Ep. 10: "They Usually Come in the Mornings"
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hello hi John how are you hi Merlin was
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going it's going pretty well I haven't
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been getting a ton of sleep now really
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yeah you've been eating cake I've been
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even cake certain a certain kind you
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stocked up on
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well I well it's pumpkin pie season so I
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have them have a pumpkin pie but I also
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i have a chocolate cake too
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or what's left of the chocolate cake I
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worked my way through a pretty fast I
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can't get into your house
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well in this case I made it I made a
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chocolate cake i sat down knowingly and
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produced fifteen thousand calories of
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chocolate cake for myself
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actually it was a birthday cake I made
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for a friend that then I just kept the
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majority of so many questions I mean I I
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did cut it you I did cut a portion of it
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out and put it in a Tupperware container
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and give it to her and said and i said
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happy birthday but most of the cake was
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it clearly cut from Elijah cake just
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give somebody a partial part a cake she
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was standing there and said that's my
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that's my birthday cake right I'm gonna
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give that to me
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not yet to take and i said i'll give you
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some and I got cut her off a out a
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healthy portion
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not the majority of it my first my first
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thought I'm sorry used to alcohol
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references my first thought was being
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the guy who arrives with the 12 pack of
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busch light that has two beers left in
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it but but then i was reminded of as you
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know one of that one of the great films
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vacation when when randy quaid says the
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Chevy Chase I bet you could use a cool
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one in their hands in the beer that he's
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been drinking
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mhm now I'm not saying it's the same
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thing I know you're not you're not
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you're not a drinker but with the cake
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cut when she wrote that i did walk
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through a part of the other day and say
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you know address the room and say
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anybody want some
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anybody want a cup of coffee I'm i got
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coffee i was making a pot in the other
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room and a bunch of people turned to me
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and then I noticed house holding a I was
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just holding it like a Starbucks cup
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right look down on me and I was like I
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mean I got the last little bit here
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anybody want some no takers no I think
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I'm parties you go to that not a lot I I
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mean I know you live in and in this is
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specifically a city that is obsessed
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with coffee by the parties the parties
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that you walk through making
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announcements now are most people
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they're having a having a cocktail not
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sure that they're having coffee drinks
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at the party
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no they were having cocktails but I you
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know I even when I was a drinker if
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someone walked through the party and
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said i just made a pot of coffee does
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anybody want one
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nobody so well nobody said I wanted that
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but it said hello yes this is the best
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party I've ever been to
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yeah copy Mustangs and handjobs like who
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says no there's a yes of course I'll
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have coffee Tyler I like this one lady
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was pregnant I haven't we had a class
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and and there's a couple things I took
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away that were actually really useful in
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a life way and one of the things that
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this woman said it was really smart
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liking your wife's gonna be like dealing
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with a lot of stuff washes you know
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pregnancy stuff like it never asked if
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you should wash the dishes like it would
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have you can you imagine a scenario in
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which the personally with says no please
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save them for me right
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never asked to wash dishes and never ask
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someone if they want a glass of water
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because everybody always wants a glass
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of water
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worst-case scenario you have a glass
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with water in it that you've got to
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throw out you still gotta clean glass
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that's all I'm saying you're you're this
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is a this is a thing
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isn't check out a card this is a thing
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it really is because the this is an
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ongoing thing that first of all that's
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true of your left trigger woman when
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she's pregnant but it's also true of any
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woman anytime cowboy hat but the but the
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but my pet peeve is when someone comes
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when you're making dinner and someone
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says would you like something to drink
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I got off making better right
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and-and-and-and my lady friend will say
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would you like something to drink with
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dinner of course the answer is always
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the same
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yes I would you know kind of a kind of
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beverage to have in a container while
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you're consuming the meal not not not as
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in like that like Mickey's big mouth but
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like as it like do you want a liquid to
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have with your meal would you like some
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liquid only in China only in China do
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they not do that and that that's a
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humorous issue
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yeah oh well well I'm not and I would
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and I would i would suggest that the
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Chinese are you know they're doing
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they're doing a different thing
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let's circle back to that um they're
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doing a different thing because they are
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that they're they consider broth a
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cocktail food
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ok so you're late your lady asked you if
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you want something to drink
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would you like something to drink and
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then and then the follow-up question as
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always i'm going to have some lemonade
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would you like would you like some
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lemonade and that it's a it's a it's an
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ongoing thing now where I have to say
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each time i will i will have what you
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are having every time i will have what
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you are having
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don't ever ask me if I want something
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separate
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have you ever have you ever asked for
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something different does she have a
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reason to fear you may be a part of
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every month at well you know she has a
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reason to fear milk sorry let's but I
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mean is our education centers of think
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well I mean it's nice and cool down good
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ventilation but did you guys ever been a
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time when you said for fuck's sake of
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course I don't want your fucking pisses
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lemonade
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what's that what's interesting about
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what's happening to me right now
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you can hear me you can hear my brain
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actually working as I'm trying to
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describe this because because because i
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had a conversation just a few days ago
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where she said when you're doing your
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podcast do you ever think that what
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you're saying is that i'm going to hear
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it that it's about me that I'm going to
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hear what you say and you never never
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think that never thought I had happened
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I said at the time of course not why
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would I make why would I make it harder
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on myself why would I make a podcast
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harder on myself because I was thinking
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about how you are going to receive
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something I said through through the
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internet you know and now you can hear
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me sitting here having said that now I'm
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thinking about see you open that door I
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did for sure somehow the door got opened
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and now i'm sitting here thinking about
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how to phrase this in a way that she's
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not going to she doesn't listen this
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sideshow she's gonna listen to the
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National well after will know she does
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it every time and then she comes migos
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that's interesting what you said about
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them who but the mechanic after you
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reframe on that John Ryder Cup just 2
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i'd like to start over fresh start early
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/ yeah well and just say I got a little
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own cake follow up here but we'll get
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back to that and I think it's important
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for everyone including you to understand
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that you are here to help people and I
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think the ways that you help people can
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be can be can be what Legion myriad
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multitudinous I think there are many
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ways i think the american legion just
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your being there above beneath the sink
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wherever you are offering her something
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perhaps in a metal bowl and what's clean
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with a damp cloth you're offering her
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help on levels that both of you may not
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even know she in particular needs
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I think the kind of help that you give
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her with pillow talk with wiping off the
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seat with it with with whatever
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quarterly brushing your teeth or
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whatever it is you do you're obviously
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helping her in the certain ways in the
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same sense that you would not take the
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pillow talk and put it into an RSS feed
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the technical term I think what you're
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offering here is is you're giving her a
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kind of reframing you're giving her a
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grace note a sort of oj you're giving
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her a UH an ex libris something that she
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will be able to take away that would not
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have come up while she was looking for
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you'll understand i mean i mean i just
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got here's the thing i don't want you to
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self-edit because I've worried that if
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you solve that if you start indeed
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thinking inaudible way it could
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potentially cut very deeply into the
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penetration of what you have to metaphor
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with its it's so it's so terrible as you
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thought about that I don't hear your
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brain move but if you really thought I
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mean if you thought about the the sake
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of the people you're trying to reach
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I can't as soon as I start to think I've
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become I become a garbled and and I scan
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here right now I'm reading a book about
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this you know reading a book about this
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right here we start yeah the this
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happens to me when I was in my writing
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to as soon as i sit down well and try
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and write about particularly about
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politics as soon as I start to write
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about politics all the humor goes out of
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counting now just like a big pitching a
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big hard right in the punch bowl
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it's terrible i I just right i just
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write this like really pedantic and and
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and pedagogical blah-de-blah lots of
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greek words that are magic yeah it's the
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road down i like but I can throw down 25
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pages of this stuff and then i read it
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back and I'm just like my own eyes are
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glazing over at the first reread oh and
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it's because i'm thinking all this is
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gonna this is really gonna this is gonna
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flip the pancake you-know-who and uh uh
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but also part of the reason that I'm
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that I think I'm stuttering and they
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sound garbled is that I I mean a lot of
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I've been arguing a lot of cake but I
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haven't been sleeping the last of four
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nights I haven't i've got like three
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hours of sleep a night to come back to
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this I want to come back I want to come
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back to the eating and sleeping because
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i have to tell you John have an
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extremely strong position on both eating
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and sleeping know you do i would never
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get your twin totems okay but the thing
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is it's you know it's it's it's like
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masturbation or saving money you can do
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too much you can do okay so there's a
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balance to be struck here are you
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sleeping the right amount of eating the
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right amount don't answer that
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um I agree with you on the politics
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00:10:19
◼
►
first college wanna mention this in
[TS]
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◼
►
passing i'm reading a book right now
[TS]
00:10:21
◼
►
called Thinking Fast and Slow
[TS]
00:10:23
◼
►
that is iÃve read maybe five pages of
[TS]
00:10:26
◼
►
it but ok sounds like a TED talk but you
[TS]
00:10:29
◼
►
know what it's like that but good and so
[TS]
00:10:31
◼
►
it's this it's this guy who's been
[TS]
00:10:33
◼
►
around i don't know for the last 40
[TS]
00:10:34
◼
►
years he's been doing a lot of like me
[TS]
00:10:36
◼
►
you've heard the term availability
[TS]
00:10:38
◼
►
heuristic where an availability
[TS]
00:10:40
◼
►
heuristic if you heard that term I cab
[TS]
00:10:44
◼
►
from array it rains every time you wash
[TS]
00:10:46
◼
►
your car out sir
[TS]
00:10:48
◼
►
people tend to get divorced and I'm
[TS]
00:10:50
◼
►
being slightly wrong you can never just
[TS]
00:10:52
◼
►
find something we used i don't know i'm
[TS]
00:10:54
◼
►
not sure what kind of let you go to
[TS]
00:10:55
◼
►
google that but you can probably find
[TS]
00:10:56
◼
►
out the precise meaning but he's the guy
[TS]
00:10:58
◼
►
who with his a scholarship partner came
[TS]
00:11:01
◼
►
up with the term has come up with a lot
[TS]
00:11:02
◼
►
of these ideas about how intuition i
[TS]
00:11:06
◼
►
basically by his two levels of thinking
[TS]
00:11:08
◼
►
that we do i won't go into this because
[TS]
00:11:09
◼
►
as you know i'm i'm not a cognitive
[TS]
00:11:11
◼
►
psychologist but it's super interesting
[TS]
00:11:13
◼
►
idea and I think what's happening John
[TS]
00:11:14
◼
►
right there
[TS]
00:11:15
◼
►
I think it's what you in the music
[TS]
00:11:16
◼
►
business call feedback i think what's
[TS]
00:11:18
◼
►
happening is you're hearing yourself
[TS]
00:11:19
◼
►
thinking and you're thinking about
[TS]
00:11:20
◼
►
thinking and you're not really being
[TS]
00:11:22
◼
►
John you're being met John and not like
[TS]
00:11:24
◼
►
that John
[TS]
00:11:25
◼
►
well he's not as interesting as John
[TS]
00:11:26
◼
►
prime really not i don't like melodrama
[TS]
00:11:29
◼
►
he comes around and he's thinking about
[TS]
00:11:31
◼
►
towards when used when you think slow is
[TS]
00:11:34
◼
►
when you get fucked up i don't know if
[TS]
00:11:36
◼
►
that's a problem or a sync problem i
[TS]
00:11:38
◼
►
just know that when you think you're in
[TS]
00:11:39
◼
►
big fucking trouble you're a smart guy
[TS]
00:11:41
◼
►
and you shouldn't have to think I'm in
[TS]
00:11:42
◼
►
trouble when I think it's absolutely
[TS]
00:11:43
◼
►
true and and plenty of fish there's
[TS]
00:11:46
◼
►
plenty of fish without by an extranet
[TS]
00:11:47
◼
►
John thinking has never solved any
[TS]
00:11:50
◼
►
problems for me it's never going out of
[TS]
00:11:51
◼
►
trouble thinking is always the it's
[TS]
00:11:54
◼
►
always the thing in between sleeping and
[TS]
00:11:56
◼
►
doing tar-baby start building the worst
[TS]
00:11:59
◼
►
problem here now wait a minute we've
[TS]
00:12:00
◼
►
been accused of racism a lot in this
[TS]
00:12:02
◼
►
podcast probably just by blacks my
[TS]
00:12:05
◼
►
concern is the politics thing onyx i
[TS]
00:12:08
◼
►
will tell you I think I've told you this
[TS]
00:12:10
◼
►
before but I went to like a alternate
[TS]
00:12:13
◼
►
politics i would end up going to what is
[TS]
00:12:17
◼
►
regarded at least in public colleges as
[TS]
00:12:19
◼
►
a pretty good school like a way better
[TS]
00:12:21
◼
►
school than I could have ever gotten
[TS]
00:12:23
◼
►
into it was like the Florida technical
[TS]
00:12:25
◼
►
academy for the Florida version of a
[TS]
00:12:27
◼
►
good school which you know I sure like
[TS]
00:12:29
◼
►
Florida version of a jumbo shrimp rice
[TS]
00:12:32
◼
►
military operation of fashion a good
[TS]
00:12:34
◼
►
fashion the Florida there
[TS]
00:12:35
◼
►
that's the anything that has fashioned
[TS]
00:12:37
◼
►
in the name is necessarily not
[TS]
00:12:39
◼
►
fashionable i was in line waiting for
[TS]
00:12:41
◼
►
prescription at walgreens like I am so
[TS]
00:12:42
◼
►
many days and I and I was standing there
[TS]
00:12:44
◼
►
waiting and I i looked and i hanging on
[TS]
00:12:48
◼
►
one of those little things by the
[TS]
00:12:49
◼
►
checkout but was fashioned contact lens
[TS]
00:12:53
◼
►
oh sure when you get developers flashing
[TS]
00:12:54
◼
►
LED flashlight for your keychain right I
[TS]
00:12:57
◼
►
think that's one that was one of those
[TS]
00:12:59
◼
►
words it just means that it's the
[TS]
00:13:00
◼
►
opposite of what's there
[TS]
00:13:01
◼
►
well except fashionista does who are
[TS]
00:13:04
◼
►
genuinely fashion back I'll and also
[TS]
00:13:07
◼
►
revolutionary do you see Stan much they
[TS]
00:13:10
◼
►
mean to you up to you so let's fix that
[TS]
00:13:11
◼
►
a lot you don't do that a lot to you i
[TS]
00:13:13
◼
►
don't i don't use because i can tell you
[TS]
00:13:15
◼
►
who probably does that a lot
[TS]
00:13:16
◼
►
I don't even need to tell you this you
[TS]
00:13:17
◼
►
know probably adds east into a lot of
[TS]
00:13:19
◼
►
words who Gloria Estefan close as flinch
[TS]
00:13:24
◼
►
moving on when I don't get him saying
[TS]
00:13:27
◼
►
that I latest movie East no no you know
[TS]
00:13:31
◼
►
how to respect for the sandanista
[TS]
00:13:33
◼
►
movement I don't squander the east the
[TS]
00:13:36
◼
►
suffix you just literally gave me the
[TS]
00:13:38
◼
►
greatest segue in the history of the
[TS]
00:13:39
◼
►
world literally because because when i
[TS]
00:13:41
◼
►
was trying to get into this school I
[TS]
00:13:43
◼
►
applied to really three schools i
[TS]
00:13:45
◼
►
applied to the public university that
[TS]
00:13:48
◼
►
was in tampa which is kind of like a
[TS]
00:13:50
◼
►
kind of high school with ashtrays and
[TS]
00:13:52
◼
►
then i apply to this really university
[TS]
00:13:54
◼
►
or tpd university of south florida no
[TS]
00:13:57
◼
►
offense its don't worry don't worry
[TS]
00:13:58
◼
►
these guys they don't have computers
[TS]
00:13:59
◼
►
sure and i went to a place called
[TS]
00:14:01
◼
►
Rollins in orlando well which is like a
[TS]
00:14:04
◼
►
fancy lad school where the Galaxy at the
[TS]
00:14:06
◼
►
intercept and then applied to the school
[TS]
00:14:08
◼
►
that I got into could never afford to go
[TS]
00:14:11
◼
►
to the one in orlando even though they
[TS]
00:14:13
◼
►
gave me a big grant the essay that I
[TS]
00:14:15
◼
►
wrote for them that i cannot even
[TS]
00:14:17
◼
►
believe I ended up getting me accepted
[TS]
00:14:20
◼
►
are you ready for this and it was on why
[TS]
00:14:22
◼
►
the US should not be in Nicaragua all I
[TS]
00:14:25
◼
►
was I was this morning huge oh my god it
[TS]
00:14:28
◼
►
was up and I know what I almost use that
[TS]
00:14:31
◼
►
so so interested was I in my own
[TS]
00:14:35
◼
►
opinions about these things that I
[TS]
00:14:36
◼
►
almost use that as my essay to get into
[TS]
00:14:39
◼
►
the good school and for some reason on
[TS]
00:14:42
◼
►
the fast thinking level I could never in
[TS]
00:14:44
◼
►
a million years tell you i did this i
[TS]
00:14:45
◼
►
sat down at my manual typewriter because
[TS]
00:14:47
◼
►
I thought it was Tom Waits
[TS]
00:14:48
◼
►
and I wrote a three-page essay called
[TS]
00:14:51
◼
►
plum knuckles and that was a slightly
[TS]
00:14:54
◼
►
humorous essay about how my family
[TS]
00:14:56
◼
►
wanted me to quit cracking my knuckles
[TS]
00:14:57
◼
►
and i wrote a way to call it was that
[TS]
00:15:00
◼
►
where Jeong Rob John Hodgman fabulous i
[TS]
00:15:03
◼
►
made a kind of fantastic version of what
[TS]
00:15:04
◼
►
would happen to me if I kept cracking my
[TS]
00:15:06
◼
►
knuckles it was marginally funny
[TS]
00:15:09
◼
►
it wouldn't be finding by today's
[TS]
00:15:10
◼
►
standards introduction of a good school
[TS]
00:15:12
◼
►
and for the love of Christ and you know
[TS]
00:15:14
◼
►
what they said they said well first of
[TS]
00:15:15
◼
►
all like you're five percenter like
[TS]
00:15:17
◼
►
you're one of those like helmet kids
[TS]
00:15:19
◼
►
were pretty sure it's going to have to
[TS]
00:15:20
◼
►
leave but we're going to give you a shot
[TS]
00:15:22
◼
►
and you know y SI ya failed due to
[TS]
00:15:26
◼
►
failed two classes when I was a senior i
[TS]
00:15:27
◼
►
felt ocean science and music theory i
[TS]
00:15:29
◼
►
told you this and that was that s all
[TS]
00:15:31
◼
►
I'm trying to say to John Rother I'm
[TS]
00:15:32
◼
►
sorry talking so much
[TS]
00:15:34
◼
►
no it's all right i just had a breed of
[TS]
00:15:35
◼
►
some sorry I'm trying to say is that the
[TS]
00:15:38
◼
►
essay let's go back to the sunset
[TS]
00:15:40
◼
►
magazine school you know I mean the
[TS]
00:15:41
◼
►
essay matters in your case the essay is
[TS]
00:15:43
◼
►
maybe what saved you from even getting
[TS]
00:15:46
◼
►
into some kind of reform school
[TS]
00:15:47
◼
►
you knew to write a bad essay and that
[TS]
00:15:49
◼
►
helped you write i'm just wondering why
[TS]
00:15:51
◼
►
you why it didn't occur to you to apply
[TS]
00:15:52
◼
►
to a school out of outside of florida
[TS]
00:15:54
◼
►
doe-doe rain Joe school I went to I mom
[TS]
00:15:59
◼
►
from modest backgrounds school I went to
[TS]
00:16:00
◼
►
out the door
[TS]
00:16:01
◼
►
including food and the bunk the whole
[TS]
00:16:04
◼
►
nine exclusive books hundred bucks your
[TS]
00:16:06
◼
►
600 lift baskets and Confederate scrip
[TS]
00:16:09
◼
►
so wrong with that is about five out of
[TS]
00:16:12
◼
►
five or six grand you had oceanography
[TS]
00:16:14
◼
►
classes in high school and ocean science
[TS]
00:16:16
◼
►
ocean science done by a very very small
[TS]
00:16:19
◼
►
man a very small man that I had a lot of
[TS]
00:16:20
◼
►
problems with all right I refused is
[TS]
00:16:23
◼
►
excited i've been pressed that was a
[TS]
00:16:24
◼
►
high school level courses at your school
[TS]
00:16:26
◼
►
although i guess i guess that's one of
[TS]
00:16:29
◼
►
the advantages of being from florida i
[TS]
00:16:31
◼
►
think we startled studied salinity for
[TS]
00:16:32
◼
►
14 weeks
[TS]
00:16:33
◼
►
oh because people kept getting kept
[TS]
00:16:36
◼
►
answering false to salt i found that i
[TS]
00:16:40
◼
►
found out yesterday that cocaine is
[TS]
00:16:42
◼
►
assault
[TS]
00:16:43
◼
►
are you kidding me it's got a CL in it
[TS]
00:16:45
◼
►
yeah well there's a version of there's a
[TS]
00:16:48
◼
►
version of it which is assault and then
[TS]
00:16:50
◼
►
there's another version which is why
[TS]
00:16:52
◼
►
don't they add a lot of cl HCL's like
[TS]
00:16:54
◼
►
the ephedrine of previous note like
[TS]
00:16:56
◼
►
that's in HCL was HDL do is that kind of
[TS]
00:16:59
◼
►
like putting in one of those little
[TS]
00:17:00
◼
►
packets to keep it dry
[TS]
00:17:02
◼
►
where's HCL destabilize that you study
[TS]
00:17:04
◼
►
chemistry uh you know it's a the magic
[TS]
00:17:07
◼
►
chloride makes its think thing in it
[TS]
00:17:12
◼
►
makes your she just said it makes your
[TS]
00:17:15
◼
►
nose all fucked up and I have no idea no
[TS]
00:17:17
◼
►
you know what the cocaine is a it's a
[TS]
00:17:19
◼
►
it's a blood vessel inhibitor I don't
[TS]
00:17:22
◼
►
know what to do I don't know why there's
[TS]
00:17:23
◼
►
some that are salts and some that are I
[TS]
00:17:25
◼
►
just know that when you're free basing
[TS]
00:17:26
◼
►
it the basic version of it is not
[TS]
00:17:29
◼
►
assault as opposed to the acidic version
[TS]
00:17:33
◼
►
you i'm just guessing John in the day we
[TS]
00:17:38
◼
►
don't have time to go into this in
[TS]
00:17:39
◼
►
detail we got a lot of things to cover
[TS]
00:17:41
◼
►
yeah but i'm guessing when you went to
[TS]
00:17:42
◼
►
parties in the day when you really went
[TS]
00:17:45
◼
►
the fuck two parties you are you're not
[TS]
00:17:47
◼
►
asking about the acidity or baseness of
[TS]
00:17:48
◼
►
a given thing on a plate that was in
[TS]
00:17:50
◼
►
lines maybe I'd Frampton record you guys
[TS]
00:17:52
◼
►
have mirrors what did you use when
[TS]
00:17:54
◼
►
you're I was grunge era cocaine know
[TS]
00:17:56
◼
►
that that you know i came late to
[TS]
00:17:58
◼
►
cocaine I uh the the think the glory
[TS]
00:18:02
◼
►
days of cocaine the less than zero days
[TS]
00:18:04
◼
►
who were already passed and by the by
[TS]
00:18:07
◼
►
the crunch time at least in my world I
[TS]
00:18:10
◼
►
mean I know there's definitely lots of
[TS]
00:18:13
◼
►
people who were still living the dream
[TS]
00:18:16
◼
►
I think that's the cocaine works you
[TS]
00:18:17
◼
►
tend to use it for a while well yeah but
[TS]
00:18:20
◼
►
but but the way you use it changes and
[TS]
00:18:23
◼
►
now by the time I got into 10 to the
[TS]
00:18:27
◼
►
more serious drugs it was the crack era
[TS]
00:18:30
◼
►
at least at the up at the low level of
[TS]
00:18:34
◼
►
life that I was living room so most of
[TS]
00:18:37
◼
►
my cocaine and methamphetamine intake
[TS]
00:18:41
◼
►
was was freebasing Oh John Roderick
[TS]
00:18:48
◼
►
really well i mean i wasn't fancy i was
[TS]
00:18:51
◼
►
living a fantasy life where I was doing
[TS]
00:18:53
◼
►
rails of pure cocaine off of your very
[TS]
00:18:56
◼
►
attractive you're very practical man you
[TS]
00:18:57
◼
►
song hatchet song hatchet don't have a
[TS]
00:19:00
◼
►
story by hit your head you know we
[TS]
00:19:01
◼
►
shouldn't get into this now
[TS]
00:19:03
◼
►
now that was a bit Crocker cake or was
[TS]
00:19:05
◼
►
from scratch cake
[TS]
00:19:06
◼
►
no artist artists channel is duncan
[TS]
00:19:08
◼
►
hines this just because it was bumped it
[TS]
00:19:11
◼
►
was bumping around the closet now I'm
[TS]
00:19:12
◼
►
saying bumping around
[TS]
00:19:14
◼
►
now everything sounds like a cocaine
[TS]
00:19:15
◼
►
reference i thought i thought it sounded
[TS]
00:19:17
◼
►
like guys like a dance song pop oh no
[TS]
00:19:23
◼
►
that the that my problem is an end and
[TS]
00:19:25
◼
►
this is what my my brain is my brain is
[TS]
00:19:28
◼
►
shrinking because uh because I've been
[TS]
00:19:32
◼
►
AI haven't been sleeping
[TS]
00:19:35
◼
►
uh-huh yeah and you teach your trouble
[TS]
00:19:38
◼
►
falling asleep or staying asleep but I
[TS]
00:19:40
◼
►
don't have trouble staying asleep i have
[TS]
00:19:42
◼
►
trouble falling asleep
[TS]
00:19:43
◼
►
I've never been able to go to sleep but
[TS]
00:19:46
◼
►
it's very you've always been a Late Late
[TS]
00:19:48
◼
►
go to sleep / I'm a very late go to
[TS]
00:19:51
◼
►
sleep or but but but lately I that
[TS]
00:19:53
◼
►
lateness has just been prolonged to the
[TS]
00:19:56
◼
►
point of then its day we do the wrap
[TS]
00:19:58
◼
►
around again and yeah and it's in the
[TS]
00:20:01
◼
►
phone starts ringing in people are
[TS]
00:20:02
◼
►
pounding on the door and i can't i have
[TS]
00:20:06
◼
►
to get up after have to join the world
[TS]
00:20:08
◼
►
and nobody comes to my door and I'm so
[TS]
00:20:12
◼
►
well your door is up a flight of stairs
[TS]
00:20:13
◼
►
it's hard to see from the street but
[TS]
00:20:15
◼
►
people come to my door because they're
[TS]
00:20:17
◼
►
all its other always on suicide watch
[TS]
00:20:20
◼
►
you know there's always somebody coming
[TS]
00:20:21
◼
►
by going LOL free limit for you offer
[TS]
00:20:25
◼
►
you still there haven't heard from you
[TS]
00:20:27
◼
►
in a while
[TS]
00:20:28
◼
►
okay goodnight over that they have a
[TS]
00:20:30
◼
►
name for that with the cops there's a
[TS]
00:20:32
◼
►
name for that what they call that a
[TS]
00:20:33
◼
►
service patrol let somebody with the
[TS]
00:20:35
◼
►
yellow that you get the yellow flight
[TS]
00:20:36
◼
►
you don't get the red flashing light
[TS]
00:20:37
◼
►
anymore its kind of a threat it's a guy
[TS]
00:20:40
◼
►
in a minivan
[TS]
00:20:41
◼
►
uh-huh it's just that's fine goes mag
[TS]
00:20:44
◼
►
mag and he given the high i'm gonna let
[TS]
00:20:47
◼
►
me see both hands John both hands
[TS]
00:20:49
◼
►
through the through the curtains still
[TS]
00:20:51
◼
►
hear the community service withdrawal
[TS]
00:20:53
◼
►
actually did come check up on you want
[TS]
00:20:56
◼
►
to talk years and years ago 1992 or
[TS]
00:20:59
◼
►
something like that they I the people in
[TS]
00:21:02
◼
►
my life had not heard from me and weeks
[TS]
00:21:03
◼
►
and they sent the community service
[TS]
00:21:05
◼
►
patrol recall for that like 511 kind of
[TS]
00:21:08
◼
►
thing 311 it's a I you know having never
[TS]
00:21:11
◼
►
called them on somebody else i have no
[TS]
00:21:13
◼
►
way of knowing how you can get guess
[TS]
00:21:15
◼
►
County Extension simply you saying
[TS]
00:21:17
◼
►
people you call to get skin care how
[TS]
00:21:18
◼
►
about at the front at the front of the
[TS]
00:21:20
◼
►
yellow pages in those those blue pages
[TS]
00:21:23
◼
►
at the front or whatever i guess that
[TS]
00:21:25
◼
►
the numbers in there
[TS]
00:21:26
◼
►
I called before digging yeah
[TS]
00:21:28
◼
►
skin-removal all before digging come
[TS]
00:21:31
◼
►
before doing in a floral you call candy
[TS]
00:21:33
◼
►
it's a cock gonna call candy i don't
[TS]
00:21:35
◼
►
know i was candy what candy left at the
[TS]
00:21:37
◼
►
change a lot of fucking vans
[TS]
00:21:39
◼
►
well ya candy was probably an
[TS]
00:21:41
◼
►
anachronism and an acronym it's brian an
[TS]
00:21:48
◼
►
Americanism uh-huh
[TS]
00:21:50
◼
►
Wow a skink you know I welfare check
[TS]
00:21:53
◼
►
that's what they call it i think it's
[TS]
00:21:54
◼
►
called a welfare check
[TS]
00:21:55
◼
►
that's when they bring the power over
[TS]
00:21:56
◼
►
there check they bring the Prowler over
[TS]
00:21:58
◼
►
there if they leave it right it they can
[TS]
00:22:00
◼
►
buy hasn't anybody in there okay right
[TS]
00:22:03
◼
►
one guys it's like guys hanging back
[TS]
00:22:04
◼
►
he's got his hand you know it's here
[TS]
00:22:06
◼
►
ya know know that it's usually it's
[TS]
00:22:09
◼
►
usually that they're there unarmed you
[TS]
00:22:11
◼
►
know they come within the guy the guy
[TS]
00:22:13
◼
►
doesn't have a hand on his hip he's got
[TS]
00:22:15
◼
►
his keys carrying a giant net in most
[TS]
00:22:17
◼
►
cases you know I kick you like a huge
[TS]
00:22:21
◼
►
net that you would use to to catch
[TS]
00:22:23
◼
►
skinks or whatever if they're ever seen
[TS]
00:22:26
◼
►
a skink know because I'm from the north
[TS]
00:22:28
◼
►
we don't have skinks in the north of
[TS]
00:22:30
◼
►
shrews choose i think phil the same
[TS]
00:22:34
◼
►
level up on the food chain I'm not
[TS]
00:22:36
◼
►
second that with a ten-foot pole
[TS]
00:22:38
◼
►
no not you wouldn't touch a skank with a
[TS]
00:22:42
◼
►
ten-foot pole it has a blue tongue the
[TS]
00:22:43
◼
►
skin right around the time i was getting
[TS]
00:22:45
◼
►
divorced my wife moved out I went out to
[TS]
00:22:47
◼
►
the mailbox and this is just probably
[TS]
00:22:49
◼
►
about a week before I moved to
[TS]
00:22:51
◼
►
California I don't make MIT not accurate
[TS]
00:22:53
◼
►
but it was in my in my head I know
[TS]
00:22:54
◼
►
Justin elliott smith so it must have
[TS]
00:22:56
◼
►
been 1999 and I am and I there was a
[TS]
00:23:01
◼
►
like a skink III in my memory it was
[TS]
00:23:03
◼
►
severed like you lost his tail but you
[TS]
00:23:05
◼
►
know it's kinda like just if you imagine
[TS]
00:23:07
◼
►
like us a pointy snake with little arms
[TS]
00:23:09
◼
►
and coming you know it so yeah so smooth
[TS]
00:23:12
◼
►
it's really it's really if i'm pretty
[TS]
00:23:15
◼
►
sure it's a skank and we have to but it
[TS]
00:23:17
◼
►
was real it was real weird looking and
[TS]
00:23:19
◼
►
it felt very like Marquez it felt like
[TS]
00:23:21
◼
►
the skin was telling me something oh
[TS]
00:23:23
◼
►
that's a skink i'm pretty sure it's a
[TS]
00:23:24
◼
►
skink it was telling you something
[TS]
00:23:26
◼
►
doesn't you know if you went out to your
[TS]
00:23:28
◼
►
mailbox right after you and your lady
[TS]
00:23:29
◼
►
broke up and you saw a fucking broken
[TS]
00:23:31
◼
►
skink by the mailbox literally by the
[TS]
00:23:33
◼
►
mailbox you wouldn't you take it as a
[TS]
00:23:35
◼
►
sign Harbinger or an omen or
[TS]
00:23:37
◼
►
who I i'm not sure that i am not sure i
[TS]
00:23:42
◼
►
would wear that dress connection when I
[TS]
00:23:44
◼
►
do I do
[TS]
00:23:45
◼
►
there are crows there are crows that
[TS]
00:23:47
◼
►
come around that I definitely take as
[TS]
00:23:50
◼
►
harbingers of closer pretty big right
[TS]
00:23:53
◼
►
like bigger than you think
[TS]
00:23:54
◼
►
crows are bigger than you think Ravens
[TS]
00:23:56
◼
►
are much more recent giant fucking Birds
[TS]
00:23:59
◼
►
in our Park that are freaking me out and
[TS]
00:24:01
◼
►
I thought for a while I thought they
[TS]
00:24:03
◼
►
were crows but not been wondering if the
[TS]
00:24:05
◼
►
Ravens because they're kind of the color
[TS]
00:24:07
◼
►
of Superman's hair that kind of
[TS]
00:24:08
◼
►
blue-black color
[TS]
00:24:09
◼
►
mmm they're scary shit and those beady
[TS]
00:24:12
◼
►
little older I get jon the more I'm
[TS]
00:24:13
◼
►
freaked out by Birds little eyes
[TS]
00:24:15
◼
►
yeah the little eyes on birds well a
[TS]
00:24:18
◼
►
raven will have a very different profile
[TS]
00:24:20
◼
►
than a crow a radio has a Roman nose and
[TS]
00:24:24
◼
►
they're big and black and also they can
[TS]
00:24:27
◼
►
open doors anything like introduce you
[TS]
00:24:30
◼
►
to producers that and also I mean you'll
[TS]
00:24:35
◼
►
find one in your bathroom and John
[TS]
00:24:37
◼
►
landsberg landsberg crowd as he opens a
[TS]
00:24:39
◼
►
lot of doors your raven he's very light
[TS]
00:24:41
◼
►
ok is pretty polite yeah I wouldn't say
[TS]
00:24:45
◼
►
very polite i feel like i should be
[TS]
00:24:48
◼
►
differentially was very nice to me
[TS]
00:24:50
◼
►
no he's he's extremely polite but
[TS]
00:24:53
◼
►
there's happening it's man seriously a
[TS]
00:24:55
◼
►
pickle here United it implies that the
[TS]
00:24:57
◼
►
letter is a light yes it's like one of
[TS]
00:24:59
◼
►
his main trades and i would say
[TS]
00:25:02
◼
►
politeness is a substrate right okay um
[TS]
00:25:06
◼
►
and so basically you're saying the music
[TS]
00:25:08
◼
►
business there's Ravens crows and then
[TS]
00:25:10
◼
►
there's probably goals and pelicans
[TS]
00:25:11
◼
►
there you're an animal farm John can I
[TS]
00:25:14
◼
►
just say if you quit overthinking this
[TS]
00:25:15
◼
►
bullshit you could sit down and
[TS]
00:25:16
◼
►
literally write the next animal farm
[TS]
00:25:18
◼
►
except that it might be about the music
[TS]
00:25:19
◼
►
industry
[TS]
00:25:20
◼
►
these are the birds i think most people
[TS]
00:25:22
◼
►
in the music industry are Blue Jays
[TS]
00:25:24
◼
►
fourth inches inches or cute or you know
[TS]
00:25:29
◼
►
the the the most prominent bird
[TS]
00:25:31
◼
►
represented in the music industry is the
[TS]
00:25:33
◼
►
is the my god see what I'm see what I'm
[TS]
00:25:38
◼
►
up against today
[TS]
00:25:39
◼
►
yeah I think you gotta start thinking a
[TS]
00:25:41
◼
►
lot faster and not having any luck
[TS]
00:25:43
◼
►
thinking because of this the lack of
[TS]
00:25:46
◼
►
sleep and it isn't a question of
[TS]
00:25:48
◼
►
tiredness it's a question of brain
[TS]
00:25:49
◼
►
shrinkage
[TS]
00:25:50
◼
►
yeah see there's the problem can't few
[TS]
00:25:52
◼
►
nights ago this is this happens to me
[TS]
00:25:54
◼
►
periodically and it's gonna sound crazy
[TS]
00:25:56
◼
►
but but I I I get into my head about
[TS]
00:26:01
◼
►
UFOs now hold on bear with me
[TS]
00:26:05
◼
►
it's not that sounds crazy but it's not
[TS]
00:26:09
◼
►
i get into my LOL i hope it's not i get
[TS]
00:26:11
◼
►
into my head about UFOs most of the time
[TS]
00:26:15
◼
►
i go through life i'm i'm a i-i-i don't
[TS]
00:26:17
◼
►
think about UFOs and it's the it's the
[TS]
00:26:20
◼
►
same problem as I have with ghosts
[TS]
00:26:23
◼
►
I don't believe in ghosts yeah but if
[TS]
00:26:25
◼
►
I'm staying for a long weekend in a
[TS]
00:26:28
◼
►
house in Vermont that was built in
[TS]
00:26:30
◼
►
seventeen sixty or where the
[TS]
00:26:33
◼
►
Confederates the game and catch you when
[TS]
00:26:34
◼
►
you're here
[TS]
00:26:36
◼
►
exactly so let ourselves veteran
[TS]
00:26:38
◼
►
soldiers that came marching across the
[TS]
00:26:39
◼
►
park in san francisco where of course
[TS]
00:26:41
◼
►
there were no Confederate soldiers at
[TS]
00:26:43
◼
►
any time there are times when ghosts
[TS]
00:26:46
◼
►
present themselves and then i have to
[TS]
00:26:49
◼
►
have to confront her i have to
[TS]
00:26:51
◼
►
acknowledge that the ghosts are there
[TS]
00:26:53
◼
►
whether i believe in them or not this is
[TS]
00:26:55
◼
►
the problem
[TS]
00:26:56
◼
►
I don't believe in them but they're
[TS]
00:26:57
◼
►
sometimes when they're there you just
[TS]
00:26:59
◼
►
have to get you just have to acknowledge
[TS]
00:27:01
◼
►
that there there yes irrespective of
[TS]
00:27:03
◼
►
whether you believe in them or not and
[TS]
00:27:05
◼
►
this is the same problem i have with
[TS]
00:27:06
◼
►
UFOs i don't i'm not looking you what
[TS]
00:27:09
◼
►
you can't prove a negative right you get
[TS]
00:27:12
◼
►
well you can't prove a negative but but
[TS]
00:27:15
◼
►
more importantly if I'm not thinking
[TS]
00:27:19
◼
►
about UFOs then new phones are not a
[TS]
00:27:20
◼
►
problem but as soon as I start to think
[TS]
00:27:22
◼
►
about UFOs assume something plants that
[TS]
00:27:24
◼
►
seed in my head then all of a sudden I'm
[TS]
00:27:28
◼
►
seeing things things out of the corner
[TS]
00:27:30
◼
►
of my eye that could be aliens who have
[TS]
00:27:35
◼
►
come to probe me huh
[TS]
00:27:39
◼
►
and much like it like an interview on
[TS]
00:27:43
◼
►
your time you talked about the basement
[TS]
00:27:44
◼
►
talking about the basement yeah not
[TS]
00:27:46
◼
►
probably physically but probe me to see
[TS]
00:27:48
◼
►
if I am perhaps a good candidate to be
[TS]
00:27:52
◼
►
the human
[TS]
00:27:54
◼
►
interlocutor or between the alien a
[TS]
00:27:58
◼
►
super race and the Earthlings that John
[TS]
00:28:02
◼
►
Roderick of Mars
[TS]
00:28:03
◼
►
oh yeah or just sort of like the what
[TS]
00:28:07
◼
►
would you call the Prime Minister of the
[TS]
00:28:09
◼
►
new colony but Rocco ok you can be like
[TS]
00:28:13
◼
►
that definition Chamberlain exactly so
[TS]
00:28:16
◼
►
they're just they're just learning
[TS]
00:28:18
◼
►
we're just learning about me just have
[TS]
00:28:20
◼
►
to get it just it really were just
[TS]
00:28:22
◼
►
talking at this point John to that we're
[TS]
00:28:24
◼
►
not now we're just this is what we're
[TS]
00:28:26
◼
►
just were just aliens talk about this
[TS]
00:28:27
◼
►
because this is your process and thank
[TS]
00:28:29
◼
►
God they go through my stuff they look
[TS]
00:28:31
◼
►
at my glasses they kind of get a sense
[TS]
00:28:33
◼
►
of my aesthetic and probably checking to
[TS]
00:28:35
◼
►
see if you notice things out of the
[TS]
00:28:36
◼
►
corner of your eye because when you're
[TS]
00:28:37
◼
►
the Venusian Prime Minister lot of
[TS]
00:28:39
◼
►
talking you know she was actually this
[TS]
00:28:42
◼
►
is the thing they're not gonna come
[TS]
00:28:43
◼
►
right out and say if they're not we're
[TS]
00:28:44
◼
►
not going to sit down a girl at a table
[TS]
00:28:46
◼
►
from one another and they're going to
[TS]
00:28:48
◼
►
present me with a series of questions
[TS]
00:28:49
◼
►
like they might not have a mouse when I
[TS]
00:28:51
◼
►
have mouth in a conventional cell but
[TS]
00:28:53
◼
►
they could even do this telepathically
[TS]
00:28:54
◼
►
or psionically they could say that if if
[TS]
00:28:57
◼
►
if one of your co-workers were was
[TS]
00:29:00
◼
►
stealing paper clips and you knew about
[TS]
00:29:03
◼
►
it would you a reported ve tell them not
[TS]
00:29:07
◼
►
to and orsi do nothing they could be
[TS]
00:29:11
◼
►
doing all this to have a conventional
[TS]
00:29:13
◼
►
Roman alphabet the aliens see you know
[TS]
00:29:17
◼
►
they haven't revealed anything about
[TS]
00:29:18
◼
►
themselves really except that bae
[TS]
00:29:20
◼
►
there's a lot of layers a lot of layers
[TS]
00:29:22
◼
►
to this because someone asked if you
[TS]
00:29:24
◼
►
don't absolutely the primary slender and
[TS]
00:29:26
◼
►
one of the things they do is they
[TS]
00:29:27
◼
►
rattled my windows when it's windy you
[TS]
00:29:30
◼
►
know like you could say it's just windy
[TS]
00:29:33
◼
►
and the windows are rattling they might
[TS]
00:29:35
◼
►
think that's your resume and they're
[TS]
00:29:37
◼
►
just trying to get a copy
[TS]
00:29:38
◼
►
they don't know they're literally from
[TS]
00:29:39
◼
►
Venus and they're they're figuring
[TS]
00:29:41
◼
►
they're figuring out our world even as
[TS]
00:29:42
◼
►
they're trying to find your place in it
[TS]
00:29:44
◼
►
whether you would be the appropriate
[TS]
00:29:46
◼
►
person to lead and women figuring out
[TS]
00:29:49
◼
►
our world through me by watching me
[TS]
00:29:51
◼
►
respond to stimuli which is that
[TS]
00:29:53
◼
►
remotely with that would be leaving
[TS]
00:29:54
◼
►
Leslie over the phone or with something
[TS]
00:29:56
◼
►
where you have to have a lot of face
[TS]
00:29:57
◼
►
time with the Venetians like that if you
[TS]
00:29:58
◼
►
accepted the position if it were off
[TS]
00:30:00
◼
►
take a step back if we offered to you
[TS]
00:30:01
◼
►
you checked it out you know you can you
[TS]
00:30:03
◼
►
can get everything everything like
[TS]
00:30:05
◼
►
salary is that something you do mostly
[TS]
00:30:07
◼
►
conference causes this is one of the
[TS]
00:30:09
◼
►
things about dealing with these people
[TS]
00:30:12
◼
►
these beings that you don't even know
[TS]
00:30:14
◼
►
what you're looking at they could be
[TS]
00:30:16
◼
►
ectoplasm who are just taking the form
[TS]
00:30:18
◼
►
of a little green man in order to make
[TS]
00:30:21
◼
►
you feel more secure like that scene in
[TS]
00:30:23
◼
►
contact with jodie foster is talking to
[TS]
00:30:26
◼
►
her dad that the moment she's on the
[TS]
00:30:27
◼
►
jukebox not talking about machine
[TS]
00:30:29
◼
►
well okay it was that have Matthew
[TS]
00:30:32
◼
►
McConaughey was in it which is the only
[TS]
00:30:33
◼
►
reason I know this is the Carlson is the
[TS]
00:30:35
◼
►
cross st. Matthew McConaughey yeah this
[TS]
00:30:37
◼
►
is carl sagan but this movie was cast
[TS]
00:30:40
◼
►
was cast by monkeys and Matthew
[TS]
00:30:42
◼
►
McConaughey was in it playing that a
[TS]
00:30:45
◼
►
religious person and Matthew McConaughey
[TS]
00:30:48
◼
►
to me represents the most callow human
[TS]
00:30:52
◼
►
male in the in the cosmos and every time
[TS]
00:30:58
◼
►
I see him in a film where he's playing
[TS]
00:30:59
◼
►
anything other than a surfer douchebag
[TS]
00:31:02
◼
►
I'm like you what why how did he get
[TS]
00:31:04
◼
►
cast in this fifth in this movie but
[TS]
00:31:06
◼
►
anyway that's all that's all
[TS]
00:31:08
◼
►
neither here nor there what happened was
[TS]
00:31:09
◼
►
the few nights ago I was in the bathtub
[TS]
00:31:11
◼
►
as you do who I heard this I heard this
[TS]
00:31:14
◼
►
this this repetitive sort of slamming it
[TS]
00:31:18
◼
►
was it wasn't it wasn't enough it wasn't
[TS]
00:31:22
◼
►
rhythmic it was kind of like off time
[TS]
00:31:24
◼
►
like you know slam slam slam syncopated
[TS]
00:31:28
◼
►
some sort of syncopated I'm and I'm and
[TS]
00:31:31
◼
►
I'm it sounded like somebody was kicking
[TS]
00:31:33
◼
►
my front door then and i'm sitting in
[TS]
00:31:36
◼
►
the bathtub and I'm like this isn't a
[TS]
00:31:39
◼
►
sound that I want in the middle of the
[TS]
00:31:41
◼
►
night during a rainstorm is not the
[TS]
00:31:44
◼
►
usual way the community service people
[TS]
00:31:46
◼
►
now so maybe they usually come in the
[TS]
00:31:49
◼
►
mornings so I'm putting that's not and i
[TS]
00:31:52
◼
►
rightly if somebody's kicking your front
[TS]
00:31:55
◼
►
door they're probably gonna do it more
[TS]
00:31:57
◼
►
rhythmic that's going to be in time
[TS]
00:31:59
◼
►
right there go Bam Bam Bam but it was it
[TS]
00:32:01
◼
►
wasn't like a night of the Long Knives
[TS]
00:32:02
◼
►
kind of like we're trying to knock this
[TS]
00:32:04
◼
►
down it was more like they were like
[TS]
00:32:06
◼
►
testing testing the panels where
[TS]
00:32:08
◼
►
somewhere in between it was ok so you if
[TS]
00:32:11
◼
►
you want to kick in somebody's front
[TS]
00:32:13
◼
►
you don't need to take more than about
[TS]
00:32:14
◼
►
three swings and it i don't care how
[TS]
00:32:16
◼
►
many dead bolts it has got a warm-up but
[TS]
00:32:20
◼
►
a but but it didn't sound like somebody
[TS]
00:32:21
◼
►
was trying to kick the door in but it
[TS]
00:32:23
◼
►
did sound like that said the door was
[TS]
00:32:25
◼
►
you know going
[TS]
00:32:26
◼
►
it was really there somebody was
[TS]
00:32:28
◼
►
pounding on the door so i get out of the
[TS]
00:32:30
◼
►
bathtub the middle of the night three
[TS]
00:32:32
◼
►
o'clock in the morning and put my robe
[TS]
00:32:35
◼
►
on and i play my hands on the nearest
[TS]
00:32:38
◼
►
sort of anti human weapon device that I
[TS]
00:32:43
◼
►
have a closest to me sort probably uh
[TS]
00:32:46
◼
►
let's call it a sword and I go down the
[TS]
00:32:51
◼
►
stairs and the eye in the back of my
[TS]
00:32:57
◼
►
house I have French doors which a gust
[TS]
00:33:01
◼
►
of wind it was a big storm and disgusted
[TS]
00:33:05
◼
►
wind had dusted so strong way that it
[TS]
00:33:08
◼
►
had pushed open the French doors even
[TS]
00:33:11
◼
►
though they were dead bolted because the
[TS]
00:33:15
◼
►
French doors are because its center
[TS]
00:33:18
◼
►
because the shotty concept the French
[TS]
00:33:20
◼
►
doors it's terrible like it's a French
[TS]
00:33:22
◼
►
concept and that it's a bad idea
[TS]
00:33:25
◼
►
French they're super easy to get there
[TS]
00:33:27
◼
►
oh yeah you should have any time you
[TS]
00:33:29
◼
►
have French doors you should also have
[TS]
00:33:30
◼
►
like another set of doors like that you
[TS]
00:33:34
◼
►
should have a couple eventually
[TS]
00:33:36
◼
►
eventually convince the American doors
[TS]
00:33:37
◼
►
to help out
[TS]
00:33:38
◼
►
you should have used yeah that's right
[TS]
00:33:40
◼
►
the front door should open into a
[TS]
00:33:41
◼
►
vestibule and there should be one
[TS]
00:33:43
◼
►
American door to get out of that
[TS]
00:33:45
◼
►
containment area but anyway so the rain
[TS]
00:33:48
◼
►
is pouring in and the doors are slamming
[TS]
00:33:52
◼
►
you know in the wind and and I'm
[TS]
00:33:55
◼
►
standing there soaking wet in a bathrobe
[TS]
00:33:59
◼
►
heavily armed all alone in the house and
[TS]
00:34:02
◼
►
my first thought is well of course the
[TS]
00:34:07
◼
►
UFOs UFOs have come this is how it
[TS]
00:34:11
◼
►
always happens the person comes down out
[TS]
00:34:14
◼
►
of the bathtub they closed the doors and
[TS]
00:34:19
◼
►
and they do a security check of their
[TS]
00:34:21
◼
►
own but they're the aliens are in there
[TS]
00:34:26
◼
►
in they get there in somehow now they're
[TS]
00:34:28
◼
►
in the air they're hiding in the oven or
[TS]
00:34:31
◼
►
I don't know where they go with your
[TS]
00:34:33
◼
►
girlfriend into the sink yeah so for the
[TS]
00:34:35
◼
►
last four days I haven't haven't been
[TS]
00:34:37
◼
►
able to sleep i'll be walking around on
[TS]
00:34:39
◼
►
my looking in drawers and pettite do you
[TS]
00:34:44
◼
►
feel do you feel that you feel that
[TS]
00:34:45
◼
►
there might be some kind
[TS]
00:34:46
◼
►
I'm saying like setting aside that if
[TS]
00:34:48
◼
►
they are active plasm they didn't really
[TS]
00:34:50
◼
►
need to open the doors except as some
[TS]
00:34:51
◼
►
kind of a way of helping you understand
[TS]
00:34:53
◼
►
me the plane that you exist on that they
[TS]
00:34:55
◼
►
are there
[TS]
00:34:56
◼
►
yep here with me right so you could
[TS]
00:34:58
◼
►
essentially be in the waiting room you
[TS]
00:35:00
◼
►
know for some kind of an interview but
[TS]
00:35:02
◼
►
setting that aside this is a hospital
[TS]
00:35:03
◼
►
not necessarily they didn't break the
[TS]
00:35:05
◼
►
doors but it isn't friendly either
[TS]
00:35:07
◼
►
that's what would you what would you if
[TS]
00:35:10
◼
►
you were for the sake of argument being
[TS]
00:35:12
◼
►
approached by probably non-existent UFOs
[TS]
00:35:14
◼
►
what he could be a friend that brand
[TS]
00:35:16
◼
►
cake and a space cake
[TS]
00:35:18
◼
►
no you know what friendly thing would be
[TS]
00:35:19
◼
►
kind of in a community service patrol
[TS]
00:35:22
◼
►
mode during the day to come by and say
[TS]
00:35:28
◼
►
either you know and then I know that
[TS]
00:35:30
◼
►
they can't come by during the day
[TS]
00:35:32
◼
►
because people would see them and take
[TS]
00:35:33
◼
►
pictures of them but they could come
[TS]
00:35:36
◼
►
into my mind and say things other than
[TS]
00:35:39
◼
►
the voices that are in my head already
[TS]
00:35:41
◼
►
telling me but I think that I just think
[TS]
00:35:44
◼
►
it'd take a distinct new voice a new
[TS]
00:35:47
◼
►
voice and clear clarion call that would
[TS]
00:35:48
◼
►
write about that for cake another cake
[TS]
00:35:50
◼
►
or have another cup have another pot of
[TS]
00:35:53
◼
►
coffee crazy person
[TS]
00:35:55
◼
►
mhm it would be a new voice that came in
[TS]
00:35:57
◼
►
and said hello earthly well that'd be
[TS]
00:36:00
◼
►
able to be friendly let's say they've
[TS]
00:36:01
◼
►
taken the extra steps there mean
[TS]
00:36:03
◼
►
51-percent and they have decided smooth
[TS]
00:36:07
◼
►
see now i'm assuming that you wouldn't
[TS]
00:36:09
◼
►
mind somebody human being at your door
[TS]
00:36:11
◼
►
but it's just for the sake of argument
[TS]
00:36:12
◼
►
let's say you don't mind people at your
[TS]
00:36:14
◼
►
I don't want any humans coming by i
[TS]
00:36:16
◼
►
understand that well okay then let's
[TS]
00:36:17
◼
►
let's take it and turn it in order for
[TS]
00:36:19
◼
►
them to come to you in a way that would
[TS]
00:36:21
◼
►
be presentable to maybe give you some
[TS]
00:36:22
◼
►
kind of evolution java I don't just
[TS]
00:36:25
◼
►
limit this 2222 venusaur or Uranus for
[TS]
00:36:28
◼
►
or how do you say that you say how do
[TS]
00:36:30
◼
►
you say your ins you really do so
[TS]
00:36:33
◼
►
I just didn't feel journalist ok you're
[TS]
00:36:36
◼
►
in this is how you describe something
[TS]
00:36:38
◼
►
that'll sting about the familiar and is
[TS]
00:36:40
◼
►
still stinging about the bluetooth thing
[TS]
00:36:42
◼
►
I brought my daughter booking a pluton
[TS]
00:36:44
◼
►
fucking pissed me off just as you said
[TS]
00:36:46
◼
►
that I looked over at the bookshelf here
[TS]
00:36:47
◼
►
at at a book that i have that says in
[TS]
00:36:50
◼
►
big letters Plato Plato and he said
[TS]
00:36:53
◼
►
Pluto and I have this book called Plato
[TS]
00:36:56
◼
►
a it's a totalitarian or Democrat by a
[TS]
00:37:02
◼
►
guy named orson about a Democrat or
[TS]
00:37:05
◼
►
false dilemma i know i know that
[TS]
00:37:08
◼
►
foursome is a name that's close to your
[TS]
00:37:10
◼
►
heart it is their stance in lansing my
[TS]
00:37:12
◼
►
favorites and for someone wrote this
[TS]
00:37:15
◼
►
wrote this with false dichotomy book
[TS]
00:37:17
◼
►
totalitarian a Democrat puedo that see
[TS]
00:37:21
◼
►
now if you are in a state of mind where
[TS]
00:37:22
◼
►
you were literally listening listening
[TS]
00:37:24
◼
►
to cake talk in the desire for coffee
[TS]
00:37:26
◼
►
and bass if you were listening to that
[TS]
00:37:27
◼
►
voice in your head is there some part of
[TS]
00:37:28
◼
►
you the go play doh dialogues Pluto two
[TS]
00:37:31
◼
►
people talking and find some kind of
[TS]
00:37:33
◼
►
connection and what just happened is now
[TS]
00:37:34
◼
►
it or you're not that superstitious
[TS]
00:37:36
◼
►
you're not that magical in your thinking
[TS]
00:37:38
◼
►
I'm not a died typically i'm not but now
[TS]
00:37:41
◼
►
you're slow thinking about it i'm slow
[TS]
00:37:43
◼
►
thinking and it does it's not helping me
[TS]
00:37:45
◼
►
I'm looking around I'm going well sure
[TS]
00:37:47
◼
►
how do I know that anything is anything
[TS]
00:37:50
◼
►
how do I know that this isn't all just
[TS]
00:37:51
◼
►
some kind of Jodi that address that's
[TS]
00:37:53
◼
►
addressed in one of one of the dialogue
[TS]
00:37:55
◼
►
forget probably something actually or
[TS]
00:37:56
◼
►
something
[TS]
00:37:57
◼
►
mythology it's it's it's the it's the
[TS]
00:38:00
◼
►
myth of the cave or whatever player down
[TS]
00:38:02
◼
►
it's a republic that's a whole other
[TS]
00:38:04
◼
►
deal that's a whole other deal attitude
[TS]
00:38:06
◼
►
is totally illogical argument I'm trying
[TS]
00:38:09
◼
►
to I'm trying to put you at ease and I
[TS]
00:38:10
◼
►
don't know if that can I don't put you
[TS]
00:38:12
◼
►
at anything I'm just trying to say that
[TS]
00:38:13
◼
►
if aliens were going like an
[TS]
00:38:14
◼
►
availability heuristic okay i think what
[TS]
00:38:17
◼
►
would happen is they understand that in
[TS]
00:38:19
◼
►
order to get you to even kind of pick up
[TS]
00:38:21
◼
►
the phone
[TS]
00:38:22
◼
►
the Venusian phone they would have to
[TS]
00:38:24
◼
►
come to you in a form that you
[TS]
00:38:24
◼
►
understand so the question I'm asking
[TS]
00:38:26
◼
►
you for priming the pump
[TS]
00:38:28
◼
►
okay so here's the thing those French
[TS]
00:38:29
◼
►
doors do not open themselves they were
[TS]
00:38:31
◼
►
they were literally dead bolted so
[TS]
00:38:33
◼
►
assuming let's just say for the sake of
[TS]
00:38:34
◼
►
argument in your home right now where
[TS]
00:38:36
◼
►
they can hear you might be the people
[TS]
00:38:38
◼
►
who are keeping you awake at night and
[TS]
00:38:40
◼
►
getting you in that tub
[TS]
00:38:41
◼
►
what do you say to them as you sit here
[TS]
00:38:43
◼
►
right now
[TS]
00:38:44
◼
►
to make this easier on both of you if
[TS]
00:38:46
◼
►
someone were gonna come and try to
[TS]
00:38:47
◼
►
present themselves as but i think you
[TS]
00:38:49
◼
►
called planting a seed a UFO see if they
[TS]
00:38:51
◼
►
were coming it what would be the best
[TS]
00:38:53
◼
►
way to approach you should they write a
[TS]
00:38:55
◼
►
well no I would say if they were
[TS]
00:38:56
◼
►
listening right now i would say listen
[TS]
00:38:58
◼
►
they're probably listening right now if
[TS]
00:38:59
◼
►
they're in your home if they can make it
[TS]
00:39:00
◼
►
through a French door they can / they
[TS]
00:39:02
◼
►
can overhear right but they could be
[TS]
00:39:03
◼
►
they could be fans of this podcast to I
[TS]
00:39:05
◼
►
mean they could be listening a lot of
[TS]
00:39:07
◼
►
that could be why they're coming but
[TS]
00:39:09
◼
►
they could be coming by your house
[TS]
00:39:10
◼
►
account for the second listener your
[TS]
00:39:11
◼
►
lady and how do you think he listened in
[TS]
00:39:14
◼
►
the van
[TS]
00:39:15
◼
►
yeah they're on their way on their way
[TS]
00:39:17
◼
►
down how do i would be receptive to that
[TS]
00:39:20
◼
►
I mean say listen if this is a job
[TS]
00:39:21
◼
►
interview
[TS]
00:39:22
◼
►
I'm going to consider any offers but we
[TS]
00:39:26
◼
►
have to talk about compensation and we
[TS]
00:39:28
◼
►
have to talk about you know like I don't
[TS]
00:39:30
◼
►
want to be just a mouthpiece I want a
[TS]
00:39:32
◼
►
little bit of I want the opportunity to
[TS]
00:39:33
◼
►
be individualistic in my work i'm not
[TS]
00:39:36
◼
►
i'm not a crime not accompany guy you
[TS]
00:39:38
◼
►
know what I mean like I say want me to
[TS]
00:39:39
◼
►
be the prime minister of Venus or
[TS]
00:39:42
◼
►
whatever I mean I have to have a certain
[TS]
00:39:44
◼
►
amount of autonomy and it can't be false
[TS]
00:39:46
◼
►
autonomy than I don't think i have would
[TS]
00:39:48
◼
►
it be would it be a republic would be
[TS]
00:39:49
◼
►
the kind of Republican monarchy do you
[TS]
00:39:51
◼
►
think do you think that you'd be serving
[TS]
00:39:53
◼
►
alongside somebody like a queen
[TS]
00:39:54
◼
►
elizabeth mission queen elizabeth the
[TS]
00:39:56
◼
►
second because because you know the
[TS]
00:39:58
◼
►
Prime Minister is the one is really
[TS]
00:39:59
◼
►
holding the keys as i understand it
[TS]
00:40:01
◼
►
yeah but I feel like I feel like there
[TS]
00:40:02
◼
►
should be kind of a slightly that I mean
[TS]
00:40:07
◼
►
there there there should be a parliament
[TS]
00:40:09
◼
►
where people from all over the world
[TS]
00:40:10
◼
►
come and sit in a giant sort of concert
[TS]
00:40:14
◼
►
hall shaped ok like the last two star
[TS]
00:40:17
◼
►
wars movies would be like to be like
[TS]
00:40:19
◼
►
lots of public meetings I never saw that
[TS]
00:40:21
◼
►
ok but i have to assume that yeah are as
[TS]
00:40:25
◼
►
i understood at those meetings were
[TS]
00:40:26
◼
►
those movies were just a lot of
[TS]
00:40:29
◼
►
exposition right there was no nothing
[TS]
00:40:32
◼
►
happening just a lot of people
[TS]
00:40:33
◼
►
expository seriously to we're talking
[TS]
00:40:35
◼
►
puppet meanings
[TS]
00:40:36
◼
►
it's lots of meetings public meetings
[TS]
00:40:37
◼
►
but ok now here's the other thing but
[TS]
00:40:39
◼
►
wait outside please go ahead
[TS]
00:40:40
◼
►
is it could it could it could be that
[TS]
00:40:42
◼
►
it's not a job interview it could be
[TS]
00:40:45
◼
►
something else are they going to get to
[TS]
00:40:46
◼
►
you John you're not sleeping much they
[TS]
00:40:48
◼
►
don't have a way to get into your dreams
[TS]
00:40:50
◼
►
yeah i mean that's incredible too okay
[TS]
00:40:53
◼
►
well that's not a native Native America
[TS]
00:40:55
◼
►
that is how a lot of job offers were
[TS]
00:40:57
◼
►
tendered is either through either a keg
[TS]
00:41:00
◼
►
beer or some kind of visitation
[TS]
00:41:02
◼
►
sometimes involving mushrooms sometimes
[TS]
00:41:04
◼
►
a Mesa attribute don't take the
[TS]
00:41:06
◼
►
mushrooms anymore exactly and I'm going
[TS]
00:41:09
◼
►
to circle back to this I want to talk
[TS]
00:41:10
◼
►
about whether we think right so you're
[TS]
00:41:11
◼
►
saying that the normal channels of
[TS]
00:41:14
◼
►
accessing me through dream linkedin and
[TS]
00:41:16
◼
►
later like are you on LinkedIn I don't
[TS]
00:41:19
◼
►
even accept linkedin invitation I didn't
[TS]
00:41:21
◼
►
I regret it i don't know i don't know
[TS]
00:41:22
◼
►
what the fuck I was thinking to be on
[TS]
00:41:24
◼
►
linkedin so they're trying to reach me
[TS]
00:41:26
◼
►
by normal channels and they can't so
[TS]
00:41:28
◼
►
they're coming through the door in the
[TS]
00:41:29
◼
►
middle of the night is that that's that
[TS]
00:41:31
◼
►
I that makes sense to me
[TS]
00:41:33
◼
►
imagine like you got this creepy girls
[TS]
00:41:35
◼
►
that like your band like they're not
[TS]
00:41:37
◼
►
going to come right up to you probably
[TS]
00:41:38
◼
►
and say like i wanna i want a lock of
[TS]
00:41:40
◼
►
your hair or you know touchscreen or
[TS]
00:41:42
◼
►
whatever and they're kind of did they do
[TS]
00:41:44
◼
►
yeah I figure they just would rattle
[TS]
00:41:46
◼
►
your doors a little bit he's gonna go
[TS]
00:41:47
◼
►
right I'm here I don't say touch your
[TS]
00:41:49
◼
►
screwed they won't touch your scrotum
[TS]
00:41:51
◼
►
because most girls nowadays at least two
[TS]
00:41:54
◼
►
are fans of bands want to pretend that
[TS]
00:41:56
◼
►
sex has nothing to do with there being
[TS]
00:41:58
◼
►
fan that's why they got the facebook is
[TS]
00:42:01
◼
►
that when they have a facebook is the
[TS]
00:42:02
◼
►
new version of cupping balls gently i
[TS]
00:42:05
◼
►
think i don't know and i deactivated my
[TS]
00:42:06
◼
►
account dots there are so many people on
[TS]
00:42:09
◼
►
facebook that i don't want to ever cut
[TS]
00:42:11
◼
►
my balls gently or otherwise you should
[TS]
00:42:13
◼
►
deactivate your account that's part of
[TS]
00:42:14
◼
►
your problem i have thought about it
[TS]
00:42:16
◼
►
I've thought about it but I'm afraid
[TS]
00:42:17
◼
►
you're afraid that we adopt doppelganger
[TS]
00:42:19
◼
►
John representing your wall
[TS]
00:42:21
◼
►
well no it's just the effect it's going
[TS]
00:42:23
◼
►
to have on my Klout score was that with
[TS]
00:42:25
◼
►
the k yeah I was being facetious
[TS]
00:42:30
◼
►
I think I think you're maybe I don't
[TS]
00:42:33
◼
►
tell you how to run your life John
[TS]
00:42:34
◼
►
I'm just thinking you might not be
[TS]
00:42:36
◼
►
thinking both big enough and small
[TS]
00:42:37
◼
►
enough to be I think you should think
[TS]
00:42:40
◼
►
big enough that if you were being
[TS]
00:42:41
◼
►
offered a Venusian position of some kind
[TS]
00:42:43
◼
►
you know what if I were revolution
[TS]
00:42:45
◼
►
coming to John and rattling is fucking
[TS]
00:42:46
◼
►
French doors I would be saying you know
[TS]
00:42:48
◼
►
what John could we have your wisdom by
[TS]
00:42:49
◼
►
roxy to come in and literally in invent
[TS]
00:42:52
◼
►
an entire voltage Sean that might
[TS]
00:42:53
◼
►
involve it might involve a parliament
[TS]
00:42:55
◼
►
turn it might well i got all scared I've
[TS]
00:42:57
◼
►
got up when I'm not even worried about
[TS]
00:42:59
◼
►
that John my concern is how are they
[TS]
00:43:01
◼
►
gonna get to you you should have you
[TS]
00:43:03
◼
►
should offer you should maybe you should
[TS]
00:43:05
◼
►
offer a hand to them you know i'm
[TS]
00:43:06
◼
►
available and i think part of part of
[TS]
00:43:08
◼
►
the reason
[TS]
00:43:08
◼
►
I'm talking about this openly at risk of
[TS]
00:43:10
◼
►
sounding like a crazy person on because
[TS]
00:43:12
◼
►
I want them to know that I know and then
[TS]
00:43:15
◼
►
i'm here i'm not i'm not too rattled by
[TS]
00:43:18
◼
►
it i mean i-i think I think going a few
[TS]
00:43:20
◼
►
sleepless nights on the scale of what
[TS]
00:43:23
◼
►
potential human reactions to having
[TS]
00:43:25
◼
►
aliens come kick down their door in the
[TS]
00:43:27
◼
►
middle and I I think that's pretty
[TS]
00:43:28
◼
►
mellow right
[TS]
00:43:29
◼
►
yes I think that shows that talking
[TS]
00:43:31
◼
►
about running an entire fucking planet
[TS]
00:43:33
◼
►
John yeah yeah so I so I wander around
[TS]
00:43:35
◼
►
the house in a bathrobe with a you know
[TS]
00:43:38
◼
►
bristling with the guns and swords but
[TS]
00:43:41
◼
►
not i'm not it's not like every time I
[TS]
00:43:43
◼
►
round a corner i'm like like spike
[TS]
00:43:46
◼
►
swishing the air with a sword or
[TS]
00:43:49
◼
►
something i'm going to just carry it in
[TS]
00:43:50
◼
►
case that won't happen to like probably
[TS]
00:43:52
◼
►
februari I'm hoping that it doesn't last
[TS]
00:43:55
◼
►
that long i hope i'm hoping that they
[TS]
00:43:56
◼
►
either tender a job offer or they move
[TS]
00:43:59
◼
►
on but a but I you know I don't want to
[TS]
00:44:02
◼
►
but you said you know sharing this house
[TS]
00:44:04
◼
►
there yeah right
[TS]
00:44:05
◼
►
no you don't sound needy about it which
[TS]
00:44:07
◼
►
I love I think that reads so
[TS]
00:44:08
◼
►
well-adjusted movie full metal jacket
[TS]
00:44:10
◼
►
the ceiling kubrick movie it was one of
[TS]
00:44:13
◼
►
the best parts that maybe I think and
[TS]
00:44:14
◼
►
apart from the first half just mostly
[TS]
00:44:16
◼
►
just the first half
[TS]
00:44:17
◼
►
he's out I'm you're born again hard I
[TS]
00:44:21
◼
►
talking about r lee ermey the man who
[TS]
00:44:22
◼
►
played the sergeant earlier me really
[TS]
00:44:26
◼
►
really really squandered my you
[TS]
00:44:31
◼
►
squandered the authority that he always
[TS]
00:44:33
◼
►
kick cable TV
[TS]
00:44:34
◼
►
yeah because of that stupid that's what
[TS]
00:44:37
◼
►
television show he's blowing up
[TS]
00:44:38
◼
►
watermelons with a but like you know
[TS]
00:44:41
◼
►
homemade cannons and thinking you're
[TS]
00:44:43
◼
►
thinking Gallagher for his brother who
[TS]
00:44:46
◼
►
was impersonating him galleries brother
[TS]
00:44:47
◼
►
impersonating him for a while I didn't
[TS]
00:44:49
◼
►
know that and I i read a read an
[TS]
00:44:51
◼
►
interesting
[TS]
00:44:52
◼
►
oh you know what it was i read an
[TS]
00:44:53
◼
►
interesting live-tweet review of a
[TS]
00:44:56
◼
►
Gallagher show that the cam Camarena
[TS]
00:45:00
◼
►
that sounds like a memory now that
[TS]
00:45:02
◼
►
really made me believe it really it
[TS]
00:45:05
◼
►
absolved me from ever needing to see a
[TS]
00:45:07
◼
►
Gallagher show imagine being Gallagher
[TS]
00:45:10
◼
►
like how much science
[TS]
00:45:11
◼
►
and in fact that you're not like now
[TS]
00:45:13
◼
►
you're having to compete with this
[TS]
00:45:14
◼
►
doppelganger version of yourself but you
[TS]
00:45:16
◼
►
know the story of modern Gallagher rite
[TS]
00:45:18
◼
►
which is that he's a xenophobe like
[TS]
00:45:20
◼
►
using and he's a racist 030 stairs
[TS]
00:45:23
◼
►
little stony is what I heard I heard he
[TS]
00:45:25
◼
►
smokes smokes smokes smokes a lot of the
[TS]
00:45:26
◼
►
we don't currently know he's like a
[TS]
00:45:28
◼
►
crazy tea party boy here like hates the
[TS]
00:45:32
◼
►
Mexicans crazy how do you think that I'm
[TS]
00:45:36
◼
►
not fucking vacations can breathe pics
[TS]
00:45:38
◼
►
those fucking watermelons you think it's
[TS]
00:45:39
◼
►
white guys with mustaches meandering
[TS]
00:45:41
◼
►
hammers now you've brought in full
[TS]
00:45:43
◼
►
circle of tea party here's one here's
[TS]
00:45:45
◼
►
what i want to take you back before
[TS]
00:45:46
◼
►
cable TV even existed i want to get back
[TS]
00:45:48
◼
►
to nineteen eighty-seven here's what
[TS]
00:45:49
◼
►
happened Goomer give you existed in
[TS]
00:45:52
◼
►
nineteen me something I don't think
[TS]
00:45:53
◼
►
that's accurate
[TS]
00:45:53
◼
►
Stanley Kubrick was going to make this
[TS]
00:45:55
◼
►
movie and so you know such an
[TS]
00:45:57
◼
►
interesting guy i mean i I'm so
[TS]
00:45:59
◼
►
fascinated by Stanley Kubrick in general
[TS]
00:46:01
◼
►
very intimidating guy much like you may
[TS]
00:46:03
◼
►
be heard voices
[TS]
00:46:04
◼
►
he he looks like John Bonham food and he
[TS]
00:46:07
◼
►
looks like my friend Adam doesn't know
[TS]
00:46:10
◼
►
well he looks a little like Adam but
[TS]
00:46:11
◼
►
it's they both look a little like John
[TS]
00:46:13
◼
►
Bottomly charbon past lot late period
[TS]
00:46:15
◼
►
john bonham Littlejohn bottom now right
[TS]
00:46:18
◼
►
he's a have seemed laying down
[TS]
00:46:20
◼
►
yeah he's thinner and so he knew i had
[TS]
00:46:23
◼
►
to get all this stuff right now by the
[TS]
00:46:24
◼
►
way Parris Island I think it's for
[TS]
00:46:26
◼
►
ladies now I think their silence for
[TS]
00:46:27
◼
►
letting me sound like they have dudes at
[TS]
00:46:28
◼
►
Parris Island anymore they put them
[TS]
00:46:30
◼
►
somewhere else for something so so he
[TS]
00:46:32
◼
►
knew that he needed somebody who
[TS]
00:46:33
◼
►
understood what the circuit what 67-68
[TS]
00:46:37
◼
►
Parris Island experience would be like
[TS]
00:46:39
◼
►
so he brought in this consultant earlier
[TS]
00:46:42
◼
►
me earlier me he brought in a consultant
[TS]
00:46:44
◼
►
and the consultants job was to make sure
[TS]
00:46:47
◼
►
that you know everything was up to snow
[TS]
00:46:49
◼
►
the story goes just too interesting
[TS]
00:46:51
◼
►
parts to this story I think the first
[TS]
00:46:53
◼
►
interesting part is he was brought in
[TS]
00:46:55
◼
►
you know and actor the talent if you
[TS]
00:46:58
◼
►
like this cricket picked it was buggin
[TS]
00:47:02
◼
►
early army he felt like he was not
[TS]
00:47:03
◼
►
getting it right right and so you know
[TS]
00:47:05
◼
►
the story
[TS]
00:47:06
◼
►
no he goes to Stanley Kubrick and got
[TS]
00:47:09
◼
►
mega well he went up to him as a
[TS]
00:47:11
◼
►
consultant you know he's on he's on the
[TS]
00:47:14
◼
►
remember this is probably happening in
[TS]
00:47:15
◼
►
England so he's out of his element he's
[TS]
00:47:17
◼
►
probably gonna wear you know Micah he's
[TS]
00:47:19
◼
►
gotta wear Mufti we call it that's when
[TS]
00:47:21
◼
►
you're in
[TS]
00:47:21
◼
►
you know civilian clothes and Buffy I
[TS]
00:47:26
◼
►
thought that was a grain like that and
[TS]
00:47:29
◼
►
North African grain I think you think
[TS]
00:47:30
◼
►
that other kubrick movie Strangelove
[TS]
00:47:32
◼
►
president muffin
[TS]
00:47:34
◼
►
so anyway he goes stanley kubrick mrs.
[TS]
00:47:37
◼
►
look mr. Kubik this is not working out
[TS]
00:47:39
◼
►
this guy it nobody who's ever been in
[TS]
00:47:41
◼
►
the rain should see this guy and you
[TS]
00:47:43
◼
►
know right that was like thank you very
[TS]
00:47:45
◼
►
much please you know get give your notes
[TS]
00:47:48
◼
►
to my assistant and r lee ermey fucking
[TS]
00:47:51
◼
►
goes into full-on r lee ermey mode in
[TS]
00:47:54
◼
►
Stanley Kubrick's face scares the living
[TS]
00:47:57
◼
►
shit out of stanley kubrick by doing
[TS]
00:48:00
◼
►
basically what he's saying this actor is
[TS]
00:48:03
◼
►
not doing and Kubrick is blown away by
[TS]
00:48:06
◼
►
it i think that's a very interesting
[TS]
00:48:08
◼
►
story but here's where it gets great
[TS]
00:48:09
◼
►
cubicles ok alright we would let me just
[TS]
00:48:12
◼
►
let me just interject this is absolutely
[TS]
00:48:15
◼
►
approach i'm gonna take if the aliens is
[TS]
00:48:18
◼
►
missus is why bring it up
[TS]
00:48:20
◼
►
that's why bring it up all right go
[TS]
00:48:21
◼
►
ahead the the next part of what we're
[TS]
00:48:23
◼
►
going to come straight back this you
[TS]
00:48:24
◼
►
know what I'm can just be honest with
[TS]
00:48:25
◼
►
you I'm not really i'm tearing up cake
[TS]
00:48:27
◼
►
in rem band Christ it's like it's like
[TS]
00:48:33
◼
►
it's like you know Rex Harrison meets a
[TS]
00:48:36
◼
►
man nice shot
[TS]
00:48:37
◼
►
his name is singing a horrible era
[TS]
00:48:40
◼
►
except for that steal my sunshine song
[TS]
00:48:42
◼
►
get that get that of Evelyn champagne
[TS]
00:48:45
◼
►
king who is that with that sample is
[TS]
00:48:47
◼
►
number one record in the country the
[TS]
00:48:49
◼
►
landing about Len I don't know
[TS]
00:48:52
◼
►
or fastball cake cake who did you get a
[TS]
00:48:55
◼
►
number one record right before right
[TS]
00:48:57
◼
►
before the December's had their
[TS]
00:48:58
◼
►
number-one record
[TS]
00:48:59
◼
►
hmm he said luck our technical you are
[TS]
00:49:05
◼
►
in Sergeant are but here's the thing
[TS]
00:49:07
◼
►
i'll give you a shot at this
[TS]
00:49:09
◼
►
the thing he just did now for 15 seconds
[TS]
00:49:11
◼
►
that made me literally shit my actually
[TS]
00:49:13
◼
►
American pants is is was awesome but
[TS]
00:49:15
◼
►
here's the thing i will let you do this
[TS]
00:49:19
◼
►
role but you have to do what you just
[TS]
00:49:23
◼
►
did for 15 minutes without stopping and
[TS]
00:49:27
◼
►
without repeating yourself while people
[TS]
00:49:30
◼
►
throw tennis balls at you haha
[TS]
00:49:33
◼
►
and although the video has supposedly
[TS]
00:49:36
◼
►
never been found released whatever he's
[TS]
00:49:39
◼
►
fucking did it
[TS]
00:49:40
◼
►
you know you try that haha Megan I'm
[TS]
00:49:41
◼
►
going to call you w bob i can do it now
[TS]
00:49:44
◼
►
45 seconds he did it for 15 fucking
[TS]
00:49:45
◼
►
minutes what people through tennis balls
[TS]
00:49:47
◼
►
at him wow ok that is how you make a
[TS]
00:49:51
◼
►
alright i'm just saying now I've talked
[TS]
00:49:52
◼
►
about this some of my other program you
[TS]
00:49:53
◼
►
can just go somewhere and like you know
[TS]
00:49:55
◼
►
a you know print your resume and like
[TS]
00:49:58
◼
►
throw it on the fucking Internet you get
[TS]
00:49:59
◼
►
in there and you say you're gonna hire
[TS]
00:50:00
◼
►
me jackass do you want if you want to
[TS]
00:50:02
◼
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get this Venus shit straightened out
[TS]
00:50:03
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you're going to come here and you're
[TS]
00:50:05
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gonna find a way to reach me in the tub
[TS]
00:50:07
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where I'm literally eating cake not
[TS]
00:50:08
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there and and and you you're gonna I'm
[TS]
00:50:11
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gonna set you straight i'm gonna grab
[TS]
00:50:11
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you by the ectoplasmic version of your
[TS]
00:50:14
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lapels and I'm gonna fucking shake your
[TS]
00:50:16
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venetian ass until you understand that
[TS]
00:50:18
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I'm the man you're hiring your thoughts
[TS]
00:50:19
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johner well I had a very long
[TS]
00:50:21
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conversation with my 87 year old uncle
[TS]
00:50:24
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yesterday about this very topic my 87
[TS]
00:50:28
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and precise on this very missed it this
[TS]
00:50:32
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very topic would you do if i called him
[TS]
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today on whatever we can be able to tell
[TS]
00:50:36
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me what that very topic was absolutely
[TS]
00:50:38
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he you know he was saying grab the grab
[TS]
00:50:42
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your alien overlords by their
[TS]
00:50:43
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ectoplasmic lapels and shake them now
[TS]
00:50:47
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he's what he was saying this is this is
[TS]
00:50:49
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a problem that he has experience in his
[TS]
00:50:52
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own life which is that p.m. he went to
[TS]
00:50:56
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Yale College and his and two of his
[TS]
00:51:00
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classmates and being people he knew
[TS]
00:51:02
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fairly well where george herbert walker
[TS]
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bush and uh uh
[TS]
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[Music]
[TS]
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[Music]
[TS]