Roderick on the Line

Ep. 14: "Big City Apology"


00:00:00   hello hi John how are you I'm Merlyn [TS]

00:00:08   John Roderick yesterday [TS]

00:00:13   Marilyn ma'am I'm and I'm i notice my [TS]

00:00:18   I've got like a perfect storm of nose [TS]

00:00:20   right now I'm trying to sniff i hear [TS]

00:00:22   myself sniffing because of the allergies [TS]

00:00:24   and now on top of it [TS]

00:00:25   I some kind of like a Drivetime DJ don't [TS]

00:00:27   listen to you you're all of you feel [TS]

00:00:30   around that's about 28 minutes before [TS]

00:00:32   the hour of 7mm here on cue 1074 I you [TS]

00:00:38   know I turned up my my headphones and [TS]

00:00:40   now i'm i'm racing over here to turn [TS]

00:00:43   them down but I understand completely [TS]

00:00:45   ok let's do some deep cuts yeah yeah [TS]

00:00:49   you're right heat was i I like this see [TS]

00:00:54   right here is one of those bands like [TS]

00:00:55   bending his attaché guys gold earring [TS]

00:00:59   holder golden earring like there's an [TS]

00:01:02   antique and antiqued know there's a [TS]

00:01:04   there's a much greater difference [TS]

00:01:06   between antique and antiqued what about [TS]

00:01:08   golden isn't that like saying chocolaty [TS]

00:01:10   and so it's a weasel word that Colton in [TS]

00:01:12   touch [TS]

00:01:12   is that right a visual verbal here's the [TS]

00:01:15   levees don't make fun don't you see [TS]

00:01:17   you're already ping-pong like 30 seconds [TS]

00:01:19   it well man I some stop what you're [TS]

00:01:22   doing some really good you do that good [TS]

00:01:25   to him but you know what i mean here's [TS]

00:01:27   the thing on I'm gonna take some phlegm [TS]

00:01:29   up in my nails are you think oh wait [TS]

00:01:32   that down i definitely will come back to [TS]

00:01:33   the flames because i had I'm got a new [TS]

00:01:37   kind of payment cards when I noticed you [TS]

00:01:42   you're helping someone on twitter by [TS]

00:01:44   explaining that format does involve them [TS]

00:01:45   well ya see I want people to understand [TS]

00:01:49   that well you know the thing I really [TS]

00:01:54   want people don't even sleeping be [TS]

00:01:55   honest I have a little high I want [TS]

00:01:59   people to understand the googles their [TS]

00:02:01   friend and that if they if they don't [TS]

00:02:02   understand something that they can look [TS]

00:02:04   looking solid john-john that should just [TS]

00:02:06   be my bio like I had to tell us in my [TS]

00:02:09   family and everybody like I [TS]

00:02:11   and a card what was discarded he's there [TS]

00:02:14   I'm like I don't ever said when you [TS]

00:02:15   think I've never said anything including [TS]

00:02:18   including copying right-to-left Hebrew [TS]

00:02:21   words I've never said anything on [TS]

00:02:23   Twitter the cheapest you couldn't google [TS]

00:02:24   yeah right well there's nothing you [TS]

00:02:27   can't google but when I was when I was [TS]

00:02:29   born my parents bought a set of [TS]

00:02:33   encyclopedias for the year that i was [TS]

00:02:35   born right 1968 the tumultuous year for [TS]

00:02:40   our insecurities it was a big year i was [TS]

00:02:42   born during the johnson administration [TS]

00:02:43   in the waning days of what America was [TS]

00:02:46   great you were born during the waning [TS]

00:02:48   Johnson's mr. i was born at the very [TS]

00:02:50   tail end of the Johnson that's like [TS]

00:02:53   about his pants and his balls down when [TS]

00:02:56   I was a kid what was that was one of the [TS]

00:02:58   things that you did on a Saturday [TS]

00:02:59   afternoon or at least one of the things [TS]

00:03:01   i did no one did it with me but you see [TS]

00:03:03   he would sit indian-style in front of [TS]

00:03:05   the encyclopedias and pull them out and [TS]

00:03:08   don't wanna a you know a little uh a [TS]

00:03:13   chase through the books right you start [TS]

00:03:16   reading something and then you find [TS]

00:03:18   something you don't understand you pull [TS]

00:03:19   another book out and figure out what the [TS]

00:03:22   thing was that you didn't understand the [TS]

00:03:23   last entry some pretty soon you get 10 [TS]

00:03:26   encyclopedias all open a different pages [TS]

00:03:28   by who didn't do that that was a that [TS]

00:03:30   was the thing in the sixties and [TS]

00:03:32   seventies that I mean that was what [TS]

00:03:34   encyclopedias were for the floor before [TS]

00:03:35   Edgar Rice Burroughs and transformers I [TS]

00:03:38   think this is you talk to your pal [TS]

00:03:39   Hodgman about this i'm telling you every [TS]

00:03:42   nerd started out doing exactly that thin [TS]

00:03:44   bones and asthma you just gonna sit [TS]

00:03:48   there and you're going oh other kids [TS]

00:03:50   were put were throwing balls or [TS]

00:03:53   something and and and there's nothing I [TS]

00:03:56   like better than a rainy afternoon [TS]

00:03:58   sitting in front of the other in front [TS]

00:04:01   of the books so what we wearing you have [TS]

00:04:03   a special outfit at that time I didn't [TS]

00:04:05   have a idea had a pair of orange denim [TS]

00:04:08   jeans and a shirt [TS]

00:04:12   not coincidentally or were probably [TS]

00:04:14   coincidentally a a baseball shirt that [TS]

00:04:19   had remember when they when they first [TS]

00:04:21   developed the technology where they [TS]

00:04:22   could photo they could print a photo [TS]

00:04:24   so on a t-shirt was huge i'm not sure [TS]

00:04:26   about an iron-on i'm talking about that [TS]

00:04:28   printed photo in right fabric somehow [TS]

00:04:32   and it was a photo of a baseball game [TS]

00:04:34   but the sleeves were also orange so it [TS]

00:04:37   was a matches a photo of a baseball game [TS]

00:04:40   oh yeah so some guy hitting up hitting a [TS]

00:04:42   baseball out of the park it wasn't [TS]

00:04:44   stylized know it was a photograph [TS]

00:04:47   hmm it looks like that's the [TS]

00:04:49   sartorialist version of Gutenberg that's [TS]

00:04:50   huge leap forward before that everything [TS]

00:04:53   we're just doing doing fucking [TS]

00:04:54   hieroglyphics on clothes [TS]

00:04:55   what changed everything people were [TS]

00:04:57   sewing letters on people were sewing [TS]

00:04:59   like little fabric letters that said [TS]

00:05:03   King talk to King Tut's hurricanes or [TS]

00:05:05   whatever I was huge i was general derail [TS]

00:05:08   this but I was huge on the iron a shirt [TS]

00:05:10   with my name on the shoulders i was [TS]

00:05:13   really sure because you had a killer [TS]

00:05:15   name is and i can't imagine being an [TS]

00:05:17   eight-year-old kid with the name Merlin [TS]

00:05:19   Muro Muro Beckett husband haha oh girl [TS]

00:05:24   well yeah this is blowing my mind the [TS]

00:05:27   front would be that famous shot you know [TS]

00:05:29   this awesome lego star wars first came [TS]

00:05:30   out had to me this is still star wars in [TS]

00:05:32   my head to my head Star Wars is like the [TS]

00:05:34   Millennium fucking in the movie and it's [TS]

00:05:36   those a few handful of pictures that you [TS]

00:05:40   saw everywhere right and remember had [TS]

00:05:42   star wars at-at like a 45 degree angle [TS]

00:05:44   and then there's a black and white [TS]

00:05:46   border around it and middle there's a [TS]

00:05:47   picture of chewy and Han Solo with [TS]

00:05:50   blasters you don't even remember this is [TS]

00:05:52   the one where hhonors concept the [TS]

00:05:54   blaster and he's he's kinda he's holding [TS]

00:05:57   Princess Leia behind him as he shoots [TS]

00:05:59   down so it's kind of hot [TS]

00:06:01   oh that's what I'm saying that was [TS]

00:06:03   probably the hardest thing i could I had [TS]

00:06:05   that with my 77 Merle on the back and I [TS]

00:06:07   believe my age being 10 always had my h0 [TS]

00:06:12   10 but let the work you up [TS]

00:06:17   I'm so sorry to derail you so you don't [TS]

00:06:19   know you're curious like the media in [TS]

00:06:21   orange and said Merle Haggard's real [TS]

00:06:23   name is Merlin I don't I think that's at [TS]

00:06:28   the acc from Bakersfield is that correct [TS]

00:06:31   no moral Hagar's from you sure i don't [TS]

00:06:34   know any place we google that but my [TS]

00:06:36   sense is not going to see actually [TS]

00:06:38   from Bakersfield uh buck owens is pretty [TS]

00:06:42   well associated with Baker's whistles [TS]

00:06:44   more Haggard he's like number tune after [TS]

00:06:46   i'm sorry/not number two that's not [TS]

00:06:47   that's not right that with that dawn now [TS]

00:06:50   help me out dawn [TS]

00:06:51   oh my god John I think my starts moving [TS]

00:06:54   down noisy star player in the harmony in [TS]

00:06:58   the buckaroos the due to record songs [TS]

00:06:59   died in a motorcycle crash ruined uh [TS]

00:07:01   bucks life [TS]

00:07:03   dawn can break in my room oh what's his [TS]

00:07:06   name but I think merle haggard is from [TS]

00:07:07   Oklahoma are you not familiar with the [TS]

00:07:09   buckaroos I cannot freely with buckle [TS]

00:07:12   ones are you just you just kind of [TS]

00:07:13   comeback by are you doing like some kind [TS]

00:07:15   of wait wait don't tell me think we're [TS]

00:07:16   just act like you know what you're [TS]

00:07:17   talking about [TS]

00:07:18   yes I am i I'm familiar with phones in [TS]

00:07:21   the buckaroos but the but the background [TS]

00:07:23   God back battaile buckaroos are just [TS]

00:07:28   some guys in some suits don't i don't [TS]

00:07:31   know i don't know individual buckaroo [TS]

00:07:33   that's like saying Peter chris is just a [TS]

00:07:35   drunk with some pearl drums he's [TS]

00:07:38   actually a lot like that apparently he's [TS]

00:07:40   barely just a front I don't know why [TS]

00:07:42   don't put him on a stool don't want to [TS]

00:07:44   stool with no arms or back it just seems [TS]

00:07:47   like a terrible idea [TS]

00:07:48   Peter Criss was just in that band for [TS]

00:07:50   the interview sessions because he was [TS]

00:07:52   using the time tonight you ever seen the [TS]

00:07:53   Tom Snyder interview you know here's my [TS]

00:07:56   thing with kiss okay [TS]

00:07:57   oh boy ok ok kiss I i devoted i devoted [TS]

00:08:02   a week from small amount of my attention [TS]

00:08:04   to kiss in 1977 tonight probably 77 with [TS]

00:08:09   both that simply 677 they already jumped [TS]

00:08:13   the shark by then this is probably [TS]

00:08:14   destroy this is when they were already [TS]

00:08:16   on the way down [TS]

00:08:17   I was eight there was some part of me [TS]

00:08:19   that that but that had one eye on kiss [TS]

00:08:23   because it seemed like maybe that's the [TS]

00:08:25   direction that being it but being an [TS]

00:08:27   adult was going to take going to [TS]

00:08:29   actually I'm sorry Dante Kathy actually [TS]

00:08:31   clear at the age of nine you have a [TS]

00:08:33   metal reaction to kiss that involves [TS]

00:08:35   keeping an eye on them for the bedroom [TS]

00:08:37   for the cultural relevance to keep an [TS]

00:08:39   eye on but I had another ion Queen [TS]

00:08:40   didn't know which way it was gonna go [TS]

00:08:42   and i think it went [TS]

00:08:44   I think I was right to follow queen [TS]

00:08:47   absolutely but from that time from 77 [TS]

00:08:51   I have not given one flying fuck about [TS]

00:08:54   kiss and when Chris came back in [TS]

00:08:57   nineteen ninety whatever and all my [TS]

00:08:59   peers were like that they pulled out all [TS]

00:09:03   their kiss army patches and they started [TS]

00:09:06   waxing you know philosophical about how [TS]

00:09:08   important kiss was I absolutely would [TS]

00:09:12   not cross the street to save kiss from a [TS]

00:09:14   fire and and time now it's probably [TS]

00:09:17   fires started by Gene Simmons spilling [TS]

00:09:19   it was a fire that caused intentionally [TS]

00:09:21   started to get my attention and i would [TS]

00:09:24   i would not watch i would not invite a [TS]

00:09:26   couple of water i would not walk over [TS]

00:09:27   and throw it on the fire that was [TS]

00:09:29   burning kiss I don't do anything to stop [TS]

00:09:31   me from helping people about kiss i just [TS]

00:09:33   like to have to literally two bullets on [TS]

00:09:34   this that I think you should at least [TS]

00:09:36   consider I'm not trying to change your [TS]

00:09:37   mind i'm trying to change anything [TS]

00:09:39   number 12 in guitar attack number two in [TS]

00:09:41   it for the money to that was just our [TS]

00:09:43   deck have yet to tell tell me seriously [TS]

00:09:47   right now that the hell could finish [TS]

00:09:51   your thought on keeping one eye on this [TS]

00:09:53   while I think about literally everything [TS]

00:09:56   else go ahead know haha [TS]

00:09:57   are you about to are you about to be [TS]

00:09:59   some kind of a problem with it really is [TS]

00:10:01   that way it's gonna be [TS]

00:10:02   if you took every cool riff and kiss and [TS]

00:10:06   every cool solo and kiss and I like it a [TS]

00:10:08   lot better once called legs up when [TS]

00:10:09   ticket and come back to them down they [TS]

00:10:12   would fit inside of my wallet alright [TS]

00:10:15   then you have a big wall with a change [TS]

00:10:16   you still have that under no I got rid [TS]

00:10:18   of that it back problems haha it was I [TS]

00:10:21   trying to do that with my backpack I was [TS]

00:10:24   driving I was not the time i was driving [TS]

00:10:26   what 300,000 miles a year whatever in [TS]

00:10:29   that van and I was sitting on this wall [TS]

00:10:31   that was the size of a I think much just [TS]

00:10:33   did a hipster humblebrag I had to get [TS]

00:10:36   rid of my I had to get rid of my [TS]

00:10:38   bullshit trucker wallet because it was [TS]

00:10:40   so fucking full of money that i couldn't [TS]

00:10:42   drive my rockstar van [TS]

00:10:44   it wasn't that it was full of money it's [TS]

00:10:46   that I compulsively keep every receipt [TS]

00:10:48   and also i need that money because i [TS]

00:10:51   keep wearing out zippers from letting [TS]

00:10:53   ladies for late me this is not a [TS]

00:10:55   first-world problem here's here's what [TS]

00:10:57   what happened when I have got can check [TS]

00:10:59   your wallet [TS]

00:11:00   you know i started using it as a purse [TS]

00:11:01   and and one of the things that [TS]

00:11:04   I thought I needed at a certain point [TS]

00:11:06   was I needed the equivalent of twenty [TS]

00:11:11   dollars in every one of the world's [TS]

00:11:14   currencies folded into so i would take [TS]

00:11:18   the bill when I would go to a country i [TS]

00:11:20   would get the equivalent of twenty [TS]

00:11:22   dollars in their local currency which [TS]

00:11:24   you know in Turkey was like 20 million [TS]

00:11:27   lira and i would take the building I [TS]

00:11:30   would you know I would fuck crease it [TS]

00:11:32   and fold it down until it was a little [TS]

00:11:34   thing of the size of two Chiclets and [TS]

00:11:38   then I would tuck the little bill inside [TS]

00:11:41   one of the compartments in my chain [TS]

00:11:43   wallet and after a couple years I had [TS]

00:11:47   like probably had six hundred dollars [TS]

00:11:50   worth of world currency probably i don't [TS]

00:11:55   know i had a whole lot of different [TS]

00:11:57   denomination so clearly you didn't need [TS]

00:12:02   or choose to kind of kind of [TS]

00:12:07   breakthrough there to take that the [TS]

00:12:09   stuff you aren't using obviously didn't [TS]

00:12:10   spend it [TS]

00:12:11   it was it wasn't like it was sort of [TS]

00:12:13   like a like a file drawer runners here's [TS]

00:12:15   the thing is remember that scene in The [TS]

00:12:19   Bourne the bourne the firstborn movie [TS]

00:12:21   where he goes into the bank in [TS]

00:12:23   Switzerland is that is stuff in a box [TS]

00:12:25   step this stuff in the box [TS]

00:12:26   I mean I know I knew that that's where [TS]

00:12:29   this was going [TS]

00:12:30   12 passports and stacks of money and all [TS]

00:12:32   these different currencies why I I can't [TS]

00:12:35   think of a thing that I want more than [TS]

00:12:37   that [TS]

00:12:38   including happiness and life including [TS]

00:12:40   health I don't want healthy to have it [TS]

00:12:42   or or like to have it in general or have [TS]

00:12:44   it when you need it you're what you [TS]

00:12:45   really want is to need it and then about [TS]

00:12:47   that's exactly right i want to need it [TS]

00:12:49   and then have it it's like a really good [TS]

00:12:51   insurance we go [TS]

00:12:52   oh yes fucking cancer and then finally [TS]

00:12:54   getting I'm finally gonna see some roi [TS]

00:12:56   on this bullshit [TS]

00:12:57   yeah but my version of really good [TS]

00:12:58   insurance is a safe deposit box in [TS]

00:13:00   Geneva with a with a Glock and seven [TS]

00:13:03   passports in the back that is I can't [TS]

00:13:07   think of a thing that that wouldn't be [TS]

00:13:09   the cure to which you remember who you [TS]

00:13:11   are when you got it doesn't matter right [TS]

00:13:14   you got a clock that means going to talk [TS]

00:13:16   with you guys could be the problem [TS]

00:13:17   that I that could be the thing that I'm [TS]

00:13:19   the reason that i needed but in any case [TS]

00:13:21   my version of that in and this is the [TS]

00:13:24   thing about the where where my mind is [TS]

00:13:26   like my version of that was that had a [TS]

00:13:28   twenty-dollar bill from Slovakia and a [TS]

00:13:31   twenty-dollar bill from Cuba in my [TS]

00:13:33   wallet in case i woke up on a flight i [TS]

00:13:37   woke up on a plane that was that had [TS]

00:13:39   landed in Havana and I was like what am [TS]

00:13:41   I gonna do I don't have any oh I do in [TS]

00:13:43   fact i have 20 nice part is if you were [TS]

00:13:45   to land in Istanbul and you you pull out [TS]

00:13:48   your like housing redbrick sized wallet [TS]

00:13:51   full of international currencies that [TS]

00:13:53   would not seem suspicious at all [TS]

00:13:54   oh I see you have what appears to be [TS]

00:13:56   approximately twenty dollars in but in [TS]

00:13:58   here with nothing were worried about [TS]

00:14:00   please pass on through [TS]

00:14:01   I don't even bother to check your ass [TS]

00:14:03   for heroin come on in if I was the type [TS]

00:14:05   of person who would sit backstage and [TS]

00:14:07   try to impress a girl by like Oh check [TS]

00:14:09   out all the different kinds of money i [TS]

00:14:11   have in my wallet that would be probably [TS]

00:14:13   one thing but I would never say never [TS]

00:14:14   seen a tuppence at the time I didn't [TS]

00:14:17   have any toppings but I did have yeah [TS]

00:14:19   that you know the bank of scotland has [TS]

00:14:21   their own pounds they make their own [TS]

00:14:23   pounds it its it's tied to the british [TS]

00:14:27   pound over there they don't have a [TS]

00:14:28   different value but they just have [TS]

00:14:30   different just it doesn't taste good you [TS]

00:14:32   know to spend it it says bank of [TS]

00:14:34   scotland on it and I had an English I'd [TS]

00:14:36   English 20-pound bill and and a bank of [TS]

00:14:39   scotland 20-pound bill through because I [TS]

00:14:42   didn't want to be caught with my pants [TS]

00:14:44   down in Scotland now youkilis and kilt [TS]

00:14:46   up you don't want to get caught with [TS]

00:14:48   your killed my wife's lipstick I we [TS]

00:14:50   missed we missed a lot right before kiss [TS]

00:14:52   I don't want to reel you please go ahead [TS]

00:14:53   and look at the time I never told [TS]

00:14:56   anybody that I had this money in my [TS]

00:14:57   wallet was like my secret it has to be a [TS]

00:15:00   secret that I used to be iced have a [TS]

00:15:01   serious wallet problem i had layers and [TS]

00:15:04   a stack of wallet problems [TS]

00:15:06   first of all almost every wall i've [TS]

00:15:07   owned up until 99 was silly i owned arm [TS]

00:15:11   I mean the one that I had for a really [TS]

00:15:12   really long time through high school and [TS]

00:15:14   we mean not I didn't bring it to college [TS]

00:15:17   but had am an unlicensed I Adam and the [TS]

00:15:20   ants wallet again in nylon sports wallet [TS]

00:15:22   no it was velcro hurts sure sure they'll [TS]

00:15:25   grow [TS]

00:15:25   hey you go to flea market by vocal [TS]

00:15:27   fucking wallet it's not licensed [TS]

00:15:29   exactly what do that yeah once I'm one [TS]

00:15:33   time I went through the wash and my my [TS]

00:15:37   mom at the time was still periodically [TS]

00:15:38   doing my wash information that's what [TS]

00:15:40   you're gonna see the difference between [TS]

00:15:42   the construction of an unlicensed a man [TS]

00:15:44   wallet that's right and proper and a and [TS]

00:15:46   one from the i should i should help for [TS]

00:15:48   the French army you know what I mean I i [TS]

00:15:51   I'm so my wallets on sits on top of the [TS]

00:15:54   dryer and I go out there and on a [TS]

00:15:56   beautiful white towel is every single [TS]

00:15:59   thing in my wallet like two dollars the [TS]

00:16:02   i'm at my learner's permit you know but [TS]

00:16:05   every like little card every little [TS]

00:16:06   subway thing except for the really old [TS]

00:16:09   condom she that was she had she [TS]

00:16:12   apparently had noticed that rut roh yeah [TS]

00:16:15   but you don't imagine being a lady and [TS]

00:16:18   just knowing that there's a bunch of [TS]

00:16:19   guys carrying around condoms that have [TS]

00:16:21   been in a hot moist wallet 44 probably [TS]

00:16:24   years I don't know what ladies let's [TS]

00:16:26   discuss these dickless wonders like me [TS]

00:16:28   carrying around a condom own if you know [TS]

00:16:30   for a while you know I had a shuriken [TS]

00:16:31   and carry with me too [TS]

00:16:33   yeah so as that's really incompatible [TS]

00:16:34   you should keep your schurken in your [TS]

00:16:36   wallet is very small and not very sharp [TS]

00:16:38   so that's going to take that to the [TS]

00:16:41   analogy and catch it up [TS]

00:16:44   wait a minute oh god is let me get my [TS]

00:16:46   wallet [TS]

00:16:47   argh i have a defense you get a minute [TS]

00:16:50   can I have a minute wait a minute wait a [TS]

00:16:52   minute is that is that that the logo for [TS]

00:16:54   Adam and the ants shut up everything [TS]

00:16:57   merle haggard was from Bakersfield [TS]

00:17:00   well it's all part of the Bakersfield oh [TS]

00:17:02   yeah we gotta come back to the buckaroos [TS]

00:17:03   was named on something it just looked it [TS]

00:17:06   up and i'll try i guess like about the [TS]

00:17:09   sureness this week i'll try to be good [TS]

00:17:10   this week um and put in places where you [TS]

00:17:13   can find these things out and now I also [TS]

00:17:14   want to point out that when i wrote or [TS]

00:17:15   kiss i use the S special SS letters [TS]

00:17:18   that's that that's basically the only [TS]

00:17:20   good thing about kiss I God is the logo [TS]

00:17:23   guitar tech nothing now the thing is [TS]

00:17:25   when I got older and I understood a [TS]

00:17:27   little more guitar about guitar I [TS]

00:17:29   realized how much and I don't get in [TS]

00:17:31   trouble with the kiss fans but how much [TS]

00:17:33   he really was [TS]

00:17:35   borrowing from jimmy page don't you [TS]

00:17:38   think it's fair to say am I being unkind [TS]

00:17:40   to say that is our garbage [TS]

00:17:43   okay yeah i wasn't really the question [TS]

00:17:45   but moving on to the next article i did [TS]

00:17:47   just yesterday watch a video produced I [TS]

00:17:50   was absolutely certain by some animals [TS]

00:17:52   are a fan of the park [TS]

00:17:53   absolutely certain it was made by [TS]

00:17:55   someone in Germany which was a video [TS]

00:17:56   comparing and contrasting the guitar [TS]

00:17:59   playing talents of jimmy page and [TS]

00:18:02   rainbows ritchie blackmore even if not [TS]

00:18:05   even close [TS]

00:18:06   well the video was conclusive that [TS]

00:18:09   Ritchie Blackmore is I mean by far the [TS]

00:18:14   better guitar player that's like meeting [TS]

00:18:16   an autistic kid on the bus and who like [TS]

00:18:18   this house better Beatles were ub40 and [TS]

00:18:20   you're like oh I'm gonna guess where he [TS]

00:18:23   goes yeah here's a tape you know [TS]

00:18:25   okay thank you and that's exactly right [TS]

00:18:28   that ritual is going to make that [TS]

00:18:29   comparison let your side ritchie [TS]

00:18:31   blackmore's by far the better guitar [TS]

00:18:33   player but who cares because he's a far [TS]

00:18:35   more tasteful guitar player i like his [TS]

00:18:37   vibrato better i jimmy page's taste can [TS]

00:18:39   sometimes be X cruel but but and also if [TS]

00:18:42   you watch live performances of Jimmy [TS]

00:18:44   totally sloppy not beyond sloppy [TS]

00:18:47   I mean he's up there like car hiring [TS]

00:18:49   behind why are dying because he's so [TS]

00:18:52   gacked out on smack etcetera is that [TS]

00:18:55   right did he do the heroin [TS]

00:18:56   oh yeah he would see you know what's [TS]

00:18:58   chasing the dragon is that what you [TS]

00:18:59   smell something what are you doing [TS]

00:19:00   chasing the dragon [TS]

00:19:02   well you're looking for the Dragons [TS]

00:19:03   treasure ok so you get a role for a [TS]

00:19:06   Christmas problem yet but no trade [TS]

00:19:08   chasing the dragon is that you are [TS]

00:19:09   always trying to recapture the recapture [TS]

00:19:13   the the initial high that you never are [TS]

00:19:17   able to capture again I think you think [TS]

00:19:19   that will walk out that I i think i know [TS]

00:19:21   i think it's i think you're supposed to [TS]

00:19:23   do something with aluminum foil and [TS]

00:19:24   singing some Willy Wonka is not a drug [TS]

00:19:26   that's not terrible and terrifying film [TS]

00:19:29   again putting only a few corners right [TS]

00:19:31   no drug person whatever say oh man I'm [TS]

00:19:33   really chasing the Willy Wonka ya [TS]

00:19:34   Alexander acting is like that and [TS]

00:19:37   gilmore girls that the cable TV show [TS]

00:19:40   number song um gold vs golden week I [TS]

00:19:44   think I don't righteously not gonna have [TS]

00:19:45   time today for flan slumbers who [TS]

00:19:48   I finished so the beatles and paul i'm [TS]

00:19:51   saving this one we don't have time for [TS]

00:19:52   that scott miller i started talking [TS]

00:19:53   about kids i'm throwing away you're done [TS]

00:19:56   with that open sky I want to come back [TS]

00:19:57   to I said bad words onto cards [TS]

00:19:59   that's right the president johnson's [TS]

00:20:00   balls o'clock in seven customers i would [TS]

00:20:02   like to probably Johnson's balls were [TS]

00:20:04   probably but each one the size of the [TS]

00:20:07   size and the hardness and weight of a [TS]

00:20:10   medicine ball I can see him being very [TS]

00:20:12   inspirational to you [TS]

00:20:14   Johnson yeah he got a really bad rap [TS]

00:20:17   because the Vietnam yeah and when and he [TS]

00:20:20   wasn't I mean he was a dick but he was [TS]

00:20:22   like he was like the Steve Jobs of [TS]

00:20:24   america back then you know he was eight [TS]

00:20:26   you hear the stories like documentaries [TS]

00:20:27   on him he's such a fascinating guy [TS]

00:20:29   because he was such a whip-like he was [TS]

00:20:32   so great it looks scaring the shit out [TS]

00:20:33   of everybody to get them all in line for [TS]

00:20:35   votes and stuff like that right right [TS]

00:20:37   but unlike Steve Jobs not a completely [TS]

00:20:40   autistic-like retard cowboy make it [TS]

00:20:44   wider come high apologies [TS]

00:20:46   so that's really classy that's very [TS]

00:20:48   classy i'm also will because of [TS]

00:20:50   apparently responses from people we [TS]

00:20:52   should talk about my rule my teacher [TS]

00:20:54   rule the rule for marriage and the rule [TS]

00:20:56   for will be careful when you meet them [TS]

00:20:57   when you finish that Don rich tone which [TS]

00:21:00   by the way down which were looking for [TS]

00:21:01   Don rich of the buckaroos vs golden i [TS]

00:21:04   say this is like antique vs antiqued [TS]

00:21:06   because a lot of people to understand [TS]

00:21:07   the distinction I know you do but it's [TS]

00:21:10   saying is very much like chocolate vs [TS]

00:21:11   chocolatey you can't say that a lot of [TS]

00:21:14   things golden chocolate vs chocolatey an [TS]

00:21:16   antique vs antiqued and something is [TS]

00:21:19   gold where they need to be golden arm [TS]

00:21:24   what are you trying to say I think this [TS]

00:21:26   is another Locker bark layer here this [TS]

00:21:28   was that said this but now the if [TS]

00:21:31   something's gold it's made out of gold [TS]

00:21:32   but something is golden [TS]

00:21:35   they don't have to be a light gold color [TS]

00:21:38   that me like a gold in it right antique [TS]

00:21:40   is something that's older than whatever [TS]

00:21:41   75 years i think it's like copyright to [TS]

00:21:43   keep changing every few years but used [TS]

00:21:45   to be 75 years [TS]

00:21:46   antique is where you make something look [TS]

00:21:47   alright alright yeah I'm going so far [TS]

00:21:51   all the singers like cocoa puffs or you [TS]

00:21:54   know or frankenberry is not actually [TS]

00:21:55   Frankenstein's and that they legally [TS]

00:21:57   cannot say that because of our love a [TS]

00:21:59   past I think he passed [TS]

00:22:01   while back i think that you could you [TS]

00:22:03   could make that golden golden comparison [TS]

00:22:06   with a with a great many words [TS]

00:22:08   absolutely i'm guessing you so Oh food [TS]

00:22:12   you say it's not natural milk way I'm [TS]

00:22:15   saying that milky like your eyes can be [TS]

00:22:17   milky but there's no milk em a good [TS]

00:22:19   point yeah okay way I like a Snickers [TS]

00:22:21   there's no milk in the Milky Way here my [TS]

00:22:24   face I think this is uh I think this is [TS]

00:22:25   an english beat thing I think this is a [TS]

00:22:27   way I'm thing when UK think i'll bet you [TS]

00:22:29   in Dutch they were gonna show you when [TS]

00:22:31   you came to differentiate them from the [TS]

00:22:33   more famous American wham same deal as [TS]

00:22:36   english beat they're called the beach in [TS]

00:22:38   England but there's already a band [TS]

00:22:39   called the beat in America so they had [TS]

00:22:42   to be English be there is already a bank [TS]

00:22:43   all wam in America they had to be when [TS]

00:22:45   UK my thought on this John Rocker would [TS]

00:22:47   like your opinion i think probably in [TS]

00:22:49   Dutch they were known as gold earring or [TS]

00:22:51   perhaps just gold jewelry and then they [TS]

00:22:52   came here and found out that all of [TS]

00:22:54   those iterations it's like buying a [TS]

00:22:56   domain name they come over and they said [TS]

00:22:57   you know what fuck you [TS]

00:22:58   Dutch there's already a gold earring no [TS]

00:23:01   because the Golden Earring first of all [TS]

00:23:03   well first of all everyone in the [TS]

00:23:05   Netherlands speaks English better than [TS]

00:23:06   you or I do so when they named their [TS]

00:23:09   band something that they don't have like [TS]

00:23:10   a Dutch name for it and then they named [TS]

00:23:12   if your band is called Golden Earring [TS]

00:23:14   named that conditionally like the [TS]

00:23:17   journalists it's not like the German [TS]

00:23:19   it's not like guilt gildan my ring ger [TS]

00:23:22   engines and it is but even the Germans [TS]

00:23:28   like the Scorpions weren't named the [TS]

00:23:30   Scorpions didn't have a que in their [TS]

00:23:32   name in Germany and a/c in America [TS]

00:23:34   they're always there was always spelled [TS]

00:23:36   scorpions with the sea and i'm just [TS]

00:23:38   guessing that they spell scorpion with [TS]

00:23:40   AK and I think it's a definite article [TS]

00:23:41   either i need to check that but i'm [TS]

00:23:43   pretty sure it's just scorpions [TS]

00:23:44   scorpions right but uh but no I think [TS]

00:23:47   Golden Earring always from the very [TS]

00:23:48   beginning [TS]

00:23:49   well because their songs in English they [TS]

00:23:51   they they intended to be intended to be [TS]

00:23:54   big stars right they didn't like start [TS]

00:23:57   out as well let's just play Dutch songs [TS]

00:23:59   for Dutch friends they're like we're [TS]

00:24:01   going we're going to the show is gonna [TS]

00:24:04   be a limit on the run the reach that [TS]

00:24:06   you're gonna get with just singing in [TS]

00:24:08   Holland [TS]

00:24:09   well let's say you could you'd be big in [TS]

00:24:11   surinam [TS]

00:24:12   is that a dozen places at a formerly [TS]

00:24:15   from the former dutch colony of sir no [TS]

00:24:18   sir does Keanu is just a touch of French [TS]

00:24:22   and British write the three key honest [TS]

00:24:24   there's one touch dr is certain on him [TS]

00:24:28   what does Dutch Dutch Guiana became [TS]

00:24:32   surinam know it was certain on and then [TS]

00:24:36   became it looked it then it is called [TS]

00:24:43   touchdown on because people find that [TS]

00:24:46   easier to say than turn on him [TS]

00:24:48   okay you know what bugs me I i really [TS]

00:24:51   hate it on NPR when they say myanmar [TS]

00:24:56   formerly known as Burma like this don't [TS]

00:24:58   do that have fucking a yes like at what [TS]

00:25:00   point like I'm deliberately avoiding NPR [TS]

00:25:03   for all kinds of reasons these days but [TS]

00:25:04   still they gonna say about sri lanka [TS]

00:25:07   formerly known as ceylon have so many [TS]

00:25:10   problems with Public Radio I just don't [TS]

00:25:12   even know where to begin [TS]

00:25:13   I you know at what point can you stop [TS]

00:25:15   doing that [TS]

00:25:16   I mean I don't listen to public radio [TS]

00:25:17   because because a of this and so many [TS]

00:25:21   other things so many are man people but [TS]

00:25:24   people murmuring in my ear I don't want [TS]

00:25:27   people murmuring you know what I mean no [TS]

00:25:29   podcast site i'm starting to understand [TS]

00:25:31   because the vast majority of podcast [TS]

00:25:33   people are shouting or at least they're [TS]

00:25:36   there emphatically internets big but the [TS]

00:25:39   public radio people just murmur the [TS]

00:25:41   murmur I I'm and I mean like how god [TS]

00:25:45   John I have a car and i'm going to fight [TS]

00:25:47   you know for me it's also there's so [TS]

00:25:48   much about that is just it's it's [TS]

00:25:50   straight to the police problem it's [TS]

00:25:52   straight to the police problem you know [TS]

00:25:54   and this isn't like an old hourglass bit [TS]

00:25:56   but you know one of my biggest problem [TS]

00:25:59   with NPR is the way that they stress [TS]

00:26:01   every second third or fourth word [TS]

00:26:04   yeah yeah I'm babiuk with Stockton the [TS]

00:26:08   name of your quest arkton when I was 17 [TS]

00:26:11   yes I had a friend whose name was Bob [TS]

00:26:13   and Bob had Bob's dad was a doctor and [TS]

00:26:17   Bob's dad was such an asshole because it [TS]

00:26:20   was a giant guy like bigger than me [TS]

00:26:23   and bald and just one of those in [TS]

00:26:25   serious like just born printheads you [TS]

00:26:30   know and at a certain point I think [TS]

00:26:32   early on in high school 9th grade maybe [TS]

00:26:34   Bob got caught smoking marijuana with [TS]

00:26:36   some of his like hockey player friends [TS]

00:26:38   and his dad came down on him like a ton [TS]

00:26:40   of bricks and actually like I think [TS]

00:26:42   broke Bob's little spirit somehow but i [TS]

00:26:46   got to know Bob later and I I liked I [TS]

00:26:48   liked him a lot he was a good musician [TS]

00:26:50   and a nice kid and he lived in a one of [TS]

00:26:52   those houses in the woods that was made [TS]

00:26:54   out of like it was all made of wood that [TS]

00:26:58   was stained shellacked right so you [TS]

00:27:01   walked inside of his house and it was [TS]

00:27:02   like you were in it was secure enough [TS]

00:27:04   six-story tall bookcase you know [TS]

00:27:06   everything was everything was gold and [TS]

00:27:09   anyway his mom his dad was this massive [TS]

00:27:11   prick but his mom was what you would now [TS]

00:27:16   described if you were tasteless juggalo [TS]

00:27:19   you would describe her as a milf but at [TS]

00:27:22   the time there was no designation for [TS]

00:27:24   mills and she was this choose this woman [TS]

00:27:28   that probably was what like 35 maybe 36 [TS]

00:27:33   years old she seemed like a like a [TS]

00:27:35   definitely like a grown-up lady but she [TS]

00:27:38   had this beautiful blonde hair and she [TS]

00:27:39   was a she was just a charming person and [TS]

00:27:42   she really liked me and I would go over [TS]

00:27:46   to their house and she'd be sitting in [TS]

00:27:47   the kitchen just listening to NPR and [TS]

00:27:51   sorting through the bags of loose [TS]

00:27:54   lapsang souchong but she had from [TS]

00:27:59   different places and and you know what [TS]

00:28:01   should be polishing her harassing [TS]

00:28:04   through her scrapbooks and looking at [TS]

00:28:07   her looking at her trophies from track [TS]

00:28:09   and field and just kind of you know like [TS]

00:28:10   like polishing her copper colonies [TS]

00:28:13   really polish a lot of stuff she [TS]

00:28:15   polished stuff and then she had she had [TS]

00:28:17   some that was fucking up like when you [TS]

00:28:19   say look we're in all different colors [TS]

00:28:21   like she was just this picture she make [TS]

00:28:24   salads she made all my god she made [TS]

00:28:27   salad with bowl with salad tongs and a [TS]

00:28:30   big big wooden house and I would sit on [TS]

00:28:32   their wonder in one of their eames chair [TS]

00:28:35   there's you know while bob was in his [TS]

00:28:38   room getting his Nikes on or whatever [TS]

00:28:40   and I would just I would sit and kind of [TS]

00:28:42   talk to Bob's mom and she showed so much [TS]

00:28:44   interested in me as a teenage boy and [TS]

00:28:47   and I I didn't know what to do with my [TS]

00:28:50   feelings at the time and I think back [TS]

00:28:52   now and i wish that i had i wish that i [TS]

00:28:55   had gone over there during the day and [TS]

00:28:56   asked her for help on my homework or [TS]

00:28:58   something [TS]

00:28:59   it's too late now she's probably 79 now [TS]

00:29:05   I haven't seen her in years but anyway [TS]

00:29:07   uh she grew up on facebook [TS]

00:29:09   whenever I think of know whenever I [TS]

00:29:11   think of whenever I think of NPR I [TS]

00:29:14   always picture Bob's mom in this house [TS]

00:29:16   tucked back in the forest just just [TS]

00:29:20   surrounded by T's from around the world [TS]

00:29:22   listening to the soothing sounds of NPR [TS]

00:29:27   to try and and and i try to picture her [TS]

00:29:29   life with this with this asshole doctor [TS]

00:29:31   I'm just like Oh NPR yeah you're not [TS]

00:29:36   it's not enough that said that's got to [TS]

00:29:38   be bittersweet for John there are so [TS]

00:29:40   many different things that i wish i had [TS]

00:29:42   done differently and one of them is that [TS]

00:29:44   i wish i had taken Bob's mom away from [TS]

00:29:45   all that this is all things considered [TS]

00:29:50   boy that's that sucks John you know and [TS]

00:29:52   i am starting to drift away but met her [TS]

00:29:54   hat [TS]

00:29:55   yep yep yep yep is that you hit that [TS]

00:29:57   when you're like pretty happy with the [TS]

00:29:58   lose a point like it you like it you can [TS]

00:30:03   listen and your credit your capes we're [TS]

00:30:06   at lapsang souchong is that is that real [TS]

00:30:10   is that the pink Montauk I have no idea [TS]

00:30:13   that sounds like a doggy [TS]

00:30:14   yeah it's the name of the little dogs [TS]

00:30:16   that guard the temples positions at a [TS]

00:30:18   shih tzu it's lapsang souchong the shoes [TS]

00:30:21   are the other two lines two lines [TS]

00:30:23   outside the gate was its doubt and and [TS]

00:30:27   Clarence you know more and more than I [TS]

00:30:29   do Clarence's the other 1i can't one of [TS]

00:30:30   the keymaster [TS]

00:30:32   Oh once the gatekeeper one is I think it [TS]

00:30:34   gets the morning we were I can I just [TS]

00:30:36   say like Weaver's this is like I'm so [TS]

00:30:39   happy to be at a point in my life when I [TS]

00:30:41   find there's a new sex thing that I had [TS]

00:30:42   never thought of flow kinda just say [TS]

00:30:45   like fucking mrs. Robinson a giant [TS]

00:30:47   bookcase [TS]

00:30:48   I you know what I back that's [TS]

00:30:51   practically German in its awesomeness [TS]

00:30:52   there's a lot now I never thought of [TS]

00:30:54   that before yeah and I'd and I think as [TS]

00:30:56   a teenager I didn't have a you know I I [TS]

00:31:01   wasn't as connected to the great rhythm [TS]

00:31:04   of life to the to the to the resonating [TS]

00:31:06   D chord that permeates the universe that [TS]

00:31:10   would enable me to to to really be 22 to [TS]

00:31:16   be dustin hoffman in that scenario at [TS]

00:31:20   the time like I only thought of myself [TS]

00:31:22   as a kid and so even though i was i was [TS]

00:31:25   probably already six feet tall by that [TS]

00:31:28   point I still have still thought of [TS]

00:31:30   myself as a kid and so so in a sense [TS]

00:31:35   just in a position of waiting I was just [TS]

00:31:38   waiting because I was a kid and mrs. [TS]

00:31:41   Robinson aka Bob's mom was also waiting [TS]

00:31:46   and here we were in this D chord [TS]

00:31:50   resonating Woodhouse both waiting and [TS]

00:31:55   I'm Bob's dad wasn't waiting [TS]

00:31:58   Bob that was seizing the moment being a [TS]

00:31:59   dick with every fiber of his being you [TS]

00:32:02   don't know what you have to admire them [TS]

00:32:03   some level [TS]

00:32:04   well you do i mean i think that it was a [TS]

00:32:07   GP or surgeon like what was it was it [TS]

00:32:09   was a surgeon i mean he had the whole [TS]

00:32:11   thing if he did if he had been he was [TS]

00:32:14   one step away from owning an Alfa Romeo [TS]

00:32:17   you know what I mean like it was Alaska [TS]

00:32:19   so you couldn't really owned an Alfa [TS]

00:32:20   Romeo unless you were all the more [TS]

00:32:22   reason she was just so such an asshole [TS]

00:32:25   that you owned a car that you could only [TS]

00:32:27   drive two months of the year but he was [TS]

00:32:29   very close to that level of like I'm a [TS]

00:32:31   surgeon and everyone get out of my way [TS]

00:32:33   she got pregnant like why was she with [TS]

00:32:35   this guy become you again [TS]

00:32:37   I don't know what women like you're [TS]

00:32:39   ready maybe they like kiss maybe they [TS]

00:32:41   like maybe the idea of a guy carrying [TS]

00:32:43   around a condiment is it is but Adam [TS]

00:32:47   Hansen wallet is that was a turn-on for [TS]

00:32:49   some girls I have no idea why this is [TS]

00:32:51   the thing John I don't want to press the [TS]

00:32:52   bruise i don't i don't press anything [TS]

00:32:54   but here's my thinking on this like if [TS]

00:32:56   you walked around [TS]

00:32:57   and you're a plumber or cable guy or [TS]

00:32:59   pizza delivery person and you could very [TS]

00:33:01   well on a very basic level walk around [TS]

00:33:04   going i'm only a pizza guy i'm only the [TS]

00:33:06   Cable Guy writer and that's true there's [TS]

00:33:08   certainly true but on the uneven the [TS]

00:33:10   most basic level if your camera's out or [TS]

00:33:12   your plumbing is broken or you're really [TS]

00:33:14   fucking hungry you're gonna be glad to [TS]

00:33:15   see the pizza guy but on a much deeper [TS]

00:33:17   level if you really want to want [TS]

00:33:19   somebody to give you the mean bone [TS]

00:33:20   according to every porno movie I've ever [TS]

00:33:22   seen [TS]

00:33:23   it's gonna be just fine for the pizza [TS]

00:33:25   guy right so I'm that I don't make this [TS]

00:33:27   weird or book Casey but well but [TS]

00:33:29   according to porno movies the guy that [TS]

00:33:31   you want if you're a girl is not just [TS]

00:33:34   the pizza guy [TS]

00:33:35   it's the pizza guy who's got like kind [TS]

00:33:38   of translucent sweaty skin it seems [TS]

00:33:41   pretty confident and it's real confident [TS]

00:33:44   like yeah he's a guy who's got kind of [TS]

00:33:46   his jaws a little bit too big like that [TS]

00:33:50   would be like to me that would be like [TS]

00:33:51   picking up a cigarette i found in a [TS]

00:33:53   men's room [TS]

00:33:53   I guess somebody comes in and delivers [TS]

00:33:55   my fucking pizza and then let's not get [TS]

00:33:56   all up in my grill i would just be I [TS]

00:33:58   would be thinking really hard about that [TS]

00:34:00   you know I'm saying this gets back to my [TS]

00:34:01   rule about where you meet people where [TS]

00:34:03   you know you do you imagine that you're [TS]

00:34:04   the first 1i think you can tell a lot [TS]

00:34:06   about how your relationship with someone [TS]

00:34:08   is gonna end but how the end with [TS]

00:34:09   everybody else but here's the thing that [TS]

00:34:11   people are people are animals they [TS]

00:34:15   really are you know and and and the [TS]

00:34:17   those of us who have let our higher [TS]

00:34:19   functions get in the way of being [TS]

00:34:22   animals all the time it can be about the [TS]

00:34:24   Cold War we have not done ourselves a [TS]

00:34:26   service like we think about everything [TS]

00:34:29   too much and all the all the people who [TS]

00:34:32   are able to live more fun reflectively [TS]

00:34:35   who are just like oh I am here now and [TS]

00:34:38   there's someone standing in front of me [TS]

00:34:39   who smells like sex and my brain is [TS]

00:34:43   shutting off and i'm going to have sex [TS]

00:34:45   with them now and now i'm going and [TS]

00:34:48   maybe I'll regret it later but also my [TS]

00:34:50   capacity to regret is something that i [TS]

00:34:52   dont cultivate so I'm gonna regret it [TS]

00:34:55   for a half an hour and then I'm gonna [TS]

00:34:57   pretend it never happened and listen to [TS]

00:34:58   NPR and have some tea [TS]

00:35:00   like if you know what you think the [TS]

00:35:01   nobles regret I don't think but well [TS]

00:35:03   maybe bonobos are fully regret but the [TS]

00:35:06   nobles just they have a lot of [TS]

00:35:07   intercourse mostly for self-soothing I [TS]

00:35:09   think you but look at their little [TS]

00:35:10   Jason it was nervous the clearly nervous [TS]

00:35:12   stupid they're full of anxiety i had a [TS]

00:35:15   friend I had a friend who had one of [TS]

00:35:17   those extremely tiny you know I guess [TS]

00:35:18   you always get smaller they become [TS]

00:35:20   increasingly more annoying it's like a [TS]

00:35:21   you know inverse relationship the [TS]

00:35:23   annoyance goes up as the site is down i [TS]

00:35:25   didn't realize the big chihuahuas are [TS]

00:35:27   less annoying as well a lot of me a lot [TS]

00:35:29   of a lot of people who say that they [TS]

00:35:30   have a medium-size dog that could be a [TS]

00:35:32   Scottie it's actually it could be a [TS]

00:35:34   chihuahua a wig which is one of my [TS]

00:35:36   favorite Morrissey songs are you huh [TS]

00:35:39   are you annoyed by shivering dogs [TS]

00:35:42   Shepherd Angela I I feel sympathy but i [TS]

00:35:45   was driving i was driving through [TS]

00:35:46   manhattan one time and I looked out the [TS]

00:35:48   window as imap come on you know [TS]

00:35:50   Lexington and 70th or something and [TS]

00:35:54   here's a guy in a perfectly tailored [TS]

00:35:56   suit you know like a suit where the legs [TS]

00:35:59   are pegged so that you can't even [TS]

00:36:01   imagine how he got his feet for the [TS]

00:36:02   pants nopee states no pee stains he [TS]

00:36:06   doesn't have anything tomatoes salt lake [TS]

00:36:07   in the eye looking at its he's walking [TS]

00:36:10   down the street he's six feet tall [TS]

00:36:12   anyways a hundred and forty pounds [TS]

00:36:14   soaking wet and he's walking this [TS]

00:36:15   Chihuahua and the Chihuahua is prancing [TS]

00:36:18   like an Austrian horse right head like a [TS]

00:36:23   real honor like a lip was on her horse [TS]

00:36:25   he's just like he's his little toes are [TS]

00:36:28   barely touching the ground he is [TS]

00:36:29   marching down the street and the dog is [TS]

00:36:32   three inches high right yeah I mean I i [TS]

00:36:36   was i was on my way to have a sandwich [TS]

00:36:38   bigger than this dog and this dog is [TS]

00:36:41   walking down the street and I'm and [TS]

00:36:43   people are literally the they're getting [TS]

00:36:47   out of this dogs way like the crowd on [TS]

00:36:49   the sidewalk is parting for this little [TS]

00:36:51   dog marching with more confidence than [TS]

00:36:55   I've ever seen in any animal like he was [TS]

00:36:57   absolutely leading this suited man down [TS]

00:37:00   the street he was not being walked he [TS]

00:37:02   was doing it I i gotta say I admire that [TS]

00:37:04   I admired that little dog I wish I had [TS]

00:37:07   half his confidence but your big guy [TS]

00:37:09   that's your problem here is so much I [TS]

00:37:12   want to say well first of all I can see [TS]

00:37:14   how many situations where I've known [TS]

00:37:16   people with two pets and the little pet [TS]

00:37:18   ran the house and the big cat big cat [TS]

00:37:20   was just a giant pussy [TS]

00:37:22   my best friend John when I was a kid he [TS]

00:37:25   had a cat named Blackie and a really big [TS]

00:37:26   dog named Blackie and and and black [TS]

00:37:29   which is blocking around the house back [TS]

00:37:32   careful now we gotta get together okay [TS]

00:37:34   you're okay here's the thing [TS]

00:37:37   no I have sympathy for the Shivering [TS]

00:37:39   anxious dog but i do not like the [TS]

00:37:41   shimmering anxious dog and I tell my [TS]

00:37:43   daughter how you can tell when the dogs [TS]

00:37:45   pooping because it looks really guilty [TS]

00:37:46   like it's it looks like they always say [TS]

00:37:48   he looks like anything that is I like [TS]

00:37:49   one looks like it's sitting down with [TS]

00:37:51   her having a hard time telling when dogs [TS]

00:37:52   are pooping she's for we don't we don't [TS]

00:37:55   really have the vocabulary for this but [TS]

00:37:57   every year isn't it looks like when it [TS]

00:37:58   takes a shit like it just looks like you [TS]

00:38:00   don't think John back to the animal [TS]

00:38:02   thing I look away [TS]

00:38:03   well I don't know absolute like but [TS]

00:38:05   don't you think and and you say yes you [TS]

00:38:08   know at first but you know what school I [TS]

00:38:12   think you're going to say yes say yes or [TS]

00:38:14   not to predict you're going to say [TS]

00:38:16   here's the thing at about deer at [TS]

00:38:18   watering holes [TS]

00:38:18   I'm starting to worry that here's the [TS]

00:38:20   thing is my catchphrase been mine [TS]

00:38:24   I got dressed here's the thing of yours [TS]

00:38:26   is here's the thing about so forget [TS]

00:38:29   about to say here's the thing about deer [TS]

00:38:30   at waterholes i think a dog taking a [TS]

00:38:32   shit looking guilty and is a lot like a [TS]

00:38:35   deer at a watering hole they're very [TS]

00:38:37   vulnerable when a dog takes a shit it's [TS]

00:38:40   very vulnerable because that's why it [TS]

00:38:42   looks so scared it's looking around [TS]

00:38:43   thinking somebody's gonna come and kick [TS]

00:38:44   my ass while this book coming out of it [TS]

00:38:46   that's all that's my God he's more [TS]

00:38:47   vulnerable than he is because the dog [TS]

00:38:49   doesn't if the dog is halfway through a [TS]

00:38:51   shit and somebody comes and kick them in [TS]

00:38:52   the ass if the dogs gonna the dog it can [TS]

00:38:56   run with shit half out of his ass right [TS]

00:38:59   because the dog isn't as concerned as we [TS]

00:39:02   are like the guy in the suit the guy in [TS]

00:39:04   the suit he's going to want to stop and [TS]

00:39:05   clean up and the suit is going to want [TS]

00:39:07   to clean up and that's the problem with [TS]

00:39:08   human being yes we are we [TS]

00:39:11   somebody would actually stand there and [TS]

00:39:13   get killed [TS]

00:39:14   rather than run down the street with [TS]

00:39:15   half a shit hanging out around because [TS]

00:39:17   they're because their capacity for [TS]

00:39:20   embarrassment is greater than their [TS]

00:39:22   survival instinct you're saying we've [TS]

00:39:24   we've evolved past the point of [TS]

00:39:25   usefulness on a lot of disability past [TS]

00:39:28   the point where we are [TS]

00:39:29   what where we can reasonably be expected [TS]

00:39:30   to survive because because our shame [TS]

00:39:34   is standing in the way of us needing to [TS]

00:39:36   do we do like I should have just should [TS]

00:39:40   have been all over Bob's mom but Mike [TS]

00:39:43   complex like matrix of shame and anxiety [TS]

00:39:46   kept me sitting in that Eames chair at [TS]

00:39:50   saying yes I'd like another cup of tea [TS]

00:39:52   with soy milk in it which I didn't even [TS]

00:39:54   want I just wanted to come over and and [TS]

00:39:56   handed to me you know where as if i was [TS]

00:39:59   a little bit less afraid if I wasn't [TS]

00:40:01   afraid to run down the street with with [TS]

00:40:02   the pathogenic out of my ass I would [TS]

00:40:04   have been I would've I would've been all [TS]

00:40:06   over her Bible to come out in his Nikes [TS]

00:40:08   and said I'm ready to go [TS]

00:40:09   oh no this is morning edition from NPR [TS]

00:40:12   national public radio so anyway this [TS]

00:40:15   randomized she had a shivering chihuahua [TS]

00:40:17   and this thing that's not what I thought [TS]

00:40:19   you were going to say you you've known [TS]

00:40:21   like extremely compulsive masturbator [TS]

00:40:23   like everybody likes to masturbate but [TS]

00:40:24   like you know there are people where [TS]

00:40:26   you're like dude I can just tell your [TS]

00:40:28   masturbating constantly I think when [TS]

00:40:30   your clanmates you mention it yeah no [TS]

00:40:32   magic through say he admitted to it but [TS]

00:40:35   but i think most compulsive masturbator [TS]

00:40:38   is also have a protective layer of [TS]

00:40:40   dander on the front of their sweatshirt [TS]

00:40:42   you know you see them it's the dander [TS]

00:40:45   really that they're using the indenter [TS]

00:40:47   else he's also kind of little guy [TS]

00:40:49   here's the thing you didn't have as much [TS]

00:40:51   danger shiver shiver though you have two [TS]

00:40:55   good shiver he met my friend had a [TS]

00:40:57   shivering chihuahua that I never liked [TS]

00:40:58   it was real barky and real nervous and [TS]

00:41:02   any time it felt like the least bit [TS]

00:41:04   anxious which is always it would go in [TS]

00:41:05   the other room and fuck the shit out of [TS]

00:41:07   a little stuff when you boot and you've [TS]

00:41:09   never seen an anxious chihuahua fucking [TS]

00:41:11   the shit out of it now you understand [TS]

00:41:12   this is not the first time just write [TS]

00:41:14   this dog has fucking ruined the stuffed [TS]

00:41:16   animal [TS]

00:41:17   I think I plush it's rolling I mean [TS]

00:41:18   there's so much I don't have a dog [TS]

00:41:19   collar whatever there's something that's [TS]

00:41:21   just very and it's very disconcerting [TS]

00:41:22   because like the pooling dog there's [TS]

00:41:24   some snooping and then there's some [TS]

00:41:26   snooping and there's there's some guilt [TS]

00:41:28   and there's a lot of lot of extreme [TS]

00:41:30   nervous quivering anxiety as it helps [TS]

00:41:33   their helpless little honey bear [TS]

00:41:35   I'm friend here in Seattle who has a [TS]

00:41:37   little dog not a not a chihuahua but [TS]

00:41:39   some one of these little Scottie dogs [TS]

00:41:41   who also hopes up pumps like a foot [TS]

00:41:43   fuzzy pillow the dog the dog does the [TS]

00:41:46   friend is everything that I [TS]

00:41:48   but we also have some fuzzy pillow but [TS]

00:41:49   not when I'm around but this dog was [TS]

00:41:51   humping fuzzy pillow at one point and [TS]

00:41:53   just like luck of the draw [TS]

00:41:56   no pun intended he kinda it kinda we [TS]

00:42:00   were we were standing there watching and [TS]

00:42:02   laughing and he kind of just like leaned [TS]

00:42:06   back at exactly the right moment [TS]

00:42:07   actually and actually came across the [TS]

00:42:10   room like a turtle airshot we're all [TS]

00:42:14   standing there naked see it went like 14 [TS]

00:42:17   feet he had a 3-pointer he did and we [TS]

00:42:21   were incredulous like and then he walked [TS]

00:42:23   away like my workers done [TS]

00:42:25   oh my god it was one of the most [TS]

00:42:27   beautiful things like see the fucking [TS]

00:42:29   cat do that it was like when a killer [TS]

00:42:31   well slap seal with his tail out of the [TS]

00:42:33   water and wait and those seals 30 feet [TS]

00:42:36   in the air spinning ass over teakettle [TS]

00:42:38   and the killer whale is just like [TS]

00:42:40   watching it happen we were you in the [TS]

00:42:42   splashdown no no I was well aware [TS]

00:42:45   everyone a dog starts humping a pillow [TS]

00:42:47   yeah I start looking for the exits [TS]

00:42:49   you've been around the block because i [TS]

00:42:51   have and and especially when you're in [TS]

00:42:53   somebody's house where they think it's [TS]

00:42:54   charming that the dogs fucking pillow [TS]

00:42:56   challenge looking for the exits John I i [TS]

00:42:59   just wanna I'm not it's not like I want [TS]

00:43:01   it's not like i'm leaving through a it's [TS]

00:43:02   like I just want to make sure I know [TS]

00:43:04   where they are [TS]

00:43:04   it's like the earnest and ER it's like [TS]

00:43:06   this is a clear fucking leading economic [TS]

00:43:08   indicators that you need to get the hell [TS]

00:43:09   out of that place like that person's got [TS]

00:43:11   an andiron themselves that obviously [TS]

00:43:13   masturbating constantly and this is a [TS]

00:43:14   house where the dog is encouraged to [TS]

00:43:17   literally come in the living room and [TS]

00:43:20   that's funny I feel like I turned a [TS]

00:43:21   corner in life [TS]

00:43:22   somebody's gonna have to clean that up [TS]

00:43:24   yes you see the dogs going to do that [TS]

00:43:26   will not tell me that's how many [TS]

00:43:27   computer monitors do you have in front [TS]

00:43:29   of you all right now what is the maximum [TS]

00:43:31   number of computer monitors that you [TS]

00:43:33   said that when you walk into somebody's [TS]

00:43:35   computer station area [TS]

00:43:36   yeah what is the maximum number of [TS]

00:43:38   computer monitors that you will but you [TS]

00:43:40   can handle before you start to feel like [TS]

00:43:42   this person out it's like a lunatic is a [TS]

00:43:45   lunatic well I i know a lot of people [TS]

00:43:46   that may scrap your story if I tell you [TS]

00:43:49   but my opinion is that that the the [TS]

00:43:52   conventional wisdom on this is that you [TS]

00:43:54   should have to exact monitors of exactly [TS]

00:43:56   the same size or three of the same size [TS]

00:43:58   i have one very large one and then one [TS]

00:44:00   and I've seen some [TS]

00:44:01   nerds that have up to six but that is [TS]

00:44:04   like having seventh graders you got you [TS]

00:44:06   have to get a stand and yeah that didn't [TS]

00:44:09   ruin the story so what happens with six [TS]

00:44:11   monitors what happens very little again [TS]

00:44:14   it's the condom in my wallet problem [TS]

00:44:15   I mean no I mean and you know what you [TS]

00:44:18   don't care about this but there's [TS]

00:44:19   there's data that backs up the idea that [TS]

00:44:22   the less you have to scroll around the [TS]

00:44:24   more you can get done the more you see [TS]

00:44:26   the more you can do but you know [TS]

00:44:27   come on I mean you ever seen that guy [TS]

00:44:28   you see the guy who's got like all the [TS]

00:44:30   holsters on his belt [TS]

00:44:31   you know and you're like you're like the [TS]

00:44:32   guy at the music business too are you [TS]

00:44:34   seriously asking me back for the guy or [TS]

00:44:36   the lesbian usually with all the keys [TS]

00:44:38   let the keychain what's the deal with [TS]

00:44:39   lesbians and keychains is that a thing [TS]

00:44:40   is that look at the hanky code it well [TS]

00:44:42   it's a thing it's not a hanky code but [TS]

00:44:44   it's a it's a it's like a it's a penis [TS]

00:44:48   envy think it's a pushy think it well [TS]

00:44:50   you it's like here's my package in my [TS]

00:44:53   packages just made of keys [TS]

00:44:54   have you seen my keychain i definitely [TS]

00:44:58   have but I'm trying to remember what its [TS]

00:45:00   okay its okay its taken me 45 years to [TS]

00:45:03   get down to an aluminum bottle cap [TS]

00:45:05   opener that was almost nothing and two [TS]

00:45:07   keys [TS]

00:45:08   I don't even keep my car key on there i [TS]

00:45:09   get my office key in my house key and [TS]

00:45:10   that is it [TS]

00:45:11   that's what to me that's power like that [TS]

00:45:13   that is the ability to go into into a [TS]

00:45:15   literal safe-deposit box and not bearing [TS]

00:45:17   or do you want to go [TS]

00:45:19   munich what do you--what do you know [TS]

00:45:20   where to go to urgent Sorry Sorry [TS]

00:45:22   and so you also have a number bank [TS]

00:45:24   account there don't don't say what [TS]

00:45:25   number but you probably have access to [TS]

00:45:27   money there too [TS]

00:45:28   I don't I i wouldn't be able to say the [TS]

00:45:30   number because it's not actually do you [TS]

00:45:31   have any other truckers wallet with [TS]

00:45:33   twenty dollars that you could use [TS]

00:45:34   anywhere in the world right well not [TS]

00:45:36   anywhere i mean i don't have any like [TS]

00:45:37   Chinese money not know what not promise [TS]

00:45:40   you want to change the currency an hour [TS]

00:45:41   later go ahead i didn't have any light [TS]

00:45:43   didn't add some thai baht I couldn't go [TS]

00:45:45   to talk about for instance unless the US [TS]

00:45:48   dollars in talker but anyway go ahead [TS]

00:45:50   no no I think that's probably it wasn't [TS]

00:45:53   talking about i don't even remember my [TS]

00:45:56   keychain on your keychain so I I feel [TS]

00:45:59   like I for example the people who who [TS]

00:46:02   are our neighbors like I won't check the [TS]

00:46:05   mail today I want to get the mail and I [TS]

00:46:06   swear to god it's like these fucking [TS]

00:46:08   MOOCs have like a pony keg of Acts its X [TS]

00:46:12   body spray [TS]

00:46:13   I i hope so I mean it [TS]

00:46:14   is actually a shit down there where I [TS]

00:46:17   thought I thought that you you don't [TS]

00:46:19   still have an adversarial relationship [TS]

00:46:20   with your upstairs neighbor oh no [TS]

00:46:21   they're gone tonight they're still [TS]

00:46:22   literally the only people in the world [TS]

00:46:24   that I hate our old neighbors and and [TS]

00:46:26   are you saying that their mail is still [TS]

00:46:28   in your mailbox when you talk about [TS]

00:46:29   different neighbors now I I can't talk [TS]

00:46:30   too much about this kale because of your [TS]

00:46:33   papers are listening to the podcast now [TS]

00:46:35   fuck them i thought other I've got all [TS]

00:46:36   their names about all the names don't [TS]

00:46:37   mean yeah haha well don't tell me I [TS]

00:46:41   can't get dark and small of that is [TS]

00:46:43   darkened small tell them to them and if [TS]

00:46:46   they came to you and asked you know I [TS]

00:46:48   think I think he resolves to pages like [TS]

00:46:50   look at me I live upstairs mimi and this [TS]

00:46:52   one says I don't know um but during my [TS]

00:46:55   drinking years I had no keys because i [TS]

00:46:57   had no I had no nothing to put a key had [TS]

00:47:01   no home I had no thing I had no thing [TS]

00:47:04   and I had no keys and I remember feeling [TS]

00:47:05   like that was some kind of minor triumph [TS]

00:47:08   like a Buddha I felt like I was headed [TS]

00:47:12   that direction i was like a drunk Buddha [TS]

00:47:14   you sound almost like a beach is like [TS]

00:47:16   one of the beach like very confused [TS]

00:47:17   about religion and drugs [TS]

00:47:19   yeah well I because and that's exactly [TS]

00:47:21   right i was trying to I was imagining [TS]

00:47:23   that through being fucked up all the [TS]

00:47:26   time i was actually climbing the ladder [TS]

00:47:28   of enlightenment uh it turns out that i [TS]

00:47:32   was not i wasn't even I was I wasn't [TS]

00:47:34   holding the ladder of enlightenment but [TS]

00:47:36   a but i remember when i got my first key [TS]

00:47:38   somebody gave me a key to their place [TS]

00:47:41   they were like all right you know you [TS]

00:47:43   can [TS]

00:47:43   here's a key to my place you can use the [TS]

00:47:45   B come in and use the bathroom shower [TS]

00:47:47   clean up or whatever I was like I got a [TS]

00:47:48   key [TS]

00:47:49   I have a key I have responsibilities and [TS]

00:47:51   this is at a time when I didn't have an [TS]

00:47:53   ID so having a key was like wow this is [TS]

00:47:57   my connection to I'm now I'm now [TS]

00:48:00   reconnecting to use this is definitely [TS]

00:48:02   met this is densely metaphorical John [TS]

00:48:04   yeah I had a key and then I got a second [TS]

00:48:07   key and so I needed a ring and the [TS]

00:48:09   second key was a key to a ford aerostar [TS]

00:48:13   minivan that a guy let me crash in it [TS]

00:48:18   was like like you can crash at my house [TS]

00:48:20   because i'm paying rent my roommate span [TS]

00:48:23   rent but I have this van out back you [TS]

00:48:25   can stay in the van [TS]

00:48:26   and i'll connect the van to a battery [TS]

00:48:28   charger so the lights stay on you when [TS]

00:48:31   you open the door so you can read so I [TS]

00:48:33   had a key to a person's house to use the [TS]

00:48:36   bathroom and a key to this minivan where [TS]

00:48:37   I was living and I was like I got two [TS]

00:48:40   keys i got two keys and a keyring look [TS]

00:48:42   at me Here I am two keys top of the [TS]

00:48:46   world MA [TS]

00:48:47   that's right and so fast forward five [TS]

00:48:49   years later I had a job I had my own [TS]

00:48:51   place I I didn't have a car but I I the [TS]

00:48:55   job I had three keys or something all of [TS]

00:48:56   a sudden I've got like six keys on my [TS]

00:48:58   key ring and I'm feeling I was feeling [TS]

00:49:01   start to feel dragged down by this got [TS]

00:49:03   six keys like what have I become my guy [TS]

00:49:08   was six keys you can come to become [TS]

00:49:10   you've become a guy who watches fight [TS]

00:49:12   club too much probably [TS]

00:49:13   well this was before fight club things [TS]

00:49:15   are owning you but I had a key to my eye [TS]

00:49:17   on a key to my apartment I had a key to [TS]

00:49:19   my practice space i had a key to my I [TS]

00:49:21   don't really got it together fast [TS]

00:49:23   well for years that's pretty good [TS]

00:49:25   fashion Dukakis what mama son even the [TS]

00:49:30   drinking [TS]

00:49:31   oh I don't talk as a drinker no lady [TS]

00:49:34   with the rubbing rubbing alcohol Dukakis [TS]

00:49:37   that's not funny [TS]

00:49:38   yeah now Greek oh yeah right and so [TS]

00:49:44   anyway so now from 0 to 6 and four years [TS]

00:49:46   yeah and now i'm not i keep approved it [TS]

00:49:49   i keep it keep it to do I keep it to [TS]

00:49:52   four keys but i think i think it's a lot [TS]

00:49:55   like the compulsive masturbator [TS]

00:49:57   I mean you should have as many cases you [TS]

00:49:58   need let's take that is red but there is [TS]

00:50:00   something a little bit over compensating [TS]

00:50:02   about the giant ass keychain especially [TS]

00:50:04   when you're like a security guard no [TS]

00:50:05   offense or whatever right [TS]

00:50:08   you know it seems like the more honest [TS]

00:50:10   as classes I can't say this was like the [TS]

00:50:12   more menial position the Marquis you [TS]

00:50:14   have to have that's true i got regular [TS]

00:50:17   you know you'll get jail you're gonna [TS]

00:50:19   get back pain look at us we're student [TS]

00:50:21   ya-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-a-h guy doesn't carry [TS]

00:50:23   around a big ring of keys that was my [TS]

00:50:25   first one my second objection about [TS]

00:50:27   mobile phones my first objection about [TS]

00:50:29   mobile phones when they got popular was [TS]

00:50:31   everybody uses them is a dick tarde like [TS]

00:50:33   why are you talking in a restaurant you [TS]

00:50:35   talk about the big mobile phones there i [TS]

00:50:37   mean like when star tax [TS]

00:50:39   popular likes a 97 98 or whatever and I [TS]

00:50:42   and that's what my whole life phone guy [TS]

00:50:43   percent started cuz i would take off my [TS]

00:50:44   shoes and start talking to it really [TS]

00:50:45   loud it because I I know and I to this [TS]

00:50:48   day is doing wonder i still wonder how [TS]

00:50:51   many people are actually talking to [TS]

00:50:52   someone on the phone because you just [TS]

00:50:53   like crazy homeless person especially [TS]

00:50:54   the bluetooth you know it's crazy but um [TS]

00:50:57   but the second reason is like you're [TS]

00:50:59   using this as the signifier of power you [TS]

00:51:02   know in in the same way that you got the [TS]

00:51:04   butcher keychain like if you're talking [TS]

00:51:06   on the phone at lunch [TS]

00:51:07   you're not a powerful person in a [TS]

00:51:09   powerful person is allowed to eat [TS]

00:51:11   without doing work but there's minute [TS]

00:51:12   they're most people's conception of what [TS]

00:51:15   a powerful person looks like only goes [TS]

00:51:18   up so high 22 stuck to middle management [TS]

00:51:21   you know like most people the highest [TS]

00:51:24   they can conceive yes is the middle [TS]

00:51:26   manager and so they emulate the middle [TS]

00:51:28   managers taste in clothes and cars is so [TS]

00:51:32   dispiriting houses in music and culture [TS]

00:51:35   the middle manager is is the [TS]

00:51:38   aspirational unit for for the vast [TS]

00:51:41   majority and somebody like you who has a [TS]

00:51:43   concept of what truly look what the rich [TS]

00:51:48   and powerful look like you know the [TS]

00:51:50   middle managers was always going to be [TS]

00:51:51   craft for me my my goal is always to [TS]

00:51:54   look like somebody who has so much money [TS]

00:51:57   that they're still driving in 1967 Volvo [TS]

00:51:59   and and I separate like that rich guy [TS]

00:52:03   got call newman and what wearing ya like [TS]

00:52:05   like Carl Newman rich guy wearing his [TS]

00:52:07   grandfather's canadian money that's not [TS]

00:52:08   likely less like being really rich [TS]

00:52:10   that's like me that's Canadian rich [TS]

00:52:11   comedian money's worth more than [TS]

00:52:12   american money i remember was a dollar [TS]

00:52:14   66 American we stayed at a really super [TS]

00:52:18   nice hotel in vancouver one time not the [TS]

00:52:19   Sylvia hotel nerd but i but I really [TS]

00:52:22   nice hotel and it was like it was like [TS]

00:52:23   fifty dollars a night it's ridiculous [TS]

00:52:25   yeah doctors are going i think it's what [TS]

00:52:28   you're talking about old money old money [TS]

00:52:30   old man i was room with a guy who is old [TS]

00:52:33   money and and he looked homeless but I [TS]

00:52:35   was like homeless like I don't even know [TS]

00:52:37   I don't know [TS]

00:52:38   ok here's me I'm so middle management [TS]

00:52:40   that like I would go like old LL Bean [TS]

00:52:41   but it probably wasn't it was probably [TS]

00:52:43   like like a bespoke hobo shirt lecture [TS]

00:52:46   we handmade hobo sure if I know that's a [TS]

00:52:49   classic that's why I want to talk to you [TS]

00:52:51   about the buckaroos [TS]

00:52:52   guys better handmade hobo shirt i spent [TS]

00:52:56   a couple of months traveling in europe [TS]

00:52:57   with one of the guys who was the heir of [TS]

00:53:01   the Busch beer family who did they [TS]

00:53:06   filled with the Anheuser at all do you [TS]

00:53:08   think the big head like shotgun [TS]

00:53:10   hillbilly type shit going on [TS]

00:53:11   oh well no I think the bushes took over [TS]

00:53:15   the operation on senator carl sanders [TS]

00:53:18   the Anheuser just kept on there for four [TS]

00:53:19   sho i think then Hauser's I mean they're [TS]

00:53:22   they're in there but the bushes were the [TS]

00:53:25   dynasty case are good and and this guy [TS]

00:53:29   who's yet yet he had bush in his name [TS]

00:53:32   like he was his great-great-grandson or [TS]

00:53:34   something like justice or something [TS]

00:53:36   even we were traveling together in here [TS]

00:53:39   for a couple of months and sky he drank [TS]

00:53:43   two liters of coke a day and he looked [TS]

00:53:47   like the guy that was look like a guy [TS]

00:53:50   that was playing playing video games for [TS]

00:53:52   a living like he didn't he didn't look [TS]

00:53:55   like somebody that's sounds like [TS]

00:53:57   inbreeding a little bit did not look [TS]

00:53:59   like somebody who had 24 Clyde that [TS]

00:54:02   sounds like it's not a diversity in the [TS]

00:54:04   Missouri bush no no he wasn't he was a [TS]

00:54:06   handsome enough guy but he sure did a [TS]

00:54:08   big banjo player very curious character [TS]

00:54:10   himself with this kind of like whatever [TS]

00:54:13   you give me get another glass of coke [TS]

00:54:15   and I swear to you he had Clydesdales [TS]

00:54:17   take him to his junior prom like this [TS]

00:54:19   guy this guy this guy could like cigars [TS]

00:54:23   on a hundred-dollar bills and it was the [TS]

00:54:27   same team as matches did he want the [TS]

00:54:29   class officer was it i was just i went [TS]

00:54:32   like this is wrong with the real shop [TS]

00:54:34   it's like the whole fucking fucking of [TS]

00:54:35   course you're gonna have clientele just [TS]

00:54:37   pushed Donna Donna and I and every man's [TS]

00:54:41   there [TS]

00:54:41   yes no because here's the thing and this [TS]

00:54:45   is like royalty like with royalty like [TS]

00:54:47   it seems like such a cakewalk but it's [TS]

00:54:49   just it's just constant bullshit if [TS]

00:54:51   you're royalty and I imagine if you're a [TS]

00:54:53   bush that kind of bush like it just must [TS]

00:54:55   suck you sure your dad will go you know [TS]

00:54:57   what we're doing Clydesdales he's like [TS]

00:54:58   can I just get a town car fuck you fuck [TS]

00:55:01   you get going on get again I get selling [TS]

00:55:03   you on a horse like it right we're [TS]

00:55:05   having the gym [TS]

00:55:05   i'm here at the house cockiness [TS]

00:55:07   guardhouse card you would be by that and [TS]

00:55:09   especially like if you're if you're like [TS]

00:55:11   Bob and you feel like you've got to [TS]

00:55:12   constantly be be showing your true [TS]

00:55:14   finess yeah well this is the this is the [TS]

00:55:17   reason that my that I think the best [TS]

00:55:19   thing in life is to be about my age 43 [TS]

00:55:22   and then learn that you're actually from [TS]

00:55:27   an obscenely rich family and they've [TS]

00:55:29   been keeping it from you the whole time [TS]

00:55:30   as the test your mettle [TS]

00:55:32   yeah just it just because they wanted [TS]

00:55:34   you to grow up with some intestinal [TS]

00:55:35   fortitude and then they're like okay [TS]

00:55:38   here's your inheritance [TS]

00:55:40   I keep waiting for it i wake up every [TS]

00:55:41   morning and think is there is the knock [TS]

00:55:43   on the door gonna come today my rich [TS]

00:55:45   uncle is he going to come and tell us he [TS]

00:55:47   strikes me that you are you live and not [TS]

00:55:50   sleep in anticipation of a lot of door [TS]

00:55:52   knocks well this is the problem i feel [TS]

00:55:55   like i know it's an alien race an [TS]

00:55:57   attorney there have you sign some papers [TS]

00:55:59   haha there are a lot of people that can [TS]

00:56:03   be knocking on my door and today you [TS]

00:56:05   know what's gonna happen a guy's gonna [TS]

00:56:07   knock on my door here I get it I get a [TS]

00:56:08   text message two days ago from a friend [TS]

00:56:10   and he says have a favorite free to ask [TS]

00:56:12   of you it's a really small thing it [TS]

00:56:14   doesn't require any work on your part [TS]

00:56:15   and immediately I'm like yeah right if [TS]

00:56:19   that if that were true you wouldn't be [TS]

00:56:21   like softening me up with this pretext [TS]

00:56:23   like literally pretext like telling [TS]

00:56:26   somebody I want you to be honest it [TS]

00:56:28   means literally the opposite yeah I want [TS]

00:56:29   to be honest this this favor is going to [TS]

00:56:31   require nothing you when I was like [TS]

00:56:32   alright so what is the favor so he text [TS]

00:56:35   back i bought my girlfriend a sailboat [TS]

00:56:38   and I want to bring it to your house [TS]

00:56:42   defecation it's not complicated than it [TS]

00:56:45   does work for Duff McKagan hat guy I'm [TS]

00:56:49   gonna bring the sailboat over to your [TS]

00:56:51   house and clean it up for a couple of [TS]

00:56:54   days in your yard so I can give it to [TS]

00:56:57   her on christmas and happy like this is [TS]

00:57:01   really pushing the definition of [TS]

00:57:03   requires nothing from me like requires [TS]

00:57:05   nothing for me other than a year in my [TS]

00:57:06   yard for two days cleaning a sailboat [TS]

00:57:08   but I mean I don't mean it the way it [TS]

00:57:12   sounds but what are your neighbors gonna [TS]

00:57:13   think when they've got a real i know i [TS]

00:57:15   don't mean in terms of like Oh John [TS]

00:57:17   Rocker should get him a nice elbow [TS]

00:57:18   i'm thinking more like holy shit how is [TS]

00:57:20   this gonna fuck with their vision of you [TS]

00:57:21   as a man with a sword and a bathroom I [TS]

00:57:24   think it just goes right in right in [TS]

00:57:26   keeping with it like that like that [TS]

00:57:27   whole money thing called my now he's [TS]

00:57:30   gotta sell boners yard and there's a guy [TS]

00:57:31   covered in tattoos out there in december [TS]

00:57:34   with a with a hose like cleaning this [TS]

00:57:38   thing out and I swear to you he is on [TS]

00:57:41   his way here right now like he's he's in [TS]

00:57:44   traffic towing this sailboat over to my [TS]

00:57:47   house so that's the knock on the door [TS]

00:57:49   i'm looking for today I I i have a [TS]

00:57:52   passing interest in in lots of things [TS]

00:57:54   one of my passing interest is in cons I [TS]

00:57:56   don't know a lot about it like some kind [TS]

00:57:58   of short turns any song [TS]

00:58:00   well you know sometimes you do the short [TS]

00:58:01   kind of the long con right that's the [TS]

00:58:03   whole idea and people to understand no [TS]

00:58:04   you know this John roddick you been to [TS]

00:58:06   you doubt but the con it is confidence [TS]

00:58:09   it's just did this start let me just [TS]

00:58:11   guess did you start with watching this [TS]

00:58:14   thing has been in use since you were i [TS]

00:58:17   discovered is staying after watching law [TS]

00:58:18   and order [TS]

00:58:19   I think why don't you didn't see the [TS]

00:58:20   sting in the seventies now I did I did [TS]

00:58:23   know that was part of it i don't think [TS]

00:58:25   that I think that looks like a TV movie [TS]

00:58:26   it [TS]

00:58:27   it's ok but i think it looks like a TV [TS]

00:58:29   movie except that anytime Paul Newman is [TS]

00:58:32   on the screen you're looking into the [TS]

00:58:33   face of God [TS]

00:58:34   yeah and I'm a big robertshaw fan to [TS]

00:58:37   dial on again truly amazing actor actor [TS]

00:58:40   he's great in the jaws he's great in [TS]

00:58:42   Dirty Dozen he's great [TS]

00:58:43   which is a better movie than you think [TS]

00:58:44   he is really really good and force 10 [TS]

00:58:47   from navarone oh that's the that's like [TS]

00:58:50   three dozen junior now that the one with [TS]

00:58:52   Mark Hamill know it's the one where is [TS]

00:58:55   for sorry sorry yeah I'm not distracted [TS]

00:58:57   right now because if you search for [TS]

00:58:59   buckaroos on google the first return is [TS]

00:59:01   says welcome to buckaroos the leader in [TS]

00:59:03   pipe insulation support systems and [TS]

00:59:05   that's fucking Holocaust right there [TS]

00:59:07   well that's really strange because [TS]

00:59:08   there's a bar in seattle called [TS]

00:59:09   buckaroos it a key bar and they're the [TS]

00:59:12   leaders in pipe installation if you [TS]

00:59:14   don't accept that conduit now you know [TS]

00:59:19   what we're not doing this pipe [TS]

00:59:22   I'm don't i don't want to make you [TS]

00:59:24   paranoid John but I think somebody [TS]

00:59:28   calling you in saying could you do me a [TS]

00:59:30   favor by letting me watch [TS]

00:59:32   my sailboat in your yard that feels some [TS]

00:59:36   little Ricky Jay and me that says that [TS]

00:59:38   feels a little bit like a con [TS]

00:59:40   that's like a con like it's like a night [TS]

00:59:41   some kind of nigerian thing like if you [TS]

00:59:43   watch my sailboat for two days right I'm [TS]

00:59:46   gonna like rich I'm gonna bust Oh riches [TS]

00:59:48   on you like your he says you look I just [TS]

00:59:50   need five minutes to urinate could you [TS]

00:59:52   please watch the mizzenmast I'm thinking [TS]

00:59:53   tomorrow you don't have any more candles [TS]

00:59:55   that's gone candles gone and you're just [TS]

00:59:59   sitting [TS]

00:59:59   sitting [TS]

01:00:00   waiting for the door to knock there's a [TS]

01:00:01   there's strangely a part of me that woke [TS]

01:00:03   up this morning and thought what i need [TS]

01:00:06   to do is is packed one suitcase and [TS]

01:00:12   leave the rest behind pack one suitcase [TS]

01:00:15   and burn this whole house down like a [TS]

01:00:17   Norwegian funeral boat and just back to [TS]

01:00:22   one bag back to one key one key one bag [TS]

01:00:26   i think that's that's that's that's how [TS]

01:00:28   i woke up today [TS]

01:00:29   yeah i met when i started sorting [TS]

01:00:31   through my coin collection and or as a [TS]

01:00:35   kind of statement that eventually it [TS]

01:00:36   will appear on the government form [TS]

01:00:38   arrange my 40 cowboy boots into a new [TS]

01:00:41   pattern based on color and age doesn't [TS]

01:00:44   go [TS]

01:00:45   Merlin's calling soon unconsciously [TS]

01:00:47   picking out which pair quickly can you [TS]

01:00:49   walk over and and a lawyer is there he [TS]

01:00:52   tips his hat many hands you a briefcase [TS]

01:00:54   full of past in an edge looker its [TS]

01:00:57   inception a Glock your Glock John says [TS]

01:01:00   Manchurian Candidate activate definitely [TS]

01:01:05   again is the kindest is very crime and [TS]

01:01:10   ethnic Aegon I have a I have a gentle [TS]

01:01:12   person ya know you know what you want [TS]

01:01:15   your pancreas to explode that's no good [TS]

01:01:17   careful where you meet them don't come [TS]

01:01:19   back to REM goal vs golden hopefully [TS]

01:01:23   meet them i'm gonna write that down [TS]

01:01:24   that's a good lyric um that is pretty [TS]

01:01:26   good [TS]

01:01:27   she's at that sugar sand song careful [TS]

01:01:31   when you meet them is very simple [TS]

01:01:32   this is very easy all all that means is [TS]

01:01:34   along the lines of you and your Jewess [TS]

01:01:36   you have to be careful that if you meet [TS]

01:01:38   a lady at a place that you go to a lot [TS]

01:01:41   or you meet a lady at a police place [TS]

01:01:44   that you almost never go to and wouldn't [TS]

01:01:45   want to go to again either one of those [TS]

01:01:47   can be problematic and I think you can [TS]

01:01:49   understand already why both of that [TS]

01:01:51   would be the case and I don't think [TS]

01:01:52   people think about this i think they [TS]

01:01:53   meet somebody at the dive bar maybe even [TS]

01:01:55   god forbid a bartender and then that and [TS]

01:01:58   first of all bartenders are crazy for [TS]

01:02:00   ladies absolutely true not no seriously [TS]

01:02:02   that's not ping-pong right there are no [TS]

01:02:03   personal experience personal experiences [TS]

01:02:05   indicated to me that all girl bartenders [TS]

01:02:07   are crazy right [TS]

01:02:09   they're not like a box of chocolates but [TS]

01:02:10   that's like I mean the Venn diagram of [TS]

01:02:12   girls that are [TS]

01:02:13   crazy yeah as far as that overlaps the [TS]

01:02:17   Venn diagram of girls I'm not sure [TS]

01:02:20   really [TS]

01:02:21   um my a measure which is the bigger [TS]

01:02:24   should've finished my shrimp I think I'm [TS]

01:02:26   having a big amount of sugar drop are [TS]

01:02:28   you are you're just sitting there in [TS]

01:02:30   front of a plate of habit I have half a [TS]

01:02:33   bowl of butter shrimp that's just [TS]

01:02:35   cooling so this was this was a nice [TS]

01:02:37   knockdown by fire accidentally about 44 [TS]

01:02:39   pounds of shrimp and I wouldn't have [TS]

01:02:41   hurt immediate shrimp for lunch [TS]

01:02:42   I don't think Roderick I had to I had to [TS]

01:02:45   because I fucked up it was on sale [TS]

01:02:46   accident i thought it's my two pounds i [TS]

01:02:48   was buying four pounds was a solid ice [TS]

01:02:50   cube of shrimp you cannot do not [TS]

01:02:52   refreeze shrimp you do that once and [TS]

01:02:54   you're dead [TS]

01:02:54   one time I was in a trip three ways in [TS]

01:02:57   the last two days [TS]

01:02:58   shrimp three-way that's one of my [TS]

01:02:59   favorite that down but I heard those are [TS]

01:03:02   in three ways fine i was at the Sundance [TS]

01:03:05   Film Festival one time and wring out and [TS]

01:03:07   for the people at the supermarket there [TS]

01:03:09   in park city that's right John Wesley [TS]

01:03:12   Harding i'm not sure if you've heard of [TS]

01:03:13   him and obviously felt like hey the film [TS]

01:03:16   festival is coming we need to load up on [TS]

01:03:18   giant tiger shrimp like the biggest [TS]

01:03:22   shrimp you ever saw [TS]

01:03:23   perhaps without browser promised those [TS]

01:03:25   black shrimp are absolutely massive [TS]

01:03:27   shrimp shrimp were as big they were as [TS]

01:03:30   big as a Stanley screwdriver [TS]

01:03:32   I'm walking through the smell of that [TS]

01:03:34   Barker I'm walking through the [TS]

01:03:36   supermarket and here like over by the [TS]

01:03:39   deli is this pile of shrimp it's a [TS]

01:03:42   mountain of shrimp that they have [TS]

01:03:43   covered in ice sitting in the middle of [TS]

01:03:45   the like in the it's not in a case it's [TS]

01:03:48   just like their it's loose [TS]

01:03:50   yea Lou shrimp and there's a guy in a [TS]

01:03:52   white coat stand there like need any [TS]

01:03:53   shrimp and I said that's a lot of shrimp [TS]

01:03:57   and he was like we got away we had so [TS]

01:03:58   many shrimp here and they were they were [TS]

01:04:01   like that'sthat's like a meat-free it [TS]

01:04:04   was everything just like a doctor [TS]

01:04:06   it was incredibly tonight and he was [TS]

01:04:07   dressed like a doctor and Bob he said he [TS]

01:04:12   said you know we're letting the shrimp [TS]

01:04:14   go fire sale prices because we got all [TS]

01:04:15   we are more shrimp that we need and so I [TS]

01:04:18   bought four pounds of shrimp i'm only [TS]

01:04:20   there two days about 4 pounds of shrimp [TS]

01:04:23   and they were I mean there are these [TS]

01:04:25   humongous shrimp i went back to the we [TS]

01:04:29   were staying at a hotel but like a [TS]

01:04:30   timeshare cabin and it was the long [TS]

01:04:34   winters and the presidents of the USA [TS]

01:04:36   staying together in a in like a [TS]

01:04:38   timeshare cabin and I walked into the [TS]

01:04:41   door one o'clock in the morning with 4 [TS]

01:04:43   pounds of tiger shrimp in a bag and I [TS]

01:04:46   was like gentlemen [TS]

01:04:47   haha i know we're doing tonight and [TS]

01:04:51   always had this it was like I was it was [TS]

01:04:55   a it was like a shrimp show up we will [TS]

01:04:59   covered and shrimp head to toe shirt [TS]

01:05:01   knocked that's so that is so much shrimp [TS]

01:05:04   there's a lot of trial and she loves him [TS]

01:05:06   know what part of it is I shop too fast [TS]

01:05:08   i get a hurry i want to get home i'm [TS]

01:05:10   running late i'm bad with time I pick up [TS]

01:05:12   four pounds of shrimp accidentally and [TS]

01:05:13   things I don't like wasting food [TS]

01:05:15   I'm not like a pill about it but I [TS]

01:05:17   really don't like wasting food right so [TS]

01:05:19   that's why now I'm just sitting here on [TS]

01:05:21   just torpid from all of that so that's [TS]

01:05:24   the one rule is be careful we meet him [TS]

01:05:25   because then if you meet him at the [TS]

01:05:26   place that you don't go to a lot [TS]

01:05:28   well now it's like you and introversion [TS]

01:05:30   problem right now is going to be which [TS]

01:05:32   one do you go to where we gonna go to [TS]

01:05:33   shooters your fingers right and you're [TS]

01:05:35   going to have to have that discussion [TS]

01:05:36   each one has its ups and downs right [TS]

01:05:39   let's you want to see each other anymore [TS]

01:05:40   it's been so long since I've met a girl [TS]

01:05:42   at a bar I know I'm saying all this [TS]

01:05:44   phenomenally I had this it i had this in [TS]

01:05:45   a little spiral-bound notebook i'm just [TS]

01:05:47   reading this is taking phonetically you [TS]

01:05:49   don't know what it means everything is [TS]

01:05:50   right now just reading it [TS]

01:05:51   it's just a Japanese to you literally [TS]

01:05:54   stealing this kids in the holiday look [TS]

01:05:55   out literally right now and then the [TS]

01:05:57   other thing is and this is the this is [TS]

01:05:59   the the secret to happiness lationship [TS]

01:06:01   marriage in general try to minimize the [TS]

01:06:03   number of things that only you are [TS]

01:06:04   allowed to be right about oh my god are [TS]

01:06:07   you talking about i'm right about [TS]

01:06:08   everything right [TS]

01:06:09   yeah I was like on how do you mean [TS]

01:06:11   minimize well I'm not married so I feel [TS]

01:06:14   like I'm doing something right [TS]

01:06:15   that's a good point i'm right about [TS]

01:06:16   everything are you kidding me well that [TS]

01:06:17   I'm trying to be less right about this [TS]

01:06:19   is yeah um I think this is why this is [TS]

01:06:22   such an ideal relationship we have that [TS]

01:06:25   I can be your Boswell nam in my way you [TS]

01:06:29   know cuz and you know here's the thing [TS]

01:06:31   here's the thing about Bob here's the [TS]

01:06:34   thing about side Don rich and the book [TS]

01:06:37   here's the thing about the locker rooms [TS]

01:06:39   here's the thing about all these people [TS]

01:06:40   and here's the thing now if I were a [TS]

01:06:41   better man i would i would have I would [TS]

01:06:43   have walked with my shirt back into the [TS]

01:06:45   into the little man store and I would've [TS]

01:06:47   said listen little man i-i've made an [TS]

01:06:49   error me right [TS]

01:06:51   why are you talking like John Hodgman [TS]

01:06:53   now listen little man I've made an error [TS]

01:06:55   and i would like to return half the [TS]

01:06:56   shrimp [TS]

01:06:58   I'm sure you can see your way through to [TS]

01:07:01   resume and half my money [TS]

01:07:02   little man you must listen you now [TS]

01:07:05   here's the problem now we got the [TS]

01:07:06   Mandarin problem to I know how to say [TS]

01:07:08   exactly one thing in Mandarin and I [TS]

01:07:09   don't even say it right-- i can say for [TS]

01:07:10   sure that's all I know how to say what [TS]

01:07:12   does it mean it means shut up for thank [TS]

01:07:14   you i'm not sure i think it's thank you [TS]

01:07:15   but it could mean shut up no no matter [TS]

01:07:18   who's got that kind of little like [TS]

01:07:19   siblings [TS]

01:07:19   oh well it's a it's a tonal language [TS]

01:07:22   right so it depends on what what your [TS]

01:07:24   pitches when you say to ya shah and show [TS]

01:07:26   could be different things [TS]

01:07:28   oh absolutely and you could be saying it [TS]

01:07:29   like in you're the asshole right if [TS]

01:07:31   you're doing the wrong thing that's [TS]

01:07:32   happened it's like that the 10 years I [TS]

01:07:34   spent going into far restaurants and [TS]

01:07:36   saying I'd like a bowl of thumb please [TS]

01:07:38   and they would go huh hi this is the [TS]

01:07:40   same 4444 to make the transition to [TS]

01:07:45   begin just stare [TS]

01:07:46   hi say it because they would go all [TS]

01:07:49   follow and I go yeah that's exactly what [TS]

01:07:52   I said at maywood IL alright okay thanks [TS]

01:07:55   fuck I just point out that used to be a [TS]

01:07:56   French colony and the French are [TS]

01:07:58   constantly always correcting people's [TS]

01:08:00   pronunciation [TS]

01:08:01   yeah so anyway I go in there I you know [TS]

01:08:04   if I were you or I were Bob or I were [TS]

01:08:05   one of the buckaroos i would probably [TS]

01:08:07   walk in there and i would say in the [TS]

01:08:09   clearest voice that i can even though [TS]

01:08:10   nobody from Asia can ever understand [TS]

01:08:12   what I'm saying i would say listen i've [TS]

01:08:14   made a grave error these shrimp are [TS]

01:08:16   still good and hard [TS]

01:08:17   could i trade these in for maybe [TS]

01:08:18   something more like two pounds of shrimp [TS]

01:08:19   but now i'm sitting here and I'm [TS]

01:08:21   literally eating my mistake [TS]

01:08:22   yeah your station is that it's [TS]

01:08:24   crustacean right it's a crustacean you [TS]

01:08:26   have more you have more shrimp than you [TS]

01:08:28   can possibly eat and shrimp is not a [TS]

01:08:31   type of thing that you can't like you're [TS]

01:08:32   not going to grind up the shrimp and put [TS]

01:08:34   it in your spaghetti sauce [TS]

01:08:36   why would you there's only so many ways [TS]

01:08:37   yeah i mean if you bought too much [TS]

01:08:39   hamburger forget about you got hamburger [TS]

01:08:42   meat [TS]

01:08:42   you're just gonna find different ways to [TS]

01:08:44   use this is not this is not subdivide [TS]

01:08:46   this is not condone shrimp it was one [TS]

01:08:48   large contiguous block of shrimp [TS]

01:08:50   and I had to thought and cook right so [TS]

01:08:52   what you really bought was three pounds [TS]

01:08:54   of shrimp and one pound of ice [TS]

01:08:55   yeah but basically saying is I mama [TS]

01:08:58   Nicholas weasel and I wish I had your [TS]

01:08:59   certainty and ability to help people [TS]

01:09:01   including myself you know I don't want [TS]

01:09:03   your fever dreams and you know but but I [TS]

01:09:06   i really admire that about you as I seen [TS]

01:09:09   you argue with people about money it's [TS]

01:09:10   fun [TS]

01:09:11   mhm well I i got into a disagreement [TS]

01:09:14   with somebody here in Seattle the other [TS]

01:09:16   day that right yeah if you can believe [TS]

01:09:18   it and and and it was and I was back to [TS]

01:09:21   the same old problem up here which is [TS]

01:09:24   that and i think this is a problem [TS]

01:09:26   nationwide now people have have grown so [TS]

01:09:30   accustomed to never arguing with [TS]

01:09:32   somebody that when they begin an [TS]

01:09:34   argument when somebody comes to them [TS]

01:09:36   with an argument is the bad words they [TS]

01:09:39   are so terrorized find that by the by [TS]

01:09:42   any conflict that that in their minds [TS]

01:09:46   they have never had conflict with people [TS]

01:09:49   and what they're not understanding is [TS]

01:09:51   that they are constantly in conflict [TS]

01:09:52   with people it's just all being resolved [TS]

01:09:54   so passively to know one satisfaction [TS]

01:09:58   that you know that that that everybody's [TS]

01:10:02   just spinning their emotional wheels [TS]

01:10:03   nobody is nothing is being accomplished [TS]

01:10:05   everybody's just so like gentle with [TS]

01:10:07   each other and I'm I'm sorry did I [TS]

01:10:10   offend you know did I offend you oh and [TS]

01:10:11   let's agree to disagree okay when [TS]

01:10:13   everything's fine and nobody's getting [TS]

01:10:16   what they want at all you know but there [TS]

01:10:18   but they have lost the capacity to have [TS]

01:10:20   someone come up to them and say excuse [TS]

01:10:21   me hi um I ordered two pounds of shrimp [TS]

01:10:24   and I got four and i would like to [TS]

01:10:27   return it and and also I would like to [TS]

01:10:30   just ask you how you thought two pounds [TS]

01:10:33   meant for or whatever you know like [TS]

01:10:34   you've got a problem [TS]

01:10:36   it's not just that you anything [TS]

01:10:37   everything is a seminar special it's a [TS]

01:10:39   salmon especially two pounds of salmon [TS]

01:10:41   yeah because I'm not just about grocery [TS]

01:10:43   store people have added just with you [TS]

01:10:44   but no and I'm not just being ping-pong [TS]

01:10:46   you would sit there until that was [TS]

01:10:47   resolved until you until you to your [TS]

01:10:50   satisfaction but had not only fixed but [TS]

01:10:52   acknowledged it that you were you were [TS]

01:10:54   you were the better a person in this [TS]

01:10:55   problem is up here and my problem is [TS]

01:10:57   that sometimes when i get when i get my [TS]

01:10:59   parents your dander [TS]

01:11:00   get better one of the things one of my [TS]

01:11:02   problems is that I demand an apology and [TS]

01:11:05   i have done this many times and it [TS]

01:11:07   almost never is a good strategy but i do [TS]

01:11:09   it i went into the activity of the story [TS]

01:11:11   i went into the north face don't think [TS]

01:11:13   God the north face bag story [TS]

01:11:17   yeah and maybe i might need to pee they [TS]

01:11:19   were like like I will give you will we [TS]

01:11:23   will we will give you your a noob and [TS]

01:11:25   what John you should you should you [TS]

01:11:27   should let me pee you start telling the [TS]

01:11:29   story i will go pee and I'll make this [TS]

01:11:30   also i'm down about half punishment you [TS]

01:11:32   start telling the story and then I'm [TS]

01:11:34   going to come back this 90 90 90 90 90 [TS]

01:11:37   you go running p and i'll tell the story [TS]

01:11:38   and just go with the money that's going [TS]

01:11:40   to walk and everything are you what we [TS]

01:11:42   talked about what you look like a we [TS]

01:11:45   talked about how much you had had had [TS]

01:11:46   had relied on their products for a very [TS]

01:11:48   long time no I'm dead I'm dead serious [TS]

01:11:51   i'm seeing people keep talking right so [TS]

01:11:53   anyway in 1999 i walked from amsterdam [TS]

01:11:55   to Istanbul and I in advance of the trip [TS]

01:11:59   i bought a backpack from north face [TS]

01:12:02   because growing up in Alaska I always [TS]

01:12:05   considered north face to have the finest [TS]

01:12:06   outdoor gear at least I thought they did [TS]

01:12:09   back in the early eighties so i bought [TS]

01:12:11   this bag at north face and you know the [TS]

01:12:13   thing about backpacks is that they [TS]

01:12:15   always want to sell you a bigger [TS]

01:12:16   backpack and that is the wrong way to [TS]

01:12:19   buy a backpack you actually want to get [TS]

01:12:20   the smallest backpack you you can [TS]

01:12:22   because you're carrying all your shit on [TS]

01:12:23   your bag around on your back [TS]

01:12:25   I'm sorry so anyway I got this backpack [TS]

01:12:28   and I'm i walked from amsterdam to [TS]

01:12:29   Istanbul in about three-quarters of the [TS]

01:12:31   way across the continent of Europe [TS]

01:12:34   somewhere in the somewhere in the [TS]

01:12:37   mountains of Romania the the backpack [TS]

01:12:41   fails like that the the the the material [TS]

01:12:44   rips and it fails because it's because [TS]

01:12:47   it's a shitty product it's it's a it's [TS]

01:12:50   poorly made thing it isn't made to to [TS]

01:12:52   walk across Europe it's made to take [TS]

01:12:55   your books to school or it's made to go [TS]

01:12:57   on overnight trips or something it isn't [TS]

01:12:59   a piece of hardy gear anyway so I have [TS]

01:13:01   to take this back off and fix it with my [TS]

01:13:04   sewing kit and i'm missing again John [TS]

01:13:06   how far into the walk is this is toward [TS]

01:13:08   the end well [TS]

01:13:09   so it's three quarters of the way so I'm [TS]

01:13:10   so you know I'm in the am [TS]

01:13:13   come out i'm in the Romanian mountains [TS]

01:13:15   in the backpack comes apart and so the [TS]

01:13:17   whole rest of the trip through romania [TS]

01:13:19   and bulgaria in Turkey every few days I [TS]

01:13:22   have to take this backpack off at him [TS]

01:13:24   and I have to fix it with my sewing kit [TS]

01:13:26   and every time I have to do it and every [TS]

01:13:29   day that this thing is digging into my [TS]

01:13:30   side as I walk I'm just building up my [TS]

01:13:33   fear every steam and my beard is really [TS]

01:13:36   long and my eyes have become kind of [TS]

01:13:38   crystal blue like a wolves like a wolf [TS]

01:13:43   sighs you know because i am in the Sun [TS]

01:13:45   all day and and it's bleached out all [TS]

01:13:47   the pigment in my in my face and hair [TS]

01:13:49   cells John Carter of Mars and I come [TS]

01:13:52   back to seattle at the end of this trip [TS]

01:13:54   and I and I save it up for a week you [TS]

01:13:56   know just like I'm just cultivating my [TS]

01:13:58   fury and so after a week I walk down to [TS]

01:14:03   I don't take him outside [TS]

01:14:04   you can't reflecting on the experience [TS]

01:14:06   of having walked across the continent he [TS]

01:14:08   came back and got ready for exactly how [TS]

01:14:11   you're going to handle broke i was act i [TS]

01:14:13   was cultivating this for a long time I [TS]

01:14:15   walk down and I walked into the north [TS]

01:14:17   face store and I don't know if you've [TS]

01:14:20   been into a north face store but their [TS]

01:14:21   job now as north north they seized it [TS]

01:14:24   their job is to sell puffy jackets to [TS]

01:14:27   Japanese college students like that they [TS]

01:14:29   have no they have no their connection to [TS]

01:14:31   the outdoors is just that they have [TS]

01:14:33   giant pictures of people scaling [TS]

01:14:36   mountains up on the wall of their store [TS]

01:14:38   but if you look around the store it's [TS]

01:14:40   all coeds it's sorority girls buying [TS]

01:14:42   puffy jackets that's what they do [TS]

01:14:44   I walk in istambul the store and i've [TS]

01:14:47   got i still have leaves and sticks in my [TS]

01:14:49   hair and and I I swear to you I could [TS]

01:14:51   cut through three inches of steel with [TS]

01:14:54   my eyeballs and this this little sales [TS]

01:14:58   girl walks over she's like I can help [TS]

01:14:59   you and I said I just walked from [TS]

01:15:07   amsterdam to stand pool with your shitty [TS]

01:15:10   backpack and it broke halfway through [TS]

01:15:13   and I was out there in the field i was [TS]

01:15:16   like one of these guys on the mountain [TS]

01:15:18   let you have up here on the wall and I [TS]

01:15:21   trusted your gear and it let me down and [TS]

01:15:24   I demand satisfaction [TS]

01:15:26   and she said arm okay well what can we [TS]

01:15:31   tell me what can we do can we do you [TS]

01:15:34   want to return the bag and I said no I [TS]

01:15:37   don't want to return it [TS]

01:15:39   I don't want to return it I did enough [TS]

01:15:41   that I demand satisfaction and she was [TS]

01:15:45   like let me call a manager and so the [TS]

01:15:47   guy comes over he's like can I help you [TS]

01:15:49   I'm like and i tell my story again in a [TS]

01:15:53   rising voice and he's like well here's [TS]

01:15:56   what we can do we can give you a new bag [TS]

01:15:57   and I was like oh you'll give me a new [TS]

01:15:59   bag but had demand satisfaction and he [TS]

01:16:03   was like well what do you want and I was [TS]

01:16:04   like what i want is a refund of my money [TS]

01:16:08   for this bag a new bag for free and an [TS]

01:16:11   apology and he was like well who he [TS]

01:16:15   can't we can't do that and I started to [TS]

01:16:20   rant and understanding in the store [TS]

01:16:23   ranting there was a time when outdoor [TS]

01:16:27   gear was something you could stake your [TS]

01:16:30   life on your hanging by a thread hanging [TS]

01:16:33   by a thread and if you can't trust [TS]

01:16:36   northeast gear [TS]

01:16:38   what can you trust and you know these [TS]

01:16:41   people were like really really running [TS]

01:16:43   for cover and I stood there shaking the [TS]

01:16:46   leaves out of my beard was there all [TS]

01:16:48   afternoon until until I got my [TS]

01:16:51   satisfaction and I was threatening to I [TS]

01:16:54   was ready to write an article for The [TS]

01:16:56   New York Times who say that's it that I [TS]

01:16:59   was started and the Sasquatch comes to [TS]

01:17:03   me right Mina hardcore northeastern [TS]

01:17:06   favor me important man me demand [TS]

01:17:09   satisfaction [TS]

01:17:10   anyway I still so I still have the i [TS]

01:17:12   still have the rotten bag and I saw the [TS]

01:17:15   new bag and i still have my satisfaction [TS]

01:17:18   well I was the eventual apologize to and [TS]

01:17:20   what had it had it did that did that [TS]

01:17:21   come as I'm sorry you're unhappy or dick [TS]

01:17:24   like I'm sorry we fucked up [TS]

01:17:25   yeah I will not taking I'm sorry you're [TS]

01:17:27   unhappy that makes it twice as bad [TS]

01:17:29   I will and and i'm sure they tried that [TS]

01:17:31   and let's call it a big city apology and [TS]

01:17:34   I'm sure that I started screaming at [TS]

01:17:36   them even [TS]

01:17:36   more although one time somebody gave me [TS]

01:17:38   a big city apology and it actually [TS]

01:17:40   shamed me into silence [TS]

01:17:43   I was yelling at a at a concierge in a [TS]

01:17:45   hotel in new york city in a wheelchair [TS]

01:17:47   was yelling at them because of something [TS]

01:17:50   is four o'clock in the morning I was [TS]

01:17:52   yelling at them on the phone and and and [TS]

01:17:55   the woman the woman was from she was [TS]

01:17:56   like 55 year-old woman from Ukraine or [TS]

01:18:00   something and and she was to throw for a [TS]

01:18:03   while she was kind of arguing with me [TS]

01:18:05   pushing back in this kind of Slavic way [TS]

01:18:07   like well sir that is just our policy [TS]

01:18:09   you know this type of thing and I was [TS]

01:18:11   like what [TS]

01:18:11   that's a bullshit policy and and and she [TS]

01:18:14   she pushed back for like 3-4 minutes and [TS]

01:18:18   then all of a sudden her voice dropped a [TS]

01:18:20   register at you want i don't sorry sir [TS]

01:18:23   you have my deepest apologies [TS]

01:18:26   Oh supplicant and I it was it wasn't it [TS]

01:18:30   was incredible and it stopped me in my [TS]

01:18:31   tracks was like oh my goodness like this [TS]

01:18:35   woman who probably has three advanced [TS]

01:18:39   degrees from the Ukrainian astrophysics [TS]

01:18:42   lab you know you are your fat race finds [TS]

01:18:44   taking shots at people walking around [TS]

01:18:46   that's right you're fat you're fat [TS]

01:18:47   shirtless for a fine shooting people [TS]

01:18:49   just shooting people for be enough [TS]

01:18:50   people and laugh and laugh and shooting [TS]

01:18:52   and all of a sudden I was like I was [TS]

01:18:54   deeply ashamed because she got so she [TS]

01:18:57   got so old world on me like yes sir [TS]

01:19:00   absolutely right i'm gonna have my [TS]

01:19:02   deepest what you said you did you give [TS]

01:19:03   her a small-town apology [TS]

01:19:05   no I went like well alright them so like [TS]

01:19:08   your fucking Clifton Webb ok so well [TS]

01:19:10   then thank you I appreciate it and yes [TS]

01:19:13   well then i will be getting off the [TS]

01:19:16   phone now I'm very reluctant to share a [TS]

01:19:18   couple anecdotes that are related to [TS]

01:19:19   this 1i base one time I man who had gone [TS]

01:19:24   through our trash more times than i [TS]

01:19:25   would like and made a mess basically [TS]

01:19:27   threatened to have him deported [TS]

01:19:29   oh wow no not directly not directly i [TS]

01:19:32   stood there and took photos of him when [TS]

01:19:34   acted like I was talking on the phone on [TS]

01:19:37   haha which is nothing so white it's this [TS]

01:19:42   can go one more is there is no other [TS]

01:19:45   race in move in the world [TS]

01:19:47   in the history of the world that would [TS]

01:19:48   do that that is just like I hate to be [TS]

01:19:51   racist [TS]

01:19:51   you know there's no room in this podcast [TS]

01:19:53   for racism know that now that that's [TS]

01:19:57   such a San Francisco move less than a [TS]

01:19:59   week ago here's how my conversation with [TS]

01:20:00   somebody at a hotel desk ended [TS]

01:20:02   do you have a bank account do you [TS]

01:20:06   understand what it means to have a bank [TS]

01:20:08   account [TS]

01:20:09   haha i have the address of the vice [TS]

01:20:12   president of hospitality of your owner [TS]

01:20:15   go me but google me that's a good one [TS]

01:20:21   that's going that unit do you follow [TS]

01:20:23   screen on Twitter [TS]

01:20:25   yep oh sweet moves that swing when is he [TS]

01:20:28   stood over he's from you know he's from [TS]

01:20:30   these from canadian canadian is a [TS]

01:20:31   canadian money up there is such a great [TS]

01:20:34   twitter is very very smart person to I [TS]

01:20:36   really love his voice or whatever and [TS]

01:20:39   and also his wife damsel esque she's [TS]

01:20:44   cute as a bug's ear [TS]

01:20:45   yes she is and and she has considerably [TS]

01:20:47   fewer followers then swing he has like a [TS]

01:20:49   million different teacher he's been [TS]

01:20:50   featured in that quarter away where it's [TS]

01:20:52   like you get auto auto thing I think [TS]

01:20:54   there's a lot of lot of pressure I I [TS]

01:20:56   would never want that that's what he [TS]

01:20:57   wants but he maintains he maintains a [TS]

01:20:59   very humorous person online i like [TS]

01:21:01   inversion usually good-natured hey I [TS]

01:21:03   remember some event a few months ago [TS]

01:21:06   where damsel asked was because it's nice [TS]

01:21:08   to fall it's nice to follow both members [TS]

01:21:10   of a couple on twitter because you can [TS]

01:21:12   see their little relationship play out [TS]

01:21:13   and she was in some situations some [TS]

01:21:16   situation which he was like do you know [TS]

01:21:18   how many followers my husband has a [TS]

01:21:20   better go him and I think but oh that's [TS]

01:21:24   so good because they're there are people [TS]

01:21:27   there are people whose job it is to care [TS]

01:21:28   and then there are the vast majority of [TS]

01:21:30   people in the world who are like who you [TS]

01:21:32   what you have but here's the thing John [TS]

01:21:35   and this is why you're a better man than [TS]

01:21:37   me [TS]

01:21:37   I mean at least you walked across Europe [TS]

01:21:39   like I have I have I have when I hear [TS]

01:21:42   i'm waiting for my small town apology [TS]

01:21:45   and my money back and my 950 dollars [TS]

01:21:48   back that you held on my card [TS]

01:21:50   no offense [TS]

01:21:52   I become a person i do not want to be [TS]

01:21:55   yeah yeah so I give you another sign [TS]

01:21:59   this is another sign off as long as I'm [TS]

01:22:01   staring all my dirty laundry [TS]

01:22:03   I had a call with AT&T the end with and [TS]

01:22:06   you know what a hundred and sixty [TS]

01:22:08   thousand people are about to find out [TS]

01:22:11   how much cock you suck haha take that a [TS]

01:22:16   TD and then I felt like you with the the [TS]

01:22:20   Ukrainian immigrant right like oh that's [TS]

01:22:23   not a problem google me what the fuck [TS]

01:22:25   does that even mean google me google the [TS]

01:22:28   big city apology for you meet them [TS]

01:22:31   oh you know there's a part of me that [TS]

01:22:32   wants to be the most famous person that [TS]

01:22:34   ever graduated from my highschool one of [TS]

01:22:36   the great men and I'm and I'm i think i [TS]

01:22:39   may already be but i'm not sure about [TS]

01:22:41   this because I don't know that is one of [TS]

01:22:43   those like little gingerbread like [TS]

01:22:44   little red schoolhouse type things [TS]

01:22:46   no no Michael kids with Farm accidents [TS]

01:22:48   and a girl who is eventually gonna have [TS]

01:22:50   anorexia local we use the star of the [TS]

01:22:52   show [TS]

01:22:52   this is the thing about Alaska is the [TS]

01:22:54   thing this is the thing about Alaska [TS]

01:22:56   yeah my high school had like like 2,000 [TS]

01:23:00   kids it was a massive me too [TS]

01:23:03   we didn't city high school right a 600 [TS]

01:23:05   and 600 66 kids in my entering freshman [TS]

01:23:08   class for all I know there's a Nobel [TS]

01:23:10   laureate from my high school and [TS]

01:23:11   actually i think i think there is a guy [TS]

01:23:13   from a couple of classes ahead of me [TS]

01:23:14   that wrote a best-selling novel so that [TS]

01:23:17   he may I may not [TS]

01:23:19   he may not be more famous XD Larson but [TS]

01:23:25   he's certainly like it is not steal [TS]

01:23:27   arson but he certainly accomplished i [TS]

01:23:30   mean there are plenty of people who from [TS]

01:23:32   my highschool accomplished i wanted i [TS]

01:23:33   wanted to be a slam dunk I want people [TS]

01:23:35   to think when they think like East High [TS]

01:23:38   School in Anchorage who graduated from [TS]

01:23:39   there [TS]

01:23:40   oh well there's only one need to know [TS]

01:23:42   and i'm still a long way from that I [TS]

01:23:44   don't know how to get there is no way is [TS]

01:23:46   west is West High School where I'm sorry [TS]

01:23:47   it's less high school randy rhoads [TS]

01:23:49   played west high schools where Randy [TS]

01:23:51   Rhoads plane and West High School was [TS]

01:23:53   originally Anchorage high school there [TS]

01:23:55   was only one and then when they built [TS]

01:23:57   East the second high school when they [TS]

01:23:59   renamed Anchorage here Jocassee your Joe [TS]

01:24:01   Kennedy not joking around your Edward [TS]

01:24:04   Kennedy you like little guy [TS]

01:24:06   God why can't you pick a better Kennedy [TS]

01:24:08   for me to be huge like maybe they've all [TS]

01:24:11   passed i think i'd like to be the guy [TS]

01:24:15   rosemary is really like your junior Joe [TS]

01:24:17   Jr who died in a in a catastrophic [TS]

01:24:20   explosion on a suicide mission and a [TS]

01:24:24   bomber over Europe you know junior died [TS]

01:24:26   right Glenn Miller well no they had been [TS]

01:24:29   there was this project where they were [TS]

01:24:30   they loaded up like a b-17 or a [TS]

01:24:33   Lancaster bomber privilege men are they [TS]

01:24:36   loaded the they loaded the thing up with [TS]

01:24:38   explosives the entire thing was just a [TS]

01:24:40   giant bomb and the and the mission was [TS]

01:24:44   to fly it over and just it was like a it [TS]

01:24:47   was like a kamikaze airplane except the [TS]

01:24:50   pilot was supposed to bail out what is [TS]

01:24:53   this is gonna hit the silk we thought [TS]

01:24:55   this was a good idea i was so it was [TS]

01:24:57   World War two that we're still figuring [TS]

01:24:58   it is that is a shitting in shameful [TS]

01:25:00   strategy so Joe Kennedy volunteers for [TS]

01:25:04   this mission because he's conscious of [TS]

01:25:06   being groomed to one day be the [TS]

01:25:08   president of the United States this is [TS]

01:25:10   the one who's that sighs ones like the [TS]

01:25:12   favorite son right this is the oldest [TS]

01:25:13   you have a favorite song right and [TS]

01:25:14   Jack's the one Jack's got all kinds of [TS]

01:25:16   diseases and Hodgman disease and share [TS]

01:25:18   right Jax Jax like Jackson given what's [TS]

01:25:20   called management's disease what it [TS]

01:25:21   wants to charge can I think he had I [TS]

01:25:23   think he had a hat Addison had his [TS]

01:25:25   punishments diseases where you grow an [TS]

01:25:27   incongruous mustache that doesn't match [TS]

01:25:29   your hair color [TS]

01:25:30   yeah but in any case he's flying over [TS]

01:25:33   the English Channel sticking this is [TS]

01:25:35   gonna look this is gonna look great in [TS]

01:25:36   this is amazing i'm gonna bail out of [TS]

01:25:38   this thing and it's gonna and I'm gonna [TS]

01:25:39   fly this plane into a dam or something i [TS]

01:25:41   don't remember what the mission was but [TS]

01:25:43   halfway over the English Channel they [TS]

01:25:45   they you know they're on the radio like [TS]

01:25:47   all right it's a turn on the servos or [TS]

01:25:50   flip this flip the the the primer switch [TS]

01:25:54   or something and they flipped the switch [TS]

01:25:56   there's electrical short and the thing [TS]

01:25:58   blows up into a billion pieces over the [TS]

01:26:01   English Channel with a fortnightly they [TS]

01:26:03   set it off remotely no no that it was an [TS]

01:26:05   accident they like he slipped the wrong [TS]

01:26:08   switch for the for the thing had a [TS]

01:26:09   electrical short or something [TS]

01:26:11   he was just getting it he was just like [TS]

01:26:12   getting it ready and they're like oh [TS]

01:26:15   oops [TS]

01:26:17   that's that's awful what a terrible and [TS]

01:26:19   II think he knew it was coming [TS]

01:26:20   no I find I think he was a Kennedy I [TS]

01:26:23   think it was like haha uh on guard a [TS]

01:26:26   slim pickins and yeah that's right yeah [TS]

01:26:28   and he was you know he was ready to he [TS]

01:26:32   was ready to be thought he was gonna be [TS]

01:26:34   back in London the next night getting [TS]

01:26:36   toasted in the mayfair that's miserable [TS]

01:26:39   instead he's vaporized and then Jack was [TS]

01:26:44   like oops me to me huh he got over his [TS]

01:26:49   Hodgkin's disease and put people on a [TS]

01:26:50   leather strap him to the ground now is [TS]

01:26:52   it that happen today we have a big i [TS]

01:26:55   have a model of pt 109 right here in the [TS]

01:26:57   room with me that a but I've had since I [TS]

01:26:59   was a kid like I unsung pt-109 you on [TS]

01:27:04   some PT seems a little optimistically [TS]

01:27:06   you might be more appropriate to have [TS]

01:27:07   the one that went down well actually [TS]

01:27:09   this one I played with it so hard as a [TS]

01:27:12   kid that it actually would not float now [TS]

01:27:15   it is it it's more it's closer to the [TS]

01:27:18   wrecked pt-109 that drained of its [TS]

01:27:22   brilliancy i have i've taken its [TS]

01:27:24   buoyancy it'sit's now it's not a replica [TS]

01:27:28   it's a replica of the one on the bottom [TS]

01:27:29   of the ocean [TS]

01:27:32   heyy in philadelphia terry grossest [TS]

01:27:35   freshing shame before you meet him I [TS]

01:27:42   like big city apology lots have these [TS]

01:27:46   fucking shrimp [TS]

01:27:47   yeah you've got like the next couple of [TS]

01:27:49   days oh well my friends guys are getting [TS]

01:27:52   to get all guide are you getting sponge [TS]

01:27:54   I got spongy my other friend sent me a [TS]

01:27:57   text with a picture of its sailboat here [TS]

01:27:59   you better get going pretty ready [TS]

01:28:02   looks like a fixed keel fiberglass 21 [TS]

01:28:05   footer they want to fix kill I'm just [TS]

01:28:07   saying I'm just saying that like first [TS]

01:28:09   first blush i'm gonna stay 21 feet even [TS]

01:28:11   an eyeball that you can have all that [TS]

01:28:12   from a text message [TS]

01:28:13   yeah I think you could you get overnight [TS]

01:28:15   on this boat women love a fixed keel in [TS]

01:28:17   my in my experience they certainly do [TS]

01:28:19   although again I don't know what women [TS]

01:28:21   want [TS]

01:28:21   here's the thing itself in [TS]

01:28:23   here's the thing have you decided what [TS]

01:28:26   boots you're wearing I I'm you know I [TS]

01:28:29   think today I'm gonna wear some [TS]

01:28:30   underwear some work boots not some dress [TS]

01:28:35   boots because I'm just suddenly out of [TS]

01:28:38   what you basically being an extremely [TS]

01:28:40   heterosexual men of the village people i [TS]

01:28:45   think today I'm gonna go to construction [TS]

01:28:47   work going construction worker today [TS]

01:28:49   because the other day I was walking out [TS]

01:28:51   of my house and I saw that the moles got [TS]

01:28:54   all your moles I got moles and and i've [TS]

01:28:57   been i've been fighting the molds for [TS]

01:28:59   years and the moles and I kind of had a [TS]

01:29:01   truce like all right I understand their [TS]

01:29:03   moles in the graveyard mold a talent [TS]

01:29:05   I'm not I'm not I'm not going to be one [TS]

01:29:06   of those people who's out here obsessed [TS]

01:29:08   with the moles but most are not going to [TS]

01:29:10   let moles just piled dirt up of their [TS]

01:29:13   own accord you know like if if if i [TS]

01:29:15   seemed old dirt [TS]

01:29:16   I'm gonna go jump on it and in that way [TS]

01:29:19   they're gonna know that like that i'm [TS]

01:29:21   aware that they're there and they need [TS]

01:29:23   to keep a low profile but I went out the [TS]

01:29:24   other day they had you know it up [TS]

01:29:27   anymore they had piled they had built [TS]

01:29:29   like they had built a chicken it's a [TS]

01:29:32   mound in my front yard [TS]

01:29:36   I that was like what's that mean that [TS]

01:29:39   the chicken it's a red kitchen it's the [TS]

01:29:42   the Mayan temple in the Cynthia and the [TS]

01:29:47   and your most made it might have made a [TS]

01:29:50   Mayan temple that they made that they [TS]

01:29:52   made a double power they're out there [TS]

01:29:54   with a fork and mash potatoes making [TS]

01:29:56   this big thing in my front yard and I [TS]

01:29:57   was like thank you but that's your third [TS]

01:29:59   that's that's your state land that's [TS]

01:30:01   when you said this is a line that you [TS]

01:30:02   will not cross you said you've got to be [TS]

01:30:04   fucking kidding me you're building a [TS]

01:30:05   temple your building multiple yeah [TS]

01:30:07   you're supposed to keep a low profile [TS]

01:30:08   this is de tanto feel like we haven't we [TS]

01:30:10   had an agreement like you guys I wasn't [TS]

01:30:12   going to come out here with like mole [TS]

01:30:14   traps but you can't just like colonize [TS]

01:30:18   my front yard so I have to go out there [TS]

01:30:20   in my boots and really let them know I [TS]

01:30:22   don't know what I'm gonna do maybe I'm [TS]

01:30:24   maybe I'm gonna stick a hose down and [TS]

01:30:25   drown them out or something about morals [TS]

01:30:28   you should dress is an Indian huh [TS]

01:30:31   ok [TS]

01:30:32   like sleep that is named Philippe [TS]

01:30:34   Philippe don't Caddyshack now haha sorry [TS]

01:30:38   I think I think I think it out there on [TS]

01:30:40   briar isn't fleet the Indian wasn't his [TS]

01:30:42   name [TS]

01:30:43   I'm not sure that Philippe is an Indian [TS]

01:30:45   name that's not my point i think Glen [TS]

01:30:48   Glen Oak Lane he's now with your guitar [TS]

01:30:50   store we see the leather man oh where [TS]

01:30:52   we're talking about Village People [TS]

01:30:54   yes gentlemen I have all the the head [TS]

01:30:57   here's the thing which people of all the [TS]

01:31:00   headgear that i have here an Indian [TS]

01:31:02   headdress is one that I blacking you [TS]

01:31:04   know for a long time I went through this [TS]

01:31:06   phase where I was or where I would be [TS]

01:31:08   dating a girl and I would you know [TS]

01:31:09   there's a certain moment you have to [TS]

01:31:12   wait for the moment to ask the girl [TS]

01:31:14   you're dating to dress like Pocahontas [TS]

01:31:17   you can't do that like first date [TS]

01:31:19   you can't even do that it's not even in [TS]

01:31:21   the first month but at a certain point [TS]

01:31:22   you kind of sneaking into conversation [TS]

01:31:24   like no everything is inflating simply [TS]

01:31:27   gets the highest have your have you ever [TS]

01:31:29   thought about dressing up for Halloween [TS]

01:31:32   this Pocahontas or four not Halloween [TS]

01:31:34   and you know some some girls are more [TS]

01:31:40   game than others some like Sacagawea but [TS]

01:31:42   but as time went on I realized that I [TS]

01:31:45   didn't it wasn't really about Pocahontas [TS]

01:31:47   that the historical character I was not [TS]

01:31:50   it was not a role-playing thing [TS]

01:31:52   yeah I just like loincloths [TS]

01:31:57   I didn't have to go to this whole like [TS]

01:32:00   Pocahontas thing [TS]

01:32:02   [Music] [TS]