Roderick on the Line

Ep. 26: "Go Practice the Car"


00:00:00   hello hey John how are you hi Berlin [TS]

00:00:08   how's it going man John Roderick no it's [TS]

00:00:16   not a good song [TS]

00:00:17   no you don't like that it's a marquee [TS]

00:00:18   like marches you know what I did I i [TS]

00:00:20   cribbed a little bit from Janet Jackson [TS]

00:00:22   and I think that's what you should do [TS]

00:00:24   you should go back to the great stars of [TS]

00:00:27   our youth and and find a song [TS]

00:00:30   ok make some notes I mean you know what [TS]

00:00:33   I didn't have to find it it's like a [TS]

00:00:36   kind of synesthesia when I hear your [TS]

00:00:39   name as i hear your voice [TS]

00:00:41   huh who had that was it baudrillard [TS]

00:00:43   Baudelaire body and who had somebody had [TS]

00:00:45   that first beaudry Audrey was the guy [TS]

00:00:49   that says that this is some the TV guy [TS]

00:00:52   that's not going [TS]

00:00:53   that's one thing of you know I you know [TS]

00:00:55   I tell my daughter this you know [TS]

00:00:56   anything about Bruce Lee and this is [TS]

00:00:58   true and Bruce Lee success you know [TS]

00:01:01   because he's a great actor is a terrific [TS]

00:01:03   actor [TS]

00:01:04   yeah you know that thing is he's very is [TS]

00:01:07   a very moving story very moving story [TS]

00:01:09   but you know what i heard Bruce Lee says [TS]

00:01:10   bruce lee says if you want to break a [TS]

00:01:12   board and I'm again i'm not really sure [TS]

00:01:14   how effective that is from day to day [TS]

00:01:15   but if you want to break a board you [TS]

00:01:17   know what you donate for the board homo [TS]

00:01:19   Game two inches behind the board [TS]

00:01:21   wow that affects me in day-to-day life [TS]

00:01:24   you keep your painting two inches behind [TS]

00:01:27   the board I've never hit a board but I [TS]

00:01:28   know when it happens I have a pretty [TS]

00:01:30   good idea where to aim at something and [TS]

00:01:33   he shouldn't think he might have done [TS]

00:01:34   that metrics isn't from hong kong [TS]

00:01:36   oh yeah but that was before metrics were [TS]

00:01:38   invented ok that's how am I Thurman got [TS]

00:01:41   out of that coffin was buried six feet [TS]

00:01:45   underground [TS]

00:01:46   oh and that the number with the guy [TS]

00:01:49   likes feet [TS]

00:01:50   that's right I said that was ok ok I [TS]

00:01:52   think about that all the time because i [TS]

00:01:54   have a have a lot of I'm a [TS]

00:01:57   claustrophobic and I have a fear of [TS]

00:01:59   being buried alive [TS]

00:02:03   but but but you know that's how you [TS]

00:02:05   probably research this in your many [TS]

00:02:07   sleepless nights you know that's a thing [TS]

00:02:08   right you're not alone in that in my [TS]

00:02:10   long shot [TS]

00:02:11   Oh about being buried i haven't [TS]

00:02:13   researched it because it's not think [TS]

00:02:14   that that is not a topic that I want to [TS]

00:02:17   socially networked ok ok so you're not [TS]

00:02:21   on Cora like asking questions about or [TS]

00:02:23   ask metafilter like the best way to deal [TS]

00:02:26   with no selling I just want to put out [TS]

00:02:29   of my mind when it comes into my mind i [TS]

00:02:31   asked myself how did this get in my mind [TS]

00:02:33   just look to get out can be honest I [TS]

00:02:36   don't buy that is that right [TS]

00:02:38   oh you kidding me you keep cigarettes [TS]

00:02:40   around your house just to make yourself [TS]

00:02:41   stronger seems to me like you're the [TS]

00:02:43   kind of person who might actually I [TS]

00:02:45   don't know if you want to get can [TS]

00:02:46   strengthen his coffin but you would get [TS]

00:02:47   some kind of a coffin that you could [TS]

00:02:49   practice with em it's really even [TS]

00:02:52   talking about it now is giving me the [TS]

00:02:53   creepy-crawlies I think it was a pole [TS]

00:02:56   there i think it was i have to look this [TS]

00:02:57   up i think it was a girl and Poe had the [TS]

00:02:59   same you know what did he do the thing [TS]

00:03:01   where they put the item in the brick the [TS]

00:03:03   guy into the Cask of Amontillado cask of [TS]

00:03:06   amontillado I think he had some kind of [TS]

00:03:09   a special coffin that had like hinges [TS]

00:03:10   and a phone here and he had a plan this [TS]

00:03:14   I'm sorry I don't wanna upset you but it [TS]

00:03:15   just seems to me that your man who [TS]

00:03:17   arguably thrives if you like lives by by [TS]

00:03:21   confronting your fears don't think Edgar [TS]

00:03:24   Allan Poe had a phone in his coffin [TS]

00:03:26   I don't have a way to prove that just [TS]

00:03:28   just look just going back on the [TS]

00:03:30   timeline who you don't think so not at [TS]

00:03:32   all he couldn't have like guy I don't [TS]

00:03:34   matter how to bail i think i'm gonna [TS]

00:03:37   give me a quick one hit [TS]

00:03:40   he's alive you need a pretty big fucking [TS]

00:03:44   belt if you heard six feet under [TS]

00:03:45   well I think what it is is a you have to [TS]

00:03:49   bury it's too late for the bell but [TS]

00:03:51   during the period during the period [TS]

00:03:53   where you can actually just knock on it [TS]

00:03:55   and get people's attention to something [TS]

00:03:57   like a mausoleum [TS]

00:03:58   yeah right okay maybe I he expected to [TS]

00:04:01   be buried above-ground what about when [TS]

00:04:03   you call your Butler don't you pull like [TS]

00:04:04   a large silk rope and then that rings in [TS]

00:04:06   the butler's pantry [TS]

00:04:08   well what do i do know about the [TS]

00:04:10   Centurion supertrain ring on supertrain [TS]

00:04:13   have a butler's pantry the pantry guy [TS]

00:04:15   but here around the house i just use one [TS]

00:04:17   of those uh Lula's did you know that [TS]

00:04:21   those spread disease Lulu's turns out [TS]

00:04:24   that is oh it was Lucilla's ya think [TS]

00:04:28   about that think about of Missoula and I [TS]

00:04:30   think it was the zoo [TS]

00:04:31   I don't know how to pronounce I don't [TS]

00:04:32   really care but there was this is a [TS]

00:04:34   thing when you had the soccer thing a [TS]

00:04:36   few years ago people people in southern [TS]

00:04:38   countries they get this thing and I [TS]

00:04:40   think it's a little bit like those horns [TS]

00:04:42   that you would buy at a shitty carnival [TS]

00:04:45   i can show for really like the drive [TS]

00:04:48   your car around [TS]

00:04:50   no like a shofar the other and that you [TS]

00:04:53   know the Jewish concrete yet to conquer [TS]

00:04:55   ok they get to talk when they have the [TS]

00:04:58   chauffeur [TS]

00:04:59   oh so you're saying is that the talking [TS]

00:05:02   stick at a camp here exactly except that [TS]

00:05:05   I've been carrying it with him through [TS]

00:05:06   the desert that doesn't involve puppets [TS]

00:05:07   at all what the Jewish religion you know [TS]

00:05:10   what's going on about this little [TS]

00:05:11   puppetry in it that's true I so you're [TS]

00:05:14   saying the vuvuzela is a disease [TS]

00:05:16   spreader because it's a because as [TS]

00:05:17   people go blah into it broadcasts their [TS]

00:05:20   germs or just established for our for [TS]

00:05:23   listeners you're not familiar with the [TS]

00:05:25   soccer disease that when i was a kid [TS]

00:05:27   there was lots of really stupid shit [TS]

00:05:29   that you would buy a carnival they would [TS]

00:05:31   either break and or become useless like [TS]

00:05:33   the song we parted like the thing dogs [TS]

00:05:35   dog on a leash i can remember the coke [TS]

00:05:37   bottle that had been stretched so it was [TS]

00:05:39   really tall that's mysterious I just [TS]

00:05:41   kept thinking about easy that would be a [TS]

00:05:42   break or the or the dog leash but there [TS]

00:05:45   was no dog visible possible so nicely [TS]

00:05:48   you could also like if you finally came [TS]

00:05:50   to air lots of cocaine red laser scanner [TS]

00:05:52   38 special who do you think of who you [TS]

00:05:54   associate with coke mirrors [TS]

00:05:55   uh I'm sure I think 38 specials pretty [TS]

00:05:59   that's a pretty good grab em I'm gonna [TS]

00:06:02   say also about Van Halen is a big coke [TS]

00:06:07   mirror thing you think they saw any [TS]

00:06:08   money from that [TS]

00:06:10   now that was before you could track all [TS]

00:06:13   that stuff down i don't really [TS]

00:06:15   first-rate bring coke mirrors all across [TS]

00:06:17   America if they had a friend they have [TS]

00:06:19   phones at the time of Van Halen they [TS]

00:06:22   didn't have phones but not in traveling [TS]

00:06:23   carnivals traveling carnivals did all [TS]

00:06:25   their business center but like at a [TS]

00:06:28   phone booth like out by the highway [TS]

00:06:29   ok alright kinda you know i mean i do [TS]

00:06:32   i'm just thinking I could see my can [TS]

00:06:33   think getting on getting on whatever [TS]

00:06:35   version of a carnival person uses for a [TS]

00:06:37   phone and saying what the fuck what the [TS]

00:06:38   fuck where's our words are two central t [TS]

00:06:40   on all these coconut we want our cocaine [TS]

00:06:42   cut one bump is what's called a bump [TS]

00:06:44   yeah we want to bump what we want a [TS]

00:06:46   little bump yeah well the thing that [TS]

00:06:48   used to mystify me was those those [TS]

00:06:52   feathered Roach clips that wrote the [TS]

00:06:55   threat you get those the carnival [TS]

00:06:57   I don't understand what they're for I [TS]

00:07:00   think there's so many drinks at a [TS]

00:07:02   carnival that involve make-believe [TS]

00:07:04   druggies work seems to me that if you [TS]

00:07:06   were really serious about it I don't [TS]

00:07:07   know if I've dick okay once i didn't do [TS]

00:07:09   a lot for me but I'm just thinking the [TS]

00:07:11   right a little funny its robustness [TS]

00:07:16   holiday for you haha all right Matt down [TS]

00:07:20   ok I will come to that um what is this [TS]

00:07:23   drug [TS]

00:07:23   Oh it makes you a makes you feel real [TS]

00:07:27   good general wrong [TS]

00:07:29   oh ok um I'm just thinking that if [TS]

00:07:34   you're someone who was really serious [TS]

00:07:36   about cocaine a you probably aren't [TS]

00:07:39   hanging out at a carnival you're [TS]

00:07:41   probably you're probably hanging out [TS]

00:07:42   with hookers and people who pretend to [TS]

00:07:43   like you so you can get a free bump off [TS]

00:07:45   you [TS]

00:07:45   oh that's where you're wrong my friend [TS]

00:07:48   okay well it's okay this is what this is [TS]

00:07:50   where I need more of your wish so i'm [TS]

00:07:51   thinking you could get going to buy a [TS]

00:07:52   glass a glass coffee table or possibly a [TS]

00:07:55   peter frampton live record em you're [TS]

00:07:58   going to use that now i don't know the [TS]

00:08:00   razors i have rolled wheat on those but [TS]

00:08:02   now and he did you eat had cocaine [TS]

00:08:04   before I've had to ok i think that the [TS]

00:08:07   coke i think that the cocaine mirror was [TS]

00:08:11   was more of a decorative element then [TS]

00:08:14   and then truly like I mean if you're [TS]

00:08:16   when it's time to cut up some cocaine [TS]

00:08:18   who I figure out you're going to use a [TS]

00:08:20   peter frampton album [TS]

00:08:22   you're not gonna you're not gonna take [TS]

00:08:23   your van Halen mirror down off the wall [TS]

00:08:25   doesn't harm the resale value of the [TS]

00:08:28   fraction album yeah well ensign right [TS]

00:08:31   whatwhat resale value their god i was [TS]

00:08:34   listening to that Peter Frampton the [TS]

00:08:35   other day on the radio [TS]

00:08:37   well I can't account for it i really [TS]

00:08:39   can't i okay I'm glad you said it and I [TS]

00:08:42   mean I never told you my story about the [TS]

00:08:45   records that accidentally got delivered [TS]

00:08:47   to my house you got accidental records [TS]

00:08:49   huh [TS]

00:08:50   did you sign up for one of those record [TS]

00:08:51   programs and then accidentally ordered a [TS]

00:08:53   bunch of not paying for them later [TS]

00:08:56   I one copy of sports by Huey Lewis heart [TS]

00:09:00   my credit forever up because you didn't [TS]

00:09:03   because they got you [TS]

00:09:04   the guy was a triumph that know all the [TS]

00:09:07   transfers are there was an alliance or [TS]

00:09:08   something was one of their like mid [TS]

00:09:09   eighties ones students say all the [TS]

00:09:11   triumph records were bad it was it was [TS]

00:09:15   like a like brownies version of rush i [TS]

00:09:19   like that you think i'm gonna fake rush [TS]

00:09:21   yeah they were fake rush maybe we try to [TS]

00:09:22   sing high and stuff but 38 special was [TS]

00:09:24   fake Skynyrd no no they were there they [TS]

00:09:27   have a huge pop sensibility also to [TS]

00:09:30   triumph the high disagree you don't want [TS]

00:09:33   the triumph was the pop rush that's [TS]

00:09:35   exactly and triumph or during the Age of [TS]

00:09:38   paola triumph got their shit jammed into [TS]

00:09:42   heavy rotation on MTV and that's why [TS]

00:09:45   people know try emphasis MTV oh you bet [TS]

00:09:48   that the fight the good fight video [TS]

00:09:50   constantly that was something i'm [TS]

00:09:52   talking about album-oriented radio a [TS]

00:09:55   holiday or in Canada that's right aor [TS]

00:09:57   missed the cut you and say oh you are up [TS]

00:10:02   some poutine [TS]

00:10:03   I didn't even know that triumph was on [TS]

00:10:05   MTV because i was too busy driving [TS]

00:10:07   around behind now awaiting release your [TS]

00:10:09   locomotive or is your flame and should [TS]

00:10:12   you be riding around in the passenger [TS]

00:10:14   seat have a Piper Cub of my friends out [TS]

00:10:18   of Fox [TS]

00:10:20   listening to trial and ammonia is all [TS]

00:10:23   summer i got damaged on I can i point [TS]

00:10:29   out one thing just in passing and [TS]

00:10:31   fucking i never got back to the movies [TS]

00:10:32   umas rock [TS]

00:10:34   here's the thing John I you mention this [TS]

00:10:37   before in a previous visit but you did [TS]

00:10:38   actually once in what I think was what [TS]

00:10:41   you thought seemed like a jockey Weibo [TS]

00:10:43   is obviously serious when I wanted to [TS]

00:10:45   drive one time you offered to put a [TS]

00:10:46   broom stick up my ass [TS]

00:10:47   you've never not driven and so my [TS]

00:10:50   question to you is we know from pump [TS]

00:10:51   chili we know from mr. concentration [TS]

00:10:53   these people driving around that you [TS]

00:10:54   have a suspended license and how did you [TS]

00:10:56   handle it [TS]

00:10:56   why are people always driving around [TS]

00:10:58   John will be that bad but in this [TS]

00:11:01   particular instance will be around on [TS]

00:11:03   record and Frampton powder know what was [TS]

00:11:05   14 when we're driving at that point [TS]

00:11:08   no I had well your precocious John [TS]

00:11:10   technically here's here's how i learned [TS]

00:11:13   to drive can my dad had an Audi 5000 but [TS]

00:11:17   it was a diesel and it had a manual [TS]

00:11:20   transmission and he took me out in the [TS]

00:11:24   town of Girdwood Alaska which was at the [TS]

00:11:26   time of town that had no paved roads it [TS]

00:11:27   was just a little dirt town ski village [TS]

00:11:29   and he showed me how the manual [TS]

00:11:32   transmission work and we worked on it [TS]

00:11:34   you know until I could get the car going [TS]

00:11:36   i was i guess i was 15 i just turned 15 [TS]

00:11:39   and then periodically on his whim a it [TS]

00:11:45   would never happen when I asked to put [TS]

00:11:47   on his whim he would throw me the keys [TS]

00:11:48   and say go practice the car you quit [TS]

00:11:51   doing the voice [TS]

00:11:53   he'd say go practice the crime go drive [TS]

00:11:57   around [TS]

00:11:58   yeah but here's a rule don't know don't [TS]

00:12:00   go over 30 miles an hour without warning [TS]

00:12:03   he would just spring it on you don't [TS]

00:12:05   over 30 quiz hotshot and so [TS]

00:12:08   oh ok so i would get that you know i'm [TS]

00:12:10   15 right and i would go out and get in [TS]

00:12:12   the cards started up i stall it a couple [TS]

00:12:14   times I get it going and then he would [TS]

00:12:16   drive all over Girdwood and pick up [TS]

00:12:18   every kid I knew [TS]

00:12:20   and we would go out to the airport the [TS]

00:12:22   Girdwood airport which was a dirt runway [TS]

00:12:26   about a mile long and we start at one [TS]

00:12:29   end of the runway [TS]

00:12:30   ok driving on the runway with and weed [TS]

00:12:34   flora and you know it's a diesel right [TS]

00:12:36   so it takes risks and operating airport [TS]

00:12:38   where planes went landed and took off [TS]

00:12:40   well yeah but it but it's one of those [TS]

00:12:42   Alaska airports where if you're if [TS]

00:12:44   you're if you're a little airplane [TS]

00:12:45   you're flying into the airport you look [TS]

00:12:48   down and you see if there's anybody [TS]

00:12:49   around and it's really more like an [TS]

00:12:53   off-ramp there's yeah there's a [TS]

00:12:55   frequency that you get on the radio and [TS]

00:12:56   you say Girdwood traffic this is Cessna [TS]

00:13:00   634 mike alpha or whatever a is there [TS]

00:13:03   anyone in the anyone around and then you [TS]

00:13:06   take your hand off the microphone if [TS]

00:13:08   nobody says anything that you're like [TS]

00:13:09   okay it's all me you don't expect it to [TS]

00:13:11   have an Audi 5000 we didn't have a radio [TS]

00:13:14   obviously but we put guitar awfully my [TS]

00:13:19   place we'd started one another one way [TS]

00:13:22   and we Florida but you know it's a [TS]

00:13:24   runway right so you have all the time in [TS]

00:13:26   the world and the and how he would get [TS]

00:13:27   up 215 miles an hour however fast this [TS]

00:13:30   thing could go i would pull the [TS]

00:13:32   emergency brake and we would spin and [TS]

00:13:35   spin and spin if you want anything you [TS]

00:13:38   want anything about the middle of this [TS]

00:13:40   runway you know it's all and all i do i [TS]

00:13:42   mentioned it was covered with snow and [TS]

00:13:44   ice right [TS]

00:13:45   hello winter so we could pull but you [TS]

00:13:48   didn't right over the turkey and this [TS]

00:13:50   thing would just spin like a top you [TS]

00:13:53   know it was so great i mean obviously at [TS]

00:13:56   any second we could have hit a divot or [TS]

00:13:59   whatever and and rolled it 30 times but [TS]

00:14:01   it never happened and then i would drive [TS]

00:14:03   a drive back and and my dad the keys be [TS]

00:14:06   like I learned a lot I that really [TS]

00:14:08   getting it [TS]

00:14:09   I'm really getting it down and he never [TS]

00:14:12   he never caught on urgently the key [TS]

00:14:14   really needy know what you're up to and [TS]

00:14:16   know your trouble here yeah he knew i [TS]

00:14:19   was doing something but I don't think [TS]

00:14:20   anybody expects a fifteen-year-old to go [TS]

00:14:23   drive is dad's car down a runway I mean [TS]

00:14:25   it's I don't think that was that that's [TS]

00:14:27   the thing that's not about me and nature [TS]

00:14:29   didn't [TS]

00:14:30   never ever thing that you're doing what [TS]

00:14:33   you doing maybe they can't even conceive [TS]

00:14:34   of my dad learned to drive in a model a [TS]

00:14:37   you know it's not eat it never occurred [TS]

00:14:41   to him that I would be doing speed [TS]

00:14:43   trials a emergency brake Speed Trials [TS]

00:14:46   even before even before you get up i [TS]

00:14:51   guess you were deep in auto didacticism [TS]

00:14:52   even before you realized because you're [TS]

00:14:54   doing everything on cable TV don't do [TS]

00:14:56   this shows where they show how you can [TS]

00:14:58   become like it like a secret agent [TS]

00:14:59   chauffeur like you get one of those [TS]

00:15:00   heavily armored cars it's just super [TS]

00:15:02   super heavy because you you need a [TS]

00:15:04   special kind of chauffeur if you're [TS]

00:15:05   going to have an armored you know sedan [TS]

00:15:07   you don't know how to get out like a [TS]

00:15:09   drug dealers and surround you how you [TS]

00:15:10   get out [TS]

00:15:11   well that's why Diana Princess of Wales [TS]

00:15:13   the princess of wales died because your [TS]

00:15:16   chauffeur was a hack [TS]

00:15:18   oh and he was wasn't he working for the [TS]

00:15:21   other side he's like a double agent [TS]

00:15:22   sufficient for well I don't know that's [TS]

00:15:24   what they said he was definitely working [TS]

00:15:26   for fayeed or who or whatever her [TS]

00:15:28   boyfriend's name was but you know he was [TS]

00:15:30   drunk and he obviously didn't know how [TS]

00:15:32   to drive his car because he crashed the [TS]

00:15:34   second project management you know pick [TS]

00:15:36   one like he could be drunk or a double [TS]

00:15:37   agent you know or one of the things you [TS]

00:15:39   shouldn't do all this cartridge am i [TS]

00:15:41   right though they're extremely heavy [TS]

00:15:42   because the armory and I don't know if [TS]

00:15:44   the glass makes it heavier the [TS]

00:15:45   specialized are very heavy very heavy [TS]

00:15:47   they are good mileage they don't get [TS]

00:15:49   good mileage but I did learn to recover [TS]

00:15:52   my car I reply learn to recover from [TS]

00:15:54   almost any kind of spin [TS]

00:15:55   I mean I've spun out a lot of cards but [TS]

00:15:58   i but I you know I had learned to [TS]

00:16:00   recover because i had done all this like [TS]

00:16:02   heavy heavy crazy out-of-control car [TS]

00:16:06   work when I was young but my dad did [TS]

00:16:09   catch on to it later because that was [TS]

00:16:12   all I did to that car but when he caught [TS]

00:16:16   on to it when the when the cars expected [TS]

00:16:19   lifespan of 350,000 miles or whatever [TS]

00:16:21   was was dramatically truncated it was [TS]

00:16:24   like who has his car [TS]

00:16:26   why is this car falling apart it's only [TS]

00:16:28   got 60,000 miles on it also as a hit [TS]

00:16:31   over the head to get the get your place [TS]

00:16:33   every couple weeks to replace the [TS]

00:16:34   extremely odd pattern on the tires the [TS]

00:16:39   front left and back right show a lot of [TS]

00:16:41   wear on the outside edges mr. Roderick [TS]

00:16:43   your anti-sway bars are bent beyond [TS]

00:16:46   recognition [TS]

00:16:47   mechana can account for it he makes [TS]

00:16:49   pretty good cars right as a German car [TS]

00:16:50   out he does make good cars and we we [TS]

00:16:53   drove we drove out he's my dad my dad [TS]

00:16:56   picked out he's for many years we had a [TS]

00:16:59   succession of them and they always were [TS]

00:17:01   they ran like tanks but a bit of course [TS]

00:17:06   maintenance costs what they now with no [TS]

00:17:08   I'll see might I had a 1970s VW bus [TS]

00:17:13   which had you know what I had 12 what [TS]

00:17:17   the in-between ones between the two [TS]

00:17:18   models before the Porsche engines [TS]

00:17:20   yeah I didn't have a Porsche no not from [TS]

00:17:23   like a 911 but like you know but I had [TS]

00:17:26   one it was between the pop-up it was [TS]

00:17:29   going to my hinged like the jurors had [TS]

00:17:31   hinge at an angle so you're hot but but [TS]

00:17:33   oh you're talking about a camper yet [TS]

00:17:34   again camper I can also you had like [TS]

00:17:36   that like that like a band i had a [TS]

00:17:38   camper that was totally sweet [TS]

00:17:39   wow yeah yeah was awesome sounds like a [TS]

00:17:42   real real love camper [TS]

00:17:45   well I mean the backseat turned into an [TS]

00:17:48   extremely awkward bed if that's what [TS]

00:17:49   you're asking [TS]

00:17:50   mmhmm yeah I learned from a Christian [TS]

00:17:52   friend Chris who hadn't even though we [TS]

00:17:53   had like making 65 and 66 bus and they [TS]

00:17:57   said you should always keep it in this [TS]

00:17:58   little closet open all doors like a tiny [TS]

00:18:00   little Closet in their super cool yeah [TS]

00:18:02   he always keep a oppressed white shirt [TS]

00:18:06   preferably in the dry cleaning bag in [TS]

00:18:08   there because you will eventually have [TS]

00:18:10   an appearance in court if you don't have [TS]

00:18:11   an and so I just as a real he's a real [TS]

00:18:13   smooth got chris is once I learned so [TS]

00:18:15   much from chris and and so I learned to [TS]

00:18:18   always keep an appearance in court shirt [TS]

00:18:20   with me wherever I go [TS]

00:18:21   that's very smart because you see if you [TS]

00:18:23   show up here wearing like a kind bud [TS]

00:18:26   shirt red and green right you know stash [TS]

00:18:29   right if he said uh I pasa actually [TS]

00:18:35   caught on fire in sprague Washington is [TS]

00:18:38   that right we're not changing the oil [TS]

00:18:39   now they're you know they're air-cooled [TS]

00:18:41   that's my problem i sees my not because [TS]

00:18:43   it wasn't changing the oil enough [TS]

00:18:44   no III triggz oil but that I think what [TS]

00:18:47   it was the best it actually had a [TS]

00:18:48   cracked block and I drove it for a long [TS]

00:18:51   time just [TS]

00:18:54   short distances with him but I took it [TS]

00:18:57   on a long road trip in it caught on fire [TS]

00:19:00   it is that the same that same Chris he's [TS]

00:19:03   just the best we had AI had a what is it [TS]

00:19:05   was a gasket header gasket that you had [TS]

00:19:08   one of those header gaskets he came over [TS]

00:19:10   my house one day and he said this was [TS]

00:19:11   going to happen he said what we're going [TS]

00:19:13   to do and it honestly thought it might [TS]

00:19:15   as well have been like a Brothers Grimm [TS]

00:19:16   thing i no fucking idea how this is [TS]

00:19:18   going to happen he came over to my house [TS]

00:19:20   with like to scissor jacks and a small [TS]

00:19:22   tool box and a few hours later we had [TS]

00:19:25   taken out my engine replaced the gasket [TS]

00:19:26   and it was the most magic we just move [TS]

00:19:28   you put this is Jack's up and then you [TS]

00:19:30   just roll it a little bit and you taking [TS]

00:19:32   the engine out of your car and you're [TS]

00:19:34   repairing your and we have the book that [TS]

00:19:35   little cartoony book that everybody had [TS]

00:19:37   the via awesome VW yeah you know for not [TS]

00:19:40   for dummies but you know what i mean an [TS]

00:19:41   awesome and you know car can book about [TS]

00:19:43   how to fix your VW i remember well and [TS]

00:19:45   it worked [TS]

00:19:45   we did it i mean you understand for me [TS]

00:19:47   like I don't know how to make chocolate [TS]

00:19:48   milk right there blew my mind [TS]

00:19:51   guys like that I have always loved and [TS]

00:19:53   admired so much the ones that are like [TS]

00:19:55   oh oh you have a blown head gasket here [TS]

00:19:57   let me come over and help you fix it [TS]

00:19:59   I wish I had that I had a fiat spider [TS]

00:20:01   for a long time and a friend of mine [TS]

00:20:03   came over and changed all the struts on [TS]

00:20:06   it for me one afternoon didn't even put [TS]

00:20:09   it on a jack like a and just set up on a [TS]

00:20:12   milk crate like a great guy and he ended [TS]

00:20:15   up being he's like a physicist working [TS]

00:20:18   for the manhattan project i mean i guess [TS]

00:20:20   they-- the Manhattan Project kind of [TS]

00:20:22   been to Manhattan Project to it's good [TS]

00:20:25   it's kind of been a been like slits a [TS]

00:20:27   little slower over there red and had a [TS]

00:20:29   project central but no he's working for [TS]

00:20:31   the government making nuclear bombs [TS]

00:20:34   she's an engineer he's a physicist [TS]

00:20:37   shouldn't say don't say they'll say yeah [TS]

00:20:39   um you get clearances for that kind of [TS]

00:20:41   stuff here's the thing now is within [TS]

00:20:43   that little anymore now that will have [TS]

00:20:45   now the Russians are two aren't on a big [TS]

00:20:47   threat that they all the nuclear stuff [TS]

00:20:49   sorry right out in the open it comes the [TS]

00:20:50   cold war have a website now they're like [TS]

00:20:54   here's what we're doing here is how we [TS]

00:20:55   make the bombs no worries just get PDF [TS]

00:20:57   yeah yeah the PDF but that experience I [TS]

00:21:01   had had a big effect on the first of all [TS]

00:21:02   make me feel extremely like a penis [TS]

00:21:05   listen competent man [TS]

00:21:06   but it also is so cool i really get like [TS]

00:21:08   car guys now because back then before [TS]

00:21:10   you get all the stuff like rpw now walk [TS]

00:21:12   with the nation 296 VW but still it's [TS]

00:21:15   got the thing where you plug in the [TS]

00:21:16   thing and it tells you what's wrong with [TS]

00:21:18   the car [TS]

00:21:19   you know what i mean but back then it i [TS]

00:21:21   think it's kind of cool that especially [TS]

00:21:22   with VW's again you know there's [TS]

00:21:24   something you gotta give the Germans [TS]

00:21:25   credit for and in that case like having [TS]

00:21:27   having a kind of engine a true people's [TS]

00:21:30   car if you like or you could actually do [TS]

00:21:32   that yourself was was really inspiring [TS]

00:21:34   know that they're about as complicated [TS]

00:21:36   as a sewing machine or even less [TS]

00:21:38   complicated than the sauces this your [TS]

00:21:40   cell i have sowed I did learn to sew and [TS]

00:21:44   I still I still don't understand how you [TS]

00:21:47   feel but somebody's going to start a [TS]

00:21:49   wiki about how full of shit you are no [TS]

00:21:52   no I learned to sew and you're like [TS]

00:21:53   darning are you talking about like [TS]

00:21:55   making assume no why can't make a suit [TS]

00:21:57   but I learned to sew because because i [TS]

00:22:00   don't like to throw clothes away when [TS]

00:22:03   they have a minor imperfection and so I [TS]

00:22:07   used to bring my clothes to my mom when [TS]

00:22:09   I was in high school and say can you fix [TS]

00:22:11   this [TS]

00:22:12   ripped jacket can you fix this pair of [TS]

00:22:15   trash jeans or whatever and my mom had [TS]

00:22:19   comes from that sort of depression-era [TS]

00:22:21   way of thinking where it's like who you [TS]

00:22:26   can keep you can keep a piece of [TS]

00:22:27   clothing going only so long but I [TS]

00:22:29   believe she actually has a she carries a [TS]

00:22:32   white pressed shirt everywhere she goes [TS]

00:22:34   and a certain point she felt like these [TS]

00:22:36   clothes were were reflecting poorly on [TS]

00:22:39   the family like that i was out there [TS]

00:22:42   wearing these patched look you know like [TS]

00:22:44   a hobo which is what i was shooting for [TS]

00:22:46   who she was like no it's time to retire [TS]

00:22:48   this garment learning hobo [TS]

00:22:50   oh yeah right i look like a man who had [TS]

00:22:53   once held high station in life [TS]

00:22:55   good who was only 16 but had already [TS]

00:22:58   fallen and then complaint has been [TS]

00:22:59   lodged and he was he was leaving he had [TS]

00:23:03   moved from Oklahoma to the Central [TS]

00:23:04   Valley of California and he was just [TS]

00:23:05   looking for work he saw an ad that [TS]

00:23:09   they're great farms [TS]

00:23:10   yeah i saw a guy came through our town [TS]

00:23:13   on the back of a flatbed truck and he [TS]

00:23:15   said not work [TS]

00:23:17   come to California land of prosperity so [TS]

00:23:20   my mom said i'm not selling your clothes [TS]

00:23:22   anymore you're closer look ridiculous [TS]

00:23:23   you look ridiculous you should get rid [TS]

00:23:25   of them have plenty of I mean you put [TS]

00:23:27   you have new clothes you have all these [TS]

00:23:29   other clothes and I said I I was [TS]

00:23:32   offended by this that she wouldn't patch [TS]

00:23:35   my coats and she said you know what [TS]

00:23:38   smart guy [TS]

00:23:39   learn to sew and she she SAT me down in [TS]

00:23:43   front of her sewing machine and she [TS]

00:23:44   taught me out worked and for a loft so [TS]

00:23:46   of course i went to the fabric store [TS]

00:23:47   immediately and i bought reams and reams [TS]

00:23:53   of fake fur [TS]

00:23:55   yeah I pink leopards by stripe club [TS]

00:24:01   taffeta and uh huh like yellow quarter [TS]

00:24:06   in part because your heart I mean it's [TS]

00:24:08   hard enough to just take a little piece [TS]

00:24:09   of like cotton fabric off a bolt and get [TS]

00:24:12   it to run it on a straight-line you your [TS]

00:24:13   to party with some very challenging text [TS]

00:24:16   I really was and and my idea was they [TS]

00:24:19   don't like a retarded know what i want [TS]

00:24:22   what i ended up looking like was a [TS]

00:24:24   freaking juggalo but it was where they [TS]

00:24:26   even prevented i would take the seams [TS]

00:24:29   out of the sides of my jeans and I would [TS]

00:24:31   insert like two inches of fake fur on [TS]

00:24:33   either side and he's like [TS]

00:24:35   developmentally disabled it looks so [TS]

00:24:39   that's alleged for the night [TS]

00:24:42   take a bow oh my god and did you and and [TS]

00:24:47   we were sober when you would so [TS]

00:24:49   oh yeah i mean i was still a teenager I [TS]

00:24:51   drunk get drunk sewing had really taken [TS]

00:24:55   off that's big in brooklyn now you know [TS]

00:24:56   a drunk so throwing yeah but no I [TS]

00:25:00   created all these what I thought were [TS]

00:25:01   like outrageously cool outfits that were [TS]

00:25:06   just stupid it was just a it was just a [TS]

00:25:08   just cut me off the streets like it was [TS]

00:25:11   looking like a jacket you put on her was [TS]

00:25:13   like really limited two tunics let's [TS]

00:25:15   start with a tunic I couldn't I couldn't [TS]

00:25:17   fabricate an entire garment from scratch [TS]

00:25:21   but i would take old garments and modify [TS]

00:25:23   them to be a to be fancy fancy [TS]

00:25:28   well I see [TS]

00:25:29   it's more than completing a craft [TS]

00:25:31   project i would fancy why would i would [TS]

00:25:33   your final butterick patterns or [TS]

00:25:35   anything no no I would go to the thrift [TS]

00:25:37   stores and i would buy stuff and then I [TS]

00:25:39   would have had fake fur or leopards have [TS]

00:25:42   purple or pink tiger stripes or you know [TS]

00:25:47   like for a while there I was really into [TS]

00:25:49   the whole gram parsons like fringe [TS]

00:25:51   jacket [TS]

00:25:52   yes yes but I didn't want to fringe [TS]

00:25:54   leather jacket what I wanted was a suit [TS]

00:25:56   but they had fringe gonna not like it's [TS]

00:26:00   not like a cowboy suit not like a nude [TS]

00:26:01   can get a ride with Dolce where a [TS]

00:26:03   district attorney [TS]

00:26:04   yeah like a proper three-button Brothers [TS]

00:26:07   suit except with with friends like on [TS]

00:26:09   the arms on the arms on the pants and oh [TS]

00:26:11   yeah everywhere you could put [TS]

00:26:13   unfortunately it's the sketches of that [TS]

00:26:17   I don't there there are some pictures [TS]

00:26:19   floating around i think my junior prom [TS]

00:26:21   tuxedo had had pink tiger stripe lapel [TS]

00:26:26   come on [TS]

00:26:28   yeah well I'm is your converse i know i [TS]

00:26:32   had i had a nice clown she's like Oxford [TS]

00:26:37   know I had a bad wing tips i'm not i'm [TS]

00:26:41   not a technical well I don't want to [TS]

00:26:45   speak for her but I have a friend who i [TS]

00:26:47   believe listens to the program who his [TS]

00:26:49   name is Bridget and she is I don't have [TS]

00:26:52   you seen she does amazing like-like-like [TS]

00:26:54   needlework and all kinds of different [TS]

00:26:56   craft stuff I'm just saying as someone [TS]

00:26:58   who listens to the show i'm saying you [TS]

00:26:59   might be able to cross your palm and [TS]

00:27:01   walk away with some pretty fucking [TS]

00:27:03   amazing [TS]

00:27:04   I'm saying like some bespoke fucked-up [TS]

00:27:06   outfits I don't know lots of people have [TS]

00:27:08   lots of friends who so and i'm just [TS]

00:27:09   saying John if you want to crowdsource [TS]

00:27:10   this you might be able to get some [TS]

00:27:12   extremely disturbing clothes that [TS]

00:27:13   actually fit you well I have always said [TS]

00:27:15   if I if I came into a truly like awesome [TS]

00:27:21   amount of money the supertrain works out [TS]

00:27:23   the way you have super frameworks out [TS]

00:27:25   and I have the and i have cash to burn [TS]

00:27:27   the first thing I would do is have my [TS]

00:27:29   clothes tailored before I did anything [TS]

00:27:32   else before i bought a fancy car before [TS]

00:27:34   I want our trip i would go somewhere and [TS]

00:27:37   I would have my measurements taken out [TS]

00:27:39   of people start making me close [TS]

00:27:40   because close real close that come from [TS]

00:27:43   from the rack just do not you shouldn't [TS]

00:27:48   call this real close [TS]

00:27:49   they're not even close different Buzz [TS]

00:27:51   did this buzz in London and went to like [TS]

00:27:55   I mean they said the old seville road or [TS]

00:27:58   whatever Savile Row sorry [TS]

00:28:00   god I cut every aspect of that wrong he [TS]

00:28:03   went to Tom Sawyer island [TS]

00:28:04   hey so so much for me trying to sound [TS]

00:28:07   smart anyway he went to the Cuddy up [TS]

00:28:09   close the district yeah right and he [TS]

00:28:12   went in there and Buzz I don't think [TS]

00:28:13   would mind me saying is what like myself [TS]

00:28:15   is is a is a 80 not tall man and so like [TS]

00:28:19   in my case like for example I mean just [TS]

00:28:21   in terms of you know being simpatico [TS]

00:28:23   here like i don't know i right now I'm [TS]

00:28:25   like a 34-32 in jeans which is like [TS]

00:28:28   sometimes we really hard to find I feel [TS]

00:28:30   like I must have a very odd body shake [TS]

00:28:31   so even when I find clothes they still [TS]

00:28:34   fit weird and that's hard for buzz I'm [TS]

00:28:36   not the friend i have another french [TS]

00:28:37   actually used to be a reporter at NPR [TS]

00:28:39   who's like under five feet tall and like [TS]

00:28:42   the only clothes you can find like [TS]

00:28:43   children's clothes it's ridiculous so in [TS]

00:28:45   this case buzz when I like the sound of [TS]

00:28:47   that [TS]

00:28:47   yeah yeah she did worked on science [TS]

00:28:51   friday she so investors case so he's in [TS]

00:28:53   London he goes to civilian road today [TS]

00:28:55   we're really similar Rodeo Drive and he [TS]

00:28:58   and he went in there and he got what is [TS]

00:29:00   called a bespoke suit he fucking went in [TS]

00:29:03   there and like a guy you don't need him [TS]

00:29:07   a suit and it was in peccable like [TS]

00:29:10   charlie watts does he do that Charlie [TS]

00:29:13   Watts wears these amazing suits the [TS]

00:29:15   island on the Seelie siviglia siviglia [TS]

00:29:19   Rodeo Drive I think he dislikes the [TS]

00:29:22   rolling stones as much as me and wicked [TS]

00:29:23   dogs and I may not know much about jazz [TS]

00:29:25   and swing but you know thank you [TS]

00:29:28   sweetheart he can swing [TS]

00:29:30   yeah the door is closed on jazz but he [TS]

00:29:32   does hate the rolling stones you saying [TS]

00:29:34   it doesn't like kids anymore [TS]

00:29:35   no I think he likes jazz I'm saying the [TS]

00:29:36   door is closed on jazz niche as old yes [TS]

00:29:40   jazz jazz like jazz has become like [TS]

00:29:43   rockabilly if you are if you're making [TS]

00:29:46   rockbell I don't think I don't think [TS]

00:29:48   Charlie was sitting around in a suit [TS]

00:29:50   listening to fucking rocket [TS]

00:29:52   sitting around listening to pat metheny [TS]

00:29:54   he made it if you if you make rockabilly [TS]

00:29:57   you're not going to make a rockabilly [TS]

00:29:58   song school bus routes to rockabilly by [TS]

00:30:01   charlie watts so quickly [TS]

00:30:02   am i right am i right you're not gonna [TS]

00:30:04   make a rockabilly song about dragons [TS]

00:30:05   right the door is closed on rockabilly [TS]

00:30:08   if you're going to make visual you're [TS]

00:30:09   saying it's turning its ok that's like [TS]

00:30:11   it's like a dnd Turing test if you can't [TS]

00:30:14   write something about dragons the genre [TS]

00:30:15   is dead [TS]

00:30:16   no no not dead i'm saying it's called or [TS]

00:30:18   clearance for instance heavy metal but i [TS]

00:30:20   was also closed because you have to [TS]

00:30:22   write songs about dragons I'm think so [TS]

00:30:26   lots that that's better no new vistas [TS]

00:30:29   there are no new vistas dragons become [TS]

00:30:31   the metric you go back well can you [TS]

00:30:34   write a song about dragons and [TS]

00:30:35   rockabilly know you have challenging [TS]

00:30:38   where your challenge me literally right [TS]

00:30:40   now to ride a rocket play song about [TS]

00:30:41   dragons have a lot of literally do it [TS]

00:30:45   right now this is my internet challenge [TS]

00:30:46   don't know right right this sec sure go [TS]

00:30:49   ahead click on my internet challenges [TS]

00:30:51   rockabilly song about dragons go [TS]

00:30:53   it can't be done are you sure i am [TS]

00:30:57   pretty sure [TS]

00:30:59   rockabilly well you got that it had [TS]

00:31:04   faced its death but now you're going to [TS]

00:31:06   feel that dragon's breath that's pretty [TS]

00:31:10   close right [TS]

00:31:11   that's pretty it's pretty hot actually [TS]

00:31:15   well well Eddie Cochran does not know [TS]

00:31:19   the credit he deserves IDK fucking Eddie [TS]

00:31:20   Cochran you know what that is the United [TS]

00:31:22   cockring just wrote that is a parody [TS]

00:31:24   song that is that well oh haha i would [TS]

00:31:26   not be accepted in the rockabilly camera [TS]

00:31:28   all right okay amber deco moving on he [TS]

00:31:33   they measured every fucking part of his [TS]

00:31:35   body cock and balls arms and eyes every [TS]

00:31:38   part of buzz got measured by an English [TS]

00:31:40   man it took awhile [TS]

00:31:42   ok that's enough fedex this is not fedex [TS]

00:31:44   this is fucking English people like [TS]

00:31:46   Charlie Watts who is not listen to music [TS]

00:31:48   about dragons to our knowledge and i'm [TS]

00:31:52   going to get a nice you should do it [TS]

00:31:54   it's expensive it's let me say that [TS]

00:31:55   cause you know you know as you know John [TS]

00:31:58   I like to distinguish I'm going to say [TS]

00:32:01   this for the record cuz i think people [TS]

00:32:02   wonder when I speak to my kids i [TS]

00:32:05   distinguish between [TS]

00:32:06   costly and expensive oh yeah oh yeah i'm [TS]

00:32:10   a word guy and i distinguish between [TS]

00:32:12   between cheap and inexpensive haha i [TS]

00:32:16   think the suit that you buy at marshalls [TS]

00:32:18   blankets and pillows notwithstanding I [TS]

00:32:20   think the suit you buy at marshalls is [TS]

00:32:22   inexpensive and cheap right right i [TS]

00:32:26   think there's a chance to suit you buy [TS]

00:32:29   on Savile Row d 0 z you it could be very [TS]

00:32:32   experienced it's certainly going to be [TS]

00:32:34   costly but doesn't have to be expensive [TS]

00:32:36   and can tell you why because unless you [TS]

00:32:38   get a large large large amount of weight [TS]

00:32:40   that's gonna last you it's like the suit [TS]

00:32:42   does like the like the like the public [TS]

00:32:44   invasion suit you got right that you [TS]

00:32:47   guys have opposed to present a lot of [TS]

00:32:50   music is pretty amazing you know that [TS]

00:32:52   i'm not a publisher addiction sure I [TS]

00:32:54   look at the Polish envision that spark [TS]

00:32:57   that whole that whole polish sound [TS]

00:32:59   remember that you accept me I did invade [TS]

00:33:01   me do is amazing and so it was a company [TS]

00:33:05   in Oregon that makes that makes [TS]

00:33:08   lumberjack boots for Lumberjacks ok and [TS]

00:33:13   you can find them online by googling the [TS]

00:33:16   big black boot company that's not the [TS]

00:33:19   name of the company though it's called [TS]

00:33:20   them what the hell is called we need to [TS]

00:33:24   get your name [TS]

00:33:26   no no it's it's a it's a proper company [TS]

00:33:28   and they have a proper name but they [TS]

00:33:30   make these boots these lumberjack boots [TS]

00:33:31   for Lumberjacks and these are guys who [TS]

00:33:34   like you know their boot and the [TS]

00:33:37   chainsaw that's basically their whole [TS]

00:33:40   kit right i mean ii you wear you wear [TS]

00:33:43   denim jacket but it's your boots and [TS]

00:33:45   your chainsaw that that that really [TS]

00:33:47   that's all you need to spend money on [TS]

00:33:49   ah is it is it is it it's Westco it's [TS]

00:33:52   called Westco yeah I just on boot [TS]

00:33:55   dot-com well yeah that Westco existed [TS]

00:33:59   before boots.com ok if you go big black [TS]

00:34:01   boots and then look for wesco w.e sco [TS]

00:34:04   anyway so they make these lumberjack [TS]

00:34:06   boots and the lumberjack boots are mm [TS]

00:34:11   more than five hundred dollars right but [TS]

00:34:14   i really really want a pair he's looking [TS]

00:34:18   now [TS]

00:34:19   stick out really nice sign machines too [TS]

00:34:21   and they make them to your foot you you [TS]

00:34:23   go down and you you show me your foot [TS]

00:34:25   and they make the boot to you and so I [TS]

00:34:29   so I've done on like an unscientific [TS]

00:34:31   poll of everybody i know for the last [TS]

00:34:33   couple of years because this is a large [TS]

00:34:35   investment it to buy these boots and [TS]

00:34:37   I've got everybody said what's the most [TS]

00:34:38   you've ever paid for shoes and my female [TS]

00:34:42   respondents have have said you know [TS]

00:34:45   anywhere between 200 and sometimes four [TS]

00:34:50   or five hundred dollars her but I have [TS]

00:34:52   never met a guy who's paid more than [TS]

00:34:54   about a hundred and fifty dollars for [TS]

00:34:55   his shoes just for the most extensive [TS]

00:34:57   straight who's straight right that's [TS]

00:35:00   true i have not asked that many fancy [TS]

00:35:02   men how much they paid for their shoes [TS]

00:35:05   IC expensive men shoes online but i [TS]

00:35:09   don't i don't live in that world so much [TS]

00:35:11   for the twelve hundred dollars shoes i [TS]

00:35:14   know there are some men in Texas you pay [TS]

00:35:16   twenty-five hundred dollars for their [TS]

00:35:18   cowboy boots but anyway I have been [TS]

00:35:21   teetering on the fence of buying these [TS]

00:35:23   Westco boots for like five years but i [TS]

00:35:27   have and i haven't been able to pull the [TS]

00:35:28   trigger because it's just I know that [TS]

00:35:30   what you're talking about [TS]

00:35:31   they are they are they are expensive but [TS]

00:35:36   was the other word also costly they're [TS]

00:35:38   costly but they are also value-added i'm [TS]

00:35:43   not sure why is assuming again and I i [TS]

00:35:46   just think this is something this is a [TS]

00:35:48   big asterisk air [TS]

00:35:49   well because guess what young like [TS]

00:35:51   number two you don't want to lose them [TS]

00:35:53   because if you lose them maybe bump [TS]

00:35:54   right if you actually leave minute hotel [TS]

00:35:56   room number one what if you got forbid [TS]

00:35:58   it become heavy and start retaining [TS]

00:36:00   water because then you can get fat [TS]

00:36:02   yeah yeah but no but I think that'd be [TS]

00:36:04   great and that's what yeah what yeah the [TS]

00:36:06   last time you left a pair of boots in a [TS]

00:36:08   hotel room [TS]

00:36:09   uh what time is it I've been to like run [TS]

00:36:13   go running out of hotels in your socks a [TS]

00:36:15   lot like all what did I forget this is I [TS]

00:36:17   don't really know this is how i can tell [TS]

00:36:18   you don't really have a child because I [TS]

00:36:20   i forget everything everywhere now [TS]

00:36:23   because I'm trying to gather up there's [TS]

00:36:26   a difference I'm not a mathematician as [TS]

00:36:28   you know John but I think there's a mess [TS]

00:36:30   to clean up ratio of two to one at least [TS]

00:36:33   when you have a child by the time you [TS]

00:36:35   cleaned up one mess to more than [TS]

00:36:36   creating that works in restaurants that [TS]

00:36:38   works at hotels that works anywhere [TS]

00:36:39   you're always behind behind her and so [TS]

00:36:42   I'm like I'm scurrying to make sure i [TS]

00:36:43   got my wallet like let alone you know a [TS]

00:36:46   stuffy toy and some lumber jack boots so [TS]

00:36:48   that no that's just my thinking is I [TS]

00:36:49   would think about that but now I you [TS]

00:36:51   you're mindful you answered your own [TS]

00:36:52   question [TS]

00:36:53   you're not a man who leaves lumberjack [TS]

00:36:54   boots and hotel room so I don't think [TS]

00:36:55   it's a concern [TS]

00:36:56   well the thing is if I wear a pair of [TS]

00:36:58   lumberjack boots into a hotel room I'm [TS]

00:37:00   gonna be wearing them out of that hotel [TS]

00:37:02   room you know I keep them on the whole [TS]

00:37:03   time and not lay on the bed i don't i [TS]

00:37:05   don't like bring them along and and are [TS]

00:37:08   you somebody who unpacked his suitcase [TS]

00:37:09   and put all the stuff in the drawer how [TS]

00:37:11   many days in a hotel room [TS]

00:37:13   how many days four days that you're [TS]

00:37:16   gonna unpack otherwise I'm gonna be like [TS]

00:37:17   an animal living out of a suitcase [TS]

00:37:18   that's not right for four days for what [TS]

00:37:21   it John it's not complicated and not [TS]

00:37:23   you're implying that I carry a lot of [TS]

00:37:25   clothes which I do but what i do is i [TS]

00:37:28   will use the top drawer the bottom [TS]

00:37:29   drawer is for all the marketing [TS]

00:37:30   materials everything in the room that [TS]

00:37:32   has a logo on it goes in the bottom [TS]

00:37:33   drawer and then the top drawer is for [TS]

00:37:35   under pants and socks so when you roll [TS]

00:37:37   into a hotel room you really like you i [TS]

00:37:40   spread out [TS]

00:37:41   yes I come on everything and i unwrap [TS]

00:37:43   the soap and I really get in there get [TS]

00:37:45   very comfortable roll around on all the [TS]

00:37:46   towels [TS]

00:37:47   see I sometimes i find it I find that I [TS]

00:37:52   am staying in very expensive hotels [TS]

00:37:54   because very are various times people [TS]

00:37:58   fly me places to do things [TS]

00:38:00   whoo & and they think that I am a fancy [TS]

00:38:02   person right and so they're like oh we [TS]

00:38:04   can give me half a 10 you'd be fine [TS]

00:38:06   yeah they're like oh shit we better put [TS]

00:38:08   him up in this really fancy hotel so I i [TS]

00:38:10   go into this hotel and everybody else in [TS]

00:38:12   the hotel is clearly conscious of [TS]

00:38:15   themselves as being fancy people and [TS]

00:38:17   they don't like me even being in the [TS]

00:38:19   lobby like they can see me walk in and [TS]

00:38:20   then like hmm i see he's got a he he's [TS]

00:38:24   acting like he belongs here and that [TS]

00:38:28   makes it even worse [TS]

00:38:29   who but I go upstairs and i'm staying in [TS]

00:38:31   this fancy hotel and I'm living out of [TS]

00:38:33   my suitcase [TS]

00:38:34   I don't impact just digging my little [TS]

00:38:37   bag to get my shirt that I'm gonna wear [TS]

00:38:40   that day which is all wrinkly [TS]

00:38:42   and-and-and everyone's while I look [TS]

00:38:44   around and I go he shot maybe I should [TS]

00:38:48   have unpacked I can already tell what [TS]

00:38:50   you don't you don't even know I let your [TS]

00:38:52   maybe you're not saying it will cut this [TS]

00:38:54   out of this is too much but here's the [TS]

00:38:55   thing i'm just going to say I Scott [TS]

00:38:57   receiving a man who's very suspicious of [TS]

00:38:59   drawers for any number of reasons I [TS]

00:39:01   think one of the things you need to be [TS]

00:39:02   ready to run [TS]

00:39:03   you don't know what's gonna talk about [TS]

00:39:04   fucking fires unless talking I'm talking [TS]

00:39:07   about like when shit goes down you do [TS]

00:39:09   not want to have to be opening let's be [TS]

00:39:11   honest probably a pretty filthy drawer [TS]

00:39:12   to gather your clothes and put them in a [TS]

00:39:14   bag you get your shoes on right now [TS]

00:39:16   you've already put your shoes i could [TS]

00:39:18   see what i can see you sleeping issues i [TS]

00:39:20   can see walking in look at the back of [TS]

00:39:21   the door for where the map is for how to [TS]

00:39:23   get out and going and making sure that [TS]

00:39:25   it's accurate correct and up-to-date all [TS]

00:39:26   the doors open out yes I could see you [TS]

00:39:29   having is literally a suitcase by the [TS]

00:39:30   door ready to run or maybe you know what [TS]

00:39:33   maybe by the balcony case you have to [TS]

00:39:34   jump five stories so you don't want your [TS]

00:39:36   doors opening out that's the lot behind [TS]

00:39:38   you ever heard of the concert who [TS]

00:39:40   concert you gotta doors that open out [TS]

00:39:42   now [TS]

00:39:42   well okay you're you're now you know [TS]

00:39:44   what you're right click it changes on [TS]

00:39:45   the outside right now is the doors have [TS]

00:39:48   to open it because if they open out you [TS]

00:39:50   can block it from the outside you know [TS]

00:39:52   what I take it all back you write it in [TS]

00:39:53   public places doors have to open a hotel [TS]

00:39:55   room for obvious reasons you don't the [TS]

00:39:56   hinges on the outside of your thinking [TS]

00:39:58   well neither the hinges on the outside [TS]

00:40:00   North you wanted to open out what you [TS]

00:40:03   learned in Alaska because when it snows [TS]

00:40:05   six feet in the middle of the night if [TS]

00:40:08   your door open doubt you'd be really in [TS]

00:40:10   trouble if it opens in you can open it [TS]

00:40:12   in and then you dig a tunnel so gumshoe [TS]

00:40:14   could stick a chair under the doorknob [TS]

00:40:15   exactly and then you'd be shocked yeah [TS]

00:40:18   yeah you're fucking damsel in distress [TS]

00:40:19   and five-hundred-dollar boots that's not [TS]

00:40:20   your help you're held the prison in your [TS]

00:40:22   room by gumshoe usually what I do if I [TS]

00:40:25   need to get out of a hotel room fast i [TS]

00:40:27   throw the bag out the window and then I [TS]

00:40:28   take the stairs [TS]

00:40:30   oh yeah and then the bag is like I i got [TS]

00:40:33   the exit door bags right there LOL wut [TS]

00:40:35   in the ensuing mayhem is all this at all [TS]

00:40:38   those people who the runaround the [TS]

00:40:39   frontier where with nothing just a bit [TS]

00:40:41   confusing carrying hotel nightshirts in [TS]

00:40:44   there not dressing they're gonna do is [TS]

00:40:45   grab the musicians back you know exactly [TS]

00:40:47   where to go you working on your mind I [TS]

00:40:49   can see practicing the night before [TS]

00:40:51   well you're always practicing every time [TS]

00:40:53   you go in and out of the room you're [TS]

00:40:54   looking you know is used to could do [TS]

00:40:56   stick a matchstick in your hotel door to [TS]

00:40:58   see if anybody's been there done it [TS]

00:40:59   I don't know why you wouldn't you know [TS]

00:41:01   what I i got even bigger system that I [TS]

00:41:03   gotta dance system i wouldn't it's just [TS]

00:41:06   like a good system going to the system [TS]

00:41:09   to another system [TS]

00:41:10   yeah listen all the old trick what's the [TS]

00:41:12   trick is tricking a minute Rick you can [TS]

00:41:14   take a little piece of a you know [TS]

00:41:15   whatever the old days would be a [TS]

00:41:17   matchbook could be a let's say an index [TS]

00:41:18   card right [TS]

00:41:20   look whatever you have in hand mhm dad [TS]

00:41:22   and you know you stick that in the door [TS]

00:41:24   as you're walking out [TS]

00:41:25   yeah right but you can also you can do [TS]

00:41:27   variations on that right [TS]

00:41:29   equally visible from outside no but [TS]

00:41:32   here's the thing that you read it i [TS]

00:41:33   should not reveal this [TS]

00:41:34   okay here's the thing how much you do [TS]

00:41:35   this how about instead of actually [TS]

00:41:38   putting it in the door you put it on the [TS]

00:41:40   floor and then you know what happens a [TS]

00:41:44   lot huh [TS]

00:41:46   the guy thinks it was in the door and [TS]

00:41:48   moves it and press to put it back [TS]

00:41:50   oh I'm saying and then when it's fallen [TS]

00:41:53   when you walk in you see that it's in a [TS]

00:41:56   different more plausible place and you [TS]

00:41:58   can see something in your room [TS]

00:41:59   wow I shouldn't say anything that's that [TS]

00:42:04   super spy now I'm not going to know what [TS]

00:42:06   to do when i met your house i'm going to [TS]

00:42:08   be like that is that just a piece of [TS]

00:42:10   lint remover ask that guy why is Robert [TS]

00:42:12   like the other guy what gasps that's the [TS]

00:42:15   guy why he Rob's banks he says that's [TS]

00:42:17   where the money is you want to do good [TS]

00:42:18   in sales [TS]

00:42:19   excuse me well in sales you don't think [TS]

00:42:22   like a Salesman you think like somebody [TS]

00:42:23   who buys your shit and in this case [TS]

00:42:25   people think too much like somebody [TS]

00:42:27   scared in a hotel room and not like the [TS]

00:42:29   kind of person who wants to get in a [TS]

00:42:31   fucking hotel room rack so this is we [TS]

00:42:34   take internet again I'm saying too much [TS]

00:42:36   I know you know all of this you probably [TS]

00:42:37   written books about this that you won't [TS]

00:42:39   release but I'm just telling you there [TS]

00:42:40   are things that you can do the things [TS]

00:42:42   you can do you know night well don't say [TS]

00:42:43   what i dunno i do lots of things like [TS]

00:42:45   this I'll do things like other things [TS]

00:42:46   like Leave leave a hundred dollars just [TS]

00:42:49   inside of a door so if somebody comes in [TS]

00:42:51   your crackhead what do you break in what [TS]

00:42:53   you do you have made me get 20 doesn't [TS]

00:42:55   matter you put Bill's just out of sight [TS]

00:42:57   of the door where you can look and see [TS]

00:42:59   it they come into Robbie what they see [TS]

00:43:00   they see the bill you know they do what [TS]

00:43:03   I grab it and run [TS]

00:43:05   you're a crackhead you just got twenty [TS]

00:43:07   bucks you're going to run [TS]

00:43:09   right prisoners with Allah speaking [TS]

00:43:11   speaking and not as a former crackhead [TS]

00:43:13   but as someone who associated with [TS]

00:43:14   American pretty close [TS]

00:43:16   you know a lot of um are going to see [TS]

00:43:18   that they're going to say with if [TS]

00:43:20   there's 120 if you got that much [TS]

00:43:22   ambition you got no business being a [TS]

00:43:23   crack at it here's what you do you put [TS]

00:43:25   120 there and put another 20 a little [TS]

00:43:28   brother away is 3rd 20 is armed with her [TS]

00:43:32   twenties in a Rattrap it's attached to a [TS]

00:43:34   dynamite cap and you blow the fucking [TS]

00:43:36   crackheads handoff [TS]

00:43:38   I like that smoky eye like that is glass [TS]

00:43:40   everywhere because you know they like [TS]

00:43:41   their glass they smoke in order or for [TS]

00:43:43   that matter there are other coconut and [TS]

00:43:44   pecans and coconut but they are little [TS]

00:43:47   get-together affordable i can't i'm in [TS]

00:43:50   coconut products portable wanted two [TS]

00:43:51   full-sized ones guys strapped to his [TS]

00:43:53   back at full tapped it said it says [TS]

00:43:56   Nazareth honor haha now your medicine [TS]

00:44:02   booze is availa is a large horn and if [TS]

00:44:06   you've been no carnival you'll know what [TS]

00:44:08   this is it a piece of shitty plastic [TS]

00:44:10   that's like really long right it's a [TS]

00:44:12   long horny thing and then there's with [TS]

00:44:14   the other called a bell is that right [TS]

00:44:16   you call the flared at the out bell and [TS]

00:44:18   so if you're a little kid in your [TS]

00:44:19   dumbass you try and win that milk bottle [TS]

00:44:21   game you can't win whatever you get the [TS]

00:44:23   thing and then you put it up your mouth [TS]

00:44:25   you like em [TS]

00:44:28   exactly the sound yes that was [TS]

00:44:30   accomplished using a paper towel roll [TS]

00:44:31   um so what are you doing what are you [TS]

00:44:33   doing when you do that I know you're [TS]

00:44:34   ahead of me on this but this is the [TS]

00:44:36   problem with these South American people [TS]

00:44:37   you do you hear what I just did [TS]

00:44:39   yeah i'm making a noise with my mouth [TS]

00:44:43   that is causing my lips to vibrate [TS]

00:44:44   inside of the tube and make a sound but [TS]

00:44:46   can you guess what's coming out of my [TS]

00:44:48   fucking lips spin up tons and tons of [TS]

00:44:51   spit you get spun you spot them you get [TS]

00:44:55   literally thousands [TS]

00:44:59   alright the particles of bacteria [TS]

00:45:01   located thousands of South Americans was [TS]

00:45:04   ailing at the same time you could not [TS]

00:45:06   create you know what fucking Hitler [TS]

00:45:07   could not come up with a better way to [TS]

00:45:09   spread disease quicker it's like a split [TS]

00:45:11   found it's like it's like a crowdsource [TS]

00:45:13   it's like it's like a hundred thousand [TS]

00:45:15   spit fountains all pointed at each other [TS]

00:45:17   and understand like you take it all [TS]

00:45:19   together and it's a tremendous [TS]

00:45:21   installation you have a whole stadium [TS]

00:45:23   that's that's making this mist spit [TS]

00:45:27   missed its integrated salivary a goulash [TS]

00:45:30   it's everywhere it's fantastic maybe [TS]

00:45:32   that's what sports is really about maybe [TS]

00:45:34   it's just some kind of like aeration [TS]

00:45:37   spinners sounds like a test but then [TS]

00:45:39   what do you do you blow your vuvuzela [TS]

00:45:40   your little outta your whatever you know [TS]

00:45:42   a South American people drink for beer [TS]

00:45:44   you inhale but then your losses and and [TS]

00:45:49   then you want your breathing all the [TS]

00:45:51   other people whose alien think that's it [TS]

00:45:54   that's it and they won't put the index [TS]

00:45:57   card somewhere they didn't expect here's [TS]

00:45:59   the thing about here's the thing about [TS]

00:46:01   this soccer-playing countries countries [TS]

00:46:05   that like to play soccer including all [TS]

00:46:08   of europe and south america and asia and [TS]

00:46:12   basically everywhere Romania they play [TS]

00:46:14   it their all they love it there [TS]

00:46:16   the Balkans they play soccer while they [TS]

00:46:17   play the shit out of soccer there and [TS]

00:46:19   here's the thing that goes hand-in-hand [TS]

00:46:20   with soccer and that is fares Oh am I [TS]

00:46:27   right all my traveling fair you just [TS]

00:46:30   blew my mind and these are fair simple [TS]

00:46:33   people love fares fares you never see [TS]

00:46:37   Stephen Hawking a fair to take a lot of [TS]

00:46:39   mud in this is you're saying you could [TS]

00:46:41   go and get a vuvuzela or an asrock [TS]

00:46:43   mirror all of these places just a [TS]

00:46:44   question of what you bring to the game [TS]

00:46:45   you get dreamcatchers you get magic [TS]

00:46:48   tricks made out of match boxes and [TS]

00:46:50   feathered roach clip get feathered road [TS]

00:46:52   could be drugs did I say dreamcatchers [TS]

00:46:54   already you can get dreamcatchers [TS]

00:46:56   dreamcatchers you can you catch don't [TS]

00:46:59   work is that right have you ever tried [TS]

00:47:01   one [TS]

00:47:01   well I think it's a you know it's a [TS]

00:47:03   self-fulfilling prophecy if you get a [TS]

00:47:04   dreamcatcher things already aren't [TS]

00:47:05   working out but wait a minute if it's [TS]

00:47:07   self fulfilling it was a self-fulfilling [TS]

00:47:09   prophecy that doesn't it doesn't work [TS]

00:47:10   well if you think it's anybody's collar [TS]

00:47:13   ship on this it's technically considered [TS]

00:47:14   the native american version of a lottery [TS]

00:47:15   you you get you get in capturing your [TS]

00:47:18   weight is watching a tennis racket from [TS]

00:47:21   your mirror you get a dreamcatcher you [TS]

00:47:22   wait and maybe it catches a dream I [TS]

00:47:24   don't know what are the odds to pay out [TS]

00:47:26   this tuesday i'm just saying you know I [TS]

00:47:29   have a baby rattle that's made out of a [TS]

00:47:30   Gila monster spleen of course you do [TS]

00:47:34   the ps3 is it I do she uses it all the [TS]

00:47:37   time but i keep I keep like worrying [TS]

00:47:40   that maybe she's going to get the right [TS]

00:47:42   combination of rattles and and and like [TS]

00:47:45   gibberish and she's gonna conjure a [TS]

00:47:47   great spirit of some kind [TS]

00:47:49   oh you should have that thing two [TS]

00:47:50   matches sized I said turn how would you [TS]

00:47:52   call if you want to remove the magic [TS]

00:47:53   from something what would you call it [TS]

00:47:54   marriage [TS]

00:47:55   how do you do that how do you get that [TS]

00:47:56   how to get the magic out of something i [TS]

00:47:59   have you verified it verified that it's [TS]

00:48:03   a spleen [TS]

00:48:04   I'm pretty sure well maybe it's a maybe [TS]

00:48:07   it's lauren it's definitely some kind of [TS]

00:48:08   organ from usually monster organ or [TS]

00:48:10   bladder or spleen did you get that a [TS]

00:48:12   roadside attraction or is that something [TS]

00:48:14   you get from like a sign like a [TS]

00:48:16   scientific american kind of place like [TS]

00:48:18   where do you find a Gila monster [TS]

00:48:20   well you have to go on a Vision Quest [TS]

00:48:21   you have to go on a spirit journey walk [TS]

00:48:23   with the wolves [TS]

00:48:24   yeah and then when you're there it's [TS]

00:48:27   it's part of that they awarded to you [TS]

00:48:29   when you you know when you become a [TS]

00:48:31   brave i like when they give you that [TS]

00:48:32   aluminum foil blanket after a marathon [TS]

00:48:34   no runs have a sense of what's causing [TS]

00:48:37   the rattling to happen is it something [TS]

00:48:38   we should be able to take that apart [TS]

00:48:39   with a manual know because it's stitched [TS]

00:48:41   together with Gila monster a leather [TS]

00:48:44   strap is that what you does that worry [TS]

00:48:47   you at all that might be eyeballs it [TS]

00:48:48   might be you know maybe POA buttons for [TS]

00:48:51   that matter i don't know maybe I should [TS]

00:48:53   open up in case of emergency right what [TS]

00:48:55   should she uh my little of my little [TS]

00:48:58   girl seems to seems to you know she's [TS]

00:49:02   not my mom told me the other day she was [TS]

00:49:03   like you know when you were a little kid [TS]

00:49:05   you saw things and I'm like what do you [TS]

00:49:08   mean she said you were always coming in [TS]

00:49:10   my room and told me there was somebody [TS]

00:49:12   in your room big there was a man here [TS]

00:49:16   like Alexander Hamilton ER and I was [TS]

00:49:18   like like Alexander Hamilton that's [TS]

00:49:21   exactly the question I asked and she was [TS]

00:49:22   like no nobody were always scared and [TS]

00:49:26   you would come into my room late at [TS]

00:49:27   night and say that there was that he saw [TS]

00:49:29   somebody in the house or the review you [TS]

00:49:32   saw somebody in the yard or you know [TS]

00:49:34   you're seeing people all the time it's [TS]

00:49:36   like interesting that you never told me [TS]

00:49:38   this before but I i have not yet noticed [TS]

00:49:41   that my little girl has this power but i [TS]

00:49:44   do feel like her / working of this keelo [TS]

00:49:47   monster rattle at it it it doesn't bode [TS]

00:49:51   well I'm afraid that it one of these [TS]

00:49:53   days I'm gonna open my door and there's [TS]

00:49:55   going to be a guide and feathered [TS]

00:49:56   headdress with the loincloth standard [TS]

00:49:58   they're gone through his nose old cigars [TS]

00:50:02   you know John I gotta tell you know they [TS]

00:50:04   say this is true for a breast cancer and [TS]

00:50:06   basketball and all of those things it's [TS]

00:50:07   genetics right you you can't you can't [TS]

00:50:10   you gotta be tall and have that gene [TS]

00:50:12   right now for breast cancer but you know [TS]

00:50:13   I'm just saying this game basketball [TS]

00:50:15   player you know and I [TS]

00:50:16   I just say your mom she's very she's a [TS]

00:50:18   very sober even person she still seen [TS]

00:50:20   the show I have no idea [TS]

00:50:22   okay probably not um never fixed a bug [TS]

00:50:24   that the thing is though that's in the [TS]

00:50:26   jeans now I don't know that comes from [TS]

00:50:27   your dad's side or your moms like [TS]

00:50:28   there's something in you I don't think [TS]

00:50:29   he did you start seeing shit in your [TS]

00:50:30   room for no reason i was saying you want [TS]

00:50:33   to the scariest thing that ever happened [TS]

00:50:35   to me with my mom I was out my on the [TS]

00:50:36   yard was probably 7-8 years old you know [TS]

00:50:38   I was born on friday the 13 I didn't [TS]

00:50:40   know that bar on friday the 13th so when [TS]

00:50:42   I was a little kid I thought that gave [TS]

00:50:44   me some warlock powers and so I was out [TS]

00:50:48   playing with some kids and I was like [TS]

00:50:50   all right you know sure you guys have [TS]

00:50:53   tommy guns or whatever but I'm going to [TS]

00:50:55   cast a spell of holding on you for a [TS]

00:50:58   minute you know this before [TS]

00:50:59   Dungeons and Dragons was manifested but [TS]

00:51:01   i would I was you know is casting some [TS]

00:51:02   warlocks spells or whatever [TS]

00:51:04   my mom was walking through the yard and [TS]

00:51:07   she kind of you know caught a couple [TS]

00:51:10   years and caught a glimpse of me like [TS]

00:51:12   doing some incantation over my friends [TS]

00:51:16   because i was born on friday the 13 who [TS]

00:51:19   and she marched over grabbed me by the [TS]

00:51:22   shirt front lifted me off the ground [TS]

00:51:24   hold me very close to her face and said [TS]

00:51:26   do not mess with things you don't [TS]

00:51:28   understand your mom yeah and put me back [TS]

00:51:32   down on the ground and walked away [TS]

00:51:34   she's the most rational person I've ever [TS]

00:51:36   met and she shared and chilled me to the [TS]

00:51:39   bone [TS]

00:51:40   it's still chose me when I think about [TS]

00:51:41   it because I have spent my whole life [TS]

00:51:44   waiting for her possibly to reveal to me [TS]

00:51:50   ok we're cutting we're gonna forget all [TS]

00:51:52   of this out because given that she is [TS]

00:51:54   the most rational person that either of [TS]

00:51:56   us have ever met she had a fucking [TS]

00:51:57   reason to put you in her face and [TS]

00:52:00   georgian she knew that you were sticking [TS]

00:52:02   a fork into into Satan's light light [TS]

00:52:04   light light plug she's obviously she [TS]

00:52:06   knew something was up shit maybe it's [TS]

00:52:07   like a bee which type situation where [TS]

00:52:09   she knew you know like there's a doctor [TS]

00:52:11   dr. Bombay in the family or something [TS]

00:52:12   i've been i've been wondering my whole [TS]

00:52:14   life I keep waiting for her to initiate [TS]

00:52:15   me into the circle learning how do you [TS]

00:52:18   think in some that you started if I [TS]

00:52:20   could say if you can say have you [TS]

00:52:21   stopped having those visions I mean [TS]

00:52:22   apart from the aliens and French doors [TS]

00:52:24   have you stopped seeing men in your room [TS]

00:52:26   I mean that all my pillows turn to owls [TS]

00:52:29   fairly recently i'm writing from ross [TS]

00:52:36   the frozen heavens everybody other an [TS]

00:52:39   assortment of pillows too while you're [TS]

00:52:40   using them but they were well yeah I [TS]

00:52:42   woke up in the middle of the night and [TS]

00:52:43   I'll i looked around and all my pillows [TS]

00:52:45   were owls I'm sure I told you about this [TS]

00:52:48   yeah but that's absolutely did not ok I [TS]

00:52:51   looked around my pillows were owl like [TS]

00:52:53   the gals well pillow size that looks [TS]

00:52:56   nothing like snow out smells like pretty [TS]

00:52:58   big [TS]

00:52:59   well yeah like snowy owls that were even [TS]

00:53:01   bigger than snow hours they were the [TS]

00:53:02   size of pillows cornet Al's yes white [TS]

00:53:06   owl horn at all [TS]

00:53:08   God like the cigars at this little cheap [TS]

00:53:10   cigars in a way to close the cowl stay [TS]

00:53:13   at beaks [TS]

00:53:13   yes they were this they were my pillows [TS]

00:53:16   i have a lot of pillows i have you have [TS]

00:53:18   eight pillows in my room whenever they [TS]

00:53:20   were all vowels and they were all [TS]

00:53:22   watching me over here watching over me [TS]

00:53:25   and so I shook off the sleep until I was [TS]

00:53:29   awake i was sure i was awake I was very [TS]

00:53:32   conscious like okay wake up and I was [TS]

00:53:37   awake and they were still owls i'll come [TS]

00:53:40   out when images on their side they were [TS]

00:53:43   all arrayed in various ways some of them [TS]

00:53:47   were worse sitting up on their little [TS]

00:53:49   our butts and some more on the floor its [TS]

00:53:51   children talking chillin that they were [TS]

00:53:53   that's so i i i i i did not feel good [TS]

00:53:59   about it but they did not they weren't [TS]

00:54:01   hostile who they were just centuries and [TS]

00:54:05   so high I i resigned that this was going [TS]

00:54:09   to be fine and I grabbed the nearest owl [TS]

00:54:12   and mesle up with it and went back to [TS]

00:54:18   sleep [TS]

00:54:19   get a good day they simply say the [TS]

00:54:25   centuries there looking over you do you [TS]

00:54:27   are they didn't speak to you say no I [TS]

00:54:32   was can't talk to me [TS]

00:54:34   she had the sense that they weren't they [TS]

00:54:38   were they were there for a reason [TS]

00:54:39   yes absolutely Harbinger that many owls [TS]

00:54:43   aren't just gonna like turn up someplace [TS]

00:54:45   without a reason right now without like [TS]

00:54:47   Facebook thing and maybe sell well in [TS]

00:54:50   the dark to sleep in a very dark Randy [TS]

00:54:51   lovely lon [TS]

00:54:52   I'd start by like a dark room 2 and so [TS]

00:54:54   that those giant allies they can see you [TS]

00:54:56   just fine but you're a grub or something [TS]

00:54:58   maybe they could see you [TS]

00:54:59   oh yeah i mean they they had there was a [TS]

00:55:02   project they had a project K some kind [TS]

00:55:05   of our project i'm not sure what it was [TS]

00:55:07   it was not I wasn't privy to it i did [TS]

00:55:10   not feel that they were there to harm me [TS]

00:55:12   but I also did not they didn't give me a [TS]

00:55:14   warm fuzzy feeling either who didn't [TS]

00:55:17   they didn't do anything [TS]

00:55:19   no they just were there and they were [TS]

00:55:21   you know when I woke up they all of [TS]

00:55:22   course we're looking at me they come [TS]

00:55:25   kept looking at me until I grabbed the [TS]

00:55:26   nearest one and went back to sleep so i [TS]

00:55:30   don't i don't know what to make of that [TS]

00:55:37   oh it's it certainly seems like the kind [TS]

00:55:40   of thing that in the fullness of time [TS]

00:55:41   you would want to make something of [TS]

00:55:43   order now if it happens again I if you [TS]

00:55:46   can say there have definitely i guess [TS]

00:55:48   that's something I'm definitely gonna [TS]

00:55:50   ask some serious question with a silent [TS]

00:55:52   i mean it was more like a lot of [TS]

00:55:53   progress [TS]

00:55:54   okay why don't know that they have [TS]

00:55:55   fucking wings and talents might have [TS]

00:55:57   been a clock eat Alan noise or a right [TS]

00:55:58   and it sounds to me like they were [TS]

00:55:59   rubbing up against each other a little [TS]

00:56:01   bit with a very still there was some [TS]

00:56:03   shuffling from side to side they blink [TS]

00:56:05   know there are no i think i found i find [TS]

00:56:08   out blinking so creepy [TS]

00:56:10   yeah no I didn't get a lot of blinking [TS]

00:56:12   out of it I mean it was admittedly it [TS]

00:56:14   was a short lived whom you know it was a [TS]

00:56:18   bit was only a minute or two and you [TS]

00:56:20   know I just long enough to let you know [TS]

00:56:22   that is what you get with bellowing [TS]

00:56:24   totally okay I'm awake now i'm awake is [TS]

00:56:26   Abraham Lincoln memory when I was a kid [TS]

00:56:28   really why I is Abraham looking [TS]

00:56:30   everywhere he's our 16th president [TS]

00:56:32   yeah she talking about this at all he's [TS]

00:56:34   on the penny no no yeah I've I after [TS]

00:56:37   after that let one-time deal with the [TS]

00:56:41   Warlock time that I don't cover [TS]

00:56:43   supernatural topics with my mom right [TS]

00:56:45   because a [TS]

00:56:47   nothing like walking in and seeing your [TS]

00:56:48   dad just as Ethel Merman like it would [TS]

00:56:50   have an effect but then it's not the [TS]

00:56:51   kind of thing you'd be bringing up a lot [TS]

00:56:53   yeah yeah and maybe it's my mistake [TS]

00:56:55   maybe I've never I've never got to her [TS]

00:56:57   and said will you initiate me into our [TS]

00:56:59   family coven i think iĆ­ve been waiting [TS]

00:57:03   for you to ask [TS]

00:57:04   I this might be an hour sir alistair [TS]

00:57:06   crowley thing I I think you'll know if [TS]

00:57:08   and when it's time just as with your [TS]

00:57:10   daughter you know saying if that was [TS]

00:57:12   like if that rattle starts making things [TS]

00:57:13   happen you know what I mean you're gonna [TS]

00:57:17   know you're feeling the sense if you [TS]

00:57:19   have this in your medical Orion as much [TS]

00:57:21   as I think you might you are going to [TS]

00:57:22   know when it's time you're gonna know [TS]

00:57:25   yeah well I dated a girl once who one [TS]

00:57:29   time was trying to really she was really [TS]

00:57:31   mad and she's really trying to put me in [TS]

00:57:33   my place and she got up in my face and [TS]

00:57:35   she said you know what you think you're [TS]

00:57:38   a white wizard but you're not one you're [TS]

00:57:42   a gray wizard and you know I have to say [TS]

00:57:49   I was flattered that she thought I was a [TS]

00:57:50   great wizard but she was she was [TS]

00:57:54   obviously she was obviously I think [TS]

00:57:57   seeing something [TS]

00:57:58   uh-huh some some white wizard potential [TS]

00:58:01   in me that a that I had this is a great [TS]

00:58:05   gray as in as in with into work or gray [TS]

00:58:07   as in the chaotic neutral [TS]

00:58:09   well I think gray as in yeah like II you [TS]

00:58:14   have not yet been purified by fighting [TS]

00:58:17   balrog down to the center here haha you [TS]

00:58:22   can need lumber jack boots for that you [TS]

00:58:24   know what i mean like i might be totally [TS]

00:58:25   do a minute I'm i need to do some more [TS]

00:58:28   training benefit in anticipation of ever [TS]

00:58:32   encountering a ball rug in the bin or [TS]

00:58:35   dwarf mines [TS]

00:58:36   [Music] [TS]

00:58:38   but I think that's what she was getting [TS]

00:58:40   at analyzing are you man is not you're [TS]

00:58:42   not afraid of a Vision Quest right you [TS]

00:58:43   know you'll do a Vision Quest oh I've [TS]

00:58:45   been on a few right [TS]

00:58:47   oh you know you you mentioned in an [TS]

00:58:48   earlier visit the you well one plan you [TS]

00:58:51   had 22 I think you're gonna go to was at [TS]

00:58:54   tierra del fuego with with your daughter [TS]

00:58:56   is that right yeah we're gonna buy buy [TS]

00:58:58   whatever jeep with the best cheap we [TS]

00:59:00   could buy for 2,000 bucks yeah and just [TS]

00:59:02   start going to fix it as needed [TS]

00:59:05   start going south to Tierra del Fuego [TS]

00:59:07   mean heiress and that mean an error [TS]

00:59:09   somewhere down the pompous I i I'm sorry [TS]

00:59:12   that but you know that I feel fear [TS]

00:59:14   that's as good as junior high for Furcal [TS]

00:59:17   girl am i right [TS]

00:59:19   it's a couple years there when you send [TS]

00:59:20   your kids to junior high that's [TS]

00:59:22   absolutely worthless nothing happens if [TS]

00:59:23   you bring along 30 special cassette [TS]

00:59:25   maker just make her feel that a couple [TS]

00:59:26   times a week I think you get three years [TS]

00:59:28   credit up here's my question to you john [TS]

00:59:32   is a if the car huh i was at a dance in [TS]

00:59:36   8th grade and my dance I mean the guy [TS]

00:59:37   standing one side the girls down the [TS]

00:59:38   other and really really whipped by Devo [TS]

00:59:41   and another one bites the dust [TS]

00:59:43   no no but you know what your timing is [TS]

00:59:45   precisely you know the era because we're [TS]

00:59:47   both part of the you know supertrain [TS]

00:59:49   generation but he's writing there is a [TS]

00:59:51   cover band there [TS]

00:59:52   I know I told you this but that is it is [TS]

00:59:54   cover man they brought cover man the [TS]

00:59:56   local band and the day [TS]

00:59:56   local band and the day [TS]

01:00:00   did not play Steve Miller but they they [TS]

01:00:02   you know they did at toward the [TS]

01:00:04   beginning toward the end they played [TS]

01:00:05   hold on loosely twice also said so it's [TS]

01:00:09   very fun to play here's a question if a [TS]

01:00:11   Carnival comes to town right and you and [TS]

01:00:13   you continue having in this sense in [TS]

01:00:15   your in your great wizard heart you know [TS]

01:00:16   that there's something going on with [TS]

01:00:17   that carriers do you think you would go [TS]

01:00:19   to a carnival with her because it seems [TS]

01:00:21   to me you go to a carnival there are [TS]

01:00:22   many opportunities to teach some of the [TS]

01:00:23   site you go into a dark fun house and [TS]

01:00:24   see if there's owls maybe you finally [TS]

01:00:27   win the fucking milk bottle game and get [TS]

01:00:28   a vuvuzela well maybe we put a quarter [TS]

01:00:31   in an unplugged tell your fortune [TS]

01:00:33   machine yeah which comes to life and [TS]

01:00:37   grants are one wish [TS]

01:00:40   grant me one wish as well there's your [TS]

01:00:43   answer which I'm taking it easy all [TS]

01:00:45   you're gonna claim her wish [TS]

01:00:47   well if I can I don't know some [TS]

01:00:48   supernatural stuff we might have to [TS]

01:00:50   fight each other with force lightning [TS]

01:00:51   like in a Roger Corman movie watch audio [TS]

01:00:55   only one i remember movie I barely [TS]

01:00:59   remember i think it was in the raven or [TS]

01:01:01   the pendulum and had nothing to do with [TS]

01:01:03   the books but i do remember one scene [TS]

01:01:05   where I know it was Peter Lorre and I [TS]

01:01:08   think my Christopher Lee but it was it [TS]

01:01:10   was always missin price i think peter [TS]

01:01:12   lorre like having a magic show down on [TS]

01:01:15   like a five-thousand-dollar budget [TS]

01:01:17   don't miss falls across the land don't [TS]

01:01:20   don't don't don't don't don't [TS]

01:01:24   he sounds like a really cool guy he [TS]

01:01:27   sounds like mr. Rogers level guy you [TS]

01:01:29   know you think it's an art collector [TS]

01:01:30   he's married fun on price can I think so [TS]

01:01:33   Vincent Canby which is the one in the [TS]

01:01:34   middle if you need any light I think he [TS]

01:01:36   seems like a very cool guy [TS]

01:01:38   I'm sorry I never got to meet that guy [TS]

01:01:39   because you know but you know what he [TS]

01:01:41   had career longevity he's one of those [TS]

01:01:42   guys like like like a hero [TS]

01:01:44   ray milland he's one of those guys who [TS]

01:01:46   like found a way to work [TS]

01:01:47   he was getting work right you know you [TS]

01:01:49   check your book are you available yes [TS]

01:01:51   right he was he was doing a film over [TS]

01:01:52   here and his eyebrows were doing a [TS]

01:01:54   separate engagement over here he was [TS]

01:01:56   making money to time that's how you can [TS]

01:01:57   tell somebody to pro his eyebrows might [TS]

01:01:59   be going in again bespoke suit or [TS]

01:02:01   perhaps and lumberjack boots I have so [TS]

01:02:03   much respect you know they said that [TS]

01:02:05   Joan Rivers and talking very very hard [TS]

01:02:07   to watch but I have a lot of respect for [TS]

01:02:09   people you know who go out and try to [TS]

01:02:11   keep the book full I don't do that you [TS]

01:02:13   don't do [TS]

01:02:13   I know I don't do that but you know i [TS]

01:02:14   would love to have more opportunities to [TS]

01:02:16   be interviewing a documentary and say I [TS]

01:02:17   you know had room in my book and I did [TS]

01:02:18   it [TS]

01:02:19   do you have a book I don't even have a [TS]

01:02:21   book no I don't give up i talked about [TS]

01:02:22   the books now i don't but i but I know [TS]

01:02:25   people who go from one thing to the [TS]

01:02:27   other and there's a certain point [TS]

01:02:28   there's a certain line in the sand where [TS]

01:02:30   I feel like some of that is just that [TS]

01:02:32   you're trying to keep the demon dogs off [TS]

01:02:33   your heels [TS]

01:02:34   he just doing one thing after another [TS]

01:02:35   state never stop never hear the [TS]

01:02:39   screaming in your head [TS]

01:02:40   yeah but then then again the other way [TS]

01:02:44   of looking at it is that that's really [TS]

01:02:46   as good as you can get in life you know [TS]

01:02:49   what I mean like we all have screaming [TS]

01:02:51   in our head we all just need to keep [TS]

01:02:52   moving from thing to thing who there is [TS]

01:02:54   no value [TS]

01:02:56   I'm beginning to feel like there's no [TS]

01:02:57   value in sitting and thinking about [TS]

01:02:58   stuff and how john jon john jon john [TS]

01:03:00   it's so so true out [TS]

01:03:04   no I mean I don't see Richard but you're [TS]

01:03:07   right thinking thinking has never [TS]

01:03:08   fucking done anything for me really [TS]

01:03:10   happy i should be filling my book I [TS]

01:03:11   should be like Joan Rivers well I don't [TS]

01:03:13   spend as much as general especially like [TS]

01:03:15   Vincent prices eyebrows I should be out [TS]

01:03:16   getting gigs at Magic cast that's [TS]

01:03:18   exactly right and making things happen [TS]

01:03:21   and filling up my book who did Vincent [TS]

01:03:24   Price Thurl Ravenscroft Paul in people [TS]

01:03:27   who say what time and what do I where [TS]

01:03:28   they show up and they fill the fucking [TS]

01:03:29   book and they don't have to think i dont [TS]

01:03:31   even if they even unpack you know what I [TS]

01:03:33   mean they're probably moving so fast [TS]

01:03:34   right that's how you get the center [TS]

01:03:36   square on Hollywood Squares that's right [TS]

01:03:38   you don't you don't get there by sitting [TS]

01:03:39   at home waiting for somebody to call now [TS]

01:03:41   you're right just for the Oscars you go [TS]

01:03:42   fill up your book gotta get that book i [TS]

01:03:44   had to get up first of all a write this [TS]

01:03:45   down [TS]

01:03:46   hey I've got to get a book and then I've [TS]

01:03:48   got to fill it got closer he got a [TS]

01:03:51   people get set go so go ahead [TS]

01:03:53   well you are your three blackout parts [TS]

01:03:54   i'm out of cards and i have to pee [TS]

01:03:56   yeah that's pretty much it will take a [TS]

01:04:00   break and come back its unceremonious [TS]

01:04:02   and i have to pee or click ok we'll take [TS]

01:04:06   a brick [TS]

01:04:08   outstanding feel better [TS]

01:04:13   yeah use that phrase like category error [TS]

01:04:15   i don't know what that means don't tell [TS]

01:04:17   me but I'm gonna say I made a category [TS]

01:04:18   error love before our show having a [TS]

01:04:21   large bowl of soup a ginger ale and a [TS]

01:04:23   snapple well those are all liquids he [TS]

01:04:28   went to the u-dub did I don't even know [TS]

01:04:31   I don't know we've never done anything [TS]

01:04:32   like this John you think you think it's [TS]

01:04:34   gonna work okay what the interlude [TS]

01:04:35   having will be fined we could drop in [TS]

01:04:39   some some Goldberg Variations or [TS]

01:04:41   something because we don't have the [TS]

01:04:42   rights and the rights for the Hendrix [TS]

01:04:44   estate [TS]

01:04:45   oh right right you got the rights I [TS]

01:04:48   should have I should have improvise [TS]

01:04:49   something although that that version of [TS]

01:04:51   purple haze [TS]

01:04:52   I think qualifies as jazz I think it's [TS]

01:04:55   letting you know what I'm actually [TS]

01:04:59   playing you know what song i'm playing [TS]

01:05:02   holy shit [TS]

01:05:03   well sometimes sit bagley something keep [TS]

01:05:05   you on a plane ice cream man holy shit [TS]

01:05:09   you've been doing it for 35 years [TS]

01:05:12   yup that's my other man can accept you [TS]

01:05:16   you keep saying we shouldn't that out we [TS]

01:05:18   should have that out but we have edited [TS]

01:05:20   anything on this podcast I've edited two [TS]

01:05:23   things I think accepting will when one [TS]

01:05:27   of us said boobies [TS]

01:05:28   yeah that's cut that out now no now I am [TS]

01:05:31   I don't realize until later how much I [TS]

01:05:33   sniff on the show I sniff a lot and [TS]

01:05:37   advertisers will drip [TS]

01:05:38   well I have allergies and I take a DD [TS]

01:05:40   medicine so i'm sure there's something [TS]

01:05:42   in between and a lot of soup and so one [TS]

01:05:44   time there was one show where it was [TS]

01:05:46   unlistenable how much I sniffed and I [TS]

01:05:48   went through and Ira Glass doubt all of [TS]

01:05:51   the sniffs wow I never realized you put [TS]

01:05:54   any work into this [TS]

01:05:54   I don't know no house once once once [TS]

01:05:56   there's another time where we had a [TS]

01:05:58   really good episode and I cut out seven [TS]

01:06:00   hours of arguing about religion haha but [TS]

01:06:05   I'm not going to mention that i'm not [TS]

01:06:06   gonna mention that we're gonna cut all [TS]

01:06:07   that out [TS]

01:06:09   that's the beautiful part i mean that's [TS]

01:06:10   what makes the show the last episode of [TS]

01:06:12   our program because people will listen [TS]

01:06:14   to this you know hopefully [TS]

01:06:15   chronologically people should be [TS]

01:06:16   listening [TS]

01:06:17   John you know me I don't like to pick my [TS]

01:06:19   stuff i don't like to tell people what [TS]

01:06:20   to do you should fucking listen to every [TS]

01:06:22   episode of this show and while you're [TS]

01:06:24   waiting for john to put out the next [TS]

01:06:25   episode of the show you should keep [TS]

01:06:27   listening to it and listen to them in [TS]

01:06:29   order because it's cumulative it's like [TS]

01:06:31   fucking organic chemistry like from [TS]

01:06:32   John's brain so again [TS]

01:06:34   yeah with we're building a pyramid and [TS]

01:06:35   when we reach the top we're going to [TS]

01:06:37   touch the hem of gods girl super train [TS]

01:06:40   which like all of our episodes is even [TS]

01:06:42   better than the one before because your [TS]

01:06:44   wisdom continues to grow each week with [TS]

01:06:46   what you learn [TS]

01:06:46   right now we went from wonder if you [TS]

01:06:48   notice this but we went from hang up to [TS]

01:06:52   Mike Mills is penis cocaine in like 30 [TS]

01:06:55   minutes I don't understand I don't [TS]

01:06:59   understand the construction [TS]

01:07:00   oh yea struggling like I do I'm last [TS]

01:07:02   fermented with you talking about how I [TS]

01:07:04   you're free you're drinking buddy i'm [TS]

01:07:05   mike mills yeah shoot ok your penis you [TS]

01:07:08   bumps how to do that didn't penis cock [TS]

01:07:10   mirror you know I think it's one of [TS]

01:07:11   those things where you squeeze all the [TS]

01:07:13   air out of your penis and then you stick [TS]

01:07:14   it in the cocaine and then you let go of [TS]

01:07:16   it and it just sucks the cock milking [TS]

01:07:18   called milking and also if you're [TS]

01:07:19   smoking reversed ok [TS]

01:07:21   it keeps you from getting embolism yeah [TS]

01:07:23   it'll isms I don't know much about [TS]

01:07:25   embolisms you're never i know it's [TS]

01:07:28   pulmonary ok you never blow into a [TS]

01:07:30   lady's vagina did you know that i didn't [TS]

01:07:32   know that she can get embolism [TS]

01:07:34   I'm gonna have to completely interesting [TS]

01:07:36   technique could have to get some with [TS]

01:07:39   the owls on not need to change after [TS]

01:07:40   looking at this I'm gonna have to put [TS]

01:07:42   this move along in the difference haha i [TS]

01:07:47   don't even know what that word is [TS]

01:07:48   I gotta say also if I could I that the [TS]

01:07:51   one which continued but the UM the the [TS]

01:07:55   feathered roach clip seems like a [TS]

01:07:59   terrible idea on so many levels of all [TS]

01:08:01   the things that I would want a roach [TS]

01:08:02   clip and inflammable seen inflammable [TS]

01:08:04   bird parts is about the last thing I [TS]

01:08:07   would want on a roach clip well but you [TS]

01:08:08   remember that the extension of the [TS]

01:08:10   feathered roach clip was that people [TS]

01:08:12   that were girls started wearing ear [TS]

01:08:14   rings like but that's John that's what [TS]

01:08:16   doesn't pose to be what it's for [TS]

01:08:18   it's ok you know some people use coke [TS]

01:08:20   cans to drink Coke [TS]

01:08:22   instead of instead of smoke weed uh-huh [TS]

01:08:24   I think I guess right now I know exactly [TS]

01:08:27   what you're cooking for you you get a [TS]

01:08:29   coke married your cock right off the [TS]

01:08:30   mirror now and I think the idea was the [TS]

01:08:32   whole reason you can have that was that [TS]

01:08:35   you go t he o you sit on your ear ring [TS]

01:08:37   what's your hair when they don't want a [TS]

01:08:39   fuckin alligator clip on your ear i mean [TS]

01:08:40   i think it's you know German but I think [TS]

01:08:43   you put in your hair you put in your [TS]

01:08:44   hair o.o it's like it's like a little [TS]

01:08:46   bit of it look a bit of flair Hair [TS]

01:08:48   flashy it's a little bit of flair [TS]

01:08:49   finally where the fuck is my mo I'm how [TS]

01:08:52   do i get my memo from you [TS]

01:08:53   well are you talking about your your [TS]

01:08:55   your binky no no that you're the German [TS]

01:08:58   the German fans sent me though o.o your [TS]

01:09:01   mom oh well I'm not happy here at the [TS]

01:09:03   shelter we have it in the box with your [TS]

01:09:05   cello yeah i'm just making a Merlin care [TS]

01:09:08   package i got your mouth [TS]

01:09:09   I got your cello I'm just thrown stuff [TS]

01:09:11   in it as a way to get five things and [TS]

01:09:13   send them [TS]

01:09:14   I've got I've got the copy of the live [TS]

01:09:16   from New York the the oral history of [TS]

01:09:18   saturday night live [TS]

01:09:19   I have that book at the traffic but i'll [TS]

01:09:20   take it okay so now we get away from or [TS]

01:09:22   ok I'm glad there's no way for people to [TS]

01:09:24   contact us [TS]

01:09:25   well you know it's interesting you have [TS]

01:09:28   you have steadfastly refused to have a [TS]

01:09:30   comment page on anything you do that [TS]

01:09:33   requires very little steadfast on my [TS]

01:09:35   partitions never you never gonna happen [TS]

01:09:38   it's very good they say well they say [TS]

01:09:40   thank you for helping me okay we know ya [TS]

01:09:42   know they would say blah blah blah blah [TS]

01:09:44   blah sir some kid sent me an email the [TS]

01:09:47   other day one of these one of these [TS]

01:09:49   emails that only you you could you could [TS]

01:09:52   only write a thing like this viewer 22 [TS]

01:09:54   years old if you're 23 or 2y otherwise [TS]

01:09:56   the computer won't even accept it [TS]

01:09:58   yeah if you're 21 you're I i have to [TS]

01:10:01   assume you're doing something else but [TS]

01:10:02   this guy wrote me a letter in response [TS]

01:10:04   to one of my co weekly articles where he [TS]

01:10:08   said but the article that the letter [TS]

01:10:10   itself like refuted and negated itself [TS]

01:10:13   13 times you know like you know you hate [TS]

01:10:16   that I don't want to be you know what [TS]

01:10:18   you're John Roderick you are guys just [TS]

01:10:21   wanted your the one of the music [TS]

01:10:24   business people who who stands and in [TS]

01:10:27   between your one of the music business [TS]

01:10:29   hipsters that stands between good new [TS]

01:10:31   music and the and the world and [TS]

01:10:33   yet your band sucks and nothing you do [TS]

01:10:36   matters and yet you are part you know he [TS]

01:10:39   just he goes he's just reading me the [TS]

01:10:40   riot act [TS]

01:10:41   who all these things and and and [TS]

01:10:44   throughout the course of the letter you [TS]

01:10:45   can tell by the references he's making [TS]

01:10:47   that he is a super fan he's listening to [TS]

01:10:51   have it doesn't every album is seen as [TS]

01:10:54   15 times you know he's like he's just [TS]

01:10:56   having Tourette's moment or something [TS]

01:10:58   where he is he [TS]

01:11:01   or he's one of those people that hate [TS]

01:11:02   something so much that he goes and like [TS]

01:11:05   I obsesses over and absorbs at all right [TS]

01:11:08   I I feel like I feel like if we had a [TS]

01:11:11   comments page [TS]

01:11:12   well no I mean we do have a comments [TS]

01:11:14   budgets on itunes and it's called the [TS]

01:11:15   internet if I can blog [TS]

01:11:17   yeah and then John I'm glad nobody [TS]

01:11:19   listens to this show because I'll be [TS]

01:11:20   honest with you know students [TS]

01:11:22   uh-huh that is that what you're [TS]

01:11:24   describing there is I you know whatever [TS]

01:11:27   I get stuff like that and it is so [TS]

01:11:31   fucking creepy it's so creepy because [TS]

01:11:35   every time i get something like that [TS]

01:11:36   which is if I hadn't read everything [TS]

01:11:38   you've ever done and loved you so much I [TS]

01:11:40   wouldn't want to kill you and stuff you [TS]

01:11:42   know which isn't the case please don't [TS]

01:11:43   write that cyber weird but like it's [TS]

01:11:45   almost like every time I hear something [TS]

01:11:47   like what you're describing I imagine [TS]

01:11:49   like like a frat boy who's just beat up [TS]

01:11:52   his friend is like crying always fucking [TS]

01:11:54   him like there's just something about it [TS]

01:11:56   it's like so fucking love you but I hate [TS]

01:11:59   you man [TS]

01:12:00   yeah you know now watch on that guy's [TS]

01:12:02   got pie that might come into still in [TS]

01:12:04   your owls you might need your you might [TS]

01:12:05   need your daughter used for sliding [TS]

01:12:06   against that guy you never know the [TS]

01:12:08   issues guy i'm not sure actually went [TS]

01:12:11   through one of those computer programs [TS]

01:12:12   and find out what you learn that your [TS]

01:12:14   editor at the weekly to put it point but [TS]

01:12:18   i do I relish someone trying to breach [TS]

01:12:21   my perimeter because all you mean [TS]

01:12:25   literally come into your house here this [TS]

01:12:26   is this is your opportunity though i'm [TS]

01:12:28   waiting for us [TS]

01:12:29   I get that sense is closed just close [TS]

01:12:32   one quick loopy you definitely did not [TS]

01:12:34   write that guy back at all especially by [TS]

01:12:35   interleaving responses to everything he [TS]

01:12:37   said you're definitely right that I [TS]

01:12:39   learned that many buddy you really [TS]

01:12:40   didn't write back I don't reply my god [TS]

01:12:42   you turn the corner John i have i have i [TS]

01:12:44   turn the corner was it was I learned it [TS]

01:12:46   I'll [TS]

01:12:46   and in part from you in part from dave [TS]

01:12:48   eggers you both have lectured me many [TS]

01:12:50   times don't reply you know Dave Eggers [TS]

01:12:52   yeah and he says and he said many times [TS]

01:12:56   people think that people write about you [TS]

01:12:58   on the Internet are none of your [TS]

01:13:00   business don't read them [TS]

01:13:02   Wow don't read those things don't read [TS]

01:13:05   reviews of your writing don't read [TS]

01:13:07   reviews it is none of your business it's [TS]

01:13:10   not for you and and I'm like uh that's [TS]

01:13:15   very hard for me to do and he said I [TS]

01:13:17   know it's hard for all of us but don't [TS]

01:13:19   ever read what people write about you on [TS]

01:13:22   the Internet [TS]

01:13:23   who and then you have said the similar [TS]

01:13:27   thing different but similar many times [TS]

01:13:29   do not reply to trolls but there's only [TS]

01:13:33   one reply which is if you if you hate it [TS]

01:13:35   so much why are you listening to me is [TS]

01:13:37   not a response to get my response is my [TS]

01:13:39   response is a isn't a very old joke the [TS]

01:13:42   punch line from a very old joke as [TS]

01:13:44   quoted by Morrissey in the leadoff track [TS]

01:13:47   particular track from the queen is dead [TS]

01:13:49   and and once a month it is almost [TS]

01:13:51   exactly once a month I should put it on [TS]

01:13:52   my calendar I will yell back at a [TS]

01:13:54   civilian once a month [TS]

01:13:55   yells at me on twitter in particular and [TS]

01:13:58   i will say that's nothing you should [TS]

01:14:00   hear me play piano [TS]

01:14:03   remember that Jack ever heard that joke [TS]

01:14:05   i'm not sure how you have the cleanest [TS]

01:14:07   dead [TS]

01:14:08   uh well let me tell you much against now [TS]

01:14:11   you tell me a minute to more things to [TS]

01:14:12   tell me too i know you and you cannot [TS]

01:14:14   sing I said that's nothing you should [TS]

01:14:15   hear me play piano haha oh god about you [TS]

01:14:20   Sean sings a lot I sure he does [TS]

01:14:23   ok sorry I cut you off you are you might [TS]

01:14:25   lose your editor of starting my sister [TS]

01:14:27   worked in a record store when she was a [TS]

01:14:29   young teenager she was a very hip girl [TS]

01:14:31   when she was a teenager and she worked [TS]

01:14:33   in a record store during that era and [TS]

01:14:35   she has every Smith's 12-inch there are [TS]

01:14:38   elaborate there are a lot so I know [TS]

01:14:40   because they are in my house now they [TS]

01:14:42   fill up an entire shelf all great you [TS]

01:14:45   need more collections generator and I [TS]

01:14:48   have all the colored vinyl Smith's do [TS]

01:14:50   you have to do with the 12 inch of this [TS]

01:14:52   charming man with four different [TS]

01:14:53   versions at the London [TS]

01:14:55   at least you absolutely do I have it and [TS]

01:14:58   and and the thing about the smiths is [TS]

01:15:02   that they are incredibly polarizing band [TS]

01:15:04   even within my own heart because some of [TS]

01:15:07   their songs are are some of the great [TS]

01:15:09   songs and most of their material is [TS]

01:15:12   unlistenable drink [TS]

01:15:17   sorry let's get that out of my system [TS]

01:15:19   real quick while your little dry you are [TS]

01:15:21   potentially making fun of the smiths did [TS]

01:15:25   you know you go to that was shot right [TS]

01:15:26   you got really good at this was shocked [TS]

01:15:28   because you knew that could get like [TS]

01:15:29   isn't it isn't sean nelson your your [TS]

01:15:31   your friend on boy and every other [TS]

01:15:34   person who sings in a fake British [TS]

01:15:36   accent they all love the Smiths never [TS]

01:15:38   said that [TS]

01:15:38   well with the lawyers voice what is it [TS]

01:15:40   again I'm not gonna take on Malone this [TS]

01:15:42   podcast yeah I thought I introduced [TS]

01:15:45   myself to him the other night that I [TS]

01:15:47   think that's a good policy i think [TS]

01:15:48   everyone who sees Colin should introduce [TS]

01:15:50   themselves to him and say I'm a friend [TS]

01:15:53   of John Rocker I don't you know your [TS]

01:15:54   your your your story about this missing [TS]

01:15:56   your perimeter but it was pretty it was [TS]

01:15:57   pretty funny [TS]

01:15:59   yeah yeah well yeah well no this is this [TS]

01:16:02   is literally like I'm like less than a [TS]

01:16:03   month ago we are doing our program for a [TS]

01:16:05   while I know you guys you guys are you [TS]

01:16:07   I'm friend me what these are better [TS]

01:16:08   friend Francis Francis now i would say [TS]

01:16:11   we're friends why now I know but you [TS]

01:16:13   still haven't told the toilet papering [TS]

01:16:14   story but I tried to explain to my [TS]

01:16:16   daughter like the difference between [TS]

01:16:17   expensive and costly I want her to [TS]

01:16:19   understand what i believe i don't care [TS]

01:16:21   if it's true what I believe is a huge [TS]

01:16:24   difference between an enemy a nemesis [TS]

01:16:27   oh right that's obviously you've done [TS]

01:16:30   that wonderful song with jonathan [TS]

01:16:31   coulton but my understanding is an enemy [TS]

01:16:33   to me is somebody that you want to [TS]

01:16:35   destroy and potentially have very little [TS]

01:16:37   respect for write a nemesis is like you [TS]

01:16:40   almost need that person is a symbiotic [TS]

01:16:43   there's a certain kind of respect that [TS]

01:16:46   could be grudging or not [TS]

01:16:48   uh-huh now what about the Road Runner [TS]

01:16:50   and wile e coyote i think i think the [TS]

01:16:53   road well you know what it's not even [TS]

01:16:54   match i think i think the the coyote [TS]

01:16:57   sees the rubber meets the road runner i [TS]

01:16:59   don't think the road underneath the [TS]

01:17:01   coyote then that makes me so mad [TS]

01:17:03   a row but it does that like this like [TS]

01:17:05   right fucking frat boy the Road Runner [TS]

01:17:07   is someone who is living in the moment [TS]

01:17:08   the roadrunner has no future no past [TS]

01:17:10   right [TS]

01:17:11   I know he was your nemesis right was [TS]

01:17:14   calling your nemesis for a while [TS]

01:17:15   roadrunner I I feel like my relationship [TS]

01:17:18   with convoy a and like a lot of other [TS]

01:17:21   musicians like a lot of gay men it's [TS]

01:17:23   complicated but a lot of musicians that [TS]

01:17:25   I respect and admire my first impulse is [TS]

01:17:29   to [TS]

01:17:30   hate them for their for their success [TS]

01:17:34   that's good that's the Alaska talking [TS]

01:17:35   and also for the town and also for their [TS]

01:17:39   their methods and manners [TS]

01:17:42   I'm so kind i have spent a lot of time [TS]

01:17:44   together and a lot of that time has been [TS]

01:17:47   in it kind of boat facing each other in [TS]

01:17:52   a wrestling impose em across I maybe at [TS]

01:17:56   a a rickety bridge made out of bamboo [TS]

01:18:00   prospect across the chasm but like a lot [TS]

01:18:05   of my fields with with rock musicians [TS]

01:18:08   not at a certain point what happened [TS]

01:18:11   with Colin was that he got to a rich and [TS]

01:18:13   famous to care anymore about you know if [TS]

01:18:15   the feud that but we were having a sale [TS]

01:18:18   is a good ones [TS]

01:18:19   yeah and so then he was like oh are you [TS]

01:18:21   still having that Feud I'm not even here [TS]

01:18:23   anymore and then I was like this is this [TS]

01:18:27   isn't fun anymore i'm not gonna have a [TS]

01:18:28   feud with somebody who's not it's not [TS]

01:18:30   feeling back so that's that that has [TS]

01:18:34   happened a few times as the people that [TS]

01:18:37   I was feeling with became a so rich and [TS]

01:18:39   famous that they didn't I i think i have [TS]

01:18:42   i think i think that Colin uh if you [TS]

01:18:47   listen to this podcast i would be [TS]

01:18:48   getting his goat right now and so that [TS]

01:18:50   means the feud is still on good [TS]

01:18:52   well if I really died he probably it he [TS]

01:18:54   probably has someone who has someone to [TS]

01:18:56   listen to this if he does what she does [TS]

01:18:58   it [TS]

01:18:59   probably but by da but the thing is let [TS]

01:19:01   me ask you this let me just get a quick [TS]

01:19:02   why dear here you have to word with the [TS]

01:19:05   December's yes a few times teach you are [TS]

01:19:08   you not on at least one recording by the [TS]

01:19:11   decemberists yes [TS]

01:19:12   ok play backwards piano ok honor honor [TS]

01:19:16   December's album and you could if [TS]

01:19:18   challenged sing along with or perhaps [TS]

01:19:21   even cover like at least the Baraboo [TS]

01:19:24   song or the tin smithy March or in his [TS]

01:19:28   material familiar with the requirement [TS]

01:19:30   you you know that the the Pirates of [TS]

01:19:32   Yale by heart in and many nights many [TS]

01:19:35   many nights a colin has introduced the [TS]

01:19:38   chimbley sweep [TS]

01:19:40   by saying that it is a song about me [TS]

01:19:43   I don't know my life story haha to be [TS]

01:19:46   bad but you're fighting in that book in [TS]

01:19:49   his new what I'm a dynamic character but [TS]

01:19:52   my point is you are familiar enough with [TS]

01:19:54   a lot of his stuff you could probably if [TS]

01:19:56   you want to backstage just loud enough [TS]

01:19:58   for him to here with his craft services [TS]

01:20:00   that you're not allowed to touch you [TS]

01:20:01   could sing just loud enough a parody of [TS]

01:20:04   the chimbley sweep be like inserting the [TS]

01:20:06   word poop a lot like if you if you [TS]

01:20:08   wanted to you could probably know the [TS]

01:20:10   courts to be able to do that via that [TS]

01:20:13   the main way that I guess I really [TS]

01:20:15   instantly answer in the main way that I [TS]

01:20:17   get their goat is to drop constant [TS]

01:20:20   references to how their songs are all [TS]

01:20:22   about pirates and for a while they took [TS]

01:20:26   it a with the with the kind of like a [TS]

01:20:28   forced smile and then there was a period [TS]

01:20:31   where every time I would do it Collin [TS]

01:20:33   would say we have no songs about pirates [TS]

01:20:35   not not a single one and i would say all [TS]

01:20:38   right except for the that and then I [TS]

01:20:40   would you know I list all of their songs [TS]

01:20:42   that are about pirates and he would say [TS]

01:20:44   none of those are about pirates and then [TS]

01:20:47   now we went through a phase where he [TS]

01:20:48   stopped even he just would ignore me [TS]

01:20:50   would just keep his face completely [TS]

01:20:52   blocked the patrician shrug it would [TS]

01:20:54   when I would talk about pirates now i'm [TS]

01:20:57   not sure if I if I said all your songs [TS]

01:20:59   are about pirates maybe maybe he would [TS]

01:21:02   maybe with laughs maybe it's a thing [TS]

01:21:05   maybe to a meme now we've been doing it [TS]

01:21:07   for so long [TS]

01:21:08   the reason I don't think he would laugh [TS]

01:21:09   players and I bring it up is it seems to [TS]

01:21:11   me that you are now especially given [TS]

01:21:13   your owls you are uniquely qualified to [TS]

01:21:15   write him a super creepy letter [TS]

01:21:17   yeah haha in which in which you display [TS]

01:21:20   how familiar you are with him how close [TS]

01:21:23   you are how much you know about him and [TS]

01:21:25   how many fucking things wrong with him [TS]

01:21:27   it's the perfect time he loves to read [TS]

01:21:29   ya know i think in fact I think you [TS]

01:21:31   might even have a story you might even [TS]

01:21:34   have a story like that himself where he [TS]

01:21:35   wrote a letter like that to someone who [TS]

01:21:38   uh i think george bernard shaw yeah haha [TS]

01:21:47   [Music] [TS]