Ep. 34: "A Shit Barge Full of Long Pigs"
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who is it who is me guess what I got
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what do you got
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I have now ya got worse by Bell remove
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my bow I don't have a bell i gotta go to
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keep it special
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I'm gonna like it too much but tues I'm
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here it's hard it's really hard to
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explain was extremely hard to explain to
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my daughter but I i just had to say well
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you know honey there's just sometimes
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i'm talking on the internet i really
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want to hit a fucking Val I didn't see I
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didn't say those words but I said in
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that more kind of like really ridiculous
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way you talk to a child that John I I
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you know I I've been cynical about your
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candles and bells but sometimes you just
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need to hit a goddamn Bell am i right am
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i right
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I you know I had no idea it's like I
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have a microwave you sit around go
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through way why would you want a way to
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make soup faster then you go and watch
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no sorry just something I need to order
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coffee maker to understand
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yeah and then you get a bell next to
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your computer couple times a day you
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punctuate even some triumph with it will
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try for the lowercase T ya know you
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don't punctuated a band the band other
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motorcycle or the car you punctuate you
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punctuate a lowercase T triumph with a
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little the little sound you know
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actually I don't derail this but I i
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actually i think i'm going to start a
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new stack which is going to be the
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things we don't talk about other things
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that we're going to circle back to do
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well gosh no that's a really big pilot
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you know i have actually an entire I
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don't smoke but i have an entire cigar
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box full of cards just from the show
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that i would be happy to go through with
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you at some point but now I think
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triumph is something like kiss is
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something to avoid right triumph the
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insult comic dog right now that's funny
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and that is why you don't think there's
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a gateway drug you know how you use
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experimented with man loved in the past
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I think my experiment that I never
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realized that I was an outing myself was
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what i want to make a little giggle I'm
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and make an unconscious little giggle I
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make a he sound and I realized that
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that's exactly when I found myself doing
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stuff like this and like hitting a
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coffee cup with a pencil it's a nice
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pencil but that's just not the same as
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no how low let me welcome you have
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arrived this just got where it needs to
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be now does that mean that you're not
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gonna giggle anymore he know haha I'm in
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a good mood I just ABR really really
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well yeah I have I you know I have eaten
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my usual breakfast of two chocolate chip
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cookies and a half a cup of coffee cake
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cookies
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no not big ones normal normal cookie
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sighs cookies now it's normal for you
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well let's see above other prominent
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Megan could get some proper cookie a
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proper cookie I think should be the size
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of a dollar pancake
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oh I would say that is that is a 1x
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standard size could you talk about a
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little bigger than the chips ahoy
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well no chips ahoy is it all smiles on I
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I and it's terrible and Chips Ahoy is
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like the size of a of John Lennon's
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eyeglasses limbs talk about like the air
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like 6666 friends and you know I hate to
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admit that I had these but you know
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sometimes when you're traveling and get
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out of machines which is the worst I'll
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find myself as it was when as you do you
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find yourself eating cookies out of the
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machine I'm always like what like you're
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so I'm going to shotgun Shack yeah you
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find yourself living and did you speak
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it at Talking Heads joke
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I'm afraid so my other program had a
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reference to that this is getting really
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weird i'm not going to hit the Bell
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I don't want to talk about your other
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program you know you need is
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productivity let's let's circle your
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problems your problems your productivity
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don't you doing what you love my problem
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my problem is my productivity / no
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semicolon i'm not doing what I love
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that's your problem
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that's not a problem that you remember
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over the colors cookie crunch and it was
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building i like to think of it is at
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least during my awareness of the
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phenomenon
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I i like to think that is the apex of of
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what i will call really cereal
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oh my god my cereal was cocoa pebbles
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oh my god those work those were store so
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many cocoa pebbles you can fit in a bowl
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oh great if you're doing even even if
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you were doing a captain captain crunch
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you know that's they're still there's a
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lot of holes in the character that's
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exactly right but but but
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butBut cocoa puffs it was like chunks of
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sugar and salt cocoa puffs
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yeah was not myself a lot of times
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people would get cocoa puffs yes
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like if I was staying over at a friend's
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house whatever they're like what kind of
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cereal do you want i'm like cocoa
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pebbles and then right that's like
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asking somebody for a dr. pepper and
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they give you like a sergeant human you
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know you from further argument from the
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cash-and-carry those are the worst but
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yeah so then I then they'd be cooking
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puffs and they're like I got you what
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you wanted i'm like that's a cocoa puffs
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that's not a co powerful that it you
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know it is like chunks of sugar and it's
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a gravy train remember that for dogs we
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pour hot water on it makes great for
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your dog to drop the milk chocolate milk
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and cocoa pebbles first of all it had
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been on the box was banned and flan
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Flintstones love damn but it was just
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but it was just basically a bit puffed
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rice soaked in chocolate until it could
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hold no more chocolate
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oh my god I now that i'm talking about
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it you know they don't make it anymore i
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never see it
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are you kidding me what is it because of
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the decline of the flintstones or is it
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the sugar issue must be that's enough to
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god that's a goddamn shame I i hate when
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breakfast foods go away it makes me so
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you wanna know the weirdest thing yeah
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this is the third Flintstones reference
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in the last 24 hours in your life
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yeah and the first two Flintstones
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references were both references to and
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Margaret's character
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o Muslims why did you say that you know
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what I'm saying what her head was so big
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oh and we have better hair here our you
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know her hair was the biggest of all
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hair it was the large and Margaret in
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the late seventies early eighties there
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was there was no bigger hair not god i
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want to get lost i want to lose my
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compass and fucking get lost in that
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hair and you can get you know hardly to
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get your hand out of that hair
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I don't pick haha i'm with you if you
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really feel kind of lost yourself for a
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minute and you really got in there you
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would have to chew your arm off but you
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wouldn't chew your arm off because she
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probably had a gig but oh my god and
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Margaret and market that opening I've
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never seen bye birdie but I've watched
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the opening credit thing out a lot
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well and Margaret him in Tommy oh yeah
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perhaps the hardest of all things out
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right okay i'll check
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out yeah i was gonna watch tommy
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recently now I i was as you know like I
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think like you
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yes I know like you I had a weird phase
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and 10th grade when I was really
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transitioning and like a lot of very
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very different
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well bye-bye white middle-class suburban
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standards really really different weird
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rock music I mean I like black sabbath
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and the who and I was starting to get
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into like the thick sliced i really like
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the starting to like get a new wave and
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split the fix was amazing
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they were at their underrated that is
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underrated as missing persons but
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definitely up there mm agree on but i
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was so my friends and I used to wear
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knee pads to school so that we could
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slide slide down the hallways on our
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knees like three times and you're just
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loving softballs at me is that what they
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are haha i had a members-only jacket
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right I'm done
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epaulettes because I once seen a picture
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of an epaulette unattached details about
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you i'm back then that's when you still
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trying to make his hair do something
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with the fingers of be towns in the
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eighties was like 35 he's still like all
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the young guys still trying to like get
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hit with the times he'll it was like
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somebody shot a very young marmot out of
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a cannon and it happened to land on his
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head me play guitar
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yeah yeah it was sort of a flock of
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seagulls but Punk turn your you know I
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think it's hard was there you know you
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remember when everybody had their salvos
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to make like a disco record and this is
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very well-documented tons of bands that
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then felt the need to respond to new
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wave including you get your billy joel's
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you know you got all of your concert
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Billy Joel you you tell me glasshouses
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was not his attempt to do a white album
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I can't have I can't talk about Billy
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Joel chef within the card I despise
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Billy Joel was such a it was such a
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white-hot fury you understand this isn't
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on a molecular level
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yes absolutely everything about him
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every word every syllable every business
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is puffy faces and um you know East
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Coast working man horse shit i just got
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none of it like a true through his i
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hope i can tell you the truth is he's
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the one thing I don't have that problem
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with Billy Joel like I have with phil
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collins what my god Phil Collins is a
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he was good in Genesis and
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but now this is failing guess what the
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third part now we've got a third car huh
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you know you don't always got me is as I
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got a little bit older and i started i
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started understand it like pictures of
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pretty ladies and magazines
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somebody get like lit them to make them
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look good now they didn't look good and
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then I started to realize that every
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time you saw a professional photograph
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of something like a lot of trouble had
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gone into it and out of its 52nd street
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and one of them but i hate the fucking
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loose tie the little high component
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yes so douchey when I don't we use more
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loose skinny top get the skinny knit
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loose too skitty knit loose tie bad bad
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bad bad bad now if you have a if you're
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wearing a butt like a like a like an
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adult man's tie
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yeah and it's and you've loosened it
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because you're really getting you're
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really getting down to the nitty-gritty
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yeah you need to loosen your tie
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that's one thing but yeah like getting
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dressed in the morning and putting your
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tie on the loose all man thats a paddlin
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I i totally agree told you know what
[TS]
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that is that's a Billy Joel move around
[TS]
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totally fucking Billy Joel move and then
[TS]
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◼
►
he's like standing outside the busy
[TS]
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►
holding a trumpet right
[TS]
00:09:59
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ok might be holding an instrument i live
[TS]
00:10:01
◼
►
in a cello but he's out there is no
[TS]
00:10:03
◼
►
don't mind me I'm just standing on the
[TS]
00:10:05
◼
►
streets near my fucking tie and you know
[TS]
00:10:07
◼
►
what he's probably gotten that he's
[TS]
00:10:08
◼
►
probably at the the sleeves of his suit
[TS]
00:10:10
◼
►
jacket you know like stopping by my
[TS]
00:10:15
◼
►
second least favorite sleep Eric right I
[TS]
00:10:18
◼
►
accidentally did this yesterday I i hate
[TS]
00:10:21
◼
►
the folding up you know that's good in
[TS]
00:10:23
◼
►
this exactly one person John ham on mad
[TS]
00:10:25
◼
►
men let's go with this everybody else
[TS]
00:10:26
◼
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you'll be the biggest cock in the world
[TS]
00:10:28
◼
►
you got your sweater you get your long
[TS]
00:10:30
◼
►
sleeve shirt unbuttoned the buttons your
[TS]
00:10:32
◼
►
long sleeve shirt i can see I'm doing I
[TS]
00:10:34
◼
►
have that common right now and I'm
[TS]
00:10:35
◼
►
folding up the sleeve starting with the
[TS]
00:10:39
◼
►
cuffs unfolding oh my god i already
[TS]
00:10:41
◼
►
fucking hate myself for doing it over
[TS]
00:10:42
◼
►
the small over this sweater and then you
[TS]
00:10:44
◼
►
make it look real tidy mm and what you
[TS]
00:10:47
◼
►
think Jon Hamm can pull that off
[TS]
00:10:48
◼
►
we should see a very slender man he's a
[TS]
00:10:50
◼
►
handsome guys obviously i wouldn't say
[TS]
00:10:52
◼
►
slender he's a powerfully-built human
[TS]
00:10:55
◼
►
he's kind of my TV Clooney I really like
[TS]
00:10:57
◼
►
that guy is that you know and you know
[TS]
00:10:59
◼
►
what he's a nice guy too
[TS]
00:11:01
◼
►
well I know he's very very funny that
[TS]
00:11:03
◼
►
the zach galifianakis between two fern
[TS]
00:11:05
◼
►
think some of the things that he's done
[TS]
00:11:06
◼
►
on the self-effacing things he's done
[TS]
00:11:08
◼
►
she makes me understand that if I were
[TS]
00:11:10
◼
►
more handsome i would be able to be a
[TS]
00:11:11
◼
►
lot more funny and adaptive isn't just
[TS]
00:11:15
◼
►
an excuse i'm making excuses all right
[TS]
00:11:16
◼
►
well I mean it's something i think where
[TS]
00:11:18
◼
►
he feels uh no I'm not going to speak
[TS]
00:11:20
◼
►
here for Jon Hamm no but i imagine uh
[TS]
00:11:24
◼
►
but based on my encounters with him
[TS]
00:11:27
◼
►
what oh yeah isn't you know if you if
[TS]
00:11:31
◼
►
you go look up the place if you go to
[TS]
00:11:32
◼
►
get the Playboy interview with jon hamm
[TS]
00:11:34
◼
►
yeah in the opening paragraph the writer
[TS]
00:11:38
◼
►
says I'm interviewing Jon Hamm and John
[TS]
00:11:42
◼
►
Roderick and john hodgman and aimee mann
[TS]
00:11:45
◼
►
are sitting across from us and send that
[TS]
00:11:47
◼
►
and they come over and they don't they
[TS]
00:11:49
◼
►
don't even publish plane when I just not
[TS]
00:11:51
◼
►
a bad bitch I I swear to you
[TS]
00:11:53
◼
►
youryour mentioned in something in
[TS]
00:11:55
◼
►
fucking playboy or somebody's in a room
[TS]
00:11:57
◼
►
with Jon Hamm and you were near him
[TS]
00:11:59
◼
►
that's right i know that you know what
[TS]
00:12:00
◼
►
I'm gonna come right out and say it
[TS]
00:12:02
◼
►
I know John hand not in the biblical
[TS]
00:12:05
◼
►
sense because you're not a religious man
[TS]
00:12:06
◼
►
that's right not in the biblical to
[TS]
00:12:07
◼
►
shake his hand
[TS]
00:12:09
◼
►
i I'm saying that I know him as he have
[TS]
00:12:12
◼
►
a relaxing humor he doesn't have here
[TS]
00:12:14
◼
►
here's what I'm gonna here's what i'm
[TS]
00:12:15
◼
►
saying i'm not speaking for him but i
[TS]
00:12:17
◼
►
imagine from interacting with him that
[TS]
00:12:20
◼
►
his handsomeness is somewhat of a burden
[TS]
00:12:23
◼
►
for him in pursuing what he truly loves
[TS]
00:12:27
◼
►
which is a comedy
[TS]
00:12:29
◼
►
I don't have a great he has a gift i
[TS]
00:12:31
◼
►
don't what he wasn't like officially
[TS]
00:12:32
◼
►
like a groundling or something was he
[TS]
00:12:34
◼
►
but he does lots of stuff with comedy
[TS]
00:12:35
◼
►
groups and he fits right in and relax it
[TS]
00:12:38
◼
►
is a fair number
[TS]
00:12:39
◼
►
he did yeah I'm started talking to a
[TS]
00:12:41
◼
►
comedy because if he was an uglier guy
[TS]
00:12:42
◼
►
would be a better comedian are you
[TS]
00:12:45
◼
►
saying like if he was 18 he was named
[TS]
00:12:47
◼
►
Eugene Mirman or a patton oswalt exactly
[TS]
00:12:49
◼
►
how those guys are handsome guy was
[TS]
00:12:51
◼
►
there talking characters is the thing up
[TS]
00:12:55
◼
►
I you know I would like to talk more
[TS]
00:12:57
◼
►
about this video just get super weird
[TS]
00:12:59
◼
►
when you go back to it okay what do you
[TS]
00:13:00
◼
►
think we're circle back to okc like a
[TS]
00:13:01
◼
►
triumph kiss phil collins and Billy Joel
[TS]
00:13:04
◼
►
but still Collins I'm gonna I'm gonna
[TS]
00:13:06
◼
►
even go i'm gonna go so far as to say no
[TS]
00:13:09
◼
►
jacket required is a classic album you
[TS]
00:13:11
◼
►
want me to make more cards you make as
[TS]
00:13:14
◼
►
many cards you want you make to make two
[TS]
00:13:16
◼
►
cards one that says fill the other says
[TS]
00:13:18
◼
►
colin understand the one that put a son
[TS]
00:13:19
◼
►
the internet i got the I got the
[TS]
00:13:21
◼
►
rudimentary editing tools i understand
[TS]
00:13:23
◼
►
their Collins is required journey
[TS]
00:13:26
◼
►
Billy Joel hi I'm John Roderick um so
[TS]
00:13:31
◼
►
we're talking about John I want to talk
[TS]
00:13:33
◼
►
about the circle back to jon hamm yeah
[TS]
00:13:35
◼
►
sure and that's with two M's i'm going
[TS]
00:13:36
◼
►
to put him in a different pile you
[TS]
00:13:37
◼
►
probably struggle with this John you're
[TS]
00:13:39
◼
►
very good looking your very charismatic
[TS]
00:13:40
◼
►
and I have to imagine that times you say
[TS]
00:13:42
◼
►
you say stop don't stop staring at my
[TS]
00:13:44
◼
►
tits and listen to my song about the
[TS]
00:13:45
◼
►
Space Shuttle you encounter problems we
[TS]
00:13:47
◼
►
have trouble keeping people's focus on
[TS]
00:13:48
◼
►
on the way you helped him I i think that
[TS]
00:13:52
◼
►
my inner ugliness suffice 'as are you
[TS]
00:13:56
◼
►
like you're like the Emperor the more
[TS]
00:13:57
◼
►
you use that dark side of the force that
[TS]
00:13:59
◼
►
more wrinkly get yes exactly exactly
[TS]
00:14:01
◼
►
well the more wrinkled the portrait of
[TS]
00:14:03
◼
►
me and my advocates that's true that's
[TS]
00:14:06
◼
►
true i think a lot of people
[TS]
00:14:07
◼
►
misunderstand that analogy
[TS]
00:14:08
◼
►
yeah I think I you know I walk around
[TS]
00:14:09
◼
►
walk around a unconscious
[TS]
00:14:13
◼
►
that's right and that was the nineties
[TS]
00:14:15
◼
►
respect and so I'm not aware of people
[TS]
00:14:19
◼
►
really a like undressing me with their I
[TS]
00:14:22
◼
►
that's how you know you're truly
[TS]
00:14:23
◼
►
handsome right when you're elle
[TS]
00:14:25
◼
►
macpherson and you can just you can just
[TS]
00:14:26
◼
►
go where some some some sweatpants a
[TS]
00:14:30
◼
►
juicy on the backing in you go to when
[TS]
00:14:33
◼
►
you buy some stuff or whatever no matter
[TS]
00:14:35
◼
►
how hot that would be if she didn't
[TS]
00:14:38
◼
►
copenhagen there's just tell McPherson
[TS]
00:14:40
◼
►
and some juicy sweatpants and just her
[TS]
00:14:43
◼
►
hair in a bomb yes I'm some copenhagen
[TS]
00:14:46
◼
►
yeah the best part of the official could
[TS]
00:14:48
◼
►
spit really well because most girls
[TS]
00:14:49
◼
►
can't spit you ever notice that we have
[TS]
00:14:52
◼
►
I ever notice that I have right there
[TS]
00:14:54
◼
►
was a while they're in the eighties
[TS]
00:14:55
◼
►
where I ran up like a clinic teaching
[TS]
00:14:58
◼
►
girls out of spit
[TS]
00:15:00
◼
►
it's useless though no no I mean you can
[TS]
00:15:02
◼
►
you if you if you see if you walk them
[TS]
00:15:04
◼
►
all the way through the process like
[TS]
00:15:05
◼
►
here's what you're trying to accomplish
[TS]
00:15:07
◼
►
you're not it's not a thing where it's
[TS]
00:15:09
◼
►
not doesn't happen from the lips it
[TS]
00:15:11
◼
►
happens from the back of the tongue
[TS]
00:15:13
◼
►
stretches and deeper place
[TS]
00:15:14
◼
►
yeah and you're trying to what you're
[TS]
00:15:15
◼
►
trying to do is you're trying to launch
[TS]
00:15:16
◼
►
this goober
[TS]
00:15:19
◼
►
and will you know with the idea that it
[TS]
00:15:21
◼
►
that it has a life of its own now it's
[TS]
00:15:24
◼
►
not not just sending air out with some
[TS]
00:15:26
◼
►
money it's not wet air now if you love
[TS]
00:15:28
◼
►
you love you gotta set free
[TS]
00:15:29
◼
►
yeah that's right you know it's not just
[TS]
00:15:30
◼
►
a spray of whether you are trying to
[TS]
00:15:32
◼
►
create a new thing
[TS]
00:15:34
◼
►
oh it's like it's almost like giving
[TS]
00:15:36
◼
►
birth cannot risk going a little bit
[TS]
00:15:37
◼
►
ping-pong for a minute
[TS]
00:15:38
◼
►
one problem let's continue but i think
[TS]
00:15:41
◼
►
one problem with with people learning to
[TS]
00:15:42
◼
►
throw especially girls because they
[TS]
00:15:44
◼
►
don't understand when to let go of the
[TS]
00:15:47
◼
►
oh right so I mean I decided in trouble
[TS]
00:15:49
◼
►
with girls I was not geometric in my
[TS]
00:15:51
◼
►
studies but i think that around the
[TS]
00:15:53
◼
►
45-degree angle you want to let go
[TS]
00:15:55
◼
►
because you let go too early it goes up
[TS]
00:15:57
◼
►
in the air you get to too late it goes
[TS]
00:15:58
◼
►
down there's a whole lot of ways i think
[TS]
00:16:00
◼
►
with a loogie you need to think of 45
[TS]
00:16:02
◼
►
and and on top of that I think you're
[TS]
00:16:04
◼
►
straight onto the point which is that
[TS]
00:16:06
◼
►
they don't really want to spit and if
[TS]
00:16:07
◼
►
you don't really want to spit you're
[TS]
00:16:08
◼
►
never going to get any good trajectory
[TS]
00:16:09
◼
►
us we own that get behind that shift
[TS]
00:16:11
◼
►
positions the thing about my lucky
[TS]
00:16:13
◼
►
clinic was that the girls that the
[TS]
00:16:15
◼
►
signed up for it all
[TS]
00:16:17
◼
►
we truly did want to spit it wasn't just
[TS]
00:16:19
◼
►
to be with you it wasn't a thing where
[TS]
00:16:21
◼
►
we're standing around a campfire and the
[TS]
00:16:23
◼
►
girls like yeah and I go hey let me help
[TS]
00:16:25
◼
►
you out
[TS]
00:16:27
◼
►
it's a thing where they would contact me
[TS]
00:16:29
◼
►
and they would say I understand that you
[TS]
00:16:31
◼
►
can teach girls to spirit and i would
[TS]
00:16:33
◼
►
say yeah if you are ready uh-huh i was
[TS]
00:16:36
◼
►
like it like a night class that like a
[TS]
00:16:37
◼
►
community college
[TS]
00:16:39
◼
►
well I was it was Alaska so it was the
[TS]
00:16:41
◼
►
Midnight Sun so there's no there's no
[TS]
00:16:43
◼
►
oh right technically no night you know
[TS]
00:16:45
◼
►
people settle people it would be what
[TS]
00:16:47
◼
►
you would call night here in them in
[TS]
00:16:49
◼
►
America but in Alaska it's like the
[TS]
00:16:52
◼
►
school son is in the sky you sound like
[TS]
00:16:54
◼
►
a native american in a commercial up
[TS]
00:16:56
◼
►
midnight which you can all dark but my
[TS]
00:17:01
◼
►
people call it maize i think the first
[TS]
00:17:03
◼
►
thing yet first steps here you have to
[TS]
00:17:05
◼
►
teach them that the loogies not to be
[TS]
00:17:06
◼
►
part of you anymore as you say i just
[TS]
00:17:08
◼
►
wanna know about wanting it you know
[TS]
00:17:10
◼
►
pushing out a baby you need to move on
[TS]
00:17:11
◼
►
with your life you want to let the
[TS]
00:17:12
◼
►
loogie go but the very first thing like
[TS]
00:17:15
◼
►
rudimentary is like how not to spit on
[TS]
00:17:16
◼
►
yourself waiting means it's like judo
[TS]
00:17:18
◼
►
for the mistake that people make is that
[TS]
00:17:21
◼
►
they think that spitting involves person
[TS]
00:17:22
◼
►
the lips I think your baby analogy is
[TS]
00:17:25
◼
►
perfect when you're giving birth to a
[TS]
00:17:27
◼
►
baby you know
[TS]
00:17:27
◼
►
first the lips opposite feminine you
[TS]
00:17:29
◼
►
want to open and let the baby be free
[TS]
00:17:32
◼
►
and the lips
[TS]
00:17:33
◼
►
although your mouth lips are the same
[TS]
00:17:34
◼
►
right you want to create a loogie shaped
[TS]
00:17:36
◼
►
hole in your mouth a loogie shaped app
[TS]
00:17:40
◼
►
you know a paternity and then let the
[TS]
00:17:44
◼
►
looky-look then let the loogie like the
[TS]
00:17:47
◼
►
fighter in the original Battlestar
[TS]
00:17:50
◼
►
Galactica let that loogie make its way
[TS]
00:17:52
◼
►
down the launch
[TS]
00:17:54
◼
►
it's a lot like a baby John the more I
[TS]
00:17:56
◼
►
think about it the more I'm realizing
[TS]
00:17:57
◼
►
you know so that we can get the thing up
[TS]
00:17:59
◼
►
its kind of braxton-hicks contraction
[TS]
00:18:01
◼
►
you know something's coming and then you
[TS]
00:18:03
◼
►
gotta start getting ready and like
[TS]
00:18:04
◼
►
singing like I don't know how to sing
[TS]
00:18:05
◼
►
and and but i know that when you learn
[TS]
00:18:08
◼
►
how to sing you learn that doesn't come
[TS]
00:18:09
◼
►
out of your mouth it doesn't come out
[TS]
00:18:10
◼
►
your throat come from somewhere much
[TS]
00:18:12
◼
►
deeper tonight if i understand correctly
[TS]
00:18:13
◼
►
you're saying it in a sense that it is
[TS]
00:18:14
◼
►
like having a baby it has to start much
[TS]
00:18:16
◼
►
earlier in a different place
[TS]
00:18:18
◼
►
exactly and I really feel like the mean
[TS]
00:18:21
◼
►
when my baby was being born I was there
[TS]
00:18:23
◼
►
in the hospital and I was saying good
[TS]
00:18:24
◼
►
for you
[TS]
00:18:25
◼
►
battlestar galactica launch sequence
[TS]
00:18:27
◼
►
battlestar galactica launch sequence and
[TS]
00:18:31
◼
►
it really helped everybody
[TS]
00:18:33
◼
►
the doctor just turns to a very quietly
[TS]
00:18:34
◼
►
says I work alone you know you know
[TS]
00:18:38
◼
►
women who are having a baby love is
[TS]
00:18:42
◼
►
oh wow don't they well nothing is I I
[TS]
00:18:45
◼
►
mean out if there was ever a time when a
[TS]
00:18:49
◼
►
woman needs advice from the man its been
[TS]
00:18:51
◼
►
she's having a baby could actually such
[TS]
00:18:53
◼
►
a faggot just have a baby that's what
[TS]
00:18:55
◼
►
guys are for rights were there to
[TS]
00:18:57
◼
►
provide some hard want advice right one
[TS]
00:19:03
◼
►
you know and the thing is as always John
[TS]
00:19:05
◼
►
if I could say you're giving the gift of
[TS]
00:19:06
◼
►
context you help your helping people
[TS]
00:19:07
◼
►
understand i don't want to say what's
[TS]
00:19:09
◼
►
wrong with them but in some sense you're
[TS]
00:19:11
◼
►
helping them understand what's wrong
[TS]
00:19:12
◼
►
with them in terms of what they're not
[TS]
00:19:14
◼
►
doing correctly because you have
[TS]
00:19:16
◼
►
perspective that if you were pregnant
[TS]
00:19:18
◼
►
and having a baby you might not even
[TS]
00:19:19
◼
►
have much perspective that might that
[TS]
00:19:21
◼
►
might that my poison your well if that's
[TS]
00:19:22
◼
►
exactly right you're too close to it you
[TS]
00:19:24
◼
►
can listen to it
[TS]
00:19:25
◼
►
the problem with a pregnant woman is
[TS]
00:19:27
◼
►
that he has a baby in her right
[TS]
00:19:30
◼
►
yeah and through that this is the
[TS]
00:19:32
◼
►
problem and we resolve this problem
[TS]
00:19:34
◼
►
yes get the baby out right that's
[TS]
00:19:37
◼
►
fastest way you can
[TS]
00:19:38
◼
►
yeah and from the perspective of a
[TS]
00:19:40
◼
►
pregnant woman that might not be
[TS]
00:19:41
◼
►
entirely obvious i mean obviously she
[TS]
00:19:43
◼
►
wants to get the baby out
[TS]
00:19:44
◼
►
she doesn't see how simple a simple 121
[TS]
00:19:47
◼
►
like she said she wants to get the baby
[TS]
00:19:49
◼
►
out but she probably likes getting a
[TS]
00:19:50
◼
►
seat on the bus
[TS]
00:19:51
◼
►
see see you now you're getting close now
[TS]
00:19:53
◼
►
you're getting closer you could not what
[TS]
00:19:54
◼
►
you think about the stories of ladies
[TS]
00:19:56
◼
►
you don't find out the pregnancy the
[TS]
00:19:57
◼
►
baby comes out doesn't that seem a
[TS]
00:19:58
◼
►
little hard to believe we heard these
[TS]
00:20:00
◼
►
stories
[TS]
00:20:01
◼
►
yeah I have lady gets a little heavy
[TS]
00:20:03
◼
►
doesn't have a period for eight months
[TS]
00:20:04
◼
►
and then she goes wide
[TS]
00:20:06
◼
►
am I my life I have learned that no
[TS]
00:20:09
◼
►
story involving a woman is too
[TS]
00:20:11
◼
►
far-fetched
[TS]
00:20:12
◼
►
ok anyway hit their words or you were
[TS]
00:20:23
◼
►
shedding listeners now if only we could
[TS]
00:20:26
◼
►
John that's the problem we don't the
[TS]
00:20:28
◼
►
problem it's an opportunity to take mom
[TS]
00:20:31
◼
►
is yeah the cereal now I I the serial
[TS]
00:20:34
◼
►
thing I keep thinking I'm gonna like it
[TS]
00:20:35
◼
►
i just don't like that kind of sugar as
[TS]
00:20:37
◼
►
much as i used to i will have a cookie
[TS]
00:20:39
◼
►
sometimes I I first of all I'm not to be
[TS]
00:20:41
◼
►
honest I'm not all i remember want to
[TS]
00:20:43
◼
►
circle back to write things down coffee
[TS]
00:20:45
◼
►
um I can't eat a lot of sweet stuff in
[TS]
00:20:47
◼
►
the morning and into begin with as you
[TS]
00:20:49
◼
►
know from from our experiences with them
[TS]
00:20:51
◼
►
some unsavory man
[TS]
00:20:52
◼
►
yeah you too idea to steak every morning
[TS]
00:20:54
◼
►
if I could smoke up the house but i
[TS]
00:20:56
◼
►
would i would be just like the for my
[TS]
00:20:57
◼
►
family rose i will have eaten ribeye
[TS]
00:20:59
◼
►
that's what I mean mymy thing too i will
[TS]
00:21:01
◼
►
i will eat spicy pork for breakfast all
[TS]
00:21:04
◼
►
the time if if i can get it and and I
[TS]
00:21:06
◼
►
hate the normal breakfast like I do not
[TS]
00:21:08
◼
►
like french toast
[TS]
00:21:10
◼
►
I do not like most of the kind of sugar
[TS]
00:21:14
◼
►
sweet breakfast things but i also don't
[TS]
00:21:19
◼
►
like to wake up in the morning and start
[TS]
00:21:21
◼
►
making dimsum right away you know it's a
[TS]
00:21:22
◼
►
lot of work you gotta get dough
[TS]
00:21:24
◼
►
yeah i mean the desert and this is a
[TS]
00:21:26
◼
►
line around
[TS]
00:21:27
◼
►
yes and I just I need a little i need
[TS]
00:21:29
◼
►
something I need something to pick up
[TS]
00:21:31
◼
►
the coffee show you a couple John i
[TS]
00:21:32
◼
►
gotta tell you i run into this problem
[TS]
00:21:34
◼
►
constantly and it's why just in the few
[TS]
00:21:36
◼
►
minutes we have we had a we agreed as we
[TS]
00:21:38
◼
►
like we I think we have that the power
[TS]
00:21:41
◼
►
suddenly into which is to agree on a
[TS]
00:21:43
◼
►
time to do the podcast and then we
[TS]
00:21:44
◼
►
alternately add 15 minutes to it for two
[TS]
00:21:47
◼
►
hours and it's working for both of us
[TS]
00:21:49
◼
►
we say okay eleven o'clock and then you
[TS]
00:21:51
◼
►
go and then 11 fading and then I go
[TS]
00:21:53
◼
►
let's say 1130 and I can happen get
[TS]
00:21:55
◼
►
happier every time delay because
[TS]
00:21:57
◼
►
it's just that sometimes it will be two
[TS]
00:21:59
◼
►
o'clock in the afternoon was to like 15
[TS]
00:22:01
◼
►
more minutes like working your urethra
[TS]
00:22:03
◼
►
yeah and and so my problem is my
[TS]
00:22:04
◼
►
neighborhood is full of food well I
[TS]
00:22:06
◼
►
think what you're getting at also the
[TS]
00:22:08
◼
►
breakfast or dessert you through what
[TS]
00:22:09
◼
►
are you know you were going to slip that
[TS]
00:22:10
◼
►
by me well when you're sober
[TS]
00:22:14
◼
►
beyond that the thing you know it's like
[TS]
00:22:19
◼
►
a poop joke as I tell my daughter you
[TS]
00:22:21
◼
►
got it you got to keep the poop jokes
[TS]
00:22:22
◼
►
dry because you doing too much you know
[TS]
00:22:24
◼
►
then you just like the guy who does the
[TS]
00:22:25
◼
►
poop joke I don't become Bell guy
[TS]
00:22:27
◼
►
oh no you don't want to bail guy and you
[TS]
00:22:29
◼
►
don't want to be the poop think about
[TS]
00:22:30
◼
►
the battle is you have to forget the
[TS]
00:22:31
◼
►
bells there i was like meditation
[TS]
00:22:34
◼
►
yeah you forget the Bell is there and
[TS]
00:22:35
◼
►
then you say something and you're like
[TS]
00:22:37
◼
►
God I wish I had a bell holy shit i have
[TS]
00:22:40
◼
►
I'm moving it I'm moving it four inches
[TS]
00:22:43
◼
►
to the right and slightly out of my
[TS]
00:22:45
◼
►
field of vision I'm gonna put it behind
[TS]
00:22:46
◼
►
this thing of home cleanser and I'm like
[TS]
00:22:49
◼
►
it's like a headlamp for instance i have
[TS]
00:22:51
◼
►
I i have a variety of headlamp your
[TS]
00:22:53
◼
►
house and they are not collected on one
[TS]
00:22:57
◼
►
shelf gonna round case the lights go out
[TS]
00:22:59
◼
►
at the idea its lights go out and the
[TS]
00:23:01
◼
►
thing is if you hang on doorknobs if you
[TS]
00:23:04
◼
►
hang like a headlamp on doorknobs around
[TS]
00:23:06
◼
►
your house you forget they're there but
[TS]
00:23:08
◼
►
then the lights go away you just stop
[TS]
00:23:10
◼
►
seeing them so to speak exactly the
[TS]
00:23:12
◼
►
lights go out you reach for a doorknob
[TS]
00:23:14
◼
►
there's a headlamp also lets light
[TS]
00:23:18
◼
►
switches you have one light switch for
[TS]
00:23:19
◼
►
your house right
[TS]
00:23:20
◼
►
you need a little you need to help but
[TS]
00:23:21
◼
►
I'm you never know now what about what
[TS]
00:23:23
◼
►
about the weapons you have weapons you
[TS]
00:23:24
◼
►
know what we should get into it I bet
[TS]
00:23:26
◼
►
you got weapons you get your vault but
[TS]
00:23:27
◼
►
then you got him in different places to
[TS]
00:23:28
◼
►
right here's the thing you can Navy
[TS]
00:23:30
◼
►
SEALs or or an associated group decided
[TS]
00:23:35
◼
►
to cut the power to my house in advance
[TS]
00:23:37
◼
►
of coming into the wind and water no
[TS]
00:23:40
◼
►
matter where I am
[TS]
00:23:41
◼
►
no matter where i am at that moment i'm
[TS]
00:23:43
◼
►
going to have access to a headlamp a
[TS]
00:23:47
◼
►
defensive weapon sources sources clients
[TS]
00:23:51
◼
►
get two cookies a headlamp and a Glock
[TS]
00:23:57
◼
►
indeed you do that thing where you hit
[TS]
00:24:00
◼
►
the floor and roll now man your age
[TS]
00:24:03
◼
►
you're gonna need you probably should
[TS]
00:24:05
◼
►
warm up before you do that you
[TS]
00:24:06
◼
►
definitely hit the floor but you also
[TS]
00:24:07
◼
►
have to look around your house and see
[TS]
00:24:10
◼
►
this is something i recommend everybody
[TS]
00:24:12
◼
►
yeah look around your house and see
[TS]
00:24:13
◼
►
where the the defensive positions are
[TS]
00:24:15
◼
►
like where where are the corners that
[TS]
00:24:18
◼
►
you're going to wear the corners where
[TS]
00:24:20
◼
►
you're going to get trapped and where
[TS]
00:24:21
◼
►
the corners where you're gonna be able
[TS]
00:24:22
◼
►
to make a stand right you you want a
[TS]
00:24:24
◼
►
place where you can fit the barrel of a
[TS]
00:24:26
◼
►
rifle through it but you want to don't
[TS]
00:24:27
◼
►
be so big that people can see your scope
[TS]
00:24:30
◼
►
yeah i mean you want to be able you want
[TS]
00:24:32
◼
►
to do you want to be able to defend the
[TS]
00:24:33
◼
►
position and so you want to write
[TS]
00:24:35
◼
►
amazing high ground
[TS]
00:24:36
◼
►
how do you do that thing like you doing
[TS]
00:24:37
◼
►
beretta we're not all the glass out the
[TS]
00:24:39
◼
►
window and it wasn't making a circle
[TS]
00:24:40
◼
►
with the gun know that rookie thing is a
[TS]
00:24:43
◼
►
tricky thing that's down here that
[TS]
00:24:45
◼
►
that's like some kind of its like it's
[TS]
00:24:47
◼
►
the thirties gangster thing where you're
[TS]
00:24:49
◼
►
like trying to hold the cops off or
[TS]
00:24:50
◼
►
something or dirt cowboy thing our stuff
[TS]
00:24:52
◼
►
without respect are you saying that all
[TS]
00:24:53
◼
►
30 gangsters things are are ineffective
[TS]
00:24:56
◼
►
no I think you know frankly if I will if
[TS]
00:25:00
◼
►
I were going around the world on a yacht
[TS]
00:25:03
◼
►
city if I'm not a super yeah i was going
[TS]
00:25:07
◼
►
around the world of his standard a
[TS]
00:25:08
◼
►
standard yeah well no I here's the thing
[TS]
00:25:11
◼
►
about a yacht
[TS]
00:25:12
◼
►
did you know that that that the John
[TS]
00:25:14
◼
►
Wayne reconditioned a navy like
[TS]
00:25:18
◼
►
destroyer as a as a as his personal yeah
[TS]
00:25:22
◼
►
i did not and that is fucking awesome
[TS]
00:25:25
◼
►
he he got you gotta like-a it was like
[TS]
00:25:27
◼
►
it was a minesweeper something like a
[TS]
00:25:29
◼
►
navy warship and had it remade as his
[TS]
00:25:32
◼
►
yacht and the thing the thing about
[TS]
00:25:33
◼
►
going around the world on a yacht
[TS]
00:25:35
◼
►
if you're going to do such a thing is
[TS]
00:25:37
◼
►
that the smart move is to not have it
[TS]
00:25:40
◼
►
look like a fancy yacht camouflage it as
[TS]
00:25:43
◼
►
a ocean-going tug boat and then you can
[TS]
00:25:47
◼
►
go to these places like the Strait of
[TS]
00:25:50
◼
►
Malacca where where pirates rule and
[TS]
00:25:54
◼
►
they do not think that you are Paul
[TS]
00:25:56
◼
►
Allen and in the octopus they think that
[TS]
00:25:59
◼
►
you are just a seafaring Seto if you're
[TS]
00:26:02
◼
►
a dick if your wheelhouse is unlike the
[TS]
00:26:05
◼
►
fourth floor of the boat and you're
[TS]
00:26:07
◼
►
dressed up like Commodore Schmidlapp
[TS]
00:26:08
◼
►
that's going to send a signal if you've
[TS]
00:26:10
◼
►
got a beard and there's literally stock
[TS]
00:26:12
◼
►
options all over the boat right now
[TS]
00:26:14
◼
►
you're in trouble but that's going to
[TS]
00:26:15
◼
►
arouse the interest of a pirate
[TS]
00:26:16
◼
►
if I were going around the world say for
[TS]
00:26:18
◼
►
instance on my ocean-going seat ugh
[TS]
00:26:21
◼
►
that is actually a yacht disguised as a
[TS]
00:26:24
◼
►
as a seat ugh i would definitely have
[TS]
00:26:27
◼
►
some nineteen-thirties style Thompson 45
[TS]
00:26:32
◼
►
caliber submachine guns that's the only
[TS]
00:26:35
◼
►
put a little disk bullets on actually
[TS]
00:26:37
◼
►
let's make a film canister exactly and
[TS]
00:26:39
◼
►
here's why because that is that gun
[TS]
00:26:42
◼
►
internationally communicates that you
[TS]
00:26:46
◼
►
are our gangster that gun says that you
[TS]
00:26:50
◼
►
mean business more than an m16 more than
[TS]
00:26:52
◼
►
an ak-47 if you have a Thompson
[TS]
00:26:55
◼
►
submachine gun let's say you're on your
[TS]
00:26:57
◼
►
seat ugh and you're going through the
[TS]
00:26:58
◼
►
Straits of Malacca and some pirates
[TS]
00:27:01
◼
►
started assaulting your yacht right here
[TS]
00:27:06
◼
►
come the Pirates and you're driving
[TS]
00:27:07
◼
►
through the night you see them on the
[TS]
00:27:09
◼
►
radar there they don't have any lights
[TS]
00:27:12
◼
►
on their boats and they're coming
[TS]
00:27:13
◼
►
they're coming at you they're gonna
[TS]
00:27:15
◼
►
they're going to jump on your boat
[TS]
00:27:16
◼
►
they're going to take it over and then
[TS]
00:27:18
◼
►
you just boom you put on all the
[TS]
00:27:20
◼
►
spotlights and you and your and your
[TS]
00:27:22
◼
►
crew are standing on the back your boat
[TS]
00:27:24
◼
►
with Thompson submachine guns and you're
[TS]
00:27:26
◼
►
wearing suits and fedoras no pirate
[TS]
00:27:29
◼
►
would ever make a statically just see
[TS]
00:27:32
◼
►
the outline of the Thompson 45 caliber
[TS]
00:27:35
◼
►
submachine gun he all you see is the
[TS]
00:27:37
◼
►
shadow of that and you know businesses
[TS]
00:27:38
◼
►
meant that's right you're like oh bring
[TS]
00:27:41
◼
►
relief knowing Seto you got a 45 or
[TS]
00:27:44
◼
►
something well it's gonna be a big gun
[TS]
00:27:46
◼
►
that goes pop but you see somebody with
[TS]
00:27:47
◼
►
one of those things with the film
[TS]
00:27:48
◼
►
canister on it you're going to really
[TS]
00:27:49
◼
►
rethink the whole piracy situation i'm
[TS]
00:27:51
◼
►
gonna leave a lot of Malacca is that
[TS]
00:27:53
◼
►
what it's called The Straits of Malacca
[TS]
00:27:54
◼
►
Straits of Malacca ok it's hard to
[TS]
00:27:56
◼
►
navigate in a seagoing tug no no they're
[TS]
00:27:58
◼
►
quite easy to to navigate but uh but
[TS]
00:28:02
◼
►
it's a it's a it's one of these places
[TS]
00:28:06
◼
►
in the world where all the boats have to
[TS]
00:28:09
◼
►
go because it's the it's the only way
[TS]
00:28:13
◼
►
through the Brian like DMV it's like you
[TS]
00:28:16
◼
►
leave Singapore and you have to go
[TS]
00:28:18
◼
►
through this you have to go through this
[TS]
00:28:21
◼
►
narrow strait on your way to the indian
[TS]
00:28:23
◼
►
ocean and it's kind of late it's like
[TS]
00:28:24
◼
►
the Panama Canal except it's a natural
[TS]
00:28:26
◼
►
waterways
[TS]
00:28:27
◼
►
oh it's like it's the Golden Gate like
[TS]
00:28:29
◼
►
this the only way through is that
[TS]
00:28:31
◼
►
exact so all the boats have to go
[TS]
00:28:32
◼
►
through this place and the Pirates that
[TS]
00:28:34
◼
►
live the Indonesian pirates or the
[TS]
00:28:37
◼
►
Malaysian pirates I think they're
[TS]
00:28:38
◼
►
probably Malaysians ok dad would run
[TS]
00:28:42
◼
►
into the rocker well maybe they might be
[TS]
00:28:44
◼
►
indonesian stew in fact i ventured there
[TS]
00:28:45
◼
►
are Indonesian and Malaysian pirates
[TS]
00:28:47
◼
►
working they got started a lot of that
[TS]
00:28:48
◼
►
to bangalore now but but they they wait
[TS]
00:28:51
◼
►
there in the night and you you run your
[TS]
00:28:54
◼
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boat through there and then a and you
[TS]
00:28:56
◼
►
are you are to use a landlubber term
[TS]
00:28:58
◼
►
like a sitting duck
[TS]
00:29:00
◼
►
well if you are not if you are not ever
[TS]
00:29:04
◼
►
vigilant
[TS]
00:29:05
◼
►
ok there are great there are some great
[TS]
00:29:06
◼
►
stories of people in big boats where
[TS]
00:29:09
◼
►
they're looking at the another watching
[TS]
00:29:11
◼
►
the radar and they see that this
[TS]
00:29:12
◼
►
flotilla of pirate
[TS]
00:29:15
◼
►
I you know like this ragtag fugitive
[TS]
00:29:18
◼
►
fleet of pirate boats are coming out of
[TS]
00:29:22
◼
►
the night and they see him on the radar
[TS]
00:29:23
◼
►
and they like gunned it and the Pirates
[TS]
00:29:26
◼
►
chase them and it's like you can't see
[TS]
00:29:29
◼
►
the pirate ships because there there
[TS]
00:29:31
◼
►
there it's all dark but they're running
[TS]
00:29:35
◼
►
from these little dots on their radar
[TS]
00:29:36
◼
►
screen and sometimes they sometimes they
[TS]
00:29:38
◼
►
outrun the Pirates sometimes they don't
[TS]
00:29:41
◼
►
what you want like some kind of rush
[TS]
00:29:42
◼
►
hour or rush out of style like like
[TS]
00:29:44
◼
►
depth little depth charges which you
[TS]
00:29:46
◼
►
want to have some kind of bombs that you
[TS]
00:29:48
◼
►
could you leave behind a little present
[TS]
00:29:49
◼
►
for those guys is that even a good
[TS]
00:29:51
◼
►
defensive tactic is if you can assume
[TS]
00:29:53
◼
►
they're going to make a straight line
[TS]
00:29:54
◼
►
toward your boat quickly I i think i
[TS]
00:29:58
◼
►
think that you there's there's too great
[TS]
00:30:00
◼
►
a risk that you're putting depth charges
[TS]
00:30:02
◼
►
out there putting mines in the water and
[TS]
00:30:04
◼
►
the pirates are going to miss him and
[TS]
00:30:05
◼
►
then the next person you know then looks
[TS]
00:30:07
◼
►
like a boat full of orphans comes along
[TS]
00:30:09
◼
►
and hits the month
[TS]
00:30:10
◼
►
yeah for me personally since I i
[TS]
00:30:13
◼
►
thrilled to the to the battle i would I
[TS]
00:30:16
◼
►
i think the Thompson submachine guns and
[TS]
00:30:18
◼
►
then maybe a box of grenades how that
[TS]
00:30:21
◼
►
gives you flexibility in your hand and
[TS]
00:30:23
◼
►
you you're a man who if I could say your
[TS]
00:30:25
◼
►
man who prefers personal war for you
[TS]
00:30:27
◼
►
don't like this pussy should have hit
[TS]
00:30:28
◼
►
people with the screen you like the idea
[TS]
00:30:29
◼
►
of seeing have seen the grenade
[TS]
00:30:31
◼
►
literally blow them apart right so as
[TS]
00:30:32
◼
►
the boat comes because they're the thing
[TS]
00:30:34
◼
►
about a pirate is he had his boat has to
[TS]
00:30:36
◼
►
touch your boat at some point right
[TS]
00:30:38
◼
►
right the pirate getting 10 feet from
[TS]
00:30:40
◼
►
your boat is no good for a pirate he has
[TS]
00:30:42
◼
►
to get his boat touch
[TS]
00:30:44
◼
►
your boat so he can make the leap right
[TS]
00:30:47
◼
►
yes and at that point if you're hiding
[TS]
00:30:49
◼
►
over the gunwale with your Thompson
[TS]
00:30:51
◼
►
submachine gun and you lob a grenade
[TS]
00:30:53
◼
►
into his boat you can you can throw a
[TS]
00:30:56
◼
►
grenade 10 feet and he's 10 feet away
[TS]
00:30:59
◼
►
and he's like totally 10 more feet and
[TS]
00:31:01
◼
►
you're like ha grenade boom right and
[TS]
00:31:04
◼
►
then haha that now tell me that that
[TS]
00:31:06
◼
►
isn't preferable to like oh I'm throwing
[TS]
00:31:08
◼
►
a mine in the water and all who but
[TS]
00:31:10
◼
►
worst of all you may not know if he even
[TS]
00:31:12
◼
►
hit your target let alone the orphans
[TS]
00:31:13
◼
►
could have been working this is why I
[TS]
00:31:15
◼
►
don't like modern fighter pilot
[TS]
00:31:18
◼
►
technologies that we yes absolutely
[TS]
00:31:20
◼
►
these guys are shooting missiles at
[TS]
00:31:21
◼
►
planes over the horizon middle you might
[TS]
00:31:23
◼
►
have said it was it was a pussy move for
[TS]
00:31:24
◼
►
you may send another word for something
[TS]
00:31:26
◼
►
a little bit of a pussy move and I feel
[TS]
00:31:27
◼
►
that way about about drone driving that
[TS]
00:31:30
◼
►
was some trance I think I'm gonna kill
[TS]
00:31:32
◼
►
somebody I really feel like you have to
[TS]
00:31:34
◼
►
be at least proximate to that person
[TS]
00:31:37
◼
►
it's just that it's what a gentleman
[TS]
00:31:39
◼
►
would do that's exactly
[TS]
00:31:40
◼
►
okay i have several questions here I was
[TS]
00:31:41
◼
►
gonna ask you I'm a silly question I
[TS]
00:31:43
◼
►
asked you
[TS]
00:31:44
◼
►
no no no why would you not ask me this
[TS]
00:31:46
◼
►
like what if everyone followed the
[TS]
00:31:47
◼
►
Pirates are clowns and they use the
[TS]
00:31:49
◼
►
pirate cannon to shoot lousy and you put
[TS]
00:31:51
◼
►
you to climb out of a cannon rights and
[TS]
00:31:54
◼
►
cannons that's ok all you have to do
[TS]
00:31:58
◼
►
then is rigged up netting around your
[TS]
00:32:00
◼
►
boat catch the clown's you kiss me
[TS]
00:32:03
◼
►
defensive class she just maybe you need
[TS]
00:32:05
◼
►
you need some you need circus wedding
[TS]
00:32:07
◼
►
and defensive clouds look at the edge of
[TS]
00:32:09
◼
►
the top on your tell you what you want
[TS]
00:32:12
◼
►
to do you buy you buy one disease got
[TS]
00:32:13
◼
►
your tongue he's got his your John Wayne
[TS]
00:32:16
◼
►
superyacht as a circus because everybody
[TS]
00:32:18
◼
►
loved circuses he's going to attack a
[TS]
00:32:19
◼
►
circus that no money who goes the circus
[TS]
00:32:22
◼
►
there's my other question I have several
[TS]
00:32:23
◼
►
questions and I did you say you're
[TS]
00:32:24
◼
►
drinking coffee again
[TS]
00:32:26
◼
►
yeah i went back on coffee good I mean I
[TS]
00:32:28
◼
►
assume that how's that how's it working
[TS]
00:32:30
◼
►
well you know it's it's fun to go home
[TS]
00:32:32
◼
►
by all my friends who have learned not
[TS]
00:32:34
◼
►
to be enables about drugs to me who are
[TS]
00:32:37
◼
►
like why don't you smoke dope
[TS]
00:32:40
◼
►
why don't you do bath salts with me you
[TS]
00:32:42
◼
►
can have a little beer
[TS]
00:32:43
◼
►
yeah they're not everybody's really good
[TS]
00:32:45
◼
►
about that but God when I stopped
[TS]
00:32:46
◼
►
drinking coffee it struck at the heart
[TS]
00:32:48
◼
►
of every friend i have people or people
[TS]
00:32:51
◼
►
were genuinely saying things to me like
[TS]
00:32:53
◼
►
that's the stupidest thing I've ever
[TS]
00:32:56
◼
►
it's like Scientology they're saying you
[TS]
00:32:58
◼
►
get your the mob i guess more really
[TS]
00:32:59
◼
►
more Scientology but like you don't
[TS]
00:33:01
◼
►
believe this
[TS]
00:33:01
◼
►
what are you doing sitting down yes
[TS]
00:33:03
◼
►
that's right that's right you don't
[TS]
00:33:04
◼
►
leave this exactly
[TS]
00:33:06
◼
►
no I know so I got back on coffee in it
[TS]
00:33:08
◼
►
and it's great i mean it's a wonderful
[TS]
00:33:10
◼
►
drug and I i love it i'd i enjoy it i'm
[TS]
00:33:13
◼
►
trying to moderate it a little bit and
[TS]
00:33:15
◼
►
not drink like 30 cups a day
[TS]
00:33:17
◼
►
well it'sit's I'm the wrong person to
[TS]
00:33:19
◼
►
make this kind of observation about you
[TS]
00:33:21
◼
►
but it seems like you had become
[TS]
00:33:23
◼
►
something that you were doing a lot of
[TS]
00:33:25
◼
►
making it seem like you there was always
[TS]
00:33:28
◼
►
a pot of coffee being made and here i
[TS]
00:33:31
◼
►
thought i know i mean you know I I this
[TS]
00:33:33
◼
►
is not this is not my job it you know i
[TS]
00:33:35
◼
►
just i'm here to audit you basically I
[TS]
00:33:37
◼
►
want to find out what some of your
[TS]
00:33:38
◼
►
weaknesses are and find out what how
[TS]
00:33:39
◼
►
much money i can get up to put you on
[TS]
00:33:41
◼
►
this electronic machine that doesn't
[TS]
00:33:43
◼
►
actually do anything haha but you know
[TS]
00:33:45
◼
►
they got this you got on muni you going
[TS]
00:33:47
◼
►
on the Black Pearl Street Station I
[TS]
00:33:48
◼
►
don't know how they're allowed to do
[TS]
00:33:49
◼
►
this unless there's a conspiracy which
[TS]
00:33:50
◼
►
there probably is
[TS]
00:33:51
◼
►
yeah but you know those people down
[TS]
00:33:53
◼
►
there and it says you see something like
[TS]
00:33:55
◼
►
normal people
[TS]
00:33:56
◼
►
the tongue people he says free stress
[TS]
00:33:57
◼
►
test you're seeing this oh my god it's
[TS]
00:33:59
◼
►
something that's a Scientology thing
[TS]
00:34:00
◼
►
right so it's totally fine until you see
[TS]
00:34:02
◼
►
Molly 640 yeah you know those dead dark
[TS]
00:34:05
◼
►
doll eyes and they're sitting there and
[TS]
00:34:07
◼
►
get a lot of really friendly-looking
[TS]
00:34:08
◼
►
sign that says free stress test you know
[TS]
00:34:11
◼
►
which is you know it's it's like it's
[TS]
00:34:13
◼
►
like an existential free estimate like
[TS]
00:34:14
◼
►
no matter what you're going to meet some
[TS]
00:34:15
◼
►
shit change your like you know what
[TS]
00:34:17
◼
►
you're going to need a timing belt
[TS]
00:34:18
◼
►
that's just gonna happen
[TS]
00:34:19
◼
►
do you remember when there were hardened
[TS]
00:34:23
◼
►
criminals and the airport's very much
[TS]
00:34:25
◼
►
what happened to them I can't speak for
[TS]
00:34:28
◼
►
other airports i can tell you where they
[TS]
00:34:29
◼
►
are at our Airport
[TS]
00:34:30
◼
►
oh there are there still at your airport
[TS]
00:34:32
◼
►
well that's San Francisco know what do
[TS]
00:34:35
◼
►
you hear will San Francisco see it would
[TS]
00:34:37
◼
►
be if San Francisco which is fucked up
[TS]
00:34:38
◼
►
in one way we would be fine again it's
[TS]
00:34:41
◼
►
like these people it's like it's like
[TS]
00:34:42
◼
►
the bike guys running a stop sign is 14
[TS]
00:34:44
◼
►
people do it that you get a crash in san
[TS]
00:34:46
◼
►
francisco is is fucked up in so many on
[TS]
00:34:50
◼
►
the paradox of contradictory ways
[TS]
00:34:52
◼
►
mhm and so i can't speak only lived here
[TS]
00:34:54
◼
►
for 13 years I can't begin to understand
[TS]
00:34:56
◼
►
the stupid but but what I will tell you
[TS]
00:34:58
◼
►
is this and I am kind of surprised you
[TS]
00:34:59
◼
►
haven't seen that you'll see this
[TS]
00:35:00
◼
►
indefinitely in terminal 3 in the united
[TS]
00:35:03
◼
►
terminal you're walking around you're
[TS]
00:35:04
◼
►
battling
[TS]
00:35:05
◼
►
united that's why oh good man oh you
[TS]
00:35:07
◼
►
know what I'm gonna circle back to that
[TS]
00:35:09
◼
►
I gotta go let's say about airlines
[TS]
00:35:10
◼
►
don't know kind of baking out to get me
[TS]
00:35:12
◼
►
started on usair ok
[TS]
00:35:13
◼
►
oh my god Julie I'm flying USO tomorrow
[TS]
00:35:16
◼
►
oh my gosh don't tell me I don't want to
[TS]
00:35:18
◼
►
know about iÃve grade to first class
[TS]
00:35:21
◼
►
once and it was like being in a portal
[TS]
00:35:22
◼
►
it with Thomas's i'm flying on a good
[TS]
00:35:25
◼
►
way I'm flying to New York I'm fine from
[TS]
00:35:27
◼
►
New York to Seattle from Seattle to New
[TS]
00:35:29
◼
►
York i bought the ticket yesterday i saw
[TS]
00:35:32
◼
►
this on your internet you behind 90
[TS]
00:35:34
◼
►
bucks don't know you know John I I know
[TS]
00:35:37
◼
►
about your you've been you've been to
[TS]
00:35:39
◼
►
college and stuff you finish but you you
[TS]
00:35:40
◼
►
should make sure that's a real ticket
[TS]
00:35:42
◼
►
you might have you might have bought I
[TS]
00:35:44
◼
►
don't know you might about that for like
[TS]
00:35:45
◼
►
a magician or something that sounds very
[TS]
00:35:46
◼
►
inexpensive my feeling about it though
[TS]
00:35:48
◼
►
is that I having flown every airline and
[TS]
00:35:52
◼
►
i truly have except i have not I have
[TS]
00:35:53
◼
►
not flown whatever the Sri Lankan
[TS]
00:35:56
◼
►
airline is but i thought was really what
[TS]
00:35:59
◼
►
you've done is really one oak I've
[TS]
00:36:00
◼
►
always wanted to fly at all
[TS]
00:36:02
◼
►
yeah but uh but no I never have that's
[TS]
00:36:04
◼
►
you know what that's one of those
[TS]
00:36:05
◼
►
vacations I want to take where I just go
[TS]
00:36:07
◼
►
to Israel and I want to see what if you
[TS]
00:36:09
◼
►
can get away with like a walk around in
[TS]
00:36:11
◼
►
a robe and still follow me
[TS]
00:36:13
◼
►
haha not gonna hit but a but I figure
[TS]
00:36:19
◼
►
all the all the domestic airlines it's
[TS]
00:36:20
◼
►
all shit now right i mean they're
[TS]
00:36:22
◼
►
jetblue or virgin they're nice they're
[TS]
00:36:25
◼
►
all I think I think I think
[TS]
00:36:26
◼
►
pound-for-pound virgin is as close as
[TS]
00:36:28
◼
►
you're gonna get to what it was like to
[TS]
00:36:29
◼
►
fly in the good days but it's still crap
[TS]
00:36:32
◼
►
it's still crap just the ever experience
[TS]
00:36:34
◼
►
yeah and and you're flying virgin
[TS]
00:36:36
◼
►
airlines and they're pumping that chris
[TS]
00:36:38
◼
►
cornell song with with a dr dog or
[TS]
00:36:42
◼
►
whatever the fuck song that is your
[TS]
00:36:44
◼
►
their public that like starts to pop oh
[TS]
00:36:47
◼
►
right the purple lighting applications
[TS]
00:36:49
◼
►
like doing that with the purple lights
[TS]
00:36:51
◼
►
and it so anyway it's a nightmare to get
[TS]
00:36:54
◼
►
on an airplane mail and I'm just
[TS]
00:36:55
◼
►
realizing you know that those little
[TS]
00:36:58
◼
►
that I was fooling myself for a long
[TS]
00:37:00
◼
►
time like you know what it's worth 250
[TS]
00:37:02
◼
►
dollar upgrade to have two more inches
[TS]
00:37:04
◼
►
of legroom and now I'm realizing it's
[TS]
00:37:06
◼
►
not it's just it's it's just a shit
[TS]
00:37:09
◼
►
barge it's a shit barge full of of like
[TS]
00:37:13
◼
►
long pigs
[TS]
00:37:15
◼
►
and I just need fucking I just need to
[TS]
00:37:19
◼
►
recognize it it's like I'm gonna spend
[TS]
00:37:21
◼
►
eight hours with long pics on the ship
[TS]
00:37:23
◼
►
part i want the cheapest ticket again
[TS]
00:37:25
◼
►
but that's a long Pig I remember the
[TS]
00:37:28
◼
►
long pig mask and III is it is a
[TS]
00:37:29
◼
►
character and so using human being
[TS]
00:37:32
◼
►
that's good i want to go back to that
[TS]
00:37:34
◼
►
airlines which I just misspelled here
[TS]
00:37:36
◼
►
here's the other thing John is that you
[TS]
00:37:38
◼
►
know somebody has a little experiment
[TS]
00:37:39
◼
►
during all the TSA theater nonsense the
[TS]
00:37:41
◼
►
last few years
[TS]
00:37:42
◼
►
somebody made a fake ticket and was able
[TS]
00:37:44
◼
►
to get on a plane with it just show
[TS]
00:37:46
◼
►
yeah you can make you can make a fake
[TS]
00:37:48
◼
►
boarding pass and it's not that hard
[TS]
00:37:49
◼
►
what I'm saying is a man like you
[TS]
00:37:51
◼
►
I think knowing what you know having
[TS]
00:37:52
◼
►
been through what you've been through
[TS]
00:37:53
◼
►
having walked across Europe spend weeks
[TS]
00:37:55
◼
►
doing and then and then gone to that was
[TS]
00:37:57
◼
►
north face and it to get satisfaction
[TS]
00:37:59
◼
►
my thought is if you got there when it
[TS]
00:38:01
◼
►
was real busy we got you could walk up
[TS]
00:38:03
◼
►
there with basically a dumb sucker and
[TS]
00:38:06
◼
►
try to convince them that was a hundred
[TS]
00:38:07
◼
►
ninety dollar ticket i think you could
[TS]
00:38:08
◼
►
demand satisfaction to a level where
[TS]
00:38:10
◼
►
they would not it would walk you through
[TS]
00:38:11
◼
►
security and apologized like a gentleman
[TS]
00:38:13
◼
►
you know that my dad was my dad was
[TS]
00:38:15
◼
►
great at that a back in the day but at
[TS]
00:38:18
◼
►
it's just not it's just not worth
[TS]
00:38:21
◼
►
interacting with it's just not worth
[TS]
00:38:23
◼
►
interacting with the sub normals in that
[TS]
00:38:25
◼
►
yeah I when I walk into an airport I put
[TS]
00:38:28
◼
►
on a I put on a protective shield of of
[TS]
00:38:32
◼
►
do not touch me and I want to carry this
[TS]
00:38:35
◼
►
protective do not touch me shield all
[TS]
00:38:37
◼
►
the way to my final destiny i wish i had
[TS]
00:38:39
◼
►
a two sizes smaller version that's it
[TS]
00:38:41
◼
►
for pretty much all the time I want to I
[TS]
00:38:43
◼
►
want to get some kind of a suit that's
[TS]
00:38:45
◼
►
like I don't know it sounds kind of
[TS]
00:38:47
◼
►
kinky but i would like a full body
[TS]
00:38:48
◼
►
plastic suit that has been slowly
[TS]
00:38:50
◼
►
releases Purell over my entire body
[TS]
00:38:52
◼
►
yeah I want to bathe in / want to be
[TS]
00:38:55
◼
►
glistening with want to be like a dog's
[TS]
00:38:57
◼
►
I want to walk places I never want to
[TS]
00:38:58
◼
►
touch anything including myself because
[TS]
00:39:00
◼
►
I'm a carrier I'm a carrier now I've
[TS]
00:39:01
◼
►
been on my giving it you know what this
[TS]
00:39:03
◼
►
is boring drinking coffee again it's
[TS]
00:39:04
◼
►
working out okay
[TS]
00:39:06
◼
►
yeah and if i had a superpower yeah
[TS]
00:39:10
◼
►
I myself this is a big one John this is
[TS]
00:39:13
◼
►
that you're getting into a heavy hottest
[TS]
00:39:15
◼
►
topic here this is a big one
[TS]
00:39:16
◼
►
my superpower i have i've put Laura I've
[TS]
00:39:18
◼
►
put a lot of thought into this really my
[TS]
00:39:20
◼
►
super yes that's because you don't spend
[TS]
00:39:23
◼
►
a lot of time with Hodgman here this is
[TS]
00:39:24
◼
►
the type of question that he asks
[TS]
00:39:25
◼
►
whether you want to have the
[TS]
00:39:27
◼
►
conversation might join 250 morning in
[TS]
00:39:29
◼
►
my experience must understand John my
[TS]
00:39:32
◼
►
sleep my superpower
[TS]
00:39:34
◼
►
I think would be the power to rust god
[TS]
00:39:38
◼
►
damn it
[TS]
00:39:42
◼
►
ok your superpower would be the power to
[TS]
00:39:46
◼
►
if you could just point your finger at
[TS]
00:39:47
◼
►
something and make it something metal
[TS]
00:39:49
◼
►
snake other things rust no i don't
[TS]
00:39:53
◼
►
personally want to rust
[TS]
00:39:54
◼
►
are you nervous to it well yeah there's
[TS]
00:39:57
◼
►
no part of me that can rust
[TS]
00:39:59
◼
►
okay look at the metal the metallic
[TS]
00:40:00
◼
►
parts of me are made of stainless steel
[TS]
00:40:02
◼
►
ok it's like the Midas touch except
[TS]
00:40:05
◼
►
you've been driving Massachusetts
[TS]
00:40:06
◼
►
allwinner right exactly it's like it's
[TS]
00:40:09
◼
►
like salt on the roads but let's say
[TS]
00:40:11
◼
►
somebody points are going to you you
[TS]
00:40:12
◼
►
point your finger and it rusts oh it's
[TS]
00:40:15
◼
►
pretty good you can I mean if you give
[TS]
00:40:18
◼
►
you the power to rust on command at a
[TS]
00:40:22
◼
►
distance to you could rule the world
[TS]
00:40:25
◼
►
well I i bet forgive me because i have
[TS]
00:40:27
◼
►
been spending literally every free
[TS]
00:40:29
◼
►
moment for the last month reading x-men
[TS]
00:40:30
◼
►
comics but it seems to me that if you
[TS]
00:40:31
◼
►
got that Thun highly enough if you went
[TS]
00:40:33
◼
►
if you want to meet with Professor X and
[TS]
00:40:35
◼
►
have some time in the Danger Room you
[TS]
00:40:37
◼
►
might be able to get to a point where
[TS]
00:40:38
◼
►
you could work it like Cyclops you don't
[TS]
00:40:40
◼
►
just shooting out randomly but you could
[TS]
00:40:42
◼
►
get it so gonna get metal in your body
[TS]
00:40:43
◼
►
people got metal you can make carbon
[TS]
00:40:46
◼
►
I mean y showed that but you could use
[TS]
00:40:48
◼
►
to me that you could if you could just
[TS]
00:40:49
◼
►
excite the base metals and somebody's
[TS]
00:40:52
◼
►
body can fucking trust their insides
[TS]
00:40:54
◼
►
just enough to get you where you can run
[TS]
00:40:56
◼
►
think about it think about it we mercury
[TS]
00:40:58
◼
►
fish you get mercury in you
[TS]
00:41:00
◼
►
mm you know what okay you don't want to
[TS]
00:41:02
◼
►
get back and it makes no sense you don't
[TS]
00:41:04
◼
►
get it but only the cripples only people
[TS]
00:41:06
◼
►
so anybody so it always bugging you
[TS]
00:41:08
◼
►
you could fuck her hip hop good but
[TS]
00:41:09
◼
►
here's the thing i'm not super worried
[TS]
00:41:11
◼
►
about some person with their hands
[TS]
00:41:14
◼
►
causing any damage i'm worried about
[TS]
00:41:16
◼
►
them using a tool
[TS]
00:41:18
◼
►
right of some kind you feel like in
[TS]
00:41:20
◼
►
hand-to-hand combat you can hold around
[TS]
00:41:22
◼
►
yeah but if they have a tool then it
[TS]
00:41:24
◼
►
gives them an advantage if i do not have
[TS]
00:41:25
◼
►
a comparable tool tool but if they for
[TS]
00:41:29
◼
►
instance had a knife thrust the knife i
[TS]
00:41:32
◼
►
would love about plastic knife
[TS]
00:41:34
◼
►
see that's the thing this is what i'm
[TS]
00:41:35
◼
►
doing now this is what the terrorists do
[TS]
00:41:37
◼
►
ya plastic knives would knives but I
[TS]
00:41:40
◼
►
feel like if I up against somebody with
[TS]
00:41:42
◼
►
a wood knife i feel like i could also
[TS]
00:41:46
◼
►
improvising have a feeling that
[TS]
00:41:47
◼
►
something with they would probably trip
[TS]
00:41:49
◼
►
or something I think anybody who goes
[TS]
00:41:50
◼
►
into a fight with john robert with a win
[TS]
00:41:52
◼
►
tonight deserves whatever the fuck they
[TS]
00:41:53
◼
►
get yeah but if they're chasing a car
[TS]
00:41:54
◼
►
rust off the Cardinals like an iron man
[TS]
00:41:57
◼
►
wears down his power to use that kind of
[TS]
00:41:59
◼
►
the same things like the Emperor right
[TS]
00:42:01
◼
►
where she got a little bit you need to
[TS]
00:42:02
◼
►
rest in this case i would not even
[TS]
00:42:04
◼
►
wasting your powers on somebody with a
[TS]
00:42:05
◼
►
wooden knife I just beat the shit out of
[TS]
00:42:07
◼
►
you could be the shit out of him right
[TS]
00:42:08
◼
►
now because they're looking at me
[TS]
00:42:09
◼
►
they're thinking how is that are you
[TS]
00:42:11
◼
►
gonna use your rust powers here mr. guy
[TS]
00:42:13
◼
►
and I'd be like pow right in the know he
[TS]
00:42:15
◼
►
just makes me feel bad about himself
[TS]
00:42:17
◼
►
yeah that's just hey what's up with
[TS]
00:42:18
◼
►
knife nice-nice with knife would knife
[TS]
00:42:22
◼
►
so I think I think rest i think rusting
[TS]
00:42:25
◼
►
you know because my eventual goal as a
[TS]
00:42:28
◼
►
superhero is not to be part of a team of
[TS]
00:42:32
◼
►
you know do-gooders my little or as a
[TS]
00:42:36
◼
►
superhero is to you know is to bring
[TS]
00:42:39
◼
►
peace to the world I think there's a lot
[TS]
00:42:41
◼
►
of people start out that way Jonathan
[TS]
00:42:42
◼
►
messianic the super messy anyone so you
[TS]
00:42:45
◼
►
put on a robe and people follow your
[TS]
00:42:46
◼
►
arrest me arrest man is that what's the
[TS]
00:42:48
◼
►
no not not have to come up with
[TS]
00:42:50
◼
►
something I have to come up with you
[TS]
00:42:51
◼
►
know I'd be so far everything I've got
[TS]
00:42:53
◼
►
I don't like any specific I've got rust
[TS]
00:42:55
◼
►
man I've got I've got rusty right
[TS]
00:42:59
◼
►
not good i've got one this sound this
[TS]
00:43:00
◼
►
sounds like a good kid soccer team the
[TS]
00:43:03
◼
►
rust you mean just the rest the rust I'm
[TS]
00:43:06
◼
►
not just rust was it I know what is it
[TS]
00:43:09
◼
►
what is it what is dress it's like
[TS]
00:43:10
◼
►
oxidated metal yeah is it could be the
[TS]
00:43:13
◼
►
oxidizer I could be up to date or
[TS]
00:43:16
◼
►
oxidative tour that's pretty good i am
[TS]
00:43:20
◼
►
thought about that a lot of iron man
[TS]
00:43:21
◼
►
would just be like poof right I'm I
[TS]
00:43:25
◼
►
don't know he has the repulsor hang on
[TS]
00:43:27
◼
►
hand so you can like shoot repulsor
[TS]
00:43:28
◼
►
beams that shit
[TS]
00:43:29
◼
►
iron man is a pretty cool superhero
[TS]
00:43:31
◼
►
yes he's up like a pretty high-tech
[TS]
00:43:32
◼
►
Batman in a lot of ways you've got to
[TS]
00:43:34
◼
►
admire the guy but but but against the
[TS]
00:43:36
◼
►
against the rustic mater rusty what
[TS]
00:43:41
◼
►
rusty you would not want to get around
[TS]
00:43:43
◼
►
that you're resting cuz i think it will
[TS]
00:43:44
◼
►
be facing a lot of fucking with knives
[TS]
00:43:45
◼
►
that would be bad
[TS]
00:43:47
◼
►
yeah it could we add another thing that
[TS]
00:43:48
◼
►
you you would have maybe part of your so
[TS]
00:43:51
◼
►
if I could say and forgive me because
[TS]
00:43:52
◼
►
it's been all Marvel for me all the time
[TS]
00:43:54
◼
►
but what if you've got the rust power
[TS]
00:43:55
◼
►
like you've been developing that maybe
[TS]
00:43:57
◼
►
was it for a long time as a trouble for
[TS]
00:43:59
◼
►
you always let you might as touched by
[TS]
00:44:00
◼
►
cancer I'd be like that's great let me
[TS]
00:44:03
◼
►
blow let me play with your all right
[TS]
00:44:05
◼
►
kiss a girl with braces and that you can
[TS]
00:44:06
◼
►
open her mouth and you go out you're
[TS]
00:44:09
◼
►
like roping like I why am i killing all
[TS]
00:44:11
◼
►
these people why my last thing everybody
[TS]
00:44:13
◼
►
but the other thing is maybe part of
[TS]
00:44:15
◼
►
your rest ability is you also have an
[TS]
00:44:17
◼
►
innate sense of maybe it's not just you
[TS]
00:44:20
◼
►
can't be surprised but when you're aware
[TS]
00:44:22
◼
►
of something something threatening that
[TS]
00:44:25
◼
►
could be rusted getting near you i'll
[TS]
00:44:27
◼
►
send that metal meet you sense the metal
[TS]
00:44:29
◼
►
to me that's where the stress to really
[TS]
00:44:30
◼
►
come together and I've home did I hold
[TS]
00:44:32
◼
►
the power so that like for instance i
[TS]
00:44:34
◼
►
don't have to rush the whole gun now I
[TS]
00:44:35
◼
►
could just trust i can i can trust the
[TS]
00:44:38
◼
►
little spring on the inside of the gun
[TS]
00:44:41
◼
►
that would cause it can trust them you
[TS]
00:44:43
◼
►
can trust the muzzle just enough to blow
[TS]
00:44:44
◼
►
up his fucking face
[TS]
00:44:46
◼
►
ya see selected rust ecology and
[TS]
00:44:48
◼
►
conservation to bring it all together
[TS]
00:44:50
◼
►
the being in line the TSA line could be
[TS]
00:44:52
◼
►
a lot of fun when you don't when you're
[TS]
00:44:54
◼
►
rusty we got to get you a better name
[TS]
00:44:56
◼
►
Rusty's turn I don't like rest man i
[TS]
00:44:58
◼
►
think it sounds too old
[TS]
00:44:59
◼
►
ya later sounds like a bad guy that's
[TS]
00:45:02
◼
►
not good
[TS]
00:45:03
◼
►
it's got to be anything about it as I
[TS]
00:45:04
◼
►
think I would wear i think i would dress
[TS]
00:45:06
◼
►
like Tom Wolfe I'd wear white and and
[TS]
00:45:12
◼
►
then at the at the end of every battle
[TS]
00:45:14
◼
►
you know i would like to have to flick
[TS]
00:45:16
◼
►
little bit of rust off of my off my coat
[TS]
00:45:19
◼
►
whatever because that would be might
[TS]
00:45:20
◼
►
that be my er my community will not be
[TS]
00:45:23
◼
►
constantly trying to keep my jacket
[TS]
00:45:25
◼
►
ok so because it has to be something if
[TS]
00:45:26
◼
►
I know if I could just say again this is
[TS]
00:45:28
◼
►
your gig I would avoid DC I would go
[TS]
00:45:30
◼
►
Marvel because that's where the flood
[TS]
00:45:31
◼
►
people go with all respect and also you
[TS]
00:45:34
◼
►
got it helps if you have some kind of a
[TS]
00:45:35
◼
►
like a a is a gimmick but you got like
[TS]
00:45:38
◼
►
that for example captain america has a
[TS]
00:45:42
◼
►
this Thor has a hammer which means got
[TS]
00:45:45
◼
►
this cool claws like I don't know this
[TS]
00:45:47
◼
►
will be part of your restaurant a
[TS]
00:45:48
◼
►
daredevil the blind guys got that cane
[TS]
00:45:49
◼
►
like it'd be kind of cool if you had
[TS]
00:45:51
◼
►
something that was part maybe i don't
[TS]
00:45:54
◼
►
know i don't even interesting to you but
[TS]
00:45:55
◼
►
something that you could use in the
[TS]
00:45:57
◼
►
service of your of your rusting
[TS]
00:45:58
◼
►
abilities or you know or whether it just
[TS]
00:46:00
◼
►
be handsome like a walking stick could
[TS]
00:46:02
◼
►
be nice or maybe a crop well I believe a
[TS]
00:46:04
◼
►
monocle
[TS]
00:46:05
◼
►
I've always been partial to sword cannes
[TS]
00:46:07
◼
►
the problem of the sword cane of course
[TS]
00:46:10
◼
►
is that I'm the rest later or whatever
[TS]
00:46:12
◼
►
the rest was rusted just fine Oh couple
[TS]
00:46:18
◼
►
I say that changes everything the red
[TS]
00:46:21
◼
►
Ferrari and he has his dreadlocks mind
[TS]
00:46:23
◼
►
bari and no God no that's going away
[TS]
00:46:29
◼
►
stuff farm so the coffee's okay that you
[TS]
00:46:32
◼
►
just have enough you don't know I mean I
[TS]
00:46:34
◼
►
don't judge you know I never judge you
[TS]
00:46:36
◼
►
ki that would be very bad i don't-- 6pm
[TS]
00:46:38
◼
►
I can't be drink I can be making another
[TS]
00:46:40
◼
►
pot so important I John as i get older
[TS]
00:46:43
◼
►
you talk about this is the first i can
[TS]
00:46:45
◼
►
also say the second that you mentioned
[TS]
00:46:46
◼
►
was it spicy pork em you put the word
[TS]
00:46:49
◼
►
spicy in front of any food and i'm back
[TS]
00:46:51
◼
►
in vancouver after i had some spicy tuna
[TS]
00:46:53
◼
►
and went to a sloan show i did not get
[TS]
00:46:55
◼
►
to see a lot of the slideshow
[TS]
00:46:57
◼
►
oh because the spicy tuna caused you to
[TS]
00:46:59
◼
►
have a have a the you had to do a dad
[TS]
00:47:02
◼
►
boner in the men's room dad boner
[TS]
00:47:06
◼
►
yeah yeah yeahs candidate call it too
[TS]
00:47:08
◼
►
explicit diarrhea but it was and the
[TS]
00:47:10
◼
►
thing is in Canada they love their
[TS]
00:47:11
◼
►
bathrooms they were a lot of jean jacket
[TS]
00:47:12
◼
►
for jean jackets
[TS]
00:47:14
◼
►
well the thing about Canada yeah is that
[TS]
00:47:16
◼
►
canada in some ways it's still 1987 in
[TS]
00:47:20
◼
►
Canada you just blew my mind right don't
[TS]
00:47:24
◼
►
know what I didn't have I didn't have a
[TS]
00:47:26
◼
►
way to put my finger on it but it'sit's
[TS]
00:47:28
◼
►
they're still it's still everybody still
[TS]
00:47:30
◼
►
went running tonight
[TS]
00:47:31
◼
►
that's right it is it is like I think
[TS]
00:47:33
◼
►
I've told you this before but I feel
[TS]
00:47:34
◼
►
like Canada is like the original 21 Jump
[TS]
00:47:38
◼
►
Street like everybody everybody's kind
[TS]
00:47:41
◼
►
of hip kind of groovy they're nowhere in
[TS]
00:47:44
◼
►
the kind of 1987 way and it's so
[TS]
00:47:47
◼
►
candidates like a polite like pilot for
[TS]
00:47:50
◼
►
the nineties yeah right exactly like the
[TS]
00:47:53
◼
►
gangs in Canada don't we're ready
[TS]
00:47:55
◼
►
blue handkerchiefs they were green and
[TS]
00:47:57
◼
►
yellow energies they know what Thank You
[TS]
00:47:59
◼
►
code is they know well then the head
[TS]
00:48:03
◼
►
like they don't want to they want to be
[TS]
00:48:05
◼
►
gangs but they don't want to be like oh
[TS]
00:48:06
◼
►
don't want to get the Crips upset bc
[TS]
00:48:09
◼
►
they came up with their own colors like
[TS]
00:48:11
◼
►
green i think if you have a checkered
[TS]
00:48:13
◼
►
hanky in your back right pocket means
[TS]
00:48:15
◼
►
you like to apologize and if you have in
[TS]
00:48:17
◼
►
your left pocket means you like to
[TS]
00:48:18
◼
►
apologize to
[TS]
00:48:19
◼
►
oh I see the Toronto hanky code up so
[TS]
00:48:23
◼
►
that those guys open for arcade fire
[TS]
00:48:24
◼
►
they're pretty great very complicated
[TS]
00:48:26
◼
►
when you're trying to negotiate whether
[TS]
00:48:28
◼
►
you're a top or a bottom because not
[TS]
00:48:29
◼
►
everybody is a top and I think I think
[TS]
00:48:31
◼
►
Canada's the bottom
[TS]
00:48:32
◼
►
well you would think that but there are
[TS]
00:48:35
◼
►
some pretty tough characters in Canada
[TS]
00:48:36
◼
►
they're just bottoms yeah there's some
[TS]
00:48:40
◼
►
pretty tough bottom some pretty
[TS]
00:48:42
◼
►
resilient bottoms me now we kid but i
[TS]
00:48:46
◼
►
mean i boy do I ever really like canada
[TS]
00:48:48
◼
►
canada new zealand you know I've only
[TS]
00:48:49
◼
►
been 24 countries but but the the two of
[TS]
00:48:51
◼
►
them i like a lot of canada new zealand
[TS]
00:48:53
◼
►
I hear I hear a new zealand they say New
[TS]
00:48:56
◼
►
Zealand is like England in the fifties
[TS]
00:48:58
◼
►
you mean declining up a simpler is
[TS]
00:49:04
◼
►
tingling us we're not on my list England
[TS]
00:49:06
◼
►
was fine that's nice what the third
[TS]
00:49:07
◼
►
country you have the 4 i've been to been
[TS]
00:49:09
◼
►
in New Zealand England Canada and
[TS]
00:49:11
◼
►
America anything up see what is today
[TS]
00:49:15
◼
►
for 74 countries huh well that's some
[TS]
00:49:18
◼
►
variation on the theme
[TS]
00:49:21
◼
►
well I really I'd reached a point in my
[TS]
00:49:22
◼
►
life where I had some things to think
[TS]
00:49:24
◼
►
about so i took a very long walk took a
[TS]
00:49:26
◼
►
very long walk from my office not to the
[TS]
00:49:29
◼
►
burrito place and then i got back i did
[TS]
00:49:31
◼
►
get tore the shit out of that goddamn
[TS]
00:49:32
◼
►
northface place
[TS]
00:49:34
◼
►
yes I said you gave me this family back
[TS]
00:49:35
◼
►
Danny pack broke while I was waiting for
[TS]
00:49:38
◼
►
my burrito my burrito my Bronco burrito
[TS]
00:49:40
◼
►
was there used to be a time when you
[TS]
00:49:42
◼
►
could depend on this is equipment could
[TS]
00:49:43
◼
►
save your life
[TS]
00:49:45
◼
►
that's right that's right I was
[TS]
00:49:46
◼
►
depending on this equipment i kinda love
[TS]
00:49:49
◼
►
that's everything that's what you say to
[TS]
00:49:50
◼
►
remember that people remember the story
[TS]
00:49:52
◼
►
John I think you have talked a lot if I
[TS]
00:49:53
◼
►
could say your show
[TS]
00:49:55
◼
►
I think you've taught a lot of people
[TS]
00:49:56
◼
►
not simply how to demand satisfaction
[TS]
00:50:00
◼
►
but how important it is that you do
[TS]
00:50:02
◼
►
demand satisfaction
[TS]
00:50:04
◼
►
you must demand satisfaction
[TS]
00:50:05
◼
►
people walk all over you otherwise I i
[TS]
00:50:09
◼
►
got a ticket the other day I parked in a
[TS]
00:50:11
◼
►
parking garage on a Sunday because I
[TS]
00:50:13
◼
►
because I i get tickets periodically is
[TS]
00:50:17
◼
►
sunday a holiday weekend this weekend
[TS]
00:50:20
◼
►
this is this yeah this was this was this
[TS]
00:50:21
◼
►
was a couple weeks ago but I went to the
[TS]
00:50:24
◼
►
i was driving downtown i was like i'm
[TS]
00:50:25
◼
►
gonna be in this I'm gonna be in this
[TS]
00:50:27
◼
►
rehearsal all afternoon and and I don't
[TS]
00:50:30
◼
►
want to get a ticket and I always I
[TS]
00:50:31
◼
►
always parked on the street and then I
[TS]
00:50:33
◼
►
get a ticket so I'm gonna outsmart him
[TS]
00:50:35
◼
►
this time in a park in the parking
[TS]
00:50:36
◼
►
garage and it was only later that I
[TS]
00:50:38
◼
►
realized it was sunday and there was no
[TS]
00:50:39
◼
►
parking no there was no charge for
[TS]
00:50:42
◼
►
parking so I i was already i was trying
[TS]
00:50:45
◼
►
to outsmart them and i outsmarted myself
[TS]
00:50:47
◼
►
i paid ten dollars to park in a garage
[TS]
00:50:49
◼
►
that was where I could just parked in
[TS]
00:50:52
◼
►
front right in front of where I was
[TS]
00:50:53
◼
►
going but then I come out later on that
[TS]
00:50:56
◼
►
there's a ticket on my windshield from
[TS]
00:50:58
◼
►
the parking garage people and I had paid
[TS]
00:51:02
◼
►
the amount and i looked at the ticket
[TS]
00:51:05
◼
►
and I looked at the receipt that I had
[TS]
00:51:06
◼
►
kept from the Machine and and I was like
[TS]
00:51:10
◼
►
this is this is a this is insane
[TS]
00:51:14
◼
►
like I did the thing they obviously
[TS]
00:51:15
◼
►
don't know what they're doing so I took
[TS]
00:51:18
◼
►
these things as you do to my mom and I
[TS]
00:51:23
◼
►
said can you make sense of this and she
[TS]
00:51:26
◼
►
said I'm gonna write them a strongly
[TS]
00:51:28
◼
►
worded letter and she did that she goes
[TS]
00:51:31
◼
►
down to the mark cak she went down to
[TS]
00:51:34
◼
►
her Batcave at where her Butler said up
[TS]
00:51:40
◼
►
welcome home a stew for a computer
[TS]
00:51:44
◼
►
Butler and she said a strongly worded
[TS]
00:51:45
◼
►
letter to these people and they wrote
[TS]
00:51:48
◼
►
back that they wrote back to the like a
[TS]
00:51:50
◼
►
three-word response there like ticket is
[TS]
00:51:52
◼
►
cancelled it was like what
[TS]
00:51:56
◼
►
well yes first of all but second of all
[TS]
00:51:58
◼
►
how many people first of all have a mom
[TS]
00:52:02
◼
►
who has a Batcave how many people
[TS]
00:52:05
◼
►
actually write the strongly worded
[TS]
00:52:06
◼
►
letter a small percentage
[TS]
00:52:09
◼
►
yeah and and these people are just like
[TS]
00:52:11
◼
►
their blanket ticketing everybody
[TS]
00:52:13
◼
►
ah and then you know and then you get
[TS]
00:52:15
◼
►
into this collection process we don't
[TS]
00:52:17
◼
►
pay the thing
[TS]
00:52:18
◼
►
and your double and then finally you pay
[TS]
00:52:20
◼
►
it just to get him off your back
[TS]
00:52:22
◼
►
what a fucking racket John you need to
[TS]
00:52:25
◼
►
demand satisfaction and i'm trying to
[TS]
00:52:27
◼
►
think of a way to demand satisfaction
[TS]
00:52:28
◼
►
from these ticket people with John that
[TS]
00:52:31
◼
►
what you got was an answer but it's not
[TS]
00:52:33
◼
►
a solution and is far from satisfaction
[TS]
00:52:35
◼
►
that's right i don't get it you can get
[TS]
00:52:37
◼
►
an explanation i think they should have
[TS]
00:52:38
◼
►
been an explanation there they're
[TS]
00:52:39
◼
►
definitely should have been an apology
[TS]
00:52:41
◼
►
they're probably should have been some
[TS]
00:52:42
◼
►
kind of a gift for you and your mom
[TS]
00:52:43
◼
►
doesn't understand she could put in the
[TS]
00:52:45
◼
►
cave i would have accepted a gift you
[TS]
00:52:47
◼
►
know like a small gift like a personal
[TS]
00:52:49
◼
►
gift a token gift like a pen
[TS]
00:52:50
◼
►
mm if they had sent like a selection of
[TS]
00:52:54
◼
►
keels a awesome isn't something I
[TS]
00:52:57
◼
►
screams screams I would have accepted
[TS]
00:52:59
◼
►
that there was arcing free parking would
[TS]
00:53:01
◼
►
be nice
[TS]
00:53:02
◼
►
a card that gives me free parking that
[TS]
00:53:04
◼
►
would be nice there's a lot of gifts you
[TS]
00:53:06
◼
►
could give you should get to punch the
[TS]
00:53:07
◼
►
guy gave you the ticket not hard but
[TS]
00:53:09
◼
►
like you should you should have the
[TS]
00:53:10
◼
►
opportunity to confront your accuser
[TS]
00:53:12
◼
►
yeah right in the shit you should get to
[TS]
00:53:13
◼
►
hear them maybe you get to hold them not
[TS]
00:53:15
◼
►
hard but like lightly by the collar
[TS]
00:53:17
◼
►
because they seem to have a uniform and
[TS]
00:53:18
◼
►
a collar these glasses in my budget you
[TS]
00:53:20
◼
►
pick him up you hold them up in there
[TS]
00:53:21
◼
►
like your fucking Batman and you get to
[TS]
00:53:23
◼
►
have him give you in full sentences
[TS]
00:53:25
◼
►
apology that satisfies you
[TS]
00:53:28
◼
►
yeah i would I I thought about that i
[TS]
00:53:31
◼
►
thought about like wanting to stop on
[TS]
00:53:32
◼
►
this guy's toes but then I realized that
[TS]
00:53:34
◼
►
probably if I would if I were confronted
[TS]
00:53:36
◼
►
by the guy that gave me the ticket i
[TS]
00:53:39
◼
►
would see right away that he was from
[TS]
00:53:40
◼
►
Somalia and I would look into his eyes
[TS]
00:53:43
◼
►
and I would realize that he had seen
[TS]
00:53:44
◼
►
war-torn lands that he had been using I
[TS]
00:53:49
◼
►
was alive you're such a sucker you know
[TS]
00:53:52
◼
►
lives in Somalia and if they're not dead
[TS]
00:53:54
◼
►
fucking warlords and pirates planet do
[TS]
00:53:58
◼
►
not apologize for this guy John just got
[TS]
00:54:00
◼
►
a good time playing Cleveland it's like
[TS]
00:54:02
◼
►
the Nazi in Cleveland
[TS]
00:54:03
◼
►
I don't you know just because you get
[TS]
00:54:05
◼
►
old doesn't mean they're morons York
[TS]
00:54:06
◼
►
tanya is not sin x right that's what was
[TS]
00:54:11
◼
►
the chicken tillow Chikatilo I think
[TS]
00:54:13
◼
►
what's his name the guy killed people in
[TS]
00:54:14
◼
►
Russia if he might be the greatest
[TS]
00:54:16
◼
►
serial killer of all time we don't know
[TS]
00:54:18
◼
►
that Chikatilo night HBO show got a guy
[TS]
00:54:22
◼
►
in the eighties yeah yeah the other Nazi
[TS]
00:54:24
◼
►
and clean line and me I think he died
[TS]
00:54:25
◼
►
they all die eventually
[TS]
00:54:30
◼
►
I don't know John I gotta say I you know
[TS]
00:54:31
◼
►
I don't like to talk too much about
[TS]
00:54:33
◼
►
Hitler on here but I'm gonna say
[TS]
00:54:34
◼
►
Nuremberg you know I think when you go
[TS]
00:54:36
◼
►
in there and you do not pick up the
[TS]
00:54:37
◼
►
Somalian by his collar or not his collar
[TS]
00:54:39
◼
►
and demand satisfaction
[TS]
00:54:40
◼
►
I think your castle you're basically
[TS]
00:54:42
◼
►
letting the Brownshirts win i see so
[TS]
00:54:44
◼
►
you're saying that that that I should
[TS]
00:54:46
◼
►
not let someone's a refugee status from
[TS]
00:54:50
◼
►
a war-torn a like and are an archaic
[TS]
00:54:54
◼
►
African nation by obviate might need for
[TS]
00:54:58
◼
►
satisfaction about being ticketed
[TS]
00:55:00
◼
►
improperly can I be honest with you
[TS]
00:55:03
◼
►
yes I don't talk about politics but I do
[TS]
00:55:05
◼
►
know this I do know that at the time
[TS]
00:55:07
◼
►
that you start overthinking this shit
[TS]
00:55:09
◼
►
you John Roderick as soon as you start
[TS]
00:55:12
◼
►
overthinking this and start wondering if
[TS]
00:55:13
◼
►
somebody from fucking Somalia you're
[TS]
00:55:15
◼
►
going to not only stop helping other
[TS]
00:55:17
◼
►
my concerns are gonna stop helping
[TS]
00:55:18
◼
►
yourself I mean seriously with the John
[TS]
00:55:21
◼
►
Rother 45 years ago
[TS]
00:55:23
◼
►
you're John Rocker was finally
[TS]
00:55:24
◼
►
discovering his rust abilities you have
[TS]
00:55:26
◼
►
electronic think twice about then go out
[TS]
00:55:28
◼
►
like that might be his mom's knife
[TS]
00:55:29
◼
►
no it's true it's true another thing you
[TS]
00:55:31
◼
►
should be a dick I'm just saying that
[TS]
00:55:33
◼
►
you know you are refugee from my
[TS]
00:55:34
◼
►
war-torn country does not give you the
[TS]
00:55:36
◼
►
right i mean you're here in America now
[TS]
00:55:38
◼
►
write anything that's looking listen to
[TS]
00:55:40
◼
►
your ticket people report we describe a
[TS]
00:55:42
◼
►
50-year old man with one term like one
[TS]
00:55:45
◼
►
right you got one bullet once index card
[TS]
00:55:47
◼
►
on this guy and that he's from somali
[TS]
00:55:49
◼
►
how do you know that he is in a huge
[TS]
00:55:51
◼
►
cock that's true he could be a war lower
[TS]
00:55:53
◼
►
because i'm thinking i might start
[TS]
00:55:54
◼
►
telling people that I'm a small in
[TS]
00:55:55
◼
►
refugee and suddenly i get if you like a
[TS]
00:55:57
◼
►
a get-out-of-jail-free card i get free
[TS]
00:55:59
◼
►
parking for the rest of my fucking life
[TS]
00:56:01
◼
►
looking at you I think most people would
[TS]
00:56:03
◼
►
have a hard time believing that you were
[TS]
00:56:04
◼
►
from Somalia and that's just exactly the
[TS]
00:56:06
◼
►
kind that is exactly the kind of
[TS]
00:56:08
◼
►
prejudice that I face the garage every
[TS]
00:56:10
◼
►
single day people home in my god i hate
[TS]
00:56:12
◼
►
i hate to interrupt you and Jon Simeon
[TS]
00:56:14
◼
►
York yes died March seventeenth 2012 st.
[TS]
00:56:18
◼
►
Patrick's Day just two months ago
[TS]
00:56:21
◼
►
is that right he lived until two months
[TS]
00:56:23
◼
►
ago he practicing it together parade
[TS]
00:56:25
◼
►
they love parades
[TS]
00:56:26
◼
►
you know they have a saint patrick's day
[TS]
00:56:28
◼
►
i'm guessing and clean there's a lot of
[TS]
00:56:30
◼
►
poles ironically enough in a frenzy
[TS]
00:56:32
◼
►
Polish man was he at one of the big
[TS]
00:56:33
◼
►
camps and he was Ukrainian
[TS]
00:56:36
◼
►
ok yeah I'm you and the other grain it's
[TS]
00:56:39
◼
►
a Ukraine he was a Nazi in the Ukraine
[TS]
00:56:41
◼
►
didn't have an outpost there did that
[TS]
00:56:44
◼
►
the Nazis yeah yeah sure they they
[TS]
00:56:48
◼
►
invaded that's pretty far west right
[TS]
00:56:50
◼
►
east I I thought the whole problem was
[TS]
00:56:54
◼
►
they didn't opponent thing again how to
[TS]
00:56:56
◼
►
get all the way to Ukraine Ukraine is in
[TS]
00:56:59
◼
►
between a germany and russia so the they
[TS]
00:57:02
◼
►
took over the Ukraine on their way
[TS]
00:57:05
◼
►
station from their way they're on their
[TS]
00:57:08
◼
►
way to Moscow but i know that the time
[TS]
00:57:10
◼
►
of course the Ukraine was part of the
[TS]
00:57:12
◼
►
USSR right so it just seemed like we
[TS]
00:57:15
◼
►
always say Russia mean yeah that's
[TS]
00:57:17
◼
►
that's like calling United States iowa
[TS]
00:57:19
◼
►
he was so he was in the Ukraine so he
[TS]
00:57:21
◼
►
was a Russian he would you know and he
[TS]
00:57:23
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was drafted into the Russian army has
[TS]
00:57:25
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been he was a prisoner of war the soviet
[TS]
00:57:28
◼
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fishy right exactly
[TS]
00:57:31
◼
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he was a vichy guy he he went with the
[TS]
00:57:33
◼
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he went over to the other side
[TS]
00:57:36
◼
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ok and so booboo dum-dum yet who you
[TS]
00:57:40
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don't know him
[TS]
00:57:41
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now double-time York know that bad a
[TS]
00:57:44
◼
►
couple questions about world war two now
[TS]
00:57:45
◼
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is it now Hitler did a lot of bad stuff
[TS]
00:57:47
◼
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you did you but is it stands for that
[TS]
00:57:50
◼
►
isn't it kind of you tell me it seems to
[TS]
00:57:52
◼
►
me that like one of the stupidest things
[TS]
00:57:53
◼
►
he did was trying to go to Russia is it
[TS]
00:57:55
◼
►
didn't Polian have kind of the same
[TS]
00:57:57
◼
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problem he loves compared himself to all
[TS]
00:57:59
◼
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these other guys he's going to be the
[TS]
00:58:00
◼
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Caesar third right gonna let thousand
[TS]
00:58:02
◼
►
years but it isn't kind of stupid to try
[TS]
00:58:04
◼
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and march into into the Soviet Union but
[TS]
00:58:06
◼
►
it wasn't kind of a dumb move but you
[TS]
00:58:08
◼
►
know this is a lot of this is a
[TS]
00:58:09
◼
►
different podcast we need to have a
[TS]
00:58:10
◼
►
podcast where you and I refined
[TS]
00:58:12
◼
►
different a different episode or should
[TS]
00:58:14
◼
►
we start a new property uh you know new
[TS]
00:58:16
◼
►
property i think i hit learning stuff
[TS]
00:58:18
◼
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and we headed here we could have that be
[TS]
00:58:20
◼
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one where we could have guests because I
[TS]
00:58:22
◼
►
there are so many i am i've learned
[TS]
00:58:26
◼
►
maybe want to hold to account for some
[TS]
00:58:27
◼
►
at their their their I've learned from
[TS]
00:58:30
◼
►
internet there are a lot of guys who
[TS]
00:58:31
◼
►
want to talk about world war two and we
[TS]
00:58:33
◼
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can have on the program and they could
[TS]
00:58:35
◼
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tell us if you want to get your silkworm
[TS]
00:58:37
◼
►
if you like some songs are about a lot
[TS]
00:58:39
◼
►
but if you about world war 2i think one
[TS]
00:58:41
◼
►
of the guys I think might have been the
[TS]
00:58:43
◼
►
guitar player was his name not Tim but
[TS]
00:58:45
◼
►
the other guy i think he said give me
[TS]
00:58:47
◼
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support
[TS]
00:58:47
◼
►
yeah well I mean I saw my dad
[TS]
00:58:49
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►
cancer and Madame yeah unless of course
[TS]
00:58:51
◼
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I mean I stood around the backstage and
[TS]
00:58:54
◼
►
they were backstage and I don't know
[TS]
00:58:55
◼
►
what they might have looked at me and
[TS]
00:58:56
◼
►
Tim seems nice but I don't know I think
[TS]
00:58:59
◼
►
you're I think you're right i think a
[TS]
00:59:00
◼
►
lot of people indie-rock enjoy world war
[TS]
00:59:01
◼
►
2i think you can you guys send me a
[TS]
00:59:03
◼
►
tweet yesterday saying here's the tweet
[TS]
00:59:05
◼
►
ready yeah discuss world war 2 i'll come
[TS]
00:59:08
◼
►
on with that mr. Ellison I have no idea
[TS]
00:59:10
◼
►
who was like that you might be getting
[TS]
00:59:12
◼
►
followed by mr. get listen who's that is
[TS]
00:59:15
◼
►
that a thing I don't know he's the guy
[TS]
00:59:17
◼
►
that had the last did where you have
[TS]
00:59:19
◼
►
your final right mr. Douglas and mr.
[TS]
00:59:22
◼
►
Dedalus I doubt he's on Twitter you said
[TS]
00:59:24
◼
►
he sounded like a real hard-ass I think
[TS]
00:59:25
◼
►
I you know a man like him i don't know i
[TS]
00:59:28
◼
►
thought the keys moved up the Bifrost is
[TS]
00:59:30
◼
►
deep and a scarred at this point you
[TS]
00:59:32
◼
►
know Hitler and stuff i'm gonna capture
[TS]
00:59:34
◼
►
that stuff stuff but isn't that so a lot
[TS]
00:59:37
◼
►
of the reno this is boring you don't
[TS]
00:59:38
◼
►
want to either you really don't want to
[TS]
00:59:40
◼
►
invade Russia and I'm saying this now
[TS]
00:59:41
◼
►
you got the supply chain you gotta get
[TS]
00:59:43
◼
►
all the way Katniss all kinds of sources
[TS]
00:59:45
◼
►
where can breakers bad it's just there's
[TS]
00:59:47
◼
►
a lot of reasons and it's cold and you
[TS]
00:59:50
◼
►
did there yeah that's right it's very
[TS]
00:59:52
◼
►
uh to all of our listeners if you even
[TS]
00:59:55
◼
►
if you're ever in a situation where
[TS]
00:59:57
◼
►
you've taken over Europe and you have
[TS]
00:59:59
◼
►
you have
[TS]
00:59:59
◼
►
you have
[TS]
01:00:00
◼
►
most of it in iron grip of russia alone
[TS]
01:00:02
◼
►
just leave it alone
[TS]
01:00:04
◼
►
so you're saying don't have ambition
[TS]
01:00:06
◼
►
you're not you're not saying stop at the
[TS]
01:00:08
◼
►
low-hanging fruit as we used to say
[TS]
01:00:09
◼
►
you're saying it's okay go up the tree
[TS]
01:00:11
◼
►
little bit grab some fruit but it
[TS]
01:00:12
◼
►
doesn't mean you try to take down the
[TS]
01:00:13
◼
►
whole orchard in the middle of winter
[TS]
01:00:15
◼
►
I'm saying that that's really not what
[TS]
01:00:18
◼
►
you're saying I wasn't steer steer your
[TS]
01:00:20
◼
►
ambitions yeah like turkey by all means
[TS]
01:00:24
◼
►
invade turkey we don't want one to 10
[TS]
01:00:26
◼
►
how hardest turkey pretty hard
[TS]
01:00:29
◼
►
the Turks they want their hard-assed
[TS]
01:00:31
◼
►
writer fighters they're fighters
[TS]
01:00:33
◼
►
okay so you got it like am 27 but
[TS]
01:00:35
◼
►
there's a lot of reason to invade turkey
[TS]
01:00:37
◼
►
because you would gain control of the
[TS]
01:00:40
◼
►
Dardanelles you would gain control of
[TS]
01:00:42
◼
►
access to the Black Sea
[TS]
01:00:44
◼
►
okay then let the mountain goats guy
[TS]
01:00:45
◼
►
that's not what's Russia are going to do
[TS]
01:00:47
◼
►
yet the john darnell haha that was that
[TS]
01:00:53
◼
►
was that a laugh for looking such as
[TS]
01:00:59
◼
►
somebody said to me at one point you
[TS]
01:01:00
◼
►
guys need a unique off of mutes or
[TS]
01:01:03
◼
►
something time you need to shut up I was
[TS]
01:01:05
◼
►
like calm you copy its that's part of
[TS]
01:01:07
◼
►
the show
[TS]
01:01:08
◼
►
what do you think we are cough mute you
[TS]
01:01:10
◼
►
know what that cost now in Hogan's
[TS]
01:01:12
◼
►
Heroes when they would threaten to send
[TS]
01:01:13
◼
►
such a couple more
[TS]
01:01:14
◼
►
what's your question directly when they
[TS]
01:01:16
◼
►
were threatening usually i think was
[TS]
01:01:17
◼
►
general Burkhalter eaten or sometimes
[TS]
01:01:20
◼
►
the Eastern Front has an Eastern Front
[TS]
01:01:23
◼
►
now is the East who are they fighting on
[TS]
01:01:24
◼
►
is that that's not the Japanese who's on
[TS]
01:01:26
◼
►
the eastern Russia that's the start to
[TS]
01:01:28
◼
►
the Russians oh I'm starts the German so
[TS]
01:01:30
◼
►
they're the ones moving east
[TS]
01:01:31
◼
►
you got to get this to the Soviets
[TS]
01:01:33
◼
►
holding the line and then the whole
[TS]
01:01:34
◼
►
reason we got the satellite nations from
[TS]
01:01:36
◼
►
the post-war on is they say no more
[TS]
01:01:38
◼
►
never again will a drop of Soviet blood
[TS]
01:01:41
◼
►
be spilled on Soviet soil if you're
[TS]
01:01:43
◼
►
gonna shoot you got you got to do in
[TS]
01:01:45
◼
►
Czechoslovakia was at the idea
[TS]
01:01:46
◼
►
Wow ah my senses like this i should say
[TS]
01:01:51
◼
►
this paper and stuff yeah i think i
[TS]
01:01:53
◼
►
think that the idea of the the idea of
[TS]
01:01:55
◼
►
soviet communism was that it was
[TS]
01:01:58
◼
►
inevitable from their perspective that
[TS]
01:02:00
◼
►
we're going to talk about war i don't
[TS]
01:02:01
◼
►
know anything about politics at the
[TS]
01:02:03
◼
►
entire world was one day going to be
[TS]
01:02:05
◼
►
communists weather and anyway it was
[TS]
01:02:07
◼
►
going to have to get if revolutions were
[TS]
01:02:10
◼
►
going to sweep the land then it then
[TS]
01:02:13
◼
►
and then the communism had to be had to
[TS]
01:02:15
◼
►
be gifted to people in the form of
[TS]
01:02:18
◼
►
imposing it on them and new transitive
[TS]
01:02:20
◼
►
verbs did your Italian communism all
[TS]
01:02:24
◼
►
like like all young men my age I said
[TS]
01:02:31
◼
►
that is a very contradictory term i'd
[TS]
01:02:33
◼
►
spend a feeling all men who 30 years ago
[TS]
01:02:37
◼
►
were younger I spent a few months in
[TS]
01:02:42
◼
►
ninth grade very enamored with communism
[TS]
01:02:47
◼
►
as Anna and I spend I did like like like
[TS]
01:02:49
◼
►
you hear a lot of God college freshman I
[TS]
01:02:52
◼
►
did the whole like you-know-who soviet
[TS]
01:02:56
◼
►
communism is not communism communism
[TS]
01:02:59
◼
►
itself as you know Marxism itself I'm
[TS]
01:03:02
◼
►
has been a lot of years in college are
[TS]
01:03:04
◼
►
Marxists universities are full of
[TS]
01:03:07
◼
►
Marxists but but no I i was i was never
[TS]
01:03:12
◼
►
like that what i would hold you back i
[TS]
01:03:13
◼
►
mean he never got a hat you never gonna
[TS]
01:03:15
◼
►
check with our poster you never
[TS]
01:03:16
◼
►
pretended to read less capital you just
[TS]
01:03:19
◼
►
it didn't even read all that stuff it's
[TS]
01:03:21
◼
►
just how you always owned your own means
[TS]
01:03:23
◼
►
of production that you always gets it
[TS]
01:03:28
◼
►
always very quickly gets to the heart of
[TS]
01:03:30
◼
►
the the Hobbesian question is man
[TS]
01:03:33
◼
►
basically good newsman basically evil
[TS]
01:03:34
◼
►
you know communism communism and Marxism
[TS]
01:03:38
◼
►
ultimately depends on people making
[TS]
01:03:43
◼
►
sacrifices for the greater good and and
[TS]
01:03:48
◼
►
personal experience has shown that
[TS]
01:03:51
◼
►
people are very much willing to make
[TS]
01:03:53
◼
►
sacrifices for the greater good within
[TS]
01:03:55
◼
►
limited contexts but maybe the problem
[TS]
01:03:59
◼
►
is it's not necessarily for the good
[TS]
01:04:00
◼
►
when now wants you to make stealing your
[TS]
01:04:02
◼
►
backyard with a grill and then you don't
[TS]
01:04:05
◼
►
get food and stuff in that the part that
[TS]
01:04:08
◼
►
drives me crazy i was very interested in
[TS]
01:04:10
◼
►
Marxism really experienced the promise
[TS]
01:04:12
◼
►
of criticism the premise of it is the
[TS]
01:04:14
◼
►
first premise of it is very idealistic
[TS]
01:04:16
◼
►
it's more idealistic than Christianity I
[TS]
01:04:18
◼
►
don't talk about religion but it's
[TS]
01:04:19
◼
►
barely possible politics listen you go
[TS]
01:04:21
◼
►
oh my god I think I just politics
[TS]
01:04:23
◼
►
oh my god only now Mitt Romney joke
[TS]
01:04:25
◼
►
who we can meet our maker car to put it
[TS]
01:04:29
◼
►
on the wall the day that Merlin started
[TS]
01:04:30
◼
►
talking about politics is that Jerry
[TS]
01:04:32
◼
►
Lewis movie today the day the clock the
[TS]
01:04:38
◼
►
good friday the internet cried
[TS]
01:04:40
◼
►
ya Jaane we've got a heavenly stuff
[TS]
01:04:43
◼
►
needs to happen i don't know it's
[TS]
01:04:44
◼
►
probably you know what you know we
[TS]
01:04:45
◼
►
should do we should record it and never
[TS]
01:04:46
◼
►
release it
[TS]
01:04:47
◼
►
I could our Hitler and stuff podcast
[TS]
01:04:49
◼
►
well yeah I mean because i think it's
[TS]
01:04:51
◼
►
something only put this way I don't be
[TS]
01:04:52
◼
►
selfish it's something that would help
[TS]
01:04:53
◼
►
me a lot and it's not i don't know if
[TS]
01:04:55
◼
►
other people people are already getting
[TS]
01:04:57
◼
►
so much help from you on a regular basis
[TS]
01:04:58
◼
►
that you know what they might be selfish
[TS]
01:05:00
◼
►
for me to keep it to myself that I could
[TS]
01:05:02
◼
►
feel like I could learn a lot about
[TS]
01:05:03
◼
►
Hitler from you
[TS]
01:05:04
◼
►
well there that I get this from people a
[TS]
01:05:06
◼
►
lot because I i think people want a want
[TS]
01:05:08
◼
►
to know about the wars because they
[TS]
01:05:10
◼
►
sense that that learning about world war
[TS]
01:05:12
◼
►
two are learning about world war one is
[TS]
01:05:14
◼
►
going to contextualize the world for
[TS]
01:05:17
◼
►
them they are even just captain america
[TS]
01:05:19
◼
►
or just make them understand what's the
[TS]
01:05:21
◼
►
story behind captain america is um and I
[TS]
01:05:24
◼
►
think that that's true but but a but you
[TS]
01:05:27
◼
►
know I grew up I grew up literally
[TS]
01:05:29
◼
►
soaking in World War two
[TS]
01:05:31
◼
►
I was literally soaking in a great coach
[TS]
01:05:34
◼
►
and you get to get water showcase sorry
[TS]
01:05:41
◼
►
please go there was out there in your
[TS]
01:05:43
◼
►
life in Alaska you get five channels and
[TS]
01:05:47
◼
►
you're literally soaking in warm
[TS]
01:05:48
◼
►
literally soaking in war
[TS]
01:05:50
◼
►
my dad was a World War two veteran but i
[TS]
01:05:52
◼
►
was i was from the big you know when i
[TS]
01:05:54
◼
►
was when i was a young man it was during
[TS]
01:05:56
◼
►
the Vietnam War and it was on television
[TS]
01:05:58
◼
►
I was not a manual obviously I was a
[TS]
01:06:01
◼
►
child but but interested in war but so I
[TS]
01:06:04
◼
►
grew up knowing about world war two from
[TS]
01:06:06
◼
►
the front from my earliest times as a as
[TS]
01:06:09
◼
►
a boy and everything that I learned
[TS]
01:06:12
◼
►
about world war two as i got older i was
[TS]
01:06:14
◼
►
able to add to this body of knowledge
[TS]
01:06:17
◼
►
about it so that I can't remember a time
[TS]
01:06:20
◼
►
when I didn't have I didn't have an
[TS]
01:06:23
◼
►
understanding of the guy remember when I
[TS]
01:06:26
◼
►
didn't have an understanding war one I
[TS]
01:06:28
◼
►
had to go back and learn about World War
[TS]
01:06:30
◼
►
the world war 2 i've always known about
[TS]
01:06:32
◼
►
that and so I can't I can't I can't
[TS]
01:06:37
◼
►
picture a how you would be a modern
[TS]
01:06:42
◼
►
person and not have an understanding of
[TS]
01:06:44
◼
►
of of that conflict you know like it to
[TS]
01:06:46
◼
►
go back and I it's not that I wouldn't
[TS]
01:06:49
◼
►
know where to start but now well this is
[TS]
01:06:52
◼
►
this is actually super interesting given
[TS]
01:06:53
◼
►
herself where you are because you sound
[TS]
01:06:55
◼
►
a little bit like a minor or possibly a
[TS]
01:06:56
◼
►
terrier he is another dog that the the
[TS]
01:06:59
◼
►
diggers you said he's not like somebody
[TS]
01:07:00
◼
►
where you say like I you know I was
[TS]
01:07:02
◼
►
raised on a farm
[TS]
01:07:03
◼
►
I can't imagine not understanding cattle
[TS]
01:07:06
◼
►
like you you've been in the given that
[TS]
01:07:08
◼
►
you have soaked in a war right and there
[TS]
01:07:10
◼
►
are other people want around gonna
[TS]
01:07:11
◼
►
understand which end of milk right quick
[TS]
01:07:13
◼
►
right but she--but but you know the
[TS]
01:07:14
◼
►
facts now your father d serving France
[TS]
01:07:16
◼
►
where was he no no he was a Navy pilot
[TS]
01:07:18
◼
►
in the Pacific oh man that must have
[TS]
01:07:20
◼
►
been scary
[TS]
01:07:21
◼
►
well you know you're in an airplane so
[TS]
01:07:23
◼
►
but I mean like even before like that
[TS]
01:07:25
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you know they're the whispers about the
[TS]
01:07:26
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camps but like people people knew with
[TS]
01:07:28
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the Japanese were doing to people right
[TS]
01:07:30
◼
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like the only they knew what happened if
[TS]
01:07:32
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your plane went down anyway it was not
[TS]
01:07:33
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gonna be pretty
[TS]
01:07:34
◼
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that's why I have my father's pistol he
[TS]
01:07:37
◼
►
was issued a a 45 you know 1911 model 45
[TS]
01:07:43
◼
►
pistol as a as a Navy pilot early in the
[TS]
01:07:45
◼
►
war any war in a shoulder holster and
[TS]
01:07:50
◼
►
and then you know later on in the war
[TS]
01:07:53
◼
►
the rumors started getting out that what
[TS]
01:07:57
◼
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a lot of pilots were doing was they were
[TS]
01:07:58
◼
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taking these 45 caliber bullets and they
[TS]
01:08:00
◼
►
were using their knife to etch across in
[TS]
01:08:04
◼
►
me in the the top of the bullet in the
[TS]
01:08:08
◼
►
you know in the actual bullet the lad
[TS]
01:08:10
◼
►
lad so that when the bullet hit it would
[TS]
01:08:13
◼
►
explode the you know what kind of it was
[TS]
01:08:15
◼
►
a like a fake dum-dum bullet the blow
[TS]
01:08:17
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►
itself would explode and do more damage
[TS]
01:08:19
◼
►
and the Japanese you know said that
[TS]
01:08:24
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thats it thats unfair that's bad that's
[TS]
01:08:26
◼
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bad war-making and they they issued some
[TS]
01:08:30
◼
►
kind of directive where they said if we
[TS]
01:08:32
◼
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capture a an American pilot and he has
[TS]
01:08:35
◼
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one of these guns these forty-fives
[TS]
01:08:38
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we're just going to kill him right away
[TS]
01:08:39
◼
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because
[TS]
01:08:41
◼
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because the gun itself is unfair and so
[TS]
01:08:46
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they think that's a pretty high level
[TS]
01:08:47
◼
►
thinking yeah so they recalled that the
[TS]
01:08:50
◼
►
US Navy recall the 45 and they issued 38
[TS]
01:08:54
◼
►
you know revolvers to all the pilots and
[TS]
01:08:58
◼
►
my dad being a Roderick he said that he
[TS]
01:09:02
◼
►
had lost his being in erotic they said
[TS]
01:09:07
◼
►
full-court see to it that they said oh
[TS]
01:09:09
◼
►
alright here's the 38 so he is so for
[TS]
01:09:11
◼
►
the rest of the war he carried the 45 in
[TS]
01:09:13
◼
►
the shoulder holster in the 38 and some
[TS]
01:09:16
◼
►
other holder fucking badass and then at
[TS]
01:09:18
◼
►
the end of the war he had to turn in his
[TS]
01:09:20
◼
►
that is 38 but he kept the 45 and you
[TS]
01:09:24
◼
►
still got that around i have it and I
[TS]
01:09:25
◼
►
actually took it to a gunsmith one time
[TS]
01:09:27
◼
►
in and they all gathered around it and
[TS]
01:09:30
◼
►
they were like oh my god this is amazing
[TS]
01:09:31
◼
►
because according to them according to
[TS]
01:09:34
◼
►
these guys this 1911 model was actually
[TS]
01:09:38
◼
►
the first model it was issued in world
[TS]
01:09:41
◼
►
war one when you see 1911 you don't
[TS]
01:09:44
◼
►
design you mean manufactured know that's
[TS]
01:09:46
◼
►
what it was designed by ok that's what
[TS]
01:09:47
◼
►
it's called but this gun was it was in
[TS]
01:09:49
◼
►
the first batch of them made during
[TS]
01:09:52
◼
►
World War one and he and and and i guess
[TS]
01:09:55
◼
►
the gun was made and then it sat in a in
[TS]
01:09:57
◼
►
a arms depot for all the interwar years
[TS]
01:10:01
◼
►
just SAT there on the shelf and was
[TS]
01:10:03
◼
►
issued to my dad in World War two
[TS]
01:10:05
◼
►
so this gun at seven and they're all
[TS]
01:10:07
◼
►
like this gun would be worth a ton of
[TS]
01:10:11
◼
►
money thousands and thousands of dollars
[TS]
01:10:14
◼
►
except sometime in the seventies my dad
[TS]
01:10:16
◼
►
had it reblued pinched because it was
[TS]
01:10:21
◼
►
like tattered or whatever he was like he
[TS]
01:10:23
◼
►
took it in and had a tree
[TS]
01:10:24
◼
►
blued and they said yeah that that
[TS]
01:10:26
◼
►
ruined it oh no not as a gun they said
[TS]
01:10:28
◼
►
it's a great gun but as a as a
[TS]
01:10:31
◼
►
collector's item that he had taken
[TS]
01:10:33
◼
►
anti-scratch that would've broken his
[TS]
01:10:35
◼
►
yeah if it's still worth the time it's
[TS]
01:10:36
◼
►
still worth more money you know it's
[TS]
01:10:38
◼
►
still worth money but but it but it it's
[TS]
01:10:40
◼
►
exactly the antiques roadshow think if
[TS]
01:10:42
◼
►
he had left the original finish is a
[TS]
01:10:44
◼
►
it's a cold United States pistol caliber
[TS]
01:10:46
◼
►
45 m1911 that's right
[TS]
01:10:49
◼
►
that is such a fucking cool looking gun
[TS]
01:10:51
◼
►
and that's a heavy heavy gun bigger well
[TS]
01:10:54
◼
►
we at one time
[TS]
01:10:55
◼
►
don't talk out of school but the ones I
[TS]
01:10:56
◼
►
don't come back your deck is that's such
[TS]
01:10:57
◼
►
an amazing story but the one time we
[TS]
01:10:59
◼
►
went and shot guns together
[TS]
01:11:01
◼
►
yeah man I you know and he's not one of
[TS]
01:11:04
◼
►
those doing you a 45 and I had to stop
[TS]
01:11:05
◼
►
at 245 245 was just too much even got
[TS]
01:11:08
◼
►
all the earplugs it was just the recall
[TS]
01:11:10
◼
►
what we call it the other reviews just
[TS]
01:11:12
◼
►
it was like I can't have this in my hand
[TS]
01:11:13
◼
►
it was too much it was so loud
[TS]
01:11:15
◼
►
so you never did the 44 Magnum know you
[TS]
01:11:18
◼
►
that you were shooting them for Eric was
[TS]
01:11:20
◼
►
doing great Eric was hitting everything
[TS]
01:11:21
◼
►
if I remember everyone's games Jonathan
[TS]
01:11:23
◼
►
Rothman wasn't was it was a he was a
[TS]
01:11:25
◼
►
Deadeye dick
[TS]
01:11:26
◼
►
yeah cool as we school yeah cool this is
[TS]
01:11:30
◼
►
a really that is so cool that you got
[TS]
01:11:32
◼
►
that by i don't know i mean i've spent
[TS]
01:11:34
◼
►
my evenings you know and again i'm a
[TS]
01:11:36
◼
►
wacker at this but I mean I spent my
[TS]
01:11:37
◼
►
evenings you know reading a lot on
[TS]
01:11:39
◼
►
wikipedia about something is like a all
[TS]
01:11:42
◼
►
the history i wish i would have known in
[TS]
01:11:43
◼
►
high school and picking up now and just
[TS]
01:11:45
◼
►
the stuff toward the end I mean
[TS]
01:11:47
◼
►
obviously Bataan Death March being you
[TS]
01:11:48
◼
►
know kind of obvious apotheosis but a
[TS]
01:11:50
◼
►
great well-known example but it was just
[TS]
01:11:53
◼
►
pretty miserable what they were going to
[TS]
01:11:54
◼
►
american prisoners I'm just thinking
[TS]
01:11:57
◼
►
that like you know it would suck to be
[TS]
01:11:59
◼
►
captured by the germans and going to an
[TS]
01:12:00
◼
►
uncomfortable camp but it was probably
[TS]
01:12:03
◼
►
was not any andersonville whereas with
[TS]
01:12:05
◼
►
the Japanese were doing was just just I
[TS]
01:12:08
◼
►
mean inhuman is the only way to put it
[TS]
01:12:10
◼
►
the way that they would treat American
[TS]
01:12:11
◼
►
prisoners
[TS]
01:12:12
◼
►
what was that but you have to also i
[TS]
01:12:13
◼
►
think taking the context that the
[TS]
01:12:15
◼
►
Japanese living out there and you know
[TS]
01:12:19
◼
►
you know well strung across all these
[TS]
01:12:22
◼
►
archipelagos they had no supplies either
[TS]
01:12:25
◼
►
without in March that's what I had the
[TS]
01:12:27
◼
►
March that that was the that was the the
[TS]
01:12:29
◼
►
flimsy cover for it anyway
[TS]
01:12:31
◼
►
was that we couldn't wait ships on this
[TS]
01:12:32
◼
►
we already can't feed our own people
[TS]
01:12:34
◼
►
right no one was no one was living high
[TS]
01:12:36
◼
►
on the hog out there the living that
[TS]
01:12:38
◼
►
made the German camps in addition to the
[TS]
01:12:40
◼
►
mass murder with gas money Americans
[TS]
01:12:45
◼
►
though nobody will ok let's say let's
[TS]
01:12:48
◼
►
say a prisoner-of-war camp in Germany I
[TS]
01:12:50
◼
►
mean the German like prison guards were
[TS]
01:12:55
◼
►
drinking champagne French Champagne
[TS]
01:12:58
◼
►
French sham things on the champagne
[TS]
01:13:01
◼
►
yeah that's right and they were probably
[TS]
01:13:04
◼
►
said you know they were probably
[TS]
01:13:05
◼
►
probably the camp a commander
[TS]
01:13:08
◼
►
her was practicing his oil painting in
[TS]
01:13:12
◼
►
the afternoon but sitting to vote next
[TS]
01:13:14
◼
►
listening to partner whereas they didn't
[TS]
01:13:16
◼
►
really gay thing we act like you're
[TS]
01:13:17
◼
►
conducting that the japanese
[TS]
01:13:19
◼
►
prisoner-of-war camps the camp guards
[TS]
01:13:22
◼
►
themselves were eating roaches
[TS]
01:13:24
◼
►
oh yeah you're eating wrote Roach
[TS]
01:13:26
◼
►
sandwiches and so there wasn't like much
[TS]
01:13:29
◼
►
left over for them for the American but
[TS]
01:13:31
◼
►
i guess i'm getting at is do you have
[TS]
01:13:33
◼
►
you talked to someone when did you ever
[TS]
01:13:35
◼
►
get to talk to dad about that was he
[TS]
01:13:36
◼
►
aware of what he was facing if he went
[TS]
01:13:38
◼
►
down over the Pacific oh absolutely but
[TS]
01:13:41
◼
►
those guys were all 22 years old I mean
[TS]
01:13:42
◼
►
was I learned when I was 22 years old
[TS]
01:13:44
◼
►
when I was facing if I whatever if i
[TS]
01:13:48
◼
►
simply please continue
[TS]
01:13:50
◼
►
I wanna hear I wanna hear the part of
[TS]
01:13:53
◼
►
your great lost years that was like the
[TS]
01:13:55
◼
►
design that much anyone
[TS]
01:13:58
◼
►
once I might have a lot to drink and
[TS]
01:13:59
◼
►
then they randomly shot three of us for
[TS]
01:14:01
◼
►
no reason but my buddy was infected and
[TS]
01:14:05
◼
►
had dysentery so I'm got another run
[TS]
01:14:07
◼
►
like a like a lost the leg just as
[TS]
01:14:09
◼
►
easily as one of those guys that was
[TS]
01:14:10
◼
►
great that was when you're 22 you really
[TS]
01:14:12
◼
►
do think it's like that usually you
[TS]
01:14:14
◼
►
really really do think that you are a
[TS]
01:14:16
◼
►
survivor at that point and if you're 22
[TS]
01:14:18
◼
►
years old and fighting in a war you
[TS]
01:14:20
◼
►
really do think that it's like ain't no
[TS]
01:14:24
◼
►
thing I mean my dad flew you did not fly
[TS]
01:14:27
◼
►
a fighter plans he flew to DC threes or
[TS]
01:14:29
◼
►
a c-47 the transport plane
[TS]
01:14:31
◼
►
ok but he tells all these stories about
[TS]
01:14:33
◼
►
like there was an anti-aircraft gun on
[TS]
01:14:35
◼
►
the bridge and so we flew under the
[TS]
01:14:37
◼
►
bridge and they could get the gun down
[TS]
01:14:39
◼
►
fast enough you know we flew under her
[TS]
01:14:41
◼
►
or I he he tells a story and I I I how
[TS]
01:14:45
◼
►
do you verify this there's no way to do
[TS]
01:14:46
◼
►
it don't you see that's fucking awesome
[TS]
01:14:48
◼
►
it tells the story he comes to the
[TS]
01:14:51
◼
►
clouds and his airplane he got thrown
[TS]
01:14:52
◼
►
out of college
[TS]
01:14:53
◼
►
he's not into pic he sees a he sees a
[TS]
01:14:56
◼
►
plane coming at hermes and it's coming
[TS]
01:14:58
◼
►
straight at him and he's looking at in
[TS]
01:15:00
◼
►
the distance and he's like what kind of
[TS]
01:15:01
◼
►
plane is that you like and it's it's
[TS]
01:15:03
◼
►
pointed directly at him so it's much
[TS]
01:15:05
◼
►
harder to tell what kind of plane it is
[TS]
01:15:06
◼
►
and he's looking at the plane and it's
[TS]
01:15:08
◼
►
coming straight at him and he's thinking
[TS]
01:15:10
◼
►
what is that I don't know what it is and
[TS]
01:15:14
◼
►
then he realizes it's a0 it's a Japanese
[TS]
01:15:16
◼
►
like straight at him
[TS]
01:15:18
◼
►
and he's flying straight it and it is
[TS]
01:15:21
◼
►
super maneuverable right there super
[TS]
01:15:24
◼
►
maneuverable my dad's plan is not right
[TS]
01:15:26
◼
►
and so he's looking at me done and the
[TS]
01:15:28
◼
►
button the batplane is not varying off
[TS]
01:15:29
◼
►
of course and his plan is interfering
[TS]
01:15:31
◼
►
off course and in his version of the
[TS]
01:15:35
◼
►
story of failing to know what else to do
[TS]
01:15:39
◼
►
he opens the side window in the cockpit
[TS]
01:15:42
◼
►
pulls this 45 that I have stone out
[TS]
01:15:45
◼
►
sticks it out the window and fires like
[TS]
01:15:50
◼
►
eight rounds at the at the zero and then
[TS]
01:15:56
◼
►
grab the stick and pulls straight up and
[TS]
01:16:00
◼
►
goes up into a cloud in the city have a
[TS]
01:16:04
◼
►
lot of stories like that never never saw
[TS]
01:16:06
◼
►
the plane again so he assumed that he
[TS]
01:16:08
◼
►
shot it down 0 didn't come after him so
[TS]
01:16:12
◼
►
he assumes that he shot him a scare them
[TS]
01:16:14
◼
►
off with his pistol
[TS]
01:16:16
◼
►
yeah that's what I was my they really
[TS]
01:16:19
◼
►
were the greatest generation they really
[TS]
01:16:21
◼
►
were they were the greatest greatest
[TS]
01:16:23
◼
►
generation the most most full of shit
[TS]
01:16:25
◼
►
generation but that's a bit that sort of
[TS]
01:16:27
◼
►
me that's the most every that time broke
[TS]
01:16:29
◼
►
up the most bullshit generation
[TS]
01:16:31
◼
►
ya know I couldn't get through the first
[TS]
01:16:33
◼
►
chapter of my favorite story of my data
[TS]
01:16:36
◼
►
he said he was you know who's landing
[TS]
01:16:38
◼
►
landing supplies landing ammunition and
[TS]
01:16:40
◼
►
and so what he would do is Atlanta that
[TS]
01:16:44
◼
►
the Americans would would be taking over
[TS]
01:16:46
◼
►
an island and then the goal is always to
[TS]
01:16:49
◼
►
get to the airstrip right
[TS]
01:16:50
◼
►
the Japanese would have an airstrip on
[TS]
01:16:52
◼
►
an island the Americans would invade
[TS]
01:16:53
◼
►
they'd be trying to get to the airstrip
[TS]
01:16:55
◼
►
and when they get to the airstrip they
[TS]
01:16:57
◼
►
would Park a jeep with an American flag
[TS]
01:17:01
◼
►
on it at the end of the airstrip and
[TS]
01:17:03
◼
►
that was the sign that that they had
[TS]
01:17:05
◼
►
that they had seized this the strip and
[TS]
01:17:08
◼
►
then my dad in in a transport with a
[TS]
01:17:11
◼
►
with guns and ammunition and and medical
[TS]
01:17:14
◼
►
supplies would land on the newly
[TS]
01:17:16
◼
►
captured strip they'd throw the bullets
[TS]
01:17:21
◼
►
load the plane up with wounded spin it
[TS]
01:17:23
◼
►
around and get back out there and
[TS]
01:17:26
◼
►
they're the fighting is going on all
[TS]
01:17:27
◼
►
around the strip's time
[TS]
01:17:28
◼
►
this thing this is a lumbering giant
[TS]
01:17:31
◼
►
you're not this this is a lot of phones
[TS]
01:17:32
◼
►
no surprisingly you know maneuverable
[TS]
01:17:35
◼
►
planes but it but certainly a transport
[TS]
01:17:37
◼
►
plane like unarmed so he's coming in on
[TS]
01:17:40
◼
►
final approach to this to this strip
[TS]
01:17:42
◼
►
where he has seen the jeep parked at the
[TS]
01:17:44
◼
►
end of the runway and he's he's coming
[TS]
01:17:46
◼
►
in coming in hot
[TS]
01:17:48
◼
►
full of the full of full of bullets and
[TS]
01:17:52
◼
►
as he touches the wheels down on the
[TS]
01:17:54
◼
►
airstrip he sees a guy run out of the
[TS]
01:17:57
◼
►
jungle jump in the jeep and peel out
[TS]
01:18:02
◼
►
spin around and get the hell out of
[TS]
01:18:04
◼
►
there and bullets start coming out of
[TS]
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everywhere and he he he's you know he's
[TS]
01:18:12
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hauling ass down the runway but he's
[TS]
01:18:14
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easy easy it is he's committed now he's
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01:18:16
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too far along to like pull up and and
[TS]
01:18:19
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take back off so he runs the plane down
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01:18:22
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to the end of the runway and the
[TS]
01:18:23
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Japanese are coming out of the jungle he
[TS]
01:18:27
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spins the plane around heads back down
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01:18:30
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the runway the other direction with the
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01:18:34
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with the the loadmaster in the back of
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01:18:36
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the plane just throwing crates of
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01:18:38
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bullets out the out the door just pop
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01:18:41
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them out trying to get trying to get the
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01:18:45
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plane light enough that it can get back
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01:18:47
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up off the ground and as they're running
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01:18:49
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down the running down the runway I mean
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01:18:50
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they get back up but they're there
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01:18:52
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they're just talking stuff fucking stuff
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01:18:55
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out any you know got off the ground and
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01:18:57
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made it out of their plane full of
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01:18:59
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bullets but it's it's completely insane
[TS]
01:19:02
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I i I'm anxiety with forgiving being
[TS]
01:19:06
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very useful in that situation I just
[TS]
01:19:09
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regret that I had no life to give for my
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01:19:12
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country I regret that I didn't have a
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01:19:15
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guy I sometimes forget that i did not
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01:19:18
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join the the army i know that that's
[TS]
01:19:22
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crazy i know at the time when I was 19
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01:19:26
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there's nothing I was going to do less
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01:19:28
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than join the army right but now that
[TS]
01:19:30
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i'm old i look back and go well I mean
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01:19:34
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what the hell was I doing ya doing
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01:19:36
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anything that's a good way to feel
[TS]
01:19:38
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pretty useless but I mean the same thing
[TS]
01:19:39
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with Captain America he didn't he didn't
[TS]
01:19:41
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you know he kept trying to join four
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01:19:42
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different times for f every time for 44
[TS]
01:19:45
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f and then they get little guy is a real
[TS]
01:19:46
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little guy but then they gave him that
[TS]
01:19:48
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formula and I'm just saying if you don't
[TS]
01:19:49
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want to trivialize the story that's not
[TS]
01:19:51
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what I do but I'm just saying if you had
[TS]
01:19:53
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those rust powers it could really make a
[TS]
01:19:55
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difference if i have the rest powers but
[TS]
01:19:56
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the problem with having powers is you
[TS]
01:19:58
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don't be you know they don't want to the
[TS]
01:20:00
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army they want you in the secret we
[TS]
01:20:01
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watching some special seek out looking
[TS]
01:20:03
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like a shield that you want to be out
[TS]
01:20:04
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there with the grunts you want to be the
[TS]
01:20:06
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only be out there on the frontline
[TS]
01:20:07
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resting things right and then and and
[TS]
01:20:09
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that's that's always been my problem
[TS]
01:20:11
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with the CIA like I know at a certain
[TS]
01:20:13
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point it was a certain point pretty
[TS]
01:20:15
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early on where the CIA was never going
[TS]
01:20:18
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to recruit me as it is just a an agent
[TS]
01:20:21
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you know what i mean when did that
[TS]
01:20:23
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awareness really really settle on you i
[TS]
01:20:25
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was by I was pretty sure even by the age
[TS]
01:20:28
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of 20 but I had already that i had
[TS]
01:20:32
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already to jeopardize my chances of
[TS]
01:20:35
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jumping in the CIA fundamentally
[TS]
01:20:37
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jeopardize that well but the thing is
[TS]
01:20:39
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now I still feel like the CIA could
[TS]
01:20:43
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recruit me but I would be an asset if
[TS]
01:20:47
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you know what I mean you know you could
[TS]
01:20:51
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still be the English guy with the bombs
[TS]
01:20:53
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but you might not be the one like right
[TS]
01:20:56
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there putting it out
[TS]
01:20:57
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II right you didn't have a beard yeah I
[TS]
01:20:59
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would I would I would have is I would
[TS]
01:21:01
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have I would be the one with the beard
[TS]
01:21:02
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and I would have a handler I would have
[TS]
01:21:06
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a CIA agent that was that was handling
[TS]
01:21:09
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me I wouldn't have I personally would
[TS]
01:21:12
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not have a license to kill
[TS]
01:21:13
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I would you know my license would would
[TS]
01:21:15
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would be under the umbrella of someone
[TS]
01:21:18
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else's license you get sub license to
[TS]
01:21:21
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I get a sub license to kill and and that
[TS]
01:21:23
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you know that's just I mean don't get me
[TS]
01:21:26
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wrong I'll take it but it's but it's
[TS]
01:21:28
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just not as satisfying as being you know
[TS]
01:21:31
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a spy myself I want you all you but I
[TS]
01:21:33
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mean you know but you still be serving
[TS]
01:21:34
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you said Biddy still be doing what
[TS]
01:21:36
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you're good at you can always be looking
[TS]
01:21:37
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►
backward on this thing projected I could
[TS]
01:21:39
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be in Damascus walking down the street
[TS]
01:21:40
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and you know it
[TS]
01:21:41
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anybody suit and equipped with a sword
[TS]
01:21:43
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came and a big beard and when I when
[TS]
01:21:48
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agents came through i would potentially
[TS]
01:21:50
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be running a safe house or I would be
[TS]
01:21:52
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you would be there like I'd be able to
[TS]
01:21:55
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say oh sounds like it's the jackal again
[TS]
01:21:58
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haha my old never cease
[TS]
01:22:02
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I'll see I I can't tell your buddy i
[TS]
01:22:04
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think that would be so much cooler than
[TS]
01:22:06
◼
►
being in the standard CIA if you were in
[TS]
01:22:08
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the secondary secret CIA and you're
[TS]
01:22:09
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fighting the jackal in Damascus not
[TS]
01:22:13
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happen i'd love to work in that one of
[TS]
01:22:15
◼
►
those three days of the Condor offices
[TS]
01:22:17
◼
►
mean I wouldn't want to be killed but
[TS]
01:22:18
◼
►
during lunch but I i love that movie so
[TS]
01:22:21
◼
►
much and just that was so cool there in
[TS]
01:22:23
◼
►
a townhouse like doing spy stuff
[TS]
01:22:25
◼
►
I just thought that'd be the best thing
[TS]
01:22:26
◼
►
in the world you gotta wonder somewhere
[TS]
01:22:28
◼
►
in San Francisco there's a townhouse
[TS]
01:22:29
◼
►
what where people are doing spy stuff
[TS]
01:22:31
◼
►
I think it's everywhere we provide all
[TS]
01:22:33
◼
►
the time it is the thing I think it's in
[TS]
01:22:35
◼
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our neighborhood will you know how many
[TS]
01:22:36
◼
►
of the places not just hand jobs i found
[TS]
01:22:38
◼
►
another one there's several handjob
[TS]
01:22:39
◼
►
places wrong place we all know that
[TS]
01:22:40
◼
►
let's take it as read
[TS]
01:22:41
◼
►
I just found out that the zero replace
[TS]
01:22:43
◼
►
it's actually it's actually mahjong for
[TS]
01:22:46
◼
►
really if you can pull something like
[TS]
01:22:48
◼
►
that off two blocks away from a police
[TS]
01:22:50
◼
►
station is a pretty good chance that
[TS]
01:22:52
◼
►
somebody's here in a bathroom fighting
[TS]
01:22:53
◼
►
the jackal whether it's a yogurt place
[TS]
01:22:55
◼
►
but you play mahjong for money and in
[TS]
01:22:58
◼
►
the back somewhere it's it's it's even
[TS]
01:23:00
◼
►
more complicated than that it's a
[TS]
01:23:01
◼
►
storage place for yogurt place because
[TS]
01:23:07
◼
►
you know what it was a yogurt place
[TS]
01:23:09
◼
►
that's what they'd be looking for my god
[TS]
01:23:12
◼
►
right there so indiscreet with that you
[TS]
01:23:14
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►
[Music]
[TS]
01:23:19
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►
[Music]
[TS]