Roderick on the Line

Ep. 32: "Incidental Boners"


00:00:00   hello [TS]

00:00:07   hang on a second and carry and yes all [TS]

00:00:12   right hand had a situation when all just [TS]

00:00:19   I don't think I understand computers [TS]

00:00:21   anymore than that's alright we can edit [TS]

00:00:23   all this out [TS]

00:00:24   I John I can find my plays just fine [TS]

00:00:27   I'll shaded actually listen to it did [TS]

00:00:29   you know I was just guessing that's [TS]

00:00:32   those were the lyrics and that was the [TS]

00:00:33   time [TS]

00:00:34   god i wish i had selected way to make [TS]

00:00:36   sure there's certain things that you [TS]

00:00:37   never see that I've done is waiting [TS]

00:00:39   I just wanted you that you can't you see [TS]

00:00:41   my effort that's all I cared but I no no [TS]

00:00:46   it's hard it's already a multitrack song [TS]

00:00:49   nice many hangings i'm not a [TS]

00:00:55   professional John professional anything [TS]

00:00:57   it was great [TS]

00:00:58   don't say that no I really liked it now [TS]

00:01:01   you didn't [TS]

00:01:02   yes i did i do singing it I can hear it [TS]

00:01:04   i can hear it in your voice [TS]

00:01:06   I can't hear anything in my voice you [TS]

00:01:07   think you know you didn't tell me it [TS]

00:01:10   keeps the great it you think you know [TS]

00:01:13   yeah there with my voice your standards [TS]

00:01:16   are very very exacting and there's like [TS]

00:01:18   I wish I could selectively like I think [TS]

00:01:21   I can i just say i like to think that I [TS]

00:01:23   could make a dick or poop or Hitler [TS]

00:01:28   related joke that you would enjoy you [TS]

00:01:31   know I hope you're close enough that you [TS]

00:01:32   would tell me if I was not entertaining [TS]

00:01:33   you with that yeah I don't want you to [TS]

00:01:35   ever hear anything I've ever recorded [TS]

00:01:36   pasa its housing is the thing is that [TS]

00:01:40   that the the first thing to mature as a [TS]

00:01:43   when we are young artist is our critical [TS]

00:01:46   sense long before we are good at making [TS]

00:01:49   a thing we are good at knowing the [TS]

00:01:52   difference between a good thing and a [TS]

00:01:53   bad thing [TS]

00:01:54   who write so that's the that's i think i [TS]

00:01:58   think i have failed that test on every [TS]

00:01:59   local don't understand that none [TS]

00:02:02   most people with towards them as as [TS]

00:02:04   artists are as creators is that is that [TS]

00:02:08   they they hone their ability to say like [TS]

00:02:10   that's a great song that's a terrible [TS]

00:02:12   song [TS]

00:02:13   before they never made a song and then [TS]

00:02:16   so they have that they have that that [TS]

00:02:19   faculty and then they make their first [TS]

00:02:21   song and they know that it's not good [TS]

00:02:23   because they're already critics [TS]

00:02:27   oh yeah yeah is that it has a different [TS]

00:02:30   podcast idea but you're absolutely right [TS]

00:02:32   and it keeps people from doing stuff [TS]

00:02:34   yeah you start you you develop your [TS]

00:02:36   appreciation and then and then you hate [TS]

00:02:39   your own work because you're a new [TS]

00:02:42   artist you don't know what you're doing [TS]

00:02:43   yet and then people stopped they stopped [TS]

00:02:45   making stuff a long time before they [TS]

00:02:47   have failed enough times to make [TS]

00:02:49   something good so I love the fact that [TS]

00:02:52   you continue to fail to make something [TS]

00:02:54   good Marlon thank you and I appreciate [TS]

00:02:55   that I just like I said I just I really [TS]

00:02:57   like to be rewarded for the effort to [TS]

00:02:59   thank you seriously tonight I i well [TS]

00:03:02   know let me let me respond i'll just say [TS]

00:03:03   that my I have a method for that I have [TS]

00:03:06   employed since about nineteen [TS]

00:03:08   eighty-seven which is that i have really [TS]

00:03:10   low standards and very pleased with [TS]

00:03:12   myself [TS]

00:03:13   mhm and so you know I i have a sense of [TS]

00:03:16   things that I like and I don't like and [TS]

00:03:17   I know when somebody's trying to sound [TS]

00:03:20   like the Buzzcocks but don't realize [TS]

00:03:22   they're trying to sound like the [TS]

00:03:22   Buzzcocks like I'm pretty good at that [TS]

00:03:24   but I i essentially masturbate for a [TS]

00:03:27   living and I'm very grateful in the [TS]

00:03:30   sense that i get to mostly make things [TS]

00:03:32   that hopefully turn out the way i liked [TS]

00:03:34   is your company accepting applications [TS]

00:03:37   well it depends get a little better a [TS]

00:03:39   little bit about your background [TS]

00:03:40   I've been masturbating for boy almost 30 [TS]

00:03:48   years 30 years how many how much of that [TS]

00:03:49   he done professionally [TS]

00:03:51   uh-huh well depending i would say [TS]

00:03:55   probably i've been doing I've been [TS]

00:03:57   professionally masturbating for 15 years [TS]

00:04:00   who was also 15 years as an amateur and [TS]

00:04:04   then there's that pro-am period we call [TS]

00:04:06   prosumer masturbation prosumer and then [TS]

00:04:09   and then I you know I think I've been [TS]

00:04:10   I've been that I've been working at a [TS]

00:04:12   pretty high level of masturbating a [TS]

00:04:14   pretty high level for the last 10 years [TS]

00:04:17   well this is terrific I've just been [TS]

00:04:19   quickly looking over your resume and it [TS]

00:04:21   seems like there's been a roll out there [TS]

00:04:22   was a hockey stick curve if you like [TS]

00:04:24   haha [TS]

00:04:26   that's part of my technique the hockey [TS]

00:04:29   stick curve they called the hat trick [TS]

00:04:31   even that chick that's another [TS]

00:04:33   dictionary I can tell you that I think [TS]

00:04:35   there's I think there's a lot of things [TS]

00:04:36   that we can talk about here it looks [TS]

00:04:38   like i don't know it seems like a lot of [TS]

00:04:40   your masturbation as public as it used [TS]

00:04:42   to be and that's the dre storing up but [TS]

00:04:45   we save it save it for somebody special [TS]

00:04:47   items i'm storing up and when I start [TS]

00:04:50   back again it's gonna it's gonna be like [TS]

00:04:53   that sherwin-williams logo you're gonna [TS]

00:04:57   cover the world over the world [TS]

00:04:59   oh man I gotta I gotta chase and stuff [TS]

00:05:02   on the internet oceans of spoon [TS]

00:05:04   I don't I i am really curious about how [TS]

00:05:07   much internet com Israel because there's [TS]

00:05:10   a lot of it seems like it really seems [TS]

00:05:13   kind of slick stagecraft a lot of it you [TS]

00:05:16   know when I my first introduction to [TS]

00:05:18   porn was a boy why don't you talk about [TS]

00:05:22   porn haha masturbation is one thing but [TS]

00:05:25   porn you talking about you're talking [TS]

00:05:26   about come on the internet are you just [TS]

00:05:29   going two buckets of calm really thats [TS]

00:05:33   with tk's for bukkake is not lucky [TS]

00:05:36   bucket is that are detected the foreign [TS]

00:05:38   at all it seems shy of warehouses a [TS]

00:05:40   50-gallon drum it's a very rarefied [TS]

00:05:45   vertical space if you know what I mean [TS]

00:05:47   ok that's you know and the raider game [TS]

00:05:51   start [TS]

00:05:52   I i'm doing a cart here Eric Citizen [TS]

00:05:55   Kane is just is just discard runs in [TS]

00:05:57   cartons and cartons of manages bukkake [TS]

00:06:01   we spelled bukkake wrong and then i'm [TS]

00:06:02   going to go with bucket with bu ke ki [TS]

00:06:05   t.com jockey a cocky bucket with two [TS]

00:06:09   case how Albright know what bumpy was [TS]

00:06:13   and now we're talking about God's sake [TS]

00:06:16   yeah rocky puckett i mean like a bike [TS]

00:06:18   because i'm actually shedding about any [TS]

00:06:19   of our listeners if i could say i don't [TS]

00:06:21   want to give you guys business advice [TS]

00:06:22   although you know I think it's something [TS]

00:06:23   John I could help you with bukkake [TS]

00:06:25   bucket with with 4 case ski 5 case is [TS]

00:06:29   available last night we were talking [TS]

00:06:32   about [TS]

00:06:33   so why is there no why have I never seen [TS]

00:06:35   a bass guitar shaped like a giant bone [TS]

00:06:39   seems like a natural thing that somebody [TS]

00:06:43   would have done years ago a giant you're [TS]

00:06:45   playing bone the bone base but we went [TS]

00:06:47   online last night at this we were having [TS]

00:06:49   a little party and we were like what the [TS]

00:06:51   bone base [TS]

00:06:52   come on and i have we couldn't find one [TS]

00:06:54   anywhere on the internet they think it's [TS]

00:06:55   like a traditional like a cartoon bone [TS]

00:06:57   that dog which you on like a bone like [TS]

00:06:59   if if if Bam Bam from the flintstones [TS]

00:07:03   was playing bass in a sixties cartoon [TS]

00:07:06   Archie's style you like my like Anthony [TS]

00:07:09   I think right why doesn't my Keaveney [TS]

00:07:12   have a giant bass that looks like a [TS]

00:07:13   cartoon he's got the money you know he [TS]

00:07:16   could go to what they call a Lutheran [TS]

00:07:17   les claypool i dont les claypool ever [TS]

00:07:19   giant talking about a bum again I'm [TS]

00:07:21   gonna bump looking up and get a bump a [TS]

00:07:23   bump the same song get a bad bump it was [TS]

00:07:26   right at that's me that's when he hires [TS]

00:07:31   the the homeless guys back [TS]

00:07:34   ah the bridge [TS]

00:07:38   well also anyway my introduction to my [TS]

00:07:41   first introduction to porn and they [TS]

00:07:42   always come back to the bone and I got a [TS]

00:07:44   couple questions about that but you're [TS]

00:07:45   gonna be sorry you ever met someone [TS]

00:07:46   introduced you to the point please [TS]

00:07:47   continue [TS]

00:07:48   passive / overcome is the German phrase [TS]

00:07:52   uber come so I want to start every [TS]

00:07:57   aspect of this over [TS]

00:07:59   besides there's no way this is gonna [TS]

00:08:01   turn out well I was west cape may see my [TS]

00:08:03   skype was broken i got a 31 tracks song [TS]

00:08:06   you don't like and now we're talking [TS]

00:08:07   about bones owners in the gym bones and [TS]

00:08:10   his village industries Tracfones I got [TS]

00:08:13   just bones not a great man see hang on [TS]

00:08:17   let me check his bone ji ZZ be 0 and z [TS]

00:08:21   dot com which is bones boom that's the [TS]

00:08:25   second one bukkake fuckit and jizz bones [TS]

00:08:27   gonna gobble these up [TS]

00:08:30   I mean look at Japanese lady well and [TS]

00:08:32   we'll get our walk in our venture [TS]

00:08:34   capital 5% you think I won't let you [TS]

00:08:38   talk about poor let you continue but do [TS]

00:08:40   you think that we could possibly this is [TS]

00:08:41   a vertical space that we could have some [TS]

00:08:43   kind of a penetration with we could get [TS]

00:08:45   somewhere somewhere deep inside looking [TS]

00:08:48   for design your own sites with lots of [TS]

00:08:50   disease and [TS]

00:08:51   days huh actually actually the thing [TS]

00:08:54   after all the things we've done in our [TS]

00:08:55   lives that could be the thing okay i [TS]

00:08:57   will start an isp called called hmm i'm [TS]

00:09:01   trying to think this is a change is [TS]

00:09:03   bucket encourage it you know what bones [TS]

00:09:06   you know what the thing is i think it [TS]

00:09:08   writes itself and we could be angel [TS]

00:09:09   investors we could be i would be really [TS]

00:09:11   commerce we get in there early you'll be [TS]

00:09:14   one of those guys like in the early days [TS]

00:09:15   of the internet where you're just [TS]

00:09:16   stealing all the you're just you're just [TS]

00:09:19   sitting on all these great names and [TS]

00:09:22   then when when the culture turns our way [TS]

00:09:24   who when the culture finding is that the [TS]

00:09:28   prominence of bones that we are [TS]

00:09:29   literally putting out there when it went [TS]

00:09:31   when the culture arrives as it will one [TS]

00:09:34   day when the ship of culture docks at [TS]

00:09:37   the dock of of just buckets which is the [TS]

00:09:42   great and roiling just filled see he's [TS]

00:09:44   and all of the all of the the nerds and [TS]

00:09:47   freaks are like just like it's just [TS]

00:09:49   buckets and word sitting there on top of [TS]

00:09:52   all these like ji zzb you [TS]

00:09:55   kk utes I so much i have to do today and [TS]

00:10:02   yet i'm gonna probably spend the rest of [TS]

00:10:04   my day and I'm gonna make a 29th version [TS]

00:10:05   of that song or I'm gonna spend the rest [TS]

00:10:07   of today finding combinations of z's and [TS]

00:10:10   case and evolve coming and boners now [TS]

00:10:12   John because i want to continue but when [TS]

00:10:15   I when I when I just now I doesn't [TS]

00:10:18   really matter exactly why but I have a [TS]

00:10:20   set up my computer here where when a [TS]

00:10:22   website doesn't come up it takes me this [TS]

00:10:24   alternate thing that says hey this just [TS]

00:10:25   didn't show up and just get an error for [TS]

00:10:27   what it's worth [TS]

00:10:29   just for what it's worth i don't know if [TS]

00:10:30   this is something we obviously want to [TS]

00:10:32   do angel investments we want to get in [TS]

00:10:33   early get out early really really [TS]

00:10:35   withdraw from the entire process as [TS]

00:10:37   early as possible to use to earn back [TS]

00:10:39   you know what we have coming and so I [TS]

00:10:41   just for what it's worth when I went to [TS]

00:10:43   jail right [TS]

00:10:46   oh my god i still want to buy this ji [TS]

00:10:50   zzb 0 nez jizz bones that's bone [TS]

00:10:54   ok but when I guess I didn't get an [TS]

00:10:56   error you know it says did you mean [TS]

00:10:58   jazzbones because apparently in tacoma [TS]

00:11:01   which i think is near where you are [TS]

00:11:03   there's a place called jazzbones and I'm [TS]

00:11:05   just saying you get a bucket that [TS]

00:11:07   fucking Sherman Williams com pany [TS]

00:11:09   changing a to an eye and you get jizz [TS]

00:11:10   bones right into coma coma jazzbones [TS]

00:11:13   letter man takes an eye off of his [TS]

00:11:15   letter sweater and changes jazzbones to [TS]

00:11:17   just bones there's a place i sell my [TS]

00:11:20   daughter about this because we're [TS]

00:11:21   learning about letters and reading that [TS]

00:11:22   i've always been fascinated by places [TS]

00:11:25   that used to be something else actually [TS]

00:11:26   I could put my hand to it now but it [TS]

00:11:28   used to be a website that was all just [TS]

00:11:30   photographs of things that used to be [TS]

00:11:31   different things like father's thai food [TS]

00:11:34   restaurants that are in the old A&W Root [TS]

00:11:36   Beer drive exactly you can tell what [TS]

00:11:38   used to be popular by what kind of asian [TS]

00:11:40   restaurant or dentist isn't it now [TS]

00:11:41   you're right it's like I was at pizza [TS]

00:11:44   hut or a urology clinic where there's an [TS]

00:11:46   international house of pancakes which is [TS]

00:11:47   a pretty spring the sinker give it a [TS]

00:11:51   shot ya blue roof like the variance [TS]

00:11:54   shack and it's it's totally like house [TS]

00:11:58   of top house of hong there's this chain [TS]

00:12:01   of not very good restaurants email like [TS]

00:12:04   diner style restaurants you know you [TS]

00:12:06   like there's a kind of the seventies and [TS]

00:12:07   eighties there was places that weren't [TS]

00:12:09   really a look at Danny's right it wasn't [TS]

00:12:10   really a diner [TS]

00:12:11   you know what I mean we're trying to do [TS]

00:12:12   a family-style restaurant is called the [TS]

00:12:14   clock restaurant and their hook was that [TS]

00:12:17   every sign no hang on for this every [TS]

00:12:19   sign headache clock a literal working [TS]

00:12:21   clock on it which is kind of cool it's [TS]

00:12:23   called the clock restaurant clock [TS]

00:12:25   yeah and down the street from my house [TS]

00:12:26   one of them went out of business like [TS]

00:12:27   most of them and some jackals went in [TS]

00:12:29   there and took the place over they [TS]

00:12:30   didn't really put a lot of dough into [TS]

00:12:32   writing new brand equity so they're not [TS]

00:12:34   there was some black pit plant paint and [TS]

00:12:36   change it to the oh look [TS]

00:12:38   haha with an apostrophe like a look [TS]

00:12:42   exactly it's like as you do it it's an [TS]

00:12:44   Irish cuisine I imagine they took the [TS]

00:12:46   sea out we all do lock it wasn't there [TS]

00:12:49   wasn't you know was an exclamation point [TS]

00:12:51   or anything just look well you know [TS]

00:12:53   there's this restaurant down here by [TS]

00:12:54   boeing field that we that we go to all [TS]

00:12:56   the time that's it's right next to the [TS]

00:12:58   Boeing black ops area where they were [TS]

00:13:03   the engineers are making how do you know [TS]

00:13:05   airborne space laser that's not [TS]

00:13:06   very good black ops if you know there's [TS]

00:13:08   a restaurant next to it a line you know [TS]

00:13:10   sighs look at that look at the right I [TS]

00:13:12   know things [TS]

00:13:13   sure you know yeah from where I live you [TS]

00:13:16   know I could look down into their black [TS]

00:13:18   ops area and I see them killing [TS]

00:13:19   squirrels or whatever they do to make [TS]

00:13:21   two to fight the Soviets but so this [TS]

00:13:24   restaurant next door in it and it's one [TS]

00:13:26   of those places and I think it used to [TS]

00:13:27   be a Sambo's haha yes I have and then [TS]

00:13:31   many many years ago a guy named Randy up [TS]

00:13:34   must've thought it it still has the the [TS]

00:13:37   orange naugahyde seats and and the [TS]

00:13:41   ceiling is covered with little with [TS]

00:13:43   model airplanes of different sizes but [TS]

00:13:45   at a certain point the Randy's sign he [TS]

00:13:48   saw you change the sign to say Randy's [TS]

00:13:50   but then there must have been a a hard [TS]

00:13:53   wind or something and the the top of the [TS]

00:13:58   d fell off so now it says ran may's rent [TS]

00:14:02   is that's kind of weird [TS]

00:14:05   it's great so that's that no I always [TS]

00:14:08   had in my head I always thought Sambo's [TS]

00:14:10   and dennys were exactly the same [TS]

00:14:13   restaurant except one of them one of [TS]

00:14:15   them had a racial slur and all and had [TS]

00:14:17   had a little like Cooley boy riding an [TS]

00:14:20   elephant that was the boy you know Danny [TS]

00:14:22   Danny is it a denigrating term for lions [TS]

00:14:24   you shouldn't say that I don't know [TS]

00:14:26   that's a no fucking shit means but but [TS]

00:14:28   shots a defi- de tenis very disparaging [TS]

00:14:31   to i took the Alliance that it's really [TS]

00:14:33   it's it's not that now it's not [TS]

00:14:35   family-friendly four lions they live in [TS]

00:14:36   dense so i had to help you on that one [TS]

00:14:41   look at ping-pong usually bones to walk [TS]

00:14:44   me through it [TS]

00:14:45   hockey puck in Japan's so i'm watching [TS]

00:14:47   porn porn i'm in fifth grade sixth grade [TS]

00:14:51   I don't even know what porn is I haven't [TS]

00:14:53   you know day he came to this early [TS]

00:14:55   the only boners i had ever had were like [TS]

00:14:57   incidental boners because of of corduroy [TS]

00:15:00   haha but the whistling yeah the butt but [TS]

00:15:09   so the in Anchorage before there was [TS]

00:15:11   cable TV there was something called [TS]

00:15:13   visions which was a you had an antenna [TS]

00:15:16   on your roof that was shaped like a [TS]

00:15:17   giant candy corn [TS]

00:15:19   and you were and everybody in town that [TS]

00:15:21   had visions pointed their candy corn [TS]

00:15:23   antenna at the central location where [TS]

00:15:27   they would broadcast one channel visions [TS]

00:15:30   was just one extra channel but it had [TS]

00:15:32   movies and stuff and you can kind of [TS]

00:15:35   drive through Anchorage and see it was [TS]

00:15:37   like it was a it was a shorthand like [TS]

00:15:40   class indicator who had a visions [TS]

00:15:42   antenna on the top of their house you [TS]

00:15:44   know they had a little bit of money to [TS]

00:15:46   spend on more on extra TV and chairman [TS]

00:15:50   again we have to just stay for the kids [TS]

00:15:52   that having cable in like the seventies [TS]

00:15:54   was a if you got it was a big deal and [TS]

00:15:57   it was expensive if you have HBO and [TS]

00:15:59   showtime it was a really big deal [TS]

00:16:01   yeah I was like having a BMW parked in [TS]

00:16:03   front of your house it was a and this [TS]

00:16:04   was back when when class and status [TS]

00:16:07   I think we're more like everything in [TS]

00:16:10   America right there when we were in high [TS]

00:16:11   school there were only four kinds of [TS]

00:16:13   kids there were the rockers they were [TS]

00:16:14   the preps there were the jocks and there [TS]

00:16:16   were the losers or whatever you know and [TS]

00:16:19   now there are 2 450 different kinds of [TS]

00:16:22   kids are their secret of 74 different [TS]

00:16:24   permutations of rockers I don't even [TS]

00:16:27   know how you would be in high school now [TS]

00:16:28   because you'd be like oh I'm sweetest [TS]

00:16:30   death metal arms you know Belgian death [TS]

00:16:33   metal and it's like we don't talk but [TS]

00:16:35   when we were kids right there's only [TS]

00:16:37   four different kinds of things and there [TS]

00:16:38   were only four different ways that you [TS]

00:16:39   could show you were rich and one of [TS]

00:16:42   those with you had the other visions and [TS]

00:16:44   10 on your house anyway we did not have [TS]

00:16:46   visions but a one point I was clicking [TS]

00:16:49   through the channels on my dad's old TV [TS]

00:16:51   which had a this is gonna be very hard [TS]

00:16:54   for young people to visualize but it had [TS]

00:16:56   a knob that he turned the channels right [TS]

00:17:00   it was pre pre-digital to go to through [TS]

00:17:03   through through 12 or 13 213 and there [TS]

00:17:07   was a uhf right and click through click [TS]

00:17:10   click click and uhf was like tuning an [TS]

00:17:13   AM radio you had like it right well I'm [TS]

00:17:15   that's exactly what happened here so I [TS]

00:17:17   was clicking through the channels one [TS]

00:17:18   time and I got in between two channels [TS]

00:17:22   and all of a sudden on the screen came [TS]

00:17:24   this ghostly a like shadowy image of [TS]

00:17:31   another Channel [TS]

00:17:32   and you know so we had channels channel [TS]

00:17:35   4 7 11 and 13 where the oh and 9 i'm [TS]

00:17:40   sorry no no [TS]

00:17:41   yeah well whatever there were four [TS]

00:17:42   channels and then all of a sudden [TS]

00:17:44   there's this fifth Channel History [TS]

00:17:45   Channel and I realized very assume that [TS]

00:17:49   if I turn that turn the knob in between [TS]

00:17:51   these two channels i was getting visions [TS]

00:17:53   from some neighbor some wires get [TS]

00:17:57   crossed or somebody had put too much [TS]

00:17:59   foil on their windows and it was [TS]

00:18:01   broadcasting visions into my TV if I [TS]

00:18:04   satin monkey with the it was a scrambled [TS]

00:18:07   it was just just this was pre scrambling [TS]

00:18:10   god they they came up with scrambling [TS]

00:18:13   like a year and a half later but this is [TS]

00:18:16   what they were just broadcasting and I [TS]

00:18:17   obviously they came up with scrambling [TS]

00:18:18   because people were hijacking the signal [TS]

00:18:20   this way so then because I heard from [TS]

00:18:23   kids at school that they had dirty [TS]

00:18:25   movies on visions late at night I stayed [TS]

00:18:29   up late to watch my first porno and I [TS]

00:18:32   could have my dad when he snored you [TS]

00:18:34   could hear him four blocks away so I [TS]

00:18:36   knew that I was safe you know he was [TS]

00:18:37   sleeping i could hear him snoring the [TS]

00:18:39   other room i snuck down and i turn the [TS]

00:18:41   TV on and here was this porno movie and [TS]

00:18:45   I had never seen any of these things [TS]

00:18:46   before had never seen a penis i had [TS]

00:18:49   never seen boobs i had never seen the [TS]

00:18:51   any of this and these people start [TS]

00:18:53   having sex and they get to the end this [TS]

00:18:55   is one of these seventies porn movies [TS]

00:18:57   that was probably shot on 75 millimeter [TS]

00:19:00   film and it had a plot about a princess [TS]

00:19:03   who was fighting like some ogres and [TS]

00:19:07   then there was a pizza delivery guy and [TS]

00:19:10   then there was that it was Corvette [TS]

00:19:11   summer starring Mark Hamill there was [TS]

00:19:14   all these things right there's all this [TS]

00:19:16   plot but the but the big climactic scene [TS]

00:19:20   literally the woman starts having an [TS]

00:19:25   orgasm and they must have rigged up some [TS]

00:19:28   sort of like landscaping hose some [TS]

00:19:32   plastic tube that you would use to water [TS]

00:19:36   your firm's or something [TS]

00:19:37   hooked it up somehow in a way that my [TS]

00:19:40   knowledge of anatomy didn't enable me to [TS]

00:19:42   like fully grasp [TS]

00:19:45   and she started to have an orgasm and [TS]

00:19:47   this foam in like shaving cream lotion [TS]

00:19:55   starts like founding out of her and it [TS]

00:20:02   was I must have had something to do with [TS]

00:20:04   the plot of their movie she was a space [TS]

00:20:05   princess or something and she had this [TS]

00:20:08   foamy orgasm but to my fifth grade I it [TS]

00:20:15   was the most horrifying thing I've ever [TS]

00:20:16   seen because clearly if you had sex with [TS]

00:20:18   a girl you need a hazmat team to come in [TS]

00:20:21   afterwards she was like buried up to her [TS]

00:20:24   ears in this stuff and traumatize me for [TS]

00:20:28   four years afterwards in fact ever since [TS]

00:20:30   then every time i have sex with the girl [TS]

00:20:31   there's a part of me that things is she [TS]

00:20:34   going two she one of these girls that's [TS]

00:20:37   going to have the puzzle i got another [TS]

00:20:38   machine it was it was something that [TS]

00:20:41   they they rigged up something it was [TS]

00:20:44   like a rolling stones video like when [TS]

00:20:47   they're in the tent the other guys in [TS]

00:20:49   sales similar six and all of a sudden it [TS]

00:20:51   was like a foam party it was like a [TS]

00:20:53   beautifu and a so and again it was [TS]

00:20:58   coming through kind of like grainy so [TS]

00:21:01   i'm not sure what I was seeing frankly [TS]

00:21:02   but my back in my life what's the ok so [TS]

00:21:06   first of all my first thought on that is [TS]

00:21:07   that they knew exactly what they were [TS]

00:21:08   doing and they were sending some kind of [TS]

00:21:10   black ops false porn signal to keep you [TS]

00:21:13   to keep you off of it like maybe there [TS]

00:21:14   will be something like maybe another [TS]

00:21:15   night like a hot dog fell out or [TS]

00:21:17   something maybe she came paper clips [TS]

00:21:20   like something maybe I'm saying maybe [TS]

00:21:23   they deliberately sent you understand [TS]

00:21:25   the term for this in your industry will [TS]

00:21:26   cut the size of its a problem but they [TS]

00:21:28   probably we're sending some kind of a [TS]

00:21:29   canary trap kinda like fake signal that [TS]

00:21:32   they knew with scar an entire generation [TS]

00:21:33   if they were stealing a uhf TV [TS]

00:21:37   wow I don't know I don't know I you know [TS]

00:21:38   the whole like you know I don't wanna [TS]

00:21:40   get too far into the into the lady parts [TS]

00:21:41   in the in the liquids but just very [TS]

00:21:44   disturbing me but i don't know i think i [TS]

00:21:46   think a lot of the people i thought this [TS]

00:21:48   about sandwiches that sometimes I think [TS]

00:21:50   the people who make sandwiches have [TS]

00:21:51   never eaten a sandwich right i think i [TS]

00:21:54   think sometimes that the people who are [TS]

00:21:55   going to say let the little that [TS]

00:21:58   any parts resemble a sandwich oh you [TS]

00:22:00   have sensed a 9-volt battery because [TS]

00:22:03   it's like full-blood never heard that [TS]

00:22:05   comparison [TS]

00:22:06   no I guess not there's something to say [TS]

00:22:08   lady and her down to the basement tastes [TS]

00:22:10   like a 9-volt battery and some people [TS]

00:22:11   say oh I see what you're saying you know [TS]

00:22:13   yeah i was turning 30 more just kind of [TS]

00:22:15   look like a clown roast sandwich on its [TS]

00:22:17   side you know is that too like a crispy [TS]

00:22:19   taco I used to think that no this is [TS]

00:22:21   terrible [TS]

00:22:22   yeah okay okay my only thought on this [TS]

00:22:24   is people make ok so then i used to get [TS]

00:22:27   this a lot of time you go to the grocery [TS]

00:22:28   store hungry and you get a sandwich and [TS]

00:22:31   they make a sandwich that is nothing [TS]

00:22:32   like any food that I ever had in my life [TS]

00:22:33   there's no intention of ever being eaten [TS]

00:22:35   like they would never make themselves [TS]

00:22:37   this fucking holocaust of a sandwich and [TS]

00:22:39   then run it right people for example you [TS]

00:22:42   think like okay the people who work at a [TS]

00:22:44   bank and have lots of money like they [TS]

00:22:47   could tell they probably never use our [TS]

00:22:49   own website because it's so unusable and [TS]

00:22:51   you never in a million years want to [TS]

00:22:52   even trust that organization i think a [TS]

00:22:54   lot of people who like make pornography [TS]

00:22:56   do not even masturbate [TS]

00:22:57   I think they have some kind of an [TS]

00:22:58   artistic vision that statistic is that's [TS]

00:23:01   probably what I should have said an [TS]

00:23:02   artistic vision because because i want [TS]

00:23:03   to fuck what why do I need foam coming [TS]

00:23:05   out now which is an african-american [TS]

00:23:06   lady occasionally could tell her [TS]

00:23:08   background like I said it was kind of [TS]

00:23:10   pixelated she seemed green and orange [TS]

00:23:11   but in a color TV they could it was a [TS]

00:23:15   color TV is it could have been it [TS]

00:23:17   could've been that she was a space [TS]

00:23:19   princess and green and orange was [TS]

00:23:21   actually her that was the makeup she was [TS]

00:23:22   choosing this is the problem today we've [TS]

00:23:25   got TV shows you a video-on-demand [TS]

00:23:26   there's so many ways you there's no way [TS]

00:23:28   you could have gone back to find out why [TS]

00:23:30   she had shaving cream coming out of her [TS]

00:23:32   I vagina [TS]

00:23:33   no although i did recently remember i [TS]

00:23:36   had a memory of the same era watching a [TS]

00:23:39   movie called the great Texas dynamite [TS]

00:23:42   chase the plot of which was that two [TS]

00:23:45   girls in halter tops and short shorts [TS]

00:23:48   Daisy Duke shorts hooked up with a with [TS]

00:23:53   it like a young cowboy and went on a [TS]

00:23:57   cross-country crime spree where they [TS]

00:24:01   were using dynamite to blow up banks or [TS]

00:24:04   something i don't remember but I saw it [TS]

00:24:06   when I was young and it was at a time [TS]

00:24:07   when I was a tremendous pyromaniac [TS]

00:24:10   and all I wanted in life was to have [TS]

00:24:13   dynamite [TS]

00:24:14   I thought if I had a box of dynamite [TS]

00:24:15   that all my problems would be solved i [TS]

00:24:18   would never be bullied certainly never [TS]

00:24:20   want for anything again right what can [TS]

00:24:22   you not get if you have a box of [TS]

00:24:24   dynamite [TS]

00:24:25   what's it's a little bit like today like [TS]

00:24:26   you feel with money you're like if i [TS]

00:24:28   have money you know what i mean i can [TS]

00:24:29   buy what I need and I wasn't worried [TS]

00:24:31   anymore and if you had yes felt like if [TS]

00:24:34   I had money I would buy dynamite like [TS]

00:24:37   dynamite was the thing at the top of the [TS]

00:24:40   like yes money right in order to get [TS]

00:24:42   dynamite [TS]

00:24:44   I could I could skip money and go and [TS]

00:24:46   just have dynamite and i would i would [TS]

00:24:48   already be this is the area where you [TS]

00:24:49   would pick up the the things that they [TS]

00:24:52   put on the railroad tracks to warn [TS]

00:24:53   people would have this called the show [TS]

00:24:55   the torpedoes is just around that era [TS]

00:24:57   same area I i had i had fireworks [TS]

00:24:59   catalogs you know I was expelled from I [TS]

00:25:02   was put on emergency suspension in ninth [TS]

00:25:04   grade who because i had uh I was [TS]

00:25:09   basically making pipe bombs then selling [TS]

00:25:13   them to other kids at this haha ah you [TS]

00:25:17   were like elementary school Tony Stark [TS]

00:25:18   you're like selling munitions and [TS]

00:25:20   materials to tell people yeah I'm [TS]

00:25:23   ordinances that was called ordinance [TS]

00:25:25   ordinance i was saying i had suggestions [TS]

00:25:27   like hey you know will be grateful if [TS]

00:25:28   you tried to flush down the toilet [TS]

00:25:29   lighted and then flush it down the [TS]

00:25:31   toilet [TS]

00:25:31   that would be hilarious you know I was [TS]

00:25:33   like Olivia pipe bomb sales fit so I had [TS]

00:25:35   these i was making pipe bombs and of [TS]

00:25:37   course I didn't know I'd that well first [TS]

00:25:40   of all there's no safe way to make pipe [TS]

00:25:42   bombs and I was practicing I knew enough [TS]

00:25:46   not to like trying to tamp down [TS]

00:25:48   gunpowder with a metal spoon but but [TS]

00:25:52   beyond that like I was not handling this [TS]

00:25:53   material in safeway this material in a [TS]

00:25:56   safe way and on top of that like I was I [TS]

00:26:01   was not even trying to be secretive [TS]

00:26:03   about it I was like get your pipe bar [TS]

00:26:05   line up you know in high school they're [TS]

00:26:08   all kinds of creeps and this is before [TS]

00:26:10   the before Columbine obviously there's a [TS]

00:26:14   lot more creativity then [TS]

00:26:16   yeah you could you could there were a [TS]

00:26:18   lot of the temple there's a template [TS]

00:26:19   there were a lot of reasons that a [TS]

00:26:21   ninth-grader might want a pipe bomb [TS]

00:26:22   other than like hurting his classmates [TS]

00:26:25   blowing up the school right you take a [TS]

00:26:27   pipe bomb lot of reasons you might want [TS]

00:26:29   and I starter a cat a bike [TS]

00:26:31   sure just like you know just throw it in [TS]

00:26:33   the woods and watch the trees fall so [TS]

00:26:36   yeah they put me on emergency suspension [TS]

00:26:38   I was suspended [TS]

00:26:39   I would you know there was a clause in [TS]

00:26:41   the in the Student Handbook that said [TS]

00:26:43   like you know your first suspension is [TS]

00:26:45   three days your second suspension is six [TS]

00:26:47   days and then you're expelled or [TS]

00:26:49   something but emergency suspension was a [TS]

00:26:53   thing where you were at your immediate [TS]

00:26:55   danger to yourself and others and you [TS]

00:26:57   could be put on in indefinite immediate [TS]

00:27:01   indefinite suspension like 17 warmer we [TS]

00:27:04   do [TS]

00:27:05   yeah yeah and I oh man i was in trouble [TS]

00:27:07   I had to meet with the police and [TS]

00:27:08   serious John [TS]

00:27:10   yeah and my mom was really she was a [TS]

00:27:13   good sport about it she made me sit at a [TS]

00:27:15   table in our kitchen for nine days with [TS]

00:27:23   my books open in front of me and she [TS]

00:27:25   would she would like come home from work [TS]

00:27:27   and give surprise inspections and she [TS]

00:27:31   wanted to see she wanted to see at the [TS]

00:27:34   end of the day that I had done homework [TS]

00:27:37   assignments she would should measure the [TS]

00:27:39   stack with a ruler you know what I mean [TS]

00:27:41   like I have to do homework assignments [TS]

00:27:42   co measure it with having the thing is [TS]

00:27:45   that's that's just pure and punishment [TS]

00:27:47   there's nothing wrong there's nothing to [TS]

00:27:48   reform you there [TS]

00:27:50   it's just that's pure punishments just [TS]

00:27:51   sit at this table I do not want you to [TS]

00:27:54   get up i dunno what I do not want to see [TS]

00:27:55   a comic-book haven't been read [TS]

00:27:58   I don't want you to have a glass of [TS]

00:28:00   water sit at this table he you [TS]

00:28:03   bomb-making angry and sleep [TS]

00:28:08   f in class earning a little nice great [TS]

00:28:12   piece of shit don't understand you're [TS]

00:28:14   obviously your it sounds like your [TS]

00:28:16   business had been uncovered were you [TS]

00:28:18   bringing them to school there were you [TS]

00:28:19   taking orders and delivering them off [TS]

00:28:21   site so here's the problem i had a [TS]

00:28:22   locker full of pop I'll see that's a [TS]

00:28:25   rookie mistake [TS]

00:28:26   yeah and my mom [TS]

00:28:27   I my favorite teacher and mentor and [TS]

00:28:31   ultimately he became the principal of [TS]

00:28:33   the school is beautiful [TS]

00:28:35   no this isn't cool things with full this [TS]

00:28:37   is Don shackelford Don shackelford was [TS]

00:28:42   the one who like basically he caught [TS]

00:28:45   wind of me having these pipe bombs i'm [TS]

00:28:47   not gonna even mentioned it to him and [TS]

00:28:50   he ratted me out he ratted me out and he [TS]

00:28:52   stood there while they all the security [TS]

00:28:54   guards emptied my locker and let me from [TS]

00:28:57   the school he stood there calling me an [TS]

00:28:59   asshole like bombs in your locker you [TS]

00:29:03   brought bombs to school you asshole and [TS]

00:29:06   I I felt really betrayed who until you [TS]

00:29:09   know that is on your side [TS]

00:29:10   I did I was like done jack afraid you're [TS]

00:29:13   my guy he's like that with the knot with [TS]

00:29:15   not when it comes to bombs and then I [TS]

00:29:18   realized of course he was he he was [TS]

00:29:20   absolutely right when you realize that [TS]

00:29:22   like just now you don't blame [TS]

00:29:28   shackelford anymore i'm still a little [TS]

00:29:30   mad it's still it's a little bit of a [TS]

00:29:31   betrayal but I I feel like he probably [TS]

00:29:34   did the right thing is probably health [TS]

00:29:35   and safety issues like a let me kids [TS]

00:29:37   have to some kids have allergies to like [TS]

00:29:38   like milk and shrimp maybe there was you [TS]

00:29:40   know just concerned no I'm saying I [TS]

00:29:42   think he wasn't worried that I was so [TS]

00:29:45   dangerous as much as I was like selling [TS]

00:29:47   these things so my mom would say that my [TS]

00:29:49   mom would say about the reason that you [TS]

00:29:50   can't leave the house is that it's not [TS]

00:29:52   you know it's not you that I'm worried [TS]

00:29:54   about is the rapist in the woods and I'm [TS]

00:29:55   worried about or whatever or driving [TS]

00:29:57   that my words not hers but she said you [TS]

00:29:59   know try i'm not worried about you [TS]

00:30:00   driving i'm worried about the other [TS]

00:30:01   people which i think i think she meant [TS]

00:30:04   and believed and I often think that same [TS]

00:30:05   thing that's how i feel about these [TS]

00:30:07   fucking people on the bikes with the [TS]

00:30:08   stop signs you know what I mean it's [TS]

00:30:10   like that you know they're they're [TS]

00:30:11   causing tremendous chaos for people i [TS]

00:30:13   don't know why they do it and I keep [TS]

00:30:15   thinking you know this is my theory on [TS]

00:30:16   this where I'm coming to with this is [TS]

00:30:18   talking about bicycles who are riding in [TS]

00:30:19   the street like cars but when they come [TS]

00:30:21   to stop signs then suddenly they turn [TS]

00:30:24   into magic bikes that don't have to obey [TS]

00:30:27   laws [TS]

00:30:28   oh absolutely well there are some there [TS]

00:30:30   are some people will say you know it's [TS]

00:30:32   it's a thing i'm sure you've seen it [TS]

00:30:33   there I'm no you see important but you [TS]

00:30:35   know it's thing to just bust through [TS]

00:30:37   stop signs when you're on a bike because [TS]

00:30:38   I guess this is the special thing you [TS]

00:30:39   get to do so [TS]

00:30:40   there are some people like skateboarders [TS]

00:30:42   who are really good at it and days they [TS]

00:30:45   know to at least like turn their head [TS]

00:30:47   slightly to the left and the right to [TS]

00:30:49   see if they're about to hit anything but [TS]

00:30:51   there are you something on the car hit [TS]

00:30:53   you when you're on a skateboard you [TS]

00:30:54   really notice it i would say next to [TS]

00:30:57   maybe like a raccoon or a taco bell [TS]

00:31:00   rapper you're gonna lose to almost [TS]

00:31:02   everything went on a bike know your yeah [TS]

00:31:04   right you're definitely gonna lose to a [TS]

00:31:06   raccoon to you know what you're right [TS]

00:31:08   they got those claws and they're very [TS]

00:31:09   very so you know what i should start [TS]

00:31:11   over [TS]

00:31:11   this is so so anyway I'm sure I'm going [TS]

00:31:13   with this might move up my thought is [TS]

00:31:14   here's the problem i call this the 2's [TS]

00:31:16   whole theory and there's one asshole [TS]

00:31:18   will probably be fine right [TS]

00:31:20   if one person blows through a stop sign [TS]

00:31:21   like a fucking sociopath endangering my [TS]

00:31:24   in my child's life [TS]

00:31:25   not that I'm angry a bike that's a [TS]

00:31:27   problem because i'm looking for them [TS]

00:31:29   right right questions like these folks [TS]

00:31:30   are super entitled about this and then [TS]

00:31:32   go you know what to do with corn but [TS]

00:31:34   yeah well but i like I got a car and I [TS]

00:31:36   can't see you and you know and I'm [TS]

00:31:39   looking around for the other assholes [TS]

00:31:40   and then you fucking blow through a stop [TS]

00:31:41   sign [TS]

00:31:42   now my thing is or you know cars [TS]

00:31:44   obviously car through this to anybody he [TS]

00:31:45   blows through stop signs and stop lights [TS]

00:31:47   it's like people who don't stop for [TS]

00:31:48   ambulances like they should just be put [TS]

00:31:50   somewhere you always pull over for if [TS]

00:31:52   you like a gentleman you fucking pull [TS]

00:31:53   your car over and you sit there you [TS]

00:31:55   don't get mad you started fucking [TS]

00:31:57   national anthem and you wait until [TS]

00:31:58   somebody goes and gets the goddamn life [TS]

00:31:59   saved [TS]

00:32:00   yeah it's a gentleman it's a gentleman [TS]

00:32:03   issue here's the thing what if to it and [TS]

00:32:04   here's my thing this is actually i have [TS]

00:32:05   seen literally I setting aside shaving [TS]

00:32:07   cream coming out of a lady on TV I would [TS]

00:32:09   have seen my biggest fantasy is for like [TS]

00:32:11   four bicycles to do that at the same [TS]

00:32:13   intersection at the same time to make [TS]

00:32:15   some kind of like you still have myself [TS]

00:32:17   you know it's all going to be like [TS]

00:32:19   ironic mustaches and fixes everywhere [TS]

00:32:21   messenger bags flying through the air [TS]

00:32:24   think they have history ambulances maybe [TS]

00:32:26   now you can they come out thinking in [TS]

00:32:29   Brooklyn they have those acidic [TS]

00:32:31   ambulances now that little house at work [TS]

00:32:34   but they're less expensive or how does [TS]

00:32:36   that work [TS]

00:32:37   no not at all the the so the the Hasidic [TS]

00:32:40   Jewish community and in New York Hendrix [TS]

00:32:42   very tight very tight very close [TS]

00:32:43   community day and they have their own [TS]

00:32:44   ambulance service and their own like [TS]

00:32:46   special Hasidic police who [TS]

00:32:50   so if you have a crime committed against [TS]

00:32:53   you [TS]

00:32:54   you don't call the regular cops in here [TS]

00:32:56   is so making this is such a Saturday [TS]

00:32:58   Night Live sketch absolutely not google [TS]

00:33:00   it or or or opinions or whatever I'm [TS]

00:33:03   doing it yesterday with instead of us [TS]

00:33:05   instead of sirens it just goes boom [TS]

00:33:07   no yeah what are you gonna do what are [TS]

00:33:11   you gonna do [TS]

00:33:12   yeah 3 also seriously and so but it's a [TS]

00:33:15   standard emt style set up a general they [TS]

00:33:18   were in the garb are the EMTs wearing [TS]

00:33:19   the garb absolutely except on the sides [TS]

00:33:22   of the ambulances instead of ambulance [TS]

00:33:25   it says ambulance in Hebrew I'll see [TS]

00:33:28   that so that's not smart [TS]

00:33:30   well i guess my question has always been [TS]

00:33:32   if one of those is driving down the [TS]

00:33:34   street not on its way to somewhere there [TS]

00:33:37   just like coming back or something and [TS]

00:33:40   they see me have a heart attack and [TS]

00:33:42   they're just driving by eating a [TS]

00:33:44   pastrami sandwich or whatever are they [TS]

00:33:45   going to pull over or do I have to tell [TS]

00:33:48   you what your money will be in a car [TS]

00:33:50   when this happens [TS]

00:33:51   no let's say I'm walking down the street [TS]

00:33:52   in Vienna and they're stopped at a [TS]

00:33:54   stoplight and i'm walking right in front [TS]

00:33:55   of them and I go all [TS]

00:33:56   yeah and i have a heart attack you get [TS]

00:33:58   hit by hits turnpike let's say I'm [TS]

00:34:01   walking across the street in brooklyn [TS]

00:34:02   and it's a four-way stop and for [TS]

00:34:04   hipsters collide and I get hit with a [TS]

00:34:07   crank from one of their demolished [TS]

00:34:09   bicycles is the Jewish ambulance going [TS]

00:34:12   to help me or like do they have a sworn [TS]

00:34:15   to the Hippocratic oath or have the I [TS]

00:34:18   know that that's what do you think [TS]

00:34:20   that's that's great that's totally [TS]

00:34:21   different thing that's a new testament [TS]

00:34:22   here's the thing here's what you need to [TS]

00:34:24   understand is that there is there is a [TS]

00:34:26   law about all of this [TS]

00:34:27   somewhere in a book ok good Samaritan [TS]

00:34:29   Law that's again the New Testament but [TS]

00:34:32   but here's the thing is like first of [TS]

00:34:34   all maybe they would want to be sure [TS]

00:34:35   that you're not had that you don't have [TS]

00:34:37   dairy you know and meet online at the [TS]

00:34:39   same time that's one thing i think i [TS]

00:34:41   think they would only use a separate set [TS]

00:34:42   of plates into separate have a separate [TS]

00:34:44   amulets if they have one ambulance for [TS]

00:34:46   me and the other for dairy I think up [TS]

00:34:48   right and have a separate structures for [TS]

00:34:50   if I get hit if I get hit with a crank [TS]

00:34:53   from adam from a demolished hipster [TS]

00:34:54   bicycle and my dairy is separated from [TS]

00:34:58   my meat [TS]

00:34:59   haha you should be you should be on the [TS]

00:35:03   visions I think their dairy in your meat [TS]

00:35:06   I don't think I want to be safe okay [TS]

00:35:08   quick concept to see dick acetic porn [TS]

00:35:12   nevermind I'm just saying I'm just [TS]

00:35:14   saying that Darien meet you know there [TS]

00:35:16   is I think porn there's a whole subset [TS]

00:35:19   of porn now about a like quote-unquote [TS]

00:35:22   Arab women wearing how big a job I've [TS]

00:35:26   seen that [TS]

00:35:27   yeah actually also seen any ladies with [TS]

00:35:29   the dots oh yeah well that's sexy you [TS]

00:35:32   like the dot [TS]

00:35:33   what's that and i've got i have got kind [TS]

00:35:35   of thing I don't know I you know you're [TS]

00:35:37   taken which means I didn't sleep ledge [TS]

00:35:40   what it's like it when the Amish paint [TS]

00:35:42   the door red it means that you know they [TS]

00:35:45   have a they have a marriage able [TS]

00:35:47   daughter what I thought they weren't [TS]

00:35:50   allowed to use red [TS]

00:35:52   well there's a whole there's a whole [TS]

00:35:53   code of what color door what color your [TS]

00:35:55   front door is in amish culture that [TS]

00:35:58   indicates to passersby whether you have [TS]

00:36:01   where your daughters are portable your [TS]

00:36:07   entire means of ingress and egress is [TS]

00:36:09   based on on who-who should marry your [TS]

00:36:11   daughter and what you think our value [TS]

00:36:12   proposition is you get a door you change [TS]

00:36:14   your door [TS]

00:36:15   based on her status I think that's true [TS]

00:36:16   i think you maybe it's a blue door [TS]

00:36:18   something like that that must be a big [TS]

00:36:20   day the your daughter gets to be 14 15 [TS]

00:36:23   you know maybe by a button not paint the [TS]

00:36:25   door he wore you know you go you go to [TS]

00:36:27   how much home depot and get a get a new [TS]

00:36:30   door i think i think you keep the old [TS]

00:36:33   door but you painted ok but as far as [TS]

00:36:36   like sherwin-williams paint [TS]

00:36:37   yeah that's right they cover the world [TS]

00:36:39   knowing that i'm sure they make their [TS]

00:36:40   own pain out of pigments that they grow [TS]

00:36:42   themselves you don't think that's [TS]

00:36:43   practical at all [TS]

00:36:45   ah I thought that was that there was a [TS]

00:36:48   conceited the English the color [TS]

00:36:51   yeah i think a lot of coloring buttons [TS]

00:36:53   well they can play they were blue and [TS]

00:36:54   and lavender never talk about the time I [TS]

00:36:57   was on a train up in northern North [TS]

00:37:01   Dakota and every time the train stopped [TS]

00:37:04   at this was an Amtrak train on a freight [TS]

00:37:06   train every time the train stopped all [TS]

00:37:08   these Mennonites would get on and they [TS]

00:37:11   were all wearing like a laugh [TS]

00:37:12   under and peach not peach what am I [TS]

00:37:15   trying to say lavender and like the [TS]

00:37:17   shades of kind of green and blue that [TS]

00:37:19   were like we're still like easy easter a [TS]

00:37:22   kind of patients [TS]

00:37:23   yeah yeah and they get they all get on [TS]

00:37:26   the train in one little tiny North [TS]

00:37:28   Dakota town and they would write it 2 [TS]

00:37:30   stops to some other little tiny North [TS]

00:37:33   Dakota and they all get off the train [TS]

00:37:34   and some different Mennonites would get [TS]

00:37:36   on and and I realized that Amtrak is [TS]

00:37:39   running this like men and I taxi service [TS]

00:37:42   across the Northern Plains that's the [TS]

00:37:47   only way they get between these that [TS]

00:37:48   there are different villages and i'm [TS]

00:37:50   sure they're putting their marital [TS]

00:37:51   daughters on these trends and sending [TS]

00:37:52   them to villages up to figure out like a [TS]

00:37:54   hanky code which I figure with the [TS]

00:37:56   college meant no but it's the same i [TS]

00:37:58   think it is a hanky code here and I [TS]

00:38:00   think that's what to do that lavender [TS]

00:38:01   probably means something to you wear [TS]

00:38:02   like the standard garb [TS]

00:38:03   it's just that it's in what would [TS]

00:38:05   normally in like Pennsylvania might be [TS]

00:38:07   considered kind of a garish yeah that's [TS]

00:38:09   it but it says like karma taker i'm a [TS]

00:38:11   giver or whatever right there that's not [TS]

00:38:14   for stuff like you're into they've got a [TS]

00:38:15   whole hanky code is very complicated i [TS]

00:38:17   read about it once it was I had to put [TS]

00:38:18   it away it was just too much i want to [TS]

00:38:20   be peed on I want to know if you put in [TS]

00:38:22   the wrong pocket that gets everything [TS]

00:38:23   wrong because then you you you you send [TS]

00:38:26   the wrong message [TS]

00:38:27   you see what you're really saying is you [TS]

00:38:28   might be saying that you want to be you [TS]

00:38:30   want to be the right or not the lady [TS]

00:38:32   horse if you put that in the right and [TS]

00:38:33   the wrong pocket you end up there you [TS]

00:38:35   know there actually was a while in the [TS]

00:38:37   nineties when I would walk around [TS]

00:38:38   Capitol Hill Seattle's game neighborhood [TS]

00:38:40   with a with an assortment of hankies in [TS]

00:38:45   my back pocket just to scramble the [TS]

00:38:48   airwaves with off all put a green hanky [TS]

00:38:52   in my back right pocket not knowing what [TS]

00:38:54   i meant he didn't research at all not [TS]

00:38:57   knowing what it symbolized just knowing [TS]

00:38:59   that it meant something and then I would [TS]

00:39:00   walk down i had walk around Capitol Hill [TS]

00:39:02   it means your mucus sending this [TS]

00:39:05   presenting this message and you know i [TS]

00:39:07   don't i was just I was just it was just [TS]

00:39:09   party like culture jamming yeah yeah why [TS]

00:39:13   you must digital people ever talk to you [TS]

00:39:15   about it because I think when you do the [TS]

00:39:16   hankie thing there's a couple messages [TS]

00:39:18   for the second message is that you know [TS]

00:39:20   I like blood pit play or poop or lady [TS]

00:39:22   horses but i think the first messages [TS]

00:39:25   it's okay for you to come [TS]

00:39:26   talk to me about this right it's like [TS]

00:39:28   you know it's like San Francisco's [TS]

00:39:29   people walking around with two large [TS]

00:39:30   dogs and they're all mad when you asked [TS]

00:39:32   about him right now we're talking [TS]

00:39:34   ridiculous i have two huge Afghans but [TS]

00:39:35   please don't stop and talk to me about [TS]

00:39:37   it that's right well but the thing is [TS]

00:39:39   that means i have five cormorant there's [TS]

00:39:43   a line around Capitol Hill with a [TS]

00:39:45   handkerchief in my back pocket is I [TS]

00:39:46   didn't never stop and slow down but [TS]

00:39:49   don't you think people have questions so [TS]

00:39:51   i think they wanted to buy your heart [TS]

00:39:52   and I was I was like I was like a I was [TS]

00:39:55   like a blue Angel just coming right down [TS]

00:39:58   over the over the surface of the lake [TS]

00:40:01   and just straight strafing the case just [TS]

00:40:05   straight for them and they'd be like [TS]

00:40:06   what he did you see him he's into these [TS]

00:40:09   interview because he wants to be with [TS]

00:40:10   you fancy lady horse but I think about [TS]

00:40:13   two blocks away even just completely [TS]

00:40:15   like immune people completely ignorant [TS]

00:40:19   of what I had just done you're stirring [TS]

00:40:22   a pot my friend mom please do i I i had [TS]

00:40:26   i think we had weird cable by the time i [TS]

00:40:28   had cable i think i was getting very [TS]

00:40:30   mature as an industry but my friend had [TS]

00:40:32   the cable we get the scrambling minutes [TS]

00:40:34   it's really weird because there's also [TS]

00:40:36   weird i don't know this is a gay thing [TS]

00:40:38   I've never thought of it this way but [TS]

00:40:39   there is kind of thing about watching [TS]

00:40:41   porn with your friends [TS]

00:40:42   the in retrospect is kind of weird that [TS]

00:40:45   seems to me that that should be a that [TS]

00:40:48   should be you should do that in your [TS]

00:40:49   Garret well the thing about teenage boys [TS]

00:40:52   and gayness is that i think i think that [TS]

00:40:58   the culture i wish the culture when we [TS]

00:41:00   were teens was more accepting of a [TS]

00:41:04   little bit more gayness than it was [TS]

00:41:06   extended then it allowed for like it [TS]

00:41:09   like that like penis game is sore or one [TS]

00:41:12   like what kind of gayness [TS]

00:41:13   well I don't know I feel like when I was [TS]

00:41:16   about 13 14 [TS]

00:41:19   I there was there was a window of [TS]

00:41:23   gayness that i wish i had i wish i had [TS]

00:41:27   gone i wish i had sat on the the ledge [TS]

00:41:30   of the sill case of gay i wish i had sat [TS]

00:41:32   on the sill of gay a little bit with my [TS]

00:41:34   feet dangling out [TS]

00:41:36   little bit longer than I did and I was [TS]

00:41:38   it was absolutely because like now you [TS]

00:41:42   know I get the feeling that that if you [TS]

00:41:44   were a teenager and you are sitting [TS]

00:41:46   around with your friends watching porn [TS]

00:41:48   and somebody says something kind of gay [TS]

00:41:53   that you might be a little bit more [TS]

00:41:55   accepting of it in in the in the in the [TS]

00:41:58   in the full flush of that moment and at [TS]

00:42:01   the time when I was a teenager you [TS]

00:42:04   should you have had to maintain a [TS]

00:42:06   rigourous rigorous separation you got to [TS]

00:42:09   say disparaging things about the people [TS]

00:42:11   yeah oh this is gross that why are we [TS]

00:42:13   even watching this yeah or that you'll [TS]

00:42:15   see that's what i would do but I think [TS]

00:42:16   also you could talk about you know you [TS]

00:42:19   could remark about how you like that [TS]

00:42:22   ladies bosom or you could remark about [TS]

00:42:24   how that person is not as attractive as [TS]

00:42:26   you would like you get you could remark [TS]

00:42:28   that that's not the kind of tool belt [TS]

00:42:31   that cable guy would actually wear em [TS]

00:42:33   you can point out you know I don't know [TS]

00:42:35   if I knew that much about tool belts but [TS]

00:42:37   I was always changing the subject [TS]

00:42:38   moments like that always changing the [TS]

00:42:40   subject but i look back i look back at [TS]

00:42:42   that time I think I can think of a [TS]

00:42:43   couple of a couple of specific episodes [TS]

00:42:46   where there was where I was a [TS]

00:42:48   thirteen-year-old and there was another [TS]

00:42:50   13 year old and he he said something [TS]

00:42:55   like what [TS]

00:42:56   after school we would be like playing [TS]

00:42:59   stickball or whatever it is the kids do [TS]

00:43:02   I don't remember being a kid but but we [TS]

00:43:05   are but he would he would insult me in [TS]

00:43:08   such a way that we would start wrestling [TS]

00:43:10   i would grab him and then we'd be [TS]

00:43:12   wrestling and you're 13 it's like what [TS]

00:43:15   are you wrestling about you're not [TS]

00:43:16   really wrestling [TS]

00:43:17   oh I think I know what you mean yeah he [TS]

00:43:19   was taunting me but he was taunting me [TS]

00:43:22   because he wanted to wrestle [TS]

00:43:24   mhm and then I was like I'll get you and [TS]

00:43:26   then we're wrestling and it's kind of [TS]

00:43:28   like work we're all tangled up with each [TS]

00:43:32   other in a kind of wrestle e-ring and [TS]

00:43:37   and you want to say and I look back at [TS]

00:43:39   those I'm like oh we were being we were [TS]

00:43:43   we were experimenting we were being gay [TS]

00:43:45   with each other [TS]

00:43:46   and if we had just had a lift we had a [TS]

00:43:49   little bit more freedom in those moments [TS]

00:43:50   we would have been able to just be like [TS]

00:43:53   just full-on gay about it is it seems [TS]

00:43:57   like a fall somewhere between ballroom [TS]

00:43:59   dancing and spitballs and obviously [TS]

00:44:01   dancing is an opportunity to be very [TS]

00:44:03   very close to a woman in a way that [TS]

00:44:05   would hopefully not be very threatening [TS]

00:44:06   to her usual you know you both get to [TS]

00:44:08   have this public thing if you think [TS]

00:44:10   about dancing is pretty crazy i close [TS]

00:44:11   the tray put your arm around her [TS]

00:44:13   oh my gosh I remember I remember just [TS]

00:44:15   finding it so disorienting but like [TS]

00:44:16   think about dancing like it's pretty [TS]

00:44:17   intimate to dance clothes dance with [TS]

00:44:19   somebody putting a spit balls in your [TS]

00:44:21   little bit younger [TS]

00:44:22   you wanna get a girl's attention you [TS]

00:44:23   throw things out and that becomes [TS]

00:44:26   acceptable kind of form of intercourse [TS]

00:44:28   it's the throw things at a lady or a [TS]

00:44:30   different pigtails in your inkwell [TS]

00:44:32   precisely and then you get you get hit [TS]

00:44:34   with the ruler where the Hickory stick [TS]

00:44:36   yeah with the hickory smoked the Hickory [TS]

00:44:37   stick that's pretty that's probably you [TS]

00:44:39   know there's probably a handkerchief for [TS]

00:44:40   that is by hickory handkerchief [TS]

00:44:41   okay i think i think that at my fear at [TS]

00:44:46   the time was that if you went too far if [TS]

00:44:52   you went too far like with your your if [TS]

00:44:55   wrestling turned to frottage and you [TS]

00:45:00   went too far and UX and you exhibited [TS]

00:45:02   like actual sexual interest in another [TS]

00:45:05   boy even though that's clearly what he [TS]

00:45:07   was doing even that's that's clearly [TS]

00:45:09   what you were both doing but if you went [TS]

00:45:11   too far [TS]

00:45:11   you could never go back you would have [TS]

00:45:14   it in your mind that you had done that [TS]

00:45:16   you were a perv or the you were gay [TS]

00:45:18   right uue it would flip a switch and [TS]

00:45:22   once you have done it you could not you [TS]

00:45:24   could never take it back right this was [TS]

00:45:27   the proper this was the idea that i [TS]

00:45:28   think the only a homosexual rubicon yeah [TS]

00:45:31   right exactly all the all the boys carry [TS]

00:45:32   this in their head that there that the [TS]

00:45:34   the if you cross this line then you're [TS]

00:45:37   in trouble and now as a as a fully grown [TS]

00:45:40   person I realized oh no you can cross [TS]

00:45:41   that line freely it is not a Rubicon it [TS]

00:45:44   is not even really a guarded border it's [TS]

00:45:46   just a it's just a path lot of freshers [TS]

00:45:49   edge a lot of pressure there is there is [TS]

00:45:51   will even now I mean even now there's a [TS]

00:45:53   lot of pressure on guys to not be game I [TS]

00:45:55   even with this term down low [TS]

00:45:57   oh absolutely it's that's how African [TS]

00:46:00   America [TS]

00:46:00   and get to suck each other's cocks it [TS]

00:46:03   really true is it really a thing or is [TS]

00:46:04   it like an urban myth [TS]

00:46:05   no it's absolutely so i I don't I mean I [TS]

00:46:07   heard about this a while back and I [TS]

00:46:09   don't know but supposedly it's a you [TS]

00:46:10   tell me we tell me that hurts phenomenon [TS]

00:46:13   where it's believed that amongst some [TS]

00:46:17   man I AG led to believe african-american [TS]

00:46:19   men that like if you're getting your [TS]

00:46:20   dick sucked you're not gay right [TS]

00:46:22   absolutely second fact in fact that's [TS]

00:46:24   the source of my mind of a man by [TS]

00:46:26   another man right it's the source of one [TS]

00:46:27   of the long winters is favorite means [TS]

00:46:30   from the early days which was [TS]

00:46:32   look I'm not gay I just can't keep these [TS]

00:46:35   faggots from sucking my cock that were [TS]

00:46:40   there was a there was there was a I'm [TS]

00:46:42   sorry [TS]

00:46:43   you know you got quote comedy things but [TS]

00:46:45   there is a headline in the onion that [TS]

00:46:47   long time ago that I every time I think [TS]

00:46:49   of it I still with which its why do all [TS]

00:46:53   of these helmets sexuals keep sucking my [TS]

00:46:55   cock i think it's i think it's all [TS]

00:46:58   probably like a bill hicks routine reels [TS]

00:47:01   all these fucking faggots a tiny in [TS]

00:47:03   bathrooms constantly want to suck my [TS]

00:47:05   cock it seems like i can't go more than [TS]

00:47:07   a couple hours standing in a bathroom [TS]

00:47:09   for two hours until some fat comes up [TS]

00:47:11   and wants to suck my cock and I I hate [TS]

00:47:13   these guys [TS]

00:47:14   yeah well I think it's actually that [TS]

00:47:15   that kind of down low [TS]

00:47:17   that phrase is very much in the American [TS]

00:47:20   black culture but i think it's i think [TS]

00:47:22   that attitude provides in in Arab [TS]

00:47:26   cultures like men are able to be [TS]

00:47:29   physically affectionate with each other [TS]

00:47:31   up all the way up to and including sex [TS]

00:47:35   with each other and it's much more it's [TS]

00:47:37   much it's thought of as a kind of [TS]

00:47:39   fraternal bond and much less of an of an [TS]

00:47:43   aberration you know and that's pal they [TS]

00:47:47   keep the peace in the streets but wonder [TS]

00:47:50   how many african-american men that are [TS]

00:47:52   comfortable another man not gay suck [TS]

00:47:55   your cock would be comfortable like [TS]

00:47:56   sitting around naked in a hot tub it's [TS]

00:47:59   not nearly as intimate but it's much [TS]

00:48:01   more gay seeming probably in that [TS]

00:48:03   culture you know I don't know you know [TS]

00:48:05   there are also a lot of I mean I I think [TS]

00:48:07   downloads of is a as i looked it up on [TS]

00:48:10   wikipedia it's necessarily a documented [TS]

00:48:12   ok part of the competition [TS]

00:48:14   down low is an african american slang [TS]

00:48:15   term for first-rate subculture men who [TS]

00:48:17   usually identifies heterosexual but who [TS]

00:48:18   have sex with men [TS]

00:48:19   that's the short description they often [TS]

00:48:21   avoid sharing this information with [TS]

00:48:22   female sexual partner so it seems like a [TS]

00:48:24   terrible idea [TS]

00:48:25   yeah I understand why you wouldn't want [TS]

00:48:27   to share that but yeah I mean it seems [TS]

00:48:28   like a good idea at the time but you [TS]

00:48:31   know there's also the the the sort of [TS]

00:48:33   the understanding about an [TS]

00:48:36   african-american culture that that kinda [TS]

00:48:38   lingus is kind of not in front and also [TS]

00:48:41   the blacks can't swim [TS]

00:48:43   haha really scared of water because i [TS]

00:48:49   did that did that does go ping pong get [TS]

00:48:51   me what silver finger fucking you know [TS]

00:48:53   You Know Who I people were talking like [TS]

00:48:55   this [TS]

00:48:58   what is the deal with swimming [TS]

00:49:06   I keep thinking about your angry angry [TS]

00:49:08   still have come from what is the do they [TS]

00:49:16   but me and talk about [TS]

00:49:17   compartmentalization it you know it's in [TS]

00:49:20   there you know after this goes straight [TS]

00:49:21   back to your point that I guess that [TS]

00:49:22   there shouldn't be [TS]

00:49:23   just because you're having oral sex as a [TS]

00:49:26   recipient [TS]

00:49:27   I mean that Kenny I guess in the top [TS]

00:49:28   bottom thing that makes you look at a [TS]

00:49:30   tapas person right you're the receiver a [TS]

00:49:31   pleasure is that the idea you're the one [TS]

00:49:33   is running the show you know this is a [TS]

00:49:35   this you bring up a very interesting [TS]

00:49:38   question i have never fully understood [TS]

00:49:40   the blowjob politics of the of the gays [TS]

00:49:43   because there's definitely like giver [TS]

00:49:46   and Taker of the the buttsex it's not [TS]

00:49:50   it's not like doing dishes they don't [TS]

00:49:52   just need to alternate you know trying [TS]

00:49:54   to assume that that's true but but but [TS]

00:49:57   I'd see this is the thing I in [TS]

00:50:00   heterosexual sex for a thousand years at [TS]

00:50:04   least at least when I was a when I was a [TS]

00:50:05   kid the thousand years at least 24 the [TS]

00:50:09   thousand years that I've been on this [TS]

00:50:10   planet undying never aging like sex [TS]

00:50:16   seemed like it was yeah i was just sort [TS]

00:50:18   of like that happen the in the [TS]

00:50:20   handmaid's tale it happened through a [TS]

00:50:22   hole in a sheet and you never saw the [TS]

00:50:25   other person and you exchange [TS]

00:50:27   no kind words with them it was strictly [TS]

00:50:29   like a missionary position type of thing [TS]

00:50:31   but you introduce the you introduce an [TS]

00:50:34   awareness of dominance and Submission [TS]

00:50:37   into it right if you if you're unaware [TS]

00:50:40   of dominance and submission or at least [TS]

00:50:42   like if you are if you're not up front [TS]

00:50:45   about it you're having all this [TS]

00:50:47   dominance and Submission play but your [TS]

00:50:49   baby but you're not you're not it's not [TS]

00:50:52   over [TS]

00:50:53   right but as soon as everybody knows [TS]

00:50:54   that those are things that are in play [TS]

00:50:56   insects like are you dominant are you [TS]

00:50:59   dominating me right now my being [TS]

00:51:01   submitted my doing it for am i doing it [TS]

00:51:03   for fun or am i doing it because I'm [TS]

00:51:05   really submissive like to you and I have [TS]

00:51:08   only have sex where your dominant and [TS]

00:51:10   submissive over to the roles change can [TS]

00:51:12   we in warning about like legit strictly [TS]

00:51:15   kinky sex her and like and like normal [TS]

00:51:17   girls that's the thing like it used to [TS]

00:51:18   be kinky to even use the words dominant [TS]

00:51:22   and submissive what you're talking about [TS]

00:51:24   you're talking about like you young [TS]

00:51:25   couples having having gleeful sex in a [TS]

00:51:27   meadow or even normal even normal like [TS]

00:51:30   old Valerie the ls exactly see ok where [TS]

00:51:33   where it's like all right when i was 21 [TS]

00:51:35   i would never have used the word [TS]

00:51:37   dominant or submissive sounds a little [TS]

00:51:39   gay tell ok it sounds well or it sounds [TS]

00:51:42   just like yeah little bit aggressive at [TS]

00:51:43   least a little tweaky right but as you [TS]

00:51:47   get older and you realize like right in [TS]

00:51:49   every in in in every let's say you're [TS]

00:51:52   having sex with somebody for 45 minutes [TS]

00:51:54   I can currently 45 minutes from start to [TS]

00:51:59   finish it by 45 contiguous minutes it's [TS]

00:52:02   not over series of months [TS]

00:52:03   no okay 45 minutes but it that could [TS]

00:52:06   include drinks and dinner and apologies [TS]

00:52:09   and apologies afterwards in mic in my [TS]

00:52:12   case 45 minutes is just enough time [TS]

00:52:13   because i like to take the panties off [TS]

00:52:16   very slowly it starts the clock starts [TS]

00:52:21   running when i touch the panties panties [TS]

00:52:24   at the ankles 45 minutes later in any [TS]

00:52:29   case the idea of like okay in this [TS]

00:52:32   45-minute period we are you're going to [TS]

00:52:34   dominate you're going to be dominant for [TS]

00:52:36   a little bit i'm going to be dominant [TS]

00:52:37   we're going to flip back and forth [TS]

00:52:38   ultimately I'm going to be [TS]

00:52:40   more dominant mean these are ideas that [TS]

00:52:44   then I think you know you're doing [TS]

00:52:46   dominant in a sense of like you decide [TS]

00:52:47   what to do you do it rough like what is [TS]

00:52:49   what do you mean if you're outside of if [TS]

00:52:51   you're outside of like the community [TS]

00:52:53   you're talking about like normal people [TS]

00:52:55   because i'm just guessing a lot of [TS]

00:52:56   ladies probably don't get to push around [TS]

00:52:58   and say hey you know what take a walk [TS]

00:52:59   downstairs [TS]

00:53:00   I think they do you know I think that's [TS]

00:53:02   part of I think that's part of healthy [TS]

00:53:03   sex and it's and it at the most of the [TS]

00:53:07   most vanilla it's just a question of [TS]

00:53:09   like who's on top [TS]

00:53:10   yeah first base right and then you go [TS]

00:53:13   and then as you get more and more [TS]

00:53:14   serious about it it's like okay now I'm [TS]

00:53:16   noms I'm restraining you right now I'm [TS]

00:53:20   actually kind of holding you down now [TS]

00:53:23   I'm just kind of pretending to cut off [TS]

00:53:26   your air for a while anything a lot of [TS]

00:53:31   women do that demand just for fun just [TS]

00:53:33   to that event for no reason i'm going to [TS]

00:53:35   choke you a little until you take out [TS]

00:53:38   the trash [TS]

00:53:40   I you know I like to use to two [TS]

00:53:42   different shades of what you're talking [TS]

00:53:43   about there could be way more and i [TS]

00:53:44   really would really rather not talk [TS]

00:53:46   about any of this but but but there's [TS]

00:53:48   there's there's two on the one hand [TS]

00:53:49   which you can learn to is is a kind of [TS]

00:53:53   like you know a BDSM community kind of [TS]

00:53:55   thing where you're like that's right i [TS]

00:53:57   like to you know I like to dress like a [TS]

00:53:59   cowboy or whatever netflix ring like to [TS]

00:54:01   be a lady horse or lady horse but you [TS]

00:54:03   know but here's the thing there's a big [TS]

00:54:04   difference between like we're gonna have [TS]

00:54:07   a little play here and we both agreed [TS]

00:54:09   with the script is versus I just like [TS]

00:54:11   joking people are demanding or demanding [TS]

00:54:14   the people for late me or you know or [TS]

00:54:16   whatever there's a big difference a big [TS]

00:54:18   difference and maybe that's your point [TS]

00:54:19   but you know i think i think the point [TS]

00:54:22   is that the those are the people that [TS]

00:54:24   are like out there on the friendship [TS]

00:54:26   that has been that has been introduced [TS]

00:54:29   to mainstream American culture and maybe [TS]

00:54:31   it's because i live in the city and then [TS]

00:54:32   i'ma rock musician that I that you know [TS]

00:54:37   that that I could have the pinky up the [TS]

00:54:40   butt sometimes I where everything gets [TS]

00:54:45   the spotlight fats photos i wear [TS]

00:54:47   different colored handkerchiefs in my [TS]

00:54:49   back pocket unaware [TS]

00:54:50   what it means and then I'll follow [TS]

00:54:51   people based on the signals they give me [TS]

00:54:54   but it seems like dan Savage for [TS]

00:54:57   instance his column has introduced these [TS]

00:54:59   a lot of these words a lot of these [TS]

00:55:01   concepts into mainstream culture so that [TS]

00:55:03   you can no longer you can no longer say [TS]

00:55:07   with a straight face that you don't know [TS]

00:55:09   what a dirty sanchez is where 25 years [TS]

00:55:12   ago nobody knew in turkey sandwiches to [TS]

00:55:14   get dirty sanchez ever happened that was [TS]

00:55:16   all the time [TS]

00:55:18   I mean like actually happens or real [TS]

00:55:21   dirty sanchez 1y of the word happens all [TS]

00:55:23   the time but it seems that actually [TS]

00:55:24   happens to you think everything happens [TS]

00:55:27   and and part of it and this is this is [TS]

00:55:30   part of dealing with with the with kinky [TS]

00:55:33   culture i got from within kinky culture [TS]

00:55:36   to get food people feel like they are [TS]

00:55:40   like it's really a question of like [TS]

00:55:43   their needs and their rights and their [TS]

00:55:45   you know what i mean and from without [TS]

00:55:47   taking culture it's very easy and I do [TS]

00:55:49   it to to say like what happened to you [TS]

00:55:52   that you can enjoy normal sex [TS]

00:55:53   why do you have to get poop on your face [TS]

00:55:55   like and how the game buddy I don't [TS]

00:55:57   think that many people outside of [TS]

00:55:59   Germany actually enjoy that [TS]

00:56:01   well people enjoy the other problem and [TS]

00:56:04   I'd literally don't wanna talk about [TS]

00:56:06   this anymore but the but the problem is [TS]

00:56:08   that it being an asshole it's not the [TS]

00:56:10   same thing as being dominant in fact [TS]

00:56:12   it's kind of the opposite of that know [TS]

00:56:14   being an asshole is just being announced [TS]

00:56:15   just being an asshole and I think that [TS]

00:56:17   the problem is when you start [TS]

00:56:18   introducing this kind of terminology dan [TS]

00:56:20   Savage notwithstanding i think i think [TS]

00:56:21   you're basically telling a lot of people [TS]

00:56:23   that there's there's a fancy upscale [TS]

00:56:26   urban name for being a dick [TS]

00:56:28   Oh No being a dick is being a dick and [TS]

00:56:31   BM and like that's part of your bit [TS]

00:56:32   you've worked at a time dominance and [TS]

00:56:34   submission is a thing that people [TS]

00:56:36   well it's just natural okay you cannot [TS]

00:56:39   have to you cannot have wealth in [TS]

00:56:42   everything in life there is one there's [TS]

00:56:44   always every interaction there's an [TS]

00:56:46   unequal power thing you know and i think [TS]

00:56:50   part of the part of the problem with our [TS]

00:56:51   generation is that we were raised to [TS]

00:56:54   think that any exercise and any exercise [TS]

00:56:56   of power over another person is [TS]

00:56:59   undemocratic [TS]

00:57:00   and bad you know right and it's not [TS]

00:57:04   every station get out whether they're [TS]

00:57:06   being choked [TS]

00:57:07   exactly well it's not Yeah right right [TS]

00:57:10   do I mean that it is one thing to [TS]

00:57:13   consent it's another thing to it's [TS]

00:57:16   another thing to like reflexively [TS]

00:57:18   require consent for everything you do I [TS]

00:57:21   feel like we are about two paragraphs [TS]

00:57:22   away from just look at what she was [TS]

00:57:24   wearing [TS]

00:57:25   why do why do you have words like [TS]

00:57:28   material and ordinance that are [TS]

00:57:30   deliberately spelled wrong is that an [TS]

00:57:32   army thing just a fuck yes it's French [TS]

00:57:34   material is different from material [TS]

00:57:36   right because it is because it comes [TS]

00:57:39   from when the French were the great war [TS]

00:57:43   makers as I'm guessing that's a pretty [TS]

00:57:44   long time ago [TS]

00:57:46   uh well yeah they were great war makers [TS]

00:57:49   a long time but the technology right [TS]

00:57:51   that good they were good they like they [TS]

00:57:52   make trouble shades and stuff right [TS]

00:57:54   they did but also you know it in the [TS]

00:57:56   united kingdom because the French were [TS]

00:58:00   because after the Norman Conquest the [TS]

00:58:02   French the lower the royal family in [TS]

00:58:05   England spoke French for many years [TS]

00:58:08   after and there's a thing in English law [TS]

00:58:11   where they actually the lawyers and the [TS]

00:58:15   courts in England continue to speak [TS]

00:58:17   French all the way up like through the [TS]

00:58:21   18th century so there are all these [TS]

00:58:23   terms in English law that are that are [TS]

00:58:27   spoken French still because of this [TS]

00:58:29   because of well basically because the [TS]

00:58:32   norman conquest and and that's also true [TS]

00:58:36   in war-making and the terms of art and [TS]

00:58:39   politics and some for yourselves that i [TS]

00:58:42   never found the actual education for [TS]

00:58:43   this and you know what french means [TS]

00:58:44   insects course [TS]

00:58:46   oh uh surrendering did he get that means [TS]

00:58:52   i think that means to be office [TS]

00:58:54   um I'm not going to get you off of [TS]

00:58:56   anything John if we're gonna have listen [TS]

00:59:00   let me just explain one thing to do and [TS]

00:59:02   i will cut this out if I have to but I [TS]

00:59:03   want to find one thing if we are going [TS]

00:59:04   to be in business to get there if we are [TS]

00:59:06   going to cash out if we are going to if [TS]

00:59:09   we are going to have an exit event a [TS]

00:59:11   good lucky bucket [TS]

00:59:13   you gotta go with the hankie in my back [TS]

00:59:14   pocket symbolizes I don't think it would [TS]

00:59:17   be single thing in the world I want to [TS]

00:59:18   know less than the color of your hanky [TS]

00:59:20   is that book on your resume can resumes [TS]

00:59:21   if we're gonna do Jews bones of work to [TS]

00:59:24   do bukkake bucket [TS]

00:59:26   we're gonna have to work very closely [TS]

00:59:27   and I want to ask the fucking ground [TS]

00:59:28   rules i'm going to talk about sex i [TS]

00:59:31   don't want to talk about power [TS]

00:59:32   I don't want to wrestle I don't wanna [TS]

00:59:34   wrassle right okay you're a politician [TS]

00:59:37   you don't want to talk about politics i [TS]

00:59:40   will talk about Hitler or the Cold War [TS]

00:59:42   you're living in a stockade you're like [TS]

00:59:44   so you're like some some some army guide [TS]

00:59:47   and they're loud in my engine starting [TS]

00:59:49   right don't have to think about you [TS]

00:59:51   having an orgasm and that's a happy [TS]

00:59:53   fucking stockade up and now let me know [TS]

00:59:56   i have never had a girl you mean fake [TS]

00:59:56   i have never had a girl you mean fake [TS]

01:00:00   no no long ah god four kinds of kids [TS]

01:00:08   candy corn antenna incidental boners [TS]

01:00:11   that's going to be a good title dancing [TS]

01:00:12   spitballs well I i should have eaten but [TS]

01:00:18   you know we don't work together you got [TS]

01:00:19   out of the probably continue I i have [TS]

01:00:23   you ever heard of BB cafe like BB cafe [TS]

01:00:26   bbkf a bi bi cafe [TS]

01:00:29   no no just units this is something that [TS]

01:00:32   i don't know if i don't know if i should [TS]

01:00:34   even mention this to you because you're [TS]

01:00:35   going I'm going to guess not going to [TS]

01:00:38   change your life god it is coffee [TS]

01:00:42   it's Italian yeah it's coffee and fizzy [TS]

01:00:45   water together in a bottle [TS]

01:00:49   it's not like Christmas porn though like [TS]

01:00:51   while you fuck up to good things [TS]

01:00:52   no no you got it this stuff it's coffee [TS]

01:00:56   and fizzy water mineral water like [TS]

01:00:59   seltzer such sensor ok and it's [TS]

01:01:02   concentrated and you pour in a you pour [TS]

01:01:04   over ice then you add a little cream [TS]

01:01:07   sounds refreshing and it turns into this [TS]

01:01:10   fizzy coffee milkshake dental super [TS]

01:01:15   centaurum well-liked foamy girl judges [TS]

01:01:21   how God and it is incredible [TS]

01:01:25   there's no way something to me so I used [TS]

01:01:28   to drink baby café all the time and a [TS]

01:01:30   half for the legging it i can't remember [TS]

01:01:32   who introduced get to me this is years [TS]

01:01:34   and years ago but anyway they stopped [TS]

01:01:37   importing it to the United States [TS]

01:01:38   because it was too [TS]

01:01:40   it was like it was like I don't know why [TS]

01:01:42   it has to be because it's like heroin [TS]

01:01:45   but yeah anyway uh a close friend found [TS]

01:01:50   me a bottle of BB cafe the other day and [TS]

01:01:53   so instead of my regular coffee before [TS]

01:01:56   our podcast i have been drinking BB cafe [TS]

01:01:58   fiore sound down imbued today OB cafe [TS]

01:02:02   it's in a bottle look at that [TS]

01:02:05   sparkling espresso drink oh dear me this [TS]

01:02:08   looks awfully good baby calf is a [TS]

01:02:11   slightly effervescent premium Italian [TS]

01:02:13   espresso drink with hints of caramel and [TS]

01:02:16   vanilla [TS]

01:02:17   yes huh it is bonkers but you can't find [TS]

01:02:21   it anymore i used to buy it by the case [TS]

01:02:22   and now it's like it's this the [TS]

01:02:25   effervescence has actually turned into [TS]

01:02:28   like you can't even find it or see it [TS]

01:02:30   but anyway I got this one bottle of baby [TS]

01:02:32   calf and just it's a the end and the [TS]

01:02:35   espresso it gives you this kind of it [TS]

01:02:39   almost gives you synesthesia you can see [TS]

01:02:42   see colors when people play notes and [TS]

01:02:44   there's do you feel like off you're not [TS]

01:02:46   though not at all very controlled how [TS]

01:02:49   are clean [TS]

01:02:50   it's so clean yeah it's so clear it's so [TS]

01:02:53   top shelf has no no jitters baby café I [TS]

01:02:58   think that if what i can tell looking [TS]

01:02:59   quickly it looks like it might have been [TS]

01:03:01   discontinued as a brand I've done my [TS]

01:03:04   time on this but I told that after well [TS]

01:03:06   I have to do some more research on this [TS]

01:03:08   weekend a lot of long ago long hours [TS]

01:03:10   ahead of us if we're going to make this [TS]

01:03:11   business happen so we're gonna need [TS]

01:03:13   something to keep us on our game there's [TS]

01:03:14   anything that in America if there's any [TS]

01:03:16   place in America you should be able to [TS]

01:03:17   find BB cafe is San Francisco careful we [TS]

01:03:20   love we love we're drinks here do i get [TS]

01:03:22   for that Bronco with a single largest [TS]

01:03:24   consumer of fernet branca San Francisco [TS]

01:03:28   I in north america in north america [TS]

01:03:29   there's a will there's a way that I told [TS]

01:03:33   your buddy about that your noise pop [TS]

01:03:34   buddy [TS]

01:03:34   yeah you know they gave it away when [TS]

01:03:36   your noise pop and within a year [TS]

01:03:37   everybody was hooked and tastes like [TS]

01:03:39   shit that happened up here is fruit for [TS]

01:03:42   your seattle have this tavern wall where [TS]

01:03:44   you could have taverns or bars and [TS]

01:03:47   taverns you could sell beer and wine and [TS]

01:03:49   you could have windows in the place up [TS]

01:03:52   and you didn't have to sell food but if [TS]

01:03:54   you had a bar yet you couldn't have [TS]

01:03:56   windows and you had to sell food while [TS]

01:03:58   of laws like that [TS]

01:03:59   yeah it's just like what so so there [TS]

01:04:02   were all these taverns arm because that [TS]

01:04:05   was you know to have a bar was a was a [TS]

01:04:07   big operation but have a terrible you [TS]

01:04:09   just start selling beer and one and the [TS]

01:04:12   bar that are the tavern that I used to [TS]

01:04:14   drink out was called the comet tavern i [TS]

01:04:16   think i might even taking you there [TS]

01:04:17   so they sold they sold all different [TS]

01:04:20   kinds of beer and they only have that [TS]

01:04:22   they decided not to so much wine but [TS]

01:04:24   they started selling port port au port [TS]

01:04:28   and you you could get a you get a little [TS]

01:04:31   shut that's a kind of like fortified [TS]

01:04:33   strong line [TS]

01:04:34   yeah we get a shot a port to kind of [TS]

01:04:37   like help your beer buzz bloom and at a [TS]

01:04:42   certain point and and Porto is like a is [TS]

01:04:45   a is a European brand and it's and it's [TS]

01:04:48   you know it's thought of as it's maybe [TS]

01:04:50   not a high-class beverage but it's [TS]

01:04:52   certainly like a like a glass of port is [TS]

01:04:55   something that you it's something after [TS]

01:04:57   dinner with a cigar right exactly it's [TS]

01:04:59   something for discerning tastes well [TS]

01:05:01   anyway the the story is that that this [TS]

01:05:04   company in Portugal that makes porto [TS]

01:05:06   said there's this bar in America that is [TS]

01:05:11   selling more port more of our port than [TS]

01:05:15   anywhere else in the country and we have [TS]

01:05:17   to send a representative there to see [TS]

01:05:19   what this incredible bar is that wow you [TS]

01:05:23   know this amazing fern bar whatever they [TS]

01:05:25   must be sitting around smoking cigars [TS]

01:05:27   drinking our beverage we have to send [TS]

01:05:29   somebody there and and and thank them [TS]

01:05:31   and give them a plaque like thinking [TS]

01:05:33   it's gonna be real fancy yeah this guy [TS]

01:05:35   shows up and it's this fuckin why no bar [TS]

01:05:38   full of drugs rockers we're just [TS]

01:05:42   throwing back the Porto and that the guy [TS]

01:05:45   was horrified and ashamed and went [TS]

01:05:48   running out of there he came here from [TS]

01:05:50   Portugal [TS]

01:05:51   yeah to give them some kind of like [TS]

01:05:53   black money and he realized as soon as [TS]

01:05:58   he walked in that you know there's just [TS]

01:06:00   a scrim of vomit on the floor right it's [TS]

01:06:03   one of those bars where the ceiling is [TS]

01:06:05   covered with dollar bills if people have [TS]

01:06:08   written like what you come to honor [TS]

01:06:10   through that everybody's like back [TS]

01:06:15   it's got one if you have to give you the [TS]

01:06:17   all shits God nice [TS]

01:06:25   scram of vomit huh [TS]

01:06:28   the floor slick but they do give you a [TS]

01:06:30   free turkey dinner on thanksgiving but [TS]

01:06:34   really the comet tavern yeah they have a [TS]

01:06:37   big they have a big turkey is like [TS]

01:06:38   something Richard Hugo would write about [TS]

01:06:40   it's very Richard Hugo in fact it's [TS]

01:06:42   actually right around the corner from [TS]

01:06:44   the Richard Hugo house which is where [TS]

01:06:45   your band used to practice right next to [TS]

01:06:47   that right that's right now is a real [TS]

01:06:49   capacity look there is a capacitor and [TS]

01:06:51   I've seen video of it who comparison [TS]

01:06:53   tavern [TS]

01:06:53   yeah absolutely is that death of the [TS]

01:06:55   composite average one of my favorites [TS]

01:06:57   I know you anything uh hi I'm a fan I [TS]

01:07:00   got it I got it I got to get off of this [TS]

01:07:02   is this is I want to come back to the [TS]

01:07:03   four kinds of this is the John's has [TS]

01:07:05   been awful [TS]

01:07:05   this is really hard for me i know i know [TS]

01:07:07   what happens if I don't know we've [TS]

01:07:08   really really easy job [TS]

01:07:11   you made me tweak or square i think it's [TS]

01:07:13   quick [TS]

01:07:14   you slipped a little bit yeah yeah gonna [TS]

01:07:17   have to go take a cold shower and scrub [TS]

01:07:19   yourself with a loofah take it gets [TS]

01:07:21   really together with a hankie has hit [TS]

01:07:24   your head before I don't want to talk to [TS]

01:07:25   john about sex i don't know what's going [TS]

01:07:29   you know what's going on with me IRA [TS]

01:07:30   but you know Ben it's a spring I guess [TS]

01:07:33   spring your philippines now the the BB [TS]

01:07:36   cafe we gotta find out more about that's [TS]

01:07:37   like the first time someone gave me an [TS]

01:07:38   adderall was like wall the scales fall [TS]

01:07:40   from my eyes you know what I mean yeah i [TS]

01:07:42   know i've never had an adderall good for [TS]

01:07:44   you stay away from that candy corn [TS]

01:07:45   antenna incidental owners on shackleford [TS]

01:07:48   he was not shackled for doing nowadays [TS]

01:07:49   you know well interestingly i got in [TS]

01:07:52   touch with dark chocolate recently he's [TS]

01:07:53   living in Alaska ever since he retired [TS]

01:07:56   he got on the ear ring which here I [TS]

01:08:03   don't know that symbolizes something to [TS]

01:08:05   i'm not sure what you're always thi have [TS]

01:08:07   a guy and i got mine the latch getting [TS]

01:08:08   left here you know i'm one of those [TS]

01:08:10   people that never notices if someone's [TS]

01:08:12   wearing a wedding ring or what right [TS]

01:08:15   here there is pierced like all those [TS]

01:08:17   symbols that people are all the flags [TS]

01:08:19   that they're flying like [TS]

01:08:21   I'm into this you know for years the [TS]

01:08:25   guys would walk around with leather [TS]

01:08:26   jackets with those cock rings hanging [TS]

01:08:28   off of the airport and I have no idea [TS]

01:08:30   what it wasn't thought it was like a [TS]

01:08:31   plumbing supply did not know that it was [TS]

01:08:34   a cock ring and that that's what it's um [TS]

01:08:35   I don't know what a cock ring that's [TS]

01:08:37   been used in outerwear that doesn't seem [TS]

01:08:40   I genic little bit rough trade so how'd [TS]

01:08:42   you find out checking for get an earring [TS]

01:08:43   I oh so he came down to seattle i took [TS]

01:08:46   them around one night we want lovely we [TS]

01:08:49   went and hung out I mean he was a great [TS]

01:08:50   he was a great teacher he was a he was a [TS]

01:08:53   he's definitely my favorite teacher in [TS]

01:08:55   high school and he ended up he ended up [TS]

01:08:57   being a a good mentor he was the one [TS]

01:08:59   that he's the one that famously like [TS]

01:09:02   after he was the principal of the school [TS]

01:09:04   called me into his office right before [TS]

01:09:07   graduation and SAT me down and put a put [TS]

01:09:10   a stack of computer printout in front of [TS]

01:09:12   me and said this is the list of all the [TS]

01:09:15   graduating seniors in order of grade [TS]

01:09:17   point average i'd like you to find your [TS]

01:09:19   name [TS]

01:09:20   I'd like you to sit here in front of me [TS]

01:09:21   and find your name and i started the at [TS]

01:09:25   the top and I said I'm not first the [TS]

01:09:27   clip not a second he was like let me [TS]

01:09:30   help you out [TS]

01:09:31   flip to the two last page last in my [TS]

01:09:35   class but don was done was a good that [TS]

01:09:42   was probably there's probably did you [TS]

01:09:43   discuss the great Texas dynamite chase [TS]

01:09:45   where all the the dynamite incident [TS]

01:09:47   outside i'm sorry/not divisions movie [TS]

01:09:50   did you discuss the dynamite Locker [TS]

01:09:52   incident ya know what happens up that [TS]

01:09:54   always comes up he's he is very a [TS]

01:09:56   because I've now seen him a few times [TS]

01:09:58   and he's very unapologetic and he says [TS]

01:10:03   even straight up you were an asshole and [TS]

01:10:07   if i could bust you if I could have [TS]

01:10:09   busted you twice i would have busted [TS]

01:10:10   twice for bringing pipe bombs to school [TS]

01:10:13   and you come around that point of view [TS]

01:10:15   yes whoo yes i believe that i believe [TS]

01:10:18   that he that you know it isn't I have [TS]

01:10:22   said it before but it is a miracle that [TS]

01:10:24   i lived to adulthood for so many reasons [TS]

01:10:26   and there were not there were actually [TS]

01:10:29   surprisingly few people who stood [TS]

01:10:31   in between me and me blowing myself up [TS]

01:10:35   but but the few people that did you know [TS]

01:10:39   probably probably saved my ass and [TS]

01:10:42   Donald's one of them [TS]

01:10:44   um yeah you got it you got to be [TS]

01:10:46   grateful for this at the time they feel [TS]

01:10:47   like such a hindrance [TS]

01:10:48   yeah you know a lot of other times when [TS]

01:10:50   what saved my ass was just that I had [TS]

01:10:52   not inserted the fuse properly and and [TS]

01:10:57   the lighter i was using was something [TS]

01:10:59   that i found on the ground and it didn't [TS]

01:11:01   have any fluid interwebs is there [TS]

01:11:03   somebody wants to go back and get ever [TS]

01:11:04   knows there's a big part of me that if I [TS]

01:11:06   had it to do over I would have [TS]

01:11:08   definitely I would definitely blow [TS]

01:11:10   myself [TS]

01:11:14   all right there is [TS]

01:11:15   [Music] [TS]