Roderick on the Line

Ep. 28: "The Sheriff of Twisp"


00:00:00   hello hi John has gone [TS]

00:00:08   hi Merlin oh god this is a labor of love [TS]

00:00:11   that you're even here that's gonna be [TS]

00:00:17   one of many coughs I think we should [TS]

00:00:20   stop right there that's so just that's [TS]

00:00:22   the whole show play pong [TS]

00:00:24   yeah now you're ill yeah I meal but that [TS]

00:00:28   is not an uncommon thing for me [TS]

00:00:31   in fact lately I've been better than [TS]

00:00:33   I've ever been in my life how circle [TS]

00:00:36   sick wise not mental health wise but I [TS]

00:00:39   used to get sick all the time he gets [TS]

00:00:41   the card i do i get really sick I get [TS]

00:00:44   super sick [TS]

00:00:46   yeah you're on you're almost [TS]

00:00:47   preternatural so we're pretty naturally [TS]

00:00:49   you're unbelievably strong is it that [TS]

00:00:52   doesn't actually is a word you [TS]

00:00:53   yeah i think im using it wrong you may [TS]

00:00:55   be using it wrong but it is a word [TS]

00:00:57   ok point taken you are you're so [TS]

00:00:59   supernaturally strong in so many ways [TS]

00:01:02   disturbingly strong really uh [TS]

00:01:04   irresponsibly strong in so many ways but [TS]

00:01:06   when it comes to getting sick you're a [TS]

00:01:07   total pussy [TS]

00:01:09   yeah i have several Achilles heels [TS]

00:01:11   because im hit im gonna let another [TS]

00:01:14   collection started because because I'm [TS]

00:01:16   six-legged have five Achilles heels and [TS]

00:01:21   one heel that works [TS]

00:01:23   yeah and-and-and a a bad immune system [TS]

00:01:26   is one of them I've always been [TS]

00:01:28   I've always been quick to catch the bug [TS]

00:01:31   me to on the same way I get cold sores I [TS]

00:01:35   get psoriasis and I got it all I should [TS]

00:01:37   be dead by now you know we you know it [TS]

00:01:39   up here in the northwest we call cold [TS]

00:01:41   sores stress bumps that is really it's a [TS]

00:01:45   bellingham thing because nobody wants to [TS]

00:01:47   admit that they have herpes so they have [TS]

00:01:50   a stress bump and telling him the column [TS]

00:01:51   agreement Alex [TS]

00:01:53   I'm not make you laugh right here [TS]

00:01:57   shooting no no it's fine [TS]

00:02:00   ah yeah as then I have you know i think [TS]

00:02:02   my lungs are my i am that's the part [TS]

00:02:06   that there Kelly lungs that's right [TS]

00:02:08   there my achilles lungs if you read The [TS]

00:02:10   Iliad there's a scene where Achilles is [TS]

00:02:13   leaping over the wall and any gets a [TS]

00:02:16   wheeze and he had he wheezes and that's [TS]

00:02:21   how they know where he is and then and [TS]

00:02:23   then shoot him in the heel [TS]

00:02:25   hey I wasn't that instead of classics [TS]

00:02:27   and memory serves me the reason for his [TS]

00:02:30   weakness is that when Moses mother kept [TS]

00:02:34   him into the my desk and she held him by [TS]

00:02:36   his long rights well see you've read the [TS]

00:02:39   book I remind you but you've seen the [TS]

00:02:40   movie at least yeah i saw Exodus we have [TS]

00:02:42   one Moses puts Achilles in the mudbath [TS]

00:02:45   she holds him by his long and that's why [TS]

00:02:49   is he'll never grew and then the other [TS]

00:02:53   place my things and some cucumber water [TS]

00:02:55   and a lucky magazine who sit on the [TS]

00:02:57   biosolids yeah yeah how much the Bible [TS]

00:03:00   of you reading the Bible yeah i read a [TS]

00:03:02   lot of it you know I because i went to [TS]

00:03:04   judgment school right and I showed up [TS]

00:03:07   there with a real chip on my shoulder [TS]

00:03:08   and I took an old testament class by [TS]

00:03:12   first quarter i'm sitting in the class [TS]

00:03:15   in the and the professor comes in and [TS]

00:03:18   he's a he's a he's a priest and he's an [TS]

00:03:20   overweight man and he's wearing he's [TS]

00:03:23   wearing his priestly garb but you can [TS]

00:03:26   tell from the it so it's all black it's [TS]

00:03:29   black clothes right but you can tell [TS]

00:03:30   from the accumulated dander on the shirt [TS]

00:03:35   its it's like he comes in and somebody [TS]

00:03:37   has been it like he had just left a [TS]

00:03:39   wedding where they didn't have rice to [TS]

00:03:41   throw they just had salt so he's he's [TS]

00:03:44   just he's covered in dander and I [TS]

00:03:46   realized over the course of the of the [TS]

00:03:48   quarter that he never changed his [TS]

00:03:50   clothes but he was it but he was a [TS]

00:03:53   brilliant guy any he came in and and he [TS]

00:03:56   said to the class you know his first [TS]

00:03:58   thing out of his mouth he said [TS]

00:03:59   how much of the Bible should we take as [TS]

00:04:04   as truth as best fact any on the room is [TS]

00:04:09   quiet and nobody knows what to do and [TS]

00:04:11   I'm sitting there with my already with [TS]

00:04:13   my feet up on the desk you know smug and [TS]

00:04:16   Brent presumptuous and just I was just [TS]

00:04:19   such a turd and I raised my hand and all [TS]

00:04:22   sardonically I'm like em I don't know [TS]

00:04:25   all of it even [TS]

00:04:27   mhm and he goes no in fact and proceeds [TS]

00:04:31   to make me feel like it like the tool [TS]

00:04:34   that I was says no in fact the Bible is [TS]

00:04:37   a collection of stories told by you know [TS]

00:04:41   told over generations [TS]

00:04:42   bye-bye people wandering the desert and [TS]

00:04:47   here's here's how we're going to take [TS]

00:04:48   this class and he starts to talk and i [TS]

00:04:50   SAT up in my chair and lean forward it [TS]

00:04:52   was like oh my goodness this this seems [TS]

00:04:55   really smart and I don't fit into that [TS]

00:04:57   class I was so I'm so thrilled to read [TS]

00:05:00   the Old Testament with with a priest who [TS]

00:05:03   was gonna walk me through it like it was [TS]

00:05:05   I like a history lesson [TS]

00:05:08   oh I still I I should go back there and [TS]

00:05:11   find that priest and and give him a dead [TS]

00:05:13   dandruff brush as a gift like an [TS]

00:05:16   embossed he's gotta be still alive he [TS]

00:05:18   was a pretty young guy that they live [TS]

00:05:20   pretty long this guy's they do because [TS]

00:05:22   they you know they had free food health [TS]

00:05:24   care free hand jobs [TS]

00:05:26   mhm subsidized anyway you know they all [TS]

00:05:29   live together there in the priests house [TS]

00:05:30   ooh so they don't need money there that [TS]

00:05:34   that's in Ruth's they talk about that [TS]

00:05:35   you know the thing is old testament it's [TS]

00:05:38   a six bit of a slog there's a lot of [TS]

00:05:40   repetition it could really it could have [TS]

00:05:42   really stood a second read through [TS]

00:05:44   before i went to press there's a lot lot [TS]

00:05:46   of extraneous stuff that was great about [TS]

00:05:48   this class because I you know as you [TS]

00:05:51   walk through life right you meet people [TS]

00:05:52   all the time they're like well I've read [TS]

00:05:54   the Quran and let me tell you this about [TS]

00:05:56   that when every one of those people that [TS]

00:05:59   says that is is a lying sack of shit no [TS]

00:06:01   one has read the quran because it's like [TS]

00:06:04   the old testament it's so boring if you [TS]

00:06:06   start at the front you start reading the [TS]

00:06:07   first page you just like Oh by four [TS]

00:06:11   pages in you [TS]

00:06:12   it took me [TS]

00:06:13   year 24 pages of the Koran but when you [TS]

00:06:17   when somebody's walking you through it [TS]

00:06:19   who knows all the good parts like you [TS]

00:06:21   know someone who is it who has studied [TS]

00:06:23   enough priestly stuff to be a judgment [TS]

00:06:25   this guy knew where all the good stuff [TS]

00:06:27   was here where all the sex was he knew [TS]

00:06:29   where all the turning points were and he [TS]

00:06:32   skipped he skipped by the genealogies [TS]

00:06:35   and all that stuff and just got like to [TS]

00:06:37   the heart of the manor [TS]

00:06:38   I wish I knew I wish I knew it well [TS]

00:06:40   enough to do that for someone else you [TS]

00:06:43   know to like give somebody a syllabus [TS]

00:06:45   about the whole Testament commentaries [TS]

00:06:46   that you do that in different walks of [TS]

00:06:48   life [TS]

00:06:48   I mean I think you give take people to [TS]

00:06:50   the interesting part sometimes i try i [TS]

00:06:52   had I take people to the interesting [TS]

00:06:54   parts of the of the Seattle um you know [TS]

00:06:59   where this where the sewers connect to [TS]

00:07:02   the power stations that analogy [TS]

00:07:04   something to take people down there [TS]

00:07:06   that's what I like to take people and [TS]

00:07:08   kill them and take them into the sewers [TS]

00:07:10   meet the power stations and was funny I [TS]

00:07:14   mean like if you're a student of [TS]

00:07:15   literature which you have a man but [TS]

00:07:17   literary art or literature that's what i [TS]

00:07:18   call in Florida better area Turcotte [TS]

00:07:20   literature [TS]

00:07:22   did you know you would never think like [TS]

00:07:24   oh I you know I read through i read this [TS]

00:07:27   short story i read where I'm calling [TS]

00:07:29   from once and now i'm a learned man but [TS]

00:07:32   you have to read a lot more than that [TS]

00:07:33   and you probably have to read that [TS]

00:07:34   several times if you're gonna consider [TS]

00:07:36   you somebody said so yourself someone [TS]

00:07:37   who really knows a lot about something [TS]

00:07:38   or consider yourself [TS]

00:07:40   let's say for the sake of argument you [TS]

00:07:41   know enough about something to judge [TS]

00:07:43   someone's life and afterlife me it would [TS]

00:07:46   behoove you and I'm not gonna talk about [TS]

00:07:48   religion but it would behoove you like [TS]

00:07:49   if you're any student you would want to [TS]

00:07:51   like you know learn your times tables [TS]

00:07:52   until you know it really well but it's [TS]

00:07:54   just funny [TS]

00:07:54   you can drop a reference to something [TS]

00:07:57   like the Old Testament or the new [TS]

00:07:59   testament or for that matter [TS]

00:08:01   Shakespeare the Constitution and just [TS]

00:08:02   because you've heard that thing he [TS]

00:08:04   suddenly sound like a learned person and [TS]

00:08:06   that's not even the beginning of the [TS]

00:08:07   learning apartment but all those things [TS]

00:08:08   that you mentioned Shakespeare's [TS]

00:08:11   Constitution and the Bible there are so [TS]

00:08:14   many references to them throughout all [TS]

00:08:18   other literature that you if you if you [TS]

00:08:22   get a just a just a girl [TS]

00:08:24   gasps of what the original text says [TS]

00:08:26   then you start to pick it out [TS]

00:08:28   you see it all the time it occurs [TS]

00:08:30   everywhere else right so you actually [TS]

00:08:33   can get a pretty good grip on the iliad [TS]

00:08:37   and the Old Testament by just by kind of [TS]

00:08:40   doing a cliff snows CliffsNotes reading [TS]

00:08:44   of it and then being aware when you see [TS]

00:08:46   it appear in other books you know [TS]

00:08:48   because people were people do refer to [TS]

00:08:50   it like for instance reading where I'm [TS]

00:08:53   calling from although it is a great work [TS]

00:08:56   you won't see it you won't see allusions [TS]

00:08:59   to it in all the other books you read [TS]

00:09:01   but you're going to see The Iliad come [TS]

00:09:03   up over and over you could you could [TS]

00:09:05   hear the phrase Achilles heel your whole [TS]

00:09:06   life and not realize it's from The Iliad [TS]

00:09:08   yeah we're here like why like pound of [TS]

00:09:10   flesh or blood on my hands all are you [TS]

00:09:13   know that the innumerable basically I [TS]

00:09:15   mean like if you ever read Hamlet all [TS]

00:09:16   the way through I've never read the [TS]

00:09:17   whole handling the whole Hamlet is [TS]

00:09:19   really really almost every Hamlet that [TS]

00:09:22   we read is a lot a lot short-short [TS]

00:09:25   Hamlet right well I can I did that that [TS]

00:09:28   version in the nineties or whatever that [TS]

00:09:31   was good because it was beautiful but it [TS]

00:09:32   was like his long yea yea and that's [TS]

00:09:35   that was even a little bit abridged but [TS]

00:09:38   Shakespeare's the same way you if it's [TS]

00:09:40   in everything and i find that that's [TS]

00:09:41   true [TS]

00:09:42   the first time I went to Hollywood right [TS]

00:09:44   you go to Hollywood and you're driving [TS]

00:09:46   around and you realize that I mean I had [TS]

00:09:49   never been to Southern California but I [TS]

00:09:52   knew it [TS]

00:09:53   every street sign every street corner [TS]

00:09:56   I know you know you get to Hollywood and [TS]

00:09:58   Vine you're like Hollywood and Vine I've [TS]

00:10:00   heard about this my whole life [TS]

00:10:02   first time you go to New York City I [TS]

00:10:04   read every street corner you stand on [TS]

00:10:06   you realize you've seen it in a movie [TS]

00:10:08   you've read about it in a book and so [TS]

00:10:10   that that familiarity with the would not [TS]

00:10:14   just the place names but like I know [TS]

00:10:16   what happened here this is the place [TS]

00:10:18   where the thing happened right right um [TS]

00:10:20   it makes New York and LA and Paris this [TS]

00:10:23   makes these places seem well like we all [TS]

00:10:26   own a little bit of them [TS]

00:10:28   there's a photograph this photograph of [TS]

00:10:31   me that is really really blurry for [TS]

00:10:34   reasons that will become a parent you [TS]

00:10:36   have a moment in a mustache you wearing [TS]

00:10:38   an army jacket i am yeah and you're [TS]

00:10:41   absolutely right you know you know the [TS]

00:10:42   era and he's not gone deep that the [TS]

00:10:44   antics of this is because of the great [TS]

00:10:45   era of merlin mann the moment the [TS]

00:10:47   mustache on the army jacket you seem to [TS]

00:10:49   traverse the world now yet again that [TS]

00:10:51   the mullet the mustache in the Army [TS]

00:10:53   check it again esop lot of people don't [TS]

00:10:55   know where that comes from [TS]

00:10:56   slow and steady slow and steady wins the [TS]

00:10:58   kebab I in our limited number of days [TS]

00:11:02   that we had in Manhattan this is how you [TS]

00:11:05   knew i shouldn'ta lost this one I said [TS]

00:11:08   my girlfriend we're going to go to this [TS]

00:11:09   place you're gonna take my picture and [TS]

00:11:10   so we got on the subway anyway it went [TS]

00:11:13   north north north north north and we got [TS]

00:11:16   scared and sort of electrical and 1250 [TS]

00:11:20   secondary more dead than alive had to [TS]

00:11:22   take my picture at Lexington 225th you [TS]

00:11:24   get off haha but I'm literally in motion [TS]

00:11:27   i stopped long enough to go there and [TS]

00:11:29   take the picture and then I started [TS]

00:11:30   running back into the subway [TS]

00:11:31   yeah this was what year that an STD I [TS]

00:11:34   got the photo somewhere in 1988 that [TS]

00:11:36   wasn't a good time to just like two [TS]

00:11:37   different like like you know like a [TS]

00:11:39   professionally made sign like for a [TS]

00:11:41   restaurant or store with misspellings on [TS]

00:11:42   it there's like this is you know this is [TS]

00:11:44   New York in the eighties this is not [TS]

00:11:45   this is pretty Giuliani you know being [TS]

00:11:48   outgoing thank you [TS]

00:11:49   there's giant pieces like the street you [TS]

00:11:51   like when they're like repairing the [TS]

00:11:52   street then I got fuck it and they bring [TS]

00:11:54   like a 44 inch piece feet thick piece of [TS]

00:11:57   steel sheet of Steel just like fucking [TS]

00:11:58   cover the street we're leaving its it [TS]

00:12:00   looks like Lebanon haha so I can't leave [TS]

00:12:04   you guessing that you haven't told you [TS]

00:12:05   that story before [TS]

00:12:06   that's amazing you would guess that so [TS]

00:12:08   fast whether you're talking about like [TS]

00:12:10   I'm going up i'm going up i'm going up [TS]

00:12:12   and I'm like well what's up there the [TS]

00:12:13   merlons not going to the Apollo probably [TS]

00:12:16   to stand out front said stand out front [TS]

00:12:18   with your tap shoes and be like I'm [TS]

00:12:20   ready for my audition like the violent [TS]

00:12:22   offense now been out there and ya go [TS]

00:12:24   together at the Cotton Club well so many [TS]

00:12:28   years later I lived there a hundred [TS]

00:12:30   eighteen Lexington yes this is before is [TS]

00:12:33   like around the time you're about to [TS]

00:12:34   start writing your first record right [TS]

00:12:36   yeah well the first record was daughter [TS]

00:12:37   was doing 2001 summer 2001 [TS]

00:12:40   and I went up there and and lived in [TS]

00:12:43   Spanish Harlem what they called the bar [TS]

00:12:45   el barrio and it was the one time in my [TS]

00:12:50   life where I'm where I actually had a [TS]

00:12:52   gun pointed at me where it wasn't just [TS]

00:12:55   some Alaskan guy pointing a gun at you [TS]

00:12:57   my captain's something he could settle [TS]

00:12:59   it once it goes like I alright you got a [TS]

00:13:02   gun i got again right it was that it was [TS]

00:13:04   an armed robbery and I was with two [TS]

00:13:09   other people and we're walking [TS]

00:13:11   obviously we were we were stupid we were [TS]

00:13:14   walking along the east river at ten [TS]

00:13:17   o'clock at night in Spanish Harlem and [TS]

00:13:20   it you know we've been walking up the [TS]

00:13:22   East River so there's a certain point [TS]

00:13:24   there's not like gunplay primetime yeah [TS]

00:13:26   it's sort of like well it'sit's at 98 [TS]

00:13:30   you're still on the Upper East Side kind [TS]

00:13:34   of you know and we're just walking and [TS]

00:13:35   talking and chatting and and we don't [TS]

00:13:37   realize that we walked into Academy a [TS]

00:13:39   shooting gallery area where everyone is [TS]

00:13:41   that they're all these junkies are lying [TS]

00:13:43   sort of all since stacked like cordwood [TS]

00:13:45   all around and that we walk over this [TS]

00:13:48   bridge and this guy in a hooded [TS]

00:13:51   sweatshirt is standing there and and [TS]

00:13:56   he's real casual you know he's kind of [TS]

00:13:58   he's leaning up against the pole and [TS]

00:14:00   he's got he's got his pistol out and I'm [TS]

00:14:05   kind of in the lead of the three of us [TS]

00:14:06   and I walked past him he says something [TS]

00:14:10   to me i don't see the gun and I go oh [TS]

00:14:14   hey what's up and I I walked past him [TS]

00:14:17   I'm 10 feet past him before the girl [TS]

00:14:22   screams there's three of us to me of guy [TS]

00:14:28   and his girlfriend and she sees the gun [TS]

00:14:31   and she stops dead in her tracks and [TS]

00:14:33   screams and I turn around and I see that [TS]

00:14:37   he's got the guard on the girl and and I [TS]

00:14:40   I i have the I'm so indignant and I have [TS]

00:14:45   to walk back to get in front of this [TS]

00:14:48   guy's gun you know what I mean like GT [TS]

00:14:51   that well I was already passed in my you [TS]

00:14:53   know [TS]

00:14:54   she if she had kept walking if the other [TS]

00:14:56   guy w he wouldn't you know he's just [TS]

00:14:57   sitting there is like the ones you're [TS]

00:14:59   talking about being a human shield [TS]

00:15:00   you're saying go back and finish that [TS]

00:15:01   the robber transaction know that's what [TS]

00:15:03   I had to do I was like oh my god why [TS]

00:15:05   didn't you just keep walking [TS]

00:15:07   so I turn around I walked back and this [TS]

00:15:11   guy never says a word I mean he said [TS]

00:15:13   something to me like mermaids stick it [TS]

00:15:14   up stick them up or whatever I didn't [TS]

00:15:16   hear him because when you're walking in [TS]

00:15:18   the dark in Spanish Harlem even if [TS]

00:15:20   you're even if you are oblivious [TS]

00:15:22   I mean being oblivious is your greatest [TS]

00:15:24   strength right i mean some guys down [TS]

00:15:26   there with the gun goes and then stick [TS]

00:15:27   them up and you just go [TS]

00:15:30   yeah great nice to see you and keep [TS]

00:15:31   walking he's not going to shoot you [TS]

00:15:33   he's going to understand that it's a [TS]

00:15:35   misunderstanding [TS]

00:15:37   he's gonna get hold up the next person [TS]

00:15:38   or he's gonna run around in front of you [TS]

00:15:40   and like four see if that looks that [TS]

00:15:42   looks sort of stupid if he does that [TS]

00:15:44   yeah right he's not gonna eat he has his [TS]

00:15:45   own dignity i can write in retrospect he [TS]

00:15:47   didn't fire a warning shot and say no [TS]

00:15:49   turn around [TS]

00:15:50   yeah and he's not the thing is he's not [TS]

00:15:51   a guy who's like jumping in front of you [TS]

00:15:54   with his feet spread em is when the [TS]

00:15:56   gunfire i'm going to freeze you know [TS]

00:15:59   he's like this guy's keys cool batteries [TS]

00:16:01   like hey man you know he's like that [TS]

00:16:03   he's like that the troll under the [TS]

00:16:04   bridge right he's like let me hold your [TS]

00:16:06   wallet so i have to have to drag my ass [TS]

00:16:10   back there I'm all indignant about it [TS]

00:16:12   and he's like you know throw three [TS]

00:16:14   wallets on the ground or whatever says [TS]

00:16:16   to the girl and I pulled my wallet out [TS]

00:16:20   and I had you know I had stuff in the [TS]

00:16:21   wallet i wanted to keep and so I you [TS]

00:16:26   know I take whatever $21 i had and they [TS]

00:16:28   threw it on the ground piece he wants [TS]

00:16:31   the wallet and I'm like no don't need [TS]

00:16:35   the wallet and again I kinda had to grab [TS]

00:16:39   her by the arm and pull er down the road [TS]

00:16:43   like she was like a deer in the [TS]

00:16:45   headlights and my god just keep moving [TS]

00:16:48   and get out of the way you know what I [TS]

00:16:49   mean like keep moving [TS]

00:16:51   don't stand there so yeah we had had to [TS]

00:16:56   pull these two along and you know all [TS]

00:16:58   this guy wanted was that if i had 11 [TS]

00:17:00   sense he would do for it [TS]

00:17:02   so anyway we get our past and then we [TS]

00:17:05   had the great adventure of going to the [TS]

00:17:08   El Barrio police station and trying to [TS]

00:17:11   pick this hooded this masked gunmen out [TS]

00:17:15   of a lot of book of mug shots which was [TS]

00:17:18   it was the ultimate the ultimate example [TS]

00:17:21   of like mugshots are useless eyewitness [TS]

00:17:24   accounts are useless we all three of us [TS]

00:17:26   picked a different person out of the mug [TS]

00:17:28   book the guy that I picked out the the [TS]

00:17:31   cop turned the book writer was like well [TS]

00:17:33   that's interesting i don't think it was [TS]

00:17:34   him because he's been in jail for the [TS]

00:17:36   last three years but uh but nice try I [TS]

00:17:39   was like ah God could have sworn it was [TS]

00:17:41   him and then then they put me in a cop [TS]

00:17:44   car and we drove around all the dark [TS]

00:17:47   spots of the of the barrio looking you [TS]

00:17:50   know with our spotlight looking for the [TS]

00:17:52   guy who the guy had written a white swan [TS]

00:17:56   that's a pretty high level of service [TS]

00:17:58   very al barrio police department i'm [TS]

00:18:00   guessing you know they were they were [TS]

00:18:03   they were great the tops were great i [TS]

00:18:05   have always felt the new york city [TS]

00:18:07   police are some of the best in the world [TS]

00:18:08   having been accosted by many police in [TS]

00:18:11   many cities New York Police are they're [TS]

00:18:15   just regular Joe's you know who the LA [TS]

00:18:17   cops San Francisco cop Seattle cops they [TS]

00:18:21   all act like they're real special people [TS]

00:18:24   who are charged with a special mission [TS]

00:18:27   to keep the peace and there it you know [TS]

00:18:30   they are working on behalf of the mayor [TS]

00:18:32   and the governor and they really fit a [TS]

00:18:33   relief really carry themselves with a [TS]

00:18:35   lot of you know with the attitude that [TS]

00:18:39   every single person on the street is a [TS]

00:18:40   perpetrator and in New York City there [TS]

00:18:43   like a smoke a bowl and more likes it [TS]

00:18:47   like a filling a legitimate civil [TS]

00:18:49   servant [TS]

00:18:50   yeah they're guys that are you know [TS]

00:18:51   they're here they're there to keep like [TS]

00:18:53   they're there to keep bears from running [TS]

00:18:55   down the middle of the street but beyond [TS]

00:18:56   that you know let people do with what [TS]

00:18:59   people do what they're going to do you [TS]

00:19:00   know if you're gonna you're gonna stop [TS]

00:19:02   and and and and bust every infraction in [TS]

00:19:06   new york city that nothing could get [TS]

00:19:07   done [TS]

00:19:09   well is that school I went to was really [TS]

00:19:11   small in there were there you know [TS]

00:19:13   rotating but like you know for full-time [TS]

00:19:16   like campus cops called right the campus [TS]

00:19:18   police there's only four of its all we [TS]

00:19:19   needed for this campus we talk about the [TS]

00:19:21   university of south florida [TS]

00:19:23   well yes and it's smaller is it smaller [TS]

00:19:25   developmentally disabled daughter new [TS]

00:19:27   college and but yeah the campus was [TS]

00:19:29   small and was it might have been more [TS]

00:19:32   than that but the the four main cops [TS]

00:19:35   that were around [TS]

00:19:36   first of all you know they were by and [TS]

00:19:38   large like you say they were there to [TS]

00:19:39   keep bears away but at least three of [TS]

00:19:42   the cops that were retired from being [TS]

00:19:45   actual cops say I'm pretty sure two of [TS]

00:19:48   the cops were former new york city cops [TS]

00:19:52   and one in particular who is the [TS]

00:19:54   friendliest tub easiest like funniest [TS]

00:19:57   nicest guy there who could beat your [TS]

00:19:59   head and if you had to used to work on [TS]

00:20:01   one of those boats to would drag the [TS]

00:20:03   river for bodies [TS]

00:20:05   oh I mean this is a guy who liked dealt [TS]

00:20:07   with you know dead bleached-out bodies [TS]

00:20:11   who he saw a lot of shit [TS]

00:20:13   this guy had been in the shit he's been [TS]

00:20:15   in the shit yeah exactly the [TS]

00:20:16   thousand-yard stare and was funny was I [TS]

00:20:19   mean that sounds that sounds like a [TS]

00:20:20   cliche but you know he was really nice [TS]

00:20:23   he he had a very get the correct trigger [TS]

00:20:25   for when to go ape shit about stuff and [TS]

00:20:28   when not room and there's one guy [TS]

00:20:30   becomes shorty was the one guy who seem [TS]

00:20:32   to be like professional security guard [TS]

00:20:34   had gotten like come to the big game and [TS]

00:20:37   he was he was the Barney Fife guy he was [TS]

00:20:38   like always waiting to pull the bullet [TS]

00:20:40   out of the public eye kind of guy but I [TS]

00:20:42   was that was so interesting that [TS]

00:20:43   somebody would actually had that kind of [TS]

00:20:44   exposure to people kinda like you right [TS]

00:20:46   i mean that case i would have been this [TS]

00:20:48   that screaming lady just for what it's [TS]

00:20:49   worth because I'm not used to dealing [TS]

00:20:50   with situations like that treat for you [TS]

00:20:53   that's something where you just keep [TS]

00:20:54   your head about you that cop was and he [TS]

00:20:56   was he was more effective [TS]

00:20:57   well that's why I always imagined that [TS]

00:20:59   in life what would what would end up [TS]

00:21:01   happening to me is that I would end up [TS]

00:21:02   being the sheriff of a small town in [TS]

00:21:05   northern washington like twist [TS]

00:21:07   Washington or something I would end up [TS]

00:21:10   there retired this year of twists and [TS]

00:21:12   I'd end up being the sheriff of twists [TS]

00:21:14   and then if some kind of bad shit [TS]

00:21:17   happened in twist there was a there is a [TS]

00:21:19   multiple killing or maybe a drug deal [TS]

00:21:21   gone bad where [TS]

00:21:22   bunch of people shot each other and then [TS]

00:21:24   a local hunter found a bag of money and [TS]

00:21:27   went on and I would be like the kind of [TS]

00:21:31   hard-bitten sheriff that was like man [TS]

00:21:33   what's gone wrong with the world today [TS]

00:21:36   I've seen a lot of been in the shit I've [TS]

00:21:38   seen it all [TS]

00:21:40   uh-huh but if this AMS it'll do till one [TS]

00:21:42   gets here [TS]

00:21:43   well like a lot of like a lot of those [TS]

00:21:45   kinds of sheriffs it seems to me you're [TS]

00:21:46   somebody who's seen stuff you don't want [TS]

00:21:48   to see maybe you're back from the Civil [TS]

00:21:49   War maybe your back from Vietnam your [TS]

00:21:52   back from somewhere where a lot of you [TS]

00:21:54   know there were a lot of body parts [TS]

00:21:55   right B&B rock trenches [TS]

00:21:58   oh gosh it was amazing what a man like [TS]

00:22:00   you can see the steely eyes on boys [TS]

00:22:02   yeah yeah so you went there looking for [TS]

00:22:04   maybe not a simpler life but sure you [TS]

00:22:05   want to help people but you're also you [TS]

00:22:07   may be had with the body parts but now [TS]

00:22:09   you your imperturbable and and the town [TS]

00:22:11   of twists us with andy griffith can rest [TS]

00:22:14   easy knowing knowing that you're there [TS]

00:22:16   and you're mostly talking people out of [TS]

00:22:17   things now do you carry a gun in Twisp [TS]

00:22:19   you got all you don't need a gun I mean [TS]

00:22:20   you have one in the truck but the thing [TS]

00:22:22   is I didn't move to twist to be the [TS]

00:22:24   sheriff I moved up there to get away and [TS]

00:22:26   then I realized you know the the people [TS]

00:22:28   of Twisp kind of called on me [TS]

00:22:31   you said you or maybe not precisely a [TS]

00:22:33   psychotic loner but you were definitely [TS]

00:22:35   like in your own cabin maybe working on [TS]

00:22:37   your latest book and then something [TS]

00:22:38   happened something happened to the old [TS]

00:22:40   sheriff but they needed you [TS]

00:22:41   i'm guessing yeah exactly what you're [TS]

00:22:43   called upon something happened to the [TS]

00:22:44   old sheriff and there wasn't anybody to [TS]

00:22:46   fill these shoes who and I was called [TS]

00:22:48   upon to be the to be the sheriff and it [TS]

00:22:50   was it you know I was it was it was a [TS]

00:22:52   service i was providing my townspeople [TS]

00:22:54   to resist a little bit first [TS]

00:22:56   sure yeah I'm not the guy you don't want [TS]

00:22:59   me that you know I've been in the shit I [TS]

00:23:02   just came out here to that I just came [TS]

00:23:04   out here to get to listen to the wind [TS]

00:23:05   whistled through the pines and then [TS]

00:23:08   they're like but but sheriff they start [TS]

00:23:11   calling me sheriff and that's what if [TS]

00:23:12   thats that's where it starts you know [TS]

00:23:13   that ok [TS]

00:23:15   they think they were calling me Sheriff [TS]

00:23:17   even before it was like just going to [TS]

00:23:19   walk around carry yourself like a [TS]

00:23:20   sheriff what kind of crime you get in [TS]

00:23:22   twist you think you mean you're saying [TS]

00:23:23   is it mostly is it drug crimes like [TS]

00:23:25   people growing weed somebody hit [TS]

00:23:27   somebody with a belt running off the [TS]

00:23:28   chicken like what kind of shit goes down [TS]

00:23:29   and twist people you know that so it's [TS]

00:23:31   real close to the Canadian border and so [TS]

00:23:33   there's those uh those Hells Angels [TS]

00:23:34   motorcycle gangs [TS]

00:23:35   bringing the all motorcycle key but John [TS]

00:23:39   that is exactly the kind of thing that [TS]

00:23:40   would have twist calling upon you [TS]

00:23:42   yeah that's like seven samurai below [TS]

00:23:43   which is one John yeah here comes the [TS]

00:23:45   motorcycle game terrorizing the town [TS]

00:23:48   twisp check the problem with chuck chuck [TS]

00:23:50   norris of course is the truck doors in [TS]

00:23:52   that same situation is going to karate [TS]

00:23:54   chop all those guys huh [TS]

00:23:55   I come from a different school I'm not [TS]

00:23:58   gonna be karate-chopping anybody but I [TS]

00:24:00   am gonna going to be freezing guys in [TS]

00:24:02   there in their shoes with my steely gaze [TS]

00:24:05   and mind your own and mind bullets too [TS]

00:24:08   I've got you I've got mine both become [TS]

00:24:10   mindful it's all the time yeah i can use [TS]

00:24:12   my bullets [TS]

00:24:12   you can also take it down to where the [TS]

00:24:13   sewers meet the power plant but that was [TS]

00:24:16   determined holds the terminology that's [TS]

00:24:18   a long drive from from twist [TS]

00:24:20   they probably have something like that [TS]

00:24:21   but the guy they got a ravine or a [TS]

00:24:23   galley or a creek they have a crack baby [TS]

00:24:25   definitely have a correct there I think [TS]

00:24:27   they probably I think it's probably [TS]

00:24:28   found something in the correct this [TS]

00:24:29   isn't okay okanagan County Okanogan [TS]

00:24:32   County that's right population 938 my [TS]

00:24:35   sorry let me take that back strike that [TS]

00:24:36   nine thirty thousand two thousand oh my [TS]

00:24:38   god John John in two thousand the [TS]

00:24:41   population was 19 when you're feeling [TS]

00:24:42   better you need to get the fuck up to [TS]

00:24:44   twist what's happening what's going on [TS]

00:24:45   well I don't graphic change on the only [TS]

00:24:47   in the first paragraph but an 938 in the [TS]

00:24:50   year 2000 is already down to 9 19 and I [TS]

00:24:53   don't they're losing jobs for people [TS]

00:24:54   falling in the creek but then I think [TS]

00:24:56   they might need Sheriff John the fingers [TS]

00:24:58   the young people in twist they don't [TS]

00:24:59   they don't see the opportunity of their [TS]

00:25:01   their their their fathers and grand [TS]

00:25:03   Pappy's is the is defined so they're [TS]

00:25:06   moving their problem in the big say [TS]

00:25:08   they're moving to Seattle and they're [TS]

00:25:10   joining some kind of River group Cooper [TS]

00:25:14   rivers they couldn't find jobs maybe [TS]

00:25:16   that's the twist is located on the [TS]

00:25:18   methow river and its confluence with the [TS]

00:25:20   twist prefer the titular twist river [TS]

00:25:22   mhm the whole town it's 1.2 square miles [TS]

00:25:25   behind [TS]

00:25:27   I don't know man I either you there's [TS]

00:25:30   nothing is long as you get like [TS]

00:25:31   satellite service or something there's [TS]

00:25:32   almost nothing you can take bath there I [TS]

00:25:34   know you love your home I know you love [TS]

00:25:36   your family i'm just saying there's a [TS]

00:25:37   lot of things you can do in twist i saw [TS]

00:25:39   this in a dream you know the twist is a [TS]

00:25:41   beautiful beautiful little town of its [TS]

00:25:44   kind of like an Old West town if you if [TS]

00:25:46   you drive through it's got little [TS]

00:25:48   clapboard houses and it was a the mining [TS]

00:25:52   town back in the turn-of-the-century [TS]

00:25:53   minutes that's exactly the place that I [TS]

00:25:55   would end up being the sheriff if I was [TS]

00:25:57   gonna do that but uh but i still haven't [TS]

00:26:01   decided which you know there are a few [TS]

00:26:03   different turns my life could take I [TS]

00:26:05   could also be a tweety professor sitting [TS]

00:26:09   in his cramped office doing can be [TS]

00:26:13   honest that's a lot of fucking meetings [TS]

00:26:15   yeah but I don't teachers have to go to [TS]

00:26:17   a lot of meetings they do they have to [TS]

00:26:19   deal with that University hierarchy [TS]

00:26:21   which I've never it's just the same as [TS]

00:26:22   getting a job at IBM [TS]

00:26:24   it's just like working it's worse i mean [TS]

00:26:27   i began go outside you get outside and [TS]

00:26:29   do a math problem in settlement men but [TS]

00:26:31   a place like that you see at undermine [TS]

00:26:33   them for five years we've got tenure [TS]

00:26:34   like fucking furniture i think every [TS]

00:26:37   person at a university is like an HR [TS]

00:26:39   person at a company like every person [TS]

00:26:43   you're dealing with including the other [TS]

00:26:44   professors are talking to you like an HR [TS]

00:26:46   person yet conservative nervous and [TS]

00:26:49   easily replaced yeah and and also really [TS]

00:26:52   concerned about what you're you know [TS]

00:26:54   really concerned about you and what's [TS]

00:26:55   going on in your mind and whether or not [TS]

00:26:57   you did your TPS reports or whatever [TS]

00:26:59   it's just that sounds like a horrible [TS]

00:27:01   environment for John you know I had a [TS]

00:27:03   mentor at the University of Washington [TS]

00:27:04   who wanted to hear what i say i mentor I [TS]

00:27:08   mean the mentor of the one mentor of my [TS]

00:27:10   life perfect this professor named Jim [TS]

00:27:13   Klaus and he had this vision but he and [TS]

00:27:18   a few of the other like teachers and [TS]

00:27:22   students from the comparative history of [TS]

00:27:25   ideas program we're going to start a new [TS]

00:27:28   university called the University of the [TS]

00:27:31   Cascades we were going to go find out we [TS]

00:27:34   can find a large like an old boy scout [TS]

00:27:36   camp somewhere up in the mountains and [TS]

00:27:38   we're going to start a new university [TS]

00:27:40   there and we would talk about this [TS]

00:27:43   university over and over and it was it [TS]

00:27:50   was really a beacon in there are just a [TS]

00:27:52   small group of us but it was a speaking [TS]

00:27:54   in our future like and then we will [TS]

00:27:56   start the University of the Cascades and [TS]

00:27:59   many they changed it to the University [TS]

00:28:01   of the Olympics because he liked those [TS]

00:28:03   mountains [TS]

00:28:04   Seattle is situated between the olympic [TS]

00:28:06   mountains in the Cascade Mountains we [TS]

00:28:09   figured there were more boy scout camps [TS]

00:28:10   out in the Olympics and so he switched [TS]

00:28:14   his focus to those mountains and that [TS]

00:28:15   seemed even better harder to get to the [TS]

00:28:17   Olympics then the University of the [TS]

00:28:20   olympics was like this idea that and [TS]

00:28:23   then them and then he got the cancer [TS]

00:28:25   oh god that's no good no it was terrible [TS]

00:28:27   and we got the candy got the cancer [TS]

00:28:29   really fast it was like one [TS]

00:28:31   what we hear is to meet weekly and go to [TS]

00:28:35   this pop dog place called shultzy's on [TS]

00:28:38   university avenue and we were supposed [TS]

00:28:40   to meet at shultzy's on Tuesday and he [TS]

00:28:41   called me and he was like oh I can't eat [TS]

00:28:45   your cheese this week I was like oh why [TS]

00:28:47   not he said because i have pancreatic [TS]

00:28:49   cancer [TS]

00:28:49   oh my god John that's awful yeah and he [TS]

00:28:52   died within a couple of months it was it [TS]

00:28:55   was it was a terrible thing for me he [TS]

00:28:57   was the one guy in my whole life that [TS]

00:28:59   ever like whatever kind of showed me the [TS]

00:29:02   way you know he was a real he was a a [TS]

00:29:06   pedagogue in the in every sense of the [TS]

00:29:08   word and miserable that we don't get [TS]

00:29:11   that opportunity to realize that and [TS]

00:29:13   then do something nice to thank them [TS]

00:29:14   until it's way too late [TS]

00:29:16   yeah yeah although i mean i-i i feel i [TS]

00:29:18   feel like i had i had a jet the you know [TS]

00:29:21   I had a chance to tell him what he meant [TS]

00:29:24   to me and I remember I went to his [TS]

00:29:27   bedside you know when he's like a little [TS]

00:29:29   final days and i started i started [TS]

00:29:32   saying you know he said he said you need [TS]

00:29:35   to just graduate from college [TS]

00:29:36   don't worry about all these fantasies [TS]

00:29:40   that you have about how you're going to [TS]

00:29:41   graduate from college with the where [TS]

00:29:43   someone's going to put a Laurel [TS]

00:29:45   crown on your head and they're gonna [TS]

00:29:47   they're gonna pronounce you the kball [TS]

00:29:49   colleges just graduated from college [TS]

00:29:52   like a normal person I was like but but [TS]

00:29:55   but I have to do this that and the other [TS]

00:29:56   and he was like just do this one thing [TS]

00:29:58   just graduated from college in the [TS]

00:30:01   simplest possible way and I realized [TS]

00:30:03   that even there as he lay dying he was [TS]

00:30:06   trying to help me and I was stuck with [TS]

00:30:11   being a pain in his as like no no here's [TS]

00:30:14   how I'm gonna do it I'm gonna graduate [TS]

00:30:15   from college but when i do they're going [TS]

00:30:17   to realize that that from that day forth [TS]

00:30:20   all colleges is meaningless and that [TS]

00:30:23   people just need to listen to me from [TS]

00:30:24   here on out he was like listen with my [TS]

00:30:28   with my some of my last breath i'm going [TS]

00:30:30   to tell you just don't do that just just [TS]

00:30:33   be a normal person and graduate from [TS]

00:30:36   college just do this one simple thing I [TS]

00:30:38   still haven't done that but I'm yeah but [TS]

00:30:41   you but but but you moved on from [TS]

00:30:45   thinking I assume that you're going to [TS]

00:30:48   change the the way we think about [TS]

00:30:50   colleges has emerged that so you moved [TS]

00:30:52   on in your way a little bit little bit [TS]

00:30:54   yeah it was very sad because with him [TS]

00:30:56   but he was the motivating factor of this [TS]

00:30:59   this call this university we were going [TS]

00:31:01   to start out in the trees and without [TS]

00:31:04   him in a no one else had the no one else [TS]

00:31:06   had the complete vision you know he was [TS]

00:31:08   the one that was a that he was actually [TS]

00:31:10   a PhD you know the rest of us were just [TS]

00:31:12   right just satellites or whatever I mean [TS]

00:31:17   not that's not to say there were a bunch [TS]

00:31:18   of phd's around him but he was the one [TS]

00:31:20   that had the he burned like a hot Sun [TS]

00:31:21   this guy you could you tell I was wrong [TS]

00:31:24   to be on the team for freer school [TS]

00:31:26   program for a variety of reasons because [TS]

00:31:28   i was I i SAT erect in my chair [TS]

00:31:30   throughout every part of that I was like [TS]

00:31:32   yes yes and this will be out with the [TS]

00:31:35   camps and the lodge in the wood and I [TS]

00:31:37   was yes yes and then you told me you [TS]

00:31:39   thought about calling university [TS]

00:31:40   olympics and completely lost interesting [TS]

00:31:42   haha that's why Pentagon i am it's like [TS]

00:31:46   and I realized I mean I just thought [TS]

00:31:48   that with the collar University of the [TS]

00:31:50   Cascades is the one of the coolest names [TS]

00:31:51   I've ever heard em but as soon as it was [TS]

00:31:54   university Olympics you're like I can't [TS]

00:31:55   but I don't want to wear that sweatshirt [TS]

00:31:57   will do that did that [TS]

00:31:58   see this is you probably won't like this [TS]

00:31:59   did that ever factor into your thinking [TS]

00:32:01   because Gonzaga is a pretty freaky name [TS]

00:32:02   for a school especially since a lot of [TS]

00:32:05   people mistakenly call it Gonzaga i [TS]

00:32:07   called it Gonzaga until I heard your dad [TS]

00:32:09   pronounced in front of me wants and [TS]

00:32:11   until then I thought it was gone saga [TS]

00:32:13   yeah i think a lot of people do yeah i [TS]

00:32:15   mean it really that Gonzaga it's named [TS]

00:32:17   Jack it's alright that was pretty good [TS]

00:32:19   pretty klutz you know Gonzaga is named [TS]

00:32:21   after a guy a lot of people are named [TS]

00:32:23   not a lot of universities are named [TS]

00:32:24   after some old guy some dead guys my [TS]

00:32:26   sister would say some dead rich guy from [TS]

00:32:29   the past why do I want to go to these [TS]

00:32:30   castles and museums it's just a bunch of [TS]

00:32:32   dead rich people that season that's my [TS]

00:32:34   sister and that's my sister walking [TS]

00:32:36   through Rome let's go in here why don't [TS]

00:32:39   want to go in there it's a bunch of [TS]

00:32:40   stuff from dead rich people [TS]

00:32:42   Susan it's the word Rome go on you and [TS]

00:32:47   your sister traveling you to traveling [TS]

00:32:49   together sounds like a NBC sitcom they [TS]

00:32:51   would not be picked up for a second [TS]

00:32:52   season [TS]

00:32:53   she's like yeah we're in Rome where [TS]

00:32:55   their discotheques everywhere [TS]

00:32:57   why do we want to go to these old places [TS]

00:32:59   for Musti dirt like what are you talking [TS]

00:33:03   about discotheques [TS]

00:33:04   Oh traveling with her was like travel [TS]

00:33:09   with a traveling with an untamed [TS]

00:33:11   she-wolf under wanna look like held back [TS]

00:33:15   with a piece of dental floss come [TS]

00:33:19   holding onto this mint-flavored floss [TS]

00:33:21   and she's just like disco are there are [TS]

00:33:24   I'm like disco not gonna go to at Roman [TS]

00:33:27   disco but you don't know how to live we [TS]

00:33:30   were everybody's a dumb shit that's the [TS]

00:33:32   problem and I and the problem is it's [TS]

00:33:34   one thing to be a dumb shit and it's [TS]

00:33:36   another thing to be a slightly [TS]

00:33:37   above-average intelligence dumb shit [TS]

00:33:39   which makes you 10 * fucking dumber than [TS]

00:33:41   the dumbest dumb shit because because i [TS]

00:33:43   was so genetically incapable of seeing [TS]

00:33:46   what a dumbfuck I was and you know it [TS]

00:33:49   makes me resistant even try and help [TS]

00:33:50   anybody because obviously i'm still kind [TS]

00:33:51   of an idiot but you know what i mean [TS]

00:33:53   like it and the things that people would [TS]

00:33:54   say to me that seems so saying about how [TS]

00:33:56   to treat other people and how to behave [TS]

00:33:58   and how to make decisions I just thought [TS]

00:34:00   they were that they were square Bates [TS]

00:34:03   justjust dumbasses [TS]

00:34:05   uh-huh I mean you must have gone through [TS]

00:34:06   this a little bit oh I was tortured by [TS]

00:34:09   other people are coming up because I [TS]

00:34:12   we felt like I felt I i I'm really kept [TS]

00:34:19   trying to do the right thing i'm in my [TS]

00:34:25   interactions with other people and that [TS]

00:34:27   invariably sets you on the course for [TS]

00:34:30   doom and destruction if you're trying to [TS]

00:34:34   be normal you know what I mean like a [TS]

00:34:37   normal team who is not thinking about [TS]

00:34:40   doing the right thing [TS]

00:34:42   normal team is just trying to do you [TS]

00:34:45   know trying to do something anything in [TS]

00:34:47   at any opportunity right arm [TS]

00:34:50   normal team is not flying up above the [TS]

00:34:54   scenario trying to discern what the best [TS]

00:34:57   course of action for everyone involved [TS]

00:34:59   is and and I spent my whole young life [TS]

00:35:04   watching people go about their living [TS]

00:35:08   and wondering and standing in the middle [TS]

00:35:10   of it like one of those stop motion [TS]

00:35:13   scenes in the movie where everyone's [TS]

00:35:15   moving really fast and the person in the [TS]

00:35:17   center is is moving super slow and he's [TS]

00:35:19   like but but wait you know and people [TS]

00:35:22   just getting on with it and I'm and I [TS]

00:35:24   was in the I was in this like this [TS]

00:35:28   constant cloud of thinking that that all [TS]

00:35:32   the all the petty little problems that [TS]

00:35:33   people were getting into we could just [TS]

00:35:35   figure out and and and figure out what [TS]

00:35:37   the what the right thing to do is and [TS]

00:35:38   then do that and you know and I think [TS]

00:35:41   that's why later on I i I'd over into [TS]

00:35:46   drugs and and bad and doing bad things [TS]

00:35:49   because later on I was like well you [TS]

00:35:51   know what [TS]

00:35:52   like none of that trying to do good [TS]

00:35:54   produced anything but sadness in me and [TS]

00:35:57   everyone I touched so now i'm just going [TS]

00:35:59   to be to be bad i'm gonna do the bad [TS]

00:36:03   stuff i'm gonna do all the bad stuff and [TS]

00:36:05   maybe that way i'll come out the other [TS]

00:36:08   side and it will all have evened out [TS]

00:36:09   somehow you know and that didn't work [TS]

00:36:13   either [TS]

00:36:13   that was just that was just bad that was [TS]

00:36:16   just doing bad things for their own sake [TS]

00:36:19   and and you know it still was a kind of [TS]

00:36:23   like overthinking overthinking what you [TS]

00:36:25   doing bad things for the sake of doing [TS]

00:36:26   bad things you're thinking too much [TS]

00:36:29   yeah you know just go like you want to [TS]

00:36:31   be with the girl go try and be with the [TS]

00:36:33   girl you don't it doesn't have to be [TS]

00:36:34   that you it's doesn't have to be like a [TS]

00:36:37   like an epic poem just go try to be with [TS]

00:36:40   the girl [TS]

00:36:41   well the notices the frustrating part on [TS]

00:36:43   both sides of the equation [TS]

00:36:44   it's a you think about like trying to my [TS]

00:36:47   daughter's a little young for this but I [TS]

00:36:48   try to think about how you teach a kid [TS]

00:36:49   to ride a bike and the first time the [TS]

00:36:51   kid gets on a bike they fall down and [TS]

00:36:53   they don't ride the bike anymore because [TS]

00:36:54   there's no way they're ever gonna be [TS]

00:36:56   able to ride a bike and actually him and [TS]

00:36:58   took him and combined until they get [TS]

00:36:59   back on the ball you hit him with the [TS]

00:37:00   bike and you say you like this i can [TS]

00:37:02   help with the bike like this like stand [TS]

00:37:04   up but if you you know the thing is if [TS]

00:37:06   you know how to ride a bike how do you [TS]

00:37:07   describe to somebody how to ride a bike [TS]

00:37:09   you might have a couple ideas but [TS]

00:37:11   basically just go we ride the bike and [TS]

00:37:13   it seems so obvious i'm not saying you [TS]

00:37:15   can't help somebody do that but it's [TS]

00:37:17   really i think it's really frustrating [TS]

00:37:18   as a former as a former cereal dumbfuck [TS]

00:37:21   whose hopefully trying to get a little [TS]

00:37:22   better at some of it it's really [TS]

00:37:24   frustrating part i think a lot of this [TS]

00:37:25   comes down to like I can't fix you and I [TS]

00:37:28   can't prevent you from doing everything [TS]

00:37:31   wrong but your students doing [TS]

00:37:33   I see you doing something that I can [TS]

00:37:35   promise you is so fucking stupid and d [TS]

00:37:38   railing and i wish i could get you to [TS]

00:37:40   see how stupid and direct its and that's [TS]

00:37:43   the thing that you're least likely to [TS]

00:37:45   change in somebody like you say just ask [TS]

00:37:47   her out she's scared to know if she says [TS]

00:37:50   no you know what [TS]

00:37:51   that's okay you're not gonna die yeah I [TS]

00:37:54   kept I kept thinking and I kept thinking [TS]

00:37:56   that there was i mean i'm not alone in [TS]

00:37:58   this there's [TS]

00:37:59   though there's a world of people [TS]

00:38:00   thinking this but you know everybody [TS]

00:38:02   thinks there's a secret to life [TS]

00:38:04   I kept thinking that the secret to life [TS]

00:38:05   was attainable and I was going to you [TS]

00:38:08   know once i figured it out i was gonna [TS]

00:38:10   share it with everybody how God was just [TS]

00:38:12   like that said that's a tough formula [TS]

00:38:14   boy kid but you know if I went back and [TS]

00:38:18   talked to myself right now if I stood in [TS]

00:38:19   front of my 17 year old cell and grabbed [TS]

00:38:24   myself by my stupid shirt that you know [TS]

00:38:27   my stupid kind of like like a plan that [TS]

00:38:31   patchwork shirt that i thought was [TS]

00:38:33   hilarious and cool grab myself by that [TS]

00:38:36   shirt lift myself up off the ground and [TS]

00:38:38   set all this to myself I would just be [TS]

00:38:40   like yeah whatever man whatever old bad [TS]

00:38:44   yeah no I'm the worst example of [TS]

00:38:46   everything that I thought was wrong you [TS]

00:38:47   know in a lot of ways because not [TS]

00:38:49   because i think i think i can help you [TS]

00:38:51   know all this this kid i'm going to try [TS]

00:38:53   and help not knowing that kid already [TS]

00:38:54   knows everything and plus i'm obviously [TS]

00:38:56   some kind of a doofus now and I remember [TS]

00:38:59   thinking like i said i was standing [TS]

00:39:01   outside the library yesterday and I was [TS]

00:39:03   watching this you know very old woman [TS]

00:39:05   crossing the street and you know people [TS]

00:39:07   being very impatient with their cars and [TS]

00:39:09   she's just an old lady trying to cross [TS]

00:39:10   the street she's a hunched over and shit [TS]

00:39:11   and i was thinking like I remember [TS]

00:39:13   there's green matter came over and get [TS]

00:39:16   out of the way people have to go places [TS]

00:39:20   madam if you throw your phone matter [TS]

00:39:22   what I remember was a net and I never [TS]

00:39:25   overtly thought this but now i know i [TS]

00:39:27   was actually i was taking this so often [TS]

00:39:28   that I didn't even need two men think it [TS]

00:39:30   i thought people who got old did [TS]

00:39:32   something fucked up and wrong [TS]

00:39:33   ok know that they were so stupid that [TS]

00:39:35   they were stupid or like just didn't [TS]

00:39:38   realize that you could be eternally [TS]

00:39:39   young and healthy forever and and [TS]

00:39:41   obviously used to fucking idiot because [TS]

00:39:42   you got old [TS]

00:39:43   oh my my my best version of that is I [TS]

00:39:46   thought for a long time that Street [TS]

00:39:48   drunks and hobos had the wisdom of the [TS]

00:39:52   sages I got this my Tom Waits face o.o [TS]

00:39:56   its everybody's time with you know it's [TS]

00:39:59   it's it's the Bukowski years right where [TS]

00:40:01   you are going to schools and they teach [TS]

00:40:03   you nothing it's just a bunch of block [TS]

00:40:05   you know why because none of those [TS]

00:40:07   teachers have little [TS]

00:40:08   lived that's really actually lived you [TS]

00:40:11   need to go down to skid row [TS]

00:40:12   yep and find the guys who have you know [TS]

00:40:14   who have a literally have tire tracks on [TS]

00:40:18   their face and lay down next to them in [TS]

00:40:22   the in the in the piss Phil gutter and [TS]

00:40:24   say tell me man [TS]

00:40:26   what is the fucking secret and these [TS]

00:40:28   guys are gonna go adding adding adding [TS]

00:40:30   adding adding that let you finger me for [TS]

00:40:33   a quarter [TS]

00:40:36   I remember I was standing down as some [TS]

00:40:38   soup kitchen line one time and some guy [TS]

00:40:41   with one arm walks over to me and he's [TS]

00:40:46   got a pack of camel straits in his hand [TS]

00:40:49   and he goes hey brother can you help me [TS]

00:40:51   out and he holds out the pack of [TS]

00:40:54   cigarettes then I'm standing there you [TS]

00:40:55   know trying to be trying to be real cool [TS]

00:40:57   real street and I don't know what he's I [TS]

00:40:59   don't always ask him to help him out [TS]

00:41:01   this point is pack of cigarettes at me [TS]

00:41:03   I'm like yeah sure man what a what's [TS]

00:41:08   going on you know and I kind of hold [TS]

00:41:10   might like it [TS]

00:41:11   hold my hand up like I'm gonna kind of [TS]

00:41:12   high-five his cigarette pack or whatever [TS]

00:41:14   he's like uh it does help me out your [TS]

00:41:18   brother you know and I realized he's [TS]

00:41:20   looking for looking for a fire wingman [TS]

00:41:22   please let my cigarette though he's only [TS]

00:41:24   got one arm you can open his pack of [TS]

00:41:26   cigarettes right and so oh oh I get it I [TS]

00:41:30   get it I get it okay on you want me to [TS]

00:41:32   open your package cigarettes i got it [TS]

00:41:33   you know all these guys dinner like yeah [TS]

00:41:37   so like I grabbed this pack of [TS]

00:41:42   cigarettes horrible but also for a [TS]

00:41:46   collective group of people just like six [TS]

00:41:48   guys it's raining always get out of the [TS]

00:41:51   soup kitchen live there [TS]

00:41:53   and he comes over to me because I'm like [TS]

00:41:56   the one guy he thinks I'm just gonna run [TS]

00:41:58   off with his cigarettes or whatever but [TS]

00:42:00   at this point in my life I'm 17 years [TS]

00:42:02   old I've never opened to pack of [TS]

00:42:04   cigarettes in my life and I stick my [TS]

00:42:06   finger in one end of the top of the pack [TS]

00:42:09   of cigarettes and just pull across the [TS]

00:42:12   top of the back like like I'm opening a [TS]

00:42:15   bag of chips and this guy who's [TS]

00:42:20   expecting me to open the pack of [TS]

00:42:21   cigarettes like a guy you know you take [TS]

00:42:24   the cellophane and then you rip the [TS]

00:42:26   little one side of the the foil you're [TS]

00:42:29   ripping two different ways and open it [TS]

00:42:31   up and fold it back so that so that you [TS]

00:42:33   can tap out one cigarette a time you [TS]

00:42:35   know I rip this thing open like a bag of [TS]

00:42:38   Fritos and this one-armed guy goes [TS]

00:42:41   ballistic [TS]

00:42:42   he's like what the fuck are you doing [TS]

00:42:44   man why'd you fuck up my cigarette pack [TS]

00:42:47   god stop got Apple stupid bullshit abs [TS]

00:42:52   the cigarettes out of my head you know [TS]

00:42:53   now he's got this cut basically like a [TS]

00:42:57   paper cup full of cigarettes but he's [TS]

00:42:59   gotta figure out how to keep out of the [TS]

00:43:01   rain and these storms off he's screaming [TS]

00:43:05   at me from across the Pioneer Square you [TS]

00:43:08   know like that ass all over never going [TS]

00:43:10   to happen to have a diameter i'm [TS]

00:43:12   standing looking around for that these [TS]

00:43:14   other guys for some support and they're [TS]

00:43:15   all [TS]

00:43:16   yeah so I was so humiliated and so you [TS]

00:43:23   know just like new new [TS]

00:43:27   yeah that you're the fish in the cell [TS]

00:43:29   there who I kills you're like just that [TS]

00:43:32   just kills your hobo credit if you [TS]

00:43:34   didn't make a single cup [TS]

00:43:35   yeah yeah yeah no such a play with such [TS]

00:43:38   a fox pass but I mean my hobo cred was [TS]

00:43:40   already kind of in question because I [TS]

00:43:42   had I had a peach fuzz beard and I think [TS]

00:43:45   I was probably still wearing that same [TS]

00:43:47   patchwork plaid shirt that i thought was [TS]

00:43:49   so cool i might have even had a bandana [TS]

00:43:51   tied around my neck of it out [TS]

00:43:53   whatever it was like an eight-year-old [TS]

00:43:58   assistance he likes trains yeah these [TS]

00:44:00   guys were these guys were drinking [TS]

00:44:02   sterno haha that was like hey fellas I [TS]

00:44:06   help you with that straight life sure is [TS]

00:44:09   tough so how'd you lose the arm [TS]

00:44:12   yeah yeah I got a couple years of my [TS]

00:44:21   life that down there like you know hey [TS]

00:44:23   Gigi would do is to do like hers fellas [TS]

00:44:26   was Vietnam like other it's it's brutal [TS]

00:44:30   that's address exactly the same way now [TS]

00:44:32   but then when you when you have you know [TS]

00:44:34   when you when you had your tough times [TS]

00:44:36   there you you aren't too too far off [TS]

00:44:38   from that I mean probably make that [TS]

00:44:40   noise but no no anyways were like that i [TS]

00:44:44   made that noise sure enough the middle [TS]

00:44:46   and that's the thing it doesn't take you [TS]

00:44:47   long if that's what you're looking for [TS]

00:44:49   you can you can end up in being somebody [TS]

00:44:51   like that doing is you you when you see [TS]

00:44:53   it when you see a street person [TS]

00:44:54   particularly or alcoholic you know a lot [TS]

00:44:57   of street people are have legitimate [TS]

00:44:59   mental problems but if you if you want [TS]

00:45:02   to get there if you want to get to be a [TS]

00:45:03   street person just just strictly as an [TS]

00:45:06   alcoholic drug addict you can get their [TS]

00:45:08   surprisingly fast especially with the [TS]

00:45:10   crack it seems like you could be there [TS]

00:45:12   inside of a month [TS]

00:45:13   well the crack or I mean there are [TS]

00:45:16   plenty of people who have who died of [TS]

00:45:18   alcoholism in their early thirties you [TS]

00:45:21   know you just drink themselves to death [TS]

00:45:23   by the time the 33 so I mean it doesn't [TS]

00:45:27   you think when you're 22 or or whatever [TS]

00:45:30   that you're you're kind of playing a [TS]

00:45:31   game where you have to have all have a [TS]

00:45:34   thousand years to figure it out but you [TS]

00:45:37   can make a couple of couple of bad turns [TS]

00:45:39   and it only takes a couple of like oopsy [TS]

00:45:42   uh-huh and no should I lost my job in my [TS]

00:45:46   apartment in the same week and now i [TS]

00:45:49   don't have up you know now I don't have [TS]

00:45:52   anywhere to go and oh shit and then I [TS]

00:45:54   like got an infection on my toe and they [TS]

00:45:58   don't have a place where i can get dry [TS]

00:45:59   shoes [TS]

00:46:01   oh shit you know and it's just a couple [TS]

00:46:03   of things and all the sudden year you're [TS]

00:46:05   actually in real trouble and yeah it was [TS]

00:46:08   it was funny how fast i went from being [TS]

00:46:10   of like a 17 year old who didn't know [TS]

00:46:12   how to open a pack of cigarettes to [TS]

00:46:14   being somebody who you know I i could [TS]

00:46:17   look it a couple of different directions [TS]

00:46:19   be like oh there's no good there's no [TS]

00:46:21   good way this is going to turn out but I [TS]

00:46:24   mean this is a professional know and [TS]

00:46:26   it's the it's like these efforts for the [TS]

00:46:28   conventionalism like another version of [TS]

00:46:30   like being this in my case of suburban [TS]

00:46:32   kid where I could I could hold these two [TS]

00:46:34   ideas in my mind on the one hand i [TS]

00:46:36   wanted to be like somebody i proceeded [TS]

00:46:38   to be from a Tom Waits song or maybe [TS]

00:46:40   like Mickey Rourke in barfly or just [TS]

00:46:42   don't like that wasted right but then I [TS]

00:46:44   also wanted my mom to pick me up because [TS]

00:46:46   I feel like walking home from the mall [TS]

00:46:48   yeah there's the enemy's due to [TS]

00:46:50   completely to completely like you know [TS]

00:46:52   irreconcilable things one that is the [TS]

00:46:55   thing if you if you spend much time with [TS]

00:46:57   Bukowski or a or Kerouac or any of the [TS]

00:47:01   great drugs they all want their mom to [TS]

00:47:02   pick them up [TS]

00:47:03   you know that's the thing they want to [TS]

00:47:05   go through a lot of moms but Williams [TS]

00:47:07   right the ones that managed to write [TS]

00:47:09   their their dramatic elegantly wasted [TS]

00:47:11   story down they had so many moms picking [TS]

00:47:13   them up you remember kowski Bukowski was [TS]

00:47:16   such a little crybaby little brat you [TS]

00:47:18   know maybe so do you really think that's [TS]

00:47:20   true you don't think you don't think [TS]

00:47:21   there's a persona was the cry baby brat [TS]

00:47:24   or them with the tough-guy alcohol i [TS]

00:47:27   don't know i mean i-i think you can talk [TS]

00:47:29   in the same way that you could I talk [TS]

00:47:30   yourself into being a hobo I I wonder [TS]

00:47:32   sometimes especially with hunter s [TS]

00:47:33   thompson and Bukowski i read a letter [TS]

00:47:36   from him [TS]

00:47:37   I don't have a couple things for him he [TS]

00:47:39   was a very very good writer [TS]

00:47:41   I mean he was not like a deranged man [TS]

00:47:42   all right you know what I mean it's [TS]

00:47:44   funny it's the same old things like Oh [TS]

00:47:45   Hemingway drink a lot so I'm gonna drink [TS]

00:47:46   a lot and then i'll be able to write the [TS]

00:47:47   old man and the sea or whatever I mean I [TS]

00:47:49   don't think that's that far off a lot of [TS]

00:47:51   people who think oh you know I read a [TS]

00:47:53   little bit of both layer and and now i [TS]

00:47:54   want consumption or something or [TS]

00:47:56   syphilis [TS]

00:47:56   I think that's absolutely true Bukowski [TS]

00:47:58   I think he thought he would drink and [TS]

00:47:59   drink himself into being Hemingway and [TS]

00:48:01   eat he turned out to be pretty good at [TS]

00:48:03   it i think the drinking the death part [TS]

00:48:05   yeah and the being anyway I mean I think [TS]

00:48:07   his book i think his poetry is great i [TS]

00:48:10   mean his books are all the same but i [TS]

00:48:11   think his poetry is some of them [TS]

00:48:14   some of the best well to me I don't know [TS]

00:48:16   I should come up with a name for this [TS]

00:48:17   like him hundreds Thompson Joni Mitchell [TS]

00:48:20   neil young Bob Dylan there are these [TS]

00:48:22   people who spawned so many horrible [TS]

00:48:26   imitators that you almost wish they [TS]

00:48:28   hadn't existed but there's so many [TS]

00:48:30   people I like hunter s thompson is [TS]

00:48:31   writing so much but I like hundreds [TS]

00:48:33   Thompson's writing the people the people [TS]

00:48:35   who decided to try and ate what they [TS]

00:48:37   perceive to be his persona and then kind [TS]

00:48:39   of half-assed their way through this [TS]

00:48:40   this style of writing that didn't have [TS]

00:48:42   the same editorial care that he did like [TS]

00:48:44   use it [TS]

00:48:44   he was a really good writer he meant [TS]

00:48:46   every word of that to sound that way you [TS]

00:48:49   know it wasn't he wasn't just a deranged [TS]

00:48:50   guy at the airport [TS]

00:48:51   you know he created that that feeling in [TS]

00:48:53   that tone and who wrote done Bukowski [TS]

00:48:56   right [TS]

00:48:56   barfly they write that oh yeah yeah but [TS]

00:48:59   I mean you have to have your senses the [TS]

00:49:00   problem you know it's a glam Faulkner [TS]

00:49:02   wrote he drank when he wasn't drinking [TS]

00:49:05   excuse me he drank when he wasn't [TS]

00:49:06   writing like either because he was done [TS]

00:49:08   with the project because he was you know [TS]

00:49:10   what I'm saying [TS]

00:49:11   did not sit down and get drunk in order [TS]

00:49:13   right it's like it's such a turn-on it's [TS]

00:49:15   such a cop-out it's something that seems [TS]

00:49:16   so romantic [TS]

00:49:17   when you're younger like me sitting [TS]

00:49:18   there with a hat i bought at goodwill [TS]

00:49:20   and a manual typewriter like thinking [TS]

00:49:22   that I was going to be you know anybody [TS]

00:49:24   that has a manual typewriter a hat was [TS]

00:49:25   ridiculous [TS]

00:49:26   your kids are stupid fucks so fucking [TS]

00:49:28   stupid we can't put them in camps yet so [TS]

00:49:31   i think we are there were getting closer [TS]

00:49:32   we're getting closer all the time I [TS]

00:49:34   think people are fed up I've been [TS]

00:49:35   talking to people about i am not the [TS]

00:49:36   only one I think I think the sympathy [TS]

00:49:39   for teenagers in particular is is [TS]

00:49:41   plummeting really oh I do you know the [TS]

00:49:44   total idea teenagers we invented that [TS]

00:49:46   that's an invention [TS]

00:49:47   yeah that's true that's a technology its [TS]

00:49:48   well you go back you go back to any [TS]

00:49:50   other any other century before the 20th [TS]

00:49:52   century there was no such thing as not [TS]

00:49:54   even a twentieth-century my mom talks [TS]

00:49:56   about it leaves a 5250 yeah but being a [TS]

00:50:01   teenager in the fifties and she said [TS]

00:50:04   that there was absolutely no interest [TS]

00:50:06   among her peers in being anything other [TS]

00:50:10   than adult as soon as you possibly could [TS]

00:50:13   because your child until you became an [TS]

00:50:15   adult [TS]

00:50:15   that's right you think it was like they [TS]

00:50:17   were like r-rated movies or something [TS]

00:50:19   so my mom when I think about when I [TS]

00:50:21   think about her life she turned 21 [TS]

00:50:24   [Music] [TS]

00:50:25   in 1955 which was the birth of rock and [TS]

00:50:30   roll [TS]

00:50:30   uh-huh and she was living in ohio which [TS]

00:50:35   was like the heart of where [TS]

00:50:37   rock-and-roll really caught fire and she [TS]

00:50:41   worked at a radio station you know she [TS]

00:50:44   worked over to the television station [TS]

00:50:45   but she you know she was friends with [TS]

00:50:47   DJs and Elvis and Jerry Lee Lewis and [TS]

00:50:53   and Fats Domino and all this stuff was [TS]

00:50:56   happening right there and I've [TS]

00:50:58   Christopher million times it was like [TS]

00:50:59   you know was there because we think [TS]

00:51:01   about a twenty-one-year-old right now 21 [TS]

00:51:04   and those your prime like that if if if [TS]

00:51:08   there if there is a rock music scene [TS]

00:51:09   happening like you're 21 years old [TS]

00:51:12   you're in the heart of it right that's [TS]

00:51:13   that's the beginning of your rock [TS]

00:51:15   appreciation years but differently you [TS]

00:51:18   can't you couldn't fathom a world in [TS]

00:51:20   which somebody 21 with direct access to [TS]

00:51:22   rock and roll would not be steeped in at [TS]

00:51:23   22 hours a day [TS]

00:51:25   yeah and she said that was music that [TS]

00:51:27   was music and culture for little [TS]

00:51:30   children and I was 21 and so I was [TS]

00:51:34   wearing white gloves and a pillbox hat [TS]

00:51:37   and was going to I guess is right before [TS]

00:51:39   the pillbox happen when I was wearing [TS]

00:51:41   adult clothes and i was listening to [TS]

00:51:43   smooth jazz which is what adults did and [TS]

00:51:46   the end there was no i wasn't gonna go [TS]

00:51:48   sit in a crowd of of little girls like [TS]

00:51:51   screaming at some greaser right I was [TS]

00:51:54   like well i hear ya you know and she's [TS]

00:51:59   like that's some kind of this whole [TS]

00:52:01   business of T of being a teenager was [TS]

00:52:04   invented right then and didn't exist [TS]

00:52:07   before really before bro or two and and [TS]

00:52:12   the idea that you could be a 27 year old [TS]

00:52:13   teenager you know that's only 15 years [TS]

00:52:16   old but now this I was so I was so you [TS]

00:52:21   know it's funny as you get older and you [TS]

00:52:22   make these connections you figure out [TS]

00:52:23   things like oh my god my friends parents [TS]

00:52:25   wedding date is no fewer than nine [TS]

00:52:28   months after you don't mean like you [TS]

00:52:30   figure out these oh my God all these [TS]

00:52:31   things we go oh my gosh this is not what [TS]

00:52:32   it appears to be like they were pregnant [TS]

00:52:34   she's bringing when they got me [TS]

00:52:35   hi marcus when I will suddenly realized [TS]

00:52:38   oh my god [TS]

00:52:38   you used to be young and like this [TS]

00:52:41   beatles album was out when you were you [TS]

00:52:45   know she was in her twenties but I was [TS]

00:52:47   like oh my gosh that you can add like [TS]

00:52:49   really into like into the beatles and [TS]

00:52:50   they're like oh I mean and I don't know [TS]

00:52:52   if this is not what your mom was saying [TS]

00:52:54   but in that case it was like you [TS]

00:52:55   understand now where this is from [TS]

00:52:56   southern Ohio so there's the Indian [TS]

00:52:58   influence as you know [TS]

00:52:59   yeah southern Ohio is might as well be a [TS]

00:53:00   politer out we yeah we you better people [TS]

00:53:04   better might as well be that little true [TS]

00:53:06   southern Ohio is Dixie I've only ever [TS]

00:53:09   heard secondhand ever heard people use [TS]

00:53:11   the phrase race music but i think that [TS]

00:53:13   might as well and yet ironically know [TS]

00:53:16   you don't mean it was something was de [TS]

00:53:18   clase or as your power column below it [TS]

00:53:20   was ghosh it wasn't the kind of thing [TS]

00:53:22   that an adult would listen to and so she [TS]

00:53:24   was they were really in a king cole and [TS]

00:53:26   and that was the coolest thing they're [TS]

00:53:27   into his neck and Cole after the trio [TS]

00:53:30   like him singing I'm talking about like [TS]

00:53:31   they're in a mantovani they were they [TS]

00:53:33   were originally it was called beautiful [TS]

00:53:35   music right now that you did that's what [TS]

00:53:37   you did [TS]

00:53:38   yeah yeah I in fact I i think i think my [TS]

00:53:42   mom said the first Beatles song that [TS]

00:53:43   really connected with her she said that [TS]

00:53:46   we met when yesterday came out that was [TS]

00:53:49   the sort of the beatles that converted [TS]

00:53:53   that the whole generation of adults who [TS]

00:53:57   were they realized oh these these teeny [TS]

00:54:00   boppers actually are writing actually [TS]

00:54:03   capable of writing beautiful music [TS]

00:54:05   because yesterday was a song that [TS]

00:54:07   appealed across generations in class and [TS]

00:54:11   and when that song came out the way my [TS]

00:54:13   mom describes that you know even my dad [TS]

00:54:15   who was who was by that time 45 years [TS]

00:54:19   old even he appreciated that song [TS]

00:54:22   Frank Sinatra appreciated that song like [TS]

00:54:26   it was that was the moment that the [TS]

00:54:27   Beatles grew up and became something [TS]

00:54:30   that you could that you could say that [TS]

00:54:32   you can appreciate being something other [TS]

00:54:35   than just for children never and and [TS]

00:54:39   that always stuck with me like you think [TS]

00:54:41   about yesterday as being just one of the [TS]

00:54:43   many great people songs but to think of [TS]

00:54:44   it as a watershed moment [TS]

00:54:46   in their own career where they were they [TS]

00:54:48   were growing up and that's like the most [TS]

00:54:50   covered song of all time the most [TS]

00:54:52   covered songs of all time because every [TS]

00:54:54   single person in the world looks back at [TS]

00:54:57   their past and wishes they had done it [TS]

00:55:00   differently [TS]

00:55:00   yeah houses this is really this is a [TS]

00:55:03   good one [TS]

00:55:04   this is going to really look at it it's [TS]

00:55:07   just constant let me ask you this did [TS]

00:55:10   you how much do you worry about Venus [TS]

00:55:14   like I i am finally accepting the extent [TS]

00:55:17   to which i just could fucking care less [TS]

00:55:20   about almost everything you know I think [TS]

00:55:22   that letter birds fun i believe is the [TS]

00:55:24   one who said that you're not you're not [TS]

00:55:25   obligated to appreciate any music that [TS]

00:55:26   was written during your lifetime but [TS]

00:55:28   something like that but like right now [TS]

00:55:30   like I just I hear that hear everything [TS]

00:55:31   comes out and I I sound like the kind of [TS]

00:55:34   people i hated when I was 16 [TS]

00:55:36   because I it just it really i mean like [TS]

00:55:38   it even want to hear like a really good [TS]

00:55:39   like any rock band I'm like okay that [TS]

00:55:41   sounds like a not as good version of the [TS]

00:55:42   Buzzcocks or whatever I don't like what [TS]

00:55:44   you like now you this is your part of [TS]

00:55:46   the industry you have to know these [TS]

00:55:48   things you have to keep up-to-date right [TS]

00:55:49   mm you feared you fear the focus you [TS]

00:55:51   kind of always been filling in some ways [TS]

00:55:53   right well that's exactly right i mean i [TS]

00:55:55   remember when i was 16 years old [TS]

00:55:57   a friend of mine and I were over at his [TS]

00:55:59   house and he was one of those kids that [TS]

00:56:01   called his parents by their first name [TS]

00:56:03   and it's not because they were hippies [TS]

00:56:05   it was because they were they were like [TS]

00:56:09   I don't know what I i never understood [TS]

00:56:11   their family that family dynamic but [TS]

00:56:12   this kid's name was Eric and his his [TS]

00:56:15   dad's name is Dean and his mom's name [TS]

00:56:17   was ed and he called demon ed and we [TS]

00:56:21   were over at demon eighties so we of [TS]

00:56:23   course we all did you know there are [TS]

00:56:25   other DVD Spurlock's and his mom said to [TS]

00:56:32   us kind of this is one of those things [TS]

00:56:34   that I'm I'm always careful not to say [TS]

00:56:36   to kids [TS]

00:56:37   I'm always careful not to talk to [TS]

00:56:38   teenagers this way because everyone's [TS]

00:56:40   well somebody would say this some [TS]

00:56:42   well-meaning adult would say this type [TS]

00:56:43   of thing to me and it really you know [TS]

00:56:46   your mind works on it for years [TS]

00:56:47   afterwards but she said she said to me [TS]

00:56:50   and her son she was like um listen boys [TS]

00:56:52   I know your peers don't think you're [TS]

00:56:55   handsome now [TS]

00:56:56   but you're both very handsome men and [TS]

00:56:59   you just haven't grown into it yet but [TS]

00:57:02   rest assure the criminal perspective you [TS]

00:57:05   guys are both going to be very handsome [TS]

00:57:07   man and you just relax don't worry that [TS]

00:57:09   you are awkward that she actually think [TS]

00:57:12   that was going to be helpful at uniting [TS]

00:57:13   don't worry that you are awkward ugly [TS]

00:57:15   unappealing teenagers because you have [TS]

00:57:17   you are clearly going to grow up and be [TS]

00:57:20   handsome men and we were both like blue [TS]

00:57:22   and kind of Sally Roe looked at each [TS]

00:57:25   other when she said this to us as we're [TS]

00:57:26   walking out the door like on our way out [TS]

00:57:28   like bye see you later she was like oh [TS]

00:57:31   by the way boys just one last thing [TS]

00:57:33   before you go [TS]

00:57:34   and so we go get in his car were both [TS]

00:57:35   like oh and he's like ah you know sorry [TS]

00:57:41   my mom sometimes I was like no no it's [TS]

00:57:43   fine it's fine you know we're both like [TS]

00:57:45   turning it over months for handsome men [TS]

00:57:48   ok but where unappealing teenagers all [TS]

00:57:51   right uh no [TS]

00:57:53   and at that moment I knew that I was an [TS]

00:57:57   old fogey you know she planted in my [TS]

00:58:00   mind the idea that Mike mark best years [TS]

00:58:03   were always gonna be in front of me I [TS]

00:58:05   was always going to be chasing after the [TS]

00:58:08   you know I'm gonna be one of those [TS]

00:58:10   people that becomes becomes beautiful as [TS]

00:58:13   he becomes the gray you know like and so [TS]

00:58:20   I've never I've never been worried about [TS]

00:58:22   being hip but what I what I'm noticing [TS]

00:58:23   now as i get older is that I have to [TS]

00:58:28   resist the fatalism that comes with that [TS]

00:58:31   but they're like well fuck it you know [TS]

00:58:35   000 people get fat so why not just let [TS]

00:58:39   it happen or like you kids go run and [TS]

00:58:42   play [TS]

00:58:43   I'll just sit here and sort rust emails [TS]

00:58:46   into different jars should know like I [TS]

00:58:50   have no worry about me i got the nail [TS]

00:58:52   jars i got my nail jars i got some [TS]

00:58:54   screws over here get to or i can finish [TS]

00:58:56   the males and and I got all these cans i [TS]

00:59:01   think about worry about becoming [TS]

00:59:03   calcified or or inflexible you know the [TS]

00:59:06   same kind of people who said you know [TS]

00:59:07   who [TS]

00:59:08   look down their nose at the bread you [TS]

00:59:09   know whatever Jerry Lee Lewis or or rap [TS]

00:59:12   music or whatever they call hip-hop now [TS]

00:59:13   that but you know I wonder what I'm [TS]

00:59:15   missing out on by being the way I am [TS]

00:59:18   but then I see teenagers i get so [TS]

00:59:19   fucking angry i see themselves and only [TS]

00:59:22   thing to do with that like I want all of [TS]

00:59:23   you to be put somewhere because [TS]

00:59:24   everything you're doing is wrong [TS]

00:59:26   yeah the secret to the 20 to the fact [TS]

00:59:29   that like I don't understand [TS]

00:59:31   I really don't understand video games [TS]

00:59:33   that that that require tremendous [TS]

00:59:37   investment of time and practice that's [TS]

00:59:40   actually that's a perfect example [TS]

00:59:42   you know what I mean like I don't [TS]

00:59:43   understand them I i played video games [TS]

00:59:46   when i was a kid i was there at the [TS]

00:59:47   birth of video games as a kid I was [TS]

00:59:50   their target audience but I didn't make [TS]

00:59:52   the transition to first-person shooter [TS]

00:59:54   games I didn't make the transition from [TS]

00:59:55   the video games it wasn't it wasn't like [TS]

00:59:58   you said there with a headset planes [TS]

00:59:58   you said there with a headset planes [TS]

01:00:00   that's for 16 hours a day but but I I [TS]

01:00:03   fully understand i see in the culture i [TS]

01:00:06   see that video game that internet that [TS]

01:00:09   immersive video games are are simply a [TS]

01:00:13   thing that i do not understand they I [TS]

01:00:17   can I i am not in a position to say to [TS]

01:00:20   make a value judgment about them because [TS]

01:00:21   they are simply I think I do not [TS]

01:00:23   understand and and there was a while I [TS]

01:00:27   think what I would have said that they [TS]

01:00:29   were bullshit but that is where that [TS]

01:00:31   that is coming from the same voice of [TS]

01:00:33   somebody that says that Elvis is jungle [TS]

01:00:35   music or right now it's the same [TS]

01:00:37   ignorance that that the only way you can [TS]

01:00:39   express your ignorance is it as like [TS]

01:00:42   Angry contempt or whatever and so I have [TS]

01:00:45   to say I have to step out i act like i [TS]

01:00:46   have i've completely stepped away from [TS]

01:00:48   the conversation about hip hop in [TS]

01:00:50   American culture because i was i was [TS]

01:00:53   very invested in hip hop up to a point [TS]

01:00:55   and then it lost me and then I then it [TS]

01:01:01   went into a realm where and now I don't [TS]

01:01:04   relate to it I there's very little [TS]

01:01:05   hip-hop now that I really to it all but [TS]

01:01:08   just to make any comment about it i is [TS]

01:01:11   just just it [TS]

01:01:12   the only thing i can say with authority [TS]

01:01:13   is I don't understand it [TS]

01:01:15   good luck god bless I cannot I cannot [TS]

01:01:18   make a value judgment about modern hip [TS]

01:01:20   hop because I just don't have not [TS]

01:01:22   invested the time to understand that so [TS]

01:01:26   that's that's where I am with video [TS]

01:01:27   games I I feel this I mean I I at least [TS]

01:01:30   have hopefully the presence of mind to [TS]

01:01:32   go there must be something here I have [TS]

01:01:33   lots of friends who are really smart [TS]

01:01:35   my concern with the video games I think [TS]

01:01:36   it's way bigger than I ever expected or [TS]

01:01:38   ever will get yeah and i think there's [TS]

01:01:40   this whole thing it's like I refuse to [TS]

01:01:42   believe in cars or something you know [TS]

01:01:44   what I mean I i was watching thing I [TS]

01:01:46   don't know how I got here I was [TS]

01:01:48   searching the internet as you do and i [TS]

01:01:52   got to a thing and I got to another [TS]

01:01:53   thing and I was in that somebody was [TS]

01:01:55   pranking somebody and I was watching a [TS]

01:01:57   YouTube video of somebody get pranked [TS]

01:01:58   and then you over on the side there's [TS]

01:02:00   all these like if you like that youtube [TS]

01:02:01   video you should watch this and side i'm [TS]

01:02:04   following a chain and I get to this [TS]

01:02:07   YouTube video [TS]

01:02:08   we're guy has screen captured himself [TS]

01:02:14   playing a video game and he and and then [TS]

01:02:18   the point of the video is that he is a [TS]

01:02:21   pirate and other people are playing this [TS]

01:02:24   multi multiplayer game and it's a [TS]

01:02:27   civilization game out in space where [TS]

01:02:29   they have battleships and they're [TS]

01:02:30   sailing from different planets and [TS]

01:02:32   they're collecting resources and all [TS]

01:02:34   this type of thing and he is he screen [TS]

01:02:37   capturing himself stealing somebody [TS]

01:02:41   else's battleship and then realizing it [TS]

01:02:44   because they're all talking to each [TS]

01:02:45   other you know what i mean and i'm [TS]

01:02:47   watching this video and and what's on [TS]

01:02:50   the screen is just gibberish to me it's [TS]

01:02:52   like a okay we're in outer space and [TS]

01:02:54   they see little their little menus on [TS]

01:02:58   either side of the screen and obviously [TS]

01:03:00   somebody has a collection of battleships [TS]

01:03:04   somewhere and and this guy is kind of [TS]

01:03:06   typing at the bottom like now I'm going [TS]

01:03:08   to steal their battleship watch this and [TS]

01:03:10   you hear people talking they're like [TS]

01:03:11   wait a minute where's battleship X and [TS]

01:03:15   and you feel them the dawning [TS]

01:03:17   realization that someone has just as [TS]

01:03:19   just rip them off and as I'm watching [TS]

01:03:23   this five minute long video I realized [TS]

01:03:25   these people have been playing this game [TS]

01:03:26   three years and that in this alternate [TS]

01:03:30   reality they have a gift that they are [TS]

01:03:34   completely invested in their identities [TS]

01:03:36   there and and it filled me with a with a [TS]

01:03:39   sense of a filthy with a deep sorrow in [TS]

01:03:41   the sense that humankind is not actually [TS]

01:03:44   exploring in outer space you are you [TS]

01:03:46   cannot no matter how hard you work [TS]

01:03:49   actually have a fleet of battleships by [TS]

01:03:53   the Tannhauser gate and watch the seed [TS]

01:03:56   beams glitter you know like there's no [TS]

01:03:59   we are not there yet but these these [TS]

01:04:02   people playing this game are living it [TS]

01:04:04   in their imaginations in this other [TS]

01:04:07   world in their living in the future in [TS]

01:04:10   the future and when they log off their [TS]

01:04:13   computer and have to go downstairs and [TS]

01:04:14   eat their macaroni and cheese or when [TS]

01:04:16   they have to log off in the morning and [TS]

01:04:18   go to work at their job [TS]

01:04:20   like reality cannot possibly compare to [TS]

01:04:23   this to the intrigue and the dynamism of [TS]

01:04:27   this online world and I just was like oh [TS]

01:04:30   my god I i I'd I don't grab like I [TS]

01:04:33   finally grasped the littlest bit of what [TS]

01:04:36   that what being really a gamer is and I [TS]

01:04:42   you know and it's like with chilled me [TS]

01:04:44   that's a lot of investment you too [TS]

01:04:47   well they're investing all what what [TS]

01:04:49   they're investing all the energy that [TS]

01:04:51   they would be investing in I guess what [TS]

01:04:54   made that but I'm having I have to guess [TS]

01:04:56   what made that interesting was that [TS]

01:04:57   somebody put a lot of effort into [TS]

01:04:59   getting them battleship is equal to like [TS]

01:05:01   stealing somebody's house or something [TS]

01:05:02   yeah I was it was they were you were [TS]

01:05:04   stealing something real from them which [TS]

01:05:06   was the time they had put into earning [TS]

01:05:09   that in this in this game world we [TS]

01:05:11   shouldn't talk about this that is that [TS]

01:05:13   is so fucking depressing thoughts and [TS]

01:05:16   particularly with the one that won games [TS]

01:05:17   like figure out ways to at to have these [TS]

01:05:21   these resources within the game be worth [TS]

01:05:23   real money in the outside world [TS]

01:05:25   you know I don't know I don't know [TS]

01:05:27   they're going to be people who are [TS]

01:05:28   millionaires and what they have done is [TS]

01:05:31   stolen other people's battleships in [TS]

01:05:34   fake outer space and that it may become [TS]

01:05:38   millionaires in the real world from that [TS]

01:05:40   implies a nicer macaroni and cheese that [TS]

01:05:43   is that's already happening you know [TS]

01:05:44   there are already people something and [TS]

01:05:46   this is the shows were older we're [TS]

01:05:47   talking about any of this to project [TS]

01:05:49   their eyes but I don't know they're all [TS]

01:05:51   are all our listeners that have green [TS]

01:05:53   hair and nose piercings are like come on [TS]

01:05:55   granddad understand that not only can [TS]

01:05:58   you find an automobile and drive it you [TS]

01:06:01   can hire somebody who for a living [TS]

01:06:03   drives cars yet tell him where you want [TS]

01:06:06   to go you don't have to feed it not but [TS]

01:06:09   gasps apart and he'll drive it anywhere [TS]

01:06:12   no it doesn't stop there he's got a [TS]

01:06:15   telephone in his pocket that he can use [TS]

01:06:17   to make a map show [TS]

01:06:19   oh we boldly well they're out there [TS]

01:06:23   they're out there they're cashing their [TS]

01:06:25   bitcoins right now to have a higher [TS]

01:06:27   somebody on the Deep Web on the silk [TS]

01:06:30   road to come kill us both [TS]

01:06:32   what's inside of [TS]

01:06:34   poisoned dart maybe they could sell that [TS]

01:06:36   battleship and amazon shipped my hug [TS]

01:06:37   i'll also you hug for five bucks just [TS]

01:06:42   come and work with your net on that [TS]

01:06:43   which had on hugs i was making bank on [TS]

01:06:46   hugs [TS]

01:06:47   lu two three four once you've got [TS]

01:06:49   economies of scale in his arms [TS]

01:06:51   the problem is there's always somebody [TS]

01:06:52   comes up because do I really have to pay [TS]

01:06:54   five bucks for a hug and I feel like a [TS]

01:06:57   jerk say yeah he say do I really have to [TS]

01:06:59   answer you only two dollars like if here [TS]

01:07:02   here's what I'm going to say from here [TS]

01:07:03   on out if you don't want to pay five [TS]

01:07:05   bucks for a hug then I give you the hug [TS]

01:07:08   of my choice [TS]

01:07:09   hmm i give you the hug i want to give [TS]

01:07:12   not the hug you want and that's gonna [TS]

01:07:15   that's going to dissuade some people and [TS]

01:07:17   your problem is you're you're like [TS]

01:07:19   you're like a museum when you've got [TS]

01:07:21   like the suggested donation box you need [TS]

01:07:23   some way where there is a portcullis or [TS]

01:07:24   something where they can get near you [TS]

01:07:25   came and asked questions about that shit [TS]

01:07:27   right I need a merch girl who's standing [TS]

01:07:29   there taking five bucks and given [TS]

01:07:30   tickets you somebody somebody somebody [TS]

01:07:32   pick who says you need a strong question [TS]

01:07:34   when they take cross my palm right cross [TS]

01:07:37   my palm [TS]

01:07:37   nothing is if people want a hug for less [TS]

01:07:40   than five bucks and I get to grope them [TS]

01:07:43   inappropriately for my own amusement [TS]

01:07:45   right then I feel like I'm getting five [TS]

01:07:47   bucks worth if they if they would if [TS]

01:07:50   they if they knowingly come in under the [TS]

01:07:53   under the under the new rules that i get [TS]

01:07:55   to do whatever I want [TS]

01:07:57   that's worth five bucks you can have me [TS]

01:07:59   there they've open to negotiation not [TS]

01:08:01   you that's right so if if part of my hug [TS]

01:08:04   is that I grab the back of their [TS]

01:08:05   underpants and pull real hard you get a [TS]

01:08:07   real good grip on the saddle backs [TS]

01:08:09   yeah I wouldn't have done that if they [TS]

01:08:11   had paid me five bucks but that's the [TS]

01:08:12   but they were like let's let's let's [TS]

01:08:16   wrangle got my haircut yesterday and was [TS]

01:08:19   getting my hair cut at the lake of my [TS]

01:08:21   hair and there's somebody else and she's [TS]

01:08:22   watching a little tiny TV with the [TS]

01:08:23   volume turned up really really loud i [TS]

01:08:25   couldn't see what was on the screen but [TS]

01:08:26   you know in the 20 minutes it took for [TS]

01:08:29   this haircut a definite volume they were [TS]

01:08:31   watching TV program and that is plastic [TS]

01:08:35   surgeries and so there's there's live [TS]

01:08:37   like this showing plastic surgeries and [TS]

01:08:40   as I SAT there and I don't know I like [TS]

01:08:42   I'm not super creeped out by stuff but I [TS]

01:08:44   mean I'm get a procedure here there's [TS]

01:08:45   somebody with with scissors [TS]

01:08:47   cutting part of my body mmm and it was [TS]

01:08:49   like every time they come back from the [TS]

01:08:50   commercial be like what's really [TS]

01:08:52   disturbing something i recommend for [TS]

01:08:53   children and then go now we're guess you [TS]

01:08:55   can see as we get in here and we make [TS]

01:08:56   the incision we're removing the fat pads [TS]

01:08:59   and now we're gonna show you by [TS]

01:09:00   demonstrating on this avocado what we [TS]

01:09:02   can do with the laser and she stays out [TS]

01:09:03   of the Sun that skin should say so how [TS]

01:09:04   does that feel it feels better fucking [TS]

01:09:07   blew my mind there's a TV show about [TS]

01:09:09   about their than when they show you [TS]

01:09:10   plastic surgery [TS]

01:09:11   have you seen this before I haven't but [TS]

01:09:13   I know that plastic surgery is one of [TS]

01:09:15   the you know everybody has the fantasy [TS]

01:09:17   that with a little nip and talk they [TS]

01:09:21   will go from being hideous too beautiful [TS]

01:09:22   so I understand why that's popular i [TS]

01:09:25   guess i just now i can think about fat [TS]

01:09:26   pads [TS]

01:09:27   what I don't understand is why I spend [TS]

01:09:29   so much time on the internet looking at [TS]

01:09:31   like fail blogs about shitty tattoos [TS]

01:09:36   I like my friends curate that for me but [TS]

01:09:40   i do enjoy them when I find them [TS]

01:09:42   yeah i don't i'm never gonna get a [TS]

01:09:43   tattoo I i know the ship is my ship has [TS]

01:09:46   sailed on that but why take so much [TS]

01:09:48   pleasure looking at other peoples curate [TS]

01:09:51   curations like tumblr pages of people's [TS]

01:09:54   ill-advised tattoos i don't know i don't [TS]

01:09:57   know why i like it's like it's like a [TS]

01:09:59   misspelling a misspelling in a tattoo or [TS]

01:10:02   like some some somewhere where the [TS]

01:10:04   tattoo started and you could tell that [TS]

01:10:06   the person didn't have a have a complete [TS]

01:10:09   grasp of perspective okay someone the [TS]

01:10:11   other day where you ATT Brett's got a [TS]

01:10:13   greater gallery was it was an American [TS]

01:10:16   flag that was that was flapping in the [TS]

01:10:17   wind but but but the but the folds in [TS]

01:10:21   the flag any fool could tell that if you [TS]

01:10:24   straightened out that flag would be like [TS]

01:10:26   15 feet long and the person who has [TS]

01:10:29   curated this blog took the took the time [TS]

01:10:32   to count the count the stripes on the [TS]

01:10:35   flag and in the first the first the [TS]

01:10:38   first curve and had eleven stripes and [TS]

01:10:42   then had 14 stripes that drives drives [TS]

01:10:44   and it so it's a 15 foot long flag which [TS]

01:10:48   has not been a different numbers of [TS]

01:10:50   stripes throughout its length and only [TS]

01:10:52   at nine stars was just like that's [TS]

01:10:54   wonderful but the emphasis of argument [TS]

01:10:57   though it's a printer pro-america [TS]

01:10:59   patriotic kind of flag [TS]

01:11:00   spot it's not it's not about the complex [TS]

01:11:02   nature of statehood no no not at all it [TS]

01:11:05   was about and I think I think it [TS]

01:11:06   expressed perfectly that the tattoo [TS]

01:11:07   artist began the tattoo with no [TS]

01:11:11   forethought and said I know an American [TS]

01:11:14   flag and I know how this is gonna turn [TS]

01:11:16   out it's going to turn out awesome [TS]

01:11:18   yeah and just drew it like free hand and [TS]

01:11:21   just was like I know how this works that [TS]

01:11:24   is that says a lot that may be why hate [TS]

01:11:26   tattoos I really i'm always happy to [TS]

01:11:29   know that I can undo something stupid [TS]

01:11:31   that i did and for me just for myself [TS]

01:11:33   like always having that there for almost [TS]

01:11:35   everything is a great consolation for me [TS]

01:11:37   and if you have the reason I don't have [TS]

01:11:40   a tomtom I'd like a Thompson Twins [TS]

01:11:41   outlawed back from a lot of scars have [TS]

01:11:45   two scars that i know of where the two [TS]

01:11:48   scars have a very small tiny tiny tiny [TS]

01:11:51   scar under my nose or my mom [TS]

01:11:53   accidentally kicked me with your [TS]

01:11:55   fingernail which was a kid she still [TS]

01:11:56   feels about and then I have a really [TS]

01:11:58   cool scar on my leg from where I jumped [TS]

01:12:00   a ramp and got like a one-foot come out [TS]

01:12:02   now get put a half kind of my leg jump [TS]

01:12:04   the ramp on a skateboard or bike i want [TS]

01:12:07   to buy whatever the handlebars [TS]

01:12:08   yeah oh yeah what about you what you got [TS]

01:12:11   I'm covered with scars from and you're [TS]

01:12:14   like you're like wolverine and some of [TS]

01:12:16   them are gruesome and and those are like [TS]

01:12:20   tattoos those are the thing about me [TS]

01:12:22   that are like tattoos that I that some [TS]

01:12:24   of them are things that I cannot take [TS]

01:12:25   back and then add that i wish i had i [TS]

01:12:29   wish i could do it over again so that i [TS]

01:12:30   did not have it's not that the scar [TS]

01:12:32   itself is unsightly it is that the scar [TS]

01:12:35   represents now if a point of weakness of [TS]

01:12:38   physical disability in the making [TS]

01:12:41   no like the scar scar is the last [TS]

01:12:44   outward sign of some internal damage [TS]

01:12:46   that HS talking analogy or in terms of [TS]

01:12:50   bodily integrity no bodily integrity as [TS]

01:12:52   its weakened the fiber of your largest [TS]

01:12:55   organ now when i was a young person i [TS]

01:12:57   put my physical self through the paces [TS]

01:13:01   and now that I'm in my forties I feel [TS]

01:13:05   those things now I feel and it isn't [TS]

01:13:08   just like all the barometers changing [TS]

01:13:10   arigato [TS]

01:13:12   little bit of a thing in my knee it's [TS]

01:13:15   that it is that is that there are parts [TS]

01:13:18   of me that will fail before other parts [TS]

01:13:20   miserable because they have been they [TS]

01:13:24   have been compromised but you got you [TS]

01:13:26   got a few good years and you're right [TS]

01:13:27   oh yeah yeah but-but-but I mean I [TS]

01:13:30   watched because my dad also like wore [TS]

01:13:34   out his body in the pursuit of a [TS]

01:13:37   physical thrill and you know as he got [TS]

01:13:40   older she started to he started [TS]

01:13:43   diverting about the time he was 80 years [TS]

01:13:45   old and we had gone to university of [TS]

01:13:47   washington football game and I told you [TS]

01:13:49   this now I never heard it and we're [TS]

01:13:51   we're leaving the stadium and the e the [TS]

01:13:53   United football stadium is there a kind [TS]

01:13:56   of perched on a grassy hill overlooking [TS]

01:14:00   Lake Washington and after the game and [TS]

01:14:04   an R star tickets were always way up in [TS]

01:14:06   the nosebleed seats you know my dad [TS]

01:14:08   don't know why the hell he didn't pull [TS]

01:14:11   some strings or whatever but but he felt [TS]

01:14:13   like being way up in the bleachers with [TS]

01:14:15   all the undergrads was the only way to [TS]

01:14:18   watch university of washington football [TS]

01:14:20   and so I'd walk up there with him five [TS]

01:14:23   flights of stairs to to watch these [TS]

01:14:25   football games in the window in the [TS]

01:14:27   November wind we were walking across the [TS]

01:14:29   grassy field after the game and you know [TS]

01:14:33   it's it's a grassy hill and it's got [TS]

01:14:34   trees and and the cars are kind of [TS]

01:14:38   parked on the grass we're walking out to [TS]

01:14:39   our car and all of a sudden he trips on [TS]

01:14:42   our route something he's he's 80 and he [TS]

01:14:47   goes he he goes face-first down this [TS]

01:14:53   hill and I'm like it happens in super [TS]

01:14:55   slow motion like Oh dad and he's just [TS]

01:14:58   he's just too far from me that I can [TS]

01:15:00   like get under him or get in front of [TS]

01:15:02   him and and and take the brunt of the [TS]

01:15:04   fall or whatever and she heads down this [TS]

01:15:08   hill face-first you know it a swan dive [TS]

01:15:11   and somehow tuxes shoulder [TS]

01:15:16   rolls like doesn't full-on barrel roll [TS]

01:15:20   and comes out on his feet haha is 80 is [TS]

01:15:25   a be standing there like and he just [TS]

01:15:32   keeps keeps walking [TS]