these these [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/871">TS</a>]

00:14:32   were things when we were in when we were [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/872">TS</a>]

00:14:35   kids [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/875">TS</a>]

00:14:36   if you had that what they did it took [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/876">TS</a>]

00:14:37   you out of class and let you test market [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/877">TS</a>]

00:14:39   some toys in usually with school you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/879">TS</a>]

00:14:42   know what I mean like that was that was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/882">TS</a>]

00:14:43   their shares your prescription complete [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/883">TS</a>]

00:14:45   stretch armstrong yeah or like he's a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/885">TS</a>]

00:14:47   spirited little kid or whatever it was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/887">TS</a>]

00:14:50   you know but all of a sudden that the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/890">TS</a>]

00:14:51   EPA to become a pathology and now of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/891">TS</a>]

00:14:55   course we live in a world where I mean I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/895">TS</a>]

00:14:58   don't spend a lot of time in great [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/898">TS</a>]

00:14:59   schools yet but i imagine when you're in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/899">TS</a>]

00:15:01   great schools now the number of kids [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/901">TS</a>]

00:15:04   that have attention deficit [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/904">TS</a>]

00:15:05   hyperactivity disorder or something on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/905">TS</a>]

00:15:07   that spectrum it's probably forty [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/907">TS</a>]

00:15:09   percent of the kids in the school and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/909">TS</a>]

00:15:12   when you combine food allergies as [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/912">TS</a>]

00:15:15   burgers all the other ways in which [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/915">TS</a>]

00:15:18   we're now get dyslexia [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/918">TS</a>]

00:15:22   yeah well I mean is there really is a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/922">TS</a>]

00:15:24   lesser-known it's a long time [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/924">TS</a>]

00:15:26   thing and it's like yeah here's the kid [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/926">TS</a>]

00:15:28   writes his letters backwards but but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/928">TS</a>]

00:15:30   there are a lot of parents that are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/930">TS</a>]

00:15:33   self-diagnosing their kids as Bergen and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/933">TS</a>]

00:15:36   a lot of parents that are still like in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/936">TS</a>]

00:15:38   denial about it but their next-door [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/938">TS</a>]

00:15:39   neighbors are diagnosing their kids as [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/939">TS</a>]

00:15:41   birkin that's the aerial i mean i i've [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/941">TS</a>]

00:15:44   got a couple kids in my life with with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/944">TS</a>]

00:15:46   legitimate like you can tell [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/946">TS</a>]

00:15:48   plus the doctor said ass burgers and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/948">TS</a>]

00:15:49   everybody but their parents I was ready [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/949">TS</a>]

00:15:53   to cop to that the parents were the last [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/953">TS</a>]

00:15:55   but yeah I mean if your kids got a thing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/955">TS</a>]

00:15:57   you don't you don't want to be labeled [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/957">TS</a>]

00:15:59   you know it well [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/959">TS</a>]

00:16:00   right except that except that I mean in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/960">TS</a>]

00:16:02   park slope right now if your kid doesn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/962">TS</a>]

00:16:03   have a thing who your gotta get a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/963">TS</a>]

00:16:06   special special school [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/966">TS</a>]

00:16:07   he's the outlier and I mean you remember [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/967">TS</a>]

00:16:09   when we were and this is true all the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/969">TS</a>]

00:16:11   way through high school for us there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/971">TS</a>]

00:16:13   were kids that were separated out and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/973">TS</a>]

00:16:15   put in special classes but there was one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/975">TS</a>]

00:16:18   special class there was one special [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/978">TS</a>]

00:16:20   class and everybody you know everybody [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/980">TS</a>]

00:16:22   went there including probably now that i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/982">TS</a>]

00:16:25   think about it kids who were mentally [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/985">TS</a>]

00:16:28   functioning at a high level but they [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/988">TS</a>]

00:16:29   just had a palsy or something [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/989">TS</a>]

00:16:31   how is it was ridiculous in the same [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/991">TS</a>]

00:16:33   thing happen my dad with dyslexia and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/993">TS</a>]

00:16:34   Men and poor vision and it's what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/994">TS</a>]

00:16:37   happened a lot of people and you get [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/997">TS</a>]

00:16:39   this one place that basically becomes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/999">TS</a>]

00:16:40   like a what a pedagogical holding cell [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1000">TS</a>]

00:16:43   and so so people with profound [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1003">TS</a>]

00:16:45   personality problems legitimate [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1005">TS</a>]

00:16:47   depression serious health problems or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1007">TS</a>]

00:16:49   maybe they just read too fast [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1009">TS</a>]

00:16:52   yeah right read too fast right well but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1012">TS</a>]

00:16:55   but i guess the getting getting back to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1015">TS</a>]

00:16:57   your point at which is that it's very [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1017">TS</a>]

00:16:59   like we were raised certainly I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1019">TS</a>]

00:17:02   raised in an environment where mind my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1022">TS</a>]

00:17:05   initial response to this like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1025">TS</a>]

00:17:08   proliferation of human problems was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1028">TS</a>]

00:17:12   suspicion that that people were making [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1032">TS</a>]

00:17:15   up these diagnoses that that that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1035">TS</a>]

00:17:18   chronic fatigue syndrome and attention [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1038">TS</a>]

00:17:21   deficit hyperactivity disorder were on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1041">TS</a>]

00:17:24   the same spectrum which was the spectrum [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1044">TS</a>]

00:17:26   of people making shit up about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1046">TS</a>]

00:17:27   themselves to excuse their shoddy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1047">TS</a>]

00:17:29   performance and as you know as time goes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1049">TS</a>]

00:17:32   on you accept [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1052">TS</a>]

00:17:34   you accept that these things are real [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1054">TS</a>]

00:17:36   you think back to our childhood when [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1056">TS</a>]

00:17:39   none of these things existed in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1059">TS</a>]

00:17:40   everybody had to just cope if the if [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1060">TS</a>]

00:17:44   these problems existed 40 years ago your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1064">TS</a>]

00:17:46   your solution was cope or go to the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1066">TS</a>]

00:17:49   special class where you have to wear a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1069">TS</a>]

00:17:51   helmet [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1071">TS</a>]

00:17:52   absolutely and I mean in terms of like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1072">TS</a>]

00:17:54   today the so many kids go to private [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1074">TS</a>]

00:17:55   school [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1075">TS</a>]

00:17:56   I mean and again you can't really can't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1076">TS</a>]

00:17:57   compare there's so many different [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1077">TS</a>]

00:17:58   variables that have changed in the last [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1078">TS</a>]

00:18:01   40 years but you know the only kids I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1081">TS</a>]

00:18:03   knew who went to private school went to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1083">TS</a>]

00:18:05   private school because it was a Catholic [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1085">TS</a>]

00:18:06   school and just went that was I didn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1086">TS</a>]

00:18:08   know anybody who went to the like the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1088">TS</a>]

00:18:10   huntington academy or something like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1090">TS</a>]

00:18:11   that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1091">TS</a>]

00:18:12   now they want to probably isn't just got [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1092">TS</a>]

00:18:14   finger in the pooper uh-huh sure and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1094">TS</a>]

00:18:16   free bread and butter but you know so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1096">TS</a>]

00:18:19   you camp so I i become more sensitive [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1099">TS</a>]

00:18:22   you can only hear caches million threads [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1102">TS</a>]

00:18:23   here it's supposed to supposed to eat [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1103">TS</a>]

00:18:25   again where we made it through the age [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1105">TS</a>]

00:18:27   of reason you know we don't believe that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1107">TS</a>]

00:18:29   there's a you know a troll in your head [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1109">TS</a>]

00:18:31   tiny troll causing your headache and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1111">TS</a>]

00:18:32   stuff like that and so when should you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1112">TS</a>]

00:18:34   use haha just an animist you just say to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1114">TS</a>]

00:18:40   my dad he would say stuff you don't be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1120">TS</a>]

00:18:42   like marinara [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1122">TS</a>]

00:18:43   oh it's great that you're a musician [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1123">TS</a>]

00:18:45   that some it's it's your jeans for genes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1125">TS</a>]

00:18:50   are responsible for you being a good [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1130">TS</a>]

00:18:52   musician i would say screw off thats [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1132">TS</a>]

00:18:56   that well stroll in your head there's a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1136">TS</a>]

00:18:58   Welsh troll that lives in your brain all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1138">TS</a>]

00:19:00   that trouble is so fucking well she's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1140">TS</a>]

00:19:02   not even fun comes up with shitty things [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1142">TS</a>]

00:19:03   to say he started rubbing alcohol and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1143">TS</a>]

00:19:06   your 3-way family takes the credit away [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1146">TS</a>]

00:19:08   from me that well stroll in your brain [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1148">TS</a>]

00:19:10   and he was like I don't have a well [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1150">TS</a>]

00:19:11   stroll and we would get would argue [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1151">TS</a>]

00:19:14   about the wealth troll that lives inside [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1154">TS</a>]

00:19:15   of you know exactly who would say [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1155">TS</a>]

00:19:16   there's no well stroll is a guy who has [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1156">TS</a>]

00:19:18   a well stroll [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1158">TS</a>]

00:19:19   yeah yeah yeahs well stroll is what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1159">TS</a>]

00:19:21   saying there's no well I'm not in denial [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1161">TS</a>]

00:19:24   I'm not a well stroll girl stroll [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1164">TS</a>]

00:19:27   I'm senses that like a couple things [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1167">TS</a>]

00:19:29   here 10 yeah irritable bowel syndrome [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1169">TS</a>]

00:19:31   that's another thing you know I've got [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1171">TS</a>]

00:19:33   I've got the intestinal issues but i do [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1173">TS</a>]

00:19:35   not have IBS and some ways I'm grateful [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1175">TS</a>]

00:19:37   to go nitro disease i get the other one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1177">TS</a>]

00:19:40   oh yeah but it's like we talked about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1180">TS</a>]

00:19:42   that you want but I vs is that it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1182">TS</a>]

00:19:44   by you stay there when i'm having a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1184">TS</a>]

00:19:47   tough time [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1187">TS</a>]

00:19:48   yeah I know dear but you but unlike a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1188">TS</a>]

00:19:49   lot of people you keep chopsticks on the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1189">TS</a>]

00:19:51   back of the toilet to go through your oh [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1191">TS</a>]

00:19:54   yeah terms of that just kind of sifting [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1194">TS</a>]

00:19:56   through doing a little bit of panning ya [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1196">TS</a>]

00:19:58   little panting panting for corn I keep [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1198">TS</a>]

00:20:01   that I keep some poultry shears I'm a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1201">TS</a>]

00:20:04   very fine mesh and of course index cards [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1204">TS</a>]

00:20:07   haha yeah well I've got an old toilet [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1207">TS</a>]

00:20:12   um yes anyway IBS is a bummer because [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1212">TS</a>]

00:20:14   you get this weird comment isn't like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1214">TS</a>]

00:20:16   you know I BS you get sometimes you get [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1216">TS</a>]

00:20:18   diarrhea and sometimes but a lot of the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1218">TS</a>]

00:20:20   times you're constipated the most of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1220">TS</a>]

00:20:21   your kind of impact that Beth Orton that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1221">TS</a>]

00:20:23   singer that Beth Orton lady had it and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1223">TS</a>]

00:20:24   then it really screwed her up [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1224">TS</a>]

00:20:26   that's one of those that were you go in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1226">TS</a>]

00:20:27   like with a migraine I don't think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1227">TS</a>]

00:20:29   unless you do one of those made-up [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1229">TS</a>]

00:20:30   phony-baloney fmri kind of things I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1230">TS</a>]

00:20:33   don't think you can go and say oh yeah [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1233">TS</a>]

00:20:34   you have migraines I think it's all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1234">TS</a>]

00:20:35   based on symptoms aren't that many you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1235">TS</a>]

00:20:38   get signs and symptoms symptoms are what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1238">TS</a>]

00:20:40   friends are for pussies [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1240">TS</a>]

00:20:41   he's got a bad and I think he's good and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1241">TS</a>]

00:20:44   like drugged up on stuff that he doesn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1244">TS</a>]

00:20:46   like taking to keep them even manageable [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1246">TS</a>]

00:20:48   and even then they're not super [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1248">TS</a>]

00:20:48   manageable my mom get some however often [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1248">TS</a>]

00:20:53   well that's the thing that has like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1253">TS</a>]

00:20:54   forever but there are crippling she has [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1254">TS</a>]

00:20:57   that pain threshold thing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1257">TS</a>]

00:20:58   oh your mom and the pain where when she [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1258">TS</a>]

00:21:01   says like there's a headache coming and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1261">TS</a>]

00:21:06   I need to close the blinds and go [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1266">TS</a>]

00:21:08   upstairs [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1268">TS</a>]

00:21:09   it was so over Gibson it's so it's so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1269">TS</a>]

00:21:13   disconcerting because she is so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1273">TS</a>]

00:21:16   unaffected by pain in most situations [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1276">TS</a>]

00:21:18   but it's like oh no what is this madness [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1278">TS</a>]

00:21:23   like I was wondering about that when you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1283">TS</a>]

00:21:25   said that she got them because you said [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1285">TS</a>]

00:21:27   you how God gives you the beard that you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1287">TS</a>]

00:21:29   deserve [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1289">TS</a>]

00:21:29   I wonder you know the pain is one of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1289">TS</a>]

00:21:31   those things that's so hard to quantify [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1291">TS</a>]

00:21:32   because it is you know you're the only [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1292">TS</a>]

00:21:35   one who's feeling the pain and certainly [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1295">TS</a>]

00:21:38   based on history they can say that if [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1298">TS</a>]

00:21:39   you've got a gunshot wound to the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1299">TS</a>]

00:21:42   abdomen there's a pretty good chance [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1302">TS</a>]

00:21:43   you're going to call that a seven eight [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1303">TS</a>]

00:21:45   nine or maybe ten you have that so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1305">TS</a>]

00:21:47   that's one of the that's traditionally [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1307">TS</a>]

00:21:48   one of the pain that sort of stainless [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1308">TS</a>]

00:21:50   that's pancreatic cancer shot will [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1310">TS</a>]

00:21:52   consider to the gunshot to the to the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1312">TS</a>]

00:21:54   belly [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1314">TS</a>]

00:21:55   yeah right that's pretty bad news that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1315">TS</a>]

00:21:57   but with your mom see that's the thing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1317">TS</a>]

00:21:59   when you say that God gives people in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1319">TS</a>]

00:22:00   the beer that they deserve [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1320">TS</a>]

00:22:01   I wonder if like you get the migraine [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1321">TS</a>]

00:22:03   that I mean I bet your migraine sucks [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1323">TS</a>]

00:22:07   for everybody but there's not that many [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1327">TS</a>]

00:22:09   people that get a migraine that just go [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1329">TS</a>]

00:22:10   i can just deal with this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1330">TS</a>]

00:22:12   yeah you know me brush it off yeah yeah [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1332">TS</a>]

00:22:13   and yet she sees the she starts seeing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1333">TS</a>]

00:22:16   halos of light and yet last year classic [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1336">TS</a>]

00:22:18   yeah she's like I'm out of here and it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1338">TS</a>]

00:22:20   you know it doesn't even hurt yet she's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1340">TS</a>]

00:22:22   just like delirious and I throw up and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1342">TS</a>]

00:22:25   want to die i have never had a migraine [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1345">TS</a>]

00:22:27   and I'm pretty fortunate and you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1347">TS</a>]

00:22:30   for a lot of people are the triggers [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1350">TS</a>]

00:22:31   right you can have like you know like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1351">TS</a>]

00:22:33   red wine or chocolate or there's I guess [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1353">TS</a>]

00:22:36   all kinds of things and if you're very [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1356">TS</a>]

00:22:37   sensitive don't listen to this because [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1357">TS</a>]

00:22:38   even listening this could probably give [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1358">TS</a>]

00:22:40   him a migraine but all those things they [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1360">TS</a>]

00:22:41   also because you feel like your monkey [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1361">TS</a>]

00:22:42   balls right like all the sudden you got [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1362">TS</a>]

00:22:44   this thing nobody can see but you don't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1364">TS</a>]

00:22:46   let me say one more thing about the ad [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1366">TS</a>]

00:22:47   because you know if you got two little [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1367">TS</a>]

00:22:49   kids let's see how to play date another [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1369">TS</a>]

00:22:51   kid comes over and you know the classic [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1371">TS</a>]

00:22:52   you must face in your own home actually [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1372">TS</a>]

00:22:54   love to hear how your mom handle this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1374">TS</a>]

00:22:56   there's one large piece of cake left and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1376">TS</a>]

00:22:59   there's two kids so what do you do [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1379">TS</a>]

00:23:02   my mom throws the kick in the yard [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1382">TS</a>]

00:23:03   that's a light cake that's not your cake [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1383">TS</a>]

00:23:07   but mom says no gig for anybody just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1387">TS</a>]

00:23:10   keeps it on the counter and some [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1390">TS</a>]

00:23:12   Tupperware and it's just there and then [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1392">TS</a>]

00:23:14   you finally you ask out the window is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1394">TS</a>]

00:23:17   that my mom used to buy grape juice for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1397">TS</a>]

00:23:20   my sister it was a special treat that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1400">TS</a>]

00:23:22   she would give my sister a glass of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1402">TS</a>]

00:23:24   grape juice [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1404">TS</a>]

00:23:25   Susan expensive she was insane about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1405">TS</a>]

00:23:27   grape juice and it was very expensive in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1407">TS</a>]

00:23:29   the seventies you know when we were our [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1409">TS</a>]

00:23:31   weekly food budget well love the juices [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1411">TS</a>]

00:23:33   they were it was one of the more costly [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1413">TS</a>]

00:23:34   yeah and we had like four dollars and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1414">TS</a>]

00:23:36   thirty-five cents to feed the three of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1416">TS</a>]

00:23:37   us for a week she would buy grape juice [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1417">TS</a>]

00:23:41   and she would have portion it out in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1421">TS</a>]

00:23:42   glasses to Susan I didn't really care [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1422">TS</a>]

00:23:44   about grape juice but the scriptures was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1424">TS</a>]

00:23:47   for Susan and she gave it to Susan so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1427">TS</a>]

00:23:49   sparingly that the that the bottle of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1429">TS</a>]

00:23:52   grape juice like routinely turn to wine [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1432">TS</a>]

00:23:55   attractive turns cooking vinegar in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1435">TS</a>]

00:23:59   fridge before Susan was able to all its [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1439">TS</a>]

00:24:02   Nevel [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1442">TS</a>]

00:24:03   no yeah and then sat in there every time [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1443">TS</a>]

00:24:04   you open the fridge like there's the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1444">TS</a>]

00:24:05   grape juice but a more conventional [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1445">TS</a>]

00:24:07   homes when you when you have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1447">TS</a>]

00:24:08   a large slice of cake and two kids at [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1448">TS</a>]

00:24:11   the classic way to do this prisoner's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1451">TS</a>]

00:24:12   dilemma kind of thing right or 10 game [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1452">TS</a>]

00:24:14   theory I guess one of you one of you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1454">TS</a>]

00:24:17   cuts and the other chooses and the other [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1457">TS</a>]

00:24:19   chooses and that ensures that one person [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1459">TS</a>]

00:24:22   is going to make the most even cut [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1462">TS</a>]

00:24:23   possible right and i think that is an [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1463">TS</a>]

00:24:26   interesting principle in in many things [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1466">TS</a>]

00:24:28   that place that another example place [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1468">TS</a>]

00:24:29   that I used to work we had we did [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1469">TS</a>]

00:24:32   environmental consulting but one thing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1472">TS</a>]

00:24:34   that gave us credibility was that we did [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1474">TS</a>]

00:24:36   environmental assessment but not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1476">TS</a>]

00:24:38   environmental remediation really why [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1478">TS</a>]

00:24:40   would you go out and hire the same [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1480">TS</a>]

00:24:42   person to tell you what your problem is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1482">TS</a>]

00:24:44   and then how much it would cost for them [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1484">TS</a>]

00:24:45   to fix it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1485">TS</a>]

00:24:46   oh you just described the entire Chinese [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1486">TS</a>]

00:24:48   economy and your father in the mechanic [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1488">TS</a>]

00:24:51   well yeah I mean that's that is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1491">TS</a>]

00:24:54   analogous to certain elegance to it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1494">TS</a>]

00:24:56   half of the graft in America but this is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1496">TS</a>]

00:24:58   again this is a problem with public [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1498">TS</a>]

00:24:59   schools now and I've had several a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1499">TS</a>]

00:25:01   handful of friends with kids in schools [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1501">TS</a>]

00:25:02   and it's it's just very getting a class [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1502">TS</a>]

00:25:05   with 50 kids wear your kid cannot take [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1505">TS</a>]

00:25:08   up more than two percent of the time [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1508">TS</a>]

00:25:11   that would be if you're if you've got a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1511">TS</a>]

00:25:13   kid who for whatever reason takes up [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1513">TS</a>]

00:25:16   four percent or eight percent of the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1516">TS</a>]

00:25:18   time you pull them aside you bring the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1518">TS</a>]

00:25:20   parent in and you say this is your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1520">TS</a>]

00:25:21   problem [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1521">TS</a>]

00:25:22   this is not our problem our problem is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1522">TS</a>]

00:25:24   we have no money and a class full of 50 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1524">TS</a>]

00:25:26   kids right so you need to figure out how [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1526">TS</a>]

00:25:29   this kid goes back to two percent or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1529">TS</a>]

00:25:31   less i wish they had used that metric [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1531">TS</a>]

00:25:33   when I was a kid because I wanted to be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1533">TS</a>]

00:25:35   taking a 0% of the teachers time just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1535">TS</a>]

00:25:38   being left alone to sit at my desk and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1538">TS</a>]

00:25:40   draw army men room or look at lookin at [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1540">TS</a>]

00:25:43   lookin encyclopedia look at the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1543">TS</a>]

00:25:45   encyclopedia or stare at a spot on the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1545">TS</a>]

00:25:46   wall kind of inciting gauge me I you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1546">TS</a>]

00:25:49   keep calling on me I like just be if I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1549">TS</a>]

00:25:53   could just go to that shelf with the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1553">TS</a>]

00:25:55   with the world books and just sit there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1555">TS</a>]

00:25:56   I would've done it all day long yeah I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1556">TS</a>]

00:25:59   will listen I'll listen in on your class [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1559">TS</a>]

00:26:01   on your silly ass class who I'll be over [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1561">TS</a>]

00:26:04   here with these books and if I if [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1564">TS</a>]

00:26:05   there's a get there if you are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1565">TS</a>]

00:26:07   addressing something I don't already [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1567">TS</a>]

00:26:08   know I look it up in these books how's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1568">TS</a>]

00:26:10   that sound [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1570">TS</a>]

00:26:11   here's the thing if for example I can't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1571">TS</a>]

00:26:14   find H through I because someone has not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1574">TS</a>]

00:26:16   put it back in the proper place [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1576">TS</a>]

00:26:18   i will raise my hand and ask where the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1578">TS</a>]

00:26:20   location of h3o is and apart from that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1580">TS</a>]

00:26:22   we don't really need to talk here [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1582">TS</a>]

00:26:24   yeah exactly but you know this has [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1584">TS</a>]

00:26:26   become a cliché but i think it's true [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1586">TS</a>]

00:26:28   at least in one instance i know of it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1588">TS</a>]

00:26:30   very true what they said look to get [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1590">TS</a>]

00:26:31   your kid back to the end percent that he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1591">TS</a>]

00:26:34   or she needs to be you need to take care [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1594">TS</a>]

00:26:36   of this so essentially they're saying so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1596">TS</a>]

00:26:37   that's why they're dopin kids at home [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1597">TS</a>]

00:26:39   well i mean i think that is look at this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1599">TS</a>]

00:26:42   way a lot of lot of households if you've [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1602">TS</a>]

00:26:44   got two parents in the household which [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1604">TS</a>]

00:26:46   is increasingly not so common you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1606">TS</a>]

00:26:47   like everybody's working everybody's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1607">TS</a>]

00:26:49   busy everybody there's not that much you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1609">TS</a>]

00:26:51   can do not that flexibility much [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1611">TS</a>]

00:26:53   flexibility for anybody and so I mean I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1613">TS</a>]

00:26:56   think that the response of the idea i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1616">TS</a>]

00:26:57   cannot prove this yet because luckily [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1617">TS</a>]

00:27:00   it's not a public school yet but you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1620">TS</a>]

00:27:02   know that apparently happens when you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1622">TS</a>]

00:27:05   especially when you get to 5th 6th 7th [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1625">TS</a>]

00:27:07   8th grade they're going to say look [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1627">TS</a>]

00:27:08   here's your options focalin or adderall [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1628">TS</a>]

00:27:10   are there any questions well you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1630">TS</a>]

00:27:12   and that's why we need to you need to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1632">TS</a>]

00:27:15   institute that third option which is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1635">TS</a>]

00:27:16   building trail over like you give you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1636">TS</a>]

00:27:20   give your kids some of this this like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1640">TS</a>]

00:27:23   personality doling medic medication or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1643">TS</a>]

00:27:25   get them out in the bright sunshine [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1645">TS</a>]

00:27:27   where Medicare where Mount see every day [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1647">TS</a>]

00:27:31   I see it every day with our kid that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1651">TS</a>]

00:27:32   that the wearing out is good [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1652">TS</a>]

00:27:34   yeah uh I mean that the things that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1654">TS</a>]

00:27:37   thing about this undiagnosable on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1657">TS</a>]

00:27:39   seeable malady who epidemic that's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1659">TS</a>]

00:27:43   happening i think in America like for me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1663">TS</a>]

00:27:46   it comes home to roost because I suffer [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1666">TS</a>]

00:27:49   from depression who I'm I'm outing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1669">TS</a>]

00:27:52   myself if it wasn't already abundantly [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1672">TS</a>]

00:27:55   clear and it is very hard for me to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1675">TS</a>]

00:27:59   accept that for myself like it is very [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1679">TS</a>]

00:28:03   hard for me to acknowledge it as not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1683">TS</a>]

00:28:06   being a personality flaw you know and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1686">TS</a>]

00:28:09   also a weakness [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1689">TS</a>]

00:28:10   yeah so I look at you know I look at the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1690">TS</a>]

00:28:12   course of of a typical day or a look at [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1692">TS</a>]

00:28:14   the arc of nine months of my life and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1694">TS</a>]

00:28:16   go [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1696">TS</a>]

00:28:17   the only thing that can account for the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1697">TS</a>]

00:28:20   way that for the choices I've been [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1700">TS</a>]

00:28:22   making is that I'm suffering from [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1702">TS</a>]

00:28:24   depression i'm clearly suffering and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1704">TS</a>]

00:28:25   everywhere I go every time I talk to a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1705">TS</a>]

00:28:27   doctor and I say hear my problems doctor [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1707">TS</a>]

00:28:29   and I run down my problems they're like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1709">TS</a>]

00:28:31   well you have severe depression I go [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1711">TS</a>]

00:28:32   yeah I know but come on help me out here [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1712">TS</a>]

00:28:35   with something [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1715">TS</a>]

00:28:38   yeah you gotta get something is there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1718">TS</a>]

00:28:39   something physically difficult that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1719">TS</a>]

00:28:41   can do or something that I could resist [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1721">TS</a>]

00:28:43   doing for a few months that might [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1723">TS</a>]

00:28:45   improve its but yeah I pretty good at [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1725">TS</a>]

00:28:47   that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1727">TS</a>]

00:28:47   this is the matter i mean anybody could [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1727">TS</a>]

00:28:49   tell that give me something to work with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1729">TS</a>]

00:28:51   here and you know and I was like for a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1731">TS</a>]

00:28:55   while there I was thinking [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1735">TS</a>]

00:28:57   listen I'm a drug addict but uh but I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1737">TS</a>]

00:29:00   mean adderalls not a drug it's a it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1740">TS</a>]

00:29:03   like an attention focused sir and people [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1743">TS</a>]

00:29:05   were writing me i said this on the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1745">TS</a>]

00:29:07   internet a couple of times people riding [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1747">TS</a>]

00:29:08   me like dat all the drug is totally [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1748">TS</a>]

00:29:10   drugged [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1750">TS</a>]

00:29:11   don't kid yourself i miss it i miss it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1751">TS</a>]

00:29:13   if I don't take it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1753">TS</a>]

00:29:14   yeah but I can feel the difference oh [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1754">TS</a>]

00:29:16   how I don't know how have you in how [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1756">TS</a>]

00:29:19   long you've been arrow like okay talk [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1759">TS</a>]

00:29:22   about time I don't even ok talking about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1762">TS</a>]

00:29:25   that about being depressed him [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1765">TS</a>]

00:29:27   I mean you mentioned on twitter like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1767">TS</a>]

00:29:28   last year well the thing about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1768">TS</a>]

00:29:30   depression is that i think when i was a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1770">TS</a>]

00:29:33   kid when I was a lot like early teens [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1773">TS</a>]

00:29:40   being diagnosed with depression i didn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1780">TS</a>]

00:29:45   feel like it had any stigma at all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1785">TS</a>]

00:29:47   I felt like there it was it was a fairly [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1787">TS</a>]

00:29:49   glamorous diagnosis because depression [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1789">TS</a>]

00:29:52   was a it seemed exotic it seemed like a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1792">TS</a>]

00:29:56   German disease it seems like something [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1796">TS</a>]

00:30:00   that if you had depression you would [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1800">TS</a>]

00:30:02   ultimately you would ultimately be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1802">TS</a>]

00:30:04   wearing a black suit lounging on a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1804">TS</a>]

00:30:07   Shay's and someone would be painting you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1807">TS</a>]

00:30:10   and oils it's certainly an interesting [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1810">TS</a>]

00:30:12   thing to have you know like and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1812">TS</a>]

00:30:15   particularly as a ten-year-old to be to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1815">TS</a>]

00:30:18   have somebody say like well it seems [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1818">TS</a>]

00:30:20   like you have depression I was like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1820">TS</a>]

00:30:23   that's a very adult sounding thing to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1823">TS</a>]

00:30:26   have and it feels very like it feels a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1826">TS</a>]

00:30:29   but it feels very Continental but I'll [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1829">TS</a>]

00:30:32   accept that so I never felt that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1832">TS</a>]

00:30:35   depression was a was a thing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1835">TS</a>]

00:30:38   it was only later when people started [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1838">TS</a>]

00:30:40   coming coming out as the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1840">TS</a>]

00:30:43   pressed and being a and talking about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1843">TS</a>]

00:30:46   the stigma that they felt it was only [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1846">TS</a>]

00:30:49   later that I it even occurred to me that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1849">TS</a>]

00:30:51   there was stigma around it because [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1851">TS</a>]

00:30:52   depression seemed i guess to me like the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1852">TS</a>]

00:30:55   only reasonable response to an insane [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1855">TS</a>]

00:30:58   world why would you feel a stigma right [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1858">TS</a>]

00:31:00   but but uh and so so my whatever [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1860">TS</a>]

00:31:05   reticence I had to talk about it was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1865">TS</a>]

00:31:07   entirely a reticence based on I did I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1867">TS</a>]

00:31:10   just don't like to reveal things about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1870">TS</a>]

00:31:12   myself to strangers right you know like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1872">TS</a>]

00:31:15   a I said I don't mention my daughter's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1875">TS</a>]

00:31:17   name or whatever the same thing like I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1877">TS</a>]

00:31:20   don't talk about my problems because [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1880">TS</a>]

00:31:21   because ultimately if you say something [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1881">TS</a>]

00:31:23   on the internet you get a bunch of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1883">TS</a>]

00:31:24   Concerned a well-liked dm's from your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1884">TS</a>]

00:31:29   friends going is everything ok are you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1889">TS</a>]

00:31:31   ok [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1891">TS</a>]

00:31:32   it's like yeah I mentioned depressed i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1892">TS</a>]

00:31:34   mentioned the depression that I have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1894">TS</a>]

00:31:35   that I've had for 17 years [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1895">TS</a>]

00:31:38   it's not like it's not like I'm peaking [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1898">TS</a>]

00:31:39   I'm not standing on a bridge who um but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1899">TS</a>]

00:31:43   but as time goes on i guess i guess what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1903">TS</a>]

00:31:46   i'm talking about more is that I can I I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1906">TS</a>]

00:31:49   always thought as you got older that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1909">TS</a>]

00:31:51   that depression was a thing that you had [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1911">TS</a>]

00:31:54   when you were in your teens or early [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1914">TS</a>]

00:31:55   twenties and when you were very wit your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1915">TS</a>]

00:31:58   peak dramatic years when you're feeling [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1918">TS</a>]

00:32:00   very dramatic and it continued into my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1920">TS</a>]

00:32:02   thirties because every aspect of my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1922">TS</a>]

00:32:05   youth continued into my thirties I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1925">TS</a>]

00:32:07   still a teenager at 37 years old but now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1927">TS</a>]

00:32:11   that I'm in my forties and it is not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1931">TS</a>]

00:32:13   waning if anything it is waxing it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1933">TS</a>]

00:32:18   started to be a thing like okay you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1938">TS</a>]

00:32:19   what I'm going to just start talking [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1939">TS</a>]

00:32:21   about this more because um because it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1941">TS</a>]

00:32:25   act it's actually a feature on my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1945">TS</a>]

00:32:27   landscape it's a thing that every [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1947">TS</a>]

00:32:29   morning I wake up and and even if there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1949">TS</a>]

00:32:32   are no owls in my room there is always [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1952">TS</a>]

00:32:34   this like this bugbear and I go uh you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1954">TS</a>]

00:32:40   again and you know a lot of the stuff [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1960">TS</a>]

00:32:43   that you and I talked about orbits [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1963">TS</a>]

00:32:45   around this this issue that you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1965">TS</a>]

00:32:49   that feeling of dissatisfaction in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1969">TS</a>]

00:32:52   feeling of everything that you've [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1972">TS</a>]

00:32:54   accomplished adds up to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1974">TS</a>]

00:32:56   yes uh huh you know that there's no [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1976">TS</a>]

00:32:59   there's no reasonable way I could think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1979">TS</a>]

00:33:05   that and that's what that that's because [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1985">TS</a>]

00:33:08   depression is unreasonable it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1988">TS</a>]

00:33:10   completely unreasonable and and the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1990">TS</a>]

00:33:12   thing that has caused me to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1992">TS</a>]

00:33:13   misunderstand it and and really really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1993">TS</a>]

00:33:16   eat the booger on how I dealt with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1996">TS</a>]

00:33:18   somebody important in my life had [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/1998">TS</a>]

00:33:20   depression and i know it was that I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2000">TS</a>]

00:33:22   of the ok that's long enough it's time [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2002">TS</a>]

00:33:25   to buck up school right and and you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2005">TS</a>]

00:33:27   I think you tell me if this is correct [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2007">TS</a>]

00:33:30   in your experience but my understanding [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2010">TS</a>]

00:33:31   is that the most insidious thing about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2011">TS</a>]

00:33:34   depression is not the true that a sad [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2014">TS</a>]

00:33:36   it's not that you really really sad [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2016">TS</a>]

00:33:38   it's not even that you sometimes think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2018">TS</a>]

00:33:39   about harming yourself like that's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2019">TS</a>]

00:33:41   actually stuff that a lot of people feel [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2021">TS</a>]

00:33:42   like a fair amount of the time it's just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2022">TS</a>]

00:33:45   that no matter no matter what day it is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2025">TS</a>]

00:33:48   it it feels completely impossible to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2028">TS</a>]

00:33:51   imagine a world where it could be better [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2031">TS</a>]

00:33:53   line up for a lot of people them the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2033">TS</a>]

00:33:55   worst part of it and the part that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2035">TS</a>]

00:33:57   think this set sounds like that's i'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2037">TS</a>]

00:33:59   already saying that but I think that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2039">TS</a>]

00:34:01   doesn't really sink in for people who [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2041">TS</a>]

00:34:02   don't have depression is it is fairly [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2042">TS</a>]

00:34:04   constant it does come sometimes get a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2044">TS</a>]

00:34:07   lot worse and the last thing in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2047">TS</a>]

00:34:09   world you could ever imagine is having a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2049">TS</a>]

00:34:11   get better [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2051">TS</a>]

00:34:12   it does yeah it doesn't a bait but it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2052">TS</a>]

00:34:14   also attaches itself to your normal [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2054">TS</a>]

00:34:18   sense of reason right it is it doesn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2058">TS</a>]

00:34:22   it doesn't fly how you see and decide [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2062">TS</a>]

00:34:24   yeah it's not it's not like it's not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2064">TS</a>]

00:34:26   like some kind of crazy like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2066">TS</a>]

00:34:30   republicanism we're all of a sudden you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2070">TS</a>]

00:34:32   think you're the president is a Muslim [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2072">TS</a>]

00:34:34   and you know it's not like it's not like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2074">TS</a>]

00:34:36   madness it is already went to college in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2076">TS</a>]

00:34:40   a Burger King if it is a thing it is a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2080">TS</a>]

00:34:43   thing where you look at it you make [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2083">TS</a>]

00:34:45   normal assessments [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2085">TS</a>]

00:34:47   in a way that seems absolutely rational [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2087">TS</a>]

00:34:51   but your conclusion is that you really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2091">TS</a>]

00:34:55   fucked it up [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2095">TS</a>]

00:34:56   you really are you are you are you are a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2096">TS</a>]

00:34:59   real turd in this situation you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2099">TS</a>]

00:35:01   when I I'll help start making a pot of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2101">TS</a>]

00:35:03   macaroni and cheese and there will be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2103">TS</a>]

00:35:06   three or four opportunities in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2106">TS</a>]

00:35:08   course of waiting for the water to boil [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2108">TS</a>]

00:35:09   and adding the powdered cheese packet [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2109">TS</a>]

00:35:12   and eating the macaroni and cheese where [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2112">TS</a>]

00:35:14   I feel like this macaroni and cheese is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2114">TS</a>]

00:35:17   a is a metaphor for how I'm not thriving [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2117">TS</a>]

00:35:21   and so the macaroni and cheese tastes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2121">TS</a>]

00:35:26   like a picture turns to ashes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2126">TS</a>]

00:35:31   you know like it it robs you of the the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2131">TS</a>]

00:35:34   potential to enjoy even the simple [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2134">TS</a>]

00:35:36   things because you are finding your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2136">TS</a>]

00:35:39   finding like all the all the evidence [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2139">TS</a>]

00:35:43   you need in the simple things that you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2143">TS</a>]

00:35:45   do for why you are a flop [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2145">TS</a>]

00:35:50   it's the things around you that stepped [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2150">TS</a>]

00:35:52   on an intellectual level you may not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2152">TS</a>]

00:35:55   think have anything to do with that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2155">TS</a>]

00:35:57   start to become emblematic of like what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2157">TS</a>]

00:36:00   that person is or failure or everything [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2160">TS</a>]

00:36:02   becomes evidence evidence residence of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2162">TS</a>]

00:36:04   the second fair sight [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2164">TS</a>]

00:36:05   yeah and you're and you're Europe you're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2165">TS</a>]

00:36:08   using your ear capacity to you know that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2168">TS</a>]

00:36:13   the it is a capacity that I prize in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2173">TS</a>]

00:36:15   myself to look at the evidence to walk [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2175">TS</a>]

00:36:18   out the door and look at the evidence [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2178">TS</a>]

00:36:20   and and make decisions you know like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2180">TS</a>]

00:36:24   based on what I see and what I know you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2184">TS</a>]

00:36:28   know and that's it that is this prized [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2188">TS</a>]

00:36:30   faculty that i use everywhere I go like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2190">TS</a>]

00:36:32   haha i see how this is gonna go this guy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2192">TS</a>]

00:36:35   over here is about to throw his [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2195">TS</a>]

00:36:36   milkshake in haha he did I saw it but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2196">TS</a>]

00:36:40   you but when you turn that faculty on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2200">TS</a>]

00:36:43   yourself and all the evidence points to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2203">TS</a>]

00:36:46   that you are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2206">TS</a>]

00:36:48   a drag [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2208">TS</a>]

00:36:51   that's when you know that that that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2211">TS</a>]

00:36:54   faculty is is normally the thing I lean [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2214">TS</a>]

00:36:56   on so when it returns this evidence to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2216">TS</a>]

00:37:01   me that i am you know that that that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2221">TS</a>]

00:37:04   everything I've ever made that belongs [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2224">TS</a>]

00:37:07   on the dustbin it's very hard for me to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2227">TS</a>]

00:37:09   go well in that instance you're the in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2229">TS</a>]

00:37:14   that instance your your your faculty for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2234">TS</a>]

00:37:16   seeing is is flawed or broken because I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2236">TS</a>]

00:37:21   use it all the time I trust my faculty [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2241">TS</a>]

00:37:23   for seeing so and and that is so super [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2243">TS</a>]

00:37:28   complicated because I'm just I'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2248">TS</a>]

00:37:29   processing what you're saying yeah here [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2249">TS</a>]

00:37:31   but at some mean you you're a very [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2251">TS</a>]

00:37:34   rational guy in a lot of ways you're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2254">TS</a>]

00:37:37   certainly monkey balls in many ways but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2257">TS</a>]

00:37:39   now you're a guy who really thrives on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2259">TS</a>]

00:37:41   saying now like what is the thing that's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2261">TS</a>]

00:37:43   really hear what is the essential nature [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2263">TS</a>]

00:37:45   of this conversation that we're having [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2265">TS</a>]

00:37:47   what is the essential nature of this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2267">TS</a>]

00:37:50   deal that you're trying to offer me and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2270">TS</a>]

00:37:51   keep changing the topic about it seems [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2271">TS</a>]

00:37:53   to me that like you have the scars to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2273">TS</a>]

00:37:56   show for being somebody who was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2276">TS</a>]

00:37:58   surrounded by things that dulled the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2278">TS</a>]

00:38:01   influence of the outside world to where [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2281">TS</a>]

00:38:03   you now seriously seemed to really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2283">TS</a>]

00:38:05   thrive on having a more direct [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2285">TS</a>]

00:38:07   experience of what the fuck is really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2287">TS</a>]

00:38:10   happening and that you if there's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2290">TS</a>]

00:38:12   anything you trust about yourself [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2292">TS</a>]

00:38:14   it is your ability to know that you're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2294">TS</a>]

00:38:16   always being as honest as a human can be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2296">TS</a>]

00:38:18   about what the fuck is really happening [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2298">TS</a>]

00:38:20   here [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2300">TS</a>]

00:38:20   yeah and and when you turn around the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2300">TS</a>]

00:38:23   past that's become something and you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2303">TS</a>]

00:38:24   certainly have every reason to be proud [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2304">TS</a>]

00:38:25   of that because you went through a lot [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2305">TS</a>]

00:38:27   of shit to get to where that's your mo [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2307">TS</a>]

00:38:28   and it's so close [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2308">TS</a>]

00:38:30   well the and the problem so the problem [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2310">TS</a>]

00:38:34   is that when somebody says to me if you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2314">TS</a>]

00:38:37   take this if you take this serotonin [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2317">TS</a>]

00:38:41   reuptake inhibitor who it's going to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2321">TS</a>]

00:38:44   make you not feel that way anymore i go [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2324">TS</a>]

00:38:50   i I'm suspicious because it doesn't feel [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2330">TS</a>]

00:38:54   the depression doesn't feel alien that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2334">TS</a>]

00:38:57   is the that is what is insidious about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2337">TS</a>]

00:38:59   it it does not feel it certainly [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2339">TS</a>]

00:39:02   feels like a handicap but it doesn't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2342">TS</a>]

00:39:05   feel like a stranger doesn't feel [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2345">TS</a>]

00:39:07   external no i'm not at all you sitting [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2347">TS</a>]

00:39:10   you know because what happens is i look [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2350">TS</a>]

00:39:11   around the room and I go well come on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2351">TS</a>]

00:39:13   I mean look at that look at that look at [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2353">TS</a>]

00:39:16   that poster on the wall that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2356">TS</a>]

00:39:17   commemorates that great show that you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2357">TS</a>]

00:39:22   played like that should be a source of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2362">TS</a>]

00:39:26   like uncomplicated pleasure for you you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2366">TS</a>]

00:39:30   have a you have a beautiful poster that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2370">TS</a>]

00:39:33   commemorates this wonderful show that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2373">TS</a>]

00:39:35   you remember fondly [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2375">TS</a>]

00:39:36   how can you find a downside to that and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2376">TS</a>]

00:39:40   then the voice doesn't even need [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2380">TS</a>]

00:39:43   prompting you know it says well you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2383">TS</a>]

00:39:47   only only someone with a low self-esteem [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2387">TS</a>]

00:39:51   would need a poster to remind him that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2391">TS</a>]

00:39:54   he was that he had good things in his [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2394">TS</a>]

00:39:57   life right now doing it and how did you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2397">TS</a>]

00:39:59   get this number [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2399">TS</a>]

00:40:00   well Thea only a person you know that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2400">TS</a>]

00:40:03   and then look around the room like Oh [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2403">TS</a>]

00:40:04   everything in this room is just some [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2404">TS</a>]

00:40:06   kind of sham a reflective surface [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2406">TS</a>]

00:40:10   broadcasting your own life back to you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2410">TS</a>]

00:40:15   in these discrete chunks to try and make [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2415">TS</a>]

00:40:19   yourself feel better about what a shit [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2419">TS</a>]

00:40:21   job you've done and you know there's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2421">TS</a>]

00:40:24   nothing there is no small thing that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2424">TS</a>]

00:40:27   cannot be robbed of all its joy by this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2427">TS</a>]

00:40:31   friend who sits next to me in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2431">TS</a>]

00:40:34   cockpit and whispers in my ear and says [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2434">TS</a>]

00:40:37   oh yeah no I mean everything everything [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2437">TS</a>]

00:40:40   that you love is a thing that you love [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2440">TS</a>]

00:40:43   because you are a shame and you just you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2443">TS</a>]

00:40:47   know and and talking about it to people [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2447">TS</a>]

00:40:49   get it you know i remember the the the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2449">TS</a>]

00:40:53   friend that you referenced earlier you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2453">TS</a>]

00:40:55   know a this person that was lovely and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2455">TS</a>]

00:40:58   you loved and she struggled in the same [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2458">TS</a>]

00:41:01   way and you know i have seen that happen [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2461">TS</a>]

00:41:05   with people who struggle with depression [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2465">TS</a>]

00:41:06   is more severe than mine who are no [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2466">TS</a>]

00:41:08   longer on this earth [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2468">TS</a>]

00:41:10   who and you know I feel lucky that my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2470">TS</a>]

00:41:14   that I never the idea of harming myself [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2474">TS</a>]

00:41:16   has never occurred to me because I feel [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2476">TS</a>]

00:41:19   like when it's time for me to go I'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2479">TS</a>]

00:41:21   gonna take as many motherfuckers out [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2481">TS</a>]

00:41:23   with me as I possibly can [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2483">TS</a>]

00:41:24   there's going to be I mean if there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2484">TS</a>]

00:41:27   isn't a mushroom cloud at least to mark [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2487">TS</a>]

00:41:29   my passage from this world I really will [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2489">TS</a>]

00:41:32   have failed but but at the same time [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2492">TS</a>]

00:41:37   like this living in a kind of low-level [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2497">TS</a>]

00:41:40   gray is just no way to be it's just no [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2500">TS</a>]

00:41:44   way to be and unfortunately i can't get [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2504">TS</a>]

00:41:47   over the hump of thinking that a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2507">TS</a>]

00:41:49   serotonin reuptake inhibitor or cross [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2509">TS</a>]

00:41:52   tops or exercise or more blow jobs or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2512">TS</a>]

00:41:55   whatever it is that that that I get [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2515">TS</a>]

00:41:57   prescribed by people and I know talking [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2517">TS</a>]

00:42:00   about this i'm going to get a thousand [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2520">TS</a>]

00:42:01   tweets from people who are like all you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2521">TS</a>]

00:42:03   need to do is blah blah and let me just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2523">TS</a>]

00:42:07   I hate to break the fourth wall but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2527">TS</a>]

00:42:08   please don't send me your cures [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2528">TS</a>]

00:42:10   thoughtful people for the love of Christ [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2530">TS</a>]

00:42:15   but you know as soon as you start [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2535">TS</a>]

00:42:19   talking about it there are people that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2539">TS</a>]

00:42:21   want to help help cure you and that is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2541">TS</a>]

00:42:24   the problem but the very principle of of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2544">TS</a>]

00:42:27   of trying to seek a cure is like I have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2547">TS</a>]

00:42:34   a million reasons why that what that is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2554">TS</a>]

00:42:37   going to work in the truth this is very [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2557">TS</a>]

00:42:39   rarely as simple as about about about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2559">TS</a>]

00:42:40   but about is what somebody reports [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2560">TS</a>]

00:42:43   because that eventually worked [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2563">TS</a>]

00:42:45   yeah man and and thank God and God bless [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2565">TS</a>]

00:42:47   them but I hi a lot of my friends who [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2567">TS</a>]

00:42:49   have gotten treatment for depression is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2569">TS</a>]

00:42:51   a pretty fucking rough go and sometimes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2571">TS</a>]

00:42:54   it got worse and then sometimes they [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2574">TS</a>]

00:42:56   couldn't get a boner and and sometimes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2576">TS</a>]

00:42:58   it took two years i'm not trying to say [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2578">TS</a>]

00:43:00   don't look for help I'm also saying [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2580">TS</a>]

00:43:02   don't percent it's as simple as drink [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2582">TS</a>]

00:43:04   some green tea and walk in the woods [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2584">TS</a>]

00:43:06   you're saying that i'm looking into a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2586">TS</a>]

00:43:07   into an oboe near future so i can [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2587">TS</a>]

00:43:10   remember that men when the boner will [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2590">TS</a>]

00:43:12   stare back at you from the abyss [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2592">TS</a>]

00:43:15   yeah well you know I I'm a minute I you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2595">TS</a>]

00:43:18   know I I I don't have anything like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2598">TS</a>]

00:43:21   depression as far as i know if i have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2601">TS</a>]

00:43:24   anything it's my head your new problems [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2604">TS</a>]

00:43:26   I'd be more depressed well you know easy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2606">TS</a>]

00:43:29   you gotta just be careful about the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2609">TS</a>]

00:43:31   onions and I know how hard that would be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2611">TS</a>]

00:43:32   for you so i think really we have no [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2612">TS</a>]

00:43:34   hand are you having a hundred Henry [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2614">TS</a>]

00:43:35   situation you can have my onions [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2615">TS</a>]

00:43:40   I'll take your my haircut i'll take your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2620">TS</a>]

00:43:43   lack of occasional lack of mania ok you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2623">TS</a>]

00:43:47   know but but I don't know there's just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2627">TS</a>]

00:43:48   something that when I learned that that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2628">TS</a>]

00:43:50   really resonated with me because i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2630">TS</a>]

00:43:52   really got it I got it that's the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2632">TS</a>]

00:43:53   capital D part of depression is that it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2633">TS</a>]

00:43:56   doesn't feel like it's a veil that can [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2636">TS</a>]

00:43:57   be lifted and as you say it isn't a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2637">TS</a>]

00:43:59   matter of flicking his bugbear off your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2639">TS</a>]

00:44:00   shoulder or saying Satan I rebuke thee [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2640">TS</a>]

00:44:03   it's it's a good deal more complicated [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2643">TS</a>]

00:44:06   it's the renowned say to my Michael [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2646">TS</a>]

00:44:14   ritzy the but you know this is another [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2654">TS</a>]

00:44:18   way to put this and I'm not as you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2658">TS</a>]

00:44:19   I'm not a depression psychiatrist but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2659">TS</a>]

00:44:21   but I you know if you saw somebody [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2661">TS</a>]

00:44:23   walking around with bronchitis you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2663">TS</a>]

00:44:28   wouldn't just tell him to back up you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2668">TS</a>]

00:44:30   would have to understand that to get rid [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2670">TS</a>]

00:44:31   of that bronchitis there's certain [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2671">TS</a>]

00:44:33   things to really get rid of bronchitis [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2673">TS</a>]

00:44:34   you gotta take some antibiotics and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2674">TS</a>]

00:44:35   stuff [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2675">TS</a>]

00:44:36   well sir that matter if you saw somebody [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2676">TS</a>]

00:44:38   who is like missing a hand and he said [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2678">TS</a>]

00:44:40   we'll just try harder to get handy but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2680">TS</a>]

00:44:42   here's but here's the trick is that you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2682">TS</a>]

00:44:44   have you have mania i have depression a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2684">TS</a>]

00:44:48   little mean you don't ya [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2688">TS</a>]

00:44:51   good i got other problems i don't have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2691">TS</a>]

00:44:53   damaged hmm but these things are also [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2693">TS</a>]

00:44:57   talents [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2697">TS</a>]

00:44:59   yeah like Kierkegaard had mania and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2699">TS</a>]

00:45:04   depression and his name rings out you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2704">TS</a>]

00:45:09   know for 450 thousand years of human [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2709">TS</a>]

00:45:12   history mania and depression were things [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2712">TS</a>]

00:45:14   that were that were useful talents right [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2714">TS</a>]

00:45:18   now that made that made people become [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2718">TS</a>]

00:45:22   monks or philosophers or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2722">TS</a>]

00:45:25   or scientists or or conquerors you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2725">TS</a>]

00:45:29   these are these are not just handicaps [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2729">TS</a>]

00:45:33   they are they're very complex sort of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2733">TS</a>]

00:45:38   some rainbow of qualities and our [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2738">TS</a>]

00:45:44   fixation now and then you know in part [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2744">TS</a>]

00:45:46   of the part of why my depression is is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2746">TS</a>]

00:45:49   that is so hobbling is that i live in a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2749">TS</a>]

00:45:53   world where I have the resources and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2753">TS</a>]

00:45:56   have the inclination to further isolate [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2756">TS</a>]

00:46:00   myself from people and to live in an [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2760">TS</a>]

00:46:03   ivory tower and at any time prior in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2763">TS</a>]

00:46:08   human history unless I was a very very [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2768">TS</a>]

00:46:10   rich person I wouldn't be able to do [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2770">TS</a>]

00:46:12   that and so I would have been out in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2772">TS</a>]

00:46:13   streets and my depression would have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2773">TS</a>]

00:46:14   been mitigated somewhat by just having [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2774">TS</a>]

00:46:16   to go down to the cart to the onion cart [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2776">TS</a>]

00:46:19   and by an onion every day if I wanted an [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2779">TS</a>]

00:46:22   onion and your mania would be a likewise [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2782">TS</a>]

00:46:25   more assimilated into the culture and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2785">TS</a>]

00:46:29   particularly given that the life [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2789">TS</a>]

00:46:31   expectancy of people was 37 years by [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2791">TS</a>]

00:46:35   this point we would already be dead and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2795">TS</a>]

00:46:37   and our problems would you know would be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2797">TS</a>]

00:46:41   a bit [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2801">TS</a>]

00:46:43   whatever whatever our personality was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2803">TS</a>]

00:46:45   they would just remember us in our [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2805">TS</a>]

00:46:46   village and they'd be like yeah he was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2806">TS</a>]

00:46:48   amazing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2808">TS</a>]

00:46:49   you see that church spire he wants to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2809">TS</a>]

00:46:52   climb to clean up and ranted about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2812">TS</a>]

00:46:54   that's not real talkative guy read about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2814">TS</a>]

00:46:57   the president was a Muslim for a couple [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2817">TS</a>]

00:46:59   of days before he got tired and fell [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2819">TS</a>]

00:47:02   into the onion cart so so that that's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2822">TS</a>]

00:47:06   the that's the flip side is is that it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2826">TS</a>]

00:47:09   is in this family of modern diagnosis of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2829">TS</a>]

00:47:13   mental pathology some of which I mean I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2833">TS</a>]

00:47:18   don't see what the upside to chronic [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2838">TS</a>]

00:47:21   fatigue syndrome is except that except [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2841">TS</a>]

00:47:25   that it used to be called a what clergy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2845">TS</a>]

00:47:29   or I mean it was a alright it was a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2849">TS</a>]

00:47:32   thing that that very aristocratic women [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2852">TS</a>]

00:47:36   fell victim to wear all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2856">TS</a>]

00:47:38   where they had to lay on a on a Sunday [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2858">TS</a>]

00:47:40   fans on their fainting couch there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2860">TS</a>]

00:47:42   fainting couch with their with their you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2862">TS</a>]

00:47:45   know their ether soaked opera glasses [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2865">TS</a>]

00:47:48   yeah they're either soap opera glasses [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2868">TS</a>]

00:47:50   that exactly [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2870">TS</a>]

00:47:52   and finally I can see clearly so looking [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2872">TS</a>]

00:47:55   back through history like all of these [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2875">TS</a>]

00:47:57   if these modern diagnosis have analogs [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2877">TS</a>]

00:48:00   in the past a lot of them were either [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2880">TS</a>]

00:48:03   considered talents including bordering [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2883">TS</a>]

00:48:06   on like mystical talents or they were [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2886">TS</a>]

00:48:11   you know they were integrated into our [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2891">TS</a>]

00:48:13   culture as a like out she is she's too [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2893">TS</a>]

00:48:16   delicate for she's too delicate for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2896">TS</a>]

00:48:19   modern life and we need to bring her [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2899">TS</a>]

00:48:21   like lukewarm tea and now we are you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2901">TS</a>]

00:48:24   know we're shooting her shooting the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2904">TS</a>]

00:48:26   same person full of hormones or I don't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2906">TS</a>]

00:48:30   know or and Federman's most of the time [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2910">TS</a>]

00:48:33   who so so I'm really you know I it all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2913">TS</a>]

00:48:38   falls into this family of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2918">TS</a>]

00:48:39   psychopharmacology that that very much [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2919">TS</a>]

00:48:46   like the internet I feel like still is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2926">TS</a>]

00:48:48   in the bicycle engine stage of of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2928">TS</a>]

00:48:53   aviation where the wings are made of of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2933">TS</a>]

00:48:56   a tissue paper and somebody has a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2936">TS</a>]

00:48:59   one-and-a-half horsepower single single [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2939">TS</a>]

00:49:03   piston engine and they're flying we [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2943">TS</a>]

00:49:06   could fly right can affect the brain now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2946">TS</a>]

00:49:09   let's do it so it's all still like it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2949">TS</a>]

00:49:13   amazing how much stuff in medicine in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2953">TS</a>]

00:49:16   general and in psychopharmacology in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2956">TS</a>]

00:49:17   particular is is still just just a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2957">TS</a>]

00:49:21   little bit northeast of medieval um I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2961">TS</a>]

00:49:24   mean how in some ways like pain medicine [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2964">TS</a>]

00:49:26   is so simple the way the pain medicine [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2966">TS</a>]

00:49:28   works is is just ridiculously simple [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2968">TS</a>]

00:49:30   it's not doing something super [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2970">TS</a>]

00:49:31   sophisticated blocking the receptors but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2971">TS</a>]

00:49:34   it doesn't go to the to the broken hand [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2974">TS</a>]

00:49:36   it goes to the brain right and like with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2976">TS</a>]

00:49:38   my shrink you know and you know i always [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2978">TS</a>]

00:49:40   i hate to misquote because it's very [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2980">TS</a>]

00:49:41   exacting man but he can sit there and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2981">TS</a>]

00:49:44   show me like oh these two hands [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2984">TS</a>]

00:49:45   represented the two sides of this you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2985">TS</a>]

00:49:47   know and these drugs work together does [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2987">TS</a>]

00:49:49   this and that and it's all completely [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2989">TS</a>]

00:49:50   coaching but with the part that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2990">TS</a>]

00:49:51   really understand is that if my brain is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2991">TS</a>]

00:49:53   not making enough of this juice that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2993">TS</a>]

00:49:55   lets me be happy in life I get [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2995">TS</a>]

00:49:57   distracted right but some people use [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2997">TS</a>]

00:49:59   some people get so much of that Jews [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/2999">TS</a>]

00:50:01   yeah too much juice [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3001">TS</a>]

00:50:02   yeah i just described everybody i went [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3002">TS</a>]

00:50:04   to high school with so much is too much [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3004">TS</a>]

00:50:06   of the one kind of jitter juice not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3006">TS</a>]

00:50:09   enough of the other kind of tooth on one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3009">TS</a>]

00:50:11   end it all presupposes that there is a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3011">TS</a>]

00:50:15   that there is a correct degree of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3015">TS</a>]

00:50:20   humaneness you know that there is a that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3020">TS</a>]

00:50:22   there is an ideal amount an ideal [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3022">TS</a>]

00:50:25   balance to to any mind that translates [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3025">TS</a>]

00:50:31   across all mines so what we are seeking [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3031">TS</a>]

00:50:34   is this this balance this broken this is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3034">TS</a>]

00:50:38   healing of brokenness where I mean I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3038">TS</a>]

00:50:41   honestly cannot in some ways separate my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3041">TS</a>]

00:50:44   depression from my personality and two [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3044">TS</a>]

00:50:48   and this is the this is the problem with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3048">TS</a>]

00:50:51   schizophrenics whoo-hoo take medicine [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3051">TS</a>]

00:50:54   and they're like that i don't feel fun [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3054">TS</a>]

00:50:55   anymore [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3055">TS</a>]

00:50:56   I mean admittedly i was living under the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3056">TS</a>]

00:51:00   embarcadero but god I was seeing some [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3060">TS</a>]

00:51:04   colors right and I don't want to take [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3064">TS</a>]

00:51:06   this medicine because it makes me feel [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3066">TS</a>]

00:51:07   dull and you know and they they give up [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3067">TS</a>]

00:51:10   their job and apartment and wife and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3070">TS</a>]

00:51:12   they go back to living under the bridge [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3072">TS</a>]

00:51:13   because because there they feel like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3073">TS</a>]

00:51:17   they're like their mind isn't theirs and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3077">TS</a>]

00:51:20   and for me like I'm not sure what amount [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3080">TS</a>]

00:51:25   of healing i'm seeking and guess because [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3085">TS</a>]

00:51:28   I mean you know what have you ever [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3088">TS</a>]

00:51:29   wanted to be clinical normal in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3089">TS</a>]

00:51:30   first place [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3090">TS</a>]

00:51:31   uh well I mean that in the regard never [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3091">TS</a>]

00:51:35   seen it was an option right is it is one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3095">TS</a>]

00:51:38   of the many articles I didn't finish [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3098">TS</a>]

00:51:39   reading this week was about the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3099">TS</a>]

00:51:42   diagnosis of autism in different [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3102">TS</a>]

00:51:44   societies and how it's it's such a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3104">TS</a>]

00:51:46   tricky thing because there are and again [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3106">TS</a>]

00:51:48   I haven't finished this article yet but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3108">TS</a>]

00:51:49   but it did grab me because part of the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3109">TS</a>]

00:51:51   notion is that it you know a lot of what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3111">TS</a>]

00:51:54   we consider autism today you know these [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3114">TS</a>]

00:51:59   tests like do you make eye contact with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3119">TS</a>]

00:52:01   people can you follow this conversation [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3121">TS</a>]

00:52:02   and you know there are a lot of cultures [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3122">TS</a>]

00:52:04   where we'll be there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3124">TS</a>]

00:52:05   disrespectful for somebody feel like a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3125">TS</a>]

00:52:06   kid to look at elder in the eye while [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3126">TS</a>]

00:52:09   they're talking to them you might look [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3129">TS</a>]

00:52:10   at their face but you wouldn't look them [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3130">TS</a>]

00:52:11   in the eye [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3131">TS</a>]

00:52:12   interesting there's you know I mean this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3132">TS</a>]

00:52:13   Anu could do that any variety of decades [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3133">TS</a>]

00:52:16   it is that's probably this is a long [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3136">TS</a>]

00:52:17   walk off a short pier but you know it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3137">TS</a>]

00:52:20   that I mean I think the thing that's how [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3140">TS</a>]

00:52:23   this doesn't sound too homespun but i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3143">TS</a>]

00:52:25   think it's just natural to want to not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3145">TS</a>]

00:52:27   feel like you're on the edge you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3147">TS</a>]

00:52:29   it's it isn't isn't even to say that you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3149">TS</a>]

00:52:32   know anybody necessarily crazy like oh I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3152">TS</a>]

00:52:33   want to be like other people or I want [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3153">TS</a>]

00:52:36   you just want to not feel like fucked up [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3156">TS</a>]

00:52:37   it's just not fun to wake up every day [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3157">TS</a>]

00:52:39   and feel off balance before you even get [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3159">TS</a>]

00:52:41   out of bed [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3161">TS</a>]

00:52:42   it's really depressing yeah it is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3162">TS</a>]

00:52:44   depressing although that was exactly the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3164">TS</a>]

00:52:47   feeling i stalked from the ages of 16 to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3167">TS</a>]

00:52:50   30 like I wanted to feel on the edge all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3170">TS</a>]

00:52:55   the time that was how life felt [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3175">TS</a>]

00:52:57   meaningful and real to me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3177">TS</a>]

00:53:00   uh-huh um and I look at other I look at [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3180">TS</a>]

00:53:02   young people [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3182">TS</a>]

00:53:03   cool arm who are engaging life in a very [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3183">TS</a>]

00:53:09   different way than i did want you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3189">TS</a>]

00:53:11   when I was that age I oh I did this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3191">TS</a>]

00:53:14   video shoot down in in la month or two [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3194">TS</a>]

00:53:21   ago and one of the camera operators on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3201">TS</a>]

00:53:23   the shoot was like 21 and very competent [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3203">TS</a>]

00:53:29   camera operator and I got chatting with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3209">TS</a>]

00:53:33   him and said you know how did you get [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3213">TS</a>]

00:53:35   here and he's like well you know when i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3215">TS</a>]

00:53:36   graduated from high school I really [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3216">TS</a>]

00:53:38   wanted to make movies so they were [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3218">TS</a>]

00:53:43   filming an episode of portlandia in my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3223">TS</a>]

00:53:46   town I was 16 and I just went over and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3226">TS</a>]

00:53:50   hung around until they gave me a job to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3230">TS</a>]

00:53:54   do [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3234">TS</a>]

00:53:55   running to get coffee and then pretty [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3235">TS</a>]

00:53:57   soon I was assisting the cameraperson [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3237">TS</a>]

00:53:59   and then i was when i was running one of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3239">TS</a>]

00:54:02   the cameras and you know now I live in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3242">TS</a>]

00:54:04   Hollywood and i'm 21 and I haven't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3244">TS</a>]

00:54:07   unbelievable i get that person it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3247">TS</a>]

00:54:09   unbelievable but of course there are so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3249">TS</a>]

00:54:12   many examples of people that at 16 17 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3252">TS</a>]

00:54:15   years old they're like I want to be a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3255">TS</a>]

00:54:17   rock star i want to be in hollywood or I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3257">TS</a>]

00:54:19   want to be a writer i wanted i want to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3259">TS</a>]

00:54:21   be in politics or or whatever and they [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3261">TS</a>]

00:54:26   had no doubt about that choice they just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3266">TS</a>]

00:54:31   went and did it and and then at a young [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3271">TS</a>]

00:54:36   age they're very accomplished and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3276">TS</a>]

00:54:37   they're on a path then they don't seem [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3277">TS</a>]

00:54:40   and they don't they're not sitting there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3280">TS</a>]

00:54:42   saying but what if i should have been [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3282">TS</a>]

00:54:44   what if i should have gone to medical [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3284">TS</a>]

00:54:45   school what if i should have been an [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3285">TS</a>]

00:54:47   astronaut you know they're like I'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3287">TS</a>]

00:54:49   doing what I love to do and this is what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3289">TS</a>]

00:54:50   i wanted to do in here I go off i go at [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3290">TS</a>]

00:54:53   and I i can't help but contrast myself [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3293">TS</a>]

00:54:56   against them when I was that age 21 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3296">TS</a>]

00:54:59   years old I was you know sitting [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3299">TS</a>]

00:55:03   somewhere it on a barstool imagining [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3303">TS</a>]

00:55:07   that I could and should be doing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3307">TS</a>]

00:55:11   everything and didn't know where to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3311">TS</a>]

00:55:16   begin doing everything wasn't exactly [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3316">TS</a>]

00:55:18   sure like how you got a degree in doing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3318">TS</a>]

00:55:21   everything and was I mean not just not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3321">TS</a>]

00:55:28   just was inconceivable that I would go [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3328">TS</a>]

00:55:30   down to a film shoot and stand around [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3330">TS</a>]

00:55:33   saying hey can I can I lend a hand until [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3333">TS</a>]

00:55:37   until somebody was like yeah hey kid [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3337">TS</a>]

00:55:39   come over here and hold this you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3339">TS</a>]

00:55:41   not only was it inconceivable that that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3341">TS</a>]

00:55:43   would happen but but to my mind at the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3343">TS</a>]

00:55:49   time like what a waste [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3349">TS</a>]

00:55:51   they're just running coffee for some guy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3351">TS</a>]

00:55:52   like and a half second of proposed you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3352">TS</a>]

00:55:56   might go wait a minute i'm supposed to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3356">TS</a>]

00:55:57   be a senator and I run night in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3357">TS</a>]

00:55:59   senator line right so those you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3359">TS</a>]

00:56:04   those people are are certainly a model [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3364">TS</a>]

00:56:08   but if i compare myself to somebody like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3368">TS</a>]

00:56:11   that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3371">TS</a>]

00:56:12   I cannot I cannot win you know I cannot [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3372">TS</a>]

00:56:15   think like that is normal and i am and i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3375">TS</a>]

00:56:19   need to fix what's broken about me to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3379">TS</a>]

00:56:21   get closer to that because I'm because I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3381">TS</a>]

00:56:25   don't resemble it in the least bit and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3385">TS</a>]

00:56:27   admire those kids i love to sit in and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3387">TS</a>]

00:56:30   talk to them in conversation but i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3390">TS</a>]

00:56:32   cannot buy it but comparing my own [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3392">TS</a>]

00:56:35   attributes to theirs would be like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3395">TS</a>]

00:56:37   comparing my looks to there's there's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3397">TS</a>]

00:56:41   just nothing I can do to be to be that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3401">TS</a>]

00:56:47   successful really to be that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3407">TS</a>]

00:56:49   single-minded and and to be that sort of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3409">TS</a>]

00:56:52   up on a course and happy with the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3412">TS</a>]

00:56:56   results [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3416">TS</a>]

00:56:56   I don't know I i don't know why i do not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3416">TS</a>]

00:57:01   know it if you assume that there's a a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3421">TS</a>]

00:57:04   bell curve of humanity and we are we are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3424">TS</a>]

00:57:07   apportioned different traits because [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3427">TS</a>]

00:57:09   there is a clockmaker who has put this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3429">TS</a>]

00:57:13   universe into motion in order to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3433">TS</a>]

00:57:18   accomplish some inscrutable goal I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3438">TS</a>]

00:57:21   cannot imagine why you would load up a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3441">TS</a>]

00:57:25   human person with my attributes and set [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3445">TS</a>]

00:57:28   them loose on this world i do not know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3448">TS</a>]

00:57:30   what I am contributing or why you would [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3450">TS</a>]

00:57:35   what why you would even put so many sort [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3455">TS</a>]

00:57:39   of self-contradictory qualities in one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3459">TS</a>]

00:57:44   organism and basically set it loose upon [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3464">TS</a>]

00:57:48   itself like here you go here you go [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3468">TS</a>]

00:57:51   animal go get them at the animal [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3471">TS</a>]

00:57:54   immediately starts punching itself and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3474">TS</a>]

00:57:57   saying you don't even know how to punch [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3477">TS</a>]

00:57:59   come out a punch-up like why would you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3479">TS</a>]

00:58:03   do that to a thing right but there you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3483">TS</a>]

00:58:06   have it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3486">TS</a>]

00:58:06   it's what it's one of B it's one of the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3486">TS</a>]

00:58:09   things i would point to to say perhaps [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3489">TS</a>]

00:58:11   intelligent design is not actually help [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3491">TS</a>]

00:58:13   of the universe is working the kind of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3493">TS</a>]

00:58:15   design but I mean to have to have that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3495">TS</a>]

00:58:17   constantly even when it's not that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3497">TS</a>]

00:58:18   traumatic for a fact did the the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3498">TS</a>]

00:58:21   constant leveling of that message in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3501">TS</a>]

00:58:23   your head can't help but become a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3503">TS</a>]

00:58:25   distraction from taking a step in any [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3505">TS</a>]

00:58:28   direction you yeah self-doubt must must [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3508">TS</a>]

00:58:31   you know something i must always be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3511">TS</a>]

00:58:33   looming and it raises the question take [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3513">TS</a>]

00:58:35   a step in any direction for why [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3515">TS</a>]

00:58:37   yeah you know and that's the that's the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3517">TS</a>]

00:58:39   that's that's the insidious part i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3519">TS</a>]

00:58:45   admire people who build houses for poor [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3525">TS</a>]

00:58:52   people you know like Habitat for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3532">TS</a>]

00:58:53   Humanity I admire doctors without [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3533">TS</a>]

00:58:56   borders but i do not feel the pull to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3536">TS</a>]

00:59:02   help people in that way and there's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3542">TS</a>]

00:59:06   another thing that's like you think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3546">TS</a>]

00:59:08   about what you're saying like with the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3548">TS</a>]

00:59:09   kid doing that in that gig in something [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3549">TS</a>]

00:59:12   i mentioned last week about if you want [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3552">TS</a>]

00:59:16   to i do the right thing rather trying to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3556">TS</a>]

00:59:18   tell them do the right thing work demand [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3558">TS</a>]

00:59:20   and it's useful to create the conditions [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3560">TS</a>]

00:59:23   for the right thing happening and that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3563">TS</a>]

00:59:25   is something if you said that to me if [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3565">TS</a>]

00:59:27   I'd said that to me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3567">TS</a>]

00:59:29   30 years ago I don't think i would have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3569">TS</a>]

00:59:31   I would I would have understood you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3571">TS</a>]

00:59:33   grammatically like what it meant but I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3573">TS</a>]

00:59:35   wouldn't really gotten what that meant [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3575">TS</a>]

00:59:36   and that's the difference between that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3576">TS</a>]

00:59:39   kid who's not 21 and doing that for a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3579">TS</a>]

00:59:41   living vs all any range of people who [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3581">TS</a>]

00:59:44   are going [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3584">TS</a>]

00:59:45   how [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3585">TS</a>]

00:59:45   doc I end up there yeah and and at the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3585">TS</a>]

00:59:48   risk of sounding really subtle I think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3588">TS</a>]

00:59:50   this is actually super duper important [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3590">TS</a>]

00:59:51   because I mean we all know and this does [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3591">TS</a>]

00:59:54   shading some stuff I said in the past [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3594">TS</a>]

00:59:55   about acting like you're an artist and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3595">TS</a>]

00:59:57   buying a beret and you know doing all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3597">TS</a>]

00:59:59   the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3599">TS</a>]

00:59:59   the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3599">TS</a>]

01:00:00   affectations that you seeing other [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3600">TS</a>]

01:00:01   people do to essentially traced the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3601">TS</a>]

01:00:04   shadows of someone else and imagine that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3604">TS</a>]

01:00:07   that's even close to that what that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3607">TS</a>]

01:00:09   human being is who they are but that's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3609">TS</a>]

01:00:12   what's that's a start and now that i'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3612">TS</a>]

01:00:13   at the age that I am and know what I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3613">TS</a>]

01:00:15   know that's what blows me away about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3615">TS</a>]

01:00:16   that guy is anybody could go hey I want [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3616">TS</a>]

01:00:18   to make I won't have videos be on MTV [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3618">TS</a>]

01:00:20   right back in my day or like I i have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3620">TS</a>]

01:00:23   this gut sense that i would be a great [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3623">TS</a>]

01:00:25   prog rock drummer and haha on the most [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3625">TS</a>]

01:00:28   fundamental level you go with you ever [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3628">TS</a>]

01:00:30   played drums and you're like no no but i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3630">TS</a>]

01:00:32   know i'd be really good at it and it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3632">TS</a>]

01:00:34   like well the first test would be to go [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3634">TS</a>]

01:00:36   out and see whether you like playing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3636">TS</a>]

01:00:37   drums [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3637">TS</a>]

01:00:38   do you have access to drums is that what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3638">TS</a>]

01:00:39   you would want to do and you certainly [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3639">TS</a>]

01:00:41   can see where I'm going with this but if [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3641">TS</a>]

01:00:42   we're going a little bit okay well what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3642">TS</a>]

01:00:45   if actually you don't really like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3645">TS</a>]

01:00:47   playing drums [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3647">TS</a>]

01:00:48   what if you try playing drums for a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3648">TS</a>]

01:00:50   while and you realize you don't like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3650">TS</a>]

01:00:51   being in a band [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3651">TS</a>]

01:00:53   what if you don't like being around [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3653">TS</a>]

01:00:54   people in the music industry but these [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3654">TS</a>]

01:00:56   are all the kinds of things that will [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3656">TS</a>]

01:00:58   never occur to you if you don't try to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3658">TS</a>]

01:00:59   play drums yeah and get it but there's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3659">TS</a>]

01:01:02   another kind of the if there's anything [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3662">TS</a>]

01:01:04   that i am I in my head I wish I could [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3664">TS</a>]

01:01:05   change about myself from the past that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3665">TS</a>]

01:01:07   it's not notice it's too late now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3667">TS</a>]

01:01:08   because it is still useful to me is that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3668">TS</a>]

01:01:10   idea of like rather than trying to see a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3670">TS</a>]

01:01:13   result of something and emulate that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3673">TS</a>]

01:01:15   really admire the people who instantly [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3675">TS</a>]

01:01:17   understand a process over the product [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3677">TS</a>]

01:01:19   and in the case of that guy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3679">TS</a>]

01:01:21   there's something about in that case [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3681">TS</a>]

01:01:23   maybe just got lucky but he understood [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3683">TS</a>]

01:01:24   there was a big difference between [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3684">TS</a>]

01:01:26   arguing with his friends starbucks about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3686">TS</a>]

01:01:27   who'd be a better director versus just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3687">TS</a>]

01:01:29   showing up [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3689">TS</a>]

01:01:30   yeah it's starting to do something now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3690">TS</a>]

01:01:32   maybe you get lucky maybe some other [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3692">TS</a>]

01:01:33   things he tried it didn't work out but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3693">TS</a>]

01:01:35   that's that's like another that's like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3695">TS</a>]

01:01:37   being able to fly as far as I'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3697">TS</a>]

01:01:38   concerned to be 21 years old or even [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3698">TS</a>]

01:01:40   that is 19 years old and show up [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3700">TS</a>]

01:01:42   somewhere and not seem like a total [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3702">TS</a>]

01:01:44   thing is you can be able to figure out [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3704">TS</a>]

01:01:46   what this job needs well on this and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3706">TS</a>]

01:01:48   think you can I got myself to it a big [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3708">TS</a>]

01:01:51   part of it is he was able to show up at [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3711">TS</a>]

01:01:53   that at that video shoot at age 16 17 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3713">TS</a>]

01:01:57   and not seem like a total dingus who and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3717">TS</a>]

01:01:59   that is the thing perhaps that is a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3719">TS</a>]

01:02:01   talent perhaps I lacked whereas i would [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3721">TS</a>]

01:02:03   go in wearing choppers carrying a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3723">TS</a>]

01:02:05   folding chair without riding crop me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3725">TS</a>]

01:02:07   shave my head and happy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3727">TS</a>]

01:02:08   one of the girls on the back door where [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3728">TS</a>]

01:02:12   do i set this chair because I got to say [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3732">TS</a>]

01:02:15   all along the way to change the topic [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3735">TS</a>]

01:02:16   but like all along the way the things [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3736">TS</a>]

01:02:18   I've tried to nominally succeed at that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3738">TS</a>]

01:02:20   I didn't even fucking understand you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3740">TS</a>]

01:02:22   know to begin with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3742">TS</a>]

01:02:23   I've always been put off by how this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3743">TS</a>]

01:02:26   wasn't how I thought it was going to be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3746">TS</a>]

01:02:27   so yeah I was honestly it was organized [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3747">TS</a>]

01:02:31   music things because I was never a good [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3751">TS</a>]

01:02:32   team player [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3752">TS</a>]

01:02:33   it helps to be a good team player before [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3753">TS</a>]

01:02:34   you do anything on a team or it helps to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3754">TS</a>]

01:02:37   be open to the fact that you'll have to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3757">TS</a>]

01:02:38   be part of that team for example so you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3758">TS</a>]

01:02:40   know I I be on the team [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3760">TS</a>]

01:02:43   yeah yeah and excited to set aside [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3763">TS</a>]

01:02:44   whatever your notion of how this should [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3764">TS</a>]

01:02:46   go is if you're not constantly raising [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3766">TS</a>]

01:02:48   your hand sanctioned we be seeing Roger [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3768">TS</a>]

01:02:49   welcome now you know where the whatever [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3769">TS</a>]

01:02:52   your idea is from things you've seen in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3772">TS</a>]

01:02:53   movies and play over in your head again [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3773">TS</a>]

01:02:55   and again when i look at the the kids [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3775">TS</a>]

01:02:58   that I started out with in high school [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3778">TS</a>]

01:03:01   and college the vast majority of them [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3781">TS</a>]

01:03:04   knew what they wanted to I think we [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3784">TS</a>]

01:03:09   would have said knew what they wanted to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3789">TS</a>]

01:03:10   be rather than knew what they wanted to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3790">TS</a>]

01:03:12   do you know they knew what they wanted [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3792">TS</a>]

01:03:14   to be at 15 years old a whole big group [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3794">TS</a>]

01:03:19   of my friends in high school decided [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3799">TS</a>]

01:03:22   they were going to medical school and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3802">TS</a>]

01:03:23   think it's largely because there was one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3803">TS</a>]

01:03:26   good biology teacher at East High School [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3806">TS</a>]

01:03:28   in Anchorage that I did not have I did [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3808">TS</a>]

01:03:31   not take his class but he was an [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3811">TS</a>]

01:03:33   inspiring teacher such that a freshman [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3813">TS</a>]

01:03:38   year in high school [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3818">TS</a>]

01:03:39   I'm sure there were a couple of these [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3819">TS</a>]

01:03:40   people who are like I think I want to be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3820">TS</a>]

01:03:42   a doctor but by junior year a whole lot [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3822">TS</a>]

01:03:46   of kids had decided to go to medical [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3826">TS</a>]

01:03:47   school and when I think about those kids [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3827">TS</a>]

01:03:50   now they are my age you know a lot of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3830">TS</a>]

01:03:54   them now 45 years old and they are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3834">TS</a>]

01:03:56   doctors have been doctored basically [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3836">TS</a>]

01:04:00   since they were 15 years old you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3840">TS</a>]

01:04:02   they've been on that path i remember i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3842">TS</a>]

01:04:06   was living in a fraternity house at [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3846">TS</a>]

01:04:08   Cornell for a summer and one of the guys [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3848">TS</a>]

01:04:12   who was living in the fraternity with me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3852">TS</a>]

01:04:13   over the summer was I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3853">TS</a>]

01:04:17   he was going to join the Navy to be a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3857">TS</a>]

01:04:20   fighter pilot and at the time i guess i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3860">TS</a>]

01:04:25   was 20 21 something like that he was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3865">TS</a>]

01:04:28   that age and he was graduating that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3868">TS</a>]

01:04:31   summer from cornell and on his way to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3871">TS</a>]

01:04:33   flight training school for the Navy had [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3873">TS</a>]

01:04:38   and he enlisted in the navy already well [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3878">TS</a>]

01:04:40   when I think about that guy which I do [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3880">TS</a>]

01:04:42   periodically if he succeeded in getting [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3882">TS</a>]

01:04:47   his wings he was a fighter pilot in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3887">TS</a>]

01:04:52   Navy for 20 he's now entering his 23rd [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3892">TS</a>]

01:04:58   year as a Navy pilot and he he knew to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3898">TS</a>]

01:05:04   make that decision or he made that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3904">TS</a>]

01:05:06   decision and stuck with it I'm you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3906">TS</a>]

01:05:08   I i extrapolate but i assume that this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3908">TS</a>]

01:05:10   guy is now a full captain in the Navy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3910">TS</a>]

01:05:15   and retired from flying jets and either [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3915">TS</a>]

01:05:19   retired from the navy or is like running [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3919">TS</a>]

01:05:21   a battle group somewhere [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3921">TS</a>]

01:05:24   and I contrast those life choices those [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3924">TS</a>]

01:05:28   life marks against my own which has [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3928">TS</a>]

01:05:33   mostly consisted of filling up paper [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3933">TS</a>]

01:05:36   bags with stuff from thrift stores and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3936">TS</a>]

01:05:40   then arranging it is also unglamorous [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3940">TS</a>]

01:05:42   are ending in piles thunderclaps [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3942">TS</a>]

01:05:45   periodically you know losing the thread [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3945">TS</a>]

01:05:48   of what which pile of which pile of hats [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3948">TS</a>]

01:05:52   belongs at what bag and then it's 25 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3952">TS</a>]

01:05:55   years later and you don't like cold and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3955">TS</a>]

01:06:01   i'm thinking more like gold what and i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3961">TS</a>]

01:06:05   go i do have an awful lot of cool hats [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3965">TS</a>]

01:06:07   you know that is something nobody can [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3967">TS</a>]

01:06:10   take away from me but i'm not even going [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3970">TS</a>]

01:06:13   to try to buck you up because i know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3973">TS</a>]

01:06:14   there's no point to it but so many [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3974">TS</a>]

01:06:16   people would love to be you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3976">TS</a>]

01:06:18   isn't that sad we have no doubt that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3978">TS</a>]

01:06:21   am [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3981">TS</a>]

01:06:21   yeah real 1i yeah when I take off all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3981">TS</a>]

01:06:23   the all the course it's just I don't I i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3983">TS</a>]

01:06:30   just looked like buka salt [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3990">TS</a>]

01:06:33   I want my own little bit now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3993">TS</a>]

01:06:38   oh my god oh yeah I i do not like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/3998">TS</a>]

01:06:45   comparing myself to other people [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4005">TS</a>]

01:06:47   it's terrible it's terrible and I just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4007">TS</a>]

01:06:49   don't find it useful I mean I still get [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4009">TS</a>]

01:06:51   they still kind of do it maybe I'm just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4011">TS</a>]

01:06:52   scared to do it but it's just so you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4012">TS</a>]

01:06:56   feel so unproductive to me and does it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4016">TS</a>]

01:06:58   doesn't is not even makes me feel bad or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4018">TS</a>]

01:07:00   good it just you know it's just it's I i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4020">TS</a>]

01:07:06   don't know i don't know what i would do [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4026">TS</a>]

01:07:07   based on that particular like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4027">TS</a>]

01:07:10   identifying the Delta between these two [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4030">TS</a>]

01:07:11   things will help me to what better would [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4031">TS</a>]

01:07:14   you what differently now I know where we [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4034">TS</a>]

01:07:15   have slightly different minds about [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4035">TS</a>]

01:07:16   these things probably but like for me I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4036">TS</a>]

01:07:18   just like why would I dalene only put it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4038">TS</a>]

01:07:20   this way when i watch other people doing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4040">TS</a>]

01:07:22   that like all the time i just it just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4042">TS</a>]

01:07:24   makes me like almost seed wondering what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4044">TS</a>]

01:07:27   are you doing like tell me how this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4047">TS</a>]

01:07:29   turns out great [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4049">TS</a>]

01:07:30   how would you spend less time comparing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4050">TS</a>]

01:07:31   yourself to other people unlike more [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4051">TS</a>]

01:07:33   time just doing it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4053">TS</a>]

01:07:34   yeah it's very unattractive it there's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4054">TS</a>]

01:07:36   nothing about you I don't feel like you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4056">TS</a>]

01:07:38   really do that you really do that i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4058">TS</a>]

01:07:40   don't i don't get it isn't it is more it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4060">TS</a>]

01:07:43   is more on an emblem of the darkness [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4063">TS</a>]

01:07:46   that settles on me who um you know when [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4066">TS</a>]

01:07:49   i first read the book no country for old [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4069">TS</a>]

01:07:51   men i was in some ways furious because i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4071">TS</a>]

01:07:58   have been daydreaming about stumbling on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4078">TS</a>]

01:08:01   a drug deal gone wrong and and sifted [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4081">TS</a>]

01:08:07   you know like walking through what has [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4087">TS</a>]

01:08:09   clearly been a a a showdown shootout and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4089">TS</a>]

01:08:13   finding like a truck full of drugs and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4093">TS</a>]

01:08:16   money that was at the center of this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4096">TS</a>]

01:08:18   pitched battle and then like kick [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4098">TS</a>]

01:08:24   pushing the body that is in the driver's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4104">TS</a>]

01:08:27   seat off into the dirt in your mind [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4107">TS</a>]

01:08:29   you've already done this a hundred times [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4109">TS</a>]

01:08:30   I had I had I had done it a hundred [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4110">TS</a>]

01:08:32   times before i read this book and was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4112">TS</a>]

01:08:34   like someone stole my plot but but i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4114">TS</a>]

01:08:40   have apply your plot for easy money [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4120">TS</a>]

01:08:43   falling in love with soul my easy-money [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4123">TS</a>]

01:08:46   plot like i'm kinda I'm not a guy that's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4126">TS</a>]

01:08:50   gonna do direct marketing but I am [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4130">TS</a>]

01:08:52   definitely a guy that if he sees brake [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4132">TS</a>]

01:08:55   lights up up a dark road [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4135">TS</a>]

01:08:57   uh-huh and hears gunshots he is headed [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4137">TS</a>]

01:09:00   that way i'm headed that way through the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4140">TS</a>]

01:09:03   woods notnot away because this is a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4143">TS</a>]

01:09:05   scenario that has always do you know it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4145">TS</a>]

01:09:08   starts you know you know that the signal [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4148">TS</a>]

01:09:10   that something we just went down [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4150">TS</a>]

01:09:11   yeah somebody tried to somebody tried to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4151">TS</a>]

01:09:13   like sneak around the back and and get [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4153">TS</a>]

01:09:15   the drop on them but they actually had [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4155">TS</a>]

01:09:17   the money there was like a they had the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4157">TS</a>]

01:09:19   money it wasn't going to be a ripoff but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4159">TS</a>]

01:09:21   then uh overzealous you know young [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4161">TS</a>]

01:09:24   lieutenant decided he was going to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4164">TS</a>]

01:09:26   circle around behind and then somebody [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4166">TS</a>]

01:09:28   you know shoots him and then he shoots [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4168">TS</a>]

01:09:31   back and then all by schutz everybody [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4171">TS</a>]

01:09:33   and then everybody's dead and here's the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4173">TS</a>]

01:09:36   and the cars are all still idling is it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4176">TS</a>]

01:09:38   probably in a gym bag the money full of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4178">TS</a>]

01:09:40   money and drugs well you know depending [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4180">TS</a>]

01:09:42   on how what how far I want to go with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4182">TS</a>]

01:09:44   this fantasy it's a suburban full of gym [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4184">TS</a>]

01:09:46   bags full of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4186">TS</a>]

01:09:47   because they're buying their buying the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4187">TS</a>]

01:09:49   like a metric ton of squeak and history [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4189">TS</a>]

01:09:53   is week is like a slight minting [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4193">TS</a>]

01:09:55   Krugerrands huh [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4195">TS</a>]

01:09:57   but anyway it caused me after no country [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4197">TS</a>]

01:10:02   for old men came out it caused me to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4202">TS</a>]

01:10:03   turn that light back on myself and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4203">TS</a>]

01:10:05   reflect on why i have spent so many [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4205">TS</a>]

01:10:09   hours of my life playing out this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4209">TS</a>]

01:10:12   scenario and what that what that easy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4212">TS</a>]

01:10:17   money [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4217">TS</a>]

01:10:18   I mean I think everybody maybe not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4218">TS</a>]

01:10:20   everybody but i think that carrying [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4220">TS</a>]

01:10:22   around an easy money fantasy is is a big [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4222">TS</a>]

01:10:25   part of of being a human being or being [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4225">TS</a>]

01:10:28   an American and having it happen or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4228">TS</a>]

01:10:31   being finally able to do a specific [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4231">TS</a>]

01:10:33   thing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4233">TS</a>]

01:10:34   well that I could finally buy a carousel [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4234">TS</a>]

01:10:37   yeah i can find out like I'm going to be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4237">TS</a>]

01:10:39   relieved of all of my money tension and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4239">TS</a>]

01:10:43   Happiness will will a light on my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4243">TS</a>]

01:10:46   shoulder like a bluebird of happiness [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4246">TS</a>]

01:10:48   who and as I've as I've played out this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4248">TS</a>]

01:10:53   the scenario like okay now you've got [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4253">TS</a>]

01:10:55   now you have us this untraceable duffel [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4255">TS</a>]

01:10:58   bag full of the pace owns your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4258">TS</a>]

01:11:02   opportunity and what are you gonna do [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4262">TS</a>]

01:11:06   and the reality is everything that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4266">TS</a>]

01:11:08   would choose to do in that moment that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4268">TS</a>]

01:11:11   would be that I have that having run the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4271">TS</a>]

01:11:14   scenario would be something I would [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4274">TS</a>]

01:11:15   actually choose to do is something i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4275">TS</a>]

01:11:17   could just choose to do right now you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4277">TS</a>]

01:11:20   know if I had if I had 10 million [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4280">TS</a>]

01:11:22   dollars what i do i moved to new york [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4282">TS</a>]

01:11:23   will just go move to New York if you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4283">TS</a>]

01:11:25   want to do that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4285">TS</a>]

01:11:26   oh well i moved to new york and i live [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4286">TS</a>]

01:11:28   in a really nice apartment well go move [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4288">TS</a>]

01:11:30   to New York and within a year or two [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4290">TS</a>]

01:11:31   you'll probably have a pretty nice [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4291">TS</a>]

01:11:32   apartment because that's how it goes [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4292">TS</a>]

01:11:33   like the the idea that there are still [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4293">TS</a>]

01:11:38   things in my life I'm waiting to pull [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4298">TS</a>]

01:11:39   the trigger on and the only reason i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4299">TS</a>]

01:11:43   can't do it is that I have not found a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4303">TS</a>]

01:11:44   duffel bag of of drug money at a crime [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4304">TS</a>]

01:11:47   scene is this like it's it's any an [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4307">TS</a>]

01:11:52   incredible three-way mirror on myself [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4312">TS</a>]

01:11:55   because all the other things that I you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4315">TS</a>]

01:11:58   know all the more elaborate [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4318">TS</a>]

01:12:00   choices i would make like i'll move to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4320">TS</a>]

01:12:02   England live in a castle [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4322">TS</a>]

01:12:03   well you would be lonely and cold if you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4323">TS</a>]

01:12:08   did that because you don't have anything [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4328">TS</a>]

01:12:10   you know like you're the friends that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4330">TS</a>]

01:12:12   have an England would come visit my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4332">TS</a>]

01:12:14   castle a couple of times you know that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4334">TS</a>]

01:12:18   i'm not going to move to some little bit [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4338">TS</a>]

01:12:19   like a friend of yours down a bunch of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4339">TS</a>]

01:12:21   money and moved into a castle when you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4341">TS</a>]

01:12:23   be like a quite an asshole [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4343">TS</a>]

01:12:25   yeah i would use a castle asshole second [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4345">TS</a>]

01:12:28   that's your that's what you did you move [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4348">TS</a>]

01:12:29   into a castle that's not gonna let you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4349">TS</a>]

01:12:31   run out and go oh my gosh let me go [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4351">TS</a>]

01:12:33   celebrate his good fortune in his new [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4353">TS</a>]

01:12:35   castle in which he lives alone right [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4355">TS</a>]

01:12:37   and nor would I move to Florida or [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4357">TS</a>]

01:12:40   Southern California good because i have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4360">TS</a>]

01:12:42   been many times to Florida and Southern [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4362">TS</a>]

01:12:44   California and I don't even want to be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4364">TS</a>]

01:12:45   there that long at just passing through [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4365">TS</a>]

01:12:48   this is that quotidian like middle-class [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4368">TS</a>]

01:12:51   bullshit dream of right retirement why [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4371">TS</a>]

01:12:54   not it doesn't have to be with me know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4374">TS</a>]

01:12:55   if you mind your whole life and you can [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4375">TS</a>]

01:12:58   barely breathe [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4378">TS</a>]

01:12:58   god I hope you get to retire soon but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4378">TS</a>]

01:13:00   it's just this whole idea of this that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4380">TS</a>]

01:13:02   the big the big journey being to get to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4382">TS</a>]

01:13:04   this place for you don't have to do [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4384">TS</a>]

01:13:05   anything [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4385">TS</a>]

01:13:06   yeah that's so depressing and what I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4386">TS</a>]

01:13:08   really want to do in life is write a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4388">TS</a>]

01:13:10   book i want to have an article that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4390">TS</a>]

01:13:13   right be in The New Yorker I want to be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4393">TS</a>]

01:13:17   consulted for your expertise as a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4397">TS</a>]

01:13:20   retired uh that's right i want to be on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4400">TS</a>]

01:13:22   the board of directors and several [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4402">TS</a>]

01:13:23   fortune 500 companies so much more that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4403">TS</a>]

01:13:26   is so much more in your grasp then you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4406">TS</a>]

01:13:28   realize what everyone else on the board [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4408">TS</a>]

01:13:30   Quivers and terror as soon as I clear my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4410">TS</a>]

01:13:33   throat and sit forward in my chair like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4413">TS</a>]

01:13:35   all these other guys are like oh shit oh [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4415">TS</a>]

01:13:37   shit don't let it be me this time don't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4417">TS</a>]

01:13:39   let it be me like I want these things [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4419">TS</a>]

01:13:41   and these are not things that that any [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4421">TS</a>]

01:13:44   pile of bags of money are going to are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4424">TS</a>]

01:13:48   going to get for me and if I had if I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4428">TS</a>]

01:13:50   found all this drug money [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4430">TS</a>]

01:13:52   I i would still be dissatisfied I would [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4432">TS</a>]

01:13:55   still want to write a book i would still [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4435">TS</a>]

01:13:58   want to be published in The New Yorker [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4438">TS</a>]

01:13:59   and so that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4439">TS</a>]

01:14:04   and yet this fantasy is is still a great [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4444">TS</a>]

01:14:08   comfort to me you know when i'm sitting [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4448">TS</a>]

01:14:10   staring at a spot on the wall [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4450">TS</a>]

01:14:12   I no longer am commanding a space battle [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4452">TS</a>]

01:14:15   group like I did for so many years in my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4455">TS</a>]

01:14:18   childhood because i've i've decided that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4458">TS</a>]

01:14:20   that is an unrealistic goal [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4460">TS</a>]

01:14:22   hmm to be to be a Admiral even with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4462">TS</a>]

01:14:26   their the pace of technology is now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4466">TS</a>]

01:14:27   increasing the lack of pace of lack of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4467">TS</a>]

01:14:29   technology what we should be we're not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4469">TS</a>]

01:14:32   where we should be and stuff let's be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4472">TS</a>]

01:14:33   honest if right now I was watching sea [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4473">TS</a>]

01:14:36   beans glitter off the shoulder of Orion [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4476">TS</a>]

01:14:38   ravu and was but the odds space battle [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4478">TS</a>]

01:14:43   ships on fire outside the 10 Hauser [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4483">TS</a>]

01:14:44   game-high he dies right at three says [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4484">TS</a>]

01:14:48   that i would i would have a little bit [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4488">TS</a>]

01:14:51   more hope for that possibility but what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4491">TS</a>]

01:14:53   it seems like right now is that if I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4493">TS</a>]

01:14:55   really pursued that I would just be one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4495">TS</a>]

01:14:56   of those kids playing playing a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4496">TS</a>]

01:14:58   multiplayer video games computer and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4498">TS</a>]

01:15:00   convincing myself that I was especially [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4500">TS</a>]

01:15:02   got better than your operating at a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4502">TS</a>]

01:15:04   higher level so but but now you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4504">TS</a>]

01:15:08   what I'm what I'm laying in repose and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4508">TS</a>]

01:15:10   staring at a spot on the wall [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4510">TS</a>]

01:15:12   I confess more often than not i'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4512">TS</a>]

01:15:16   playing out some scenario great truck [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4516">TS</a>]

01:15:19   full of money goes off a cliff and i'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4519">TS</a>]

01:15:20   the only one to see it happen and that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4520">TS</a>]

01:15:22   is embarrassing even personally [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4522">TS</a>]

01:15:26   embarrassing not even about me I never [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4526">TS</a>]

01:15:27   admitted it to anybody until now but i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4527">TS</a>]

01:15:29   was already embarrassed by it i was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4529">TS</a>]

01:15:31   pretty embarrassed just because the 13 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4531">TS</a>]

01:15:34   that looks at the other thing it's like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4534">TS</a>]

01:15:35   it seriously it's pretty mundane it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4535">TS</a>]

01:15:38   like having your ultimate sexual fantasy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4538">TS</a>]

01:15:40   be to kiss boobs [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4540">TS</a>]

01:15:41   it is exactly back like no no I want to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4541">TS</a>]

01:15:44   know like what is the most outlandish [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4544">TS</a>]

01:15:45   thing even hundred like kissing purpose [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4545">TS</a>]

01:15:48   just boobs because I think I've got a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4548">TS</a>]

01:15:50   lot a million dollars in a bag is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4550">TS</a>]

01:15:54   actually learn that small potatoes you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4554">TS</a>]

01:15:56   had not because I'm not grasp right a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4556">TS</a>]

01:15:58   million dollars in a bag if I was like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4558">TS</a>]

01:16:00   if I if I said on the podcast today you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4560">TS</a>]

01:16:02   know what I want a million dollars in a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4562">TS</a>]

01:16:03   bag [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4563">TS</a>]

01:16:04   yeah how long do you think it would take [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4564">TS</a>]

01:16:06   me to get a million dollars in a bag [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4566">TS</a>]

01:16:08   like if you tried or people just like I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4568">TS</a>]

01:16:10   was like single-mindedly I'm going to do [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4570">TS</a>]

01:16:13   whatever tasting months 18 months that's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4573">TS</a>]

01:16:15   right that's about what i think and if [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4575">TS</a>]

01:16:17   you don't think that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4577">TS</a>]

01:16:18   true you haven't really thought it out a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4578">TS</a>]

01:16:19   lot of you it is money money is and it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4579">TS</a>]

01:16:23   not that it's easy to get money it's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4583">TS</a>]

01:16:24   just a very few of us are prepared for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4584">TS</a>]

01:16:26   what else comes along with getting money [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4586">TS</a>]

01:16:28   and what you give up to get money which [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4588">TS</a>]

01:16:30   sounds really cliché because you don't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4590">TS</a>]

01:16:31   have the money but once you get the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4591">TS</a>]

01:16:32   money you realize that it's not simply [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4592">TS</a>]

01:16:34   just a rich person problem it's that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4594">TS</a>]

01:16:36   there are there are like everything is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4596">TS</a>]

01:16:38   fucking complicated it's just what are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4598">TS</a>]

01:16:40   you going to give up to do and i'm not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4600">TS</a>]

01:16:41   even i'm not even doing the Kobayashi [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4601">TS</a>]

01:16:43   Maru here I'm not even saying that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4603">TS</a>]

01:16:44   you've got to golike cheat to do it I'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4604">TS</a>]

01:16:46   not even saying you've got to go cause [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4606">TS</a>]

01:16:48   the truck to fall off [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4608">TS</a>]

01:16:49   I think ultimately I would probably have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4609">TS</a>]

01:16:51   I would actually pull the Kaiser so say [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4611">TS</a>]

01:16:53   but yes I would you know I have seen the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4613">TS</a>]

01:16:55   end of Tommy Hinds I this is one of the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4615">TS</a>]

01:16:58   many many many reasons that I find I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4618">TS</a>]

01:17:01   really really am trying to use this word [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4621">TS</a>]

01:17:04   less because it's not a good word [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4624">TS</a>]

01:17:06   I hate lotteries I hate lottery tickets [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4626">TS</a>]

01:17:08   i hate scratch-off ticket I certainly [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4628">TS</a>]

01:17:10   hit the lines they create the word that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4630">TS</a>]

01:17:12   you don't want to use hate I trying to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4632">TS</a>]

01:17:14   use the word hate yeah right Brad to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4634">TS</a>]

01:17:16   despise is a cop out that I use a lot [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4636">TS</a>]

01:17:18   but I'm trying to avoid saying that for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4638">TS</a>]

01:17:19   everything because i have I don't hate [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4639">TS</a>]

01:17:21   it i do you poop on it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4641">TS</a>]

01:17:23   I poop on my poop on lottery tickets [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4643">TS</a>]

01:17:25   because for the for the obvious reasons [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4645">TS</a>]

01:17:27   that meaning any liberal would have is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4647">TS</a>]

01:17:29   that its work for attacks on our bad [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4649">TS</a>]

01:17:31   about it but it's also it's it makes it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4651">TS</a>]

01:17:34   hard for me to get my tequila and my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4654">TS</a>]

01:17:36   daughter's milk and we both need those [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4656">TS</a>]

01:17:39   right dude we do get your tequila and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4659">TS</a>]

01:17:41   your daughter's milk at the same place [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4661">TS</a>]

01:17:42   it's not going to Kayla and it's not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4662">TS</a>]

01:17:44   super fresh milk up i'm not gonna lie to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4664">TS</a>]

01:17:46   you but this concept that if you if you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4666">TS</a>]

01:17:49   want it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4669">TS</a>]

01:17:50   yeah well it's the one not if there's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4670">TS</a>]

01:17:52   the one the only one that only want to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4672">TS</a>]

01:17:53   finish here and this is the problem with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4673">TS</a>]

01:17:55   the lottery is in some way the same [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4675">TS</a>]

01:17:56   problem with the John the John truck [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4676">TS</a>]

01:17:58   full of drug money fantasy which is I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4678">TS</a>]

01:18:00   think those people who go in there and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4680">TS</a>]

01:18:02   watched I waited in line behind a guy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4682">TS</a>]

01:18:04   the other day who paid for lottery [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4684">TS</a>]

01:18:07   tickets with a hundred-dollar bill he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4687">TS</a>]

01:18:09   bought and got it look at dollar he [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4689">TS</a>]

01:18:10   bought a hundred dollars worth of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4690">TS</a>]

01:18:12   lottery tickets the guy in front of me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4692">TS</a>]

01:18:13   and I don't know enough about the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4693">TS</a>]

01:18:15   lottery system to know whether that's a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4695">TS</a>]

01:18:17   great better not but I don't think you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4697">TS</a>]

01:18:21   need to win a lot to keep doing the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4701">TS</a>]

01:18:22   lottery [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4702">TS</a>]

01:18:23   I think you like any gambling you need [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4703">TS</a>]

01:18:25   to just win just enough to show that the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4705">TS</a>]

01:18:27   systems not totally wrecked and to get [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4707">TS</a>]

01:18:29   that little Pinot dopamine bird [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4709">TS</a>]

01:18:31   just but it's the the lottery at the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4711">TS</a>]

01:18:34   most basic level this is a very subtle [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4714">TS</a>]

01:18:36   Oscar Wilde soul of man under socialism [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4716">TS</a>]

01:18:39   kind of point probably but it's the in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4719">TS</a>]

01:18:41   Smalling of the human soul that the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4721">TS</a>]

01:18:43   lottery causes because you're getting [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4723">TS</a>]

01:18:45   into such a stupid habit that every time [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4725">TS</a>]

01:18:49   you do it you make that habit stronger [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4729">TS</a>]

01:18:50   you go when you do it over and over and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4730">TS</a>]

01:18:53   have you done the fucking most basic [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4733">TS</a>]

01:18:56   monochrome of research to find out [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4736">TS</a>]

01:18:57   whether people who win the lottery are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4737">TS</a>]

01:18:59   happy right well can't even win the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4739">TS</a>]

01:19:02   lottery people who win [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4742">TS</a>]

01:19:03   no I don't mean that you only get a free [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4743">TS</a>]

01:19:05   scratcher you get that with every [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4745">TS</a>]

01:19:07   hundred million dollars you win 300 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4747">TS</a>]

01:19:09   million dollars go out and find out [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4749">TS</a>]

01:19:11   whether those people are happy because [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4751">TS</a>]

01:19:13   you know what they're not fucking James [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4753">TS</a>]

01:19:14   Bond they're not Tony Stark their people [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4754">TS</a>]

01:19:17   who now have new problems [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4757">TS</a>]

01:19:20   yeah and they are new problems they [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4760">TS</a>]

01:19:22   never knew existed because they don't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4762">TS</a>]

01:19:24   have the training to have 300 million [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4764">TS</a>]

01:19:26   dollars they take their country kitchen [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4766">TS</a>]

01:19:28   aesthetic and then everyone have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4768">TS</a>]

01:19:30   document basket now if applied to a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4770">TS</a>]

01:19:33   40,000 square foot home and I dogs in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4773">TS</a>]

01:19:36   baskets everywhere they gonna get a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4776">TS</a>]

01:19:38   42-foot duck itself slightest here's the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4778">TS</a>]

01:19:41   thing that by the world's largest duck [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4781">TS</a>]

01:19:43   and it makes them neatly you know you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4783">TS</a>]

01:19:45   know what now I need the world's largest [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4785">TS</a>]

01:19:47   basket the fucking basket was supposed [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4787">TS</a>]

01:19:48   to be here by ten-thirty [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4788">TS</a>]

01:19:50   it's not here this is the thing that you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4790">TS</a>]

01:19:52   can and a.m and I've run this on my I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4792">TS</a>]

01:19:55   run this in this scenario everyone this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4795">TS</a>]

01:19:57   scenario run this you know this admin on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4797">TS</a>]

01:20:00   my own mind which is let's say you won [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4800">TS</a>]

01:20:03   300 million dollars [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4803">TS</a>]

01:20:05   yeah now what would you do and the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4805">TS</a>]

01:20:07   reality is if you don't immediately [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4807">TS</a>]

01:20:10   I mean first of all you get halfway to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4810">TS</a>]

01:20:11   taxes but if you don't immediately give [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4811">TS</a>]

01:20:14   another habit the the next half away [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4814">TS</a>]

01:20:17   just like the first thing you do your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4817">TS</a>]

01:20:21   you're on the road to madness like a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4821">TS</a>]

01:20:23   hundred and fifty million dollars if you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4823">TS</a>]

01:20:26   have that it can start from zero I mean [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4826">TS</a>]

01:20:30   I i have i have a just going to be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4830">TS</a>]

01:20:32   eating large amounts of the same shitty [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4832">TS</a>]

01:20:35   takeout food you're going to be tipping [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4835">TS</a>]

01:20:36   more for the same fucking pole dancer [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4836">TS</a>]

01:20:38   nothing is going to change yeah i have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4838">TS</a>]

01:20:40   an incredibly active imagination and I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4840">TS</a>]

01:20:42   cannot think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4842">TS</a>]

01:20:43   of what i would spend that money on and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4843">TS</a>]

01:20:46   and you don't have the training that's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4846">TS</a>]

01:20:48   what I'm trying to say is like you don't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4848">TS</a>]

01:20:49   just show up on day one it's like those [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4849">TS</a>]

01:20:51   people who are like oh you know I've [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4851">TS</a>]

01:20:52   never been in a fight but i'm pretty [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4852">TS</a>]

01:20:54   sure I'd be good as a fighter like I've [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4854">TS</a>]

01:20:56   never I've never run more than half a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4856">TS</a>]

01:20:58   block to catch a bus without feeling [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4858">TS</a>]

01:20:59   like I'm having a heart attack but i'm [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4859">TS</a>]

01:21:00   pretty sure i could run a marathon [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4860">TS</a>]

01:21:01   you're doing the existential your whole [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4861">TS</a>]

01:21:04   life is completely i'm not trying to say [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4864">TS</a>]

01:21:06   don't make money but i am saying that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4866">TS</a>]

01:21:07   like just imagining like you give away [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4867">TS</a>]

01:21:10   so much in your life by fantasizing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4870">TS</a>]

01:21:12   about something that would actually not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4872">TS</a>]

01:21:13   be that great for you if I so different [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4873">TS</a>]

01:21:15   i wish i had all the weed in the world [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4875">TS</a>]

01:21:17   if I well why don't we might be so [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4877">TS</a>]

01:21:19   fucking take all the time [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4879">TS</a>]

01:21:21   I what I would do is I would lord it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4881">TS</a>]

01:21:23   over all the fucking stoners is a hard [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4883">TS</a>]

01:21:26   as they can do fancy dances with subs [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4886">TS</a>]

01:21:28   donors want some weed [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4888">TS</a>]

01:21:29   hmm we're gonna get it i'll require a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4889">TS</a>]

01:21:31   fancy dance for that you get it for me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4891">TS</a>]

01:21:32   and you know what I don't want to give [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4892">TS</a>]

01:21:34   you anyways today sometime tomorrow [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4894">TS</a>]

01:21:36   maybe tomorrow [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4896">TS</a>]

01:21:37   given its like with your sister just got [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4897">TS</a>]

01:21:39   one to get the lid is going tiny little [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4899">TS</a>]

01:21:41   bit that this is the thing about we'd [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4901">TS</a>]

01:21:43   like you know maybe they become obsessed [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4903">TS</a>]

01:21:45   and you're like you come back tomorrow [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4905">TS</a>]

01:21:47   I don't have any weed today because I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4907">TS</a>]

01:21:49   get so the 18 hit shit [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4909">TS</a>]

01:21:51   oh yeah anyway that's what you think is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4911">TS</a>]

01:21:53   the first thing I would do a 550 million [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4913">TS</a>]

01:21:55   dollars of course is by both of my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4915">TS</a>]

01:21:57   neighbors houses and tear them down [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4917">TS</a>]

01:21:59   it wasn't there when I would tell the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4919">TS</a>]

01:22:01   parts i think i'd walk over there and be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4921">TS</a>]

01:22:04   like what the difference is how much [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4924">TS</a>]

01:22:06   warning okay here's the thing though [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4926">TS</a>]

01:22:08   there's think outside the box [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4928">TS</a>]

01:22:09   what you really want is to not have [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4929">TS</a>]

01:22:11   those houses there and for them to be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4931">TS</a>]

01:22:12   gone right now the question is how much [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4932">TS</a>]

01:22:15   warning do you have to give that's a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4935">TS</a>]

01:22:16   class how much money you got [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4936">TS</a>]

01:22:17   because if you could literally have it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4937">TS</a>]

01:22:18   level to like while you're away yeah [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4938">TS</a>]

01:22:20   yeah everybody keep everybody off [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4940">TS</a>]

01:22:23   it's like that grade that great old this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4943">TS</a>]

01:22:25   may be completely apocryphal but the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4945">TS</a>]

01:22:27   great craigslist gag where the guy i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4947">TS</a>]

01:22:30   guess it was a it was a millionaires [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4950">TS</a>]

01:22:32   club situation where a bunch of laborers [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4952">TS</a>]

01:22:34   or outside of a a little laborers are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4954">TS</a>]

01:22:37   outside of Labor hall and guys come up [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4957">TS</a>]

01:22:39   in a truck and say you you and you get [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4959">TS</a>]

01:22:41   in the truck and he he's he's like you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4961">TS</a>]

01:22:44   know this guy pulls up in a truck any [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4964">TS</a>]

01:22:46   pics 15 guys off the street and he says [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4966">TS</a>]

01:22:47   I'm gonna pay off you know 40 bucks an [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4967">TS</a>]

01:22:49   hour to do some demo work for me drives [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4969">TS</a>]

01:22:52   over there's a house and he's like the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4972">TS</a>]

01:22:54   only tear this house down yes and these [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4974">TS</a>]

01:22:56   40 guys all go and they tear the house [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4976">TS</a>]

01:22:58   to the ground and then the guy never [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4978">TS</a>]

01:22:59   comes back and it turns out it was his [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4979">TS</a>]

01:23:01   ex-wife's out right right right that's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4981">TS</a>]

01:23:03   probably that's probably snopes but that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4983">TS</a>]

01:23:05   is a good one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4985">TS</a>]

01:23:06   it's a super google video yeah but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4986">TS</a>]

01:23:08   that'd be a great feeling to walk up to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4988">TS</a>]

01:23:09   your next-door neighbor knocked on the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4989">TS</a>]

01:23:10   door and same your house is worth 300 [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4990">TS</a>]

01:23:13   grand [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4993">TS</a>]

01:23:14   I'm gonna throw in an extra 50 if you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4994">TS</a>]

01:23:16   can be outputted after know and this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4996">TS</a>]

01:23:18   will you pick what they like and the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4998">TS</a>]

01:23:19   magic christian right I'm like what can [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/4999">TS</a>]

01:23:21   you get people to do for money but [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5001">TS</a>]

01:23:23   here's the thing the security guard [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5003">TS</a>]

01:23:24   addresses you know despair certainly are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5004">TS</a>]

01:23:27   probably better than just about anybody [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5007">TS</a>]

01:23:29   i think we had this discussion right out [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5009">TS</a>]

01:23:30   yeah I easy he knows whereof he speaks [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5010">TS</a>]

01:23:32   and it's a great thing for people to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5012">TS</a>]

01:23:34   read and but I think it's one thing to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5014">TS</a>]

01:23:38   have freedom and it's another thing to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5018">TS</a>]

01:23:40   have impunity and I think people think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5020">TS</a>]

01:23:42   small and i think if i had a hundred [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5022">TS</a>]

01:23:44   fifty million dollars and finally be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5024">TS</a>]

01:23:46   free [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5026">TS</a>]

01:23:47   I wouldn't have to do these things that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5027">TS</a>]

01:23:49   other people make me do that how I am [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5029">TS</a>]

01:23:51   but impunity would be so fucking awesome [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5031">TS</a>]

01:23:53   it would be so nice if you were truly [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5033">TS</a>]

01:23:56   the kind of damage person who craves [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5036">TS</a>]

01:23:58   that large amount of money without [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5038">TS</a>]

01:23:58   knowing why [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5038">TS</a>]

01:23:59   yeah you know like if you were just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5039">TS</a>]

01:24:01   going to I'm going to build the world's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5041">TS</a>]

01:24:02   biggest bong i would say more power to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5042">TS</a>]

01:24:04   you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5044">TS</a>]

01:24:04   why don't you get us find out exactly [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5044">TS</a>]

01:24:06   what that would cost and then maybe [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5046">TS</a>]

01:24:07   going to a Kickstarter or something [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5047">TS</a>]

01:24:09   right [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5049">TS</a>]

01:24:09   but but if you really did want to become [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5049">TS</a>]

01:24:11   like an evil super genius [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5051">TS</a>]

01:24:13   I that is what i can really admire is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5053">TS</a>]

01:24:15   somebody who says now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5055">TS</a>]

01:24:17   no I i just i don't i started I want [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5057">TS</a>]

01:24:19   this house is gone i just i want to be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5059">TS</a>]

01:24:21   able to do that and not in trouble for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5061">TS</a>]

01:24:22   it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5062">TS</a>]

01:24:23   yeah i mean that as somebody who already [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5063">TS</a>]

01:24:25   feels like you mostly operates without [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5065">TS</a>]

01:24:30   impunity who with impunity getting [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5070">TS</a>]

01:24:34   information you need a permission slip [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5074">TS</a>]

01:24:35   without with impunity without with him [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5075">TS</a>]

01:24:37   without what you work with Kennedy you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5077">TS</a>]

01:24:40   yeah you operate the opportunity i do i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5080">TS</a>]

01:24:43   do have unity [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5083">TS</a>]

01:24:44   no I I feel like for the most part the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5084">TS</a>]

01:24:49   the reshaping influences on me are you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5089">TS</a>]

01:24:54   know the opinions of my close friends [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5094">TS</a>]

01:24:56   but i have it i would take 50 grand like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5096">TS</a>]

01:24:59   you exactly i mean i could tear the hash [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5099">TS</a>]

01:25:02   take a chair down every house in this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5102">TS</a>]

01:25:04   neighborhood except that you know that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5104">TS</a>]

01:25:07   like some of my friends would be like me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5107">TS</a>]

01:25:09   that was again now that John's an [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5109">TS</a>]

01:25:12   asshole before he just seems a little [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5112">TS</a>]

01:25:13   bit like a curiosity right yeah and you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5113">TS</a>]

01:25:17   can't buy your friends love you can't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5117">TS</a>]

01:25:19   buy fear you have to instill fear [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5119">TS</a>]

01:25:21   there's no scratch off ticket for fear [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5121">TS</a>]

01:25:24   if I had some if I had a lot more money [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5124">TS</a>]

01:25:26   i think i would be able I would be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5126">TS</a>]

01:25:28   around I would be buying so you know i [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5128">TS</a>]

01:25:29   like all those other people the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5129">TS</a>]

01:25:31   following builders and the dream makers [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5131">TS</a>]

01:25:33   and the rainbow sniffers you are [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5133">TS</a>]

01:25:34   literally practice pressing this in your [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5134">TS</a>]

01:25:36   head every day you know exactly what you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5136">TS</a>]

01:25:38   do you forget plans I don't say you've [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5138">TS</a>]

01:25:40   probably got plans and tubes right now [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5140">TS</a>]

01:25:41   that you can roll out but my first plan [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5141">TS</a>]

01:25:44   is to build a giant trebuchet and then [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5144">TS</a>]

01:25:47   just Huck like big sort of 50 gallon [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5147">TS</a>]

01:25:51   cans of Quaker Oats just hug him all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5151">TS</a>]

01:25:55   over the city just see what what to see [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5155">TS</a>]

01:25:57   how far they can gallery oh yeah just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5157">TS</a>]

01:25:59   think nobody's going to expect because [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5159">TS</a>]

01:26:00   it's beautiful stuff and despise you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5160">TS</a>]

01:26:03   look up in the sky you see that finger [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5163">TS</a>]

01:26:04   pointer over there so many levels no no [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5164">TS</a>]

01:26:06   it's not even think all they see is a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5166">TS</a>]

01:26:07   55-gallon drum in there to get oil well [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5167">TS</a>]

01:26:10   but but if it looks like because the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5170">TS</a>]

01:26:12   Quaker Oats guy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5172">TS</a>]

01:26:14   oh it's a big picture draw the Quaker on [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5174">TS</a>]

01:26:16   it oh you have you you would make fact [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5176">TS</a>]

01:26:18   similes of the quaker oats [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5178">TS</a>]

01:26:20   uh-huh a little little Janice that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5180">TS</a>]

01:26:23   changes everything except out of a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5183">TS</a>]

01:26:25   50-gallon drum so so this perspective of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5185">TS</a>]

01:26:28   that flying through the sky you have no [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5188">TS</a>]

01:26:29   sense of how big it was to be like what [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5189">TS</a>]

01:26:32   does that flying Quaker Oats thing and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5192">TS</a>]

01:26:33   then as it got closer to show it just [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5193">TS</a>]

01:26:35   keep getting bigger and bigger [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5195">TS</a>]

01:26:36   ik and your mind would be your mind [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5196">TS</a>]

01:26:38   would think is this thing 50 stories [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5198">TS</a>]

01:26:41   tall like you have no sense of how big [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5201">TS</a>]

01:26:43   it was until it landed and and there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5203">TS</a>]

01:26:46   were notes every Pringles can a giant [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5206">TS</a>]

01:26:49   fewer if you had a trebuchet that was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5209">TS</a>]

01:26:51   throwing giant wrinkles cans and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5211">TS</a>]

01:26:53   everybody knows what it looks like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5213">TS</a>]

01:26:55   everybody knows how big it is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5215">TS</a>]

01:26:56   yeah it's got a very familiar form [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5216">TS</a>]

01:26:58   factor its flying through the sky and it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5218">TS</a>]

01:27:00   as it gets closer [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5220">TS</a>]

01:27:02   you have no you have note you have no [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5222">TS</a>]

01:27:04   idea how what's happening how big was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5224">TS</a>]

01:27:07   just that's warming up you just at that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5227">TS</a>]

01:27:08   point you had some trouble she's not you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5228">TS</a>]

01:27:10   have do you have a sense of it you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5230">TS</a>]

01:27:11   shouldn't say I could I think for I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5231">TS</a>]

01:27:13   think for six thousand dollars i could [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5233">TS</a>]

01:27:16   accomplish that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5236">TS</a>]

01:27:17   okay i'm gonna put that down 600,000 I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5237">TS</a>]

01:27:19   think you could get and if i could say [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5239">TS</a>]

01:27:20   you should [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5240">TS</a>]

01:27:21   a trebuchet in a back up trash and that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5241">TS</a>]

01:27:23   and that includes finds they can look [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5243">TS</a>]

01:27:26   even the zoning for a minute 37 for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5246">TS</a>]

01:27:28   trying to shake if I'm if I'm fucking [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5248">TS</a>]

01:27:30   giant Quaker Oats cans all over the city [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5250">TS</a>]

01:27:32   i'm gonna face fuck haha good thing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5252">TS</a>]

01:27:35   because it lets zone for oats [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5255">TS</a>]

01:27:37   yeah that's there's get there going to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5257">TS</a>]

01:27:38   be complaints uh-huh but that's factored [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5258">TS</a>]

01:27:41   into the price how crooked is king [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5261">TS</a>]

01:27:43   county and in seattle KKR you with that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5263">TS</a>]

01:27:45   would there be a way that you can start [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5265">TS</a>]

01:27:46   crossing some palms in advance you do it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5266">TS</a>]

01:27:48   before or after the trebuchet derived it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5268">TS</a>]

01:27:49   isn't a sense of it being crooked it is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5269">TS</a>]

01:27:51   a sense of I am very wired it was you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5271">TS</a>]

01:27:55   showing up at meetings and they say [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5275">TS</a>]

01:27:56   there's that guy i know all the power [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5276">TS</a>]

01:27:58   brokers who and so that you may be those [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5278">TS</a>]

01:28:00   relationships that is there a Laura [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5280">TS</a>]

01:28:02   Roderick bloodline that runs into the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5282">TS</a>]

01:28:04   headquarters of power still uh actually [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5284">TS</a>]

01:28:07   most of the most other most of those [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5287">TS</a>]

01:28:10   guys most of the people that know the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5290">TS</a>]

01:28:11   old school they're all gone [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5291">TS</a>]

01:28:14   there are a couple of guys like the my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5294">TS</a>]

01:28:16   TV is a sort of powerful politician [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5296">TS</a>]

01:28:22   local Paul and memory is the Sun SEO you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5302">TS</a>]

01:28:26   got Sally right Samantha lot of there [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5306">TS</a>]

01:28:31   are a lot of sons of guys who were you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5311">TS</a>]

01:28:33   know level command partners from my dad [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5313">TS</a>]

01:28:36   but but I have made my own relationships [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5316">TS</a>]

01:28:38   with the local the the new younger [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5318">TS</a>]

01:28:41   generation of politicians here and this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5321">TS</a>]

01:28:44   is like the bike mayor that's the bike [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5324">TS</a>]

01:28:46   mayor and it's the it's the rock and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5326">TS</a>]

01:28:48   roll a county executive event you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5328">TS</a>]

01:28:53   the roccat rock'n'roll county executive [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5333">TS</a>]

01:28:57   and now that the guy but the Democratic [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5337">TS</a>]

01:28:59   candidate for governor has has expressed [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5339">TS</a>]

01:29:03   area expressed interest in in liaison [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5343">TS</a>]

01:29:07   with him haha so if i get a guy in the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5347">TS</a>]

01:29:11   governor's chair then I feel like this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5351">TS</a>]

01:29:13   Quaker Oats plan [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5353">TS</a>]

01:29:15   you know you're gonna be fine this is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5355">TS</a>]

01:29:17   there going to be a father [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5357">TS</a>]

01:29:18   this happened nothing I don't think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5358">TS</a>]

01:29:20   about head-butter but there's been a lot [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5360">TS</a>]

01:29:21   of times where you could get some [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5361">TS</a>]

01:29:23   materials or materials you say you could [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5363">TS</a>]

01:29:25   get some stuff that looks like it would [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5365">TS</a>]

01:29:26   be useful for something that wouldn't be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5366">TS</a>]

01:29:28   a trebuchet many Springs you need a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5368">TS</a>]

01:29:31   large cup you need some kind of I don't [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5371">TS</a>]

01:29:33   know the details its adorbs [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5373">TS</a>]

01:29:35   yeah okay but Cena logs you could be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5375">TS</a>]

01:29:37   making again you could be making nature [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5377">TS</a>]

01:29:39   trails a lawyer would be a perfect way [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5379">TS</a>]

01:29:41   to make a nature trail sure I need one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5381">TS</a>]

01:29:43   truck load of logs who so check out of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5383">TS</a>]

01:29:47   logs kinds of logs that logs right [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5387">TS</a>]

01:29:49   absolutely [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5389">TS</a>]

01:29:51   ok in fact I think you could build a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5391">TS</a>]

01:29:52   trebuchet entirely of logs you would [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5392">TS</a>]

01:29:54   mean any other parts i can just fuck [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5394">TS</a>]

01:29:56   this whole thing up for you John I think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5396">TS</a>]

01:29:57   I don't know she did for the rest of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5397">TS</a>]

01:29:59   today [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5399">TS</a>]

01:30:00   it sounds to me like this is something [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5400">TS</a>]

01:30:01   you could make today for about forty [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5401">TS</a>]

01:30:03   dollars [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5403">TS</a>]

01:30:04   well I would be a smart be like a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5404">TS</a>]

01:30:05   preliminary one a smaller prototype [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5405">TS</a>]

01:30:08   yeah maybe don't take out that bodega [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5408">TS</a>]

01:30:09   with some oats that was that was one of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5409">TS</a>]

01:30:11   my early internet punk-rock names [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5411">TS</a>]

01:30:13   trebuchet actually met a girl who knew [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5413">TS</a>]

01:30:18   me as trebuchet your kingly actually [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5418">TS</a>]

01:30:20   that wasn't leading striking out a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5420">TS</a>]

01:30:22   folder when you were there that was my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5422">TS</a>]

01:30:23   friendster profile trailer Shane no one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5423">TS</a>]

01:30:26   ever got it but there was a girl who [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5426">TS</a>]

01:30:28   knew me as trade boucher on friendster [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5428">TS</a>]

01:30:32   who came to a long winter show and she [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5432">TS</a>]

01:30:36   had no sense that I was trading che came [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5436">TS</a>]

01:30:39   to the show randomly and came up to me [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5439">TS</a>]

01:30:42   at the merch table and I recognized her [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5442">TS</a>]

01:30:44   from friendster well as someone that I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5444">TS</a>]

01:30:47   had communicated with many times as [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5447">TS</a>]

01:30:49   trade boucher and she was like that was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5449">TS</a>]

01:30:51   a great show my god amazing wow the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5451">TS</a>]

01:30:54   Buddha can i buy your merchant I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5454">TS</a>]

01:30:56   like sitting there thinking should I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5456">TS</a>]

01:30:58   tell her I'm trip check your fellatio [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5458">TS</a>]

01:31:00   ontology 69 and her name was something [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5460">TS</a>]

01:31:04   like Sam can go over i don't remember [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5464">TS</a>]

01:31:06   his ex cutter ex got x.x eyeliner and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5466">TS</a>]

01:31:14   the and i never i didn't cop to it I was [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5474">TS</a>]

01:31:17   just like solar merge i took my picture [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5477">TS</a>]

01:31:19   with their I had five der and off she [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5479">TS</a>]

01:31:22   went into the night and I was like I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5482">TS</a>]

01:31:23   never I never doubted myself as [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5483">TS</a>]

01:31:25   trebuchet [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5485">TS</a>]

01:31:26   well that's that would be unprofessional [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5486">TS</a>]

01:31:28   right if I mean the whole point of good [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5488">TS</a>]

01:31:30   designer standard don't don't don't say [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5490">TS</a>]

01:31:31   if you know but it's my understanding [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5491">TS</a>]

01:31:32   that you want to keep your secret a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5492">TS</a>]

01:31:35   secret long after it doesn't even need [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5495">TS</a>]

01:31:37   to be a secret like we don't want to let [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5497">TS</a>]

01:31:38   you know we don't need to tell you how [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5498">TS</a>]

01:31:39   this ending thing worked [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5499">TS</a>]

01:31:40   we're not going to get any of that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5500">TS</a>]

01:31:42   exactly means that true didn't they're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5502">TS</a>]

01:31:44   all kinds of things from world war two [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5504">TS</a>]

01:31:45   that given because of the cold war we [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5505">TS</a>]

01:31:49   just didn't want anybody know how he we [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5509">TS</a>]

01:31:50   kept our secret secret for a long time [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5510">TS</a>]

01:31:52   that's how you do right [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5512">TS</a>]

01:31:53   yeah well I'm some of that stuff i think [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5513">TS</a>]

01:31:55   is still secret not because the thing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5515">TS</a>]

01:31:57   itself but because the methodology and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5517">TS</a>]

01:32:00   who would have known who would have been [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5520">TS</a>]

01:32:01   involved at what times [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5521">TS</a>]

01:32:02   yeah right and and also use some [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5522">TS</a>]

01:32:04   triangulating triangulate all kinds of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5524">TS</a>]

01:32:06   things once you have a little bit of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5526">TS</a>]

01:32:07   information some of those methodologies [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5527">TS</a>]

01:32:08   are still in play the whole concept that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5528">TS</a>]

01:32:12   there are two concepts about espionage [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5532">TS</a>]

01:32:15   in world war two one is that no Nazi spy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5535">TS</a>]

01:32:19   survived war in England but the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5539">TS</a>]

01:32:22   undiscovered buddy was actually happy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5542">TS</a>]

01:32:26   now pulled up the carpet on every single [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5546">TS</a>]

01:32:28   Nazi spy in England that is that's one [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5548">TS</a>]

01:32:32   of the world war two and and i know that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5552">TS</a>]

01:32:33   because the Germans kept such good [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5553">TS</a>]

01:32:35   records [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5555">TS</a>]

01:32:36   well yeah and that that the Germans had [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5556">TS</a>]

01:32:38   almost no espionage successful as they [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5558">TS</a>]

01:32:41   turned every agent so the Germans were [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5561">TS</a>]

01:32:44   like they weren't getting any good [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5564">TS</a>]

01:32:46   espionage they were getting all plants [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5566">TS</a>]

01:32:49   planted SPM planted information [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5569">TS</a>]

01:32:52   double-double agent double operative we [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5572">TS</a>]

01:32:54   call that will compromise which term for [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5574">TS</a>]

01:32:56   that double triple secret probation who [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5576">TS</a>]

01:32:58   can and the other myth is that that the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5578">TS</a>]

01:33:02   UK a and as I don't know if that's a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5582">TS</a>]

01:33:05   myth nobody knows if there were Nazi [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5585">TS</a>]

01:33:08   spies who who actually were providing [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5588">TS</a>]

01:33:11   good intelligence that were that went [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5591">TS</a>]

01:33:12   undiscovered nobody knows the other I [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5592">TS</a>]

01:33:15   mean somebody probably knows but we [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5595">TS</a>]

01:33:17   don't as a as a people know that the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5597">TS</a>]

01:33:20   other myth is that the British were [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5600">TS</a>]

01:33:23   putting all these guys in trench coats [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5603">TS</a>]

01:33:25   with briefcases and poison-tipped [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5605">TS</a>]

01:33:27   umbrellas parachuting them behind enemy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5607">TS</a>]

01:33:30   lines in Germany and they were provided [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5610">TS</a>]

01:33:33   all this incredible actionable [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5613">TS</a>]

01:33:35   intelligence and the reason that we [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5615">TS</a>]

01:33:37   think that is that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5617">TS</a>]

01:33:40   the the germans captured some of these [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5620">TS</a>]

01:33:42   guys with with umbrellas and entrench [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5622">TS</a>]

01:33:45   codes and they thought well if we're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5625">TS</a>]

01:33:46   capturing you know if we captured fifty [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5626">TS</a>]

01:33:48   these guys that must mean 500 got [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5628">TS</a>]

01:33:50   through but i don't think that that is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5630">TS</a>]

01:33:54   actually true [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5634">TS</a>]

01:33:54   the Germans might have captured every [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5634">TS</a>]

01:33:56   single spy it just served in the British [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5636">TS</a>]

01:33:59   to perpetuate this idea that they're [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5639">TS</a>]

01:34:02   spies were getting through a lot of the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5642">TS</a>]

01:34:04   British intelligence just came from [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5644">TS</a>]

01:34:05   turncoat Nazis but it served them to to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5645">TS</a>]

01:34:10   perpetuate this idea that they know they [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5650">TS</a>]

01:34:12   have spies everywhere so I think some of [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5652">TS</a>]

01:34:14   those and some of those there's still [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5654">TS</a>]

01:34:16   fueling some of those meals because you [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5656">TS</a>]

01:34:19   never know when the secret might be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5659">TS</a>]

01:34:20   useful again exactly if you've got if [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5660">TS</a>]

01:34:23   you've got like yeah where the card is [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5663">TS</a>]

01:34:25   not a drop it drop what you call we call [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5665">TS</a>]

01:34:26   the place where you stick something in a [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5666">TS</a>]

01:34:27   hole and then Draco dead you have a dead [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5667">TS</a>]

01:34:29   drop and you know as far as you know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5669">TS</a>]

01:34:31   it's not been discovered [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5671">TS</a>]

01:34:32   like why would you tell everybody all [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5672">TS</a>]

01:34:33   here's where all are dead drops were [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5673">TS</a>]

01:34:35   have a nice day [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5675">TS</a>]

01:34:36   right because you don't want to tell [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5676">TS</a>]

01:34:38   people what you didn't know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5678">TS</a>]

01:34:39   yeah don't tell them I do that every [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5679">TS</a>]

01:34:40   game i have safe houses all over this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5680">TS</a>]

01:34:44   country i'm never going to tell anybody [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5684">TS</a>]

01:34:45   but you should you said too much already [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5685">TS</a>]

01:34:47   so he's the practice of capital exist [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5687">TS</a>]

01:34:51   now Constantine rock-and-roll County [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5691">TS</a>]

01:34:54   deputy eat does he does he does he play [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5694">TS</a>]

01:34:56   guitar like a lazy lee atwater type [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5696">TS</a>]

01:34:58   situation do here I like absolutely [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5698">TS</a>]

01:35:00   loves he loves rock music us shows he's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5700">TS</a>]

01:35:04   a hip guy because you're familiar with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5704">TS</a>]

01:35:05   this guy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5705">TS</a>]

01:35:06   oh he's a he's a he's a bro fruit and [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5706">TS</a>]

01:35:09   you know powerful local politician give [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5709">TS</a>]

01:35:12   me the man in the corner it seems like [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5712">TS</a>]

01:35:13   somebody if you run into trouble with [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5713">TS</a>]

01:35:14   this whole trebuchet thing that [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5714">TS</a>]

01:35:15   accounting guy is going to be nice to [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5715">TS</a>]

01:35:17   have your going to want people working [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5717">TS</a>]

01:35:18   all different angles right well that's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5718">TS</a>]

01:35:20   the thing i'm gonna i'm gonna call him [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5720">TS</a>]

01:35:21   i'm going to say listen I misread the [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5721">TS</a>]

01:35:23   zoning I thought that this i thought my [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5723">TS</a>]

01:35:26   my neighborhood was zoned for Trisha's [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5726">TS</a>]

01:35:28   you're like an old woman telling a copy [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5728">TS</a>]

01:35:30   didn't see the Sun and puts and cousin [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5730">TS</a>]

01:35:32   i-i-i thought I understood if it's very [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5732">TS</a>]

01:35:35   complicated language I just want to be [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5735">TS</a>]

01:35:36   real clear with this I was completely [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5736">TS</a>]

01:35:38   aware that I was making a trip in [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5738">TS</a>]

01:35:39   shooting 55-gallon drums votes I'm not [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5739">TS</a>]

01:35:41   gonna obviously like I can't take it [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5741">TS</a>]

01:35:43   back [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5743">TS</a>]

01:35:44   look if I turned around and shooting [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5744">TS</a>]

01:35:45   them to the south with that have been [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5745">TS</a>]

01:35:47   alright [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5747">TS</a>]

01:35:47   I have to tell you I just I didn't know [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5747">TS</a>]

01:35:49   up listen listen maybe we can forget [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5749">TS</a>]

01:35:52   about the things that get all about this [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5752">TS</a>]

01:35:53   is the tickets to the show haha love our [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5753">TS</a>]

01:36:02   trebuchet [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5762">TS</a>]

01:36:03   [Music] [<a href="https://overcast.fm/+BmEOsV2Ew/5763">TS</a>]