Roderick on the Line

Ep. 48: "Wherever Trail Needs to Be Built"


00:00:00   Roderick on the line is unabashedly [TS]

00:00:01   sponsored by a glue software a digital [TS]

00:00:03   workplace that helps you work better [TS]

00:00:05   with other people sign up for a free [TS]

00:00:07   30-day trial an igloo software.com / [TS]

00:00:10   find your duck [TS]

00:00:11   [Music] [TS]

00:00:16   photo know what is it just this isn't at [TS]

00:00:21   all [TS]

00:00:22   oh hello this is a test call while [TS]

00:00:25   you're calling me how did you get this [TS]

00:00:29   number [TS]

00:00:30   I like it how does my voice sound oh my [TS]

00:00:33   god it's never sounded so clear [TS]

00:00:36   really I feel like you are sitting here [TS]

00:00:38   on my lap which would be buried on ready [TS]

00:00:41   from my paddling Santa setting that I'm [TS]

00:00:43   in the altogether [TS]

00:00:44   I'll come on it's so sad if you were [TS]

00:00:47   sitting here right now huh it because it [TS]

00:00:49   would cause you to question all those [TS]

00:00:50   things that you think you've already [TS]

00:00:51   figured out with it [TS]

00:00:53   yeah like do I want to be on a naked [TS]

00:00:56   man's lap mmm I bet that's a question [TS]

00:00:58   you didn't think you were gonna have to [TS]

00:01:00   ask yourself today i woke up a ladder [TS]

00:01:02   know what 3-4 hours ago and have to be [TS]

00:01:04   honestly there are a lot of questions I [TS]

00:01:05   had [TS]

00:01:06   and as you do and first thing in the [TS]

00:01:08   morning yeah you know when I went in the [TS]

00:01:09   room with that chair i was super [TS]

00:01:11   cautious about it I i never got real [TS]

00:01:14   near the chair i use I i like to use a [TS]

00:01:17   an intermediary layer like a towel [TS]

00:01:22   around your gonna make me bring up our [TS]

00:01:24   heels again are you don't bring up our [TS]

00:01:26   he put paper towels and paper towels and [TS]

00:01:28   toilet paper on everything you know what [TS]

00:01:30   I'm i live in the northwest and i [TS]

00:01:32   conserve paper towels i use washable [TS]

00:01:35   towels between me and everything is [TS]

00:01:39   ending LOL you did you know you know how [TS]

00:01:42   much disease could be carried on those [TS]

00:01:44   but that but i would just be carrying it [TS]

00:01:47   right down to the Washington it's your [TS]

00:01:49   disease for one right party now as far [TS]

00:01:52   as i know this is starting to sound like [TS]

00:01:53   billy corgan lyrics [TS]

00:01:56   what do you think of that drummer who [TS]

00:02:02   cares yeah that's smashing pumpkins suit [TS]

00:02:05   cares man you know if you ever have [TS]

00:02:06   serious they were always so serious I i [TS]

00:02:09   had there was a guy when I was i I just [TS]

00:02:12   went down this list i was about to say [TS]

00:02:13   he was my mental list like in terminator [TS]

00:02:15   where say fuck you asshole [TS]

00:02:18   could this list i was about to say he [TS]

00:02:20   was my roommate and I was like oh [TS]

00:02:21   actually I didn't live in that house i [TS]

00:02:23   was just crashing on the couch and then [TS]

00:02:25   I realized he didn't live in that house [TS]

00:02:26   either he's just crashing on the couch [TS]

00:02:28   too [TS]

00:02:29   neither of us were we weren't actually [TS]

00:02:30   roommate but we lived in the same house [TS]

00:02:32   for a long it should be a stickler for [TS]

00:02:33   that the two guys co-host the two guys [TS]

00:02:36   that did live in the house i'm sure if [TS]

00:02:38   they were listening to this podcast [TS]

00:02:39   they'd be like god those two guys like [TS]

00:02:41   those guys but this guy David and I both [TS]

00:02:44   were crashing in this house for a time [TS]

00:02:46   and I was starting to play music you [TS]

00:02:48   know justjust then you know early [TS]

00:02:50   nineties and he was playing the smashing [TS]

00:02:54   pumpkins gifts at one point and I walked [TS]

00:02:57   in to him it wasn't his room plus [TS]

00:03:00   another guy's room and walked into the [TS]

00:03:02   room where he was and I was like this [TS]

00:03:05   music I don't know not that good and he [TS]

00:03:09   said eternity and very seriously he was [TS]

00:03:11   like never in your life will you ever [TS]

00:03:14   make a thing as wonderful as true as [TS]

00:03:19   smashing pumpkins gish em and I was like [TS]

00:03:22   well consider that a challenge [TS]

00:03:26   mmm is that something is that some here [TS]

00:03:28   to live with yeah I'm still not sure if [TS]

00:03:30   I have I still I'm still not sure if i [TS]

00:03:32   have if I've accomplished smashing [TS]

00:03:36   pumpkins gifts level of artistic [TS]

00:03:39   greatness like yeah I like that one part [TS]

00:03:42   of that one song goes out about a bomb [TS]

00:03:46   and the rest of the bend I like the bend [TS]

00:03:48   and then his voice is like oh what a [TS]

00:03:50   woman using his extraordinary he's a [TS]

00:03:53   classic is a classic example of it of a [TS]

00:03:55   nineties eighties and nineties singer [TS]

00:03:57   who made his career michael stipe is [TS]

00:04:00   another one who made his career having [TS]

00:04:02   unintelligible vocals mixed really low [TS]

00:04:04   who and then at a certain point he got [TS]

00:04:06   famous and people were telling him how [TS]

00:04:08   great he was and then he started going [TS]

00:04:10   into the studio in the same mix my [TS]

00:04:12   vocals up and oh yeah and also you know [TS]

00:04:15   rough time the the vocals come up next [TS]

00:04:17   shave their head to thank you [TS]

00:04:19   hello them so the locals come up ahead [TS]

00:04:22   get shaved and then all of a sudden the [TS]

00:04:24   fans are like wait a minute you're not [TS]

00:04:26   saying anything you're just reading the [TS]

00:04:27   ingredients off the back of a cereal box [TS]

00:04:29   or is this is meaningless like Michael [TS]

00:04:31   stripes lyrics were so enigmatic to me [TS]

00:04:34   through the eighties and then as soon as [TS]

00:04:36   he started a [TS]

00:04:37   as soon as you can hear them I was like [TS]

00:04:39   these are enigmatic these are these are [TS]

00:04:41   dumb ass and then billy corgan was never [TS]

00:04:44   any matter to me but but as soon as I [TS]

00:04:46   could hear it better I realized he's a [TS]

00:04:48   bad singer he and i think he boy right [TS]

00:04:52   yeah hate to speak ill of somebody from [TS]

00:04:53   Illinois but I i think i think he really [TS]

00:04:57   appeals to a certain type em I do idea [TS]

00:05:00   was well I don't know here's the thing [TS]

00:05:02   he loves food [TS]

00:05:04   LARPers haha do you remember that sure [TS]

00:05:08   this is zero he didn't he had a star [TS]

00:05:12   he became like Charlie Brown now I mean [TS]

00:05:13   in addition to being bald you can always [TS]

00:05:15   wear the same shirt and was always a [TS]

00:05:16   little bit sad you know and tall guy I [TS]

00:05:19   think oh you sure about that i think [TS]

00:05:21   that that's that lady the sad lady on [TS]

00:05:23   the base was tall I thought she was [TS]

00:05:26   small I don't know about the what about [TS]

00:05:27   the way to go to tweak what about the [TS]

00:05:29   little guy but he seemed pretty sad too [TS]

00:05:31   he has solo record i remember the little [TS]

00:05:32   guy yeah one of those guys died of [TS]

00:05:35   heroin no heroin [TS]

00:05:37   well somebody are you sure i think so i [TS]

00:05:40   have a ticket on the pretenders no no I [TS]

00:05:43   have somebody from every man died of [TS]

00:05:45   heroin but i'm pretty sure the summer I [TS]

00:05:46   somebody from this man died of heroin [TS]

00:05:48   whose that's nothing [TS]

00:05:50   the cloud know that heroin never funny [TS]

00:05:52   heroin is in the category of rape and [TS]

00:05:54   America rules anyway let's talk about [TS]

00:05:58   the William cat program from the early [TS]

00:05:59   eighties I'm sorry I even brought it up [TS]

00:06:01   but there's a great story of billy [TS]

00:06:03   corgan in the studio and he was [TS]

00:06:05   auditioning drummers after i guess maybe [TS]

00:06:07   as drummer died of heroin or maybe his [TS]

00:06:09   drummer kick down like this up but but [TS]

00:06:12   but anyway he was auditioning drummers [TS]

00:06:13   and he he was auditioning like famous [TS]

00:06:18   drummers and when they would sit there [TS]

00:06:22   that he would come into the room maybe [TS]

00:06:24   they're at their kit like ready to [TS]

00:06:25   rehearse are ready to audition and he [TS]

00:06:28   would refer to them as drummer [TS]

00:06:30   oh really drummer let's play that one [TS]

00:06:33   more time drummer let's can you do that [TS]

00:06:34   a little bit slower next like the way [TS]

00:06:36   you refer to your show for his driver i [TS]

00:06:38   believe so i think it's okay to refer to [TS]

00:06:41   someone who's not in the room with the [TS]

00:06:45   is the definite article it is not cool [TS]

00:06:48   to remove the definite [TS]

00:06:50   article when the person you're speaking [TS]

00:06:52   to the person [TS]

00:06:53   yeah I don't think that's that's not [TS]

00:06:54   appropriate somebody's painting your [TS]

00:06:56   house you don't go outside and say [TS]

00:06:57   painter I want you to i mean i don't [TS]

00:07:00   know i want a couple people that couple [TS]

00:07:02   people in Northwest bands who might do [TS]

00:07:05   that [TS]

00:07:05   water water my flight boards to speak in [TS]

00:07:10   35 minutes [TS]

00:07:11   just give me a light boarding we're [TS]

00:07:13   getting very close to call it the [TS]

00:07:14   territory now haha open but these are [TS]

00:07:20   the videos opener but he never referred [TS]

00:07:23   to me as opener but i think it was [TS]

00:07:24   because there was the heat it even [TS]

00:07:27   through all of his condescension to me [TS]

00:07:28   there was enough there was enough just [TS]

00:07:30   native fear and I was gonna eat his face [TS]

00:07:33   yeah some summer 1996 according to this [TS]

00:07:35   very old web page is the keyboardist [TS]

00:07:37   from the band smashing pumpkins you do [TS]

00:07:39   not have like foo fighters do not have a [TS]

00:07:41   definite article on their name [TS]

00:07:43   keyboardist keep talking about a para [TS]

00:07:45   one you know all the keyboard is almost [TS]

00:07:47   never a real member of the band after [TS]

00:07:49   about 19 gonna say after what was his [TS]

00:07:54   name jonathan cain i'm going to say [TS]

00:07:56   after journey there weren't that many [TS]

00:07:58   people unless it was the primary [TS]

00:08:00   interesting and is instrumentalist like [TS]

00:08:02   the great Billy Joel there are not that [TS]

00:08:04   many people i kid i kid i kid i'm comin [TS]

00:08:07   around comin around a little um yeah the [TS]

00:08:10   guy who played his keyboard literally [TS]

00:08:14   fastened to the outside of a warehouse [TS]

00:08:15   building in that famous video [TS]

00:08:18   dun dun dun and dun dun dun and I know [TS]

00:08:21   they're talking about with the shaking [TS]

00:08:22   your fist at the camera yeah the fish [TS]

00:08:24   acres boy that video was tough to watch [TS]

00:08:27   and had sleeveless shirts for of the [TS]

00:08:30   time you know Jonathan can you know [TS]

00:08:32   Jonathan Cain I think he's got the [TS]

00:08:33   writing credit a big writing credit on [TS]

00:08:35   open arms memory serves [TS]

00:08:36   oh well I think he's a great musician [TS]

00:08:38   yeah you know who you know who has a lot [TS]

00:08:41   of dead keyboard players is the Grateful [TS]

00:08:42   Dead is that right all that pic then [TS]

00:08:45   pick them right and then also some [TS]

00:08:47   peanuts character i'll mention in [TS]

00:08:48   passing [TS]

00:08:49   yeah he he did not make it all the way [TS]

00:08:51   and and then their keyboard player later [TS]

00:08:54   from the from the seventies and eighties [TS]

00:08:57   who also died of the heroin [TS]

00:09:01   then i speaking of REM didn't they [TS]

00:09:03   briefly have an undead keyboard player [TS]

00:09:04   brett midland was the keyboard player of [TS]

00:09:10   the the grateful dead and he died when I [TS]

00:09:12   was that he died right at the time there [TS]

00:09:15   was a brief moment in my life when I [TS]

00:09:16   socialized interacted with socially [TS]

00:09:19   deadheads really huh [TS]

00:09:23   and i'm going to say that this was the [TS]

00:09:24   summer of nineteen ninety the summer of [TS]

00:09:28   nineteen ninety when i was living in [TS]

00:09:29   Washington DC and I went through a brief [TS]

00:09:30   period where I when I was socializing [TS]

00:09:34   with grateful dead people because i was [TS]

00:09:36   working for ralph nader at the time in [TS]

00:09:39   Washington DC and I had a lot of his [TS]

00:09:43   volunteered [TS]

00:09:44   ok that anyway that right at that time [TS]

00:09:48   brent midland died of heroin and and he [TS]

00:09:52   was a mean and and I had understood [TS]

00:09:55   understood the grateful dead for many [TS]

00:09:57   years I i knew i knew a lot about them [TS]

00:10:00   but he was he was not a Kanaan goal for [TS]

00:10:03   me member of the band like he was he was [TS]

00:10:06   like o.o who like the guy the bearded [TS]

00:10:08   guy over make sure but he died and and [TS]

00:10:11   all these people like these girls that I [TS]

00:10:13   kind of was wondering about whether [TS]

00:10:15   maybe you know what maybe we could we [TS]

00:10:18   could have a thing maybe we would take a [TS]

00:10:19   long motorcycle ride or whatever and [TS]

00:10:21   they were all crying like crying real [TS]

00:10:23   tears of sorrow at the death of brent [TS]

00:10:26   Midland and and i realized that i could [TS]

00:10:30   never I could never be a full grateful [TS]

00:10:32   dead person because I didn't have this I [TS]

00:10:35   didn't my feelings are not that strong [TS]

00:10:36   about about the about newly keyboard [TS]

00:10:39   well I mean I never I mean that guy was [TS]

00:10:41   i as far as i can tell he never said a [TS]

00:10:43   word interviews he was just like cipher [TS]

00:10:47   i'm doing a little bit of last minute [TS]

00:10:49   research because I think I may have [TS]

00:10:50   found something a little bit troubling [TS]

00:10:51   there's a pretty good chance for [TS]

00:10:53   Republicans have to cut this out [TS]

00:10:55   it seems to me first of all the Grateful [TS]

00:10:57   Dead part of problems their songs have [TS]

00:10:59   never ended [TS]

00:11:00   they're all going on somewhere that's [TS]

00:11:01   probably separate topic it seems to me [TS]

00:11:03   the keyboard players are usually the one [TS]

00:11:05   who dies in the Grateful Dead they have [TS]

00:11:09   had at least this is an old joke like [TS]

00:11:11   drummers are dumb like this is it just [TS]

00:11:13   me or do keyboard players just fucking [TS]

00:11:14   die [TS]

00:11:15   I every keyboard player but the Grateful [TS]

00:11:17   Dead had a lot of keyboard players [TS]

00:11:18   including i might add Bruce Hornsby huh [TS]

00:11:22   but who is not dead as far as i know but [TS]

00:11:25   I you know I imagined having been a [TS]

00:11:28   keyboard player in a band that was the [TS]

00:11:29   keyboard player and harvey danger before [TS]

00:11:31   before my my big bases are either watch [TS]

00:11:33   your ass buddy [TS]

00:11:34   well but this is the thing you sit [TS]

00:11:36   behind the keyboard it's a thankless job [TS]

00:11:38   you can't you can't get up [TS]

00:11:40   there's nothing exciting about right i [TS]

00:11:41   mean the band is it even in the moment [TS]

00:11:43   even in the band's peak moment at the [TS]

00:11:46   top of the set where you're just like [TS]

00:11:47   flying and your you guys are just [TS]

00:11:49   playing the plan your absolute playing [TS]

00:11:52   your number-one hit you are sitting [TS]

00:11:54   behind a desk [TS]

00:11:55   mm there's no other way to look at it [TS]

00:11:56   and so all the attempts that the [TS]

00:11:59   keyboard player might make like standing [TS]

00:12:01   up or kicking over his chair or being [TS]

00:12:03   Billy Joel or fastening your keyboard to [TS]

00:12:05   the side of a warehousing none of those [TS]

00:12:07   things can take away that the the like [TS]

00:12:12   incontrovertible truth that you are a [TS]

00:12:15   man behind a desk [TS]

00:12:15   even if you even if you have if i may [TS]

00:12:17   say a quitar that's really more of the [TS]

00:12:19   other the desktop are it's a desktop [TS]

00:12:22   you're just a guy standing up at a desk [TS]

00:12:23   and I don't know if you if you saw the [TS]

00:12:25   you saw the queens of the stone age when [TS]

00:12:28   they had the female keyboard player who [TS]

00:12:30   had worked up a keyboard stand where the [TS]

00:12:33   keyboard was actually like teetering [TS]

00:12:35   forward sonic so you could see her licks [TS]

00:12:40   you can see her licks and she was [TS]

00:12:41   playing like like over the top of this [TS]

00:12:43   thing it was the weirdest looking [TS]

00:12:44   keyboard stand and she was a cute coffee [TS]

00:12:47   girl and they were hard rock band he [TS]

00:12:49   never saw this i think that was standing [TS]

00:12:51   at a desk i'll be damned and you know [TS]

00:12:53   the thing I think you're onto something [TS]

00:12:54   here I think there are now what about [TS]

00:12:56   what about drummers do you think do you [TS]

00:12:59   think drumming is a desk [TS]

00:13:00   oh interesting because here's why I'm [TS]

00:13:03   gonna give you some examples well first [TS]

00:13:04   of all let's cover the obvious ground [TS]

00:13:06   here it's a desk of cans [TS]

00:13:07   it's a desk cans hmm now i know now the [TS]

00:13:11   thing is there have been many people [TS]

00:13:13   have tried to address this problem [TS]

00:13:14   trying to remember some specifics here [TS]

00:13:15   now as you say this this queens of the [TS]

00:13:17   stone age lady had a how-to [TS]

00:13:19   forward-leaning one I feel like guess [TS]

00:13:21   I've seen key Tars I just I just don't [TS]

00:13:23   understand I mean that did that the [TS]

00:13:24   indignity of a quitar I mean that that's [TS]

00:13:26   like a tar and feathering when it comes [TS]

00:13:28   to being in a band [TS]

00:13:29   I mean how do you choose QC please hand [TS]

00:13:31   me the keytar I don't think I think if [TS]

00:13:33   it get on armour llamar big on the [TS]

00:13:35   keytar if you and I were younger [TS]

00:13:37   uh-huh if we were 23 years old and we [TS]

00:13:39   were both right now let's say I was [TS]

00:13:41   wearing white bar days and you were [TS]

00:13:43   wearing some sunglasses that you got for [TS]

00:13:45   free from a bank check and we were [TS]

00:13:49   starting a band that was a pastiche of a [TS]

00:13:52   tease disco-pop and nineties indie rock [TS]

00:13:57   and I don't know what the kids any a pop [TS]

00:13:59   hip-hop here's our band and one of and [TS]

00:14:02   there's there's one quitar and you and I [TS]

00:14:05   have to flip for who plays it [TS]

00:14:07   okay i think is it is it is it fixed [TS]

00:14:10   corners at the fair calling i think it's [TS]

00:14:12   a fair corn and I i think i think we [TS]

00:14:14   would be I think the person who didn't [TS]

00:14:16   get the keytar would be disappointed if [TS]

00:14:18   we were 2300 you're saying you're 20 [TS]

00:14:21   teaching 23 in period i think especially [TS]

00:14:24   let's be honest especially not home i [TS]

00:14:26   couldn't i do this thing that I know for [TS]

00:14:28   comments by this thing I called The [TS]

00:14:29   Wolverine cord because what you know [TS]

00:14:31   over he's got these three claws I can [TS]

00:14:32   play on actually talked about this is [TS]

00:14:33   your home should i can place nicht I can [TS]

00:14:36   play almost any cool i complete half [TS]

00:14:41   Bell no one should get angry but calm [TS]

00:14:46   and you know i showed you this changes i [TS]

00:14:49   can play almost any major minor or [TS]

00:14:51   suspended 4th chord as long as you can [TS]

00:14:53   see with my three hand fingers on my [TS]

00:14:55   right hand so any any suspended chord as [TS]

00:14:58   long as it's in see well I you know like [TS]

00:15:01   everyone as you know I prefer ad [TS]

00:15:03   suspended 4th but i would need to have I [TS]

00:15:06   think it's called I things which are the [TS]

00:15:08   cold calls concert tuning I have to [TS]

00:15:09   reconstitute down to dr drop DSA [TS]

00:15:12   Jonathan Jonathan Coulton [TS]

00:15:13   explain explain that to me and I still [TS]

00:15:15   don't really understand it [TS]

00:15:17   yeah and if you are a much better guitar [TS]

00:15:19   player than you let on [TS]

00:15:20   mm I think you've actually taught my god [TS]

00:15:22   that's such a nice thing to say John I [TS]

00:15:24   thought you that little country thing [TS]

00:15:27   right [TS]

00:15:27   yeah but watching you play the guitar it [TS]

00:15:29   you have the you have that quality that [TS]

00:15:31   a that I IC kind of very seldom or a [TS]

00:15:35   person with an artistic impulse picks up [TS]

00:15:37   an instrument teaches it to themselves [TS]

00:15:38   and they come up with something that no [TS]

00:15:42   one else would have thought of [TS]

00:15:43   Oh like eating like playing my DS [TS]

00:15:45   backwards because i learned from fake [TS]

00:15:46   books [TS]

00:15:47   yeah or or just kind of your approach to [TS]

00:15:49   the instrument it's like oh this is this [TS]

00:15:51   is interesting i'm watching this now and [TS]

00:15:53   I'm seeing something I haven't seen [TS]

00:15:54   anything it's a different approach to [TS]

00:15:55   you use memory serves you started on [TS]

00:15:57   tennis rackets playing along to except [TS]

00:15:59   British steel I by started on tennis [TS]

00:16:01   rackets and then I've told you this [TS]

00:16:02   story and I when I went to a punk rock [TS]

00:16:04   show and it was one of those shows in [TS]

00:16:06   anchorage in the early eighties where [TS]

00:16:09   there were five bands on the bill and [TS]

00:16:11   between all five bands that was one [TS]

00:16:14   person who had never seen an instrument [TS]

00:16:16   before or it could do anything with it [TS]

00:16:17   was just it was just a DIY it was at the [TS]

00:16:20   youth center and it was just a pure [TS]

00:16:22   racket about that one of the bands came [TS]

00:16:26   out on stage and the guitar player like [TS]

00:16:27   smashed his guitar all over the place [TS]

00:16:29   and I Iran up after the after their set [TS]

00:16:34   and grab the neck of his guitar and and [TS]

00:16:38   I honestly it was like it was like Eric [TS]

00:16:40   Clapton had given me his his prized [TS]

00:16:43   Black stratocaster that how much I [TS]

00:16:45   prized this broken neck from Ann Arbor [TS]

00:16:48   that was an arbor Explorer copy or [TS]

00:16:53   something like that like to this neck [TS]

00:16:54   home and I now I had a real guitar neck [TS]

00:16:57   and this is the first kind of guitar [TS]

00:16:58   anything I had a second Holocaust [TS]

00:17:00   keyboards doesn't make any sound you [TS]

00:17:02   practice on it but it doesn't make a [TS]

00:17:03   noise and I have here here it was this [TS]

00:17:06   this Mecca was a real neck and so I [TS]

00:17:09   tried for a while to like air guitar [TS]

00:17:11   just with the neck of the guitar but i [TS]

00:17:14   found it insufficient that's like [TS]

00:17:16   masturbating with just your balls hang [TS]

00:17:20   you know i could write that if I haven't [TS]

00:17:21   tried ready for a change in a minute [TS]

00:17:23   just anyway so I went out to the garage [TS]

00:17:25   at one point and I [TS]

00:17:27   found an old chess board and i took the [TS]

00:17:31   chessboard and I attached the guitar [TS]

00:17:33   next to like it thick wooden heavy chest [TS]

00:17:36   just bored right and I and I screwed i [TS]

00:17:38   took took this screwdriver and I screwed [TS]

00:17:40   this guitar neck into the chessboard [TS]

00:17:43   accept because you remember this is the [TS]

00:17:45   early eighties where checkerboard was a [TS]

00:17:48   very popular motif and I screwed the [TS]

00:17:51   neck of the guitar into this into this [TS]

00:17:54   checker chessboard but i put i put it [TS]

00:17:56   and I put it at a at an angle so that [TS]

00:17:59   the guitar was actually a diamond shape [TS]

00:18:02   haha man writes right and then I had a [TS]

00:18:06   home-made air guitar that was no I was [TS]

00:18:11   better than a tennis racket because no [TS]

00:18:12   one had one that looked like this and [TS]

00:18:15   and I air guitar too many many many a ZZ [TS]

00:18:19   top song with that thing before I [TS]

00:18:21   decided that it was time to learn how to [TS]

00:18:23   play the guitar [TS]

00:18:24   I you know what in its own really [TS]

00:18:28   twisted way I think that's kind of [TS]

00:18:29   healthy and interesting didn't do you [TS]

00:18:31   think I mean more so more so than if you [TS]

00:18:32   just stuck with a tennis racket [TS]

00:18:34   you know what I mean you would be doing [TS]

00:18:35   a pretty standard like John Hughes movie [TS]

00:18:38   way to learn guitar right in your case I [TS]

00:18:41   think you're going a little bit more [TS]

00:18:42   backwoods and I really respect that i [TS]

00:18:44   made my first instrument even though it [TS]

00:18:46   was not actually an instrument it was a [TS]

00:18:48   fake instrument but anyhow what Les Paul [TS]

00:18:50   started maybe less bass guitars didn't [TS]

00:18:51   make sound first interesting thought [TS]

00:18:54   let's get you gotta start somewhere [TS]

00:18:55   right right I like that idea well I mean [TS]

00:18:57   this guitar and heft it had a real next [TS]

00:19:00   something i could run my hands up and [TS]

00:19:01   down and feel the frets underneath it [TS]

00:19:03   and and that you know it felt very [TS]

00:19:06   individual let's see what my top air [TS]

00:19:09   guitar records were littered Skynyrd's [TS]

00:19:11   golden platinum that's a greatest hits [TS]

00:19:13   double album know [TS]

00:19:14   this was these are these are vinyl [TS]

00:19:16   records of course who uh let's see what [TS]

00:19:18   else did I your guitar a lot to Billy [TS]

00:19:21   Squires emotions emotions of course Van [TS]

00:19:26   Halen a women and children first palm an [TS]

00:19:30   great air guitar right that's the one [TS]

00:19:32   chain [TS]

00:19:34   yes oh my god and you know what I I'm [TS]

00:19:38   not afraid to say uh the Scorpions [TS]

00:19:40   worldwide live oh well why would you be [TS]

00:19:43   afraid to say that you know what I mean [TS]

00:19:44   that's a record that that's a record [TS]

00:19:45   that a lot of people don't listen to now [TS]

00:19:47   I said before the other night and her [TS]

00:19:48   can't live without you and I just kind [TS]

00:19:51   of naturally unconsciously I just [TS]

00:19:53   couldn't help but you started singing [TS]

00:19:54   along with the course you have to [TS]

00:19:55   because the scorpions are great and the [TS]

00:19:57   scorpions as you have said are the great [TS]

00:19:59   working men of the metal the great [TS]

00:20:01   working men of metal and and they're [TS]

00:20:04   Germans to boot the came to Alaska and [TS]

00:20:06   they gave what's that cloud not class- [TS]

00:20:08   uh not written shanker uh oh yeah [TS]

00:20:11   Mattias jobs he gave me the IDK yeah [TS]

00:20:13   that's right let's get this rocking his [TS]

00:20:16   corpse [TS]

00:20:16   I think you know what i did your this is [TS]

00:20:18   a lot of overlap here I was scared of [TS]

00:20:20   Judas Priest alright as you would be out [TS]

00:20:23   yeah yeah i mean like British steel that [TS]

00:20:25   was something like the bad kids and [TS]

00:20:26   denim jackets wrote on their folders if [TS]

00:20:27   they have folders London have folders [TS]

00:20:29   within trailer homes you know I met the [TS]

00:20:30   other day I met the guitar tech for Iron [TS]

00:20:32   Maiden [TS]

00:20:33   no way yeah I met about on the street in [TS]

00:20:35   Seattle during bumbershoot we think they [TS]

00:20:37   play the play at eight or nine that [TS]

00:20:40   probably pretty small though who knows [TS]

00:20:42   maybe there maybe they played 1307 these [TS]

00:20:46   guys have hands like oak trees i love [TS]

00:20:49   that steve harris Blacula second base [TS]

00:20:50   all day [TS]

00:20:51   he's amazing isn't it ok this guy this [TS]

00:20:54   is in the guitar tech was I have met a [TS]

00:20:56   lot of English a touring soundman guitar [TS]

00:21:00   tech that right people [TS]

00:21:01   yes I have and they all share a similar [TS]

00:21:04   character which is to say that they are [TS]

00:21:06   there like working very working-class [TS]

00:21:08   they're very no-nonsense and and that [TS]

00:21:13   they give off the picking off the air [TS]

00:21:15   that they're like tough guys like the [TS]

00:21:17   like the like fuck you kind of tough [TS]

00:21:20   tough tough dude stuff English guys who [TS]

00:21:22   but when you really you know get to meet [TS]

00:21:25   them you realize that their guitar tech [TS]

00:21:27   so that they could be very gentle with a [TS]

00:21:29   young girl [TS]

00:21:30   yeah they're functionally pussies who [TS]

00:21:32   but uh but they live in this like [TS]

00:21:35   rough-and-tumble world where they're [TS]

00:21:36   touring around they kind of bait they [TS]

00:21:38   adopt a manner of like interstate [TS]

00:21:40   truckers but in fact they're just tuning [TS]

00:21:42   guitars all day it's not like there no [TS]

00:21:44   knife but as you learned from i think [TS]

00:21:46   probably forty two percent of all ac/dc [TS]

00:21:49   songs it's very hard to be a touring [TS]

00:21:50   rock band [TS]

00:21:51   oh hello boy they got a lot of songs [TS]

00:21:54   about how hard it is to be in a [TS]

00:21:55   successful pant well because they were [TS]

00:21:57   getting new and more virulent strains of [TS]

00:22:00   herpes every night is that right yeah [TS]

00:22:02   that's why it was so hard being a CD [TS]

00:22:04   imagine how hard it would be to travel [TS]

00:22:06   with herpes [TS]

00:22:06   well or just like every night like oh my [TS]

00:22:09   herpes is killing me a menu planned what [TS]

00:22:11   happens if you get if you get if you get [TS]

00:22:13   a stress bump on your way [TS]

00:22:15   I think this is the color in Australia [TS]

00:22:17   you know what that does it opens you up [TS]

00:22:19   to another infection it's like you get a [TS]

00:22:21   wound you met a wound [TS]

00:22:22   all right now this is i I'm sorry to [TS]

00:22:24   take it here yeah but but the [TS]

00:22:26   conversation has naturally arrived here [TS]

00:22:29   ok this is not a thing that i am [TS]

00:22:30   introducing unnatural I didn't kiss [TS]

00:22:32   anybody bad but my understanding i just [TS]

00:22:35   learned this last night ok is that in [TS]

00:22:37   certain orthodox jewish communities the [TS]

00:22:41   the the rabbi who performs the [TS]

00:22:44   circumcision the amul actually performs [TS]

00:22:49   the last he uses a knife to cut the [TS]

00:22:51   foreskin he actually performs the last [TS]

00:22:53   portion of that ceremony with his mouth [TS]

00:22:57   and [TS]

00:23:02   this or you hm he jumped on you sure [TS]

00:23:06   this isn't one of those does make in [TS]

00:23:08   making babies in the mouth spread things [TS]

00:23:10   because this could cause us a lot of [TS]

00:23:11   trouble are you saying that this is this [TS]

00:23:13   is a protocol the elders of zion problem [TS]

00:23:16   no I heard this I bring you heard this [TS]

00:23:20   your business on the English ready for [TS]

00:23:22   this Lauren is the crazy problem in [TS]

00:23:25   God's with the year that you guys we put [TS]

00:23:29   his mouth right on round round the penis [TS]

00:23:32   I came to the next 90 min but in any [TS]

00:23:35   case the problem is that in New York [TS]

00:23:37   City seventy percent of all men have [TS]

00:23:39   herpes oh Jesus just a letter with the [TS]

00:23:43   fuck did you come up with that every [TS]

00:23:45   outlaw this practice or they're trying [TS]

00:23:47   to outlaw this practice because that is [TS]

00:23:49   a long walk through a discredited [TS]

00:23:51   university my grandma dies rabbis are [TS]

00:23:53   giving newborn babies herpes from the [TS]

00:23:55   mouse but i don't wanna try to make this [TS]

00:23:58   about Howard he's but this is the [TS]

00:24:00   problem with contagion contagion is [TS]

00:24:03   intelligence but this is the problem [TS]

00:24:04   with contagion it's also the problem of [TS]

00:24:06   hearing stuff from somebody and then [TS]

00:24:08   saying it on the interwebs huh [TS]

00:24:10   but you know what I'm going to have to [TS]

00:24:11   do I my first real clean my keyboard and [TS]

00:24:13   then I'm gonna do a lot of research and [TS]

00:24:15   probably cut almost all this out but [TS]

00:24:17   that's that's that's remarkably 677 out [TS]

00:24:20   of ten men in now is this in the in the [TS]

00:24:23   metropolitan new york area i'm going to [TS]

00:24:26   say that it's all of New York including [TS]

00:24:27   staten island all the borough's this [TS]

00:24:29   jonathan coulton know this is you know [TS]

00:24:31   this too well I don't know the people [TS]

00:24:33   that I travel a lot John if he does but [TS]

00:24:35   i but these are people in New York or [TS]

00:24:37   getting herpes in New York and they're [TS]

00:24:38   still getting herpes are people still [TS]

00:24:39   getting herpes John Kasich they are they [TS]

00:24:41   get it from the you know they read those [TS]

00:24:43   subways they're all close to each other [TS]

00:24:45   cocky you-know-what probably herpes is [TS]

00:24:47   probably going through there like like [TS]

00:24:49   like electricity through a Tesla coil [TS]

00:24:51   oh just from one end of the training [TS]

00:24:53   that I mean that's just--that's just [TS]

00:24:55   miserable now do you think that you have [TS]

00:24:56   any sense of the other ladies in the [TS]

00:24:58   metropolitan area give are they aware [TS]

00:25:00   they are they aware of this fact and B [TS]

00:25:02   are they taking precautions are they [TS]

00:25:03   staying off the subways in the Tesla [TS]

00:25:04   coils my senses that girls in New York [TS]

00:25:06   don't really make themselves available [TS]

00:25:08   for something mr. can women get her [TS]

00:25:10   pieces that dunno [TS]

00:25:11   I think okay legitimate her piece its [TS]

00:25:15   much it's much easier to get pregnant [TS]

00:25:17   ya nah if you're a woman than it is to [TS]

00:25:20   get her peace [TS]

00:25:21   okay um I would you know what seventeen [TS]

00:25:24   percent 70-percent John that is a lot of [TS]

00:25:27   percent that's even more than a [TS]

00:25:28   plurality it's alright that's a lot i am [TS]

00:25:31   that you would be that's enough to that [TS]

00:25:33   that's enough to overcome a filibuster [TS]

00:25:34   you know what W great new name for cold [TS]

00:25:37   sores and what would filibuster you can [TS]

00:25:42   see I got want to try to break this [TS]

00:25:43   filibuster I like that that it's [TS]

00:25:46   something [TS]

00:25:47   okay well moving on us so we've got [TS]

00:25:50   we've got you covered on the ground [TS]

00:25:53   already this entry I made a joke the [TS]

00:25:55   other day that that storming your [TS]

00:25:57   embassy was going to be my new my new [TS]

00:25:59   way of my new euphemism her having sex [TS]

00:26:02   with someone like you to break in and [TS]

00:26:06   then somebody on facebook was like give [TS]

00:26:10   me a lecture about the American heroes [TS]

00:26:11   dying overseas and now it wasn't funny [TS]

00:26:15   yeah well why don't you take this up [TS]

00:26:16   over on the pro and a forum [TS]

00:26:19   you're like a pro anna form that's a [TS]

00:26:21   rough ride haha oh god I wish I had a [TS]

00:26:24   cough button yeah off button my mind [TS]

00:26:27   where I'm going to say probably break [TS]

00:26:30   out by scorpions which I got to the [TS]

00:26:33   columbia music music organization i got [TS]

00:26:35   it let's see i would say definitely [TS]

00:26:37   blizzard of Oz blizzard of Oz what you [TS]

00:26:41   went to the Washington State Fair the [TS]

00:26:42   other day who and everywhere I went like [TS]

00:26:46   all the different all the different [TS]

00:26:48   f-fair things where you throw the the [TS]

00:26:50   darts at the balloons are you through [TS]

00:26:53   the hoops at the bottles or whatever [TS]

00:26:54   they were all playing different Ozzy [TS]

00:26:56   tracks to track people I guess I mean [TS]

00:27:00   they were playing Ozzy at the at the [TS]

00:27:01   state fair in 1980 and I'm just [TS]

00:27:05   wondering [TS]

00:27:05   it's been a long time since I've been to [TS]

00:27:07   a State Fair is Ozzy just like state [TS]

00:27:09   fair music you might be a wormhole you [TS]

00:27:12   might you might be in a Washington [TS]

00:27:13   wormhole you know I it is weird it is [TS]

00:27:15   weird that the these kinds of these [TS]

00:27:17   horrible horrible events just full of [TS]

00:27:19   terrible bad people have been around for [TS]

00:27:21   centuries right you get the 7000 right [TS]

00:27:24   come to town you got your maximum sit [TS]

00:27:25   out and you go around and play chess and [TS]

00:27:27   shit like that has been around forever [TS]

00:27:28   come into town and fucking shit up but [TS]

00:27:30   it is a funny thing that everything that [TS]

00:27:33   happens at one of these traveling fares [TS]

00:27:35   feels like it's happening somewhere [TS]

00:27:36   between making 72 in 1981 maybe I'm [TS]

00:27:39   right like carnies are stuck there [TS]

00:27:41   forever like what did they give away [TS]

00:27:43   before coke mirrors we covered this been [TS]

00:27:44   in a previous visit but it seems to me [TS]

00:27:46   that a lot of the prizes you've got [TS]

00:27:47   you've got stuffed animals that are [TS]

00:27:48   extremely hard [TS]

00:27:49   yeah we've ever felt stuffed animal from [TS]

00:27:51   a fair it's not the central question i [TS]

00:27:53   think i think it's tough with like [TS]

00:27:54   sawdust and you know like counterfeit [TS]

00:27:56   money or something [TS]

00:27:57   yeah well here are the things that have [TS]

00:27:59   drugs i bet a surprising number of them [TS]

00:28:01   have an amount of drugs in the people [TS]

00:28:03   forgot about it they have that I don't [TS]

00:28:04   think the drugs are inside but the dr [TS]

00:28:06   there's definitely drugs on the fur here [TS]

00:28:08   are the things that I saw for the first [TS]

00:28:10   time in a state fair [TS]

00:28:11   ok i saw a coke bottle that had been [TS]

00:28:13   heated up and X and pulled so that it [TS]

00:28:16   was like four feet tall [TS]

00:28:17   spooky remember that i still remember [TS]

00:28:19   that have a listen to how do they do [TS]

00:28:21   that [TS]

00:28:22   that's right and then I i saw the the [TS]

00:28:24   invisible dog where you have the have [TS]

00:28:28   the dog leash and then there's a harness [TS]

00:28:29   but it in but there's no dog in it you [TS]

00:28:32   know what I'm talking about idea perhaps [TS]

00:28:33   it's got the invisible doc invisible dog [TS]

00:28:35   I saw my first Coke mirror I saw my [TS]

00:28:37   first feathered ear rings / rotate [TS]

00:28:43   teehee roach clip roll clip earring that [TS]

00:28:46   these are before these are before you [TS]

00:28:48   could buy dreamcatchers on the open [TS]

00:28:49   market but there really is that they're [TS]

00:28:51   all that the Venn diagram is is really [TS]

00:28:54   exhausted i think when it comes to dream [TS]

00:28:56   catchers I think he moved straight from [TS]

00:28:58   feathered roach clip into a dreamcatcher [TS]

00:29:01   not just for once worked on I think [TS]

00:29:03   dream catchers don't work can you know [TS]

00:29:05   that for sure [TS]

00:29:06   well you ever seen the car and Western [TS]

00:29:07   countries are in that's true maybe [TS]

00:29:11   that's the bedroom catches supposed to [TS]

00:29:12   be writing worry dolls they're supposed [TS]

00:29:14   to be something where they let you catch [TS]

00:29:16   your dreams and let's all the bad [TS]

00:29:17   thoughts go through [TS]

00:29:18   oh i'm with you that when I would go to [TS]

00:29:20   those places even I always felt because [TS]

00:29:22   because I most words you used about [TS]

00:29:25   English pussies what you call them [TS]

00:29:26   I'm the roadies menifee I wasn't really [TS]

00:29:29   so many angry letters [TS]

00:29:30   yeah remember the quill pen given that [TS]

00:29:34   up now I would always feel a little bit [TS]

00:29:35   ministers is all kinds of the [TS]

00:29:36   you know we get obviously got a lot of [TS]

00:29:38   fried foods you get a lot of corn dogs [TS]

00:29:39   you get a lot of you know what I don't [TS]

00:29:42   ever saw have to get back to being a cop [TS]

00:29:45   button i remember on one occasion my [TS]

00:29:48   best friend John and I went to disney [TS]

00:29:50   world when i was about that have to be [TS]

00:29:52   about 13 or 14 and agents was entirely [TS]

00:29:54   inappropriate we had matching airbrushed [TS]

00:29:56   shirts with the cover of wolverine [TS]

00:29:58   number one on it and we don't say Merlyn [TS]

00:30:01   John remember Big they might have but [TS]

00:30:03   like on each other's BFF now we were too [TS]

00:30:07   we were to really awkward guys in [TS]

00:30:10   matching airbrushed t-shirts and we each [TS]

00:30:12   went to the magic shop and bought a [TS]

00:30:14   plastic faucet with a suction cup on it [TS]

00:30:16   and we'll alert word on foreheads for [TS]

00:30:18   the high i had that I never worked on my [TS]

00:30:20   forehead but I had it [TS]

00:30:22   John I know you're not a physiologist [TS]

00:30:24   but give a pretty good idea can you just [TS]

00:30:26   guess what happens when you wear a very [TS]

00:30:29   very powerful suction cup on your [TS]

00:30:30   forehead for nine hours you get a black [TS]

00:30:34   and blue giant a circle on your forehead [TS]

00:30:37   it's like a faucet a key like appointing [TS]

00:30:39   but I had suffered for seriously my hand [TS]

00:30:41   to God for really much really bad for [TS]

00:30:43   one day but for close to three days and [TS]

00:30:45   looks like somebody hit me on the head [TS]

00:30:46   with extreme precision and made a an [TS]

00:30:50   exact circle of purple on my head [TS]

00:30:52   Oh at that exact same age yeah i was [TS]

00:30:57   sitting in the lunch room at one point [TS]

00:30:58   and I had a I had a a cop a plastic cup [TS]

00:31:02   and I put it around my mouth and was [TS]

00:31:06   sucking all the air out of it to create [TS]

00:31:08   a vacuum at so that this cup was like [TS]

00:31:10   around mine around my nose and mouth I [TS]

00:31:12   guess right and i had i actually [TS]

00:31:15   appreciate you want to push it right [TS]

00:31:17   I wanted to push it push it all the way [TS]

00:31:18   and I had this black and blue circle [TS]

00:31:20   around my face it was the equivalent [TS]

00:31:23   really up love sticking your tongue to [TS]

00:31:26   up to a frozen pole that's such a duel [TS]

00:31:31   for 4 days after that I just had this [TS]

00:31:34   like there's nothing you can do you [TS]

00:31:36   can't stay home from school you know [TS]

00:31:37   it's not going to be any different you [TS]

00:31:39   know [TS]

00:31:39   remember the trick to get somebody [TS]

00:31:40   Hickey supposedly you can run a comb [TS]

00:31:42   over it every remember that trick [TS]

00:31:44   no I was a good i was a pretty big [TS]

00:31:46   Hickey giver I didn't realize I was [TS]

00:31:47   doing and I think I might have been been [TS]

00:31:49   possessed or something [TS]

00:31:50   I never gave a hickey and I wouldn't [TS]

00:31:51   allow somebody to give me a key in fact [TS]

00:31:53   to this day if somebody starts sucking [TS]

00:31:54   on my neck I'm okay [TS]

00:31:56   hey hey easy easy that because i was [TS]

00:31:59   that because of your perimeter because [TS]

00:32:01   your body is a temple what's the [TS]

00:32:02   thinking just don't enjoy it [TS]

00:32:04   alright so i was at a civil war Civil [TS]

00:32:06   Air Patrol encampment in about nineteen [TS]

00:32:10   eighty-one and this was a coed [TS]

00:32:13   encampment although there i have to say [TS]

00:32:15   there were not that many girls in the [TS]

00:32:17   Civil Air Patrol but there were some it [TS]

00:32:19   was that it was and it was a it was a [TS]

00:32:21   two-week-long encampment at Eielson Air [TS]

00:32:24   Force Base in Fairbanks Alaska and we [TS]

00:32:27   were occupied we were all staying in the [TS]

00:32:29   old build barracks that had been built [TS]

00:32:32   during world war two who and at one [TS]

00:32:35   point one of the guys got a hickey from [TS]

00:32:41   one of the girls and it was this [TS]

00:32:44   terrible purple welt and there was no [TS]

00:32:48   there was no disguising it because we're [TS]

00:32:51   in uniform you know where we're wearing [TS]

00:32:54   our dress blue uniforms you can't like [TS]

00:32:56   accessorize that with a scar me and I [TS]

00:32:58   like clean Elizabeth the first camp [TS]

00:33:00   no no we weren't we will get we weren't [TS]

00:33:03   in the in Elizabethan Air Force camp [TS]

00:33:06   Dickie camp and so he had to like stand [TS]

00:33:09   there at at at inspection in his blues [TS]

00:33:12   or what I guess inspection he was he [TS]

00:33:14   would have been in his fatigues but but [TS]

00:33:16   with this giant pulsating purple mess on [TS]

00:33:19   his neck and the UH the sergeant who of [TS]

00:33:24   course was also 13 years old [TS]

00:33:26   this is the inspecting they're expecting [TS]

00:33:29   off unconditioned officer [TS]

00:33:30   yeah the noncommissioned officer I mean [TS]

00:33:33   I was 11 and the guy with the he was [TS]

00:33:35   probably 13 let's say that lets say the [TS]

00:33:36   the sergeant was 15 just dressed him [TS]

00:33:39   down in front of everybody but [TS]

00:33:41   unprofessional and you know unmilitary [TS]

00:33:43   out of uniform all this type of thing [TS]

00:33:45   and it left a lasting impression on me [TS]

00:33:48   that if you got a hickey you would be [TS]

00:33:50   out of uniform there was no you you [TS]

00:33:53   could you could not be you could not be [TS]

00:33:55   in uniform with a hickey [TS]

00:33:56   ah one unusual angle it's like they [TS]

00:34:00   don't let you get neck tattoos in the [TS]

00:34:01   Navy because you're out of uniform [TS]

00:34:03   foo so that stuck with me until this day [TS]

00:34:07   and that is a distraction to spring [TS]

00:34:08   decor and that's exactly right and i [TS]

00:34:10   don't i don't like to be out of uniform [TS]

00:34:11   you know that about me no no you see it [TS]

00:34:13   seems to me that as eclectic as your [TS]

00:34:15   wardrobe is you you have an innate sense [TS]

00:34:18   of what the what the uniform of his [TS]

00:34:21   waist called military school uniform of [TS]

00:34:22   the day is precisely would announce that [TS]

00:34:25   everyday at our school is almost always [TS]

00:34:26   the same thing but you have to be ready [TS]

00:34:28   United put your blues on just yet so you [TS]

00:34:30   know when I wake up in the morning I [TS]

00:34:31   have the im a series of questions that I [TS]

00:34:34   ask right away as you do and but also I [TS]

00:34:38   I listen for the uniform of the day [TS]

00:34:39   announcement sometimes it says space [TS]

00:34:41   cowboy has your job gotten hotter than [TS]

00:34:46   fresh pumpkin chili tired of kissing the [TS]

00:34:48   wrong bird mired down by your managers [TS]

00:34:50   fear of even the slightest vision and [TS]

00:34:52   corporate discourse [TS]

00:34:53   well you're not alone a glue software [TS]

00:34:55   understands your pain a clue helps you [TS]

00:34:58   work better with other people by keeping [TS]

00:35:00   your team your files and your [TS]

00:35:01   conversations together in one digital [TS]

00:35:03   workplace [TS]

00:35:04   you can even work from home and you're [TS]

00:35:05   altogether sealed to your red leather [TS]

00:35:07   chair just steps away from all your [TS]

00:35:09   favorite globes candlesticks and cowboy [TS]

00:35:11   boots as you do so go to glue [TS]

00:35:13   software.com / find your duck and sign [TS]

00:35:16   up for your free 30-day trial bring your [TS]

00:35:18   team in from the cold by getting inside [TS]

00:35:20   the igloo in any case that sometimes it [TS]

00:35:24   says and you say you say yes sir i can [TS]

00:35:26   do that [TS]

00:35:27   yes sir sometimes it says preppy asshole [TS]

00:35:29   sometimes it says like you know coke [TS]

00:35:31   fiend [TS]

00:35:33   I never I never did much of anything on [TS]

00:35:35   a team and when I did things on a team I [TS]

00:35:36   didn't do it well but there are certain [TS]

00:35:38   things I picked up in military school [TS]

00:35:39   including the cold sore that I I'm [TS]

00:35:42   really glad I kept with me and I think [TS]

00:35:44   that I think about a lot and when [TS]

00:35:46   somebody says about face you know how to [TS]

00:35:47   about film and I can still do it always [TS]

00:35:49   talked about doing the rifle trails last [TS]

00:35:50   house on drill team so I mean I was I [TS]

00:35:52   was pretty good i was pretty good but uh [TS]

00:35:54   you know what I always liked have to [TS]

00:35:55   tell you I don't know this could find [TS]

00:35:57   any place in in your life but you know [TS]

00:35:58   you have the most of the time you're in [TS]

00:36:02   a pseudo official environment like [TS]

00:36:04   you're in uniform right and you know [TS]

00:36:07   there's no casualties the Great's [TS]

00:36:09   there's no no skylarking you know no [TS]

00:36:12   smoking this because all the rules that [TS]

00:36:13   are going to pass it and in being a [TS]

00:36:15   pseudo know [TS]

00:36:16   paramilitary teenager right but then [TS]

00:36:18   you're in like the official capacity [TS]

00:36:20   when you're not at ease right and if you [TS]

00:36:22   have a situation like turn your hat on [TS]

00:36:24   backwards shit now [TS]

00:36:25   oh my god no oh geez Louise your belt [TS]

00:36:28   buckle better be polishing your shoes [TS]

00:36:29   and don't use mop & Glo that's chishti [TS]

00:36:31   your don't get your I had better be [TS]

00:36:33   straight if you know what I'm saying if [TS]

00:36:34   you're if you're really in a hurry you [TS]

00:36:36   can use mop & Glo but it's gonna be [TS]

00:36:37   pretty obvious and you might get it to [TS]

00:36:38   merit that allows your pants mmm I don't [TS]

00:36:42   know what that means then I guess I want [TS]

00:36:44   to know what is what is busting your [TS]

00:36:45   pants allowing your pants is a thing [TS]

00:36:47   that we used to do him any military [TS]

00:36:50   which they don't do anymore which is [TS]

00:36:52   that your the bottoms the bottom hem of [TS]

00:36:54   your pants is like tucked into the top [TS]

00:36:57   of your boots I such a cool look and [TS]

00:36:59   then bloused out so that it's it's like [TS]

00:37:01   your boots are tight on your ankles and [TS]

00:37:03   their little tactical for what we were [TS]

00:37:04   doing but that said I would love that [TS]

00:37:06   look it's super cool it's a little bit [TS]

00:37:08   you know it's not something a little bit [TS]

00:37:10   yeah a little bit 1943 but like pretty [TS]

00:37:12   cool that was so our our fatigue uniform [TS]

00:37:16   even for PT at blast pans we weren't [TS]

00:37:21   kidding around in this in the Alaska [TS]

00:37:23   civil air patrol you don't have [TS]

00:37:24   something a little less formal that was [TS]

00:37:25   still uniform in those situations where [TS]

00:37:28   we have addressed by a dress blues [TS]

00:37:30   yeah we just lose one of my favorites [TS]

00:37:32   with salt and pepper which is when you [TS]

00:37:34   have a white shirt with epaulets with [TS]

00:37:35   the rank on it and black pants that was [TS]

00:37:37   a sharp look sharp we had for what they [TS]

00:37:40   called it that our everyday was cautious [TS]

00:37:43   this is coming back to me just a little [TS]

00:37:44   bit with khaki pants and a short sleeve [TS]

00:37:46   shirt trucks leave khaki shirt around [TS]

00:37:48   and then sometimes there's a term they [TS]

00:37:51   used like with lids or something and [TS]

00:37:53   there's some term for when you have to [TS]

00:37:55   wear your hat which kind of sucked and [TS]

00:37:57   then we had we had like turning over [TS]

00:37:59   there was a slightly more informal one [TS]

00:38:00   that was a little bit little bit even [TS]

00:38:01   guerre which I think was like a white [TS]

00:38:03   t-shirt with khakis it was a little bit [TS]

00:38:05   like you know tom's of Maine is that the [TS]

00:38:07   one times of feeling the feeling better [TS]

00:38:09   and that's where your want to taste the [TS]

00:38:10   other pics at tom's of maine was [TS]

00:38:12   toothpaste and Tom's finland makes a [TS]

00:38:13   sexy drawings [TS]

00:38:15   yeah and even our gym uniforms were [TS]

00:38:16   where we were highly no prescribed it [TS]

00:38:18   you ask for swabbing the deck right the [TS]

00:38:20   khakis with like you mean this is the [TS]

00:38:21   thing and I this is getting to this [TS]

00:38:23   deeper point which is that when we know [TS]

00:38:24   when we were just that you dress out for [TS]

00:38:26   for whatever it was whatever the name of [TS]

00:38:28   uniform was this [TS]

00:38:28   is 30 some years ago but you know you [TS]

00:38:31   wear these the admiral farragut academy [TS]

00:38:32   shorts and then you either wear the [TS]

00:38:35   white admiral farragut academy shirt or [TS]

00:38:37   more often you would wear the shirt for [TS]

00:38:39   your company and of course i was in 4th [TS]

00:38:40   company and had a purple shirt so it was [TS]

00:38:42   let me everybody showed up and you [TS]

00:38:44   didn't show up in a different shirt just [TS]

00:38:45   didn't do that you know and you [TS]

00:38:46   certainly don't show up with a hickey [TS]

00:38:48   well I got thrown out for for that kind [TS]

00:38:50   of stuff oh you get through yeah we [TS]

00:38:51   should've been thrown out of this [TS]

00:38:52   encampment Eielson Air Force Base but [TS]

00:38:54   they stuck around we secretly or and [TS]

00:38:56   secretly disappointed that I didn't get [TS]

00:38:58   a didn't get a blanket party didn't get [TS]

00:39:01   a absolutely right because you know Red [TS]

00:39:03   Code Red [TS]

00:39:04   yeah i mean a and in fact that was where [TS]

00:39:06   I learned how to short-sheet beds and I [TS]

00:39:09   think but this guy is frustrating for a [TS]

00:39:10   minute [TS]

00:39:11   it really is haha and i try to apply it [TS]

00:39:14   all the time but nobody makes them [TS]

00:39:15   better i'll never forget one day [TS]

00:39:16   Christian camp III got the skunk I was [TS]

00:39:19   so you ever have that your skunk [TS]

00:39:22   what's this company so humiliating at at [TS]

00:39:24   the breakfast they do all the [TS]

00:39:26   announcements and they announced like [TS]

00:39:27   his capitals this worse but I had the [TS]

00:39:29   worst bed in the whole campus the skunk [TS]

00:39:31   I'd never been so humiliated that gives [TS]

00:39:33   you by a man in my life it was awful i [TS]

00:39:36   learned Hospital corners I could bounce [TS]

00:39:38   a quarter off Thank You Man III could [TS]

00:39:40   the bed that I made when I was finally [TS]

00:39:42   in actual military school and moved on [TS]

00:39:44   from Christianity paramilitary gear i [TS]

00:39:46   made the fuck out of bed i have you [TS]

00:39:47   really got 1910 everyday mean Brian find [TS]

00:39:50   that I bet you could make a hell of a [TS]

00:39:51   bed i make a how about if I want to I [TS]

00:39:53   can talk that shit in quarters bounce [TS]

00:39:55   buddy about to pound off that shit my [TS]

00:39:57   most embarrassing moment was when i when [TS]

00:39:59   i was playing rugby for Gonzaga [TS]

00:40:02   University and I decided you were there [TS]

00:40:06   we were there for like two months how [TS]

00:40:08   long is it gonna take for two years [TS]

00:40:10   before you got for us to leave when I [TS]

00:40:12   was escorted off the campus mr. Roderick [TS]

00:40:15   is robbery that is series of meetings [TS]

00:40:17   and we just can't make this work [TS]

00:40:19   that's where i was escorted off the [TS]

00:40:20   campus for the last time i should i [TS]

00:40:23   should clarify because i was discord [TS]

00:40:24   about the caps a few times [TS]

00:40:26   but I was on the rugby team and I felt [TS]

00:40:28   somehow you know rugby shirts are very [TS]

00:40:30   expensive particularly the the realest [TS]

00:40:32   with the rubber buttons [TS]

00:40:33   yeah the pro ones are are are not cheap [TS]

00:40:35   and I had come to college with my own [TS]

00:40:38   selection of rugby shirts because it was [TS]

00:40:41   the eighties and rugby shirts were what [TS]

00:40:43   guys like me war and I Gonzaga scullers [TS]

00:40:48   were navy blue and white and i have high [TS]

00:40:52   had a I had a sky blue and pale yellow [TS]

00:40:57   rugby shirt [TS]

00:40:58   Oh John and I thought that's like being [TS]

00:41:01   off a quarter town [TS]

00:41:02   exactly just that that's like you're you [TS]

00:41:04   know it is thats ug g g string being [TS]

00:41:07   just a little bit flat that's what [TS]

00:41:09   that's exactly what it was and I showed [TS]

00:41:10   up I was wearing this thing up and you [TS]

00:41:14   know the older guys I was a freshman of [TS]

00:41:16   course the only guys did not approve but [TS]

00:41:19   I you know I was a big kid or whatever [TS]

00:41:22   and everybody just kinda looked askance [TS]

00:41:24   at it but but to my eternal shame i [TS]

00:41:27   showed up for our our group picture [TS]

00:41:31   wearing on this shirt and so here's this [TS]

00:41:35   that there's a picture still hanging in [TS]

00:41:37   the hallway of the main the main [TS]

00:41:41   building at Gonzaga University the best [TS]

00:41:43   the hall of fame or whatever there's a [TS]

00:41:45   picture of that 1987 Gonzaga rugby squad [TS]

00:41:49   and me in a in an off-color like light [TS]

00:41:54   yellow of all look of all the things if [TS]

00:41:57   it had been light blue a child wouldn't [TS]

00:41:59   that have been yearbook day and each of [TS]

00:42:01   you had had a separate photo in uniform [TS]

00:42:03   that would be merely horribly [TS]

00:42:04   embarrassing but you know he did you [TS]

00:42:05   fucked it up a for the rest of the team [TS]

00:42:08   and be for posterity now an old guy who [TS]

00:42:11   gave a gave a few thousand dollars in [TS]

00:42:12   school he walked down that hall and he [TS]

00:42:14   goes who the fuck was this guy in 1986 [TS]

00:42:16   exactly that's exactly what our ability [TS]

00:42:19   Corgan move I'll be dead a hundred years [TS]

00:42:21   and somebody walking through Gonzaga [TS]

00:42:23   University looking at the dusty [TS]

00:42:24   photographs and I'll go look at this [TS]

00:42:26   jackass [TS]

00:42:27   I think they should find the technology [TS]

00:42:28   to fix that with all due respect to you [TS]

00:42:30   you know what it's a it is it is an [TS]

00:42:32   accurate record of the moment it is an [TS]

00:42:34   accurate record of the time I was a [TS]

00:42:35   jackass and I just yeah and Trotsky was [TS]

00:42:37   never in any photos [TS]

00:42:39   I think a big part of super train should [TS]

00:42:42   be making things right I'm gonna [TS]

00:42:44   experience your triangle actively well [TS]

00:42:46   I'm just saying what retro actively this [TS]

00:42:48   is the beauty part i mean you know or [TS]

00:42:50   what was not riding in a vacuum the [TS]

00:42:51   beauty part about Stalin is that is that [TS]

00:42:54   he was so so able capable and willing to [TS]

00:42:57   change things over and over and over we [TS]

00:42:59   look need look no further than our [TS]

00:43:00   friend mouth he was always changing his [TS]

00:43:01   mind and then he changes mind everybody [TS]

00:43:03   changes their mind is like the captain [TS]

00:43:05   Wally when we accept late makes it [TS]

00:43:06   become breakfast time again same deal [TS]

00:43:08   while solid wood paint a guy out of the [TS]

00:43:10   picture and then three years later he'd [TS]

00:43:12   paint another guy on the picture and [TS]

00:43:14   pretty soon he painted all the guys out [TS]

00:43:15   of the picture and somebody had to draw [TS]

00:43:16   like a right like a horizon line and he [TS]

00:43:18   puts in like totoro or goofy or whoever [TS]

00:43:21   this is my tattoos happy little trees [TS]

00:43:24   isn't the problem [TS]

00:43:25   tattoos you know you got you got to live [TS]

00:43:27   with that forever you put Trotsky on [TS]

00:43:29   your ass and that's gonna be so you're [TS]

00:43:30   gonna be sitting on Leon like for the [TS]

00:43:31   rescue you know I'm saying I feel like [TS]

00:43:33   when we start talking about tattoos you [TS]

00:43:35   and I yeah you're alienating a great [TS]

00:43:37   number of our listeners who are right [TS]

00:43:39   now looking at their tattoos and feeling [TS]

00:43:41   very proud about the choices that they [TS]

00:43:42   make good for them [TS]

00:43:44   yeah and then I don't want to make the [TS]

00:43:45   particularly if they've got like my [TS]

00:43:47   little pony tattoo what they have a [TS]

00:43:49   tattoo of themselves dressed as a civil [TS]

00:43:52   war reenactor you know what else we're [TS]

00:43:53   doing but somebody who is about two days [TS]

00:43:56   away from getting a tattoo is gonna [TS]

00:43:58   think twice about it and that's what [TS]

00:43:59   we're saying interesting because if you [TS]

00:44:02   have I can make you feel bad about your [TS]

00:44:03   tattoo [TS]

00:44:04   I'm just saying that's why it should be [TS]

00:44:07   a t-shirt you wear that t-shirt for one [TS]

00:44:08   year you don't even take it off whatever [TS]

00:44:10   it is you want to put a bird on it put a [TS]

00:44:11   bird on t-shirt you wear it everyday i [TS]

00:44:13   got a wedding coming [TS]

00:44:13   no fuck you for your bird shirt we go [TS]

00:44:16   after year maybe get a tattoo you want [TS]

00:44:18   to change your friend who was a [TS]

00:44:21   redheaded girl [TS]

00:44:21   yeah this is the mulatto Irish uh yeah [TS]

00:44:25   yeah and after high school [TS]

00:44:27   this was the very dawn of people who [TS]

00:44:30   were not like active sailors getting [TS]

00:44:34   tattoos turn 1986 like it was not a [TS]

00:44:38   thing yet that's still pretty young [TS]

00:44:39   really early in me in the like I'm not [TS]

00:44:43   I'm not I'm not actually I don't even [TS]

00:44:46   think research books were widely read at [TS]

00:44:48   that point I'm not carving scrimshaw [TS]

00:44:51   I have a normal person I'm gonna get a [TS]

00:44:53   tattoo and she got a tattoo of a little [TS]

00:44:56   red-haired which riding a broom and she [TS]

00:45:00   got it in her bikini area and she was so [TS]

00:45:04   proud of this thing was a flying away [TS]

00:45:06   from her toward it was flying above it [TS]

00:45:10   was it was next to it and flying as [TS]

00:45:13   though to go over I'll cacao it was [TS]

00:45:16   gonna say was there was the with the [TS]

00:45:17   jumped over the bush foo and the little [TS]

00:45:21   red-haired which was I guess it was her [TS]

00:45:24   spirit animal she actually was a witch [TS]

00:45:26   and I don't mean a spell casting with [TS]

00:45:28   like a Lincoln know she was a witch like [TS]

00:45:30   a terrible girl ever and she got this [TS]

00:45:36   tattoo and she was so private shoes like [TS]

00:45:38   you know there it is for all the world [TS]

00:45:41   to see and I was like it's not for all [TS]

00:45:43   the world to see it's just for people [TS]

00:45:45   who get your panties off the sea and [TS]

00:45:47   presumably by the time someone has your [TS]

00:45:49   panties off they already know we'll put [TS]

00:45:52   a little which you are that's like socks [TS]

00:45:54   for Christmas Jones you know you see the [TS]

00:45:56   DC the box you open up minutes it's a [TS]

00:45:58   parable toes he goes shit i thought that [TS]

00:46:01   this is going to be star wars Jamie's [TS]

00:46:02   you know i'm saying i got a box with a [TS]

00:46:05   person goldtoes it right now be pretty [TS]

00:46:06   glad actually well you know I told this [TS]

00:46:09   house able to give Hodgman fresh pair of [TS]

00:46:10   socks i just i just got 16 paragould two [TS]

00:46:12   socks I never look back never look [TS]

00:46:13   that's nice you know that massive thing [TS]

00:46:15   that's the thing if you're if you are [TS]

00:46:17   able to give a friend a fresh pair of [TS]

00:46:18   socks and say you know what keep them [TS]

00:46:21   presence of mind bringing an extra socks [TS]

00:46:23   you're never going to not need more [TS]

00:46:24   socks [TS]

00:46:25   that's so nice yeah [TS]

00:46:27   Richard Richard Manuel from from the [TS]

00:46:32   band dad dead suicide of Florida yeah [TS]

00:46:35   the keyboard player from springs [TS]

00:46:38   keyboard player dead [TS]

00:46:39   that's right he did die yeah I'm just [TS]

00:46:41   I'm just saying if all the people in [TS]

00:46:42   bands it appears to be the keyboard [TS]

00:46:43   player to want to make a big deal about [TS]

00:46:45   it [TS]

00:46:45   I don't be sitting behind a desk and [TS]

00:46:47   there's no there's really nothing to do [TS]

00:46:48   but for do heroin because there's a lot [TS]

00:46:51   of times we just vamping your vamping [TS]

00:46:54   your plants will give you you know [TS]

00:46:55   presumably by the time the year the [TS]

00:46:57   keyboard player in a very successful [TS]

00:46:58   band before you're probably a great [TS]

00:47:00   pianist you could be sitting in the you [TS]

00:47:03   could be sitting at a grand piano at one [TS]

00:47:06   of the elevator lobbies of nordstrom [TS]

00:47:08   somewhere playing mantovani or whatever [TS]

00:47:11   it is they play at North services and [TS]

00:47:15   you're having dinner this weekend with a [TS]

00:47:17   nuestras this is and and yet you're back [TS]

00:47:20   there going dot dot dot dot done Anna [TS]

00:47:24   and maybe twice in the set one day [TS]

00:47:27   look we'll find you prices that the [TS]

00:47:29   singer turns around points of view and [TS]

00:47:30   you get to go but who you taking to [TS]

00:47:34   change the envelope and the filter who [TS]

00:47:36   we want or if your heart or the steve [TS]

00:47:41   miller band you get to like the mood for [TS]

00:47:43   a second ago 0 we get to turn up your [TS]

00:47:46   harp chord on the quiet part before the [TS]

00:47:48   last chorus but then the rest of the [TS]

00:47:50   time you're just sitting back there and [TS]

00:47:51   it's like I could do crossword puzzles [TS]

00:47:52   or I could do some help you think about [TS]

00:47:54   think about how much of it is you know [TS]

00:47:56   five things like triggering and [TS]

00:47:58   sequencers you know nowadays not saying [TS]

00:48:00   there's no role for these folks in it [TS]

00:48:01   but it's not like Howard Jones out there [TS]

00:48:03   you know with a little fucking [TS]

00:48:04   one-man-band simple between your knees [TS]

00:48:06   that set up a time that I don't know how [TS]

00:48:11   Jones man that hair anyway so um you [TS]

00:48:14   know he had yet here to call your you [TS]

00:48:17   know I'm his version of level terrorists [TS]

00:48:19   for apart so far little Terrace apart [TS]

00:48:22   because the version i heard before her [TS]

00:48:24   joy division's version isn't it odd how [TS]

00:48:25   you can do that take out [TS]

00:48:27   yeah i got a lot of things wrap up this [TS]

00:48:29   Canyon that doesn't happen anymore [TS]

00:48:30   course because people now have access to [TS]

00:48:33   all music from all-time instantly [TS]

00:48:35   yeah it's easier than ever to be over [TS]

00:48:37   something you know you can't be [TS]

00:48:39   move or something if you went down to [TS]

00:48:41   the opportunity and spent five dollars [TS]

00:48:42   in sixty-nine cents on it you're gonna [TS]

00:48:44   fucking listen to cheap Trick's [TS]

00:48:45   one-on-one to you love it period [TS]

00:48:47   we don't have to go over this again i [TS]

00:48:48   know i know but the thing is I'm there's [TS]

00:48:51   one thing i like that in military school [TS]

00:48:52   I didn't like it at the time but I'm [TS]

00:48:54   starting to understand the appeal if you [TS]

00:48:56   are in that official a kind of an [TS]

00:48:58   official formation if something happens [TS]

00:48:59   with showers [TS]

00:49:00   mmm nu nu oh gosh no oh boy group [TS]

00:49:05   showers it isn't having learned enough [TS]

00:49:07   from history John the charts don't go in [TS]

00:49:09   a room where they say everybody takes a [TS]

00:49:11   shower [TS]

00:49:11   can we just all agree that's a bad idea [TS]

00:49:12   you know and they're in mind in my [TS]

00:49:14   junior high my junior hide the coach [TS]

00:49:17   stood at the door where the shower [TS]

00:49:21   god that's wholesome with but with a [TS]

00:49:25   clipboard and he check your name off if [TS]

00:49:29   you if he saw you take a shower and if [TS]

00:49:33   you didn't [TS]

00:49:34   if he if you did not like go past him [TS]

00:49:36   standing at the door [TS]

00:49:39   take your towel off and take a shower [TS]

00:49:40   and so he could see that you had whetted [TS]

00:49:42   yourself from top to bottom if you [TS]

00:49:45   didn't do that it was impossible to get [TS]

00:49:46   me in gym so oo so hang on a minute [TS]

00:49:51   because you're saying something very [TS]

00:49:53   important here which is it's one thing [TS]

00:49:54   to say that you're going to get a like a [TS]

00:49:59   point off of your weekly whatever with [TS]

00:50:02   that but you're saying something quite [TS]

00:50:02   different [TS]

00:50:03   you're saying the biggest faggots in the [TS]

00:50:04   class which is the people who want [TS]

00:50:05   straight a's like me right [TS]

00:50:08   he's going to withhold your a right that [TS]

00:50:10   would give you the straight A's [TS]

00:50:12   that's right so you Poindexter better [TS]

00:50:15   get in there and get that little Angus [TS]

00:50:16   ears wet [TS]

00:50:17   that's right on that's John that is dark [TS]

00:50:20   as hell it was very it was super [TS]

00:50:21   psychological all of those do you think [TS]

00:50:23   he kept all those records [TS]

00:50:25   mm I don't know much about filing [TS]

00:50:28   cabinet somewhere at the basement of [TS]

00:50:30   wendler junior high school in Anchorage [TS]

00:50:32   that still has his handwritten notes of [TS]

00:50:34   whose daily Degas he saw i bet you mr. [TS]

00:50:38   fenell still has a lot of these broken [TS]

00:50:39   stars to god bless them but that you [TS]

00:50:42   know so that there's the there the kids [TS]

00:50:43   in seventh grade who have who are [TS]

00:50:45   already men [TS]

00:50:46   I'll it's the worst and then there are [TS]

00:50:48   the little skinny kids that have not [TS]

00:50:49   that are another still very much [TS]

00:50:51   always [TS]

00:50:52   right and and he standing there at the [TS]

00:50:54   doorway just like and he actually had a [TS]

00:50:58   little chance that he said he said he [TS]

00:51:01   said shower down begin a that's the [TS]

00:51:06   first chance I and her dad get a penny [TS]

00:51:10   and we're coming in for coming from the [TS]

00:51:12   playing fields whatever he's standing at [TS]

00:51:13   the door shower down to get an end it [TS]

00:51:14   doesn't even rhyme shower down to get a [TS]

00:51:16   it's it over and over starting to get an [TS]

00:51:20   a I I can't currently pull to mind a [TS]

00:51:22   better one but I mean that that's a [TS]

00:51:23   really miserable chant shower down to [TS]

00:51:26   get a shout-out to get in a that's [TS]

00:51:28   miserable [TS]

00:51:29   oh it was the turn of showers the [TS]

00:51:30   showers now here's what I like if you [TS]

00:51:32   were in this official this is not even [TS]

00:51:33   if you don't know I'm pursuing this but [TS]

00:51:36   if somebody came up to you an official [TS]

00:51:37   capacity if you were and let's say you [TS]

00:51:38   were in formation and you're standing at [TS]

00:51:40   attention during something like and you [TS]

00:51:42   know inspection and somebody is from [TS]

00:51:44   yeah yeah you should you know about this [TS]

00:51:46   is exactly three permissible answers to [TS]

00:51:50   any question yes sir no sir I don't know [TS]

00:51:52   sir [TS]

00:51:53   no bars was well that may be yours ours [TS]

00:51:55   was yes sir no sir no excuse sir [TS]

00:51:58   00 no excuse sir not right now i believe [TS]

00:52:02   i did say no excuse so there are some [TS]

00:52:04   there are some of the things you learn [TS]

00:52:05   this like whether you like it or not the [TS]

00:52:06   whole point military school is not to [TS]

00:52:07   help you bloom is a special flower it is [TS]

00:52:09   to take you at the point when you are [TS]

00:52:11   most mother was most possible that you [TS]

00:52:13   could become an interesting person and [TS]

00:52:15   then try to make you uh a miserable brad [TS]

00:52:18   Ziegler [TS]

00:52:19   oh absolutely and then three in the [TS]

00:52:20   shower yeah what you think it's kinda [TS]

00:52:22   interesting you say to somebody why why [TS]

00:52:24   isn't your belt buckle shinier no excuse [TS]

00:52:28   sir you don't get sick as I was busy [TS]

00:52:29   watching buck rogers right you see no [TS]

00:52:32   excuse sir excuse sir it's a very [TS]

00:52:34   interesting idea to various state [TS]

00:52:35   because for somebody like me who is why [TS]

00:52:37   don't you notice this i'm a bit of a [TS]

00:52:38   talker because of my extensive liberal [TS]

00:52:41   arts background I got a reason for [TS]

00:52:42   everything that's right you would you [TS]

00:52:44   want to justify why your belt buckle is [TS]

00:52:46   not shiny go shower if you want in a [TS]

00:52:48   what is it [TS]

00:52:49   shower down to get a shower down to get [TS]

00:52:51   an eighth scans nicely but I shout out [TS]

00:52:54   to get an A and he had a little he had a [TS]

00:52:56   weird accent like weird like Oklahoma [TS]

00:52:58   accent shower down na na is miserable [TS]

00:53:01   shower down [TS]

00:53:02   right now there's there's literally in [TS]

00:53:04   the entire United States in our history [TS]

00:53:06   there's literally only one thing worse [TS]

00:53:07   than junior high and that's middle [TS]

00:53:08   school junior high is disgusting because [TS]

00:53:11   it's got got this problem on one level [TS]

00:53:13   of like a lucky say like some of the [TS]

00:53:16   people you know look like the retirees [TS]

00:53:18   and others look like toddlers [TS]

00:53:20   yeah but 6 7th and 8th grade I think [TS]

00:53:22   it's even worse because you got six [TS]

00:53:24   graders long in elementary school [TS]

00:53:27   nope i was i didn't have middle school I [TS]

00:53:29   had junior high but middle so I've heard [TS]

00:53:31   people when I learned about middle [TS]

00:53:32   school it gave me it gave me the shakes [TS]

00:53:34   so some of the girls in sixth grade look [TS]

00:53:36   like supermodels [TS]

00:53:37   yeah other ones look like they probably [TS]

00:53:39   needed to change their nappy right and [TS]

00:53:42   then but then you've got guys even in [TS]

00:53:44   seventh grade and these the really [TS]

00:53:46   stinky guys with with the weird [TS]

00:53:48   mustaches it didn't know how awkward [TS]

00:53:50   they were those poor bastards [TS]

00:53:52   I mean you get those guys and and you [TS]

00:53:55   grow really fast and you can done [TS]

00:53:56   coordinated year you know I don't you [TS]

00:53:58   want to have told you my plan now what's [TS]

00:54:00   your plan my plan is that the no one [TS]

00:54:03   learns anything in junior high [TS]

00:54:05   there is no they're not a single bit of [TS]

00:54:07   useful information is communicated or [TS]

00:54:09   retained 20-point information not [TS]

00:54:11   nothing nothing will be taught or or by [TS]

00:54:13   design nothing will be permitted to be [TS]

00:54:15   learned nothing enough it is impossible [TS]

00:54:17   to learn it is it is an unlearning [TS]

00:54:19   belittle unlearning in the bowl [TS]

00:54:22   environment [TS]

00:54:23   ok super super train junior high you [TS]

00:54:25   come in as an empty vessel and leave [TS]

00:54:26   potentially even more empty then you [TS]

00:54:28   came in so here's what happens here's [TS]

00:54:30   here's my plan for junior i'm sure i've [TS]

00:54:32   told you this at all from 7th 8th grade [TS]

00:54:35   all those kids are building trail in [TS]

00:54:38   national parks [TS]

00:54:39   [Music] [TS]

00:54:41   and this is a national program to get [TS]

00:54:44   sunscreen [TS]

00:54:45   well your betrayal so the have to get [TS]

00:54:49   fucking you get you get a hatter you're [TS]

00:54:51   under cover of trees I mean it's a bad [TS]

00:54:52   guess if you're building traveling [TS]

00:54:53   Arizona you do need sunscreen little [TS]

00:54:55   trip but uh but so we have a lot of [TS]

00:54:57   national parks a lot of those trails [TS]

00:54:58   need need a tremendous amount of upkeep [TS]

00:55:01   some of them were in treacherous [TS]

00:55:02   locations for older people to go up [TS]

00:55:05   there and haul logs and and fix that [TS]

00:55:08   trail that's a lot of that's a lot of [TS]

00:55:09   work for people young people [TS]

00:55:11   particularly seventh graders who are [TS]

00:55:14   incapable of learning anything and are [TS]

00:55:16   useful to society in every way except [TS]

00:55:19   except and folders there they're just [TS]

00:55:23   old enough that they could drag logs and [TS]

00:55:26   they can there that they should be [TS]

00:55:28   employed as donkeys that thread [TS]

00:55:31   throughout our national park system and [TS]

00:55:33   if if we used case this way so six [TS]

00:55:37   frayed you're learning stuff you're [TS]

00:55:39   still you're like engage your learning [TS]

00:55:40   about art and music you learn all the [TS]

00:55:43   bones in the body and how they connect [TS]

00:55:45   to one another and then you graduate [TS]

00:55:46   from sixth grade and you are immediately [TS]

00:55:49   sent to a Works Progress Administration [TS]

00:55:52   style camp on the side of Mount Rainier [TS]

00:55:55   or perhaps out in Death Valley [TS]

00:55:57   California wherever it is that travel [TS]

00:55:59   needs to be built that you are employed [TS]

00:56:02   in this capacity for two straight years [TS]

00:56:03   you come out the other side and here you [TS]

00:56:06   have clear skin you have a clear sense [TS]

00:56:09   of purpose your body is strong your your [TS]

00:56:13   youth has been employed in the service [TS]

00:56:14   of your great country and then you enter [TS]

00:56:17   ninth grade and again begin to learn [TS]

00:56:20   things from books at night at night [TS]

00:56:24   these kids will all sleep in these the [TS]

00:56:26   these depression-era bunk houses like [TS]

00:56:30   babies they'll sleep and they would they [TS]

00:56:32   will sleep like babies there will be [TS]

00:56:33   well they will read the read for a half [TS]

00:56:35   an hour by lantern light someone will [TS]

00:56:37   tell them a ghost story perhaps on [TS]

00:56:40   weekends and it will be contributing to [TS]

00:56:42   America in a way that that that there's [TS]

00:56:47   no substitute and they will be not not [TS]

00:56:48   contributing because that's part of the [TS]

00:56:50   problem i think that you're dressing [TS]

00:56:51   with this is [TS]

00:56:52   the utter lack of contribution the the [TS]

00:56:54   vacuum of contribution that we get from [TS]

00:56:56   these these fucking pubescent leeches [TS]

00:56:59   yeah these are terrible people that [TS]

00:57:00   people 7th 8th graders are terrible [TS]

00:57:02   people there they're the worst that [TS]

00:57:05   humanity has to offer and right now [TS]

00:57:06   we're plating them with like a so that [TS]

00:57:10   their dressing like those Bratz dolls [TS]

00:57:12   and they're listening to hip-hop music [TS]

00:57:14   and they are joining gangs or whatever [TS]

00:57:16   it is that young people do these days [TS]

00:57:17   after wearing white bar names they are [TS]

00:57:22   they are being lolitas for their [TS]

00:57:24   next-door neighbor's whatever Dylan key [TS]

00:57:26   Tars they are causing problems they're [TS]

00:57:29   causing problems for their families [TS]

00:57:31   they're causing problems for each other [TS]

00:57:32   they have they have terrible skin John [TS]

00:57:34   this is a comprehensive fuckin solution [TS]

00:57:36   because here's the other thing I'm sure [TS]

00:57:38   this is something you've already covered [TS]

00:57:39   in in in any of your plans for this but [TS]

00:57:42   but but what is the what is the primary [TS]

00:57:43   problem identifying hear about middle [TS]

00:57:45   school is the terrible felker beyond [TS]

00:57:48   bell curve really at liberty bell curve [TS]

00:57:50   of differences right you got some kids [TS]

00:57:52   to look at it like linebackers right [TS]

00:57:54   there like nine feet tall and they're [TS]

00:57:56   all they're all mean and glandular and [TS]

00:57:58   you got other kids over here within [TS]

00:57:59   bones [TS]

00:58:00   the thing is you there is work for [TS]

00:58:02   everybody when you're fucking building [TS]

00:58:03   trail right so right see somebody has [TS]

00:58:05   somebody's making the signs that say you [TS]

00:58:08   know that you're an artist you want to [TS]

00:58:09   be an artist make a fucking sign [TS]

00:58:10   here's a sign here is up here's a little [TS]

00:58:12   a wood carving kit his sign needs to say [TS]

00:58:14   the upper loop is 2.4 kilometers and the [TS]

00:58:18   lower loop is 1.8 kilometers and a busy [TS]

00:58:21   but it's leveling the linebacker guys [TS]

00:58:23   can appoint some very large logs he's [TS]

00:58:24   not going to be so cocky anymore and [TS]

00:58:26   that little guy with the small fingers [TS]

00:58:27   he might be able to get a wasp nest out [TS]

00:58:29   of that log if we had to write but [TS]

00:58:30   everybody it's going to be to each to [TS]

00:58:32   each his ability as changed according to [TS]

00:58:35   disability precisely precisely you can [TS]

00:58:38   you send the runty ones into the into [TS]

00:58:40   the hole [TS]

00:58:41   here's the thing okay yeah the trees I [TS]

00:58:44   let me tell you something yesterday my [TS]

00:58:46   daughter had set school in the morning [TS]

00:58:48   she had half a day of school and then [TS]

00:58:50   went directly to ballet and I join her [TS]

00:58:51   at her ballet class and she tore ass in [TS]

00:58:54   ballet for 45 minutes [TS]

00:58:56   sheshe ran at school right she goes to [TS]

00:58:59   ballet shamina she was before she mostly [TS]

00:59:01   runs with a scarf she runs and runs and [TS]

00:59:02   runs and runs and runs and you know [TS]

00:59:04   what she is good and tired when it's [TS]

00:59:06   time for bed [TS]

00:59:07   I don't part of the problem is we are [TS]

00:59:09   not tiring out our children enough [TS]

00:59:11   that's exactly right [TS]

00:59:12   it's like Gibson Gibson Gibson the only [TS]

00:59:14   Gibson seems like he's mostly happy with [TS]

00:59:15   so nice to see Gibson but would make [TS]

00:59:17   gifts and happier is if the world would [TS]

00:59:19   allow him to be exhausted [TS]

00:59:20   when's the last time Gibson was really [TS]

00:59:22   satisfying exhausted this is a property [TS]

00:59:23   of at rest Gibson had a place where [TS]

00:59:26   there were rabbits who needed to be [TS]

00:59:28   chased who gives them would have a job [TS]

00:59:31   keeps him would find his doc and and the [TS]

00:59:33   things that drive around there drive [TS]

00:59:35   around the city of seattle and all over [TS]

00:59:37   the place you look through plate-glass [TS]

00:59:39   windows at perfectly healthy adult [TS]

00:59:41   people on treadmills and elliptical [TS]

00:59:44   machines and station empowering the [TS]

00:59:46   powering nothing with all that wattage [TS]

00:59:48   yeah that's right they're creating [TS]

00:59:50   executed he is going nowhere sitting [TS]

00:59:51   there watching television they're using [TS]

00:59:53   electricity rather than generating [TS]

00:59:54   electricity they're not doing a fucking [TS]

00:59:55   job [TS]

00:59:56   well they're creating heat which then [TS]

00:59:58   listen to the blind guy [TS]

00:59:58   listen to the blind guy [TS]

01:00:00   please give me a fucking break it then [TS]

01:00:02   the he needs to be dissipated and we [TS]

01:00:03   need when we are using more air [TS]

01:00:06   conditioning and fans to blow this heat [TS]

01:00:08   that they're making instead of using [TS]

01:00:10   that heat to power their buildings are [TS]

01:00:12   instead of using that heat who do to [TS]

01:00:15   lift logs up trail [TS]

01:00:17   these people are just burning they're [TS]

01:00:19   just burning food it's like it's like we [TS]

01:00:21   live in a quote/unquote Country with [TS]

01:00:23   fucking 300 million little duchies it's [TS]

01:00:26   just it's a goddamn shame there's not [TS]

01:00:28   somebody who can come together and bring [TS]

01:00:30   together all these sources of energy and [TS]

01:00:32   non energy into one place and I'm just [TS]

01:00:34   going to say you know what your opening [TS]

01:00:35   my eyes to all of this [TS]

01:00:36   there needs to be a lot more fucking [TS]

01:00:37   exhaustion in this country there does [TS]

01:00:39   that's exactly right and the problem [TS]

01:00:41   with this is that anymore if you say [TS]

01:00:44   alright here's the proposal national [TS]

01:00:46   program all kids have to do this all [TS]

01:00:50   kids [TS]

01:00:52   oh my god you're gonna hear they're [TS]

01:00:54   being you imagine you're gonna hear from [TS]

01:00:56   both sides you're gonna hear from the [TS]

01:00:57   people we just spotted me then it was [TS]

01:00:59   just fun and that's only such a little [TS]

01:01:02   how we can't do it and then you're gonna [TS]

01:01:03   hear from the people who are like our [TS]

01:01:05   kids are being you know we're [TS]

01:01:07   homeschooling our kids to believe that [TS]

01:01:08   God made the universe in four and a half [TS]

01:01:10   days and you you know and blah blah blah [TS]

01:01:13   everybody's every kid is a fucking [TS]

01:01:15   special flower in this country and what [TS]

01:01:17   you need is somebody with the will to [TS]

01:01:18   say your kids are useless stupid little [TS]

01:01:21   fucks just like every other kid who they [TS]

01:01:24   need to be they need to be tethered to [TS]

01:01:26   some kind of some kind of all that they [TS]

01:01:30   need to be yoked to useful and that's [TS]

01:01:32   exactly right [TS]

01:01:34   they need to be yoked to do some kind of [TS]

01:01:36   water wheel they not that they want that [TS]

01:01:39   duck and they don't know it you know the [TS]

01:01:41   kids our age our kids are you know a few [TS]

01:01:42   years apart but they want limits they [TS]

01:01:44   don't know it and if they don't want [TS]

01:01:46   limits were going to make them what [TS]

01:01:47   limits for the first three weeks would [TS]

01:01:49   be so much crime gonna scratch [TS]

01:01:52   whimpering and whining and people would [TS]

01:01:54   be saying where's my playstation and [TS]

01:01:55   people would be saying and you say like [TS]

01:01:57   to thank you for contributing to the [TS]

01:01:58   salt water slurry started beating lights [TS]

01:02:00   out in 15 minutes and these let me make [TS]

01:02:04   a shaker delicious early tea at first at [TS]

01:02:07   first they would be rapping to each [TS]

01:02:08   other they'd be like yeah [TS]

01:02:10   rap and shit they'd be like talking to [TS]

01:02:12   each other in there in there like [TS]

01:02:14   youthful patois but by the end of the by [TS]

01:02:18   the end of the first year they would all [TS]

01:02:20   be speaking like Walt Whitman and they [TS]

01:02:22   would be they would have they would have [TS]

01:02:24   woodsman skills they would be all they [TS]

01:02:27   be some silly and interesting stories [TS]

01:02:29   but they wouldn't tell them that's [TS]

01:02:30   exactly right they have a kid yourself [TS]

01:02:33   it's staring into the distance they [TS]

01:02:34   would seem wiser than they were and then [TS]

01:02:36   they would start ninth grade and you [TS]

01:02:38   would say US history and they would open [TS]

01:02:41   their books with their pencils at the [TS]

01:02:42   ready hungry hungry for history hungry [TS]

01:02:45   for history and you know what if you [TS]

01:02:46   can't pull up those fucking pants maybe [TS]

01:02:48   we'll suture them to your midsection [TS]

01:02:49   like a fucking gentleman pull up those [TS]

01:02:52   pants you know what you know what you [TS]

01:02:53   lose pass privileges are going to go [TS]

01:02:55   make sure I with no pants for a week [TS]

01:02:56   this would even be a problem because [TS]

01:02:57   they start off at first that first month [TS]

01:02:59   and you have that at at that the [TS]

01:03:02   National Park and their pants would be [TS]

01:03:04   hanging down you can see their [TS]

01:03:05   underpants [TS]

01:03:06   yeah but they would realize that the [TS]

01:03:08   first time the first time a Wolverine [TS]

01:03:10   camera haha but this was not some this [TS]

01:03:14   is not something downtown thing like a [TS]

01:03:17   fancy you don't pull up your pants on [TS]

01:03:18   the way and hold your fucking energy [TS]

01:03:19   drink with the other and do that kind of [TS]

01:03:21   wattle now you make up belts out of a [TS]

01:03:24   lot of rope that you will you will [TS]

01:03:26   yourself [TS]

01:03:27   I don't hold your pants up you're saying [TS]

01:03:29   you know what it is here here's your [TS]

01:03:30   here's your extracurricular activity you [TS]

01:03:32   go out you go out and cut a little bit [TS]

01:03:34   of jute maybe if you're lucky and you [TS]

01:03:37   can make a belt because the other thing [TS]

01:03:38   you get those rappy pants that are down [TS]

01:03:40   around your down around your ass you if [TS]

01:03:42   you go out i understand that Arizona is [TS]

01:03:44   warm but they're certainly gonna need to [TS]

01:03:45   build trail and a lot of places with [TS]

01:03:47   humidity [TS]

01:03:47   have you ever had maybe at camp have you [TS]

01:03:50   ever had a really really really bad heat [TS]

01:03:53   rash [TS]

01:03:54   oh I get heat rash like you wouldn't [TS]

01:03:56   believe me both buddy and I'm just I'm [TS]

01:03:58   just saying if you're if you're 13 or 14 [TS]

01:04:00   and there's not a goddamn ongoing [TS]

01:04:01   insight you're going to think twice [TS]

01:04:03   about rolling hip-hop we're making a [TS]

01:04:04   trail you're gonna pull those pants [TS]

01:04:06   you're gonna stick your fingers into [TS]

01:04:07   that log and plot a god damn wasps nests [TS]

01:04:09   and you're gonna be grateful to be quiet [TS]

01:04:10   and keep all the stories to yourself and [TS]

01:04:12   you're here you're there every one of [TS]

01:04:14   the bunkhouses yeah at the end of the [TS]

01:04:17   bunkhouse there's gonna be there's gonna [TS]

01:04:19   be a like a tin can full of baby powder [TS]

01:04:22   that's because you have to share and you [TS]

01:04:25   gotta make it last [TS]

01:04:26   that's right there's a tin can baby [TS]

01:04:27   powder and there's a little bit of [TS]

01:04:28   hydrogen peroxide and that is the [TS]

01:04:30   entirety of your medical kids haha oh [TS]

01:04:33   that is good if it can't be cured with [TS]

01:04:35   baby powder and hydrogen peroxide then [TS]

01:04:37   if you discover some roots berries and [TS]

01:04:41   twigs along the way to the work site [TS]

01:04:42   that might help you and I don't see you [TS]

01:04:44   been down to get them and you could make [TS]

01:04:45   this into a simple poultice good on you [TS]

01:04:47   but you know what here's the thing Tyler [TS]

01:04:49   Heraclitus understand that you want to [TS]

01:04:50   go to violin camp we'll worry about that [TS]

01:04:52   when you come back from the trail and [TS]

01:04:54   you can you can you fix your rash [TS]

01:04:56   John I think you're onto something very [TS]

01:04:57   important here to get give me five [TS]

01:04:59   things that have been useful to society [TS]

01:05:01   to anyone that h is done maybe Mozart [TS]

01:05:04   maybe Mozart Mozart probably could have [TS]

01:05:06   made some trail to he went to visit the [TS]

01:05:07   fuck up in his thirties if he had gone [TS]

01:05:09   ahead and made some Viennese trail it's [TS]

01:05:11   true i mean it is debatable whether [TS]

01:05:14   Rambo actually helped or hurt the [TS]

01:05:17   progression of society but i would i [TS]

01:05:19   would put him in the class of like [TS]

01:05:21   somebody that ok good like he was able [TS]

01:05:24   to write some books heels relax verily [TS]

01:05:27   he ruined some people's lives who I you [TS]

01:05:29   know even even he in his 15 minutes at [TS]

01:05:33   the end of the day where he could write [TS]

01:05:34   in his on his yellow legal pad that are [TS]

01:05:36   handed out you know like why I think [TS]

01:05:39   every kid would get a legal pad which [TS]

01:05:40   get a certain amount of paper and a golf [TS]

01:05:42   pencil [TS]

01:05:43   yeah you get golf mental and a legal pad [TS]

01:05:45   and you keep it in your footlocker and [TS]

01:05:47   you can write your you can write your [TS]

01:05:48   memoirs you can you can write like [TS]

01:05:50   theory letters to home but course after [TS]

01:05:52   the first month or two [TS]

01:05:53   those cheerleaders to homewood would [TS]

01:05:55   would stop and you start to get to start [TS]

01:05:57   to get letters a the kids start writing [TS]

01:06:00   letters like your mother and father [TS]

01:06:01   today we summited mount adams and while [TS]

01:06:07   while we were there we improve the trail [TS]

01:06:09   love your son [TS]

01:06:11   shaniqua you know that I got two big [TS]

01:06:17   problems in addition all these other [TS]

01:06:18   problems but with these young people and [TS]

01:06:20   that is that they get too much stuff to [TS]

01:06:22   themselves and they got too many things [TS]

01:06:25   that can rely on other people to do if i [TS]

01:06:27   may say John and this is not going to [TS]

01:06:29   give you a note on this but I think [TS]

01:06:30   you're WPA project it should have [TS]

01:06:32   require a lot of awkward share [TS]

01:06:35   ring and constant uncertainty right so [TS]

01:06:38   first of all yes there is some baby [TS]

01:06:39   powder in there at first some days there [TS]

01:06:41   might be a tablespoon full and there [TS]

01:06:43   might not be any firm on floor no wait a [TS]

01:06:45   minute you're getting very psychological [TS]

01:06:47   about the mi papá shearing and [TS]

01:06:51   uncertainty so here's the thing you come [TS]

01:06:52   back and you want to get your head now [TS]

01:06:54   what have sheet of paper that's right [TS]

01:06:56   and have a golf pencil [TS]

01:06:57   that's right you know what now there is [TS]

01:06:59   one foot locker for everybody while you [TS]

01:07:01   were out making trail there's one foot [TS]

01:07:03   locker also you write a letter to your [TS]

01:07:06   parents [TS]

01:07:06   maybe we don't send it sometimes i see [TS]

01:07:08   so tonight so today at lunch everybody [TS]

01:07:10   gets a peanut butter sandwich tonight we [TS]

01:07:12   are live tonight at dinner everybody [TS]

01:07:13   arrives in the mess hall there's one [TS]

01:07:15   live chicken [TS]

01:07:17   yeah if you want you if you if you if [TS]

01:07:21   you want if you want to continue in your [TS]

01:07:22   life enjoy that in ninth grade so you [TS]

01:07:24   know I don't think you should gasps let [TS]

01:07:26   you should gas like the shit out of [TS]

01:07:28   these kids especially the first you [TS]

01:07:29   think this was gonna be like like [TS]

01:07:31   terrordome it's a lot like the prisoner [TS]

01:07:34   we want to we want to get that we want [TS]

01:07:35   to get we want to get good solid workout [TS]

01:07:37   of these kids I don't want to terrorize [TS]

01:07:38   them i'll come on really [TS]

01:07:41   but i but i think i think that the the [TS]

01:07:43   extent of their media should be a 16 [TS]

01:07:46   millimeter films that were produced [TS]

01:07:48   between 1950 in 1965 huh [TS]

01:07:53   and at night everybody everybody you [TS]

01:07:55   know spend a little time maybe on we let [TS]

01:07:57   down we can you get to watch a film and [TS]

01:07:59   it's a it's like a film about what to do [TS]

01:08:02   in the event of a nuclear attack [TS]

01:08:03   important to film about the dangers of [TS]

01:08:05   marijuana will be relevant you're not [TS]

01:08:07   reading the news you know where what's [TS]

01:08:09   happening in the quote-unquote outside [TS]

01:08:11   world that the the extra trail world [TS]

01:08:14   it's everybody should send well that's [TS]

01:08:15   right you know and watch the same film [TS]

01:08:17   strip crisscross applesauce [TS]

01:08:19   there's no there's no electricity there [TS]

01:08:21   except as generated by like a [TS]

01:08:23   coal-burning generally or maybe it's [TS]

01:08:26   tyler Heraclitus on a goddamn treadmill [TS]

01:08:28   that he had to make out of cute [TS]

01:08:30   ok here's here's one more thing John I [TS]

01:08:32   can I'd really in no way do I want to [TS]

01:08:34   give you notice because my only thought [TS]

01:08:35   how are guys able to break i'm not [TS]

01:08:38   saying this is prison but how are you [TS]

01:08:39   guys able to break out prison they bring [TS]

01:08:41   a present there for so long that they [TS]

01:08:43   learn all of the patterns they learn [TS]

01:08:46   which guards [TS]

01:08:48   deuce are certain ways they learn when [TS]

01:08:50   people walk by they learn when the [TS]

01:08:52   towels get delivered [TS]

01:08:53   they learn like when the new ships are [TS]

01:08:54   handed out they learn enough about these [TS]

01:08:56   patterns that they can they can know it [TS]

01:08:59   inside and out right the pattern never [TS]

01:09:00   changes and that's when they're able to [TS]

01:09:02   capitalize on it that's when that's when [TS]

01:09:04   you're able to to to to you know to what [TS]

01:09:07   it called ganking right youyou stabby [TS]

01:09:09   stab a fish or something like that [TS]

01:09:11   stab a fish yes so here's what here's [TS]

01:09:13   all I'm saying to you just like Paul [TS]

01:09:15   Shaffer all of a sudden [TS]

01:09:16   yes exactly actually I haven't no on the [TS]

01:09:19   whole shape here that i would love to [TS]

01:09:20   come back in just a second but but now [TS]

01:09:22   you're giving these young people too [TS]

01:09:24   much credit because mi well in the sense [TS]

01:09:26   that in sixth grade I believe that most [TS]

01:09:29   minds most young people's minds are so [TS]

01:09:31   malleable enough that you can create an [TS]

01:09:34   entire reality all the more reason to [TS]

01:09:36   maleate it well but they but you create [TS]

01:09:38   this reality in which the idea of escape [TS]

01:09:41   is not it does not even occur to them [TS]

01:09:43   because it is their new this is their [TS]

01:09:44   new life [TS]

01:09:45   there's no I mean for that first month [TS]

01:09:47   yes there are trying to make it over the [TS]

01:09:49   wire trying i don't really want to back [TS]

01:09:52   their brats doll you sound like a man [TS]

01:09:53   with all due respect who has not been [TS]

01:09:55   around that many seventh graders because [TS]

01:09:56   here's how life works with a [TS]

01:09:57   seventh-grader okay Tyler Heraclitus now [TS]

01:10:00   listen you have to be home early tonight [TS]

01:10:02   and looking up becoming 1030 go that was [TS]

01:10:05   an early so you have to be here at seven [TS]

01:10:07   they stepped foot onto the grounds at [TS]

01:10:09   seven and then walk away [TS]

01:10:11   these kids are weasels they're like [TS]

01:10:12   little lawyers and they will pick up on [TS]

01:10:14   any part of the pattern and you know [TS]

01:10:15   what they want for your week the reason [TS]

01:10:17   that the reason they act that way then [TS]

01:10:19   no one has worn out basically put that [TS]

01:10:22   into a yoke and call and and and [TS]

01:10:24   encourage them to pull a 500 power log [TS]

01:10:28   up the side of a mountain and he started [TS]

01:10:30   mount maybe on a logger pretty sure they [TS]

01:10:32   can actually pull well they go they go [TS]

01:10:34   to boot they go to bootcamp certainly [TS]

01:10:36   where where it starts at up potentially [TS]

01:10:39   as like this is these are kind of fun [TS]

01:10:42   and you're going to have to learn how [TS]

01:10:43   the camp works [TS]

01:10:44   yeah these are fun activities at first [TS]

01:10:47   like hey let's all jump in the mud [TS]

01:10:50   let's make sure that out of straw yeah [TS]

01:10:52   let's like do some fun they're gonna be [TS]

01:10:54   a lot of people that are grousing and my [TS]

01:10:55   god this sucks i hate split and you know [TS]

01:10:59   the food [TS]

01:10:59   is pretty good at first and then you [TS]

01:11:02   know it's it's it's it's not boot camp [TS]

01:11:04   like in the military where they try and [TS]

01:11:05   break you all you want to get the point [TS]

01:11:08   where they immediately try to kill [TS]

01:11:09   themselves you want to give them just [TS]

01:11:11   enough of a soak in that warm water that [TS]

01:11:13   the poor start to open a little bit and [TS]

01:11:15   that's when john gets in this camp but [TS]

01:11:16   first let's follow it let's get some of [TS]

01:11:18   my god John [TS]

01:11:20   oh my god this is it is camp and this is [TS]

01:11:23   how you like this is how we get you know [TS]

01:11:24   what maybe avoid until people until [TS]

01:11:26   people and culture in our culture and [TS]

01:11:28   society understand and embrace what this [TS]

01:11:30   is bringing to our wider felt wrong [TS]

01:11:33   maybe it is just can't maybe it's free [TS]

01:11:35   camp it's among the WPA camp at first [TS]

01:11:37   and you come you're going to have some [TS]

01:11:38   fun get beat get outdoors and get some [TS]

01:11:41   fresh air right and this is going to be [TS]

01:11:43   good for your kids it's gonna like it's [TS]

01:11:45   a weight reducer or if your kids were [TS]

01:11:46   depressed since he and the apertures a [TS]

01:11:50   TD and Asperger's you know send the [TS]

01:11:52   these camps will nurture your child [TS]

01:11:54   organic food organic food and then and [TS]

01:11:56   that's right very organic food and then [TS]

01:11:58   after a certain point of time it's like [TS]

01:12:01   okay we're going to get now we're going [TS]

01:12:02   to the log toss and we're going to do [TS]

01:12:05   the log carry now we're going to do the [TS]

01:12:07   log drag becomes like a ropes course or [TS]

01:12:10   something right we're gonna go out and [TS]

01:12:11   say hi trust Trust trust exercises and [TS]

01:12:14   then suddenly one day you come back the [TS]

01:12:15   cabin is not gone in order to sleep on a [TS]

01:12:17   rail and they say what do you mean they [TS]

01:12:19   say figure it out figure I think about [TS]

01:12:21   our national parks is that they're [TS]

01:12:22   actually very fun event just that this [TS]

01:12:24   is the thing that I would like you to [TS]

01:12:25   adults to know that you can have fun [TS]

01:12:27   there anything great when you return to [TS]

01:12:29   your parents you can ask them to take [TS]

01:12:30   you there although probably you should [TS]

01:12:32   be should probably keep it to yourself [TS]

01:12:33   when you're nice great you bring your [TS]

01:12:34   parents there and you'll say you see [TS]

01:12:35   that zipline I built that supply and I'm [TS]

01:12:38   sorry for everything sorry for all the [TS]

01:12:41   pain I caused your mother and father [TS]

01:12:42   calculating the greeting card [TS]

01:12:46   let's read my report on william henry [TS]

01:12:48   harrison high road by lamplight was [TS]

01:12:52   either 30-day president up placing a [TS]

01:12:56   30-day president was in harrison william [TS]

01:13:00   henry harrison wasn't but there was one [TS]

01:13:01   president he gets sick I think just like [TS]

01:13:04   Kennedy he didn't wear a hat during his [TS]

01:13:06   parade and then he got sick and his [TS]

01:13:08   entire presidency he was sick and he [TS]

01:13:09   died after he was like he was like the [TS]

01:13:11   john paul the 1st of american presence [TS]

01:13:13   that's correct sir exit now back in Ohio [TS]

01:13:18   make my own Cincinnati my friends went [TS]

01:13:20   to a William Henry Harrison High School [TS]

01:13:21   been really for a month then they were [TS]

01:13:24   kilt an idiot [TS]

01:13:27   they were never given my like some kind [TS]

01:13:29   of pneumonia remember that when pope [TS]

01:13:31   john paul the first you remember like is [TS]

01:13:33   that the previous vote was a pope john i [TS]

01:13:35   don't forget which one anyway that job [TS]

01:13:37   there was John Paul the one John Paul [TS]

01:13:39   one but yeah but I mean before him [TS]

01:13:41   because that guy act was that like the [TS]

01:13:42   Vatican to guy this guy's been poked [TS]

01:13:44   fucking forever remember I think to Pope [TS]

01:13:47   was John or Paul George my been pooping [TS]

01:13:52   Ringo Ringo Ringo have been around [TS]

01:13:54   forever i remember this it was about [TS]

01:13:56   nineteen seventy what 78 79 and it was [TS]

01:13:59   such a huge deal because all we're gonna [TS]

01:14:01   have the smoke and everything that I'd [TS]

01:14:03   like a month later and it doesn't ever [TS]

01:14:05   again it was not right and and that's [TS]

01:14:08   how we got poked on Paul tube and then [TS]

01:14:09   he again not now he was like a George [TS]

01:14:12   Martin he's just around forever [TS]

01:14:14   I am I a just in passing i have a friend [TS]

01:14:19   who tried out for the food fighters [TS]

01:14:22   excuse me try out for food fighters it [TS]

01:14:25   was a great experience [TS]

01:14:25   he said he enjoyed a lot who was my [TS]

01:14:27   friend my friend Stephen Fox the guy [TS]

01:14:29   played in that a 80's cover band with oh [TS]

01:14:31   yeah Steven foxy a good man and he a [TS]

01:14:33   good man a corner and a fantastic guitar [TS]

01:14:35   by the only one in the band who everyone [TS]

01:14:36   that's very very gifted guitar player [TS]

01:14:38   like like like Colton he can basically [TS]

01:14:40   what it was the opposite of sight [TS]

01:14:42   reading here play he could hear play [TS]

01:14:44   pretty much anything about here [TS]

01:14:46   thank you like like mozart but my other [TS]

01:14:49   story was I've been watching this video [TS]

01:14:51   over and over of foo fighters when [TS]

01:14:53   they're on letterman in two thousand [TS]

01:14:54   right after he came back from surgery [TS]

01:14:55   and threw a fan but I think they're a [TS]

01:14:57   great band the drummer's just [TS]

01:14:59   mind-blowing is a great drummer is [TS]

01:15:01   amazing and you don't again drugs drugs [TS]

01:15:05   drugs drugs really drugs SE over just a [TS]

01:15:07   year after that performance but then [TS]

01:15:09   that Dave SAT by his bed set by his bed [TS]

01:15:12   into thinking [TS]

01:15:12   better well the nice thing so I never [TS]

01:15:15   have found I found Dave girl to be one [TS]

01:15:18   of the nicest to people in the rock [TS]

01:15:20   music business he seems like he's really [TS]

01:15:22   seems real weird but like a real guy yea [TS]

01:15:26   he's a he's a weird guy who got super [TS]

01:15:28   rich and he recognizes that that's weird [TS]

01:15:31   but I didn't see makes an attempt to [TS]

01:15:33   cover up [TS]

01:15:34   he's isn't deliberately peculiar like [TS]

01:15:35   fucking Jimmy Corrigan but he also is [TS]

01:15:38   that thing Jimmy Corrigan yeah the [TS]

01:15:39   world's smartest stars in the world [TS]

01:15:41   yeah that and the drummer with the [TS]

01:15:43   heroin rusty brown on rusty trombone [TS]

01:15:46   anyway anybody know [TS]

01:15:47   grover cleveland was president of the [TS]

01:15:49   United States two non-consecutive times [TS]

01:15:51   there's a fight joke about that I heard [TS]

01:15:53   was the joke i can't remember and that [TS]

01:15:57   the but now we see the one was killed by [TS]

01:15:59   the eastern european guy and I think in [TS]

01:16:01   McKinley ya know most presidents come [TS]

01:16:04   from Ohio it turns out i did that is [TS]

01:16:05   true more presidents than from Ohio than [TS]

01:16:08   any other state except maybe virginia [TS]

01:16:09   Land of Lincoln Ohio a lot of people [TS]

01:16:12   live in [TS]

01:16:13   that's right realize that that's right i [TS]

01:16:15   live in Cincinnati which is almost an [TS]

01:16:16   Ohio globally from New York this is the [TS]

01:16:20   kind of thing I would overnight great [TS]

01:16:21   use their eat so here's the thing and [TS]

01:16:24   this is I've noticed this for years and [TS]

01:16:25   i'm curious about this site and I'd [TS]

01:16:27   looks like you guys did not deal with [TS]

01:16:29   this on our show us when you're in [TS]

01:16:33   harvey danger what we on God was it [TS]

01:16:35   created Warner Conan or we can still [TS]

01:16:38   become more arm got a nice guy seems [TS]

01:16:42   like a homemade dick [TS]

01:16:43   yeah haha yes exactly something he's [TS]

01:16:47   going to go to make love camp if i get [TS]

01:16:48   minus all guy [TS]

01:16:49   good for him okay so here's the thing [TS]

01:16:51   they get out David Letterman has just [TS]

01:16:54   almost died from like SuperDuper heart [TS]

01:16:56   surgery and he makes that you can read [TS]

01:16:58   about this on the internet it's another [TS]

01:16:59   nice day girl story is that is that when [TS]

01:17:01   he came back for the first time to his [TS]

01:17:03   first show after coming back he had one [TS]

01:17:05   request he says I want the food fighters [TS]

01:17:06   my favorite band compliment favorite [TS]

01:17:08   song and the story goes is this [TS]

01:17:10   Letterman this is a desert 2000-2004 [TS]

01:17:13   heart attack he came back from his like [TS]

01:17:14   quintuple bypass I don't understand how [TS]

01:17:16   you can have a fourth or fifth chamber [TS]

01:17:17   but you know he comes back and he says I [TS]

01:17:20   really wish my favorite band come and [TS]

01:17:21   play my favorite song on the show story [TS]

01:17:23   goes the food fighters were in fucking [TS]

01:17:25   prison [TS]

01:17:25   still at the time I think this is [TS]

01:17:28   correct and came back and played [TS]

01:17:29   Everlong on his show and its really [TS]

01:17:31   really good but there's that part when [TS]

01:17:34   they go into that is the other think i'm [TS]

01:17:36   gonna get and there's a part like you [TS]

01:17:37   know three quarters of the way through [TS]

01:17:38   their kind of goes into that vamping on [TS]

01:17:40   that and the part of all the voices and [TS]

01:17:43   of course depending on letterman so at [TS]

01:17:46   that awesome tense part of the song [TS]

01:17:48   what do you hear haha Shaffer and pasta [TS]

01:17:54   from place on my guard down song I mean [TS]

01:17:57   you see they might be giants actually [TS]

01:17:59   you know they may be Giants playing [TS]

01:18:00   along with Johnny Carson's band i can [TS]

01:18:01   highly recommend it so it's beautiful [TS]

01:18:03   they played birdhouse in your soul with [TS]

01:18:05   a very under under-rehearsed doc [TS]

01:18:08   severinsen orchestra but it still [TS]

01:18:09   glorious its voice you could see [TS]

01:18:11   Flansburg flies are lit up that he's [TS]

01:18:13   playing along with this giant man on TV [TS]

01:18:14   this is on the Internet [TS]

01:18:16   oh yeah things birdhouse in your soul on [TS]

01:18:17   Johnny Carson anyway I'm just saying now [TS]

01:18:20   you if you were to show up and on [TS]

01:18:23   Letterman's uh on Letterman Show on boy [TS]

01:18:25   i still love that guy [TS]

01:18:26   but but how do you think it works I mean [TS]

01:18:29   you seem like that's gonna come up at [TS]

01:18:31   some point they're going to say oh hey [TS]

01:18:32   you know you and your band are going to [TS]

01:18:34   matter or you know you by yourself you [TS]

01:18:36   can understand if they want to if we'll [TS]

01:18:38   leave don't you still with the panel and [TS]

01:18:39   plan out my understanding is that the [TS]

01:18:41   assumption is the assumption used to be [TS]

01:18:44   that Paul the band we're going to play [TS]

01:18:45   with you unless you either said unless [TS]

01:18:50   you had enough authority to say no thank [TS]

01:18:52   you [TS]

01:18:53   I think nowadays Paul the band are they [TS]

01:18:58   probably checking Twitter on their [TS]

01:18:59   phones now I don't get the sense that [TS]

01:19:01   they play with young bands coming that I [TS]

01:19:03   was used to grate on my nerves when [TS]

01:19:05   Robyn Hitchcock was on there doing [TS]

01:19:06   lesson on the wasps and and the world's [TS]

01:19:09   the most dangerous band is jamming along [TS]

01:19:11   and because they're really get me thing [TS]

01:19:13   is when you know what's his name the guy [TS]

01:19:14   with the yellow guitar like it is he's [TS]

01:19:16   great but they're all they're great but [TS]

01:19:18   then Paul Shaffer his his keyboards are [TS]

01:19:20   so fucking loud know how is he still [TS]

01:19:22   alive [TS]

01:19:23   Paul Shaffer please welcome player in [TS]

01:19:25   the band how is he still alive first of [TS]

01:19:26   all he's canadian and so that existing [TS]

01:19:29   from a lot of the ways that people does [TS]

01:19:31   for the Thunder island there's another [TS]

01:19:34   is that when John song under bay but [TS]

01:19:36   that's the one [TS]

01:19:38   under haha ok that but also paul shaffer [TS]

01:19:40   well first of all he was blues brother [TS]

01:19:43   Paul Shaffer also keeps an adjunct his [TS]

01:19:47   brother actually was the truth is he was [TS]

01:19:49   the musical director few things that are [TS]

01:19:51   true blues brothers [TS]

01:19:52   yeah uh I mean the pulsipher who knows [TS]

01:19:55   Paul Shaffer probably has an aluminum [TS]

01:19:57   heart I'm a tie on Katie buzz [TS]