Roderick on the Line

Ep. 54: "This Is Not YOUR Kennel"


00:00:00   [Music] [TS]

00:00:07   hello I John hi Merlin how are you I'm [TS]

00:00:15   good [TS]

00:00:16   yeah are you okay this is a little bit [TS]

00:00:19   early don't boo me you sound you some [TS]

00:00:23   faraway so far away you are far away [TS]

00:00:25   you're in California [TS]

00:00:26   yeah well you know I don't want to break [TS]

00:00:28   the fourth wall as they say [TS]

00:00:30   yeah what happened did you get a new [TS]

00:00:32   microphone um I no no no [TS]

00:00:35   same-same microphone i think my uh i [TS]

00:00:37   think one thing my hearing I mean I'm [TS]

00:00:39   getting into that like Pete Townsend Bob [TS]

00:00:43   Mould thing where I yelled tinnitus [TS]

00:00:45   No No thank God knock on what I don't [TS]

00:00:48   but I've got I the range of what I can [TS]

00:00:51   hear is does not include the human voice [TS]

00:00:54   anymore [TS]

00:00:55   OIC i think so many towns in my baby [TS]

00:00:57   time to talk about that that's the thing [TS]

00:00:59   is when you stand in front of a high [TS]

00:01:00   watt for well many high watch for that [TS]

00:01:02   many years it's it's ironic that the [TS]

00:01:05   range as you know i'm not an audiologist [TS]

00:01:08   but the range well thank you doing what [TS]

00:01:12   at the range gets knocked out is very [TS]

00:01:14   close to the range of human voice yeah I [TS]

00:01:19   find even more specifically the range [TS]

00:01:21   that gets knocked out for me is the [TS]

00:01:24   range of the female human voice it's [TS]

00:01:27   hard to hear women I wasn't going to say [TS]

00:01:29   anything but especially when you're [TS]

00:01:31   alone with them [TS]

00:01:32   yeah right or they have some things I [TS]

00:01:35   want to talk about me and the matter [TS]

00:01:37   they get the harder it is to hear them [TS]

00:01:39   yeah LOL they're like me can I have that [TS]

00:01:41   I have a couple of things that I'd like [TS]

00:01:44   to talk to you about [TS]

00:01:45   it's like what huh and you have to get [TS]

00:01:49   it [TS]

00:01:50   I feel like I've asked you this you [TS]

00:01:51   don't eat tinnitus you know after years [TS]

00:01:54   and years of standing in front of not a [TS]

00:01:56   high watt but uh but other very loud [TS]

00:01:58   amps i went to a bachelor party a couple [TS]

00:02:02   years ago did I tell you the story [TS]

00:02:03   although this is that yeah that's right [TS]

00:02:05   of course you do you shot the gun [TS]

00:02:07   shotgun with your thing off a guy shot [TS]

00:02:09   the gun and I had my headphones often [TS]

00:02:10   and it was like a I've had I've had a [TS]

00:02:14   ringing in my ear ever since I forgot [TS]

00:02:15   this isn't that now again that's an iron [TS]

00:02:17   inside the irony [TS]

00:02:18   no not the kind of the kind of hearing [TS]

00:02:20   loss you get from a gun how does that [TS]

00:02:22   relate to women doesn't change anything [TS]

00:02:24   about how you understand the whatever [TS]

00:02:27   the better gender whatever they want [TS]

00:02:28   yeah it's definitely definitely inhibits [TS]

00:02:31   my ability to hear them complain about [TS]

00:02:33   gun violence you know like that because [TS]

00:02:37   i'm sitting around as I'm sitting around [TS]

00:02:39   cleaning my own guns and they're like [TS]

00:02:40   you should have got to the house you [TS]

00:02:42   have a small child i'm like i don't know [TS]

00:02:43   i can hear you mumbling had my dad had [TS]

00:02:52   bad hearing because of all those years [TS]

00:02:53   he claimed flying airplanes making the [TS]

00:02:58   world safe for democracy statement is 45 [TS]

00:03:01   seconds 45 and so he didn't have he had [TS]

00:03:04   bad hearing he had he had your uh [TS]

00:03:06   earphone what are those things called [TS]

00:03:08   hearing aids but also even your memory [TS]

00:03:13   goes a little bit after a gunshot to the [TS]

00:03:15   latter deck he could hear my sister [TS]

00:03:18   couldn't hear my mom he heard me fine [TS]

00:03:21   but i have i have a voice like a French [TS]

00:03:24   horn [TS]

00:03:25   ok gotta put your fist in it haha that's [TS]

00:03:32   one of the hardest hola [TS]

00:03:34   that's one of the hardest system is to [TS]

00:03:35   play you know that French horn you know [TS]

00:03:37   it's that in my opinion the French horn [TS]

00:03:39   is the secret weapon of pop music if you [TS]

00:03:42   put a French horn on a song because yeah [TS]

00:03:46   I think it was John Entwistle I memory [TS]

00:03:49   serves one of the first probably John [TS]

00:03:50   whistle toots whistle and you have to [TS]

00:03:53   get guests George Martin had a lot to do [TS]

00:03:55   with that you don't look at actually [TS]

00:03:56   just bust out of french horn and play it [TS]

00:03:58   you reading [TS]

00:03:59   who booked right now or something i'm [TS]

00:04:01   sorry you know Roger Daltrey was a short [TS]

00:04:04   man he was [TS]

00:04:05   I met Roger Daltrey but i think we [TS]

00:04:08   finally reached the point where [TS]

00:04:08   repeating its so you came back from [TS]

00:04:13   Europe and you had trouble with the [TS]

00:04:14   zipper on your bag and your father [TS]

00:04:17   uh so you know what it's a joke that is [TS]

00:04:20   funny i think i do I like I'm imagining [TS]

00:04:23   like a graph of the various Hertz's [TS]

00:04:27   or whatever and I do think it is the [TS]

00:04:29   higher end of the human voice that i [TS]

00:04:31   have the most trouble with i'm not [TS]

00:04:33   saying that's just ladies it could be [TS]

00:04:34   whiny people I sound like a broken [TS]

00:04:35   clarinet i'm actually what I'm actually [TS]

00:04:38   seen a graph of my hearing I went to an [TS]

00:04:42   audiologist and they did a long hearing [TS]

00:04:44   tests on me and in my right ear [TS]

00:04:46   there is a there's a dramatic little [TS]

00:04:50   spike the downward spike right about the [TS]

00:04:53   right about at the aware of a female [TS]

00:04:56   voices is pitch wise so you say there is [TS]

00:05:00   no god but at the same time I also [TS]

00:05:04   happen to have to deal with a little you [TS]

00:05:09   know a little cadre of women in my own [TS]

00:05:12   personal life who are mumblers album now [TS]

00:05:15   or mumblers and not just mumblers but [TS]

00:05:18   also like like like sentence Polar's you [TS]

00:05:24   know they kind of that they like like [TS]

00:05:26   kill the end of their sentences in order [TS]

00:05:29   to draw you into their drug draw you [TS]

00:05:31   into a pic appearing to be more [TS]

00:05:33   interested in what I need human thing to [TS]

00:05:35   do you at least two ways first of all [TS]

00:05:37   you're having trouble hearing whatever [TS]

00:05:38   they're saying to begin with [TS]

00:05:39   thank you exactly been as a thinker as a [TS]

00:05:42   thinker and somebody who demands [TS]

00:05:43   satisfaction as well as completion route [TS]

00:05:46   you're going to want to know what was [TS]

00:05:48   that what was that I just I I almost [TS]

00:05:50   heard something what was that I don't [TS]

00:05:51   like mumbling and trailing you had [TS]

00:05:53   trailing trailing is it's a it's am I I [TS]

00:05:57   think of it as like a boardroom [TS]

00:05:58   technique it's a it's like a the it's [TS]

00:06:03   the it's the think the guy that speaks [TS]

00:06:04   incredibly quietly in order to to [TS]

00:06:07   dominate people [TS]

00:06:08   oh yeah that they say that if you want [TS]

00:06:09   to make people listen you should speak [TS]

00:06:11   quietly oh it's the work I mean taken to [TS]

00:06:15   a point i agree but but but taken to the [TS]

00:06:17   extreme where you're like this everybody [TS]

00:06:20   huh that's like that's like 10 you're [TS]

00:06:22   killing me now that's like one of those [TS]

00:06:24   like discount dale carnegie techniques [TS]

00:06:26   you know like some douchebag hears that [TS]

00:06:29   and I've met a lot of extremely [TS]

00:06:30   uninteresting people who speak quietly [TS]

00:06:32   because they think it makes them [TS]

00:06:33   interesting now somebody who speaks [TS]

00:06:36   speaks really why I'm learning i speak [TS]

00:06:38   very loudly that it's i'm not saying [TS]

00:06:40   that makes [TS]

00:06:40   me interesting I but I've been wanting [TS]

00:06:43   to single I you know a lot of people [TS]

00:06:44   I've met who consider themselves [TS]

00:06:45   futurists speak very quietly oh right [TS]

00:06:48   because they are they don't know that [TS]

00:06:51   there are presuming that other people [TS]

00:06:52   are gonna go into the future develop [TS]

00:06:55   some technology to come back into the [TS]

00:06:57   past to be able to hear what they're so [TS]

00:06:59   you know that it could be it could be [TS]

00:07:01   time travelers very complicated issue I [TS]

00:07:03   i thought well let's not talk about time [TS]

00:07:05   travel is that such a lovely time travel [TS]

00:07:08   no but ever since I saw a looper now I [TS]

00:07:11   realized that when I me but he starts [TS]

00:07:12   talking about time travel [TS]

00:07:14   the answer is let's not talk about time [TS]

00:07:16   probably heard about that that's that's [TS]

00:07:17   that's a funny way to treat well i just [TS]

00:07:19   read about 600 pages of a comic that was [TS]

00:07:23   a long comic arc that was about time [TS]

00:07:25   travel and my daughter and i have been [TS]

00:07:27   reading a comic book that involves time [TS]

00:07:30   travel and it always makes my head hurt [TS]

00:07:32   paradoxes upon paradoxes yeah burdock [TS]

00:07:35   and then of course the worst part is [TS]

00:07:36   there's somebody who can explain it and [TS]

00:07:38   I just don't want them to explain it i'm [TS]

00:07:40   not that there never is because it's [TS]

00:07:42   because he gets it's just the the [TS]

00:07:44   infinite universes problem whereas [TS]

00:07:46   lineup that's a big problem Marvel right [TS]

00:07:48   now is just too many universes many [TS]

00:07:49   universes there really are too many [TS]

00:07:51   universes and marble and whatever got my [TS]

00:08:00   bell here I'm touching it but I'm not [TS]

00:08:01   doing it [TS]

00:08:02   Marvel that's good that's pretty good [TS]

00:08:04   yeah i'm a dilemma census tract laughs [TS]

00:08:08   now that it's it's early because it's [TS]

00:08:11   too early i had according to I have a [TS]

00:08:13   little dingus on my phone that I used to [TS]

00:08:15   tell me how well i slept according to my [TS]

00:08:17   data system at its it's a long story [TS]

00:08:20   short you put it on your bed and it and [TS]

00:08:22   kind of observes how often you move [TS]

00:08:24   while you slept [TS]

00:08:24   which tracks to how deeply you're [TS]

00:08:25   sleeping and it calculates based on how [TS]

00:08:28   long you slept and how often you were [TS]

00:08:30   deeply or not deeply asleep it tells you [TS]

00:08:32   how high quality sleep was it would be a [TS]

00:08:34   single number [TS]

00:08:35   well yeah it's got like an index to give [TS]

00:08:37   you a cloud score how was like is make [TS]

00:08:39   like a cloud of 96 last night which is [TS]

00:08:41   from usually the 60 so I really I killed [TS]

00:08:43   it last night how high five [TS]

00:08:45   thank you i went to bed early and my [TS]

00:08:47   wife let me sleep in a little bit you [TS]

00:08:48   know what happened i came back from our [TS]

00:08:51   are our show and I i gotta stress bomb [TS]

00:08:53   some oh I'm sorry where is it oh it's [TS]

00:08:56   you know it's actually one of my least [TS]

00:08:57   favorites it's the upper right upper [TS]

00:09:00   right lip [TS]

00:09:00   yeah and this morning I thought I might [TS]

00:09:02   have one of my nose but then I realized [TS]

00:09:04   that don't really exist I would I i [TS]

00:09:07   don't agree i think that stress bumps on [TS]

00:09:09   the nose her major wisher probably [TS]

00:09:11   covered that enough that's where stress [TS]

00:09:13   bumps want to be as on the you stay here [TS]

00:09:15   is the human side of stress pumps i'm [TS]

00:09:17   going to just talking about you know [TS]

00:09:18   having getting kissed by uncle licky and [TS]

00:09:20   bad girls but it really does when you [TS]

00:09:22   it'sit's again this is the irony show it [TS]

00:09:25   is very ironic that when you when you [TS]

00:09:29   really don't get enough sleep and you're [TS]

00:09:31   stressed out and you're pushing too hard [TS]

00:09:35   it's if i do that for more than a couple [TS]

00:09:37   days mainly the sleep part you know but [TS]

00:09:39   also maybe the drinking the standout but [TS]

00:09:41   really it's the sleep if I do that for [TS]

00:09:43   more than a couple days there's a pretty [TS]

00:09:45   good chance i'm going to get the stress [TS]

00:09:46   pump [TS]

00:09:47   yeah especially when i travel because I [TS]

00:09:48   think may mean system is you know [TS]

00:09:50   exposed has it ever occurred to you to [TS]

00:09:53   grow a beard [TS]

00:09:54   yes why don't you do it well that's like [TS]

00:09:57   it having it occurred maybe nine feet [TS]

00:09:58   tall like I'm just not sure it's not a [TS]

00:10:00   warehouse uh you know my theory on [TS]

00:10:03   beards that God gives men the beards [TS]

00:10:05   that those men deserve [TS]

00:10:07   oh brother does that ever make sense oh [TS]

00:10:09   no we made it but it does yeah you wear [TS]

00:10:12   the beard that you you where the beer [TS]

00:10:15   that you have not the beer that you want [TS]

00:10:17   L star runs felt yeah that's that's a [TS]

00:10:20   really good point and so those guys i [TS]

00:10:22   can remember the guys in college you [TS]

00:10:24   really wanted to grow a beard and let's [TS]

00:10:26   be honest the reason a lot of guys grow [TS]

00:10:28   a goatee is the only place that the [TS]

00:10:29   hairs will go [TS]

00:10:30   that's kind of cheating it if you know [TS]

00:10:33   what I mean it's like if you really try [TS]

00:10:34   to grow an actual beard you know what [TS]

00:10:36   I'm remembering is for this is true for [TS]

00:10:38   me but it's really true for the guys who [TS]

00:10:39   stuck with it and we're willing to look [TS]

00:10:41   stupid for a year [TS]

00:10:42   yes if you wait long enough you can [TS]

00:10:44   almost get a beard [TS]

00:10:45   I think it's true for ladies to if you [TS]

00:10:47   wait long enough you'll eventually get a [TS]

00:10:48   beard well in when i was in college my [TS]

00:10:51   problem is that I had I had one of those [TS]

00:10:54   spin doctors layne staley beards so she [TS]

00:10:58   has to say about the Hat [TS]

00:11:00   the same stick planes daily was the [TS]

00:11:03   singer of sum of that band them doctors [TS]

00:11:09   row lens daily was the Seattle grunge [TS]

00:11:11   truck is alice in chains [TS]

00:11:13   Thank You Allison change hey that's the [TS]

00:11:16   job good job and and the spin doctors [TS]

00:11:19   were that other guy and we both had was [TS]

00:11:21   just worried that you might know the [TS]

00:11:22   name of the singer from the spin doctors [TS]

00:11:23   not a big deal but they both had that [TS]

00:11:25   that beard which was they had a lot of [TS]

00:11:27   hair on their on their on the underside [TS]

00:11:30   of their chin you know like they had a [TS]

00:11:31   big had a big face peered who but really [TS]

00:11:35   no mustache they couldn't grow a [TS]

00:11:37   mustache and this was my problem in [TS]

00:11:39   college I would I i want a year without [TS]

00:11:41   shaving and I had an enormous beard but [TS]

00:11:45   my mustache was like the wispy down on a [TS]

00:11:50   child's bottom and it was infuriating to [TS]

00:11:54   me because I wanted you know I wanted to [TS]

00:11:58   absorb the Greek beard right and I had [TS]

00:12:01   this this spirit that I just I would set [TS]

00:12:05   i would sit and stare in the mirror and [TS]

00:12:07   I would I would ask myself like what if [TS]

00:12:09   you put mascara in your mustache you [TS]

00:12:13   think people would notice if you if you [TS]

00:12:17   bought one of those boxes at the [TS]

00:12:18   drugstore of dark hair coloring and put [TS]

00:12:22   it in your in your mustache but if it is [TS]

00:12:24   not right either right it's yeah that [TS]

00:12:26   everything about it was wrong it was [TS]

00:12:27   there was no I could have handed it i [TS]

00:12:30   could have drawn it on I could have [TS]

00:12:31   drawn a mustache and with with Penn [TS]

00:12:33   nothing was going to look right and I [TS]

00:12:36   and it-it-it taunted me my own beer to [TS]

00:12:41   talk to me until i was at least 30 years [TS]

00:12:42   old when I finally felt like okay you [TS]

00:12:45   know my mustache is finally caught up to [TS]

00:12:46   the rest of the to the rest of what's [TS]

00:12:48   going on but I realized in looking back [TS]

00:12:50   but that is a kind of beard that is what [TS]

00:12:55   i like to call the young warrior beard [TS]

00:12:58   hmm which is to say that in all those [TS]

00:13:00   old sort of Greek like bar relief [TS]

00:13:06   carvings [TS]

00:13:07   of warriors like a Phoenician yeah sort [TS]

00:13:12   of against Sparta right or a Phoenician [TS]

00:13:13   you know the young warriors all have a [TS]

00:13:15   lot of lot of neck beard for lack of a [TS]

00:13:19   better term and not a ton of moustache [TS]

00:13:22   with the moustache is how you that's [TS]

00:13:25   because the day because the soldiers are [TS]

00:13:26   young they are young precisely and the [TS]

00:13:29   first part of your beard that grows [TS]

00:13:30   around your job but in any case the the [TS]

00:13:35   my conclusion was that because as i talk [TS]

00:13:37   to people I go around the world as you [TS]

00:13:39   know and people come up to me and they [TS]

00:13:41   want to talk about beards because i have [TS]

00:13:43   one and and beards are especially it's [TS]

00:13:45   kind of like having a harley or a or a [TS]

00:13:47   great dane yeah exactly like you [TS]

00:13:49   shouldn't you shouldn't have unless you [TS]

00:13:51   want to talk about it yeah I already [TS]

00:13:52   tilted kilt a great date of people who [TS]

00:13:54   have utility kilts happened event [TS]

00:13:56   diagram is very heavily if you have is [TS]

00:13:58   people with utility kilts and people who [TS]

00:13:59   like to talk about utility belts and the [TS]

00:14:01   Venn diagram is that one perfect circle [TS]

00:14:04   yeah yeah I've never been talking about [TS]

00:14:05   utility kilt it doesn't wear one of the [TS]

00:14:07   six that isn't excited to tell you all [TS]

00:14:09   about it but but also excited to tell [TS]

00:14:11   you about it with a certain amount of [TS]

00:14:13   smugness you think so i can overthrown [TS]

00:14:15   and get a brownie vibe from a lot of [TS]

00:14:17   anyone tell me about the benefits the [TS]

00:14:18   SNP's well the benefits but there's a [TS]

00:14:20   little bit of it there's a hottie aspect [TS]

00:14:22   to someone with the utilikilt works like [TS]

00:14:24   either [TS]

00:14:25   I you know like either you know what [TS]

00:14:28   this is and you're and you're asking me [TS]

00:14:32   about it because you're teasing me [TS]

00:14:34   oh right or you don't know what this is [TS]

00:14:37   in which case we clearly not a member of [TS]

00:14:40   the tell it was like having a tattoo on [TS]

00:14:42   your arm in rings mm where you go oh yes [TS]

00:14:45   i see you recognize that these are ruins [TS]

00:14:48   but you probably don't know what it says [TS]

00:14:49   right it says oh so where's the but but [TS]

00:14:54   but I've realized that that almost every [TS]

00:14:56   guy when you really give him a given a [TS]

00:15:01   safe place to talk [TS]

00:15:02   he's going to express a list of [TS]

00:15:05   reservations about his own beard haha [TS]

00:15:08   haha attaching over here and he may not [TS]

00:15:11   have ever mentally made that list but [TS]

00:15:13   when pressed like you wasn't rest it's [TS]

00:15:15   just like you give them a safe place [TS]

00:15:17   you're like oh you're trying to grow a [TS]

00:15:19   beard [TS]

00:15:19   oh I like you're being so it's like at [TS]

00:15:21   the telling this the Scoutmaster story [TS]

00:15:23   you go somewhere it's okay to have that [TS]

00:15:25   conversation here yeah and they're like [TS]

00:15:26   it comes out i started pouring and here [TS]

00:15:28   where the mustache doesn't connect to [TS]

00:15:30   the pro12 is mine that's right touch [TS]

00:15:33   that's mine [TS]

00:15:34   there's a hatch over here that doesn't [TS]

00:15:35   fill in or this or that and everybody [TS]

00:15:38   has these these really small things [TS]

00:15:42   about their beard that to them they have [TS]

00:15:44   amplified to be these like these [TS]

00:15:47   disgusting Ludacris holes in their beard [TS]

00:15:50   that that that basically preclude them [TS]

00:15:53   being able to wear one it's kind of like [TS]

00:15:54   a hirsute anorexia [TS]

00:15:56   yeah it is a body dysmorphia dysmorphia [TS]

00:15:59   I used that word yesterday to talk about [TS]

00:16:01   George Lucas that's a great word of hair [TS]

00:16:03   George Lucas has this sense that he has [TS]

00:16:06   a slim neck all this Congress slim he's [TS]

00:16:10   like experience like that like he has a [TS]

00:16:12   bad beard to pay because he thinks I [TS]

00:16:15   think he honestly thinks that helps his [TS]

00:16:16   dewlap [TS]

00:16:17   let's see it's the andrew dice clay [TS]

00:16:18   problem where andrew dice clay just kept [TS]

00:16:21   making his sideburns sharper and sharper [TS]

00:16:23   to accentuate a jawline that was that [TS]

00:16:27   was coated in a in a developing parka of [TS]

00:16:31   fat but Georgie what happens I always [TS]

00:16:37   assume the pointy side burns were some [TS]

00:16:39   kind of like I want to come back to this [TS]

00:16:41   whole idea is I think there might be [TS]

00:16:42   something nearly phrenology like about [TS]

00:16:44   what we learned from somebody's beer [TS]

00:16:46   that they can or can't grow but I like [TS]

00:16:48   date rape cause point es sideburns [TS]

00:16:50   oh no I think pointy sideburns are [TS]

00:16:52   certainly in anybody that's over like 35 [TS]

00:16:56   is just like the just like the George [TS]

00:16:59   Lucas thing he is trying to architect [TS]

00:17:01   some shape out like a horse perspective [TS]

00:17:05   right it's like oh no this is where my [TS]

00:17:07   face ends and my neck begins with a [TS]

00:17:10   beard think that's people get this soul [TS]

00:17:12   backward and and I I remember like for [TS]

00:17:14   example like a lot of times in in high [TS]

00:17:17   school like when girls are learning how [TS]

00:17:18   to use makeup they use it like backward [TS]

00:17:20   it's where they go there they think it's [TS]

00:17:22   all about building up rather than [TS]

00:17:25   contrasting and so when I want to wear [TS]

00:17:27   in high school is really populace [TS]

00:17:28   there's blue eye makeup it's called Cole [TS]

00:17:30   like koh l and legos will always brings [TS]

00:17:33   out my blue-eyes it's like will know [TS]

00:17:35   what looks you makes you look like a day [TS]

00:17:37   after hooker like it just makes it just [TS]

00:17:39   makes you look super weird you're not [TS]

00:17:40   contrasting that right [TS]

00:17:42   it's like people you know what I mean [TS]

00:17:44   like people like George Lucas I think he [TS]

00:17:46   doesn't realize what he's really doing [TS]

00:17:48   is saying hey look I gotta do lap down [TS]

00:17:49   here it's not now in some men sometimes [TS]

00:17:52   pointing at it rather than then he's [TS]

00:17:54   creating they were here sign for his [TS]

00:17:56   dewlap [TS]

00:17:56   yeah I feel like if George Lucas just [TS]

00:17:58   let his beard grow down over his [TS]

00:18:01   bullfrog neck has no chin that's the [TS]

00:18:03   other problem is he has no chin right [TS]

00:18:04   but that is that is one of this like the [TS]

00:18:07   top four reasons guys grow a beard to [TS]

00:18:09   look like to have a chin [TS]

00:18:10   yeah did you ever see a picture Jerry [TS]

00:18:12   Garcia without his beard now know is [TS]

00:18:14   it's freezing let's think about falling [TS]

00:18:16   off that foot goes face goes from his [TS]

00:18:18   nose to his Adam's apple there's nothing [TS]

00:18:19   in between it's just like that goddamn [TS]

00:18:21   shame but well it isn't because he [TS]

00:18:23   discovered that if you grow a big beard [TS]

00:18:24   you look like Jerry Garcia one of the [TS]

00:18:26   most iconic rock faces of all time [TS]

00:18:29   if you say so so there I've known a lot [TS]

00:18:32   of guys that had no children grow a [TS]

00:18:33   beard and they were handsome God States [TS]

00:18:35   oh yes you're absolutely right you're at [TS]

00:18:36   you know what you're absolutely right i [TS]

00:18:38   I have a good friend that like Sachin [TS]

00:18:40   and has a very strategic retreating [TS]

00:18:44   hairline many he does he does well with [TS]

00:18:47   both you know he's not he's not doing [TS]

00:18:49   that truly farcical kind of come forward [TS]

00:18:52   like it's pretty believable [TS]

00:18:54   oh he's got a little hairdo you're [TS]

00:18:55   saying monuments george clooney made the [TS]

00:18:57   Caesar thing you don't like okay well [TS]

00:19:01   thank God like we said is on five shows [TS]

00:19:02   but start guide you can shave your head [TS]

00:19:04   today [TS]

00:19:04   yeah i think that is that is the [TS]

00:19:06   greatest diet is like the gay rights of [TS]

00:19:08   hair it is so great that's ok now to say [TS]

00:19:10   you don't want to shave my head may be [TS]

00:19:11   involved maybe I'm not probably fall but [TS]

00:19:13   I'm i look really cool now let's honor [TS]

00:19:15   today not not in person but I saw it on [TS]

00:19:17   the Internet where he he was bald and he [TS]

00:19:20   shaved his head and then had stubble [TS]

00:19:23   tattooed on his head in the in the shape [TS]

00:19:27   of where we're a full head of hair would [TS]

00:19:29   be growing and he'll hear it really haha [TS]

00:19:34   had a lot like John's is pulling it off [TS]

00:19:36   I'm gonna be looked at it looked pretty [TS]

00:19:38   tough huh [TS]

00:19:40   he did but so you're saying your friend [TS]

00:19:42   with the comb forward [TS]

00:19:44   yeah as creative as a what what you [TS]

00:19:47   could unkindly call a weak chin but he [TS]

00:19:49   looks great you don't think is a hideous [TS]

00:19:50   freak or anything like that but you know [TS]

00:19:53   you're onto something extremely [TS]

00:19:54   interesting here and and we talked about [TS]

00:19:56   phonology before there's some other [TS]

00:19:58   things we talked about where she was the [TS]

00:20:00   other one but we can tell a lot about a [TS]

00:20:01   person by by by other things they say [TS]

00:20:04   and do I don't go nuts but but I you [TS]

00:20:10   know I was it was was it that was your [TS]

00:20:12   teeth [TS]

00:20:13   I forget what it was but is one of you [TS]

00:20:14   you are getting very close your job your [TS]

00:20:17   job you're like lack of security [TS]

00:20:20   huh understanding saving for the future [TS]

00:20:22   but my feeling about a beard is that one [TS]

00:20:27   of the things that as a student of [TS]

00:20:28   beards for many years if you if you open [TS]

00:20:32   up a fashion magazine men's fashion [TS]

00:20:35   magazine all the models now have beards [TS]

00:20:38   and a lot of those beards are very [TS]

00:20:41   patchy like that's kind of a look if not [TS]

00:20:46   the law in the kind of like young guy pv [TS]

00:20:49   patchy [TS]

00:20:49   yeah young guide pew be patchy model [TS]

00:20:52   beard is a calling all the pdx isn't [TS]

00:20:57   that kind of important thing before you [TS]

00:20:58   get the giant beard you know because [TS]

00:21:00   you're late for 25 and you're playing [TS]

00:21:02   acoustic guitar being earnest you got [TS]

00:21:04   have a beard right thing a cheap you [TS]

00:21:06   beard so you've got that you've got the [TS]

00:21:07   the sideburns the mustache the chin the [TS]

00:21:10   soul patch and the cheeks and none of [TS]

00:21:13   them actually really connect to each [TS]

00:21:14   other physical acapella cos and this is [TS]

00:21:17   this is this is in some ways an [TS]

00:21:20   incredibly fashionable way to wear your [TS]

00:21:22   beard and also it is a like like blue [TS]

00:21:27   eyeshadow which blue eyeshadow is meant [TS]

00:21:30   to mimic the closeness of the blood [TS]

00:21:32   vessels to the skin that a young girl [TS]

00:21:35   has true right that's so young people [TS]

00:21:38   you know their skin is still translucent [TS]

00:21:40   and you see the you see the blue of [TS]

00:21:42   their oxygen deprived blood [TS]

00:21:45   right under their skin and that conveys [TS]

00:21:47   to us unconsciously youth and vitality [TS]

00:21:50   did not know that [TS]

00:21:51   so a little blue eyeshadow is what old [TS]

00:21:54   older people use to mimic this like this [TS]

00:21:59   this youthfulness and the same is true [TS]

00:22:01   with the patchy beard so my contention [TS]

00:22:04   is that older gentleman or rather i'm [TS]

00:22:07   not calling you old but rather to say [TS]

00:22:09   men who have attained their their agency [TS]

00:22:13   if you are lucky enough to have a youth [TS]

00:22:18   full patchy beard I would wear it with [TS]

00:22:21   pride food because those of us who have [TS]

00:22:23   a beard that goes basically from [TS]

00:22:25   underneath our eyes to somewhere in a [TS]

00:22:29   chili which is where my beard ends chili [TS]

00:22:35   we don't have the option I would have to [TS]

00:22:39   mhm i would have to go in with two pairs [TS]

00:22:41   of of scissors and some toenail clippers [TS]

00:22:43   and a you know in a bottle of bleach to [TS]

00:22:45   make my beard look patching I see what I [TS]

00:22:47   i think i understand it looks like a [TS]

00:22:49   beaver pelts my bird [TS]

00:22:51   ladies I am I love these gentle bells [TS]

00:22:59   about you're just reaching out you could [TS]

00:23:01   you just touching you just like let's [TS]

00:23:03   like I was appreciating our better show [TS]

00:23:05   how good your microphone skills are and [TS]

00:23:07   I think that's important you watch that [TS]

00:23:08   feist when that face sings that lady's [TS]

00:23:10   got Mike skills she don't see your house [TS]

00:23:12   or quiet just a couple of different mics [TS]

00:23:15   too and she's amazing but I mean I wanna [TS]

00:23:17   get that way with the bell I don't care [TS]

00:23:18   if I can't say that matter i just like [TS]

00:23:20   the idea this Bell being something where [TS]

00:23:21   I have a little bit of subtlety [TS]

00:23:23   I like that yeah well and we we [TS]

00:23:25   perfected at our show the other day the [TS]

00:23:27   pic clam bell the ponk i like the idea [TS]

00:23:36   of honest I don't know why this is so [TS]

00:23:38   interesting to me but you know in our [TS]

00:23:40   post age of reason age you know we would [TS]

00:23:44   never look at something like phonology [TS]

00:23:45   and go like this technology is still [TS]

00:23:47   around until the late or early 20th [TS]

00:23:48   century but the idea that there's these [TS]

00:23:50   things about you know what it was we're [TS]

00:23:52   talking about stress bumps we're talking [TS]

00:23:53   about like this says something about you [TS]

00:23:54   like morally in this online medieval [TS]

00:23:56   sense [TS]

00:23:57   and because you know there's no place [TS]

00:23:59   you can go where a stress bump is going [TS]

00:24:01   to be accepted know if you go down to [TS]

00:24:03   the local firehouse [TS]

00:24:05   yeah wine tastings they're gonna shun [TS]

00:24:07   you kissing girls even if you even if [TS]

00:24:10   you go under the embarcadero people are [TS]

00:24:13   like burning trash in a garbage pail [TS]

00:24:15   you're like hello my friend they will [TS]

00:24:18   share they will share their hooch like [TS]

00:24:20   yeah but you know the idea that it's [TS]

00:24:23   funny because i have a face I have a [TS]

00:24:25   when I shave and get a haircut i have a [TS]

00:24:27   have a pretty classic like guy face i [TS]

00:24:31   got a big got a big chin i gotta-i gotta [TS]

00:24:33   ja I do have beady eyes which I'm [TS]

00:24:36   himself god this is the thing about [TS]

00:24:37   thank you know you have a handsome miss [TS]

00:24:40   well I don't know about that but it's [TS]

00:24:42   funny how like you know there's all [TS]

00:24:43   kinds of this happened for years and [TS]

00:24:44   years and years to show people pictures [TS]

00:24:46   of people like say do you trust them [TS]

00:24:48   you know would you trust this person and [TS]

00:24:49   so forth and and I like the idea that [TS]

00:24:52   the beard you deserve because the beauty [TS]

00:24:55   deserve you think about is going on the [TS]

00:24:57   face you got which is in some sense the [TS]

00:24:59   face that you deserve [TS]

00:25:00   that's right exactly right so you submit [TS]

00:25:03   the cigarettes and you start getting a [TS]

00:25:04   little wrinkly right you I don't get a [TS]

00:25:08   terminally to choke you and you get [TS]

00:25:09   particular hemorrhaging in your eyes you [TS]

00:25:11   know everything that you've time is [TS]

00:25:13   going to have some kind of an impact on [TS]

00:25:14   how your face looks well and I think [TS]

00:25:16   this is that this goes to the dysmorphia [TS]

00:25:18   of of that we all have I think from we [TS]

00:25:21   spend a lot more time looking at other [TS]

00:25:23   people's faces when we do our own with [TS]

00:25:25   and so we developed this kind of picture [TS]

00:25:29   of ourselves [TS]

00:25:30   I EU and I know a guy I've mentioned [TS]

00:25:32   this before who is a who is a man with [TS]

00:25:35   the with very distinctive looks but who [TS]

00:25:37   I've always contended in his mind's eye [TS]

00:25:40   pictures himself looking like a young [TS]

00:25:42   Johnny Depp who and so or Morrissey [TS]

00:25:46   because these were these were faces that [TS]

00:25:48   he he fixated on and then what would [TS]

00:25:52   that caused in him was every time he [TS]

00:25:54   caught a glimpse of himself in that it [TS]

00:25:57   in the reflection of a style right he [TS]

00:26:00   would be newly horrified horrified for [TS]

00:26:03   the first time [TS]

00:26:04   a each time like that brutal brutal [TS]

00:26:07   cognitive dissonance [TS]

00:26:08   yeah that he realizes he's walking down [TS]

00:26:10   the street is like I am looking like [TS]

00:26:12   Johnny Depp and then he looks at him [TS]

00:26:13   somebody goes ah and end it and it was a [TS]

00:26:16   reinforced it was a constant like [TS]

00:26:19   reinforcing trauma that get it gave him [TS]

00:26:24   this kind of the skit the schism in his [TS]

00:26:26   mind about what what he looked like he [TS]

00:26:28   he thought he was more hideous than he [TS]

00:26:30   was another one and then another the [TS]

00:26:32   solution to that are are easy or or [TS]

00:26:36   happy because it what do you do I mean [TS]

00:26:38   there's the John Rocker approach of [TS]

00:26:39   one's gonna keep staring this goddamn [TS]

00:26:41   earring so I don't care what I look like [TS]

00:26:42   I'm guessing over you could say maybe I [TS]

00:26:45   mean on the other end you could be a [TS]

00:26:46   little sophisticated simple maybe I have [TS]

00:26:48   to just accept that I don't look like [TS]

00:26:50   Johnny Depp or you could just quit [TS]

00:26:51   catching yourself in years [TS]

00:26:53   mm well but the problem is we all want [TS]

00:26:55   to i think we all want to imagine that [TS]

00:26:59   we are good looking enough you know 444 [TS]

00:27:03   whatever our circumstances are and [TS]

00:27:07   through it's the rare person it's it's [TS]

00:27:11   the right person that doesn't think they [TS]

00:27:13   are almost good-looking enough you know [TS]

00:27:15   what I mean like yeah it's very rare [TS]

00:27:18   that people think like I am truly [TS]

00:27:19   hideous from top to bottom but but where [TS]

00:27:21   were we always find ourselves wanting [TS]

00:27:23   just that that extra little push over [TS]

00:27:26   the over the hump where we would be good [TS]

00:27:29   looking enough that you know to pass and [TS]

00:27:32   the reality is we're all good minutes [TS]

00:27:35   this is the this is the classic thing [TS]

00:27:36   that you hear from people all the time [TS]

00:27:37   when they get to be in their thirties [TS]

00:27:38   and forties and they they look back at [TS]

00:27:41   their youth and they say I thought I was [TS]

00:27:43   so disgusting when I was 18 and now I [TS]

00:27:46   look at every 18 year old and they're [TS]

00:27:48   all beautiful [TS]

00:27:49   yeah like it's just being 18 is just use [TS]

00:27:52   your intrinsically you gotta really get [TS]

00:27:54   to about that a few weeks ago that that [TS]

00:27:56   I liked a lot and others about how you [TS]

00:27:58   look or weight or something like that [TS]

00:27:59   that it is absolutely true that's why [TS]

00:28:01   it's one reason teenagers are so [TS]

00:28:03   insufferable you know it's like you know [TS]

00:28:05   the age you know youth being wasted on [TS]

00:28:08   the young kind of thing but but you're [TS]

00:28:10   absolutely right because and we're [TS]

00:28:11   obsessing over a different thing at that [TS]

00:28:12   point right [TS]

00:28:13   our always seeing is our our seeing is [TS]

00:28:15   our deficits which are in restaurants [TS]

00:28:17   respect [TS]

00:28:18   should be fairly minor when you don't [TS]

00:28:20   see that you have things like energy [TS]

00:28:22   right and you haven't been broken yet [TS]

00:28:25   right well and I think I feel like the [TS]

00:28:27   same is true of being 40 years old I [TS]

00:28:29   mean at 40 years old [TS]

00:28:31   you can as you say study the study the [TS]

00:28:34   way a person has lived by seeing their [TS]

00:28:36   cigarette lines and there and the beat [TS]

00:28:40   of the way that they're evil has [TS]

00:28:42   manifested itself on their face and [TS]

00:28:45   their gnarled knuckles and in my hand my [TS]

00:28:49   case the fact that they're chewy wallet [TS]

00:28:52   all the all the teeth that they got [TS]

00:28:54   knocked out when you were a young person [TS]

00:28:56   fighting in bars started all that starts [TS]

00:29:01   to come home to roost but in fact being [TS]

00:29:03   being 40 [TS]

00:29:04   I mean that is the dare i say that the [TS]

00:29:07   prime of life who and when you look when [TS]

00:29:11   you look at a picture when you when you [TS]

00:29:12   when you read an obituary of somebody or [TS]

00:29:14   you're reading their autobiography the [TS]

00:29:16   picture of them at 40 years old is the [TS]

00:29:20   picture of them [TS]

00:29:21   yeah you know like there's there there [TS]

00:29:24   are the pictures of them when they're [TS]

00:29:25   young and the pictures of them when they [TS]

00:29:26   were old but the picture of them that [TS]

00:29:28   rep you know how they are who they were [TS]

00:29:31   it was always you know when they were 40 [TS]

00:29:33   or 50 i think you're right i was i was [TS]

00:29:35   reading I my knowledge of Leonard Cohen [TS]

00:29:40   is really spotty so i was learning a [TS]

00:29:41   little bit about letter con last night [TS]

00:29:43   and I was looking the pictures of him [TS]

00:29:45   when he was younger really weird-looking [TS]

00:29:46   yeah he seems so different from the [TS]

00:29:48   pictures of like what i said and now [TS]

00:29:50   it's old now like he's an old guy now [TS]

00:29:52   but you're right the pictures of him [TS]

00:29:53   like in the like the mid to late [TS]

00:29:55   seventies or whatever or like like [TS]

00:29:57   that's what he looks like [TS]

00:29:58   yeah that's him Paul Simon you know [TS]

00:30:00   actually cause I was always liked where [TS]

00:30:02   there's never been a time Paul is [TS]

00:30:03   possibly did look a little weird [TS]

00:30:05   also I'm is a little strange isn't it [TS]

00:30:06   yeah he's a he's yeah i mean i kind of [TS]

00:30:09   most admire the bridge over troubled [TS]

00:30:11   water let's just let this hair go crazy [TS]

00:30:13   part but it always weird when somebody's [TS]

00:30:15   enough to make it all about baldness [TS]

00:30:17   always wear to me with somebody called [TS]

00:30:18   for a while then they stopped be [TS]

00:30:19   involved [TS]

00:30:20   hmm you know what I mean there's that [TS]

00:30:22   time we're like okay I'm a guy is going [TS]

00:30:24   bald might try a couple tricks and then [TS]

00:30:26   suddenly like you got hair but let's [TS]

00:30:28   pictures of Paul Simon like on Saturday [TS]

00:30:30   Night Live we had [TS]

00:30:31   like no hair no hair and suddenly he's [TS]

00:30:33   got here he's doing he's doing a pretty [TS]

00:30:35   pretty profound comb-over come forward [TS]

00:30:37   and a lot of those I think you look at [TS]

00:30:39   you look at elton john i was thinking [TS]

00:30:41   about this the other day I saw a picture [TS]

00:30:42   of Elton John in them in a magazine and [TS]

00:30:46   Elton John's John is an age now where [TS]

00:30:49   his face is really starting to go and [TS]

00:30:52   and i was looking at this picture of him [TS]

00:30:54   and I was like oh he is starting to look [TS]

00:30:56   like Queen Elizabeth you know there's a [TS]

00:31:00   certain kind of certain sort of man that [TS]

00:31:03   as he gets older he just starts to look [TS]

00:31:04   like a matron you know we started like [TS]

00:31:06   the Queen Mother even x except that he [TS]

00:31:10   has this he has this hair its little [TS]

00:31:14   furry friend up there it has this hair [TS]

00:31:16   that's like the sort of the wispy like [TS]

00:31:20   red hair that uh that I you know on a [TS]

00:31:23   young Irish lad would have and so I'm [TS]

00:31:26   looking at this picture and I'm erasing [TS]

00:31:27   the hair in my mind and realizing what [TS]

00:31:31   Elton John actually looks like it's like [TS]

00:31:32   Judi Dench he he he he does look like [TS]

00:31:37   Judi Dench he looks like a ball judi [TS]

00:31:39   dench anyway he's a beauty a remarkably [TS]

00:31:40   different looking person if he had just [TS]

00:31:42   let himself go polled and I think maybe [TS]

00:31:45   less of a pop star you know he is we [TS]

00:31:50   have all accepted his hair for the most [TS]

00:31:53   part and it it is it's camouflaging a [TS]

00:31:56   multitude of sense you know that you [TS]

00:31:58   know the poker player daniel negreanu I [TS]

00:32:01   think I think I think you mentioned him [TS]

00:32:03   yeah he's a Canadian poker player I up [TS]

00:32:06   for a long time I want one before I [TS]

00:32:08   eliminated cable TV from my life I used [TS]

00:32:10   to watch hours and hours of televised [TS]

00:32:12   poker [TS]

00:32:13   I don't know why I honestly don't know [TS]

00:32:15   why but i would watch it for hours and [TS]

00:32:18   of all but most poker players i have to [TS]

00:32:20   say when you watch them on TV for very [TS]

00:32:24   long [TS]

00:32:25   you realize like these are terrible [TS]

00:32:26   people these are people these are people [TS]

00:32:29   who would be if they were not [TS]

00:32:31   millionaires from this game they would [TS]

00:32:33   be sleeping on a on a twin size mattress [TS]

00:32:36   with no sheets and they would be just [TS]

00:32:39   just pulling a blanket of dander over [TS]

00:32:41   there [TS]

00:32:42   the winter chill off but now they're [TS]

00:32:45   millionaires and there they haven't done [TS]

00:32:47   anything different insurance i'm sure [TS]

00:32:49   that that a lot of these poker guys they [TS]

00:32:51   have they have one or two changes of [TS]

00:32:52   underwear like they're just [TS]

00:32:54   reprehensible but daniel negreanu is [TS]

00:32:56   this guy from Canada who is kind of it [TS]

00:32:59   he is e he wears his hair he's balding [TS]

00:33:04   guy but he wears his hair pushed forward [TS]

00:33:06   like a in this Greek it [TS]

00:33:10   greek-style out here and uh over the [TS]

00:33:13   years as he's as he's gotten more famous [TS]

00:33:15   and has made more money [TS]

00:33:17   I've watched him go from originally [TS]

00:33:21   he would just comb his hair straight [TS]

00:33:22   forward and then cut it off at his [TS]

00:33:23   eyebrows but he's he has developed a [TS]

00:33:26   style because he's obviously paying [TS]

00:33:28   people to to style his hair now anyway [TS]

00:33:31   he's my favorite this is this looks very [TS]

00:33:32   this is one of those things that like a [TS]

00:33:34   look at beautiful pastry that was [TS]

00:33:37   probably very complicated given what the [TS]

00:33:39   results look like this looks like a lot [TS]

00:33:41   of work with because he eats if I'm [TS]

00:33:43   looking at what you're talking about [TS]

00:33:44   he's obviously a bald man who's doing [TS]

00:33:46   things with his hair [TS]

00:33:47   let's start there and he's got its kind [TS]

00:33:49   of wispy but it's kind of like a fun [TS]

00:33:52   youthful tousled look exactly fun and [TS]

00:33:54   youthful skype later my wife calls this [TS]

00:33:57   the hips to come forward [TS]

00:33:58   yep we have a mutual friend has one of [TS]

00:34:00   these and that it's a look [TS]

00:34:02   it's a look yeah and I get the fact i [TS]

00:34:04   get the sense also that he spends a lot [TS]

00:34:05   of time in Montreal even saying so [TS]

00:34:08   you're going to get a lot of it [TS]

00:34:10   your hair is going to Montreal is a [TS]

00:34:13   place like let's just start with France [TS]

00:34:16   who there are a lot of things you can do [TS]

00:34:18   in France that you can't do anywhere [TS]

00:34:19   else in the world doesn't age as well [TS]

00:34:22   yeah and be a guy be a 40-year old guy [TS]

00:34:24   who dresses like a a a like a what am I [TS]

00:34:29   trying to say like a butt plug [TS]

00:34:35   I if you take that if you take that and [TS]

00:34:38   you translate it to Canada and you put [TS]

00:34:41   it through the Canadian filter where [TS]

00:34:43   everybody in Canada looks like they are [TS]

00:34:45   an extra from an early episode 21 Jump [TS]

00:34:47   Street [TS]

00:34:49   Montreal is the place I think in north [TS]

00:34:52   america with all night really was more [TS]

00:34:53   French than France like hyper french art [TS]

00:34:56   thing they they're so but well they're [TS]

00:35:00   like AI think they're just of their [TS]

00:35:01   permit angry and they're mad they're mad [TS]

00:35:03   at everybody including themselves [TS]

00:35:05   yeah that montreal that Montreal is mad [TS]

00:35:07   there are places in in Quebec and even [TS]

00:35:11   Northern Ontario where they speak french [TS]

00:35:12   were there much matter then in Montreal [TS]

00:35:16   they're mad at montreal for not being [TS]

00:35:18   true enough wow it in the end of in the [TS]

00:35:22   francophone world i think there is a [TS]

00:35:24   sense of as you move away from Paris [TS]

00:35:26   people set people get madder and madder [TS]

00:35:30   about how about how untrue you are and [TS]

00:35:35   and quebec city is mad at montreal [TS]

00:35:38   quebec city feels like Montreal abandon [TS]

00:35:39   them but there are places in Northern [TS]

00:35:41   Ontario which is not so they're outside [TS]

00:35:46   of Quebec but they are french-speaking [TS]

00:35:47   towns and they're just so mad [TS]

00:35:50   they're mad at their mad and everybody [TS]

00:35:52   because they hum what the night was [TS]

00:35:55   we're looking for Dave watered-down the [TS]

00:35:59   language and culture by allowing [TS]

00:36:00   anything and it's not super French no I [TS]

00:36:02   think it's more that they feel that they [TS]

00:36:04   were they were a bit in canada the [TS]

00:36:07   French feel that they were abandoned by [TS]

00:36:09   France to the uncertain fate of first [TS]

00:36:14   England and then canada and so you know [TS]

00:36:18   the the motto of Quebec is Jim suvi ends [TS]

00:36:23   I I will not forget my room I i will [TS]

00:36:28   remember i guess that i think it [TS]

00:36:30   translates roughly as how I'll remember [TS]

00:36:32   yeah right and-and-and-and really really [TS]

00:36:35   I feel like it translates as we will [TS]

00:36:38   never forget how you fucked us [TS]

00:36:41   and it just moves you know they're there [TS]

00:36:43   madd canada because they don't feel part [TS]

00:36:46   of Canada there Superman America because [TS]

00:36:48   we are just the worst but they're also [TS]

00:36:50   mad at France because France abandon [TS]

00:36:52   them and their man at the they're mad at [TS]

00:36:54   the people down the block who have [TS]

00:36:57   english signs out in front of theirs to [TS]

00:36:59   let alone the entire world that size [TS]

00:37:01   them all this problem please the world [TS]

00:37:03   the so sacre bleu [TS]

00:37:07   so anyway the but-but-but-but part of [TS]

00:37:10   that I think the two places in North [TS]

00:37:12   America where you're going to find the [TS]

00:37:13   worst men's fashion or not worst but but [TS]

00:37:17   opportunities for men to dress in ways [TS]

00:37:21   like for instance with hyper distressed [TS]

00:37:24   jeans better than also be dazzled you're [TS]

00:37:28   going to find that in Mexico City and [TS]

00:37:30   yes just related that the canada is the [TS]

00:37:33   is like the pilot for 21 Jump Street [TS]

00:37:36   yeah basically yeah where the where the [TS]

00:37:39   fashions are our what a Hollywood set [TS]

00:37:42   designer in the eighties imagined [TS]

00:37:44   gangbangers war you know like people are [TS]

00:37:49   like oh yeah this is edgy and cool and [TS]

00:37:51   groovy and hip like a lot of gangbangers [TS]

00:37:53   are going to be wearing Mohawks right am [TS]

00:37:56   i right that's what gang bangers do they [TS]

00:37:57   wear Mohawks right okay i can the [TS]

00:38:00   Terminator kind of but a lot of these [TS]

00:38:02   are but a lot of these actors you know [TS]

00:38:03   they have another gig later on in the [TS]

00:38:05   day so we can't give a mohawk so we're [TS]

00:38:07   going to give my fauxhawk with gel so [TS]

00:38:11   they can comb it out and go do the do [TS]

00:38:13   one life to live before the neighboring [TS]

00:38:16   soundstage so it's all this kind of like [TS]

00:38:19   punky edgy but the book but but mostly [TS]

00:38:23   crafted with gel and bleach it's very [TS]

00:38:27   funny [TS]

00:38:28   I don't I don't I don't just like it I [TS]

00:38:30   don't despise that I think it's I think [TS]

00:38:31   that it's there it's like hard to the [TS]

00:38:32   Caribbean the keynote day on the ground [TS]

00:38:34   you is his Canadian yes and I'm trying [TS]

00:38:38   to I'm doing everything I can to learn [TS]

00:38:40   everything I can about him just from the [TS]

00:38:42   google image search [TS]

00:38:43   he doesn't have he doesn't have much of [TS]

00:38:45   a chance honestly now he was he wears [TS]

00:38:47   headphones and it looks like he's [TS]

00:38:49   getting a massage maybe while he's [TS]

00:38:50   playing [TS]

00:38:51   he's wearing the same baseball hats [TS]

00:38:53   advertising something did these guys [TS]

00:38:54   were these guys like Nascar looks like [TS]

00:38:56   they were a lot of things with little [TS]

00:38:58   ads and logos on yeah they figured out [TS]

00:39:00   pretty pretty fast that they were on TV [TS]

00:39:02   and they could make extra cash by [TS]

00:39:06   putting pokerstars.net on their hat what [TS]

00:39:08   is spoken by should just go to the [TS]

00:39:10   internet and find out people people play [TS]

00:39:12   poker on the internet for for real money [TS]

00:39:16   um I had a friend i have a friend who [TS]

00:39:19   decided that he was that this was his [TS]

00:39:21   job he was gonna be a poker internet [TS]

00:39:23   poker player and he'd be playing 25 [TS]

00:39:26   hands at a time and it becomes a traders [TS]

00:39:29   like this guy's you just suddenly decide [TS]

00:39:31   they're kinda seems like easy money [TS]

00:39:33   yeah and and and ultimately i think when [TS]

00:39:35   you're playing twenty hands of poker at [TS]

00:39:37   a time [TS]

00:39:38   you're not invested in anyone of a man [TS]

00:39:39   becomes kind of like playing solitaire [TS]

00:39:41   you're just you're just a you taught [TS]

00:39:45   yourself kind of the odds of all the [TS]

00:39:47   different hands and you're just playing [TS]

00:39:49   the odds and over the course of a whole [TS]

00:39:52   day of doing that you're up you're up by [TS]

00:39:55   fifteen percent or something and that's [TS]

00:39:57   it consists of how did you did he add he [TS]

00:40:00   makes them go off it [TS]

00:40:01   I don't think he's still doing it [TS]

00:40:03   frankly because I think a lot of those a [TS]

00:40:05   lot of them are like 25 cent games I [TS]

00:40:07   don't think gambling would still be [TS]

00:40:08   around if it was that easy to win [TS]

00:40:10   hmm interesting theory well blackjack is [TS]

00:40:14   the only game poker poker is an outlier [TS]

00:40:16   because it has a human factor unlike any [TS]

00:40:19   other game but i guess i'll be back [TS]

00:40:21   around I don't know but I mean blackjack [TS]

00:40:23   is the only game where you have even a [TS]

00:40:24   as i understand it have even the [TS]

00:40:26   slightest chance of winning against the [TS]

00:40:27   house my senses Bacharach is the is the [TS]

00:40:30   one where the odds are best in your [TS]

00:40:32   favor is that right yeah because there's [TS]

00:40:35   because there's a i have stood around [TS]

00:40:38   many baccarat tables and and you know [TS]

00:40:44   elbow the person next to me and gone [TS]

00:40:45   what what what is that what what the [TS]

00:40:48   hell is happening and athletes baffling [TS]

00:40:49   to me and they go well see this line [TS]

00:40:51   over here you can bet against the [TS]

00:40:53   earlier bet and that line over there you [TS]

00:40:57   push the push the [TS]

00:40:59   push the BET to the next bed and then [TS]

00:41:02   that's how you beat the odds because [TS]

00:41:03   ultimately no then then you have 51 [TS]

00:41:05   percent chance of earning something I've [TS]

00:41:08   had it explained to me a dozen times [TS]

00:41:09   I've stood next to a baccarat dealer and [TS]

00:41:12   asked her as she's you know as she's [TS]

00:41:14   doing it and she's rolling the dice [TS]

00:41:16   whatever tell me what you're doing [TS]

00:41:17   explain what's happening and she's like [TS]

00:41:19   here's how it goes it's really simple [TS]

00:41:20   fifth and then she explains some you [TS]

00:41:25   know 15 paragraphs of up of like a space [TS]

00:41:30   math and i'm not going I don't know what [TS]

00:41:34   that was i'm not going to throw my money [TS]

00:41:35   down on a table where I don't understand [TS]

00:41:39   that's how that's probably a pretty good [TS]

00:41:41   ruling gambling if you if you don't [TS]

00:41:43   understand how money is made and lost [TS]

00:41:46   you're better off not to bet here's me [TS]

00:41:47   at a casino I walk into and this is why [TS]

00:41:49   I hate Las Vegas yeah I walk into a [TS]

00:41:51   casino thing doing meaning all kyon ki [TS]

00:41:56   see it's all happening already [TS]

00:41:58   I'm like uh-huh okay i don't want to sit [TS]

00:42:01   over there those people don't look [TS]

00:42:02   interesting that guy's disgusting the [TS]

00:42:05   village and I end up over at the at the [TS]

00:42:08   the slot machines the one-armed bandits [TS]

00:42:12   and I go well I'm here I might as well [TS]

00:42:14   you know and I put five dollars in and [TS]

00:42:18   it goes boom me up and it gives me [TS]

00:42:21   someone number of credits and I pull the [TS]

00:42:23   arm until those are gone and i'm like [TS]

00:42:27   done that's it [TS]

00:42:28   I I spent five dollars and I feel even [TS]

00:42:30   that I didn't get my money's worth and [TS]

00:42:34   then I just sit and watch people smoke [TS]

00:42:36   you know and in fact i have i have a [TS]

00:42:38   pretty good time in casinos because I [TS]

00:42:39   have a pretty good time until i see that [TS]

00:42:42   little old lady with the oxygen tank and [TS]

00:42:45   the and the right popcorn bucket full of [TS]

00:42:48   quarters plugging them into one of those [TS]

00:42:50   things and I'm and then and my heart [TS]

00:42:53   sinks down into my stomach and I'm like [TS]

00:42:55   not have to go now I did a gig in reno a [TS]

00:42:57   couple years ago and then I got there is [TS]

00:43:00   it you know RINO's even Reno [TS]

00:43:03   yeah you don't think it's not just one [TS]

00:43:05   big assistant [TS]

00:43:07   yeah well I got there early and I check [TS]

00:43:09   button you finally get actually I'm [TS]

00:43:11   sorry to get back had to wait to check [TS]

00:43:12   into my room because i'm fucking [TS]

00:43:13   military event was there and motorcycle [TS]

00:43:15   races and all those assholes now well [TS]

00:43:18   like it yeah they hadn't planned well [TS]

00:43:19   for it so there's a lot of movie people [TS]

00:43:21   in line waiting for the roses circus [TS]

00:43:23   circus [TS]

00:43:24   no no this was a tennis anus i think was [TS]

00:43:26   the name of us [TS]

00:43:27   oh yeah it'sit's off-strip the odds are [TS]

00:43:29   a little better there who doesn't get in [TS]

00:43:31   the hole and and so I was I had some [TS]

00:43:33   time to kill someone all I can go over [TS]

00:43:34   here and go to this bar area i'll play a [TS]

00:43:37   little bit of blackjack and I can I can [TS]

00:43:39   smoke here so i'll go and I will smoke [TS]

00:43:40   while I'm waiting for my room and I'll [TS]

00:43:41   have a drink [TS]

00:43:42   this will be fun you know I said okay [TS]

00:43:45   this is good you had it in you travel [TS]

00:43:47   and you know easy when you kind of [TS]

00:43:49   arrived much you through all the main [TS]

00:43:52   part of travel it's kind of nice to just [TS]

00:43:53   relax and be where you are and I was [TS]

00:43:55   like okay this is great i'm gonna get [TS]

00:43:56   into this i'm not gonna be me [TS]

00:43:57   I'm not gonna be all stand back and look [TS]

00:43:59   at it from a removal guy and just be [TS]

00:44:01   here and talk to people and hanging out [TS]

00:44:02   and and it wasn't long before I saw this [TS]

00:44:06   is you know I think probably late [TS]

00:44:08   morning and i saw a woman they're doing [TS]

00:44:11   slots while she rocked a baby seat with [TS]

00:44:15   her right foot blue so get her baby was [TS]

00:44:18   there she was on like one of those [TS]

00:44:19   stools and she's with the right foot [TS]

00:44:22   she's pulling into the right foot she's [TS]

00:44:23   like rocking a baby in a little Marcy do [TS]

00:44:27   yeah I am through from ya i dont time [TS]

00:44:32   did the thing is these guys these [TS]

00:44:34   gambling guys they just think they look [TS]

00:44:36   they look like terrible terrible people [TS]

00:44:38   let's get headphones are you allowed to [TS]

00:44:39   wear headphones while you're playing [TS]

00:44:40   poker I think so i think you can do [TS]

00:44:43   whatever you want because it's a because [TS]

00:44:44   while West but but i might what I like [TS]

00:44:48   about Daniel grant McGraw know is that [TS]

00:44:49   he he has developed his it is developed [TS]

00:44:54   his talent to the to the point that he [TS]

00:44:56   can this is one of his tricks he'll go [TS]

00:44:59   around the table and he'll tell [TS]

00:45:00   everybody what their hand is and he's [TS]

00:45:03   remarkable oh it's a whole nother level [TS]

00:45:06   of bluffing [TS]

00:45:07   yeah you it's remarkable how close he [TS]

00:45:09   can get because he knows he knows the [TS]

00:45:12   cards that have been dealt and he just [TS]

00:45:14   he looks at your face he knows how your [TS]

00:45:16   act [TS]

00:45:16   bring any he what they call puts you on [TS]

00:45:20   a certain hand and I imagine playing [TS]

00:45:23   cards against this guy [TS]

00:45:25   there's nothing illegal about it there's [TS]

00:45:27   nothing illegal about him saying I bet [TS]

00:45:29   you got a king queen don't you and [TS]

00:45:31   you're sitting there with holding a king [TS]

00:45:32   queen imagine trying to play poker [TS]

00:45:36   against that but I say is like two [TS]

00:45:38   levels of blessings on the one hand you [TS]

00:45:40   know it isn't like you're being provoked [TS]

00:45:41   because you can you can sit there with [TS]

00:45:43   your stupid d sunglasses on and stare [TS]

00:45:46   but when somebody says that to you it's [TS]

00:45:48   going to be hard not to have some kind [TS]

00:45:49   of reaction right and and so dead so [TS]

00:45:51   daniel negreanu could have a 24 offsuit [TS]

00:45:54   content but you've got a king queen [TS]

00:45:56   don't you all in and then you're like he [TS]

00:45:58   knows what cards i have and he's going [TS]

00:46:00   all-in he must he must have two aces or [TS]

00:46:04   whatever and then it turns out he he [TS]

00:46:07   didn't know what you had and he was [TS]

00:46:08   bluffing and you're just like so and he [TS]

00:46:11   does it with a kind of Mary he's jesus i [TS]

00:46:13   think he's a small man i can't tell for [TS]

00:46:15   sure but he strikes me as a smaller guy [TS]

00:46:17   and he he just I don't know he says he [TS]

00:46:20   looks like amongst these guys he looks [TS]

00:46:22   like a nice fella he's a little bit of a [TS]

00:46:24   leprechaun I follow him on twitter and I [TS]

00:46:28   don't know it's one of those funny [TS]

00:46:29   things where there aren't many [TS]

00:46:31   celebrities that I said I care about or [TS]

00:46:34   try to attract their attention but i [TS]

00:46:36   have replied to daniel negreanu tweets [TS]

00:46:39   on a set on several occasions hoping [TS]

00:46:42   that he will reply interesting and i [TS]

00:46:47   don't know why i don't know why i care [TS]

00:46:49   about this guy have seen him on TV i [TS]

00:46:50   watch them play poker [TS]

00:46:52   I feel like his mind is working a [TS]

00:46:54   certain way that it is not akin to my [TS]

00:46:56   night it's not a he's he's not a guy [TS]

00:46:59   would maybe even naturally be friends [TS]

00:47:01   with money is my money on the internet [TS]

00:47:04   so silly [TS]

00:47:09   the internet yeah i'm sorry i'm online i [TS]

00:47:14   have to admit I'm a little bit off my [TS]

00:47:15   game because now I'm consumed in these [TS]

00:47:16   pictures of poker players I've been like [TS]

00:47:18   at somebody's house you know it is you [TS]

00:47:20   go to somebody's house and they got the [TS]

00:47:22   TV on [TS]

00:47:23   mm I don't know what this video plastic [TS]

00:47:26   on their cultures they are not back in [TS]

00:47:29   Ohio [TS]

00:47:29   everybody did that but when I was a kid [TS]

00:47:31   you just wouldn't have the TV on when [TS]

00:47:32   somebody came over right now if it's the [TS]

00:47:35   babysitter or something and you've got [TS]

00:47:36   that as like establish TV time that's [TS]

00:47:38   actually kind of a good transitional [TS]

00:47:40   thing but you go to somebody's house to [TS]

00:47:41   get the TV on you know you can't really [TS]

00:47:44   say we did not have the TV on the TV is [TS]

00:47:48   going to be honest and the TV is this is [TS]

00:47:50   the evening and sometimes people you [TS]

00:47:52   know talking about em and and and it'll [TS]

00:47:55   be something poker and I just I i watch [TS]

00:47:58   people watching poker and I'm like the [TS]

00:48:00   joke is to be like watching glitch [TS]

00:48:01   people watching darts you can I think [TS]

00:48:03   I'd rather watch darts easy i don't i [TS]

00:48:05   want all these people who died in a fire [TS]

00:48:07   I don't want any of them to win they [TS]

00:48:08   just are awful people starts at least a [TS]

00:48:11   sport it's absolutely a sport [TS]

00:48:13   yeah well I'm a guy that if I walk into [TS]

00:48:16   a restaurant let's say in an airport or [TS]

00:48:18   anywhere [TS]

00:48:19   yeah where there's a TV on and there's [TS]

00:48:21   no one in the bar [TS]

00:48:23   I just walk around and turn them off [TS]

00:48:25   yeah that is right back the other day [TS]

00:48:27   we're right under that the TV and it was [TS]

00:48:30   like CNN just blaring of course [TS]

00:48:32   yeah i mean if if I can turn them off [TS]

00:48:35   there are some airports now where the [TS]

00:48:37   tvs are it not in the bar but they're [TS]

00:48:39   just throughout the airport absolutely [TS]

00:48:41   every gate [TS]

00:48:43   yeah and the TV just blaring CNN like [TS]

00:48:45   you're saying and oh my god I can't [TS]

00:48:47   think of a worse thing I'm similar Seto [TS]

00:48:49   scared of men are scared to be alone [TS]

00:48:52   this is scared to feel alone Diamond [TS]

00:48:54   Dogs demon dogs [TS]

00:48:56   here's the other thing back around like [TS]

00:48:57   I as a point when I was looking at james [TS]

00:48:59   bond movies and I thought I should learn [TS]

00:49:00   more about background I tried to read [TS]

00:49:02   the wikipedia page i thought this has [TS]

00:49:03   got to be the most confusing thing I've [TS]

00:49:05   ever heard in my life [TS]

00:49:06   now I know you're not at the stage quite [TS]

00:49:08   yet but i want to plant a seed I want to [TS]

00:49:11   hear how it goes when you wear your [TS]

00:49:13   little daughter start doing stuff I want [TS]

00:49:16   to I want to hear you how it goes when [TS]

00:49:17   you try to explain baseball [TS]

00:49:19   oh this with a baseball field right by [TS]

00:49:22   our house and we went out to watch [TS]

00:49:23   baseball and I don't like to be like [TS]

00:49:24   explaining dad that big truck is [TS]

00:49:27   carrying dirt for making the road where [TS]

00:49:29   people who cares about were sitting [TS]

00:49:30   there watching and subscribe to be [TS]

00:49:32   dinner plate is in the sky that big [TS]

00:49:36   truck is carrying tar for the road [TS]

00:49:38   that toner is made out of a cool [TS]

00:49:41   distillate look over there do you see [TS]

00:49:45   that man he's my pole you know how trees [TS]

00:49:49   grow woman oh you doesn't it seem a [TS]

00:49:51   little bit more a little bit warmer you [TS]

00:49:53   wearing a trench coat but you were [TS]

00:49:54   explaining to her well she's in there [TS]

00:49:56   and there's like a baseball game go on a [TS]

00:49:57   really terrible baseball game i think [TS]

00:49:59   only terrible teams play at our park for [TS]

00:50:01   sitting there watching them in there we [TS]

00:50:03   know walking around and I i don't i [TS]

00:50:07   don't want to be explained things [TS]

00:50:08   stupidly to my daughter went dumb things [TS]

00:50:10   down but I tried to explain baseball and [TS]

00:50:12   every for everything that I could [TS]

00:50:14   explain it required either more [TS]

00:50:17   explanation [TS]

00:50:18   yeah and or something that contravenes [TS]

00:50:22   what I just said [TS]

00:50:23   right right right so there's these 90 [TS]

00:50:25   America's game america's pastime [TS]

00:50:28   there's nine there's nine people out [TS]

00:50:29   there and that guy's going to come with [TS]

00:50:30   the bat and so that got pictures gonna [TS]

00:50:32   throw the ball and try to hit it easy [TS]

00:50:34   enough [TS]

00:50:34   okay well if he hits it he has to go [TS]

00:50:36   around all the bases right i don't think [TS]

00:50:38   most baseball fans would would describe [TS]

00:50:40   that as an obligation [TS]

00:50:41   although I guess it is this is delicious [TS]

00:50:43   has to have to he gets to he has wait a [TS]

00:50:47   minute you're saying he had the [TS]

00:50:48   opportunity to run the bases you don't [TS]

00:50:50   have to do anything he doesn't want to [TS]

00:50:52   he doesn't have to but you choose to [TS]

00:50:54   play different positions if you want to [TS]

00:50:55   in baseball [TS]

00:50:56   it seems like it's got a lot of rules [TS]

00:50:58   for example they got they got all the [TS]

00:50:59   different positions you get first [TS]

00:51:00   outfield you know left have different [TS]

00:51:03   talents so first baseman and other [TS]

00:51:05   obstacles just this i know i just i [TS]

00:51:07   think you can have to stand in a certain [TS]

00:51:08   place and stuff and try to explain and [TS]

00:51:10   so they throw the ball and if he but I [TS]

00:51:14   mean how do you explain a foul ball with [TS]

00:51:16   a full count [TS]

00:51:17   mmm those a strike but it wasn't a [TS]

00:51:20   strike right [TS]

00:51:21   ok so that was a strike we'll wait and [TS]

00:51:22   swing at it as well rules [TS]

00:51:25   wait wait wait that's wait hang on a [TS]

00:51:26   minute so there's three balls and I'm [TS]

00:51:28   speaking for my daughter who ya this [TS]

00:51:30   point not be able to take it and [TS]

00:51:31   understand any of this [TS]

00:51:33   so there is why this is why I didn't [TS]

00:51:35   fully understand baseball until I was 32 [TS]

00:51:37   it's incredibly complicated if you [TS]

00:51:39   really think about it but I have the [TS]

00:51:40   advantage for for several years they're [TS]

00:51:42   going to baseball games with our good [TS]

00:51:44   friends Jason Finn and then other times [TS]

00:51:47   with ben gibbard and both of these guys [TS]

00:51:49   are super baseball thing [TS]

00:51:51   Alice adjacent to Jason Jason used to [TS]

00:51:54   score the game's he would he would do [TS]

00:51:56   that thing that old men to make it a [TS]

00:51:58   piece of paper and a piece of been [TS]

00:51:59   offensive and you'd score these fucking [TS]

00:52:01   games and he would explain everything [TS]

00:52:03   that was happening as it was happening [TS]

00:52:04   and it was like me sitting at a [TS]

00:52:06   background table [TS]

00:52:07   I'm like well not now i will now what's [TS]

00:52:10   a balk and he's like well here's the [TS]

00:52:13   thing about a balk hardly ever happens [TS]

00:52:15   but that about and he would explain what [TS]

00:52:17   a balk was and I had to see like 13 [TS]

00:52:20   balks before I kind of got got it you [TS]

00:52:25   know like infield fly rule and all these [TS]

00:52:27   things he also says that Erica but but [TS]

00:52:31   but also I you know what these guys [TS]

00:52:35   communicated to me it was through their [TS]

00:52:36   love of baseball Bob bends and jason [TS]

00:52:39   said that they love baseball in [TS]

00:52:40   different ways but you know they they [TS]

00:52:42   they communicated the kind of like Greek [TS]

00:52:46   drama that baseball is and made me [TS]

00:52:48   understand that you really don't [TS]

00:52:50   understand the game you can't appreciate [TS]

00:52:52   the game unless you're also really [TS]

00:52:55   following the players stories you know [TS]

00:52:57   these guys would come up to bat and I'm [TS]

00:52:59   thinking he's going to hit some [TS]

00:53:01   baseballs thrown at him and then one of [TS]

00:53:03   them is going to either hit or not and [TS]

00:53:05   Jason's like not this guy got called up [TS]

00:53:07   from the minors after 15 years of [TS]

00:53:09   playing triple-a ball and for the new [TS]

00:53:11   zealand you know ocelots and and this is [TS]

00:53:16   a real Cinderella story and I'm like [TS]

00:53:18   cinderella story right I hear that a lot [TS]

00:53:20   what does that mean he's like yeah this [TS]

00:53:22   is amazing this guy here boy here you [TS]

00:53:25   know he had some injuries last season [TS]

00:53:27   and so all that all that extra material [TS]

00:53:30   that they're bringing into the into [TS]

00:53:32   every game where they know the narrative [TS]

00:53:34   of each one of these players right and [TS]

00:53:36   they're bringing that that you know [TS]

00:53:38   they're bringing those narratives into [TS]

00:53:39   it and and all of a sudden you feel like [TS]

00:53:41   oh it's the freaking Iliad to these [TS]

00:53:44   people [TS]

00:53:45   it's like you know here come here you're [TS]

00:53:48   here comes this guy who's from like he's [TS]

00:53:52   a guy who used to play for the opposing [TS]

00:53:55   team and he's coming up and he's back [TS]

00:53:56   home for the first time for sure here's [TS]

00:53:59   a guy that got drafted right out of high [TS]

00:54:01   school and and and I see there are other [TS]

00:54:04   coaches getting [TS]

00:54:05   old and this might be his last you know [TS]

00:54:07   season stuff like that right or this you [TS]

00:54:10   know this picture this is a pitching [TS]

00:54:12   duel and end you and your eat you [TS]

00:54:13   realize like how they are seeing this as [TS]

00:54:16   a clash of titans like the Etruscans [TS]

00:54:19   against the Phoenicians like it isn't it [TS]

00:54:22   isn't just a bunch of dumb overpaid fat [TS]

00:54:24   kids out there running around running [TS]

00:54:27   around a field that's like this is this [TS]

00:54:30   its all full it's all laced with [TS]

00:54:32   metaphor for a true fan over uh and and [TS]

00:54:37   I'm not interested in things I wish I [TS]

00:54:40   could i I totally intellectually [TS]

00:54:41   understand that i feel that way with [TS]

00:54:43   comics but you know and and things like [TS]

00:54:46   TV shows i've gotten into but it's I [TS]

00:54:49   can't get past the fact that you guys [TS]

00:54:50   think that nothing is not the fatter the [TS]

00:54:52   rich it's just it's just it's so I just [TS]

00:54:55   I just cannot get into it and I know you [TS]

00:54:57   don't want to begrudge people liking it [TS]

00:54:59   but i begrudge how much it is forced [TS]

00:55:01   down my throat all the time it drives me [TS]

00:55:02   crazy [TS]

00:55:03   it made me realize that the in my [TS]

00:55:05   private moments walking around the city [TS]

00:55:07   the things that I am enjoying about but [TS]

00:55:11   you know my little private narratives [TS]

00:55:14   are also kind of laced with metaphor and [TS]

00:55:18   full of full of metadata that other [TS]

00:55:22   people don't have access to and you know [TS]

00:55:24   I'm walking around I'm like oh this is [TS]

00:55:26   like the other day I was in an airport [TS]

00:55:27   and it was just I'm just navigating an [TS]

00:55:31   airport which I've done a million times [TS]

00:55:33   and it's late at night on the only [TS]

00:55:34   person there and I wasn't trying to make [TS]

00:55:38   it fun for myself I just started I just [TS]

00:55:42   started having a spy adventure in the [TS]

00:55:45   airport by myself because I don't know [TS]

00:55:47   why because there is no like I'm in the [TS]

00:55:50   airport and a couple of I walk through a [TS]

00:55:52   couple of pneumatic doors and all of a [TS]

00:55:54   sudden I'm all of a sudden I'm trying to [TS]

00:55:57   lose a tail and all of a sudden i am you [TS]

00:56:02   know trying to get some microfiche with [TS]

00:56:04   something something chips off your [TS]

00:56:05   spidey sense and even jokey spidey-sense [TS]

00:56:07   you go oh here we go and what I'm having [TS]

00:56:09   and then I'm having fun and I'm and I'm [TS]

00:56:11   seeing I'm seeing all all the it in all [TS]

00:56:15   the airport hieroglyphics I'm seeing all [TS]

00:56:17   this other [TS]

00:56:18   for information and I'm and I'm [TS]

00:56:20   remembering you know the great the Great [TS]

00:56:23   espionage stories that kind of make up a [TS]

00:56:26   part of my imagination and I'm passing [TS]

00:56:30   the time I guess consuming because [TS]

00:56:32   aren't you also you're looking for means [TS]

00:56:33   if it grass you're looking for who you [TS]

00:56:35   can count on the ball you always you [TS]

00:56:37   when you're at the terminal you're [TS]

00:56:38   figuring out who you're going to take it [TS]

00:56:39   out and you might be able to get on your [TS]

00:56:40   side [TS]

00:56:41   well i'm thinking like okay there's the [TS]

00:56:43   security door watching the watching the [TS]

00:56:45   janitor come and slide his little card [TS]

00:56:48   and the door opens and I realized that [TS]

00:56:50   is the way I'm gonna have to get out of [TS]

00:56:52   here and I so I'm gonna take that [TS]

00:56:54   janitor down and can i yes handoff and I [TS]

00:56:57   never mind one of those uh you know [TS]

00:56:59   cybernetic things and that is that is [TS]

00:57:02   essentially I guess what people are [TS]

00:57:03   doing when they watch baseball [TS]

00:57:05   it's just they're not there they're [TS]

00:57:07   imagination is engaged in a different [TS]

00:57:10   way they have a different paper a [TS]

00:57:11   different set of the different a [TS]

00:57:14   different group of material is going [TS]

00:57:16   into the function machine and that's [TS]

00:57:18   coming out the other side has a [TS]

00:57:20   different at different shapes sausage [TS]

00:57:23   links but really they're just using [TS]

00:57:25   their mind to pass pass the time since [TS]

00:57:28   the game is the game that's happening on [TS]

00:57:30   the field but there's another kind of [TS]

00:57:32   game that's happening in somebody's head [TS]

00:57:33   yesterday I watched 12 pitch ins [TS]

00:57:36   fighting over some bread and I pick a [TS]

00:57:38   side like I want that guy to win right [TS]

00:57:40   right and I turned on the world series [TS]

00:57:43   the other day and I don't care about [TS]

00:57:45   Detroit or San Francisco frankly as a [TS]

00:57:47   penance for sports teams go [TS]

00:57:49   I love them both is six the argument [TS]

00:57:51   here I'll get but ah but I i'm watching [TS]

00:57:54   and i'm like okay i'm rooting for [TS]

00:57:56   Detroit because I feel like Detroit is [TS]

00:57:57   the perennial underdog in everything and [TS]

00:58:00   then there's a the matter the San [TS]

00:58:03   Francisco guys have a story there was a [TS]

00:58:06   guidance from on the San Francisco team [TS]

00:58:09   that literally had spent his entire [TS]

00:58:11   baseball career in the minors and had [TS]

00:58:14   just gotten called up last year as an [TS]

00:58:18   old guy and now he's pitching in the [TS]

00:58:21   world series one year later after how [TS]

00:58:23   the story he's like yeah it's a internet [TS]

00:58:26   it's an incredible cinderella store and [TS]

00:58:29   so i'm watching this thing and every [TS]

00:58:30   time somebody comes up to bat I'm like [TS]

00:58:31   well i hope this [TS]

00:58:32   I wins and I'm the worst sports fan in [TS]

00:58:35   the world I'm like I'm like I'm like [TS]

00:58:37   somebody's girlfriend i hope this guy [TS]

00:58:38   wins I like his hair like their hats [TS]

00:58:41   I hope it's definitely like that with [TS]

00:58:42   the Olympics you know they're always [TS]

00:58:44   trying to insert all this like oh you [TS]

00:58:46   know drove her at 5am yeah swim practice [TS]

00:58:49   every morning [TS]

00:58:50   yeah and a lot of those lot of those [TS]

00:58:52   Olympic montages what I come away from [TS]

00:58:55   it with his like oh you know what [TS]

00:58:58   terrible parents [TS]

00:58:59   he can't mention that they really do [TS]

00:59:02   that like the girl that won the combined [TS]

00:59:04   gymnastics thing it's like well we [TS]

00:59:06   wanted her to succeed at this so we sent [TS]

00:59:08   her away [TS]

00:59:09   I haven't seen my daughter in two years [TS]

00:59:11   because she's benefits gymnastics school [TS]

00:59:13   in Iowa I can't afford to go there so [TS]

00:59:15   I'm here working to make the money just [TS]

00:59:18   to pay for her to be at this gymnastics [TS]

00:59:20   place right now I don't get too serious [TS]

00:59:22   she's only 13 or something and I was [TS]

00:59:24   like I didn't feel like they were [TS]

00:59:26   terrible parents but I just felt like [TS]

00:59:27   wow weird like weird priorities [TS]

00:59:31   yeah that's because things like running [TS]

00:59:32   fast by themselves are not that [TS]

00:59:34   interesting but this girl won all these [TS]

00:59:36   Olympic medals and the rest of her life [TS]

00:59:37   shall be the one that won all those [TS]

00:59:39   Olympic medals he meet her party will be [TS]

00:59:41   a little envious [TS]

00:59:42   you know it's like having an Emmy and he [TS]

00:59:45   got it Anita she's basically the Olympic [TS]

00:59:47   he got i think i do something similar to [TS]

00:59:49   this day I had never thought about [TS]

00:59:50   thought about in this way until now and [TS]

00:59:53   our boyfriend's got simpsons pointed [TS]

00:59:55   this out to me that I'm I'm kind of [TS]

00:59:57   suspicious guy like I'm always trying to [TS]

00:59:59   notice [TS]

00:59:59   notice [TS]

01:00:00   like what's not quite right here why did [TS]

01:00:02   I decide to do it that way or and I do [TS]

01:00:05   this constantly and I don't even really [TS]

01:00:07   think about it and I definitely think [TS]

01:00:09   about how weird it is until I find [TS]

01:00:10   myself saying it to somebody else [TS]

01:00:12   mhm it could be something like it's kind [TS]

01:00:14   of weird they bust all the tables in [TS]

01:00:16   this place twice but they haven't plus [TS]

01:00:18   that table yet one that is and then I [TS]

01:00:20   start thinking about well maybe the [TS]

01:00:21   Busboys mad at that waiter maybe they're [TS]

01:00:24   expecting the person come back and and [TS]

01:00:26   then I know I'm suddenly on the spot [TS]

01:00:27   right so I'm always noticing things in [TS]

01:00:30   my in my room in Seattle [TS]

01:00:32   hmm that's interesting it used to be you [TS]

01:00:34   always had many bars in rooms and now [TS]

01:00:36   you don't see many bars very much [TS]

01:00:37   anymore they have a refrigerator in here [TS]

01:00:39   but not a minibar I wonder why they did [TS]

01:00:40   that [TS]

01:00:41   is it because it's it was just people [TS]

01:00:43   were asking for reversals on charges [TS]

01:00:46   it was too costly to restock with their [TS]

01:00:48   liability problems and now suddenly got [TS]

01:00:49   an hour later I wake up you know in a [TS]

01:00:51   cold sweat and I've been thinking about [TS]

01:00:52   this thing for an hour and that right so [TS]

01:00:54   for me I I'm very sympathetic walking [TS]

01:00:56   around an airport IC IC especially in an [TS]

01:00:59   airport you know because you got nothing [TS]

01:01:00   better to do [TS]

01:01:01   yeah you just like getting no no you [TS]

01:01:03   just you're gonna like fine little games [TS]

01:01:04   for yourself [TS]

01:01:05   one thing about airports is there is [TS]

01:01:07   that there is that under class of people [TS]

01:01:08   who are in the airport all the time they [TS]

01:01:11   work there who is not i would even say [TS]

01:01:13   underclass but there they are a [TS]

01:01:14   sub-class to the like the airport fills [TS]

01:01:18   up with people it was those other from [TS]

01:01:20   Middle Earth but there but here's that [TS]

01:01:22   here are these people who are always [TS]

01:01:23   here and you don't notice them it's like [TS]

01:01:25   it's like a at this at the public market [TS]

01:01:28   i remember i was down at the public [TS]

01:01:30   market here in Seattle with with [TS]

01:01:33   somebody who's visiting and there was a [TS]

01:01:37   native american guy who was panhandling [TS]

01:01:40   kind of right in the middle of the [TS]

01:01:42   market and this person said oh my God [TS]

01:01:45   look at that it's a real Indian [TS]

01:01:48   [Music] [TS]

01:01:49   and I said here surrounded by Indians [TS]

01:01:55   here in Seattle there are Native [TS]

01:01:57   Americans all over the city and they're [TS]

01:02:00   like what really [TS]

01:02:01   and I said yeah you're not seeing them [TS]

01:02:03   and we stood there in the market and [TS]

01:02:06   looked around and I was like look over [TS]

01:02:09   there see right there and all of a [TS]

01:02:11   sudden they became aware that they were [TS]

01:02:14   Native Americans all around us and they [TS]

01:02:18   just had never had never that they had [TS]

01:02:23   they had grown used to because of [TS]

01:02:25   wherever they grew up or however it is [TS]

01:02:27   that this happens but they just didn't [TS]

01:02:29   see Native Americans because they had a [TS]

01:02:32   sense that any time they saw a Native [TS]

01:02:34   American that person was going to be [TS]

01:02:36   either panhandling memor or judging them [TS]

01:02:41   wherever your head yes if there was some [TS]

01:02:43   there was some thing about Indians in [TS]

01:02:46   America that made them uncomfortable and [TS]

01:02:48   so they just stopped seeing them and you [TS]

01:02:53   know you can't you can't spend five [TS]

01:02:54   minutes in seattle downtown without [TS]

01:02:56   realizing that that this is kind of a a [TS]

01:02:59   place where Native American culture is [TS]

01:03:02   existing simultaneous with Seattle [TS]

01:03:04   culture but in a way like a separate and [TS]

01:03:09   and people just don't they just change [TS]

01:03:12   their the focus of their eyes a little [TS]

01:03:13   bit and they don't they don't see them [TS]

01:03:15   and it's the same in airports there are [TS]

01:03:17   people in airports that are there all [TS]

01:03:19   the alt all the time and you don't see [TS]

01:03:21   them you're looking for your gate you're [TS]

01:03:22   looking around you don't realize that [TS]

01:03:25   there's this other culture happening [TS]

01:03:27   that's always there [TS]

01:03:30   well utilize if you're like oh hello and [TS]

01:03:33   you always think about it of course from [TS]

01:03:35   your point of view so the things that I [TS]

01:03:36   first noticed a lot when i first visited [TS]

01:03:38   San Francisco 1997 versus what I noticed [TS]

01:03:41   now are really different and this is [TS]

01:03:43   really psych 101 stuff but i think it's [TS]

01:03:45   incredibly interesting [TS]

01:03:46   you don't even see the vomit you can I I [TS]

01:03:49   the thing is I I don't even notice the [TS]

01:03:51   poop i walk around the poop without even [TS]

01:03:52   seeing it now I know it's there but you [TS]

01:03:55   know again like my spidey sense but but [TS]

01:03:57   I mean this is one way to start feeling [TS]

01:03:59   a little bit more alive in life is to [TS]

01:04:01   realize how much [TS]

01:04:02   stuff you chunked you know you agree [TS]

01:04:07   chunking and heuristics and algorithms [TS]

01:04:09   account for so much of our existence [TS]

01:04:12   that if we were to really stop and think [TS]

01:04:13   about it it would blow your mind [TS]

01:04:16   how many things you've jumped like a [TS]

01:04:18   great example of my daughter and I go [TS]

01:04:19   away from streetcar there's a multi [TS]

01:04:21   multi multi-ton vehicle like you go to [TS]

01:04:24   wait for a BART train there's there's [TS]

01:04:26   something flying by you at like 40 miles [TS]

01:04:28   an hour [TS]

01:04:29   this joint and you're like four feet [TS]

01:04:30   away from that like what kind of [TS]

01:04:31   frontier guy would feel good like [TS]

01:04:33   standing next to a giant piece of metal [TS]

01:04:34   flying by 40 miles an hour you have a [TS]

01:04:36   bitumen yourself to that because it [TS]

01:04:38   hasn't jumped off the track and killed [TS]

01:04:39   you yet [TS]

01:04:39   right right that's more than I mean the [TS]

01:04:41   whole bunch of these where think about [TS]

01:04:42   the way you drive to work now in your [TS]

01:04:43   case you don't have a job and you always [TS]

01:04:45   drive a different route so that's just [TS]

01:04:47   in and of itself makes you more alive [TS]

01:04:49   but I mean and I think that's what [TS]

01:04:50   happens with me and this is my own [TS]

01:04:52   probably mental illness and it's why I'm [TS]

01:04:53   very sympathetic to crazy people is I I [TS]

01:04:56   sometimes wonder what's the pattern here [TS]

01:04:58   that I haven't seen yet [TS]

01:04:59   that's i'm really i'm almost obsessed by [TS]

01:05:03   that like why did you choose them like a [TS]

01:05:06   marketing message why did you choose to [TS]

01:05:08   put that ad in this place with that [TS]

01:05:10   wording of course a lot of this probably [TS]

01:05:12   means next to nothing because it's just [TS]

01:05:13   a bunch of idiots probably but I I don't [TS]

01:05:15   know I I my life gets better if I let [TS]

01:05:19   myself slip away some of the chunking [TS]

01:05:21   and re-experience that and sometimes [TS]

01:05:22   that's what travel is you know I want to [TS]

01:05:25   get beyond the airport even but you go [TS]

01:05:27   somewhere and you try and see something [TS]

01:05:30   a new including yourself and that means [TS]

01:05:33   instead of saying well here's all the [TS]

01:05:35   things here that are weird and here's [TS]

01:05:37   all the things that I can't get here [TS]

01:05:39   right right you know there's other [TS]

01:05:40   things I can get but don't want and [TS]

01:05:42   here's all the things that I want but [TS]

01:05:43   can't get Tim's Tim's biscuits wonder [TS]

01:05:46   what that's a chatty chatty room where [TS]

01:05:49   they call that to drink it [TS]

01:05:51   that's a tea drink it i I don't know why [TS]

01:05:53   this is and I because this isn't true of [TS]

01:05:56   anybody else in my family I don't know [TS]

01:05:57   why why I'm like this but I do [TS]

01:06:00   everything I can to break my own [TS]

01:06:02   patterns every day like I know when I [TS]

01:06:05   put a cup of coffee in the microwave [TS]

01:06:07   I never cheated for the same amount of [TS]

01:06:09   time no way [TS]

01:06:11   yeah because Manuel you [TS]

01:06:12   manually choose be a lot of times well [TS]

01:06:15   one minute two seconds i had when i met [TS]

01:06:18   my daughter's milk in the morning I've [TS]

01:06:19   got down to a science because i realize [TS]

01:06:21   we have a quick minute button right [TS]

01:06:23   quick if i get about like Alec the I [TS]

01:06:25   feel like the quick minute button is the [TS]

01:06:27   is the enemy [TS]

01:06:28   holy shit on vichy of consciousness I'm [TS]

01:06:30   you know what I'm complicit because what [TS]

01:06:32   I do is I I know here's the thing [TS]

01:06:34   it used to be that I would go to didn't [TS]

01:06:37   get it set for like 52 seconds or [TS]

01:06:38   whatever I said wait a minute if I had a [TS]

01:06:40   little bit more milk to this cup I can [TS]

01:06:42   go i can hit clear quick minute and on i [TS]

01:06:46   hit tip right number three buttons and [TS]

01:06:48   I'm making milk [TS]

01:06:49   there you go all right but I'm a little [TS]

01:06:51   less alive aren't I well this is this is [TS]

01:06:53   why I take a different route into town [TS]

01:06:55   every day [TS]

01:06:56   partly had at well just want to lose the [TS]

01:06:58   tail right so much we said too much but [TS]

01:07:00   i but i also like in the process of [TS]

01:07:03   taking a different route to town every [TS]

01:07:05   day I've been down every Street in the [TS]

01:07:07   city and you know there are there are [TS]

01:07:10   there are your accruing accidental [TS]

01:07:13   benefit all the time from breaking your [TS]

01:07:16   own pattern Andrew and I you know the [TS]

01:07:19   pediatrician when my daughter was born [TS]

01:07:21   said you know children really like [TS]

01:07:23   patterns they like regimented sort of [TS]

01:07:26   thing they like to the dependable day [TS]

01:07:28   who as though this was like you know [TS]

01:07:31   this was a pediatric 101 and i said to [TS]

01:07:36   her i was like well that's just not [TS]

01:07:38   going to happen [TS]

01:07:39   um so we're going to have to if this is [TS]

01:07:43   true if kids like this kind of certainty [TS]

01:07:47   then we're gonna have to find a [TS]

01:07:49   different way to to to impress upon her [TS]

01:07:52   that things are certain in life but i'm [TS]

01:07:56   not i'm not going to make her this make [TS]

01:07:59   her breakfast at the same hour every day [TS]

01:08:01   it's just never going to happen and that [TS]

01:08:03   little bit of pushback the pediatrician [TS]

01:08:06   was like oh well I'm sure that's fine [TS]

01:08:08   too [TS]

01:08:09   I was like oh it's another example of [TS]

01:08:11   people saying shit where they don't they [TS]

01:08:13   and they don't mean it [TS]

01:08:14   there's no no like real basis for that [TS]

01:08:16   or even if there is I mean that she read [TS]

01:08:18   450 papers written that represent the [TS]

01:08:24   450 different studies that people have [TS]

01:08:25   done that have come to this conclusion [TS]

01:08:28   turns out but turns turns out they're [TS]

01:08:31   just a bunch of studies that people did [TS]

01:08:33   on some group of kids in a room it [TS]

01:08:35   doesn't mean anything [TS]

01:08:36   every person is individual and you might [TS]

01:08:39   have you might have 400 kids at all like [TS]

01:08:42   they're there Elmo doll given to them at [TS]

01:08:46   the same minute of the day because there [TS]

01:08:47   Elmo dolls always been given to them at [TS]

01:08:49   the same minute of every day my daughter [TS]

01:08:50   is almost too and she has she has so far [TS]

01:08:55   exhibited no adverse effects to living a [TS]

01:08:58   life that is almost one hundred percent [TS]

01:09:00   spontaneous and try to on you try to [TS]

01:09:03   push the envelope I mean is it a [TS]

01:09:05   different sized Elmo different color i [TS]

01:09:06   missing and then back i mean if you I [TS]

01:09:08   don't i'm not i'm not yet experimenting [TS]

01:09:11   on her in that way although its [TS]

01:09:13   underlying off so will surely come but [TS]

01:09:15   you know what [TS]

01:09:15   when she's ready to go to bed it's [TS]

01:09:17   obvious and when she's ready to wake up [TS]

01:09:20   we all wake up like I i remember i would [TS]

01:09:22   we went to buy a car from a from a gal [TS]

01:09:24   who just had a this is this was back [TS]

01:09:27   when i was buying a lot of cars [TS]

01:09:29   she just had a baby and she had a couple [TS]

01:09:32   of older kids and we were buying her car [TS]

01:09:35   and her her new son was like what a [TS]

01:09:39   week-old something like that we were [TS]

01:09:41   like wow that must have that must really [TS]

01:09:43   change things for you I mean that's [TS]

01:09:44   leave gotta you've got a couple of boys [TS]

01:09:46   you know one's five and 13 and they got [TS]

01:09:49   this little one its root must really [TS]

01:09:51   gives you know must be like crazy times [TS]

01:09:54   right now and she said about the infant [TS]

01:09:56   yeah well he's got a couple more weeks [TS]

01:09:59   where he's kinda can do his own thing [TS]

01:10:01   but then he's gotta get on our schedule [TS]

01:10:03   and I was like whoa haha yeah yeah [TS]

01:10:09   couple of weeks to you know just be a [TS]

01:10:12   two week old and he's gonna have to get [TS]

01:10:15   on their schedule and and I think [TS]

01:10:18   there's a lot of people live that way [TS]

01:10:19   you know you gotta get on my schedule so [TS]

01:10:21   but on the other hand tu you i-i've like [TS]

01:10:24   I'm hearing two things here are you [TS]

01:10:26   saying that you you're not going to [TS]

01:10:28   create and Hugh to a baby centric [TS]

01:10:32   schedule correct [TS]

01:10:34   oh no no I i well [TS]

01:10:37   I i went the other way I think I think I [TS]

01:10:40   think we all went the other way which [TS]

01:10:41   was that I don't have a schedule so it's [TS]

01:10:43   the baby schedule right baby schedule [TS]

01:10:46   one hundred percent for the first year [TS]

01:10:48   for life and now her schedule is when [TS]

01:10:52   she's with me [TS]

01:10:53   it is whatever happens and when she's [TS]

01:10:56   with her nana of course [TS]

01:10:58   mana is on a schedule oprah is nana is a [TS]

01:11:01   is a lady who is on a she's he's got a [TS]

01:11:05   dog that needs walk she has beautiful [TS]

01:11:07   beautiful garden to keep up [TS]

01:11:09   yeah and she's on I mean she's on a much [TS]

01:11:11   more of a schedule than that I mean Anna [TS]

01:11:12   is on a schedule where she is rotating [TS]

01:11:14   condiments and stuff where it's like oh [TS]

01:11:17   it's march six teeth huh that's not a [TS]

01:11:21   new zesty Italian that's the day when [TS]

01:11:23   the tartar sauce moves from the top [TS]

01:11:25   shelf of the door of the refrigerator to [TS]

01:11:27   the middle shelf because you got to keep [TS]

01:11:29   everything on it [TS]

01:11:30   everything's going to happen i have such [TS]

01:11:32   a funny you know it's easy to become a [TS]

01:11:35   smug parent because that's it's right [TS]

01:11:36   there in the name parent you are you [TS]

01:11:38   become smug but when you hear people who [TS]

01:11:40   are you know you know you can like [TS]

01:11:42   scheduled a c-section and stuff like [TS]

01:11:43   that and not for medical reasons but [TS]

01:11:45   just because it fits your schedule [TS]

01:11:47   yeah yeah I mean you know whatever I [TS]

01:11:49   teaches own but it is funny to me when [TS]

01:11:50   somebody has that kind of attitude of [TS]

01:11:53   like well we're just gonna you know get [TS]

01:11:55   this as though it's a puppy who will [TS]

01:11:57   eventually learn about the paper [TS]

01:12:00   well you can't have parent without [TS]

01:12:02   errant whoa right and I sometimes forget [TS]

01:12:07   how much you're here to help pair [TS]

01:12:10   read em and let you know it's like yeah [TS]

01:12:19   you know what they would have everything [TS]

01:12:20   planned out you want to have everything [TS]

01:12:21   all squared away and it's like they're [TS]

01:12:24   just you know especially when the baby's [TS]

01:12:26   little yeah you know I think a lot about [TS]

01:12:28   the game and dogs mechanics just how [TS]

01:12:31   line with their red eyes they're just [TS]

01:12:32   nipping at your heels and i slept pretty [TS]

01:12:35   well last night but I still feel a [TS]

01:12:36   little bit out of it today i did some [TS]

01:12:38   stuff this morning someone little [TS]

01:12:39   confused [TS]

01:12:40   well sometimes sometimes getting a good [TS]

01:12:42   night's sleep can actually make you a [TS]

01:12:44   real fuzzball [TS]

01:12:46   oh this is working through difficulties [TS]

01:12:48   were going through a sleeping right now [TS]

01:12:50   she's a like well anyway I came back [TS]

01:12:52   from from our trip we should some point [TS]

01:12:54   talk about our think probably should [TS]

01:12:56   because it might be one really well I [TS]

01:12:58   like you too [TS]

01:12:59   yeah I don't you were amazing see you [TS]

01:13:02   really were your truth teller you you [TS]

01:13:03   wouldn't you wouldn't say this time [TS]

01:13:05   young was you i would not bullshit you [TS]

01:13:07   would avoid it [TS]

01:13:08   your your game changing that you did the [TS]

01:13:12   game-changing that you accomplished I [TS]

01:13:14   mean you changed a lot of games that [TS]

01:13:15   night and I was proud of I was proud to [TS]

01:13:18   be on stage with us proud to share the [TS]

01:13:19   stage with you [TS]

01:13:20   well you called me and i remember i said [TS]

01:13:22   the same thing an email you don't [TS]

01:13:24   believe you coming fact I said gay get [TS]

01:13:26   you coming yeah yeah nice anymore [TS]

01:13:28   fingers like let's say please use that [TS]

01:13:30   turntable last word [TS]

01:13:31   yeah it's yeah I feel similar ask why we [TS]

01:13:33   should talk about it we should we should [TS]

01:13:34   just about that a little bit later but [TS]

01:13:36   all i want to say they came back I was [TS]

01:13:37   tired I could tell us get the stress mom [TS]

01:13:38   the night before last [TS]

01:13:40   ah you know sometimes i'm usually [TS]

01:13:42   superdad hundred percent attention [TS]

01:13:44   don't look at the phone don't do [TS]

01:13:46   anything you know and I think in some [TS]

01:13:47   ways that's been a not great thing in [TS]

01:13:49   some ways because that means whenever [TS]

01:13:50   dads around with you play with that but [TS]

01:13:52   that's the playground off work forever [TS]

01:13:53   more or wherever you know what i mean [TS]

01:13:55   but it was like five o'clock two days [TS]

01:13:57   ago and I was like you know what we're [TS]

01:13:59   gonna read a little bit and then we're [TS]

01:14:00   going to lay down i'm going to sleep [TS]

01:14:02   you may either go to sleep with me or [TS]

01:14:03   you can go in another room and be [TS]

01:14:05   extremely quiet and she ended up falling [TS]

01:14:07   asleep and she slept like 830 mhm so of [TS]

01:14:10   course now she goes to bed at ten as you [TS]

01:14:13   probably know from how this stuff goes [TS]

01:14:14   now that throws everything off thats not [TS]

01:14:16   even you can't Bank up sleep with a kid [TS]

01:14:18   right it throws off the clock [TS]

01:14:21   it's when you tell you trying to tell [TS]

01:14:22   you you're single I'm not single but [TS]

01:14:24   you're on one of childless friends about [TS]

01:14:27   something called sleep hygiene they roll [TS]

01:14:29   their eyes and think you're being on [TS]

01:14:30   Northern California but your kids not [TS]

01:14:32   sleeping everybody's fucked right it [TS]

01:14:34   really i mean somebody's going to bear [TS]

01:14:36   the brunt of that there's going to be [TS]

01:14:37   some caregiver that has to to deal with [TS]

01:14:40   when there's not sleep in place and so [TS]

01:14:43   that's why I think it's funny when [TS]

01:14:43   people are like have these ideas they [TS]

01:14:45   read a book or something and they're [TS]

01:14:46   like all y'all we're gonna get them on [TS]

01:14:47   the gator game on the schedule of of [TS]

01:14:50   this and that and especially when the [TS]

01:14:51   little it's just that's it it's really [TS]

01:14:53   weird it's like trying to train a brick [TS]

01:14:56   you know it's it's like you really think [TS]

01:14:57   that's gonna work i mean you're gonna [TS]

01:14:58   like you're just gonna frustrate both of [TS]

01:15:00   you and [TS]

01:15:01   not necessarily going to make it better [TS]

01:15:02   I think you provide favorable conditions [TS]

01:15:04   i can't i'm not sure if he said he said [TS]

01:15:07   this recorded this is my friend Jeff [TS]

01:15:09   Dean once in the way he has approach to [TS]

01:15:11   design is to make it easy to do the [TS]

01:15:13   right thing right and I'm not believe in [TS]

01:15:15   this so i think if you create instead of [TS]

01:15:17   telling your child to be honest [TS]

01:15:19   instead create conditions in which it's [TS]

01:15:21   hard to be anything but to want to be [TS]

01:15:23   anything but honest right if you want to [TS]

01:15:25   create if you want to get to sleep [TS]

01:15:27   create a condition where it's easy to [TS]

01:15:29   sleep in the way that you want which [TS]

01:15:31   sounds subtle but i think that's really [TS]

01:15:33   really different from go get in bed now [TS]

01:15:34   is creating stress because now daddy [TS]

01:15:37   schedule says it's time for you it's 725 [TS]

01:15:39   so it's time for you to go be in bed and [TS]

01:15:41   if it's 726 now we're both mad [TS]

01:15:43   yeah there's a there's one there's one [TS]

01:15:45   bone of contention in my family right [TS]

01:15:47   now which is that sometimes I feel like [TS]

01:15:51   baby has to sit on Daddy's lap oh and [TS]

01:15:54   sometimes baby doesn't want to sit on [TS]

01:15:56   Daddy's lap she wants to get down [TS]

01:15:59   uh-huh and I say and the end and there [TS]

01:16:02   are a lot of people in my family who [TS]

01:16:04   feel like baby should be allowed to do [TS]

01:16:05   whatever she wants and I said they had [TS]

01:16:09   their chance i say this is this is true [TS]

01:16:11   baby has sometimes in the day when she [TS]

01:16:13   was allowed to do whatever she wants but [TS]

01:16:14   there are times and this is one of them [TS]

01:16:17   one baby needs to just sit on Daddy's [TS]

01:16:18   lap because and this is what i always [TS]

01:16:22   come I always come back to what if we [TS]

01:16:26   are in a hidden train compartment and [TS]

01:16:31   the Gestapo is checking documents does [TS]

01:16:35   baby get to get down and run around so [TS]

01:16:37   like what you like Darion like a like [TS]

01:16:40   hiding in the floor type situation [TS]

01:16:41   exactly you have limited space and it is [TS]

01:16:44   a this John hate to keep bringing this [TS]

01:16:46   up by the last episode of mash it just [TS]

01:16:48   keeps bringing me back the last episode [TS]

01:16:49   of mesh they're sitting there in the bus [TS]

01:16:52   they're about to be discovered by the [TS]

01:16:53   North Koreans em all right and and and [TS]

01:16:57   they're in the back on this bus full of [TS]

01:16:59   the civilians and hot guys there and [TS]

01:17:01   this baby remember the baby the baby the [TS]

01:17:04   baby the baby's crying and crying and [TS]

01:17:05   crying and that's revealing that [TS]

01:17:08   position [TS]

01:17:09   yeah now that that is that with much [TS]

01:17:11   respect to to a simple village woman [TS]

01:17:13   never rehearse that no she had not she [TS]

01:17:17   had raised a baby that thought it was [TS]

01:17:18   okay to just go to a baby once that's [TS]

01:17:20   right that's right am I on the right [TS]

01:17:21   track here this year preparing for [TS]

01:17:22   something much larger than having a [TS]

01:17:24   healthy child [TS]

01:17:25   well this is what happened in that [TS]

01:17:26   terrible Quentin Tarantino movie The the [TS]

01:17:29   one where they shoot Hitler in the face [TS]

01:17:30   400 times how the the angry chisme you [TS]

01:17:33   have a baby under those the baby under [TS]

01:17:35   the house makes a sound oh so here's the [TS]

01:17:39   thing if you have a baby you need to [TS]

01:17:41   prepare that openings that opening [TS]

01:17:43   selling that was great it was a great [TS]

01:17:44   opening sequence the rest of the movie [TS]

01:17:46   was a particular age for shit but the [TS]

01:17:48   beginning opening sequence could have [TS]

01:17:49   been a whole thing that was very well [TS]

01:17:50   done but uh but so so my contention is [TS]

01:17:55   and I have to I have to hold have to [TS]

01:17:58   hold the women in my clan back with a [TS]

01:18:00   saber well I'm holding baby on my lab [TS]

01:18:03   because they because babies crying and [TS]

01:18:05   they want to make it better and so I [TS]

01:18:08   keep them at bay with a saber in one [TS]

01:18:10   hand and with the other hand I just say [TS]

01:18:12   behold your daughter fast I said baby [TS]

01:18:14   let's say you're too young to understand [TS]

01:18:18   this but let's say there's Gestapo [TS]

01:18:20   searching this farmhouse we do not this [TS]

01:18:23   is not the time to play this is the few [TS]

01:18:25   minutes where you just sit quietly on [TS]

01:18:27   Daddy's lap and she fights and screams [TS]

01:18:30   and yells and I'm like fighting [TS]

01:18:32   screaming yellow you like but when that [TS]

01:18:34   moment comes we will be ready we will be [TS]

01:18:36   trained so this is so you don't think [TS]

01:18:40   about this thing about how you train a [TS]

01:18:41   police dog first of all i gotta say John [TS]

01:18:43   I'm going to start doing this today and [TS]

01:18:45   I some and more often than not will [TS]

01:18:46   probably be that you need to go in [TS]

01:18:47   another room be extremely quiet because [TS]

01:18:48   the Gestapo might be coming [TS]

01:18:50   that's right I'm but you know it if you [TS]

01:18:53   train police dog [TS]

01:18:55   you don't just take the dog into a like [TS]

01:19:00   a drug house and have it smell for drugs [TS]

01:19:02   in the house right you do all kinds of [TS]

01:19:04   things you have used to all this [TS]

01:19:06   training first of all you've got to [TS]

01:19:07   train the dog to like be a police dog in [TS]

01:19:09   general you gotta follow orders and then [TS]

01:19:11   don't you let the stuff we haven't [TS]

01:19:12   sniffed things in a field and it has to [TS]

01:19:14   text off and you're introducing things [TS]

01:19:16   and getting more subtle subtle subtle [TS]

01:19:17   yeah it has to be it has to be on voice [TS]

01:19:20   command because you can't have a police [TS]

01:19:21   dog that's just that's just that's just [TS]

01:19:24   by don't just throw it bag of weed and [TS]

01:19:25   take you to the airport [TS]

01:19:26   it did some training [TS]

01:19:27   yes it does and that's what you're doing [TS]

01:19:29   it seems to me that what you're doing is [TS]

01:19:30   you're doing the you're doing a kind of [TS]

01:19:32   I don't know allied power parenting [TS]

01:19:34   yeah that's right and then Anna think [TS]

01:19:37   anybody gives a way that train it's not [TS]

01:19:38   going to be your daughter and she she is [TS]

01:19:41   understanding that in her whole life [TS]

01:19:43   there's only one person that is that [TS]

01:19:49   drug that ultimately caused a big line [TS]

01:19:52   the fatline for the saber the fatline [TS]

01:19:55   with the slaver in those in the sand [TS]

01:19:56   which is there is nothing now that you [TS]

01:20:00   can say or do nothing that anyone can [TS]

01:20:02   say or do that will divert me from this [TS]

01:20:06   project of you sitting quietly on my lap [TS]

01:20:08   you could set yourself on fire and I [TS]

01:20:12   would hold you in my lap until you've [TS]

01:20:14   burned to a cinder [TS]

01:20:16   I will kill your mother and my own [TS]

01:20:20   mother with this saber rather than let [TS]

01:20:22   you get off my lap [TS]

01:20:25   does everyone understand good that you [TS]

01:20:29   sent you send a very clear message about [TS]

01:20:31   how this is gonna work [TS]

01:20:32   that's right now let's also quietly and [TS]

01:20:34   let the Gestapo pass and it is very hard [TS]

01:20:41   for everyone to to to swallow this [TS]

01:20:43   bitter pill which is why I carry a saber [TS]

01:20:47   every father should every father should [TS]

01:20:53   be AI think its own United I talked [TS]

01:20:55   about the guy went to school with who he [TS]

01:20:57   sold sold Snickers bars and and bottom [TS]

01:21:00   Marshall amp this time if I told you [TS]

01:21:02   this but the other part that his dad his [TS]

01:21:04   dad was the head of the k-9 unit at our [TS]

01:21:09   Sheriff's Department have attorneys [TS]

01:21:11   right [TS]

01:21:12   ok so it's Phil's dad who really really [TS]

01:21:15   cool interesting guy [TS]

01:21:17   i I don't know that's like I learned a [TS]

01:21:19   lot from this guy he was he was a really [TS]

01:21:21   cool really smart guy and and so he's in [TS]

01:21:23   charge of all of the guys who have dogs [TS]

01:21:25   and do dog police stuff and apparently I [TS]

01:21:29   mean he said any kind of interesting [TS]

01:21:32   things but the one that really stuck [TS]

01:21:33   with me was you know first of all these [TS]

01:21:35   dogs go and live with the police officer [TS]

01:21:38   yeah like it's [TS]

01:21:39   it's not their pet but I mean that they [TS]

01:21:41   have to have a very strong bond oh [TS]

01:21:43   they're bonded right right but there's a [TS]

01:21:46   lot of in and so then after it's a weird [TS]

01:21:49   thing because they're not just watching [TS]

01:21:50   the dogs are also watching the dude [TS]

01:21:51   because these are fucking Rottweilers [TS]

01:21:53   yeah [TS]

01:21:53   Rottweilers and what Phil's dad would [TS]

01:21:55   say to me is that I i am getting old i [TS]

01:21:59   think i'm repeating myself but he said [TS]

01:22:00   you know a Rottweiler it's like a marine [TS]

01:22:03   like a Rottweiler will follow every [TS]

01:22:06   order to the letter you know from the [TS]

01:22:09   chain of command but it also knows what [TS]

01:22:12   to do when there's no order in place [TS]

01:22:13   it's like a come to commando dog which [TS]

01:22:16   is great but here's the problem if [TS]

01:22:18   you're not smarter than your dog and [TS]

01:22:20   you're not more resolute than your dog [TS]

01:22:23   that Rottweiler will run your fucking [TS]

01:22:25   house you'll never have a life again [TS]

01:22:27   because the Rottweilers bigger than us [TS]

01:22:29   stronger than you and in some sense it [TS]

01:22:31   is stronger and it is also smarter than [TS]

01:22:33   you and he says that's the thing is we [TS]

01:22:35   would we go when we monitor these guys [TS]

01:22:37   we train them which we test out both the [TS]

01:22:39   dog and the the handler and and the [TS]

01:22:42   thing is he says you can learn so much [TS]

01:22:44   about the character as with the beard [TS]

01:22:47   you learn so much about the character of [TS]

01:22:49   the police officer right now trying to [TS]

01:22:52   interact with this dog and just seeing [TS]

01:22:53   how their dog is you know you got you [TS]

01:22:55   got you got one is little nervous people [TS]

01:22:57   with three chihuahuas running around [TS]

01:22:58   there's a pretty good chance it's gonna [TS]

01:22:59   be a pretty nervous person at the other [TS]

01:23:01   end of the the cord [TS]

01:23:02   yeah well because because the because [TS]

01:23:05   the human being has introduced all these [TS]

01:23:08   variables all these concepts all these [TS]

01:23:10   irrelevant concepts like I that they [TS]

01:23:13   want to be nice [TS]

01:23:14   does the dog like me all these things [TS]

01:23:16   that never occurred the Dodgers wants to [TS]

01:23:18   know what the rule is yeah the dog wants [TS]

01:23:20   to be the ones we please you don't want [TS]

01:23:21   to please you want to please the packets [TS]

01:23:23   that dog was to know its place in a pack [TS]

01:23:25   in my pack [TS]

01:23:26   yes actually it a dog it's this is what [TS]

01:23:28   this is john god dammit this is another [TS]

01:23:30   thing people need to learn about yes [TS]

01:23:32   dogs want to please us that is their [TS]

01:23:33   nature but they want to please us [TS]

01:23:35   because they think we're the boss not [TS]

01:23:37   because we're nice [TS]

01:23:38   oh they have no interested in pleasing [TS]

01:23:40   us to earn our friendship [TS]

01:23:42   no no no and they did that dog is not [TS]

01:23:45   happy when they think they might be in [TS]

01:23:47   power or maybe not [TS]

01:23:48   they're happy when they know who's [TS]

01:23:50   running the show well this is the [TS]

01:23:51   interesting thing about our show the [TS]

01:23:53   other day [TS]

01:23:53   we did a show in seattle with five guys [TS]

01:23:56   all of whom are alpha type people [TS]

01:24:01   well some of us are more often some are [TS]

01:24:04   more alpha than others and as much a [TS]

01:24:05   shower the panel that the well both on [TS]

01:24:08   the same group of people and jonathan [TS]

01:24:11   coulton at one point said listen you [TS]

01:24:14   know I don't want to get in the middle [TS]

01:24:15   and start tangling with you silverbacks [TS]

01:24:18   and I was like alright that's alright [TS]

01:24:22   that's fair but he was making a point [TS]

01:24:25   that there was in that show [TS]

01:24:28   there there are all these and mrs. that [TS]

01:24:30   this was part of my desire to get five [TS]

01:24:32   really talented people together and [TS]

01:24:33   collaborate there are all these [TS]

01:24:35   questions of of like ape dynamics that [TS]

01:24:40   nobody wants to address not only think I [TS]

01:24:44   was pretty good at being a beta dog you [TS]

01:24:47   were there you were awesome scott [TS]

01:24:49   simpson was awesome i think in my his [TS]

01:24:51   are given i think given my history and [TS]

01:24:59   my end my pack problems as a human being [TS]

01:25:02   I think I I'm not even out of my [TS]

01:25:03   performance aside i think i was i didn't [TS]

01:25:06   i didn't complain unduly about the [TS]

01:25:08   tuxedos after it was a done deal [TS]

01:25:09   no you you acquiesce to the tuxedos is [TS]

01:25:12   what you did I did I got down and lay [TS]

01:25:13   down my back and I said please don't [TS]

01:25:14   hurt me [TS]

01:25:15   he rolled over and put all four legs in [TS]

01:25:17   the air to show you here okay don't get [TS]

01:25:19   a dog you get a dog it starts acting up [TS]

01:25:21   you know what you do if you're strong [TS]

01:25:22   enough is that you just wanted a puppy [TS]

01:25:23   you grab that fucking dog you put it on [TS]

01:25:26   its back and you hold it down with it on [TS]

01:25:28   its back [TS]

01:25:29   that is the way that you show a dog [TS]

01:25:31   who's in charge [TS]

01:25:33   yeah like mom climbing into the herd [TS]

01:25:36   good dogs kennel what my mom [TS]

01:25:39   periodically what periodically makes [TS]

01:25:44   Gibson breaks all she's racist or its [TS]

01:25:47   she makes him get out of his dog bed and [TS]

01:25:49   she climbs in and she lays down on his [TS]

01:25:51   bed and she stares at him into guys my [TS]

01:25:55   bed [TS]

01:25:57   I know I ok I've accepted all of this up [TS]

01:26:01   until now there's no way that your mom [TS]

01:26:03   does that one hundred percent and she [TS]

01:26:04   says I let you sleep in this camel hold [TS]

01:26:08   this is not your camel and Gibson goes [TS]

01:26:11   and she's like all right glad we had two [TS]

01:26:15   glad we had this talk and she climbs out [TS]

01:26:18   and then he goes back in [TS]

01:26:19   I mean he understand and order order is [TS]

01:26:21   established and you know it's funny [TS]

01:26:23   though is also you know she was a [TS]

01:26:24   computer programmer [TS]

01:26:25   it's weird how many computer programming [TS]

01:26:27   jobs go off the rails because people [TS]

01:26:29   don't act like the code base is a shared [TS]

01:26:31   resource they act like it's no you know [TS]

01:26:33   what i mean like i get back to the bases [TS]

01:26:35   ball like if you started going out there [TS]

01:26:37   and thinking it was all about you just [TS]

01:26:39   you know what trying to look cool while [TS]

01:26:41   you're swinging the bat or a while it [TS]

01:26:43   was about you trying to make eyes with [TS]

01:26:45   somebody in in the stadium off sounds [TS]

01:26:47   silly but you get your ass kicked [TS]

01:26:49   because that's not your job your job is [TS]

01:26:50   to go out there hit the fucking ball [TS]

01:26:51   right you know what I mean the order the [TS]

01:26:54   order must be restored and and oh my god [TS]

01:26:58   is it is it a covered kennel [TS]

01:27:00   oh it's a full-on crazy she cast a climb [TS]

01:27:03   in [TS]

01:27:04   that's one of those igloos it's a good [TS]

01:27:05   fucking English she climbs and I got any [TS]

01:27:07   glue you use service la years old you [TS]

01:27:12   get you you should see her you know show [TS]

01:27:14   I i have watched her walk down the [TS]

01:27:17   street late at night ahead of me you [TS]

01:27:20   know i'm trying to catch up to her like [TS]

01:27:21   mom you shouldn't be out walking she [TS]

01:27:23   walks right into the center of like them [TS]

01:27:27   what what in some cases could be [TS]

01:27:29   construed as the most intimidating [TS]

01:27:31   scenario which is to say a group of four [TS]

01:27:35   teenage some say them sync between 15 [TS]

01:27:38   and 17 year old gangster still like [TS]

01:27:43   street corner hangout see desperate with [TS]

01:27:46   people desperate people who have no idea [TS]

01:27:49   what they even have to list their [TS]

01:27:50   teenagers they have no they have no [TS]

01:27:52   sense that they are mortal and they are [TS]

01:27:54   all wearing gang colors and they're [TS]

01:27:57   standing on a street corner in the [TS]

01:27:59   middle of the night in the middle of the [TS]

01:28:00   hood and my mom will walk right into the [TS]

01:28:02   middle of them [TS]

01:28:03   and say I think that it's reprehensible [TS]

01:28:07   that you just threw your candy wrapper [TS]

01:28:08   on the ground or something like that and [TS]

01:28:10   I'm you know I'm a block and a half [TS]

01:28:11   behind going well and they they [TS]

01:28:17   straighten up [TS]

01:28:19   I mean I've watched it happen they're [TS]

01:28:20   like yes ma'am and pick their candy bar [TS]

01:28:23   wrapper up off the ground she's one of [TS]

01:28:24   those if anything it's like I said it's [TS]

01:28:26   a frank beautiful thing there are some [TS]

01:28:28   people who just have a certain way of [TS]

01:28:29   carrying themselves and have that [TS]

01:28:31   principle feeling and if I did that I [TS]

01:28:33   like I couldn't ikea you might be able [TS]

01:28:36   to do that with some Authority but [TS]

01:28:37   you're also big and intimidating your [TS]

01:28:39   mom's not a not a giant person [TS]

01:28:41   yeah but those kids wouldn't be [TS]

01:28:42   intimidated by me you know that by [TS]

01:28:44   myself [TS]

01:28:45   it's my size would just it just would [TS]

01:28:49   just encourage them to go on on the [TS]

01:28:53   defensive attack help my mom just it's i [TS]

01:28:57   would I think what it is is that we all [TS]

01:28:59   have in the back of our head this switch [TS]

01:29:02   where you do it your grandmother tells [TS]

01:29:04   you you know and I feel like that that [TS]

01:29:06   is why [TS]

01:29:08   oh yeah i think i think that was kind of [TS]

01:29:10   Secretary of State Madeleine Albright [TS]

01:29:12   see Madeline Albright yeah attractive [TS]

01:29:16   lady j beautiful voice she turns out [TS]

01:29:21   term turns out the was a Jewish lady is [TS]

01:29:25   up you know what she found out late in [TS]

01:29:27   life that she's a Jewess she found out [TS]

01:29:29   late in life that [TS]

01:29:31   yeah that she had this whole culture so [TS]

01:29:33   cultural backgrounds and no idea about [TS]

01:29:36   her whole life in Nana's so so so you're [TS]

01:29:40   but here's the thing that between [TS]

01:29:41   without naming names you and certain [TS]

01:29:44   members of your family are someone at [TS]

01:29:46   loggerheads on the saber and baby [TS]

01:29:47   holding issue it is believed by these [TS]

01:29:50   women who are not you then the child [TS]

01:29:52   should be allowed to go to stop it from [TS]

01:29:54   crying it should be allowed to go wander [TS]

01:29:55   around well this is the thing i don't [TS]

01:29:56   believe that they are i don't believe [TS]

01:29:58   that they are approaching these matters [TS]

01:30:00   with up with the long view and they are [TS]

01:30:03   responding rather to a crying baby [TS]

01:30:06   their instinct is to take a crying baby [TS]

01:30:09   and through [TS]

01:30:11   heading and goldfish crackers and [TS]

01:30:15   whatever other things that whatever [TS]

01:30:16   other sort of a sorcery that people [TS]

01:30:20   applied children they want to make the [TS]

01:30:22   crying baby to stop they want crying [TS]

01:30:23   baby tutu go away and happy baby come [TS]

01:30:26   back and what what they fail to [TS]

01:30:28   appreciate is that crying baby has no [TS]

01:30:30   effect on me like I really it is the [TS]

01:30:33   power is the power I have in this [TS]

01:30:36   situation which is the difference [TS]

01:30:38   between crying baby and happy baby is is [TS]

01:30:41   a math problem to me not a an emotional [TS]

01:30:45   one [TS]

01:30:45   so I can sit with crying baby on my lap [TS]

01:30:48   for an hour and I think it's important [TS]

01:30:51   that it happened to visit their shots [TS]

01:30:52   equal no no I mean it's exactly like a [TS]

01:30:55   vampire [TS]

01:30:56   it's exhausting but crying baby is [TS]

01:30:57   sitting on my lap and she is saying [TS]

01:30:59   she's saying crying baby is what I do [TS]

01:31:04   crying babies who I become when I want [TS]

01:31:07   the situation to change and I say I know [TS]

01:31:10   that's what crying baby is and she goes [TS]

01:31:14   so I am being crying baby and the [TS]

01:31:16   situation is not changing and I go [TS]

01:31:18   that's right and then we look at each [TS]

01:31:22   other and she keeps growing our [TS]

01:31:25   strategies to cry more strategies to cry [TS]

01:31:27   more and to end and and I and I swear to [TS]

01:31:29   you you know the women in my house are [TS]

01:31:32   tearing their hair out that sometimes [TS]

01:31:34   they have to leave the house because the [TS]

01:31:37   because this you know this sound is not [TS]

01:31:39   being because this sound is a sound that [TS]

01:31:41   needs to be addressed and I am NOT [TS]

01:31:43   addressing it although I am addressing [TS]

01:31:45   them i'm addressing it by saying here is [TS]

01:31:48   the thing you are going to sit on my lap [TS]

01:31:51   and you can do it crying or not you can [TS]

01:31:56   with this can go a thousand different [TS]

01:31:57   ways but the thing that isn't going to [TS]

01:32:00   change is that year he I mean you're not [TS]

01:32:02   going to get down and it's not it's not [TS]

01:32:05   a thing that's not a wrestling match [TS]

01:32:07   it's just a but the crying is not going [TS]

01:32:11   to produce the results that you're [TS]

01:32:13   expecting in distance in making you're [TS]

01:32:15   making a stronger person that made it [TS]

01:32:17   may crying may work for you and a lot of [TS]

01:32:19   other and a lot of other avenues but I [TS]

01:32:22   know you don't have a wet diaper I know [TS]

01:32:23   you are not uncomfortable i know you're [TS]

01:32:25   not hurt I know you're not hungry i know [TS]

01:32:28   you're not scared you are just [TS]

01:32:31   dissatisfied and dissatisfaction is a [TS]

01:32:35   thing that we are going to learn to sit [TS]

01:32:36   and appreciate you can store it up for a [TS]

01:32:39   while [TS]

01:32:40   yeah dissatisfaction is a thing that we [TS]

01:32:42   should we should savor it like a like a [TS]

01:32:44   like a bloom up because all around me [TS]

01:32:48   there are people who have never learned [TS]

01:32:49   to endure dissatisfaction and I do not [TS]

01:32:52   admire them [TS]

01:32:53   uh-huh so that's the part with you is [TS]

01:32:56   like eat you you do demand satisfaction [TS]

01:32:58   but you deny yourself it seems to me the [TS]

01:33:01   immediate payoff of going name and i'm [TS]

01:33:04   going to write a letter or something [TS]

01:33:06   like that you you let that sit and grow [TS]

01:33:08   and strengthen right you're in training [TS]

01:33:11   you're in training for the for the [TS]

01:33:13   demanding of satisfaction what what what [TS]

01:33:15   maybe what made walking into that north [TS]

01:33:17   face so exciting to me was that I had [TS]

01:33:19   had I've had two and a half months of [TS]

01:33:24   discomfort that you know I could have [TS]

01:33:28   thrown that backpack away the second I [TS]

01:33:30   got to a town and bought a new backpack [TS]

01:33:32   in a store but i did not i carried that [TS]

01:33:37   broken ass backpack for two months I can [TS]

01:33:43   you know what you like and you knew i [TS]

01:33:44   was going to get work is going to get [TS]

01:33:46   worse [TS]

01:33:46   oh it was going to get worse and i knew [TS]

01:33:48   i was gonna have to fix it with with [TS]

01:33:49   thread and bailing wire i knew i was ID [TS]

01:33:52   and i knew i knew i was going to carry [TS]

01:33:55   that thing for two months and I was [TS]

01:33:56   gonna carry it all the way back to [TS]

01:33:58   Seattle and I was going to carry it down [TS]

01:33:59   and I was gonna throw it on the floor [TS]

01:34:01   that store I knew that was gonna happen [TS]

01:34:03   and so every time it dug into my back [TS]

01:34:07   every time that backpack [TS]

01:34:09   every time I had to take it all apart so [TS]

01:34:12   it back together [TS]

01:34:13   it was just like and then you made [TS]

01:34:17   everyone in the store sit on your lap [TS]

01:34:19   then I made everybody so sad but I got [TS]

01:34:23   my satisfaction [TS]

01:34:26   i get i get mail from people all the [TS]

01:34:28   time saying I'm trying to get [TS]

01:34:30   satisfaction will you help me [TS]

01:34:32   well you know you but not in the way you [TS]

01:34:34   expect [TS]

01:34:35   that's right my feeling is I'm not gonna [TS]

01:34:37   help you get satisfaction right you but [TS]

01:34:40   I can help you by saying I'd like one [TS]

01:34:42   hundred percent support your desire to [TS]

01:34:43   get satisfaction that there was a [TS]

01:34:46   somebody tried to social network me the [TS]

01:34:48   other day I want you too will you [TS]

01:34:50   retweet my dissatisfaction [TS]

01:34:52   oh they want you to be a social media [TS]

01:34:54   fixer yeah I'm not gonna be your [TS]

01:34:55   megaphone you know if if part of your [TS]

01:34:58   dissatisfaction is that you are not you [TS]

01:35:01   are not able to socially mediate your [TS]

01:35:03   problem with these people [TS]

01:35:06   let that be another love on your fire [TS]

01:35:10   you could really become i mean i-i need [TS]

01:35:15   all the time for something like this [TS]

01:35:16   nowadays but you could become a kind of [TS]

01:35:18   coach you could you could become [TS]

01:35:21   somebody knowing i'm just saying i gotta [TS]

01:35:23   know what it's just something to think [TS]

01:35:24   about is you could you could i'm not [TS]

01:35:26   saying you have to hold the monument [TS]

01:35:27   that maybe that could be maybe I could [TS]

01:35:29   be just the first week or so you come in [TS]

01:35:31   for an hour and you maybe maybe you know [TS]

01:35:33   how about this you go to their house you [TS]

01:35:34   shake him out of bed [TS]

01:35:36   yeah private get out get out of my bed [TS]

01:35:38   laying in bed you can make him watch you [TS]

01:35:40   make them watch you while you sleep in [TS]

01:35:42   their bed when they're tired and [TS]

01:35:44   confused [TS]

01:35:45   stand at attention to the foot of his [TS]

01:35:46   bed and watch me sleep my bed I let you [TS]

01:35:48   sleep here watch me curl up with your [TS]

01:35:50   little watch me turn your pillows towels [TS]

01:35:53   that's it's a riffic idea because what [TS]

01:35:55   you're what you're saying in some ways [TS]

01:35:57   is it's funny there's that there's a [TS]

01:35:58   again with the irony the irony of [TS]

01:36:01   holding her in your lap and I'm the [TS]

01:36:02   thing I proved that I think it's an [TS]

01:36:04   interesting idea but a but the idea is [TS]

01:36:06   you're teaching her that this is not a [TS]

01:36:07   situation that will change [TS]

01:36:09   it's not about her being sad it's about [TS]

01:36:11   acceptance yeah right well it's about [TS]

01:36:14   acceptance and it's about understanding [TS]

01:36:15   that in this world in the world that she [TS]

01:36:17   lives in there are people who are going [TS]

01:36:19   to make decisions that she that where [TS]

01:36:22   she is going to be consulted necessarily [TS]

01:36:24   right and that is a thing that that the [TS]

01:36:28   argument against is that it disempowers [TS]

01:36:31   her but I want to be perfectly clear at [TS]

01:36:35   least in my clan that total empowerment [TS]

01:36:39   is not what I'm what I'm after [TS]

01:36:42   in the case of a two-year-old like [TS]

01:36:44   empowerment is a thing that you earn [TS]

01:36:47   overtime as you overcome obstacles learn [TS]

01:36:52   and accomplish things you become [TS]

01:36:54   empowered empowerment is not a thing [TS]

01:36:56   that you are born with and then that the [TS]

01:36:58   parents job is to get out of the way of [TS]

01:37:00   empowerment is a thing that you learned [TS]

01:37:03   some of that is that you become [TS]

01:37:04   empowered by knowing that you were [TS]

01:37:07   disempowered or that you were that there [TS]

01:37:09   were tremendous limits on what you were [TS]

01:37:12   able to do any as a young person so I [TS]

01:37:16   mean there are some of the shrieking [TS]

01:37:17   that's happening [TS]

01:37:18   some of the shrieking that necessitates [TS]

01:37:20   that I carry a saber while I do this [TS]

01:37:21   stuff is around this idea that i am that [TS]

01:37:27   somehow by holding her on my lap I am I [TS]

01:37:30   am either being a bully or I'm teaching [TS]

01:37:33   her that she doesn't have autonomy or [TS]

01:37:37   all these other questions and I'm like [TS]

01:37:38   the first of all of the the thing in my [TS]

01:37:42   family that I'm not worried about it is [TS]

01:37:45   that she grows up with a sense of [TS]

01:37:47   autonomy you know what i mean i'm not i [TS]

01:37:49   am not particularly worried that that [TS]

01:37:51   that she will be the first Roderick [TS]

01:37:54   rochester in the history of time that [TS]

01:37:57   isn't a total like basically a human [TS]

01:38:01   monster [TS]

01:38:02   we r we r who we are a threat to human [TS]

01:38:08   culture not you know not not a clog in [TS]

01:38:11   it's not something you I get her don't [TS]

01:38:13   get in afternoon on Daddy's lap yeah [TS]

01:38:15   she's not you know she's not going to be [TS]

01:38:17   anything you don't have blonde hair or [TS]

01:38:19   something so but all the but all these [TS]

01:38:22   ideas that you know that a two-year-old [TS]

01:38:23   is learning these unconscious that the [TS]

01:38:27   this idea that she's not going to be [TS]

01:38:29   that she's not going to feel capable [TS]

01:38:32   right because her because her father [TS]

01:38:35   periodically [TS]

01:38:37   made no prepare for example sir [TS]

01:38:41   Institute's a regime in which she will [TS]

01:38:43   be that in which she will survive a [TS]

01:38:45   holocaust I do not accept this logic [TS]

01:38:51   energy if anybody in this family is [TS]

01:38:54   because i had a dream the other night [TS]

01:38:55   after this terrible hurricane in New [TS]

01:38:59   York had a dream the other night that I [TS]

01:39:00   was in a car that went off a bridge into [TS]

01:39:03   a river and the car filled up with water [TS]

01:39:06   and the baby was in the car with me and [TS]

01:39:10   I had to I had to wait for the car to [TS]

01:39:13   sink in order to open the door and then [TS]

01:39:17   swim around get the baby out of her car [TS]

01:39:19   seat under water and then get to the [TS]

01:39:22   surface of what then became a raging [TS]

01:39:24   torrent I was then a raging river and i [TS]

01:39:28   had to have the baby hold on to me as I [TS]

01:39:30   swam in what became a boundary list see [TS]

01:39:35   there wasn't then there was no Shore and [TS]

01:39:38   I'm swimming in this torrent and there's [TS]

01:39:40   no Shore and there's nothing to hold [TS]

01:39:41   onto and i'm in my dream trying to [TS]

01:39:44   navigate the and I'm not a super great [TS]

01:39:46   swimmer either trying to figure out a [TS]

01:39:48   way that i can make us boy and enough to [TS]

01:39:51   float where she can ride on my chest as [TS]

01:39:55   I'm you know floating on my back and [TS]

01:39:58   we're being carried in this flood raging [TS]

01:40:01   flood water and this was not a good [TS]

01:40:05   dream this was a terrifying dream but it [TS]

01:40:08   reinforced to me that there are times [TS]

01:40:12   when baby needs to hold onto daddy and [TS]

01:40:14   shut the fuck up and in and I can see my [TS]

01:40:19   daughter in this situation as we're [TS]

01:40:21   floating down this this delusion and she [TS]

01:40:24   is on my shoes on my chest and I am [TS]

01:40:27   trying to keep my head above water that [TS]

01:40:29   she starts saying down down daddy down [TS]

01:40:34   and it must make you redouble your your [TS]

01:40:37   your saber and I rattling and in this in [TS]

01:40:41   the in the case of being in the delusion [TS]

01:40:43   I would have to say no honey it's just [TS]

01:40:45   going to sit on daddy's chest right now [TS]

01:40:48   and and you know what if she grows up [TS]

01:40:49   with that which i'm certain that she [TS]

01:40:51   will when she becomes a strong swimmer [TS]

01:40:53   you know it what I think we run into the [TS]

01:40:55   harry chapin scenario i think she says [TS]

01:40:57   to you know [TS]

01:40:58   yeah I'm a strong swimmer swimmer you [TS]

01:41:00   will hold onto me and and then you will [TS]

01:41:02   be happily lovingly the beta dog for [TS]

01:41:05   that situation you should learn to swim [TS]

01:41:07   better that will be the moment and the [TS]

01:41:08   thing is they don't know you succeeded [TS]

01:41:10   in every child's life there is the [TS]

01:41:11   moment where they say no dad I am no [TS]

01:41:14   longer on your i'm no longer sit on your [TS]

01:41:17   lab and that is the moment when it is [TS]

01:41:19   that is incumbent upon me to say you're [TS]

01:41:24   right and now i am old and had cats in [TS]

01:41:29   the cradle and the silver spoon we have [TS]

01:41:33   to fight each other [TS]

01:41:34   [Music] [TS]