Roderick on the Line

00:00:00 ◼   ► this episode of Rodrick on the line is [TS]

00:00:02 ◼   ► brought to you by Casper Casper's an [TS]

00:00:04 ◼   ► online retailer of premium mattresses [TS]

00:00:06 ◼   ► that you can get delivered to your door [TS]

00:00:08 ◼   ► for a fraction of the price you pay in [TS]

00:00:10 ◼   ► stores to learn more visit casper comm [TS]

00:00:12 ◼   ► slash supertrain [TS]

00:00:14 ◼   ► [Music] [TS]

00:00:19 ◼   ► hello hi John hi Merlin how's it going [TS]

00:00:24 ◼   ► oh it's really early is it early look at [TS]

00:00:29 ◼   ► that I guess it is it's pretty early [TS]

00:00:30 ◼   ► yeah I mean it's not as early as it [TS]

00:00:32 ◼   ► could be it's early yeah yeah I woke up [TS]

00:00:36 ◼   ► singing eight to seven five three oh [TS]

00:00:38 ◼   ► five nine that's a good song [TS]

00:00:41 ◼   ► yeah oh god I had to I usually have two [TS]

00:00:44 ◼   ► to three songs in my head when I wake up [TS]

00:00:46 ◼   ► that's gotta be cacophonous no no it's [TS]

00:00:49 ◼   ► terrible I just have like a little mini [TS]

00:00:52 ◼   ► stroke for a couple hours in the morning [TS]

00:00:53 ◼   ► and I just cycles through one or two [TS]

00:00:57 ◼   ► lines from a song and it'll be different [TS]

00:00:58 ◼   ► songs and it just goes on and on and on [TS]

00:01:00 ◼   ► oh yeah you listen to the long winters [TS]

00:01:02 ◼   ► albums well you know I like to hear the [TS]

00:01:04 ◼   ► first part here get that I get the feel [TS]

00:01:06 ◼   ► for what the song is gonna be like you [TS]

00:01:08 ◼   ► know soon as the lyrics start you can go [TS]

00:01:10 ◼   ► to the next song every time it does I [TS]

00:01:17 ◼   ► still get in a lot of trouble for that [TS]

00:01:18 ◼   ► song in the music press who feel like it [TS]

00:01:20 ◼   ► wasn't enough I said I didn't say enough [TS]

00:01:24 ◼   ► like I did you know yeah this lyrics [TS]

00:01:28 ◼   ► came in and they were like skip you get [TS]

00:01:30 ◼   ► it you get it in a closet with [TS]

00:01:31 ◼   ► headphones you don't even have a way to [TS]

00:01:35 ◼   ► control the music you just get you get [TS]

00:01:36 ◼   ► in the closet you could just use your [TS]

00:01:38 ◼   ► eyes in a dark closet you listen to [TS]

00:01:39 ◼   ► John's work the music closet let's go if [TS]

00:01:42 ◼   ► everyone in the house should have [TS]

00:01:43 ◼   ► everyone in listening this program [TS]

00:01:45 ◼   ► should have one music closet in their [TS]

00:01:46 ◼   ► house even before you get a monk oh yeah [TS]

00:01:48 ◼   ► get yourself a music I'm having a hell [TS]

00:01:51 ◼   ► of a hell of a day tell me you dummy [TS]

00:01:54 ◼   ► it's so early [TS]

00:01:55 ◼   ► oh boy well the latest is the roofers [TS]

00:01:59 ◼   ► are still here and today they're real [TS]

00:02:01 ◼   ► relaxed and very jovial conversations [TS]

00:02:05 ◼   ► and the occasional grinding noise that [TS]

00:02:07 ◼   ► you hear is the giant tar bucket I hope [TS]

00:02:10 ◼   ► that's not racist they've got a tar [TS]

00:02:12 ◼   ► bucket this world around and they're [TS]

00:02:13 ◼   ► just they're having all kinds of [TS]

00:02:14 ◼   ► conversations about stuff so yeah is it [TS]

00:02:17 ◼   ► hot and smelly I could like it's not [TS]

00:02:19 ◼   ► from my home it's it's nice but that's [TS]

00:02:25 ◼   ► really just the icing on the shit burger [TS]

00:02:28 ◼   ► I I woke up at about I think it was 1:00 [TS]

00:02:32 ◼   ► a.m. [TS]

00:02:32 ◼   ► oh that's early yeah well that's usually [TS]

00:02:35 ◼   ► a urinate between 3 & 5 and that's when [TS]

00:02:38 ◼   ► the trouble starts that's when I have [TS]

00:02:39 ◼   ► trouble getting back to sleep and that's [TS]

00:02:40 ◼   ► when you get the bonus sleep double [TS]

00:02:42 ◼   ► bonus sleep triple bonus sleep alarm for [TS]

00:02:45 ◼   ► the 3 to 5 he's got an alarm downstairs [TS]

00:02:48 ◼   ► daddy's down down you know you look down [TS]

00:02:50 ◼   ► from the mezzanine that's where the [TS]

00:02:51 ◼   ► alarm is you're looking down thinking [TS]

00:02:53 ◼   ► man it's like a fire alarm right like [TS]

00:02:55 ◼   ► you you slide down the brass pole yeah a [TS]

00:02:58 ◼   ► lot like that like an Ultraman like my [TS]

00:02:59 ◼   ► chest beep and I know it's time to make [TS]

00:03:01 ◼   ► it number one so I went to bed I watched [TS]

00:03:05 ◼   ► Ed Sheeran on TV last night and got mad [TS]

00:03:08 ◼   ► and oh my god it was so at the age of 50 [TS]

00:03:15 ◼   ► like I still get mad about an English [TS]

00:03:18 ◼   ► man Ron Weasley in the dryer for a [TS]

00:03:27 ◼   ► weekend your hair is stupid you are I [TS]

00:03:31 ◼   ► know this about you you are somebody [TS]

00:03:33 ◼   ► that's right there at the debut this is [TS]

00:03:38 ◼   ► one of my day in date shows right yeah [TS]

00:03:40 ◼   ► I've did something I am rarely done [TS]

00:03:43 ◼   ► which I forced my wife to get into this [TS]

00:03:45 ◼   ► show it was very tough I mean it's [TS]

00:03:47 ◼   ► awesome by Castro it's a really fucked [TS]

00:03:49 ◼   ► up it's so fucked up but I think I kind [TS]

00:03:52 ◼   ► of got her a little bit into it we [TS]

00:03:53 ◼   ► watched it and we were both so angry [TS]

00:03:56 ◼   ► until bedtime about this we got it this [TS]

00:03:58 ◼   ► morning it's the first thing we talked [TS]

00:03:59 ◼   ► about it's how we're still angry about [TS]

00:04:00 ◼   ► it Sharon I know this is not gonna [TS]

00:04:01 ◼   ► matter tears in rain oh yes I watch my [TS]

00:04:04 ◼   ► program I'm gonna try really hard to get [TS]

00:04:06 ◼   ► to bed by 11:00 and I'm pretty [TS]

00:04:09 ◼   ► successful with it 1 o'clock I wake with [TS]

00:04:14 ◼   ► a raging migraine oh that's not what I [TS]

00:04:18 ◼   ► thought you were gonna say it sounds a [TS]

00:04:20 ◼   ► boner [TS]

00:04:21 ◼   ► that's what wakes me up at night of 1:00 [TS]

00:04:24 ◼   ► in the morning it's Christmas in July [TS]

00:04:25 ◼   ► but go ahead a raging migraine at first [TS]

00:04:30 ◼   ► I thought it was my usual I slept hard [TS]

00:04:32 ◼   ► in a weird way right that could have [TS]

00:04:35 ◼   ► been a Sharon normally that's where I [TS]

00:04:44 ◼   ► get a back problem I get a back [TS]

00:04:46 ◼   ► because I'll do a slight twist sure [TS]

00:04:47 ◼   ► pinched nerve yes could be pinched could [TS]

00:04:50 ◼   ► be pinched it could just be aggravated [TS]

00:04:52 ◼   ► but no it was like in my hippocampus [TS]

00:04:56 ◼   ► like I could feel the radiating oh no of [TS]

00:05:00 ◼   ► like this is probably my seventh [TS]

00:05:02 ◼   ► migraine ever in your life but I was up [TS]

00:05:05 ◼   ► and I was hurting oh and it's sort of [TS]

00:05:08 ◼   ► like a bad trip you've had bad trips I [TS]

00:05:11 ◼   ► could get enough bad trips yeah and you [TS]

00:05:15 ◼   ► eventually learn to go oh this is gonna [TS]

00:05:17 ◼   ► suck but I'll I'll make it through this [TS]

00:05:19 ◼   ► this is gonna die luckily I don't do the [TS]

00:05:22 ◼   ► sort of thing anymore but right now [TS]

00:05:23 ◼   ► having done that it's moving in him an [TS]

00:05:26 ◼   ► orange slice shut up I'm in hell like in [TS]

00:05:28 ◼   ► this case I got visions of Ron Weasley [TS]

00:05:31 ◼   ► dancing in my head and so I get up and I [TS]

00:05:32 ◼   ► go okay all right I've got to get up out [TS]

00:05:34 ◼   ► of my Casper bed which is very very [TS]

00:05:36 ◼   ► comfortable [TS]

00:05:36 ◼   ► and I go I go to the bathroom and I take [TS]

00:05:42 ◼   ► a hot shower I put it on the [TS]

00:05:43 ◼   ► thump-thump-thump setting and I'm good [TS]

00:05:45 ◼   ► gripping the accessibility rail grip [TS]

00:05:48 ◼   ► does that help the thump-thump-thump he [TS]

00:05:50 ◼   ► hits you right in the pineal gland you [TS]

00:05:52 ◼   ► know you get that little spot right in [TS]

00:05:54 ◼   ► the best [TS]

00:05:55 ◼   ► that's nice any of you then you gleek [TS]

00:05:57 ◼   ► right yes like so like daughter my [TS]

00:06:02 ◼   ► coffee coffee well you know he left [TS]

00:06:06 ◼   ► Genesis early oh right yeah they hired [TS]

00:06:09 ◼   ► that they hired that other guy [TS]

00:06:10 ◼   ► the guy was here and they heard the guy [TS]

00:06:11 ◼   ► to play drums see when Peter Gabriel [TS]

00:06:27 ◼   ► 1989 1989 the year in music yeah [TS]

00:06:33 ◼   ► literally gripping the accessability [TS]

00:06:35 ◼   ► rail groaning and trying not to wake my [TS]

00:06:37 ◼   ► family with my migraine in my [TS]

00:06:38 ◼   ► hippocampus and so I'm just fucking aah [TS]

00:06:43 ◼   ► and because that can help and you say to [TS]

00:06:46 ◼   ► yourself you know it's like the orange [TS]

00:06:47 ◼   ► slices I'm just gonna I'm gonna get [TS]

00:06:49 ◼   ► through this and I need to be a little [TS]

00:06:51 ◼   ► bit suta Buddhist look a little bit [TS]

00:06:53 ◼   ► suitable estai need to say here ok how [TS]

00:06:56 ◼   ► much of this is a bad thing that's [TS]

00:06:57 ◼   ► happening to me right [TS]

00:06:59 ◼   ► and how much of this is my 10 times more [TS]

00:07:02 ◼   ► terrible feeling about how I feel about [TS]

00:07:04 ◼   ► what's happening to me and I suspect we [TS]

00:07:07 ◼   ► may have some common ground there I [TS]

00:07:08 ◼   ► think that's a useful thought technology [TS]

00:07:10 ◼   ► yesterday's but you know what it was it [TS]

00:07:12 ◼   ► was the fire in my hippocampus that was [TS]

00:07:14 ◼   ► actually the problem it was the former [TS]

00:07:17 ◼   ► of the two answers John how you felt [TS]

00:07:22 ◼   ► about it was irrelevant I'm gripping [TS]

00:07:25 ◼   ► literally gripping the accessability [TS]

00:07:27 ◼   ► rail [TS]

00:07:27 ◼   ► thump-thump thump-thump practically ran [TS]

00:07:29 ◼   ► the joint out of hot water I got out I [TS]

00:07:31 ◼   ► tell off I have a half half a Seltzer [TS]

00:07:33 ◼   ► and I think okay this is it daddy can go [TS]

00:07:35 ◼   ► back to bed anyways it was not was great [TS]

00:07:39 ◼   ► but here's the thing with the funny part [TS]

00:07:41 ◼   ► guys it turns out there's a funny part [TS]

00:07:43 ◼   ► well uh you get to say six I've managed [TS]

00:07:49 ◼   ► to get some sleep I've got pseudo bonus [TS]

00:07:51 ◼   ► sleep at this point with my suit of [TS]

00:07:52 ◼   ► Buddhism I got a little bit of sleep and [TS]

00:07:54 ◼   ► the thing is I I'm waking up and going [TS]

00:07:56 ◼   ► though I wonder if my hippocampus is [TS]

00:07:58 ◼   ► still on fire and you know what it only [TS]

00:08:01 ◼   ► hurt a little bit and I was so fucking [TS]

00:08:03 ◼   ► happy [TS]

00:08:03 ◼   ► I was so gooood I've had like four hours [TS]

00:08:06 ◼   ► of sleep but I'm so glad that I'm not [TS]

00:08:10 ◼   ► having that head thing anymore oh that's [TS]

00:08:11 ◼   ► so funny way isn't that a funny way life [TS]

00:08:13 ◼   ► can get you yeah isn't that ain't it [TS]

00:08:16 ◼   ► though hmm have you so how long do they [TS]

00:08:20 ◼   ► normally last of the seven you've had [TS]

00:08:24 ◼   ► you like like a stress bump the first [TS]

00:08:28 ◼   ► thing is you go oh right you know as you [TS]

00:08:32 ◼   ► know several hours to even a day and a [TS]

00:08:35 ◼   ► half before you get a stress bump you [TS]

00:08:37 ◼   ► get the oh yeah that's right oh now I've [TS]

00:08:41 ◼   ► thought that thought now I'm gonna get [TS]

00:08:42 ◼   ► stress bump yeah I'm thinking about a [TS]

00:08:45 ◼   ► tingle and so that's what happens is you [TS]

00:08:48 ◼   ► go uh-oh and there might be you see some [TS]

00:08:50 ◼   ► Christmas lights a little bit it could [TS]

00:08:52 ◼   ► be that you feel the dark veil of death [TS]

00:08:53 ◼   ► approaching you know that something is [TS]

00:08:55 ◼   ► not going optimally and you go okay I [TS]

00:08:58 ◼   ► just got to get ready for this I need to [TS]

00:08:59 ◼   ► call everybody important and say here [TS]

00:09:00 ◼   ► comes the migraine oh geez and then it [TS]

00:09:04 ◼   ► starts to set in and then it takes over [TS]

00:09:05 ◼   ► and then it becomes the the it's a kind [TS]

00:09:10 ◼   ► of have you ever heard of migraine [TS]

00:09:12 ◼   ► I know okay but you know that kind of [TS]

00:09:14 ◼   ► like that real centering kind of pain [TS]

00:09:16 ◼   ► where it's like there's nothing else in [TS]

00:09:18 ◼   ► the world apart from what is being [TS]

00:09:19 ◼   ► visited upon me right now all right and [TS]

00:09:22 ◼   ► they last I mean you know you can take [TS]

00:09:24 ◼   ► some excedrin for it but you know [TS]

00:09:27 ◼   ► caffeine helps but she rarely less than [TS]

00:09:31 ◼   ► three hours rarely more than eight hours [TS]

00:09:33 ◼   ► you just go you go lay in a room and [TS]

00:09:36 ◼   ► like watch mr. Rodgers on mute you know [TS]

00:09:38 ◼   ► just food well you know our good friend [TS]

00:09:40 ◼   ► Jesse thorn suffers from these suffer [TS]

00:09:43 ◼   ► yeah habitually I know he's sought many [TS]

00:09:46 ◼   ► different avenues for dealing with this [TS]

00:09:48 ◼   ► but he's it's just he's got he's real I [TS]

00:09:50 ◼   ► was a fucked up but I mean he's he get [TS]

00:09:53 ◼   ► some bad and often right he gets them if [TS]

00:09:56 ◼   ► he gets them bad but I think the [TS]

00:09:57 ◼   ► debilitating thing is that he gets them [TS]

00:09:59 ◼   ► off and so often that it's just like you [TS]

00:10:02 ◼   ► can set your watch by them I can't [TS]

00:10:06 ◼   ► imagine any programs that's mind blowing [TS]

00:10:08 ◼   ► I don't know it mind blowing am i right [TS]

00:10:11 ◼   ► my mom gets them I have I guess in my [TS]

00:10:16 ◼   ► life probably had a headache that that [TS]

00:10:18 ◼   ► was bad enough that the lights wiggled [TS]

00:10:21 ◼   ► and it throbbed somewhere in my [TS]

00:10:23 ◼   ► hippocampus like a non hangover [TS]

00:10:25 ◼   ► headaches right well yeah right like for [TS]

00:10:28 ◼   ► some reason but headaches are not a [TS]

00:10:30 ◼   ► thing I suffer from typically I don't [TS]

00:10:32 ◼   ► remember the last time I had a serious [TS]

00:10:34 ◼   ► headache but a couple of years ago I I [TS]

00:10:37 ◼   ► had a I had a pain suddenly in the side [TS]

00:10:41 ◼   ► of my head like you know the you know [TS]

00:10:44 ◼   ► the old pain like an ice pick [TS]

00:10:47 ◼   ► oh yes you know the ice pick pain that's [TS]

00:10:50 ◼   ► a long time you term that still works [TS]

00:10:52 ◼   ► right nobody even knows what an ice pick [TS]

00:10:55 ◼   ► is or does anymore in our in our modern [TS]

00:10:58 ◼   ► world you can't go into a hot topic and [TS]

00:10:59 ◼   ► get an ice pick no well what would you [TS]

00:11:01 ◼   ► do with it you can either buy 50 ice [TS]

00:11:03 ◼   ► picks for the price of one avocado sure [TS]

00:11:05 ◼   ► right I mean then I think that's the [TS]

00:11:07 ◼   ► going exchange-rate [TS]

00:11:08 ◼   ► want to sing a paris' dollar equals 50 [TS]

00:11:13 ◼   ► ice picks making an app you get a cyber [TS]

00:11:16 ◼   ► ice pick patter that means about 73 [TS]

00:11:19 ◼   ► cents us to 73 cents they caught [TS]

00:11:21 ◼   ► skeuomorphism so which side of your head [TS]

00:11:23 ◼   ► you're [TS]

00:11:24 ◼   ► as your LaSalle so the as I'm looking [TS]

00:11:27 ◼   ► out of the control room as so the right [TS]

00:11:29 ◼   ► for stage right I got this but it [TS]

00:11:34 ◼   ► immediately becomes all in costing right [TS]

00:11:36 ◼   ► and it's coming from inside the house [TS]

00:11:39 ◼   ► it's somewhere is in the middle like a [TS]

00:11:41 ◼   ► peck trying to get out it's like a pic [TS]

00:11:43 ◼   ► it's like a pic trying to get out and [TS]

00:11:45 ◼   ► you know I know what a nice pic is I [TS]

00:11:47 ◼   ► know what they do I really go to stores [TS]

00:11:50 ◼   ► where I'm like should I get another ice [TS]

00:11:52 ◼   ► pick and I say no leave it leave it but [TS]

00:11:55 ◼   ► this ice pick is inside the house and I [TS]

00:11:58 ◼   ► am at a certain point I'm rolling on the [TS]

00:12:02 ◼   ► floor sweating and banging my head on [TS]

00:12:06 ◼   ► the wall it's 11 o'clock at night so [TS]

00:12:11 ◼   ► what does one do there's no one to call [TS]

00:12:14 ◼   ► who your call I suckers yeah so I lay [TS]

00:12:31 ◼   ► there it's happening in my it's [TS]

00:12:34 ◼   ► happening from my from not in my brain [TS]

00:12:38 ◼   ► no my brain is clear does it more Scully [TS]

00:12:41 ◼   ► yeah everything that my every my brain [TS]

00:12:44 ◼   ► can is there for me in order to really [TS]

00:12:47 ◼   ► truly feel and appreciate the pain and [TS]

00:12:50 ◼   ► it's not like a burning it's not a [TS]

00:12:52 ◼   ► searing it is a pick it is a pick on an [TS]

00:12:57 ◼   ► exposed nerve and I locate it in my [TS]

00:13:02 ◼   ► dentistry it is a pick somewhere on a [TS]

00:13:09 ◼   ► like as though you took a dental drill [TS]

00:13:13 ◼   ► and just no anesthetic just straight [TS]

00:13:15 ◼   ► down it just molar and I'm I you know [TS]

00:13:19 ◼   ► how often can you really say you're [TS]

00:13:21 ◼   ► rising those last time you rived maybe [TS]

00:13:25 ◼   ► oh no I took your point they're not [TS]

00:13:28 ◼   ► often most most as you get older like [TS]

00:13:31 ◼   ► you take something like the classic for [TS]

00:13:32 ◼   ► me as an earache where that I will never [TS]

00:13:35 ◼   ► have an earache I hope as bad as the [TS]

00:13:37 ◼   ► I had as a kid right there's certain [TS]

00:13:39 ◼   ► kinds of pains that are canonized when [TS]

00:13:41 ◼   ► you're a child and even when you get [TS]

00:13:43 ◼   ► them later in life you go it's still not [TS]

00:13:44 ◼   ► as bad as when I was a kid I never got [TS]

00:13:46 ◼   ► as sick as I got when I was a kid and [TS]

00:13:48 ◼   ► you learned to go like again you [TS]

00:13:49 ◼   ► double-double Buddha up and you go you [TS]

00:13:51 ◼   ► know what I'll get through this I can do [TS]

00:13:53 ◼   ► other things like I could tag my mp3s or [TS]

00:13:55 ◼   ► something [TS]

00:13:55 ◼   ► but no I think riding is rare and I had [TS]

00:13:58 ◼   ► I had one of those where I got off an [TS]

00:14:00 ◼   ► airplane and some nitrogen bubble inside [TS]

00:14:02 ◼   ► my sinuses which were clogged because of [TS]

00:14:05 ◼   ► a cold got up in there behind my eyeball [TS]

00:14:09 ◼   ► I'll just pipe some wires in there it's [TS]

00:14:11 ◼   ► just it's not transport for things [TS]

00:14:13 ◼   ► it's the tubes right it's the tubes that [TS]

00:14:15 ◼   ► make up the Internet and I was but again [TS]

00:14:18 ◼   ► banging my head on a door saying like I [TS]

00:14:20 ◼   ► don't care anymore make it you know like [TS]

00:14:22 ◼   ► make it stop give me a chopstick I'm [TS]

00:14:24 ◼   ► gonna shove it up into my into my [TS]

00:14:27 ◼   ► temporal lobe and then my girlfriend at [TS]

00:14:30 ◼   ► the time called her mom who was a hippie [TS]

00:14:32 ◼   ► and the mom said take some ginger ground [TS]

00:14:37 ◼   ► it up take a pot of hot water like boil [TS]

00:14:41 ◼   ► a pot of water it's like having a baby [TS]

00:14:43 ◼   ► boil a pot of water nobody knows why get [TS]

00:14:45 ◼   ► some get some rags and then boil up or [TS]

00:14:49 ◼   ► and then get a pot of cold water or boil [TS]

00:14:50 ◼   ► a pot of cold water get a cold boiling [TS]

00:14:54 ◼   ► remember those guys back in like 20 [TS]

00:14:56 ◼   ► years ago that they came up with the [TS]

00:14:58 ◼   ► with cold cold boiling yeah it was gonna [TS]

00:15:00 ◼   ► run everything you run your automobile [TS]

00:15:02 ◼   ► your coffee maker all off cold boiling [TS]

00:15:03 ◼   ► yeah and then nobody could figure out [TS]

00:15:05 ◼   ► how to cold boil again and hard to [TS]

00:15:06 ◼   ► replicate so so she got a hot pot of hot [TS]

00:15:09 ◼   ► pot of cold she put the ginger in the [TS]

00:15:12 ◼   ► hot pot and then dip the rags in the hot [TS]

00:15:14 ◼   ► ginger water 99 the year and music over [TS]

00:15:35 ◼   ► here you got the ginger right the best [TS]

00:15:41 ◼   ► ever [TS]

00:15:44 ◼   ► so I put the I put the and she's like [TS]

00:15:48 ◼   ► hippie mom is like alternate between the [TS]

00:15:50 ◼   ► hot and the cold so you put the hot [TS]

00:15:51 ◼   ► thing on there you barely stand it so [TS]

00:15:54 ◼   ► hot across your eyeballs and across your [TS]

00:15:55 ◼   ► nose my need to be cold hot and cold [TS]

00:15:57 ◼   ► yeah you flap the top of it hot on there [TS]

00:16:00 ◼   ► until until it cools down you keep [TS]

00:16:03 ◼   ► keeping the hot side hot in the cool [TS]

00:16:05 ◼   ► side fresh yeah put the hot on there [TS]

00:16:08 ◼   ► then you pull it off you put the cold on [TS]

00:16:10 ◼   ► there yeah and it's you know it's icy [TS]

00:16:11 ◼   ► cold hmm then you whip that off you put [TS]

00:16:14 ◼   ► the hop back on and lo and behold I [TS]

00:16:17 ◼   ► don't know how I don't know what the [TS]

00:16:18 ◼   ► fucking ginger did about it but the hot [TS]

00:16:20 ◼   ► and nothing but it changed the way that [TS]

00:16:23 ◼   ► part of your body felt it's like when [TS]

00:16:26 ◼   ► people put on the hot and cold creams [TS]

00:16:28 ◼   ► right you put on your thumb back sure [TS]

00:16:31 ◼   ► where you taking it when you're when [TS]

00:16:33 ◼   ► you're taking LSD with your friends all [TS]

00:16:35 ◼   ► day you take a little bit of Bag Balm [TS]

00:16:37 ◼   ► and you rub it on your nose or you did [TS]

00:16:39 ◼   ► something you know everything that hobby [TS]

00:16:41 ◼   ► and and and so it relieved it whatever [TS]

00:16:44 ◼   ► it did like that the nitrogen bubble [TS]

00:16:47 ◼   ► went bloop and it was the thing where [TS]

00:16:49 ◼   ► the pain just subsided this awful pain [TS]

00:16:52 ◼   ► just subsided and it's that I still [TS]

00:16:55 ◼   ► remember that I still remember that hour [TS]

00:16:56 ◼   ► I never loved my girlfriend so much I [TS]

00:16:58 ◼   ► never met her crazy hippie mom but that [TS]

00:17:00 ◼   ► but she stands she's in the pantheon for [TS]

00:17:04 ◼   ► me of people that know what they're [TS]

00:17:05 ◼   ► talking about [TS]

00:17:05 ◼   ► she's so cute I'm gonna try this next [TS]

00:17:10 ◼   ► next time I have some kind of [TS]

00:17:11 ◼   ► excruciating pain I'm gonna try that hot [TS]

00:17:14 ◼   ► and cold on the hot side is so hot that [TS]

00:17:17 ◼   ► you're like yeah and then it cools down [TS]

00:17:19 ◼   ► it gradually cools down on your head and [TS]

00:17:21 ◼   ► when it gets to like temperate Whip It [TS]

00:17:24 ◼   ► Off icy cold and you know Kapow right it [TS]

00:17:30 ◼   ► did so anyway this other time this time [TS]

00:17:32 ◼   ► I'm referring to that was more recent [TS]

00:17:34 ◼   ► the hot side hot cold side cold did not [TS]

00:17:37 ◼   ► work because the pain was coming from [TS]

00:17:39 ◼   ► inside the house it was on the nerve and [TS]

00:17:42 ◼   ► I have never ever ever been at a [TS]

00:17:45 ◼   ► dentist's office when they arrived in [TS]

00:17:49 ◼   ► the morning Wow [TS]

00:17:51 ◼   ► I was parked out in front at 7 o'clock [TS]

00:17:54 ◼   ► in the morning when the dentists [TS]

00:17:57 ◼   ► when the dental assistants started to [TS]

00:17:58 ◼   ► arrive you know like birds chirping Keys [TS]

00:18:01 ◼   ► jingling on cane on chains and I'm like [TS]

00:18:03 ◼   ► good morning it is so good to see you [TS]

00:18:08 ◼   ► guys [TS]

00:18:09 ◼   ► it has been too long and I love you guys [TS]

00:18:12 ◼   ► and you know my dentist was like [TS]

00:18:13 ◼   ► generally if someone is waiting for us [TS]

00:18:15 ◼   ► to open the door I get him in the chair [TS]

00:18:17 ◼   ► pretty quick yeah that's not a pink [TS]

00:18:19 ◼   ► right that's not a thing particularly [TS]

00:18:20 ◼   ► somebody like you that wakes up in 1 in [TS]

00:18:22 ◼   ► the afternoon and so she gets in there [TS]

00:18:25 ◼   ► and she's like 2 and her doing her [TS]

00:18:26 ◼   ► monkeying around and she's like oh you [TS]

00:18:28 ◼   ► have an abscess hmm I said what's an [TS]

00:18:32 ◼   ► abscess what's an abscess what I want [TS]

00:18:35 ◼   ► how I want and she said well somewhere [TS]

00:18:39 ◼   ► down there you get some infection on the [TS]

00:18:41 ◼   ► root yeah that's not a bad place to have [TS]

00:18:46 ◼   ► an infection right it's one thing to [TS]

00:18:48 ◼   ► have it up in the high leaves and the [TS]

00:18:49 ◼   ► baby leaves but down here oh sure get it [TS]

00:18:52 ◼   ► up there we can get some antibiotics on [TS]

00:18:54 ◼   ► it but this is and so she says it's on a [TS]

00:18:58 ◼   ► what is it oh it was on a wisdom tooth [TS]

00:19:00 ◼   ► and I had all four of my wisdom teeth at [TS]

00:19:03 ◼   ► the time mm-hmm and she said you know we [TS]

00:19:07 ◼   ► could do a lot of things put a course of [TS]

00:19:10 ◼   ► antibiotics on it I could do this I [TS]

00:19:12 ◼   ► could do that I can hit it with the get [TS]

00:19:14 ◼   ► hit with a microwave I could I could hit [TS]

00:19:16 ◼   ► it with a banjo you know it's a it's a [TS]

00:19:23 ◼   ► listen the banjo will make you so [TS]

00:19:25 ◼   ► furious it'll distract the banjo players [TS]

00:19:29 ◼   ► stop she said be fine if nobody ever [TS]

00:19:34 ◼   ► picked him up it's a wit that's right [TS]

00:19:36 ◼   ► they don't kill people and she said it's [TS]

00:19:38 ◼   ► a wisdom tooth you know and here's the [TS]

00:19:42 ◼   ► thing she said I love pullin teeth [TS]

00:19:44 ◼   ► mm-hmm can I just pull that tooth and I [TS]

00:19:47 ◼   ► was like pull it get it out and you know [TS]

00:19:50 ◼   ► I'm I got a big I got a big jaw got a [TS]

00:19:53 ◼   ► beard shaped face and I have my wisdom [TS]

00:19:55 ◼   ► teeth were are big were big and were [TS]

00:19:58 ◼   ► deeply rooted people don't know about [TS]

00:20:00 ◼   ► you you're built to scale you're looking [TS]

00:20:02 ◼   ► at 1.1 sized person yeah everything is [TS]

00:20:06 ◼   ► built to scale did you ever see that [TS]

00:20:09 ◼   ► remember that motorcycle show [TS]

00:20:11 ◼   ► the the cheatin swine Jesse James hmm I [TS]

00:20:15 ◼   ► used to make custom Jesse James who was [TS]

00:20:17 ◼   ► married to America's Sweetheart hmm [TS]

00:20:19 ◼   ► you remember America's raw words this is [TS]

00:20:22 ◼   ► a cable show about about repping your [TS]

00:20:25 ◼   ► hog yeah that's right so you remember [TS]

00:20:27 ◼   ► America's Sweetheart was the gal that [TS]

00:20:29 ◼   ► was in the movie speed oh sure she's not [TS]

00:20:32 ◼   ► she's like the discount Julia Roberts [TS]

00:20:33 ◼   ► talking about see Bullock Sandra Bullock [TS]

00:20:36 ◼   ► Bullock [TS]

00:20:37 ◼   ► do you remember when a motorcycle rep [TS]

00:20:39 ◼   ► your hog show well now listen do you [TS]

00:20:40 ◼   ► remember when speed came out was what a [TS]

00:20:43 ◼   ► joy Sandra Bullock was oh well you were [TS]

00:20:46 ◼   ► like who is this fascinating young man [TS]

00:20:48 ◼   ► she's America's real sweetheart I did [TS]

00:20:50 ◼   ► not even know about this person until I [TS]

00:20:52 ◼   ► saw this fairly dumb movie that year of [TS]

00:20:55 ◼   ► Edward Norton Norton hiding and suddenly [TS]

00:20:58 ◼   ► he's in a musical with Woody Allen and [TS]

00:21:00 ◼   ► you're in the the the Richard Gere Jail [TS]

00:21:04 ◼   ► movie see me also he played the lawyer [TS]

00:21:06 ◼   ► in Larry Flynt where's the lawyer yes [TS]

00:21:10 ◼   ► and he was so good at Fight Club movie [TS]

00:21:14 ◼   ► how do I get more Edward Norton is what [TS]

00:21:16 ◼   ► I was thinking [TS]

00:21:17 ◼   ► he'd been unwrap him yeah and Sandra [TS]

00:21:19 ◼   ► Bullock in that movie it was a classic [TS]

00:21:21 ◼   ► example of like come on honey why do we [TS]

00:21:24 ◼   ► not wise why is this not a thing that I [TS]

00:21:26 ◼   ► mean this is America's greatest export [TS]

00:21:28 ◼   ► right here Sandra Bullock and this is a [TS]

00:21:31 ◼   ► movie that is being spoiled by Dennis [TS]

00:21:32 ◼   ► Hopper and Keanu Reeves [TS]

00:21:34 ◼   ► Saima I mean that's like the fucking how [TS]

00:21:37 ◼   ► does a movie survive and it's because [TS]

00:21:41 ◼   ► like Dennis Hopper is definitely gonna [TS]

00:21:44 ◼   ► ruin this movie wait a minute no one [TS]

00:21:46 ◼   ► expects Keanu Reeves [TS]

00:21:48 ◼   ► fraction so Sandra Bullock at a certain [TS]

00:21:53 ◼   ► point right at the peak of being [TS]

00:21:55 ◼   ► America's Sweetheart it was the early [TS]

00:21:58 ◼   ► race [TS]

00:21:59 ◼   ► Abby I think Jesse James who was a guy [TS]

00:22:03 ◼   ► with a Macklemore haircut and a neck [TS]

00:22:05 ◼   ► tattoo oh I know his name is married to [TS]

00:22:09 ◼   ► somebody Sandra Bullock he was married [TS]

00:22:12 ◼   ► was he mean to her yes I do remember [TS]

00:22:16 ◼   ► this mr. coward Jesse James I remember [TS]

00:22:18 ◼   ► this so this guy is a total choad [TS]

00:22:21 ◼   ► but he's some I think I remember at some [TS]

00:22:23 ◼   ► point he got tattooed on his palm mm-hmm [TS]

00:22:28 ◼   ► pay up sucker on his comp he's this kind [TS]

00:22:31 ◼   ► of guy I bet you he has Confederate [TS]

00:22:34 ◼   ► flags everything I was stupid on your [TS]

00:22:37 ◼   ► forehead it's like it's really it's kind [TS]

00:22:39 ◼   ► of funny once but do you really need to [TS]

00:22:40 ◼   ► see that for another 60 years pay up [TS]

00:22:42 ◼   ► sucker [TS]

00:22:45 ◼   ► he's a chode this guy but he was bomb he [TS]

00:22:48 ◼   ► was the first he was the first before [TS]

00:22:50 ◼   ► all these are chode yeah before they all [TS]

00:22:53 ◼   ► the grease monkeys that are out there [TS]

00:22:55 ◼   ► like we go out and steal cars with [TS]

00:22:56 ◼   ► people and turn them into shitty cars [TS]

00:23:02 ◼   ► there's so many of those shows now [TS]

00:23:05 ◼   ► because people love the idea you partly [TS]

00:23:08 ◼   ► responsible for Guy Fieri [TS]

00:23:10 ◼   ► Jesse James the coward Jesse James it [TS]

00:23:13 ◼   ► sounds like he's partly cuz really if [TS]

00:23:14 ◼   ► you think about it Guy Fieri is [TS]

00:23:16 ◼   ► somewhere in between like Jimmy Buffett [TS]

00:23:19 ◼   ► and the counter Jesse James well yeah [TS]

00:23:21 ◼   ► right he's a little bit motorcycle he's [TS]

00:23:23 ◼   ► a little bit [TS]

00:23:24 ◼   ► Robert Burdine take it back you know [TS]

00:23:33 ◼   ► he's also got a lot of tattoos Robert [TS]

00:23:34 ◼   ► he's got season fries no you know what [TS]

00:23:36 ◼   ► he was Emeril is a direct [TS]

00:23:44 ◼   ► great-grandfather of donkey sauce [TS]

00:23:46 ◼   ► whatever that was been extended by pimp [TS]

00:23:55 ◼   ► your ride okay where that's you where [TS]

00:23:58 ◼   ► you watch your show and it's like these [TS]

00:24:01 ◼   ► guys can take a shit car and turn it [TS]

00:24:04 ◼   ► into a cool car in in a 45 minute [TS]

00:24:07 ◼   ► episode yeah that gives me hope that my [TS]

00:24:10 ◼   ► shit cars it's out parked in front of my [TS]

00:24:12 ◼   ► you know Park from Park in front of my [TS]

00:24:14 ◼   ► trailer is it can be made into a hot car [TS]

00:24:17 ◼   ► TV show about the lottery exactly [TS]

00:24:21 ◼   ► stories what they don't show is like 40 [TS]

00:24:24 ◼   ► people working on this car for two and a [TS]

00:24:25 ◼   ► half minutes you know everything with [TS]

00:24:27 ◼   ► Gordon Ramsay we're in the last act they [TS]

00:24:29 ◼   ► they have every time they redo a hotel [TS]

00:24:31 ◼   ► or a restaurant they make it they [TS]

00:24:33 ◼   ► obviously overtly make it look like you [TS]

00:24:35 ◼   ► is literally done overnight after the [TS]

00:24:37 ◼   ► place closed and before it opened they [TS]

00:24:39 ◼   ► changed the entire hotel right get in [TS]

00:24:41 ◼   ► there but people are running around with [TS]

00:24:43 ◼   ► chairs on their heads it's like come on [TS]

00:24:45 ◼   ► and yeah it was actually like a [TS]

00:24:46 ◼   ► nine-month redo so Jessie James was the [TS]

00:24:50 ◼   ► first guy that was out there and this is [TS]

00:24:53 ◼   ► before even Orange County Choppers which [TS]

00:24:56 ◼   ► were some it was called Orange County [TS]

00:24:59 ◼   ► Choppers is called Orange County [TS]

00:25:00 ◼   ► Choppers which implies that it's in LA [TS]

00:25:02 ◼   ► but it's actually Orange County New [TS]

00:25:04 ◼   ► Jersey or Orange County some like [TS]

00:25:06 ◼   ► upstate Connecticut like hillbilly East [TS]

00:25:10 ◼   ► Coast people making big hot rod [TS]

00:25:13 ◼   ► motorcycles that you could not give me [TS]

00:25:15 ◼   ► for free for people like Billy Joel no [TS]

00:25:21 ◼   ► these Orange County Choppers guys made a [TS]

00:25:23 ◼   ► motorcycle for Billy Joel and they do [TS]

00:25:24 ◼   ► they they gave it to him onstage at a [TS]

00:25:27 ◼   ► concert in whop eco what what wasa pika [TS]

00:25:30 ◼   ► my massive massachusetts and it was like [TS]

00:25:35 ◼   ► ultimate it was like it was like peak [TS]

00:25:38 ◼   ► Goomba rights just like parking lots [TS]

00:25:50 ◼   ► look the way they do now it all started [TS]

00:25:52 ◼   ► with the coward Jesse James and this is [TS]

00:25:54 ◼   ► why everybody's like a beefy guy with a [TS]

00:25:55 ◼   ► shaved head and sleeveless shirts do you [TS]

00:25:58 ◼   ► think it goes back to him well so Jesse [TS]

00:25:59 ◼   ► James you know so he's got the [TS]

00:26:01 ◼   ► Macklemore a long time before Malcolm oh [TS]

00:26:03 ◼   ► right and he just has this he's just [TS]

00:26:05 ◼   ► such a smug he's just smug he's like [TS]

00:26:08 ◼   ► California smug California punk rock [TS]

00:26:11 ◼   ► smug just a guy that you're like I want [TS]

00:26:13 ◼   ► to take your like pay up sucker tattoo [TS]

00:26:16 ◼   ► and stick it right into a paper shredder [TS]

00:26:18 ◼   ► but he's making motorcycles for people [TS]

00:26:21 ◼   ► he's out there building these cool [TS]

00:26:23 ◼   ► motorcycles in he's like I want a [TS]

00:26:25 ◼   ► motorcycle but I want it to not be your [TS]

00:26:27 ◼   ► normal motorcycle and Jesse James is [TS]

00:26:29 ◼   ► like I got you bro I got you and then my [TS]

00:26:32 ◼   ► palm they're just putting it together [TS]

00:26:35 ◼   ► and they're building the frame and it's [TS]

00:26:36 ◼   ► always gonna be a hard tail because [TS]

00:26:38 ◼   ► they're not pussies and it's like Ramdan [TS]

00:26:40 ◼   ► and a remnant and and and you get you [TS]

00:26:44 ◼   ► just get this feeling like oh I live in [TS]

00:26:45 ◼   ► this garage with these cool assholes [TS]

00:26:48 ◼   ► I could be asshole too but you know [TS]

00:26:51 ◼   ► tomorrow I've got to go to work at State [TS]

00:26:52 ◼   ► Farm but for now I get to watch the [TS]

00:26:56 ◼   ► insides of these guys and when Jesse [TS]

00:26:58 ◼   ► James doesn't build a motorcycle he's [TS]

00:27:00 ◼   ► riding up and down the street in his [TS]

00:27:02 ◼   ► like you know GTO or whatever yep [TS]

00:27:06 ◼   ► the flames coming out of the tailpipe he [TS]

00:27:09 ◼   ► married sandra fucking bullet sandy [TS]

00:27:12 ◼   ► sandy sandy fell for this she fell for [TS]

00:27:15 ◼   ► this ding-a-ling because he was like on [TS]

00:27:18 ◼   ► the top of his game he's it's not like [TS]

00:27:20 ◼   ► he's ever Adam Savage level of like 18 [TS]

00:27:23 ◼   ► seasons of award-winning television yeah [TS]

00:27:25 ◼   ► but he was he was at he was at his peak [TS]

00:27:28 ◼   ► his momentary peak in 2001 ever it's [TS]

00:27:31 ◼   ► wish and some ways it is wish [TS]

00:27:32 ◼   ► fulfillment cuz if you think about [TS]

00:27:34 ◼   ► sometimes we'll be in a hotel room and [TS]

00:27:36 ◼   ► you flip by Food Network hoping that you [TS]

00:27:38 ◼   ► get maybe a chopped or similar right [TS]

00:27:41 ◼   ► drop and instead it's it's 48 hours of [TS]

00:27:45 ◼   ► something about diners and dives and [TS]

00:27:47 ◼   ► drives and it's Guy Fieri and so [TS]

00:27:49 ◼   ► basically in terms of wish fulfillment [TS]

00:27:51 ◼   ► Guy Fieri shows up at your place where [TS]

00:27:52 ◼   ► you make the terrible terrible food and [TS]

00:27:55 ◼   ► then he gets to walk in the kitchen and [TS]

00:27:57 ◼   ► eat it for free pulled pork sliders tram [TS]

00:28:02 ◼   ► ride through flavortown the sliders what [TS]

00:28:05 ◼   ► the fuck is a slider this is like this I [TS]

00:28:07 ◼   ► leave my fucking donkey sauce in this [TS]

00:28:09 ◼   ► slider do you mean a small sandwich [TS]

00:28:16 ◼   ► sports bar in said um hi yes excuse me I [TS]

00:28:21 ◼   ► like a big one like three small [TS]

00:28:24 ◼   ► cheeseburgers sliders and then what are [TS]

00:28:31 ◼   ► these big these big beer bottles now [TS]

00:28:35 ◼   ► that are like what are they called like [TS]

00:28:36 ◼   ► they're not mules either a growler [TS]

00:28:38 ◼   ► growler growlers where did those come [TS]

00:28:41 ◼   ► from oh yeah bring your own fucking [TS]

00:28:43 ◼   ► giant bottle and fill it up and you [TS]

00:28:45 ◼   ► Sydney get to say to everybody oh I'm [TS]

00:28:47 ◼   ► gonna go refill the growler I drank beer [TS]

00:28:50 ◼   ► like a goddamn fucking stevedore for a [TS]

00:28:53 ◼   ► dozen years I never heard a growler yeah [TS]

00:28:56 ◼   ► that's not and it's either it's a [TS]

00:28:57 ◼   ► handlebar moustache of beer [TS]

00:29:00 ◼   ► growlers and sliders Snyder's anyway [TS]

00:29:03 ◼   ► look it's so oh no it's bad you know who [TS]

00:29:06 ◼   ► should be allowed to calm sliders White [TS]

00:29:08 ◼   ► Castle cuz a they're the og slider and [TS]

00:29:11 ◼   ► also it gives you the shits [TS]

00:29:13 ◼   ► yeah right are you are you Pro White [TS]

00:29:16 ◼   ► Castle er or anti white guy I'm gonna [TS]

00:29:18 ◼   ► say 2 out of 6 times I'm pretty into [TS]

00:29:21 ◼   ► White Castle yeah the other what the [TS]

00:29:23 ◼   ► other ones are rough when I got back [TS]

00:29:26 ◼   ► east cuz you know we don't have them out [TS]

00:29:27 ◼   ► here in the West White Castle haven't [TS]

00:29:29 ◼   ► been in years when I went when I went [TS]

00:29:31 ◼   ► back east for the first time 1986 I was [TS]

00:29:34 ◼   ► like I've heard a White Castle I'm [TS]

00:29:37 ◼   ► trying I'm doing all the things that I [TS]

00:29:39 ◼   ► heard about right like that like the [TS]

00:29:41 ◼   ► first time I went to LA I was like [TS]

00:29:42 ◼   ► where's sunset and Vine and I went there [TS]

00:29:45 ◼   ► and I was like I did a Griswold like [TS]

00:29:46 ◼   ► mm-hmm mm-hmm [TS]

00:29:47 ◼   ► alright got it by back east I went to [TS]

00:29:51 ◼   ► Philadelphia at a Philly cheesesteak I [TS]

00:29:53 ◼   ► went to Baltimore I had a Baltimore [TS]

00:29:55 ◼   ► cheesesteak and I see a White Castle I'm [TS]

00:29:59 ◼   ► like I got to go in there and I think I [TS]

00:30:00 ◼   ► might have gone to a payphone and put in [TS]

00:30:02 ◼   ► seventy four quarters and called my mom [TS]

00:30:04 ◼   ► and I was like what is what's a White [TS]

00:30:06 ◼   ► Castle what do I do here she was like oh [TS]

00:30:08 ◼   ► it's little burgers you get a bag of [TS]

00:30:11 ◼   ► them but she said but don't do it [TS]

00:30:13 ◼   ► they're terrible and I was like mom I'm [TS]

00:30:15 ◼   ► on my own now even though I'm calling [TS]

00:30:17 ◼   ► here to ask you about the hamburger [TS]

00:30:19 ◼   ► place it's across the street I need [TS]

00:30:21 ◼   ► snack advice from my mom I need to know [TS]

00:30:23 ◼   ► what I need to know what's going on but [TS]

00:30:25 ◼   ► I'm my own man and I went in I got a bag [TS]

00:30:28 ◼   ► of them and it and it's like food [TS]

00:30:30 ◼   ► service beef it's the kind of beef [TS]

00:30:34 ◼   ► that's like is this meatloaf like it [TS]

00:30:36 ◼   ► could be packing material yeah was this [TS]

00:30:38 ◼   ► meant to go in dog food but it got on [TS]

00:30:39 ◼   ► the wrong conveyor belt well you know [TS]

00:30:41 ◼   ► you know how Wendy's like it's well [TS]

00:30:43 ◼   ► known that Wendy's makes burgers and [TS]

00:30:46 ◼   ► when those burgers get burnt they throw [TS]

00:30:48 ◼   ► them in a bin and in the meat in that [TS]

00:30:49 ◼   ► bin gets turned into chili it's like I [TS]

00:30:52 ◼   ► said they went back a week later and [TS]

00:30:54 ◼   ► sluiced through all of the Wendy's chili [TS]

00:30:56 ◼   ► and then made them back into burgers and [TS]

00:30:58 ◼   ► put holes in them with onions if you [TS]

00:31:01 ◼   ► reverse engineered sliders a lot of [TS]

00:31:03 ◼   ► onions so how'd you do did it give you [TS]

00:31:05 ◼   ► tummy ache yeah I didn't like did give [TS]

00:31:08 ◼   ► me a tummy ache and that was at a time [TS]

00:31:10 ◼   ► when I could not afford to have a random [TS]

00:31:11 ◼   ► tummy ache because I [TS]

00:31:13 ◼   ► you know you never know where you're [TS]

00:31:14 ◼   ► gonna find your next clean bathroom oh [TS]

00:31:16 ◼   ► that's a good point right I'm out in New [TS]

00:31:18 ◼   ► Jersey somewhere I was in East Orange [TS]

00:31:20 ◼   ► the cars aren't the Garden State that's [TS]

00:31:22 ◼   ► in North East Orange and I'd eaten in [TS]

00:31:25 ◼   ► one of these and it's like at the time [TS]

00:31:26 ◼   ► in East Orange you didn't just go around [TS]

00:31:28 ◼   ► knocking on doors saying can I use your [TS]

00:31:30 ◼   ► bathroom [TS]

00:31:31 ◼   ► things have might have changed can I [TS]

00:31:33 ◼   ► give you a real time science fact yes [TS]

00:31:35 ◼   ► 16 percent of the states in the US have [TS]

00:31:39 ◼   ► an orange county how many eight eight [TS]

00:31:44 ◼   ► states Orange County California Orange [TS]

00:31:47 ◼   ► County Florida Indiana New York North [TS]

00:31:49 ◼   ► Carolina Texas Vermont and Virginia I'll [TS]

00:31:52 ◼   ► have an Orange County [TS]

00:31:53 ◼   ► well so if you're south of the [TS]

00:31:56 ◼   ► mason-dixon line and you have an Orange [TS]

00:31:58 ◼   ► County I'm gonna assume at least if [TS]

00:32:01 ◼   ► you're I mean I don't think you can do [TS]

00:32:03 ◼   ► this if you're in North Carolina but if [TS]

00:32:05 ◼   ► you're in Florida or California you [TS]

00:32:07 ◼   ► probably grow oranges there right tada [TS]

00:32:10 ◼   ► Orange County I accept it right and then [TS]

00:32:12 ◼   ► I think on the East Coast I'm gonna say [TS]

00:32:15 ◼   ► that the Orange County's there are a [TS]

00:32:17 ◼   ► reference to Dutch settlers oh that's [TS]

00:32:21 ◼   ► good right that's good right like that [TS]

00:32:25 ◼   ► somebody from the Dutch lands hmm the [TS]

00:32:28 ◼   ► nadir lands which are the which are low [TS]

00:32:30 ◼   ► Danita lenders right they are the [TS]

00:32:33 ◼   ► lowlands they are you know orange is the [TS]

00:32:35 ◼   ► color of the color and what's more it's [TS]

00:32:43 ◼   ► true and they came over and they call it [TS]

00:32:45 ◼   ► orange but Indiana what the fuck you [TS]

00:32:47 ◼   ► have in Orange County for there they're [TS]

00:32:49 ◼   ► so into Indians they're New Jersey [TS]

00:32:53 ◼   ► they've got a lot of Native American [TS]

00:32:54 ◼   ► names they do and they also had a lot of [TS]

00:32:57 ◼   ► early Dutch settlers the lowlanders the [TS]

00:33:02 ◼   ► labor lenders I'm gonna give it to them [TS]

00:33:04 ◼   ► and I know right now there's someone [TS]

00:33:06 ◼   ► listening this program including again [TS]

00:33:09 ◼   ► who's saying you know what we're not all [TS]

00:33:12 ◼   ► Dutch mm-hmm you know what sensitive [TS]

00:33:16 ◼   ► about top background you know it's not [TS]

00:33:18 ◼   ► great this gold finger and turning the [TS]

00:33:20 ◼   ► James Bond I expected to die [TS]

00:33:26 ◼   ► yes this episode of Rodrick online is [TS]

00:33:38 ◼   ► brought to you by Casper you can learn [TS]

00:33:40 ◼   ► more about Casper right now by visiting [TS]

00:33:42 ◼   ► Casper comm slash supertrain you guys [TS]

00:33:45 ◼   ► know Casper Casper is a company that is [TS]

00:33:47 ◼   ► focused on sleep and only sleep they [TS]

00:33:50 ◼   ► make the perfect premium mattress and [TS]

00:33:51 ◼   ► they sell it online for a fraction of [TS]

00:33:53 ◼   ► what it would cost in a store Casper's [TS]

00:33:55 ◼   ► award-winning mattress was developed [TS]

00:33:57 ◼   ► in-house it has a sleek design and it is [TS]

00:33:59 ◼   ► delivered to you in an impossibly small [TS]

00:34:01 ◼   ► box in addition to the mattress Casper [TS]

00:34:04 ◼   ► now also offers an adaptive pillow and [TS]

00:34:06 ◼   ► soft breathable sheets here's what you [TS]

00:34:09 ◼   ► need to know an in-house team of [TS]

00:34:11 ◼   ► engineers a whole team spent thousands [TS]

00:34:13 ◼   ► of hours developing the Casper mattress [TS]

00:34:14 ◼   ► it is an obsessively engineered mattress [TS]

00:34:17 ◼   ► at a shockingly fair price and so it [TS]

00:34:19 ◼   ► should be no surprise to you the [TS]

00:34:21 ◼   ► roderick on the line listener that they [TS]

00:34:22 ◼   ► have an average of 4.8 stars across more [TS]

00:34:25 ◼   ► than 30,000 online reviews near san [TS]

00:34:28 ◼   ► francisco research and development team [TS]

00:34:29 ◼   ► have developed a proprietary foam that [TS]

00:34:32 ◼   ► relieves pressure and increases airflow [TS]

00:34:35 ◼   ► they combine that with a springy comfort [TS]

00:34:38 ◼   ► layer to contour to your body and keep [TS]

00:34:40 ◼   ► you cool oh that feels good [TS]

00:34:42 ◼   ► and that means Casper mattresses have [TS]

00:34:43 ◼   ► just the right sink in just the right [TS]

00:34:45 ◼   ► mounts Casper makes quality mattresses [TS]

00:34:48 ◼   ► at great prices they are designed and [TS]

00:34:50 ◼   ► developed in America everything likes [TS]

00:34:52 ◼   ► America they've cut the hassle they cut [TS]

00:34:54 ◼   ► the cost you're not gonna be dealing [TS]

00:34:55 ◼   ► with showrooms and they're passing those [TS]

00:34:57 ◼   ► savings directly on to you I love my [TS]

00:35:00 ◼   ► Casper mattress uh as you heard in this [TS]

00:35:02 ◼   ► episode I had some sleep trouble last [TS]

00:35:04 ◼   ► night it was disrupted the shower didn't [TS]

00:35:08 ◼   ► help that much but I'll tell you buddy [TS]

00:35:10 ◼   ► no one I could get in to that beautiful [TS]

00:35:12 ◼   ► beautiful king-size Casper have that [TS]

00:35:15 ◼   ► sleep surface accommodate my body [TS]

00:35:18 ◼   ► the proprietary foam and relieve [TS]

00:35:20 ◼   ► pressure and increased airflow [TS]

00:35:21 ◼   ► it's a dynamite piece of engineering my [TS]

00:35:24 ◼   ► wife and I sleep on one my daughter [TS]

00:35:26 ◼   ► sleeps on one our cat sleeps on a filthy [TS]

00:35:29 ◼   ► cushion by a heating vent because she's [TS]

00:35:32 ◼   ► a broken creature but I love my Casper [TS]

00:35:35 ◼   ► mattress buddy wolf buying Casper [TS]

00:35:37 ◼   ► mattress it is so easy and is so [TS]

00:35:39 ◼   ► completely [TS]

00:35:40 ◼   ► risk free caspere offers free delivery [TS]

00:35:42 ◼   ► and free returns to the US Canada and he [TS]

00:35:45 ◼   ► oh you know that's my bridge siren the [TS]

00:35:48 ◼   ► UK to the UK though free delivery and [TS]

00:35:50 ◼   ► returns he believed that with Casper you [TS]

00:35:52 ◼   ► can actually get to sleep on their [TS]

00:35:53 ◼   ► mattress before you make your decision [TS]

00:35:55 ◼   ► try it out for 100 nights and decide if [TS]

00:35:57 ◼   ► it's the mattress you want to spend one [TS]

00:35:59 ◼   ► third of your life on and if you don't [TS]

00:36:00 ◼   ► love it check this out they'll pick it [TS]

00:36:02 ◼   ► up and refund you everything and right [TS]

00:36:04 ◼   ► now as you listen to this you can get [TS]

00:36:05 ◼   ► $50 American toward any mattress [TS]

00:36:07 ◼   ► purchase by visiting Casper comm slash [TS]

00:36:10 ◼   ► supertrain and using the very special [TS]

00:36:12 ◼   ► offer code supertrain a check out $50 [TS]

00:36:14 ◼   ► off terms and conditions apply [TS]

00:36:16 ◼   ► our thanks to Casper first morning [TS]

00:36:19 ◼   ► Roderick on the line and all the great [TS]

00:36:22 ◼   ► shows I'm on the internet science page [TS]

00:36:31 ◼   ► god I love this list of the most common [TS]

00:36:34 ◼   ► us place names Oh [TS]

00:36:36 ◼   ► Springfield is number two with shirt one [TS]

00:36:39 ◼   ► instances number one Washington with 88 [TS]

00:36:42 ◼   ► instances in the US [TS]

00:36:44 ◼   ► Franklin Greenville Bristol Clinton this [TS]

00:36:46 ◼   ► all sounds like the names of Sarah [TS]

00:36:48 ◼   ► Palin's children Fairview Salem Madison [TS]

00:36:51 ◼   ► Georgetown Arlington Ashland Dover otter [TS]

00:36:54 ◼   ► Jackson Burlington Manchester Oh [TS]

00:36:55 ◼   ► Manchester [TS]

00:36:57 ◼   ► why would you name after the after the [TS]

00:37:00 ◼   ► bad reputation that Salem got early on [TS]

00:37:02 ◼   ► yeah why would you name your town Salem [TS]

00:37:05 ◼   ► eighth most popular place name that just [TS]

00:37:08 ◼   ► seems banana Salem Salem Salem it has [TS]

00:37:12 ◼   ► bad mouthfeel yeah you cannot think [TS]

00:37:16 ◼   ► about anything when you hear Salem [TS]

00:37:18 ◼   ► except for well it's capital of Oregon [TS]

00:37:22 ◼   ► mm-hmm come on actually the capital of [TS]

00:37:27 ◼   ► Oregon is Springfield Springfield it's [TS]

00:37:29 ◼   ► Washington because that's the one [TS]

00:37:31 ◼   ► Springfield Oregon is the one right it's [TS]

00:37:33 ◼   ► the ER Springfield OR Springfield [TS]

00:37:35 ◼   ► it's the that make cartoon boy want a [TS]

00:37:38 ◼   ► name at that I'm learning so much today [TS]

00:37:43 ◼   ► so the guys are still touring I don't if [TS]

00:37:46 ◼   ► you can hear that they're out there [TS]

00:37:47 ◼   ► they're getting pretty busy I think they [TS]

00:37:48 ◼   ► I think they had a little break they [TS]

00:37:49 ◼   ► they talk they work some things out and [TS]

00:37:51 ◼   ► they've come back to the tour announced [TS]

00:37:52 ◼   ► they spilled a you know what you know [TS]

00:37:53 ◼   ► tourists just dinosaurs taught it's just [TS]

00:37:56 ◼   ► liquid dinosaurs [TS]

00:37:56 ◼   ► yeah it's liquid dinosaurs like so many [TS]

00:37:58 ◼   ► of the other things that we use in look [TS]

00:38:00 ◼   ► at dinosaurs just add labour turns out [TS]

00:38:02 ◼   ► to be liquid diners it turns out [TS]

00:38:03 ◼   ► dinosaurs that lived at the same time as [TS]

00:38:06 ◼   ► humans humans rode them people are [TS]

00:38:08 ◼   ► constantly trying to cover that up yeah [TS]

00:38:09 ◼   ► I mean how would we and the only way we [TS]

00:38:11 ◼   ► could no have you thought about this [TS]

00:38:13 ◼   ► professor science briefcase yeah how [TS]

00:38:16 ◼   ► would you even know how would you even [TS]

00:38:17 ◼   ► know about dinosaurs if people weren't [TS]

00:38:19 ◼   ► alive then probably unless you're taking [TS]

00:38:22 ◼   ► selfies and stuff exactly true selfies [TS]

00:38:25 ◼   ► but drawing a picture themselves with a [TS]

00:38:26 ◼   ► dinosaur on a stone in a way that was [TS]

00:38:28 ◼   ► probably very perilous because you [TS]

00:38:29 ◼   ► shouldn't do that you should get away [TS]

00:38:30 ◼   ► from the dinosaur but maybe as a [TS]

00:38:32 ◼   ► historian as a budding paleo historian [TS]

00:38:34 ◼   ► you felt that you have to capture that [TS]

00:38:36 ◼   ► absolutely clams got legs right he's got [TS]

00:38:39 ◼   ► a snack a nap sterics is his win was per [TS]

00:38:42 ◼   ► with hairy feathers Jesse James all [TS]

00:38:52 ◼   ► right at one point do you know what [TS]

00:38:54 ◼   ► station he was on was this backhoes [TS]

00:38:57 ◼   ► discover it was back when there were [TS]

00:38:58 ◼   ► only five stations I see it was Barry I [TS]

00:39:00 ◼   ► used to love any i used to love bravo [TS]

00:39:02 ◼   ► and now because people selling houses [TS]

00:39:05 ◼   ► amy was about arts and education it was [TS]

00:39:08 ◼   ► not about the the top rock star wives of [TS]

00:39:11 ◼   ► Beverly Hills were you mm-hmm you would [TS]

00:39:15 ◼   ► watch the guy asking everybody questions [TS]

00:39:17 ◼   ► James Lipton Danny [TS]

00:39:20 ◼   ► there were a lot there used to be a lot [TS]

00:39:22 ◼   ► of stations that had a had a premise and [TS]

00:39:25 ◼   ► you know what Merlin they had principles [TS]

00:39:27 ◼   ► and principles you discover National [TS]

00:39:31 ◼   ► Geographic which is you know you know [TS]

00:39:33 ◼   ► like covered things on discovery you say [TS]

00:39:37 ◼   ► Bravo because you're watching the [TS]

00:39:38 ◼   ► performance that you're watching you [TS]

00:39:40 ◼   ► because you're watching two ladies in [TS]

00:39:42 ◼   ► Tanz with high heels hit each other [TS]

00:39:43 ◼   ► champagne glasses actually say Bravo [TS]

00:39:47 ◼   ► after watching a Sean Bravo very very [TS]

00:39:50 ◼   ► rare well now I said now I hardly do it [TS]

00:39:53 ◼   ► at all so how are Jesse James he's he's [TS]

00:39:57 ◼   ► making hogs for people and and every guy [TS]

00:40:02 ◼   ► and you know who can who can pay this [TS]

00:40:04 ◼   ► asshole to make a hog form [TS]

00:40:05 ◼   ► rich guys but you know they're masking [TS]

00:40:08 ◼   ► the Rick's rich guys they're making them [TS]

00:40:10 ◼   ► look like cool rich guys anyway then in [TS]

00:40:13 ◼   ► the door walks Shaquille O'Neal and you [TS]

00:40:19 ◼   ► go what Shaquille O'Neal like I leaned [TS]

00:40:22 ◼   ► forward in my chair [TS]

00:40:23 ◼   ► here comes Shaquille O'Neal into Jesse [TS]

00:40:25 ◼   ► James's motorcycle shop and Shaquille [TS]

00:40:28 ◼   ► says I want a motorcycle but here's the [TS]

00:40:30 ◼   ► problem I'm Shaquille O'Neal I am [TS]

00:40:34 ◼   ► exponentially bigger than everyone else [TS]

00:40:37 ◼   ► he's one point two five people at least [TS]

00:40:39 ◼   ► he is 1 3 ok let's find out how tall are [TS]

00:40:42 ◼   ► you his but he's it's not just tall [TS]

00:40:44 ◼   ► right my hands big man speed or big his [TS]

00:40:47 ◼   ► legs are big his name is hard to spell [TS]

00:40:49 ◼   ► apparently he's got knees 77 foot 1:7 [TS]

00:40:55 ◼   ► for 155 years old but he's perfectly [TS]

00:40:57 ◼   ► proportionate his giant person hmm he [TS]

00:41:02 ◼   ► comes in he says I want a motorcycle but [TS]

00:41:05 ◼   ► all these heart of these Harley's that [TS]

00:41:07 ◼   ► and he sits on a regular Harley and it's [TS]

00:41:09 ◼   ► like it's hilarious because these [TS]

00:41:12 ◼   ► Harley's are big bikes they're hard to [TS]

00:41:14 ◼   ► control if I was on a Harley and it laid [TS]

00:41:16 ◼   ► down it would be like ow right and like [TS]

00:41:19 ◼   ► it's up these are large animals and he [TS]

00:41:23 ◼   ► sits on this heart and he's like you see [TS]

00:41:24 ◼   ► my problem right and it's like he's [TS]

00:41:25 ◼   ► sitting in a it's like he's sitting in [TS]

00:41:27 ◼   ► coach like the picture of Andre the [TS]

00:41:30 ◼   ► Giant holding a beer can and the entire [TS]

00:41:32 ◼   ► beer can is like it looks it is his palm [TS]

00:41:35 ◼   ► is larger than a beer can do you [TS]

00:41:38 ◼   ► remember the it's very famous photograph [TS]

00:41:41 ◼   ► from the 70s of the two the two fairly [TS]

00:41:44 ◼   ► obese but twin brothers that are writing [TS]

00:41:46 ◼   ► mini bikes you know I do [TS]

00:41:47 ◼   ► of course Billy and Bobby and they were [TS]

00:41:51 ◼   ► pro wrestlers for a while very [TS]

00:41:54 ◼   ► unflattering photo but it was in every [TS]

00:41:56 ◼   ► edition I ever owned it was hilarious [TS]

00:41:57 ◼   ► and I'll be Joe something like that was [TS]

00:42:00 ◼   ► at petticoat junction I forget what [TS]

00:42:01 ◼   ► they're called but they're petticoat [TS]

00:42:02 ◼   ► junction names Billy Joe and Bobby Joe [TS]

00:42:04 ◼   ► mm-hmm [TS]

00:42:06 ◼   ► it was I think the most ubiquitous [TS]

00:42:08 ◼   ► poster from the 70s that wasn't that [TS]

00:42:10 ◼   ► didn't include Farrah Fawcett was that [TS]

00:42:12 ◼   ► picture of a wet cat hanging from what [TS]

00:42:16 ◼   ► came from Michelle's curtain rod [TS]

00:42:18 ◼   ► yep yeah baby baby with the boys [TS]

00:42:21 ◼   ► spaghetti on his head crying oh that's [TS]

00:42:25 ◼   ► like fat-cat capsizing [TS]

00:42:28 ◼   ► anyway anyway and that's that's a [TS]

00:42:30 ◼   ► triptych [TS]

00:42:31 ◼   ► all right so Shaq Shaq needs a hog Shaq [TS]

00:42:34 ◼   ► comes in and Jesse James asshole of the [TS]

00:42:37 ◼   ► universe who cheated on Sandra Bullock [TS]

00:42:40 ◼   ► America's Sweetheart cheated on her with [TS]

00:42:43 ◼   ► I think Theresa Von Teese or somebody [TS]

00:42:47 ◼   ► you know like there was less lady that [TS]

00:42:49 ◼   ► was vertical she was with Nine Inch [TS]

00:42:51 ◼   ► Nails no she was with she was with [TS]

00:42:52 ◼   ► Marilyn Manson [TS]

00:42:54 ◼   ► she had nine-inch heels mm I think I [TS]

00:42:58 ◼   ► think she burn less her way into the [TS]

00:43:00 ◼   ► marriage between asshole EO and [TS]

00:43:03 ◼   ► America's Sweetheart EO uh-huh [TS]

00:43:06 ◼   ► but so Shaq doesn't know any of this I'm [TS]

00:43:08 ◼   ► guessing right Shaq's just like having [TS]

00:43:10 ◼   ► his time he's like I want a motorcycle [TS]

00:43:12 ◼   ► where do I get one I go to this guy on [TS]

00:43:14 ◼   ► TV he's making motorcycles and he says [TS]

00:43:16 ◼   ► you gotta make me this motorcycle so [TS]

00:43:18 ◼   ► they had to build a motorcycle that was [TS]

00:43:21 ◼   ► portion it to Shaquille and did it they [TS]

00:43:26 ◼   ► accomplished it and I'm not saying that [TS]

00:43:28 ◼   ► he's a bad welder right I think Jesse [TS]

00:43:30 ◼   ► James probably good weld he's a good [TS]

00:43:32 ◼   ► fabricator he had some good fabricators [TS]

00:43:33 ◼   ► on his team they fabricated this [TS]

00:43:35 ◼   ► motorcycle and Shaq gets on it it looks [TS]

00:43:37 ◼   ► right it's the right size for him it's [TS]

00:43:40 ◼   ► it's like it's exactly how it should [TS]

00:43:43 ◼   ► look how a motorcycle should look on a [TS]

00:43:44 ◼   ► man and he rides off down into the night [TS]

00:43:47 ◼   ► and and the final shot of the show is he [TS]

00:43:51 ◼   ► pulls into a gas station to put gas in [TS]

00:43:53 ◼   ► his giant motorcycle huh and it's like [TS]

00:43:55 ◼   ► it hits it's like a trick of perspective [TS]

00:43:58 ◼   ► it's like being in one it's like being [TS]

00:44:00 ◼   ► in a funhouse where you're like why was [TS]

00:44:01 ◼   ► it like a Peter Jackson filling station [TS]

00:44:03 ◼   ► yeah here's this thing that just seems [TS]

00:44:06 ◼   ► like if you if you saw him at a distance [TS]

00:44:08 ◼   ► you'd be like god it's a guy on a [TS]

00:44:10 ◼   ► motorcycle sick if it's bigger you're [TS]

00:44:11 ◼   ► like what's happening why of course [TS]

00:44:13 ◼   ► force perspective yeah why are my hands [TS]

00:44:15 ◼   ► so big and and it was like the most [TS]

00:44:21 ◼   ► amazing it was just tremendous and the [TS]

00:44:23 ◼   ► thing was I always wanted things in the [TS]

00:44:26 ◼   ► world to be built to the scale that I [TS]

00:44:30 ◼   ► was [TS]

00:44:30 ◼   ► mmm-hmm and this started even when I was [TS]

00:44:33 ◼   ► little I was I was like 11 or 12 years [TS]

00:44:35 ◼   ► old [TS]

00:44:36 ◼   ► other kids around me were starting to be [TS]

00:44:40 ◼   ► interested in one another sexually they [TS]

00:44:42 ◼   ► started to like you know like my friend [TS]

00:44:45 ◼   ► Kevin he and he and his little [TS]

00:44:48 ◼   ► girlfriend would stuff leaves down the [TS]

00:44:50 ◼   ► front of their sweater ooh [TS]

00:44:51 ◼   ► each other's sweaters this is an autumn [TS]

00:44:53 ◼   ► and then they would you know have to [TS]

00:44:56 ◼   ► help one another yet it's something that [TS]

00:44:58 ◼   ► is so playful right isn't that sweet oh [TS]

00:45:00 ◼   ► that's a play fair like touching each [TS]

00:45:02 ◼   ► other yes they have to think I get the [TS]

00:45:04 ◼   ► leaves out and here's what I was [TS]

00:45:06 ◼   ► thinking of I was not thinking of that I [TS]

00:45:08 ◼   ► was thinking why can't I have a 1968 [TS]

00:45:11 ◼   ► rolls-royce Silver Shadow that is scaled [TS]

00:45:15 ◼   ► small to me not a pedal car this is not [TS]

00:45:18 ◼   ► some Bugsy Malone car really good song [TS]

00:45:31 ◼   ► that's a very good song it's almost say [TS]

00:45:33 ◼   ► about God [TS]

00:45:33 ◼   ► every song in that record is incredible [TS]

00:45:36 ◼   ► that baby with the pie fight is so weird [TS]

00:45:39 ◼   ► it's so weird you broke my heart it [TS]

00:45:42 ◼   ► scared me like it's clear that those [TS]

00:45:44 ◼   ► people are dying they're being shot and [TS]

00:45:47 ◼   ► bite cream whipped cream pies but they [TS]

00:45:50 ◼   ► don't die mm-hmm they just start dying [TS]

00:45:53 ◼   ► but I but I knew they were dying oh that [TS]

00:45:56 ◼   ► movie I really that deeply deeply [TS]

00:45:58 ◼   ► affected me to this day have an impact [TS]

00:46:01 ◼   ► on your Jodie Foster feelings look yes [TS]

00:46:03 ◼   ► oh my god yes when that movie was in the [TS]

00:46:06 ◼   ► theaters that summer which would have [TS]

00:46:07 ◼   ► been what summer of 76 Summer of 70 so [TS]

00:46:11 ◼   ► maybe a little later cuz chachi was in [TS]

00:46:13 ◼   ► it so 78 probably I'll find out whatever [TS]

00:46:17 ◼   ► summer that was it it became a thing [TS]

00:46:22 ◼   ► that my mom could take me to the theater [TS]

00:46:24 ◼   ► and drop me off 7676 because I would [TS]

00:46:29 ◼   ► just go watch Bugsy Malone and I it was [TS]

00:46:32 ◼   ► the first movie I think that I saw [TS]

00:46:34 ◼   ► multiple times in the theater back when [TS]

00:46:37 ◼   ► you could send a kid to the movies for [TS]

00:46:38 ◼   ► for two bits mm-hm [TS]

00:46:41 ◼   ► these are not police that very well you [TS]

00:46:43 ◼   ► could think one thing they do this [TS]

00:46:45 ◼   ► sounds crazy today this would drive John [TS]

00:46:46 ◼   ► Stark you so crazy if you got there [TS]

00:46:48 ◼   ► early you could go in and watch the end [TS]

00:46:50 ◼   ► of the movie you're about to see and [TS]

00:46:52 ◼   ► then just stay there and watch it all [TS]

00:46:53 ◼   ► the way through again my good role many [TS]

00:46:55 ◼   ► times as a kid watch the watch the end [TS]

00:46:58 ◼   ► of the movie and then watch it and then [TS]

00:47:00 ◼   ► stay and watch it again didn't they [TS]

00:47:02 ◼   ► didn't really police that no I mean you [TS]

00:47:04 ◼   ► couldn't do it if it was Star Wars right [TS]

00:47:06 ◼   ► because there was a line around 14 [TS]

00:47:08 ◼   ► blocks right right but Bugsy Malone [TS]

00:47:10 ◼   ► matinee this is before the age of the [TS]

00:47:12 ◼   ► blockbuster we're still we're still not [TS]

00:47:14 ◼   ► on jaws yes 76 1976 I mean this is this [TS]

00:47:18 ◼   ► is back when people actually said two [TS]

00:47:20 ◼   ► bits still and other people knew what [TS]

00:47:21 ◼   ► they were talking about but I would sit [TS]

00:47:24 ◼   ► and daydream because I had a why had a [TS]

00:47:26 ◼   ► mile and a half walk to school in [TS]

00:47:28 ◼   ► seventh grade [TS]

00:47:30 ◼   ► rain or shine and it was Alaska it was [TS]

00:47:31 ◼   ► cold as cold as well as we used to say [TS]

00:47:34 ◼   ► as a witch's tit hmm and I would and I'm [TS]

00:47:37 ◼   ► sure other kids were walking home from [TS]

00:47:39 ◼   ► school and they were thinking about like [TS]

00:47:40 ◼   ► Oh what's my next stratagem forgetting [TS]

00:47:43 ◼   ► to touch a boob and I was thinking how [TS]

00:47:46 ◼   ► do I get a scale battery-powered [TS]

00:47:49 ◼   ► rolls-royce Silver Shadow and why do I [TS]

00:47:53 ◼   ► not have one already and I was imagining [TS]

00:47:55 ◼   ► seventh grade now this is when people [TS]

00:47:58 ◼   ► start to get sophisticated this is when [TS]

00:47:59 ◼   ► this is when they start to hormones [TS]

00:48:03 ◼   ► start to rush in and I'm picturing I'm [TS]

00:48:05 ◼   ► imagining a scene where I would arrive [TS]

00:48:07 ◼   ► at school in a battery-powered scale [TS]

00:48:11 ◼   ► Rolls Royce and park it and be admired I [TS]

00:48:15 ◼   ► was imagining that I would be admired [TS]

00:48:17 ◼   ► rather than reviled that is how that is [TS]

00:48:22 ◼   ► how slowly my brain developed but you [TS]

00:48:26 ◼   ► you seized upon that idea and another [TS]

00:48:27 ◼   ► thing I here's two things I knew about [TS]

00:48:29 ◼   ► the rolls-royce Silver Shadow I don't [TS]

00:48:31 ◼   ► know if either of these are true but but [TS]

00:48:33 ◼   ► I heard that was the nicest car you [TS]

00:48:35 ◼   ► could get in the conventional wisdom a [TS]

00:48:38 ◼   ► Rolls Royce everybody knew was the [TS]

00:48:40 ◼   ► nicest car you could get in there I [TS]

00:48:41 ◼   ► remember hearing that the silver shot I [TS]

00:48:43 ◼   ► don't know if this is true a silver [TS]

00:48:44 ◼   ► shadow in the 70s cost a hundred [TS]

00:48:46 ◼   ► thousand dollars maybe I don't even care [TS]

00:48:49 ◼   ► if it's true but that going in didn't [TS]

00:48:50 ◼   ► you have that same impression like this [TS]

00:48:52 ◼   ► is the ultimate luxury rod what [TS]

00:48:54 ◼   ► with the cost it's the nicest car it's [TS]

00:48:56 ◼   ► the car that you would get if you well [TS]

00:48:58 ◼   ► it's car you would get if you were John [TS]

00:48:59 ◼   ► Lennon and you painted it with a bunch [TS]

00:49:01 ◼   ► of psychedelia got a record player in it [TS]

00:49:03 ◼   ► sure sure I mean that's the Grey Poupon [TS]

00:49:05 ◼   ► card that's the one that's the canonical [TS]

00:49:09 ◼   ► nice car sure it's the guy the guy in [TS]

00:49:11 ◼   ► candleshoe [TS]

00:49:17 ◼   ► the only mistake of course with Bugsy [TS]

00:49:19 ◼   ► Malone is that they didn't none of those [TS]

00:49:23 ◼   ► kids could sing they could barely talk I [TS]

00:49:26 ◼   ► mean that movie they are chachi is so [TS]

00:49:29 ◼   ► fucking stilted in that film like [TS]

00:49:31 ◼   ► they're the wonder of it though it's [TS]

00:49:34 ◼   ► like there's so much they put into the [TS]

00:49:35 ◼   ► production design of that movie and the [TS]

00:49:37 ◼   ► costumes and the wonderful Paul Williams [TS]

00:49:39 ◼   ► and his great music and and then but the [TS]

00:49:41 ◼   ► kids are their little kids it's like [TS]

00:49:43 ◼   ► community theater it's obviously though [TS]

00:49:45 ◼   ► Jodie Foster's in a different movie [TS]

00:49:46 ◼   ► like she's so good she's so good and the [TS]

00:49:50 ◼   ► kid that plays the the main heavy mm-hmm [TS]

00:49:53 ◼   ► I was good he was just some kid that [TS]

00:49:56 ◼   ► auditioned to be in the in the chorus [TS]

00:49:58 ◼   ► mm-hmm because that film was made in [TS]

00:50:00 ◼   ► England because that was back when when [TS]

00:50:02 ◼   ► I was cheaper to make films in England [TS]

00:50:03 ◼   ► because England was a depressed economy [TS]

00:50:05 ◼   ► England was a poor country all right so [TS]

00:50:09 ◼   ► it's time yeah Sex Pistols time this is [TS]

00:50:12 ◼   ► when they were this is when the punk [TS]

00:50:13 ◼   ► rockers were all mad about how you [TS]

00:50:15 ◼   ► couldn't get a job they wouldn't collect [TS]

00:50:16 ◼   ► the garbage the garbage just pile up [TS]

00:50:17 ◼   ► yeah that's right that's right you know [TS]

00:50:20 ◼   ► that was they if it wasn't for the nips [TS]

00:50:23 ◼   ► being so good it made building ships [TS]

00:50:24 ◼   ► yeah Frank had wings [TS]

00:50:26 ◼   ► yeah yeah so so they they audition this [TS]

00:50:29 ◼   ► kid he came in he was just like are you [TS]

00:50:31 ◼   ► know you really I know this I know this [TS]

00:50:34 ◼   ► do you have the buzzing coffee table [TS]

00:50:36 ◼   ► book I know what it was it was actually [TS]

00:50:38 ◼   ► a coffee mug that had little factoids of [TS]

00:50:42 ◼   ► Bugsy Malone on it so the kid did this [TS]

00:50:51 ◼   ► audition and they were like you're [TS]

00:50:52 ◼   ► amazing we're gonna give you this big [TS]

00:50:54 ◼   ► part we're gonna make you we're gonna [TS]

00:50:55 ◼   ► give you a speaking role but the problem [TS]

00:50:57 ◼   ► with the film is that they didn't have [TS]

00:50:59 ◼   ► time to get the kids to sing the songs [TS]

00:51:04 ◼   ► and so every time a kid opens his mouth [TS]

00:51:06 ◼   ► to sing its [TS]

00:51:07 ◼   ► actually Paul Williams's voice coming [TS]

00:51:10 ◼   ► out of a little african-american boy for [TS]

00:51:11 ◼   ► example yes Paul cos Paul Williams did [TS]

00:51:14 ◼   ► the demos set him off and the filmmakers [TS]

00:51:16 ◼   ► you know he was like here's the songs [TS]

00:51:17 ◼   ► yeah and the filmmakers were like well [TS]

00:51:19 ◼   ► that's good enough and they just used [TS]

00:51:21 ◼   ► his him singing his songs over himself [TS]

00:51:23 ◼   ► and that is the thing that makes that [TS]

00:51:27 ◼   ► movie like not a classic right it would [TS]

00:51:30 ◼   ► be it would be in the pantheon yeah I [TS]

00:51:32 ◼   ► mean it definitely I watched it [TS]

00:51:35 ◼   ► where was you know it was that song what [TS]

00:51:38 ◼   ► is the name of that wonderful song at [TS]

00:51:39 ◼   ► the end of the movie I'm spacing on oh [TS]

00:51:41 ◼   ► yeah okay [TS]

00:51:44 ◼   ► it's a nice song I'll cut all this out [TS]

00:51:46 ◼   ► Bugsy Malone it's a week but Wiser's [TS]

00:51:53 ◼   ► King the king is second to none tintin [TS]

00:51:55 ◼   ► tintin that was only just begun that's [TS]

00:52:02 ◼   ► not you give a little love get a little [TS]

00:52:09 ◼   ► love yeah yeah what was my point I had a [TS]

00:52:14 ◼   ► migraine last night well no that was the [TS]

00:52:16 ◼   ► point right give a little love yes the [TS]

00:52:18 ◼   ► point in the end you're in the end the [TS]

00:52:19 ◼   ► Paul Williams you give is equal to the [TS]

00:52:21 ◼   ► love death of the bugs that you make [TS]

00:52:22 ◼   ► right so Jesse James is no scale [TS]

00:52:28 ◼   ► rolls-royce but it would now be 1.1 got [TS]

00:52:31 ◼   ► it got it got it got it but would be [TS]

00:52:32 ◼   ► electric power you pull right up you'd [TS]

00:52:33 ◼   ► have your own spot cuz your student of [TS]

00:52:34 ◼   ► the month and then all the ladies and [TS]

00:52:36 ◼   ► the dudes let's be honest but I'll go [TS]

00:52:37 ◼   ► loose [TS]

00:52:38 ◼   ► yes shadow yeah they would not say they [TS]

00:52:40 ◼   ► would not at all say oh my god it's he's [TS]

00:52:44 ◼   ► finally lost what the fuck on this this [TS]

00:52:50 ◼   ► is before kids even sweared [TS]

00:52:52 ◼   ► openly now they would just be like I [TS]

00:52:54 ◼   ► cannot believe what I'm seeing like it [TS]

00:52:57 ◼   ► would be the ultimate I mean I was [TS]

00:52:59 ◼   ► already as uncool as you could be but [TS]

00:53:00 ◼   ► this would be a new I might as well [TS]

00:53:03 ◼   ► well I I would I would step out and put [TS]

00:53:05 ◼   ► on my top hat and walk the biology like [TS]

00:53:09 ◼   ► mr. monopoly at your service what world [TS]

00:53:12 ◼   ► did I think I was living I did the same [TS]

00:53:14 ◼   ► thing I had these visions I'm always [TS]

00:53:15 ◼   ► thinking that was a Willa Cather story [TS]

00:53:17 ◼   ► Paul's case about the little boy who [TS]

00:53:19 ◼   ► wants to be luxurious [TS]

00:53:21 ◼   ► he runs away from home and he does [TS]

00:53:23 ◼   ► something fraudulent to get money and he [TS]

00:53:24 ◼   ► goes to this hotel and fancy restaurants [TS]

00:53:27 ◼   ► and like that was me I wanted that so [TS]

00:53:29 ◼   ► much I want to be fancy I wanted to be [TS]

00:53:31 ◼   ► fancy I really wanted I would but my mom [TS]

00:53:34 ◼   ► would pick me up after work sometimes go [TS]

00:53:36 ◼   ► out got to Skyline Chili and I'd wear a [TS]

00:53:38 ◼   ► three-piece suit three-piece polyester [TS]

00:53:40 ◼   ► suit to go have chili not to get cinema [TS]

00:53:45 ◼   ► on my necktie I you know I did the same [TS]

00:53:48 ◼   ► thing I did I loved it I love to I love [TS]

00:53:51 ◼   ► being fancy somebody yelled at me the [TS]

00:53:52 ◼   ► other day they were like you like being [TS]

00:53:54 ◼   ► fancy and I said does it might be fancy [TS]

00:53:57 ◼   ► you see that like it's a bad thing yeah [TS]

00:54:00 ◼   ► and the answer was that you know that [TS]

00:54:03 ◼   ► that yeah you don't want to be fancy [TS]

00:54:05 ◼   ► because that's some kind of you know [TS]

00:54:08 ◼   ► that you think you're better than other [TS]

00:54:09 ◼   ► people yeah your fancy instead of being [TS]

00:54:12 ◼   ► like real and I was like look I am [TS]

00:54:15 ◼   ► fucking real you wanted to but I think [TS]

00:54:17 ◼   ► tomorrow a word from our friends across [TS]

00:54:19 ◼   ► the pond you want to be posh well you [TS]

00:54:22 ◼   ► know I want to be able to pick up the [TS]

00:54:25 ◼   ► phone and say front desk I'm allergic to [TS]

00:54:29 ◼   ► these pillows and have the front desk [TS]

00:54:32 ◼   ► say we'll be right up and then they show [TS]

00:54:35 ◼   ► up and they have a whole arm load of [TS]

00:54:37 ◼   ► pillows that you're not allergic to [TS]

00:54:38 ◼   ► I got a pillow valid yeah I don't want [TS]

00:54:41 ◼   ► they're gonna walk you through the [TS]

00:54:42 ◼   ► process of figuring out the one it's [TS]

00:54:44 ◼   ► gonna be right for your allergy well [TS]

00:54:45 ◼   ► they're gonna say like you know go [TS]

00:54:48 ◼   ► entertain yourself in the other room of [TS]

00:54:50 ◼   ► your hotel room while I change out all [TS]

00:54:54 ◼   ► your bedding and you'll never know they [TS]

00:54:55 ◼   ► were here you'll never know these [TS]

00:54:56 ◼   ► allergic pillows we're even here and [TS]

00:54:58 ◼   ► they just they just leave it's like the [TS]

00:55:02 ◼   ► room service guy that wants to take the [TS]

00:55:03 ◼   ► lid off all your food and talk about it [TS]

00:55:04 ◼   ► no they do not [TS]

00:55:05 ◼   ► they're not even soliciting a tip [TS]

00:55:07 ◼   ► they're just like I am a ghost I am a [TS]

00:55:09 ◼   ► ghost that is taking problems away [TS]

00:55:11 ◼   ► because that is not water I would love a [TS]

00:55:13 ◼   ► problem ghosts so much right and the [TS]

00:55:15 ◼   ► thing is there are plenty of hotels you [TS]

00:55:17 ◼   ► could stay in an America that don't even [TS]

00:55:18 ◼   ► have a phone you have to walk down and [TS]

00:55:20 ◼   ► rap on the ice machine because that's [TS]

00:55:23 ◼   ► where the deaths is which is by the way [TS]

00:55:24 ◼   ► one floor down because they don't have [TS]

00:55:25 ◼   ► one every floor anymore and the guy says [TS]

00:55:28 ◼   ► oh we have a set of those but they're in [TS]

00:55:31 ◼   ► use or something you know like you [TS]

00:55:34 ◼   ► where you're walking down the hall of [TS]

00:55:36 ◼   ► the hotel and and there is a you know [TS]

00:55:38 ◼   ► there's a pattern in the carpet from all [TS]

00:55:40 ◼   ► the people that have walked before the [TS]

00:55:42 ◼   ► so many of them are dead now well and a [TS]

00:55:44 ◼   ► lot of them were dripping blood desire [TS]

00:55:51 ◼   ► path come on you walk over to the Andy [TS]

00:55:56 ◼   ► Griffith phone you crank it a few times [TS]

00:55:57 ◼   ► you say give me Raleigh on the phone and [TS]

00:55:59 ◼   ► then Raleigh picks up down at the front [TS]

00:56:01 ◼   ► desk [TS]

00:56:02 ◼   ► maybe maybe or maybe you go straight to [TS]

00:56:04 ◼   ► voicemail well also I'd like to if I [TS]

00:56:07 ◼   ► pick up the phone and say hello front [TS]

00:56:09 ◼   ► desk I'd like them to already know my [TS]

00:56:11 ◼   ► room number because it comes up on their [TS]

00:56:13 ◼   ► system I ordinarily find it super creepy [TS]

00:56:16 ◼   ► but you know in other situations I would [TS]

00:56:18 ◼   ► find this creepy Bell tell you what I [TS]

00:56:19 ◼   ► like I call an in-room dining I'll call [TS]

00:56:21 ◼   ► from dining and they say they say hello [TS]

00:56:24 ◼   ► a mister man are you I want to give it [TS]

00:56:27 ◼   ► away are you in 306 right on and you [TS]

00:56:32 ◼   ► know you asked for a pitcher of water [TS]

00:56:33 ◼   ► and they know they know you want a [TS]

00:56:35 ◼   ► pitcher of water you don't want three [TS]

00:56:36 ◼   ► glasses of water with plastic wrap on [TS]

00:56:38 ◼   ► them you know what more ice I don't want [TS]

00:56:42 ◼   ► to get ice bring me ice I love a place [TS]

00:56:44 ◼   ► where if they don't have an ice machine [TS]

00:56:46 ◼   ► they are Johnny there Jonathan on the [TS]

00:56:48 ◼   ► spot about ringing you respond with him [TS]

00:56:51 ◼   ► Jonathan Bonnie there carry that own it [TS]

00:57:01 ◼   ► we're gonna wear like a bat I slept I [TS]

00:57:03 ◼   ► slept on the floor in plenty of hotel [TS]

00:57:05 ◼   ► rooms you've been on Twitter Kings where [TS]

00:57:08 ◼   ► there was no forensic tape wraps around [TS]

00:57:10 ◼   ► the things leg of the bed yes you should [TS]

00:57:14 ◼   ► still there yeah I'm here you I'm there [TS]

00:57:17 ◼   ► were you here I got a text John hey [TS]

00:57:26 ◼   ► everybody I'm gonna know you're back hey [TS]

00:57:29 ◼   ► buddy how's it goin good where'd you go [TS]

00:57:31 ◼   ► are you where'd you go well I was here [TS]

00:57:34 ◼   ► um so you called down to Jonathan [TS]

00:57:36 ◼   ► panteth in you called down to the guy at [TS]

00:57:37 ◼   ► the front desk yeah they'd be fancy kind [TS]

00:57:40 ◼   ► of up to a point I don't you know I it's [TS]

00:57:43 ◼   ► not about being fancy mmm-hmm you know [TS]

00:57:45 ◼   ► what I mean like I have I've definitely [TS]

00:57:47 ◼   ► seen the [TS]

00:57:48 ◼   ► I've seen the splatter on the wall I [TS]

00:57:50 ◼   ► have definitely looked out the room of [TS]

00:57:51 ◼   ► my hotel RIT looked out the window into [TS]

00:57:54 ◼   ► the parking lot and said well I'm not [TS]

00:57:55 ◼   ► going out in the parking lot tonight [TS]

00:57:57 ◼   ► it's not based on what I'm seeing out [TS]

00:57:58 ◼   ► this window and now I can call down and [TS]

00:58:01 ◼   ► say I would like two orders of your I [TS]

00:58:07 ◼   ► would like to large pots of coffee and [TS]

00:58:10 ◼   ► they don't they don't how many people [TS]

00:58:15 ◼   ► doesn't matter I mean it kind of does [TS]

00:58:17 ◼   ► cuz it's number of settings but I think [TS]

00:58:19 ◼   ► it's the Chinese food problem where [TS]

00:58:20 ◼   ► they're mainly shaming you like there's [TS]

00:58:21 ◼   ► only six people would want this much [TS]

00:58:23 ◼   ► food ass right well and they're saying [TS]

00:58:25 ◼   ► like what if we bring you one pot of [TS]

00:58:27 ◼   ► coffee and then if you want more we can [TS]

00:58:29 ◼   ► bring some man you know what I don't [TS]

00:58:30 ◼   ► need as a coffee coach I do not it's if [TS]

00:58:33 ◼   ► it's fucking 6:30 a.m. and I've got a [TS]

00:58:35 ◼   ► flight in an hour and a half the last [TS]

00:58:36 ◼   ► thing I need is you being my [TS]

00:58:38 ◼   ► interlocutor between me and the coffee I [TS]

00:58:41 ◼   ► didn't need that I sat in an Audi the [TS]

00:58:44 ◼   ► other day I was I was driving this Audi [TS]

00:58:47 ◼   ► it was like here you drive and I'm now [TS]

00:58:49 ◼   ► I'm driving the Audi and I stopped and [TS]

00:58:51 ◼   ► there was some kind of situation I was [TS]

00:58:53 ◼   ► at a beach club cuz I'm fancy I was at a [TS]

00:58:55 ◼   ► meet I was visiting some friends at a [TS]

00:58:57 ◼   ► beach club and this is a Washington [TS]

00:58:59 ◼   ► Beach Club right so the water is cold [TS]

00:59:01 ◼   ► murky and apologetic apologetic is also [TS]

00:59:06 ◼   ► as like stuff floating in it like [TS]

00:59:08 ◼   ► there's nothing it the water in Seattle [TS]

00:59:10 ◼   ► is an antagonist right it's very [TS]

00:59:13 ◼   ► beautiful you can ride on it happily but [TS]

00:59:18 ◼   ► to go in it you have to be you have to [TS]

00:59:21 ◼   ► have prod you know it has to be a thing [TS]

00:59:22 ◼   ► where you're like I'm stealing myself [TS]

00:59:24 ◼   ► this is I live here and I'm gonna do [TS]

00:59:26 ◼   ► this you can't defeat me water it says [TS]

00:59:29 ◼   ► it's not welcoming as a body so no no [TS]

00:59:32 ◼   ► unless you're a child and children have [TS]

00:59:34 ◼   ► apparently no nerve endings or no [TS]

00:59:36 ◼   ► feelings of any kind although they will [TS]

00:59:37 ◼   ► cry if they are brushed to vigorously [TS]

00:59:41 ◼   ► they'll cry like they're being soldered [TS]

00:59:44 ◼   ► but but they can also jump into a [TS]

00:59:47 ◼   ► freezing cold lake and apparently it has [TS]

00:59:49 ◼   ► no effect on them no effect on their [TS]

00:59:50 ◼   ► little bodies but so I'm sitting in this [TS]

00:59:52 ◼   ► outie and here's what I want are you [TS]

00:59:57 ◼   ► ready I want [TS]

00:59:57 ◼   ► ready I want [TS]

01:00:00 ◼   ► to sit in the driver's side in the [TS]

01:00:02 ◼   ► driver's seat but with my feet out the [TS]

01:00:04 ◼   ► door [TS]

01:00:05 ◼   ► I want the door to be open and I want [TS]

01:00:07 ◼   ► the engine to be running now I don't [TS]

01:00:09 ◼   ► have any reason for this I just want to [TS]

01:00:12 ◼   ► start the car leave the door open [TS]

01:00:13 ◼   ► because I'm still talking to somebody [TS]

01:00:15 ◼   ► and I've slid my bottom onto the drivers [TS]

01:00:18 ◼   ► oh I see you're in you're in kind of a [TS]

01:00:20 ◼   ► resting state you're in a conversational [TS]

01:00:21 ◼   ► state yeah [TS]

01:00:22 ◼   ► I'm in the middle of the engine is long [TS]

01:00:24 ◼   ► not out of the car and nor are you [TS]

01:00:26 ◼   ► driving right and the thing is I started [TS]

01:00:29 ◼   ► the engine because I thought okay we're [TS]

01:00:31 ◼   ► leaving and then someone in our party [TS]

01:00:33 ◼   ► said oh wait I forgot my X at the you [TS]

01:00:38 ◼   ► know at the back of the beach club I [TS]

01:00:40 ◼   ► heard it on the X and I forgot it now I [TS]

01:00:43 ◼   ► have to go down there and get it but [TS]

01:00:45 ◼   ► I've got the motor running so I have a [TS]

01:00:46 ◼   ► choice I can turn the motor off [TS]

01:00:48 ◼   ► I can turn your mother down you can [TS]

01:00:51 ◼   ► bright and rock what I choose in this [TS]

01:00:55 ◼   ► moment is Leifer leave the motor running [TS]

01:00:57 ◼   ► open the door flip my legs out so I can [TS]

01:01:00 ◼   ► continue the conversation with somebody [TS]

01:01:02 ◼   ► that's outside the car and here's what [TS]

01:01:03 ◼   ► the car does relentless and I don't know [TS]

01:01:11 ◼   ► what my problem I don't know what I'm [TS]

01:01:12 ◼   ► doing wrong am i sitting in the chair [TS]

01:01:15 ◼   ► without my seatbelt on is the motor [TS]

01:01:17 ◼   ► running with the door open [TS]

01:01:19 ◼   ► is it that I have previously had a [TS]

01:01:21 ◼   ► problem with people driving away in an [TS]

01:01:22 ◼   ► Audi with the door open and with their [TS]

01:01:24 ◼   ► feet on the ground [TS]

01:01:25 ◼   ► that's feet on the ground and as a [TS]

01:01:25 ◼   ► precaution they just want to add a boop [TS]

01:01:27 ◼   ► boop boop so it's but it's not even a [TS]

01:01:29 ◼   ► boop boop boop it's like why why why [TS]

01:01:32 ◼   ► it's like all hands [TS]

01:01:33 ◼   ► it's like dive-bomber dive-bomber and [TS]

01:01:36 ◼   ► I'm and I'm looking at the car it's [TS]

01:01:39 ◼   ► interrupting my conversation I look at [TS]

01:01:40 ◼   ► the car the dashboard of car and I'm [TS]

01:01:42 ◼   ► like what the fuck is your problem like [TS]

01:01:45 ◼   ► leave me alone I know what I'm doing and [TS]

01:01:47 ◼   ► the car is just like womp womp womp and [TS]

01:01:51 ◼   ► I'm like fucking nanny-state let me make [TS]

01:01:54 ◼   ► my own decisions let me make this choice [TS]

01:01:56 ◼   ► for myself right like it's one thing to [TS]

01:01:59 ◼   ► tell me fasten your seat belt sir or we [TS]

01:02:02 ◼   ► recommend you fasten your seatbelt or [TS]

01:02:05 ◼   ► I'm gonna say a garage like the [TS]

01:02:07 ◼   ► innovation where garage door has got the [TS]

01:02:09 ◼   ► little beam of light that if this light [TS]

01:02:11 ◼   ► has broken stop the door coming down [TS]

01:02:13 ◼   ► I personally don't consider that nanny [TS]

01:02:14 ◼   ► state most of the time there's [TS]

01:02:16 ◼   ► frustration I'm gonna get out of that is [TS]

01:02:17 ◼   ► you got to redo it but they might save [TS]

01:02:19 ◼   ► your save your Pekinese is life but some [TS]

01:02:22 ◼   ► of this stuff it's just it does not seem [TS]

01:02:23 ◼   ► thought-out it seems like it's mostly to [TS]

01:02:25 ◼   ► what avoid litigation don't know no but [TS]

01:02:29 ◼   ► I mean now here and now he is a nice car [TS]

01:02:31 ◼   ► oh sure it's not advice but like you do [TS]

01:02:33 ◼   ► not want a map map map from a German car [TS]

01:02:36 ◼   ► well and and an wot wot where there's no [TS]

01:02:39 ◼   ► indication what the cars problem is it's [TS]

01:02:41 ◼   ► like and I'm literally now talking to [TS]

01:02:43 ◼   ► the car like what is your fucking [TS]

01:02:44 ◼   ► problem with me like ah look man I'm I'm [TS]

01:02:48 ◼   ► a grown-ass man I know what I need to [TS]

01:02:52 ◼   ► put my foot out the door Miss Daisy yeah [TS]

01:02:55 ◼   ► so here I am right I'm like I'm wearing [TS]

01:02:57 ◼   ► wet swim trunks reason with it you're [TS]

01:02:59 ◼   ► reasoning with the car I'm talking to [TS]

01:03:02 ◼   ► somebody that is also a member of a [TS]

01:03:03 ◼   ► beach club right and that's fancier than [TS]

01:03:05 ◼   ► me I'm not actually a member of this [TS]

01:03:07 ◼   ► Beach Club I just want to look cool [TS]

01:03:09 ◼   ► right I want to sit there with foot out [TS]

01:03:12 ◼   ► the door [TS]

01:03:12 ◼   ► toxeus it gets a good look the you know [TS]

01:03:15 ◼   ► how much gas my burning it's gonna it's [TS]

01:03:17 ◼   ► gonna burn more gas to turn the car off [TS]

01:03:18 ◼   ► and then back on than it is to just sit [TS]

01:03:20 ◼   ► here and let it idle it's just a little [TS]

01:03:22 ◼   ► it's just a little a thimble dropper you [TS]

01:03:25 ◼   ► know it's just a little eyedropper of [TS]

01:03:26 ◼   ► gas going into the fuel injection but [TS]

01:03:29 ◼   ► mmm mmm and I look like a fucking dork [TS]

01:03:34 ◼   ► because there's a klaxon in my car [TS]

01:03:38 ◼   ► telling me I'm doing something wrong [TS]

01:03:42 ◼   ► turn it off you look weak cuz on the one [TS]

01:03:51 ◼   ► hand it's warning you about something [TS]

01:03:52 ◼   ► you don't need to know about the agency [TS]

01:03:55 ◼   ► to stop it that's right I'm a freakin [TS]

01:03:57 ◼   ► cock so here are my choices right so I [TS]

01:04:08 ◼   ► can't like close around roll the window [TS]

01:04:11 ◼   ► down [TS]

01:04:13 ◼   ► that's something that a mom at a beach [TS]

01:04:16 ◼   ► club does but I'm a dad I won't feed out [TS]

01:04:19 ◼   ► or maybe the problem is that I don't [TS]

01:04:21 ◼   ► have my seatbelt on so then put the seat [TS]

01:04:23 ◼   ► belt on halfway across it [TS]

01:04:26 ◼   ► I bet if you turn the engine off it [TS]

01:04:27 ◼   ► might well would it still make I bet it [TS]

01:04:29 ◼   ► would still make the door beep beep beep [TS]

01:04:30 ◼   ► well so this is what I did this is what [TS]

01:04:32 ◼   ► I ultimately chose did you satisfice I [TS]

01:04:35 ◼   ► shut that engine down I shut everything [TS]

01:04:38 ◼   ► down took the key out like shut it all [TS]

01:04:40 ◼   ► down buck being shut it down it was like [TS]

01:04:43 ◼   ► a it was like Three Mile Island I'm [TS]

01:04:46 ◼   ► standing in the middle like shut it down [TS]

01:04:47 ◼   ► lockdown mode and finally everything [TS]

01:04:50 ◼   ► went off enough that I could have this [TS]

01:04:52 ◼   ► conversation and you know and I felt [TS]

01:04:54 ◼   ► like okay you know what car fuck you [TS]

01:04:56 ◼   ► then how do you like going back to sleep [TS]

01:04:57 ◼   ► but I didn't win I didn't win because [TS]

01:05:00 ◼   ► some what I wanted to do might you know [TS]

01:05:02 ◼   ► what I wanted to do was go to Germany [TS]

01:05:04 ◼   ► walk through very very very clean [TS]

01:05:07 ◼   ► hallways with someone in a white lab [TS]

01:05:10 ◼   ► coat who would use a key card to fob me [TS]

01:05:13 ◼   ► in to some inner lab and fob me past [TS]

01:05:16 ◼   ► that into a further lab where a guy [TS]

01:05:19 ◼   ► sitting on a stool a very very clean [TS]

01:05:22 ◼   ► metal stool at a very clean metal high [TS]

01:05:24 ◼   ► desk also wearing a lab coat and some [TS]

01:05:27 ◼   ► glasses would turn around be introduced [TS]

01:05:29 ◼   ► to me and then I would slap him with a [TS]

01:05:32 ◼   ► white kid leather glove holding you sir [TS]

01:05:36 ◼   ► I challenge you to offend through a [TS]

01:05:39 ◼   ► saber duel right now unless you [TS]

01:05:42 ◼   ► eliminate this feature or put a button [TS]

01:05:44 ◼   ► on the dash that turns all this shit off [TS]

01:05:46 ◼   ► mm-hmm and do not disturb on your phone [TS]

01:05:50 ◼   ► like where you could just say like I [TS]

01:05:51 ◼   ► don't want hear about anything yeah [TS]

01:05:53 ◼   ► something like something where you could [TS]

01:05:55 ◼   ► sign a piece of paper because you think [TS]

01:05:57 ◼   ► you know what it's like the Tesla's [TS]

01:05:58 ◼   ► maybe they have a bareback boat bareback [TS]

01:06:01 ◼   ► mode that they could enable on a bespoke [TS]

01:06:03 ◼   ► basis you take it in you say are you [TS]

01:06:05 ◼   ► aware you did Papa but the ball you [TS]

01:06:08 ◼   ► agree to the terms the terms and [TS]

01:06:09 ◼   ► conditions and we will enable bareback [TS]

01:06:11 ◼   ► mode yeah we'll take all this away yeah [TS]

01:06:14 ◼   ► I you know I had an old Audi a long time [TS]

01:06:16 ◼   ► ago that had a that had an early [TS]

01:06:18 ◼   ► iteration of this beep beep beep it [TS]

01:06:21 ◼   ► wasn't why why but it was like but loud [TS]

01:06:25 ◼   ► mm-hmm and that Audi had some problem it [TS]

01:06:28 ◼   ► was a 1989 outie 5000 s Quattro [TS]

01:06:34 ◼   ► it had a problem because it was old and [TS]

01:06:36 ◼   ► it had been ridden hard and it had been [TS]

01:06:38 ◼   ► put away wet repeatedly yeah and what [TS]

01:06:41 ◼   ► how it manifests that was that this [TS]

01:06:44 ◼   ► thing the sound periodically as I was [TS]

01:06:48 ◼   ► driving would just go like five times [TS]

01:06:54 ◼   ► really loud and sometimes the car would [TS]

01:06:57 ◼   ► go through phases where it did it every [TS]

01:06:59 ◼   ► 20 minutes and sometimes you wouldn't [TS]

01:07:01 ◼   ► hear this sound for weeks and then it [TS]

01:07:03 ◼   ► would I've had cars as problems like [TS]

01:07:05 ◼   ► that and you take it to the guy and the [TS]

01:07:07 ◼   ► guy says it's electric mm-hmm right it's [TS]

01:07:09 ◼   ► probably electric that's exactly what I [TS]

01:07:11 ◼   ► got I was like tell me where the tell me [TS]

01:07:14 ◼   ► where these wires are and I will clip [TS]

01:07:16 ◼   ► them and like it is code for $600 right [TS]

01:07:20 ◼   ► if the if these wires are and the thing [TS]

01:07:22 ◼   ► was I would when it was doing it I would [TS]

01:07:23 ◼   ► lean down into the dashboard and try to [TS]

01:07:25 ◼   ► identify from whence it came [TS]

01:07:28 ◼   ► because I was prepared I was prepared to [TS]

01:07:31 ◼   ► do that thing one time in high school a [TS]

01:07:33 ◼   ► friend of mine had like a 72 Camaro RS [TS]

01:07:39 ◼   ► that he had really customized in that [TS]

01:07:41 ◼   ► baby blue flake paint it had supercool [TS]

01:07:45 ◼   ► Cragar rims it was really dope and we [TS]

01:07:48 ◼   ► went out to the high school parking lot [TS]

01:07:50 ◼   ► at lunchtime one time and someone had [TS]