Roderick on the Line

Ep. 53: "Kennebunkhead"


00:00:00   hello hey John [TS]

00:00:07   hi Merlin has gone Oh busy busy with you [TS]

00:00:12   allah stacked up [TS]

00:00:14   oh I'm so busy yeah it's so busy i'm not [TS]

00:00:17   used to it you know i shouldn't say this [TS]

00:00:21   but I'm not very busy in general and [TS]

00:00:23   when i get busy it's extremely stressful [TS]

00:00:25   to me [TS]

00:00:26   yeah I'm not used to it and and you know [TS]

00:00:28   i i i i read these uh i was about to say [TS]

00:00:32   I read autobiographies of it of [TS]

00:00:34   important people but that's a lie i read [TS]

00:00:36   i read reviews of autobiographies in The [TS]

00:00:39   New Yorker who by important people of [TS]

00:00:42   important people and all these [TS]

00:00:44   biographies make a important peoples [TS]

00:00:47   sound like they are just going to go and [TS]

00:00:50   go and go and go on [TS]

00:00:51   they do they do more in like a week than [TS]

00:00:54   you and I could do in two lifetimes [TS]

00:00:55   yeah important people are just their [TS]

00:00:57   they're so busy people in Hollywood are [TS]

00:00:59   busy their pitching this their writing [TS]

00:01:02   the script there I heard this I think I [TS]

00:01:04   don't have listening which is really the [TS]

00:01:06   only way to listen to NPR and I i think [TS]

00:01:09   they said that the sitting president has [TS]

00:01:11   something like five campaign appearances [TS]

00:01:13   in the next four hours i have been five [TS]

00:01:16   places in 48 hours in my whole life [TS]

00:01:18   yeah then maybe they'll sleep for hours [TS]

00:01:19   a day and they feel rested and vibrant [TS]

00:01:22   and the way they go and I got up this [TS]

00:01:24   morning at seven o'clock in the morning [TS]

00:01:26   and I got in a car my car and I drove [TS]

00:01:31   into the town office and all the people [TS]

00:01:34   the other people were also driving into [TS]

00:01:38   the town the other people in their cars [TS]

00:01:40   and I I was appalled [TS]

00:01:43   yeah they were using my roads first of [TS]

00:01:46   all yeah but uh but all this busyness [TS]

00:01:49   and and and then I had to go there and [TS]

00:01:51   then I put the person i was i was seeing [TS]

00:01:53   was like well can you come back this [TS]

00:01:55   afternoon i was like no I'm busy i have [TS]

00:01:58   i have a lot of busyness ok so i don't [TS]

00:02:00   know if i don't know if I'm suited for [TS]

00:02:02   this [TS]

00:02:03   mhm all this business I mean I know that [TS]

00:02:05   that's what you have to do in order to [TS]

00:02:06   gets someone get the new yorker to write [TS]

00:02:09   a review of your autobiography or your [TS]

00:02:11   biography I guess [TS]

00:02:13   I oh I have no interest in writing an [TS]

00:02:15   autobiography getting an office for that [TS]

00:02:16   and and as long as we're talking about [TS]

00:02:19   it i'll just say that a lot of those [TS]

00:02:21   people probably Benjamin Franklin [TS]

00:02:23   notwithstanding a lot of those people [TS]

00:02:24   have handlers they have handlers the [TS]

00:02:26   schedulers the assistance and they've [TS]

00:02:28   given themselves over and they just you [TS]

00:02:30   know basically Marie right what time and [TS]

00:02:32   what do I where they just show up [TS]

00:02:33   somebody points from somewhere clips in [TS]

00:02:34   my condom and start talking [TS]

00:02:36   yeah you're exactly right idea Ben [TS]

00:02:38   Franklin em get you have my attention [TS]

00:02:41   I was thinking I was lying in bed last [TS]

00:02:43   night and and I was thinking about our [TS]

00:02:46   coinage as you do [TS]

00:02:49   oh and a new ms numismatic coinage [TS]

00:02:53   numismatic origin and I was thinking the [TS]

00:02:55   quarter has Washington honor that seems [TS]

00:02:58   reasonable that the nickel has Jefferson [TS]

00:03:00   eminently reasonable the penny is [TS]

00:03:04   Lincoln half-dollar used to be Benjamin [TS]

00:03:07   times got rid of that right Franklin who [TS]

00:03:10   and then and then and now it's Kennedy [TS]

00:03:16   who all that seems right a dime has [TS]

00:03:19   Roosevelt seems perfectly plausible but [TS]

00:03:23   why not [TS]

00:03:24   but then you remember the old silver [TS]

00:03:27   dollar the big one the one that was the [TS]

00:03:29   size of a love of a coaster not the can [TS]

00:03:32   anyone now that's a half-dollar someone [TS]

00:03:35   the big one had Eisenhower on it might [TS]

00:03:37   the biggest American coin ever minted [TS]

00:03:41   it's like Kevin Duran Duran enemy or ax [TS]

00:03:44   any award [TS]

00:03:44   yeah it and Eisenhower on it and my [TS]

00:03:46   whole life I have I have I have accepted [TS]

00:03:48   that the the old silver dollar had had [TS]

00:03:53   had Eisenhower on and then I'll s not on [TS]

00:03:55   my bed and I was like wait a minute [TS]

00:03:57   Eisenhower is it happen see that's the [TS]

00:03:59   kind of thing like I'm sorry I'm typing [TS]

00:04:01   that's the kind of thing that would send [TS]

00:04:02   me flying out of bed to go and look it [TS]

00:04:04   up because it seems so wrong have I mean [TS]

00:04:06   I can think of nothing against [TS]

00:04:07   Eisenhower ease and I i I'm not opposed [TS]

00:04:09   I I totally remember this they were big [TS]

00:04:12   they were very big they're there they [TS]

00:04:14   are the size of the woofer in a in a [TS]

00:04:16   stereo speaker Eisenhower dollar [TS]

00:04:18   yeah and and I mean although Eisenhower [TS]

00:04:21   i think was it was a very fine president [TS]

00:04:23   and a nice man i can think of sick [TS]

00:04:25   presidents that should have been on that [TS]

00:04:27   coin before Eisenhower so it there must [TS]

00:04:29   have been some horse trading some some [TS]

00:04:32   some you know post-war sounds like a [TS]

00:04:36   champ up to me 19 first of all it was [TS]

00:04:38   only nineteen seventy-one to 1978 I'm [TS]

00:04:41   just saying that the decision had to [TS]

00:04:42   have come before 1971 the guy had been [TS]

00:04:46   dead for windy die like Earl he died not [TS]

00:04:50   too long after he left office right [TS]

00:04:51   Eisenhower no I think he lived a little [TS]

00:04:53   loopy lived a little ways into the 60s [TS]

00:04:56   uncheck out Mike Mamie Eisenhower stuck [TS]

00:05:00   around who but you know you're right [TS]

00:05:02   that was the era where 1969 he saw [TS]

00:05:05   Vietnam yeah right so man walked on the [TS]

00:05:07   moon boom Eisenhower almost almost [TS]

00:05:09   missed it by three months four months [TS]

00:05:11   oh that pity I'll come on it doesn't [TS]

00:05:14   that suck march twenty 8 1969 it was [TS]

00:05:17   july four little I was that right yeah [TS]

00:05:20   who's running this show that Eisenhower [TS]

00:05:21   didn't get to see a man walking I got [TS]

00:05:23   tired John this is this is fucking [TS]

00:05:24   ridiculous we got a stack of problems [TS]

00:05:26   first of all that I should have gotten [TS]

00:05:27   to see that we got on there for being a [TS]

00:05:30   general don't you think i think you're [TS]

00:05:32   right i think that's exactly I think he [TS]

00:05:33   got ulysses s grant type situation he [TS]

00:05:36   won World War two and that's why they [TS]

00:05:38   put him on the Bitcoin mhm and then you [TS]

00:05:40   know his eight years as president and [TS]

00:05:42   all that and that's fine too [TS]

00:05:44   shrub that really burnishes the image [TS]

00:05:46   but it's it but you know what retired [TS]

00:05:48   general that's what it was retired [TS]

00:05:50   general well it's beyond the purview of [TS]

00:05:53   this show to do a lot of research but to [TS]

00:05:55   the best ok i knowi from the past that [TS]

00:05:59   you're somebody was interested in [TS]

00:06:00   becoming a CIA operative I know you're [TS]

00:06:02   interested in what's really going on i'm [TS]

00:06:04   also equally super interested in what [TS]

00:06:06   going I don't know what the fuck [TS]

00:06:07   happened I wonder who else was in the [TS]

00:06:08   running I wonder who lost to Eisenhower [TS]

00:06:11   right now who else would have you know i [TS]

00:06:13   say this you say there's probably I mean [TS]

00:06:15   and you know Roosevelt I think you gotta [TS]

00:06:17   give the guy props for for longevity and [TS]

00:06:19   and for our for a guy who can use his [TS]

00:06:21   legs he got a lot of tail [TS]

00:06:22   I think you got him credit for that you [TS]

00:06:23   know one and only three term president [TS]

00:06:25   that counts for something [TS]

00:06:27   it was only three didn't go for my mom [TS]

00:06:30   said she was a kid Roosevelt was always [TS]

00:06:31   president [TS]

00:06:33   he's just want to be with you have died [TS]

00:06:36   president it was like it was like having [TS]

00:06:38   it was like being around Victoria [TS]

00:06:39   Victoria was clean i think for 250 years [TS]

00:06:41   you just you just you just get used to [TS]

00:06:43   it that thing we do yeah yeah but they [TS]

00:06:46   don't talk about a Roosevelt Ian Ayre [TS]

00:06:48   arrow like they do the Victorian era but [TS]

00:06:49   she was Queen longer I think she also i [TS]

00:06:54   think she also stepped down on her [TS]

00:06:55   spouse as did Franklin oh well back in [TS]

00:06:59   the Victorian times my god everybody was [TS]

00:07:01   looking at everybody else's skirt you [TS]

00:07:02   think she's a tiger in the sack [TS]

00:07:04   I think that she might have preferred [TS]

00:07:06   the company of other ladies they have [TS]

00:07:10   different sack for that Victoria sounds [TS]

00:07:13   definitely have a different sexy when [TS]

00:07:15   you become queen victoria and you get an [TS]

00:07:16   era named after you I think he got as [TS]

00:07:18   many rooms and as much discretion as you [TS]

00:07:22   like [TS]

00:07:23   sure you get to have you get abs ulu [TS]

00:07:25   chambermaids and I school chambermaid it [TS]

00:07:30   the just sign them yeah that's a major [TS]

00:07:33   thing I when I was about to make a Zulu [TS]

00:07:36   sound but I don't know what that is [TS]

00:07:37   I I for one would be very interested in [TS]

00:07:40   having a dual-chamber made it look into [TS]

00:07:43   it [TS]

00:07:43   I you know I would like to boy what I [TS]

00:07:46   would do with a couple of Zulu [TS]

00:07:48   chambermaids chambermaid changes the [TS]

00:07:50   sheets they do things with debts that [TS]

00:07:52   right correct yeah there there there [TS]

00:07:54   there there with the washbasin there [TS]

00:07:56   there with the what's the name of the [TS]

00:07:58   wash basin where you go poop in the [TS]

00:08:00   night came upon a chamberpot chamber pop [TS]

00:08:02   you think she has to the chambermaid a [TS]

00:08:04   zoo or otherwise do they have to deal [TS]

00:08:06   with the chamber pot I'm pretty sure if [TS]

00:08:09   you if you have a if you are made and [TS]

00:08:13   there is a pot and your title says [TS]

00:08:18   chamber and the pot is says chamber [TS]

00:08:20   that's your that you know that is what [TS]

00:08:24   chamber is a euphemism for who temper is [TS]

00:08:27   a euphemism not for room but for poop i [TS]

00:08:30   put it this way if I were a chambermaid [TS]

00:08:32   and which great robyn Hitchcock song and [TS]

00:08:36   and I had been on the payroll for a [TS]

00:08:38   while I got have some credibility and [TS]

00:08:40   there was an opening and they were [TS]

00:08:41   bringing in say a new scullery maid [TS]

00:08:43   I would personally lobby to have the [TS]

00:08:45   name of that change to the scullery [TS]

00:08:46   pot that is an opportunity to maybe take [TS]

00:08:49   one of the less pleasant parts of your [TS]

00:08:51   jobs and shine around someone gallery [TS]

00:08:53   made is the one who's washing your [TS]

00:08:55   cutlery and your bowls and stuff always [TS]

00:08:57   down to 70 I still got her washing your [TS]

00:09:00   pop-pop's contamination [TS]

00:09:02   yeah that's like that's bottom of the [TS]

00:09:04   house stuff and chambermaid is Tom and [TS]

00:09:07   bottom of the house which is still a [TS]

00:09:08   force coloring it's probably but [TS]

00:09:11   seriously though I I feel like I feel [TS]

00:09:14   like John Adams should have a coin who I [TS]

00:09:16   feel like a UH there there are there are [TS]

00:09:19   a couple of presidents that I was gonna [TS]

00:09:21   ask you said you thought maybe like five [TS]

00:09:22   or six five or six years but Wilson I [TS]

00:09:24   guess we'll always you know Wilson's on [TS]

00:09:26   the hundred-thousand-dollar built [TS]

00:09:27   yeah and I frankly think I have some [TS]

00:09:31   misgivings about Wilson but PR there's [TS]

00:09:34   no Teddy Roosevelt coin who I mean he's [TS]

00:09:36   means i mean like a PETA thing you think [TS]

00:09:38   I think it might be i think i think [TS]

00:09:41   people might have a hard time he's a [TS]

00:09:43   little robust for today's culture don't [TS]

00:09:45   you think he is he would ski would I [TS]

00:09:47   think people would blanch your kind of [TS]

00:09:50   like the TR of your time in a lot of [TS]

00:09:51   ways that's sweet of you I i have never [TS]

00:09:53   no one's ever named a stuffed bear after [TS]

00:09:56   me as far as i know that up unless [TS]

00:10:00   they're just took a nice to ensure all [TS]

00:10:02   the stuffing your drawn in home they [TS]

00:10:05   took a knife to it throughout all the [TS]

00:10:06   stuffing and packed full of diamonds and [TS]

00:10:10   then Kari and then put it in their anus [TS]

00:10:11   and carried across an international [TS]

00:10:13   border [TS]

00:10:13   hello that movie Wow um and you know it [TS]

00:10:18   but here's the other thing that do you [TS]

00:10:19   think it's a obviously in some ways it's [TS]

00:10:21   a huge honor to be on a shitty low [TS]

00:10:23   denomination coin because there's more [TS]

00:10:25   of them right [TS]

00:10:26   see Lincoln is my favorite president but [TS]

00:10:29   I hate pennies you're a penny hater [TS]

00:10:34   I'm one of those guys why I think we get [TS]

00:10:36   rid of the nickel to I think maybe we [TS]

00:10:37   get Lincoln on to a better coin I think [TS]

00:10:39   Lincoln on a dime [TS]

00:10:41   it will be fine you know what I think we [TS]

00:10:42   should do we should put we should put [TS]

00:10:45   Roosevelt on maybe like you know I've [TS]

00:10:50   hundred-dollar bill [TS]

00:10:50   okay what if we put Lincoln on the [TS]

00:10:51   three-dollar bill because he was he was [TS]

00:10:55   homosexual right [TS]

00:10:56   mmm a little good question Lincoln [TS]

00:10:58   three-dollar bill [TS]

00:10:59   come on my work check out all the news [TS]

00:11:03   hmm i don't know hired him [TS]

00:11:06   I can't understand how you can hate [TS]

00:11:08   pennies pennies are pennies are such a [TS]

00:11:10   wonderful piece of of numismatic history [TS]

00:11:14   what do you do so is slavery like what [TS]

00:11:18   what do you do what do you do with [TS]

00:11:20   pennies put them in a jar and they just [TS]

00:11:23   stack up and you keep them in the [TS]

00:11:24   Overcash man or is it just talismanic i [TS]

00:11:26   don't i don't Cashman because because as [TS]

00:11:29   you know or maybe you don't know but you [TS]

00:11:31   probably do know at a certain point they [TS]

00:11:33   stopped making pennies out of pure [TS]

00:11:35   copper who because a penny the the [TS]

00:11:38   copper in a penny was worth [TS]

00:11:39   three-and-a-half said yeah it cost like [TS]

00:11:41   two or three times as much as the coin [TS]

00:11:42   yeah so they started making they started [TS]

00:11:44   making pennies out of zinc coating them [TS]

00:11:46   with copper but most of the most of the [TS]

00:11:49   coins in circulation that are that have [TS]

00:11:52   a precious metal value higher than their [TS]

00:11:54   their face value our people have combed [TS]

00:11:57   through their pocket change their you [TS]

00:11:59   very seldom find silver but you can you [TS]

00:12:02   can find pure copper pennies up every [TS]

00:12:05   time you pick up a handful of change [TS]

00:12:07   does it have to be a wheat penny [TS]

00:12:09   no no no any penny up until they [TS]

00:12:12   switched over to zinc in the nineties i [TS]

00:12:14   think it's clinton thing probably yeah [TS]

00:12:17   it's like it's like it's like going up [TS]

00:12:18   the gold standard except it's going on [TS]

00:12:20   to the sinks in standard tell you what [TS]

00:12:22   my one thing in my brain for every time [TS]

00:12:25   i hear the gold standard I think it's [TS]

00:12:26   exactly the same thing and this is tells [TS]

00:12:29   you the power of media is all i remember [TS]

00:12:30   is Thurston Howell was mad that we got [TS]

00:12:32   off the gold standard [TS]

00:12:33   wow really who wait a minute there's an [TS]

00:12:38   like it wasn't like it was in like the [TS]

00:12:40   sixties right wasn't uh Nixon took us [TS]

00:12:43   off the gold standard but wasn't that [TS]

00:12:45   what maybe i might be eliminated early [TS]

00:12:47   sixties it was the mid-sixties I could [TS]

00:12:51   be wrong i could be wrong but you know [TS]

00:12:52   what even my one piece of incorrect [TS]

00:12:54   information might be wrong [TS]

00:12:55   here's a question for you this is [TS]

00:12:57   something you might know Gilligan's [TS]

00:12:58   Island started off as a black-and-white [TS]

00:13:00   TV show and then it became a color TV [TS]

00:13:02   show [TS]

00:13:02   correct [TS]

00:13:04   how many other TV shows have that [TS]

00:13:06   experience it but man did that happen a [TS]

00:13:07   bonanza very good question i don't know [TS]

00:13:09   about bonanza bananas i think was always [TS]

00:13:11   in colored Gunsmoke obviously definitely [TS]

00:13:13   started I'd explain to my daughter the [TS]

00:13:15   other night I had to explain [TS]

00:13:15   black-and-white things to my daughter [TS]

00:13:17   what she did she tell us how do you [TS]

00:13:19   explain to somebody it's like it's I [TS]

00:13:21   mean it's very difficult all you know it [TS]

00:13:24   hurt one of her favorite phrases right [TS]

00:13:25   now is all brother [TS]

00:13:27   it's so boring ah yes and that's like [TS]

00:13:30   getting her Paris brushed it's like you [TS]

00:13:32   know so blog mall brother and so are [TS]

00:13:36   blowing and and and she doesn't like [TS]

00:13:39   black and white things and it's funny [TS]

00:13:41   because like when it comes to comics and [TS]

00:13:42   stuff she or you know she she always [TS]

00:13:45   favors the more colorful thing over the [TS]

00:13:47   more monochromatic things trying to tell [TS]

00:13:50   me that like when I was a kid I record [TS]

00:13:51   like I wouldn't have a color TV at our [TS]

00:13:53   house we you know they were around but [TS]

00:13:56   it was money was much more costly to [TS]

00:13:58   make things in color and had waited 20 [TS]

00:14:00   periscope is a really big deal because [TS]

00:14:05   you remember like I'm thinking it wasn't [TS]

00:14:07   it wasn't it wasn't Batman but it would [TS]

00:14:10   be like they would be like whatever [TS]

00:14:11   dragnet and collar because it was a [TS]

00:14:14   really big deal it was like yeah and [TS]

00:14:16   that the 3d of the time but you know [TS]

00:14:17   what i mean it was really real [TS]

00:14:19   I remember I remember our first color TV [TS]

00:14:21   in fact I remember somebody I don't know [TS]

00:14:24   how this happened but at some point in [TS]

00:14:26   the seventies i was given as a gift and [TS]

00:14:29   I'm talking about me personally not my [TS]

00:14:32   family but I was given as a gift a [TS]

00:14:34   portable color TV i'll come behind which [TS]

00:14:37   was the size of a milk crate and weighed [TS]

00:14:41   445 pounds but it was a color TV and [TS]

00:14:45   portable and someone i don't remember [TS]

00:14:47   how this came to be mine but it was this [TS]

00:14:51   portable color TV and whenever someone [TS]

00:14:54   would get whenever someone we knew would [TS]

00:14:55   get sick or a relative would be [TS]

00:14:57   bedridden my mom would like poke me in [TS]

00:15:01   the ribs and say offer them your TV [TS]

00:15:05   and I would loan my portable color TV [TS]

00:15:08   which of course i had no independent [TS]

00:15:11   control over my it's not going to go [TS]

00:15:12   turn it on and watch it my mom would [TS]

00:15:14   have been like there was TV time in our [TS]

00:15:16   house and it was two hours long on [TS]

00:15:19   tuesdays and thursdays but anyway that i [TS]

00:15:22   would i would plenary list the new [TS]

00:15:24   Anderson Mike Douglas and then we turn [TS]

00:15:25   it off then you turn it off and you get [TS]

00:15:28   one scoop of ice cream one scoop of [TS]

00:15:30   vanilla ice cream and then to bed but uh [TS]

00:15:32   but i would carry this color TV out to [TS]

00:15:35   the car we would at it I would sit next [TS]

00:15:37   to it on the back seat we would drive it [TS]

00:15:39   over to whatever infirm person it was [TS]

00:15:42   that wasn't lucky enough to have a TV [TS]

00:15:44   whether this is the thing because a TV [TS]

00:15:46   was something that sat in the living [TS]

00:15:47   room and they were in bed right and it [TS]

00:15:50   was it was it was at that I don't you [TS]

00:15:52   talk about being a kid so I can relate [TS]

00:15:54   it was it was always it was weird when [TS]

00:15:56   you started meeting people that have [TS]

00:15:57   more than one TV [TS]

00:15:58   it seemed really mean it always seemed [TS]

00:16:01   like you were really rich if you had a [TS]

00:16:02   color TV if you have to color TVs was [TS]

00:16:04   back then you had a TV in your living [TS]

00:16:06   room that was a piece of furniture and [TS]

00:16:08   then in maybe like a den or family room [TS]

00:16:11   you would have usually a crappy [TS]

00:16:14   black-and-white TV on a TV table [TS]

00:16:17   uh-huh you get out you get from S&H [TS]

00:16:19   Green Stamps and have wheels and you put [TS]

00:16:22   your TV guides and whatnot underneath [TS]

00:16:23   and pictures what you're right and it's [TS]

00:16:26   not only were the first person I met [TS]

00:16:28   that had two tvs i think that i think it [TS]

00:16:30   was into the eighties before I knew [TS]

00:16:32   somebody that had two tvs well i think [TS]

00:16:35   but except for except for this this [TS]

00:16:37   color portable TV that that's very [TS]

00:16:40   costly John that's a very that's a heck [TS]

00:16:42   of an item you had their oh and it was a [TS]

00:16:44   prized possession and I don't like I say [TS]

00:16:46   it's not like I tried to give up your [TS]

00:16:48   toothbrush or something right that right [TS]

00:16:50   in the car must've been awful [TS]

00:16:52   well but the thing is i felt like i was [TS]

00:16:54   doing it this was the kind of good deed [TS]

00:16:56   Samaritan kind of thing that was [TS]

00:16:59   instilled in me by my parents like you [TS]

00:17:01   are doing a good thing you're taking [TS]

00:17:03   this TV to help a sick person and I [TS]

00:17:06   would sit i would sit proudly in the [TS]

00:17:07   backseat and think i am like a doctor [TS]

00:17:12   I am a doctor of TV have a cup color TV [TS]

00:17:15   delivery and you know and the little [TS]

00:17:17   lady we'd set the TV up on her on her [TS]

00:17:20   dinner tray and she's like oh thank you [TS]

00:17:22   so much i'll that's so good [TS]

00:17:24   what a nice TV must seem like magic boy [TS]

00:17:29   hmm i was always enemies i was i was [TS]

00:17:32   filled with any as a child I was not I [TS]

00:17:33   was not generous like that is alright [TS]

00:17:36   well no I was I was we didn't have a lot [TS]

00:17:38   and I was selfish about what we had yeah [TS]

00:17:40   and I really really really really [TS]

00:17:42   intense i really like TV like if we want [TS]

00:17:45   to load of crock pot I'd be like more [TS]

00:17:47   power to em oh I'm not gonna miss that [TS]

00:17:49   let's start getting happy days on the [TS]

00:17:51   crockpot you're good to go [TS]

00:17:53   I think I think if I was ungenerous with [TS]

00:17:56   my things my mom would take it away from [TS]

00:17:59   me if I was like now it's mine should be [TS]

00:18:01   like now it's nobody's she really do [TS]

00:18:04   that one [TS]

00:18:06   one time this is still a traumatic [TS]

00:18:08   memory for me sometime [TS]

00:18:11   she was always she's always trying to [TS]

00:18:12   get me to clean my room and I was one of [TS]

00:18:14   those kind of passive kids that was like [TS]

00:18:16   I'm gonna do it I'll do it in a second [TS]

00:18:19   and she came in and she was like I said [TS]

00:18:21   clean your room [TS]

00:18:22   oh yeah I was just about to do it and I [TS]

00:18:25   could keep that game going for six [TS]

00:18:27   months [TS]

00:18:28   I'm just about to do it and one time I [TS]

00:18:35   put all my toys in the closet just kind [TS]

00:18:38   of stuff them in the closet and shut the [TS]

00:18:40   door and my mom came in she was like you [TS]

00:18:43   cleaned your room and I was like yeah [TS]

00:18:44   she said good boy you know and actually [TS]

00:18:49   gave me like a reward praise which I [TS]

00:18:53   received knowing i did not deserve it [TS]

00:18:56   and then later I was out running around [TS]

00:19:00   the neighborhood and she went in my room [TS]

00:19:02   and opened the closet door and [TS]

00:19:03   discovered that I had stacked on my toys [TS]

00:19:06   in the closet and her response was that [TS]

00:19:09   she climbed in the closet and jumped up [TS]

00:19:11   and down until the biggest piece of toy [TS]

00:19:15   was like the size of a of a Roosevelt [TS]

00:19:20   haha that's completely bananas she cheat [TS]

00:19:24   demolished them and these were models i [TS]

00:19:26   built these were like that's that's [TS]

00:19:29   psychotic john and i like it like that a [TS]

00:19:32   lot [TS]

00:19:33   well not a lot this was this made quite [TS]

00:19:35   a shame we need to [TS]

00:19:36   yeah that's right you don't have to do [TS]

00:19:38   that one destination and she was like [TS]

00:19:40   you know and i think what she was she [TS]

00:19:42   was maddest that I had that I had misled [TS]

00:19:48   her that I had portrayed the room as [TS]

00:19:51   being clean and had accepted the [TS]

00:19:54   congratulations and she was like this is [TS]

00:19:57   what happens it is that all toys become [TS]

00:20:01   atomized and and now or now we're going [TS]

00:20:06   to start over now we're gonna start [TS]

00:20:08   start at the beginning and maybe you'll [TS]

00:20:10   get a toy Christmas also home i just [TS]

00:20:13   learned well I don't think I could do [TS]

00:20:17   that i was going to screw with my kid a [TS]

00:20:19   little bit on with stuff like that but I [TS]

00:20:21   would never actually like break them [TS]

00:20:23   wow yeah yeah well it made it had an [TS]

00:20:26   impact on it was a different time you [TS]

00:20:28   know we-we-we-we the Soviets were right [TS]

00:20:31   over the horizon because they don't [TS]

00:20:33   understand they don't get around to [TS]

00:20:35   listen more serious time it was you [TS]

00:20:37   could make models but you you sure ship [TS]

00:20:40   better put them in the right place when [TS]

00:20:41   the maid [TS]

00:20:42   that's exactly right compromise with [TS]

00:20:44   heartbroken well I was but the lesson I [TS]

00:20:47   think of the long-term lesson was don't [TS]

00:20:50   get attached to stuff [TS]

00:20:51   yeah and that's otherwise well it is [TS]

00:20:54   except that right I'm said I'm speaking [TS]

00:20:56   to you now live from a room bet that [TS]

00:21:00   looks like an outtake from storage wars [TS]

00:21:03   where where the guy emptied out of like [TS]

00:21:07   a 50-foot storage container full of [TS]

00:21:09   broken music equipment and old hats [TS]

00:21:12   it's you're like the end of Citizen Kane [TS]

00:21:15   except you've actually taken everything [TS]

00:21:16   out of all the boxes [TS]

00:21:17   yeah yeah I I made a terrible mistake [TS]

00:21:21   a few years ago when my one my sort of a [TS]

00:21:24   casual hobby of popping into thrift [TS]

00:21:28   stores and browsing around looking for a [TS]

00:21:31   couple of choice items became a [TS]

00:21:34   dedicated pursuit of thrifting as a as a [TS]

00:21:41   way of keeping the demon dogs off my [TS]

00:21:43   trail [TS]

00:21:44   you know what I mean like other this is [TS]

00:21:47   a formulation that I that I use a lot [TS]

00:21:49   but I feel like everybody's got their [TS]

00:21:52   not everybody there are some people with [TS]

00:21:54   no demon dogs at all but those of us [TS]

00:21:55   that have demon dogs nipping at our [TS]

00:21:57   heels we do things to put to keep them [TS]

00:22:01   at bay and and at a certain point I put [TS]

00:22:04   all my demon dog eggs in the basket that [TS]

00:22:10   i bought at a thrift store [TS]

00:22:11   ok I the thrift store basket that i [TS]

00:22:13   bought at the store and I go to them now [TS]

00:22:15   as a form of retail therapy and there's [TS]

00:22:18   a form of like it's that it is i use it [TS]

00:22:22   like other people use going to the [TS]

00:22:24   movies or eating it's a kind of [TS]

00:22:27   entertainment i go and i study and I paw [TS]

00:22:30   through these bins and the inevitable [TS]

00:22:34   consequence of that is that little by [TS]

00:22:37   little and I mean I don't I often go to [TS]

00:22:39   a thrift store don't buy a thing but [TS]

00:22:40   little by little I have filled up my [TS]

00:22:43   house with crap other people's to try to [TS]

00:22:47   us and and and i had its bits untenable [TS]

00:22:54   but particularly because having bought [TS]

00:22:57   all this stuff at thrift stores i know [TS]

00:22:58   it is I know the crevices are packed [TS]

00:23:01   with other people's dander you know what [TS]

00:23:04   you know most of these things have not [TS]

00:23:06   been properly deed and word well I mean [TS]

00:23:08   I try and be damned to them as much as [TS]

00:23:09   you can but at but as you know i mean [TS]

00:23:11   there's a little bit of there's a little [TS]

00:23:13   bit of DNA left [TS]

00:23:16   on a lot of this stuff i have i have to [TS]

00:23:18   guess you know [TS]

00:23:20   yeah I found I found a couple of leather [TS]

00:23:21   leather bound leather-coated globe [TS]

00:23:27   bookends that look like ye oldie globes [TS]

00:23:30   that our book ends [TS]

00:23:33   they're covered with dander i bet i read [TS]

00:23:36   a thing of the day about how people in [TS]

00:23:37   England don't wash their hands like 14 [TS]

00:23:39   people in England has poop on their [TS]

00:23:40   hands and about how even just like [TS]

00:23:43   entering a room like there's elements of [TS]

00:23:46   your personal dander that can be in that [TS]

00:23:47   room for like weeks you know [TS]

00:23:51   so let me just say this I i see i have [TS]

00:23:54   my own diamond dogs my own heels and so [TS]

00:23:57   I appreciate this i think for me right [TS]

00:23:58   now that's comics but politics but what [TS]

00:24:00   you're talking about [TS]

00:24:01   I see the appeal of this in so many ways [TS]

00:24:03   just on an existential level I mean [TS]

00:24:05   first of all there's the thing of like [TS]

00:24:07   will retail therapy as you say like you [TS]

00:24:08   but you're not going to find like you [TS]

00:24:10   know coach purses or something you're [TS]

00:24:12   not going out and saying I just need to [TS]

00:24:13   spend four hundred dollars to feel whole [TS]

00:24:15   today is much more complex than that [TS]

00:24:17   because you've also introduced a [TS]

00:24:19   discriminating taste you've introduced [TS]

00:24:22   not chance exactly but it's obviously an [TS]

00:24:26   element of treasure hunting or training [TS]

00:24:28   no absolutely but this is the the big [TS]

00:24:30   thing of it anything i mean like it's [TS]

00:24:32   coming with me my comics I like just [TS]

00:24:33   like leaf and through them and [TS]

00:24:34   organizing to do not kind of stuff we [TS]

00:24:36   should get to do and you know d-dan [TS]

00:24:37   during but but but there's also when you [TS]

00:24:40   get into that if you're honest about it [TS]

00:24:42   i think it becomes like in it if you're [TS]

00:24:45   honest with yourself you realize there's [TS]

00:24:46   some puzzle like you don't have the [TS]

00:24:49   cover of the box you all you know is [TS]

00:24:51   that there are pieces of some puzzle [TS]

00:24:53   that you're discovering and you're not [TS]

00:24:55   even sure what puzzle it goes to but [TS]

00:24:57   somehow this piece feels right and this [TS]

00:25:00   piece does not but I'm going to put it [TS]

00:25:02   over here just in case it and and I [TS]

00:25:04   think that's what happens when you [TS]

00:25:05   become a collector and you become like [TS]

00:25:07   you know a thrifty shopper i think you [TS]

00:25:10   get into a groove you talked about this [TS]

00:25:12   with one of your ladies who was like a [TS]

00:25:14   like a serious like hardcore through [TS]

00:25:16   shopper and that the types that do this [TS]

00:25:18   but I think there's an existential [TS]

00:25:19   puzzle that you're probably [TS]

00:25:21   unintentionally trying to solve well in [TS]

00:25:24   there is an atom and i remember when i [TS]

00:25:26   crossed the threshold of having [TS]

00:25:28   more than 40 brass candlesticks the [TS]

00:25:32   people in my life closest to me started [TS]

00:25:35   to they started to do that little [TS]

00:25:37   side-to-side dance where that people do [TS]

00:25:41   right before they're going to stage an [TS]

00:25:42   intervention [TS]

00:25:43   you know like doing that dance a lot hi [TS]

00:25:45   god hi oh what is what's in the bag [TS]

00:25:49   o.o more candlesticks and I was like [TS]

00:25:53   yeah check this one out [TS]

00:25:55   this one's like clearly a hundred and [TS]

00:25:57   ten years old you know and and they were [TS]

00:25:59   just they were just about to intervene [TS]

00:26:01   and say listen this is something wrong [TS]

00:26:03   with you that you have this many [TS]

00:26:04   candlesticks and and I reached up I [TS]

00:26:07   reached a point where I had every brass [TS]

00:26:11   candlestick that I I had every kind of [TS]

00:26:15   brass candlestick that I could think of [TS]

00:26:17   and I started to go to thrift stores and [TS]

00:26:20   I would see I would see racks of the [TS]

00:26:21   brass candlesticks and I would just be [TS]

00:26:23   like those are junk [TS]

00:26:25   I don't need any of that and I haven't [TS]

00:26:27   bought a brass candlestick in two years [TS]

00:26:29   hot so the puzzle the puzzle is complete [TS]

00:26:31   as was completed and i have no idea what [TS]

00:26:34   candlestick it was that i finally got [TS]

00:26:36   that was like AHA there it is the [TS]

00:26:39   missing one so it isn't it isn't a thing [TS]

00:26:41   where you have to have every brass [TS]

00:26:43   candlestick you find it isn't that [TS]

00:26:45   you've got to like you know go to a [TS]

00:26:47   drive to different towns to make sure [TS]

00:26:49   that this one you know whatever you know [TS]

00:26:52   making 38 superman comic version of a [TS]

00:26:55   candlestick is out there and you [TS]

00:26:58   they came along and you realize now what [TS]

00:27:00   about the other things globes are you [TS]

00:27:01   are you where you need to be with globes [TS]

00:27:03   you think I'm where I need to be if i [TS]

00:27:05   see i saw globally other day that was [TS]

00:27:07   that was pretty cool 80 years old and [TS]

00:27:12   very very weathered and that the patina [TS]

00:27:15   was what made it cool but as I looked at [TS]

00:27:18   it I realized no it's not it does it [TS]

00:27:21   again like you're saying it is not the [TS]

00:27:24   shape the puzzle shape that I need to [TS]

00:27:27   fit into you know like that all of these [TS]

00:27:29   collections are everything that I that I [TS]

00:27:32   that i acquire like they're there is a [TS]

00:27:35   docking port still open for the next [TS]

00:27:39   cool thing [TS]

00:27:40   but but i but I've never been a [TS]

00:27:42   completist like I need to have every [TS]

00:27:44   issue or I need to have every one of a [TS]

00:27:47   certain kind of thing its I'm looking [TS]

00:27:48   for I'm looking I'm looking for things [TS]

00:27:49   that's a different kind of collecting [TS]

00:27:51   OCD probably yeah yeah I don't know I [TS]

00:27:54   don't know what it is but but i think [TS]

00:27:55   what needs to happen [TS]

00:27:56   the other thing is that I I because I [TS]

00:27:58   find these things for very very cheap [TS]

00:28:01   i I'm so reluctant to sell them that's [TS]

00:28:03   going to say I mean some people who are [TS]

00:28:05   not hoarders but the collectors they'll [TS]

00:28:09   start kind of saying all the way this is [TS]

00:28:10   how much space I have for my collection [TS]

00:28:12   right be public [TS]

00:28:13   this is an area where i put stuff that's [TS]

00:28:15   you know what museum right you don't [TS]

00:28:17   have everything on display all the time [TS]

00:28:18   but you know that in this box [TS]

00:28:20   these are my other 14 iron man figures [TS]

00:28:22   right whatever and then you get a new [TS]

00:28:24   iron man figure that's really cool and [TS]

00:28:26   like you might take your least cool iron [TS]

00:28:28   man figure and get rid of it would sell [TS]

00:28:31   it off or like you know take the least [TS]

00:28:32   interesting one of the box and sell that [TS]

00:28:33   you know what I mean where you've got [TS]

00:28:34   but this question of value is at the [TS]

00:28:37   heart of the thing you know because I go [TS]

00:28:40   to a place and there and this thing is [TS]

00:28:41   fifty cents but i know it's worth fifty [TS]

00:28:43   dollars and then I get it and bring it [TS]

00:28:45   home and put it on the summer but did [TS]

00:28:48   the desk and I go that's worth fifty [TS]

00:28:49   dollars and i got it for 50 cents but I [TS]

00:28:52   don't really think it's worth fifty [TS]

00:28:53   dollars because i got it for 50 cents to [TS]

00:28:57   sell it for fifty dollars feels a lot [TS]

00:29:02   wrong but it cheapens the i would much [TS]

00:29:08   rather take that take the things that I [TS]

00:29:10   am done with that the the Iron Man [TS]

00:29:12   figure that is the least important to me [TS]

00:29:13   and just put it back into the river just [TS]

00:29:16   take it down to the thrift store in a [TS]

00:29:18   box and give it back to the the thrift [TS]

00:29:21   store because somebody else cuz somebody [TS]

00:29:22   will want that absolutely yeah and I [TS]

00:29:24   feel like the thrift store maybe that [TS]

00:29:25   maybe somebody else's puzzle piece [TS]

00:29:27   it's kind of a guy figure it's like a [TS]

00:29:30   it's a mother earth and the mother earth [TS]

00:29:32   you know has these big forested teats [TS]

00:29:36   but she provides man to us through [TS]

00:29:42   and uh and part of that mana is this [TS]

00:29:46   constant steady flow of brass tchotchkes [TS]

00:29:49   that but issue forth from her teats and [TS]

00:29:55   so I then she'd probably have that [TS]

00:29:58   looked at [TS]

00:29:58   I take the I take the Cornucopia that I [TS]

00:30:02   have unloaded and I fill it up with with [TS]

00:30:05   old stuff and I take it back to the [TS]

00:30:07   mother Gaia food store it's a lot of [TS]

00:30:10   metaphors on m-i-a m-i-a slow i've heard [TS]

00:30:17   people say I've heard it is said that [TS]

00:30:19   that if you are truly a collector is it [TS]

00:30:23   only becomes a collection when you have [TS]

00:30:24   more than two and you put them somewhere [TS]

00:30:26   and take care of them right so so this [TS]

00:30:29   is what really not a collector of wives [TS]

00:30:32   every variety and I think you failed at [TS]

00:30:35   every every test on that was about to [TS]

00:30:38   take care of it [TS]

00:30:39   what a public put it somewhere why would [TS]

00:30:42   I tell my responsibility to what I tell [TS]

00:30:44   anybody who that is that's weird but you [TS]

00:30:48   know and and select example my friend [TS]

00:30:50   down my very good friend Dennis get part [TS]

00:30:52   back in Florida very very interesting [TS]

00:30:54   guy i mention into you [TS]

00:30:55   he um he was very tidy [TS]

00:30:59   he had very you know he kept treasure [TS]

00:31:01   everything that he had and didn't have [TS]

00:31:03   things he didn't treasure you know he's [TS]

00:31:05   not one of those guys you know there's [TS]

00:31:06   guys who buy 25 pairs of shoes and [TS]

00:31:08   they're all over the floor or the [TS]

00:31:10   schedule 25 pairs of shoes and they're [TS]

00:31:12   all in plexiglass like you would have [TS]

00:31:13   five well-maintained pairs of shoes like [TS]

00:31:15   a general I admire that I admire that I [TS]

00:31:17   think that's the way to be absolutely [TS]

00:31:18   and in Dennis was i believe of the one [TS]

00:31:21   in one out school so it's not really was [TS]

00:31:24   but to curate your belongings [TS]

00:31:26   yeah it's an art it's absolutely an arch [TS]

00:31:29   when they're so here's my dad look to [TS]

00:31:31   Dennis as a paragon of so many things we [TS]

00:31:33   went to college together and eventually [TS]

00:31:34   roommates in florida and in Tallahassee [TS]

00:31:36   but one of the best guys I've ever known [TS]

00:31:39   and he collected many interesting things [TS]

00:31:41   he collected before it was fashionable [TS]

00:31:43   ironic he collected like neurons [TS]

00:31:49   that old coed orbs that he would collect [TS]

00:31:54   for example like which michael outsider [TS]

00:31:56   art which in this case it was like [TS]

00:31:57   things people have painted themselves [TS]

00:31:59   that he found at shirt that's rich [TS]

00:32:01   ground into the talent there and well [TS]

00:32:03   now it's a thing but never what he [TS]

00:32:05   collected his primary collection and I [TS]

00:32:07   knew this when we went to college [TS]

00:32:08   together and I'd heard about it and the [TS]

00:32:09   first time I saw it first I met Dennis [TS]

00:32:11   he's probably 62 and was wearing [TS]

00:32:14   overalls [TS]

00:32:15   he's from Arkansas is very colorful [TS]

00:32:17   guide i like this guy very interesting [TS]

00:32:19   guy now works on Wall Street and but he [TS]

00:32:22   has that he collects now when I say that [TS]

00:32:24   he collects ETS that your first thought [TS]

00:32:27   might be out he goes out and he gets [TS]

00:32:29   like little ET figurines and he's got a [TS]

00:32:30   hundred of them on ourself know that was [TS]

00:32:32   my first thought was your first thought [TS]

00:32:33   as you do but he doesn't just collect [TS]

00:32:36   eighties he he did in he collects like [TS]

00:32:39   ceramic et's he creates et's that people [TS]

00:32:43   have like made out of craft projects but [TS]

00:32:45   he only collects unlicensed like [TS]

00:32:49   homemade ceramic m├ętis this is like the [TS]

00:32:53   UH the velvet painting of Elvis that is [TS]

00:32:56   done really badly all the way they look [TS]

00:32:58   a lot of 5 second mix but the thing is [TS]

00:33:01   it's not really just purely ironic he [TS]

00:33:03   really genuinely loves these things any [TS]

00:33:06   but the thing is he's got like eight or [TS]

00:33:07   nine of them huh [TS]

00:33:08   however it is greatly because it walk [TS]

00:33:10   you walk in the house and always ETS [TS]

00:33:11   were in a cabinet in our in the corner [TS]

00:33:13   but like the nice thing is now he's [TS]

00:33:15   collected TTYL company almost really [TS]

00:33:17   cool you got like a hundred eighties and [TS]

00:33:19   I look at that one that one's got a [TS]

00:33:20   little nick on it looks like a kid bit [TS]

00:33:21   that one no these are all incredibly [TS]

00:33:23   fucked up looking because et is super [TS]

00:33:25   weird looking to begin with but these [TS]

00:33:27   are like painted their could look like [TS]

00:33:28   maybe special people made them and [TS]

00:33:30   they're all super shiny because they're [TS]

00:33:32   like ceramic now I admire this guy I was [TS]

00:33:36   nothing like a little been real easy for [TS]

00:33:37   him to go i collect ET stuff and then [TS]

00:33:40   he's just a weirdo with a bunch of stuff [TS]

00:33:41   in boxes but he is a collection it's [TS]

00:33:43   taken him 30 years to put together and [TS]

00:33:46   it's got like nine items in it right he [TS]

00:33:48   still because you know it's hard it's [TS]

00:33:50   hard hard over the years to find a good [TS]

00:33:52   outside ret but that's the kind of [TS]

00:33:54   collecting I admire because he goes to [TS]

00:33:56   thrift stores will get things going to [TS]

00:33:58   get rid of other things but to me that's [TS]

00:34:00   like that's a gentleman [TS]

00:34:01   if you're collecting off-brand you know [TS]

00:34:04   unlicensed ets and then displaying them [TS]

00:34:07   that my name was the name for the [TS]

00:34:09   Japanese a little little porcelain [TS]

00:34:13   figures that that are that are sort of a [TS]

00:34:19   a a big a big part of of Japanese [TS]

00:34:23   culture I mean I guess every every [TS]

00:34:25   little cherries little tchotchke is a [TS]

00:34:27   kind of part of just the kind of like [TS]

00:34:29   rock around like we like a labels on aI [TS]

00:34:33   don't think they are there weebles [TS]

00:34:36   exactly [TS]

00:34:37   no I don't think I know this now there [TS]

00:34:39   that there was a book about the notes [TS]

00:34:41   racist it looks like food my kid loves [TS]

00:34:42   those racers that look like food huge [TS]

00:34:45   you know another guy like that is Scott [TS]

00:34:48   plot the drummer of built to spill in in [TS]

00:34:51   in in seattle every restaurant you walk [TS]

00:34:55   into has an ironic collection of bad [TS]

00:34:56   paintings on the wall seven hundred [TS]

00:34:58   dollars each [TS]

00:34:59   but Scott has this collection of of [TS]

00:35:03   portraits naive portrait CA in a room in [TS]

00:35:07   his house you walk in and and and you [TS]

00:35:09   look at the wall and your first thought [TS]

00:35:10   is like oh it's like it's like a hipster [TS]

00:35:12   bar anywhere in the Northwest where [TS]

00:35:14   there's a bunch of thrift store [TS]

00:35:16   paintings but then as you look at the [TS]

00:35:19   paintings one after another he realized [TS]

00:35:21   that he probably has eight of them and [TS]

00:35:25   there is no way but that they represent [TS]

00:35:28   a lifetime of cultivating this [TS]

00:35:31   collection because each one of these [TS]

00:35:34   paintings that are there clearly thrift [TS]

00:35:36   store paintings each one of them is the [TS]

00:35:38   greatest gift or painting you ever saw [TS]

00:35:41   likelike well-executed incredible not [TS]

00:35:44   just well executed but like captures an [TS]

00:35:47   ineffable ineffable aspect of human the [TS]

00:35:52   human condition [TS]

00:35:53   you know I mean like each portrait is [TS]

00:35:55   not just a great representation of a [TS]

00:35:56   person but also like our an actual work [TS]

00:36:00   of art that by the by the style and by [TS]

00:36:03   the frame you know was also found for a [TS]

00:36:05   dollar by someone and the only way to [TS]

00:36:09   have those eight paintings together in a [TS]

00:36:11   room is to have [TS]

00:36:13   your self bought and have been given [TS]

00:36:17   four hundred paintings in the course of [TS]

00:36:18   your life and you got rid of 392 of them [TS]

00:36:23   Wow in order to have in order to have [TS]

00:36:26   these eight you know like some such he's [TS]

00:36:29   just use the magnet but he's also he has [TS]

00:36:31   this incredible aesthetic and he's a [TS]

00:36:33   drummer so I mean you know it's not like [TS]

00:36:34   it is really overcome a lot [TS]

00:36:36   you never you never know it by looking [TS]

00:36:38   at it but oh my god this collection of [TS]

00:36:41   paintings belongs in a museum and [TS]

00:36:43   infected it is houses like that some guy [TS]

00:36:46   I really admire that you could you could [TS]

00:36:49   do that now this could be a project [TS]

00:36:50   here's the other thing i don't like is a [TS]

00:36:51   demon dogs like with me IM with comics [TS]

00:36:54   it's easy because there's always another [TS]

00:36:56   comic you need to fill in this part to [TS]

00:36:59   learn this part and I within me that [TS]

00:37:00   with me this is so simple because I [TS]

00:37:02   could just buy it online and get it off [TS]

00:37:03   the internet or whatever but in your [TS]

00:37:05   case I mean you you have puzzles inside [TS]

00:37:08   of puzzles [TS]

00:37:08   yeah I need to get I think I think the [TS]

00:37:10   next puzzle for me is the puzzle of of [TS]

00:37:13   getting rid of stuff it is the it's the [TS]

00:37:15   agony and the ecstasy idea of chipping [TS]

00:37:18   away all the stone that isn't [TS]

00:37:20   Michelangelo's David I need to get ready [TS]

00:37:24   but happy that you should check you [TS]

00:37:25   people look I do have the agony and the [TS]

00:37:27   ecstasy in here somewhere [TS]

00:37:28   now between you might have David you [TS]

00:37:30   know might be inside some that dander [TS]

00:37:32   sandwich between the joys of the year [TS]

00:37:34   edition American aircraft world war two [TS]

00:37:36   volume 1i yeah like I'm just looking at [TS]

00:37:40   my bookshelves now and i'm thinking i [TS]

00:37:43   have a lot of books and ninety percent [TS]

00:37:46   of them could go into a pyre and the [TS]

00:37:50   remaining ten percent would be an [TS]

00:37:53   awesome collection of books but oh [TS]

00:37:56   that's too much to take on i'm i'm at [TS]

00:37:58   did I mention I'm a really busy guy [TS]

00:38:00   right now [TS]

00:38:00   yeah is it busy with our thing oh that [TS]

00:38:04   among other things you know I made a [TS]

00:38:05   Christmas record with jonathan coulton [TS]

00:38:07   is touring on that we're doing a tour in [TS]

00:38:11   the in the in the winter [TS]

00:38:13   and i'm going back to max funcom this [TS]

00:38:16   weekend to a light see this is okay [TS]

00:38:20   here's the thing [TS]

00:38:21   now you and I slackers like us we can [TS]

00:38:22   sit and talk about how we're busy but [TS]

00:38:24   let's be honest I mean most of the time [TS]

00:38:26   not now most of the time we're busy with [TS]

00:38:28   stuff that nobody could fucking give a [TS]

00:38:30   shit about and wouldn't know if it never [TS]

00:38:31   happened correct for me i can go around [TS]

00:38:33   this thing i really wanted to do or [TS]

00:38:35   there's this you know there's no public [TS]

00:38:37   humiliation involved if it's a day late [TS]

00:38:40   but it sounds like you've got time [TS]

00:38:43   sensitive stuff where you really are [TS]

00:38:44   busy like a fucking normal man i'm busy [TS]

00:38:46   i have to get on an airplane [TS]

00:38:48   you gotta get a couple airplanes don't [TS]

00:38:50   you and I have to have that stuff done [TS]

00:38:51   so yes and and all get your car yet a [TS]

00:38:54   car yet craft services gotta do that i'm [TS]

00:38:56   flying continental Europe in November [TS]

00:38:58   i'm doing some shows i'm a this I'm and [TS]

00:39:03   performing in a reenactment of the last [TS]

00:39:05   waltz in San Francisco [TS]

00:39:08   what is not thanksgiving the end of [TS]

00:39:11   november that's very close to [TS]

00:39:12   thanksgiving my god and all of these [TS]

00:39:16   things those who do you play [TS]

00:39:17   I'm going to be Neil Diamond what is he [TS]

00:39:23   saying [TS]

00:39:23   danke what is it what does he sing in [TS]

00:39:25   the last lots of all the ones that come [TS]

00:39:29   out even more than that he sings Ricky [TS]

00:39:32   don't lose that number by and live know [TS]

00:39:41   what you want [TS]

00:39:44   even though the song would not come out [TS]

00:39:50   for another five years but it's one of [TS]

00:39:52   these things where I where we're all the [TS]

00:39:54   things that I have to do they're all [TS]

00:39:55   stacking up so so I fly to fly to [TS]

00:39:58   edinburgh scotland and then I go to [TS]

00:40:03   Ireland and then I flight back from [TS]

00:40:06   Ireland to San Francisco where I play a [TS]

00:40:08   show the next night and then i applied [TS]

00:40:09   from there to san diego where I join [TS]

00:40:11   Jonathan Coulton for a tour across [TS]

00:40:13   America that would but which ends in [TS]

00:40:16   just the last tour this is a bendy [TS]

00:40:18   jonathan coulton as a bus so [TS]

00:40:20   so it's gonna be like so he is so sweet [TS]

00:40:25   well it's sweet except as you know I am [TS]

00:40:26   an oversized person [TS]

00:40:28   well compared to y mano [TS]

00:40:32   you mean the normal person to partner [TS]

00:40:33   compared to a rivers cuomo yeah I am an [TS]

00:40:38   oversized person even tell box compared [TS]

00:40:41   to Daniel Craig James Bond who i am a [TS]

00:40:44   normal time I'm an oversized person [TS]

00:40:46   because he is a he is not a big person [TS]

00:40:48   is that right yeah because you see these [TS]

00:40:50   pictures of him walking the red carpet [TS]

00:40:52   next to his leading lady whom you know [TS]

00:40:55   to be five foot to right and he is the [TS]

00:40:59   same height itself right yeah yeah you [TS]

00:41:02   know Mom movie actors they did they [TS]

00:41:04   don't want to be too big because they [TS]

00:41:05   make everybody else looking for Cogar [TS]

00:41:06   was pretty short to a very small feat do [TS]

00:41:09   crack is 5 10 [TS]

00:41:11   no he's not that's a total publicist lie [TS]

00:41:13   you think so honey 510 that's the loan [TS]

00:41:17   baloney [TS]

00:41:19   it's got a nice chased he's a piece of [TS]

00:41:22   handsome man here handsome man's but in [TS]

00:41:24   any case I get onto these I get onto [TS]

00:41:26   these tour buses and I get into the bunk [TS]

00:41:29   which is scale for a normal-size person [TS]

00:41:31   and my toes are touching and my head is [TS]

00:41:34   touching and i feel like i am I feel [TS]

00:41:38   like I'm like I have been put like I've [TS]

00:41:43   been put into a cigar box and i'm about [TS]

00:41:45   to be buried in some kids back and when [TS]

00:41:47   I don't want to bring it up you know [TS]

00:41:48   bring up an old thing but she don't you [TS]

00:41:51   don't like being you don't be buried [TS]

00:41:52   alive if you don't like being in a [TS]

00:41:53   closed space [TS]

00:41:54   no I don't want to be buried alive and I [TS]

00:41:55   don't want to be nobody wants to be [TS]

00:41:57   buried alive right but I really dont [TS]

00:41:59   Germans probably some Germans I want to [TS]

00:42:01   be there are determined called horizon [TS]

00:42:03   but I don't want to be buried alive and [TS]

00:42:06   I don't want to be in a tiny bunk when [TS]

00:42:08   my tour bus rolls on the interstate and [TS]

00:42:11   I'm you know I'm crushed into this space [TS]

00:42:14   that was already too small for me [TS]

00:42:15   so anyway touring touring on a bus is [TS]

00:42:18   that you know it's kind of a mixed bag I [TS]

00:42:19   have slept many many nights on a on a [TS]

00:42:23   like on an open train car hurtling [TS]

00:42:28   through the mountains and I'm more [TS]

00:42:30   comfortable [TS]

00:42:31   on one of those that i am in a bunk on a [TS]

00:42:34   tour bus [TS]

00:42:35   mmm so-so you be driving in a little bit [TS]

00:42:38   know it it's one of those like i know i [TS]

00:42:42   know that i'm going to be tired for six [TS]

00:42:46   weeks and that is absolutely endurable [TS]

00:42:51   considering all the great times the [TS]

00:42:54   wonderful fun times [TS]

00:42:58   mhm will make up for not really getting [TS]

00:43:00   a good night's those people you're gonna [TS]

00:43:02   get to hug a lot of hugs people touching [TS]

00:43:04   you a lot of touching a lot of people a [TS]

00:43:07   lot of people looking at me some people [TS]

00:43:10   looking at their phones i think im gonna [TS]

00:43:12   see a few people to get their phones but [TS]

00:43:14   I like going to the UK I i know that you [TS]

00:43:16   earlier in the show stipulated that that [TS]

00:43:20   one in four people in Britain has pool [TS]

00:43:23   on their hands bad i find i find people [TS]

00:43:26   in the UK are definitely like window [TS]

00:43:29   peepers and panty sniffers but I think [TS]

00:43:34   they're wonderful i love the country and [TS]

00:43:37   i will land and eat and the northern i'm [TS]

00:43:39   not even in Britain i'm in scotland and [TS]

00:43:42   ireland there you know they're wonderful [TS]

00:43:44   people they like the candidate thinking [TS]

00:43:46   right you know the who Scotland him feel [TS]

00:43:48   like the canada of England if canada was [TS]

00:43:51   sparta what's wales as well count is [TS]

00:43:55   that even the country but uh well as a [TS]

00:43:58   country increasingly it is more and more [TS]

00:44:01   country all the time they are regaining [TS]

00:44:03   their autonomy and wales is like I think [TS]

00:44:11   that successive waves of invaders came [TS]

00:44:14   into Wales and the Welsh did their their [TS]

00:44:17   old trick which was to go up in the [TS]

00:44:18   mountains and throw rocks down the old [TS]

00:44:22   last check [TS]

00:44:23   well string of throwing rocks down from [TS]

00:44:24   the mountains and so that it was very [TS]

00:44:27   hard to subdue them because right now [TS]

00:44:29   our berkeley then it's time for her to [TS]

00:44:31   look in the field with the strip [TS]

00:44:34   come with come with me your number what [TS]

00:44:36   you mean worried about the amount of [TS]

00:44:37   throw rocks down [TS]

00:44:38   oh yeah but now they could subdue the [TS]

00:44:41   wealth that that like got caught down [TS]

00:44:44   around the water [TS]

00:44:45   uh-huh but as soon as the as soon as the [TS]

00:44:48   Romans turn their backs of the Britons [TS]

00:44:50   are the Danes turn their backs those [TS]

00:44:52   those walls man went up in the mountains [TS]

00:44:54   and started throwing rocks down on them [TS]

00:44:55   too so I think both of the Welsh in the [TS]

00:44:58   Scots have have that in common at least [TS]

00:45:00   that they were but they were hard hard [TS]

00:45:03   to subdue although the Welsh were [TS]

00:45:04   finally subdued before the Scots well I [TS]

00:45:07   I mean we should probably have an [TS]

00:45:09   offline about some you know we're [TS]

00:45:10   probably have to go on hiatus for a [TS]

00:45:11   little while sounds like you're you're [TS]

00:45:12   gonna be pretty busy but I know we can [TS]

00:45:15   continue to do the podcast will just [TS]

00:45:17   have to do it a holograph for some well [TS]

00:45:19   i have an iphone 5 now [TS]

00:45:22   wow so you don't have a shitty phone [TS]

00:45:25   anymore [TS]

00:45:27   well I'm I you know I'm not prepared to [TS]

00:45:29   say that because I've been trying to use [TS]

00:45:30   my iphone 5 and it did not import all my [TS]

00:45:34   text message history [TS]

00:45:36   you didn't do all these things and so [TS]

00:45:38   I'm like you know I look at I'm looking [TS]

00:45:40   at it across the room she can take [TS]

00:45:41   pictures now right I can take nice [TS]

00:45:43   pictures i can not sure what else that [TS]

00:45:47   allows me to do I can talk to Siri if i [TS]

00:45:49   want to be a little frustrating still [TS]

00:45:53   trying to figure out you know I well I [TS]

00:45:54   think I i think i was prepped for the [TS]

00:45:57   upgrade to be a transformation in my [TS]

00:46:01   life and really it just works like I [TS]

00:46:05   wanted my 3gs to work you know just as [TS]

00:46:08   it's a it's like a 3gs accept it works [TS]

00:46:11   right right right like it works like the [TS]

00:46:13   3gs did when I gotta get all that stuff [TS]

00:46:15   to sing can work together is definitely [TS]

00:46:16   hard part my concern is for your health [TS]

00:46:19   I don't want to ensure i'm worried about [TS]

00:46:21   my I stopped going to lay this out [TS]

00:46:22   I don't want to be controversial worry [TS]

00:46:24   about the poop I don't worry about the [TS]

00:46:26   bunk and and I don't want to get [TS]

00:46:28   stressed bumps i want to make sure that [TS]

00:46:29   you're taking lysine thank you and [TS]

00:46:31   getting sleep when you can [TS]

00:46:33   it's important social bandage on this [TS]

00:46:35   home and Goofy and is coming [TS]

00:46:37   yeah John's band and his and his [TS]

00:46:39   extended staff hanna-barbera cartoon and [TS]

00:46:42   including Jonathan's manager kuma merch [TS]

00:46:45   guy whom you got along with so [TS]

00:46:47   well so please leave when we've mended [TS]

00:46:48   fences okay good [TS]

00:46:50   but anyway Marlon doing the during this [TS]

00:46:52   podcast with you is like a healthful [TS]

00:46:55   draw a draft of of draught how do you [TS]

00:47:01   fucking pronounce that draft of a [TS]

00:47:04   droplet of mead it's a healthy a glass [TS]

00:47:08   of vitamin-enriched Mead honey bear that [TS]

00:47:12   I that I look forward to every week I [TS]

00:47:13   wouldn't i would not i will John if it [TS]

00:47:15   helps are all I i cough deep upon line [TS]

00:47:18   meet ya [TS]

00:47:20   also too I do i do I I don't see any way [TS]

00:47:23   we could possibly do this while you're [TS]

00:47:24   gone I just wanna make sure you take [TS]

00:47:25   care of yourself that's thoughtful right [TS]

00:47:27   I'm serious and also make sure you don't [TS]

00:47:28   get screwed on your phone when you go [TS]

00:47:30   over there without the cleaners over [TS]

00:47:32   there I thought you were going to say [TS]

00:47:33   don't get screwed by jonathan is it was [TS]

00:47:35   a his capitalistic business practices [TS]

00:47:39   I'm I thought you were learning from him [TS]

00:47:42   I thought you were learning how to make [TS]

00:47:43   money from jonathan coulton we are both [TS]

00:47:45   learning how to make money from one [TS]

00:47:46   another [TS]

00:47:47   I really do you do I mean in as much as [TS]

00:47:49   you can say without without making it [TS]

00:47:51   sound like you guys want to make a [TS]

00:47:52   living and I do so you have to help each [TS]

00:47:55   other out you're able to give each other [TS]

00:47:56   notes where the other has shortcomings [TS]

00:47:59   deficits areas for improvement [TS]

00:48:02   well here's the funny thing Jonathan [TS]

00:48:03   Coulton is the person who reinvented the [TS]

00:48:06   music business a few years ago I read [TS]

00:48:08   that in New York Times yeah and then a [TS]

00:48:09   lot of people are like well now the now [TS]

00:48:11   the cat is out of the bag the music [TS]

00:48:14   business is it's all it's all just put [TS]

00:48:17   it on the internet for free and let [TS]

00:48:19   people and then they buy your t-shirt [TS]

00:48:21   problem solved and then three or four [TS]

00:48:23   years went by and everybody went oh [TS]

00:48:25   that's that only a only works for [TS]

00:48:29   jonathan coulton and be increasingly [TS]

00:48:32   like doesn't work for anybody and so my [TS]

00:48:36   experience in the actual music business [TS]

00:48:38   has started to come in handy with us [TS]

00:48:42   because as we as we as we are making a [TS]

00:48:45   christmas record and trying to promote [TS]

00:48:47   it [TS]

00:48:48   we have a guaranteed audience up on one [TS]

00:48:51   hand of people who will buy anything [TS]

00:48:53   jonathan coulton puts out but we want we [TS]

00:48:57   want to get this record into other [TS]

00:48:58   people's hands too [TS]

00:49:00   and just putting it for free on the [TS]

00:49:03   internet doesn't know that isn't really [TS]

00:49:05   enough anymore you know [TS]

00:49:07   so anyway where we are working in [TS]

00:49:10   concert if you will to make money as [TS]

00:49:14   performing artists em changing the game [TS]

00:49:17   it is a game changing change gamer over [TS]

00:49:21   here i had been fun to watch that from [TS]

00:49:24   from sometimes nearby but mostly a [TS]

00:49:26   middle-distance more jonathan is you [TS]

00:49:28   know the poster child for all of this [TS]

00:49:30   stuff and like like anything like this [TS]

00:49:32   so it's it's really it's funny how the [TS]

00:49:35   air of like having democracy in the air [TS]

00:49:37   gets people so excited but then they [TS]

00:49:39   realize it's still really fucking hard [TS]

00:49:40   you know they go over people call like [TS]

00:49:42   oh I would have recorded the song if [TS]

00:49:45   only I had a 64 tracks to do when I get [TS]

00:49:47   a fucking recording studio in your [TS]

00:49:48   pocket like what have you made [TS]

00:49:50   right now or you know what I mean it's [TS]

00:49:52   ago will look at him he's a like he's a [TS]

00:49:53   half million air and all he had to do [TS]

00:49:55   was write a zombie song it's like we [TS]

00:49:57   have only had to do and then there are [TS]

00:49:59   relentlessly and well and and and you [TS]

00:50:03   know and and and ultimately practices [TS]

00:50:06   guitar for 15 years in order to write a [TS]

00:50:08   zombie song oh yeah you know where to [TS]

00:50:10   put the mark on the big machine right [TS]

00:50:12   yeah but yeah I don't know that drives [TS]

00:50:14   me a little crazy because everything has [TS]

00:50:16   been driving me crazy more and more at [TS]

00:50:18   the the product at the proximity that we [TS]

00:50:21   all have two people who never have to [TS]

00:50:26   work again you know you you saw that it [TS]

00:50:29   and and see it all the time in your tech [TS]

00:50:31   world where you know there you have you [TS]

00:50:33   know that many people who never have to [TS]

00:50:35   work again probably half a dozen people [TS]

00:50:37   interrupt but that's a lot you know like [TS]

00:50:39   a half-dozen people who never appeared [TS]

00:50:41   normal people that's fine for Merlin [TS]

00:50:42   that's fine for Merlin but I mean I know [TS]

00:50:45   I half a dozen people in rock and roll [TS]

00:50:47   or a dozen maybe who are you don't have [TS]

00:50:51   to work ever again and uh and now that [TS]

00:50:56   I'm meeting people in Hollywood who [TS]

00:50:57   don't have to work it does a job on you [TS]

00:51:02   it is i'm glad that i didn't go to prep [TS]

00:51:05   school i'm glad i did not meet rich [TS]

00:51:08   people i mean like a [TS]

00:51:11   family money rich be like Burma rich [TS]

00:51:13   people from rich people i'm glad i did [TS]

00:51:15   not know them when i was a young person [TS]

00:51:17   because i think that i think that [TS]

00:51:19   permanently scars you to be around [TS]

00:51:22   people who just were you know never had [TS]

00:51:26   to or have to think about money you [TS]

00:51:29   think so I find them very relaxed [TS]

00:51:32   oh I know but I at least if you have my [TS]

00:51:34   if you have my mind who I would just be [TS]

00:51:39   turning turning turning and and I i [TS]

00:51:44   think i think they basically very [TS]

00:51:46   relaxed it would be me that could never [TS]

00:51:49   relax [TS]

00:51:50   I mean as a as it was growing up sorry [TS]

00:51:52   it if you were permits you never reply [TS]

00:51:54   what if I if I had grown up around [TS]

00:51:56   progress people but was like I am [TS]

00:51:59   oh yeah you're growing up around middle [TS]

00:52:00   class people it's like well I'm all [TS]

00:52:01   we're all gonna have to get a job so [TS]

00:52:03   yeah it's one thing it's one thing to [TS]

00:52:04   have a TV [TS]

00:52:06   it's another thing to have a color TV [TS]

00:52:08   yeah it's nothing that the color TV and [TS]

00:52:10   black-and-white TV it's another thing to [TS]

00:52:11   have five TVs and it's another thing to [TS]

00:52:13   know that if you wanted to you could buy [TS]

00:52:15   every TV [TS]

00:52:16   yeah right order to have or to have [TS]

00:52:18   servants or or what I mean I think our [TS]

00:52:20   friend Shawn Nelson former single-party [TS]

00:52:22   danger he went to a piscul high school [TS]

00:52:25   in Virginia and a lot of his classmates [TS]

00:52:29   like three things about that that are [TS]

00:52:30   rough right a lot of his classmates were [TS]

00:52:33   difficult to fake Catholics right yeah [TS]

00:52:35   fiscal episcopal Tsar the Catholics in a [TS]

00:52:38   and everything but name because of Henry [TS]

00:52:43   VIII 8 before but they were the real [TS]

00:52:47   like sweater not around the next set [TS]

00:52:50   there and Sean although not a poor kid [TS]

00:52:54   did not come from this kind of storybook [TS]

00:52:58   money this like house in Maine built on [TS]

00:53:01   a rock promontory that looks out over a [TS]

00:53:04   you know [TS]

00:53:06   kennebunk head and and you know i think [TS]

00:53:11   it I think that kind of like exposure to [TS]

00:53:13   preppy [TS]

00:53:15   millions do you know it worked its magic [TS]

00:53:19   on him into the sense of feeling on boys [TS]

00:53:24   hard to project like never quite fully [TS]

00:53:27   arrived [TS]

00:53:28   yeah never quite fully realized as a [TS]

00:53:30   person almost i mean i don't know i can [TS]

00:53:33   distract of course [TS]

00:53:35   yeah yeah I had this experience going to [TS]

00:53:37   the HBO emmy party where the guys are [TS]

00:53:39   walking around with in with enemies in [TS]

00:53:41   their hands which are surprisingly big [TS]

00:53:44   statues and after about the 16th guy [TS]

00:53:47   like nebbishy 35 year old guy in a [TS]

00:53:51   tuxedo walked past holding an Emmy I [TS]

00:53:54   started to say where's my fucking enemy [TS]

00:53:57   who I want to Emmy I mean these guys [TS]

00:54:01   aren't any smarter than I am and they [TS]

00:54:03   got an Emmy they're gonna put that any [TS]

00:54:04   up on the mantel and it's going to sit [TS]

00:54:06   there the rest of their lives in the day [TS]

00:54:08   they die [TS]

00:54:09   the first thing that the obituary is [TS]

00:54:12   going to say is that they wanted me you [TS]

00:54:15   know it's a kind of like you got that [TS]

00:54:17   taken care of at least and I think that [TS]

00:54:19   that is a sense of understanding the [TS]

00:54:21   sense of like the can of Patriot past me [TS]

00:54:23   or in the sense of like wow I really [TS]

00:54:25   really want one of those and i'm going [TS]

00:54:27   to work for it [TS]

00:54:28   well that's a that's an excellent [TS]

00:54:29   question I mean I the am I gonna go do I [TS]

00:54:32   wanted me so badly that i'm going to go [TS]

00:54:34   work for one [TS]

00:54:35   no but has the cut as the concept of not [TS]

00:54:38   having an Emmy being a disappointment [TS]

00:54:40   now finish your dates have been [TS]

00:54:41   introduced in my mom yes and so it's [TS]

00:54:44   just it goes back to this question of [TS]

00:54:46   like do I mean to get an Emmy one must [TS]

00:54:50   chase an enemy but it doesn't keep you [TS]

00:54:54   from sitting around kind of you know [TS]

00:54:56   grousing or it internally feeling that [TS]

00:54:59   there is something missing from your [TS]

00:55:01   life for your career and that's why I [TS]

00:55:03   feel like working in LA with peace is so [TS]

00:55:05   even being down there for a week how can [TS]

00:55:07   you be anything but perpetually broken [TS]

00:55:09   it's crazy because you're closer there [TS]

00:55:12   is about how nobody it isn't it seems [TS]

00:55:15   like I apologize in advance to my very [TS]

00:55:17   very good friends who live there but the [TS]

00:55:19   whole culture seems predicated on the [TS]

00:55:21   idea that everybody wants more and [TS]

00:55:24   everybody was to look like they've got [TS]

00:55:25   more than somebody else [TS]

00:55:27   it's perpetually looking over the [TS]

00:55:28   shoulder of the person you're talking to [TS]

00:55:29   you like you know kind of upgrade and [TS]

00:55:32   and it's just you know in San Francisco [TS]

00:55:34   there's douchebag conversations to be [TS]

00:55:36   certain but there's things about like [TS]

00:55:38   what school your kid goes to her stuff [TS]

00:55:39   but i just did the the giantess of of [TS]

00:55:44   class dissatisfaction amongst rich [TS]

00:55:47   people in la is staggering to me it [TS]

00:55:49   seems like everybody wants to be on a [TS]

00:55:50   better VIP list in LA I think that's [TS]

00:55:52   true but I'm lately i have a I've been [TS]

00:55:56   spending a little bit more time down [TS]

00:55:58   there and and interacting with the with [TS]

00:56:00   the creative class which is to say the [TS]

00:56:01   aspirational young people who are trying [TS]

00:56:03   to get their scripts looked at and made [TS]

00:56:06   her and that you know and it's like [TS]

00:56:09   anybody it's like it's like young bands [TS]

00:56:11   that start off and then one of them [TS]

00:56:12   become successful you've got six guys [TS]

00:56:14   sitting around the table [TS]

00:56:15   they're all trying to get their scripts [TS]

00:56:17   made except for this guy over here who [TS]

00:56:18   just won an Oscar and the level of [TS]

00:56:22   achievement the level of possible [TS]

00:56:24   achievement is so is so much greater [TS]

00:56:29   you know like it just seems to me that [TS]

00:56:32   having won an Oscar and I mean this is [TS]

00:56:34   looking at it from the outside once [TS]

00:56:36   you've won an Oscar I guess you have to [TS]

00:56:39   get up the next day and brush your teeth [TS]

00:56:41   and and and you know wipe your butt like [TS]

00:56:44   anybody like I i met Leon courage who [TS]

00:56:48   won an Oscar for toy story 3 and i met [TS]

00:56:51   him in the context of a party where I [TS]

00:56:53   said I was standing there talking to him [TS]

00:56:55   for half an hour before it was made [TS]

00:57:00   known to me by someone else that but he [TS]

00:57:03   had just recently won an Oscar for toy [TS]

00:57:05   story 3 this was last year here before [TS]

00:57:08   and you know he's our age and a super [TS]

00:57:14   nice guy like a mellow dude and he made [TS]

00:57:16   it's not just that he won an Oscar but [TS]

00:57:18   that he made a thing of such consummate [TS]

00:57:21   beauty of my favorite movies of all time [TS]

00:57:23   as toy story 3 [TS]

00:57:24   yes tremendous movie and so all of a [TS]

00:57:26   sudden I'm standing there and I'm saying [TS]

00:57:27   oh you and I have been talking about our [TS]

00:57:29   dads for the last half-hour but right [TS]

00:57:31   now I'm just going to completely switch [TS]

00:57:33   gears and start talking about the [TS]

00:57:34   incredible Holocaust metaphor in the [TS]

00:57:36   form of a children's want to thank that [TS]

00:57:38   job you made but i'm so tired of having [TS]

00:57:41   to a bring that up at a party to be have [TS]

00:57:44   somebody tell me it's not true to see [TS]

00:57:46   then have to make the entire room cry [TS]

00:57:48   after an hour of explaining how toy [TS]

00:57:49   story 3 is about the Holocaust yeah I'm [TS]

00:57:51   so we have discussed this before [TS]

00:57:53   no I don't think so oh this is the thing [TS]

00:57:55   I do it every party it's written in the [TS]

00:57:57   fabric of the movie you can't possibly [TS]

00:57:58   miss that really the fire at the end [TS]

00:57:59   come on [TS]

00:58:00   but behind him in an attic ok if you [TS]

00:58:03   don't cry at the end of toy story 3 then [TS]

00:58:05   your then there's something dead inside [TS]

00:58:07   you [TS]

00:58:07   yeah and I'm saying this to this guy [TS]

00:58:09   like so you made this wonderful thing [TS]

00:58:10   like an amazing thing like a thing a [TS]

00:58:12   thing that has all of the depth and [TS]

00:58:14   breadth of 15 years of the simpsons and [TS]

00:58:19   also like the tragedy of the Russian [TS]

00:58:22   novel yeah right now but it's like it's [TS]

00:58:24   a profound cart it and he's like nah [TS]

00:58:27   thanks man i'm like right well there's [TS]

00:58:29   nothing more for me to say hey about [TS]

00:58:31   that except like high-five and let's [TS]

00:58:35   talk about before we looking for with [TS]

00:58:37   his success musk no no [TS]

00:58:40   but-but-but-but a sense of like well i [TS]

00:58:43   guess i guess the takeaway was a that [TS]

00:58:46   having made a thing like that his only [TS]

00:58:50   thought was about the next thing was [TS]

00:58:51   going to make that's I think that's very [TS]

00:58:53   i'm happy to say that I think that is [TS]

00:58:56   not typical but i think that's one of [TS]

00:58:58   the auditory one of the things I really [TS]

00:59:00   like about people like that is that it [TS]

00:59:03   isn't like they want to arrive and then [TS]

00:59:06   get the statue and run the next thing I [TS]

00:59:08   i have to say a lot of people i know [TS]

00:59:10   work pixar and dreamworks are like this [TS]

00:59:11   they think a lot about like okay well [TS]

00:59:14   you know we got another good one now [TS]

00:59:16   let's make another like now the next [TS]

00:59:17   thing you know they're always working a [TS]

00:59:18   little bit on different projects and [TS]

00:59:20   their car [TS]

00:59:20   it looking you know learning the new [TS]

00:59:22   tools because it's critical to what they [TS]

00:59:24   do and the craftsman you know there are [TS]

00:59:26   people who are just constantly thinking [TS]

00:59:27   about like how do we keep building on [TS]

00:59:29   this and making something great ok now [TS]

00:59:30   we've learned how to do hair now we've [TS]

00:59:32   learned how to do the water now I know [TS]

00:59:34   how to make the hair move with the wind [TS]

00:59:35   and look good when it's wet now we're [TS]

00:59:36   ready to make incredibles now you know [TS]

00:59:38   what I mean it's is as it's a pixar uber [TS]

00:59:41   fan and nerd I have so much respect for [TS]

00:59:44   that process you know what I mean and [TS]

00:59:46   it's eating you can tell it's like you [TS]

00:59:48   know like you say like the fuck stains [TS]

00:59:49   you know who learn guitar to meet girls [TS]

00:59:50   you can it's so distinct and like SI la [TS]

00:59:54   but it's so distinct from this culture [TS]

00:59:56   of like sucking up to the right people [TS]

00:59:58   so you know what this is [TS]

00:59:58   so you know what this is [TS]

01:00:00   kind i'm not gonna say I'm gonna say it [TS]

01:00:01   but there's a meritocracy there is a [TS]

01:00:03   hard place to work everybody's [TS]

01:00:04   constantly kicking your ass to do things [TS]

01:00:07   a hundred times better it's very Steve [TS]

01:00:08   Jobs the kind of company where [TS]

01:00:09   ridiculous perfection is expected of [TS]

01:00:12   everybody and innovation but this is the [TS]

01:00:15   thing that I am carrying around with me [TS]

01:00:16   a lot lately which is that I do not I do [TS]

01:00:19   not locate in myself that drive when I [TS]

01:00:24   search when i searched my C Drive not [TS]

01:00:32   say what files are here bleep blorp do [TS]

01:00:38   not locate motivation to die pond will [TS]

01:00:41   to create a purse and I you know i'm i'm [TS]

01:00:47   searching through all these different [TS]

01:00:48   folders marked like relax chill out take [TS]

01:00:52   a break it [TS]

01:00:54   whatever you know whatever to whatever [TS]

01:00:57   three cats test whatever final final 36 [TS]

01:01:02   and then I was going through I'm just [TS]

01:01:04   going through jpegs at the bed the [TS]

01:01:06   bottom of like whatever whatever [TS]

01:01:08   whatever whatever and then there's a [TS]

01:01:11   jpay dislike and there is idle untitled [TS]

01:01:13   one final seconds into the system is one [TS]

01:01:16   that says just do it [TS]

01:01:18   thumbs up and I clearly eat click on it [TS]

01:01:21   and it's a thumbnail picture so it's [TS]

01:01:23   like 16 by 5i can't even see oh no no no [TS]

01:01:27   yes yes yes and and and you know and I'm [TS]

01:01:31   wondering like I'm wondering if if it's [TS]

01:01:34   just a vitamin T deficit [TS]

01:01:36   yeah or shining Sun but it does not but [TS]

01:01:40   but but all of that does not does not [TS]

01:01:44   give me any relief when I look across [TS]

01:01:46   the room at a at an Emmy Award sitting [TS]

01:01:50   on a table in front of some Schmendrick [TS]

01:01:53   and I think what the fuck what is that [TS]

01:01:57   what I the only way I could deal with [TS]

01:01:59   that demon dogs to stay out of the room [TS]

01:02:01   I just don't enjoy you actually but I'm [TS]

01:02:04   not to talk too much about this but you [TS]

01:02:06   know how I feel about the divide [TS]

01:02:08   mhm I'm uncomfortable with the divide [TS]

01:02:10   and I when I feel myself like moving [TS]

01:02:12   toward this like [TS]

01:02:13   oh there's just more famous person over [TS]

01:02:15   there and well like what the fuck why [TS]

01:02:17   did they want to meet me and what would [TS]

01:02:19   i say if they did and like you know on [TS]

01:02:22   the other hand there might be somebody [TS]

01:02:23   over there that does want to meet me who [TS]

01:02:25   might be really super cool it's just [TS]

01:02:27   that I don't know what their famous [TS]

01:02:28   they're not a famous metric you know and [TS]

01:02:31   and then I always feel like if I do meet [TS]

01:02:32   somebody like the sandwich guy he said [TS]

01:02:34   before sounds really nice i'm just [TS]

01:02:35   really going to like like Dom chris [TS]

01:02:37   farley mode right where it's going to be [TS]

01:02:39   like you know the thing where would he [TS]

01:02:41   writes on the post-it note we never see [TS]

01:02:43   what the address was still in firehouse [TS]

01:02:45   awesome up if you look really close to [TS]

01:02:49   zoom it looks a dinosaur looks a lot [TS]

01:02:51   like a plastic dinosaur [TS]

01:02:53   yeah it's really good how you do that [TS]

01:02:54   yeah that I mean you know i have i have [TS]

01:02:57   the advantage or a or at least the trait [TS]

01:03:01   of feeling like everybody is going to be [TS]

01:03:04   interested in me because i'm passing [TS]

01:03:05   thank you Dad [TS]

01:03:07   so so going into a room full of famous [TS]

01:03:10   people I never feel cowed by it because [TS]

01:03:11   it's no yeah they're going to be [TS]

01:03:13   restarted the whole detected the pole [TS]

01:03:15   that once they start once they really [TS]

01:03:17   start listening to me they're together [TS]

01:03:19   going to stop with looking over my [TS]

01:03:20   shoulder but of course that is that is [TS]

01:03:24   this fallacy of thinking that all it [TS]

01:03:28   takes to rise in the meritocracy is to [TS]

01:03:31   be intrinsically meritorious rather than [TS]

01:03:35   to do good work you know that is the [TS]

01:03:39   that is the fallacy of I think [TS]

01:03:44   always racing partner truth is that in [TS]

01:03:46   LA and this is why I cut myself off [TS]

01:03:48   because I didn't want to like a dick but [TS]

01:03:50   you really do have to know people and [TS]

01:03:52   like you can't freeze a Rolodex you know [TS]

01:03:55   from 1981 and expect to have the same [TS]

01:03:58   level of success today you have to tell [TS]

01:03:59   you you have to know people but you have [TS]

01:04:01   to know things and you have to be [TS]

01:04:02   working your ass off and I you know my [TS]

01:04:04   pic the thing I struggle against is [TS]

01:04:06   walking into a room and feeling like I [TS]

01:04:08   am here and let the awards flow but the [TS]

01:04:13   spice flow awards must throw the and and [TS]

01:04:18   and realizing that you know there are a [TS]

01:04:20   lot of people in this room are just as [TS]

01:04:22   talented who have also been working hard [TS]

01:04:26   and they are they are more deserving and [TS]

01:04:32   that is you know that is a thing that I [TS]

01:04:33   could have tattooed on my fingers and [TS]

01:04:37   look at every day and still not and [TS]

01:04:41   still not feel right now I I totally [TS]

01:04:44   appreciate that [TS]

01:04:45   yeah did you see there's a series Jerry [TS]

01:04:49   Seinfeld does it's called something like [TS]

01:04:51   nothing like getting coffee with [TS]

01:04:54   comedians or something like that [TS]

01:04:55   comedians in cars and something like [TS]

01:04:57   this yeah it's like a Gary Newman song [TS]

01:04:59   yeah what is the deal we are driving in [TS]

01:05:05   cars and the coffee is here [TS]

01:05:07   what's the deal with this lid i keep [TS]

01:05:10   hearing about the show but I haven't [TS]

01:05:12   seen well there's i only mention because [TS]

01:05:13   it's it's cute you know he seems ok he [TS]

01:05:15   seems like a nice you know humble guy is [TS]

01:05:18   cool but there's a great one where he [TS]

01:05:20   goes over Rob writers house and then [TS]

01:05:22   Robert talks about how Mel Brooks comes [TS]

01:05:24   to his house every night and and they [TS]

01:05:26   they eat deli food off TV trays and [TS]

01:05:29   watch jeopardy on the tivo any and so he [TS]

01:05:32   actually asked care if you want to come [TS]

01:05:33   tag along and so it's truly truly for [TS]

01:05:35   like so like whatever 30 40 50 years [TS]

01:05:38   Mel Brooks comes over to call writers [TS]

01:05:39   every night they watch TV together which [TS]

01:05:41   is a wonderful image to begin with but [TS]

01:05:43   then really there they are they're [TS]

01:05:44   sitting there eating shit tons of deli [TS]

01:05:46   food on TV trays and watching TV and it [TS]

01:05:49   becomes you imagine what that room [TS]

01:05:50   smells like [TS]

01:05:52   Mungo like candy [TS]

01:05:58   these two guys with their hands down the [TS]

01:06:00   perimeter bana le train but it's it's [TS]

01:06:03   adorable they're really old and they're [TS]

01:06:05   still there [TS]

01:06:05   they're still really funny and they're [TS]

01:06:07   super Jewish but it becomes too in my [TS]

01:06:09   reading of the show it becomes apparent [TS]

01:06:11   that Mel Brooks is familiar with jerry [TS]

01:06:14   seinfeld but he's not super familiar and [TS]

01:06:19   he's he's being a gentleman about it but [TS]

01:06:21   I got the sense from watching it that he [TS]

01:06:22   has not like sat down it was like [TS]

01:06:24   instantly said to him oh I really like [TS]

01:06:26   the moment the soup nazi or something [TS]

01:06:28   right and I don't use my reading of it [TS]

01:06:30   but there's something about that that [TS]

01:06:31   seems to go to this discussion which was [TS]

01:06:33   like you know is there anybody who by [TS]

01:06:36   most metrics has been more successful [TS]

01:06:37   person in comedy in the last 30 years [TS]

01:06:41   Jerry Seinfeld like the guy did pretty [TS]

01:06:43   well for himself but the guy who's like [TS]

01:06:45   probably one of his biggest heroes is [TS]

01:06:47   not know that's not that super into it [TS]

01:06:49   yeah it looks and he got reason he got [TS]

01:06:53   here but everything was any Grammy 000 [TS]

01:06:57   likes galaxy in everyday marino like [TS]

01:07:00   Rita Moreno he's one of ten living [TS]

01:07:01   people 10 people in history that aren't [TS]

01:07:03   he got I never knew that term now I have [TS]

01:07:06   something else to be envious about Amy [TS]

01:07:08   Grammy Oscar Tony and as soon as I [TS]

01:07:11   learned that I was like well I don't [TS]

01:07:12   have any got love Broadway if by the [TS]

01:07:18   fuckin Tony Award forever when you're a [TS]

01:07:21   jet you're a jet off the quick [TS]

01:07:23   did you receive my one-man show guy sits [TS]

01:07:26   at the end of a barn writes in his [TS]

01:07:27   journal [TS]

01:07:28   I can't believe you and Shawn are [TS]

01:07:32   working together anymore haha that's [TS]

01:07:35   missing a crowd advance too many hurt [TS]

01:07:37   feelings really but anyway I'm just [TS]

01:07:41   saying you know even bonds got a boss to [TS]

01:07:44   quoted a wise man yeah yeah there's [TS]

01:07:47   always somebody everybody else is [TS]

01:07:48   looking to and going like you know if I [TS]

01:07:50   Jerry so i thought i would probably [TS]

01:07:51   laugh that off too and again i might be [TS]

01:07:53   reading that scene wrong but I i didn't [TS]

01:07:54   get the sense he was like Jerry Seinfeld [TS]

01:07:56   like we hang all the time and you know [TS]

01:07:58   and and that's the thing is everybody [TS]

01:08:00   looks at everybody else what everybody [TS]

01:08:01   else has got and they're always see [TS]

01:08:03   something amorphis about them that [TS]

01:08:06   represents the last puzzle piece in [TS]

01:08:09   their particular thrift store collection [TS]

01:08:10   and I think that exists [TS]

01:08:12   well I it doesn't because i like the [TS]

01:08:14   upgrades we could be at language could [TS]

01:08:15   be out on his ass [TS]

01:08:17   you know without a dime is pocketing [TS]

01:08:18   probably still want to go make a really [TS]

01:08:19   good cartoon well you you keep climbing [TS]

01:08:22   up that tree and you finally get up to [TS]

01:08:23   what is the meaning of this [TS]

01:08:26   what is the meaning of life and is it [TS]

01:08:29   just that you succeed you know I think [TS]

01:08:33   about this all the time the people in [TS]

01:08:35   the people that I have known who have [TS]

01:08:37   devoted their lives to pursuing [TS]

01:08:39   adventure sports who are like tell you [TS]

01:08:43   think rock climbing or something of a [TS]

01:08:45   snowboard in the winter and they serve [TS]

01:08:46   in the summer or they snowboard in the [TS]

01:08:48   winter and then in the summer they fly [TS]

01:08:49   down to South American snowboard and you [TS]

01:08:53   know i know a lot of these people [TS]

01:08:54   personally from growing up with them and [TS]

01:08:56   and the idea that the the doubt has [TS]

01:09:04   never been introduced into their mind [TS]

01:09:05   that this is anything other than an [TS]

01:09:07   awesome way to spend your life and and I [TS]

01:09:11   wonder whether they don't have a greater [TS]

01:09:14   store of wisdom somehow or they haven't [TS]

01:09:17   been around the the the karma loop a few [TS]

01:09:23   more times that i have or something that [TS]

01:09:24   they can that they are so effortlessly [TS]

01:09:26   able to enjoy life and and not care that [TS]

01:09:32   that the only mark they're making on the [TS]

01:09:34   earth is there snow track that's going [TS]

01:09:37   to get maybe that's maybe that's their [TS]

01:09:39   duck you know this is years since [TS]

01:09:41   introducing that term a few a few weeks [TS]

01:09:44   ago I is to me into the world [TS]

01:09:46   I think about that a lot now I think a [TS]

01:09:48   lot about finding your dock and be [TS]

01:09:50   honest really and and I think that's [TS]

01:09:52   kind of what you're talking about this [TS]

01:09:53   entire conversation is about there's [TS]

01:09:55   this thing out there that I in my genes [TS]

01:09:59   my jeans are telling me that there's [TS]

01:10:01   this thing out there that I should be [TS]

01:10:03   seeking out your dad dreams but other [TS]

01:10:06   listen comfortable they are telling me [TS]

01:10:09   eat more pie [TS]

01:10:12   wearing my like Uncle jeans today I'm [TS]

01:10:14   like my 34 34 34 35 [TS]

01:10:17   um but yeah I see what you're saying you [TS]

01:10:19   aren't you have a beer wineries here's [TS]

01:10:21   the problem and this is the problem at [TS]

01:10:23   the heart of the the finding your doc [TS]

01:10:25   problem is that just because you know [TS]

01:10:28   that there's something out there for you [TS]

01:10:30   and just because you know you want [TS]

01:10:33   something that maybe that are not [TS]

01:10:34   intensely and you know what I mean [TS]

01:10:37   there's all these things that can be [TS]

01:10:38   extremely intense that the gestalt of [TS]

01:10:40   that is not actually all that useful now [TS]

01:10:42   until you know what the duck is now part [TS]

01:10:45   of that finding the duck might be that [TS]

01:10:46   you do not need to be an egot you might [TS]

01:10:48   want to just be a good but my conversion [TS]

01:10:50   sister and you say well I'm just gonna [TS]

01:10:51   work the shit out of getting getting [TS]

01:10:53   something on Broadway [TS]

01:10:54   my concern is that my doc is to be [TS]

01:10:56   discontent true i think EA that that's a [TS]

01:11:02   Jewish thing I think it is it is and I [TS]

01:11:05   don't even have that advantage of the [TS]

01:11:06   reason nobody likes a dissatisfied [TS]

01:11:08   Caucasian for the reason that was that [TS]

01:11:10   Mel Brooks you know is is a little bit [TS]

01:11:11   less impressed with jerry seinfeld is [TS]

01:11:13   that in the third in her room in every [TS]

01:11:18   Jewish temple there's a there's like a [TS]

01:11:20   little mound and the top-ranking once it [TS]

01:11:26   higher up on the mound [TS]

01:11:28   so it's all it's all some inner it's [TS]

01:11:30   some inner workings thing [TS]

01:11:32   ATZ serious is this a protocols of the [TS]

01:11:34   Elders of Zion thing [TS]

01:11:36   yeah i'm just making it up there's no [TS]

01:11:37   mound mound he's not even if there's not [TS]

01:11:39   even a third in a room nice try i'm [TS]

01:11:41   gonna look it up but i'm going to learn [TS]

01:11:42   about these mounts the tabernacle is [TS]

01:11:45   that it's covered with a cloth its [TS]

01:11:47   amount you have to wear a special you [TS]

01:11:48   have to wear special underwear [TS]

01:11:50   yepper wire around it yeah whoo so I [TS]

01:11:53   don't know the duck i find on st. John [TS]

01:11:55   don't change the subject is that the [TS]

01:11:56   writers are my daughter really duck to [TS]

01:11:58   duck is because you know I mean I felt [TS]

01:12:00   this way I i got us i don't consider [TS]

01:12:03   myself a writer anymore because i don't [TS]

01:12:06   i don't like writing for a job that much [TS]

01:12:08   i really liked writing and I feel [TS]

01:12:11   certain that that within the next few [TS]

01:12:13   months or years it's something that i [TS]

01:12:14   will want to do with more earnestly [TS]

01:12:16   after I've you know burned off some of [TS]

01:12:18   the bad karma my writing experiences in [TS]

01:12:20   the last few years I love doing it [TS]

01:12:22   it's just that wasn't my doc I thought [TS]

01:12:24   that was my doc and I made myself very [TS]

01:12:26   unhappy because I was convinced that [TS]

01:12:28   that I was the hunter of that duck yeah [TS]

01:12:31   and it took a different kind of thinking [TS]

01:12:32   I'm not saying is you but for me it took [TS]

01:12:35   me getting the point you know fuck it [TS]

01:12:37   this is this is not i'm ready to let go [TS]

01:12:39   of my pride and say that I'm somebody [TS]

01:12:41   who likes doing this but I'm not that is [TS]

01:12:43   not who I am and it made me so much [TS]

01:12:46   happier [TS]

01:12:46   I'm starting to figure out my duck is [TS]

01:12:47   this is kind of my doc isn't that sad [TS]

01:12:49   but like no it's not something that's a [TS]

01:12:51   big cock this could be a worse doc but [TS]

01:12:52   if you don't have to i smile face that [TS]

01:12:54   every well face that every day and then [TS]

01:12:56   the thing is if we have an idea of the [TS]

01:12:58   false duck were rejecting a lot of good [TS]

01:13:00   stuff along the way anyone could do my [TS]

01:13:03   thing now but I think i mighta don't use [TS]

01:13:05   to is to help people is to be helpful to [TS]

01:13:09   people who are largely people who cannot [TS]

01:13:12   be helped and there's a healthy and [TS]

01:13:15   helpful [TS]

01:13:16   there's a mean if if my duck was to make [TS]

01:13:18   my mother teresa with military like [TS]

01:13:20   Mother Teresa [TS]

01:13:21   that's exactly right except I don't want [TS]

01:13:23   dirty little sick kids touching me [TS]

01:13:25   the Browns I don't want I don't care [TS]

01:13:28   what color they are they're dirty and [TS]

01:13:29   sick and poor well you may have you met [TS]

01:13:31   my friend you may want to rethink your [TS]

01:13:32   your trip to the to the aisle m1 you're [TS]

01:13:36   saying there's a lot of dirty little [TS]

01:13:38   sick porn is felt they spell theses [TS]

01:13:39   really weird there they put me in it [TS]

01:13:42   I don't think that I reeses still but [TS]

01:13:44   Ireland Scotland are still be iron alone [TS]

01:13:46   and Scotland that you are thinking up [TS]

01:13:48   from Christmas carols [TS]

01:13:49   hey there they had some dramatic [TS]

01:13:55   improvements [TS]

01:13:56   uh-huh since Victoria there's not [TS]

01:13:59   anything over what I specifically no now [TS]

01:14:01   you're right when i think about [TS]

01:14:02   Christmas carols i think a lot about the [TS]

01:14:04   the Isle of what we now call the UK i'm [TS]

01:14:07   trying to think of what specific they [TS]

01:14:09   know about Irish Christmases and [TS]

01:14:10   scottish Christmases isn't simply going [TS]

01:14:13   to be like a sid caesar bit they would [TS]

01:14:17   they would get coal in their stockings [TS]

01:14:19   and they would be overjoyed the results [TS]

01:14:21   the distance first square meal that [TS]

01:14:23   they've had a week because now they can [TS]

01:14:25   put their stocking back feature called [TS]

01:14:29   Santa hard to time to talk [TS]

01:14:34   uh-huh oh god I can't believe you're [TS]

01:14:38   going to do that so starting so in some [TS]

01:14:40   ways I guess starting with maximum con [TS]

01:14:42   through our thing which we should [TS]

01:14:44   probably mention yeah maybe we should [TS]

01:14:46   make the sponsor this week [TS]

01:14:47   yeah we should we should that spot again [TS]

01:14:49   our big show at the Showbox on Monday [TS]

01:14:52   29th oktober 2009 to october it's gonna [TS]

01:14:55   be hilarious show largely improvised by [TS]

01:14:59   very talented improvisers white 455 [TS]

01:15:02   white men in brown tuxedos [TS]

01:15:04   yeah you me scott simpson and the others [TS]

01:15:09   and the resident of the other two guys i [TS]

01:15:10   can remand arrest [TS]

01:15:12   I know that I know that I know that you [TS]

01:15:13   uh you weren't you didn't like the brown [TS]

01:15:16   tuxedo idea and frankly I didn't like [TS]

01:15:18   the tuxedo idea frankly I when that was [TS]

01:15:21   all going down at a certain point [TS]

01:15:23   Hodgman felt like they had reached a [TS]

01:15:25   quorum yeah but I don't think that I [TS]

01:15:28   don't think that was actually true i [TS]

01:15:29   think that I I felt I felt I have [TS]

01:15:31   learned I have learned that i treasure [TS]

01:15:33   my friends and I picked my fights and I [TS]

01:15:35   don't know sometimes I keep taking them [TS]

01:15:37   after i thought it healed but I brought [TS]

01:15:39   the fight heels but i keep picking it [TS]

01:15:40   and you know that something's gotta let [TS]

01:15:43   go of items i thought it was a little to [TS]

01:15:45   get this little gimmicky and it's a lot [TS]

01:15:47   of dough and introduces entropy and it's [TS]

01:15:50   too late for any of that traumatic is [TS]

01:15:51   now running brown tuxedo yeah we're [TS]

01:15:53   running brown tuxedos it's gonna be [TS]

01:15:54   amazing the heads up they're gonna come [TS]

01:15:56   to the show you'll be like what [TS]

01:15:57   oh my god even though I heard about this [TS]

01:16:00   on a podcast yeah I didn't believe it [TS]

01:16:02   until I said can you really play guitar [TS]

01:16:03   in a tuxedo [TS]

01:16:05   oh sure like to talk a lot of guitars in [TS]

01:16:07   tuxedos and get that on the Brady Bunch [TS]

01:16:09   how the guitar got in my tuxedo I'll [TS]

01:16:11   never know [TS]

01:16:12   waka waka inside inside of a dog is to [TS]

01:16:17   dr. Reid [TS]

01:16:17   so we are so I'm going to max 1 comment [TS]

01:16:20   i'm coming back the next day we're doing [TS]

01:16:21   our show yeah and then there's some time [TS]

01:16:25   and they're all falls apart is your butt [TS]

01:16:27   down you got to get ready you got to get [TS]

01:16:29   your papers in order and then I then I [TS]

01:16:30   fly to Scotland and Ireland and then fly [TS]

01:16:33   to San Francisco then I go across the [TS]

01:16:34   country with jonathan coulton and then I [TS]

01:16:36   end in New York where we're playing a [TS]

01:16:39   Christmas show a Christmas pageant in [TS]

01:16:43   New York second week in december [TS]

01:16:45   so between now and then i'm gonna have [TS]

01:16:49   fewer Babs probably more i'm going to [TS]

01:16:53   say more meatball sandwiches but you [TS]

01:16:56   have less control over them that's right [TS]

01:16:57   it's going to be fewer bags i'm gonna [TS]

01:16:59   have almost no meatball sandwiches in [TS]

01:17:01   the bath [TS]

01:17:02   um and then it's going to be Christmas [TS]

01:17:05   and then i have to get up the next I [TS]

01:17:10   have to get up on new year's day and [TS]

01:17:11   start all over again start making my nut [TS]

01:17:14   here duck nut have to start making that [TS]

01:17:18   not every year now because because now [TS]

01:17:20   now i have now I'm now i'm doing this [TS]

01:17:23   out to make money i have to make money [TS]

01:17:24   to live [TS]

01:17:25   missing you think you're not picking up [TS]

01:17:27   on well for years you know until I was [TS]

01:17:31   30 I never made more than nine hundred [TS]

01:17:33   dollars a month because i had adjusted [TS]

01:17:37   every expectation in every aspect of my [TS]

01:17:40   life to to fit comfortably in a nine [TS]

01:17:45   hundred dollar-a-month economy so I had [TS]

01:17:48   read 300 had three hundred [TS]

01:17:50   dollar-a-month a apartment which wasn't [TS]

01:17:52   you know what a loft that had no [TS]

01:17:55   bathroom sample milk jugs and and I i [TS]

01:18:02   got my mail and did and did all of my [TS]

01:18:05   socializing and I mean basically my [TS]

01:18:07   living room was a cafe where I knew [TS]

01:18:09   everybody that worked there and they you [TS]

01:18:11   know and they they treated me like a [TS]

01:18:14   like I lived there basically and then I [TS]

01:18:17   worked about 20 hours a week and I spent [TS]

01:18:19   the rest of the time playing rock and [TS]

01:18:20   roll and chasing girls and then for the [TS]

01:18:24   last 10 years i have been here for the [TS]

01:18:27   further for the first seven years of my [TS]

01:18:30   thirties i was in a van the whole time [TS]

01:18:32   driving around playing in staying in [TS]

01:18:36   hotels and playing in rock clubs [TS]

01:18:39   and then I made a little bit of money [TS]

01:18:41   and then I spent four years sitting on [TS]

01:18:43   my ass and now I'm 44 years old and I [TS]

01:18:51   have to figure out how to make a living [TS]

01:18:54   uh-huh does this sound familiar [TS]

01:18:58   not my father except for all the other [TS]

01:19:01   parts and everything else that was [TS]

01:19:03   completely different every every not a [TS]

01:19:06   single bit of that is was me until the [TS]

01:19:08   last part and that me [TS]

01:19:10   yeah it's kind of its kind of everybody [TS]

01:19:12   but it's especially me [TS]

01:19:13   I'm envious of the people who are secure [TS]

01:19:14   my memories of the people who are like [TS]

01:19:17   yeah you know i'll just a good do this [TS]

01:19:19   thing and I'm like how do you do that [TS]

01:19:20   thing like he could do that thing with [TS]

01:19:23   the ship to plan a lot for but what you [TS]

01:19:26   have to move a lot of stuff around to do [TS]

01:19:28   that but that's yeah it says that starts [TS]

01:19:31   in January first we should put it on our [TS]

01:19:33   calendar what making money making money [TS]

01:19:35   day it starts you know we should we [TS]

01:19:38   should start next year next year should [TS]

01:19:40   be we're making money here [TS]

01:19:43   well that's what you think that's [TS]

01:19:45   something we as we help ourselves [TS]

01:19:47   well let's be honest we're helping [TS]

01:19:48   ourselves with the show too well [TS]

01:19:49   obviously will be hoped we could be [TS]

01:19:51   helping other people to we give people [TS]

01:19:52   opportunities we show them things for [TS]

01:19:53   them ducks they weren't even aware [TS]

01:19:54   that's right as we start my seemingly [TS]

01:19:56   extinct ducks people are going to say if [TS]

01:19:59   those two ding-dongs can make money I [TS]

01:20:01   can make money right time I gotta be [TS]

01:20:04   honest with you I'll cut this out but [TS]

01:20:05   there's a shit ton of money to be made [TS]

01:20:07   in telling people how they can make [TS]

01:20:08   money [TS]

01:20:09   oh I know it's really it's I'm not just [TS]

01:20:12   saying it's getting tight we're getting [TS]

01:20:13   old like you understand it's all [TS]

01:20:15   downhill from here suck [TS]

01:20:16   we're not going two years to get better [TS]

01:20:17   so we may have to resort to helping [TS]

01:20:19   people quote unquote get quote unquote [TS]

01:20:21   rich quote-unquote right get rich get [TS]

01:20:25   you know what its you have to work [TS]

01:20:28   smarter before you work harder you have [TS]

01:20:31   to work smarter [TS]

01:20:32   mhm for you what you could be smarter [TS]

01:20:35   and harder and won't have to worry smart [TS]

01:20:38   and hard [TS]

01:20:40   and not have to work I like this I like [TS]

01:20:42   where this is going before you answer [TS]

01:20:44   let me ask you this [TS]

01:20:46   I fight you know how I just I want to [TS]

01:20:49   run a seminar where i teach people to be [TS]

01:20:51   retired director of the CIA [TS]

01:20:54   wait a minute this is that you found it [TS]

01:20:57   you found your end run you found your [TS]

01:20:58   flanking maneuver so you're so the [TS]

01:21:01   problem is i understand it is you want [TS]

01:21:03   to be a retired senator but that or [TS]

01:21:05   retired general but that requires you [TS]

01:21:07   being a senator and or general in order [TS]

01:21:09   to become retired exactly but there's [TS]

01:21:11   nothing to stop me from teaching other [TS]

01:21:13   people how to do it [TS]

01:21:14   hello wait a minute and i think this is [TS]

01:21:20   something i think that already you have [TS]

01:21:21   lit a fire amongst our listeners about [TS]

01:21:23   the worlds of possibilities that are out [TS]

01:21:25   there whether they like it or not [TS]

01:21:26   there's no reason there's no fucking [TS]

01:21:28   reason that you couldn't fill up the [TS]

01:21:29   ballroom at him at a motel six with [TS]

01:21:33   people who are interested in learning [TS]

01:21:34   more about how to become the thing that [TS]

01:21:38   you're not but kinda want to be alright [TS]

01:21:40   do you think they'll pay a hundred and [TS]

01:21:41   twenty-five dollars for a packet i'll [TS]

01:21:43   borrow it [TS]

01:21:44   I mean you know you quit and uh you know [TS]

01:21:45   lottery tickets and cools for a month [TS]

01:21:47   and come in and and really learn how to [TS]

01:21:48   become a gentleman with John become a [TS]

01:21:49   gentleman which all all of those [TS]

01:21:51   fortunes are our packet-based fortunes [TS]

01:21:53   you know you have to sell people a [TS]

01:21:55   packet [TS]

01:21:55   yeah it helps to have a lino you go I'm [TS]

01:21:57   gonna look cool on telling this to you [TS]

01:22:00   work with jonathan coulton you have a [TS]

01:22:01   merch table in the back [TS]

01:22:03   I've got itself how i came to see one of [TS]

01:22:04   the preeminent self-help gurus of the [TS]

01:22:07   century and he had a place in the back [TS]

01:22:10   with some baseball hats baseball hat to [TS]

01:22:12   sell CDs you could sell you know you can [TS]

01:22:16   see all kinds of stuff you know Europe [TS]

01:22:18   Europe whatever the opposite of a [TS]

01:22:20   commodity is I guess strong position i'm [TS]

01:22:24   a non commodity here especially little [TS]

01:22:28   guys what you are up to God that bus is [TS]

01:22:32   going to be stinky [TS]

01:22:34   is it going to be what is it going to be [TS]

01:22:35   in five of you any buses stinky I mean [TS]

01:22:38   to figure that is writing the name bus [TS]

01:22:40   you know this and and it has windows and [TS]

01:22:44   stuff that is a coach is just going to [TS]

01:22:45   be like one of those like hey look it's [TS]

01:22:47   willie nelson kind of bus no no it's a [TS]

01:22:49   bus with a living room [TS]

01:22:51   ok know what I mean no it's not gonna be [TS]

01:22:52   like being in a spaceship yeah it's like [TS]

01:22:54   the anticipation and the thing is you [TS]

01:22:56   got five six guys who are all in there [TS]

01:22:58   all in their forties it's a different [TS]

01:23:01   kind of smell than five or six guys on [TS]

01:23:03   their twenties you know in a good way [TS]

01:23:06   well i don't know i mean which do you [TS]

01:23:08   like better i guess it's pick your I [TS]

01:23:09   don't know I really don't care for [TS]

01:23:10   either of them but much that is like [TS]

01:23:13   something it's like it's like an RV that [TS]

01:23:14   but a lot nicer bigger right bigger and [TS]

01:23:17   nicer bigger nicer but like how to bathe [TS]

01:23:19   as well as r1 shower now you pull in and [TS]

01:23:22   you pull into a town and get a hotel [TS]

01:23:24   room and everybody uses it as a as like [TS]

01:23:28   a way station you all night but it's [TS]

01:23:30   gotta move for the right you can see you [TS]

01:23:31   can hit the can in the box right don't [TS]

01:23:33   poop in the boss what the first bus I [TS]

01:23:36   ever toured waves this changes [TS]

01:23:38   everything you don't snoop on it i [TS]

01:23:40   walked into the bus the first bus I'd [TS]

01:23:42   ever been off so that shot out at a [TS]

01:23:44   suitcase at my guitar case pick my bunk [TS]

01:23:47   and I went into the toilet and there was [TS]

01:23:49   a big sign over the toilet but said no [TS]

01:23:52   mud pickles that takes a lot of the [TS]

01:23:56   value offer for me i read that I'd [TS]

01:23:58   rather deal with dissipating the after [TS]

01:24:01   effects than not having that to me that [TS]

01:24:03   that takes it all that's like not having [TS]

01:24:04   seats in it as far as I'm concerned [TS]

01:24:05   yeah well the reason you don't go poo on [TS]

01:24:08   the bus is that no matter even you that [TS]

01:24:11   we can put a man on the moon we can make [TS]

01:24:14   a sports car that runs on electric power [TS]

01:24:17   a guy can jump out of a balloon in outer [TS]

01:24:20   space and fall to earth but you cannot [TS]

01:24:23   make a mobile toilet that doesn't stick [TS]

01:24:25   the whole bus with poop [TS]

01:24:27   I you know I don't care if the toilet is [TS]

01:24:30   just a hole in the in the floor of the [TS]

01:24:31   bus and the pool just goes right out on [TS]

01:24:33   the pavement who somehow psychologically [TS]

01:24:37   that pool stay there [TS]

01:24:40   look with you as you go down the road [TS]

01:24:42   it's like a portal it's got that it's [TS]

01:24:44   got the portal a problem of [TS]

01:24:45   it's all about collection is not about [TS]

01:24:47   dissipation yeah and you can tweak it [TS]

01:24:49   just can't have back all the other [TS]

01:24:51   smells that are happening all the other [TS]

01:24:53   the close proximity the-the-the like I'm [TS]

01:24:56   tired of seeing you guys see let's be [TS]

01:24:58   honest the onanism that's going to be [TS]

01:24:59   have to be something you can work [TS]

01:25:01   something there's some of that everybody [TS]

01:25:02   in there been their bunks at night [TS]

01:25:04   pretending that they're asleep media [TS]

01:25:06   have white noise or how to cover that up [TS]

01:25:07   now the bus is loud because things guys [TS]

01:25:10   better because guys in their twenties [TS]

01:25:12   can finish that quick but you guys you [TS]

01:25:14   know you might need to warm up by [TS]

01:25:15   stretching exercises you're saying [TS]

01:25:17   especially guys you're saying the guys [TS]

01:25:19   in their forties when they masturbate [TS]

01:25:21   are louder than guys in their twenties [TS]

01:25:24   anyhow i'm not a scientist but it seems [TS]

01:25:26   to me your memories not as good [TS]

01:25:27   certainly not as coordinated kinda [TS]

01:25:29   talking to yourself like huh yeah what [TS]

01:25:32   what what [TS]

01:25:33   ally sollar I saw a lady at the turn [TS]

01:25:36   around turn around I saw at the that [TS]

01:25:39   sure that is that is what was her name [TS]

01:25:42   almost got to what you're doing i'm [TS]

01:25:44   gonna do it [TS]

01:25:46   Mabel masturbating is complicated [TS]

01:25:54   [Music] [TS]