The Incomparable

173: Santa-Based Christmas


00:00:00   listen aveda to tune feliz navidad can [TS]

00:00:05   do [TS]

00:00:06   Feliz Navidad Prospero and your [TS]

00:00:09   felicidad TT our wish you a Merry [TS]

00:00:14   Christmas i wanna wish you a merry [TS]

00:00:17   christmas from the bottom haha yes he's [TS]

00:00:23   fine meet you all [TS]

00:00:31   the incontrovertible number 173 December [TS]

00:00:36   2013 welcome back everybody to the [TS]

00:00:40   uncomfortable i'm your host Jason still [TS]

00:00:41   and it's still the holidays as we record [TS]

00:00:43   this and release this and we're going to [TS]

00:00:45   talk about holiday stuff again it's [TS]

00:00:48   another holiday themed episode and in [TS]

00:00:51   this episode we'll talk about hopefully [TS]

00:00:54   music which I know is a little bit of a [TS]

00:00:56   departure for me but i think this should [TS]

00:00:57   be a fun holiday topic you'll be the [TS]

00:00:59   judge of whether it was actually fun as [TS]

00:01:01   you listen I have a very nice collection [TS]

00:01:03   of people here to talk about holiday [TS]

00:01:06   music things we like things we don't [TS]

00:01:08   like and to get it all started I want to [TS]

00:01:12   welcome auntie Ashley hi Monty hi are [TS]

00:01:15   you having a holly jolly christmas i set [TS]

00:01:17   up a tree yesterday but I got a bigger [TS]

00:01:20   tree that I have ornaments for it so [TS]

00:01:22   it's really kind of sparse right now [TS]

00:01:25   do you have Holly no do you have jolly [TS]

00:01:27   yes okay [TS]

00:01:29   halfway there just get some molly and [TS]

00:01:31   you're good you're set [TS]

00:01:32   Steve let's is also here hi Steve hey [TS]

00:01:34   Jason that yes I'm here and I'm ill [TS]

00:01:36   prepared and bring nothing to the table [TS]

00:01:38   as usual [TS]

00:01:39   good we'll get more letters then so [TS]

00:01:40   that's it thanks I feel lonely when [TS]

00:01:44   people don't write in and tell me how [TS]

00:01:46   you've ruined the podcast so that the [TS]

00:01:49   next time you get a Christmas card to [TS]

00:01:50   that effect i can only hope [TS]

00:01:52   Erica and sinus back we only receive [TS]

00:01:55   letters praising her presence on the [TS]

00:01:57   podcast hi Erica shucks [TS]

00:02:00   hi you like the anti Steve Corino and [TS]

00:02:04   we're on the same podcast together [TS]

00:02:05   shouldn't things be exploding it that we [TS]

00:02:07   just keep things evened out give it time [TS]

00:02:09   works [TS]

00:02:10   give it time david lawrence also here hi [TS]

00:02:12   David hello there [TS]

00:02:14   Holly and jolly and I z2 excellent [TS]

00:02:19   Wow holly jolly would eat ivy too [TS]

00:02:21   wouldn't you don't even without a [TS]

00:02:23   holiday wow yeah and Tippecanoe and [TS]

00:02:26   Tyler wait a second that has nothing to [TS]

00:02:28   do with the holidays 4440 or fight mares [TS]

00:02:30   eat oats and little lambs eat ivy that [TS]

00:02:33   Voice you heard Lisa's miser who is also [TS]

00:02:34   here hi Lisa [TS]

00:02:35   hi there and she has bells did I brought [TS]

00:02:39   my dish results for missiles on somebody [TS]

00:02:41   you know somebody lyrics [TS]

00:02:43   from her later but for now she has the [TS]

00:02:46   belt and and Phillip Michaels joins us [TS]

00:02:48   our the world's foremost expert on [TS]

00:02:50   holiday music night I wouldn't say that [TS]

00:02:52   I I get when I yeah but i know in a [TS]

00:02:58   minute i notice that i'm also only on [TS]

00:03:02   the podcast with their 12,000 other [TS]

00:03:04   people [TS]

00:03:05   what's up with that I can carry a show [TS]

00:03:08   you know I can your magnetic because we [TS]

00:03:11   just didn't feel we must be here when [TS]

00:03:12   you're here mr. Michaels will now spend [TS]

00:03:14   the next 20 minutes discourses on [TS]

00:03:16   holiday music by himself go and we'll [TS]

00:03:18   just listen we're just here to listen [TS]

00:03:20   man and also you're here to balance that [TS]

00:03:22   Steve so you know yeah now i feel like [TS]

00:03:24   when I'm when Phil's on the podcast i [TS]

00:03:26   don't actually have to say much because [TS]

00:03:27   you will carry the weight I i would like [TS]

00:03:30   letter writers of the future to know [TS]

00:03:31   that i have two pages full of notes [TS]

00:03:33   flights a podcast it's true he does so [TS]

00:03:37   you're really callup counterbalancing me [TS]

00:03:39   who has is ill-prepared but i have no [TS]

00:03:41   Holly because she split in what I have [TS]

00:03:44   notes and my twitter handle has Holly in [TS]

00:03:47   it so dang ok point2 Erica alright fair [TS]

00:03:51   enough [TS]

00:03:52   yeah but this is a holiday season it's [TS]

00:03:54   not about who wins or who loses and we [TS]

00:03:55   know he's gonna lose so it doesn't [TS]

00:03:57   really matter so Steve stars skinflint [TS]

00:04:02   column country christmas carol for the [TS]

00:04:04   previous episode for more information [TS]

00:04:07   about that and you can write letters if [TS]

00:04:09   you like [TS]

00:04:10   anyway so holiday music I i wanted to [TS]

00:04:12   start there's so much in holiday music [TS]

00:04:15   so much good so much terrible i thought [TS]

00:04:17   maybe we would start on me on the on the [TS]

00:04:19   positive side and talk about what what [TS]

00:04:22   makes us like holiday music and the [TS]

00:04:24   things about it that we actually like [TS]

00:04:26   but I suppose as always i should ask [TS]

00:04:28   especially for those who have many pages [TS]

00:04:30   of notes if anyone has any opening [TS]

00:04:32   remarks Johnson style this would be a [TS]

00:04:35   good time I I guess I I don't really [TS]

00:04:38   have any opening remarks aight aight i [TS]

00:04:41   have a mixed relationship with holiday [TS]

00:04:43   music some of it as he say I I like [TS]

00:04:47   although the stuff that i like is [TS]

00:04:50   and i'm sure this is fairly typical of [TS]

00:04:53   everyone else on the one in the stuff i [TS]

00:04:55   like is the the stuff that is particular [TS]

00:04:57   to my personal taste I I like bluesy [TS]

00:05:00   bluesy and-and-and country and and sad [TS]

00:05:04   music and so the holiday music I like [TS]

00:05:07   tends to be blues and country and sad [TS]

00:05:09   but I don't really care for is the just [TS]

00:05:14   by way of background here in San [TS]

00:05:15   Francisco we have a radio station kait [TS]

00:05:18   kait yes that the day after thanksgiving [TS]

00:05:22   the day of thanksgiving right on [TS]

00:05:24   Thanksgiving this year they did it the [TS]

00:05:26   day before thanksgiving there there [TS]

00:05:27   stick is that they play nothing but [TS]

00:05:28   Christmas on the month's worth of [TS]

00:05:30   christmas music but their playlist is [TS]

00:05:31   like 24 songs [TS]

00:05:33   yeah because it has the front the [TS]

00:05:35   problem with with stations like koi Dory [TS]

00:05:38   or your local mega mall or our or [TS]

00:05:40   anything is that the wash FM for people [TS]

00:05:42   who might be living in Washington DC as [TS]

00:05:44   the same so now we've covered two cities [TS]

00:05:45   are there any other radio stations in [TS]

00:05:47   this country that play radio how can [TS]

00:05:49   someone let me google that ok you google [TS]

00:05:50   that and I'll keep talking this is [TS]

00:05:52   movable has been to and they started the [TS]

00:05:54   day before thanksgiving so this is a [TS]

00:05:57   scourge that across the country perhaps [TS]

00:05:58   the world know you and and what you want [TS]

00:06:02   when you're when you're picking holiday [TS]

00:06:03   music for a mass-market you want things [TS]

00:06:05   that are happy and upbeat and happy and [TS]

00:06:07   don't really mention God too much [TS]

00:06:10   because that might put people off and [TS]

00:06:12   don't don't and mention lots of snow [TS]

00:06:15   even if like you're living in a portion [TS]

00:06:17   of the country that if it snows on [TS]

00:06:19   Christmas it's a sign of the apocalypse [TS]

00:06:21   something's gone horribly wrong but [TS]

00:06:24   anyhow um a lot of the christmas music [TS]

00:06:28   out there is quite terrible and for a [TS]

00:06:30   while I collected it until I came to my [TS]

00:06:32   senses and and now and it's allowed me [TS]

00:06:35   to seek out things i actually like so [TS]

00:06:37   that there are you know a couple dozen [TS]

00:06:39   songs i would I have a playlist of 24 [TS]

00:06:41   songs to Lisa and and accept the things [TS]

00:06:44   that I like and not like Neil Diamond [TS]

00:06:47   doing his christmas album as it was a [TS]

00:06:50   few years ago I i really love that Neil [TS]

00:06:52   Diamond's think the hell out of [TS]

00:06:53   christmas carol well and and this is [TS]

00:06:56   because you can practically hear i'm [TS]

00:06:57   thinking come on back out its well and [TS]

00:07:00   and this is the other thing about about [TS]

00:07:01   a lot of christmas music is cool [TS]

00:07:03   really a cash grab it we rarely someone [TS]

00:07:05   came to to the the the the superstar of [TS]

00:07:10   the day or the the fading legend and [TS]

00:07:12   said hey hey baby love what you're doing [TS]

00:07:14   but they are you better you better crank [TS]

00:07:16   out a Christmas album because people [TS]

00:07:19   people will buy it parts people's brains [TS]

00:07:21   will will see and I thought this was [TS]

00:07:23   gonna start in positive and it's totally [TS]

00:07:24   my mom I think it's gonna stay here with [TS]

00:07:28   friends like people's brains are are are [TS]

00:07:30   disconnected i think when it comes to [TS]

00:07:32   buying christmas music versus other [TS]

00:07:33   users like oh it's called the holidays [TS]

00:07:36   what you mean Brian carry as christmas [TS]

00:07:39   album she has more than 100 by the mall [TS]

00:07:42   and in there like logic escapes you and [TS]

00:07:44   you're like the holiday season yay and [TS]

00:07:46   then you you ask yourself oh god what if [TS]

00:07:48   i don't i have found that i am the [TS]

00:07:50   opposite of that i was i was doing a [TS]

00:07:52   little research for today because weezer [TS]

00:07:54   actually has a couple of Christmas songs [TS]

00:07:56   that I like so i was trying to find them [TS]

00:07:57   and it turns out they did an entire [TS]

00:07:59   christmas album but the Christmas album [TS]

00:08:01   it's just them doing Christmas carols so [TS]

00:08:03   I i looked at the song list and [TS]

00:08:04   immediately when I do not want that i [TS]

00:08:06   will not know no research Steve people [TS]

00:08:09   actually do it [TS]

00:08:10   what I found with my own Christmas [TS]

00:08:12   carols is if I have a strong sentimental [TS]

00:08:14   attachment to the song because I spend I [TS]

00:08:15   associate with a really specific event [TS]

00:08:17   or or or time in my life it doesn't [TS]

00:08:20   matter that it's bad when I think [TS]

00:08:22   perhaps the best example of this and [TS]

00:08:24   this also shows how old I am is I'm a [TS]

00:08:25   huge sucker for band for the band-aid do [TS]

00:08:29   they know it's Christmas and I can't [TS]

00:08:32   help it but it comes on and all this and [TS]

00:08:34   i'm singing along with everyone like now [TS]

00:08:36   you Paul you know King least there will [TS]

00:08:38   be no snow in Africa this chris yeah [TS]

00:08:41   have you ever sat down and dissected the [TS]

00:08:43   lyrics of people that's perfect nothing [TS]

00:08:45   wrong with the clanging times of doom [TS]

00:08:47   okay i have it's it's it's the lyrics [TS]

00:08:49   make no sense whatsoever and and but I [TS]

00:08:52   can just remember being in seventh grade [TS]

00:08:54   and watching the videos like a thousand [TS]

00:08:55   my closest girlfriends at all of us like [TS]

00:08:57   passing out in excitement over watching [TS]

00:09:00   george michael or Simon Lebon or what [TS]

00:09:01   have you and so every time i hear that [TS]

00:09:03   song was that little bit of adolescent [TS]

00:09:05   rush when the boundaries of your [TS]

00:09:07   Christmas are just beginning to expand [TS]

00:09:09   from family to you know your water [TS]

00:09:11   community to your to your girlfriend's [TS]

00:09:13   to the digital resource rituals you have [TS]

00:09:15   with your friends and fit [TS]

00:09:17   I was never a big George Michael found [TS]

00:09:18   always preferred duran duran but it but [TS]

00:09:20   no like and I know objectively speaking [TS]

00:09:22   I know the song is terrible [TS]

00:09:24   objectively speaking it's really [TS]

00:09:26   embarrassing every time I sing along [TS]

00:09:27   with bonduel tonight thank god it's them [TS]

00:09:30   and yet every time it comes on i am [TS]

00:09:32   building along the top of my lungs in [TS]

00:09:34   the car [TS]

00:09:35   how can you even do that there's no [TS]

00:09:37   melody to the song it's just kinda [TS]

00:09:38   meanders here and there and it until it [TS]

00:09:41   gets to feed the world which is actually [TS]

00:09:43   pretty catchy that makes it easy for [TS]

00:09:45   this was a limited musical talent having [TS]

00:09:47   no melody is probably a gift so I'm on [TS]

00:09:50   Lisa side i'm a big fan of do they know [TS]

00:09:52   it's Christmas [TS]

00:09:52   it's that dumbest song the planet and [TS]

00:09:55   yet i really like it i came into that [TS]

00:09:57   song already a fan of bob geldof because [TS]

00:09:59   i love the Boomtown Rats that was [TS]

00:10:00   excited that he was getting some more [TS]

00:10:02   public exposure and then he became super [TS]

00:10:04   famous there's less fun although the [TS]

00:10:07   version of do they know it's christmas i [TS]

00:10:08   have on my Christmas playlist is [TS]

00:10:10   actually by the comedy death-ray choir [TS]

00:10:12   from the podcast comedy death-ray high [TS]

00:10:15   so it's got things like Ryan Poston and [TS]

00:10:18   Doug Benson oh wow really the only [TS]

00:10:21   musical thing to recommend that person [TS]

00:10:23   is the one line that car funko notes do [TS]

00:10:25   so weird al on it [TS]

00:10:28   I the version that i have on my playlist [TS]

00:10:31   is by the custard kings and mashes up [TS]

00:10:33   that and Snoopy's Christmas and it's [TS]

00:10:36   called do they know it's Snoopy's [TS]

00:10:37   Christmas why have you not play by play [TS]

00:10:41   that for you under the same every year i [TS]

00:10:42   play it for you you can block it out [TS]

00:10:44   because you're like waiting for Simon [TS]

00:10:46   Lebon to show up and take you away from [TS]

00:10:48   all this [TS]

00:10:49   it's true like I am he can we all agree [TS]

00:10:53   that that Vince Geralt ease uh Charlie [TS]

00:10:59   Brown soundtrack is classic christmas [TS]

00:11:01   music do you give me that [TS]

00:11:03   oh yeah yes listen to that year-round [TS]

00:11:04   best Christmas out my own and I own [TS]

00:11:06   quite a few i agree although the music [TS]

00:11:09   is not really christmas-related right [TS]

00:11:11   now is interesting [TS]

00:11:12   my friend group who had never seen the [TS]

00:11:14   Charlie Brown Christmas special and she [TS]

00:11:15   got introduced to the album is an adult [TS]

00:11:17   and she's like at least be called I [TS]

00:11:19   can't hang on i don't like it so I [TS]

00:11:21   wonder again I think objectively [TS]

00:11:22   speaking it's it's I like his piano [TS]

00:11:25   style i like the arrangements but i also [TS]

00:11:27   wonder how much of it is also is [TS]

00:11:29   strongly says [TS]

00:11:30   it with seeing and enjoying that the [TS]

00:11:32   specialist as a child to doesn't matter [TS]

00:11:34   i haven't seen that in years I don't [TS]

00:11:35   even remember them you know there's an [TS]

00:11:36   adorable cartoon characters dancing in [TS]

00:11:38   your head [TS]

00:11:39   our daughter is currently obsessed with [TS]

00:11:40   the Charlie Brown and special so what [TS]

00:11:42   we've seen it every night for the past [TS]

00:11:43   five nights I think it's pretty well all [TS]

00:11:45   I remember that age [TS]

00:11:47   oh yeah it's a great though it's a great [TS]

00:11:50   album it I i enjoy it a lot that's [TS]

00:11:52   present wrapping music that's that's [TS]

00:11:54   what I put on when i go to wrap presence [TS]

00:11:56   and it's it's just that's what puts me [TS]

00:11:58   in the spirit that's the official start [TS]

00:12:00   of the Christmas season for me [TS]

00:12:01   ok so Steve you say you've got a lot of [TS]

00:12:03   christmas music what what's the stuff [TS]

00:12:04   that you have that you like oh there's [TS]

00:12:06   actually you know I'm i was going to say [TS]

00:12:08   I was surprised because i sat down to do [TS]

00:12:10   my usual intensive preparation for this [TS]

00:12:13   might get em and and I was expecting to [TS]

00:12:16   dig out a couple dozen songs that I [TS]

00:12:19   really really didn't like and I found a [TS]

00:12:22   few but mostly as I was kind of [TS]

00:12:24   strolling through the Christmas genre of [TS]

00:12:27   my ipod I i just kept finding song after [TS]

00:12:30   song that I'd that i would say oh hey I [TS]

00:12:32   like that song it's pretty good [TS]

00:12:33   oh yeah that was a classic oh yeah this [TS]

00:12:35   is great and it eventually I had like [TS]

00:12:38   maybe 30 songs written I'd like which I [TS]

00:12:41   will not go into detail on here but it [TS]

00:12:43   surprised me a little bit because I i do [TS]

00:12:45   generally kind of think of a lot of [TS]

00:12:47   christmas music is being overly small [TS]

00:12:48   tea and no really sakura and kind of all [TS]

00:12:52   buy a template and yet there's a lot and [TS]

00:12:55   it's not just stuff that I remember [TS]

00:12:56   hearing when I was a kid although [TS]

00:12:57   there's an aspect of that but there's a [TS]

00:13:00   lot of holiday music that I really enjoy [TS]

00:13:01   so i was very surprised by that [TS]

00:13:04   wow your heart grew three sizes that day [TS]

00:13:07   Steve it really did [TS]

00:13:09   yeah you know I very ready to come [TS]

00:13:11   there's a combination of nostalgia [TS]

00:13:12   there's the stuff that you were around [TS]

00:13:15   when you when you were a kid and that's [TS]

00:13:17   that's a part of it because especially [TS]

00:13:18   as a as a child in the holidays I mean [TS]

00:13:21   that you're obviously form a lot of [TS]

00:13:23   impressions then but then there's the [TS]

00:13:25   there's the you know your shift to the [TS]

00:13:27   pop music kind of kind of Christmas and [TS]

00:13:31   I i remember for me people of a certain [TS]

00:13:33   age and this is a little bit like saying [TS]

00:13:35   do they know it's christmas but when [TS]

00:13:37   that a very special Christmas anthology [TS]

00:13:40   came out in the was that the mid to late [TS]

00:13:42   eighties [TS]

00:13:43   nothing like that something like that [TS]

00:13:45   was that was that moment like who pop [TS]

00:13:47   stars are making christmas music and i [TS]

00:13:49   think i have the one on iTunes and yeah [TS]

00:13:51   yeah and that was my that was that was [TS]

00:13:53   that moment where it's like oh there's [TS]

00:13:55   this whole leverage on route there and [TS]

00:13:56   and so I have you know I've got I've got [TS]

00:13:58   a little from column A&A little from [TS]

00:14:00   column B right I've got some stuff that [TS]

00:14:01   I consider sort of classic and standard [TS]

00:14:03   and those are more nostalgic and older [TS]

00:14:06   and then I've kind of like over the [TS]

00:14:08   years collected christmas songs and [TS]

00:14:10   holiday songs from bands i like or you [TS]

00:14:13   know or songs I heard and I thought were [TS]

00:14:15   pretty cool and that's like a in a [TS]

00:14:16   totally different different categories [TS]

00:14:18   so it's a little a little from each is [TS]

00:14:20   sort of what I would make some my my [TS]

00:14:22   playlist [TS]

00:14:23   I don't even have a playlist how do you [TS]

00:14:25   know it's Christmas Bob Geldof would [TS]

00:14:27   like to know because there's no snow in [TS]

00:14:29   Africa money doesn't yet know as soon as [TS]

00:14:32   there's no snow in Africa you know it's [TS]

00:14:33   Christmas [TS]

00:14:34   mhm that make sense yeah I don't really [TS]

00:14:36   do anything that's all that Christmassy [TS]

00:14:38   we don't even really exchange gifts in [TS]

00:14:39   our family anymore we just sort of get [TS]

00:14:41   together and have dinner [TS]

00:14:42   haha wow not that i don't like it i I'd [TS]

00:14:45   enjoy the fact that people are excited [TS]

00:14:47   are you on this episode to do X us is [TS]

00:14:50   that what you're not have that turkey [TS]

00:14:53   that's as big as the boy she's a crypto [TS]

00:14:54   Christmas fascist a sleeper cell in the [TS]

00:14:57   war on Christmas this is the festivus [TS]

00:15:00   songs episode right I actually i only [TS]

00:15:03   found songs that I like they didn't come [TS]

00:15:05   up with anything i dislike so I mean I'm [TS]

00:15:07   definitely not not bah humbug and you [TS]

00:15:09   know it is guys i'm just lazy [TS]

00:15:11   christmas is work I'm with you on that [TS]

00:15:13   one [TS]

00:15:14   yeah so I don't wrap presents and I [TS]

00:15:15   don't I don't you know decorate anything [TS]

00:15:18   but i enjoy all the Christmas lights [TS]

00:15:20   that are all around but not other people [TS]

00:15:23   hit up [TS]

00:15:24   yeah you can tune to that radio station [TS]

00:15:26   yeah alright so it's so to answer your [TS]

00:15:28   question Jason which we kind of got away [TS]

00:15:30   from us and and i'm not going to go [TS]

00:15:32   through my whole list because then that [TS]

00:15:34   the draft forever [TS]

00:15:35   yes there's a draft and God knows we [TS]

00:15:37   don't want to draft so a few from the [TS]

00:15:40   the nostalgia category i'm a big fan of [TS]

00:15:44   holly jolly christmas which you already [TS]

00:15:45   brought up mainly because Burl Ives [TS]

00:15:48   voice is the sound of Christmas to me [TS]

00:15:50   he's got just an utterly magical voice [TS]

00:15:52   and is probably the closest we'll ever [TS]

00:15:54   come to having Santa Claus [TS]

00:15:56   yes a Christmas song i am no longer the [TS]

00:15:58   anti Steve because I completely go see [TS]

00:16:02   fill it fill their exchanges here it's [TS]

00:16:04   every yeah let's stay positive for now I [TS]

00:16:09   want to hear what Steve likes and we'll [TS]

00:16:10   go around and get Phil will probably [TS]

00:16:12   disagree with all my other ones too and [TS]

00:16:14   then we can Duke it out later okay no in [TS]

00:16:16   the heart of the holidays sure this one [TS]

00:16:18   a bit of a guilty pleasure i'm a fan of [TS]

00:16:21   the chipmunk song i was god dammit we [TS]

00:16:25   are doing the same wavelength here but [TS]

00:16:26   there's a specific reason for that [TS]

00:16:28   though and that is I remember one [TS]

00:16:29   Christmas as a lab we were dropped on [TS]

00:16:32   your head [TS]

00:16:33   waking pats haha there is that that's [TS]

00:16:36   okay see this will be great when they [TS]

00:16:37   read the angry letters about you on this [TS]

00:16:39   episode some compromise right that it [TS]

00:16:41   just being up at two in the morning not [TS]

00:16:43   being able to sleep and trying to find [TS]

00:16:44   something to do and that came on the [TS]

00:16:45   radio and just being so so happy and in [TS]

00:16:50   anticipation for what the morning would [TS]

00:16:52   bring and there was this goofy song with [TS]

00:16:54   the you know Alvin Simon and Theodore [TS]

00:16:56   and you know just made me really happy [TS]

00:16:59   and it still does [TS]

00:17:00   that's one of those ones that can bring [TS]

00:17:01   me back as candy barking dog version of [TS]

00:17:05   jingle we do not think i might be [TS]

00:17:08   trolling us [TS]

00:17:09   I can't wait to hear what songs you [TS]

00:17:10   don't like yeah it that it came on our [TS]

00:17:13   Lord how can you not like the barking [TS]

00:17:15   dogs doing jingle bells i have ears [TS]

00:17:17   yeah I don't love it as a song but i [TS]

00:17:20   love it as a as if you say the Porky Pig [TS]

00:17:22   version of blue christmas i am going to [TS]

00:17:24   read a study the microphone [TS]

00:17:26   ok let's see well let's let's will [TS]

00:17:31   happen if we go through the classics [TS]

00:17:34   here then and if there's a lot more [TS]

00:17:36   modern ones we can talk about those like [TS]

00:17:38   later because i don't want to just take [TS]

00:17:39   over the podcast alright with my awful [TS]

00:17:42   yeah not and then there are the classics [TS]

00:17:44   i will bring up the classics as well and [TS]

00:17:47   mainly for me the the classic Christmas [TS]

00:17:49   songs that really really work are the [TS]

00:17:51   two nights [TS]

00:17:52   oh holy night and Silent Night both of [TS]

00:17:55   which are just just have such a [TS]

00:17:56   beautiful kind of sad sounding melody [TS]

00:17:59   and you know i've been i've been an [TS]

00:18:03   awful atheist for my entire life but for [TS]

00:18:05   some reason those songs both kind [TS]

00:18:08   choked me up a little bit because a [TS]

00:18:10   hinge hinge on the interpretations [TS]

00:18:12   heavily on the singer [TS]

00:18:14   yeah that's true so that's an especially [TS]

00:18:16   oh holy night that is extremely you were [TS]

00:18:18   absolutely right there but when done [TS]

00:18:20   properly both of those songs can make [TS]

00:18:23   this non-believer feel almost moved [TS]

00:18:25   which is what you're referring to share [TS]

00:18:27   their i am referring to share also [TS]

00:18:30   Mariah Carey does a version of a holy [TS]

00:18:32   night which she seems well enough but [TS]

00:18:33   it's it's basically we'll listen to my [TS]

00:18:36   my multi octave range and despair [TS]

00:18:39   humanity loud is the new girl yeah it's [TS]

00:18:43   it's it's really quite quite a bombastic [TS]

00:18:48   whereas you know silent night that's it [TS]

00:18:50   that's a high particularly enjoy the [TS]

00:18:52   Dinah Washington version i like the [TS]

00:18:53   Mahalia Jackson one [TS]

00:18:55   well beautiful David you have some [TS]

00:18:56   favorites oh god yes I mean I always [TS]

00:19:00   loved Christmas music because I grew up [TS]

00:19:02   with you know my mother was a choir [TS]

00:19:04   director church so every year yet all [TS]

00:19:07   the classic hymns and you know trying to [TS]

00:19:10   figure out what modern stuff you might [TS]

00:19:13   work in there and so I mean I'll just [TS]

00:19:16   assume all the traditional Christmas [TS]

00:19:18   carols [TS]

00:19:19   but then the more I got into theater and [TS]

00:19:22   doing sound design and theater and every [TS]

00:19:24   year you have a Christmas show of some [TS]

00:19:26   sort so i just i would gather more and [TS]

00:19:28   more christmas music and find all kinds [TS]

00:19:30   of cool stuff and so I mean Vince [TS]

00:19:34   obviously the diet diana krall christmas [TS]

00:19:37   album became a perennial as soon as that [TS]

00:19:40   came out like the whole family just like [TS]

00:19:42   who i like that and you know when when [TS]

00:19:46   you have a three-year-old going play the [TS]

00:19:48   jazz album play the jazz I'm okay you [TS]

00:19:51   got it and i love the new england [TS]

00:19:54   Christmastide collections which are [TS]

00:19:56   classic Christmas carols played on [TS]

00:20:00   antique instruments and authentic [TS]

00:20:02   instruments from the period when the [TS]

00:20:04   songs are written which is kinda cool [TS]

00:20:06   and a couple years ago we did a show [TS]

00:20:09   where I just decided to to use the Blind [TS]

00:20:13   Boys of Alabama as the music had nothing [TS]

00:20:16   to do with the story had nothing to do [TS]

00:20:18   with the setting but it was like this is [TS]

00:20:21   fantastic these people need to hear it [TS]

00:20:23   and actually the the owner of the venue [TS]

00:20:25   where we performed after the show she [TS]

00:20:27   came up to me and said I respect a man [TS]

00:20:30   who knows exactly how to use the blind [TS]

00:20:32   boys [TS]

00:20:32   oh cool see their their album go tell it [TS]

00:20:37   on the mountain is just fantastic and [TS]

00:20:42   then the the one odd one that I love pdq [TS]

00:20:49   bach has a concert of Christmas carols [TS]

00:20:53   which are three songs good king kong [TS]

00:20:58   looked out a little town of Hackensack [TS]

00:21:01   and my personal favorite throw the you [TS]

00:21:05   logo on Uncle John I actually quite like [TS]

00:21:08   a lot of those sort of they're not [TS]

00:21:11   classics but they're not particularly [TS]

00:21:13   new song sort of the the middle era that [TS]

00:21:17   Johnny Marx wrote a ton of Christmas [TS]

00:21:20   songs he was Jewish but apparently he [TS]

00:21:23   specialized in christmas songs [TS]

00:21:24   go figure Irving Berlin like Neil [TS]

00:21:27   Diamond yeah he wasn't busy on December [TS]

00:21:29   25th so he did a lot of songwriting that [TS]

00:21:31   I don't love Jingle Bell Rock it's just [TS]

00:21:34   one that i am ok with but stuff like [TS]

00:21:37   rockin around the Christmas tree that [TS]

00:21:39   that was Johnny mark song he also wrote [TS]

00:21:42   Rudolph the red-nosed reindeer which is [TS]

00:21:43   fine and weirdly enough to run Rudolph [TS]

00:21:47   run which chuck berry recorded which is [TS]

00:21:49   not one of my favorite songs but I those [TS]

00:21:51   are the kind of radio christmas songs [TS]

00:21:53   that I'm a more ok with then some of the [TS]

00:21:56   more obnoxious papi [TS]

00:21:57   mariah carey style ones but but what I [TS]

00:22:00   really like is bands that I like writing [TS]

00:22:03   christmas songs because so often they [TS]

00:22:06   are not in any way [TS]

00:22:08   traditionally Christmassy or not even [TS]

00:22:11   necessarily happy i mentioned earlier a [TS]

00:22:12   couple of of Wheezer songs they have to [TS]

00:22:17   christmas songs one is called the [TS]

00:22:18   Christmas song and one is called [TS]

00:22:20   Christmas [TS]

00:22:20   celebration and they are both incredibly [TS]

00:22:22   depressing which is something you might [TS]

00:22:24   expect if you know how rivers cuomo [TS]

00:22:26   works when he's writing songs but the [TS]

00:22:28   the Christmas song is about a fellow who [TS]

00:22:32   is waiting for a girl [TS]

00:22:33   uh who didn't show up even though she [TS]

00:22:35   said she was going to like one of the [TS]

00:22:36   main lines of the song is here i sit [TS]

00:22:38   waiting beside the tree all by myself [TS]

00:22:40   like that's my kind of christmas huh [TS]

00:22:42   depressing and christmas celebration is [TS]

00:22:45   just kind of about how annoying [TS]

00:22:47   Christmas can be and it refers to Santa [TS]

00:22:49   is that man is so because he can't get [TS]

00:22:51   out the door it's just it's just not [TS]

00:22:54   nice but but i do like some of the [TS]

00:22:55   happier type of those songs as well [TS]

00:22:58   fountains of wayne has a song called i [TS]

00:23:00   want an alien for Christmas you know [TS]

00:23:01   which is just it's just upbeat and fun [TS]

00:23:05   and it's the the narrator of the song is [TS]

00:23:08   basically asking for an alien the way a [TS]

00:23:09   little kid would be asking for a puppy [TS]

00:23:11   written for Hanson and never recorded by [TS]

00:23:14   boy band Hanson so they record that [TS]

00:23:16   themselves which is why it's very [TS]

00:23:18   kid-like you know and it's just it's [TS]

00:23:21   charming and delightful and wonderful I [TS]

00:23:24   I like a few of the classic Christmas [TS]

00:23:26   carols as well like for some reason up [TS]

00:23:28   on the housetop was always my favorite [TS]

00:23:30   song to sing one else who's an [TS]

00:23:31   elementary school my mom was an [TS]

00:23:33   elementary school music teacher so [TS]

00:23:35   occasionally we would get her to play [TS]

00:23:36   the piano and we can have little [TS]

00:23:37   sing-alongs in the basement but my dad [TS]

00:23:40   really hated Christmas carols so for the [TS]

00:23:43   most part we didn't listen to them in [TS]

00:23:44   the house a whole lot but we did get to [TS]

00:23:46   hear the Nutcracker Suite over and over [TS]

00:23:48   again because my mom loved that my dad [TS]

00:23:49   was fine with classical music so that to [TS]

00:23:52   meet the nutcrackers is the sound of [TS]

00:23:54   christmas i'll have no up on the rooftop [TS]

00:23:57   in this household young lady [TS]

00:23:58   click click click new carolers taken [TS]

00:24:02   outside if you like stand out in the [TS]

00:24:05   yard and bring the boombox hearing it [TS]

00:24:08   right it will get no figgy pudding out [TS]

00:24:10   of me [TS]

00:24:10   I think that's actually how caroling [TS]

00:24:13   started as somebody said I don't want to [TS]

00:24:14   hear that stuff go outside walk around [TS]

00:24:16   and take into the diverse yeah maybe [TS]

00:24:18   they'll like it but actually my favorite [TS]

00:24:21   Christmas song r is from mystery science [TS]

00:24:24   3000 it is a patrick swayze Christmas I [TS]

00:24:27   know Jason mentioned when he was not [TS]

00:24:29   talking about santa claus conquers the [TS]

00:24:31   options that was that was actually a [TS]

00:24:33   sing-along [TS]

00:24:34   my household for a few years I i was i [TS]

00:24:36   was a member of the fan club back in the [TS]

00:24:39   day I sent my money off the best brains [TS]

00:24:40   and in return [TS]

00:24:42   one of the perks i got was a videotape [TS]

00:24:44   with a plain white cover that was called [TS]

00:24:48   play misty for me and had a bunch of the [TS]

00:24:50   songs collected and I think that's the [TS]

00:24:51   only VHS tape that I saved when i move [TS]

00:24:54   that the only 1i still in the early days [TS]

00:24:56   of mystery science theater fandom I was [TS]

00:24:57   the first person to transcribe that for [TS]

00:24:59   all TV mst3k wow wow [TS]

00:25:03   most of the day's Monty what do you have [TS]

00:25:06   as favourites up [TS]

00:25:08   I like a mixture of what I'm going to [TS]

00:25:11   call classic Christmas songs like I [TS]

00:25:14   think all of the johnny mathis andy [TS]

00:25:17   williams or Dean Martin songs i have our [TS]

00:25:20   christmas songs like I can I can get [TS]

00:25:24   behind Tony Bennett saying singing [TS]

00:25:26   winter wonderland I'm pleased by that [TS]

00:25:28   yeah I don't want an actual winter [TS]

00:25:30   wonderland of snow is weird and foreign [TS]

00:25:32   to me but somebody else claiming to [TS]

00:25:35   enjoy i like and i also for some reason [TS]

00:25:39   really like kind of alternate funky [TS]

00:25:42   christmas songs [TS]

00:25:44   there's this one song the Christians and [TS]

00:25:46   the pagans by dr. Williams that is a [TS]

00:25:50   really good i think explanation of why [TS]

00:25:55   christmas is nice although it's also [TS]

00:25:57   explanation of why winter solstice is [TS]

00:25:59   nice and it's just about families [TS]

00:26:02   getting together and it makes me feel [TS]

00:26:04   warm and cozy nice but yeah I like [TS]

00:26:07   myself some Tony Bennett Randy Williams [TS]

00:26:09   just in this part of the year [TS]

00:26:11   yeah I've got many artists that are [TS]

00:26:12   those classic artists that I don't have [TS]

00:26:14   a lot of music of but I've got their [TS]

00:26:16   christmas stuff and I and I like it yeah [TS]

00:26:18   there's something about it's it's it's [TS]

00:26:19   good and and comforting in some way [TS]

00:26:23   nobody's mentioned to get so i will say [TS]

00:26:24   that fairytale of new york by the Pogues [TS]

00:26:26   with chemistry and online listen to talk [TS]

00:26:28   about hi there are nearly enough there's [TS]

00:26:30   the songs containing the phrase you're [TS]

00:26:32   an old slut on junk [TS]

00:26:37   I first heard that song like only like [TS]

00:26:39   four years ago or something I'd never [TS]

00:26:40   heard it before and Andy anarcho [TS]

00:26:42   actually because he done his website he [TS]

00:26:44   does his musical advent calendar every [TS]

00:26:47   year and I and that's a great song it's [TS]

00:26:50   like it's like you're taking a a journey [TS]

00:26:52   it's like a whole story that happens in [TS]

00:26:54   that song yeah it's pretty awful story [TS]

00:26:56   to that way it is but it's amazing [TS]

00:26:58   starts out in the drunk tank with the [TS]

00:27:00   guy dying next to him on the floor I saw [TS]

00:27:02   shane macgowan live a few years ago and [TS]

00:27:05   i could not make out a single word he [TS]

00:27:07   said yeah so it's free to pretend he was [TS]

00:27:09   doing all my favorite poems songs and [TS]

00:27:13   for some reason i noticed a lot of the [TS]

00:27:15   Christmas songs i have on my list aren't [TS]

00:27:17   actually about Christmas like let it [TS]

00:27:21   snow let it snow let it snow [TS]

00:27:22   no just regular thing yeah it takes [TS]

00:27:24   place during winter same for winter [TS]

00:27:27   wonderland for Frosty the Snowman well [TS]

00:27:30   there's that divide there's the [TS]

00:27:31   traditional religious you know and a him [TS]

00:27:34   based music and then there's the secular [TS]

00:27:36   holiday Winter Festival music and [TS]

00:27:39   they've all kind of push together in the [TS]

00:27:41   popular culture but they're definitely [TS]

00:27:42   two different genres and I and you know [TS]

00:27:44   you listen to the lyrics and if they're [TS]

00:27:48   very basically about a messiah then [TS]

00:27:51   perhaps there in the one camp and get [TS]

00:27:53   the half [TS]

00:27:54   have yourself a merry winter solstice [TS]

00:27:57   yeah I feel like there's three [TS]

00:27:59   categories there's this straight Jesus [TS]

00:28:00   type like do you hear what i hear or [TS]

00:28:02   silent knight riders Santa based [TS]

00:28:05   Christmas like say there's just been [TS]

00:28:08   going here its class Santa based [TS]

00:28:09   Christmas you're right you're also [TS]

00:28:11   you're also forgetting the Commerce the [TS]

00:28:13   Commerce bass songs like silver bills [TS]

00:28:15   and and and legal business look a lot [TS]

00:28:19   like Christmas yeah but I i agree with [TS]

00:28:22   Marty's basic do it [TS]

00:28:24   delineation of the the Christmas tax on [TS]

00:28:27   his Christmas yes right yes I'm glad we [TS]

00:28:29   structured Christmas so well Lisa what [TS]

00:28:32   about you what are the ones that work [TS]

00:28:33   for you what kind of stuff do you like [TS]

00:28:35   unfortunately film I don't have very [TS]

00:28:37   similar tastes in Christmas music [TS]

00:28:39   unfortunately I asked you first so you [TS]

00:28:40   gotta just great [TS]

00:28:42   yeah i should mention my dad was in the [TS]

00:28:47   mind my dad was basically that the Big [TS]

00:28:49   Ten ordeal in our church choirs growing [TS]

00:28:51   up and my brother always played in [TS]

00:28:53   Orchestra and band and jazz ensemble [TS]

00:28:57   know that so we grew up listening to a [TS]

00:28:59   lot of um orchestral arrangements and I [TS]

00:29:02   could probably come you the entire [TS]

00:29:04   Nutcracker Suite in my sleep but i still [TS]

00:29:07   really enjoy it and I enjoy the modern [TS]

00:29:09   mandolin quartets interpretation of the [TS]

00:29:11   Nutcracker Suite it's just this very [TS]

00:29:13   light very pleasant very sprightly take [TS]

00:29:17   its not excessively saccharine it [TS]

00:29:19   doesn't get all all-russian bombastic [TS]

00:29:20   it's it in its light and bright and [TS]

00:29:23   something that i can safely play in in [TS]

00:29:26   you know mixed create audiences as it [TS]

00:29:27   were and to me that's the quintessential [TS]

00:29:29   Christmas soundtrack some of the other [TS]

00:29:32   songs on my list i consider under [TS]

00:29:34   African skies by Paul Simon to almost be [TS]

00:29:36   a christmas carol or just because it's [TS]

00:29:39   got the beautiful verses about you know [TS]

00:29:40   Joseph Joseph and Mary usually christmas [TS]

00:29:43   songs about Africa idea that category [TS]

00:29:48   all ladysmith black mambazo um Jane [TS]

00:29:53   summaries got a beautiful song called [TS]

00:29:54   calling all angels that I like to play [TS]

00:29:57   around this time of the year for the [TS]

00:29:58   same reason [TS]

00:29:59   um it's just this really pretty i'm and [TS]

00:30:02   I've always played kind of tandem with [TS]

00:30:04   what are your friend nearby Dan Wilson [TS]

00:30:05   cause those arms or are about taking [TS]

00:30:08   stock of of your life is that as the as [TS]

00:30:10   the planet turns and we when we reset [TS]

00:30:13   the calendar neil finn has sweet secret [TS]

00:30:15   piece which i think is beautiful [TS]

00:30:17   I like to listen to that one too i love [TS]

00:30:19   nancy wilson version of what are you [TS]

00:30:21   doing New Year's Day like seven years [TS]

00:30:23   eve and this year i downloaded Curt [TS]

00:30:28   Smith formerly of Tears for Fears or [TS]

00:30:30   perhaps still of two structures I don't [TS]

00:30:31   keep up with them but he just called [TS]

00:30:33   this is Christmas that I i I've really [TS]

00:30:34   been enjoying to and for my daughter [TS]

00:30:39   there's an artist like listen to [TS]

00:30:40   elizabeth mitchell who has just released [TS]

00:30:43   a collection of old American folk carols [TS]

00:30:48   and there's like twenty four of them and [TS]

00:30:50   it'sit's just against very gentle very [TS]

00:30:52   focused very low key and that [TS]

00:30:54   that's some traditional ones like lo how [TS]

00:30:56   a rose e'er blooming Mary was the queen [TS]

00:30:58   of Galilee and children go where I send [TS]

00:31:01   the withdrawal classics that I like and [TS]

00:31:04   then I've got a couple there so they [TS]

00:31:05   hadn't heard of before but I've been [TS]

00:31:07   enjoying that album too so it's in other [TS]

00:31:10   words is pretty much the opposite of [TS]

00:31:11   what Phyllis all right Phil it's your [TS]

00:31:14   different levels of us have it in LIC [TS]

00:31:17   it's cranky uncle bastard's turn well [TS]

00:31:19   well let me tell you your children you [TS]

00:31:22   would not believe the negotiations we [TS]

00:31:24   have to go through when we when we try [TS]

00:31:26   to listen to music if it's alternating [TS]

00:31:28   it's well I'll play to type here and [TS]

00:31:31   he'll come unless the the the Christmas [TS]

00:31:34   songs I kind of dig that no youyou can't [TS]

00:31:38   necessarily play in mixed company [TS]

00:31:40   I like father Christmas by the kinks [TS]

00:31:43   oh yeah that's which is a wonderful song [TS]

00:31:46   about privation at the holidays and [TS]

00:31:48   robbery and robbery yes thank you money [TS]

00:31:51   I like i won't be home for christmas by [TS]

00:31:54   blink-182 which is a peppy little song [TS]

00:31:57   in which are our hero is thrown into the [TS]

00:31:59   clinic for for christmas i hate to see [TS]

00:32:03   Christmas come around by jimmy [TS]

00:32:05   witherspoon which is a nice little blues [TS]

00:32:07   song about oh I he's got troubles jimmy [TS]

00:32:10   witherspoon and you know it's that's [TS]

00:32:14   very enjoyable but I i also like songs [TS]

00:32:16   that don't make you want to open a vein [TS]

00:32:18   so I like mele kalikimaka chris isaak [TS]

00:32:22   version is quite quite Pepe and [TS]

00:32:24   delightful i mentioned Dinah Washington [TS]

00:32:28   silent night [TS]

00:32:30   it's not really a Christmas song at all [TS]

00:32:32   but hepcats holiday by cat and the [TS]

00:32:34   fiddle is is just it a delightful little [TS]

00:32:37   tune and that that gets me in the [TS]

00:32:39   holiday spirit [TS]

00:32:40   I won't say which holiday i like the [TS]

00:32:44   barenaked ladies Sarah McLaughlin not a [TS]

00:32:46   jam on God rest ye merry I like that one [TS]

00:32:48   too a lot [TS]

00:32:49   well there you go see we do like things [TS]

00:32:51   this is true like the whole it's a [TS]

00:32:54   Christmas year [TS]

00:32:55   we don't like that you were the one who [TS]

00:32:58   originally suggested that we actually [TS]

00:32:59   bring a whole bag full of an appropriate [TS]

00:33:01   instruments [TS]

00:33:02   I've met inappropriate instruments not a [TS]

00:33:04   jingle bell yeah i was gonna bring in [TS]

00:33:05   Morocco's in and a mouth harp [TS]

00:33:08   where's my open horn and today uh you [TS]

00:33:14   know please come home from christmas by [TS]

00:33:15   uh dad I think Charles Brown does the [TS]

00:33:19   version like bring that Cadillac back oh [TS]

00:33:22   this is back in the saddle christmas [TS]

00:33:24   songs by the dock back the orchestra [TS]

00:33:26   little woman you've done wrong me so [TS]

00:33:28   give me back that Cadillac I gave you is [TS]

00:33:31   basically the theme of that song sort of [TS]

00:33:34   us equal to santa baby [TS]

00:33:36   yes units if it's like it's like the the [TS]

00:33:40   bitter echo of santa baby quite right [TS]

00:33:42   Steve thank you and I like you're all i [TS]

00:33:46   want for for christmas by the [TS]

00:33:47   persuasions that's a really nice offer i [TS]

00:33:50   love it every time you play free makes [TS]

00:33:52   me happy so there there are those of the [TS]

00:33:56   proper Christmas songs to listen to you [TS]

00:33:58   didn't celebrate Christmas the Philip [TS]

00:34:00   Mike so noted so notice a fistful of [TS]

00:34:04   bourbon and a heart full of hate is ever [TS]

00:34:07   too yes you you know you want an album [TS]

00:34:09   called Christmas the film Michaels way i [TS]

00:34:11   do or cranky uncle bastard it could also [TS]

00:34:13   become our fist full of bourbon in there [TS]

00:34:15   and listen to that I've got a few that i [TS]

00:34:18   wanted to mention so I i have Frank [TS]

00:34:21   Sinatra's christmas album with with that [TS]

00:34:25   Frank Sinatra swing and christmas is [TS]

00:34:27   that it would be produced a lot of [TS]

00:34:32   christmas albums I i like to envision [TS]

00:34:33   Sinatra would walk into the studio and [TS]

00:34:36   like where we're doing this in one take [TS]

00:34:38   baby boom I've got a girl back in the [TS]

00:34:41   hotel room and storms out and so yeah he [TS]

00:34:44   got attacked the highlight come on i [TS]

00:34:46   have a jolly christmas from Frank [TS]

00:34:48   Sinatra which is is a couple of the [TS]

00:34:51   tracks are really great and are cure [TS]

00:34:54   Frank Sinatra voice & Christmas music [TS]

00:34:56   and it's just magic and then there are [TS]

00:34:59   the the ones where it's very much like [TS]

00:35:01   the producers like oh I don't know at [TS]

00:35:04   and it's totally laden with backup [TS]

00:35:07   singers [TS]

00:35:08   everything that's a sign of something [TS]

00:35:10   terrible right that is everything that [TS]

00:35:11   is every Sinatra christmas album because [TS]

00:35:13   i have a Christmas with Sinatra i think [TS]

00:35:15   it is and it's a lot of his early stuff [TS]

00:35:17   but it that their sons that the sominex [TS]

00:35:20   backup singers join about we're gonna [TS]

00:35:22   squirt anything it is quite dreadful you [TS]

00:35:24   really want to cover up Frank's voice oh [TS]

00:35:26   yeah especially is his early voice when [TS]

00:35:29   he could still saying and there's a [TS]

00:35:30   version there's a there's a cut on the [TS]

00:35:32   album that i have where it's Frank [TS]

00:35:33   Sinatra sings you the lord's prayer [TS]

00:35:35   which really does not school just not [TS]

00:35:38   forever regardless of what you think of [TS]

00:35:40   the Lord's Prayer and and i'm in favor [TS]

00:35:42   of it generally listeners but I not [TS]

00:35:46   really not really deserves that [TS]

00:35:48   no it is it is my uncle actually saying [TS]

00:35:50   the Lord he's an opera singer sing the [TS]

00:35:51   Lord's Prayer at a couple of funerals [TS]

00:35:53   and made me cry so I'll ok good it works [TS]

00:35:56   well your uncle is better than Frank [TS]

00:35:58   Sinatra's and Frank Sinatra doing is one [TS]

00:36:01   take and then storming out of the studio [TS]

00:36:02   to go Neal the gardener yeah yeah so [TS]

00:36:07   anyway that Frank Sinatra you take it [TS]

00:36:09   you take the rough you take the i [TS]

00:36:10   actually enjoy doing the shuffle that [TS]

00:36:12   includes the entire album because you [TS]

00:36:14   you'll get it you'll be like a Frank and [TS]

00:36:15   then a couple tracks later like 1000 [TS]

00:36:19   break no don't do it [TS]

00:36:21   so there's that I nat king cole's [TS]

00:36:23   christmas album I mean obviously you're [TS]

00:36:25   there for chestnuts roasting on an open [TS]

00:36:27   fire the Christmas song which is a [TS]

00:36:29   classic and that's one of those that [TS]

00:36:30   hits me you know right right in the [TS]

00:36:33   heart that's just that that that's [TS]

00:36:35   that's the sound of Christmas for me but [TS]

00:36:37   there's some other nice stuff on there [TS]

00:36:38   and that again is a nice traditional [TS]

00:36:40   christmas album lots of Chris lots of a [TS]

00:36:41   traditional songs and I like that one a [TS]

00:36:45   lot i'm not going to- yet so I'm not [TS]

00:36:48   going to mention that thing with several [TS]

00:36:49   some some songs that I like uh Eric [TS]

00:36:52   already mentioned fountains of wayne but [TS]

00:36:53   i really liked your song the man in the [TS]

00:36:54   Santa suit which is about a sweaty [TS]

00:36:56   backup Santa who was called into action [TS]

00:36:58   with because the first Santa has has a [TS]

00:37:01   gotten sick that's really enjoyable the [TS]

00:37:04   life of our department store Santa I i [TS]

00:37:09   enjoy Guster's carol of the meows which [TS]

00:37:12   in many ways be modern updated version [TS]

00:37:14   of the barking dogs [TS]

00:37:16   well then it's alright with me yeah [TS]

00:37:18   which is the carol of the bells except [TS]

00:37:20   with the young like cats [TS]

00:37:22   no son by men who are singing like I am [TS]

00:37:24   in my own the story the story's me I'm [TS]

00:37:27   yeah [TS]

00:37:28   history is that all rock are a kind of [TS]

00:37:30   all folk band cut Guster when they were [TS]

00:37:32   releasing one of their albums in the [TS]

00:37:34   heyday of Napster they released a [TS]

00:37:35   version of on the internet properly [TS]

00:37:37   labeled but what they did was they [TS]

00:37:38   replaced all the vocals on it with them [TS]

00:37:41   just now saying instead of the lyrics [TS]

00:37:43   and uh and it became actually kind of a [TS]

00:37:47   cult hit was later released as a meow [TS]

00:37:50   only album on itunes anyway they did [TS]

00:37:52   they [TS]

00:37:53   carol of the bells version with just [TS]

00:37:55   meows and it's actually delightful i [TS]

00:37:57   enjoy spinal taps Christmas with a devil [TS]

00:38:00   far more than I should and you know [TS]

00:38:04   that's there's nothing there's nothing [TS]

00:38:05   wrong with that [TS]

00:38:06   there'll be no father christmas because [TS]

00:38:08   its evils holiday that's you got it and [TS]

00:38:11   I feel so bad about Uncle John yeah [TS]

00:38:13   exactly [TS]

00:38:14   I i really enjoy uh a song called i hear [TS]

00:38:17   the bells by Mike Doty that is a kind of [TS]

00:38:19   fun christmas christmas song that i [TS]

00:38:21   really like I insist the bells are [TS]

00:38:24   ringing by they might be giants as a [TS]

00:38:25   christmas song even though other people [TS]

00:38:27   like Lex Friedman disagree i find a very [TS]

00:38:29   Christmasy and a and a condemnation of [TS]

00:38:32   Christmas commercialism and I i bought [TS]

00:38:35   John jonathan coulton John Roderick's [TS]

00:38:37   christmas album last year and I thought [TS]

00:38:38   it was a you know it's the batting [TS]

00:38:40   averages about half really good songs [TS]

00:38:43   and half kind of their songs but the [TS]

00:38:45   good ones are great including a [TS]

00:38:46   fantastic song called 2600 which is [TS]

00:38:49   entirely about me because it is about a [TS]

00:38:52   kid demanding only one thing for [TS]

00:38:53   Christmas and that's an atari 2600 so [TS]

00:38:56   those those songs that I like a lot [TS]

00:38:59   the day you go you all refused to adhere [TS]

00:39:02   to my totally arbitrary way of [TS]

00:39:04   partitioning out the podcast i now have [TS]

00:39:06   to sneak in later with more modern [TS]

00:39:08   sounds before although i forgot to [TS]

00:39:10   mention one that I like four as a kid [TS]

00:39:12   which is a John Denver and the muppets [TS]

00:39:15   doing oh yes is coming [TS]

00:39:16   yes it's a good song around with Miss [TS]

00:39:19   Piggy scooter and gonzo over this bouncy [TS]

00:39:21   little Caribbean rhythm some other that [TS]

00:39:24   it's a very good album some of the cuts [TS]

00:39:26   don't hold up so well and after the [TS]

00:39:28   years but that one is a that sensational [TS]

00:39:30   you know the song about screw [TS]

00:39:31   from up and christmas carol is very good [TS]

00:39:33   although I don't really think that's a [TS]

00:39:35   Christmas song i guess i should because [TS]

00:39:37   it's about screwed though I was always a [TS]

00:39:38   little disappointed they never did a [TS]

00:39:40   rendition of please daddy don't get [TS]

00:39:41   drunk this christmas it but I like [TS]

00:39:45   christmas is coming a lot and I don't [TS]

00:39:47   think Phil had heard that song untill [TS]

00:39:48   you married me [TS]

00:39:49   no I hadn't known i've grown I've [TS]

00:39:50   actually grown i used to not like it and [TS]

00:39:52   now I did kind of do [TS]

00:39:53   yeah what's all my god my father please [TS]

00:39:55   daddy don't get drunk this christmas is [TS]

00:39:57   as now I kinda like that what i love [TS]

00:39:59   about that song is the children's course [TS]

00:40:00   that kicks in at the fine anytime you [TS]

00:40:02   bring in children's chorus into the song [TS]

00:40:04   with potential for to go horribly wrong [TS]

00:40:05   is is just trembling on the precipice [TS]

00:40:07   but but everyone's well it's deployed to [TS]

00:40:09   great effect you know the thing with [TS]

00:40:10   please daddy don't get drunk this [TS]

00:40:12   christmas i don't know what the big deal [TS]

00:40:13   is I mean daddy gets drunk and mama [TS]

00:40:16   cries but he really doesn't do much [TS]

00:40:17   other than role in late knock over the [TS]

00:40:20   Christmas tree that maybe bar finish [TS]

00:40:22   stocking and pass out under the tree but [TS]

00:40:23   he heard no one let him be no no he [TS]

00:40:25   knocks over the tree Steve pay attention [TS]

00:40:27   to the lyrics he Christmas trees fall [TS]

00:40:28   over pretty easily mine fell over twice [TS]

00:40:31   follows putting it up and how much were [TS]

00:40:32   you drinking not okay come on [TS]

00:40:35   I think Steve's point is he's not an [TS]

00:40:37   angry drunk is kind of a is kind of a [TS]

00:40:39   light-hearted cordial trancas might be [TS]

00:40:41   invited on podcast it's probably better [TS]

00:40:44   that he gets drunk this christmas i'm [TS]

00:40:45   just thinking maybe mom is overreacting [TS]

00:40:47   just a little the others are some actual [TS]

00:40:50   modern stuff that I was gonna mention i [TS]

00:40:53   really like this tune by gorky's zygotic [TS]

00:40:54   monkey to Welsh band songs called [TS]

00:40:57   Christmas Eve and it's just the world's [TS]

00:41:00   prettiest little acoustic guitar melody [TS]

00:41:02   and and then at the very end they come [TS]

00:41:05   in with this sort of angelic sounding [TS]

00:41:06   vocal and all these things is the star [TS]

00:41:08   you fell in love to comes out on [TS]

00:41:10   Christmas Eve and and it just somehow [TS]

00:41:12   perfectly evokes standing out under the [TS]

00:41:14   stars in a snowy field with your with [TS]

00:41:16   your true love on christmas evensen just [TS]

00:41:18   a nice little song I've I enjoy a song [TS]

00:41:23   by Elvis called feliz navidad ax which [TS]

00:41:27   is a mash-up of Feliz Navidad which I I [TS]

00:41:30   think he just cannot be cheered up by [TS]

00:41:32   Feliz Navidad I'd and public image which [TS]

00:41:36   bizarrely works perfectly with Feliz [TS]

00:41:38   Navidad [TS]

00:41:39   so that's a good little tune I also a [TS]

00:41:43   big fan [TS]

00:41:44   of thanks for Christmas by i think they [TS]

00:41:47   call themselves the wise men but it's [TS]

00:41:48   actually just XTC which is just a [TS]

00:41:52   perfect pop christmas song it's got this [TS]

00:41:53   wonderfully be totally piece of music [TS]

00:41:55   that would've been a great too and even [TS]

00:41:56   without the Christmas elements but then [TS]

00:41:58   they also throw in that the bells and [TS]

00:42:00   the harp and this totally cheesy lyric [TS]

00:42:02   that nonetheless sounds kind of [TS]

00:42:03   heartfelt so I'm big fan of that one [TS]

00:42:05   and lastly i think i have to mention Bob [TS]

00:42:09   and Doug McKenzie doing the twelve days [TS]

00:42:10   of Christmas and beer beauty on the [TS]

00:42:13   first day of Christmas my true love gave [TS]

00:42:14   to me beer here in a 35 golden 264 [TS]

00:42:20   pounds back bacon three french toasts I [TS]

00:42:23   like that version because they speed the [TS]

00:42:24   song up penis [TS]

00:42:26   yeah they just gave up after like eight [TS]

00:42:27   I get pretty impatient with parodies of [TS]

00:42:29   twelve days of Christmas because it just [TS]

00:42:32   takes so long to get to each new line [TS]

00:42:34   towards the end of the song they get [TS]

00:42:35   today seven and I think they just jump [TS]

00:42:37   straight to welcome to day 12 i did [TS]

00:42:42   remember to other things [TS]

00:42:44   Duke Ellington has a fantastic [TS]

00:42:45   Nutcracker and his musics not bad either [TS]

00:42:51   but seriously no it's it's a wonderful [TS]

00:42:57   set of the Nutcracker and the Bob's too [TS]

00:43:02   many Santas is just a lovely album move [TS]

00:43:04   very silly songs including they have one [TS]

00:43:08   with jonathan katz as a guest vocalist [TS]

00:43:11   called Santa's got a brand new bag that [TS]

00:43:14   is [TS]

00:43:15   again just delightful alright attention [TS]

00:43:19   listeners this ends the part of the show [TS]

00:43:21   where we're positive about christmas [TS]

00:43:23   music if you don't want us to ruin your [TS]

00:43:25   happy feelings for warm fuzzy feelings [TS]

00:43:28   about the holiday season by tearing [TS]

00:43:30   apart some beloved holiday music you [TS]

00:43:34   should stop listening now consider this [TS]

00:43:36   the end of the show thanks for listening [TS]

00:43:38   happy holidays we love everything see [TS]

00:43:40   you next week [TS]

00:43:47   okay we've reversed the streams and now [TS]

00:43:50   we're going to talk about things that [TS]

00:43:51   are awful [TS]

00:43:52   thanks for sticking with us again if you [TS]

00:43:54   are a super positive person who doesn't [TS]

00:43:56   like anybody saying anything negative [TS]

00:43:58   about anything [TS]

00:43:59   abandon all hope can we get negative now [TS]

00:44:03   Steve oh yes weekend I'd like believe we [TS]

00:44:05   can do this in many ways is like a [TS]

00:44:07   Christmas gathering where everyone tries [TS]

00:44:09   to be nice for the first hour and then [TS]

00:44:11   sends and then everything goes to hell [TS]

00:44:14   that's right all right let's get [TS]

00:44:16   negative can I can I just posit at and I [TS]

00:44:19   realize this may be going out on a limb [TS]

00:44:20   but that that in Christmas it's a [TS]

00:44:22   marshmallow world is the worst Christmas [TS]

00:44:24   song ever written [TS]

00:44:26   I'll never heard of that no tell you [TS]

00:44:27   head-butted is quite bad [TS]

00:44:29   this is this is I'd never really heard [TS]

00:44:31   it before and then I was listening to my [TS]

00:44:33   my television provider also has you know [TS]

00:44:36   digital music channels and we had a tune [TS]

00:44:39   to the Christmas channel at course as [TS]

00:44:41   you do and this is a few years ago it's [TS]

00:44:43   like five or ten years ago and and the [TS]

00:44:46   song came on and and I i was [TS]

00:44:49   increasingly horrified the Dean Martin [TS]

00:44:50   version i'm thinking of is the laziest [TS]

00:44:53   Sallust most pathetic set of lyrics it's [TS]

00:44:57   it's yeah to to continue the Sinatra [TS]

00:45:01   metaphor where he storms into the studio [TS]

00:45:03   does one take and storms out Dean Martin [TS]

00:45:05   started staggers into the studio set a [TS]

00:45:07   pattern let's sing a song now and then [TS]

00:45:09   he does the the song and does this one [TS]

00:45:11   taken i was that there was a great okay [TS]

00:45:13   i'm at her ear and so the way I'm going [TS]

00:45:16   to well Frank nearly regard [TS]

00:45:18   yeah so marshmallow world christmas that [TS]

00:45:25   is that is Dean Martin at his Dean [TS]

00:45:27   Martin yeast yeah it's not a fan I think [TS]

00:45:29   that went bad that that actually is the [TS]

00:45:31   thing that I have the most impatient for [TS]

00:45:33   uh other other than yes the pop star pop [TS]

00:45:40   album where they take some song that had [TS]

00:45:43   some sort of nuance or meeting and they [TS]

00:45:44   built the heck out of it and they do a [TS]

00:45:47   lot of different runs and stuff to show [TS]

00:45:48   that their voices are great and compete [TS]

00:45:50   like you're talking about jessica [TS]

00:45:51   simpson i feel i was i was going to go [TS]

00:45:54   back to mariah carey but sure yeah that [TS]

00:45:57   works too jessica simpson track from [TS]

00:45:58   when we did the compilations of like the [TS]

00:46:00   worst and values do because we send out [TS]

00:46:02   see we have I saw Mommy Kissing Santa [TS]

00:46:04   Claus first I hate that Carol anyway [TS]

00:46:06   yeah yeah there's not a good version of [TS]

00:46:08   that but Jessica Simpson's brings it to [TS]

00:46:10   a whole new level of disgusting and full [TS]

00:46:13   yeah like to make it soulful know trying [TS]

00:46:15   to make it sexy [TS]

00:46:16   yeah she's kind of like she's kind of [TS]

00:46:18   that Santa will gesture over and then [TS]

00:46:19   we'll be some elbow you have to actually [TS]

00:46:21   if there is ever a song that you say you [TS]

00:46:23   know what let's not make this one sexy [TS]

00:46:25   it sighs softly kissing santa claus [TS]

00:46:28   let's not sex that one that time my kids [TS]

00:46:31   watch me wearing it [TS]

00:46:32   let's let's talk about I saw Mommy [TS]

00:46:34   Kissing Santa Claus for a minute because [TS]

00:46:36   for me that's probably the worst it's [TS]

00:46:38   pretty bad and I mean the Jimmy Boyd [TS]

00:46:41   original sounds like he's singing with [TS]

00:46:43   his huge old-timey close but in traffic [TS]

00:46:44   and neck and that's that's bad enough [TS]

00:46:47   but the spike jonze overhead which is [TS]

00:46:50   sung by grown man George work is utterly [TS]

00:46:53   egregious I implore you to listen to the [TS]

00:46:55   Jackson 5 version [TS]

00:46:57   yeah wit ya which is all right because [TS]

00:46:59   they're doing the Jackson 5 thing where [TS]

00:47:01   they're all spinning around and it's it [TS]

00:47:03   and and Michael's in and this is michael [TS]

00:47:05   and his end his youngest and cutest and [TS]

00:47:08   his belt and now nevermind quite weird [TS]

00:47:10   and then he's a buddy oh what goes weird [TS]

00:47:13   right at the end I'm gonna tell that it [TS]

00:47:15   was really you know you're thinking oh [TS]

00:47:17   god Joe Jackson's gonna beat his wife [TS]

00:47:18   and joe jackson is gonna be like [TS]

00:47:20   everyone singing a song with a sock full [TS]

00:47:23   of oranges they're the ones that should [TS]

00:47:25   be saying i hope that he doesn't get [TS]

00:47:26   drunk [TS]

00:47:27   yes yeah that's miss spike jonze [TS]

00:47:30   business though with the fake giggles [TS]

00:47:32   and the oh boy oh yeah creepy as hell he [TS]

00:47:37   sounds like he's being castrated as the [TS]

00:47:39   song is being recorded [TS]

00:47:41   even if there was a good version of that [TS]

00:47:42   dish the story that unfolds through [TS]

00:47:44   those lyrics oh god like santa baby [TS]

00:47:46   which is my other bugbear in a baby [TS]

00:47:49   didn't make a terrible team movie based [TS]

00:47:51   on the song I saw Mommy Kissing Santa [TS]

00:47:53   Claus I believe starting one of the kids [TS]

00:47:56   from home improvement of course they did [TS]

00:47:58   also a concern to a circle of how i [TS]

00:48:01   would say are the happen fide the lyrics [TS]

00:48:05   of something like i'll be home for [TS]

00:48:07   Christmas which is always found [TS]

00:48:09   offensive because that is a sad song [TS]

00:48:11   that is it that was a song [TS]

00:48:13   just happy version of that yeah Oh God [TS]

00:48:15   most of them have been happy fide I have [TS]

00:48:18   you know that it's i'll i'll be home for [TS]

00:48:21   christmas and you know you can count on [TS]

00:48:23   me and it's all like i'll be home for [TS]

00:48:25   christmas literally and significant oh [TS]

00:48:27   I'm on the united flight right now [TS]

00:48:30   yeah yeah and it were originally was [TS]

00:48:33   about servicemen like overseas not being [TS]

00:48:35   home for Christmas exactly except in [TS]

00:48:37   their dreams i know they changed the [TS]

00:48:39   words when that was a big cross B it [TS]

00:48:42   they rerecorded it with changed words to [TS]

00:48:45   make it more positive they also they [TS]

00:48:48   also do that with one of my favorite [TS]

00:48:50   switches have yourself a merry little [TS]

00:48:51   christmas because the original version [TS]

00:48:53   and as says song in meet me in st. Louis [TS]

00:48:56   is actually kind of Graham because it's [TS]

00:48:58   about a never going to see my loved ones [TS]

00:49:02   again because they're moving to [TS]

00:49:03   different places a exactly overall that [TS]

00:49:05   we're all being flung to the the for [TS]

00:49:07   current corners of the earth and death [TS]

00:49:09   waits for everybody but that the lyrics [TS]

00:49:11   get changed over the years I couldn't [TS]

00:49:14   think of a lot of things that I [TS]

00:49:15   absolutely hated except that i'm i'm [TS]

00:49:17   right with you Jason as far as the the [TS]

00:49:20   radio songs where it some pop star [TS]

00:49:22   showing off and thats and they don't [TS]

00:49:24   even know yeah it's just that they're [TS]

00:49:26   just they're singing but it's a modern [TS]

00:49:27   version of the Frank Sinatra swoops in [TS]

00:49:29   to record something where it's like oh [TS]

00:49:31   is this a song okay I've never heard it [TS]

00:49:32   before but i'll sing the heck out of it [TS]

00:49:34   okay I'm gonna go where's my paycheck [TS]

00:49:36   yeah exactly that bothers me and [TS]

00:49:37   actually speaking of radio stations that [TS]

00:49:40   play christmas music I was in edmonton [TS]

00:49:42   with my spouse last Christmas and they [TS]

00:49:44   have not one but two stations that play [TS]

00:49:46   christmas music while continually all [TS]

00:49:49   month long so as we were driving around [TS]

00:49:52   town which we did quite a bit [TS]

00:49:54   we are I like to flip through the radio [TS]

00:49:56   stations while anytime they're just kind [TS]

00:49:58   of get an idea for what the different [TS]

00:50:00   music is like in canada and it's not [TS]

00:50:02   that different but we heard a lot of [TS]

00:50:04   Christmas songs and almost every time I [TS]

00:50:05   just wanted to change the station right [TS]

00:50:07   away because it was often one of those [TS]

00:50:08   obnoxious songs but the one song that [TS]

00:50:11   that came to mind and he's gonna he's [TS]

00:50:14   gonna hate me because we would drive [TS]

00:50:15   around and Stephen would say I just want [TS]

00:50:17   to hear feliz navidad i just went [TS]

00:50:19   alright he was so excited and in my head [TS]

00:50:21   I'm going oh please don't play that the [TS]

00:50:23   one song i do not want to hear cuz I can [TS]

00:50:26   that stand it just gets on my nerves so [TS]

00:50:28   much yeah you're the NTC yeah we're back [TS]

00:50:31   to where I'm back to being anti Steve [TS]

00:50:32   good good all is right with the world [TS]

00:50:34   yes yeah I feel like I feel like we've [TS]

00:50:36   done a good thing here so i want to wish [TS]

00:50:38   you a Merry Christmas we wish you a [TS]

00:50:42   Merry Christmas we wish you a merry [TS]

00:50:46   christmas from the bottom of my MA [TS]

00:50:50   yes Steve high-five my spouse steven is [TS]

00:50:56   listening right now I'm sure you just [TS]

00:50:57   made his night huh and ruin everyone [TS]

00:51:01   else's you all right Steve the two songs [TS]

00:51:04   i hate the most [TS]

00:51:05   our unfortunately to that Erika said she [TS]

00:51:07   liked no jingle bell rock and rockin [TS]

00:51:12   around the Christmas tree that Yuri [TS]

00:51:14   eight let's talk about rockin around the [TS]

00:51:16   christmas tree i wanted to our jingle [TS]

00:51:18   bell rock let's talk about bowl okay [TS]

00:51:20   there's no parking in either one of them [TS]

00:51:23   there's certain ethical cynical songs [TS]

00:51:27   written by people who just wanted to [TS]

00:51:28   appeal to those darn teenyboppers said [TS]

00:51:31   well if we call it jingle bell rock [TS]

00:51:34   that's like writing a rock song look at [TS]

00:51:36   least Rocking song ever written for her [TS]

00:51:39   perhaps the worst Christmas song lyric [TS]

00:51:42   ever is giddy-up jingle horse pick up [TS]

00:51:44   your feet [TS]

00:51:46   I just argue with that it's just a [TS]

00:51:50   tattoo guy like catchy it is catching [TS]

00:51:53   it's evil but it's catchy [TS]

00:51:55   that's what we're saying Phil what is [TS]

00:51:57   your what is your grievance with rockin [TS]

00:51:58   around the Christmas tree [TS]

00:52:00   well I is it which one is the one that [TS]

00:52:02   whole notes does the borough jingle bell [TS]

00:52:05   rock that my grievances with that for [TS]

00:52:07   you are with me hunt down the nineteen [TS]

00:52:10   eighties video that whole notes did so [TS]

00:52:12   for for Chico Bell Rock away cuz god [TS]

00:52:18   bless our coats because he is going on [TS]

00:52:21   has thrown only 120 know that's the [TS]

00:52:24   director to say the director clearly [TS]

00:52:26   said to them all right [TS]

00:52:27   haulin oats ear this is very festive and [TS]

00:52:30   you're at a party then they're wearing [TS]

00:52:32   ugly sweaters and before that became an [TS]

00:52:34   ironic thing to do hey what you're [TS]

00:52:36   you're at a party and it's the best [TS]

00:52:38   party you've ever been [TS]

00:52:39   the note said oats took that direction [TS]

00:52:41   to heart because his face is not that [TS]

00:52:43   his face is frozen in this rictus of [TS]

00:52:46   merriment and his moustache might just [TS]

00:52:49   be weighing his muscles down its and [TS]

00:52:52   they are dancing around and having a and [TS]

00:52:55   having a grand old time and it will it [TS]

00:52:57   will haunt your dreams as you watch them [TS]

00:53:01   I I please find it now [TS]

00:53:04   pause this podcast active everyone [TS]

00:53:06   within the sound of my voice [TS]

00:53:08   go to youtube or go to the vh1 and find [TS]

00:53:12   haulin oats singing the song it does the [TS]

00:53:16   both of those songs have the feeling was [TS]

00:53:18   like hey the kids have this new thing [TS]

00:53:20   the rock and roll this is what Monty was [TS]

00:53:21   saying the teenyboppers it [TS]

00:53:23   let's do songs like that but but about [TS]

00:53:25   thought about the holidays then they [TS]

00:53:27   couldn't even be bothered to write a new [TS]

00:53:28   song in the case of jingle bell rock [TS]

00:53:30   just somebody's in an office somewhere [TS]

00:53:32   saying we need a christmas carol that [TS]

00:53:34   the kids will listen to you know [TS]

00:53:35   something like jingle bells but with Rob [TS]

00:53:37   I don't know [TS]

00:53:38   jingle bell rock and or roll David do [TS]

00:53:41   you have particular things that you [TS]

00:53:42   would like to complain about [TS]

00:53:44   well I have 21 which has bugged me for [TS]

00:53:48   well I close to 40 years i guess it's [TS]

00:53:52   it's almost that old Paul McCartney's [TS]

00:53:56   wonderful actress all my god the [TS]

00:53:59   landmine haven't been you know I mean [TS]

00:54:01   that's crap bout but it's lex friedman [TS]

00:54:04   least favorite song of all time you know [TS]

00:54:07   that dude could write a good song if he [TS]

00:54:08   wanted to [TS]

00:54:09   Steve yes simply wonderful christmastime [TS]

00:54:14   simply having a wonderful christmas time [TS]

00:54:20   repeat that your heart is actually ok [TS]

00:54:22   that that little melody is not horrible [TS]

00:54:25   but yes they're gonna rest of the song [TS]

00:54:27   that is a really lutely dreadful and and [TS]

00:54:30   you know it's like he had one line and [TS]

00:54:32   went hey that's good [TS]

00:54:33   ok and you know and it got to the point [TS]

00:54:37   where when when my wife and I were first [TS]

00:54:39   dating that was one of those things that [TS]

00:54:41   Bond's a couple you know it's like oh [TS]

00:54:43   that's all [TS]

00:54:44   brought together by hate that's like a [TS]

00:54:46   deal-breaker if they do like it [TS]

00:54:48   she made me write a parody of it and so [TS]

00:54:51   that was that's punishment enough for [TS]

00:54:53   both of you and that parody turned out [TS]

00:54:56   to be our wedding vows well actually no [TS]

00:55:01   I realized you could sing john lennon's [TS]

00:55:03   happy xmas war is over against simply [TS]

00:55:06   having a wonderful christmas time it's a [TS]

00:55:08   counterpoint it's really creepy so [TS]

00:55:11   lennon-mccartney there you go if you [TS]

00:55:13   work in ringo starr's I want to be Santa [TS]

00:55:15   Claus than you really hit the truck and [TS]

00:55:17   I'm still working on it i have a team [TS]

00:55:19   students that has a research grant for [TS]

00:55:21   that by the way christmas time is here [TS]

00:55:22   again by the beatles is actually a much [TS]

00:55:25   worse song and simply having a wonderful [TS]

00:55:27   christmas time the heat Ringo [TS]

00:55:29   declaration of that on his most recent [TS]

00:55:31   Christmas album it's just wanting to [TS]

00:55:33   Ringo would try to live off the glory of [TS]

00:55:35   the beatles it's kind of hard to believe [TS]

00:55:38   I don't like the phrase most recent [TS]

00:55:40   christmas album [TS]

00:55:41   yeah but i have to say i found a new [TS]

00:55:43   song or a relatively new song a couple [TS]

00:55:46   of weeks ago that I don't know it might [TS]

00:55:49   be even worse for me [TS]

00:55:50   christina aguilera's cover of the [TS]

00:55:53   Christmas song which oh it's I mean go [TS]

00:55:57   again if you can hear this go and listen [TS]

00:55:59   to it especially the holiday remix [TS]

00:56:02   that's the even better version as [TS]

00:56:04   opposed to go above and beyond holiday [TS]

00:56:08   remix of the Christmases it's I don't [TS]

00:56:14   know if if mel torme or nat king cole [TS]

00:56:18   like drowned her puppy when she was a [TS]

00:56:21   child because it's like she wants to [TS]

00:56:23   take this song and pummel it into [TS]

00:56:25   submission it it's every vocal trick x [TS]

00:56:30   10 you know if she does a trail she'll [TS]

00:56:33   do 10 drills at once at the backbeat and [TS]

00:56:37   it i mean it's worse than all I have all [TS]

00:56:39   I want for Christmas is you i mean it is [TS]

00:56:41   suddenly mariah carey is not so bad [TS]

00:56:45   anymore [TS]

00:56:46   well I refuse your dad but another other [TS]

00:56:48   words i'm sorry the federal has no cells [TS]

00:56:50   to listen to it on when you push me for [TS]

00:56:53   it [TS]

00:56:53   I'm sure Mel Torme isn't that mad [TS]

00:56:55   because he wrote the songs what Lisa's [TS]

00:56:56   getting paid for what [TS]

00:56:57   but I think using different actually [TS]

00:57:00   succeed yeah that's when something [TS]

00:57:02   doesn't even have an opinion on his [TS]

00:57:04   errors or are not that man no you shut [TS]

00:57:07   up felt army isn't dead but we talking [TS]

00:57:09   about the velvet fog [TS]

00:57:11   yeah we are on the name he hated i [TS]

00:57:14   believe will live forever but is dead [TS]

00:57:18   wait a minute all right [TS]

00:57:21   hey Phil I believe you've got a whole [TS]

00:57:24   bucket of negativity coming [TS]

00:57:26   why don't you pour it out and let's all [TS]

00:57:28   just witness actually Jason I'm full of [TS]

00:57:30   love and happiness i'm very happy to [TS]

00:57:32   hear that but my wife is fuming and I [TS]

00:57:35   think he wants to talk about things that [TS]

00:57:37   she hates all right i feel you put me on [TS]

00:57:39   the spot here now I just wanted to talk [TS]

00:57:40   about how much I hate time santa baby [TS]

00:57:42   yet which is one of those songs that no [TS]

00:57:44   one can ever do right because the basic [TS]

00:57:46   and fundamental message of the song is [TS]

00:57:47   disgusting and gross that's true and yet [TS]

00:57:49   within that within that spectrum you can [TS]

00:57:51   do it really really really badly [TS]

00:57:54   yes you which is to have the affected [TS]

00:57:56   Betty Boop voice what level of office [TS]

00:58:00   and to maybe going to be because Madonna [TS]

00:58:02   awful [TS]

00:58:03   oh you know I think I heard you liek [TS]

00:58:05   Simpson to a cover of it was usually a [TS]

00:58:07   michelle those version of it now i don't [TS]

00:58:09   remember any ear every lady Shion to see [TS]

00:58:12   doesn't every lady chanteuse who's ever [TS]

00:58:13   desperately needs to know that she's [TS]

00:58:15   pretty doesn't cover of it [TS]

00:58:16   yeah you know it's validate me so i just [TS]

00:58:18   checked and you'll be glad to know glee [TS]

00:58:20   has done santa baby about a hapless yeah [TS]

00:58:23   ryan murphy is a force for evil I [TS]

00:58:25   wouldn't have done it so I just like [TS]

00:58:27   that 1i am have no opinion on baby it's [TS]

00:58:30   cold outside anymore because i always [TS]

00:58:32   keep you like that to rest with their [TS]

00:58:33   wonderful wonderful take off no no no we [TS]

00:58:36   need to discuss this [TS]

00:58:37   this is very important I was ready to to [TS]

00:58:41   let you know baby it's cold outside go [TS]

00:58:43   because you know everyone just say hey [TS]

00:58:45   this is connected with date right about [TS]

00:58:47   date rape URF URF over there that i was [TS]

00:58:49   going to know about that letter not yeah [TS]

00:58:51   a little bit I I think society had given [TS]

00:58:55   up on that song or I thought it had even [TS]

00:58:57   and then last year Lisa M didn't want to [TS]

00:59:02   get emotional on this podcast last year [TS]

00:59:06   john travolta oh that's a little [TS]

00:59:09   newton-john did it didn't happen [TS]

00:59:11   Christmas standards i really wasn't i [TS]

00:59:15   did baby it's cold outside of this [TS]

00:59:18   except except except John Travolta is [TS]

00:59:21   the person who's I hit ya gotta go and [TS]

00:59:24   within just got no I think it's gonna go [TS]

00:59:27   I think I think we're gonna we're gonna [TS]

00:59:29   get busy tonight and high [TS]

00:59:31   I've locked all the doors lock from the [TS]

00:59:33   outside didn't know your truck with my [TS]

00:59:35   judgments coming [TS]

00:59:37   I I don't really think if you can that [TS]

00:59:39   way and love you do John says grease is [TS]

00:59:42   the word baby and it's like the [TS]

00:59:44   heartwarming version of misery [TS]

00:59:46   listen to that song and listen to John [TS]

00:59:48   your focus tired voice as he's just [TS]

00:59:50   cranky i really like signature sobs I [TS]

00:59:55   agree with you that sounds like it [TS]

00:59:56   sounds like a hostage video [TS]

00:59:58   yeah i agree with you there [TS]

00:59:58   yeah i agree with you there [TS]

01:00:00   however i am the video John Travolta's [TS]

01:00:02   thinking is distressed for I stand by my [TS]

01:00:05   stand by my search that key and Peele [TS]

01:00:07   have definitively the date-rape up [TS]

01:00:09   questions to rest with their takeoff [TS]

01:00:11   hmm and I I urge everybody to look for [TS]

01:00:13   for that on youtube because that's [TS]

01:00:14   awesome you know that same gender swap [TS]

01:00:16   two baby it's cold outside was done by [TS]

01:00:18   lady gaga and Joseph gordon-levitt in [TS]

01:00:21   what I'm sure you remember as lady gaga [TS]

01:00:24   and the Muppets Holiday Spectacular from [TS]

01:00:26   like a week and a half ago I i get this [TS]

01:00:29   image is it just gordon-levitt is played [TS]

01:00:31   down for a lot more things than John [TS]

01:00:32   Travolta is that like he seems to me [TS]

01:00:34   like he's an adventurer shame and that [TS]

01:00:36   was maybe the only decent moment that [TS]

01:00:38   whole special gathers depressing special [TS]

01:00:41   there's also oh I really hate there's [TS]

01:00:44   one called mary did you know that comes [TS]

01:00:46   on occasionally and its basic and and [TS]

01:00:48   the whole premise of the songs mary are [TS]

01:00:50   you were that the baby that you're [TS]

01:00:51   holding is going to be horribly [TS]

01:00:52   crucified in approximately thirty-three [TS]

01:00:54   years and and do you realize what a [TS]

01:00:56   grave responsibility is to take this [TS]

01:00:58   tiny child and look at it and realize [TS]

01:01:00   that you're gonna watch and be tortured [TS]

01:01:01   to death for salvation [TS]

01:01:03   did you know that Mary are you okay with [TS]

01:01:05   that Mary sounds uplifting yes yes it's [TS]

01:01:08   like the dude who bought brought [TS]

01:01:10   murderer [TS]

01:01:10   yeah yeah and then she's giving birth in [TS]

01:01:13   a manger like immediately thereafter [TS]

01:01:15   when she's like all hormonal and [TS]

01:01:17   supplementary did you know and and I [TS]

01:01:19   just and whenever somebody thinks that [TS]

01:01:21   they're trying to sing it reverently [TS]

01:01:22   because you're supposed to be you know [TS]

01:01:23   thinking about big thoughts and in [TS]

01:01:25   salvation and so on and so forth and [TS]

01:01:27   what it really comes down to is it would [TS]

01:01:28   be tantamount to someone coming to see [TS]

01:01:30   the mother of a newborn and saying by [TS]

01:01:32   the way said strikes one in 200 yeah [TS]

01:01:34   it's just this horrible program and and [TS]

01:01:38   they play it on the radio like it's [TS]

01:01:39   supposed to be this big spiritual path [TS]

01:01:41   gnosis all my gosh I hate that so we've [TS]

01:01:44   had a lot of fun tonight talking about [TS]

01:01:45   it like that SIDS and and date rape [TS]

01:01:52   there's a few points I want to make [TS]

01:01:54   before we get to the Christmas shoes and [TS]

01:01:56   that is celebrities if you're listening [TS]

01:02:00   to this podcast and i was thinking i [TS]

01:02:02   know that you are please hate you when [TS]

01:02:04   they come and tell you got them [TS]

01:02:06   you've got to make a christmas album [TS]

01:02:07   that just say no Rosie O'Donnell [TS]

01:02:11   mhm i'm going to say no and when they [TS]

01:02:15   say hey Rosie O'Donnell that Christmas [TS]

01:02:17   album was great make a second one please [TS]

01:02:20   at that point say no and and please [TS]

01:02:22   whatever you do don't do a duet with [TS]

01:02:24   Elmo [TS]

01:02:25   I kind of living for the day that you [TS]

01:02:26   decide to punish me by introducing that [TS]

01:02:29   to her daughter that oh no that's not [TS]

01:02:30   gonna happen okay that's not gonna [TS]

01:02:32   happen to you promised me I have to live [TS]

01:02:33   in that house too [TS]

01:02:34   ok yes Rosie O'Donnell and Elmo sing do [TS]

01:02:39   you hear what I hear [TS]

01:02:40   yes and what what what you will hear is [TS]

01:02:42   horror and and sobbing so please [TS]

01:02:47   I for one think the elmo has a lovely [TS]

01:02:49   singing voice [TS]

01:02:50   no it's like a call-and-response Jason [TS]

01:02:53   that's how they do the song as big as a [TS]

01:02:55   kite [TS]

01:02:55   it was a star almost as big as the guys [TS]

01:02:58   big as a kite [TS]

01:02:59   the king said Rosie said the little lab [TS]

01:03:03   to the w into the shepherd boy didn't [TS]

01:03:05   get this Shepherd that's right on [TS]

01:03:08   shepherd boy and it looks like this for [TS]

01:03:11   like hours it feels like yeah so you got [TS]

01:03:14   your problems with your Rosie [TS]

01:03:15   O'Donnell's and your Cathy Lee Gifford's [TS]

01:03:17   cutting christmas albums the new was [TS]

01:03:19   here you got your problems with your [TS]

01:03:20   hipsters like your your flaming lips and [TS]

01:03:22   your your Martinez Ibarra's doing there [TS]

01:03:25   oh you really hate that more tuna [TS]

01:03:26   cerbera most wonderful time of the year [TS]

01:03:28   yeah [TS]

01:03:28   oh wow yeah where the hipsters can't [TS]

01:03:31   even be bothered to say it's the most [TS]

01:03:33   wonderful time [TS]

01:03:36   what gives you oh yeah it is a part of [TS]

01:03:39   the song where Martina so it's America [TS]

01:03:41   actually I don't even know if i'm [TS]

01:03:42   pronouncing your name correctly i don't [TS]

01:03:44   care i don't care now and and she just [TS]

01:03:46   like lets out this plaintiffs I like oh [TS]

01:03:49   I'm so much better than this material [TS]

01:03:51   yeah well not really but I think the [TS]

01:03:56   thing and we could talk about the the [TS]

01:04:00   pikachu pokemon Christmas alvin I think [TS]

01:04:05   people know enough to avoid that what I [TS]

01:04:07   don't think what I think people don't [TS]

01:04:08   avoid is a song i like to call the [TS]

01:04:12   Christmas cat [TS]

01:04:14   the Christmas cat isn't that the time [TS]

01:04:18   for a Doughboy this Michael Jordan [TS]

01:04:20   Rockies bad memories and he's listening [TS]

01:04:22   to this podcast yeah that the Christmas [TS]

01:04:25   cat is a song about a cat who is who's a [TS]

01:04:27   cruel bastard owners thrown out into the [TS]

01:04:30   wintry night because I guess he's being [TS]

01:04:33   a cat and they thrown out into the [TS]

01:04:36   wintry night and there in the snow [TS]

01:04:37   drifts he meets a mouse and he says hey [TS]

01:04:42   mister mouse all cuddle you and and keep [TS]

01:04:45   you warm and during the course sonic at [TS]

01:04:47   freezes to death but the mouse lives and [TS]

01:04:51   and and Santa comes no sense yeah [TS]

01:04:53   because the ratio of any means that the [TS]

01:04:57   heat i don't work out the most maybe [TS]

01:04:59   they cut out the lyric or the mouse cuts [TS]

01:05:01   the cat like a tauntaun and sleep since [TS]

01:05:03   I don't know [TS]

01:05:05   so that is how come the song is called [TS]

01:05:07   the Christmas mouse but I had announced [TS]

01:05:09   like bigger on the inside than the [TS]

01:05:10   outside the have had a good at a certain [TS]

01:05:13   point the mouse is rescued by Santa [TS]

01:05:16   because you know Santa and and everyone [TS]

01:05:20   cries it's a there's an actual lyrics [TS]

01:05:22   and everyone cried in a Christmas song [TS]

01:05:25   and Santa says well because this cat [TS]

01:05:29   gave His life i'm going to you i'm going [TS]

01:05:32   to use mice and powers to assume the [TS]

01:05:34   bodily into heaven as I didn't realize [TS]

01:05:37   that was in Santa's trans- bad you [TS]

01:05:39   didn't realize that was a two-finger [TS]

01:05:41   Santa's mission statement [TS]

01:05:42   it's because christmas is a very [TS]

01:05:44   religious holiday and there ya have it [TS]

01:05:45   has those powers so if you're listening [TS]

01:05:49   to need to get there earlier before ya [TS]

01:05:51   know it will bring him back haha yeah [TS]

01:05:53   well Santa said some things [TS]

01:05:55   it's not like he has powers that allow [TS]

01:05:57   them to travel around the world and one [TS]

01:05:59   night he can't get there in time he [TS]

01:06:00   could have done the thing that Superman [TS]

01:06:02   does in the first superman movie where [TS]

01:06:03   he starts flying around the word bet [TS]

01:06:06   world backwards so that it reverses they [TS]

01:06:08   wouldn't have to deliver all the [TS]

01:06:09   presents again though [TS]

01:06:11   yeah I guess Santa just being a lazy [TS]

01:06:12   bastard I'd I think he's got quite a job [TS]

01:06:15   to do so anyhow if you're planning on [TS]

01:06:17   listening to the Christmas cat don't [TS]

01:06:19   yeah that's my advice to you but of [TS]

01:06:21   course now that I've heard you talk [TS]

01:06:22   about it I have to go [TS]

01:06:24   nada Leon's I definitely don't huh [TS]

01:06:28   I've heard it so I'm safe do it do it [TS]

01:06:30   would youwould you back up my story oh [TS]

01:06:32   god yes [TS]

01:06:33   yeah you can go you can all listen or [TS]

01:06:37   not listen to it at carid.com a whole [TS]

01:06:39   say I'm not kidding here suddenly [TS]

01:06:43   grandma and the reindeer don't look so [TS]

01:06:45   bad a Christmas cat is available on CD [TS]

01:06:47   with the beautiful four-page full color [TS]

01:06:49   booklet insert I can't think of another [TS]

01:06:52   song that we'd want to mention certainly [TS]

01:06:54   not one that involves footwear to buy [TS]

01:06:55   these shoes sir before we get a [TS]

01:06:58   Christmas cobblers involved i want to [TS]

01:07:00   express my incredible dislike for and [TS]

01:07:04   this is probably an unpopular choice [TS]

01:07:06   because apparently some people like this [TS]

01:07:08   but those people are wrong [TS]

01:07:10   uh I really detest Christmas wrapping by [TS]

01:07:14   the waitresses a man I don't know what [TS]

01:07:16   it is somebody mentioned on twitter [TS]

01:07:18   today have you heard it [TS]

01:07:19   merry christmas is curiosity where were [TS]

01:07:22   you in the eighties no no I'm serious [TS]

01:07:24   work because it didn't i was offered [TS]

01:07:26   West ok because it was often played on [TS]

01:07:28   on like Christmas Eve most the local [TS]

01:07:30   rock stations because that was they were [TS]

01:07:32   allowed remember we weren't allowed to [TS]

01:07:34   listen to christmas music in the house [TS]

01:07:36   ah that's right so you either so barely [TS]

01:07:39   like you've never heard while home my [TS]

01:07:41   gosh you should consider yourself lucky [TS]

01:07:42   it is i just got a horrible melody has [TS]

01:07:46   their awful awful repetitive a chorus it [TS]

01:07:51   merry christmas and thanksgiving this [TS]

01:07:53   think i was getting this was your man [TS]

01:07:55   because my gosh let's just stop it oh [TS]

01:07:58   maybe I have to I have heard that song [TS]

01:07:59   oh no i didn't know the name [TS]

01:08:02   I'm having flashbacks to the one holiday [TS]

01:08:04   season i worked at a record so man [TS]

01:08:06   there's going to be a punch-out oh god [TS]

01:08:08   this place is a big fan got this is [TS]

01:08:10   terrible lyrics the whole thing is about [TS]

01:08:11   to get this flaky lady who wants to get [TS]

01:08:14   together with some keep talking over [TS]

01:08:16   books her life other flaky guy but you [TS]

01:08:18   can't really be bothered [TS]

01:08:19   keep digging Your Grave what's the worst [TS]

01:08:23   man [TS]

01:08:24   yeah i have heard it I just blocked it [TS]

01:08:25   out yeah that's that's what you do [TS]

01:08:27   Lisa Steve was saying terrible things [TS]

01:08:28   about Christmas wrapping you have a [TS]

01:08:31   rebuttal [TS]

01:08:32   no because people are allowed to like [TS]

01:08:33   and dislike different songs and [TS]

01:08:35   that is just fine by me that's why they [TS]

01:08:37   make two flavors of ice cream i guess [TS]

01:08:39   you can't think that some people like [TS]

01:08:40   terrible ice cream [TS]

01:08:42   look I can see I can see where the [TS]

01:08:45   criticism is you know see steve is right [TS]

01:08:48   where the lyrics are basically this [TS]

01:08:49   overcook this this overbrook broad with [TS]

01:08:51   a rotten grip on her social life as [TS]

01:08:54   friends all year running around like a [TS]

01:08:55   maniac and there's this trait little oh [TS]

01:08:58   it's a Christmas miracle that I ran into [TS]

01:09:00   my hookup and at the MP on Christmas Eve [TS]

01:09:02   but you know you forgot the cranberries [TS]

01:09:04   to you forgot cranberries to yeah yeah [TS]

01:09:08   and some guy I think you'd enjoy that [TS]

01:09:14   song you have to enjoy the waitresses [TS]

01:09:16   yeah particular approach to pop music [TS]

01:09:18   which is to say it's this really I I get [TS]

01:09:20   the feeling that the waitresses if you [TS]

01:09:22   describe them it's a lot more enjoyable [TS]

01:09:23   than if you actually listen to them you [TS]

01:09:25   know don't think that's all I know what [TS]

01:09:26   boys like yeah I was very frightened or [TS]

01:09:28   boys like works for the square pegs [TS]

01:09:30   themes on for this yeah just it's a [TS]

01:09:32   little too much and it just it feels [TS]

01:09:34   like it goes on for about 20 minutes [TS]

01:09:36   this song because it like covers all [TS]

01:09:38   four seats are accounting the year it's [TS]

01:09:40   like everyone's I just called to say I [TS]

01:09:41   love you [TS]

01:09:42   yeah yet you don't actually have to do [TS]

01:09:43   that over the course of a year though [TS]

01:09:46   alright it's time it's time to wrap it [TS]

01:09:48   up with the Christmas shoes [TS]

01:09:49   Phil please take it down so it was the [TS]

01:09:53   single Christmas snow was almost [TS]

01:09:59   Christmas tag [TS]

01:10:00   I can only do like six seconds and then [TS]

01:10:05   we have to pay those bastards royalties [TS]

01:10:07   and I never knew Satchmo did that song [TS]

01:10:09   know what he does [TS]

01:10:11   yeah do it another time except you know [TS]

01:10:14   you never heard anybody doing a cover of [TS]

01:10:16   that song know and and that should tell [TS]

01:10:18   you everything you need to know about it [TS]

01:10:20   so let me take you back to 2000 guys [TS]

01:10:22   let's go back to 2000 good old 2000 i'm [TS]

01:10:25   driving in on the highways and byways of [TS]

01:10:27   Virginia with my new bride and we have [TS]

01:10:31   on wash em one of the radio stations [TS]

01:10:34   that plays Christmas 24 hours a day and [TS]

01:10:37   they got the DJ comes on and says hey [TS]

01:10:40   here's a song we've been getting [TS]

01:10:41   requests for the salted all day long [TS]

01:10:44   it's called the Christmas shoes and we [TS]

01:10:47   listen to this song which is if you [TS]

01:10:50   haven't heard it a little bit [TS]

01:10:53   controversial for the holidays it's a [TS]

01:10:54   song about a young man who's a waiting [TS]

01:10:57   in line to buy a Christmas present for [TS]

01:10:59   his mother because his mother's dying [TS]

01:11:01   and the mean heartless bastard behind [TS]

01:11:04   him in line a doesn't like he's easy [TS]

01:11:07   he's kind of grumpy around Christmastime [TS]

01:11:09   but here's this kids a sob story says oh [TS]

01:11:12   I've got to help out this kid and so he [TS]

01:11:15   kicks in some money to help this kid buy [TS]

01:11:17   a pair of shoes for his dying mother and [TS]

01:11:20   the code of the song and I think we have [TS]

01:11:22   to quote exactly let's not paraphrase [TS]

01:11:25   new song put a lot of effort and thought [TS]

01:11:27   into writing this and this is what they [TS]

01:11:30   came up with I knew I'd caught a glimpse [TS]

01:11:32   of heavens love as he thanked me and ran [TS]

01:11:34   out I knew God had sent me that little [TS]

01:11:36   boy to remind me what Christmas is all [TS]

01:11:38   about which is another way of saying [TS]

01:11:41   yeah I was not really feeling the [TS]

01:11:44   Christmas mood but then God decided to [TS]

01:11:46   kill this boy's mother and I feel good [TS]

01:11:49   about me and now I'm feeling great [TS]

01:11:50   talking about it [TS]

01:11:51   I was fine song but the mouse live [TS]

01:11:56   the point is that Santa Claus saves the [TS]

01:11:58   mouse that kills this little boy's [TS]

01:12:00   mother like murders are dead and so we [TS]

01:12:04   go wee-wee-wee goes to my my in-laws [TS]

01:12:07   house for Christmas and we see him and [TS]

01:12:10   we just heard this horrific song and [TS]

01:12:13   we're counting it yeah and we're gonna [TS]

01:12:15   see it's about shopping and some poor [TS]

01:12:18   kids running around on supervised was [TS]

01:12:20   dying and instead of focusing there's a [TS]

01:12:23   Carter is dirty and neglected and all [TS]

01:12:26   that i should mention there's a choir of [TS]

01:12:27   children at the end syncing with the bit [TS]

01:12:29   about sir will you buy these shoes and [TS]

01:12:31   my mama please and then the song ends [TS]

01:12:33   with this little child listing i wanted [TS]

01:12:35   to look beautiful if mama meets Jesus [TS]

01:12:37   tonight and that's how it ends like with [TS]

01:12:39   a bell on this child was being away its [TS]

01:12:41   dread and so we mentioned this in my [TS]

01:12:43   father-in-law just grows Ashton says [TS]

01:12:45   that is the most beautiful sound that [TS]

01:12:48   has ever been written you less left [TS]

01:12:50   costal ino cynical left costal a [TS]

01:12:52   c-collar are you saying he's wrong and [TS]

01:12:54   description with her now that's the [TS]

01:12:57   thing of saying that and I'm like what's [TS]

01:12:59   that supposed to be something you think [TS]

01:13:01   it's dad why what why are you acting [TS]

01:13:04   like we should be offended by gonna be [TS]

01:13:06   over the ensuing 12 years i think the [TS]

01:13:10   Christmas shoes is his Gunners share [TS]

01:13:13   fans has garnered its share of [TS]

01:13:15   detractors they made a movie out of it [TS]

01:13:18   sterling Rallo you watched it with my [TS]

01:13:20   mom for the first time [TS]

01:13:21   yes because i was out doing something [TS]

01:13:23   you can wear your out meeting a friend [TS]

01:13:25   of yours tonight I saw at your mother's [TS]

01:13:27   house and M and I I was reduced to tears [TS]

01:13:31   but not of the sad for now yeah so the [TS]

01:13:35   first movie is rob lowe learns a very [TS]

01:13:37   important about lesson about Christmas [TS]

01:13:40   when Kimberly Williams his heart [TS]

01:13:41   explodes [TS]

01:13:42   yeah and a little boy was orphaned at [TS]

01:13:45   but the important thing is rob lowe [TS]

01:13:47   knows how to celebrate Christmas now and [TS]

01:13:49   then in the second movie the little boy [TS]

01:13:51   grows up to be Doogie Howser mhm and [TS]

01:13:53   other movies turned to Steve Sanders [TS]

01:13:54   from Beverly Hills 90210 it's it's just [TS]

01:13:56   a woman sat down freedom that is like [TS]

01:13:59   the devolution of man [TS]

01:14:00   hey wait there are three Christmas shoes [TS]

01:14:03   movies [TS]

01:14:04   yes there are oh my lord and there are [TS]

01:14:07   four christmas shoes books [TS]

01:14:08   yes wow did you hear the scare quotes [TS]

01:14:13   around the word books other kids [TS]

01:14:15   no I want clarification are those books [TS]

01:14:17   based on the lyrics are they [TS]

01:14:20   novelizations of the movies [TS]

01:14:22   Jason how I gave Phil I gave fill the [TS]

01:14:25   books is a stocking stuffer one year and [TS]

01:14:29   the it and I believe I i may have read a [TS]

01:14:31   few chapters of one of them aloud to you [TS]

01:14:32   one time I was angry yeah and we call [TS]

01:14:36   those days weekdays there's a reading [TS]

01:14:40   guide for them you know you can happen [TS]

01:14:42   at your book club [TS]

01:14:43   can I just say that reading your spouse [TS]

01:14:46   from the Christmas shoes book gotta be [TS]

01:14:49   the lowest method of intramural fighting [TS]

01:14:52   that I've ever heard that that's rough [TS]

01:14:56   there might be seven of these bahaha oh [TS]

01:14:58   what a lot such I thought I stopped it [TS]

01:15:01   for well the author has written seven [TS]

01:15:03   books that i'll start with the Christmas [TS]

01:15:05   something now looking at Donna's family [TS]

01:15:07   area blessing hope promise secret [TS]

01:15:11   journey and no external energy [TS]

01:15:13   wow oh there's a Christmas no that's [TS]

01:15:17   ridiculous [TS]

01:15:18   oh wow well oh no I have a cynical Left [TS]

01:15:22   Coast elitist I had no idea she had [TS]

01:15:23   continued after the Christmas promise [TS]

01:15:25   yeah alright well what have we learned [TS]

01:15:28   nothing not a thing that I i think there [TS]

01:15:32   was some pretty good recommendations for [TS]

01:15:33   different before it all got ugly yes [TS]

01:15:35   there were you realize relentlessly [TS]

01:15:38   focused on the positive for a while that [TS]

01:15:39   help ya ya kept it from going off the [TS]

01:15:41   rails man for a little while said said [TS]

01:15:45   the man climbing on the record i think [TS]

01:15:48   the rail pointed directly to the [TS]

01:15:49   negativity i think in this podcast Jason [TS]

01:15:52   you are the cat was thrown out of that [TS]

01:15:55   right late at night and in this metaphor [TS]

01:15:58   I think that oh let's say eric is the [TS]

01:16:00   mouse that lives [TS]

01:16:02   I guess right that's fine who had the [TS]

01:16:05   shoes are in state is steve is the [TS]

01:16:07   shields and sure i'll be granted 200 [TS]

01:16:10   really and Monty is the cuckolded dad [TS]

01:16:13   who saw Mommy Kissing lore and done and [TS]

01:16:18   lisa is a living newton-john I guess [TS]

01:16:22   that makes me John Travolta wow well we [TS]

01:16:26   look forward to your next career revival [TS]

01:16:28   it's still just named everybody who was [TS]

01:16:29   on I feel like I don't even have to say [TS]

01:16:31   goodbye to you by name [TS]

01:16:32   you guys wonder why I don't do Christmas [TS]

01:16:36   stuff and just waive all feel festive [TS]

01:16:39   you don't enough [TS]

01:16:42   alright we've got enough damage here we [TS]

01:16:44   spread the holiday cheer [TS]

01:16:46   we spread it in some cases we smashed it [TS]

01:16:48   but it was a lot of fun and now it's [TS]

01:16:51   over and so I'd like to thank all my [TS]

01:16:54   guests again who feel just identified by [TS]

01:16:56   name and their roles here especially [TS]

01:16:58   Steve the shoes [TS]

01:16:59   Christmas is ruined yay pretty early in [TS]

01:17:03   the year this time and so so we say [TS]

01:17:05   goodbye to you and thank you mr. and [TS]

01:17:07   wish you all a Merry Christmas we hope [TS]

01:17:08   you'll tune in next week for something [TS]

01:17:10   something special from us and maybe we [TS]

01:17:13   should just say that we're simply having [TS]

01:17:14   a wonderful christmas soon we are simply [TS]

01:17:16   having a wonderful christmas time simply [TS]

01:17:20   goodbye everybody having a wonderful [TS]

01:17:24   christmastime Christmas stuff that's [TS]

01:17:26   what Christmas is all about Charlie [TS]

01:17:27   Brown lights please [TS]

01:17:37   and just to be clear you're listening to [TS]

01:17:41   human centipede the worst passwords [TS]

01:17:44   podcast app that's it that's been trying [TS]

01:17:49   to make you jealous i will ignite in the [TS]

01:17:50   chat just digital the can be spoken [TS]

01:17:54   please edit out all the jingle bells [TS]

01:17:59   thank you i'm shaking it feel now that [TS]

01:18:03   you know I'm gonna keep this on my wrist [TS]

01:18:05   the whole be able to drive tonight um [TS]

01:18:07   well I'll be drunk by then it's truly [TS]

01:18:10   did stop at mr. I'll be drunk by [TS]

01:18:13   Christmas i was waiting for someone to [TS]

01:18:15   say by then Jesus it why don't why don't [TS]

01:18:19   we draft the format that we're going to [TS]

01:18:21   use for this episode had no you know [TS]

01:18:23   what will create Dungeons and Dragons [TS]

01:18:26   characters and give them all songs to [TS]

01:18:28   sing chick flick [TS]

01:18:31   that's doesn't understand i'll come up [TS]

01:18:33   with something for Carlos the door I [TS]

01:18:36   goblin will sing all be home for [TS]

01:18:38   Christmas except on the desert planet of [TS]

01:18:42   Athos Christmas is a holiday that's [TS]

01:18:44   served as a feast of sand [TS]

01:18:47   yes usually harder that's the only [TS]

01:18:52   reference i can make christmas is what [TS]

01:18:53   goblins eat you're living in a portion [TS]

01:18:56   of the country that if it snows on [TS]

01:18:58   Christmas it's a sign of the apocalypse [TS]

01:19:00   something has gone horribly wrong and [TS]

01:19:02   yea or if you're Australian they might [TS]

01:19:05   be relieved because we feel about those [TS]

01:19:07   fires huh [TS]

01:19:08   some parts up somewhere Australia is [TS]

01:19:11   always burning so if the snow comes onto [TS]

01:19:13   the Christmas me I understand the beds [TS]

01:19:15   are burning quite frequently on there [TS]

01:19:16   the time has come fairly well they're [TS]

01:19:20   passionate people [TS]

01:19:21   it's our midnight oil episode ya know [TS]

01:19:23   about it took an unexpected turn [TS]

01:19:27   I feel like we just get started on the [TS]

01:19:28   film Lisa podcast right this is the best [TS]

01:19:32   who's afraid of virginia woolf overheard [TS]

01:19:33   mark i played the song for you you have [TS]

01:19:42   only talent [TS]

01:19:44   quiet Massa Massa stop laughing and just [TS]

01:19:52   imagine that much everything I have to [TS]

01:19:53   do now [TS]

01:19:54   wow this is amazing i deliberately [TS]

01:19:56   trying to laugh wait for the microphone [TS]

01:19:57   because I didn't want to break some [TS]

01:19:59   better microphone 0 and and I let me see [TS]

01:20:04   if I can find the lyrics for that it's [TS]

01:20:07   through the you log on Uncle John [TS]

01:20:11   through the log on Uncle John throw the [TS]

01:20:14   you look through the log through the log [TS]

01:20:16   on Uncle John and it all depends on [TS]

01:20:18   where you put the comma and the whole [TS]

01:20:21   selling is just about doing horrible [TS]

01:20:23   horrible things to Uncle John [TS]

01:20:26   so yeah it's it'll be great to see the [TS]

01:20:30   the faces of the traditional carolers [TS]

01:20:32   when you started singing that like oh [TS]

01:20:34   god that's horrible [TS]

01:20:36   stop so you know and I don't think Uncle [TS]

01:20:39   John would like it either [TS]

01:20:41   not really no no buddy I want us to get [TS]

01:20:46   to you login Uncle John if possible [TS]

01:20:48   position [TS]

01:20:49   thank you goodnight goodnight everybody [TS]

01:20:53   I Christmas it and and and i got to say [TS]

01:20:56   we in Louisville we have 10 6.9 WV easy [TS]

01:21:00   playing the you know the 24 songs over [TS]

01:21:03   and over and over again except they also [TS]

01:21:06   do a contest where if you hear Jingle [TS]

01:21:10   Bell Rock twice in a row be the third [TS]

01:21:13   caller [TS]

01:21:14   oh my and you know usually my kids like [TS]

01:21:17   let's do the contest let's do the [TS]

01:21:18   contest and this is a contest where both [TS]

01:21:22   of them are like why do they keep [TS]

01:21:24   playing that song god and so yeah we [TS]

01:21:28   stopped listening to that real quick [TS]

01:21:30   yeah that's like in citement to murder [TS]

01:21:33   the listen to jingle bell rock well [TS]

01:21:35   alright it could be worried i just try [TS]

01:21:38   to stay positive here and I ll rock now [TS]

01:21:41   let's go to you America you can tell us [TS]

01:21:44   about things you like and then [TS]

01:21:45   and then later i'll talk about how [TS]

01:21:46   jingle bell rock is a sign of the [TS]

01:21:49   apocalypse but now we're staying [TS]

01:21:51   positive now that's right i love that [TS]

01:21:54   song but I could say I feel like it's [TS]

01:21:55   kind of cool persons for Jo of auld lang [TS]

01:21:58   syne which is one of the 24 songs that [TS]

01:22:01   gets played on that gets played onkyo IT [TS]

01:22:04   and and you know the whole outline [TS]

01:22:06   design by god morgon berg we're [TS]

01:22:10   basically I've run into a national [TS]

01:22:12   database side you mean yeah yeah yeah [TS]

01:22:15   yeah yeah I run into my ex-girlfriend [TS]

01:22:16   the story of my life is so much more [TS]

01:22:17   awesome than hers and we had a drink in [TS]

01:22:20   the car and I got to feel sad more [TS]

01:22:21   Australian and we and like I actually [TS]

01:22:25   either arm or something like that [TS]

01:22:27   because this feels like you could be a [TS]

01:22:29   really fertile genre but in some ways I [TS]

01:22:32   feel like fairytale here is kind of the [TS]

01:22:33   the incredibly cool persons version of [TS]

01:22:35   that song i still love the song don't [TS]

01:22:38   get me wrong i did i just see parallels [TS]

01:22:40   a model Lisa thinks you're really cool [TS]

01:22:42   idea [TS]

01:22:43   clearly is true she thinks you're a [TS]

01:22:45   poser is what you say also that I think [TS]

01:22:50   Steve's point is he's not an angry drunk [TS]

01:22:52   he's kind of a is kind of a [TS]

01:22:54   light-hearted quarter on cool might be [TS]

01:22:56   invited on podcast to talk about [TS]

01:22:57   christmas music 70s uptight wife was a [TS]

01:23:00   problem yeah but you to the Christmas [TS]

01:23:02   Jeff that we were going with maybe it is [TS]

01:23:04   Martha today off of John dead Martha is [TS]

01:23:13   the boards are many the right spot on [TS]

01:23:16   mabi alright it i mean this child has [TS]

01:23:22   clearly stumbled onto some seriously [TS]

01:23:24   kinky stuff Coney town and it's like [TS]

01:23:26   David Lynch Christmas yeah i was [TS]

01:23:29   thinking it could only be more [TS]

01:23:30   disturbing if there were a fourth verse [TS]

01:23:32   about dad standing behind the Christmas [TS]

01:23:33   tree snapping Polaroids that I have a [TS]

01:23:37   causal factor in our judge me this is [TS]

01:23:39   the only way i could be jolly son [TS]

01:23:42   his own father cuckolded by jolly old [TS]

01:23:45   Saint Nick Merry Christmas everybody [TS]

01:23:48   I i believe i believe the subtext is [TS]

01:23:51   that Santa Claus is actually daddy in [TS]

01:23:54   the address and yes it is it's no idea [TS]

01:24:00   yeah you got it marked down to make a [TS]

01:24:01   Bob Crane joke and wants you to make the [TS]

01:24:03   president's travel [TS]

01:24:05   yeah keep quiet Jimmy if you want to [TS]

01:24:07   keep the train sets coming [TS]

01:24:10   your mom's a real holds the lyric what a [TS]

01:24:12   laugh it would have been if daddy hood [TS]

01:24:14   home he's seen listen kid there is [TS]

01:24:16   nothing funny about daddy be humiliated [TS]

01:24:20   on Christmas Day ing hype jolly old elf [TS]

01:24:22   unless he's working through some medical [TS]

01:24:24   issues in which case is this is the best [TS]

01:24:26   Christmas ever my father rifles being [TS]

01:24:28   humiliated i believe it was Sophocles [TS]

01:24:30   who wrote that on her head of us finds [TS]

01:24:34   his Mommy Kissing Santa Claus and then [TS]

01:24:35   blind Santa Claus no serious therapy [TS]

01:24:38   something I've got that wrong [TS]

01:24:41   wow haha I I have a theory that this [TS]

01:24:45   song is actually being sung not by a [TS]

01:24:47   little boy but my a middle-aged man no [TS]

01:24:52   tears and mascara pouring down his face [TS]

01:24:55   and he's singing to another man whose [TS]

01:24:57   gagged and tied with you what's the [TS]

01:25:02   connection [TS]

01:25:03   how are you enjoying this podcast so far [TS]

01:25:07   Jason Merry Christmas [TS]

01:25:13   we're live on five by five tonight enjoy [TS]

01:25:16   the later you're enjoying this text ya [TS]

01:25:20   no no definitely not [TS]

01:25:24   oh my gosh the best thing about this [TS]

01:25:26   place at least is actually watching the [TS]

01:25:28   YouTube video now my phone because they [TS]

01:25:31   have poor John's buried under a pile of [TS]

01:25:33   presence and it hit I feel like the [TS]

01:25:36   visual sight gags that go along with [TS]

01:25:38   that looking holla notes i feel like i [TS]

01:25:40   am watching a person watching the human [TS]

01:25:41   centipede as she watches this video was [TS]

01:25:44   it take like six presence to bury John [TS]

01:25:46   Oates and doesn't that's the saddest [TS]

01:25:48   part of all is there like thin paperback [TS]

01:25:50   books the matter of modern love Lisa oh [TS]

01:25:54   my gosh and then you've got Terrell [TS]

01:25:55   hallway [TS]

01:25:56   what is with his pants up to write blows [TS]

01:25:58   nipples and they're green [TS]

01:26:00   oh my gosh Wow his nipples or green hey [TS]

01:26:03   really nice to see a doctor about that [TS]

01:26:08   one dressed like to sit and the perma [TS]

01:26:11   smile [TS]

01:26:12   where's yes Marty once read in one [TS]

01:26:13   screen yes its fast o.o wow you've [TS]

01:26:19   derailed me feel I'm not the 1w [TS]

01:26:22   introduce the human centipede into this [TS]

01:26:24   podcast but I feel like it's kind of the [TS]

01:26:28   human centipede of Christmas carols [TS]

01:26:31   I can't wait to hear how this goes i do [TS]

01:26:39   have to point out that human centipede [TS]

01:26:40   is one situation where you don't want [TS]

01:26:42   anything to hurry down the chimney you [TS]

01:26:48   know you know he was a baritone before [TS]

01:26:50   he met Kevin Clash a young castrato [TS]

01:26:54   named Elmo I was just three years of [TS]

01:26:57   watching Elmo's World [TS]

01:26:59   every morning the only thing every every [TS]

01:27:02   morning when I was really c'mon we just [TS]

01:27:03   go misty nudo the barrel goes in your [TS]

01:27:06   mouth and NGOs return did not get in [TS]

01:27:13   trouble for doing that they care stately [TS]

01:27:15   we haven't reached that point in our [TS]

01:27:17   life yet I have reached the point right [TS]

01:27:19   I now say oh good elbows in this episode [TS]

01:27:21   of sesame street [TS]

01:27:23   oh okay well thank God almost here [TS]

01:27:25   because everyone will quiet down because [TS]

01:27:27   it's Elmo yeah but then the Stockholm [TS]

01:27:31   Syndrome know how Jesus Christ it's the [TS]

01:27:36   reason that although we all wait for [TS]

01:27:40   that joke was that I go back to the [TS]

01:27:45   human centipede show [TS]

01:27:47   thatthat's the sequel going out today [TS]

01:27:50   because it like covers all four seats [TS]

01:27:53   are counting the year it's like [TS]

01:27:55   everyone's I just called to say I love [TS]

01:27:56   you [TS]

01:27:57   yeah or Neil Sedaka his calendar girl [TS]

01:27:59   and shudders through the podcast yeah [TS]

01:28:05   you know I mean without cop to liking [TS]

01:28:07   the song but I can also see where lots [TS]

01:28:08   of people don't and that's perfectly [TS]

01:28:10   fine i used to do when I did stand-up [TS]

01:28:12   comedy I used to do a bit and I'm sorry [TS]

01:28:15   to even bring this up i used to do a bit [TS]

01:28:16   where was Neil Young would sing Neil [TS]

01:28:18   Sedaka haha [TS]

01:28:20   and so I had no young singing calendar [TS]

01:28:22   girl and it is a miracle the audience [TS]

01:28:24   did not rise as one Jeremy from limb to [TS]

01:28:26   limb because that is just that's a [TS]

01:28:30   terrible terrible bit future stand-up [TS]

01:28:33   comics don't do that we are already been [TS]

01:28:35   all my life comedy killer [TS]

01:28:39   no well no but look there's even there [TS]

01:28:44   even covers of Christmas wrapping for [TS]

01:28:46   example the band save ferris actually [TS]

01:28:48   did a Jewish version of Christmas [TS]

01:28:50   wrapping where they talk about what it's [TS]

01:28:51   like to be Jewish through the month of [TS]

01:28:53   december and they said it to to that [TS]

01:28:55   song instead it was and and to me that I [TS]

01:28:57   don't miss is a lot haha but to me that [TS]

01:29:01   means there's like a little bit of [TS]

01:29:02   cultural resonance when people take the [TS]

01:29:03   song and try to make it their own a [TS]

01:29:04   retail areas like with Christmas shoes [TS]

01:29:06   you don't see like christina aguilera [TS]

01:29:08   trying to say yet [TS]

01:29:09   NP just provided me the world's flat is [TS]

01:29:12   locked haha that's frying in the pan [TS]

01:29:17   nice and hot I vegas 10 boy also man [TS]

01:29:24   here and bury my dad had was a name of [TS]

01:29:28   that enable veteran have been a nuclear [TS]

01:29:31   subs and Soviet waters and he went and [TS]

01:29:33   then worked in military contracting as [TS]

01:29:35   so many military veterans do so all of [TS]

01:29:37   his pals are like former Army Rangers [TS]

01:29:40   and Marines who had polished human [TS]

01:29:42   skulls as i'm not i'm not making this up [TS]

01:29:44   they used to have polished human skulls [TS]

01:29:46   that they use like paper weights and and [TS]

01:29:48   these are men who are generally of the [TS]

01:29:50   viciously unscented military mind and [TS]

01:29:53   apparently liked all of them had been [TS]

01:29:54   reduced to tears by this song because [TS]

01:29:56   our the Lord works in mysterious ways [TS]

01:29:58   and and we [TS]

01:29:59   reminders all the time to watch out for [TS]

01:30:00   those that are more vulnerable than we [TS]

01:30:01   are and my dad got so angry as he [TS]

01:30:04   thought you said about left kostely and [TS]

01:30:07   it's it's it's it's the most it's the [TS]

01:30:09   most banal drink it's basically this own [TS]

01:30:11   small towns we often lose track of each [TS]

01:30:14   other in busy times we have to know [TS]

01:30:16   what's really important and what's [TS]

01:30:17   really important is apparently like [TS]

01:30:18   regurgitating the path that you find [TS]

01:30:20   inside of hallmark cards where the idea [TS]

01:30:23   of providing for your family a secondary [TS]

01:30:25   to appreciating your family and people [TS]

01:30:28   die you have to find meaning in their [TS]

01:30:30   debts and it's just too bad that they [TS]

01:30:31   die but you know that's the way it is as [TS]

01:30:33   long as you've learned something that's [TS]

01:30:34   all good and it's just it's it's that [TS]

01:30:37   values free morality where where the all [TS]

01:30:39   I've learned something important it [TS]

01:30:41   really makes you think and it's it's [TS]

01:30:42   basically it's it's it's I I can't help [TS]

01:30:45   but think the people who founded [TS]

01:30:46   upworthy we're probably raised on these [TS]

01:30:48   books he said we killed this child's [TS]

01:30:50   mother at Christmastime wait till you [TS]

01:30:52   see what happened next exit and it went [TS]

01:30:54   from there [TS]

01:30:55   wait till you see what Rob Lowe does [TS]

01:30:56   next oh yeah no it's just it's awful and [TS]

01:30:59   in the writings pedestrian and and I am [TS]

01:31:02   I believe the books were based on the [TS]

01:31:03   song and the movies were based on the [TS]

01:31:05   books yes that's how it works oh ok [TS]

01:31:07   alright so they're not novelizations of [TS]

01:31:08   the movies [TS]

01:31:09   no I'm not know if you can create movies [TS]

01:31:12   like that out of thin air friend it [TS]

01:31:14   clearly no I'm and apparently interview [TS]

01:31:18   is hiring was like look the reason I did [TS]

01:31:20   that Christmas shoes movies because sa [TS]

01:31:22   ji has a really great insurance but you [TS]

01:31:24   have to work so many hours a year in [TS]

01:31:26   order to get the top-tier insurance and [TS]

01:31:28   I wanted the insurance so i did the [TS]

01:31:30   movie [TS]

01:31:30   thanks Obama but I appreciate that he [TS]

01:31:35   was like really upfront with look I just [TS]

01:31:37   did this because I get really great [TS]

01:31:38   ensure that but because you know who who [TS]

01:31:41   can relate to how well you know the job [TS]

01:31:43   sometimes but the benefits if there's a [TS]

01:31:46   lot of killing that goes on in those [TS]

01:31:47   Christmas shoot movies somebody's always [TS]

01:31:49   dying someone is always don't like the [TS]

01:31:52   body count is to the rough [TS]

01:31:54   well that's what I want to see a [TS]

01:31:55   christmas to is dying dying miserable [TS]

01:31:58   people now every every Christmas song [TS]

01:32:00   that doesn't feature good death is [TS]

01:32:02   really a Christmas song wasted which i [TS]

01:32:04   believe is why pattern so easy christmas [TS]

01:32:06   and the Christmas shoes at the two [TS]

01:32:07   greatest christmas songs ever written [TS]

01:32:09   I watched die hard for your body count [TS]

01:32:12   your action movie your Beethoven come to [TS]

01:32:15   the party pal but but the mouse lived [TS]

01:32:17   the Christmas it was the Christmas [TS]

01:32:20   secrets that Chris helmet that is both [TS]

01:32:21   very good to me as holiday happy [TS]

01:32:23   Christmas secret starts with a [TS]

01:32:28   struggling young single mother saving [TS]

01:32:30   the life of an elderly woman who believe [TS]

01:32:33   living like different shall be done [TS]

01:32:35   someone has to die [TS]

01:32:36   the dyson yeah although you know there's [TS]

01:32:39   a war on Christmas alright and Donna's [TS]

01:32:41   and later is the general city people [TS]

01:32:43   into the into the artillery so what's [TS]

01:32:45   really interesting is you like one on [TS]

01:32:46   wikipedia go through and find [TS]

01:32:48   exhaustively detailed biographies on [TS]

01:32:51   almost every character in the DC and [TS]

01:32:52   Marvel Universe you have an author who [TS]

01:32:54   has managed to knock out over ten [TS]

01:32:57   fictional books and all it is is donovan [TS]

01:33:00   only areas in the American author of [TS]

01:33:01   fiction primarily novels about Christmas [TS]

01:33:03   like nobody on wikipedia wants to admit [TS]

01:33:06   that they've read these books or have [TS]

01:33:07   any idea what they're about [TS]

01:33:08   of course it wasn't that sounds like I [TS]

01:33:10   think we've got everything i think i [TS]

01:33:13   think we I think we reveal some of the [TS]

01:33:14   editorial biases of wikipedia no I think [TS]

01:33:16   we have a in conquerable listener [TS]

01:33:17   challenges if the lefty biography of [TS]

01:33:20   time [TS]

01:33:20   alright just please be and if you can do [TS]

01:33:22   the bibliographies to please write up [TS]

01:33:25   summaries for these book for the [TS]

01:33:26   Christmas books they don't have to back [TS]

01:33:27   great we just have to make sure the body [TS]

01:33:30   count is is well again is listed in each [TS]

01:33:33   one yes that needs to be accurate with [TS]

01:33:35   community has standards yes [TS]

01:33:37   so let's summarize here we have we have [TS]

01:33:40   said terrible things about a wonderful [TS]

01:33:42   holiday know we've said terrible things [TS]

01:33:44   that people see about a wonderful [TS]

01:33:45   holiday there's a difference you know [TS]

01:33:47   honestly I was a little down on this [TS]

01:33:48   holiday but now not so much because i [TS]

01:33:50   heard that kid day so that happen no [TS]

01:33:53   dyes in the second one his mom dies in [TS]

01:33:55   the first one a different child dies in [TS]

01:33:57   the second one in the third one mother [TS]

01:33:58   is mo dad and the Christmas tree mark [TS]

01:34:00   it's the kid live look at lives [TS]

01:34:03   throughout he becomes a doctor p would [TS]

01:34:05   if it ends happily he leaves a trail of [TS]

01:34:07   bodies wherever he goes he's not a very [TS]

01:34:09   good doctor now [TS]

01:34:10   yeah he spent a lot of time in a [TS]

01:34:11   hospital as a kid so we just feels [TS]

01:34:13   comfortable there and then he joined the [TS]

01:34:15   circus [TS]

01:34:17   sometimes you kind of killing things [TS]

01:34:20   your life has enjoyed clowning as a [TS]

01:34:24   child [TS]

01:34:25   it's a shame the buttons a clown did not [TS]

01:34:28   Bob did not really serious with himself [TS]

01:34:31   with you yet i'll be home for christmas [TS]

01:34:34   i'm on the run for murder but I'm on the [TS]

01:34:38   lam [TS]

01:34:39   would you like to stay for awhile film I [TS]

01:34:43   think I need to go here have another [TS]

01:34:46   glass [TS]

01:34:47   no I put another log on the fire [TS]

01:34:50   yeah my middle contracts are off the [TS]

01:34:52   chart my pilot is waiting for me [TS]

01:34:59   no honestly I'm not interested to sing [TS]

01:35:05   us out tonight a very special musical [TS]

01:35:08   number by Steve what's [TS]

01:35:12   oh no that's what Christmas ready if I [TS]

01:35:15   can play that at the end right now if ya [TS]

01:35:18   you might want to throw in the after to [TS]

01:35:19   hurt [TS]

01:35:46   red [TS]

01:35:48   press your route [TS]

01:35:50   Michelle [TS]

01:35:53   it's [TS]

01:35:59   you want sure miss [TS]

01:36:04   you [TS]

01:36:10   sweater with sneads [TS]

01:36:15   he was there [TS]

01:36:16   Oh [TS]

01:36:19   where we [TS]

01:36:31   made [TS]

01:36:33   lunch box whiskey one again [TS]

01:36:45   son of self-love [TS]

01:36:48   nothing but one Christmas stocking and [TS]

01:36:51   you [TS]

01:36:53   Marcus tried [TS]

01:36:55   soon [TS]

01:37:03   just and so I say [TS]

01:37:05   where [TS]

01:37:08   prison [TS]

01:37:24   what god stop any sake [TS]

01:37:28   some other guy running the show [TS]

01:37:35   as you love [TS]

01:37:36   in you [TS]

01:37:38   the guy hanging his balls on your tree [TS]

01:37:42   I [TS]

01:37:47   drinks [TS]

01:37:49   then someone must ask me [TS]

01:37:53   shot God every guess was a he [TS]

01:37:58   Nicki slip-on and me and him [TS]

01:38:04   really [TS]

01:38:11   just feel dirty [TS]

01:38:13   speaking Spanish and so on [TS]

01:38:17   were you friends [TS]