Ep. 35: "You Give 'Em Israeli Eyes"
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hello hi John
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hi Merlin how's it going pretty good
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earlier man you know what spend just
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going along time you're ready to come
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and give it a good ready
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sure John yeah I had to do that little
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bit they call it off my oh no that's
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good that's exactly right your learning
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your learning good Mike technique was
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gonna ask you about that do you consider
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yourself some was good mic skills
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absolutely food
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I mean you can't sing into microphones
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for 20 years without learning something
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you bring about you bring some different
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different 57 smells like a butt that's
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gonna be different than sure I'll sure
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sec I'll 5418 or whatever
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oh yeah sure see Kyle 4418 is a that's a
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terrible Mike at least Hitler made the
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microphones right on time he really did
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those are the Germans migrate microphone
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not then they put them up there but but
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as you know as you know oh my god all my
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things are sleeping at once here I said
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she sent you three different kinds of
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messages i apologize it's okay that's
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typical of you I have 700 skype
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invitations 10 ical invitations to
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skyping no see that's that's meet you
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yeah I know it yes it has your name
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right at the top of it just start over
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it should not just a little if you want
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to delete on this we can start over
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I don't want I don't want them I'm
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trying to keep my inbox at zero and you
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are adding things to my in so the
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Germans make a good Mike
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yeah via the thing about sure
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microphones that smell like the bottom
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of the ocean is that you know if that's
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how you know that you're in
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that's how you know you're in a hell of
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a club who have a real rock club when
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when you know they have never sanitize
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their microphones you can't do that i
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mean it's like flow type it seems to me
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a man a man of your status with the kind
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of money you got if you were going to
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start a club on not they would serve
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alcohol or you just gonna stare
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yea high status absolutely that's gonna
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take a big cloud which you would use
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sanitizer Mike's i personally would
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there's a club in denver called the
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lion's lair which the first time I
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right there it was promoted to me by
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everyone has like a legendary place you
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have to play the lions lair it's a
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legendary place and we arrived at the
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lion's lair and it was legendarily
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abysmal it was it was a club is a club
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that kind of like the one that you took
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us to recently in san francisco where
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the smell it like the smell of fresh
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paint mixed with bleach mixes with like
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hepatitis mr. hepatitis C hepatitis c 70
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general kind of the window Jack kind
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really bad ooh yuck smell like Judd so
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you walk in there and you're like oh
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right i wouldn't come into this place to
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get change for a dollar but i'm playing
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here tonight drinking after the class
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its and the microphone so the guy that
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setting up a PA is like yeah we got
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three mics you decide where you want
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them you know like by way of saying
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we're not making any of your instruments
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we have three microphones be talking
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about the place he played that lions are
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we played there multiple times
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oh I'm sorry I'm sorry but that wasn't
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that was not your experience in san
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francisco that's good i don't know the
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great american music hall is one of the
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finest clubs in the world is one clarify
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ok that's the line the lion's lair in
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however is not on the list of the finest
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clubs in the world and in fact the
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microphone that they gave me this is the
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best night they had because i'm the lead
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vocalist and of course you are going to
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give the best Mike you have to the lead
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vocalist the microphone was a covered
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with rust and be actually had been
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thrown to the floor in a in a punk-rock
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rage so many times that it way it had
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sharp cutting blades on it where the
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where the mic had broken and somebody
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put it back together with a hammer or
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something this screen the screen had
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shards yeah the first time I touched it
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with my lips I was like oh that just cut
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me and I'm just I'm just doing a
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soundcheck like I need to go get a
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tetanus shot now what exactly is not
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like the Vietcong we put we put poop on
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the stick and when that when this when
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they learn that when they tracked it
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their own g sticking in the poop on the
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stick is an infection right now this is
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how the lion's lair is spreading their
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brand of punk rock around America so I
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wish I ended up playing there for five
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times over the years because
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every time someone says the lion's lair
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I go oh yeah I've had such a good time
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they're legendary club and then I would
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you consider living in your own would
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you consider bringing your own something
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some guys bring the fancy ribbon mic or
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whatever in a special box would you do
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here's what happens here is what happens
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when you bring it on Mike you leave it
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at that up because it's the last thing
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you're thinking of when you leave unless
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you have your own sound man if you're
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gonna sound man he's got Mike's but if
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it like I carried around a mic like in
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the past pocket of my jacket for a tour
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like here's my mic and I left it behind
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like three different times and finally
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frankly quite frankly this is gonna
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sound terrible but I left it at the
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bowery ballroom another of the greatest
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clubs in the world and it had my name
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written on earth but when i called them
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they were like no yeah we don't know
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where it went and that was like oh come
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on really
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yeah they're not hiring out the Ivy
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League's for that kind of thing are they
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have the kind of the kind of lists
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you're not gonna get me you're not going
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to coax me on on this podcast to say one
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bad word about the glorious and honorary
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our honorable guild of sound engineers
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roadies and technicians who make the
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club's of america resonate like giant
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cellos they are there are glorious cast
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its kind of talking your proctologist
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exactly i'm never going to say a
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terrible thing about the about that army
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of men and women dressed all in black
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it's super super high with leatherman uh
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multi-tools on their belts and a beeper
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and enlarged flashlights or small
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flashlights and the tiny want you to get
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the tiny little on whether the black
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ones you get one of those giant those
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does the Maglites you get a little
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maglite and you get that holster right
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well the real pros have have tiny
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Maglites with red lenses on them so that
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they can be on stage with their maglite
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and not disrupt the the show uh-huh
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without without with a distracting white
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light that has a red light so that their
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it's like it's basically Special Forces
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stuff those guys use I you know I
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military grade III you not only to
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direct the show but I
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I have a even you've played a thousand
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times more rock shows that i have in a
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million years but even with my very
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modest amount of experience i must tell
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you playing with exactly the same setup
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at exactly the same Club god bless it it
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sounded completely different every night
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with the same sound man you know if the
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guy is the guy who ran the club guy play
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I played the two guys that I played in
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bands with on this overtime finally four
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guys but if they round the board you're
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in good shape because they kind of cared
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but then how it was real goofy would do
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it and I was always struck and we play a
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couple times out of town I was always
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blown away that it could sound so so
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very very different i understand a room
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being different
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yeah but but it seems like you know it's
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like if you ran a restaurant and your
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kind of confused about where the stove
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was yeah well here's the here's pro tip
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okay don't don't let the goofy guide to
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the sound
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what about the coldest taciturn guy
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because he just hauling gear and doing
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merger or you know Jon Coulton sound man
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John Carter is a here's the consummate
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the rock-and-roll professional here yet
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the young women period within the inn
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hotel lobby that's that's that's
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different fella
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no no he's he's John Jonathan Colton's
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Yale educated merch Lackey know there's
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no patent old-world correct craft by the
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way Jonathan Coulton is a sound man is a
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hero has work he he would he was a
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handsome guy with the dark hair
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well i'm not here to judge a man's I'm
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sorry little attractiveness to I'm sorry
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uh but but he is he was on you know he
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would sound for the opener on the
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michael jackson bad tour like he's keep
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this guy's been around when Carter is a
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is a is a sword wielder who say actually
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that's not anything anybody still still
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grey eyes
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Tom that the here is another thing about
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microphones and you know I I don't like
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to literally sickened our listeners but
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we're talking both talking two
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microphones right now so you have this
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microphone is disgusting any offices
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this this is a single-use microphone
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that has never seen anything worse than
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Mount I'll get user you buy single use
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microphone me and you do one podcast and
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throw it away
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absolutely
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thank you get another mind that Spencer
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they say officers like you don't write
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it's okay it's okay that I the toilet
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paper fast lady he just move on right
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now I mean no offense I don't work ping
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pong but the you know the the sm57 that
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it's a workhorse right the NAIA you know
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things sm57 it seems to me are
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everywhere because they're inexpensive
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wood used well you can use them for most
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like all kinds of different things if
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you lost every other mic in the world
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you can still build a house with with an
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sm57 all day and you can make a kick
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drum and you can get by with it as a
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vocal mic right you can you get eaten
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right i mean you've done good show
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singing into an sm57 right
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I don't want to do a show that we're
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where we are we are advertising for
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shure sm57 because well but I'm gonna
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I'm angling for a sponsorship I want
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that company to pony up we are singing
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the praises of the sm57 what a punk rock
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Mike it is i'm gonna take another
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direction if you don't mind
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alright please do because here's the
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thing you walk on the stage most places
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and there's this this rats this recall a
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rat king of of with XLR you see like a
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bunch of XL ours is the prowl again for
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the snake you got a bunch at long x el
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arse in coils and everybody's got a
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special way they like the coil the thing
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don't touch don't touch the coils and
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then you see this pile of sm57 on the
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floor in front of where the kick drum
[TS]
00:10:17
◼
►
would because that's you know they want
[TS]
00:10:19
◼
►
to get home and get back to more
[TS]
00:10:20
◼
►
marijuana you are describing the
[TS]
00:10:22
◼
►
experience of a of a young up-and-coming
[TS]
00:10:24
◼
►
band in Florida we were never we never
[TS]
00:10:26
◼
►
got up or cane we found we were down and
[TS]
00:10:31
◼
►
not coming
[TS]
00:10:32
◼
►
it has been a long time since I played
[TS]
00:10:33
◼
►
in a club where I walked on the stage
[TS]
00:10:35
◼
►
there's just a pile up like a pile of
[TS]
00:10:37
◼
►
cigar butts a pile of sm57 stacked in
[TS]
00:10:42
◼
►
front of the kick drum
[TS]
00:10:43
◼
►
uh-huh it's been a long time because
[TS]
00:10:45
◼
►
they keeping a plastic box or however
[TS]
00:10:46
◼
►
i'm gonna perform a professional rock
[TS]
00:10:48
◼
►
musician and when I show up to clatters
[TS]
00:10:50
◼
►
like there's a selection of nice
[TS]
00:10:52
◼
►
microphones that are being that are
[TS]
00:10:54
◼
►
being mastered by the commander the
[TS]
00:10:57
◼
►
master and commander on the stage who is
[TS]
00:11:00
◼
►
directing his sailors and Midshipmen up
[TS]
00:11:03
◼
►
the Riggin he's pointing the same in all
[TS]
00:11:05
◼
►
the right direction to repair the
[TS]
00:11:07
◼
►
prepare the stage for my show my
[TS]
00:11:09
◼
►
registered mr. Roderick who has I'm
[TS]
00:11:11
◼
►
going on with you however i'd like to
[TS]
00:11:13
◼
►
talk about writers at some point you
[TS]
00:11:14
◼
►
have a kidney writer or is that
[TS]
00:11:15
◼
►
something that's understood i have a
[TS]
00:11:16
◼
►
writer but here's the thing about
[TS]
00:11:18
◼
►
writers is a lot of young bands make the
[TS]
00:11:20
◼
►
mistake of thinking that our shit but
[TS]
00:11:21
◼
►
anything you want on a writer put three
[TS]
00:11:23
◼
►
thousand dollars worth of sushi on the
[TS]
00:11:24
◼
►
writer and then I what you don't realize
[TS]
00:11:26
◼
►
is that they're taking that money out of
[TS]
00:11:28
◼
►
the money they would otherwise pay you
[TS]
00:11:29
◼
►
it's reproducible well right yeah
[TS]
00:11:32
◼
►
immediately recoupable so so I don't my
[TS]
00:11:36
◼
►
writers fairly simple because I would
[TS]
00:11:38
◼
►
rather have the money then have somebody
[TS]
00:11:40
◼
►
charge me seven dollars for a great so
[TS]
00:11:43
◼
►
when you when you rose and came just a
[TS]
00:11:45
◼
►
little bit you probably now see I'm
[TS]
00:11:48
◼
►
guessing you did I could see the putting
[TS]
00:11:49
◼
►
clawfoot bathtub on there and then one
[TS]
00:11:51
◼
►
time you know fool me once close some of
[TS]
00:11:53
◼
►
that stuff right like if you're if you
[TS]
00:11:56
◼
►
say for instance if you say we need a
[TS]
00:11:58
◼
►
they're not going to charge you for that
[TS]
00:12:00
◼
►
unless they're playin scrupulous well um
[TS]
00:12:03
◼
►
ok but the other part of this and again
[TS]
00:12:05
◼
►
you have to tell me if this is a real
[TS]
00:12:06
◼
►
world experience but bringing your own
[TS]
00:12:09
◼
►
Mike not having a sound guy could see
[TS]
00:12:11
◼
►
that being you know whatever they might
[TS]
00:12:13
◼
►
be not that cool with that but we bring
[TS]
00:12:15
◼
►
on my core you have a big rider this
[TS]
00:12:17
◼
►
does that also pick you as as trouble
[TS]
00:12:20
◼
►
no no bring your own sound guy in your
[TS]
00:12:22
◼
►
own gear everybody loves that except one
[TS]
00:12:25
◼
►
time in minneapolis we played a club
[TS]
00:12:29
◼
►
where the sound guy we had our own sound
[TS]
00:12:32
◼
►
guy and the sound guy did the sound and
[TS]
00:12:34
◼
►
at the end of the night the house sound
[TS]
00:12:36
◼
►
guy came out and pitched a fit like a
[TS]
00:12:43
◼
►
screaming fit that the that our some guy
[TS]
00:12:46
◼
►
had not zero doubt the board which is to
[TS]
00:12:48
◼
►
say he had not pushed all the faders
[TS]
00:12:51
◼
►
back down to zero this is a thing that
[TS]
00:12:54
◼
►
you can do yourself
[TS]
00:12:56
◼
►
here's the thing that you could hire you
[TS]
00:12:59
◼
►
can have a cat do you know if you tear
[TS]
00:13:01
◼
►
up the masking tape everything down
[TS]
00:13:03
◼
►
reset all the little things 20 you start
[TS]
00:13:04
◼
►
over yun gonna hit all the buttons
[TS]
00:13:06
◼
►
started 20 restart from 00 out read a
[TS]
00:13:09
◼
►
lot of work and so we're standing around
[TS]
00:13:11
◼
►
it's really not a lot of work ok act is
[TS]
00:13:14
◼
►
it is a minuscule amount of work and if
[TS]
00:13:17
◼
►
you are obsessive compulsive like me
[TS]
00:13:19
◼
►
there's nothing you like better
[TS]
00:13:21
◼
►
this is around okay just sit there like
[TS]
00:13:23
◼
►
000 do you actually know if it's working
[TS]
00:13:27
◼
►
just assume it's not work well I mean
[TS]
00:13:30
◼
►
everything is everything that isn't
[TS]
00:13:32
◼
►
sleeping his work but it's good point
[TS]
00:13:35
◼
►
but this is a thing like we're standing
[TS]
00:13:37
◼
►
around after the show at the audience is
[TS]
00:13:39
◼
►
gone where
[TS]
00:13:40
◼
►
like loading up our final guitars into
[TS]
00:13:43
◼
►
the man and the house sound guy comes
[TS]
00:13:45
◼
►
over looks at his board which is not
[TS]
00:13:47
◼
►
zero doubt and he really he started
[TS]
00:13:50
◼
►
screaming oh not zeroing out when you're
[TS]
00:13:52
◼
►
done answering out when you're done how
[TS]
00:13:55
◼
►
I see start screaming screaming things
[TS]
00:13:58
◼
►
that it's like I'm a professional sound
[TS]
00:14:00
◼
►
man i played i have done sound at
[TS]
00:14:03
◼
►
sold-out shows sold out shows and no one
[TS]
00:14:08
◼
►
has ever not zero doubt the board so
[TS]
00:14:11
◼
►
that shows and you're like yeah this in
[TS]
00:14:16
◼
►
fact tonight show was sold out and what
[TS]
00:14:18
◼
►
are you talking about why are you
[TS]
00:14:20
◼
►
screaming and he's like that stomping
[TS]
00:14:24
◼
►
around like hey man so it's that it's
[TS]
00:14:29
◼
►
0out you're bored or what was that like
[TS]
00:14:31
◼
►
not cleaning off his dead rubber girl
[TS]
00:14:33
◼
►
it's like would be like returning your
[TS]
00:14:34
◼
►
sticky well in fact it is not like
[TS]
00:14:37
◼
►
nothing there's nothing equivalent to
[TS]
00:14:39
◼
►
how small of a deal this is it's like
[TS]
00:14:41
◼
►
it's like somebody saying it's like
[TS]
00:14:43
◼
►
somebody coming out of the bathroom and
[TS]
00:14:44
◼
►
saying i told you to turn the light off
[TS]
00:14:46
◼
►
when you left the bathroom and I went in
[TS]
00:14:48
◼
►
there the light was on
[TS]
00:14:50
◼
►
like I'm sorry the light was on sorry
[TS]
00:14:53
◼
►
now I told you too late and effective I
[TS]
00:14:58
◼
►
didn't tell you should have just known
[TS]
00:15:00
◼
►
alright sorry
[TS]
00:15:03
◼
►
well we'll never do it again because we
[TS]
00:15:04
◼
►
won't come back here well yeah my
[TS]
00:15:08
◼
►
experience was extremely different
[TS]
00:15:09
◼
►
because let's say we were there are no
[TS]
00:15:11
◼
►
small potatoes were fingerling potatoes
[TS]
00:15:13
◼
►
in Iraqi consistent but the weird thing
[TS]
00:15:14
◼
►
about living where we lived is we did
[TS]
00:15:16
◼
►
get the entirely inappropriate
[TS]
00:15:18
◼
►
opportunity to open for a lot of amazing
[TS]
00:15:20
◼
►
bands because we you play for cheap and
[TS]
00:15:23
◼
►
really as far as a friend alex wyse the
[TS]
00:15:25
◼
►
promoters to save it so it's good
[TS]
00:15:27
◼
►
exposure and you know whatever which
[TS]
00:15:29
◼
►
basically means he didn't want to pay
[TS]
00:15:30
◼
►
you because he had to be a big fish in a
[TS]
00:15:32
◼
►
small pond or even
[TS]
00:15:34
◼
►
officials multiple nice to be a fish no
[TS]
00:15:35
◼
►
question i talked to a a woman who was i
[TS]
00:15:38
◼
►
I was on a panel one time at the
[TS]
00:15:41
◼
►
experience music project here in Seattle
[TS]
00:15:43
◼
►
who the EMP and it was panel on groupies
[TS]
00:15:47
◼
►
in in rock and roll and I was the only
[TS]
00:15:52
◼
►
man on the bill are on the on the panel
[TS]
00:15:56
◼
►
and also the only musician build another
[TS]
00:15:59
◼
►
way bill is a fellow centric name right
[TS]
00:16:01
◼
►
i'm sorry i was the only man on the bill
[TS]
00:16:04
◼
►
or Janet dias ya on the days on the yeah
[TS]
00:16:10
◼
►
at the table at the head table boy had
[TS]
00:16:13
◼
►
yeah nice terrible i'm sorry that you're
[TS]
00:16:15
◼
►
so deep inside the bell essentially
[TS]
00:16:17
◼
►
right big direction your way out i was i
[TS]
00:16:20
◼
►
was the only man on the vagina okay
[TS]
00:16:23
◼
►
thank you spelled my and that the the
[TS]
00:16:27
◼
►
woman who was the chair of the event was
[TS]
00:16:31
◼
►
a feminist writer from olympia from that
[TS]
00:16:35
◼
►
from the hippie college there
[TS]
00:16:39
◼
►
evergreen college and she had a shed
[TS]
00:16:42
◼
►
that she kind of stacked the panel with
[TS]
00:16:44
◼
►
with women who were rock writers who all
[TS]
00:16:48
◼
►
kind of shared her view that being a
[TS]
00:16:49
◼
►
groupie was a was like a the almost the
[TS]
00:16:56
◼
►
worst thing a woman can do and not only
[TS]
00:16:58
◼
►
terrible for her but it also degraded
[TS]
00:17:00
◼
►
women all across the world like 22 love
[TS]
00:17:03
◼
►
abandoned follow band and to be like the
[TS]
00:17:06
◼
►
girlfriend of rock musicians was a kind
[TS]
00:17:10
◼
►
of debasement that the left a lasting
[TS]
00:17:13
◼
►
scar on women everywhere and then on
[TS]
00:17:16
◼
►
this panel of all these kind of very
[TS]
00:17:18
◼
►
serious-minded young writers there was a
[TS]
00:17:22
◼
►
woman who was now 55 years old who had
[TS]
00:17:26
◼
►
written a book about her 25 years as a
[TS]
00:17:29
◼
►
rock groupie and she started off her
[TS]
00:17:32
◼
►
presentation by saying you know I was 14
[TS]
00:17:34
◼
►
years old and I was walking down the
[TS]
00:17:35
◼
►
street in my hometown of San Antonio
[TS]
00:17:37
◼
►
Texas and Pamela de barres no it's not
[TS]
00:17:40
◼
►
Pamela march because this is this is the
[TS]
00:17:42
◼
►
point of her story she lived in San
[TS]
00:17:43
◼
►
Antonio and so all the big bands came
[TS]
00:17:46
◼
►
through
[TS]
00:17:47
◼
►
san antonio but there was no competition
[TS]
00:17:50
◼
►
in San Antonio to be like a hot rock
[TS]
00:17:53
◼
►
girl but you it's not like in LA where
[TS]
00:17:55
◼
►
there's 2,500 a models kind of standing
[TS]
00:18:00
◼
►
there trying to talk to the band in san
[TS]
00:18:01
◼
►
antonio she had no competition she and
[TS]
00:18:04
◼
►
her little group of friends anyway she
[TS]
00:18:07
◼
►
her story began she's like walking down
[TS]
00:18:08
◼
►
the street 14 years old and a and a
[TS]
00:18:09
◼
►
white limo pulls up its 1973 and the
[TS]
00:18:12
◼
►
door opens and it's rod stewart and he's
[TS]
00:18:15
◼
►
like I can you climb in England and I am
[TS]
00:18:20
◼
►
I'm from England clouds into the car
[TS]
00:18:23
◼
►
I used to be from Scotland gaap net you
[TS]
00:18:25
◼
►
know on the rock star
[TS]
00:18:27
◼
►
I don't look at me here they sort of
[TS]
00:18:30
◼
►
these drinks and she climbs into the car
[TS]
00:18:33
◼
►
and so begins like a 15-year odyssey for
[TS]
00:18:37
◼
►
her starting admittedly pretty young but
[TS]
00:18:41
◼
►
she she was dated iggy pop for three
[TS]
00:18:44
◼
►
years she traveled around the world
[TS]
00:18:46
◼
►
she's been everywhere up and down and
[TS]
00:18:48
◼
►
she said it was the greatest experience
[TS]
00:18:50
◼
►
of your life and then she wouldn't give
[TS]
00:18:52
◼
►
back a second of it and she and I became
[TS]
00:18:54
◼
►
fast friends on this panel because we
[TS]
00:18:56
◼
►
were surrounded by all these very
[TS]
00:18:58
◼
►
serious bleeding you know you're strong
[TS]
00:19:00
◼
►
lead i do i was like i'm with you chicky
[TS]
00:19:05
◼
►
baby you are pre-qualified madam these
[TS]
00:19:07
◼
►
other the other women up here in their
[TS]
00:19:09
◼
►
special underwear with their their mean
[TS]
00:19:11
◼
►
sticks are going to not gonna take the
[TS]
00:19:15
◼
►
fun out of this for me and actually she
[TS]
00:19:19
◼
►
said from the from the day she was like
[TS]
00:19:21
◼
►
you're my kind of rock star if I was 20
[TS]
00:19:23
◼
►
years younger I was like baby you have
[TS]
00:19:26
◼
►
to be 20 years younger
[TS]
00:19:27
◼
►
we got a special connection right now
[TS]
00:19:29
◼
►
you want to do it just right here on the
[TS]
00:19:31
◼
►
table but we really it was not we did
[TS]
00:19:34
◼
►
this this paneling off the field didn't
[TS]
00:19:35
◼
►
feel they feel like their sides being
[TS]
00:19:37
◼
►
taken at some point oh my god absolutely
[TS]
00:19:39
◼
►
well the woman is what i found later was
[TS]
00:19:41
◼
►
the we're getting questions from the
[TS]
00:19:43
◼
►
audience and a lot of the questions from
[TS]
00:19:45
◼
►
the audience were really political
[TS]
00:19:46
◼
►
really like hyper overthought
[TS]
00:19:50
◼
►
fourth-generation feminist theory being
[TS]
00:19:53
◼
►
thrown at I don't think a lot of
[TS]
00:19:54
◼
►
groupies are going to come to that they
[TS]
00:19:58
◼
►
got other places to be all who knows who
[TS]
00:19:59
◼
►
goes to these pop comfort
[TS]
00:20:00
◼
►
this is honestly but anyway I found
[TS]
00:20:02
◼
►
later that the woman who had chaired the
[TS]
00:20:04
◼
►
panel who had slight hand selected me
[TS]
00:20:06
◼
►
for this thing I mean I'm she's somebody
[TS]
00:20:08
◼
►
I respect as a writer but she was
[TS]
00:20:10
◼
►
calling on girls in the crowd whom she
[TS]
00:20:14
◼
►
knew who were her students in the class
[TS]
00:20:18
◼
►
she taught so she's calling she's
[TS]
00:20:20
◼
►
handpicking the people that she's
[TS]
00:20:23
◼
►
calling on to ask questions because
[TS]
00:20:26
◼
►
people raising their hands and wanted to
[TS]
00:20:28
◼
►
ask questions and she's picking these
[TS]
00:20:29
◼
►
people and I was just like wow this is
[TS]
00:20:31
◼
►
amazing this crowd is really hostile and
[TS]
00:20:33
◼
►
they're all asking me how I feel about
[TS]
00:20:35
◼
►
mind raping the youth of America and I'm
[TS]
00:20:38
◼
►
like I don't I don't feel like I mind
[TS]
00:20:40
◼
►
raping anybody you know just well maybe
[TS]
00:20:43
◼
►
migrating a few people who come on who
[TS]
00:20:45
◼
►
doesn't
[TS]
00:20:46
◼
►
anyway so it was it was a little bit of
[TS]
00:20:49
◼
►
the deck was stacked against against
[TS]
00:20:51
◼
►
those of us who believe that that sex is
[TS]
00:20:54
◼
►
not really that big of a deal
[TS]
00:20:57
◼
►
stacked yeah now now wait nose and
[TS]
00:21:01
◼
►
ping-pong i would love to close this
[TS]
00:21:02
◼
►
thread as soon as possible
[TS]
00:21:04
◼
►
yes I know me too was this was this was
[TS]
00:21:06
◼
►
just the lady who misspelled feminism I
[TS]
00:21:08
◼
►
know that was that was lost was a bust
[TS]
00:21:11
◼
►
magazine the cover I think of a bust
[TS]
00:21:15
◼
►
right cost ya how to use your family
[TS]
00:21:18
◼
►
no rain but I still I still have a
[TS]
00:21:20
◼
►
little jar feminism here in my office in
[TS]
00:21:22
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case any feminist come in the middle of
[TS]
00:21:24
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the night I can wait with them an easier
[TS]
00:21:26
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management it repels there means today I
[TS]
00:21:28
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like sticking around that says sticks
[TS]
00:21:33
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bell with a why don't you notice i just
[TS]
00:21:35
◼
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used a kind of which voice from The
[TS]
00:21:37
◼
►
Wizard of Oz to describe feminists wow
[TS]
00:21:39
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LOL thats so ping pong I think you're
[TS]
00:21:42
◼
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gonna get you're gonna get a note about
[TS]
00:21:43
◼
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that from copyboy a lot i'm gonna be a
[TS]
00:21:45
◼
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lot of angry email
[TS]
00:21:46
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yeah food because i think i think a lot
[TS]
00:21:49
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of our listeners are feminists yes as
[TS]
00:21:51
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you and I are I I agree but the thing
[TS]
00:21:54
◼
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about feminism it is it's a big tent to
[TS]
00:21:57
◼
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pick tennessee senator heavy there's
[TS]
00:21:59
◼
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really there's room in there for for all
[TS]
00:22:01
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of us but different different viewpoints
[TS]
00:22:04
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and different different body decisions
[TS]
00:22:08
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actions his positions
[TS]
00:22:10
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different positions yeah different
[TS]
00:22:13
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costumes lot of decisions are stacked Oh
[TS]
00:22:16
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it'sit's on let's move on from the
[TS]
00:22:19
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do you have a deal with three by five
[TS]
00:22:21
◼
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card lying around that you can pick up
[TS]
00:22:22
◼
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and just if you like I can read you
[TS]
00:22:24
◼
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everything I have one three-by-five
[TS]
00:22:25
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cards at this point if it would be
[TS]
00:22:26
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useful i don't know i think that would
[TS]
00:22:29
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ok I gotta do you want just real quickly
[TS]
00:22:32
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yeah go ahead
[TS]
00:22:32
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no I mean that's doesn't like to hear
[TS]
00:22:34
◼
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from Kat lion's lair groupies we got to
[TS]
00:22:37
◼
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talk about cough buttons white members i
[TS]
00:22:38
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got a big problem with white limo Spenny
[TS]
00:22:40
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him i don't know the white limo
[TS]
00:22:42
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okay you know what I'm gonna make a
[TS]
00:22:44
◼
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small star next to that would you cheat
[TS]
00:22:47
◼
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on Laurie Anderson and why is there
[TS]
00:22:49
◼
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never room for middle ground in an
[TS]
00:22:51
◼
►
argument i also have other things we'd
[TS]
00:22:53
◼
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like to get back to sure but I think
[TS]
00:22:54
◼
►
we've already moved on
[TS]
00:22:55
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yes i would say also unto my Wayne story
[TS]
00:22:57
◼
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at some point that's be today we you
[TS]
00:22:59
◼
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know we just recently broke up and now
[TS]
00:23:01
◼
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it makes me sad yeah it was that guy's a
[TS]
00:23:03
◼
►
hell of a guitar player one of the first
[TS]
00:23:04
◼
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people to know about it because I was on
[TS]
00:23:06
◼
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Twitter in the middle of the night and
[TS]
00:23:08
◼
►
Aaron Aaron had that inscrutable to tap
[TS]
00:23:11
◼
►
yeah and I was like hey look at that I'm
[TS]
00:23:12
◼
►
here i am i'm right at the front of the
[TS]
00:23:15
◼
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bow this boat of knowing well I don't
[TS]
00:23:17
◼
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want to upset feminists are weaned yeah
[TS]
00:23:20
◼
►
but if you if you were going to end a
[TS]
00:23:24
◼
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mostly I don't see stalled let's say
[TS]
00:23:26
◼
►
it's slowed down a lot if you had a
[TS]
00:23:28
◼
►
slowdown career with a very popular cult
[TS]
00:23:32
◼
►
band would you move directly to Rod
[TS]
00:23:34
◼
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McKuen cover album personally know I
[TS]
00:23:37
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personally would not but then i am not a
[TS]
00:23:38
◼
►
fan of the we're breaking up
[TS]
00:23:41
◼
►
now after nobody cares points what's the
[TS]
00:23:44
◼
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what's the point in general
[TS]
00:23:45
◼
►
jonathan is a point I don't think REM
[TS]
00:23:47
◼
►
should have broken up I think you just
[TS]
00:23:48
◼
►
stopped putting out records and I mean
[TS]
00:23:51
◼
►
what if you can't handle the occasional
[TS]
00:23:53
◼
►
fan letter going when's your next record
[TS]
00:23:55
◼
►
you know and i hope i'm not giving away
[TS]
00:23:57
◼
►
too much I open but now i'm not gonna
[TS]
00:23:58
◼
►
get a bunch of tweets from people are
[TS]
00:24:00
◼
►
like did you break up the long winters
[TS]
00:24:01
◼
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and you're just not telling us
[TS]
00:24:03
◼
►
that's because that's not what it's like
[TS]
00:24:04
◼
►
breaking up the angry audience at a
[TS]
00:24:06
◼
►
stadium
[TS]
00:24:07
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I mean they're gonna leave once they can
[TS]
00:24:09
◼
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find the door yeah right now with all
[TS]
00:24:11
◼
►
respect banned you have a band at this
[TS]
00:24:14
◼
►
me personally whining besides you
[TS]
00:24:16
◼
►
personally are there other people to
[TS]
00:24:17
◼
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have people to play instruments are not
[TS]
00:24:19
◼
►
base its do you think you're asleep my
[TS]
00:24:22
◼
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man be okay
[TS]
00:24:23
◼
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guess I'm just imagining you like like
[TS]
00:24:25
◼
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the guy Mary Poppins we got like symbols
[TS]
00:24:27
◼
►
between your knees like this and a
[TS]
00:24:29
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►
picture i'm on my back with your parents
[TS]
00:24:31
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can is in a man Shh
[TS]
00:24:34
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in fact I do have a band and then think
[TS]
00:24:35
◼
►
about my band is that they're young
[TS]
00:24:37
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they're very talented very easy as much
[TS]
00:24:39
◼
►
easy to push around
[TS]
00:24:40
◼
►
no no that's not at all is there what
[TS]
00:24:43
◼
►
the hell was that your salad did that
[TS]
00:24:49
◼
►
did you just let the air out of the
[TS]
00:24:51
◼
►
pneumatic suspension of your next Arace
[TS]
00:24:54
◼
►
I like burying the Baron Harkonnen I i
[TS]
00:24:57
◼
►
do this kind of an open stores and I
[TS]
00:24:58
◼
►
float and I can't just pick up missing
[TS]
00:25:01
◼
►
okay i know john i might have official
[TS]
00:25:04
◼
►
i'm gonna write the shower and off
[TS]
00:25:05
◼
►
button I just coughed right Mike was
[TS]
00:25:06
◼
►
getting mad about the cuff button isn't
[TS]
00:25:08
◼
►
sure as well he's a he says he's gonna
[TS]
00:25:09
◼
►
buy you a lot of buyers and all I've
[TS]
00:25:11
◼
►
never seen an actual cough button should
[TS]
00:25:13
◼
►
we should we mentioned this we should we
[TS]
00:25:14
◼
►
should we should we should I don't know
[TS]
00:25:16
◼
►
what it'll just be another of the
[TS]
00:25:18
◼
►
inscrutable like it in jokes that we
[TS]
00:25:21
◼
►
have a free of a friend of a friend of
[TS]
00:25:22
◼
►
the show it in a band who wouldn't you
[TS]
00:25:24
◼
►
say that he is always a picky about
[TS]
00:25:27
◼
►
sound but he's a man with really good
[TS]
00:25:29
◼
►
years and he's you know you can hear the
[TS]
00:25:31
◼
►
production right thank you he's a he's a
[TS]
00:25:34
◼
►
legendary person he really is a one of
[TS]
00:25:36
◼
►
the great on my heroes
[TS]
00:25:38
◼
►
I think one of the all-time greats this
[TS]
00:25:39
◼
►
this this listener this podcast listener
[TS]
00:25:41
◼
►
but definitely definitely in the
[TS]
00:25:44
◼
►
pantheon of all time greats but he is
[TS]
00:25:46
◼
►
offended by a great many things
[TS]
00:25:49
◼
►
yeah but one of those things is that I
[TS]
00:25:51
◼
►
sometimes and Flemmi honest honest if
[TS]
00:25:55
◼
►
the right I'm a sniffer and you're a
[TS]
00:25:56
◼
►
hawker yeah you sniff I and I everyone
[TS]
00:25:58
◼
►
trying to circulate I'm not say anything
[TS]
00:26:00
◼
►
i'm trying unconscious and mindful e
[TS]
00:26:01
◼
►
sitting here I'm trying not to sniff the
[TS]
00:26:03
◼
►
horizon how many was stuffed up and i'm
[TS]
00:26:05
◼
►
still at sniffing I approve of that i
[TS]
00:26:07
◼
►
have a friend here in Seattle who who
[TS]
00:26:09
◼
►
thinks that his post nasal drip is like
[TS]
00:26:13
◼
►
such a medical condition that it excuses
[TS]
00:26:16
◼
►
him from sitting at a white tie dinner
[TS]
00:26:18
◼
►
and going yeah he is repulsive you got
[TS]
00:26:22
◼
►
like you got to take that person aside i
[TS]
00:26:24
◼
►
want to hit him with a bat know I've
[TS]
00:26:25
◼
►
taken inside a dozen times like I have a
[TS]
00:26:27
◼
►
medical condition
[TS]
00:26:29
◼
►
you just don't hear you just have snot
[TS]
00:26:31
◼
►
on your nose and yeah nobody ever taught
[TS]
00:26:33
◼
►
you the money don't you do you grab a
[TS]
00:26:35
◼
►
Kleenex and blow your nose look at you
[TS]
00:26:36
◼
►
moment you might want and you know what
[TS]
00:26:38
◼
►
you mean is it a little bit
[TS]
00:26:40
◼
►
this is one of the many things i would
[TS]
00:26:41
◼
►
say there's at least a handful of things
[TS]
00:26:42
◼
►
that must never be done at the table
[TS]
00:26:44
◼
►
you must not speak on your phone at the
[TS]
00:26:46
◼
►
table I should leave you should leave
[TS]
00:26:48
◼
►
vision there you remember when we went
[TS]
00:26:50
◼
►
into the empty room when we had our last
[TS]
00:26:53
◼
►
fancy dinner and I needed to talk to my
[TS]
00:26:54
◼
►
lady I i need to make junk all I laughed
[TS]
00:26:57
◼
►
remember i left that I remember you
[TS]
00:26:59
◼
►
remember that creepy couple well I
[TS]
00:27:02
◼
►
didn't think they were that creepy
[TS]
00:27:03
◼
►
everybody agreed i mean they were pretty
[TS]
00:27:06
◼
►
they were super creepy she look Minnie
[TS]
00:27:07
◼
►
Mouse and he was real small
[TS]
00:27:09
◼
►
well I mean at San Francisco yeah but
[TS]
00:27:12
◼
►
people were asking me when we were down
[TS]
00:27:13
◼
►
it was because she has a broad abroad
[TS]
00:27:15
◼
►
feminist platform we just recently
[TS]
00:27:17
◼
►
played in San Francisco and people were
[TS]
00:27:19
◼
►
saying to me like wow that's a really
[TS]
00:27:21
◼
►
that was a really weird crowd like a
[TS]
00:27:23
◼
►
little really like intensely weird group
[TS]
00:27:25
◼
►
of people at that show and I said it's
[TS]
00:27:28
◼
►
San Francisco people that's where weird
[TS]
00:27:31
◼
►
people don't know what I mean let's talk
[TS]
00:27:33
◼
►
specifics here but it is that if that if
[TS]
00:27:36
◼
►
that would have to have been your first
[TS]
00:27:38
◼
►
jonathan coulton show because that is
[TS]
00:27:40
◼
►
easily the least weird audience i have
[TS]
00:27:42
◼
►
ever seen anything where Jonathan
[TS]
00:27:44
◼
►
Coulton is in the building well here he
[TS]
00:27:45
◼
►
is definitely moving away from singing
[TS]
00:27:48
◼
►
yeah butBut the you know but the there's
[TS]
00:27:50
◼
►
no there's weird but there's people John
[TS]
00:27:52
◼
►
if you eat as much as you can say are
[TS]
00:27:54
◼
►
there people who come to the shows
[TS]
00:27:55
◼
►
dressed up as nemec's we should talk
[TS]
00:27:58
◼
►
about music I don't i'm not sure you
[TS]
00:28:00
◼
►
I'm not trying to look at someone until
[TS]
00:28:01
◼
►
that they were dressed as a nemec's may
[TS]
00:28:03
◼
►
be holding a tiny little iphone um
[TS]
00:28:05
◼
►
here's the thing in any case yes mucus
[TS]
00:28:09
◼
►
well first of all you need to get up
[TS]
00:28:11
◼
►
from the table if you're going to take a
[TS]
00:28:12
◼
►
phone call you contacted maybe you need
[TS]
00:28:13
◼
►
to stand out on the sidewalk or at least
[TS]
00:28:15
◼
►
in the in the antechamber give an
[TS]
00:28:18
◼
►
opinion on using like it seems to me
[TS]
00:28:20
◼
►
that but you don't have to put your
[TS]
00:28:21
◼
►
honor I don't know what can I don't even
[TS]
00:28:22
◼
►
know what you're talking about but yes I
[TS]
00:28:24
◼
►
well my friend scott simpson had
[TS]
00:28:27
◼
►
attitude about this Kamino through this
[TS]
00:28:30
◼
►
work but he had attitude about this
[TS]
00:28:31
◼
►
awhile back that affected me deeply and
[TS]
00:28:33
◼
►
any AD paraphrasing he said something
[TS]
00:28:36
◼
►
along the lines of i will judge whether
[TS]
00:28:38
◼
►
you are a bad person based on whether
[TS]
00:28:40
◼
►
you use you type on your phone at the
[TS]
00:28:42
◼
►
table something like that and i don't
[TS]
00:28:45
◼
►
know i mean that's the thing now that
[TS]
00:28:46
◼
►
people do and I I really I kind of let
[TS]
00:28:48
◼
►
me put it this way here's my here's my
[TS]
00:28:49
◼
►
stand on this
[TS]
00:28:50
◼
►
I try really hard to not do that until
[TS]
00:28:53
◼
►
after the entrée has arrived
[TS]
00:28:55
◼
►
mmm your dad you get your phone out and
[TS]
00:28:57
◼
►
start start taking pictures of it and
[TS]
00:28:59
◼
►
tweeting it
[TS]
00:29:00
◼
►
oh no all you mean like a book by desert
[TS]
00:29:02
◼
►
with one bite out of it it's so numb
[TS]
00:29:06
◼
►
oblique and this is this is this is I
[TS]
00:29:10
◼
►
think you're hot you're costing a lot
[TS]
00:29:11
◼
►
John do you have a button over there the
[TS]
00:29:12
◼
►
chinese online help us anyway our friend
[TS]
00:29:14
◼
►
wants me to get a button he was betting
[TS]
00:29:16
◼
►
Ivy's gonna send this to deluxe cough
[TS]
00:29:18
◼
►
buttons to call funds that we can push
[TS]
00:29:20
◼
►
them to mute our feed so that we can
[TS]
00:29:22
◼
►
clear our throats in safety without
[TS]
00:29:25
◼
►
offending people's delicate ears with
[TS]
00:29:27
◼
►
the sound of our it had our head
[TS]
00:29:30
◼
►
congestion to see also i got the sense
[TS]
00:29:32
◼
►
that he's real sensitive about the
[TS]
00:29:33
◼
►
ping-pong talk to you want to still meet
[TS]
00:29:34
◼
►
that as well
[TS]
00:29:35
◼
►
well so he is not yet over little there
[TS]
00:29:38
◼
►
is America's remember the generation
[TS]
00:29:40
◼
►
that includes yours and mine
[TS]
00:29:42
◼
►
yeah but is a little bit a little bit
[TS]
00:29:44
◼
►
earlier he's a little older that's not
[TS]
00:29:46
◼
►
by much now but just remember that he
[TS]
00:29:48
◼
►
looks a lot older
[TS]
00:29:49
◼
►
yeah oh no he does not know he's a diva
[TS]
00:29:52
◼
►
he's a very very handsome man
[TS]
00:29:54
◼
►
yeah but anyway he's he's a little bit
[TS]
00:29:57
◼
►
older than us and so I think he feels
[TS]
00:29:58
◼
►
like he was really in the trenches more
[TS]
00:30:01
◼
►
than we were a it in terms of sort of
[TS]
00:30:05
◼
►
the late latter part of the civil rights
[TS]
00:30:06
◼
►
movement latter part of the the the
[TS]
00:30:09
◼
►
third-generation feminism the real part
[TS]
00:30:11
◼
►
of it all that kind of a tease feeling
[TS]
00:30:14
◼
►
that you know that we are fighting for
[TS]
00:30:16
◼
►
we are fighting to change the language
[TS]
00:30:18
◼
►
and the thinking we want to get on the
[TS]
00:30:20
◼
►
right team you want to get on the right
[TS]
00:30:22
◼
►
team and I think he he he's just a
[TS]
00:30:24
◼
►
little bit older than us and so although
[TS]
00:30:25
◼
►
he can be he can be ironic about those
[TS]
00:30:29
◼
►
things he also still feels like those
[TS]
00:30:30
◼
►
battles are important and we need to we
[TS]
00:30:33
◼
►
need to be waging them kind of at all
[TS]
00:30:35
◼
►
times we need to be vigilant over our
[TS]
00:30:37
◼
►
language and vigilant over our thought
[TS]
00:30:39
◼
►
and he's not at you and I are just a
[TS]
00:30:41
◼
►
little bit more in the camp of at you
[TS]
00:30:45
◼
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know people of other races should be
[TS]
00:30:48
◼
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sent back to their countries where they
[TS]
00:30:50
◼
►
came from and a lot of a lot happier to
[TS]
00:30:53
◼
►
marcus garvey type situation exactly
[TS]
00:30:55
◼
►
yes I go back to Liberia and start a
[TS]
00:30:57
◼
►
whole new nation
[TS]
00:30:58
◼
►
yeah i mean strain the name freedom
[TS]
00:30:59
◼
►
freedom Liberia Nigeria live which is
[TS]
00:31:04
◼
►
444 fun time to send women back to the
[TS]
00:31:07
◼
►
mall with what why in the name like well
[TS]
00:31:09
◼
►
I could just wave women just kind of
[TS]
00:31:11
◼
►
understood like that they can't have it
[TS]
00:31:13
◼
►
all know and part of not having it all
[TS]
00:31:15
◼
►
is not sure what it is
[TS]
00:31:17
◼
►
well that's I'm about to describe it i'm
[TS]
00:31:20
◼
►
about to define it you can have it is
[TS]
00:31:22
◼
►
what it is
[TS]
00:31:23
◼
►
ok you should stop whatever it is
[TS]
00:31:25
◼
►
whatever i'm complaining because your
[TS]
00:31:27
◼
►
shrill high-pitched voices being able to
[TS]
00:31:31
◼
►
that's two outs in the eighth
[TS]
00:31:32
◼
►
I know daddy needs time to think in
[TS]
00:31:35
◼
►
quiet get that song I you and your
[TS]
00:31:36
◼
►
ping-pong friends don't know if you
[TS]
00:31:38
◼
►
remember that do i send him some works
[TS]
00:31:40
◼
►
that's the price not that I saw that
[TS]
00:31:42
◼
►
that's what this is the best email
[TS]
00:31:44
◼
►
thread I've had this week because he's
[TS]
00:31:47
◼
►
two of my three favorite nobody should
[TS]
00:31:49
◼
►
use that words
[TS]
00:31:50
◼
►
yeah um so we are we up with me cons we
[TS]
00:31:54
◼
►
open for weaned and the time we were
[TS]
00:31:56
◼
►
before we know because where there's
[TS]
00:31:57
◼
►
incision and we weren't even on the
[TS]
00:31:59
◼
►
totem pole we were like we were like in
[TS]
00:32:01
◼
►
the park your local openers we were
[TS]
00:32:03
◼
►
local openers that got a hundred bucks
[TS]
00:32:05
◼
►
for the show
[TS]
00:32:06
◼
►
mm maybe fifty bucks yeah I mean
[TS]
00:32:08
◼
►
sometimes you get not you know who cares
[TS]
00:32:10
◼
►
like we all have jobs it was just it was
[TS]
00:32:11
◼
►
an honor really truly I mean in
[TS]
00:32:13
◼
►
retrospect I mean you know I'm in my
[TS]
00:32:16
◼
►
twenties and hoping for these bands that
[TS]
00:32:18
◼
►
are you know like for real you're in
[TS]
00:32:20
◼
►
your forties and you're still talking
[TS]
00:32:21
◼
►
about it so that like that like the
[TS]
00:32:23
◼
►
poster children like his second and that
[TS]
00:32:25
◼
►
wouldn't have happened if I wasn't
[TS]
00:32:26
◼
►
living in this countdown but anyway in
[TS]
00:32:28
◼
►
you know it's a dumb story is no doors
[TS]
00:32:30
◼
►
now it's a dumb story
[TS]
00:32:32
◼
►
yeah I can I gave them a present which
[TS]
00:32:33
◼
►
is creepy you shouldn't give people
[TS]
00:32:34
◼
►
presents when they're onto recently they
[TS]
00:32:35
◼
►
got either packer throw throw throw it
[TS]
00:32:37
◼
►
away sure their English but I mean
[TS]
00:32:39
◼
►
that's well now that this it is an
[TS]
00:32:42
◼
►
interesting thread though that I that I
[TS]
00:32:44
◼
►
just had not read not very long ago
[TS]
00:32:46
◼
►
which is that if someone gives you
[TS]
00:32:49
◼
►
something when you're on tour a fan
[TS]
00:32:52
◼
►
gives you something particularly
[TS]
00:32:53
◼
►
something they made either a food item
[TS]
00:32:54
◼
►
or a piece of fan art in a wicker chair
[TS]
00:32:58
◼
►
or wicker chair or like a like it's
[TS]
00:33:02
◼
►
something cast iron that they made in
[TS]
00:33:03
◼
►
their forge give a fan gives you
[TS]
00:33:06
◼
►
something on two and four church
[TS]
00:33:08
◼
►
you cannot throw it away that not ok its
[TS]
00:33:12
◼
►
finest right that luck
[TS]
00:33:14
◼
►
it's but i think it's extremely bad luck
[TS]
00:33:15
◼
►
and it's also bad faith
[TS]
00:33:17
◼
►
and it's like that listen a fan has made
[TS]
00:33:19
◼
►
this for you there is something sacred
[TS]
00:33:21
◼
►
about it but I was talking to sort of a
[TS]
00:33:24
◼
►
crew in a crew context talking to a
[TS]
00:33:28
◼
►
group of people who work which was made
[TS]
00:33:30
◼
►
up of some more musicians but some were
[TS]
00:33:32
◼
►
touring crew people and the crew people
[TS]
00:33:36
◼
►
all agreed they all said I mean the
[TS]
00:33:39
◼
►
solution to that is that you if you if
[TS]
00:33:42
◼
►
the fan has made something for you that
[TS]
00:33:43
◼
►
spooks you which witch happens they
[TS]
00:33:47
◼
►
bring something to show they're like I
[TS]
00:33:49
◼
►
made this for you and it's like oh
[TS]
00:33:50
◼
►
that's a voodoo doll that your hair or
[TS]
00:33:52
◼
►
the had something that's not that's not
[TS]
00:33:54
◼
►
a hundred percent cool with me this is a
[TS]
00:33:57
◼
►
microphone what you can do that then
[TS]
00:34:00
◼
►
this was this was the crew speaking they
[TS]
00:34:02
◼
►
were like you gift it to a member of the
[TS]
00:34:04
◼
►
crew and then the crew can do whatever
[TS]
00:34:08
◼
►
they want me to make a bong out of it
[TS]
00:34:10
◼
►
so those items of a fan material that
[TS]
00:34:14
◼
►
you get where you're like oh like I just
[TS]
00:34:17
◼
►
got a bunch of cookies that all look
[TS]
00:34:19
◼
►
like me except they have big gingerbread
[TS]
00:34:22
◼
►
penises on them and I don't want those I
[TS]
00:34:26
◼
►
don't know why somebody would make me
[TS]
00:34:28
◼
►
where do you take the first bite I
[TS]
00:34:29
◼
►
usually bite the head off but that would
[TS]
00:34:30
◼
►
be really confusing i don't want to keep
[TS]
00:34:33
◼
►
them but I don't want I definitely don't
[TS]
00:34:34
◼
►
want to just throw them away either that
[TS]
00:34:36
◼
►
seems like a really particular to the
[TS]
00:34:38
◼
►
proper cookie plane
[TS]
00:34:39
◼
►
no I'm going to talk about them anymore
[TS]
00:34:41
◼
►
but if you have them to the crew then
[TS]
00:34:44
◼
►
the then you what you have done is given
[TS]
00:34:46
◼
►
yes which like releases you from the
[TS]
00:34:49
◼
►
bond and the crew of course those people
[TS]
00:34:52
◼
►
have no he left wrist out some people
[TS]
00:34:54
◼
►
morals of that almost now and well that
[TS]
00:34:57
◼
►
but then the cookie that the penis
[TS]
00:34:59
◼
►
cookies go away and everybody is fine
[TS]
00:35:02
◼
►
maybe you distracted the crew for a
[TS]
00:35:04
◼
►
while which is not a bad idea is given
[TS]
00:35:06
◼
►
the crew something to think about and
[TS]
00:35:07
◼
►
giving them a present from our hands a
[TS]
00:35:10
◼
►
little bit you know and if it shows up
[TS]
00:35:12
◼
►
on ebay later
[TS]
00:35:13
◼
►
that's it that's on them that's not on
[TS]
00:35:15
◼
►
you yeah
[TS]
00:35:16
◼
►
so anyway it was that that's that's a
[TS]
00:35:19
◼
►
little bit of like rock-and-roll science
[TS]
00:35:21
◼
►
I don't do it up cannot throw something
[TS]
00:35:23
◼
►
away that I want to make it awkward John
[TS]
00:35:25
◼
►
but you are a strike me as a very light
[TS]
00:35:28
◼
►
packer and in a sense that you literally
[TS]
00:35:29
◼
►
wear the same thing everyday and you
[TS]
00:35:31
◼
►
have a very I think in my experience you
[TS]
00:35:32
◼
►
have a pretty easy try that bag I gave
[TS]
00:35:35
◼
►
it's kind of lame isn't it no no it's
[TS]
00:35:37
◼
►
good i just did you get this restaurant
[TS]
00:35:38
◼
►
now we found this trap we haven't given
[TS]
00:35:39
◼
►
it the next time you come up with
[TS]
00:35:41
◼
►
something you just wrap everything
[TS]
00:35:42
◼
►
strapped that's how you throw me the
[TS]
00:35:43
◼
►
cello I throw you the strap
[TS]
00:35:45
◼
►
oh that a good deal is that challenge
[TS]
00:35:47
◼
►
that challenge thing we frightened about
[TS]
00:35:48
◼
►
that you can send me a fucking joke
[TS]
00:35:49
◼
►
listen the cello is worth more than the
[TS]
00:35:51
◼
►
strap I don't think so you try to travel
[TS]
00:35:53
◼
►
with the cello and you're gonna have to
[TS]
00:35:54
◼
►
have to check that you would have to
[TS]
00:35:57
◼
►
check this your package shallow you
[TS]
00:35:59
◼
►
would not be able to pack it because it
[TS]
00:36:00
◼
►
doesn't have a case it's a it's just a
[TS]
00:36:02
◼
►
free it's a free cello to consider an
[TS]
00:36:04
◼
►
extremely honest man so I would never
[TS]
00:36:05
◼
►
want to take you to anything like a task
[TS]
00:36:07
◼
►
on this but you're telling me that you
[TS]
00:36:10
◼
►
actually sometimes take stuff with you
[TS]
00:36:13
◼
►
that people have given you that's
[TS]
00:36:14
◼
►
non-perishable if somebody made you if
[TS]
00:36:17
◼
►
you see if somebody made you a little
[TS]
00:36:18
◼
►
John a hair like would you would you
[TS]
00:36:20
◼
►
actually put that in your bag and then
[TS]
00:36:22
◼
►
where would that go to take that home
[TS]
00:36:23
◼
►
with you being honest
[TS]
00:36:24
◼
►
well yeah in fact we're back when I had
[TS]
00:36:26
◼
►
a tour van we had a kind of mean a lot
[TS]
00:36:30
◼
►
of a lot of bands with to advance the
[TS]
00:36:32
◼
►
dashboard ends up being kind of shrine
[TS]
00:36:34
◼
►
where all your old backstage passes and
[TS]
00:36:38
◼
►
little shit that fans have given you it
[TS]
00:36:40
◼
►
all gets you know death cab for cutie's
[TS]
00:36:41
◼
►
to have a have a box of peeps up there
[TS]
00:36:45
◼
►
that it melted in the sun and so it's
[TS]
00:36:47
◼
►
like a bunch of melted peach something
[TS]
00:36:48
◼
►
like a tinkerbell poster a tinkle tinkle
[TS]
00:36:51
◼
►
Bell poster benefited did she did an
[TS]
00:36:53
◼
►
entire tour sitting up on the on the
[TS]
00:36:55
◼
►
dashboard of the van
[TS]
00:36:56
◼
►
whenever I always going to ask you is it
[TS]
00:36:58
◼
►
rolled up the whole time it was rolled
[TS]
00:36:59
◼
►
up everything you nuts
[TS]
00:37:01
◼
►
no no every time one of the my bandmates
[TS]
00:37:02
◼
►
would be like what is this thing can we
[TS]
00:37:04
◼
►
get this off the dash I'd be like get
[TS]
00:37:05
◼
►
your hands off
[TS]
00:37:07
◼
►
don't touch it don't look at it like
[TS]
00:37:10
◼
►
it's not it's not there
[TS]
00:37:12
◼
►
there's no is it not like don't you
[TS]
00:37:14
◼
►
matter what it is and I'll know if you
[TS]
00:37:16
◼
►
looked at it
[TS]
00:37:17
◼
►
my mind just happened with me and it's I
[TS]
00:37:19
◼
►
got two angles on this there's the one
[TS]
00:37:21
◼
►
angle of oh my god this is like the
[TS]
00:37:22
◼
►
sweetest thing in the world that you
[TS]
00:37:24
◼
►
give me like sometimes people are really
[TS]
00:37:25
◼
►
sweet about like going to talk to
[TS]
00:37:27
◼
►
somebody gives me like a present for my
[TS]
00:37:28
◼
►
daughter or something like that and you
[TS]
00:37:30
◼
►
know I feel I and if it was in town i
[TS]
00:37:35
◼
►
would i would absolutely bring it home
[TS]
00:37:37
◼
►
but the problem is like if you've gotta
[TS]
00:37:39
◼
►
travel and like I'm already i'm such a
[TS]
00:37:41
◼
►
bad packer III really seriously like to
[TS]
00:37:43
◼
►
quote you know so I felt like Diana Ross
[TS]
00:37:45
◼
►
I have suffering so much stuff I don't
[TS]
00:37:47
◼
►
need is already packed i'm late i'm
[TS]
00:37:48
◼
►
hungover I understand what I'm telling
[TS]
00:37:51
◼
►
you is you cannot just never do it
[TS]
00:37:52
◼
►
cannot arbitrarily throw that stuff when
[TS]
00:37:55
◼
►
you consider just throwing it away in a
[TS]
00:37:56
◼
►
garbage can they wouldn't sell you have
[TS]
00:37:57
◼
►
to give it as a gift to somebody that
[TS]
00:37:59
◼
►
you have to break the spell but it but
[TS]
00:38:01
◼
►
yeah we are somebody made somebody
[TS]
00:38:04
◼
►
people used to make incredible stuff for
[TS]
00:38:06
◼
►
us i had a set of beads that said the
[TS]
00:38:09
◼
►
long winters that's so that's so sweet
[TS]
00:38:11
◼
►
and you put that somewhere in a
[TS]
00:38:12
◼
►
collection of your home i do have them
[TS]
00:38:14
◼
►
somewhere there's a there's a little
[TS]
00:38:16
◼
►
remember the old penguin shirt that we
[TS]
00:38:18
◼
►
had it was a it was a little fat pain
[TS]
00:38:20
◼
►
when on a in a circle that let's set the
[TS]
00:38:23
◼
►
long winters under it
[TS]
00:38:24
◼
►
yeah somebody made a stuffed penguin
[TS]
00:38:27
◼
►
that's how sweet now crafts I like
[TS]
00:38:30
◼
►
crafts very nice very much and i think
[TS]
00:38:32
◼
►
is my friend Moxie she gave me like a
[TS]
00:38:33
◼
►
felt finger puppet and the finger puppet
[TS]
00:38:36
◼
►
had its own finger puppet and i love it
[TS]
00:38:38
◼
►
but that's around cold water thing right
[TS]
00:38:40
◼
►
there she doesn't like that thats it
[TS]
00:38:41
◼
►
thats that would be typical of her to
[TS]
00:38:43
◼
►
teach my past if somebody I should have
[TS]
00:38:46
◼
►
had a cough button because i just made a
[TS]
00:38:47
◼
►
little snort I think you did
[TS]
00:38:49
◼
►
so why did you all over the fallout
[TS]
00:38:52
◼
►
somebody just email the state think you
[TS]
00:38:55
◼
►
did the mucus DoublePlay tinker to Evers
[TS]
00:39:00
◼
►
done it gives you a finger puppet
[TS]
00:39:03
◼
►
oh it was felt there's very little it
[TS]
00:39:04
◼
►
was very little all other dimension
[TS]
00:39:07
◼
►
ok connect can ask you just a couple
[TS]
00:39:08
◼
►
quick questions about this and I i don't
[TS]
00:39:11
◼
►
mean this to turn into a lightning round
[TS]
00:39:13
◼
►
ok so one that's easy to cross off is if
[TS]
00:39:16
◼
►
it is food you like if you if its food
[TS]
00:39:18
◼
►
you like and it doesn't seem like
[TS]
00:39:20
◼
►
there's anything weird innit
[TS]
00:39:21
◼
►
we try it maybe eat it this is the thing
[TS]
00:39:24
◼
►
that people give me food all the time
[TS]
00:39:26
◼
►
mhm have a couple of fans that I like
[TS]
00:39:28
◼
►
very much who
[TS]
00:39:29
◼
►
Tina give me food use cookies and cake
[TS]
00:39:31
◼
►
and one that is that it's really
[TS]
00:39:33
◼
►
well-made stuff and it's just delicious
[TS]
00:39:35
◼
►
and everybody loves anticipated you come
[TS]
00:39:36
◼
►
to town you gonna get cookies and cake
[TS]
00:39:38
◼
►
absolutely when in fact uh in fact there
[TS]
00:39:41
◼
►
we have a friend in San Francisco always
[TS]
00:39:43
◼
►
makes us black bottom of brownies black
[TS]
00:39:47
◼
►
bottom cupcakes that's okay it's not
[TS]
00:39:49
◼
►
ping-pong i love she is an Asian person
[TS]
00:39:51
◼
►
here so it's you do with it what you
[TS]
00:39:55
◼
►
and right now by saying nothing anywhere
[TS]
00:39:59
◼
►
but there are other times like like one
[TS]
00:40:01
◼
►
time i was i was playing in in portland
[TS]
00:40:04
◼
►
and some read students some students
[TS]
00:40:06
◼
►
from reed college came and get an had a
[TS]
00:40:10
◼
►
bunch of cupcakes and over like we made
[TS]
00:40:12
◼
►
these cupcakes and I was like Reed is
[TS]
00:40:16
◼
►
the type of place where people would put
[TS]
00:40:17
◼
►
LSD and cupcakes and give them to a band
[TS]
00:40:19
◼
►
i want you know eggs i feel like right
[TS]
00:40:22
◼
►
and no eggs no no animals were were
[TS]
00:40:25
◼
►
enslaved to make these LSD cupcakes that
[TS]
00:40:28
◼
►
was made from wheat grass and hash so I
[TS]
00:40:31
◼
►
was so I said to them from the stage was
[TS]
00:40:33
◼
►
like you don't have there are no LSDs in
[TS]
00:40:36
◼
►
these cupcakes are they
[TS]
00:40:38
◼
►
oregon and they they all were like haha
[TS]
00:40:43
◼
►
no no way T let's not evil i'm giving
[TS]
00:40:48
◼
►
these to the crew is and you know I've
[TS]
00:40:50
◼
►
never better crew person that wouldn't
[TS]
00:40:51
◼
►
eat a vegan LSD cupcake I could eat an
[TS]
00:40:54
◼
►
sm57 a lot of them look at this I'm
[TS]
00:40:57
◼
►
gonna check i'm gonna check out food
[TS]
00:40:58
◼
►
food comma ok food now what and i'm
[TS]
00:41:02
◼
►
going to click and mail chip cookies are
[TS]
00:41:03
◼
►
always all boy i love it i love a cookie
[TS]
00:41:05
◼
►
and let's be nice for you know I I don't
[TS]
00:41:08
◼
►
do this as much anymore because you
[TS]
00:41:09
◼
►
always say no but the one exception of
[TS]
00:41:11
◼
►
the time you're desperately ill and I
[TS]
00:41:12
◼
►
brought you some cold medicine I in the
[TS]
00:41:14
◼
►
past I used to always ask do you need
[TS]
00:41:16
◼
►
anything
[TS]
00:41:17
◼
►
you probably got the areas and pics but
[TS]
00:41:19
◼
►
like do you is there anything I can
[TS]
00:41:20
◼
►
bring you that would bring you comfort
[TS]
00:41:21
◼
►
and you always say no because you're
[TS]
00:41:23
◼
►
gentlemen but you know I it must be you
[TS]
00:41:25
◼
►
want to have that comfort when you
[TS]
00:41:26
◼
►
arrive somewhere and if you've got a
[TS]
00:41:28
◼
►
cake waiting for you in a room like you
[TS]
00:41:30
◼
►
don't touch that alcohol I think I don't
[TS]
00:41:31
◼
►
like five years by the way you're
[TS]
00:41:33
◼
►
welcome to them
[TS]
00:41:34
◼
►
yeah yeah it's gotten pretty much
[TS]
00:41:36
◼
►
cleaned at you Jonathan you got you
[TS]
00:41:38
◼
►
you guys did good you made sure there
[TS]
00:41:40
◼
►
was no Brandi left he made sure there
[TS]
00:41:42
◼
►
no I'm writing on subway on a card I
[TS]
00:41:44
◼
►
mean you know the last time I saw you
[TS]
00:41:45
◼
►
you were standing on the street in front
[TS]
00:41:47
◼
►
of a subway and you doing brother open
[TS]
00:41:50
◼
►
superseries front of an open sewer and
[TS]
00:41:52
◼
►
you were eating the last of for Subway
[TS]
00:41:53
◼
►
sandwiches huh
[TS]
00:41:57
◼
►
now what that remember i would have been
[TS]
00:41:59
◼
►
back for more let's go yeah we did
[TS]
00:42:01
◼
►
you're like hey this party's really
[TS]
00:42:02
◼
►
going anywhere to eat it with be better
[TS]
00:42:05
◼
►
like god it stinks it smells like shit
[TS]
00:42:08
◼
►
and piss in this on the sidewalk and
[TS]
00:42:10
◼
►
you're like I'm going for more damages I
[TS]
00:42:12
◼
►
thought you guys were going to have them
[TS]
00:42:13
◼
►
with me some stay there like a dope with
[TS]
00:42:15
◼
►
this plastic bag full of like crappy
[TS]
00:42:17
◼
►
sandwiches at two in the morning anyway
[TS]
00:42:19
◼
►
um so if I can just I want to make it a
[TS]
00:42:21
◼
►
little suitcase somewhere I can cross
[TS]
00:42:22
◼
►
that off thank you em behind I don't
[TS]
00:42:25
◼
►
smoke but thank you for tuning that I
[TS]
00:42:26
◼
►
two more okay how about this
[TS]
00:42:29
◼
►
so this is the one this is the one I
[TS]
00:42:30
◼
►
have a problem with and I struggle with
[TS]
00:42:32
◼
►
this because everywhere you go
[TS]
00:42:34
◼
►
somebody's got a shirt and and it's it's
[TS]
00:42:36
◼
►
kind of and it is super nice thing but
[TS]
00:42:39
◼
►
like I personally I want to give you a
[TS]
00:42:42
◼
►
starting to think yeah exactly starting
[TS]
00:42:45
◼
►
in 2006 i turned a corner because i used
[TS]
00:42:48
◼
►
to be rock and roll short guy like I
[TS]
00:42:49
◼
►
always wanna rock'n'roll shirt and I
[TS]
00:42:50
◼
►
mean I had really really really good
[TS]
00:42:52
◼
►
shirts and yeah you did I might have had
[TS]
00:42:58
◼
►
a leader Egypt and I remember anyway
[TS]
00:43:01
◼
►
yeah you know you know what you know
[TS]
00:43:03
◼
►
what have you seen that I had in my
[TS]
00:43:04
◼
►
heart makin sure I totally did
[TS]
00:43:06
◼
►
yeah yeah had a bacon stain on it my
[TS]
00:43:07
◼
►
payment shirt with a cool one the green
[TS]
00:43:09
◼
►
one I had bacon stain on it or I had a
[TS]
00:43:12
◼
►
dump trucks your that's weird bacon
[TS]
00:43:14
◼
►
yeah the making because you had a really
[TS]
00:43:16
◼
►
cool down structured a really cool
[TS]
00:43:18
◼
►
replacement you know what I said I said
[TS]
00:43:19
◼
►
this is it this is done this is this is
[TS]
00:43:21
◼
►
silly i'm at the time I was like 50 and
[TS]
00:43:23
◼
►
I said I got to get rid of these i get
[TS]
00:43:25
◼
►
rid of them
[TS]
00:43:26
◼
►
I did I I got all I took photos of a lot
[TS]
00:43:29
◼
►
of them like my archers of loaf shirt i
[TS]
00:43:31
◼
►
knew i was gonna miss that was really
[TS]
00:43:32
◼
►
nice like long-sleeve when they made
[TS]
00:43:34
◼
►
nice shirts you know guy dribbles you
[TS]
00:43:37
◼
►
don't just put in a you didn't just put
[TS]
00:43:38
◼
►
it in a box and put it in the added
[TS]
00:43:39
◼
►
value that actually the point is the
[TS]
00:43:41
◼
►
stop putting things in boxes John that
[TS]
00:43:43
◼
►
was the point of our purge and I made a
[TS]
00:43:45
◼
►
lot of tough decisions i got rid of some
[TS]
00:43:47
◼
►
nice bags you know what what what a good
[TS]
00:43:49
◼
►
solution to that is I will see quilts
[TS]
00:43:52
◼
►
and pillows and quilts right you're hit
[TS]
00:43:54
◼
►
you're here
[TS]
00:43:55
◼
►
hip to the sentencing creepy at all to
[TS]
00:43:56
◼
►
make it making sure the quality of your
[TS]
00:43:57
◼
►
own shirts rock-and-roll band shirt for
[TS]
00:44:01
◼
►
you what do you put that though you put
[TS]
00:44:02
◼
►
it on your bed like a gentleman you put
[TS]
00:44:05
◼
►
it on your bed and you pull it up under
[TS]
00:44:06
◼
►
your chin when you're cold in the winter
[TS]
00:44:08
◼
►
you know what I wish I could go back
[TS]
00:44:09
◼
►
the point is I turned a corner I said
[TS]
00:44:10
◼
►
look I really white shirts that don't
[TS]
00:44:13
◼
►
have yellow pits and I need to buy new
[TS]
00:44:15
◼
►
ones i need to have I mean I'm a man now
[TS]
00:44:17
◼
►
i can have all the stuff I got rid of
[TS]
00:44:19
◼
►
them and the thing is when i did that
[TS]
00:44:20
◼
►
and I made that difficult decision of
[TS]
00:44:22
◼
►
getting rid of the dump truck sure which
[TS]
00:44:23
◼
►
really was discussing it was from like
[TS]
00:44:25
◼
►
1988 and was totally gross right and
[TS]
00:44:27
◼
►
that was still wearing it you know and
[TS]
00:44:29
◼
►
i'm like a family and so excuse me I'm
[TS]
00:44:32
◼
►
gonna wish you hadn't melted my bros
[TS]
00:44:33
◼
►
pretty late into your thirties I would I
[TS]
00:44:36
◼
►
don't think we're done i don't think
[TS]
00:44:37
◼
►
we're done with that trip yeah i really
[TS]
00:44:38
◼
►
don't i mean if i could if i can eat
[TS]
00:44:40
◼
►
that many sandwiches in front of an open
[TS]
00:44:41
◼
►
sewer with you I i got the things i need
[TS]
00:44:45
◼
►
to get their PMT's to they were done
[TS]
00:44:47
◼
►
with all any fall and you're like I bet
[TS]
00:44:50
◼
►
you're getting extra monkey peppers on
[TS]
00:44:52
◼
►
him or something you like giving your bb
[TS]
00:44:54
◼
►
mt with extra might have a side of
[TS]
00:44:56
◼
►
subway system that if you were not too
[TS]
00:44:57
◼
►
snarky i would share with you because
[TS]
00:44:59
◼
►
starbucks and subway is all you can
[TS]
00:45:01
◼
►
count on when you travel and i will give
[TS]
00:45:02
◼
►
you advice that you will not take
[TS]
00:45:03
◼
►
somebody move on i want a subway
[TS]
00:45:05
◼
►
sandwich at subway in bellingham
[TS]
00:45:07
◼
►
washington right before going into
[TS]
00:45:08
◼
►
Canada their knowledge eyes I had it
[TS]
00:45:10
◼
►
didn't because it was American but I had
[TS]
00:45:12
◼
►
explosive poops haha two days afterwards
[TS]
00:45:16
◼
►
and I didn't have banana peppers banana
[TS]
00:45:17
◼
►
peppers I gonna get banana peppers and
[TS]
00:45:19
◼
►
I'm not gonna eat there anymore and I
[TS]
00:45:21
◼
►
did meet there for like eight years
[TS]
00:45:22
◼
►
until standing on the street corner on
[TS]
00:45:26
◼
►
on marketing in san francisco CA where
[TS]
00:45:28
◼
►
is a totally sketchy neighborhood in
[TS]
00:45:31
◼
►
instances yeah but it wasn't able to get
[TS]
00:45:33
◼
►
the sewer with a lot and you're the only
[TS]
00:45:35
◼
►
guy in the entire group that could even
[TS]
00:45:37
◼
►
conceivably handle being punched by
[TS]
00:45:38
◼
►
somebody i was also the only guy that
[TS]
00:45:40
◼
►
wasn't like switch swilling off of a
[TS]
00:45:43
◼
►
brandy bottle in the been on the side
[TS]
00:45:45
◼
►
have no recollection of any that John I
[TS]
00:45:46
◼
►
don't think that happened it wasn't it
[TS]
00:45:48
◼
►
was a constant so the point is like I
[TS]
00:45:50
◼
►
love people and I love their companies
[TS]
00:45:53
◼
►
and I love their website they're all
[TS]
00:45:54
◼
►
good people but like I just bring your
[TS]
00:45:57
◼
►
t-shirt that is a relatively inexpensive
[TS]
00:45:59
◼
►
shirt with the logo of a company on it
[TS]
00:46:02
◼
►
here's the problem now I gotta carry
[TS]
00:46:04
◼
►
oh yeah now that you know what I feel
[TS]
00:46:06
◼
►
like the exception to this is when
[TS]
00:46:08
◼
►
somebody gives you swag from theirs from
[TS]
00:46:11
◼
►
their company you can put that
[TS]
00:46:13
◼
►
immediately in the garbage
[TS]
00:46:15
◼
►
okay that is not a fan so if you get up
[TS]
00:46:18
◼
►
she not get a cheap pen or a paperweight
[TS]
00:46:20
◼
►
or like a bottle opener guard balls are
[TS]
00:46:23
◼
►
Bosh ok alright well good i don't see
[TS]
00:46:25
◼
►
what I'm saying now that did this isn't
[TS]
00:46:27
◼
►
does not put a anything like a lie to
[TS]
00:46:29
◼
►
your system it's a fan has made
[TS]
00:46:31
◼
►
something beautiful for you i'm not
[TS]
00:46:34
◼
►
talking about that I'm talking I'm
[TS]
00:46:35
◼
►
talking about and get something like
[TS]
00:46:37
◼
►
this number three because number three
[TS]
00:46:38
◼
►
is going to be I really want to hear
[TS]
00:46:39
◼
►
your advice on number three are no but I
[TS]
00:46:41
◼
►
feel like I feel like any kind of
[TS]
00:46:43
◼
►
company swag like here's something
[TS]
00:46:45
◼
►
that's been happening to me recently
[TS]
00:46:46
◼
►
that is that is really really that is
[TS]
00:46:49
◼
►
really trying my gears i do not have
[TS]
00:46:52
◼
►
enough oil and I have enough machine oil
[TS]
00:46:54
◼
►
in the world to keep my gears running
[TS]
00:46:56
◼
►
smoothly and somebody comes up to me at
[TS]
00:46:58
◼
►
a show and says hi I'm make instruments
[TS]
00:47:02
◼
►
i make effects pedals or I make guitars
[TS]
00:47:06
◼
►
and i would like to make a guitar for
[TS]
00:47:09
◼
►
you and I go wow that's amazing really
[TS]
00:47:14
◼
►
they're like yes I make guitars and i'm
[TS]
00:47:16
◼
►
a big fan of you and I want to make you
[TS]
00:47:18
◼
►
a guitar and I go wow I would love for
[TS]
00:47:21
◼
►
you to make me a guitar and they go
[TS]
00:47:23
◼
►
great can I have your email address and
[TS]
00:47:25
◼
►
I'll to contact you and we'll talk about
[TS]
00:47:27
◼
►
it and I'm like that's fantastic here's
[TS]
00:47:29
◼
►
my email address and then the next day
[TS]
00:47:31
◼
►
they sent me an email that says great
[TS]
00:47:34
◼
►
well i'm gonna start working on your
[TS]
00:47:35
◼
►
guitar and let's talk about artists
[TS]
00:47:36
◼
►
pricing
[TS]
00:47:37
◼
►
oh come on and I'm like artists pricing
[TS]
00:47:41
◼
►
here is what you said I'm going to make
[TS]
00:47:44
◼
►
your guitar that means you are going to
[TS]
00:47:45
◼
►
make me a guitar and give it to me that
[TS]
00:47:47
◼
►
does not mean that you are going to sell
[TS]
00:47:49
◼
►
me a guitar that is not what I let me
[TS]
00:47:52
◼
►
make you guitar means yeah and and that
[TS]
00:47:55
◼
►
is a that is I think I'm much more
[TS]
00:47:56
◼
►
common thing now where people are like I
[TS]
00:47:58
◼
►
love you and I really want to make you
[TS]
00:47:59
◼
►
something great get started okay here's
[TS]
00:48:02
◼
►
my price because this straight straight
[TS]
00:48:03
◼
►
in number three if i could get the risk
[TS]
00:48:05
◼
►
of courting a neologism that is not a
[TS]
00:48:08
◼
►
gift that is a grift a grift that is
[TS]
00:48:10
◼
►
that is a grift because it feels like a
[TS]
00:48:12
◼
►
gift but it's actually a little bit
[TS]
00:48:13
◼
►
scroogie so here's number three okay so
[TS]
00:48:16
◼
►
you say yes
[TS]
00:48:17
◼
►
probably maybe to food that's a
[TS]
00:48:18
◼
►
case-by-case basis depends on a lot of
[TS]
00:48:20
◼
►
factors you know what you have to look
[TS]
00:48:21
◼
►
into the eyes of someone who's giving
[TS]
00:48:22
◼
►
you food
[TS]
00:48:23
◼
►
oh you can see you can see did the pools
[TS]
00:48:25
◼
►
of concern
[TS]
00:48:26
◼
►
it's like it's like the the way the
[TS]
00:48:28
◼
►
Israelis handle airport security they
[TS]
00:48:31
◼
►
don't make everyone a speaker shoes off
[TS]
00:48:33
◼
►
they just stand out in front of the
[TS]
00:48:34
◼
►
airport and they look everybody in the
[TS]
00:48:36
◼
►
eye as they're walking in that you get
[TS]
00:48:38
◼
►
good at that you get really good at it
[TS]
00:48:40
◼
►
and the thing is if you're going to blow
[TS]
00:48:41
◼
►
up a plane and you're walking into an
[TS]
00:48:43
◼
►
airport and some a sum like young army
[TS]
00:48:46
◼
►
guy looks you in the eye you give it all
[TS]
00:48:48
◼
►
away i don't care what how much of a
[TS]
00:48:50
◼
►
sociopath you are you give it all away
[TS]
00:48:52
◼
►
you cannot going to look something I'd
[TS]
00:48:54
◼
►
be like to do with your mom here because
[TS]
00:48:56
◼
►
the thing is like no eye contact that
[TS]
00:48:59
◼
►
can be sketchy when too much eye contact
[TS]
00:49:01
◼
►
you been practicing
[TS]
00:49:02
◼
►
that's right these guys aren't these
[TS]
00:49:03
◼
►
guys are trained to pull you aside and
[TS]
00:49:05
◼
►
say you know whose shoes were gonna take
[TS]
00:49:07
◼
►
off your shoes and you know who's we're
[TS]
00:49:09
◼
►
not gonna take off the little old lady
[TS]
00:49:11
◼
►
who doesn't mean you know we missed a
[TS]
00:49:13
◼
►
wiener we missed a fucking flight on
[TS]
00:49:15
◼
►
this last to her because the TSA it
[TS]
00:49:18
◼
►
goddamn minneapolis doesn't it as
[TS]
00:49:22
◼
►
seriously could not solve a simple to
[TS]
00:49:25
◼
►
Doku this TSA a lot of Methodist this
[TS]
00:49:29
◼
►
misty as they could not figure out how
[TS]
00:49:32
◼
►
to get the other toilet paper roll in
[TS]
00:49:34
◼
►
one of those double toilet paper roll
[TS]
00:49:36
◼
►
systems in a public bathroom they could
[TS]
00:49:38
◼
►
not figure out how to get that other
[TS]
00:49:40
◼
►
toilet paper roll over when the first
[TS]
00:49:42
◼
►
toilet paper rolls out Caroline that
[TS]
00:49:44
◼
►
they are listening to a tsa that I've
[TS]
00:49:46
◼
►
ever seen and they literally actually
[TS]
00:49:48
◼
►
said to us when we complained
[TS]
00:49:51
◼
►
we're not in the customer service
[TS]
00:49:53
◼
►
business
[TS]
00:49:54
◼
►
oh boy wrong thing to say and I swear to
[TS]
00:49:58
◼
►
God I it took everything in my power the
[TS]
00:50:01
◼
►
only reason I did not give a long
[TS]
00:50:03
◼
►
lecture the only reason i did not stand
[TS]
00:50:05
◼
►
up on the conveyor belt and a long
[TS]
00:50:07
◼
►
lecture is because i knew i would be
[TS]
00:50:09
◼
►
pulled down and put into a jail that's
[TS]
00:50:12
◼
►
the only TV which you eat walking you
[TS]
00:50:14
◼
►
can click its I would be for keeping
[TS]
00:50:17
◼
►
plays until they turned it off
[TS]
00:50:19
◼
►
I be standing there walking in place
[TS]
00:50:21
◼
►
saying people of America but i knew i
[TS]
00:50:25
◼
►
would be put into a jail and so I kept
[TS]
00:50:27
◼
►
my mouth shut but you also inconvenience
[TS]
00:50:29
◼
►
everybody writing computer
[TS]
00:50:30
◼
►
doesn't work because now they got value
[TS]
00:50:32
◼
►
out but not have been more inconvenient
[TS]
00:50:34
◼
►
than we were inconvenienced by this
[TS]
00:50:35
◼
►
incompetent tsa who are fighting the
[TS]
00:50:37
◼
►
last war but anyway in case it was the
[TS]
00:50:40
◼
►
only time in my whole life this has
[TS]
00:50:41
◼
►
happened when i got to the gate and they
[TS]
00:50:43
◼
►
had closed the gate five minutes before
[TS]
00:50:44
◼
►
because we spent an hour at TSA GYN even
[TS]
00:50:48
◼
►
tried I've at all
[TS]
00:50:49
◼
►
oh I mean I told the woman at the gate I
[TS]
00:50:52
◼
►
was like you know my dad my dad would
[TS]
00:50:55
◼
►
have this that plane back here and she
[TS]
00:50:58
◼
►
was like yeah a lot of things have
[TS]
00:51:00
◼
►
changed since the seventies and I was
[TS]
00:51:02
◼
►
like no I'm serious if my dad was alive
[TS]
00:51:05
◼
►
yeah we open this you would be opening
[TS]
00:51:07
◼
►
this for me that is the most flaccid
[TS]
00:51:09
◼
►
satisfaction demand I've ever heard i
[TS]
00:51:12
◼
►
could just see him going to know what
[TS]
00:51:13
◼
►
color I go sit down
[TS]
00:51:14
◼
►
ya know they were I mean we were all
[TS]
00:51:16
◼
►
laughing she was like yeah i mean in the
[TS]
00:51:18
◼
►
old days they would have brought it back
[TS]
00:51:19
◼
►
and they probably would've given you
[TS]
00:51:20
◼
►
guys free drinks now but everything's
[TS]
00:51:22
◼
►
everything's changed everything's
[TS]
00:51:23
◼
►
changing the plane is going and she's
[TS]
00:51:25
◼
►
like she points out the windshield like
[TS]
00:51:26
◼
►
see that the plane still here
[TS]
00:51:28
◼
►
it's still connected to the building
[TS]
00:51:29
◼
►
known open the door to door is shut and
[TS]
00:51:33
◼
►
it shuts ask me again
[TS]
00:51:35
◼
►
mitten it say all the things in the
[TS]
00:51:37
◼
►
world you want to say but this door
[TS]
00:51:38
◼
►
could not be more shut there aren't done
[TS]
00:51:41
◼
►
more shot far the phone call your dad
[TS]
00:51:43
◼
►
and I don't like facing back and forth i
[TS]
00:51:47
◼
►
was thinking maybe I should go back to
[TS]
00:51:49
◼
►
TSA and give that speech in any case
[TS]
00:51:51
◼
►
let's go back through my father
[TS]
00:51:54
◼
►
ja shot a Japanese zero out of the sky
[TS]
00:51:57
◼
►
with a 45 he wasn't supposed to have
[TS]
00:52:00
◼
►
through the window of his god damn
[TS]
00:52:02
◼
►
airplane was moving and you people
[TS]
00:52:06
◼
►
God isn't a training day it's a subway
[TS]
00:52:11
◼
►
sandwich falling from your beard but
[TS]
00:52:12
◼
►
this is the thing about taking food from
[TS]
00:52:14
◼
►
people at rock so you look at any eyes
[TS]
00:52:16
◼
►
looking like you look you give them
[TS]
00:52:18
◼
►
Israeli eyes you look at him like a like
[TS]
00:52:21
◼
►
a member of the Israeli airport command
[TS]
00:52:24
◼
►
given Israeli as nice thing is that a
[TS]
00:52:27
◼
►
you say are you carrying a bomb do your
[TS]
00:52:31
◼
►
cupcakes LSD and you and nine times out
[TS]
00:52:34
◼
►
of ten 99.999 percent of the time you're
[TS]
00:52:37
◼
►
going to get you're gonna get all you
[TS]
00:52:38
◼
►
know all you need to know through their
[TS]
00:52:41
◼
►
well this is probably covered in that
[TS]
00:52:43
◼
►
first of all this is a fantastic tip for
[TS]
00:52:45
◼
►
like a million things but I'm guessing
[TS]
00:52:48
◼
►
this is probably covered in your special
[TS]
00:52:49
◼
►
forces book i think this is part of
[TS]
00:52:51
◼
►
interrogation I i think this is part of
[TS]
00:52:54
◼
►
you know this phony baloney lie-detector
[TS]
00:52:57
◼
►
I think the problem is you mix it up
[TS]
00:52:58
◼
►
right you ask him a question like are
[TS]
00:53:00
◼
►
you okay look at me are you a long
[TS]
00:53:02
◼
►
winter show right now
[TS]
00:53:03
◼
►
yes yes are you did you make your own
[TS]
00:53:06
◼
►
clothes
[TS]
00:53:06
◼
►
yes is there always be in my kids
[TS]
00:53:09
◼
►
they'll stay in the cupcakes know your
[TS]
00:53:13
◼
►
mother's name Sally gonna mix it up and
[TS]
00:53:16
◼
►
you call them for a long time before you
[TS]
00:53:17
◼
►
said know exactly you took to let you
[TS]
00:53:20
◼
►
took too long i'm not touching the cakes
[TS]
00:53:21
◼
►
and I bet you that's what the Israeli
[TS]
00:53:23
◼
►
guys do here's the problem also with
[TS]
00:53:24
◼
►
this nonsense you're talking about and
[TS]
00:53:26
◼
►
that you know and I hate talking about
[TS]
00:53:28
◼
►
travel except i hate it so much
[TS]
00:53:30
◼
►
no se SI thing it's just it's just the
[TS]
00:53:32
◼
►
worst because first of all of these
[TS]
00:53:33
◼
►
folks you know they're not actually like
[TS]
00:53:38
◼
►
police officers right you understand
[TS]
00:53:39
◼
►
that they're they're basically like bank
[TS]
00:53:40
◼
►
tellers with fake uniforms are you
[TS]
00:53:42
◼
►
asking me because yes i dunno ok alright
[TS]
00:53:44
◼
►
these people these people could not get
[TS]
00:53:46
◼
►
jobs on a ball that i'm not at all I
[TS]
00:53:49
◼
►
mean like not not you're not saying just
[TS]
00:53:51
◼
►
a security guard you're saying they
[TS]
00:53:52
◼
►
couldn't be at the info booth they
[TS]
00:53:53
◼
►
couldn't be in Julie's I could make a
[TS]
00:53:55
◼
►
knot practicals and it cuts me at the
[TS]
00:53:56
◼
►
bead store the thing here's the here's
[TS]
00:53:58
◼
►
the problem
[TS]
00:53:59
◼
►
okay here's the thing this is this is
[TS]
00:54:02
◼
►
the thing that pisses me off the Central
[TS]
00:54:04
◼
►
Intelligence Agency will not hire you if
[TS]
00:54:09
◼
►
you have smoked marijuana or set a bad
[TS]
00:54:13
◼
►
thing on the internet about America or
[TS]
00:54:17
◼
►
done anything other than be a total
[TS]
00:54:19
◼
►
straight-arrow all the way through
[TS]
00:54:21
◼
►
school and go to Yale and be like a
[TS]
00:54:25
◼
►
complete ramrod up your rectum
[TS]
00:54:28
◼
►
mhm that's the only way you're going to
[TS]
00:54:29
◼
►
get it all makes sense
[TS]
00:54:31
◼
►
merely on the surface only on the
[TS]
00:54:33
◼
►
surface doesn't make sense you're like
[TS]
00:54:35
◼
►
so much less sense in the day-to-day
[TS]
00:54:37
◼
►
affairs of the CIA agent that is such a
[TS]
00:54:39
◼
►
terrible idea
[TS]
00:54:40
◼
►
correct if you are it might be good for
[TS]
00:54:42
◼
►
a minister that's terrible for somebody
[TS]
00:54:44
◼
►
who has to think like one of the folks
[TS]
00:54:46
◼
►
there trying to defeat if you are in the
[TS]
00:54:48
◼
►
field there is there is probably no
[TS]
00:54:51
◼
►
better CIA agent that a guy who smoked a
[TS]
00:54:53
◼
►
bunch of weed
[TS]
00:54:55
◼
►
and as a periodically trafficked in like
[TS]
00:55:00
◼
►
Rare tortoises and you know like and was
[TS]
00:55:05
◼
►
maybe a white slave trader for a while
[TS]
00:55:07
◼
►
like these are the God quit he quit he
[TS]
00:55:10
◼
►
quit because his love America compelled
[TS]
00:55:13
◼
►
him to go to work like the idea that
[TS]
00:55:15
◼
►
he's still a little bit of a wild card I
[TS]
00:55:17
◼
►
know I'm in no position to run the CIA
[TS]
00:55:19
◼
►
and I don't want to pander but if it
[TS]
00:55:21
◼
►
were me and I were looking at some
[TS]
00:55:22
◼
►
resumes or not resumes maybe i'm looking
[TS]
00:55:25
◼
►
at something that's been written on a
[TS]
00:55:26
◼
►
garbage can lid that ends up being much
[TS]
00:55:27
◼
►
more effective this person says you know
[TS]
00:55:29
◼
►
what I used to have a crippling problem
[TS]
00:55:32
◼
►
with alcohol and drugs i have made a lot
[TS]
00:55:34
◼
►
of people's life hell and I'm not afraid
[TS]
00:55:37
◼
►
to blow something up from in the right
[TS]
00:55:38
◼
►
mood you know why do i say I is fill out
[TS]
00:55:41
◼
►
some forms you're well informed
[TS]
00:55:42
◼
►
hello you don't exist will disavow all
[TS]
00:55:44
◼
►
knowledge of you but we need you
[TS]
00:55:46
◼
►
garbage anyway how many people have you
[TS]
00:55:48
◼
►
killed with scissors that is a question
[TS]
00:55:51
◼
►
that I I think should be on this year
[TS]
00:55:53
◼
►
because you know here's the thing it's
[TS]
00:55:55
◼
►
like the David Allen says write the
[TS]
00:55:56
◼
►
worst time to train for getting jumped
[TS]
00:55:57
◼
►
in an alley is when you're getting
[TS]
00:55:59
◼
►
jumped in an alley he's killed a lot of
[TS]
00:56:00
◼
►
people with scissors you get the
[TS]
00:56:02
◼
►
confidence to start killing people with
[TS]
00:56:03
◼
►
children scissors
[TS]
00:56:04
◼
►
once you kill people children scissors
[TS]
00:56:06
◼
►
he misses me yes it precisely precisely
[TS]
00:56:08
◼
►
left-handed safety scissors
[TS]
00:56:10
◼
►
those are hard you your paper gets all
[TS]
00:56:11
◼
►
screwed up and then how about this you
[TS]
00:56:12
◼
►
move to mechanical pencils and then you
[TS]
00:56:14
◼
►
move your fucking pinky pinky only
[TS]
00:56:16
◼
►
eyeball no fucking chemical pencils you
[TS]
00:56:18
◼
►
like him at all
[TS]
00:56:19
◼
►
oh I had these ones i really like a lot
[TS]
00:56:21
◼
►
they're called golden bears they're
[TS]
00:56:23
◼
►
really help you but you know there's a
[TS]
00:56:24
◼
►
part of you that's like Japanese that
[TS]
00:56:26
◼
►
part of you that's your problem is so
[TS]
00:56:28
◼
►
much Japanese your Japanese there's a
[TS]
00:56:30
◼
►
little better you that's Japanese your
[TS]
00:56:31
◼
►
problem is you're not you are deeply
[TS]
00:56:32
◼
►
french in a way that you have never
[TS]
00:56:34
◼
►
accepted
[TS]
00:56:34
◼
►
that's not true a third problem the only
[TS]
00:56:37
◼
►
part of me that's French is that when i
[TS]
00:56:39
◼
►
invade France yeah I get a little bit of
[TS]
00:56:41
◼
►
it on me and you give it some tongue I
[TS]
00:56:44
◼
►
do third-level grilled what's the third
[TS]
00:56:46
◼
►
level of rift ok and i have a frenemy
[TS]
00:56:50
◼
►
who does this is it is your nemesis now
[TS]
00:56:55
◼
►
he does deserve to be mrs. nobody's
[TS]
00:56:57
◼
►
there i have not yet met the person who
[TS]
00:56:59
◼
►
deserves to be my nemesis the problem is
[TS]
00:57:01
◼
►
only a nemesis oh you kidding me
[TS]
00:57:03
◼
►
my nemesis must be earned because I'm
[TS]
00:57:05
◼
►
trying to figure out what an evil Merlin
[TS]
00:57:07
◼
►
man would look like I guess pretty much
[TS]
00:57:09
◼
►
like me with glasses glasses something
[TS]
00:57:12
◼
►
now I system through muy this beautiful
[TS]
00:57:14
◼
►
beautiful glasses you gave me I never
[TS]
00:57:16
◼
►
told you about this
[TS]
00:57:17
◼
►
yeah well i know i'm trying to block it
[TS]
00:57:19
◼
►
out john III you should see the shit I'm
[TS]
00:57:21
◼
►
wearing now it's ridiculous it's
[TS]
00:57:22
◼
►
ridiculous it's not some warby parker
[TS]
00:57:24
◼
►
horse crap is it
[TS]
00:57:26
◼
►
here's the thing the guy who gives you
[TS]
00:57:31
◼
►
the gift
[TS]
00:57:32
◼
►
yeah of his checkbook was a chapbook
[TS]
00:57:35
◼
►
it's a self-published book of his poems
[TS]
00:57:39
◼
►
or essays
[TS]
00:57:41
◼
►
happy fucking birthday uh haha ok so I
[TS]
00:57:46
◼
►
know a guy and I this is this is my hand
[TS]
00:57:48
◼
►
my hand my hand to God he came to to an
[TS]
00:57:52
◼
►
event might have been like a
[TS]
00:57:53
◼
►
housewarming it was the flimsiest is the
[TS]
00:57:56
◼
►
flimsiest grift I've ever seen because
[TS]
00:57:57
◼
►
he shows up and if I just to define this
[TS]
00:58:00
◼
►
front of me in one word it would be
[TS]
00:58:03
◼
►
that's gonna be squeezed his way over
[TS]
00:58:05
◼
►
and he hands me a hastily wrapped gift
[TS]
00:58:09
◼
►
and goes i hope you enjoy this and and
[TS]
00:58:12
◼
►
it's a a signed copy of his perfect
[TS]
00:58:15
◼
►
mound like at kinkos a book of things
[TS]
00:58:17
◼
►
that he's written oh there's a lot
[TS]
00:58:19
◼
►
there's a lot of white space and of
[TS]
00:58:21
◼
►
course it's a little bit you know the
[TS]
00:58:23
◼
►
typefaces are a little office cute
[TS]
00:58:24
◼
►
because he basically xeroxed it
[TS]
00:58:26
◼
►
oh my God thank you so much this is so
[TS]
00:58:27
◼
►
nice and of course just just to be clear
[TS]
00:58:29
◼
►
he also in his large coat brought three
[TS]
00:58:31
◼
►
or four extra copies in case anybody
[TS]
00:58:32
◼
►
want to buy one oh that's thoughtful is
[TS]
00:58:35
◼
►
doing ten bucks for you right
[TS]
00:58:37
◼
►
okay i want to give you that copies
[TS]
00:58:39
◼
►
armed for free because like I mean what
[TS]
00:58:43
◼
►
do you say I mean like it i mean a man
[TS]
00:58:46
◼
►
like you you enjoy present right youyou
[TS]
00:58:49
◼
►
sounds to me like you're very gracious
[TS]
00:58:50
◼
►
about receiving a present
[TS]
00:58:51
◼
►
you know a true gift right but in that
[TS]
00:58:54
◼
►
instance let the reason I asked you here
[TS]
00:58:55
◼
►
for the third level grift you you're out
[TS]
00:58:57
◼
►
of show you got stuff you're already
[TS]
00:58:59
◼
►
carrying your you got a wicker basket
[TS]
00:59:00
◼
►
you got some you got some psychedelic
[TS]
00:59:02
◼
►
cupcakes you might have a hair doll that
[TS]
00:59:05
◼
►
looks like you got some penis cookies
[TS]
00:59:06
◼
►
and then some squee guy comes backstage
[TS]
00:59:09
◼
►
and hands you the gift of his checkbook
[TS]
00:59:11
◼
►
signed are not signed to keep it
[TS]
00:59:15
◼
►
put differently i'm sorry i don't want
[TS]
00:59:17
◼
►
to be binary what do you do with the
[TS]
00:59:19
◼
►
chapbook what do you say to squeeze boy
[TS]
00:59:21
◼
►
well this fall's I think into the same
[TS]
00:59:24
◼
►
category and and and and i hate to be
[TS]
00:59:26
◼
►
revealing I'd be revealing too much
[TS]
00:59:28
◼
►
because the same category this out if we
[TS]
00:59:30
◼
►
need two of the of the person who comes
[TS]
00:59:32
◼
►
in and gives you their CD and and I know
[TS]
00:59:35
◼
►
I absolutely know on the other side of
[TS]
00:59:38
◼
►
the line what that feels like
[TS]
00:59:41
◼
►
like that i made this record I really
[TS]
00:59:43
◼
►
really really want John Roderick to hear
[TS]
00:59:47
◼
►
it i really want Mermaid Man TT to read
[TS]
00:59:49
◼
►
my book because I really really admire
[TS]
00:59:52
◼
►
him and I made this thing and I'm very
[TS]
00:59:54
◼
►
proud of it and i really want to give up
[TS]
00:59:57
◼
►
just such a different thing from acting
[TS]
00:59:59
◼
►
like it's a present for
[TS]
00:59:59
◼
►
like it's a present for
[TS]
01:00:00
◼
►
birthday well don't think I think the
[TS]
01:00:02
◼
►
intentionality is important i know the
[TS]
01:00:04
◼
►
Buddhist but I think that's very
[TS]
01:00:05
◼
►
important
[TS]
01:00:06
◼
►
I in the end it is it's a kind of that
[TS]
01:00:10
◼
►
to give to give a CD to a guy at the
[TS]
01:00:14
◼
►
merch table and to give you hastily
[TS]
01:00:17
◼
►
wrapped present of his poem book of
[TS]
01:00:20
◼
►
poems at your birthday party
[TS]
01:00:21
◼
►
I don't think is different because the
[TS]
01:00:27
◼
►
CD and the book are going to end up in
[TS]
01:00:29
◼
►
the same place which is like basically
[TS]
01:00:33
◼
►
left in the dressing room when the bend
[TS]
01:00:36
◼
►
I I have a solution to this that is
[TS]
01:00:38
◼
►
extremely simple and extremely candid
[TS]
01:00:41
◼
►
and extremely good for everybody and
[TS]
01:00:44
◼
►
make sure with you
[TS]
01:00:45
◼
►
yes please do you know what I am so over
[TS]
01:00:47
◼
►
packed right now there's no way that I
[TS]
01:00:49
◼
►
could pack this could you do me a favor
[TS]
01:00:51
◼
►
i'm going to give you my email address
[TS]
01:00:52
◼
►
please send me a link to an end three of
[TS]
01:00:55
◼
►
your favorite song you've done
[TS]
01:00:57
◼
►
oh that's not a bad idea because you're
[TS]
01:01:00
◼
►
not is the thing is the CD is but you do
[TS]
01:01:02
◼
►
you listen to that link
[TS]
01:01:04
◼
►
yeah probably yeah but then the problem
[TS]
01:01:06
◼
►
is you get yourself into here's the
[TS]
01:01:07
◼
►
other thing so with the book part and I
[TS]
01:01:09
◼
►
would never say this to birthday boy
[TS]
01:01:11
◼
►
but but you know if somebody says you
[TS]
01:01:14
◼
►
know and ideas with lots of stuff
[TS]
01:01:15
◼
►
because people i mean you know whatever
[TS]
01:01:17
◼
►
i'm grateful that people are really
[TS]
01:01:19
◼
►
grateful that people are interested in
[TS]
01:01:20
◼
►
me knowing about what they do and a lot
[TS]
01:01:21
◼
►
of times I end up loving it and you're
[TS]
01:01:23
◼
►
following their work but here's what I
[TS]
01:01:25
◼
►
do if somebody goes check out my blog
[TS]
01:01:27
◼
►
and to me that's like going absorb my
[TS]
01:01:30
◼
►
rubra like to thank you look what I
[TS]
01:01:32
◼
►
always say is could you do me a favor
[TS]
01:01:33
◼
►
and this goes for people who suggests a
[TS]
01:01:34
◼
►
comic book it goes for people who like
[TS]
01:01:37
◼
►
some kind of a comedian
[TS]
01:01:38
◼
►
I'll say so could you do me a favor and
[TS]
01:01:40
◼
►
email me your favorite thing you've ever
[TS]
01:01:43
◼
►
written
[TS]
01:01:44
◼
►
yeah so I know you want me to watch you
[TS]
01:01:46
◼
►
know watch this whole five hour special
[TS]
01:01:48
◼
►
by sloppy jewelry's her quest ever but
[TS]
01:01:50
◼
►
could you send me a like a YouTube video
[TS]
01:01:52
◼
►
of your favorite bit and another thing
[TS]
01:01:54
◼
►
is here's the thing and this is this is
[TS]
01:01:56
◼
►
this goes straight to the stuff that I
[TS]
01:01:57
◼
►
care a lot about what the things that
[TS]
01:01:59
◼
►
aren't the show which is that like if
[TS]
01:02:01
◼
►
you want me to actually do that you
[TS]
01:02:02
◼
►
really imagine that i'm going to like
[TS]
01:02:03
◼
►
like treasure this chapbook no that's
[TS]
01:02:06
◼
►
totally lame it's all about you if you
[TS]
01:02:08
◼
►
really want me to enjoy this like why
[TS]
01:02:09
◼
►
don't you send me something that's an
[TS]
01:02:10
◼
►
easy in row two loving you rather than
[TS]
01:02:13
◼
►
forcing that on me and then making me
[TS]
01:02:14
◼
►
feel bad that like now I have to pack a
[TS]
01:02:17
◼
►
I mean how many CDs can you pack i
[TS]
01:02:19
◼
►
really like that idea i don't think
[TS]
01:02:20
◼
►
anything honestly i will read that i
[TS]
01:02:22
◼
►
will actually read that and i will
[TS]
01:02:23
◼
►
actually listen to that honestly if you
[TS]
01:02:25
◼
►
give me a wet with CD
[TS]
01:02:27
◼
►
ok give me a CD player 2 i'll just
[TS]
01:02:28
◼
►
hopped in my bag uh-huh i'll put on here
[TS]
01:02:31
◼
►
I'll put in here with my reel-to-reel of
[TS]
01:02:34
◼
►
you know kraftwerk covers that somebody
[TS]
01:02:35
◼
►
gave me people have been asking me a you
[TS]
01:02:39
◼
►
know free for now decades who like how I
[TS]
01:02:42
◼
►
discover new music and I discover new
[TS]
01:02:46
◼
►
music the way anybody does
[TS]
01:02:48
◼
►
I either by either a matter show and I
[TS]
01:02:50
◼
►
see a band that I that surprises me or I
[TS]
01:02:55
◼
►
somebody that I like or trust says you
[TS]
01:02:58
◼
►
should listen to this and i have never
[TS]
01:03:00
◼
►
discovered new music because somebody
[TS]
01:03:02
◼
►
that i didn't know came up to me at my
[TS]
01:03:03
◼
►
own merch table and handed me a CT and I
[TS]
01:03:06
◼
►
don't really like to just to be clear
[TS]
01:03:07
◼
►
don't sound like a dick here I don't
[TS]
01:03:08
◼
►
like my UI that I have done that I've
[TS]
01:03:10
◼
►
wasted my music on you I foisted started
[TS]
01:03:12
◼
►
I don't know why you would do it too but
[TS]
01:03:14
◼
►
it doesn't work if this idea of saying
[TS]
01:03:16
◼
►
send me the show me one thing that you
[TS]
01:03:19
◼
►
are the proud of stuff
[TS]
01:03:20
◼
►
mhm is it does it have an absolutely
[TS]
01:03:23
◼
►
that I i think that is a workable
[TS]
01:03:25
◼
►
solution man and I think that we should
[TS]
01:03:27
◼
►
all as a group of people as a community
[TS]
01:03:29
◼
►
of like-minded individuals we should all
[TS]
01:03:31
◼
►
adopt that policy here and forth with
[TS]
01:03:34
◼
►
send me your best thing send me one
[TS]
01:03:36
◼
►
thing your best thing
[TS]
01:03:38
◼
►
do not make it a 5 your best thing
[TS]
01:03:40
◼
►
cannot be of 5,000 word documents
[TS]
01:03:42
◼
►
yeah it is it should be a thing that I
[TS]
01:03:44
◼
►
can digest in three minutes and if it is
[TS]
01:03:48
◼
►
great and that include where I can find
[TS]
01:03:50
◼
►
you know where I can follow up but one
[TS]
01:03:53
◼
►
thing one thing
[TS]
01:03:54
◼
►
yeah that's a no that's not that's not
[TS]
01:03:56
◼
►
about it if the hair doll you know just
[TS]
01:03:58
◼
►
given your home address if it's a hair
[TS]
01:04:00
◼
►
darling animality regular delivered
[TS]
01:04:02
◼
►
don't know how somebody's going to give
[TS]
01:04:04
◼
►
you a doll made of hair looking like
[TS]
01:04:07
◼
►
years that little hairs that they're
[TS]
01:04:10
◼
►
gonna bring you a dollar of hair that
[TS]
01:04:11
◼
►
they've collected from your hair over
[TS]
01:04:15
◼
►
good clippings or tears make room in
[TS]
01:04:18
◼
►
your suitcase
[TS]
01:04:19
◼
►
ah get that thing that damage on I wish
[TS]
01:04:22
◼
►
I could believe this
[TS]
01:04:23
◼
►
I I don't believe this i think next time
[TS]
01:04:25
◼
►
I see you you know what I was about to
[TS]
01:04:26
◼
►
say i want to search your bag but that's
[TS]
01:04:28
◼
►
about the last thing in the world that I
[TS]
01:04:29
◼
►
want to do i but ok alright fine and so
[TS]
01:04:33
◼
►
if i come to your home and i will be
[TS]
01:04:34
◼
►
coming home soon for the thing we're
[TS]
01:04:35
◼
►
doing which we should talk about the
[TS]
01:04:37
◼
►
show when it's time all right um you're
[TS]
01:04:39
◼
►
telling me i will find I will find her
[TS]
01:04:40
◼
►
dolls and in and penis cakes at your
[TS]
01:04:42
◼
►
house looking around the room where I
[TS]
01:04:45
◼
►
said mhm you get hats you got am Jose a
[TS]
01:04:48
◼
►
lot of old military uniform handguns
[TS]
01:04:50
◼
►
goggles
[TS]
01:04:52
◼
►
well so many globes are you got gloves i
[TS]
01:04:55
◼
►
totally get my daughter globe
[TS]
01:04:57
◼
►
I got a globe for her if you don't if
[TS]
01:04:58
◼
►
you don't send the cello can i get when
[TS]
01:05:00
◼
►
you're less costly globes
[TS]
01:05:01
◼
►
I'm gonna get you think the gloves are
[TS]
01:05:03
◼
►
less costly but in fact all my globes
[TS]
01:05:05
◼
►
are vintage globes but I have one for
[TS]
01:05:07
◼
►
your daughter are all glogs vintage at
[TS]
01:05:09
◼
►
this point to people as other globe es
[TS]
01:05:11
◼
►
anymore to people make globes people do
[TS]
01:05:13
◼
►
make loans but new gloves are gross
[TS]
01:05:16
◼
►
unless you spend a lot of this new
[TS]
01:05:17
◼
►
borders they just don't fucking make any
[TS]
01:05:18
◼
►
sense anymore all these all these all
[TS]
01:05:20
◼
►
these namby-pamby new boarders we've got
[TS]
01:05:22
◼
►
I've got three World War 10 the
[TS]
01:05:26
◼
►
offensive all the offensive names i
[TS]
01:05:28
◼
►
would love it you know I'm torn on this
[TS]
01:05:30
◼
►
because you get your different
[TS]
01:05:31
◼
►
projections people starting five you
[TS]
01:05:32
◼
►
have a strong feeling about projections
[TS]
01:05:34
◼
►
to I have a strong feeling about
[TS]
01:05:36
◼
►
projects do you mind for Western mind
[TS]
01:05:39
◼
►
Mercator projection that is your
[TS]
01:05:40
◼
►
question do I have a strong feeling
[TS]
01:05:42
◼
►
about projections can't have just one
[TS]
01:05:46
◼
►
opportunity to reframe the question for
[TS]
01:05:48
◼
►
you go ahead
[TS]
01:05:49
◼
►
first of all I apologize i hope you're
[TS]
01:05:51
◼
►
satisfied with my apology
[TS]
01:05:53
◼
►
Tom do you prefer your advisement um
[TS]
01:05:56
◼
►
could you would you mind sharing with me
[TS]
01:05:57
◼
►
your your preference in globe
[TS]
01:06:00
◼
►
projections well maps to maps I mean we
[TS]
01:06:03
◼
►
got a wall map first of all you are
[TS]
01:06:04
◼
►
talking about maps because globes do not
[TS]
01:06:06
◼
►
have different projections that sure
[TS]
01:06:08
◼
►
they always popular
[TS]
01:06:09
◼
►
well yes the problem with a projection
[TS]
01:06:11
◼
►
is that this year's guys to be
[TS]
01:06:13
◼
►
distortion well you're trying to put a
[TS]
01:06:16
◼
►
around thing onto a flat surface right
[TS]
01:06:19
◼
►
that is the problem with the projection
[TS]
01:06:21
◼
►
you're trying to you're trying to make
[TS]
01:06:23
◼
►
the earth
[TS]
01:06:25
◼
►
beyond flattered but isn't accurate that
[TS]
01:06:27
◼
►
no matter what you you basically
[TS]
01:06:29
◼
►
choosing which kind of distortion you
[TS]
01:06:30
◼
►
can live with right and the thing about
[TS]
01:06:32
◼
►
a globe is that I mean there are there
[TS]
01:06:34
◼
►
are gloves that are like less children
[TS]
01:06:37
◼
►
travel of globes at all that but it's
[TS]
01:06:39
◼
►
not it's not a present a problem of
[TS]
01:06:41
◼
►
projection it's Antarctica is always the
[TS]
01:06:43
◼
►
same size on the globe like mile for
[TS]
01:06:45
◼
►
yes ok if it's I mean if it isn't if
[TS]
01:06:48
◼
►
it's a real geographically accurate glow
[TS]
01:06:51
◼
►
but isn't it doesn't like salvation
[TS]
01:06:53
◼
►
Antarctica has been made to look bigger
[TS]
01:06:55
◼
►
to in order to make North America look
[TS]
01:06:58
◼
►
bigger that's racist
[TS]
01:06:59
◼
►
yeah that is racist but there are you
[TS]
01:07:03
◼
►
know there are a lot of projections that
[TS]
01:07:06
◼
►
I then I hate you can you think of one
[TS]
01:07:09
◼
►
that particularly sticks in your craw
[TS]
01:07:12
◼
►
well the most common one the Mercator
[TS]
01:07:14
◼
►
you don't like the volcano could you
[TS]
01:07:15
◼
►
give me just a couple of bullets on i
[TS]
01:07:17
◼
►
know a lot of people have a problem
[TS]
01:07:18
◼
►
Mercator projection I don't know much
[TS]
01:07:19
◼
►
about it
[TS]
01:07:20
◼
►
this is the one where it splits into
[TS]
01:07:21
◼
►
like it looks a little bit like somebody
[TS]
01:07:23
◼
►
took out like made an orange with like
[TS]
01:07:26
◼
►
four pieces right is that it's you know
[TS]
01:07:28
◼
►
what I mean like a shape of an orange
[TS]
01:07:29
◼
►
slice it kinda looks like that
[TS]
01:07:31
◼
►
no the Mercator projection is the one
[TS]
01:07:33
◼
►
where they have they have not made of
[TS]
01:07:35
◼
►
stone and father with you were just two
[TS]
01:07:36
◼
►
feet flat just like that where Greenland
[TS]
01:07:40
◼
►
is bigger than South America is that is
[TS]
01:07:43
◼
►
the that is the Mercator projection
[TS]
01:07:44
◼
►
where that's the one where Alaska looks
[TS]
01:07:47
◼
►
like a huge face on the top of a love
[TS]
01:07:51
◼
►
like this tiny shrinking little north
[TS]
01:07:53
◼
►
america is an inaccurate face Alaska
[TS]
01:07:57
◼
►
does look like a face but it should
[TS]
01:07:59
◼
►
Alaska should be and it's Alaska should
[TS]
01:08:01
◼
►
have its nice little area i mean i like
[TS]
01:08:05
◼
►
the like an Eckerd projection
[TS]
01:08:08
◼
►
I mean if you're going to have a if
[TS]
01:08:10
◼
►
you're going to have it on a flat thing
[TS]
01:08:11
◼
►
and not have it also exploded like an
[TS]
01:08:13
◼
►
orange peel
[TS]
01:08:13
◼
►
uh-huh but now I you know I like I like
[TS]
01:08:15
◼
►
a lot of like those projections where
[TS]
01:08:17
◼
►
we're at it it makes sense where the
[TS]
01:08:20
◼
►
earth is upside down and you look at
[TS]
01:08:22
◼
►
doesn't have to do any less because i
[TS]
01:08:24
◼
►
think that that you know get your mind
[TS]
01:08:26
◼
►
thinking a little differently when you
[TS]
01:08:27
◼
►
see the upside down
[TS]
01:08:28
◼
►
well you can now you can approximate it
[TS]
01:08:30
◼
►
by taking a map and turning it upside
[TS]
01:08:32
◼
►
ok so you literally ok you can do any
[TS]
01:08:36
◼
►
map you can turn any map upside down
[TS]
01:08:38
◼
►
you sure about that
[TS]
01:08:39
◼
►
i'm going to say right now I'm gonna go
[TS]
01:08:41
◼
►
on record and say any map you can turn
[TS]
01:08:44
◼
►
upside down
[TS]
01:08:44
◼
►
could you get on something like that
[TS]
01:08:46
◼
►
like that like a what would that be like
[TS]
01:08:47
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a lazy susan
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01:08:48
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no offense I she's like a lot i like a
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lot of control
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yeah she's turns a little lazy because
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01:08:54
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she's lazy man that doesn't understand
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her Twitter understand her Twitter I
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don't look in fact I don't follow it you
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believe that um bad bad but I don't
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not only did you look in sometimes I I
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peeking okay you know i have I you know
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what I can't get into it but if you had
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01:09:14
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a lazy susan on your wall a vertical
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lazy susan it seems to me then that way
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you get the best of both worlds so to
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speak you get the upside down world of
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the Ainu view of the earth and then you
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01:09:24
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can always flip it around to make sure
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you're reading romania correctly going
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or do you read upside down you can put I
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can yes you can post a you can post up a
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map on the ceiling above your bed and
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then flip it around so that you feed on
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your pillow and your head is full of the
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01:09:38
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bend your knees and then all you're
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doing is sleeping a little different
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that's pretty good yeah well that's it
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works except I like a little space
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between the mattress and the footboard
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and if you flip it around then that's
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when you gotta move your gotta move your
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chin and sweet centerfold your report on
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the ceiling are no it's not my style
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oh I did I did not ever have a of a have
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a picture of a girl in a bikini lounging
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on the hood of a Lamborghini you never
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said she had bikini
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you know the one porno e thing I ever
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hang on my wall was a very early days
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take him out not withstand a tinkerbell
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notwithstanding and actually I do have a
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picture of a naked girl my wall right
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now but she is burnt she is that it's a
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it's a playboy poster that has been
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shellacked to a piece of wood and that's
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it's a good have been burned haha
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this is johnny is shiny shiny and just
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she's standing in a wheat field issues
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offers and he's burning but it's I think
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that that's got to somehow hook up with
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some buddies like three of somebody's
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very special things and says it's an
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amazing piece and it is it's almost
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life-size this girl is its practical
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01:10:59
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skills four feet tall
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01:11:01
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what you need is like a squeegee a
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couple seconds and you're good to go
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well I could also put legs on to make it
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a coffee
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ok it's a good out there
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