Roderick on the Line

Ep. 17: "Antisocially Promoted"


00:00:00   hello John how are you hi Merlin a la [TS]

00:00:10   lune man i gotta work on something [TS]

00:00:16   better [TS]

00:00:16   what do you recommend what do you think [TS]

00:00:17   what would you how would you like your [TS]

00:00:18   name son it's not really as my name [TS]

00:00:22   isn't as single as your name like that [TS]

00:00:24   man is like like asking for christmas [TS]

00:00:26   present right i should come up with [TS]

00:00:27   something [TS]

00:00:28   well i don't know i mean that people [TS]

00:00:31   have tried to give me theme music I've [TS]

00:00:35   always felt like the best theme music I [TS]

00:00:38   ever had a butter was on tour one time [TS]

00:00:40   and butter one of those little 99-cent [TS]

00:00:42   keyboards in a thrift store and it had [TS]

00:00:46   it had like 10 presets on it [TS]

00:00:50   preset buttons like that play little [TS]

00:00:53   themes and one of them just said [TS]

00:00:55   oriental top equation congratulations [TS]

00:00:59   John that's a new record it would be 54 [TS]

00:01:02   seconds to ping phone when you press the [TS]

00:01:05   button is the keyboard a little a bit [TS]

00:01:06   keyboard just went did and so I carried [TS]

00:01:12   that keyboard around on tour her like [TS]

00:01:15   three weeks and every time like before I [TS]

00:01:17   would enter a room I would just put the [TS]

00:01:18   whole keyboard through the door and push [TS]

00:01:20   the button did it tonight after like a [TS]

00:01:25   month of that how much feed her that [TS]

00:01:27   horrible will sit down let's straighten [TS]

00:01:28   someone's heart it was so great because [TS]

00:01:30   it was one of those jokes that that [TS]

00:01:32   stopped being funny and then got really [TS]

00:01:35   funny and then got really funny and i [TS]

00:01:38   love this i just wish i had a half but [TS]

00:01:40   like like that music everywhere i go i [TS]

00:01:43   used to one of that's like that today [TS]

00:01:45   they called a soundboard we go to a page [TS]

00:01:47   and you can make Arnold Schwarzenegger [TS]

00:01:48   noises of the big lebowski always were a [TS]

00:01:50   vest you know that by the plate sad [TS]

00:01:52   trombone or uh oh yeah yeah yeah exactly [TS]

00:01:57   something like that are bong ironing [TS]

00:01:59   like I want I don't want I you gotta be [TS]

00:02:02   honest with you I don't think of myself [TS]

00:02:04   as a distant dishonest person I don't [TS]

00:02:06   have an entire affected like fake [TS]

00:02:09   audience but i would like the [TS]

00:02:10   opportunity to punctuate my own not that [TS]

00:02:12   funny jokes with the south [TS]

00:02:13   effect ah uu there's a part of you that [TS]

00:02:17   wants to be a morning DJ it's a very [TS]

00:02:20   very small part that the probably [TS]

00:02:22   dropped a lot you hear great morning DJ [TS]

00:02:24   though I could be a morning DJ it's i [TS]

00:02:28   don't mind getting up early i don't like [TS]

00:02:30   driving fingers you could have been a [TS]

00:02:33   morning DJ I got it I could have been a [TS]

00:02:35   lot of things John our age group we [TS]

00:02:38   really have to transition from talking [TS]

00:02:39   about things that we want to do or could [TS]

00:02:41   do start talking about things that we [TS]

00:02:44   could have done that big transition I [TS]

00:02:47   could've been in the Special Forces yes [TS]

00:02:49   i am now no longer eligible for the [TS]

00:02:52   Special Forces I should have listened to [TS]

00:02:54   my bowling coach because he told me [TS]

00:02:55   something that sticks with me to this [TS]

00:02:57   day [TS]

00:02:57   go ahead ask a question with a question [TS]

00:02:59   at this point you probably coach John [TS]

00:03:02   you can't have a bowling team without a [TS]

00:03:03   coach up not only I'd like to get back [TS]

00:03:05   let me strike that it wasn't it was not [TS]

00:03:08   a bowling team was a bowling club right [TS]

00:03:10   ok so he was a booster club leader [TS]

00:03:12   bowling i was employed club not a lot of [TS]

00:03:14   laser that's good way to put it i mean [TS]

00:03:17   yeah i think you regard himself as a [TS]

00:03:18   coach you have one of those little those [TS]

00:03:19   creepy little MIT where when you're [TS]

00:03:22   serious bowler you know you know this [TS]

00:03:24   creepy little things that like bowler [TS]

00:03:26   guys we're not know you're not about a [TS]

00:03:28   glove [TS]

00:03:28   it's a kind of club but it's a really it [TS]

00:03:32   looks like a swimming glove-like hit the [TS]

00:03:34   web its web [TS]

00:03:35   I just I've never seen somebody wearing [TS]

00:03:38   one of those who didn't look a little [TS]

00:03:39   bit like a discount supervillain when [TS]

00:03:41   i'm at what I'm wondering is does that [TS]

00:03:43   give you an unfair advantage in the in [TS]

00:03:46   bowling the only higher fare advantage [TS]

00:03:48   is what mr. trapani taught me which is [TS]

00:03:50   starting when you're young he would say [TS]

00:03:52   he was also graphics is also the [TS]

00:03:54   graphics teacher the graphic ret AP [TS]

00:03:57   history so that doesn't look like Jabba [TS]

00:04:00   the Hutt mr. Dallison what up boy you [TS]

00:04:04   wouldn't like you know I'm gonna make a [TS]

00:04:06   note card about AP History I'm gonna [TS]

00:04:08   make an original arcade derek [TS]

00:04:11   congratulations John up saying what [TS]

00:04:12   16-17 history [TS]

00:04:15   let's come back to mr. Ellison what I [TS]

00:04:16   contain this quickly and we shoulda said [TS]

00:04:18   what was his advice mr. data center mr. [TS]

00:04:20   at your panty mr. trepanning mr. trapani [TS]

00:04:23   rights on two cars just don't forget [TS]

00:04:25   don't listen [TS]

00:04:26   his wife was the the Dean of girls so it [TS]

00:04:29   seems like some kind of racket to me mr. [TS]

00:04:33   japani us eighth grade when I really [TS]

00:04:35   like graphic arts you know where you're [TS]

00:04:36   like learn to use a compass and [TS]

00:04:38   protractor and make with the [TS]

00:04:40   orthographic orthogonal what are they [TS]

00:04:42   called the 3d looking drawings you know [TS]

00:04:43   the cube the mysterious 3d cube so yeah [TS]

00:04:46   perspective and perspective [TS]

00:04:48   well in a sense the capital p you [TS]

00:04:49   learned a kind of respect i learned a [TS]

00:04:51   kind of perspective kind of perspective [TS]

00:04:53   you can get in pasco county in 1980 and [TS]

00:04:55   mr. training said he would say ruefully [TS]

00:04:58   ruefully he would say I think from the [TS]

00:05:00   tri-state area [TS]

00:05:01   I'm guessing he wasn't really he said it [TS]

00:05:03   with roo with that kind of love you make [TS]

00:05:04   a lot of room and he said he said [TS]

00:05:07   ruefully he said any shaky-shaky was [TS]

00:05:09   roomful rueful yeah like room yeah and [TS]

00:05:12   he shake it shake his bearded head and [TS]

00:05:14   he'd say guys i really wish i had [TS]

00:05:17   started doing this when I was 14 he says [TS]

00:05:19   because bowling is one of those games [TS]

00:05:21   where if you started if you guys took [TS]

00:05:24   this seriously he was super nice [TS]

00:05:26   he said if you stick with this and you [TS]

00:05:28   do this a couple three times a week you [TS]

00:05:29   could go to the show you could go to the [TS]

00:05:31   show you go all the way to the top play [TS]

00:05:33   with the big boys wherein the wearing [TS]

00:05:34   the metal cleats homeland and he said in [TS]

00:05:37   he said look that's the thing now you [TS]

00:05:38   know I i inferred inregister active [TS]

00:05:42   everything that's true of tap dance [TS]

00:05:43   that's not true that's not you I mean [TS]

00:05:44   that's the dental professional secret [TS]

00:05:46   she started young when she started on [TS]

00:05:48   all that exciting tsui you I don't think [TS]

00:05:51   that's true football I think you have to [TS]

00:05:53   be a pirate case I think you got to be a [TS]

00:05:55   little bit [TS]

00:05:55   oh no I mean you certainly have to be [TS]

00:05:57   big but but that's self-selected to be [TS]

00:06:00   gay [TS]

00:06:01   not really i don't think i don't think [TS]

00:06:03   that's a prerequisite [TS]

00:06:04   ok let's get me they can perfectly dog [TS]

00:06:06   fighting who [TS]

00:06:08   good point um no I think I mean some of [TS]

00:06:10   that stuff is self-selecting calling [TS]

00:06:12   that Gulf of a coffee try really hard [TS]

00:06:14   coffee get good i bet you do get good [TS]

00:06:16   yeah that's a lot of I mean there are a [TS]

00:06:18   lot of things that you can't get good at [TS]

00:06:19   no matter how hard you try if you're um [TS]

00:06:22   motard who right i mean that's that's [TS]

00:06:27   good but I don't think I wish we had [TS]

00:06:29   that word [TS]

00:06:29   there's two words you and i love that we [TS]

00:06:31   just can't use [TS]

00:06:32   a two there's two very special words [TS]

00:06:35   that most artists is his offensive it [TS]

00:06:38   isn't any cricket John that's like you [TS]

00:06:40   know what you really want to say if you [TS]

00:06:42   have if you have parties like calling [TS]

00:06:43   somebody a maggot [TS]

00:06:45   tap quick little maggot quit acting like [TS]

00:06:48   a magnet for a mag are such it's just [TS]

00:06:51   such a fag butts so Maggie you could say [TS]

00:06:53   you could say flame tarde you could say [TS]

00:06:56   you could well you can't say float art [TS]

00:06:58   because that's a girl I know but you can [TS]

00:07:01   put tired at the end of anything and [TS]

00:07:03   it's it's automatically offensive is [TS]

00:07:05   horribly offensive anymore into the [TS]

00:07:06   harmful that's the only ppl just like [TS]

00:07:13   two winners in Canada you should have a [TS]

00:07:15   medical procedure more often this is the [TS]

00:07:16   John this is the John you know I think [TS]

00:07:20   if you keep it fresh [TS]

00:07:21   I'll do all the clown tardy dicked hard [TS]

00:07:23   ground hard on the fucktard you don't [TS]

00:07:25   look at me a clown tarde [TS]

00:07:26   look II know that from you as fuck [TS]

00:07:29   staying I never and I was a kid I've [TS]

00:07:31   never heard that before [TS]

00:07:32   well fuck spain i mean is there a lower [TS]

00:07:34   thing tantrum a stain [TS]

00:07:38   yes and forum that's right Santorum fans [TS]

00:07:41   have a channel when I do not want to [TS]

00:07:43   talk about tea party you don't want to [TS]

00:07:44   talk about politics and mr. sharp and [TS]

00:07:46   mr. Schmidt was rueful he was good man [TS]

00:07:48   he was what you don't want to get a [TS]

00:07:50   giant jar Drew he had ruined i don't use [TS]

00:07:52   the first bedroom yeah yeah Louisiana [TS]

00:07:55   sauce it's got flour in it or through [TS]

00:07:58   this a little of that Louisiana sauce [TS]

00:08:02   that leaves your friends manuscript [TS]

00:08:04   names on it easy and resolved through [TS]

00:08:07   the baby kangaroo and winnie the pooh [TS]

00:08:08   all through short for roofie a rifle all [TS]

00:08:13   but they ready you're having a stroke [TS]

00:08:16   alright here's a link to the first 1i [TS]

00:08:19   have today mr. miss her panty was [TS]

00:08:22   supervising Minister Mr detlefsen I was [TS]

00:08:24   not in AP History I'm not you cannot be [TS]

00:08:27   a nice teacher if your name is dead love [TS]

00:08:28   some know in that awful it used to just [TS]

00:08:31   you're born pretty you get a cold sore [TS]

00:08:33   just saying that out yet listen deadlift [TS]

00:08:36   shrimp seem like a nice guy [TS]

00:08:38   deadlift shrimp that left shrimp [TS]

00:08:42   he was a basketball player back in the [TS]

00:08:44   old days [TS]

00:08:45   back in Seattle had a basketball team [TS]

00:08:47   well the Sonics that's right and wear [TS]

00:08:50   this wear this all here we go again now [TS]

00:08:52   wear this on it so don't tell me they're [TS]

00:08:53   in Iowa know Oklahoma City Hall for the [TS]

00:08:55   love of Christ that makes me angry John [TS]

00:08:57   and I hate sports you know this about me [TS]

00:08:59   i hate sports but I only thing I hate [TS]

00:09:01   more than sports is people who like [TS]

00:09:03   sports and people who can suffer the [TS]

00:09:06   idea of a regional name going to a [TS]

00:09:07   different fucking place is so goddamn [TS]

00:09:09   woman semi and now they're called like [TS]

00:09:11   the the Oklahoma City gold stars or the [TS]

00:09:14   Oklahoma City like just like a sex thing [TS]

00:09:16   there likes the sunshine rainbows now or [TS]

00:09:19   something and get their name they have [TS]

00:09:21   one of those expansion names I don't [TS]

00:09:22   care about sports either now but all the [TS]

00:09:25   new teams like the old teams have names [TS]

00:09:27   that that I don't know maybe it's just [TS]

00:09:30   because they're old Utah Jazz don't get [TS]

00:09:32   me started on Utah Jazz Utah Jazz that's [TS]

00:09:34   terrible it doesn't make a lick of sense [TS]

00:09:36   what the what the hell is and what the [TS]

00:09:38   hell is a like a Oklahoma City sunshine [TS]

00:09:42   rainbow that's no name for a basketball [TS]

00:09:44   team at the Panhandle state that that [TS]

00:09:47   state does have a pan and it's one of [TS]

00:09:48   the few states that she called the [TS]

00:09:50   panhandlers the Oklahoma panhandlers you [TS]

00:09:52   know Alaska has a panhandle to that we [TS]

00:09:54   call the past she said really called me [TS]

00:09:55   i want that little less a little Wang at [TS]

00:09:57   the bottom right well there are two [TS]

00:09:58   wings as the recent events and away [TS]

00:10:01   ok is it is kind of the peninsula [TS]

00:10:02   archipelago it's an archipelago the [TS]

00:10:08   great when I go to a good luck just so i [TS]

00:10:09   could say that sounds awesome [TS]

00:10:11   now here's the thing about mr. Dallison [TS]

00:10:12   I never had AP History I was inclined [TS]

00:10:14   toward history [TS]

00:10:15   yeah we're we're truly truly the the one [TS]

00:10:18   point in disguise mention this before [TS]

00:10:20   another program but the the teacher of [TS]

00:10:22   the class who was a coach that was some [TS]

00:10:24   it was no no this is mr. i don't know i [TS]

00:10:27   think having a borrowed name [TS]

00:10:28   oh ok but this guy my class this guy [TS]

00:10:30   actually one day said that as part of [TS]

00:10:32   this treaty the Indians would get the [TS]

00:10:34   native americans we get that two-fifths [TS]

00:10:36   of the land or forty percent whichever [TS]

00:10:37   was more so that was a good class now my [TS]

00:10:40   friends name had AP history which is [TS]

00:10:42   advanced placement history that's right [TS]

00:10:44   and mr. detlefsen was famous for two [TS]

00:10:47   things [TS]

00:10:48   well if it was just a hard class in [TS]

00:10:50   general but at he has floundered 23 no [TS]

00:10:54   no sorry it's just down back to Sam [TS]

00:10:55   class a p.o this guy like Jabba the Hutt [TS]

00:10:58   right is in the racket with his wife and [TS]

00:11:01   he mr. Dennison superclass any I think [TS]

00:11:05   he did to every semester 2 20 page [TS]

00:11:09   papers you know i don't think i ever [TS]

00:11:11   wrote one 20-page paper in high school [TS]

00:11:12   that's not normal for high school get [TS]

00:11:14   you ready for this your second 20-page [TS]

00:11:16   paper this is i believe the day before [TS]

00:11:21   like christmas break or whatever you [TS]

00:11:23   know one thing also mr. Ellison demanded [TS]

00:11:26   the AP History always be 4th 4th period [TS]

00:11:29   right so that you could take his test [TS]

00:11:32   through lunch [TS]

00:11:33   yeah what a tough ass ok so you gonna [TS]

00:11:36   happen but the second 20-page paper was [TS]

00:11:38   I was ninety percent of your grade [TS]

00:11:40   oh no no this is a giant giant party or [TS]

00:11:42   great to get this December whatever 21st [TS]

00:11:45   you go in there 22nd whatever you go in [TS]

00:11:47   there is no schools always out by [TS]

00:11:49   December 18 sorry i was already fly [TS]

00:11:51   should check this day before christmas [TS]

00:11:53   starts christmas break you go right [TS]

00:11:55   there i tried a put your 20 page paper [TS]

00:11:58   on my desk [TS]

00:11:59   yes be you got your final or semi final [TS]

00:12:03   though you have to take now [TS]

00:12:05   yeah i'm gonna put it down in front of [TS]

00:12:07   you but this is a real this is a real [TS]

00:12:09   blue book you ready for this yeah [TS]

00:12:11   discuss World War two [TS]

00:12:13   that's the question how fucking great is [TS]

00:12:16   mr. detlefsen discuss world war two [TS]

00:12:19   exactly take as long as you want [TS]

00:12:22   I I would have taken that test all the [TS]

00:12:24   way through lunch i'm going to get [TS]

00:12:26   through today you'd still be sitting [TS]

00:12:27   there would be could be writing writing [TS]

00:12:30   on your rear in World War two [TS]

00:12:33   if you could get a degree in world war [TS]

00:12:34   2i would have I would have a PhD you did [TS]

00:12:37   would be no cold war without warranty [TS]

00:12:38   John and I have to tell you that with [TS]

00:12:41   heavens i don't even know where to start [TS]

00:12:42   with that state now at the time that was [TS]

00:12:44   merely one of those like I don't know [TS]

00:12:48   you know the kinds of stories you hear [TS]

00:12:49   those stories again like the teachers [TS]

00:12:50   with the paddles with the holes in them [TS]

00:12:51   this is one of those things but this was [TS]

00:12:53   real sure and will be history in the AP [TS]

00:12:56   History at tracks the kind of teacher [TS]

00:12:58   who justifies any manner of sadism by [TS]

00:13:02   saying that they are preparing you for [TS]

00:13:04   college I'm preparing you for this is [TS]

00:13:07   what its gonna be like in college i'm [TS]

00:13:09   preparing [TS]

00:13:09   so it's the first time it's the first [TS]

00:13:12   time in your school career if you can [TS]

00:13:13   call it that somebody actually makes [TS]

00:13:15   good on that bullshit promise that [TS]

00:13:17   they're not going to treat you like a [TS]

00:13:18   kid next year [TS]

00:13:19   ya hear that you have their fucking [TS]

00:13:21   preschool only time we get the 2nd grade [TS]

00:13:23   they're not gonna treat you like a kid [TS]

00:13:24   anymore you're going to use sharp crayon [TS]

00:13:26   use cursive you know but of course then [TS]

00:13:28   it's just a bunch of bullshit about [TS]

00:13:29   standing in line I can't tell anybody I [TS]

00:13:31   think I think discuss roll or two is [TS]

00:13:33   maybe the greatest bluebook question of [TS]

00:13:35   all time [TS]

00:13:36   it's wonderful and separates the men [TS]

00:13:37   from the boys the wheat from the chaff [TS]

00:13:39   what you what I maybe you what I would [TS]

00:13:42   not have known then that I know now is [TS]

00:13:44   you just have to write for something [TS]

00:13:45   really fucking awesome about an aspect [TS]

00:13:48   of that right you don't have to go like [TS]

00:13:50   and then this happened and then because [TS]

00:13:52   you're sexy like you don't have to just [TS]

00:13:54   spit out everything you know you have to [TS]

00:13:55   write something coach it fits in the [TS]

00:13:56   book like I do that now right [TS]

00:13:59   well that's that's what's true about all [TS]

00:14:01   essay questions I mean they're just [TS]

00:14:03   looking for you to be you can you can [TS]

00:14:07   you can you can show that you have a a [TS]

00:14:12   canada language yet but de menezes madam [TS]

00:14:17   tuba if you can show that you you have a [TS]

00:14:20   deep knowledge of it of a topic by just [TS]

00:14:22   kind of skating across the top of it if [TS]

00:14:24   you if you write with confidence but [TS]

00:14:28   that's the problem in high school you [TS]

00:14:29   can't you can't count on you can't count [TS]

00:14:31   on even ten percent of the kids being [TS]

00:14:33   able to write imagine imagine like for [TS]

00:14:35   example I don't you know this stuff at [TS]

00:14:37   me but imagine a lead that was something [TS]

00:14:38   like you know whatever with 20 million [TS]

00:14:40   dead and that it happened he would [TS]

00:14:42   imagine if you 1500 you see I'm already [TS]

00:14:45   i'm already off to think that's it and [TS]

00:14:46   go back to the train car like you got a [TS]

00:14:48   book and now you say who wrote a guest [TS]

00:14:50   with the Cold War beginning to get the [TS]

00:14:52   two sides these great allies broken [TS]

00:14:54   apart who would have guessed this all [TS]

00:14:55   began back in this train car this all we [TS]

00:14:58   get him on a summer day in 1939 [TS]

00:15:04   hehe that's not nothing was that was [TS]

00:15:09   Versailles quick [TS]

00:15:10   don't overthink it what the treaty of [TS]

00:15:11   versailles know the place with the [TS]

00:15:13   fucking mirror is John 3 verse i was [TS]

00:15:16   nineteen nineteen nineteen community [TS]

00:15:19   center Roosevelt Teddy Roosevelt [TS]

00:15:20   president teddy roosevelt no was real [TS]

00:15:23   Wilson Woodrow all of course he's on the [TS]

00:15:25   money what money [TS]

00:15:27   woodrow wilson on he's on a hundred [TS]

00:15:29   thousand dollar bill haha up the Woodrow [TS]

00:15:33   well that's why all the rappers are like [TS]

00:15:35   yo give me the woodys give me the [TS]

00:15:38   Wilsons hope it's all about the Wilson I [TS]

00:15:41   hope I'm right about this [TS]

00:15:44   yeah yep google it hundred thousand [TS]

00:15:46   dollar bill Woodrow Wilson is on the [TS]

00:15:49   hundred-thousand-dollar built like a [TS]

00:15:50   light John they're not a lot in [TS]

00:15:51   circulation [TS]

00:15:52   well imagine feel how bad you would feel [TS]

00:15:55   if you lost that if I lost that bet [TS]

00:15:58   well no no I mean not you have already [TS]

00:16:00   lost the bet but I'm saying if you happy [TS]

00:16:02   dont know what it's been a good year [TS]

00:16:04   I'm just gonna go get well see that [TS]

00:16:06   those bills are four banks those bills [TS]

00:16:09   are four banks only terrible and during [TS]

00:16:11   the gold standard having a hundred [TS]

00:16:12   thousand dollar bill Woodrow Wilson is [TS]

00:16:14   on the hundred-thousand-dollar bill [TS]

00:16:16   yeah that's pretty cool if you were to [TS]

00:16:20   land on the three-dollar bill you why I [TS]

00:16:23   oughta [TS]

00:16:23   hey there they don't let those hundred [TS]

00:16:25   thousand dollar bills out and this is [TS]

00:16:27   the thing that's very front hold them up [TS]

00:16:29   to the light in Europe they have 500 [TS]

00:16:32   euro bills that are in that are in wide [TS]

00:16:35   circulation 200 euro bills 500 euro [TS]

00:16:38   bills again it's like a grand 500 euros [TS]

00:16:43   know it's like six hundred dollars that [TS]

00:16:46   this is Europe your ear open yeah okay [TS]

00:16:49   I'm but but there but we have five [TS]

00:16:51   hundred dollar bills here but you can't [TS]

00:16:53   you can't they won't give them to you [TS]

00:16:56   letter concerning the 20 the 10 to 20 [TS]

00:16:58   because of the 80s McKinley President [TS]

00:17:00   McKinley's a five-minute Bill now you [TS]

00:17:02   got me thinking about this crazy about [TS]

00:17:04   it [TS]

00:17:05   who there's a website that i was on very [TS]

00:17:07   recently that tells you how much your [TS]

00:17:11   coinage is worth if you melt it down [TS]

00:17:14   just for the melt weight of the metal in [TS]

00:17:16   the coin [TS]

00:17:17   I do not want to know that for pennies [TS]

00:17:19   with me so angry [TS]

00:17:21   it's pretty nuts for pennies it's costly [TS]

00:17:24   doesn't cost like two cents to make a [TS]

00:17:25   penny [TS]

00:17:26   oh it's I think Penny's are worth more [TS]

00:17:28   than to sense now [TS]

00:17:30   nnw stealing copper pipes [TS]

00:17:33   Jesus Christ what is wrong with this [TS]

00:17:35   country John what you know what we need [TS]

00:17:37   is that was still in copper pipe for a [TS]

00:17:39   long time [TS]

00:17:40   everybody's always trying to steal your [TS]

00:17:41   comfort wipe the hard it's a copper pipe [TS]

00:17:43   problem but no here that this this [TS]

00:17:46   website i'm gonna do is i'm gonna plug a [TS]

00:17:48   website it's called coin solution COI n [TS]

00:17:53   Fla tion dot-com conflation and it will [TS]

00:17:57   tell you the melt value of your coins [TS]

00:18:01   yeah it's really really really really [TS]

00:18:05   cool I don't say this often [TS]

00:18:07   John but this is what are the resources [TS]

00:18:09   at those fat cats in the government do [TS]

00:18:12   not want you to know about that's [TS]

00:18:13   exactly right so just like a 1964 [TS]

00:18:16   quarter 1964 quarter a is worth like [TS]

00:18:22   well it's so worth like four dollars [TS]

00:18:27   four dollars and and thirty cents in [TS]

00:18:31   just in silver weight have you find one [TS]

00:18:35   of those if you find in 1963 quarter in [TS]

00:18:37   your pocket jam and you think like oh [TS]

00:18:38   yeah that's probably worth something [TS]

00:18:40   they're still using that pre-embargo [TS]

00:18:41   silver at that time pre-embargo silver [TS]

00:18:45   yeah what you want to get a van or [TS]

00:18:47   something like that you know before the [TS]

00:18:48   you know I you know Kennedy Kennedy [TS]

00:18:50   stocked up on Havana cigars before the [TS]

00:18:53   embargo you know that right [TS]

00:18:54   oh and Margo silver mhm that's one way [TS]

00:18:57   of putting it [TS]

00:18:58   whoo voice is really amazing 95% copper [TS]

00:19:01   look at that now you know Nicholas a [TS]

00:19:02   carcinogen you know that right well if [TS]

00:19:04   you smoke it [TS]

00:19:05   boom how do you do it put in my nose [TS]

00:19:09   yeah I said I use them as a suppository [TS]

00:19:11   I stick a roll of nickels up there you [TS]

00:19:15   can find a five-set suppository [TS]

00:19:16   somewhere i don't think so [TS]

00:19:17   well no not now that nickels worth a [TS]

00:19:20   dollar fifty is a simple this is a [TS]

00:19:22   fucking upside-down society you know mr. [TS]

00:19:24   dad listen I would we should get in [TS]

00:19:25   touch with him and find out what he [TS]

00:19:26   thinks of this discuss melted coins [TS]

00:19:27   don't talk about mr. Devlin some he [TS]

00:19:29   sounds like a real [TS]

00:19:30   part ass he was he was huge [TS]

00:19:34   I got kicked out of AP History know this [TS]

00:19:39   is when your mom was to confess anything [TS]

00:19:41   special school you know this was a [TS]

00:19:42   scandal to kick you tell me about it [TS]

00:19:45   well so [TS]

00:19:48   ap history right here you're supposed to [TS]

00:19:51   get college credit if you if you get a [TS]

00:19:53   good grade in AP History you can i'll [TS]

00:19:55   give you credit for when you college [TS]

00:19:57   really take that isn't that kinda like a [TS]

00:19:58   like a like a traveler's checks if I [TS]

00:20:01   think if you go to Princeton they [TS]

00:20:03   probably don't care about your AP [TS]

00:20:04   History exam but uh but maybe you know [TS]

00:20:08   what the University of Alaska Anchorage [TS]

00:20:10   maybe you can skip freshman history or [TS]

00:20:13   something i think at the University [TS]

00:20:14   self-weight clip out the first two years [TS]

00:20:16   trying to call its automatic junior but [TS]

00:20:19   in my case I i was in this history class [TS]

00:20:22   and and I had long long since stopped [TS]

00:20:28   paying attention in school and I i was [TS]

00:20:32   taking a makeup exam out in the hall and [TS]

00:20:38   I had my history book in the little the [TS]

00:20:42   little rack that was attached to my that [TS]

00:20:45   was bolted to my wheelchair desk combo [TS]

00:20:48   thing and and at a certain point in the [TS]

00:20:53   test i looked down and flip through the [TS]

00:20:55   pages and try to look see if I could [TS]

00:20:58   figure out when the war of 1812 was or [TS]

00:21:00   whatever the hell question he was asking [TS]

00:21:02   and he can heat the teacher was out in [TS]

00:21:05   the hall and he came around the corner [TS]

00:21:06   and saw me cheating they're cheating [TS]

00:21:09   scandal and he gave me an F and was and [TS]

00:21:15   he actually cried real tears like you [TS]

00:21:18   were one of my favorite students and [TS]

00:21:20   you're cheating and just I couldn't [TS]

00:21:22   believe that you would do such a thing [TS]

00:21:23   it's a betrayal of the hearts awful [TS]

00:21:26   education and and betrayal of of you [TS]

00:21:30   you're betraying yourself and all this [TS]

00:21:31   terrible stuff it was just like a real [TS]

00:21:34   burden of guilt and shame for my [TS]

00:21:37   cheating scandal which was me looking [TS]

00:21:39   for flipping through the table of [TS]

00:21:40   contents of my history book alcohol it's [TS]

00:21:43   not a waste [TS]

00:21:43   eating though right it was cheating is [TS]

00:21:45   cheating all right it was changed is [TS]

00:21:47   that your calendar and I think history [TS]

00:21:48   class but in any case am at the end of [TS]

00:21:52   the senior year I've told you this story [TS]

00:21:53   right [TS]

00:21:54   I didn't have enough credits to graduate [TS]

00:21:55   because i graduated last in my class in [TS]

00:21:59   high school you graduated last in your [TS]

00:22:01   class I was like absolutely last in my [TS]

00:22:04   class I had the idea 1.2 cumulative GPA [TS]

00:22:08   through four years of high school I i [TS]

00:22:11   was i was out on the light nice grouping [TS]

00:22:14   on the list of graduating seniors they [TS]

00:22:17   were like 25 guys 25 people who had [TS]

00:22:20   higher GPA than i did that were actually [TS]

00:22:21   held back and not allowed to graduate [TS]

00:22:24   couple that died [TS]

00:22:26   there's a horse dick they called me in [TS]

00:22:28   but the principal and the guidance [TS]

00:22:30   counselors and the teachers were they [TS]

00:22:33   they they called me down to the office [TS]

00:22:35   and they were all there and they said [TS]

00:22:38   look we talked about it and we don't [TS]

00:22:45   want you to come back so here you'll see [TS]

00:22:50   here in AP history that you you have an [TS]

00:22:53   F but we're going to award you the [TS]

00:22:56   credits and we're giving you some credit [TS]

00:23:00   for your extracurricular activities [TS]

00:23:03   kompong you know you don't anti social [TS]

00:23:06   promotion that you'll see over here in [TS]

00:23:08   column B that's saying and so [TS]

00:23:10   congratulations good luck Godspeed to [TS]

00:23:17   you got a diploma [TS]

00:23:18   oh yeah and and and the thing was that [TS]

00:23:21   the student the student body knew that I [TS]

00:23:23   didn't have enough credits to graduate [TS]

00:23:24   though the word leaked out in the month [TS]

00:23:26   up coming up to graduation and so it was [TS]

00:23:31   already a scandal it was you know buzz [TS]

00:23:35   buzz buzz you know Rogers not going to [TS]

00:23:37   graduate buzz and so right up until the [TS]

00:23:41   day of graduation it was it was still [TS]

00:23:47   that mean like it was still a a matter [TS]

00:23:50   of contention some people are saying no [TS]

00:23:52   of course he's going to graduate some [TS]

00:23:53   people were there people are betting [TS]

00:23:55   cases of beer back and forth [TS]

00:23:57   and then and then I i walked at the [TS]

00:24:01   ceremony and when they called my name it [TS]

00:24:04   was like it was he heard in the hole [TS]

00:24:06   because it's the graduations in the big [TS]

00:24:09   auditorium you know you heard them like [TS]

00:24:13   75 raspberries across the room like [TS]

00:24:16   think they're like John Roderick just [TS]

00:24:20   people all through the hall making [TS]

00:24:22   raspberries and Leslie faculty parking [TS]

00:24:26   their little air horns it was a it was [TS]

00:24:28   it was kind of rude actually but that's [TS]

00:24:34   how it played out and there's so much [TS]

00:24:37   wrong with that on every level [TS]

00:24:38   I just that is really sick yeah did they [TS]

00:24:41   let you do that and that's the way [TS]

00:24:43   that's the way that's how it goes [TS]

00:24:45   is it stopped yeah exactly i'm gonna see [TS]

00:24:48   being a real nuisance I've heard about [TS]

00:24:49   some of your customer service problems [TS]

00:24:50   in the past but even the faculty John [TS]

00:24:52   and it wasn't like they said oh you're a [TS]

00:24:54   good kid they give you a little Chuck on [TS]

00:24:56   the shoulder and say good luck at [TS]

00:24:57   Gonzaga or whatever like this is this is [TS]

00:24:59   going to be that that'sthat's really [TS]

00:25:01   that'sthat's a holocaust John they [TS]

00:25:02   should never let you graduate that's [TS]

00:25:04   ridiculous [TS]

00:25:04   ya know there was there was nothing [TS]

00:25:06   about it there was like oh you you nut [TS]

00:25:11   it was very much like don't come back [TS]

00:25:14   I I mean I completely understand and I [TS]

00:25:18   think I mean I see my position was I [TS]

00:25:20   wasn't that bad but I i see the other [TS]

00:25:23   thing was at our graduation everybody [TS]

00:25:26   went to graduation now how fucked up is [TS]

00:25:28   this this is this is very lucky in a [TS]

00:25:30   closet kind of thing you go to [TS]

00:25:32   graduation you sit there they call your [TS]

00:25:34   name you gotta go like even if you [TS]

00:25:35   failed out you still have to walk know [TS]

00:25:38   all that's cruel and if you didn't [TS]

00:25:41   because you know that would strip the [TS]

00:25:43   seating right so you can be brutal they [TS]

00:25:46   hand you a case with a blank case [TS]

00:25:49   there's no deployment and it looks like [TS]

00:25:50   you got to play over there is no [TS]

00:25:51   deployment no way but but you're but [TS]

00:25:53   people know all your friends know maybe [TS]

00:25:55   I did not know until I looked inside [TS]

00:25:58   whether i would have a diploma [TS]

00:26:00   wow I was I was right out i was right on [TS]

00:26:02   the edge for all I know is a clerical [TS]

00:26:04   error but like I said I felt two classes [TS]

00:26:06   was a senior i was i should have [TS]

00:26:08   graduated but it not somehow it happened [TS]

00:26:10   i think i was taking like geometry and [TS]

00:26:12   12th grade you know I it's a bit sad [TS]

00:26:17   that's a busted-ass system you know I [TS]

00:26:19   mr. debt listen now that that's a guy [TS]

00:26:22   who could really turn things around you [TS]

00:26:23   know San mm no I don't because I don't [TS]

00:26:27   be honest detlefsen could turn around [TS]

00:26:28   see what I i don't know i mean i don't [TS]

00:26:31   have systems broken but ok so i'm not a [TS]

00:26:34   conversation with a girl today on the [TS]

00:26:36   phone [TS]

00:26:37   wow they marked my calendar a business [TS]

00:26:39   conversation in a business capacity NPR [TS]

00:26:42   right and this girl got the Irish epr no [TS]

00:26:45   no she's in you know she's some in some [TS]

00:26:48   music business capacity let's just say I [TS]

00:26:50   and halfway through the cover you know [TS]

00:26:53   she works at an office where I have I [TS]

00:26:56   have business dealings they're in town [TS]

00:26:59   not in Seattle [TS]

00:27:01   okay and I said that to a halfway [TS]

00:27:03   through the conversation was like hey so [TS]

00:27:05   have we met before and she said my don't [TS]

00:27:09   know and I was like oh oh did I ruin [TS]

00:27:16   your life [TS]

00:27:17   that's weird um are you sure you don't [TS]

00:27:20   know I would think that you working in [TS]

00:27:24   an office that deals with musicians [TS]

00:27:25   would know if you had met me but ok [TS]

00:27:28   that's fine and so we talked a little [TS]

00:27:30   bit more we got to the end the [TS]

00:27:32   conversation I said well thank you very [TS]

00:27:33   much for your help and she said yeah and [TS]

00:27:40   then there was a long pause and I said [TS]

00:27:46   okay then bye [TS]

00:27:49   and she was like oh my and it felt like [TS]

00:27:57   I was I felt like I [TS]

00:28:00   was in I like I was in Teletubbies land [TS]

00:28:04   and I'm a and this is a we're talking [TS]

00:28:07   about real money this girl and I what [TS]

00:28:10   we're having [TS]

00:28:11   grabbing the this is like high-powered [TS]

00:28:14   business convo it isn't about agreeing [TS]

00:28:18   to do things about agreeing to do think [TS]

00:28:20   that's serious stuff [TS]

00:28:22   yeah I was giving her verbal [TS]

00:28:24   authorization for 24 to make some money [TS]

00:28:28   that's a strange way for someone on that [TS]

00:28:30   call to talk yeah and she's talking to [TS]

00:28:33   me like that to Teletubbies thing and [TS]

00:28:35   you could tell from her voice that she [TS]

00:28:36   was in her tool in her twenties but [TS]

00:28:38   potentially in her early twenties and I [TS]

00:28:40   imagine maybe that she was wearing some [TS]

00:28:42   some skin tight jeans and maybe some big [TS]

00:28:46   white sunglasses but even and end up [TS]

00:28:50   like a Palestinian scarf but even so her [TS]

00:28:56   phone her phone etiquette was so [TS]

00:28:59   off-the-charts in the wrong direction [TS]

00:29:02   bad but it made me think that the that [TS]

00:29:06   it was ultimately the fault of the [TS]

00:29:08   American schools who but more than that [TS]

00:29:11   like further evidence of this thing that [TS]

00:29:14   we're always talking about this that the [TS]

00:29:16   end times that as represented by like [TS]

00:29:21   like the the sweeping waves of fake [TS]

00:29:25   autism that we call me call youth [TS]

00:29:30   culture now [TS]

00:29:31   yeah you get a resolution to this no I [TS]

00:29:34   huh [TS]

00:29:34   I wasn't even sure that we had hung up i [TS]

00:29:36   SAT and stared at my phone for like 30 [TS]

00:29:38   seconds I was like is that we are we [TS]

00:29:42   done [TS]

00:29:42   I've had a lot of conversations with [TS]

00:29:44   people that go like that in the last [TS]

00:29:46   five years and even excluding the fact [TS]

00:29:48   that i don't like talking on the phone [TS]

00:29:50   and I talk too fast [TS]

00:29:51   I i I've often say this to people i will [TS]

00:29:53   actually sometimes say that people are [TS]

00:29:55   you checking your email right now [TS]

00:29:56   oh because I can I mean I know I talk a [TS]

00:29:59   lot it can hear that he not be taught be [TS]

00:30:02   listening em up [TS]

00:30:06   [Music] [TS]

00:30:07   uh i ah yeah um oh my ok I think I think [TS]

00:30:17   that's awesome crazy know that right [TS]

00:30:19   there ok so you like that huh did you [TS]

00:30:23   hit with a sock full of pennies like [TS]

00:30:24   what's going on little was that for a [TS]

00:30:27   long time I carried on all phone [TS]

00:30:29   conversations while playing a computer [TS]

00:30:33   silent you see how much he says it keeps [TS]

00:30:35   you in the right zone for a phone call [TS]

00:30:37   yeah yeah but then I realized that no [TS]

00:30:39   that's false i was too much of me was [TS]

00:30:41   being used up I was not actually I was [TS]

00:30:45   not actually in the phone conversation [TS]

00:30:47   as much as I needed to be [TS]

00:30:49   I cannot do it John i might as well be [TS]

00:30:51   like driving on a highway and trying to [TS]

00:30:52   chopped green peppers [TS]

00:30:53   I cannot do it's so obvious and i'll [TS]

00:30:55   actually stop and say things like and I [TS]

00:30:58   should not try to do two things at once [TS]

00:31:04   yeah I mean you know I I you know John I [TS]

00:31:07   got on with you i think it could be the [TS]

00:31:09   schools i think it every step of the way [TS]

00:31:10   this is messed up i think you are both [TS]

00:31:12   examples of white people who got to [TS]

00:31:13   graduate from high school that should [TS]

00:31:14   know i think that's ridiculous [TS]

00:31:16   yeah i mean all of my teachers were [TS]

00:31:19   really almost all really stupid some [TS]

00:31:21   more awesome my drama teacher my drama [TS]

00:31:23   teacher was amazing she was great [TS]

00:31:25   on the one hand we did we clearly did [TS]

00:31:28   not do what was asked of us who and so [TS]

00:31:32   in that sense should not have been [TS]

00:31:33   allowed to graduate from high school [TS]

00:31:34   because we did not perform the tasks but [TS]

00:31:40   on the other hand i personally I feel [TS]

00:31:44   like I never should have even gone in [TS]

00:31:45   the front doors of high school thing is [TS]

00:31:47   to say they used to say that you know [TS]

00:31:49   what separates us from the Soviets and [TS]

00:31:51   say you know the Soviets they go in and [TS]

00:31:54   buy whatever some great doesn't matter [TS]

00:31:55   i'm sure they're making it up anyway [TS]

00:31:56   they go in and they pluck you out of [TS]

00:31:58   there and give you a test and not [TS]

00:32:00   everybody gets this nice education [TS]

00:32:02   you're getting when they're 14 you would [TS]

00:32:03   be like learning how to work a lathe at [TS]

00:32:06   this Brides and I don't know if that's [TS]

00:32:07   true or not but i kinda wish i had that [TS]

00:32:09   I don't need to shoot a dog into space [TS]

00:32:11   without any contingency plan for the [TS]

00:32:13   dogs ever coming back this is why we [TS]

00:32:15   lost the Cold War was our fear shooting [TS]

00:32:17   dogs then we lose the cool [TS]

00:32:20   I you know you're the expert ya know why [TS]

00:32:22   I'm talking with you i wish the Soviet [TS]

00:32:24   system in a slightly more improved way I [TS]

00:32:26   had been there to benefit me I think [TS]

00:32:27   they should have looked for people who [TS]

00:32:28   are riding ASEAN their folder you know [TS]

00:32:31   and we're talking how to work out a [TS]

00:32:33   lathe and we're a little heavy [TS]

00:32:35   I think you're saying are you saying [TS]

00:32:36   that you'd be happier right now like [TS]

00:32:38   working a metal press somewhere I don't [TS]

00:32:40   know what kind of work does he do [TS]

00:32:42   here's the thing here's one of the got a [TS]

00:32:44   lot of people don't like there's to hit [TS]

00:32:46   about America [TS]

00:32:47   okee do you know why they give people [TS]

00:32:50   the s80 you know this [TS]

00:32:52   SATs are according to keep the black man [TS]

00:32:55   down right right i mean so hard for now [TS]

00:32:57   and just go to absolute know the reason [TS]

00:33:00   that they do it as i understand it is [TS]

00:33:02   that of all of the like like I don't [TS]

00:33:07   know like fucking chicken bones they [TS]

00:33:09   come up with to the sky decide how you [TS]

00:33:10   will be quote unquote successful in [TS]

00:33:12   college and let's be honest it's not [TS]

00:33:13   like you get out of secondary school and [TS]

00:33:14   suddenly everybody's really smart like [TS]

00:33:16   it's a whole big broken system and but [TS]

00:33:18   supposedly SATs are the single best [TS]

00:33:20   indicator of success in college I don't [TS]

00:33:22   know if that is true that's what i was [TS]

00:33:23   told at the time and that's what you [TS]

00:33:25   have to take the s80 because they can [TS]

00:33:27   look at stuff like your essay or they [TS]

00:33:28   can stuff your grades in your community [TS]

00:33:30   blonde again this is 25 years ago so i [TS]

00:33:32   don't have to still the case but that [TS]

00:33:33   was that was the thing but success in [TS]

00:33:36   college is no indication of success in [TS]

00:33:39   life [TS]

00:33:39   yeah but if you don't go to college your [TS]

00:33:42   life is going to be a lot harder so if [TS]

00:33:44   you don't do that s80 well did you [TS]

00:33:46   graduate from college [TS]

00:33:48   yeah yeah you got a college diploma uh [TS]

00:33:50   yeah how come it's not hanging [TS]

00:33:53   prominently on the wall of your living [TS]

00:33:55   room I was ready right here by my [TS]

00:33:57   divinity degree and I yea well you have [TS]

00:34:00   a degree in divinity [TS]

00:34:01   well you know I actually hate that I was [TS]

00:34:03   all made up I i do you have a diploma i [TS]

00:34:05   am a mail-order Minister like everyone I [TS]

00:34:07   know that sir but I have a friend who [TS]

00:34:10   lives near the Universal Life Church [TS]

00:34:11   there's an actual building [TS]

00:34:14   yeah the guys pickup truck is full of [TS]

00:34:16   pamphlets apparently anyhow just go down [TS]

00:34:18   there i'm a universal life barely keeps [TS]

00:34:20   a lot of money around the house stuff [TS]

00:34:21   why I up [TS]

00:34:22   well you know I never graduated from [TS]

00:34:23   college hang on i thought i thought you [TS]

00:34:27   had a master's degree i'm a college [TS]

00:34:28   dropout huh yeah [TS]

00:34:32   so you got you got you got socially yeah [TS]

00:34:35   you gotta antisocial yun socially [TS]

00:34:38   promoted out of high school and you [TS]

00:34:40   didn't graduate from to colleges [TS]

00:34:42   yeah right are you did not do a thesis i [TS]

00:34:47   have more than enough credits to [TS]

00:34:48   graduate probably easily i don't want [TS]

00:34:50   your stupid diploma fuck you you know I [TS]

00:34:52   just have never it's much more like yeah [TS]

00:34:55   I haven't filled out the paperwork to [TS]

00:34:58   graduate in London after looking to ask [TS]

00:35:01   you anything about this John it just [TS]

00:35:04   makes me feel like I still gotta hand in [TS]

00:35:06   the game you're saying you didn't fill [TS]

00:35:07   out a form and therefore after your [TS]

00:35:09   family paid all that money for you to go [TS]

00:35:11   to college you are not college graduate [TS]

00:35:13   because you didn't go to the registrar [TS]

00:35:15   one day [TS]

00:35:15   well I'm is more complicated it's a [TS]

00:35:19   little more complicated there's several [TS]

00:35:21   days I didn't but the registrar but but [TS]

00:35:24   never got much of that administrative [TS]

00:35:26   bullshit there was that in college there [TS]

00:35:27   was so much at least my school was so [TS]

00:35:30   poor state school there was a lot but i [TS]

00:35:32   had i had i lucked out and really lucked [TS]

00:35:36   out they ask you to leave [TS]

00:35:38   what are you gonna ask me to leave but [TS]

00:35:41   my first day at the University of [TS]

00:35:42   Washington to Gonzaga was on a quarter [TS]

00:35:45   system [TS]

00:35:45   I'm sorry comes and goes on a semester [TS]

00:35:47   system and the u-dub was on a quarter [TS]

00:35:50   system [TS]

00:35:51   okay right so the credits don't don't [TS]

00:35:53   all transfer it or if they don't they [TS]

00:35:55   don't transfer straight across [TS]

00:35:57   uh-huh and so that's just a tat a good [TS]

00:36:01   slashed weird school that's not unusual [TS]

00:36:04   at all my school would hardly give you [TS]

00:36:06   any credit for anything because they're [TS]

00:36:07   not even that we don't have that class [TS]

00:36:09   here just work better than all those [TS]

00:36:10   other really end up nowhere within this [TS]

00:36:12   they were just like oh you gotta who [TS]

00:36:14   from a what [TS]

00:36:15   well maybe we'll give you a quarters [TS]

00:36:16   worth of credit for that semester [TS]

00:36:18   classes he knows again intellectual [TS]

00:36:20   pawnshop [TS]

00:36:20   absolutely so I show up at the guidance [TS]

00:36:23   counselor's you know the big guidance [TS]

00:36:26   counselor office where there's wait it's [TS]

00:36:28   a waiting here it's like a it's like a [TS]

00:36:30   bus station waiting area there's 60 kids [TS]

00:36:33   waiting all who've taken a number and [TS]

00:36:36   erotic their doors on either side [TS]

00:36:39   they're probably 15 or 20 different [TS]

00:36:42   guidance counselors and it's just like [TS]

00:36:44   your number gets called [TS]

00:36:46   and you go in the door of the next [TS]

00:36:49   available guidance counselor who will in [TS]

00:36:52   the next half-hour decide decide your [TS]

00:36:56   fate in college and also your this is [TS]

00:36:58   going to be your guidance counselor for [TS]

00:37:00   the rest of your time here like this is [TS]

00:37:03   a person you're going to see over and [TS]

00:37:04   over again and i'm sitting in the lobby [TS]

00:37:07   and I'm just like a god I'd it i hate I [TS]

00:37:09   hate everything about this and and [TS]

00:37:12   because of that whole business with [TS]

00:37:13   Gonzaga where they were like what we [TS]

00:37:16   won't include your permanent record with [TS]

00:37:18   you you know if you go now we won't we [TS]

00:37:21   won't send all the disciplinary files [TS]

00:37:23   along with you I had no proof that they [TS]

00:37:25   had not done the witness protection so [TS]

00:37:28   I'm sitting in the lobby you know kind [TS]

00:37:29   of like bouncing my feet back and forth [TS]

00:37:31   just kind of like okay i hope this goes [TS]

00:37:33   well and I get called into the office of [TS]

00:37:36   this time cancer who is a a woman she's [TS]

00:37:41   about four foot eleven she has a Dorothy [TS]

00:37:47   Hamill haircut she probably weighs 96 [TS]

00:37:51   pounds and NPR Toback and she has an NPR [TS]

00:37:58   tote bag and she's this darling little [TS]

00:38:01   pixie of a lady who uh who was an [TS]

00:38:05   attorney for many years and then [TS]

00:38:07   transitioned into this role of the [TS]

00:38:10   University of Washington guidance [TS]

00:38:12   counseling I'm not sure why I never did [TS]

00:38:14   figure out why and she brought me in and [TS]

00:38:18   SAT me down in the chair and we started [TS]

00:38:20   talking [TS]

00:38:21   the conversation got very flirtatious [TS]

00:38:23   and she came around the desk and sat [TS]

00:38:28   down in the chair next to me and said [TS]

00:38:30   let's see what we can do and she went [TS]

00:38:33   through my gun sagar credits and she was [TS]

00:38:35   like oh well we don't have this but we [TS]

00:38:39   don't have this class here but here's [TS]

00:38:40   what I'm going to do we'll just call it [TS]

00:38:41   the next highest level class and we'll [TS]

00:38:45   just say that you have credit for all of [TS]

00:38:46   it [TS]

00:38:48   and she took my two years at Gonzaga and [TS]

00:38:51   she translated that into me being [TS]

00:38:55   halfway through my junior year what with [TS]

00:38:58   a major in Russian lit and a minor in [TS]

00:39:02   art to double minor in like ancient [TS]

00:39:06   greek and philosophy is going to check [TS]

00:39:10   that and I was just like tell me more [TS]

00:39:14   and then she asked me out on a date come [TS]

00:39:17   on [TS]

00:39:18   yeah this sounds like a pass forum it [TS]

00:39:20   was incredible and we went out for like [TS]

00:39:25   several months while you were [TS]

00:39:27   matriculating I was 22 [TS]

00:39:30   she was 38 and she was she held my [TS]

00:39:35   future in the palm of her hand literally [TS]

00:39:38   and literally that wasn't all she held [TS]

00:39:42   in the parliament who and she she would [TS]

00:39:46   use that sometimes to get me to do [TS]

00:39:50   things in the romance exhaling sexy pic [TS]

00:39:54   this to she would remind me of the power [TS]

00:39:58   that she had not over his future [TS]

00:40:00   it was a total may September reverse [TS]

00:40:04   sexual the the reverse of what you [TS]

00:40:09   normally think of as the sexual dynamics [TS]

00:40:11   power dynamics is she really had me not [TS]

00:40:15   exactly under her thumb but if I step [TS]

00:40:17   that allowed chi she applied sort of [TS]

00:40:21   pressure and she was a tiny little pixie [TS]

00:40:22   of a gal and but had no compunction [TS]

00:40:26   about like giving me the giving me the [TS]

00:40:29   business [TS]

00:40:30   bring me the riot act what'd she say it [TS]

00:40:32   overtly or was like wow you know [TS]

00:40:34   three-ring binders can have papers fall [TS]

00:40:36   out like well yeah exactly that type of [TS]

00:40:39   thing and one time called my mom she [TS]

00:40:41   couldn't get ahold of me [TS]

00:40:42   oh that is so creepy called my mom was [TS]

00:40:44   like this is John's guidance counselor [TS]

00:40:46   I'm concerned about his well-being [TS]

00:40:49   do you know his whereabouts that's [TS]

00:40:52   insane [TS]

00:40:53   my mom you know god bless her just smell [TS]

00:40:56   the fish richest melt smelled something [TS]

00:40:58   fishy right away she was like what [TS]

00:41:01   whoo-hoo [TS]

00:41:01   this why are you calling me here and [TS]

00:41:04   really gave her like kind of scared her [TS]

00:41:06   in the opposite direction like this is [TS]

00:41:08   highly inappropriate that type of thing [TS]

00:41:10   and she never did that again but uh but [TS]

00:41:13   yeah eventually the relationship ended [TS]

00:41:15   kind of disastrously but not before not [TS]

00:41:20   before all those papers have been filed [TS]

00:41:22   let's just say I waited until all the [TS]

00:41:24   paperwork has been filed and was stamped [TS]

00:41:27   and sent off to the to the great [TS]

00:41:30   warehouse in the sky but uh but you know [TS]

00:41:33   it was a fairly was an eye-opening [TS]

00:41:36   relationship for me as it as a young man [TS]

00:41:38   because you know you're not you don't [TS]

00:41:40   usually get into those kinds of scrapes [TS]

00:41:43   you think you're the only one [TS]

00:41:45   well I certainly was her her cause she [TS]

00:41:51   mad she might have people behind other [TS]

00:41:53   doors that year [TS]

00:41:54   well she devoted a lot of time to me i [TS]

00:41:56   did there wouldn't have been a lot of [TS]

00:41:57   extra time for free time for her to have [TS]

00:41:59   other undergraduates but um you think [TS]

00:42:04   she did a lot of mentoring over the [TS]

00:42:05   years she she certainly she certainly [TS]

00:42:07   mentored me and a you know Marilyn I [TS]

00:42:10   have to say as a young man I had a [TS]

00:42:12   tremendous charisma which he gave with [TS]

00:42:15   that unlike now now I think you would do [TS]

00:42:20   it can you categorize me as a as a [TS]

00:42:23   grotesquerie but at the time i was [TS]

00:42:26   sitting in an unflattering office [TS]

00:42:28   lighting you can really pull it off at [TS]

00:42:29   the time I you know I used to wear [TS]

00:42:31   sweaters a jauntily draped across my [TS]

00:42:35   shoulders who huh [TS]

00:42:38   I you know I was one of those guys that [TS]

00:42:39   were Levi's that had been dyed a [TS]

00:42:42   different color so they were just [TS]

00:42:44   regular Levi's they were had a purple [TS]

00:42:47   tint to yourself you're selling past the [TS]

00:42:49   clothes I don't know how she could that [TS]

00:42:51   I had a lot going on but anyway that's [TS]

00:42:54   another example that John I mean what a [TS]

00:42:55   fucking travesty that's ridiculous [TS]

00:42:57   it's it was it was another in a long [TS]

00:43:00   line of incidents or another in a long [TS]

00:43:03   line of of a of happenings where I [TS]

00:43:08   walked away saying well the next guy the [TS]

00:43:12   next guy in her office is probably going [TS]

00:43:14   to get [TS]

00:43:15   he's probably going to get his bed [TS]

00:43:18   short-sheeted because she just gave away [TS]

00:43:21   the farm to me and you know the next kid [TS]

00:43:24   that comes in is like I've got these [TS]

00:43:25   transfer credits from wazoo and she's [TS]

00:43:28   just like nope sorry [TS]

00:43:30   start over so I I have to imagine that [TS]

00:43:34   it's just it's not precisely like a [TS]

00:43:35   sales kind of position but what credits [TS]

00:43:38   they take it certainly going to affect [TS]

00:43:40   the school's bottom line on some level [TS]

00:43:42   I'm going to make this mercantil but if [TS]

00:43:44   you take a ton of credit for stuff [TS]

00:43:45   you're not only other undercutting your [TS]

00:43:47   selling short me in a almost the true [TS]

00:43:50   sense of the word you're selling short [TS]

00:43:51   your own academic credentials but you're [TS]

00:43:54   also harming revenue like she basically [TS]

00:43:56   you should have gotten shit you should [TS]

00:43:58   wait for two more years of school like a [TS]

00:44:00   man right that's great that's ridiculous [TS]

00:44:03   yeah that ought yeah it's super [TS]

00:44:06   frustrating [TS]

00:44:07   well especially especially since i [TS]

00:44:10   didn't i ended up still didn't graduate [TS]

00:44:13   yeah you don't you should do you should [TS]

00:44:15   you should look her up on facebook and [TS]

00:44:16   maybe maybe she can move a couple things [TS]

00:44:18   around while which you know probably [TS]

00:44:20   purple i do should be 55 or so [TS]

00:44:22   well let's see i was 22 then and I'm 42 [TS]

00:44:27   now so she would be 58 that's a nice [TS]

00:44:30   that's a nice time to hear the phone [TS]

00:44:31   ring when you're 58 sure remember me [TS]

00:44:36   died Levi's hey remember me [TS]

00:44:39   mhm i don't know i think we would I [TS]

00:44:40   think that if I think about the way we [TS]

00:44:43   left it I think we would pick right back [TS]

00:44:44   up where we stand outside our window [TS]

00:44:46   with a boombox up i'm sure she kept her [TS]

00:44:51   figure [TS]

00:44:52   yeah too bad you couldn't the the [TS]

00:44:55   amazing thing is that those people wield [TS]

00:44:57   so much power the registrar and I mean [TS]

00:44:59   the capital R registar school the person [TS]

00:45:01   who headed up that whole administrative [TS]

00:45:03   department looks like the girls at the [TS]

00:45:04   DMV that you know the song alcohol gets [TS]

00:45:08   the other gals the gals of the DMV is [TS]

00:45:12   actually the last time i went to the DMV [TS]

00:45:14   yeah every single person I dealt with [TS]

00:45:16   was a guy you sure absolutely positive [TS]

00:45:20   food and make them do all the work [TS]

00:45:23   there was there was there was a whole [TS]

00:45:26   string of guys but then i was getting at [TS]

00:45:29   that top-secret driver's license so what [TS]

00:45:34   you're getting at [TS]

00:45:35   no wait a minute was there more [TS]

00:45:37   favoritism for you here I got a [TS]

00:45:38   top-secret driver's license I didn't [TS]

00:45:40   tell you about this driver's license and [TS]

00:45:42   I got let's follow up on I'm gonna hear [TS]

00:45:44   but tell me about that they got driver's [TS]

00:45:46   license is now in washington state that [TS]

00:45:47   function as like set as a like junior [TS]

00:45:53   varsity passports so you can cross over [TS]

00:45:57   land any over land border into America [TS]

00:45:59   from Canada or Mexico plus any arrival [TS]

00:46:04   in America from a ship if you're on [TS]

00:46:06   board a ship this sounds so made up [TS]

00:46:10   no no Andy state government is allowed [TS]

00:46:12   to give you federal clearance [TS]

00:46:14   yeah you can use this driver's license [TS]

00:46:16   now the game is not that is not real if [TS]

00:46:19   you arrive if you arrive either by land [TS]

00:46:22   or by sea it sounds like something you'd [TS]

00:46:24   buy on like a sheet of like like scored [TS]

00:46:26   Avery sheets like a cheap business cards [TS]

00:46:28   come up but just that sounds ridiculous [TS]

00:46:30   it's a real thing and it's good that my [TS]

00:46:32   the driver's license is embedded with [TS]

00:46:34   all those biometric information and [TS]

00:46:37   let's not forget setting but that's what [TS]

00:46:39   he said and they make me carry it in a [TS]

00:46:41   in a tin foil chief so that people can't [TS]

00:46:45   scan it when I walked through public [TS]

00:46:48   places [TS]

00:46:49   also it's got a Darth Vader like this [TS]

00:46:50   letter heart-rending are fit on it and [TS]

00:46:53   they're like no you gotta carry in this [TS]

00:46:54   to file tin foil wallet small wallet now [TS]

00:46:57   catch I really sincerely hope this is [TS]

00:47:00   true and washington state is I think the [TS]

00:47:02   first state or the only state that has [TS]

00:47:04   the special advanced driver's license [TS]

00:47:06   and it was a real watershed moment for [TS]

00:47:08   me as a citizen because for many years I [TS]

00:47:11   didn't have any government ID at all and [TS]

00:47:14   I i issued citizenship know you're born [TS]

00:47:19   in the United States and then because I [TS]

00:47:21   because I did not want to be complicit [TS]

00:47:22   in all the and all the master nations of [TS]

00:47:27   citizenship I don't shoot frustrating it [TS]

00:47:29   makes what makes you frustrating is is [TS]

00:47:31   not only that you get off easy on this [TS]

00:47:33   stuff but you do it by a fucking [TS]

00:47:35   avoiding paperwork like everybody hates [TS]

00:47:37   paperwork but somehow you've managed to [TS]

00:47:39   come up cobble together this little [TS]

00:47:40   broken lifestyle of yours [TS]

00:47:42   based on talking to ladies on the phone [TS]

00:47:43   and getting favors from people with [TS]

00:47:45   pixie cuts i have no idea this is [TS]

00:47:47   everything you're describing is [TS]

00:47:48   completely inscrutable you get a special [TS]

00:47:50   license in attend sheath fucking [TS]

00:47:53   Washington really like before you sing [TS]

00:47:55   before Virginia gets that [TS]

00:47:57   yeah you tell me Washington gets that [TS]

00:47:58   yeah there's any state if there's any [TS]

00:48:00   state just two states that you get that [TS]

00:48:02   Maryland and Virginia that would make [TS]

00:48:04   sense because I know what's that [TS]

00:48:06   senators yeah we don't we don't let them [TS]

00:48:09   have them but Washington is way ahead is [TS]

00:48:13   because the number of crossings in [TS]

00:48:15   canada and the boat stuff we have a lot [TS]

00:48:16   of crossing so we have a lot of boats at [TS]

00:48:18   crossings but also we're just were more [TS]

00:48:20   forward thinkers here so I went and I [TS]

00:48:23   got this thing but they make you they [TS]

00:48:25   make you go through all this extra extra [TS]

00:48:28   blue because it's a because it's this [TS]

00:48:31   official document because you have [TS]

00:48:32   screen screening and stuff they screen [TS]

00:48:34   you yeah yeah that yeah yeah yeah just [TS]

00:48:38   doesn't make any sense because i kept so [TS]

00:48:40   I kept everything because I didn't have [TS]

00:48:42   an ID for so many years I used to get I [TS]

00:48:45   just get picked up by the cops and they [TS]

00:48:46   would they'd find out i had no idea and [TS]

00:48:49   half the time they just chase me just [TS]

00:48:51   let me loose but in any case in any case [TS]

00:48:55   so I'm something I'm gonna find out how [TS]

00:48:57   much this is true it's gonna be so sad [TS]

00:49:00   I've been this line and they're scanning [TS]

00:49:02   my eyes and they're taking these [TS]

00:49:04   three-dimensional photos and they're [TS]

00:49:05   saying like all now we're going to be [TS]

00:49:07   able to the machines in airports are [TS]

00:49:10   gonna be able to identify you by your [TS]

00:49:12   you know by your biometric ality and I [TS]

00:49:15   was standing there thinking like kind of [TS]

00:49:17   going through all this stuff that I used [TS]

00:49:19   to think was all big brother [TS]

00:49:22   One World new world order you know like [TS]

00:49:26   alien Overlord george bush / nice [TS]

00:49:32   chillin the Trilateral Commission [TS]

00:49:35   internationalist kind of stuff stuff [TS]

00:49:38   that you only believe if you're smoking [TS]

00:49:40   a lot of pot for not sleeping and the [TS]

00:49:42   orb oh and I and here i am voluntarily [TS]

00:49:46   submitted to all this new world order [TS]

00:49:48   type of the type of extra [TS]

00:49:52   extra data gathering and I just didn't [TS]

00:49:56   mind it at all I just shrugged it off [TS]

00:49:57   and I said that's right i'm not some i'm [TS]

00:50:01   not some you know the retreat in taxi [TS]

00:50:04   driver i'm a i'm a superspy i'm not a [TS]

00:50:10   super spot but there's just so much [TS]

00:50:14   wrong with that [TS]

00:50:15   I you know and I so so maybe the [TS]

00:50:18   administrative first thing about [TS]

00:50:19   everything we're describing it all [TS]

00:50:20   involves some kind of intervention or [TS]

00:50:22   ignorance or other stuff mostly [TS]

00:50:25   intervention in ignorance on behalf of [TS]

00:50:26   someone who's basically a bureaucrat [TS]

00:50:28   think about all those things where you [TS]

00:50:30   have no business being cleared for [TS]

00:50:32   anything that doesn't make a lick of [TS]

00:50:33   sense [TS]

00:50:34   I don't know how you got a loan that [TS]

00:50:35   doesn't make any sense I just an evening [TS]

00:50:36   of sitting around with you would tell [TS]

00:50:38   somebody that you are not qualified to [TS]

00:50:40   to have the keys to anything that's the [TS]

00:50:42   terrible i dunno my credit scores it's [TS]

00:50:44   like 840 is that good I think so [TS]

00:50:47   ok but it's weird I mean it's so we have [TS]

00:50:51   the registrar school there's a librarian [TS]

00:50:53   the librarian was also the person a new [TS]

00:50:54   college was the person who also [TS]

00:50:56   inspected your physical thesis to decide [TS]

00:51:00   whether is it affected your physical [TS]

00:51:02   thesis [TS]

00:51:04   yes speculum worse worse because you had [TS]

00:51:08   to turn into copies of your thesis right [TS]

00:51:10   it could be there is the version that [TS]

00:51:12   had been cleared by your committee and [TS]

00:51:14   your sponsor after baccalaureate but [TS]

00:51:16   you're done right good to go and make [TS]

00:51:18   two copies of itself via Jenkins is out [TS]

00:51:20   the injections remember her name [TS]

00:51:22   oh I'll never fucking forget her name I [TS]

00:51:25   never forget the name of any [TS]

00:51:26   administrator who crosses me that all [TS]

00:51:27   right here a few drunken of the Jenkins [TS]

00:51:30   bigley and and so-and-so since she would [TS]

00:51:33   inspect it every single graduate that [TS]

00:51:36   wasn't me there's like I think slick [TS]

00:51:38   some like 60 people in my graduating [TS]

00:51:40   class hundred people and different you [TS]

00:51:42   mean she would sit there with a ruler to [TS]

00:51:45   measure the margins because one of those [TS]

00:51:48   copies was bound and and put in you know [TS]

00:51:50   they keep a thesis on file looks like [TS]

00:51:52   but I want to try to get at is the [TS]

00:51:54   administrator bureaucrat that worked for [TS]

00:51:56   the parent University of my 500-person [TS]

00:51:59   school was in a position to decide who [TS]

00:52:01   was going to graduate from the Florida [TS]

00:52:03   honors college based on her little [TS]

00:52:05   drugstore [TS]

00:52:06   ruler so if you didn't do anything wrong [TS]

00:52:08   do anything wrong if you were like an [TS]

00:52:10   eighth of an inch or 16th of an inch [TS]

00:52:12   over on this one-page letter printed a [TS]

00:52:14   little bit that you get out of the [TS]

00:52:15   drawer over and start over and start [TS]

00:52:16   over [TS]

00:52:17   now luckily now and I was just coming up [TS]

00:52:19   in the age of the computer so this was [TS]

00:52:21   most of us were I mean I brought my mac [TS]

00:52:23   everybody did but I mean the five hours [TS]

00:52:26   before was all typewritten on a selected [TS]

00:52:28   well you know dr. Bates she said that if [TS]

00:52:31   you had more than actually know the [TS]

00:52:34   thesis guidelines were if you had more [TS]

00:52:36   than three erasers or corrections on a [TS]

00:52:38   page you had to retype it and so take [TS]

00:52:40   the bait if you took databases class [TS]

00:52:42   like three years before i had arrived [TS]

00:52:44   there you would have she would make you [TS]

00:52:45   redo the whole paper if she made a [TS]

00:52:47   correction on it you have to turn it [TS]

00:52:48   back in this is so in like the early [TS]

00:52:50   eighties people had to retype 20 page [TS]

00:52:52   papers [TS]

00:52:53   rawr seriously that's about 25 page that [TS]

00:52:55   runs into serious dough but it's just [TS]

00:52:57   like he's all trying to say is this john [TS]

00:52:58   whether it is your testicle this man at [TS]

00:53:01   the DMV whether it is the idiot is scan [TS]

00:53:04   your eyes and gave you the clear pass [TS]

00:53:05   you know whether it is [TS]

00:53:07   yeah the this whole like family so [TS]

00:53:10   broken people who let you leave the [TS]

00:53:12   building at all in high school and in [TS]

00:53:14   these people who are who are letting you [TS]

00:53:16   throw in the script these are all [TS]

00:53:17   bureaucrats and administrators the [TS]

00:53:20   person decides to pull out a line the [TS]

00:53:21   TSA person bureaucrats bureaucrats all [TS]

00:53:23   bureaucrats isn't it insane how much you [TS]

00:53:26   got brakes [TS]

00:53:28   well I still want a bureaucrat decided [TS]

00:53:30   or however you could be thwarted you can [TS]

00:53:31   be thwarted at any time by a bureaucrat [TS]

00:53:33   interrupting your anti bureaucratic [TS]

00:53:35   rains I hurt your anti bureaucratic and [TS]

00:53:37   get some water if you if you ever travel [TS]

00:53:40   to any of the former Eastern Bloc [TS]

00:53:43   countries but particularly the ones in [TS]

00:53:47   the sort of belarus ukraine bulgaria [TS]

00:53:52   romania orbit you and and let's be [TS]

00:53:57   honest idea when you will very very [TS]

00:54:00   quickly and I an exempt Poland and the [TS]

00:54:03   Czech Republic from typical this all [TS]

00:54:05   those hope slovakia i think is in this [TS]

00:54:07   category hungary not i don't have a [TS]

00:54:10   single acquaintance male female or [TS]

00:54:12   otherwise who like saying the name of [TS]

00:54:14   Eastern Bloc countries the way that you [TS]

00:54:15   do but in any case if it's a satellite [TS]

00:54:18   country John's going to mention [TS]

00:54:19   remaining I don't have any friends ever [TS]

00:54:22   said the word romania except for you [TS]

00:54:24   well remaining is a wonderful place let [TS]

00:54:27   me highly recommended except for this [TS]

00:54:29   one thing which is that the [TS]

00:54:31   bureaucracies in those countries have [TS]

00:54:34   completely broken down and when you when [TS]

00:54:37   you travel to places like that and you [TS]

00:54:39   see what it is like when people are [TS]

00:54:41   living in a you know in a world without [TS]

00:54:43   bureaucracies who you realize the [TS]

00:54:45   bureaucracies are what separate us from [TS]

00:54:47   the beasts that that in in these places [TS]

00:54:51   where where a car either corruption is [TS]

00:54:54   rampant who or where the system is [TS]

00:54:57   broken down totally and it's just a sort [TS]

00:55:00   of it he is years cultures go-go's [TS]

00:55:03   Farrell he realized that oh my god the [TS]

00:55:07   recourse to the law that bureaucracies [TS]

00:55:10   allow us that we can avail ourselves of [TS]

00:55:14   these multiple layers of even if you [TS]

00:55:17   have to fill out a thousand forms just [TS]

00:55:19   the fact that you'd that the form is [TS]

00:55:22   there and that at a certain point you [TS]

00:55:25   have some hope that someone will read [TS]

00:55:27   the forum and feel obligated by their [TS]

00:55:29   job to take the form seriously to [TS]

00:55:33   consider your problem [TS]

00:55:36   it is such a gift you will have to bribe [TS]

00:55:39   bribe your alderman to go and find out [TS]

00:55:41   which person probably lost it right or [TS]

00:55:43   you don't have to bribe the you don't [TS]

00:55:44   have to bribe the people to pick up your [TS]

00:55:46   garbage you don't you mean there are [TS]

00:55:48   places in the Eastern Bloc is full of [TS]

00:55:50   this where you're walking down the [TS]

00:55:51   street and you like everywhere isn't [TS]

00:55:52   true in like a in the Central America [TS]

00:55:55   and Mexico anything like some places it [TS]

00:55:57   varies it varies but it's particularly [TS]

00:55:59   it's particularly noticeable in these [TS]

00:56:01   places because there used to be such a [TS]

00:56:03   tremendous bureaucracy people relied on [TS]

00:56:06   the bureaucracy for everything and then [TS]

00:56:08   the bureaucracy went away and people [TS]

00:56:11   don't have the self reliance or they [TS]

00:56:14   don't have the they're not they don't [TS]

00:56:16   have been they did there isn't a sense [TS]

00:56:19   of like well if I sweep in front of my [TS]

00:56:21   store and the guy next to me sweeps in [TS]

00:56:24   front of his store then we have at least [TS]

00:56:27   a clean sidewalk for the for the front [TS]

00:56:30   of these two stores and that'll help [TS]

00:56:33   business people will come our customers [TS]

00:56:36   will come in the sidewalks will be swept [TS]

00:56:37   you know the in these places where that [TS]

00:56:40   mentality that the word bureaucracies [TS]

00:56:43   took care of all of that for four [TS]

00:56:44   decades and then went away [TS]

00:56:47   there's just a sense of like the the [TS]

00:56:48   future sense of futility pervades the [TS]

00:56:52   whole culture so it's you get these [TS]

00:56:54   people they're like well why should I [TS]

00:56:55   sweep in front of my store [TS]

00:56:56   what good will it do like when you start [TS]

00:56:59   sweeping in front of your store maybe [TS]

00:57:00   the guy next to you will sweep in front [TS]

00:57:01   of his door and they they look at you [TS]

00:57:03   like you're crazy and go well no if I [TS]

00:57:05   sweep in front of my store that i'm a [TS]

00:57:07   sucker now the guy next to me is just [TS]

00:57:09   going to sweep his garbage over here you [TS]

00:57:11   see you see missing manhole covers [TS]

00:57:13   throughout that area and you know it in [TS]

00:57:16   Central America or whatever you know a [TS]

00:57:18   lot of a lot of the rural areas you know [TS]

00:57:21   they don't have that they aren't built [TS]

00:57:24   to the same sort of urban standard that [TS]

00:57:28   you'll find in Kiev but we walk down the [TS]

00:57:31   street and all the manhole covers are [TS]

00:57:33   missing you like what happened this is [TS]

00:57:34   incredibly dangerous like you can fall [TS]

00:57:37   into one of these and and get hurt [TS]

00:57:39   well yeah but the but the the the [TS]

00:57:42   manhole cover itself was worth a certain [TS]

00:57:45   amount of scrap metal and somebody just [TS]

00:57:49   grabbed it and there wasn't anybody to [TS]

00:57:51   replace it and so you just got open [TS]

00:57:54   manhole covers all over the place like [TS]

00:57:57   talk about really having to watch where [TS]

00:57:59   you walk and it's because whoever's job [TS]

00:58:02   it is up the up the line at the Ministry [TS]

00:58:04   of missing manhole covers that person [TS]

00:58:07   doesn't feel like there's no penalty [TS]

00:58:10   when he doesn't go out and replace them [TS]

00:58:13   because there's no form to fill out to [TS]

00:58:16   say the manhole cover in front of my [TS]

00:58:18   store is missing line and then the the [TS]

00:58:20   guy it is theoretically if this exists [TS]

00:58:23   if there's a bureau of manhole cover [TS]

00:58:25   replacement comes out here budget comes [TS]

00:58:27   out of his budget [TS]

00:58:28   he's got a process the form that you [TS]

00:58:30   know 332 stroke dear whatever and [TS]

00:58:33   replacing Malcolm that's gonna come out [TS]

00:58:34   his budget he might be selling those [TS]

00:58:36   himself for the melt value absolutely so [TS]

00:58:39   so uh it's not very much [TS]

00:58:43   you don't spend very much time in places [TS]

00:58:44   where the bureaucracy doesn't work [TS]

00:58:47   to come back here and thank God for that [TS]

00:58:49   stack of forms but more than the stack [TS]

00:58:51   of forms thank God for the for the [TS]

00:58:54   moment the many levels of administration [TS]

00:58:57   that always are almost always end [TS]

00:59:02   somewhere where there is accountability [TS]

00:59:03   ultimately there's a person whose job [TS]

00:59:07   really is at stake [TS]

00:59:09   who will hold everyone else accountable [TS]

00:59:12   so that the people don't just take your [TS]

00:59:14   form and say that's nice and they like [TS]

00:59:17   their cigar with it [TS]

00:59:18   yeah now they're ultimately even if it's [TS]

00:59:23   your Congressman yeah ultimately you can [TS]

00:59:26   ready reach your Congressman John it's I [TS]

00:59:28   mean it's yes it's that is certainly [TS]

00:59:30   better i would just like to say that for [TS]

00:59:31   somebody who didn't graduate from [TS]

00:59:32   college you are an extremely articulate [TS]

00:59:34   apologist for for bureaucracy but [TS]

00:59:36   believe ticket to the congressman like [TS]

00:59:38   you gotta be you gotta know if you you [TS]

00:59:40   gotta be like John rather he got no Ted [TS]

00:59:42   Stevens well I don't you just walked in [TS]

00:59:43   there and go we want a new manhole cover [TS]

00:59:45   you don't want you don't waltz into a [TS]

00:59:47   congressman's office absolutely not you [TS]

00:59:48   say I demand satisfaction brought in [TS]

00:59:51   there but know what I mean if you are a [TS]

00:59:53   dedicated letter-writer you can [TS]

00:59:55   accomplish a lot in the world [TS]

00:59:57   what what what people like us [TS]

00:59:57   what what what people like us [TS]

01:00:00   don't want to go to the to the Father [TS]

01:00:02   who we are often we often feel for [TS]

01:00:05   dinner frustrated and people that don't [TS]

01:00:07   have the education to know or to be able [TS]

01:00:10   to compose a letter or toward to know [TS]

01:00:13   that that is possible they also are [TS]

01:00:16   kinda disadvantage but this is over [TS]

01:00:18   helps to be like your sister [TS]

01:00:20   old people are like your sister is great [TS]

01:00:22   customer service in the sense that they [TS]

01:00:24   have nothing better to do and and done [TS]

01:00:26   that she's like this necessarily but [TS]

01:00:28   they will grind you down and they will [TS]

01:00:30   they will follow up on the phone call [TS]

01:00:32   they will stay on hold they can do their [TS]

01:00:34   they could do watch their stories while [TS]

01:00:36   they're on hold not to talk about the [TS]

01:00:37   Tea Party is this is why they have been [TS]

01:00:40   so tremendously successful they don't [TS]

01:00:42   represent a majority of Americans but [TS]

01:00:44   they are made up entirely of people that [TS]

01:00:46   are willing to write 1,000 letters to [TS]

01:00:50   their congressmen and their local [TS]

01:00:53   alderman these are the people that are [TS]

01:00:54   willing to learn Robert's Rules of Order [TS]

01:00:57   and disrupt town meetings and ultimately [TS]

01:01:01   the reason that they have power is that [TS]

01:01:04   in America there is a process by which [TS]

01:01:06   the elected office holders are [TS]

01:01:09   accountable the bureaucrats are [TS]

01:01:11   accountable the system actually for all [TS]

01:01:14   of its for all of its waste is [TS]

01:01:17   incredibly effective relative to like [TS]

01:01:23   almost anywhere else in the so glad you [TS]

01:01:26   don't know my phone number because you [TS]

01:01:27   would be texting me i would just say you [TS]

01:01:30   know what I'm done here because you're [TS]

01:01:31   wrong i'm done here [TS]

01:01:32   well you're not completely wrong but [TS]

01:01:34   like so many things that's the problem [TS]

01:01:35   is that you're at your most wrong [TS]

01:01:37   there's so many things where you can [TS]

01:01:38   truly help people i know what you think [TS]

01:01:40   you taught me this might mean you taught [TS]

01:01:42   me this it sounds like something you [TS]

01:01:43   would say well what kind of thing you [TS]

01:01:45   are well that are that when you go [TS]

01:01:48   somewhere you learn a lot about what [TS]

01:01:52   made the city beat built yeah right [TS]

01:01:55   somewhere else i think you said this and [TS]

01:01:56   other mountains are the water like oh [TS]

01:01:58   it's because of the railroad that's why [TS]

01:01:59   this town exists or like so now I've [TS]

01:02:01   learned that anytime something is near [TS]

01:02:02   water there's probably a pretty good [TS]

01:02:04   chance that they decided to you know put [TS]

01:02:07   the steaks down there because that would [TS]

01:02:09   be a good place and where they stayed [TS]

01:02:10   there was that would be a good place for [TS]

01:02:12   trips to come into or something like [TS]

01:02:14   that right is that none of that was [TS]

01:02:16   probably you right that's and that is a [TS]

01:02:18   theory that are not a theory that is a [TS]

01:02:19   principle that I use all the time it's [TS]

01:02:23   you know once you learn that about what [TS]

01:02:25   you ve you take that it is blown my [TS]

01:02:27   curiosity up and I have to be honest [TS]

01:02:28   with you it is totally changed [TS]

01:02:30   everything they never taught me and my [TS]

01:02:31   stupid high school that one paragraph [TS]

01:02:33   has made asking questions about things [TS]

01:02:35   so much more interesting to me and what [TS]

01:02:37   i recommend to people is that it if they [TS]

01:02:39   if you start with your city and you look [TS]

01:02:42   at your city in the context of of the [TS]

01:02:45   geography and the way the city interacts [TS]

01:02:49   with the with the whatever waterway it [TS]

01:02:51   is that is the main waterway where the [TS]

01:02:54   railroads come in where the you know [TS]

01:02:56   where the natural resources and the well [TS]

01:02:59   I mean in our communication services guy [TS]

01:03:01   has a million this could be where they [TS]

01:03:02   built the chips like what you know what [TS]

01:03:04   I mean like where is not just that where [TS]

01:03:05   the ship's came in but in our case you [TS]

01:03:07   know when they blew all the Japanese [TS]

01:03:09   people out of what was called in [TS]

01:03:10   japantown they moved in all the [TS]

01:03:12   african-american folks to work in the [TS]

01:03:14   shipbuilding factories they just they [TS]

01:03:16   just basically took stuff out of [TS]

01:03:17   people's houses and move factory workers [TS]

01:03:19   in there and they had a really nice [TS]

01:03:20   lucrative lifestyle for a few years and [TS]

01:03:22   then it became basically get out [TS]

01:03:24   it's this is how you learn about a town [TS]

01:03:25   it's the fuck you at one o'clock in the [TS]

01:03:28   morning if you go if you go down to [TS]

01:03:31   where they take the containers off the [TS]

01:03:32   ship and put them on the trucks and you [TS]

01:03:34   watch the trucks head out into the night [TS]

01:03:37   you and you imagine what's on those [TS]

01:03:39   containers and used you start to see the [TS]

01:03:43   way that's San Francisco for instance [TS]

01:03:45   the role in San Francisco plays in the [TS]

01:03:47   in a life of the nation you know that [TS]

01:03:51   that San Francisco is really an organ [TS]

01:03:54   that is pumping pumping pumping [TS]

01:03:57   out into the out into the rest of the [TS]

01:04:00   country over and that at that you know [TS]

01:04:04   that it's really a robust system but [TS]

01:04:07   also very fragile system you know any [TS]

01:04:09   one of those little aspects can fall [TS]

01:04:13   apart and this is why when you listen to [TS]

01:04:15   truck drivers complain about fuel costs [TS]

01:04:18   you know you can you can strike is very [TS]

01:04:21   boring truck right Boyle buddy peak oil [TS]

01:04:24   truck drivers complaining about fuel [TS]

01:04:26   costs [TS]

01:04:26   those guys are right at the you know [TS]

01:04:29   that look up by councillor in the peak [TS]

01:04:31   oil I can't even look at me upset i [TS]

01:04:32   don't want to look up counselor [TS]

01:04:33   counselor counselor want to look up [TS]

01:04:36   counselor customizable and no one's left [TS]

01:04:38   on such a little over the top but I'm [TS]

01:04:39   just saying it's if we have gotten close [TS]

01:04:41   to getting most of the oil out there's [TS]

01:04:43   not gonna be a walmart but listen I'm if [TS]

01:04:45   you don't want to talk about tea party [TS]

01:04:46   i'm not going to talk about people you [TS]

01:04:47   understand that everything in that [TS]

01:04:49   walmart is made out of plastic that is [TS]

01:04:52   because of cheap oil it was brought [TS]

01:04:53   there because of trucks that are running [TS]

01:04:55   cheap oil but most importantly they came [TS]

01:04:57   from China on a giant asked ship that [TS]

01:05:02   was running cheap oil even before that [TS]

01:05:04   even before that stupid try even leave [TS]

01:05:07   China out of it i mean just just for [TS]

01:05:09   practice chop a tree down and turn it [TS]

01:05:12   into boards have moved the boards and [TS]

01:05:14   build a house your you got there is a [TS]

01:05:17   half a dozen different people in between [TS]

01:05:19   the yeah but you get your price for the [TS]

01:05:21   wood if you know what I mean I'm saying [TS]

01:05:22   that if I work with Walmart will you bet [TS]

01:05:24   you will [TS]

01:05:25   and if you work with Walmart you know [TS]

01:05:27   you can go read lots of liberal [TS]

01:05:28   magazines about this your prices have to [TS]

01:05:30   go down every year when you work with [TS]

01:05:31   one more [TS]

01:05:32   you can't afford to be there you let you [TS]

01:05:34   know this mystery has been true for [TS]

01:05:36   snapper it was true for Vlasic is true [TS]

01:05:38   that Levi's snapper used to be the [TS]

01:05:40   premium brand of lon Moore that you [TS]

01:05:42   could buy they decided not to go to [TS]

01:05:44   walmart because walmart makes you create [TS]

01:05:46   an entire product line just for them so [TS]

01:05:48   when Levi's went into walmart they [TS]

01:05:50   couldn't repurpose any of their existing [TS]

01:05:52   product lines they had to create new [TS]

01:05:54   product lines just for you sign up [TS]

01:05:56   alas no matter walmart oh no but here's [TS]

01:05:58   the thing plastic glass expected 20 [TS]

01:06:00   years trying to like get you to [TS]

01:06:01   understand that if you buy these premium [TS]

01:06:03   pickles in the fucking refrigerator [TS]

01:06:04   section it's worth paying more because [TS]

01:06:06   it's really good [TS]

01:06:07   you people use a very crisp it's got a [TS]

01:06:09   fucking stork you now go to an end cap [TS]

01:06:11   and you can get like a 5-gallon bucket [TS]

01:06:14   of fucking pickles for 20 seconds [TS]

01:06:16   let me tell you my experience I've only [TS]

01:06:17   been in Shu loyal John cheap oil i went [TS]

01:06:21   to a walmart in Florida one time [TS]

01:06:23   me too it's a 24 hour walmart and that's [TS]

01:06:26   three o'clock in the morning was full of [TS]

01:06:27   family shopping kids [TS]

01:06:29   yep a lot of lot of women with five kids [TS]

01:06:31   that's when they get off work I I ran [TS]

01:06:33   out of that walmart screaming but the [TS]

01:06:35   second time I went to a warmonger was on [TS]

01:06:36   my birthday was in like new mexico and [TS]

01:06:40   I'm walking through the walking through [TS]

01:06:42   the walmart I'm just taking it all in [TS]

01:06:44   and there is a poster in there like I [TS]

01:06:52   you know I admittedly it was in their [TS]

01:06:53   kids section proposed four walls poster [TS]

01:06:57   of tinkerbell the beloved disney [TS]

01:07:01   character the disagreeable little minx [TS]

01:07:05   tinkerbell in this poster of tinkerbell [TS]

01:07:10   she's she's flying because she's a [TS]

01:07:13   sprite but she's looking over her [TS]

01:07:16   shoulder at you and she's got her little [TS]

01:07:19   took us pointed at you and the way her [TS]

01:07:24   little feathered skirt is arranged you [TS]

01:07:28   can kind of it's like you're looking up [TS]

01:07:31   the back of her skirt and her little [TS]

01:07:33   pixie if it's very apps Kurt a little [TS]

01:07:36   fairy upskirt shot God and I find that [TS]

01:07:39   so hot that is so fucked up if you look [TS]

01:07:41   at Tinker Bell's face you see that she's [TS]

01:07:46   got a kind of you know she's blonde [TS]

01:07:48   right because because why not [TS]

01:07:51   but she's got a very long nose she's got [TS]

01:07:54   a very she's very Judaic looking little [TS]

01:07:58   pixie when you look at her closely [TS]

01:08:00   she looks like a blonde friend drescher [TS]

01:08:03   she's a she's a kind of jewy little [TS]

01:08:07   pixie and she's got this big-ass that [TS]

01:08:10   she's like pushing out if she's not [TS]

01:08:12   Italian like northern Italian well I [TS]

01:08:15   mean there's some wiggle room there [TS]

01:08:17   northern plains but she's also got junk [TS]

01:08:18   in the trunk she might she might get [TS]

01:08:20   from the trunk [TS]

01:08:21   I'm feeling though just get given like [TS]

01:08:23   the proclivities of of the Hollywood [TS]

01:08:26   animators of that era [TS]

01:08:28   I'm thinking she's a Jewess I'm thinking [TS]

01:08:30   she's an Ashkenazi in Europe little [TS]

01:08:33   little little little flying bug and this [TS]

01:08:37   post her [TS]

01:08:38   is it like a dollar ninety-nine this [TS]

01:08:42   fantastic piece of art and I was my [TS]

01:08:47   birthday i bought it for myself and I [TS]

01:08:51   carried it around on this tour I put on [TS]

01:08:54   the dashboard man up and everybody in [TS]

01:08:57   the band was like what's that I was like [TS]

01:08:59   don't touch that don't look at I never [TS]

01:09:02   told me that daddy's Judith's I never [TS]

01:09:04   told my mother was I just drove around [TS]

01:09:06   on the rest of the tour with this thing [TS]

01:09:08   on the dashboard I got home and and i [TS]

01:09:11   put it up on the wall and although all [TS]

01:09:15   the women that come over to the house [TS]

01:09:16   they're all are you looking at it just [TS]

01:09:20   now what you're describing it but no no [TS]

01:09:22   i haven't memorized haha [TS]

01:09:25   [Music] [TS]