Roderick on the Line

Ep. 245: "An Ongoing Situation"


00:00:01   [Music] [TS]

00:00:05   hello hi John hi Merlin oh you sound [TS]

00:00:09   really good today [TS]

00:00:10   do I mm-hmm you do anything different [TS]

00:00:13   well I feel that you know using Markos [TS]

00:00:19   criteria hmm today is gonna be a little [TS]

00:00:22   bit of a rough background noise day okay [TS]

00:00:25   because you know he doesn't like [TS]

00:00:27   background noise and I've got so the the [TS]

00:00:32   the Washington Washington State College [TS]

00:00:36   the the Cougars people across the street [TS]

00:00:40   who are rehabilitating Jamaica's house [TS]

00:00:43   they have a lab one of those little mini [TS]

00:00:46   cats out there today oh of course [TS]

00:00:50   so they're mini Katan mm-hmm and then [TS]

00:00:53   it's that season in Seattle when the [TS]

00:00:56   when the Sun comes out and all the [TS]

00:00:59   airplanes go into the sky at once [TS]

00:01:02   because everybody here that wants to be [TS]

00:01:04   in an airplane says this is my moment [TS]

00:01:07   and rolls their airplane season its [TS]

00:01:09   airplane season big time so from a [TS]

00:01:12   background noise standpoint I mean just [TS]

00:01:13   a few moments ago I was I was like how [TS]

00:01:18   is this going to work because they were [TS]

00:01:19   unloading the mini cat and some kind of [TS]

00:01:22   like Paraguay and demonstration jet [TS]

00:01:27   demonstration team was flying overhead [TS]

00:01:28   and I was like this all those [TS]

00:01:31   paraguayans they loved the [TS]

00:01:33   demonstrations it really did they love [TS]

00:01:34   the they want to put on a show it's part [TS]

00:01:36   of the culture way yeah [TS]

00:01:38   well apologies if I don't I thought [TS]

00:01:40   assume worker listen to the show I think [TS]

00:01:42   I think he did at one point but you know [TS]

00:01:43   Marco I'm sorry it's it's it's hard I [TS]

00:01:46   was on a show recently where one of the [TS]

00:01:48   sides of the recording took place [TS]

00:01:49   sometimes on a beach and they were able [TS]

00:01:52   to record background ambient Beach noise [TS]

00:01:54   and use some kind of black magic to [TS]

00:01:57   remove that particular range from the [TS]

00:01:59   recording oh it's crazy what you can do [TS]

00:02:02   if you try i right now I'm it's not not [TS]

00:02:05   go crazy here ya know but I mean a lot [TS]

00:02:07   of the a lot of my just intrinsic [TS]

00:02:10   background noise that just follows me [TS]

00:02:12   everywhere is the sound of a beach [TS]

00:02:15   no another I don't if I put these words [TS]

00:02:18   but I just wanna say that whatever [TS]

00:02:19   happens in the show is in the show this [TS]

00:02:22   is all right part of the show right I [TS]

00:02:26   think that's why people here I remember [TS]

00:02:27   I feel like in our classic episode a [TS]

00:02:29   supercar toid that we talked about you [TS]

00:02:32   know there are things that we could do [TS]

00:02:34   there there are hacks then we could [TS]

00:02:37   deploy but we're not going to do that [TS]

00:02:38   because that's something that's not part [TS]

00:02:39   of the show hacks aren't the show know [TS]

00:02:41   that cheb the show is not about hacks we [TS]

00:02:44   could do a life hacks episode you know [TS]

00:02:46   what we should do a show called hacks [TS]

00:02:47   hacks oh wait a minute [TS]

00:02:49   hmm I bet we'd went ahead phony for that [TS]

00:02:52   oh is that like an ear wolf show is that [TS]

00:02:55   one is comedy podcasts you know what I [TS]

00:02:57   don't understand comedy at all I don't [TS]

00:03:00   understand comedy podcasts I can't I [TS]

00:03:03   can't tolerate him but what is a comedy [TS]

00:03:04   podcast you know what I mean yeah I [TS]

00:03:07   guess you you know what they did card [TS]

00:03:09   podcasts or we have comedy people on and [TS]

00:03:13   they do comedy and then the other [TS]

00:03:15   friends who do comedy on and they do [TS]

00:03:17   comedy together yeah comedy together [TS]

00:03:19   counting together comedy together oh [TS]

00:03:22   yeah I think are funny aren't are mostly [TS]

00:03:25   people who are not formally funny for a [TS]

00:03:28   living have you noticed that the other [TS]

00:03:31   thing you parked on the driveway you [TS]

00:03:32   drive on the Parkway every once in a [TS]

00:03:34   while I'll meet a comedian who's [TS]

00:03:36   actually funny funny person what's in a [TS]

00:03:39   while yeah yeah but but it's not the [TS]

00:03:41   regular thing but like yeah I got I got [TS]

00:03:44   friends that like work in libraries that [TS]

00:03:46   are way funnier than most convenience [TS]

00:03:48   mm-hmm shit Merlin I've got friends that [TS]

00:03:51   clean libraries that are funnier than [TS]

00:03:52   most comedians [TS]

00:03:55   basura yeah it's you know it sounds mean [TS]

00:04:00   to say oh I know everything does yeah [TS]

00:04:03   that's probably about every day not [TS]

00:04:05   everything's fraught yeah but yeah yeah [TS]

00:04:08   I don't know it's just you've been to [TS]

00:04:13   comedy things we performed we performed [TS]

00:04:15   a comedy things okay how many people are [TS]

00:04:19   not funny in person some of them are I [TS]

00:04:21   mean you take a Jonathan Coulton [TS]

00:04:22   Jonathan Colin's a very funny guy but [TS]

00:04:24   he's not a comedy person he's not [TS]

00:04:26   technically a comedy person no [TS]

00:04:28   not a comedy person there are a few [TS]

00:04:31   there a few which I will busman's [TS]

00:04:33   holiday do you think it's something were [TS]

00:04:35   like no no no I know that they you know [TS]

00:04:36   Brooke Joel McHale Joel McHale all the [TS]

00:04:40   greats [TS]

00:04:41   Joel McHale is a great guy easy money [TS]

00:04:44   God Chris Chris Hardwick that's that's [TS]

00:04:46   one of the nicest people you'll ever [TS]

00:04:47   meet [TS]

00:04:47   he's a funny guy he's funny and he's [TS]

00:04:49   nice he's like a normal person [TS]

00:04:51   oh nice and funny that's see maybe [TS]

00:04:53   that's it then handsome very handsome he [TS]

00:04:55   wear suits to fit I've always admired [TS]

00:04:56   that about him he's small though right [TS]

00:04:58   he's very small he's almost pocket-sized [TS]

00:05:00   yeah he doesn't seem big when you look [TS]

00:05:02   at him on television he's like one point [TS]

00:05:04   to Dan Benjamins one point to Dan [TS]

00:05:07   Benjamins well maybe maybe 1.09 mmm-hmm [TS]

00:05:13   one point to Dan Benjamins is a is a [TS]

00:05:15   measurement of heat right it's yeah yeah [TS]

00:05:18   so you kill it you tell the bulk bag [TS]

00:05:21   thermally you know uh I'm a horse today [TS]

00:05:24   I'm a pony [TS]

00:05:24   hmm I don't know why um I'm pretty [TS]

00:05:28   frazzled I got a say I sent you a text [TS]

00:05:31   at five o'clock on the plane last night [TS]

00:05:32   you did I think sounds like your sleep [TS]

00:05:34   got disrupted it said Merlin it's five [TS]

00:05:37   a.m. [TS]

00:05:37   normally I it's one of the longest [TS]

00:05:39   tweets you've ever sent me I think [TS]

00:05:41   normally I you know I'll send you a [TS]

00:05:43   little text at two minutes before we're [TS]

00:05:45   about to go on and say hey can we push [TS]

00:05:48   this back a little bit I see that yeah [TS]

00:05:51   but I had some foresight last night and [TS]

00:05:53   said Merlin it's 5:00 in the morning I'm [TS]

00:05:55   still not asleep can we push our show [TS]

00:05:57   back a couple of hours you're [TS]

00:05:58   practically a project manager and look [TS]

00:06:00   at you you were just like fine I am [TS]

00:06:03   flexible and ready to do whatever it [TS]

00:06:07   takes [TS]

00:06:08   oh here we are two hours later so did [TS]

00:06:13   you finally get to sleep around 5:00 I [TS]

00:06:15   did you know I was I was doing that [TS]

00:06:17   thing that I do sometimes which is I [TS]

00:06:19   push it right to the wall where I was so [TS]

00:06:23   tired but I just wouldn't go to sleep [TS]

00:06:26   it's not that I couldn't go to sleep I [TS]

00:06:28   sip you wouldn't go to sleep [TS]

00:06:31   and right there 4:30 5:00 in the morning [TS]

00:06:34   I was like you bastard [TS]

00:06:37   the light was starting to come up in the [TS]

00:06:39   sky [TS]

00:06:40   birds were tweeting and I was like you [TS]

00:06:43   son-of-a-bitch [TS]

00:06:44   go to goddamn sleep and then whatever [TS]

00:06:47   that other thing is was like now and not [TS]

00:06:51   big boy yeah and so I did whatever and [TS]

00:06:56   something dumb I watched you know Stalag [TS]

00:06:59   17 hmm 215 minute movie now I'm not [TS]

00:07:05   going to bed and then finally I was just [TS]

00:07:06   like oh my god I pad so I did I went to [TS]

00:07:10   sleep at five and is it the dread of how [TS]

00:07:13   you'll feel the next day [TS]

00:07:15   what is the when you're finally able to [TS]

00:07:17   shout down that four-year-old boy voice [TS]

00:07:19   what it what is the thing that finally [TS]

00:07:21   tips the scales you say I got you man [TS]

00:07:23   this is crazy I think it is that I do [TS]

00:07:26   have things to do in the day because in [TS]

00:07:28   the old days when I didn't have [TS]

00:07:30   something to do the next day I would [TS]

00:07:32   just I would just go and go and go my [TS]

00:07:34   mom would wake up because my you know my [TS]

00:07:36   mom would wake up that's us back when we [TS]

00:07:38   lived together my mom make up about five [TS]

00:07:40   and I'd hear her puttering around and I [TS]

00:07:43   would go downstairs always an unpleasant [TS]

00:07:46   surprise for her because her 5:30 a.m. [TS]

00:07:50   time is her time oh sure she gets a lot [TS]

00:07:54   accomplished in the early morning she [TS]

00:07:55   does it but you know that's her time to [TS]

00:07:57   sit and read the newspaper and have her [TS]

00:07:59   coffee and get her thing going and I [TS]

00:08:00   would come bumbling down in my bathrobe [TS]

00:08:02   like good morning and she'd be like oh [TS]

00:08:05   so I would get a cup of coffee my you [TS]

00:08:09   know 5:30 a.m. coffee and we would sit [TS]

00:08:11   and read the newspaper together in [TS]

00:08:13   silence which is one of the things we [TS]

00:08:15   used to do that that gave us both an [TS]

00:08:18   enormous amount of pleasure and it was [TS]

00:08:19   just okay be silent we would just sit [TS]

00:08:22   there and be quiet and read the [TS]

00:08:23   newspaper and drink coffee and I said [TS]

00:08:25   that's a nice relationship to have yeah [TS]

00:08:27   she was just coming online and I was [TS]

00:08:29   starting to go offline and right about [TS]

00:08:34   the time that she would start to get [TS]

00:08:36   chatty about the news says here that the [TS]

00:08:42   Port Commission is going to eminent [TS]

00:08:45   domain some warehouses I would I'd you [TS]

00:08:48   know I'd field a couple of those with my [TS]

00:08:50   badminton racket and then I would say [TS]

00:08:53   I should probably get into sleep yeah [TS]

00:08:57   and then I would you know tootle off and [TS]

00:09:00   she would start her day so there were a [TS]

00:09:01   few there well not a few there were [TS]

00:09:03   quite a few eras where where I would I [TS]

00:09:08   would I would push my sleep envelope all [TS]

00:09:10   the way over to the other day oh you do [TS]

00:09:14   like a wraparound I do a wraparound yeah [TS]

00:09:17   geez yes it's really hard it's you know [TS]

00:09:19   the wraparound I get real goofy yeah [TS]

00:09:23   it's been it's been so it's been really [TS]

00:09:24   since our daughter was a you know an [TS]

00:09:26   infant probably excepting the occasional [TS]

00:09:29   like you know health thing I just don't [TS]

00:09:33   do that anymore [TS]

00:09:33   I can't do that anymore yeah that's [TS]

00:09:35   tough I don't recover it's so [TS]

00:09:37   complicated when you live with other [TS]

00:09:39   people because you have to find I mean [TS]

00:09:41   even if you live in a big American place [TS]

00:09:43   I mean you know but by international [TS]

00:09:46   standards our you know our houses are [TS]

00:09:47   pretty huge but even then you have to [TS]

00:09:51   have a lot of culture and understanding [TS]

00:09:55   about people's spaces I know that this [TS]

00:09:58   seems really obvious but it's something [TS]

00:10:00   I've been thinking about lately as my [TS]

00:10:01   kid gets older it's like having an [TS]

00:10:03   understanding about like you know what [TS]

00:10:05   if you have to go to the bathroom and [TS]

00:10:07   someone is in there like what if [TS]

00:10:08   somebody is doing a thing over here like [TS]

00:10:10   should you just kind of leave them alone [TS]

00:10:12   if your wife says she's just gonna rest [TS]

00:10:14   her eyes and you say why don't you just [TS]

00:10:16   call it an average says I'm just gonna [TS]

00:10:17   rest my eyes you know the kind of means [TS]

00:10:18   you know don't be in the room know what [TS]

00:10:20   I mean and I feel like this some of [TS]

00:10:21   those things we talked about some of the [TS]

00:10:22   things we don't talk about but like it's [TS]

00:10:25   the ways that you give each other space [TS]

00:10:27   in a house can be very complicated [TS]

00:10:30   yeah and super important my goodness [TS]

00:10:33   like I say I know it seems obvious but [TS]

00:10:36   like in practice and and in evolution [TS]

00:10:38   you know you think about things like to [TS]

00:10:40   go on but things like okay like you [TS]

00:10:42   change like you know where the TV is or [TS]

00:10:46   you change like you know move stuff [TS]

00:10:47   around in the dining room and like [TS]

00:10:49   somebody's space gets disrupted and if [TS]

00:10:52   you don't honor that that was somebody's [TS]

00:10:54   space without acknowledging it you know [TS]

00:10:57   it gets complicated uh this is starting [TS]

00:11:00   to sound like a George Carlin routine [TS]

00:11:01   you got your stops so we're talking [TS]

00:11:05   about evolution is what you're saying [TS]

00:11:07   yeah I think the way John John John [TS]

00:11:09   siracusa says you know it's a lucian [TS]

00:11:11   area biologist said Sadek yours no seer [TS]

00:11:13   no seer no Z said said said Kusa Musa I [TS]

00:11:17   am you know for years and years of [TS]

00:11:20   course I've been I've been saying sort [TS]

00:11:22   of out loud as an explanatory uh you [TS]

00:11:26   know caveat about myself that I'm an [TS]

00:11:28   that I'm an introvert yes just I've been [TS]

00:11:31   saying that for a long time I'm starting [TS]

00:11:32   stand chewing on that and I it's a very [TS]

00:11:34   interesting thought technology I've been [TS]

00:11:36   saying it I've been saying it forever [TS]

00:11:38   because it it does accurately reflect [TS]

00:11:42   you know the sort of classic description [TS]

00:11:45   of an introvert as they as they are [TS]

00:11:49   trying to interact with the rest of the [TS]

00:11:50   world like nine out of ten of those line [TS]

00:11:53   up exactly with how I feel so it felt [TS]

00:11:56   very much like you know if if you [TS]

00:11:59   answered yes to more than four of these [TS]

00:12:01   15 questions then maybe you have a [TS]

00:12:03   problem with uh with with the diuretics [TS]

00:12:08   or whatever and I was like I just [TS]

00:12:10   answered 15 out of 15 here so it it's [TS]

00:12:13   very explanatory but what I've realized [TS]

00:12:15   is that is not it is not completely [TS]

00:12:18   explanatory obviously but also sharing [TS]

00:12:21   space with other people where you want [TS]

00:12:23   them there is is like so complex I think [TS]

00:12:29   for everybody and and like I don't mind [TS]

00:12:35   people being around me it turns out I [TS]

00:12:37   don't mind people in my house and in my [TS]

00:12:40   space but I but that it but there needs [TS]

00:12:44   to be a very nice dance there's a very [TS]

00:12:48   nice dance that happens uh-huh and the [TS]

00:12:52   other people have to also be really in [TS]

00:12:55   the dance and it turns out you know one [TS]

00:12:57   of the problems with me one of the [TS]

00:12:59   reasons that I've never been married is [TS]

00:13:01   that I don't like people touching my [TS]

00:13:02   feet in the night mm-hmm don't touch my [TS]

00:13:04   feet even really clear about that though [TS]

00:13:06   haven't yeah that's really hard it's [TS]

00:13:07   hard though people like to touch feet [TS]

00:13:09   the thing is I love if you touch my feet [TS]

00:13:12   in the afternoon if I'm sitting on the [TS]

00:13:16   couch and I'm reading a novel and you [TS]

00:13:18   come sit at the other end of the couch [TS]

00:13:20   and [TS]

00:13:20   and touch my feet you can even grab and [TS]

00:13:24   hold my feet do you put put my feet [TS]

00:13:27   right in your lap this is in the [TS]

00:13:28   afternoon though it's me afternoon in [TS]

00:13:30   the early evening if you want to if you [TS]

00:13:33   want to sit and pet my feet I will just [TS]

00:13:37   purr I'll purr like a mountain lion a [TS]

00:13:40   little pause just for error error error [TS]

00:13:45   but I'm gonna say don't touch my feet in [TS]

00:13:49   the morning and in the middle of the [TS]

00:13:54   night when I am sleeping don't get [TS]

00:13:57   around there and mess with them save it [TS]

00:13:59   for the afternoon afternoon and evening [TS]

00:14:01   that so that is a great time if you're [TS]

00:14:03   feeling fede to come you know like have [TS]

00:14:08   some feet time yeah the middle of the [TS]

00:14:10   night keep your feet over there and I'll [TS]

00:14:12   keep my feet over here he is very clear [TS]

00:14:15   it seems very clear yeah but it also [TS]

00:14:16   just seemed so normal to me like who [TS]

00:14:19   what I'm sure there are people in fact I [TS]

00:14:21   knew a girl that if you touched her feet [TS]

00:14:24   she would scream not not a good way not [TS]

00:14:27   in a good way [TS]

00:14:28   there was she had some thing and I could [TS]

00:14:31   never exactly figure out what she was [TS]

00:14:32   talking about but she had a thing don't [TS]

00:14:35   touch my feet thing and the first time I [TS]

00:14:40   touched her feet it was in public it was [TS]

00:14:44   in a room full of friends and I and the [TS]

00:14:49   other people had known her for a lot [TS]

00:14:51   longer than I had oh boy [TS]

00:14:52   and I touched her feet [TS]

00:14:58   put a hand on her feet and the room went [TS]

00:15:03   gasp oh no you're the only one who [TS]

00:15:06   didn't know I was the only one that [TS]

00:15:08   didn't know and I looked around I was [TS]

00:15:11   like what and a good friend of mine and [TS]

00:15:15   actually Merlin he's a friend of ours as [TS]

00:15:17   we say it's not just a friend of mine [TS]

00:15:21   he's a friend of ours he said to her I [TS]

00:15:25   can't believe what I'm seeing right now [TS]

00:15:27   and she said through you know like you [TS]

00:15:33   know short breaths she said it's okay he [TS]

00:15:36   doesn't know and I was like what is [TS]

00:15:41   going on and our friend yours and mine [TS]

00:15:45   said I've never seen anyone touch her [TS]

00:15:48   feet where she didn't scream like bloody [TS]

00:15:50   murder scream and I took my head off her [TS]

00:15:52   foot and I was like whoa what's why is [TS]

00:15:55   it are you injured and it was then I had [TS]

00:15:58   this whole conversation about like no [TS]

00:15:59   that's her thing don't touch her feet [TS]

00:16:01   and it was i I was affectionate gesture [TS]

00:16:05   she and I were having an affection at [TS]

00:16:07   times and it had just I had not gotten [TS]

00:16:09   the bulletin and from that point on of [TS]

00:16:12   course then you're like oh oh geez you [TS]

00:16:14   know now I do know I've never actually [TS]

00:16:18   never actually experienced in her case a [TS]

00:16:21   foot the touched foot producing a screen [TS]

00:16:24   because I then stayed away I sure you [TS]

00:16:25   learn your lesson I didn't put hand on [TS]

00:16:27   foot but it was that it was not her [TS]

00:16:29   reaction it was the it was the crowd's [TS]

00:16:31   reaction when I touched her foot because [TS]

00:16:34   apparently they had all been completely [TS]

00:16:36   traumatized in the past by like even [TS]

00:16:39   accidentally touching her foot and just [TS]

00:16:40   like and as a community of foot touching [TS]

00:16:46   going on here that's it's a little bit [TS]

00:16:48   outside my range of information all [TS]

00:16:52   these people what is it about her feet [TS]

00:16:53   that makes people want to touch them you [TS]

00:16:55   know I think maybe it was just uh that [TS]

00:16:58   they were all in college together and [TS]

00:17:00   you know you're touching time sure you [TS]

00:17:03   end up in a closet with each other at [TS]

00:17:04   some point or another [TS]

00:17:06   and you're like you know trying to try [TS]

00:17:09   to get comfortable making making shoes [TS]

00:17:11   into pillows trying to just never let [TS]

00:17:13   the moment stop yes and and I think that [TS]

00:17:18   they'd all just had you know or or [TS]

00:17:20   they'd been in the room when someone [TS]

00:17:21   else touched her feet and and never you [TS]

00:17:25   know never wanted to revisit the moment [TS]

00:17:27   and I was keen I was coming along a [TS]

00:17:29   little bit later like this was these [TS]

00:17:31   post-college times I was the nuke I was [TS]

00:17:34   the new guy yeah [TS]

00:17:36   boy oh boy but but I also felt a little [TS]

00:17:39   bit special like I'm the one person that [TS]

00:17:42   she didn't see yeah you know maybe it's [TS]

00:17:45   just that you know she she found the one [TS]

00:17:47   that could touch her feet uh I have I I [TS]

00:17:51   just don't I found I found the one over [TS]

00:17:54   and over and none of them could touch my [TS]

00:17:56   feet in the night hmm [TS]

00:17:57   and I think I don't know why I mean I [TS]

00:17:59   don't want blankets on my feet at night [TS]

00:18:01   I'll have blankets on my feet for [TS]

00:18:04   different how my feet outer in depending [TS]

00:18:06   on different positions that I'm in it's [TS]

00:18:08   not anything I formerly you know like [TS]

00:18:11   worked out in my mind but like yeah yeah [TS]

00:18:13   in this position I want my left foot to [TS]

00:18:15   be out of the covers I do I do that [TS]

00:18:17   quite a bit left left foot out sometimes [TS]

00:18:19   like the other present when I'm sleeping [TS]

00:18:21   in like pokes near the pencil on the [TS]

00:18:22   foot and I really bugs me that's a [TS]

00:18:25   firing offense see that yeah you should [TS]

00:18:27   you should make that your thing mmm we [TS]

00:18:30   picky about how much you make your thing [TS]

00:18:31   that's the other part of being in a [TS]

00:18:32   house with people is that you know you [TS]

00:18:34   have to be circumspect about I mean easy [TS]

00:18:37   way to put it is you have to pick your [TS]

00:18:39   fights right you can't be a pill about [TS]

00:18:41   everything like you know I've said [TS]

00:18:43   before I have certain lines in the sand [TS]

00:18:44   like never move my keys oh like ideally [TS]

00:18:51   never move my wallet but like that stuff [TS]

00:18:53   stays here and that's how I keep from [TS]

00:18:54   going crazy keys and wallet go in the [TS]

00:18:56   keys and wallet place yeah I only got [TS]

00:18:58   two keys but still I get real panicky if [TS]

00:19:00   I if I can't find him you know cuz I [TS]

00:19:02   can't open doors and stuff sure I think [TS]

00:19:05   you gotta be everybody's got their [TS]

00:19:08   hang-ups and their hangups is too strong [TS]

00:19:11   a way to put it but everybody's got a [TS]

00:19:13   certain way that they are and I think [TS]

00:19:15   it's I think it's nice [TS]

00:19:18   to be sensitive to that fact and to not [TS]

00:19:21   make people feel weird or shameful about [TS]

00:19:24   like wanting things a certain way unless [TS]

00:19:26   it really really butts up in a you know [TS]

00:19:30   irreconcilable way with how you like to [TS]

00:19:32   do things I am well this is the thing [TS]

00:19:34   about the touching of the feet right [TS]

00:19:35   it's not a thing that comes up very [TS]

00:19:36   often yeah and if you want that to be [TS]

00:19:39   your thing [TS]

00:19:39   by all means I'm not gonna lie I'm not [TS]

00:19:43   gonna and no one should right get try [TS]

00:19:45   and get up inside your command post and [TS]

00:19:47   say what's going on here exactly doesn't [TS]

00:19:50   matter doesn't matter just that that's [TS]

00:19:51   the job to reprogram people people right [TS]

00:19:54   products if they've got 40 things like [TS]

00:19:57   that though it starts to become [TS]

00:19:59   difficult to accommodate it's like an [TS]

00:20:03   old person's medicine or like it's it's [TS]

00:20:05   complicated when you got a heart problem [TS]

00:20:06   because you got to take medicine but [TS]

00:20:08   then let's say you get like thin blood [TS]

00:20:10   and you got to take a blood thinner with [TS]

00:20:12   that like there's all kinds of weird [TS]

00:20:13   pharmaceutical synergies and things you [TS]

00:20:16   want to avoid yeah you know and that can [TS]

00:20:18   be a real juggling act now if you're a [TS]

00:20:19   person with what you say 40 60 you got [TS]

00:20:21   dozens of these kinds of things then [TS]

00:20:24   your life becomes complicated that's a [TS]

00:20:26   word that's a word that I keep using but [TS]

00:20:27   it's it work you know you know what one [TS]

00:20:30   of my things is I'm saying you're trying [TS]

00:20:31   to think of my things yeah lock the bolt [TS]

00:20:35   but don't lock the doorknob okay because [TS]

00:20:41   that way that way they know the bolt is [TS]

00:20:42   thrown the the people there are people [TS]

00:20:45   if they try if they try the the typical [TS]

00:20:48   door checking pseudo robber is going to [TS]

00:20:50   jiggle the the door handle and if the [TS]

00:20:53   they are going to assume if the door [TS]

00:20:55   handle is locked that the bolt is [TS]

00:20:56   probably not I have not even thought [TS]

00:21:00   about it that far sorry no no it's at [TS]

00:21:02   there's no there's no scheme to it [TS]

00:21:04   there's no rhyme or reason to it I hate [TS]

00:21:07   when people lock the little the little [TS]

00:21:11   flipper on the doorknob yeah it just [TS]

00:21:14   feels it's just an insult to me uh-huh I [TS]

00:21:16   was like it's like like just closing the [TS]

00:21:19   door and putting scotch tape on them see [TS]

00:21:20   yeah right right right exactly but there [TS]

00:21:22   are people that do it reflexively [TS]

00:21:24   because they're used to as they leave [TS]

00:21:26   their a doorknob Locker so they lock the [TS]

00:21:28   door knob and [TS]

00:21:29   do the bolt mm-hmm but when I come to my [TS]

00:21:32   own home and there's been somebody [TS]

00:21:35   visiting let's say somebody stopping by [TS]

00:21:37   somebody that's key to my place and I [TS]

00:21:40   put a hand on my doorknob and my [TS]

00:21:42   doorknob is locked oh boy oh man you're [TS]

00:21:45   gonna seem like an abundance of caution [TS]

00:21:47   probably they want to make sure all the [TS]

00:21:49   locks are locked it's just a reflex it's [TS]

00:21:51   the same thing with the toilet seats [TS]

00:21:52   people you know reflexively do things [TS]

00:21:55   right that's they they just have a thing [TS]

00:21:57   that they just that's how they are [TS]

00:21:59   comfortable and they like I don't [TS]

00:22:01   believe anybody ever walks out of the [TS]

00:22:02   house and locks a doorknob um thinking [TS]

00:22:09   about it very much you know like I see [TS]

00:22:11   it's just a it's just a fear a doorknob [TS]

00:22:14   Locker and there I'm sure they're the [TS]

00:22:16   majority people are but uh but I'm not [TS]

00:22:20   and the reason is if you're a doorknob [TS]

00:22:22   Locker and the door swings shut then [TS]

00:22:25   you're locked out of the house huh [TS]

00:22:27   awesome yeah that's very good points [TS]

00:22:29   like a hotel room yeah right it's it so [TS]

00:22:32   did you have your keys on you I don't [TS]

00:22:33   know I was just going out in the garden [TS]

00:22:35   to water the peonies and now I'm locked [TS]

00:22:37   out of the house because somebody came [TS]

00:22:38   along and is a doorknob Locker and [TS]

00:22:40   that's not how we do here mm-hmm so I'll [TS]

00:22:43   you know that's like here to pull up a [TS]

00:22:46   chair I'm gonna explain this a couple of [TS]

00:22:49   times so that you don't do it you only [TS]

00:22:51   the system's I put in place to avoid [TS]

00:22:52   things like this because like I I [TS]

00:22:55   frequently I've said this Pierre before [TS]

00:22:57   I've said this in many other places that [TS]

00:22:59   I have certain things in life that are a [TS]

00:23:00   bulwark against madness that there are [TS]

00:23:02   certain kinds of things that when they [TS]

00:23:04   happen are so stupid and avoidable that [TS]

00:23:06   I'm extra double triple careful to keep [TS]

00:23:08   those kinds of things from happening [TS]

00:23:10   like you know in this case like you know [TS]

00:23:13   we've got a okay we've got a clock radio [TS]

00:23:15   that I like fine I never used the alarm [TS]

00:23:18   on the clock radio I look at the clock [TS]

00:23:20   and I listen to KQED that's all I do [TS]

00:23:23   uh-huh now say one thing about little [TS]

00:23:25   side note quick side note whenever I [TS]

00:23:26   turn on a radio I turn on hit the snooze [TS]

00:23:29   button so it'll turn off automatically [TS]

00:23:31   in that guidance Brady doesn't stay [TS]

00:23:33   honest always act like you're not going [TS]

00:23:34   to be around never set anything down in [TS]

00:23:36   a bathroom that you wouldn't want to be [TS]

00:23:38   there overnight right this way when you [TS]

00:23:40   go to a public restroom you see what I'm [TS]

00:23:41   saying it's all [TS]

00:23:42   logic real analytical so so well I like [TS]

00:23:45   my dream machine I like it fine never [TS]

00:23:47   use it for an alarm but it has these [TS]

00:23:49   little flimsy dials on top got two [TS]

00:23:52   different arms with two different [TS]

00:23:53   options sure I think it's a dream [TS]

00:23:55   message if literally a dream machine and [TS]

00:23:57   so I'm always I'm always batting at it [TS]

00:23:59   to either hit the snooze to turn on hit [TS]

00:24:01   the off to turn it off and I'll [TS]

00:24:02   accidentally hit a knob you see where [TS]

00:24:05   I'm going with this oh you hit a knob [TS]

00:24:06   gaffers tape a gaffers tape the dials [TS]

00:24:09   down so that they cannot move there you [TS]

00:24:10   go [TS]

00:24:11   that's just like a distortion box you [TS]

00:24:13   don't have to hear your phone's not [TS]

00:24:14   swinging around I'm get it you got put [TS]

00:24:17   systems in place yeah but you know this [TS]

00:24:19   leads to this hole this is a minefield [TS]

00:24:20   it's a minefield of rat holes but like [TS]

00:24:23   you know it gets into stuff I've talked [TS]

00:24:25   about a lot of other shows but like the [TS]

00:24:26   whole thing with kids and like I just I [TS]

00:24:29   know that like when you take your shoes [TS]

00:24:30   off keep them together keep the shoes [TS]

00:24:33   together [TS]

00:24:33   don't take a shoe walk for a while and [TS]

00:24:36   then take it off on another floor of the [TS]

00:24:38   house sure you're never gonna you're [TS]

00:24:41   always gonna be one shoe behind for the [TS]

00:24:43   rest of your life once you behind one [TS]

00:24:45   that is no way to live she's never leave [TS]

00:24:47   a shoe behind that's at the Marine Corps [TS]

00:24:49   Semper Fi [TS]

00:24:49   yeah you want you want them they want to [TS]

00:24:52   be together you want them to be together [TS]

00:24:53   you're gonna be so much happier [TS]

00:24:55   healthier and Welsh Aden mmm shot shot [TS]

00:24:59   right foods in happen I realize that in [TS]

00:25:05   the system systems that could be systems [TS]

00:25:07   were you just talking say don't touch [TS]

00:25:08   John's feet unless it's the afternoon or [TS]

00:25:10   early evening it's a very simple bit of [TS]

00:25:12   logic to come here's what here's is what [TS]

00:25:14   it is when you come home from work you [TS]

00:25:16   can immediately start touching my feet [TS]

00:25:18   all the way until we go to bed [TS]

00:25:19   let's just call it that that's the third [TS]

00:25:22   of the day that's that's that's that's [TS]

00:25:24   plenty of opportunity if a foot touching [TS]

00:25:26   event is going to make your day [TS]

00:25:28   hakuna matata do it John will welcome it [TS]

00:25:30   but when John I know that many things [TS]

00:25:32   you don't think so I think that haven't [TS]

00:25:35   lived with enough people to realize how [TS]

00:25:37   many you have from may be true it may be [TS]

00:25:39   true I like the dishwasher loaded a [TS]

00:25:41   certain way yes when I'm on a trash [TS]

00:25:43   taking out the trash no taking out the [TS]

00:25:45   trash I'm very you don't mind if [TS]

00:25:47   somebody doesn't break down boxes I'm [TS]

00:25:49   system agnostic there if you want to [TS]

00:25:51   throw a bunch of boxes in the recycling [TS]

00:25:52   that somebody down the chain is going to [TS]

00:25:54   be mad about that [TS]

00:25:55   I'm only gonna get any notes from me [TS]

00:25:58   somebody's gonna leave a note interstate [TS]

00:26:00   but there's me cubic inches of empty [TS]

00:26:02   space beans now in our limited amount [TS]

00:26:06   think about Davis sorry for the box [TS]

00:26:08   don't put his diaphragm in there it says [TS]

00:26:09   right on the see the lid it says right [TS]

00:26:10   there don't put styrofoam in there cuz [TS]

00:26:12   you know what happens they come there 5 [TS]

00:26:13   a.m. [TS]

00:26:14   bang bang bang they come to show I know [TS]

00:26:16   what they do they don't pick it up and [TS]

00:26:18   they leave you a note and they say you [TS]

00:26:20   know what like it says in the lid [TS]

00:26:21   don't put styrofoam in here guess what [TS]

00:26:23   we got a week now we're starting ok [TS]

00:26:25   starting with a full recycling container [TS]

00:26:28   just a simple so simple don't put things [TS]

00:26:30   into recycling they're not recycling [TS]

00:26:31   well see I don't share a recycling [TS]

00:26:33   container with anybody so everything [TS]

00:26:35   that goes in there is from my own house [TS]

00:26:36   and I feel like I feel like I'm I'm you [TS]

00:26:41   know like the whole garbage system I [TS]

00:26:43   it just happens as it happens right [TS]

00:26:45   let's just let it ride let it ride I [TS]

00:26:46   mean you know obviously there are some [TS]

00:26:48   things like don't oh don't leave an open [TS]

00:26:50   jar of jam on the counter because you're [TS]

00:26:52   gonna attract ants that's like it that [TS]

00:26:54   that's a mess that's why when ants [TS]

00:26:56   that's how you guys just that's just an [TS]

00:26:58   everybody thing right because that is [TS]

00:27:02   how you get ants you know don't come [TS]

00:27:04   around and start adjusting how dark my [TS]

00:27:07   toaster makes your toast ha ha without [TS]

00:27:10   sure adjusting it back when you're done [TS]

00:27:13   right like I don't want to come in in [TS]

00:27:15   the morning and throw some toast in [TS]

00:27:16   there and like your Bernie toast person [TS]

00:27:18   yeah Bernie bro but uh those don't exist [TS]

00:27:21   don't exist but really you know put it [TS]

00:27:23   in the middle put it like leave the [TS]

00:27:25   toaster brownness in the middle unless [TS]

00:27:27   you have your unfilled out and switch it [TS]

00:27:29   back you know that's right I do want if [TS]

00:27:31   you if you wash if do low to wash and it [TS]

00:27:34   has dress shirts in it or collared [TS]

00:27:36   shirts let's call them I don't put those [TS]

00:27:39   in the dryer I hang them up okay let's [TS]

00:27:41   hear drip dry your big guy you got long [TS]

00:27:43   arms you don't want this drink it up on [TS]

00:27:45   you don't want to drink yarn how about [TS]

00:27:46   us somebody somebody unloads the [TS]

00:27:48   dishwasher puts away the glasses and [TS]

00:27:50   mugs bottoms up for bottoms down you got [TS]

00:27:52   a thought I got bottoms up I do always [TS]

00:27:55   really yeah bottoms up now what about [TS]

00:27:58   what about copy founder okay wait a [TS]

00:28:00   minute I I do open part at the top [TS]

00:28:03   bottom down no I do open part at the [TS]

00:28:06   bottom like a bar like they're dripping [TS]

00:28:08   dry on a bar [TS]

00:28:09   that's right don't you worry and err do [TS]

00:28:11   you worry about dander on the contact [TS]

00:28:13   paper no no I mean do you worry about [TS]

00:28:15   silverfish getting in and making a nest [TS]

00:28:17   inside your coffee cup have we talked [TS]

00:28:19   about this no do a silverfish get in [TS]

00:28:22   your coffee cup no it feels familiar [TS]

00:28:23   getting deja vu the less you got spiders [TS]

00:28:26   right for you this makes a lot more [TS]

00:28:28   sense well but in the northwest we don't [TS]

00:28:30   have cup spiders oh you don't have cups [TS]

00:28:34   no that's from that's a different part [TS]

00:28:36   of the country no I was British indie [TS]

00:28:39   pop bands from the mid-2000s up spiders [TS]

00:28:41   got tough spiders you know what I think [TS]

00:28:43   it is [TS]

00:28:44   I learned primarily when I was growing [TS]

00:28:46   up at home my mom had so many systems [TS]

00:28:51   everything had a fucking she likes [TS]

00:28:53   things a certain way oh my god and if [TS]

00:28:55   you did things if you did put the dishes [TS]

00:28:58   away she would come in and redo it and [TS]

00:29:01   so what if I kind of get that well sure [TS]

00:29:05   but I learned at a young age don't [TS]

00:29:07   bother doing anything and that was not [TS]

00:29:09   the message she was trying to send oh I [TS]

00:29:11   see she was trying to teach me like how [TS]

00:29:15   to do things her way all the way right [TS]

00:29:18   but what it meant was if I did if I put [TS]

00:29:20   something and the thing is I had what [TS]

00:29:23   she got from me when I was a kid was [TS]

00:29:24   little bins little um what would have [TS]

00:29:27   been little plastic buckets that you [TS]

00:29:29   would wash dishes in or something you [TS]

00:29:31   remember those little lucky sort of sink [TS]

00:29:33   yeah like a square six inch to a inch [TS]

00:29:36   deep pan you fill with water right yeah [TS]

00:29:40   she got me let's say eight of those all [TS]

00:29:44   in orange rubberized plastic her orange [TS]

00:29:48   was my favorite color and they fit on [TS]

00:29:52   bookshelves in my room I see where this [TS]

00:29:55   is going and she was like here's how you [TS]

00:29:57   organize your toys and she put all the [TS]

00:29:59   Legos in one she put all the hot wheels [TS]

00:30:00   and once you put all the GI Joes in one [TS]

00:30:02   put all the tinker toys in one you know [TS]

00:30:04   like this [TS]

00:30:06   and so I would start playing and I was I [TS]

00:30:09   was a mix and I was a mixed toys kid you [TS]

00:30:13   know I would build a Lego fort and then [TS]

00:30:16   I would the hot wheel cars would be [TS]

00:30:19   interacting with it the whole day that's [TS]

00:30:21   a terrific style of play you know they [TS]

00:30:23   drive up to the Lego fort and then there [TS]

00:30:26   would be some there would be a tinker [TS]

00:30:28   toy bridge over to a GI Joe you know [TS]

00:30:31   this is that this this this and so forth [TS]

00:30:34   and so she would come in and say clean [TS]

00:30:36   up your room and I would put these toys [TS]

00:30:39   together into a bin because they were [TS]

00:30:43   related at this point I was in the midst [TS]

00:30:48   of a story and they were all going in [TS]

00:30:51   the bin because these Legos and these GI [TS]

00:30:54   Joes right now were related to one [TS]

00:30:55   another and she would come in and it [TS]

00:30:58   would drive her bananas because this bin [TS]

00:31:01   is labeled Legos oh sure I wanted GI [TS]

00:31:05   Joes in it and so she would she would [TS]

00:31:10   split it all up she would redo it she [TS]

00:31:12   would break everything back down to [TS]

00:31:14   first principles and I was like but I [TS]

00:31:17   was in the middle of an unfinished story [TS]

00:31:21   that I was going to come back to and [TS]

00:31:23   maybe for two months the GI Joes would [TS]

00:31:25   be in the Lego pin but it's you know [TS]

00:31:27   like I do have a system but it and so [TS]

00:31:33   eventually I was just like you know what [TS]

00:31:34   it putting them away is the same as just [TS]

00:31:38   leaving them out for you to put away [TS]

00:31:39   because it's not like it's double work [TS]

00:31:43   like I do the work and then you redo it [TS]

00:31:45   so why not why don't I just pretend that [TS]

00:31:47   I that I didn't hear you and I and that [TS]

00:31:50   really set me in life that wasn't set me [TS]

00:31:52   on a course for the rest of my life [TS]

00:31:53   right Lord I just pretend that I didn't [TS]

00:31:55   hear you and then you can do however you [TS]

00:31:57   want yeah I mean that probably kind of [TS]

00:31:59   works you know but but so I didn't [TS]

00:32:01   really ever put away dishes at home it [TS]

00:32:06   wasn't my job was to mow the lawn and to [TS]

00:32:09   vacuum the house but like dishwasher [TS]

00:32:14   stuff it was just like forget it right [TS]

00:32:17   there were so many systems around [TS]

00:32:19   the dishwasher that I just never even [TS]

00:32:21   looked at it so I learned to put away [TS]

00:32:23   dishes when I started working in bars [TS]

00:32:24   uh-huh it's exactly what had happened [TS]

00:32:26   that the first time I really was like [TS]

00:32:30   the dishwasher which is why I started at [TS]

00:32:33   every bar job I ever had like you're [TS]

00:32:36   hired [TS]

00:32:36   it's your apron there's the dishwasher [TS]

00:32:39   figure out how it works it's called a [TS]

00:32:41   Santa Corps or whatever the weather [TS]

00:32:43   center Santa klore oh yeah big thing way [TS]

00:32:46   it was like a little house for your [TS]

00:32:47   dishes yeah you put the dishes in you [TS]

00:32:49   shut the metal door and boss this [TS]

00:32:51   terrific but you have to load up the [TS]

00:32:53   rack and then you have to go put the [TS]

00:32:54   dishes away so that's where I really [TS]

00:32:56   learn to put it and I still I put dishes [TS]

00:32:58   away like I'm working in a bar that make [TS]

00:33:00   sense I never will what about storing [TS]

00:33:02   socks oh you just don't know you've done [TS]

00:33:08   you've done a load of laundry you've got [TS]

00:33:09   a bunch of socks I'm letting to tell you [TS]

00:33:11   what I think the options are I bet I [TS]

00:33:12   could think of at least three options [TS]

00:33:14   you tell me when you're putting your [TS]

00:33:17   socks away after they have been [TS]

00:33:19   laundered do you put them away a certain [TS]

00:33:22   way and is it important that they be [TS]

00:33:23   that way well yes [TS]

00:33:26   socks are I mean the way you do it is [TS]

00:33:29   you take you find the matching pair you [TS]

00:33:32   line them up heels together okay right [TS]

00:33:34   you know like no side side you're not [TS]

00:33:37   just throwing two socks at each other [TS]

00:33:39   it's nothing [TS]

00:33:40   but I'm not somebody that walks around [TS]

00:33:41   with a pocketful of bills or a wallet [TS]

00:33:43   full of bills where they're not faced [TS]

00:33:45   you got to face your fucking bills oh my [TS]

00:33:48   goodness I when I see people that don't [TS]

00:33:50   do that I have a two compartment as you [TS]

00:33:52   know I have a taxi driver wallet with [TS]

00:33:53   two compartments [TS]

00:33:54   I keep 20s and one and everything of [TS]

00:33:56   smaller denomination and the other they [TS]

00:33:58   are in order by denomination and they're [TS]

00:34:00   all faced in the going to go in the same [TS]

00:34:02   direction on every axis anything less [TS]

00:34:05   than that is to live a life of total [TS]

00:34:07   chaos I mean but you know what for two [TS]

00:34:10   hours in Vegas that's okay if you had a [TS]

00:34:13   theme park you can live with it maybe [TS]

00:34:15   you don't get oh I'm just doing it you [TS]

00:34:18   get it but like it's not unusual if [TS]

00:34:19   you're doing some shopping you're going [TS]

00:34:21   somewhere you get a pocket full of [TS]

00:34:22   receipts you get a pocket full of ones [TS]

00:34:24   and fives usually you may not may not in [TS]

00:34:26   know you say always stop what you're [TS]

00:34:27   doing get it right the first time yes if [TS]

00:34:30   some if I'm in if I am part of a heist [TS]

00:34:33   and someone hands me an armful of bills [TS]

00:34:36   like a bushel of them at the very first [TS]

00:34:40   moment I will stop and face them if you [TS]

00:34:42   found a gym bag in a tree you take it [TS]

00:34:44   down [TS]

00:34:44   number one get him in order well I'd get [TS]

00:34:47   I'd get out of there [TS]

00:34:48   I take it out of the hasty retreat being [TS]

00:34:50   hasty retreat and then when I could look [TS]

00:34:52   around and there was and I was safe when [TS]

00:34:54   I was when I'd found a dark alley it was [TS]

00:34:56   safe I thought from you know I'm not [TS]

00:34:58   never safe from the Batman but safe I [TS]

00:35:01   would sit and start facing those bills [TS]

00:35:03   and you know if I have hundreds and [TS]

00:35:05   fifties those goes on the twenty side [TS]

00:35:07   tens fives and ones or it's the last [TS]

00:35:10   time you had a fifty [TS]

00:35:11   I carry fifty do they still have those [TS]

00:35:14   yeah sure you get fifties in my line of [TS]

00:35:17   work you deal with a lot of cash uh but [TS]

00:35:21   so yes I mean right your wallet has got [TS]

00:35:23   you got to be really on top of your [TS]

00:35:25   wallet or your life will go off the word [TS]

00:35:26   off the rails and I see people all the [TS]

00:35:28   time they're just like uh how much is it [TS]

00:35:30   and they're just it's just like a a wad [TS]

00:35:33   of cash but not a wad like like a like a [TS]

00:35:36   money clip and you just in passing this [TS]

00:35:38   is another bulwark against madness this [TS]

00:35:40   to me would be like keeping salad forks [TS]

00:35:43   in the garage and dinner Forks in the [TS]

00:35:45   Attic except for when you just felt like [TS]

00:35:47   putting it somewhere else no way to live [TS]

00:35:50   I walked into an argument in the [TS]

00:35:53   marriage of Jonathan Coulton and his [TS]

00:35:55   wife Christine Connor one time well in [TS]

00:35:58   this happens sometimes when you're close [TS]

00:36:00   friends with people year you step into a [TS]

00:36:02   to a marriage argument an ongoing [TS]

00:36:04   situation an ongoing situation and it [TS]

00:36:06   was a question I think a lot of married [TS]

00:36:08   couples deal with this do you put the [TS]

00:36:10   silverware in do you put the forks in [TS]

00:36:13   the dishwasher tines up or tines damn [TS]

00:36:16   uh-huh [TS]

00:36:17   and there were two very strong feelings [TS]

00:36:22   about it and I think also it was tines [TS]

00:36:25   up or tines down and do you organize the [TS]

00:36:27   silverware by type in the dishwasher [TS]

00:36:30   buckets or do they just all go in and [TS]

00:36:34   there was definitely strong feelings [TS]

00:36:36   about all the forks should go together [TS]

00:36:37   in one thing that way when it's time to [TS]

00:36:39   unload the dishwasher you just grab them [TS]

00:36:41   all and they're together can I guess [TS]

00:36:43   which is which you know what I don't [TS]

00:36:45   want to get any more in there mayor [TS]

00:36:46   it's not going it's an ongoing situation [TS]

00:36:49   but there was a lot you know I had to [TS]

00:36:50   come back when I the first time I looked [TS]

00:36:52   at my own dishwasher after that I stood [TS]

00:36:54   and stared was like would it but it you [TS]

00:36:57   know these are things I've never had [TS]

00:36:58   because I'm not married I've never had [TS]

00:37:00   to argue let's say on the internet you [TS]

00:37:01   can't unsee it like once you're aware of [TS]

00:37:04   that of that special wisdom you feel [TS]

00:37:06   someone you know lacking you know like [TS]

00:37:08   now for me a lot of this no there's [TS]

00:37:10   another one it's like we've got one of [TS]

00:37:11   those are our cutlery holder in the [TS]

00:37:14   drawer has four uh receptacles for your [TS]

00:37:20   classic hand utensils knives forks [TS]

00:37:22   spoons and of exactly so I struggle with [TS]

00:37:27   that because sometimes I think the tea [TS]

00:37:28   spoon should be seperti spoons should be [TS]

00:37:31   separate it means different things the - [TS]

00:37:35   I I sometimes think about splitting up [TS]

00:37:36   spoons I sometimes think about splitting [TS]

00:37:38   up Forks [TS]

00:37:39   you're talking about but teaspoons or [TS]

00:37:40   tablespoons yeah but then also I [TS]

00:37:42   sometimes think about breaking up the [TS]

00:37:43   knives you get a steak knife over here [TS]

00:37:45   but I've still not that what I do not [TS]

00:37:46   have a strong opinion on my main thing [TS]

00:37:48   is usability like I think I think now if [TS]

00:37:52   you ask somebody else in my house they [TS]

00:37:53   have a million ways that I'm really [TS]

00:37:54   screwy but one of mine is I always want [TS]

00:37:57   the colander to be right here I always [TS]

00:38:00   want the two cup measuring cup to be [TS]

00:38:02   there these are things that I use almost [TS]

00:38:04   every day because you know there was a [TS]

00:38:06   kid year do a lot of colander work as [TS]

00:38:08   you probably know yeah four colander [TS]

00:38:10   colander work is one of the most [TS]

00:38:11   important facets of having a [TS]

00:38:13   single-digit child Colin yeah yeah we [TS]

00:38:18   don't do we don't put it in nesting [TS]

00:38:20   matroska bowls like don't do that [TS]

00:38:23   don't put it you know what I'm talking [TS]

00:38:24   about like there are people who think [TS]

00:38:25   that storing things should be always [TS]

00:38:27   like a nested situation where all these [TS]

00:38:29   are bowls of concentric sizes let's [TS]

00:38:31   stack them inside of each other what if [TS]

00:38:32   I want to get the bowl that's sucking [TS]

00:38:34   from the bottom like what was one of my [TS]

00:38:36   top tier you know maintenance players [TS]

00:38:38   yeah I get you I get you the colander in [TS]

00:38:41   there I need the colander I do a lot of [TS]

00:38:42   colander work especially in the [TS]

00:38:44   afternoons when you're getting your feet [TS]

00:38:45   touched are you [TS]

00:38:46   have you considered getting a colander [TS]

00:38:49   just for the child and bespoke daughter [TS]

00:38:53   colander a daughter colander for her [TS]

00:38:55   colander needs [TS]

00:38:57   Oh what isn't the kitchen founder it's [TS]

00:38:59   the daughter Colin we have a little [TS]

00:39:01   screen e1 that we use for orzo because [TS]

00:39:04   the orzo would slip through the regular [TS]

00:39:07   colander right I had not thought about [TS]

00:39:09   this we need to really pare down there's [TS]

00:39:12   a lot of stacking going on right now and [TS]

00:39:14   it's like I don't need more colander you [TS]

00:39:16   know I just got a new pan that I really [TS]

00:39:18   like but listen to the pan hot stuff [TS]

00:39:25   only English people can fuck you sock so [TS]

00:39:35   you're taking your socks out of the [TS]

00:39:37   dryer you you find the hair the one [TS]

00:39:39   thing I want to mention just a point of [TS]

00:39:40   information for our listeners it's my [TS]

00:39:42   belief it's my belief on information [TS]

00:39:43   that you are a sock man you have many [TS]

00:39:46   kinds of socks I'm a gold-tone man all I [TS]

00:39:50   got is white gold toe socks and when the [TS]

00:39:52   ones when some of them get grody I throw [TS]

00:39:54   those out and they're all mixed up I [TS]

00:39:55   won't say anything more about myself but [TS]

00:39:57   I think if for our listeners purposes [TS]

00:39:59   they should know and you tell me you got [TS]

00:40:01   a lot of socks you and I talked about [TS]

00:40:04   gold toes many years ago when we first [TS]

00:40:05   met 15 years ago we were talking about [TS]

00:40:07   gold toes because I was wearing at the [TS]

00:40:09   time some navy blue gold tone they get [TS]

00:40:12   to you with gold toes at one point you [TS]

00:40:14   did you hidden my mom is also kind of [TS]

00:40:18   like you one of these sock utilitarians [TS]

00:40:20   trying to solve the problem of socks by [TS]

00:40:23   getting a kind of sock yes and she's [TS]

00:40:27   done that to me several times over the [TS]

00:40:29   course of the years like here are the [TS]

00:40:31   socks they're the only socks will ever [TS]

00:40:33   need again and I'm like well I don't [TS]

00:40:35   know about that mom I I did not [TS]

00:40:38   experience because thing is if a sock [TS]

00:40:40   goes missing [TS]

00:40:41   I don't experience that as a major that [TS]

00:40:44   doesn't Buttle me sock meant missing [TS]

00:40:46   it'll turn up is when I say I actually [TS]

00:40:48   have like losing Tupperware it's kind of [TS]

00:40:51   you don't want to do it but it's not the [TS]

00:40:53   end of your week right I mean that you [TS]

00:40:56   can always get more that's right you can [TS]

00:40:58   always get more you can always get more [TS]

00:40:59   socks but for me socks are I dive [TS]

00:41:04   they're fun I like socks I like [TS]

00:41:05   different you know what and the socks [TS]

00:41:07   are an easy thing to buy [TS]

00:41:10   as a as a momento here I in London today [TS]

00:41:15   I don't want to get a little [TS]

00:41:17   double-decker bus [TS]

00:41:18   set of salt shakers I don't want to get [TS]

00:41:20   a thing that says I was in London today [TS]

00:41:23   but look at that a little pair of socks [TS]

00:41:25   I'll buy some socks and then from then [TS]

00:41:27   on you think oh those are the socks that [TS]

00:41:30   I bought that day in London you're [TS]

00:41:32   you're creating memories just little [TS]

00:41:34   things like that like I got you I got [TS]

00:41:36   you some socks i everybody always wants [TS]

00:41:39   socks and i and and and every every pair [TS]

00:41:44   of socks that I pull out of the of the [TS]

00:41:46   sock drawer I can remember where they [TS]

00:41:49   came from [TS]

00:41:50   of course you can right these are the [TS]

00:41:53   sock from Amazon these are the socks [TS]

00:41:56   from that time I went to the Natural [TS]

00:41:58   History Museum and I decided that what I [TS]

00:42:00   needed was socks oh you know and they're [TS]

00:42:02   cheap and it's just a little thing and [TS]

00:42:04   then you given every day you walk around [TS]

00:42:06   it's like oh these socks have owls on [TS]

00:42:07   them I got them at the at the place not [TS]

00:42:11   to get them at the owl Natural History [TS]

00:42:12   Museum mm-hmm but socks have to be [TS]

00:42:16   paired and then the tops folded down so [TS]

00:42:20   that they are held together you guys all [TS]

00:42:23   seems to be clear though you're not [TS]

00:42:24   making a ball you're making a small but [TS]

00:42:27   sturdy cuff cuff that's right now how [TS]

00:42:30   many I mean just you take an average [TS]

00:42:32   size sock like a men's dress sock how [TS]

00:42:34   long is your cuff oh I would say never [TS]

00:42:38   more than a third of the sock mm-hmm [TS]

00:42:40   somewhere between a quarter and a third [TS]

00:42:42   of the length of the sock see cuz I come [TS]

00:42:44   from ballers well and I know and balls [TS]

00:42:46   are a great idea and I stretchy [TS]

00:42:48   stretches around seen it work but it [TS]

00:42:51   does feel stretchy and it feels like [TS]

00:42:53   then it's a puzzle you have to unwrap [TS]

00:42:55   every time you we get the size my family [TS]

00:42:58   always rolled in bald yeah nope we are [TS]

00:43:02   you know I think I got it from obviously [TS]

00:43:05   it's a family thing yep but I got mine [TS]

00:43:07   at like make a cuff fold them over and [TS]

00:43:10   then you look in the you look in and the [TS]

00:43:12   thing about them when they're when [TS]

00:43:13   they're cuffed is that you can see if [TS]

00:43:15   you can pull a pair out and see if [TS]

00:43:17   there's any toe or heel wear without [TS]

00:43:20   having to make a decision right then [TS]

00:43:23   whether or not you're gonna throw them [TS]

00:43:24   away looks like having a glass lid on [TS]

00:43:26   your pie get right in you look right in [TS]

00:43:28   you don't need to lift anything yeah [TS]

00:43:30   you look right see this is it bulwarks [TS]

00:43:32   bulwarks against madness I prove this no [TS]

00:43:34   when you put them in are they hop hazard [TS]

00:43:36   are they are they stack neatly are you [TS]

00:43:39   canö lling would you put them in there [TS]

00:43:41   do you can all mmm that's a very good [TS]

00:43:44   question there are so many different [TS]

00:43:45   ways that I could organize my socks I [TS]

00:43:48   could organize them by color I could [TS]

00:43:49   organize them by size this is why you [TS]

00:43:51   need a grant with a penis ID so I do not [TS]

00:43:56   approve of ankle socks yeah I just don't [TS]

00:44:00   I don't I don't know why I have such a [TS]

00:44:03   strong feeling about ankle socks but I [TS]

00:44:05   just don't approve of them I don't want [TS]

00:44:08   them in my house I don't want them in my [TS]

00:44:10   garden if you're wearing short pants to [TS]

00:44:11   Stan Smith's [TS]

00:44:12   what kind of sock are you gonna deploy [TS]

00:44:13   no sock no suck you don't even do like a [TS]

00:44:16   little grabby inside the shoe sock it [TS]

00:44:18   don't want those are you feel don't [TS]

00:44:20   don't approve of them if you're wearing [TS]

00:44:22   us if you want the no sock look where no [TS]

00:44:24   socks okay and you also but you also [TS]

00:44:27   probably rotate your shoes often enough [TS]

00:44:30   that that doesn't become a problem right [TS]

00:44:33   I don't want to hurt it okay no no you [TS]

00:44:36   wear them one time and then you switch [TS]

00:44:37   them out so like in the summer for [TS]

00:44:39   instance I have summer shoes like we all [TS]

00:44:43   do but I have enough of a selection of [TS]

00:44:46   summer shoes that you know if one of [TS]

00:44:48   them goes in the lake they can sit on [TS]

00:44:50   the porch and they're not gonna you know [TS]

00:44:52   my my progress isn't gonna be impeded [TS]

00:44:55   okay um yeah like no socks was the thing [TS]

00:44:59   that I that I did as a kid and I did it [TS]

00:45:02   into adulthood and I still do it [TS]

00:45:03   and ankle socks just seem like a like a [TS]

00:45:06   cheat like an unfair it's unfair it's [TS]

00:45:10   like a diaper like a foot diaper [TS]

00:45:12   you know matter like a finger caught for [TS]

00:45:13   your foot yeah don't wear colored socks [TS]

00:45:16   with short pants is definitely a thing [TS]

00:45:19   but I will wear a white athletic sock [TS]

00:45:21   mm-hmm I think I was wearing a white [TS]

00:45:24   athletic sock one time at the Chateau [TS]

00:45:26   Marmont when Jesse thorn crashed our [TS]

00:45:28   party and he gave me some hell about it [TS]

00:45:31   but I was wearing a white sock because I [TS]

00:45:33   was wearing a suit and I say yeah I said [TS]

00:45:38   show me your socks fancy guy and he [TS]

00:45:39   lifted up his pants and there were all [TS]

00:45:41   kinds of there's a bunch of hoes in [TS]

00:45:43   there or something you know like it was [TS]

00:45:44   just suits suit stockings and I said [TS]

00:45:49   Jesse and this was this was the [TS]

00:45:51   beginning of this whole like can you [TS]

00:45:52   climb a fence in that outfit yeah right [TS]

00:45:54   because I climb a fence in this outfit [TS]

00:45:56   mm-hmm oh you just mind your mind your [TS]

00:46:00   own penis is Jesse thorn that's right [TS]

00:46:02   here I'll close yeah um right the [TS]

00:46:06   Rottweilers gonna tear you tear you [TS]

00:46:07   apart my friend you strike me as [TS]

00:46:10   somebody who has a large uh well large [TS]

00:46:13   it's reasonably sized but you have a big [TS]

00:46:14   wardrobe I don't think of you as much of [TS]

00:46:17   a graphic tee t-shirt where let me ask [TS]

00:46:23   you this just in general answer however [TS]

00:46:24   you want how many t-shirts of whatever [TS]

00:46:26   variety do you have in regular rotation [TS]

00:46:28   oh dear [TS]

00:46:29   dee are you do you wear first of all [TS]

00:46:31   let's get to be obvious do you wear a [TS]

00:46:33   white do you wear a t-shirt underneath [TS]

00:46:36   what what you called a long-sleeve shirt [TS]

00:46:37   or dress shirt [TS]

00:46:38   only when I anticipate the prospect of [TS]

00:46:41   perspiration being an issue in whether [TS]

00:46:46   or not I look gross or not okay so you [TS]

00:46:48   don't I I wear a t-shirt under almost [TS]

00:46:51   everything it might be advanced or it [TS]

00:46:52   might be a podcast shirt it might be a [TS]

00:46:54   Mack Walden fancy white shirt but I I [TS]

00:46:56   always play a t-shirt as my bottom layer [TS]

00:46:58   always and I'm just not the case for me [TS]

00:47:01   okay I don't just put a button-down [TS]

00:47:04   shirt on right over my natural self not [TS]

00:47:06   anybody fun no socks no undershirt no [TS]

00:47:10   socks no undershirt but if I'm going you [TS]

00:47:13   know if I'm wearing a tie I'm going to [TS]

00:47:14   be wearing a jacket and I have a shirt [TS]

00:47:16   on and it's going to be a situation [TS]

00:47:18   where I might like though my lower back [TS]

00:47:21   might get damp or suck you know if I [TS]

00:47:24   take the jacket off you'll be able to [TS]

00:47:26   see that I am that I have perspired I [TS]

00:47:29   will wear a t-shirt as a bulwark as you [TS]

00:47:31   said [TS]

00:47:32   I am okay I have a lot of sediment the [TS]

00:47:36   reason I started buying socks as [TS]

00:47:39   souvenirs is that I went through as we [TS]

00:47:42   all do in rock-and-roll many many years [TS]

00:47:44   of t-shirts as souvenirs and a thousand [TS]

00:47:47   t-shirts from the band fiver and a [TS]

00:47:51   creeper Lagoon and you know the [TS]

00:47:54   Tennessee Valley Authority or whatever [TS]

00:47:55   up you know just t-shirts everywhere [TS]

00:47:57   that are very sentimental over time [TS]

00:47:59   because it's like we did a tour with [TS]

00:48:00   fiber in 2001 and I'm never going to [TS]

00:48:03   throw that t-shirt away yeah I still [TS]

00:48:06   wear the fiber t-shirt all the time that [TS]

00:48:09   was a purchase of all the purges that we [TS]

00:48:11   have done done the one that was easily [TS]

00:48:14   the most difficult was getting rid of [TS]

00:48:16   the t-shirts because I got t-shirts from [TS]

00:48:17   the mid-80s I mean like but like my my [TS]

00:48:20   favorite was this dump truck concert [TS]

00:48:23   t-shirt from like maybe 1989 and it was [TS]

00:48:26   so disgusting [TS]

00:48:28   just even knowing that it was in the [TS]

00:48:30   closet upset my wife we're talking pit [TS]

00:48:32   stains buddy I can put a pit stain on [TS]

00:48:35   something I think I'm very accurate I [TS]

00:48:36   know I seem probably very base but but I [TS]

00:48:39   disagree I do something where it gets [TS]

00:48:42   orange and hard and a little bit a [TS]

00:48:45   little permanently moist like a wax [TS]

00:48:46   buildup and so and it had holes in it [TS]

00:48:49   but it was a dumptruck shirt it was from [TS]

00:48:51   the big time bad time to her big time [TS]

00:48:53   records remember them well sure there [TS]

00:48:56   are they were hard on some artists but [TS]

00:48:57   your bad time big data to her yeah that [TS]

00:49:02   that was hard replacement shirts three [TS]

00:49:03   replacement shirts like there's all [TS]

00:49:05   these things but I was like you know [TS]

00:49:06   what this of all the purge that I do [TS]

00:49:08   this is the most significant because [TS]

00:49:10   this is this is where I moved up past [TS]

00:49:12   the point of pain like I'm really [TS]

00:49:15   genuinely going to miss my archers of [TS]

00:49:16   love shirt and I do I still it's been 10 [TS]

00:49:20   years probably I mean we did this one [TS]

00:49:22   big purge a couple years before our [TS]

00:49:24   daughter was born huge purge and the two [TS]

00:49:27   difficult things we're getting rid of [TS]

00:49:28   the t-shirts and then I think I told you [TS]

00:49:29   this one this breaks my heart still we [TS]

00:49:31   had idiotically put a bunch of our bags [TS]

00:49:34   to store into a contractor bag and we [TS]

00:49:37   accidentally threw it away [TS]

00:49:38   oh yeah no we're talking like vintage [TS]

00:49:42   Timbuktu bags from the 90s like [TS]

00:49:45   probably 15 Timbuktu bags you know and [TS]

00:49:47   you know me in bags right yep you look [TS]

00:49:49   better you realize that we scurried a [TS]

00:49:52   little bit to look around like now now [TS]

00:49:53   now it's gone let it go leave it leave [TS]

00:49:56   it leave it but the shuttle is the [TS]

00:49:58   shirts now are we hope you know what Ben [TS]

00:50:00   Gibbard did no he he solved this problem [TS]

00:50:02   he took all of his old band t-shirts [TS]

00:50:05   from a thousand bands and he gave them [TS]

00:50:07   all to his mom [TS]

00:50:08   did she make a quilt she maybe quote I [TS]

00:50:10   thought I should have done that I said [TS]

00:50:12   she made it she made a rock band quilt [TS]

00:50:14   and she made a sheep because she she [TS]

00:50:16   takes the logo out of the t-shirt she [TS]

00:50:18   backs it with some other fabric sew it [TS]

00:50:21   so it's you know stable and thick and [TS]

00:50:25   then she made like a piano cover you [TS]

00:50:29   know like not just quilts but like [TS]

00:50:32   things that you you know like covers for [TS]

00:50:34   things Wow like you know amp cover or [TS]

00:50:37   whatever made out of old [TS]

00:50:39   oh that's I get it I see what you're [TS]

00:50:41   saying [TS]

00:50:42   little place for your anniversary lip [TS]

00:50:44   cake right that is all those sexy old [TS]

00:50:47   band t-shirts it's great it's wonderful [TS]

00:50:51   it's like what can you say about it it's [TS]

00:50:54   it's very crafty yeah okay well maybe we [TS]

00:50:57   should get out maybe we should get out [TS]

00:50:58   of the closet we could don't we could go [TS]

00:51:01   to the bathroom we could go to the [TS]

00:51:03   garage I wish I my bathroom and my [TS]

00:51:06   garage are both windows on my soul and [TS]

00:51:09   I'd romatic I don't want people looking [TS]

00:51:11   in there I know I know I know I felt the [TS]

00:51:13   same way I can't even have anyone over [TS]

00:51:14   hmm [TS]

00:51:16   um I think you sure that I that I got in [TS]

00:51:19   the mid 80s late 80s mid to late [TS]

00:51:22   eighties a girl gave me a t-shirt that [TS]

00:51:24   had a cup of coffee on the front [TS]

00:51:26   hmm and the coffee it was like a woodcut [TS]

00:51:30   very it was just a white t-shirt then [TS]

00:51:33   there was just a cup of coffee and there [TS]

00:51:36   were three steam lines coming off the [TS]

00:51:39   top of the coffee and then above it [TS]

00:51:40   written in a kind of stylized font that [TS]

00:51:43   maybe ended up being the font that they [TS]

00:51:45   used on the TV show friends you know [TS]

00:51:48   kind of like a hand-drawn font mm-hmm it [TS]

00:51:51   said regular see I was hoping was going [TS]

00:51:56   to say coffee but I liked [TS]

00:51:58   regular even better regular regular oh [TS]

00:52:01   that's good that is that is uh that's [TS]

00:52:03   pregnant Prague not says the Germans say [TS]

00:52:05   pregnant with meaning Prague nuts lug [TS]

00:52:07   nuts [TS]

00:52:07   and so at the time a lot of our [TS]

00:52:11   listeners are not going to be able to [TS]

00:52:12   fathom this but at the time in 1988 to [TS]

00:52:14   wear a t-shirt that had a cup of coffee [TS]

00:52:16   on it and it said regular mm-hmm was [TS]

00:52:19   pretty fucking out there that's pretty [TS]

00:52:21   out there that was really really [TS]

00:52:23   alternative and I was pretty proud of [TS]

00:52:28   how alternative it was because it [TS]

00:52:31   communicated to people that I was [TS]

00:52:32   nobody's you know that I was not some [TS]

00:52:34   spring chicken you know it's not your [TS]

00:52:36   first day right like I'm I'm not new and [TS]

00:52:42   because you're gonna sure with a coffee [TS]

00:52:44   cup on it this is regular it says [TS]

00:52:46   regular mm-hmm you found out so I pulled [TS]

00:52:49   that t-shirt out when I needed to what I [TS]

00:52:52   needed to you know come correct when I [TS]

00:52:54   needed to enter a scene I totally had [TS]

00:52:56   those shirts I'd that's why if you look [TS]

00:52:58   at photos of the birth of my daughter [TS]

00:53:00   around that that morning I'm wearing my [TS]

00:53:02   favorite shirt at the time my silkworm [TS]

00:53:03   shirt though I had to bring my a-game [TS]

00:53:06   yeah I was wearing a shirt when my [TS]

00:53:08   daughter was born that I that at the [TS]

00:53:11   time was just like whatever shirt I had [TS]

00:53:13   on and now the shirt has tremendous [TS]

00:53:18   significance to me but it's like not one [TS]

00:53:21   of my favorite shirts I don't hate it [TS]

00:53:22   it's a fine shirt yeah but it would have [TS]

00:53:26   been a shirt that got purged at [TS]

00:53:28   somewhere along the line if it hadn't [TS]

00:53:29   been imbued with all this hyper [TS]

00:53:32   significance yeah now it just sits on a [TS]

00:53:34   hanger and I look at it and I go well I [TS]

00:53:37   can't wear that shirt but I also can't [TS]

00:53:39   give it away no I you know what I think [TS]

00:53:41   you get a pass on that one yeah I did [TS]

00:53:43   get rid of that silk warm shirt though I [TS]

00:53:45   know I know but see this is when you get [TS]

00:53:49   to that point and so like now I'm really [TS]

00:53:51   trying to I'm not a minimalist I'm not [TS]

00:53:53   damn Benjamin but I try really hard to [TS]

00:53:54   like keep things kind of organized like [TS]

00:53:56   these are the white t-shirts and I call [TS]

00:53:59   those I will go through what I would [TS]

00:54:00   call the white t-shirts if I see pit [TS]

00:54:02   stains got to go right I've got the like [TS]

00:54:05   the podcast shirts the Squarespace [TS]

00:54:07   shirts I got like four Squarespace [TS]

00:54:09   shirts [TS]

00:54:09   those are great like go to daily shirts [TS]

00:54:11   at four fantastic four shirts those are [TS]

00:54:14   all deployed in their own little special [TS]

00:54:15   containers then I got the long sleeve [TS]

00:54:17   t-shirts this is the critical part of my [TS]

00:54:19   wardrobe Oh long sleeve tees are very [TS]

00:54:22   tricky to pull off Merlin you know Mac [TS]

00:54:24   Walden they make it they make a really [TS]

00:54:25   good it's costly but they make a very [TS]

00:54:27   good see for me that's not about the [TS]

00:54:30   underpants Mac Walden they're not a [TS]

00:54:31   sponsor this episode they should be but [TS]

00:54:34   but I know I those are the date I was [TS]

00:54:36   really pleasantly surprised by there [TS]

00:54:38   because I'm wearing one of their French [TS]

00:54:40   terry hoodies as we speak Oh French [TS]

00:54:42   terry hush Terry hoodie you know it's [TS]

00:54:44   it's funny because it used to be back in [TS]

00:54:47   the 70s and 80s that the ladies got all [TS]

00:54:51   of the like thin soft really appealing [TS]

00:54:55   little hoodies and the boys had all [TS]

00:54:59   these super thick chunky hoodies chunky [TS]

00:55:02   hoodies that's how I feel when I wear my [TS]

00:55:04   extra-large Roderick on the line hoodie [TS]

00:55:07   it's very it's it's it's like wearing a [TS]

00:55:09   blanket yeah it's a bits a big blanket [TS]

00:55:11   hoodie and that was all the hoodies that [TS]

00:55:13   I ever had but then when I started [TS]

00:55:15   spending a lot of time in San Francisco [TS]

00:55:17   and I started thrifting in San Francisco [TS]

00:55:20   and let me let me just say that I know [TS]

00:55:23   that sounds like it wouldn't be that [TS]

00:55:24   good and it often isn't but every once [TS]

00:55:26   in a while you do stumble on a thing I [TS]

00:55:30   came into possession of a couple of [TS]

00:55:32   extra large sized but thin soft you know [TS]

00:55:40   like like Gama lean little uh hoodies [TS]

00:55:46   that were just like just like t-shirts [TS]

00:55:49   basically except they were hoodies and I [TS]

00:55:52   started wearing them around and then all [TS]

00:55:54   of my lady friends would see them from [TS]

00:55:56   across the room be like where did you [TS]

00:55:57   get that hoodie say oh you know I found [TS]

00:56:00   it but why and they're like we can't [TS]

00:56:02   find hoodies like that anymore for [TS]

00:56:03   ladies now that now that guys have all [TS]

00:56:06   the soft hoodies and and the lady [TS]

00:56:09   hoodies are so I don't know something [TS]

00:56:11   they're like into some it's not a thing [TS]

00:56:14   or or something I don't know what it is [TS]

00:56:15   huh but I am I have been the envy of [TS]

00:56:18   several of my lady friends because of my [TS]

00:56:20   collection now of very soft small [TS]

00:56:23   hoodies [TS]

00:56:24   small but like bin you know like 9:02 [TS]

00:56:27   mean I don't like a light a light weight [TS]

00:56:29   not pointy not bulky material a hoodie [TS]

00:56:33   that you could wear under something oh [TS]

00:56:34   no that's that's a tough call you know [TS]

00:56:37   like I dunno yes [TS]

00:56:40   it's almost like it's like an advanced [TS]

00:56:42   t-shirt material yeah hoodie that you [TS]

00:56:44   put on under a jacket like it should be [TS]

00:56:47   like an Opie shirt okay right right [TS]

00:56:50   I think Opie made shirts like that their [TS]

00:56:51   college long-sleeve t-shirt with a hood [TS]

00:56:54   well okay so now okay so I can't go [TS]

00:56:57   there because that's to dr. Zog sex wax [TS]

00:57:00   well but never Niles bone but something [TS]

00:57:05   make a long-sleeved t-shirt is a really [TS]

00:57:09   tricky game because I have several and [TS]

00:57:12   the long sleeve t-shirts that I that I [TS]

00:57:15   get away with are one of them is from [TS]

00:57:17   Portland's um like Japanese garden hmm [TS]

00:57:23   one of them is a not a surf long-sleeve [TS]

00:57:26   t-shirt which I never would have thought [TS]

00:57:27   worked but it did one of them is from [TS]

00:57:30   the US Arctic National Research Council [TS]

00:57:35   one of them is from a like Homer Alaska [TS]

00:57:39   and there's just there just a few of [TS]

00:57:42   them that I can that that the pass [TS]

00:57:45   because the danger of a long-sleeve [TS]

00:57:48   t-shirt is it's one it's like two inches [TS]

00:57:51   of fabric away from a mock turtle you're [TS]

00:57:55   right you're right and sometimes you get [TS]

00:57:57   a crew that's a little tight if you're a [TS]

00:57:59   little tight in the crew it gets it gets [TS]

00:58:00   into like you like the rock yes you do [TS]

00:58:07   look like the rock and it's really [TS]

00:58:10   tricky you know you can't just say [TS]

00:58:12   because there was a there was a time one [TS]

00:58:15   of my very first encounters with B I [TS]

00:58:17   have solved the clothing problem was in [TS]

00:58:20   1987 my friend Bob wood came back to the [TS]

00:58:24   dorms and Bob said you guys Eddie Bauer [TS]

00:58:29   in downtown Spokane is having a big sale [TS]

00:58:32   and they have these shirts [TS]

00:58:34   and he held one up and it was a long [TS]

00:58:37   sleeve but it was made out of like uh [TS]

00:58:41   this like miracle fabric it was hundred [TS]

00:58:45   percent cotton right but it was at the [TS]

00:58:47   time all we wanted was clothes that were [TS]

00:58:48   really beefy beefy was our watchword [TS]

00:58:52   uh-huh [TS]

00:58:53   is that beefy yes it's beefy all right [TS]

00:58:55   cuz the beef test it's beefy and this [TS]

00:58:59   was a thing where it was like this shirt [TS]

00:59:02   was very beefy and he said they're [TS]

00:59:06   having a sale on these they're like nine [TS]

00:59:08   dollars each and they have them in every [TS]

00:59:11   conceivable color and so I mean we're in [TS]

00:59:14   college this isn't it's not a group of [TS]

00:59:16   guys that you're typically gonna think [TS]

00:59:18   like let's go to the mall but we all [TS]

00:59:20   jumped on our mountain bikes and we rode [TS]

00:59:22   to Eddie Bauer they were having a [TS]

00:59:23   massive sale and this was any Bauer [TS]

00:59:24   before they became became terrible this [TS]

00:59:27   was Eddie Bauer back when there were [TS]

00:59:29   still canoes in the store and they're on [TS]

00:59:34   the sale rack there it was an entire [TS]

00:59:35   wall I remember it like it's yesterday [TS]

00:59:37   entire wall two whole racks top and [TS]

00:59:40   bottom and there were two kinds of [TS]

00:59:43   shirts [TS]

00:59:44   there were mock turtle necks and there [TS]

00:59:48   were regular crew necks all made out of [TS]

00:59:51   the same piece of material and seriously [TS]

00:59:53   in every color light cream pink orange [TS]

00:59:57   green blue [TS]

00:59:59   [Music] [TS]

00:59:59   [Music] [TS]

01:00:00   you know uh like plum like and they were [TS]

01:00:04   all 80s colors and we all like our minds [TS]

01:00:09   were blown and we all felt like for like [TS]

01:00:12   I think they were even cheaper than nine [TS]

01:00:14   dollars they were so cheap [TS]

01:00:15   we just felt like for a $50 investment I [TS]

01:00:19   will never have to think about clothes [TS]

01:00:22   again mm-hmm you know we had that [TS]

01:00:24   libertarian moment of just like I mean [TS]

01:00:26   it's all just punch of that's very very [TS]

01:00:28   appealing and I bought eight shirts and [TS]

01:00:32   I got mock Turtles mixed in I got like [TS]

01:00:36   three mock Turtles and five crew necks [TS]

01:00:39   because at the time mock Turtles seemed [TS]

01:00:41   like they all so soft a problem it was [TS]

01:00:44   like a turtleneck but without all the [TS]

01:00:45   extra it's not you talking the 90s this [TS]

01:00:48   is 87 ex I'm so bright in the early 90s [TS]

01:00:52   in the barn jacket era uh there's a [TS]

01:00:54   little bit of a vote for a slight mock [TS]

01:00:57   turtleneck on a fella well I mean if you [TS]

01:00:59   think about the early if you if you look [TS]

01:01:01   at the opening sequence of friends not [TS]

01:01:03   to talk about friends two times in a row [TS]

01:01:05   but I think Joey is wearing mock turtle [TS]

01:01:07   necks a lot of the time Joey really [TS]

01:01:09   liked a mock turtle when I first moved [TS]

01:01:12   to Seattle there was a punk band called [TS]

01:01:14   mock turtle but they spelt it ma CH mock [TS]

01:01:16   turtle as in make turtle as in well like [TS]

01:01:20   Michelle Michelle or like mock one ma I [TS]

01:01:23   get it that's good [TS]

01:01:24   okay that's their logo was a turtle with [TS]

01:01:26   like a jet engine coming out of its butt [TS]

01:01:28   or something [TS]

01:01:28   oh they were a punk band sure but I did [TS]

01:01:32   have these mock Turtles and wore them [TS]

01:01:36   until about 91 when it when it obviously [TS]

01:01:40   then had become it was no no longer felt [TS]

01:01:42   like a adventure sports solution to a [TS]

01:01:44   problem and felt like the beginning of a [TS]

01:01:46   whole new problem that it was a Joey [TS]

01:01:48   problem now and so I had my mom take the [TS]

01:01:55   mock turtle part off yes so no just so [TS]

01:01:59   regular calling let's take the turtle [TS]

01:02:01   part I said we I swear to you I still [TS]

01:02:05   have three of those eight shirts okay [TS]

01:02:09   and they are [TS]

01:02:11   they are shredded but I can go when you [TS]

01:02:14   fight when you finally find something [TS]

01:02:16   that's that's what you really want it's [TS]

01:02:18   so hard to let go we wore those shirts [TS]

01:02:20   with such pride we had solved every [TS]

01:02:23   problem we had the shirt just can't get [TS]

01:02:28   those days back I had those kinds of [TS]

01:02:31   like internal moral panics when I like I [TS]

01:02:33   finally find a pair of like slick shoes [TS]

01:02:36   that I like alright this was a huge deal [TS]

01:02:39   in 80s when like if you found a pair of [TS]

01:02:41   shoes that you would like and it was a [TS]

01:02:43   name-brand shoe there's a pretty good [TS]

01:02:44   chance that within the next year it [TS]

01:02:47   would be really different or even gone [TS]

01:02:49   yeah Nike made this kind of shoe when I [TS]

01:02:52   was in my first first probably or maybe [TS]

01:02:56   second pair of Nikes the Nike dynasty do [TS]

01:02:59   you remember that no tell me more early [TS]

01:03:01   80s long as you define it for you the [TS]

01:03:03   dynasty so this is the red swoop era but [TS]

01:03:06   no buy for that is before that really [TS]

01:03:09   and these were so dope can't you see now [TS]

01:03:13   of course now all look like all those [TS]

01:03:14   other shoes now like then all those neon [TS]

01:03:16   like din ah look at this look at this [TS]

01:03:20   guy Texas - you sure oh my gosh shit [TS]

01:03:24   don't make me look at myself I'm waiting [TS]

01:03:28   I'm standing with the catcher's mitt [TS]

01:03:29   waiting for this text come on there it [TS]

01:03:31   is clicking on it oh what a shoe and [TS]

01:03:37   look at that what is easy [TS]

01:03:38   Oxford's way to see the Oxford's I had [TS]

01:03:39   two pairs of these oh I love that [TS]

01:03:42   I love that fabric that I know the mesh [TS]

01:03:45   mesh Oh terrific I was gonna use a [TS]

01:03:48   picture of the rock for show art this [TS]

01:03:49   week totally putting in the dynasties oh [TS]

01:03:51   man show me the Oxford's yeah should [TS]

01:03:55   come in a second look at that I need a [TS]

01:04:00   warm swoosh on the tongue I'm having a [TS]

01:04:04   I'm having a strange flashback yeah what [TS]

01:04:07   well I never had these because these [TS]

01:04:09   would have been way way way too cool it [TS]

01:04:12   was my box yeah my mom would not have [TS]

01:04:15   sprung for these but I am having a [TS]

01:04:18   flashback of envying these so these look [TS]

01:04:21   like Stan Smith's [TS]

01:04:24   look at these I don't think at the zone [TS]

01:04:26   pretty relatively fat laces a mesh with [TS]

01:04:29   suede around the toe and the heel blue [TS]

01:04:32   on the inside and a blue swoosh and I [TS]

01:04:35   wear these every day today if they made [TS]

01:04:36   these how do we get these I don't know [TS]

01:04:38   if I gotta go on eBay [TS]

01:04:39   no but I don't want some old ones I like [TS]

01:04:42   how do we get it how do we get them [TS]

01:04:43   remade you know this is a Kickstarter [TS]

01:04:45   could we just say start giving us money [TS]

01:04:47   so the Nikhil make these how that works [TS]

01:04:49   I think so the other thing that's how it [TS]

01:04:51   works we're powerful people in the world [TS]

01:04:53   we can get like you know to start [TS]

01:04:55   remaking a shoe if we just did a kick [TS]

01:04:57   start I have no reason to think that it [TS]

01:04:59   wouldn't work but those are pretty sharp [TS]

01:05:00   especially when they're new they're not [TS]

01:05:01   usually quite this beat-up but they're [TS]

01:05:03   not totally white exactly yeah I love [TS]

01:05:07   that that combination of like mesh and [TS]

01:05:09   suede yeah within the rubber on the [TS]

01:05:12   bottom it's a great look this uh this [TS]

01:05:16   episode's been a lot about feet well you [TS]

01:05:21   know my feet have held up really well [TS]

01:05:23   considering considering all the work [TS]

01:05:26   that I've put in you know put on them [TS]

01:05:28   right you're walking across your up for [TS]

01:05:30   example oh and just like I'm a walker [TS]

01:05:32   I'm uh I'm heavy and my feet have just [TS]

01:05:39   never let me down there um you have to [TS]

01:05:43   do a certain amount of maintenance on [TS]

01:05:44   them one of the toes curves under but I [TS]

01:05:50   can't imagine like having problems with [TS]

01:05:52   your feet it would be so it would be so [TS]

01:05:55   it's not a shoe the column you know what [TS]

01:05:57   I mean like you're you're you're like [TS]

01:05:59   knees feet of the knees are the other [TS]

01:06:00   one the feet for sure like oh man you [TS]

01:06:02   don't mess those up so my knees are [TS]

01:06:04   terrible they're absolutely ruined cuz [TS]

01:06:07   all the ball you played uh you know well [TS]

01:06:10   the skiing didn't help but also I think [TS]

01:06:13   I think it's one of those things where [TS]

01:06:15   your there's certain parts of your body [TS]

01:06:17   that are just that are just weak from [TS]

01:06:19   the start [TS]

01:06:20   and I always felt it was my knees in my [TS]

01:06:22   lungs were the two things in my body [TS]

01:06:25   that just from the beginning I could [TS]

01:06:26   tell we're like they're just not up to [TS]

01:06:28   capacity so the all the all the damage [TS]

01:06:32   has been borne by my knees but my feet [TS]

01:06:35   our solid mmm Thank You all-stars am i [TS]

01:06:39   right [TS]

01:06:39   I do I do I think about somebody that [TS]

01:06:42   had pain in their feet and I just have [TS]

01:06:43   tremendous sympathy because foot pain is [TS]

01:06:46   no good like NEEP NEEP fucked up knees [TS]

01:06:48   just means that now I'm starting to walk [TS]

01:06:51   like my dad when I go up and down the [TS]

01:06:53   stairs it starts to be like a it starts [TS]

01:06:56   to be a thing it's like yeah just I'm [TS]

01:06:59   going upstairs okay here I go [TS]

01:07:00   cracking noise crack crack yeah there's [TS]

01:07:04   I mean I'm trying to walk like the [TS]

01:07:05   penguin from them you know [TS]

01:07:07   burgess Meredith penguin because my name [TS]

01:07:12   is yeah and and one day I'm sure that [TS]

01:07:16   I'll have there will be some technology [TS]

01:07:18   where I have knee replacement surgery [TS]

01:07:19   but you're never safe probably not in [TS]

01:07:21   your lifetime yeah someday you never the [TS]

01:07:23   same no and so yeah I'm starting to just [TS]

01:07:27   like uh because the thing is I have one [TS]

01:07:30   bad knee so I favored the other one for [TS]

01:07:31   so long that not ruined it - yeah you [TS]

01:07:35   know you don't get that many shots with [TS]

01:07:37   these things you know what is depleted [TS]

01:07:39   like sometimes all my daughter and I are [TS]

01:07:40   wrestling she'll grab my thumb and I'm [TS]

01:07:42   worried she's gonna break my thumb and [TS]

01:07:43   I'm like hey I got two of those if I'm [TS]

01:07:44   lucky for the rest of my life I don't [TS]

01:07:46   want to get down to one thumb do not [TS]

01:07:48   break my thumb no don't break my thumb [TS]

01:07:49   right I admire the move [TS]

01:07:51   yeah but I say that all the time please [TS]

01:07:53   don't break my thumb please don't break [TS]

01:07:55   my thumb don't touch my feet don't touch [TS]

01:07:57   my feet in the morning I I start to I [TS]

01:08:01   mean I'm not a it turns out this is a [TS]

01:08:04   weird thing that I've just recently [TS]

01:08:06   realized is that it turns out that I'm [TS]

01:08:11   actually pretty optimistic [TS]

01:08:13   oh you finding all kinds of things [TS]

01:08:16   aren't you yeah I I would never have [TS]

01:08:19   thought of myself as an optimist because [TS]

01:08:20   it didn't it didn't go along with like [TS]

01:08:22   being cynical which I also was but turns [TS]

01:08:27   out they're completely different and [TS]

01:08:29   when I wake up in the morning I just [TS]

01:08:31   assume everything's gonna be fine and uh [TS]

01:08:34   and that optimism also means that I have [TS]

01:08:38   never gone through that aspect of aging [TS]

01:08:41   where you're like what's going to break [TS]

01:08:42   next you know I'm not worried about [TS]

01:08:45   cancer I don't sit around and you know [TS]

01:08:48   and I [TS]

01:08:49   I don't I don't scheme in such a way [TS]

01:08:52   that I'm like I think I think my liver [TS]

01:08:53   is going wrong you know I feel that like [TS]

01:08:55   hyper-vigilance about like I better [TS]

01:08:57   watch out and like start you know cuz if [TS]

01:08:59   I can guess what it is it'll be easier [TS]

01:09:01   to deal with you know consumed by that [TS]

01:09:03   I'm not but I am at the I am at that [TS]

01:09:08   point in life where I do realize that [TS]

01:09:10   something's gonna kill me right I mean [TS]

01:09:13   theoretically it's gonna be something [TS]

01:09:15   you could be the first one you know I [TS]

01:09:17   don't think so skinny PAP or teal I [TS]

01:09:19   think the first person that yeah it's [TS]

01:09:22   gonna be Peter teal because he's gonna [TS]

01:09:23   keep using like virgin blood mhm [TS]

01:09:25   tell me one other virgins til they run [TS]

01:09:27   out right but no I'm not gonna live [TS]

01:09:29   forever something's gonna get me now [TS]

01:09:31   what is it yeah I know you know is it [TS]

01:09:33   going to be enemy fire probably not so [TS]

01:09:37   something right and and so just even [TS]

01:09:41   that idea then you start doing those [TS]

01:09:43   assessments we walk out of the door and [TS]

01:09:45   you're like everything seems to be [TS]

01:09:46   working fine [TS]

01:09:47   but that's what they all say oh yeah [TS]

01:09:49   everything's fine until it's not right [TS]

01:09:52   you can really drive yourself crazy with [TS]

01:09:54   that stuff though yeah I don't want to [TS]

01:09:57   go crazy that's another way to go nah [TS]

01:09:59   see that's how they get you [TS]

01:10:00   yeah I don't want to drive myself crazy [TS]

01:10:02   thinking about it mmm-hmm how dumb would [TS]

01:10:04   that be what did he die of being crazy [TS]

01:10:06   about worrying about what he was gonna [TS]

01:10:07   die of that's not the coroner's report [TS]

01:10:12   this is very very case [TS]

01:10:15   oh man who would himself good deal look [TS]

01:10:19   but I you know Tony if somebody asked me [TS]

01:10:22   the other day like yeah did your finger [TS]

01:10:24   ever heal and I'm like I mean it healed [TS]

01:10:26   as good as it's gonna is that what [TS]

01:10:28   you're asking [TS]

01:10:28   it stopped getting worse yeah most me I [TS]

01:10:32   can grab things yeah uh that's not I [TS]

01:10:35   it's not like missing yeah but but it [TS]

01:10:38   also I mean you know do you want to hear [TS]

01:10:40   it crack just let's see the ways in [TS]

01:10:43   which it's not fine and never will be [TS]

01:10:45   again [TS]

01:10:45   hmm so uh so yeah just I'm wondering [TS]

01:10:50   more and more even in spite of the [TS]

01:10:53   optimism that you know at some point I'm [TS]

01:10:58   going to have to at least get a gym [TS]

01:11:01   membership [TS]

01:11:03   okay now John's got a gym membership [TS]

01:11:06   yeah you know uh what what are you gonna [TS]

01:11:08   wear [TS]

01:11:09   and what's your workout gonna be like [TS]

01:11:10   would you have it would you have it [TS]

01:11:12   organized for you by a professional or [TS]

01:11:14   would be an ad-hoc work out of your own [TS]

01:11:16   design I think in general over time I [TS]

01:11:19   have seen that if I do work with [TS]

01:11:22   somebody it's only for one time they [TS]

01:11:25   design an exercise routine for me but [TS]

01:11:29   I've had that enough times now that I [TS]

01:11:31   feel like I know how to go in and work [TS]

01:11:33   the legs one day in the arms the next [TS]

01:11:35   day and I know when machines well no I [TS]

01:11:40   mean I know what all the I know how to [TS]

01:11:41   do the exercises with free weights but I [TS]

01:11:44   don't eat you be actually lifting the [TS]

01:11:45   actual ding-a-lings yourself [TS]

01:11:46   I generally what I do is like the [TS]

01:11:48   complicated exercises like the butterfly [TS]

01:11:53   and stuff like that that probably are [TS]

01:11:56   much more effective if you use free [TS]

01:11:58   weights because they're the ones that [TS]

01:12:00   are really challenging to keep your you [TS]

01:12:02   know your all your systems in place yeah [TS]

01:12:04   I find those are much easier to just do [TS]

01:12:06   on the machine and not risk injury but [TS]

01:12:11   like your normal sort of up and down [TS]

01:12:14   weight lifting you just do it with free [TS]

01:12:16   weights it's the you don't need to sit [TS]

01:12:17   and do the do the bicep bar bicep [TS]

01:12:21   machine that seems a little silly I [TS]

01:12:23   don't know I think this is pretty cool I [TS]

01:12:25   like machines I use them you know I I'm [TS]

01:12:28   not I don't I'm not I'm not proud but my [TS]

01:12:32   workout outfit I think is usually red [TS]

01:12:34   sweat pants with a white rope or white [TS]

01:12:39   tie and a band t-shirt of some kinds is [TS]

01:12:45   good that's a good look [TS]

01:12:46   yeah some sort of band t-shirt or you [TS]

01:12:49   know I've got a t-shirt from the Racing [TS]

01:12:50   Form I've got a t-shirt from language [TS]

01:12:52   och Oregon you know the step can we be [TS]

01:12:56   listening to music or we be watching CNN [TS]

01:12:59   no neither you don't do either of those [TS]

01:13:01   in regular life no I would prefer if [TS]

01:13:04   gyms were quiet [TS]

01:13:06   Shh I wish they were quiet and I wish [TS]

01:13:09   that that everyone else wished that they [TS]

01:13:11   were quiet the idea of sitting on an [TS]

01:13:13   exercise bike and watching the news I [TS]

01:13:17   just cannot fathom how you could do it I [TS]

01:13:21   just don't understand it why would you [TS]

01:13:23   it's like I used to date a girl who we [TS]

01:13:26   would go on long walks together at night [TS]

01:13:28   and we would come to the bottom of a [TS]

01:13:30   very steep hill of which Seattle has [TS]

01:13:32   dozens and dozens and she would light a [TS]

01:13:36   cigarette and I would say we're at the [TS]

01:13:40   bottom of the hill sweetheart don't you [TS]

01:13:42   want to save the cigarette for the top [TS]

01:13:43   of the hill when we've when we've [TS]

01:13:45   achieved our goal uh-huh and her [TS]

01:13:49   attitude was like don't tell me what to [TS]

01:13:50   do and so we would walk up this steep [TS]

01:13:53   hill where we're both like huffing and [TS]

01:13:55   puffing and she's smoking the entire [TS]

01:13:56   time now we would get to the top and I [TS]

01:13:58   would have a cigarette a valedictory [TS]

01:13:59   cigarette sure but she wanted to smoke [TS]

01:14:03   all the way up I remember one time we [TS]

01:14:06   were out in the middle of the night and [TS]

01:14:07   we saw two kids in hoodies dart across [TS]

01:14:11   the street with hoods up dart across the [TS]

01:14:13   street between one set of parked cars to [TS]

01:14:15   another set of parked cars and like and [TS]

01:14:17   and duck up an alley middle of the night [TS]

01:14:20   and I said let's go let's let's chase [TS]

01:14:25   those guys let's find out what's going [TS]

01:14:26   on let's chase him and she said she was [TS]

01:14:30   always up for adventure and she was like [TS]

01:14:31   okay let's go [TS]

01:14:32   hang on and she lit a cigarette your [TS]

01:14:35   cheek chase while smoking I was like [TS]

01:14:38   we're in were not pursued and she was [TS]

01:14:41   listening in the interview I couldn't [TS]

01:14:44   believe it yeah like what the kind of [TS]

01:14:46   hot pursuit is that first of all the [TS]

01:14:48   Vietcong is gonna smell your cigarette [TS]

01:14:50   second of all then they're gonna see the [TS]

01:14:52   cherry right that's how the snipers get [TS]

01:14:55   you yeah yes that OPSEC yeah you know [TS]

01:14:57   that's why you don't do three on a match [TS]

01:14:59   yeah another thing another thing that it [TS]

01:15:02   would seem so easy to just work that out [TS]

01:15:04   with somebody [TS]

01:15:04   smoke smoke after we someone we're [TS]

01:15:06   celebrating our victory you don't smoke [TS]

01:15:07   on a chase has anybody ever I've never [TS]

01:15:09   known anybody to smoke on a chase before [TS]

01:15:11   I don't see how you can I mean it's just [TS]

01:15:14   so so against the rules of a chase you [TS]

01:15:17   know and particularly a chase like that [TS]

01:15:19   where it's like we don't know [TS]

01:15:20   these people are why we're chasing them [TS]

01:15:22   so you gotta be ready for every [TS]

01:15:24   eventualities what if they run into a [TS]

01:15:26   non-smoking facility [TS]

01:15:28   what if they hide your propane facility [TS]

01:15:30   right mm-hmm right [TS]

01:15:32   either way you're probably gonna either [TS]

01:15:34   you're gonna lose half a cigarette or [TS]

01:15:36   we're gonna endanger our lives but like [TS]

01:15:39   in those moments I don't know it just [TS]

01:15:43   seems crazy to me that that's when you [TS]

01:15:45   would that's when you would light up and [TS]

01:15:49   and I guess that's why we're not [TS]

01:15:51   together now yeah yeah all water always [TS]

01:15:54   finds its own level I was explaining [TS]

01:15:58   that some kindergarteners the other day [TS]

01:16:00   how'd it go well like explaining things [TS]

01:16:04   to kindergarteners I was like listen all [TS]

01:16:06   the water and I had like six of them [TS]

01:16:08   standing around me mm-hmm [TS]

01:16:09   because they wanted to know what a drain [TS]

01:16:11   they pointed at the drain pipe on the [TS]

01:16:14   side of the Billy and they were like [TS]

01:16:15   what's that and I said oh well it's the [TS]

01:16:19   drain pipe it takes the water off the [TS]

01:16:20   roof and it goes down this way and it [TS]

01:16:22   was one of those drain pipes that had a [TS]

01:16:23   bend and then it went down and then [TS]

01:16:25   around a corner and then down and I said [TS]

01:16:27   you know let's follow the drain pipe so [TS]

01:16:29   all these little gaggle of [TS]

01:16:31   kindergartners and I followed it down [TS]

01:16:33   into the hole and they were really [TS]

01:16:35   interested in it and I said well here's [TS]

01:16:36   the thing all water wants to get back to [TS]

01:16:38   the ocean so every time you see water [TS]

01:16:42   coming down it's going to try and get [TS]

01:16:45   back to the ocean and they were like you [TS]

01:16:49   know all their eyes narrowed as they [TS]

01:16:51   thought about that and then in the [TS]

01:16:55   kindergarden and fashion they each had [TS]

01:16:57   an example of water that did not get [TS]

01:16:59   back to the ocean [TS]

01:17:00   well what about it over here on the [TS]

01:17:03   playground there's a big puddle when it [TS]

01:17:04   rains [TS]

01:17:05   well the water is trying to get to the [TS]

01:17:08   ocean it just can't the water is not [TS]

01:17:10   magic bread right well and then the one [TS]

01:17:15   kid was like the water goes down into [TS]

01:17:16   the dirt and I said yes down into the [TS]

01:17:19   dirt in two underground streams that [TS]

01:17:22   take it to the ocean I even say you say [TS]

01:17:24   it can Aidan [TS]

01:17:26   one of the kids names was Aidan we have [TS]

01:17:29   three Aidan's in my daughter sons God [TS]

01:17:31   yeah uh [TS]

01:17:32   no Aiden Aiden stop arguing Aiden the [TS]

01:17:36   water tries to get to the ocean some [TS]

01:17:37   things you just accept on face value [TS]

01:17:39   when an adult says them what's happening [TS]

01:17:42   what's happening these days but did you [TS]

01:17:46   ever do everything to argue about a [TS]

01:17:47   puddle with somebody before you're okay [TS]

01:17:50   to argue with with with a grown man [TS]

01:17:51   about a puddle and tell him I'll paddles [TS]

01:17:53   work absolutely not I would have said [TS]

01:17:54   yes sir thank you sir may I have another [TS]

01:17:57   sir does eat too many avocados young [TS]

01:18:00   people do have more too many avocados [TS]

01:18:02   week so we took we took our kid last [TS]

01:18:05   night to dinner and she hates Indian [TS]

01:18:07   food because one time I ordered Indian [TS]

01:18:09   food and it was too spicy in it and it [TS]

01:18:12   spiced her out we went to this Indian [TS]

01:18:16   restaurant and I said to the man listen [TS]

01:18:18   everything's got to be just as bland as [TS]

01:18:20   bland can be because we're it's just it [TS]

01:18:22   needs to be baby food because I want my [TS]

01:18:25   daughter to like Indian food and I [TS]

01:18:27   always use the magic incantation after [TS]

01:18:29   I've explicitly described when you bring [TS]

01:18:32   this cheeseburger the cheeseburger needs [TS]

01:18:34   to be a burger what I want what I want [TS]

01:18:38   is a burger on a bun with American [TS]

01:18:41   cheese and literally nothing else and [TS]

01:18:44   they said no vegetables and I say [TS]

01:18:46   literally nothing else what about [TS]

01:18:48   ketchup and mustard it's so important [TS]

01:18:50   that you not put ketchup and mustard and [TS]

01:18:51   then I say I look at them I look them in [TS]

01:18:53   the eyes and I say it's for a kid right [TS]

01:18:56   and I think that's that's how you put [TS]

01:18:58   the put the dot on the eye is like no [TS]

01:19:00   like it's it's like saying like you know [TS]

01:19:03   deathly allergic anaphylactic shock [TS]

01:19:06   danger danger right it's for a kid and [TS]

01:19:09   so you tell them make help me help you I [TS]

01:19:12   need your help you help me help this kid [TS]

01:19:15   learn to love the the cuisine of your [TS]

01:19:18   continent yeah [TS]

01:19:19   and this was lucky because the owner of [TS]

01:19:23   the restaurant this is a busy restaurant [TS]

01:19:24   the owner saw us come in and was [TS]

01:19:28   immediately enamored with the child and [TS]

01:19:31   so came over to the table and talked to [TS]

01:19:34   her first you know hello princess how [TS]

01:19:37   are you nice let me know if you need [TS]

01:19:40   anything and she was charmed by him so [TS]

01:19:43   that when I said look we need this we [TS]

01:19:46   need [TS]

01:19:46   to have things be really like prepared [TS]

01:19:51   in a way that is against their nature [TS]

01:19:53   here in order to satisfy this child it [TS]

01:19:57   looks like that's what you're asking for [TS]

01:19:58   some kind of a gastronomical chimera [TS]

01:20:00   like something that probably shouldn't [TS]

01:20:02   exist yeah this is not a thing that you [TS]

01:20:04   would ever do on your own this is just a [TS]

01:20:06   thing that we're going to do to to [TS]

01:20:09   gradually introduce our daughter to this [TS]

01:20:12   idea it was really curious because I'd [TS]

01:20:15   always been a little bit not suspicious [TS]

01:20:17   but I'd always had one eye open in this [TS]

01:20:19   restaurant because I was like I've been [TS]

01:20:21   to a lot of Indian restaurants something [TS]

01:20:23   about this place is different and I [TS]

01:20:28   don't know what and I for a long time I [TS]

01:20:35   thought is this a Pakistani restaurant [TS]

01:20:40   is this some situation where they were [TS]

01:20:44   pre partition they were like making food [TS]

01:20:50   in in you know the garage and then [TS]

01:20:54   they're actually Pakistani or they're [TS]

01:20:57   actually Muslims but they make Indian [TS]

01:21:00   food is that the game here for saying [TS]

01:21:03   it's essentially non Indian oh uh the [TS]

01:21:10   restaurant is called naan and curry and [TS]

01:21:14   naan n ' Kareem on and Kirk oh I got a [TS]

01:21:18   lot get a lot of problems that's it's a [TS]

01:21:20   terrible terrible name but it's always [TS]

01:21:22   full of people and I'm I'm generally the [TS]

01:21:25   only gringo in there right everyone else [TS]

01:21:27   is from the subcontinent somewhere and [TS]

01:21:30   so last night I'm sitting in the [TS]

01:21:32   restaurant I'm looking around and there [TS]

01:21:33   are jobs all over and I'm like okay this [TS]

01:21:37   is not and that would be - more [TS]

01:21:39   Pakistani it would definitely read as [TS]

01:21:42   you know like that's more as a more [TS]

01:21:44   Muslim country as sometimes yeah [TS]

01:21:47   something's going on here okay I mean [TS]

01:21:49   it's not I mean the I think within [TS]

01:21:51   within the within that realm there are a [TS]

01:21:55   lot of hard feelings between the Hindus [TS]

01:21:57   and Muslims but also there's a lot of [TS]

01:21:58   people that are just going [TS]

01:22:00   two getting along right everybody's age [TS]

01:22:02   in general there are a lot of people [TS]

01:22:04   there so there's got to be people of all [TS]

01:22:05   stripes and everybody else good food [TS]

01:22:08   everybody likes good food but it was [TS]

01:22:10   conspicuous given the fact that I [TS]

01:22:13   already had some just some I don't know [TS]

01:22:17   she's just little tingle of like what's [TS]

01:22:20   going on [TS]

01:22:21   tingly hunches so the man came over he [TS]

01:22:24   was being very solicitous and great with [TS]

01:22:26   we had some mango lassis everyone was [TS]

01:22:30   happy and I said sir [TS]

01:22:31   where what is your origin story are you [TS]

01:22:35   where are you from let's just call it [TS]

01:22:37   that this is going well so far and he [TS]

01:22:41   got a big smile on his face and he said [TS]

01:22:43   Bangladesh morning and iced Bangladesh [TS]

01:22:48   you're talking about East Pakistan and [TS]

01:22:51   he was very excited he was like yes he's [TS]

01:22:53   Pakistan whoa and so this is the crazy [TS]

01:22:58   story of Bangladesh right it's on the [TS]

01:23:00   other side of India from Pakistan but [TS]

01:23:03   when uh when the schism happened when [TS]

01:23:07   the separation between India and [TS]

01:23:08   Pakistan happened right East Pakistan [TS]

01:23:12   completely on the other side went along [TS]

01:23:14   with Pakistan because they were majority [TS]

01:23:17   Muslim and then along the way somewhere [TS]

01:23:21   they were like listen we're not Pakistan [TS]

01:23:23   we're Bangladesh and they changed and [TS]

01:23:24   now it's now it's the nation of [TS]

01:23:26   Bangladesh but serving really delicious [TS]

01:23:31   Indian food and it just was like it was [TS]

01:23:34   an another door in my head opened up to [TS]

01:23:36   a room that I now need to fill the stuff [TS]

01:23:38   because I don't know anything about [TS]

01:23:40   Bangladesh most expect you could find [TS]

01:23:43   out now [TS]

01:23:44   well except a little bit of stuff BAM [TS]

01:23:46   yeah so now I've got a friend now I've [TS]

01:23:49   got a Bangladeshi friend who owns a [TS]

01:23:50   restaurant who now I'm gonna go there [TS]

01:23:52   all the time and little by little I'm [TS]

01:23:55   get them I'm going to ask more and more [TS]

01:23:57   questions until I learn until I learn I [TS]

01:24:01   guess that's how learning that's how [TS]

01:24:04   learning works at least in these parts [TS]

01:24:05   yeah or until you ask the wrong question [TS]

01:24:07   you cross the wrong guy I feel like this [TS]

01:24:09   man if I asked the wrong question he [TS]

01:24:13   would bear [TS]

01:24:13   patiently and in a very friendly way say [TS]

01:24:15   ah you have asked the wrong question ah [TS]

01:24:17   I love that in a restaurant or I do not [TS]

01:24:20   get that as often as I would like [TS]

01:24:22   somebody who really heard what I said [TS]

01:24:23   they were they weren't they weren't just [TS]

01:24:25   listening [TS]

01:24:26   they were just hearing they were [TS]

01:24:27   listening they heard through right and [TS]

01:24:30   they knew the answer yes yes and this [TS]

01:24:33   this man is he compete comports as a [TS]

01:24:36   wise person so he knows that if I am [TS]

01:24:39   asking a question that is the wrong [TS]

01:24:40   question it is not that I am that I have [TS]

01:24:44   ill intent but simply that I do not know [TS]

01:24:46   the right question to ask you know you [TS]

01:24:48   should see in fact I could be your [TS]

01:24:49   doctor [TS]

01:24:50   because I feel like that's something I [TS]

01:24:51   would love in a doctor you should find [TS]

01:24:53   out if he does medicine too because that [TS]

01:24:55   wouldn't that be nice to have a doctor [TS]

01:24:56   where you could go they'd say oh you are [TS]

01:24:58   that's a very good question but you ask [TS]

01:24:59   the wrong question my friend somebody [TS]

01:25:01   who's very very helpful and regional yes [TS]

01:25:03   he does he does give off the air of a [TS]

01:25:06   doctor you should just you know maybe [TS]

01:25:08   that put that on your list maybe next [TS]

01:25:10   time you're in there were you a doctor [TS]

01:25:12   so this place is called naan and curry [TS]

01:25:14   it's in Renton Washington it is not very [TS]

01:25:16   interesting looking from the outside and [TS]

01:25:20   when you go in there you are going to [TS]

01:25:22   have some kind of authentic Bangladeshi [TS]

01:25:23   experience but the man definitely feels [TS]

01:25:27   like a doctor and now I want to go now I [TS]

01:25:31   want to go ask him about some of the [TS]

01:25:33   things that are like what's gonna kill [TS]

01:25:34   me doctor yeah [TS]

01:25:36   please is it gonna be my knees or my [TS]

01:25:39   finger or what is it wholesome to feel [TS]

01:25:41   the way I feel about my feet yeah right [TS]

01:25:44   is that a problem you've got you [TS]

01:25:46   shouldn't do them all at once you don't [TS]

01:25:47   overwhelm he's got to run a fucking [TS]

01:25:49   business but it would be nice to get [TS]

01:25:50   some insight from somebody who's [TS]

01:25:51   actually really listening I do feel like [TS]

01:25:53   you know a nice enough older than me [TS]

01:25:55   that I feel like if I sat down at a [TS]

01:25:56   table with him and said this thing about [TS]

01:25:58   touching my feet in the night is this [TS]

01:25:59   gonna keep me from love is this gonna [TS]

01:26:02   like lead I keep me outside of you [TS]

01:26:04   that's the wrong question my friend and [TS]

01:26:05   he's gonna be like right well that is a [TS]

01:26:07   good question but do you guys go out and [TS]

01:26:09   play catch so yeah [TS]

01:26:13   Oh [TS]

01:26:13   [Music] [TS]