Roderick on the Line

Ep. 15: "Covered in Sauce"


00:00:00   hello [TS]

00:00:06   I John how are you hi Merlin how's every [TS]

00:00:10   little thing [TS]

00:00:11   oh well that's it you just described it [TS]

00:00:16   it's just a bunch of little things it's [TS]

00:00:20   all little things now [TS]

00:00:21   whoo yeah I don't have I don't have any [TS]

00:00:24   big things left eye [TS]

00:00:26   I can't believe that you said those [TS]

00:00:27   words get there i just wrote some things [TS]

00:00:30   down a card and I'm not gonna tell you [TS]

00:00:31   any of them because they're all little [TS]

00:00:33   things and I either selling an eighties [TS]

00:00:35   comic or a bomb back haha I you [TS]

00:00:40   you do remind me of Burma baumbach yeah [TS]

00:00:42   with the cancer and other people that's [TS]

00:00:44   funny is no knowing that you know past I [TS]

00:00:47   think but d um you know I tried to [TS]

00:00:50   prepare for anything too much I've [TS]

00:00:52   learned in life as you know john that [TS]

00:00:54   you know just listen to the other person [TS]

00:00:55   it's really how i learned haha just [TS]

00:00:57   saying yes you just like you just say [TS]

00:00:59   yes you never said no I'm not to say [TS]

00:01:03   know where you I little things little [TS]

00:01:09   mix yeah i know i don't hate all these [TS]

00:01:10   don't be sorry I put a foot on the [TS]

00:01:12   internet earlier today of my archive of [TS]

00:01:14   our cars have shown you this no-nonsense [TS]

00:01:17   link i think i did a quick count i did [TS]

00:01:19   that damn thing where you take half and [TS]

00:01:22   half of that you know you can multiply [TS]

00:01:23   you know if you take a three-by-five [TS]

00:01:26   cards and folded in half when you fold [TS]

00:01:27   it in half again who and then you fold [TS]

00:01:29   it in half again [TS]

00:01:30   who was that called and then you fold it [TS]

00:01:32   in half again who write that down [TS]

00:01:34   that was wrongly card folding seven ways [TS]

00:01:36   to get the 17 times right yeah there's [TS]

00:01:37   only so many times you can fold it [TS]

00:01:39   before you I heard the Mythbusters guys [TS]

00:01:40   did that but they put a can to [TS]

00:01:42   somebody's house and they did it card [TS]

00:01:43   folding it put a line through a bowling [TS]

00:01:46   ball through somebody hear about that [TS]

00:01:47   you hear about that who didn't hear [TS]

00:01:49   about that [TS]

00:01:50   yeah it was it was that I mean I [TS]

00:01:52   probably there were three or four wars [TS]

00:01:54   going on around the world like little [TS]

00:01:57   little people are being burned alive [TS]

00:01:59   with flamethrowers in their huts but I [TS]

00:02:02   heard about the Mythbusters bowling ball [TS]

00:02:04   all day that day that bowling ball can't [TS]

00:02:06   his cannon ball right [TS]

00:02:07   I don't know what happened Ireland where [TS]

00:02:09   did it happen I thought it happened in [TS]

00:02:11   San Francisco where all things happen [TS]

00:02:13   no I thought I don't think II i dont [TS]

00:02:15   think shes sweet who they were in [TS]

00:02:17   Ireland you think you're just saying [TS]

00:02:18   that because he has red hair [TS]

00:02:20   no you're like oh it was in Ireland r2d2 [TS]

00:02:22   I you be funny thing i don't know i [TS]

00:02:26   don't know why when i first heard that [TS]

00:02:27   story for some reason I thought it was [TS]

00:02:29   somewhere in like a green green and [TS]

00:02:32   lonely part of the UK but I don't think [TS]

00:02:33   it was like Michigan where did happen [TS]

00:02:35   michigan is the Ireland of the Upper [TS]

00:02:38   Midwest mhm yeah that was even used to [TS]

00:02:41   say I'm sure that he passed also [TS]

00:02:44   definitely pass you love those [TS]

00:02:45   sandwiches but now you've got everything [TS]

00:02:47   he passed he died he'd done he didn't [TS]

00:02:50   pass you died and so did her mom back [TS]

00:02:54   but Irma Bombeck died from being old I [TS]

00:02:56   don't if she had cancer it was just the [TS]

00:02:58   cancer being older she had breast cancer [TS]

00:03:00   she would she was like 80,000 years old [TS]

00:03:03   i disagree i would be surprised if you [TS]

00:03:06   think I'm a barback died prematurely [TS]

00:03:08   I mean doesn't everybody died [TS]

00:03:09   prematurely John well I guess so if you [TS]

00:03:12   gonna call people who didn't die [TS]

00:03:13   prematurely if you read hyndland think [TS]

00:03:16   that we should all be living in in scira [TS]

00:03:19   genic prolongation you've been sleeping [TS]

00:03:24   i have not been sleeping i'm not slept [TS]

00:03:27   very much [TS]

00:03:28   he said highlander Heinlein well see now [TS]

00:03:32   I I'm gonna get I'm gonna get run up the [TS]

00:03:34   geek flag pole because I say highland [TS]

00:03:36   but I maybe a timeline when what's the [TS]

00:03:38   thing with the train in New York that's [TS]

00:03:41   the highline ok a little bit ping-pong [TS]

00:03:43   and get a little speech impediment and [TS]

00:03:46   if you put your hand up in here and [TS]

00:03:48   someone else hits it it's a high five [TS]

00:03:50   I'm lying a heart highline had a little [TS]

00:03:55   things little things boys are all [TS]

00:03:57   terrible than these make any sense at [TS]

00:03:58   all [TS]

00:03:59   uh-huh Baumbach her mom died I don't [TS]

00:04:02   know where you google this my senses [TS]

00:04:03   that she was probably see where would [TS]

00:04:05   you google my sense is that she was [TS]

00:04:07   probably [TS]

00:04:09   67-62 or 80 when she was 69 that I 5-4 [TS]

00:04:20   twenties right the grass is always [TS]

00:04:22   greener over the 80-year old one [TS]

00:04:24   actually [TS]

00:04:24   well it's for we've been talking for [TS]

00:04:27   four minutes and 20 seconds just as I [TS]

00:04:29   haha yeah I don't not gonna fuck you i [TS]

00:04:40   might not I do not miss marijuana was [TS]

00:04:44   gonna ask you about how tuning guitars [TS]

00:04:46   that's a heavy statement you don't miss [TS]

00:04:48   marijuana a lick [TS]

00:04:49   because of all the things well that's [TS]

00:04:52   not true there are a lot of things i'm [TS]

00:04:53   gonna head judge me it's funny I can [TS]

00:04:55   feel it coming [TS]

00:04:55   there's no wonder it's not a judgment [TS]

00:04:57   but marijuana sometimes makes sense for [TS]

00:05:02   instance if you want to marijuana he [TS]

00:05:07   sometimes makes sense if you want to sit [TS]

00:05:10   in the bathtub and masturbate all day [TS]

00:05:12   marijuana is presented with that tub [TS]

00:05:14   mastered not anymore i haven't in years [TS]

00:05:16   but it was your water in it back in the [TS]

00:05:19   old just go sit in the bathtub in your [TS]

00:05:22   clothes and masturbates because you [TS]

00:05:24   don't want to get it on anything I think [TS]

00:05:26   they're assuming I'm not a lawyer as you [TS]

00:05:28   know John I think you're seeing a lot of [TS]

00:05:29   things not in evidence when you sit talk [TS]

00:05:31   about being high measure been thinking [TS]

00:05:32   about a lot of ways that could go listen [TS]

00:05:35   and might not know you're a bathtub or [TS]

00:05:37   masturbating particularly when you don't [TS]

00:05:39   have when you have a lot of resources [TS]

00:05:41   and you're you're sharing living [TS]

00:05:44   arrangement with other people are or [TS]

00:05:45   maybe you're crafting have been laid off [TS]

00:05:48   and you don't and you there are times [TS]

00:05:50   when you need to masturbate it's a it's [TS]

00:05:52   important physical thing you need to do [TS]

00:05:54   and there just aren't that many places [TS]

00:05:56   you can get away maybe you don't have [TS]

00:05:58   your own bedroom maybe you're sleeping [TS]

00:05:59   on their couch in there then they're all [TS]

00:06:01   standing around staring and wondering [TS]

00:06:03   that's why bathrooms became popular and [TS]

00:06:05   yes let's be honest anybody leave you [TS]

00:06:07   ask any man I've seen urinate in some in [TS]

00:06:09   some really exotic places and really [TS]

00:06:11   more disturbingly it's very mundane [TS]

00:06:12   places and the thing is there's no one [TS]

00:06:15   better place to urinate when you really [TS]

00:06:17   have to go [TS]

00:06:17   no every one of them is the Taj Mahal of [TS]

00:06:19   urination each one is like a little [TS]

00:06:21   fucking magic kingdom [TS]

00:06:22   then it's hello nobody know guys sitting [TS]

00:06:25   around going who I need to close the [TS]

00:06:26   door to go blasted Tiki you know and i [TS]

00:06:28   think as you get older you get more [TS]

00:06:29   comfortable you can drop a deuce [TS]

00:06:31   anywhere but I think you want a little [TS]

00:06:32   bit of privacy that dander you know [TS]

00:06:34   that's not something people have to [TS]

00:06:35   share the dander and so so you're right [TS]

00:06:40   you can quit your you don't want to [TS]

00:06:42   stand you want to sit on the toilet [TS]

00:06:43   masturbate like some kind of animal [TS]

00:06:44   would you ever do that again i would [TS]

00:06:46   rather do that i'm sorry i don't [TS]

00:06:47   interrupt yeah I'd rather do that can be [TS]

00:06:49   in the bathtub I don't understand master [TS]

00:06:50   period and like underwater not [TS]

00:06:54   completely underwater see that's the [TS]

00:06:56   thing this is the thing when you're [TS]

00:06:57   young guy you think oh sex under water [TS]

00:07:00   is going to be amazing work because it [TS]

00:07:02   has everything that you need you want to [TS]

00:07:05   your underwater you're the girl with the [TS]

00:07:06   pool her parents are out of town and [TS]

00:07:08   city all of them and you feel like [TS]

00:07:09   you're bet you feel like wait you're [TS]

00:07:11   bouncing around like you're on the [TS]

00:07:13   surface of the Moon here in the swimming [TS]

00:07:15   pool but having sex under water as [TS]

00:07:17   everyone who's done it knows is this [TS]

00:07:18   terrible it's a that's not how it's [TS]

00:07:20   meant to be done [TS]

00:07:21   yeah where we've evolved from being fish [TS]

00:07:24   or Turtles and now we have sex on land [TS]

00:07:27   second quarter right but if you are high [TS]

00:07:30   who and you're sitting in somebody [TS]

00:07:32   else's bathtub eating some grilled [TS]

00:07:36   cheese sandwiches that you may have met [TS]

00:07:38   or may not have made it is a fantastic [TS]

00:07:42   place to masturbate you don't you just [TS]

00:07:44   don't fill the tub all the way up with [TS]

00:07:46   water it's a half half tub of water [TS]

00:07:49   you're eating grilled cheese and [TS]

00:07:51   investigating and half a cup of water a [TS]

00:07:54   long time ago and I was very high [TS]

00:07:57   that's a good safety precaution you [TS]

00:08:01   might have said to yourself before i [TS]

00:08:03   even smoke this i'm going to draw a line [TS]

00:08:05   in the tub [TS]

00:08:05   I think about the water must go no [TS]

00:08:07   higher than that that's right that's [TS]

00:08:08   right that's right and there should be a [TS]

00:08:10   bath mat I should have everything your [TS]

00:08:12   family program but I I'm resisting [TS]

00:08:14   asking you a lot of questions [TS]

00:08:17   yeah well don't don't don't censor [TS]

00:08:18   yourself you know if there's something [TS]

00:08:21   you want to know just ask [TS]

00:08:24   I don't know it's where you know like to [TS]

00:08:25   see the drunk people shouldn't drive [TS]

00:08:26   because the judgment is impaired [TS]

00:08:28   is that something you say that one of [TS]

00:08:30   your catchphrases think it's not looking [TS]

00:08:32   good [TS]

00:08:32   and drunk people shouldn't drive it is [TS]

00:08:35   said I think I saw the look magazine i [TS]

00:08:38   don't remember but I i was just thinking [TS]

00:08:41   the other day about how stupid I people [TS]

00:08:43   are and and in the same way that I think [TS]

00:08:45   the drunk people probably shouldn't [TS]

00:08:46   decide whether they're gonna drive [TS]

00:08:48   I the high people just have a lot of [TS]

00:08:51   confidence about the possibilities in [TS]

00:08:53   the world which is really stupid you [TS]

00:08:56   know i mean i guess that's good [TS]

00:08:57   whatever I think you know that we talked [TS]

00:08:59   about in like the first or second visit [TS]

00:09:00   with that I still want to get back to is [TS]

00:09:01   the extent to which drugs really have [TS]

00:09:03   permanently fucked us up something I [TS]

00:09:05   used to believe was a myth and I [TS]

00:09:08   increasingly think are maybe a very [TS]

00:09:10   distinct possibility [TS]

00:09:11   so I just want to say I think know you [TS]

00:09:13   the yellow you know if I become [TS]

00:09:15   president patil be legal and will free [TS]

00:09:17   the Dragons it's like okay great you [TS]

00:09:19   know I'm glad we have an electoral [TS]

00:09:21   system where you can release the dragons [TS]

00:09:23   or whatever I think the thing about [TS]

00:09:24   marijuana of all other drugs is [TS]

00:09:27   absolutely interferes with your sense of [TS]

00:09:30   the causality of things like you you [TS]

00:09:34   lose your capacity to be to think in a [TS]

00:09:37   linear fashion and that's why that's why [TS]

00:09:39   the the myth of pot being a mellow drug [TS]

00:09:42   is so insidious because it isn't mellow [TS]

00:09:45   the most stressed out people I ever met [TS]

00:09:47   our pot start pots donors and the reason [TS]

00:09:51   that they're stressed out is that they [TS]

00:09:52   can't remember how they got here you [TS]

00:09:55   know they can't remember the series of [TS]

00:09:58   things that they did to arrive at their [TS]

00:10:01   current situation and they cannot fathom [TS]

00:10:03   what series of things that can do to to [TS]

00:10:06   remove really good that you don't like [TS]

00:10:07   that's a really good way to put asked if [TS]

00:10:09   you might cause Ali past or future base [TS]

00:10:11   both yeah it's not only I don't [TS]

00:10:13   understand why I'm sitting in a car it [TS]

00:10:16   could really also be like why can't like [TS]

00:10:17   why can't go to meeting the Conqueror [TS]

00:10:19   you see that everything when you're [TS]

00:10:21   stoned everything becomes atomized day [TS]

00:10:24   and everything looks like a discreet [TS]

00:10:26   little moment and so you're like whoa [TS]

00:10:28   dude did you did you see that flower but [TS]

00:10:33   you see that you see the phones but [TS]

00:10:35   there's no cords plugged in any of them [TS]

00:10:37   exactly and so stoners are these people [TS]

00:10:40   they're like I'm so mellow so many dead [TS]

00:10:42   wife like what [TS]

00:10:43   dad come on [TS]

00:10:44   yeah you know I make they lose their [TS]

00:10:46   shit i hate i hate being that high so [TS]

00:10:49   much and I think that's one reason I [TS]

00:10:51   don't do it it's not fun for me it hurts [TS]

00:10:53   my immune system [TS]

00:10:54   it makes me paranoid but I really hate [TS]

00:10:56   being that high people in the [TS]

00:10:58   entertainment business that smoke a lot [TS]

00:11:00   of pot at the the worst combination are [TS]

00:11:03   because if you're if you're a roadie and [TS]

00:11:06   you smoke a lot of pop that's fine you [TS]

00:11:07   don't you don't really need your [TS]

00:11:09   nobody's asking you to do the big [TS]

00:11:11   picture right here just move the amps on [TS]

00:11:12   stage you hook them up the same every [TS]

00:11:15   night you can you can recognize that [TS]

00:11:17   process but when your road manager is a [TS]

00:11:20   stoner when people who are running clubs [TS]

00:11:23   are stoners that's where like money goes [TS]

00:11:26   missing that's where it's like oh we [TS]

00:11:30   gotta cancel the show because oh I said [TS]

00:11:34   I think I saw some snow you know that [TS]

00:11:37   they lose they will rub management [TS]

00:11:40   system is there anybody in the world [TS]

00:11:42   that has to have more access to what you [TS]

00:11:45   might call multitasking and love that [TS]

00:11:47   word but somebody who is able to think [TS]

00:11:48   not simply linearly right [TS]

00:11:50   certainly there has to be somebody who [TS]

00:11:52   knows which order the state's go in [TS]

00:11:53   there right that's like you know where [TS]

00:11:57   we're going to be in this state before [TS]

00:11:58   we're in that state and a trip to know [TS]

00:12:00   right now not confusing saturday with [TS]

00:12:02   the other saturday right managers will [TS]

00:12:04   see that that's like just that I mean [TS]

00:12:06   that is that is more difficult than it [TS]

00:12:09   sounds but but it like if you get a flat [TS]

00:12:11   knowing within seconds which three [TS]

00:12:13   people to call in which order right [TS]

00:12:15   that's a bad thing I got high or not I [TS]

00:12:17   cannot fast at that and some people are [TS]

00:12:20   they know exactly they're already doing [TS]

00:12:21   it right but those are skills that that [TS]

00:12:23   even an interstate truck driver can [TS]

00:12:26   master not not to cast aspersions on [TS]

00:12:28   anyone who's driving an interstate truck [TS]

00:12:30   because i think some of that work is [TS]

00:12:32   God's were scarce still scared the [TS]

00:12:34   Teamsters are but because you know as [TS]

00:12:37   your little under driven across America [TS]

00:12:39   in the middle of the night and I've done [TS]

00:12:41   I've done the entire trip in the middle [TS]

00:12:42   of in the middle of one night [TS]

00:12:44   it's there are a lot of trucks out there [TS]

00:12:45   without ephedrine um but speaking of [TS]

00:12:48   federal lab write that down on a [TS]

00:12:50   notecard got it right here to get along [TS]

00:12:52   but I'm madder than ever about [TS]

00:12:53   California and drug was the thing [TS]

00:12:55   about the thing about road managers is [TS]

00:12:58   or people in the entertainment business [TS]

00:12:59   that have to master some technical [TS]

00:13:01   aspect or a lot of technical aspect but [TS]

00:13:04   also deal with with artists and [TS]

00:13:07   personalities so it's not enough that [TS]

00:13:10   they have to know the order that the [TS]

00:13:11   states are in but they also have to tend [TS]

00:13:14   to some weeping little rock star that [TS]

00:13:18   whose playstation 3 can't boot up or [TS]

00:13:21   whatever and and to those are such [TS]

00:13:24   separate skill sets to be good at both [TS]

00:13:28   things and I think there are a lot of [TS]

00:13:30   people in Hollywood who have this job to [TS]

00:13:31   where they have to minister to these you [TS]

00:13:35   know these a flamboyant and and [TS]

00:13:38   completely untethered personalities and [TS]

00:13:42   I think that's really think through how [TS]

00:13:44   electricity works [TS]

00:13:45   oh my god are absolutely real anybody [TS]

00:13:48   who got famous before the age of 27 [TS]

00:13:51   I don't think I can have possibly have [TS]

00:13:54   amassed the life skills the skillset [TS]

00:13:58   necessary to not be a total horse's ass [TS]

00:14:01   for the rest of their life you know like [TS]

00:14:03   if you if you got famous before you're [TS]

00:14:04   27 and you have managed to be a decent [TS]

00:14:07   person you are an anomaly because I [TS]

00:14:12   don't know [TS]

00:14:12   oh no I totally agree with you that's [TS]

00:14:14   why I mean there's so many things I've [TS]

00:14:16   wished for that i'm glad i never got [TS]

00:14:17   right being born rich [TS]

00:14:20   well you haven't Porsha nice this is the [TS]

00:14:22   nice thing about being 45 is this is the [TS]

00:14:25   perfect age to find out that your family [TS]

00:14:27   is actually extremely rich [TS]

00:14:29   sing it sister now I think about like [TS]

00:14:32   again it sounds like you were wired [TS]

00:14:34   pretty well yeah Jordan orange pants and [TS]

00:14:36   encyclopedia [TS]

00:14:37   but you know I think about myself and [TS]

00:14:39   like how much of an emotional child i am [TS]

00:14:41   even today and can you imagine suddenly [TS]

00:14:44   like the Ford agency or whatever gets [TS]

00:14:47   you a gig and you're on some Disney show [TS]

00:14:49   suddenly or whatever i don't know [TS]

00:14:51   exactly that simple but there are [TS]

00:14:52   certainly stories imagine their people [TS]

00:14:55   and you know just showed up on Saved by [TS]

00:14:57   the Bell pretty quickly or whatever but [TS]

00:14:59   all the sudden at this age [TS]

00:15:01   anytime after like three and before 27 [TS]

00:15:04   like if you suddenly have are surrounded [TS]

00:15:08   by people [TS]

00:15:09   telling you that you are great and [TS]

00:15:11   everything is great and giving you just [TS]

00:15:13   probably terrible advice you know you [TS]

00:15:16   don't get me started on the whole idea [TS]

00:15:17   of agency in general when you're [TS]

00:15:19   surrounded by people who literally it's [TS]

00:15:21   like you know in loco parentis there are [TS]

00:15:22   people making decisions about your life [TS]

00:15:24   around you right [TS]

00:15:25   what happens before you're old enough to [TS]

00:15:27   appreciate I think part of getting older [TS]

00:15:30   is realizing that greatness like [TS]

00:15:34   tremendous creativity artistic talent [TS]

00:15:37   Beauty ability greatness in all its [TS]

00:15:42   forms is still not worth that much in [TS]

00:15:46   the grand scheme of things like there [TS]

00:15:47   are so many people in the world that [TS]

00:15:51   even your greatness is just a hill of [TS]

00:15:54   beans and I think if if you are told [TS]

00:15:57   that you're great at a young age your [TS]

00:15:59   your natural inclination as a person is [TS]

00:16:01   to think that greatness is some like [TS]

00:16:03   transcends somehow because we all have [TS]

00:16:06   this app will on this belief that that [TS]

00:16:09   we're going to arrive at a certain age [TS]

00:16:11   and it's going to be coasting from then [TS]

00:16:13   on [TS]

00:16:14   right like you're going to get to a [TS]

00:16:15   certain point and everything just turned [TS]

00:16:17   14 it'll be downhill that's exactly [TS]

00:16:20   right [TS]

00:16:20   oh my god and i still fall for them 4143 [TS]

00:16:23   now and it's not a boy well i hope by [TS]

00:16:26   the time I'm 40 really feel like you [TS]

00:16:28   forfeit because I feel like you counsel [TS]

00:16:29   people consistently and trying to help [TS]

00:16:31   people that you counsel them often [TS]

00:16:32   how does sometimes we discussed it is [TS]

00:16:34   there is no arrival there is no [TS]

00:16:36   chlorination nobody's gonna make You [TS]

00:16:38   Lord of the indie rock in your own mind [TS]

00:16:40   there i mean in my own mind there is [TS]

00:16:43   still some some room in the very center [TS]

00:16:45   of the house where you open the the door [TS]

00:16:48   and there's a red light bulb in the room [TS]

00:16:51   first of all and there's a little boy [TS]

00:16:53   sitting indian-style playing with a [TS]

00:16:55   combination of the Guns of Navarone [TS]

00:16:58   playset and some Legos and some hot [TS]

00:17:02   wheels and you look at him and you go [TS]

00:17:04   what he got and he says well I hope by [TS]

00:17:08   the time 45 i don't have the kind of my [TS]

00:17:11   fantasies about imaginary children have [TS]

00:17:14   to deal with any of this shit anymore [TS]

00:17:16   you know I just I just don't want to [TS]

00:17:17   deal with any of this shit anymore and [TS]

00:17:19   and of course that moment never arrives [TS]

00:17:21   but if you are if you're told that you [TS]

00:17:23   you are fantastic and that greatness [TS]

00:17:25   matters and that you're put particular [TS]

00:17:28   greatness is unique [TS]

00:17:31   then i have to say every new day every [TS]

00:17:33   new frustration has to be a double slap [TS]

00:17:36   in the face to you like why do I have to [TS]

00:17:38   deal with this shit [TS]

00:17:40   don't you realize well sometimes it's [TS]

00:17:43   like that the antibacterial soap I'm [TS]

00:17:44   trying to get off the antibacterial soap [TS]

00:17:46   because i think i'm doing up you ever [TS]

00:17:48   not finish penicillin right you ever not [TS]

00:17:50   finished your antibiotics that are [TS]

00:17:51   taking good know what I'm capture that's [TS]

00:17:54   good for you so you take the v7 we saw [TS]

00:17:56   against Nolan good for you good for you [TS]

00:17:59   that's probably where such a bacterial [TS]

00:18:01   viral mess my good when I get sick I go [TS]

00:18:03   sit out in the rain and and I say [TS]

00:18:06   alright virus it's you or me [TS]

00:18:08   alright first of all it's not a virus [TS]

00:18:09   because you can't kill the Paris on [TS]

00:18:11   changing alright bacteria you think [TS]

00:18:13   you're tough [TS]

00:18:15   how do you like this cold rain this is [TS]

00:18:16   what all the great men have done [TS]

00:18:18   voltaire sat in the rain Mussolini rain [TS]

00:18:22   all right [TS]

00:18:24   ok ill rain they call you so blue [TS]

00:18:26   Mussolini's in your list of all the [TS]

00:18:28   great men i have a lot of cards John [TS]

00:18:30   alright i was cleaning and and Pol Pot [TS]

00:18:34   he's that in the rain is a snappy [TS]

00:18:36   dresser [TS]

00:18:36   ok listen i want to mention i agree with [TS]

00:18:38   you except to say that I think the the [TS]

00:18:42   false greatness is a important but [TS]

00:18:44   somewhat tertiary point2 what I want I [TS]

00:18:46   mean yes absolutely but the thing is [TS]

00:18:47   that's true for anybody's got a fucking [TS]

00:18:49   BMW before they had a job that I mean [TS]

00:18:52   I'm sorry sandy but i'm not even envious [TS]

00:18:54   I'm really actually jealous of the [TS]

00:18:56   airport ok ok it's a fine distinction [TS]

00:18:58   you know unless you're a dick tart like [TS]

00:19:00   all those guys with the fucking BMWs [TS]

00:19:02   screw those guys you know I you know [TS]

00:19:03   what we have a black german car with a [TS]

00:19:05   black german car that is 16 years old [TS]

00:19:07   wait a minute got your black german cars [TS]

00:19:09   one of those tiny little things that [TS]

00:19:10   fits in them he gonna karate in San [TS]

00:19:12   Francisco garage [TS]

00:19:13   you know what's funny is on the car that [TS]

00:19:16   we have it was probably the somewhat of [TS]

00:19:20   a nice official but it was like the [TS]

00:19:22   official car of the guy who never made [TS]

00:19:24   any money in the dot-com revolution [TS]

00:19:26   everybody had a late nineties jetta like [TS]

00:19:27   it's just black jets what you had but i [TS]

00:19:30   like to help that i'm not a total douche [TS]

00:19:31   i'm constantly astounded by how many [TS]

00:19:34   complete dicks drive bmws and let's say [TS]

00:19:36   that for a whole cars episode but i [TS]

00:19:38   think is that the the the BMW drivers [TS]

00:19:41   are missing out on the farfegnugen yes [TS]

00:19:43   this is the joy of driving [TS]

00:19:45   yeah no no it's absolutely true uh [TS]

00:19:47   there's you know there's a lot of stuff [TS]

00:19:49   like that do you ever see the xfinity [TS]

00:19:51   from comcast to get the comcast up there [TS]

00:19:54   i'm sure we can get CB texts xfinity [TS]

00:19:56   like Josh you know as we speak right now [TS]

00:19:59   i have two different accounts with [TS]

00:20:01   comcast this is a show i could not have [TS]

00:20:03   done with you it two years ago because i [TS]

00:20:05   don't have xfinity yet I can't even tell [TS]

00:20:07   you how the fact that i now have exactly [TS]

00:20:10   the same fucking coaxial cable coming [TS]

00:20:12   into my house but now it's called [TS]

00:20:14   xfinity it's changed everything [TS]

00:20:16   so this man is copper its branded copper [TS]

00:20:19   i think i have xfinity to but how do you [TS]

00:20:22   tell if you have xfinity what is xfinity [TS]

00:20:24   you consider yourself to generally be a [TS]

00:20:25   happy and well-adjusted person [TS]

00:20:27   no fuck you you don't have xfinity [TS]

00:20:29   asshole up dammit i think i do have [TS]

00:20:32   expenditure you know what your fig [TS]

00:20:33   nooters loading too slowly i get things [TS]

00:20:36   in the mail all the time but say [TS]

00:20:37   expended I get constantly is gonna throw [TS]

00:20:40   them in the garbage are some of those [TS]

00:20:41   important you fucked up to ask another [TS]

00:20:42   question rap was the last time you felt [TS]

00:20:44   deep down in your gut you're laying [TS]

00:20:46   there trying to sleep the aliens are [TS]

00:20:47   knocking when's the last time you [TS]

00:20:48   thought a really profound sense of [TS]

00:20:49   hospitality on know what it was the last [TS]

00:20:53   time I felt a special hospitality and [TS]

00:20:56   deep in your heart you felt that [TS]

00:20:57   combination of hospitality and an [TS]

00:20:59   Italian food hospitality on oh you never [TS]

00:21:01   been to an olive garden [TS]

00:21:02   ah no well no that's not true i have [TS]

00:21:05   been to an olive like like dr. Seuss [TS]

00:21:07   books it ends and ends with an [TS]

00:21:09   unnecessary ! i'm not going to [TS]

00:21:11   demonstrate it [TS]

00:21:12   I've been to an olive garden and I've [TS]

00:21:13   also been to what's the other one the [TS]

00:21:15   one with the cheesecake factory I've [TS]

00:21:17   been to both of those are the sexist [TS]

00:21:18   cheesecake depository that that is a [TS]

00:21:20   farcical restaurant that India was one [TS]

00:21:22   load load purse but sit on what's my [TS]

00:21:25   claim jumpers i have i've never been to [TS]

00:21:27   claim jumpers but I went to the version [TS]

00:21:29   i went to an Outback Steakhouse because [TS]

00:21:30   i do not want to be living [TS]

00:21:32   I love an outback stick either this is [TS]

00:21:33   the same reason I started going on 4chan [TS]

00:21:35   I don't want to [TS]

00:21:36   living in a world brought don't [TS]

00:21:37   understand what people are talking about [TS]

00:21:40   ok John I'm gonna what I'm gonna write [TS]

00:21:42   down one word here to work i want to [TS]

00:21:43   write down our mall and I'd like you [TS]

00:21:45   asked me about it later i'm gonna put [TS]

00:21:46   aside i wanna they put a cheesecake [TS]

00:21:48   factory in the center of downtown [TS]

00:21:50   Seattle I it's an abortion its inviting [TS]

00:21:53   a board that's it was a lot there was a [TS]

00:21:54   line seriously alignment went around the [TS]

00:21:56   block for 3-4 weeks at a time and I was [TS]

00:21:58   like place must have the most fantastic [TS]

00:22:01   cheesecake in the world it could you [TS]

00:22:03   know why because the catchphrase for the [TS]

00:22:05   place should be $23 to show the world [TS]

00:22:08   why they're right you go in there and [TS]

00:22:10   it's a bunch of fucking selfish insane [TS]

00:22:13   diabetic fat ass [TS]

00:22:14   no offense fast American sitting down of [TS]

00:22:17   talk back in a minute [TS]

00:22:19   even giant giant giant portions of [TS]

00:22:22   really really unhealthy food that was [TS]

00:22:24   the first time first time I ever saw [TS]

00:22:25   bloomin onion which I don't think they [TS]

00:22:27   are a lot of that's a lot of fat that's [TS]

00:22:29   a lot of added value i think that's I [TS]

00:22:31   think that's a copyrighted phrase i [TS]

00:22:33   don't think i would absolutely is where [TS]

00:22:35   you can go in wikipedia entry on this I [TS]

00:22:37   think that we talked about this [TS]

00:22:38   yeah you talk about human conversation [TS]

00:22:40   I've ever had all you we talked about [TS]

00:22:42   this all about value added service you [TS]

00:22:44   don't sure reason you see all onion know [TS]

00:22:46   Blum you understand that all that [TS]

00:22:48   useless looters and the jalapeno popper [TS]

00:22:50   housing about a momentary poppers [TS]

00:22:53   ok i wish i can write this down real [TS]

00:22:54   quick hospitality honor because I want [TS]

00:22:56   to finish my thought here what happened [TS]

00:22:57   aliano is a trademark phrase employed by [TS]

00:23:00   the olive garden to make you feel like [TS]

00:23:01   you're having an esata you have to go to [TS]

00:23:03   Easter excited to look that up the [TS]

00:23:04   cylinder get rid of course you're not [TS]

00:23:05   taking it [TS]

00:23:06   ok so here's my thing hospital now and [TS]

00:23:09   our mall yellow ball [TS]

00:23:12   oh I got to say about the small buddy I [TS]

00:23:14   new ball oh god I i was madder than an [TS]

00:23:17   onanist in a bathtub this week i can [TS]

00:23:19   tell you about it i'm thinking of the [TS]

00:23:21   entire sunset area of san francisco [TS]

00:23:23   which is a very large part of the city [TS]

00:23:25   yes I can't think of a single mall in it [TS]

00:23:26   i think it was your got talent in be and [TS]

00:23:33   more [TS]

00:23:33   it was it not the pnw probably were [TS]

00:23:36   NIMBY was invented [TS]

00:23:37   it's a very popular i cannot send them [TS]

00:23:40   into up here [TS]

00:23:41   yes a little piggy Mary or at least it [TS]

00:23:43   was before people realized that being [TS]

00:23:45   called a NIMBY was exactly the same as [TS]

00:23:48   having the phrase for [TS]

00:23:49   first world problems shouted at you [TS]

00:23:51   myself but that has like that don't that [TS]

00:23:54   still has one of the songs a rat tail or [TS]

00:23:57   right I'm dreadlock first world problem [TS]

00:24:00   maybe it's it's it's the i just learned [TS]

00:24:03   about firstworldproblems I've register [TS]

00:24:05   know I read about it in the new york [TS]

00:24:06   times in my copy was a little wet [TS]

00:24:09   firstworldproblems you subscribe to the [TS]

00:24:12   new york times i have subscribed to [TS]

00:24:14   fucking death march i bought it for my [TS]

00:24:16   wife I feel here we got one another [TS]

00:24:18   these were in the stack me feel [TS]

00:24:19   obligated to read every word and so it [TS]

00:24:22   oscillates very costly it comes every [TS]

00:24:24   day and it takes three hours to read [TS]

00:24:26   even if even the thin ones if you if you [TS]

00:24:29   are obligated to read every word [TS]

00:24:31   how did so i would sit and just read [TS]

00:24:33   this thing was like oh this march [TS]

00:24:35   through history [TS]

00:24:36   well in fairness to the New York Times [TS]

00:24:38   who are idiots the the whoever was [TS]

00:24:42   delivering it somebody stealing our [TS]

00:24:43   paper basically everyday so even when we [TS]

00:24:45   doubt it down to just weekends we got it [TS]

00:24:47   maybe one out of three days someone's [TS]

00:24:51   feeling your paper I mean you have to go [TS]

00:24:52   up a long flight of stairs to get to [TS]

00:24:54   your door [TS]

00:24:55   don't be creepy if somewhere in the [TS]

00:24:57   thing is we asked them to make it go up [TS]

00:24:59   the stairs but they wouldn't do that and [TS]

00:25:02   so here's the thing now before that for [TS]

00:25:04   awhile i signed up for the introductory [TS]

00:25:06   offer we got the new york times every [TS]

00:25:07   day and we guilty SAT there and read the [TS]

00:25:09   equivalent of a short book everyday home [TS]

00:25:11   but here's the thing also I I this is [TS]

00:25:13   not interesting [TS]

00:25:14   I i got it under one of those special [TS]

00:25:15   deals and special video intellectual [TS]

00:25:18   deal in a way and i realized i was [TS]

00:25:19   spending spending 100 dollars a month on [TS]

00:25:21   a newspaper [TS]

00:25:22   mm and that just made me angry okay York [TS]

00:25:24   Times quick maybe oh man [TS]

00:25:27   John I'm 100 mall your mall I know what [TS]

00:25:30   I have something very deep in the stack [TS]

00:25:32   that's important [TS]

00:25:33   let's come back to the market that's a [TS]

00:25:34   long one hospitality on you know [TS]

00:25:36   hospitality know before they officially [TS]

00:25:37   put it on the menu [TS]

00:25:39   my friends and I knew about the [TS]

00:25:40   unlimited salad and breadsticks or six [TS]

00:25:41   dollars and you do not want a college [TS]

00:25:44   student you not want a group of ghee [TS]

00:25:45   college students high on coke refills [TS]

00:25:47   refills to know about the the salad [TS]

00:25:50   breadsticks that that's a waitron worst [TS]

00:25:52   nightmare [TS]

00:25:53   well but here's the things yeah that and [TS]

00:25:55   I'm gonna stay here is basically the [TS]

00:25:57   hospitality on until the day I die if [TS]

00:26:00   you want true hospitality on know if [TS]

00:26:02   you're in college and you [TS]

00:26:03   and your thing and and the idea of [TS]

00:26:05   unlimited salad bar breadsticks appeals [TS]

00:26:07   to you [TS]

00:26:07   yes let me introduce you to the subway [TS]

00:26:09   meatball sandwich without many meatballs [TS]

00:26:12   salmon [TS]

00:26:13   I mean outside of medicine that was my [TS]

00:26:16   original go to subway but the price has [TS]

00:26:17   gone up but i don't think you can get [TS]

00:26:19   two meatball sandwiches for seven bucks [TS]

00:26:21   anymore it's for chili on it but you [TS]

00:26:24   made out of treatment it is you buy a [TS]

00:26:27   bunch of dividing a clutch of sandwiches [TS]

00:26:29   pretty often [TS]

00:26:30   early early on in the touring of the [TS]

00:26:32   touring life of the long winters there [TS]

00:26:33   was a joke among the other guys in the [TS]

00:26:35   band which was extra meat for a dollar [TS]

00:26:37   we sit down at the at the at the table [TS]

00:26:40   and I'd always be the last one to sit [TS]

00:26:41   down because I'm parking the van or [TS]

00:26:43   whatever and then I'd walk up to the [TS]

00:26:44   table they don't be looking at the menus [TS]

00:26:46   and they would have they would have [TS]

00:26:48   searched the menu to see if anywhere on [TS]

00:26:50   it says extra feature the color is [TS]

00:26:53   really like hey John guess what extra [TS]

00:26:55   meat for a dollar [TS]

00:26:56   well really extra meat for a dollar it's [TS]

00:26:58   the first time in three days you guys [TS]

00:26:59   had bonded double it up double it up [TS]

00:27:01   oh I know all I used to sit in the [TS]

00:27:03   bathtub bonito de Paul sandwiches what I [TS]

00:27:07   just a college and I would get super [TS]

00:27:10   baked and sit in a bathtub and not you [TS]

00:27:12   don't even need a napkin you just in the [TS]

00:27:14   bathtub you use the bathtub like other [TS]

00:27:16   people have friends meatballs covered in [TS]

00:27:18   meatballs and I was covered from my [TS]

00:27:20   eyebrows to my too many more efficient [TS]

00:27:23   what could be more efficient though if [TS]

00:27:24   you put like a little bit of a drain [TS]

00:27:26   catch in there like it's like a loose [TS]

00:27:27   screen like an archeologist would have [TS]

00:27:29   you're not gonna have a problem not a [TS]

00:27:30   problem [TS]

00:27:31   you get a little you get a little more [TS]

00:27:32   volley or meteor than you want hit the [TS]

00:27:34   shower boom start over hit reset hilltop [TS]

00:27:36   halfway up Sparky duty and just jerkin [TS]

00:27:40   just dressed like it just like the [TS]

00:27:42   ancient people because I feel like yes [TS]

00:27:44   ancient people when they ate when they [TS]

00:27:46   had a meal they were covered in sauce [TS]

00:27:50   that's part sauce a protective ancient [TS]

00:27:54   saws from from their eyebrows to their [TS]

00:27:56   knees they were covered in soft because [TS]

00:27:58   they had to get all the way inside the [TS]

00:27:59   bore right i mean i don't know if you [TS]

00:28:02   like it like it like warming look at on [TS]

00:28:05   what are you talking about [TS]

00:28:06   basically I one time many many years ago [TS]

00:28:08   we group of people and I went down went [TS]

00:28:12   down to the pike place market here where [TS]

00:28:13   they throw the fish [TS]

00:28:14   yep and we said to the body [TS]

00:28:16   by the original starbucks if memory [TS]

00:28:18   serves it just down the block [TS]

00:28:19   we went to the to the old-fashioned [TS]

00:28:21   butcher that is there at the pike place [TS]

00:28:23   market we said we want to goat [TS]

00:28:25   where-where-where hippies and we want to [TS]

00:28:28   hold goat we wanted to eat a whole go to [TS]

00:28:30   my guy said we don't have goat that [TS]

00:28:33   takes it takes me like like eight days [TS]

00:28:35   to get a goat has a special order [TS]

00:28:37   nobody eats goat in America he said but [TS]

00:28:40   I got it but i have a shy can get you a [TS]

00:28:42   sheep and we said all right we wanted to [TS]

00:28:46   goat but sergeant what the fuck kind of [TS]

00:28:48   responses that from a butcher [TS]

00:28:51   well it was nowadays i bet you go down [TS]

00:28:54   there and some guy with a tattoo on his [TS]

00:28:56   neck at a fauxhawk tells you oh what [TS]

00:28:59   kind of go do you wanna do on a you know [TS]

00:29:02   San Francisco go toward always mentions [TS]

00:29:04   you can go always mention used to being [TS]

00:29:06   a ska band [TS]

00:29:07   hey here they got they got goats they [TS]

00:29:09   got every kind of artisanal go you can [TS]

00:29:10   buy now but at the time this is 1993 or [TS]

00:29:14   something that they weren't just the one [TS]

00:29:16   throwing goats actually had yet to make [TS]

00:29:19   it a special and this guy was going to [TS]

00:29:20   get us a go but he was like there's a [TS]

00:29:21   day waiting period that would bring in [TS]

00:29:24   the tourist if they started throwing the [TS]

00:29:25   fucking that's it would and we were like [TS]

00:29:28   like all right we don't we wanted we [TS]

00:29:31   wanted today right i mean we didn't with [TS]

00:29:33   we were stoners we couldn't think eight [TS]

00:29:35   days in advance so he gives us the Sheep [TS]

00:29:37   an entire sheep and and we carted back [TS]

00:29:41   to this house and it was right in the [TS]

00:29:42   center of town I don't know what we were [TS]

00:29:44   thinking but we dug a pit in the [TS]

00:29:45   backyard and he filled it have any [TS]

00:29:48   experience with go cooking or she [TS]

00:29:50   thinking [TS]

00:29:50   none of us that was just you know that [TS]

00:29:52   the sum I think it was one of the girls [TS]

00:29:54   had this idea that we should eat a goat [TS]

00:29:56   and that off we went [TS]

00:29:57   you know and so we would take a pit in [TS]

00:29:59   the backyard we fill it with coals and [TS]

00:30:02   we wrap this entire goat in aluminum [TS]

00:30:04   foil we throw it in the pit we cover it [TS]

00:30:06   with dirt we sit there for the afternoon [TS]

00:30:09   his goat is underground [TS]

00:30:11   and back by mid-afternoon we did the [TS]

00:30:14   goat up and and it's a you know it kind [TS]

00:30:18   of catches on fire for a while because [TS]

00:30:19   because the fat one of the first super [TS]

00:30:23   easy don't think it just just kept just [TS]

00:30:24   caught right on one of the lanolin comes [TS]

00:30:26   from sleep well that's it that's exactly [TS]

00:30:28   right that's they come from the Sheep [TS]

00:30:29   although from the furry part right but [TS]

00:30:32   anyway so we get this goat out and and [TS]

00:30:34   we put out a grounder it's all covered [TS]

00:30:36   in in the in dirt and stuff where the [TS]

00:30:38   foil had fallen apart and everybody kind [TS]

00:30:41   of backs away from it because it's it's [TS]

00:30:44   a it's a whole it's this whole carcass [TS]

00:30:47   that's a that's now like black nobody [TS]

00:30:51   wants to come close to it and so [TS]

00:30:53   somebody somebody like well you know [TS]

00:30:56   who's gonna what do we do now kind of [TS]

00:30:59   thing and so I walk over to it and I [TS]

00:31:02   start to kind of poke at it and I said [TS]

00:31:05   give me some give me some plates give me [TS]

00:31:06   some trays you know and and I started to [TS]

00:31:10   take this sheep part a little bit by bit [TS]

00:31:12   and kind of find the meat and and and [TS]

00:31:15   separated and put it over on this train [TS]

00:31:17   pretty soon I'm covered in sheep sauce [TS]

00:31:21   like I'm up to my elbows in this sheep [TS]

00:31:25   and everybody stand around and enter and [TS]

00:31:27   everybody's kind of panting like and [TS]

00:31:30   there of course we're hippies right so [TS]

00:31:32   their dogs all around but there but the [TS]

00:31:34   well-trained dog so they're all kind of [TS]

00:31:37   like attentive standing there like huh [TS]

00:31:39   and and there's like we have a keg s and [TS]

00:31:43   people start showing up and i'm i'm in [TS]

00:31:45   this shape and point apart and pretty [TS]

00:31:47   soon I'm like taking big handfuls of [TS]

00:31:49   them eating while I'm one pulling the [TS]

00:31:52   Sheep apart and other people kind of [TS]

00:31:53   join in pretty soon everybody's up to [TS]

00:31:56   their elbows in this in this sheep and [TS]

00:31:58   we're all covered with grease and it was [TS]

00:32:01   the most back an alien experience of my [TS]

00:32:05   whole life pretty soon where this thing [TS]

00:32:08   that we were extremely timid about [TS]

00:32:09   approaching at first [TS]

00:32:11   we're just all diving into this thing [TS]

00:32:14   and by the end of it by the end of the [TS]

00:32:17   evening there was not a bit of that [TS]

00:32:21   sheep left the dogs had eaten all the [TS]

00:32:24   bones complete [TS]

00:32:25   the eaten them them we had devoured [TS]

00:32:28   people were licking the trains like we [TS]

00:32:34   we all has been hippies we are raging [TS]

00:32:37   boner like it was it was bonkers [TS]

00:32:43   I still think about that time whenever I [TS]

00:32:45   whenever I need a boat boost of [TS]

00:32:46   confidence whenever I gotta got my tie [TS]

00:32:49   on and i'm downtown i'm about to go see [TS]

00:32:51   some magistrate about some trumped-up [TS]

00:32:53   charges but you've got to try and keep [TS]

00:32:55   to try to keep me down so that my wisdom [TS]

00:32:58   isn't spread ya as I'm about to walk [TS]

00:33:01   into the magistrate's office i think [TS]

00:33:02   right right i was once covered in I was [TS]

00:33:06   once in sheep [TS]

00:33:08   I know what it's like i am a i'm a man [TS]

00:33:11   who da can devour ago you can beat that [TS]

00:33:15   rap see what I'm saying and that's an [TS]

00:33:17   experience I don't think a lot of people [TS]

00:33:18   have that but what I realize later was I [TS]

00:33:21   had a proto experience with a meatball [TS]

00:33:24   sandwich in a bathtub like I understood [TS]

00:33:27   that sense of being understood that [TS]

00:33:29   feeling being covered in sauce it's [TS]

00:33:31   actually your little Tim it's how I [TS]

00:33:34   approach that meatball Sammy said was a [TS]

00:33:36   community giving seven ok because most [TS]

00:33:38   people sit down at the table and they're [TS]

00:33:40   like I mean there's ppl sandwich without [TS]

00:33:41   getting dirty [TS]

00:33:42   oh well it was wrong know that sandwich [TS]

00:33:44   starts with shame and fear that sandwich [TS]

00:33:46   he starts thinking that this general [TS]

00:33:48   look ask you this you take a live animal [TS]

00:33:51   and throw it in a hot pot it makes a [TS]

00:33:55   little screaming noise which is actually [TS]

00:33:56   the flesh tearing working about [TS]

00:33:57   persevering away from the show you're [TS]

00:33:59   talking about a sea animal i'm talking [TS]

00:34:00   about a sea animal start/stop [TS]

00:34:02   black-and-gray you're not gonna throw [TS]

00:34:03   live mammal and upon step at a time when [TS]

00:34:07   the seven ok and what do they do in the [TS]

00:34:10   the vicious act of taking a live animal [TS]

00:34:12   the only way to have this animal you [TS]

00:34:14   really tasty is to have the water super [TS]

00:34:16   hot and the love your crab or lobster [TS]

00:34:19   the lobster be very very alive you throw [TS]

00:34:22   a lobster into boiling water and cook it [TS]

00:34:25   and then somebody take some butter from [TS]

00:34:27   a cow and heats it up and put it next to [TS]

00:34:29   you somebody takes a fucking lobster [TS]

00:34:31   that was alive a few minutes ago and put [TS]

00:34:33   it on your plate and what's the first [TS]

00:34:34   thing you do is look at napkin on you [TS]

00:34:37   put on a plastic bit [TS]

00:34:38   picture a drawing optimizer on it [TS]

00:34:42   yeah right that that's the point at [TS]

00:34:44   which you are divorced from your animal [TS]

00:34:46   nature will put a bib that's a meal that [TS]

00:34:48   begins with an apology and in your case [TS]

00:34:50   you're absolutely right you know the [TS]

00:34:52   lobster experience should be they put [TS]

00:34:54   that Lobster in front of you and you [TS]

00:34:55   take off your fucking shirt that's what [TS]

00:34:58   that's what that should be you should [TS]

00:34:59   take off your shirt and draw a lobster [TS]

00:35:01   on your chest you know that's how we'll [TS]

00:35:04   take the lobsters wife is still alive [TS]

00:35:06   attach it to your head with a rubber [TS]

00:35:09   band [TS]

00:35:10   so it's almost that laughs it's almost [TS]

00:35:12   like so we can see only know what I [TS]

00:35:15   don't know it's got to see you come on [TS]

00:35:16   this lobster lobster eyelids and ate [TS]

00:35:18   them with her husband sit there maybe [TS]

00:35:21   you take the baby lobsters and like [TS]

00:35:23   gaffer tape it to the top of the mama [TS]

00:35:25   you got kids bleacher seats and then you [TS]

00:35:27   fuck you fucking dig in [TS]

00:35:29   so you're covered with like a lobster [TS]

00:35:30   sauce lobster sauce that's it that's I [TS]

00:35:33   think that's a ping-pong thing I have to [TS]

00:35:34   go home I'll John now Cassie question [TS]

00:35:37   the arm that now the Sheep like I think [TS]

00:35:40   about how i like it we dined out you see [TS]

00:35:42   what are you a rare medium-rare coming [TS]

00:35:44   on your me America some medium rare oh [TS]

00:35:46   yeah like a rare if it's really burned [TS]

00:35:48   on the outside like a Pittsburgh style [TS]

00:35:50   that's kind of cheap ok that seems to [TS]

00:35:52   make that there's a place in a and [TS]

00:35:54   Alaska called the double muskie and it's [TS]

00:35:56   like it's it it's way out in the forest [TS]

00:35:58   but they they have something that like a [TS]

00:36:00   Michelin star or something because [TS]

00:36:03   because there is nobody knows how to [TS]

00:36:04   take it with me get these steaks that [TS]

00:36:08   are the size of rugby balls and the way [TS]

00:36:11   they cook them is they just they have a [TS]

00:36:12   fireplace like a big fire first look at [TS]

00:36:14   like baseball or a tomahawk know like a [TS]

00:36:16   like a like a rugby ball I mean that [TS]

00:36:19   so these are baseball steak yeah but i [TS]

00:36:21   had one in sun valley one time was so [TS]

00:36:24   stoned i couldn't finish it because [TS]

00:36:26   there's the other thing about being [TS]

00:36:27   stoned you get halfway into a steak and [TS]

00:36:31   you get super grossed out because you're [TS]

00:36:33   high [TS]

00:36:33   nice try sushi you're thinking about it [TS]

00:36:36   too much happening with sushi gets warm [TS]

00:36:38   i get really main mmm ok so anyway so [TS]

00:36:41   you are out there in the woods is always [TS]

00:36:44   making these huge stakes these gigantic [TS]

00:36:46   gorgeous takes they just throw them in a [TS]

00:36:48   fireplace and that gets you a Michelin [TS]

00:36:51   star ever [TS]

00:36:52   that move I've heard that called [TS]

00:36:53   Pittsburgh and have her call black and [TS]

00:36:55   blue [TS]

00:36:56   I think it's a replica Pittsburgh is the [TS]

00:36:57   the origin of that sucks burg is when [TS]

00:37:00   you know what you're going to get [TS]

00:37:01   corrected by herself into Pittsburgh [TS]

00:37:03   know about from Ohio so I know enough [TS]

00:37:05   not to go there [TS]

00:37:06   Pittsburgh if you've been to Pittsburgh [TS]

00:37:08   that is an appropriate like the the burn [TS]

00:37:10   on the outside rare on the inside stake [TS]

00:37:12   is an appropriate metaphor for the city [TS]

00:37:14   can write that down Pittsburgh duh [TS]

00:37:16   don't overthink it my own bila ok no [TS]

00:37:19   actually don't tell me it's the Ohio the [TS]

00:37:22   I know this woman such a great word [TS]

00:37:26   there's three there's three [TS]

00:37:27   that's right rivers it's the name um [TS]

00:37:29   hang on it's the Allegheny oh hey [TS]

00:37:33   Allegheny the Ohio in the monk [TS]

00:37:35   Monongahela well be the alligator in the [TS]

00:37:39   Monongahela like go a beating like make [TS]

00:37:44   the Ohio so yes those are the three [TS]

00:37:47   rivers offers its neck i will not hear [TS]

00:37:49   any talk like that [TS]

00:37:50   let me ask you this real quick chop your [TS]

00:37:51   head don't think about a pittsburgh vs [TS]

00:37:53   Detroit which is worse [TS]

00:37:54   detroit right Detroit's a thousand times [TS]

00:37:56   workspace / Pittsburgh is anyone really [TS]

00:37:58   bad anymore they tore down all the [TS]

00:38:00   abandoned factories in pittsburgh and [TS]

00:38:02   replace them with predictable like malls [TS]

00:38:07   and baseball stadium cheesecake [TS]

00:38:08   factory's but when you first when i [TS]

00:38:10   first went to Pittsburgh back in the [TS]

00:38:11   eighties holy moly you don't want [TS]

00:38:14   anyways that was really when the whole [TS]

00:38:15   rustbelt they're still struggling to get [TS]

00:38:17   away from the Rust Belt like well they [TS]

00:38:18   were closer and all effector is down and [TS]

00:38:22   the Union people something how I thought [TS]

00:38:28   that was that was that was a nylon [TS]

00:38:31   curtain we just had a bunch of fucking [TS]

00:38:32   fake Bruce Springsteen songs here the [TS]

00:38:35   animal all go down together that's [TS]

00:38:37   different is that that's not allentown [TS]

00:38:39   that's a goodnight Saigon hello hello [TS]

00:38:41   hanoi what's that cult there was there [TS]

00:38:43   was a certain point in the psychological [TS]

00:38:45   a certain point in the Canon of Billy [TS]

00:38:47   Joel yeah which I like to man that can [TS]

00:38:51   but which I locate somewhere around the [TS]

00:38:54   first note that Billy Joel ever saying [TS]

00:38:56   where I started that is so just if that [TS]

00:38:59   it's really terrible like a light John [TS]

00:39:02   I'm still stinging over the kiss thing [TS]

00:39:03   but you know what I'm not gonna take [TS]

00:39:05   that would be [TS]

00:39:05   show you know what their you maybe you [TS]

00:39:07   could say stranger you want to say [TS]

00:39:09   glasshouses fine you know that's fine [TS]

00:39:12   you know I'm just saying you want to [TS]

00:39:13   model the red a bottle of wine offer [TS]

00:39:16   later but they can't because the mood [TS]

00:39:20   tonight you tell me you like piano man [TS]

00:39:22   all I do not [TS]

00:39:24   it's a white piano man at all i don't [TS]

00:39:27   like pni at all i think that's what you [TS]

00:39:30   don't like the last verse of that song [TS]

00:39:32   that doesn't sound like a cut you like [TS]

00:39:35   that [TS]

00:39:36   this isn't the piano man is a perfect [TS]

00:39:38   example of how the American listening [TS]

00:39:42   public has no clothes [TS]

00:39:44   oh Jesus a people respond to this guy [TS]

00:39:47   sitting up there with his horseshit [TS]

00:39:50   story and they're like mom yours [TS]

00:39:54   so you're so fucking dead inside but [TS]

00:39:59   that said I think allentown is a [TS]

00:40:01   kick-ass jam you know what it is if even [TS]

00:40:04   if it had different words i think you [TS]

00:40:06   know what's weird about billy joel is I [TS]

00:40:08   think some of his strongest songs like [TS]

00:40:10   Halle notes are mid-tempo numbers i [TS]

00:40:13   think america is afraid of a good [TS]

00:40:15   mid-tempo song i loved holla notes [TS]

00:40:17   oh well think about how no no no no [TS]

00:40:22   yeah what is that what song is that it's [TS]

00:40:25   a president of those holiday songs [TS]

00:40:28   private oh by the way I've been told by [TS]

00:40:30   numerous people including my friend dr. [TS]

00:40:31   Donald Schaffner that when you sing the [TS]

00:40:33   Janet Jackson version of my name sing it [TS]

00:40:35   Merlin Mann they're watching you [TS]

00:40:39   sorry I did that did that probably a [TS]

00:40:43   little bit court while probably it as [TS]

00:40:45   that's interesting try Tracy unisex and [TS]

00:40:47   fight into the Santa to privatize Merlin [TS]

00:40:51   Mann is one you missed it you missed a [TS]

00:40:53   little you missed a little Sandow melon [TS]

00:40:56   man okay we'll have to my gosh on three [TS]

00:41:03   babe it i have that I think the reason [TS]

00:41:06   that allentown is such a great Jam is it [TS]

00:41:08   uses that same shake like faking [TS]

00:41:12   synthesizing flake and sound well you [TS]

00:41:14   know that I think in allentown it's [TS]

00:41:16   meant to symbolize the [TS]

00:41:18   the sledge hammer hitting the yeah yeah [TS]

00:41:22   yeahs think it's or whatever but that's [TS]

00:41:24   the same exact sound that is in ZZ Top's [TS]

00:41:27   sleeping bag which is which is the last [TS]

00:41:32   goodnight this is that the sleeper on [TS]

00:41:34   what's called a destroyer destroy rock [TS]

00:41:37   and roll over within the exterminator [TS]

00:41:39   it's a one-note see the the record after [TS]

00:41:41   eliminating one of the master records of [TS]

00:41:43   the eighties and the record after that [TS]

00:41:45   after they became cartoons & got more [TS]

00:41:48   like the synthesizers work i keep [TS]

00:41:50   interrupting I'm sorry it was [TS]

00:41:51   synthesized really worked and what you [TS]

00:41:53   said you've written about this that's [TS]

00:41:54   your favorite for you [TS]

00:41:55   actually what was that NPR you are [TS]

00:41:57   somewhere talking about eliminator I [TS]

00:41:59   keep trying to myself what you talking [TS]

00:42:00   about that talk about it everywhere your [TS]

00:42:02   you if you if you ever waited for a bus [TS]

00:42:05   in seattle just at some point we've had [TS]

00:42:07   this conversation because I go up to [TS]

00:42:08   people at bus stops and I say listen [TS]

00:42:10   have you ever really listened to [TS]

00:42:11   eliminate or now I know it's [TS]

00:42:13   non-canonical I know you're supposed to [TS]

00:42:14   only like the the you know tres hombres [TS]

00:42:18   era of ZZ top but I swear to you [TS]

00:42:20   eliminator is a is a subscriber you on [TS]

00:42:24   the crackpot Jesse thorn thing he [TS]

00:42:26   described extremely well I think you as [TS]

00:42:28   well as you can articulate and it's not [TS]

00:42:30   really that good [TS]

00:42:31   I think you made a really good case for [TS]

00:42:32   it but here's the problem after problem [TS]

00:42:34   the record that came right after [TS]

00:42:36   eliminator and you used all the same [TS]

00:42:38   formula afterburner was just uh it was [TS]

00:42:42   just a steaming plate of horseshit [TS]

00:42:45   terrible didn't take the synthesizer [TS]

00:42:48   because the synthesizer part of what [TS]

00:42:49   really makes that the previous record [TS]

00:42:50   work they did they kind of over do it [TS]

00:42:52   justice either i was that it was the [TS]

00:42:54   since onyx drums it was all that was all [TS]

00:42:57   the fake sounds the problem with [TS]

00:42:58   afterburners that they forgot that that [TS]

00:43:00   that there needs to be a long guitar [TS]

00:43:02   solo in the center of every tune [TS]

00:43:03   treatment you can it was easy top tune [TS]

00:43:06   and not have it [TS]

00:43:07   this is the thing ACDC never forgot come [TS]

00:43:10   to the solo [TS]

00:43:11   mhm you modulate up a half a step and [TS]

00:43:15   you and the center of the tune has to be [TS]

00:43:17   a guitar solo that's awesome that's an [TS]

00:43:19   awesome tricky underused using half-step [TS]

00:43:22   recently etf you EDF and any you don't [TS]

00:43:26   it's not a thing where it's not a thing [TS]

00:43:27   where you sing the chorus again [TS]

00:43:29   half-assed right now the structures [TS]

00:43:30   change which a modulator [TS]

00:43:32   for the guitar solo and then you come [TS]

00:43:34   back down and no one even notices that [TS]

00:43:36   happened but it makes you are so not [TS]

00:43:38   fresh is everything we don't also like I [TS]

00:43:40   like yeah my band do this on a couple on [TS]

00:43:42   the EEG they can all right I'm gonna [TS]

00:43:46   write that down and come back to [TS]

00:43:47   something very important that happen [TS]

00:43:48   I've been seeing bacon right a lot [TS]

00:43:50   lately okay why i say you want somebody [TS]

00:43:52   remastered are our bar good record for [TS]

00:43:54   us [TS]

00:43:55   somebody but using the technology that [TS]

00:43:57   we did not have an extra 90 remaster [TS]

00:43:59   record and it's completely different [TS]

00:44:01   make you listen to country music [TS]

00:44:03   you did it like pro bono or he did it he [TS]

00:44:05   has a friend of ours who like you know [TS]

00:44:06   it's like friends with Tom shower and [TS]

00:44:08   stuff he's a really good producer in [TS]

00:44:09   florida of all places and he is has the [TS]

00:44:12   ability [TS]

00:44:13   jon is it possible to go into stuff like [TS]

00:44:15   he added separation to the drums [TS]

00:44:18   it's crazy he must have liked the [TS]

00:44:19   equalizer from Hell example anyway this [TS]

00:44:22   is a boring wasn't say tejas lagrange [TS]

00:44:25   ZZTop synthesizers god damn it hold it [TS]

00:44:30   hold it don't ya we'll find out that [TS]

00:44:35   Shawn Nelson was the one that pointed [TS]

00:44:36   this out to me that is a peso piece that [TS]

00:44:38   there's a there's a kind of southern [TS]

00:44:40   accent that ZZ top resorts to sometimes [TS]

00:44:43   but also be CRO ccr ccr does it and and [TS]

00:44:48   and jackie gleason as the sheriff in in [TS]

00:44:53   Smokey and the Bandit also had it where [TS]

00:44:56   the southern accent takes on characters [TS]

00:44:58   of a kind of Queens Bronx accent hey did [TS]

00:45:03   I grapevine [TS]

00:45:05   yeah I heard it through the grapevine [TS]

00:45:06   like we're what where those two accents [TS]

00:45:09   both both come up with the the herd to [TS]

00:45:13   hoid well you you'll remember a few [TS]

00:45:16   episodes ago when i was doing haha i [TS]

00:45:20   think it comes from i think it comes [TS]

00:45:22   from would that be that that's the one [TS]

00:45:24   that doesn't Charlie Patton is not some [TS]

00:45:26   house what is it that's it doesn't it's [TS]

00:45:28   not exactly Chicago what would you call [TS]

00:45:29   that when you do the you know not back [TS]

00:45:32   to the product but when you do that what [TS]

00:45:33   style is that Delta that's not really [TS]

00:45:35   dealt around [TS]

00:45:37   but I think that's that kind of leg I [TS]

00:45:40   think that's where that comes from [TS]

00:45:41   I think it comes from some kind of not [TS]

00:45:42   quite Robert Johnson Arab lose but not [TS]

00:45:45   quite Chicago blues you know saying but [TS]

00:45:49   before the before the musical aspect [TS]

00:45:51   evidence the way people actually talked [TS]

00:45:53   down [TS]

00:45:54   oh yeah it sounds a lot like I like the [TS]

00:45:56   way people sound in backing up and get [TS]

00:46:19   back in the fucking man i got the blues [TS]

00:46:21   are you do have the blue got this I got [TS]

00:46:23   the blues from my baby by the simple [TS]

00:46:24   francisco bay i have the blue so bad [TS]

00:46:27   that I that I forgot to play the blues [TS]

00:46:28   and if that doesn't give a person the [TS]

00:46:31   blue you know what I screw up sometimes [TS]

00:46:32   can tell you what I do this is so [TS]

00:46:34   embarrassing this is worse than [TS]

00:46:35   masturbating on a sandwich in a bathtub [TS]

00:46:37   sometimes usually they're sometimes [TS]

00:46:39   accidentally yeah and it's not i'm not [TS]

00:46:43   trying to do some twelve-tone thing your [TS]

00:46:44   son's I actually that accidentally do 10 [TS]

00:46:47   bar blues or 14 bar please [TS]

00:46:49   what's wrong with that well I don't [TS]

00:46:51   think that's right the there's no right [TS]

00:46:53   in blues huh [TS]

00:46:56   I mean I'm sorry there's no wrong and [TS]

00:46:57   blues there's no wrong and blue like [TS]

00:47:00   it's ping-pong talk right now there's no [TS]

00:47:02   wrong and blues and just like there's no [TS]

00:47:04   wrong in jazz I think it's funny that is [TS]

00:47:06   such a misconception about jazz is if [TS]

00:47:09   you if you play a wrong note you just [TS]

00:47:10   play it three more times and it's it's a [TS]

00:47:12   motif can't lose and I don't you know [TS]

00:47:15   what I think throw anything in a blue so [TS]

00:47:17   i think that works for monk and i think [TS]

00:47:18   that works from Miles Davis i think most [TS]

00:47:20   people just aren't practicing enough the [TS]

00:47:21   other people you get you kicked out like [TS]

00:47:22   Chet Baker i think most people there you [TS]

00:47:25   know there's a lot of tremendously badge [TS]

00:47:27   as they're all john-john Roderick oh [TS]

00:47:30   there I need a much much bigger card [TS]

00:47:32   attached as I got such a problem patch [TS]

00:47:34   as you can do you know my dad's my dad's [TS]

00:47:36   a premise about jazz [TS]

00:47:38   I don't he is to say when do it with [TS]

00:47:44   their stop being eight saxophones and [TS]

00:47:46   there was only one guy soloing the whole [TS]

00:47:48   time that's not chance that [TS]

00:47:50   just everybody sold at the everybody [TS]

00:47:52   souls that one's my dad stopped [TS]

00:47:55   listening to music in nineteen or stop [TS]

00:47:56   listening to new music in 1950 smart as [TS]

00:48:00   a pretty decent ride this is the Collin [TS]

00:48:02   I got trad jazz [TS]

00:48:03   well he wouldn't even call it that it [TS]

00:48:05   was big band jazz [TS]

00:48:07   yeah what he listened to the day died [TS]

00:48:09   all big band can be fun and listen to us [TS]

00:48:11   with the passion I mean it's not like he [TS]

00:48:13   loud [TS]

00:48:14   yeah he didn't he didn't like his [TS]

00:48:17   appreciation of music and trail off he [TS]

00:48:19   just listened to the same Benny Goodman [TS]

00:48:22   records really out Basie and Duke [TS]

00:48:25   Ellington and and you know he listened [TS]

00:48:28   to him and he had friends that I mean [TS]

00:48:30   they they they traded tapes these guys [TS]

00:48:33   was he born in what like late twenties [TS]

00:48:35   early thirties early early twenties [TS]

00:48:37   19-21 you have got to be kidding me he [TS]

00:48:40   had a friend that owned a record store [TS]

00:48:41   he was 45 when you're born [TS]

00:48:45   yeah oh my god but he and his friend [TS]

00:48:49   would make him [TS]

00:48:50   8tracks of these I like he would [TS]

00:48:56   discover these live cuts are these these [TS]

00:48:59   a these kind of seaside or not be side [TS]

00:49:03   but like unreleased tracks that these [TS]

00:49:06   guys would they cut it cut it to maybe [TS]

00:49:08   like I think we got a better one but [TS]

00:49:10   somehow the the original cut would [TS]

00:49:12   survive and he would put these on these [TS]

00:49:13   these eight tracks we had all these [TS]

00:49:15   eight tracks that happens most the [TS]

00:49:16   Elevens most best-known record is like [TS]

00:49:18   three takes of each side right like what [TS]

00:49:22   is it was called such a scoring scoring [TS]

00:49:24   h in the village what's called see that [TS]

00:49:27   relationship sure jazz that's a [TS]

00:49:29   preventive start round 11 seeing you had [TS]

00:49:31   problems but I think you're totally [TS]

00:49:32   right and you know what I think long [TS]

00:49:34   before the grateful dead in the fish i [TS]

00:49:35   think there were people especially I [TS]

00:49:37   think that's being the real to real [TS]

00:49:38   people [TS]

00:49:39   I remember when you first could record [TS]

00:49:40   on the eight tracks but I think at that [TS]

00:49:41   time some people look down their nose [TS]

00:49:44   this you know i don't know a lot of [TS]

00:49:45   people like this but you know my parents [TS]

00:49:47   friends who are really into that kind of [TS]

00:49:49   music and where the guy that had a whole [TS]

00:49:52   wall of reals [TS]

00:49:53   yeah well know those people and their [TS]

00:49:55   people to this day probably can but John [TS]

00:49:56   Vanderslice slide into that at some [TS]

00:49:57   point probably just think all you think [TS]

00:50:00   he said in that direction where is audio [TS]

00:50:03   philly actin up when he needs to [TS]

00:50:04   he needs to get all his music on [TS]

00:50:06   reel-to-reel yeah that's that's a real [TS]

00:50:10   commitment even at the time it was a [TS]

00:50:12   real commitment but i reckon he's a shy [TS]

00:50:15   because of the guys with the Macintosh [TS]

00:50:17   stereo was never if my dad had four [TS]

00:50:21   hundred dollars [TS]

00:50:22   yeah and he was looking at a Macintosh [TS]

00:50:24   receiver that was four hundred dollars [TS]

00:50:26   mcintosh the cost of stereo the costly [TS]

00:50:29   staring again not mcintosh the later [TS]

00:50:31   computer he was looking at him at a four [TS]

00:50:35   dollar store he had four dollars and 400 [TS]

00:50:37   other stereo or door number 2 a.a an [TS]

00:50:43   Apple crate with ten forty dollar [TS]

00:50:48   stereos and it's my dad would absolutely [TS]

00:50:51   by the Apple crate and think he had [TS]

00:50:54   gotten a hell of a deal easier but these [TS]

00:50:56   from a certain time they would come in [TS]

00:50:57   and be like look at all these stereos I [TS]

00:50:59   got and I would pick through and I'd be [TS]

00:51:01   like that this is all garbage [TS]

00:51:03   he's like what are you talking about i [TS]

00:51:04   got 10 of them and then there'd be these [TS]

00:51:06   like little shit stereos all over the [TS]

00:51:08   house [TS]

00:51:09   well you know all of them sounded like [TS]

00:51:11   you're listening to music through a [TS]

00:51:12   phone dead like it's great i got 10 of [TS]

00:51:15   these I everything our family ever got [TS]

00:51:18   are there is no one wider than our [TS]

00:51:19   family and everything that they got came [TS]

00:51:21   for some kind of special offer i'm [TS]

00:51:24   pretty sure like everything we got [TS]

00:51:25   started with like S&H Green Stamps for [TS]

00:51:28   joining Columbia House we didn't have [TS]

00:51:30   green stamps on the west coast or at [TS]

00:51:32   least I never saw one there's two kinds [TS]

00:51:34   they they battled they were like the [TS]

00:51:36   pennies and sears there's like S&H Green [TS]

00:51:38   Stamps and there's another 1i don't have [TS]

00:51:40   to [TS]

00:51:41   smh is part of the problem you know what [TS]

00:51:42   I just a very very important story that [TS]

00:51:44   i have to tell you at some point about [TS]

00:51:46   the day I got somebody else's package [TS]

00:51:48   from Columbia House it changed [TS]

00:51:50   everything [TS]

00:51:51   oh my goodness they ordered some talking [TS]

00:51:53   heads records or something [TS]

00:51:54   well you're not gonna love this because [TS]

00:51:56   i know you don't love all these but ok [TS]

00:51:57   what was in somebody else's was in quote [TS]

00:52:01   somebody else's columbia records package [TS]

00:52:03   or you know this is a huge rack and i [TS]

00:52:04   just read about this one guy that had [TS]

00:52:07   not like a thousand times signed up yet [TS]

00:52:09   fake pio boxes but we got the 10 records [TS]

00:52:12   for a penny and then under she sailed [TS]

00:52:14   out [TS]

00:52:15   trying I'm trying to get units this week [TS]

00:52:16   I've been busy with the stuff but there [TS]

00:52:18   was a wonderful article about the [TS]

00:52:20   decline of Columbia House and not enough [TS]

00:52:22   because ripping them off [TS]

00:52:24   well that's part of it but it's also [TS]

00:52:25   just the change in you know everything [TS]

00:52:27   you know what they were going through [TS]

00:52:29   the change [TS]

00:52:29   yeah yeah they did them in the monarchy [TS]

00:52:31   of music that's really good [TS]

00:52:34   so what was in this work that is good i [TS]

00:52:37   probably man and that was really good [TS]

00:52:39   tell me about what was in that record [TS]

00:52:41   package for people are just tuning in [TS]

00:52:43   like to do a really quick review of all [TS]

00:52:44   the things that we haven't gotten to [TS]

00:52:46   talk about just the ones I can you break [TS]

00:52:47   it down [TS]

00:52:48   you ready yeah this is just this is just [TS]

00:52:50   the ones i caught ephedrine and mucinex [TS]

00:52:51   being oh yeah oh I need to talk about [TS]

00:52:53   both of those I know John this is the [TS]

00:52:55   problem is what we need to move to a [TS]

00:52:56   daily format being famous before 27 the [TS]

00:53:00   tertiary problem of greatness [TS]

00:53:02   hospitality on o our mall NIMBY and why [TS]

00:53:05   it's your fault why hit the new york [TS]

00:53:07   times that my three favorite kinds of [TS]

00:53:09   Subway sandwiches extra meat for a [TS]

00:53:10   dollar throwing fish and or goats the [TS]

00:53:12   double musky what is the difference [TS]

00:53:14   penis sheep and a goat a friend you have [TS]

00:53:16   that makes whole animal meals as a [TS]

00:53:18   business that's vs detroit and I want [TS]

00:53:20   you to talk about Detroit you don't like [TS]

00:53:21   the piano man what my to my really what [TS]

00:53:25   we have talked with us making my to [TS]

00:53:26   karaoke song I want to talk about just [TS]

00:53:28   don't worry karaoke and we'll talk about [TS]

00:53:30   Jesse thorn how my question is does get [TS]

00:53:32   the end it was your question did you get [TS]

00:53:35   to the end of the list was only just [TS]

00:53:36   said a minute ago I will talk about [TS]

00:53:38   Detroit say so much as 40 i will talk [TS]

00:53:41   about Jesse thorns yeah all different [TS]

00:53:43   show the disability Givens play with the [TS]

00:53:45   peso mcintosh purchase macintosh and [TS]

00:53:49   fair lights my to idea of the most [TS]

00:53:50   expensive things in the world in [TS]

00:53:52   Columbia House did you know that one of [TS]

00:53:56   the first record I ever bought ways that [TS]

00:53:57   we go was the 8-track of studio 50 [TS]

00:54:01   greatest hits of studio 54 [TS]

00:54:02   I love disco that was I got that off the [TS]

00:54:05   television what era we talk about 77 77 [TS]

00:54:08   yeah I was it was one of those like get [TS]

00:54:10   it now we're going to studio 54 on [TS]

00:54:13   8-track cassette I had so many things [TS]

00:54:16   like you know I have went from Keitel [TS]

00:54:17   called solid gold [TS]

00:54:18   it still has like some of my favorite [TS]

00:54:20   it's got like renegade my record doctor [TS]

00:54:23   give me the news maybe god oh my god oh [TS]

00:54:27   bad guys loving you had any track of a [TS]

00:54:31   surprise silly Joel didn't write that [TS]

00:54:32   and it with that like overdone vibrato [TS]

00:54:36   oppado matter never double would it [TS]

00:54:41   sound so much like born to be wild [TS]

00:54:43   Oh John that's hard like not all fake [TS]

00:54:47   working guy thing even if even if you [TS]

00:54:50   mean Billy Joel began talking about [TS]

00:54:52   Bruce Springsteen's I made me a little [TS]

00:54:53   mad i'm going to talk about Brewster [TS]

00:54:55   it's not that rich he's not i don't [TS]

00:54:57   think he's a I don't think I think he's [TS]

00:54:59   protecting it's pretty fucking rich [TS]

00:55:00   yeah oh he's rich are you kidding me [TS]

00:55:03   he can't he can't eat anything he wants [TS]

00:55:05   in anybody's bathtub Bruce Springsteen [TS]

00:55:08   rides a llama out to the mailbox in the [TS]

00:55:11   corner like i did a giant novelty-sized [TS]

00:55:15   mailbox the whole do giant novelty-sized [TS]

00:55:17   checks he has a got actually he has a [TS]

00:55:19   whole bunch of little people who ride [TS]

00:55:21   llamas around his estate on its behalf [TS]

00:55:24   so I'll just like him [TS]

00:55:26   it's like that island of dr. Moreau know [TS]

00:55:31   he has a he has he has ostriches roaming [TS]

00:55:34   his whole estates and and they had [TS]

00:55:36   people riding them joust in each other [TS]

00:55:39   where's that video games like I love the [TS]

00:55:41   video game just I want to buy my 25 [TS]

00:55:45   oxygens I want to see it [TS]

00:55:47   I want to see it in real life imagine [TS]

00:55:49   the horror of going to Bruce Springsteen [TS]

00:55:51   estate and it's all real life video [TS]

00:55:53   games and you're like holy shit he goes [TS]

00:55:55   yes you might question remember a little [TS]

00:55:57   game called burger time and really [TS]

00:55:59   should go [TS]

00:56:00   did you call me an ostrich like big dog [TS]

00:56:02   let's go down in the basement I have a [TS]

00:56:03   glass wall we can see them working do [TS]

00:56:05   you have this is a performative [TS]

00:56:08   self-serving questions you haven't you [TS]

00:56:10   have a karaoke song i hate karaoke took [TS]

00:56:14   that was not the question John you have [TS]

00:56:15   a very pleasant holiday for me I do i do [TS]

00:56:18   oh it's so trying John ok i do have a [TS]

00:56:22   karaoke song understand and well it's um [TS]

00:56:25   I'm which mccalla brandy its Brandi that [TS]

00:56:33   you're a fine girl [TS]

00:56:36   I have you would be such a girl my love [TS]

00:56:40   and malena is this data it's a it's a [TS]

00:56:45   great tune it is a great tune about Baba [TS]

00:56:48   and the reason that it's my karaoke song [TS]

00:56:50   is that it falls just right in my [TS]

00:56:52   register [TS]

00:56:53   that's right you that's the key that [TS]

00:56:54   there's two keys to come sorry there's [TS]

00:56:56   2,000 karaoke one of them is so the [TS]

00:56:58   second one is it must be in range the [TS]

00:56:59   first one is you must have the slightest [TS]

00:57:01   clue how the song goes [TS]

00:57:02   but this is the problem with Brandi yeah [TS]

00:57:04   it falls right i was about to say as it [TS]

00:57:07   falls right in my register between the [TS]

00:57:10   two places where I'm comfortable singing [TS]

00:57:12   so it's either i can sing it either an [TS]

00:57:14   octave up where it's where I'm really [TS]

00:57:16   straining it's too high but if I'm like [TS]

00:57:19   if I'm really feeling it or I sing an [TS]

00:57:22   octave down and it's too low so this is [TS]

00:57:25   why I hate karaoke because my karaoke [TS]

00:57:27   song is not in a in a comfortable range [TS]

00:57:30   that's the first thing you've hated that [TS]

00:57:32   I have any fucking sympathy for its not [TS]

00:57:35   very that is a very much in our entire [TS]

00:57:37   friendship that is the first thing I [TS]

00:57:39   hated that you've had in him [TS]

00:57:40   I can't tell if we've been friends with [TS]

00:57:42   2002-2003 pride 2009 remember the point [TS]

00:57:45   know it must be 2002 know you're [TS]

00:57:47   completely unsympathetic character but [TS]

00:57:49   you just accidentally showed a little [TS]

00:57:50   bit of yourself not we talking about [TS]

00:57:51   masturbating with a submarine sandwich [TS]

00:57:53   but when you brought it out the terms [TS]

00:57:55   are going to citrus sandwich I'm not a [TS]

00:57:56   monster [TS]

00:58:00   taking on this easy that's terrible [TS]

00:58:02   alright [TS]