Roderick on the Line

Ep. 31: "Our Orange Franklin"


00:00:00   hello hey John [TS]

00:00:06   hi Marilyn how's it going good [TS]

00:00:11   yeah that's early literally I don't have [TS]

00:00:15   enough coffee i just got a coffee but I [TS]

00:00:18   don't like it's like a coffee [TS]

00:00:20   yeah I have that problem a lot but I am [TS]

00:00:23   I can look I can overlook at in [TS]

00:00:27   situations like this work early [TS]

00:00:29   seems like in your line of work you [TS]

00:00:32   first of all I mean as as well again I [TS]

00:00:36   wouldn't cut this out if we have to but [TS]

00:00:37   a man of your stature who's learned to [TS]

00:00:39   harden himself to the world in so many [TS]

00:00:41   unnecessary ways it seems to me that in [TS]

00:00:43   your line of work you can't afford to [TS]

00:00:45   become a coffee snob right you're [TS]

00:00:47   surrounded by by a certain kind of [TS]

00:00:49   coffee snobbery and yet as a man you [TS]

00:00:52   don't know we're gonna wake up tomorrow [TS]

00:00:53   you might need to go on the run [TS]

00:00:54   you might need to go play a gig [TS]

00:00:55   somewhere you might be a holiday inn [TS]

00:00:57   express em right you need your coffee [TS]

00:01:00   right now right [TS]

00:01:01   you need your coffee but you can't sit [TS]

00:01:02   around and spend three hours i tried to [TS]

00:01:04   find an artisanal coffee place i might [TS]

00:01:06   be a holiday inn express where the [TS]

00:01:07   breakfast consists of a crescent [TS]

00:01:09   actually a little piece of the moon a [TS]

00:01:12   crescent and son some some jam and jelly [TS]

00:01:16   but that is all sort of in the marmalade [TS]

00:01:18   family no no raspberry jam just like [TS]

00:01:21   orange Jam can just be really honest 50 [TS]

00:01:24   john and i want to live on any fucking [TS]

00:01:26   continent where that's a breakfast i'm [TS]

00:01:28   afraid that the only place that that is [TS]

00:01:30   a breakfast is in the American middle [TS]

00:01:32   section really like if you go to Europe [TS]

00:01:35   you can europe with numerous times you [TS]

00:01:36   go and that's that is that the titular [TS]

00:01:38   continent of the breakfast is that is [TS]

00:01:39   that accurate [TS]

00:01:40   yes well be so the continental breakfast [TS]

00:01:43   that does have the patience or even the [TS]

00:01:45   word makes me angry and hungry [TS]

00:01:47   it does have these elements except it [TS]

00:01:50   has been perverted and pasteurized in [TS]

00:01:52   America in in Europe the continental [TS]

00:01:54   breakfast has fresh orange juice part of [TS]

00:01:57   delicious coffee a hard-boiled egg some [TS]

00:02:00   blood sausage maybe a piece of a like [TS]

00:02:04   calf brain sliced thin and then there is [TS]

00:02:10   a not a crescent roll but like [TS]

00:02:13   a call Saul or a hard brown nutty roll [TS]

00:02:18   some kind of German you know like [TS]

00:02:22   doorstop role does the store stop in the [TS]

00:02:25   store stopping and then several platters [TS]

00:02:29   of a of you know that kind of meat that [TS]

00:02:33   has olives and pistachios in it [TS]

00:02:37   yeah you're talking about me it'sit's [TS]

00:02:39   yes yes so it's almost like a breakfast [TS]

00:02:41   and pasto yeah precisely yeah a ipod [TS]

00:02:45   nano breakfast on the continent is a [TS]

00:02:47   wonderful thing but here in America and [TS]

00:02:50   help breakfast is some minute maid and a [TS]

00:02:54   crescent with some marmalade well and [TS]

00:02:58   there's you don't get an egg [TS]

00:02:59   now that's the whole point they would [TS]

00:03:00   then that I think they would a priori [TS]

00:03:02   say that that is no longer a continental [TS]

00:03:04   breakfast because that what you just [TS]

00:03:05   difference on the car there's three [TS]

00:03:06   things you just described about a [TS]

00:03:08   preference on the continent 900 [TS]

00:03:09   understand you're not going to get thin [TS]

00:03:11   slice calf brains everywhere you may [TS]

00:03:13   have to accept like a lamb or something [TS]

00:03:16   but you three things they thought ahead [TS]

00:03:17   they tried they spent money and I think [TS]

00:03:19   those three things are completely absent [TS]

00:03:21   from what they call a continental [TS]

00:03:23   breakfast in America because it seems to [TS]

00:03:24   me that you don't need to think ahead [TS]

00:03:26   these Ivy you don't have to prepare very [TS]

00:03:28   much [TS]

00:03:29   you don't have to do things like get [TS]

00:03:30   oranges to squeeze you certainly don't [TS]

00:03:32   have to try you just have to get a [TS]

00:03:34   retiree to come in 25 which she probably [TS]

00:03:35   do anyway we're here [TS]

00:03:37   this is it says she and and spend spend [TS]

00:03:40   money you got us been a little too if [TS]

00:03:41   you want to have a kid if you don't have [TS]

00:03:42   a you know a calf brain you got to find [TS]

00:03:45   a calf and a lot of people are going to [TS]

00:03:46   that seven in the morning [TS]

00:03:47   generally in Germany what you have that [TS]

00:03:49   you don't have here in America is that [TS]

00:03:50   you have frauen math you have these [TS]

00:03:53   frauen whoo-hoo [TS]

00:03:55   they are Frau's just translate frown [TS]

00:03:59   into English ok and further Frau's and [TS]

00:04:02   they they take a little pride in what [TS]

00:04:04   they're doing they're wearing some like [TS]

00:04:05   a costume and they have sometimes they [TS]

00:04:09   would a daily in their hair and they [TS]

00:04:12   come in they make sure that you're [TS]

00:04:13   comfortable they make sure that you have [TS]

00:04:15   enough coffee like you don't ever sit [TS]

00:04:16   there like a totality engagin [TS]

00:04:19   mm no I'm sorry about various just say [TS]

00:04:21   but Varian for help for is that right so [TS]

00:04:26   it's a it's a very informal help for we [TS]

00:04:32   don't have those in America you know now [TS]

00:04:33   step we just have all the ladies here is [TS]

00:04:36   that you know this is funny your word [TS]

00:04:38   guy but you know as soon as you said you [TS]

00:04:40   know Franklin right that's the plural [TS]

00:04:43   that's women with my front line is is a [TS]

00:04:46   girl throw line [TS]

00:04:47   yeah throw line okay and then you know [TS]

00:04:49   in in America we have all kinds of words [TS]

00:04:51   for women that have different you know [TS]

00:04:53   connotations some of them silly some of [TS]

00:04:55   them and but then you know I heard about [TS]

00:04:57   in France maybe this is just one city in [TS]

00:04:59   France but I heard that they gave not [TS]

00:05:02   only done away with Mademoiselle but [TS]

00:05:04   they banned Mademoiselle have your one [TS]

00:05:06   now craw it's it's it's it's only sir [TS]

00:05:10   lala salama damn now you're either a [TS]

00:05:12   monster or you're my damn Mademoiselle [TS]

00:05:15   was seen as I think being you know that [TS]

00:05:18   diminutive what's the word that you [TS]

00:05:19   something insulting you know it's a it's [TS]

00:05:21   like it's like it would be like calling [TS]

00:05:23   somebody a girl or you know what I mean [TS]

00:05:26   or or try to give a good example [TS]

00:05:29   well miss in America I like Miss yeah [TS]

00:05:33   but it but remember there was a whole [TS]

00:05:34   movement to replace it with moves MIT [TS]

00:05:36   layout and now look at you last time you [TS]

00:05:38   consciously use the word mins [TS]

00:05:40   oh I i hate use miss and ms both very [TS]

00:05:44   often and for completely opposite [TS]

00:05:46   reasons to use moves as a YouTube ms [TS]

00:05:51   like ironically nice to meet you Miz [TS]

00:05:57   we'll see [TS]

00:05:58   excuse me move these and you're standing [TS]

00:06:02   on my white loafer I think Miz is the [TS]

00:06:05   young woman's version of dr. right if [TS]

00:06:07   you call it call anybody dr. very few [TS]

00:06:10   people are gonna be mad if you call them [TS]

00:06:11   doctor so I like this on and learn this [TS]

00:06:13   put this church which I know you didn't [TS]

00:06:16   go to which I don't want to get into [TS]

00:06:17   been to church if you never know what to [TS]

00:06:19   call somebody in anybody especially like [TS]

00:06:22   an old man thinks is important you [TS]

00:06:23   always call him doctor because he's [TS]

00:06:25   probably one of those dipshits that's [TS]

00:06:27   god bless him speak [TS]

00:06:28   who's been to the seminary mm well I see [TS]

00:06:31   that right [TS]

00:06:32   no but here's the thing and this is very [TS]

00:06:35   widely accepted at least in the Midwest [TS]

00:06:36   in the you know the church of christ [TS]

00:06:38   area and you call you call your Minister [TS]

00:06:40   of that area though where the river [TS]

00:06:42   comes through town and right and just do [TS]

00:06:45   the guilt falls right off the trees you [TS]

00:06:47   call you call your Minister Dr they [TS]

00:06:49   called the land of milk and apologies [TS]

00:06:50   huh and so you say your ministry you say [TS]

00:06:52   what you just said you know there's this [TS]

00:06:54   one guy who's like insisting on being [TS]

00:06:56   dr. Cottle and he was like he was he was [TS]

00:06:58   the the the wise man of our church she [TS]

00:07:01   was like the head of the elders yeah the [TS]

00:07:02   elders and you get deacons it's kind of [TS]

00:07:03   like they congress right [TS]

00:07:05   the elders are like the Senate and the [TS]

00:07:07   deacons are kind of like you know the [TS]

00:07:09   house of Congress and their the [TS]

00:07:11   governing body and then you got the the [TS]

00:07:13   head Minister which is you know [TS]

00:07:14   obviously like the President and so [TS]

00:07:16   anyway but being a doctor Carter all you [TS]

00:07:18   call mr. Connell you'd be in trouble [TS]

00:07:19   I'll be calling like calling you know [TS]

00:07:21   somebody with a PhD mr. it's just not [TS]

00:07:23   done right so here's what here's the [TS]

00:07:25   thing you meet somebody especially in [TS]

00:07:27   these religious circles are obviously in [TS]

00:07:29   the in circles of the academia you call [TS]

00:07:31   from a dr. you never go wrong worst case [TS]

00:07:33   that are they saying no you know dr. [TS]

00:07:35   Katz is my father's name call me John or [TS]

00:07:37   whatever right now with a lady if you [TS]

00:07:40   call her ms if it's a young lady a woman [TS]

00:07:42   young woman not done over girl you call [TS]

00:07:46   her and call her to call her mrs. Katz [TS]

00:07:48   she's gonna be happy to call Miss cats [TS]

00:07:50   your open your open a whole box of cats [TS]

00:07:53   sure you sure are where my dad's version [TS]

00:07:56   of that was to call everybody counselor [TS]

00:07:58   said that's awesome there was a ninety [TS]

00:08:02   percent chance that everybody he met on [TS]

00:08:04   the street was a lawyer look so you go [TS]

00:08:06   all right counselor there is our well i [TS]

00:08:09   finally go around the back i finally go [TS]

00:08:11   around the bend and started happening [TS]

00:08:13   the hobo that I clearly want to be and I [TS]

00:08:15   really lose and start throwing fucking [TS]

00:08:16   rice birds i'm gonna start calling [TS]

00:08:18   everybody your honor when I go to the [TS]

00:08:22   KFC and demand my free chicken and eat [TS]

00:08:24   angrily i'm going to say that I get your [TS]

00:08:25   order [TS]

00:08:26   yeah like your highness now let's come [TS]

00:08:28   back to someone come back to your [TS]

00:08:30   highness and what's this two of those [TS]

00:08:32   there's your hot and your highness and [TS]

00:08:34   your majesty and I don't know the [TS]

00:08:36   difference between those are going to [TS]

00:08:37   get back to that ok sorry I'm talking a [TS]

00:08:39   lot because i have i mentioned another [TS]

00:08:41   program i have a pinched nerve and I'm [TS]

00:08:43   in excruciating pain [TS]

00:08:44   right now you could tell kitchen also [TS]

00:08:46   you're trying to talk away the pain I've [TS]

00:08:48   done for 45 years and has no I'm sorry [TS]

00:08:51   you have a printer better very painful [TS]

00:08:53   could go back to that I'd like to get [TS]

00:08:54   your advice because i don't mean to do [TS]

00:08:55   synergy between programs but I there was [TS]

00:08:57   no suggestion i do acupuncture like a [TS]

00:08:58   circle back to that and here's the thing [TS]

00:09:00   you're in a restaurant you get a frow [TS]

00:09:02   you got you got a comedian far out how [TS]

00:09:05   do you say that in 304 out a like on [TS]

00:09:09   Spencer's not have some fro and it's so [TS]

00:09:11   if it's a like eight ish thish is male [TS]

00:09:14   right to take the tables boy [TS]

00:09:17   yeah beer you've already exceeded my [TS]

00:09:20   useful German i can say is a slide beer [TS]

00:09:25   danke I can spit current email fucking [TS]

00:09:27   the station house [TS]

00:09:29   mmm i learned how to say i'm going to [TS]

00:09:32   ask where things are the attack was the [TS]

00:09:34   word the word current senior vagan [TS]

00:09:35   vocally attack [TS]

00:09:37   ya know I have my German is just sits [TS]

00:09:39   confined to the absolute minimum good at [TS]

00:09:44   least listen to people talk German oh [TS]

00:09:45   gosh you know jerm jerm you know why I'm [TS]

00:09:48   not gonna go ping pong [TS]

00:09:49   I'm just saying three languages three [TS]

00:09:50   languages oh thanks to them everybody's [TS]

00:09:53   or everybody sounds mad [TS]

00:09:55   no matter what oh right i don't see if [TS]

00:09:57   you can get some one of them Germans [TS]

00:09:58   that's where the other two and one of [TS]

00:10:00   them technically a culture with two [TS]

00:10:02   languages and the third one is a culture [TS]

00:10:07   whose former incarnation had 10 times [TS]

00:10:09   would like to try and guess first one is [TS]

00:10:11   German what is the second one a stand-up [TS]

00:10:15   comedian [TS]

00:10:16   what is the deal with the former Soviet [TS]

00:10:20   Union figure out stand-up comedians is [TS]

00:10:22   that their delivery [TS]

00:10:23   the only other time that human-being [TS]

00:10:25   speak that way is when they're furious [TS]

00:10:29   what what is the deal what is the deal [TS]

00:10:33   like Ally the rocket scientists that are [TS]

00:10:35   coming up it's it's like they speak that [TS]

00:10:38   they have a big smile on their face but [TS]

00:10:39   they are they're talking like we just [TS]

00:10:42   hit their car [TS]

00:10:43   okay number two um this is kind of true [TS]

00:10:47   with Cantonese but it's really true with [TS]

00:10:48   mandarin i really enjoy I i try to ask [TS]

00:10:51   people to try to explain this to me [TS]

00:10:52   because there's a musicality to a [TS]

00:10:54   certain [TS]

00:10:55   it sounds really stupid because I don't [TS]

00:10:56   speak mandarin it's really hard to speak [TS]

00:10:58   mandarin i've learned just enough to say [TS]

00:10:59   shot but between two people speak [TS]

00:11:01   mandarin it's it's beautiful like when [TS]

00:11:03   there seems to be like a familiar [TS]

00:11:05   version of mandarin it's very musical [TS]

00:11:08   ever noticed this is it will take that [TS]

00:11:11   high but that's got a really beautiful [TS]

00:11:13   sound to it but isn't isn't Mandarin a [TS]

00:11:15   tonal language of super tonal yes you so [TS]

00:11:19   it is it's the pitch you might need to [TS]

00:11:21   say you might mean to say fri waitress [TS]

00:11:23   and say you're your cock sucker [TS]

00:11:24   sure just because you changed your [TS]

00:11:26   register a tiny bed yeah that's it [TS]

00:11:28   that's amazing I I am I i would I will [TS]

00:11:31   never understand how to speak a tonal [TS]

00:11:32   language no but when folks every three [TS]

00:11:35   hours because i'm a nice big indie rock [TS]

00:11:37   that's that's extremely don't know food [TS]

00:11:39   okay the third ones Russian Russian [TS]

00:11:41   people always want yelling at each other [TS]

00:11:42   so the indie rock is a tonal language [TS]

00:11:44   Russian people are always yelling at us [TS]

00:11:46   we used to go to a why we had a ymca [TS]

00:11:48   before we had a child and didn't have [TS]

00:11:49   time to do anything we go to the y530 [TS]

00:11:51   the morning go to why we do our workout [TS]

00:11:53   and I would go and sit in the sauna [TS]

00:11:54   where everyone would spit and that's [TS]

00:11:57   Russian and Chinese people by the way [TS]

00:11:58   that's a commonality through all the [TS]

00:12:00   cultures and lots of spinning right [TS]

00:12:03   writing floor in front of you and into [TS]

00:12:05   guys who are obviously was always very [TS]

00:12:06   kind of heavy like big big Russian guys [TS]

00:12:09   russian guys are big a lot of time and [TS]

00:12:10   you tell your pals but but they sounded [TS]

00:12:14   like they're trying to split a woman I [TS]

00:12:15   mean it was their furious it sounded [TS]

00:12:16   furious but that's just that's how the [TS]

00:12:17   language that you know it is that [TS]

00:12:19   consonant sound so much consonant sound [TS]

00:12:22   in Russian and German you think [TS]

00:12:25   well yeah but our but it may also be [TS]

00:12:27   that the the culture is one of of like [TS]

00:12:30   argumentative pneus there's lots of [TS]

00:12:33   languages like this Italian people you [TS]

00:12:34   know famously in in stereotypes talk [TS]

00:12:37   with this do you think there's any [TS]

00:12:37   language everybody sounds like they're [TS]

00:12:39   getting along is that Bellingham ease [TS]

00:12:41   where everyone sounds like they're [TS]

00:12:43   getting along and i have never heard [TS]

00:12:44   what when you are in Scandinavia it is [TS]

00:12:47   and people are talking it's it's just [TS]

00:12:50   like the sound of a well-oiled machine [TS]

00:12:54   is it really sound like the like the way [TS]

00:12:56   they make fun on prairie home companion [TS]

00:12:57   is really very different very different [TS]

00:12:58   is really like that one eternity swedish [TS]

00:13:02   chef I'm trying to subtly to it but when [TS]

00:13:04   i was very slow whenever they have like [TS]

00:13:06   a Lutheran minister for sand [TS]

00:13:07   yeah just hire definitely defeated in [TS]

00:13:09   sounds very like that [TS]

00:13:12   yeah it's a pretty close no no it'sit's [TS]

00:13:16   more German sounding than that [TS]

00:13:17   ok it's not it's not quite so blue blue [TS]

00:13:19   blue but but but you know they don't [TS]

00:13:23   they don't raise their voices really at [TS]

00:13:24   each other I think it's a lot of things [TS]

00:13:26   you can get wrong and it doesn't require [TS]

00:13:27   tonality the other example let's say [TS]

00:13:29   you've got you've got to compete for out [TS]

00:13:31   and you would like a little bit more [TS]

00:13:32   foster and so you can you call to the [TS]

00:13:34   lid to the waitron at your restaurant [TS]

00:13:35   now here's the thing and what do you say [TS]

00:13:38   like if there's a lady in her fifties at [TS]

00:13:40   a Waffle House and you want her to come [TS]

00:13:42   over to the counter and we'll give you [TS]

00:13:44   some more of that coffee they got what [TS]

00:13:46   if you would like to get her attention [TS]

00:13:49   ok you're right you're always i say miss [TS]

00:13:52   that's exactly what I say there's no [TS]

00:13:55   other thing you need to say that Miss [TS]

00:13:57   because miss is the waitress version of [TS]

00:13:59   ms yeah sure you see Miss because if you [TS]

00:14:01   say madam like what the fuck does that [TS]

00:14:03   mean for lady or my grandfather used to [TS]

00:14:05   do you don't do that that's my [TS]

00:14:08   grandfather tri-gate you say miss [TS]

00:14:11   because it's based on the on the [TS]

00:14:13   old-fashioned assumption that if you are [TS]

00:14:15   a fifty-year-old waitress it's because [TS]

00:14:17   you never found a husband and this is [TS]

00:14:18   why it's good to know this story because [TS]

00:14:20   here's the thing [TS]

00:14:21   old people like people like to act like [TS]

00:14:23   they're young and young people like to [TS]

00:14:25   act like they're important right well I [TS]

00:14:28   put that poor because i have an [TS]

00:14:29   extraordinary amount of pain right now [TS]

00:14:31   but don't stop people like to feel young [TS]

00:14:33   right and young people like to feel [TS]

00:14:35   important and so we would like to feel [TS]

00:14:37   like you think they're young young [TS]

00:14:39   people like to feel like you're trying [TS]

00:14:41   to play along with that there's no other [TS]

00:14:42   person because fuck you do that you go [TS]

00:14:45   you knew you know when you make the day [TS]

00:14:47   it's a nice thank you that you orange [TS]

00:14:50   looks great on your lips but I find that [TS]

00:14:53   this thing that you're talking about [TS]

00:14:54   what the young people where they want to [TS]

00:14:56   feel important to it you can you can [TS]

00:14:59   really you can put a stop to that pretty [TS]

00:15:01   fast as you have a couple tricks for how [TS]

00:15:04   you like to do them [TS]

00:15:05   I you know when they say something when [TS]

00:15:09   they went when you say miss and they go [TS]

00:15:11   um um it's ms or whatever just you just [TS]

00:15:16   keep looking at him for a while without [TS]

00:15:19   saying anything back [TS]

00:15:21   it's not you're not stared at him it's [TS]

00:15:23   not a hard look is that is they're just [TS]

00:15:25   there [TS]

00:15:26   yeah you're just letting that hang in [TS]

00:15:28   the air for a while so that all the all [TS]

00:15:33   the other sort of attending thoughts [TS]

00:15:35   like what what did you just say you know [TS]

00:15:38   it also says it says it says I'm just [TS]

00:15:40   here and you know what I'm not thinking [TS]

00:15:43   about this but now you are but you just [TS]

00:15:47   let it sit there for a second and then [TS]

00:15:50   so you share another person might as [TS]

00:15:53   well have said no please call me [TS]

00:15:54   Superman or lex luthor 37 no actually [TS]

00:15:58   it's Lex Luthor and you just sit there [TS]

00:16:00   with no expression on your face and let [TS]

00:16:02   them marinate on that form it [TS]

00:16:03   yeah i mean there are plenty plenty of [TS]

00:16:06   things that i will that I welcome being [TS]

00:16:08   corrected on-site gonna get evaluated a [TS]

00:16:14   very small card for this i'm guessing [TS]

00:16:15   and guessing planning means almost none [TS]

00:16:17   but there are certain other plenty [TS]

00:16:19   plenty of things that I did that I that [TS]

00:16:21   I am better welcome correction but what [TS]

00:16:25   people people in the world who the [TS]

00:16:29   second guess my word choice that is one [TS]

00:16:33   that I i really i do not welcome other [TS]

00:16:36   people's input into the words that I [TS]

00:16:39   have chosen you know what I mean like I [TS]

00:16:41   choose I choose my words and then it's [TS]

00:16:46   not like a I don't need I don't need a [TS]

00:16:48   copy editor like standing out on the [TS]

00:16:52   other side with a liquor you know some [TS]

00:16:55   kind of commentary i feel that i feel [TS]

00:16:57   that way sometimes because I but don't [TS]

00:16:59   worry I'm very careless and fast talking [TS]

00:17:01   about a lot of things but sometimes I've [TS]

00:17:03   chosen a word very carefully because it [TS]

00:17:06   means not only does it mean this thing [TS]

00:17:09   as closely as possible to what I'm stuck [TS]

00:17:10   trying to say but perhaps more [TS]

00:17:13   importantly it doesn't mean these ten [TS]

00:17:15   different things and that's why didn't [TS]

00:17:16   choose any of those 10 different words [TS]

00:17:18   yeah yeah i said i had was in a [TS]

00:17:20   conversation with a with the young lady [TS]

00:17:22   the other day I said I wasn't a [TS]

00:17:24   freightliner I'm not without it was a [TS]

00:17:26   Miss ok and and I said something to the [TS]

00:17:29   effect of where i was talking about a [TS]

00:17:30   third person I was like you know he's a [TS]

00:17:32   really nice guy better [TS]

00:17:33   is it you know it is his arrogance gets [TS]

00:17:36   in his way sometimes and she said don't [TS]

00:17:40   you mean his excitability what's that [TS]

00:17:45   doesn't that doesn't make a lick of [TS]

00:17:46   sense [TS]

00:17:48   no it doesn't but she was trying to [TS]

00:17:49   because it's self-importance she could [TS]

00:17:51   have said pride she was trying to find [TS]

00:17:54   she was changing the topic is what the [TS]

00:17:56   fuck she was doing was trying to steer [TS]

00:17:58   me in the direction of being nice and if [TS]

00:18:03   you don't you don't you mean enthusiasm [TS]

00:18:05   yeah and in the process of trying to do [TS]

00:18:07   that she was also like that you know [TS]

00:18:10   butchering the meaning of what i was [TS]

00:18:13   saying whatever but you but that kind of [TS]

00:18:14   corrective that way that you would talk [TS]

00:18:16   to a kindergartener whatever you know [TS]

00:18:18   there's a visible surprisingly common [TS]

00:18:20   now and I i did that thing right [TS]

00:18:23   I just SAT there expressionless and the [TS]

00:18:27   room got quiet and I said I know the [TS]

00:18:33   difference between those two words and I [TS]

00:18:38   can't stand with you that my guest and [TS]

00:18:40   then she she looked down into her lap [TS]

00:18:43   they say anyway we're at along i think [TS]

00:18:49   you meant to send it to say I'm sorry [TS]

00:18:53   let's a as as joss whedon would say [TS]

00:18:56   let's get in a time machine and go back [TS]

00:18:57   30 seconds before you said that [TS]

00:19:00   what's that from I just read that in [TS]

00:19:02   Wired magazine the other day some some [TS]

00:19:05   guy it was you know some guidance [TS]

00:19:08   production staff said right here i think [TS]

00:19:10   we should put a line with it where he [TS]

00:19:11   says like I'm getting too old for this [TS]

00:19:12   shit [TS]

00:19:14   sweet and said let's get in a time [TS]

00:19:16   machine and go back 30 seconds before [TS]

00:19:18   you told me where a line should go [TS]

00:19:20   before you said that the line should be [TS]

00:19:23   I'm getting too old for this shit that's [TS]

00:19:25   that that's a lot of wonderful way for a [TS]

00:19:27   person in power to say something that's [TS]

00:19:29   really good [TS]

00:19:30   yeah because it's so much nicer than [TS]

00:19:32   your an idiot right you don't like [TS]

00:19:34   throwing your coffee in his face [TS]

00:19:36   this year you're fired [TS]

00:19:39   who is this guy like a lot of people [TS]

00:19:40   secretly one time machines it makes me [TS]

00:19:42   crazy [TS]

00:19:43   I mean I have a it makes us do not have [TS]

00:19:46   a time machine it makes you nuts that [TS]

00:19:47   people want time machine I don't get [TS]

00:19:49   that doesn't talk about politics but you [TS]

00:19:51   know just people man fucking people [TS]

00:19:53   people service that's it helpful [TS]

00:19:57   ok so you don't think ahead you've got [TS]

00:19:59   friends not your highness Your Majesty I [TS]

00:20:01   can probably just look this up if you [TS]

00:20:02   ever dealt directly with royalty in your [TS]

00:20:04   quarters of power you know well TTYL t [TS]

00:20:08   monarchy you use different words for [TS]

00:20:10   this as well you are you a few episodes [TS]

00:20:11   ago you refer to a barren and is not [TS]

00:20:14   somebody who can't have children but [TS]

00:20:15   somebody who is part of the European [TS]

00:20:17   yeah i think he said aristocracy right [TS]

00:20:20   aristocracy monitor these are different [TS]

00:20:23   terms of what is what is an aristocrat [TS]

00:20:25   risk the Aristocats what is the way [TS]

00:20:31   so what is an aristocrat somebody born [TS]

00:20:32   born into 10 to power with blood [TS]

00:20:35   yeah an aristocracy is that is a as a as [TS]

00:20:39   part of the lola garki the the ruling [TS]

00:20:43   tribes a monarch is a is a king or ruler [TS]

00:20:47   a single a single love pontiff right the [TS]

00:20:50   higher the hot guy guy the normal one or [TS]

00:20:53   two out workout or or gal you're right [TS]

00:20:56   you're absolutely right or gal stock but [TS]

00:21:00   they you know the there are a lot of [TS]

00:21:02   words that to describe all this all the [TS]

00:21:06   all the permutations of like born born [TS]

00:21:11   class and they can get very confusing [TS]

00:21:16   you can say you can kind of say the [TS]

00:21:18   wrong thing pretty fast in that world [TS]

00:21:21   right the only time you know like most [TS]

00:21:23   Americans I was um I've always been [TS]

00:21:28   fascinated by European nobility and I [TS]

00:21:32   like em overawed by it in one way in the [TS]

00:21:37   sense of like wow really [TS]

00:21:39   yarra your Viscount how man [TS]

00:21:43   cool i think you meant to say Vikan [TS]

00:21:46   uh-huh [TS]

00:21:47   but on the other hand like I'm an [TS]

00:21:49   American right so the second that [TS]

00:21:51   somebody stepped in front of me my in [TS]

00:21:54   line at the post office because they [TS]

00:21:56   were you know because they were an [TS]

00:21:59   aristocrat I would be like what no way I [TS]

00:22:02   step to the side fool but I was in a [TS]

00:22:05   little town in germany at one point and [TS]

00:22:09   was you know is casting in my hotel room [TS]

00:22:11   and it was afternoon and I heard I heard [TS]

00:22:15   the dulcet tones of some tubas off in [TS]

00:22:19   the distance and you know nothing [TS]

00:22:21   attracts me nothing gets me down out of [TS]

00:22:24   my hotel room like the sound of tubas in [TS]

00:22:27   a small german town because when the [TS]

00:22:30   Germans get the tubas it's something's [TS]

00:22:33   gonna happen you know what I mean that [TS]

00:22:35   is that's how they get going that's how [TS]

00:22:37   that Sami starts with two mins that's [TS]

00:22:40   how the shit starts in Germany and flew [TS]

00:22:43   boom boom boom boom [TS]

00:22:45   and if you hear that off in the distance [TS]

00:22:47   you're like ok they're getting there [TS]

00:22:49   later hosing on and they are loading [TS]

00:22:51   their gun pretty soon they're gonna be [TS]

00:22:52   retailing the factories so I come down [TS]

00:22:56   my hotel room and i'm walking around [TS]

00:22:57   this town i'm following the sound of the [TS]

00:23:00   tubas and and they're all coming from [TS]

00:23:03   behind this tall wall i'm i'm going to [TS]

00:23:06   circle around this wall trying to find a [TS]

00:23:08   way in and pretty soon I kind of find [TS]

00:23:11   this town hall building and go through a [TS]

00:23:14   gate and overhead or whatever and I find [TS]

00:23:16   I get into this this this big yard and [TS]

00:23:21   the yard is full of guys all dressed in [TS]

00:23:25   these pretty elaborate costumes and the [TS]

00:23:28   tubes are going and the beer is flowing [TS]

00:23:31   and I walk over and you know kind of [TS]

00:23:34   trying to make myself in conspicuous [TS]

00:23:36   over on the side and just kind of [TS]

00:23:40   watching what everybody's doing their [TS]

00:23:42   they're wearing you know hats with big [TS]

00:23:44   feathers in them and milk very military [TS]

00:23:47   uniforms and so I'm standard for a while [TS]

00:23:50   and I can tell that they that that [TS]

00:23:52   they're watching me like people are [TS]

00:23:54   looking at me out of the corner of my [TS]

00:23:55   eye [TS]

00:23:56   the corner of their eyes from boom and [TS]

00:24:03   eventually and I'm just kind of walking [TS]

00:24:05   around like do to do to do and i noticed [TS]

00:24:07   the bartender's there you know they have [TS]

00:24:10   a kind of trailer that serving beer and [TS]

00:24:12   the bartenders are teenagers to these [TS]

00:24:14   two teenage boys but 15 years old [TS]

00:24:16   servant beer and eventually a guy comes [TS]

00:24:21   over and he's like you know what are you [TS]

00:24:23   doing here you are you're not from here [TS]

00:24:26   these teeth speaks a little bit like [TS]

00:24:29   yeah yeah check 29 he speaks a little [TS]

00:24:31   bit like like schultz from Hogan's [TS]

00:24:33   Heroes except the higher pitch that's [TS]

00:24:35   not saying what are you doing [TS]

00:24:38   and I said are you know just coming [TS]

00:24:40   through town he said this is a private [TS]

00:24:42   event and I was like oh uh I'm sorry you [TS]

00:24:48   know i believe it was like very it's [TS]

00:24:50   okay you know you can come have maybe [TS]

00:24:53   one BR and then then you go because it's [TS]

00:24:56   this is private and so I he takes me [TS]

00:25:00   over the bar and you know night I get a [TS]

00:25:02   coke which everybody thinks it's [TS]

00:25:04   hilarious [TS]

00:25:05   now all these guys are talking to me and [TS]

00:25:07   it and it's and there it is a it's it's [TS]

00:25:10   shoots and fest who should invest which [TS]

00:25:13   is a which is the shooting festival [TS]

00:25:15   where everybody dresses up like a sort [TS]

00:25:21   of like Napoleon and then they and it's [TS]

00:25:26   it's like a it's a sort of a summer [TS]

00:25:29   festival but they have is it a is it a [TS]

00:25:31   funky number is kind of like we're [TS]

00:25:33   having a taking the mickey out kind of [TS]

00:25:35   fun thing or is it is a solemn no no [TS]

00:25:38   it's very fun they're having a it is a [TS]

00:25:40   it is a just a big beer drinking [TS]

00:25:44   occasion which uh which most holidays in [TS]

00:25:46   Germany are but but but it's kind of a [TS]

00:25:49   tradition you know it's one of those [TS]

00:25:51   festivals in Germany where it's rooted [TS]

00:25:54   in the idea that they're all they're all [TS]

00:25:56   hunters who and so anyway so I'm I'm [TS]

00:26:01   they're the shit and fast and then all [TS]

00:26:03   of a sudden everybody gets really [TS]

00:26:05   excited and we alternate we're looking [TS]

00:26:07   back at this city hall thing [TS]

00:26:09   and on the balcony of the city hall this [TS]

00:26:12   very well-dressed man steps out with a [TS]

00:26:15   with an attractive young lady and a [TS]

00:26:17   couple of little girls and they step out [TS]

00:26:20   on the balcony and everybody goes our [TS]

00:26:22   Robert Robert barrar and they all kind [TS]

00:26:25   of runaround and they get and they they [TS]

00:26:27   form up in ranks and the guy that it has [TS]

00:26:32   sort of appointed himself as my my tour [TS]

00:26:35   guide he's like ah it's the it's the [TS]

00:26:38   Duke the Duke a real Duke he's like yes [TS]

00:26:43   it's the Duke and and that and I was [TS]

00:26:45   like is that the city hall and he's like [TS]

00:26:47   no that's the Dukes house and this is [TS]

00:26:49   the big moment you know and the Duke [TS]

00:26:53   comes out and I learned very shortly [TS]

00:26:55   that the two teenage boys who are [TS]

00:26:57   serving beer or the Duke sons how that [TS]

00:27:00   is not a mini Duke like guys some kind [TS]

00:27:03   of yeah it's like a petite Duke i know [TS]

00:27:05   i'm not sure they're the pro probably [TS]

00:27:06   those two guys right now or down in [TS]

00:27:08   Kurra Sal somewhere killing American [TS]

00:27:10   girls on the beach someone HD but a butt [TS]

00:27:14   so the Duke is there and then all these [TS]

00:27:16   guys at which they're all the [TS]

00:27:17   townspeople you know from around this [TS]

00:27:19   area they all form up in ranks and start [TS]

00:27:22   marching around the the yard and as they [TS]

00:27:30   and so they're marching now and they're [TS]

00:27:32   all drunk and as they walked past the [TS]

00:27:35   Dukes part portion of the house like [TS]

00:27:37   they're marching in a square basically [TS]

00:27:38   marching up and down the square and as [TS]

00:27:42   they walk past the Duke they break into [TS]

00:27:44   goose-stepping all come on this YouTube [TS]

00:27:47   is still playing at this point where I [TS]

00:27:49   swear to god yes the tubes are playing [TS]

00:27:50   purpepulons you know there's some other [TS]

00:27:53   horns and they they're there [TS]

00:27:56   goose-stepping the only time in my [TS]

00:27:57   entire life when I've seen like real [TS]

00:28:01   spending the last 30 years this happened [TS]

00:28:03   on this happened 10 years ago and you [TS]

00:28:07   know and it and there's nobody at this [TS]

00:28:09   party except the people and me I'm the [TS]

00:28:12   only outside observer and I was really [TS]

00:28:15   like flabbergasted [TS]

00:28:18   I was by primarily flabbergasted that I [TS]

00:28:20   was meeting these [TS]

00:28:22   these German aristocrats and then the [TS]

00:28:25   goose-stepping really put it over the [TS]

00:28:26   top and did that nobody nobody like kind [TS]

00:28:31   of anyone [TS]

00:28:32   Russell around kind of uncomfortably no [TS]

00:28:35   no but as the evening progressed after [TS]

00:28:38   the goose-stepping and then just turned [TS]

00:28:40   into like some serious drinking at that [TS]

00:28:42   point I had many long conversations with [TS]

00:28:44   those guys about how about how they [TS]

00:28:48   missed Hitler he wasn't that bad [TS]

00:28:54   for real too bad about the g is it okay [TS]

00:28:57   is it a little bit like states rights [TS]

00:28:59   kind of thing is look the thing is in [TS]

00:29:01   reading this book and you know how to do [TS]

00:29:02   everything and you stuff started eating [TS]

00:29:04   like it or not you start to realize that [TS]

00:29:06   part of the whole thing with the south [TS]

00:29:08   is they just didn't like being pushed [TS]

00:29:09   around [TS]

00:29:09   sure didn't like their primary but isn't [TS]

00:29:13   awful that we can talk about this [TS]

00:29:14   without some kind of like implicit [TS]

00:29:16   apology it's fucking history people did [TS]

00:29:18   not like having their livelihood [TS]

00:29:19   threatened him [TS]

00:29:21   first of all by anybody nobody nobody [TS]

00:29:24   likes that right but then the whole idea [TS]

00:29:26   of of somebody in in the North like [TS]

00:29:30   telling them that they're wrong [TS]

00:29:33   modern Christian mm and doing something [TS]

00:29:36   that must be stopped and then having a [TS]

00:29:38   law about it stopped pretty poorly with [TS]

00:29:41   a lot of people in the South setting [TS]

00:29:42   aside the fact that the only human [TS]

00:29:43   beings which is not super cool to do em [TS]

00:29:46   and is that kind of the case here didn't [TS]

00:29:49   I did they miss the certainty i mean [TS]

00:29:51   that they missed the snappy outfit where [TS]

00:29:53   they miss you know it's only strictly [TS]

00:29:56   didn't miss genocide that doesn't come [TS]

00:29:58   up you know just the third rail [TS]

00:30:00   yeah we got nobody driving driving the [TS]

00:30:02   tri-rail nobody in freaking horse for [TS]

00:30:04   whatever town is in you know was [TS]

00:30:07   conscious of genocide there the you [TS]

00:30:11   talking about people that have lived in [TS]

00:30:12   the same 600 person town their whole [TS]

00:30:15   lives right you know they they're just [TS]

00:30:18   they just remember when they were on top [TS]

00:30:20   and it always every every person in the [TS]

00:30:24   world thinks that 30 years ago was [TS]

00:30:27   better than now [TS]

00:30:28   or 40 years ago was better than now you [TS]

00:30:31   know it's it's just that's a really can [TS]

00:30:33   modern and perhaps contemporary conceit [TS]

00:30:35   how do you mean well it seems to me that [TS]

00:30:39   there was a time when people understood [TS]

00:30:41   for a variety of reasons maybe it's [TS]

00:30:43   because they didn't read a lot of books [TS]

00:30:45   about history maybe it's because [TS]

00:30:46   somebody ever their family had always [TS]

00:30:48   farmed and they've always had a couple [TS]

00:30:51   kids die every generation there was [TS]

00:30:54   probably for for a lot of people for a [TS]

00:30:55   hundred years things kind of state [TS]

00:30:57   mostly the same is like they SAT around [TS]

00:30:59   and let you know I wish Norman Lear was [TS]

00:31:02   still making TV shows there is there's a [TS]

00:31:04   lot of you know sameness there is a [TS]

00:31:06   saying the same hymns you don't mean [TS]

00:31:08   yeah but there was always I can't [TS]

00:31:12   imagine that throughout history there [TS]

00:31:13   wasn't always a guy who came into the [TS]

00:31:16   town and said it's the latest greatest [TS]

00:31:19   saddle this is the newest way to make us [TS]

00:31:24   make a horseshoe and i'm going to [TS]

00:31:27   revolutionize the way you make [TS]

00:31:28   horseshoes and as soon as that was that [TS]

00:31:31   was adopted the new horse she was [TS]

00:31:33   adopted [TS]

00:31:34   there was some guy sitting on a hay bale [TS]

00:31:35   that was like man in my day or [TS]

00:31:39   shoemaking was a art you know they're I [TS]

00:31:42   I think you can you improve this because [TS]

00:31:45   it's already as good as it can get [TS]

00:31:46   I think sentimentality is basic is a [TS]

00:31:49   basic human if it wasn't you know you [TS]

00:31:52   read books going back all the way and [TS]

00:31:54   people are like boy is there any like it [TS]

00:31:56   used to be [TS]

00:31:57   it's just the most common the most [TS]

00:32:00   common response i think to 2am and that [TS]

00:32:04   it in America to the the the south by [TS]

00:32:10   the time of the Civil War you know this [TS]

00:32:13   conflict between the North and the South [TS]

00:32:15   had been going on from the very [TS]

00:32:17   beginning it was already a hundred and [TS]

00:32:19   fifty years old so the South wasn't just [TS]

00:32:22   like don't push us around the south will [TS]

00:32:24   savory savory i mean i started in like [TS]

00:32:26   what like 1640 something like that it [TS]

00:32:28   was it you know it's been around for a [TS]

00:32:30   while but then i'm pretty sure it was in [TS]

00:32:32   the north in some places for awhile it [TS]

00:32:34   was just that most if I again I'm not a [TS]

00:32:36   historian but if i remember correctly [TS]

00:32:37   it's just that all the northern states [TS]

00:32:38   had stopped doing it [TS]

00:32:40   gone you know this is kind of fucked up [TS]

00:32:41   they had done that pretty long time [TS]

00:32:44   before the Civil War [TS]

00:32:45   oh yeah a very long time but the [TS]

00:32:48   conflict between the North and the South [TS]

00:32:49   was much it was rooted in in the fact [TS]

00:32:53   that the South was settled by care i say [TS]

00:32:56   it aristocracy you know the the people [TS]

00:33:00   that settled in virginia were generally [TS]

00:33:03   the second and third sons of royalty in [TS]

00:33:07   the in the UK who were not in line to [TS]

00:33:10   inherit the mansion that's like sweat [TS]

00:33:12   Scotland and stuff like his last [TS]

00:33:14   Scottish people in the South right well [TS]

00:33:16   the Scottish people came to the South [TS]

00:33:17   much later the original Virginians were [TS]

00:33:19   all from from southern England who and [TS]

00:33:22   they were you know they were the they [TS]

00:33:24   were rich they were the Cavaliers they [TS]

00:33:25   had class they had money they rode [TS]

00:33:28   horses and they farmed and they were you [TS]

00:33:32   know they were people they were sword [TS]

00:33:34   fighters and they were they had [TS]

00:33:36   gallantry those were the people that [TS]

00:33:38   settled but you came down for a lady [TS]

00:33:39   right exactly the people that settled in [TS]

00:33:42   the north for Puritans and we're very [TS]

00:33:45   like a had a extremely different culture [TS]

00:33:50   uh that was very dismissive of that [TS]

00:33:54   cavalier kind of the kind of gallantry [TS]

00:33:58   and they were they were much more you [TS]

00:34:00   know they had they had a work ethic they [TS]

00:34:02   were industrious and that so that [TS]

00:34:04   conflict in the in america between the [TS]

00:34:06   sort of prudish finger-wagging north and [TS]

00:34:12   the swash buckling South was written in [TS]

00:34:17   it written in the cards from the very [TS]

00:34:18   beginning this is a really productive [TS]

00:34:20   and you should correct me on this if i'm [TS]

00:34:21   wrong but at one reductive way in my [TS]

00:34:24   mind but what you're saying is that a [TS]

00:34:25   lot of people in what we call in North [TS]

00:34:27   arrived here looking for religious [TS]

00:34:30   freedom or freedom from religious [TS]

00:34:31   persecution [TS]

00:34:32   I wonder if on some level people in the [TS]

00:34:34   South came here looking for [TS]

00:34:35   entrepreneurial freedom absolutely other [TS]

00:34:37   people from the South headed for a long [TS]

00:34:39   time no interest in breaking ties with [TS]

00:34:41   the United States or with the with the [TS]

00:34:44   United Kingdom or I guess England and [TS]

00:34:48   you know they were just [TS]

00:34:51   it in the choice was either stay in [TS]

00:34:53   England and be the third son of the Duke [TS]

00:34:55   or come to America and be the new you [TS]

00:34:59   know the new Prince of your 50,000 acre [TS]

00:35:04   farm in Virginia so totally different [TS]

00:35:09   cultures and cultures that did not see [TS]

00:35:10   the CII work attempts with a [TS]

00:35:12   contemptuous of each other from the very [TS]

00:35:14   start [TS]

00:35:15   you know again I think you see that you [TS]

00:35:17   see that in the continental congress [TS]

00:35:19   when they're trying to write the [TS]

00:35:20   Constitution you know the the attitudes [TS]

00:35:23   of of delegates from the Carolinas vs [TS]

00:35:28   massachusetts they're just coming from a [TS]

00:35:30   completely different place [TS]

00:35:32   yeah it's amazing that could happen at [TS]

00:35:33   all can return to the sentimentality and [TS]

00:35:35   think for one second because there's [TS]

00:35:37   something you talked about man [TS]

00:35:39   yes please he said something after we [TS]

00:35:41   stopped recording a few years ago and I [TS]

00:35:42   wish we could talk more about it because [TS]

00:35:45   he should just tell the story but is [TS]

00:35:48   that wonderful a wonderful phrase we've [TS]

00:35:50   all heard attributed to people who lived [TS]

00:35:52   under Stalin and people who lived under [TS]

00:35:55   Mussolini and I remember you tell me [TS]

00:35:57   which one it is but there's a phrase [TS]

00:35:58   here right what's that phrase [TS]

00:36:00   oh yeah right I who I learned this is [TS]

00:36:03   upfront with the straight version with [TS]

00:36:05   the straight version everybody knows all [TS]

00:36:06   the straight version is you know [TS]

00:36:08   yeah sure Mussolini was was a bastard [TS]

00:36:11   but at least the trains ran on time [TS]

00:36:14   right at least the trains run on time [TS]

00:36:16   that's the thing that everyone always [TS]

00:36:18   says about fascism it's the it's the the [TS]

00:36:22   apology for fascism that despite all the [TS]

00:36:26   concentration camps and despite all of [TS]

00:36:28   the you know the marching through the [TS]

00:36:30   streets with torches at least the [TS]

00:36:33   transform Africa and it's usually in my [TS]

00:36:35   mind anyway it's spoken in the voice of [TS]

00:36:37   the oppressed people who shrugged their [TS]

00:36:40   shoulders in their simple peasant garb [TS]

00:36:42   and go well it's bad news but at least [TS]

00:36:44   at least he made the trains run on time [TS]

00:36:46   rain right and also if it's I think in [TS]

00:36:50   some ways it's primarily spoken by [TS]

00:36:52   intellectuals who are trying to find who [TS]

00:36:55   are trying to say like that that the [TS]

00:36:58   that the good side of fascism [TS]

00:37:02   that there is a good side to fascist you [TS]

00:37:03   know it's a day it's the classic sort of [TS]

00:37:06   New York response like always the trains [TS]

00:37:09   run on time it's you can't you can't [TS]

00:37:11   dismiss dismiss fascism out of hand [TS]

00:37:13   it's surely think that's what they're [TS]

00:37:15   saying it's well it's shorthand for [TS]

00:37:18   shorthand for trying to understand like [TS]

00:37:20   how did how did how did these systems [TS]

00:37:23   but seemingly work how was their Soviet [TS]

00:37:27   they can actually give it is in a given [TS]

00:37:29   you an excuse for not excuse i think of [TS]

00:37:31   it as a reasoning for culpability we go [TS]

00:37:34   like oh my gosh how could people sit [TS]

00:37:35   around all these awful things happen you [TS]

00:37:37   know the rape of nanking or I know in [TS]

00:37:40   their tracks run exactly well you know [TS]

00:37:42   the peat the reason that people didn't [TS]

00:37:43   repeal was that they didn't have the you [TS]

00:37:46   know they didn't write the weapons and [TS]

00:37:47   the trains run on time right that is [TS]

00:37:50   exactly right [TS]

00:37:51   excuse excuse for culpability in any [TS]

00:37:53   case my friend what my friend Wesley [TS]

00:37:55   states the author and performer under [TS]

00:37:59   the name John Wesley Hardin his father [TS]

00:38:01   is a was a professor and his father [TS]

00:38:04   lives in Italy and his father had this [TS]

00:38:08   tremendous insight recently and is [TS]

00:38:11   speaking to Italians that Wesley [TS]

00:38:13   communicated to me which was that [TS]

00:38:15   initially that statement was spoken [TS]

00:38:20   ironically that the Italians were saying [TS]

00:38:24   not only did fascism do all these you [TS]

00:38:28   know commit all these brutalities but [TS]

00:38:30   the trains didn't run on time the trains [TS]

00:38:32   have never run our time they didn't run [TS]

00:38:34   on time for Mussolini in front of it [TS]

00:38:37   they're not running on time now it was [TS]

00:38:39   it was spoken ironically at least the [TS]

00:38:42   train [TS]

00:38:42   well at least the trains from which [TS]

00:38:45   completely completely changes the [TS]

00:38:47   meaning it flips it absolutely upside [TS]

00:38:49   down and and when one was explained this [TS]

00:38:53   to me [TS]

00:38:53   I burst into tears it was so it was so [TS]

00:38:57   profound the understanding that but that [TS]

00:39:01   trains never ran on time and that [TS]

00:39:03   somehow that had been garbled in [TS]

00:39:06   translation and my entire life people [TS]

00:39:08   have been saying it to me [TS]

00:39:10   as you know as this apology for fascism [TS]

00:39:13   or this excuse for culpability as you [TS]

00:39:15   say and and to understand that no that [TS]

00:39:18   was that was meant ironically and always [TS]

00:39:21   was [TS]

00:39:22   you would never an Italian would never [TS]

00:39:23   say that with unconscious of the fact [TS]

00:39:25   that that that they were being sarcastic [TS]

00:39:28   i just i cried and cried i was so happy [TS]

00:39:31   I was so happy and so just devastated [TS]

00:39:35   like oh my god for the 412 of like just [TS]

00:39:39   the just the tinge of pronunciation you [TS]

00:39:43   flew for the 12 that i've been i've been [TS]

00:39:46   walking around under this [TS]

00:39:47   misapprehension my whole life is amazing [TS]

00:39:53   trains never rent on time yeah yeah and [TS]

00:39:57   you think they you know what we should [TS]

00:40:00   we should avoid the Hitler talk [TS]

00:40:02   no no we have been a long time since we [TS]

00:40:04   talked about Hitler I was thinking about [TS]

00:40:05   that I was realizing that both the [TS]

00:40:08   ping-pong and Hitler had largely fallen [TS]

00:40:09   to the side now trying to decide that [TS]

00:40:11   you know it's not that it's good or bad [TS]

00:40:12   was always observing and I was merely [TS]

00:40:14   observing it [TS]

00:40:15   I you know i'll talk about it all day [TS]

00:40:16   now don't get me started [TS]

00:40:18   yeah I know I know how you feel about [TS]

00:40:20   Hitler um I've been listening carefully [TS]

00:40:22   everything you said but I just sent you [TS]

00:40:23   like I've been also been reading about [TS]

00:40:25   the different titles for wealthy and I [TS]

00:40:26   can I just make 11 [TS]

00:40:28   first of all year you are you are the [TS]

00:40:30   person I've got this quote from a couple [TS]

00:40:31   times but you're the one who I free a [TS]

00:40:33   free quote you having said even Bono has [TS]

00:40:36   a boss [TS]

00:40:37   yeah right in the context of saying well [TS]

00:40:39   you know everybody's got somebody that [TS]

00:40:40   they've gotta please [TS]

00:40:41   well you know what in fucking royalty [TS]

00:40:43   there's always somebody who's over you [TS]

00:40:44   I'm realizing in in the sense of this [TS]

00:40:47   page i sent you was what royal noble and [TS]

00:40:49   chivalric ranks and farcical how many [TS]

00:40:51   different than what are.what bureaucracy [TS]

00:40:53   there is to this stuff you think [TS]

00:40:54   yourself okay well obviously at the top [TS]

00:40:56   you got a king [TS]

00:40:58   let's say but you know what you can have [TS]

00:41:00   a High King a hiking is a king who rules [TS]

00:41:02   over lesser kings and you're saying [TS]

00:41:04   yourself will obviously if you're the [TS]

00:41:05   high king in a charge of other kings and [TS]

00:41:07   then and then you got the Emperor mm [TS]

00:41:09   you're the caesar in this cases are you [TS]

00:41:11   got somebody who's in time and come on [TS]

00:41:13   that's that that is that's that seems to [TS]

00:41:15   me like noble inflation [TS]

00:41:18   well I'm not only that they have a noob [TS]

00:41:19   Emperor it certainly in Europe you have [TS]

00:41:22   all those situations where you Queen [TS]

00:41:24   Victoria and the and + Tsar Nicholas and [TS]

00:41:30   and Frederick Wilhelm they were all [TS]

00:41:34   cousins they were like first cousins [TS]

00:41:36   they all had a bailar the same [TS]

00:41:38   grandmother [TS]

00:41:39   I mean how and and you're fighting all [TS]

00:41:40   the fighting World War one and it's it's [TS]

00:41:43   like you're your it's like a family [TS]

00:41:47   dispute and everybody's a little German [TS]

00:41:50   right is that what it is isn't there a [TS]

00:41:51   lot like my friend my friend grant I [TS]

00:41:52   think you've met is from South Africa [TS]

00:41:54   but he's somehow weirdly related to a [TS]

00:41:56   German royalty it's like an almost [TS]

00:41:58   everybody on the planet is somehow [TS]

00:41:59   almost German royalty i think yeah the [TS]

00:42:02   Germans had a lot of well that's the [TS]

00:42:04   amazing thing about it they had a lot of [TS]

00:42:06   little principalities and little little [TS]

00:42:09   uh the the nobles their kind of held [TS]

00:42:13   onto their autonomy a lot longer like [TS]

00:42:15   the it in the UK there was a the King of [TS]

00:42:19   England right and he and so you could be [TS]

00:42:21   you could be the Duke of umbria or [TS]

00:42:23   whatever but the king was in charge in [TS]

00:42:25   in in in Germany I think they they [TS]

00:42:29   maintained they maintained their little [TS]

00:42:32   borders a lot longer so if you have a if [TS]

00:42:35   you had a third daughter and you were [TS]

00:42:38   trying to marry her somebody and and [TS]

00:42:42   somebody said i am the Prince of [TS]

00:42:43   Yugoslavia and someone else yeah I'm the [TS]

00:42:47   you know I'm the Viscount of some German [TS]

00:42:50   hole-in-the-wall some some bend in the [TS]

00:42:53   river here in the ring gear i think you [TS]

00:42:59   picked the German over the Bugis love in [TS]

00:43:02   general for your third thing I think [TS]

00:43:04   you're looking two tickets to the [TS]

00:43:05   journey got some German royalty who [TS]

00:43:07   wants some French or English land based [TS]

00:43:09   on everything I've seen on television [TS]

00:43:10   I'm pretty sure and in films i think [TS]

00:43:12   you're always start with the German and [TS]

00:43:14   then you end with a farm somewhere in [TS]

00:43:15   England or France you know that's [TS]

00:43:18   accurate at the Catherine about [TS]

00:43:19   aquitaine you know you got that's but I [TS]

00:43:22   can't think of any other ones but listen [TS]

00:43:25   of course that I want to save you some [TS]

00:43:26   trouble here because not enough to make [TS]

00:43:28   the same error [TS]

00:43:29   did you know the distinction between [TS]

00:43:30   your [TS]

00:43:31   finest in your Majesty are you aware of [TS]

00:43:32   this i had to look it up no tell me I [TS]

00:43:34   see here's the thing and then you get [TS]

00:43:36   your Royal Highness write your royal [TS]

00:43:37   majesty and all this stuff here here's [TS]

00:43:39   the according to wikipedia which is [TS]

00:43:41   always right [TS]

00:43:42   this is the distinction Your Majesty is [TS]

00:43:44   the second person form of address for [TS]

00:43:46   somebody who is greater than a prince or [TS]

00:43:47   princess your highness is the second [TS]

00:43:50   person population which i think is also [TS]

00:43:53   a mountain chain for someone who is the [TS]

00:43:55   king or queen [TS]

00:43:56   I think that's I think that's what it is [TS]

00:43:58   your highness yeah sounds like maybe you [TS]

00:44:01   would say to somebody about weed from [TS]

00:44:02   thank you your highness but what is so [TS]

00:44:05   who is higher than a prince or princess [TS]

00:44:06   except for a king [TS]

00:44:08   well if you like I can go through this [TS]

00:44:10   we've got you got you got I'm going [TS]

00:44:12   strictly English and avoid all this this [TS]

00:44:14   is this Arabic stuff and unwind icons in [TS]

00:44:17   the Maharajah's and I'm going soft stars [TS]

00:44:19   in the Caesars in the once you get your [TS]

00:44:21   you got your kings and your Queens [TS]

00:44:22   they're pretty high up in a few i'm [TS]

00:44:23   leaving out the hiking thing is frankly [TS]

00:44:25   that sounds fucking made up [TS]

00:44:26   I mean it's kind of like it's kind of [TS]

00:44:27   like a special olympics of loyalty [TS]

00:44:29   you're just trying to it's almost like [TS]

00:44:30   the kim jong-il thing like you just give [TS]

00:44:31   yourself titles another my caring i [TS]

00:44:33   think you are in a george RR martin book [TS]

00:44:37   is a science fiction [TS]

00:44:39   I don't know I've never read them I just [TS]

00:44:41   was 420 420 I was hoping that would [TS]

00:44:44   connect with with our audience our [TS]

00:44:46   campus is open there we go [TS]

00:44:48   yes a reference to the thing that I know [TS]

00:44:51   well you get injures get the kings and [TS]

00:44:54   queens and then you got the princes and [TS]

00:44:56   princesses and everything fucking falls [TS]

00:44:58   apart you got Archduke's Grand Princess [TS]

00:45:00   Dukes princess doll fans and in Infante [TS]

00:45:03   and that's with Infante as though the [TS]

00:45:05   Spanish what the what the what the blood [TS]

00:45:08   disease electors Marcus's mark graves [TS]

00:45:10   and Marquis MIT land grades count v [TS]

00:45:12   kant's fri hairs that's a high-level [TS]

00:45:15   bear and then you got parents from there [TS]

00:45:17   you go to baronet dom dom ness nights [TS]

00:45:20   patricians nobles Esquire and then if [TS]

00:45:24   you're just a regular fucktard I guess [TS]

00:45:25   you're a gentleman [TS]

00:45:26   mhm and I'm just I'm just fucking scan [TS]

00:45:28   in this this is a very extensive article [TS]

00:45:29   but there's always ever you know bottle [TS]

00:45:31   bot we're gonna fit in this bond is a [TS]

00:45:34   prince [TS]

00:45:34   no i don't well in in rock-and-roll yeah [TS]

00:45:38   yeah Bono's a Duke for sure [TS]

00:45:40   ok so he's got a Duke has a Duchy [TS]

00:45:43   right the Duke is is I always think of [TS]

00:45:46   the Duke as being the highest nobility [TS]

00:45:49   under the royal family under the prints [TS]

00:45:53   on you know the king and the prince are [TS]

00:45:55   part of the are the leading family but a [TS]

00:45:57   Duke is the next highest he has the I [TS]

00:46:02   mean I guess an Archduke an Archduke [TS]

00:46:05   function from this is fucking ridiculous [TS]

00:46:06   Johnny statcom job i moved to california [TS]

00:46:09   to work at calm and of course it was a [TS]

00:46:11   debacle but you know you know how I like [TS]

00:46:13   on The Daily Show [TS]

00:46:15   I mean I i hope people get this bit but [TS]

00:46:17   it's a great because every correspondent [TS]

00:46:19   is a senior correspondent uh-huh right [TS]

00:46:21   you know we've got our senior you know [TS]

00:46:23   I'll electoral election food [TS]

00:46:26   correspondent or whatever and at one [TS]

00:46:29   point this is this more the great [TS]

00:46:32   indignity that brought it upon myself in [TS]

00:46:34   my quote unquote career so as I've been [TS]

00:46:37   at the dot com and i've been there for [TS]

00:46:38   the grandson of like approximately like [TS]

00:46:40   nine months you know and i was making [TS]

00:46:42   pretty good bank especially if you have [TS]

00:46:43   a ping-pong table that don't say that [TS]

00:46:45   it's called table tennis [TS]

00:46:47   actually that's a funny story is that [TS]

00:46:49   was when our boss who might as well have [TS]

00:46:51   had a snidely whiplash mustache in giant [TS]

00:46:53   bags with dollar signs running out of [TS]

00:46:55   the place [TS]

00:46:55   finally he was so used to being like a [TS]

00:46:58   guy who made the trains run on time that [TS]

00:47:01   when he keep he had that my boss had to [TS]

00:47:03   gradually say it had to say to him he [TS]

00:47:05   didn't gradually say this but he was [TS]

00:47:06   gradually accepted he said look you know [TS]

00:47:08   that these people here and working [TS]

00:47:10   online you know it's California you [TS]

00:47:11   should you should get some silly stuff [TS]

00:47:13   for the office and bob was like actually [TS]

00:47:16   lessons Prince Bob said you know you're [TS]

00:47:20   kidding me like like a fruit loops [TS]

00:47:22   dispenser precisely what ya almost that [TS]

00:47:25   silly but yet understand this is a man [TS]

00:47:27   who owned all his businesses in Florida [TS]

00:47:31   uh-huh right in Florida was as united [TS]

00:47:33   states rights stay any pretty much treat [TS]

00:47:35   people like states rights you know [TS]

00:47:36   servants and so with the idea of yes we [TS]

00:47:39   had a ping-pong table we had 88 in [TS]

00:47:42   electronic dartboard that made noises [TS]

00:47:44   mm-hmm and these were brought in and put [TS]

00:47:47   in in the middle of the room in the same [TS]

00:47:49   way you know it was it was what I mean [TS]

00:47:52   it was like it was like some kind of a [TS]

00:47:53   fat from the sixties kind of thing we [TS]

00:47:54   could get it you bring it in [TS]

00:47:56   nobody touches it just takes up space if [TS]

00:47:57   you're sitting there playing fucking [TS]

00:47:58   thing or Bob could hear the dartboard [TS]

00:48:00   going school are like you might as well [TS]

00:48:02   been sitting there doing bong hits in [TS]

00:48:03   the office you know but uh but so is [TS]

00:48:08   this job and you know i was already [TS]

00:48:09   making pretty pretty ok do for it but [TS]

00:48:12   like I was greedy and I wanted more and [TS]

00:48:14   because we had our comm you know IPO [TS]

00:48:16   cash out yet right and what I was able [TS]

00:48:18   to negotiate even though i did not have [TS]

00:48:20   any reports any direct reports no one [TS]

00:48:22   worked for me I did I was a web producer [TS]

00:48:25   and I did get a promotion to senior web [TS]

00:48:29   producer [TS]

00:48:29   yeah so me and the other web producer [TS]

00:48:31   but got to be senior producers even [TS]

00:48:33   though we were the only two web [TS]

00:48:34   producers right but that's the kind of [TS]

00:48:36   candy what is called High King of Kings [TS]

00:48:38   mmm that's so that's a you were you were [TS]

00:48:42   you're an art students count i think its [TS]

00:48:45   weak on whatever you know what I love [TS]

00:48:49   about you though i love that you know [TS]

00:48:51   all of this shit so well and no [TS]

00:48:53   seriously no no set aside your [TS]

00:48:55   mispronunciation I'm sorry to correct [TS]

00:48:56   you on that 1i fuck you mean I think you [TS]

00:48:59   mean pass the Dutchie but you've got you [TS]

00:49:03   so I don't know if I'm I'm getting this [TS]

00:49:04   right but it seems that you know fucking [TS]

00:49:07   shit tons about all of this stuff you in [TS]

00:49:09   your and you don't particularly love any [TS]

00:49:12   of it like you think it's probably silly [TS]

00:49:13   that there would be a Duke University [TS]

00:49:15   great what Fernanda just been a Duke we [TS]

00:49:18   have stayed out of trouble [TS]

00:49:20   oh well yeah probably if you just better [TS]

00:49:25   to he was you know he was next in line [TS]

00:49:26   just wrapped up right wasn't totally [TS]

00:49:28   trumped-up how do you mean well I don't [TS]

00:49:31   know anything much about Walker [TS]

00:49:32   1accepted the geography of your piece to [TS]

00:49:34   be much more interesting not before one [TS]

00:49:36   did more one you got a lot of [TS]

00:49:38   consolidation that was really confusing [TS]

00:49:39   and then we can go back to the last few [TS]

00:49:41   years right [TS]

00:49:42   oh well after world war one that was the [TS]

00:49:44   big point the big point of woodrow [TS]

00:49:47   wilson's like solution to your problem [TS]

00:49:50   multi-point plan as big as that's right [TS]

00:49:53   is 12-point plan was woodrow wilson at [TS]

00:49:57   the end of the war said here's the [TS]

00:49:58   problem with the world all these [TS]

00:50:01   different groups of people all these [TS]

00:50:02   ethnicities don't have autonomy they [TS]

00:50:04   don't rule their own countries and so [TS]

00:50:06   we're going to [TS]

00:50:08   we're going to give everybody like [TS]

00:50:11   authority over themselves that was his [TS]

00:50:13   house his initial idea and of course [TS]

00:50:16   everyone else on the victorious side in [TS]

00:50:19   world war one did not like that idea at [TS]

00:50:21   all and they kind of Thornton him but it [TS]

00:50:25   was the justification they used it as a [TS]

00:50:27   justification to do what they wanted [TS]

00:50:29   they perverted his idea and Wilson was a [TS]

00:50:32   was an innocent and so he just got [TS]

00:50:35   walked all over but before the war there [TS]

00:50:40   was no austria was awestruck [TS]

00:50:43   austro-hungary controlled all of Central [TS]

00:50:45   Europe and they just dismantled it they [TS]

00:50:47   just took it apart they took hungary [TS]

00:50:49   absolutely part they gave part of [TS]

00:50:51   Hungary to Slovakia part of Hungary to [TS]

00:50:55   Ukraine part of hungry a big part of [TS]

00:50:57   hungry to Romania part of hungry too [TS]

00:51:00   became Yugoslavia part of Hungary and [TS]

00:51:04   they might have even given part of [TS]

00:51:06   hungry to Austria and France to France [TS]

00:51:08   got sliced up like a fucking birthday [TS]

00:51:09   cake right well they want me don't you [TS]

00:51:12   have things like saxony or you've got a [TS]

00:51:14   sexy but you gotta like alone which is [TS]

00:51:16   kind of German kind of French right [TS]

00:51:18   strasburg went back and forth many many [TS]

00:51:22   times after world war one that that area [TS]

00:51:24   went back to France and then the Germans [TS]

00:51:28   wanted it back in world war two was a [TS]

00:51:30   big part of part you know when you when [TS]

00:51:32   you talk to people in Hungary about [TS]

00:51:34   World War two [TS]

00:51:35   it's the it's the most amazing kind of [TS]

00:51:37   cultural disconnect because every you [TS]

00:51:41   think coming from America you think [TS]

00:51:43   everybody's got the same story about [TS]

00:51:45   World War to write the Germans were bad [TS]

00:51:48   and then we all fought them the end [TS]

00:51:51   right I'm it it's a it's a it's a story [TS]

00:51:54   that we have talked to us from the very [TS]

00:51:57   beginning and end it you don't really [TS]

00:52:00   even have space in your American mind [TS]

00:52:03   for for many different narratives but [TS]

00:52:05   there are so many different stories [TS]

00:52:07   about world war two depending on where [TS]

00:52:08   you are and the Hungarians think of [TS]

00:52:11   world war two as being a very very very [TS]

00:52:14   minor [TS]

00:52:16   episode relative to world war one which [TS]

00:52:19   is the big war to them and world war two [TS]

00:52:22   is just a continuation of it because [TS]

00:52:25   Hitler went to the Hungarians and said [TS]

00:52:26   I'm going to give you back all the all [TS]

00:52:28   the land that they took from you and the [TS]

00:52:31   Hungarians were like whatever you say [TS]

00:52:33   because we are still really pissed about [TS]

00:52:35   this when everybody's got it's almost [TS]

00:52:38   like you know if you go back far enough [TS]

00:52:40   is setting something on history is [TS]

00:52:42   written by the victors or whatever I can [TS]

00:52:44   you know you can you're not taking [TS]

00:52:45   account stuff like what like Armenians [TS]

00:52:47   and in Turks you're not taking into [TS]

00:52:49   account linking all of these really [TS]

00:52:51   really giant uh things that just [TS]

00:52:54   affected millions and millions of people [TS]

00:52:55   that everybody has it isn't like [TS]

00:52:57   somebody 10 like you say Hitler Hitler [TS]

00:53:00   was good and there's bad i mean it is [TS]

00:53:01   very nuanced many people who worked at [TS]

00:53:03   BWW probably thought it was pretty great [TS]

00:53:05   em right well and also the Germans that [TS]

00:53:09   lived in the czech republic or lived in [TS]

00:53:11   the check part of Czechoslovakia oh yeah [TS]

00:53:14   they feel like they're going home huh [TS]

00:53:15   yeah they were like career my friend's [TS]

00:53:18   name my friend grant who is from and by [TS]

00:53:20   the way I'm this week i will have to [TS]

00:53:21   change this into the history section [TS]

00:53:23   from philosophy and we're going to do [TS]

00:53:24   that every week I might do that but [TS]

00:53:26   grant i'm gonna set the grant grant my [TS]

00:53:28   first met him you know 1986's like oh [TS]

00:53:30   yeah you felt South Africa you guys must [TS]

00:53:32   really love the ANC he's like well [TS]

00:53:34   actually a lot of the people you know [TS]

00:53:38   think of them as a terrorist [TS]

00:53:39   organization because a lot of what they [TS]

00:53:41   did was blowing things [TS]

00:53:43   it isn't that we think you know it isn't [TS]

00:53:46   that you know we're sitting here why [TS]

00:53:47   people and we we love or hate black [TS]

00:53:49   people it's a lot more complicated and [TS]

00:53:51   that's because you might be really [TS]

00:53:53   pulling for apartheid to go away but [TS]

00:53:55   then you're shit gets blown up a lot [TS]

00:53:57   more do it than that [TS]

00:53:58   yeah i mean the the politics in south [TS]

00:54:01   africa that that keeps me up at night [TS]

00:54:04   there's so much to so much to not [TS]

00:54:07   understand about that about that part of [TS]

00:54:10   the world you know who I blame and can [TS]

00:54:12   be honest the Dutch Wow one of the [TS]

00:54:15   numerous reasons i do not want to get [TS]

00:54:16   started on the Dutch strong words i keep [TS]

00:54:19   thinking about that lady in the window I [TS]

00:54:20   really haunts me like I'm sure as I [TS]

00:54:22   imagined it haunts you and your lady [TS]

00:54:24   number two I don't bring this up again [TS]

00:54:25   but your lady number two from Amsterdam [TS]

00:54:27   yeah [TS]

00:54:28   once we're gonna talk about besides been [TS]

00:54:29   pinched nerve there was one other thing [TS]

00:54:31   we're going to talk about I don't take [TS]

00:54:32   my pensioner but there was something [TS]

00:54:34   else we're going to talk about tubas [TS]

00:54:35   tubas the one with the notecards yeah [TS]

00:54:38   yeah well you know I've been trying to [TS]

00:54:40   listen listen carefully don't write it [TS]

00:54:41   all down trains on time [TS]

00:54:43   Virginians yeah according to that book [TS]

00:54:45   picking richmond is the capital was kind [TS]

00:54:46   of a weird idea but it was it was hard [TS]

00:54:48   to defend but you know then [TS]

00:54:49   and again in Richmond let you know what [TS]

00:54:51   we should talk about poop but I don't [TS]

00:54:56   mind hotels that did the side sometimes [TS]

00:54:58   think too much about hotels but you know [TS]

00:55:00   if you're you know what I like I like a [TS]

00:55:02   place i like i like a marriott i love a [TS]

00:55:04   marriott I you know one sure there's [TS]

00:55:06   going to be bad marriott's bad [TS]

00:55:07   everything is run by mormons given [TS]

00:55:09   answers that big portrait of the two [TS]

00:55:10   Mormons in every marriott I hadn't [TS]

00:55:12   noticed that i hardly ever stadium area [TS]

00:55:14   is that right where do you like to stay [TS]

00:55:15   well you know I've been turned into [TS]

00:55:18   these Clinton hotels recently cleaned up [TS]

00:55:21   it clinically Clinton Clinton it's they [TS]

00:55:24   run all the hotels where you walk in and [TS]

00:55:27   there's like a there's not just one [TS]

00:55:29   superfluous to shaped fuck pillow there [TS]

00:55:33   like four at 0 UT it's a boutique hotel [TS]

00:55:37   boutique hotel with for free fuck [TS]

00:55:39   billows per room and some kind of it's [TS]

00:55:42   not it's not quite ironic art but it's [TS]

00:55:45   like a framed tarot card on the wall oh [TS]

00:55:48   god it looks like oh god what's that [TS]

00:55:51   magazine where it's all horizontal wood [TS]

00:55:54   well it looks like 12 it's not that's [TS]

00:55:57   the thing it's not dwell because there [TS]

00:56:00   are too many for pillows it's a it's [TS]

00:56:02   like baroque baroque dwell right so it's [TS]

00:56:06   just blew my mind so first fathers and [TS]

00:56:08   there's if there is a definitely a [TS]

00:56:09   tubular fuck pillow indicator where you [TS]

00:56:12   can walk in the night we know you enjoy [TS]

00:56:13   a pillow and and so you can go in there [TS]

00:56:16   first father's these pills all over the [TS]

00:56:17   bed and so that's part of what [TS]

00:56:18   distinguishes alcohol as architectural [TS]

00:56:20   is a level service you see on the [TS]

00:56:21   homepage there is a picture of a man [TS]

00:56:23   very happily drizzling honey from a very [TS]

00:56:25   high height under what looks like a [TS]

00:56:27   lobster leg and it's super creepy hula [TS]

00:56:30   captain it's kimpton hotels and [TS]

00:56:33   restaurants captain captain yeah so it's [TS]

00:56:35   a chain of like I [TS]

00:56:37   a boutique II boutique hotels is it the [TS]

00:56:41   w kind of thing where they get a [TS]

00:56:43   urine-soaked hobos hotel and then clean [TS]

00:56:45   up with some green apples [TS]

00:56:46   yeah that's the same thing sometimes [TS]

00:56:48   they'll have a bust of a of Benjamin [TS]

00:56:51   Franklin but they'll paint it orange [TS]

00:56:52   they took an eternity race what Lauren [TS]

00:56:57   says it is it is it all your weight is [TS]

00:57:00   this is Mae right may the month [TS]

00:57:03   yeah well right now I get good because i [TS]

00:57:05   can i can say it I i want silence my [TS]

00:57:07   visit postmodern how you feel about [TS]

00:57:11   postmodern I don't even know you know [TS]

00:57:13   when you just said that I don't even [TS]

00:57:15   know what that means anymore i think i [TS]

00:57:17   ever knew it you just used to feel like [TS]

00:57:19   I really knew what that meant [TS]

00:57:21   of course she did but I you just said [TS]

00:57:23   that in that way and i'm just i don't [TS]

00:57:25   have any idea what postmodern means [TS]

00:57:27   anymore [TS]

00:57:28   I i I'm not sure I knew what it meant in [TS]

00:57:33   1988 but I'm definitely sure I don't [TS]

00:57:35   know what it means now I think that it [TS]

00:57:37   doesn't mean anything i think it's like [TS]

00:57:39   farfegnugen can bring you can be perfect [TS]

00:57:42   nude means the joy of driving and yeah [TS]

00:57:44   but I mean that's a pretty fucking [TS]

00:57:46   elastic resource John but what about [TS]

00:57:49   hospital about hospitality on it was it [TS]

00:57:51   like hospitality on oh you know i don't [TS]

00:57:52   think i ever knew and hospitality ah no [TS]

00:57:54   means but I i did I you know what builds [TS]

00:57:57   very recently I've never been to Miami [TS]

00:57:58   who is that considered a hot seat of [TS]

00:58:01   hospitality know what would you call me [TS]

00:58:04   i don't know what hospitality and I was [TS]

00:58:07   hospitality i know i think is the spirit [TS]

00:58:09   of what they would like you to think [TS]

00:58:11   you're getting an olive garden oh it's [TS]

00:58:15   an all of garden is an olive garden [TS]

00:58:17   thing and as my friend remember which [TS]

00:58:19   one of my friends I think was a plaid [TS]

00:58:20   but somebody recently pointed out i had [TS]

00:58:22   never noticed this in 20-some years of [TS]

00:58:24   going to olive garden in your head can [TS]

00:58:26   you imagine what the sign / logo looks [TS]

00:58:29   like it says olive garden and kind of [TS]

00:58:32   like green letters always surrounded on [TS]

00:58:35   all lovey write your ticket scholars [TS]

00:58:37   right you know you're fucking grapes [TS]

00:58:40   uh-huh so think about that for a minute [TS]

00:58:43   whoa mhm and olive garden [TS]

00:58:46   mhm there are no all of c-notes [TS]

00:58:49   front know it's got a good i'm looking [TS]

00:58:51   now at the internet website for them my [TS]

00:58:53   god this place now let me just say yeah [TS]

00:58:56   you may heart you might find this hard [TS]

00:58:57   to believe but i have only ever been to [TS]

00:59:00   the olive garden one time you're [TS]

00:59:02   dangerously close to that guy right now [TS]

00:59:04   i know i don't know the TV turns out it [TS]

00:59:09   turns out it's something I need to [TS]

00:59:10   really know about the thing and olive [TS]

00:59:12   gardens are not uh they said there were [TS]

00:59:15   that I don't think there was an olive [TS]

00:59:16   garden in Alaska now in fact i know that [TS]

00:59:19   there wasn't because I we would have [TS]

00:59:20   gone to it it would have been more [TS]

00:59:21   costly there in Hawaii anyway but you [TS]

00:59:24   know you know I you know I'm surprised [TS]

00:59:25   with you I mean you enjoy you enjoy a [TS]

00:59:27   hearty meal I do after I think I [TS]

00:59:29   mentioned this to you before when I was [TS]

00:59:30   in college we discovered something that [TS]

00:59:32   you could order when I say off-the-menu [TS]

00:59:34   I mean you know what would save on menu [TS]

00:59:38   as they would say in Germany you can [TS]

00:59:40   order salad and breadsticks was like six [TS]

00:59:43   bucks and was unlimited salad [TS]

00:59:44   breadsticks you get fucking ball of [TS]

00:59:46   alfredo sauce for a buck or two and four [TS]

00:59:48   like eight dollars you get free refills [TS]

00:59:50   and use it for four hours just getting [TS]

00:59:52   high on breadsticks and free salad [TS]

00:59:54   refills and putting out Fredo sauce on [TS]

00:59:56   your salad [TS]

00:59:57   no no you said a dipping sauce [TS]

00:59:57   no no you said a dipping sauce [TS]

01:00:00   I see are you just sitting here with a [TS]

01:00:01   spoon like a tablespoon now you dip your [TS]

01:00:03   bread stick in it BTW jerk [TS]

01:00:05   I'm just surprised because it seems to [TS]

01:00:07   me that you're a man who can't find my [TS]

01:00:08   say you're a man who can put away some [TS]

01:00:09   groceries and i don't mean in a cabinet [TS]

01:00:12   there's a place here in Seattle called a [TS]

01:00:15   what the hell is that called [TS]

01:00:17   mmm the Napoli to do italiano restaurant [TS]

01:00:23   is a chain 14 madura it's a chain one [TS]

01:00:26   where they have you know they serve a [TS]

01:00:28   big platters this of spaghetti [TS]

01:00:31   what's it called Beppo bit about that [TS]

01:00:34   but booka you do but Babu and I place [TS]

01:00:37   this shit happen but about that you look [TS]

01:00:40   nice that we have you look nice today [TS]

01:00:41   summit at the one here in town and it [TS]

01:00:42   was it was one of the silliest meals [TS]

01:00:43   I've ever had in my life [TS]

01:00:44   yeah just a fake high service thing yeah [TS]

01:00:47   yeah I'm we have I I've even marry few [TS]

01:00:50   times that's one that is the novel olive [TS]

01:00:52   garden equivalent yeah but it thinks [TS]

01:00:56   it's putting on airs [TS]

01:00:57   you know I think we're not olive garden [TS]

01:00:58   isn't putting on airs but that place was [TS]

01:01:00   when Adam and Scott and I went it was [TS]

01:01:02   really expensive and had that you don't [TS]

01:01:06   even get me started on the fucking fake [TS]

01:01:07   high surface thing it makes me a plastic [TS]

01:01:09   but i really hate that whole house the [TS]

01:01:11   moon was gonna get you anything yeah how [TS]

01:01:13   about you three Phil literally [TS]

01:01:15   everything on the table [TS]

01:01:16   how about you how about you just bring [TS]

01:01:18   me more of everything without saying a [TS]

01:01:20   word that's what I'd like more of a [TS]

01:01:22   dickhead [TS]

01:01:23   yeah they do the depo they do the thing [TS]

01:01:26   where as their seating you they walk you [TS]

01:01:28   through the kitchen [TS]

01:01:29   how come on has a kind of like mr. [TS]

01:01:32   Sinatra let's take a walk through the [TS]

01:01:34   kitchen and I'll show you you know show [TS]

01:01:36   you where the the raviolis could made me [TS]

01:01:38   call you the tracking shot at hear me [TS]

01:01:41   yeah exactly [TS]

01:01:42   Peter you're made to feel like hey get a [TS]

01:01:46   table in design a look at the young yeah [TS]

01:01:48   it actually selling that's because the [TS]

01:01:54   floor is just is that it's just worn [TS]

01:01:56   down into a trough from all that after [TS]

01:01:59   the value of these tourists walking [TS]

01:02:02   through the quoting jug table up front [TS]

01:02:04   yeah because you know what I really what [TS]

01:02:06   I really want to know is that a lot of [TS]

01:02:08   strangers have passed where my food is [TS]

01:02:10   being made [TS]

01:02:11   yeah we're walking through there just [TS]

01:02:13   sneezing didn't make you wash your hands [TS]

01:02:15   before you go in [TS]

01:02:16   no no it's like right inside the front [TS]

01:02:18   door lock that like if you're if you're [TS]

01:02:20   like if you're like a dim sum place and [TS]

01:02:22   you need to go to the bathroom like we [TS]

01:02:24   don't really have a publication you know [TS]

01:02:25   but seriously i have explosive diarrhea [TS]

01:02:26   that was sure you gotta walk through the [TS]

01:02:28   kitchen right see that's fine that's why [TS]

01:02:30   I'm going there is a mop bucket that's [TS]

01:02:32   fine that's a real working kitchen they [TS]

01:02:34   have this they have this makes so that [TS]

01:02:35   you could you can't get your hands out [TS]

01:02:37   to touch the food it's one it's one of [TS]

01:02:39   those like and here is where Jefferson [TS]

01:02:42   slept kept keep moving keep moving you [TS]

01:02:44   know there's like a red have you seen [TS]

01:02:45   our orange Franklin but it's there's a [TS]

01:02:48   like a red velvet rope [TS]

01:02:50   you know John I know you don't feel it [TS]

01:02:52   strongly I suspect that you do not feel [TS]

01:02:54   anywhere near as strongly as i put their [TS]

01:02:55   you know all the things where you get [TS]

01:02:56   really heated up this is absolutely on [TS]

01:02:59   my list and it it makes me it makes me [TS]

01:03:00   completely crazy because you know it is [TS]

01:03:03   uniformly like a shitty hotel a shitty [TS]

01:03:06   chain hotel a shitty chain restaurant [TS]

01:03:08   will cut corners on every conceivable [TS]

01:03:10   thing and then act like they're doing [TS]

01:03:11   you a favor [TS]

01:03:12   mm you know it's all fucking microwaved [TS]

01:03:15   you know anyway have fucking people i [TS]

01:03:18   find it very hard to eat in a chain [TS]

01:03:19   restaurant but here in here in Seattle [TS]

01:03:22   so for instance there is no there is no [TS]

01:03:26   outback steakhouse or red lobster or [TS]

01:03:30   similar or a claim jumpers lame campers [TS]

01:03:36   any of those places there there are not [TS]

01:03:38   of those places in seattle proper but [TS]

01:03:41   they are all located just south of town [TS]

01:03:44   in the southcenter mall area [TS]

01:03:48   whatever you give a sclerotic make [TS]

01:03:49   stuffing tins what about what about that [TS]

01:03:54   one of what about DJ angina [TS]

01:03:58   yeah there's a there's a shares as [TS]

01:03:59   cherries there's a Terry's and there's [TS]

01:04:01   an apple [TS]

01:04:02   he is there's a Appleton's they're all [TS]

01:04:05   on the same road it's like on the walls [TS]

01:04:07   it's like an autumn alright you got all [TS]

01:04:09   the shitty like bourbon chicken places [TS]

01:04:11   all-in-one knowing one fucking pathetic [TS]

01:04:13   district exactly if it if you can tell [TS]

01:04:16   me the difference between a claim [TS]

01:04:17   jumpers and a Outback Steakhouse i will [TS]

01:04:19   put in with you but they're right next [TS]

01:04:21   to each other and have like an Outback [TS]

01:04:24   Steakhouse but Mr well you know you walk [TS]

01:04:26   into an Outback Steakhouse and its exact [TS]

01:04:28   same thing that's the girls like hi [TS]

01:04:31   welcome to the place it down now can i [TS]

01:04:33   what is the first load of shit i can [TS]

01:04:36   sell you rein it in the next 45 minutes [TS]

01:04:38   where I'm going to be super friendly to [TS]

01:04:41   you as I try and force bloomin onions [TS]

01:04:43   onions yes and and upgrade you to a mud [TS]

01:04:46   pie milkshake and then get you the fuck [TS]

01:04:48   out of here so I can get another load of [TS]

01:04:50   fat floor 14 chapter four turnovers [TS]

01:04:52   tonight [TS]

01:04:53   yeah fair dinkum and so you know going [TS]

01:04:56   into those places it's just like I just [TS]

01:04:58   bored it's more damage to my psyche then [TS]

01:05:01   I mean the food is a terrible i mean i [TS]

01:05:03   eat up stake at outback steakhouse [TS]

01:05:04   whatever but but yeah that'll Seattle [TS]

01:05:08   buddy I don't keep bringing this up but [TS]

01:05:10   you know first of all we are family that [TS]

01:05:11   needs to come to Seattle and visit you [TS]

01:05:12   busted too but you know I'm gonna give [TS]

01:05:15   you a letter and her to fix el gaucho [TS]

01:05:17   and we got articles actually got a [TS]

01:05:20   gaucho oh my god i was out the other [TS]

01:05:22   night with the some mutual friends of [TS]

01:05:25   yours and mine some rock positions and [TS]

01:05:28   how they still a mutual friends [TS]

01:05:30   yeah absolutely in fact your name came [TS]

01:05:31   up a with one of the mutual friends he [TS]

01:05:34   was like I'm gonna call Merlin I'll i [TS]

01:05:35   miss Merlin ah yeah yeah but we were we [TS]

01:05:39   were we just got out of the movie we [TS]

01:05:40   went to see The Avengers at the big at [TS]

01:05:42   the big Paul Allen owned superplex all [TS]

01:05:45   have to want the funny letters he took a [TS]

01:05:47   picture of the simpsons cinerama [TS]

01:05:49   panorama right and we we were out on the [TS]

01:05:54   street it was like a there were four [TS]

01:05:56   guys four for bachelor guys out on the [TS]

01:05:58   road let's get some steaks and I said [TS]

01:06:01   let's go to work out but it was not [TS]

01:06:02   could go down culture so we went up to [TS]

01:06:06   this one of these new fancy restaurants [TS]

01:06:09   where the waitresses have neck tattoos [TS]

01:06:12   but but the stakes are like $45 this is [TS]

01:06:18   this is the universe itself [TS]

01:06:21   I mean obviously it's a new thing it's [TS]

01:06:23   like all right I get you where you're [TS]

01:06:25   coming from I guess I had a $45 take it [TS]

01:06:29   at at twelve o'clock at night and it was [TS]

01:06:33   no el gaucho there was no man in a [TS]

01:06:35   tuxedo who's cooking that steak on a [TS]

01:06:37   cigar [TS]

01:06:39   ok i'll show how does it compare to 13 [TS]

01:06:43   coins 13 coins that are they going [TS]

01:06:45   downhill house it's mostly rappers there [TS]

01:06:47   and then the middle and I 13 coins right [TS]

01:06:49   13 coins that is definitely like a the [TS]

01:06:52   clientele is it is part of the fun but [TS]

01:06:55   but which isn't get you can get a full [TS]

01:06:58   like fake fancy meal at x three in the [TS]

01:07:01   morning right through the more you get [TS]

01:07:03   steak Oscar with the with crab and they [TS]

01:07:06   weren't wearing tuxedos and suits and [TS]

01:07:07   stuff right and so it's the 13 coins is [TS]

01:07:10   the is the go-to if you're if it for me [TS]

01:07:12   if I want to bring somebody from out of [TS]

01:07:14   town and show them a restaurant where at [TS]

01:07:17   three in the morning if you make it gets [TS]

01:07:19   you can get steak Sinatra with fried [TS]

01:07:22   clams and and cheese board over it while [TS]

01:07:28   the guy sitting at the table next to you [TS]

01:07:29   is wearing a pink suit with Dora this is [TS]

01:07:35   the guy the boots are very private you [TS]

01:07:36   can see who's in a booth until you're [TS]

01:07:38   right next to it and staring into the [TS]

01:07:40   booth is very awkward but it will [TS]

01:07:41   frequently be like a small entourage [TS]

01:07:44   that is obviously there with somebody [TS]

01:07:46   who is or considers himself a wrapper [TS]

01:07:48   around ya rapper or Lord star maps the [TS]

01:07:52   sex professional management professional [TS]

01:07:54   management sex management professional [TS]

01:07:56   yeah you often see girls in in very tall [TS]

01:07:59   lucite shoes right I'm ringside shoes [TS]

01:08:02   that actually have live goldfish and [TS]

01:08:04   they still do that case don't do that i [TS]

01:08:06   don't know i'm sure i've always wanted a [TS]

01:08:07   pair of everything with you like I think [TS]

01:08:09   maybe twice and I'm I'm always really [TS]

01:08:12   really struck and but there is very [TS]

01:08:14   civil [TS]

01:08:15   yeah everybody's everybody's on their [TS]

01:08:17   best behavior but it but lately i have [TS]

01:08:19   felt the the quality of the food has [TS]

01:08:21   declined from its former glory of [TS]

01:08:25   one quart of half and half off [TS]

01:08:27   everything oh I'd love it [TS]

01:08:31   I'd like a like a Spanish omelet please [TS]

01:08:34   alright let's put a quart of half and [TS]

01:08:37   half and you know it's beautiful there [TS]

01:08:38   they have a half part is it's half beef [TS]

01:08:40   and literally have a cream but it's like [TS]

01:08:42   a two ways huh [TS]

01:08:44   I I feel like there's they've started to [TS]

01:08:46   skimp on the half an hour that's no good [TS]

01:08:48   yeah but i but I that could have just [TS]

01:08:50   been an off night how to compare to 21 [TS]

01:08:52   and neck tattoo jazz [TS]

01:08:54   well the thing about neck tattoo jose i [TS]

01:08:56   walked in this is this is the thing [TS]

01:08:58   about Capitol Hill you walk into a place [TS]

01:09:00   and why wasn't i wasn't my foot wasn't [TS]

01:09:03   even in the door before somebody was [TS]

01:09:04   like John hey you know I'm so I'm [TS]

01:09:07   walking down the middle because that's [TS]

01:09:09   just simply because your rock and roll [TS]

01:09:11   celebrity because that's like your old [TS]

01:09:12   neighborhood the old neighborhood and if [TS]

01:09:14   it's if it's a new restaurant with $45 [TS]

01:09:16   takes and the waitresses have neck [TS]

01:09:17   tattoos [TS]

01:09:18   it's a pretty safe bet that that's going [TS]

01:09:20   to be full of people didn't they [TS]

01:09:22   probably know and/or hate you [TS]

01:09:23   yeah you know actually a very [TS]

01:09:25   interesting experience later on at night [TS]

01:09:27   who I was standing out in front of a of [TS]

01:09:30   a rock club and people were pouring out [TS]

01:09:32   and a little group of people gathered [TS]

01:09:34   who decided that they were they actually [TS]

01:09:37   constituted a club which was the I hate [TS]

01:09:41   John Roderick club [TS]

01:09:42   there's our little like fear for guys [TS]

01:09:44   were like we all hate you but they uh [TS]

01:09:47   they just said they would they leave [TS]

01:09:49   they wouldn't go away they stood there [TS]

01:09:52   and wanted attention that's so creepy [TS]

01:09:54   i wiII you know we're mad at you i don't [TS]

01:09:56   like that time what you're talking about [TS]

01:09:59   that's the real talk about this before [TS]

01:10:01   the I know everything you like to do to [TS]

01:10:02   reach the creepy email like I get this [TS]

01:10:05   at that place's and it's like the person [TS]

01:10:07   who's like hey how's it going [TS]

01:10:08   we know everything you do and here's for [TS]

01:10:10   jokes about that but your dick [TS]

01:10:12   yeah well it's really really nice [TS]

01:10:15   meeting you but I have to go kill myself [TS]

01:10:17   in another part of the building right [TS]

01:10:19   now but I'm gonna here's the thing [TS]

01:10:21   though this is really it's great to meet [TS]

01:10:23   you I'm so glad you've taken the time [TS]

01:10:24   but I'm going to find a stroke in a [TS]

01:10:26   minute and i would like you to go get [TS]

01:10:28   fake help and I'm going to run away cuz [TS]

01:10:30   it wasn't a stroke [TS]

01:10:30   in your insane yeah that's nice now the [TS]

01:10:33   thing is John here's the thing in all [TS]

01:10:35   boils but to say something like I said [TS]

01:10:37   it has been set turns out [TS]

01:10:39   turns out it has been said not by me [TS]

01:10:42   let's put it this way [TS]

01:10:43   yeah I i'm talking about women but i'm [TS]

01:10:46   gonna say it's all about all people that [TS]

01:10:47   sometimes people people one way that you [TS]

01:10:50   can you can get to somebody whether it's [TS]

01:10:52   to make them pay attention to you this [TS]

01:10:54   is a classic kind of those fucktards in [TS]

01:10:56   the seduction community all you don't [TS]

01:10:58   have to make somebody like you or love [TS]

01:11:01   you you just have to make somebody feel [TS]

01:11:03   strongly about you [TS]

01:11:05   mmm this is this is one thing and this [TS]

01:11:07   is probably way so many women have the [TS]

01:11:08   have the terrible taste to be to be [TS]

01:11:10   obsessed with you [TS]

01:11:11   Emmy for everybody involved it's a [TS]

01:11:13   terrible terrible idea to be obsessed [TS]

01:11:14   with you but you know I'm saying and you [TS]

01:11:16   certainly had this experience you know i [TS]

01:11:18   mean because a lot of people will trust [TS]

01:11:22   me you try and read and reach a person [TS]

01:11:24   by saying oh I'm going to give you this [TS]

01:11:25   one pole of the feeling strong thing I'm [TS]

01:11:27   trying to make you love me but the thing [TS]

01:11:29   is you know the opposite of love is [TS]

01:11:31   indifference you know it's not hate [TS]

01:11:33   right and so if you make somebody but [TS]

01:11:35   you get somebody good fucking man in [TS]

01:11:36   this case you got these you guys get [TS]

01:11:38   these little motorcycle boys out here [TS]

01:11:39   trying to act all tough about you but [TS]

01:11:41   know what you really you're going to [TS]

01:11:42   fucking have like a human with John [TS]

01:11:44   Roderick haters club like that takes a [TS]

01:11:47   lot of goddamn work what are you the [TS]

01:11:48   secretary/treasurer of your pants [TS]

01:11:51   asshole but take that fucking hat would [TS]

01:11:54   you be doing the problem with the jar [TS]

01:11:56   aggregators club is that the purpose of [TS]

01:11:58   your focus of your anger in this case [TS]

01:12:01   nominally John Roderick doesn't care [TS]

01:12:04   exactly so yeah that's right yes [TS]

01:12:07   yeah you know what if I had any idea who [TS]

01:12:09   you are i might have to consider whether [TS]

01:12:12   this is something i need to think i'm [TS]

01:12:15   pretty sure this is not going to impede [TS]

01:12:16   my progress down the sidewalk it's like [TS]

01:12:18   it's like a cat is the cat the cat is [TS]

01:12:20   like plz notice me so I can ignore you [TS]

01:12:22   know the cat comes into the room and [TS]

01:12:24   will not be happy until you notice it so [TS]

01:12:26   that it can then transitively ignore you [TS]

01:12:28   and that the same thing with these [TS]

01:12:29   little boys how old are they [TS]

01:12:31   these animal indie-rockers oh no no I [TS]

01:12:34   bit young indie-rockers don't don't [TS]

01:12:37   the young entry in New Yorkers are are [TS]

01:12:39   mostly respectful not usually as you [TS]

01:12:41   like they're orange Franklin yeah that's [TS]

01:12:42   right these are the [TS]

01:12:43   middle-aged indie-rockers who have lived [TS]

01:12:46   long enough to imagine that they have [TS]

01:12:48   some beef with me [TS]

01:12:50   they then I did something to them at [TS]

01:12:52   this point oh they're trying they're [TS]

01:12:54   trying to make you steam [TS]

01:12:55   well they're just trying they're trying [TS]

01:12:57   to express the thing they're trying to [TS]

01:12:59   express the like the I remember when [TS]

01:13:04   your band opened for my band energy [TS]

01:13:08   oh that is not what I expect I'm sorry I [TS]

01:13:11   apologize i thought these were going to [TS]

01:13:13   be kids in skinny jeans you're talking [TS]

01:13:15   about about people who have profound [TS]

01:13:16   personal problems and they smell like [TS]

01:13:18   cats and other people think the young [TS]

01:13:20   kids in skinny jeans they come up and [TS]

01:13:22   give me one white rose [TS]

01:13:24   I mean they're very they're all very [TS]

01:13:26   good you know that even if it has a [TS]

01:13:29   simple as a symbol of the evidence of [TS]

01:13:31   the French Resistance right yeah you [TS]

01:13:32   think even if they go home and they're [TS]

01:13:33   like you know mad about music or [TS]

01:13:37   something like that they appreciate that [TS]

01:13:40   you are you where you consider an elder [TS]

01:13:41   statesman in seattle going on i'm [TS]

01:13:42   genuinely an old man to them get out [TS]

01:13:45   there just like Oh swami you know oh [TS]

01:13:48   hello old person here is a I brought you [TS]

01:13:51   a flower [TS]

01:13:52   it's like Dylan going to visit Woody [TS]

01:13:54   Guthrie yeah no it's just the old it's [TS]

01:13:56   just the like the the guys that are 35 [TS]

01:13:58   to 45 who I have been playing guitar for [TS]

01:14:02   a long time some of them have been very [TS]

01:14:05   successful but for whatever reason they [TS]

01:14:08   feel like it isn't even a case where I [TS]

01:14:10   stole their girlfriend it's just a case [TS]

01:14:11   of like I shouldn't I shouldn't have I [TS]

01:14:15   shouldn't be entitled to be the way I am [TS]

01:14:17   let me just be clear should be there are [TS]

01:14:19   people whose girlfriends I have stolen i [TS]

01:14:22   just want to be very clear that this is [TS]

01:14:23   not the case here probably not the case [TS]

01:14:26   now while you're your dining partner can [TS]

01:14:28   you imagine how it must be for him [TS]

01:14:29   because it's so it becomes so hip to you [TS]

01:14:32   know and don't eat enough the kids say [TS]

01:14:34   hip anymore they probably say you know [TS]

01:14:35   you know it's delicious or something ok [TS]

01:14:39   hit but they but when they accidentally [TS]

01:14:40   put like seven P's of the end you see I [TS]

01:14:45   could see them actually having won t but [TS]

01:14:47   then it's all lower case and has 14 [TS]

01:14:48   inches announce them doing that [TS]

01:14:51   have you noticed this about you know i [TS]

01:14:53   don't i don't understand what is so [TS]

01:14:55   fucking hard about using [TS]

01:14:57   in this case yeah nothing about multiple [TS]

01:14:59   letters multiple letters sticks they're [TS]

01:15:01   doing this thing where they were every [TS]

01:15:03   word has like so a word like hip which [TS]

01:15:07   has three letters they write it with 15 [TS]

01:15:10   letters but they're all just hhhh iiii [TS]

01:15:13   people but it doesn't it is I don't [TS]

01:15:16   think mint condition like a rage comic [TS]

01:15:19   by no I don't think it is i don't think [TS]

01:15:22   it's me yeah is that nobody hit the [TS]

01:15:24   pop-up damn it sounds like you're [TS]

01:15:27   describing the medical privacy law [TS]

01:15:29   Piplup haha i don't understand it but I [TS]

01:15:32   see it all the time now [TS]

01:15:33   yeah the young people and but when you [TS]

01:15:36   talk to them they speak like normal you [TS]

01:15:37   is that I i think that's it I gotta tell [TS]

01:15:39   you I I never saw this coming John I [TS]

01:15:40   think it was a tough transition but I [TS]

01:15:42   I'm so happy to be at a point where you [TS]

01:15:43   look down my nose at this stuff [TS]

01:15:45   it feels so good it feels so it's like [TS]

01:15:47   becoming you know they say a lot of [TS]

01:15:48   women don't really discover their time [TS]

01:15:50   so I'm gonna say when they see a lot of [TS]

01:15:51   people don't really discover their true [TS]

01:15:54   power in life until they stop being in [TS]

01:15:57   the game as based on their sexual [TS]

01:16:00   attraction that a lot of people that [TS]

01:16:03   when I mean women did they get super [TS]

01:16:05   powerful after they get like menopause [TS]

01:16:07   like you know what fuck everybody for [TS]

01:16:09   you and I'm totally i love that I love [TS]

01:16:11   that when women get to an age where [TS]

01:16:13   they're like rather than ones who were [TS]

01:16:14   like hanging out with lucite heels and [TS]

01:16:15   like pulling a face back like the lady [TS]

01:16:17   in Brazil you know yeah yeah yeah i like [TS]

01:16:19   i love the fuck you lady in her fifties [TS]

01:16:21   i fucking love that will see now this is [TS]

01:16:23   the problem maybe one of the problems [TS]

01:16:24   with being a guy is that that as you get [TS]

01:16:27   older as it as a hand particularly a man [TS]

01:16:30   with certain stature you get more [TS]

01:16:33   attractive huh [TS]

01:16:35   because you're your gray hair and wisdom [TS]

01:16:38   that's in your face but just to get [TS]

01:16:39   crazier makes you more appealing so [TS]

01:16:41   you're never free [TS]

01:16:42   you're never free of being yeah sexual [TS]

01:16:46   section how highly sexualized sexually [TS]

01:16:48   charged object of being a highly [TS]

01:16:49   sexually charged kind of statute you [TS]

01:16:51   need for that to really become a problem [TS]

01:16:52   more than I have I think you sandbagging [TS]

01:16:56   your sand bagging your stature I [TS]

01:16:58   thinking about you don't need a larger [TS]

01:16:59   stature I think you're I think your [TS]

01:17:01   problem if it's not a problem i think [TS]

01:17:02   your challenge is that you make a lot of [TS]

01:17:05   men and bye-bye men i mean people but [TS]

01:17:08   you make a lot of men feel strong [TS]

01:17:09   feeling [TS]

01:17:10   eggs and they may not understand their [TS]

01:17:11   strong feelings and confuse them they [TS]

01:17:13   say that a lot of lot of people by which [TS]

01:17:15   i mean women and men confuse their [TS]

01:17:17   strong emotions and therefore what kids [TS]

01:17:19   started hate can feel like love or my [TS]

01:17:22   school so you just blew my mind right [TS]

01:17:25   right in difficulties so this whole [TS]

01:17:28   group of people that's like I hate drama [TS]

01:17:29   club they all have chubbies yeah well I [TS]

01:17:32   mean you know as much as they can in [TS]

01:17:33   this tight pants you know what I mean [TS]

01:17:35   how do you have a club about [TS]

01:17:36   indifference i guess i'll be the Senate [TS]

01:17:39   a club out in different waka waka flocka [TS]

01:17:43   but what have you heard what are the [TS]

01:17:46   what is going on with these nut jobs in [TS]

01:17:49   Congress am i right haha Hotel soaps [TS]

01:17:53   really oh but you have to sound angry or [TS]

01:17:57   come on [TS]

01:17:58   so you're saying you're saying you could [TS]

01:18:01   take like a yelling match and by doing [TS]

01:18:03   in a slightly different tone of voice [TS]

01:18:05   you do beer turns into bad stand-up [TS]

01:18:07   comedy [TS]

01:18:08   yeah right like that for instance you [TS]

01:18:10   sent me this royal and no branks sure [TS]

01:18:12   now i'm gonna read it to you as though [TS]

01:18:15   I'm angry traditional ranked among [TS]

01:18:18   European royalty peers of nobility it's [TS]

01:18:21   rooted in late antiquity of the middle [TS]

01:18:23   and it's basically stand-up it it's [TS]

01:18:27   funny it all becomes stand-up comedy and [TS]

01:18:29   you just read something you read [TS]

01:18:31   anything or say anything like really mad [TS]

01:18:34   like somebody just hit your brand-new [TS]

01:18:35   car that's that's just stand up all the [TS]

01:18:38   bad symp i have historically thought [TS]

01:18:41   that the catchphrase and I've got to [TS]

01:18:43   stop looking at this that the olive [TS]

01:18:44   garden page has something called a [TS]

01:18:45   slider which is if you've ever seen as [TS]

01:18:47   you land on a webpage and as a picture [TS]

01:18:48   keeps changing and I think I might be [TS]

01:18:49   having up a good grand mal seizure know [TS]

01:18:52   what's the little grandma seizures that [TS]

01:18:53   her name was the other one was a little [TS]

01:18:55   seizure petite small amplitude mall see [TS]

01:18:57   what's the line it's French for orgasm [TS]

01:18:59   at your grandmas the teachers just under [TS]

01:19:01   to do and what's a petite mort seizure [TS]

01:19:03   there's a little guy that's the people [TS]

01:19:05   in the village which guy comes at the [TS]

01:19:07   ball [TS]

01:19:08   when you listen back you're gonna laugh [TS]

01:19:10   thats olive garden I thought [TS]

01:19:11   historically a friend [TS]

01:19:13   okay you're laughing on the inside [TS]

01:19:14   looking like a clown [TS]

01:19:16   which one is that the next Congress [TS]

01:19:19   that's a hundred gardens my back I have [TS]

01:19:21   such a pain in my back right now [TS]

01:19:22   olive garden I thought that their [TS]

01:19:25   catchphrase or their whatever their [TS]

01:19:26   service mark was hospitality on oh ! i'm [TS]

01:19:29   seeing now here on the page and this [TS]

01:19:32   with this epileptic website of theirs [TS]

01:19:34   ah this is the register trademark next [TS]

01:19:37   to their logo when you're here you're [TS]

01:19:38   family which i think it by extension [TS]

01:19:42   means and when you leave [TS]

01:19:43   fuck you in the eye on your family buddy [TS]

01:19:47   when you leave here [TS]

01:19:48   don't let the door hit your ass you know [TS]

01:19:50   well that's it that's why the trying to [TS]

01:19:51   get you out because while you're there [TS]

01:19:52   you're family you know it's all about [TS]

01:19:54   turnover second is removing the heart of [TS]

01:19:57   Galliano into into google just because [TS]

01:19:59   I've never i have no idea what this [TS]

01:20:01   means [TS]

01:20:02   first thing that comes up all the [TS]

01:20:04   hospitality know ! registered trademark [TS]

01:20:08   and i said i look at that goes to the oh [TS]

01:20:11   boy oh boy oh boy here is everything [TS]

01:20:14   that's wrong with almost everything [TS]

01:20:15   there's a hospitality are no mmmm that [TS]

01:20:20   sounds like the worst superkick ever [TS]

01:20:23   gotten oh man would you like more breath [TS]

01:20:25   fix it said in the urban dictionary that [TS]

01:20:28   you give somebody else patel iana oh ok [TS]

01:20:36   that you do you stick your finger into [TS]

01:20:38   their pasta and turn it around and all [TS]

01:20:39   your friends jumped out of the closet [TS]

01:20:41   mission on her chest and it goes [TS]

01:20:43   hospitality on oh and that a netting [TS]

01:20:46   ningun anything huh [TS]

01:20:48   now leave because you're not family [TS]

01:20:49   anymore well apparently hospitality know [TS]

01:20:51   is is a subset of authentic Conte what [TS]

01:20:56   is which is derogatory slang referring [TS]

01:20:58   to the average American commercial idea [TS]

01:21:00   of what mexican food should taste like [TS]

01:21:02   this olive garden Roberto echo that [TS]

01:21:05   where we are on an urban sure now [TS]

01:21:07   ok Conte and and hospitality on is a [TS]

01:21:11   subset of that along with Oliver cement [TS]

01:21:14   I don't even know what the car you [TS]

01:21:17   pronounce that so [TS]

01:21:19   pumpkin there that's it [TS]

01:21:23   no no we're done now Oh blumpkin [TS]