0:00:00Roderick on the line is unabashedly
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0:00:10find your doc hello hi John
0:00:18hi Merlin has gone well I i woke up this
0:00:25morning I went downstairs and I with you
0:00:27and I pushed back the beginning of our
0:00:29podcast as a matter of routine is deal
0:00:32but I always assume that you are pushing
0:00:34back at the start time because you have
0:00:37many things to do in the morning you
0:00:39have to get some hot dogs you have to go
0:00:40to the post office walgreens walgreens
0:00:44you have to go to walgreens I'm always
0:00:45pushing it back because I'm still asleep
0:00:47and i look at my phone and I go god it's
0:00:49time to do it i push back push back
0:00:52so this morning I went downstairs i made
0:00:53a pot of coffee I realized I didn't have
0:00:55any cream mmm
0:00:56and so I had to use vanilla ice cream
0:00:59and as good as good as that sounds I
0:01:05don't like to start my day with a with
0:01:07vanilla ice cream in my coffee
0:01:09that's that's that's nice as an option
0:01:11when it comes up and you're in the mood
0:01:14but I mean that's like having eat
0:01:16popcorn for breakfast
0:01:18yeah yeah yeah exactly I'm not
0:01:20celebrating this
0:01:21mhm I mean that there's a vanilla taste
0:01:24now to my coffee and that is a little
0:01:26bit like like sissy coffee seek out and
0:01:29it's a screws up your coffee workflow
0:01:32because you're introducing well I'll
0:01:34tell you this if you're living it and
0:01:36you're introducing a whole new level of
0:01:39temperature and flavor and texture
0:01:41integers a greasy texture no to
0:01:45absolutely that's the xanthan gum
0:01:46talking haha and the jewel on did you
0:01:49make your coffee any differently i'm
0:01:51guessing major you make great coffee
0:01:53did you make any different think you
0:01:54know seriously eat
0:01:56it's amazing how fast you can make it
0:01:57and so did you did you do you realize at
0:02:00the time that you're going to have to
0:02:02use the ice cream did you know is that i
0:02:04did not prepare has already done was hot
0:02:06in the pot rated drink
0:02:07yeah I didn't prepare the coffee in any
0:02:09way I don't even
0:02:09why would have done this yet a clock
0:02:11running I did I was like coffee is going
0:02:13got that I'm ready I'm gonna put I'm
0:02:15gonna put some clothes on out of respect
0:02:17to do for our listeners and and I
0:02:20respect for you Merlin thank you and and
0:02:23then I got some clothes on and i got
0:02:25that I got that that by my mug of coffee
0:02:27which says spotted brown munchen on it
0:02:30and I am I was all full of coffee and I
0:02:33go oh there's no cream and I mean I can
0:02:35drink black coffee but it's not that's
0:02:37not how I preferred and so I scream I
0:02:39don't you know if I i think if i had if
0:02:42I had not been so sleepy if I had a
0:02:43second to think about it i would have
0:02:45said i would have forgone the ice cream
0:02:47and just had black coffee but I made a
0:02:49snap decision something sandy it's all
0:02:53about huh yeah cuz there's an X that's
0:02:55going to start my ex's of the post noon
0:02:58letter
0:02:59yeah I we had actually we had kind of a
0:03:01white funk band called xanthan gum but
0:03:04in the mid-nineties but it never took
0:03:05they were white huh well I was in it
0:03:07when you play remember I I think there's
0:03:15something to this the John and it's it's
0:03:17about expectations like for me once that
0:03:19coffee the reason ask if there's a clock
0:03:21running is like to me once that coffee
0:03:22is dripped and it's going
0:03:24yeah personally I'm in a different state
0:03:25of mind like no matter how tired I am on
0:03:28some level if i get up and the first
0:03:30thing I realized is I don't have cream
0:03:32half in my case that that is going to
0:03:34factor slightly into it like you can't
0:03:36walk to your 7-eleven where the junkies
0:03:38are you you would have to get a hoot to
0:03:39drive there right
0:03:40mhm photos by but still I mean you might
0:03:44from the outset say why I need to make
0:03:45some different decisions maybe I should
0:03:47have a very strong tea when we should
0:03:49maybe I should live in a different place
0:03:50because there is a boat dekha two blocks
0:03:53from my house is licensed it's a license
0:03:56Bodega and I walked in there the first
0:03:59week I lived here and there's a korean
0:04:02kid sitting by making the counter
0:04:04playing a video game and I said where's
0:04:07your half-and-half and he looked up and
0:04:09said what's half and half
0:04:12Christ and they literally don't have
0:04:14half and half there because it's one of
0:04:16those but niggas that sells faygo
0:04:18menthol cigarettes and lottery tickets
0:04:20and lottery tickets and like 75
0:04:24different kinds of malt liquor and it's
0:04:26really more of a general a Dago you can
0:04:29have the juggalo bodega you can't have
0:04:32milk 11 milk in here that isn't flavored
0:04:35with strawberry Quik honey's like listen
0:04:37man I just my folks on this place i'm
0:04:41just i'm just waiting to get out John
0:04:43you know me I don't like to work ping
0:04:44pong but I'm just saying that's this
0:04:46this sounds like something from from a
0:04:48rejected spike lee movie you got to get
0:04:50your in the year in the african-american
0:04:51well you're a very diverse part of town
0:04:53to put it actually right you're the only
0:04:55white person in the entire part of your
0:04:56county is that correct
0:04:57haha no in fact my County are you
0:05:00arguing it desperately ridiculously
0:05:01insanely impossibly diverse neighborhood
0:05:03it is it is literally and you know I
0:05:07don't miss you now wherever is literally
0:05:09the most diverse County in America which
0:05:12means which means that that there are
0:05:15just as many white people here as there
0:05:17are South Pacific Islanders or Native
0:05:20Americans or any any group you could
0:05:23care to name their there is an equal
0:05:25number of the of that group
0:05:27demographically in my and that and that
0:05:31bears out even on my block to take
0:05:34westchester county as a new york as a
0:05:36pie graph and that's gonna be is gonna
0:05:38be probably a pretty big white piece
0:05:41there same eighty percent white people
0:05:43twenty percent joo's boyfriend and point
0:05:46three percent other just for my cards
0:05:48for my card you break out that jury you
0:05:51break them out and pie graph I don't
0:05:53have a problem at all d souza far
0:05:55discovery launch kazi I think they would
0:05:57do that in westchester county just to
0:05:58give the appearance of diversity in here
0:06:00in Seattle I don't think you I don't
0:06:02know you don't need that you don't need
0:06:03that the group does it look like a clock
0:06:06I mean are there like perhaps 12 slices
0:06:08I mean I guess there are then different
0:06:10night
0:06:10it's alright because you know the west
0:06:12coast is it is a very diverse area in
0:06:14the in the first place because we have
0:06:15had numerous waves of migration from not
0:06:19only from europe etc but from from Asia
0:06:22and points beyond
0:06:25we got sushi first year that's right we
0:06:28have the best thai food in America here
0:06:30in Seattle so but but there's also i
0:06:33mean i think you I think they actually
0:06:34break this pie graph here down into like
0:06:36okay you know these are the Tongans and
0:06:40these are the Samoans and belen and
0:06:42we're we're we're registering that might
0:06:44all be the same slice of pie in a lot of
0:06:46places in a lot of places you would
0:06:47South Pacific Islanders would not even
0:06:49rate a slice of the pie they would be
0:06:51lumped in with other but here they're
0:06:53thinking it's been that you remember
0:06:56this is actually think becoming kind of
0:06:57a thing especially with voting and so
0:06:59forth but you know its senses but used
0:07:01to be for the longest time when you have
0:07:03to check off that little box it was
0:07:04either white black or was it was white
0:07:09hispanic or black non-hispanic and the
0:07:12magic maybe the introduced asian later
0:07:13at the occasion was a form of black for
0:07:15a long time
0:07:16nowadays you know oh I don't you know I
0:07:19don't remember exactly it's been a long
0:07:20time but I'm just saying like now you
0:07:22get on down by where scott simpson lives
0:07:23that part of that part of the the
0:07:25peninsula and I mean you would need to
0:07:28break down the Pacific Islands in some
0:07:30very specific ways that there that I
0:07:32think I think there's a lot of Simone
0:07:33people especially the food court and
0:07:35there's there's there's a as a filipino
0:07:37fast-food place there is any philippine
0:07:40filipino filipino filipina but you can
0:07:43say I think filipino is the overall
0:07:45overarching term was you know I've
0:07:47traveled extensively I've been to at
0:07:48least six states in three countries and
0:07:50I'm I know when I was in hawaii i was
0:07:52completely baffled by it all the food
0:07:54seemed like a joke on the white guy I
0:07:56didn't shave ice was the only thing I
0:07:59don't have is the fried spam and fried
0:08:02spam like on the face of it sounds like
0:08:04a pretty good deal so there's a lot of
0:08:06joke foods in hawaii as you know to keep
0:08:08the good food for the locals you know
0:08:10ever had
0:08:10oh yeah I was that your sons are you
0:08:12kidding me let those folks pretty big
0:08:14three and some pretty big ribeyes point
0:08:16really o.o here are some taro root with
0:08:19your black coffee that's my question to
0:08:21you John Roderick that you're in a
0:08:22working neighborhood these are these are
0:08:23people apart from yourself who work for
0:08:25a living
0:08:26what are they drinking in the morning or
0:08:27taking in the morning that's helping
0:08:30them get through the day
0:08:31how are you how are there not more
0:08:32people that need half and half for the
0:08:33coffee that is a really good question
0:08:36that's right now because gets to a very
0:08:38Roderick on the line type question here
0:08:41because you know you've taught us so
0:08:43many times in the past you can tell a
0:08:44lot about a location right there are
0:08:47there hills are the rivers we can see
0:08:49boston was laid out by cows it's in
0:08:51store for that has never occurred to me
0:08:52and now I'm wondering whether my
0:08:54neighbors are all putting vanilla ice
0:08:56cream in their coffee and I have just
0:08:58like crossed over some invisible line
0:09:00i'm now I've become just become a local
0:09:02huh and interested in as much as you can
0:09:06recall her say do you remember if there
0:09:09is a frozen area inside of the lottery
0:09:12store let alone the other no ice cream
0:09:14such do they have frozen goods there
0:09:15they do but they're all in the ice cream
0:09:18sandwich and popsicle variety i don't
0:09:21think they have I don't think you can
0:09:22buy a carton of ice cream there is a
0:09:24goddamn tragedy so even if it really is
0:09:26and you know this store is perfectly
0:09:28sugars they sell sugar have additional
0:09:29sugar
0:09:30well everything that is sugar and
0:09:32everything but I don't think they have
0:09:32any I don't think they have any staples
0:09:34I don't you go buy a bag of flour
0:09:37I mean I think you could buy a bag of
0:09:39flour 100 runs out front he's gonna
0:09:44pause his game and help you with the
0:09:46flower garden out front yeah I'm saying
0:09:48out front of the store but well you know
0:09:50I walk into the store and I look around
0:09:51and I think why wouldn't be great if
0:09:54there was like a little rack of
0:09:55artisanal cheese and some and an olive
0:09:58case not all the cheese just a career
0:10:00for nice cheeses and then and then some
0:10:02some local wines and you know a little
0:10:06hand picked produce and this kid would
0:10:08put his video game down and had a white
0:10:10apron on and it was like hello you know
0:10:12man welcome to Kim's may I help you
0:10:15oh and the kid can cut you off
0:10:19maybe liquid called PP a tear may be
0:10:21some kind of like a like a like a pate
0:10:23local artisan pate
0:10:24yeah we were you know he would that I
0:10:26walk in he had me a little paper cup
0:10:27with a toothpick sticking in some kind
0:10:30of some kind of little like chopped fish
0:10:33or whatever and say like don't you like
0:10:35to try our our kimchi of the day and
0:10:37then be like okay ray
0:10:39but in fact no it's just it's a bunch of
0:10:41dogs parked out front and everybody's
0:10:43like coming and going well just buy a
0:10:46jungle of foods
0:10:48well the reason I the reason I bring it
0:10:51up is izzy as you said it used to be
0:10:53that there are correlations we could
0:10:55draw in this country they were Venn
0:10:56diagrams we could draw in our sleep
0:10:57right it there was a Venn diagram
0:10:59between scrimshaw and tattoos was once I
0:11:02think there's a lot of integrity to that
0:11:04so so I mean the thing is displaying the
0:11:06band right this is this is basic I think
0:11:08this is a howard freeman Milton Milton
0:11:10Milton burro whoever the economist is
0:11:12even be a great economist Milton Berle
0:11:15your compass you take out just enough to
0:11:16beat you and so and so it was your
0:11:19student dublin 13 felon who was specific
0:11:22islander to your knowledge before
0:11:24Thorstein Veblen that sounds like I like
0:11:26in Norwegian one of those little skinny
0:11:27countries
0:11:28well you know i think i have all the
0:11:31Norwegian countries
0:11:32oh pretty well mapped out and Thorstein
0:11:35Veblen isn't one of them
0:11:36ok so nicely with the Norwegian
0:11:38countries right Icelanders in Norwegian
0:11:40country yeah I don't know erica was a
0:11:42Eric Eric green that did that he missed
0:11:44name on purpose
0:11:45it turns out that Iceland is the moment
0:11:46that has things in it
0:11:48Finland is actually the one that's a sum
0:11:50up I'm not a lot of people know that
0:11:52and this is why that is alive to this
0:11:56day throughout all of the Swedish
0:11:58countries this is my only regional
0:12:00countries only Vikings today put their
0:12:02lottery tickets into their coffee and
0:12:04maybe that's the question that I'm
0:12:05asking you go in there let me guess
0:12:06coming I got a couple things I just
0:12:08really quickly blow through this thing's
0:12:09look through it
0:12:10ok thank you find it don't find in the
0:12:11store lottery tickets yeah you find
0:12:13those there okay
0:12:14Funyuns absolutely you're going to find
0:12:17funding
0:12:18ok I think we take this red fang go
0:12:19diego or always say I'm gonna say you
0:12:24you know because figure is a regional
0:12:26drink in America is figure the juggler
0:12:28drink figures the juggler drinking it's
0:12:30really a drink that's located more or
0:12:32less in the south
0:12:33although you can get in seattle at ease
0:12:35l's famous chicken but he imports it
0:12:38special so i will like like a Hispanic
0:12:41American coke
0:12:42exactly ok so i'm guessing that you
0:12:45cannot get figure at this store if you
0:12:47if you research for but what you can get
0:12:49is drank you can get orange drank or
0:12:52grape drank and that's cough syrup know
0:12:55it's a it's the it's like sugar pop but
0:12:57it's already like regular pop like
0:13:00professor fake and or something
0:13:02professor Falken you there and get some
0:13:04innocent jonah falcon would you like to
0:13:07play okay would you like to drink a
0:13:10grape soda I've always been intrigued by
0:13:13the different type of times of generic
0:13:14store brands of you know professor PA
0:13:17and stuff like that but this is the
0:13:18stuff that this is the the soda pop that
0:13:21you get when year when your business
0:13:23does not shop at costco wholesale
0:13:26there's been cutbacks and we can't
0:13:28cancel the party so we should get
0:13:29something
0:13:30yeah right okay all right so there are
0:13:32flavored things there's probably a huge
0:13:34amount of xanthan gum and high-fructose
0:13:35corn syrup you say the ice cream is most
0:13:37limited to ice cream sandwich type
0:13:40things
0:13:40there's there's like a freezer case that
0:13:42has that has again like weird off-brand
0:13:45ice creams where there's there's like a
0:13:47ravenous a rabbit that kind of looks
0:13:49like the Trix rabbit except except his
0:13:51nose is kind of longer he looks like a
0:13:53beautiful it looks like the camel looks
0:13:55like Joe Camel had sex with the Trix
0:13:58rabbit and like that's not that doesn't
0:14:02look appetizing I don't want to eat that
0:14:03ice cream sandwich later added Stella's
0:14:05are for kids
0:14:06silly rabbit your nose looks like a
0:14:08penis about what about the propane there
0:14:10where a math cooking stuff or says
0:14:13something store is absolutely useless
0:14:14grandma go it's all grab-and-go you're
0:14:16gonna get in there it's six guys on a
0:14:17truck covered covered with with like
0:14:20drywall dust and carhartts they jump in
0:14:22there
0:14:23grab-and-go you get a faygo a lottery
0:14:24ticket ice cream sandwich get the fuck
0:14:25out of there is that right yeah pack of
0:14:27cigarettes and and and like a brown bag
0:14:30with some kind of some kind of booze and
0:14:33it who and I mean they're making a
0:14:35living but I think they're dragging down
0:14:37the whole neighborhood and you know
0:14:37what's interesting you might not have
0:14:39noticed this but there's a there's a
0:14:41like an acre and a vacant acre of land
0:14:45not far from my house that they are
0:14:46converting into a what we call here in
0:14:48Seattle AP patch like a community garden
0:14:52community garden oh that's lovely
0:14:54it's going to be nice so they're so
0:14:56that's that's you know a few blocks from
0:14:58me and that's going to be and I've just
0:15:00I've just given away my location
0:15:01basically there's a lot of the community
0:15:03gardens a lot of people in
0:15:04african-american neighborhoods in
0:15:06Seattle
0:15:07there's gonna be a whole whole bowl
0:15:09community it's going to bring the
0:15:11community together in a way that that
0:15:13this bodega has been tearing us apart
0:15:16right of ownership
0:15:17that's right and people are going to
0:15:18have fresh vegetables and it's only a
0:15:21matter of time before somebody opens a
0:15:23little store with an olive bar and like
0:15:26six different kinds of of coffee creamer
0:15:29all organic here from here from a modest
0:15:33background right i mean you're not
0:15:35you're not from a rich family right knee
0:15:37pads
0:15:38well in a rich rich rich certainly in in
0:15:41a certain kind of discipline and dignity
0:15:43culturally rich ah God you know what but
0:15:48I'm always concerned that something is a
0:15:49trick and I have to tell you i think
0:15:51iíve said this in many places before I
0:15:52really believe this i think that when
0:15:54you're not from a place where you know a
0:15:56lot about what's fancy in the right way
0:15:58I think i'm constantly parsing things
0:16:01for tricks and so not the cereal with
0:16:04the rabbit but for example like all the
0:16:05bars i think it's a fucking trick has
0:16:07only a trick I walked past those and I'm
0:16:09like you've given this much real estate
0:16:11in your store 22 like things that look
0:16:15and smell and taste like rotting toes it
0:16:18is it's basically a tow bar and i'll bet
0:16:20you take anybody you take anybody in
0:16:22there you pull them out of their
0:16:23previous to give an artist and a
0:16:24blindfold you sitting down and getting
0:16:25six fuckin olives and they will not be
0:16:27able to tell you
0:16:27oh it's salty and taste like olives yeah
0:16:30you give them six fucking olives and
0:16:31then a plate of like of chopped-up
0:16:34chopped-up human toes so in formaldehyde
0:16:38for a year
0:16:39look locally sourced and then we'll go
0:16:41down and I'll be like delicious all
0:16:43about religious this one's got a little
0:16:45like a little setup pinky had pinky and
0:16:49pimento it's like yeah you know what
0:16:53those but this is the thing John this is
0:16:55the thing about the scrimshaw on the
0:16:56railroads and the steamers is that is it
0:16:58it is that is it says something about
0:17:01the community it says something you know
0:17:03we learn about the language we learn
0:17:04about the way people dress we learned so
0:17:06much by these regional things that take
0:17:08a long time to go away even if they're
0:17:09not you know not there anymore even
0:17:11though we're not building ships in this
0:17:12place anymore there's still a
0:17:13shipbuilding culture they're trying to
0:17:15push it out as many jets at Boeing as
0:17:17they used to
0:17:18I don't know but I'm guessing
0:17:19you know well you know they've
0:17:21outsourced it so that what happens now
0:17:23is that the the tail assembly is
0:17:25manufactured in Japan and the wings are
0:17:27made in Italy when they bring them all
0:17:29here to Seattle or to Nebraska or
0:17:32somewhere and they try to bolt them all
0:17:33together this happened a couple of years
0:17:35ago but they they sent the plans to
0:17:38Italy and nobody converted the
0:17:40measurements from metric to all come on
0:17:43that sounds like an urban myth
0:17:44it's absolutely true and make spent you
0:17:47know they tooled up and they spend
0:17:48hundreds of millions of dollars building
0:17:50these parts in the together the wheel
0:17:52the wheel enough it and what's the
0:17:55matter for you no matter so they're like
0:17:58oh outsourcing I and I've heard stories
0:18:03like that before I think that happened
0:18:05that happened on the space shuttle
0:18:06wasn't a space shuttle he space shuttle
0:18:08gap that involve metric conversion
0:18:10happens all the time and I and I can you
0:18:12know and depending on where you're
0:18:14standing like if we if we were doing
0:18:15this podcast in Milan right now we'd be
0:18:18saying to the effect of we be saying
0:18:21something like a wide what why America
0:18:24have a all this measurement that no one
0:18:26else to use you gotta be different there
0:18:28yeah I good metric is used by everybody
0:18:31right so why the hell it what's our
0:18:34problem but then the flip side is from
0:18:36our perspective
0:18:38no one in America has ever heard of
0:18:40another country yeah and and most people
0:18:42here don't believe other countries exist
0:18:44I mean I'm you could be mass hysteria
0:18:46but I mean there's at least two levels
0:18:47to this
0:18:48yes absolutely on the first level it's
0:18:50probably a little bit crazy the inside
0:18:52of a certain profession you don't have a
0:18:53standard I i think it's sensible
0:18:55probably if you're working on japanese
0:18:57cars to talking in metrics right and
0:18:59then there's a there's got to be a
0:19:00google thing that just translates your
0:19:03your wing diameter measurements
0:19:06immediately into whatever form you
0:19:08wanted you know I got an application
0:19:09always an application here i'm going to
0:19:11show you can be turns anything into
0:19:12anything that's my blind but here's my
0:19:14question to you that this is the deeper
0:19:15problems a deeper problem let me put it
0:19:16this way
0:19:17okay my kids school my wife texts me and
0:19:21says hey can assign you up to change the
0:19:24strings on the guitar and I said
0:19:27absolutely
0:19:28ok what is your is your wife now playing
0:19:31the guitar
0:19:32she doesn't tapping but ok so now i have
0:19:35let me like this by using your response
0:19:37was co-opted fingerboard for you guys I
0:19:39did that with a rasp I told you about
0:19:41that i invade my guitar
0:19:42anyway go ahead m60 just so she texts
0:19:46you okay here's the thing he says UK
0:19:47john-john uh can you can you at least
0:19:52keys change the strings on this guitar
0:19:54and you know if it's somebody you like
0:19:56you probably say yes right dude also you
0:19:59got my some strange right
0:20:00yeah but stringz a electric or acoustic
0:20:04exactly is a trick question
0:20:07now it's it's a non trick question I
0:20:09said okay send me a photograph of the
0:20:11guitar
0:20:11I didn't ask her feelings classical or
0:20:13steel string I said send me a photograph
0:20:15the guitar and especially can get a
0:20:16picture of the bridge and headstock
0:20:17that'd be great but I could i bought a
0:20:19second and see that it's an old crappy
0:20:21classical guitar but you see what I'm
0:20:23saying here like I mean some gut strings
0:20:25well yeah the problem the problem is
0:20:26that it yeah it's silly that they didn't
0:20:28get the conversion right but it's even
0:20:30sillier that they assume they didn't
0:20:31need to check the spec better
0:20:33it's like somebody saying paint my house
0:20:34and I assume all I've got this green so
0:20:36i'll just use green this is the problem
0:20:38nobody using slide rules anymore John
0:20:39well you know what the problem is is
0:20:41that i guarantee you in the corporate
0:20:42culture of Boeing as is as is true of
0:20:45the corporate culture of everywhere in
0:20:46the world now there are 42 different
0:20:48levels of management
0:20:49uh-huh and then you've got like three
0:20:52guys that know how to use the equipment
0:20:54and so that i'm sure those specs went
0:20:58across like 40 people's desks until it
0:21:01got to the the guy who was supposed to
0:21:04build the tool and the guy that's
0:21:06supposed to build the tool kind of
0:21:07assumes that somewhere along the line
0:21:10somebody would have if there was a
0:21:12problem somebody would have picked up
0:21:14picked up on it
0:21:15I i think it's totally true but here's
0:21:17the other thing if there were
0:21:18let's just say for you know I don't mean
0:21:20this in a ping-pong way if they were
0:21:21nerds along the way you know they were
0:21:23nerds wrong the way he said hey look I
0:21:25mean you're doing this you're doing
0:21:26something Microsoft Excel I can you how
0:21:29can you miss that these over here are
0:21:32this says 1.0 1.1 this one says 1.0 and
0:21:36this one says two-and-a-half right we'll
0:21:40return with centimeters or inches like
0:21:41what is how would you how would you know
0:21:43that
0:21:44that they said you know what we should
0:21:45probably make it really clear to people
0:21:47that this is in centimeters and not
0:21:49interesting better put probably inches
0:21:51and centimeters and you know what about
0:21:53their boss said don't be a dick
0:21:54yeah you know what helps me navigate all
0:21:57this stuff is is the is the cartoon
0:22:00dilbert I really is that the guy i
0:22:03really get so much wisdom said about the
0:22:05guy who has periodic cultural bumps in
0:22:08the workplace and yeah I think that's a
0:22:10good description yeah yeah he he's
0:22:12trying to navigate his workplace because
0:22:15it's called it's called Gilbert is that
0:22:16correct
0:22:16Gilbert yeah this isn't this isn't the
0:22:18guy who sleeps in like lasagna
0:22:20no no that's a different guy no this is
0:22:23that this guy's he has it he has a job
0:22:25and he goes there and oh my god his
0:22:28sauce food what a nut
0:22:31anyway I was I went to a grocery store
0:22:32the other day in a different
0:22:34neighborhood and I this was in this is
0:22:39in the north part of seattle which as
0:22:40you know my theory of American cities is
0:22:43that the north side of the city is
0:22:45always nice and the south side of the
0:22:46city is always bad okay 99 times out of
0:22:5023 no question
0:22:51yeah and anybody you say the south side
0:22:53of this town you might as well sell say
0:22:54MLK drive
0:22:56exactly anybody that's gonna send not to
0:22:58say that and no no that's not all he was
0:23:01he was a great president no question was
0:23:02he was wonderful man but uh but it and
0:23:05even people who come to me and say like
0:23:07well what about East st. Louis and
0:23:08western Louis I say what about south
0:23:10east st. louis and then they have to go
0:23:13oh ok you can triangulate that right so
0:23:16anyway I go to a grocery store on the
0:23:18north side of town which is sort of a
0:23:19rare occurrence for me and I walk in and
0:23:24there's like Muzak playing and a guy
0:23:30walks by me in an apron and he says good
0:23:33morning and then somebody else walks
0:23:36past and it looks like and this grocery
0:23:38store looks like it looks like the
0:23:41grocery store there were john denver
0:23:42worked in oh god oh yeah yeah you know
0:23:46answer they knew how to run a goddamn
0:23:47brushes you know what I'm walking around
0:23:49and I go over to the deli counter and
0:23:50they're like oh would you like a stuffed
0:23:52pepper
0:23:53like a stuffed pepper how long has that
0:23:55been sitting there like you mean we just
0:23:57made him 20 minutes ago and I start to
0:24:00quiz the person like what about the ones
0:24:02you don't sell their like all we usually
0:24:03sell them all
0:24:04I'm like what about the ones you don't
0:24:07they're like oh we throw away like this
0:24:09is amazing this place this group this is
0:24:12a grocery these people are grocers and
0:24:16then I simply they're not simply
0:24:17preparing food it's not like in Florida
0:24:19where you could go by pretty good
0:24:20macaroni and cheese stuffed pepper is a
0:24:22pretty rarefied vertical market
0:24:24yeah i'm looking behind the counter and
0:24:26there are they're probably there are
0:24:28more people working behind the deli
0:24:30counter then there are customers in the
0:24:32store I was like it's amazing and this
0:24:36is why people buy their houses
0:24:38this is why people buy their houses in
0:24:40nice neighborhoods because they get nice
0:24:44grocery stores and the the cops don't
0:24:46fly helicopters over their houses in the
0:24:48middle of the night and the reason
0:24:49people buy houses in poor neighborhoods
0:24:51they can't afford houses in rich
0:24:52neighborhoods they don't have enough
0:24:54money because they don't have enough
0:24:55money i was having I was having a real
0:24:58eye-opening experience that the one with
0:25:01north side of town that have the more
0:25:02expensive homes in the better jobs make
0:25:05more money than the people that have a
0:25:07not as nice houses that's right and they
0:25:09have a nicer things there when they go
0:25:11through the storms they did just as just
0:25:13curious as a side note later they're
0:25:14stuffed peppers everybody get your
0:25:16knowledge there are no stuffed peppers
0:25:17at all and not even at my local like big
0:25:20grocery store are their stuffed peppers
0:25:22so so I was I was really I was not his
0:25:26left eye opener John and then i realized
0:25:28that i lived in my neighborhood because
0:25:30I didn't have a lot of money and I was
0:25:34like you got a lot you've got a lot of
0:25:35house for the day though that's a pretty
0:25:37nice place
0:25:38that's what they say that's what they
0:25:39say well ok can I suggest there might be
0:25:41one thread here
0:25:42ah money money yeah because here's what
0:25:46I think here's what I think your your
0:25:48your local and the upscale on northern
0:25:51place have in common and it is to turn
0:25:54then I'm going throughout called profit
0:25:55per square foot now it's my
0:25:57understanding that in the grocery racket
0:25:59the margins are thin at best
0:26:01right so so if you're going to sell
0:26:03flower right i mean you know if you go
0:26:05anywhere
0:26:06let's think about it
0:26:07urban like I want to like not a resort
0:26:09town but you go somewhere where there's
0:26:10very limited you know small footprint
0:26:14for the place where you buy stuff right
0:26:16you go in there they're gonna have some
0:26:17forty dollar crappy sunglasses got some
0:26:19$90 suntan lotion those $85 Marlboros or
0:26:23whatever you guys all stuff the tourists
0:26:25would want to buy the cost a lot but
0:26:27they don't have flour on sale because
0:26:29there's not i know this sounds obvious
0:26:30but again the important thing is money
0:26:33on flowers always a loss leader you get
0:26:35them people that's how you get him in
0:26:36for the flour and then maybe they stay
0:26:38for the stuff that's right give a little
0:26:39bit of sexy show a little bit of leg you
0:26:41say we got it we got in here but it was
0:26:43so anyway I I this is a i mean i think
0:26:45the point of money is is not is not
0:26:47obvious but i think that the deeper
0:26:48point is that this is why it's all about
0:26:51lottery tickets and fucking gift cards
0:26:52yeah for Franco for that matter is if
0:26:54they you know the the baffling part to
0:26:57me is in some ways in this is sad John
0:26:59there's a cultural critic i hope you
0:27:00remark on this but it's not to me so
0:27:02amazing that they don't have two liters
0:27:06of faygo at a reasonable retail price of
0:27:09that place where even that they don't
0:27:10cover be have cheese in there applause
0:27:12my name is that can remain profitable
0:27:13for that place on the north side to have
0:27:16an olive bar i'm trying to do a quick
0:27:20mental calculation to have something
0:27:21like 80 square feet of olive bar
0:27:25yeah she was that about right sweats a
0:27:29lot of square footage for olives
0:27:31yeah it is and that it is amazing that
0:27:33it can remain profitable but but I mean
0:27:35do I look at that stuff and I think it's
0:27:37it it's a thing when i go into a grocery
0:27:39store and I pick a thing of faygo up off
0:27:42the arms off the counter and look at it
0:27:44says 99 cents for two liters of faygo
0:27:46right i am for whatever reason much more
0:27:50conscious of how much money I'm spending
0:27:53and what I'm getting for that money then
0:27:56when I look at an olive bar where they
0:27:57say you know a cup with seven olives in
0:28:00it is only 14 99 but these all that
0:28:03they've got a hot food buffet that's
0:28:05like seventeen dollars a pound and but
0:28:07you don't think about you know your load
0:28:10into a state of sort of that uh of
0:28:12feeling like you this is the these are
0:28:14luxury items and it's worth it because
0:28:17this is especially it's my apps
0:28:20act because its bulk for one right you
0:28:23don't know you're gonna have to wait
0:28:24your own olives to find out how much
0:28:26money you're gonna oh my god check this
0:28:28out you're walking you're walking to the
0:28:29oh gosh oh god that's so embarrassing i
0:28:32always i own this is so undignified i
0:28:35went to a supermarket the other day and
0:28:37a different that this is not a nice
0:28:39supermarket of a regular shitty one and
0:28:42they're a bunch of people in line
0:28:43waiting to get through the supermarket
0:28:44and then there's this new check yourself
0:28:47out never go through then check this out
0:28:50i'm looking at it and I never do either
0:28:51because I feel like that whatever
0:28:53whatever amount of money that i'm paying
0:28:55to buy things at this store
0:28:57I want the human interaction i am paying
0:29:00for it anyway I want the person to touch
0:29:03my cans perfect and i want to bring it
0:29:06up and I want them to tell me to have a
0:29:07nice day and I want them to hold up the
0:29:09the receipt at the end and say oh mr.
0:29:11Roderick you saved for you like this
0:29:13exchanges I do it's a present it and the
0:29:15thing is it's factored into the price of
0:29:17my goods
0:29:18they're not giving me a discount to go
0:29:20over and check myself out
0:29:21you're screwing yourself out of money
0:29:22and time that's exactly right i have
0:29:24already paid for this person to talk to
0:29:27me and touch my cans
0:29:28mhm i do not i'm not going to go over
0:29:31and do it myself and talk to a robot
0:29:32unless I get ten percent all those
0:29:35robots are taciturn anyway so they are
0:29:37and I so I go over and it's one of these
0:29:39things where there's others like there's
0:29:41seven carts
0:29:43it's like somebody is it's like
0:29:45somebody's outfitting a ship that's
0:29:47going to see for a year and and and so i
0:29:51can't i can't wait in line I only got
0:29:53I've only got a handful of items i can't
0:29:54wait in line over there to talk to a
0:29:56human being so I go over to the
0:29:57electronic check out and I'm trying to
0:29:59navigate this thing and it's telling me
0:30:01to put my items in the in the bagging
0:30:03area and it's telling me to do all this
0:30:05stuff that I don't want to do I don't
0:30:07put my items in the bagging area he
0:30:08tells you that you place something in
0:30:10the wrong area in the wrong area that's
0:30:12right fuck does that mean it's saying it
0:30:14i placed in the wrong and I'm like I you
0:30:16know you're the customer John I'm going
0:30:18up the thing I'm like it's what I want
0:30:19it it's in the area that I want it now I
0:30:22don't put in your area and this thing is
0:30:25this thing is resolute it doesn't it
0:30:28doesn't listen to reason and so I I
0:30:30leaned over and there's that there's a
0:30:32employee a safe way and this is
0:30:33safeway store it safely employee there
0:30:36and I and I kind of leaned over and I
0:30:37said can you help me with this because
0:30:38the machine is telling me to and this
0:30:41employee the safeway employees having an
0:30:43argument with another employee of safety
0:30:45and they do not want to be interrupted
0:30:49by me and I'm like excuse me and they're
0:30:53like what i said that i was going to be
0:30:55there you know I said I said I got a 15
0:30:57minute break and you said that above and
0:30:59they're having this this like Safeway
0:31:00employee argument right in front of you
0:31:02right in front of me and and like
0:31:03basically kind of like giving me the
0:31:05hand and I'm about to say where's your
0:31:11manager and I look and one of them's the
0:31:14manager of God and so I i I'm standing
0:31:19in between this robot that's that's
0:31:21that's giving me orders and a manager of
0:31:24a grocery store that is having not only
0:31:27having a public argument with one of her
0:31:29employees but it is but it is giving me
0:31:32the hand and so you know what I did who
0:31:35I stole a potato has your job gotten
0:31:42hotter than fresh pumpkin chili tired of
0:31:44kissing the wrong bird mired down by
0:31:46your managers fear of even the slightest
0:31:48prison in corporate discourse
0:31:50well you're not alone igloo software
0:31:52understand your pain igloo helps you
0:31:54work better with other people by keeping
0:31:56your team your files and your
0:31:58conversations together in one digital
0:32:00workplace
0:32:01you can even work from home and you're
0:32:02altogether sealed to your red leather
0:32:04chair just steps away from all your
0:32:05favorite globes candlesticks and cowboy
0:32:07boots as you do so go to glue
0:32:10software.com / find your duck and sign
0:32:12up for your free 30-day trial bring your
0:32:15team in from the cold by getting inside
0:32:17the igloo in any case they had so much
0:32:21more than that coming i think you let
0:32:23them off easy it you you know you could
0:32:26have demanded a lot of satisfaction and
0:32:28given a very extensive and penetrating
0:32:31course in managerial procedure to that
0:32:33lady could have done but instead i just
0:32:36put some produce in my bag that i did
0:32:38not weigh and did not did not pay for
0:32:42and I felt
0:32:44felt ashamed of myself at the same time
0:32:46at the same time I felt like this is the
0:32:49cost
0:32:50this is the cost that you grocery store
0:32:52are going to incur for putting me
0:32:54through this
0:32:54this is my ten percent off you want to
0:32:56comment card here's the comment cards
0:32:58start counting up your fucking potatoes
0:33:00this is and in fact it was not a
0:33:01potatoes and onion now that i recall i
0:33:03call it was an onion not a potato but I
0:33:06said this onion is your time to know the
0:33:09kind onion it was well you know I have
0:33:13this problem all the time and that's why
0:33:15self-checkout is a clusterfuck and you
0:33:17really you want me to look it's a
0:33:18Bermuda onion is a white onion is a
0:33:20yellow onion scallion now you need to
0:33:22tell me the Merlin because you use
0:33:24person that knows this type of thing but
0:33:26I go and look at the onions and I'm
0:33:27gonna make you don't care what kind it
0:33:29is I just don't want to have to talk to
0:33:30a robot about what I put onion i put in
0:33:33the wrong place the wrong kind and
0:33:34Michael's run my card again this is
0:33:36before this this is what I have this
0:33:37problem before this I look at those 14
0:33:39kinds of onions even a even a shitty
0:33:41safeway don't know the fucking
0:33:43difference between an onion
0:33:44this is another yellow onion this is a
0:33:46white onion am i picking it I really
0:33:48picking it because of color
0:33:49yeah i'm gonna throw it into a soup who
0:33:51tell me Merlin what is I just want you
0:33:54know what I want I want the right onion
0:33:56and I don't know how to tell the right
0:33:59onion iib I would be happy to give you
0:34:01some of my own practical heuristics on
0:34:04this it will be useful to you it would i
0:34:06would like a know how to choose the
0:34:08right because I look at these onions and
0:34:09I end up just picking one that looks
0:34:11friendly
0:34:11mhm i can look through the onions and
0:34:13i'm like i like i like this guy he's
0:34:15like him he's got a nice shape piece of
0:34:18who doesn't have any dancer brown spots
0:34:21yeah he's kind he's got a little bit of
0:34:22he's got a little little kind of papery
0:34:24outside but it kinda looks fresh as
0:34:27fresh as an onion I'll just I'll tell
0:34:29you the best that I now I mean I
0:34:30essentially setting sighs a site aside
0:34:34for a minute
0:34:35I mean obviously you can have your
0:34:36scallions or green onions if you want
0:34:38some little onions but by and large
0:34:39round dome you i think i think based yes
0:34:42/ amongst the round onion I think
0:34:44there's basic it's not super complicated
0:34:47yes purple is why they're yellow there's
0:34:48like how much you want it to taste like
0:34:50an onion
0:34:51is the question and there is a continuum
0:34:53and it's not super complicated at the
0:34:55one you've got a white onion which is
0:34:56useless just the way I'm doesn't taste
0:34:59like anything why he doesn't really
0:35:00taste like an onion
0:35:01it's mhm its yeah it's sort of like it's
0:35:04like an Ivy League onion you gotta
0:35:05either got a purple onion which is a
0:35:07kind of a sweeter taste you got the
0:35:09classic yellow onion which is young you
0:35:10should buy I think a good good good get
0:35:13my yellow and unique I Bermuda onion
0:35:14which is funny because they're so big
0:35:16but again this is this is you know what
0:35:18we could be fine with yellow onions
0:35:20that's why you don't hear that i'm glad
0:35:22that you say that because that that
0:35:24dovetails with what with my
0:35:26decision-making process which is that if
0:35:28the thing has more color of a vegetable
0:35:30has more color i assume that it has more
0:35:33stuff in it you know like a yellow I by
0:35:38yellow onions instead of white ones
0:35:39because i assumed all yellow
0:35:41I you know you found da you found a meta
0:35:43pattern you ever have a white peach vs a
0:35:45yellow peach fuck that white peach going
0:35:47to teach people shit you don't want a
0:35:49white PT exactly you my darkest color of
0:35:52thing but you can get the richest the
0:35:54richest non rotten color and that's how
0:35:57you're going to find the right onion i
0:35:58think it's i think it said I think it's
0:35:59a terrific point but if you ever seen
0:36:00like a new checker I called checkers
0:36:02even knew checker we're going to flip
0:36:04flip flip flo you have to find out the
0:36:06price of the yeah it doesn't always have
0:36:07like a little sticker on or anything the
0:36:09end of this charging for artisanal kale
0:36:11when you're really buying fucking celery
0:36:12or something like that
0:36:13well you know I'm the guy that stands
0:36:15there after they checked me out and read
0:36:16the receipt checks everything checks
0:36:19everything I think safe we need your
0:36:21friction they feel like such a dick when
0:36:22I do it but and i'm always friendly but
0:36:24honestly I'm and you want to talk about
0:36:25supermarkets I would be I'm totally okay
0:36:27talk about supermarket I got a lot on
0:36:29supermarket I know you do I know you
0:36:31feel strongly about this
0:36:32well let me start with one thing just to
0:36:33get this out of the way first of all
0:36:35self checkout is for suckers
0:36:37it's really stupid the piano I have
0:36:39friends who insist I friend to insist
0:36:41that it is faster and more efficient and
0:36:44more pleasant and to them I say you are
0:36:46full of shit you know who those people
0:36:48are there the Union rat 0 and today
0:36:52that's not that's different to get
0:36:54uniforms they get uniforms these are the
0:36:56people who are complicit in their own
0:36:59haha
0:37:01that own enslavement got it they're the
0:37:03guys who run the block and they get a
0:37:04better fresh they're the ones who are
0:37:06like oh they made me this they made me
0:37:08the sheriff of nottingham so now I'm so
0:37:10I agree with their policies got it I got
0:37:12it I got it
0:37:13so yeah I i see those people all the
0:37:15time were like oh no this is way better
0:37:17i got this app on my iPhone that allows
0:37:19me to to pay for gasoline without taking
0:37:22a credit card out they are complicit
0:37:24your implicit in their own tacit
0:37:26cultural enslavement you didn't rat you
0:37:28didn't rat through you should get a
0:37:30yellow you rather away you know you can
0:37:32read quite right away why you let me ask
0:37:35you a question and this is this a
0:37:36rhetorical question so you know you can
0:37:38answer rhetorically if you want but have
0:37:39you ever stood at self checkout let's be
0:37:42honest self checkout line always longer
0:37:44because everybody's waiting for the
0:37:45convenience if you wait self-conscious
0:37:47like a fucking stand back I hate this
0:37:49but you stand there have been two ideas
0:37:52the deal with shopping carts who is
0:37:55coming up with this stuff but here's
0:37:57what bugs me is I i see that line i've
0:37:59tried to go through self checkout on
0:38:01maybe three occasions ever and i had
0:38:02precisely the same experience every time
0:38:04first of all it's a very long line of
0:38:06people who think of themselves as
0:38:07Mavericks yeah that's right those are
0:38:09the people the people would be a with
0:38:11whether it's like yeah
0:38:13bluetooth the telephone absolutely oh
0:38:15it's like you know on the one hand
0:38:17you've got like tall guys buying ice
0:38:20cream with minivans I with ice cream
0:38:23tall guys by a name brand fucking nun
0:38:25sandwich style ice cream right and and
0:38:29now you know and now they're not going
0:38:30to be bothered with all that
0:38:31flibbertigibbet of having to wait in
0:38:33line like a sucker they're all know
0:38:34they're gonna do this okay but then all
0:38:36you know the things within there are
0:38:37variety people and they're all stupid
0:38:38and then you get up there
0:38:40I have never seen I will say this I've
0:38:43seen some people have transactions on
0:38:46occasion that went without a hitch right
0:38:48I'm going to say seventy nine times out
0:38:51of 87 times there's some glitch the
0:38:53robot yells at you it didn't like your
0:38:55card LOL oh you wanna buy some vodka can
0:38:58haha about three you know here's the
0:39:02thing people who are good at the
0:39:04self-checkout having gone through a
0:39:06self-training where they've gone and
0:39:08they they have spent the time and energy
0:39:10to be trained by this machine how do
0:39:14uses the machine will you know if you
0:39:16use if you do it for John's the thin end
0:39:18of the wedge yeah the Machine trains you
0:39:21and then they're good at and they're
0:39:22like look at me but I'm gonna look at
0:39:24this I can scan really well but of all
0:39:26the people of all the things that I want
0:39:28to be trained in of all the like welding
0:39:32classes I could be taking or like
0:39:34artistic macrame I could be doing
0:39:36whatever the last thing I want to spend
0:39:38my mental and emotional energy on is
0:39:40being trained by a supermarket computer
0:39:43how to use it to buy onions to buy to
0:39:46buy onions that I could be talking to
0:39:48the checker download your mind when you
0:39:49don't understand from robots to think
0:39:51the better than you
0:39:52that's right that is galling it's really
0:39:54going and you know I like there are lots
0:39:56of things I I I have allowed myself to
0:39:59be trained to do like using a Macintosh
0:40:02computer which everyone says oh this is
0:40:05the that's so user-friendly well its
0:40:07user-friendly if you sit in front of it
0:40:09and let it train you to understand its
0:40:12impenetrable internal logic right like
0:40:15i've been using them long enough now
0:40:17that I kind of understand how the how
0:40:19the people how the dopes in California
0:40:22who designed the way this machine thanks
0:40:24how those dopes think like I i I've
0:40:26worked through it you know and I i was
0:40:29forced to let this machine trained me to
0:40:31use it because there's no other way to
0:40:33interact with human beings anymore if
0:40:36you don't know how to use your stupid
0:40:37macintosh computer
0:40:39yeah I I have to agree with you and
0:40:41talking to your mom about the old days
0:40:43and as a strategy using the command line
0:40:44application you know like like you know
0:40:46you might be familiar with us right
0:40:48like it or using an Apple inches i don't
0:40:50know this before can even command lines
0:40:51let alone gooeys this is back when you
0:40:53know had get the four cards even I think
0:40:55actually SAT there with a soldering iron
0:40:56on a computer and then made the program
0:40:58she really I mean she spoke machine
0:41:00language and she spoke it like at the
0:41:03dinner table but when i was an
0:41:07eight-year-old there were times when I
0:41:08would put my head out because you don't
0:41:10go to go to room and my mom and I were
0:41:13good friends my whole life and she would
0:41:15come home from work and she be so
0:41:17excited about having solved this this
0:41:20problem in these mainframe computers
0:41:22that were the size of oil tankers
0:41:24and uh and she would start talking to me
0:41:27about it you know i'm a tour not here so
0:41:28old I would sometimes put my head down
0:41:30on the paper because i was because my
0:41:32brain was so full of numbers and lying
0:41:36lines and and you know she's just so
0:41:38excited about it she's really wants to
0:41:40talk to me about it i was trying to be
0:41:41cool and show off that every single
0:41:43technology i came up with an old
0:41:44technologies like oh no this is before
0:41:46that
0:41:47yeah well I'm checking her and I'm sure
0:41:49she said this to you but her principal
0:41:52the way she interacts with the modern
0:41:54world is she said for the first 40 years
0:41:57of computers we worked into the night to
0:42:02make sure that no user ever experienced
0:42:06an error and we tested and tested and
0:42:10tested and tested until there were no
0:42:13errors and she said as soon as Microsoft
0:42:17took over the world and as soon as you
0:42:19know the the software became the
0:42:22technology
0:42:23she said from that point on the policy
0:42:26has been sent the errors out people will
0:42:28find them and that's how you improve
0:42:30your product
0:42:31you really know your users will report
0:42:34errors back to you and then you refine
0:42:36your product based on people out there
0:42:39using a thing they paid for that there's
0:42:41a little tell us that these peaches are
0:42:43back
0:42:43yeah exactly and she's like she's like
0:42:45it drives me freaking crazy and I mean I
0:42:48we were we were using computers to put a
0:42:50man on the moon we did not have the
0:42:53luxury of errors but now your machine
0:42:57crashes your your device goes you know
0:43:00tits up your this year this happens to
0:43:03that happens you can't get it to let the
0:43:05Diagnostics say the diagnostic says the
0:43:07network diagnostics is the network
0:43:08didn't work
0:43:09yeah run the diagnostic it doesn't work
0:43:12great thank you did you try unplugging
0:43:14your device I'm gonna fucking shoot you
0:43:16now would you like to have a live chat
0:43:18and then she's like she's like there's
0:43:20no reason there is no earthly reason why
0:43:24they could not make that what why they
0:43:27could not make these products error-free
0:43:29the only reason they don't is that is
0:43:31more expensive and so yeah so they just
0:43:34they they push it out the door they know
0:43:36it's not ready they know it's not good
0:43:38and you know and then they keep and then
0:43:41they send you an update and the update
0:43:43is a product of of 5,000 people being so
0:43:47frustrated that they're pulling their
0:43:48hair out and then it's like oh we
0:43:50figured out that this needs an update
0:43:52because it doesn't fucking work and she
0:43:54you know so she has this Mickey 78 years
0:43:57old she's seen it all but she has this
0:43:59feeling about about the lives that we're
0:44:01leading and the interaction we have with
0:44:03machines and she's like you what you're
0:44:06interacting with is someone on the other
0:44:08side of the corporation who decided that
0:44:11it wasn't worth the extra 50 man-hours
0:44:14to make the thing work right in the case
0:44:17of something like nuts like Microsoft in
0:44:18particular but really anybody's making
0:44:20consumer products you're trying to make
0:44:22something that's brought enough to sell
0:44:23to a lot of people it's got to do so
0:44:25broadly do so many different sorts of
0:44:26things generally and then there's you
0:44:29know the more stuff that something does
0:44:30the more things there are to test more
0:44:32things there are to go wrong when you
0:44:33buy a car with power windows like that's
0:44:35something that's gonna break right when
0:44:37you get that kind of stuff it you know
0:44:38here's the other thing mr. car with
0:44:40power windows because if you go off a
0:44:41breakdown
0:44:42you can't get out here your cars
0:44:43thinking I really like that we're gonna
0:44:45do you might have to have one of those
0:44:46have you seen those things that they
0:44:47sell the hammer thing went window hammer
0:44:49but but your your sense of my favorite
0:44:52to the black metal bands window hammer
0:44:54window amer your car is sinking in a
0:44:57cold river in the middle of the night
0:44:58and you're going to find that fucking
0:44:59window hammer that you have in your
0:45:00glovebox gotta rehearse
0:45:02I don't think oh that's right so you
0:45:03have to rehearse this is why this is why
0:45:05it might bring himself to use the window
0:45:07hammer again now the cars training you
0:45:09the cars training you
0:45:10the car is training you because because
0:45:13it because the false luxury of a of an
0:45:15automatic but you actually that just one
0:45:17quick Darrell to myself is this is why
0:45:19I've never gotten the hang of most voice
0:45:22recognition software like I have friends
0:45:24I've my friends listen to the show have
0:45:26written you know 50,000 word pieces of
0:45:31writing using dictation but the thing is
0:45:34yeah yeah it but you have to train the
0:45:36dictation this is the fight part one
0:45:37quick you have to go to court train the
0:45:39dictation you have to do is try that one
0:45:41time and this dictation program produced
0:45:44four pages of the most incredible Dada
0:45:48poetry
0:45:49yes I I minded for lyrics for 10 years
0:45:53but but it never it never once produced
0:45:56III was just as i can tell you as part
0:45:59of the live chat here i can i can tell
0:46:00you basically what the likely problem
0:46:03was it was you didn't quote-unquote
0:46:04train the software are we having a live
0:46:07chat
0:46:07it's not what you just said my name is
0:46:09Lawrence and I am to be enjoying
0:46:10volleyball player isn't it funny that
0:46:13the chatroulette that's why did i get so
0:46:17uncomfortable but this is the method to
0:46:21this the case here's the funny thing so
0:46:22they call that training the software
0:46:24right but really it's the software
0:46:25training you it's you it's you learning
0:46:28to speak when you when you open up
0:46:29dragon dictate it shows you about 34
0:46:32pages of things that you read and it
0:46:35tells you how well that you're doing it
0:46:36recommends that you speak try to imagine
0:46:39speaking a like a newscaster with a
0:46:41neutral and so anyway you have no
0:46:43they're training you how to talk period
0:46:45new space news new line new line but
0:46:47here's the thing and you're really onto
0:46:48something I think with the grocery
0:46:50checkout thing is this bigger pattern
0:46:53setting aside from OSHA come back to the
0:46:55profit per square foot but it's really
0:46:57about making something seemed now i'm
0:47:00talking like I'm doing dragon dictation
0:47:02it's about making something seem like
0:47:04it's good for you when it's really just
0:47:06easy for the company that's what it is
0:47:08it's cheap it's cheap because you don't
0:47:10have to pay that idiot manager to sit
0:47:11there and and run your coaches over a
0:47:13scanner my god heaven forfend and this
0:47:16happens to us all the time mrs. part of
0:47:17that this is part of how we are
0:47:19domesticated so that we can live with
0:47:20one another like I understand that a red
0:47:23light at a at a stoplight at an
0:47:24intersection it is not natural for me to
0:47:27come to that thing and stop i have been
0:47:30trained and have trained myself to
0:47:32recognize that red light is not it's not
0:47:35just an an alert about a potential
0:47:37danger but it has become just a thing
0:47:39that now i acquiesce to without thinking
0:47:42I stopped at the red light even if
0:47:44there's nobody around i stopped at the
0:47:46red light just as a matter of course I
0:47:48have trained myself to do it
0:47:49nominally for the most part and during
0:47:52the day during the day and if it's not
0:47:55an intersection that I know well enough
0:47:56to know that the red light doesn't
0:47:58belong there to serving suggestion to
0:47:59her plenty of red lights and stop signs
0:48:01in this city that I have determined
0:48:03are superfluous to my needs and I don't
0:48:06stop at them but let's still were just
0:48:08talking about let's say a red light in a
0:48:09strange town but at the point at which i
0:48:14am being trained in that same way like
0:48:16here's a red light stop the same kind of
0:48:18unconscious training that happens we're
0:48:20the only point of that training is to is
0:48:23to improve the profit margin of a
0:48:25company that I hate that is where i
0:48:28repel and and and generally like it when
0:48:30i when i go through the supermarket
0:48:31checkout line and talk to a real human
0:48:33being I am conscious of the fact that is
0:48:38actually taking it's actually costing
0:48:41the store more you understand it when
0:48:45yeah i'm i'm i'm aware that that my
0:48:48interaction with this person like
0:48:51aggregated over over 10,000 interactions
0:48:54cost the store more than if i went
0:48:56through the checkout and I am and there
0:48:59are certain stores in certain retail
0:49:01encounters that I have where I i used
0:49:04that as a punitive measure like I go I
0:49:08go through the process in the most
0:49:11labor-intensive way possible as a way of
0:49:13like punishing the company i know it's a
0:49:17small thing but it's how i could only
0:49:19you directly punish the company
0:49:21well there are there have to be ways you
0:49:23will see this is this is able to take
0:49:25off your clothes yeah exactly through
0:49:26the chair through the window but see
0:49:28that's my problem is I go and I go in
0:49:30there and i got i'm going to go up I'm
0:49:31gonna go pick up when i get a magazine
0:49:34I'm gonna get some yogurt and made a
0:49:35handle of tequila and the lines are now
0:49:39going down down all the way down the
0:49:41aisles and so you know how I give it to
0:49:42the man I put all those things I got
0:49:44down i just put it down and walk out
0:49:46like that'll show right because like all
0:49:48I'm doing is all you're doing is making
0:49:49work for somebody who's gonna have to go
0:49:51clean that up right
0:49:53it's a shame that your potato cannot be
0:49:54registered you know in some way or using
0:49:57your onion could be registered in a way
0:49:58that could express your descent in a
0:50:00more muscular way than being just short
0:50:02and onion that's a goddamn shame well
0:50:04and I feel like I feel like the because
0:50:06routinely in i think this happens to me
0:50:08at least once a day maybe sometimes on a
0:50:11bad day five times a day but where I
0:50:14come up to the counter and I see that
0:50:16that
0:50:16a store is being run badly or a
0:50:18situation a commercial situation is
0:50:21being managed poorly and it costs them
0:50:25my business like I look at it and I go
0:50:28right i was about to spend X number of
0:50:31dollars here but because i don't approve
0:50:33of the way the stores being run I it is
0:50:35costing them my business and that is a
0:50:38way I I and that is a it's a mute thing
0:50:41I don't go to the manager and say you
0:50:43know this cost you my business is your
0:50:45mind bullets i just sent my mind bullets
0:50:47out and I say boom i'm not buying this
0:50:49now I'm not shopping here but i think a
0:50:52big part of of why I do that why that is
0:50:54a mantra is that a lot of people go into
0:50:58those commercial situations and the
0:51:00frustration builds up in them but they
0:51:03need the thing where they think they
0:51:05need the thing that they're there to buy
0:51:06and so they endure the the shitty the
0:51:13shitty exchange or there but they're
0:51:15storing up all the all the frustration
0:51:17and anger in themselves you know because
0:51:20they because they have put their need
0:51:22above any other consideration and so I
0:51:26need the need exists in obscurity and
0:51:27they're almost worshipping that need in
0:51:29a way that has been setting aside the
0:51:31culture dignity the need is way up in
0:51:33the clouds its way up above where they
0:51:35can see and so they're in these
0:51:37situations that are just like I am
0:51:39there's nothing i can do i need this
0:51:40thing and I just now they're kinda mad
0:51:43at themselves to their there and it
0:51:45turns into a form of self-hate and this
0:51:47so what I do in those situations is my
0:51:50primary interaction and my the need is
0:51:56is below the desire to have a positive
0:51:59exchange like if I can't have a positive
0:52:02exchange then the need goes away and
0:52:05it's a way of like of of keeping myself
0:52:08saying in a in a world that does not
0:52:11care about me as a customer now is this
0:52:13all inward turning is this internal soft
0:52:15regulation a kind of anger meditation or
0:52:18are you how is this how is this was the
0:52:20healthiness in this well by saying like
0:52:22you're not getting my business but not
0:52:25saying it but not saying not saying to
0:52:27people just saying it to myself okay you
0:52:29getting my business hey it then I then I
0:52:34kind of have a moment where you're like
0:52:35a really personal complaint department
0:52:37I but i will go across the street or
0:52:40down the block or across town to a
0:52:43different store if if I if I actually
0:52:45need a thing rather than then have a bad
0:52:49customer service experience with a
0:52:51shitty story that's being run poorly and
0:52:53it's a small thing but I think if more
0:52:55of us thought this way it does this is
0:52:58this is precisely this is precisely
0:53:01capitalism as it is meant to work or
0:53:04capitalism as they discuss its evolution
0:53:06as intended to where everyone would
0:53:07discuss it as Babylon has cited numerous
0:53:09times this is how it should work supply
0:53:11and demand
0:53:12well you know the there if you're stuck
0:53:14you're stuck in yuan Fei go out in
0:53:16John's a hood let me say network ping
0:53:18pong but if you want that well you know
0:53:20you may be out of luck and you may have
0:53:21to satisfy for a doctor fig on right
0:53:23this is precisely why i never ever ever
0:53:27go into this little Korean bottega by my
0:53:30house because I went in there five years
0:53:32ago when I moved in here and the kid
0:53:35looked up from his video game and he
0:53:36said what's half-and-half yeah and I
0:53:39never went back
0:53:40just echoes in your head that was like
0:53:42me and the racist fireman bar i'm so
0:53:44excited more than the racist fireman bar
0:53:47when I first moved in placed on the
0:53:48corner
0:53:48I was like those reasons of a new it's
0:53:50amazing grace its Mason Reese the child
0:53:52actor who still a child oddly enough in
0:53:54a pituitary problem
0:53:55no I was so excited because you know I i
0:53:58was excited in Florida have a place like
0:54:00a kind of call my own my little sort of
0:54:01shares fireman bar there in your new
0:54:03house Connor Connors yeah yeah yeah but
0:54:05yeah yeah i think it was about that the
0:54:07first time I went and he walked me past
0:54:08the first time I met you and you're like
0:54:11that's a great experiment bar I never go
0:54:13in there it sucks i went in there like
0:54:14oh this is cool it's kind of blue collar
0:54:16and I went in there and within within
0:54:19the first couple seconds hurt nigger sit
0:54:21around all day watching TV hot attacked
0:54:23attire and it's like well i checked
0:54:25least I up and i'm not saying that they
0:54:29did up
0:54:30I'm saying naked I mean they really let
0:54:32it peel and that was just ok and they
0:54:35just they were throwing lucky charms at
0:54:36each other
0:54:38apparently these folks just watch TV and
0:54:42their women and they keep getting
0:54:43promotions and they they love their TV
0:54:45these folks apparently forty-seven
0:54:47percent of the population and so I
0:54:49didn't you nobody is a funny thing
0:54:50there's several places in my
0:54:51neighborhood that only in the last
0:54:52couple years have i returned to after
0:54:55what you're describing which is the
0:54:56initial like whoa experience this
0:54:59replacement you know about money hands
0:55:00you know the iso places what he's
0:55:02amazing he's amazing your neighbor and
0:55:04you not told you this before but one
0:55:05reason i love that guy i have an Inside
0:55:06Man here in the neighborhood who is in
0:55:08the merchants association tells me all
0:55:09the dirt and what's great about that
0:55:11place in our favor so I think I told you
0:55:12this is that it's it's not just purely
0:55:16amazing that they had cats in the
0:55:19kitchen
0:55:21here's here's the really really cool
0:55:23part about it is they didn't mind that
0:55:26there were cats in the kitchen they
0:55:28weren't they were to strip the healthy
0:55:29people didn't mind here's the thing no
0:55:31no no money and money hands had cats and
0:55:33pitch and here's here's where it gets
0:55:35great so you think oh haha that's funny
0:55:38they're silly they're mad and trying to
0:55:40shoot cats out with a broom or they're
0:55:42insane and like cats hanging around
0:55:45no no it's much weirder than that just
0:55:47happened to be cats persistently in the
0:55:50kitchen and they it just was just thing
0:55:53oh so that's a dim sum place we go to
0:55:55all the time
0:55:56that's the best dim sum of the world i
0:55:57had dim sum for breakfast the other day
0:55:59I was so jealous i saw your photograph
0:56:01is very doing things you get 60 mi that
0:56:04I could see right in front of you
0:56:05yeah is what when she came in she said
0:56:07to my I was like give me to give me to
0:56:09keep moving keep moving it was basically
0:56:11keep badgering you while you're eating
0:56:12to get more got it was the worst we hang
0:56:14that not the worst but I mean we we
0:56:16showed up we were shown to our table i
0:56:18was putting the baby in her little baby
0:56:21seat by mistake about that is already a
0:56:23woman there with the cart like trying to
0:56:26foist sugar covered pork buns on me and
0:56:29I'm like hey lady I got my coat on still
0:56:31I haven't even sat down all know that
0:56:33that is hard sales that is you know what
0:56:34that is that's fucking meeting that's
0:56:36when she looked at me like she doesn't
0:56:37speak English em some dim sum boiler
0:56:40room is what it is they're on ok
0:56:43actually the dim sum guy in your
0:56:45neighborhood he never washes his hands
0:56:47yeah and who has now I not only talking
0:56:49money that's in the kitchen but somehow
0:56:51stickin outta here cisco is fine with
0:56:53this guy may never shut him down and I
0:56:55think our entire I think our entire
0:56:57health inspection thing is a total
0:57:00racket i'm pretty sure to two places
0:57:02that night well one place that I've been
0:57:04to a few times in another place I've
0:57:06been to a lot of times have been shut
0:57:08down in the last couple months for what
0:57:10I would just say are some fairly
0:57:12egregious problems
0:57:13yeah yeah yeahs a place that I like when
0:57:16people come to town I was taken to this
0:57:17where we're going to that place too long
0:57:20vietnamese place yeah with eric i think
0:57:22yeah yeah they had live and dead roaches
0:57:25the eggs that have been out for three
0:57:27days it was just really pretty bad
0:57:30it's like all the way down the line I
0:57:32think they'd live and dead mice and
0:57:34that's you know pick one you don't have
0:57:36the ice dead mice and live mice so even
0:57:39the mics are kind of like you know not
0:57:40real picky i'm gonna want talking to you
0:57:42I'm I'm standing up now
0:57:44yes i'm going to swat a fly yeah please
0:57:46go ahead with this map of Central
0:57:48American let's see if this works
0:57:49oh haha costa rica oh my god live and
0:57:55dead flies in here live and dead red
0:57:57lightning strange tell you that fly down
0:57:59there are no life was i I realize you're
0:58:02probably not a not a big that can t
0:58:04stand again trust your mechanic this is
0:58:06the problem trust your mechanic the guy
0:58:08that you go to that you go into and you
0:58:10say hey like your dad right
0:58:12your dad needs his car so you're dead
0:58:14this is adding photos became he needed a
0:58:16car so that he could drive to his
0:58:18mechanic every week to find out what
0:58:20needed to be fixed about his car is that
0:58:21a fair assessment that is exactly
0:58:23correct
0:58:23okay well god bless your dad but that's
0:58:25kind of typical not that typifies the
0:58:28cultural problem that we're talking
0:58:29about here in some ways isn't it is i
0:58:31have learned this learned training by by
0:58:36these very societal robots
0:58:38yeah well I I mean I feel like that's a
0:58:40lot of people's relationship to alcohol
0:58:42too
0:58:42I need this alcohol to get over these
0:58:45problems that are being caused by the
0:58:47meeting alcohol the real ones float
0:58:49oh that's good John that's good
0:58:51um here's my problem um I wish
0:58:54self-checkout works and in some ways I
0:58:56think self-checkout is the thin and a
0:58:59surprising wedge like I i think that is
0:59:02a stupid fucking hack on top of
0:59:04something from basically the 19th
0:59:06century which is waiting in line to have
0:59:09somebody bring up your stuff like if you
0:59:11think about it like if you're going to
0:59:12really try to if you like up and that
0:59:14paradigm it wouldn't be to make a
0:59:16slightly shittier version of a shitty
0:59:18process right it would be to do
0:59:20something smart like what I with you
0:59:22well I mean like in some ways let's be
0:59:24honest it's going to go the way of
0:59:25amazon if there's any sense to this
0:59:27you'll make a giant grocery order and go
0:59:29pick it up somewhere
0:59:30ryan the guy in a brown in a brown suit
0:59:33is going to show up at your house with
0:59:34your groceries not necessarily but see
0:59:37like walmart for years as is goofy and
0:59:40scary as Walmart is like they're really
0:59:41smart like they use our face they know
0:59:43where everything is they know everything
0:59:45about their their supply chain the way
0:59:46they've been able to do what they do is
0:59:48they have these warehouses all over the
0:59:50place it's super lean just-in-time other
0:59:52douche talk but but but here's the thing
0:59:54so how are you improve this okay here's
0:59:56me here's me okay this is me at safeway
0:59:58where I'm just always so angry
0:59:58where I'm just always so angry
1:00:00I'm so fucking angry at safeway so
1:00:01here's me and your and your beloved
1:00:03cashiers this is this is my transaction
1:00:05ok I've got here's what I've got I've
1:00:06got to I got some yogurt
1:00:08I got some tequila I got some lime juice
1:00:10and I got 4 replies
1:00:13oh right okay ready this is a daily
1:00:16thing right
1:00:17hey 444 revised it's like this every day
1:00:21yeah that's my favorite howling love
1:00:22songs and and so I'm greeted i'm greeted
1:00:25in this incredibly grim way to go
1:00:27uh-oh did you find everything in here
1:00:29today i said and i go and you can't
1:00:32really see some fairly making noise I
1:00:33mostly just nodding my head as if to say
1:00:35no like I just I don't even respond well
1:00:37why the fuck you care for that way you
1:00:38know why cause I told you to say that is
1:00:40for anything any ok you are you enjoying
1:00:43your day
1:00:45thank you did you have a loyalty park
1:00:48you type in your your front of us so get
1:00:52me a debit or credit cash would you like
1:00:56to donate a dollar for a penis cancer
1:00:58no thank you I like penis cancer i would
1:01:02like to see it continue
1:01:03did you see that we have mms on sale ah
1:01:06i did thank you
1:01:08mm-hmm stakes yummy
1:01:12oh wow you really you really have to
1:01:15have a real chatter yes yummy lime are
1:01:18you making pie
1:01:19no I'm putting it in the fucking tequila
1:01:21you piece of shit
1:01:24now listen that the I think you're doing
1:01:25this wrong and I hate to be a one that
1:01:27tells you you're doing something wrong
1:01:28did you bring your bags no I didn't
1:01:30bring my bags are putting my backpack
1:01:32thank you for saving a tree here's your
1:01:34receipt at 16 feet long with seven
1:01:36coupons i leave sitting there
1:01:38fuck you i think i think the same
1:01:40approach to cashiers that I do taxi
1:01:42drivers times I i I'd say turn it off it
1:01:46they say hi welcome to to safeway and
1:01:48already have your customer card and I
1:01:49say yeah right here so i know when i say
1:01:52and I say so where you from
1:01:55uh-huh well where where'd you grow up
1:01:57and they're like huh
1:02:00I'm from I'm from around here and I'm
1:02:02like oh really right around here the
1:02:04neighborhood and they're like I me know
1:02:06and then you turn the tables on them and
1:02:08then pretty soon your final round
1:02:09mm okay and then a guy that behind you
1:02:12he's trying to buy the 8-pack of imodium
1:02:14is this kind of tapping his foot a
1:02:16little bit while the guy behind me it
1:02:17was trying to buy a pair of imodium is
1:02:19like you know what I'm not gonna shop
1:02:21here today because this is a constant
1:02:23rate so he steals and I mean he puts the
1:02:26mountain down and see us magazine rack
1:02:29skills and onion for okay here and
1:02:33that's how i do my part I know you from
1:02:35your from you you get it back to them
1:02:38you give as good as you get your selling
1:02:39the salesman right you're watching the
1:02:41watchmen even better I don't let don't
1:02:43let a clerk give me his memorized
1:02:46pattern
1:02:47are you kidding me but seriously John IP
1:02:49they have a sign back there with three
1:02:51bullets on about the three things you're
1:02:52supposed to say to every customer number
1:02:54one is accidentally found gives me
1:02:56memorized pattern
1:02:58oh my goal is immediately to break their
1:03:01pattern and to get them to fight to get
1:03:04your gonna ask them a question for which
1:03:06there is no tab in the binder when
1:03:09somebody comes to my door and they want
1:03:10to talk to me about Jehovah I i
1:03:13immediately I don't let them go three
1:03:15words into a pattern your panty smells
1:03:17like grape juice
1:03:18yeah I get all Rob Delaney on my mind
1:03:21however is your bush haha yeah this is
1:03:26you know like we end up you know they
1:03:28end up coming in we end up getting to
1:03:29know each other
1:03:30yeah I had a friend i have a friend who
1:03:32is it a DJ at the college radio station
1:03:34she's great she's great musician she's a
1:03:36really nice person but I I later found
1:03:38out it was a friend of mine who had been
1:03:40terrorizing her which was pretty much
1:03:42all the time if she did anything more
1:03:44than back announced what the song was
1:03:46and say what's coming up my friend call
1:03:47her on the phone and say let's talk more
1:03:49Rokk to hang up the phone every time
1:03:52let's talk more Rokk and she would cook
1:03:53should be in tears and found that it's
1:03:55actually a friend of mine really good
1:03:56friend of mine but I wondering if that
1:03:58can be our onion replacement is talk
1:04:01more Rokk how did you find everything
1:04:03you need less talk more rokk I'm okay
1:04:04are you doing today let's talk more Rokk
1:04:06you have less talk more rokk did you
1:04:08want penis and less talk more rokk penis
1:04:10get less talk more rokk less tell us
1:04:13more rock you know what that should be
1:04:15there should be a long line teacher I
1:04:17mean we already
1:04:18a lot of people i think it's cute it's
1:04:20certainly a companion piece to keep
1:04:21moving and get out of the way but what I
1:04:23like about that though is it's like it's
1:04:25like Hitler it's something everybody can
1:04:26understand
1:04:27yeah right let's talk more Rokk I just
1:04:29love that your friend is sitting there
1:04:30listening to the radio boy's body on
1:04:32sunday morning acoustic show is gonna
1:04:35stick that's a shot Coleman chef and
1:04:38Dave picks up the phone and it's been
1:04:40poor jen is their answers the phone now
1:04:42you know the BBFS let's talk more Rokk I
1:04:49I you know what is the John it is awful
1:04:52of a person as I am especially in public
1:04:55I'm not such an awful person in private
1:04:57and you know you seen scott me try to
1:04:59make the waitress like it's it's hard to
1:05:00watch
1:05:01yeah yeah have you seen this have you
1:05:02seen as both really go out there to make
1:05:04the waitress like us it's perhaps I
1:05:07genuinely want to be like my and that's
1:05:09my problem with the onion is that i wish
1:05:12i wish there was an onion that I could
1:05:13throw directly at pleasanton california
1:05:15because I don't want to hurt the safeway
1:05:17cashier person because that person is
1:05:19just doing a shitty job I feel bad
1:05:21having to tell this woman who looks like
1:05:23a manatee let's talk more Rokk because
1:05:25she just reading off the fucking card
1:05:27but John can I just say what happens
1:05:30when we all start reading off the
1:05:32fucking card what happens today in land
1:05:36sale in it now while Sudetenland what
1:05:39fishy your fishy you can you get a you
1:05:41become what is it a skate rotten you
1:05:44know skater that students cater but
1:05:46there are there are many many many of us
1:05:47and I mean and I ride on cars John I
1:05:49don't read often i hate to constantly be
1:05:51the voice now in this podcast that
1:05:53sounds like like some kind of crazy tea
1:05:56partier who doesn't understand politics
1:05:57but uh but there's there are many many
1:06:01of us were never thought you'd reached a
1:06:02quiet date on the tea party and then
1:06:05figure the thing about somebody who's
1:06:06working in a store and this is the or
1:06:08working in a restaurant or working
1:06:09anywhere at this is the thing about you
1:06:12waitress appeasers that I keep trying to
1:06:15get through your heads is that dignity
1:06:18dignity
1:06:19they're working a five-hour shift they
1:06:21are not on salary so they're it's a
1:06:25five-hour shift whether you send them
1:06:27back to check to see if there's a
1:06:30blackberry pie or not
1:06:32it's the same five-hour shift whether or
1:06:34not you put your imodium AD down in
1:06:37front of the US magazines and walk out
1:06:38of the store and somebody has to take it
1:06:40back like it's the same final challenge
1:06:43it's it's it's a fixed pie so the thing
1:06:45is they're going to pay people to be at
1:06:47the store whether that's counting onions
1:06:49removing the modem from us magazines or
1:06:52are collecting the money for penis
1:06:53cancer it's all going to be comes out of
1:06:54the same big rotten pot yeah and-and-and
1:06:57the mentality that waitress appeasers a
1:06:59bring into the world is that this
1:07:01cashier or this waitress has something
1:07:03very important to do or that her time is
1:07:06somehow so valuable bet you can't you
1:07:09don't want to bother her to ask her to
1:07:10go back and check again to make sure
1:07:12that they know you're slicing my I mean
1:07:15you're slicing my onion a little bit
1:07:16because i am not doing the liberal who
1:07:19your job is really hard
1:07:20No thank you I'm not doing that I just
1:07:23want her to like me
1:07:24yeah i know you wanted you know that was
1:07:25a little different look at that is you
1:07:27don't want you don't want to send her on
1:07:28a wild goose chase but the thing is a
1:07:30five-hour shift she's there anything you
1:07:33sent on a wild goose chase maybe she
1:07:35gets goes back there and has a menthol
1:07:36cigarette before she comes back you know
1:07:38I could be getting her
1:07:40it's an opportunity cigarette it's an
1:07:41opportunity cigarettes and so when I
1:07:43walk around grocery stores and I decide
1:07:45hey you know what the line is too long
1:07:47i'm going to put this carton of milk
1:07:49down right here in front of their like
1:07:52point-of-purchase display offering me
1:07:55the opportunity to to buy a super-large
1:07:57candy bar and I'm just gonna walk out of
1:07:59this store
1:07:59oh yeah some kid has to come along and
1:08:01put that thing back but that kid's gonna
1:08:04be he's just he's just always gonna have
1:08:06a feeling it's still cold now that goes
1:08:09right back huh
1:08:10doesn't matter that why did we go to
1:08:12grocery stores you can be covered with
1:08:14multiple with moss and he would put it
1:08:15back in them but nobody's gonna make
1:08:17sure efficient this photo with you but
1:08:19that where I really get the suggested
1:08:20cells at walgreens and i have a photo
1:08:22that i shared on my internet site which
1:08:24was a picture of a big rack of Eminem's
1:08:26that I've been pointed to because
1:08:27there's a his name's fan fan is one of
1:08:29my check out guys and not to be confused
1:08:31with pops4 guy trade x-men comics with
1:08:33this is this is fan and I think he's man
1:08:36fans part of the mammoth fan with a PM
1:08:39with a PhD was Jason for a while but now
1:08:40I think he's going back to life and
1:08:42melon
1:08:42him that his given name is this Kunis is
1:08:45fan Mellencamp Mellencamp and he says
1:08:47he's here we have mms on sale and i said
1:08:50yes i did but as you can see here i am
1:08:52buying a quart of chocolate fudge
1:08:54brownie ice cream so I think I'm good
1:08:57the best of all my hand to god I'll show
1:08:59you this photo of this market the short
1:09:00it is literally it is it is a a sign can
1:09:04write next to the eminence in the
1:09:05snickers bar where you can donate for
1:09:07diabetes research
1:09:09oh wow it's no penis cancer but it's
1:09:11something
1:09:12oh this is an example of a other thing
1:09:15I'm still mad at my iphone about this
1:09:17this happened nine months ago but i was
1:09:19at the grocery store late at night and
1:09:22I'm looking for i'm looking for a ribeye
1:09:25or store some imodium really love their
1:09:28line tonight and I and and so there used
1:09:32to be a grocery store it down in this
1:09:34neighborhood where I live because others
1:09:36to the grocery store that had a very big
1:09:37kosher section because in addition to
1:09:41all the South Pacific Islanders there is
1:09:44a large contingent of orthodox jews who
1:09:46live nearby in a non claim that is
1:09:49surrounded by a wire Simone's love a
1:09:51nosh but so there was there was there
1:09:53was a section of the of the that was all
1:09:55kosher and then the grocery store that
1:09:57had the kosher section decided that that
1:10:01was not a good use of square footage or
1:10:03something or they close their I don't
1:10:04remember what happened but but so there
1:10:06was all of a sudden now at diaspora of
1:10:09kosher foods virtual accidents every
1:10:14little grocery store an exodus of kosher
1:10:16food in the neighborhood had to start
1:10:18stocking some glatt a ground beef in
1:10:22order to accommodate this community of
1:10:23people who who cannot eat food that the
1:10:27rest of busy like they're they're like a
1:10:29really love their vegans accept it it
1:10:31was written in a book a long time ago
1:10:33foo and so I'm not nobody and nobody did
1:10:36the magic trick over them
1:10:37no one did there's no magic trick
1:10:39happened so I'm I'm standing I'm looking
1:10:41at the meat counter and I look over at
1:10:43the kosher food display there there's
1:10:47like a free of a refrigerator that has
1:10:49all the sort of the beef that's been
1:10:51bled in the correct way and that the and
1:10:54all the subculture food and
1:10:55right in front of it there's a cardboard
1:10:58one of those like six foot tall
1:11:00cardboards stands at 64 bits that says
1:11:06you know special this week pork loin
1:11:10wrapped in bacon with pork sauce and a
1:11:14airport garnish and it's like it's
1:11:17almost leaning against oh no it's really
1:11:21truly adjacent it's right there it is in
1:11:23front of as though your ears they're
1:11:26shopping for your for your culture but
1:11:29how do you miss that that's got to be an
1:11:30obvious that's got to be a deliberate
1:11:32fuck you i don't think i think it was
1:11:34just I think it's just one of those
1:11:35things certainly is there why is there
1:11:37no as as i know its name Adam Smith Adam
1:11:40Adam score wasn't writing hand way there
1:11:44no invisible Adam know make sure place
1:11:47no one in this grocery store there's one
1:11:49guy in this grocery store and he's
1:11:50probably the assistant manager who who
1:11:53has ever put any thought into like
1:11:56religion or culture at all you know like
1:11:59the big picture they got no big picture
1:12:01they got no big picture so I'm looking
1:12:02at this thing and I'm like this is the
1:12:05greatest synergistic moment this is if i
1:12:07was going to be on Instagram this would
1:12:10be my Instagram moment and I get my
1:12:12iphone out to take a picture and the
1:12:14iphone shits the bed and I like your
1:12:20fingers in the wrong area and I'm like
1:12:22you fucking thing you got them thing
1:12:25that I have now I have invested myself
1:12:27emotionally this is your shady iphone
1:12:29just the same shitty iphone you could
1:12:31just a little shitty iphone doesn't it
1:12:33doesn't work at one point it was a great
1:12:35iphone and then I was shady and change
1:12:37the software one time yeah i upgraded my
1:12:40software and then it became a crap
1:12:42iphone and then i upgraded it again and
1:12:44it became a shitty your iphone is super
1:12:46shitty so and it's a 3gs it should be it
1:12:49should be just as good at you know if
1:12:50there's nothing wrong with it except
1:12:52that Apple has planned Lee obsolescence
1:12:55to do it and it but that's like saying
1:12:59you've got a good pack mule it doesn't
1:13:00really account for how much stuff we're
1:13:02going to put onto the donkey this this I
1:13:04you used to have a good donkey but now
1:13:05there's too much shit on your dock
1:13:07you know what it should you know what I
1:13:08should use it for I should use it to
1:13:09level my refrigerator i think stick it
1:13:11under one corner of the fridge to take
1:13:12once it clicks it comes up but so I'm
1:13:15standing here and this is a situation
1:13:16where is brittle 10 years ago before
1:13:19there existed phones with cameras i
1:13:22would have stood at this at this moment
1:13:25this kosher display with the port side
1:13:28in front of it how would have stood
1:13:30there I would have appreciated it
1:13:32I would have gone man wow that's all
1:13:35there was to do it that night was to sit
1:13:37there and enjoy that ephemeral moment
1:13:39that's right and then I would have said
1:13:40what you're saying well or that was that
1:13:43was all that was available to me I would
1:13:44have gone huh look at that and maybe you
1:13:47know what I would have done maybe I
1:13:48would have walked over to the front and
1:13:50this is not this is actually true I
1:13:51would have walked over to the assistant
1:13:53manager at what I said hey um did you
1:13:55notice that you've got a pork
1:13:58advertisement in front of the kosher
1:13:59foods display like maybe you should
1:14:03think about that again like I would have
1:14:05had something would have happened where
1:14:07I would have I would have gone and talk
1:14:09to somebody about it or maybe I would
1:14:10have just grabbed the sign and moved it
1:14:13somewhere else on my own I would have
1:14:14taken that responsibility but now my
1:14:18first impulse is to take a fucking
1:14:21picture of it and put it on the internet
1:14:22he retorted and and i have been trained
1:14:27by the machine to say this is my reply
1:14:30to this about the machines have trained
1:14:33me to say haha tweet and then the
1:14:36fucking machine doesn't you become a
1:14:39machine for turning turning serendipity
1:14:41and anger
1:14:42they've trained you they've trained you
1:14:44to change the way you've retooled your
1:14:46factory and then then it's like then I'm
1:14:49like a duck that got caught in in a
1:14:52six-pack container of you know in some
1:14:55kind of six pack plastic and I'm added
1:14:57to water king I can't get my wing to
1:14:59work and I'm like what the what the fuck
1:15:03happened to me
1:15:03ok I I don't want to put this on the
1:15:06internet and make a joke out of it
1:15:07I don't wanna I don't know I don't you
1:15:11know and the thing is this the first up
1:15:13that is supposed to come into my mind is
1:15:15boy i need to go down and get a new
1:15:16phone
1:15:18I need to go spend five hundred dollars
1:15:19to get a new phone so that I don't miss
1:15:21these opportunities I just I just can't
1:15:23believe that this failure of technology
1:15:25it's not Camp stuff I can't believe that
1:15:26it's just fascinating me this failure of
1:15:28technology is what's what's caused your
1:15:30your Hebraic direct action to be to be
1:15:33thwarted to because in another time five
1:15:35years ago with a feature phone you
1:15:37would've jumped right in there right
1:15:39usually all you would have gotten all
1:15:40fucking menachem begin on that shit
1:15:41moved it out of there I would have
1:15:42gotten it out of there and we're going
1:15:44to talk to the manager and I would have
1:15:45given them a brief lecture on Judaism
1:15:48and on cultural sensitivity and then I
1:15:51want to got I would have gotten my rib
1:15:53steaks and my new york super fudge chunk
1:15:55and I would have gotten my car would
1:15:56have said I did it I did my my work for
1:15:59today but instead i'm standing there
1:16:01with this impotent phone one thing if
1:16:03you stealing money it with some plastic
1:16:05wrapped around my my neck so I can't use
1:16:08my wing and I'm thinking I need more
1:16:10expensive phone
1:16:11I'm so I don't miss these incredible
1:16:13apologies China even your even you even
1:16:15you are susceptible to this training
1:16:17it's astounding it happens it happens on
1:16:20a daily basis and none of us are
1:16:21conscious of how much we have been
1:16:23trained by us by a stupid world to just
1:16:26be like new to be 22 to be complicit
1:16:31hmm rather than two rather than to ever
1:16:35use our own brains is there anything
1:16:37that just blue sky is there anything
1:16:39that could happen in that bodega that
1:16:41you could have some influence over i'm
1:16:42not saying you have to go and buy it
1:16:43outright
1:16:44is there anything that could happen let
1:16:45it begin with you is there anything in
1:16:47your name be that you could do to make
1:16:49that bodega a place where you untrained
1:16:51people from this kind of cultural
1:16:52influence could you do something that
1:16:53made it more and more muscular cultural
1:16:56interface if you want to talk if you
1:16:58want to talk about it in terms of like
1:17:00what the what the capitalists what the
1:17:01GOP capitalist would say is I should go
1:17:03in there every day and said you have any
1:17:05half-and-half until the guy finally gets
1:17:07half and half for shit's you
1:17:08well he's not gonna shoot me or he might
1:17:10shoot me with his with his virtual video
1:17:14game is phone works for you
1:17:16yeah it's fun because you know what he
1:17:18got some he got some kind of android
1:17:19phone and it works fine but no I should
1:17:23i get the the capitalist model is that
1:17:27one enough people one half and half
1:17:29they'll get happened
1:17:30but it's been five years and as far as I
1:17:34know they don't have half and half the
1:17:35night as far as i know nothing has
1:17:36changed
1:17:37um so do i I mean is it enough
1:17:41doesn't matter enough to me that I get
1:17:44half and half two blocks away instead of
1:17:4515 blocks away
1:17:46they're not enough yeah but you know
1:17:48that I think sometimes sometimes a
1:17:51bodega is more than just a bodega
1:17:53because in this case you are in that
1:17:55you're in literature Harbinger it's a
1:17:57harbinger in the of the in the nexus of
1:18:00cultural diversity it seems to me that
1:18:02you are at a potentially retail
1:18:04inflection point for making for
1:18:06effecting a lot of change
1:18:07well in this in this particular
1:18:09neighborhood i am the diversity i am the
1:18:12only one who wants half and half at this
1:18:14grocery store apparently there's my
1:18:16parade
1:18:17haha it's hard it's so hard to be white