Roderick on the Line

Ep. 44: "The Story of Lola"


00:00:00   throw that John i literally ah oh god [TS]

00:00:13   it's early here recording from a [TS]

00:00:15   different room does it sound different [TS]

00:00:18   well excepting accepting the echo i [TS]

00:00:21   would now I would expect that it sounds [TS]

00:00:24   like you might be passed testing except [TS]

00:00:27   through your bowels [TS]

00:00:28   oh no no I was thinking that you were [TS]

00:00:30   hearing my head reverb know it's the [TS]

00:00:35   same at the same great taste in the same [TS]

00:00:38   great room my leather my red leather [TS]

00:00:41   chair it so i have a red leather a [TS]

00:00:44   swivel chair that rock that rocks and is [TS]

00:00:48   on wheels and i'm sitting at a sitting [TS]

00:00:53   at a table that i found on the street [TS]

00:00:55   and you know i'm sure you're nothing if [TS]

00:00:59   not eclectic em eclectic and collecting [TS]

00:01:02   now now when you I don't miserable [TS]

00:01:04   little personal but i understand that [TS]

00:01:06   sometimes sometimes you do recording [TS]

00:01:08   your altogether that's right that's [TS]

00:01:10   right in fact that would be the case [TS]

00:01:11   right now [TS]

00:01:12   oh dear dear dear it's a it's a warm day [TS]

00:01:16   and i am i am not even bothering with a [TS]

00:01:18   sheet or a towel that's what I was gonna [TS]

00:01:20   ask you do you get stuck to the seat [TS]

00:01:22   no no there's nothing that my uh that my [TS]

00:01:26   natural form likes more than a little [TS]

00:01:30   bit of leather super warm leather be so [TS]

00:01:36   glad when falls here [TS]

00:01:37   yeah well in that when it's winter i'm [TS]

00:01:40   often bundled up in a parker and also [TS]

00:01:44   leather leather leather pocket but [TS]

00:01:48   better [TS]

00:01:49   I just like two miles away from an 80s [TS]

00:01:52   metal man up la vaca but it's a it's a [TS]

00:01:57   beautiful day here it's warm it's [TS]

00:01:59   morning [TS]

00:02:00   it's a warm morning you sound like you [TS]

00:02:03   sound like the late red barber [TS]

00:02:05   good morning edition come on Cano needed [TS]

00:02:08   him seated nude in a red leather chair [TS]

00:02:10   the great battle of lumen-a [TS]

00:02:13   no that's fantastic and so I mean just [TS]

00:02:17   for listeners who may be coming in a [TS]

00:02:19   little late on this you are you're a [TS]

00:02:22   lair late riser and you're late go to [TS]

00:02:24   sleep / think that's correct [TS]

00:02:26   I i do not like to go to sleep at night [TS]

00:02:30   that expose you [TS]

00:02:32   I just I don't find it so I do not find [TS]

00:02:35   going to sleep at night it's just not a [TS]

00:02:38   thing that's on my to-do list and so [TS]

00:02:41   when one night comes I get busy and then [TS]

00:02:44   hides often it often then is morning [TS]

00:02:47   before i realized that i forgot to do [TS]

00:02:50   something which is going to sleep [TS]

00:02:52   oh it's morning and I forgot to go to [TS]

00:02:54   sleep now do you do i do you work on any [TS]

00:02:57   of your little projects or larger [TS]

00:02:59   projects around the house is that that's [TS]

00:03:00   that's really when you get his team on [TS]

00:03:02   is a better after the Sun Goes Down [TS]

00:03:03   that's when john comes alive [TS]

00:03:04   that's right but then once i am asleep I [TS]

00:03:08   really don't want to wake up [TS]

00:03:09   I don't want to get up and often morning [TS]

00:03:12   will turn to day and afternoon and then [TS]

00:03:16   afternoon will turn to evening and i [TS]

00:03:19   will i'll roll over in bed and I'll say [TS]

00:03:21   don't forget to do something I forgot to [TS]

00:03:24   wake up and so I'm always chasing I [TS]

00:03:27   think I feel like the problem is that [TS]

00:03:29   the the earth is on a 24-hour cycle and [TS]

00:03:33   i am on a 27 and a half hour cycle you [TS]

00:03:37   know this is a thing so it is i've read [TS]

00:03:40   about this turns out there that actually [TS]

00:03:42   each of us does have a different [TS]

00:03:45   everybody's always thought about [TS]

00:03:46   different people need different amounts [TS]

00:03:48   of sleep but there's been this you know [TS]

00:03:52   assumption all along that it's based on [TS]

00:03:54   a 24-hour clock and one reason we're all [TS]

00:03:57   screwed up because a lot of reasons [TS]

00:03:58   we're all screwed up because it was [TS]

00:04:00   asleep in particular but is that is that [TS]

00:04:02   some people are on a slightly different [TS]

00:04:04   clock and there's all kinds of things we [TS]

00:04:06   have to do with light it with food and [TS]

00:04:09   with consistency and I no light food and [TS]

00:04:11   consistency have have some role in your [TS]

00:04:13   life but the United consistency of my [TS]

00:04:15   accounts [TS]

00:04:16   hmm [TS]

00:04:19   that said that sounds like awfully and [TS]

00:04:21   awfully Caucasian set of accounts they [TS]

00:04:23   really are [TS]

00:04:24   they're all Norwegians ya know I believe [TS]

00:04:28   that if I every day if I had four more [TS]

00:04:32   hours in addition to the 24 hours that I [TS]

00:04:35   was allotted if there were four more [TS]

00:04:37   hours that I could do with what i would [TS]

00:04:39   but i would i would have no problem [TS]

00:04:42   interacting with the rest of the world I [TS]

00:04:43   would be I'd be one of those people that [TS]

00:04:44   gets up and goes out dressed in a [TS]

00:04:47   button-down shirt and you know goes and [TS]

00:04:51   does multi-level marketing or whatever [TS]

00:04:52   it is that normal people do the video [TS]

00:04:55   part is you can do multi-level marketing [TS]

00:04:57   right from your red chair [TS]

00:04:59   well right except i don't i don't have [TS]

00:05:01   the four hours a day to a lot to it to [TS]

00:05:03   wear because with multi-level marketing [TS]

00:05:06   have to be really committed [TS]

00:05:07   yeah what you get out of it what you put [TS]

00:05:09   into it right I'll absolutely i think it [TS]

00:05:11   starts out as something that's as simple [TS]

00:05:13   as a part-time income use but then by [TS]

00:05:15   the time you're done you've got you've [TS]

00:05:16   got you've got a secret lover this very [TS]

00:05:18   high maintenance and really you're right [TS]

00:05:20   garbage in garbage out you know I might [TS]

00:05:22   have every time effort and money out so [TS]

00:05:25   yeah extra that extra four hours one [TS]

00:05:27   time ok I've been awake for 20 hours and [TS]

00:05:30   I feel good but now i need eight hours [TS]

00:05:32   of sleep so yeah he's a little work [TS]

00:05:35   ping-pong it's like you've been gypped [TS]

00:05:36   because you you've got a clock that [TS]

00:05:38   works for you [TS]

00:05:39   it's just a little up in Roman you got [TS]

00:05:40   you that Rome you got out you gotta let [TS]

00:05:45   me get a little bell for that one [TS]

00:05:46   thank you I like that I like that are [TS]

00:05:48   doing well [TS]

00:05:49   oh yeah just yeah um the the nobody okay [TS]

00:05:57   I'm gonna find this article for you [TS]

00:05:59   because it's a really good article and [TS]

00:06:00   this there's actually there's a term for [TS]

00:06:01   this it has to do with something like [TS]

00:06:02   with as socials sleep debt and all kinds [TS]

00:06:07   of problems one of the problems is like [TS]

00:06:08   we sit around in the dark all day and [TS]

00:06:10   we're not getting enough of the sunlight [TS]

00:06:12   that tells our body that that you know [TS]

00:06:14   that it's time to go to sleep wake up [TS]

00:06:16   and I asked specifically about people [TS]

00:06:17   with basement dungeons or why is [TS]

00:06:20   everyone sitting around for you mean in [TS]

00:06:22   the dark in the sense that we know but [TS]

00:06:23   here its courses they called a vicious [TS]

00:06:25   circle and in in psychology and [TS]

00:06:27   neuroscience and Germany Littlefoot is [TS]

00:06:29   what is visit circlejerk circle [TS]

00:06:32   I send the poop goes in the poop goes [TS]

00:06:35   out there's no end in sight i need for [TS]

00:06:37   extra hours [TS]

00:06:38   oh and inside I need fear of your ma [TS]

00:06:40   Stockton is Artemis oxen scheisse but I [TS]

00:06:45   you know here's the problem i think the [TS]

00:06:47   reason a lot of people go into a [TS]

00:06:48   detention don't come out the clock [TS]

00:06:49   seasonal affective disorder so you know [TS]

00:06:51   some people get sad their dungeons in [TS]

00:06:53   the winter if you've got the right [TS]

00:06:54   amount of UV lighting and you can all [TS]

00:06:56   the other thing is like you never get [TS]

00:06:58   jet lag if you do that right if you [TS]

00:06:59   change the way that you eat a little bit [TS]

00:07:01   before you fly you change your lighting [TS]

00:07:02   now I think somebody spends a lot of [TS]

00:07:04   time in a dungeon whether by choice or [TS]

00:07:06   otherwise probably doesn't travel a lot [TS]

00:07:08   some people go into dungeons and don't [TS]

00:07:10   come out because they're Austrian father [TS]

00:07:12   takes them down there and seal the door [TS]

00:07:15   because their mutant or or just because [TS]

00:07:17   that's what daddy likes you well because [TS]

00:07:19   daddy is bad daddy's a bad that he has a [TS]

00:07:21   you that he has to keep you clean in the [TS]

00:07:22   world is their God is a bad time to read [TS]

00:07:24   the Bible that's right daddy what daddy [TS]

00:07:27   is going to come down and visit you hard [TS]

00:07:30   yeah oh yeah [TS]

00:07:31   explain your dish you don't go like um [TS]

00:07:35   yeah my boy was just just so many [TS]

00:07:39   handles on this suitcase [TS]

00:07:40   um but you know what the thing is I then [TS]

00:07:43   now according to this thing that i read [TS]

00:07:45   i probably won't be able to find that [TS]

00:07:46   the eating is a big part of it to that [TS]

00:07:48   on a lot of your body is regulated and [TS]

00:07:50   the the example I remember this guy [TS]

00:07:51   giving is one problem with jet lag is it [TS]

00:07:53   is a multi-faceted problem that involves [TS]

00:07:55   involves involves your brain involved [TS]

00:07:57   several parts of your brain like there's [TS]

00:07:58   a party of pregnancies light there's a [TS]

00:08:00   part of your brain that knows how long [TS]

00:08:01   it's been since you've eaten and you get [TS]

00:08:03   this jetlag comes out of this dissonance [TS]

00:08:05   from all these different forces fighting [TS]

00:08:07   with each other so your you know your [TS]

00:08:09   your your body may be in France while [TS]

00:08:12   your liver is still over the Atlantic [TS]

00:08:14   and you know and your bed is back there [TS]

00:08:18   in nine Seattle here's what i ate [TS]

00:08:21   yesterday [TS]

00:08:21   okay i'm gonna write this down I had one [TS]

00:08:23   entire pot of coffee [TS]

00:08:26   ok I had a peanut butter and jelly [TS]

00:08:28   sandwich anyway I'm sorry I'm just [TS]

00:08:31   catching up one pot of coffee now you [TS]

00:08:33   know a lot of people to see what they [TS]

00:08:33   got a cup of coffee they don't mean an [TS]

00:08:35   actual cup when you say pot you don't [TS]

00:08:37   mean like a terrine you mean like a mr. [TS]

00:08:38   coffee style mr. coffee stout 12-cup [TS]

00:08:41   yeah well she had 12 coffee cups of [TS]

00:08:44   coffee [TS]

00:08:45   whatever if you can put 12 cups of [TS]

00:08:47   coffee and a mr. coffee pot I don't know [TS]

00:08:50   I've never tried but whatever that mr. [TS]

00:08:51   Thomas just just for reference most most [TS]

00:08:54   caught drip coffee makers are either 10 [TS]

00:08:55   or 12 cup models right I've mine is a [TS]

00:08:58   10-cup model that's good you're showing [TS]

00:08:59   restraint [TS]

00:09:00   so I had one of those SE question was it [TS]

00:09:03   hot while you're drinking this wasn't [TS]

00:09:04   over the course of a day it was tough [TS]

00:09:06   but was before it all burned off you [TS]

00:09:07   drink you drink 10 cups of coffee at a [TS]

00:09:10   city that is your does your coffeemaker [TS]

00:09:13   it Bruce so hot that over the course of [TS]

00:09:15   the day it burns off like a like a gas [TS]

00:09:17   floor i'm sorry Boyle I'm so sorry its [TS]

00:09:21   you get a little flame on the top it [TS]

00:09:23   looks like very blade runner wall we [TS]

00:09:28   have a Tyrell coffeemaker it's got giant [TS]

00:09:29   glasses and now [TS]

00:09:31   alright so then I had a peanut butters [TS]

00:09:33   and how's your gates and so-and-so but [TS]

00:09:35   the thing is if you don't you know why [TS]

00:09:36   they make that little lady thing part of [TS]

00:09:38   the reason for the lady thing is if it [TS]

00:09:39   sits on the burner now we have a really [TS]

00:09:41   nice cuisinart where you can keep it at [TS]

00:09:43   low medium or high heat on the in the [TS]

00:09:46   keep the craft warm but the thing is as [TS]

00:09:48   you know from working in restaurants in [TS]

00:09:49   that coffee sits too long like you know [TS]

00:09:51   in your case you go into a bar [TS]

00:09:53   sure it's all burning and you get your [TS]

00:09:54   coffee and you're going to go in and and [TS]

00:09:57   please go fucking make the coffee now [TS]

00:09:59   oh I've been drinking coffee out of gas [TS]

00:10:01   stations and but in the American desert [TS]

00:10:04   Southwest for 25 years I know from [TS]

00:10:07   coffee that's been sitting for you know [TS]

00:10:09   from coffee from 44 days [TS]

00:10:12   this is a 7-11 i'm actually a strangely [TS]

00:10:14   a fan of the entire 7-eleven coffee [TS]

00:10:16   experience I like it all fucking stem to [TS]

00:10:18   stern [TS]

00:10:19   nobody puts token you ever give drop a [TS]

00:10:21   stoke stoke stoke you know you get this [TS]

00:10:24   little shitty creamers because they're [TS]

00:10:25   too cheap to put on a giant thing a [TS]

00:10:26   half-and-half yeah of course you little [TS]

00:10:27   shit creamers you get low chic rumors of [TS]

00:10:29   like french vanilla got I don't use [TS]

00:10:31   flavored find that in the eye [TS]

00:10:34   like what like strawberry vanilla fuck [TS]

00:10:36   that bottom there's these little and you [TS]

00:10:38   get a little half and half that is all [TS]

00:10:39   that stuff city coffee that's presented [TS]

00:10:41   at a certain point at a certain point [TS]

00:10:43   someone internet introduce my dad to [TS]

00:10:45   international coffee [TS]

00:10:47   yeah America little canned hams [TS]

00:10:50   international coffee and i think that's [TS]

00:10:52   supposed to sit around and enjoy that [TS]

00:10:54   with elderly friends and it was like [TS]

00:10:55   Swiss flavored or something where it was [TS]

00:10:58   it's like Switzer it tastes like [TS]

00:11:00   Switzerland attendance office as a third [TS]

00:11:02   and timely and my dad would every once [TS]

00:11:04   in a while when friends would come over [TS]

00:11:06   it you know he would be like I'm gonna [TS]

00:11:08   make you guys some sissy coffee this is [TS]

00:11:10   my dad before he became an old man and [TS]

00:11:12   he had a he had a full full voice I'm [TS]

00:11:15   gonna make You Suzie coffee and he'd go [TS]

00:11:16   make this french coffee that's that [TS]

00:11:18   tastes like chocolate Swiss chocolate [TS]

00:11:21   oh my god city coffee and so you get [TS]

00:11:24   those little you get those little the [TS]

00:11:26   shitty little creamers we don't have to [TS]

00:11:28   refrigerate them yet what's a stoat i [TS]

00:11:30   think it's called Stoke with within oh [TS]

00:11:33   you know the bar over the old like a [TS]

00:11:34   long ago but imagine and I'm just saying [TS]

00:11:37   first of all the striking nuts because [TS]

00:11:38   i'm a big dreamer [TS]

00:11:40   I get a lot of our big cream i get i get [TS]

00:11:42   a larger coffee then I need and then I I [TS]

00:11:46   talk about him [TS]

00:11:47   yeah like I like a real blonde no sugar [TS]

00:11:49   now imagine one of those stupid little [TS]

00:11:50   cream bullets now imagine a black cream [TS]

00:11:54   bullet but a date no cream in there [TS]

00:11:56   buddy [TS]

00:11:57   it's caffeine it's a shot of caffeine [TS]

00:12:00   and they say right now they warn your [TS]

00:12:01   right on there right [TS]

00:12:04   don't use more than one of these a day [TS]

00:12:06   and so you have you can buy them at a [TS]

00:12:08   7-eleven but you don't buy them they're [TS]

00:12:10   sitting right there by the coffee [TS]

00:12:11   what who you kidding me yeah so there's [TS]

00:12:15   like you so you go if it's like we have [TS]

00:12:16   thought you'd better keep the junkies [TS]

00:12:18   from just living there [TS]

00:12:19   well i think i think the guys just sweep [TS]

00:12:21   them out of there sometimes [TS]

00:12:22   no you come in there and the thing is [TS]

00:12:23   the thing about a 7-eleven like a good [TS]

00:12:25   like McDonald's if it's busy it's gonna [TS]

00:12:27   be good busy 7-eleven they're making a [TS]

00:12:29   lot of coffee now I'm like a crazy [TS]

00:12:30   person when I took a call from someone i [TS]

00:12:32   see if i look for all the fullest latest [TS]

00:12:34   pots I sniff each one of them if it's [TS]

00:12:37   too accurate and better i turn it away [TS]

00:12:38   right leave it leave it and everything I [TS]

00:12:42   go grab a Stoke i drop that and I top it [TS]

00:12:44   off i'm not really going anywhere with [TS]

00:12:45   this except to say that this is you need [TS]

00:12:47   to go to 7-11 they do still have the [TS]

00:12:49   pump chili we as far as our listeners [TS]

00:12:51   have told us and the cheese because i [TS]

00:12:54   haven't used to 7-11 a long time you [TS]

00:12:55   know all the 7-eleven are owned by seeks [TS]

00:12:58   now huh yeah so and i love and [TS]

00:13:03   appreciate the sikh people right right [TS]

00:13:05   that's different than the Sufis yeah [TS]

00:13:07   very different but i have not you know I [TS]

00:13:09   I kind of got off the slurpee train at a [TS]

00:13:11   certain [TS]

00:13:11   i went there and i have not gotten back [TS]

00:13:12   on well we are we a every sunday morning [TS]

00:13:15   we go for a daughter breakfast we can [TS]

00:13:17   hurry i don't get there and so yeah I [TS]

00:13:20   get a giant iced coffees I don't like [TS]

00:13:21   the coffee at the place we eat breakfast [TS]

00:13:23   actually bring a lot of our own stuff [TS]

00:13:24   the last time we went to breakfast at [TS]

00:13:26   this place would call an Irish Breakfast [TS]

00:13:27   you going in i get i get a mixed grill [TS]

00:13:29   much moment but is that a one raw potato [TS]

00:13:31   and a beer at its finest [TS]

00:13:33   it's a big tits ever tell you about the [TS]

00:13:37   mixed grill then I get every sunday [TS]

00:13:38   morning [TS]

00:13:39   yes I told you about it i think so it's [TS]

00:13:42   a pork chop its liver it's uh Irish [TS]

00:13:45   Irish bacon irish sausage two eggs [TS]

00:13:49   potatoes and grilled tomato and grilled [TS]

00:13:51   mushrooms it is the restaurant that is [TS]

00:13:54   the restaurant where you in 1954 tickets [TS]

00:13:57   call Jo cholesterol Lord who where do [TS]

00:14:00   you go that serves liver for breakfast [TS]

00:14:02   on a bus fights it's an irish restaurant [TS]

00:14:05   my god oh my god I'm gonna take us they [TS]

00:14:07   got they've got like you know there's [TS]

00:14:09   this Irishman Irish Breakfast role [TS]

00:14:11   basically it's all like regular free to [TS]

00:14:13   put Irish in front of it [TS]

00:14:14   okay an Irish coffee that's a whole [TS]

00:14:16   different thing you can't hear that well [TS]

00:14:17   that's has booze i doubt but event at [TS]

00:14:19   any rate we bring a lot of our own stuff [TS]

00:14:20   I don't like their silverware I don't [TS]

00:14:22   like their coffee I don't like the water [TS]

00:14:23   and so we go in there with a bag so I i [TS]

00:14:26   put before the other day of my daughter [TS]

00:14:27   night this place withdrawn x-men you [TS]

00:14:29   know logos and and so I bring in a large [TS]

00:14:31   coffee from 7-eleven at donut for her i [TS]

00:14:33   bring my own knife i bring a leather man [TS]

00:14:35   because i don't like their knives i [TS]

00:14:37   bring bendy straws for her becoming over [TS]

00:14:39   the whole package because i don't like [TS]

00:14:41   anything about it except the next girl [TS]

00:14:42   anyway so you had a product you have one [TS]

00:14:44   pot of coffee now the peanut butter and [TS]

00:14:46   jelly what's worked what kind of bread [TS]

00:14:47   what kind of jelly [TS]

00:14:48   well I I you know I do a raspberry jelly [TS]

00:14:52   exclusively not Jam not a jammer amount [TS]

00:14:55   of jam raspberry jelly M&A a oh you know [TS]

00:14:57   what i'll use a jam and I cannot you [TS]

00:15:00   understand you understand I marmalade [TS]

00:15:01   right [TS]

00:15:02   I don't do I don't use a marmalade [TS]

00:15:03   because their starters I don't want [TS]

00:15:04   orange in my sandwich isn't strictly for [TS]

00:15:08   the continental breakfast at the days [TS]

00:15:10   inn Chris here's the thing about orange [TS]

00:15:12   leave it alone leave you know like leave [TS]

00:15:16   it in the orange the analyzing don't [TS]

00:15:18   don't take the orange out of an orange [TS]

00:15:20   and put it on a cake he like an orange [TS]

00:15:23   juice because that's just the juice from [TS]

00:15:25   that's just an orange that's turned into [TS]

00:15:26   juice i have a strong position on mixing [TS]

00:15:28   to get things into something fucked-up [TS]

00:15:30   Christmas porn take longer sleep [TS]

00:15:32   Christmas alone Leon Hall Christmas born [TS]

00:15:34   is great sport some terrible like that i [TS]

00:15:37   play Santa Claus every year so i am able [TS]

00:15:39   to get in to the character there's one [TS]

00:15:42   particular felt if you weighed myself in [TS]

00:15:45   it to desperately cute girl sitting on [TS]

00:15:47   your lap these on your mom's [TS]

00:15:48   refrigerator [TS]

00:15:49   there are many many many photos of me [TS]

00:15:51   with desperately cute girls sitting on [TS]

00:15:53   my lap dressed as Santa Claus and so [TS]

00:15:55   when I see Christmas born I'm like I can [TS]

00:15:57   identify with this I am Santa in this is [TS]

00:16:00   like unlike most porn but where you may [TS]

00:16:02   not have a beer can cock like you really [TS]

00:16:05   can put your stuff literally in that [TS]

00:16:06   position [TS]

00:16:07   that's right have you ever leverage [TS]

00:16:08   Santa how do you mean how do you think I [TS]

00:16:11   mean well there's a group of there's a [TS]

00:16:14   group of girls here in Seattle because [TS]

00:16:16   it is the northwest who have mixed [TS]

00:16:19   burlesque and elves selfishness Alvin [TS]

00:16:26   dumb they have missed their last night [TS]

00:16:28   there they have missed mixed burlesque [TS]

00:16:30   and Elvin and he's like to tattoo chunky [TS]

00:16:33   girls with players oh you got it they [TS]

00:16:36   got 18 years they got 20 years and they [TS]

00:16:38   come to the songs optic Spock when I [TS]

00:16:40   play Santa at Christmastime these girls [TS]

00:16:44   come and are my dirt my dirty little [TS]

00:16:48   elbows and there are often eight to 12 [TS]

00:16:52   of them did you see dirty little elves [TS]

00:16:54   right I did I may have to rescind my [TS]

00:16:56   feeling on Christmas port and they went [TS]

00:16:59   with so people that the biggest people [TS]

00:17:01   come and sit on my lap and have their [TS]

00:17:02   picture taken in the dirty little elves [TS]

00:17:03   gather around but when you know what but [TS]

00:17:07   it's it's often like an indie-rock event [TS]

00:17:09   where where people are shy about coming [TS]

00:17:11   and sitting on my lap like they're [TS]

00:17:12   they're standing over there and they've [TS]

00:17:14   got their creeper lagoon t-shirt on and [TS]

00:17:17   they've got their you know their little [TS]

00:17:19   tattoo of a bird right there like I want [TS]

00:17:22   to go sit on his lap but i don't know i [TS]

00:17:24   don't know should I I don't know there's [TS]

00:17:26   a cool i don't know and in that period [TS]

00:17:28   while those people are making up their [TS]

00:17:30   mind the dirty little elves will take [TS]

00:17:33   turns sitting on my lap and having their [TS]

00:17:35   picture taken and invariably [TS]

00:17:37   they want to bend over Santa's lap and [TS]

00:17:39   have him give them a paddling [TS]

00:17:41   oh come on and then it goes from there [TS]

00:17:44   it's like Christmas every day it's [TS]

00:17:47   really part of the you know I'm getting [TS]

00:17:48   in the holiday spirit right now just [TS]

00:17:50   sitting here I red leather chair [TS]

00:17:53   I'm glad it's not Christmas because I [TS]

00:17:55   cannot stand up right now [TS]

00:17:56   yeah oh my goodness anyway back to the [TS]

00:17:59   coffee so what I decided to start easy [TS]

00:18:01   tax so you're telling me that that's a [TS]

00:18:02   serving suggestion you get you get you [TS]

00:18:05   get a girl with with oversized glasses [TS]

00:18:06   and a berth tattoo and you fucking [TS]

00:18:08   spanker in a bar and that's a fucking [TS]

00:18:10   serving suggestion people in the [TS]

00:18:11   audience say some settling may occur [TS]

00:18:14   come on i can get that I can get that [TS]

00:18:16   she looks fine she looks happy there [TS]

00:18:18   there's a there's a handsome young gay [TS]

00:18:22   couple here in Seattle who met for the [TS]

00:18:25   first time they are now married they met [TS]

00:18:27   for the first time sitting on my lap [TS]

00:18:28   both the time when I was dressed as [TS]

00:18:31   Santa yeah they want another yeah you're [TS]

00:18:33   changing lives [TS]

00:18:34   yeah yeah this I've been doing this [TS]

00:18:35   santa gift for many years and it's been [TS]

00:18:37   a it's been a real i have to say every [TS]

00:18:40   year I'm like as I'm put it on my by [TS]

00:18:43   your spanking mine by Santa costume that [TS]

00:18:46   looks like the one the DAC word Warren [TS]

00:18:49   Trading Places there's actually like a [TS]

00:18:51   salmon I've been everywhere pants could [TS]

00:18:53   stand up by themselves as I'm pulling on [TS]

00:18:56   like I got am I really doing this [TS]

00:18:58   fucking santa thing again and then I [TS]

00:18:59   show up at the at the bar the advantage [TS]

00:19:01   wherever place is full of people there [TS]

00:19:04   are like eight to twelve dirty little [TS]

00:19:06   elves there's your face of second and it [TS]

00:19:09   invariably like that that the the [TS]

00:19:12   delightful young gay couple who who [TS]

00:19:14   married after meeting on my lap and I [TS]

00:19:16   just feel like ah right Santa's home [TS]

00:19:18   below everyone talking about a North [TS]

00:19:22   Pole somebody be a pot of coffee and has [TS]

00:19:26   a sidebar and Medicare can I can I ask [TS]

00:19:28   you if to the extent possible can you [TS]

00:19:30   help me scare up some photographs of [TS]

00:19:32   that [TS]

00:19:32   oh my goodness yes i have because i want [TS]

00:19:34   to photoshop my switch up its up into i [TS]

00:19:37   have in spades directly little elves or [TS]

00:19:39   anything actually kind of little ah [TS]

00:19:41   there are other statuesque ones [TS]

00:19:44   here's the thing about burlesque girls [TS]

00:19:47   they come in many many shapes and sizes [TS]

00:19:50   and they're all wonderful who and in in [TS]

00:19:57   the case of the something really joyful [TS]

00:19:59   about it [TS]

00:20:00   there really isn't in the case of the [TS]

00:20:02   the ones at the downtown Portland which [TS]

00:20:04   has a much larger actual stripper [TS]

00:20:07   culture the burlesque because important [TS]

00:20:10   has a strip clubs where Seattle really [TS]

00:20:12   doesn't remember [TS]

00:20:14   yeah I know portland burlesque girls are [TS]

00:20:18   coming at it from a different place [TS]

00:20:21   they're much more it's it feels much [TS]

00:20:23   more professional down there in seattle [TS]

00:20:26   the burlesque scenes are uh I i would [TS]

00:20:31   characterize them as enthusiasts they [TS]

00:20:35   are often girls who are not coming have [TS]

00:20:38   never stripped are not coming at it from [TS]

00:20:40   a like this is you know this is my gig [TS]

00:20:43   yeah a minute there I I've got a pile of [TS]

00:20:46   an enthusiastic amateur yeah they're [TS]

00:20:48   coming at it from a like oh my god i [TS]

00:20:50   made this great costume and now i'm [TS]

00:20:53   going to like take half of it off and [TS]

00:20:55   you go [TS]

00:20:56   this is wonderful it's a wonderful time [TS]

00:20:57   to be alive I support this hundred [TS]

00:21:00   percent so we talk about Portland [TS]

00:21:01   stripper culture and now are these are [TS]

00:21:03   these girls pros I mean are they doing [TS]

00:21:05   it as their primary is it means of woman [TS]

00:21:08   empowerment or is it a way to make a [TS]

00:21:10   buck or both I mean are they playing [TS]

00:21:11   heavens to Betsy while there while [TS]

00:21:12   they're dancing or how does that work [TS]

00:21:14   my survey of the strippers of portland [TS]

00:21:17   is incomplete [TS]

00:21:17   I have to say I have it's a bit it's [TS]

00:21:20   been it's been hit-or-miss survey but [TS]

00:21:22   but but largely anecdotal this is one of [TS]

00:21:25   the things about about Seattle Portland [TS]

00:21:27   and San Francisco that people who live [TS]

00:21:29   elsewhere may not realize which is that [TS]

00:21:31   until very recently within living memory [TS]

00:21:36   all three of those cities were were [TS]

00:21:38   disgusting seaports full of human [TS]

00:21:43   flotsam and rats piled up garbage and [TS]

00:21:49   like the last dregs of hippie culture [TS]

00:21:52   rednecks [TS]

00:21:54   and some sailors from Indonesia who got [TS]

00:21:59   you know shanghaied and then kicked off [TS]

00:22:01   the boat on the west coast in all cases [TS]

00:22:04   much more at the heart of that blue blue [TS]

00:22:06   collar culture absolutely blue-collar [TS]

00:22:09   towns there was no there was no a [TS]

00:22:11   computer industry the the arts were much [TS]

00:22:18   more regional and the all three of those [TS]

00:22:21   cities made a living from the ocean [TS]

00:22:23   primarily and then to a lesser degree [TS]

00:22:26   the forests and the surrounding farms [TS]

00:22:30   but there was I mean Seattle head bowing [TS]

00:22:32   San Francisco obviously had you know a [TS]

00:22:36   more vibrant economy Portland had [TS]

00:22:38   nothing Portland had had lumber mills [TS]

00:22:42   and that was pretty much it so easy [TS]

00:22:48   not only when I was a kid but up into my [TS]

00:22:50   teen years in early twenties all three [TS]

00:22:52   of these cities were unsafe unfriendly [TS]

00:22:55   uncool dangerous scary murdering like [TS]

00:23:02   shit holes perched on the edge of the [TS]

00:23:04   world and nobody thought that the west [TS]

00:23:06   coast was a a good place to be and it [TS]

00:23:09   you know like Los Angeles of course was [TS]

00:23:11   its own version of this except in place [TS]

00:23:14   of trees it was you know prostitution [TS]

00:23:16   and and Judaism [TS]

00:23:20   but in the last 20 years all three of [TS]

00:23:23   these cities have reformed Seattle has [TS]

00:23:26   cleaned up it incredibly if you came [TS]

00:23:29   if you were transported from 20 years [TS]

00:23:31   ago in seattle to present day he would [TS]

00:23:33   recognize that all the city has become a [TS]

00:23:35   giant mall we pushed everything bad out [TS]

00:23:40   and replaced it with just like the most [TS]

00:23:44   banal sort of cotton candy culture and [TS]

00:23:48   that is happening that's obviously [TS]

00:23:49   happened in San Francisco to a large [TS]

00:23:51   degree although the mission continues to [TS]

00:23:53   be what it is the mission continues to [TS]

00:23:57   be disgusting in a way that there is no [TS]

00:23:59   longer a mission in seattle and there [TS]

00:24:01   once was but Portland in its way has has [TS]

00:24:07   it has maintained at its core a kind of [TS]

00:24:13   darkness that all the all the new condo [TS]

00:24:18   buildings and all the young people [TS]

00:24:20   moving there to start techno bands [TS]

00:24:22   cannot displace the fact that the center [TS]

00:24:25   of the heart of Portland there is a [TS]

00:24:28   greasy bald man with a comb-over paying [TS]

00:24:32   for sex with a 15 year old runaway that [TS]

00:24:37   is at the center of Portland soul and I [TS]

00:24:41   don't think with all the fire hoses in [TS]

00:24:43   the world you could push those two into [TS]

00:24:45   the river like they are they are there [TS]

00:24:48   and i don't know what it will take to [TS]

00:24:49   exercise that from from Portland's heart [TS]

00:24:52   um so anyway when I see what I see [TS]

00:24:55   anyone engaged in like sex games in [TS]

00:25:02   portland burlesque or stripping or you [TS]

00:25:07   know a anything anything involving like [TS]

00:25:10   women dancing for money I i feel it's [TS]

00:25:14   all it's always more professional and by [TS]

00:25:17   that i mean like harder-edged and darker [TS]

00:25:21   and based on there like a I ran away I [TS]

00:25:24   ran away from home I ran away from my [TS]

00:25:27   stepfather and i ended up here type of [TS]

00:25:29   type of vibe whereas [TS]

00:25:32   a lot of that is gone from Seattle and [TS]

00:25:33   it's and it's gone from here because of [TS]

00:25:35   a paternalistic city culture where [TS]

00:25:37   they're like we don't want you know like [TS]

00:25:38   you can't drink in a strip club here you [TS]

00:25:41   you have to go into a strip club and if [TS]

00:25:44   they want to keep yer yeah you have to [TS]

00:25:46   buy a ten-dollar coke you know to sit in [TS]

00:25:49   a strip club here and it's a [TS]

00:25:51   twenty-dollar cover to get in the door [TS]

00:25:53   and all this stuff and and and by [TS]

00:25:54   imposing these kind of like rules they [TS]

00:25:58   just pushed every every strip club out [TS]

00:26:00   of town except for like the three or [TS]

00:26:02   four that that are the three or four [TS]

00:26:05   that are here just for those guys that [TS]

00:26:07   are like come on I'll pay I'll pay I'll [TS]

00:26:09   buy a twenty-dollar code i just want to [TS]

00:26:11   see some girls boobs right and so there [TS]

00:26:14   are there you know there are half a [TS]

00:26:15   dozen here but they don't have that [TS]

00:26:16   raucous spirit in the strip clubs in [TS]

00:26:19   Alaska [TS]

00:26:20   oh boy what we used to i mean when i was [TS]

00:26:23   still a teenager [TS]

00:26:25   meanwhile at the time in the eighties [TS]

00:26:28   the doorman at a club in Alaska his job [TS]

00:26:32   as he saw it as the city saw it there [TS]

00:26:35   was a guy standing there checking IDs [TS]

00:26:37   but his job was just to keep I think his [TS]

00:26:40   job was to keep the Russians out [TS]

00:26:42   I don't know what I don't know what he [TS]

00:26:43   thought his job was to keep the it was [TS]

00:26:45   to keep like Russian sailors from [TS]

00:26:47   invading or something because my friend [TS]

00:26:49   Cal and I were 16 years old and we would [TS]

00:26:52   like we'd sit sit at home and like try [TS]

00:26:55   on different trucker caps looking for [TS]

00:26:57   the one that made us look like 18 and a [TS]

00:26:59   half and we get like would get the right [TS]

00:27:01   costumes on where we felt like we look [TS]

00:27:03   like we look like guys with working guys [TS]

00:27:06   and then we would go downtown and cruise [TS]

00:27:08   the strip clubs and it was that the [TS]

00:27:14   strip clubs of anchors were more of an [TS]

00:27:15   education in human nature for me in i'm [TS]

00:27:18   talking about 1985a 495 I learn more [TS]

00:27:21   about human nature from sneaking into [TS]

00:27:23   strip clubs then from almost any other [TS]

00:27:25   thing I've ever done that's alright [TS]

00:27:26   because from the front of patron tour [TS]

00:27:29   the gals the moment a whole thing you [TS]

00:27:32   know there's so much [TS]

00:27:33   there's so much crazy money in Alaska [TS]

00:27:35   it's in the hands of people could in [TS]

00:27:39   most cases at least at the time didn't [TS]

00:27:42   have a high school education [TS]

00:27:43   and a does the strippers would come from [TS]

00:27:47   all around the world because there are [TS]

00:27:49   guys that are like throwing down five [TS]

00:27:51   six thousand dollars there's like it you [TS]

00:27:54   know there's probably only so many [TS]

00:27:55   places to spend it right i mean isn't it [TS]

00:27:57   isn't like you can go out and I mean [TS]

00:28:00   they don't have like a you know Chucky [TS]

00:28:03   Cheese 444 oil men like there's only [TS]

00:28:05   seven let's chuck e cheese for oil men [TS]

00:28:07   are you kidding this is Alaska but I [TS]

00:28:09   need to learn [TS]

00:28:11   no it's not there i mean they were out [TS]

00:28:13   that a million billion trillion places [TS]

00:28:14   to spend it but the but the situation is [TS]

00:28:17   here's a guy he's 24 years old he is [TS]

00:28:21   from Oklahoma he doesn't have it never [TS]

00:28:24   got a high school diploma but he's got [TS]

00:28:26   his start working on oil rigs in the in [TS]

00:28:28   the Gulf and then he got contracted to [TS]

00:28:31   come up and work on the pipeline and [TS]

00:28:33   they are paying him four times the money [TS]

00:28:35   he was making in Oklahoma but he didn't [TS]

00:28:39   if he was married he didn't bring his [TS]

00:28:40   wife and kids 03 dances are he wasn't [TS]

00:28:43   married because he's working [TS]

00:28:44   eighteen-hour days and then they're [TS]

00:28:47   paying him in cash so when he gets out [TS]

00:28:50   what is he going to spend it on he's not [TS]

00:28:52   going to go to the performing arts [TS]

00:28:53   center right and watch The Nutcracker [TS]

00:28:55   he's going to buy some cooking buy some [TS]

00:28:59   booze go to a strip club and then go to [TS]

00:29:03   a hotel and repeat that until his [TS]

00:29:06   money's gone and of course in the [TS]

00:29:08   eighties that was that was at the peak [TS]

00:29:09   of the salmon fishery to so guys would [TS]

00:29:12   go out for three months on a on a [TS]

00:29:15   fishing boat and come home and have [TS]

00:29:16   fifty sixty thousand dollars in cash my [TS]

00:29:18   god really that much that and they were [TS]

00:29:21   and this book because the fisheries so a [TS]

00:29:23   lot of these guys and my friend Kelly is [TS]

00:29:25   one of them he made 50 grand fishing [TS]

00:29:28   salmon for three years running spend it [TS]

00:29:32   all on on champion of champagne and and [TS]

00:29:34   hookers and then the bottom fell out of [TS]

00:29:37   the fishing the price of salmon just [TS]

00:29:40   plummeted the the government put it all [TS]

00:29:43   these restrictions on who could you can [TS]

00:29:44   just like if you had a motorboat and a [TS]

00:29:47   fishing pole you couldn't just throw out [TS]

00:29:49   a motorboat net you couldn't just go out [TS]

00:29:50   there and take as much time as you want [TS]

00:29:51   it anymore [TS]

00:29:52   and so the bottom fell out and then all [TS]

00:29:55   these guys were suddenly making eight [TS]

00:29:56   thousand dollars in three months where [TS]

00:29:59   they were once making 50 and I when Cal [TS]

00:30:03   was 23 years old the IRS contacted him [TS]

00:30:06   and said us like a hundred and sixteen [TS]

00:30:10   thousand dollars in unpaid taxes [TS]

00:30:12   Wow but the bottom had fallen out of the [TS]

00:30:14   economy up there and he was you know now [TS]

00:30:16   he's making 30,000 a year instead of you [TS]

00:30:20   know a hundred and seventy thousand a [TS]

00:30:22   year and he was paying the IRS back for [TS]

00:30:24   for a decade now and is that but the [TS]

00:30:26   salmon stuff and like BDL stuff that's [TS]

00:30:28   that's pretty hard work right [TS]

00:30:30   oh yeah it's hard work but when you're [TS]

00:30:31   20 years old what else you gonna do [TS]

00:30:33   right now you're working eighteen-hour [TS]

00:30:34   days and you feel like you you could you [TS]

00:30:37   know you're gonna be able to do it [TS]

00:30:37   forever but so i would go into these [TS]

00:30:40   places and you know it at all around the [TS]

00:30:44   world now if you go into a strip club [TS]

00:30:45   they're all these policies like don't [TS]

00:30:47   touch the girls you have to sit back [TS]

00:30:48   here you have to there's you know [TS]

00:30:50   they're kind of big thug buggy guys [TS]

00:30:53   walking around the bar making sure that [TS]

00:30:55   nothing gets out of hand and better [TS]

00:30:57   those rules everybody knows everybody [TS]

00:30:59   knows the rules and everybody plays by [TS]

00:31:00   well in the eighties in Alaska it was [TS]

00:31:03   literally a situation where the girl was [TS]

00:31:05   dancing on the bar and guys were [TS]

00:31:07   grabbing her ankles and light and she [TS]

00:31:11   was i can't i can't imagine that she was [TS]

00:31:15   not a little bit afraid of her but she [TS]

00:31:19   was projecting a kind of confidence of [TS]

00:31:21   like that's right boys you know look [TS]

00:31:24   good [TS]

00:31:26   give it your best shot like if you can [TS]

00:31:29   give you can grab it you can have it [TS]

00:31:30   do your worst you know do your worst and [TS]

00:31:33   you and the bartender is is standing [TS]

00:31:36   right behind her just slinging bottles [TS]

00:31:38   at these guys and you know and he's got [TS]

00:31:40   like a Derringer in his shirt pocket and [TS]

00:31:43   a shotgun on the bar and it's just like [TS]

00:31:45   that that everybody knew the rules then [TS]

00:31:48   too but the rules were the rules were [TS]

00:31:53   like a different just to like if you [TS]

00:31:57   touch the if you if you put your finger [TS]

00:31:58   in the girls poopy please continue with [TS]

00:32:01   the part especially with the shotgun [TS]

00:32:03   and if you uh if you pull out a gun he's [TS]

00:32:07   gonna shoot with a shotgun those were [TS]

00:32:08   like the two rules like don't you pull [TS]

00:32:10   out a gun and don't touch her inner [TS]

00:32:11   don't think they're in the in the beer [TS]

00:32:14   handle paint place but six packing jets [TS]

00:32:19   otherwise it was it was it was a it was [TS]

00:32:23   a free-for-all and and in my experience [TS]

00:32:25   every every of the multiple times that I [TS]

00:32:28   snuck into these places that the person [TS]

00:32:31   in charge of the room and the room was [TS]

00:32:33   absolutely and a lot of cases there was [TS]

00:32:35   no lighting it was just it was just [TS]

00:32:37   fluorescent lights and lookout God [TS]

00:32:40   feeling because a lawful if they were [TS]

00:32:42   they had turned what had formerly been [TS]

00:32:44   like a bingo parlor into a strip club [TS]

00:32:46   and and there were 800 guys in a [TS]

00:32:48   spaceman should have had like 60 guys [TS]

00:32:51   but in every case at least my perception [TS]

00:32:54   the woman was in charge of the room [TS]

00:32:55   there was one visible woman or two [TS]

00:32:58   visible women in the room and they were [TS]

00:33:00   absolutely in charge every guy in the [TS]

00:33:03   room was at their you know if she--if [TS]

00:33:04   she pointed to a guy and she was like [TS]

00:33:06   you get out of here are you gonna take a [TS]

00:33:08   step back like the guy would absolutely [TS]

00:33:10   step do what she said and it was because [TS]

00:33:13   all the other guys in the room would [TS]

00:33:16   enforce her like the patrons would [TS]

00:33:19   enforce the woman's dictum right so if [TS]

00:33:22   she said this guy's of you get this guy [TS]

00:33:25   away from me six guys would grab him and [TS]

00:33:28   he would be gone in an instant [TS]

00:33:30   boy there's there's no there's no [TS]

00:33:31   twenty-dollar bill that's going to [TS]

00:33:32   impress a lady so much as kicking some [TS]

00:33:34   guy's ass [TS]

00:33:35   exactly and that was that was you know [TS]

00:33:36   thats it was it was such an animal [TS]

00:33:38   culture where all these other guys were [TS]

00:33:40   like I'll do that for you lady like a [TS]

00:33:44   very old west kind of kind of five and [TS]

00:33:47   of course I was a big kid but I was so [TS]

00:33:50   terrified in these places I mean ye you [TS]

00:33:52   walk around now and and you think like [TS]

00:33:54   you see these kids with the tattoos on [TS]

00:33:56   their faces are you see that you know [TS]

00:33:58   people that are better they're like [TS]

00:34:00   tough-looking but there's nothing to [TS]

00:34:04   compare to a guy who's been working on [TS]

00:34:07   the North Slope of Alaska or a guy [TS]

00:34:09   that's that's been working out in the in [TS]

00:34:11   the in the ocean up there the kind of [TS]

00:34:14   toughness that they have scariness that [TS]

00:34:16   they that they possessed i would just [TS]

00:34:18   add you know of course i would go right [TS]

00:34:20   to the front because that's how i got [TS]

00:34:22   that's how i do but they were so [TS]

00:34:24   terrifying these men and I was just [TS]

00:34:26   trying to like I square my shoulders off [TS]

00:34:28   was like haha yes I am [TS]

00:34:31   another man here just adding some lady x [TS]

00:34:35   lesbian must be a really weird [TS]

00:34:37   adjustment to go from being around I [TS]

00:34:40   mean it clearly we can see the friction [TS]

00:34:42   as you say uh of a man who spent a lot [TS]

00:34:44   of time in Alaska haven't come back to [TS]

00:34:46   the States but it must be must be really [TS]

00:34:48   jarring to go from that kind of a [TS]

00:34:50   culture to pretty much anywhere else [TS]

00:34:53   I mean it's like being on the frontier [TS]

00:34:54   it's like the Indiana Jones bar [TS]

00:34:56   yeah yeah I took me a couple of years [TS]

00:34:58   after i was down here to moderate my [TS]

00:35:00   voice and my expectations of other [TS]

00:35:03   people and I would walk into a party and [TS]

00:35:05   be like is this what is this party gonna [TS]

00:35:07   go off or what you know and I grabbed [TS]

00:35:09   the hosts father's beer stein and throws [TS]

00:35:12   from window [TS]

00:35:13   yeah you got to establish yourself yeah [TS]

00:35:16   and wouldn't you know everybody would [TS]

00:35:17   just be like and like I would come up [TS]

00:35:20   and say you know you that was my dad's [TS]

00:35:22   beer stein and you owe me fifteen [TS]

00:35:23   hundred dollars [TS]

00:35:24   oh and this party sucks it did it took [TS]

00:35:28   me awhile to to like to Train it in and [TS]

00:35:30   I feel like a lot of guys come out of [TS]

00:35:32   Alaska they come down to the states and [TS]

00:35:34   they can't reign it in or they don't [TS]

00:35:37   want to when they they turn around and [TS]

00:35:39   head back up there because to live like [TS]

00:35:42   that to live in that culture to keep [TS]

00:35:46   that kind of energy going but down here [TS]

00:35:48   in America you have to really be digging [TS]

00:35:51   into like prison culture or whatever you [TS]

00:35:54   have to have to be going to bars where [TS]

00:35:55   everybody there's just recently been [TS]

00:35:57   paroled and up there that's kind of the [TS]

00:36:00   vibe at and Adam let's just say I mean [TS]

00:36:03   not every bar obviously there are fern [TS]

00:36:05   bars in Alaska to but a much larger [TS]

00:36:09   cross-section it's a little like almost [TS]

00:36:11   like a still in Saigon kind of vibe like [TS]

00:36:14   you still you still reaching for your [TS]

00:36:15   rifle in the middle name [TS]

00:36:17   yeah well yeah like that scene in the in [TS]

00:36:21   Deer Hunter where he goes back to [TS]

00:36:24   Vietnam to find [TS]

00:36:26   to find not rutger hauer was his name [TS]

00:36:31   was Christopher Walken Christopher [TS]

00:36:33   Walken it goes back to find Christopher [TS]

00:36:34   Walken these it's in their plane but [TS]

00:36:38   when the so early [TS]

00:36:42   yeah what's the game of Russian roulette [TS]

00:36:44   I time I went there in the the email [TS]

00:36:46   from the d man he it you can cut all [TS]

00:36:51   this out [TS]

00:36:51   no I'm its dynamics I mean I am I am a [TS]

00:36:54   legitimate old-school pussy and I i'm so [TS]

00:36:58   so uncomfortable place like that little [TS]

00:37:00   I mean you know it's important i mean [TS]

00:37:02   yeah i did i ever tell you the story of [TS]

00:37:05   lola i don't think i've ever heard the [TS]

00:37:07   story of lola so I was at one of these [TS]

00:37:09   strip clubs and kelly i had gotten up we [TS]

00:37:13   were up at the at the front so the it's [TS]

00:37:16   a you know the girl is dancing on on the [TS]

00:37:18   table and we'd pushed our way through [TS]

00:37:20   this crowd and gotten so that we were [TS]

00:37:22   sitting at the table not just like not [TS]

00:37:25   just leaning on the table but there we [TS]

00:37:26   we were we were in seats you know what I [TS]

00:37:28   mean like we sweep we rounded up the [TS]

00:37:29   front until some guy left his chair and [TS]

00:37:32   then one of us grabbed a chair and then [TS]

00:37:33   some other guy left his chair and then [TS]

00:37:36   we both had chairs like it was a it was [TS]

00:37:38   that's pretty tight a behavior [TS]

00:37:41   it was quite it was quite an [TS]

00:37:42   accomplishment to be up there sitting in [TS]

00:37:44   chairs and there were guys like falling [TS]

00:37:47   over us from behind pushing their in [TS]

00:37:49   between but we kinda like scrunch [TS]

00:37:52   together and we had this little this [TS]

00:37:54   little block where we were mostly we [TS]

00:37:55   felt mostly safe like okay we're we're [TS]

00:37:58   here we're secure and we're here at the [TS]

00:38:00   at the table and there were girls [TS]

00:38:02   dancing on the table and every time a [TS]

00:38:05   girl would get done dancing you know the [TS]

00:38:06   guys are just throwing money at him what [TS]

00:38:09   it was time for that girl to leave in [TS]

00:38:10   the next girl to come out every guy in [TS]

00:38:12   the bar would start chanting Lola Lola [TS]

00:38:15   Lola Lola and then another girl come out [TS]

00:38:18   she's like I'm not load is what you get [TS]

00:38:20   and everybody go and she danced and [TS]

00:38:24   everybody throw money at her and then [TS]

00:38:25   she leaving everybody [TS]

00:38:26   lolo line and and the next world cup me [TS]

00:38:30   like thank you i'm not a little bit here [TS]

00:38:32   i am [TS]

00:38:33   around take a little pussy well and so [TS]

00:38:36   Kelly and I are sitting at the table [TS]

00:38:38   were like who's this Lola we got to see [TS]

00:38:39   this Lola this [TS]

00:38:40   she's like Lo is the one you know but as [TS]

00:38:45   the evening wears on because we've been [TS]

00:38:47   we've been just chugging beers I have to [TS]

00:38:49   go to the bathroom and and I sit there [TS]

00:38:52   in my chair until I really really really [TS]

00:38:54   really have to go to the bathroom and I [TS]

00:38:58   don't want to get up i don't want first [TS]

00:39:00   of all I don't want to get up and lose [TS]

00:39:01   my chair but also i don't i I'm just 116 [TS]

00:39:06   right I don't want to get up and turn [TS]

00:39:07   around and have somebody in the bar look [TS]

00:39:10   at me and go [TS]

00:39:11   who's that kid get him out of here so [TS]

00:39:14   I'm sitting at the table and I'm like [TS]

00:39:15   I'm sandy Kelly the bathroom and he's [TS]

00:39:18   like well I don't know what to tell you [TS]

00:39:19   like and I after a while I can't hold it [TS]

00:39:23   anymore well we're drinking what they're [TS]

00:39:27   serving in the bar is Mickey's God and [TS]

00:39:31   Mickey's came in a big mouth bottle it [TS]

00:39:33   was called Mickey's big monkey's big [TS]

00:39:35   mouth [TS]

00:39:35   I've had a fear of this and so after a [TS]

00:39:38   while it just to be clear it is it's a [TS]

00:39:39   multi liquor [TS]

00:39:40   it's a ball licker it's a tough that's a [TS]

00:39:42   fortified beverage tells you no don't [TS]

00:39:45   close no no haha that's not going to be [TS]

00:39:48   big enough and so well so so sitting at [TS]

00:39:52   the table and put the mickeys bottle [TS]

00:39:55   under the table and i unzip my fly and I [TS]

00:39:58   start to go pee and make Jesus John and [TS]

00:40:02   there's a girl stripping and right in [TS]

00:40:04   front of me and I'm surrounded by guys [TS]

00:40:06   and I'm but I can't say whether I'm the [TS]

00:40:08   only guy with his dick out in the bar [TS]

00:40:10   but I am definitely like the only 1p in [TS]

00:40:15   a mickeys bottle at least that I can see [TS]

00:40:17   I'm trying to pull it off but generally [TS]

00:40:20   it's your first time I think that's [TS]

00:40:22   right and I fill this Mickey's bottle up [TS]

00:40:24   to the very very room and you're [TS]

00:40:26   absolutely right i have not I there's [TS]

00:40:29   not enough room in the mickeys bottle [TS]

00:40:31   for all of the p.o God and so I'm like [TS]

00:40:34   fuck what do i do another rat fence now [TS]

00:40:38   they're empty Mickey's but I mean the [TS]

00:40:39   bar is just covered with empty bottles [TS]

00:40:41   because this doesn't know Buster right [TS]

00:40:43   you know it's just it's just bottles [TS]

00:40:45   everywhere [TS]

00:40:45   and at that point the girl gets off the [TS]

00:40:50   stage and Lola comes out now i'm sitting [TS]

00:40:55   here with by with my penis out with a [TS]

00:40:58   bottle up a bottle full to the rim of [TS]

00:41:01   pea under the table and i still have to [TS]

00:41:04   be your way so you you're still you're [TS]

00:41:07   pinched at this point I'm putting your [TS]

00:41:09   young man so you can handle that for a [TS]

00:41:10   while it's not like today right [TS]

00:41:12   pinched and here comes lolo and lola [TS]

00:41:15   strides out onstage and the place goes [TS]

00:41:17   bonkers and Lola is us a pretty like [TS]

00:41:22   lean dark-haired girl with a huge gap [TS]

00:41:25   between her front teeth and you know she [TS]

00:41:30   she's not like a big big she's not a [TS]

00:41:32   buck some girl she's she's she's a [TS]

00:41:36   little scrapper you know she's like [TS]

00:41:38   she's a terrier and she comes out on the [TS]

00:41:41   stage and she just absolutely owns the [TS]

00:41:44   room she's marching back and forth [TS]

00:41:46   she's like shouting at people she's [TS]

00:41:48   pointing at guys she knows guys by name [TS]

00:41:50   and the bar goes bananas and I don't you [TS]

00:41:55   know i'm going to push from behind so I [TS]

00:41:57   take the mickeys bigmouth this was the [TS]

00:41:58   this was an error classic error i do not [TS]

00:42:02   put the Mickey's big mouth full of pee [TS]

00:42:04   on the floor which is what I should have [TS]

00:42:06   done all right now put it on the bar i [TS]

00:42:08   picked pull it up set it next to me on [TS]

00:42:11   the background and I grab another bottle [TS]

00:42:14   and I like you know but I make it full a [TS]

00:42:18   full appear however much more p there is [TS]

00:42:20   and i put that on the bar and I zip my [TS]

00:42:23   pants and Colin are watching Lola and [TS]

00:42:25   you know our where we're trying to [TS]

00:42:28   figure out what this point you're [TS]

00:42:31   thinking more about the P and Lola don't [TS]

00:42:33   know I for I put the pic up there I'm [TS]

00:42:35   like I'm done I'm out of it you know [TS]

00:42:36   it's it's just this bottle now has [TS]

00:42:39   disappeared into a whole collection of [TS]

00:42:41   bottles around the stage like I'm I'm [TS]

00:42:44   now focusing on Lola 100-percent and [TS]

00:42:46   calendar both are trying to figure out [TS]

00:42:48   like why is this woman such a icon to [TS]

00:42:53   these guys and it's obvious why she's [TS]

00:42:57   like she's the most rock-and-roll person [TS]

00:43:00   anyone at any of us have ever seen she [TS]

00:43:01   is she's so rocking wall and so like [TS]

00:43:05   she's so owning the room that there's [TS]

00:43:10   just no comparison you know she's like I [TS]

00:43:12   said she's she's she's kind of a lean [TS]

00:43:14   boyish gal but but she has a she has [TS]

00:43:17   sexual charisma and socal entire like [TS]

00:43:22   leaning on the borrower watching this [TS]

00:43:23   girl and I feel a tap on my shoulder and [TS]

00:43:28   I turn around and it's a sailor a guy in [TS]

00:43:33   a u.s. Navy uniform pie i drummed and he [TS]

00:43:39   points to my pee and he says is that [TS]

00:43:42   your beer my god and I said no and he [TS]

00:43:50   kind of looks around and sort of Sly [TS]

00:43:56   grabs it and it is steaming hot and [TS]

00:44:07   takes it big draft off and Kel goes [TS]

00:44:16   that's it we're out here and grabs me [TS]

00:44:20   and I when the two of us run through [TS]

00:44:23   that push our way through that crowd and [TS]

00:44:27   you know and leave that scene in our [TS]

00:44:29   rearview mirror and I swear to you like [TS]

00:44:30   we ran and ran [TS]

00:44:32   we got out of that bar and ran and ran [TS]

00:44:34   and ran he didn't immediately know like [TS]

00:44:37   flinch [TS]

00:44:38   he figured somebody had abandoned a beer [TS]

00:44:40   any cat warm [TS]

00:44:41   yeah that's what sean just drunken us [TS]

00:44:45   maybe dumbass state of like Lola [TS]

00:44:50   intoxication he took a big big healthy [TS]

00:44:56   drink of my pee right off the bar and I [TS]

00:45:00   was absolutely certain in that moment I [TS]

00:45:02   was paralyzed can grab me I would I [TS]

00:45:05   don't know what happened i was sitting [TS]

00:45:06   there absolutely paralyzed that [TS]

00:45:08   he was going to be was gonna break that [TS]

00:45:10   bottle across my face and then we're all [TS]

00:45:13   tempted to warn him [TS]

00:45:14   oh no oh no no no no I mean he's like is [TS]

00:45:19   that your beer and I was all I could do [TS]

00:45:20   to say like no I mean I wasn't gonna [TS]

00:45:23   like no hey guy hey bro [TS]

00:45:25   ok hey just between dudes thats pink [TS]

00:45:28   there's no there's no good answer than [TS]

00:45:30   the one you gave well yeah right it [TS]

00:45:32   wasn't mine but please if he said it was [TS]

00:45:35   yours you get prisoner's dilemma here if [TS]

00:45:36   you said it was yours [TS]

00:45:37   he would accidentally then you're going [TS]

00:45:39   to fight yeah i mean the the the correct [TS]

00:45:42   answer if it happened today if I was in [TS]

00:45:44   that same situation today I would say [TS]

00:45:45   hey just between you and me don't think [TS]

00:45:47   that link and you know and he would move [TS]

00:45:51   on but I was I was 16 I had done my [TS]

00:45:53   confidence to do a thing like that [TS]

00:45:55   I was just I was thinking when he tapped [TS]

00:45:56   me on the shoulder i was sure that it [TS]

00:45:58   was a guy there to tell me that they had [TS]

00:46:00   that we were kids and we needed to get [TS]

00:46:01   out of there so it was it was low it was [TS]

00:46:06   a low moment I can still I can still [TS]

00:46:08   touch the fear that I had you know what [TS]

00:46:11   I'm instantly reach out and remember the [TS]

00:46:15   pure terror and yet and yet Kellen i [TS]

00:46:19   would go again and again to the strip [TS]

00:46:22   bars and and that anything was so it [TS]

00:46:24   wasn't even at least for me like I don't [TS]

00:46:28   like going to strip bars like the idea [TS]

00:46:30   of watching of paying somebody to dance [TS]

00:46:32   naked for you that it is not like [TS]

00:46:34   appealing to me but I i was i was so [TS]

00:46:38   this seemed like the moat the place [TS]

00:46:41   where people were the most alive that I [TS]

00:46:42   had ever seen in my life you know and i [TS]

00:46:45   miss Eliza that's a lot of conflicting [TS]

00:46:46   emotion is found to have an impact on [TS]

00:46:48   you [TS]

00:46:49   absolutely i mean i was because because [TS]

00:46:51   i'm also looking at the women and saying [TS]

00:46:53   like this is what this is what should be [TS]

00:46:56   should learn to like this right you know [TS]

00:46:58   what i mean like i was thinking i need [TS]

00:46:59   to learn to appreciate this because this [TS]

00:47:02   is what is attractive or this is like [TS]

00:47:06   this is sexiness especially when you're [TS]

00:47:08   sixteen i mean if you're 25 years any [TS]

00:47:11   number of angles but in that case you [TS]

00:47:13   better you better be into it you know i [TS]

00:47:16   mean the the 0 at one point I found out [TS]

00:47:19   in the woods a stack of iron horse man [TS]

00:47:22   scenes which was at like her back made [TS]

00:47:24   an old magazine for that was that was [TS]

00:47:26   for like replicate bikers and they [TS]

00:47:29   always had a centerfold in that magazine [TS]

00:47:31   of like a biker chick that pose naked on [TS]

00:47:35   on you no sir draped across somebody's [TS]

00:47:39   custom Harley and those girls were all [TS]

00:47:41   those girls were always like Lola they [TS]

00:47:43   were they were you could see how fierce [TS]

00:47:47   they were and they weren't existed what [TS]

00:47:48   they weren't strictly beautiful they [TS]

00:47:50   were they were hardcore who um and so [TS]

00:47:55   you know I had that to go on and i had [TS]

00:47:58   but but but going into these strip clubs [TS]

00:48:01   you know it's like what is that when [TS]

00:48:03   you're sixteen what else have you seen [TS]

00:48:04   where people are in a mob scene like [TS]

00:48:06   that like a high school football game [TS]

00:48:08   maybe or or an all-school dance I mean [TS]

00:48:11   that guy just that it can compare you [TS]

00:48:15   see either the time that I was in a [TS]

00:48:16   strip club with you I was a you and I [TS]

00:48:20   were both very uncomfortable [TS]

00:48:21   I thought you handled you comport [TS]

00:48:23   yourself very well it was what weird me [TS]

00:48:25   out well first of all we're not just [TS]

00:48:26   because Isis really really not my scene [TS]

00:48:29   but I was really quite taking it back [TS]

00:48:31   without extremely comfortable several of [TS]

00:48:33   our friends were in a more than [TS]

00:48:34   comfortable [TS]

00:48:35   yes no enthusiastic and laser really [TS]

00:48:38   that I've seen looking awkward in a in a [TS]

00:48:40   food court and they fit right in they [TS]

00:48:42   were very they understood everything [TS]

00:48:44   they knew that I don't see the rules [TS]

00:48:46   they it was it was like it was likely [TS]

00:48:48   they're going to cheers or something [TS]

00:48:50   yeah it was very unusual for me the [TS]

00:48:51   Merlin Diana and a group of our friends [TS]

00:48:53   who are who you would look at and say oh [TS]

00:48:56   what a bunch of nerdy your fruits [TS]

00:48:58   what about your nerdy tech guys with [TS]

00:48:59   their like they're too short pants [TS]

00:49:02   we're all hanging out and and it was [TS]

00:49:04   like all right it's getting kind of late [TS]

00:49:05   what you guys want to do and a few of [TS]

00:49:08   these characters were like let's go to a [TS]

00:49:10   strip club and when they first said it [TS]

00:49:11   you know i was playing host when they [TS]

00:49:14   first said it I I thought it was a joke [TS]

00:49:16   I thought they were being I thought they [TS]

00:49:17   were being facetious I was like haha [TS]

00:49:19   yeah strip club [TS]

00:49:21   they're like no seriously let's go to a [TS]

00:49:23   strip club and I was like stripclub [TS]

00:49:25   really [TS]

00:49:27   and that's exactly the same in some ways [TS]

00:49:29   i would have when I was 16 19 to 25 [TS]

00:49:32   which is that i'm not sure if I'm okay [TS]

00:49:34   with this politically i know i'm gonna [TS]

00:49:36   be uncomfortable but ok but don't mean [TS]

00:49:39   isn't it isn't like and by the way just [TS]

00:49:42   so you know I spent about the last hour [TS]

00:49:43   doing very little except for looking at [TS]

00:49:45   pictures of girls sitting with us Santa [TS]

00:49:46   okay haha I could I could get I could [TS]

00:49:50   get comfortable with that but there's [TS]

00:49:52   just there's something about this sucks [TS]

00:49:55   you know what the order is partly it's [TS]

00:49:57   like if you go anywhere dirty like a [TS]

00:49:59   dirty place and accepting places in [TS]

00:50:01   Alaska they're a little too clean and [TS]

00:50:03   they smell a little too much like [TS]

00:50:04   pinesol yeah there's something about it [TS]

00:50:07   that's like it's it's almost like like a [TS]

00:50:10   well-kept slaughterhouse [TS]

00:50:11   we're like you guys have done a great [TS]

00:50:12   job here it's obviously he made an [TS]

00:50:14   artisanal but clearly some bad shit goes [TS]

00:50:16   down here and when and if you recall so [TS]

00:50:19   we walk into the strip club here in [TS]

00:50:20   Seattle go two slaps the 12 steps pick a [TS]

00:50:23   twenty-dollar cover and by ten-dollar [TS]

00:50:25   coat and you're standing there and you [TS]

00:50:28   know in our friends have like the kids [TS]

00:50:30   less they're disappearing into bags hats [TS]

00:50:32   in the back and slap that twenty dollars [TS]

00:50:34   down fast enough and they are in there [TS]

00:50:35   and you and I are standard they're not [TS]

00:50:37   standing there and getting the lay of [TS]

00:50:38   the land [TS]

00:50:39   hey there it's like they know the floor [TS]

00:50:40   plans like fucking mission impossible it [TS]

00:50:42   right in and one of them is like I like [TS]

00:50:43   Chinese girls give me that chinese girl [TS]

00:50:45   the other ones like I like hispanic [TS]

00:50:46   girls come over here Missy I mean they [TS]

00:50:48   were like in charge right up and they [TS]

00:50:50   come up and talk to the girls talk to [TS]

00:50:52   you that they come up and talk to you [TS]

00:50:54   it's so so it's really weird what was it [TS]

00:50:56   was crazy about that event was you and I [TS]

00:50:58   are standing at the front [TS]

00:50:59   uh still still like looking at our [TS]

00:51:01   twenty-dollar bills kind of wistfully [TS]

00:51:03   going i don't want to pay twenty dollars [TS]

00:51:05   for this really do I have to and we're [TS]

00:51:07   standing and talking and the door opens [TS]

00:51:10   and outcomes like a local impresario and [TS]

00:51:14   and future mayoral candidate here in [TS]

00:51:17   Seattle was like hey John how everybody [TS]

00:51:20   back-slapping I'm like oh and he's like [TS]

00:51:23   I didn't know you came here come with me [TS]

00:51:25   and he he wraps his arm around my [TS]

00:51:27   shoulder I don't know yet i might have [TS]

00:51:28   left you with this but not locked out he [TS]

00:51:30   guides me through the bar to the back [TS]

00:51:34   he's like there's somebody I want you to [TS]

00:51:35   see like pushes me through all the way [TS]

00:51:38   to the back where there are curtains off [TS]

00:51:39   areas there like like you know twin beds [TS]

00:51:44   back there covered with velvet and click [TS]

00:51:47   on a curtain off with with the lacy [TS]

00:51:49   curtain and like that where you taking [TS]

00:51:51   me literally feeling and we walked back [TS]

00:51:54   there and he pulls the curtain back and [TS]

00:51:57   there's a guy friend of mine who is a [TS]

00:51:59   lose the I got a local club Booker with [TS]

00:52:04   two girls on him [TS]

00:52:06   oh and the end and the guys got his arm [TS]

00:52:09   around his like you know bag it jump in [TS]

00:52:12   there you'll pick that guy I i painted [TS]

00:52:15   those girls oh no we have a right now to [TS]

00:52:19   like you know jump on him and I was like [TS]

00:52:21   going to jump on him [TS]

00:52:23   I don't want to be here just yesterday [TS]

00:52:25   and the girls are like I don't know the [TS]

00:52:29   whole thing and you don't mind that my [TS]

00:52:31   friend the the Booker was like you know [TS]

00:52:33   shit-faced use his lap dance was just [TS]

00:52:36   about to turn into a nap dance haha i [TS]

00:52:42   just wanted out so you know I bye-bye [TS]

00:52:46   extricated myself from that like a [TS]

00:52:48   Bacchanalia and came back and found you [TS]

00:52:51   sitting on a sitting on one of it wasn't [TS]

00:52:53   a couch and I was near the stage playing [TS]

00:52:55   with my true think lightly as often as i [TS]

00:52:58   thought i needed to to not stand out [TS]

00:53:00   right right you're just throwing a [TS]

00:53:01   dollar bill periodically just so that [TS]

00:53:03   they know so i didn't notice one thing [TS]

00:53:05   is if a girl comes up and talks to you I [TS]

00:53:07   see above and power 1 mine comes up and [TS]

00:53:09   talk to you in a place like that i mean [TS]

00:53:11   what I'm gonna sound like such a dick if [TS]

00:53:13   I go you know I don't want to be here [TS]

00:53:15   I'm not comfortable with that it's like [TS]

00:53:17   well known what you know this is where i [TS]

00:53:18   work this is what I do and you give me [TS]

00:53:20   money to sit here and pretend to like [TS]

00:53:21   you and that's kind of why you're in [TS]

00:53:23   here idiot [TS]

00:53:24   it's like one of mcdonalds and like [TS]

00:53:25   complaining about beef and now it's it's [TS]

00:53:27   it's not going to stack up so I'm trying [TS]

00:53:29   you know and and I don't encourage it [TS]

00:53:31   you know what I mean it's like it would [TS]

00:53:32   be like hand-feeding goat at the petting [TS]

00:53:34   zoo or something well there and what [TS]

00:53:35   they're when they're trying to convince [TS]

00:53:37   you to pay them forty dollars to give [TS]

00:53:38   you personal did you switch our friends [TS]

00:53:42   happily Lewis so many dances so many I [TS]

00:53:46   guess that's what they call it at but I [TS]

00:53:47   mean yeah yeah they and a couple of them [TS]

00:53:49   went back a few times everyone got a [TS]

00:53:50   refill [TS]

00:53:51   now get it's not that is not how how my [TS]

00:53:55   how my sexuality manifest itself i wish [TS]

00:54:01   i wish i could have walked out of that [TS]

00:54:02   situation feeling great about myself [TS]

00:54:04   instead of just feeling like I was like [TS]

00:54:05   a homemade pussy like I you know you [TS]

00:54:08   wish you could walk out of there with [TS]

00:54:09   with a girl on each arm wearing a fur [TS]

00:54:12   top hat and climbing into a white [TS]

00:54:16   Bentley and with a woman literally [TS]

00:54:21   holding my dick [TS]

00:54:22   yeah the woman holding your dick and [TS]

00:54:23   Rick James driver that's what we all [TS]

00:54:28   wish you know instead instead we slap [TS]

00:54:32   down there in our in our Dockers and [TS]

00:54:34   back to the hotel that was being paid [TS]

00:54:37   for by the conference [TS]

00:54:39   what LOL i would have to be after the [TS]

00:54:44   peanut butter and jelly also i decided [TS]

00:54:47   how here's how i was going to consume [TS]

00:54:48   coffee from now on coffee cups are not [TS]

00:54:50   big enough and I don't want to go with [TS]

00:54:53   this dress pretty french bowls [TS]

00:54:55   I don't want to go the route of some of [TS]

00:54:57   some you know big coffee cup like if you [TS]

00:55:02   go to go to starbucks and talk about we [TS]

00:55:04   go to get to the French kind of like a [TS]

00:55:06   bowl with hand we like it like a cereal [TS]

00:55:08   bowl with handle I don't want to do that [TS]

00:55:09   i'm up i'm opposed to this gentleman [TS]

00:55:11   nineties i drink coffee out of a pint [TS]

00:55:13   glass and that was before that before [TS]

00:55:17   the culture universally decided that a [TS]

00:55:20   coffee cup was too hot to hold unless [TS]

00:55:22   you had a paper diaper for it like there [TS]

00:55:27   was a time if you can imagine this [TS]

00:55:29   yeah before nineteen volunteer hold a [TS]

00:55:31   warm beverage when people could hold a [TS]

00:55:33   warm beverage without having a diaper on [TS]

00:55:35   it and without including a prosthetic [TS]

00:55:36   device [TS]

00:55:37   yep and so I used to drink coffee on the [TS]

00:55:39   way out of a pint glass which is glass [TS]

00:55:42   and which got very hot but a serious [TS]

00:55:44   Bank Alaska it won't shatter with the [TS]

00:55:46   heat like a right these are serious [TS]

00:55:48   class you know like old style by classes [TS]

00:55:50   but as time has gone on I've realized [TS]

00:55:53   that my classes are [TS]

00:55:55   when they're filled with hot coffee are [TS]

00:55:57   inherently unstable they are smaller at [TS]

00:55:59   the bottom they are at the top of so i [TS]

00:56:02   do and i want you know i wanna i wanna [TS]

00:56:04   coffee mug so anyway I discovered or I [TS]

00:56:06   remembered rather all those two liter [TS]

00:56:10   beer steins from like beer house and [TS]

00:56:14   munchen you know they all have all of [TS]

00:56:17   the in the in like a bavaria right they [TS]

00:56:23   make the hot ash shorts coffey a shy [TS]

00:56:25   person but they're not they're not made [TS]

00:56:27   for coffee they're made for beer over [TS]

00:56:28   there beer beer steins that the the [TS]

00:56:30   Bavarian style and strong like that like [TS]

00:56:33   a foot high right there foot high and [TS]

00:56:34   they're gray ceramic and they have a [TS]

00:56:37   little like two liter beer 2 2-liter a [TS]

00:56:41   symbol that's been that's been punched [TS]

00:56:44   into them while know like the clean air [TS]

00:56:46   clean to measurement kind of thing like [TS]

00:56:47   up to this line is two litres exactly [TS]

00:56:49   and then generally if it comes from a [TS]

00:56:53   particular like beerhouse bierstube they [TS]

00:56:57   they have the their their emblem on it [TS]

00:57:00   you know their coat of arms is on these [TS]

00:57:01   so I made it a point as I travel through [TS]

00:57:04   life to collect and and this is the type [TS]

00:57:07   of thing that I'd like old men collect [TS]

00:57:08   right beers times I guys collect these [TS]

00:57:11   and and display them next to their wives [TS]

00:57:14   spin anniversary of-of Hummel figurines [TS]

00:57:18   or spoons ladies like spoons right [TS]

00:57:19   spoons or little bells or spoons with [TS]

00:57:22   bells i don't see those very popular [TS]

00:57:25   clubs so i started i started buying [TS]

00:57:28   these things and now i have us a [TS]

00:57:29   collection of beer steins that kit that [TS]

00:57:31   will that will hold two liters of coffee [TS]

00:57:33   don't have any sense of like how much [TS]

00:57:35   coffee how to how to much coffee [TS]

00:57:39   anything approaching two leaders is mm [TS]

00:57:42   not at all and just keep it warm with [TS]

00:57:44   the email i mean because they're they're [TS]

00:57:46   you know they're made to keep your [TS]

00:57:47   they're insulated to a beer cold [TS]

00:57:49   computing the Germans buy beer like two [TS]

00:57:51   leaders at a time and drink it [TS]

00:57:53   that's correct they drink two liters of [TS]

00:57:55   beer at a time I've never seen the like [TS]

00:57:57   the the hofbrauhaus and in in Munich [TS]

00:58:01   where the photos the girl comes and [TS]

00:58:03   she's got like 70 beer style at poly [TS]

00:58:06   girl bleeding as well [TS]

00:58:07   have a lot of upper-body strength to do [TS]

00:58:09   that those girls are amazing they really [TS]

00:58:11   they they are they're powerful powerful [TS]

00:58:13   ladies the german girls but in any case [TS]

00:58:16   so that's why I drink my coffee and one [TS]

00:58:18   of those I had a peanut butter sandwich [TS]

00:58:19   i took a bath I'm talking about what I [TS]

00:58:21   had to eat yesterday I got the coffee i [TS]

00:58:23   got the coffee pot the PB&J and so just [TS]

00:58:25   just to close that loop that is the the [TS]

00:58:27   stein is your current go to you have you [TS]

00:58:29   put it sounds me two liters of course [TS]

00:58:32   from economically two leaders would be [TS]

00:58:33   like a two liter plastic thing a coke [TS]

00:58:35   but how much but these are 1.5 litre out [TS]

00:58:39   with that that's reasonable [TS]

00:58:40   these are 1.5 liters that's right [TS]

00:58:42   they're not two leaders it's 1.5 liters [TS]

00:58:44   1.5 liters and so that is a half of a [TS]

00:58:48   that is to bottles like if you get a [TS]

00:58:51   bottle of liquor that's my tequila comes [TS]

00:58:53   in 750 milliliters I believe that's the [TS]

00:58:55   standard for a bottle for a bottle that [TS]

00:58:58   you're going to tuck into your shirt [TS]

00:58:59   no not from bottle that you're gonna let [TS]

00:59:02   me look I'm pretty sure [TS]

00:59:04   so that's but anyway that's that's [TS]

00:59:05   that's a fuck ton of coffee yeah and you [TS]

00:59:07   have any place like I mean you put [TS]

00:59:09   created and put a little cream [TS]

00:59:10   ok i'm not a I know they got an animal i [TS]

00:59:12   know that the Sultan said that putting [TS]

00:59:14   cream in coffee [TS]

00:59:16   it ruins both things but I pc now we're [TS]

00:59:20   back to the Christmas turn but had so [TS]

00:59:23   then for lunch I had some macaroni and [TS]

00:59:25   cheese with hamburger and it's 02 make [TS]

00:59:28   that yourself [TS]

00:59:29   yes i believe that i believe that matter [TS]

00:59:31   and cheeses only improved by adding [TS]

00:59:33   hamburger or sausage to on black yes I [TS]

00:59:36   another making my Express later it's [TS]

00:59:39   humid crafter and you put do brown meat [TS]

00:59:41   and then mix it up with the Kraft Dinner [TS]

00:59:42   correct and sometimes I pulled you know [TS]

00:59:45   garlic little onion in there is [TS]

00:59:48   delicious and economical it's very good [TS]

00:59:50   at their craft dinner is not an [TS]

00:59:51   expensive and this is different races [TS]

00:59:53   different from chili mac this is this is [TS]

00:59:54   straight up straight up kraft dinner [TS]

00:59:56   with with beef you were actually making [TS]

00:59:57   chili mac i'm not a big fan of chili man [TS]

00:59:57   chili mac i'm not a big fan of chili man [TS]

01:00:00   ok but then later on in the day I had [TS]

01:00:04   two chocolate chip cookies and then I [TS]

01:00:06   had to life savers and then at one [TS]

01:00:09   o'clock in the morning i had i made two [TS]

01:00:12   hot dogs and I covered it with a can of [TS]

01:00:14   chili and then eventually went to bed [TS]

01:00:20   and then i went to bed at four o'clock [TS]

01:00:21   in the morning and now i'm talking to [TS]

01:00:23   you it's very early [TS]

01:00:24   mm my god and you have a hot dog on a [TS]

01:00:29   bun [TS]

01:00:30   no I I find that if i buy hot dog buns I [TS]

01:00:34   like hot dog buns if i buy a hot dog but [TS]

01:00:36   package of hotdogs problems they I used [TS]

01:00:39   two of them and then the rest in the [TS]

01:00:40   refrigerator to let me go blue they go [TS]

01:00:42   blue real fast so it's not a thing that [TS]

01:00:44   I feel is a good investment [TS]

01:00:46   hot dog buns like if you buy a package [TS]

01:00:48   of corn tortillas with they will I mean [TS]

01:00:51   I have a package of corn tortillas in my [TS]

01:00:52   refrigerator that now i'm keeping just [TS]

01:00:54   to see just to see if when i die my [TS]

01:00:58   heirs inherit this package of corn [TS]

01:01:02   tortillas and still find them tasty [TS]

01:01:04   interviews because you seem to be seal [TS]

01:01:06   the bag you'll be fine keep it someplace [TS]

01:01:08   dark and then they appear they appear to [TS]

01:01:10   last forever [TS]

01:01:11   I don't know i-i've never seen a corn [TS]

01:01:13   tortilla go bad but a hot dog bun will [TS]

01:01:15   go bad in a in a blink of an eye [TS]

01:01:17   so I don't I feel like it's not a unless [TS]

01:01:19   i'm having a BBQ there's no reason to [TS]

01:01:21   get a package of hotdogs so no it was [TS]

01:01:23   just too hot dogs and put some cheese on [TS]

01:01:25   let's be honest and then I pork and [TS]

01:01:28   chili on top [TS]

01:01:29   what kind of what brand did not anymore [TS]

01:01:31   no I have to say that that that that the [TS]

01:01:35   chili I used with stagg chili [TS]

01:01:37   ok now I've seen stock every time I go [TS]

01:01:38   to the store and I see chili I think of [TS]

01:01:40   you and I think that you would probably [TS]

01:01:42   be so you wouldn't you wouldn't you [TS]

01:01:44   wouldn't think less of me if I tried [TS]

01:01:46   some canned chili [TS]

01:01:47   no I don't prefer it well but in a pinch [TS]

01:01:51   it's one o'clock in the morning I feel [TS]

01:01:53   like two chili dogs just actually just [TS]

01:01:56   started varietal is is there certain [TS]

01:01:58   varietal to get or watch out for West [TS]

01:02:00   actually also stack have a whole [TS]

01:02:02   selection of chilies different flavors [TS]

01:02:04   but here's what I typically do i buy a [TS]

01:02:07   bunch of vegetarian chili [TS]

01:02:10   and then I buy you know a few cans of [TS]

01:02:12   stag for when I'm I for one it's one [TS]

01:02:16   o'clock in the morning but I what I do [TS]

01:02:18   is I by a bunch of vegetarian chili and [TS]

01:02:20   then I'm 85 pounds of hamburger and I [TS]

01:02:21   poor 15 cans of vegetarian chili in it [TS]

01:02:25   and then I have a popular you wearing [TS]

01:02:28   clothes while you're doing this depends [TS]

01:02:31   different story is there splatter [TS]

01:02:33   sometimes just an apron with nothing [TS]

01:02:34   else but I feel like just saying a pic [TS]

01:02:38   it feel like the problem with buying [TS]

01:02:40   things like canned chili at supermarket [TS]

01:02:43   is that is that it's it's the pump chili [TS]

01:02:47   problem it's at one point there is a cow [TS]

01:02:50   and he's eating some he's eating some [TS]

01:02:52   grass and then somehow he becomes pump [TS]

01:02:55   chili and everything in between the [TS]

01:02:57   couch eating the grass and him being in [TS]

01:02:59   a in a bag in a pump that that's all [TS]

01:03:02   stuff i don't want to know we're not [TS]

01:03:03   going to get that going to be choice [TS]

01:03:05   bits [TS]

01:03:06   it's not it's not it's not going to be [TS]

01:03:07   good at all and to the degree to which I [TS]

01:03:10   can control my hamburger supplied by [TS]

01:03:12   buying organic amber from a local guy [TS]

01:03:15   that I know I try to do I i gotta tell [TS]

01:03:18   you i mean i'll i'll pick up a ribeye [TS]

01:03:21   you know but I I'm getting I'm getting a [TS]

01:03:24   little antsy about the ground beef it's [TS]

01:03:26   finally it's finally the chicken and [TS]

01:03:29   cheap ground beef are starting to really [TS]

01:03:31   worry me [TS]

01:03:32   yeah because you know you know the [TS]

01:03:33   process by which a like a tysons chicken [TS]

01:03:36   is made there is nothing good about it [TS]

01:03:39   from the time that the egg comes out of [TS]

01:03:42   a chicken that is owned by Tyson move to [TS]

01:03:45   the time that that chicken tender is [TS]

01:03:47   going through your cut like every step [TS]

01:03:51   of the way something evil has happened [TS]

01:03:53   and so anyway so I i take the vegetarian [TS]

01:03:57   chili which just by definition if you [TS]

01:04:01   are selling vegetarian chili you are a [TS]

01:04:03   hippie m and so I i feel very confident [TS]

01:04:06   what if i buy a can that says organic [TS]

01:04:08   vegetarian chili that the chances of [TS]

01:04:11   there being any hate in that can are [TS]

01:04:14   very very small dubai dubai anything [TS]

01:04:16   more masculine top set the appearance [TS]

01:04:18   that your giant faggot [TS]

01:04:20   no because I don't care of people in [TS]

01:04:21   supermarkets that good for you [TS]

01:04:23   good for you i'm gonna say what bugs me [TS]

01:04:25   I you know I what bugs me [TS]

01:04:26   I don't like talking about my groceries [TS]

01:04:28   I was really yeah I don't want to talk [TS]

01:04:30   to you about your ground for the love of [TS]

01:04:32   God and are safe way they used to be 11 [TS]

01:04:34   lady 1i hyper bibulous woman I mean you [TS]

01:04:39   think I talk this is just a solid streak [TS]

01:04:43   of nothing just follow and she's just [TS]

01:04:45   commenting on everything she's clear she [TS]

01:04:47   clearly needs some of my medicine [TS]

01:04:48   she's out of control and and she talks [TS]

01:04:51   about every single item [TS]

01:04:54   well I'm sure she'll pull up no no this [TS]

01:04:56   is not like going to william sonoma [TS]

01:04:57   where they instructed to compliment you [TS]

01:04:59   on your decisions and talk about [TS]

01:05:00   interesting things you could do with it [TS]

01:05:01   which also drives me crazy right [TS]

01:05:03   I go in there and I by sodastream I hand [TS]

01:05:06   in my old sodastream I get new [TS]

01:05:07   Sodastream's but they have to make a [TS]

01:05:09   remark about it [TS]

01:05:10   there might be a lot of people like this [TS]

01:05:12   do you like to make this with the mix [TS]

01:05:13   know I'd like you to take my money and [TS]

01:05:15   let me leave the fucking lie i would [TS]

01:05:17   have assigned like sort of like with the [TS]

01:05:19   taxi drivers right i just want to say [TS]

01:05:21   turn off your music throw away the air [TS]

01:05:22   freshener and fuck for love love of God [TS]

01:05:24   stop talking to me it's like that it's [TS]

01:05:26   like that in my dentist's office like I [TS]

01:05:27   sit down in the challenge obviously at a [TS]

01:05:30   super tricky an orthodontist we're used [TS]

01:05:32   to talking to ten-year-olds I sit down [TS]

01:05:34   in the chair and the the girls over and [TS]

01:05:36   she opens her mouth and she's like hi [TS]

01:05:38   how are you [TS]

01:05:39   you know and she's farting rainbows in [TS]

01:05:41   my mouth and I'm like fuck off I'm not [TS]

01:05:44   gonna want to talk to you [TS]

01:05:45   oh you know what i got fifty you know [TS]

01:05:48   what else I now I'm ready to disagree on [TS]

01:05:50   this one but i'm telling you i also [TS]

01:05:52   don't want you to tell me how to improve [TS]

01:05:53   my dental health [TS]

01:05:54   oh fun day can keep just keep your tips [TS]

01:05:57   and tricks to yourself there's so much [TS]

01:05:58   shame involved in the inn in the mouth [TS]

01:06:01   it's not even that I just want to talk [TS]

01:06:02   about you know get all the brown stuff [TS]

01:06:03   off put something together that makes it [TS]

01:06:05   way floss me but you know what don't [TS]

01:06:08   give me a bag full of stuff don't get me [TS]

01:06:09   fucking homework there really is a lot [TS]

01:06:11   of shame about the about teeth though [TS]

01:06:13   you got a bet going to a car wash and [TS]

01:06:15   we're talking to you you don't have you [TS]

01:06:17   don't have any can have no cavities my [TS]

01:06:19   god [TS]

01:06:20   yeah but yeah but we'll remember now [TS]

01:06:21   that the the hygienist all when I would [TS]

01:06:24   still go to the dentist because they're [TS]

01:06:25   jackals shoot giving the same xerox each [TS]

01:06:28   time about how if I don't floss I'll get [TS]

01:06:30   a heart attack [TS]

01:06:32   haha this is been conclusively shown [TS]

01:06:36   that the stuff that is in plaque will [TS]

01:06:38   get into your body i no fucking manhood [TS]

01:06:40   out there is going to send me links [TS]

01:06:41   about this [TS]

01:06:42   yeah it gets into your body oh yeah you [TS]

01:06:44   can meet the stuff and plaque gets into [TS]

01:06:45   your bio in addition heart attack [TS]

01:06:47   whatever it is it's cavity creeps every [TS]

01:06:50   groups separately still have those well [TS]

01:06:53   they can't they can't make cavities on [TS]

01:06:54   you because somehow there's somebody so [TS]

01:06:56   wizard cast a spell of of of dentine on [TS]

01:07:00   you or something we connect holes in [TS]

01:07:03   teeth but the cavity creeps are figuring [TS]

01:07:05   out a way to get in and fuck with your [TS]

01:07:07   heart they're making cavities in your [TS]

01:07:08   heart [TS]

01:07:09   fuckin a yeah there's have all they [TS]

01:07:11   become sentient like the any tria [TS]

01:07:13   what you need is scrubbing bubbles well [TS]

01:07:16   you know it's funny I need to clean my [TS]

01:07:17   office because it really is it really is [TS]

01:07:18   just awful right now so I'm actually [TS]

01:07:20   every Mickey's big mouthful of T my run [TS]

01:07:23   now I have one job I keep right here for [TS]

01:07:26   podcasts and I within at least a day or [TS]

01:07:29   two of being done oh I have several [TS]

01:07:31   facts for you John gonna give you to fax [TS]

01:07:32   quickly i know i don't just run along [TS]

01:07:34   that I had two factories that are very [TS]

01:07:35   important first of all apparently the [TS]

01:07:37   the amount of time that is spent by a [TS]

01:07:40   typical federal chicken inspector on a [TS]

01:07:42   bird or a third of a second typical [TS]

01:07:45   federal stricken inspector there's a lot [TS]

01:07:47   of pretty ladies or ladies and gentlemen [TS]

01:07:49   guided by voices I know it's a they [TS]

01:07:52   spend a third of a second / chicken to [TS]

01:07:54   get 33 chickens a second that's that's [TS]

01:07:56   the inspection process for fucking [TS]

01:07:57   chicken so here's what the inspection [TS]

01:07:58   processes alive alive alive alive alive [TS]

01:08:01   oh not alive but you remember what [TS]

01:08:03   happened that was during the Clinton [TS]

01:08:05   years remember the Clinton years because [TS]

01:08:06   Tyson and giving him a lot of money when [TS]

01:08:08   they lock the doors on the place and [TS]

01:08:09   there's a big slurry of chicken water [TS]

01:08:11   and shit [TS]

01:08:12   remember that oh yeah slurry of chicken [TS]

01:08:13   water and shit and shit [TS]

01:08:15   here's the other thing now I need to I [TS]

01:08:17   need to fact-check myself on this but [TS]

01:08:18   i'm pretty sure this is why they need [TS]

01:08:20   the item to cockblock your Mickey story [TS]

01:08:21   but I but I'll tell you something that I [TS]

01:08:23   learned a long time ago that I [TS]

01:08:25   constantly keep in mind i don't know if [TS]

01:08:26   it's entirely accurate but you I have a [TS]

01:08:30   feeling that based on your experience on [TS]

01:08:31   the road so you Pete you've peed into a [TS]

01:08:34   what probably added Johnny bottle like a [TS]

01:08:36   big mouth bottle you started talking [TS]

01:08:38   about your talk about being on tour well [TS]

01:08:40   when you have to pee in the in the van [TS]

01:08:42   no no Gatorade bottles nice wide mouth [TS]

01:08:45   big big wide mouth and then and you know [TS]

01:08:47   32 out the typical the typical bladder [TS]

01:08:50   will hold i guess i guess this is I [TS]

01:08:53   don't know this is comfortably if that [TS]

01:08:55   is dying to know the answer to this [TS]

01:08:56   ready yeah maximum yeah one leader [TS]

01:08:59   really so but there's one saying if you [TS]

01:09:03   really really really have to pee [TS]

01:09:05   never grab anything that's less than a [TS]

01:09:06   leader are you going to be honest at [TS]

01:09:08   sorry state you're gonna have your hands [TS]

01:09:09   wet hands one later okay well 35 costume [TS]

01:09:12   are 5 topped off a leader and i think i [TS]

01:09:14   may have gone over but i double-check [TS]

01:09:16   this but i'm pretty sure you know what [TS]

01:09:17   yeah well first of all tell me does that [TS]

01:09:19   comport with your experience at all it [TS]

01:09:20   does it absolutely does it actually does [TS]

01:09:22   a a large gatorade bottle i have i have [TS]

01:09:26   never filled but a better but one of the [TS]

01:09:28   like single serving sizes of gatorade [TS]

01:09:31   bottles who it's just not quite enough [TS]

01:09:34   16 ounces not quite [TS]

01:09:37   you can go over and that's embarrassing [TS]

01:09:39   particularly if you're in the backseat [TS]

01:09:41   of a tour van its hurtling across the [TS]

01:09:43   roads of North Dakota and you're like I [TS]

01:09:46   gotta pee and the driver in this case [TS]

01:09:48   probably me that says we're not stopping [TS]

01:09:51   I'm playing two roles in this scenario [TS]

01:09:54   I'm the driver who's not stopping i'm [TS]

01:09:56   also the guy in the back wants to put a [TS]

01:09:58   lot of smaller set video [TS]

01:09:59   yeah that's right isn't it ironic that [TS]

01:10:03   Johnny bottle that was taller than you [TS]

01:10:05   think and then you got to get him back [TS]

01:10:07   and make a little tink consists of all [TS]

01:10:10   first of all yes i have never allowed a [TS]

01:10:13   Dasani bottle of any kind into into any [TS]

01:10:17   any piece of my profit because coca-cola [TS]

01:10:19   supports apartheid because not only [TS]

01:10:21   because Coco supports a part-time basis [TS]

01:10:24   please don't do that don't they [TS]

01:10:25   the way that they make the dishonour [TS]

01:10:27   water tastes the way they do is that [TS]

01:10:28   every bottle of design water is filtered [TS]

01:10:30   to a dead raccoon is hits right yeah i [TS]

01:10:35   had never heard that you can taste it [TS]

01:10:36   every day every bottle of dasani they [TS]

01:10:39   have they they have a they have a thing [TS]

01:10:40   there where they will filter the water [TS]

01:10:42   through it and record and at a certain [TS]

01:10:44   point they have to change the record our [TS]

01:10:46   come on but doesn't taste that bad it's [TS]

01:10:49   so terrible that 10 as we have minerals [TS]

01:10:52   to make it more of a flavor you know [TS]

01:10:53   what that means salt they had salt no to [TS]

01:10:57   the design of water if you don't think [TS]

01:10:58   there's salt in tucson water my friend [TS]

01:10:59   you are fooling there's no shit salt and [TS]

01:11:02   also whatever other minerals come out of [TS]

01:11:04   a dead record it is the worst worst [TS]

01:11:07   worst and the thing is here's where my [TS]

01:11:09   feeling about the sunny water if [TS]

01:11:11   coca-cola can manage to convince people [TS]

01:11:13   that this pollution is refreshing water [TS]

01:11:17   then what we should do is employ the [TS]

01:11:20   coca-cola company to convince the [TS]

01:11:22   Pakistanis that they do not really care [TS]

01:11:24   that much about kashmir and maybe we can [TS]

01:11:27   end war you don't know you're saying [TS]

01:11:30   it's like a Jedi mind trick [TS]

01:11:31   it is a fucking Jedi mind trick the [TS]

01:11:32   coca-cola company has through by [TS]

01:11:35   throwing 1 billion dollars that at the [TS]

01:11:38   the marketing of this product they have [TS]

01:11:40   taken this polluted water that has that [TS]

01:11:44   they have added salt to and that they [TS]

01:11:46   have filtered through a dead record boom [TS]

01:11:49   and they've put in what I find to be [TS]

01:11:51   even unappealing looking bottles and [TS]

01:11:53   then that you find it everywhere now you [TS]

01:11:55   go to places and it's like weeks we [TS]

01:11:56   exclusively serve dasani water and I [TS]

01:11:59   feel it's all that exclusivity now I [TS]

01:12:01   think they have done such an amazing job [TS]

01:12:03   of convincing people that this pollution [TS]

01:12:05   is nutrition that that we should employ [TS]

01:12:08   them we really should to go to a to go [TS]

01:12:12   to Kashmir and say listen everyone this [TS]

01:12:17   is it you know what we're gonna do we're [TS]

01:12:19   going to make a free state of Kashmir [TS]

01:12:20   and it's gonna be an open City and [TS]

01:12:22   everybody can come and so pakistan-india [TS]

01:12:24   you guys can just relax now and then you [TS]

01:12:26   can stop funding the terrorists in [TS]

01:12:28   Afghanistan because it's not because you [TS]

01:12:30   know that that's all about India to [TS]

01:12:32   let's say you're saying if I understand [TS]

01:12:33   what you're saying you're saying if they [TS]

01:12:34   have these persuasive skills and they [TS]

01:12:36   made the kind of do they're making by [TS]

01:12:37   putting water in plastic and selling it [TS]

01:12:39   you're saying you're saying maybe give a [TS]

01:12:41   little back it's time it's time to use [TS]

01:12:43   your jedi mind tricks now who wants [TS]

01:12:45   kashmir who who is it that there's [TS]

01:12:47   different people want it is that the [TS]

01:12:48   problem [TS]

01:12:49   oh who doesn't want kashmir ya know that [TS]

01:12:51   song so India and China and Pakistan the [TS]

01:12:55   Chinese are in on it [TS]

01:12:56   listen the Chinese on everything like [TS]

01:12:58   that [TS]

01:12:58   anywhere that China touches I'm [TS]

01:13:00   guarantee that the Chinese are trying to [TS]

01:13:02   think of a way to move that fence a [TS]

01:13:04   little bit more like here's the border [TS]

01:13:06   but I said think really if you get right [TS]

01:13:08   down to it really the border belongs [TS]

01:13:10   over here just a hundred miles further [TS]

01:13:12   along in you know because that used to [TS]

01:13:15   be China that's traditional China anyway [TS]

01:13:17   Kashmir's this beautiful beautiful place [TS]

01:13:18   so lovely place food and and all of [TS]

01:13:22   these countries believe that it is there [TS]

01:13:24   it is their ancestral homeland their [TS]

01:13:27   their red is rightfully theirs and it is [TS]

01:13:30   the source to Kashmir is the source of [TS]

01:13:32   all the all the problems there [TS]

01:13:34   it's absolutely this is this happens in [TS]

01:13:36   a lot of countries and i have to tell [TS]

01:13:37   you I I'm not the not the International [TS]

01:13:39   polymath that you are but I think [TS]

01:13:41   there's anybody can settle this shit is [TS]

01:13:42   probably cola that's exactly what I the [TS]

01:13:44   international market penetration they [TS]

01:13:46   got a cool logo they can get up there [TS]

01:13:48   and they could give free dasani water to [TS]

01:13:49   everybody and then as everybody is [TS]

01:13:51   choking it down and I think that is this [TS]

01:13:53   tastes like the inside of your right is [TS]

01:13:54   a hot and kashmir out what mountainous [TS]

01:13:57   ok but I'm just thinking you walk all [TS]

01:13:59   the way up to the meeting right you [TS]

01:14:01   gotta walk uphill you're sweating you [TS]

01:14:02   have lost you know makes gatorade is [TS]

01:14:04   cooking gatorade my big Gators made by [TS]

01:14:06   the university of florida that's where [TS]

01:14:08   was invented like the like the flat iron [TS]

01:14:09   steak was invented at the University of [TS]

01:14:12   Florida only invented like 15 2015 20 [TS]

01:14:14   years ago when iron steak the Flatiron [TS]

01:14:16   steak was discovered they discovered [TS]

01:14:19   geometrically a new way to cut up a cow [TS]

01:14:21   to get a a nearly perfect piece of steak [TS]

01:14:26   it's a bit an ideal piece of steak and [TS]

01:14:28   is it cut it cut it up in a different [TS]

01:14:30   way they cut a different angle that came [TS]

01:14:31   out from 3d angle i'm going to research [TS]

01:14:33   this because this is fast and i'm on the [TS]

01:14:35   page i just sent you the link to the [TS]

01:14:36   page a quiet questions and answers about [TS]

01:14:38   the volume of the human bladder the [TS]

01:14:40   largest number i can find for capacity [TS]

01:14:42   capacity for most of them 600 cubic [TS]

01:14:45   centimeters which would be 600 [TS]

01:14:47   milliliters the highest i can find [TS]

01:14:49   anywhere is 1000 cm3 that's cubic [TS]

01:14:53   centimeters right which is a leader a [TS]

01:14:55   leader right that's it that is the [TS]

01:14:56   maximum boom your full well I here's the [TS]

01:14:59   thing I i I'm gonna do this off air [TS]

01:15:02   I have to pee really really bad right [TS]

01:15:03   now and so when we wrap up here I'm [TS]

01:15:06   going to pee and measure it now when i [TS]

01:15:07   want--that's that's great I 32 that we [TS]

01:15:09   do that you could compare results on [TS]

01:15:11   that [TS]

01:15:11   is why don't have to be right now but [TS]

01:15:13   John if you knew they'd listen if you [TS]

01:15:14   spent the last holy like 55 you spent [TS]

01:15:16   the last 55 years of your life knowing [TS]

01:15:18   that you had at best a leader maybe in [TS]

01:15:21   your case you're from alaska you're [TS]

01:15:22   pretty tall so it would do us at 666 3 [TS]

01:15:25   and then nine tenths what is it [TS]

01:15:27   so you might have let's say you got one [TS]

01:15:30   point two leaders like Arthur wouldn't [TS]

01:15:32   change the way you think about bottles [TS]

01:15:35   well it would happen when I was i used [TS]

01:15:37   to live in a warehouse loft that I kept [TS]

01:15:39   meaning to put a bathroom in this along [TS]

01:15:46   time ago in my twenties like like like [TS]

01:15:50   that even put meaning to do that i lived [TS]

01:15:53   in this warehouse for years haha [TS]

01:15:55   and there was a there's no bathroom sink [TS]

01:16:01   and no kitchen was only utility sink [TS]

01:16:03   no but there was a bathroom in the [TS]

01:16:05   building which was shared by all the [TS]

01:16:09   other like artists a God sharing a [TS]

01:16:13   bathroom with artists and fucking [TS]

01:16:14   warehouse all breeders and it was a [TS]

01:16:17   terror it was it was it was a demon [TS]

01:16:18   others also thinking about those people [TS]

01:16:20   eat [TS]

01:16:20   oh I do she tells John and I've seen it [TS]

01:16:23   but at a but in any case I kept a so-so [TS]

01:16:28   because we didn't have around water in [TS]

01:16:30   the line lived here for years with no [TS]

01:16:31   running water [TS]

01:16:32   I i would buy water by the gallon i [TS]

01:16:36   would buy gallon jugs of water and then [TS]

01:16:39   it was a big warehouse right so my i [TS]

01:16:42   built a room for myself over in the [TS]

01:16:44   corner and in the middle of the night to [TS]

01:16:48   get up from my my bed and walk across my [TS]

01:16:53   giant warehouse out the door and down [TS]

01:16:56   the hall where there were where somebody [TS]

01:16:58   was probably having a midnight art [TS]

01:17:00   opening and somebody else was left [TS]

01:17:02   welding something to go to this bathroom [TS]

01:17:05   that was it was little it was literally [TS]

01:17:06   a mile away was it a one homer the [TS]

01:17:09   bathroom oh yeah okay so it wasn't an [TS]

01:17:10   airport bathroom [TS]

01:17:11   no no it was a one it was it was one [TS]

01:17:14   toilet and it and the bathroom had been [TS]

01:17:16   slapped together by somebody it wasn't [TS]

01:17:19   it's not like a it's not a bathroom that [TS]

01:17:21   you would be comfortable in the bathroom [TS]

01:17:22   where when the wind was blowing [TS]

01:17:24   the wind would come through the cracks [TS]

01:17:25   in the wall so anyway I kept a gallon [TS]

01:17:28   jug of an empty gallon jug under my bed [TS]

01:17:30   and if i woke up in the middle of night [TS]

01:17:31   and had to go pee i would go pee in this [TS]

01:17:33   gallon job but because of my hoarding [TS]

01:17:37   tendencies i ended up sometimes with 3 [TS]

01:17:41   or 4 gallon jugs of PE under my bed and [TS]

01:17:45   it was a pretty high up it was like a on [TS]

01:17:47   a standard it was it was a high bed [TS]

01:17:49   yeah wasn't like a mattress on the floor [TS]

01:17:50   huh oh yeah I had some standards but it [TS]

01:17:54   was when you're in a warehouse you're [TS]

01:17:55   gonna be off that foot / yeah it was [TS]

01:17:57   very embarrassing when somebody wanna [TS]

01:17:59   you know when a lady would come over and [TS]

01:18:01   if she was a mean typically most ladies [TS]

01:18:03   wouldn't discover it but everyone's like [TS]

01:18:05   a nosy lady who wants to see what's [TS]

01:18:06   under your bed and then she's like [TS]

01:18:08   what's all this apple cider get his [TS]

01:18:10   check and productive than not it's and [TS]

01:18:13   you go oh i'm sorry but i think that's [TS]

01:18:15   one of the that's just the living alone [TS]

01:18:18   living alone equal eq stop noticing [TS]

01:18:21   things like that quite as much you [TS]

01:18:22   really don't think that that's part of [TS]

01:18:24   it [TS]

01:18:24   it is and and the thing about the [TS]

01:18:25   warehouse loft is that it backed up on [TS]

01:18:28   the police station and this was during [TS]

01:18:31   so the police they admitted they kind of [TS]

01:18:34   built this police station at the time [TS]

01:18:35   and then so the so we had an alley [TS]

01:18:37   between us and the and the and the [TS]

01:18:39   precinct the main precinct house for the [TS]

01:18:41   neighborhood and it was during the WTO [TS]

01:18:44   era and right before that and it was at [TS]

01:18:47   a time when I was you know I still felt [TS]

01:18:49   somewhat legitimate a legitimately mad [TS]

01:18:52   at the police for being there protecting [TS]

01:18:54   us and that sometimes rather than [TS]

01:18:58   because the thing is if you leave if you [TS]

01:18:59   leave p a milk jug under your bed for [TS]

01:19:01   very long at all [TS]

01:19:03   mhm it takes on a certain that if you've [TS]

01:19:05   ever been around [TS]

01:19:06   god forbid you gonna run a cat and it [TS]

01:19:08   takes on a certain ammonia quality [TS]

01:19:10   oh it really does it's a terrible [TS]

01:19:11   terrible musculation and it's pretty [TS]

01:19:13   fast like you might be okay for a day or [TS]

01:19:15   two but then you walk in that you've [TS]

01:19:16   gone outside to go get some coffee you [TS]

01:19:18   come back in and it really it really [TS]

01:19:19   smells like cats is terrible and and so [TS]

01:19:22   you can tell the cops on your core of [TS]

01:19:24   course here gentlemen I'm not fucking [TS]

01:19:26   mon coeur [TS]

01:19:27   but but I you know it if it was if the [TS]

01:19:30   videos fresh I would take it and I would [TS]

01:19:32   dump it in the toilet but if it was but [TS]

01:19:35   you know standing there standing there [TS]

01:19:36   at a communal toilet with a gallon jug [TS]

01:19:38   of P like have you like it didn't even [TS]

01:19:44   look at drain in the floor [TS]

01:19:46   oh don't sweat it was either the window [TS]

01:19:50   or the door was gonna pick that's right [TS]

01:19:52   that's not a thing where you think like [TS]

01:19:53   I'm I'm still Russian imagine it nothing [TS]

01:19:56   but now that you have me like a child [TS]

01:19:58   wagon like a Red Ryder that have just [TS]

01:20:00   been like six right video we're making a [TS]

01:20:03   bathroom run [TS]

01:20:04   hey good morning this is johnson hello [TS]

01:20:06   mr. Hooper Luke but it's a hippie had [TS]

01:20:11   turned to alonia p.m. on South if it [TS]

01:20:14   turned and had become like Ron p is not [TS]

01:20:18   want to stand in the toilet and then [TS]

01:20:20   like and go to Duke because it was just [TS]

01:20:23   terrible thing [TS]

01:20:24   so what I would do is I would open the [TS]

01:20:25   bathroom window and I would roll and [TS]

01:20:29   jumpy at the back of the police haha ah [TS]

01:20:32   they'll never figure that out and you [TS]

01:20:35   know and I just was and these things [TS]

01:20:37   would explode and just be there just be [TS]

01:20:39   this terrible [TS]

01:20:40   Oh ammonia pee all over everything that [TS]

01:20:43   Ali I'm sure still is a Superfund site [TS]

01:20:45   but you know I mean going back to super [TS]

01:20:48   train or the products predecessor the [TS]

01:20:50   precursor supertrain your father's [TS]

01:20:52   Alaskan train [TS]

01:20:53   I mean you you've always enjoyed [TS]

01:20:54   throwing things out of windows it's [TS]

01:20:56   absolutely true right and so I mean [TS]

01:20:57   that's a hard habit to break and it [TS]

01:20:59   seems to me like you've developed it at [TS]

01:21:01   this point when you're living in the [TS]

01:21:02   artist warehouse you had a get a chain [TS]

01:21:04   of interesting repetitive behaviors like [TS]

01:21:08   it's hard to stop being a jug I mean [TS]

01:21:09   that boy that's real easy [TS]

01:21:11   he is so easy in it and honestly I mean [TS]

01:21:13   I know there are people probably [TS]

01:21:14   listening who are thinking that is [TS]

01:21:16   disgusting right now but that's just [TS]

01:21:18   because they haven't tried it but you [TS]

01:21:20   know what if you if you are able to pee [TS]

01:21:22   into a milk jug and have not done it i [TS]

01:21:24   highly recommend you do it today [TS]

01:21:27   go get a milk jug pee in it you'll see [TS]

01:21:30   what I'm talking about it's a great [TS]

01:21:31   feeling and check out a window and then [TS]

01:21:33   if you if you have access to a window [TS]

01:21:35   chuck it is it the TV station of the [TS]

01:21:37   window that's more force the window [TS]

01:21:38   right [TS]

01:21:40   it's the window the thing is the thing [TS]

01:21:41   about the windows a big window on old [TS]

01:21:43   warehouse window and I could i kinda in [TS]

01:21:45   within the bathroom like windup so that [TS]

01:21:48   I was really hot in this and what I what [TS]

01:21:52   I always wondered as you know if you [TS]

01:21:53   look down the alley to the end there's a [TS]

01:21:55   busy street so at some point [TS]

01:21:58   surely someone was walking by happened [TS]

01:22:00   to glance down LOL just as a milk jug [TS]

01:22:04   full of orange p came out of a [TS]

01:22:06   third-story window and hit the building [TS]

01:22:09   across the street and exploded fire at [TS]

01:22:11   all and they had to think to themselves [TS]

01:22:13   SI did it had to think they had to think [TS]

01:22:17   well on my way to my job interview can't [TS]

01:22:22   stop and pick about I just imagine a [TS]

01:22:23   cop-out backup smoke and fire and [TS]

01:22:26   housework and I would go in back to [TS]

01:22:28   smoke [TS]

01:22:29   yeah but this alley I mean I think even [TS]

01:22:32   before I lived there Sally was a was a [TS]

01:22:34   that was coming up magnet area 4p i [TS]

01:22:38   don't i think i think the cops you know [TS]

01:22:40   in Seattle right the cops have the cups [TS]

01:22:42   are dissing courage to smoke [TS]

01:22:46   oh yeah I think they'd ask them to do it [TS]

01:22:48   i cannot not in public it looks weird [TS]

01:22:49   when a cop smokes [TS]

01:22:50   yeah it does it does it's the it's not [TS]

01:22:52   the old days now [TS]

01:22:53   you don't just have cops standing around [TS]

01:22:55   smoking my daughter is frequently [TS]

01:22:57   treated to the site of cops are talking [TS]

01:23:00   shotguns are all right because you live [TS]

01:23:03   right next to a police station to ya I [TS]

01:23:05   mean not right next to it because I [TS]

01:23:06   would be creepy tell people where I live [TS]

01:23:07   but you can which is that nobody doing [TS]

01:23:09   that you're making sure that we're doing [TS]

01:23:10   that you're making sure it's empty [TS]

01:23:12   is that right when you got choc so they [TS]

01:23:14   got they got the right finally my [TS]

01:23:15   daughter and I went ask because we [TS]

01:23:16   always notice that when they're when [TS]

01:23:18   they're loading up the cop car they got [TS]

01:23:19   they got a giantess rifle and another [TS]

01:23:21   giant ass for iphone one of them is [TS]

01:23:22   orange and so I went over and I said I [TS]

01:23:25   excuse me um I'm asking is the orange [TS]

01:23:28   one for training purposes is that not a [TS]

01:23:30   real rifle [TS]

01:23:31   no but you know the deal right how they [TS]

01:23:33   had to put the orange tip because people [TS]

01:23:34   are killing kids you know about this [TS]

01:23:35   right now of course we know about the [TS]

01:23:37   charlie lister's may not know that if [TS]

01:23:38   you have a child's toy gun it has to [TS]

01:23:40   have an orange tip now that's true [TS]

01:23:42   around the world i think because kids [TS]

01:23:44   are getting killed people are getting [TS]

01:23:45   killed by holding up toy guns and cops [TS]

01:23:47   thought they were real guns never cops [TS]

01:23:48   are killing kids who hold up a sandwich [TS]

01:23:50   wrapped in tinfoil [TS]

01:23:53   don't feel bad we'll do that can be [TS]

01:23:56   munition it could write [TS]