0:00:00hello hi John has gone
0:00:08hi Merlin oh god this is a labor of love
0:00:11that you're even here that's gonna be
0:00:17one of many coughs I think we should
0:00:20stop right there that's so just that's
0:00:22the whole show play pong
0:00:24yeah now you're ill yeah I meal but that
0:00:28is not an uncommon thing for me
0:00:31in fact lately I've been better than
0:00:33I've ever been in my life how circle
0:00:36sick wise not mental health wise but I
0:00:39used to get sick all the time he gets
0:00:41the card i do i get really sick I get
0:00:44super sick
0:00:46yeah you're on you're almost
0:00:47preternatural so we're pretty naturally
0:00:49you're unbelievably strong is it that
0:00:52doesn't actually is a word you
0:00:53yeah i think im using it wrong you may
0:00:55be using it wrong but it is a word
0:00:57ok point taken you are you're so
0:00:59supernaturally strong in so many ways
0:01:02disturbingly strong really uh
0:01:04irresponsibly strong in so many ways but
0:01:06when it comes to getting sick you're a
0:01:07total pussy
0:01:09yeah i have several Achilles heels
0:01:11because im hit im gonna let another
0:01:14collection started because because I'm
0:01:16six-legged have five Achilles heels and
0:01:21one heel that works
0:01:23yeah and-and-and a a bad immune system
0:01:26is one of them I've always been
0:01:28I've always been quick to catch the bug
0:01:31me to on the same way I get cold sores I
0:01:35get psoriasis and I got it all I should
0:01:37be dead by now you know we you know it
0:01:39up here in the northwest we call cold
0:01:41sores stress bumps that is really it's a
0:01:45bellingham thing because nobody wants to
0:01:47admit that they have herpes so they have
0:01:50a stress bump and telling him the column
0:01:51agreement Alex
0:01:53I'm not make you laugh right here
0:01:57shooting no no it's fine
0:02:00ah yeah as then I have you know i think
0:02:02my lungs are my i am that's the part
0:02:06that there Kelly lungs that's right
0:02:08there my achilles lungs if you read The
0:02:10Iliad there's a scene where Achilles is
0:02:13leaping over the wall and any gets a
0:02:16wheeze and he had he wheezes and that's
0:02:21how they know where he is and then and
0:02:23then shoot him in the heel
0:02:25hey I wasn't that instead of classics
0:02:27and memory serves me the reason for his
0:02:30weakness is that when Moses mother kept
0:02:34him into the my desk and she held him by
0:02:36his long rights well see you've read the
0:02:39book I remind you but you've seen the
0:02:40movie at least yeah i saw Exodus we have
0:02:42one Moses puts Achilles in the mudbath
0:02:45she holds him by his long and that's why
0:02:49is he'll never grew and then the other
0:02:53place my things and some cucumber water
0:02:55and a lucky magazine who sit on the
0:02:57biosolids yeah yeah how much the Bible
0:03:00of you reading the Bible yeah i read a
0:03:02lot of it you know I because i went to
0:03:04judgment school right and I showed up
0:03:07there with a real chip on my shoulder
0:03:08and I took an old testament class by
0:03:12first quarter i'm sitting in the class
0:03:15in the and the professor comes in and
0:03:18he's a he's a he's a priest and he's an
0:03:20overweight man and he's wearing he's
0:03:23wearing his priestly garb but you can
0:03:26tell from the it so it's all black it's
0:03:29black clothes right but you can tell
0:03:30from the accumulated dander on the shirt
0:03:35its it's like he comes in and somebody
0:03:37has been it like he had just left a
0:03:39wedding where they didn't have rice to
0:03:41throw they just had salt so he's he's
0:03:44just he's covered in dander and I
0:03:46realized over the course of the of the
0:03:48quarter that he never changed his
0:03:50clothes but he was it but he was a
0:03:53brilliant guy any he came in and and he
0:03:56said to the class you know his first
0:03:58thing out of his mouth he said
0:03:59how much of the Bible should we take as
0:04:04as truth as best fact any on the room is
0:04:09quiet and nobody knows what to do and
0:04:11I'm sitting there with my already with
0:04:13my feet up on the desk you know smug and
0:04:16Brent presumptuous and just I was just
0:04:19such a turd and I raised my hand and all
0:04:22sardonically I'm like em I don't know
0:04:25all of it even
0:04:27mhm and he goes no in fact and proceeds
0:04:31to make me feel like it like the tool
0:04:34that I was says no in fact the Bible is
0:04:37a collection of stories told by you know
0:04:41told over generations
0:04:42bye-bye people wandering the desert and
0:04:47here's here's how we're going to take
0:04:48this class and he starts to talk and i
0:04:50SAT up in my chair and lean forward it
0:04:52was like oh my goodness this this seems
0:04:55really smart and I don't fit into that
0:04:57class I was so I'm so thrilled to read
0:05:00the Old Testament with with a priest who
0:05:03was gonna walk me through it like it was
0:05:05I like a history lesson
0:05:08oh I still I I should go back there and
0:05:11find that priest and and give him a dead
0:05:13dandruff brush as a gift like an
0:05:16embossed he's gotta be still alive he
0:05:18was a pretty young guy that they live
0:05:20pretty long this guy's they do because
0:05:22they you know they had free food health
0:05:24care free hand jobs
0:05:26mhm subsidized anyway you know they all
0:05:29live together there in the priests house
0:05:30ooh so they don't need money there that
0:05:34that's in Ruth's they talk about that
0:05:35you know the thing is old testament it's
0:05:38a six bit of a slog there's a lot of
0:05:40repetition it could really it could have
0:05:42really stood a second read through
0:05:44before i went to press there's a lot lot
0:05:46of extraneous stuff that was great about
0:05:48this class because I you know as you
0:05:51walk through life right you meet people
0:05:52all the time they're like well I've read
0:05:54the Quran and let me tell you this about
0:05:56that when every one of those people that
0:05:59says that is is a lying sack of shit no
0:06:01one has read the quran because it's like
0:06:04the old testament it's so boring if you
0:06:06start at the front you start reading the
0:06:07first page you just like Oh by four
0:06:11pages in you
0:06:12it took me
0:06:13year 24 pages of the Koran but when you
0:06:17when somebody's walking you through it
0:06:19who knows all the good parts like you
0:06:21know someone who is it who has studied
0:06:23enough priestly stuff to be a judgment
0:06:25this guy knew where all the good stuff
0:06:27was here where all the sex was he knew
0:06:29where all the turning points were and he
0:06:32skipped he skipped by the genealogies
0:06:35and all that stuff and just got like to
0:06:37the heart of the manor
0:06:38I wish I knew I wish I knew it well
0:06:40enough to do that for someone else you
0:06:43know to like give somebody a syllabus
0:06:45about the whole Testament commentaries
0:06:46that you do that in different walks of
0:06:48life
0:06:48I mean I think you give take people to
0:06:50the interesting part sometimes i try i
0:06:52had I take people to the interesting
0:06:54parts of the of the Seattle um you know
0:06:59where this where the sewers connect to
0:07:02the power stations that analogy
0:07:04something to take people down there
0:07:06that's what I like to take people and
0:07:08kill them and take them into the sewers
0:07:10meet the power stations and was funny I
0:07:14mean like if you're a student of
0:07:15literature which you have a man but
0:07:17literary art or literature that's what i
0:07:18call in Florida better area Turcotte
0:07:20literature
0:07:22did you know you would never think like
0:07:24oh I you know I read through i read this
0:07:27short story i read where I'm calling
0:07:29from once and now i'm a learned man but
0:07:32you have to read a lot more than that
0:07:33and you probably have to read that
0:07:34several times if you're gonna consider
0:07:36you somebody said so yourself someone
0:07:37who really knows a lot about something
0:07:38or consider yourself
0:07:40let's say for the sake of argument you
0:07:41know enough about something to judge
0:07:43someone's life and afterlife me it would
0:07:46behoove you and I'm not gonna talk about
0:07:48religion but it would behoove you like
0:07:49if you're any student you would want to
0:07:51like you know learn your times tables
0:07:52until you know it really well but it's
0:07:54just funny
0:07:54you can drop a reference to something
0:07:57like the Old Testament or the new
0:07:59testament or for that matter
0:08:01Shakespeare the Constitution and just
0:08:02because you've heard that thing he
0:08:04suddenly sound like a learned person and
0:08:06that's not even the beginning of the
0:08:07learning apartment but all those things
0:08:08that you mentioned Shakespeare's
0:08:11Constitution and the Bible there are so
0:08:14many references to them throughout all
0:08:18other literature that you if you if you
0:08:22get a just a just a girl
0:08:24gasps of what the original text says
0:08:26then you start to pick it out
0:08:28you see it all the time it occurs
0:08:30everywhere else right so you actually
0:08:33can get a pretty good grip on the iliad
0:08:37and the Old Testament by just by kind of
0:08:40doing a cliff snows CliffsNotes reading
0:08:44of it and then being aware when you see
0:08:46it appear in other books you know
0:08:48because people were people do refer to
0:08:50it like for instance reading where I'm
0:08:53calling from although it is a great work
0:08:56you won't see it you won't see allusions
0:08:59to it in all the other books you read
0:09:01but you're going to see The Iliad come
0:09:03up over and over you could you could
0:09:05hear the phrase Achilles heel your whole
0:09:06life and not realize it's from The Iliad
0:09:08yeah we're here like why like pound of
0:09:10flesh or blood on my hands all are you
0:09:13know that the innumerable basically I
0:09:15mean like if you ever read Hamlet all
0:09:16the way through I've never read the
0:09:17whole handling the whole Hamlet is
0:09:19really really almost every Hamlet that
0:09:22we read is a lot a lot short-short
0:09:25Hamlet right well I can I did that that
0:09:28version in the nineties or whatever that
0:09:31was good because it was beautiful but it
0:09:32was like his long yea yea and that's
0:09:35that was even a little bit abridged but
0:09:38Shakespeare's the same way you if it's
0:09:40in everything and i find that that's
0:09:41true
0:09:42the first time I went to Hollywood right
0:09:44you go to Hollywood and you're driving
0:09:46around and you realize that I mean I had
0:09:49never been to Southern California but I
0:09:52knew it
0:09:53every street sign every street corner
0:09:56I know you know you get to Hollywood and
0:09:58Vine you're like Hollywood and Vine I've
0:10:00heard about this my whole life
0:10:02first time you go to New York City I
0:10:04read every street corner you stand on
0:10:06you realize you've seen it in a movie
0:10:08you've read about it in a book and so
0:10:10that that familiarity with the would not
0:10:14just the place names but like I know
0:10:16what happened here this is the place
0:10:18where the thing happened right right um
0:10:20it makes New York and LA and Paris this
0:10:23makes these places seem well like we all
0:10:26own a little bit of them
0:10:28there's a photograph this photograph of
0:10:31me that is really really blurry for
0:10:34reasons that will become a parent you
0:10:36have a moment in a mustache you wearing
0:10:38an army jacket i am yeah and you're
0:10:41absolutely right you know you know the
0:10:42era and he's not gone deep that the
0:10:44antics of this is because of the great
0:10:45era of merlin mann the moment the
0:10:47mustache on the army jacket you seem to
0:10:49traverse the world now yet again that
0:10:51the mullet the mustache in the Army
0:10:53check it again esop lot of people don't
0:10:55know where that comes from
0:10:56slow and steady slow and steady wins the
0:10:58kebab I in our limited number of days
0:11:02that we had in Manhattan this is how you
0:11:05knew i shouldn'ta lost this one I said
0:11:08my girlfriend we're going to go to this
0:11:09place you're gonna take my picture and
0:11:10so we got on the subway anyway it went
0:11:13north north north north north and we got
0:11:16scared and sort of electrical and 1250
0:11:20secondary more dead than alive had to
0:11:22take my picture at Lexington 225th you
0:11:24get off haha but I'm literally in motion
0:11:27i stopped long enough to go there and
0:11:29take the picture and then I started
0:11:30running back into the subway
0:11:31yeah this was what year that an STD I
0:11:34got the photo somewhere in 1988 that
0:11:36wasn't a good time to just like two
0:11:37different like like you know like a
0:11:39professionally made sign like for a
0:11:41restaurant or store with misspellings on
0:11:42it there's like this is you know this is
0:11:44New York in the eighties this is not
0:11:45this is pretty Giuliani you know being
0:11:48outgoing thank you
0:11:49there's giant pieces like the street you
0:11:51like when they're like repairing the
0:11:52street then I got fuck it and they bring
0:11:54like a 44 inch piece feet thick piece of
0:11:57steel sheet of Steel just like fucking
0:11:58cover the street we're leaving its it
0:12:00looks like Lebanon haha so I can't leave
0:12:04you guessing that you haven't told you
0:12:05that story before
0:12:06that's amazing you would guess that so
0:12:08fast whether you're talking about like
0:12:10I'm going up i'm going up i'm going up
0:12:12and I'm like well what's up there the
0:12:13merlons not going to the Apollo probably
0:12:16to stand out front said stand out front
0:12:18with your tap shoes and be like I'm
0:12:20ready for my audition like the violent
0:12:22offense now been out there and ya go
0:12:24together at the Cotton Club well so many
0:12:28years later I lived there a hundred
0:12:30eighteen Lexington yes this is before is
0:12:33like around the time you're about to
0:12:34start writing your first record right
0:12:36yeah well the first record was daughter
0:12:37was doing 2001 summer 2001
0:12:40and I went up there and and lived in
0:12:43Spanish Harlem what they called the bar
0:12:45el barrio and it was the one time in my
0:12:50life where I'm where I actually had a
0:12:52gun pointed at me where it wasn't just
0:12:55some Alaskan guy pointing a gun at you
0:12:57my captain's something he could settle
0:12:59it once it goes like I alright you got a
0:13:02gun i got again right it was that it was
0:13:04an armed robbery and I was with two
0:13:09other people and we're walking
0:13:11obviously we were we were stupid we were
0:13:14walking along the east river at ten
0:13:17o'clock at night in Spanish Harlem and
0:13:20it you know we've been walking up the
0:13:22East River so there's a certain point
0:13:24there's not like gunplay primetime yeah
0:13:26it's sort of like well it'sit's at 98
0:13:30you're still on the Upper East Side kind
0:13:34of you know and we're just walking and
0:13:35talking and chatting and and we don't
0:13:37realize that we walked into Academy a
0:13:39shooting gallery area where everyone is
0:13:41that they're all these junkies are lying
0:13:43sort of all since stacked like cordwood
0:13:45all around and that we walk over this
0:13:48bridge and this guy in a hooded
0:13:51sweatshirt is standing there and and
0:13:56he's real casual you know he's kind of
0:13:58he's leaning up against the pole and
0:14:00he's got he's got his pistol out and I'm
0:14:05kind of in the lead of the three of us
0:14:06and I walked past him he says something
0:14:10to me i don't see the gun and I go oh
0:14:14hey what's up and I I walked past him
0:14:17I'm 10 feet past him before the girl
0:14:22screams there's three of us to me of guy
0:14:28and his girlfriend and she sees the gun
0:14:31and she stops dead in her tracks and
0:14:33screams and I turn around and I see that
0:14:37he's got the guard on the girl and and I
0:14:40I i have the I'm so indignant and I have
0:14:45to walk back to get in front of this
0:14:48guy's gun you know what I mean like GT
0:14:51that well I was already passed in my you
0:14:53know
0:14:54she if she had kept walking if the other
0:14:56guy w he wouldn't you know he's just
0:14:57sitting there is like the ones you're
0:14:59talking about being a human shield
0:15:00you're saying go back and finish that
0:15:01the robber transaction know that's what
0:15:03I had to do I was like oh my god why
0:15:05didn't you just keep walking
0:15:07so I turn around I walked back and this
0:15:11guy never says a word I mean he said
0:15:13something to me like mermaids stick it
0:15:14up stick them up or whatever I didn't
0:15:16hear him because when you're walking in
0:15:18the dark in Spanish Harlem even if
0:15:20you're even if you are oblivious
0:15:22I mean being oblivious is your greatest
0:15:24strength right i mean some guys down
0:15:26there with the gun goes and then stick
0:15:27them up and you just go
0:15:30yeah great nice to see you and keep
0:15:31walking he's not going to shoot you
0:15:33he's going to understand that it's a
0:15:35misunderstanding
0:15:37he's gonna get hold up the next person
0:15:38or he's gonna run around in front of you
0:15:40and like four see if that looks that
0:15:42looks sort of stupid if he does that
0:15:44yeah right he's not gonna eat he has his
0:15:45own dignity i can write in retrospect he
0:15:47didn't fire a warning shot and say no
0:15:49turn around
0:15:50yeah and he's not the thing is he's not
0:15:51a guy who's like jumping in front of you
0:15:54with his feet spread em is when the
0:15:56gunfire i'm going to freeze you know
0:15:59he's like this guy's keys cool batteries
0:16:01like hey man you know he's like that
0:16:03he's like that the troll under the
0:16:04bridge right he's like let me hold your
0:16:06wallet so i have to have to drag my ass
0:16:10back there I'm all indignant about it
0:16:12and he's like you know throw three
0:16:14wallets on the ground or whatever says
0:16:16to the girl and I pulled my wallet out
0:16:20and I had you know I had stuff in the
0:16:21wallet i wanted to keep and so I you
0:16:26know I take whatever $21 i had and they
0:16:28threw it on the ground piece he wants
0:16:31the wallet and I'm like no don't need
0:16:35the wallet and again I kinda had to grab
0:16:39her by the arm and pull er down the road
0:16:43like she was like a deer in the
0:16:45headlights and my god just keep moving
0:16:48and get out of the way you know what I
0:16:49mean like keep moving
0:16:51don't stand there so yeah we had had to
0:16:56pull these two along and you know all
0:16:58this guy wanted was that if i had 11
0:17:00sense he would do for it
0:17:02so anyway we get our past and then we
0:17:05had the great adventure of going to the
0:17:08El Barrio police station and trying to
0:17:11pick this hooded this masked gunmen out
0:17:15of a lot of book of mug shots which was
0:17:18it was the ultimate the ultimate example
0:17:21of like mugshots are useless eyewitness
0:17:24accounts are useless we all three of us
0:17:26picked a different person out of the mug
0:17:28book the guy that I picked out the the
0:17:31cop turned the book writer was like well
0:17:33that's interesting i don't think it was
0:17:34him because he's been in jail for the
0:17:36last three years but uh but nice try I
0:17:39was like ah God could have sworn it was
0:17:41him and then then they put me in a cop
0:17:44car and we drove around all the dark
0:17:47spots of the of the barrio looking you
0:17:50know with our spotlight looking for the
0:17:52guy who the guy had written a white swan
0:17:56that's a pretty high level of service
0:17:58very al barrio police department i'm
0:18:00guessing you know they were they were
0:18:03they were great the tops were great i
0:18:05have always felt the new york city
0:18:07police are some of the best in the world
0:18:08having been accosted by many police in
0:18:11many cities New York Police are they're
0:18:15just regular Joe's you know who the LA
0:18:17cops San Francisco cop Seattle cops they
0:18:21all act like they're real special people
0:18:24who are charged with a special mission
0:18:27to keep the peace and there it you know
0:18:30they are working on behalf of the mayor
0:18:32and the governor and they really fit a
0:18:33relief really carry themselves with a
0:18:35lot of you know with the attitude that
0:18:39every single person on the street is a
0:18:40perpetrator and in New York City there
0:18:43like a smoke a bowl and more likes it
0:18:47like a filling a legitimate civil
0:18:49servant
0:18:50yeah they're guys that are you know
0:18:51they're here they're there to keep like
0:18:53they're there to keep bears from running
0:18:55down the middle of the street but beyond
0:18:56that you know let people do with what
0:18:59people do what they're going to do you
0:19:00know if you're gonna you're gonna stop
0:19:02and and and and bust every infraction in
0:19:06new york city that nothing could get
0:19:07done
0:19:09well is that school I went to was really
0:19:11small in there were there you know
0:19:13rotating but like you know for full-time
0:19:16like campus cops called right the campus
0:19:18police there's only four of its all we
0:19:19needed for this campus we talk about the
0:19:21university of south florida
0:19:23well yes and it's smaller is it smaller
0:19:25developmentally disabled daughter new
0:19:27college and but yeah the campus was
0:19:29small and was it might have been more
0:19:32than that but the the four main cops
0:19:35that were around
0:19:36first of all you know they were by and
0:19:38large like you say they were there to
0:19:39keep bears away but at least three of
0:19:42the cops that were retired from being
0:19:45actual cops say I'm pretty sure two of
0:19:48the cops were former new york city cops
0:19:52and one in particular who is the
0:19:54friendliest tub easiest like funniest
0:19:57nicest guy there who could beat your
0:19:59head and if you had to used to work on
0:20:01one of those boats to would drag the
0:20:03river for bodies
0:20:05oh I mean this is a guy who liked dealt
0:20:07with you know dead bleached-out bodies
0:20:11who he saw a lot of shit
0:20:13this guy had been in the shit he's been
0:20:15in the shit yeah exactly the
0:20:16thousand-yard stare and was funny was I
0:20:19mean that sounds that sounds like a
0:20:20cliche but you know he was really nice
0:20:23he he had a very get the correct trigger
0:20:25for when to go ape shit about stuff and
0:20:28when not room and there's one guy
0:20:30becomes shorty was the one guy who seem
0:20:32to be like professional security guard
0:20:34had gotten like come to the big game and
0:20:37he was he was the Barney Fife guy he was
0:20:38like always waiting to pull the bullet
0:20:40out of the public eye kind of guy but I
0:20:42was that was so interesting that
0:20:43somebody would actually had that kind of
0:20:44exposure to people kinda like you right
0:20:46i mean that case i would have been this
0:20:48that screaming lady just for what it's
0:20:49worth because I'm not used to dealing
0:20:50with situations like that treat for you
0:20:53that's something where you just keep
0:20:54your head about you that cop was and he
0:20:56was he was more effective
0:20:57well that's why I always imagined that
0:20:59in life what would what would end up
0:21:01happening to me is that I would end up
0:21:02being the sheriff of a small town in
0:21:05northern washington like twist
0:21:07Washington or something I would end up
0:21:10there retired this year of twists and
0:21:12I'd end up being the sheriff of twists
0:21:14and then if some kind of bad shit
0:21:17happened in twist there was a there is a
0:21:19multiple killing or maybe a drug deal
0:21:21gone bad where
0:21:22bunch of people shot each other and then
0:21:24a local hunter found a bag of money and
0:21:27went on and I would be like the kind of
0:21:31hard-bitten sheriff that was like man
0:21:33what's gone wrong with the world today
0:21:36I've seen a lot of been in the shit I've
0:21:38seen it all
0:21:40uh-huh but if this AMS it'll do till one
0:21:42gets here
0:21:43well like a lot of like a lot of those
0:21:45kinds of sheriffs it seems to me you're
0:21:46somebody who's seen stuff you don't want
0:21:48to see maybe you're back from the Civil
0:21:49War maybe your back from Vietnam your
0:21:52back from somewhere where a lot of you
0:21:54know there were a lot of body parts
0:21:55right B&B rock trenches
0:21:58oh gosh it was amazing what a man like
0:22:00you can see the steely eyes on boys
0:22:02yeah yeah so you went there looking for
0:22:04maybe not a simpler life but sure you
0:22:05want to help people but you're also you
0:22:07may be had with the body parts but now
0:22:09you your imperturbable and and the town
0:22:11of twists us with andy griffith can rest
0:22:14easy knowing knowing that you're there
0:22:16and you're mostly talking people out of
0:22:17things now do you carry a gun in Twisp
0:22:19you got all you don't need a gun I mean
0:22:20you have one in the truck but the thing
0:22:22is I didn't move to twist to be the
0:22:24sheriff I moved up there to get away and
0:22:26then I realized you know the the people
0:22:28of Twisp kind of called on me
0:22:31you said you or maybe not precisely a
0:22:33psychotic loner but you were definitely
0:22:35like in your own cabin maybe working on
0:22:37your latest book and then something
0:22:38happened something happened to the old
0:22:40sheriff but they needed you
0:22:41i'm guessing yeah exactly what you're
0:22:43called upon something happened to the
0:22:44old sheriff and there wasn't anybody to
0:22:46fill these shoes who and I was called
0:22:48upon to be the to be the sheriff and it
0:22:50was it you know I was it was it was a
0:22:52service i was providing my townspeople
0:22:54to resist a little bit first
0:22:56sure yeah I'm not the guy you don't want
0:22:59me that you know I've been in the shit I
0:23:02just came out here to that I just came
0:23:04out here to get to listen to the wind
0:23:05whistled through the pines and then
0:23:08they're like but but sheriff they start
0:23:11calling me sheriff and that's what if
0:23:12thats that's where it starts you know
0:23:13that ok
0:23:15they think they were calling me Sheriff
0:23:17even before it was like just going to
0:23:19walk around carry yourself like a
0:23:20sheriff what kind of crime you get in
0:23:22twist you think you mean you're saying
0:23:23is it mostly is it drug crimes like
0:23:25people growing weed somebody hit
0:23:27somebody with a belt running off the
0:23:28chicken like what kind of shit goes down
0:23:29and twist people you know that so it's
0:23:31real close to the Canadian border and so
0:23:33there's those uh those Hells Angels
0:23:34motorcycle gangs
0:23:35bringing the all motorcycle key but John
0:23:39that is exactly the kind of thing that
0:23:40would have twist calling upon you
0:23:42yeah that's like seven samurai below
0:23:43which is one John yeah here comes the
0:23:45motorcycle game terrorizing the town
0:23:48twisp check the problem with chuck chuck
0:23:50norris of course is the truck doors in
0:23:52that same situation is going to karate
0:23:54chop all those guys huh
0:23:55I come from a different school I'm not
0:23:58gonna be karate-chopping anybody but I
0:24:00am gonna going to be freezing guys in
0:24:02there in their shoes with my steely gaze
0:24:05and mind your own and mind bullets too
0:24:08I've got you I've got mine both become
0:24:10mindful it's all the time yeah i can use
0:24:12my bullets
0:24:12you can also take it down to where the
0:24:13sewers meet the power plant but that was
0:24:16determined holds the terminology that's
0:24:18a long drive from from twist
0:24:20they probably have something like that
0:24:21but the guy they got a ravine or a
0:24:23galley or a creek they have a crack baby
0:24:25definitely have a correct there I think
0:24:27they probably I think it's probably
0:24:28found something in the correct this
0:24:29isn't okay okanagan County Okanogan
0:24:32County that's right population 938 my
0:24:35sorry let me take that back strike that
0:24:36nine thirty thousand two thousand oh my
0:24:38god John John in two thousand the
0:24:41population was 19 when you're feeling
0:24:42better you need to get the fuck up to
0:24:44twist what's happening what's going on
0:24:45well I don't graphic change on the only
0:24:47in the first paragraph but an 938 in the
0:24:50year 2000 is already down to 9 19 and I
0:24:53don't they're losing jobs for people
0:24:54falling in the creek but then I think
0:24:56they might need Sheriff John the fingers
0:24:58the young people in twist they don't
0:24:59they don't see the opportunity of their
0:25:01their their their fathers and grand
0:25:03Pappy's is the is defined so they're
0:25:06moving their problem in the big say
0:25:08they're moving to Seattle and they're
0:25:10joining some kind of River group Cooper
0:25:14rivers they couldn't find jobs maybe
0:25:16that's the twist is located on the
0:25:18methow river and its confluence with the
0:25:20twist prefer the titular twist river
0:25:22mhm the whole town it's 1.2 square miles
0:25:25behind
0:25:27I don't know man I either you there's
0:25:30nothing is long as you get like
0:25:31satellite service or something there's
0:25:32almost nothing you can take bath there I
0:25:34know you love your home I know you love
0:25:36your family i'm just saying there's a
0:25:37lot of things you can do in twist i saw
0:25:39this in a dream you know the twist is a
0:25:41beautiful beautiful little town of its
0:25:44kind of like an Old West town if you if
0:25:46you drive through it's got little
0:25:48clapboard houses and it was a the mining
0:25:52town back in the turn-of-the-century
0:25:53minutes that's exactly the place that I
0:25:55would end up being the sheriff if I was
0:25:57gonna do that but uh but i still haven't
0:26:01decided which you know there are a few
0:26:03different turns my life could take I
0:26:05could also be a tweety professor sitting
0:26:09in his cramped office doing can be
0:26:13honest that's a lot of fucking meetings
0:26:15yeah but I don't teachers have to go to
0:26:17a lot of meetings they do they have to
0:26:19deal with that University hierarchy
0:26:21which I've never it's just the same as
0:26:22getting a job at IBM
0:26:24it's just like working it's worse i mean
0:26:27i began go outside you get outside and
0:26:29do a math problem in settlement men but
0:26:31a place like that you see at undermine
0:26:33them for five years we've got tenure
0:26:34like fucking furniture i think every
0:26:37person at a university is like an HR
0:26:39person at a company like every person
0:26:43you're dealing with including the other
0:26:44professors are talking to you like an HR
0:26:46person yet conservative nervous and
0:26:49easily replaced yeah and and also really
0:26:52concerned about what you're you know
0:26:54really concerned about you and what's
0:26:55going on in your mind and whether or not
0:26:57you did your TPS reports or whatever
0:26:59it's just that sounds like a horrible
0:27:01environment for John you know I had a
0:27:03mentor at the University of Washington
0:27:04who wanted to hear what i say i mentor I
0:27:08mean the mentor of the one mentor of my
0:27:10life perfect this professor named Jim
0:27:13Klaus and he had this vision but he and
0:27:18a few of the other like teachers and
0:27:22students from the comparative history of
0:27:25ideas program we're going to start a new
0:27:28university called the University of the
0:27:31Cascades we were going to go find out we
0:27:34can find a large like an old boy scout
0:27:36camp somewhere up in the mountains and
0:27:38we're going to start a new university
0:27:40there and we would talk about this
0:27:43university over and over and it was it
0:27:50was really a beacon in there are just a
0:27:52small group of us but it was a speaking
0:27:54in our future like and then we will
0:27:56start the University of the Cascades and
0:27:59many they changed it to the University
0:28:01of the Olympics because he liked those
0:28:03mountains
0:28:04Seattle is situated between the olympic
0:28:06mountains in the Cascade Mountains we
0:28:09figured there were more boy scout camps
0:28:10out in the Olympics and so he switched
0:28:14his focus to those mountains and that
0:28:15seemed even better harder to get to the
0:28:17Olympics then the University of the
0:28:20olympics was like this idea that and
0:28:23then them and then he got the cancer
0:28:25oh god that's no good no it was terrible
0:28:27and we got the candy got the cancer
0:28:29really fast it was like one
0:28:31what we hear is to meet weekly and go to
0:28:35this pop dog place called shultzy's on
0:28:38university avenue and we were supposed
0:28:40to meet at shultzy's on Tuesday and he
0:28:41called me and he was like oh I can't eat
0:28:45your cheese this week I was like oh why
0:28:47not he said because i have pancreatic
0:28:49cancer
0:28:49oh my god John that's awful yeah and he
0:28:52died within a couple of months it was it
0:28:55was it was a terrible thing for me he
0:28:57was the one guy in my whole life that
0:28:59ever like whatever kind of showed me the
0:29:02way you know he was a real he was a a
0:29:06pedagogue in the in every sense of the
0:29:08word and miserable that we don't get
0:29:11that opportunity to realize that and
0:29:13then do something nice to thank them
0:29:14until it's way too late
0:29:16yeah yeah although i mean i-i i feel i
0:29:18feel like i had i had a jet the you know
0:29:21I had a chance to tell him what he meant
0:29:24to me and I remember I went to his
0:29:27bedside you know when he's like a little
0:29:29final days and i started i started
0:29:32saying you know he said he said you need
0:29:35to just graduate from college
0:29:36don't worry about all these fantasies
0:29:40that you have about how you're going to
0:29:41graduate from college with the where
0:29:43someone's going to put a Laurel
0:29:45crown on your head and they're gonna
0:29:47they're gonna pronounce you the kball
0:29:49colleges just graduated from college
0:29:52like a normal person I was like but but
0:29:55but I have to do this that and the other
0:29:56and he was like just do this one thing
0:29:58just graduated from college in the
0:30:01simplest possible way and I realized
0:30:03that even there as he lay dying he was
0:30:06trying to help me and I was stuck with
0:30:11being a pain in his as like no no here's
0:30:14how I'm gonna do it I'm gonna graduate
0:30:15from college but when i do they're going
0:30:17to realize that that from that day forth
0:30:20all colleges is meaningless and that
0:30:23people just need to listen to me from
0:30:24here on out he was like listen with my
0:30:28with my some of my last breath i'm going
0:30:30to tell you just don't do that just just
0:30:33be a normal person and graduate from
0:30:36college just do this one simple thing I
0:30:38still haven't done that but I'm yeah but
0:30:41you but but but you moved on from
0:30:45thinking I assume that you're going to
0:30:48change the the way we think about
0:30:50colleges has emerged that so you moved
0:30:52on in your way a little bit little bit
0:30:54yeah it was very sad because with him
0:30:56but he was the motivating factor of this
0:30:59this call this university we were going
0:31:01to start out in the trees and without
0:31:04him in a no one else had the no one else
0:31:06had the complete vision you know he was
0:31:08the one that was a that he was actually
0:31:10a PhD you know the rest of us were just
0:31:12right just satellites or whatever I mean
0:31:17not that's not to say there were a bunch
0:31:18of phd's around him but he was the one
0:31:20that had the he burned like a hot Sun
0:31:21this guy you could you tell I was wrong
0:31:24to be on the team for freer school
0:31:26program for a variety of reasons because
0:31:28i was I i SAT erect in my chair
0:31:30throughout every part of that I was like
0:31:32yes yes and this will be out with the
0:31:35camps and the lodge in the wood and I
0:31:37was yes yes and then you told me you
0:31:39thought about calling university
0:31:40olympics and completely lost interesting
0:31:42haha that's why Pentagon i am it's like
0:31:46and I realized I mean I just thought
0:31:48that with the collar University of the
0:31:50Cascades is the one of the coolest names
0:31:51I've ever heard em but as soon as it was
0:31:54university Olympics you're like I can't
0:31:55but I don't want to wear that sweatshirt
0:31:57will do that did that
0:31:58see this is you probably won't like this
0:31:59did that ever factor into your thinking
0:32:01because Gonzaga is a pretty freaky name
0:32:02for a school especially since a lot of
0:32:05people mistakenly call it Gonzaga i
0:32:07called it Gonzaga until I heard your dad
0:32:09pronounced in front of me wants and
0:32:11until then I thought it was gone saga
0:32:13yeah i think a lot of people do yeah i
0:32:15mean it really that Gonzaga it's named
0:32:17Jack it's alright that was pretty good
0:32:19pretty klutz you know Gonzaga is named
0:32:21after a guy a lot of people are named
0:32:23not a lot of universities are named
0:32:24after some old guy some dead guys my
0:32:26sister would say some dead rich guy from
0:32:29the past why do I want to go to these
0:32:30castles and museums it's just a bunch of
0:32:32dead rich people that season that's my
0:32:34sister and that's my sister walking
0:32:36through Rome let's go in here why don't
0:32:39want to go in there it's a bunch of
0:32:40stuff from dead rich people
0:32:42Susan it's the word Rome go on you and
0:32:47your sister traveling you to traveling
0:32:49together sounds like a NBC sitcom they
0:32:51would not be picked up for a second
0:32:52season
0:32:53she's like yeah we're in Rome where
0:32:55their discotheques everywhere
0:32:57why do we want to go to these old places
0:32:59for Musti dirt like what are you talking
0:33:03about discotheques
0:33:04Oh traveling with her was like travel
0:33:09with a traveling with an untamed
0:33:11she-wolf under wanna look like held back
0:33:15with a piece of dental floss come
0:33:19holding onto this mint-flavored floss
0:33:21and she's just like disco are there are
0:33:24I'm like disco not gonna go to at Roman
0:33:27disco but you don't know how to live we
0:33:30were everybody's a dumb shit that's the
0:33:32problem and I and the problem is it's
0:33:34one thing to be a dumb shit and it's
0:33:36another thing to be a slightly
0:33:37above-average intelligence dumb shit
0:33:39which makes you 10 * fucking dumber than
0:33:41the dumbest dumb shit because because i
0:33:43was so genetically incapable of seeing
0:33:46what a dumbfuck I was and you know it
0:33:49makes me resistant even try and help
0:33:50anybody because obviously i'm still kind
0:33:51of an idiot but you know what i mean
0:33:53like it and the things that people would
0:33:54say to me that seems so saying about how
0:33:56to treat other people and how to behave
0:33:58and how to make decisions I just thought
0:34:00they were that they were square Bates
0:34:03justjust dumbasses
0:34:05uh-huh I mean you must have gone through
0:34:06this a little bit oh I was tortured by
0:34:09other people are coming up because I
0:34:12we felt like I felt I i I'm really kept
0:34:19trying to do the right thing i'm in my
0:34:25interactions with other people and that
0:34:27invariably sets you on the course for
0:34:30doom and destruction if you're trying to
0:34:34be normal you know what I mean like a
0:34:37normal team who is not thinking about
0:34:40doing the right thing
0:34:42normal team is just trying to do you
0:34:45know trying to do something anything in
0:34:47at any opportunity right arm
0:34:50normal team is not flying up above the
0:34:54scenario trying to discern what the best
0:34:57course of action for everyone involved
0:34:59is and and I spent my whole young life
0:35:04watching people go about their living
0:35:08and wondering and standing in the middle
0:35:10of it like one of those stop motion
0:35:13scenes in the movie where everyone's
0:35:15moving really fast and the person in the
0:35:17center is is moving super slow and he's
0:35:19like but but wait you know and people
0:35:22just getting on with it and I'm and I
0:35:24was in the I was in this like this
0:35:28constant cloud of thinking that that all
0:35:32the all the petty little problems that
0:35:33people were getting into we could just
0:35:35figure out and and and figure out what
0:35:37the what the right thing to do is and
0:35:38then do that and you know and I think
0:35:41that's why later on I i I'd over into
0:35:46drugs and and bad and doing bad things
0:35:49because later on I was like well you
0:35:51know what
0:35:52like none of that trying to do good
0:35:54produced anything but sadness in me and
0:35:57everyone I touched so now i'm just going
0:35:59to be to be bad i'm gonna do the bad
0:36:03stuff i'm gonna do all the bad stuff and
0:36:05maybe that way i'll come out the other
0:36:08side and it will all have evened out
0:36:09somehow you know and that didn't work
0:36:13either
0:36:13that was just that was just bad that was
0:36:16just doing bad things for their own sake
0:36:19and and you know it still was a kind of
0:36:23like overthinking overthinking what you
0:36:25doing bad things for the sake of doing
0:36:26bad things you're thinking too much
0:36:29yeah you know just go like you want to
0:36:31be with the girl go try and be with the
0:36:33girl you don't it doesn't have to be
0:36:34that you it's doesn't have to be like a
0:36:37like an epic poem just go try to be with
0:36:40the girl
0:36:41well the notices the frustrating part on
0:36:43both sides of the equation
0:36:44it's a you think about like trying to my
0:36:47daughter's a little young for this but I
0:36:48try to think about how you teach a kid
0:36:49to ride a bike and the first time the
0:36:51kid gets on a bike they fall down and
0:36:53they don't ride the bike anymore because
0:36:54there's no way they're ever gonna be
0:36:56able to ride a bike and actually him and
0:36:58took him and combined until they get
0:36:59back on the ball you hit him with the
0:37:00bike and you say you like this i can
0:37:02help with the bike like this like stand
0:37:04up but if you you know the thing is if
0:37:06you know how to ride a bike how do you
0:37:07describe to somebody how to ride a bike
0:37:09you might have a couple ideas but
0:37:11basically just go we ride the bike and
0:37:13it seems so obvious i'm not saying you
0:37:15can't help somebody do that but it's
0:37:17really i think it's really frustrating
0:37:18as a former as a former cereal dumbfuck
0:37:21whose hopefully trying to get a little
0:37:22better at some of it it's really
0:37:24frustrating part i think a lot of this
0:37:25comes down to like I can't fix you and I
0:37:28can't prevent you from doing everything
0:37:31wrong but your students doing
0:37:33I see you doing something that I can
0:37:35promise you is so fucking stupid and d
0:37:38railing and i wish i could get you to
0:37:40see how stupid and direct its and that's
0:37:43the thing that you're least likely to
0:37:45change in somebody like you say just ask
0:37:47her out she's scared to know if she says
0:37:50no you know what
0:37:51that's okay you're not gonna die yeah I
0:37:54kept I kept thinking and I kept thinking
0:37:56that there was i mean i'm not alone in
0:37:58this there's
0:37:59though there's a world of people
0:38:00thinking this but you know everybody
0:38:02thinks there's a secret to life
0:38:04I kept thinking that the secret to life
0:38:05was attainable and I was going to you
0:38:08know once i figured it out i was gonna
0:38:10share it with everybody how God was just
0:38:12like that said that's a tough formula
0:38:14boy kid but you know if I went back and
0:38:18talked to myself right now if I stood in
0:38:19front of my 17 year old cell and grabbed
0:38:24myself by my stupid shirt that you know
0:38:27my stupid kind of like like a plan that
0:38:31patchwork shirt that i thought was
0:38:33hilarious and cool grab myself by that
0:38:36shirt lift myself up off the ground and
0:38:38set all this to myself I would just be
0:38:40like yeah whatever man whatever old bad
0:38:44yeah no I'm the worst example of
0:38:46everything that I thought was wrong you
0:38:47know in a lot of ways because not
0:38:49because i think i think i can help you
0:38:51know all this this kid i'm going to try
0:38:53and help not knowing that kid already
0:38:54knows everything and plus i'm obviously
0:38:56some kind of a doofus now and I remember
0:38:59thinking like i said i was standing
0:39:01outside the library yesterday and I was
0:39:03watching this you know very old woman
0:39:05crossing the street and you know people
0:39:07being very impatient with their cars and
0:39:09she's just an old lady trying to cross
0:39:10the street she's a hunched over and shit
0:39:11and i was thinking like I remember
0:39:13there's green matter came over and get
0:39:16out of the way people have to go places
0:39:20madam if you throw your phone matter
0:39:22what I remember was a net and I never
0:39:25overtly thought this but now i know i
0:39:27was actually i was taking this so often
0:39:28that I didn't even need two men think it
0:39:30i thought people who got old did
0:39:32something fucked up and wrong
0:39:33ok know that they were so stupid that
0:39:35they were stupid or like just didn't
0:39:38realize that you could be eternally
0:39:39young and healthy forever and and
0:39:41obviously used to fucking idiot because
0:39:42you got old
0:39:43oh my my my best version of that is I
0:39:46thought for a long time that Street
0:39:48drunks and hobos had the wisdom of the
0:39:52sages I got this my Tom Waits face o.o
0:39:56its everybody's time with you know it's
0:39:59it's it's the Bukowski years right where
0:40:01you are going to schools and they teach
0:40:03you nothing it's just a bunch of block
0:40:05you know why because none of those
0:40:07teachers have little
0:40:08lived that's really actually lived you
0:40:11need to go down to skid row
0:40:12yep and find the guys who have you know
0:40:14who have a literally have tire tracks on
0:40:18their face and lay down next to them in
0:40:22the in the in the piss Phil gutter and
0:40:24say tell me man
0:40:26what is the fucking secret and these
0:40:28guys are gonna go adding adding adding
0:40:30adding adding that let you finger me for
0:40:33a quarter
0:40:36I remember I was standing down as some
0:40:38soup kitchen line one time and some guy
0:40:41with one arm walks over to me and he's
0:40:46got a pack of camel straits in his hand
0:40:49and he goes hey brother can you help me
0:40:51out and he holds out the pack of
0:40:54cigarettes then I'm standing there you
0:40:55know trying to be trying to be real cool
0:40:57real street and I don't know what he's I
0:40:59don't always ask him to help him out
0:41:01this point is pack of cigarettes at me
0:41:03I'm like yeah sure man what a what's
0:41:08going on you know and I kind of hold
0:41:10might like it
0:41:11hold my hand up like I'm gonna kind of
0:41:12high-five his cigarette pack or whatever
0:41:14he's like uh it does help me out your
0:41:18brother you know and I realized he's
0:41:20looking for looking for a fire wingman
0:41:22please let my cigarette though he's only
0:41:24got one arm you can open his pack of
0:41:26cigarettes right and so oh oh I get it I
0:41:30get it I get it okay on you want me to
0:41:32open your package cigarettes i got it
0:41:33you know all these guys dinner like yeah
0:41:37so like I grabbed this pack of
0:41:42cigarettes horrible but also for a
0:41:46collective group of people just like six
0:41:48guys it's raining always get out of the
0:41:51soup kitchen live there
0:41:53and he comes over to me because I'm like
0:41:56the one guy he thinks I'm just gonna run
0:41:58off with his cigarettes or whatever but
0:42:00at this point in my life I'm 17 years
0:42:02old I've never opened to pack of
0:42:04cigarettes in my life and I stick my
0:42:06finger in one end of the top of the pack
0:42:09of cigarettes and just pull across the
0:42:12top of the back like like I'm opening a
0:42:15bag of chips and this guy who's
0:42:20expecting me to open the pack of
0:42:21cigarettes like a guy you know you take
0:42:24the cellophane and then you rip the
0:42:26little one side of the the foil you're
0:42:29ripping two different ways and open it
0:42:31up and fold it back so that so that you
0:42:33can tap out one cigarette a time you
0:42:35know I rip this thing open like a bag of
0:42:38Fritos and this one-armed guy goes
0:42:41ballistic
0:42:42he's like what the fuck are you doing
0:42:44man why'd you fuck up my cigarette pack
0:42:47god stop got Apple stupid bullshit abs
0:42:52the cigarettes out of my head you know
0:42:53now he's got this cut basically like a
0:42:57paper cup full of cigarettes but he's
0:42:59gotta figure out how to keep out of the
0:43:01rain and these storms off he's screaming
0:43:05at me from across the Pioneer Square you
0:43:08know like that ass all over never going
0:43:10to happen to have a diameter i'm
0:43:12standing looking around for that these
0:43:14other guys for some support and they're
0:43:15all
0:43:16yeah so I was so humiliated and so you
0:43:23know just like new new
0:43:27yeah that you're the fish in the cell
0:43:29there who I kills you're like just that
0:43:32just kills your hobo credit if you
0:43:34didn't make a single cup
0:43:35yeah yeah yeah no such a play with such
0:43:38a fox pass but I mean my hobo cred was
0:43:40already kind of in question because I
0:43:42had I had a peach fuzz beard and I think
0:43:45I was probably still wearing that same
0:43:47patchwork plaid shirt that i thought was
0:43:49so cool i might have even had a bandana
0:43:51tied around my neck of it out
0:43:53whatever it was like an eight-year-old
0:43:58assistance he likes trains yeah these
0:44:00guys were these guys were drinking
0:44:02sterno haha that was like hey fellas I
0:44:06help you with that straight life sure is
0:44:09tough so how'd you lose the arm
0:44:12yeah yeah I got a couple years of my
0:44:21life that down there like you know hey
0:44:23Gigi would do is to do like hers fellas
0:44:26was Vietnam like other it's it's brutal
0:44:30that's address exactly the same way now
0:44:32but then when you when you have you know
0:44:34when you when you had your tough times
0:44:36there you you aren't too too far off
0:44:38from that I mean probably make that
0:44:40noise but no no anyways were like that i
0:44:44made that noise sure enough the middle
0:44:46and that's the thing it doesn't take you
0:44:47long if that's what you're looking for
0:44:49you can you can end up in being somebody
0:44:51like that doing is you you when you see
0:44:53it when you see a street person
0:44:54particularly or alcoholic you know a lot
0:44:57of street people are have legitimate
0:44:59mental problems but if you if you want
0:45:02to get there if you want to get to be a
0:45:03street person just just strictly as an
0:45:06alcoholic drug addict you can get their
0:45:08surprisingly fast especially with the
0:45:10crack it seems like you could be there
0:45:12inside of a month
0:45:13well the crack or I mean there are
0:45:16plenty of people who have who died of
0:45:18alcoholism in their early thirties you
0:45:21know you just drink themselves to death
0:45:23by the time the 33 so I mean it doesn't
0:45:27you think when you're 22 or or whatever
0:45:30that you're you're kind of playing a
0:45:31game where you have to have all have a
0:45:34thousand years to figure it out but you
0:45:37can make a couple of couple of bad turns
0:45:39and it only takes a couple of like oopsy
0:45:42uh-huh and no should I lost my job in my
0:45:46apartment in the same week and now i
0:45:49don't have up you know now I don't have
0:45:52anywhere to go and oh shit and then I
0:45:54like got an infection on my toe and they
0:45:58don't have a place where i can get dry
0:45:59shoes
0:46:01oh shit you know and it's just a couple
0:46:03of things and all the sudden year you're
0:46:05actually in real trouble and yeah it was
0:46:08it was funny how fast i went from being
0:46:10of like a 17 year old who didn't know
0:46:12how to open a pack of cigarettes to
0:46:14being somebody who you know I i could
0:46:17look it a couple of different directions
0:46:19be like oh there's no good there's no
0:46:21good way this is going to turn out but I
0:46:24mean this is a professional know and
0:46:26it's the it's like these efforts for the
0:46:28conventionalism like another version of
0:46:30like being this in my case of suburban
0:46:32kid where I could I could hold these two
0:46:34ideas in my mind on the one hand i
0:46:36wanted to be like somebody i proceeded
0:46:38to be from a Tom Waits song or maybe
0:46:40like Mickey Rourke in barfly or just
0:46:42don't like that wasted right but then I
0:46:44also wanted my mom to pick me up because
0:46:46I feel like walking home from the mall
0:46:48yeah there's the enemy's due to
0:46:50completely to completely like you know
0:46:52irreconcilable things one that is the
0:46:55thing if you if you spend much time with
0:46:57Bukowski or a or Kerouac or any of the
0:47:01great drugs they all want their mom to
0:47:02pick them up
0:47:03you know that's the thing they want to
0:47:05go through a lot of moms but Williams
0:47:07right the ones that managed to write
0:47:09their their dramatic elegantly wasted
0:47:11story down they had so many moms picking
0:47:13them up you remember kowski Bukowski was
0:47:16such a little crybaby little brat you
0:47:18know maybe so do you really think that's
0:47:20true you don't think you don't think
0:47:21there's a persona was the cry baby brat
0:47:24or them with the tough-guy alcohol i
0:47:27don't know i mean i-i think you can talk
0:47:29in the same way that you could I talk
0:47:30yourself into being a hobo I I wonder
0:47:32sometimes especially with hunter s
0:47:33thompson and Bukowski i read a letter
0:47:36from him
0:47:37I don't have a couple things for him he
0:47:39was a very very good writer
0:47:41I mean he was not like a deranged man
0:47:42all right you know what I mean it's
0:47:44funny it's the same old things like Oh
0:47:45Hemingway drink a lot so I'm gonna drink
0:47:46a lot and then i'll be able to write the
0:47:47old man and the sea or whatever I mean I
0:47:49don't think that's that far off a lot of
0:47:51people who think oh you know I read a
0:47:53little bit of both layer and and now i
0:47:54want consumption or something or
0:47:56syphilis
0:47:56I think that's absolutely true Bukowski
0:47:58I think he thought he would drink and
0:47:59drink himself into being Hemingway and
0:48:01eat he turned out to be pretty good at
0:48:03it i think the drinking the death part
0:48:05yeah and the being anyway I mean I think
0:48:07his book i think his poetry is great i
0:48:10mean his books are all the same but i
0:48:11think his poetry is some of them
0:48:14some of the best well to me I don't know
0:48:16I should come up with a name for this
0:48:17like him hundreds Thompson Joni Mitchell
0:48:20neil young Bob Dylan there are these
0:48:22people who spawned so many horrible
0:48:26imitators that you almost wish they
0:48:28hadn't existed but there's so many
0:48:30people I like hunter s thompson is
0:48:31writing so much but I like hundreds
0:48:33Thompson's writing the people the people
0:48:35who decided to try and ate what they
0:48:37perceive to be his persona and then kind
0:48:39of half-assed their way through this
0:48:40this style of writing that didn't have
0:48:42the same editorial care that he did like
0:48:44use it
0:48:44he was a really good writer he meant
0:48:46every word of that to sound that way you
0:48:49know it wasn't he wasn't just a deranged
0:48:50guy at the airport
0:48:51you know he created that that feeling in
0:48:53that tone and who wrote done Bukowski
0:48:56right
0:48:56barfly they write that oh yeah yeah but
0:48:59I mean you have to have your senses the
0:49:00problem you know it's a glam Faulkner
0:49:02wrote he drank when he wasn't drinking
0:49:05excuse me he drank when he wasn't
0:49:06writing like either because he was done
0:49:08with the project because he was you know
0:49:10what I'm saying
0:49:11did not sit down and get drunk in order
0:49:13right it's like it's such a turn-on it's
0:49:15such a cop-out it's something that seems
0:49:16so romantic
0:49:17when you're younger like me sitting
0:49:18there with a hat i bought at goodwill
0:49:20and a manual typewriter like thinking
0:49:22that I was going to be you know anybody
0:49:24that has a manual typewriter a hat was
0:49:25ridiculous
0:49:26your kids are stupid fucks so fucking
0:49:28stupid we can't put them in camps yet so
0:49:31i think we are there were getting closer
0:49:32we're getting closer all the time I
0:49:34think people are fed up I've been
0:49:35talking to people about i am not the
0:49:36only one I think I think the sympathy
0:49:39for teenagers in particular is is
0:49:41plummeting really oh I do you know the
0:49:44total idea teenagers we invented that
0:49:46that's an invention
0:49:47yeah that's true that's a technology its
0:49:48well you go back you go back to any
0:49:50other any other century before the 20th
0:49:52century there was no such thing as not
0:49:54even a twentieth-century my mom talks
0:49:56about it leaves a 5250 yeah but being a
0:50:01teenager in the fifties and she said
0:50:04that there was absolutely no interest
0:50:06among her peers in being anything other
0:50:10than adult as soon as you possibly could
0:50:13because your child until you became an
0:50:15adult
0:50:15that's right you think it was like they
0:50:17were like r-rated movies or something
0:50:19so my mom when I think about when I
0:50:21think about her life she turned 21
0:50:24[Music]
0:50:25in 1955 which was the birth of rock and
0:50:30roll
0:50:30uh-huh and she was living in ohio which
0:50:35was like the heart of where
0:50:37rock-and-roll really caught fire and she
0:50:41worked at a radio station you know she
0:50:44worked over to the television station
0:50:45but she you know she was friends with
0:50:47DJs and Elvis and Jerry Lee Lewis and
0:50:53and Fats Domino and all this stuff was
0:50:56happening right there and I've
0:50:58Christopher million times it was like
0:50:59you know was there because we think
0:51:01about a twenty-one-year-old right now 21
0:51:04and those your prime like that if if if
0:51:08there if there is a rock music scene
0:51:09happening like you're 21 years old
0:51:12you're in the heart of it right that's
0:51:13that's the beginning of your rock
0:51:15appreciation years but differently you
0:51:18can't you couldn't fathom a world in
0:51:20which somebody 21 with direct access to
0:51:22rock and roll would not be steeped in at
0:51:2322 hours a day
0:51:25yeah and she said that was music that
0:51:27was music and culture for little
0:51:30children and I was 21 and so I was
0:51:34wearing white gloves and a pillbox hat
0:51:37and was going to I guess is right before
0:51:39the pillbox happen when I was wearing
0:51:41adult clothes and i was listening to
0:51:43smooth jazz which is what adults did and
0:51:46the end there was no i wasn't gonna go
0:51:48sit in a crowd of of little girls like
0:51:51screaming at some greaser right I was
0:51:54like well i hear ya you know and she's
0:51:59like that's some kind of this whole
0:52:01business of T of being a teenager was
0:52:04invented right then and didn't exist
0:52:07before really before bro or two and and
0:52:12the idea that you could be a 27 year old
0:52:13teenager you know that's only 15 years
0:52:16old but now this I was so I was so you
0:52:21know it's funny as you get older and you
0:52:22make these connections you figure out
0:52:23things like oh my god my friends parents
0:52:25wedding date is no fewer than nine
0:52:28months after you don't mean like you
0:52:30figure out these oh my God all these
0:52:31things we go oh my gosh this is not what
0:52:32it appears to be like they were pregnant
0:52:34she's bringing when they got me
0:52:35hi marcus when I will suddenly realized
0:52:38oh my god
0:52:38you used to be young and like this
0:52:41beatles album was out when you were you
0:52:45know she was in her twenties but I was
0:52:47like oh my gosh that you can add like
0:52:49really into like into the beatles and
0:52:50they're like oh I mean and I don't know
0:52:52if this is not what your mom was saying
0:52:54but in that case it was like you
0:52:55understand now where this is from
0:52:56southern Ohio so there's the Indian
0:52:58influence as you know
0:52:59yeah southern Ohio is might as well be a
0:53:00politer out we yeah we you better people
0:53:04better might as well be that little true
0:53:06southern Ohio is Dixie I've only ever
0:53:09heard secondhand ever heard people use
0:53:11the phrase race music but i think that
0:53:13might as well and yet ironically know
0:53:16you don't mean it was something was de
0:53:18clase or as your power column below it
0:53:20was ghosh it wasn't the kind of thing
0:53:22that an adult would listen to and so she
0:53:24was they were really in a king cole and
0:53:26and that was the coolest thing they're
0:53:27into his neck and Cole after the trio
0:53:30like him singing I'm talking about like
0:53:31they're in a mantovani they were they
0:53:33were originally it was called beautiful
0:53:35music right now that you did that's what
0:53:37you did
0:53:38yeah yeah I in fact I i think i think my
0:53:42mom said the first Beatles song that
0:53:43really connected with her she said that
0:53:46we met when yesterday came out that was
0:53:49the sort of the beatles that converted
0:53:53that the whole generation of adults who
0:53:57were they realized oh these these teeny
0:54:00boppers actually are writing actually
0:54:03capable of writing beautiful music
0:54:05because yesterday was a song that
0:54:07appealed across generations in class and
0:54:11and when that song came out the way my
0:54:13mom describes that you know even my dad
0:54:15who was who was by that time 45 years
0:54:19old even he appreciated that song
0:54:22Frank Sinatra appreciated that song like
0:54:26it was that was the moment that the
0:54:27Beatles grew up and became something
0:54:30that you could that you could say that
0:54:32you can appreciate being something other
0:54:35than just for children never and and
0:54:39that always stuck with me like you think
0:54:41about yesterday as being just one of the
0:54:43many great people songs but to think of
0:54:44it as a watershed moment
0:54:46in their own career where they were they
0:54:48were growing up and that's like the most
0:54:50covered song of all time the most
0:54:52covered songs of all time because every
0:54:54single person in the world looks back at
0:54:57their past and wishes they had done it
0:55:00differently
0:55:00yeah houses this is really this is a
0:55:03good one
0:55:04this is going to really look at it it's
0:55:07just constant let me ask you this did
0:55:10you how much do you worry about Venus
0:55:14like I i am finally accepting the extent
0:55:17to which i just could fucking care less
0:55:20about almost everything you know I think
0:55:22that letter birds fun i believe is the
0:55:24one who said that you're not you're not
0:55:25obligated to appreciate any music that
0:55:26was written during your lifetime but
0:55:28something like that but like right now
0:55:30like I just I hear that hear everything
0:55:31comes out and I I sound like the kind of
0:55:34people i hated when I was 16
0:55:36because I it just it really i mean like
0:55:38it even want to hear like a really good
0:55:39like any rock band I'm like okay that
0:55:41sounds like a not as good version of the
0:55:42Buzzcocks or whatever I don't like what
0:55:44you like now you this is your part of
0:55:46the industry you have to know these
0:55:48things you have to keep up-to-date right
0:55:49mm you feared you fear the focus you
0:55:51kind of always been filling in some ways
0:55:53right well that's exactly right i mean i
0:55:55remember when i was 16 years old
0:55:57a friend of mine and I were over at his
0:55:59house and he was one of those kids that
0:56:01called his parents by their first name
0:56:03and it's not because they were hippies
0:56:05it was because they were they were like
0:56:09I don't know what I i never understood
0:56:11their family that family dynamic but
0:56:12this kid's name was Eric and his his
0:56:15dad's name is Dean and his mom's name
0:56:17was ed and he called demon ed and we
0:56:21were over at demon eighties so we of
0:56:23course we all did you know there are
0:56:25other DVD Spurlock's and his mom said to
0:56:32us kind of this is one of those things
0:56:34that I'm I'm always careful not to say
0:56:36to kids
0:56:37I'm always careful not to talk to
0:56:38teenagers this way because everyone's
0:56:40well somebody would say this some
0:56:42well-meaning adult would say this type
0:56:43of thing to me and it really you know
0:56:46your mind works on it for years
0:56:47afterwards but she said she said to me
0:56:50and her son she was like um listen boys
0:56:52I know your peers don't think you're
0:56:55handsome now
0:56:56but you're both very handsome men and
0:56:59you just haven't grown into it yet but
0:57:02rest assure the criminal perspective you
0:57:05guys are both going to be very handsome
0:57:07man and you just relax don't worry that
0:57:09you are awkward that she actually think
0:57:12that was going to be helpful at uniting
0:57:13don't worry that you are awkward ugly
0:57:15unappealing teenagers because you have
0:57:17you are clearly going to grow up and be
0:57:20handsome men and we were both like blue
0:57:22and kind of Sally Roe looked at each
0:57:25other when she said this to us as we're
0:57:26walking out the door like on our way out
0:57:28like bye see you later she was like oh
0:57:31by the way boys just one last thing
0:57:33before you go
0:57:34and so we go get in his car were both
0:57:35like oh and he's like ah you know sorry
0:57:41my mom sometimes I was like no no it's
0:57:43fine it's fine you know we're both like
0:57:45turning it over months for handsome men
0:57:48ok but where unappealing teenagers all
0:57:51right uh no
0:57:53and at that moment I knew that I was an
0:57:57old fogey you know she planted in my
0:58:00mind the idea that Mike mark best years
0:58:03were always gonna be in front of me I
0:58:05was always going to be chasing after the
0:58:08you know I'm gonna be one of those
0:58:10people that becomes becomes beautiful as
0:58:13he becomes the gray you know like and so
0:58:20I've never I've never been worried about
0:58:22being hip but what I what I'm noticing
0:58:23now as i get older is that I have to
0:58:28resist the fatalism that comes with that
0:58:31but they're like well fuck it you know
0:58:35000 people get fat so why not just let
0:58:39it happen or like you kids go run and
0:58:42play
0:58:43I'll just sit here and sort rust emails
0:58:46into different jars should know like I
0:58:50have no worry about me i got the nail
0:58:52jars i got my nail jars i got some
0:58:54screws over here get to or i can finish
0:58:56the males and and I got all these cans i
0:59:01think about worry about becoming
0:59:03calcified or or inflexible you know the
0:59:06same kind of people who said you know
0:59:07who
0:59:08look down their nose at the bread you
0:59:09know whatever Jerry Lee Lewis or or rap
0:59:12music or whatever they call hip-hop now
0:59:13that but you know I wonder what I'm
0:59:15missing out on by being the way I am
0:59:18but then I see teenagers i get so
0:59:19fucking angry i see themselves and only
0:59:22thing to do with that like I want all of
0:59:23you to be put somewhere because
0:59:24everything you're doing is wrong
0:59:26yeah the secret to the 20 to the fact
0:59:29that like I don't understand
0:59:31I really don't understand video games
0:59:33that that that require tremendous
0:59:37investment of time and practice that's
0:59:40actually that's a perfect example
0:59:42you know what I mean like I don't
0:59:43understand them I i played video games
0:59:46when i was a kid i was there at the
0:59:47birth of video games as a kid I was
0:59:50their target audience but I didn't make
0:59:52the transition to first-person shooter
0:59:54games I didn't make the transition from
0:59:55the video games it wasn't it wasn't like
0:59:58you said there with a headset planes
0:59:58you said there with a headset planes
1:00:00that's for 16 hours a day but but I I
1:00:03fully understand i see in the culture i
1:00:06see that video game that internet that
1:00:09immersive video games are are simply a
1:00:13thing that i do not understand they I
1:00:17can I i am not in a position to say to
1:00:20make a value judgment about them because
1:00:21they are simply I think I do not
1:00:23understand and and there was a while I
1:00:27think what I would have said that they
1:00:29were bullshit but that is where that
1:00:31that is coming from the same voice of
1:00:33somebody that says that Elvis is jungle
1:00:35music or right now it's the same
1:00:37ignorance that that the only way you can
1:00:39express your ignorance is it as like
1:00:42Angry contempt or whatever and so I have
1:00:45to say I have to step out i act like i
1:00:46have i've completely stepped away from
1:00:48the conversation about hip hop in
1:00:50American culture because i was i was
1:00:53very invested in hip hop up to a point
1:00:55and then it lost me and then I then it
1:01:01went into a realm where and now I don't
1:01:04relate to it I there's very little
1:01:05hip-hop now that I really to it all but
1:01:08just to make any comment about it i is
1:01:11just just it
1:01:12the only thing i can say with authority
1:01:13is I don't understand it
1:01:15good luck god bless I cannot I cannot
1:01:18make a value judgment about modern hip
1:01:20hop because I just don't have not
1:01:22invested the time to understand that so
1:01:26that's that's where I am with video
1:01:27games I I feel this I mean I I at least
1:01:30have hopefully the presence of mind to
1:01:32go there must be something here I have
1:01:33lots of friends who are really smart
1:01:35my concern with the video games I think
1:01:36it's way bigger than I ever expected or
1:01:38ever will get yeah and i think there's
1:01:40this whole thing it's like I refuse to
1:01:42believe in cars or something you know
1:01:44what I mean I i was watching thing I
1:01:46don't know how I got here I was
1:01:48searching the internet as you do and i
1:01:52got to a thing and I got to another
1:01:53thing and I was in that somebody was
1:01:55pranking somebody and I was watching a
1:01:57YouTube video of somebody get pranked
1:01:58and then you over on the side there's
1:02:00all these like if you like that youtube
1:02:01video you should watch this and side i'm
1:02:04following a chain and I get to this
1:02:07YouTube video
1:02:08we're guy has screen captured himself
1:02:14playing a video game and he and and then
1:02:18the point of the video is that he is a
1:02:21pirate and other people are playing this
1:02:24multi multiplayer game and it's a
1:02:27civilization game out in space where
1:02:29they have battleships and they're
1:02:30sailing from different planets and
1:02:32they're collecting resources and all
1:02:34this type of thing and he is he screen
1:02:37capturing himself stealing somebody
1:02:41else's battleship and then realizing it
1:02:44because they're all talking to each
1:02:45other you know what i mean and i'm
1:02:47watching this video and and what's on
1:02:50the screen is just gibberish to me it's
1:02:52like a okay we're in outer space and
1:02:54they see little their little menus on
1:02:58either side of the screen and obviously
1:03:00somebody has a collection of battleships
1:03:04somewhere and and this guy is kind of
1:03:06typing at the bottom like now I'm going
1:03:08to steal their battleship watch this and
1:03:10you hear people talking they're like
1:03:11wait a minute where's battleship X and
1:03:15and you feel them the dawning
1:03:17realization that someone has just as
1:03:19just rip them off and as I'm watching
1:03:23this five minute long video I realized
1:03:25these people have been playing this game
1:03:26three years and that in this alternate
1:03:30reality they have a gift that they are
1:03:34completely invested in their identities
1:03:36there and and it filled me with a with a
1:03:39sense of a filthy with a deep sorrow in
1:03:41the sense that humankind is not actually
1:03:44exploring in outer space you are you
1:03:46cannot no matter how hard you work
1:03:49actually have a fleet of battleships by
1:03:53the Tannhauser gate and watch the seed
1:03:56beams glitter you know like there's no
1:03:59we are not there yet but these these
1:04:02people playing this game are living it
1:04:04in their imaginations in this other
1:04:07world in their living in the future in
1:04:10the future and when they log off their
1:04:13computer and have to go downstairs and
1:04:14eat their macaroni and cheese or when
1:04:16they have to log off in the morning and
1:04:18go to work at their job
1:04:20like reality cannot possibly compare to
1:04:23this to the intrigue and the dynamism of
1:04:27this online world and I just was like oh
1:04:30my god I i I'd I don't grab like I
1:04:33finally grasped the littlest bit of what
1:04:36that what being really a gamer is and I
1:04:42you know and it's like with chilled me
1:04:44that's a lot of investment you too
1:04:47well they're investing all what what
1:04:49they're investing all the energy that
1:04:51they would be investing in I guess what
1:04:54made that but I'm having I have to guess
1:04:56what made that interesting was that
1:04:57somebody put a lot of effort into
1:04:59getting them battleship is equal to like
1:05:01stealing somebody's house or something
1:05:02yeah I was it was they were you were
1:05:04stealing something real from them which
1:05:06was the time they had put into earning
1:05:09that in this in this game world we
1:05:11shouldn't talk about this that is that
1:05:13is so fucking depressing thoughts and
1:05:16particularly with the one that won games
1:05:17like figure out ways to at to have these
1:05:21these resources within the game be worth
1:05:23real money in the outside world
1:05:25you know I don't know I don't know
1:05:27they're going to be people who are
1:05:28millionaires and what they have done is
1:05:31stolen other people's battleships in
1:05:34fake outer space and that it may become
1:05:38millionaires in the real world from that
1:05:40implies a nicer macaroni and cheese that
1:05:43is that's already happening you know
1:05:44there are already people something and
1:05:46this is the shows were older we're
1:05:47talking about any of this to project
1:05:49their eyes but I don't know they're all
1:05:51are all our listeners that have green
1:05:53hair and nose piercings are like come on
1:05:55granddad understand that not only can
1:05:58you find an automobile and drive it you
1:06:01can hire somebody who for a living
1:06:03drives cars yet tell him where you want
1:06:06to go you don't have to feed it not but
1:06:09gasps apart and he'll drive it anywhere
1:06:12no it doesn't stop there he's got a
1:06:15telephone in his pocket that he can use
1:06:17to make a map show
1:06:19oh we boldly well they're out there
1:06:23they're out there they're cashing their
1:06:25bitcoins right now to have a higher
1:06:27somebody on the Deep Web on the silk
1:06:30road to come kill us both
1:06:32what's inside of
1:06:34poisoned dart maybe they could sell that
1:06:36battleship and amazon shipped my hug
1:06:37i'll also you hug for five bucks just
1:06:42come and work with your net on that
1:06:43which had on hugs i was making bank on
1:06:46hugs
1:06:47lu two three four once you've got
1:06:49economies of scale in his arms
1:06:51the problem is there's always somebody
1:06:52comes up because do I really have to pay
1:06:54five bucks for a hug and I feel like a
1:06:57jerk say yeah he say do I really have to
1:06:59answer you only two dollars like if here
1:07:02here's what I'm going to say from here
1:07:03on out if you don't want to pay five
1:07:05bucks for a hug then I give you the hug
1:07:08of my choice
1:07:09hmm i give you the hug i want to give
1:07:12not the hug you want and that's gonna
1:07:15that's going to dissuade some people and
1:07:17your problem is you're you're like
1:07:19you're like a museum when you've got
1:07:21like the suggested donation box you need
1:07:23some way where there is a portcullis or
1:07:24something where they can get near you
1:07:25came and asked questions about that shit
1:07:27right I need a merch girl who's standing
1:07:29there taking five bucks and given
1:07:30tickets you somebody somebody somebody
1:07:32pick who says you need a strong question
1:07:34when they take cross my palm right cross
1:07:37my palm
1:07:37nothing is if people want a hug for less
1:07:40than five bucks and I get to grope them
1:07:43inappropriately for my own amusement
1:07:45right then I feel like I'm getting five
1:07:47bucks worth if they if they would if
1:07:50they if they knowingly come in under the
1:07:53under the under the new rules that i get
1:07:55to do whatever I want
1:07:57that's worth five bucks you can have me
1:07:59there they've open to negotiation not
1:08:01you that's right so if if part of my hug
1:08:04is that I grab the back of their
1:08:05underpants and pull real hard you get a
1:08:07real good grip on the saddle backs
1:08:09yeah I wouldn't have done that if they
1:08:11had paid me five bucks but that's the
1:08:12but they were like let's let's let's
1:08:16wrangle got my haircut yesterday and was
1:08:19getting my hair cut at the lake of my
1:08:21hair and there's somebody else and she's
1:08:22watching a little tiny TV with the
1:08:23volume turned up really really loud i
1:08:25couldn't see what was on the screen but
1:08:26you know in the 20 minutes it took for
1:08:29this haircut a definite volume they were
1:08:31watching TV program and that is plastic
1:08:35surgeries and so there's there's live
1:08:37like this showing plastic surgeries and
1:08:40as I SAT there and I don't know I like
1:08:42I'm not super creeped out by stuff but I
1:08:44mean I'm get a procedure here there's
1:08:45somebody with with scissors
1:08:47cutting part of my body mmm and it was
1:08:49like every time they come back from the
1:08:50commercial be like what's really
1:08:52disturbing something i recommend for
1:08:53children and then go now we're guess you
1:08:55can see as we get in here and we make
1:08:56the incision we're removing the fat pads
1:08:59and now we're gonna show you by
1:09:00demonstrating on this avocado what we
1:09:02can do with the laser and she stays out
1:09:03of the Sun that skin should say so how
1:09:04does that feel it feels better fucking
1:09:07blew my mind there's a TV show about
1:09:09about their than when they show you
1:09:10plastic surgery
1:09:11have you seen this before I haven't but
1:09:13I know that plastic surgery is one of
1:09:15the you know everybody has the fantasy
1:09:17that with a little nip and talk they
1:09:21will go from being hideous too beautiful
1:09:22so I understand why that's popular i
1:09:25guess i just now i can think about fat
1:09:26pads
1:09:27what I don't understand is why I spend
1:09:29so much time on the internet looking at
1:09:31like fail blogs about shitty tattoos
1:09:36I like my friends curate that for me but
1:09:40i do enjoy them when I find them
1:09:42yeah i don't i'm never gonna get a
1:09:43tattoo I i know the ship is my ship has
1:09:46sailed on that but why take so much
1:09:48pleasure looking at other peoples curate
1:09:51curations like tumblr pages of people's
1:09:54ill-advised tattoos i don't know i don't
1:09:57know why i like it's like it's like a
1:09:59misspelling a misspelling in a tattoo or
1:10:02like some some somewhere where the
1:10:04tattoo started and you could tell that
1:10:06the person didn't have a have a complete
1:10:09grasp of perspective okay someone the
1:10:11other day where you ATT Brett's got a
1:10:13greater gallery was it was an American
1:10:16flag that was that was flapping in the
1:10:17wind but but but the but the folds in
1:10:21the flag any fool could tell that if you
1:10:24straightened out that flag would be like
1:10:2615 feet long and the person who has
1:10:29curated this blog took the took the time
1:10:32to count the count the stripes on the
1:10:35flag and in the first the first the
1:10:38first curve and had eleven stripes and
1:10:42then had 14 stripes that drives drives
1:10:44and it so it's a 15 foot long flag which
1:10:48has not been a different numbers of
1:10:50stripes throughout its length and only
1:10:52at nine stars was just like that's
1:10:54wonderful but the emphasis of argument
1:10:57though it's a printer pro-america
1:10:59patriotic kind of flag
1:11:00spot it's not it's not about the complex
1:11:02nature of statehood no no not at all it
1:11:05was about and I think I think it
1:11:06expressed perfectly that the tattoo
1:11:07artist began the tattoo with no
1:11:11forethought and said I know an American
1:11:14flag and I know how this is gonna turn
1:11:16out it's going to turn out awesome
1:11:18yeah and just drew it like free hand and
1:11:21just was like I know how this works that
1:11:24is that says a lot that may be why hate
1:11:26tattoos I really i'm always happy to
1:11:29know that I can undo something stupid
1:11:31that i did and for me just for myself
1:11:33like always having that there for almost
1:11:35everything is a great consolation for me
1:11:37and if you have the reason I don't have
1:11:40a tomtom I'd like a Thompson Twins
1:11:41outlawed back from a lot of scars have
1:11:45two scars that i know of where the two
1:11:48scars have a very small tiny tiny tiny
1:11:51scar under my nose or my mom
1:11:53accidentally kicked me with your
1:11:55fingernail which was a kid she still
1:11:56feels about and then I have a really
1:11:58cool scar on my leg from where I jumped
1:12:00a ramp and got like a one-foot come out
1:12:02now get put a half kind of my leg jump
1:12:04the ramp on a skateboard or bike i want
1:12:07to buy whatever the handlebars
1:12:08yeah oh yeah what about you what you got
1:12:11I'm covered with scars from and you're
1:12:14like you're like wolverine and some of
1:12:16them are gruesome and and those are like
1:12:20tattoos those are the thing about me
1:12:22that are like tattoos that I that some
1:12:24of them are things that I cannot take
1:12:25back and then add that i wish i had i
1:12:29wish i could do it over again so that i
1:12:30did not have it's not that the scar
1:12:32itself is unsightly it is that the scar
1:12:35represents now if a point of weakness of
1:12:38physical disability in the making
1:12:41no like the scar scar is the last
1:12:44outward sign of some internal damage
1:12:46that HS talking analogy or in terms of
1:12:50bodily integrity no bodily integrity as
1:12:52its weakened the fiber of your largest
1:12:55organ now when i was a young person i
1:12:57put my physical self through the paces
1:13:01and now that I'm in my forties I feel
1:13:05those things now I feel and it isn't
1:13:08just like all the barometers changing
1:13:10arigato
1:13:12little bit of a thing in my knee it's
1:13:15that it is that is that there are parts
1:13:18of me that will fail before other parts
1:13:20miserable because they have been they
1:13:24have been compromised but you got you
1:13:26got a few good years and you're right
1:13:27oh yeah yeah but-but-but I mean I
1:13:30watched because my dad also like wore
1:13:34out his body in the pursuit of a
1:13:37physical thrill and you know as he got
1:13:40older she started to he started
1:13:43diverting about the time he was 80 years
1:13:45old and we had gone to university of
1:13:47washington football game and I told you
1:13:49this now I never heard it and we're
1:13:51we're leaving the stadium and the e the
1:13:53United football stadium is there a kind
1:13:56of perched on a grassy hill overlooking
1:14:00Lake Washington and after the game and
1:14:04an R star tickets were always way up in
1:14:06the nosebleed seats you know my dad
1:14:08don't know why the hell he didn't pull
1:14:11some strings or whatever but but he felt
1:14:13like being way up in the bleachers with
1:14:15all the undergrads was the only way to
1:14:18watch university of washington football
1:14:20and so I'd walk up there with him five
1:14:23flights of stairs to to watch these
1:14:25football games in the window in the
1:14:27November wind we were walking across the
1:14:29grassy field after the game and you know
1:14:33it's it's a grassy hill and it's got
1:14:34trees and and the cars are kind of
1:14:38parked on the grass we're walking out to
1:14:39our car and all of a sudden he trips on
1:14:42our route something he's he's 80 and he
1:14:47goes he he goes face-first down this
1:14:53hill and I'm like it happens in super
1:14:55slow motion like Oh dad and he's just
1:14:58he's just too far from me that I can
1:15:00like get under him or get in front of
1:15:02him and and and take the brunt of the
1:15:04fall or whatever and she heads down this
1:15:08hill face-first you know it a swan dive
1:15:11and somehow tuxes shoulder
1:15:16rolls like doesn't full-on barrel roll
1:15:20and comes out on his feet haha is 80 is
1:15:25a be standing there like and he just
1:15:32keeps keeps walking