Roderick on the Line

00:00:01 ◼   ► [Music] [TS]

00:00:04 ◼   ► hello hi John [TS]

00:00:07 ◼   ► hi Merlin how's it going good spooky [TS]

00:00:14 ◼   ► spooky yeah Spooky's going on over here [TS]

00:00:18 ◼   ► oh okay is there something you can share [TS]

00:00:20 ◼   ► with our listeners yeah I think so it's [TS]

00:00:23 ◼   ► it's a it's a mystery it's a you know [TS]

00:00:27 ◼   ► it's like a Nancy Drew mystery hmm you [TS]

00:00:31 ◼   ► know we've talked about this before yeah [TS]

00:00:33 ◼   ► you're not you're no stranger to swag [TS]

00:00:36 ◼   ► bags oh yeah where there's some swag bag [TS]

00:00:41 ◼   ► to me it's something you get is this [TS]

00:00:44 ◼   ► sometimes called a gift bag it's it's a [TS]

00:00:46 ◼   ► bag or box of things you give usually [TS]

00:00:48 ◼   ► for participating in something maybe [TS]

00:00:51 ◼   ► it's from a show with like a trade show [TS]

00:00:53 ◼   ► or a performance and the second [TS]

00:00:55 ◼   ► characteristic is it's usually got some [TS]

00:00:58 ◼   ► kind of promotional materials like Hays [TS]

00:01:00 ◼   ► try this coffee and third it's usually [TS]

00:01:03 ◼   ► clearly identified why someone gave it [TS]

00:01:05 ◼   ► to you mm-hmm [TS]

00:01:06 ◼   ► they know you think are those [TS]

00:01:07 ◼   ► performance characteristics of a swag [TS]

00:01:09 ◼   ► bag you don't get none promotional stuff [TS]

00:01:14 ◼   ► for not doing something and not know [TS]

00:01:17 ◼   ► where it's from you nailed it right to [TS]

00:01:22 ◼   ► the carpet well urines here in the [TS]

00:01:25 ◼   ► northwest of course it's all all the [TS]

00:01:27 ◼   ► stuff in this rag bag is also locally [TS]

00:01:29 ◼   ► sourced of course right Fonfon - wag bag [TS]

00:01:33 ◼   ► farm swag bagging so I do a lot of this [TS]

00:01:37 ◼   ► kind of event where you are partially [TS]

00:01:40 ◼   ► from where you where where you are [TS]

00:01:43 ◼   ► promoted to even within the event with a [TS]

00:01:46 ◼   ► bag of things and usually there's some [TS]

00:01:49 ◼   ► chocolate-covered coffee beans there's a [TS]

00:01:51 ◼   ► gift certificate to coupon for a nap I [TS]

00:01:56 ◼   ► have sometimes a coupon for an app or a [TS]

00:01:58 ◼   ► comic book that someone on someone [TS]

00:02:01 ◼   ► that's also on the show has recently [TS]

00:02:03 ◼   ► done a lot of fliers but also typically [TS]

00:02:07 ◼   ► the nicer ones up here will give you a [TS]

00:02:09 ◼   ► bottle of local wine and a [TS]

00:02:13 ◼   ► you know in a big bag of local coffee [TS]

00:02:16 ◼   ► and of course I'm not interested in the [TS]

00:02:19 ◼   ► wine but I am interested in the coffee [TS]

00:02:22 ◼   ► and so I always if it's a show with [TS]

00:02:25 ◼   ► multiple people on the on the bill I'll [TS]

00:02:29 ◼   ► kind of do a little wheeling and dealing [TS]

00:02:30 ◼   ► yeah you said this is how you get this [TS]

00:02:32 ◼   ► is one of your primary if not za one of [TS]

00:02:34 ◼   ► your primary sources of coffee is you'll [TS]

00:02:36 ◼   ► trade wine for beans [TS]

00:02:38 ◼   ► that's right wheelin and dealin is I'm [TS]

00:02:39 ◼   ► happy to get the wine you're happy get [TS]

00:02:41 ◼   ► the the coffee hakuna matata the wine [TS]

00:02:43 ◼   ► happy get the beans every once while I [TS]

00:02:44 ◼   ► do a show with somebody like Bobcat [TS]

00:02:46 ◼   ► Goldthwait's that's getting on a plane [TS]

00:02:48 ◼   ► the next day he doesn't want either [TS]

00:02:49 ◼   ► thing he's like yeah you can have my [TS]

00:02:51 ◼   ► coffee so you walk out of there arm full [TS]

00:02:54 ◼   ► of coffee any pretty quick are you [TS]

00:02:55 ◼   ► telling me you've met Bobcat Goldthwait [TS]

00:02:57 ◼   ► and he gave you Gus cup his coffee [TS]

00:02:58 ◼   ► oh I've definitely met Bobcat Goldthwait [TS]

00:03:02 ◼   ► several times all right I'm gonna put a [TS]

00:03:03 ◼   ► pin in that I'm not a hundred percent [TS]

00:03:05 ◼   ► sure if I ever got a bag of coffee from [TS]

00:03:08 ◼   ► him but it's maybe a nap-nap coupon [TS]

00:03:10 ◼   ► it feels likely that I have almost no I [TS]

00:03:13 ◼   ► mean you know Jeff Goldblum whoa like [TS]

00:03:17 ◼   ► the law big numbers like yeah at some [TS]

00:03:19 ◼   ► point Bobcat Goldthwait will give you [TS]

00:03:21 ◼   ► coffee time line yeah yeah I mean given [TS]

00:03:24 ◼   ► the world given the world in which we [TS]

00:03:25 ◼   ► live anyway so as as we've discussed [TS]

00:03:28 ◼   ► before on this program I have a [TS]

00:03:30 ◼   ► stockpile of coffee probably you know [TS]

00:03:34 ◼   ► somewhere somewhere out there there's an [TS]

00:03:36 ◼   ► axis there's the axis of how long is [TS]

00:03:39 ◼   ► this coffee gonna gonna be store [TS]

00:03:40 ◼   ► storable before it becomes putrified or [TS]

00:03:44 ◼   ► whatever happens to it [TS]

00:03:46 ◼   ► my sense is forever but I had coffee [TS]

00:03:49 ◼   ► everywhere I had coffee like the like [TS]

00:03:51 ◼   ► monkeys in the trees and Thailand [TS]

00:03:54 ◼   ► everywhere you looked there was a bag of [TS]

00:03:55 ◼   ► coffee in the refrigerator in the pantry [TS]

00:04:00 ◼   ► in the freezer you know because people [TS]

00:04:02 ◼   ► yell it some people say put it in the [TS]

00:04:04 ◼   ► freezer to last forever [TS]

00:04:05 ◼   ► other people lot of people say not to do [TS]

00:04:07 ◼   ► that don't do that dries it out or makes [TS]

00:04:09 ◼   ► it bad yeah suppose the biome I had so [TS]

00:04:12 ◼   ► many bags of coffee that I could try [TS]

00:04:14 ◼   ► everyone I could put it in the freezer [TS]

00:04:16 ◼   ► for the freezer people I could put it in [TS]

00:04:17 ◼   ► the crisper for the crisper people was [TS]

00:04:19 ◼   ► in the pantry for the pantry people was [TS]

00:04:22 ◼   ► right on the counter for me [TS]

00:04:25 ◼   ► well I went downstairs today to prepare [TS]

00:04:29 ◼   ► a pot of coffee for our program there's [TS]

00:04:32 ◼   ► no coffee in this house I looked [TS]

00:04:37 ◼   ► everywhere this is this is not the first [TS]

00:04:40 ◼   ► time this has happened you've shared [TS]

00:04:43 ◼   ► this before this is this always a news [TS]

00:04:45 ◼   ► story you know every day somebody's born [TS]

00:04:47 ◼   ► who hasn't heard about your coffee but [TS]

00:04:48 ◼   ► you've talked before about the spooky [TS]

00:04:50 ◼   ► action at a distance of of having as a [TS]

00:04:53 ◼   ► background situation that there's coffee [TS]

00:04:57 ◼   ► around and every time you look there's [TS]

00:04:59 ◼   ► always coffee there and suddenly you got [TS]

00:05:01 ◼   ► your swagg coffee and then suddenly one [TS]

00:05:02 ◼   ► day you go you need new coffee you look [TS]

00:05:04 ◼   ► in the crisper you look in the freezer [TS]

00:05:05 ◼   ► you look in the pantry boom [TS]

00:05:07 ◼   ► no coffee where the coffee go yeah but [TS]

00:05:10 ◼   ► but there but there was this isn't a [TS]

00:05:12 ◼   ► thing where I was like oh I used all the [TS]

00:05:14 ◼   ► coffee and I didn't remember this was [TS]

00:05:17 ◼   ► like there were apples on the apple tree [TS]

00:05:19 ◼   ► and then the next day there were no [TS]

00:05:21 ◼   ► apples mmm and so I'm wandering around [TS]

00:05:27 ◼   ► and I'm like what as my daughter would [TS]

00:05:30 ◼   ► say she's she's picked that up for me [TS]

00:05:32 ◼   ► now and she will say 40 times a day [TS]

00:05:35 ◼   ► sometimes often times to herself what [TS]

00:05:40 ◼   ► it's very cute when a six-year-old cute [TS]

00:05:42 ◼   ► what she doesn't know that the next word [TS]

00:05:46 ◼   ► is fuck or hell right it's a lot of [TS]

00:05:49 ◼   ► restraint she just thinks that the [TS]

00:05:52 ◼   ► phrase is what the yesterday yesterday I [TS]

00:05:55 ◼   ► before I can catch myself I I am really [TS]

00:05:57 ◼   ► call somebody a dipshit oh fuck kind of [TS]

00:06:00 ◼   ► bad she said I don't think that's a [TS]

00:06:01 ◼   ► thing I said believe me it's a thing oh [TS]

00:06:04 ◼   ► it's a idea of what my family is to tell [TS]

00:06:08 ◼   ► inside words continues to go dipshit and [TS]

00:06:17 ◼   ► a dingaling definitely will cross the [TS]

00:06:19 ◼   ► street holding hands a jacket mm-hmm a [TS]

00:06:21 ◼   ► jackass way too harsh Oh God look at [TS]

00:06:23 ◼   ► that any links what a dish it yeah a [TS]

00:06:25 ◼   ► jackass is something else yeah that's a [TS]

00:06:29 ◼   ► shading closer to an asshole I think I [TS]

00:06:30 ◼   ► mean asshole continuum you're closer [TS]

00:06:32 ◼   ► with a jackass yeah if you're a jackass [TS]

00:06:35 ◼   ► I the feeling that jackass is what you [TS]

00:06:38 ◼   ► call an asshole [TS]

00:06:39 ◼   ► if you are standing in front of a diner [TS]

00:06:42 ◼   ► we'll see I think also I think a dipshit [TS]

00:06:44 ◼   ► is not being the way they are by design [TS]

00:06:47 ◼   ► I think I think I think a dipshit is an [TS]

00:06:51 ◼   ► accidental idiot and I think a jackass [TS]

00:06:53 ◼   ► is a deliberate asshole precisely right [TS]

00:06:57 ◼   ► like a ding-a-ling has good intentions [TS]

00:06:58 ◼   ► the only thinks they're doing fine [TS]

00:07:01 ◼   ► mm-hmm that's the that's the primary [TS]

00:07:03 ◼   ► characteristic of a ding-a-ling they [TS]

00:07:05 ◼   ► think they're doing all right this is [TS]

00:07:07 ◼   ► why I'm late I'm late because I'm a [TS]

00:07:10 ◼   ► dingaling Oh [TS]

00:07:11 ◼   ► I mean I want to hear I want to hear [TS]

00:07:12 ◼   ► what the story but just for what it's [TS]

00:07:14 ◼   ► worth I was trying to be helpful this [TS]

00:07:16 ◼   ► morning as I left the house I saw a [TS]

00:07:18 ◼   ► quantity of things there's there's [TS]

00:07:19 ◼   ► there's a class of things that we have [TS]

00:07:21 ◼   ► taken away for to have things done to [TS]

00:07:24 ◼   ► them and then brought back and and I [TS]

00:07:25 ◼   ► thought on the front porch were the [TS]

00:07:27 ◼   ► things being brought back and so I [TS]

00:07:29 ◼   ► congratulated myself to my wife I said [TS]

00:07:31 ◼   ► oh looks like we got a bunch of this [TS]

00:07:34 ◼   ► stuff the the was taken care of for in [TS]

00:07:37 ◼   ► this case its laundry the laundry has [TS]

00:07:39 ◼   ► returned and there's three bags and they [TS]

00:07:40 ◼   ► didn't screw up the order and she's like [TS]

00:07:41 ◼   ► uh it's dirty laundry I put up this [TS]

00:07:43 ◼   ► morning oh good and you know what I [TS]

00:07:45 ◼   ► thought to myself I thought to myself [TS]

00:07:46 ◼   ► you are such a dingaling yeah that's a [TS]

00:07:49 ◼   ► little thing I'm gonna have to go home [TS]

00:07:50 ◼   ► and take it back outside [TS]

00:07:51 ◼   ► that's almost Duds yeah that's a that's [TS]

00:07:52 ◼   ► a you're a dipshit right you know what I [TS]

00:07:55 ◼   ► think I've taken that hard right turn [TS]

00:07:58 ◼   ► into dipshit country yeah yeah [TS]

00:08:02 ◼   ► so ding-a-ling right but then there's [TS]

00:08:04 ◼   ► Ding Dongs oh I think I can kind of a [TS]

00:08:07 ◼   ► little bit affectionate it is ding-dongs [TS]

00:08:10 ◼   ► were like uh you know your pals right [TS]

00:08:12 ◼   ► yeah your ding-dongs but they're but [TS]

00:08:16 ◼   ► they really don't have it they just [TS]

00:08:18 ◼   ► can't figure it out right the ding dong [TS]

00:08:20 ◼   ► ding dong lose your keys over and over [TS]

00:08:23 ◼   ► like my brother is a little bit of a [TS]

00:08:25 ◼   ► ding dong every time he comes over to my [TS]

00:08:27 ◼   ► house he calls me like 45 minutes later [TS]

00:08:29 ◼   ► and says did I leave my wallet they're [TS]

00:08:30 ◼   ► hunting dog why did you take the wallet [TS]

00:08:32 ◼   ► out at my house definitely not a jackass [TS]

00:08:35 ◼   ► what everything dog my wife is a ding [TS]

00:08:39 ◼   ► dong he's also a jackass [TS]

00:08:40 ◼   ► oh so you see yourself you say what the [TS]

00:08:42 ◼   ► oh what the and I'm walking around and [TS]

00:08:45 ◼   ► I'm thinking you know I I don't know we [TS]

00:08:47 ◼   ► didn't talk very explicitly about it but [TS]

00:08:50 ◼   ► you know my relationship with my [TS]

00:08:52 ◼   ► millennium girlfriend [TS]

00:08:53 ◼   ► is a thing of a thing of the past now [TS]

00:09:00 ◼   ► [Music] [TS]

00:09:01 ◼   ► okay [TS]

00:09:03 ◼   ► take a moment okay okay this is the [TS]

00:09:08 ◼   ► first I'm hearing of it yeah okay so for [TS]

00:09:12 ◼   ► you oh boy okay okay well here's what [TS]

00:09:18 ◼   ► here's the timeline she moved in gonna [TS]

00:09:23 ◼   ► go too deep into it too deep but I'm but [TS]

00:09:26 ◼   ► but that was about a well that was a few [TS]

00:09:28 ◼   ► weeks ago [TS]

00:09:29 ◼   ► oh my and I was a it was a bumpy road [TS]

00:09:32 ◼   ► hard hard road but as I'm walking around [TS]

00:09:37 ◼   ► my house I'm like did she as she was [TS]

00:09:40 ◼   ► leaving steal all my coffee Oh No [TS]

00:09:44 ◼   ► knowing that thought don't think that [TS]

00:09:47 ◼   ► thought knowing that I wouldn't know it [TS]

00:09:49 ◼   ► because I had you know I had the coffee [TS]

00:09:51 ◼   ► that was in present use which was left [TS]

00:09:54 ◼   ► one did she steal the reserves [TS]

00:09:55 ◼   ► millenniums don't see race and they [TS]

00:09:57 ◼   ► don't understand revenge so that so that [TS]

00:10:00 ◼   ► I wouldn't even notice until it was till [TS]

00:10:02 ◼   ► like three weeks later you think you're [TS]

00:10:03 ◼   ► the millennium ex-girlfriend was [TS]

00:10:04 ◼   ► gaslighting you a little bit I don't [TS]

00:10:06 ◼   ► know it's like gas lighting is you don't [TS]

00:10:09 ◼   ► know how would you even know Here I am [TS]

00:10:11 ◼   ► I'm wandering around in my nightshirt in [TS]

00:10:13 ◼   ► your house in my house would use where [TS]

00:10:15 ◼   ► you sleep where your children play with [TS]

00:10:16 ◼   ► their toys [TS]

00:10:17 ◼   ► yeah I'm opening up the crisper I'm [TS]

00:10:19 ◼   ► going I'm looking I'm looking behind the [TS]

00:10:21 ◼   ► bags of frozen blackberries in the in [TS]

00:10:24 ◼   ► the freezer doesn't make for smoothies [TS]

00:10:26 ◼   ► hello there nice put them on ice cream [TS]

00:10:28 ◼   ► mmm [TS]

00:10:29 ◼   ► pushing stuff aside like uh you know [TS]

00:10:32 ◼   ► back there I'm all the way back there [TS]

00:10:34 ◼   ► where the packages of whitefish that I [TS]

00:10:37 ◼   ► bought some time long ago aspirationally [TS]

00:10:46 ◼   ► my freezer there's not a single there's [TS]

00:10:53 ◼   ► nothing and so you know what a bean to [TS]

00:10:55 ◼   ► be seen not a bean and I know that I had [TS]

00:10:58 ◼   ► yeah let's say $2,500 worth of coffee [TS]

00:11:02 ◼   ► I'm here in this house and it's just [TS]

00:11:05 ◼   ► like it learns [TS]

00:11:08 ◼   ► and so I'm thinking this was I mean boy [TS]

00:11:13 ◼   ► I'm underestimate I miss underestimated [TS]

00:11:15 ◼   ► her yeah every every girlfriend is [TS]

00:11:27 ◼   ► basically just a future ex-girlfriend [TS]

00:11:38 ◼   ► you got the car got the white fish yeah [TS]

00:11:41 ◼   ► yeah and vanilla beans so she throw it [TS]

00:11:46 ◼   ► out would she put in the Attic is the [TS]

00:11:47 ◼   ► whole point though there's the true gas [TS]

00:11:48 ◼   ► lighting to put it somewhere you would [TS]

00:11:50 ◼   ► never look and then make you feel crazy [TS]

00:11:51 ◼   ► when you finally find it there I don't [TS]

00:11:53 ◼   ► think so well your daughter put it in [TS]

00:11:55 ◼   ► your hope chest I think she filled the [TS]

00:11:57 ◼   ► bag with it and then like at the airport [TS]

00:12:00 ◼   ► was just handing it out free you know [TS]

00:12:02 ◼   ► just like hey you want some coffee the [TS]

00:12:04 ◼   ► Hamburglar meets Robin Hood yeah yeah [TS]

00:12:06 ◼   ► that's right she took from the rich and [TS]

00:12:08 ◼   ► she's giving to me so I'm drinking right [TS]

00:12:14 ◼   ► now I had to go I had to go in too so I [TS]

00:12:18 ◼   ► told you right my mom sold her house and [TS]

00:12:21 ◼   ► her what I didn't tell you this more [TS]

00:12:27 ◼   ► often [TS]

00:12:28 ◼   ► my mom woke up one day and was like I'm [TS]

00:12:31 ◼   ► selling my house that's how she works [TS]

00:12:32 ◼   ► she gets up 4:30 it occurs to her she [TS]

00:12:35 ◼   ► maybe she writes a letter maybe she [TS]

00:12:36 ◼   ► sends me a slightly terse email maybe [TS]

00:12:38 ◼   ► maybe she realizes it's time to just [TS]

00:12:41 ◼   ► move this unit yeah she said she said [TS]

00:12:44 ◼   ► with perfect clarity right isn't that [TS]

00:12:45 ◼   ► part of her the hallmark of her [TS]

00:12:47 ◼   ► decision-making is like it's just a [TS]

00:12:49 ◼   ► utter clarity like like it's just [TS]

00:12:50 ◼   ► hanging right in front of her this must [TS]

00:12:52 ◼   ► be done she's like fuck these eucalyptus [TS]

00:12:54 ◼   ► trees they're gone he's particular [TS]

00:12:56 ◼   ► eucalyptus trees she's like Barney's [TS]

00:13:00 ◼   ► about to go live on a farm I'm like [TS]

00:13:01 ◼   ► Barney is one of our favorite things [TS]

00:13:03 ◼   ► she's like not anymore [TS]

00:13:04 ◼   ► yeah and so she sold her house just I [TS]

00:13:07 ◼   ► mean it didn't it's not like it happened [TS]

00:13:09 ◼   ► overnight it was a it was a totally [TS]

00:13:11 ◼   ► brutal process that partially involved [TS]

00:13:13 ◼   ► her saying all of these things that are [TS]

00:13:15 ◼   ► yours in my house have to go [TS]

00:13:17 ◼   ► God and another part of it was all this [TS]

00:13:21 ◼   ► stuff in my house that belonged to me [TS]

00:13:23 ◼   ► that was part of mine crazy this is in [TS]

00:13:25 ◼   ► her voice that was part of my crazy [TS]

00:13:26 ◼   ► world also has to go to you [TS]

00:13:28 ◼   ► and so her 50-year accumulation of [TS]

00:13:33 ◼   ► disaster materials in preparation for [TS]

00:13:37 ◼   ► Mount Rainier erupting in preparations [TS]

00:13:39 ◼   ► for a 1 in 10,000 year mega earthquake [TS]

00:13:42 ◼   ► in preparation for the failure of the [TS]

00:13:47 ◼   ► grid due to a Stuxnet virus in [TS]

00:13:50 ◼   ► preparation for every conceivable kind [TS]

00:13:53 ◼   ► of disaster my mother had all of the [TS]

00:13:56 ◼   ► required implements and accoutrements [TS]

00:14:00 ◼   ► and now all of that stuff is at my house [TS]

00:14:03 ◼   ► I would go I'm sorry John this is just [TS]

00:14:06 ◼   ► stack is insane where where would it go [TS]

00:14:09 ◼   ► in your house well you have a barn oh my [TS]

00:14:12 ◼   ► god in a basement and crawl it wants to [TS]

00:14:16 ◼   ► be empty well not this one mm-hmm [TS]

00:14:19 ◼   ► scooters were supplying some starters [TS]

00:14:22 ◼   ► back there so many saw candles details [TS]

00:14:28 ◼   ► and sauce and also there was a while [TS]

00:14:31 ◼   ► there where I would every time somebody [TS]

00:14:33 ◼   ► was tearing down an old house I would [TS]

00:14:35 ◼   ► pull up and I'd say you use in those [TS]

00:14:36 ◼   ► columns Liquidators yeah yeah so I'd [TS]

00:14:39 ◼   ► grab everything I'd grab all the old [TS]

00:14:41 ◼   ► windows or the columns or the faucets or [TS]

00:14:43 ◼   ► whatever so there's you know I could [TS]

00:14:48 ◼   ► build another barn with what's in the [TS]

00:14:50 ◼   ► barn and I outfit it with its own [TS]

00:14:53 ◼   ► scooter and chop saw and anyway so but [TS]

00:14:58 ◼   ► part of the disaster material is enough [TS]

00:15:02 ◼   ► Nescafe on my property to to feed like [TS]

00:15:07 ◼   ► the second brigade of the Third Army [TS]

00:15:12 ◼   ► you could you could you could give [TS]

00:15:13 ◼   ► Patton's Third Army coffee for a year [TS]

00:15:16 ◼   ► with the with the freeze-dried disaster [TS]

00:15:19 ◼   ► coffee that my mom had stuffed into the [TS]

00:15:21 ◼   ► spaces between her rafters and now it's [TS]

00:15:26 ◼   ► all here and I'm like ah I mean but the [TS]

00:15:28 ◼   ► thing is as soon as you throw away your [TS]

00:15:30 ◼   ► disaster copy then [TS]

00:15:31 ◼   ► then Stuxnet and then we're then were [TS]

00:15:33 ◼   ► you gonna go to the smart guy now right [TS]

00:15:35 ◼   ► yeah right and freeze-dried coffee [TS]

00:15:37 ◼   ► doesn't take up any space you know it's [TS]

00:15:40 ◼   ► definite you stuff in everywhere put it [TS]

00:15:42 ◼   ► in your medicine cabinet so here I am [TS]

00:15:44 ◼   ► drinking disaster coffee wondering if [TS]

00:15:48 ◼   ► everything what you know wondering if [TS]

00:15:51 ◼   ► this isn't the fucking Truman Show and [TS]

00:15:52 ◼   ► some prop designer just forgot to put [TS]

00:15:55 ◼   ► the put all the coffee back after they [TS]

00:15:57 ◼   ► you know after they like switched out [TS]

00:16:01 ◼   ► the white fish in the back of the [TS]

00:16:02 ◼   ► freezer you say maybe you were away [TS]

00:16:04 ◼   ► you're away somewhere doing your work [TS]

00:16:06 ◼   ► and they had to strike the set for the [TS]

00:16:08 ◼   ► next next set up yeah or something you [TS]

00:16:11 ◼   ► know they were coming through and and [TS]

00:16:13 ◼   ► oops-a-daisy right somebody I mean I [TS]

00:16:15 ◼   ► don't know how many times they flipped [TS]

00:16:17 ◼   ► this stuff as a storyline it's just you [TS]

00:16:19 ◼   ► you can't know because then it wouldn't [TS]

00:16:21 ◼   ► be the John show I mean it's a it would [TS]

00:16:23 ◼   ► be amazing if they had if they were able [TS]

00:16:27 ◼   ► to maintain as much continuity as seems [TS]

00:16:29 ◼   ► to be in in play here man [TS]

00:16:32 ◼   ► but everyone until you start looking for [TS]

00:16:34 ◼   ► it like once you start noticing those [TS]

00:16:36 ◼   ► cracks okay so is this gonna get to a [TS]

00:16:41 ◼   ► point where you can tell me that you're [TS]

00:16:42 ◼   ► drinking [TS]

00:16:43 ◼   ► instant coffee I'm drinking it's a car [TS]

00:16:45 ◼   ► that is a disaster [TS]

00:16:47 ◼   ► I opened a giant jar that was John I'm [TS]

00:16:50 ◼   ► not even picky about coffee I her sealed [TS]

00:16:52 ◼   ► but like instant coffee is not good yeah [TS]

00:16:58 ◼   ► I feel like I'm backstage at a at a like [TS]

00:17:00 ◼   ► a Belgian rock show that's that's the [TS]

00:17:04 ◼   ► bitter taste they put out somewhere they [TS]

00:17:08 ◼   ► put out they put out some Belgian for [TS]

00:17:10 ◼   ► craft services they give you some [TS]

00:17:11 ◼   ► Belgian fruit to give you some some [TS]

00:17:13 ◼   ► Belgian some vison beer in and and then [TS]

00:17:16 ◼   ► and you said John always says hey can I [TS]

00:17:19 ◼   ► get some coffee and they say yeah maybe [TS]

00:17:21 ◼   ► in sewer and they bring out a jar and a [TS]

00:17:23 ◼   ► spoon for Belgium Belgian disaster [TS]

00:17:26 ◼   ► coffee they do there's a little bit of [TS]

00:17:28 ◼   ► that there's Belgian disaster coffee I [TS]

00:17:29 ◼   ► mean they Belgians also will give you a [TS]

00:17:31 ◼   ► mushy meatball that you're not sure that [TS]

00:17:34 ◼   ► you're not sure what's it's kind of like [TS]

00:17:36 ◼   ► crunchy on the outside mushy on the [TS]

00:17:38 ◼   ► inside [TS]

00:17:39 ◼   ► what a look I'm not opposed to a pushy [TS]

00:17:43 ◼   ► meatball [TS]

00:17:44 ◼   ► if you're washing it down with some [TS]

00:17:45 ◼   ► instant coffee but my free life or share [TS]

00:17:48 ◼   ► that a big glass of milk you ready to go [TS]

00:17:50 ◼   ► out and rock the house right and but the [TS]

00:17:53 ◼   ► tear the terror that's in me now is not [TS]

00:17:55 ◼   ► just that this may have happened but I [TS]

00:18:00 ◼   ► have to go to a store now and buy coffee [TS]

00:18:03 ◼   ► like a regular mmm and I don't even know [TS]

00:18:06 ◼   ► how to do that yeah you could you know [TS]

00:18:09 ◼   ► you could there's a service in your area [TS]

00:18:13 ◼   ► that you can go to like we could have in [TS]

00:18:15 ◼   ► two hours maybe less did you know that I [TS]

00:18:17 ◼   ► joined Amazon Prime oh the devil you say [TS]

00:18:20 ◼   ► I did I did I fight I lay down I flopped [TS]

00:18:26 ◼   ► down and did that thing that my dad used [TS]

00:18:30 ◼   ► to do which is he would flop down and [TS]

00:18:33 ◼   ► just go and then you knew that whatever [TS]

00:18:39 ◼   ► it was like the decision had been made [TS]

00:18:41 ◼   ► the thing was thing was the game was [TS]

00:18:44 ◼   ► afoot that's like just that slightly [TS]

00:18:46 ◼   ► breathy sound of hope leaving your body [TS]

00:18:48 ◼   ► when when you decided this is the thing [TS]

00:18:49 ◼   ► you got to do and so my mom has been [TS]

00:18:52 ◼   ► yelling at me about Amazon Prime for I [TS]

00:18:54 ◼   ► don't know for how long forever let's [TS]

00:18:56 ◼   ► play in quite a thing John and she [TS]

00:18:58 ◼   ► bought me a Alexa she talks to Alexa all [TS]

00:19:06 ◼   ► day [TS]

00:19:06 ◼   ► say it don't say don't see what's right [TS]

00:19:09 ◼   ► sorry sorry sorry [TS]

00:19:11 ◼   ► hey dingus Alexa who is Merlin man oh my [TS]

00:19:16 ◼   ► god you gonna make me edit this aren't [TS]

00:19:18 ◼   ► you the mother of dragons is Alexa who [TS]

00:19:26 ◼   ► is the mother of dragons [TS]

00:19:29 ◼   ► well my Alexa is in a different room so [TS]

00:19:31 ◼   ► she can hear me or maybe her little [TS]

00:19:33 ◼   ► light is spinning and and she's like [TS]

00:19:37 ◼   ► waiting for waiting for me to say [TS]

00:19:40 ◼   ► something I don't know I'm not sure my [TS]

00:19:41 ◼   ► religion is struggling with all respect [TS]

00:19:44 ◼   ► I'm struggling for breath right now [TS]

00:19:46 ◼   ► because there's at least four [TS]

00:19:48 ◼   ► revelations this week that are very the [TS]

00:19:49 ◼   ► least of which the least troubling of [TS]

00:19:51 ◼   ► which is you drank fucking instant [TS]

00:19:52 ◼   ► coffee that's there that's the fourth [TS]

00:19:54 ◼   ► weirdest thing this week yeah I know [TS]

00:19:56 ◼   ► I mean [TS]

00:19:58 ◼   ► there's a big week John this you're [TS]

00:20:00 ◼   ► dropping a lot on me go you get is there [TS]

00:20:01 ◼   ► any more coming [TS]

00:20:02 ◼   ► no baby maybe there's a ton going on [TS]

00:20:04 ◼   ► maybe baby [TS]

00:20:05 ◼   ► maybe baby there's a ton going on there [TS]

00:20:07 ◼   ► really is a lot of stuff a lot of stuff [TS]

00:20:09 ◼   ► going on not balls in here a lot of [TS]

00:20:11 ◼   ► balls in the air there's a there's an [TS]

00:20:12 ◼   ► echo dot in my house listening to me all [TS]

00:20:15 ◼   ► day long I forget it's there you know [TS]

00:20:18 ◼   ► what I'm talking to the walls I'm [TS]

00:20:19 ◼   ► talking to the plans I'm running I'm [TS]

00:20:21 ◼   ► running things by I'm running things by [TS]

00:20:23 ◼   ► the plants you know what do you guys [TS]

00:20:25 ◼   ► think of this the plants kind of they [TS]

00:20:28 ◼   ► think of me good advice typically but [TS]

00:20:30 ◼   ► now Alexa's listening or dingdong is [TS]

00:20:33 ◼   ► listening I don't know what she's doing [TS]

00:20:35 ◼   ► with that information but I got prime [TS]

00:20:38 ◼   ► everyone's well I will remember there's [TS]

00:20:40 ◼   ► a dot on my counter and I'll walk by and [TS]

00:20:42 ◼   ► I say Alexa play Black Sabbath [TS]

00:20:46 ◼   ► immediately bow bow bow bow and I'm like [TS]

00:20:49 ◼   ► nice mm-hmm [TS]

00:20:50 ◼   ► stop using that one a lot so but so I've [TS]

00:20:58 ◼   ► got this Prime now and I and I know for [TS]

00:21:01 ◼   ► a fact I'm not using it to its best [TS]

00:21:02 ◼   ► advantage because all I'm doing with it [TS]

00:21:04 ◼   ► is I'm just watching like McHale's Navy [TS]

00:21:06 ◼   ► for free castle but you give that man a [TS]

00:21:14 ◼   ► mic castle yeah that's the one that's [TS]

00:21:16 ◼   ► the philip k dick nazi one right I've [TS]

00:21:19 ◼   ► never seen it [TS]

00:21:19 ◼   ► it's the philip k dick novel about the [TS]

00:21:22 ◼   ► what would happen if we lost world war [TS]

00:21:25 ◼   ► ii oh I love both it's a pretty good [TS]

00:21:27 ◼   ► program you should check it out I don't [TS]

00:21:28 ◼   ► I'm gonna pan for this so man at the [TS]

00:21:30 ◼   ► high castle right but I have not yet [TS]

00:21:31 ◼   ► done the thing that you here to do which [TS]

00:21:34 ◼   ► is like I need a Kleenex then there's [TS]

00:21:37 ◼   ► like a guy holding a Kleenex yes well [TS]

00:21:40 ◼   ► it's not proud of this but yesterday as [TS]

00:21:42 ◼   ► I was walking around making a nice [TS]

00:21:43 ◼   ► coffee [TS]

00:21:44 ◼   ► I said hey dingus reorder paper towels [TS]

00:21:47 ◼   ► and it's on the truck now oh wow well [TS]

00:21:50 ◼   ► technically tomorrow but bloop bloop [TS]

00:21:52 ◼   ► bloop do you um you know it's fun is [TS]

00:21:57 ◼   ► your friend your web browser yeah is [TS]

00:22:02 ◼   ► that your definition of fun you know [TS]

00:22:05 ◼   ► it's fun you're front of your web [TS]

00:22:07 ◼   ► browser [TS]

00:22:09 ◼   ► to Alex Alexa Amazon calm Alexa da da oh [TS]

00:22:22 ◼   ► and then if you're not already there [TS]

00:22:23 ◼   ► click on the home button in this ugly [TS]

00:22:25 ◼   ► web page and you'll see a history of [TS]

00:22:28 ◼   ► what it heard you asked for no really [TS]

00:22:32 ◼   ► mmm-hmm some of these some of these [TS]

00:22:34 ◼   ► there's most of mine are play KQED at [TS]

00:22:39 ◼   ► some point it thought I said and then [TS]

00:22:41 ◼   ► you can actually listen to the audio of [TS]

00:22:43 ◼   ► what it heard you say it heard me say [TS]

00:22:46 ◼   ► I'll play God mommy so I played a song [TS]

00:22:49 ◼   ► called God bless mommy it hurt how old [TS]

00:22:53 ◼   ► is Andy how many summers I did ask that [TS]

00:22:54 ◼   ► seventy-four should use tinder it hurt [TS]

00:22:59 ◼   ► me say is nice to her it heard me say [TS]

00:23:02 ◼   ► mm-hm I'm just saying it might be kind [TS]

00:23:04 ◼   ► of fun to go down and look at some of [TS]

00:23:06 ◼   ► the things that's heard you say maybe [TS]

00:23:07 ◼   ► even even notice it heard you say [TS]

00:23:09 ◼   ► alright well here's how much is it how [TS]

00:23:12 ◼   ► much is that a sindbad sindbad all right [TS]

00:23:19 ◼   ► here's here's what it's telling me I [TS]

00:23:21 ◼   ► wanted to know the weather and then the [TS]

00:23:23 ◼   ► weather and then the weather and then [TS]

00:23:25 ◼   ► the weather was really paying for itself [TS]

00:23:27 ◼   ► already isn't it and then I said how are [TS]

00:23:29 ◼   ► you and she searched Bing for how are [TS]

00:23:33 ◼   ► you and she said I'm just fine thank you [TS]

00:23:35 ◼   ► and then and then I said what's the [TS]

00:23:41 ◼   ► dog's favorite instrument and she said a [TS]

00:23:43 ◼   ► trombone than the weather whether I [TS]

00:23:49 ◼   ► listen to or someone here listen to [TS]

00:23:53 ◼   ► radio lab and then I said say Alexa and [TS]

00:23:58 ◼   ► she said how to pronounce Alexa oh man [TS]

00:24:02 ◼   ► why is Lena Dunham controversial who is [TS]

00:24:09 ◼   ► Lena Dunham is there controversy about [TS]

00:24:12 ◼   ► Lena Dunham that I have no idea the [TS]

00:24:17 ◼   ► other people are in my house there's [TS]

00:24:20 ◼   ► some multi-purpose copy paper that I [TS]

00:24:22 ◼   ► bought that I [TS]

00:24:23 ◼   ► copier so I don't know why there's lots [TS]

00:24:25 ◼   ► of copy paper here that's so I here [TS]

00:24:28 ◼   ► somewhere mine is good that's that's [TS]

00:24:32 ◼   ► what is that's on you yeah here's thank [TS]

00:24:35 ◼   ► you doesn't feel that but uh hmm oh [TS]

00:24:38 ◼   ► that's okay is your desk okay [TS]

00:24:41 ◼   ► are you factory as far as I can tell the [TS]

00:24:47 ◼   ► only thing that on this that I have any [TS]

00:24:51 ◼   ► recollection of ever saying to Alexa is [TS]

00:24:54 ◼   ► Alexa play Black Sabbath so so I've used [TS]

00:25:01 ◼   ► it as far as I can tell other than I [TS]

00:25:03 ◼   ► mean maybe I was maybe I woke up in the [TS]

00:25:05 ◼   ► middle of the night and I was wandering [TS]

00:25:06 ◼   ► around mumbling about Lena Dunham but I [TS]

00:25:09 ◼   ► think the only thing I've ever said to [TS]

00:25:11 ◼   ► it is play Black Sabbath and it did that [TS]

00:25:13 ◼   ► very successfully so I should choose 7th [TS]

00:25:16 ◼   ► 2017 9:01 p.m. play Iron Man by Black [TS]

00:25:19 ◼   ► Sabbath boom that happened to you - oh [TS]

00:25:23 ◼   ► yeah mmhmm yeah see that comes up a lot [TS]

00:25:26 ◼   ► as like I was like I was you heard me [TS]

00:25:29 ◼   ► earlier riffing on that Monty Python [TS]

00:25:32 ◼   ► sketch and which my daughter and I my [TS]

00:25:34 ◼   ► daughter I watch a lot of money Python [TS]

00:25:35 ◼   ► now and she didn't remember what I said [TS]

00:25:36 ◼   ► and so I said oh play played Dennis [TS]

00:25:39 ◼   ► Moore and it played me a snippet from [TS]

00:25:40 ◼   ► Dennis Moore a lot of times I'll say oh [TS]

00:25:42 ◼   ► you know that want Black Sabbath song [TS]

00:25:43 ◼   ► the one from the Iron Man movie and then [TS]

00:25:45 ◼   ► it'll play it for you [TS]

00:25:46 ◼   ► Brown round noise for sleep that's nice [TS]

00:25:49 ◼   ► mm-hmm mm-hmm takes a lot of KQED in [TS]

00:25:52 ◼   ► here [TS]

00:25:53 ◼   ► Brown noise for sleep it's not the brown [TS]

00:25:56 ◼   ► sound it's brown noise yeah I was gonna [TS]

00:25:58 ◼   ► say get real careful what you ask for [TS]

00:26:00 ◼   ► please no please no brown trout that [TS]

00:26:06 ◼   ► stand up your Christine I you know I say [TS]

00:26:10 ◼   ► that to people all the time [TS]

00:26:13 ◼   ► Christine sir [TS]

00:26:15 ◼   ► who one get up on the downstroke get a [TS]

00:26:18 ◼   ► ball on the downstroke oh so I need I [TS]

00:26:22 ◼   ► kind of need to learn from people I'm [TS]

00:26:25 ◼   ► just gonna tell you buddy let go and let [TS]

00:26:28 ◼   ► God because it is a process to get [TS]

00:26:30 ◼   ► comfortable with doing this it might [TS]

00:26:31 ◼   ► take you weeks but it will pay off [TS]

00:26:33 ◼   ► it's it takes a while to not feel like a [TS]

00:26:36 ◼   ► dingaling pour it or or a ding dong when [TS]

00:26:40 ◼   ► you're doing this did your go you might [TS]

00:26:41 ◼   ► if you're like most people I know you're [TS]

00:26:43 ◼   ► not if you're like most people you will [TS]

00:26:45 ◼   ► feel very self-conscious about doing [TS]

00:26:46 ◼   ► this you will feel perhaps stupid doing [TS]

00:26:48 ◼   ► this but it does eventually take your [TS]

00:26:52 ◼   ► saying talking to the to the bot I'm [TS]

00:26:54 ◼   ► seeing the whole stack I'm saying closer [TS]

00:26:56 ◼   ► to the gallon getting comfortable with [TS]

00:26:58 ◼   ► the whole idea of this thing being in [TS]

00:26:59 ◼   ► your house is difficult getting [TS]

00:27:01 ◼   ► comfortable with remembering that it is [TS]

00:27:04 ◼   ► there and what it can do that's a whole [TS]

00:27:07 ◼   ► another thing as you as you say doing it [TS]

00:27:10 ◼   ► often then remembering enough to the and [TS]

00:27:12 ◼   ► then doing it and not feeling stupid [TS]

00:27:14 ◼   ► that that's two weeks right there but [TS]

00:27:17 ◼   ► then eventually you just find yourself [TS]

00:27:18 ◼   ► doing it all the time huh not not [TS]

00:27:21 ◼   ► necessarily by stuff like I say I mean [TS]

00:27:23 ◼   ► like I I decided I'm not using a clock [TS]

00:27:27 ◼   ► radio anymore because I wasn't using the [TS]

00:27:29 ◼   ► clock and I wasn't using the radio that [TS]

00:27:31 ◼   ► much and I wasn't use never using the [TS]

00:27:33 ◼   ► alarms I don't want alarms in my life [TS]

00:27:35 ◼   ► ever I mean like reminders but I don't [TS]

00:27:37 ◼   ► want to like you know so we've gone to [TS]

00:27:39 ◼   ► pure we have a clock in the room but [TS]

00:27:43 ◼   ► that's how I play the radio now I play [TS]

00:27:45 ◼   ► the radio through my dingus so if you're [TS]

00:27:48 ◼   ► ding is hooked up to other ding guy or [TS]

00:27:50 ◼   ► multi dingus household yeah I bet okay [TS]

00:27:54 ◼   ► I'm sorry I did not mean to take you [TS]

00:27:55 ◼   ► guys so much to cover so you what I was [TS]

00:27:59 ◼   ► gonna say though is you can do what's [TS]

00:28:02 ◼   ► called prime now are you aware prime now [TS]

00:28:06 ◼   ► no go to prime now amazon.com and now I [TS]

00:28:14 ◼   ► live in a far-flung part of town where [TS]

00:28:17 ◼   ► you can't get like instant or like [TS]

00:28:18 ◼   ► one-hour delivery [TS]

00:28:19 ◼   ► but usually within within two hours you [TS]

00:28:21 ◼   ► can get almost not anything but a lot of [TS]

00:28:23 ◼   ► the most common stuff delivered like my [TS]

00:28:27 ◼   ► cards compost bags cat litter car hard [TS]

00:28:30 ◼   ► caps you want but will they deliver like [TS]

00:28:34 ◼   ► vintage Navy uniforms we check vintage [TS]

00:28:38 ◼   ► Navy uniforms no they have men's Navy [TS]

00:28:46 ◼   ► adult crew sweatshirts for $8.99 [TS]

00:28:50 ◼   ► salmon in color okay well they deliver [TS]

00:28:55 ◼   ► Tony llama boots sighs well that's what [TS]

00:28:58 ◼   ► one L right yeah just well okay no no [TS]

00:29:03 ◼   ► they don't have that no let's look at [TS]

00:29:05 ◼   ► Mama's ll a ma I can get a book called [TS]

00:29:08 ◼   ► llama llama jingle bells or a llama [TS]

00:29:11 ◼   ► llama at mama [TS]

00:29:16 ◼   ► [Music] [TS]

00:29:18 ◼   ► Shamma Lamma ding dong you could get see [TS]

00:29:23 ◼   ► but let's look at coffee CFE oh your [TS]

00:29:25 ◼   ► coffee coffee that's that's the thing [TS]

00:29:27 ◼   ► you can get you some some Starbucks some [TS]

00:29:29 ◼   ► donkey doughnuts some Chevallier [TS]

00:29:31 ◼   ► oh you get a big Maxwell House you love [TS]

00:29:33 ◼   ► that didn't get these these terrines and [TS]

00:29:35 ◼   ► I'm not saying this is always gonna be [TS]

00:29:36 ◼   ► the best but this is our go-to we do get [TS]

00:29:38 ◼   ► either Pete's or Starbucks French Roast [TS]

00:29:41 ◼   ► is our go-to and they will bring that 12 [TS]

00:29:44 ◼   ► ounces of that to your house $5.99 [TS]

00:29:45 ◼   ► two hours whoa now I know it's killing [TS]

00:29:48 ◼   ► the economy the other day I was looking [TS]

00:29:51 ◼   ► for some Red Wing boots for a friend of [TS]

00:29:54 ◼   ► mine in size 15 [TS]

00:29:56 ◼   ► Wow and I discovered that size 15 shoes [TS]

00:30:00 ◼   ► are not easy to come by [TS]

00:30:02 ◼   ► mm-hmm the companies all are like well [TS]

00:30:04 ◼   ► we make all kinds of shoes up to size 14 [TS]

00:30:08 ◼   ► and then they quit but that's officially [TS]

00:30:10 ◼   ► where the curve gets to there's not [TS]

00:30:12 ◼   ► enough people at that size to produce [TS]

00:30:14 ◼   ► those at scale and have them in stock [TS]

00:30:16 ◼   ► yeah that seems crazy to me that they [TS]

00:30:18 ◼   ► wouldn't at least somewhere out there be [TS]

00:30:20 ◼   ► like yeah we can get those for you we do [TS]

00:30:21 ◼   ► have some we just don't you know we're [TS]

00:30:23 ◼   ► not keeping them on the shelves here [TS]

00:30:24 ◼   ► very hard so can you see if Amazon can [TS]

00:30:27 ◼   ► can can your Amazon help me find a size [TS]

00:30:30 ◼   ► 15 Red Wings [TS]

00:30:32 ◼   ► well I I'm gonna just guess they're not [TS]

00:30:36 ◼   ► gonna have size 15 shoes for two-hour [TS]

00:30:38 ◼   ► delivery you're looking more at the [TS]

00:30:40 ◼   ► kinds of things one says oh I'm out of [TS]

00:30:42 ◼   ► paper towels yeah or I want to get or [TS]

00:30:45 ◼   ► you could buy another Amazon that goes [TS]

00:30:47 ◼   ► to you it's that goes all the way down [TS]

00:30:53 ◼   ► hmm let's let go in black or white you [TS]

00:30:57 ◼   ► can get a dot you can get it you can get [TS]

00:30:59 ◼   ► a case for your dot oh I got case but [TS]

00:31:02 ◼   ► aren't you supposed to just leave them [TS]

00:31:03 ◼   ► lying around while I make it case on [TS]

00:31:06 ◼   ► them I don't know I think some people [TS]

00:31:08 ◼   ► are fussy about those things that's also [TS]

00:31:10 ◼   ► get Jesse thorn kind of thing to do to [TS]

00:31:12 ◼   ► put it put your your dot in a case you [TS]

00:31:14 ◼   ► get put your dot into KC you know I [TS]

00:31:15 ◼   ► don't that I don't want that then you [TS]

00:31:17 ◼   ► get a case removing tool it seems to me [TS]

00:31:20 ◼   ► in my own life that things like paper [TS]

00:31:23 ◼   ► towels and coffee and butter and socks [TS]

00:31:27 ◼   ► and stuff like that are never the things [TS]

00:31:29 ◼   ► that I find myself needing what I need [TS]

00:31:38 ◼   ► what I look on the internet for in the [TS]

00:31:40 ◼   ► middle of the night is like just like [TS]

00:31:46 ◼   ► really weird stuff a window where he [TS]

00:31:48 ◼   ► campaigned pin yeah that I did but I [TS]

00:31:51 ◼   ► feel like I desperately need that [TS]

00:31:52 ◼   ► delivered in 24 hours now I know the [TS]

00:31:54 ◼   ► feeling a problem like I need some I [TS]

00:31:57 ◼   ► need like as many des sont pullover [TS]

00:32:01 ◼   ► windbreakers as I can get [TS]

00:32:03 ◼   ► what's your bottom price get him here [TS]

00:32:07 ◼   ► ASAP and then you know then I ordered [TS]

00:32:09 ◼   ► them on mass and then I said every [TS]

00:32:12 ◼   ► everyday on my chair and I watched down [TS]

00:32:15 ◼   ► the road for the truck to arrive I know [TS]

00:32:17 ◼   ► and it's like come on come on this is [TS]

00:32:20 ◼   ► what I need and it's like butter and [TS]

00:32:22 ◼   ► bread and stuff that you know that stuff [TS]

00:32:25 ◼   ► finds its way to you it's a quote it e [TS]

00:32:27 ◼   ► you know that's that's either that's the [TS]

00:32:29 ◼   ► easy as you say the low-hanging fruit or [TS]

00:32:31 ◼   ► the low-hanging bread yeah yeah so okay [TS]

00:32:34 ◼   ► so I'm looking here at at prime now [TS]

00:32:36 ◼   ► amazon.com org I see here snacks mm-hmm [TS]

00:32:41 ◼   ► shop clothing and accessories I'm gonna [TS]

00:32:43 ◼   ► go there in a minute [TS]

00:32:44 ◼   ► shop Ben & Jerry's that's a whole layer [TS]

00:32:47 ◼   ► that might be a business development [TS]

00:32:49 ◼   ► relationship huh [TS]

00:32:50 ◼   ► top layer ben jerry's summer treats [TS]

00:32:53 ◼   ► business development okay but just lose [TS]

00:32:55 ◼   ► the search field and search you some [TS]

00:32:57 ◼   ► coffee [TS]

00:32:57 ◼   ► here are some partners washable yeah do [TS]

00:33:00 ◼   ► you have those there this is this is [TS]

00:33:02 ◼   ► regional elijah meyer oh these are local [TS]

00:33:05 ◼   ► stores i see and right right here the [TS]

00:33:06 ◼   ► first first local store in seattle [TS]

00:33:08 ◼   ► amazon [TS]

00:33:09 ◼   ► yeah shop local store if you got amazon [TS]

00:33:11 ◼   ► peninsula beauty pet food express I've [TS]

00:33:16 ◼   ► talked about talent always confuses me [TS]

00:33:18 ◼   ► hmm okay top categories grocery alcohol [TS]

00:33:22 ◼   ► help and beauty health and beauty HB a [TS]

00:33:24 ◼   ► they call it oh I do need some q-tips [TS]

00:33:26 ◼   ► hahaha see ya you know never stick [TS]

00:33:29 ◼   ► anything inside your ear bigger than [TS]

00:33:30 ◼   ► your elbow [TS]

00:33:31 ◼   ► mm-hm except for this thing that's [TS]

00:33:32 ◼   ► specifically designed to do that you're [TS]

00:33:33 ◼   ► not supposed to do I do it I do it every [TS]

00:33:36 ◼   ► night when I'm watching TV [TS]

00:33:36 ◼   ► do you know Scott Simpson gave me a [TS]

00:33:38 ◼   ► Japanese ear cleaner mmm high time he [TS]

00:33:43 ◼   ► gave me some sponges yeah he's crazy [TS]

00:33:46 ◼   ► about those freaking sponges you know [TS]

00:33:48 ◼   ► we're talking about a guy I haven't [TS]

00:33:49 ◼   ► spoken to in a year cuz he won't a [TS]

00:33:50 ◼   ► return to return my taxes like he it's [TS]

00:33:52 ◼   ► like he turned into a he turn into a [TS]

00:33:55 ◼   ► cloud hmm but I but I still have all [TS]

00:33:58 ◼   ► these sponges under my kitchen counter [TS]

00:33:59 ◼   ► every time I look at him I get the magic [TS]

00:34:02 ◼   ► sponges yeah yeah household essentials [TS]

00:34:05 ◼   ► electronics and video games Amazon [TS]

00:34:07 ◼   ► devices that's its own I could get a [TS]

00:34:09 ◼   ► fire tablet pet supplies toys kids and [TS]

00:34:13 ◼   ► baby home kitchen I am so sorry John I I [TS]

00:34:16 ◼   ► have grossly derailed this whole [TS]

00:34:18 ◼   ► conversation by introducing you to this [TS]

00:34:20 ◼   ► world I just want you to be aware of it [TS]

00:34:21 ◼   ► headphone about headphones how many [TS]

00:34:25 ◼   ► times do you buy a new pair of [TS]

00:34:26 ◼   ► headphones like things to listen to [TS]

00:34:31 ◼   ► music on the go on my ears okay not that [TS]

00:34:36 ◼   ► often [TS]

00:34:41 ◼   ► my average is out - once a year no kind [TS]

00:34:45 ◼   ► of you might go - but one thing is I [TS]

00:34:47 ◼   ► bought the Apple cordless ones and I'm [TS]

00:34:49 ◼   ► pretty happy with them so I used those a [TS]

00:34:51 ◼   ► lot before that I used this these really [TS]

00:34:53 ◼   ► nice in your little butt plugs you put [TS]

00:34:55 ◼   ► in your ear and they were really nice [TS]

00:34:57 ◼   ► and they work great with the iPhone but [TS]

00:34:59 ◼   ► they weren't made very well I'd have to [TS]

00:35:00 ◼   ► replace them in just about every year [TS]

00:35:02 ◼   ► but no not too much do you [TS]

00:35:06 ◼   ► you've made the transition to wireless [TS]

00:35:10 ◼   ► earbuds and you're no longer somebody [TS]

00:35:11 ◼   ► that's yelling at Apple for not having a [TS]

00:35:13 ◼   ► headphone jack no I'm still yelling at [TS]

00:35:15 ◼   ► that cuz look if you can if we want to [TS]

00:35:16 ◼   ► listen in the car [TS]

00:35:17 ◼   ► we got a dongle you gotta have a ground [TS]

00:35:19 ◼   ► goal John ding-dong ding-dong tells very [TS]

00:35:27 ◼   ► funfetti wait wait come back come back [TS]

00:35:28 ◼   ► what is that what it's funfetti that [TS]

00:35:30 ◼   ► looks fun gluten-free cake gently Oh [TS]

00:35:39 ◼   ► strawberry Oh strawberry frosting [TS]

00:35:41 ◼   ► they'll just bring frosting to your [TS]

00:35:43 ◼   ► house John like a tub of frosting okay I [TS]

00:35:45 ◼   ► would order that shit you know what [TS]

00:35:48 ◼   ► here's what a shit show it is Ben and [TS]

00:35:50 ◼   ► Jerry's summer treats I clicked on it [TS]

00:35:51 ◼   ► here there's only five flavors okay [TS]

00:35:53 ◼   ► caramel sutra core I don't know Tara [TS]

00:35:56 ◼   ► knows that with a k' I don't either [TS]

00:35:59 ◼   ► Americone dream chocolate chip cookie [TS]

00:36:03 ◼   ► dough which is like yes it's good but [TS]

00:36:05 ◼   ► I'm not a freaking secretary and a [TS]

00:36:07 ◼   ► insurance company nobody like I'm a [TS]

00:36:09 ◼   ► full-grown man yes peanut butter cup and [TS]

00:36:14 ◼   ► chocolate fudge brownie also a [TS]

00:36:17 ◼   ► secretarial Brent so where is the New [TS]

00:36:23 ◼   ► York super fudge chunk where is the [TS]

00:36:24 ◼   ► everything but the these are the great [TS]

00:36:27 ◼   ► flavors these are the Ben and Jerry's [TS]

00:36:29 ◼   ► top flavors [TS]

00:36:30 ◼   ► oh there's one I like a lot what's the [TS]

00:36:32 ◼   ► call it's like chocolate fantasy [TS]

00:36:33 ◼   ► everything but the girl there's one it's [TS]

00:36:35 ◼   ► like chocolate chocolate chocolate and [TS]

00:36:37 ◼   ► chocolate it's like again it's like a [TS]

00:36:38 ◼   ► Monty Python sketch but it's like it's [TS]

00:36:40 ◼   ► like fudge ice cream with fudge and more [TS]

00:36:42 ◼   ► chocolate and and like it's all of the [TS]

00:36:45 ◼   ► little chocolate fantasy fudge master [TS]

00:36:48 ◼   ► here's the thing about the word fudge [TS]

00:36:54 ◼   ► yes there's nothing there's no there's [TS]

00:36:59 ◼   ► no access there's no way there's no type [TS]

00:37:03 ◼   ► of way to say fudge it's really gross [TS]

00:37:08 ◼   ► without it just sounds dirty just [TS]

00:37:11 ◼   ► resonating in the room and you try to [TS]

00:37:15 ◼   ► get it out [TS]

00:37:16 ◼   ► slip it into conversation like oh I'm [TS]

00:37:18 ◼   ► gonna get the fudge it's like you might [TS]

00:37:22 ◼   ► as well just clanged two symbols [TS]

00:37:24 ◼   ► together and then it just ring it just [TS]

00:37:27 ◼   ► rolls around in my head for the rest of [TS]

00:37:29 ◼   ► the day fudge [TS]

00:37:30 ◼   ► now you gotta live with that fudge if [TS]

00:37:32 ◼   ► you had a lisp still fudge judge [TS]

00:37:35 ◼   ► there's no lisby way to say fudge no but [TS]

00:37:38 ◼   ► you have any kind of accent fudge fudge [TS]

00:37:41 ◼   ► so anyway that's a way that you could [TS]

00:37:44 ◼   ► get coffee and and it's the strawberry [TS]

00:37:49 ◼   ► frosting looks pretty good it's got a [TS]

00:37:51 ◼   ► little Doughboy right on it creamy [TS]

00:37:52 ◼   ► supreme strawberry frosting no way I am [TS]

00:37:57 ◼   ► gonna try out their cakes you know [TS]

00:37:58 ◼   ► because I'm always looking for okay I'm [TS]

00:38:00 ◼   ► gonna put this in here this is one thing [TS]

00:38:01 ◼   ► I want in the middle of the night chalk [TS]

00:38:03 ◼   ► well you're saying that this isn't gonna [TS]

00:38:05 ◼   ► come in the middle of the night though [TS]

00:38:06 ◼   ► oh I mean you should go check okay so [TS]

00:38:09 ◼   ► here's what you do go put something in [TS]

00:38:10 ◼   ► your cart click on the cart and a bitch [TS]

00:38:15 ◼   ► it'll tell you let me see so when I got [TS]

00:38:18 ◼   ► to proceed to checkout Oh signing in me [TS]

00:38:24 ◼   ► get mini vegan chocolate cupcake 12 [TS]

00:38:27 ◼   ► count [TS]

00:38:27 ◼   ► oh yes you look at that select aisle [TS]

00:38:31 ◼   ► every time 12 12 to 2 boom leave it at [TS]

00:38:34 ◼   ► the door leave it at the door you tick [TS]

00:38:35 ◼   ► that off if it's not perishable that [TS]

00:38:36 ◼   ► leave it at the door [TS]

00:38:37 ◼   ► you don't have to interact with people [TS]

00:38:38 ◼   ► leave it leave it [TS]

00:38:40 ◼   ► ice cream chocolate molten cake no [TS]

00:38:44 ◼   ► here's my objection to cookie dough [TS]

00:38:45 ◼   ► brownie cake it is that ice cream is [TS]

00:38:52 ◼   ► more expensive to make than cake ice [TS]

00:38:57 ◼   ► cream is more expensive to make than [TS]

00:39:00 ◼   ► cake yeah so every time they put cookie [TS]

00:39:03 ◼   ► dough in your ice cream what they're [TS]

00:39:05 ◼   ► basically doing is hot [TS]

00:39:06 ◼   ► a giant space in your ice-cream and [TS]

00:39:08 ◼   ► putting some cheap cheaper shit in there [TS]

00:39:10 ◼   ► mm-hmm right you might have cotton ball [TS]

00:39:13 ◼   ► ice cream yes get your get as much ice [TS]

00:39:17 ◼   ► cream as you can in your ice cream [TS]

00:39:19 ◼   ► that's why they call it is man if you [TS]

00:39:20 ◼   ► want cookie dough you go get cookie [TS]

00:39:22 ◼   ► dough you're speaking out you slather it [TS]

00:39:24 ◼   ► with aftermarket Serge and cookie dough [TS]

00:39:26 ◼   ► like but don't don't put it in there for [TS]

00:39:28 ◼   ► me I'm not a child I know how to fashion [TS]

00:39:30 ◼   ► my own dessert say that again [TS]

00:39:35 ◼   ► oh oh no no no I was just suggesting [TS]

00:39:38 ◼   ► that if you're if you're grown-ass man [TS]

00:39:40 ◼   ► you know you know what kind of [TS]

00:39:41 ◼   ► aftermarket if you want the spinning [TS]

00:39:43 ◼   ► rims you know how to put it on your ice [TS]

00:39:44 ◼   ► cream you don't need some some some Wall [TS]

00:39:47 ◼   ► Street fat cat drizzling up your ice [TS]

00:39:49 ◼   ► cream for you just give me the fucking [TS]

00:39:50 ◼   ► ice cream I know what to do with ice [TS]

00:39:51 ◼   ► cream cute don't be cute with ice cream [TS]

00:39:54 ◼   ► don't put strawberry frosting on their [TS]

00:39:56 ◼   ► creamy supreme I know how to do that do [TS]

00:39:57 ◼   ► it I don't need a canister of that you [TS]

00:40:01 ◼   ► know I don't need that I don't need that [TS]

00:40:02 ◼   ► shot through my ice cream just give me [TS]

00:40:04 ◼   ► the ice cream that's why it's called ice [TS]

00:40:05 ◼   ► cream that's why it's called ice cream [TS]

00:40:07 ◼   ► and this this is the thing like cookie [TS]

00:40:09 ◼   ► dough mm-hmm [TS]

00:40:11 ◼   ► cookie dough is wonderful you see that's [TS]

00:40:13 ◼   ► how they get is what you're saying [TS]

00:40:14 ◼   ► that's exactly how they get you yeah [TS]

00:40:16 ◼   ► they fill it up they feel they're like [TS]

00:40:18 ◼   ► what's cheap cookie dough mm-hmm what's [TS]

00:40:21 ◼   ► cookie dough made out of like flour and [TS]

00:40:24 ◼   ► water and so let's throw a bunch of that [TS]

00:40:28 ◼   ► into this tub that should be filled with [TS]

00:40:30 ◼   ► fat creamy ice cream I heard on a an [TS]

00:40:34 ◼   ► informational podcast the other day that [TS]

00:40:35 ◼   ► in the old days one way of ripping [TS]

00:40:37 ◼   ► people off is we need to sell them like [TS]

00:40:38 ◼   ► a barrel of oil you'd like half fill it [TS]

00:40:41 ◼   ► with water so the oil would be on top [TS]

00:40:44 ◼   ► and then you get the water underneath [TS]

00:40:45 ◼   ► it's a similar situation here except [TS]

00:40:47 ◼   ► with with bad dessert decisions it's [TS]

00:40:50 ◼   ► exactly right that's how do you hide a [TS]

00:40:51 ◼   ► radio in Hogan's Heroes right well [TS]

00:40:53 ◼   ► you've put it in coffee like Eddie [TS]

00:40:54 ◼   ► Murphy does right if we get your German [TS]

00:40:56 ◼   ► bearer bonds and you could see it throws [TS]

00:40:58 ◼   ► off the dogs that was yeah that's right [TS]

00:41:00 ◼   ► those bearer bonds they'll know they're [TS]

00:41:02 ◼   ► they'll alert a dog like POW they train [TS]

00:41:06 ◼   ► them on bearer bonds yeah they smell [TS]

00:41:08 ◼   ► like cocaine is why does that why huh [TS]

00:41:09 ◼   ► well because if you take any bearer bond [TS]

00:41:12 ◼   ► it's gonna have a trace of cocaine on it [TS]

00:41:14 ◼   ► I don't know if that's like exactly [TS]

00:41:16 ◼   ► scientifical but I think in practice [TS]

00:41:19 ◼   ► your [TS]

00:41:19 ◼   ► you're gonna find flecks of coke on [TS]

00:41:21 ◼   ► pretty much any kind of the monetary [TS]

00:41:24 ◼   ► device like that especially from Germany [TS]

00:41:26 ◼   ► let's be honest well you remember you [TS]

00:41:29 ◼   ► remember in there I think you I think [TS]

00:41:30 ◼   ► this was not a thing maybe they said [TS]

00:41:32 ◼   ► this in the 80s maybe it was only in the [TS]

00:41:34 ◼   ► 90s but that every hundred dollar bill [TS]

00:41:37 ◼   ► in circulation in America had cocaine on [TS]

00:41:39 ◼   ► it did you ever hear over here that you [TS]

00:41:42 ◼   ► think that's that's a lot of large [TS]

00:41:44 ◼   ► numbers type situation yeah I feel like [TS]

00:41:46 ◼   ► it's strange that explains almost [TS]

00:41:48 ◼   ► everything is the law of large numbers [TS]

00:41:49 ◼   ► law of large numbers it feels to me more [TS]

00:41:53 ◼   ► in the category of the type of thing [TS]

00:41:56 ◼   ► that stoners say to each other while [TS]

00:42:00 ◼   ► they're sitting around like messing with [TS]

00:42:02 ◼   ► their drug paraphernalia sure yeah like [TS]

00:42:06 ◼   ► like a cop if you ask a cop if he's a [TS]

00:42:08 ◼   ► cop you have to tell you he's going to [TS]

00:42:09 ◼   ► show you is dick yeah right like oh dude [TS]

00:42:13 ◼   ► every hundred dollar bill in America has [TS]

00:42:14 ◼   ► cocaine on it it's just the type of [TS]

00:42:16 ◼   ► thing that drug people say in order to [TS]

00:42:18 ◼   ► yeah the conversation that's like why [TS]

00:42:21 ◼   ► snoops exists why Snopes exists yeah do [TS]

00:42:25 ◼   ► you know if you go into a baskin-robbins [TS]

00:42:26 ◼   ► with a dog they have to give you free [TS]

00:42:27 ◼   ► ice cream some are you sure about that [TS]

00:42:31 ◼   ► pretty sure yeah you know it justifies I [TS]

00:42:34 ◼   ► think within a drug subculture it should [TS]

00:42:37 ◼   ► just just of justifies like it [TS]

00:42:42 ◼   ► promulgates it but that we're not the [TS]

00:42:45 ◼   ► ones that are crazy mm-hmm it's the it's [TS]

00:42:48 ◼   ► the world that's crazy [TS]

00:42:49 ◼   ► mm-hmm you know it's that little bit of [TS]

00:42:52 ◼   ► there was a while there where every [TS]

00:42:53 ◼   ► person I knew that was that was on the [TS]

00:42:57 ◼   ► drugs was reading a book called behold [TS]

00:42:59 ◼   ► the pale horse are you familiar with the [TS]

00:43:02 ◼   ► book behold the pale horse the hold the [TS]

00:43:07 ◼   ► hold the pale horse is I think one of [TS]

00:43:11 ◼   ► the original source materials for the [TS]

00:43:17 ◼   ► conspiracy merriness it is the it's the [TS]

00:43:21 ◼   ► it was one of the original tomes where [TS]

00:43:24 ◼   ► all the extant conspiracy theories of [TS]

00:43:27 ◼   ► the time and I'm saying you know 80s or [TS]

00:43:30 ◼   ► whatever they were [TS]

00:43:31 ◼   ► all gathered together into one sort of [TS]

00:43:34 ◼   ► comprehensive like aliens are [TS]

00:43:38 ◼   ► controlling the government they live [TS]

00:43:40 ◼   ► under the North Pole they this is this [TS]

00:43:43 ◼   ► is what explains all the the windmills [TS]

00:43:47 ◼   ► in the desert outside of Palm Springs [TS]

00:43:48 ◼   ► but it also explains Jackie Kennedy's [TS]

00:43:51 ◼   ► the fact that her ring was red yesterday [TS]

00:43:53 ◼   ► and today is green like it was really a [TS]

00:43:59 ◼   ► comprehensive overview written in the [TS]

00:44:02 ◼   ► style of you know and like this is [TS]

00:44:04 ◼   ► obviously coming out of one guys [TS]

00:44:06 ◼   ► obsessive research into this stuff [TS]

00:44:09 ◼   ► pre-internet and so a long long time [TS]

00:44:13 ◼   ► before internet this book went around [TS]

00:44:15 ◼   ► the the land of of tweakers and it [TS]

00:44:23 ◼   ► wasn't that it was not associated at the [TS]

00:44:27 ◼   ► time with any kind of liberalism or [TS]

00:44:29 ◼   ► conservativism it didn't have a taint of [TS]

00:44:31 ◼   ► being it wasn't as hilarious as it might [TS]

00:44:36 ◼   ► sound the idea of government of our [TS]

00:44:39 ◼   ► government being controlled by UFOs was [TS]

00:44:41 ◼   ► not yet tainted by politics yeah it was [TS]

00:44:44 ◼   ► a nonpartisan conspiracy theory right it [TS]

00:44:47 ◼   ► felt like you could be you could [TS]

00:44:49 ◼   ► absolutely think this is still true I [TS]

00:44:51 ◼   ► mean I have a lot of friends who are [TS]

00:44:52 ◼   ► leftist nominally leftist super God it's [TS]

00:44:55 ◼   ► it's you know no question absolutely but [TS]

00:44:59 ◼   ► it's it's it's something that explains [TS]

00:45:01 ◼   ► some kind of a big thing that doesn't [TS]

00:45:03 ◼   ► have a plausible explanation another way [TS]

00:45:05 ◼   ► and it's satisfying usually these [TS]

00:45:08 ◼   ► theories are satisfying of a way as a [TS]

00:45:10 ◼   ► way of understanding the world and the [TS]

00:45:13 ◼   ► beauty part of most conspiracy theories [TS]

00:45:15 ◼   ► is it serves to prove that everything [TS]

00:45:17 ◼   ► you suspected about some kind of group [TS]

00:45:19 ◼   ► is true because obviously this is this [TS]

00:45:21 ◼   ► is the kind of effort that they will go [TS]

00:45:22 ◼   ► to in order to keep us blind to reality [TS]

00:45:24 ◼   ► that's right well oh and this is the [TS]

00:45:27 ◼   ► great thing so this book behold the pale [TS]

00:45:28 ◼   ► horse was written by this guy bill [TS]

00:45:30 ◼   ► Cooper and his his credentials are this [TS]

00:45:36 ◼   ► is and I remember even at the time as [TS]

00:45:38 ◼   ► people were passing this around I read [TS]

00:45:41 ◼   ► it I read it I remember this was this [TS]

00:45:42 ◼   ► was the source of my [TS]

00:45:45 ◼   ► my great revelation laying in bed one [TS]

00:45:47 ◼   ► night just like totally whacked out and [TS]

00:45:53 ◼   ► I and that you know the the jumbo jets [TS]

00:45:56 ◼   ► go over Capitol Hill in Seattle I'm that [TS]

00:45:58 ◼   ► this jet was coming in on final approach [TS]

00:46:00 ◼   ► to SeaTac Airport and I was like if the [TS]

00:46:03 ◼   ► UFOs were going to disguise their ships [TS]

00:46:08 ◼   ► as something wouldn't they disguise them [TS]

00:46:11 ◼   ► as jumbo jets oh we've had this [TS]

00:46:13 ◼   ► conversation right no and then from then [TS]

00:46:15 ◼   ► on I was like every airplane is a UFO [TS]

00:46:18 ◼   ► and that came from that came from [TS]

00:46:20 ◼   ► reading behold a pale horse but so bill [TS]

00:46:22 ◼   ► Cooper here's here's his and it's not in [TS]

00:46:25 ◼   ► behold a pale horse that was just my [TS]

00:46:26 ◼   ► extrapolation of some of the data got [TS]

00:46:30 ◼   ► your mind right that's right now that [TS]

00:46:32 ◼   ► I'm now that I'm now that I've I've had [TS]

00:46:35 ◼   ► a glimpse behind the curtain of the top [TS]

00:46:36 ◼   ► secret world that actually is but Bill [TS]

00:46:39 ◼   ► Cooper's is like CV or his his bona [TS]

00:46:45 ◼   ► fides were that he was a former United [TS]

00:46:48 ◼   ► States naval intelligence [TS]

00:46:51 ◼   ► wait for it mm-hmm briefing team member [TS]

00:46:56 ◼   ► hmm and it's like oh right at the end of [TS]

00:47:00 ◼   ► that it's sort of sort of Peters off a [TS]

00:47:02 ◼   ► little bit it Peters off in a way that I [TS]

00:47:04 ◼   ► wasn't quite expecting like former [TS]

00:47:06 ◼   ► United States Naval Intelligence yes yes [TS]

00:47:09 ◼   ► briefing yeah make that sillier is if [TS]

00:47:12 ◼   ► you added the word spouse someone who [TS]

00:47:20 ◼   ► attended a briefing possibly United [TS]

00:47:22 ◼   ► States naval intelligence briefing team [TS]

00:47:24 ◼   ► member spouse secret wife in here in [TS]

00:47:35 ◼   ► plot so I mean so I so that even at the [TS]

00:47:39 ◼   ► time I was like team member usually this [TS]

00:47:42 ◼   ► is something that that indicates that [TS]

00:47:44 ◼   ► you're working out of Kinkos it I don't [TS]

00:47:48 ◼   ► see it like a rank there it's not like [TS]

00:47:50 ◼   ► commander bill Cooper former US Navy [TS]

00:47:52 ◼   ► intelligence briefing team member so [TS]

00:47:55 ◼   ► anyway [TS]

00:47:55 ◼   ► bill bill Cooper had some info he had [TS]

00:47:58 ◼   ► some [TS]

00:47:59 ◼   ► had some datasets but this was a thing [TS]

00:48:01 ◼   ► that now that we'd all read it the fact [TS]

00:48:04 ◼   ► that we were sitting around doing like [TS]

00:48:08 ◼   ► bad drugs that had been cut with baby [TS]

00:48:10 ◼   ► laxative made perfect sense given that [TS]

00:48:14 ◼   ► of all the people in the world who [TS]

00:48:16 ◼   ► should know about what's really behind [TS]

00:48:17 ◼   ► the curtain it would be us it would be [TS]

00:48:19 ◼   ► this group of people that had that you [TS]

00:48:21 ◼   ► know that never wash their sheets I [TS]

00:48:25 ◼   ► think that's still still true today [TS]

00:48:27 ◼   ► there's something about sleeping on [TS]

00:48:29 ◼   ► dirty sheets we're doing other things on [TS]

00:48:31 ◼   ► dirty sheets it gives you gives you [TS]

00:48:32 ◼   ► insight sleeping on dirty sheets now [TS]

00:48:37 ◼   ► that's a really good little soul lyric [TS]

00:48:45 ◼   ► everything's coming everything's coming [TS]

00:48:47 ◼   ► unglued I you know it it's one thing you [TS]

00:48:51 ◼   ► know I'm prone to melancholy mm-hmm well [TS]

00:48:54 ◼   ► you know it's just good yeah a good [TS]

00:48:58 ◼   ► friend of mine just recently said goes [TS]

00:49:00 ◼   ► with the territory which territory well [TS]

00:49:04 ◼   ► that she wasn't a hundred percent clear [TS]

00:49:06 ◼   ► was but it was some people just think [TS]

00:49:09 ◼   ► about like you wake up maybe two three [TS]

00:49:10 ◼   ► in the morning you go pee and then for a [TS]

00:49:12 ◼   ► couple hours you think about that yeah [TS]

00:49:13 ◼   ► you're like it was pretty she presumed [TS]

00:49:16 ◼   ► that I knew that what she meant and that [TS]

00:49:18 ◼   ► we were talking about the same thing and [TS]

00:49:20 ◼   ► she was like yeah it goes with the [TS]

00:49:21 ◼   ► territory and I was like right mm-hmm [TS]

00:49:23 ◼   ► but that was never clear exactly what [TS]

00:49:25 ◼   ► that territory was like is it all the [TS]

00:49:27 ◼   ► territory is that none of the territory [TS]

00:49:28 ◼   ► is it your territory not mine or [TS]

00:49:32 ◼   ► overlapping territories I was thinking [TS]

00:49:35 ◼   ► about territories but it's one of those [TS]

00:49:37 ◼   ► things that it's hard [TS]

00:49:38 ◼   ► strictly speaking to disagree with it's [TS]

00:49:40 ◼   ► one of those statements like I'm gonna [TS]

00:49:42 ◼   ► say like what are you gonna do that's [TS]

00:49:45 ◼   ► right what are you gonna do yeah what do [TS]

00:49:47 ◼   ► what can you do what can you do mm-hmm [TS]

00:49:51 ◼   ► right am i right that's one that's one [TS]

00:49:53 ◼   ► that you say all the time am i right [TS]

00:49:54 ◼   ► yeah just was like it seems to be a [TS]

00:49:57 ◼   ► statement about something and it's [TS]

00:49:59 ◼   ► really just more like a social [TS]

00:50:01 ◼   ► declaration of solidarity about [TS]

00:50:03 ◼   ► something right and I think that's very [TS]

00:50:05 ◼   ► very true of goes with the territory [TS]

00:50:08 ◼   ► because I think the assumption is that [TS]

00:50:10 ◼   ► that territory is [TS]

00:50:12 ◼   ► what either that it's that if you're [TS]

00:50:15 ◼   ► already you're prone to melancholy or if [TS]

00:50:18 ◼   ► you're I mean there's you know I'm I'm [TS]

00:50:20 ◼   ► public with being a lot of things right [TS]

00:50:25 ◼   ► prone to prone to prone to melancholy [TS]

00:50:28 ◼   ► that's the territory really crying [TS]

00:50:30 ◼   ► coffee loser yes stand full of swords [TS]

00:50:37 ◼   ► that's right they're coming about these [TS]

00:50:40 ◼   ► things that made that in fact maybe the [TS]

00:50:42 ◼   ► territory she's referring to you know [TS]

00:50:44 ◼   ► look if you have an umbrella stand full [TS]

00:50:45 ◼   ► of swords you're gonna be a little [TS]

00:50:47 ◼   ► melancholy sometime in the middle of the [TS]

00:50:48 ◼   ► night that territory's gonna have things [TS]

00:50:49 ◼   ► that go with it well sure I mean do you [TS]

00:50:53 ◼   ► want to talk about it no mm-hmm [TS]

00:50:55 ◼   ► why well it goes with the territory yeah [TS]

00:50:57 ◼   ► yeah I won't talk about it who are you [TS]

00:50:59 ◼   ► gonna say about it what came to do you [TS]

00:51:01 ◼   ► know oh okay that was nice talk fist [TS]

00:51:07 ◼   ► bump [TS]

00:51:08 ◼   ► you know oh don't be melancholy what [TS]

00:51:10 ◼   ► kept said no but nobody that's in the [TS]

00:51:13 ◼   ► territory would ever say that to anybody [TS]

00:51:14 ◼   ► else in the territory yeah it's like in [TS]

00:51:16 ◼   ► the x-men movie when their parents say [TS]

00:51:17 ◼   ► have you tried not being gay portrait in [TS]

00:51:19 ◼   ► this case tried not being a mutant which [TS]

00:51:21 ◼   ► is code for have you tried not being gay [TS]

00:51:22 ◼   ► its code people sneaking code a lot of [TS]

00:51:24 ◼   ► the time right right right [TS]

00:51:25 ◼   ► oh sure they do even now even now that [TS]

00:51:27 ◼   ► everybody's out you still got a speak in [TS]

00:51:29 ◼   ► code you better that's that's fuckin [TS]

00:51:31 ◼   ► poetry - yeah right am i right [TS]

00:51:35 ◼   ► i I was I was walking around the [TS]

00:51:38 ◼   ► backyard well no let's be honest I was [TS]

00:51:39 ◼   ► mowing the lawn okay and that what I [TS]

00:51:42 ◼   ► just first said wasn't untrue cuz I was [TS]

00:51:45 ◼   ► walking around the yard it's just that I [TS]

00:51:47 ◼   ► was pushing like a it's all your picture [TS]

00:51:49 ◼   ► of them when you get when you go from [TS]

00:51:51 ◼   ► any image of you walking around on the [TS]

00:51:53 ◼   ► lawn you suddenly seem much more focused [TS]

00:51:55 ◼   ► if I imagine you with a mower is it is [TS]

00:51:57 ◼   ► it is a hand push mower yep is it a [TS]

00:52:00 ◼   ► circle swirly Brady Bunch or is it like [TS]

00:52:02 ◼   ► a like a snapper we got a circle swirly [TS]

00:52:08 ◼   ► one because we don't have that much yard [TS]

00:52:10 ◼   ► like a you know like a like no no no no [TS]

00:52:14 ◼   ► it's the ones with the rotary blades you [TS]

00:52:16 ◼   ► push around like you're an old man [TS]

00:52:18 ◼   ► what's the other kind what's the other [TS]

00:52:20 ◼   ► kind oh yeah [TS]

00:52:22 ◼   ► oh I see what you're saying like I owe [TS]

00:52:24 ◼   ► the right the for what I'm talking about [TS]

00:52:27 ◼   ► here talking about a manual lawnmower [TS]

00:52:29 ◼   ► like a non power T annual yes right so [TS]

00:52:32 ◼   ► when I was a kid that my mom didn't [TS]

00:52:35 ◼   ► trust me with a with a motor vehicle and [TS]

00:52:37 ◼   ► so she gave you rotating knives on a [TS]

00:52:40 ◼   ► handle deadly 1925 lawnmowers and I was [TS]

00:52:46 ◼   ► out there we have huge lawn that was my [TS]

00:52:49 ◼   ► job right I got out of dusting and [TS]

00:52:51 ◼   ► vacuuming that know it vacuuming was my [TS]

00:52:54 ◼   ► job and mowing the lawn was my job I [TS]

00:52:57 ◼   ► didn't have to dust it really any kind [TS]

00:52:59 ◼   ► of machine on a stick that is pushed [TS]

00:53:01 ◼   ► that's gonna be in your wheelhouse from [TS]

00:53:03 ◼   ► the time I was about seven years old [TS]

00:53:04 ◼   ► those were my job okay and so I'm out in [TS]

00:53:07 ◼   ► this giant yard pushing his like it took [TS]

00:53:13 ◼   ► me all day in the hot Sun too long but [TS]

00:53:16 ◼   ► that was you know look it's a cutting [TS]

00:53:18 ◼   ► trail that's where I got the idea that's [TS]

00:53:20 ◼   ► right anyway I'm out there mowing the [TS]

00:53:22 ◼   ► lawn and I decided I decided this this [TS]

00:53:26 ◼   ► year I was gonna try something new [TS]

00:53:29 ◼   ► which was that I was gonna let my grass [TS]

00:53:31 ◼   ► grow tall it's gonna let it go up to see [TS]

00:53:36 ◼   ► oh you're gonna regret that but I was [TS]

00:53:39 ◼   ► gonna cut hands through the yard cut [TS]

00:53:43 ◼   ► paths through the yard you get like an [TS]

00:53:45 ◼   ► English garden that's right so I just [TS]

00:53:47 ◼   ► sort of phrase isn't that a phrase again [TS]

00:53:49 ◼   ► you get an American garden and [TS]

00:53:50 ◼   ► everything's got to be in perfect rows [TS]

00:53:51 ◼   ► and containers the English they fight [TS]

00:53:53 ◼   ► they love a crazy fucking garden that's [TS]

00:53:55 ◼   ► what the garden be the garden and then [TS]

00:53:57 ◼   ► we'll create what's called a desire path [TS]

00:53:58 ◼   ► I will make them half I will make it [TS]

00:54:00 ◼   ► back over the English garden way to [TS]

00:54:02 ◼   ► Flint Sun I quiet desperation is the [TS]

00:54:05 ◼   ► English Way and I was making little [TS]

00:54:10 ◼   ► roads through the grass that I [TS]

00:54:12 ◼   ► maintained for a while and it was very [TS]

00:54:14 ◼   ► fun and little the little roads would [TS]

00:54:16 ◼   ► come to little intersections where they [TS]

00:54:17 ◼   ► would connect with some other little [TS]

00:54:19 ◼   ► path that was headed you know over Hill [TS]

00:54:21 ◼   ► and Dale and you could go and you could [TS]

00:54:25 ◼   ► get in my little system of paths you go [TS]

00:54:27 ◼   ► wander all around question are they [TS]

00:54:30 ◼   ► curvy oh yeah fucking-a I love this yes [TS]

00:54:33 ◼   ► because I learned from [TS]

00:54:35 ◼   ► the united states interstate highway [TS]

00:54:37 ◼   ► system if you make a road too straight [TS]

00:54:39 ◼   ► for too long people will fall asleep and [TS]

00:54:41 ◼   ► drive off the road is that what they [TS]

00:54:42 ◼   ► learned yes the inner the original [TS]

00:54:44 ◼   ► interstate highway was I think the Ohio [TS]

00:54:47 ◼   ► Turnpike or the Pennsylvania Turnpike [TS]

00:54:48 ◼   ► and their the their first attempt was [TS]

00:54:52 ◼   ► like let's just build a road like let's [TS]

00:54:54 ◼   ► just build this road we're going from [TS]

00:54:56 ◼   ► here to there point A to point B let's [TS]

00:54:58 ◼   ► just build this giant straight road and [TS]

00:54:59 ◼   ► people after a fairly short amount of [TS]

00:55:02 ◼   ► time driving on just flat straight road [TS]

00:55:04 ◼   ► just would just become mesmerised and [TS]

00:55:08 ◼   ► just drive into there I've driven for [TS]

00:55:11 ◼   ► maybe half an hour and forget that I'm [TS]

00:55:13 ◼   ► driving and then I remember I've been [TS]

00:55:14 ◼   ► driving yeah so they they realize that [TS]

00:55:17 ◼   ► they need to put sort of giant gradual [TS]

00:55:22 ◼   ► turns and swoopy little you know like [TS]

00:55:27 ◼   ► give the driver some work to do even if [TS]

00:55:31 ◼   ► it's just kind of keeping these big [TS]

00:55:33 ◼   ► broad sweet swooping curbs but don't let [TS]

00:55:36 ◼   ► them look all the way out into the [TS]

00:55:38 ◼   ► horizon and see their destiny is a real [TS]

00:55:40 ◼   ► story cuz that's super interesting it's [TS]

00:55:43 ◼   ► like a tiny little bit obviously there's [TS]

00:55:44 ◼   ► the visual and physical the visual [TS]

00:55:46 ◼   ► stimulation the physical feedback of [TS]

00:55:49 ◼   ► doing that but I bet it's also just the [TS]

00:55:51 ◼   ► most tiny little microscopic like [TS]

00:55:54 ◼   ► dopamine hit in the same way that like [TS]

00:55:56 ◼   ► if you're driving a racecar or around a [TS]

00:55:58 ◼   ► track really fast I bet that's tons of [TS]

00:56:00 ◼   ► dopamine cuz you're making so many [TS]

00:56:01 ◼   ► decisions but that's just a little bit [TS]

00:56:02 ◼   ► of like I'm driving a car that would [TS]

00:56:04 ◼   ► totally keep you aware well so I feel [TS]

00:56:08 ◼   ► like this is a real malcolm gladwell ii [TS]

00:56:10 ◼   ► kind of idea this is this is sort of a [TS]

00:56:13 ◼   ► TEDTalk ii thing to talk about did you [TS]

00:56:15 ◼   ► know and I have no real I cannot cite [TS]

00:56:19 ◼   ► anything that I've read about this but [TS]

00:56:21 ◼   ► I'd be anyway to disprove you so I [TS]

00:56:23 ◼   ► wouldn't worry about it but if you think [TS]

00:56:25 ◼   ► about it you should be able to go you [TS]

00:56:27 ◼   ► should be able to leave Yuma Arizona and [TS]

00:56:30 ◼   ► drive to Austin Texas without ever [TS]

00:56:35 ◼   ► having a curve in the road I guess going [TS]

00:56:39 ◼   ► through Las Cruces you might have to [TS]

00:56:41 ◼   ► like mmm but certainly it could be you [TS]

00:56:45 ◼   ► know I'm guessing this is I don't want [TS]

00:56:46 ◼   ► to think about this too much but I [TS]

00:56:48 ◼   ► that part of it is also like what land [TS]

00:56:50 ◼   ► we could get you can eminent domain the [TS]

00:56:51 ◼   ► shit out of a bunch of that land to make [TS]

00:56:53 ◼   ► it straight but then there's some times [TS]

00:56:54 ◼   ► you're gonna get the the old man in the [TS]

00:56:55 ◼   ► up house you're gonna have to like have [TS]

00:56:56 ◼   ► a little path go around that or you get [TS]

00:56:58 ◼   ► a las cruces some point you have a [TS]

00:57:00 ◼   ► movable object and a you know in a [TS]

00:57:02 ◼   ► movable road you have to accommodate [TS]

00:57:04 ◼   ► that when I crashed my motorcycle back [TS]

00:57:07 ◼   ► in 1986 in Oakley Kansas my excuse for [TS]

00:57:11 ◼   ► it was that the road had been going [TS]

00:57:12 ◼   ► straight for a long time and then as [TS]

00:57:14 ◼   ► they were building it there was like [TS]

00:57:15 ◼   ► there was like a cow that wouldn't move [TS]

00:57:18 ◼   ► and the farmer was pulling on the leash [TS]

00:57:21 ◼   ► on one side and the US Army Corps of [TS]

00:57:23 ◼   ► Engineers guy was pushing on the cows [TS]

00:57:25 ◼   ► but like just cow wouldn't move so they [TS]

00:57:27 ◼   ► but they drove the road around him they [TS]

00:57:29 ◼   ► built the road around him and that was [TS]

00:57:30 ◼   ► where the curve came and I didn't see it [TS]

00:57:32 ◼   ► and I drove off they added like an [TS]

00:57:33 ◼   ► unnecessary semicircle unnecessary [TS]

00:57:35 ◼   ► semicircle because I'm hauling ass right [TS]

00:57:37 ◼   ► it's like 11:30 5:00 at night yeah I've [TS]

00:57:40 ◼   ► got the throttle wide open and way off [TS]

00:57:43 ◼   ► in the distance I see a car come up over [TS]

00:57:45 ◼   ► a hill coming directly toward me and [TS]

00:57:48 ◼   ► I've got my brights on and I'm a [TS]

00:57:51 ◼   ► courteous driver even then even at the [TS]

00:57:53 ◼   ► even at the ripe old age of 17 and so [TS]

00:57:57 ◼   ► and Here I am I've just got this [TS]

00:57:59 ◼   ► motorcycle who's wrapped out on highway [TS]

00:58:02 ◼   ► 40 outside of Oakland Kansas and I'm [TS]

00:58:05 ◼   ► thinking I'm making it you know I'm [TS]

00:58:07 ◼   ► making it to Kansas City tonight or [TS]

00:58:09 ◼   ► whatever I thought and here comes this [TS]

00:58:13 ◼   ► car over the hill and I go I'm a [TS]

00:58:14 ◼   ► courteous driver and I turn my brights [TS]

00:58:16 ◼   ► down Oh No and at this point now I just [TS]

00:58:19 ◼   ► have my regular headlight on and at the [TS]

00:58:22 ◼   ► speed that I'm going that is giving me [TS]

00:58:24 ◼   ► some advance notice in the three-second [TS]

00:58:27 ◼   ► range I see something come into my [TS]

00:58:30 ◼   ► headlights that is three seconds away [TS]

00:58:32 ◼   ► and your brain so there's a one part of [TS]

00:58:34 ◼   ► your brain the conscious it goes I'm a [TS]

00:58:36 ◼   ► courteous driver I turn down my lights [TS]

00:58:37 ◼   ► but there's some part of your brain and [TS]

00:58:39 ◼   ► I maybe I'm spoiling a story but there's [TS]

00:58:41 ◼   ► a party brain that also goes and I'm [TS]

00:58:43 ◼   ► assuming naturally that this will [TS]

00:58:45 ◼   ► continue to go exactly straight in the [TS]

00:58:47 ◼   ► way that I'm straightening right now [TS]

00:58:49 ◼   ► exactly because the car that's coming [TS]

00:58:51 ◼   ► toward me is coming in a straight line I [TS]

00:58:54 ◼   ► see [TS]

00:58:55 ◼   ► that pattern and I see myself and so [TS]

00:58:58 ◼   ► what could possibly be but in between us [TS]

00:59:00 ◼   ► is there going to be is there is the [TS]

00:59:03 ◼   ► bridge out no from let's assume no [TS]

00:59:06 ◼   ► sinkhole let's us let's assume no [TS]

00:59:08 ◼   ► sinkhole let's assume no like corn [TS]

00:59:11 ◼   ► monster and corn monster commemorative [TS]

00:59:14 ◼   ► cow [TS]

00:59:14 ◼   ► it would just be natural to assume this [TS]

00:59:16 ◼   ► has been going straight the whole time [TS]

00:59:17 ◼   ► why for heaven's sake why would it not [TS]

00:59:20 ◼   ► keep just going straight right and again [TS]

00:59:23 ◼   ► my courtesy is that I don't want to be [TS]

00:59:26 ◼   ► coming at this person for the next two [TS]

00:59:28 ◼   ► and a half miles shining my bright right [TS]

00:59:30 ◼   ► in there I just to turn it down like [TS]

00:59:32 ◼   ► when I when I imagine that the that the [TS]

00:59:35 ◼   ► distance is close enough that light [TS]

00:59:37 ◼   ► suddenly becomes oh now he can see my [TS]

00:59:40 ◼   ► plight now some things we know is we're [TS]

00:59:42 ◼   ► both driving and we know this thing is [TS]

00:59:43 ◼   ► impossibly straight that's the two [TS]

00:59:44 ◼   ► things all we need to know we are in [TS]

00:59:46 ◼   ► Kansas it is by definition straight [TS]

00:59:50 ◼   ► three three you know three seconds ahead [TS]

00:59:53 ◼   ► and the road goes all of a sudden out of [TS]

00:59:55 ◼   ► the gloom of the gloaming hmm I see the [TS]

00:59:59 ◼   ► little [TS]

00:59:59 ◼   ► little [TS]

01:00:00 ◼   ► reflectors on the side of the road just [TS]

01:00:02 ◼   ► indicate that the road just goes left [TS]

01:00:04 ◼   ► turn if there was a sign you didn't see [TS]

01:00:06 ◼   ► it there was no I well you didn't see a [TS]

01:00:10 ◼   ► large like cow semicircle next half-mile [TS]

01:00:13 ◼   ► no no there was no like roundabouts [TS]

01:00:16 ◼   ► ahead with a cow in the middle and this [TS]

01:00:21 ◼   ► road went zoom and I was like wow and I [TS]

01:00:24 ◼   ► was not let's be honest [TS]

01:00:27 ◼   ► the world's most seasoned motorcyclist [TS]

01:00:30 ◼   ► at this time you know there are a lot of [TS]

01:00:31 ◼   ► people being on a motorcycle I have [TS]

01:00:34 ◼   ► tried to drive motorcycle like things [TS]

01:00:36 ◼   ► and found it hard but my feeling is that [TS]

01:00:38 ◼   ► like so much in a young person's life [TS]

01:00:40 ◼   ► most of your time on a motorcycle is [TS]

01:00:42 ◼   ► spent not crashing and so you haven't [TS]

01:00:44 ◼   ► really driven a motorcycle until you've [TS]

01:00:46 ◼   ► crashed in a bunch because that's always [TS]

01:00:48 ◼   ► an option [TS]

01:00:49 ◼   ► yeah you have to crash to learn now not [TS]

01:00:52 ◼   ► to crash they say about you haven't had [TS]

01:00:54 ◼   ► your ass kicked yet it's it's not really [TS]

01:00:56 ◼   ► that you're successful it's just you're [TS]

01:00:58 ◼   ► you're really only successful after [TS]

01:01:00 ◼   ► you've lost yeah I agree [TS]

01:01:02 ◼   ► right you're skating alone it's like [TS]

01:01:04 ◼   ► it's like it's like young people you [TS]

01:01:08 ◼   ► know celebrating how they're healthy [TS]

01:01:10 ◼   ► well said of course you're healthy [TS]

01:01:11 ◼   ► you're young like you didn't earn that [TS]

01:01:13 ◼   ► right right yeah of course you're [TS]

01:01:17 ◼   ► healthy and free of course of course you [TS]

01:01:19 ◼   ► still have your life in front of you [TS]

01:01:21 ◼   ► different degree than if you spend a lot [TS]

01:01:26 ◼   ► of time on forums of course you could [TS]

01:01:28 ◼   ► have put forty dollars a month into [TS]

01:01:29 ◼   ► retirement [TS]

01:01:30 ◼   ► just fucking 40 dollars a month what a [TS]

01:01:32 ◼   ► difference it would have made you know [TS]

01:01:34 ◼   ► when your kid goes to college it's gonna [TS]

01:01:35 ◼   ► cost a million dollars a semester what [TS]

01:01:36 ◼   ► are you gonna do then Yeah right of [TS]

01:01:38 ◼   ► course you could have considered you [TS]

01:01:39 ◼   ► might have a kid someday yeah you better [TS]

01:01:41 ◼   ► have a matching matching funds to ride [TS]

01:01:44 ◼   ► your fucking motorcycle get out there [TS]

01:01:45 ◼   ► get on and get on the couch let me [TS]

01:01:46 ◼   ► Circle let me know how that goes do you [TS]

01:01:47 ◼   ► ever go to forums mmm-hmm yeah sure I [TS]

01:01:49 ◼   ► got a forum okay so one of the forums [TS]

01:01:51 ◼   ► that I go to is old men that drive [TS]

01:01:53 ◼   ► Porsche 911 and they love to bare all [TS]

01:02:05 ◼   ► boy they love to bitch but one of the [TS]

01:02:07 ◼   ► things that's true about old Porsche [TS]

01:02:10 ◼   ► 911s because there are rear [TS]

01:02:12 ◼   ► engined car and there's a you know [TS]

01:02:15 ◼   ► there's always love a rear-engine don't [TS]

01:02:17 ◼   ► they oh they did though well you know [TS]

01:02:18 ◼   ► they like to engineer things I don't [TS]

01:02:20 ◼   ► want to be too normative but the thing [TS]

01:02:23 ◼   ► about it German is they will engineer it [TS]

01:02:25 ◼   ► right they want to they want to build it [TS]

01:02:27 ◼   ► yeah they want to they want to draw it [TS]

01:02:29 ◼   ► and then build it according to the [TS]

01:02:31 ◼   ► drawing yeah anyway if you are in a in a [TS]

01:02:34 ◼   ► Porsche 911 and you are going fast [TS]

01:02:37 ◼   ► through the twisties let's call them [TS]

01:02:40 ◼   ► that let's say that just to please [TS]

01:02:41 ◼   ► people going through the twisty roads a [TS]

01:02:46 ◼   ► truism is that you do not lift off your [TS]

01:02:50 ◼   ► accelerator in a corner because if you [TS]

01:02:54 ◼   ► go into a corner with your foot on the [TS]

01:02:56 ◼   ► gas and then you're going too fast [TS]

01:02:59 ◼   ► and you get a little scared and you lift [TS]

01:03:02 ◼   ► your foot off the gas the back end is [TS]

01:03:06 ◼   ► gonna up your Porsche 911 is gonna cut [TS]

01:03:08 ◼   ► loose and it's gonna spin out and you're [TS]

01:03:12 ◼   ► gonna crash because because it's behind [TS]

01:03:15 ◼   ► you get the Brian the engine so if you [TS]

01:03:18 ◼   ► get scared in a corner in a Porsche 911 [TS]

01:03:21 ◼   ► the thing to do is give it more gas not [TS]

01:03:24 ◼   ► less turns fucking out I never would [TS]

01:03:27 ◼   ► have guessed that yes because if you [TS]

01:03:28 ◼   ► push it if you push the gas down the car [TS]

01:03:31 ◼   ► will sink down and and it's and the turn [TS]

01:03:34 ◼   ► radius will back up a truck with a [TS]

01:03:36 ◼   ► trailer you have to let go of everything [TS]

01:03:38 ◼   ► you think you understand about angles [TS]

01:03:40 ◼   ► that's right you got your hand on the [TS]

01:03:41 ◼   ► bottom of the wheel and and steer [TS]

01:03:44 ◼   ► backwards you have to go against every [TS]

01:03:46 ◼   ► instinct you know you don't talk about [TS]

01:03:47 ◼   ► right oh yes my favorite times I've [TS]

01:03:59 ◼   ► quivered in fear with Sean Nelson and so [TS]

01:04:03 ◼   ► many times when that was one of the best [TS]

01:04:04 ◼   ► one Danis lie straight ahead and work [TS]

01:04:06 ◼   ► that out with you ahead of time handy in [TS]

01:04:10 ◼   ► German yep and so you going around the [TS]

01:04:13 ◼   ► curve but so this is true of motorcycles [TS]

01:04:15 ◼   ► too if you go into a corner and use then [TS]

01:04:18 ◼   ► you realize that your geometry is wrong [TS]

01:04:20 ◼   ► and that you feel like oh shit I'm in [TS]

01:04:22 ◼   ► this corner I'm going too hot and if I [TS]

01:04:26 ◼   ► if I don't figure this out I'm gonna go [TS]

01:04:29 ◼   ► I'm gonna go off the road yep yep yep [TS]

01:04:32 ◼   ► the your instinct is to let off the gas [TS]

01:04:37 ◼   ► because right you're going too fast so [TS]

01:04:40 ◼   ► you let off the gas but if you're on a [TS]

01:04:41 ◼   ► motorcycle and you let off the gas [TS]

01:04:42 ◼   ► you're gonna straighten up and you're [TS]

01:04:44 ◼   ► gonna now you're really gonna go [TS]

01:04:46 ◼   ► straight off the road and what you what [TS]

01:04:49 ◼   ► you need to do is give it more gas and [TS]

01:04:51 ◼   ► you will it's this incredible feeling [TS]

01:04:54 ◼   ► that seems that seems so crazy that's [TS]

01:04:58 ◼   ► like me and anti-lock brakes as somebody [TS]

01:05:01 ◼   ► who used to own a rear-engine Volkswagen [TS]

01:05:04 ◼   ► bus I'll tell you what I knew is you [TS]

01:05:07 ◼   ► just you pump lightly pump pump pump up [TS]

01:05:10 ◼   ► not pump up up up up up [TS]

01:05:12 ◼   ► that pump up pump up pump up like you're [TS]

01:05:14 ◼   ► trying you like you feel like you're [TS]

01:05:16 ◼   ► trying to trying to awaken a fat man [TS]

01:05:17 ◼   ► just gentle little pushes and then you [TS]

01:05:20 ◼   ► get into where these and so that's been [TS]

01:05:21 ◼   ► made my bones on these terrible old cars [TS]

01:05:24 ◼   ► that you don't you would never slam the [TS]

01:05:25 ◼   ► brakes on because guess what everything [TS]

01:05:26 ◼   ► locks up and you're in the paper [TS]

01:05:28 ◼   ► tomorrow and now today you don't do that [TS]

01:05:30 ◼   ► you don't go you don't go tap a tap a [TS]

01:05:32 ◼   ► tap on brakes anymore right uh no I [TS]

01:05:36 ◼   ► don't think it's a new it's a whole new [TS]

01:05:38 ◼   ► world I mean it's not that new but it's [TS]

01:05:39 ◼   ► still new ish to me most of the driving [TS]

01:05:41 ◼   ► that I've done in my life was on none [TS]

01:05:43 ◼   ► non anti-lock brakes like I saw you [TS]

01:05:46 ◼   ► should call them lock brakes uh well I [TS]

01:05:49 ◼   ► mean you probably started off in a car [TS]

01:05:51 ◼   ► with drum brakes and then it had disc [TS]

01:05:53 ◼   ► brakes was the big it was the big [TS]

01:05:55 ◼   ► invention but now yeah you don't do that [TS]

01:05:57 ◼   ► because if you do you're just messing [TS]

01:06:00 ◼   ► with the anti-lock brake system yes [TS]

01:06:01 ◼   ► before it's pumped before you either [TS]

01:06:03 ◼   ► pump it's doing a popping right yeah and [TS]

01:06:07 ◼   ► if you get in if you get in there and [TS]

01:06:09 ◼   ► try and get involved in that process [TS]

01:06:10 ◼   ► you're just gumming up the works yeah [TS]

01:06:13 ◼   ► yeah the machine is trying to do it in [TS]

01:06:15 ◼   ► the new cars like it's doing it all four [TS]

01:06:17 ◼   ► wheels are doing it differently based on [TS]

01:06:19 ◼   ► the traction that they sense through [TS]

01:06:21 ◼   ► their feelers it's using science for [TS]

01:06:23 ◼   ► that John oh so much science you know [TS]

01:06:26 ◼   ► who else likes to engineer things [TS]

01:06:27 ◼   ► Japanese carmakers but so that but the [TS]

01:06:33 ◼   ► thing is about driving a Porsche and a [TS]

01:06:35 ◼   ► motorcycle is that if you do want to [TS]

01:06:37 ◼   ► slow down you do it before [TS]

01:06:39 ◼   ► turn before that so you let your gas off [TS]

01:06:42 ◼   ► while you're still going Street here [TS]

01:06:44 ◼   ► comes the corner [TS]

01:06:45 ◼   ► you let your gas off while you're still [TS]

01:06:47 ◼   ► going straight you don't put on you [TS]

01:06:49 ◼   ► don't necessarily have to put on the [TS]

01:06:50 ◼   ► brake just letting the gas off will [TS]

01:06:52 ◼   ► allow that sort of engine compression to [TS]

01:06:54 ◼   ► slow your vehicle down just enough and [TS]

01:06:58 ◼   ► then as you set up to go into the turn [TS]

01:07:01 ◼   ► you put on the gas not take it off this [TS]

01:07:04 ◼   ► is so the one piece of knowledge that [TS]

01:07:08 ◼   ► I've got about cars and as you know I [TS]

01:07:09 ◼   ► don't enjoy driving I don't like cars [TS]

01:07:11 ◼   ► but I think the one piece of knowledge [TS]

01:07:12 ◼   ► is that I have it's it's got a little [TS]

01:07:15 ◼   ► bit of Eastern philosophy to it I feel [TS]

01:07:16 ◼   ► like in my head the first step towards [TS]

01:07:19 ◼   ► stopping is to stop starting so if [TS]

01:07:23 ◼   ► before you hit the brakes like for [TS]

01:07:25 ◼   ► example let's say you're going on the [TS]

01:07:26 ◼   ► grapevine and you suddenly see the red [TS]

01:07:28 ◼   ► brick lights they're going to get to get [TS]

01:07:29 ◼   ► in getting closer closer closer like [TS]

01:07:31 ◼   ► before you have the brakes stopped [TS]

01:07:32 ◼   ► accelerating well that fucking grapevine [TS]

01:07:34 ◼   ► the grapevine well mike symon raw no my [TS]

01:07:39 ◼   ► number one rule on the highway is if I [TS]

01:07:41 ◼   ► see brake lights of any kind I put a [TS]

01:07:44 ◼   ► little Mario Brothers coin over that car [TS]

01:07:47 ◼   ► yeah and the coin says ding-dong right [TS]

01:07:52 ◼   ► at this point they are merely they are [TS]

01:07:54 ◼   ► identified merely as a ding dong that [TS]

01:07:55 ◼   ► like that coin could go up in value if [TS]

01:07:57 ◼   ► they turn into a dipshit right because [TS]

01:07:59 ◼   ► yeah you do not need to touch your [TS]

01:08:01 ◼   ► brakes DRI oh no the Germans have whole [TS]

01:08:04 ◼   ► studies about this John if you read the [TS]

01:08:05 ◼   ► studies about how traffic will be better [TS]

01:08:06 ◼   ► if we quit driving fast and hitting our [TS]

01:08:08 ◼   ► brakes I feel that in my dog oh shit dog [TS]

01:08:13 ◼   ► there is a body of fucking work about [TS]

01:08:16 ◼   ► this about the problems I've seen [TS]

01:08:17 ◼   ► visualizations of this the problem is [TS]

01:08:19 ◼   ► you don't you want to be going faster [TS]